kiss the girl
summary ⎯ five times dan heng has thought about kissing you, and the one time he actually does.
tana's words ⎯ i've been recently listening to kiss the girl (ashley tisdale version) and its cute and made me think of dan heng. and idk if this follows canon story or not bc im not at xianzhou yet lolz.
also ik the title says 'kiss the girl' but that's only bc i was listening to the song. reader is gender neutral.
tags ⎯ friends to lovers. pining i think. hurt and comfort (at the end). flustered dan heng. fluff i think.
THE FIRST TIME dan heng thinks about kissing you, he immediately pushes away the thought. it was out of character; it was outrageous for him to think of a friend that way. it made him feel perverted for even thinking of the action.
it was a sunny day. you two (plus march and stelle) were in belobog at the time and you guys were witnessing bronya's speech. all of you agreed the speech was marvelous, and you all felt a sense of pride for bronya.
your eyes were sparkling in the sun as you watched bronya speak, and dan heng couldn't help but become enamoured by your face. he looked away from his paper to peek at your awed expression.
at that moment, dan heng thought you were the most beautiful person he's ever seen. but he can't think that. he cannot. not only were you a fellow trailblazer, but you were also his friend. he couldn't risk one of his greatest friendships over something as minimal as this.
so, he pushed the thought out of his brain. he thought that it would be gone forever, but he was deeply wrong.
THE SECOND TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you occured while you two were gazing in the astral express. by this time, you two have left belobog, and are awaiting your next journey.
you chose to pass the time by 'star-watching,' a new term you created as a substitute to cloud watching. the activity is similar to cloud watching as you point out shapes that make beings.
dan heng told you that you were just pointing out constellations, you said that you wanted to pass on the technicalities.
so now, you two were star-watching. you kept pointing out absurd patterns, such as, "this one looks like svarog," (it did not) and, "this one looks like balls." of course, none of the constellations looked like either of the comparisons (dan heng was thinking about taking you to the eye doctor), but dan heng played along anyway. anything to make you smile.
at one point, the absurdities stopped, and you began pointing out real constellations. so many beautiful creations in the sky, yet the real beautiful thing was right next to him, continuously pointing out constellations.
you rested your head on your hand, mindlessly gazing out at the empty field of stars in front of you, "it's beautiful."
"yeah," dan heng mindlessly replies, not even realizing what he's just said, "it is," he finally says, looking at you.
maybe it's the light from the stars hitting your face, or maybe it was just your radiant beauty, but the urge to kiss you came up once again. subconsciously, dan heng knew the feeling would arise sooner or later. but that didn't mean he liked the feeling.
he wants to preserve your friendship so bad; but sometimes, the line drawn alongside friendship and love begins to thin. sometimes, the line gets so thin that dan heng fears that he'll trip and fall into you.
THE THIRD TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you was when you two were hanging out in his room. over the span of months, dan heng has learned to appreciate your being, and sometimes (he will never admit this) he feels calmer around you.
usually, dan heng didn't let other people be in his room, but it was different with you. for some reason, he liked it when you were in his room. sometimes, he finds himself wanting you to be in his room.
he was quietly sorting through his data bank while you were reading. it was such a calm and quiet moment; dan heng felt peace for once. there was music playing softly in the back, the room was silent, and the air was just right. it felt nice.
dan heng was too tuned into his data bank that he didn't hear footsteps coming up closer to him. it was only when he turned his head to check on you, that dan heng noticed you were right next to him.
you were right next to him, head nearly leaning on his shoulder, and you were so close to him. dan heng's heart was about to beat out of his chest, and he began to worry about the warmth that was rapidly spreading to his neck.
when you noticed dan heng's reaction, you thought you'd surprised him. you moved a little bit back, "sorry, did i scare you?"
"no, not at all. i was just a little startled," dan heng replied while rubbing the back of his (reddening) neck.
"that's like, the same thing as scared," you gave a low chuckle and moved closer to him once again, "you would know this."
"dunno," dan heng paused, "maybe i was too frightened to remember." when you laughed at that, dan heng swore he blushed all the way up to his ears.
"you are not funny," you gave him a slight shove that didn't really affect him. you leaned closer into the database, "what are you doing?"
you didn't realize how close you were to dan heng, your faces nearly touching. you were scrolling around his data bank while dan heng was trying to hide his rampant blush from your eyes.
dan heng stared at you while you browsed, taking in your close presence. you didn't seem nearly as tense as he did. you were relaxed, comfortable, you leaned into him. dan heng found himself staring longer than normal.
then, the thought, came in. the same recurring thought he'd been having for a long time: the thought to kiss you. he wanted to take you by the hands and pull you closer to him. he wanted to feel your palms and he wanted to feel you closer to him.
and this is the moment were dan heng realizes that he wants to be more than friends. dan heng realizes that he likes you; he wants you to be with him, he wants to feel you by his side. he wants endless star-watching nights; he wants to see you constantly.
and that is dangerous. not only would that ruin your friendship, but it would also endanger you. there's so much that would put you at risk.
"you should go back to your room," dan heng puts a gentle hand on your shoulder, causing you to look back up at him. your confused expression almost shatters dan heng's resilience, but he goes on, "it's late. go get some rest."
you keep the hand on your shoulder, "you too. don't stay up too late, okay?" the soft tone of your voice makes dan heng melt, and he almost wants to pull you back and ask you to stay. almost.
dan heng nods and you leave. he leans back on his desk and puts his head in his hands. what is he going to do?
THE FOURTH TIME dan heng wanted to kiss you was the night you arrived in the xianzhou. you (and march and stelle) were exploring the city and it's wonders while dan heng was treading carefully behind you.
you haven't had a full conversation with dan heng for days. you assume it was probably because you were snooping around his data bank, but he has never minded that before. you haven't got an actual chance to apologize either, because for some reason, dan heng is now constantly busy.
the four of you decided that you would split up to look around. march immediately went to stelle, so that left you with dan heng.
dan heng knew this would happen. he couldn't avoid you for too long anyway, even if he tried. he would always end up gravitating back towards you.
it pained him to not talk to you. he missed your voice, your jokes, your little touches. he missed your book talks, he missed the way you'd always be in his room, he even missed your nosiness.
you and dan heng were aimlessly strolling around the streets until you found a lively street parlor. they were selling food, and the aroma was absolutely divine. dan heng knew you immediately caught your mind on something when he saw your beaming face.
you still haven't found a correct time to apologize to dan heng, but that can wait for later. you just wanted to talk to him. "dan heng! we should try some," you beamed.
"okay. i'll wait over here," dan heng monotonously replied. your smile slightly faltered, dan heng thought the sight to be excruciating.
he couldn't still be mad at you, right? you had to apologize soon, because this silent is agonizing. you couldn't help the fact that you missed dan heng. you missed late nights and his warm touch. you missed his sarcasm and his gentle nature.
when you returned, you brought back one giant kebab that dan heng knew you couldn't finish. you'd probably have enough to share with the entire express.
when you took a bite of the kebab, you moaned with delight, and dan heng forgot how much he missed your smile. it all came rushing back to him, all the things he missed about you. you are right here, in his grasp, yet he still cannot have you.
after your first bite, you offered a second bite to dan heng. etiquette was all out of the picture when you were there.
originally, dan heng wasn't planning to eat. there were lots of problems at hand, and dan heng could not relax now. but you were an obstacle in his equation. how could he refuse you when you were practically bouncing on your toes, smiling, and looking at him with such mirthful eyes. saying no to you was like refusing a blessing from the aeons.
he took a bite out of the kebab, to which he nodded in delight. dan heng finished chewing with a delighted expression on his face, and your smile appeared once again. dan heng felt his lips creep up, and sooner or later, he was smiling as well.
he looked down at your happy expression, and he noticed that you had food on the corner of your mouth. dan heng usually scolded you for being slightly messy, but in this tender moment, there was no need.
dan hen grabbed a napkin from a nearby table and wiped the corner off your mouth off. he wiped the food off so tenderly that you would think he was tending to something delicate and fragile. and the gaze he gave you after. you nearly passed out. dan heng looked at you with such fondness and love that you gripped the kebab harder.
his mind hadn't registered what he just did before you quietly said, "thank you."
dan heng nearly malfunctioned. what he just did was criminal. it was a simple thing, however it was most criminal to dan heng. during that moment, all he could think of was your lips on his. the tenderness of his touch was his mind projecting how he would cup your face when you two kissed. all of it felt so wrong, but so right.
"no problem," dan heng blushed and avoided your eyes. "do you... do you think we should meet back up with march and stelle?"
"yeah," you looked down at the ground, slightly flustered, "yeah. let's go."
things were awkward. but at least things were okay. and that was all that mattered to you.
MARCH 7TH HAD speculations. you and dan heng were like a pair. you two were a dynamic duo, second to march and stelle, of course. you would always be seen with each other. when march "accidentally" stumbles into dan heng's room, you'd be somewhere in there as well.
so, why is it that whenever march barges into dan heng's room, you aren't there? why are you not with him? why is he "constantly busy" when he there is nothing to store in the data bank? something was up, and march was determined to find out what was happening.
"don't you think it's weird that we never see dan heng and yn together anymore?" march asked stelle while sipping on juice.
stelle huffed, "i mean, it's a little weird. but maybe they're both exhausted. we just got out of belobog and now we're facing more conflict in another world."
"yeah, but," march paused for dramatic effect, "i saw them together in dan heng's room a few days ago."
stelle furrowed her eyebrows, "are you stalking them or something?"
"what?!" march exclaimed, nearly jumping out of her seat. the scene caused stelle to laugh, "no. of course not, i can't believe you accused me of that!"
"so... you don't think it's weird that we never see them together anymore?" march continued.
"okay. i'll answer. it's a little weird. but whatever it is i'm sure they have a reasonable explanation for it," stelle said. "why are you asking about them anyway?"
"because," march drew out the syllables, "they're cute. i've been shipping them. and plus, dan heng hasn't really been acting like himself recently."
"yeah, but what are we gonna do about it? he hasn't really opened up to us about his problems... like... ever..." stelle trailed off, as if she tried to remember how many times dan heng has ever spoken about himself.
"don't worry stelle," march grinned, "i have a plan."
"i can't believe we fell for this," you grimaced in the closet you were stuck in.
march and stelle split up and told both of you that there was a group meeting in march's room. obviously, because the both of you thought there was something urgent, you rushed in there. you were prepared, only to be ambushed and pushed in a closet by march and stelle as a ploy to "make up."
alas, you knew you needed to talk things out sooner or later.
dan heng, on the other hand, was freaking out. you're close. you're so close that he can feel every time you exhale out of your nose. this closet had no space, so you were practically pressed up on dan heng.
the one thing he couldn't see though, was your face. dan heng wanted to see your face. he wanted to study you up close: he wanted to your skin with his hands, wanted to pull you closer so he can observe the way your mouth lifts when you smile. he wants so much, but he can have none of it.
"i think i can break us out," dan heng offered.
"do you think they're guarding the doors?" you chuckled. dan heng gave a small smile after hearing your laugh. it's ironic that you're laughing in this situation while dan heng's heart is about to burst.
"i think the both of us can take them," dan heng answered.
this is the most you two have ever spoken to each other in days. you missed his voice and you missed being so close to him. unconsciously, you leaned closer to dan heng. you would know his warmth from anywhere.
as you two try to find a good point to hit, your hands brush against dan heng's. the way his hand feels on top of yours just feels right. the way his touch is still so gentle; oh how badly you missed his touch against yours.
"i'm sorry!" dan heng quickly removed his hands from yours. he moved away from you as well. you wanted so badly to chase him: you wanted to come closer, to place your hands with his one more time.
but you didn't. you doubted the fact that dan heng wanted to be near you. with his recent actions, you were wondering if the two of you were still on good terms or not. you could mess everything up with one action; dan heng was the very last thing you wanted to lose.
when you two finally found a good breaking point, you both put all your body strength into prying the doors open. it took a few tries, but the doors finally opened. however, there were consequences. the closet fell down with the combined force of both your bodies shaking it.
before you two fell to the floor, dan heng grabbed your arm and pulled you underneath him in a quick motion. your heart raced against your chest; you were so close that you could feel dan heng's heartbeat as well. and to your surprise, his heart was beating just as fast as yours.
the closet fell on top of you, and dan heng shoved it off of the two of you in one motion. seeing him do that just made your heart beat faster, and you were sure that you were breathing faster as well.
dan heng looked down to check on you, but doing so brought him much closer to you. closer than he had ever been. if dan heng moved down a little bit more, he would be able to close the distance between your lips. the urge was tempting: he was on top of you, your faces were both so close to each other, and your breathing was rampant and quick.
"are you alright?" dan heng asked. his breath fanned your face and you stared right into his eyes.
"i should be asking you that," you breathlessly whispered. he was so close and you were about to burst.
"i'm alright," he leaned down closer, "don't worry about me."
you two were both in a daze when you found yourselves leaning closer to each other. dan heng cupped your face; he couldn't wait any longer. all resilience went out the window, because right here, right now, you were here. you were in front of him, looking as radiant as ever, and dan heng could close the distance right now.
his hands treaded carefully across your face, as if you were one-of-a-kind. finally, his hands rested against your cheeks, and he leaned closer. dan heng was so close to kissing you before a commotion entered the room.
"OH MY GOD!" march exclaimed before running out of the room.
you startled, and accidentally pushed dan heng off of you. you frantically apologized while dan heng brushed himself off and helped you up. you were shaking at what almost just happened. you almost kissed your best friend.
the distance between you and dan heng was wide. he made sure to stand exactly five feet away from you. his hands were crossed and he refused to look at you. dan heng was worried that if he got even the slightest glance at you, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from what would happen next.
you both quickly left the room with racing hearts, confused thoughts, and a realization that whatever just happened was a mistake.
WHENEVER DAN HENG NEEDS SOMEONE to help him with his wounds, you are always that person.
at first, it was for team bonding. before stelle came, you all would take turns patching wounds to build team trust. however, with dan heng, the only person that he'd let patch up his wounds was you. you used to tease him and tell him that he was like a dog in that way, but he always brushed it off.
you were always gentle with him; carefully touching up on cuts and bruises with bandages or rubbing alcohol. by no means were you any doctor, but you were tender and calm.
dan heng was wounded again. there was no reason for him to be wounded. the fight was tame; the enemies weren't extremely powerful or anything. but for some reason, dan heng surpassed the rest of the team with more cuts.
now, you two were in a small room together. luckily, it's more spacious than the closet, but it wasn't as big as dan heng's room. you and dan heng were both sitting on a table; you sitting criss-cross-applesauce while dan heng was sitting properly.
the both of you haven't talked ever since the closet incident. instead, you two have been sharing gazes, brushing past each other in halls, and staying five feet away from each other.
this was the closest you have been in a while.
you are focused on banadaging dan heng's cuts. your eyes are glued to his arms and torso; you refused to look up at dan heng. you couldn't look at him for two reasons: you were slightly mad at him for obtaining so many injuries and you still couldn't look him in the eye after the past situation.
dan heng sat in silence as you tended to him. he knew you were mad at him, and he felt awful. dan heng knew that he didn't need to sustain as many injuries has he had. the only reason why he had so many injuries was that he was trying to distract himself from his feelings. the closet situation had him questioning himself. given the chance, would he hold himself back or would he let his urges win?
"i'm done," you let go of his arms and started putting bandages away. dan heng didn't know you'd be done so quickly. he wanted to bask in your grace for a little longer. dan heng thought about pulling a stitch in order to get you to stay longer, but that just seemed weird.
dan heng knew he couldn't let you leave like this. there was too many unspoken words between you two; most of them, partially his.
during this, dan heng realized something. he realized that, even though you are still mad at him, you stayed with him. you didn't ask for march or stelle to help him, but you did it yourself. dan heng could be reading too much into it, but dan heng is tired. he's tired of longing for you.
and maybe, just maybe, if you'll stay when it gets difficult (like right now), maybe you'll stay when it gets hard as well.
dan heng decides to leave all resilience behind. for once, he doesn't calculate the consequences nor does he hold himself back.
you're about to slide off the table until dan heng pleads, "wait." he grabs your arm and holds you there with a gentle grip. you could slip out of it if you wanted to, but this may be the first actual conversation the two of you will have in a while.
dan heng takes your silence as an answer. "thank you," he says. he curses at himself at the simple response. it was anti-climatic. "i appreciate you," he adds on.
the compliment made you blush, even though it was very simplistic. you avoid looking at him and rather focus on tapping your fingers on the table. "no problem. it was nothing anyway."
you two remain silent for a few moments; you didn't want to leave in fear that this may be one of your few conversations. dan heng was trying to find the right words to say.
"i really do appreciate you. for being here. for always being here," he continues. dan heng realizes he sounds redundant, and he wants to slap his palm across his face. with you, he couldn't find the right words to convey his actions. saying, "i'm sorry," wasn't enough and saying, "i miss you," was too little.
"i told you. it's nothing. i'd do the same for everyone else," and you wanted to chide yourself for saying the last sentence. not true, because the only person who'd you really do all of this for was only dan heng.
"i think this is the longest conversation we've had in a while," you murmur to yourself.
"i know," dan heng replies. you jump back on the table, almost falling off. if it wasn't for dan heng catching you (yet again), you would've fell off. his touch sends electricity through your veins; his touch brings warmth to your body.
"hey! you need to watch your stitches," you automatically scolded him. your nagging was a normal occurrence, but this time, it felt rare. dan heng hasn't heard you nag at him for years (days), and he feels as though he can breath normally now.
"sorry," he pulls back. you're left shuffling closer to dan heng, not that you notice, due to your almost fall. you two were facing each other now; the distance was a lot closer than before.
you let out a small laugh at the situation. practically falling of a table was not a laughing matter, but you always found joy in those situations. sometimes, dan heng thought it was a bit strange, but he always valued your optimism.
"i'm sorry dan heng," you look back down on the table, "i didn't know going through your data bank would make you ignore me for days," you let out dry chuckle.
dan heng furrows his eyebrows in shock, "don't apologize. i don't mind you looking through the data bank."
you looked up after his reply, expression shadowed with confusion, "wait? really? so... why the radio silence? did i have something to do with it?"
"no! no, it wasn't you," dan heng quickly reassured. "it was me. i was the problem."
"don't have to tell me that," you smiled and bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from laughing.
"i'm gonna let that slide," dan heng smirked. it was nice, the way you two fell back into your normal routines once again. it was like all the tension that was previously there, simply dissipated.
"i missed you," you crossed your legs on the table, moving back to the criss-cross applesauce position.
"me too," dan heng replied. "i missed you a lot." he looked straight into your eyes.
you flustered underneath his gaze, "i probably missed you more. sometimes i dunno if i can survive without you," you joked. it was a joke, but occasionally, you find it to be true.
"for me, it's the other way around," dan heng mumbled beneath his breath. "i really missed you. and our late nights. and star-watching."
"you missed star-watching?" you astonishly asked. dan heng wished he could take a picture of your grin when he told you that he missed star-watching.
"i missed a lot of things," dan heng paused, "but i missed you the most."
"i'm sorry for pushing you away yn. i was just⎯ scared," time to rip off the band-aid, "when i'm around you, i just get so messed up. you're the only thing on my mind sometimes. everything about you just makes me⎯ breathless? speechless? you amaze me to the point where i can't even think of a word to describe you."
dan heng pauses and his heart is racing. you're looking at him as if you want him to continue, as if you want him to finally say what he wants. dan heng doesn't know that you want it too.
"yn," dan heng looks straight at you, "i have feelings for you. feelings that i think will overwhelm me at one point if i keep it all together. i never stop thinking about you, longing for you. i want you and i think i really want to kiss you," dan heng finishes. he fumbled on his words back there, because he doesn't think he wants to kiss you, he wants to.
"dan heng..." your face is hot. your body is hot. your breathing is fast-paced and you feel like you are about to be on fire. adrenaline rushes through your veins and you are sure you are not thinking straight.
you pull him in for a kiss, tugging him closer by his chin and kissing him passionately. you take that fire from your body and you pour it all into this kiss. dan heng is surprised at first, but then reciprocates your actions. while your hand is on his face, his hands slide to your hips, tugging you closer and holding you tighter.
you two kiss until you have to stop for air. when you breathe, the whole world feels like it's on fire as well.
"i feel the same. i can't stop thinking about you," you lean in for another kiss, "i miss you," another kiss, "i missed being with you," another, "i missed being close to you," another, this time a little longer, "but i really hope i don't miss this."
"don't worry," dan heng pauses, "you won't. i promise."
and after all of that, dan heng finally got to kiss you.
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down bad, huh?
pairing: dan heng x gn!reader (ft. march 7th)
summary: you can't hold it in anymore; your crush on dan heng is getting serious and you just have to talk about it. but little do you know that a certain someone is within earshot.
cw: fluff, pining, bit of humor (?) maybe, probably ooc dan heng
enyo's note: got this idea while answering an ask. to the anon who sent that ask; thank you for indirectly inspiring me !
content under the cut | masterlist
"so what is it that's on your mind?" march asked, looking at you with curious eyes. "you look like it's really bothering you."
"it is bothering me," you nodded truthfully.
and oh, it was. and it had been bothering you from the very beginning. and by now it had reached a point where you just couldn't hold it in anymore. you had to talk about it, because it was driving you insane.
ever since you woke up without memories, two people had been around you non-stop. and like that, they grew to mean something to you, both in a different way.
there was march, who grew to be your best friend rapidly. the girl was always there with her everlasting enthusiasm, making her very easily likeable. she was your biggest hypeman, but as much as she was a talker, she also proved to be a good listener who tried her best to give you advice when you were in need of some.
and then there was dan heng, the mysterious raven-haired guy with solemn gray eyes that never seemed to stray away from you. it had taken you some time to get used to him, if you were fully honest. the male was often quiet, and when he spoke he was blunt and straight-to-the point, unintentionally bold sometimes. but he enthralled you, and your infatuation was quick to grow into a silly crush.
a crush you had to talk about with your best friend.
"okay, where do i start," you mused, suddenly feeling slightly nervous now that you were about to speak up about your crush on dan heng for the very first time.
how would march react? would she be surprised? would she disapprove of your feelings for your fellow trailblazer? though you couldn't think of any reason why she would do so, you were a little worried regardless.
"i wanna know everything from the start, y/n," march urged, and the girl was nearly at the point of clenching her fists in excitement. she was so eager to find out what you were about to tell her, curiosity sparkling in her pretty eyes.
"okay, here goes," you sighed, your shoulders drooping a little as you forced yourself to relax. for the final time, you shot a glance around the area to see if you were really alone, and then you spoke up.
"it's dan heng." you felt butterflies in your stomach as you said his name out loud, and march's eyes widened as she realized where this was going. after all, what else could this be about? the blush that painted your cheeks gave away the words that weren't spoken yet, but you continued regardless.
"you know, that moment when i opened my eyes and he was basically about to kiss me?" you said awkwardly, taking the hem of your shirt between the pads of your fingers. "it made me feel butterflies all over, and i guess those never left."
"sooooo, you like dan heng?" march marvelled, a massive smile creeping up her features. "that's so so so cute! you have to tell me more, y/n."
her enthusiastic reaction brought a grin to your face, relief washing over you. she seemed excited about your confession which spurred you on to tell her more.
"yeah, i do. he's just so... so... have you seen him, march? his hair is so fluffy, his eyes are beautiful, he's beyond pretty. and aeons, don't get me started on his personality. okay, i have to admit that i was intimidated by him at first, but he's such a nice and caring guy when he opens up and you get to know him. and his words, march. he just... i'm so down bad."
a breathy laugh bubbled up from your best friend's throat, and she wiggled her eyebrows at you suggestively. "oh, y/n, you really are down bad. so what now? are you going to do something about it?"
you hastily shook your head no, for merely the idea brought you a rush of panic. confessing to dan heng? you could never. you didn't have the courage to do that, afraid of being turned down by him. you weren't sure if you could handle that. and besides, you developed quite a nice friendship with the male and you knew better than to put that at risk.
"aww, but you two'd be so cute together!" march protested with a pout, her voice being way too loud for your liking.
"march," you hissed, pressing your index finger against her lips to shut her up momentarily. it looked like you were alone, but hertha's space station was packed with researchers and you didn't want any of them to find out about your crush.
"sorry," the girl sheepishly apologized.
"don't tell anyone," you almost pleaded her. march was an absolute harmless sweetheart but her mouth often ran faster than her mind. but she was your best friend regardless, so of course you had to share the news with her.
you offered her a smile, one she enthusiastically reciprocated immediately. she was obviously elated after hearing the news and it wasn't hard to figure out what went through her mind right now. she was probably shipping the two of you avidly by now, and you could only hope she wouldn't come up with crazy ideas to get the two of you together. really, as much as you liked dan heng, you didn't want him to find out. let alone if march would meddle about. you internally cringed as you imagined the girl dropping not-so-subtle hints around the male. no, you sincerely hoped it wouldn't get to that point.
"my lips are sealed, y/n," she promised you.
little did you know that it mattered not; a certain someone had overheard your entire conversation. march keeping quiet or speaking up would no longer make a difference.
~ ♡ ~
it was pretty late at night. you were still in the lobby of the astral express, seated on one of the comfortable benches. march had passed by a couple of minutes ago, bidding you goodnight before retreating to her room. welt and himeko had left quite a while ago and you didn't know where dan heng was. well, you were quite relieved about the latter. you didn't know if you were prepared to face him after today. you've harbored feelings towards him for a long time, but it somehow felt more official now that you've said it out loud.
it was about time you headed to your room as well. you were getting pretty tired, almost dozing off right then and there. it was utterly quiet inside the train, which didn't aid to the fact that you were nearing the point of falling asleep.
but the door opened, and the person you least wanted to see entered the lobby. your drowsiness evaporated on the spot and you sat up, cheeks painted in a shade of red that rapidly gained saturation. okay, your previous statement held a faint hint of a lie; you did want to see him, but were you prepared? no, you weren't. you fought the urge to hide your face in your hands, forcing yourself to offer him a reluctant smile.
you expected him to pass you by, to head to the archive room like he usually did. but he didn't, and instead took a seat next to you.
"hi, y/n," he greeted you, his solemn gray eyes meeting yours.
something about his gaze awakened a swarm of butterflies in your stomach, and you struggled to maintain eye contact as you greeted him back. a silence followed, and you fidgeted with your fingers as dan heng's gaze didn't falter. he seemed to be looking right through you, and you were pretty damn sure your blush was painfully obvious by now.
"so..." dan heng spoke up after what felt like long minutes.
you hummed questioningly, eyeing him curiously. the male suddenly looked reluctant and awkward instead of his usual calm and collected demeanor, and a sense of suspicion grew in your mind – much to your horror.
dan heng cleared his throat, momentarily averting his eyes as he seemed to gather himself before facing you once more. he looked more confident now, though his reddened cheeks basically confirmed what you already feared.
"down bad, huh?" he inquired, and you swore your soul left your body at that very moment. your breath halted for a second, and your heart performed somersaults in your chest.
a rush of panic came over you. dan heng knew? that was your worst nightmare coming true. you breathed out, trying but failing to calm yourself. this had never been part of the plan, he wasn't meant to find out! aeons, you were supposed to crush on him in silence.
"d-did march–" you stuttered, because what else could've happened? she was the only one who knew, you told no one else about your feelings.
"no, it wasn't march," dan heng reassured you. "she didn't tell me anything. i just... i just happened to be there and then i heard you saying my name. i got curious and eavesdropped."
you felt ashamed, so so ashamed. you genuinely thought you were all alone when you told march, you checked multiple times and besides from a few researchers far out of earshot, no one was around – or so you thought. this was the worst case scenario, the worst way he could possibly find out. oh aeons, you were doomed. you weren't ready for what was bound to happen next. he would reject you, and your friendship would turn weird.
"i'm sorry,'" you squeaked, staring downward in order to avoid his gaze.
"for what?" dan heng asked, taken aback by your sudden apology. "are you sorry for liking me? you don't have to say sorry for that, y/n."
"but–" you began, all sorts of reasons and excuses flooding your panicked mind. you bravely faced him, but it was as if the air was knocked out of your lungs as you found him looking at you with a tiny smile.
"i'll be honest. i'm glad i overheard that conversation," the raven-haired male admitted, nervousness brimming behind his gray eyes for once. "because if i didn't... i wouldn't have had the courage to tell you that i feel the same."
"you... what?" you asked, the meaning of his words not yet quite dawning upon you. your feelings for dan heng were not unrecruited? you feared that he wouldn't feel the same, which had kept you from confessing for so long. and here he was, telling you that he felt the same after accidentally catching wind of your crush on him.
"i like you, y/n," he said bluntly, the little smile disappearing as his placid mask ghosted over his features again. but his eyes had changed, as he gazed at you warmly.
he inched closer to you and took your hand. the gesture made you laugh awkwardly, but you scoured your entire being for some leftover courage and leaned against him.
"i like you too, dan heng," you smiled. "so much that i wish i didn't wake up before you were about to kiss me– i mean, give me cpr."
then, as you realized what you had just blurted out, your hand shot up and clasped over your mouth. oh, you were really hanging out with march too much, your mouth was running faster than your mind way too often!
"oh?" dan heng said, quirking a brow.
"i–i mean– !" you quickly began, but a finger against your lips made you seal your mouth. you swallowed your words as he succesfully made you shut up, even more so when his index finger was replaced by his lips.
they were soft, incredibly so, and felt heavenly against yours. your widened eyes were soon to flutter closed as you grasped on to what was happening, and you kissed him back. a whole zoo sprung to life in your stomach as you realized, dan heng was kissing you!! it only lasted briefly and he pulled back way too soon for your liking.
"you don't need to be knock-out for that, y/n," the male spoke. "i'll kiss you without needing any reason to do so."
you beamed at him, happiness filling your entire being. dan heng was so blunt sometimes, making him unintentionally bold – which, on its turn, brought butterflies to your tummy.
"then do it again," you grinned, delighted with this unexpected turn of events. you didn't know where you got the sudden courage from, all the awkwardness dissolving.
"gladly," dan heng nodded, and he complied.
it all started as an accident, but it turned out to be the best mistake you ever made. you felt silly. silly, because you so long feared that your crush was one-sided. but apparently coincidence was on your side, and when you went to sleep that night, you were no longer single.
you couldn't wait to tell march.
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