#top left pose do be living rent free in my mind

[theresa-of-liechtenstein]

art by em year in review 2023!

for the fourth time, i present to you a selection of the art i did this year! this definitely was the Year of Understanding Procreate, and i think it paid off. as usual, reflections under the cut.

january: i saw @malcolm-f-tucker tag a picture of abigail thaw with a comment about a theresa faceclaim and it left no survivors, i.e. i decided that theresa should have greying hair and did not look back. this was from when i was still trying to figure out what brush to use for lineart in procreate. luckily i had learned my lesson from the sketchbook learning curve and realized that what i liked for lineart would most likely be in the pencil section. however i wasn’t a huge fan of the brush i used in this one, so i didn’t use it again. instead, for later pieces, i decided to customize the 6b pencil brush to my liking, and…

february: …this came out of it! this is still one of my favorite things i have ever drawn, and it’s my favorite thing i’ve drawn yet for herc and linda. this piece really convinced me to use overlay layers more in my art, and the amount of detail i managed to capture in this one still amazes me now. and before anyone asks, yes, they are doing specific things in the startup procedure for an airbus a320-family aircraft, except linda is doing things off the CM1 checklist and herc is doing something off the CM2 checklist, which i learned later is not really something that is done. let’s just say herc is not the tightest stickler to convention.

march: one half of an intended two pieces centered around the f1 au (which, regrettably, i have yet to continue… i just reread what little of the second part is on ao3 and god, it slaps actually, i really need to continue it so bad) depicting a pivotal scene from around the outside, where theresa and linda decide to put aside a childhood feud at the top of the banked curve at monza. at sunset. on theresa’s birthday. i know, very meaningful, incredibly homoerotic. read the fic to see how well that turns out!

april: i always knew i wanted to redraw the first filipino!hercolyn thing i did back in 2020, the one that completely solidified in my mind the notion that These Characters Are Filipino, Actually, and when i got comfortable in procreate i quickly jumped on that. (if you notice, a lot of the stuff i did this year were redraws of old pieces i really liked but wasn’t fully satisfied with.) of course i wanted to draw them in the traditional clothes in my parents’ and grandparents’ wedding pictures. the implication of this being, of course, that this is the soft shoe shuffle wedding. i have a fic planned centered around that, from douglas’ perspective. now that grad school apps are basically done, if my honors thesis doesn’t kick me too hard, i’d love to get on that as soon as i can.

may: YOU JUST GOT COLINED! SEND THIS TO A FRIEND TO TOTALLY COLIN THEM! ah, colin fairbairn: the figure whose presence haunts all of newcastle but is never actually. named. (much to the chagrin of a lot of people who genuinely thought linda’s dad was named colin bc i Wouldn’t Shut Up About It) i just love him so much and i love this piece, i wanted to depict the wistfulness of an older colin whose airline is on the verge of collapse, who has been secure in his job as chief pilot of air cal, who looks out over glasgow airport (that’s glasgow’s runway in the background) and wonders if it’s time to put himself out to pasture. wondering what he could have done differently. it’s okay bby. there’s no way that you could have prevented this. but he’d never believe it. he’s too duty bound. he lives in my head rent free.

june: another redraw, this time of a piece from 2021. i was so happy with this one, and i am very happy with it still! everything about the older piece i loved was improved massively by this redraw: the poses, the proportions, the line work, the coloring. honestly, just thinking about the two of them just existing in the airport, overlooked by bustling passengers, just part of the landscape, but having such a rich history and relationship between them… it’s something i think about a lot and i love it.

july: this comprises the third part of an unofficial trilogy of drawings i did centered around douglas/martin/theresa. in each one, i centered a different member of the ot3: i did one centering martin last year, one centering douglas in the spring, and this one centers theresa between douglas and martin. i really enjoy how i did the expressions in this one: martin, looking out toward the planes; theresa, following his gaze, eager to share in the passion they both have; and douglas, looking down at both of them (yeah i think they’re both shorter than him. i think it’s cute). i feel like when i draw these three, where they look and how they look is very important to me.

august: can you believe before this point i had never drawn herc and douglas together? yeah, me too. anyway, them 🤍 i’ve literally only ever drawn them as older men so trying to draw them younger was. lowkey kind of hard. i’m hoping to revisit air england herc and douglas in the future, especially since i didn’t intend for this to be anything more than a quick bit due to those bisexual divorcee brackets (which i don’t know what became of them in the end except that douglas got through and herc didn’t, lmao)

september: unposted self-portrait done as a part of my aerospace fellowship application i wound up getting rejected from because they required me to do a creative component. not much to say here. anyways.

october: yet another redraw, this time of a portrait of herc, carolyn, linda, and arthur i did a year prior, in october of 2022. i like to think that lfeu!herc carries pictures of linda, arthur, and carolyn in his wallet: he had never wanted to be the family man for most of his life, but in his new life, this new form, he can play it well. something about the coloring seems a little off to me: i think i may have to go in and adjust arthur’s skin tone because i think it doesn’t look 100% right. but i love this one too. i hemmed and hawed for ages over what they should be wearing but in the end i put them in what they’d wear for work bc i couldn’t think anymore. but it turned out super cute and i think it emphasizes what brought the four of them together in the first place: aviation.

november: a cute little doodle of young!colin with baby linda, from a bigger piece. something i generally feel like i’ve gotten stronger with this year has been drawing a larger variety of poses. i discovered that procreate allows you to import reference images in a smaller window that can be very easily dragged around and resized, which was a massive improvement over my previous strategy with sketchbook, which had been to import reference images as their own layers. often, moving it around or resizing reference images resulted in some loss of quality. anyways there’s something just so tender about colin and linda and i love to revisit them.

december: last but not least, we finish off the way we started, with theresa (and an added douglas lol). and boy, how different does december look from january? granted, it’s a different angle, but i personally think there is so much more dimension at the end of the year compared to the beginning. i was less afraid of using overlays to enhance the coloring. and the brush i wound up settling on for lineart really ended up serving me well this whole year, culminating in this piece. not much to say on this one, i like it a lot :)

overall thoughts: i didn’t think i drew as much as i wanted to this year, but looking back i still think i made really good progress and improved a lot from last year, so i’m still happy. definitely want to draw more next year, explore new subjects, and maybe work on redrawing more pieces from previous years because those projects have been very fun to undertake.

once again i want to say a big thank you to everyone who’s ever shared or commented or left a like on anything i’ve drawn: it will have been 10 years next year since the end of the show i primarily create fanwork for, and to still have people out there who like what i do is such a gift. yes i create for myself, but i do also like receiving feedback from others and sharing it with others, so thank you thank you thank you. and happiest of new years to all :)

[agentmmayy]

i just think they should have gotten to hold each other <3

[itslieutenanthawkeye]

Lucky Guy

Day 7 of Jeankasa Week: College AU

AO3

Sasha and Connie dragged him forward; they’d loaded him up on caffeine that very afternoon, picked up a set of clothes for him and tried to shave his stubble. Jean hadn’t allowed them to do the latter. The night was starting, and he already felt tired.

Final exams had worn him out, consumed all his energy for the sake of a pass, for the sake of a chance of a good job in the future, a nice home for his family. Not that he had any prospects at the moment, mind you. All he seemed to have was stress, and exhaustion nowadays.

He understood that the two dragging him to the party wanted to help him wind down, but Connie had already started taking over for his family business and Sasha had graduated culinary school a year ago. They were living the adult, independent life already.

Meanwhile Jean was stuck with physics and mathematics. At least the artistic portion part of his classes was fulfilling.

“So, where’s Niccolo?” Connie asked as they got on the tramway.

“He had to close up, but he’ll meet us at the party later.” Sasha said, taking them to the long seat at the back of the tramway. Jean sat in between the two, listening to their chatter in silence. “Aren’t you going to lighten up, Jean? You look like someone just died.”

Jean lowered his head, the repetitive rattling of the cart almost lulling him to sleep. “My will to live has died.”

“Come on, man, is it that bad since Marco left?”

“That traitor.” Jean said, with a tone of voice that spoke longing instead of anger.

Marco and he had decided to study architecture together; Jean driven by his knack for drawing, Marco driven by his desire to be by his side. A year into their university course, however, he’d gotten that scholarship to study photography in Hizuru. A great, one-in-a-lifetime opportunity that didn’t come around twice.

An opportunity that would force them to stay apart for four full years. Since neither had enough money to fly back and forth and Jean had not wanted to give up his studies in Paradis, they’d decided to remain friends. They’d been friends since the beginning, after all.

After the first months of heartbreak, Jean had realized that Marco had left him with just about enough money to pay for three months of rent. Although he couldn’t blame him, Jean had gotten the habit of cursing him lowly for the past year, whenever he was forced to balance his part time job and his ridiculous physics lessons.

“I still don’t understand why you don’t get another roommate.” Connie said, scratching the back of his ear. “Are you just holding out until a cute guy shows up at your door?”

“Or girl.” Sasha added, opening a bag of potato chips sneakily.

“Oi, Sasha,” Jean said, frowning. “We’re gonna get a fine because of you.”

“I’ll pay for it,” Sasha said, waving her hand to undermine the matter. “You guys want some? They’re new spicy ones.”

Jean reached out under her jacket and took a few chips into his mouth. “I take it the restaurant is doing well? With you being okay for paying fines, I mean.”

“Niccolo said that breakfast menu I came out with put us on top. If we keep it up, in about two years we’ll be able to set our next location,” she said proudly, her mouth also half full of chips. She gave Jean a significant look. “We’ll need an architect for the place. And someone here will be almost finished with uni.”

He smiled. “Thanks. I’ll make sure to remind you.”

“You know you can ask for money, right, Jean?” Connie said, resting his back against the seat. “You don’t need to work yourself to death when you’ve got us.”

Another lazy smile came to his face. “I don’t want to be a burden to you guys.”

“You’re more of a burden when you don’t come with us to these things,” Connie said. “First, you missed all barbecue nights at Niccolo and Sasha’s. And now you didn’t want to come, and you know Reiner throws the best parties. His little cousin took down that Galliard guy the last time.”

“Isn’t she a kid?” Jean blurted out.

“She likes to sneak in to get in fights with the college kids.” Connie explained, laughing. “I think she’s been in martial arts since five or something.”

“Now that’s a surprise,” Sasha said, elbowing Connie as the tramway arrived at its next station. Jean looked at the person getting on and his breath caught. Wearing a corseted black dress, her hair up in a high ponytail and wearing a choker around her elegant neck, Mikasa Ackerman stood out as a comet across a blue sky.

“I didn’t think she’d come tonight,” Connie said. “You know, considering Eren.”

“What happened with Eren?” Jean asked.

“Don’t you check her feed?” Connie asked, wiggling his eyebrows. “You know, since you had that huge crush on her in high school and whatnot.”

“I’ve been busy.” Jean said, too tired to try and deny that crush he’d had on her in their school days, the crush that had always irked Marco somehow. “You don’t have to tell me. I’m too busy to be concerned about other people’s drama.”

“They broke up,” Connie said in a gossipy tone, as if Jean hadn’t just snapped at him. “Around six months ago. He skipped town. Didn’t want to be tied down or something, wanted to be free as birds or whatever. He’s backpacking in the continent, I think.”

Jean sat straighter on his seat. That dick. That stupid, nihilistic piece of shit. “Why didn’t you guys tell me? Isn’t Sasha her best friend?”

“Because you disappeared the whole semester, man. That’s why I told you to ask for money instead of working yourself to death,” Connie said, shaking him by the shoulder. “You miss out on parties and gossip.”

“Stop it. She’ll hear you,” Sasha said, lifting her arm to wave at Mikasa. “Hey! Mikasa, over here! Come sit with us!”

Jean felt heat in his cheeks. “Sasha, don’t. She’ll come.”

“That’s what I want.”

“I can’t talk when she looks this pretty.”

Sasha rolled her eyes. “Stop being an idiot, Jean.”

Mikasa’s eyes caught sight of them and she made her way to their seat, not bothering to hold onto anything to keep her balance as the tramway moved forward. They had known each other from high school and little things had changed about the way she moved; she carried herself with the elegance of a swan, and the strength of a mountain. He remembered teasing Eren about her being the boss in their relationship during their very last year of school, when the embers of jealousy had begun to die for Jean, and chuckled lowly at the memory of the enraged response he always received.

“Hi, everyone,” she greeted them. Sasha scooted to the side, and Mikasa sat between her and Jean, close enough for him to smell her perfume. “Are you guys going to Reiner’s?”

“Best parties in Trost.” Sasha said, offering her the bag of potato chips. “Want some?”

Mikasa dipped her hand in the bag. “Aren’t you scared you’ll get a fine?”

“She says she’ll pay it,” Connie explained, reaching over Jean and Mikasa to grab more.

“Sasha,” Mikasa said sternly. “How many more fines are you going to pay?”

“She’s paid more this month?!” Jean said.

“She has. It’s getting ridiculous, she can’t go on a tramway without getting hungry…” Mikasa stopped herself from talking and settled her eyes on him, with a vague surprised expression on her lovely pale face. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’ve been busy with work.” Jean said, shrugging, hoping that she wouldn’t see the blush in his cheeks that look of her had caused. He waited a second, wondering if he should bring up that he had, in fact, seen her. “I saw you, though. Drawing, in the Maria building.”

Understanding washed over her face, and her mouth fell open. “You should’ve said hi, Jean.” She said. “It’s a huge classroom, there’s no way I could’ve seen you.”

“I’m sorry.” Jean muttered. Truth was, he hadn’t wanted her to see him in the state he’d been in two weeks ago. With his double shifts at work and his assignments for the end of the semester, Jean had resembled a walking corpse more than a human.

Mikasa was an anthropology and history major and, much like Jean himself, worked part time jobs. However, with her looks, most of her part time jobs were related to modeling. That morning at creative drawing, she’d been hired to pose for the class covered only by a thin sheet. And despite being a class full of professionals, Jean had still not wanted the girl who resembled a goddess to see him bordering a mental breakdown.

“Have you been getting enough sleep?” She asked him.

“Does it show that bad?”

Mikasa’s mouth made a perfect O in terror. “I didn’t mean to sound like that.”

Jean chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. It shows. If uni wasn’t free, I would’ve gone broke already.”

“You need to look after your health more, Jean. Have you even been eating well? If you don’t sleep and don’t eat well, you’re just going to burn out,” Mikasa said, then froze, grabbing the hand that was going to reach out to him. “I’m sorry. I just sounded like a mother there.”

“You’re right, though.” Jean replied, smiling at her. “I haven’t been eating well. With work—”

“Is that why you haven’t been to any of the barbecues?”

“You went?”

Mikasa nodded. “We missed you.”

Jean’s head came up with a thousand names to call himself in that moment. He missed his friends enough during the semesters without the knowledge that she’d been hanging out with them at barbecue night. “I’ll make it next time.” He managed to say. “Did Armin go?”

“He’s been busy with moving in with Annie.” Mikasa said, sighing. “I don’t think I’d talk to anyone outside work if it wasn’t for Sasha and Mina.”

“Wait, Armin moved out too?” Jean asked, growing concerned. “Did those two just up and left you alone in that huge apartment?”

“Armin left me some money to pay a couple more months’ worth of rent.” Mikasa said, almost apologizing in Armin’s behalf. Jean’s fists clenched automatically; he’d seen how smitten he was with that marleyan girl, but leaving Mikasa alone to pay for that huge apartment by herself…

“Besides, I insisted,” Mikasa added with a low voice. “I didn’t want him to wallow in self pity with me when he has a perfectly lovely girlfriend.”

Jean sighed tiredly. He should’ve known. Even heart broken, Mikasa cared more about her friend’s happiness than her own economic safety. In a way, it was something that made her all the more charming in his eyes.

“Hey, are you two going to ignore us all the way there?” Connie asked, slapping the back of Jean’s head. “Why did you have to sit in between us if you’re just gonna talk to each other?”

“He’s right,” Sasha said, shaking Mikasa by the shoulder. “Mikasa, pay attention to your best friend now! She brought chips for you!”

Mikasa narrowed her eyes in Sasha’s direction. “Since when do you carry food for anyone but yourself, Braus?”

Sasha’s face contracted into a miserable expression, and she threw herself over Mikasa, hugging her while kissing her head. “Not the last name treatment, Mikasa!”

Maybe a few years ago, Mikasa would’ve thrown Sasha back onto her seat. This time, however, she limited herself to exchange an amused look with him and Connie, patting Sasha’s head in a conciliatory manner. “Alright, alright. Control yourself,” she told Sasha. “Don’t you have a boyfriend? What will Niccolo say if he sees you hugging a woman like this?”

“He’ll probably think we look hot.” Sasha replied innocently.

“What a perv.”

“Mikasa!”

_________________

The tramway took them to the west end of Trost, where high skyscrapers and fancy apartment buildings rose into the sky. The elevator took them a whole thirty floors up to Reine’rs apartment. As soon as they walked in, Jean stared at the ceramic floors, the balcony with its hot tub and view of the distant mountains in the island. When Reiner came to greet them with a hug for each, Jean held him by the shoulders.

“When did you get this rich?” He asked, baffled. How had everyone gotten rich so quick before him?

“My mother and I won the alimony trial last month,” Reiner laughed, hugging him again to then make a wide gesture with his arms at the people in the room. From the way he moved, Jean guessed he was already drunk. “Nineteen years’ worth of unpaid alimony, all paid in full!”

The crowd cheered, raising their beer bottles in the air to celebrate his makeshift toast. “Galliard, Pieck!” Reiner said, stumbling back into the crowd, being caught by the two exchange Marleyan students. “Get the karaoke machine going!”

Sasha and Connie dived into the party in full, going over to Mina, who had her hands full while pouring two bottles of vodka into a large crystal bowl filled with fruits and juice. Jean rubbed his temple; getting drunk wasn’t on his list of priorities, not with so little sleep in his system.

He turned to look at his right, realizing Mikasa stood by the door, watching the crowd move around Reiner’s apartment with apprehension. He took a couple of steps in her direction, leaning against the wall with his hands crossed over his chest, perhaps in a subconscious attempt to appear nonchalant. “See anyone you know?” He asked.

“Too many people.” She muttered in response, rubbing her arms. “Sasha said this was going to be like the barbecue.”

One would think that with her looks and strength, Mikasa would be a little more popular. She’d been an introvert since secondary school, shielded behind the personalities of her two childhood friends. And despite that a few people had managed to break through the cold outer layer of her personality (like Sasha, who’s might as well have gone through it with a war hammer) it always seemed to Jean that there as hidden sadness behind her eyes, a brake of sorts that didn’t allow her to express herself to the fullest.

“Let’s go to the balcony,” she said, pulling his sleeve. “Bring beers.”

Jean almost -almost- felt bad for Reiner’s father as they walked along the balcony. Trost had skyscrapers aplenty, but very few had a perfect look of the suburbs and mountains, and very few had an infinity pool with a hot tub included. The place must’ve costed a fortune. He could almost see his own neighborhood from this height.

They found a set of unoccupied pillowed seats at the corner, far from Reiner’s infinity pool, and sat there to watch the city in silence.

“I live there,” Mikasa said after a while, pointing south to a cluster of colorful buildings. “It’s the big tall one, with the red lights.”

“Ah, party town,” Jean said. He and Marco had tried to find a place there, but the rent had been astronomical, given its strategic location near the universities and clubs. “Was it a big change from the suburbs? That’s where you grew up in, right?”

“It was a huge change from my uncle’s house,” she said, her eyes set on the red building, amused at some memory Jean wasn’t aware of. “He was grossed out when he visited last year.”

“College neighborhood isn’t for him?”

“He said it was too dirty,” Mikasa said, sighing. “Although I’m sure he was terrified at the number of teenagers that threw themselves at him. He said I was to visit him from now on.”

Jean giggled at that. “Girls threw themselves at Levi?”

“Apparently he’s got something that makes university students go crazy.” Mikasa said, making a disgusted noise. Jean laughed again; Levi had been their teacher in middle school. How any college girl found him so appealing, he didn’t understand.

“Well, at least you can have fun in that neighborhood.” Jean said.

Mikasa made another disgusted noise. “I was only there because Eren suggested it. It was too loud for my liking. Too many creeps on the streets. And the rent is too high.”

“How did you guys manage to afford that? I mean, Eren and Armin aren’t precisely rich,” Jean said, covering his mouth as soon as he realized what he’d blurted out. “I’m sorry, Mikasa! I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay,” Mikasa said, shaking her head in amusement. “Eren’s brother paid for most of the rent. He works in Marley and sent him money.”

She finished with a sigh, setting her eyes on the floor for a second before taking a sip of her beer. When she turned to look at him, Jean recognized annoyance in her eyes. “Now that he’s gone, Zeke stopped paying for that big chunk of the rent.”

“And Armin moved in with Annie,” Jean finished saying.

“And I’m in that huge place all by myself,” Mikasa said, taking another sip from her bottle. “Scraping my bank account to pay utilities, taking any modeling job that comes up besides working at Sasha’s restaurant, two months behind on rent.”

“Did Sasha offer you money yet?” Jean asked, recalling all the times their friend had tried to hand him checks for his rent.

Mikasa smiled. “A couple of times. But I don’t want to be a burden to her. As good as the restaurant is doing, having her own business can be tricky. One bad luck streak and she’ll be needing that money she offers me.”

“What about a roommate?”

“Nobody I know can afford rent there. I don’t want to disturb Niccolo and Sasha, and Levi has plenty on his plate. And it’s impossible to find a place this late in the year,” Mikasa said, sighing tiredly again. “Do you know how close I am to modeling underwear? A man in this shady company offered me so much money for nudes the other day—”

“Move in with me.” Jean blurted out, and his words were followed by excruciatingly long minutes. Mikasa rested her back against the seat, scrutinizing him with those perfect, serious eyes. “I don’t mean in a weird way. I mean, my rent is much less than yours must be. But ever since Marco left, it’s been harder to afford it on my own. I could use a roommate, and all the people I’ve interviewed were weirdos.”

“Won’t Marco be angry?” Mikasa asked politely. “Won’t he be upset that a girl is living with you?”

Jean smiled. “We’re not together anymore.”

“No?” She said, looking genuinely surprised. “Why? What happened? I thought—”

“Neither wanted a long-distance relationship, or had the money to afford one,” Jean explained, surprised at the lack of pain in his words when he spoke of what had happened. Perhaps, the exhaustion throughout the year had forced his heart to get over a heartbreak quickly.

“Besides,” Jan added, arching his eyebrow in her direction. “I know for a fact that hizuran people are beautiful. I couldn’t deny him having fun over there. So, we decided to stay as friends.”

Mikasa smiled, and Jean blushed. “You’re a good friend.”

“I’m not,” Jean replied, leaning back against his seat as well. “I had no idea about you and Eren. You’re our friend since high school, and I had no idea you’d gotten your heart broken too this year. So, I’m not that good of a friend.”

Mikasa rested her hand at her sides, her pinky almost touching his, leaning back to catch sight of the night sky. “You’re in no obligation to carry anyone’s pain, Jean, let alone mine.”

“What do you mean? You’re my friend.”

“I know. We are friends,” Mikasa said quickly, as if noticing the hint of pain her previous words had caused in him. “What I mean is…I knew it was going to happen. I saw the change in Eren. I knew he wouldn’t want to stay put. He was more in love with the idea of freedom than with me. I should’ve ended it a long while ago. So, no need to carry pain that was dragged on for no purpose.”

“And you didn’t want to go with him?”

Mikasa thought about it for a moment. He could hear Reiner and that Pieck girl singing at the top of their lungs inside, as well as Connie’s laughter. And yet, all his mind was set on was her, how her eyes focused on his as she spoke every word, how a bit of lipstick had smudged on the edges of her mouth due to their drinking. Jean had always been aware of Mikasa’s beauty, but he hadn’t been truly enthralled by it in a very long time.

“I don’t think I would’ve gone,” she said at last. “I love the island. I love my home. I want to have a peaceful life here, grow old here. I like seeing new places, but I don’t want to spend my life wandering. He did.”

Jean nodded, understanding her fully. All he’d ever dreamed of was a nice house in the inner districts, alongside the wife -or husband- of his choosing.

“Besides,” Mikasa said with a quiet laugh. “He never asked me to come.”

“What a fucking idiot.”

Mikasa blinked in surprise. “I’m not mad at him, Jean. You don’t need to be in my behalf.”

“I’m not mad on your behalf,” Jean said, shaking his head, a deep crease forming between his eyebrows, feeling all of that frustration he’d had towards Eren in high school come back in full. “What kind of idiot do you have to be to break the heart of someone like you?”

“Someone like me?”

“You’re fucking amazing!” Jean said, shocked by the confusion in her face. “Mikasa, you’re gorgeous, smart, strong. You can lift a whole hundred pounds without breaking a sweat…who would want to break your heart?”

Another chuckle escaped her throat, and she gave him a look that he could only describe a sweet. “Thank you,” she said, tilting her head to the side. “My heart was breaking the whole last year we were together, though. I guess in a way, him leaving helped me heal.”

“I hope he falls into a pit.” Jean muttered, then shook his head. “No, I hope I fall into a pit, for not noticing you were hurting before.”

“You had your thing with Marco moving away,” Mikasa replied. “If anything, I was the jerk for not helping you like Connie and Sasha did. I was too focused on trying to force Eren to be happy with me.”

“Still, I should’ve helped.”

“You’re helping now,” Mikasa replied, lifting her pierced eyebrow. “You’re letting me be your roommate, aren’t you?”

Jean took a deep gulp of his beer before speaking. “So, you are taking up on my offer?”

“Yes,” Mikasa said, setting her eyes on the section of town in which he lived in. “If you take up on my offer.”

“Which is?”

“The agency wants a couple male models,” she said, elbowing him playfully. “I heard from Sasha how you’re killing yourself at that part time. This money won’t be great, I do warn you, but it will be better, and you’ll have more time to study.”

The color traveled to his cheeks yet again. “I-I’m not a model, Mikasa.”

“No need to be modest, Kirstein,” she said, scrutinizing him again, her gaze sensing a shock of electricity across him. “I saw you on that beach trip we did. You’ve got nothing to envy from the models.”

They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, and Jean’s mind became a storm. Had she just told him she found him attractive? No, it couldn’t be. She’d just said he had nothing to envy from male models. But that was just a creative way to call someone hot, wasn’t it? She had no reasons to call him hot, however.

“Jean, I think—”

“Niccolo!” Sasha’s shouted drunkenly, startling the two in their seats. It wasn’t until they turned in her direction that Jean realized how close their faces had been to each other.

“Alright, alright. Do it again.” Niccolo laughed, sounding quite drunk himself. Sasha grabbed her shirt and tightened it around her waist, showing him her bloated stomach.

Niccolo giggled. “It’s adorable! It does look like you’re pregnant,” he said between snorts. “How many garlic buns did you eat back there?”

“Why are you calling your baby a garlic knot, Niccolo?!” Sasha half-laughed, half cried, only causing Niccolo to laugh harder. They were soon on the floor, struggling to catch their breath because of their laughter, and Jean was grateful for the protective mesh at the edge of the balcony.

“They’re drunk.”

“They’re high.” Mikasa said, casting a glance inside. “Ymir and Historia are here.”

“No wonder they’re high.” Jean chuckled. Historia wore a beautiful pink dress, looking as happy as ever with Ymir’s hands around her waist. Ymir, as always, wore a dark suit. As always, she was more focused on kissing Historia’s neck than the conversation around her. They’d been inseparable since their wedding, and from the sparkling necklace around Historia’s neck, Jean supposed their business was growing well.

Mikasa grabbed his sleeve. “Do you want to go get some?”

“You smoke that stuff?” Jean asked, wondering when he’d smoked anything last.

“Not really.” Mikasa admitted, looking at Sasha laughing on the floor while placing a thousand drunken kisses on Niccolo’s forehead. “It looks like they’re having fun, though.”

“We could do it to celebrate,” Jean said, shrugging. “You know, each of just found a good roommate and we might not be as broke from now on.”

“You are sure about the roommate matter?” Mikasa asked, frowning. “You’ll have to take a few visits from my uncle.”

“I’ll cope.” Jean said, looking at Niccolo and Sasha. “Are you sure? What if Eren returns and gets mad?”

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “He can get as mad as he wants. I won’t care.” She said, and from her tone of voice , Jean knew she was done talking about Eren for the time being. She looked more annoyed at the inconveniences that Eren had caused her than heart broken. Perhaps, the exhaustion had forced her to get over a heartbreak quick, as well.

Jean offered her his hand. “Shall we, my lady?”

“You’re still an idiot,” Mikasa said, intertwining her arm with his. “Thank you, by the way.”

“No, thank you,” he said, using his other hand to take their bottles. He offered one to her and lifted his own. “Toast? For roommates?”

“For roommates.” Mikasa said. Their bottles clang together, their sound foretelling a change of wind for the two, perhaps.

______________________

Gabi walked along the bookstore holding onto Falco’s arm. She and her mother spent summers with her cousin Reiner in the island. And despite this being her fifth year visiting him and despite the luxuries of his apartment, she missed him terribly each time she left. So, she clung to him before and after her journeys, enjoying their time together as if it were a treasure.

“Want to get an ice cream afterwards?” He asked.

“The place by the zeppelin museum?” Falco nodded in response, and Gabi smiled widely. “Alright, then. But it’s my treat this time.”

“Let me buy the comic books this time, at least,” he said, pulling out a book with a few giants on the cover. “This looks good, doesn’t it?”

Gabi frowned at the sight of the naked giants. “I hate historical fiction.”

“It’s not like titans were real, Gabi,” Falco said, running through the pages. “This is mostly political-oriented. See? They even consulted a historian from Paradis to write it.”

“Hey, I know her!” Gabi said excitedly, looking at the picture of the main consultant from the work. “She’s the head of the anthropology museum at the island. She’s Reiner’s friend.”

“Is she?” Falco said, his eyes wide as he stared at the picture of Mikasa, who wore a fancy pantsuit and had her hair up in a ponytail. Unlike at the parties, her make up in this was formal, no bright pink lipstick, no dark eyeshadow. “She’s really pretty, isn’t she?”

“Falco!” Gabi said, then took a second look at the picture. “You’re right, she’s really pretty. Her husband is a lucky guy. He always says it himself.”

“Oh, she’s married?”

“Yeah, she married a friend of hers, I think. It was a late spring wedding, so I didn’t get to go. They’ve got a baby on the way and everything,” Gabi said, scrunching up her nose. “He’s friends with Reiner too, but I can’t recall the guy’s name.”

“Gabi, you see those people every summer,” Falco said, his kind face showing a slight hint of repeoach. “You should at least learn their names.”

“Reiner has way too many friends for me to remember,” Gabi replied, not wanting to admit that she did need to be a little more polite to them. “I do remember he had a bit of a horse face.”

“A horse face?” Falco said, horrified. “This woman here married a guy with a horse face?”

Gabi smiled amusedly. “She seemed quite smitten by him. Every time I go and they’re there, they’re always all lovey dovey. Kissing, hugging, they can’t keep their hands off each other,” she said, tilting her head to the side with a flirty smile. “Besides, it was just a nickname. The man is handsome, and taller than most guys, too.”

“Gabi, don’t talk so kindly about married men.” Falco said, closing the magazine with his cheeks flushed. Although his expression caused her own smile to grow wider.

“Are you jealous?” She teased, then placed a fleeting peck on his lips. “You’re way more handsome than horse face. And, you still have more years to grow. I’m sure that you’ll be taller than him by when we get married.”

“Gabi!” Falco said, flushing harder.

[haikyuuwaifu]

Feel My Love

Genre: Fluff, Drama, Mild Angst

Warnings: Swearing, Sex talk, Sexual Exploration, Questions

Masterlist

Pre-stream| Stream| Stream Pt.2| The towel Incident

The Stream Pt. 2

The stream returned a few minutes later. Lev, legit had a notebook in front of him as he stared at Y/N like she was god. Tsukki continued rubbing her feet as Bokuto and Kenma each took a thigh to lay their head on. “What the fuck did you do today, to have knots like these in your feet?” Tsukki muttered diffing deeply. “I had a shoot this morning that required heels, and I was in them for most the day.” she huffed out checking her incoming notifications. Kenma rolled to his side eyes facing the camera. “We’re going to start with educating the idiot, Yaku will field your questions.” he mumbled sighing as Y/N stroked her fingers through his hair. “Alright baby dipshit, what are your questions?” she asked. Eyes wide he opened his mouth question ready. “What is masturbating?” and with a choke Tsukki, Bokuto, and Kenma started laughing.

“You realize that the internet exists right?” she huffed out, smacking Kenma and Bokuto to quiet them. Lev, nodded. “I mean yeah, I know it exists...I’ve done it before but apparently I’m doing it wrong.” Kuroo found himself squinting eyes almost identical to Y/N’s. “How the fuck do you masturbate wrong?” she asked waving her hand in front of her. “You litcher ally, just wrap your hand around your dick and tug.” she stated. She couldn’t for the life of her figure out where the  disconnect was. Kuroo wouldn’t admit it, but he wondered if her confused face was just as cute as what he was seeing on his screen in front of him.

From the other side of the coffee table, Kuroo could see Tsukki and Yaku leaning on each other tears streaming as they laughed harder. Between breaths Tsukki spoke, “He uses crusty ass socks...and I’m pretty sure...he used butter!” he wheezed falling over into fits of laughter again. Y/N rubbed her head eyes squeezed shut. Opening them, she stared at him blankly. “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?” she muttered a little disturbed. “Look, I’m just a baby! I don’t know how to do stuff like that!” he declared. “You’re supposed to be helping me!” he wailed. Scoffing she replied, “I don’t even know if that’s possible.” “The internet is a great tool to use, for things of that nature.” Writing it down, Lev raised his hand again, “I have looked and there’s just so much there I don’t know where to start.” sighing she shook her head. “First off, buy a fucking fleshlight. Seriously, invest in a good one and fuck that, cause using crusty ass socks ain’t it.” “Secondly, actually read the research, there’s so much out there; but I can’t sit here and tell you what your sexual preferences are.” she mumbled stroking Bokuto’s hair down. Lightly tapping her finger tips against his forehead. 

And Kuroo watched on. He watched when Yaku tried with painstaking patient to explain to Lev what the difference was between a top, a bottom, and a switch. That topic in and of itself took an extra thirty minutes and two visual diagrams. He watched, when Y/N explained to him the difference between giving oral and receiving oral. He watched the entirety of the stream, that lasted an extra three hours. He was shocked if he were being honest. He didn’t know what to expect but that was not it. Before the stream ended he posed a question.

~Living Room~

In the living room, Yaku read through the comments, chuckling as Y/N answered the best she could. Before signing off, he recognized the username almost immediately. “Do we have time fro one more question?”he asked. She nodded, giving him her full undivided attention. “Introvert_catman would like to know what your thoughts are on Virginity in your 20s; if it’s really a big deal to have it or if it’s something he should just get rid of.” Y/N clapped her hands loudly. “I think, that if you choose to remain a virgin, for whatever reason then it is absolutely your right to do that. It’s your body and your choice. It doesn’t matter what society thinks, or what anyone else thinks. It only matters what you think and how you feel.” she nodded towards the camera. “And if anyone has a problem with it, you let me know and I’ll handle it.”she winked waving goodbye to the viewers. 

~Bedroom~

On the other side of the screen Kuroo stared. Body trembling as hot tears hit his hands and his desk. He didn’t know why, but for once in his left; he felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders.

-clearly, Kuroo was floored by the entirety of the stream, but even moreso by the genuine answer Y/N provided. Everyone else in the stream recognized that name, but none of them said anything knowing; that this was what he needed to hear.

-Y/N ended up leaving shortly after, only to realize she had left her keys. Turning back inside she was met with a sight that would forever live in her mind Rent Fucking Free <3

@dabilove27 @elianetsantana @amberisnotcrazy @saturnfarie  @laughingismorefun @exosehun-94 @amarillyis

[thelioncourts]

Do you have capri fic recs for us? :)

this is so late in being answered but, at the time, i hadn’t read a lot of new fic when this was asked. i feel like i have now though so! be prepared!!

Awakening in Arles by toewsyourheart

Damen and Laurent meet. Six years later, they meet again.

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 5953; Warning(s): None

Notes: Canon-Divergent

Keep Your Demons on a Leash by rainydayrambling

Laurent was in a rare mood, insomuch as it could be called a mood at all. He wanted to claw himself out of his skin, tear every scrap of fabric away from him, free himself from the confines of physical reality. Whatever mood that was, this was where he had found himself. Pinned beneath Damen on the bed in his chambers -- a familiar place to be -- still dressed in his shirt and pants, though his jacket had been left somewhere on the other side of the room.

###

Or: Laurent is Big Horny, and he really just wants a solid dicking down. But Damen, being Damen, takes the opportunity to draw things out as long as humanly possible -- and Laurent is very annoyed by this. In a sexy way.

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 6784; Warning(s): None

Notes: UM. so good, so Laurent and Damen. Capri-Canon-Verse.

A ghostly touch by anonymous

When Laurent moves into the cheap apartment that he has rented, he finds that wishes come true in the apartment or something else is living there with him. If he has never been able to speak his desires aloud, then it is good that someone can read his mind and fulfill the desires he never knew he had.

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 16181; Warning(s): Referenced Regent grossness, mildly dubious consent

Notes: ghost!Damen, mystery, ghost sex, even in ghost form damen is a service top, 10/10.

a diadem, cantarella, and a chestnut filly by slutzilla 

a collection of events surrounding the wedding and birthday of auguste, son of aleron, king of vere.

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 27514; Warning(s): Very much Regent grossness

Notes: so i read this just last night and i was screaming (into my pillow). the scenes with the regent are pretty explicit, or, at least, they’re more than just a *fade to black*. that being said, damen and laurent’s first interaction as adults is everything. want to read again.

When the sun is on again by pulsivere

"I think," Damianos said softly, "that you have not been treated the way you deserve."

For the first time in his life, Laurent did not know what to say back.

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 43539 (for now!); Warning(s): PTSD, violence

Notes: i don’t normally rec WIPs but this one is just too wonderful not to. i’ve been following it since ch 1 and i am utterly intrigued. there’s a lot of political stuff going on here, like the books, only it’s a universe in which auguste lives (barely, but not because of damen) and laurent, young, is desperate to keep auguste alive and that means honing in on his analytical nature, adopting a cold-tone of indifference, and hoping people underestimate him, much like in canon. please give it a shot, it’s so good.

greek & godly by sweetricebuns

Though he'd never admit it, Laurent absolutely loves post-gym Damen.

(Damen is attractive. Very attractive. Laurent deals.)

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 2631; Warning(s): None

Notes: the AN is literally just like ‘sweaty damen deserves a blowjob’ and they are correct!! it’s a good body worship fic, let me tell you. and damen deserves worshiped. 

The Time of the Living by Creberrime

Damen realized Arles would likely awaken some things in him. His mind barely drifted to that place anymore but he just knew those thoughts were still locked somewhere within himself.

He knew.

Damen visits Arles for the first time as a King and faces his own return to some unfriendly landscapes.

Rating: Mature; Word Count: 5768; Warning(s): PTSD

Notes: love exploring damen’s first return to arles. him leaving at the end of capri and thinking about how he’d never have to see this place again was so much; he knew he was returning to akielos or dying. he never thought he’d marry the prince of vere and joint-rule the kingdom. and with all that happened there, it’s a lot. it’s like how i also want to explore damen post-KR and in his father’s chambers and visiting his own chambers after his capture there and --

Just to Sit Outside Your Door by rainydayrambling

Damen is the leader of Akielos, a vigilante group set on bringing down mega-corporations that abuse the people of the city of Delpha. Laurent is the heir to DeVere Corp., one such corporation. When a personal assistant position is listed for Laurent, Akielos steps in to make sure Damen gets the job. But being Laurent's live-in assistant presents challenges Damen never anticipated, and through a series of shared stories, secret missions, and midnight plotting sessions, his feelings for the acerbic heir quickly begin to change.

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 57706; Warning(s): Implied/Reference Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape, Violence

Notes: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love it when these long fics just pop up and ruin your life in the best kind of way for at least a week. 10/10. damen is so bad at pretending to be anything but a leader. 

give a little (get a lot) by liesmyth

“Are you going to apologise?”

Laurent jutted his chin out. “I will,” he said. “If you make me.”

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3934; Warning(s): little bit of BDSM

Notes: canon-verse, good fucking sex. what more do we need?

we kiss and then by anonymous

“You must enjoy this immensely,” Laurent said, tone breathless but sharp as though to make up for momentary weakness. “Having me all to yourself, sightless and bound for your pleasure, it must be the only way you can get off—”

“Quiet,” Damen said, and Laurent’s throat clicked when he swallowed.

Damen makes a pretty good match for Laurent.

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 3626; Warning(s): Implied/Reference Child Abuse

Notes: modern au. some good good smut. like. good good. best scene is in ch 2. damen makes laurent talk and it’s like taking laurent’s greatest weapon and using it against him.

got no soul to sell by onekingdomonce 

A favorite? Ancel didn’t know. Damianos was said to have healthy appetites and a wandering eye, not limiting himself with the lovers he took. Laurent, ever the optimist, saw this as a positive. The lack thereof wasn’t an obstacle; it was a position to be filled.

Or: Laurent sends himself as a slave to Akielos.

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 9084; Warning(s): Dub-Con, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Open Ending

Notes: who isn’t a slut for these AUs? it’s depressing and hot and so Much(TM). if the roles really had been switched like this, i don’t think either of them would have came out alive. so good. 

Different by parttimehuman

When Laurent tells Damen to fuck him, Damen says no.

There's a fear inside Laurent that needs to be defeated first, slowly, with countless kisses and worshipping touches, with all the love Damen has to give.

The next time Laurent asks, he will pose the question differently, and Damen won't say no...

Rating: Explicit; Word Count: 17037; Warning(s): None

Notes: idk what to say. it’s incredibly good. like, it’s a character study done via smut. 

fell in love with a war by uptillthree

His chest is still heaving, rising and falling as though he’s finished a footrace. The garden and the pet ring he’d weathered stoically, because both had looked so different in decor and atmosphere compared to the first time he’d been here, a court remade. He’d been given a throne instead of the floor at Laurent’s feet. Laurent had tucked a white flower behind his ear, playful and careless of propriety.

The whipping post had been the same.

Damen returns to Arles.

Rating: Teen; Word Count: 1160; Warning(s): PTSD

Notes: another ‘damen returning to arles.’ with damen’s lack of introspectiveness, i think he wouldn’t assume arles would have an impact on him upon return, not until he got there. 

[chibimyumi]

Summary and mini review: Confidenceman JP - Episode of the Princess

Dear everyone,

Multiple people have asked me what I thought of the movie when it was first released in the cinemas. I did not go to the cinema however, but now the DVD is out. And as promised, I would post a review once I have seen ‘Confidenceman JP: Episode of the Princess’.

This post is NOT going to be spoiler free. So if you want to watch the movie first for yourself: Amazon Japan has the absolute cheapest price, and you can rent it from ￥440 for 48 hours! Amazon ships internationally, but if you wish to use proxy service, use #proxy on my blog to find some options and tips.

Spoiler free section

The premise of the story is fairly simple. The Hu family is the wealthiest family in the world of Confidenceman JP, and the protagonists Da-ko, Boku-chan and Richard plan to get wealthy by tricking that family’s fortune into their own hands. The head of the family Raymond Hu has passed away, and now his three children - Brigitte, Christopher and Andrew - are in line to succeed the astronomical sum of inheritance...

...except apparently not!

Raymond Hu left in his testament to whom he will pass down his name and fortune, namely youngest child, Michelle Hu. (Click here for the clip with subs.) Nobody knows who Michelle Hu is however, and Da-ko and her friends decide to make good use of this.

They find a 16 year old girl nicknamed Kokkuri, and they plan to dress her up as Raymond’s appointed heir. In this plan, Da-ko is to pose as Michelle’s mother, named Misako.

Kokkuri is brought to the Hu estate in Singapore where she undergoes DNA tests and background check - all prepared by Da-ko of course - to verify whether she is indeed the future head of the Hu family. She passes the initial test and undergoes rigorous training to be worthy of being a queen.

The three eldest children of Raymond however, really, really want Michelle gone, dead or alive. Preferably dead.

The eldest child Brigitte does not really care whether Michelle really is her sister, all she cares about is that fake or not, Michelle is but a street rat gone Cinderella, and would bring shame to the family. As the butler Tony is the one who gave Michelle’s test a ‘pass’, Brigitte asks him how he intends to take responsibility should Michelle be unworthy.

The butler Tony is first and foremost loyal to the Hu family and their face, and shows that he is not above killing a 16 year old if it be for the sake of the Hu family’s name.

And thus a game of legitimacy has started!

Spoiler section

The following will be a very simplified summary of the rest of the movie wherein I do leave out some parts. This is NOT a replacement for watching the movie to understand the full story, though it will contain spoilers that can, well...spoil the story.

This section will contain footage gifs and screenshots of the movie that contain spoilers... and admittedly focus disproportionately much on Christofuru.

Kokkuri now named Michelle is very anxious to be exposed. She was originally prepared to face the wrath of her “new siblings”, but had not expected Tony to be totally alright with murder.

When Michelle was to be introduced to the siblings things go about as smoothly as one might think. Brigitte especially is contemptuous towards Michelle and Misako for their ‘commoner status’, finding every way possible to humiliate them out of her life. When Michelle accidentally drops her food on the floor for example, Brigitte tells her to eat it from the floor because that is what animals like her should do.

Christopher is not much better, he shows off his unmatched class in front of Misako and Michelle and adds to his elder sister’s words: “Humans need to show actions that “befit” their status, how do you say that in Japanese again so you will understand, bunsouou (分相応)?” Simultaneously showing off his Japanese proficiency as well as playing the condescension card.

The youngest son Andrew is relatively chill about Michelle, though he also does nothing to stop his elder siblings. He just seems to be enjoying the fact that he is not the youngest child anymore. There is not much information, but judging from Brigitte and Christopher’s big attitude being the eldest daughter and son respectively, to Andrew not being the youngest might be a really nice breath of fresh air.

Especially Brigitte’s attitude really, really gets on “Misako’s” nerves, and she accidentally challenges the family using Raymond’s will. Misako’s and Michelle’s mission now become to prove themselves more worthy than the legitimate children of Raymond.

This however was easier said than done as the children would not budge one bit. Da-ko did try to offer Brigitte to “yield” the position of head of the household in exchange for enough money, but Brigitte simply dismissed them for she had too much disdain to even talk with Misako and Michelle, and even literally attempted murder on them.

Christopher is a man who only knows how to solve problems with money. Before when Christopher learned that Michelle’s mother is “but a poor commoner” he had instructed butler Tony to give her enough money to make her happy, and therefore leave. (Also, I need to say that I just can’t get over how incredibly goooood Furukawa looks as Christopher. The way he slid the telephone across his face is so HNGGGG.)

I am not sure whether Da-ko knows of this conversation between Christopher and Tony, but when she had given up on talking with Brigitte, she attempts to bribe Christopher in the same way. Christopher however, really does not appreciate somebody coming to ‘ask’ money of him. The throws Da-ko two coins and says: “This is all I can give to a beggar.”

Next they try to bribe Andrew into the same plan, but then they find out he’s busy in bed with his boyfriend, and apparently??? too gay to be bribed??? So they give up without trying.

All plans to bribe the siblings unfortunately fail, so instead Da-ko comes up with a new plan. She would make a fake Hu family “royal seal”, swap it out for the real one during the Hu family inauguration ceremony, and later sell the real one on the black market as reward.

The ceremony however was disturbed by a suicide bomber whose life was previously destroyed by the Hu family, and now wants revenge. The suicide bomber is sent into deep depression and solitude because of the Hu family, but he kept himself going for a long time. When he lost the doll his dead wife had made he kept as momento however, he felt that keeping himself strong really was for nothing, and how the Hu family was merely the vampire of a healthy society.

Everyone was in panic, and even though it really seemed that the Hu siblings’ bond could not be worse, big bro and sis were the first to actually try to do something to save their little brother. Brigitte says: “how much money do you want? Name any sum, I’ll give it!” and Christopher screams off the top of his lungs “shoot him! Somebody shoot him!”

Just when the bomber was about to press the button however, Michelle reaches out to him with 🌈kindness🌈 She had found the doll the man lost and kept it with her for she did not know when she could return it to its owner. Now that the owner has showed up, she feels relieved the man can have his momento back.

All this time Tony had suspected that Michelle might be a fake and had conducted his own research. In his research he found a letter written by Raymond Hu addressed to the ‘real mother’ of Michelle. This woman however, was named Siti, not Misako. Tony found out that really nobody knows where the real ‘Michelle Hu’ is, and that the current Michelle is therefore not the legitimate heir. Tony’s original plan was to expose the truth, but seeing how this fake Michelle Hu has spoken so well during the inauguration ceremony and effectively saved the suicide bomber and everyone, Tony changed his mind. Michelle’s courageous attitude and problem solving skills was much better than Brigitte’s and Christopher’s who only know how to tackle problems using money and power.

Finally Tony gathers the children and tells them about Raymond’s last letter. However, Tony had cut out the addressee of the letter, and only told the children the key message.

In this letter - Tony told - Raymond Hu said how he saw his fortune as something of a curse that bound his beloved children, and therefore thought somebody else would be better to inherit the name and fortune of the Hu family. Raymond had supposedly seen how Brigitte had always wanted to just live her life happily as a normal woman, how Christopher wanted to become an entomologist, and how his youngest son had always lived for love. By giving the inheritance to Michelle Hu, his three eldest children would be able to live in freedom.

The siblings hold hands and acknowledge how what they truly wanted was not the inheritance or name, but their father’s love.

The three accept their new young sister, and extend their kindness to her.

Finally Brigitte was able to live her life and accept the affection of a commoner-born man she had been in love with.

Andrew was able to publically date his boyfriend without fear of “shaming the family”

And Christopher was able to run about in the bushes and lay in the grass surrounded by his beloved insects.

The Hu family is all happy now, and Tony is more or less happy. Now that things have been wrapped up and Michelle Hu formally accepted as head of the Hu family, Da-ko and her team need to go.

Tony of course knew that Da-ko and her friends were con-artists. But as they have indeed brought “Michelle Hu” who saved the family, Tony had decided to let Da-ko and her team off without punishment as a way of ‘reward’.

All this time Da-ko and her friends had had rivals who tried to win the ‘Hu Royal Seal’ from Da-ko, and sell it on the black market themselves instead. But then Da-ko outwitted them of course~! And all the drama had been a misconception etc. etc. Honestly...this is SO Japanese I can’t.

To be entirely honest, I found this rival-storyline very distracting and there are just fragments here and there, and I really couldn’t explain this in this post without sitting here all week... so forgive me for leaving that out.

But the movie closes on the ‘revelation’ of how Da-ko had outwitted her rivals, and “all’s well that ends well”.

Review

Plot: 5/10

The plot is really very predictable and follows a rather stereotypical ‘Cinderella saves the day with kindness’ trajectory. If you are familiar with the ‘con artist genre’ in Japanese media, then I honestly would say this movie does a pretty poor job being anything else than that. This genre tends to rely too heavily on ‘misconceptions HAHA’ in my opinion, but in the very least, Confidenceman JP in this movie did manage to at least have ‘logical’ misconceptions that are intentionally planted in the story to be misconceived. Hence, 5/10.

Execution: 7/10

This movie is actually a lot better in execution than I originally thought. I would say that the PVs did a really poor job showing the audience what to expect. The PV contained a lot of very anime-esque moments that - to me - just don’t translate well in live actions. Once you do see the movie though, you see how those anime-esque moments are for the most part there because the characters were imitating anime-esque moments. The movie is still not innocent of really dramatic acting, but that’s just Japanese cinema for you. In the very least - to my very untrained eyes - the editing was not bad, and there were no painful anime CGI moments that suspended all my will of belief.

Acting: 7.5/10

In my opinion the actors in this movie did an ‘overall okay’ job, with some people scoring higher, and other scoring lower than the overall-7/10 I give. In this list I shall give a brief review of the more prominent characters.

Da-ko: 8/10. The main character Da-ko played by Nagasawa Masami did a really good job. She was a slightlyyyy older woman (i.e. not a student) and she really did show how she has some life experience, and sold all her roles as con-artist believably.

Richard and Boku-chan: They had very little screentime and also little to show off; so I would say that in the very least they didn’t do anything that made me go: Wow... you suck. So, no rating here for now.

Michelle/Kokkuri: 6.5/10. She was after Da-ko the main character, and I expected quite a lot from her. Sekimizu did a fairly good job to be a princess of kindness and compassion. PLUS, I could tell how hard she worked to pull off the scenes wherein she was supposed to speak English and Mandarin Chinese fluently. Her English still was quite hard to accept, but it was understandable! (Though, admittedly it’s not super fair for me to judge her English because my English is better than that of the target audience. The target audience were all ooh-and-aahing at her English.)  But I am less impressed by her ‘I’m a poor girl raised on the streets, I am intimidated by everything” act. It was just too much. It was constantly as though I could see her thinking: “can I make this even more sad?”

Brigitte Hu: 5/10. To be honest I really expected much more of her......  Vivian Hsu had her nice moments, but when she was ‘the ice queen Brigitte Hu’ she seemed to only ever have 2 modes: The Diva or the Yelling Diva. I personally had the feeling that somebody like Brigitte would feel like she is ‘above’ yelling, or in the very least I hoped for more nuance in her. Even though she was a bit too ‘obviously Diva’ to me, she did sell the ‘aura’ of a queen fairly well.

Christopher Hu: 10/10. Christopher did not have a LOT of screentime, but whatever he did have, he aced it! Yes, I might be biased, but there’s a reason I became such a huge Furukawa fan, because he aces acting.

Furukawa as Christopher was incredibly cold and whenever he felt like he was too good to listen to someone, you really could see how he was inside his own little world. When he had to show the softer side when he opened up to his family and was able to be with insects unashamed, you really couldn’t help but cheer for him.

Furukawa’s English was still pretty bad. As shared in this post, Furukawa had THREE English coaches to help him, and half of the time I still relied on the Japanese subs to understand him. Though I must say, his intonation in English was very good! It was like his tongue was too stiff to actually pronounce the words, but his perfect pitch helped him get all the intonation right.

What ultimately impresses me most though, is Furukawa’s “non native Japanese” acting. Brigitte’s actress is Taiwanese, so even though her Japanese really is incredibly good, you could hear that she is not a native speaker, and it works perfectly for Brigitte Hu, who is not a native speaker. Andrew’s actor Shirahama IS a native Japanese speaker, while Andrew is not. Shirahama did try to insert some dramatic pronunciations here and there when he speaks Japanese, but it was still very obvious Shirahama was an active Japanese native speaker.

Furukawa though: He said in multiple interviews that he had no confidence in his English, and especially in comparison to the other cast who do speak English very well. So instead Furukawa focused on speaking Japanese as a non-native would, WITHOUT making fun of them. (That’s a real problem in Japan... making fun of non-native Japanese speakers even though most Japanese people are monolinguals...)

Furukawa would put the intonation JUST a bit off, and prolong or shorten some vowels JUST a bit too much. When he said Misako’s name for example, he prolonged the ‘a’, saying ‘Misaako’ instead. Another time he said “mezurashikunai” (not uncommon), also extending the a, saying “mezuraashikunai” instead. I am honestly shocked how accurate this ‘quirk’ is, because in my experience speaking with non-native Japanese speakers with a germanic/latin language background, that is EXACTLY what they do.

Andrew Hu: 9/10. Andrew is a character who really doesn’t care about what the world thinks about him and is actively trying to establish his own person. Shirahama does a really good job giving off this energy, and he has a lot of moments where he is actually scared or sad for example, but is trying to hide it, WHILST trying to hide the fact that he is hiding it. This is some really good micro detail in my opinion!

He did not stop his elder siblings from bullying Michelle, so he is complicit. However, you could see how he would not have made the same choice as Brigitte and Christopher did had he been in their position. There was a certain level of ‘empathy’ in his eyes that his elder siblings just did not have, meaning that in the end when the siblings kissed and made up, he actually made it more believable than the script made it be. Good job!

The only reason he has a 9/10 instead of the full 10 is because his English was really horrible, plus he did not have the ‘good non-native-Japanese act’ to compensate. Being bad at English is of course not a real problem, but you really could see the clear difference between Shirahama acting in English and him acting in Japanese. Whenever he was acting in Japanese it was just really good, but whenever his scene was in English you could just see how he was squeezing every drop of his energy into saying the words... sad.

Tony: 7/10. Shibata is not bad at what he does, but I think the character/script just gives him too little to work with even though he is arguably the real ‘antagonist’ in this movie. More so than Da-ko’s rivals effectively.

Tony is just always the stoic butler and he was always ‘function first, person later’.

Shibata never took me OUT of a moment, unlike Shirahama’s bad English acting, Brigitte’s shouting and Michelle’s cutesy-woobie act though. So still I would give this guy a 7/10.

Well, that was that. The movie was enjoyable, but I wouldn’t call it a GOOD movie. The story is quite predictable, as are the characters. The morale kind of reminded me of a children’s story of: “real fortune is love, not money”, or “love can cure greed.”

Though not a good movie, it is definitely a must if you’re a Furukawa fan, and especially if you speak English and Japanese, because then you can truly see how much effort he poured into the role.

If you don’t understand Japanese however (and you don’t mind his terrible English), then seeing him as this ice-cold, rich bastard is a real treat too!

Conclusion: If you’re a collector, buy the DVD, it’s not expensive! If you’re not, then I really do recommend renting it via Amazon. For 440-550 JPY it is definitely worth it!

[theymakemegayer]

Reputation: Chapter 4

a/n: I was suppose to upload this tomorrow, but  I got excited after I finished writing this 

Reputation Chapter List

******

It had been a few days now since me and the football team started practicing for our halftime performance on the Kickoff Day. 

 "And... POSE!" I exclaimed as the music stopped and we held our final pose for a few seconds. I examine each of their poses through the mirror in front of me.

 I grinned feeling contented, "Great job guys! Let's take a break first." 

 The boys scrambled into different places as I plopped down on the floor on the side. I rummaged through my bag and gulped down from my water tumbler.  A knock from the door before Zoey's smiling face showed up. 

 "Hey guys! Who wants some pizza?" That got an immediate response from the boys as they crowd Zoey with enthusiastic cheers. 

 A few minutes later, Zoey sat beside me two pizzas in her plate and handed me the other, "You've been working hard Bea. Eat up." She grinned making me smile in return as I look at her.

 "Thanks for the treat Zo. You're officially my dream girl."

 Zoey giggled. "It's just your hunger talking Bea."

 "Don't care, you just know how to take care of me."

 A smirk ghosted on her lips and her eyes gleamed, "What can I do you certainly are my dream girl too. You really are stepping up towards Poppy huh."

 I shrugged my shoulders and swallowed a bite of pizza, "Someone just needs to remind her what it is like to not be on top."

 "Are you starting to see why I hate her?" 

 I drunk a water first before I looked at Zoey, "Hate is a strong word you know, but she does annoys me." Memories of my last encounter with Poppy flashed in my mind. The way we sassed each other out, and how she successfully get through me.

 Zoey chuckled, "She is annoying, but you haven't explained to me this plan of yours," She gestured on the boys and me, "performing with the football team on the halftime show huh." She smirked, "Way to steal the spotlight."

 I smirked too, "Zo she annoyed me too much last time let her have a taste of her own medicine."

 A proud look flashed in Zoey eyes making me feel all warm inside, "I'm glad you understand me Bea." Her smiles turned into something soft.

 "Of course Zoey. You're my best friend."

 "You know at first I thought you'll start to develop a crush on her which will be bad news. That girl has no heart at all." She reached out and held my free hand, "I don't want you to get hurt." 

 I gasped, "Me? Having a crush on her? Fat chance Zo. Besides I rather have a crush on you." I wriggled my eyebrows playfully.

 Zoey withdrew her hand from me and gently pushed me giggling, "Careful with all the jokes I might believe you."

 I smiled at her and looked at her in the eyes, "You don't have to worry about me getting hurt Zo."

 "Can't help not to look out for my best friend, you know."

 "And for that I am lucky to have you."

  ****

It was finally the Kickoff Day. I just had an interesting time with Ina a while ago. Helping her out from that Lexi girl was totally unexpected, but I'm glad to had a chance to hang out with her today. It was refreshing compared to the stress I faced when I found out someone sabotaged my throne - that was definitely Poppy's dirty games. It was Zoey who saved me again from trouble. Who would had thought me and the football team would be performing with Jaylen Riaz at the end.

 I threw a kiss on the camera before me and the team strike a pose as the music ended. The crowd gave us a standing ovation and loud cheers erupted from them. Not even a few minutes when Poppy erupted, "No! NO! NOOO!!! Everyone shut uppp! This is all some sick joke!"

 The crowd hushed. Carter walked towards her a wide grin on his face, "Babe have you seen the performance? I worked hard on my dancing--"

 Poppy interrupted him bursting out, "How dare you help her out? Are you really that stupid?! We're officially over."

 Gasps erupted while Carter stumbled with his words, "Wh... huh?"

 "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING! KICKOFF DAY IS MINE!" Poppy yelled.

 I sighed, "Poppy aren't you tired yet?"

 "Bea Hughes! I don't know what tricks you've been playing, but I will ruin you." She hissed before lunging at me, but the entire football team grabbed her. The crowd gasped and started to booed at her. I watched ad Poppy stomped her feet and left the scene still raging. The crowd started chanting my name, but all I can feel was the hole in my chest as my gaze locked on Poppy's retrieving figure. 

 "Hey are you okay?" Zoey's voice brought me back to the noise of people chanting my name. 

 I looked at her and smiled, "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

 "That's what I thought too." Zoey grinned. "This calls for a celebration!" She exclaimed.

 I beamed, "We talking pizzas? Sangrias? Oooh, spa trip?"

 "And more. Not to forget watching videos of Poppy's meltdown."

 I tried not to grimaced," Maybe we should get going now to get the celebratory starting."

 "I like that." Zoey smiled linking her arm on mine and dragging me.

 When we got out of the stadium we came face to face to the raging storm, named Poppy. She was surrounded by Alphas and Zetas as she shrieked.

 "Why do you think I keep you Trish? I told you to do everything possible to make sure I beat Bea Hughes."

 "What else should I do? Chloe and Trixie already made sure to sabotaged Bea's throne." Taylor reasoned out.

 "Are you really that stupid? Do you need to be told every single thing before you do something?" Poppy yelled.

 "Woah chill out Poppy." Luis spoke.

 Poppy's eyes found me from the couple of people around us and her face grew a different shade of red. 

 "Right just in time for you Trish! Here's your hero. Why don't you kiss her ass just like what you all been doing today!"

 I calmly look at her, "Poppy calm down. Take a breath. You don't want to do this to your image. Just walk away."

 "Oh here we go again. Playing like a saint and sucking up to the football team."

 "I put on a performance Poppy. You know just like what you did before me." I said as a matter of fact.

 "Do you think I am as stupid as these idiots? You only performed because I did."

 "And? What's the problem with that?"

 "The problem is seeing your cheap face where ever I go."

 I scoffed fighting the smirk that was threatening to spill and the words that wanted to come out from my lips. Is that a problem? Am I starting to live in your mind - rent free- Ms. Min-Sinclair?

 All thoughts left my mind as my eyes momentarily grew wide when Poppy lunged at me, but the boys grabbed her.

 "Yo. It's just a dance Poppy. You're crazy." Erik said and that was the start of the mob throwing insults towards her. 

 I frowned. "Leave her alone. She's already gone through enough."

 She glared at me, "Oh cute. Saint Bea emerges again. Excuse me while I go hurl." She pushes everyone on her way as she left.

 Zoey suddenly whispered, "Hey I think I know what's our next plan will be. That assistant of Poppy is the plan." 

 "Huh? Okay..." I mumbled while I stare at Poppy's retrieving figure. 

 Zoey bumped my shoulders lightly, "Bea are you really okay? You're quite spacing out."

 "Me?" I paused gathering myself together. "Yeah I guess I'm just tired."

 Zoey looked at me worriedly, "Okay should we head back to our dorm?"

 I smiled a little, "I think I'll want to walk around for a while Zo. Take a breather."

 "Okay. Call me when you're about to go home. I'll prepare our mini celebration." She grinned.

 "Thanks Zo. You're the best." I gave her a hug before strolling my way away from people.

 Million thoughts were running on my mind as I stroll around the campus, but it all led to one person in the end, that Poppy. I should be happy. I annoyed her back. In fact i got into her skin so bad she was lashing out, but my emotions were a jumbled mess. 

 I round the corner in the Law building. A place I'm not really familiar with. I think it was my first time rounding up in this area of the school. I can't even spot any student anymore. It felt peaceful and not suffocating after hours of being surrounded by cheers and people. 

 I halted in my step when I arrived at the lobby of the building. Several plastic bench chairs are lined in the center. That was when I noticed the lone figure sitting at the back row. She had a blonde hair and wore a pink jacket. Poppy?

 I tried to ignore the loud thumping of my heart when I mentioned her name on my mind and focus on walking closely towards her. 

 "Poppy?" I spoke once I was standing beside her. 

 Her head was bowed a little, and her hair was hiding her face from my view. She remained silent.

 I decided to speak again, "Is that you?"

 Our surrounding was so quiet that it made me heard her quiet sniffles. I watched her hands flew to her face, probably wiping her face. My eyes grew wide in realization. Was she crying?

 Her eyes were red and puffy when she looked at me and glared, "You're still not finish ruining this day Farmsville?" Her voice sounded hoarse.

 I felt something inside of me break seeing her like this. I clenched my jaw, trying to bury the hundreds of emotions that swarmed my heart.

 "I am not here to fight with you. I just happen to pass by the area." 

 "Right. Just like the last time." She mumbled.

 "May I sit beside you?" 

 She threw me a glare, "As if you'll listen if I say no."

 I gave her a small smile, "I wouldn't bother asking if I'll only do what I want."

 Her gaze never faltered, scrutinizing me, "Fine. Sit."

 I sat on the bench maintaining a safe distance from her. She doesn't talk and so was I, but I was dying to talk to her. To apologize, to ask anything to make her feel better - maybe I can give her a hug? I tried to erase that thought and bury that urge as I started fidgeting with my hands on my lap.

 Poppy's voice cut the silence, "Talk Hughes." 

 I looked at her, my eyes wandering on her side profile. Her brown eyes gleaming with unshed tears, her cheeks slightly wet with tears, her pointed nose, her fair skin, and her lips that were pouting. She wanted me to talk, but I felt like I can’t find my voice. Seeing her, this close - my ears were buzzing with the humming beat of my heart.

 She turned her face and our eyes met. She raised an eyebrow, "What now?" 

 I gulped thickly. You're beautiful. I shook my head, "Sorry. I just didn't know what to say."

 Poppy scoffed. "Stop pitying me."

 I frowned, " I am not."

 She crossed her arms in front of her chest, "Really?"

 "Look, I have my conscience. I feel guilty on how today went for you. I feel like my actions had domino effects and you're the one who caught all the bad stuff."

 "Feelings are a sign of weakness and here you are telling that to me? Your enemy." She held my gaze an unreadable expression flashed her eyes.

 "Enemy?" I raised an eyebrow. "Funny. I don't consider you as something like that."

  "Stop lying. We've been arguing and fighting ever since you came here, and yet I am not your enemy? Are you dumb?"

 I chuckled, "You attacked me for no reason Poppy. That's why I annoyed you for no reason too."

 "Excuse me? You're aiming for my throne and I can't let you have that."

 I sighed, "In reality I don't care about the throne. I am just curious as to why you hung to that number 1 spot like your life depends on it."

 "And what if my life really depends on it?"

 I shook my head, a little sad at how Poppy said those words, "Then that's sad."

 "What?" She asked annoyed.

 "I said what i said. You're not always gonna be number 1 Poppy. That's just how life works."

 "You're wrong Hughes. I am a Min-Sinclair anything below number 1 means I lost, and I don't lose."

 I stared at her my eyes started to wander again on her face, and then I saw something I had never seen before. On the upper left of her forehead there was a small scar. Unconsciously my hand reached out for it. Poppy slapped my hand bringing me back to the present. Ouch that sting. She was glaring at me, a flash of anger in her eyes. I'm used to angry Poppy, but her eyes right now spoke a hundred emotions of anger that made me shiver.

 "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." I spoke in a hurry sensing I stepped on a sensitive topic.

 "Don't you ever mention that to anyone." Her voice sounded colder this time.

 "Okay, but where-"

 "And don't you dare ask me about it. Again."

 I nodded, "Alright. I'm sorry again."

 She stood up, her glare not wavering, "My patience had wore off. I'll be leaving Hughes." She didn't wait for my response and started to walk away.

 "Wait Poppy..." My lips worked, words already out of my mouth before I can even think what I was doing. 

 She halted in her steps which I was surprised. Poppy looked back at me, eyebrow raised waiting for what I was going to say. 

 But truth was I don't have anything to say. All I had was jumbled emotions and a struggling phrase that rose into my mind, but I fought back for it not to be said out loud. 

 I want to talk to you more. Instead I said the words, "Never mind."

 Poppy groaned, "You're annoying Hughes." Before she sauntered away from my sight. 

[rokutouxei]

the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]

The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop's most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo's pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!

[ masterpost for all chapters ]

CHAPTER 2 OF 22

In a small house in the better neighborhood of the university, a young man is beginning to dream. He’s chasing the afterimages of a vision he’d caught, trying to see if he can get it down on paper. It’s scary, but it’s exciting. He’s prepared his materials—the canvas, the pen, the paint—and he’s closed the door, and opened the shutters, letting the morning light flood the studio-cum-library in their small, rented home.

Vincent holds the pen gently, like a prayer, in his hands, before beginning to sketch.

--

The thing with living in such a small university town such as this is that you cannot escape the inevitable.

And by inevitable, that means you know someone who knows someone, and everyone kind of vaguely knows each other in some way or another—through a club, or a shared favorite hang-out spot, or an extracurricular. Everyone is someone’s something by a degree or another.

She’s learned this in her first year at university, but the lesson’s about to be driven a little closer to home today.

She’s seated in the café as usual, annotating a book when Vincent approaches her, a small brownie in hand. It’s not the ones they serve regularly, cut on a smaller bit, and maybe it’s one of the edges or corners in the baking tray. “Can I offer you a little snack?” he asks, offering the plate in front of her.

Looking up at him through round-rimmed glasses, she blinks. “Oh? Thank you, but—what’s this for?” she asks, as Vincent puts the plate down on a free spot on her table. He takes a seat on the free chair next to her.

“Can I ask you a favor?”

Modeling isn’t exactly her forte, but Vincent insists that he doesn’t need a full-blown model for his project—besides, he couldn’t have afforded it, even if he did need one. He’s working on “something”—by the rumors in the art department, she assumes it’s for his thesis, his capstone project, but who knows?—and he needs a little help on the lighting. He’s working with some tricky fabric, draped down bodies, and he isn’t quite sure how it should come out.

“It’ll only take two hours tops,” he promises, “if you wouldn’t mind. It’s not nude or anything risque, I just need to be able to see how the fabric drapes accordingly to the light. I’ll treat you to dinner afterward?”

Here’s the thing—one does not exactly say no to Vincent. The university town is small enough as it is, and everyone knows Vincent because he’s a legend in the art department. You do not turn down the offer to be painted by a master, or at least that’s how the logic goes. But at the same time, Vincent is always sunflowers and soft smiles, and when he looks at her like that… the only thing that comes out of her mouth is “Of course I will!”

“I’m sorry this is all so sudden,” he says sheepishly. “I just had this idea a bit back, and I’ve been wanting to work on it…”

“No, it’s okay,” she replies instantly. “You’re always reserving my favorite seat for me anyway, and you’ve always been so nice to me. We’re basically friends now, and friends do this for each other, yes?”

Vincent’s eyes glow in a way you’ve never seen before, and it makes you flush a little. “Friends? Of course, yes, thank you so much.”

His shift won’t end in another hour and a half, so he treats her to coffee (“you didn’t have to!” “it’s on me, I swear!”) as she’s waiting for him. She picks up her beautiful, hardbound copy of 1800s English literature, now lovingly highlighted and with many flags at certain pages, and begins to read, scribbling notes on a separate notebook.

By 5:15 Vincent is ready to go, dressed out of his uniform and into his casual clothes, a sweater one or two sizes too big for him over a shirt and some pants. He calls out her name gently, hand leaning on her table.

And she stares.

Vincent isn’t her type—he’s a little too angelic for her liking, as she does prefer those on the more rugged side—but she won’t deny that he’s attractive. She had never seen Vincent in casual clothes before—she’d seen him hang up his barista apron at the end of shifts before, but never actually caught him go home—and she pauses for a moment when he arrives at her table.

“Are you okay?”

“Haha,” she says awkwardly, coughing her shock away. “Yeah, I almost didn’t recognize you, is all. Let me just pack up?”

She hadn’t expected it, but she should have—that her friendly local barista, the legend of the art department—is living smack dab in the middle of their small town, at the perfect distance to everything. In a house, too, not a small dormitory. It’s a beautiful one painted white with a small garden and a porch outside, a tree standing tall and providing shade on the house, and a small classic mailbox in front—it looked like a house that belonged in the suburbs instead of in the middle of this very schoolish town. She can’t help the small whistle of appreciation when they get there.

“Our father knew the landlord,” Vincent explains, as he unlocks the door. “So we get it rather cheaply. Careful of the landing.”

We? She catches the plural but doesn’t get to ask, as she enters the apartment and marvels at it. It’s not extravagant, but it’s still rather fancy, considering she stays in a small studio room. There are paintings hanging on the walls—Vincent’s, she assumes—and everything is in attractive, warm colors. What catches her attention, however, is the small framed photo on the side table by the sofa, of two boys on a swing, a blond one (Vincent?) pushing one with brown hair (a cousin?).

“Five and three,” Vincent says, by way of explanation. She’s about to ask him who the other child is, but Vincent interrupts her. “Do you need water? A break?”

They’d walked quite a bit from the café, after all, and while she had her bike with her, Vincent didn’t, and so she just rolled it next to her throughout the whole 30-minute walk. “No, I’m okay. Where’s your studio?”

Vincent beams. “Here, come.”

They walk down the hall and enter a door to the left, and the studio opens up to her. The wall on the right has a row of high bookshelves, all nearly filled to the brim with books on all sorts of different topics. The wall where the door is has a layer of corkboard attached to it, where a multitude of prints and photos and papers with scribbles and notes are pinned and strung together. Most of the room’s floor is covered in some kind of paper—newspaper, craft paper—to protect the wooden slats below. There are easels stacked at the far side of the room, but facing away, so she can’t exactly see what is on them. And then, there is the set-up for Vincent’s current project: an easel in the center of the room with the sketch of a woman’s figure; a white sheet draping from the ceiling to the floor, serving as a backdrop, in the far corner; a steel circle hanging by the ceiling, the kind people sit on; black craft paper laid on the floor below it; and on top of it, a small stool, a fabric in beautiful vermillion, and some fairy lights.

“Welcome to the studio,” Vincent says, guiding her inside. “Sorry for the mess, I was working this morning.”

“No, it’s okay,” she says, carefully stepping in. “It’s so interesting to see your studio, where all the magic happens.”

Vincent flinches at that, but doesn’t make any other comment about it. She contemplates if she has to apologize, but doesn’t know exactly what she’ll have to apologize for. “No magic here,” Vincent mumbles.

He asks her to get comfortable on the wooden stool and maybe get a feel for the fabric, as he sets up his camera. The plan was this: she’ll get into the poses he needs for his project, he will take a couple photos for reference in different angles, and then he will take her out to dinner.

The time passes rather uneventfully, and pretty quickly, because the poses aren’t entirely too tricky on her end. A raised arm here, a dangle of hair in this direction, a tiptoe towards this—Vincent is gentle in maneuvering her around and quick in taking his photos, and in an hour they’re ready. Vincent thanks her profusely for her help as he’s packing away, and she laughs as she says “Well, you’re treating me to food, so it’s paid work.”

“Dinner, yes, of course,” Vincent nods, putting the camera back on its place on the bookshelf. “I actually got my brother to save a spot at, erm, my favorite place, if you don’t mind? It’s Greek food.”

“Oh, that’s fine! I didn’t know you had a brother, Vincent.”

“I do, he’s the sweetest thing,” he answers with a beam of a smile, so much so that for a moment she falters about joining them for dinner. One Vincent was bad enough for her heart as it is, but two of them? That’s not good news is it?

Except, yet again, the rule of not saying no to Vincent applies, and so after a bit of tidying they’re already on the way to the restaurant. An actual restaurant, mind you, not some cheapo fast food that Arthur treats her to. (“This isn’t fair, you know? Just because I’m not in your menu of dateables and bangables doesn’t mean you treat me disproportionately to everyone else.” “Stop complaining and eat your McDonald’s.”) It’s a small one, admittedly, but most of the stalls in this town is, anyway. Vincent peers into the building and then pulls her in, inviting her inside.

Vincent pauses for a moment. “I’ve been told he has quite an… aggressive face, but don’t be afraid of him okay?”

“If he’s your brother, there’s no reason to be scared,” she says with a smile. For a moment she is looking for a twin puff of sunflower blond hair, but then, remembering the photos, she begins to look for an equally-fluffy brown mop of hair, and just at the exact moment she comes to the realization—

“Hondje?!”

“Theo?!”

--

The thing with living in such a small university town such as this is that you cannot escape the inevitable.

It’s a silly thought. She even finds it rather ironic that that is the wise saying about making friends and getting to know other people in this university because running away is the one thing she wishes she was good at.

See, the first time she saw Theo, she thought, wow, this guy looks so insufferable. I can’t believe he works here, and I have to see him every week. This is the worst.

Until it isn’t.

She knew, the moment she made eye contact with Theo across the table in that homey Greek restaurant, that that event would change her life in ways she wouldn’t have—and couldn’t have—imagined. She just didn’t know how yet. Vincent was surprised that he didn’t need to introduce the two of them to each other, and with an irritated grumble, Theo had explained that she was a frequenter of the bookstore, taking a jab at her having no other friends and spending so much time around books instead. She quips back and says the reason they don’t have customers is that Theo’s face is enough to sour anyone’s day, and so no one but her comes anyway.

But Vincent is not the kind of person to have this happen, so instead, with a truce, his kind insistence, and irresistible smile—dammit!—she and Theo, instead, become friends. Good friends. Wait, no—they become begrudging friends.

But they don’t talk.

Theo doesn’t even give her his phone number.

No, they’re not friends. Not yet, anyway. Theo makes a show of only putting up with all of this for his brother, as he continues to ignore even the most cordial of texts like “thank you for putting a rush-order on my book!”, throwing insults back and forth with her in the bookshop. But eventually, both of them find a rhythm, a little liminal space of friends by circumstance and not by desire that they’ve agreed on.

That is until they begin the book exchange.

[insomnihan]

han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Boca”

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG HAD THE F UCKING NERVE THE AUDACITY THE GUMPTION AND THE GALL TO BE AS BOMB AS IT IS literally the moment i heard that rain and thunder i was f cukity F CIKED the way that they just know how to work with more gentle verse parts and theN PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE WITH THE CHORUS ITSELF SPEAKING OF THE CHORUS ITS F UCKING CRAZY??????????? THAT????????? GODDAMN GUITAR????????????? OWNS MY ASS??????????? OH MY F UCKING GOD JUST THE WAY GAHYEON STARTS IT OFF TO EASE US INTO IT HMMMMMMMMMM- THE ABSOLUTE POWER IN DAMIS FIRST RAP........... SHES SICK™ FOR THAT!!!!!! ‘HOLD UP’ YEAH HOLD UP I WASNT READY DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN DAMIS AND GAHYEONS RAPS IN THE SECOND VERSE YOU CANT EXPECT TO BE OKAY AFTER THAT™ ARE YOU SERIOUS- just all of their voices............ the way theyre just so powerful and emotional and you can tell............. siyeon pls your high notes holy f uck-

WHAT IM SAYING Is this song was such a good follow up to scream like F UCK i literally ask after every comeback ‘will they top this’ and tHEN THEY DO

i was so boo boo the fool like i really thought since diamond and breaking out fell into the same genre that it wouldnt be intense like This im 🤡

SO I WILL BE USING THE COMEBACK SHOWCASE TO TALK ABOUT THE DANCE BC OH MY GOD- so they all said that this song was their hardest dance yet................. queens of dance I F UCJUNG SWEAR

FIRST OF ALL THE BEGINNING POSE IS EVERYTHING™

THE PART AFTER THAT WITH DAMI PULLING YOOHYEON INTO HER SINGING PART....................... i just like it a lot

HONESTLY DAMIS ENTIRE PART

YOOHYEONS PART BEFORE THE CHORUS

THE ACTUAL CHORUS

both the upside down triangle hand symbol AND then for ‘boca’ where they make their hands like a mouth................... Iconic™

GAHYEON WITH THE FLAGS?????????? HELLO????????

and then dami................................. i-

the flags............... sua and jiu and yoohyeon.......... Thinking A Lot™

this part with jius bridge lives rent free in my brain

sua sitting on the dancers shoulders and singing the most hard hitting lyrics in the song thats it thats the bullet point

just................. the WHOLE ENDING

shouldve really just put the entire damn video here but i already wrote it out

THEY NEVER PLAY AROUND WITH THE VISUALS EVER!!!!!!!!!!! THE COLORS ARE ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND VIBRANT THE SETS ARE SO DREAMLIKE???????? I WISH I CAN FULLY EXPLAIN IT BUT ALL I COULD REALLY DO IS DESCRIBE THEM AS THEY ARE- THE PINK SET THEY DANCE IN IS SO COOL TO ME THE PLACE WITH THE TREES AND GRASS AND THEYRE DANCING IN THE F UCKING WATER AND WHERE GAHYEON HURTED US WITH HER RAP AND WHEN THEYRE ALL JUST STANDING AROUND LIKE BEAUTIFUL PRINCESSES AND WHERE YOOHYEON SAT AMAZINGLY- AND WHERE SIYEON STANDS WITH ALL THE BUSTS WITH TAPE OVER THEIR MOUTHS THE SYMBOLISM™!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN WHEREVER DAMI WAS IN GENERAL.................. [REST]

TIME TO SHOW WHICH SCENES I LIKED

THE WHOLE F UCKING THING MOVING ON-

T H E M

okay................................ everyone who follows me KNOWS that im just so whipped for all these women if i was a Brave Bicth™ id tell them they were all beautiful every day to their faces but if this is your first time seeing this CHAOTIC AS F UCK series of posts then-

LOOKATTHEMBEINGBEAUTIFULANDETHEREALPRINCESSESINONESCENETHENBADBITCHESINTHENEXTAREYOUKIDDINGMEICANTBELIEVETHEYREALLYOUTHERELOOKINGLIKETHIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JIU

BELLE????????????? BELLE IS THAT YOU???????????? why does Miss JiU over here just got to be one of the most beautiful women in the GODDAMN UNIVERSE I CANT STAND THIS LOOK AT THIS PICTURE!!!!!! i wont lie to yall but it was gonna be this one or the one kinda at the beginning where shes wearing red..................... and....................... her neck- THE RED IS FIRE BY THE WAY AND THE SAME OUTFIT BUT IN LIKE R.o.S.E BLUE WITH THE CHAIN STEP ON ME- and the black one that we dont really see a lot of.................. the sheer of it............ bicth-

SUA

yes it was absolutely necessary for me to use this shot

OFC MY BICTH ASS NEARLY FELL OFF HIS F CUKING BED WHEN SHE SHOWED UP IN THE TEASER JUST COVERED IN WATER I SWEAR I COULDNT BREATHE FOR LIKE TEN MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first of all the red and blue ones just one sleeve and those shorts and all those belts I DUNNO JUST THIS WOMAN AND CROP TOPS OKAY IM LOSING IT IM THIS 👌 CLOSE and then the white dress i cant stand her i really cant-

SIYEON

HOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO MISS LEE SIYEON OUT FOR MY NECK I SEE- i just wanna point out first that i love her love for pants like the rest of the outfits are gonna be worn for performing and they all have those baggy pants she loves so much pls shes everything im 🥺🥺🥺 tho the braids and the high ponytail without and yknow what WITH BANGS TOO im........................ i cant stop staring at this picture-

YOOHYEON

SHE IS NOW A LARGE AND SCARY DOG-

this specific hairstyle in the screenshot........ the braids the safety pins with the brown and pink or whatever it was like three different colors just the Serve™ she is serving in that with that outfit and the back of her skirt is long than the front im weak in the knees for you maam- oH THAT F UCKING RED ONE GRABBED MY NECK NAILS INTO MY SKIN AND ALL AND ENDED ME HONESTLY and that chain necklace.......................... keeping words to myself-

DAMI

SHES SO HOT AND FOR WHAT my god this blue hair she is WORKING IT- i had such a difficult time even finding a good screenshot of her and i know the moment i just decided with this one that i was just gonna keep getting distracted by it and i am rn as i type this GOD- the all black outfit she shows up in the very first time in the mv..................... [REST] the blue one with the thing on her thigh with the low ponytail................. [REST x2] herself....................... [D*AD]

GAHYEON

POPULAR OPINION: THIS IS HER ERA

THE MOMENT SHE JUST SHOWS UP RIGHT AT THE START SHE GRABBED US BY THE NECKS AND LET US KNOW SHES KILLING IT LIKE THIS this pink hair is doing her like two million favors like the space bun look right here???????? STUNNING just left long and straight??????? BEAUTIFUL the fit with the beige(?) sweater and skirt and that black outfit during her rap verse the pink dress iM D*AD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (short thoughts and parts i liked)

Intro

A SLAPPER WE LOVE TO HEAR IT-

Break the Wall

oH BICTH the way this song took me back to my edgy middle school years listening to music like this MY GOD THEIR VOICES SOUND SO COOL ON IT like they were using megaphones and s hit THE CHORUS IS SO GOOD IM GOING FERAL™ I FEEL LIKE I CAN CONQUER THE WORLD WITH THIS-

Can’t Get You Out Of My Mind

ALL ENGLISH SONG BICTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its all about the yearning its so catchy and good i was literally already singing it randomly right after the highlight medley like honestly this and break the wall are so nostalgic highkey- their pronunciation is so so SO good!!!!

Dear

JIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭 IM SO SOFT DONT LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she wrote this herself and its just so full of love and thankfulness and gratefulness and appreciation for insomnias SOMEONE PROTECT HER- and then the rest of the members singing so gently and beautifully there are real tears in my eyes...............

LIKE im just gonna say it every comeback now i guess THEY👏NEVER👏DISAPPOINT👏EVER👏 i love being an insomnia so much yknow??? love them as people love them for always providing content and always showing that they love and appreciate their fans and how they always make me laugh and feel better and most importantly of all is THEIR MUSIC not implying anything with capitalizing and bolding that............... unless they are so incredibly talented and show how versatile they are in so many different genres AND THEYVE GROWN SO MUCH IN POPULARITY THIS YEAR AND ARE NOW BEATING THEIR OWN GOALS im so happy to be their fan 😊😊😊 this just became a paragraph of me and how much i love them ANYWAY-

IN CONCLUSION: WHERE IS THE LOVE?????????? ITS BEING DIRECTED AT THIS ALBUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and AS TRADITION:

[asphalt-cocktail]

For the Sake of Content- Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Pseudonym: Sugar

Summary: After walking in on your long-term boyfriend, Harrison, cheating on you and then losing your job the following day; your find yourself broke, jobless, and single for the first time in a long while. In order to make ends meet, your best friend since college, Freddie, suggests you start soliciting explicit photos of yourself, not only to help boost your confidence but to help pay the rent for his band mate’s apartment you just moved into.

A/N: Hello my lovelies! I’m so happy with the reception I've gotten with my fic! I’m really excited with what I have written out so far and I’m really happy seeing everyone enjoying what I have written, i have big plans for this little cutie. Not a lot is going to happen during these first few chapters other than establishing the foundation because it is a slow burn, but don’t worry, once we get there it’ll be like a fucking avalanche of chaos. My tag list is open, so if you are interested feel free to send me an ask! I will be reblogging with my taglist and links to the previous chapter, so please be patient with me!

Pairing: Roger Taylor x F!Reader

Warnings: Language, mentions of sex work, masturbation, some friendly banter between roger and reader, not proof read, short chapter but don’t worry it gets better.

Word Count: 1.7k

18+ if you are a minor do NOT interact with this post. This is fictitious content and I own nothing.

It was your first night living with Roger and you were secretly thankful he was busy with a gig which allowed you to unpack your things in peace. He made it very clear that you were to stick your side of the apartment, i.e. your room, and not ruin the ‘aesthetic’ he had worked so hard for his apartment to have. It disappointed you to say the least, considering your only qualm with the apartment was the hideous wood paneling that made up the walls of the living room. It looked like a scene straight out of a 1970s porno.

The later it got the more you progressed in unpacking what little boxes you had and the closer it got to Roger coming home. You finished with what you decided would be the last box of the night and now laid in your bed, door closed, your colored LED lights dimly lighting your room a deep red color.

Your frowned going through your emails and reading rejection letter after rejection letter from the jobs you had applied for. You were thankful you were quite the penny pincher and were able to survive to for at least a month, but the dread still loomed over you like a dark cloud.

Your mind drifted to Freddie’s suggestion from earlier that week, “Try camming, love, it’s all the rage right now!” his loud voice echoed in your mind until you finally caved and grabbed your phone typing in your search engine how to be a camgirl.

Several articles popped up;

How to Become a Cam Girl

TIPS FOR BECOMING A CAM GIRL & HOW I DID IT

Camming on a Limited Budget?

You sighed, your eyes felt strained from reading article after article. You’d seen several reoccurring websites, the two most popular being Twitter, Snapchat, and some live stream sight called WatchMe. Skepticism filled your brain, why would people be so into buying nudes from people or watching them masturbate on camera when they could do it for free on some porn site?

The sense of intimacy that one got, anonymity, and personal interactions with some who was literally paid to be nice to you over ruled the financial aspect.

The financial aspect also caused you to throw what little shame you had left out the window and soon you found yourself impulsively signing up for all three sights starting first with WatchMe. You pursed your lips when you found yourself being prompted to enter your name, what the hell would you put? You certainly couldn’t put your real name, could you? No, you couldn’t. You found yourself smiling while entering Sugar into the name space.

The application process was surprisingly long and bureaucratic, but it was probably good they had you submit a picture of your license twice, once just on its own, and once next to your face just to confirm you were of legal age. The only downside was that it would be a three day wait for the information to be processed.

You scrolled through your imaged looking for some pictures or videos to put on your premium snapchat, but much to your dismay you found that you had a few vanilla nudes taken ages ago back when your and Harrison’s relationship was still young and romantic, but not much else. You reluctantly got out of bed and rummaged through your underwear drawer, picking through your cotton granny panties you wore when your period made you bloated and finally found a black lacy pair of panties that had a matching black lacy balconette bra that pushed your breasts together giving you the perfect amount of cleavage.

You put it on and stood in front of your full-length mirror, it had been ages since you’d last put on lingerie. It felt nice to put it on for yourself and not for someone else; you twisted in the mirror, observing how the lace delicately cupped your cheeks and hugged your hips perfectly. You chewed on your bottom lip and posed, kneeling in front of the mirror, your legs spread and your back arched to give your chest a little extra pop while you positioned your phone over your face and clicked a few pictures.

The red lighting in your room caused a complimentary glow against your skin, showering you in red light and somehow making your images look more erotic. You smiled a bit to yourself, you looked hot!

Our relationship is boring

The word hammered against your mind, causing you to frown and your brows to knit together in frustration.

You were NOT boring, did boring people take pictures of themselves to sell to other people? No.

You found yourself getting hot with frustration and strangely enough, arousal. You didn’t know if it was from how you were dressed working in tandem with the lighting or if it was your pent-up frustration from not having a proper orgasm in so long, but you soon found your hand traveling south while you remained kneeling in front of the mirror. Before you began you carefully positioned your phone, just enough to keep your face out of the picture and rubbed your thighs, leaving teasing touches around the band of your panties.

Your chest heaved with anticipation, you didn’t know why but the fact that you were being videotaped added a feeling of naughtiness to your actions. You gave your slit a teasing rub, your hips twitching at the sudden pressure before your fingers harshly rubbed yourself. The rough fabric of the lace adding an additional tingle to the pleasure that shot through you. You moaned, leaning back ever so slightly to angle yourself and rubbed yourself through your panties, strumming harshly at your clit.

“Ah, fuck.” You whined, reaching up with your free hand and kneading your breasts, pulling your bra down and allowing them to freely spill over. Your nipples reacted to the cold air and hardened almost immediately. You pinched and twisted at them while your fingers began to move faster and faster against your wet core before you decided you needed to fully touch yourself.

You stripped off your panties and spread yourself for the camera, allowing your glistening cunt to be on full display. You slipped your fingers between your folds and began to rub harsh circled around your clit, rolling your hips along with your motions and allowing unfiltered moans to fall from your lips. Roger wouldn’t be home for another few hours, but for some reason the idea that you may get caught enhanced the arousal you felt.

You dipped two fingers into your tight hole, letting out a high-pitched sigh and now feeling contently full. You pumped them in and out of your tight cunt, the slick sounds squelching as you pumped them in and out rapidly. Your stomach clenched when you brushed against that spot inside you and a knot in your tummy began to tighten, getting tighter and tighter each time you thrust your fingers into you. You used the heel of your hand to rub harshly against your clit, the slickness guiding you with ease “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” You whimpered out, rolling your hips against your hands.

The tightening knot in your stomach snapped and your body jerked while a wave of pleasure washed over you.

After you recovered, you sat up, did you just masturbate in front of a camera? You couldn’t help the smile that crept onto your face; it was like you had a dirty little secret of your own.

When you finally ventured out of your room you found Roger lounging in the living room “Wow, out of your room for once?” Roger asked, kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

“No company tonight?” You chimed, noting the absence of some bar floozy hanging off his shoulder, “Did your show go all right?”

Roger’s brows were tightly knit together, he was obviously tense over something and the long sigh he let out before answering you practically told the story; “No, it was complete garbage.” He mumbled, “The venue, not us.” He quickly followed with.

Right, of course Queen was perfect, but you decided to entertain the idea, inching closer into the living room, “What was so bad about the venue?”

It was as though he were waiting for someone to ask him that question, “The crowd was total shit, I know Freddie is damn good at interacting with the crowd, they were just,” He took a surprisingly aggressive drink from his beer bottle, rolling his eyes at the memory, “Stiff as hell,” He mumbled, “Then! That wasn’t even the worst part, on top of that the power cut out not once but three times!” He dramatically raised his arms in frustration, “I practically threw my set off the stage after the third time.” Roger scoffed. Despite your distance from him you could smell the combined stench of sweat, cigarettes, and alcohol that seemed to seep into his garish outfit.

You arched an eyebrow at him “You threw your kit off the stage?” your voice pitched in disbelief.

Roger shrugged “Yeah,” he was so nonchalant, “What about it?”   

“Well I guess you won’t be going back there anytime soon,” You mumbled, and Roger raised his bottle in agreement, “You know, I was thinking we could paint the walls a nice cream color.” You mentioned, lightly running your hands across the drab wood paneling.

Roger narrowed his eyes at you, “Paint over wood panel?” He scoffed, “It’s original finish, you can’t do that!”

You rolled your eyes dramatically, “I can tell it’s original, I can practically smell 1970 seeping out when it gets too hot in here.” You chastised, “Plus painting the walls a lighter color will brighten it up a bit, what the hell are you trying to live in, a cave?”

“Fine, you get to paint the accent wall and I’ll take the others.”

“I pay half the rent here too!” You constantly reminded him that he wasn’t the only one who lived here anymore.

Roger let out a frustrated sigh, “Fine you get two walls and I’ll get two. Have fun painting them Saffron Ivory of whatever boring color you decide on.”

Well, guess your civil conversation is over, you sighed, “At least it’ll look better,” You mumbled, turning back to face him "Shouldn't you shower, you filthy bastard" You scrunched your nose up at his pungent post show odor.

"Ah, fuck off," Roger muttered flicking you the V.

You flashed him a closed mouthed smile "Pleasant, as always." you sarcastically stated before you found yourself slinking back into your room. You truly had no idea how Freddie expected you to coexist with this man.

[amethystgelfling]

A Gift

[ First, I initially considered scrapping this entirely because I was so ashamed of it. So I settled for choosing and anonymous name and a random email (that may or may not be a throw away)

Second, I hope the university workload lightens up.

Third, consider this a gift to you and anyone else who finds joy in reading it. It’s far from being a masterpiece and it’s obvious I’m not a trained writer. But this is my way of showing gratitude. For your blog, and for helping me find a Dark Crystal server on Discord.

Thank you. ]

[ Below is an attempt at an Imagine/Ficlet ]

Rian, Mira, and Gurjin on a few days off from guard duty. They spend time at the podling bar, and stay for much longer than intended (since those motherfuckers throw the best parties). Afterwards, they stumble to an inn at Stone-in-the-wood and rent a room. As they enter their lodgings for the night, Gurjin gives the signal that it’s safe to stop pretending they’re sober once the door is shut. The trio collapses onto the floor, in a bubbly mood from all the drinks.

     They blabber on about all sorts of topics. With no filter. Rian, bitches about how he doesn’t live up to Ordon’s standards. Mira, starts a conversation where they all bitch about Tolyn, and the other guards with a stick in their ass. Gurjin bitches about third-wheeling with Rian and Mira, getting dragged into their antics, and being the one to make sure they aren’t caught making out. Periodic, slurred outbursts of “I miss my swamp!” leave the other two in fits of laughter.

     The night goes on with them jumping from one subject to another; this includes sexual innuendos, arguing about whose alcohol tolerance is highest, and a brief attempt to grasp the meaning of life. During the conversation, Mira and Rian cling to each other, peppering each other with kisses. Gurjin checks his flask, gives a slurred complaint about how it’s empty, and repeats this process because he forgot the first time.

“The barrel of alcohol sprayed in your mouth wasn’t enough?” Rian teased.

     “Says the one who got in a drinking contest, with a podling,” Gurjin retorted.

     “He challenged ME. And ‘is friends wouldn’t let me back out.”

     “My image of the Captain’s son,” Mira paused, posing as if she’d faint. “Is forever shattered.” She failed to conceal her giggles.

     “Didn’t I see you dancing on a table?” Rian playfully quipped. “While chugging an ale.”

     “Don’t pretend you didn’t join me,” her lips crashed into his.

     Succumbing to alcohol-induced lethargy, the trio drags themselves to bed.

     Dim light filtered through the window’s thin curtains. Nothing in the room escaped its touch. The beds. The small table and chairs in the corner. The colorful woven rug on the wood floors. Even so, it didn’t rouse the gelfling from their slumber. As Gurjin slept, soft snores escaped him. Rian and Mira cuddled next to him. All were snuggled under the covers. Enveloped in each other’s warmth. Creating a rare time of peace. Quiet.

     Rian engaged in a futile battle against the waking world’s pull. Blinking sleep away, he slowly stretched his muscles. He turned to a slumbering Mira. Her blonde locks flowed free from their usual braids; they lustered in the first brother’s radiance. Her skin shimmered as it bathed in the light. His fingers began combing her silken bangs. Absorbing the tranquility of the moment. It was interrupted when his girlfriend suddenly shifted.

     “It’s morning love.”

     Mira felt Rian kiss the freckles on her nose. She groaned with pleasure as he ran his nails along her scalp. Letting out a slow exhale, she opened her eyes to Rian’s tender smile. She cupped his hand in both of hers. Guiding her lips with slow kisses across his forearm.

     She delivered the last kiss on the palm of Rian’s hand. “Satisfied.”

     Rian placed his hand on Mira’s breast. “Not yet,” his smile took on a devilish aura.

    Mira stroked his soft chocolate-brown locks with one hand; his ear with the other. The lover’s gazes locked. “There’s a catch,” she hummed. “Tonight,” she caught Rian off guard, tightly gripping his shirt. Her voice gained a mischevious air. “You give me what I want. As I see fit.” She positioned herself on top of Rian. Her sudden movements jostled Gurjin awake.

     The Drenchen groaned whilst lifting his head to survey the room. “What the-” he rolled onto his right side. His eyes widened at the sight of his friends. Rian was on his back; Mira straddled him. He sighed. “There’s a reason I rented a room with two beds, you know,” the exasperation kicked in once he sat up. “Let me guess, you were about to rip each others clothes-”

     “GURJIN!” Mira reached over in an attempt to cover his mouth. He easily blocked her hand. “We don’t want anyone to-”

     “If you were really going to do THAT, you could’ve asked me to get another one!” he rolled his eyes. “I’ve ‘ad it up to here with you lovebirds and your-”

     Several knocks on the door interrupted their conversation.

“Just ignore it,” Rian whispered. Him and Mira now hid behind the bed. Peeking their heads out like children playing hide and seek.

     Gurjin reluctantly left the warmth of the covers. He grabbed his flask from the nightstand, running his hand through his dreadlocks.

     “It’s empty remember,” Mira said in a softened tone.

     “Unfortunately it is,” Gurjin didn’t bother looking at her.

     He cracked the door open. An older female gelfling stood on the other side. The green of her flowing nightgown matched her eyes; combined with her dark-auburn hair, she appeared as an aging tree.

     “Would you mind keeping it down,” she huffed. “It sounds like noisy childlings in there.”

     Gurjin grinned, “Funny you say that.” He turned his head to Rian and Mira. “I have two childlings with me right now.” He went back to facing the auburn haired woman.

     “Just quiet them down,” she replied. “It’s still too early for- wait.”

     “Hm.”

     “Is that a flask?”

     “What of it?” Gurjin didn’t like where this was going.

     The auburn-haired woman crossed her arms. “I hope you don’t drink while watching your kids.”

     “Actually,” he smirked. “There’s nothing like a drink or two settle 'em down.” He winked. “It works wonders at bedtime.”

     The woman widened her eyes, then appeared to decide the matter wasn’t worth persuing. She turned away from Gurjin and headed to her room.

     “Childlings?” Rian exclaimed as Gurjin shut the door. Mira sat cross-legged on the floor.

     “At least we didn’t run into Tolyn at the bar,” Mira cut in. “Or another castle guard.”

     “We wouldn’t hear the end of it,” Rian concurred. “They’re always so uptight.”

     “Just get a few pints in them,” Gurjin placed his flask on the nightstand. “At least Tolyn wouldn’t be so insufferable.” He flopped onto the bed.

    Mira snorted, “Imagine that.”

     “Yeah,” Rian replied. “Besides,” he stood up and stretched. “I wouldn’t worry about running into the others. They’re not the type for fun.”

     “That reminds me,” Gurjin grabbed a small, brown bag from beside the night stand. “I snuck some these from the castle yesterday.” He opened the bag, so Rian and Mira could see inside. Immediately they beamed. “For later.”

     Mira’s lips formed to a pout.

     “You’re being cruel to us,” Rian amped up the drama in his voice.

     Gurjin smirked. “You’ll live,” he pat their heads like they were childlings. After putting the bag in its orginal place, he lay down with his arms behind his head.

     Rian let out a massive yawn. He took the space at his best friends left side. Mira climbed in the bed from the right side.

     “There’s a another bed. In case you lovebirds forgot.”

     “This is fine,” Rian rested his head on Gurjin’s chest. Mira followed suit.

     “So I’m everyone’s body pillow now?” He exhaled and rolled his eyes. Mira hummed in agreement. Rian gave a thumbs up.

     “You’re so comfortable,” Mira yawned as she spoke.

     “Like a,” Rian stopped for a moment. “A living furnace.”

     “Wonderful,” the Drenchen accepted his fate. “Wait, sit tight you two.” He eased his friends off of him.

     “What was that for-” Mira stopped herself when she saw him return with extra blankets from the second bed. They had been sitting there, neatly folded when the trio first arrived. Taking advantage of the extra warmth, they resumed their positions in the bed.

      “Am I really that warm?”

     Rian and Mira hummed in agreement. Surprisingly, Gurjin didn’t find himself bothered by the weight on his chest. He found it, welcoming. And the warmth inside him grew.

     “Guess I’ve found my true calling in life, eh.” A massive yawn escaped him. “Alright then.” Gurjin wrapped his arms protectively around his friends. “We still have tomorrow off. A little more rest won’t hurt.” The Drenchen’s head hit the pillows, allowing himself to leave the waking world once more.

     Under the soft blankets, Rian and Mira listened to Gurjin’s breathing slow. Heard his snores. Felt his heartbeat. 

     Rian reached over, with the hand not trapped under Gurjin, to stroke Mira’s hair. “Wouldn’t mind if this never ended.” His heart fluttered at her beauty in the morning light. His eyelids grew heavy.

     “Mhm,” Mira took her boyfriend’s free hand in her own. She held it until he succumbed to his exhaustion. And caressed his face while he slept. 

     A sudden tightness encased her chest. She took a deep breath to calm herself. To no avail. Of course, all these feelings chose to come now. Tears fell, soaking the fabric of Gurjin’s shirt. She took Rian’s hand; holding it to her lips; she planted several kisses on it.

     “I…” her soft voice shook. For the tears wouldn’t stop escaping. “I love you both.”

She smiled, through her eyes still watered. “Don’t ever leave, okay.” She wiped her tears once they ceased. Luckily, that little breakdown didn’t wake them.

     Mira exhaled in relief. Closing her eyes to join her friends in the unconscious realm. Not before silently praying. Praying herself, Rian and Gurjin stayed in each others lives. Until their time came.

     To rejoin the Song of Thra.

[cravingcrazewriting]

Reinvent Yourself {Treebros}

(Sorry about the error in the first one! It won’t let me edit it at the moment)

Being a shapeshifter was convenient for a number of reasons.

Evan could pretend to be anyone but himself, well, as long as he didn't strain himself too hard (that was never fun). He could completely redesign his body and alter the features he hated so much.

Even if he'd grown up in the confides of a government lab, and he didn't exactly get a childhood, he deserved to have a little fun, damn it, and explore the world he barely knew. He was finally free, and could do whatever he wanted.

Well, nothing illegal, obviously. He also had to keep an eye out for any government agents looking for him. But that was besides the point.

After flashing an ID at the bouncer, he stepped inside the bar and immediately was met with quite possibly the most beautiful person there.

They had a long, well built figure, with oak brown hair that poured down to their shoulders. Around their waist was a leather jacket, and they were wearing a black tank top, accompanied with multiple rings on long fingers, and ripped jeans to tie the whole outfit together.

Immediately, Evan turned on his heel and ran out and into an alleyway. He had to impress the beautiful stranger, and well, he couldn't, being his actual, boring self. His boring, actual self, who had sandy blonde hair, green eyes and the right mixed with red, soft skin, a snake tattoo on his upper back, little to no muscle whatsoever, and sort of plump build.

Throwing off a drawstring bag he previously had around his shoulders, he quickly stripped naked so his clothes wouldn't rip. Once this was done, he shut his eyes, and tried to imagine himself changing into a more attractive person.

He imagined curly, brown hair, a large physique, skinny waist, and a sharp jawline. Yeah, that'd do. He could change into the opposite sex, but most times he preferred using a male form, but couldn't do an animal, but everything else was fair game.

Bones began to unhinge and rearrange, as muscles started to expand, as his size grew, hair curled to his will, his vocal cords deepened, as his body made snapping and twisting sounds (it was never pleasant to do, let alone listen to).

When he opened his eyes, he was an entirely different person. On the outside, at least, but he could fake it till he made it, he supposed. It would work for the time being, until he didn't have to pretend anymore.

He doubted that'd be anytime soon, though, but that was beside the point.

Evan pulled out his ID again and looked directly at it. What was special about it was that it scanned all of his new facial features, and printed it onto the photo, adding on other specifics, like his height and stuff.

He strode over to the bouncer with confidence in his step, after putting a different set of clothes on, showed him the new ID, and went inside to find the beautiful stranger.

The Beautiful Stranger was sitting on a stool, on their phone, and a class of water sitting in front of them. They moved a hand downwards, and moved the sleeve of their leather jacket, before grabbing the water and taking a sip.

Evan decided to take the initiative, slowly sitting next to them, sparing a glance at their features.

They were a lot stronger than Evan anticipated. While they didn't have a body builder physic, the discarded jacket left a full view of two defined and broad biceps that this person could use to easily pin Evan against a wall or something because he just wasn't that strong of a guy. Sure, he could make himself strong, but it wore him out faster.

He wanted to speak to Beautiful Stranger, but the bartender already came over, and was asking him what he wanted to drink.

"Just some water, please," Evan didn't put any thought into the order, he just wanted the bartender to leave him alone. He spared a glance at Beautiful Stranger, wanting to initiate a conversation somehow.

Maybe a compliment would do? He wouldn't know, he never flirted with anyone before.

"Your hair looks soft," as he let the words unintentionally tumble out of his mouth, he realized that was a really fucking weird thing to say to someone. It sounded weird, too, and he was probably freaking Beautiful Stranger out, now.

Beautiful Stranger turned their head towards Evan, surprised by the compliment, but they smiled, and it was small and kind and friendly and just really nice.

"Thank you," they nodded their head at Evan, in a friendly type of way.

Evan wasn't good at upholding conversations. He really preferred it when someone else upheld it for him, because coming up with questions and creating small talk just wasn't his forte. "Where— where do you get it styled?"

"Oh um, this is all natural, actually," Beautiful Stranger gestured to the wild curls. Evan internally decided he'd keep referring to them as them until he heard a name or other characteristics because he did not want to assume anything. "It's god awful to take care of. It just— does it's own thing— that's how curly it is, it's ridiculous. Back in high school my dad would always tell me to chop it if I complained, but I was as stubborn as a mule, I suppose."

"I can't say the same," Evan chuckled meekly. "My uh— I was never aloud to grow out my hair. They always c-chopped it if I tried growing it out." Back when he was still living in a lab, his primary caretaker, Doctor Sherman, didn't let Evan grow out his hair or change it in any way, shape, or form. Previously before, he didn't know why they wouldn't let him grow it out or dye it, but he knew it was just to keep his appearance consistent on his file. Now that he was free, he was growing out his natural hair to a mullet.

"Oh," Beautiful Stranger looked like they wanted to say more, but chose not to. "I'm sorry," they looked away from him.

And just like that, the conversation died.

Evan resisted the urge to sigh, instead drinking his water, slightly disappointed. He needed a new plan, so he paid and left the bar, going back to the alleyway.

If some friendly banter didn't work, maybe seduction would do the trick? While he didn't know what attracted Beautiful Stranger, he decided he'd settle on a tall, skinny girl, with long, black hair, and would wear a shiny, ruby red dress with flats. It'd be the easiest way to find out what exactly caught Beautiful Stranger's eye (and if Beautiful Stranger seemed uncomfortable, Evan would back off, because he would never want to do something like that to them).

He let his muscles shrink and become more femininely shaped, as fat faded away and gentle curves smoothed their way up his thighs and hips, and his bones shrank and rearranged, as his face become a softer shape (despite having a women's body, he still preferred being as a guy).

Evan once again showed the bouncer his ID as he entered, spotting Beautiful Stranger just where he left them. He strutted over to him, feigning confidence, and willing his hands not to shake.

He gave them a gentle shoulder stroke to catch their attention, and trailed his finger down their arm.

Beautiful Stranger shuddered at the touch, and looked at Evan, seeming to be surprised.

"Hey hot stuff," he purred, silently hoping he was coming off as seductive and not as a predator or anything. "You're looking very nice tonight."

They chuckled somewhat awkwardly, and gave a little smile. "Um.. thanks?"

"You come here often?" Evan leant against the counter, allowing a relaxed pose to take its place.

"Not really? Look, you're attractive, and I mean like, super attractive, you're so beautiful but..." Beautiful Stranger let out a sigh. "I've stopped doing one night stands, and I'm here with my sister, celebrating something kinda important. So if you're looking for a hookup, sorry, but I can't."

Evan was surprised by his honesty, but stood up straight, knowing he wasn't wanted anymore. "Alright, I get it. I'll be on my way."

"Thank you," They seemed relieved. As Evan made his way out, he could feel their eyes on them. They cleared their throat and said, "Is that a snake tattoo?"

Evan turned his head back, seeing some of his tattoo slip out. He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised, as the dress he wore was a bit revealing, especially in his backside. He just nodded.

"What's it mean?" Beautiful Stranger asked.

Ironically, Evan had never been the one who chosen that tattoo. Doctor Sherman chose where it went and what it was, and that was that. That was four years ago, and he was just twenty two, and while he could try to get it removed, it was a special tattoo that changed along with whatever form he took (the same went with his right red-green eye).

"Er— I guess it's a conception of judging something by it's appearance, but it being completely different," he just made all of that up, because what else was he supposed to say?

Beautiful Stranger hummed thoughtfully, before turning away from him.

Throughout the night, Evan tried using different forms and personalities in an attempt to impress Beautiful Stranger, but none seemed to work. They didn't seem to bat an eye at the different people he made, and whatever conversations they had were short and unimportant. Evan could only assume they just didn't like him. It was somehow, still, just him.

Evan entered the bar a final time that evening, wearing a basic blue button up, neat jeans that had little to no holes, and a grey jacket, as he swung his drawstring bag that was filled with his various outfits he'd used that night. Evan was tired, and quite frankly just wanted to drink and to drown his sorrows in them. In the back of his mind, he told himself to stay sober enough to rent a motel to pass out in (he didn't have an actual place to stay).

He sat down a couple of seats away from Beautiful Stranger. He just couldn't bear another rejection or let down. He wanted to be alone, probably for the first time all night, with whatever drink he'd buy.

"What'll it be?" The bartender from earlier approached him.

"I'd like some Rose Wine, p-please," Evan fidgeted with the hem on his jacket. "And put it on my tab?"

As he ordered, he couldn't help but feel a set of eyes on him, which was weird, because he wasn't remotely interesting to be watching. While granted, Evan was a shapeshifter, he tried to live his life as vanilla as possible, because that's what he missed, he never got to live normally, and he probably never will, because the government is still after him, and all he wants to do is meet his mom, who supposedly just 'gave him up', which he doesn't really buy, not at all, and go live in Canada, because he erased all files on him before he left, so they wouldn't be able to get him (or at least, he assumed). The only thing holding him back was the lack of money he had, and he'd need a job for a good solid few months, but he also couldn't stay on the streets, because that was unsanitary, and it was only going to get colder and colder each and every day.

"Bad day?" A familiar voice asked above him, settling into the seat beside his.

Evan didn't even want to raise his head to face them, so he just shrugged feebly. "Shitty night..." he said softly, and fuck, when did his eyes start watering? Doctor Sherman always called him sensitive, and told him he needed to mask and control his emotions. It wasn't like he could control his emotions, no matter how much he wanted to, because feelings were complicated and messy, and he just wanted them gone so he wouldn't have to deal with him.

"You um, wanna talk about it?" The stranger offered, and his curiosity got the better of him, as he raised his head from the counter top, and wow, okay, it was Beautiful Stranger sitting next to him, giving him a look of worry that could be compared to offering someone their condolences when a family/friend died, which was kind of baffling, because they hadn't really cared about him before, well, more like the different versions of him, actually, they'd never formally met like his true, god awful form, and yet he was getting more attention than any of his others did.

For obvious reasons, he couldn't tell him he was trying to talk to him all night, because he'd sound crazy, so he had to make something up. "Er— my b-boyfriend, he didn't like how anxious I was— or well, still am, actually— with like, everything, and I— I tried to change for him, but... nothing worked... so he b-broke it off with me..."

"So wait. You were trying to change yourself for some selfish asshole, while you have anxiety?" Beautiful Stranger looked pissed off, but not at him.

Evan nodded feebly, not saying anything. Really, what could he have said?

"You deserve better than him," Beautiful Stranger said firmly, shaking their head. "You're better off."

The bartender set down a cup of Rose Wine, and Evan suddenly remembered his plan. Taking the cup, he downed it and asked, "Why're you here?"

"Celebrating with my sis. I'm four years clean from cutting and two years clean from smoking weed," it was weird, because they seemed more eager to tell him about this than before in his other form.

"That— that's great," he smiled at them, because it was great, and it had to be a big achievement if they felt the need to celebrate it.

"It hasn't been easy, but it's worth it... What about you?" Again, there's hesitation in their voice, but they fight through it. It's kind of admirable.

In a way, Evan's addicted to shapeshifting. He absolutely loves being able to reinvent himself, despite the pain that rushes through his body, and it never fails to get his blood pumping.

But it's another thing he can't tell Beautiful Stranger. So, he says, "Lying. I hate conflict."

"But you aren't lying to me," Beautiful Stranger was smiling at him, and was he flirting? Evan couldn't tell.

"Or— or so you think," really, he was lying to them, but only about small stuff.

"If you were lying, you'd get defensive, and well, you aren't," Beautiful Stranger laughed slightly.

Evan sputtered, "I mean— well—I guess."

Beautiful Stranger squinted at him, and then smiled, "Wait, hold on, you have it too?"

"Have— have w-what too?" Evan was confused by what he meant.

"Your eye. It's got a little red in it," they clarified.

Evan's face flushed, and he looked away, covering it. Doctor Sherman could never find out where the red came from, and called it a 'scientific anomaly'. "Oh... sorry. It's weird, I know."

"Wait, no! I didn't mean it like that!" Beautiful Stranger rushed, and— that's their hand? It's so soft. "Just. Look at me?"

Evan sighed internally, but complied, and watched Beautiful Stranger brush their beautiful, long hair out of their face, revealing his left brown eye with a large amount of blue in it. He gasped, gazing at it.

"I wanted to say we both have Heterochromia," they chuckled awkwardly.

"Oh..." Evan said softly, trying hard not to stare at them. He knew from experience how awkward it was to have people staring at him, but he couldn't help it. They were just... so beautiful (hence the nickname), and Evan would stare at them for forever if he could, and fuck, their hand was still on top of his, and their gaze was directed at him and felt all too tingly in a sudden moment.

His thoughts were interrupted by the bartender coming by. "Want a refill?"

Evan nodded to them, and watched as the cup filled once more with the Rose Wine, taking it afterwards, and took another drink.

Beautiful Stranger grimaced, "Please tell me you didn't drive here."

Evan finished half of it before setting the cup down. The alcohol was really starting to set in. "Can't drive if I don't have a car," he shot finger guns at him somewhat awkwardly.

"So you walked," they assumed, "cause I don't think you'll be okay to go out on the streets like this."

"I'll be fine!" Evan laughed, and oh yeah, the alcohol was really hitting now. "I don't—" he hiccuped, probably from not having any water in between drinks. "I don't even know y-your— name!"

"It's Connor. Connor Murphy," Beautif— no, Connor Mur— no, beautiful Connor Murphy, smiled at him, and Evan decided it was safe to assume his pronouns were he/him unless told otherwise.

Evan slowly raised his arm so Connor could take his hand, but it probably looked weird, but everything was spinning and he'd rather not fall off of his stool and get a concussion. Never the less, Connor The Beautiful took his hand and shook it.

"I'm... beautiful," he whispered, not really used to calling Connor by his actual name. He was just so beautiful, he couldn't help it.

"While I won't deny that, I still need your name," Connor laughed, letting go of his hand. Evan just let it drop, sort of like it was weightless.

"Oh," Evan drank the rest of his second cup, and asked for a third. He laughed at the fuzziness gathering in his chest and said, "It's Evan."

Oh so beautiful Connor was smiling shyly at him. "Well Evan, maybe I can convince my sister to give you a ride home?"

It dawns on Evan that he kind of can't accept his offer. He'd love to, definitely, without a doubt, but he just have a home. His cup was filled once again, so he took another drink, trying to figure out how to tell Connor he couldn't without hurting his feelings.

"I— don't have one," well, congratulations Evan, for being brutally honest with this super hot stranger that he'd never see again.

Admitting to homelessness probably always sparked concerned, Evan reasoned to himself, as he saw Connor's expression melt into shock. "What? But where have you been staying?"

"Shelters, hotels, motels, and sometimes on a bench," he laughed dryly. He was painfully used to this routine by now, but it's not like he could leave.

"God, I'm so sorry for asking," Connor groaned, hiding his face in his hand.

Another drink went down the hatch. " 'm not mad or anyth'ng, you d'dn't know." He was forgetting to articulate his 'i's, he was aware, but did that really matter? No, he was drunk, and he could do whatever he wanted (well, he'd probably get in trouble, but that didn't matter to his drunken mind).

"Fuck, are you going to be okay?" Again, there was that look of worry, while Sober Evan would appreciated, Drunk Evan didn't want to be pitied.

" 'll be fine," he insisted, his cup becoming empty. "Just need a motel."

"Well when you're done, can I take you to one?" Connor took a moment to pause. "And I know it's weird, because we barely know each other, but I promise it's not out of pity, but because you're important."

'Important to the government? Yes. Important around here? No,' Evan thought to himself, but didn't actually say it. "Okay."

While Evan had a couple more drinks, Connor made some small talk. He talked about how hellous his high school years were, as he was at the bottom of the food chain, among with the relentless expectations from his parents didn't make life easier. He'd spiraled into depression, and struggled with it for the longest time, but eventually got a support system he could fall back on if needed be. He went into Graphic Design and was interning to design Buildboards with a company. In the spring, he'd graduate and start working there, while his sister majored in Astromony, and her girlfriend, Alana graduated early with to be a Paralegal (that was normal for her, because she always went the extra mile, he explained).

Once done, Connor talked to a blonde haired girl Evan could only assume was Zoe. With every passing moment, he could feel his legs wobble and he had to use the counter to stay upright. Connor noticed this, and coaxed Evan into grabbing onto his shoulder for balance, which was super nice, as he lead him out into his car.

It was embarrassing that he couldn't even get his seatbelt on without help, but all he could do was slump back against against the seat and mope. Connor was typing into his phone, looking for a nearby motel, most likely, and Evan couldn't help but feel just... so lucky. He knew guys like Connor weren't nearly as common as he'd like to believe, and just the fact he was doing this for him... Just was amazing.

Finding a motel didn't take nearly as long as he thought it would, much to Evan's disappointment. Was it wrong he wanted to be around him so much? He barely knew him, and yet there he was, wanting to see him again.

"Can you get inside okay?" Connor turned to him once the car was parked.

Really, Connor was just too sweet for his own good. Was he trying to leave Evan swooning hopelessly after him, cause he hoped not. "Yeah. It's just a few feet."

But just when he was about to step out of the car, Connor spoke up, "Can I have your number?"

Evan felt frozen in his spot, out of fear or anticipation, he couldn't tell.

"It's just— believe it or not, I've had a really nice time talking with you tonight, and I wanted to see you again," Holy fuck, that smile, it was like finding a diamond in the rough. So beautiful and rare, and aimed just at him.

Evan could feel himself fumbling for his phone, and handed it over, watching Connor take his out so he could take it. He silently typed in his number, seeing Connor smiling as he did the same, and they swapped back. He couldn't believe it. He'd gotten Connor's number.

And as he stumbled into the cheapest motel room he could find for the night, he felt like he finally did something right for once.

[riding-alpacas]

Tierra del Fuego

My route through Patagonia leads me from south to north - starting in the southernmost city of the world: Ushuaia. As usual in South America there are some debates if this is really the southernmost city, given that there are a few more towns and villages further south in Chile. Population wise it certainly is one of the bigger southernmost places.

I didn't have the highest expectations when I came here. Ushuaia is clearly a very busy, touristy place in summer. Lots of cruise ships stop here and it is also the starting point for Antarctica expeditions. I considered doing one of those as well, but when I researched the cost and what kind of trip it would be, I backed off. They are ridiculously expensive and pretty much all of them are targeting a more senior audience. If Antartica still exists when I'm 60, I might consider it again at that age.

Closer to Straya than to Canada

On my first day there was only a limited amount of people in the hostel. Well, that's what I thought. It turned out that during the day almost nobody was in the hostel ever. In the mornings and evenings though the place was buzzing. In one of the Backpacker groups on Facebook I found Corinna who also just arrived in Ushuaia and was looking for hiking buddies. During the following days we spent the majority of our time together as we got along really well. It's a shame that we have very different plans for our time after Ushuaia, but we figured that we might meet again in Central America.

The first hike we attempted was the one to Laguna Esmeralda. It gave me a first taste of the landscape so far south on our wonderful planet. If I'd have to describe it with one word it would definitely be rugged. There is something quite harsh but beautiful about the environment here - which makes sense, given that we had hardly more than 15 degrees during the day and it's basically winter down here most of the time. The tree line is super low (500m or so), the brownish colour above it is quite unique and the mountain peaks are just spectacular. And best of all, it's all pretty much untouched.

Felt a bit like Lord of the Rings

The hike itself was a lot of fun but not only due to the beautiful surroundings. It was muddy like hell. Parts of it led through peat bogs which I never hiked through before. First we both tried to avoid getting into the mud as much as possible by doing ridiculous detours (we actually almost got lost on the first 500m in) but for me at least the tolerance limit got lower pretty quick. My boots were waterproof and in my hostel they had boot brush cleaners anyway. Walking through peat bogs was pretty weird at first. They have a spongy, springy texture and no matter how dry they look, once you step on it you basically press out a lot of water. The lake itself was pretty nice. Many of the lakes I saw in Canada had the same blue, milky colour but that doesn't make it any less beautiful. Unfortunately I wasn't super lucky with the weather during the whole week but again: It's still just beautiful being out there in the spectacular outdoors of the Land of Fire.

A little bit of mud

Mystic

Next day was rest day. And rest day usually means checking out town and its museums. The first museum I tried was an old prison that Ushuaia is famous for. They've split it up into multiple sections, grouped by topic. I was very disappointed. Firstly, it was totally overpriced and secondly it was just... random. I expected some sort of golden thread when walking through the different prison cells but it felt just like a random collection of stuff. And it wasn't even good stuff. I was hoping to learn a little bit about the history of Ushuaia, the indigenous people who lived here etc. but it was very underwhelming. On the way to the city I had a quick look at a "museum" about the Islas Malvinas which was a huge flop, too so I almost skipped the last museum I had in mind. But thankfully I didn't because that one was finally a good one. Historia Fueguina tells four storylines that are related to Ushuaia’s history:

The indigenous people

One of the first European expeditions

The prison

An unbelievable rescue story about Ernest Shackleton and the Endurance

You wander from section to section, each one consisting of life-sized historic figures while listening to the story on the free audio guides. Most of the exhibits can be entered and you can pose for pictures. It was quite quirky but very educational and a lot of fun. Spoiler: Most indigenous people are now eradicated because the Europeans brought diseases and bullets when they discovered gold in the area. Same shit, different country.

Almost as comfy as my hostel beds

Next thing I did was a little hike up to the local glacier in town: Glaciar Martial. I did this one by myself because I really wanted to start it early and Corinna didn't want to pay for the taxi. It's very popular and I wanted to avoid the crowds. Surprisingly life generally starts late here, mostly around 10am. For this one I left the hostel at 8 and was on my way up at 8:30. And I am very happy about my decision because I had the whole trek for myself. Initially I felt a bit meh about this hike. Most photos in the web are quite underwhelming and the start of the hike is basically just walking along a ski slope. Luckily one of my room mates told me about some side trails and that the hike generally is actually quite nice. I'm glad I listened to him. At the beginning I walked along a beautiful creek with some of the clearest water on earth. After getting to a little viewing area, I continued up to the actual glacier. It became quite steep here, but it also wasn't a particularly long section. At the top I had a wonderful view of Ushuaia and the Beagle Channel. I found a beautiful section where lots of small streams of water merged and just rested here for about 45 mins to soak in the view and some of the sun when it showed itself for a few seconds.

If I remember correctly this was also the very first time that I was making full use of my layering system. I started with my insulated jacket as it was pretty cold in the morning. Halfway through I added my windbreaker as it became quite windy above the tree line. On the way down it gradually became warmer but it also started raining, so I removed both jackets and changed into my rain jacket. Yes, you truly need a good layering system when in Patagonia.

Ushuaia and the Beagle Channel

More Lord of the Rings

The next day was the highlight of my time in Ushuaia. Corinna, the couple that she shared her Airbnb with and I rented a car and we made our way to the Tierra del Fuego National Park. Corinna and I had a crack at the Cerro Guanaco Trail which literally took our breath away. The hike starts at a glacial lake, then turns into a forrest and climbs up pretty steeply. After a while we reached a little viewpoint before going through some muddy terrain again. With the tree line behind us, we were now in pretty exposed and rugged territory and the trail became extremely steep. But we continued, slowly and steadily until we reached the top and a jaw-dropping view to all sides. We could see Ushuaia and the Beagle Channel in the distance, the glacial lake with some impressive mountains below us, ragged cliffs right next to us. It was just spectacular and very close to what I had in mind when thinking about Patagonia.

Ragged

My favourite view so far

Corinna and I

Beagle Channel

After our return we continued to explore the southern part of the National Park, took some dorky pictures at some touristy signs and returned back to Ushuaia. By the way: If I wouldn't know that the water is freezing cold down here I would just love to jump into all the little lakes and inlets here. The water is crystal clear and when the sun comes out and you actually feel a bit warm it is just too inviting...

The end of the road

Second best thing to do with these water conditions

Jump in!

What stroke us the most during our time down here was the very limited amount of wildlife on land. We saw a couple of brumbies (or whatever they call them here), some birds and a few flies, but that was basically it. No guanacos, no armadillos, not even a bloody worm or ant. I actually digged a little hole at one point to see if there is anything hidden in the soil but there wasn't anything. Corinna and I started building a theory that everything we saw was just fake and we were actually in some sort of TV show. I hope you are all very entertained by now!

The last activity I did was a rather disappointing one. Corinna had now left town and I decided to do a little trip to an island full of penguins and a cruise along the beagle channel on my last day. Little Penguins are quite common in Australia and I already saw a lot of them in Melbourne and on Phillip Island. I was hoping that the species they have here in Ushuaia would be a bit more different, but it turned out that the Magellanic Penguins (by far the biggest group of penguins here) are very, very similar. I also saw Gentoo Penguins and a King Penguin though, which was pretty cool. After spending about an hour on the island and some other random stuff on the way there (trees that were shaped by the wind, a museum about marine mammal skeletons (creepy (especially when they showed us the fresh carcasses (let's just add more brackets because I can)))) we started our cruise. And the cruise was just 100% meh. Towards the end we stopped at the famous lighthouse and at a few rocks with sea lion colonies but I guess I'm just too used to these animals so that in hindsights I'm a little angry with myself spending so much money on that activity.

Looks like it's a bit windy out here

The lady was very excited about skinning this skull

Gentoo Penguins

Spot the king!

Look at this ugly fella

That was my adventure at the end of the world. I started making some good friends and it was a great start to get to know Patagonia. Next up is El Chalten, the hiking capital of Argentina. Apparently they have really bad internet there, so it might get a little quiet here. Apart from that I also managed to get sick (Coronavirus?), so I'll probably have to rest a bit in the next few days.

I might meet Jean (who I met in the hostel) again in Bariloche

[jfbuckley]

THE TRIAL OF DOMINIC CUMMINGS

Having watched his statement and subsequent questioning from the press live, I now find myself reassessing my previous view of Dominic Cummings’ behaviour. As with everyone else, I didn’t know the full story when it broke, so I made my mind up on the basis of what I’d been told. Obviously some presumptions I made were wrong, but so was the evidence as presented.

Obviously, I have to say that this all depends on whether you believe what he said is true. If he is lying, and especially if it is proved that he made a second trip, then all bets are off.

There are elements of his story where he could have made a better decision, or where his actions seem downright unwise - but I would contend, m’lord, that he was acting in unprecedented circumstances and where his only care was doing the best for his 4 year old son. This is not unreasonable, and it is what almost everyone would do.

Some of his story attracts criticism because he clearly had advantages from the start, advantages that the vast majority of the population doesn’t have. Such as that his parents are very rich and own a large estate on which there are a number of buildings, some of them not being used. It is quite legitimate to get politically angry that some people have more wealth and privilege than others, but that is irrelevant to the debate here. It is more appropriate to a discussion on Class War and Marxism than about rules surrounding a virus epidemic.

THE CHARGES:

1. In taking the trip to Barnard Castle he was very unwise. It was clearly breaking the lockdown rules about visiting local beauty spots, especially when you are a well known and very controversial political figure: he should have known fine well that if he was spotted and recognised it would have led to big trouble. It was a fair drive away, it is like the conundrum I have about visiting Southport or Blackpool. Whether or not I come into contact with anyone, I am breaking the guidelines as they were at the time. He says he didn’t meet anyone at Barnard Castle. He explains why he did the drive. It is credible. However, he didn’t have to do the drive, it clearly broke the rules, he shouldn’t have done it, he should have apologised. On its own I consider this to be carelessness and unthought through - a £60 fine is perhaps warranted, but it is hardly a sackable offence.

CONCLUSION: on this point he is GUILTY of breaking the lockdown regulations. I believe that the story about testing his eyesight in preparation for a 260 mile drive is credible, but I think that in retrospect he will realise that it wasn’t the greatest of ideas. What surprises me is that neither he or the Prime Minister seem to realise that this drive to Barnard Castle broke the regulations. Had he encountered the police there he would have deserved a ticking off and a £60 fine, but I don’t think that he honestly thought he’d broken the rules. On this one, it is up to the individual to decide: my personal view is that he broke the rules but it’s a trifling offence that isn’t sackable.

2. He was spotted walking in the woods. These woods happen to be part of his parent’s estate. He has every right to be there, I’m not sure about the people who spotted him. As long as he was social distancing, he has done nothing wrong, except for being part of a wealthy family. Again though, perhaps he should have weighed up the risks of adverse publicity if he was spotted - NOT GUILTY

3. He drove back to London. He was given medical permission both to return to work and to drive. I can’t see any problem with this - NOT GUILTY

4. He visited his parents, doing something that is expressly forbidden under lockdown rules. In actual fact, if his story is correct, he DIDN’T do this!! He visited an empty cottage on his parent’s estate. If so, his crime is coming from a wealthy family, not breaking lockdown rules - NOT GUILTY

5. It seems that he didn’t put anyone in danger. Maybe the only person he did was the 17 year old neice who volunteered to look after the child, but it isn’t clear that he even saw her and it is well known that young people suffer very little risk from Covid - NOT GUILTY

6. He could have got help in London **which would have obviated the need for the journey. I don’t know, maybe he could, maybe he couldn’t. It isn’t for me or anyone else to say that he should have asked friends or relatives in London: for all I know they may have been completely unsuitable. He had the option of using an empty cottage on a farm in County Durham. It is hardly a second home, and as he didn’t interact with anyone on the way, or whilst there, I don’t see any problem with it other than jealousy about his parent’s wealth - which is irrelevant - NOT GUILTY.

**Of course, the much simpler thing for him to do was for him and his wife to stay at home in London with their child, and self isolate until all had recovered. I’m sure that he could easily have got groceries delivered to his door step, as I have done. If not, I would expect that there are many people in the Tory party who would have volunteered to help. I’m also sure that he could have “worked from home” via a video link. If he was worried about the reporters and rent-a-mob left wingers besieging his house, I’m sure that a nice word with the police from his boss would have sent them away

This is indeed the whole, central crux - and mystery - of the entire matter. It is what everyone else has had to do - it makes perfect sense and avoids all controversy about breaking or bending the lockdown rules. To me, it is rank bad thinking that he just didn’t hunker down and do it - it wouldn’t have lasted long and it would avoided all this stupid controversy.

SUMMING UP: Thus, it appears to me - as long as he is telling the truth - that the only naughty thing he did was to take an unnecessary drive to a beauty spot where he ran the risk of being recognised.

I therefore contend that Mr Cummings should continue to work as Boris Johnson’s chief advisor. People are free to hate him as much as they want, but that is not a matter concerned with the lockdown.

What I would say to conclude is that the government’s handling of the whole story has been utterly appalling. Why didn’t they just come out and tell us all this on Friday night before giving the left wing media the chance for such a feeding frenzy??

POSTSCRIPT

My very good friend Mr Stephen Jones has posed a straight forward question that every single news reporter has missed. It sort of went through my mind too, but I didn’t articulate it. It was his wife who suggested the rather silly drive to “test his eyesight” that ended up at Barnard Castle. Instead of making this silly suggestion, why didn’t Mrs suggest instead that SHE drove?? Of course, that is on the understanding that she can actually drive, but honestly, most people can these days. I totally agree with Stephen, this is the crucial question in the whole saga, and we deserve an answer!!!

Also - another thing that hasn’t been pointed out, but which is clear common sense to me, is the fact that he didn’t have any alternative childcare facilities that could have slotted into place in London, should anything happen to him or his wife. This applies whether there is a pandemic or not, it applies to ANY circumstance where he and his wife, or both, are incapacitated. This seems neglectful in the extreme. I “only” have three pussy cats to look after, but I have plans in place to deal with it, should anything happen to me. The fact that a senior government advisor didn’t have contingency plans to look after a 4 year old with special needs is quite astonishing.

[hardspruce-blog]

New Social Order

New Social Order

By: John Wheeler

It was a cold day in New York City, colder than most days at this time of year. If there was rain in the clouds it would certainly come down as snow and powder the city with a crisp white accent. Some people lived in the city for the sole reason of seeing the first snowfall of the year. It was one of the most popular types of photos and paired with the right filter, someone could certainly make national news for the stale photo that got recognized every year. Almost everyone seemed to have taken in the new social order, the government was now a figurehead of what it used to be, merely there to give importance to a once used system. Now it was all electronic and in the hands of the people. Society had made social media the law of the land and the voices of the people were the judge, jury, and executioners. One had to be careful to follow certain social traditions or trends if you didn’t want to be labeled a terrorist, extremist, or some nasty word given to anyone outside the social norm. There was recently a man who spoke out on the awful working conditions of one the country’s favorite coffee store brand. Within an hour he had got 90% of the country against him, people he would never meet were calling him some quite awful names, people are their worst when separated by a piece of glass. After the incident, the man was better off in jail where he had no access to the hate that was spilling against him constantly. Something was wrong, and I could feel it. There was some sense of order and justice that was missing, a term ‘blind justice’ rang in his mind like an old friend whose name was on the tip of his tongue but could not remember no matter how hard he tried. Public law was the lay of the land and it seemed to work. Justice was swift, the order was seemingly restored, and the people against society were put away. It was easier more than ever to become famous, one just had to be at the right place at the right time for the gorgeous sunset and the right quote under it with the right filter posted at the right time to ensure maximum coverage. It was all very complex to me, I could never quite understand the fuss over the same picture a thousand times by a thousand people. I was a part of the craze, however, confusing it was. I followed all the recommended blogs to stay up to date on the new social trend that seemingly appeared out of thin air without warning. Though I never understood what the trend was about or why it was popular, I followed it anyway, like there was some sheepdog guiding me in the right direction wherever that may be. I certainly was not one of the popular people online, I had a few friends that I occasionally got together with so we could all traditionally get our picture taken together and raise our appeal slightly by appearing a way we did not see ourselves but wished others to see. I never felt a true connection to them, conversations consisted of new trends and how we may get ahead of the curve. Sometimes we would bring up a new idea for a trend, but scared of backlash, we hardly ever stepped out of our neat line society had generously placed for us.

My father had died recently, so I was enjoying a slight increase in my quality of life. Everyone was giving homage to my father who they had never seen besides in the pictures I posted with him and I posing together before he died. He was certainly an outcast of a man, did not enjoy the new social order and spoke adamantly against it, however, he was certainly a rich man. He often gave to charity, not for the popularity of it, but simply to give. He never made any occasion of it, if it was ever brought up it was by a friend trying to seem favorable to him by congratulating him. He had his own island that he often retreated to towards the end of his days, told me “I can’t stand the way society is going, this is not how people ought to act. All the kindness in the world is masked by social gain and no raw emotion.” I never really knew what he meant by raw emotion. In his will, he had left me his island. It was quaint, he showed me pictures of it. A simple wooden cabin on the beach overlooking the ocean faced in the direction of the rising sun. Around it was lush forests, untainted by the human hand. He had a simple garden that sustained him during the summer times. It was almost its own society away from society.

At one of our bi-weekly social meetings at a café that was the new flavor of the week, that was crammed with people here for the same exact reason. A friend suggested to me that I go live in my dad’s cabin for a while. He said paying an homage to your dead father may raise my popularity. People love seeing other people go through hard times, struggling with the human condition and working through their own depression somehow made other people a little less depressed about their own condition. On the walk home I was mulling it over, for once my phone was not in my hand swiping through the newest trend of sandals in the winter months. I was tired of my life, I felt like I needed a fresh start. It was hard to escape this life though, dropping off the grid was almost like suicide, losing out on all the news and trends. It made you seem socially retarded and no one wanted to be around someone that might lower their own popularity. However, I could skip around the social suicide, start a new life without any repercussion to my life. It was the perfect scenario and I felt I had been blessed. I began packing my bag up tonight, ensuring I took plenty of pictures so I could tell my story to everyone I could. After packing up I took steps to ensure someone could take care of my hypoallergenic dog, you never knew what kind of guests you would have so it was best to air on the side of caution. My friend, Jessica, from my bi-weekly social group, said she would be, “Totally flattered to dog sit for me.” She also had been wanting a dog to take selfies with so it was a win-win for the both of us. I then made sure my landlord knew I would be gone for the year and after hearing my story, whether out of pity or fear of social stigma, allowed my apartment to remain untouched and rent-free for the year. Finally, it was time to set my phone away in a safe place. I thought it best to leave it in a safety deposit box at my bank who said it was the most unusual thing they had ever seen. Some had looked at me as if I were quite insane. Nonetheless, I was now free of the social network.

After I was dropped off onto my dad’s old island, I instructed the boatman to bring supplies at the beginning of each month and to not bring anything that told me what was going on beyond my stretch of the horizon. After words, I made my way to the cabin which was about a half mile uphill which allowed for a gorgeous view overlooking the beach and the sunrise each morning. It was quite deafening and disorienting to hear only the sounds of nature and not the sounds of cars rushing past and peoples’ thumbs on their phones. I felt slightly sick at the thought of what I was doing, I was alone after being so connected for almost my entire lifetime. After slowly coming to terms with my situation, but unable to shake my unease of it all, I made my way into the cabin. It was well furnished, a fireplace when it began to get cold, an arm chair next to a massive collection of books, a simple kitchen with a modern stove with a refrigerator that looked like it came out of the 80s. The bedroom had a queen sized bed with simple bedding and an extra blanket at the foot of the bed on top of a chest where I could store my personal affects. I was happy that there were at least some comforts of my old life but happier that it was all away from me.  

I spent most of my days walking around the island, taking in the look of the trees, the smell of the island, the feel of the sand on my feet. On days where the weather was a bit too extreme, I spent the day indoors reading my father’s old books with a fire. I had never heard of any of them before and a lot of them challenged almost every viewpoint I had previously held. It made me rethink my lifestyle that was centered around myself and how others viewed me. My walks in nature furthered this new found way of thinking. For once, I looked above my eye level, I looked at the trees and their beautiful simplicity. I looked at the wild flowers and stared in awe at the different sizes and types. In the ocean, I could make out the school of fish all moving as one and it reminded me of my group of friends, moving without thinking and just following the rest of the group. I wondered how they were doing, not how their social status may have improved or worsened, but how they were feeling. Every morning I would drag myself out of bed no matter how tired and I would look out at the sunset. The air was almost dyed a golden color, the water was a mixture of reds, oranges, and yellows. I had slowly begun to understand why people had such an affection for filters mimicking sunsets and why so many people posted pictures of them. There was a true beauty in the sight of watching the sun slowly creep over the horizon and give its light to the land, giving its beauty to nature and all the light touched as it rose slowly into the sky.

As the months crept by, I began to see a certain sadness in the boatman’s eyes. I recognized this look because I saw that same look in my own eyes every morning when I woke up in my apartment in the city. This leads me to compare my two lives, my old life in the city and my new life on the island. I began to see that my life in the city was a depressing one. I couldn’t remember the trees in the central park, the flowers in flower boxes littering the sidewalks. Maybe it was my environment, or may it was the situation I put onto myself to force myself to fit into a crowd I was not happy in. Being alone in nature made me feel full and complete than I had ever been before. No longer did I worry about what other people would think if I wore this outfit or had an opinion, not in line with the answer society had. I felt like I could speak my mind more than ever and be the free and happy person I had been denying myself my whole life. For the first time in my life, I could look at my reflection and love what I saw because I knew that what I did and thought made me happy. It made me feel like I mattered, that my opinion mattered because it was my own.

Eventually it came time for me to leave the island and make my way back home to see my friends, who I did not know if that was really who they were. If we were just in a mutualistic relationship, benefiting off each other. On my return to the city, I saw the colors of the trees and the flowers for the first time. Vibrant greens playing off one another and the flowers painted reds and yellows and oranges dancing in the wind like a beautiful dance. I went to retrieve my phone and on my entry I saw the grim faces hidden behind the smiling mask that people put on to disguise their real feelings from the feelings society wanted. I got my phone out of the safety deposit box, covered in webs, almost like it was a warning to the world I was returning too, however I felt it my duty to share the message I had learned from my father’s island. Upon turning my phone on I was immediately blasted by notifications, messages, calls, and every sort of communication method I had at my fingertips. I let my ‘friends’ know I had returned safely to the realm of the living to which they remarked at the savage life I must have lived off the grid.

I thought the best course of action to inform the public of my discovery was to use the system I had beaten out of myself. I did not hold back, I slammed the system which people had opposed on themselves and emphasized that the lives we are living do not give us any sense of real happiness. That the happiness that everyone had been searching for in quotes and other people was only a fleeting sense of happiness. That happiness came from within yourself, making yourself happy and not focusing on what others thought of you was the key! I expressed plainly that nature was the root of this discovery, that my time alone on an island was what brought me to my discovery. I offered this up to society and awaited the mobs that were sure to come from my inflammatory comments criticizing the life they lived.

I awake to my phone shaking violently on my nightstand, upon further investigation I was receiving notifications on my post. The first comments were the ones attempting to start a train of hate, however it never left station. People loved the idea of nature being their key to happiness, it struck a chord with the general public. I had never been happier than to see my discovery receiving the praise I thought it deserved. Checking my messages, I noticed I received an invitation to go on national television and they requested an interview with the pioneer of one of the most expensive trends the nation has seen. I was enthralled by the idea of speaking directly to the nation! I was given a plane ticket to fly out to L.A. and given a luxurious hotel room, one I had dreamed about as a kid. I was still receiving praise from all corners of the nation, people jumping onboard my discovery saying it helped change them. My speech to the nation was almost identical to the one I had given in my post, there was no need to add fluff to the truth. The host was visibly taken aback at my account of my lifestyle away from society, she went as far to say if she did not know better she would think I was insane. However, I was content that my message had been heard around the nation and people might begin to turn themselves around.

I was offered a quite lucrative book deal that told of my expedition onto my father’s island. The money I made helped me to re-establish myself. I was able to move out from my small apartment that overlooked a simple street, gray with enthusiasm. I found myself in love with a penthouse that overlooked central park, I was able to see the colors dancing and the sun glistening upon every leaf and flower each morning. I hosted many parties in my home in hopes of giving people a more firsthand account of my journey. People saw it as a luxury and a privilege to be invited to my parties. I felt as if the whole world wanted to hear what I had to say, I had people clamoring over my attention and listening to me as they might find a nugget of wisdom in what I said. I hosted parties nightly so more and more people could come, and the more parties I threw the more popular I became. I was finally able to have people listen to my own opinion. As the months drew on, the parties began to dwindle in size, less people showed up so to free up their time to visit another party they heard was the new talk of the town. I would follow these parties online, wondering what they had done that I had not. I shook this feeling of self-pity off as I thought that no matter what the new trends where, what I said had more weight than any party out there.

It had been a year since my return to society, and people had all but forgotten about me it seemed. The new friends I thought I made simple left without saying a word to me. No one made mention of my profound discovery that was the answer to the nation’s problems. It almost seemed like the nation was content dwelling in its own pity, somehow thinking it would give them the attention they felt they deserved. For some reason colors began to blend together more. Greens were not as vibrant, yellows stood out less, reds bleed together, and the sun no longer dyed the air with its grace every morning. I began smiling less, even in my walks around the park I could not seem to muster up even a simple smile. I wondered what went wrong, why I was no longer popular, why I had faded out of public favor. These thoughts plagued my sleep and invaded my daily thoughts. It seemed almost pointless to go on in a world where my opinion did not seem to matter despite how deep and profound it was.

The sun rose as it did every day. I shaded my eyes from its cruel glare, hiding myself from the light and warmth it offered. I looked out across the once beautiful park, wondering where the magic had gone. However, it no longer seemed to matter. I would take my daily walk through the park like I had always done. I took a step and felt the wind rush past my ears, blocking out any sound and the thud at the end.

[lifeaftermeteor]

L’Apothicaire  Geneva, Switzerland 205 December 19 

Renilde Une sat in a dim corner of the bar nursing a scotch with one eye on her phone.  Two weeks into her mandatory, transitionary leave, she had stopped receiving messages from Headquarters and was left feeling unmoored in the vacuum her retirement had presented.  First a colonel, then a Preventers Director, and now what?

She spun her glass with her fingertips, listening to the bottom grind against the polished wood of the bar top while she watched the other patrons and wondered what they did, who they were connected to here in the city, whether any posed a threat.

At first, Une had berated herself for such ideations but within the first five days of her departure, she had observed someone else’s operatives [1] shadowing her.  She’d subsequently spent a few days playing a game of ‘how mundane can I make my life out to be,’ boring herself to death in the process.  But it seemed to do the trick: her unwelcome clandestine companions had made themselves scarce in short order...which to her meant whoever had ordered the tail had called them back and established alternative methods to monitor her activity.  Such was the new normal, she supposed.

Now she sat feeling entirely unsure about what to do with herself.  She sighed and checked her phone again.

There was a burst of cold air that blew in from the other side of the bar.  Looking up, Une watched Sally Po take long strides into the space, her gray eyes spotting her from across the room, and make short work of the distance between them.  Sliding out of her jacket, the woman asked, “Not late, am I?” not even bothering to glance at her watch as she slid into the adjacent stool.

Une shook her head.  “I came early.”

Sally nodded, the corners of her mouth turning up in the faintest of smiles.  Glancing at Une’s glass, she asked her, “What are you drinking?”  When Une told her, the faint smile grew.  “I always pegged you as a wine girl.  Clearly I was mistaken.”

“I used to be,” Une admitted.  “I suspect the job had something to do with the change.”

The other woman chuckled and flagged down the barkeep, ordering a bourbon for herself.  Once she’d acquired her own drink, she raised the glass in a toast, giving Une a wide smile.  “Cheers to your retirement.”

Une offered her own small smile in thanks and met Sally’s drink with her own, the glasses clinking softly between them.

“How is the retirement going?” Sally asked before taking a sip of the amber liquor in her tumbler.

Une sobered at the question.  “I’m not officially ‘retired’ until the first,” she reminded her companion.  “But it’s…fine.”  The answer felt hollow on her lips and she shook her head, amending, “I’m not sleeping well—I’m still stuck in the routine, trapped in this feeling that any bad news is going to come back to me.  I keep expecting the flood of emails and calls.  So the fact that my phone has gone silent is disturbing rather than reassuring.”

Sally considered this for a moment before saying, “It’ll get better, you know.”

“I know,” Une sighed, taking a swallow of her own drink and feeling it burn in her chest.  Doubts swirled in the back of her head, but she knew she’d never release them; giving them a voice would make them real.

She was grateful when Sally changed the subject.  “When are you heading to London?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Flying?”

Une nodded with a shrug.  “Faster than the train.”

“That’s good,” Sally said, shifting to lean heavily against the bar to her right.  “You’ll get both Christmas and New Year’s then.  You find a place to stay?”

“I’m renting a two-bedroom downtown.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t just buy,” Sally told her, throwing back the rest of her drink.

“I could have,” Une acknowledged, finishing her scotch as well, “but it felt too…final.  I don’t know if I’d want to stay in London if she wasn’t there.”

Sally nodded at this, seeming to agree, and waved down the barkeep to order a new round for the two of them.  She then asked her, “So what are you looking to do in your free time?  Travel?  Start your memoirs?  Take up knitting?”

A dry laugh escaped Une’s lips at the suggestions.  She felt the tension ease out of her, but whether it was due to the alcohol or the company she wasn’t sure.  She hoped it was the latter.  To Sally, she said, “Travel is a yes, I think.  Marie will be staying on-campus through graduation and I…I want to be there for her without becoming overbearing.  We’ve lived apart for so long that some distance won’t be unnatural for us.”

“So where to?”

Une considered this while she took a drink, feeling Sally’s eyes on her.  The undivided attention was rather…nice.  “I haven’t been home to Bavaria in I don’t know how long.  I’d like to see it again – what’s changed, what hasn’t.  But beyond that, we’ll see.”

“Well, if you’re ever interested in having a travel buddy, let me know,” Sally told her, throwing in a wink for good measure.

“You wouldn’t mind?  I know you’ll be busy—”

“Of course not.  I’ll need as much of an excuse to get out of Geneva as you’ll need to get out of London.”

“So not much of an excuse other than ‘I’m bored and want to get into trouble while off the clock.’”

“Precisely.”

At this, Une did laugh. “Sounds like a fantastic idea. Let’s plan on it.”

[1]  Point of order: LAM!verse nixed the “one global country” concept once Romefeller was out of the picture.  National boundaries were re-instated as part of peace negotiations in AC 195-196.  Une here knows that the tail isn’t Preventers-sanctioned.