#to the point where I hesitate to call myself a fan

[daintyduck99]

Shuffle your favourite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to your favourite mutuals <3 (ps if there's not at least 2 Swift songs in there I will be shocked)

❤️ I shuffled my On Repeat Playlist (I don't really have a singular favorite) and only got one Taylor Swift song somehow 😆 Fitting that it's shaping up to be my favorite from her latest album though. I do have two Olivia songs for you, however 😌

1. My Favorite Mistake - Sheryl Crow

2. obsessed - Olivia Rodrigo

3. Song About You - The Band CAMINO

4. Who's Afraid of Little Old Me? - Taylor Swift

5. girl i've always been - Olivia Rodrigo

[koiiiji]

lookism x reader. between takes

summary ; lookism actually is a series, and all guys are just actors, same as you, so you happen to meet with them backstage.

starring ; seongji, jungoo, jongun, gimyong

SEONGJI x demon!reader

the bustling film set was alive with energy. you were taking a break from your role, when you spotted Seongji Yook across the lot. his team was filming scenes for “lookism,” in the mountains of cheongliang too. you couldn't help but smile at the sight of your friend. Seongji noticed you and waved, making his way over with a grin. “nice horns. going for a new look?”

you laughed, adjusting your tail. “just trying something different. how’s the day going on your end?” he shrugged, glancing at his hands and feet. “i feel kinda weird with this,” he said, gesturing to the fake extra finger on each hand and foot.

“really?” you asked ironically, pointing at your demoniacal makeup, horns on your forehead and the tail behind you. “i think we’re both quite the spectacle here”

as you both found a quiet spot to sit, the conversation flowed easily. you talked about your roles, shared behind-the-scenes stories, and teased each other about your costumes.

“you make a pretty convincing demon,” Seongji said, his tone teasing yet sincere. “i’d say you’re stealing the show.”

“thanks, but i think you’re the real star,” you replied, meeting his gaze. “i saw you on set, your scenes have been incredible, your appearance in “lookism” will blow the whole show.”

there was a comfortable silence, the kind only shared between good friends. yet beneath it, there was an unspoken tension, that nobody dared to speak about. Seongji leaned back, watching the crew set up for the next scene. “you know, i’ve always admired how dedicated you are to your roles.”

your heart skipped a beat, his words feeling more personal than casual. “thank you, Seongji, i really appreciate it!”

and before you knew it, the break was over, and you both had to return to your sets. as you stood, Seongji hesitated for a moment. “hey, maybe we could grab dinner after filming wraps up?”

the invitation hung in the air, filled with possibilities. “i’d like that,” you replied, trying to contain your excitement.

with a shared smile, you parted ways, the encounter leaving you with a sense of anticipation.

JUNGOO x pirate!reader

cozy coffee shop was bustling with the morning crowd. you felt a bit out of place in your full pirate costume — with oversized shirt, high knee boots and tight corset, complete with a big hat adorned with feathers and all small accessories everywhere. your team took a break from filming, you all needed a caffeine boost. as you waited for your order, the door chimed, and in walked Jungoo Kim. you heard that his team filming “lookism” somewhere near your location. his costume torn in some spots and covered in fake blood, his skin in bruises from a fight scene and hair is messy. despite his rough appearance, he carried himself with his usual charismatic confidence.

your eyes met briefly, and you both did a double take. you recognized him instantly — you kinda were his fan, he is an actor you secretly admired and respected.

he recognized you as well, approaching with a playful grin, trying to play it cool. “ahoy there, captain,” he called out with a playful grin as he sauntered over. “looking for treasure, or have you already stolen it with that outfit?”

you laughed, tipping your hat. “just trying to keep myself and the crew in line.” you smiled, waving your head to the side where your set colleagues were sitting, feeling your cheeks warm. “and what about you, mister criminal? fighting off enemies before breakfast?”

Jungoo smirked, leaning in conspiratorially. “thought i’d see if the rumors were true about a captivating pirate queen causing a stir. seems they were right.”

you leaned back on the counter, smiling conspiratorially at him, playing along with his little performance, “ah, so you're not here by chance, and it's you the one who are looking for treasure here” you smiled teasingly, lifting your chin, the feathers on your hat trembled slightly.

“well, you caught me,” he chuckled, eyes twinkling. “i do have a knack for looking for treasures. maybe i should join your crew — think you could handle the competition?”

“only if you promise not to steal my spotlight,” you bantered back, imagining him in a tricorn hat and boots.

Jungoo leaned closer, lowering his voice as if sharing a secret. “i promise to keep the spotlight firmly on you. though, i might steal a dance from the captain.”

the playful exchange left you smiling, and you found yourself enjoying his company more than expected.

“i have to admit, i’ve been a fan of your work for a while,” he confessed, suddenly trying to sound nonchalant. “your performances are always captivating.”

surprised and flattered, you replied, “really? i’ve been following your career too. your fight scenes with sword are legendary.”

but as the director burst into the cafe and barked at everyone, urging them to return to set to start filming, Jungoo offered you a wink. “break a leg, captain. i’ll be here to catch you if you fall.”

with a wave, you returned to your role, feeling a bit more buoyant from the encounter.

JONGUN x black swan!reader

film studio was a maze of sets and props, buzzing with activity. you were navigating the corridors, adjusting to the thick black eye lenses you wore for your role as the black swan in upcoming film. they made everything difficult to see, but the effect was stunning on camera.

as you carefully made your way to the break room, you suddenly collided with someone. the impact, unexpected and strong, caused you to lose your balance and fall.

“whoa!” a deep voice exclaimed. you found yourself looking up at Park Jongun, who was also wearing the same intense black lenses for his role on the neighbor set.

“i’m so sorry!” you said, embarrassed as you tried to regain your footing. Jongun quickly helped you up, grabbing your wrist, pulling. you to his broad chesr, a little harder then he should have. his grip steady. “no, it’s my fault. these lenses make it hard to see anything.”

“tell me about it. i’ve been bumping into everything.” you laughed softly, brushing yourself off. he glanced at your costume, noticing the contrast between your delicate ballerina attire and his all bruised and blooded body makeup. “looks like we’re playing quite opposite roles.” he said, finally losing his grip and letting you go.

“yeah,” you admitted, feeling a bit self-conscious. “i had to lose a lot of weight for this role, so i’m not exactly steady on my feet.”

Jongun offered you a charm smile. “you look incredible, though. very convincing as a ballerina.”

“thanks,” you replied, appreciating his kindness. “i’m guessing you’re the tough guy in your film?”

he nodded, a hint of pride and amusement in his voice. “yeah, shiro oni, always ready for few crazy fights. but i promise i’m not as scary in real life.”

as you continued talking, you found Jongun to be easygoing and surprisingly funny. you shared stories about your roles and the challenges of filming with these horrible jet black lenses.

“next time, we should get a guide dog,” he joked, making you laugh.

“or maybe just a cane,” you suggested, enjoying the lighthearted banter.

eventually, it was time to return to your respective sets. “it was nice bumping into you — literally. let’s try to meet again when we can actually see each other.” Jongun smiled dazzlingly again, gently clasping your wrist, and leaving a light, soft kiss your knuckles.

“deal?” he asked with a charm grin, while you stand there smiling shyly, feeling a newfound connection.

“i’d like that,” you replied, feeling grateful for the unexpected encounter. with a wave, you both headed back to work, the meeting leaving you with a smile and the possibility of a new connection.

GIMYONG x targaryen princess!reader

sun was beginning to set over the bustling film set near the sea, casting a warm glow on the neighboring sets of two popular series. one set belonged to the fantasy series where you played a targaryen princess, and the other to the hit show "lookism," where Gimyong had one of the main roles.

he had often glanced toward your set during breaks, intrigued by the regal world of dragons and thrones. he'd heard about y&u from mutual crew members and quietly admired you from afar.

but today, fate seemed to favor him. a scheduling overlap meant both productions were on a break simultaneously. seizing the opportunity, Gimyong wandered over, pretending to be curious about the elaborate set design.

as you stepped outside, still in your flowing, black gown embroidered with red and gold threads, depicting scales, tails and heads of dragons on the sleeves and collar. you saw Gimyong standing nearby, looking somewhat out of place in his black coat. classic black trousers, white shirt and loafers amidst the medieval backdrop.

“hey, aren't you from "lookism?"” you asked, recognizing him from the posters plastered around the studio. he abruptly pulled his hand away from the blue weird machine that soon will be turned into your dragon with computers cgi effects help. he beamed at you, intensively nodding. he was a bit surprised but pleased you knew of him. “yeah, i'm Gimyong. i've been curious about your set for a while. it's got quite the atmosphere.”

you smiled, appreciating his interest. “it's definitely a different world over here. i'm [y/n], by the way.”

“it's nice to finally meet you,”he said, but paused himself for a moment, glancing back at weird blue platform. he noticed once, that your team usually shoot scenes of flying on dragon's back on this thing. brilliant pick up line immediately was born in his head.

“sooo that’s supposed to be your dragon on screen, right?” he grinned, swinging onto the platform from behind, trying to play it cool, but it came out a little awkward, as you can see he is clearly nervous. you giggled softly, but decided to play along, already understanding what he was leading to.

“yes, his name is Vermithor, really huge dragon.” you elegantly covered your mouth with your hand, trying to hide a shameless smile, at Gimyong’s attempt to flirt.

“you know, im kinda dragon myself, being the son of a golden dragon… so how about safe the dragon and ride-” you couldn't let him finish the sentence, bursting into laughter from his pickup line and such a self-confident face. Gimyong was truly humongous man.

in fact, he was not confused or upset by your laughter, because in the end he amused you. his light laugh joined yours and he was happy that he made you laugh.

“no, but seriously, i’ve heard great things about your performance.”

“thank you! it’s been a dream role for me,” you replied warmly, your genuine smile still playing on your lips. “i’ve seen a few episodes of lookism — i absolutely in love with it! your character is such a gentleman.” you exclaimed admiringly, remembering all the scenes where Gimyong was filming with his 'mother', and how cheerful his character was, representing a wonderful leader.

as you talked, the conversation flowed naturally, and Gimyong felt his initial nervousness fading away. he found himself captivated not just by your talent, but by your genuine enthusiasm and kindness.

“maybe you could give me a tour of your set sometime?” Gimyong suggested, hoping to extend the conversation — and his time with you.

“i’d love that,” you replied, intrigued by the idea. “and maybe i could visit yours. i’ve always been curious about how you bring such a cool fightings to life.”

with a shared promise to explore each other’s worlds, Gimyong returned to his set with a newfound excitement. meeting you had been even better than he imagined, and he couldn't wait when you will visit his set, to show off in front of you with his skills and muscles.

[we-were-beautiful]

Marry me

Xaden x Sorrengail!oc

WC: 816

Warnings: None just Fluff

A/N: Well I decided to take part in a small writing Challenge. I had fun writing this little blurb and while it has the potential to turn into its own series; I am going to show self restraint by not doing that. The prompt was "I can never say 'no to you" From Jana over at @creativepromptsforwriting

Also fair warning; I didn't send this to any of my betas. So we die like men at this point

Thank you to @skyfallscotland and @justallihere for putting together the Fourth Wing Birthday Bash

Last but not least tumbr is being dumb and won’t let me post from my laptop so apologies about the formatting

“We should get married” I comment wrapping my arms around my beloved’s shoulders, fingers gently tracing along the scars at the top of his shoulders. I look up into his gold flecked onyx eyes and smile widely at him. Was the flight field after lessons the best place to have this conversation, probably not, but I couldn’t help myself. It had been an interesting lesson with a storm about to roll in; the thunder off in the distance rolling. But now with the rest of the third years and Professor Kaori heading back to the citadel, I figured given Xaden a small heart attack would be fun.

Where I would expect to see shock and hesitance on his face I only see a fond smile as he wraps his arms around my waist to pull me into his chest.

“When do you want to get married and how do you want to tell your mother and sisters?” I hadn’t thought of that.

It would be pretty easy to tell Violet. If I could get her away from her squad it would be as simple as that. Mira I could just write a letter too. Shed be pissed at first; she had specifically told me to stay away from Xaden. That didn’t work out since we ended up in the same squad with mated dragons; but Mira could get over it. She’d be happy for me eventually.

My mother; however, I completely forgot about. General Sorrengail hadn’t been a fan of the relationship and she had made it known to me once the word had made it to her office. That had been the only time I had formally gotten called to her office to make her displeasure known; but its been three years. Xaden and I work well together and we have been in love with each other for awhile now. Not to mention we are kinda stuck with each other until one of us dies so at one point or another she’s just going to have to learn to live with it.

I feel Tairn’s amusement in the back of my mind. The old curmudgeon had been riding my ass this last week about acting like a love sick puppy around Xaden. Like his grumpy ass isn’t the exact same way around Sgaeyl.

‘I heard that’ the rumbling voice flows through my head.

‘You were supposed to.’ I felt Tairn’s snout push at my back sending me further into Xaden’ s grasp ‘Tairn!!!’ I can hear Sgaeyl chuckle in my head.

‘I think I shall go get some sheep’ I’m not sure if it is the mighty beat of our dragons wings or thunder, but as the two dragons fly off the heavens open up above us and cold rain begins to pour down. Xaden lets out a hearty laugh squeezing me tightly.

“When do you want to get married love.” He leans down to whisper in my ear repeating his earlier question.

“Want to grab Garrick, Bodhi, Liam and Vi and sneak down to Chantara.” I would do it; grab our family and secretly get married today if he agreed.

“How about we wait until graduation. We can get our family together, before we fly to our post, and have a small ceremony.” He pushes a soaked strand of hair away from my face. “Then it gives you time to let Mira know, so she can try and get leave” leave it to this perfect man to remember that I wanted Mira there when I got married. While Brennen had Mom and Violet had Dad it had been Mira and I against the world. I still had all of the letters we had wrote to each other while she was in the quadrant and then when I started second year. She had to be there on our special day; she would kill me if I ran off today and got married.

“Ok Graduation it is then.” He looks even more breathtaking in the rain as water droplets roll down his skin.

“Alright then lets go Mrs.Riorson.” He lets go of me and moves towards the hidden tunnel entrance.

“Wait.” I call grabbing his hand to stop him. “Kiss me?” Is it cheesy and straight out of the romance books that I brought into the quadrant, yes. But I had always wanted to be kissed in the rain.

“Have I ever been able to say ‘no’ to you.” He gently cradles my face in his hands tilting my face upwards; his lips crash into mine is a passionate kiss. It starts out innocent enough but my hands quickly find their way to his hair and one of his finds its way to my ass. When we break apart we are gasping for breath; Xaden rest his forehead against mine and hazel eyes meet onyx “Marry me?”

“Yes.” I laugh and pull him into another kiss.

[oizysian]

IX. PRETENDING TO BE HUMAN

All Eyes on Me masterlist

Word count: 1.8k

•

Two weeks came and went and it was finally the day of the Hattie Harmony book tour in New York City.

I nervously paced in my apartment, my anxiety kicking in full force at the thought of not only being around Lizzie again, this time without Brie, but being around strangers and out of my element.

I took a deep breath and checked my phone again for the hundredth time. It was nearly time for me to leave and I couldn't help but think of all the things that could go wrong.

I unlocked my phone and went to my messages, texting Claire that I was chickening out. My phone rang almost instantly and I hesitated a moment before answering.

"Do not chicken out!"

"I'm freaking out. The first time was okay 'cos I was with Brie, but now I'll be on my own."

"And you'll be fine. I know you don't go out much because of your anxiety, but you need to do this. You'll regret it if you don't go."

"I know, you're right. I'll hate myself if I stay home instead of being there for Lizzie's big day."

"See? Do you wanna let your wife down? No, so get yourself ready and get down to that book tour."

"Okay, mom." I laughed, saying my goodbyes to my best friend and finally getting myself ready to go out.

It took me no more than ten minutes to get ready and call an Uber to take me into the city. I was beyond nervous - hell, I was damn scared, but I had to play it cool. I had to pretend that I was a normal human with no issues going out and functioning around other human beings.

The crowd in front of the bookstore was insane, and I realized most of them were decked out in Scarlet Witch gear. I smiled to myself, hanging back as everyone piled into the store. She had loyal fans, that was for sure.

I fixed my hat and walked in, making sure I had enough standing room in the back to be comfortable. Most people were scrunched up in the front, sitting in front of a few chairs that were placed at the head of the room.

There were some young children there, but it was mostly teenagers or older people like myself. She wrote a children's book for adults by the look of the room.

When Elizabeth and Robbie entered the room with their copies of Hattie Harmony, the crowd erupted into applause, and I could see her smiling and waving at everyone from where I was hiding out.

They took their seats and I watched as she scanned the room, looking for something, or someone.

Our gazes finally met and I could see her beautiful green eyes light up with happiness as she gave me a little wave. I smiled and waved back, and she began reading the book to the crowd.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her as she read. She looked so happy sitting there with Robbie, both of them taking turns reading the book they wrote together.

It was at that moment I knew I had absolutely no chance. She would never feel for me the way she does him. They had a book together, a life, a home, and I was just a streamer. I was nobody. And I always would be a nobody.

I heard whispering beside me and I turned to look. A young boy was talking to his mother, looking up at me with big, bright eyes. I smiled at him and he pulled on her sleeve excitedly.

"That's Y/N!" His whisper came out a bit louder than his mother would've liked.

I nearly blanched at his words, realizing that I had just been recognized. In public. I looked from him to Lizzie, who was still reading to the children sitting in the front row. His mother turned to me and gave me an apologetic look and I just smiled at her silently. This was Lizzie's moment, not mine.

A few kids around us had heard the little boy and were looking around for me. I nervously inched towards the door, not exactly ready to flee, but definitely needing some space from all of the young people about to recognize me.

I met the eyes of a few people and I brought my finger up to my lips, then pointed at Lizzie. They nodded and smiled, returning their attention to the woman of the hour.

I let out a sigh of relief as the attention was finally off me and back on the couple at the front of the room. This was the first time I had ever been noticed while I was out, which is probably because I didn't get out much. I also forgot to take into consideration that I had just been photographed with Lizzie not long ago, so people were bound to recognize me.

They finished the book and everyone applauded, and they started setting up tables so they could give out autographs. I got in line, grabbing a copy of the book as I waited. I didn't particularly want Robbie's autograph, but I knew Lizzie would get a kick out of me asking for one.

When I finally got up to the front, I handed her the book and she looked up at me briefly before doing a double take and smiling brightly at the sight of me.

"You came." She said as she happily signed my book, passing it over to Robbie and letting him sign it as well.

"I promised."

"Here you go." Robbie handed back my book, smiling at me.

I smiled back, a hint of guilt creeping up from the pit of my stomach as I looked at him.

"Can you hang around after the signing?" She asked and I nodded.

"I'll be back by the manga."

"What's manga?" She asked, her head tilting in confusion.

"It's cartoons on paper. You'll find me."

I smiled at her and walked off, letting her finish her event and browsed through the store. After about five minutes of wandering around, I found the manga section and waited, mindlessly poking at the books on the shelves.

"Excuse me." A voice said from behind me.

I turned around and saw a girl, probably in her late teens, standing with Lizzie's book in her hand ... and my hat on her head.

"Can you sign my hat? You're a huge inspiration to me and I just love you and Lizzie together."

I blushed a fierce, deep red at her words, taking her pen and her hat and signing it wordlessly.

"Thank you! You guys make a really cute couple. Bye!"

She waved and walked off and I stood there dumbly, unable to comprehend what just happened. Did that actually just happen? Do people actually ship us together?

"Hey!" A voice called out to me and I turned around, seeing Lizzie and Robbie approaching me.

"H-hey." I stuttered out.

She gave me a look and furrowed her brow at the look of me.

"You okay? You're all flushed."

"Yeah, I just ... a girl asked for my autograph. It took me by surprise."

"Aw, that's sweet! Have you ever given one before?"

"No, this was my first time."

"That's amazing! I'm so happy for you!"

She closed the distance between us and hugged me, squeezing me tight. I wrapped my arms around her after a second of hesitation and took in the moment. This would be the extent of our intimate moments; hugs and cuddles. No, no more cuddles. Those are dangerous. Just hugs.

She pulled away and took hold of my hands, bouncing ever so slightly in excitement.

"Do you have plans? You can come to dinner with us!"

"N-no, I really couldn't." I couldn't tell her that I felt horribly awkward around her and her husband.

"Please join us," Robbie cut in. "I'd love to know more about the woman Lizzie can't stop raving about."

She gave his arm a light smack, her face turning a slight pink at his words.

"How could I say no after hearing that?" I teased her and she covered her face with her hands.

"I just told him about all the fun we had." Her voice came out muffled.

"You wouldn't even know Brie was there from how she was telling it."

"Robbie, shut up."

She was red as a tomato now and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm glad you had such a good time with me - I mean us." I smirked at her and it was my turn to get a smack.

"Don't start. I had a good time with both of you."

I smiled widely like a happy fool and followed them out of the bookstore, letting them lead on to wherever they planned on having dinner.

•

They picked a fancy Italian restaurant which I had never been to before, and they ordered wine - which I declined. I wasn't about to say or do something I would regret in front of Robbie.

Lizzie and Robbie sat next to each other and I sat across from them, eating contently. Suddenly, I felt something touch my leg and I peeked up at Lizzie. Her head was down, looking towards her food, but I noticed a shift in her eyes and saw that she was looking at me from under her eyelashes.

I nudged the thing that touched me and it nudged back. I held in a laugh as I realized Lizzie was kicking me under the table.

She let out a giggle and Robbie gave her a strange look before switching his gaze over to me. I tried to keep a straight face, but I couldn't. Her giggles were infectious and I joined in, both of us laughing at the fact that we were acting like children, having a good time.

"Am I missing something?" He asked, chuckling slightly himself at the sight of us.

"Lizzie kicked me." I said as she kicked my shin. "Ow!" I laughed. "You meanie."

"I'm sorry," she said, completely unapologetic. "I didn't realize you were such a softy."

"I'm very sensitive."

"Sensitive, my ass. You kicked me back, remember?"

"Only 'cos you didn't stop."

"Children, do you both need a time out?" Robbie said and we both laughed again, fully enjoying our time together.

Even being with Robbie wasn't all that bad. He seemed like a nice guy and he made Lizzie happy so I had no reason to dislike him other than the fact that he was married to her.

As the night ended, they dropped me back off at my apartment, Lizzie getting out with me to hug me.

"We still need to get that pumpkin ice cream."

I made a face.

"I was hoping you'd forget."

"No way. And I still have your sweater."

"That's true. Okay, name the time and place."

"How about I pick you up? I'll text you the time, okay?"

"Okay. Bye Lizzie. Bye Robbie." I waved at him through the window and gave Lizzie one more smile before turning and heading inside.

I watched from the window as she got back in the car and they drove away, and I let out a deep breath. I was exhausted. Pretending to be a human really took a lot out of me.

•

@oh-thats-cute @marvelwomen-simp @dorabledewdroop @scarlie-johalsen-blog

[verycharismaticdragon]

Currently reading a Korean webnovel instead of Chinese ones and this is making me conceptualize something, let’s see if I can put it in words…

My musings started with realizing that I’ve become very used to this cnovels thing where the main pairing is literally stated in the summary. Not the case for the k-novel I’m reading, and therefore I’m experiencing Pain and Suffering, — torn between my every instinct screaming that the author is setting up the OT3 endgame, and trying to lower my expectations to avoid disappointment. (And the novel is ongoing so I can’t even get spoilers for the ending :) girl help.)

As you may’ve guessed, I found myself strongly preferring the Chinese variant; but as to why exactly it was so important for my enjoyment to know the main couple… it took me a bit to figure out.

I mean, it’s not like I’m reading exclusively for romance, okay? Fannish activity-wise, sure, I tend to get fixated on ships (though even then, not all the time), but when it comes to reading (or any media intake, really), it’s not necessarily what I’m most interested in. Among my beloved titles, there are many where there’s no canon or fanon couple I'm attached to — and more than a few where there’s a canon couple that I neither love nor hate, just accept. So why did I get so attached to the concept of being, essentially, spoiled the endgame couple beforehand?

The key word that made it click was: promise. After all, it’s not like knowing the names of the characters that get together tells me anything about if they will be interesting or boring together, if they will be good for each other or make me scream “break up!” a million times. But it is a solid promise that these two people ARE gonna be a couple. 

And thinking about the word promise reminded me of discussions on plot twists that I’ve seen on here, about what makes a good plot twist and what makes a bad one — specifically, the phrase “narrative promise” that someone came up with. Basically, narrative promise is in the set up and the build up. If the plot twist betrays the narrative promise, it will not work, and it will be hated by the audience, who’ll feel like their emotional investment into the story was mocked.

The thing about the narrative promise, and why this term stuck with me, is that it’s actually applicable more broadly than just for shock-factor plot twists. For example: what is queerbaiting, if not betraying the narrative promise that the two characters are gonna be together? The fans see the narrative promise — the set up and the build up that would be unequivocally romantic for a het couple — and expect it to be fulfilled; only to be called delusional by the very creators that gave them this expectation. 

And this brings me to the next point: the catch of the “narrative promise” is that it’s never a guarantee. You can be completely sure the author is setting up X, only for them to turn around and do something completely different. (Possibly while calling you a little bitch for having the stupidity to invest your feelings into their creation, too.) After a while, a fan learns to manage their expectations. To not bet too much on anything, even if it feels like there’s no other way it can go. To wait until the end of the season or the last chapter before allowing themselves to get attached; to hold back on deciding whether something is good or not, lest they hype up something they will want to bury and forget later.

And this is where we circle back to c-novels, and to spoiling the main couple in the summary. Except I hesitate to call it “spoiling” because, as discussed, it actually heightens my enjoyment. For a simple reason: this practice takes the narrative promise from its nebulous, uncertain status to something concrete and real. Only for this one aspect and with the minimal-est amount of information possible, but still. That’s one thing I don’t have to guess about or doubt myself on (am I seeing things? is there a heterosexual explanation another way to read this? will the author simply kill off one of the characters before the end so that they don’t have to decide whether to make them explicitly queer?), and one thing I can count on (whatever else happens in the plot, I’ll still have this). It’s easy to invest emotionally into those characters and their relationship, when you have an assurance of their happy ending.

Ofc, I’m not saying that I don’t invest emotionally into relationships or characters other than the main CP — just that it is easier. And I would even say having this one(1) hard promise makes it easier to invest into other elements of the work, too, as it makes for a sort of safety net even if something else is disappointing or painful. 

Like, say you are invested in one couple with great chemistry and one side character. In case of a pre-stated ship, even if the side character dies, at least you still have the canon couple. So it’s not like all of your emotional connection to the book is lost, and you can probably bear with the loss of that character by writing everybody lives AU or something. But if the side character dies AND the couple you were invested in gets broken up or killed off or straight-married with other ppl… then doesn’t that make the entire thing into one massive disappointment? to the point that you might even regret picking up the book that made you care only to slap you in the face?.. 

So yeah, having even just one ship guaranteed is very comforting. And then I thought, well, doesn’t this apply to another type of fiction that I’m very familiar with?

Fanfiction?

Which, since very early on, has adopted the practice of putting the endgame ship in the header of the fic. And which, probably not coincidentally, is often a response to a broken (or at the very least not brought to its logical conclusion) narrative promise. And which always felt uniquely easy to read for me… 

See, prior to getting on this little thought train, I always assumed the ease was due to pre-existing familiarity with canon. You know, not having to learn the entire new setting, already having attachment to the characters… But now that I’ve connected these dots, I thought about times I read fics for fandoms I wasn’t familiar with, and originals formatted as fics — and really, wasn’t it always about the narrative promise made solid? 

Esp with how fics make it even broader than cnovels, by having extensive tags and ratings and such. Getting into a fic, you have a pretty clear idea of what may or may not happen in the story, even if you don’t know what exactly will happen or how. And a fic can fail to live up to the premise set up by ship/rating/tags — but not completely turn its back on it. 

(Well, normally. But in those exceptional cases where tags are misleading, at least you have something to point to when saying, “this is not what I was promised”. The ficwriter can hardly claim they don't understand why you expected [ship] to happen when they personally tagged their work as containing that ship — unlike the traditional media creators, who can always play the "you were totally misunderstanding my intentions the entire time" card.)

And having a solid promise like this, it turns out, takes lotsa pressure off starting a New Unfamiliar thing. I do, in fact, trust like that! So it’s no wonder that there were periods in my life when I would only consume fanfiction, because it was so much easier than extending trust to new titles. And it’s no wonder that what brought me back to being an avid reader were Chinese webnovels that use a practice very similar to what we have in fandoms.

I guess I understand myself better now! Still wish I knew if that k-novel's author is /j or /srs about the ot3 though.

[hiemaldesirae]

The Hazbin Graduate’s Guide to Homicide (3)

HAZBIN'S MIDSEMESTER STUDENT REPORT Student: Vox Vanhal Supervising Staff: Professor Enoch Leviathan Sponsor: Not Applicable To the Board: Vox Vanhal may be one of the most brilliant students this school has seen in decades. In all my years of teaching at Hazbin, I have never met a student more insanely ready to learn and apply their skills- due in part, of course, to said student's own possible insanity. I mean this in a jovial way, of course, but I will admit that when young Vanhal's true identity was revealed to me that my first thought was along the lines of 'is this student insane?' Whether or not my student's reason should be called into question is something myself and my fellow professor Asmodeus have discussed in length, but there is one thing that we can definitively agree on: If there is any one student in this school who I would choose to place my bets on, it would be Vox Vanhal. There is nothing more to say at this time of report evaluation. Sincerely, Professor Leviathan.

May God's blessings be with you now and at the hour of our deaths, Amen.

[ 1 ] / [ 2 ] (<- read these first for context and more murder academy radiostatic content!)

Though Alastor may have thought that Vox was much more knowledgable in how Hazbin's Institution for Homicide worked, the truth was, Vox was still fully flying on the seat of his own coattails.

He had no damn clue what he was doing still, and although it'd been two weeks since he'd arrived, part of him still felt like how he did when he'd first arrived: hesitant, scared, not knowing where to go or what to do besides the want to make his boss suffer as he killed him.

That level of animosity might sound strange to anyone not a Hazbin student or alumnus, but it was perfectly normal for any student enrolled in the academy to have such feelings. After all, there was quite a rigorous process involved in the application, and for Vox, this application process (and what led to it) was perhaps more intense than most.

There had once been a time where Vox had dreamed of becoming a Hollywood starlet, one who lit up the silver screen and was blessed by hundreds of thousands of cheering, dedicated fans who would fawn over his every move and action. He'd wanted to follow in his mother's footsteps, at one point. But after taking on his first roles in Carmine Studios, the glamour of Hollywood had shattered like fine glass.

"Miss Vesper! Would you please look over here for a second?"

"Miss Vesper, when is your next movie coming out?!"

"Miss Vesper, is it true that you and your co-star on Anna Karenina, Valentino Vega had an affair-?"

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! That- fucking bastard!" Vox rushed into the privacy of his and Val's shared apartment, slamming the door behind him as he collapsed into the couch, head cradled in his hands. He couldn't even begin to start detailing the number of ways he'd wanted to fucking butcher and rip apart his boss.

Andrealphus Goetia was no stranger to the spotlight, naturally. One of Hollywood's top directors, the man had been an influential cornerstone in the history of movie-making, a real legend to light the days. But behind that picturesque platinum reputation laid a monstrous piece of shit.

It had been a complete accident that Andrealphus had found out about Vox's identity.

Vox himself hadn't even really planned out what to do about himself at that point, only that he'd known that the dresses he wore on screen were far more suited to his best friend than they were for him. Knew that the copious amounts of makeup flattened on him everyday made him feel more like a clown than a princess, that it was the most uncomfortable feeling to have to sit and play the pretty face for the audience's sake.

But he persisted, telling himself, one more year, one more year til my savings account has enough to supply Val and I with a comfortable life and we can leave.

But of course- of course Andrealphus had to ruin it for him.

The man had found out and immediately proceeded to blackmailing Vox with the information, holding things such as promotions, media gossip and rumors over his head. And now... now... Vox stared down at the script he held clutched in his hand, his knuckles turning white as he grasped it with an iron grip.

"Dieser verdammte bastard," Vox muttered under his breath.

Though he'd never loved the spotlight that came with his first taste of fame, he had loved acting. Had loved being adored for his skill, applauded for the emotions that he could evoke in crowds of people and the way he could twist people's hearts. He had wanted to be one of the best, a household name.

And now, he stared down at the script for a movie that Andrealphus knew would tank his reputation. It was absolute bullshit. The plot was held together by thin strings and a bit of glue, despite being an adaptation of one of the past decade's best selling books. Not only that, but the moment he left the safety of the apartment once more, he would also have to contend with the rumors that were steadily piling against him and dragging his loved ones and friends into it too.

All this, because Vox had refused to sleep with his shitty boss.

He could still hear the fucker's voice- come on, don't you wanna say that you got a piece of me? I'll even leave out the part about you being a transvestite, darling, just the fact that I got a piece of you is enough.

God. If only.... if only he could see that bastard's face when he crushed his fucking skull in between his hands. He wanted to see Andrealphus' stupid face contort in revulsion and terror when Vox finally did the deed, wanted to bathe in the the fotze's inbred blood. He'd do anything for the chance to just kill that piece of shit-

"Amorcito?"

Val's voice makes Vox jump on the spot, quickly shifting to hide the script from view. His friend comes around the corner, eyebrows furrowed with concern, and it's this that makes Vox break his composure, a single tear falling down his face as Val frowns, taking a seat next to him on the couch. "Voxxy, amor... tell me what's wrong."

And because he can never keep his mouth shut when it comes to his best friend, Vox tells him everything. Val nods along, pauses at the right moments, all of that stuff that friends do when they're trying to let you know that they'd rip apart your shitty boss if not for the law.

But- and perhaps this is something that Vox knew deep down to be true anyway- Val was a bit different in that aspect. He'd met the man under... less than legal circumstances, after all, and he knew that Val was the heir to quite the illustrous cartel career.

So when Valentino stops him with a firm hand on the shoulder and hands him an application paper for Hazbin, telling him to think it through, Vox barely takes even a second glance at it before filling it out.

Now, two months later and sitting in the auditorium of Hazbin's famed Music Hall, Vox doesn't find himself regretting the decision. Sure, it's a bit lonely without Val's supporting presence by his side, but the students he's met so far have proved to be some of the friendliest people he's had the pleasure of knowing: ironic, considering the kind of school they're studying at. And he's even managed to make a friend! Not that bad a start, altogether.

Vox absentmindedly doodles on the edge of his notes as Professor Leviathan's soothing voice lectures them on the importance of a proper alibi. "If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, but it has an airtight alibi, it is...?"

"Not a duck," the auditorium echoes back to the professor, who nods, looking satisfied with the class's response. "So, then! The first step to alibi making is...? Miss Velvette, perhaps you'd like to answer this one for us?"

The girl sitting beside Vox shoots up in her seat, looking as if she'd just fallen asleep and was awoken by the professor's question. "Uh... the..."

After a moment of silence and stuttering, Vox takes pity on the girl, sliding Velvette over a slide of paper that she squints at before reading. "Make sure you're in a different place from the crime?"

"And how would I do that?"

"I... uh. Use an accomplice...?" Velvette stutters.

Professor Leviathan shakes his head, looking disappointed. "Not quite. One thing you will have to learn at Hazbin's is that you should never rely on any other person to carry your deed out for you. No hiring accomplices- after all, paid personnel's loyalty is shaky and they have no honor code preventing them from taking you to the police- and absolutely no committing crimes as lovers, unless you can guarantee that neither of you will be snitching. Would anyone else like to take a try?"

Vox raises his hand hesitantly. "Move the crime scene or otherwise obscure the culprit?"

Professor Leviathan snaps his fingers, "Yes! Absolutely. One of the best ways to make yourself an iron clad alibi is, if the pope is shot in the church at midnight, make sure that you are seen halfway across town in the bar at midnight; so drunk that you cannot even leave until your wife comes to pick you up at two- and no one will suspect you, even if he was actually killed right outside the pub and moved to the church instead. By moving the crime scene, you can make yourself an ironclad alibi. Obscuring the identity of the perpetrator and making it someone who couldn't possibly be you also works splendidly. After all, if the police believe the murderer to be a six foot tall adult man, then the actual perpetrator, a four foot tall young woman, would be able to pass by completely unnoticed. Thank you for that input, Vox. Now, onto the actual creation of such an alibi..."

When class ends, Vox is the first to leave his seat and head for the door, intending on leaving and getting to Track with Professor Satan as quick as possible when someone stops him in his tracks with a firm grip on his shoulder.

"Hey. Vox Vanhal, right?"

"That would be me, yes," Vox turns to face the person he's talking to, only to be met with the young woman that Professor Leviathan had called out in class earlier. "You were... Velvette?"

"Yep, that's me," the chipper young woman responds. "Listen, I know you don't know me at all, but I really need to get through this school year. Like- look, okay, I'm in a little bit over my head right now. I still want to go here and do what everyone here does, of course, I'd love to just go and plunge a damn butcher's knife into my cunt of an ex-friend's neck, but... well, you saw how I did back in class- look, what I'm trying to get at is I need someone to help me. And you're like, Leviathan's star student. So- I don't care what I have to do, I'll-"

Vox holds up a hand to stop her.

"I don't need you to do anything for me, unless you've got any tips on how to kill my boss and make him suffer during it. But I'll help you with whatever you need to study during your courses. Just..." He pauses, taking a moment to think out what he's about to ask. "Could you teach me how you did your makeup on your own?"

Velvette blinks, clearly not expecting that response. She laughs, a shrill, sharp bark and grabs his hand to shake it firmly. "Yeah, 'course I can. So, do we have a deal?"

"We do," Vox smiles. "Pleased to make your acquaintance."

[strwberri-milk]

May I request if possible a gn!/afab!reader who responds aggressively to kaeya’s flirting bc they are afraid to fall in love?

You know that Kaeya is a flirt. It's pretty obvious from the second you meet him that he has sweetened words for everyone he comes across, yourself included.

Paying him no mind, you treat him the way you would treat anybody else. However, to him and the blooming feelings he has for you this isn't enough. He needs to see you react more, wants to see if he can make you flustered by his words.

When he ups the ante and flirts with you more you can't help but lash out. You try to keep calm, but the way he speaks to you feels insulting. To you, it's a reminder of how he's just teasing you and that he doesn't mean any of the sweet things he says.

Your cold indifference escalates to outright refusal, things coming to a head one day when all your issues come to a head. You already woke up in a foul mood, and Kaeya flirting with you and reminding you that the thing you feared the most was being dangled right in front of you made things less than optimal, giving him a look he didn't expect.

"Just quit it already." You say coldly, much to Kaeya's shock.

"Quit what? What are you talking about?" he says, raising a brow. He knows you aren't the biggest fan of his flirting, but you'd never reacted this badly.

"Quit acting like you love me or something. You know how awful it is of you to do that to me?!"

"Hey, what do you -"

You don't give him the chance to finish his sentence before storming off, leaving him confused and upset.

He'll confront you again on your doorstep, holding the door open with his hand as he tries to explain to you that he's being genuine. You aren't buying it, arms crossed as you glare at him from your doorway.

Kaeya is practically imploring you at this point and you don't believe him until he's got his arm wrapped around your waist and he's pulling you in. You think you're about to call his bluff when he presses his lips against yours in a way that's both desperate and soft.

Your eyes are wide and when he steps back and opens his again you can see the worry in his gaze. He's trying so hard to be subtle about it but the fact that you haven't responded is worrying him too much. He's afraid to even ask and you just sigh, biting the bottom of your lip.

"Was that not clear enough to you? Do you need me to do something else to prove that I care about you?" he asks softly, knowing he should have expected rejection yet still wishing it didn't sting this hard.

"It's not that. I just..."

You try to find the words to convey your fears and hesitation, the fact that you know you'll only be hurt if you let this go on for too long.

"We can take it at your own pace. How about that?"

Kaeya seems a little desperate, still holding you in his arms as you give him an uncertain look. You don't know how to respond, but it seems he's sort of figured out where your lack of a response lies, resting his forehead on yours.

"I'm scared too. I've never let myself feel this way for anybody before because I know it'll end badly. But, there's something different about you. We can try this together, learn how to grow together and if you change your mind you'll always have an out. How does that sound?"

He sounds so vulnerable and unlike himself usually and you're inclined to believe him with how quiet his voice is. You can barely hear him over the pounding of your own heart and against your better judgment, you nod.

[muwapsturniolo]

✯✯𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐢𝐬𝐡 º 𝐂. 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨✯✯

Track .002 ☆ I'm Not Angry Anymore

pt.1

IN WHICH… Killisi-Star, mainly known as Blue Jay, finally returns to Boston after 17 years. As she tries to find her place back in her father’s life and deal with her trauma, she rekindles an old flame from her childhood. Arguments are had, secrets are revealed, and promises are broken.

WARNINGS... ANGST, DRUGS, SEIZURES, ABSENT PARENTS

Back home.

Home being Boston Massachusetts.

I never thought I would be back here after everything that's happened, it's a scary thought and an even frightening reality.

I wasn't always scared to come back, at one point I craved it, yearning for bipolar weather and the community I once had. That changed when I got to 6th grade, it seemed as if everything fell apart. My dad, Gerald, stopped visiting, claiming he was too busy to come down and see me. It hurt, but I didn't fault him for it. I only started to fault him when no visits turned into no calls, and no calls turned into him completely forgetting about me...Although I don't think he completely forgot considering he still sent gammy money to take care of me and would speak to me through her.

It hurt, knowing your own father, someone who helped create your life, made the choice to shut you out.

I was angry for years, crying myself to sleep and shouting to Gammy that I Hate him, and never wanted to see him again. But, with the help of a therapist, I managed to not be so angry.

His actions weren't right, but he had to have a reason.

So here I am at 22 years old, standing in front of my childhood home.

Gammy encouraged me to go, claiming my father does miss me and asks about me all the time, as well as wishing I was back home. I don't know how true those claims are, but my heart told me to give it a shot. He doesn't know that I'm coming, he also doesn't know that I packed up all of my things to move back in, but we will deal with it later.

I stare up at the house, taking a hit of my cigarette.

I could never figure out why my dad kept the house. Why would he want to be in the house where his wife cheated on him, and his baby girl had a seizure and almost died? But he grew up in this house, it holds all his childhood memories as well as the ones with me.

Without wasting another moment, I stomp the cigarette out and approach the front door. I raise my hand only to put it back down.

Anxiety sets in.

I feel my fingers twitch, itching for the multiple nicotine sticks in my pocket. I shake it off and knock on the door.

Instantly the door swings open and I'm greeted by a white boy I've never seen before. We stare at each other in shock for a few seconds before he speaks, "Umm, who are you?"

"I uh- I um- Are you a fan?" I frown at him in confusion. "A fan? Of what? I'm here because my dad lives here." The boy rolls his eyes and scoffs, " Yeah right. Have some fucking respect!" He goes on a tangent about fans not respecting him or ''the boys'' and all I can do is just stand there and take his words.

"So who are you claiming to be your dad anyway?"

"Gerald Grant."

It's almost uncanny how he freezes, his eyes widening in shock.

He knows something.

"Do you know him? Or where he lives?"

"He lives here...with me, my mom, and my half-sister."

Now it's my turn to tense, my heart dropping to the pits of my stomach at the newfound information. He remarried, and had another child? How come he never told me? Did Gammy know? is that why he disappeared from my life?

The silence between the two of us is ear-piercing, or maybe it's the ringing in my ears. He slowly untenses his limbs, but I can tell he's still unsure and put off with everything.

"Why don't you come inside?"

I say nothing, just giving a curt nod in response. I take a hesitant step inside the house, the air thick and suffocating. I slide off my boots off by the door and follow the boy through the house, despite already knowing the layout.

"I uh... have a couple of friends over right now, we all just came in like half an hour ago. Did you want to chill with us?" his words are awkward and strained, almost as if he doesn't want to be talk to me or be anywhere near me.

I don't blame him, I don't want to be around him either.

"uhh Sure." He nods and guides me to the living room. I walk behind him and look around the hallway.

My heartbreaks.

The pictures of me, Bonnie, and Isaiah were taken down and replaced with him and his new family. Multiple pictures of the boy in front of me dressed in sports gear, a girl who could be a few years younger in dance cheer uniforms, and pictures of him with an older woman.

He looks happy.

Would he be that happy seeing me?

We arrive in the living room and I see three boys sprawled out on the couch, nose-deep in their phones.

"Guys-" the boy starts catching their attention. They snap their heads up and their eyes immediately land on me. My eyes widen in shock and my mouth parts,

There's no way, right?

"There's no fucking way!"

"Hey Nick..." Next thing I know, four arms are wrapped around me, squeezing me tightly. I let out a genuine laugh of happiness, a smile gracing my face as they expressed how excited they were to see me again.

"Holy shit, I can't believe you're here!"

"We haven't seen you in like- 17 years" I turn and look at Chris who is still on the couch, a wary expression on his face. He seems indifferent towards me where as Nick and Matt are over the moon. It hurts considering Chris and I used to be as thick as thieves, but things change.

"I'm sorry to interrupt the reunion but, who the hell are you actually? All you have said is that you're Geralds daughter."

"My name is Killisi-Star, but I usually go by Star" I explain softly, trying to ignore Chris's eyes burning into the side of my head.

"Ok, but how do you know the triplets?"

"She was our best friend before she just up and left." it's clear Chris is hurt, I would be too if it was the other way around, but his words do nothing but make me even more anxious.

"Come sit down! Let's catch up!" Nick states, already grabbing my hand and dragging me to sit. I'm pushed back next to Chris, my body squished between him and Nick.

I hug myself and cross my legs, Nick immediately noticing and scoffing. "Get comfortable Blue, This is your house too."

I look down awkwardly at his words.

This hasn't been my home since I was five. I don't even belive it's my home now considering he has a new family.

It grows quiet but Matt quickly fixes that, "So blue, how were you these past years?"

"I've been decent...." I awkwardly respond. Despite feeling some type of happiness to be around the boys, I haven't seen them in years. It's awkward being around people you used to call your best friends and yet, you have nothing to tell them...At least nothing good.

I decide to switch the conversation back to them, "How have you all been? What have you been up to?"

Nick and Matt talk over each other, telling me how their home burnt down, them moving, to their career now as YouTubers. I was shocked to hear they moved to LA for a few years despite ultimately choosing to move back to Boston. it's interesting to see how much their lives have changed, and yet they seem like the same three boys I loved and spent every second with.

They were always animated children, bouncing off the walls as if they had copious amounts of sugar. It made sense that they decided to be YouTubers instead of going to college or doing something else with their life.

"Youtube is cool, I'll have to check you guys out sometime"

We spend the next few hours laughing and talking. I find myself analyzing each of them. Matt is still the same, but he's changed a bit. He's still a quiet person, ever only chiming in when he has the chance to speak or has something to say. His ears are now pierced and he has a bunch of tattoos as well.

Nick is still the same as when we were kids, dramatic and always thinking he's right. He has his dad moments but evens it out by also being loud and animated. He's the oldest so it makes sense for him to somewhat be the leader. Throughout the talk, he kept me close as if I would leave again. I didn't mind it though....It was comforting.

Chris was... different. He was usually toe to toe with Nick in being the loud one, he was always jumping around causing chaos, living up to the title of being the youngest sibling.

But he was quiet today.

Part of me wants to believe he truly did change and grew out of his chaotic personality, but the realistic side of me knows it's my fault he's so quiet at the moment.

Then there's Nathan. He's kind of an ass... At least to me he is. Anything I said he would make a side remark in response to, or scoff at. I can tell he was uncomfortable with me being here, it's not easy hearing your stepdad has a whole child he never mentioned.

Overall the group is nice, I don't see myself willingly hanging out with any of them. It could be because I like being alone, but it could also be because I don't fit in anymore. Maybe if I never left Boston things could be different, but unfortunately, these are the consequences of that night.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts by a car engine, "That must be Gerald" Nate mutters without looking up from his phone.

My hands instantly begin to sweat, my heart beating a mile a minute. I clench and unclench my hands as I try to keep my breathing steady, "Should you hide and surprise him?" Nick asks with a wide smile.

"I-I-I don't k-k-know."

So many thoughts are reeling through my head, I can't even hear the front door opening and closing. Suddenly I'm yanked off the couch and pulled behind the wall separating the dining room and living room.

I'm shocked to see the culprit is Chris. This whole day he hasn't been talking to me or even looking at me, and now he's hiding me.

I don't have the chance to ask him what he's doing due to my father's voice being heard. "Nate, who's car is that with all those boxes outside?"

Hearing his voice after 11 years sends me into a state of shell shock.

I hear a pair of footsteps making me turn around, I turn around and see my dad's back. "Did one of you boys get a new car?"

"No."

"So whose car is-Blue Jay?"

Tears form in my eyes at the shock on his face.

"Hi Daddy."

He drops all of his stuff and pulls me into a tight hug, picking me up and spinning me around. I let out a laugh mixed with a sob, hugging him tightly. He sets me down but doesn't let me go, holding me close to his chest.

We stay like this for about five minutes in silence before he breaks it,

"I've missed you so much Blue."

"I missed you too daddy."

I pull away from him and take him in.

He's getting old.

His hair is grey, his eye bags are a little prominent, and he now has a gold tooth.

"What are you doing here? How come you and Gammy didn't say anything." I sniffle and smile at him sadly, "I told Gammy not to tell you because I wanted it to be a surprise... I haven't seen you since Sixth grade or had a chance to speak with you and I...I miss you." He returns the sympathetic smile and holds my face. " I miss you too Blue, I-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for disappearing from your life, you didn't deserve that I'm- It's ok...I'm not angry anymore."

He gives me a somber look, all the emotions he's holding in showing through his eyes. I can tell he's mad at himself for doing what he did, but also disappointed about missing out on so much of my life. He caresses my face, looking at me in admiration. "You've gotten so big. You're a grown woman now. 23 turning 24 next year, you have all these piercings! Jesus, last time I saw you, you were a 12-year-old and was going through your emo phase." I laugh at his words.

"You've grown too! You have a head full of grey hair and a gold tooth." He laughs and pulls me into another hug. "It's so good to have you back sweetheart. How long are you staying?"

"I um-" I pull away and pick at my sweater, "-I was hoping I could move back in...If you're -OF COURSE YOU CAN!" He picks me up and spins me once again.

"Oh, this just made my week! I can't wait until Flora and Jasmine come home! Oh, this is just great!"

I should be excited, I'm back home and my dad is happy to see me. But I can't help but feel some type of dejection as he mentions Flora and Jasmine. I don't know who's who exactly, but it hurts to now know the names of people who replaced me in my father's life. I'm pulled out of my thoughts by him continuing to speak excitedly.

"Oh! We have to get your stuff moved in!" I shake my head, "no, It's late! I can do it tomorrow."

"Too late Blue Jay!" I look past my Dad and see Matt and the other boys holding boxes. "Down the hall to the right?" Chris questions. My dad laughs, "You know it Chris!"

"Let me change and then we can catch up! Oh, I'll call Flora and tell her to pick up up burgers, gravy fries, and even some Oreo cake!"

"You remember my order from Cindy's?" I question softly.

"Of course I do! I have it every Saturday!" I throw my arms around him and take in a shakey breath, my whole body filled with warmth.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too Blue-Jay, with my whole life."

It was now 9 o'clock and Flora and Jasmine came home. It was an awkward interaction on my end, not really knowing what to say to them. It became even more awkward when my dad told Jasmine about us being siblings.

Jasmine was pretty. A pretty that would make girls envy her and boys do anything. It was mindboggling, her whole vibe was ethereal yet intimidating at the same time. She had curly black hair that was messy, dark skin, full lips, and a body of a goddess. She stood at 5'7 and her presence was captivating. "My name's Jasmine! It's nice to meet you!" even her voice was captivating, smooth like butter and warm like brown sugar. She had a beautiful smile, teeth a shining white.

"Yeah...Nice to meet you as well." I didn't mean to be so awkward or brush her off, it was a defense mechanism I developed as I got older and people mistake me for being rude.

"Oh my god! I'm so excited to finally have a sister! It's annoying having Nate around all the time! Now we can gang up on him!" I give her an awkward smile. She was a yapper and I was anything but.

"Alright alright, let us eat!" My dad says. Everyone gathers in the kitchen, but I don't move.

It's like I'm stuck, stuck staring at the tiled floors seeing my own 5-year-old body on the ground convulsing.

My dad notices me and a look of realization comes across his face. "Actually, let's eat in the living room." Flora gives him a look but he ignores it. I don't want her to be irritated with me so I shake my head, "No... The kitchen is fine." He looks at me and I nod. Everyone moves into the kitchen but it takes me a second.

Not wanting to cause a scene, I slowly walk into the kitchen. I avoid looking at the lights and sit down in the empty seat next to Chris. "You ok?" He whispers. I hum and nod my head, planting a fake smile on my face.

Everyone grabs their respective burger and drinks, getting ready to dive in and eat, but my dad stops them.

"Now I know it's cliche, but I want to make a toast to my daughter being home. She and I have gone through some very... tough times, but she's home now, and I'm the happiest I've ever been."

He looks at me and I awkwardly smile, raising my can of pop slightly.

" To family being reunited," my dad raises his drink making everyone raise theirs.

"To family being reunited!"

Everyone dives into their food, making conversation. With the way Nate side-eyes me, I can tell he starts telling stories to make me feel left out, bringing up memories of my dad taking him and Jasmine out.

My final straw was a daddy-daughter dance being mentioned.

"I think I'm going to head to bed." I stand up from the table and make my way out of the kitchen. I can hear the table get quiet, the awkward tension wafting through the home, but I keep walking. I make it to my room and softly close the door, pressing my forehead against the wooden panel.

After a few moments, I pull away and turn around.

My room still looks the same.

White walls, princess posters hanging up, my dresser is still pink with a bunch of glitter and stickers, along with my pink frilly bed set. My stuffed animals are in the corner on a shelf and my toy bin is still at the end of my bed.

It's different from my room in Michigan.

Very different.

I sigh and flop down on the twin-sized bed, staring up at the ceiling.

A few hours pass with me just staring at the ceiling, no thoughts running through my head as I lay in pure and utter silence. A knock on my door pulls me out of my empty trance. I turn towards the door and am shocked to see Chris peaking his head in. He inches into the room and closes the door, the both of us just staring at each other.

He eventually walks over to the bed and lays down next to me, the both of us staring up at the little glow-in-the-dark stars attached to the ceiling.

"Do you remember that one summer when we were at the park, and we found that apricot tree?" Chris suddenly voices. I find myself smiling fondly at the memory, my voice soft as I respond. "Yeah, we took a bunch and you slept over and we ate them."

"Then you threw up because they made you sick." He giggles at the memory. Our joyful laughter soon turns dismal, landing us in a straiined silence.

"I was really upset when you left...I come back from my Nanna's and all I'm hearing from my parents is that you moved away. I tried asking your dad why you left and he stayed, but I was brushed off. I was so confused and it hurt, eventually morphing into anger. I was angry no one would tell me why you left, I was angry I couldn't talk to you any more, I was angry my best friend up and left me with no notice at all..." I clench my eyes shut at his words, doing my best not to cry.

"I was angry when you showed up today out of the blue, acting as if everything was ok."

"Chris I'm so- I'm not angry anymore...when you left the dinner table I could tell you're hurting." He turns on his side and stares at me.

"I want to ask why you left, but something tells me it's a touchy subject..."

I say nothing.

"You'll tell me on your own time right?" Once again I stay quiet.

"When you're ready I'm all ears..... good night Blue-Jay." He stands up after patting my arm and leaves the room silently.

"Goodnight Chris." I mumble to myself before turning over and closing my eyes.

let me know what yall think of pt 2!!!!!

𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 🍑: @mattslolita @thenickgirl @guccifrog @luverboychris @zayyluvz @mrsmiagreer @chrisssluttywaist @78yaz @hoesformatt @freshloveforthefit @3lizaluvs @mattsturniolosgirlfriend @jetaimevous @luxy-nyx @ts-is-my-spirt-animal @iihrtsturniol0 @idontexistman @katw4shereee @madisturn @starlace111 @zivall @adoreindie @imwetforyourmom @sturnsxplr-25 @sturncakez @theyluvme-2315 @moonk1ss3d @@babyalliah-777 @sturniololol

[k-s-morgan]

Heyy! I am such a fan of your work in the Tomarry fandom, and I don’t want to sound intrusive, but I’m just wondering if you ever shared your history with the ship. You said before that you were a huge Snarry fan, so how did you transition from that to this? (Hehe, maybe I’m getting it wrong like you were always a fan of both since then, my apologies if ever. I don’t know if I’m assuming you’re no longer a Snarry fan.) And what made you write fanfic of them? How did you come up with such unique and great storylines? I wonder if you got inspired from someone or something because damn, the way you tell your stories is just my perfect cup of tea. And I can see you enjoy it! Really great.

Hi! Thank you so much for your sweet words <3 You are absolutely right, I used to be a Snarry shipper. I can't say I'm indifferent to this ship now, but the years where I gulped down all kinds of fics featuring them have passed. The passion isn't there any longer.

How I stumbled upon Tomarry: some months before publishing the first chapter of WHGTB, I was re-reading a Snarry fic called The Marriage Stone. Snape is not nearly the bastard I prefer him to be there, but I liked the world-building a lot, so I enjoyed reading it. There is a small arc there where Lucius Malfoy is attracted to Harry, and I found myself fascinated by it. It occured to me that it might be interesting to try the fics centered on Harry and Lucius - I was never a fan of the latter, he's overly pompous and a coward, but I wanted to find something where Lucius would be dark, regal, and a force to be reckoned with. Unfortunately, the fics I read didn't appeal to me, so I started wondering what other dark, regal character to pair Harry with. I was in the mood for something darker than I typically found in Snarry.

And that's how I thought of Tomarry. In retrospect, it's amazing that I hadn't found them sooner. I always liked the parallels between Harry, Tom, and Severus, and since I thought Harry and Snape might make a potentially great couple, I don't know why I never considered Tom and Harry in the same context until years into shipping Snarry.

I tried some Tomarry fics, and ohh, I fell head over heels. I could no longer go back to my other HP ships, it was like my most perfect drug.

I'm so flattered that you referred to my stories as unique because I actually really hesitated about publishing WHGTB. I knew I would write this story, but the fandom has so many Harry-raising-Tom fics that I thought people are already bored to death with it, so it'd be something I'd create just for myself. Needless to say, the response to it shocked me.

I consider WHGTB and ATLWETD very plain in terms of plot uniqueness - they are just my takes on 'Harry raises Tom' and 'Harry studied with Tom' tropes. To me, stories like Consuming Shadows and Train to Nowhere are unique, while I'm doing the maximum relationship, minimum plot thing. That's what I prefer as a writer, and I love it - knowing other people enjoy it just as much never fails to make me incredibly happy.

As for why I decided to write these fics at all - to be honest, I can never tell how these things work. For example, despite my intense love for Snarry and the years I spent dedicated to this ship, I never wanted to write about them. Same goes for my other fandoms. I can be absolutely insane about a ship, I can love the characters and the universe they come from to death, but the need and desire to write something can be lacking. With Tomarry, I wanted to write about them immediately.

I can't say I got inspired by anything except for a general Tomarry vibe. I think a couple of fics I read might have had an impact on me in terms of some ideas, especially Fate's Favorite since I read it an absurd amount of times, but there is nothing specific I would point out as my source of inspiration. Just a ship itself.

[hyunjinners]

✧:･ﾟAn Afternoon whit you → Lim Ryung-gu x reader ˚₊· ꒰💦꒱

꒰ 命 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ꒱┊Where in a comfortable cafe you feel more than happy to share moments with Ryung-gu.

꒰ 命 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ꒱┊Lim Ryung-gu x Fem¡reader

꒰ 命 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 ꒱┊cute, comfort - some sad matters :/

꒰ 命 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ꒱┊parallel universe, Ryung-gu is not a grim reaper - being a police officer, but from the same division as k-drama (suicide prevention).

꒰ 命 𝐖.𝐂 ꒱┊0,5k

꒰ 命 𝐀/𝐍 ꒱┊English is not my first language! Feedback's cheer me up and help with what I can improve ❣️ Have a good reading and I hope you like it 💙

⊹₊˚ʚ❛Masterlist❜ɞ

𝗔 𝗦𝗠𝗔𝗟𝗟 smile escapes his lips when he observes Ryung-gu distracted while watching the snow falling on another afternoon that ended early due to the cold weather. You take a step forward when you hear the friendly attendant calling out your password.

"Good afternoon! An Americano with lots of ice and a cappuccino, please." You smile simplistically and he then leaves to get the order.

After picking it up, you walk up to your boyfriend who welcomes you with a warm smile reserved just for you. Sitting down next to him, you watch him take the Americano with a cute, funny expression in approval of the taste.

"Honestly, I'm not a fan of that kind of coffee, but every time I see you drinking it, it feels like the tastiest thing in the world.." at his sudden remark they both burst out laughing.

"I think it's because everything is better when I'm with you." He holds your hand, looking into your eyes in contemplation. Despite his playful tone, you could feel the affection in his words. There was a momentary silence, where only the smile on their faces was present, along with the feeling of the affection he distributed in her hand.

"I missed you...so much." You break the silence, pensive.

"I know you're busy with your work in division, and I honestly feel bad for being kind of selfish for wanting you all to myself. But then I remember you're helping save lives and everything gets better." Your eyes meet his and it's only then you realize you've been wandering this whole time. Her hands quickly land over her mouth in embarrassment, her eyes widen.

"I'm sorry, I'm-I-"

"No! It's okay" he cuts you off. "Thanks. In truth. Actually, I didn't know I thought that way. To be honest, these days it's really hard on the divide but - that's really no reason to forget about you. When you miss me, you can call me without hesitation. I love you dear. You are and always will be my priority." After everything he said, you couldn't help but get emotional. Taking advantage of your position beside him, you hug him tight, surprising him by the sudden act. It doesn't take long for him to reciprocate, wrapping you gently in his arms, as if you were so fragile to the point of breaking.

You knew he loved you, you knew he cared and worried about you a lot. You were aware that he is very busy and admired him even more to see the effort he makes to be with you.

"Thank you, Gunnie. You are the best boyfriend I could ever have." Cupping his jaw in your hands, you take him by surprise when you bring your lips together in a quick peck - being in a public environment. "I think we should spend more afternoons together like this."

"Can I say the same, dear."

⊹₊˚ʚ❛original by:: @hyunjinners ¡ Like × reblog!❜ɞ

[kyleoreillylover]

Ryan Bergara x Fem!Reader Headcanons

Summary: What’s it like being best friends with Ryan Bergara?

A/N: In my Ryan mood and I can’t resist not writing him anymore! I barely see any Ryan x reader fanfics so I had to write one myself!

If you were not already a Boogara, he would absolutely do anything to try and convince you to become one.

Sends you videos and calls you at 3 am to share “evidence” that he had.

“Ryan, I am trying to sleep!”

“I’m sorry, I just needed to show this to you before I forgot to!”

You forward the videos to Shane and he always responds either with a “😂” emoji or just full on making fun of Ryan.

It is funny either way.

Shane is your shared best friend.

He likes to tease you and Ryan.

But he loves when you gang up on Ryan with him.

And you both tease him.

Ryan acts like he hates it but he secretly loves that both his best friends get along and are besties 🥹🥹

Shane sees you like an annoying loving sister.

Ryan is definitely the more protective out of the two of you.

You are super chill, and one thing everyone can agree on is that you are one of the sweetest people ever.

But it does lead to you letting people walking over you sometimes.

But you have Ryan!! And he does not let that happen. He doesn’t hesitate to step in and check a bitch if he sees you uncomfortable.

He hates seeing the people he cares about being hurt or treated like crap.

When you are with Ryan you both feed into each other’s recklessness. You might be calm and chill, but when you are with him, it is like all your fears go away and you can let go of responsibilities and common sense!

It also helps that you trust each other with your life, so you know the other would never lead you to getting hurt.

It does lead into both of you doing stupid shit, though that Shane makes fun of you for.

One time you convinced him to do the handcuffed for 24 hour’s challenge for a video, and you both lost the key within an hour 😭

You are also the scriptwriter for Buzzfeed Unsolved/Watcher, so Ryan sometimes will come to your house with the both of you and staying up late until 2 am searching for information about a case/ location and cracking stupid jokes

You once woke up to him laying on top of you, you in his arms and laptops and papers scattered across the desks, and your legs tangled together and him snoring in your ear.

You grabbed your phone, took a picture, posted it on your story maybe knowing the internet would explode, then snuggled into him and went back to sleep.

You are not on camera that much, usually you are behind it with the crew, but Ryan begs you to at least do the Postmortems/Debriefs with him and Shane.

You are hesistant at first, what is the fans don’t like you? Or they think that you are trying to get in between the ghoul boys?

Ryan assures you that they will love you.

And he is right!

They end up loving you and your dynamic with Ryan and Shane!!

Which gives you the confidence to go with them to ghost and crime sites.

Every time Ryan felt anxious and fearful, he would look at you and see you behind the camera and that makes him feel 1000 times better.

And if it got to the point that he was freaking out and panicking(like that ep where Ryan was laying on the floor and Shane was trying to comfort him) you’d get out from behind the cameras and hug and comfort him.

Because you can’t stand to see him like that

“Breathe Ryan, you’re good. You’re safe. Just breathe.”

If you were staying at a haunted hotel, if everyone was sleeping in separate rooms, he’d FaceTime you the whole night

There’s no way in hell he’d sleep through the night, and Shane would make fun of him if he called hum throughout the night

You didnt even have to talk to each other, your presence was enough for him

He’d wake you up randomly though if he thought he heard something in his room 💀

“Y/N! Y/N, Are you awake??”

You groggily woke up, moving your phone away from your ear at Ryan’s screams.

“What?? What happened?”

“…”

You let out a sigh at his silence. “It was your shadow, wasn’t it?”

“…..Maybe? But I swear I thought I saw something move!”

You rolled your eyes at the camera. “Go to sleep Ryan.” You ignored his voice as you went back to sleep.

The internet ships you guys a lot

They tend to do that with most male and female friendships online tbh

And it doesn’t help that the both of you can’t help but be naturally affectionate to one another.

Whether it’s wrapping an arm around the others shoulder, jumping on Ryan, scaring him and forcing asking him to give you piggyback rides and him throwing you onto his shoulder as revenge, the fans will eat up every moment.

You guys just find it hilarious 😭 It becomes a game between you guys to try and make the fans go insane 😭😭

You guys are honest with each other all the time and are open books with each other. If you are feeling down, he can tell just tell, no matter how hard you try. If someone is not good for Ryan, you will straight up tell him. He trusts your judgment because he knows it’s coming from a place of love and you rarely steer him in the wrong direction.

You tried to teach him to cook once and he almost burned your house down 😭 So he just randomly comes to your house to eat your food because he swears your cooking is the best.

Makes fun of your height. You're taller than him? It doesn't matter, your still getting attacked lol. You're shorter than even? Even worse for you, you can't make fun of him at all without him calling you a dwarf at least once.

He is a gymhead (He's not Biceps Bergara for nothing) and makes you go with him all the time. He claims you need to get stronger in case someone tries to attack you but you think it's cause he likes to see you suffer.

You take the ugliest pictures of him known to existence. He tries to delete them but you just keep getting more (Shane sends a lot to you but Ryan doesn't need to know that)

Acts like he hates your music taste to annoy you but secretly loves it

He drives you everywhere because you are quite literally the worst driver he has ever seen.

"Slow down, slow down, you almost hit that car!"

"It's not my fault they were in the way!"

"The light turned red and it was their turn!"

You force him to do Tiktok dances with you, and he's surprisingly not that bad at them?!! 😭

Whenever one of you needs comfort, no words are needed. You just wrap each other in your arms, the hugs and comforting presence silencing the outside world for as long as you both want.

All in all, Ryan would be a loving, playful best friend who holds you and your friendship close to his heart. He'd do anything for you to see you happy, he would make fun of you ( he is the only one allowed to do that) but would defend you in that same breath if anyone messed with you. He is truly grateful for you, and even though you guys joke and make fun of each other all the time, he makes sure you know it every single day.

[velarisvalkyrie]

Things that bother me most about the ACOTAR characters that keep me up at night - Rhys, Feyre, Cassian and Nesta Edition. Please do not atatck me I'm just sharing my thoughts to see if anyone else gets a bothered by these.

Rhysand:

Telling Azriel if he needs to fuck someone to go to a pleasure hall and pay for it was such an unneccesarily cruel thing to say to his "brother". I like Az but I no longer can see him with Elain after a few read throughs of the series but there was no reason for Rhys to be THAT harsh in telling him to stay away from her. Like that is how you're talking to someone you claim to love in your court where you apparently "don't pull rank" - yeah okay.

Not telling Feyre about her pregnancy. I do not care if he thought it was removing stress from her, he took away her choice to help be involved in finding a solution or at least prepare for the outcome ahead.

Enjoying Nesta being afraid of him at the start of ACOSF. I know he isn't her biggest fan but his mate loves her cuz that is her sister like dude you shouldn't get an ego boost from her fearing you. It's gross to me and such a toxic trait. Reminds me of real men I don't like.

I feel like Rhysand only gives people choices that he is able to orchestrate. When you read through all the moments he's giving someone options you notice they are mostly options that no matter how someone chooses it's gonna benefit him and/or his court and his court only. Or he puts people in positions where essentially they don't have a better option - the only better option is to agree with him. Does no one else notice that??? Should I make a separate post on that in better detail one day?

Feyre:

She hesitates before she interrupts Ianthe from SAing Lucien. And when she does interfere its cuz she thinks of what Ianthe has done to Rhys. Look, I do not care how mad I am at a friend - I do not care if it is the person I hate most, I could never hesitate to stop someone from going through the trauma of SA. Whether I love or hate you if I can stop it I am going to stop it.

Telling Nesta directly that one of the few reasons she's forcing Nesta to go through .... whatever you wanna call the whole training/house of wind/library routine - is because if Feyre and Rhys can't even control Nesta why should they deserve to rule a court. I understand this from a political point of view but I do not think that is a helpful way to talk to someone in such a bad state. If someone said that to me I would think to myself: So I'm just damage control you're doing and not actually cared about.

I know people love the whole Feyre in her night gown going to Lucien with a nightmare. But when you think about it more it's so dangerous to Lucien. Yes, I know Feyre listens to make sure Tamlin didn't attack Lucien after she left the room but what if he did and she was a second too late to stop it??? Not only would that leave Lucien harmed or dead but like what would that have done to Elain??? Would she feel it through the bond? What would have happened to her if Lucien died??? No consideration for Elain or Lucien in that moment.

Pointing out Lucien is hanging out with other people who don't have a home. That was a cruel comment. That was a comment not needed and maybe she said it cuz she was hurt he doesn't seem comfortable in her home with her famoly but what do you expect from him when everyone either treats him coldly or tolerates him. Like we have maybe 2 or 3 canon moments where the Inner Circle is being decent to him. Like yeah I'm sure he isn't comfortable. That's not even touching the awkward Elain thing going on.

Cassian:

"Everybody hates you!" Yucky. He knew Nesta was in a bad place and there were signs of self-loathing and he still said that. Then he wants to pout and whine that she doesn't open up easily to him or talk to him about what bothers her for quite a while.

Not having enough patience with her when she isn't ready to call him her mate. She's just gotten somewhat comfortable with being Fae and she just now is really getting a life of her own within Velaris. She did not choose to be Fae, she was just getting comfortable. She even tries to kinda explain to Cassian that the word mate would take away the last scrap of her humanity. She isn't even trying to be hurtful in that moment, she's just stumbling to explain why it was so hard for her to say "mate" and what does Cassian do in response? Not only does he keep demanding her to say it he also goes: "Well, I didn't have a choice in being shackled to you, either."

When Nesta comes up the 10,000 steps the first time and she has visible wounds that she's fallen. He couldn't take like five seconds to just "By the way, are you going to heal alright or are you in bad pain?"

Nesta:

Judging Feyre at the dinner table in ACOMAF when Feyre first visits with Rhys, Cassian and Azriel. So rude and snide and full of hate for no real reason. I love Nesta now but ohhh did I hate her in those first two books.

How she told Feyre the truth was bad. While I would much rather hear the truth even if it was meant to hurt me than to not have a single fucking clue what was happening to my body and my baby, I still did not like how Nesta went about the situation.

Telling Elain she may finally be interesting was just a tasteless low blow.

This is getting too long so I might do a Part 2 for the ones that have a somewhat shorter list: Azriel (still adore him) Lucien (yes, I do actually have some fair criticism of him despite being a clear Lucien lover) Elain (I have only 1 comment but if I put it in this one I feel people are gonna rip me apart) Mor, and Amren.

[stitchdfox]

Eddie is on tour pt 3

His eyes blur as he stares at his phone. The phone app open, taunting him with Steve’s contact info. His thumb hovers over the green call button. Hesitant.

“Come on, Munson. He told you to call him.” Eddie mumbles to himself.

“Joining us tonight?” Their drummer Gareth asks as he slaps Eddie on the shoulder.

“Ah. No. Gotta make a call.” Eddie holds his phone in the air.

“Who’s Steve?” Gareth asks.

Eddie blushes and locks his phone.

“Come on, Gar.” Jeff pulls him away as he flashes a knowing smile at Eddie.

Gods. He owed that man a shot of tequila and the best wingman award.

Eddie takes a breath. Finally tapping the call icon.

“Hey there.” Steve’s voice is groggy.

It only rang once. Was he waiting for him to call?

“Hey.” Eddie smirks. “It’s like 3 am in Indiana. What are you doing up so late?”

“Well, I’m actually in Chicago so it’s only 2 am. And I’m working on an essay for school. Deadline is coming fast.” There’s a rustle of papers being gathered. “May have accidentally dozed off…”

He’s so cute.

“Whatcha gonna be when you grow up, Stevie?” Eddie cringes at his awkwardness.

“Guidance councilor. Hopefully. Schools not the the easiest for me so, it’s been a lot of late nights.” Steve yawns. “How was the show?”

“Surreal.”

Steve hums.

“Honestly, I don’t think it’ll ever not be surreal.” Eddie stares up at the clear night sky above him. He’ll stay with the van outside the venue until the guys get back.

“I’ve loved music all my life. My uncle used to play the radio while we made breakfast. He shared his old records with me when I was old enough to understand how fragile they could be. From there I saved up for my first guitar, my baby, and I knew from the moment I first held her there was no turning back.”

“Wow.” Steve breathes low.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to—“

“Don’t be sorry, man. That’s so cool. What bands inspired you?” Steve asks, urging him on.

“There’s a few,” Eddie holds up his fingers as he names them. “Metallica- Master of Puppets was the first song I taught myself. Wild. You know how hard that song is to play? Worth it though. Then there’s Dio, Megadeath, Black Sabbath and Ozzy of course.”

“Of course.” Steve says.

“Do you even know who Ozzy is?”

“Yeah. I know who Ozzy is. He was on that reality show where they swore a lot.”

Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose. “No Steve—“

“Yes Eddie. He was on that show.”

“Okay, yes he was on the show but do you know his music?” Eddie can’t help the smile that grows on his lips.

“Guess I have some more homework.”

“Steve, you don’t have to listen to them. I’m sure they’re not your taste.” Eddie runs his fingers nervously through his hair.

“I want to. If you like them then they have be pretty good.” Steve says.

“Don’t give me too much credit here, sweetheart. I’m just the guitarist of a small metal band.” Eddie slumps his shoulders.

“Come on! You’re on tour, literally right now on tour, with a big name band that invited you to join them. That’s huge.” Steve’s voice is loud and excited. “Like, where are you guys right now?”

“Denver.” He says low.

“See. I’ve never been west of St. Louis.” He goes quiet. “Anyway, it’ll be nice change of pace from my Harry Styles kick.”

Eddie let’s out a guffaw. “I would be into a One Direction fan.”

There’s silence on the other end of the line.

“Shit.” Eddie says to himself as he squats down, wrapping his arm around his bent knees.

“You’re… into me?” Steve asks with an air to his voice.

“I… um…”

Silence again.

“The honest answer?” Eddie sighs.

“Mhmm.” Steve’s voice is soft.

“Alright. Here goes.” Eddie stands up, a little light headed from the action. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I called you by accident that night. I don’t even know what you look like and it wouldn’t matter at this point. There is something so… so…” he’s at a loss of words.

“So what, Eddie?” Steve’s voice is a whisper.

“Amazing. Wonderful. Heart stopping. I want to write songs about you. And now that I’ve put myself out there I don’t even know if you’re into guys, let alone a stranger and—“

“Eddie.”

“I’ve ruined this like I ruin everything.”

“Eds.”

“I’m such an idiot and—“

“Babe.”

Eddie stops pacing in a circle and let’s that word settle in.

“I know it was your turn to spiral this time but you’ve gotta breathe.” Steve waits for him to take a deep breath. “It is a bit crazy but I… I mean… Me too! I was being honest when I told you I drove my best friend crazy talking about calling you.”

They both laugh and Eddie sighs.

Steve speaks again. “Okay?”

“Okay.” Eddie taps the back of his head against the van.

“I should let you go, sweetheart. I’m sure you have class tomorrow.”

“I do. I’ll text you when I get home and maybe we can talk again?” His voice is a bit shaky. Nervous maybe.

“I’d love that.” Eddie’s heart threatens to beat out of his chest right there in the venue parking lot.

“Sweet dreams, rockstar.” Steve teases.

“Good night, big boy.” Eddie hangs up the call before Steve can respond.

His muscle loosen as he leans against the side of the van. His phone vibrates once in his hand. He looks down to see a message from Steve.

“Hope your imagination didn’t oversell my good looks. 😉”

There’s no way the picture to follow is of a real human being.

Steve has a strong jawline, moles dotting his face and neck, his hair is auburn and a bit on the long side, not that he had anything on Eddie’s length.

His eyes were bright and hazel. His smile wide and perfect.

Eddie opened the van door to dig in his bag. He pulls out his head phones, flops on the middle bench, and searches Spotify.

If he pulls up the “this is Harry Styles” playlist it was nobody’s business but his own.

——

Part 1 here.

Part 2 here.

Part 4 to follow. I’m kind of in love with this AU rn.

If you’re interested I’m posting on my Twitter as well.

[apocalypseornaw]

Where do I belong?

Post an argument with Mary you're uncertain as to where you fit into the Winchesters' new dynamic

This fits into the Always be Yours verse kinda fits in after Love is a Fight (Love is a Fight will get a part 2 also with Dean finding out Amara has her)

Warnings: Mary is a B (Also this is the her working with the b.m.o.l. storyline and of course she wants as many curious hunters out of the way)Cursing, mentions of sex

Dean was still half asleep when he rolled over in the bed seeking you out, hands searching for your body but coming up empty. He didn't think too much of it at first. You were up before him a lot of the time considering it took him longer to fall asleep. You were probably in the kitchen searching for coffee or some other caffeinated attempt at starting your day.

When twenty minutes passed and you'd yet to return he started to worry a bit. When he sat up fully awake and alert he noticed something was off in the room. Your shotgun wasn't under his, your boots were missing from the foot of the bed and the drawers that held your clothing were still cracked open as if you hadn't wanted to risk the noise by closing them.

No, not again. He hadn't done anything, Amara was gone and had long since relinquished any hold on him and even she had assured your worries weren't founded. She'd told you "Dean's heart belongs to you alone" He understood why you'd left then but why now?

He stood looking around the room for any clue as to where you'd gone or why, when his eyes landed on a carefully folded piece of paper in the center of the small table in the corner of his room. The photo of you, him and Sam sat atop it as if you wanted to ensure he found it first thing.

He walked across the room, moving the photo to the side he picked up the paper and unfolded it before starting to read

Dean,

Maybe Mary's right. I don't belong here, in your life anymore. I had no right to stay after some of the things that's happened. When Amara took me alongside Lucifer she told me that I had your heart but she also reminded me that I had betrayed you. I should've picked a stranger, maybe I never should've allowed myself to fall for you to begin with? Maybe it'd be easier. At least then when shit hits the fan your self preservation wouldn't go completely out the window in favor of keeping me and Sam safe. The truth is I think I knew I'd end up falling for you before the angels ever fell. When you called me after the trials, when Sam almost died I didn't hesitate to come to your side. Yes he is my best friend and has always been but I knew you'd need me worse. You've always been a good man but living with you, hunting shoulder to shoulder I got to see your heart also. From dancing in the kitchen to taking down monsters I will never regret the moments I was able to spend at your side. Do me one favor please? Don't come after me. You have your mom back! Your brother is safe and happy. I need to figure out where I belong. My heart is always with you and will always be yours.

Love,

Me

He threw the paper down before storming out of his room. What had Mary said to you? Mother or not what right did she have to come into his life and try to destroy one of the only good things he had. The one piece of happiness in this world that was solely his.

You were just shy of Sioux Falls when you pulled over. You didn't even know where you were headed. Your first instinct had been to go to Jody but her or one of the girls would surely call Dean.

You hadn't wanted to leave. Mary had spouted such vileness. How had she found out? Had Dean told her? Then she said you were holding Dean back that if he wasn't with you he could find someone else, possibly someone that could get him out of hunting.

The breaking point was when she said that it was a shame that one day one or both of "her boys" would end up dead because of you. "Just saying you must be pretty decent in bed for them to repeatedly risk their lives" it wouldn't have forced you out but Dean had gotten broken ribs on a hunt and Sam had been slashed bad enough had it not been for Cas stitches would've been needed. Yeah you'd gotten hurt but would they have made it out uninjured had it not been for you?

You decided to pull off and catch a little sleep. Maybe you'd feel better and be more clear headed after.

---------

You shot up out of a dead sleep feeling your heart try to leap from your chest. It was just a nightmare, flashing from Dean dying to you being tortured at Amara's hands.

You reached out to touch your gun you'd laid on the center console of your jeep. Something to ground yourself. You were fine, you were fine. You took a few deep breaths and reached for your phone before reality sat in. You couldn't call Dean.

@globetrotter28

You Belong Here

[my-own-walker]

Someone You've Never Seen Before

A Kyle Spencer Fan Fiction

frat!kyle AU, fem!main character, sexual themes, mature language, use of drugs and alcohol, frat boy antics

19.

Alone, together. Making up for lost time. 

My lipstick smudged on his lips after stolen kisses in bathrooms at parties. His arms snaking around me from behind in my apartment's kitchen at 3 am, his chin resting atop my head. Study dates occurred nightly, often devolving into naps, cuddles, kisses, or more.

There in my room, we laid. Way less weekly frat house forays for me. Kyle practically lived at Lily and I's place.

I feared Lily would hate it, with her personal space being invaded, and all. But she really liked him. Her attitude toward him changed after that night when they teamed up to rescue me. It took a bit for her to tell me what went down when they got me back to our place. 

"It wasn't what you needed to hear at the time," she shrugged when she finally decided to tell me. From what I understand, it happened a bit like this:

Lily's POV

"She come to yet?" Leon asked from the driver's seat, his tone dripping with concern. His dark eyebrows were furrowed, eyes laser-focused and intent on getting us back as quickly as possible. He directed his question to the back seat, where Kyle sat cradling Hannah's head, preventing it from bobbling around as he hit bumps and took turns.

"Nah, man..."  Kyle trailed off, looking down at her unconscious form. She was limp, eyes cracking open just slightly every so often.

Leon's question pissed me off. Unnecessarily so. "Fucking-  of course she's not awake, Leon. She got fucking roofied."

"Sorry, Lil," he muttered, twisting one of his curls around his finger. He chewed his lip and turned the steering wheel hand-over-hand into the parking area behind our apartment. He let go of the curl and it sprung tightly back into place as he threw the car into park.

Wordlessly, Leon and I unbuckled our seatbelts as Kyle opened the left-side back door. Both of us rushed to aid him in getting Hannah out of the car, but after getting out, he immediately bent down and picked her up bridal style as he did at the party. 

"Kyle, we can help," I began, reaching my hand up and brushing a hair out of Hannah's face.

"I got her," he rasped, adjusting his hold and turning in the direction of the building. "Which way's your place?"

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, allowing him to have his hero moment, but only because it was in Hannah's best interest for me not to argue with him. I pointed toward our back door. 

"Sh-should I go?" Leon stuttered behind me. "I think he's got it."

I turned around and buried myself in Leon's arms. I couldn't help but need comfort in the moment. It was selfish, but as soon as his embrace tightened around me, I felt a sense of clarity and a new capacity to help. "Thank you, Leon. I love you," I sniffled into his chest.

"She's going to be okay, Lil. I can come in if you need," he said lowly. 

"No, go back to your boyfriend. I'm sorry we interrupted your time."

"Oh, hush. Anything for you and Han," he whispered, releasing me and holding me by my shoulders at arm's length, looking into my eyes. "I promise."

"Get back safe," I muttered, turning on my heel to rush after Kyle, who was practically at the door. 

I picked up the pace to a light jog, fumbling in my small handbag for my keys. I watched Hannah's head roll toward Kyle's body, resting lazily on his shoulder. His immediate response was to stroke the back of her head, not a thought behind it. I reached the door and unlocked it in a swift motion, hustling in before the two of them.

"Her room is back here," I called out, not even turning the lights on or glancing back in their direction. I swung the door to Hannah's room open and waited by the entrance for Kyle to pass me. He hesitated and took in the room for a split second before taking her over to her bed and placing her down gingerly.

He turned her over on her side and turned away, striding quickly back toward the door. Only then did he hunch over, hands on his knees, and take a deep, shaky breath. My eyes darted between Kyle and Hannah. Hannah and Kyle. Who to acknowledge first? Who to help first? 

I deemed Hannah okay enough for the moment for me to be able to check on Kyle. "She's not that heavy," I quipped, forcing a small, dry laugh out of him. I stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder. "You okay?"

He straightened up stiffly, still facing the exit, rather than her. He took another shaky breath before responding. "Honestly, all that matters to me right now is if she's okay. I don't even know how I am," he uttered. "I know it'll pass, but it's heavy."

"Yeah...it's intense," I agreed, turning my head to stare at Hannah, who looked as if she were sleeping peacefully. Face still like a young child in a deep slumber.

"Can you, uh, text me when she wakes up? I can give you my number," he sniffled. I looked back in his direction and watched him wipe his eyes. He turned his head to look at me and I nodded. "I love her, Lily. I'm sorry, but I do." His eyes were glassy and pleading. 

"I do, too," was all I could muster.

"I let go of the illusion that things could have gone any different. She may hate me forever. But I love her," he spoke, just barely above a whisper. " I can't imagine a day I won't."

+

I found home in his arms. 

He held me tenderly. I lay cradled in his arms, tracing the veins that twisted their way up them with my finger. My head rested lazily on his chest. His heart thudded quietly beneath my ear.

Kyle slept soundly beneath me. He took a deep breath before shifting slightly, squeezing his arms tightly around me. He then returned to sleeping peacefully. 

It was the middle of the night and I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about him. Us. He looked at me like there was something there worth looking at. He talked about me as if I put the stars in the sky. 

I couldn't believe the boy I thought hated me felt this way about me. That I was lying in his arms planning our future. 

It was beautiful. I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Previous Part

[igotanidea]

Instincts: Dick Grayson x reader

I never wanted to do this.

 It was not my intention to jump in front of Nightwing and take the impact of the force aimed at him, but years and years of training made my instincts kick in and it just happened.

“Protect them. Protect the team” was what I learnt.  

Or maybe  I was just trying to convince myself that it was just this sentence carved inside my brain and nothing beyond.

The truth was, however, that Dick was more than just a friend. At least to me, since it was purely one-sided and I was never his type. But when the danger came I did not hesitate to step on. Would I do the same for Dawn or Donna? Probably yes, but the motives of such action would be utterly different then with Dick.

And now, laying on the ground with blood dripping from stomach, I felt the rest of my consciousness  drift away and before I gave in to the overwhelming darkness, the last thing I could hear was a scream of my name and someone was running towards me…….  

***

I was born with some …. unique abilities that allowed to some sort of energy bending. It was like I felt it pulsing everywhere around me, coming from people, nature, electronic devices. I was like a plug connecting to the source of it and channeling it through myself into different object or forming it into burst of energy. For example I could draw sparks of power from one person and give it to someone else, who needed it more. A bit of exchange you may say. But my favorite trick was creating energy shields. All it took was focusing my own inner strength and forcing it out, forming protection. Smaller or bigger, differently shaped, depending on circumstances. It was cool, but as it usually  happens in such events I knew that people would consider me a freak if they ever found out, so I kept it to myself. Of course, at some point people realized there was some strange occurrences and energy spikes every time I was around (in my defense : it was hard to control at the beginning, what can you expect from a 9 year old kid who has supernatural powers?). Due to that my parents decided it would be best to …. send me away, for a while…. Which soon became years and after 6 of them I lost hope they will ever come back for me. I was put in foster care with many other kids, trying my best to keep the abilities I was given away, staying in the shadows, by myself, being focused on my own things, not really forming any true relationship. But at nights…. At nights I used to sneak out the house into the streets of Gotham, feeling the energy rise and getting on top of the buildings to practice channeling (as I used to call it) to the point where I became perfect at it. Those were the moments when I felt like myself.

During one of my escapades I met Robin, Batman’s sidekick. Apparently, boys got into some sort of fight and for some crazy reason, absolutely coincidentally, he used my building to get some steam off.

“Hey, easy on that.” I blocked one of his R-shaped shurikens flying my direction “you may hurt someone”

“That is kind of the point.”

“You are Robin, aren’t you?”

“And who may you be?” he eyed me through the mask

“Oh, no one important. Just some mutant, practicing …..”

“Practicing what?”

“Energy bending.” I shrugged

“What?” his eyes grow wide at my words.”

“It’s nothing special, really…. Just …. You know what, let me show you. give me your hand.”

“Why?”

“Just do it. It’s not like I could hurt you.”

“Fine, but no funny bussisness” he stuck the hand and I drew some energy from him, transforming it into the biggest and strongest shield I ever made so far.

“You got  a lot of anger inside, don’t you?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“It’s fine. You don’t have to. I just know some better use for this” I pointed at my work in front of us.

“How safe is this?” he asked taking a step towards the shield

“Never failed me before.”

“Are you trained by someone?”

“No.” I shook my head “no one really knows it. Back in the days…. I was considered a freak, so you know, I’m not a fan of showing off.”

“But you should be trained” he insisted

“By who, Robin? By Batman?” I mocked

“Actually this may be a good idea” someone spoke from behind me and out of instincts I threw a blast of energy towards the freaking Batman himself....

***

Luckily he did not take offence. If anything he took me in, so since that accident on the rooftop I became a part of the bat-family, being raised and trained with Robin, I mean Dick. He was complicated one, full of contradictions. Deeply caring, but always ready to push you away. Full of anger but sensitive inside. Looking for a friend but never ready to talk about the things that worried him. Complex, multi-layered and most probably that was the thing that was drawing me into him and his constantly buzzing energy. It was hard for me to admit that I felt hard for him, but as usual, I kept it all inside, making use of that feeling during training. And it worked since I was getting better and stronger. There was also Wonder Girl, Donna. She and I connected with the speed of light, since we were fairly similar, both sarcastic and snarky, trusting our guts, always prepared. The difference was that Donna was full of self-confidence, ready to jump into action without inhibitions and always, always getting her way. Perfect at executing plans which in my case stayed only on paper. With such friend I should never feel left out, right? And to be honest, they never made me feel like I was less than them. But that was how I felt. Dick and Donna were trained at fighting, skilled at hand to hand combat and many different styles and techniques of sparring. No matter how hard I tried I could never compare. I was good, just not good enough to go into first line of fighting. Instead my job was to protect them with my powers.

“It’s your duty to keep them safe, you hear me?” Bruce told me once. “You do not engage into direct combat, do you understand?”

Of course I did. How could I not. And I did protect them, always, at any cost. Making it my sole purpose so I could feel like I belonged. But I never did despite Wonder Girl and Bird Boy best efforts.

“You are a member of the team, YN” Donna told me, catching up on my doubts “and you are our friend. Without you I would never survive Dick’s attitude.” She smirked

“Hey!” Dick interrupted her “I don’t like it at all, but she’s right. You are a good person and we need you.”

“Just so I can protect you, right? That’s it.”

“Oh, stop it, YN. You are so much more than what you do. You keep me sane, and you keep Dick in check since you’re probably the only person he sometimes listens to.”

“Yeah, right, thanks guys.”

*** It worked this way for some time, but eventually we all had to grow up. Donna stopped being Wonder Girl, since in her own words she wanted to see what Donna Troy could give the world. And Dick…. Dick broke my heart, a couple of times, getting into a few relationships and finally getting cold feet and running away leaving Gotham, Bruce, his alter ego and me behind. I stayed because where else could I go. But I never forgot. I knew he was fully aware of my feelings and I hated him playing around with them. I said my goodbyes and moved on as well as he did, thinking we would never meet again. But life is funny.

Dick got himself into troubles, finding girl with some demonic powers, a hot-headed woman gifted with solar abilities and a shapeshifter game-addicted boy. A lot of complications made him turn to the old friends for advice, the old friend being Donna, and purely by accident, me, since he caught us together on the varnishing day. Donna became quite a successful photographer, Dick was a detective and I focused on some scientific work and writing. That was quiet a catch up and there was something different in him and in the way he looked at me.

“I missed you” he told me casually eyeing me with some unrecognizable look and I froze at the spot. No, not again. Been there, done that, but seemed like feelings for him where still there.

 

***

So the band was back together, add a couple of members and consider the fact Dick was now Nightwing not Robin, and we were fighting alongside once again.

And despite everything I still got those schemes of thinking carved in my brain. “Protect them. Protect the team. So I did. All of them, Rachel, Gar, Kori…. And Dick. This idiot got into a fight and being so sure he won turned around to the rest of us, smirking as if he just proved a point, not really checking it. Biggest mistake since the allegedly defeated opponent came at his back ready to kill.

“NO!” I yelled running forward, pushing the energy out, trying to shield him, but I did not have enough time. Instead of energy flow I only managed to create a beam, not enough to cover myself. However, I managed to hit the villain with it and this time neutrilising him for good as he fell to the ground. “I made it.” I thought but was quickly brought down on earth as something thick and hot started flowing from my stomach. Blood. A lot of blood. “Oh, shit” was my last though before I felt dizziness and darkness around. Before I drifted away I heard someone screaming my name and running towards me, preventing me from hitting the ground and laying me down gently. And then … then it was just nothing.

***

Third person pov

“YN!” Dick yelled pulling hair from her face and placing her head on his lap “No!” anger was so visible on his face and heard in his tone it got everyone more scared than usual of Nightwing's rage. “Please, no….. Take the energy from me, I know you can use it to help yourself. Please, don’t die on me... “ his grip became tighter and more desperate as he felt more blood dripping from her body and her life slowly fading “Please….” He sobbed feeling helpless and pathetic.

“Dick!?” Rachel came out of nowhere and rushed towards the boy and dying girl “What happened?! What did she do?”

“What she was always learned to do.” Donna came closer too, clutching on her friend’s other hand “Protected the team.”

“But why me?” Dick asked tearily “why didn’t she protect herself?”

“You are such an idiot, Boy Wonder” Donna would smack his forehead if the circumstances were different “she loves you, dumbass. She always did. Don’t act like you did not know.”

“I…. I love her too” he muttered almost inaudible but the girls heard the words.

“You should have told her.”

“I was scared”

“Of what you bunch of feathers?!” now Donna really did smack him

“Of losing her!”

“Well, look where it got you!”

“Guys!” Rachel yelled getting their attention and stopping their battering “She’s gonna be fine. I healed her.” The girl pointed at the place where bloody wound should be. “But she’s weak, she needs rest, so maybe we should get out of here.”

“You’re right” Dick stood up picking YN and holding her close to his chest. He wanted her to feel the warmth and safety while being in his arms and knew her abilities would provide it. Nightwing was dead set on never letting her get hurt because of him or even in his presence. Now, it was his job to protect her.

***  Back to first person pov

I couldn’t remember what happened, but when I opened my eyes I was lying in bed instead of being on a battle field. I tried to move but there was a sharp sting in the back of my stomach and I fell back onto the cushions with a gasp of pain.

”Fuck!” I moaned as the memories came back. Wait, the memories, the fight, the villain. Was Dick safe… Was he …..

“YN, hey, don’t. You got hurt, you need rest. Lay back down” a warm hand was placed on my waist putting me back into bed.

“Are you… are you alright?” I asked looking at Dick with fear and as he nodded I exhaled deeply “I’m glad.”

“Are you?”

“I’m alive.” I shrugged and the pain stung me again “Guess it’s Rachel doing, am I right. I owe her great thanks. I need to talk to her….” I tried to get up but he gently stopped me again, now both his hands on my waist and he was leaning closer. “Dick?” that was a bit uncomfortable and there was something off with the way his heart was beating. I could feel his adrenaline, energy and …. something more. “Let me go.” I commanded but it came weaker that intended.

“No.” he simply said and a second later his lips was on mine. This was real, but somehow so much better than I imagined. The kiss, as much as Dick was so full of contradictions. Soft and gentle, caring and testing but at the same time passionate and heated and clearly going for more.

“Wait.” I pulled away not ready to be played with again. “What is this about? What are doing?”

“Kissing you.” he said a bit surprised.

“I noticed, but why? What’s the game you’re playing?”

“I hurt you a lot, didn’t I?”

“You’re not making any sense, Dick.”

“I’m sorry” he grabbed my hand gently caressing it with his thumb and the temperature in the room just became a bit hotter. Crazy how the kissing did not make me hot and this simple, caring gesture did.

“What…..?” I started but he cut me

“I must have hurt you since now that I’m admitting how much I love you, you think I’m fooling around….” He looked down, avoiding my gaze.

“You what now?” I could not believe the words he said

“I almost lost you.” Dick closed his eyes but opened them quickly. “And that made me realize I never told you how I really feel. And I should have done it. A long, long time ago...” Last words were barely a whisper

“How long?” I grabbed his chin and made him look at me “How long did you have them? Those feelings?”

“Years.” He admitted involuntarily

“How classic” I muttered “that almost-death experience got it out of you.”

“YN….”

“Why? Why run into arms of Dawn and then Kori and who knows who else?” I should have been happy, right? So why I felt the pain and anger and unfairness of it all?

“I tried to forget about how I felt. You were a teammate. This was a leverage, a threat. If I were to lose focus while on field…..” he shook his head.

"From what I know Dawn were a teammate as well. And so is Kori" I hissed and sighed deeply “You should have told me Grayson."

“This would have changed everything between us.”

“And doesn’t it now?” I asked and let the question hang for a while

“Do you feel the same?” he tried to change the subject

“You did not answer my question!”

“You didn’t answer mine!”

“I asked you first!”

“I asked you second”

“Will you two just quit it and confess to each other?” Donna came through the door “Come on you two, thin walls!” she rolled her eyes and disappeared again leaving us a bit ashamed, looking at the floor. None of us wanted this little burst popped and all the team included in our personal affairs.

“It’s different this time.” Dick sighed answering.

“Good to see some things never change. It’s still so damn hard to get information out of you detective” I crossed my arms looking at him expectanly

“Bruce is not around this time. You know that he would have ruined this relationship before it even started."

“That’s a fair point” I admitted “and it’s only fair if I give you the answer too.” suddenly I became shy “I do .... I share the feelings for you, feather boy.Robin.Nightwing.Dick.Whoever you are or choose to be. ”

“Good” he leaned again and captured my lips in a short, chaste kiss “now scoot over."

“Why?” I did not bother but he just grabbed me and made me move.

“I’m going to lay next to you.”

“Dick, what are you…..?”

“Shh. Not a word. Just come here” he motioned for me to come closer and as I did he closed his arms around me pulling me in. “How does it feel?”

“Safe. You make me feel safe.” I muttered into his chest enjoying his warmth presence so close to me.

“Good. Because that is the only thing you will be feeling next to me from now on” he kissed the top of my head “safe and loved. Those are just natural instincts with you.”

@pinksirensong @somest1