#tom??? what's wrong with 'i dream of you' as a song title?

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

[pinkhoodi]

pop princess !

✎ᝰ — spider boys with a gf who’s a popstar !

♡⃕ — tasm!peter parker, ffh!peter parker x popstar!fem!reader

♡⃕ — genre + warning: fluff + peter is a major fan girl, mention of anxiety, failure, insecurity. lemme know if i missed anything !

♡⃕ — a/n: this includes andrew garfield and tom holland’s spiderman !

꒰ TASM!PETER PARKER ꒱

Ꮺ at first peter was doubtful of dating a pop star, especially being a simple nobody in his high school. just a boy with his camera but now he’s in front of the camera. don’t get me wrong, peter is more than thrilled to be dating you but he’s dating you. thee famous y/n, everyone’s favorite pop girl, star girl that has little girls dreaming

Ꮺ but also the lights, camera, the attention can be quite overwhelming and he will take a minute to adjust from all this. though, you won't always ask him to attend every event and he doesn’t mind attending attending every event so there

Ꮺ cause of his lowkey nature, you try to keep the relationship discreet. you would rather not have your fans swarm at peter’s door or harass him constantly at school

Ꮺ out in the public, you two would wear some type of covering so paparazzi or fans cannot tell who you both are

Ꮺ he’s try very very very hard to be your supportive boyfriend and attend every concert, every showing, every fan meet, any and everything. but being spiderman, and a high school student, he won’t always be at your hip at all times. If he can’t, he’ll send you a text that he won’t be there and send words of encouragement

Ꮺ during his duties as spiderman, if he’s not too busy, he’ll swing through the city until he reaches the venue of your concert. he’ll take a seating on the roof of it and sing along to your words, it’s not the best view but hey, it beats missing your girlfriend’s concert

Ꮺ on the roof, peter snaps some pictures of your concert and prints them off at home. he’ll hang them up on the wall above his desk, along with the many other cute pictures of just you

Ꮺ strangely enough, when you two are out on the red carpets, reporters ask about your views on spiderman. some even ship you with the masked vigilante and you just laugh it off

Ꮺ when you’re not around, he’ll sing some of your songs but definitely won’t tell you. he knows how much of a tease you can be and jokingly calls him your number one fan. of course, that title he won’t deny

Ꮺ whenever you’re at peter’s home, you play a cd of your unreleased songs or demos. you two would just sit and listen to them in peace or he’ll learn the lyrics to sing along. you always give him a copy of the cd before you go home

Ꮺ of course peter has backstage pass to your concerts so he’s usually chilling there until the show starts. he’s there to compliment your outfits, help you go over your setlist, and of course take many pictures of his beautiful pop princess

Ꮺ when things get overwhelming, you go to his home and just rant. you lay on his bed and just talk until you can’t no more, while peter sits and listens to you rant, he’ll rub your back or the top of your head. he would study how your body fluctuates as you vent, for future reference. he would silence sit in for a while than talk you through what is bothering you. whether it would be the lack of privacy, the expectations from fans, fear of failure, insecurities, etc., peter will advise well on how to handle them all. well, at least most of them

Ꮺ if the both of you are not too busy, you would bring him to your studio and show him your song-making process. it’s a very special and private place for you and why not show your loving, supportive boyfriend ?

Ꮺ he would ask questions here and there but for the rest of the time being, he’s quiet. peter would watch you write the lyrics and create a melody, he would watch you scribble and scratch in your journal as he sat across from you

Ꮺ if you appear to become frustrated, he silently hug you and asks if you want a break. he would take you on a walk, and ask more about the song to help you piece it together. sometimes you guys would stop for food, talk more about the song, and figure out what direction you wanted to go for

Ꮺ though, you don’t always have the energy to talk about songs so you would rather chat about your daily life. peter would update you on aunt may and you would tell him about your latest crazy fan experience

Ꮺ if he doesn’t have any advice, he will tell you words of encouragement. he would tell you how proud he is, how far you came, that you’re in control of who you are and not the public. he would remind you of the real you, the raw, organic y/n that he knows and loves. but also reminds me of how happy you look to be on stage or shooting in magazines as the world’s pop princess

Ꮺ speaking of, every shoot that you do for magazines, best believe peter would have every collection. sometime he’ll try to read it in class and some people speculated that he was a fan girl cause there’s no way that every issue always includes you on the front. that’s odd parker, very odd

꒰ PETER PARKER ꒱

Ꮺ your biggest, BIGGEST fan. he’s got all your merch, your cds, you’re his wallpaper. literally he couldn’t be more proud to the boyfriend of everyone’s pop girl, y/n l/n

Ꮺ peter is singing your songs, loudly and bad, posting your new song on his socials, the whole nine yards. I wouldn’t say he’s staying up to listen to your new song but he does learn the lyrics to impress you

Ꮺ I would say your relationship is discreet but not too lowkey ?? like ned and mj knows about the two of you but also you post peter from time to time. If not, then you two would usually hint about the relationship but not give too much information

Ꮺ on red carpet events, peter is recording you from the first step ‘til you hit inside the venue. he’s complimenting and hyping you up, fixing any small details like a loose lash or a small wrinkle on your dress

Ꮺ as bad of a fangirl he is for you, he might be even worse for other celebrities he meets. listen, he is a teenage boy from queens, did he expect to meet gwen stefani or rihanna ? rihannna ? he’s passed out on the floor at this point. if you see one of his favorite musicians, drag him the other way….

Ꮺ now, not all the time he can attend due to his school and his duties as spiderman. but he is sending words of encouragement to fulfill his presence

Ꮺ peter would be starstruck every time he’s out with you. no he’s still not used to being in your dressing room filled with priceless jewelry, clothes that must cost hundreds, and accessories that are so unique and made just for you to wear. it’s like he’s stepped into a popstar’s bubble and very scared to touch

Ꮺ I feel like peter would refuse to believe he’s dating thee pop girl, y/n. like he knows he’s dating you but has he accepted it? let’s just say he still pinches himself every time you text him, ya know, to make sure he’s not dreaming

Ꮺ whenever you’re at peter’s home, you play a cd of your unreleased songs or demos. you two would just sit and listen to them in peace or he’ll learn the lyrics to sing along. you always give him a copy of the cd before you go home

Ꮺ secretly peter has a playlist of just your songs and only your songs. he wouldn’t allow you to see since he would feel embarrassed but ned and mj are for sure teasing him about it

Ꮺ like the other peter, he would have every single issue of your magazine covers. he doesn’t care if they’re small articles of your latest look, he is reading it !

Ꮺ between class times, he would try to watch clips of your interview and blush over how cute you look. certain questions would have him a tad bit concerned but he knows you can handle it well

Ꮺ throughout the day, peter would ask if you’re doing okay, mentally and physically. he understands how draining it is to be well-known in the public eye, especially in the age of social media. If you say no, he’ll stop by your place and comfort you with what is bothering you. also, please don’t lie to him about how you’re feeling cause his spider senses will tell him

♡⃕ lately I’ve been listening to music from the 2000s and it makes me wish to be a pop girl in the 2000s saurrrrr bad. omg-

♡⃕ it doesn’t help that one of my fave shows was hannah montana. the pop princess FRRRR

♡⃕ ngl, tasm peter was VERYYYYY hannah montana coded. I’m sawry she’s like my pop girl inspo 😞

♡⃕ I felt like I kinda didn’t do my best with tom holland peter parker ngl 😭

𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐏 💗: romans 8:26

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟥 𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗄𝗁𝗈𝗈𝖽𝗂. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

made up fic title (kinda… it’s also a song☺️)

“Meeting the Master”

Thanks G! 💖 I'm not familiar with the song, but I still love the title! (sorry if I went a little nuts with this one 😅)

Jake wiped his hands on his slacks for the third time in the last five minutes. Tilting his head side-to-side, he rolled his shoulders to crack his neck. Then he wiped his hands on his slacks once again. Bradley reached over and took his boyfriend's (sweaty) hand and linked fingers with him. "Hey, it's okay. This isn't a big deal." "Not for you, it isn't," Jake muttered under his breath. "It's bad enough I had to find out years later that your 'dad' was the Maverick. And now this! Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Bradley shrugged. "You didn't ask. Besides, how was I supposed to know you had some weird hero-worship thing for him?" "It's not... I just admire him greatly, that's all. And yes, maybe I had his picture in my dorm back at the academy for inspiration but there's nothing wrong with that." The look on Bradley's face said differently. "Dude..." Before Jake could try and explain himself further, the door to the office opened. Jake dropped Bradley's hand as he snapped to attention, though he was quivering as adrenaline coursed through his veins. Maverick was the first to exit the office. He took one look at Jake's stiff, sweaty appearance and shook his head, chuckling to himself. Then he stepped to the side and Jake's heart leaped in his chest. Standing before him was the man he had looked up to since the day he had decided he wanted to be a Navy pilot. Hell, he was half the reason Jake had made that decision. Though the man was older and more frail-looking than the pictures Jake was used to, there was no denying it was the same person. Admiral Tom "Iceman" Kazansky. Bradley stepped forward and embraced the man. "Hey, Uncle Ice. It's been a while." Admiral Kazansky nodded with a smile as he returned the hug. Bradley had warned Jake about his uncle's cancer and how even though he managed to survive it, he had lost the use of his voice. But voice or no voice, Jake was still not positive this wasn't all just a dream. Bradley took a step back and motioned towards Jake. "I want you to meet my boyfriend, Jake. You might have heard about him, callsign Hangman?" Recognition lit up Admiral Kazansky's face, and he gave an impressed nod. Jake almost passed out right then and there. But his lightheadedness only increased as the man extended his hand. With far more enthusiasm than Jake intended, he grabbed the Admiral's hand and shook it vigorously. "Admiral... Mr. Iceman.... Sir. I can't tell you what an honor it is to meet you! You've been my idol for as long as I've been flying and I just... Wow! I still can't believe I'm meeting the master!" Admiral Kazansky smiled and raised an eyebrow at Maverick who was across the room leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his chest. Rolling his eyes, Mav muttered, "Yeah, I heard him, Ice. But don't get a big head. The kid almost pissed his pants the first time I met him too." "Actually," Bradley chuckled. "He threw you out on your ass at the Hard Deck the first night you met." Admiral Kazansky's hand tightened around Jake's for a moment and Jake froze, horrified at what the Admiral must be thinking about him. However, the Admiral's face broke out into a playful grin and he began to silently laugh, his steel blue eyes shining with joy. He slapped Jake on the back before wrapping his arms around both Bradley and Jake's shoulders and guiding them into his office. It was official. This was the greatest day of Jake's life.

send me a made-up fic title and i’ll tell you what i would write to go with it

[prototypelq]

This is just a personal dump of media I experienced this year and wanted to share with others.

Movies!

Movie of the year (which, coincidentally, actually came out in 2022!)

Everything, Everywhere All at Once (2022)

this masterpiece of a movie is easily the best thing I have seen this year. It is also the best movie I have ever seen in my life, it has everything. It is crazy, it is dramatic and emotional, it will make you feel existential dread and love for humanity and the little things. It is beautiful and incredible and unlike anything I have ever seen. It is not for everyone (but when true art ever is?), but I believe everyone who hasn't seen it should give it a chance, because if this movie is for you, it will be the best film you have seen, maybe ever.

Honourable mentions of other amazing movies, in no particular order:

Don't Look Up (2021)

Beautiful blend of caricature and realism, I would not be surprised if all the ****s**t that happend in the story would actually happen in life. Comedy that is actually a tragedy, and I love it.

Sound of Metal (2019)

A technical wonder, the 'Sound' in the title is completely justified. Amazing movie with a touching story and a perspective on deafness and deaf communities.

Supermario Brothers (1993)

If not for the Everything, Everywhere, All at Once, this would be my movie of the year. Either people didn't have a sense of humour in 93, or they had very high expectations for a first video game adaptation movie. This movie is comedic gold. Every other comedy can only dream of getting even close to this level of humour and absurdity. Great movie, everyone who tells you otherwise is wrong, go watch it.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019)

This movie has Tom Hanks singing lullaby songs for a children's evening show, and this perfectly explains the incredible coziness, fluffiness and comfort this movie provides. And the best thing is that it's not an overly happy movie - dealing with grief, death and other complex emotions is the heart of the story. This movie is not afraid to show that a rainbow can appear only after the rain, and it is beautiful in providing comfort for dealing with that rain.

Peanut Butter Falcon (2019)

Good roadtrip movie about male friendship and perspective of a young person with Down syndrome

Devil Wears Prada (2006)

A cautionary tale about managing personal relationships and career boost.

Night Watch (Ночной дозор) 2004

A good, very atmospheric dark russian-urban fantasy adventure movie.

Series!

Series of the year

Red vs Blue (2003-2019) (up to season 17)

I found this gem at a perfect time - a month before finishing university, and this series has been a lifesaver for me. This series has hit the golden comedy mark of Supermario Bros, and Also hit the mark for creating a great cast of characters. The comedy, the irony, the lovable idiots and their tanks, the Soundtrack, and the drama of RE- and Chorus seasons make a perfect blend for a wonderful show. Michael J Caboose is a national treasure and should be protected at all costs. Trocadero songs live rent free in my playlist.

Honourable mentions:

Resident Alien (2021-_)

Good comedy and an exploration of human emotions, relationships, familiar bonds through the eyes of an alien, played by Alan Tudyk. Has the best female-friendship I have seen in a series.

Cowboy Bebop (1998)

Never heard of this series up untill this year and OH BOY was I in for a ride. I'm not a huge anime fan, but this is certainly my favourite. The style, the music, the characters with troubled, yet unknown past, everything here is perfect. Absolutely in love with this series.

Firefly (2002-2003)

Space western AND Alan Tudyk? That's a recipe for a series I would definitely love, and I did. Awesome series.

(I don't know what's the deal with fun blond pilot man and a badass dark-skinned woman with beautiful curls combo is, but I LOVE it)

Games!

Game of the year:

Death Stranding (2019)

No other game has ever made Walking it's main mechanic. I loved the gameplay of this game So. Much. This game perfectly captures all the struggle, effort and perseverance required in real hiking, as well as the importance of human connection on the trail. I have spent 120 hours in the game before finishing the main story just enjoying deliveries, getting all my new homies on the network and rebuilding roads. I absolutely will come back to platinum that last trophy, but for now I have been enjoying the gameplay to it's fullest.

The story was sort of okay, I don't dig the Kojima writing. For all of his ambitions and genius as a game designer, I think writing is his downfall. The spectacle and the music in the game is another level though.

Bugsnax (2020)

A very weird and very fun game! Developers have made quite an effort to make all the different bugsnax fit into an entire ecosystem, and the passion for ecology and entomology shows. VAs clearly had a lot of fun voicing all the different snax.

Subnautica (2018)

Same as Bugsnax, this game has passion over marine biology written all over it and I LOVE that. Designs of all the creatures are very unique and fun. As a person with all kinds of underwater/depths/wrecks fears, this was quite a trip for me at the beginning, though I have become familiar with the game, and after maybe 10 hours it didn't scare me anymore. Sadly, the game is buggy and not very well optimised, and the survival&grind for materials aspects had me quitting the game.

Horizon Forbidden West (2022)

The only release of this year I have played, a sequel to my very beloved universe, and it was...good. The new tribes are breathtaking, the OST of this game is amazing!!!, and all the moments with Erend are precious, but I didn't like the overall story and the direction it's going for the third game. First game had a much stronger writing in my opinion. OST and gameplay however, had been masterfully upgraded to a next level. The poseidon level is a highlight which deserves it's own savefile so you can replay that bit.

I'm so glad Erend is in the sequel, but they did him dirty( Best husband deserved much better

Risk of Rain 2 (2019)

A great game I should spend more time in.

Devil May Cry 5 (2019)

Last year I have fallen into the DMC dumpster fire and I haven't been able to get out ever since. I'm not very good at the game, but I love it. Someday I will get to best doggo Cerberus stage in the Bloody Palace.

[buckets-and-trees]

Can't Be Forgotten [Lily Luna x Tom]

Fandom: Harry Potter

Characters/Pairings: Lily Luna Potter x Tom Riddle

Word Count: 4.5k

Summary: When the fog is high on the Scottish fens, and the Veil between worlds is thin on Samhain night, it's the best time to summon the dead. By altering your course by one degree, you can end up somewhere you never intended to be. Lily, driven by a thirst for truth, slips into something no one would ever have dreamed she would do. “Most of the evil in this world is done by people with good intentions.” T.S. Eliot

Content Warnings: nothing graphic, but as you can see… we’re summoning spirits, so, IT BE DARK HERE

Additional Notes: Ignoring everything Cursed Child.  Made up historical references are consistent with Pottermore information. Endless thanks to L who agreed to beta for me. The title for this story is taken from lyrics to “Cold” by Aqualung & Lucy Schwartz, which is one of five songs I had on repeat while crafting this piece.

It was an obsession at this point. She knew that. But it was fascinating. Fascination founded in frustration. Lily couldn’t even remember exactly what Jenna Flint had said because she had immediately tried to let it roll off her back. She knew it was something said fully out of spite, Jenna having just lost the Quidditch Cup with her team as Gryffindor beat Ravenclaw in the final match of her sixth year. So Lily honestly had forgotten the words, but she didn’t forget the smirk.

Her smirk and the discarded words had insinuated that Lily had no idea what her parents really had done during the war. Lily knew what everyone else knew, but Jenna insinuated that she knew more.

Going home that summer, Lily had started to take notice of how much her family didn’t talk about the war. Not her parents, not her aunts and uncles, not her cousins. James didn’t care much when she asked him about it, and Albus had cared in a way for a while but didn’t care now, and she didn’t want to rock that boat. Of course her grandmother didn’t bring up anything that even came close to dredging up history from the war, but then there was her grandfather…

Her grandfather loved to talk to her about anything.

But even he wouldn’t speak in amount of detail, which seemed rather unfair. “You were there,” she tried to coax him.

He set down the clock gear he’d been polishing and looked across the cluttered worktable at her. “But you know everything that happened.”

“I know what they teach us at school.”

He sighed. “Lily, I don’t know everything that happened. No one really does, not even your father. But what’s brought on this keen curiosity?”

“Nothing, I just… I just wondered.”

“Ah,” he said, “I recognize that look.”

Lily frowned. She thought she had been keeping a blank face.

“It’s not wrong for you to want to know more, but it’s hard to talk about for most of us.”

He paused for a moment, and his steady gaze left Lily’s face and moved instead to look out the window before he continued. “We lost people, and that alone would be hard to talk about without losing them in a war. The horrible things that happened - some of them happened so quickly we could barely keep up. Many of us don’t know how to talk about them, Lily, or we don’t know enough to piece together the whole story.”

Lily nodded.

“You should talk to Teddy.”

“Teddy?” she asked.

“He had a lot of questions about the war when he was about your age, too. I gave him a book someone sent us that was published five years after the Battle of Hogwarts. I never read it, but I heard it was one of the best compilations of story at the time. Lee Jordan was a contributor. Teddy may still have it.”

Teddy did have it, and he loaned it to her without hesitation. He understood, she realized, more than anyone else the need to know what their parents had done, everything that had happened – his parents had given their lives to the cause. He loaned her three books, and told her that he had more if she was interested. She was. The more she read, the more she wanted to know. He loaned her another four. In the last weeks of her summer holiday, Teddy actually let her borrow a journal his father had kept during the war, part of the full collection his grandmother Andromeda had been saving and given him when he’d come of age.

The journal had revealed so much more. Remus Lupin had clearly not recorded everything in the journal, but there were moments that were so much more real than many of the books she’d devoured so far. Remus’s words breathed life into the lists of things that had happened. All of a sudden, the stories were tangible, even though the accounts Remus had kept were brief.

His journal had her seeking other journals. She delved into the shelves of rare books in different shops in Diagon Alley and then at Hogsmeade during her final year at Hogwarts.

Having only grasped at vague ideas of what she wanted to do after Hogwarts, Lily threw herself fully into the endeavor to earn top N.E.W.T. levels in Charms and History of Magic so she could work at the Ministry Archives.

When they accepted her for a competitive assistantship the summer straight after graduating from Hogwarts, Lily wasn’t naïve enough to think it had nothing to do with her last name and the approaching thirtieth anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. Every five years the Ministry did something to commemorate the date, and after immersing herself into history the way she had, Lily had seen how much her family had cooperated only minimally in participating or sharing any information. If they could perhaps enlist the daughter of the Chosen One, maybe the historical and archival teams would have a better chance at roping in the Potters and Weasleys.

Lily knew she was the token, but she also knew they wouldn’t regret taking her on, and, in return, she would have access, resources, and encouragement to obsessively hunt down more information. As the first few weeks turned into the first few months, they relished her enthusiasm for research and pursuit of leads on both information and then artifacts. The head archivist on the Potter Project couldn’t resist taking her from the pool of assistants directly to his central team because he could see that doors opened for Lily Potter that many on his team had been unable to get through – some because her father is Head of Magical Law Enforcement; some because her father is the Boy Who Lived; some because she’s young and enchanting. Lily knows it, too, but she’s grown up in this kind of spotlight all her life, so she’s learned to use every moment of it to her advantage.

The only day she didn’t work was Sunday, but even most of her Sundays were given over to reading anything new she’d gotten her hands on. Since leaving Hogwarts and dedicating herself completely to the research, she’d learned even more. Lily was properly horrified by Voldemort and the Death Eaters, the corruption that grew rampant and nearly unopposed at the Ministry. She was inspired by accounts of heroism: small acts from ordinary witches and wizards, undercover work by members of the Order of the Phoenix, seemingly neutral parties who all along were sheltering Muggleborns in their own homes. She was somewhat annoyed her parents never spoke about any of their own experiences and nearly lived as if it had never happened.

To Lily’s surprise, it’s an interview at the end of September with Oliver Wood, Puddlemere legend who fought at the Battle of Hogwarts, that sends her down another rabbit hole. All Wood had said was, “I’ll never understand why anyone would want to split their soul just to remain alive. I don’t go chasing death, of course, but I think all decent people know you live your best partly due to knowing you only have a limited amount of time in this mortal realm. I guess it’s not supposed to make sense, seeing as Voldemort was pure evil.”

It turned over thoughts in her head about other things she’d been piecing together. Voldemort had followers, but Tom Riddle – by every account – had had nearly all of his peers and superiors eating out of the palm of his hand from the moment he’d stepped into the wizarding world. Dumbledore had been the only exception; others respected, admired, fawned over him. Tom Riddle had talent, he had intelligence, he was cunning, and he was handsome. When had he become “pure evil” as Oliver had said? What had driven Tom Riddle to Voldemort? What had changed the man to the monster?

The second week of October, Lily passed through the Leaky Cauldron, into Diagon Alley, and then made her way down Knockturn Alley to the shop numbered 13B. A bell jingled as she entered Borgin and Burkes. Autumn sunshine barely broke through the heavily frosted windows, and only a few candles cast dim light over the artifacts on display in the shop. It was not the first time she’d visited the shop, so the staff did not look at her with too much skepticism. Burke was wary of everyone, but his nephew and assistant Erasmus was much more inviting. Fortunately, Burke was already assisting a much older customer with deep pockets, so Lily waited for Erasmus to approach her.

After a few moments, he did. “Well, well, well, what brings Lily Potter to our humble shop today?”

His smile – closer to a smirk – was exactly what Lily wanted. She knew she could play Erasmus Burke.

It was not uncommon for the Ministry’s Archive staff to come by the shop, but Borgin and Burke rarely deigned to deal with the assistants. Lily had no complaints. Erasmus was the same age as her brother James but had been in Ravenclaw. She was banking on the rapport they’d built during her previous two visits and the tendency he’d shown to get carried away explaining details of obscure artifacts.

“Work, of course,” Lily responded. “Do you have anything new and interesting to show me?” She only hated herself a very little bit for tilting her head ever so slightly so that she was looking up at him through her lashes.

“You know we don’t sell anything new here,” he said, and now the smirk was there outright, “but I might have something to pique your interest. Follow me.”

She fell into step behind Erasmus, who led her through some narrow rows to a corner with bookshelves. There were a few books he showed her that she had him put aside to be purchased and delivered to the Ministry Archives. She let him show her a strange silver desk instrument rumored to have belonged to Ulick Gimp, the very first wizard to be named Minister of Magic. After half an hour, she finally stepped a little closer and said, “Now, I’ve already gotten a fair few things for the collections today, but you know I’m on the war history project.”

“I do,” he replied.

“Tom Riddle used to work here. Do you have anything left that belonged to him?”

Erasmus took a step back and scowled at her. “Are you serious?”

“Absolutely.”

“We don’t.”

“Oh, come on, surely you’ve got something,” she pressed, stepping close again.

He scoffed, “If we had anything of interest, it would’ve been snatched up years ago by his old followers, and I don’t think I would show you anyway. Ministry doesn’t pay what fanatics do. If we have anything, it might be some old acquisition records or bookkeeping or some shite.”

“Show me.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. “You are serious.”

In the end, she managed to get Erasmus to take her into the old office in the back and find the acquisitions book from 1947 that turned out to have scores of entries written by the hand of Tom Riddle. That’s when she touched his arm with her gloved fingers – Forgetfulness Fingers, a prototype glove from her uncles’ shop. He blinked and swayed, disoriented. Lily quickly slipped the book into the bag slung over her shoulder, then, as Erasmus started to come back to coherency, she pressed a swift kiss to his lips. “I should go,” she said. “I’m expected back at the Archives soon.”

Erasmus leaned close for another kiss, assuming, as was her plan that they’d only been back into the office for a quick snog.

She put a hand to his chest. “Next time.”

Sundown on Halloween found Lily Luna Potter on the fen. A chill ran down her spine, but she merely pulled her heavy cloak tighter around herself. Nothing was wrong. She’d read through the ritual. The separation between the dead and the living weakest during Samhain and would allow her to call a spirit. She had from sundown on October 31 until sundown the next evening, and then the window to communicate would be closed.

She had battled a bit of a strong wind to finally get to her location – it wasn’t bitter, but it was persistent, and so she was glad the land rose high enough on either side of her to create a pocket of calm. From her research into this summoning ritual, it was unclear how long it might take, or whether she would succeed at all. Summoning a spirit was dark magic, Lily had no question about that, but this obscure ritual at least didn’t require blood sacrifice or incantations in a foreign or dead language. It seemed harmless enough that she felt she wasn’t being foolish in the attempt. She just wanted to talk to him, and this would allow her to do so, if his spirit was amenable. If nothing happened, none would be the wiser, and no one could disapprove. And even if it did work, all she was going to do was ask him some questions. There was no harm in satisfying her curiosity.

Lily settled on a patch of grass and began to build the small bonfire the ritual called for, summoning wood and kindling from the nearby flora. She pointed her wand first at the pieces of wood that would provide the base for her fire, mumbling an enchantment to dry the wood so it wouldn’t burn with excess smoke. She had no desire to inhale smoke all night. After building up the logs, she stuffed dried leaves and big bunches of tall dead grass between the wood. It was nearly sunset when she whispered “Incendio,” and the fire burst to life. She stood up and looked around. To her right there was a stream running quietly on to meet a river not far away. Trees completely bare of their leaves stood stoically at the edge of the stream in clumps, their dark silhouettes in contrast to a pale pink glow along the horizon, which gave way to periwinkle, blues, and then blackness as the sun dropped away.

Lily checked her watch. It was not time yet.

She conjured an armchair to curl up in to wait. She pulled a small, tattered brown leather book out of her bag. It was so old the gold embossing its title on the cover had completely worn to nothing, but the first yellowed page read Spirits: Suppositions, Séances, Speaking, and Summoning from the Other Side, no author. She turned to a page she had marked in preparation and carefully read the instructions again for what she was about to do.

Every hour on the hour after sunset, Lily was supposed to burn something that held an impression of the spirit that had passed to the other side of the veil, and speak their name. It was as simple as that. If the spirit chose to answer, it would appear, if not, then… nothing.

It was fortunate that the object she’d brought to burn was a record book that Tom Riddle had written in. There would be plenty of pages to offer up to summon the spirit to whom she so desperately wanted to speak.

Lily put the book back into her bag and then looked at her watch. She’d been very careful to check before leaving that it was aligned with Ministry Definitive Time down to the second. She had also placed a charm on her watch so it would vibrate three minutes before every hour. She couldn’t afford to miss her cue. The instructions for the ritual were simple, if somewhat vague, but one thing had been clear: if the summoner missed an hour, the enchantment would be broken for the night.

It was nearly time. She pulled the acquisitions book out of her bag and opened it to the first page that held only entries recorded with Tom Riddle’s initials. Carefully, she tore it out of the book, ripping from top to bottom. She looked at the face of her watch, and as the minute and second hands moved to cross the 12, she placed the sheet into the fire.

“Tom Marvolo Riddle.”

For the next minute, she was silent, her eyes darting around expectantly, but no one appeared, and there were no voices. The only sound she could hear was the rustling of the bushes and grasses at the top of the hill that crested the fen.

After another minute, Lily returned to her chair, drawing her knees up to her chest; she replaced the records book and pulled out a biography to read until the next hour approached.

Three more hours passed, three more pages in the fire, three more summons.

Nothing.

After one in the morning, she thought she heard rustling through the fen that sounded like someone’s footsteps, but no one appeared. She didn’t sleep during that hour, but succumbed to exhaustion again after calling out for Tom Riddle at two o’clock.

She didn’t sleep between three and four either because the wind had picked up to a howl that put her on edge. Lily built up the fire yet again to distract herself from thoughts of how foolish she’d started to think this night was.

She managed to sleep again after the four a.m. call, but when she woke just before five, she was shivering. A fog had rolled up over the edge of the hill and down into the fen. There was still no spirit to speak of after five, but morning twilight started to creep up over the horizon, so Lily stayed awake again. Her body ached from sitting curled up all night in the armchair, trying to stay warm. The fog was thick, but it gradually started to dissipate as the six o’clock hour approached. She tore another page from the book and threw it on the fire.

“Tom Marvolo Riddle.”

Now that the sun was beginning to reappear, Lily watched as the dim glow brightened the sky and, just slightly, the fen. She noticed a dark spot of movement and squinted her eyes, pushing her hair back from where it had fallen down through the night.

The fog still made it difficult to see anything too far away, but now she could see the movement was a figure, and the figure was coming her way, walking at a steady pace, but clearly in no hurry. Adrenaline spread through her veins, and she perched herself on the edge of her armchair, one hand gripping the corner of the armrest, her other holding her wand.

As the figure came closer, Lily was fairly certain it was a man. She evaluated every aspect she could as he approached. He wore plain black wizard robes with a long cloak falling over his shoulders, and the hem of his cloak billowed slightly as he strode toward her. He took each step without question. This man did not lack purpose or confidence.

His skin was pale, his hair dark, his figure tall and lithe.

At this point Lily’s chest felt constricted and her heart was in her throat. She knew it had to be him. She felt she should stand as he drew nearer, but she could not bring herself to move.

He stopped two meters away from her and stood perfectly still.

Now she could take in every detail of him, and it was exhilarating and terrifying. He was handsome. Every record she’d found of him had said he’d been handsome, and that’s what she’d expected, but she hadn’t expected him to be so strikingly handsome – without question the most handsome face she had ever seen.

But something bothered her. This was no ghost or spirit – and yet he couldn’t be alive. Whatever he was, he was studying her as intently as she was studying him.

“Why?” He finally broke the silence.

“What?”

He arched a single eyebrow. “You’ve been calling for me for hours. You play a dangerous game, calling to the dead. Why?”

Lily raised her chin a fraction of an inch. “I wanted to speak to you.”

The corners of his lips lifted ever so slightly. “Surely it’s much more than that, but I’ll humor you for now. What is your name?”

“Lily.”

“Lily, if you would be so kind as to conjure another chair?”

She duplicated her own chair, never taking her eyes off him, and he, likewise, did not take his eyes off her as he sat down. He took the chair like a king, and now they were only a meter apart. Lily resettled in her chair, moving from the attentive perched position to one she hoped made her look just as comfortable and confident.

“Tom Riddle?” She had to hear him confirm it.

“In the flesh,” he said, “or very nearly.”

“I was doubting whether this would even work.”

“What do you know of the spell you used to summon me?”

“It’s an ancient rite used to call to those on the other side during Samhain. Spirits can choose to heed or ignore the call. You can beckon every hour on the hour after sundown until the next sundown at the end of Samhain.”

He nodded.

“I also wondered if you would come even if it did work.”

“How little you seem to know of me then. Or even of this spell.”

Lily bit the inside of her cheek, unsure of what to say.

“I heeded your call from the first summons, but with each call, a spirit grows stronger until it takes the form you see now.”

“Oh.”

“And did you think I would appear suddenly before a stranger without first watching to determine if they were friend or foe?”

“You’ve decided I’m not your foe?”

“Clearly not. I imagine a foe, first, would not summon me from the other side, but if he had, he would not have been so unfailingly patient and persistent, and likely would have pursued other rituals or blood magic that would ensure my appearance.”

He let silence spread between them for a few minutes.

“Well, you have me here. You said you wanted to speak to me. What did you wish to say?”

“You said you think I called you for more than a conversation. What else did you think I wanted?”

He cocked his head. “Come now, Lily, that’s not what you wanted to know when you summoned me.”

“No, but it’s what I want to know now.”

He pursed his lips for a moment. “Are you sure you want to play this game, Lily?”

She never backed down from a challenge. “You think you know me. Prove it.”

“You’re a Gryffindor: bold enough to try to summon a spirit from the other side for a conversation, too noble to invoke a blood ritual, but too stubborn to give up. You’re on some kind of quest, but it masks boredom and emptiness in other areas of your life that you would refuse to admit to.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but closed it again.

“That’s not everything about you, though. I know it’s just the surface.”

He said it like an invitation. It made her want to tell him more, and so she did. She told him what it was like being the third child of famous parents, the stupid things her brothers had done growing up and the good things as well, how she loved and hated Quidditch in equal parts. She told him about her work at the Ministry, which led to getting the book from Erasmus. She told him about summers at the Burrow and her favorite books. She told him important and trivial things, and they flowed so easily because he seemed to just listen so well, and he asked excellent questions, made her feel like everything she said mattered to him. He listened in a way no one had in such a long time that she divulged much more than she’d ever intended.

Finally she realized time was slipping away, and said, “So you’re not a ghost. What are you? How long will you stay like this?”

“Like this? I’m not sure. What am I? It’s hard to say, but you could find out,” he said, moving to the edge of his seat.

“How?” she asked, matching his movement without realizing.

Perched there, close to her, he leaned a little closer.

The intensity in his eyes pulled her in, and she leaned further, closing her eyes just before their lips met.

Tom’s lips, his entire being, seemed blurred, cold, not really there the first instant of contact. Then there was a rush of warmth, almost as if what little warmth she had there sitting on the fen in the cold November morning was stolen completely from her, and then he was there, solid and warm himself. He brought both hands up to her face, then one moved to twine in her hair, strong, holding her there. The other hand drifted in contrast softly, delicately down her neck to rest just on her collarbone, and she sighed. He took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. She reached out to hold him, but then he broke off and pulled back slightly.

Lily opened her eyes in surprise. His smile was alarming, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to move away.

“What-?”

“You’ve completed my crossing over from spirit to flesh.”

“With a kiss?”

He kissed her again briefly, triumphantly.

“Yes, with a kiss. This ritual wasn’t invoked with blood, so it didn’t require blood. It was simple in its inception, and so it is simple in its completion, and the bonding is straightforward.”

Her breath caught for a moment, and she knew she should be truly terrified now. “The bonding?”

“You summoned me, you sealed the connection. As long as you live, I now live. Tom Riddle, in the flesh again.”

Lily began to tremble.

Tom stood and drew her up by the hand to stand as well. He captured her lips in another kiss, this one blazing. He wrapped his arms around her, and this time let her return the embrace. It was too cunning, and she knew it, but it was undeniable now.

When he broke off the kiss again, they were both breathless, and he rested his forehead against hers. “I have no complaint, do you?”

She should, she knew she should. This was all kinds of wrong. He was not supposed to be here, a hand cupping her cheek. She’d gone and brought him back from the land of the dead, but who was this Tom Riddle? Maybe there was a chance this wouldn’t end in ruin for them both. That’s what she forced herself to believe.

Damn her curiosity.

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

[my-chaos-radio]

Release: November 4, 1989

Lyrics:

I'm so lonely on my way

Waiting for a better day

Only one thing left behind

A world of lust and crime

There's no place for me to hide

I don't know what's wrong or right

Pain and sorrow in my mind

A world of lust and crime

See the wise man in the graveyard

Screaming play the different story

Lonely people in his old heart

Know the answer just for everything

Love turns a friendly card

With the different story it'll open your heart forever

Love is a dangerous game

You don't have to worry 'cause it's easy to play

There's a chance for me and you

Making all our dreams come true

Trust enough and you won't find

A world of lust and crime

See the wise man in the graveyard

Screaming play the different story

Lonely people in his old heart

Know the answer just for everything

Love turns a friendly card

With the different story it'll open your heart forever

Love is a dangerous game

You don't have to worry 'cause it's easy to play

See the wise man in the graveyard

Screaming play the different story

Lonely people in his old heart

Know the light of hope and glory

Songwriter:

See the wise man in the graveyard

Screaming play the different story

Lonely people in his old heart

Know the light of hope and glory

P. Schilling / S. Muller / H. Kemmler

SongFacts:

The Different Story (World of Lust and Crime) is the third English album by German singer Peter Schilling.

The English counterpart to the German album of the same name, The Different Story (World of Lust and Crime), is Peter Schilling's last English album to date. All songs except the title track are from previous albums. Schilling later explained that by the time the album was produced and released, he had become tired and needed a break, providing a possible reason why only one new track was recorded.

The title track was a collaboration between Peter Schilling and Michael Cretu of Enigma and is the only song written and released exclusively in English. "The Different Story (World of Lust and Crime)" was a Top 10 pop hit in Sweden. Released on the dance mix, the song was also a club hit, reaching number 16 on the Billboard dance charts. It was Schilling's last US Hot 100 pop hit to date, peaking at number 61.

The number of copies of the album sold was low. Allmusic's William Cooper says that aside from the hit song "Major Tom" and the title track "The Different Story (World of Lust and Crime)", "the rest of the material here just isn't worth the effort".

[hollandsangel]

WIP tag/title game

rules ; post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it

thank you for the tag @luciwritesstuff !! i need to be held accountable for the absurd amount of wips in my docs...i need a gun to my head.

no pressure tags! @ddejavvu @silkscream @sunshinesteviee

please send in an ask if you wanna know more about this stuff!! i need to be intrested in writing again lmao. (was just telling my bsf last night how i miss writing tragci love stories LOL)

steve harrington 

in the midst/to live for the hope of it all (working title) (one shot; angst)

so cliche, we’ve all read it before but the trope is so GOOD. essentially reader is jealous and a little bit concerned about steve’s realtionship with nancy post break up. it’s been months, but they’re so close, and he even admitted that she was the one that changed him. it never used to bother you, you trust steve, he’s an amazing boyfriend. but things start to pile up, and the image of him confessing that she was always the picture of his future is seared into your memory.

but it’s not real (one shot; angst)

okay so this one i actually hastily wrote up a summary for last night at like two am. i haven’t started writing it at all so im just gonna show you what my docs look like half the time and copy paste what i typed up on my phone in the dark...

being in love with bestie steve but it’s unrequited 

basically him driving you home and imagining the whole “you kiss me in your car you’re driving me home whatever” 

BUT ITS NOT REAL AND HIS FEELINGS FOR YOU DON'T EXIST 

so you watch him drive away and stare up at the sky and it starts to rain bc we’re dramatic here at hollandsangel 

slay.

tom holland 

...buckle up

at every table (one shot; fluff, prob some angst, smut)

this one i have started writing, but i’m not the biggest fan of the tone atm so i’m probably gonna switch a bunch of things up. here’s the summary i have at the top of the doc for this fic lol

BARTENDER TOM BUT HES A SINGLE DAD AND YOU MEET HIM ONE NIGHT WHEN YOU GO OUT WITH THE OTHER TEACHERS AND YOU LEARN HIS DAUGHTER IS IN THE OTHER FIRST GRADE CLASS !!1111!!!11!

there’s also this little prompt i have...

tom taking to haz, not knowing what to do bc he has to look after his daughter and put her first “well ofc you do mate, but you’re allowed to be a little selfish sometimes too, maybe this isn’t such a bad thing”

essentially this is my dream story. i’m really obssesed with the concept but i just. can’t. execute it. it’s literally been in my docs for MONTHS, like probably september of last year, i’m losing it.

perfume (one shot; smut with a little plot)

so this one is inspired by del water gap’s song perfume and is another one that’s been in the works since like august. ive started writing it up but it hasn’t really gone anywehre yet. it’s a def a work in progress but im excited bc i love this song. i think i just need to get back into writing for tom bc lately ive been feeling so...lost wiht him? like idk how to write him bc im so out of practice lol. ALL IN DUE TIME.

anyways, so this story is about tom lowkey lusting after friend!reader and when the whole gang goes out one night, he finally makes his move. everything i write is self indulgent. so.

okay, so the next three are literally just titles and have not been written at all. i just have the basic, vauge idea written under them bc i always get little ideas and then froget them whoops. i do plan on writing these...eventually but they’re pretty low on the priorities list.

when in rome (one shot; smut)

basically you’re on a hot couples get away and you get your period, thinking it ruins any chance of you and tom getting down but he proves you wrong

the extra (one shot; fluff)

this one is based off that tweet that all the extras were instructed not to talk to tom and when he went up to someone he told them he was sad no one would speak to him :(( literally sobbed my eyes out he’s the cutest man alive.

i have like two lines of text written for this LOL not even a summary.

the thunder is shaking the floor (one shot; smut)

i came up with this idea one week where it was super rainy in my town and never let go of it. it is rotting in my docs.

plans get ruined while you’re on vacation bc it’s raining. you make up for it. (basically fuck at a cabin resort while it pours outside and the windows are open)

bsf!tom (this one doesn’t have a title yet, but i love it sm, like i literally wish i had something going on in my head bc i’d love to churn this out. one shot; the holy trinity, fluff, angst, smut)

im giving you the unfiltered summary so you can how excited i was when i first came up with this lol

basically you have the worst luck with guys and you and tom get wine drunk to make you feel better and now he’s staying over and waking up with his hand under your boob and peeling himself away even tho he just wants to touch you and next thing you know he’s making love to you the way you deserve 

UGH wait she scooches closer in her sleep and subtly moans his name under her breath

HE SHAKES HER AWAKE GENTLY AND HIS LOOKING OVER HER AND SHE SLOWLY OPENS HER EYES AND HE HUST WHISPERS “you were dreaming, you kept saying my name” AND THE TENSION IS SO THICK AND SHES JUST LIKE “oh..” AND THEN HE HESITATES A LITTLE AND KEANS CLODER THEN STOPS TO RESD GRR FACE THEN KISSES GER

UGH I FORGOT HOW GOOD IT WAS

director!tom (also no title or summary, just vibes. one shot; angst, smut)

remember sweet? very similar idea, might even throw some fake dating in there who knows, im crazy.

bottom of the glass (one shot; angst, fluff?? maybe??)

i dont have a summary written for this, just like two pages of text...it’s another bartender!tom moment (my guilty pleasure) and him and reader get into a fight and it’s all really angsty. i have a bit of dialoug that’s barely coherent but i’ll give it to you anyways,

“if you don’t want to move in with me, just say so! don’t be a fucking coward tom, this is an adult relationship, and i want to be able to talk about conflicts like adults.” your voice cracks a little bit, but you choke back the stubborn tears that threaten to spill over, “i don’t want to feel so stupid that i get wasted at you bar,” you get quieter, sheepish almost, because you know you hadn’t been acting very adult recently either.

“you know i love you right ? even that was hard to come to terms with-“

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“that i’ve never done this before! i’ve never been in an ‘adult’ relationship and i’ve never been in love and i’ve never lived with a girl and i’m scared im gonna fuck it all up y/n” he flushes, face red with anger and sadness “so i’m sorry i clammed up, im sorry for what i said, i really didn’t mean it..i just got scared”

“and i know i didn’t make anything better but please just..i love you so much, and i know i’m making mistakes but im trying my best i swear”

feeling exeptionally exposed rn.... but this was fun!! i didn’t realize how many half started fics i had and it makes me feel like i still have good ideas!! hopefully i can get some of these out for you guys soon. let me know which ones you’re most looking forward to!!

[justapurrcat]

73 questions

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? I would say 6.

describe yourself in a hashtag? #iftheworduncomfortablewasaperson

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? Tom. But I would be super awkward about it.

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? "Wrong Person, Wrong Time."

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? That I write fanfics.

what’s your wake up ritual? Don't have one. I just check my phone, regret not dying during the night, get up and skip breakfast.

what’s your go to bed ritual? I do my skincare routine, come up with many brilliant ideas I will not follow the next day, read/write on my phone until I pass out.

what’s your favorite time of day? Evenings (especially is the sunsets are pretty) and nights.

your go to for having a good laugh? Oh dear, I laugh so rarely I honestly don't know.

dream country to visit? Japan, absolutely. Now that I mentioned it, I might need to brush up my Japanese...

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? People not getting annoyed by my presence and saying they genuinely enjoy it and actively search for it... what's your plan?

heels or flats/sneakers? Sneakers, but I love heels and those who rock them.

vintage or new? Vintage.

who do you want to write your obituary? My best friends.

style icon? I... don't know, actually? Do the models in dark academia moodboard pics count?

what are three things you cannot live without? My phone, my cats, my friends.

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? Oregano/Mint/Paprika, it depends, but mainly these three.

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? Mmm... my mom (because she hates cooking, but she's being doing stuff for other people her whole life), my grandma (she's from the place where lasagne were "invented", so it would be a huge test), and my grandpa (who loved to cook, so I would love to hear his opinion).

what’s your biggest fear in life? Being useless and unworthy of love.

window or aisle seat? Window.

what’s your current tv obsession? I don't have one at the moment.

favorite app? Tumblr.

secret talent? I can sew and sing a little, I guess?

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? Meh, everything makes me uncomfortable, merely existing is adventurous enough for me.

how would you define yourself in three words? Dreamer, afraid, over-thinker.

favorite piece of clothing you own? Anything that's purple or lilac.

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? Black/white tank.

a superpower you would want? Teleportation, no doubts on that.

what’s inspiring you in life right now? Writing? Seeing where that can bring me? Idk next question.

best piece of advice you’ve received? "Make fun of it before others can, so they won't be able to hurt you"... given to me by myself.

best advice you’d give your teenage self? "No" is a nice word and you should say it more. Also, stop apologizing for everything. And DON'T make your eyebrows thinner!

a book everyone should read? The "My Brilliant Friend" tetralogy by Elena Ferrante.

what would you like to be remembered for? Nah, just forget me, it's embarrassing.

how do you define beauty? I don't.

what do you love most about your body? You mean despise the least? Probably my eyes, but on alternate days.

best way to take a rest/decompress? Listen to music, nap, cuddle a cat, if you have one.

favorite place to view art? In a museum.

if your life was a song, what would the title be? The Autumn of Violet Lilies.

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? Piano.

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? On my nape.

dolphins or koalas? Koalas.

what’s your spirit animal? A cat.

best gift you’ve ever received? A corset. It was technically mine, because I made it, but I got to keep it.

best gift you’ve given? A handmade doll.

what’s your favorite board game? Dixit.

what’s your favorite color? Purple in its every shade.

least favorite color? Orange.

diamond or pearls? Pearls.

drugstore makeup or designer? Both.

blow-dry or air-dry? Air-dry.

pilates or yoga? Yoga.

coffee or tea? I drink tea, darling.

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? Farthingale.

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? Milk.

stairs or elevators? Stairs.

summer or winter? Winter.

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? Pizza.

a dessert you don’t like? Pudding.

a skill you’re working on mastering? Living.

best thing to happen to you today? I got to spend some time with my best friends.

worst thing to happen to you today? Waking up still alive.

best compliment you’ve ever received? Unbelievably, something about my writing.

favorite smell? Flowers, especially lilies, roses and violets, chocolate, mint, vanilla.

hugs or kisses? Hugs.

if you made a documentary, would it be about? Historical garments.

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? "Tear Along the Dotted Line".

lipstick or lipgloss? Lipstick.

sweet or savory? Savory.

girl crush? Idk, I fall in love with everyone, I'm a bit of a whore under that aspect. Right now, Simone Ashley, Gemma Chan, Anne Hathaway and Sharon Alexie.

how do you know your in love? When you go "oh shit, this ain't gonna end well".

a song you can listen to on repeat? Anything by Taylor Swift, really... right now, it's "The Lakes".

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? My cat.

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? Beginning this new job.

tagged by @silkscream and @indouloureux thank you lovies 💜

tagging: @ahoefortomholland @jahayla-parker @thollandsdarling @buckybarnesandmarvel @spiderboytotherescue and whoever wants to do this⁓

[annathesillyfriend]

Anna's June Fic Recs

Welcome to my June fic recommendations masterpost!! This month has been a little hectic, I didn't have as much time to read so I am doing just one list. I really hope July's gonna be more productive reading wise, now that I am at home with no exams. But still, I've read some pretty amazing stories and I hope you're gonna enjoy them as well 😌 I wish you all a wonderful summer! 🥰

To all the writers - I love you and I appreciate you so much! To all the readers - please, share the fics you read and love. The reblog really makes the change! It’s the least we can do to show our gratitude.

Holland & Co.

✨Tom Holland✨

naughty noises by @thegirlintheswivelchair

one-shot, 18+, caution!!! hot!!!

share by @/blindingdutchy

one-shot, 18+, pornstar!tom x pornstar!reader, 🥵🥵

lazy lover by @blindingdutchy

one-shot, 18+, the perfect balance between soft and hot

torn leaves, broken hearts by @t-lostinworlds

one-shot, this is so full of emotion and so beautiful and so heartbreaking at the same time

taunt by @duskholland

one-shot, 18+, rich kid!tom, golf, fwb, all that jazz, hannah is feeding us once again

call me when you get this by @multiholland

one-shot, college!tom

this fic by @/multiholland

one-shot, so cute!!!

tension and temptation and sensuality and serenity by @marvelouspeterparker

two-shot, 18+, pornstar!tom x pornstar!reader

peanut butter and extra jelly and more jelly, please! by @starknik22

two-shot, 18+ for a bit in the second one, actress!haz's co-star!reader, jealous!tom, loved every second!

this fic by @blissfulparker

blurb, tom vs. road rage 😂

also this one by @/blissfulparker

blurb, tom wants to propose but it didn't go as planned

putter fantasy by @worldoftom

series, 18+, roommate!actor!golfer!tom, fwb, this is just fucking great

the best birthday by @celestialholland

one-shot, birthday boy!tom

since then by @softholand

one-shot, best friend!tom

✨Harrison Osterfield✨

electric love by @lauras-collection

series, 18+, fwb!roommate!harrison, amazing 👏

bluberry muffins by @peterplanet

one-shot, meeting harrison at a cafe, so sweet 🥺

impromptu hoe for haz blurbs by @greenorangevioletgrass

collection of blurbs, 18+, delicious!!!

MCU

✨Steve Rogers✨

the dumb bet by @bccky

one-shot, fun times at sam's bachelor party! and there's karaoke!

city love by @captain-kelli

one-shot, so beautiful!!

quiet light by @xbuchananbarnes

part of the you are the sun universe, you can't go wrong with Dani's work, just go read it all

library lesson by @jurassicbarnes

one-shot, 18+, modern royal!au

his saviour by @kinanabinks

one-shot, civilian!steve x superhero!reader

✨Sam Wilson✨

eyes wide open by @babycap

one-shot, sam becomes a father 🥺🥺

all i wanna be, all i ever wanna be, is somebody to you by @blackberrybucky

one-shot, 🥰💕

✨Bucky Barnes✨

daisy chain by @belowva

one-shot, avenger!reader, soulmate!au, so nice!

dearly beloved by @indyluckycharlie

one-shot, mafia!bucky x mafia!reader, amazing!!!

the love club by @slyyywriting

series, 18+, mob!reader, so bloody good!!

lamented & assured by @belladonnabarnes

one-shot, just stunning

hide & seek by @angrythingstarlight

one-shot, dad!bucky 🥺🥺

anger that loves by @/babyboibucky

one-shot, so beautiful!!

unfair by @/babyboibucky

one-shot, falling in love with bucky, get your tissues, friends

deserve better, undeserving, deserve the best by @babyboibuckywrites

series, so much angst 😫

trilogy by @buckycuddlebuddy

series, 18+, fuckboy!bucky

the coupon book by @tuiccim

series, 18+, with a guest appearance from another super solider 👀

flight risk and no control by @wkemeup

two-shot, protective!bucky, so sad but so beautiful

suburbia by @/wkemeup

one-shot, fake married!au

dreamland by @blissfullybarnes

series, avenger!reader, hits you right in the feels 🥺

✨SarahBucky✨

forever by @samwilsons-pillowpecs

one-shot, this is just poetry at its finest

✨Joaquin Torres✨

sunrise by @calif0rnia-lovers

one-shot, black!reader, reuniting after the blip

sweeter than honey by @/xbuchananbarnes

one-shot, 18+, Dani's work is always a treat but her Torres fics are just exeptional

whispered words by @moonlight-prose

one-shot, angst & fluff

favourite crime by @mischiefmanaged71

one-shot, angsty

✨Peter Parker✨

girlfriend and piece of you by @spideyspeaches

two-shot, 18+, so good!!

all too well by @/spideyspeaches

one-shot, singer!reader, just what you'd expect from a story titled like a tswift song. especially that song

she doesn't even know by @loveaffaire

one-shot, best friend!peter

just you and me by @vampireoutofbusiness

one-shot, 18+, first time with peter, amazing!

angel eyes by @londonspidey

one-shot, 18+, first time with peter, the softest thing ever

✨Thor✨

lightning in my veins, and thunder in my chest by @blackberrybucky

one-shot, 18+, 🥵🥵

✨Loki✨

beyond bruises by @spilledkauffie

one-shot, jealous!loki

Others

memories and misconceptions by @peeterparkr and @erodasghosts

two stories that go together - Tom's and Harry's, they're just starting but are already so wonderful!

1k follower celebration masterlist by @rodrikstark

collection of fics, mix of characters, each one better than the last

✨Chris Evans✨

munchies by @buckyhoney

one-shot, after party for 2

✨Ransom Drysdale✨

undercover boss by @chase-your-dreams-away

series, in progress, so good!!

✨Johny Storm✨

aftershocks by @mypoisonedvine

one-shot, 18+, enemies and lovers

✨Chris Beck✨

never had it from the start by @tinymalscoffee

one-shot, 18+, breaking up, angst and so much heartbreak

[cardest]

London playlist

London - since 43 AD it has to be one of the more fascinating cities on Earth. Such a rich history. From Shakespeare Theatre to the music from there today. I just had to put a London playlist together. From Soho to Brixton, from Highgate to Clapham  what a collection of songs! It’s over 350 songs and it could easily expand to 400. **I have a separate England & Wales playlist coming, so, stay tuned for that**.

To play the songs, hit the link right here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC1_ntP663JhZl-hvn9EwFp9L

ENGLAND & WALES playlist is coming soon! What songs have I left out? Let me know! Add your own songs! Cheers. Pip pip, tally ho!

LONDON 001 Generation X -  Day By Day 002 The Clash - London Calling 003 Austin Powers  - theme song (Soul Bossa? Nova ) 004 The Kinks - Dedicated Follower Of Fashion 005 Killing Joke - Empire Song 006 Black Sabbath - Wicked World 007 The Who - Welcome 008 The Damned - Neat, neat, neat 009 GIRLSCHOOL - LONDON 010 007 theme song 011 Motorhead - Motorhead 012 Wire - Ex Lion Tamer 013 David Bowie - Maid of Bond Street 014 The Misfits - London Dungeon 015 Rolling Stones - 016 The Adverts - Bored Teenagers 017 Siouxsie & The Banshees -  Spellbound 018 Penny Dreadful - Soundtrack - Main Theme 019 Eurythmics - Love Is A Stranger 020 The Cure - Subway Song 021 Adam And The Ants -  Puss 'n' Boots 022 Iron Maiden - 22 Acacia Avenue 023 COIL - Fire of the mind 024 Public Image Ltd - One Drop. 025 LUSH - Breeze 026 Bliss Signal - Surge 027 The Pogues - Misty Morning, Albert Bridge 028 PhD - Won't Let You Down 029 Birthday Party - Hats On Wrong 030 Eddy Grant - Electric Avenue 031 Help Yourself - Reaffirmation 032 Grave Miasma - Gnosis of the summon 033 Roy Ayers - We Live In London Baby 034 Led Zeppelin - The Rover 035 Gang of Four - What we all want 036 Pet Shop Boys - West End Girl                 037 Sleaford Mods - 6 Horsemen (The Brixtons) 038 Paul Young - Love of the Common People 039 The Saint (original) - Theme 040 The Human League - Dont You Want Me 041 Sex Pistols - God Save The Queen 042 The Beatles - A Day In The Life 043 Def Leppard -  Love bites 044 The Stranglers - Another Camden Afternoon 045 The Kinks  - See My Friends 046 Elton John - Bennie and the Jets 047 Suede - Moving 048 Queen - Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy 049 Cliff Richard & the Shadows - She's Gone 050 The Rolling Stones - Start Me Up 051 Loop - Fade Out 052 Jah Wobble's Invaders Of The Heart - A13 053 The Magnetic Fields - All the Umbrellas in London 054 Wendy Carlos - Title Music From A Clockwork Orange (From Purcell's Music For The Funeral Of Queen Mary) 055 The Police - Every Little Thing she does it Magic 056 Cockney Rejects - The Greatest Cockney Rip Off 057 Spandau Ballet - Spandau Ballet Chant No.1 058 The Pretenders - Middle of the Road 059 The Who - Dogs 060 The Jam - London Girl 061 Cradle of Filth - Hurt and Virtue 062 Joy Division - Isolation 063 Nick Drake - At the Chime of a City Clock 064 Sham 69 - Cockney Kids Are Innocent 065 Deep Purple - Mandrake Root 066 Throbbing Gristle - Hit by a rock 067 David Bowie - Rubber Band 068 Roxy Music  - Do The Strand 069 Slaves - Cheer Up London 070 T. Rex - London Boys 071 Kirsty MacColl - Autumngirlsoup 072 New Model Army - Archway Towers 073 Scorpions - Lovedrive 074 Isaac Hayes - Doesnt Rain In London 075 Peter Tosh - Buk-In-Hamm Palace 076 The Slits - Typical Girls 077 Pharaoh Sanders - Midnight In Berkeley Square (Instrumental) 078 Blue Cheer - Girl From London 079 Sex Pistols - Satellite 080 Judas Priest - (The Hellion ) Electric Eye 081 UFO -  Lights Out 082 Joy Division - Digital 083 Muse - Uprising 084 George Harrison - All Things Must Pass 085 Robert Palmer - Addicted To Love 086 Fine Young Cannibals - Blue 087 New Order - Blue Monday 088 Würzel - Midnight In London 089 Rod Stewart - Gasoline Alley 090 The Wildhearts - Down On London 091 Supertramp - Nothing To Show 092 Motörhead - Metropolis 093 Current 93 - Lucifer Over London 094 The Pogues - Dark Streets of London 095 The Cult - All Souls Avenue 096 The Jam - In The City 097 The Undertones - Teenage Kicks 098 Iggy Pop -  Play It Safe 099 Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Jack the Ripper 100 The Cure  - Lets Go To Bed 101 Suede - Animal Nitrate 102 Wire - field day for the sundays 103 Black Books  TV Show - Opening Theme 104 Paul McCartney & Wings - London Town 105 Madness - Primrose Hill 106 The Troggs  - No. 10 Downing Street 107 Iron Maiden -  Gangland 108 PJ Harvey - The Last Living Rose 109 The Rollers - Soho 110 Electric Wizard - Lucifer's Slaves 111 The Buzzcocks -  Just Lust 112 Doctor Who Theme Tune 1980 113 Cathedral - Fountain Of Innocence 114 Pretenders - Swinging London 115 Hanoi Rocks - Tooting Bec Wreck 116 Es - 'Chemical 117 Bee Gees  - Trafalgar 118 The Peddlers    - Under London Lights 119 Cliff Richard - The Young Ones 120 Big Audio Dynamite - Sightsee M.C   121 ABC - Tower of London 122 Accept - London Leatherboys 123 Pitchshifter - Please Sir 124 Portishead -  We Carry On 125 John Lennon - Whatever Gets You Thru The Night 126 The Lurkers - Ain't Got a Clue 127 Iron Maiden - Die with your boots on 128 Siouxsie and the Banshees - Kiss Them For Me 129 Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - From Her to Eternity 130 The Jam - London Traffic 131 The Cranberries - Waiting In Walthamstow 132 The Kinks - Victoria 133 Heads Hands & Feet - Pete Might Spook The Horses 134 Whitesnake -  Long Way From Home 135 Queensryche - London 136 Concrete Blonde - Walking in London 137 Deep Purple - Fireball 138 The Ruts - dope for guns 139 Wham! - Bad Boys 140 Generation X - One Hundred Punks 141 Joe Jackson - Down To London 142 Anti-Nowhere League - Streets of London 143 The Wildhearts - Shandy Bang 144 David Bowie - The London Boys 145 The Human League - Human 146 Cockney Rejects - East end 147 Dire Straits - Eastbound Train 148 Ian Drury - Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick 149 Sepultura -  Filthy rot 150 The Jam - Down In The Tube Station At Midnight 151 Fine Young Cannibals - She Drives Me Crazy 152 Purson -  Electric Landlady 153 Black Sabbath -  Tomorrow's Dream 154 The Clash - Guns of Brixton 155 Blood Ceremony - Lord Of Misrule 156 Monty Pythons The Meaning of Life - Penis Song 157 Gentlemans Pistols -  Hustler's Row 158 Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Relax 159 Jethro Tull - Cross Eyed Mary 160 The Yobs - The Ballad of the Warrington 161 Cradle of Filth - Principle Of Evil Made Flesh 162 Bruce Hornsby - The Black Rats Of London 163 Inspiral Carpets - How It Should Be 164 The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Foxy Lady 165 PETULA CLARK - WINCHESTER CATHEDRAL 166 Lush - Olympia 167 Hunters & Collectors - Blind Eye 168 Thompson Twins - Hold Me Now 169 David Bowie - The Man Who Sold the World 170 UK Subs - C.I.D. 171 Queen - Dont Stop Me Now 172 Bruce Dickinson - Accident of Birth 173 the clash - capital radio one 174 UB40 - Here I Am (Come And Take Me) 175 The Meads Of Asphodel - Guts For Sale 176 Horrible Histories: Savage Songs - Boudicca 177 Swallow the Sun - Labyrinth Of London (Horror Pt. IV) 178 Mad Professor  - Ben Gone Wrong 179 Howard Jones - Things Can Only Get Better 180 Genesis - The Battle Of Epping Forest 181 The Damned -  problem child 182 Squeeze  - Cool For Cats 183 Manfred Mann - Belgravia 184 The Bee Gees - Walking Back to Waterloo 185 Pink Floyd - Waiting For The Worms 186 Madness - Victoria Gardens 187 Paradise Lost - Soul Courageons 188 YES  - Roundabout 189 PJ Harvey - This Is Love 190 The Horrors - Jack The Ripper 191 King Crimson - Red 192 The Smiths - How Soon Is Now 193 Level 42 - Heathrow 194 Intaferon - Get Out Of London 195 Burt Bacharach - Bond street 196 David Bowie - Ziggy Stardust 197 The Clash - Londons Burning 198 Killing Joke - Follow The Leaders 199 Saxon - The Court of the Crimson King 200 Buzzcocks - Harmony in My Head 201 Fairport Convention - Fiddlesticks (Peel Session) 202 Napalm Death - Errors In The Signals 203 Empire  - Hot Seat 204 Anathema - Shroud of Frost 205 Pitchshifter - Condescension 206 The Beatles - Hey Jude 207 Affinity - Highgate 208 KLF - 3 A.M. Eternal (Pure Trance) 209 Warren Zevon - Werewolves of London 210 David Axelrod - London 211 The Wombles - Wellington Goes To Waterloo 212 EastEnders Theme 213 Cathedral - Hypnos 164 214 Tom Jones - It's Not Unusual 215 Alan Moore with Tim Perkins - The Highbury Working A Beat Seance 216 Transvision Vamp - Sex Kick 217 Elton John - Tell Me When The Whistle Blows 218 Firebird - Bow bells 219 The Jam - A' Bomb In Wardour Street 220 Caravan  - Waterloo Lily 221 Lord Sutch & Heavy Friends - Flashing Lights 222 David Bowie - Oh! You Pretty Things 223 Hot Chocolate - West End of Park Lane 224 Thames television ident 1984 225 Newtown Neurotics - Living With Unemployment 226 Peter Murphy - Cuts You Up 227 Suede - Metal Mickey 228 Peter Gabriel - Sledgehammer 229 Killing Joke - The Gathering 230 Rolling Stones - You Can't Always Get What You Want 231 Kate Bush - Babooshka 232 Iron Maiden - The Prophecy 233 The Cure - Disintegration 234 The Damned - I Just Can't Be Happy Today 235 WIRE - Silk Skin Paws 236 Brian Eno - Here Come The Warm Jets 237 Souixee & the Banshees - Cascade 238 Jethro Tull - Jeffrey Goes to Leicester Square 239 AC/DC -  Rising Power 240 Alternative TV - Life After Life 241 Napalm Death - Deceiver (Peel Sessions) 242 Electric Light Orchestra - Last Train To London 243 Bucks Fizz - London Town 244 The Sweet - Blockbuster! 245 999 - Bent Cross 246 The Groundhogs - Split, Pt. 1 247 Bow Wow Wow - Go Wild in the Country 248 Blood Ceremony -  Half Moon Street 249 Ming Tea feat. Austin Powers - BBC One 250 Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song 251 Big Audio Dynamite - EMC2 252 Crass - Banned from the Roxy 253 Sleaford Mods - Chaos Down In SoHo 254 Big Ben Chimes of Westminster, London 255 PJ Harvey - A Place Called Home 256 The Ruts - Staring at the rude boys 257 The Times - Whatever Happened To Thames Beat 258 Quincy Jones - London Derriere 259 Lush - Hypocrite 260 PIL - Reggie Song 261 The Style Council - You're The Best Thing 262 UK Subs - Dirty Girls 263 COIL - Slur 264 Frank Zappa - Dead girls of London 265 Iron Maiden - Prowler 266 The Slits - Difficult Fun 267 Killing Joke -  Kings and Queens 268 Simple Minds - Chelsea Girl 269 Motorhead - Bomber 270 XTC - Towers Of London 271 Blitzkrieg  - Hell to pay 272 Gryphon - Opening Move 273 The Challengers - The Streets of London 274 Peggy March - In Der Carnaby Street 275 The Damned - Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde 276 The Pogues - London You're a Lady 277 The Lords Of The New Church - Portobello 278 Rolling Stones - Hot Stuff 279 Joe Jackson - The Evil Eye 280 The Deviants - Garbage 281 Benny Hill Show  - Wild Women 282 Suzi Quatro - Crash 283 Madness - day on the town 284 SHAKESPEAR'S SISTER -  I Don't Care 285 Whitesnake - Wine Women An Song 286 Pink Floyd - Astronomy Domine 287 Rick Astley - Whenever You Need Somebody 288 Bauhaus - In the flat field 289 Dead Can Dance - In Power We Entrust The Love Advocated 290 Paul McCartney -  Old Siam, Sir 291 Lush - De-Luxe 292 AC/DC - let's get it up 293 Sophia Loren & Peter Sellers - Bangers and mash 294 Black Sabbath - Childfren of the grave 295 Psychic TV - The orchids 296 Miracle - The Strife Of Love In A Dream 297 Carter USM - Lean On Me I Won't Fall Over 298 Screaming Lord Sutch - Jack the Ripper 299 WIRE - the 15th 300 Mott the Hoople - Honaloochie Boogie 301 Soft Machine - The Camden Tandem 302 Are You Being Served Theme 303 CATHEDRAL - Serpent Eve 304 Booker T. & The MG's - Carnaby Street 305 Culture Club - It's A Miracle 306 Motorhead - Nothing Up My Sleeve 307 Killing Joke - Money is not our God 308 Bronski Beat - Smalltown Boy 309 WIRE - Please take 310 Bananarama - Hey young London 311 The Jam - Carnaby Street 312 Catapilla - Charing Cross   313 The Shadows - Chelsea Boot 314 Ride - Chelsea Girl 315 The Damned  - Grimly Fiendish 316 Marillion - Chelsea Monday 317 Slowdive - Celia's Dream 318 The Clash - Gates of the west 319 Thin Lizzy - Half Caste 320 David Bowie -  I dig everything 321  VUUR - Days Go By - London 322 Elvis Costello - [I Don't Want To Go To] Chelsea 323 Uriah Heep - Walking in your shadow 324 Genesis - Invisible Touch 325 Amy Winehouse - Me & Mr Jones 326 Curve - Fait Accompli   327 Silverfish ‎- Crazy 328 Iron Maiden - Killers 329 Killing Joke -  Ghost Of Ladbroke Grove 330 Sex Pistols - Anarchy In The UK 331 Paradise lost - remembrance 332 The Fall - Leave the Capitol 333 The Kinks - Waterloo Sunset 334 WIRE - Keep exhaling 335 The Peddlers - raining in London 336 Motorhead - damage case 337 10cc - Shock On The Tube (Don't Want Love) 338 Swervedriver - Rave Down 339 Spike Milligan - Tower Bridge 340 Phil Lynott - Solo In Soho 341 Adam and the Ants - Plastic Surgery 342 The Who - Pinball wizard 343 Pulp - Mile end 344 Generation X - Running with the Boss Sound 345 OMD - If You Leave 346 PiL - Public Image 347 Monty Python's Flying Circus TV show - theme song 348 Hall & Oates - London, Luck & Love 349 The Horrors - Three decades 350 Cathedral - Midnight Mountain 351 Killing Joke - glitch 352 Judas Priest - The Ripper 353 Air Raid Siren London Blitz 354 Dragonforce - Fury and the storm 355 Elastica - Connection 356 the Psychedelic Furs - Dumb waiters 357 Samantha Fox - Touch me 358 Wang Chung - Dance hall days 359 Kim Wilde - Water on glass 360 Siouxsie and the Banshees - Overground 361 Atomic Rooster - Tomorrow night 362 Fleetwood Mac - My Heart Beat Like a Hammer 363 Rainbow - Self Portrait 364 Billy Ocean - Love really hurts without you 365 Art of Noise - Beat box (division one) 366 Eurythmics - Never Gonna Cry Again 367 Samson - Grime Crime 368 Go West - we close our eyes 369 Ultravox - Saturday Night In The City Of The Dead 370 King Crimson - 21st Century Schizoid Man 371 Visage - Visage 372 Sandy Denny - Let's Jump The Broomstick 373 Brian Eno - Burning Airlines Give You So Much More 374 Fields Of The Nephilim - Blue water 375 Leftfield - Open Up 376 Blancmange - I've Seen The Word 377 Thomas Dolby - Flying north 378 Sisters of Mercy - Temple of love 379 Royal Orchestra - Royal Entrance Queen Elizabeth II 380 Pink Floyd - Goodbye blue sky 666 David Bowie -  London Bye Ta - Ta 

Play the songs here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC1_ntP663JhZl-hvn9EwFp9L

[paralleljulieverse]

It’s been a while between posts here at the Parallel Julieverse, but we have finally managed to clear a bit of time from work, life, and other such annoyances to get back to what really matters: all things Julie!  And in this post we highlight an interesting tidbit of trivia from late-1950 when Julie was appearing in Red Riding Hood at the Theatre Royal Nottingham, the subject of a recent 70th anniversary tribute post.

Although she had only just turned 15 when she was cast as the eponymous lead in Red Riding Hood, Julie Andrews was already an established juvenile star of considerable note. Her debut star-making turn as a 12-year-old child prodigy in Starlight Roof in 1947/48 garnered widespread media attention and it catapulted the young singer into a whirlwind period of touring performances, radio programmes, West End pantomimes, and even early television appearances. Julie’s subsequent casting as the resident singer in the hit BBC radio series, Educating Archie, augmented her fame further, bringing her voice into the sitting rooms of Britain on a weekly basis and making her a household name. 

With this growing renown came equally expanded opportunities for cross-promotional marketing such as celebrity endorsements and advertising. A particular variant of celebrity promotion popular in the era was the staged 'star visit’ or what today might be termed ‘celebrity event marketing’ (Segrave 2005). Here the star would be invited to appear at a particular event or special occasion as a way of boosting public and media interest, while serving in return as a form of value-adding PR for the star and his/her professional ventures. 

Julie was involved in several such ‘star visits’ during the three month run of Red Riding Hood. During rehearsals in mid-December 1950, she was invited as a VIP guest and honorary judge at the Annual Dance for Booth and Son, a major British apparel manufacturing company (‘Ilkeston’, 1). Around the same time, she paid a special visit to the Nazareth House for Children in Nottingham (‘Night’, 2), as well as the Borough Green Air Training Corps Cadets Open Night where “[p]art of the evening’s entertainment had to be cancelled in order to allow the enthusiastic younger generation to get her autograph” (‘Julie stopped’,  3). 

One of the more fascinating such events -- and the one that we profile here -- was a courtesy visit to famed music impresario, Lawrence Wright. Today, Wright is little remembered, save by a handful of theatre history enthusiasts, but he was a major figure in the British entertainment industry of the early twentieth century (Wright 1988). Popularly dubbed the ‘Daddy of Tin Pan Alley’ and the ‘Monarch of Melody’, Wright started as a music composer in his hometown of Leicester where, under the pseudonym of Horatio Nicholls, he penned a string of popular songs such as “Down by the Stream", “Blue Eyes”, “Toy Drum Major”, and “Among My Souvenirs” (‘Alley’s Daddy’, 3). 

Wright’s greatest success, however, came as a sheet music publisher and entertainment entrepreneur. In 1910, he chanced upon a catchy tune written by a local Leicester street singer called “Don’t Go Down the Mine, Daddy”. He promptly purchased the rights to the song and published it as part of his embryonic music company. A week after the song went on sale, there was a tragic mining disaster in Whitehaven in which 147 men and boys lost their lives. Recognising a potential marketing angle, Wright had a snipe printed across the top of the sheet music declaring that “Half the profits from the first ten thousand sold will go to the relief fund for the Whitehaven pit disaster” (Wright, 4). The song became a national sensation, selling over a million copies, and making Wright a small fortune. With the proceeds, he moved to London and set up shop as the ‘Lawrence Wright Music Company’ in Denmark Street, establishing what would become the city’s ‘Tin Pan Alley’.

Under the slogan, ‘You Can’t Go Wrong with the Wright Song’, Wright became the single biggest music publisher in the UK with an eventual catalogue of over 5000 songs which he leased to major theatre producers and singing artists of the day. In an era when many homes had a piano and singalongs in the parlour were a popular social pastime, Wright also sold his sheet music direct to the public through a nationwide chain of ‘Lawrence Wright Music Shops’. Ever the canny entrepreneur, Wright diversified his business holdings with a host of affiliate ventures. In 1926, he founded The Melody Maker, the first British periodical devoted to popular music, which remained in continuous publication right into the early-2000s. He launched a popular series of self-paced musical tutorials which taught a generation of young Britons how to play everything from the piano to the banjo. Wright also moved into theatre producing, mounting an annual summer revue, On With the Show at the North Pier Pavilion in Blackpool, which ran for 32 years and served as a showcase for many of the nation’s biggest variety acts (Wright 1988). 

One of Wright’s more legendary professional pursuits was in the area of entertainment publicity. An inveterate showman, he would do anything to advertise his latest song or business venture, often falling foul of the authorities with some of his more colourful efforts. To promote his 1927 song, “Me and Jane in a Plane”, he chartered a bi-plane to fly at low altitude around the Blackpool Tower, while Jack Hylton and his Band played the song on board and dropped advertising leaflets to the startled crowds below. He offered £1000 to anyone who could disprove the title of another Wright song, “I’ve Never Seen a Straight Banana”, with the result that Denmark Street was awash with truckloads of fruit sent in by eager contestants. And what better way to launch a tune called “Sahara” than to dress a bevy of beautiful blondes as Arabian princesses and ride them on camels around Piccadilly Circus (Wright, 11; ‘King’, 7).

Less extravagant, but no less important to his business success, was Wright’s promotional use of stars. Across his fifty year career, Wright forged key professional relationships with many leading musical artists of the day. He even married a star: variety singer and comedienne, Betsy Warren, in 1933, though their union ended in divorce after only a few years. More enduring were his collaborations with the scores of stars who sang his songs and appeared in his shows. In 1960 to mark his 50th year in show business, Melody Maker published a special golden anniversary tribute to Wright that was brimming with congratulatory greetings from a cavalcade of stars old and new: everyone from George Formby, Jack Payne, and Billy Cotton to Harry Secombe, Connie Francis, and Frankie Vaughan (Wright, 18).

It was in this context that 15-year-old Julie Andrews found herself paying a promotional ‘star visit’ to Lawrence Wright in late 1950. The precise circumstances surrounding the visit are unknown. The young singer had an existing professional relationship of sorts with Wright, having included several of his songs in her concert repertoire such as “The Dream of Olwen” and “I Heard a Robin Singing”. Indeed, an article in the trade press from this time makes mention of Julie in relation to a newly published Wright number, “The Song of the Tritsch Tratsch” which she had started to perform in some of her concerts and, she was quoted as saying, it “always gets a grand reception” (‘Song Notes’, 4). Another likely influence behind the visit was Tom Arnold, the producer of Red Riding Hood. Arnold was a close business associate of Wright’s and one suspects he may have been instrumental in engineering the visit as a way of promoting his panto. Either way, at some point in November/December 1950, Julie dutifully trotted off to Wright’s office where, with photographers conveniently on hand, the young “panto starlet” was received by the impresario and what press reports termed a chorus of “his stars”.

It is this “chorus of stars” that makes the visit especially interesting from a theatre history perspective. While the names of the five female stars assembled to greet Julie may not ring many bells today, they were all celebrated theatrical luminaries of their day:

Carole Lynne (1918-2008): A glamorous actress and singer of the 1940s, Lynne starred in a string of big West End musicals including Black Velvet (1939), Old Chelsea (1943) opposite Richard Tauber, and a revival of Jill Darling (1945). She also appeared in a number of wartime comedy films such as Ghost Train (1941) and Asking For Trouble (1942) with Max Miller. In 1946, Lynne married famed theatre impresario, Lord Bernard Delfont -- the brother of Sir Lew Grade who would play a major role in Julie’s career -- and, after retiring from the stage in the early 50s, she became  a prominent society hostess and patron to many theatre charities (’Carole Lynne’, 62).

Dorothy Ward (1890-1987): A noted beauty of the Edwardian stage, Ward rose to prominence in West End operettas such as The Dairymaids (1906) and Tom Jones (1907). She achieved her greatest fame, however, as a dashing pantomime Principal Boy, appearing in over 40 pantos across her 50 year career. In many of these shows, she played opposite her husband, Shaun Glenville, a noted panto Dame, and few Christmases passed without the pair “on the same stage, he in skirts and she in tights” ( ‘Obituary: Miss Dorothy Ward’, 14).

Marie Burke (1894-1988): A singer of remarkable versatility, Burke originally trained for an operatic career but found her niche in the lighter fields of operetta and musical theatre. She made a high profile debut as Isolde in Charles Cochran’s controversial 1919 production of Afgar, after which she spent several years touring in the United States and Australia. Burke had her greatest stage success playing the part of Julie in the premiere London production of Show Boat (1928). Thereafter, she headlined several major operettas including the London premiere of Waltzes from Vienna (1931-32) and its Broadway transfer as The Great Waltz (1934), and Don Juan de Mañara (1937) at Covent Garden. Burke had an equally successful screen career, appearing in over 70 films and TV programmes from the teens till the 1970s (‘Obituary: Marie Burke’, 12).

Patricia Burke (1917-2003) : The daughter of Marie, Patricia Burke was born in the proverbial trunk while her mother and father, tenor Tom Burke, were on a concert tour in Milan. Inevitably, she took to the boards herself as a teen, singing and dancing her way to fame in a string of West End musical successes of the 1930s -- with more than a few Julie connections. She made her professional debut in the 1933 premiere of Cole Porter’s Nymph Errant starring Gertrude Lawrence and later appeared alongside Beatrice Lillie in Happy Returns (1938). One of her greatest West End successes was as the female lead in The Lisbon Story (1943), a show which introduced the popular standard, “Pedro, the Fisherman” which Julie would later record. Following the war, Burke made an unexpected move into 'legit’ theatre, playing the female lead opposite Trevor Howard in a well received 1946 Old Vic production of The Taming of the Shrew, followed with a number of other equally high profile performances in classics such as As You Like It (1948), Jonson’s The Alchemist (1948) and Shaw’s Saint Joan (1948). Burke never forgot her popular roots, though, and she continued to alternate dramatic roles with musicals and pantos, as well as appearances in film and TV programmes (‘Patricia Burke’, p. 44). 

Marjorie Browne (1910-1990): Another popular performer of the mid-century, Browne started her career in the mid-twenties as one of producer Charles Cochran’s ‘Young Lady’ beauties, scoring a major success in his revue One Damn Thing After Another (1927). Browne went on to perform widely in hit West End shows such as On Your Toes (1937) and Chu Chin Chow (1940), as well as touring productions of Rose Marie (1942-3), Hit the Deck (1944) and Good Night Vienna (1946). She also appeared in a number of British film musicals of the 30s and 40s including Lassie from Lancashire (1938), Laugh It Off (1940) co-starring Tommy Trinder, and I Didn’t Do It (1945) with George Formby. 

It was, thus, quite the illustrious welcoming committee on hand to receive our young Julie. And, as much as the visit was a factitious PR event staged for the cameras by the ever-wily Lawrence Wright, there is still something deeply moving about its symbolic enactment of a generational passing of the theatrical torch. As representatives of the outgoing old guard, the five grand stars stand at the rear, poised with the confidence of a lifetime’s experience, charging their glasses in warm salute to the rising star of the next generation. That the women are bedecked with the emblematic accoutrements of mid-century celebrity -- furs, coiffure, champagne -- while, in the foreground, an adolescent Julie -- perched rather awkwardly on the corner of the desk, lanky legs akimbo -- is garbed in a homey juvenile ensemble of woollen coat, tartan skirt, ankle socks and Mary Janes -- cradling that perennial icon of cosy British domesticity, a cup of tea -- only adds to the symbolic poignancy.

By 1950, the tide was also starting to ebb for Lawrence Wright. Musical tastes were changing and audiences were fast moving on from the fireplace singalongs and end-of-pier entertainments with which he had built his career. A few short years later, he would stage his final summer revue in Blackpool in 1956, going into semi-retirement before passing in 1964 at age 76. His voluminous catalogue of songs, however, would endure. Prized as a valuable commercial property, the Lawrence Wright catalogue has been owned, at various times, by the Beatles and Michael Jackson, before being bought up by the Universal Music group (Horn, 595). 

As a final Julie connection, years after her 1950 ‘star visit’ to the great man himself, Julie would once again sing a Lawrence Wright song when, as Gertrude Lawrence in the 1968 musical biopic, STAR!, she performed the classic WW1 music hall number, “Burlington Bertie from Bow”. Wright had purchased the rights to "Burlington Bertie” when it was first written in 1914 and it would remain a valuable possession of his corporate trunk. Even though “Burlington Bertie” was not in fact a song ever performed by Gertrude Lawrence, it perfectly captured the flavour of Edwardian music hall and provided an ideal showcase for Julie’s combined vocal and comic talents. The song was also something of a personal favourite for Julie. She had recorded the song previously for her 1962 album of music hall standards, and had even shared the stage in the late-40s with the original “Burlington Bertie” herself, the legendary Ella Shields (Andrews, 116). Julie’s performance of “Burlington Bertie” in STAR! would prove a highlight of that otherwise troubled film and she would continue to perform the number in concert well into the 1980s, proving indeed that “you can’t go wrong with a Wright song”!

Sources:

‘Alley’s Daddy Dead’, 1964. The Stage and Television Today, 21 March: 3.

Andrews, Julie. 2019. Home Work: A memoir of my Hollywood years. London: Weidenfeld & Nicolson.

D.G. 1964. ‘The King is Dead. Long Live the King!’, The Illustrated Chronicle. 22 May: 7.

Heyes, Joy 1991. ‘Obituary: Marjorie Browne.’ The Stage and Television Today, 21 February: 30.

Horn, David 2004.  ‘Lawrence Wright Music Company’ in J. Shepherd et al, eds. Continuum Encyclopedia of Popular Music of the World : Media, industry, society. London: Continuum, pp. 594-95.

 ‘Ilkeston Firm’s Event’, 1950. The Nottingham Evening Post. 16 December: 1.

‘Julie stopped the show at cadet’s open night.’ 1950. The Chronicle and Advertiser. 15 December: 3.

“Night of their Lives: Children at panto. dress rehearsal’, 1950. The Nottingham Evening Post. 23 December: 2.

’Carole Lynne: Glamorous actress and musical theatre star who as Lady delfont became one of London’s leading theatrical hostesses’ 2008. The Times, 22 January: p. 62.

‘Obituary: Marie Burke’ 1988. The Times, 23 March: p.12

‘Obituary: Miss Dorothy Ward’ 1987. The Times, 22 January: p. 14.

‘Patricia Burke: Thirties musical star who proved her range with Shakespearean roles, but retained a love of pantomime.’ 2003, The Times, 27 November: p. 44. 

Segrave, Kerry, 2005. Endorsements in Advertising: A social history. Jefferson, N.C.: McFarland.

‘Song Notes’ 1950. The Stage. 16 November, p. 4.

Wright, Lawrette, 1988. Lawrence Wright: Souvenirs for a century. Chards: Matthews Wright Press.

Copyright © Brett Farmer 2021

[aliveandfullofjoy]

So I was reading about the first Oscars ceremony, and it had a division between Outstanding Picture and Best Unique & Artistic Film, where Unique & Artistic was apparently meant to be an equal to Outstanding Picture but dedicated more for prestige artistic works. The next year, the two categories became one from then on, and Outstanding Picture was the only top prize. (If any of that is wrong, blame wikipedia.)

If the split had remained, and there was a more commercial-y movie top prize and a prestige art top prize, what are some notable movies that suddenly pick up wins?

okay wait........ this is a brilliant question and i am ashamed to say i’ve never really given it much thought until now.

idk if you’ve seen wings and sunrise but they’re both pretty great and they do represent wildly different kinds of filmmaking. while it’s safe to say Wings is the more commercial film, it has great craftsmanship behind it and it very clearly created the template for accessible, capital-i Important, and well-made best picture winners to come. 

and, full transparency, sunrise is one of my, like, top 15 favorite movies, so i’m hella biased, but that movie is a gorgeous and strange and thrilling piece of work. the title “unique and artistic film” is impossibly vague, but watching sunrise makes it very, very clear that it fits that bill for that category. and while we’ll, of course, never know what might have happened if that category had continued, it’s tempting to think that all the winners in unique and artistic film would be of sunrise’s calibre, but knowing the oscars... that’s clearly a fantasy, lol. while sunrise is a wildly inventive and artistic film, it’s important to remember that it was fully on the academy’s radar -- janet gaynor won best actress in part for her performance in the film, and it also won best cinematography. so while it’s tempting to think the academy would always recognize a truly unique and artistic achievement every year, in all likelihood, they probably wouldn’t stray too far from the movies that were already on their radar. 

so for this thought experiment!!

it’s probably safe to assume every best picture winner has to go in one of the two categories. there are only a handful of winners that stick out as maybe missing out on the big win in this new system, but only a handful. 

so uh. this is way more than you asked but i got hooked. here’s what i think might have happened if the two best picture categories had stuck around. as i was working through the years, it became clear to me that, unfortunately, in a lot of years, the unique and artistic film would likely end up going to the more overtly “prestigious” films, such as the song of bernadette or the life of emile zola, while their far better and more commercially viable rivals (casablanca for bernadette, the awful truth for zola) would win outstanding picture. the actual best picture winners have an asterisk next to them. what’s also interesting to consider is the importance of the best director category: most of the time, a split in picture and director will tell you what’s clearly the runner-up. those years, usually, give you a good sense of how the two awards would shake out.

Outstanding Picture / Unique and Artistic Film

1929: The Broadway Melody*; The Divine Lady 

1930: The Big House; All Quiet on the Western Front* 

1931: Cimarron*; Morocco 

1932: Grand Hotel*; Bad Girl

1933: Little Women; Cavalcade*

1934: It Happened One Night*; One Night of Love 

1935: The Informer; A Midsummer Night’s Dream (** this is one of the few years i think the actual BP winner, Mutiny on the Bounty, would miss out; The Informer was clearly the runner-up for BP with wins in director, actor, and screenplay, while Midsummer was seen as THE artistic triumph of the year, and with its historic write-in cinematography win, there was clearly a lot of passion for it)

1936: Mr. Deeds Goes to Town; The Great Ziegfeld*

1937: The Awful Truth; The Life of Emile Zola*

1938: You Can’t Take It With You*; Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs or Grand Illusion (** this one’s tough... Grand Illusion made history as the first non-english movie nominated for BP, and it clearly had a lot of support, but Snow White was such a monumental moment in Hollywood, and the academy clearly acknowledged that with its honorary award)

1939: Gone with the Wind*; The Wizard of Oz (** this is one of the first years with a clear runaway favorite for best picture, which makes guessing the way the other award would go very difficult! i’m leaning towards Oz purely because of its technical achievements, but i’m not confident about that choice at all.)

1940: Rebecca*; The Grapes of Wrath 

1941: How Green Was My Valley*; Citizen Kane

1942: Yankee Doodle Dandy; Mrs. Miniver*

1943: Casablanca*; The Song of Bernadette

1944: Going My Way*; Wilson

1945: The Bells of St. Mary’s; The Lost Weekend*

1946: The Best Years of Our Lives*; Henry V

1947: Gentleman’s Agreement*; A Double Life 

1948: The Treasure of the Sierra Madre; Hamlet*

1949: All the King’s Men*; The Heiress 

1950: All About Eve*; Sunset Boulevard

1951: A Place in the Sun; An American in Paris*

1952: The Greatest Show on Earth*; The Quiet Man 

1953: Roman Holiday; From Here to Eternity*

1954: The Country Girl; On the Waterfront*

1955: Marty*; Picnic

1956: Around the World in 80 Days*; Giant

1957: Peyton Place; The Bridge on the River Kwai

1958: The Defiant Ones; Gigi*

1959: The Diary of Anne Frank; Ben-Hur*

1960: Elmer Gantry; The Apartment*

1961: West Side Story*; Judgment at Nuremberg

1962: To Kill a Mockingbird; Lawrence of Arabia*

1963: Tom Jones*; 8½ 

1964: Mary Poppins; My Fair Lady*

1965: The Sound of Music*; Doctor Zhivago

1966: A Man for All Seasons*; Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

1967: In the Heat of the Night*; The Graduate

1968: Oliver!*; 2001: A Space Odyssey 

1969: Midnight Cowboy; Z 

1970: Airport; Patton*

1971: The French Connection*; The Last Picture Show

1972: The Godfather; Cabaret

1973: The Sting*; The Exorcist

1974: Chinatown; The Godfather, Part II

1975: Jaws; One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest*

1976: Rocky*; Network

1977: Star Wars; Annie Hall*

1978: Coming Home; The Deer Hunter*

1979: Kramer vs. Kramer*; All That Jazz

1980: Ordinary People*; Raging Bull

1981: Chariots of Fire*; Reds

1982: E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial; Gandhi*

1983: Terms of Endearment*; Fanny and Alexander

1984: Amadeus*; The Killing Fields

1985: Out of Africa*; Ran

1986: Platoon*; Blue Velvet

1987: Moonstruck; The Last Emperor*

1988: Rain Man*; Who Framed Roger Rabbit

1989: Driving Miss Daisy*; Born on the Fourth of July

1990: Ghost; Dances with Wolves*

1991: The Silence of the Lambs*; JFK

1992: Unforgiven*; Howards End 

1993: Schindler’s List*; The Piano 

1994: Forrest Gump*; Three Colors: Red 

1995: Braveheart*; Toy Story 

1996: Jerry Maguire; The English Patient*

1997: Titanic*; L.A. Confidential

1998: Shakespeare in Love*; Saving Private Ryan

1999: The Cider House Rules; American Beauty*

2000: Traffic; Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (** this is another year where i think the actual BP winner, Gladiator, might have missed out. it was a tight three-way race going into oscar night, and if there were two BP awards, i think this consensus might have settled, leaving Gladiator to go home with just actor and some tech awards.)

2001: A Beautiful Mind*; Mulholland Drive

2002: Chicago*; The Pianist

2003: Mystic River; The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King*

2004: Million Dollar Baby*; The Aviator

2005: Crash*; Brokeback Mountain

2006: The Departed*; Babel

2007: No Country for Old Men*; The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

2008: The Dark Knight; Slumdog Millionaire*

2009: The Hurt Locker*; Avatar

2010: The King’s Speech*; The Social Network

2011: The Artist*; The Tree of Life

2012: Argo*; Life of Pi

2013: 12 Years a Slave*; Gravity 

2014: Birdman*; Boyhood

2015: Spotlight*; The Revenant

2016: La La Land; Moonlight*

2017: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri; The Shape of Water*

2018: Black Panther; Roma (** again, i think Green Book gets bumped out in this scenario, i think Black Panther is precisely the kind of movie that benefits from an award that’s seemingly more ~populist~ while Roma easily snags the unique & artistic prize)

2019: 1917; Parasite*

2020: The Father; Nomadland*

but of course i have no idea at all, and most of these are just my gut reactions lol. what a fun question!

[talkfastromance4]

Breathing Our Last Breath-- Vampire!Luke Part 2

A/N: thank you thank you thank you! For all your love and support on my vampire series!🥰 it means everything to me. The title and overall theme correlates PERFECTLY with BMTH’s song ‘One Day the only butterflies left will be in your chest as you march towards your death.’ When I first heard the song I couldn’t believe how well it fit in with the way I wanted this story to go. And once again...I apologize but the angst will be worth it trust me. Love you please don’t hate me @irwinkitten​ 

Word count: 5.7k

Warnings: blood drinking, slight manic episode of the vampiric kind

To catch up:

Giving You My Soul (Part 1)

A bite (blurb)

Fangs (blurb)

Masterlist

• • • •

Him

Luke sought out the help of Michael the next morning after he and Y/N connected last night. It was after he showed her his fangs that while she was sighing his name he almost told her. He almost told her he loved her, but he couldn’t make himself do so. Cheeks flushed, hair splayed across his pillow with his bite marks staring up at him on her left breast, the words were caught between his teeth.

Saying those three words would complicate things more. Change her or keep her human? He stayed up all night wrestling with his thoughts while she slept soundly next to him. When she’d make a noise of contempt, he’d reach over and stroke her face until she relaxed, falling back into a pleasant dream.

He wrote her a note telling her of his whereabouts, gave a quick kiss to her forehead then ran to Michael’s place. He gave a swift knock to the door before bustling in only to find Michael and Kitty cuddled together against the counter.

Kitty’s legs were wrapped around Michael’s waist, their hands in his hair while Michael nuzzles against their neck. Kitty chuckles then opens their eyes when the front door snaps shut. They tap on Michael’s shoulder then says Luke’s name.

“Don’t you knock?” Michael asks turning around. His tone is accusatory, but his face is teasing, his eyes seem a brighter green than normal.

“I did, then just walked right in. Sorry to interrupt,” Luke grins. “Good morning, Kitty.”

“Morning, Luke,” Kitty laughs letting their legs fall against the cupboards. “Is Y/N with you? I can make us some breakfast.”

“No, she’s back at my place still asleep. I came to discuss something with you, Mike.”

Michael notices the change in Luke’s voice, he swallows thickly then turns to Kitty.

“How about you go take a shower and I’ll have breakfast ready for you, hm?”

“All right,” Kitty sighs slipping onto the floor. They peck Michael’s lips. “I want French toast. See you later, Luke. Tell Y/N I say hello.”

“I will,” Luke smiles at them. When he hears the bathroom door close he joins Michael at the counter who’s grabbing the breakfast essentials.

“What’s going on?”

“Are you going to change Kitty?” Luke blurts out. He tried coming up with an easy way to bring up the topic but couldn’t come up with something.

“I haven’t really thought about it or discussed it with them, why? Are you thinking of changing Y/N?”

“I don’t know,” he murmurs quietly and leans against the counter.

“What brought this on?” Michael grabs the loaf of bread then moves to the fridge for eggs and milk.

“I feasted on her a couple weeks ago and now…I can’t exist without her, Mike.”

Michael sighs. “And since then you don’t want to change her but also don’t want her to die as a human…Have you talked with her?”

“No. It’s not really a conversation I want to have.”

“No one wants to have that kind of conversation,” Michael chortles cracking two eggs in a bowl. He adds a splash of milk then stirs the contents until it turns a pale yellow. He flicks on the stovetop then continues to stir. “She cares about you, too. Don’t make a choice that’s hers to make in the first place.”

“I feel selfish, asking her to make a choice between human or Vampirism and for what? Me?”

“Luke, she loves you. I know you’ve never really been in a solid relationship, but communication is key. Tell her what you’re thinking. Is this why you’ve been acting strange the last few weeks?”

“I’ve been acting strange? How?” Luke crosses his arms and becomes intent on watching Michael dip the piece of bread in the yolk and milk creation. Y/N likes her French toast with strawberries, cream, and syrup.

“You didn’t hear this from me,” Michael warns lowly, “but Y/N was telling Kitty you two haven’t really been…intimate in a while. Since you feasted now I know why. We haven’t known each other for very long but I can tell you’re pulling away, pushing the thing that scares you out of sight. But while you do that, you’re pushing her away as well.”

Luke is stunned into silence. Has he really not touched Y/N since the night he bit her? He goes through his memory quickly of the last several weeks then sees what Michael is talking about. No wonder Y/N was shocked at his sudden need of affection last night. The whole encounter felt different, something has shifted between them and he’s the cause of it.

“How can I do that without realizing it?”

“You’ve been alone for thousands of years,” Michael shrugs plopping the bread in the pan. It sizzles from the heat. “Kind of funny how I’m giving you words of wisdom, eh?”

Luke rolls his eyes but silently agrees. Michael has given him much to think about and all too quickly that becomes very dangerous. He weighs all three of his options; change her so they can be together forever, keep her human, and the third is discussing the first two options with her. The last one scares the hell out of him. He never wants to put her in danger or a place of discord.

For all of his life—human and immortal—he’s never had to worry about someone else. Hell, what he thought was courting her with the gifts he left was actually a little offensive. Then to ask her to give up her life to spend it with him? Does she love him, too?

His thoughts take over every part of him when he returns home to find her in one of his silk shirts—the teal one that contrasts nicely with her skin—making her own breakfast. His mind is elsewhere but he plays the actions well of kissing her temple and having small chat.

**

Luke hides his thoughts and emotions extremely well around Y/N for the next week. He acts normal. Kisses her, tangles his fingers in her hair and watches over her at the Bar in case Brone tried to approach. On the outside, he played his part well but on the inside he was in turmoil.

He’s been a wanderer, never staying in one place long, never getting attached to someone—human and Vampire alike. This is the longest he’s stayed in one place since Italy and he’s made a friend in Michael and found a deep love with Y/N.

He’s read of love, he even played Romeo at one point in his life. Songs are rooted from love, paintings, movies, poems. He’s observed it in many forms but has never experienced it. This is all new territory for him, waters he’s never swam in before.

Now, he’s faced with the choice to love her for the rest of her days or make her like him. Sure, he lives an extraordinary life, rubbing elbows with royals and celebrities, experiencing history firsthand. He’s seen the world change many times over while he remains the same. Frozen.

Another week goes by filled with questions and more questions. While Y/N sleeps in his bed, her hand is tucked under chin and his shirt hangs off her body, he walks. He walks through the house, examines his belongings, tickles the ivories on his piano as he passes by then he walks his grounds.

He can hear Y/N wherever he goes, the steady lull of her heart and if she wakes he’ll be by her side in a moment. She’s in no danger.

As he walks, he thinks. He imagines the life they would have had back in his time. They’d have a large estate with beautiful furniture and paintings while her closet would be filled with flowing gowns. There’d be plenty of children running the grounds. A happy life, a promised life.

His head snaps to the house when Y/N rolls out of bed and stumbles tiredly into the bathroom across the way. He races back inside taking his place back in bed just as she emerges from the bathroom.

“Where were you?” she asks thickly and falls next to him.

“I got you some water,” he says holding up a glass. He got it on his way.

She rubs her eyes then takes a few gulps before curling up next to him. She fits perfectly against him, her body molding to his shape like the perfect puzzle. Luke stays awake, asking himself a million questions but never finding one answer.

**

Luke starts to spiral as more days go by. He decides to fast on his feedings as if doing so would clear his head. His assumption would soon be wrong.

He distances himself even more from Y/N by dropping her off at her place instead of his after her shifts at the Bar. He uses the excuse that he’s remodeling and doesn’t want to risk her getting hurt or inhaling too much paint.

That’s the first lie.

While he continues to deny his thirst, he starts to go mad, spiraling down a dark place he’s never been before. He’s going to a place which started the mask mandate in the first place. Vampires wanted to exist in society but when they denied their drinking they became lustful and more dangerous for a bite. The savage ones used the form of fasting as their own kind of drug, it made them see things, feel things they haven’t before.

While he looks at his memorabilia he’s transported back in time with whatever object he’s looking at. His eyes are darkened which darkens the world around him as he’s reacquainted with his old friends. He has gallant parties with them in his trinket room, his manic laughter echoing throughout the house. To a bystander or peeping Tom, they would see he’s completely alone while ghosts of his past keep him false company.

He ignores Michael and Kitty’s calls then slips further and further from Y/N. He makes more excuses. The second lie is when he tells her he needs a break. Something has come up in Italy. An old acquaintance needs help. Y/N asks what exactly the break means, and Luke laughs at the simple question that has an even simpler answer.

“A break of us. I need space, Y/N, my feelings have changed.”

That was the second lie.

The third lie is that he’s close to his answer, but he needs a little more time. A little more time of not consuming blood and everything will fall into place. He’s not sure how many days have gone by when he reaches this realization. The lack of sleep and blood alters time. (It’s really been a whole month).

**

Luke wakes from a dream, was it really a dream? Y/N was there, and they were laying in the white sands of Cala Luna beach in Italy. He’s not sure what woke him up, but she was on his mind. Not that she hasn’t been for the last however many days. When was the last time he saw her?

He thinks of calling her but then quickly changes his mind. He ended it so he wouldn’t have to force her to make a decision between her life and him. He’s even more of a danger to her now because he’s been without blood for so long and the way she smells to him? His actions could be catastrophic but that dream…he wants to take her to Cala Luna, kiss her in the sand.

He’s made up his choice.

He searches for his phone, checks the date and time and it’s her day off from the bar so he could go and get a blood bag, replenish himself and go see her. He’s ready to open up to her, wrap her in his arms again and kiss her chest with butterfly kisses.

“The Bar,” he mutters then laughs joyously at his brilliant idea.

He decides to run there and in his crazed mind he somehow remembers to put on his mask, although it’s haphazardly placed. Plus, he’s faster than his car anyway so the faster he gets to the bar the faster he can go to Y/N.

The scents of A positive and O negative tickles his nose and burns his throat. He’s so damn thirsty. His mouth waters as he rushes to the bar and orders two bags. He finishes them in seconds, not even using the glass supplied. He feels the blood drip down his chin and Trixie eyes him cautiously as he asks for two more bags.

Halfway through his fourth, a warm body presses into his back. With the lack of blood for so many days, or weeks, drinking it now and in such a rush has him buzzed. His eyesight isn’t completely back yet, it’s as if he has dark spots clouding his vision. How he’s feeling is the equivalence of drinking alcohol and getting drunk.

Luke turns around quickly; his normally pristine vision distorts the figure in front of him. A warm hand touches his cheek, their blood is sweet with a hint of flowers. In his distorted state, his body is on a fine line of going back to normal and lingering on his blood deprived state, he knows it’s not Y/N.

“Hey, it’s all right. I know who you’re looking for,” Celeste says, but his mind alters it into a singing tone.

“Y/N?” he mumbles. Was she really here?

Celeste’s blood entices him. The blood bags are fine and all but drinking directly from a warm body is better. Being out of human contact for so long, her blood allures him tenfold.

“Yeah, she’s upstairs fixing one of the beds,” Simone sings next to him now.

“She is?” he shifts in his chair then nearly stumbles out of it at the thought of seeing Y/N. Then he’s filled with embarrassment. He can’t let her see him like this.

“We’ll clean you up,” Celeste hoists him against her body. His mind reels at the scent of her blood.

“Yeah, come on, sweetie.”

Their voices sing to him as they lead him towards the stairs. The promise of seeing Y/N allows Celeste and Simone’s help. He doesn’t quite remember the stairs being this long, his body feels heavy and he can feel the blood slosh around. Will she be disgusted seeing it on his lips?

A door opens then he’s rushed inside, his legs knocking into each other as he’s pushed against the back of a couch. He starts to giggle. Was Y/N down the hall and Celeste and Simone shove him in the nearest room to save himself from having her see him this way?

“What’s so funny?” Celeste asks brushing away a curl.

“Hiding while I’m seeking,” he giggles. The girls join in his laughter then is jacket is pulled off.

“You know what will help when you see her?”

“We heard all that happened between you two,” Celeste rubs his cheek.

“Yes, we’ve grown quite close the three of us,” Simone sighs.

“What will help? I’ll do anything,” his words slur together. He keeps blinking his eyes trying to get rid of the dark splotches.

“Feed on us, Luke,” Celeste whispers in his ear. “We can tell you’ve been fasting. Your pretty blue eyes are so dark.”

“Yeah, and you don’t want Y/N to see you like this, right?”

“No! No, no, no, no,” he shakes his head, eyes closing. “She can’t see me. I can’t hurt her.”

“Shh, shh,” Celeste hushes while Simone touches his hand. “We’ll help you…”

“Yeah, we’ve got you sweetie…”

Simone reaches for the button of his shirt while Celeste offers him her neck. In his delirium he’s back at the beach in his dream with Y/N and she’s the one offering her neck. Her blood is so sweet, and he loves her so much, he gives in to “Y/N”’s actions.

“Go on, take a bite.”

HER

Y/N received a note from Michael and Kitty to meet them upstairs at the Bar. She’s very thankful for them because after the whirlwind of confusion with Luke they really helped her out. They kept her occupied and her mind off things while also providing comfort that Luke will come around.

When she walks inside she looks to the Bar in search of Trixie, she gives her a wave, but Trixie is busy with the slew of customers. Y/N climbs the stairs then sees the room the note indicated. Y/N opens the door and is horrified by what she sees. Her stomach plummets, her mouth opens in a silent scream and her heart shatters in a million pieces.

Luke’s shirt is wide open, his mouth latched onto Celeste’s neck while Simone is on her knees in front of him.

“Y/N, Y/N…” he mumbles.

Tears sting her eyes. She’s gasping for breath while trying to speak his name. She hasn’t seen him in weeks, all this time she was hopeful he’d come back. That he would tell her what he was going through, and they could work it out together whatever it was ailing him. How could she be so naïve?

“Oh, look. We have a guest,” Celeste moans. She smiles deviously at Y/N who wipes furiously at her eyes trying to dry her tears.

“Y/N! What—” Michael’s voice appears and that pulls Luke from his stupor.

Luke shoves Celeste away, blood dripping down his chin. He gasps when he spots Y/N, falling apart in front of him. For a fraction of the smallest second, their eyes meet. He tries to say her name while tossing Simone off of him, attempting to fix his shirt and pants. Then she’s gone, running from the room and away from Luke.

“What the hell are you doing, Luke?” she hears Michael shout.

“Y/N?!”

Was that Kitty she passed? Y/N doesn’t know and keeps running, nearly stumbling down the stairs. As she runs Luke tries to get away from the two sirens who used his weakness against him. Y/N’s face sobered him, cleared his vision.

“Get the fuck out,” Michael hisses at the women. They scamper away with Luke trying to follow but Michael blocks his path. “Talk.”

Back downstairs, Y/N’s legs are shaking, her whole body is in tremors. Her heart is breaking and so is the rest of her. Trixie spots her just as Kitty catches up.

“What--?” Trixie’s eyes are wide at the sight of Y/N.

“Luke was upstairs with Celeste and Simone,” Kitty spits in anger. “Y/N, come here.”

Kitty pulls her against their chest, Y/N collapses all too easily with tears falling relentlessly from her eyes.

“Here, have her sit down. Try to catch your breath, babe,” Trixie consoles then runs for a water.

Kitty shuffles over to a chair but Y/N is resisting. She can’t be here. Not with Luke just upstairs and Celeste and Simone.

“No. T-take me h-home…I don’t wa-want to s-see him,” Y/N chokes out. Kitty glances towards the stairs but doesn’t see Luke or Michael. They nod to Y/N.

“Okay, I’ll take you home.”

“What happened?” Trixie asks on her return with a bottle of water.

As if on cue, Luke has flashed in front of them quicker than the speed of light. Kitty places their arms around Y/N protectively, guarding her from Luke and glares at him. Michael appears as well, his hand moving to Luke’s chest that is spotted in blood and still unbuttoned.

“Ask Luke,” Kitty sneers then leads Y/N out the door.

Kitty tries to console Y/N the best they can at her apartment but she’s sobbing so hard it’s hard to breathe. She gasps for breath so much that she dry heaves. Kitty holds Y/N’s face in their hands and recites a breathing technique to her. Her breathing finally picks up but her tears continue.

After a couple of hours, Y/N finally falls asleep, but it isn’t for very long. She wakes up, remembers what happened and her heart breaks all over again. She’s stuck between rose colored dreams of Luke and the dark nightmare that is her reality. She’s not quite sure which is worse to endure.

**

Days go by and she hasn’t left her bed. She’s cried herself dry and is left with her skin tight and dry. Her eyes are puffy. She’s so sleepy but she fights it off not wanting to dream of Luke. While she’s awake she wonders what she’s doing then hates herself for wanting to be with him after what she saw.

Kitty forces her to drink some water but refuses to eat. She simply has no appetite. Like her heart it’s disappeared.

On the seventh day, Michael arrives with a bag of goodies for her. While he was with Luke, Kitty and Michael were in constant communication trying to figure out exactly what had happened. When Michael discovered Luke had fasted he became so angry he shoved Luke so hard he flew out the window. Luke didn’t put up a fight, he knows he deserves way worse.

Luke begged and begged for Michael to bring him to Y/N but Michael refused, he’s done enough damage. When Luke overheard Michael discussing Y/N with Kitty and how they couldn’t get her to eat Luke jumped to her aid. He told Michael that taking a shower helps center herself and she needs a lot of blankets. Her comfort food is a warm cooked meal of chicken and mashed potatoes with brownies for dessert.

Michael stared at him in shock but heeded his advice then made his way to Y/N’s. He sits next to her on her bed, removes his mask then gives her an apologetic smile.

“Hi.”

She doesn’t say anything and continues to look out the window. He reveals the goodies in his bag, says he’ll cook her favorite food and that Kitty will help her take a hot shower.

“I want a bath,” she mutters.

“I’ll make sure it’s nice and warm,” Kitty promises then helps her from her bed.

The sun rises, the sun sets. The moon rises, the moon sets.

Her days roll endlessly together that she loses track of time. Her appetite comes back but it’s slim pickings. Her face doesn’t feel so stiff from her tears, but she still isn’t sleeping that well. Usually when she’d have a nightmare, Luke would hold her and murmur in her ear sweet things. Sometimes it would be in Italian and his words would turn into a song lulling her back to sleep.

She hasn’t returned to work, refuses to because she doesn’t want to come in contact with Luke. If she saw Celeste and Simone she knew she would claw their eyes out. Trixie is more than understanding and has banned Celeste and Simone from ever returning. Trixie made sure Y/N knew her job would be there for her when she returns and would still get paid.

She overheard Michael and Kitty saying that Luke hasn’t left the bar since that night. She wonders if he still has the blood on his face or did he clean it off? Surely Trixie wouldn’t let him sit there looking like that. She hates how she’s worried for him.

The sun rises, the sun sets. The moon rises, the moon sets.

Y/N wakes to hear Michael and Kitty talking loudly and in exasperated voices. She steps into the living room where they’re seated, Michael has his phone in his hand.

“What’s going on?” Y/N asks, their heads snap in her direction.

“It’s Luke. He’s been hurt.”

THEM

He hates himself. He let his fear take control which left him powerless. He’s sitting at the bar like he has been for the past five weeks, never leaving this spot in case Y/N walks in. He overheard Trixie on the phone with Michael that she takes as long as she needs to return.

He has half a mind to try her at her apartment but a nasty text from Kitty made him stay away. Michael would visit him frequently, drinks a blood bag with him. Michael hated seeing Luke this way, his skin is an unhealthy pallor, his eyes darkened with purple and black circles underneath.

His heart hasn’t beat in centuries, yet he takes on the appearance of what a broken heart looks like. When Luke asks about Y/N his voice is papery thin. He sounds as old as he is, thousands of years old. Fading, decrepit, frail.

Brone stalks up behind him, pushing Luke against the counter. Luke takes it but turns around slowly.

“You look like hell,” Brone laughs. “You’re really this torn up over that flower? Was she really that good in bed?”

“What do you want, Brone?” Luke croaks.

“Let’s have a little chat outside…”

Brone’s teeth sever into Luke’s flesh, his back, his shoulder, his arms. The venom doesn’t harm him, but it fills him with enough pain that he feels himself losing feeling in his body. In between bites, Brone screams at Luke to fight back. He’s waited all this time to get revenge on him for stealing away the love of Brone.

“What are you talking about?” Luke coughs out.

“Remember Lenore?”

Luke vaguely remembers the strawberry-blond woman. It was back in the early 1940’s, she was a candy striper. Luke befriended her one morning on his routine walk when her hat flew off her head. He caught it and they bonded over a new song from Glen Miller and his band.

The closer they got the more she confided in him and that’s when Brone was brought up. Luke has crossed paths with him too many times to know what Lenore was about to tell him.

“She never shared the same feelings for you,” Luke groans. He slumps to the ground against the wall, his body is starting to lock up from the venom.

“Yeah well, now I’m going to take yours from you.”

“No,” Luke hisses through his teeth. He tries to move but to no avail, the venom is quick, and he’s frozen as stone against the wall.

Brone crouches in front of him, smirking. “Oh, yes. I’ll get to see what’s so special about her to you, then I’ll feast on her. Might change her, might drink her dry. I haven’t decided yet. Catch you around, Luke.”

Luke fills with white hot anger, but he’s immobilized. He feels his eyes become heavy, the venom overtakes him, and his world goes dark.

“LUKE!”

Her voice. He hears her voice and tries to reach her but he’s floating somewhere. Somewhere that’s dark and still. Luke tries to resurface, reaching for the sound of her heart. She’s sobbing his name so close in his ear. Is she touching him? He can’t feel it. He wants to tell her to run, to get to safety.

“LU—”

He hears a commotion.  Brone’s voice and Y/N’s then a scream and a thump. Michael’s voice. Trixie’s voice. Y/N’s heart jumps erratically, her breath gasping. Luke tries to scream her name. He tries to claw his way from the darkness.

The voices blend together, he’s trying to follow along with the words, but he can’t grasp on anything quite yet. Is Y/N all right? What’s happened? Where’s Brone?

Michael’s voice warps in and out of his mind while he’s screaming on the inside.

**

It starts in his fingertips and toes. He’s gaining sensation back in his body and when he can twitch his fingers he feels Y/N’s hand next to his. Her heart is still beating but it’s staggered. Where were they? Luke smells the area and they’re in his home on his bed. His bed that still smells of her sweet floral scent.

Michael and Kitty’s voices carry from downstairs, but Luke doesn’t decipher what they’re saying. His hearing is still deep underwater in the lake of the venom. His fingers twitch some more then he brushes her skin. That excites him. He keeps twitching his fingers until he hooks them with hers, he grasps her tightly, so she’ll know he’s there.

Did Brone bite her? Is she changing? Did he just drink a lot of her blood that it’s taking her so long to recover? He wants answers but if Michael brought them to his home then she has to be all right. Right?

More time passes and his ability to move travels up his legs and arms. His eyes and mouth are still clamped shut, that’s the last place the venom reached him, so it’ll also be the last place he recovers. He flexes his finger and toes, bones cracking from being still for so long. At least he can get a firmer hold on Y/N’s hand, now he rubs his thumb over her skin.

Slowly but surely, he feels the weight on his chest disappear. His neck feels lighter and he can turn it from side to side. Not long now and he can open his eyes, he can look at Y/N and assess what’s happened. He can apologize. He can tell her he loves her. He can tell her that fasting was a terrible idea and that he was scared. He can tell her he’ll do anything to gain her forgiveness back.

He counts the time with his clock from his trinket room. It’s been two hours and his jaw goes slack. He opens his mouth and can taste Y/N’s scent in the air.

“Come on, come on,” he mutters wanting his eyes to open now. Open, open, open, open!

Two minutes and his eyes flash open, he has gained full mobility back and he crouches next to Y/N. Her eyes are closed, there’s bite marks on her arms but he doesn’t smell the venom. So why hasn’t she woken up?

“Michael!”

Michael appears.

“Finally. I was about to lose my mind. How are you--?”

“What happened?” Luke interrupts pressing his hand to Y/N’s forehead. She’s not her normal temperature.

“I’m not too sure. When I came, she was on the ground next to you bleeding. I tried to get Brone and kill him, but Trixie got him with her cross bow in his shoulder and he ran off. I would’ve gone after him, but you were frozen and Y/N…I don’t know what’s wrong. I think he fed off her, but I don’t know why she isn’t waking up,” Michael explains in a rush.

“Y/N, lovie…” Luke murmurs caressing her cheek. He kisses her hand that’s still in his, her skin cold. Her heart starts to flutter.

“…uke…” she barely utters.

“I’m right here, love, what can I do to help?” he begs cradling her face.

“Butterflies…” she exhales, and he’s confused. What about butterflies?

“Hm? Should I get you some chocolate?”

Her eyebrows pull together, a weak movement, but he notices it.

“Do you feel butterflies?” he asks gently, her thumb jerks against his hand. That must be yes. “Where are they? They’re not hurting you, are they?”

“No…take me…away…”

“They’re taking you away? Where are they taking you?”

“F…from you…”

“You have to bite her,” Michael says. Luke had forgotten he was in the room.

“What?”

“If butterflies are taking her away then I think that means she’s…she’s dying. You have to change her Luke. Now.”

Luke looks at her frantically. Her heart has staggered more but she appears fine so how--?

“Luke!”

He hovers over her, rests his forehead against hers.

“I’m so sorry for what I’ve done. I’m sorry for being distant and not talking to you. I pushed you away to try and protect you and now look at you. I’m so sorry for hurting you and for Celeste and Simone…they used my befuddled mind and lack of feasting against me. You’re the only one I want, the only one I desire, the only one I love. I can change you, make you like me but only if it’s your wish, Y/N. I’m so, so sorry lovie,” he confesses in one breath.

She squeezes his hand the best she can.

“Change…please…I can’t…leave…you…” her voice barely registers a normal octave.

“Are you sure?” he whispers nudging his nose against hers.

“I love you.”

It was her most coherent sentence. Luke kisses her forehead then moves to her chest. He pulls her shirt away so he can see his bite marks from months ago when he first bit her. He kisses the spot, lips soft as the butterflies, extracts his fangs and sinks his teeth into her flesh. She lets out a shaky breath as his venom spreads through her.

When he’s expelled enough, he licks his tongue over the puncture then drags his lips towards hers. His Sleeping Beauty will sleep now while her body changes, he gave her the kiss of death that will bring her to a new life.

“Don’t go…hold me….”

Tears leak from her eyes as the venom spreads, Luke kisses them away.

“I won’t leave you. You’re going to hurt, but I’ll keep you wrapped in my arms.”

He adjusts himself so he can hold her against him, her heart leaping and jumping at different speeds. Michael mumbles something about being downstairs to tell Kitty. Luke kisses her hair, breathes her in before the pain will take over.

Thankfully, the process isn’t long. It takes about twelve hours for the body to fully change into a Vampire. He stays with her while her breathing quickens then turns shallow. He keeps holding her when she thrashes against him, begging him to take the pain away. He holds her while she screams, telling her how much he loves her.

Her screams continue after the second hour. Her body goes slack, but her voice rings out from the searing pain. Her heart rate keeps increasing.

The sun sets, the moon rises.

When the clock chimes midnight, her screams go silent and her heart comes to a full stop. Luke’s gaze hasn’t left her face and he watches, and he waits. He touches her cheek with his fingers, she flinches then relaxes when she smells him.

“I’m right here,” he murmurs. She turns towards his voice; his arms relax around her, but he doesn’t pull away.

Then, like a butterfly appearing from their cocoon, she opens her eyes to a new life.

• • • •

Taglist: @calpalirwin​  @thecurlsofgod​ @myloverboyash​ @rotten-kandy​ @tea4sykes​ @jannimoeller3​ @loveroflrh​ @iovehemmings​ @cxddlyash​ @princesslrh​  @katiaw2​ @g-l-pierce​ @fairyintheglass​ @gosh-im-short​ @banditocth @dezzym17 @koalacal @lukeisbaby​ @spicycal​ @mysticalhood​ @notinthesameguey​ @wastedheartcth​  @itjustkindahappenedreally​ @calumance​ @babylon-corgis​ @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt​ @lanternlover2​ @istaywithmyjonas​ @calteahood​ @sarcastically-defensive17​ @another-lonely-heart​ @devilatmydoor​ @frontmanash​ @philthepegacorn​ @mantlereid @lukedorkyhemmings​ @addietagglikesbands​ @kikixfandoms @sanrioluke​ @mayve-hems​ @morguelth @haikucal​ @thatscooibaby​ @meghanrose05​​ @idontneedanyone​​ @dinosaursandsocks​​ @haveufoundwhaturlooking4​ @suchalonelysunflower​​ @burstintocolor​​ @zhangyixingxing1​​ @dead-and-golden​​ @mymindwide​​ @everyscarisahealingplace​​ @stardust-galaxies​​ @blackbutterfliescal​​ @redrattlers​​ @lovelybonesetc​​ @karajaynetoday​​ @quasighost​​ @i-like-5sos​​ @creampiecashton​​ @calpops​ @superbloomed-c​

[glowcrizzle]

Today is the 1 year AO3 anniversary of Slow Show by @mia-ugly. I am beyond grateful that this experience (and it is an experience) has existed in my life for a year and felt it needed commemorating. 🎂  

I’m not a creator but I made this playlist for me, so I could take the fic with me, have it with my eyes closed, while driving -- you get it. Today seems like an appropriate day to share it. 

It’s a. It’s a lot. Excessive you might even say. Tumblr will only give you the first 100 songs in this, so, Spotify will fulfill you (or overwhelm you). If you hit my username on the playlist, there are separate playlists for each chapter. 

This is also on Apple Music, if that’s your jam, just hit me up and I’ll send you the link. 

🎉 Happy Slow Show Day!! 🎉 

13 pages of track-lists and excerpts below the cut. Godspeed! 💙

Key:

Songs from Mia’s soundtrack

Songs from the Fic

.

--Title--

Slow Show – The National 

_

--Prequel--

Loverman – Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds 

Devils – Say Hi 

_

--Chapter 1--

Here I Go Again – Whitesnake 

_

bad guy – Billie Eilish 

-trash a set and shag your husband

_

Something About You (ODESZA Remix) – Hayden James 

-what it would take for Avery Fell to let his guard down

_

A Little Wicked – Valerie Broussard 

-The handkerchief in his hand is now stained purple

_

You Light Me Up In the Dark – The Hounds Below

-His hair catches the light like a halo, making him look more of an angel than ever.

_

Lazarus – David Bowie 

-This could be a problem

_

--Chapter 2--

Unsteady – X Ambassadors

-much easier than talking about the way his heartbeat is still racing

_

Heart of a Dog – The Kills

-Call me darling again.

_

The Twilight Hour - Still Corners

-Looked across the set and thought, Ah fuck me. I’m in love with him.

_

God’s Mistake – Tears for Fears 

-Avery: He’s closed his eyes again, mouth going flat and still.

_

Lounge Act – Nirvana

-Tell her all the terrible things I want to do to her husband

_

Transatlanticism – Death Cab for Cutie

-There’s a strange urgency tonight, though, and Crowley can guess why.

_

Do I Wanna Know? – Arctic Monkeys

-What could it hurt?

_

Clueless – The Marias 

-“Better - yeah. ‘S late.”

_

Motel – Meg Myers

-The hotel room is another disaster

_

--Chapter 3--

Alone in a Room – Asking Alexandria 

-“I’m having a moment here!”

_

Since You’ve Been Around – Rosie Thomas 

-makes Crowley feel like he can breathe again

_

Home Again – The Disco Biscuits 

-It’s starting to feel like home again

_

Every Other Freckle – alt-J

-Perfect. Ridiculous and impossible and perfect.

_

Something For the Longing – The Orchids 

_

As Far As I Can See – Phantogram 

-it’s been a really, really long time

_

Sinister Kid – The Black Keys 

-“Mothering buggering shit-”

_

All These Things That I’ve Done – The Killers

-Crowley fists one of his hands against his forehead, shuts his eyes tightly.

_

--Chapter 4--

I Like Me Better – Lauv

-I liked the outline of your face under the stagelights

_

I Do This for You (ft. Marlene) – Giorgio Moroder

-“Let me see what I can do. About your precious Hamlet.”

_

The Longing – Imelda May 

-Avery POV: “Look at him like - like - you can’t let him see the way you look at him.”

_

Just a Man – Los Lobos

-Avery POV: like he’s being led into battle and not onto a set to do the job he loves

_

World In My Eyes – Depeche Mode 

-wants to make that bastard purr

_

Tired (ft. Gavin James) – Alan Walker

-Let me be a magpie for you

_

Blow My Mind – The Benjamin Gate 

-Avery: “I know you now.”

_

Breathe You in My Dreams – Trixie Whitley

-Crowley’s seen that expression on Avery’s face in his dreams

_

Love Me Like That (ft. Carly Rae Jepsen) – The Knocks

-What have I done to - oh. Oh. Right.

_

Like Real People Do - Hozier

-“Sure, angel, what- whatever.”

_

Clearly – Grace VanderWaal 

-Crowley waits for the rest of the night.

_

Gwendel – PeelsDeen 

-Az sits in the back seat, away from Crowley. Alone.

_

Now I’m In It – HAIM

-Avery POV: It’s a look like an open grave, a look like desire tempered with grief…

_

Flesh for Fantasy – Billy Idol

-Crowley isn’t lonely for the rest of the night

_

--Chapter 5 (Avery POV)--

Smalltown Boy – Rosborough 

-1978, Hartlepool

_

Bright Horses – Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

-1986, Newcastle Upon Tyne

_

The Runner – Foals

-1991, Bristol

_

Shock To Your System – Tegan and Sara

-Tracy: “Why d’you let them?”

_

Cracking Codes – Andrew Bird

-“Forever, of course. I’ll never -”

_

Colour me In – Damien Rice

-Their fingers - just touch. Slightly.

_

I’m Not in Love – 10cc

-Less to regret by not ever speaking of it.

_

--Chapter 6--

Electric Current – Lower Dens 

-“I’ll let you know when you find it.”

_

Guess I Miss(ed) You – The Daylights

-Keep talking, keep him here a little while longer.

_

Reflecting Light – Sam Phillips 

-“don’t meet his eyes like that, it looks like it’s a lead-in to a kiss”

_

King of Pain – The Police

-a good reminder of the kind of life he’s got to live

_

I Wanna Get Better – The Bleachers

-and Avery’s gaze is so gentle it hurts a bit

_

Feather – X Ambassadors 

-Avery: “Someone has to”

_

Darker Side - Jonny Lang

-Avery: “Oh - good Lord.”

_

Firestone (Acoustic) – Conrad Sewell 

-“Will you show me?”

_

Velvet Gloves and Spit - Timber Timbre 

-“Anthony - ”

_

Wrong – Depeche Mode

-Avery: “I have to go.”

_

F**k it I love you – Lana Del Rey 

-“Not your fault, angel”

_

--Chapter 7--

Somebody to Love – Queen 

_

Heavenly – Cigarettes After Sex 

-“I fucking still.”

_

Will Do - TV on the Radio

-“You too. I’ll see you there.”

_

Monster – Colours

-No wonder Avery ran off like a thief after a heist

_

Swallow My Pride – Ramones 

-“I feel fucking ill about it.”

_

I Was Wrong - The Oh Hellos

-Avery: “I’m the one who has to apologize, not you.”

_

The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret – Queens of the Stone Age

-Avery: “Please don’t tell anyone”

_

Wait for Me – Kings of Leon

-Avery: “Right now, I’m just - a bit in pieces.”

_

Don’t Stay – X Ambassadors 

-“You can - stay or leave or - whatever you like.”

_

The Moth - Aimee Mann

-Avery’s eyes meet his, and then it’s like a car accident

_

Red Door – Julien Baker 

-“I can - I can wait longer.”

_

Can’t Pretend - Tom Odell

-“I wasn’t apologizing for that. This morning. I won’t.”

_

Come Down to Me – Saving Jane

-Avery: “You were wonderful”

_

Secret Smile – Semisonic

-And if sometimes he catches Az watching him between takes

_

I Want More - KALEO

-Az laces both of their hands together, stares at them.

_

I’m Gonna Do My Thing – Royal Deluxe 

-“So don’t tell me what will hurt me. I know what hurts.”

_

--Chapter 8--

Perfect Day – Lou Reed 

_

Remember to Breathe – Sturgil Simpson

-“You can’t sit in the car all night you absolute nightmare”

_

Wild Love (Acoustic) – James Bay

-The two of them stare at each other and then both look away awkwardly.

_

Seasons – Future Islands

-finally, fucking finally, he’s exactly where he wants to be

_

Closer – Tegan and Sara

-Avery: “if you like”

_

I Want All of You – The Verve Pipe 

-“If you think I can survive this without looking at you -”

_

Use Me – Miguel

-whatever he sees in Crowley’s face makes him come to some sort of decision

_

So Much Love – Depeche Mode

-Love, he said love

_

Don’t Be Scared, I Love You – Bill Ryder-Jones

-I know you, Crowley wants to say, but doesn’t.

_

Become My Dream – Silya & The Sailors 

-“Even if - anything, angel.”

_

I Belong In Your Arms – Chairlift

-For nearly two weeks it goes like this.

_

Faster - Matt Nathanson

-“You’re going to fucking kill me, angel -”

_

Come Together (feat. Sivu) – LAUREL

-In case you think they don’t wake up together

_

The High – Kelela

-Az has pulled a stool over to the edge of the tub

_

Just in Time – Valerie June

-Then Az’s hand is on his shoulder, turning him around.

_

I Can’t Take It – Tegan and Sara

-Avery: “Don’t rush, just - like this.”

_

Like This – Jake Scott

-Avery murmurs and it takes Crowley back to their first kiss

_

Terrible Love – The National

-Flinches away from him.

_

Help You Out - Emarosa

-And he nods.

_

--Chapter 9--

I Remember You – Ramones

-The first person Crowley loved was a liar.

_

Brighter Skies - Race Banyon

-As if they were cut with a jigsaw, as if they were meant to fit.

_

Not Tonight – Tegan and Sara

-When they reach the edge of the city, his hand slides out of Crowley’s.

_

As Sure as I Am – Crowded House

-So Crowley kisses him.

_

A Promise – Miriam Makeba

-And for awhile, he believed her.

_

Mistaken for Strangers – The National

-They’re only two small words, but they still make Crowley’s teeth ache.

_

Hey, That’s No Way To Say Goodbye – Leonard Cohen

-“Good-“ Swallow, speak, leave.

_

The Fear – Pulp

-Crowley should have been smarter this time. He really should have been.

_

Take Me – Leela James 

-“I’d like you to close your blinds.”

_

Whenever You Want It – Clare Maguire 

-“What do we do now?”

_

At My Weakest – James Arthur 

-“It will be.”

_

Komm zurück - Fotos

-For years and years and years, nothing did.

_

Come on Get Higher – Matt Nathanson

-their feet sliding in the tub

_

Lay Down – Sarah Proctor

-I want to wake up with you.

_

Sort Of - Ingrid Michaelson

-Why is my heart breaking?

_

Fairytale of New York – The Pogues 

-Just pump that shit straight into his veins.

_

What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve? – Ella Fitzgerald

-Avery: “What do you think?”

_

We’re Gonna Have A Real Good Time Together – The Velvet Underground

-“You want to grab dinner somewhere?” 

_

Hiding – IAN SWEET

-Crowley stops walking. Looks at Az in the darkness.

_

Romance Dawn – Radkey

-A slice of light cuts through the darkness.

_

Crown of Love – Arcade Fire

-Crowley feels like the world has never been darker, and his heart will never stop beating

_

Devil’s Backbone – The Civil Wars

-He thought he was ready for this conversation, but at the sight of Az’s face, his throat has gotten too tight to speak.

_

Sinners – Lauren Aquilina 

-“If this all goes down in flames, if it all falls apart - we can go off together.”

_

Please Forgive Me (Song of the Crow) – William Fitzsimmons 

-Avery: “It’s over. I’m - I’m so sorry.”

_

Start a War – The National

-He twitches and trips and yet somehow manages to walk away without falling over.

_

Broken – Daley

-And this soft heartache was somehow the sharpest of them all.

_

--Chapter 10 (Avery POV)--

Daily Battles - Thom Yorke & Flea

-He tries to remember these things - but the background is still a chorus of beeping machines. There’s nowhere he can be but here. 

_

Everybody Wants You - Red Hearse

-Go out and surround himself with people much more interesting and available than Avery. Better people, certainly.

_

A Thin Line – Blackchords

-But still - roads not taken, and other fun middle-aged spirals.

_

My Own Soul’s Warning - The Killers

-When was the last time someone asked Avery that? When was the last time he asked himself?

_

Who Am I - NEEDTOBREATHE

-I miss you.  There. It didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would. 

_

Wait for Me - Jack Curley 

-What he wants to say is ‘don’t find someone else. Not yet. You and your black leather and your cut-glass profile: you’re gorgeous and God knows other people want you.’ 

_

Coming & Going – Amaal 

-“Two ships passing in the night,” he says quietly.  Then he takes a swallow of wine, lets it roll down his throat. “If you were here -” 

_

Iron - Woodkid

-Crowley leaves him there, pressed against the wet brick wall.  Crowley leaves him there.  Crowley steps between Avery and a camera, and then leaves him.

_

The Greatest Bastard - Damien Rice

-He can’t be the person that kicks Crowley into the ashes again. He can’t hurt him like this, and Avery’s going to hurt him - he already has. 

_

No Right to Love You – Rhys Lewis

-He deserves someone like - like Daniel. Deserves to be loved in the daylight.

_

If It’s Hurting You - Robbie Williams

-Time is a tricky business when you’re dying slowly; it skips like a flat stone on a quiet lake.

_

Happy For You – Gayle 

-But surely - surely he’s allowed just this much. Just one message, just so Crowley knows that - that he’s happy for him. That Avery is so happy.

_

I See You (ICU) - Phoebe Bridgers

-When Avery sees Crowley on the red carpet, it feels like the sudden remembrance of a lovely dream.

_

Once In My Life - The Decemberists

-Crowley: “I know there’ve been some - hard times. That’s - that is what it is. But for me - it’s been a privilege. A dream. So.” He nods and nods and nods again. “Thank you.”

_

Coming Down - Dum Dum Girls

-Tracy: “But I wasn’t. I was hurting you. This whole time, Az.”  She shakes her head, wiping frantically at tears that won’t stop falling. “He loves you.”

_

I Don’t Know Anything – Little Voice Cast

-He’s afraid of finding out that all this time - he was doing the wrong thing anyway. He’s afraid that Anthony Crowley will never talk to him again.

_

Sweet Sour - Band of Skulls

-"And you're fired"

_

Heart Attack - Devarrow

-The sun is still rising when Avery gets out of the car, closes the door behind him. Though some of the roads have changed, his feet still know the way down to the docks of his youth. He was never a sailor, but the shoreline is familiar as a childhood sweetheart, as a long lost love. 

_

Landslide - Robyn Sherwell

-He’s alone, and he’s nearly fifty years old. He could get on a ship, he could throw himself into the sea. There’s no one holding him back anymore. 

_

All I Can - Sharon van Etten

-And he knows. He knows.

_

--Chapter 11-- 

Salvation - The Strumbellas

- there’s a moment where he swears he sees a young idiot in black standing in the crowd. Red hair gelled up into spikes, black t-shirt full of holes and safety pins. A young man who has no idea how much he’s about to lose.

_

Soldier - Fleurie

-And he’s still fucking here.

_

Easier – Mansionair

-Then he gets the fuck above ground and he calls Beez (oh great, they’re his emotional-support-asshole now. That’s healthy).

_

Deep End – Holly Humberstone  

-“I brought you cheese,” Beez says, and Crowley starts crying.

_

Falling Short – Lapsley

-For the next few days, he lets his stupid body do what it needs to do to keep himself upright.

_

Chariot (Stripped Version) - Gavin DeGraw

-Shit, this was a bad bad idea. 

_

Quiet Light - The National

-There’s a text from Az later that night, and his name on Crowley’s phone makes him feel like jumping off a cliff.

_

All That We Had is Lost - Postiljonen

-He’s not allowed to be in love with that man anymore. Wasn’t ever, really.

_

Heal - Tom Odell

-It makes a rather hysterical laugh well out of his throat. Anthony fucking Crowley. You are still alive. 

_

Let Me Go - HAIM 

-Crowley tries to ignore the soft, injured expression on the other man’s face as he turns away.

_

A Beginning Song - The Decemberists

-“What’s more frightening than having a choice?”

_

The Spark - William Prince

-And he likes to think he would have just burned the world to ashes with the power of his love, would have said fuck everyone, I choose you – but who knows. 

_

Sharp Scratch - The Slow Show

-So stupid, I know, and I’m - sorry, I still love you and I’m tryin’ to stop and I will I just - needed to tell you that. I’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. Just miss you.

_

Beautiful & Brutal – Plested

-Crowley moves without thinking. Falls like a stagelight, glass everywhere. He walks forward and is kissing Az before the door has even been pulled shut.

_

Bad Chemistry - Fake Shark

-“I’ve been - thinking about this -” Az says between darts of his tongue against Crowley’s overheated skin.

_

All We Do – Oh Wonder

-“But I - I love you. And I can’t -  hide. It hurts too much.”

_

Broken Strings - James Morrison (ft Nelly Furtado)

-“I wouldn’t survive it. That way it was. I wouldn’t.”

_

Stole the Show – Parson James

-But even on their distant shores, Crowley and Az don’t stop looking at each other. It feels like an ending. Maybe it is one. Not a happy ending, but not a bad one either.

_

Level Up - Vienna Teng

-excerpt from Anthony Crowley: Out of the shadows, under the spotlight

_

The Wire (Alternate Version) – Patrick Droney 

-Avery: “I’m rather in - in love with you.”

_

Sweet Thing - Van Morrison

-“You can stay at my place. If you like.”

_

Falling in Love - Cigarettes After Sex

-“I love you. I’ve missed you, and I love you, and I want you -”

_

Stay - Cat Power

-He watches the slow flicker of awareness in Avery’s blue eyes. The curve of his mouth into a shade of smile that Crowley’s never seen before.

_

Freedom - George Michael

-“To the world.”

_

--Chapter 12--

Banks - NEEDTOBREATHE

-What he wasn’t used to was bringing someone else down with him, and jail would be a bloody blessing compared to seeing Az grey-faced and staring out windows, or that one time Crowley’s pretty sure the man was crying in the bathroom, trying to swallow down the sound so that Crowley didn’t notice (he clenches his hands into fists just thinking about it).

_

Black Mambo - Glass Animals

-“It’ll have to be.” Crowley drops to his knees. “There’s a lot of ground to cover.” 

_

Florets - Grace VanderWaal

-Crowley can let his fingers curl against Az’s palm, can watch him open as a flame, not caring who notices.

_

Sight of the Sun - fun.

-That this longing won’t destroy him, and won’t destroy Az either. It’s not a shovel for burying Crowley alive - it’s a spade for planting things.

_

Pale Blue Eyes - The Velvet Underground

-Az drops his hand onto Crowley’s knee (“What is this song? I rather like it.”).

_

Only Everything (Acoustic) – Quinn Lewis

-“It’s nice to have someone make it for you, right? Sometimes,” Crowley says softly, too much love in his throat and in his hands. It’s hard to breathe around it, especially when Avery is looking at him.

_

The Book of Love - The Magnetic Fields

-“You bought a cottage for us.” Crowley is an animal being taught to speak through scraps of meat and electric shocks. “This cottage.”

_

Say You’ll Be Mine – Christopher Cross

-Avery: “But if you wanted -” Fuck, there are tears in Avery’s eyes. “If you want. I’d like to call you my husband. I’d like to say ‘let me ask my husband,’ or ‘I brought my husband with me’ or ‘my husband won a BAFTA’.”

_

Anthem - Leonard Cohen

-Their broken edges match. And somehow, the light still shines through.

_

Precious Love – James Morrison

-When the light catches them both, they shine. And so do you. So do we.

_

Good Man (acoustic) - Josh Ritter

_

_

If you made it this far...wow, hi hello. So, this is ours and my musical exposure is limited, if you’ve got a better song for an excerpt, feel free to shoot it over, more than happy for this to be a living changeable thing. 🤡 

[hlupdate]

Variety’s Grammy-nominated Hitmaker of the Year goes deep on the music industry, the great pause and finding his own muses.

“We’ll dance again,” Harry Styles coos, the Los Angeles sunshine peeking through his pandemic-shaggy hair just so. The singer, songwriter and actor — beloved and critically acclaimed thanks to his life-affirming year-old album, “Fine Line” — is lamenting that his Variety Hitmaker of the Year cover conversation has to be conducted over Zoom rather than in person. Even via videoconference, the Brit is effortlessly charming, as anyone who’s come within earshot of him would attest, but it quickly becomes clear that beneath that genial smile is a well-honed media strategy.

To wit: In an interview that appears a few days later announcing his investment in a new arena in his native Manchester (more on that in a bit), he repeats the refrain — “There will be a time we dance again”— referencing a much-needed return to live music and the promise of some 4,000 jobs for residents.

None of which is to suggest that Styles, 26, phones it in for interviews. Quite the opposite: He does very few, conceivably to give more of himself and not cheapen what is out there and also to use the publicity opportunity to indulge his other interests, like fashion. (Last month Styles became the first male to grace the cover of Vogue solo.) Still, it stings a little that a waltz with the former One Direction member may not come to pass on this album cycle — curse you, coronavirus.

Styles’ isolation has coincided with his maturation as an artist, a thespian and a person. With “Fine Line,” he’s proved himself a skilled lyricist with a tremendous ear for harmony and melody. In preparing for his role in Olivia Wilde’s period thriller “Don’t Worry Darling,” which is shooting outside Palm Springs, he found an outlet for expression in interpreting words on a page. And for the first time, he’s using his megaphone to speak out about social justice — inspired by the outpouring of support for Black people around the world following the death of George Floyd at the hands of Minneapolis police in May.

Styles has spent much of the past nine months at home in London, where life has slowed considerably. The time has allowed him to ponder such heady issues as his purpose on the earth. “It’s been a pause that I don’t know if I would have otherwise taken,” says Styles. “I think it’s been pretty good for me to have a kind of stop, to look and think about what it actually means to be an artist, what it means to do what we do and why we do it. I lean into moments like this — moments of uncertainty.”

In truth, while Styles has largely been keeping a low profile — his Love On Tour, due to kick off on April 15, was postponed in late March and is now scheduled to launch in February 2021 (whether it actually will remains to be seen) — his music has not. This is especially true in the U.S., where he’s notched two hit singles, “Adore You,” the second-most-played song at radio in 2020, and “Watermelon Sugar” (No. 22 on Variety’s year-end Hitmakers chart), with a third, “Golden,” already cresting the top 20 on the pop format. The massive cross-platform success of these songs means Styles has finally and decisively broken into the American market, maneuvering its web of gatekeepers to accumulate 6.2 million consumption units and rising.

Why do these particular songs resonate in 2020? Styles doesn’t have the faintest idea. While he acknowledges a “nursery rhyme” feel to “Watermelon Sugar” with its earwormy loop of a chorus, that’s about as much insight as he can offer. His longtime collaborator and friend Tom Hull, also known as the producer Kid Harpoon, offers this take: “There’s a lot of amazing things about that song, but what really stands out is the lyric. It’s not trying to hide or be clever. The simplicity of watermelon … there’s such a joy in it, [which] is a massive part of that song’s success.” Also, his kids love it. “I’ve never had a song connect with children in this way,” says Hull, whose credits include tunes by Shawn Mendes, Florence and the Machine and Calvin Harris. “I get sent videos all the time from friends of their kids singing. I have a 3-year-old and an 8-year-old, and they listen to it.”

Styles is quick to note that he doesn’t chase pop appeal when crafting songs. In fact, the times when he pondered or approved a purposeful tweak, like on his self-titled 2017 debut, still gnaw at him. “I love that album so much because it represents such a time in my life, but when I listen to it — sonically and lyrically, especially — I can hear places where I was playing it safe,” he says. “I was scared to get it wrong.”

Contemporary effects and on-trend beats hardly factor into Styles’ decision-making. He likes to focus on feelings — his own and his followers’ — and see himself on the other side of the velvet rope, an important distinction in his view. “People within [the industry] feel like they operate on a higher level of listening, and I like to make music from the point of being a fan of music,” Styles says. “Fans are the best A&R.”

This from someone who’s had free rein to pursue every musical whim, and hand in the album of his dreams in the form of “Fine Line.” Chart success makes it all the sweeter, but Styles insists that writing “for the right reasons” supersedes any commercial considerations. “There’s no part that feels, eh, icky — like it was made in the lab,” he says.

Styles has experience in this realm. As a graduate of the U.K. competition series “The X Factor,” where he and four other auditionees — Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson — were singled out by show creator and star judge Simon Cowell to conjoin as One Direction, he’s seen how the prefab pop machine works up close. The One Direction oeuvre, which counts some 42 million albums sold worldwide, includes songs written with such established hitmakers as Ryan Tedder, Savan Kotecha and Teddy Geiger. Being a studious, insatiable observer, Styles took it all in.

“I learned so much,” he says of the experience. “When we were in the band, I used to try and write with as many different people as I could. I wanted to practice — and I wrote a lot of bad shit.”

His bandmates also benefited from the pop star boot camp. The proof is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members — Payne, Malik and Horan in addition to Styles — each of whom has landed hit singles on charts in the U.K., the U.S. and beyond.

This departs from the typical trajectories of boy bands including New Kids on the Block and ’N Sync, which have all pro ered a star frontman. The thinking for decades was that a record company would be lucky to have one breakout solo career among the bunch.

Styles has plainly thought about this.

“When you look at the history of people coming out of bands and starting solo careers, they feel this need to apologize for being in the band. ‘Don’t worry, everyone, that wasn’t me! Now I get to do what I really want to do.’ But we loved being in the band,” he says. “I think there’s a wont to pit people against each other. And I think it’s never been about that for us. It’s about a next step in evolution. The fact that we’ve all achieved different things outside of the band says a lot about how hard we worked in it.”

Indeed, during the five-ish years that One Direction existed, Styles’ schedule involved the sort of nonstop international jet-setting that few get to see in a lifetime, never mind their teenage years. Between 2011 and 2015, One Direction’s tours pulled in north of $631 million in gross ticket sales, according to concert trade Pollstar, and the band was selling out stadiums worldwide by the time it entered its extended hiatus. Styles, too, had built up to playing arenas as a solo artist, engaging audiences with his colorful stage wear and banter and left-of-center choices for opening acts (a pre-Grammy-haul Kacey Musgraves in 2018; indie darlings King Princess and Jenny Lewis for his rescheduled 2021 run).

Stages of all sizes feel like home to Styles. He grew up in a suburb of Manchester, ground zero for some of the biggest British acts of the 1980s and ’90s, including Joy Division, New Order, the Smiths and Oasis, the latter of which broke the same year Styles was born. His parents were also music lovers. Styles’ father fed him a balanced diet of the Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, the Rolling Stones and Queen, while Mum was a fan of Shania Twain, Norah Jones and Savage Garden. “They’re all great melody writers,” says Styles of the acts’ musical throughline.

Stevie Nicks, who in the past has described “Fine Line” as Styles’ “Rumours,” referencing the Fleetwood Mac 1977 classic, sees him as a kindred spirit. “Harry writes and sings his songs about real experiences that seemingly happened yesterday,” she tells Variety. “He taps into real life. He doesn’t make up stories. He tells the truth, and that is what I do. ‘Fine Line’ has been my favorite record since it came out. It is his ‘Rumours.’ I told him that in a note on December 13, 2019 before he went on stage to play the ‘Fine Line’ album at the Forum. We cried. He sang those songs like he had sung them a thousand times. That’s a great songwriter and a great performer.”

“Harry’s playing and writing is instinctual,” adds Jonathan Wilson, a friend and peer who’s advised Styles on backing and session musicians. “He understands history and where to take the torch. You can see the thread of great British performers — from Bolan to Bowie — in his music.”

Also shaping his musical DNA was Manchester itself, the site of a 23,500-seat arena, dubbed Co-op Live, for which Styles is an investor and adviser. Oak View Group, a company specializing in live entertainment and global sports that was founded by Tim Leiweke and Irving Azoff in 2015 (Jeffrey Azoff, Irving’s son, represents Styles at Full Stop Management), is leading the effort to construct the venue. The project gained planning approval in September and is set to open in 2023, with its arrival representing a £350 million ($455 million) investment in the city. (Worth noting: Manchester is already home to an arena — the site of a 2017 bombing outside an Ariana Grande concert — and a football stadium, where One Love Manchester, an all-star benefit show to raise money for victims of the terrorist attack, took place.)

“I went to my first shows in Manchester,” Styles says of concerts paid for with money earned delivering newspapers for a supermarket called the Co-op. “My friends and I would go in on weekends. There’s so many amazing small venues, and music is such a massive part of the city. I think Manchester deserves it. It feels like a full-circle, coming-home thing to be doing this and to be able to give any kind of input. I’m incredibly proud. Hopefully they’ll let me play there at some point.”

Though Styles has owned properties in Los Angeles, his base for the foreseeable future is London. “I feel like my relationship with L.A. has changed a lot,” he explains. “I’ve kind of accepted that I don’t have to live here anymore; for a while I felt like I was supposed to. Like it meant things were going well. This happened, then you move to L.A.! But I don’t really want to.”

Is it any wonder? Between COVID and the turmoil in the U.S. spurred by the presidential election, Styles, like some 79 million American voters, is recovering from sticker shock over the bill of goods sold to them by the concept of democracy. “In general, as people, there’s a lack of empathy,” he observes. “We found this place that’s so divisive. We just don’t listen to each other anymore. And that’s quite scary.”

That belief prompted Styles to speak out publicly in the wake of George Floyd’s death. As protests in support of Black Lives Matter took to streets all over the world, for Styles, it triggered a period of introspection, as marked by an Instagram message (liked by 2.7 million users and counting) in which he declared: “I do things every day without fear, because I am privileged, and I am privileged every day because I am white. … Being not racist is not enough, we must be anti racist. Social change is enacted when a society mobilizes. I stand in solidarity with all of those protesting. I’m donating to help post bail for arrested organizers. Look inwards, educate yourself and others. LISTEN, READ, SHARE, DONATE and VOTE. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. BLACK LIVES MATTER.”

“Talking about race can be really uncomfortable for everyone,” Styles elaborates. “I had a realization that my own comfort in the conversation has nothing to do with the problem — like that’s not enough of a reason to not have a conversation. Looking back, I don’t think I’ve been outspoken enough in the past. Using that feeling has pushed me forward to being open and ready to learn. … How can I ensure from my side that in 20 years, the right things are still being done and the right people are getting the right opportunities? That it’s not a passing thing?”

His own record company — and corporate parent Sony Music Group, whose chairman, Rob Stringer, signed Styles in 2016 — has been grappling with these same questions as the industry has faced its own reckoning with race. At issue: inequality among the upper ranks (an oft-cited statistic: popular music is 80% Black, but the music business is 80% white); contracts rooted in a decades-old system that many say is set up to take advantage of artists, Black artists more unfairly than white; and the call for a return of master rights, an ownership model that is at the core of the business.

Styles acknowledges the fundamental imbalance in how a major label deal is structured — the record company takes on the financial risk while the artist is made to recoup money spent on the project before the act is considered profitable and earning royalties (typically at a 15% to 18% rate for the artist, while the label keeps and disburses the rest). “Historically, I can’t think of any industry that’s benefited more off of Black culture than music,” he says. “There are discussions that need to happen about this long history of not being paid fairly. It’s a time for listening, and hopefully, people will come out humbled, educated and willing to learn and change.”

By all accounts, Styles is a voracious reader, a movie lover and an aesthete. He stays in shape by adhering to a strict daily exercise routine. “I tried to keep up but didn’t last more than two weeks,” says Hull, Styles’ producer, with a laugh. “The discipline is terrifying.”

Of course, with the fashion world beckoning — Styles recently appeared in a film series for Gucci’s new collection that was co-directed by the fashion house’s creative director, Alessandro Michele, and Oscar winner Gus Van Sant — and a movie that’s set in the 1950s, maintaining that physique is part of the job. And he’s no stranger to visual continuity after appearing in Christopher Nolan’s epic “Dunkirk” and having to return to set for reshoots; his hair, which needed to be cut back to its circa 1940 form, is a constant topic of conversation among fans. This time, it’s the ink that poses a challenge. By Styles’ tally, he’s up to 60 tattoos, which require an hour in the makeup chair to cover up. “It’s the only time I really regret getting tattooed,” he says.

He shows no regret, however, when it comes to stylistic choices overall, and takes pride in his gender-agnostic portfolio, which includes wearing a Gucci dress on that Vogue cover— an image that incited conservative pundit Candace Owens to plead publicly to “bring back manly men.” In Styles’ view: “To not wear [something] because it’s females’ clothing, you shut out a whole world of great clothes. And I think what’s exciting about right now is you can wear what you like. It doesn’t have to be X or Y. Those lines are becoming more and more blurred.”

But acclaim, if you can believe it, is not top of mind for Styles. As far as the Grammys are concerned, Styles shrugs, “It’s never why I do anything.” His team and longtime label, however, had their hearts set on a showing at the Jan. 31 ceremony. Their investment in Styles has been substantial — not just monetarily but in carefully crafting his career in the wake of such icons as David Bowie, who released his final albums with the label. Hope at the company and in many fans’ hearts that Styles would receive an album of the year nomination did not come to pass. However, he was recognized in three categories, including best pop vocal album.

“It’s always nice to know that people like what you’re doing, but ultimately — and especially working in a subjective field — I don’t put too much weight on that stuff,” Styles says. “I think it’s important when making any kind of art to remove the ego from it.” Citing the painter Matisse, he adds: “It’s about the work that you do when you’re not expecting any applause.”

[gyllenhaalstories]

KINKMAS DAY 2 & 11: BLOW JOB AND PRAISE KINK WITH (frat!)TOM HOLLAND.

request:  Shoot. I didn't see your Kinkmas prompt in time for BJ day. But maybe  you could do this for No. 11? Frat Boy Tom seduces nerdy y/n at a  Christmas party and he says she "gets" to suck him off, but first, she  has to praise him, touching all his muscles and kissing his cock through  his boxer briefs. He continues to demand praise as she sucks him off :)  

warnings: alcohol/drinking, praising kink, hand job, blow job, curse words (mentions of christmas, but nothing religious!)

word count: 1075

gif credits: lady-birds

thank you so much for this request! i’ve never written frat!anybody before (and i accidentally fell into a 2010 kesha rabbit hole for inspiration whoopsie), so i hope this is doing the concept justice! <3

You leaned against the door frame of the kitchen, holding a red solo cup filled with orange juice and stared at the scene. The party started half an hour ago, maybe even less, but everyone was already drunk beyond belief. The cool kids from the business management faculty offered rounds and rounds of shots in between boring games of beer pong. The sports scholarship dudes were screaming and chanting. Other groups of friends just chilled on a couch or invented new cocktails on the kitchen island behind you. And your friend who dragged you there? Nowhere to be found.

You had never attended a party of this size before, so you had expectations. You heard people talk about it in the hallways, ‘the biggest event of the semester’, ‘best time to let go of the stress before the finals’, ‘all the hotties from the fraternity are gonna be there’, ‘might have a karaoke machine for Christmas songs’. The last rumour convinced you to give in your friend’s begging.

There you were: no karaoke machine in sight, only poorly arranged Christmas decorations made the evening festive. That and the scent of cinnamon pine cones. You were determined to find where it came from, it would change from the smell of cheap beer. So you left your corner and decided to explore the fraternity, promising yourself to not open any doors. You did not want to discover what happened behind them. Eventually, you climbed up the squeaky stairs and found a pretty bowl on which the pine cones were set. You found a nutcracker and some other small decorations. Someone in this fraternity cared.

“Had my eyes on you all semester.”

You jumped at the sound of the mysterious voice, dropping a glass decoration on the floor. You looked up to lock eyes with this familiar face. The wrinkles at the corner of his eyes, the cocky grin on his lips, the messy eyebrow. Stranger from the second row in your introduction to adult psychology class. It was open for all, but he was the only student that did not come from your cohort. So, obviously he caught all the attention. He was handstome too, that probably helped his case.

“I’m Tom,” he introduced himself, hands on his hips. “What’s your name, pretty girl?”

So stranger from second row had a name. And stranger from second row just confessed, or lied, about having an interest in you. You promised yourself another thing: to never attend fraternity parties ever again, weird shit happened there. You introduced yourself, darting your eyes everywhere, looking for a way to escape.

“You don’t come here often.”

“That’s very perceptive of you.” You mocked.

His jaw clenched at your words. “You wanna play it all tough and rough, huh?” He asked. It was not a question, though, it was a dare.

“I know you’ve been crushing on me all this time. Caught you staring whenever I walked into the class room.”

You wanted to comment you only stared at him because he wore golf polos all day long. Apparently, he was the most promising golfer the college ever had. You did not even know it was a title.

“I caught ya pretty mouth drooling once,” the flashbacks of that time he bent down to grab your pen that rolled away, his muscular back and ass in full action before your eyes. “You can pretend to be innocent, but I know what you really want.”

You swallowed thickly. “What is it that I want, Tom?”

He chuckled. “You gonna have to earn it for me to tell you.”

In other circumstances, you would have not given in that easily. But what was wrong? He was good looking, the interest was mutual, and he smelled of watermelon gum rather than beer and other crazy beverages. On top of that, you were bored. “I’m sorry I kept staring at you,” you started, your voice small and hesitant. “You’re just very sexy.”

He squinted, his arms clenched. “Keep going.”

“You always make the other guys in class shut up. Your commentaries are smart, that’s good, but they know they’ll never look as good as you.” He nodded, encouraging you. You could judge how narcissistic this interaction was, but you looked down at his crotch and noticed the tent rising in his pants. You were good at more things than getting straight a’s on your essays, apparently.

As your hands finally touched him, he got goosebumps. He opened the door behind you, which happened to be his room, and pushed you in. He took his shirt off, letting your hands explore his toned body. For a golfer, he certainly trained like a fitness model on Instagram.

Your finger tips tickled his abs as you moved lower.

“Been dreamin’ of touching me, yeah? Had wet dreams about me fucking you?”

You nodded with excitement, eyes wide and thighs clenching together. “Please, Tom, I need your cock so bad.”

“Prove it.”

You dropped to your knees and palmed at his buldge. He let you take his pants down, but not his boxers yet. “You’re so big Tom, bigger than I’ve dreamed of.” He moaned at your words, so you kept going. You told him about how much you’ve wanted to touch him that one time his seat was taken so he sat next to you. Your thigh brushed against his, your skin was on fire. You told him that you wished he had taken you right there and then. You told him you had come to the party hoping to finally talk to him.

All the attention and praise must have worked, because he let you slide down his underwears. His cock spring free, finally released from the fabric. The kisses you trailed on his shaft felt amazing, much more than the ones you pressed against his boxers.

“Please, Tom, please let me suck your cock.” Your tongue followed the lines of his veins before lapping at his swollen and wet tip. The fact that it all started because of some pine cones amused you.

He wanted to keep you hanging, to ear more sweet words coming out of that beautiful mouth of yours. He could not resist any longer and held himself at the base. “Good girls always get what they deserve.”

At that very moment when he hit the back of your throat, you suddenly promised yourself to never not attend those fraternity parties again.