#to really make a difference you have to challenge everything they dont want you to challenge

[waywardsalt]

tag rant but man i fuckin hate the new direction for loz

[sk3l3t0n444]

i wish i wasnt so scared of everything

[1-49]

burnt orange, #CC5500

╰► A Smoky Night, or an evening that smoulders forever

pairing: jaehyun × f!reader

❝ A burnt orange aura reveals high ambition and a strong desire for change, driven by practicality. Individuals with this shade may display a touch of selfishness, pride, or aggression. Its brown tones introduce a negative energy aspect, indicating potential challenges, lack of energy, or feeling stuck.

tags: this my fav type of angst. tense energy laced with pain with an undercurrent in flirting lol. wc. 10k

jaehyun’s too fine & unreadable. lots of messy signals and an overall fogged atmosphere. think both of them are toxic in their individual style lmao.. pining. implied fevered moments.

Whichever burns brighter ─── the orange flame rising from the evening lamp in the corner , or the view through the windows as the sun sets over the horizon ── you dont know. Each affects your feelings, but primarily it ’s the way it all reflects on him. The warm glow that has accumulated in his harsh eyes from both simply signifies that the journey is coming to an end. The day is almost over, and so are you two.

────── Slanderous comments were made, and accusations were traded. There is now nothing left to cling to. The only truth beneath all of Jaehyun’s painfully continuous smoothing and touching of his baseball cap, which he seems to be pulling in despite the fact that it’s already on his head, is his intense anxiety and uneasiness.

There is no longer any chance to salvage this; everything is in terminal decline, so there is no point in saying you’re sorry or taking back what you both said. Moreover, this should be easy to conclude because if there is anything you have learned from him, it’s how to develop stronger character.

... But the truth is very different from your wish that it is simple.

& you hate the truth! You hate finding yourself in this predicament. You hate that there’s no turning around. But the worst part of it all is that you hate that you lo—

His eternally soft hair, which has grown slightly, peeks out from under the cap, concealing the majority of his nape. An intimate place that was once kissed, bruised, and then kissed again—but now, his hair is just pushing you away from all of that.

Even his neck is contributing to the sand pile of memories because his oversized, washed brown shirt is too loose around the collar. His silver oli ball chain necklace, which you used to roll around your finger and play with endlessly, now sits glumly in the hollows of his collarbones. That this person was once a close person to you, it’s now a fever dream.

-

“Please—please stop talking! You-you’re only making this worse!”

“So…” 

Giving room for the raging argument to subside, Jaehyun rubs his jaw, debating what to say next. “...so that’s it? We-we are really doing this? Cause we’ve been here before, an—”

You let out a groan of frustration at his pathetic attempt to stop him from talking more. Of course, it’s easy for him to say that, you think, holding that forsaken question under your breath once again as though you want this, as though it’s simple. The way he poses it too, while wearing nothing but skepticism on his face as if he didn’t see this coming after so many meaningless arguments, angers you even more. He’s beautiful, but at times like this, all you want to do is slap all of that beauty straight out of his face.

But perhaps that’s exactly what’s bothering you—your obsession with his nonchalanc-y, which you used to find sexy, now seems to be eating away at your feelings. Stoic expression, a face, and a clenched jaw is all that’s meeting you, so maybe, finding him attractive during these fights does make you crazy. 

You take a moment to gather your thoughts before answering, realizing that you’re never going to get anywhere by dragging your eyes along every contour on his delicious face anyway. Surely, it has kept you running back to him. A moment of weakness. And for some stupid unknown reason, he has always tasted even better after every fight. How? But also no! Not this time. You promise!

“What do you want from me, Jaehyun!? Since there’s no telling where we’re going, and it’s been like this for months! I think you’ve been under the impression that I’d wait forever, holding on- and on to what you’ve never said and never will. But I’m not trying to do this anymore! I am seriously not! I’m sick of getting only half of you. I’m done playing open cards. I’m done! Whatever this is… it’s-it’s over.”

Jaehyun scowls at you and ceases his pacing in the middle of the room. 

There! Finally, a sign of disturbance. Though you two have been together long enough for you to learn through his impassiveness and all those small, tangible details that guard his innate tender, it’s still difficult to shake an emotion out of him—a real, deep-seated emotion that takes your ‘situationship’ into account.

Simultaneously, perhaps that will help explain why he ‘might even have’ a reason to dislike you, given that you were the only one who witnessed him at his most vulnerable. The only person who truly knows him; nevertheless, he has been growing increasingly aloof lately, so maybe that’s not something he’s into anymore. Maybe all he’s doing is just returning to his former self, the one who existed before the shattered shell you met. And maybe at last he has put his every piece back together and realized that sensitivity is the devil’s bitch and that in this ring, he’s a dog on his own.

Right… Too many ‘maybes’, but he doesn’t give you much to go on for you to consider any other options anyway. 

Instead, he smoothes the cap over his head for the forty-ninth time, then flips it back so the bill is in front of his eyes and covers them slightly. Like this, his jawline adopts an even more defined shape. His lips... 

The aura of mystery he exudes boots right back in. Given the esoteric shadow cast over his cheekbones, he seems even more prepared to walk out of the door at any moment. Or else you can anticipate more of his wicked smiles, lies, and games if he chooses to stay. 

Ironically, he really knows how to wear the cap’s logo, which befits his unserious dead humor. ‘Hysteric’ remains blasted on his head in Times New Roman, but there’s not a trace of hysteria in his character at the moment, as much as you’d like him to have.

Though you wish he were, because if he were, it’d mean he still finds significance in this and that he’s prepared to fight. But that’s not the case at all right now; his voice is as calm and collected as ever, lacking any incline.

Bizarrely enough, the thing that, sort of, falls under that statement are, in fact, your nerves. They rave as you watch him. They fry at the edges. You start to sound even more irate as you think he’s not losing anything, while you seem to be the only one.

Though the words are loaded like a gun, you don’t want to come across as foolish or desperate. But as he offers you no other option, you believe that to be the only picture you paint at this point. And you don’t care if it’s an ugly one.

You’re also having a hard time with your thoughts because they seem to go on forever and it takes you a long time to organize them into something to say. So you just take a moment to ignore him and turn your head away from him, giving the fight another breath, but once you’re ready to go again, he’s somehow closer to you. Significantly closer to you, and only you know how dangerous that is.

You go on, continuing to rant, but all you can seem to focus on are his lips and how they shape with each little thing he says. He’s really of little words in deep tones if you must say so, and—

Well-Fuck! You are caught touring his lips again!! 

You’ve no idea how he manages to keep them so balmed and dreamy at all times. Tangerine dusk pours through the windows and contrasts with the same shade of the lamp, making his lips look like melted wax, beckoning you. So sticky, sweet icing-coated, enticing you to lick... Oh, he’s making you sick.

You wave your head, shaking the nasties that have accumulated. Jaehyun doesn’t move an inch. If anything, the fucker knows!

He then makes a move toward you, only this time you’re unsure of whether to regard these steps as your victories or defeats.

As you go on, you find yourself stumbling over your words more and more, observing him removing his cap off of his head once again and running his fingers through his hair, just like he has done countless times before, except this time he doesn’t put it back; instead, he throws it down on the sofa. 

Needless to say, there’s something innately dangerous, something deeply unbalanced and maniacal in the way he tilts his head to one side and slowly brushes his hair back as his jet strands catch inside the gaps of his knuckles. Their drag… The glare he gives you... Working his eyes out in the most possible way to make a wreak out of you... He has to, how could he not? You’re a delight to enjoy.  

A rabid. The charm of his masculinity surges up as he watches you from the tilted angle. Something deep inside of him transfers esoterically inside your soul. You want him to get deeper into your anger, realizing you’re both just as toxic.

You should tell him to walk away! That he has ruined the evening! That—

But then… he’s looking at you like this... with the absolute right amount of fucked up...

and maybe that’s why you can’t escape, 

and maybe that’s exactly why he can’t escape either, as he knows how much you love this. 

It’s sick. Absolutely. Entirely. As it backfires all over again; as it all burns up and the orange bathes in the dull black of his eyes. No doubt, he’s your top choice trouble.

But-But you’ve had enough of that cup! You’ve had enough of trouble! You don’t want more! You—

-

You won’t be shaken. He won’t have an effect on you this time. 

Step by step, you move away from him in an attempt to create a space that he keeps closing. You’re conscious of the fact that your eyes dart all over the place and are never focused on his, which gives away the fact that you aren’t really serious about ending this, but you manage nonetheless.

“Sure,” There’s poison in your voice as you begin your closing argument, oblivious to the fact that it’d become just another rant and soften from its vicious substance. 

“I-I was lonely when I met you, but so were you! I knew you were lonely too. And it worked... Rather somehow…” 

Hesitating, you cast a sidelong glance at your feet, as though trying to remember something, but in the end, failing.

“I don’t know. Maybe we talked more?” Posing the questions to yourself, you pout. “Or? Maybe not? I don’t know. I really don’t know!”

Even though you’re feeling extremely tense, rattled, and frail in your own skin, you look up to him as you proceed. What more is he capable of doing? He’s nothing but a pretty face—It’s your preferred perception. What’s currently more believable. The simpler way out. That he’s not at all complex; and is just as blunt and empty as he wants to make the impression. That the few words birthed from his soft, pouty, supple, unkissed sunkissed lips are nothing but futile, meaningless, and devoid.

However, there appears to be a deep crease developing between his eyebrows, so perhaps your impression of him is inaccurate(?) You aren’t sure why, but all of a sudden you get scared at the possibility that it could mean something. Hell! Looking at him drains you immensely. But-but you-you have t—

“Our fights have stripped us of all our beauty… I’m just left watching you drift farther away.” 

As his brows knit, so do yours. You’re debating whether or not to acknowledge your emotions, but in the end, you do. 

“To be honest, it’s hurting me. But regardless how ugly the experience is, it’s made me realize how much you mean to me. But still… I know that’s not an excuse to stay with you. I tried to play it cool at first because we were never really stable, but— Not anymore!”

“I don’t know... I feel like there’s nothing I can do anymore. And yes! We’ve already had this conversation. It seems that you particularly like bringing up that fact... Except nothing has been fixed since the last time we fought, J. I wouldn’t be so proud to mention it. It’s merely there to serve as a reminder that we are constantly failing. You say it as though there’s some reason we shouldn’t end this right now, and I’m not sure why you’d even bring that up. I really don’t... We’re no fit for each other.”

Your tone rises at ‘That’s the truth!’ implying that you’re still not prepared to think about it and that you don’t want to accept it, for it to only become more painfully sad and subdued in the following affirming, “That’s the truth…” 

You hesitate a moment more before saying the next thing, as it feels like daggers are stabbing into your heart, but you do it nonetheless. Breathing also becomes more difficult as your chest begins to feel constricted, but you force yourself to swallow the fear ball stuck in your throat. Feverous, a shiver of cold runs up your spine as you watch him with your final words. “We failed to save each other. I you… you me.”

With his teeth ground down, Jaehyun rolls his eyes. Your words just feel like a smack. It’s like your attitude has just now put him in a bad mood as if you’re trying your best to leave a permanent crease in between his brows.

You know he’d rather be numb than angry, but the feeling boils within him. You feel that he’s on the verge of just snapping, but he won’t do it outright. In a way, you almost kind of admire that ability of his—to be so patient, as he secretly harbors passive-aggressive tendencies.

Catching a glimpse, you notice his nails scrape through layers of palm flesh as his fingers ball into fists. He continues to clench and unclench them as though he’s encouraging blood flow, but there’s more to the action than that.

And as though he’s suddenly transformed into an animal, he moves his jaw a bit before locking it and pressing his teeth into a dense snarl.

Maybe it aches; maybe he’s in excruciating pain, but he doesn’t show it. The skin collapses in his cheeks, leaving them sunken. His face has the power to kill. It’s deadly... Sexy.

You’re expecting to hear some mean words from him too; and they’re possibly waiting on his lips, hanging in the air between you two like a thread waiting to be cut. 

And so, he finally speaks up. “You’re so easy to give up,” his voice as deeply warm as it can get—contradictory in and of itself, just like he is.

The word choice?? It catches you off guard. Even shocks you. Suddenly? Abruptly and seriously? Just like that!? Of all the words and expressions conceivable, and after you’ve been berating him for so long, all you get back is that? Really!? You find them so unbelievably funny that you can’t help but smirk miserably and accept their presumed grim sarcasm.

Asking rhetorically, you follow their ironic trajectory, “So easy to give up!?” playing it off cynically at first until you’re no longer able to. Then, as you continue, your voice grows huskier; he actually provides the reason for you to do so, encouraging you to take things seriously when he won’t. 

“How am I so easy to give up!? Tell me! Tell me, do I give up easily? Or-uh-do I hold on too long, Jaehyun!? Cause I gave us—This… enough time and realized what I want will never be enough… I need to take care of myself.”

Saying, “You are selfish,” he takes another step. His eyebrow arches subconsciously as he says the word, which is also repulsively beautifully formed by his lips. But what does it mean? What does he mean!??

“Wow,” you’re left sneering and scoffing in disbelief. “And can you blame me!? For wanting to protect myself? For wishing better for myself!? Because you—” In the heat, you even step over a boundary as you take a step towards him too, pointing and pressing your index finger at his chest. “You are so distant! You hardly express what you feel. I can’t get through to you. It’s like I have you but I don’t-really…” Almost as if it had finally drowned in sorrow, your voice becomes faint and gentle. “I’m tired, Jay.” 

Your eyes say the same thing, there’s a sudden despair in them. A vision that perpetually sinks. Eyes of ‘the conquered.’ Glossy. Your tears are asking for permission as you say,  “You-you are like something I can’t really have... And-and every time we have this conversation, you-you love to-to change it,” you feel your lips quiver. “To-to stop it. To—”

“Stop!” Jaehyun interrupts your delirious thoughts as he takes the last step and closes any gap that may exist between you two.

“Don’t!” You shout back at whatever move, aim, or objective he may have. But remain still, resolute, and maintain your ground. Not yet waving the white, even though he’s so close—so excessively, painfully close—that he’s able to feel the quivering waves coming from your body. So awfully close that his scent is gnawing at your nose. It’s insistent, just like his perpetually clenched jawline. His jawbone might shatter from such thightness.

The stimulation all comes in spasms. Your walls crumble on themselves, gripping, tightening, constricting... Your body begins to prepare for a fit of sobbing. Hot. Quaver. Fever. Literally, you writhe in agony under his intimidating breath that seeps beneath your skin and sinks its daggered claws within. However, you gasp for air as your own breath slips from your fingertips. 

Whispery, “I wish I—I could be true…” intimately, “to you, Jeong…” vulnerably, “I really do… But it’s plain to see I’m not the one.”

Silence. 

A profound sense of loss spreads through the room and meditates on the lifeless air. Despite the body closeness, there’s a lingering emptiness that feels like the quiet of a hall on a cold winter night. 

The sun fades to shadows, chasing the sunset away. Beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows, bluish-dark inks the sky. Duplicates of the two of you on the walls due to the lamp’s remaining orange. The only thing left after such a confession is that the ground appears really lovely and that you ought to concentrate on it till he separates and walks away. 

It nearly stops your heart when Jaehyun’s pensive, icy fingers circle around your chin and lift your face to pull you closer.

His slightly black mullet trickles along his earlobes. With a furious look, he rolls his lower lip between his teeth. In thought, though, there’s still resoluteness residing on his face at which you want to scream, ‘SAY SOMETHING TO ME.’

But why? Why would you want more, knowing it’d only prove a disaster and cause more misery? 

Thus, you grab his wrist angrily, forcing him to stop controlling your face and eyes so you can only focus on his. You’ve also had the best teacher in him because he has always been so competitive. Two can therefore grit their teeth at each other.

There’s also a lot of resistance initially due to his strength. You both lose a little bit of balance as he counter-grips your wrist, and you briefly rustle as your bodies come into contact. What matters is that his hand does, in the end, get ripped away from your chin. 

With his empty hands by his sides, Jaehyun gently blinks multiple times, and all of a sudden, everything changes—the energy, the atmosphere... him… you. 

His lips flat into a bread-shaped smile, causing lovley holes to sink at his cheeks. You hear nothing but a cry of help through his tiny, adorable smile, which may indicate that he refuses to offer a piece of his heart because he doesn’t think it’ll be kept unbroken. His almond eyes liquid with anxiety as you expect his voice to soften again and tell you another pretty lie.

Lacking specificity, you ask sharply, “How do you do that?” squinting cynically because you find it incredible. What you’re referring to, though, is the way he transitions between such extreme emotions in such a tranquil, almost graceful, manner. It astounds you. You’d never see him in total distress. He won’t show it. 

A little perplexed, Jaehyun asks, “Do what?” 

There’s no way that he’s oblivious to it, so you feel compelled to lash out once more, but all you do is shake your head a little and roll your eyes, which is the equivalent of ‘nevermind.’ This way, you restrain yourself from repeating the same things over and over. Besides, what would be their point?

A second moment of silence ensues. 

To release some of his tension, Jaehyun lifts his chin and purses his lips, adjusting the loose collar of his shirt, and continues in the same manner, bending his neck side to side while hooking his fingers to his chain necklace and moving it around. 

Not knowing so, or rather so, he’s easily creating very frustrating hypnotism, teasing you in with each twist of his finger around his necklace. His veins are throbbing and protruding, and his tense neck cords are drawing the majority of your attention. His bare neck seems to be begging you to desert your lips on the scent of his perfume. At the same time, if your fingers had a chance, they’d also trace the familiar lines of his collars…..

Yikes! You seem to be clinging again, so Jaehyun bites his smile a couple of times and drags his tongue across his teeth before beaming widely. You shake your head but are unable to resist the invitation to smile yourself when his puffy eyes curve up. His flirty dimples seek your thumbs. This motherfucker…

Altering between hotness and sweetness should be considered a crime. Jail time is due for him. No way are you flirting back.

There seems to be an addiction to space, so proximity is key. But if he gets any closer with this newfound, unfair energy, you fear that you won’t be able to let him go.

In fact, Jaehyun does just that. Being quite competitive, he’d not want to finish second in a game where the person who keeps reaching closer wins.

Naturally, time slows down on itself. And yet more is said now—in the space, between the breaths, and after all those mean words. Could it be that you are becoming a fan of the hushness he so preaches?

His brow lifts again, but this time it’s more like a test, with his slightly blown-out, intrigued eye asking, ‘Why is it so hard for you to believe that I like you?’ It’s playful, but it manipulates you by raising doubts in your mind, making you wonder if he really means, ‘Do I like you?’

Feeling a little roused on the inside, you look at him with the same intensity that he does, and really the only thing separating you two at this moment is your willingness to reach out. 

In spur, eyes, lips, and notions are all involved in the play. Jaehyun’s sensuality is just accelerating on top of your angsts. And every playful bite of his lips telepathically leads you in soft-spoken: Open your eyes; Open the keys; Open the mind. Just senses pleading with you to open them. Sight and smell are relatively easy to cross off the list, but taste and touch are a tad bit more tricky.

Lingering just at the tip of your nose, the weight of his perfume raptures you even more so now than previously. It feels as though you’re allowing him to reclaim control over you by allowing his magic to work.

And it does, elevating you to an unexplainable height. If perfume can offer a little sense of who somebody is, his attests to the warmth of his character. Pricey but never pretentious, you assume there seems to be a depth behind his tendency to favor musky scents. As they settle into the skin of each person differently, they have a unique, layered appeal. This intricacy speaks to Jaehyun in a way that’s similar to him and the various facets that comprise his identity. He’s the mild heat of spring—subtle but all at once intense.

That, plus the fact that you’re tipping more to your toes, more to his nose. Again, balance becomes a wavy thing as you’re beginning to lose to the chemical waves.

You overheat, and there’s this ecstatic tingling in your toes—this burning sensation!! 

Cooling you down, the wooden floor feels surprisingly nice and cold under your feet. Melting. His lips are steering your emotions, making you loathe the remaining distance between you. And finally, finally, losing yourself- as you descend into the depths of his eyes. 

Jaehyun is just smoothly succeeding in wrapping himself around you like the night...

Your crazed heart makes your chest dance to such a heavy rhythm. Your breaths are shallow, and your eyes are—

Pretty malicious, Jaehyun reaches out and slowly runs his knuckles down your cheek as to worsen it all. 

With an even more seductive tone and a teasing smile, he asks softly. “What’s the deal, baby?”

Oh god... 

A long, trembling sigh escapes you.

He knows! He knows he has to do so little... As if the electric vibrations weren’t already enough, he causes more!! Ghoosbumps begin to form houses along your skin. A powerful, uncomfy warmth ascends from your throat and becomes embedded in your cheeks. Well, this is what happens when a person’s voice becomes your favorite auditory hallucination.

A deep, velvety tone, a voice that belongs in a museum. Best when he’s used it to read you. Valentine warm after he’s led you in a song. Carnal, and in shady hues when he whispers. Such a wild thing, how your thoughts won’t stop romanticizing it. It’s all that you want to hear—as if everything ever stemmed from these id-driven impulses—is to ask for only his voice… Only his voice! And you CAN be greedy…

Once he nuzzles your nose and presses his tample against yours, your body sinks. Your closed eyes are a final measure of restrain as his breath mingles with yours. Thoughts race past like speeding cars. How in the world are you supposed to stop them? Your mouth gets clumsy in the end, it betrays you. 

“I-I shouldn’t want you.” You blurt.

Jaehyun smiles in front of your lips and confirms in a flirty, “No-pe.” Just steering your comment in the direction of something good... Because yes, you should—

As you lie, your eyes open. “I really shouldn’t shouldn’t want you!”

Which makes his smile widen even more. His whiskers creasing invisible lines in his cheeks. An artist, indeed... On sinister thought, an angel’s grin.

To say you don’t love him is a lie. To say you love him is an understatement. To say you love him, you can’t. To say you love him now, you arn’t allowed to. It’s basically hell. 

You’re doomed. You’re screwed with this magical person standing in front of you. 

Yes! Exactly! HOW DOES HE DO THAT?

“How can something so wrong feel so right, then?” He tases in a low voice, dragging his nose across your cheek like a scar. It’s irrelevant if he’s referring to ‘this’ thing or himself. The final point is, he does things to you, and he knows it.

You groan a soft “Jaehyun,” with a mixture of protest and pleasure.

Contrarily, Jaehyun puts his hands around your waist and begins climbing. His lips start to brush under your ear and against your neck.

Shit-SHIT- 

Are you going to fall all the way into his hands, or what? 

What the devil kind of communication are you supposed to give? What does he expect you to answer? He’s the most bitter sweet, sweetness, heaven sent—

“You are... so...bad,” you drag as his lips rediscover the most delicate spots on your neck, and his muffled hums and moans accompany each kiss. 

He acts to support the statement that was meant to be the general response to your question, so it gets a little derived and distorted with what he does, and you find yourself tossing your head back.

He ascends back up, rubbing a nasty “Yeah?” in your face and planting a smiley-boyish kiss to the side of your cheek next to your ear. His damp, choked breath on your skin; his whisper filling your ear; his smoky energy... “So are you, babe.”

FUCK. Awful! Foul. But your body listens. Your wants are left twisting up in knots, and you know only one thing will unlace...

But your mouth... 

Your mouth can’t stop sabotaging and pointing out the nonexistent problems, which almost always become problems later on. This might get you the ‘big mouth’ rep but there’s a lot of good coming out that just gets interlaced with some bad.  So, yes. True. You’re bad. But so are you both.

There’s a fireside of warmth he has aroused inside you and your lips are almost touching, but but—

“That’s… That’s why the outline of this is wrong.”

—you’re a little stubborn... so if he thinks your brain can take a backseat and let you be so easygoing, then he’s got it wrong. It’ll take longer.

Jaehyun’s fingertips, though, continue to trace along the length of your arm, calling you his with every line while his nose lightly rubs against yours, prompting you to—

“Is it?” he asks. 

But maybe that’s what gets him. The ‘longer’. The far more difficult route to the goal. The much larger build-up. Love that bites. Love like war... Sometimes necessary quiet like love in a hunt. Love like the end of the world.

They warned you about him…

You breathe out the air you’ve been holding in your lungs and slip away from him. Depressed by his lukewarm replies, you respond coolly, “Of course, that’s how you’d answer.” 

Sincerely, you want to stop; you want to be able to raise your chin, extend your chest, lift your shoulders and project strength, but the situation is so sad that all of its burdens fall upon you, causing you to slouch and feel its full weight once more.

For a hot minute, your tongue stays tied around your throat, as if it were forming an unbreakable noose around your neck. You two exist in this quiet, as all that keeps coming to mind is how beautifully his dark hair frames his face.

And after living in it briefly, you ask quietly, “What happened to you? What happened to us, Jaeh—”

He cuts in, “Oh, come on!” pointing a finger at you disapprovingly and raising his voice a bit, if not for the first time. “Don’t minimize us!” 

However, as he goes on, his mouth mirrors his anguish, almost taking on a very faint, repulsive, sick look as he blurts out the words. It moves in disgust, but it hardly opens at all. Like he’s repelled by what he’s hearing or because he’s speaking back in a similarly offensive way(?) 

“It’s rather insulting and beneath your design... To drive me away... When-when I’m not.”

The comment so easily revolts you back that just—

“I don’t have to drive you away, Jaehyun! You are away by definition... You are so away, you’re unavailable!” 

Fuck!

You pause when the bobbling sensation inside of you rips at your throat, burning your eyes and causing tears to well up like water in a den but other than that you try to hold onto whatever crumb of strength you have left and continue. What does it matter if a hot tear rolls down your cheek and bruises it like a sharp diamond edge?

“I wait for you... I-I fucking watch for you, Jaehyun. The look on your face controls every feeling I have. I can’t fucking breathe because I’m waiting for you. It’s sick! It’s making me sick. I’m sick by it! I’m—I’m sick while all you do is cut my wrists so there’s no love for me- to- reac—” 

Love??? 

Struck that the word left your mouth, you shut your eyes. Stupid! But then again, what did you expect? It can only surface in circumstances this excruciating. And no one has ever said the word up until now. It has never existed in the dictionary you share.

And you may blame your fuzzy vision on the tears that have welled up, or you can blame the small space separating you, but neither of these arguments can discount the fact that the word also takes Jaehyun by surprise and is left doing something to him too.

It’s impossible to miss the red that quickly built up in his ears—it’s not been there all evening. It looks so out of place against his ivory skin. Though nuanced, the action is very telling in itself. Something so intense and visceral that even his mind is powerless to stop it. The slightest clue that only you and he understand its significance and how unsettlingly intimate it is.

Or maybe you’re projecting again? Maybe you just want it to mean something(?) Maybeee… May—

You—You shouldn’t have used that word so carelessly! You— 

In truth, you feel crushed by its weight. You feel like you’re ripped bare in the middle of the room and you can’t dress up your feelings again. But there’s also this bizarre solace in the fact that you don’t have to anymore. As the tears begin, your voice, cadence, and delivery are all off.  As if they haven’t been already... But you can’t stop now; you’re inside the flux.

“Offer me a promise. Some people carry them in their back pockets, Jaehyun, why can’t you? Can’t you just make one?” Imagine how ironic it’s that you look down to the side pockets of his cargo pants, hoping he’ll pull them from there. But zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. As you go, you’re ugly and desperate. “Even-Even if it doesn’t get fulfilled. Even if it’s just a lie. Please, please just-just say something.”

Jaehyun rubs his temple before combing his hair back, at last giving in to this hour-long argument. 

“You know I don’t do that. I have never! I’ve never given false promises and I’ve never lied, even though you enjoy using that against me.” 

You know it carries a lot when he calls your name, “.........., this victim blaming has become so casual that—that I somehow always become the spectacle.”

With each painful heartbeat, those pitiful butterflies that occupy the pit of your stomach evolve into bees that sting. The room keeps closing on you as you cry one of the hottest tears you have ever cried, which, to put it simply, causes you to lose the plot. Your words begin to drag on and on, as if you’re barely sewing them together.

“See, you-you can’t… You aren’t willing. No, it’s pretending that you care. You don’t! And we’ve promised to fix—and-and we haven—”

Right now, everything is flying over your head, and it’s too much to try and process whether by getting closer to you again he’s trying to tell you that he’s won the argument or....... 

but he does. Jaehyun closes your distance from each other.

You keep your eyes at your feet when his tone softens to one of tenderness again, like the aggressive one isn’t his choice and will never be his choice. It’s only you who can’t make the distinction if he’s speaking with pangs just now or just plain—

“You don’t trust me. You’ve never, in fact.”

“I don’t? … I haven’t?”

You suppress a sob, but your body makes it obvious. But you decide to lift your head and confront him; this is what he’s made of you… A mess—from the ‘home’ he’s constructed around himself. What hurts you is every brick he placed there for protection.

You try again, completely torn. Even your voice is defeated. Long-suffering and tender, “How have I not, Jaehyun? How have I not?” 

-

That leaves you staring into the deep brown abyss. His eyes have become very glossy; perhaps he’s tired. Streaks of moonlight gold and fragments of stolen sunsets appear every time the corner light strikes them ‘just right.’ For a moment, you’re grateful that you have a warm place to return to…

However, one minute you’re on fire, the next you’re burned. That’s just how it works. Initially, you believe it to be the dead petals from the dried rose that have fallen onto your candle next to it and caught fire, but it’s actually the entire thing. This entire thing stinks. It stings.

You dab away the tears in your eyes and smother out the flame, which is cutting off the air and the charring stench is making you ill. Whatever, anyway, on a long enough timeline, you’re bound to get burned; everybody is flammable. 

You take a deep swallow and then say what’s already been on your mind for most of the evening. 

“I won’t say anything more... I-I think… you should walk away. You ruined the evening.”

…Right. Enough playing house with each other’s feelings. 

-

Be that as it may, all of the ‘distance’ between you and him can be summed up in a single word that right now just so happens to be on your tongue. It’d also be easier if one of you could say it, but it’s hard to swallow pride when you’re prideful on both sides. 

At first, the way he squints and rolls his tongue suggests that your words have surprised him. But somewhat, gravity shifts quietly, gently. Something heavy, almost out of balance, is in his dark eyes. You think they’re absorbing as they walk from yours down to your lips and back to your eyes again, and perhaps for the last time. Like as if he’s penetrating your doubt with his last seductive stare, the one that touches you without touching. 

Breathing in moisture from abstract feelings, love on fire, and mischief well-hung onto his lips, Jaehyun asks softly, “You want me to leave?”

Your gut is in knots as you rip off a breathy, “You don’t want to stay.”

………

He gives you a deeply mistrusting look and then his thumbs dig into your cheeks as he yanks you tight towards him. 

Not even time for you to—BLANK—you’re in clutches of uncontrollable desire; your heart lunches into your throat. It feels like a ship crashing as your lips meet.

Your impulsory senses too betray every right you spent the entire night fighting for, as your hands rise to his face, grasping it firmly to do the exact same thing Jaehyun is doing to you: keep him in place for you. 

Except for his velvety lips, nothing about the kiss is gentle. Yanking, pulling, and gasping. And the more you hold him in, the more your hands become careless and he makes you bleed as your palms nearly cut at the sharpest, softest edges of his jaw. You’re cut up, down, and in between. 

His tongue thrusts its way inside your mouth, savagely sucking away the transparent nectar that has just about begun to mingle. Fervor and tingling sensations shoot from up your spine and into your head and back down your chest as you moan at the heavy, wet sighs that come from his mouth. The spiraling of your energies is causing your noses to crash constantly. 

Continuous, continuous crashing. He’s a type you want to fully devour simply because he’s too ambitious to just let you get on top of him. It’s a dog-eat-dog right now. Just this insistent, indecent sound of lipsmacking, him cramming his feelings in through the gaps when they allow, his scorching cheeks under your palms, and him crushing you with energy. 

And Jaehyun hardly ever initiates kisses like this on his own. He’s often siding with soft, caressing kisses and daisy touches. So perhaps you do bring out the worst in him? Maybe you do mistake his gentleness for a lack of trust after all. Considering that your attitude during these arguments usually results in this pattern of kissing. 

Still, you’d be pleased to learn just how much he likes them too. How much he enjoys a little dominance race for it only to get so disproportionate and borderline that, by the end, surprisingly, somehow both of you come out same. Just... you’d be surprised to know how much, at his worst, he wants to triumph through passive control but secretly needs more of those who confront and challenge this behavior in him. And that’s either soothing each other’s fire or adding more. And while neither of these are evidence of perfection, love also lacks perfection. So it’s why he’s constantly gatekeeping; it’s safer this way and more easier.  

But here’s you—who constantly likes to demand these rawest gatekeeps out of him—that are his love, feelings, and vulnerability, and those are things that can be unnervingly frail and fracturable, so no wonder you terrify him.  

Things that ought to be handled with care. Which leads you both to the issue of a lack of mutual trust. While your ingrained insecurity makes you not trust him because he’s not cooperating, his ingrained doubt that you can handle those things with care makes him not trust you. Ultimately, the situation stems from a case of miscommunicated love and belief, which allows uncertainty to creep in.

But with the way you fight him in this kiss—in all such kisses, in fact, it’s as if you’re installing faith that you mean to get to the bottom of him,

just as he’s doing the same to you, with the force with which he’s kissing you  

But occasionally—sometimes it might be too late. Possibly too late if you don’t—

You moan, “Jaehyun,” hot, dazed, and frenzied, but trying to let him know it’s gotten so much as your hands stray from his stunning face and move to his chest in an attempt to push him. The kiss is but a bruising power struggle between you, with neither emerging victorious. It feels like a struggle for a final touch—your love on a battlefield. And the gore of it engulfs you as you’re drowning and sinking deeper. 

It’s a kiss that isn’t like the ones either of you’d eventually forget. It’s a bite, greedy, and all too real. And it seems to he’s forgotten how to stop. It carries on and on until you find yourself submerged in his hands as he sinks you to the sofa with his grip on your waist. 

At a sudden, violent fall, the couch gives way to a horrifying screech, and that’s about the only moment he pulls back for you both to catch a breath. In any case, you’re the most you’ve ever been under his possession—in his arms…

Yeah? And what about his waist… being strangled between your knees and in your mercy?

Right... Silence. 

Sat-up Jaehyun is pressing up against yours and his hands are pulling you closer still. However, the loss of balance slightly gives you a tad bit of a domineering look since, from this position, you look down at him, which is what both of you are all about—a hot mess of a dynamic. Something unanalysable.

Opening your eyes to confront Jaehyun’s after what just happened is an obvious fright. 

Certainly, it’d be yet another serial reminder that you’ve completed a full circle and are back at square one, failing yourself. But, as soon as you open your eyes, and you do open your eyes, all that helps give you the impression that now you two are coming in a full cycle is him and his dumbass dimples. Like, ‘Yes, We are so back!’

Yes… they’re very much sooo back. For someone who indeed makes it hard for you to make out if there’s velvet beneath all of that Rock or all rock under that velvety beauty, the majority of the time his dimples do blow away his cover. Their means is to say that he’s one tender being; more so, not everyone is blessed with dimples; this’s not to say that only special people have them, but it’s a fact of life. And he’s been entrusted to carry this gift, and he’s special, and you know this… and—is just—

That he’s made to contradict; it’s just a side quest of the whole scheme. His eyes seem to shimmer with a fleck of flame, one that feels inextinguishable but all the same kittenish and playful. Of course, you can expect him to get naughtier and act more roguish after a kiss like that. It’s as though someone has finally let him in like a cat through a door.

In case your heart wasn’t in a coma before, it is now.

There’s a faint rose on his cheeks, but what’s of explosive color are again his ears. Needless to say, you can also expect him not to want to address that, as it’s yet another cute, sinister way his body is designed to fail his mysterious self.

In the kiss, you were pretty much the worst enemy he has ever had, and now he’s back to being cute and wagging his tail around you. His angel-filled eyes and sinfully intoxicating, sweet lips effortlessly elicit a smile from you, which means he has overpowered your thirsty lips. Except now you do live along the coast surface of his exploited lips, even past them and inside, and that one fact is doing everything it’s supposed to do, turning you hot and bothered.

The kiss in itself has a strong, lingering aftertaste, just like his scent, and your fingers, nose, waist, and even your knees are the places where you can still feel him. Practically every area of your body has a throbbing pulse—one behind each ear, one on the left side of your neck, one on your right wrist, near veins, inner thighs, arch of your left foot, under your jaw... too many places… You feel like dying. Fuck…

It’s as though the kiss carried his potency, which now floats from neuron to neuron getting lost in your space until it’s drawn you into an empty corner; And you remain there, as sick in the head as you are for him, with your body being hotter than fire for him. You’re losing you again, piece by piece and second by second exactly the way he knew you would. 

For a moment his lips slightly part as if he were going to speak, but he stays silent. You too. Even if you were able to form a thought, it’d be buried in your throat, making it impossible for you to say anything. Rather, you allow this corrupted sensuality to speak for itself as it transmits between your tied bodies.

Your hand trembles a little as you let your fingers approach his face. And when they do land, it’s like touching morning dew; he’s as light as a summer mist. 

Feeling his skin, your eyes follow your fingers with precision as you take in every detail for the thousandth time, like a first time. His silken hair is in disharmony from the makeout so you go to fix that before moving your thumb along his brow to smooth out the mess there too. A plethora of bristly hairs, give or take, submit to your touch. And you look at them as though under a microscope, like a geek with a slight brow fetish, wishing to lick them. You’re obsessed with his eyebrows; if essence is everywhere, it’s also overwhelmingly there too.

But it’s true that you rather concentrate on anything tiny than give Jaehyun your undivided attention… All while he’s watching you and letting you do as you please. Though a heinous smirk does start to flicker across his lips, shifting from one corner to the other, and as soon as you finish adjusting his brow and perhaps are ready to proceed to something else, Jaehyun grabs your wrist, robbing you of your next action.

Bringing your hand lower, and adopting a much comfier, in truth, arrogant position by tilting his head back and resting it on the sofa, he separates your same ‘so generous thumb’, and slowly takes it inside his mouth. 

Heyyyyyyyyyyy—No warning, no fucking not—

You hiss, ready with your “F-” to cuss but bite and swallow the rest of it. Way louder ‘Fuck!Fuck!Fuck!’ stay rippling in your head though, as he takes the finger deeper and deeper and his eyes and lips share the same smile, and 

This m—

The man is too motherfucking happy to stop! That’s what it is. Causing you to frown and tie your brows fucking forever... 

As he coats your thumb in wet, your mouth feels incredibly parched. With every successive push forward to pull you back again, his cheek muscles contract, tense, relax, and hollow out, sucking you in.

Your vision gradually goes haywire, like sugar that has just begun to boil from clear to burnt. With every sensual fluff of his lashes, your heart caramelizes to a deep, rich brown. Between every pull, spit slides, feeling slimy on your skin and sticking like candy. You’re all soft inside, melted and gooey.

Pleasure mounts, and your body is fighting an awful war to stay strong but really it’s giving in. You swear he can feel every nuance of this self-conflict, down to the smallest tingle with each wrap of his tongue round your thumb. All the way down to your pounding heart and bouncing thoughts; All the way—

If it’s of consequence, you know that there’s a hard mental play going on, but now aren’t even in the right frame of mind to consider how much of one. 

Not when his other pair of digits slip beneath your shirt. Not when they trail down your spine like he’s trying to break it, pushing you into an arch. Not when—

You finally manage to drag out your finger from his mouth, sighing and pouting as you say, “J,” ready with something more to say but eventually it gets ripped off your head like anything else. 

Is this beautiful aware of the number of heartbreaks he has caused you?

No—No, can’t! Can’t be thinking about th—you shove aside that thought also and start lowering onto his face and feel his arm wrap tightly around you just below your ribcage, arching you even more into him. Your shirt gets caught in the same way as a theater curtain riding up, exposing more of your skin and he’s the only one seated for the show. A private poetry. 

His fingers graze each hollow space in your ribs, and the rest of the fabrics in between conceive a roughness that drives your skin into tears. The brain-twister is this: Are you tough and resistant, like the denim you wear?

Hmph, definitely not! That success you scripted, though, is over…

Motion generates friction; friction generates heat... your head is filled with smoke. There’s nothing you could possibly use in your head. All it’s made up there now is of abominable thoughts and smoke.

Clinging to his lips by only a few millimeters, you refuse him or yourself to let them come into contact still. Rather let yourself feel his breath on your face and get bruised up because of it. A pain of pleasuring in the company of pain. Yes, this is your self-inflicting prison. This prolonged, delayed intimacy, this sick turn-on... It’s just his rock falling into your heart again, like an ice cube that scuttles past grasping hands and obnoxiously skates into a whisky glass, making a splash out of you. 

Regardless of how crazy or subdued the evening gets, it’s all fucked eventually. It’s fucking messy. However, that’s just the way life is—he’s the only one who has ever told you, ‘It’s okay to be messy, baby… I’m on your side.’ 

Fucking irony… 

Dimly lit, the room is a depressing sight. Little red wine specks cover the couch, appearing to have fallen apart like the holes in some of his shirts. A silver zippo next to an empty ashtray that’s always left with just dust in it. Smudges stain the coffee table, and a pool of melancholy is created at the base of the candle, marking another stain as wax oozes and seeps down the sides. Its honeysuckle scent is so invasive, spreading like a disease in slow motion.

You’re worn down completely and irrevocably. Throwing your head back, a sigh rips from the pit of your stomach. The sound of your ribs snapping in half is like the cozy crackling sound of his record player, taking you back to the vinyl he played for you two weeks ago.

Warm. Pressing at the dip where your collarbones meet, his moist lips feel warm against your skin. And he’s taking his time this time around; his tongue is tamed along your collar line, if not overly lazy. It clings fragilely to your throat, choking you until breathing starts to feel more like a chore than a necessity—until you’re drowning from the carbon dioxide that’s swimming in your veins. 

You pull away for a second just to sail back into the black oily sea of his eyes, saving the sight for later in the week when it’s going to get tough. You both secretly tie to stave off the night for as long as possible but time is a human construct and will spill its numbers on the floor.

Petty, his fingernails dig into your waist on each side, and the tiny, pointy scrapes that pierce your flesh, accidentally trigger your inner underdog.

Mad! You’re not just mad, you’re furious. Angry at having to let him go. Selfish to lose him. You been knew… But, dear god, how are you to do you without him? How are you to subsist without measuring the cosmos in his hands every night before going to bed? And how are you to wake up without his warmth next to you every morning? Or rather that was the idea of you two(?) ​A dream you’ve constructed…

You seem pretty sincere in your uncertainty about what lies ahead for the two of you in the long run. What’s worse, you’re aggressive with it, agressive in your once again glossy eyes and directing them at him to harm him emotionally, physically... psychologically. Then again Jaehyun is repressing his anger internally and handling it as usual. Will deal with it later. He’s so polite with it. Elegant. Or as much as the circumstances permit.

Lightning strikes lightning again, and your entire body starts to tremble as if you’re under a high tide that the ocean has saved for this exact moment. This power he has over you... you call it love. One day, you’ll blink and he’ll be back. And you’ll be sure to wait for that day just like a moon in the sky that waits for nightfall. Is that foolish? It doesn’t concern you because nothing’s fair in love and war anyway. You loved him then, you love him now and you’ll love him forever. But the fact you have to store such lightning in a jar right now is a load of crap.

You dig your finger into his cheeks and lift his jaw in force, causing a slight twitch in your wrist that soon becomes a boiling fit of lust. With a tight jaw and a raised voice, you ask, “What next!!?”

A receipt, please!?

-Double entendres. 

-Double entendres. 

-Double entendres. 

A fleet of insinuations.

What’s next for you two? Where are you headed? But truthfully… For rea—

Smiling lazily in your palm, Jaehyun rolls his lower lip in confidence, and then, all of a sudden, you’re holding bread with scrumptious, detailed dips on both sides.

Feeling a sense of accomplishment in advance of what he’s going to say, his eyes remain fixed on you as he hooks his fingers into the black hair tie that’s been lonesomely hanging around your wrist all this time. Your hand is then gradually forced away from his face so he can take it as he yanks sensually and slowly at it. Dark, luscious flirtation loads every agonizing drag. There’s a crazy calm in his eyes.

‘What’s next?’

The timbre in his voice is enough to smoke you. 

Smirking, “Anything I want.”

A silencer that makes a whisper of the gunshot. A gun which no hunter has it at all… Yeah, there’s not a gun whose sound sounds kind, but there is—

his voice, he

Your face goes momentarily expressionless, and your nostrils flare at the comment. Not only do you not believe what you’re hearing, but you find him puzzling to the point of offense. You give a mild shake, press your lips to your nose in annoyance, and reach over the left side of the couch to retrieve the ‘Hysteric’ cap he tossed earlier, intending to really smack it of his face. 

But when you do swing it, blurting, “Sometimes, I hate both of us,” Jaehyun lets out an adorable laugh and clutching your wrist in time. 

Warming your cheeks, the sun shines straight in your face. His laugh is everything good in this world. In his puffy-eyed smile, comfort springs eternally, much like light. This man alone starts spring. 

He teasingly remarks, “Sometimes…” meaning… not alw— 

His hands reach over your shoulders and he pulls you in again, gathering your hair at the back for ‘no other’ reason than to use that hair tie... 

In the newly created intimacy, his eyes dart over every feature of your face as if he’s soaking it all in like the last golden hours of summer, and in gratitude, his smile gently strokes over each of these details with attractive happiness. He’s a generous artist, and you know this too… Is just—

Quickly, your noses start to collide with every failed attempt he makes to deal with the hair because the more he tries, the more he—

Lip-cuts over cheeks and incessant whines of ‘I can do it. No, you— I can!’s muffled behind ears like long-kept secrets.

“Just give up,” you smile.

“Nuh-uh…” he fights as he tries and tries, “I can’t,” and sporting a damped smile in the bends of your neck. 

To get you where he wants you, every one of his failed ‘hair tie’ attempts is the most phony innocence ever imagined. His lips leave a trail of light, giggly kisses along the ridge of your shoulder, compelling your own hands to work their way up his shoulders, into his nape, and then into his hair. 

Eventually, his hands become less firm and give up, causing his fingers to thread down your hair, yet he still assures you, “Mmmmh… I can do it... 

… For real, though.”

It aches the way he does that! His low voice whispers… Marking you for disaster. A feral panic. The urges his voice alone has conjured up in you long to break free.

Tracing his eyes connect the dots between your goosebumps, your eyes, and your brain, strips you of your body. He’s touching every nerve ending, every inch, and every brainwave. Intimacy is a weird state to be in—too much of it and it ruthlessly takes out everything but the moment. 

The calmness that follows an anxious fury.

The holy restoration of what remains untainted.

You are connected—you and him. Now. Just now, in the history of time itself... 

And if you’re going to kiss him next, it has to unpeel. It needs to undress. It has to lay bare every feeling he fears and strip any hard shell he wears. It has to burn from muscle to bone. A tongue that maps out any doubt, lets it stick to it, and then crushes it under its weight. Exhaust every bad memory. Even so powerful to kill every terrible remembrance. His defenses have to go. They could crawl beneath the sofa and hide there like defeated demons.

Sure, art is hiding behind one pretense or another, but surely it can’t be for all times? 

Hidden feelings, like hidden things, can’t stay hidden, for finding them is where all the whole beauty lies.

You know Jaehyun loves watching you watch him. But sometimes, that’s really difficult. 

You’re at your last grasp for air but still manage to do that; reaching through your hair to his still-tangled hand, you bring it to your lips and gently plant a long kiss on the veiny outer palm.

The unusualness of it; your eyes on his; your mouth there lingering...

Although Jaehyun’s expression suggests it’s something he didn’t expect, it’d be mild to say he’s shocked. When he doesn’t smile for the first time, you want to smile because you find the confusion in his running, empathetic eyes adorable. 

It came with no warning. He had no idea it’d tingle and rush to his center as it does.

Feeling with your other hand on his chest, the ‘silent word of truth’ races his heartbeat.

-

Let’s stop the complications. Let’s do that...

No more wrong, no more selfish, no more too stubborn to keep it a secret…

Let’s

You’re left stroking the space between his thumb and index finger, and in your eyes, this far into the night, your love is the only act of violence. The way he actually robs you of yourself should be studied. Your ‘whole purpose of earlier’ seems to be being yanked out of you and placed neatly in the ‘For later’ compartment.

Jaehyun’s looking at you, aroused in the right place, your head—The smoke’s not cleared, and guess what—he loves to go there,

-

… But perhaps you have your own sneaky way of doing the same…

-

After the hand kiss, his eyes are narrow... wary, like when he can’t read something from a distance. As if he’s in a slump. Spacing out… Comprehending… Perhaps he’s too late to realize...

To help him ‘see’ better, you brush the strands out of his way. Along with the way you subtly rip the corner of your lip, it makes it sound a little shady when you softly ask, “What is it?”

He smiles shyly as he says, “Coome oon,” dragging the word a little and even breaking eye contact, looking downward.

Huh, what is it? Is his shirt print suddenly so interesting!??

Just like he won’t sometimes, you won’t elaborate now either. Not saying anything, the time has come when you get to raise an eyebrow. Getting back his attention, you run a finger down his shirt, feeling the fabric give away to some hard, toned abs. They serve him nothing now...

He’s visibly altered, something you can clearly fucking see.

‘What is it?’ —

The question hangs over him, forcing a deep, deep breath out of him. He then takes hold of your face. His fingertips tap firmly, like an anchor to the sea, landing the skin behind your ear. You can’t be moved by anything other than him. Just-

him.

Flowers sprout from his palm immediately. Their vines snake their way up your legs. And those sweet notes in his voice!?

Nothing quite compares...

“I know you know...”

“Know what… Yun-o?”

-

© 𝟭-𝟰𝟵. do not copy, translate, repost, and modify my works.

[ganondoodle]

since i have seen this argument pop up again and again and now its used to defend the minecraft movie

i really hate the argument that something, be it a movie or a game, can be as shitty as it wants when its primarily aimed at kids (or people THINK it is aimed mostly at kids) bc its 'just for kids'

like children are lesser an stupid? like they arent incredibly impressionable and deserve good movies? im not saying they should only watch critical acclaimed drama movies, but you can make a movie 'for kids' AND make it good, its been done before, sure there will always be shit movies, and thats fine, but dismissing any kind of criticism towards them bc "its just for kids" feels so unecessarily mean spirited towards children, like they are little people in wildly different stages of development!! they can think too!!

'kids' itself is such a wide range that i feel its not very useful as a category anyway, a 5 year old isnt the same as an 11 year old, both of them should get good things, and both can watch or play things they may not completely understand yet! i grew up with shrek, and while a big parody and haha fart humor movie, they (1+2) have an incredibly strong core, i didnt udnerstand them fully when i was little, so what? i still enjoyed them, i felt more connected to them than any disney movie (bc hey .. the monster is the main guy and no they dont all turn into conventionally pretty humans as the ultimate reward- i felt othered throughout my life too) and i still do, theres jokes and themes and meaning i understood fully only when i was rewatching them as an adult, i still enjoy them even at 27

and like, shouldnt it ESPECIALLY matter what children watch? (not in the puritan brain worm way) bc they are ... people in development?? do you think if they just sit down and watch shitty movies and play games that dont challenge them at all, be it thinking critically or emotionally, all day it wont have an affect on them??

(im sorry to bring up totk again, but that 'its for kids' argument has been used to defend it so much too, and its so incredibly annoying to me, ah yes, its puzzles are all skippable or easy as shit bc its main target are kids and children are stupid and shouldnt be challenged ever, the story is a simple fairytale type deal maybe to you, but contains alot of harmful stereotypes that have led to real world harm and its repeated unquestionably while offering nothing intersting to think or engage with, theres a reason alot of childrens media contains alot of stereotypes to propaganda even but its just for kids of course its not propaganda bc kids are stupid and cant understand that lol BECAUSE they are so impressionable, if a series 'for kids' only lets the girls be in frilly pink dresses and do 'girly' stuff do you not think that wil affect how they think about themselves??

if they keep seeing the light skinned blonde heroe stab the unquestioned evil arab stereotype bc he wants to take over your holy land bc hes just 'evil' and is never ever humanized in any way and only presented as a monster, while the good little maiden princess does everything she can to support her hero in shiny armor with big sad doe eyes and pretty little white dress- do you not think it will affect them? if it were an isolated incidence perhaps not much, but its a stereotype perpetuated to such a degree that you think its just 'how fairytales go'? yeah, you have been influenced by these portrayals, they are working as intented- and if they are used as such in media without the writer intending to influence you that way? thats even worse bc it means it has been so normalized to think that way people dont even realize it- while alot of real people in the world are ganondorf, they are demonized and dehumanized, others think of them as inherently evil.. but its just a "simple fairytale"

yes i know children can also question things on their own, but you shouldnt assume that comes naturally and then also in just the correct way, i questioned why i was just doing whatever the talking boat told me to do when i first played windwaker as a kid, but more bc i liked how ganondorf looked and hated being told things to do without a good reason being given (autism much?), 'evil' didnt do it for me, but that doesnt mean i knew he was an evil arab stereotype, i didnt like tetra turning white as zelda, bc i thought she looked cooler before and i didnt like 'girly' things myself, not bc i knew it was whitewashing

-not saying media should be free of anything 'problematic', the problem is how its presented and never questioned or engaged with critically and then that stupid argument being used to dismiss it like children are both unable to think and not influencable somehow-)

[justmeinadaze]

Aftercare: Roleplay (Steddie X You)

A/N: I am not ok 🫠 God this was fun to write lol Enjoy <3

Warnings: Dom Steddie and Sub reader, Stalker style role-play so rough language and smut, degradation, slapping, some knife play (they rip off her clothes, the don't cut her), dirty talk, choking, spanking, restraint, and of course wonderful aftercare with fluff near the end.

If this isn't your kind of thing dont continue to read! It is consensual and the reader does allow them permission to do this but the role-play is played out like it isn't. NOTE I would NEVER write a version of these boys who wouldn't stop if Y/N said the safe word.

Word Count:3304

“I will never understand why you guys like that crap.”, Steve whines as you three walk out of the theater.

“Oh, come on, Stevie. Scary movies just make you feel more alive you know?” You jump around them enthusiastically making them swoon. 

Since you three had started your relationship, they noticed a big difference in you; mostly you were a lot happier. Your smile rarely left your face especially when they came home from work. 

“This coming from the guy who put stalking her in his roleplay notes.”, Eddie chuckled. 

“Seriously, I was surprised when I read how turned on it made you.”

“Why?”

“I mean, you? Being all scary stalker intimidating? Eddie, oh yeah. But you, baby? You don’t even like the genre.”

“I feel challenged…”, Steve playfully glares at you as you guys make it to his car. 

“Maybe it is.”, you reply coyly. 

“Are we really doing this?”, Eddie claps. “Yay!”

“But you can see him scaring and intimidating you?” The boy chuckles as he points towards his friend. 

“What’s wrong, Daddy? Don’t think you can do it?” His whole posture changes as he stands to his full height. “I’ll make you both a deal. You have free reign to play out your little horror movie stalker fantasy anyway you see fit. No matter what you do or when you do it, I’ll play along.”

You were toying with him, trying to rile him up. You knew they could both be intimidating because you felt it when you dropped into your headspace. Hell, even when they weren’t being rough with you, the gentle aftercare had a power dynamic that made you feel small in a good way. If anyone even tried to hurt you, they would make them pay. 

That being said, imagining them turning that intimidation on you in this way, had your pussy clenching. You were desperate to feel the full force of what they could wield so you continued to poke the bear. 

“Honestly, though, I see myself laughing more than anything.”

Steve blinked down at you as his gorgeous smile began to fade, his jaw tightening in a way you had never seen before. His eyes locked with yours as he slowly stepped forward, knocking into you with his chest. You tried to plant your feet to keep him from moving you but he was too strong. You stumbled slightly till your back hit his car; both his arms gradually coming up to place his palms on either side of you blocking you from going anywhere. You swallowed nervously as his face leaned down to meet your own, biting your lip to hide the moan as his nose grazed your cheek. 

“I guess we’ll have to see won’t we, honey?”, he murmured in a gruff tone. Suddenly, he kissed your forehead, releasing you from his blockade as he opened the door for you with that signature Harrington smile. “Get in, babe. Let’s go home.”

#################

Two weeks had passed and nothing had happened. You thought maybe they had forgotten about it or after planning it decided they no longer wanted to play that game. You were slightly disappointed but didn’t want to push them into anything that may make them uncomfortable so you three continued your relationship like normal. 

Today had been a particularly rough day at work and you couldn’t wait to get home to relax with the boys. When you entered the apartment however, everything was silent. After looking at the stove clock, you gnawed your bottom lip in worry. It was after 9pm and even if Steve worked a late shift, they were both home by now. 

As soon as you picked up the cordless to dial Family Video and the record store to check on them, the phone came to life in your hand. 

“Hello?”

“Hey! Oh, shit. I think I dialed the wrong number.”

“Steve? What are you doing? Where are you guys?”

“Fuck. I already fucked this up. Eddie and I were going to do the stalker thing tonight. Jesus! Ed, I’m so sorry, man.”

You giggle when you hear Eddie grumble something at his friend. “It’s ok, Daddy. You guys can always try again.” The handle of the front door began to jiggle. “Did you forget your key?”

“What do you mean, babe?”

“You’re trying to come in, right?”

“No? Eddie and I in the car outside.” You freeze just as your hand reaches for the knob as it jiggles again. “Baby? Is someone trying to get in?!”

Loud pounding startles you as you shriek in surprise. 

“D-D-Daddy? Sir?”

Steve snickers as the banging gets louder, your heart pounding with fear. You’ve completely dropped in and they know it to. 

“IS someone trying to get in, little girl? I promise if you open the door now my friend and I will go easier on you.”

“I-I’m not afraid of you.”

“Hm but you will be. Now be a good girl and open the door.”

“No.”

“Your call.”

The phone abruptly disconnects as you drop it and run to your bedroom. The front door flies open as soon as you find a hiding space under your bed. Covering your mouth to stifle the fear in your throat, your eyes widen as you see two sets of boots wonder into the living room. 

“Where the fuck is she?”, Eddie growls. “Come on, pretty girl! Don’t make this harder than it has to be!”

“No, Ed. This is fun. Little girl wants to play hide and seek.” 

You watch as they split up to search for you starting with their own rooms before stalking towards yours. You hold your palm over your mouth tighter as you listen to them talk. 

“You really think she’s stupid enough to hide in here?”

“Of course, she is.” The bed dips down as Steve takes a seat. “God, I can’t wait to find her though. I’m going to fuck her so hard she won’t be able to walk straight for a week.”

“I love your ambition, Harrington. As long as I can cum down her throat, I’m happy.”

“Do you think we should let her cum to?”

“Oh of course. Sluts like her fucking grip your dick hard when they cum. It feels so fucking good.”, Eddie sighs in pleasure at the thought. “We won’t be able to do any of that until we find her though. Which actually reminds me…”

The boy abruptly drops on his heels, tilting his head to the side as he finds your frightened frame. “Hey, little one. I guess you’re right, Steve. She IS that stupid.”

You yelp as you feel hands roughly grab your ankles and pull you out from under the bed. Fingers yank back on your hair and lift you to your knees. “I don’t know why you even bother hiding, baby. You know one way or another we are going to take what’s ours. You just make it harder with all this foreplay.”

Eddie leans down, wrapping his hand around your throat as he smirks. “What’s the matter, little girl? I thought you said you were going to be laughing.”

He tugs you to your feet and you immediately push against him with your hands, trying to pull yourself free from his grasp. Your hand collides with his cheek and he responds by slapping you harder before throwing you onto the mattress. 

“Oh! Baby girl likes to play rough! We can do rough, honey.”

Steve unbuckles his belt and while Eddie holds your arms above your head, the other boy ties it around your wrists. You freeze when you feel cold steel touch you face. 

“Don’t. Move.”, the metalhead growls. 

He grabs your shirt aggressively in his fist as he cuts it and your pants off your body with the knife before passing it to Steve. Gripping your throat again, he slides his fingers between your folds into your dripping core. 

“I should have known you’d fucking enjoy this. No panties and you’re soaked…such a fucking whore.” Eddie releases your throat to lightly smack your face again. “Keep your legs open!”

Your eyes roll back as his fingers thrust into you at a fast pace as the sound of your slick fills the room. He abruptly pulls his digits out of your pussy, hitting you between your legs before rolling you on to your stomach. 

He pumps into you again, pushing three fingers in making you groan at the stretch. Steve kneels by your face and roughly yanks your hair. “Look at yourself.”, he commands as he points to your full-length mirror in the corner of your room. “Look at how much you’re enjoying this.”

Your eyes squeeze shut as you feel the coil about to snap but his hand aggressively pinches your cheeks as he shouts next to your face. “Open your fucking eyes and look! Watch yourself cum on his fucking fingers, you dirty slut! Allowing two strangers to take you so easily. You enjoy this don’t you? Tell me!”

“I-I like this…fuck… I’m…”

“That’s right, pretty girl. There you go.”, Eddie coos as he slaps your ass. Steve continues to grip your cheeks, holding your head towards the mirror as came.

Your head fell against the sheets, trying to catch your breath as Eddie climbed off the bed to remove his clothes. His friend rose to his feet, lifting your hips so your ass was in the air. The metalhead jumped back onto the mattress, spanking you again as he leaned down to spit into your cunt.

As he started to push himself inside you, you began to crawl away feeling overwhelmed by the intense pleasurable feeling of just his tip alone. 

“Where the fuck are you going?” Eddie’s hands roughly gripped your hips as he held you in place. “Stevie, you want to help me here?”

Steve grabbed your hair, sliding his jeans and boxers down his legs. 

“Open.”, he commands, tugging on your hair when you don’t comply. “Open your fucking mouth!” 

Eddie uses the distraction to sheath himself inside of you and as you gasp at the intrusion Steve shoves his cock in your mouth. 

“Why do you fight it, honey? You know you’re loving this, right, Ed?” The man smacks your behind and you moan around the other boy’s length. “Fuck that feels so fucking good.”

“Jesus, Y/N.”, Eddie grunts. His chest falls against your back as his hand grips your throat. “You like being used by us, don’t you? You tell us no but your pussy doesn’t fucking lie. You’re making a mess all over my cock right now.”

Steve holds your head against him as you gag; Eddie grinding his hips harder against yours. The man steps back as the metalhead tugs you to your knees against him, gripping your throat tighter. 

“Tell me, baby. Tell me you love way my cock feels.”

“I-I-I… fuck…I love the way…your cock feels.”

“Cum for me. Show me how much you love my dick tearing you open.” Your eyes shut as you throw your head back against his shoulder, tremble against him as you cum. “Good-Good girl. Now—mmm—get that pretty mouth ready because I’m going to…to cum down your throat and your… going to fucking swallow it like a good slut.”

He pushes your lower half back down against the bed, pumping into you roughly. Abruptly, he pulls out of you, flipping you on to your back, and straddles your face with his knees placed on either side. After shoving his cock into your mouth, he thrusts his hips till you feel his seed hit your tongue. “Swallow!” You flash him your tongue showing him you had done what he asked. 

As soon as he climbed off you, Steve tugged on your ankles bringing you closer to him. Your body twitches as he glides the head of his cock through your dripping folds, chuckling when you moan as he circles it around your clit. 

“Do you want my dick, baby?”

“Y-yes, please.”

He leans over your fucked out frame and smacks your face before gripping it between his fingers. “I can’t fucking hear you, little girl. Louder.”

“Yes, Steve, please!”

A cocky smile spread along his lips as he breaches your entrance. True to his word, he thrust into you at an almost animalist pace, hitting every sensitive spot inside you and then some having you see stars. 

His chest fell to yours as sloppily kissed your lips, continuing to roll his hips into yours. 

“This pussy belongs to us. No one else can fucking have you.”

You whimpered when you felt the belt on your wrists tighten and the cold steel of the knife brush against your cheek. 

“Because if anyone else even tries to take you away from us, we’ll make them regret it.”, Eddie grins as he hovers over your face before kissing your lips as well. 

Steve pushes up on his hands as he pounds into you harder, feeling your pussy clench around him. Your back arches and the metalhead quickly covers your mouth with his palm as you cum harder than you ever had before.

A sarcastic smirk flickered across his face as his forehead fell against yours. “Beg me to cum inside you, honey.”

“Pl-please, cum inside of me.”

His fingers come to wrap around your throat again as his eyes penetrate yours angrily. “Make me believe it, little girl.”

“Please, Steve. I-I-I want you to fill me up. I need it, PLEASE!”

Steve’s eyes closed as he released you, his head falling to the side as his thrusts became sloppier and you felt him warm your insides. 

Your eyes shut as you nestled your nose against into his hair. Hands gently held your arms as they removed the belt from around your wrist. Lips tenderly kissed their way up your limbs to your shoulder before Eddie’s much softer voice filled your ear. 

“You did so well, sweetheart. Our beautiful girl. There’s no rush here. Take your time and whenever you’re ready we’re going to take a bath, ok?”

“Can I…have some water?”, you ask in hoarse voice. 

“Yeah, baby. Of course. I’ll be right back.”

You wince as you feel Steve pull out of you, rolling to your side as he props himself on his elbow and delicately brushes some stray hairs out of your damp, sweaty face.

“Did I convince you that I could be ‘scary stalker intimidating’?”

You giggle as your eyes open to meet his. “Yeah, you did. You BOTH surprised me actually.”

“Alright, sweetheart. Sit up and drink this.”

They held on to you as you shakily raised yourself to a seated position. “Can, um, would you mind…”

Eddie smiles as he brings the bottle to your lips and slowly tips it back. As soon as you finish, he passes the rest to his friend who chugs it back before placing it on your bedside table.

“I’m ready for that bath now.”

“Good cause you smell.”, he teases as you laugh at him. 

Steve grins as he runs ahead of you both to get it ready. Eddie lifts you into his arms and you keen into his neck as you both wait. The man lowers you in carefully before they join you and you happily sigh as they clean your aching body. 

You notice someone is lingering at your wrists a while and turn to find the metalhead massaging the imprints the belt had left in your skin. 

“Did you like it, Y/N? We were a little nervous when planning this because we didn’t want to trigger something for you by hitting you too hard or anything.”

“We figured though you would use the safe word if you were uncomfortable.”, Steve follows as he leans back against the porcelain. 

“Yeah, no, I liked it a lot. I think what helped push me there was thinking Harrington actually fucked up.” You laugh as they chuckle along with you. “Um, I, thank you for…hearing me about…not being too violent. If you had tried to cut me, I probably would have used the safe word.”

“Honey, you don’t have to thank us for something like that.”

“And we would never hurt you like that. We aren’t really into that kind of thing either. We thought about using a fake knife but we thought it added to the scene if we could tear off your clothes which, by the way, I will buy you a new outfit tomorrow.”

“Oh, Eddie, baby. You don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t HAVE to. I want to.” You beam up at him as you kiss his cheek. 

“Did you two like it? Stevie?”

“I did. I…like watching you…submit to me. To us.” 

A shaky moan leaves your chest at his words. “Yeah? What else did you like?”

“I loved feeling your pussy drip all over me.”, Eddie whispers in your ear.

Your finger glide between your legs as you rub them against your clit.

“I still love the way those big, beautiful eyes look up at me when I fuck you.” Steve leans forward till his nose grazes yours. 

“Oh and that little voice you like so much, man. Hearing you tell me you love the way my cock splits you open…”

“That’s right, Ed. The precious, tiny, submissive voice reminding us that she knows what’s ours.”

Steve replaces your fingers with his thumb as he plays with your nub while Eddie sucks on your neck. 

“Who does your pussy belong to, baby?”

“Fuck…you two. M-my pussy and body are yours.” Your breath hit his lips as you pant out moans. “I love you both so much.”

He leans forward, connecting his mouth with your own as you came. One of your arms reached up to wrap around the other boy’s neck as you pulled his lips to your own. 

Steve rose to his feet bringing you with him as Eddie followed. He ran the towel obnoxiously through your hair making you laugh as he smiled down at your gorgeous face. “I love you to, honey. Did you want to watch a movie tonight? Maybe something light.”

“That’s no fun.”, Eddie grinned as he pushed his old high school Hellfire shirt over your head and you held onto his shoulders as you stepped into your panties. “We also bought some quick made meals for tonight so you don’t have to wait too long for dinner.”

“Good because I’m starving.” 

The boy kisses your forehead starting to head for the kitchen before he pauses and turns back to kiss your lips. “I love you to.”, he chuckles as he runs off to complete his task. 

Steve picks you up and places you on the couch. 

“How about Back to the Future?”, you ask and he smiles at your suggestion. 

Eddie jumps over the back of the couch and hands you a bowl of microwavable food they know you like. Thanking him, you sling your legs over his lap as Steve comes to sit beside you so you can lean against him. Halfway through the movie, the metalhead lays down and hugs your legs to his chest as you play with his hair. Laughing when you hear soft snores, you turn to Steve so you both could tease him only to find he had fallen asleep to. His arm was draped over your chest as his head hung back over the sofa. 

You felt like you wanted to cry as ran your hands delicately over them both. You had spent most of your dating life in and out of awful relationships. How had you been so blinded to the two men right in front of you? 

Smiling to yourself, you closed your eyes and fell asleep in their embrace wishing you could pause this moment so the three of you could stay like this forever.

[eustasskidagenda]

hello im so excited that your ask box is open and youre taking requests! i dont request things often, so this might be a but of a weird concept, and i apologize if its too detailed. however the idea literally wont leave me alone. orz;;

maybe eustass kid has a crush on a somewhat reserved reader whose slow to open up and he hasnt quite realized thats what hes feeling until they stop on an island and meet readers childhood friend. they show a whole new side of themself with said friend by laughing openly, making stupid jokes, being much more physically affectionate. basically reader acts close with an old friend and kid gets jealous about it.

i dont mind if you do a oneshot, drabble, or headcanon, im just curious about your thoughts on this :3 thank you so much and i hope you have a great day!

Hello dear anon! Sure, I'm always happy to write for my pookie. It was fun to write, and it makes me smile a bit because Kid is such a mess, I love this angry tulip. Hope it will match your expectations. ☆

☆Kid with a s/o slow to open up

CW : g/n reader, a bit of cursing but fluff overall

WC : 700

Kid has always been loud. Whenever he's angry, he needs to shoot at someone. What can he say? His heart is filled with emotions, boiling and exploding like a thousand sparks. That's why you're a mystery. Always calm. Not letting others know what's on your mind. What makes you so quiet? He can't tell. 

Just like the moon and the sun, you are polar opposites. And yet, as the sun always chases the moon, he's always looking after you. And he's everything, but not discreet. Asking loudly for almost all of his crew what they think about you and why you are so reserved. 

Sure, he's used to introverted folks. Killer is one of them. But here's the difference: he can second-guess every word, thought, and breath of his best friend. He could probably achieve all of his sentences. And even through the mask, Kid could also guess the exact expression on Killer's face. 

Killer, who is likely aware that Kid has a small crush on you.

Kid is genuinely frustrated. Loudly frustrated, obviously. He needs to feel in control of everything and hates when he doesn’t have a full-understanding. Usually, he fails to notice reserved people because he's taking all the attention. But there's something about you: your slight smiles, the flash in your eyes, the way you're always listening to others but never talk about yourself. He can't tell why, but it keeps his mind alert. 

Perhaps you pose a bit of a challenge. Kid would never give two flying fucks about you if you were easy to see through. He's always looking after you because you're still a mystery. Sure, at the beginning, it was just to try to figure out who you really are. But now, it turned into something bigger. He hasn't noticed it yet, that’s all. Kid sucks with feelings. Feelings are actually something he hates because they make him feel weak. It puts his loved one in danger. Showing your weaknesses to enemies is a foolish move, Kid knows that perfectly.

However, everything is about to change. He decided to stop on that island for the day. For the first time, you asked to avoid robbery or harming anyone around. 

"Ugh, we're pirates, y/n" Kid doesn't want to look like a nice guy. He's a tough, rude pirate. He has a reputation to uphold. For him, the only good way to open a path is by violent means. Kindness? For what? If he's still alive today, it's because he toughened up and decided to never show mercy to anyone. 

"Fine, fine, I won't kill those people." Heavy sighs. But he wants to understand. He needs to understand. And finally, he's about to understand. 

Because suddenly, you're smiling heartily and running towards those scumbag strangers. What. The. Fuck. It's like seeing the sun after an eternity of blizzards and grey clouds. You're a bright light, a true sunshine. A burst of joy. You're joking, laughing, talking, and talking a lot. You never said more than two sentences in front of him, and now you're chatting endlessly with those strangers and hugging all of them. 

He's pissed off. Are those random people with terrible sense of style and ugly make-up better than him? The great Eustass "Captain" Kid? No way. 

"Guys, here's my captain, Kid. Kid, here are my childhood best friends."

Kid's face is a mess of angry scowls and boiling with frustration when they say hello. Why aren't you smiling as warmly when you're with him? Why is his heart pounding so hard, almost painfully in his chest? And damn, is it the cold or are his cheeks completely red? 

Poor Kid is both flushed and flustered. His first reflex is always exploding when he feels something. "Do you have a problem with me?" Barking through gritted teeth. 

He's ruining the happy-shitty mood and he doesn't care. 

So now, try to explain that you don't have a problem with him. Good luck, he's very stubborn. But once he's more or less calmed (because he's still pissed off), he still can't understand why his heart is racing at the sight of your soft, warm smile.

He wants to see that side of you more often. He wants to be part of those privileged people allowed to know the real you.

Yes, maybe he has a crush on you.

[jovialmoonprincess]

AU: Journey to Redemption (Part 3)

First Part. / The Winter Ball / Champagne Problems

Coriolanus Snow x Fem!reader 

Summary: Y/N, a young idealist in Panem, dreams of making a difference in a post-war society. As the winner of the prestigious Plinth Prize is about to be announced, a mysterious woman unveils a grim fate for Coriolanus Snow, Y/N's nemesis. Offered a chance to alter destiny, Y/N must navigate her conflicting emotions and intervene in pivotal moments to prevent Snow's descent into darkness. The story unfolds against the backdrop of complex relationships, past connections, and the challenges of a changing world, as Y/N grapples with the responsibility of shaping an unexpected destiny and challenging the very fabric of fate.

Warning(s): None, enemy to lovers, back in time, destiny, Snow being in love, Snow being Snow, possible grammar and spelling mistakes

A/N: First Fic EVER, dont be mean pls. Also Im not a english native speaker, sorry for any spelling errors. Feedback is appreciated! Follow or like (or both) for part 4!

The last dance before the Plinth Award engulfed Y/N in a whirlwind of emotions that transported her to a distant past. She didn't expect to see Coryo at the party, as he had become a dedicated student and rarely attended social events. Nonetheless, she decided to seize the opportunity to approach him before the games, especially after glimpsing Snow's future in the hands of the mysterious woman.

Her gaze found Coryo on the other side of the room, and her heart raced. He looked different from the last time she saw him, unhinged while shooting birds in the forest. Y/N knew that if there was a chance to change the grim fate she foresaw, she would do everything in her power to save the boy. With determination, she headed towards him. Her dress, not as dazzling as four years ago, was a simple one, reflecting her current situation. Y/N no longer wanted to blend in with those people; she wanted to stand out. Her dress lacked sparkle, a simple white dress with loose sleeves. As she approached, she focused intensely on Coryo. "Y/N?" The sweetness of the sound of her name contrasted with the not-so-friendly expression in his eyes. He seemed surprised and perhaps confused by her presence.

"I thought you didn't like social situations," Y/N teased, initiating the typical banter between the two.

"I could say the same about you," Coryo retorted, displaying the familiar banter between them.

"Coryo, I wanted to wish you luck at the Plinth Award. I know how hard you fight for it." Y/N curtsied with her dress, trying to show sincerity. However, suspicion lingered in Coryo's eyes. The past few years had been marked by fights and tense interactions between the two.

It was at this moment that Clemensia Dovecote appeared next to Snow, intertwining her arm with his. An inconvenient presence that added more tension to the encounter.

"What are you doing here? Trying to win a crumb from your future president?"

"Clemensia, I don't remember addressing you," Y/N cut in, trying to maintain composure.

"Do you really think you look good today?" Clemensia mocked, laughing ironically. "You may have money, but wow, you need a stylist." Y/N, experienced in dealing with unpleasant criticisms, laughed, making it clear that such comments did not affect her.

"It seems like you're practicing to be a fashion critic now, Clemensia."

"Clemensia," Coriolanus was trying to prevent what would happen next.

"I'm just surprised that someone like you is trying to stand out. Usually, you're so... invisible," Clemensia continued, her voice dripping with superiority.

Y/N took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "Well, it's good to change things up once in a while. And as for you, Clemensia, what brought you to the ball? Isn't it more fun spending your parents' money on ugly bags?" The provocation hit Clemensia, but she kept her composure. 

"Just enjoying what life in the Capital has to offer. Unlike some around here who seem not to fit into such luxury." Clemensia's words were sharp, and Y/N knew she was just trying to undermine her confidence. However, she wouldn't let it shake her. 

"Ah, I understand. Sometimes it's hard for some people to grasp that there's more to life than just appearances and superficialities."

Clemensia cast a disdainful look at Y/N before shrugging. "Each to their own, right? Good luck trying to get Coriolanus's attention." With that, the girl "accidentally" bumped into a waiter serving someone nearby. Three glasses of champagne landed on the white dress, leaving Y/N with a mix of feelings, from anger to the determination not to be shaken by empty provocations.

The brief interlude with Clemensia was not what Y/N expected for the night; now she was unsettled, wet, and smelling of alcohol.

It was then that Sejanus Plinth approached, interrupting the tense moment. Her plan to approach Snow that night was thwarted, but Sejanus's friendly presence brought unexpected relief.

"Y/N, you look beautiful," Sejanus complimented with a gentle smile and a small handkerchief that would at least help reduce the dress's dampness. She returned the smile, grateful for the friendly gesture.

"Dance with me?" Sejanus invited. Y/N silently agreed, accepting the offer, defeated. The awkward moment with Clemensia and the initial frustration were temporarily forgotten as she engaged in a relaxed dance among friends. 

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"It's impossible for you to be okay after what happened," Sejanus directed a compassionate look. "Who needs fashion designers when you can have an accidental stylist like Clemensia?" Y/N laughed. The echo, however, reverberated in Snow's thoughts, casting shadows over what once seemed like a complication-free night. The ball now became a complex piece of an enigma that only time would unravel.

"I don't want to ruin your outfit; it looks expensive." The girl sighed, trying to keep her distance.

"Yours does too, and Clemensia didn't think twice before trying to destroy it," Sejanus brought her closer during the dance. Y/N smiled; the altruism in the boy was evident. Even with a lot of money, he always tried to be fair and helpful to everyone around him.

While they danced, the shared glances and conspiratorial smiles between Sejanus and Y/N did not go unnoticed. Snow, watching from afar, felt an uncomfortable knot forming in his stomach. The sight of Y/N in Sejanus's arms, laughing freely, triggered a strange and unsettling sensation. In the midst of the dance, Sejanus guided Y/N with graceful skill. The lightness of the moment contrasted with the complexity of emotions unfolding in Snow's mind. He wondered if the smile Y/N shared with Sejanus was different from the one she offered him.

As the music came to an end, Sejanus and Y/N exchanged a thankful glance and bid farewell with a polite gesture. Snow, observing the friendly closeness between the two, felt a twinge of uncertainty and discomfort. 

Y/N returned to the secluded spot, and Sejanus stepped away to greet other guests. Snow, determined to overcome the uncomfortable feeling enveloping him, approached Y/N with a forced attempt at indifference.

"Apparently, you found an excellent dance partner," he commented, his eyes concealing a tension he himself tried to understand. Y/N looked at him, a playful smile playing on her lips.         

"Sejanus is a great friend. You should try dancing with him." Far from calming Snow, the response only heightened his uncertainty. The remainder of the night passed with a tense atmosphere between them, and while Y/N and Sejanus shared moments of friendship, Snow pondered the complexities of his own emotions and what the future held for him and for the girl who, even while dancing with another, remained at the center of his thoughts.

After the dance and greeting everyone, Y/N decided to leave the ballroom. She sat on a bench outside, taking off her tight shoes. She realized it was the same garden as four years ago, where her lips and Snow's touched for the first time.

"Thanks for what you said about the Plinth Award." Once again, Snow startled the girl.

"You're welcome."

"I'm sorry about the dress; it'll probably stain."

"Since when do you know about laundry?" Y/N teased.

"Tigris made me learn the hard way," Snow laughed.

"What Clemensia did wasn't cool; I'm sorry." The boy seemed sincere. A white rose on his chest drew attention in his black suit. "You look beautiful." Y/N was angry with him. Looking at him like this and knowing what would come next was driving her crazy. Coryo seemed lost; maybe there was no salvation for him despite everything.

"I know your trick," she teased, laughing. She knew, above all, that Coryo used his charm to persuade everyone. And he did it very well. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" Snow didn't understand where the girl was going.

"You're impossible to decipher, as if you don't want people to know what you really feel."

"Showing emotions is a sign of weakness." It was one of the things Coryo's father always said, and they repeated it to him as a child. "Feeling is a weakness. I don't allow myself to feel anything other than the feelings that keep me going." His gaze seemed somewhat dark.

Y/N looked at the starry mantle above them.

"Showing emotions makes you human, Coryo," Y/N said. "Humanity means understanding your own feelings. We need to cherish

the good emotions and keep the people who make us feel good close by, you know?" It was as if she wanted the boy to be shaped by her words. She knew it wouldn't be that easy. But it would be a good start.

"Do you have any dreams? Something you would like to make come true?"

"I'm not sure. I wish I could give a better life to the Snows. Clean our name, return to the prestige we had before the destruction of District 13. I also want to give a better future to Tigris and our Grandmother." At this point, the boy was already by her side, leaning on the railing that separated the area they were in from the small artificial stream below. "I also wish I could choose what and how much I eat." Coryo was sincere; Y/N could tell. The poverty of the Snows was not evident, Coryo disguised it well. But Tigris complained to the girl years before about how the Snow family was becoming increasingly impoverished. Whenever Y/N went to her friend's house, she brought something to eat as a silent gesture of sympathy, but she knew that she would make her friend very grateful. She couldn't and didn't want to seem sorry or supporting the friend's family. Because people would notice, and it would generate more problems than solutions. Y/N didn't know her own family's reaction either.

"It's a lot for someone who claims not to feel," Y/N teased, her eyes reflecting a playful challenge.

Coryo's lips curved into an ironic smile. "Maybe I just need the right inspiration."

Y/N laughed, feeling a surprisingly lightness in their conversation. "Inspiration, huh? If you had the chance to shape the future, how would it be?"

He stared at the starry sky, pondering her question. "Power is the answer, control over everything. But maybe... maybe a Panem where people don't have to fight for survival, where the Capitol doesn't dictate our lives." Y/N wondered if he was talking about his own survival or about the districts.

Y/N's eyes softened, witnessing a glimpse of vulnerability beneath Coryo's facade. "That sounds like a dream worth pursuing."

"And you? In this ideal Panem, what would be your role?" He asked curiously.

"I would be a storyteller," Y/N replied, laughing. "I would weave narratives of hope, resilience, and... love. I would show the world that compassion can be our greatest strength."

A genuine smile lit up Coryo's face, and for that brief moment, the differences between them dissipated. The distant music from the ballroom served as a backdrop for their conversation, a symphony accompanying the unspoken connection.

"You would do well in that role. Even though I think it would be a waste of potential since you're the SECOND-best student at the Academy," Coryo admitted, with a playful tone.

The white rose on his lapel seemed to capture the moonlight, its petals reflecting the vulnerability in his eyes. The tension that once filled the air now transformed into a shared understanding.

They were very close to each other; Y/N could smell the boy's perfume. She noticed every detail of his face to try to capture that moment in her memory. Her fingers stretched out and reached for the rose on his lapel. She detached it easily.

"Which one of us is going to steal some sweets for us to eat while we talk?"

"Do you have pockets in your dress?" The boy teased, enjoying the moment, as she placed the stolen rose on the strap of her white dress.

"No, exactly because of that, it will have to be you."

Coryo laughed as he nodded. Without saying anything else, he turned his back to the girl and disappeared into the darkness of the corridor.

Alone, Y/N wondered if the boy would come back. She was sure it was a perfect opening for him to return to the ball. She looked at the small fish swimming fast in the artificial stream below the railing. Even they were trapped. Even their freedom was controlled by the Capitol.

"Y/N."

"Coryo."

"Do you still like chocolate?" The boy asked, taking a plastic package with something like a small tart from his pocket.

"They make these especially for stealing, how can that be?" The girl amused herself while opening the small package.

As the night unfolded, the two found themselves immersed in a conversation that transcended the limitations of their tumultuous history. The garden, witness to their first kiss and now witness to their shared dreams, became a sanctuary of possibilities. And in the midst of the starry serenity, a connection, delicate but profound, began to blossom, challenging preconceived notions of their roles in a world on the brink of change. The night continued, filled with moments that defied expectations and revealed the complexity of their feelings. Y/N and Coryo's story was far from over, but in that moment, they chose to enjoy the dance under the stars, building together a new chapter of hope and possibility in a world about to change.

______________________________

Just wanted to drop a quick note to say a massive thank you for all the love, likes, comments, and follows on my story. <3

Taglist: @shari-berri @h-l-vlovesvintage @tea-bobba @daenerysqueenofhearts

Again: REQUESTS and TAGLIST ARE OPEN!!!!!

[shygirl4991]

Cover art by @merp0515 Gmod art by @b-r-i-n-g-x Do not repost art (this fic is for my sib bringx have an awesome day!) Summary: Frustrated with SMG4, Three takes his stress out on a pair of dolls he put in Fours room.  Slowly secret feelings slip out with a guest catching the whole show.

Tag: love confession, first kiss, dorks in love,fluff

SMG3 huffs walking away from four and the rest of the crew annoyed, SMG4 wanted to do a video testing everyone's skills in different challenges. Four knew that Three wasn't about eating challenges and other silly activities the others would be into, yet the man still told Three he had to eat a bunch of pasta against their avatar. He storms into the castle thinking on how to blow off steam since the group was using his cafe as background to help boost interest. He noticed that Four left his room open, there in the chest of his room were two doll made to look like their old design. 

He keeps stomping as he makes his way to his partner's room, he slams the door shut and looks at the dolls. He picks them up frowning, seeing their old design brought back not so pleasant memories for him. He sits on the floor with the dolls and sighs changing the pitch of his voice he begins to move around the SMG4 doll “Oh Three mind doing some really stupid shit that will make you look like an idiot, haha that was a joke i dont give a shit go do it!”  he picks up his doll and starts moving it “You're just giving me these roles cause you know i'm better than you, i'm A tier while your just a D tier scrub!” 

He kept going back and forth getting his anger about the events out of his system, slowly something else surfaced as he brought the doll together. He blushed seeing how close the dolls were, he brought them closer as his heart raced at the thought of making them kiss.  Is this something that he wanted? 

He thinks back over everything they have gone through, he had to admit since confessing he saw the other man as a friend the pair had gotten closer. They joke around more, they hold hands more often not because he likes it after all they had to use their powers in that way. Lately he has not been able to get SMG4 out of his head, the idea of spending time with him made his chest feel strange. He thinks back to the last time he felt this way, he met Gary, he saved him from an explosion he caused due to using too much gunpowder they hit it off well until his obsession with SMG4 got in the middle. 

He sighs dropping the dolls, everything that has gone wrong was because of the idiot. Yet at the same time all the best memories he had was also with the man, with conflicting emotions he grabs the dolls again and makes them kiss. 

He smiles softly at the sight, it reminded him of their first kiss that Mario made them do. He acted like he hated it but deep down he knew he loved it, he changed his voice and moved the SMG4 doll “Your so awesome SMG3, no wonder you became tumblr sexy man. Lately my thoughts on you have changed.” he moves the other doll making it seem shocked “What are you saying SMG4!?” Lost in his game of pretending he doesn't hear the door open as SMG4 went to check on him. He blinks seeing Three sitting by his bed holding the two dolls, he slowly walks towards him hearing the man speaking.

SMG3 blushes feeling a bit embarrassed from what he was going to say “Well what i mean is i love you SMG3,” with that he makes the SMG4 doll kiss his. Seeing this SMG4 lets out a giggle “Hey Three what are you doing over there?” startled SMG3 screamed, throwing the dolls away from him.

Three turns giving the man an awkward smile “OH SMG4 how long have you been there?” Four couldnt help the smirk growing on his face as he looked at the dolls now abandoned. “Oh just got here, heard a voice in my room and wanted to check it out.” he then walks over and sits next to the man still smirking “What were you doing?”

Three lets out a nervous chuckle “Uh oh! Getting stressed out so I was teaching your stupid doll a lesson!” He smiles feeling confident that his answer lured Four away from the truth. Four hums picking up his doll then he turns to SMG3 “Well don't stop because of me let me help you out!”  Three eyes go wide before he can decline the offer SMG4 presses the doll's lips on his cheek, causing him to blush.

Three stared wide-eyed at Four who then hides behind the doll “I can't help that i fell in love with you, we are friends now no longer rivals! I’m sorry for hurting your feelings. Could you ever forgive me?” still blushing he grabs his doll and talks behind it “Sure whatever this is fucking stupid why are we doing this?” Four moves the doll closer to him. Three was watching every move that Four was doing, nervous as to what the man in blue was planning.

“Because we had a fight earlier and i want to make it up to you,” Three blinks surprised to hear four words. Without thinking he leans forward, seeing this Four took his chance placing his own lips on Three. After the quick kiss, Fours face was dark red, he got up acting as if nothing happened  “We should head back to the others!”  Three gets up and grabs the blushing man pulling him into another kiss, dolls forgotten on the floor as the two share a kiss. As they pull away, Four looks at Three in awe, Three rubbing his arm “uh what just happened?” 

Four shyly looked down “My confession with the doll wasn’t a lie, i got interested in dating…looked around and no one caught my eye. But that's when I noticed an apple already did and it's you..” SMG3 smiles hugging Four “You're such an idiot… I feel the same.” They pull away smiling softly at each other before leaving the room, Four then comes up with an idea. Telling Three he needs something he runs to his room and grabs the dolls, he places them on his bed now holding hands. He giggles and runs out of the room “HEY BABE NEW IDEA FOR A VIDEO!” 

[bonefall]

How do you feel about "character joins bloodclan" aus? Im curious about ur thoughts since youre really in tune with the themes of the series but personally i just hate them bc its ALWAYS aimed at 'unfortunate' characters and always ALWAYS ignores the fact that bloodclan is a horrible place in-canon and that they're just reflavoring the abuse and trauma the characters qent through to be more emo or goth themed.

Ravenpaw is ALWAYS a prime target for this and its like. Great. You took the character being abused by their mentor figure and is being harmed from the violent culture the clan has generated... and giving them an EMO mentor figure who will inevitably abuse them and harm them as a result of the violent culture the emo clan has generated. Sasha is another one I've noticed- you've put the woman who lost her kit and is struggling to survive with the others while being controlled and abused by someone who sees her as an outsider (aka alone and easy to isolate), and are gonna put her in a faction who specifically separates kin from one another to easily control them and who have canonically tried murdering those who stick with their family. What was gained here.

Like i know bloodclan is revamped in ur au (thank god for it) but in canon bloodclan is HORRIBLE. People ignore that in favor of putting their favs into bloodclan bc bloodclan is cool and killed tigerstar that one time bc of revenge. Ravenpaw becomes Scourge AUS are SO SO SO much worse bc of this too- sure you manage to point out how scourge and raven has roughly similar stories in their youth but you could also do something interesting and make an au where raven and scourge are FOILS and do a firestar/scourge thing, while pointing this comparison out!! Instead you just went "Ravenpaw emo now and is sad about beating up Firestar his friend" and basically kept everything the same.

Sorry im basically venting here but i just dont like how people forget that scourge in canon does NOT look out for the 'little guy', he's a murderer and abuser who wants to keep his subjects afraid and separated so that he alone has power over them. Bloodclan is not the cool strong goth group, its the group where two cats slaughter eachother over a piece of twoleg scraps, only for the survivor to die bc the food was poisonous to cats and no one knew bc theres no cohesive group that can pass that knowledge around. its a fucking horrible place to live. Im not saying that you cant do interesting "character in bloodclan" aus (a Rusty who lives in bloodclan who STILL wants to do good but is shaped by the horrid reality of bloodclan would be fun imo) but its so often used with already traumatized characters as a 'solution' or 'fix-it with some emotional issues involved' that i just foam at the mouth and howl like a rabid animal on principle at this point.

Hmm... I think for me, it doesn't tend to read that way for me when the fandom makes AUs for it. I'm coming at BloodClan from a point of really deep critique and frustration.

BloodClan's not a REAL place, and what that means is, every speck of how horrible it was is a choice the writers made to justify its treatment. It was something they actively decided, because, BloodClan was a tool to suddenly invalidate the previous 5 books of TPB so that the series could comfortably conclude there was no need to upset the status quo.

If you haven't read it before, I recommend this post I made on how Darkest Hour Is A Personal Disappointment, but anyway;

We spend a whole series on how Fireheart challenges a broken society, because he is different. Their xenophobia, how isolationism and glory get people killed, the way that Tigerstar's greatest asset is how respected he is... these are bad things. They're things that Fireheart fights for several books.

But then, in the LAST book, in the 11th inning, they introduce BloodClan. They're just evil. They have no nuance. The narrative bends over backwards to stress that this group of evil foreigners LOVES murder, hates friendship, and doesn't believe in our good god.

Suddenly, the Clan cats have to be EXTRA xenophobic and glorious to kill these filthy, murderous foreign hordes. Clan cat belief in their good god makes them stronger than the bloodthirsty barbarians. Firestar kills Scourge and we can feel happy and triumphant about it, when Tigerstar was killed a few chapters ago and given a tragic sendoff.

So, I encourage you to step back from an emotional response to how Filthy and Murderous this group was portrayed, and look at it as a writing choice.

When Tigerstar, known cat-racist and murderer of mixed-race people, is killed by Scourge in self-defense, he is grieved by Firestar and commended for his "good qualities". (and then they retconned in that it was actually secretly revenge all along, not just self defense, so this killing is extra evil)

When Scourge is killed, Firestar just thinks about how it's cool he's not going to heaven, and how all of the previously ferocious BloodClan warriors look so inferior to the forest Clans.

And so, with all that said,

I'm 100% in favor of how the fandom widely looks at this, says, "fuck that" and just makes them the Cool Goth Group. I'd argue pretty strongly that the least nuanced idea of that is still infinitely better than canon.

There was nothing there. It was literally just Xenophobia-Is-JustifiedClan. They literally hated love and friendship and banned families so that Clan cats would look good in comparison. Banned families. You don't get this level of stupid evil from anything else but an 80s cartoon.

Maybe I just don't see the AUs you tend to see (I curate my Tumblr experience very well and generally hang out in more adult-oriented spaces, I can imagine a place like Amino being mostly kids who tend to be immature. Edgelord Angstpiddle is just a normal part of growing up), but every project I see that gives me a glimpse of BloodClan Ravenpaws and Sashas come with such tweaks already assumed.

Like, these are examples I've seen,

They'll have Raven be involved with the formation of BloodClan

Scourge will actually be a character with some pity and mercy, like how he was in Rise of Scourge when his abusive siblings begged him for food, and he fed them before sending them away.

no ban on love and friendship. Lol. Lmao, even.

More of the social structure will be based around acquiring food for people in a 'harsh' environment, leading to that battle, instead of just Evil Foreign Greed (which canon!scourge only had after being almost killed by tigerstar, because he said "actually, in light of new information that you are a murderer, i need to reconsider our deal.")

BloodClan will be overhauled completely. I've seen this a few ways. Connecting them to SkyClan, or the Oakstar raids on Chelford, or even as a positive entity; a surprise ally. (VERY common with BloodClan Ravenpaw AUs I've seen).

Anyways... (Shrug), I dunno dude, it doesn't bother me that much.

[tauforged]

Do you have any tips/tricks on getting into warframe? I want to play bc the designs look cool and I'm sure the story is just as interesting!

(It is completely OK to info-dump!)

OH BOY OH BOY!!!!!!!!

ive probably said it better before, but cant find the posts because this website has the worst search function known to all mankind -_- so i will give you some bullet points that will not be all inclusive and i invite anyone else who wants to chime in to do so!!

while the devs are definitely trying to streamline new player experience, the story is uh. a lot! the game has like, what, 11yrs worth of content behind it by now? there's a lot! depending on your playstyle and how you progress through the game, it might take you a while to really get into the meat of it -- or you might speedrun all the main storylines in like a month. there are lots of side quests and secondary objectives you can dick around with as much as you like, which some people find fun and some people find annoying. i liek it :) but it can definitely be a lot

there have been a lot of time limited events and hidden lore entries that make some things pretty inaccessible to new players. they seem to be trying to get better about this but its still not ideal. the wiki is not always right (afaik, theyre still hung up on whether or not albrecht and loid were ~canonically~ together, which is literally just blatantly textual) but it can be a good place to find summaries of shit you've missed out on. ive never watched a single one of those 'warframe lore explained' videos so i cannot vouch for any of their accuracy. i dont really pay attention to the subreddit or the official forums either, but those might have information too? idk

i personally find that some of the quests are thrown at you wayyyyy earlier than they should -- heart of deimos is one that i strongly believe should be way more lategame than it is, since it builds on a lot of stuff that you probably won't know by the time you get to it unless youve been paying veryvery close attention or have been going wiki spelunking. i wouldnt stress about it too much if something seems to make no fucking sense, though. most quests are replayable if you want to go back to something with fresh eyes or different context

i have probably already spoiled you on a lot of the lategame stuff and for that im sorry! lmao this isnt really a game where spoilers will ruin something per se, but since ive been playing the game since like 2013 i went into everything blind as it was released and i always had a huge blast when the game dropped a bombshell on us, so i try not to rob anyone of that experience if i can help it -- not a huge deal though depending on preference

there's a lot of grinding and farming. i personally dont find it overly tedious as there's a lot to do and it's easy to mix things up and take breaks, but for some people it's a huge turn off, so just a heads up i guess. you can technically bypass a lot of the grind by buying new frames or weapons off the market if you really want to spend your money on that, but there's some things that are locked behind a reputation grind and such. and honestly, you dont Need to spend money on anything but some cosmetics

trying to play through everything solo might be fun if you enjoy a challenge, but i personally find it to be unsustainable. you're going to want to find a decent sized clan and you're going to want to either find friends to play with or hit up the recruiting chat for backup.

you can make platinum pretty easy by farming prime parts or rare mods and other such tradeable things and selling them to other players. i dont bother with this because im bad at keeping up on video game economies and it never interested me. but it makes being a 100% f2p player a lot easier when you need to buy inventory slots and such

there are over 50 warframes and countless ways to mod each one, and an absurd amount of different weapons -- there isnt really any one playstyle thats 'better' than any other. i perosnally pay next to no attention to the meta outside of keeping in mind what damage types are effective against which enemies. some people really enjoy minmaxxing the hell out of their shit. you can kinda just do whatever

don't buy plat without having at least a 50% discount login bonus unless it is an absolute emergency. the discounts are random but ive found they happen often enough that i can just wait around for one to pop up and replenish if i'm low. or dont bother idk i cant tell you how to spend your money im not your dad

mute region chat for the sake of your own sanity. nobody in there is as funny as they think they are. moderation is better in there than it used to be but it's still a wasteland

the most important part of playing warframe is having fun and being yourself :)

[conanssummerchild]

i was watching meeseeks and destroy today and in the beginning of the episode when morty tells rick that he's done with their adventures i couldn't help but remember a similar situation with evil morty and his rick in the flashback at the beginning of unmortricken and i think its very notable to see the difference between the two scenes:

(please forgive the shitty pictures, theyre taken straight from my laptop 😭. blue is morty prime and rick c-137 and orange is evil rick and morty)

both scenes start with the mortys having an objection about the adventures

"Wow, another adventure where I went up an ass."

"I just killed my family! I dont care what they were."

and both ricks act generally dismissive about it, although evil rick does go for more of a kind of mocking approach while c-137 is just plain dismissive, almost distracted kind of like hes not really paying attention to what morty is saying

"Oh, good, are we having this fight again?" Let me guess, you're gonna leave or throw a sulking fit?"

"I don't know, Morty. Some people would pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough."

dismissive at first (like i've repeated 3 times already, sorry i cant think of another word 😭), but his face changes when he realises morty's being fr

evil morty's response is, justifiably, to insult his rick, but morty primes response is not meant to be insulting, and its kinda more telling rick how he feels (traumatised) and showing rick his frustration with their adventures as they are

"You think you know everything, Rick, but you're basically just a giant 8-year old." (accurate and also not the only time evil morty has expressed this sentiment)

"You know what, Rick? Thats it! I'm done with these insane adventures! That was really traumatising! I quit! I'm out!"

It's also notable that morty prime is the one who says he's done with ricks stuff, while evil rick is the one who challenges morty to leave

"I'm not doing this anymore! Either you're in or you're out, Morty. I'm tired of you weaponising this half-assed threat. You want out, then fucking quit!"

so evil rick's reaction to morty complaining is to challenge him to leave, but, while initially dismissive, as soon as c-137 realises morty's serious, he immediately tries to stop him

"Woah, woah, woah! Come on, Morty, don't be like that. The universe is a crazy, chaotic place."

look at him, he's so worried about morty leaving

and lastly, evil morty agrees and apologises (ofc we know it isnt sincere, but still, he doesn't even try to get his rick to understand his perspective because he likely never has before), while morty prime doesn't back down and stands his ground

"You know what, you're right. Sorry to be such a high-maintenance Morty. Why don't i get you a drink?"

"You're the one that's crazy and chaotic! Adventures are supposed to be simple and fun."

evil morty then goes on to kill hundreds or thousands of ricks and torture their morties and do a bunch more unspeakable shit, all to escape his rick and the cfc, while rick c-137 and morty prime continue to argue for a little bit longer, but eventually come to a decision together and go on the very first Morty Adventure (which is definitely quite a rocky road, but establishes morty being allowed to pick some of their adventures, which is what he wanted)

also very notable is when evil rick starts shouting and leans into evil morty's space, morty flinches and falls back, shielding himself with his arm (which is something i didnt actually notice initially but that @/fandomwe1rd0 pointed out in this post right here) and he makes a small noise that sounds like one of fear (a video of the scene is in the post i just linked if you want to take a closer look at the interaction). at no point during c-137 and morty prime's little argument does morty flinch/seem afraid of rick physically harming him, granted c-137 didnt really yell at him like evil rick did, but evil morty flinches away when rick leans towards him, not when he starts yelling, and c-137 doesnt just lean towards morty, he actually puts his hands on his shoulders, actually touching him, and morty seems in now way deterred or afraid.

apologies for any spelling mistakes its 2am lol, i hope this made any sense at all! :)

[readalyavailabletaggy]

i think “Lo-Fi Beats to Yoyle To” is one of my favorite not episode bfdi videos (is it a short? i guess its moreso a music video) purely because of how comfy it is and the slice of life-y ness of it. “its not canon-“ I DONT CARE SHOOTING U WITH MY EVIL LASER!!! um anyway yeah under the cut is me analyzing multiple scenes from it. i wont be looking into every single one but a lot of them

THE FIRST SCENE and its already a banger. even tho we dont see this hypothetical “team ice cube room” ever outside of this (yeah yeah not canon) it still is so interesting to like. think about. i cant remember how many times we’ve seen objects fall asleep at night but. i love how gelatin has a biiig sleep bubble thats him colored (does it taste like jelly??) AND. FIREY JR. SLEEPS IN A SOCK. thats adorable. anyway yeah even if its a reference to the lofi girl i really like how donut is, presumebly, writing in his diary? late at night with lofi music on? thats so cute. i also love how you can see a picture of bomby and a statue of ice cube on the top shelf

THIS SCENE is awesome too - we never really saw the big staircase outside of bfb 1 & 11 but i love the idea so much that it became a hangout spot for the objects! (in bfb 11x it even has graffiti on it after its first appearance in bfb 1, which is such a cool detail and goes to show the lived-in ness which i adore and this short does so well. and rhat isnt even in this video!! the point im making - bring back the big staircase. where did it go) even flower and bomby, characters who we never saw interact and are on different teams are listening to music together and eating bananas. thats so awesome, i love the idea that the contestants are way more chill with eachother when not competing? everything revolves around the competition which makes sense, but i love these little moments

next up! first off i love the lighting here, it seems to be at sunrise or sunset with the orange sky which is SO interesting cuz. we never see sunrise or sunset in the show!!!! its always just day or night. its crazy how they excluded the best time of day. anyway i love how:

- bell’s just vibing on her own!! it makes sense ig considering she can fly anywhere

-book’s seemingly watching bell? lesbian behavior

-GOLFBALL SHES JUST. doodling on her piece of paper thats adorable. i love seeing objects do the things they like!!!

i also really like how we see one of the paper airplanes. we see them in bfb 13 which is awesome too but seeing the stuff from prior challenges is so cool and i love the continuity

OMG ITS THE BFDI (Burried forest, deciduously insulated) again!!! i love seeing this thing, its similar to the paper airplanes or staircase where its so cool to see things which are one-off moments/objects/places in episodes, seeing them multiple times really helps flesh out the world. ALSO. naily and barfbag playing/vibing in the water. thats so adorable

the next scene is one where we see a few bleh members in their room from bfb 12 - once again going back to it being so cool to see places from other challenges!! (even if it appears to be the case that four just made and destroyed them for the episode.)

as you can SEE i specifically chose to highlight taco here. SHES JUST DRAWING A PICTURE OF HERSELF AND LABELING IT ME??? thats so cute i love her for that

AND HERE we have pin vibing in the goiky canal(?) in one of the boats. this is so awesome i love seeing the bfdi boats reappear and i love how pin’s just chilling. love her for that

LAST ONE i want to go over: oh my GOD?? ITS LEGO BRICK IN ONE OF THE LEVELS FROM BFDIA 5B?? this was and still is such a cool reference. the idea that they’re still stuck in evil leafy is such a interesting and sad idea!! the lofi music gives this scene an heir of loneliness which makes it so weirdly compelling to me.

anyway yeah thats it!!! if theres one thing to learn one of the best thints competition shows can and should do imo is slow down every once in a while and show the contestants living their lives. this was seen more recently with bfdia 13 but this video is another great example and it doesnt even use words or a story. it doesnt need to, the object show is a visual media and this is such an awesome video which tells us so much about the bfdi universe without words

usually i dont ask for reblogs and this isnt even an effort thing i wrote this in like 20 min but. it would mean a lot to me if you reblogged this cuz i think its really cool to see the objects here and i think more people should see and think about the slice of life portions of object shows

[urpersonalpublicgalaxy]

in-progress fnaf theory!!! now that ive established fnaf has a space on my blog... :3

prototype freddy.

thats some weird shit right??? well actually no he very well could be perfectly explainable and heres how (in other words i see a lot of confusion over him anddd my brain connected some dots i would like to share!!)

(at the very bottom is tl;dr!!!)

gonna explain the some base info first, but i am assuming some level of understanding of sb and ruin during this however so if ur new to either this might not make sense, sorry :( im gonna ramble a bit so get comfy

princess quest is the canon ending, based on evidence from ruin. this theory is reliant on that

ok so!!!! lets talk about the Vanny option (at the doors, 6am) as choosing this option is mandatory to reach both the vanny ending and the pq ending

when the option is selected everyones least favourite Freddy Gets Trashed cutscene plays, regardless of doing pq or not

yknow...

so!! the damage to him, which is from this scene, happens regardless of vanny ending or pq ending, we just only get to really see it in the vanny ending

heres a good look at that

and now i want you to take a good stare at prototype freddy (especially the arm and torso!!)

the damage is, while a little more extreme (which could easily just be from how much time has passed between sb and ruin) near identical

and his head is missing, which circles back around to the pq ending, in which gregory takes freddys head with him!! small issue- the damage

which is rather clearly completely missing from him in the pq ending. well luckily i can explain this too :3

there are very obviously time gaps in the pq ending cutscene. what we are shown is not *everything* thats happening there. link to a video of the cutscene,,

he leans out the window, takes a look at the staff bots deactivating- and then it cuts to him, standing near the exit, vanessa waiting for him at the door, freddy already in a bag. shit has CLEARLY gone down off screen in that time jump because 1. shes waiting for him and not freaking out, 2. gregory isnt scared shitless of her and freddy trusts her (you cannot convince me freddy would trust her automatically, even if he did at the start of the night. he KNEW that she was vanny,

or at the very least that she was connected with it,

and he still literally instructs gregory on killing her. this is a screenshot from a pq ending playthrough.)

so!! they fixed freddys head

what better way for gregory to trust vanessa than her helping to fix the one consistent friend & safety hes had in that whole place?? besides, at this points its mandatory that hes done the power upgrade plus roxys eyes and either montys or chicas parts, so hes got SOME experience at least, not to mention that repairs seem to be intentionally incredibly simple in design (probably so they dont have to get employees with actual qualifications... lets be honest, makes sense considering the company we're talking about.)

however-- the damage done is something considerably different than before, and doesn't have a built-in routine, which does pose some entirely new challenges, and before he atleast had some direction from hand unit.

so of course, vanessa who is an **actual employee** probably comes in handy here!! especially considering the fact freddy himself would be 'dead' for most of it-- since thats what happens at the end of the vanny ending cutscene, he shuts down

anyways its entirely believable that this kid would want to get his new father figure fixed first and foremost (hes gone out of his way just for freddy before, and vice versa) and that she would want to help him in any way possible after yk, being murderous.. and entirely believable that this would be possible to do. and, it explains the level of trust shown in the cutscene :)

and the course of action with 'ok take his head off', it makes sense the rest of his body wouldn't be salvagable, with it beyond either of their qualifications (since vanessa is a security guard and not a technician) and most importantly, probably impossible for either of them to actually move. and vanessa was literally talking shit to him headless earlier, not to mention gregory having to reattach it- theyre both familar to some degree with the idea of him working without his body connected

tl;dr: prototype freddy isnt another model or some weird shit, its just his leftover corpse lmao couldnt be me

PLEASE please join in the discussion; this theory is NOT foolproof and while i could explain how the prototype mark and present in his chest wouldve gotten there, ive got many reasons why and nothing concrete to say which one of them is accurate!!! (if anyones interested, i can reblog with my current ideas on that ^_^)

[sirenjose]

So I've been really into your analysis lately and I'm a huge fan now, wanted to ask some questions, feel free to not answer any

1- what was your favourite idv story/event to analyze?

2- your least fav of the latter?

3- are you into anything else besides idv?

4-how do you find the motivation to analyze stuff? I've tried before and it was very draining :')

Thanks for your time, hope you have a lovely day

I'm very happy to hear you're enjoying yourself despite my own low opinion about much of what I put out. I'll do my best to answer!

Hmm I always dislike picking favorites because I'm bad at picking eheh... But the ones I liked most... I honestly enjoy T&I and COA (1-5) even more than the main story. So I think I might pick... Atropos' Ropes for T&I and for COA, thats harder... 3-5 are my faves but I might pick 4 just because of how it felt it had the most story/details given than all the rest. Even the *SONG* had story. I loved it.

Least fave, eh... Orfeo and Zinaida immediately come to mind, though Orfeo I'd say was worse... COA 1 is another primarily because of how DIFFICULT it was for me to figure it out enough to put together an analysis. And I had to rewrite that thing at LEAST 3 times to the point I'm just hoping it's good enough and leaving it alone. Time of Reunion I think is another that comes to mind, mainly because I didn't appreciate how they treated Norton in there, especially in the videos (but at least those aren't canon like the in-game event was). So based on all that, I might say Orfeo if I really had to pick 1. Then rank ToR 2nd and Zinaida/COA1 3rd.

FF14 and Honkai Star Rail especially I'm playing actively these days, but I honestly like a lot of stuff. Like Persona (espeially 4), 999 aka Zero Escape, and Star Ocean Til the End of Time. Least in terms of games.

Hmm... Maybe because the 1st reason I play a game is because of the story, and gameplay is always 2nd to me. If the story and characters are good, that gets me interested. Issue with IDV is we only get bits and pieces. Really need to look deeper to really understand some of the characters. I actually only started analyzing because I challenged myself (partially out of curiosity for the answer) to see if I could prove if Norton wasn't as evil as people thought (based on all the comments I saw when I 1st joined the fandom a long while ago). From there, there was Jose who I wanted to analyze because he honestly had so many plot holes I couldn't (and still can't completely) solve. So I get the most enjoyment analyzing something that doesn't have a clear answer. Which is why I don't always post for every letter. A big part of it is I enjoy history and culture and such, so it's fun for me to learn about different foods, or time periods, or how bad the environment was for miners or sailors back in the day, etc... I dont think I have an easy answer (I can see I'm rambling). Norton I actually only began to like because I was spending so long working on my 1st analysis for him (and my perfectionism made me analyze all of Norton's essences before i could call it finished). Jose was because I love Captain Hook, and then after because of the plot holes that bothered me. Then for others, I think I enjoy making analyses to... try to sometimes change people's opinoions/beliefs. Like with Margaretha or Vera. With Edgar was because I was more interested in his story and him as a character only once I put together all his lore. Sort of goes on from there. I could ramble on but I'm going to get even more guilty. I hope this helps somewhat, but let me know if it doesn't and I'll keep going. Maybe the simple is A) I like history/culture/research, B) I like to convince people that certain characters arent as evil as they think or change beliefs I think aren't quite accurate, C) I like solving puzzles and I love story, D) I already think too hard about literally everything, and combined with my perfectionism, we get analysis

[mariusroyale]

tips on how to draw raph? :3

I’m a raph lover but he is so hard to draw 😔

hey an!! listen i get u completely, this big spikey boy can be a real challenge

my main advice would probably be to recognise raph’s structure? his shapes and how he’s formed, etc. and the best way for that imo are references! i have a tag for this actually

and here’s some raph refs!

if u wanna know how to draw the entirety of the best boy this post wouldn’t do it justice so here’s some main things:

if you’re trying to replicate the show’s style keep in mind how angular everything is. raph's main shape is a square because of how bulky and rigid he is (helps to encourage his character's role too! love that they made him such a fucken tank)

raph’s head shape is basically if you widened leo’s head- they’re both pointed too

one main thing i do for any head really is keep in mind the eye placement and the cheeks

if u happen to draw faces with the fabled circle and two lines- i use the horizontal line to mark where the bottom of the eyes are- and where the start of the cheek begins (i’m doing my best not to make this into a ‘now draw the rest of the owl’ moment)

if that makes any sense. heres a really shoddy 'tutorial'

i kinda just blank out on my canvas and raph appears out of sheer will

but also just like.

figure out how you like raph's head to look (maybe u want his snout longer, or his jaw shorter, etc etc)

figure out where his brow ridges are located and how they're moving (is he grumpy? is he angry??)

make a mask for his eyes to go in (jebus take the wheel)

pronounce snout (it protrudes, which makes it easy to figure out his facial planes)

do whatever feels right for his mouth- im not exactly rigid with how i draw as of rn, i just do what feels right

ive drawn raph with a more pronounced snout too, and oscillate between designs if i feel like it (truthfully i also sometimes begin his head shape with a square (i mean if im doing a different style), feel free to do that if it helps i dunno-)

if you want to draw his shell and plastron here’s what i do:

being able to carve out 3D shapes will help a lot with the border of his shell

by blocking out the main shape and then carving away at it you can then see how raph’s shell is structured (just. try decipher my sketch if u can pfghjhj)

for the actual shell itself it’s a lot like mikey and leo’s where it has a big curve and then dips at his midsection (where his belt goes!) also keep in mind the spikes of his shell follow those same curves (ft. dr belle)

with his plastron (chest plate) i basically make sure it’s the same length of his clavicle? the jagged edges of it i mean. it helps a lot to map out where his shoulders meet his arms

(pls keep in mind my art’s inconsistent and i don’t even follow my advice- the hole in his shell changes every time i draw it 💀)

his body shape is also just in general wider and stockier- if i ever see people draw him skinnier than he is you'd be able to hear my soul exiting my body

all of him is wider in general! hes bigger than the rest of his brothers so dont forget to show it instead of just giving him a height difference. he BEEG.

i’m not sure how else to describe the process of drawing him other than just. draw him?? 😅 my best advice would be to draw him repeatedly based on references- and study your favourite raph artists’ way of drawing him (mine would be jacocoon and itz_jazzy_jazzin)

and it helps to study bc it can answer these questions

how do you want to draw him? do you like the way a specific artist stylises his features? do you want him more spikey? more sharp? maybe you want to draw him bigger! (i myself like to give him a tail, extra markings on his spikes + a few scars post movie and his mismatched eyes)

repetition is super important to get it all engrained in your brain- and it’s why i don’t really even use refs for him anymore fldjs

dont forget a very important rule: appreciate the big boy in all his glory

[ganondoodle]

I’m not sure if you’ve answered this yet, but are you planning on using the pirates in your TotK rewrite? I found them to be the perfect representation of everything that bugged me about the game (super interesting and thought provoking when you hear about them but kinda boring and uninspired in practice).

I really wanted Link to get a cool pirate outfit for beating them, or maybe unique weapons.

Love your work❤️

i do!

its not perfectly planned out yet since i have been working on different parts more, but the general idea is that it is a more proper band of pirates, more or less, i thought id connect it to tauro since he seems like he should play a way bigger role than he does, so my idea was to make it his sister or otherwise relative that leads the pirates, who thought that he was taken hostage/kidnapped or some other missunderstanding that leads to them sailing to the fishing village (lurelin in english? its anglestedt in german which is like, it means fishingtown xD) and taking it over in their search for him, so not just destroyed but made into a fortress, when you go there it could be some sneaking mission like in ww but i hate sneaking so that is still just a rough idea-

there could be a miniboss of the second in command that then tells you the captain made the island jotwerde (where the nakey challenge is in botw) their hiding spot/main base and it leads to you dueling with the captain since she doesnt listen to you unless you prove yourself and afterwards tells you why they are here and you are like .. I KNOW THE GUY! but they probably dont believe you so you go back to kakariko and tell Tauro, who didnt know what was happening (maybe he jsut forgot to write her bc he was so focused on work and she then assumed something must have happened and went feral bc shes like that), and he goes and settles it, afterwards they stay in both places but dont occupy it anymore and you can go and refight the captain if you want bc shes cool and i like fighting things that are more than just monsters that go and explode afterwards

i know this isnt as thought out and well working as some of the other stuff i have done so far but again, its a rough idea and wanted to connect it to another NPC we know

Thank you so much though!! feel free to add your ideas if you got any, this ones still completely changeable, the only things im sure of is that i want there to be a female captain you fight with and perhaps connect it to Tauro in some way