#took an uber with 3 random people i’ve never met before

[arturleclerc-archive]

i’ve met so many lovely people at this gp and i’m so emo about it 🥹❤️

now we’re all lifelong friends! it was lovely to meet all of you 😊

[asp1990]

Day 7: Wednesday June 29th, 2022 [LONDON]

Breakfast: Pain au chocolat, latte and orange juice Lunch: chicken baguette and a rose Dinner: Japanese share plates at Apothecary

Steps: 7, 279

Today was our last day in Paris, but our Eurostar train departed at 1.15pm, so it was pretty much just time to pack up, clean, have brekky and walk to the station. I had done most of my packing the night before, so read my book while the others packed and then did a quick vacuum while Tim cleaned the bathroom and Amara took out the bins.

We had brunch at the brasserie on the corner of our street and the waitress hated us from the get-go for speaking in English. Tim asked if she spoke English immediately and she said yes, but was then short with us every time she brought something to the table. We had coffee, croissants and OJ. While I’ve loved living my best pastry life in Paris, I’m looking forward to more traditional breakfasts in London.

I wanted to get an Uber to the train station, but Amara wanted to walk, so we walked. Dragging two suitcases over uneven ground and cobblestones for 20 minutes was a fresh hell and we were all grouchy, hot, and sweaty by the time we arrived. We went through customs and border security and, like every other time I’ve travelled, my passport didn’t work in the machines, so I had to go to the desks while Tim and Amara sailed through. Once in, we bought some sandwiches and wine for the train and then sat down to wait for half an hour.

We boarded the train at 12.50pm and it was absolute chaos. The escalators down to the platform were broken, so some people were taking the stairs while carrying suitcases and others were taking a punt on the stopped escalator. We chose the escalator as my luggage was too heavy to carry safely. We got onto the train and people were in our seats. Once they moved, we sat down, and all popped our headphones in for the duration of the trip. I read a good chunk of my book club book, Amara watched Downtown Abbey and Tim slept.

The train took just under 3 hours, and we were finally in London! There was absolutely zero border control at the other end, and we sailed through to the taxi rank. The queue was long, so I booked an Uber instead. Yosef picked us up 10 minutes later, despite us being on the wrong side of the terminal and drove us 35 minutes to our accommodation.

Amara messaged the venue to say we’d arrived, and a man came out to meet us. He scanned Amara’s passport and then asked us to leave a 500£ cash deposit in case we damaged anything… we all said that wasn’t going to happen as it wasn’t in our booking confirmation. Amara had 200£ in her wallet so said that was all we had, so he said that was fine and then she was upset that we’d left all her spending money with the shady man.

We came upstairs to a beautiful two-bedroom apartment with a large kitchen/living area and a functioning washing machine. The cleaner was still there, so we sat awkwardly for 15 minutes until he left. We then napped for an hour before showering and heading out to Shoreditch to have dinner with one of Amara’s friends. Our booking was at 6.45pm and I tried to book an Uber at 6.30pm, but no one accepted my request, so we took the bus instead. This was way easier. Busses will be how we get around London from now on. Amara was a bit cranky on the way there because maps mucked her around and she snapped at me, but I snapped back and that was that.

We had dinner at a Japanese place called Apothecary which was a beautiful building with a modern Japanese menu. We met Amara’s friend Emily who had been living in London for 3 years with her partner. We ordered a bottle of wine and a few share plates and mostly listened to Emily and Amara catch up. Our food came out at random intervals, but some parts were missing. We chased this up with our waitress 3 times, but they never came. The maître de then came to check on us and apologised for the delay, but 2 dishes still never arrived. The food we did receive was delicious – kimchi fried rice, chicken skewers, fried chicken bao, karaage, sushi and edamame. After waiting 30 mins for our last 2 dishes, we asked for the bill and received a discount for the inconvenience. Emily also had a discount voucher, which made it even cheaper – woohoo! We walked a block down to a pub for one more drink where we talked about good shows to see on the West End before heading home.

We caught the bus home, made a quick stop at the supermarket and then Tim and I watched TV while I wrote my diary and Amara went to bed.

We’re going to see our first show tomorrow on the West End – can’t wait! 

[wavyhairedbabyy]

Idiots - Part 1

Karl Jacobs x gn!reader

tldr: They’ve both got a crush. Sucks, since they’re the only ones oblivious to it. (Slow Burn!)

CW: some swearing(not at each other), fluffy as a teddy bear.

a/n: I got a random influx of followers ;-; Tysm for enjoying my works and sharing them. I haven’t written in 6 years, in case it wasn’t obvious lmao, so even one is super meaningful to me :) this ended up being way longer than I intended it to be so I’m splitting it into 2 parts. 

edited yet: yes - let me know if I missed anything!

Part 1 - Part 2

Y/n and Karl met when Karl was still going to college in New York before dropping things to move to North Carolina. They met the fall of their sophomore year at the campus café when Karl was trying to shoot a piece of paper into a trash can. The problem was he couldn’t aim and it landed right in y/n’s mug of coffee, quickly dissolving into a paper coffee soup. For anyone else it would’ve been okay but being that coffee was y/n’s life line, especially during finals, it most definitely was not.

“You’re buying me another, right?” they asked, “I would highly recommend it or you might see a side of me you don’t want to see.”

Being the good guy he was, and the slight fear of their bad side, he did with no questions.

“So, since there’s a side of you I don’t want to see, and I bought you a new coffee, do I get to see the side of you that I do want to see?”

“Find me next semester and you might.”

And he did.

***

“Karl, if you don’t give me that sword, I’m going to hurt you!” Y/n screamed as they lunged toward him. It was y/n, Karl, and Chris hanging out at Karl’s place until it was time to leave for a Mr. Beast project. They sat in his living room, Karl with a foam sword that y/n was desperate to take from him.

“That’s the problem! If I give it to you, you will hurt me with it!” He yelled back, jumping out of their reach.

“Okay children, why don’t I just take the sword so we can end all of this?” Chris intervened in an attempt to stop the ruckus.

Both of them paused, looking at him in disbelief. They shook their head and in unison scoffed, “No!”

The two continued their play fighting, one holding on to the sword for a short period of time before the other pulled it from their grasp. This went on until it was time to leave the house.

While this was all going down, Chris watched Karl’s behavior. He noticed how he let y/n hold on to the sword a little longer, even when he could’ve easily reached out to grab it from their hands. He noticed how he was much more careful with his movements, almost scared to be too rough with them.

With anyone else, Chris knew Karl’s pride would have taken over in this situation. He thought back to any other time he had any of his SMP friends over. With Nick or Alex, he would have hogged the sword and brutally whacked either of them with it as much as he could. He would happily tacked them and pinned them to the ground. With y/n though... there was a gentleness with them, and Chris did not fail on picking that up.

“Okay lame-os, let’s get on over to the warehouse. Y/n, you coming?” Chris asked.

Y/n shook their head, “Nah. I’m gonna unpack my stuff and relax from the flight. Plus, word on the street says that tomorrow is when the cool stuff is happening so I’ll come then.” they replied.

“Well the street is right, but they’re still a dummy,” Chris looked at Karl for reference.

“Hey...” Karl faked a sad look before staring at y/n for defense.

Y/n giggle and just shrugged, waving goodbye to the both of them, “If you don’t bring me back Burger King fries, don’t bother coming back at all!”

***

Chris and Karl sat in the car, Chris driving and Karl in the passenger seat. With some music on in the background, the two were discussing the plan of action for what was going to be filmed for the day.

“Do you know how long it’s going to take?” Karl asked, “I feel bad leaving y/n by themselves so I want to try to get out as early as humanly possible.”

“I’m not really sure. I’m sure Jimmy wouldn’t mind you scootin’ out a little early,” Chris replied. He took the opportunity and leaned over to his friend, “Speakin’ of y/n, anything going on there? Y’know, anything special?”

“Uhh- whaddya mean special?” Karl haphazardly, “We’re best friends. I think that’s pretty special.”

“No, idiot. I mean is there anything there besides just being best friends,” Chris paused for a second, “I dunno. I just noticed you’re different with them, man. You know you would never treat Nick or Alex the way you treated them.”

Karl paused, trying to think of a response but failing. He sighed, “Yeah, there’s definitely something there on my end. I mean, I’ve been attracted to them since we first met. I just don’t think they reciprocate it.”

“You never know if you don’t try. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“I’d rather not think about it,” Karl sunk into his seat, thinking of all the bad endings that could happen if he told y/n his feelings.

***

Meanwhile this was happening, y/n was making themselves comfortable in Karl’s guest room. They planned on staying for a week and a half which meant packing a month’s worth of clothes. Before starting to unpack their things into the dresser, they FaceTimed their other best friend that was back in New York to keep them company.

“You’re calling me now? Your flight landed 4 hours ago! I was sure you crashed in the middle of the ocean - gone like that Malaysia flight,” y/bff answered.

“Hi to you too,” y/n responded as they started to place their clothes in the closet, “ You are so dramatic. My flight didn’t even go over the ocean. And don’t act like you weren’t tracking my flight. You knew damn well I was fine.”

“All this worrying and caring, and this is how I’m being treated?” Y/bff shook their head as the wiped their fake tears away “The disrespect.”

“Pft, the only disrespect I’m seeing here is the lack of questions about my day,” y/n said, “I had a great flight. I got those yummy blue chips and had a nice drive from the airport in a Tesla.”

Y/bff gasped, “What kind of Uber driver is driving around a Tesla? We need more of those people up here.”

“Dude, it was Karl,” y/n replied, “I was shocked. Last time I saw this kid he was driving a hunk of junk. One year down here and he’s driving around like he’s Elon Musk.”

“Well, I’ll tell you this now. If you don’t cuff him, I will!” Their laugh echoed through the phone

Y/n rolled their eyes, “Oh please, if he doesn’t like me like that then you’re in no good luck.”

“So you told him then?”

“No, not yet,” y/n paused, “I dunno. We’ve been friends for 3, almost 4, years now. If he liked me, he would’ve said something by now. Plus we live so far away from each other now. I just don’t wanna ruin a good thing, y’know?”

“Well, I still say do it. You can tell him and spend your life in peace knowing his answer, or keep it to you yourself and spend the rest of your life wondering ‘what if?’ And I’ll tell you now, the latter always ends with regret. With the first answer, you’ll at least have a chance of a happy ending.”

Y/n shrugged, putting away the last piece of clothing from their luggage, “I know, I know. I’ll think about it. Thanks for the chat, but I’m gonna go relax now before he gets back. I love and miss you already.”

They exchanged their goodbyes and hung up. Y/n flattened their luggage and slid it under the bed. Moving back to the dresser, they found some comfortable clothes to change into after a shower.

Y/n knew y/bff was right. They just couldn’t bring themselves to share their feelings. What if Karl didn’t feel the same way? Would it ruin their friendship? Would this be the last time they ever saw each other? No, y/n knew it wouldn’t end their friendship, but it would make it awkward for a little while. They moved to the bathroom. Maybe a shower would help them compose their thoughts.

***

“I’m back!” Karl shouted as he kicked the door shut behind him. The project took a few hours so the sun had set and nighttime was settling itself in North Carolina. There was no response. Karl continued, “And I have Burger King fries!”

“You should’ve started out with that! Coming!” Y/n yelled from down the hall. Karl rolled his eyes and walked over to the living room table. He started making room for the food when he heard fast footsteps coming toward him.

“Incoming!” Y/n yelled, tackling him to the floor with a hug. They were giggling as if they just pulled the best prank in the world.

“Hi to you too,” he groaned from his body hitting the floor. Y/n continued to chuckle as they got up, grabbing Karl’s hand to help him up too. They sat on the couch, looking at the food in front of them.

“A whole whopper meal? What did I do to get the honors, Mr. Jacobs?” Y/n remarked in a posh accent, popping a fry into their mouth.

“You existed,” Karl giggled out. Y/n smiled, but the butterflies in their stomach couldn’t feign their excitement. It was small shit like that that made y/n fall for Karl. He continued, “Plus I didn’t know if you ate or not so I thought better safer than sorry.”

“Aw, you’re the sweetest,” they gave him a tight hug before returning to the spot they were in on the couch, “So, what’s the plan, Stan?”

“I’m kind of tired from filming, I hope you don’t mind-”

“Actually, I completely mind” y/n replied sarcastically. Karl shook his head at them.

“So, I was thinking we could just watch a movie or watch a show,”

“Ah yes, head empty activities. I’m down. Can we watch a movie though? Not in the mood for a show right now,” y/n replied.

“Sure let’s scroll through and find something,” Karl switched on the TV and the two munched on their food while they decided what they were going to watch. After 20 minutes of scrolling, which really was 20 minutes of fighting over who had better taste in movies, they finally agreed on Wall-E.

Before the movie started, y/n looked over to Karl. Their hands were in the shape of finger guns, pointed to each other and the tips of their index fingers touching. They had a pout on their face when they asked, “Can we cuddle while we watch?”

“No,” Karl shook his head quickly, keeping a stoic, straight face. Y/n’s pout got bigger. He continued, “I absolutely hate physical touch.”

They both immediately broke out into giggles, y/n grabbing the nearest pillow and smacking him with it, “You are so lame.”

Karl continued with his fit of giggle, “The day I say that and mean it is the day hell freezes over.”

As the intro to the movie played, the two came closer, y/n’s legs tangling up with Karl’s. When they finished up their food, they moved closer with Karl’s arm around y/n’s shoulders and their head laying on his chest.

Y/n gave a playful scoff, reminiscing on their past memories together, “This reminds me of the time we had a Disney movie marathon before spring break.”

Karl laughed, “Yeah, and you made my old roommate cry beforehand because he wasn’t doing his dishes all semester.”

“In my defense, I gave him warnings. He didn’t wanna listen and there’s no way I was letting you live in a house with a sink full of fruit flies.”

“I’m not sure if you did that for me or because you practically lived with us.”

“Don’t get it mixed up, pretty boy. That was for you.” Karl smiled at those words, looking down at the person laying on their chest. He wanted to believe there was more than friendship behind those words. The warm feeling he would always get with them filled his chest as he turned his focus back to the movie.

“I really missed you.” He whispered.

“I really missed you too.”

***

Part 2

[hstyleshoney]

untitled harry fic- preview

AU in which you and Harry are friends with benefits but things get complicated, like they always do

word count: 1.5K

A/N: I used to write loads before and then I just stopped bc basically I didn’t have time to, and recently I’ve missed it... but I also feel like I’ve kinda lost it a little? I get stuck all the time, and now I just felt like sharing this little thing I’ve started and wanted to know what others think of it before I continue. So this is sorta just like a preview/test? To see if anyone even enjoys it haha. Trying to not make this little note too long but yeah, I have no idea if anyone is even going to find this but I thought I’d give it a go. To see. It’s been soooooo long since I wrote something, even longer since I posted anything. Feedback is SUPER appreciated. Good AND bad .xxxx

---------

His lips were hot against your skin as he leaned in to whisper in your ear. 

“Your place or mine tonight?” 

You smiled to herself. Your heart skipping a beat as his warm body pressed against your back. The music was loud around the two of you and you could hardly hear yourself think, yet his voice was clear as day. You turned to look at him and was met by his familiar grin as he looked right back. 

“What makes you think I’ll be going home with you tonight?” 

He snorted and raised his eyebrows, and you had to bite down on the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from smiling too much. 

“Well, love” he started and spun you around so he could place his hands on your hips. You felt your cheeks flush under his stare as he pulled you even closer to him. He smelled like beer and tequila mixed with that cologne you loved so much. Your knees weakened and he smirked. “I think we both know you are.” 

He was right. 

But you weren’t going to let him have that. 

“It’s awfully bold of you to assume such a thing Mr Styles.” 

“Is it though?” He was still smirking down at you and you felt her knees weaken even more as his tongue poked out to wet his pink lips. Your heart was pumping so hard you were sure he would've heard it if it weren’t for the loud music. Sweaty bodies kept bumping into you on the overcrowded dance floor, which normally you couldn’t stand, but you were drunk. Very drunk. And you were also hungry, tired and you were in a huge need of a wee. 

However, Harry was standing in front of you. 

So needless to say nothing else really mattered anymore. 

His mere presence made you forget about the people around you and suddenly your bladder didn’t seem so full after all. That’s the effect he had on you and he knew it. With his soft brown hair that curled so pretty at the tips, his smooth skin and green eyes; there was no way you weren’t going home with him again tonight. He was the best thing you had ever laid your eyes on and he also wanted you. 

So who are you to say no? 

“Yours then,” you said and tried to not sound too eager. Harry squeezed your hips as you finally confirmed you would indeed go home with one other again and pulled you even closer into him. His chest pressed against yours and you swore you could feel his heartbeat. 

“See that wasn’t so hard to say, was it?” You knew he was pleased judging by the smug look on his face and rolled your eyes. 

“But we’re stopping to buy fries on the way though,” and as much as it pained you to do; you pushed him off. “And you’re paying.” 

Harry laughed and agreed, but not before adding; “I can give you something a lot better than fries once we get home.” 

And well... you didn’t disagree. 

-*-*-*- 

You’re not entirely sure when this thing between the two of you started, or how it even started. It was just one of those things that happened one night. Harry first came into your life when your best friend Louisa started dating his mate Tom during your first year of uni. 

The first time you met him you didn’t really speak to each other. It was really just a case of you admiring him from afar as he was approached by a handful of women at the bar. You thought he was probably the prettiest guy you had ever laid your eyes on and thought to yourself that he was way too cool for you. 

It was obvious from the start by just watching him that he had an aura around him that drew everyone in. People, both boys and girls, flooded around him wherever he went. He was always the center of attention and you understood why. Because not only was he the prettiest guy you had ever seen... he was also one of the nicest guys you had ever met. At first you had just assumed he’d be an arsehole, because to be fair you’d never really met a guy that got that much attention that wasn’t. 

However, the deeper Louisa’s and Tom’s relationship got the more you all hung out and you started talking to him rather than just staring from afar. You got to know him and even though you two were quite different from each other, you became good friends. 

While you were a typical girls girl who enjoyed spending a little too much money on overpriced makeup palettes and listened to whatever songs were in the top list that week - Harry was a little more into old school music, bringing up bands and songs you had never heard of before. He did all his shopping at different thrift shops. He wore weird shirts and painted his nails without caring what anyone else thought while you couldn’t even leave the house without checking with all your roommates at least three times if your outfit was okay. You loved scrolling through instagram, Harry didn’t even have an account. 

He was interesting, alluring and cool. 

You just weren’t any of that. 

You weren’t his type and he was simply just out of your league. 

Until one night.

It was your friends Jax’s birthday and there had been a ridiculous amount of alcohol consumed. When you told everyone you were leaving Harry stood up and annouced he’d come with you, and because everyone was so drunk, you two included, no one thought more about it. 

You left the club together, Harry got an uber and when it stopped outside your house he got out with you. 

Kisses where shared and clothes came off and the next day you thought you were still sleeping when you woke up next to him. There was no awkwardness as you shared a cup of tea and he made a full english breakfast to cure your hangovers. 

And then the two of you did the same thing again next weekend and it kinda just became a thing. That was three months ago now and it was still nothing you really talked about. Which was fine; you didn’t really want to talk about it. Because what were you supposed to say? Whatever was going on was working and you didn’t want to complicate things. 

You were fine with just waking up next to him every now and again, especially now when the nights were getting colder and darker. It was just nice to have a warm body to snuggle up to.

It was an agreement that worked well for both of you, even if you did fancy him a little it wasn’t a full blown crush and Harry kept calling you his friend so that’s what you also settled on calling yourself. You knew you weren’t the type of girl he usually went for and that made it easier to keep your feelings for him platonic. He was too cool for you anyway. 

This way you just didn’t have to swipe through tinder or chat some random guy up at the bar to get laid. 

Louisa kept warning you that you were going to get your heart broken but you reassured her that no such thing was going to happen. It was just sex. Amazing sex. He made you feel like no other man ever had. Harry knew just how to work you and it made you lose your breath every single time. Your whole body was on fire anytime he touched you. 

“What time is it?” 

Harry’s sleepy voice startled you and his body vibrated against yours under the duvet as he chuckled. His arm was slung over you loosely and you could feel his breath on the back of your neck, leaving goosebumps all over your skin.

“I dunno,” you whispered back and leaned into his touch a little more. The hair on his legs tickled your smoother ones and his skin was clammy against yours. But neither of you made any effort to move away from each other. It was early still, the sun barely shining through the blinds in Harry’s bedroom. 

“Hm,” he hummed and tightened his grip a little. “Can’t sleep?” 

“Just thinking. “ 

“About...?” 

“Nothing really.” 

Harry hummed again but didn’t say anything else. You laid in silence while Harry stroked his thumb over your stomach gently. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. Just the two of you, tangled in each other’s naked bodies and the sheets. You could feel a hangover coming over you slowly. Your head felt heavy, throbbing painfully against the soft pillows under you. There was a glass of water on the bedside table tempting you but reaching out for it meant moving away from Harry and you were just way too comfortable to do so. 

It wasn’t long until Harry’s soft snores filled the room again and his thumb stilled. You sighed deeply, sleep creeping over you too. You were friends. Friends that slept together and cuddled. Nothing else. Just friends. 

... but you really could stay like this forever. 

-----------------------------

Sooo basically, like I said. This is just the start of something I’ve been writing and I just want to know what people think of it. I feel a bit rusty writing, so understand if it’s a bit weird haha BUT I appreciate anyone who took their time reading it. Thank you. And if someone wants to let me know their thoughts or have any ideas of what to change, please send me a message. Like anything is appreciated. Thanks <3 

ps i know there’s probably a few spelling errors in there. like i said, i’m a bit rusty, sorry! 

[pixieungerstories]

Housemate - 3

Sticker Promotion is still up on Patreon until Feb 2.  Get a housemate sticker for each dollar pledged.  I have one for each character.

Vinny was a lot less sure of this once she saw all the other… people who lived in the house.  It was one thing to understand, intellectually that she was going to be the only human, and the only woman in the house.  I was another thing to be faced by a number of large males, any of whom could end her life without trying.  It looked like they all had assigned seating.  Vinny watched them start unpacking the food.  It was a lot of food. “Excuse me, ma’am?”

Vinny jumped.  The voice behind her was deep with an accent that was really weird hybrid of Scottish and Texas.  She turned and came boobs to belt buckle with a minotaur.  While she stared up at him in shock, he eased past her and took a seat at the table.  The drider dropped from the ceiling and slid into one of the other seats.  Vinny came over to the table and considered the last two chairs.  Then she looked at Bazur. “Which one is Kevin?” Something bumped into the backs of her calves, making her wobble and dance to the side.  A small truck walked past her and jumped into one of the remaining chairs. “Huh.” she said, finally as she took the last seat. “What?” rumbled the orc, as he watched her through narrowed eyes.  The tusks meant that orcs always looked like they were frowning, but the wrinkled brow suggested that he was actually frowning. Vinny cleared her throat and accepted the fried rice the minotaur was passing her.  “I, um,  I’ve never… “  She stopped and tried again, “Mimics are rare.  I’ve never actually seen - met one before.  I was half convinced that was just some prank you pulled to see how people would react. Kevin opened his lid and reached out a midnight black arm holding a pair of chopsticks. Vinny realized she was staring.  She blinked and looked over to see the minotaur patiently holding a carton of lemon chicken in her direction.  She hurried to take some rice so she could pass it along and take the chicken.  “I don’t suppose you would take a moment to introduce yourselves?” They all froze and looked at her like she had grown a second head. “Ok.  I’ll start.  Hi! I’m Vinny.  I’m in my fourth year of biochem at the local U.” No one said anything.  They all just stared. Vinny cleared her throat.  ‘If you can’t be bothered because I didn’t pass the interview, it’s ok to tell me that.  I would rather know.” The mostly normal looking guy sitting to her left said, “Haven’t we scared you off yet?  You smell scared.” Vinny narrowed her eyes.  “That would make you …” she drew out the last syllable as she racked her brain then blurted out, “Derick” a moment before he did. Derick smirked, “See! You didn’t need introductions after all!” The minotaur cleared his throat.  “We can be polite, we are just out of practice.  I’m Tristan.” Vinny nodded.  The rest of the men introduced themselves after that, except for Kevin who was busy shoveling food into his mouth and Thea who just waved shyly.

Vinny sighed.

----

“No!  Absolutely not!”

Vinny took a deep breath and considered her mom across the breakfast table.  Her little brother was snickering into his milk.  “I really did investigate every other possibility before I applied and-”

“And that’s another thing!  You went there by yourself?  Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?  What if something had happened?”

Now Vinny narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms.  “I took Jenn with me. And you don’t like this solution?  Fine!  Tell me how this is supposed to work?”

“You can take a cab home.”

“Really?  After hours rates would be $40 a trip, twice a week for fifteen weeks a semester.  That’s like $1200 a term.  You flat out refused to let me take Uber at that time of night.  Which is worse? Random, stranger driving an Uber at 10:30 at night?  Or a ex-military orc who was honourably discharged?  And you get to know exactly who the orc is and you can give his very specific details to the cops if I go missing.”

“I don’t like this, Vincenzia!  We can get someone to pick you up.”

“Ma!  Who?  You need to be home with JJ-”

Vinny’s little brother looked up from his cereal and said, “Hey! I can take care of myself!”

They both ignored him.  “You can’t load him into a car at 10:00 on a school night to drive the half hour trip to campus.  You going to leave him here, alone for the hour minimum that it is going to take to pick me up?  And that’s ignoring that you don’t like driving at night.  And that you have to be up at five thirty to be at work on time.”

They glared at each other.  Everyone said it was easy to see where Vinny got her tenacity from.  

“It’s Saturday.  Kogan is coming to church with us tomorrow and we are invited over there for brunch so you can meet the guys and see where I’ll be staying and everything.”

Valerie Jovani narrowed her eyes.  “I thought you said you were going to be the cook.  How are we going to go for brunch at their house if they don’t cook?’  She asked the question like a poker player laying down an ace.

Vinny shrugged, “It doesn’t matter if they feed us pop tarts and beer, the brunch isn’t the point.”

“No, the point is that you are not moving into a house with a bunch of men.  You are not Snow White, they are not the seven dwarves.”

“Does that make you the evil queen?”  JJ asked with his mouth full.

Mrs Jovani was stunned into silence for long enough for Vinny to make her get away.

----

Vinny knew this wasn’t going to work as soon as Kogan pulled up to their church riding a Road Hawg Orc motorcycle.  It was big.  It was loud.  It was built for a seven foot, three hundred pound plus rider.  He removed a helmet that had a stylized orc skull on the side.  He pulled off a pair of sunglasses and tucked them into the pocket of his worn leather jacket.  He looked a little better when he took off the jacket to reveal a blue dress shirt and navy tie.  Except...

“Well, bless me father for I have sinned, ”  it was muttered darkly under her breath, but it still wasn’t something Vinny wanted to hear from her Aunt Toni.

Val tried to be subtle as she kicked her sister in the shins.

Toni turned on her heels and made eye contact with her sister as she mouthed, “oh my god he is hot.”

Vinny rolled her eyes.  Yeah.  Kogan knew how to fill out a shirt.  And the slight paunch somehow just made his shoulders look broader.  This was not the reaction she was hoping for.

She wasn't pleased when Aunt Toni invited herself to brunch.  Jesus.

At least Kogan knew the words.  And when to stand and sit during mass.  She almost died during the sign of peace when JJ pushed up Kogan’s sleeve and announced, “Whoa!  Cool rosary tattoo dude!”

Brunch was in the garden.  It was crepes and fruit with whipped cream.  Everyone was dressed up.  Sort of.  Bazur was at least wearing pants.  Thea was wearing a brown tartan bow tie and a polo shirt.  He wasn’t wearing anything else, but clothing was also optional for driders.  It might have been better if JJ hadn’t asked if he could pet the drider.  Vinny grabbed his arm and dragged him a way to explain that his had just asked to rub the nice man’s ass.  JJ thought that was hilarious.

Aunt Toni spent entirely too much time staring at Tristan thoughtfully.

Vinny felt like she spent the whole time trying to wrangle her family so they wouldn’t be completely rude to her potential bosses.

OMG!  Aunt Toni just slowly sucked whipped cream off her finger while making heavy eye contact with Tristan.   Vinny was on her way over to have words with her aunt when the woman shifted uncomfortably in her seat and blushed.

Val frowned from across the table, “You ok, Toni?”

Vinny watched as her aunt started to fan herself, “Hot flash,” Toni announced.  “I’ll be fine in a moment.”  The last word came out as a squeek.  

Vinny felt the blood drain from her face as she looked around and couldn’t find Kevin.  She looked at Bazur in horror.  He blinked, then quickly shook his head and pointed to a side table where JJ had set his orange juice.  Vinny marched over picked up the glass and muttered, “Come with me if you want to live,” under her breath.  She didn’t wait to see if it was going to work but after a few steps she heard the pitter patter of mimic feet behind her.  She marched right in the back door and made a right into the living room.

Once she was in the center of the room she spun on her heels and came face to face with a giant rocking horse.

“Really?  That’s what you are going with here?”

The rocking horse blurred and was replaced with a sea trunk.  Vinny wished she knew how that worked but also was kind of glad she didn’t.

“I have been assured you talk, even if I’ve never heard it.”

The sea chest gave no indication of life.

“I wanna know if you are gonna sabotage this for me.  I don’t exactly have a lot of options here.  I know it.  Ma knows it.  But she isn’t gonna want me staying here if she thinks it isn’t safe and I’m not gonna wanna stay here if I know she is worried about me.  Pop left years ago.  It’s been her and me as a team since then.  And, yeah, I know Aunt Toni is being inappropriate.  But she’s not the one who will be living here.  But she is mom’s sister and her opinion will count for something too.”

Still no response.

“And, yeah, I have no idea how her thing with Tristan is going to play out.  But I can’t exactly ask her if she recognizes him in front of my mom and my brother now can I?”

Nothing.

Vinny hesitated, “If you are actually a really nice guy who is just being slandered by the others, I am sorry.”

After a moment she said, “Ok.  Good talk,” and she went back outside.  At the threshold she was sure she heard snickering.

When she got back out to the garden, Ma and Kogan were having a quiet word in the back corner.  Tristen was giving Aunt Toni and impromptu lecture about varieties of lily.  Toni looked bored out of her mind.  JJ was playing Go Fish with Thea and Dren.

Finally, it was time to go and as they all loaded into the car, Val turned to Toni and asked, “What the hell - sorry JJ - was that thing with the whipped cream?”

Toni laughed, then coughed, and said, “I thought I recognized the minotaur.  But I was thinking of someone else.”

“Yeah well now Vinny’s gonna haveta apologize for you when she moves in.  Otherwise they won’t let us come back to visit.”

[maknaesdancersrappers]

jaehyun + if by chance

i. baby dont like it

ii. does she know/she’s not me

song used: x

warnings: swearing / explicit words, unedited

a/n: y’all asked for ONE LAST installment for this and i’ll make it lengthy so it could be worth your time and read ((and holy shit it’s at 6.4k))

-

Graduating from college meant a lot of things for you. It meant new beginnings; you’d move away from your parents to start working on your own, it meant being independent, it meant making new friends.

It meant leaving Jaehyun behind.

Ever since that night you had confronted him in front of his girlfriend’s home, you never talked to him again. Even when both of you were in your circle of friends, you paid him no attention. For some reason, his girlfriend stopped coming with him when your circle of friends got together but you honestly only noticed when Winwin innocently pointed it out. Maybe Jaehyun told her to back off and she decided to stop hanging out with them, but really, you don’t care.

He also never talked to you again, but there were times when you’d catch him approaching you, only to turn away when you see him or he would just look at you, as if he was debating himself or always hesitant with his moves, and you would move away from him, escaping whatever conversation he wanted to spark up.

It was weeks of avoiding and dodging chances of being alone together, but you were able to graduate with what you forced yourself to believe was peace.

It’s been a couple of years since you’ve graduated and you have been jumping from job to job to find one that suited you the most. Among the guy friends you had back in school, you only kept in touch with Yuta since he lived closest and worked in the same area where your apartment was. He would eat out with you from time to time, depending on your schedules.

You had recently gotten passed a job screening and orientation for all the new applicants would be today at 10 AM. Something in your gut told you this was the job you’d be sticking to and Yuta, who all of a sudden declared to be your new best friend (not that you were complaining since he was all you got in the city,) decided to treat you dinner after the orientation.

Before you could even worry about where to eat, you had to get ready for the orientation. You dressed simply, opting for a smart casual outfit with a ‘no makeup’ makeup look. The building was a 15-minute Uber away and you were there with a few minutes to spare before the call time.

The receptionist directed you to the conference room where 3 other new applicants were already seated and talking amongst themselves. You greet them and introduce yourself as you take a seat at the long table with them.

You learn their names to be Miyoung, Jangmi, and Sora, and as it turns out, they’re all roommates.

“Don’t worry, we’re not the type to ostracize people.” Miyoung shrugs when she catches your expression after learning they were already close friends.  “Who knows, maybe you’d click with the last applicant.”

“There’s one more?” You eye the empty seat in front of you. “Well, she’s not gonna make a good impression if she’s not here in the next minute.”

“Maybe she took her time with makeup, I know someone in this room did.” Jangmi side eyes Sora, who flips her off.

Just then, the door opens and your chest constricts. She is definitely not a she.

Your mouth goes dry a little; he looked more mature, features a little more defined and body thicker with muscles under the fitting clothes he wore. His cheeks and ears red with embarrassment knowing he was almost late and he sported those dimples, smiling when he greets the other girls, only to falter when his eyes met yours.

Jung Jaehyun had become a man since you last saw him.

But then you are reminded of all the tears you have cried because of him, the pain you’ve suffered for being his side chick; for being his second option, so you collected yourself, sat up straight and swallowed hard. You had to prove that you’ve moved on.

As the girls introduce themselves one by one, you were faced with two options: either you greet him casually like the old friend he is, or you pretend you never knew him and just hope to god that he plays along. You thought it was petty to choose the latter, but you end up choosing that option when Miyoung finishes her introduction and looks over to you.

“I’m [Y/N].” You keep your composure despite hurriedly saying your name.

He looks taken aback with your reaction, minutely frowning before giving a polite smile. “My name is Jaehyun.”

As the other girls animatedly talk to him, trying to make him feel welcome since he’s apparently the only male applicant, you busy yourself on your phone. You send consecutive stressed text messages to Yuta, still typing in proper grammar and punctuation despite wanting to abuse the capslock out of your phone.

He doesn’t reply, obviously, because he’s at work but you hope he checks his phone during his bathroom breaks.

Jangmi tries to rope you into the conversation, but luckily for you, the HR head enters the room and starts the orientation.

During the tour of all 18 floors of the building, you kept your distance from Jaehyun, tagging right behind the HR head while he lingers at the back of the small crowd. You could feel him staring at you and the only you can do about it is ignore him and pay attention to what the HR was talking about.

The orientation ended at the cafeteria where all of you had a free late lunch before being divided into the teams you were sorted into. You mostly stuck with Miyoung, who was generally clingy upon meeting you, while Jangmi kept Jaehyun company through random observations during the tour.

The five of you ate at one table, talking about random things until the conversation was about relationships. All three of the girls were apparently taken, with both Sora and Jangmi being engaged, while Miyoung had a slow relationship with her boyfriend.

“How about you, [Y/N]?” Miyoung nudges you with her shoulder.

Caught off guard as you saw Jaehyun’s eyes flicker down to your phone when Yuta’s face comes on screen for an incoming phone call, you blurt out, “Y-yeah! I’m, uh, seeing someone.”

“Is that him?” She peers over your phone and frowns when the call ends, “Oh no, he dropped it.”

“Oh, don’t worry. He’s just checking up on me.” You guessed he’s read the 20+ messages you left him.

“Yuta, was it?” She ponders for a moment, “Is he Korean?”

You shake your head, “No, he’s Japanese. We met in college but only got together after graduation.” You were surprised with how steady your voice was while lying and even more so the fact you weren’t cringing at the thought of having Yuta as a boyfriend. The whole time you told your little lie, you haven’t spared Jaehyun a glance in fear of his reaction.

“Aw, that’s cute.” Sora comments, taking a sip from her water bottle. “How about you, Jaehyun?”

“Ah,” He sighs, “I’m single.”

This made you finally look at him. There was a tinge of pink on his cheeks as he pushed the contents of his rice bowl around with his chopsticks, avoiding the curious smiles of the other three.

“I don’t believe it. A face like that can’t be single.” Jangmi shakes her head, to which he shyly laughs at.

“I’ve been single since I graduated college.” His voice trails off and his gaze is set on you.

It doesn’t take you long enough to understand what he was trying to silently tell you. Anger bubbled inside you all of a sudden. Was he suggesting he had broken up with his girlfriend because of you? Was that the reason why she stopped showing up during hang outs or parties? What was he trying to say, that he chose you over her?

“Do you plan to look for love here then?” You don’t even know who suggested that because Jaehyun’s answer made your ears ring and his affectionate, but melancholic gaze made you glare.

“I was hoping it would find me.”

You’re years late, you wanted to scream.

Your phone rings and you thank the heavens that Yuta was calling you. “Excuse me, it’s probably about our dinner reservations for our anniversary.” You say in one breath and this time, you actually cringed. Who on earth tells that much information in one sentence to a bunch of people they just met?

They all congratulate you, sans Jaehyun, who simply stared with an unreadable expression.

You thank them before picking up the call and hurrying outside.

Yuta was hounding you with questions before you can say hello and to shut him up, you just tell him straight away, “I told him we’re dating.”

“You wHAT?!”

You wince at his screeching, pulling your phone away briefly. “I’m just as disgusted, don’t worry.”

“Then why’d you say we were dating? Do you honestly think he’d believe that I, of all people, would be dating someone seriously?”

“Hey,” You scold, “You’ve changed since your fuck boy days back in college, you need to give yourself more credit.”

“He doesn’t know that!”

“Then prove it to him later if he sees you! Kiss my forehead or something when you pick me up.”

“[Y/N].”

You grimace at his tone. “What?”

“You said you moved on.”

“I know and I have, it’s just…” You groan, “The other applicants asked me about my relationship status before him and I assumed he was still together with her. I didn’t want it to seem like I’ve been single and depressed all my life.”

“You are.” He rudely cuts in.

“You’re a dick, you know that?”

“No, I have a dick. And it’s my best asset.”

“Ew. Don’t be gross. I’ll see you later, oh and by the way, today’s our anniversary.”

When you went back inside, it was just time for you guys to be sorted out into your respective departments.

And lo and behold, you were in Marketing with Jaehyun.

The Marketing department head was a nice man, had a wrinkled, eye smile, but still looked young.. “Nice to meet both of you, I’m Jungsu and I should have prepared for both of you to do something, but it’s been such a crazy week that it slipped my mind that I had to give you guys your daily task.”

“Well, we can help alleviate you from some the work?” You suggest and Jungsu hums at the thought.

“It’s a mundane task, but I need some organizing and filing of the documents we’ve accumulated. Are you two sure about doing that?”

Once you’ve assured him that both of you are willing and okay with it, he leads you to a room full of metal organizers and a table overflowing with manila folders and envelopes. Jungsu leaves with another apology and you pick up the first folder on top of the pille, scanning through the papers.

As you look around to find the cabinet it’s supposed to go into, you hear Jaehyun clear his throat.

“Yuta-hyung?”

You don’t look at him and continue your task, “Yeah. He was all I had when I moved out here.”

That struck Jaehyun inside his chest. “But he’s…”

“He was.” You defend, turning back to the table and picking out another document to sort.

In the corner of your eye, you see him move and look through a manila folder. It was silent after that and it was only what felt like half an hour later when he breaks it with, “Are you happy?”

The pile of papers on the table lessened, but there were still a lot to file. You look up from the folder you were reading to look at him for the first time since both of you started working in the room. He looked genuinely curious, eyebrows a little scrunched and lips formed in a straight line.

Were you happy? You know he was asking about being with Yuta and obviously you don’t have an answer to that since the apparently-year-long relationship was just formed in a measly minute. So opted to answer in context of how you have been without him, per se. You open your mouth to answer but shut it close immediately, realizing you didn’t have an exact answer.

Were you?

After you graduated and moved away, you convinced yourself it was because you wanted to start fresh and new. However in reality, you just wanted to move away from him. The years without seeing and hearing of him had helped you forget about him, thinking you had finally moved on.

But seeing him now, having him so close, you’re starting to think you never actually did.

“Yes.” You croak out when you’ve stretched out the time for you to answer for too long. “I am.”

He nods, “I’m glad to hear that.” and he gives you one of the most sincere, yet heartbreaking smile you have ever seen grace his face--or anyone, for that matter.

And it pinched your heart to see it, so much so that you turned away, walking to a cabinet and stuffing the folder you were just reading inside. You take a deep breath, scolding yourself for being affected by it.

Until the table was cleared and the last file was sorted, you and Jaehyun had not exchanged anymore words. The silence was bearable and there wasn’t really any tension in the air because when Jungsu came in to tell you guys you could go home for the day, he didn’t comment on the atmosphere he walked into.

You met up with the girls at the elevator and boarded it with Jaehyun. They also didn’t seem to notice anything strange between you and him, choosing to talk about the software they had to work with under the graphics team.

Yuta was already at the lobby waiting for you, mindlessly scrolling through his phone as he leaned against a column.

You see Jaehyun visibly tense up when he sees him, but you quickly run up to Yuta to even care why he reacted that way.

He sees you, putting his phone down but not really looked like he was all that excited until his eyes catch sight of Jaehyun. He flashes that smile he was always known for, throwing his arms around you for a hug. “Hello, love.”

“Gross. Don’t call me that.” You whisper into his ear as you hug him back, making him chuckle.

“If you want to sell this, than deal with it.” He whispers back, kissing your forehead like you told him to. “Let’s go?”

You nod as you let him lead you away. You didn’t look back anymore, but you were able to catch the one thing you didn’t want to see.

Jung Jaehyun’s disappointed face.

-

“I still don’t get why we have to pretend to be a couple.” Yuta grumbles before slurping on the ramen he had ordered. “This is a great way for you and Jaehyun to have closure.”

“What if I don’t want closure?” You twirling your chopsticks into the noodles.

“Then you’re basically admitting you haven’t moved on.”

You grimace at Yuta, hating the fact he was right. “But if you only heard him a while ago! Saying ‘I was hoping love would find me’ while staring right at me! Does he think after all these years, I would still be in love with him?”

“Well, aren’t you?” He scoffs and you kick his shin under the table, eliciting a yelp. “Ow!”

“You’re being a horrible boyfriend!”

“Because I’m better at being your best friend!” He scowls, “Aha! Maybe that’s something Jae and I have in common! Or,” He follows up, seeing your eyes narrow and fist tighten around your chopsticks, “Not! Look, if you want my honest opinion, give the guy a chance. Maybe not in love, but maybe become friends again? Where’s the harm in that?”

“I could fall in love with him all over again.”

“[Y/N], you can’t fall into something you haven’t fallen out of yet.”

And you promptly kick him in the shin again.

-

When you return to work the next morning, you were given a cubicle to work in and you were glad that your work station was at least 4 cubicles away from Jaehyun. You had a scheduled ID picture taking before lunch with the others and while waiting for that, you browsed through previous reports and researches on sales and advertising in the computer’s files. Before you know it, someone was tapping your shoulder.

It was Jaehyun. “Hey, they’re calling us for our photos to be taken.”

“Oh, okay.” You quickly put the computer into sleep mode before following Jaehyun out.

And that was the only conversation you two had for the entire day.

Every day after that, the only interactions you had were greeting each other a good morning or goodbye when it was time to go home. Even during lunch, neither of you would talk to each other and let the Roommates, as you now called them, fill the silence up.

You would notice how he’d stop eating when one of the Roommates ask you about Yuta and do your best not to stutter over your lie. It would seem you were doing a good job at it since he seemed so affected by it. You felt powerful, for some reason, maybe because you were finally letting him experience what you had gone through because of him. It was mean, you have to admit, but a large part of you believes he deserves it.

The days fly by and they turn into weeks, mundane tasks turn into gruesome paperworks that started to pile up day after day. But all of the hard work and working overtime was paid off during the first pay day.

The Roommates suggested to go out for a drink and you agree. Jangmi had managed to rope Jaehyun in and by eight o’clock, all five of you were seated in a dingy booth and ordering shots. You could hold alcohol well, but that doesn’t mean your mouth would coordinate. You were a talkative drunk, amongst other traits alcohol can bring out of you. Jaehyun, as you remember, holds alcohol the best among your circle of college friends. He was a quiet, happy drunk, and you’ll know he’s reached his limit when his face and ears are red.

As the Roommates gossipped about the happenings in their department, you catch Jaehyun lazily smiling at you.

“What?” You ask, suddenly feel conscious about your appearance.

“Nothing.” He shrugs, “I’m just glad we met again.”

You cast a glance at the Roommates, but they didn’t seem to hear him over the music and their own voices. “Okay.”

“I’m also glad Yuta’s changed and is keeping you happy.”

Your fingers twitch around the shot glass, lowering your head. “Thanks--”

“But,” He cuts you off, making you look up at him through your lashes. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry about--”

It was your turn to cut him off, but instead of words, you bolted out the booth and made a beeline for the exit, leaving some money on the table before leaving. You can hear them call out for you, Jaehyun’s voice absent amongst them, and you guessed it was better that way.

-

The next morning, you run into Jaehyun in the break room, getting coffee for the hangover you supposed both of you had.

“Good morning.” He greets, like always.

“Morning.” You whisper, taking your mug and filling it halfway with the coffee from the maker.

Jaehyun hands you the fresh milk he had previously used. “You still like your coffee with half of it with milk?”

You nod, preparing your drink.

And you think he’d let you be, but he starts talking again.

“[Y/N], about last night--”

“Can we not?”

“But--”

“Jaehyun.”

“I just want to be friends again.”

You stare up at him, watching his face contort in a frustrated frown.

“I just… I just want to be friends again with you.” His voice was soft. “That’s why I wanted to apologize.”

Your lips part to reply, but he’s beaten you by talking again.

“But if you don’t want to, I respect that and--”

“No, we can be friends again.” You say without thinking and he pauses.

“Really?”

You sigh to yourself, it’s not like you can take back what you said, so you nod your head. “Yeah.”

Jaehyun smiles, the kind that makes his eyes into crescents, his nose scrunch, and his dimples appear. The smile that made you smile. “Okay. Well, I have to summarize last week’s meeting for the new campaign. Here,” He hands you three packets of sugar. “These are the last ones in the cupboard.”

“Oh, thanks.” You stare at the packets in your hands before watching him leave. Your lips quirk into a smirk. He still remembers how you had your coffee: half milk with three servings of sugar.

Satisfied with your coffee, you walk back to your cubicle, seeing Jaehyun from his. He takes a sip of his coffee and winces, his reaction making you chuckle to yourself.

It was only when you sat yourself down did you realize he didn’t put sugar in his coffee so you could have yours like how you wanted it.

-

Just like that, your relationship with Jaehyun improved. You had your friendly banters again like before, but you can see him hesitating from time to time, probably because he was still under the impression that you were with Yuta.

Speaking of, Yuta had been elated with the news and demanded to be fake broken up with effective immediately, and like always, you responded with your middle finger.

After another month passes by and both of you were now well acquainted with most of the employees. Somehow, word got around that you were not single so most of the male employees kept their conversations with you at a professional, but friendly manner.

Jaehyun, on the other hand, was constantly flocked with female workers, even from different departments--from different floors. It was entertaining to watch because it reminded you of your school days with him. Watching all these girls fling themselves at Jaehyun when it was obvious he wasn’t interested. But at the same time, you felt bitter because the only reason why he didn’t entertain them back then was because you were entertaining each other.

So what was stopping him now?

-

Everything has been platonic between you and Jaehyun. He’s asked about meeting Yuta, but his schedule never matched any of yours and it just so happened he had to go back to Japan for a his sister’s wedding.

He asked if you were going to the company anniversary party and you said you were because it meant free food and booze.

“You really haven’t changed, [Y/N].” He laughs and you simply shrug your shoulders at him.

He offers to pick you up, but you turn him down. You had to run an errand for Yuta since he wasn’t at his apartment and someone had to feed his pets.

The party was held in a rented out club during Friday night, you were actually quite late because Yuta’s pets were way too playful and you had to clean up the mess they made.

When you finally arrived, almost everyone was drunk and jumping to the music. You wave at Miyoung, who seems sober, unlike her roommates who looked like they were just about pass out but still downed shots. She points behind you and you follow her finger.

Among a group of guys, which you recognized as the IT department, was Jaehyun, boisterously laughing while holding a bottle of beer. Even in the bad lighting, you could tell he was drunk with how dark his ears have become.

You approach the group and it was Jaehyun who greets you first.

“Hey! You made it!” He grins and you uneasily return it.

“Yeah.. are you… okay? Maybe you should stop the drinking?”

One of the IT guys, Jun, laughs, “This guy has some great tolerance with alcohol! He’s pushing himself to the limit.”

This makes you worry. “Hey, Jae, maybe you should stop.”

“Jae? Jae!” He howls, “I haven’t heard that nickname from you since college!”

Another IT guy, Wooseok, cocks his head, “You guys know each other from college?”

You open your mouth to answer, but Jaehyun beats you to it.

“College? Oh no, we go way back. We’ve been friends since we were in diapers. Heck, we were best friends!”

You’ve never seen Jaehyun this drunk before and it was scaring you for some reason.

“Man!” He hollers, “[Y/N] and I went through thick and thin together. She meant the world to me, but guess what? Ha! I had to fuck that up!”

“Jaehyun.” You try to grab his arm but he’s swaying around so much that he slipped through your grasp.

“I fucked our relationship up because I. fucked. her.”

You were frozen in place, ice cold dread flooding your veins. Even the amused smiles of the guys around him started to falter.

“Repeatedly!” He laughs, “And you would think because she just meant so much to me, I would make her my girl, but no! I went out and got myself a girlfriend for some stupid ass reason. And here’s the catch, fellas, [Y/N] and I still got it on behind my girlfriend’s back.”

Jun lets out a low whistle of disapproval.

At this point, you don’t even know how to react. You just stood there, staring at this man that looked like your best friend and had the knowledge of the past, but spoke nothing like him.

“Honestly, I was never even in love with my girlfriend-- my ex-girlfriend. Ah, she knew how to punch, seriously.” Jaehyun absentmindedly rubs his jaw. “I thought I could make things right with you, I-I didn’t know how but before I knew it, I was too late. You got Yuta, of all people, who makes you happy and I know it’s selfish but I pray everyday he would break your heart and have you run to me.”

You suddenly felt angry. Not at him, but at yourself, because what he was saying was true. You and Yuta might not be dating, but if anything happens, you would be running to Jaehyun. You wanted to respond to him. Scream at him. Anything. But you did what you always did best: you turned around and ran away.

-

It was the Saturday noon after the party and you were curled up on the couch, staring at the television.

You haven’t slept properly since you came home last night. You remember crying your eyes out before you can even open the door and stumbling around the house to get your clothes off. You tried to shower it off, the bad memories and the reopened wounds, but you still feel horrible inside.

The television was off. You never turned it on. You just stared at your reflection, the black tint of it all represented your mood. You’ve never felt so alone before.

You finally admit to yourself that you never truly did move on from Jaehyun.

You could have easily replaced him, now that you think of it. There were countless men that had flirted with you, some were decent enough and actually passed your standards, but you never got into a relationship, not even one hook-up since you graduated.

You always thought it was because you were waiting for the one, but now you were beginning to think you were actually waiting for Jaehyun.

You start to tear up again when you can feel your chest ache because you realize Jaehyun broke up with her to choose you even though you told him to choose her. It started to scare you just how deeply in love you are with, but just couldn’t swallow your pride long enough to accept it.

There was a knock on your door and you didn’t think much of it as you wipe your eyes before answering it.

“Please don’t close the door on me.”

You gripped on the doorknob and you swear your knuckles had turned white, nevertheless you stood still and looked at Jaehyun.

He was still in the clothes from the night before and he reeked of the alcohol he had consumed.

“And you don’t have to let me in, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” He starts off, “I remember everything I said to you last night. I know what I was saying, I just… I just couldn’t stop myself. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” was your instinctive answer but he hushes you.

“No, it’s not okay. I embarrassed you in front of them and I’m fucking up our friendship all over again. God! I’m still so stupid.” He scolds himself, “I’m sorry about wanting Yuta to break your heart. I just… it’s selfish, but I wanted you to know that if he does, I’d be here for you, like… an option.”

You inhaled deeply, nodding your head to show you understood his words.

“I’m also really sorry about… before. I knew how I felt about you and I disregarded it, along with your feelings. I just thought you wanted everything to be physical between us so when I started falling for you, I had to express it elsewhere. That’s where she came in… and I thought maybe I would get serious with her because she’s the perfect description of the type of girl you’d bring home but she’s…” His voice trails off, “She’s not--She’s not you, [Y/N].”

“I don’t know how to respond to what you’re saying.” You quietly admit, casting your eyes downwards to your feet.

“You don’t have to. You can even forget about me telling you, I just had to get it off my chest.” Jaehyun sighs, “Well, I don’t want to hold you up any longer. I probably ruined your day by being here. I’ll get going now.”

You glance up at him when he hasn’t moved after saying he’d go.

“I-I just… I meant what I said before.” He clears his throat. “I’m really am glad that Yuta makes you happy.” He halfheartedly smiles before turning around to leave.

You shut your eyes, feeling a familiar pricking sensation, as your head pounded and chest constrict, “Jae.”

He stops halfway down the hallway and looks over his shoulder.

“Yuta and I…” You shake your head, allowing the tears slip down the corners of your eyes, “We’re not dating. We never were.”

It takes a moment for him to respond, a sad smile on his lips. “I know.”

“W-what? How?”

“I was your best friend, [Y/N]. I know you. I know when you lie.” He fully faces his body towards you, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

A blush manages to find its way across your cheeks, “Then why didn’t you call me out on it?”

“I don’t know. I thought you wanted to show me that you didn’t need me to be happy; that you were fine without me and that you’ve moved on.” He shrugs, chuckling shortly afterwards, “I almost believed it at one point and it hurt, you know, but I guess I deserved that because that’s what I made you go through, right?” He watches you for a bit with a clear frown, “Why are you crying?”

If he hadn’t asked, you wouldn’t have noticed. Your tears had collected on your chin, some dropping to the floor while some continued down your neck. You try to tell him something but sob comes out instead. You crumble to the floor and within seconds, Jaehyun is holding you in his arms and asking you what’s wrong.

“It’s not fair.” You choke out, “It’s been years without any contact, I’ve cried so much because of you. It’s only fair that I keep you out of my life but I just find myself letting you back in.”

“If you want me to leave, then I’ll leave. I’ve hurt you enough.” He whispers into your ear.

“But I,” Your lips quiver, feeling defeated as you finally let go of your pride, “I miss you. Oh god, Jaehyun, I missed you so much.” You bury yourself into his arms, holding onto his shirt with a death grip as if he’d disappear if you held him any looser.

“Shh, I missed you, too. Please stop crying.”

And you honestly did try to calm yourself down, but everything was just so overwhelming. You’ve forgotten what it was like to be hugged by him, how incredibly sweet and comforting he was. When you moved out here for the first time, you felt so alone and all you wanted to do was call him up, but you had to stop yourself every time and end up crying on your bed. When you tried to go out and meet new guys, you’d recoil every time because none of them were your type; none of them were Jaehyun.

-

You jolt awake, gripping the pillow under your head. It was dark in your room and the only light source was the moon outside. Your foggy mind cleared up a bit and you remembered Jaehyun.

Was it all just a dream?

Your eyes felt raw from crying. Pushing yourself up, you sit on the bed, dazed and confused. Have you been asleep all day? Disappointment overcomes you. It had felt real, though. His arms around you, the sweet nothings he whispered to calm you down. But you guess your emotions have gotten the better of you and heavily influenced your dream.

It said it was one AM on your alarm clock and you begrudgingly got off the bed to grab a bottle of water in the kitchen. You don’t open any lights, knowing your way around your apartment anyways. It was small either way, with the kitchen open to the living room. You open the fridge and let its light illuminate the rest of the room, taking out a bottle of water and drinking from it.

You hear what sounded like a snore from behind you, whipping your head to the direction of where it came from. You see an outline of mass on your couch and you move to the side to let the refrigerator light shine on it. Your breath gets caught in your throat when you make out the person on your couch.

You rub your eyes to double check. Closing the fridge, you cautiously walked up to the light switch and turned it on.

Jaehyun’s head was lolled back, mouth agape as he snored. He was always a light sleeper so when the lights turned on, he immediately reacts. His head snaps up first, eyes screwed shut at the sudden brightness of his environment. He groans, rolling his head a bit before peeking with one eye and discovers you staring at him.

“You’re awake.” He shoots up, a knee hitting the coffee table in front of him. “I, uhm, well, you fainted from crying so hard that I tucked you in--!”

It only took a few quick steps for you to reach him and slip your arms around his waist. “Oh god, I thought I was dreaming. You’re here.”

“I, yeah… I didn’t think leaving you after you fainted was a good idea so,” You feel his hand smooth down your back while the other was on your shoulder.

“You stayed.” You pulled away to look up at him. “Thank you.”

He smiles, “You don’t have to thank me.”

The two of you stood like that for a couple of minutes, assessing what just happened and what is bound to happen, but there was hint of satisfaction beneath all that. The hand on your shoulder had moved to touch your cheek, his thumb stroking the skin as gently as he could.

“Why didn’t you sleep beside me?”

“It didn’t feel right. Besides, I went straight here after waking up in Jun’s apartment. My clothes were soiled and I hadn’t bathed.”

You cock a brow, “Is that why you smell like my detergent?”

He flushes, “I threw my clothes in the laundry while I took a shower.”

“So, you’re telling me that while I was passed out, you were parading around my apartment in a towel?”

“No, I didn’t know where your towels were.”

“Oh,” And now your dirty mind was filled with images of what you remembered how his body looked like, “Even better.”

“Stop, don’t even go there.” He lightly reprimands you. When he sees your confused expression, he starts to explain, “If I’m entering your life again, I’m going to treat you right--”

“You already know how to.” You interject, suggestively.

“[Y/N], please. I meant taking you out on proper dates and show you off as my girlfriend.”

It was your turn to blush, “I’d like that.”

He leans down and presses his lips to your forehead, “Then let’s take it slow. Give or take a couple of months.”

You pull away from him, “I am not waiting a couple of months to have sex with you. We can start tomorrow, don’t you like morning sex?”

“Ugh, I do.” He grumbles to himself before clearing his throat, “But no, next month.”

You can’t believe you were actually haggling how long to wait until you guys have sex again. “Next week.”

“[Y/N]! I don’t want to screw this up. I want to properly date you and--”

“You know, I’m not wearing a bra.” You casually interrupt him, his eyes shamelessly dropping to your chest as he stops mid-sentence.

“Yeah, sure, next week sounds good.” He breathes out.

Victoriously, you tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “It’s a deal then. But,” You take his hand, “Can we please cuddle and go to sleep? It’s almost two and I’m not letting you break your back on my couch.”

He laughs, agreeing to your idea and lets you lead him to your room. Once there, he lets go of your hand to remove his pants so he could comfortably sleep in his boxers while you climbed onto the bed. When he finally slips in beside you, he turns you over so your back was pressed against his front.

You quietly greet each other a good night before letting the silence take over.

-

a/n: aaand that’s the end pls don’t ask for more. but also, i had a lot of plots for this last installment lol i’ll be working on another Jaehyun request (smut) and a Doyoung request (fluff) tomorrow so watch out for those.

[nethersphereadventure]

Day 1182

Okay so I already done fucked this so let's go again here reee to deleting things.

It's been 3 1/4 years since I started this and so much has changed. Let's start at the beginning shall we. Last time we were here I was stressing about exam results and my place in the world. Here's my thoughts kinda ordered but also really not.

Leaving home; Well, the first and biggest event was leaving home to go live w my dad. Tbh I think the less said the better

Relationship; My longtime crush asked my out and I was crazy enough to not initially accept him! We all went together as family members to go see Cosmo Sheldrake which was incredible multigenerational experience even if I was exhausted

Swimming; This was not the greatest of days. I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't even get out of bed to go on a day I'd really looked forward to with my 2 best friends. I think I worried them but just ghosting out but I was really touched how they completely turned my day around. It was also during that period which we absolutely abused free cinema tickets to go see mamma Mia 2 and into the fade (weird German movie)

We got Harry and Peter

Prom, picnic: I'd had my hair and nails done with mog and it was insanely hot. well it all started with morrigan and finn coming over to watch the handmaiden. They stayed the night and it was lovely but I felt like absolute garbage the next day, which was when we were supposed to go on a picnic but I ended up on my dad's bathroom floor for most of the day. I still felt a bit woozy the day after for prom but I just had to keep drinking and I was okay despite nearly flashing many people including my tutor and head of year. I stayed at mogs but didn't go to the after party bc of the obvious shiteness. I had a lovely or not so lovely chat with finn on the floor. We all eventually passed out in a spoon train only to be awoken by Joanna throwing malteasers at us through the window.

Budapest; this meant I ended up going to London twice in about 3 days. The first trip was with finn and Dom to go see flight of the conchords. It was fantastic. Then came the trip to buda. We travelled to Lucy's House where we had amazing pizza and a fitful night's sleep. Then caught a taxi and an insanely early bus to Heathrow. We made it and the ended up having to pelt across Munich. When we arrived in buda the first mishap was Radley getting yeeted off of the bus by the driver and they had to sneak back on. Then we went to our lovely apartment and then did all the usual things of sightseeing, looking at museums, going to the baths and ruin bars as well as cat cafes. The house of terror and the hospital in the rock were really amazing experiences. Also surprisingly there were some really cool thrift stores! Then we came back and ended up getting stuck at Heathrow by missing our bus by like 2 minutes. Luckily radleys dad picked us up for the long journey back home.

Our birthday happened at some point maybe hereish?

Exam results; I was insanely stressed about these. I couldn't sleep the night before. Morrigan messaged me in the morning to say she'd gotten her results before ucas was technically supposed to open so of course I checked. I was able to tell my dad before we even left the house and he cried. We met my mum down at school to collect my actual results and then went for tea. I got a monkey card which was honestly the most exciting thing.

Greenman; we actually had tent poles this time and I married an alien.

Camping; we met up with some people we haven't met up with for ages and we basically had freedom to fuck around in Lyme Regis and the surrounding areas. I got a load of cool free badges from a vintage shop owner because I helped him sort them. There were so many other cursed shops it was great especially the penny arcade where we spent a lot of our time. Also I lost the end of my toe to a wall in Lyme Regis which was real exciting. On our way back the worst happened and I had to pee in someone's driveway.

Greenbelt; I've already kinda talked about this but I've never been to a place where I know so many artists. It was so nice to be independent but also have a great time with my dad and rest of the family. It was the first time we'd been there alone for a very very long time.

Uni prep; this was wild and I couldn't do it and kinda had a breakdown which included spreading my stuff all over the living room. Finn came over and calmed me down so much.

Coming to uni; my dad brought me up here to Manchester with all my badly packed stuff. We moved in and he gave me this real cute necklace and painting which made me cry which set him off. We set up my room and he left. I just sat down and didn't know what to do with myself. So I did the thing only a normal person would do and knock on every single door in my block in the hope that someone would answer and one person did! It was Emily. I felt so awkward the first time just like sat with her. Luckily I encouraged her to go around again and I met more people. When my family came up to see me we even dragged Dan and Albert out with us.

Freshers; this was incredible. I met so many people at jcr events in Vickies. It was so sweaty and crowded. There were two biggish events for me. The first one was the palaver of deansgate takeover. I forgot my ID. I tried to take the bus back but it took me to the wrong accommodation. Then found somebody willing to buy me an uber and come to my accommodation where we luckily picked up chloe as well. We then finally made it in. This was the night I met Gabriel. Secondly was the night I boycott the festival and met up with randoms in Plymouth . It was great fun even if we don't really talk. However this was all a little marred by Finns breakdown at freshers. We were all so worried.

First semester was just a time of getting familiar with everything and messing around, learning how uni and essays worked. I went to Swansea to surprise Finns for the weekend and he almost cried. Also travelling back from mogs at 2am we just got left by the bus driver which was interesting to say the least.

Christmas and New year: this was a crazy time, we had a really nice few Christmas days. The first actual one was with mum. We basically just ate and watched TV throughout the day. Then there was one where we met up with the cousins which was indeed lovely. Grandma went into hospital on new year's eve, we kinda knew it was the beginning of the end. This meant my entire new year's was nervous but I felt surrounded by friends still.

Now. The here and now. Everything this still crazy. I feel a load closer with my flatmates. We've laughed, cried and gotten drunk. We've danced all night and done all manners of dumb shit. There's been love and slightly less anger. We had an amazing dinner dance the other night and it was truly fantastic to be there with people. After was a also really good fun and we cuddled together until about 7am. Beside my flatmates I've met many great people through our Friday drinks. Aurora, zillion, luke, Danny, jess, gabby and karin etc. I've also got to see kash, aoife and phoebe again. Finn came to see me in Manchester for an entire week so he also met them. It snowed loads and was wonderful. We cooked, slept, messed around, watched films whatever and it was great.

The future-- for me in the short term its relatively simple. I just need to write essays and pass my classes and it's all gucci. However the day after tomorrow is brexit and the who really knows?

[brokemultidotexe]

Unexpected Pt.19

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: You never expected your trip to Seoul to end up like it does. You didn’t expect to step off the plane and have coffee pour down your shirt. You also didn’t expect the guy to offer to show you around the city. You notice things about him that don’t quite make sense, like how he shows interest but will only see you when he has the time which is at random hours during the day and night. Who knew your only friend in Seoul would turn out to be an international star and just how difficult things could get.

Word Count: 2.6k

Warning: None

Genre: Romance/Friendship

Part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 6.5 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 10.5 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 14.5 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |

“He knows you’re avoiding him Y/N. He’s not stupid, he knows that you know about the video and he’s freaking out.” Jimin sighed.

You shifted your phone from one shoulder to the other as you spread peanut butter on a slice of bread, “I know he is. He’s been blowing up my phone but I told him this was one thing I was worried about. I don’t belong in your world Jimin and I told him I didn’t want this type of thing to happen.”

“He’s already gone to Bang PD. They’ve pulled the video and replaced it with a version that blurred out the both of you in the background. You’re making this out to be worse than it is. I’ve seen the video there is no way that anyone would be able to tell it’s you.” You set the bread and the knife down on the counter and grabbed your cellphone with your hand and switched to the other ear and walking out of the kitchen.

“Jackson knew.” You pointed out.

“Because he knows that you hang out with us so you can’t go based off of one person. Look, neither of you are in trouble because you didn’t do anything wrong. Yeah he told you guys to be careful and try not to be on camera and you could see when you guys realized you were in frame and you left. The editing team should have caught it and blurred it out in the first place.” You heard a noise in the background and you heard a muffled voice that you couldn’t understand.

“Yeah that’s fine. Let me just finish up here and then I’ll come get you.” You stayed quiet knowing that he wasn’t talking to you but whoever had come into the room. “I’m talking to my mom, I’ll be done in a minute.” You felt instant crushing guilt knowing that he was now talking to JK and he was having to lie to him.

You heard the door closed on his side and you instantly apologized, “I’m so sorry you had to lie.”

“Y/N I won’t lie to him again.”

“I don’t expect you to.”

“He just found out our tour date was pushed up and he looks like he’s about to lose it, so I’m asking you to please put him first right now and deal whatever you have to at another time.” You were kind of shocked at Jimin’s request but you also knew that Jimin was really close with JK and probably knew exactly what he was thinking and probably a million other things you had yet to learn about him.

“Okay.” You whispered.

“Look, I need to go check on him but I really hope you’ll reach out to him today.” The two of you said your goodbyes and he hung up the phone and you stood there feeling ten times worse than you did before you talked to Jimin.

You could admit to yourself than in your panic you may have over reacted and you were trying to figure out how you truly felt about the situation. You had a bad habit of closing yourself off when you tried working through something and you kept hurting JK in the process which was never your intent. Jimin was right about you putting JK first. JK constantly put you first at every given moment and you were too afraid to do the same because a fear of getting hurt. You looked at the front door and sighed knowing what you had to do.

Agreeing to the total of the Uber made you die a little inside after seeing what it cost to get you from your apartment to the groups apartment complex. It took you a little bit to even find the address because JK had only taken you there once and it was just for him to run in and grab something and come back out. You knew which building and which apartment number it was but you had never actually been to their apartment even though you had received the invitation many times. You and JK had always opted to just stay at your place.

Your heart was hammering in your chest as you got out of the elevator on their floor and walked to the door of their apartment. You stood there and stared at the door trying to get up the courage to just knock on it. Your hand hovered in front of it for a second before knocking your knuckles against it. You felt incredibly nervous even though you had no reason to feel that way. You were about to knock again but the door swung open and your eyes met Namjoon’s.

“Y/N?” He seemed a little confused to see you standing there. But your eyes fell to the head that popped out around the corner. Jimin smiled at you and walked towards you and Namjoon.

“I’ve got it hyung. She’s here to see Jungkook.” When the words left Jimin’s mouth it looked like everything clicked and he gave you an appreciative smile.

“I’m glad you’re going to talk it out.” Your mind went back to the first time you had met the group and he had asked that instead of shutting JK out to please talk to him instead. Knowing you had shut him out at first made you feel guilty even though you were on your way to fixing it.

Namjoon stepped aside and Jimin motioned you to follow him. He led you to a door at the far end of the hallway and stopped in front of it where the door was cracked. “Thank you.” The sincerity in his voice made you nod. JK was lucky to have his brothers because they all cared for him so much. You didn’t have any siblings but you could tell they all cared very deeply for one another and took care of each other. Jimin gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze before leaving you standing alone in front of JK’s bedroom door.

You took a deep breath and knocked on the door and opening it a little bit to see JK sitting at a desk that was under his bed with a million different things on it. “Hyung, I’m not in the mood.”

“Should I leave then?” You asked quietly.

JK’s head whipped around to look at you. Jimin wasn’t exaggerating because JK looked like hell. Only a day had passed since the video incident but it looked like the whole situation had made him age five years. “Y/N.” He seemed shocked to see you standing there.

“Can I come in?” you chewed your bottom lip a habit you had when you felt extremely nervous.

“Yeah.” He stood up quickly so you could take the computer chair but you just sat on a mini fridge tucked off to the side that was across from him. JK’s room was nothing like you imagined it. He wasn’t lying when he said he had a lot of things and his bedroom was cluttered. There were things everywhere but the room suited him. You could see evidence of his hobbies littered around his room.

JK was the first to break the silence between you once he sat back down, “I tried calling—“

“I know.” You said softly.

“I talked to Bang—“

“I know.” You gave him a small smile.

“If you know then why did you avoid me?” He seemed hurt and confused.

“I talked to Jimin this morning and he told me about you going to Bang PD and having them fix the video and I appreciate that.”

“Of course. I know how you feel about the whole thing Y/N. I promised you I would do everything I could to shield you from anyone knowing about you. I plan to stick to that promise. I know I’m already asking a lot from you because I want to be selfish and I don’t take a single second I have with you for granted. You’re important to me.”

You sighed, “I know that JK.”

“If you know that then what would make you think I wouldn’t fix it as soon as I found out about it?” you could hear the frustration in his voice and it made you feel guilty.

“It’s not like that at all JK, it’s not that I don’t think you would fix it. But see it from my point of view, okay? Something that was between just the two of us was suddenly on the internet and it wasn’t just a few people that saw it. Your YouTube channel has millions of subscribers JK and a cut of that video was already making its rounds on Twitter. Hell I mean Jackson called me to tell me to go look at the video. Do you have any idea how weird it felt? That people were seeing something that should have only been between the two of us? Or suddenly the girl your with has your fans already trying to figure out who it is. I’m a normal girl from America that doesn’t even live in a city so yeah the whole thing was overwhelming and it freaked me out and I just needed to catch my footing because I wasn’t prepared to deal with it.” You felt your body sag after getting your explanation out. “It has nothing to do with what I think about you or anything like that. It’s just the whole thing in general. Sometimes I forget about how much of your life the public cares about.”

JK reached out and grabbed your hand and tugged you towards him. You stood up and he pulled you over and pulled you onto his lap. Your legs hung over the arm of the chair and you melted into him your head resting against his chest while he wrapped his arms around you. The two of you stayed like that for a while, “They moved up the tour date.” His voice was barely above a whisper, “because of some scheduling conflicts they’ve had to start it earlier than planned.”

“So when do you start?”

“Less than a month.”

You sat up and looked at him, “What? How do they go from 3 months out to less than a month?” It felt like the floor had just disappeared under you because you felt your stomach drop. You had it in your mind that you still had a few months left not a few weeks. You weren’t ready to give him up yet.

“I don’t know. We have a meeting tomorrow to find out the exact departure date but they dropped that information on us a few hours ago.” Jimin’s change of tone after JK had come into his room now made sense because suddenly the two of you had a lot less time and wasting it over a stupid video wasn’t worth it.

Jungkook tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, “I’m not ready for this.” you whispered. Your brain was still processing and you felt panicked and it felt like someone was clutching your heart in their fist.

“Hey, we’ll figure something out. We don’t have to figure it out right now though. I just want you here with me. That’s all I care about right now.” He had gently grabbed your chin to look at him and the way he looked at you made your heart race but feel like it was shattering all at the same time. When he dropped his hand it looked like he wanted to say something and you waited for him to say it but whatever it was it looked like he was battling himself pretty hard. “Would you stay?” the question confused you and he could tell so he went on. “Would you stay here with me tonight....instead of you going back to your apartment?”

You felt yourself nodding before you had even fully processed his request but part of you didn’t want to leave.  A month wasn’t long and you wanted to make sure you could spend as much time with him as possible.”Yeah, of course.”

He smiled and pulled you towards him and kissed you lightly on your temple and whispered a quick thank you in your ear. You gave his arm a reassuring squeeze while he still had his arms wrapped around you. You continued to sit on his lap with your legs dangling off the armrest and JK’s arms wrapped tightly around you keeping you close to his body.

You weren’t sure how long it had been before he suggested going to lay down on his bed. You slid off his lap and realized you didn’t have any clothes to sleep in. “Umm...JK.” he turned to look at you, “I don’t have anything to sleep in.” He walked over to his closet and you saw a bunch of white tshirts hanging up. He grabbed one and then pulled out some joggers and handed them to you.

“I’ll wait outside, just open the door when you’re done.” he kissed your forehead and left you alone in his room. You took the moment to look around. His room was packed with a million different things. He had recording stuff and photography stuff. You couldn’t even comprehend it all. You slipped on the clothes he gave you and his scent enveloped you. You sighed as emotions built up in your chest. You weren’t ready for him to leave yet and you didn’t know how you would handle any of it. You knew you couldn’t dwell on it because it would only make the time you had left depressing. Once you had yourself situated you opened the door and you saw Jimin talking with JK. They both looked at you once you opened the door and Jimin smirked seeing you in JK’s clothes and you felt your face heat up.

JK left Jimin and walked towards you with a smile on his face and closed the door after he stepped into his bedroom. He stood at the bottom of the ladder and motioned for you to go ahead and climb up. You couldn’t remember the last time you had to climb a latter to get to a bed. You had a bunk bed when you were younger but it felt weird climbing into one as an adult. You scooted across the bed once you were up there and JK followed right behind you after turning off the light making the only source of light a lamp to the side of you. The two of you slid back and he laid down and pulled you with him so you were laying on his chest. You would have thought that you would feel awkward or incredibly nervous about spending the night with him and sharing a bed, but it didn’t feel weird at all if anything it felt right. 

“We’ll make the most of the time we have left before our tour, I promise. You’ll be sick of me by the end of it.” His fingers were running through your hair.

“If there’s one thing i’m sure of, it’s that I’ll never be sick of you.” You curled into his side as the warmth of his body caused you to scoot even closer to him which you weren’t sure was even possible. The one thing running through your mind before you fell asleep was how you were going to make it through him leaving.

AN: I was originally going to post this tomorrow but since tomorrow is my birthday i figured i would gift you guys as well. I hope this chapter gives everyone some type of feeling. Their days are numbered and they’re making the most of what they have. I love you all and i hope you enjoyed!

[malloryrunsthis]

Race Recap: Glass City Marathon

When I look back at this marathon, most of what I remember is the before and the after. 

As we all know--because I have nattered on about it ENDLESSLY--I went into this race feeling under trained and injured. I took off from running for three full weeks to let my hip heal up. I ran six miles the Thursday before and then another three on Friday. I spent endless hours at the pool and in spin class to try to keep my fitness up. In the end, it sort of worked? You tell me.

Because I went in not feeling like I was 100% even going to run, I took a pretty lackadaisical approach to the whole weekend. I barely looked up anything in Toledo other than the address of the airbnb, I sort of threw random running gear into my bag the night before my flight and realized that I had lost my Body Glide and water bottles.”Oh well,” I thought, “I’m sure the expo will have some,” Thank God I had thought to buy gels, “just in case.”

Basically, I turned from a type-A into a type-Z person in the space of 24 hours and it was very weird.

I flew into Detroit on Saturday morning and ubered up to @elkay723​‘s parents’ house where I met the lovely @er1nruns​ and @goaldengoats​! Unfortunately for them, I was sort of tired from my early flight so I think I was in a little bit of zombie mode. 

We headed out to Toledo in the early afternoon and over to the expo. It was small and cozy but luckily there was a vendor selling Body Glide and a little magnetic bottle I could attach to my running belt! I was saved! It was at the expo where I really decided, “okay, I’m going to do this and just see what happens.” I mean, I was there already, right? And people have run marathons on way less training (so I told myself).

After the expo, we grabbed lunch at a brewery and then headed to the airbnb. 

Oh the airbnb. I am shamed, I can never book a place again. It ended up being in a not-great neighborhood which was unnerving. Additionally, the third bedroom had replaced it’s “queen bed” with an air mattress. Which I thought was going to be fine until I tried sleeping on it. Reader, it was not fine. It was COLD and very uncomfortable.

 So basically, I ended up compounding a little sleep deprivation from the night before with a LOT of sleep deprivation. But I did get about four hours of sleep before it was time to get up and GO!

I had brought some throwaways with me that I wore to the starting line, including a pair of knee high socks to wear as arm warmers. I ended up dropping my pants and sweatshirt before the race even started and the socks got thrown during my first mile. It wasn’t warm yet but it wasn’t cold enough either.

My race plan was to stick with the 3:30 pacer until I couldn’t anymore. I had trained for a 3:20 but I knew that was totally out of the question given the condition I felt I was in. Even a 3:30 was going to be pushing it but I figured I could at least try to hit somewhere around there and be happy. 

The first few miles passed quickly. The pace group I was in was VERY chatty. It was a good distraction although I did wonder if those people were so good they could keep that up all race or if they would eventually stop. I started feeling tired in mile three which was annoying but it was better than feeling hurt!

It was around mile 7, I think, that the split for the half marathon runners came up. I debated with myself if I should take it or keep going. My body was feeling okay though, and I had my phone on my in case I dropped out later, so I kept going.

The course was flat and wound around the nicer neighborhoods before going into a park. Inside the park, we hit a split that said Lap 1 and pointed right with Lap 2 pointing left so I knew that I was going to come through the area again. After the park, around mile 10, we hit an open road and that’s where the headwinds started. It wasn’t bad but it was noticeably harder to keep my pace up which was discouraging as I felt mile 10 was way too early for me to feel like this was hard.

By mile 16 the chatter around me had stopped but I hit a sort of second wind which was nice. I also told myself, just one hard tempo run left! At this point, I felt pretty good, if tired, and thought that I might actually pull off a little bit of a miracle. 

Alas, it was not to be. When we entered the park again we hit some sort of slats and did a sort of zig-zagging and that’s when I started fading. By mile 21, my legs were starting to feel really sore and that’s when I knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep up with the pace group anymore. 

Those last five miles were some of the longest and hardest miles I think I’ve run in a long time. But I knew, if I stopped, I wouldn’t be able to keep going. I tried walking through aid stations and almost toppled over at one point. So I just had to shuffle along.

The last mile and a half wind you through the University of Toledo’s campus to the finish at the stadium. Of course, you can HEAR the finish line the entire time. I literally considered cutting the parking lot just to be done (I KNOW. I DIDN’T). 

As we came up towards the stadium. I did my best to punch up the run a little. Then I heard someone who was already wearing a medal say something like: “don’t try to go faster, you’re almost done, you can’t do anything anymore.” or similar. WTF DUDE. Thanks for your TERRIBLE and really condescending advice?

Finally, finally, I came up into the stadium, heard the announcer say my name and did my best to not walk until I was over the finish line. Erin and Sarah came down cheering and screaming my name and I don’t think I could even talk to them. My legs were stiff as boards and every. single. part. of my body hurt. I just tried to walk it off as best as I could. I forced myself to drink some water but there was no way I could eat.

Unfortunately, my death hobble around made me miss @elkay723‘s PR FINISH! INCREDIBLE! Both she and @er1nruns got to ring the PR bell that day!

(stolen from @goaldengoats)

Once we had all recovered somewhat, we headed to the airbnb to shower and get the hell outta there. Brunch was when I regained my appetite--probably helped by the delicious avocado toast I had there. 

Then, the social part of the weekend wound down. Erin and Sarah had to fly back home and I was dropped off at the airport hotel. 

After all that, I think I went to bed around 8:30. I had a 4am wake up anyways because of course, I am a masochist and had to make sure I could work a full day the next morning.

It literally took me a full five days to walk like a normal human again. I made my boyfriend carry my luggage up the stairs to the bedroom. I have NEVER been so sore in my life. 

In the end, I’m both really proud and disappointed in myself. On the one hand. I can’t believe I pulled off not even my worst marathon time but also a tiny BQ! On the other hand, that was not the experience or time that I had trained for and unfortunately, my time is not going to get me into Boston in 2019.

I don’t want to try to PR again this year. I think NYC is going to be too crowded for a PR and I don’t want to run three marathons in one year. So, the goal is to stop getting injured and try again next year.

Here are the stats!

[seecourtneytravel]

October 3rd and 4th, 2018 (Wednesday & Thursday)

Teaching and Cebu. Cebu was epic!

Both of these days I feel like putting into one writing. I’m sure you all are getting tired of reading my day to day posts that have been a week off so here’s a way I can catch up. I was able to miss a day at both TabonTabon and LPH for teaching which was a nice break.

I met up with Jude to head to Northern Tacloban high school to teach basic life support to 9th, 10th, and 11th grade kids. I didn’t know what to expect and didn’t know if the kids would grasp the concept or understand me speaking semi fast English. I had 40 minutes to talk about cpr, drowning, and choking in the baby and the adult. I think I made a world record class in timing. I talked loud and fast.

The room would fill up with about 30 kids, they were all in uniform and I think they gave me the time of day because I was someone different. When I told them I was from New York everyone in the class “oooo” and “ahhhhh” ‘d. Then I would show them pictures of my friends back home who were American but Chinese and Filipino in appearance. They were confused why they were in the United States. I felt like that in itself was a great exposure point. When I was about to show them how far I lived from NYC in the next slide, I soon realized that all the work I did the previous day didn’t save. It was okay because I still had 40 slides.

The first class, I was feeling nervous and not really knowing how my timing would be. To get through the slides and demonstration in 40 min was tough. I had the principal in the back watching my teachings as well which was nerve wrecking. He didn’t know what Basic life support was either so maybe he learned a thing or two.

After teaching the kids ABC’s (airway breathing and circulation) and responding in the order of CAB, I would demonstrate on my water gallon the steps of CPR. The kids were very shy and were not used to me being so loud and forcing them to demonstrate. I would give them test questions along the way and a chance to demonstrate. I gave random candies that I think really helped keep them in focus. Sometimes it was obvious when they didn’t understand, but demonstration and numbers they picked up quick. They especially liked when j started singing “ah-ah-ah-ah stayin’ alive stayin’ alive” singing.

After five classes back to back to back I was pouring sweat it was embarrassing. I was also losing my voice. The volunteer for the visayans worker Rico was at standby watching my presentations and taking pictures. Jude had left after the first class.

On my way back, when I left from a multicab to a jeepney I had my phone on my lap that only dropped when I went from hunched to standing as I was getting out of the vehicle. My phone went flying forward landing face down. Some bystandard called me over and picked it up for me. The scary moment when they are about to reveal the front of your phone to you happened and it happened to be my worst nighmare. He turned my phone over and it was super smashed. But the touch screen still worked.

I went directly to Robinson’s mall to see how much it would cost to repair. I went to five different stores who either said no or they didn’t have it in stock for my iPhone 6+. Finally I found a real phone repair spot that said it would cost 6,500 pasos. That’s like $110. Pretty expensive but also they typically don’t have iPhones here. My second concern was if they fixed it would they put a shitty screen on it that’s not compatible.

I went home and was all sad about my phone. I had dinner then headed out to see Ronja and Jacob at cafe Lucia. I was so burnt out from the day I almost didn’t want to go but it was the last time I would see my volunteer friends. They will be on vacation for several weeks in the upcoming weekend.

We went out and called and had our usual relaxing time at the cafe. Ronja and Jacob had their usual San Miguel light, I as some kind of smoothie. We all walked home and we said or goodbyes. I’m not usually good at goodbyes because in my head I intend to see that person again in the near future. Even if I might not ever see them again. The truth is you will never know!

The next day, Thursday, I taught 6 classes of BLS. I had packed my bags already for Cebu and had to leave to the airport right after dinner. The six classes had me actually lose my voice, it sounded hoarse and more manly than usual. It’s absolutely exhausting teaching the same thing over and over again. But I believe, even if they didn’t get everything I was explaining, the exposure of the class is what is important. The class teaching and lecture is actually what has made me feel I’ve made the most difference in my volunteering and it felt like it was the hardest I worked during my stay here in the Philippines.

As I headed home it was nearing 5pm. My flight was at 820pm. I had dinner and had some more fine tune packing for my 3 night adventure in Cebu. I stayed in contact with my friend Kevin I met in Guiuan at the ABCD surf camp. He advised me about staying at hostel 7, saying he was a friend of the owners.

I booked at hostel 7, was super appreciative of Kevin’s advice. I told him my flight itinerary and he said he would

Meet me at the hostel. I was pretty shocked he was actually going to meet me at the hostel, it made my trip right away not feel so solo.

I made my way to the airport and my nanay walked me o where to wait for the jeepney. I had already known but she is always worried I would take a wrong turn or get on the wrong bus. I let her show me but felt bad because I knew how far away it was. I kept trying to send her back home and she insisted.

I got to the airport with plenty of time to spare. Once we took off the flight would only take 30 minutes. “Ms.Bishop, I have your ordered meal.” The flight attendant handed me a sandwich and a drink. I didn’t remember ordering a meal… but I wasn’t complaining.

I had the company of a woman from the states who was visiting her friends and family in the Philippines. She made the fast flight even faster.

After getting out I ordered a grab car, I didn’t trust the taxi’s, a lot of them had a really creepy presentation about them. I waited for 20 minutes before I cancelled and got another grab car. It works the same as uber at home but not really as efficient. After waiting another 15 minutes my grab car made it through the long taxi line. I texted Kevin I was on my way. He said he had already arrived at the hostel.

After almost thirty minutes, I made it to Hostel 7. It was very sociable, people were already drunk, laughing and singing. From the outside it looked very modern and inviting. Right in the doorway was Kevin who was talking to the DJ. I gave him a warm hello hug, it was great to say I had friends that would come hang out when I come i their hometown or city. Sometimes it’s hard to get friends to drive down the street to hang out. The check in desk was also right there, I checked in and was shown my room.

I was given the choice of what bed to pick and I picked the bed directly next to someone on the top bunk. Why I did that I don’t know, maybe I thought the top bunk was the best bunk but I forgot it’s not. I met my bunkmate Prince who was from the Philippines but in town for a few days on vacation. He said he was meeting a guy on a date but he was stood up. I invited to come down for some socializing or to have a drink if he felt like it, he said maybe.

I went back outside and hung out with Kevin. He bought my first drink which was a refreshing gesture. We awaited his friend the owner to come through the door. After about 20 more minutes, the owner came in by his car with his 6ft tall French girlfriend who was really sweet. They dated for the year she has been in the Philippines and now she will be leaving to Australia.

The owners name is Michael. He is extremely personable and knows how to mingle and get crowds together. Kevin, Michael and I sat at a free picnic table outside and socialized over a few drinks. After sharing a few laughs, Michael quickly changes paths and asks, “Have you ever tried Bolut!?!”

Kevin encouraged me to try it. What was funny is that Kevin and Michael both didn’t want it at the time but was super eager for me to try it. For the experience of course.

The internet definition of Balut is “A developing bird embryo that is boiled and eaten from the shell. It originated from and is commonly sold as street food in the Philippines. Often served with beer, balut is popular in Southeast Asian countries, such as Laos, Cambodia, Thailand and Vietnam.”

I guess I can check this off my bucket list. For the record, I do not recommend eating Balut when you’re trying to impress a guy. It is not attractive and leads to many high fives and friend zoned.

A little bit after the Balut, we headed over to the somewhat noisier crowd and tried to pass the Balut on to other foreigners. Michael was telling people “she’s a vegan and she did it!” While pointing to me. They knew that was an absolute lie and still refused. I’ll never forget the noises this gay Filipino man made while eating it haha he made it sound as bad as I made it look.

After a little bit more socializing I headed back to my dorms. I met a few more dorm mates. One from Vancouver Canada and another from England. Both solo traveling around but not really solo like myself. Always running into people on the same path.

I fell asleep pretty hard, had my ear plugs in and eye mask on. In my 8 bed dorm, some asshole turned off the air conditioning and I woke up at like 7AM boiling in my bed. The heat was unbearable. I asked someone who was on the lower level to turn it back on. I stayed in bed until my body temperature regulated.

[yeomangamer]

After My Father’s Funeral Chapter 3

Summary: Funerals can be stressful, but so can weddings–especially with a family as effed up as theirs. Unfortunately for Leia, she has both to attend in one go. So much for repression. Modern AU

Pairings: Leia/Han, Mara/Luke, Jyn/Cassian, Leia&Han&Luke&Mara&Cassian&Jyn, Uncle Owen/Aunt Beru

Chapter summary: Leia and Han continue to butt heads. How many times does she have to meet this prick?

Chapter Pairings: Mara/Luke, Jyn/Cassian, Mara&Leia, Han/Leia

A/N: Thanks for all the support, please check out the FFN and Ao3 versions for full author’s notes.

The wedding was going to take place on Uncle Owen's farm, and Mara wanted to show Leia where everything was going to be. Leia wasn't too perturbed by the tour taking place quite early on a Friday morning, she was an early riser anyway. Every morning at 6:30 she got up for a run, got her breakfast, and headed to work. The latter was replaced on her vacation with either lounging around the Lars' residence or working on the small amount of work she'd been able to bring with her. She'd found early on that a steadfast routine—while monotonous to some—was one of her only anchors in a turbulent world. She'd found very little in the way of permanent closure, but dammit if she couldn't get through a day.

That day she'd gotten a bit of a late start, but it didn't matter; she didn't have anything else to do but wish she was spending her (probably only) vacation someplace with beaches and hotter guys—at least ones that don't race. Mara was waiting for her when she got back from her run, along with Luke and someone she had hoped to file away under "bad encounters." She wasn't sure what Han Solo was doing here, but she knew it wasn't good.

"Leia, care for some eggs?" Aunt Beru asked her, and she politely declined.

That smirk was back as Solo eyed her up and down. "Couldn't help but notice you're driving a 2017 TIE, not bad."

Leia set her hands on her hips and stared at him for a second, at a loss for words. "Its a rental. I don't have a car."

Solo seemed shocked by this. "Really, how do you get around in that big city then?"

Leia shrugged. "Walk, take the bus. Sometimes Uber or I carpool."

Solo shook his head. "You should get a car. Now, I know a guy selling-"

"If I wanted a car, I would go to my local dealership and buy one, not buy some junker off of a random." Leia was not in the mood for this, her routine was off and she had not anticipated this encounter.

Solo shook his head. "This car is not a junker, far from it. I admit it might need some work done, but-"

"Let me guess, you know a guy."

"Yeah, me. I'd help you with any of your car troubles, sweetheart." His grin was back.

Leia winced at the nickname. "This is the problem with you Naboo guys, you're obsessed. You only look at girls because your cars don't have tits. I'm surprised some sucker hasn't done that yet, or maybe he's just worried you'll stick it in the tailpipe!" A noise made her glance over and she realized that Mara and Luke were barely holding back their laughter.

"What's so funny‽" She demanded.

"You two," Mara said, wiping her eyes. "C'mon, Leia."

"Why is he even here?" Leia demanded.

Luke cleared his throat. "He's- he's my best man."

Leia's whole body went rigid as she stared incredulously at her brother, already dreading every single encounter she was going to have with this man.

"You've rendered her speechless, kid," Solo said, still smirking, causing her to redirect her icy gaze to him. He didn't even flinch.

"C'mon, Leia," Mara said again, and Leia turned to follow her.

"Oh, princess, before you go." Leia stopped but refused to look back. "You may be right about 'Naboo guys'-"

"Hey!" Luke protested.

"-but I'm from Corellia. Nice to see you again." He sounded like this small distinction meant a world of difference, but it did little to sway her opinion. Leia stormed out after Mara, catching up with her just outside of the house.

"He's always been like that, ever since I've known him," Mara said, catching Leia's look.

"How do you stand him?"

"He's better once you get to know him. He can be a real great guy." Mara chuckled at her groan. "Just don't let him know he's getting to you, he'll only pick on you if it bothers you."

Mara showed her the place where the pavilion where they'd be having the ceremony as well as where they'd have the reception. "The old barn is the rain plan, but we're hoping it won't come to that. You can only get those places so clean. And sorry again for not having you as a bridesmaid, we decided simpler was better and I figured you'd want to be on Luke's side anyway."

"Don't worry about it. So long as I'm sitting by someone nice, I'll be fine." When Mara didn't say anything, Leia groaned. "Not him, anyone but him."

"Sorry, but we want the same number of people on both sides, for pictures, you know? And Han doesn't have a date and Jyn is sitting with Cassian."

"Is there an open bar at least?"

Mara laughed, and nodded. "It was Luke's one request for the reception. He said he didn't care where it would be or how many people would be there, he just wanted you to be there and an open bar." The two walked side by side back to the house. Leia was dreading another encounter with Solo, but she hoped that maybe he'd left.

"You're back," Luke commented from the couch. He and Solo seemed to be drinking coffee and watching a race.

Leia avoided Solo's gaze, and made to go back to her room.

"The offer for that car still stands, sweetheart," Solo called to her, and she stopped in her tracks.

Don't let me know he's getting to you. She let out a breath and turned around.

"What is it?" she asked.

He smirked and sat up. "An old 1974 Tantive, the 4th in its series."

She crossed her arms. "I thought you said it wasn't a junker."

He chuckled. "It isn't. Its from my pal Lando, he doesn't buy junkers."

Mara scoffed. "He's right, Leia. But Lando also wouldn't tell you about any fatal flaws in the cars either."

Solo assured them that he'd checked out the car himself. That it maybe need some bodywork and a fresh coat of paint, but was, overall, a good buy.

"Isn't that car huge?" Leia asked. "I'd need something more compact. No, I think I'll be fine, thank you anyway, Mr. Solo."

He looked amused. "Mr. Solo is my deadbeat dad, Ms. Skywalker-"

She flinched and snapped. "Organa, my name is Organa, not Skywalker."

He blinked, but barely missed a beat. "My apologies, call me Han."

"Alright, Han. You may call me Leia."

"Oh, may I?"

"Can you two give it a rest?" Mara asked, rubbing her temples.

Leia slipped away to her room, intending to call the office. Maybe they'd had some work they could send over.

She was on the phone with Mothma when Mara poked her head into her room.

"Hold on one second, yeah?" She said to Montha.

"Would you like to go out tonight?" Mara whispered.

"With who? Where?"

"The six of us, you, me, Luke, Jyn, Cassian, and Han. To Jabba's."

Leia sighed. "Yeah, yeah."

"Ok, sorry to bother you." Mara ducked out.

Leia sighed inwardly and went back to talking on the phone.

Leia had remembered the first time she'd gone to Jabba's Hut when she was 19. It had seemed so cool to get past the bouncer with a fake ID Cassian had gotten for her. She'd gotten drunk for the first time there, and had puked in Cassian's car when he brought her home. Things had definitely changed since then. What was once a 21-up bar that sometimes had shows was now a full on club with a DJ, dance floor, and laser light show. Nearly as soon as they had ordered drinks and sat down, the two couples had paired off to go dancing, leaving the two singles behind. Leia expected S- Han to ditch her and start hitting on the locals, which she told him. He shook his head.

"I don't mess around at Jabba's anymore. I'm lucky I was able to get in," he shouted over the music.

"What? Why?" Surprising, to be honest. She straightened her dress over her legs. It wasn't necessarily like what she would've worn to a club in Coruscant, but she had limited options living out of her suitcase. Besides, who was she trying to impress in this town.

"Jabba and I had a- let's say a disagreement awhile back over a sponsorship. It's all smoothed out now, but at the time it was pretty serious." He wasn't looking at her, but staring out at the dance floor. She wasn't sure if he was scouting out potential trouble.

"I didn't even know there was a 'Jabba.'"

"Well of course there's a Jabba, who else would come up with that name?" Leia shrugged at him and sipped her drink. "I'm surprised you're not dancing or looking for a date yourself," Han said.

Leia shook her head. "I thought I made it clear what I thought about Naboo guys. I grew up with some of these people, as far as I'm concerned, they're lucky I even showed up."

Han seemed to laugh. "You graduated with Luke?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I went to Alderaan High up until my junior year, and moved to Tattooine when I was a senior."

Han shook his head. "Alderaan, wow, that's a name I haven't heard of in a while. Tore it down, didn't they?"

She nodded. "Yeah, they claimed structural flaws, but I'm convinced it was bullshit. They just wanted to build that strip mall."

"Must've been hard, moving in your senior year."

She shrugged. "Everyone had to, so I wasn't alone. And after-…well, the Ruling, there wasn't much worse that could be done." She took another sip of her drink. "Besides, I met Cassian, and we dated for a while. Got to spend my senior year with Luke, wasn't all bad."

"You dated Cassian?"

"Yeah, for maybe four or five years."

Han looked shocked. "I never would've thought- huh."

She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest. "What?"

"Nothing, I just-"

"Never would've thought a princess like me would be willing to date someone who relies on DACA?"

"Well, when you say it like that-"

She shook her head. "I might have been like that when I was younger, but things have changed. People change. Now I want to make the world better. Make sure people get their just desserts, might run for DA someday, even."

"Alright, alright, no need to convince me, I might just be some lowly tailpipe fucker, but I wasn't born yesterday." Leia laughed.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here, you two getting along?" Luke shouted as he and Mara slid into the booth next to the two of them.

"A moment of weakness, I assure you," Leia said, not looking at Han.

"C'mon Leia, dance with me," Mara said. "Luke's pussying out."

"Not surprising," Leia said as she moved to get out. "I was shocked he was even willing to come here, it cuts into his usual time of reflection and contemplation."

Luke scoffed, drinking, and she laughed. The two of them danced and even ran into Jyn and Cassian. Cassian went to go get another drink so the three women all danced together. Leia conceded that this was indeed a good time, if it wasn't for the lights flashing and the loud music beginning to give her a migraine. She tried to muscle through it and focus on how Jyn—for the first time since she'd met her—looked like she was having the time of her life. After a few songs, Leia was hot and exhausted. She got some water from the bar and was just about to head back when she felt a strong arm around her.

"Fuck off," she said without thinking.

The intruder laughed. "Maybe, if you buy me a drink first, but how 'bout a dance instead?" She turned to see Han, one arm draped over her shoulder.

"You drunk?" She asked.

He shook his head. "I told you I don't mess around at Jabba's."

"Dancing counts as 'messing around.'"

He shrugged. "I'm not good at following rules, even my own."

"Why is that not surprising? I'd really rather sit down, I'm starting to get a headache."

He followed her back to the booth where Mara and Luke were swaying to the rhythm in their seats. The song playing was one of the slower songs that night.

"Oh, Leia, Han, will you sit with the table so we can dance? Its our song," Mara asked emphatically.

"Yeah of course." The two of them sat down as the couple got up to dance.

Han and Leia sat in relative silence until the song was over, and there was a small reprieve from the music.

"I should show you my car," Han said.

"What?" Leia asked, even though she'd heard what he'd said. He took out his phone, an older smartphone with a screen cracked nearly beyond repair. He showed her some pictures flipping through some before and afters, and telling her about the history of the '63 Falcon. It was hard to tell what Leia was looking at exactly with the cracked screen, and it was hard to hear over the music and her pounding head. She merely nodded and said "yeah" whenever seemed necessary, hoping this conversation wouldn't go on forever.

"So you'll come tomorrow?" He asked and she blinked.

Leia had no idea what he was talking about. "Sure, where at? What time?"

He gave her the address and she put it into her calendar under "Solo Thing" at 8 am. She could barely think of Han getting up before 11, but she could barely think at all at this moment.

"You weren't kidding about that headache, you look awful," Han said.

"I bet you say that to all the girls."

"Only the cute ones." Leia was pretty sure he winked, but she couldn't tell at this point.

"I think I need to go home." She rubbed her temples, not sure if she should surrender her fate into the hands of a man who she'd only recently become on speaking terms with.

"Say no more, sweetheart." He stood and made his way over to the dance floor, hopefully to find Luke so he could take her home. She felt bad to ruin her brother's good time, but she was beginning to feel sick.

It was Jyn and Cassian who came to the table, not Luke.

"Sorry you're not feeling well." Cassian sounded about as remorseful as he could over the music, which was quite a bit considering. "Do you need a ride home?"

"Taken care of," Han said. "I already texted Luke, but I couldn't find him. Tell him I'm taking her home."

"Ok, but make sure it's her own, ok?" Cassian asked. "I don't think you want to know what'll happen if its not."

"Guys, I'm having a migraine, he didn't roofie me," Leia protested. Cassian held up both his hands in surrender

Han led her out of the building and over to the parking lot where an old black sedan sat.

"Is this the Falcon?" Leia asked.

Han gave her a look, but didn't call her out for not paying attention to his small spiel. "No, this is a 2005 TIE, a commercial car, alegally drivable on the roads. The Falcon is for racing."

"Oh, that's disappointing." Leia got into the passenger seat, curling up under her seatbelt.

"Don't worry, you'll see the Falcon tomorrow. That is, if you're feeling up to it." He got into the driver's seat, turning on the car and turning down the radio to a soft hum.

Leia waved it off. "I'll be fine. I'll be there." As they headed towards Uncle Owen's farm, Leia added the note to the event in her calendar: "See the Falcon?"

[the-juanderer]

My Thailand Experience Highlights Guide

Oh the places you'll go!  

It was about that time of the year for me to scratch something of my bucket list. It was time for a solo adventure and I had plans for South East Asia.  Being a Latino born and raised in South central Los Angeles not too many people I grew up with can say they've been backpacking in a foreign country. I am lucky enough to have came across and met some really dope people in my life I can call friends. Who travel the world and influence me on living my best life and showing me that anything I want do in life I can accomplish! I was 26 at the time just a month away from turning 27, May 26th whoop!  and I’m still just irresponsible enough for random, spontaneous, probably not the smartest or most willing travel plans, but made it happen and my first backpacking solo trip to Thailand was a success!  

I had difficulty planning for Thailand, mostly because whenever I would try to Google “ The best things to do in Thailand”, there were too many recommendations and activities. I had sort of an idea of what activities I wanted to do like play with elephants, eat some bomb food, take a typical tourist selfie, but it was just way too confusing and overwhelming to try and plan anything definite.  

I decided to just search and find cool blogs of locals and people who decided to go live out there. That way I can get some insights from a locals point of view. In which I can tell you all had great advice! The more you research the more you’ll come to find that travelers seem to go to the same places but I didn’t want to follow that pattern. I wanted to get lost and just find my own routes and unique places. So in combination with their advice, and my many mishaps, fails, good ideas, and good luck, here are a couple highlights of my dope 10 day adventure and some helpful tips I have for anyone planning to visit Thailand.

First for anyone planning on going to Thailand coming from one of the biggest over planners and over thinkers of all time, you have to trust me on this one, don’t over plan! There are so many things to see and do, and they’re all cheaper once you get there, as opposed to pre - booking online. People would also tell me to book a hotel until I landed there so that I could walk around and see what areas I liked best. They’re typically cheaper if you just walk in to the hotel instead of booking online. Though I booked hotels because I’m an over planner like I said. Ha!

Bangkok

Tip #1

Take a tour ! There is a tour desk on every corner, literally. If you are staying at a hotel they have a tour desk but I felt the tours were a little cheaper when you bought them from the outside tour desks on the streets. They are literally on every corner once you get to the main roads. They are the best ways to explore and see the best parts of Thailand. Especially if you're only visiting for a few days.

I first started my Thailand adventure by landing in Bangkok. Always wanted to go to Bangkok after the “Hangover” movie though not to black out and wake up not knowing what happened the next day. It was my first time traveling solo and on top of that to the other side of the world.  Definitely a nerve racking experience before getting there. 

I stayed at Hotel Icon Bangkok for 3 days which was a great stay. Hotel was very clean, Wi-Fi was super good and hotel employees were so helpful and nice. I really liked the comfy rooms also it was so conveniently central to a lot of bars and stores. So I definitely recommend this hotel if you guys going to Bangkok and its super affordable it was about 2100 Baht per night which is about 70 dollars in American. Though you can find way cheaper hotels and hostels which range from 15 dollars a night.

Tip #2 

Money = BAHT (1,000 baht= $30    100b= $3  50b= $1.50   25b= .75) This was a helpful way for me to remember the currency exchange rate.

Getting around

Tuk tuks are the most fun to take in Bangkok as they race around traffic and make your heart stop a few times, no joke! If you go to the big shopping district take the Sky train there and a tuk-tuk back. I was also taking taxis and using Grab (Uber) make sure you get your taxis and tuk-tuks metered some try to gyp you by giving you a price up front and its usually way cheaper with the meter on. Stay alert! and just be aware. I would ask the taxi drivers to turn it on when it would be off and they were pretty cool about it. The sky train is mostly everywhere though and that was my main source of transportation.

Side note never taken a subway in my life and my first time happened to be in Bangkok and I got lost a few times but it was awesome. Don’t get frustrated just embrace it you’re in a foreign country its okay to get lost!

Let’s Party!

Let’s get the party talk out the way, if you want to party make your way down to Khao San Rd. is the main backpackers’ road and is filled with bars, clubs, hostels, and vendors! This is definitely the place to party in Bangkok and often people will go and never end up leaving this road since there are so many things to do here. Oh! and beer and liquor are super cheap! 

Rambutri St. is a street parallel to Khao San, actually connected to it if you take the “walking streets” or alleys which are pretty sketch. I started recording while walking down those alleys just in case something went down but its totally safe! So don’t worry.  Ramburi St. has the same stuff going on but instead of bars it has more hostels and is a bit quieter place to stay. Besides that you’re in Bangkok and night life is crazy everywhere, no one sleeps!

Bangkok was pretty cool did a lot or most of my shopping there so many street vendors and malls. Check out the malls some of the biggest malls I have ever seen in my life and you can find anything and I mean anything! Bangkok’s biggest shopping district is the sky trains stop Siam. Check out the Siam Paragon, the nicest mall I have ever been to that also has the nicest movie theater I’ve ever been in if you want to see a good movie. There is also an aquarium on the bottom floor that I’m sure is really nice I didn't get a chance to check it out though. In the same area across from Siam Paragon is MBK, this mall hosts no designer stores but here you can get practically anything you can think of for super cheap, filled with hundreds of little booths selling stuff and a good food court, it’s fun to walk around in if you don’t get too overwhelmed, and a good place to get cheap souvenirs in bulk before going back home. 

Tip #3

BARGAIN HARD - Everything is worth about half its said price so even if you can’t get it that low bargain your ass off! I was out there hustling.  Ask for a discount or offer around half the price and bargain up from there. The best tip of all start to walk away and say you aren’t interested! They’re quick to accommodate you better when they see if they might have no customer at all, I did it all the time!

My favorite part of Bangkok was the river crossing ferry I took. A ferry transports people from one side of the river to the other, and a journey only cost 3 baht. The most popular ferry crossing for sightseers is the crossing between Wat Pho Temple and Wat Arun at Tha Tien Pier. I took it down to about 7 stops, took all day but so much fun.

Tip#4

Learn to Talk Thai! Helpful words to know. Trust me, always better being there knowing something than nothing.  

FYI: Thai’s use Kap (boys) and Ka (girls) as a polite word at the end of sentences or phrases, it also kind of works as a short “Hi” “O.K” or “Yes” so don’t be confused by all the Ka’s and Kap’s that are thrown at you out there.

1.           Sa Wa Dee KAP (Kap for boys, Ka for girls) = Hello

2.           Kap kun KAP (again, KA for girls)= Thank You

3.           PET= spicy MAI PET= no spicy PET NOY= a little spicy

4.           Chai= Yes

5.           Mai Chai= No

6.           Foods:  Guy= Chicken     Mu= Pork       Kye= Egg  

7.           Mai Cow Jai= I don’t understand, Cow Jai= I undersand

8.           Nam Kang= water

9.           Mai Loo/Roo= I don’t know

What to eat?

Food! There was food everywhere from night markets to street food every few feet. It’s easy to find good food on Khao San/Rambutri and much more American foods than you will find anywhere else in Thailand. For cheap food go to the vendors, Pad Thai is really popular and a good dish that you can get almost anywhere tell them if you want Chicken (Guy) or Pork (Mu). I fell in love with Tom Yum soup out there so definitely recommend that.

Take a Thai cooking class!

A dope experience! It’s about a half a day course and is so delicious and worth the time. It’s a small group and you visit a Thai market to buy supplies and the guide explains to you different kinds of food. DON’T EAT! Before you go, you end up extremely stuffed from morning to night! You cook 5 different dishes out of categories and you get a cook book to take home and everything. Don’t be afraid to try the Northern dishes and curries. For sure try Mango Sticky Rice it’s so bomb!

The Islands

The islands were my favorite part of my whole trip in Thailand, beautiful beaches, dope people, and you’re surrounded by so much beautiful culture. I took a flight from Bangkok to the islands and decided to land in Phuket first. It’s the most popular island for tourist so wanted to see what all the hype was about.  I used Sky scanner to look up flights, there super cheap from within Bangkok ranging from $70 - $100. I stayed at Blue Ocean Resort, which was a really nice beach front resort. Wi-Fi was so-so and they had a cool little gym to put in some work if you want to. The location was the best part, Patong beach was literally across the street which is Phuket’s most popular tourist spot. Nightlife is insane full of bars and clubs and women (also lady boys) on poles! The beach was pretty cool, where you can do about anything you can imagine on water like jet skis or windsurfing.

Tip #5

Do not forget to bring Bug Spray! Trust me you’ll thank me, especially if you’re traveling to the beach areas. They’ll eat you alive!

James Bond Island in Phang Nga Bay  

There is so much to do in this area so you definitely need to go on a tour. Tours are so dope if you are staying at a hotel they usually have someone there offering different tours at different prices but don’t just buy from there walk around and explore. (Remember you can pretty much bargain anything) I did the James Bond, Phang Nga Bay trip by Long Tail boat. The tour guide was hilarious and very knowledgeable. First went to a monkey cape which was awesome! Never seen monkeys up close like that. Literally a park with wild monkeys jumping and running around everywhere. I tried getting cool with one by feeding it a banana but he wasn’t having it and chased me down! My life flashed before my eyes! But I survived.  Awesome experience being around wild monkeys, here’s actually a picture of the monkey and I right before he decided to turn against me and chase my ass. 

                   Monkey -  “Punk ass human don’t even know me like that! ”

Later went canoeing down Phang Nga Bay to Talu Island and went through some amazing sea caves. You literally have to duct down in the canoe to get passed the entrances of the sea caves. Some really nice spots to take pics. Shortly after you get to James Bond Island where I got to see the famous movie location “The Man with the Golden Gun” was filmed. Took some typical tourist selfies. That whole day was a fun experience with dope views and good vibes.

The cool part about being alone in a foreign country and taking tours is the awesome people you meet along the way. When you’re alone on a tour sometimes you need a partner so I would get paired up with other solo travelers. Other travelers from around the world with dope stories and wisdom. Don’t be afraid to spark up a conversation with people. There just out there exploring and having fun just like you.

KOH PHI PHI

Koh Phi Phi was my favorite island of them all. If you’re looking for crystal clear beaches, a place to relax or even a place to party hard Koh Phi Phi has it all! It is so tiny when you get off the boat on one beach you can see the other beach ahead on the other side.  I was here for 1 day but I felt that’s all you needed to explore and get a good feel for the island. I took the morning ferry from Phuket, arrived and had breakfast and booked a boat tour, spent the day on the boat and went snorkeling. I then arrived back at around sunset. I had enough time to hike up a viewpoint to see an incredible view of the whole island. The tour was about 1800 Baht / $60 bucks.

 Elephant Sanctuary

You can’t go to Thailand and not visit some Elephants!  Going to Thailand I was under the impression I was going to ride some but as I was there I learned how they treated the elephants when you go trekking and they abuse them and beat them to have people ride them for pleasure. I was totally against that and hated hearing how these animals were treated. I ended up finding the Green Elephant Sanctuary they have built out facilities that were so amazing and great habitats for the elephants. Such a fun experience! Really awesome that it was ethical and the animals were treated incredibly well. 

You start by feeding the elephants fruit and taking photos. Next, you go into the mud pit and rub mud on the elephants. You can tell they were really enjoying this. After the heavy mud, you go into a mud bath. You are waste deep in muddy water and you rinse them off with buckets and the elephants will sometimes squirt you with their trunks. Lastly, you shower with the elephants and you brush them clean.They also serve you food buffet style at the end, BOMB! All I can say.

An amazing experience all around these people clearly care so much for these animals and giving a positive experience for guests. I recommend making your reservation in the morning because it's less crowded. If you are reading this and thinking about an elephant ride versus going to a sanctuary I would highly encourage you to stay away from any place that rides elephants. They are not humane. These animals need to eat 400 pounds of food per day and they can't do it when they're giving rides or hauling logs. Moreover, they are abused quite horribly in those situations. Please come to a place like this. I loved it, probably the highlight of my trip.

 Message!

Overall my first international backpacking trip was way beyond my expectations. I made new friends and met some interesting kind hearted people from different parts of the world. I saw some of the world’s best beaches and monuments.  The locals are so nice and humble and treat you so well. I went out there to find and become a better version of myself. To temporarily detach myself from my current reality and realized there is so much more this world can offer. There are so many other types of struggles and obstacles that I don’t have to ever deal with. People are so much more humble and happy with far less in their possession. I learned to be grateful for what I have and be thankful every day that I’m so blessed to live the life that I do. I take so much for granted and when you travel to a third world country, you are immediately struck by the fact that people are happier, even though they have a lot less than you have. When we are constantly seeking to upgrade our lives with a better car, new job, or a better smartphone, just think about this - you can still be happy with what you have got.

  Well these were just a few highlights of my trip and I hope you enjoyed reading my experience and the few tips I provided. Remember to embrace everything you see, hear, and do. Definitely won’t be my last time in Thailand I have been bit by the travel bug so I’ll be traveling soon again and eventually make my way back to Thailand for some Tom Yum Soup and some Thai Tea which btw is the greatest only in Thailand!  

[canaryatlaw]

well, today was okay. kind of in a crappy mood due to a couple of different things, nothing serious, just the same lingering bullshit I’ve been dealing with for weeks now, yet it still manages to feel like betrayal....I don't know why I keep putting myself up to this. but, anyway. Last night I’d left off with our family friend (whose name I’m okay with using because she was definitely on tumblr and following me at some point though idk if she still does but also because her name is also Rachel) about meeting for breakfast at like 9:30, so I set my alarm for 8:30 which is way more time than I would need to get ready by myself (I’m generally 25 minutes max) but since I was with my family and everything I knew it would be a whole production and we’d need time. So it went off and we started to get ready, eventually ubering to our final destination, where we met up with Rachel (other Rachel, of course). Our families have been friends for years and years, her family is back in New York where mine is normally but she lives out here, but she works managing a restaurant and logs like, 75 hour weeks, which is insanity by any measure really (when I was working 50 hour work weeks I was constantly exhausted) so we don’t end up seeing each other very often, but since the family was here we made it happen. It was a really cute little place, I got corned beef hash with eggs which is a non-traditional breakfast choice for me because when I’m at a restaurant I tend to be more of the pancakes/french toast/waffle type than eggs, but I really like corned beef hash (I discovered it on one of our childhood trips to dutch country Pennsylvania in the buffet bar) and never really get to eat it, so I thought I’d take the opportunity here and it was super delicious. It ends up that the restaurant was in the same restaurant group as the one Rachel manages, and because of that they decided to comp all our meals, which was very generous given that there was six of us haha so it was not an insignificant amount. my dad was like so confused though. he loves buying things for other people (like legit, he does) and he was just like what, you mean I don’t get to pay?? 😂😂 he figured it out soon enough though. after breakfast we ended up walking a bit towards the hotel and the loop, and walked along the river for a while which was very nice. There was a ton of kids on one of the river tour boats (definitely like a field trip) that passed us and literally all of them were waving at us and screaming HIIIII and it was really cute. We ended up walking back to the hotel, where we hung out for a bit until the shuttle came to take my family to the airport. so we said goodbyes, and they left, then Rachel and I decided to get go ice cream haha because we could. we took the bus a few stops up and then walked a little to a Jeni’s ice cream store, which I think I’ve been to with Rachel once before but I’m always down for ice cream of course and this was insanely good (apparently they sell pints in whole foods if you’d like to try for yourself). I got one scoop of cream puff (which was like, the most heavenly thing, it was even better than an actual cream puff because it was ICE CREAM that tasted like one) and one scoop of brambleberry crisp, which was of course also delicious. They really like, also mastered getting the scoops to be perfectly round so they fit in your cone perfectly and it’s not like a constant challenge of trying to eat the ice cream before it melts (these are the things I worry about when eating ice cream). So we ate our ice cream and talked for a while before parting ways, I walked back to the bus route and took that the rest of the way north as it got me pretty close to my apartment (it’s the second closest bus stop/route to me), I could’ve done the red line but that was a little further out of my way and I still had my big bag of stuff from staying over with me which was gonna be a real pain in the ass to carry around. When I had to get off the bus, while I was trying to pick it up one of the straps broke, so I had to carry it from the bottom and goddddd was it heavy, I would walk like 20 feet and then have to put it down and rest my arms lol (again, I am so, so weak). Eventually I made it all the way to my apartment, my right hand is like bruised on the inside right below my fingers, not like a traditional bruise but it’s red and tender lol and I’m trying not to add any suspicious marks because I already have a super noticeable bruise on my forearm from carrying a too heavy shopping bag for too long (either that or my too heavy purse, could be either one, did I mention the strap of my purse also fell off?? that was like March though) and like, just dealing with all the stuff I see at the DV clinic I’d rather just not give people reasons to speculate about such things, lol. for some reason it reminded me of when I was observing a trial and there were domestic violence allegations, i.e. mom was getting beaten up by boyfriend and that made her an inadequate mother because it meant she couldn’t keep her kids safe (a premise which is of course flawed but that’s an entirely different conversation we’d have to have) and her public defender decided to argue that she believed it was the 15 year old son who was actually hitting his mother, and the mother wouldn’t say anything because she was protecting him, and I just remember sitting there like what the actual fuck, and the judge very much did not appreciate what she was trying to argue by essentially maligning a child on no evidence whatsoever other than her opinion, definitely not an argument unfamiliar to public defenders in juvenile court, because if a kid comes forward with accusations of abuse, of course one of the arguments you’re going to use is saying the kid is lying, which I still think is awful, but I understand why it is used (but I still hate it). Anyway, tangent. I got home and like, laid down on my bed for like 20 minutes with my eyes closed while also listening to the latest legends of tomorrow podcast episode for their season 3 wrap up. when that was finished I just went on my laptop for a bit, doing a few random things and looking up some recipes so I’d find something to make. I decided I really wanted brownies, but I knew I didn’t have any actual chocolate, just cocoa powder and different types of candies. so I looked up what happens when you melt m&ms (which just sounds like an amusing premise to me) and it looked like it would work out pretty well, so I used those for the chocolate that was to be melted, and then used a combination of m&ms and rolos for the part of the recipe that called for chocolate chips. they turned out pretty good, the bottoms were kinda hard and somewhat plasticy because of the candy pieces, but the parts with the caramel from the rolos were super great, so that was good. I made a quick parmesan pasta soup recipe for dinner (which as heavenly) and sat down to watch Supergirl. Again, my feelings are mixed because I’m somewhat invested in the whole Sam/Ruby/Lena plot but at this point really do not give a flying fuck about most of the other characters at this point. I liked the Alex helping take care of Ruby plot, and I did really get a kick out of them using Lex’s old mansion (which has an invisibility cloak on it???) as a hideout, that was pretty cool. I felt so bad for Ruby of course throughout the episode but especially at the end, having to deal with seeing her mom like that in something that is so unexplainable and horrific. The fact that they’re giving Alex and Ruby more interaction makes me think they’re gonna go the route of something happening to Sam and Alex then taking care of Ruby, which, as much of a sweet plot line that would make for Alex, I really do not want to happen because I very much want a happy ending for Sam and Ruby and for Sam not to end up killed over something that was very much not her fault (see, now I’m thinking about season 8 of Smallville and being like but did I blame Davis for what he couldn’t control??? but most of his objectionable behaviors were choices he actually made, not the monster, especially culminating in that one character death that I am never going to forgive the writers for, ever, so as much as these plots are similar the characters outside of the monsters are very different). But yeah, that was all I really got from the episode, I could not care less about Meh-El returning to help them fight Reign, essentially with a go fuck her pass from his wife, which was really the only way they could justify it being okay for him to have feelings for Kara. Anyway. When it was over I tuned right into The Resident for their season finale, and hooooooly shit man, it was so good!!! I’m actually really impressed with the show so far, they've been consistently knocking it out of the park for pretty much the entire season, which is no easy feat, as I’m sure plenty of one season shows could tell you. I thought they did an excellent job of wrapping up what was really a very complicated plot within one episode, when it looked like it was going to take longer than that, but they did it in a way that didn’t actually feel rushed or forced, just very well done. Of course Bell is going to stay in power for now, he’s more of a long term villain (”villain”) when of course Lane is going to be the one to take the fall. When he was talking to her about it I knew he was setting her up, the cold son of a bitch that he was, but I mean it certainly worked out well for him. With the twist at the very end involving Conrad’s father, I was VERY glad we got a season 2, because that is wayyyyyyyyy too good of a hook to just have been dropped. I’m quite excited for what next season will bring us. When that was over I went to last night’s Brooklyn 99, which was excellent as always, we’re so close to Jake and Amy’s wedding!!! and of course, watching it this week after everything that happened over the past couple of days felt that much more satisfying, knowing that they tried to end it but the show and its fan pulled through and gave it new life. like man, if there ever was a question about the influence of social media, this incident surely should have answered it. So that was good of course. But then I watched Designated Survivor, which I had to watch with the knowledge that they did not get renewed, and that we only had two episodes left 😔😔 I was very sad about this because I really do love this show so much (and not just because it’s made my Gugg’s brother and I’d much rather support him over Guggs) because of Kiefer and how much I love his acting, and of course Italia is a gem, and I had such a lovely time talking to her about it back in San Jose in December. Hearing her talk about Kiefer and him telling her how she needs to watch 24, it was just so sweet, I really liked it. I did hear from a source that the reason for the cancellation was more about behind the scenes things than ratings or anything, which is disappointing of course because you want to think that everyone making a show gets along swell, but of course that’s not always the actual case. Oh well. As far as the actual episode, it was pretty quality, I died at the opening scene with Kendra, this show really writes its female characters so well in that I absolutely adore all of them, they’re all just these brilliant strong women who don’t take shit from anybody and I love them all. The main plot was kinda meh, I know they said Michael J Fox would be around for the rest of the season but they really should’ve just given him an official role, as opposed to finding a way to shoehorn him into the plot every week in increasingly ridiculous positions, and it just gives me way too many good wife feelings, not just because he’s playing the same exact fucking character, but also because they had a way of shoehorning characters into plots with about as much tact as they showed here. When it got down to the whole special counsel thing and Kendra was like “it’s not even clear if any charges can be levied against a sitting president” which made me LOL because way to be relevant and throw little pieces of current events in there, even when the people in their government are really superior to ours in pretty much every way, and that I will for sure miss. President Jack Bauer.....I will always have a special place in my heart for you, lol. After that I watched the news for a few minutes before watching Jimmy Kimmel, then catching the opening monologue of Seth Meyers, who is always consistently funny, and then finally getting ready for bed. Tomorrow I have PT at 2 but nothing to do before then so I’ll probably sleep (it is already 2:30 am right now) and then maybe get some groceries. My bar prep course doesn't officially start till next Tuesday, so I have a week to myself, though I’m starting at the DV clinic on Friday for one day a week, so that should be good. I really, really hope I hear from the NY job in the next few days so I’ll at least know where I’m standing with all of this. Okay, that’s enough for now, my eyes are getting droopy and I think it’s a good time to let them stay shut. Goodnight friends. Sending you lots of love. 

[kyakykreativitylover]

McGrawHamilton Uni AU

I’ve been to uni in the UK and met some people and had some experiences that made me want to write the Black Sails characters as Uni Freshers. So here it is, 

PART 1 of infinity, I kid, but really I’m not seeing an end to this so....... PART 1

Imagine James McGraw is moving to Manchester for the first time and is all O_O and lost. Anyway, he’s like “Take a deep breath James, it’s just a city, no biggie, calm down, be cool, it’s only your first day at Uni, you’ll be alright.”  Thus our story begins.

It took James McGraw a bus and a train ride to get from his home to the city of Manchester. Once in Manchester he took a deep breath and used GoogleMaps to get his bearings as well as figure out how to get from the train station to his new halls. He had admittedly lost his mind a tad and splurged a bit when he had gotten his student maintenance loan, so he was looking for one of the “better” halls in Manchester. Once he had figured out how to go from the bus station to his halls (”Bus number 147.″ a polite -if slightly drunk- man had told him) he was able to take another deep breath.

He managed to get on the bus and get to halls in about half an hour. After getting his welcome pack from the reception of his halls (which contained two different forms as well as his access fob and room/flat and post box keys) he is told his flat number and the building it was in. 

He manages to get from the reception to his flat relatively painlessly. Once he enters his flat he finds five other people sitting in the common area. (”Fuck, I look and smell like shit, I’m not ready to meet people and here I fucking am with like five people looking at me, SHIT!”) He goes to his room (”Ensuite- awesome”) and dumps his bags, and suitcases on the floor. He washes his face, brushes histeeth and then braces himself to meet his new flat mates. (“Stay cool James, stay cool.”) There’s six of them in this flat:

Charles Vane (”Don’t think about how hot he is James. Cocky fucking git he probably already knows, SHIT”)

Jack Rackham, (”What a sweetheart, shit, I just want to hug him and his perfect floppy hair”).

 Madi Scott (”I wish I was that organised, she already has her text books, I don’t even know what my reading list looks like.”)

Max Parker (”She’s such a cutie, look at her smile, also wow holy weaponised sexuality, batman.”)

Miranda Barlow (”Is she meant to be here? She’s like hella posh, fuck, am I meant to be here? Also WOW she brought a WHOLE harpsichord?!”). 

Charles decides that the best way to bond as room mates is to play drinking games. Max and Charles are the heaviest of heavy weights. Jack gets drunk and is apparently a hungry drunk because he decides that they should go to a pub to eat. “I’m sure there’s a ‘Spoons near here.” Jack announces after demolishing another bag of crisps. Miranda handles her liquor well as she is no where near drunk, but she is getting gigglier (”Is that a word?”) and gigglier.  Madi didn’t want to drink but she watches them get stupider and stupider, records their bad behaviour and laughs at them. And he....... he wants to curl into a ball and cry. He also wants to fight Charles, just because...... why the fuck not. He ends up arm wrestling Charles (and losing, but never mind that).

They end up at a kebab shop approximately 20 steps from their halls. Jack orders a kebab with everything. Charles is flirting with a random girl they met at the shop. Madi gets cheesy chips (”Now I weirdly crave falafel and hummus.”).  Miranda gets a chicken sandwich meal deal and gives Max her fries. James gets a classic fish and chips and douses both with salt and vinegar. When they look up from their food they find Charles is already locking lips with the girl (”That didn’t take long” Jack tells him, “Yet, when you look like that, it wouldn’t take long.”). Then Jack goes off with some random redheaded girl. (”Hi Anne.” “I wanna fuck.” “Okay, then, I guess I’ll be off, bye guys.” Max and Madi laugh at Jacks’ retreating form, Miranda just smiles into her apple tango.) Charles also leaves with the girl. (”Don’t wait up guys, daddy’s gotta take of business.” Charles whispers at them with a massive smirk. “Fuck off Charles” James says with a mouth full of fries. “Have a good night.” Max offers, before returning to the near empty box of fries.) Max finishes the fries and then pouts at the empty box.  “If you want I could get you more fries?” James offers. Max brightens up at that. “Thanks.” “Get like two boxes then, sine I’m sure we’ll all end up sharing them.” Miranda says before turning back to her phone. “Sure.” James responds as he goes to the counter. 

A group of lads then walk into the kebab shop. (A/N This image kinda captures their banter with each other but they are dressed more like Jack and Finn from Jacksgap- which is to say well put together, perfectly fitted and stylish as hell).

They all have extremely posh accents and look like they’ve never seen the inside of Primark, let alone the charity shops James buys 70% of the clothes he owns from. Three of the lads go to the second of the three booths in the tiny shop. One of them comes up to the counter. He sees James and smiles. 

James smiles back, then he remembers he was meant to be buying food. 

“Uh, can I get two boxes of fries.”

“And some onion rings.” Max shouts from somewhere behind him.

“Uh, and onion rings.” James adds putting 3 pound coins on the counter.

The man behind the counter gets busy serving the dishes. “Sauce?” He asks. “No thanks.” James says with a wide smile.

“Next.” The man says after handing James his food. 

“Hi.” The posh lad says. “Can I get two number 7′s, a 5 and a cheesy garlic bread.” He then hands the man a twenty. James goes back to his booth. Miranda looks up from her phone and then exclaims “Thomas!”

The lad at the bar looks back at them. “Miranda! Madi!” At that Madi turns around to face the lad and ends up grinning.

He then comes to their booth and to give Miranda and Madi massive hugs. Miranda pseudo crawls over James in her haste to give Thomas a hug. “I haven’t seen you since we went to the gardens last month. How have you been?” Miranda asks. “I’ve been goo-”

“Thomas.” One of the other lads calls from their booth. “I think the food is ready.” The other boys laugh. Thomas shakes his head before giving Miranda another hug. “I’ll be back.” He gets the food, dishes it out amongst the lads he came with and then returns to their booth with his order. 

“Aren’t you leaving your friends a little high and dry?” Miranda asks chuckling and stealing one of his chicken wings. “Hey boys, am I leaving you high and dry?” Thomas calls over his shoulder. One of the lads he came with laughs out loud while another one says “Nah, you can have him. We’d have killed him if he had stayed.” The third is focused on eating.

Thomas then looks at Miranda who shrugs. Max steals another of his chicken wings. “Please eat before Max and Miranda eat all your food.” Madi says eating an onion ring. Thomas laughs and tucks into his burger. James hasn’t stopped staring at him. (”Holy shit he’s hot. Like, fuck me, he’s really hot.”) Thomas turns to smile at him. “I know Miranda and Madi but I don’t know the rest of you.” James goes slightly red as Miranda starts introductions. “That’s Max.” Max smiles and eats some more fries. “Next to me is James.” James almost chokes on his chip. He manages to hold out his hand for a hand shake. Which Thomas takes with a soft chuckle. “You already know Madi.” Miranda says while staring at him questioningly. “Yeah we were chained together on the M4 for the better part of a day. We then spent 30 hours in holding.”  Thomas then shakes his head “Not to forget going to court for those three days.” Madi adds taking one of two his chicken pieces.“Yeah. Good times.” Thomas says with a smile, giving up and pushing his last three wings, piece of chicken and left over fries towards Max, Madi and Miranda.

“How do you and Miranda know each other?” James dares to ask. Miranda then laughs very loudly before looking at Thomas. “The truth?” He asks her. She nods. “We’re married.” James is grateful he has no food in his mouth because then he’d have spit it out. Max and Madi look as stunned as he feels. “We got married in kindergarten.” Miranda clarifies. “We’ve been stupidly close since.” Thomas then kisses her hand. “I’d be lost without you.” He tells her. Miranda then gasps. “We should have you over for dinner tomorrow.” Madi nods. “Dinner?” James asks. Miranda looks at him. “You mean tea don’t you?” James says with a wide smile. Max looks confused. “De quoi parlez-vous?” Miranda then answers “The great English North- South divide.” James then turns to Max. “As we are in Manchester- which is the North- the correct term for the last meal of the day is tea.” Madi and Miranda roll their eyes. Finally Thomas says, “Very well then, am I invited for tea tomorrow night or not?” James smiles and says “Yeah, sure.”

“Thomas!” One of the lads calls out. “You’re either in this Uber with us or your taking the bus.”

Thomas smiles at them as he gets home. “Well that’s my cue. Good night my dears.” He kisses Mirandas’ and Madis’ hands and shakes James’. Max gets up and kisses his cheek. “Thanks for the food.” She tells him. “You’re more than welcome.” Thomas says before leaving.

James discreetly sniffs the air around where Thomas sat, and finds that it still  smells of Thomas’ cologne and after shave.(”I’m fucking screwed. I have a crush on a rich southern lad. Great.”) 

“Well what are we doing for tomorrows dinn- I’m sorry I mean tea.” Miranda asks the table. “Let’s discuss this tomorrow.” Max says. “I want to go to this party I was invited to.” Miranda nods. They all leave the booth. They all offer to walk Max to the party. Max declines their offers. “I’ll go back to the flat, get changed and then meet my friends at the reception. We’ll go together.” Miranda nods. 

Once the get back to the flat James bids them all good night and then goes to bed. 

[sealegsagain]

Two years later...

A big thing bothering me lately is the fact that I haven’t made a mix in over two years. I’ve really been beating myself up lately for this, especially since I think my taste has grown for the better. If I catalog the reasons, it’ll make more sense and I’ll have less impetus to feel crappy about it. At least that’s the idea. SHALL I COUNT THE WAYS...

1. My computer with all my music on it started overheating and malfunctioning... lets say.. the Spring of last year?  I had to buy and install a new hdd into my old laptop in the interim that was large enough to hold my music collection, and that took a lot of time for various reasons.

I JUST finally got to fix it THIS July (about two months ago), so I couldn’t record any digital mixes till then. I couldn’t procure any new digital tunes in that time frame either since I had nowhere to store them. 2. As for anaIog, I just started buying the type of DnB I like starting last December. I was also gifted Jim’s records.. not sure.. September of that year? I haven’t had a proper multi-genre vinyl collection long, despite buying records since I was 16. My vinyl hoard has grown EXPONENTIALLY in the last two years and I’ve had a great time doing it. I’ve got a little bit of everything. I’ve probably gone a bit overboard, honestly, and half the time I feel like I’ve lost my mind because few people spin records these days anymore. I question my sanity frequently, but I absolutely adore digging for tunes and learning about their history.

When I set up for a gig with decks and records, it immediately attracts attention because of the novelty of even seeing such equipment... and people EXPECT things. They expect a good set after taking all of the time to lug that bullshit in. And if I can’t deliver, I feel quite terrible.

3.  Reason 3: I’m not gonna lie, lack of support. I’m a little sad that the small crew of people actually throwing raves in Salisbury thinned out and dispersed since I graduated college and have time to attend them now. I would really just love to hang out and jam with some people. Someone, anyone? I’ve been going to local metal shows in the meantime, and I’m glad to see their scene is growing again. Being a part of Adrenacore 9 has been an awesome part of my life so far, and I’ve met many cool people and visited interesting places I never would have otherwise. I’ve always been simpatico with goth folk. I was into that fashion and music back when I was like 12 or so before I even discovered rave, and I have a strong natural affection towards that scene as well. I love those guys, even if I don’t see them as much any more. As for happy hardcore, (my first love that I have more nostalgia for than a stuffed animal) Happy Hardcore is pretty huge on the East Coast now, but the only problem is that my tastes have sort of evolved, and I can’t honestly get down with most hardcore being produced now. There is still some good stuff coming out, but as for the majority, it just doesn’t do it anymore. I really wish this weren’t the case, because I am so down to support HHC. It’s a part of my blood at this point.  The majority of people I know involved with electronic music started with HHC, so that’s were all my connections and history lie.

But yeah. This makes me feel uber weird, to be honest. I’ve never been someone to spam events all over facebook unless I’m somehow involved with throwing them. It just doesn’t feel right to be a promo machine, especially since the majority of my friends aren’t ravers.

4.  The final reason is time. This is probably the biggest reason, really. Some people are able to juggle multiple commitments, but honestly, school took all of my time until I graduated last December. In any case, I’m working harder than ever to try and throw something together that I can be proud of with virtually no one giving a fuck about it but me. It won’t help me find me a job, get me a date, or even land me a gig. It won’t do much else in the realm of external validation, but this is something I must do. For me. These are the current plans: I want to do breaks// oldskool// and electro into freestyle Belgian new beat//80s//Industial//techno and a DnB mix that starts off with classic atmospheric jungle and works itself up into current face-smashers like I had in Random acts of Moxie ganbatte.

[collegerapesurvivor]

My trip to NYC

"When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to you in every situation you will have peace despite rejection or disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the negative energy of fear and regret."

-Shannon L Alder

On Thursday October 20th 2016 I got into the Car with my friend and she drove me to the train station. There was a lot of tension in the car for many different reasons. First, I didn't want to miss my train. Second because I was nervous about everything that was going to be happening within the next 36 or so hours. The conversation was kept light. Talking about random things but, watching the clock to make sure I got to the train station on time.

Eventually I got to the train station and I got on on the back of the train. I didn't know where I was on the train. I wasn't sure if I was in the back or the front. I sat down and looked around. There weren't many people on the train at the time. I called my friend and told her I was on the train and that I was sitting down. Letting her know it was okay to leave and that I would be in New York before 4:00. After that I curled up into a little ball and fell asleep. Well, kinda. The next stop two other people that were going to the same event would be getting on. I was awake at their stop. They texted me that they were on the train.

They sat down and I went back to sleep or at least tried. After a while I knew i wasn't going to be able to sleep so i pulled out my Geology homework. I got a text from the girls, a picture of them so I knew who to look out for. I had never met them before. I was happy that I wasn't alone in this adventure and that I had two other people who would be there with me throughout the trip.

When we stopped in Albany, they had come to find me and I looked up and saw them. We talked about Uber and how we were going to have to Uber from the City to our destination. After a few minutes they went back to their seats and I went back to trying to do my Geology homework. Albany to New York is still another three or so hours. So I read a little of my book, and listened to music until eventually we made it to Manhattan. I have been to New York countless times. I love it there, but the environment is to chaotic for me. There's to much happening and to many people. It makes my anxiety sky high.

When we got off the train, we went to Time Square. At first I'm sure I was a bit awkward. But eventually everything settled down and we all talked. We went to the M&M store in Time Square and got a bunch of M&M's.

Then we went to the Hershey's store. It was small, very small and made me anxious. I really like my space and that store didn't allow you to have that. You were next to a person at all times. Then to a gift shop. I love to look around and see all the cool New York things that they have. They had so many cool shirts. Then we decided to walk around a little. We still had a lot of time left until dinner which started at 8.

We went to this cute little area that had seats and fountain wall. We sat there for a while then decided to continue walking around. We walked to a beautiful fountain across the street from Radio city Music hall. It was stunning. It was starting to get dark so that's when we all made the decision to get the Uber or Lyft so we could make it to the place we needed to go on time. Let me tell you trying to find a place to order a Lyft or uber in New York is impossible. We finally found a place.

Since there were 3 females we really wanted to have a female driver. I really just wanted to get out of the city before it got dark. I don't really like being out at night.

After a while of struggling and having to call the women who was in charge of the event we were going to (thank god for her) we finally got a Lyft to where we needed to go. The Lyft driver was really nice and it all ended up being fine. We drove past Central park which is huge. I had no idea how big Central park really was. We drove past Yankee Stadium among other things and lots of pictures were taken but not by me. I was always too late for the good pictures.

After about an hour we finally made it to our hotel. We walked in, it was BEAUTIFUL. This was the first time I've ever been somewhere completely alone. We got a free cookie when we checked in. As we were checking in we met the person who had set up the event and some of the other people who were going to be there for us if we needed them. I'm really glad that we met them all before dinner so we knew who they were.

Alyssa*, Julia*, Julia's boyfriend and I went to our rooms and dropped off our stuff. I ended up doing a quick change, mostly just changing into a different pair of the same pants and a new shirt. We went to dinner the 4 of us sat next to each other. By this time we had spent a lot of time together. We were all overly tired. I'm the kind of person who  stays in the back until they know its safe. Since I had grown comfortable with Alyssa and Julia, I was okay with talking with them. I'm very quiet when you first meet me, but once i open up, all hell breaks loose and I'm loud.

During dinner we all talked. We talked about life, we talked about TV shows we liked. Like Grey's anatomy. Lets be real that show is the best. The event was hosted by the NYC alliance against sexual assault. There were a few fans so we ended up talking for a while about that. During dinner I laughed, a lot. Laughed because someone knocked over a glass or spilled something on the table. Also during dinner I disclosed. I disclosed my rape to the two people I had been with since the time I had gotten to New York. I told them about my school and what had happened with that. It was nice to talk about it before the next day. My stomach was in knots.

After dinner Alyssa and I ended up going into the hotel lobby because we were both freaking out about the next day. We didn't know what to expect and we were both very nervous about that. Alyssa told me some of the officers were just around the corner.I wasn't ready for that, not yet. We talked for a while about being anxious. About not being believed. About how everything was going to go. About the police officers and how they would respond to us.

Eventually we decided it was time to go bed. But before that we went to the room where the event was going to be held. I looked into the room and it was huge. The table was set up in a rectangle, so we would all be facing each other.

Alyssa and I went to sleep. Except I didn't sleep. At all. I was awake the whole night. I was tossing and turning . The next morning I got up at 7:30 and took a shower. I texted to see what everyone else was wearing and got dressed. I didn't dress up but I did put on makeup. I packed up all of my things and brought them down Julia's room.

The 3 of us headed downstairs together. We got to where breakfast was and we saw the officers. I think I freaked out seeing all of the officers . For me, the police just have a look about them that is extremely intimidating. I have never been in trouble with the law, besides a few tickets.

The people from the Alliance kept checking in on us to make sure we were okay. I got a bagel, cream cheese and a coffee. I sat down next to Alyssa and Julia also one of the people from the alliance was sitting down next to us. Not only was I sitting next to people I was comfortable with. I was sitting across from people I was comfortable with. I could see the other people who were there and the people from the Alliance. So, I would have someone to look at when I was talking.

We all were talking for a while. Nerves were becoming worse. I could feel a knot in my stomach and I felt like I was going to be sick and I was having panic attacks on and off. Since I felt sick ate a few bites of my bagel. I couldn't finish it though.

After that it was announced that the event was going to start. We went around the room introducing ourselves and pronouns along with where we were coming from. Then we did an ice breaker. Going around the room saying something that we like to do. I decided on "I like to read" then we went over ground rules. Confidentiality  and all that jazz.

During the event it was hard. It was triggering, but I knew it was something that needed to be done. At one point I had to walk out of the room. I hope that what happened in that room has made an impact on those officers. Has made an impact on how they interact and deal with survivors in the future.

After the event we had a debriefing. We talked about how we think the event went. I didn't say anything. I think I shut down. When I got up and left the room. I saw people out in the hall way. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I wish I asked someone to follow me. I suck at doing things like that so it's no surprise that i didn't. I suck at emotions. I think I was very overwhelmed and I think that made things worse. I kept looking at the lights in the room. Not only were they pretty they kept me from crying. After the debriefing Julia, Alyssa and I went to the lobby of the hotel and ordered an Uber. Alyssa and I ventured off to try to go and get coffee but the machine wasn't working.

We said goodbye to some of the people from the alliance. I think that without all of them it would have been a lot harder. Each and everyone one of them played a key roll in me feeling comfortable. So to each of them thank you. You have no idea how much your presence was appreciate and needed.

We got into the uber and it was silent the entire way to the train station processing everything that had happened. I was just thinking about everything and it was a flood of what could have been said and what shouldn't have been said on my part. When we got to the train station we waited. Waited to find out where we would be going to get on our train.  I remember the loud noises and the shuffling of people, and I  disassociated. When we finally got onto the train we sat down, in a row. We took pictures, and they helped me stay on the train. See I was suppose to be on the 1:20 train back but I really didn't want to go back alone and ended up getting on the later train.

They kept joking that I would have to stay and sleep on the streets or I would have to find a place to stay.  When I got on I was extremely lucky, the machine wasn't working and managed to stay on the train. I don't advise doing this, it was extremely nerve racking. I wanted to puke until we got to Albany when I finally started to feel better. But the whole time we talked, talked about the event. Talked about how we felt, talked about our hopes of what would come of us speaking to these cops. I told a room full of people I was raped. I just know when I uttered "I was raped" for the first time my hand was shaking. That was a huge step for me. The courage of everyone else in that room, made me feel comfortable enough to disclose. The other people in the room made me feel safe and for that I can't thank them enough.

There were times where we would listen to music for a while and then end up talking again. Before we got to their stop the person came around to finally scan tickets. I tried to fake being asleep but that didn't work. I gave my name and that didn't work. So, I ended up pulling up my ticket and he scanned it. He just mumbled the train I was suppose to be on before moving on to the next person. We all had a good laugh about that. I really should've bought a lottery ticket because I was extremely lucky. Eventually Julia and Alyssa got off the train and I was left alone in my thoughts. When a man sat down next to me I started to cry. Feeling every emotion I had suppressed that day.

After what seemed like forever I finally got to my stop and got off the train. I got into the car with my friend and she drove me home. This whole experience was emotionally exhausting. What do I hope comes of it? That survivors who come forward will be treated with dignity and respect. That survivors finally feel safe enough to come forward. I don't think of myself being brave. I think of myself making sure nobody else has to go though what I did. If I changed the future for one survivor, I'm happy.

*names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved.