#trying to stop being so worried about being seen as cringe

[sketchy-tour]

It's funny how I can post me literally kissing sun and moon and tag it as self insert and have it in my bio as something I tend to draw

And yet I at the same time sit here like "Man I sure do hope no one realizes Dandy is, in a lot of ways, a self insert oc." As if it's not obvious as hell.

[kaysungshine]

Redamancy: Part II ['red-a-man-sE] noun ;a love returned in full

(If you haven't read part one, you definitely should!)

{ Pairing } - idol!bangchan x staff!afab.reader (bestie!jisung)

{ Genre } - NSFW; s/a/f trifecta, now friends to enemies to lovers, pining

{ Synopsis } - Things are awkward now, you're avoiding each other. In fact you distanced yourself from the entire group. What happens when Ji confronts you? What happens when Chan does a 180 and tries to befriend you? And what happens when Chan finally has you alone in his room?

{ WC } - 14.3k (I am so sorry 🥺) + 2 screenshots

{ Warnings & Tags } - 18+ MDNI, lowkey POV switch , lots and lots of angst, eventual smut & fluff, swearing, use of babygirl, multiple nicknames for members, choking, drinking, bestie jisung crying, hyunjin being a logical romantic, y/n being a little toxic but learning from it, they're honestly both a lotta stupid, oral(f. receiving), dry humping, hickeys and bruising, questionable breath play (please research if you plan on doing this, do it safely), chans nipples are sensitive, he's just sensitive in general with y/n, fingering, needy chan, members teasing, talk of edging, talk of bdsm, these two are VOCAL as hell, so lots of moaning, groaning, whining, whimpering, mewling, and dirty talk during sex, unprotected sex (piv), pull out method (again don't do this, practise safe sex), much cringe, much awkward, but they overcome it (LMK if I forgot any, I'm sorry)

{ Disclaimer } - This work is in no way associated or depicting the actual life of the members of SKZ. It is a fictional piece of work, and I do not own Stray Kids. All works of fiction are loosely inspired by SKZ, and in no way am I saying it is true to their character.

{ A/N } - Alright almost a month later, and I finally finished part two!! Please don't hate meeee, I beg your forgiveness, please. It took me a while because I just couldn't stop writing and adding things. Editing also took FOREVER, because I wasn't confident that it would satisfy you guys. I'm still not sure. So I apologize if this didn't live up to your expectations, again, please be gentle with me ♡. Understand that this is only my 2nd SKZ fic, so I'm still learning about how to portray each character, and how to piece things together seamlessly!

Chan was starting to worry. It had been almost two weeks and he still hadn't seen you, nor heard from you. It wasn't like you two really spoke outside of questioning the other about Jisungs' whereabouts. There were the occasional texts, again about Jisung. He didn't know what to say to you to begin with. Apologize? He already did that, and it only seemed to make you more upset. But that was in the moment, and both your emotions were on overdrive. 

The other members were starting to notice your absence, questioning Han about it. Asking if you were okay. You'd even started avoiding all the public areas at the building. No one was even sure if you were eating during the day, or there at all. You didn't go to the cafeteria, break rooms, or practise rooms. No one caught you in the lounge areas, elevator, or the stairwell. No one even saw you coming into or leaving the building. It was to the point where Hyunjin was nearly planning steakout missions with Jisung. And poor Ji. He only got to see you twice since that night. A drastic decrease in comparison to how often he usually spends time with you. Chan only knew that because he overheard him talking to Minho about it. That was all he heard before Han noticed him standing there, and left for his room, sending him a spine chilling glare along the way. 

And Chan knew it really was all his fault when Minho just gave him a curiously sad look, and patted him on the shoulder. You obviously said something to Han, who said something to Minho. He wonders who else knows how bad he messed up. 

He was racking his brain trying to figure out how to fix this. Never in a million years had he thought he'd actually get a chance to experience such a quintessential moment with you. He'd liked you for so long, it was starting to turn into more than that. Ever since he'd seen you helping a new trainee navigate the building, he grew interested in your kind heart first and foremost. He's sure he's been through all the emotions. Excitement, because you started hanging around with them and you fell right into the dynamic so easily. Anxiety, because he didn't know how to approach you at first. Jealousy, when Han got all of the attention from you. Anger, when he thought you and Han started dating secretly. Embarrassment, when he realized how wrong he was. Hope, when you two shared a hug, even though it was a very awkward hug. Despondent, when he still couldn't figure out how to act around you, letting whatever growing friendship you two had begun, stall. And now regretful. But not regret for kissing you, touching you, or nearly fucking you. No, regret that he had stopped. 

Such a beautiful moment, where he was truly lost in bliss. And he halted it. He let his anxiety get to him, his internal conflict wouldn't shut up.

He truly was worried about the technicality of it all. The rules, the company, the media, the fans. Worst of all, you would receive the brunt of it. He didn't know how to protect you from it all. He was constantly going back and forth in his head. How could he make it work? Would you even want to make it work? Did you even like him? What did you think about him exactly? 

He wasn't blind. Every once in a while he'd catch your eyes on him for a little too long. Any 'accidental' physical contact you had with him would linger. And he knew there was a certain smile you'd reserved just for him. Not to mention, you were always the first to reach out directly, and make conversation with him. He was always too afraid to. He felt like a coward. And when he finally had the courage to make a move, a bold move, a ravenous move... His ego suddenly deflated when he realized his actions could be taken the wrong way.

He panicked.

He doesn't want you to think that he just wants sex from you. That you're just a fling. A one night stand. A hookup. No he wanted to do it the right way. He wanted to take you on a date, he wanted to learn more about you, to meet your friends. He wanted you to meet his family, to meet Berry. He even fantasized about planning a special date to ask you to be his girlfriend. He fantasized about anniversaries, about holidays spent together, a life spent together. He wanted to give you the world. He fell for you hard. And in that moment, he felt like he was doing it all backwards. So he stopped. It nearly killed him, but he stopped. And he should've done anything, quite literally anything else but stop.

When he saw the spark in your eyes dimming, only to be replaced with apprehension. He immediately apologized, and spat out a quick blurb about being inappropriate. 

Your entire face just sunk, and he shut down. There was nothing more he could say about it, not in that moment. And he felt even worse when you said you understood, but he didn't let it show. You didn't understand, not really. There was no way in hell you could, and he desperately wanted to just spill everything that second. But he wanted to be sober, wanted you to be sober, so instead he told you to drink water. And go to bed. 

What the hell was wrong with him. 

He even made sure to wake up early the next morning, anticipating to somehow get the chance to talk to you. When you came running down the hall, he was sure that it was fate. The chance that you two had alone time this early was perfect. He had hoped that this would all be sorted out. If he confessed, maybe you would too. Then he could explain last night, and you two could talk about it. And if it didn't work out like that, at the very least he could try to preserve your friendship. It would be painful to remain just friends, but he didn't want you out of his life. He couldn't imagine that. He doesn’t think he could handle that. After he greeted you, he noticed your eyes had tears in them. You were starting to hyperventilate, and tremble. 

Then you were leaving. 

Even though he's come up with world class lyrics, he seemed to be failing with his words lately. He didn't ask if you were okay, or what was wrong, or breach the topic that was clearly needing clarification. No, instead, he followed up with asking if you wanted breakfast. 

You didn't even look at him. The tone of your voice was glacial, freezing him right to the spot. He'd never heard you sound like that. He just stood there, watching the door close. Listening to your car start, listening to you drive off. And then he stood there more, afraid to move. 

When Jisung came running out 15 minutes later, he was still standing there. Han saw your things were gone, and knew that you left. Chan only decided to move when Han uttered five angry words to him. 

'You really fucked up, Chan.'

He knew he did. And he didn't know where to begin to fix it...

"--Channie-hyung!" 

He whipped his head up, and found Jeongin snapping his fingers in front of face, trying to get his attention. 

They'd been at dance practice, taking a break. He only then realized that he'd zoned out the entire time, not eating, not grabbing water, not even sitting down. Just recounting his mistakes, and dwelling on them. Now it was time to get back to work. 

Jeongin was giving him a strange look, but he didn't dare question him. In addition to messing things up with you, he'd been too on edge. Snapping at one too many people. He didn't want to risk Chan blowing up on him next.

"Where's Hannie and Hyune?" Chan questions.

"Probably still in the cafeteria..." Minho responds, giving him a knowing look. 

Minho was the one keeping both him and Han in check at the moment. He felt bad for forcing him into a position like that, considering he was Chan's younger member. Even if it's just one year. Having to be a mediator daily between his two brothers, he knew it must've taken a toll on him. But he never complained, and Chan was grateful nonetheless. 

Chan nodded, and went to grab water from his bag. As he was chugging it, Jisung came into the room and went straight to Minho. Furiously whispering at him, pushing his hair back. Hyunjin trailed in not long after, his eyes darted to Chan, but looked away quickly. 

"What's going on?" Seungmin asked.

Minho just put his hand up to him, and the younger one scoffed. He turned to Felix, "The hyungs are acting fucking weird lately." 

Felix hummed in agreement, as he continued massaging Changbin. 

"Aye, I don't know what's going on either, don't group me in." Changbin grunted.

Chan hesitantly approached the bickering pair, and the look Minho now gave him was one of warning. But it was too late. 

"It's all your fault." Han spat at him. 

"Excuse me?" He bit back, not expecting such an outburst from him.

Hyunjin quickly jumped up to try and get between them and explain, "We saw y/n in the cafeteria toda-"

"She isn't coming over this weekend again. And she's not letting me over to hers either. She wants to be alone. I wonder why." Han interrupts, crossing his arms.

The room was eerily quiet. Everyone knew something was up, that much was obvious. The fact that Han was slightly vague though, it gives Chan the idea that the exact details remain relatively private. 

"Is she still here?" Chan whispers through clenched teeth, holding fierce eye contact with Han, but he's getting more daring.

"She's about to leave. YOU," Han pointed to Chan, poking his finger right into his chest, "need to figure your shit out, and stop playing around. Fix. It."

"HAN JISUNG." Minho yells sternly, "You need to stop being so disrespectful. No matter the situation, remember who you're talking to. Let's take a walk." 

He drags Han out of the room, and down the hall.

Chan was left standing there, ears burning and fists trembling at his sides. It was safe to say practice was done early for the day. So he quickly dismissed everyone, and was the first to leave.

He found himself searching for you throughout the building, with no luck. Until the elevator doors opened, he stepped on with his head hung down. So consumed in his own thoughts again, he didn't realize the other person at first. 

When he lifted his head to finally greet them, he was faced with you. You refused to even look at his way, choosing to face straight forward at the exit. 

"Y/n..." He managed to croak out, weakly. 

Silence, still. As soon as the doors opened, you rushed out. He was stuck standing there again. 

It was early Friday night, and you were already wrapped in the blankets on your bed. Aimlessly scrolling and tapping on tiktok, not even really paying attention to any of the videos. 

You weren't used to spending this much time alone, not anymore. You wanted to go see the people who you realized felt like home to you, especially in this foreign country. But you didn't want to deal with the fallout of the oldest. Jiji did beg to come over... You'd been missing him so much. You'd been missing everyone so much, even your co-workers.

Most of the work you do can be done from home, on your personal pc or work laptop. The majority of your co-workers had periods of time where they wouldn't set foot into the building for weeks at a time. You knew it wouldn't be weird to them if you worked from home for a while. So you've been opting to do that, only going into the building if you absolutely needed to.

Until today that is. At nearly 4 in the morning you were cc'd on multiple emails. The constant dinging woke you up. There was a huge issue with a group's new M/V. Footage was corrupted, drafts were deleted, and it had already passed the deadline. They needed all hands on deck. You were in such a rush to come in, you didn't bring any food or drinks with you. You had arrived about an hour after receiving the email, so by the time afternoon rolled around, you needed to get something in your system. Thankfully the major issues had been solved, but now came the fine tuning. You could finish up at home, but truthfully you missed being out and about. Even if it was just at work.

You reluctantly made your way down to the cafeteria, thinking you'd be safe because you know SKZ's schedule for today. You knew they'd be in dance practice. Oh how surprised you were when Jisung nearly tackled you to the ground. He was on you as soon as you came down the stairs to the main level. Your heart hurts when you see the glossy look in his eyes, paired with sadness. Hyunjin was right next to him, trying to pry him off of you and avoid a scene. Instead you pulled him into a group hug, which he eventually accepted, wrapping his arms around the both of you. 

They both badgered you with questions. Asking where you'd been, what happened, if you were mad at them. You were honest with them, and nearly broke down again. You weren't okay. You were hurt, and angry. But you assured them that you weren't angry with any of them, besides one obviously. And even though Jiji didn't bring up Chan exactly, or that night, you did. You started ranting about how stupid you felt for what happened. You've been holding it all in for the longest time, the words were rolling off your tongue effortlessly. 

You could see that at first, Hyunjin was a little shocked and confused. Possibly embarrassed judging by his pink tinted cheeks. But he held your other hand, that Ji wasn't holding, supporting you either way. You couldn't begin to express your appreciation. You'd half expected all the members to know exactly what happened. You also figured they'd side with Chan, and be upset at you for cutting off all contact basically. Considering Hyunjin didn't know what happened, you knew that wasn't the case. Relief washed over you slightly. 

It would be better if less people knew, less people to pick sides. In the grand scheme of things, this was only really between two people. There was no need to involve anyone else directly. On top of that, you'd never ask any of them to pick your side, not only because you know where you'd stand compared to their leader. You also wanted to avoid negative drama, and any arguments that might start with them.

Jisung begged you to come over tonight. Said that they would figure it out, that he would take you to his room even. He tried to make you laugh saying he'd even hang a sign saying 'no Chan's allowed' on his door. But you refused, not wanting to create uneasy tension, or make anyone feel uncomfortable in their own home. 

He then offered to come over and have a night just the two of you, and as tempting as it was, you found yourself wanting to be alone. Your go to method for self soothing was always solitude, even if it wasn't always healthy. 

You could see him deflating the more you denied his offers to spend time together. The anxiety was growing in his eyes. Knowing him, he was fearing that this was the end of your friendship. That simply could never happen.

'Give me just a few more days, and I'll be over it all. I'll be back to normal.'

That's what you told him, but you didn't even know if that was true. Regardless, you refused to lose your best friend over a situation like this.

One thing's for sure, you need to stop isolating. It wasn't helping as much as you convinced yourself it would. Just as you were debating texting Ji that you changed your mind, and to come over. Your phone chimed, and it was Jiji, he texted you first.

You threw the blankets off, opting to keep on your pajama shorts instead of changing. You slid a hoodie on over your cami though, because you refused to put a bra on. 

They're your friends and you know they'd never judge you or your home. Still you tidied up the take out containers, cups, and cans left in your kitchen and living room. You folded your throw blankets, and fluffed up the pillows on your couch. You quickly picked up the clothes strewn across your apartment, and threw them into your room. You'd deal with the laundry later. Lastly, you went to take the garbage out, and as you turned to go back inside, a car drove up and Ji hopped out. He was in a hoodie, with the hood pulled up. He also wore sunglasses, and a black mask. 

"Y/nie!" Ji said and ran up to hug you.

"Long time no see." You joke, wrapping your arms around him. 

Hyunjin was also semi disguising himself, also in a hoodie. He had a baseball cap on, with his hood also up. He covered his eyes with the visor, and wore a black mask as well. He sent off the driver with a thank you and wave.

"Don't tease. It's been an excruciating amount of time. I need to recharge." He said squeezing you tighter.

"Hey y/n." Hyunjin walked up next, carrying bags full of goodies. 

"Hey! Come on, give me those, let's get inside." 

After you lead them in, you guys get comfy in the living room. They brought drinks, and loads of snacks and candy. In no time, you fell into that familiar and comfortable groove of your usual weekend shenanigans. Just a smaller circle this time.

"So," Ji started with his cheeks full of cheesecake, "I got in trouble with Minho." 

"How?!" You giggled. 

"I think Minho saved you actually, the way Chan was looking at you? He needed to get you out of there, you were NOT giving it up." Hyune said. 

"Wait, what happened?" You sat up more, worried now. 

"Tchh, he wouldn't have laid a finger on me." He tried to act confidently, but the way he rubbed his hands together told a different story.

"You guys fought?!" You gasped.

When Ji said nothing, and avoided your eyes, Hyune decided to speak up.

"They've been fighting. Mostly silently. You know, avoiding each other, sending the other looks and glares. But some days Hannie can't keep his mouth shut."

You gave Ji a stern look, and he just swallowed his cake.

"Anyways," Ji said, clearly trying to get the subject off of Chan, "Minho was so angry with me. I got scolded so much, I nearly cried."

"Well, yelling at Chan in front of the entire group probably wasn't the smartest thing to do..." Hyune mumbled.

Suddenly, concern washed over you. Surprisingly for Chan. You couldn't help it when the words just slipped out.

"So... how is Chan?" You attempted to sound nonchalant, stuffing your mouth with a brownie immediately afterwards.

They were both staring at you, unsure of how to answer. 

"He's... tense. I get something clearly happened between you two, but I don't know exactly what's up. He seems angry, and lashes out at people verbally... But he's sad too, he's been attempting to hide away from everyone too." Hyune says. 

"He has no reason to be angry." Ji snaps.

"Ji..." You say, "You should stop being so hostile to him. He didn't do anything to you..." 

Damn that soft spot in your heart, even when you've been completely devastated by him, you're sitting here defending him. 

He gave you the stern look now, "No. But he did something to hurt you. He's acting like a god damn fuck boy, and I always knew him to be better than that. I've never seen you like this! He made you stop visiting us, you even stopped talking to me throughout the day. He created a divide. And I'm sorry to be selfish, but whether or not it was done to me, it still affected me too!"

The anguish in his voice shot through your chest, creating that god awful sinking feeling. He was right, but still... it wasn't only Chan that held the blame. You were guilty of your own actions. You never should've pushed any of them away, especially Hanji.

"Okay, I have to ask. What the hell happened, it seems like he did something really bad." Hyunjin finally asked, worry written all over his face.

Ji refused to look up from his cheesecake, he was now just mashing it up angrily on his plate. 

"I like Chan." You blurted out, "Well, I liked him. I still like him? I'm trying to get over him though. But it's proving to be more difficult than I thought, so maybe it's more than me just having a crush. I don't know. It feels ridiculous to have such big emotions towards him, considering we struggle to even hold a conversation. I know nothing substantial about him, and I'm sure it's vice-versa. But the last time I was over... We ended up... halfway hooking up in the hall? But he stopped. And he looked at me like I was crazy. Like he forgot who I was, and like... like he was disgusted that it was me he was touching." You started rambling now. 

"And I mean I get it. I'm me, nothing special. We were drunk, and I'm sure with the way we were feeling, it could've just been chalked up to hormones on overdrive. But... I really thought he was reciprocating my feelings. I feel so stupid, to put that much value into sex. It's just sex. And it didn't even happen! I don't know. It just hurt, it still hurts. The regret in his eyes, that stung so bad. Because I didn't regret it, fuck, I don't regret it... I'm just so angry. I can't seem to move on from this."

They both sat listening to you, as tears began to well in your eyes. Ji pulled you into him, your head resting on his chest. Your arm rested on top of his stomach, the other sliding between his back and the couch. He was carding his fingers through your hair, and scratching your scalp lightly, like he knew you liked.

"Stop talking down on yourself. I don't like seeing you tear yourself down with lies." Ji mumbled.

"I'm sorry you're going through this... Have you two... talked at all?" Hyunjin asked.

"No. I'm trying to avoid that. I already got my heart ripped out once, I don't want to go through it again." You nearly sobbed, thinking back to how he approached you in the elevator. All he said was your name, but his voice was filled with such strong emotions that you couldn't decipher. You'd just assumed it was still regret, and ran out of there as fast as you could. 

Hyunjin rubbed your knee comfortingly, "But maybe talking would help... I'm not trying to make excuses for him. He should've spoken up at that point, offered some sort of explanation or reassurance, something. That's on him for not opening his mouth, you'd obviously be confused about the whole thing. I don't know if you're interested in fixing things and talking it out, or even remaining friends with him. Regardless, I feel like some sort of closure would help you and help him. And unfortunately that does involve talking it out."

You nodded your head, "It probably would, but I don't feel like I'm ready. You didn't see his eyes. I can't handle it if he looks at me like that again." You whispered the next sentence, "I don't want anyone to look at me that way again. "

"I don't think Chan would ever be disgusted by you, I mean judging by the looks some of us have caught him giving you. He definitely finds you attractive, as he should." He smirked, making you give a breathy laugh through the tears, "Frankly, I'm shocked that you were even interested in him. I mean have you seen me?" He gestured to his face dramatically, turning from side to side and gave a few poses.

You and Ji both chuckled at him.

 "Or Felix? Even Innie lately is growing more into his features! Why not one of us?!" He nudged your leg with a laugh.

"HEY! If anyone gets to date my Jagi, it's obviously me. We'll be two hot, married best friends who suffer in abstinence, because we can't bring ourselves to consummate the marriage." Ji suddenly slurs, holding onto you tighter. 

Yeah, he was a little too quiet there for too long, the alcohol must've hit him.

You burst out laughing, and shove him away from you, "Gross Jiji!" 

"And thank you Hyune, but I feel like that can't be true. Even if he has checked me out, that's superficial. I mean we're human, we can feel a basic level of attraction to someone we see for only 2 seconds, and never get to see them again. When I say I like him, it's more than just a physical relationship. I know it's illogical, for so many reasons. Like I said, I barely even know him. There's been no attempt to even get on the same level, like how I know the rest of you. We barely talked, we had that huge argument, and he's always kept some distance from me... there's always been a detachment. So for me to want to be with him, even after all the signs of him wanting nothing to do with me? It's insane. He could never want that, could never want me. Not beyond a quick fuck apparently. And he couldn't even go through with that..."

You know you're starting to sound repetitive and bitter, and a little pathetic. But damn it, this hurts. And these thoughts were consuming your mind in a vicious continual cycle. 

Hyunjin just hummed, neither agreeing or disagreeing, "You know you can't help emotions y/n, they're borderline instinctual. Especially love, and I'm not saying you're in love with him, but to care for someone? That passion? It's got to count for some kind of love. It's such a powerful feeling, we have no control over it, it's humorlessly funny like that." 

You were listening to him talk intently, he was so poetic. Maybe it was the fact you were a little tipsy, but you were thinking that he should write more songs. More love songs specifically. 

"If we could control it, there'd be much less heartbreak in the world I think. Unrequited love wouldn't exist... With that in mind though, there'd be a lot less love overall. I mean think about it, love almost always comes with some sort of eventual pain. There'd be many people who'd just opt out altogether..." He paused for a moment before continuing, "And never discount things as impossible, everything is possible. I'm not saying this to try to give you hope or destroy your hope. I'm not saying this to persuade you either. I'm just saying sometimes things aren't so black and white. Grey exists too, and it's a pretty beautiful shade if you ask me. I think you should talk to him about it." He finished

You nodded and offered a smile, "Maybe I should, and thank you."

You gestured for him to join you and Ji on the couch, and he rested against you. His head on your shoulder, creating a momentary cuddle pile, with you sandwiched in the middle.

You were so grateful to these boys, helping to piece you back together when you felt so broken. And over something seemingly insignificant to most. Ji was physically comforting you, and Hyune was comforting you mentally and emotionally. He just seemed to understand the world on a different level, able to see perspectives that might not always be clear to most. His mind was a beautiful place, and you felt honored that he let you in. You both formed a special bond tonight, similar yet completely different to you and Ji.

And, oh Ji... he wasn't getting off scot free.

"And you," You looked up to Ji, who was looking down at you wide eyed, "You need to apologize for your behavior with Chan. I understand you want to protect me, and I love you for that. Immensely. But he's your leader. He's done and sacrificed so much for you and your members. I'm sure no one knows what's going through his head. Stop giving him such a hard time... I'll figure out a solution with him eventually... even if it's just practicing being civil with each other. For now, try not to take things out on him. I'm sorry I stopped coming around. That fault lies completely on me, and it was petty. I won't avoid anyone anymore, so promise me you'll apologize. And that means as soon as you see him!"

He looked at you, processing your words before answering, "...fine. But seriously... don't go dark on me again, Jagiya." He said quietly. 

You smiled, and snuggled up closer to him, "I won't, my poor baby."

The three of you continued chatting, catching up on all the crazy things you missed out on. Apparently a lot can happen in two weeks. You were angry you missed out on a weekend camping trip. Apparently they all had gotten so drunk, except Chan. And I.N. kept threatening to hit people with his shoe. They informed you that Chan was very quiet on the trip. He kept to himself mostly, and binge ate ice cream instead of sharing a drink with the rest. 

You couldn't get your mind off Hyunjin's words. Chan has been watching you? The amount of time you spent checking him out, you'd figured if that were true you would have noticed. Maybe he was sneakier than you thought. Then again, that night your eyes did meet more than once or twice... You kept catching him looking at you. Maybe what Hyune said was true.

You were stuffed, full of candy and sweets. And also a little tipsy. It was getting late. Close to an hour later, you sent them home in a rideshare, telling them both to text you when they get home. Then you made sure to text Minho, alerting him of exactly how drunk Han was, and apologizing. You knew he'd be the one stuck taking care of him, if there's anyone who loves Ji as much as you, it's Minho. He might love him even more, having known him for much longer than you did. If the boys didn't have such a busy schedule this week, you'd be able to have Ji and Jinnie spend the night and take care of them yourself. 

A weight was lifted off your shoulders, and you silently cursed yourself for hiding yourself away for so long. You always did that, and it never ended well. You really were thankful to Ji, you don't know what you'd do without him.

That night, you felt yourself drifting off to sleep quicker, easier. But even as slumber was pulling you in, Chan was still on your mind. 

Chan was sitting on the couch with Minho, having been forced out of his room and pushed to socialize. He hadn't done much, he was in his thoughts again. Occasionally entertaining the others with curt responses and short conversations here and there. They seemed to just be happy with his presence, and he was thankful for that.

Jisung and Hyunjin had gone to your house, and the unknown made him feel uneasy. He was happy though, because that meant you weren't cutting everyone off, you weren't done with the entire group, you were staying in their lives.

Everyone but the man that fucked up it would seem. Still, he felt relief. He wouldn't forgive himself if he was the cause of a valuable friendship lost for everyone.

The rest of the members had gone to sleep by now, but he and Minho were waiting for the two younger members to arrive home. You had texted Minho saying they were on their way back, and to take care of them as they were drunk. Jisung especially. 

He was wondering what was taking them so long, and he could tell Minho had some worry too. His leg shaking up and down. Then, as if on cue, Hyunjin bursts through the door. He has Hannie in his grasp, pulling him along as he tries to resist entering the dorm.

Hyune mumbled, "C'mon. You promised her." 

He started to feel flushed, and hot. What does that mean?

He gave Hannie a push towards Chan, and Minho gave a worried look to both of them. He was expecting the worst. Jisung was staring at his feet, playing with his fingers and biting his lip. 

Chan didn't think he could feel more disheartened than he already was, but it was apparently possible. Staring at Hannie in front of him, he looked so defeated. What had happened at your house?

Finally he looked up to Chan. And Chan was sure his face mirrored the younger ones anxiety. 

Then Han started tearing up, "I'm sorry Channie-hyung!" He wailed, and collapsed into Chan's arms. 

Chan was shocked, but he just held him close, and softly shushed him, trying to comfort him. He was trying to offer understanding and his own apologies. But Jisung ignored it babbled on, recanting his negative actions and harsh words. Chan respected the fact that he was apologizing, but he already knew why he had said the things he said. Why he had done the things he did. In fact, he held a sense of pride towards Hanji for it. It wasn't easy for him to stand up to Chan. And while, yes, he was being inappropriate from a certain viewpoint, he expected nothing less from the boy trying to protect his best friend. He couldn't be angry with him about that fact.

If anything he just felt more guilty that he had to protect you from Chan at all.

He continued slurring, stuttering, and sniffling in between talking. His words were barely coherent at this point, but Chan did catch one sentence.

"I thought I was losing her forever because of that night..."

Chan never felt more disappointed in himself, his entire being crumpled. Not only did he hurt you, he hurt Han. He's hurt the other members who grew to care for you just as much as he did. He never intended to hurt anyone, and instead he hurt many. It was all his fault.

With the help of Minho, they dragged Han to bed. Minho stayed with him, tucking him in, then getting him water and paracetamol for the morning. Minho stated he'd be spending the night in Han's room, just in case he was going to be sick. So Chan went out to check on Hyunjin, hoping he wasn't as inebriated but expecting as much. He found him in the kitchen, a bottle of water in one hand and a chip bag in the other.

"You feeling okay, Hyunjin?"

"Yeah, I didn't have as much as Han did..." He trailed off, "Neither did y/n." He was eyeing Chan as he continued, a glint in his eye while he said it.

Chan just nodded and kept silent, knowing he was trying to get at something. And it didn't feel like it was anything but teasing. Hyunjin wasn't having that though, he never did when people ignored what he had to say.

"Y/n made Han apologize you know," He started as he opened his chips, "I mean we both know he would've eventually. But she made him promise he would apologize as soon as he saw you."

That piqued his interest somewhat. He didn't view you as a mean person, but he figured you wouldn't mind seeing him distressed due to Han. In fact when he was standing in front of him, he was sure that he was about to get cussed out. By order of you, maybe. Considering Hyune said that Han promised you something. He wouldn't blame you, he deserved it after all.

But no. You were continuing to be your kind and sweet self. Even towards the person who upset you. He was confused.

"Why?" Chan finally whispered, more to himself than Hyune. 

"I believe her words were, 'he's done and sacrificed so much for you' and 'no one knows what's going through his head'. So she suggested that he, well more like intimidated him, to apologize." He said while dipping his hand into the bag of chips, "It was cute, really. She was almost... protective." 

With that he popped a chip in his mouth, and went off to bed, leaving Chan dumbstruck in the kitchen yet again.

His heart was thumping in his ears, unsure of how to interpret those words. But they meant something, right? Hyunjin was a tease, sure, but he must know what happened. He wasn't just teasing about this? Surely he wouldn’t go to that extent.

'No one knows what's going through his head.' 

You were right. No one knows. You don't know. He needed to talk to you, he needed to let you know. He needed to let you in, even if it was hard.

Suddenly he felt hope again. It was small and shriveled, but alive. He was sure with enough care and nourishment, something precious could bloom from it. 

The week flew by, and now it was nearing the weekend again. Things almost felt normal. You had returned to the office regularly, no longer working from home. Your time with Ji had gone back to normal, Jinnie often tagging along now. And the other members were glad you had started showing up again too. Everyone was excited to recommence the late night antics at their dorm tonight.

You couldn't help but notice Chan seemed relieved too, a little too relieved. Even though you clearly gave him the cold shoulder. It didn't seem to bother him. You obviously have an idea of why his attitude towards you changed drastically, but what you don't have an idea of is what his goal is. You can't necessarily say he's acting as if nothing had happened anymore, because of his new demeanors. But he still hasn't mentioned anything to you directly. His gall was starting to irritate you. His mixed signals were angering you. 

If you were to think logically and assume, maybe in his head, he had been attempting some sort of effort to 'fix' things. But you tried to shut it down every single time, still unsure of his reasoning. Because he still never brought up that night, and was acting as if nothing happened at all. As if his reasoning for trying to be more friendly didn't exist. It was ridiculous. 

Before that night, it was always you making sure to greet him first, you striking up small talk, you trying to crack jokes with him. All small and simple gestures, but gestures nonetheless. If only to keep things polite and civil. The tables seemed to have turned, and now he was initiating it all. In front of others you were short with him, but made sure to still be polite. There was a deeper detachment than before, and it didn't go unnoticed by the others either. Though they kept their mouths shut, only eyeing the interactions between you two. 

In your head you figured that he'd get the hint and stop trying so hard at whatever it was he was trying at. You hoped it would trigger a conversation about that night finally. It got to the point where it started to create an awkward vibe in the presence of the others. But no, he still wouldn't stop. He just amped it up, and now the dynamic was once again changing. 

He'd figured out the exact times you would take your breaks, and would manage to catch you before anyone else could. When you stepped off the elevator, he'd be waiting for you with a smile, and offer to buy you a snack. You'd decline, instead opting to take a small walk and stretch your legs. When you get back to your desk you'd find your favorite cookies on them, or your favorite candy bar, or your favorite drink from the vending machine. They were always wrapped nicely or bagged with a bow, with a note attached. It usually reads something like, 'don't forget to eat today! --Channie'. 

You would always hand them out to your co-workers, or offer the singular items to your office bestie, before crumpling the note and throwing it out. 

He'd taken to somehow always being there to hold a door open for you. Or trying to hold your bags when he caught you using the stairs instead of the elevator, actively trying to avoid him. Or when you were helping staff move the camera equipment from room to room, he'd try to take the load off your hands. It always ended in you snapping at him in a whisper. And him furrowing his brows like he didn't understand what he did wrong.

It's not that his actions were wrong, actually. They were the opposite, but why? Why was he doing all this, when he never did before. He was putting all this effort into acts of service, when all you wanted to do was talk. It was hard for you to bring it up, especially when he was acting so sweet yet pissing you off at the same time. 

You should've realized it'd be hard for him to bring it up too, but you didn't. Because of that, there was the Wednesday incident. 

You were heading home for the day, not having had a run in with Chan all day, and unsure how to feel about it. You were almost out the door when you heard heavy footsteps coming towards you from across the lobby, and your stomach twisted. 

Chan.

"Hey! Wait!" He said with a smile, "I'll walk you to your car." 

You'd had enough at that point. You rolled your eyes, and continued out the door. But you knew he'd catch up anyways. 

As his pace aligned with yours, he kept talking, "Sorry I couldn't catch you at all today, it was a busy one. It still is, I think I'll be stuck in the studio all night. Han too, we finally figured out the ho--"

"Chan!" You cut him off, "Really? What makes you think I'm in the mood to talk to you? What makes you think I was waiting for your presence at all? You don't need to apologize for being busy. We're at work. We're working. It's what we do." You spat out, more abrasive than you've ever been to him. 

He looked at you wide eyed, and you felt something akin to guilt pang in your chest. Immediately you ignored it, and kept walking. Only for him to latch onto your arm gently. 

"I don't understand." He said, discouragement lacing his voice. "I'm trying to... trying to--" 

"Trying to what? What exactly is it that you're trying to do? Because I can't figure it out. You're being so hot and cold, you went from one extreme to the other. I don't know how to decipher that."

"I just want things to go back to being okay again! I want us to be normal again." He said exasperated. 

"Okay?!" You chuckled, "Normal? Our normal was borderline avoiding each other, which I am keeping up with very well, thank you. Our normal was talking to each other out of necessity. Our normal was little to no interaction, unless we're in a group. Whatever you're trying at, it's not our normal!" You shouted.

"No, what I mean is-" but you cut him off again, too heated to think logically.

"Our normal definitely didn't include me against a wall, and your fingers inside me and around my throat. THAT is not our normal. And I know it made things uncomfortable. And I know you regret it. But how can you expect things to go back to being whatever you think 'okay' is, if we haven't even talked about it?" You took a second to suck air into your lungs that seemed to be burning with rage. 

"Instead you talk to me like that night never happened, and then you behave as if we've been best friends forever. You act as if that behavior, whatever your reason for it, isn't influenced by that night. You talk to me about things we never talked about before. We never caught up on how each other's day was, we never checked in with each other to make sure the other ate, we never took breaks together to get coffee or a snack and chat. You're expecting me to be the same as you, and ignore what happened. But I can't Chan, I can't do it. All I want is closure, instead it feels almost like I'm being led on. Before that happened, I was insignificant to your life. Our only connection being Ji! Then... then in an instant everything changed and then it changed again. It's confusing Chan. I'm lost here." 

The tears were brimming in your eyes, and his ears were the brightest red you've ever seen. The flush went to his cheeks, and down his neck, and the grip he had on your arm was trembling. He started to open his mouth again, but you were quick to stop him. You felt like all he would give you right now is excuses, and you weren't ready to hear that.

"Please, Chan. I'm the one who's trying. I'm trying to move past it, like you seem to want to. But it's harder for me. When I feel like this, all I want to do is go home and hide. I can't do that though, not again. I'm trying to be civil. I'm trying to be polite, for the sake of everyone in our lives. But you keep pushing for some sort of friendship we never had..." You felt the dampness on your cheeks now, and before you knew it, your last sentence slipped through, "And did it ever occur to you that I wanted more than a simple friendship?" 

At that he let your arm fall, and he took in a shaky breath. You figured now was the time he would say something, but he seemed frozen. Then he spoke in a soft tone.

"I'm so sorry y/n, I promise I can explain..."

That was it, your heart started to ache at the thought of his words. You weren't ready to be rejected again. So you rubbed your cheeks, one at a time, swiping the tears away and sniffling. He reached towards you again, stepping closer, but you stepped back. 

"I need to go."

And you left. You got in your car, and you held it all in. The whole drive home, you refused to let yourself process any of the conversation. Which in reality was less of a conversation, and more you blowing up on Chan. 

It wasn't until you stepped through your door that you sunk to the floor, back against your front door and started sobbing. You let it all out. The guilt for yelling at him. The despair over the rejection, that never left your heart. The embarrassment over the entire situation and how you were acting. Your unjust, pure anger. It all just came out in tears. You couldn't stop them, your only focus was on breathing when you could. 

You didn't know how long you stayed like that, hugging your knees and bawling your eyes out. But the sound of keys jingling, and the pressure of the door pushing against your back, is what snapped you out of that grief stricken daze.

"Oh, Jagiya..." You registered Hans voice as you stood up to move, you forgot you gave him keys to your place.

He scooped you into his chest, squeezing you tight. You held onto him, just as firm. 

"Wait..." You were confused, Chan said they both would be late in the studio, "What are you doing here?"

He pulled back and scanned your face as you sniffled. He sighs, and leads you into your kitchen, wetting a towel and dabbing at your puffy eyes and cheeks before drying them. Once you seemed to be in a pacified state, he continued. 

"An unintelligent kangaroo I happen to know, told me I should head home early and check on you. He seems to be more intelligent than I thought." He tried to make light of the situation, but guilt bubbled up in you once again. 

"Wanna talk about what happened?" He offered. 

And so you word vomited at him. Retelling the whole scene word for word, since the words were mostly your own. He listened, nodding when necessary, and humming in agreement to some parts. When you were done, you looked at him and waited. 

He was looking down with his arms crossed, leaning against your kitchen counter. He looked deep in thought. 

"Well?" You said desperately. 

"Well, I think it's good one of you finally broke the ice on it. You got it off your chest, you said what you needed to. Yeah, maybe you were rude. But now the door to talk about it finally was opened. However, maybe you should've heard him out. Seems like he could barely get a word in edgewise. If I know you when you're angry, which I do, I know you never planned on letting him speak. You always have to have the last word, my little attack chihuahua."

Then he poked your forehead, "Stubborn. Defensive. Both of you." 

You groaned, "I know, I know. I'm already beating myself up over it." 

"When will either of you learn? You don't need to beat yourself up over it, you just need to communicate. You missed your opportunity today, but that doesn't mean all hope is lost. I know he really wants to talk to you."

"Talk again?" You scrunch your face at the idea, even while knowing it had to happen.

"Apologize, is more like it." He retorted. 

Your face dropped, but you knew he was right. 

"Hey, you made me do it. And it was the right thing to do. Like you said, no matter how angry I am, I needed to apologize. The same rules apply to you... Plus I've been hesitant to say this but..."

"What?"

"If he wanted to stop in the middle of it all, he had every right to. I know it hurts but, no means no, you know?" 

Guilt flooded your veins yet again, are you really coming across as some sort of hostile person after facing a rejection? You suppose it was half right, which made you feel disappointed in yourself. You were no better than the men who throw tantrums when women reject them. In your mind though, you were more upset at ignoring it all. 

"I know that, and currently I'm not angry because sex didn't happen. I'm angry because I don't understand why it almost happened, and I want an explanation. I just want to know why he was so cold to me the entire time before it happened, and why he tried to act like nothing happened and was friendlier to me afterwards. If he wanted to stop because he changed his mind and wasn't feeling it, that's fine. But he could've said that, I'd be hurt because I like him so much, but I'd get over it. Why I'm upset now is because I don't like the mixed signals. I don't like the unknown. I want closure."

"To get closure you have to talk to him y/n, you avoid him just as much as he used to avoid you. Now that he's stopped, you're still avoiding him. And acting kind of rude to him, we've all seen it. The fake smiles don't really hide the contempt in your eyes. You're always valid in your emotions always, but I've recently learned that it's the reaction that you are held responsible for. That goes for him too, even though his reactions may not be as hostile as yours. His reaction of ignoring it, is just as hurtful to you. But... I have a feeling if you hear him out, you'll get your closure." 

Again, you knew he was right about it all. You knew you had been bitter and immature about the entire situation. You paced for a moment, thinking about how you could even apologize to him. He'd been trying to fix things, and talk just like you wanted. Why have you held on to all that anger for so long? You were in the wrong too, more so than he was. You needed to apologize quickly.

"Just take the night to process and decompress. You'll have plenty of opportunities to talk with him, especially since his mission in life lately is just that. Again, we've all noticed it, he can't seem to leave you alone."

"Do you know what he's up to?" You squint your eyes at Ji suspiciously. 

"He won't tell anyone exactly why he's doing what he's doing. But I have my own speculations, which I won't be sharing because I'm not trying to meddle and put ideas in your head. After talking with him a bit tonight, I don't think he's aiming to hurt you, that's for sure." 

You sighed again, and nodded. 

"Now. Dinner and comfort anime? I'm thinking.... Nana?" 

"God, yes please. I need a distraction from realizing how much of an asshole I was. That I was actually the one starting issues." You groan, and you both plop down the couch and start to order food. 

Ji went home half an hour ago, and you're now staring at your phone. Debating the text you typed up to Chan. Your finger was hovering over the send button. It would be better to apologize in person, but you weren't sure you could face him without some sort of emotional outburst anymore. It was something you needed to work on. So maybe smoothing things over through text before you spoke with him would help.  

You read it over one last time... God you sounded too professional, like you were talking to your boss. You hit send anyway, you weren't going to come up with anything better to say. You put your phone down, only for it to buzz a minute later.

Good... things are starting to get better. Or so you thought. 

You didn't see him at all on Thursday, nor spoke to him. You didn't see Jiji either, but he confirmed through text that Chan had been cooped up with him in the studio. You felt bad, knowing you probably added more stress to their jobs. Especially considering Ji ditched work yesterday to comfort you. 

Now it was Friday, and they were back at work in the studio again. Hyunjin was over yours because he finished up early, the both of you were just hanging out. Waiting for everyone else to get out. The nine of you were recommencing weekend get togethers.

"You should bring them food." Hyunjin, who was currently laying across your couch suggested.

He could sense your anxiety, constantly checking your phone for the time. He knew you wanted to talk to Chan, finally.

"I don't want to interrupt them, I already did that yesterday." You mumbled.

"Tch, like either of them would really view you as an interruption. They'd be elated."

"Ji? Yes, yes he would. You know things are weird between me and Chan though." You whined.

"Mmm, but this could be your chance to fix it." He suggested in a sing-song voice. 

You actually debated it, but you didn't want to prolong his work tonight by stealing time for a conversation. A most likely lengthy conversation. 

You looked at the clock, still debating and wondering if you had time. When you saw the time you realized it was much later than you thought. 

"Shit, forget food. We're going to be late." 

Hyunjin glanced at the time and nodded, "Alright, let's head to mine."

You grabbed your keys and headed for the door, Hyunjin followed and soon you both were in the car on the way to the dorm. 

Once you got there, and Hyunjin let you in, you realized everyone was already here, judging by the pile of shoes. It seemed, the majority were getting cleaned up and changed into fresh clothes. 

"I'm going to change too! I need to get out these jeans and into something comfier. Just make yourself at home!" He said while heading to his bedroom. 

You sat on the couch and started scrolling on your phone. You were laughing at a funny video when you heard someone walking down the hall. Of course Chan is the first to finish, and he decides to join you on the couch. He takes the seat next to you, like right next to you. 

"Um... Do you have to sit so close?" You say in the softest voice you could manage.

Remember. Stay level headed, no snapping, no meltdown, no blow ups. Don't yell. 

He looks at you a bit defeated, and moves to the other end of the couch. 

You sigh. Things were still touchy. It can't keep continuing on like this, it's too uncomfortable for you both. You have to apologize and make amends. It's now or never, but he speaks before you the chance. 

"Y/n. Is now a good time to talk?" He says in a serious tone, with a stern look on his face. 

You tense under his gaze, and your stomach feels like it's sinking. Was he that mad at you? You kind of understand why though. 

"S-sure." You stuttered.

His eyes darkened, tongue poking his cheek. He's getting shifty now, and glancing down the hallway.

 "Do you mind if we talk in private?" 

You suppose it would be even more uncomfortable if someone else happened across you two discussing this. So when he stands up and heads towards his room, you follow him into it. 

His room was neat. You'd never been in it before, and sure, you've seen the live streams. But it was a very different feeling, seeing it through a screen versus being inside it. 

He sits on his bed, and pats the spot next to him for you to sit. You opt for leaning against the door, arms crossed in front of you. You were feeling defensive still, and didn't want to push your limits. It was his turn to sigh now, as he hung his head.

"Y/n I meant it when I said I'm really tryi--"

"Can I say something first... and then I promised I won't interrupt you again."

He just nods, with his tongue poking his cheek again. You know you're pushing his buttons, but you felt you needed to apologize before anything. Now you decided to sit next to him, twisting your torso to face him. And he did the same to face you. 

"I'm sorry for the way I acted. It was incredibly childish." You sighed, "I know you had every right to change your mind, and I shouldn't have gotten so angry over it. I never meant to act so toxic towards you. I should've just accepted the fact that you wanted to stop and moved on. But the truth is... I've liked you for a while now. So when that happened, in my head, I took it as you reciprocating my feelings. Which doesn't make any sense, because you never knew of my feelings.”

Chan snorted a bit, trying to conceal a laugh.

“Then when you stopped, paired with the look on your face, it felt like you realized you made a mistake doing that with me. You looked like you were disgusted. Which I promise you, I now totally understand if that's the case. But it still hurt me... regardless, I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. So again, I'm sorry. I truly am. I hope you can forgive me." You managed to get it all out clearly, with a steady tone. 

He was staring at you with a thoughtful look on his face, soaking in your words, processing. Then he smirked, and that was the last thing you expected. 

"I guess you were acting a little bratty." He chuckled a bit. 

Then he reached for your hand, putting his on top of yours. You felt the fluttering in your stomach at his simple action. But you flipped your hand over anyways, palm up and letting him hold it.

"But y/n, you've got it all wrong, and it's partly my fault." He started, and your eyebrows furrowed, a look of confusion falling on your face.

"I like you too," he squeezed your hand gently, and it was oddly comforting, "The reason I stopped is because I didn't want you to think that all I wanted from you was sex. Because I want so much more." 

Were you dreaming? Is he really confessing right now? Even after how horrible you were towards him?

"I know the way I acted before doesn't exactly translate to me having feelings for you." He continued, "The truth is I was too scared to confess, until that night. The liquor gave me that extra boost of confidence, and you just... looked so beautiful. And the game we played, and catching you look my way multiple times. It almost confirmed to me that you wanted me too. Because I wanted you then and there. So when I saw you in the hallway, I thought it was my chance. But I let the lust take over."

Heat started to spread in your lower stomach at his words, and he kept going. 

"I wanted to do things the proper way. I wanted to confess, and ensure that you knew I was serious about you, and not a fling. I wanted to take you out on dates, and properly ask you to be mine. I should have just said it all that night. I got scared again though, and just froze. And I know the way I was acting right after was confusing, I didn't mean to give you mixed signals."

Your head was spinning with all the information he was sharing, it truly felt like you were in a daydream. Then you found your voice again.

"It felt like you were disgusted with me." You whispered, "And then you were acting so nonchalant about the whole thing, as if it never happened. I guess I was assuming things."

He cupped your cheek, and comfortingly rubbed his thumb against it

"I could never be disgusted by you, love."

You had to resist a shiver at him calling you that pet name.

"I wanted us both to be sober too. That's why I idiotically told you to drink water, and rest. And the next morning, I was so nervous because you were rushing to leave. You had tears in your eyes, I said the first thing to pop into my head. I was hoping to talk about everything that morning. But then you walked out the door, and I felt like I had no right to stop you.  Then Hannie was so mad at me, you stopped coming around. I felt like I fucked everything up and I lost all hope for a while." He sounded distraught.

“Until Hannie argued with me, yelling at me to fix things. He outright put the entire blame on me, and he did this in front of everyone. So that experience paired with your disappearance from our lives, especially Hannies life. He was so lost without you, I knew I had to try and fix it right away. I had been wanting to, I was just so unsure how to go about it. But Han's words pushed me to just go for it."

You took the opportunity to scoot closer to him, side by side now. He threw his arm around your waist. 

"The elevator... ugh. I was just so hurt, I was so sure that you were going to come up with excuses, try to let me down easy. I was terrified of the rejection. I had no idea, I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, we were both a little clueless about everything."

"I guess we were just a little stupid, huh?" You laughed.

He chuckled, "Just a bit."

"Then when Hyunjin happened to mention something, that's when I fully had hope again. So I tried to approach you, and be friendly, and get you snacks. I tried to help you out at work when I could. I was still unsure of how to bring it up to you." He admitted.

You felt so ashamed, "And then I went and yelled at you. I didn't even let you speak, ugh. I'm so sorry." 

"Again with the apologizing," He chuckled, "I told you, we were just confused about it. There was a lot of miscommunication... when we did talk anyways."

"I know, I was feeling and throwing mixed signals. All I wanted the entire time was to talk about it. Yet, I tried to avoid you at all costs. It doesn't exactly make sense. God, I was so... so childish."

"You were feisty is what you were. And I'm sure you still are." He joked.

You giggled. It was unbelievable how understanding he was. It was more shocking how wrong you were about his feelings. You had completely misconstrued everything. Assuming the worst. You couldn't be happier about being so wrong.

Nuzzling into his chest, and wrapping your arm around his torso, had him humming contently. But then you thought of what he said earlier. 

"What did Hyunjin say...?"

He cleared his throat, "When you made Hannie apologize to me, Jin said that you were acting almost protective over me. It made me think that I had a chance of proving my feelings for you."

"So that's the true reason why you were so friendly, and constantly getting me things and trying to help me out. You were lowkey trying to confess.” You looked up to him smiling.

He was blushing now, "Yeah, but I realize I was still doing things a little out of order. I'm terrible at communicating I guess." 

"Channie..." you said for the first time, and his blush got deeper, "I know it means a lot to you to do things traditionally. And I appreciate the effort you put in to accomplish that. But to me, it doesn't matter as much. We could've figured everything out afterwards." You said softly, and he was smiling down at you. 

"I guess I should catch up to the modern age." He joked. 

"Never! You prove that chivalry isn't dead. I love that you're a romanticist. Don't change." You laughed, "And... the communication problems? That's something we can both work on. I need to fix that in me too."

You felt him tense, and he caught your chin between his fingers, pushing you to look up at him further. You felt the warmth of his breathing spread across your face, he had that same look on his face as when he leant in to kiss you that night. Wetness was now pooling in your panties, and you had to resist clenching your thighs together. He was so in tune with your body language, and he caught it last time. You're sure he would notice again. You didn't want him to think you were rushing him into sex.

"So... does that mean you want to give us a go?" He was so serious when he said it, you could see the glint of excitement in his eyes though. 

"Of course, it's a dream come true." You smiled at him.

He was quick to bring his lips to yours, kissing you sweetly, softly. You sighed into the kiss, and felt like you were melting into him as you turned your body towards him more. You brought your hands up, one resting on the side of his neck, the other on his shoulder. He brought his other hand to the back of your head, and combed his fingers into your curls. 

He pulled you closer, deepening the kiss, licking your bottom lip. Your tongue met his, and soon you were wrestling against his for dominance. He started leaning you back against his bed, adjusting himself on top of you, knees on either side of your thighs. His hands roamed your body and he never broke away from your lips. You were nearly panting into his mouth, giving up and allowing him to explore your mouth. Your hands clutching his shirt like it would save you. The kiss was messy, downright sloppy, and you loved it. You were both desperate for this.

You wanted to imprint his touch into your mind. Every area he grazed made you feel tingly all over. Your entire body was oversensitive for him. You'd never felt like this with anyone else. 

Then he was playing with the hem of your shirt, his fingers grazing your stomach. You mewled at that, and he groaned. It was so high pitched it nearly sounded like a whimper. 

"Please... I still want you." He whispered against your lips. 

You were breathing heavy, chest heaving. You couldn't help it when your hips bucked up, letting yourself get consumed by lust, "Yes, god yes. I need you."

He re-positioned himself, lowering his body onto yours and letting his hips grind into you. You could feel his length against you through his shorts, and you whined. Even this felt like ecstasy, he almost made you cum last time from dry humping. He was so skilled at making sure you got friction exactly where you needed it. It was driving you feral. 

His lips attached to your neck, kissing, sucking, and biting his way down to your chest. His hand groped your breast, kneading it. Then he rolled over, flipping your position, so you were on top of him. It was your turn to grind your hips, your core rubbing directly on his erection. He threw his head back, mouth hanging open. His hands gripped your waist, helping you move against him. 

Things felt less rushed this time around. It felt like all time stopped, and the only thing that existed in the world was you and him. You wanted to be lost in this passion with him forever. The high he made you feel, made your head all hazy with desire. 

"Fuck..." He whispered as he looked up at you, seeing how fucked out you looked already. 

His hands slipped underneath your shirt, pulling it up. You took the hint and ripped it off, unclasping your bra afterwards. 

You had to admit, you felt your face flush again, at being exposed to him. But he soon wiped the thought from your mind, leaning up and placing soft kisses all over your chest. He kissed up to your collar bones, he kissed each mound, kissed in between them, he even kissed your nipples so gently. 

You were learning he was a tease.

One hand was kneading your breast again, the other braced against your back. Then his lips closed around one of your nipples, and his hot tongue swirled around it. His hand now playing with the other. Pinching, flicking, and rubbing. He braced the hand against your back, pushing you into him more, while he sucked your nipple harshly. You whimpered, and your hips started rolling against him again.

He pulled off with a pop, and mumbled "I could worship these tits love, all of you is so gorgeous."

His words made you blush, and then he pushed you onto your back again. He clearly wasn't scared to manhandle you at all. He was quickly unbuttoning and unzipping your jeans.

"Need to tase you..." He mumbled again.

You liked needy Chan, somehow he kept the perfect balance of dominant yet deprived for you. He positioned himself between your legs, kissing and licking every inch of them. He held your inner thigh, pushing your legs apart to expose your panties. He placed a kiss on your clothed center, and groaned at the wet spot that was already there. His tongue peeked out, and he licked a slow stripe up, making your underwear wetter. Your eyes rolled back and you sighed, craving more.

And did you mention that you loved how vocal he was? 

He licked his lips as he glanced up at you, mumbling "Taste so good, 'M gonna be addicted. Wanna be between your thighs all the time."

Then he spoke more clearly, with a smirk on his face "You're going to sit on my face one day. I want you to ride it."

You whined at the thought, and pushed your hips up, searching for friction. He took the opportunity to slide your panties to the side, and his tongue slid between your folds immediately. 

You moaned loudly as his tongue flicked against your clit. You felt like you were on fire, yet shivering at the goosebumps spreading all over your body. Your hand reached down to his hair, and he groaned again, making his lips vibrate against you. 

"Mmm... fuck." You moaned as you rocked your hips against his face. 

He has no objections, but he momentarily paused to rip your panties off. Then he wraps his arms around each thigh, forcing you to open wider for him. He buried his face in you, letting his tongue dip into your entrance. 

You gasped at the intrusion, your hand squeezing tighter into his hair. It had you nearly wailing. You'd never felt that before, and you think you could cum from it.

When his lips closed around your clit, he sucked. You were panting, feeling that familiar pleasure slowly coil in your lower abdomen. 

He wasn't shy at all about devouring you, making slurping and squelching sounds. He brought his hand to your entrance, and slipped two fingers inside. You moaned, and he let you adjust before curling his fingers and pumping into you. Your orgasm is building faster now. 

Writhing on the bed, and clutching his sheets, he did his best to keep you still. You were a moaning and whining mess. You couldn't help but be loud. His hand moved faster, as the tip of his tongue flicked at your clit. It was all too much as you felt your climax wash over your. You let out a desperate groan, your legs quivering as his hand squeezed your thigh tighter, preventing you from squeezing your legs shut.

Once you whimpered at the overstimulation, he stopped. Giving your clit one last kiss, sending one last shiver up your spine. Your chest was heaving, you were out of breath. He climbed up your body, wiping your juices and his saliva off his chin with the back of his hand. When he kissed you again, you could taste yourself on him, and you hummed as you licked against his tongue.

He kept kissing you, and you tugged at his shirt, "No fair, I'm completely naked and you're fully dressed."

He chuckled and sat up, pulling his shirt off. You reached up to feel his abs, fingers tracing between each muscle. You moved up to his pecks, and when your palm grazed against his nipple, he hissed. Picking up on it, it was your turn to kiss his chest, making sure to pay special attention to his nipples. Your tongue lapping at them, and then sucking them. 

He quickly turned into a whining mess. His voice making you grow wetter, and clenching around nothing. 

You really loved how vocal he was.

He made quick work of pulling his pants and boxers off, and leaned back down to kiss you. The pressure of his weight on top of you was comforting, and you placed your arms on his shoulders. His cock twitched against your core, and you were mewling again. 

He smiled against your lips and whispered, "Is my love needy right now?"

Then his fingers wrapped around your neck, and you bit your lip. Your hand was now on top of his, making him squeeze lightly, and you whined.

"Does my baby girl want to be choked right now?”

"Chan if you don't fuck me right now, I swear I'll--"

Before you could finish, he was gripping the base of his member. Sliding into you at a steady pace, and you gasped. He lets you adjust again. The length surprised you, and his girth stretched you deliciously. You always knew this man was hung. 

His hand never left your throat, and he did add more pressure around it. But you still desperately needed more.

He must've read your mind, or at least your face, "You're really into breathplay huh? Need it harder?"

Your mind was clouded in pleasure, you felt so full having him inside you. His hand on your throat only heightens it. So you nodded as best you could. 

"Remember, I need the words baby girl." 

"Yes, yes, fuck yes." You moaned.

He nearly growled as he pulled out and snapped his hips into you sharply. He kept pumping into you. Rolling his hips into you roughly, skin slapping against skin. His hand squeezed your throat tightly, cutting off all oxygen and then easing up, so you could get a proper breath in. Everything felt blissful, consumed by need. 

Your hips started rolling, meeting each of his thrusts. You were focused on making sure you both got off.

He had his eyes closed, face scrunched in concentration and panting, "Shit, you're so wet love. So tight, gonna cum too fast."

You clenched around him hearing that, and let out another whimper. You felt it building up in you again. His pace became uneven, and you knew he was nearing his climax. 

"Please..." he begged with a strangled whine, "Cum with me, can't hold on much longer."

"Channie... so close, just a little more." You panted back.

He removed his hand from around your neck and down to your clit, rubbing quickly in little circles. That was all you needed to let go, becoming a moaning and quivering mess. Your walls were clenching around him again, as you rode out your orgasm. 

He groans, hips stuttering before he pulls out of you. Giving himself a few pumps, he let out a loud and strangled cry as he finished. He was spurting ropes of cum all over your stomach, only slowing when the last of it was dripping down his cock and onto his fingers.

It was so sensual, you grabbed his hand and sucked them into your mouth. Making sure to lick them clean, keeping eye contact with him. His lips parted and he was looking at you so affectionately. When you finally popped them out of your mouth, he immediately caressed your face.

"How are you so perfect?" He murmured. 

He bent down and pressed a gentle kiss against your lips, and you slowly moved yours with his. This kiss was different, less desperate and more so savoring the moment. You felt lost in him. Nothing else mattered right now but you and him, the rest of the world melted away. You two were in your own bubble, and you couldn't be happier. 

When he pulled away, he spoke "That was amazing, my love." 

"It was." You giggled.

"I'm sorry it was a little rushed, I was craving you so bad." He said as he rested his head in the crook of your neck, a little embarrassed. 

Your fingers brushed through his hair. He was right, it was rushed on both ends. You both were a little clumsy, figuring out each other's bodies for the first time. But that doesn't mean the sex was horrible, he made you cum twice. 

"We'll have plenty of chances to take our time with each other. I think after everything, we were both hopelessly desperate for each other, and like you said. It was amazing Channie."

"I like hearing Channie coming from you, as different as it is." 

"Mmmm, I have to think of another pet name. You claimed 'love' already." 

He just chuckled, "You can call me whatever you want, Channie, love, Jagi. I don't mind."

"I think Ji would keel over if I called you Jagi instead of him." You giggled.

"Hannie can deal with it, he's not the only man in your life that's close to you anymore." 

Chan got up to get you a towel, and cleaned you up.

You felt satisfied, laying down facing each other, and still embracing. 

"So, about the other chances you mentioned. Maybe we can try out the edging you like so much. And all it takes for me to truly dom you is flipping a switch in my head and not holding back. I'm just not sure you can handle it."

"I can handle it, I'll be your perfect little sub." You snuggle closer to him.

"Hmmm, why do I doubt that for some reason. We already know how bratty you are."

"That just means more punishments for me, which I'm sure we'll both love."

"Is that so?" He started leaning in to kiss you.

Suddenly there was banging on the door. 

"Are you two finished? I'm assuming your finished since all the noise stopped." Hanji yelled.

You looked wide eyed at Chan and he had a smug smile on his face.

"We'd like you to join us, we're playing cards against humanity tonight. Besides it's my time with my Jagi again, I'd like to be able to see you." Jiji shouted through the door. 

You both scrambled to dress yourselves. He gave you his t-shirt, and some sweats. Slipping on nearly the same outfit, you opened the door to a pouting Ji. His face slowly transformed into a smirk as he looked you up and down. 

"Better fix your sex hair babes, although I guess there’s no hiding your hickies and bruises though." He leaned in and whispered, "I didn't know you liked it that rough, his fingers are clear as day on your neck. You nympho." He poked your tummy repeatedly. 

You nudged him and rolled your eyes, "Shut up." 

Channie came up behind you, and wrapped his arms around your waist, giving you a back hug. Just like that, Ji was back to pouting. 

"This means I have to share my cuddle time, ugh." He whined.

Chan just patted the top of his head, laughing, "You'll get used to it." 

"Hmph. I'm not going to stop calling her Jagi or babe or any other pet names. I was here first!" He stated.

Chan just chuckled, "I wouldn't expect you to Hannie."

He just turned around, still pouting, and headed back to the living room. You and Channie followed behind him, hand in hand. Eyes glued to each other, and smiling. 

"Oh great, we have to deal with this now, on top of you and Han overdosing us with PDA?" Seungmin complained. 

"I just knew something was up with you two, it's about time you fixed it." Innie commented. 

"Yeah, and by the sound of it. Making up went really well." Changbin jokes, then his eyes wander to your neck, "You know, for as much noise you two were making, I'd never expect you'd be choking her in there."

You blushed intensely, and Channie cleared his throat, smiling, and scratching the back of his head. The group laughed, and you and Chan took your seats. Which was him sitting in the chair as usual, and you sitting in his lap. 

"God, this is going to take getting used to." Hyunjin said with a smirk. 

"You act like you didn't partially help orchestrate this whole thing." Jiji teased. 

"What?!" Felix snapped, "And you didn't tell me?" Now he was pouting. 

"It wasn't my business to tell. Besides, I only nudged them a little bit to communicate. They both seriously lack in that area." Hyune responded. 

"Mmhm, I have to agree with that." Minho chimed in with a smug smile. 

"Alright, alright. Enough poking fun at us. All that matters is that things can go back to normal." Chan said. 

You faced him, "I still don't think this was our normal before, but it definitely can be our new normal now." 

He smiled and gave you a peck on the lips, to which the entire room started gagging, and acting disgusted. They got distracted while setting up the card game, Chan whispered something in your ear. 

"I know we've been doing things abnormally, and this might be a little fast. And we also have a lot more to talk about, but... Will you be mine?" 

You break out into a huge smile, and press your lips to his ear, "Of course Channie. I'd love nothing more than to be your girlfriend."

He turned his head to kiss you again, except this time it wasn't a peck. Your lips moved in sync for a few seconds, and everyone once again noticed. 

"Yeah, you were right Hyune. This is going to take A LOT of getting used to." Felix agreed.

"I don't think I've ever seen Chan-hyung like this before... It's a little weird." Innie chimed in.

"That's because he hasn't done anything like this before. Outright claiming someone? That's new territory for him." Minho said.

"No wonder it was so hard for him to pursue y/n." Seungmin said, "Although I really did have a feeling it was going to be Hannie that ended up with her."

Ji made a face, "Never. Our love isn't romantic, even though we both love skinship."

They were interrupted by the wet sounds of you both still making out. 

 Ji started pouting again, shouting, "Yah! Are we going to play or what? Surely you can both hold off until later, sheesh." 

You pulled away and you and Channie laughed.

"Alright, let's play!" You said excitedly. 

Maybe this was new territory for you, but you felt comfortable in it already. You were so glad that you and Channie were able to find solace in each other. Maybe you guys weren't quite in love yet, but you were elated that he returned your feelings fully.  

This is the normal that Chan was talking about, and you wouldn't dream of having it any other way.

Tag List: @jeonginsleftcheek @solandiszale @schniti-is-in-the-house @helloimacalumgirl @jagibangbangchan

@jupire @juwire @jennibahng @emonatural191 @sailor--sun

@mauvemelon @eczlipse @staytinyluv @bangtanskz17 @daehee

@gbskzlover @danceonmyheyday @sleeping-beau-tay @prettiichocolateprincess @aracy

@bbokarimenu @my-neurodivergent-world @haven-skies @irrevocable-exposure @readr1221

@tsunderelino @joyofbebbanburg @wildtokay @fuckthinking @loud-minhoe

@ddiidi @majorlymismanaged @skzenthusiastt @anylady-fics @antisocialties

@maisyyyyyy @meowmeowminnie @adieu-lisette @lookitsjess @kpopsstuffs

@bubblepop-stay @ohhlittlegirl @ang4lheart @spnwinchestersd

As always, please let me know if you'd like to join the taglist. And if you do, pretty please interact with my fics besides liking. Although I appreciate liking as well! Feedback is always cherished! ♡

But again, please be gentle in your criticism

[i-yap]

Batboys x quiet! reader(who is not quiet in private)

( some of the reasons for the quietness is a bit traumatic so uhh warning)

Dick grayson -

opposites attract is possibly my favorite trope ever. And that is exactly what you guys are . Not exactly golden retriever x black cat though people who didn't know you guys well assumed such .

Dick would get exhausted spending forever being charming and charismatic for even the most extroverted of people get tired when they had to manage multiple superhero teams, a detective squad and the whole batfamily.

You were silence, peace serenity almost..until you weren't. Grayson was worried about this relationship in the start, after all you guys were really different. He was afraid you were going to be annoyed by his sunshine self, and that when he isn't feeling like talking, the conversations would go silent.

But you really are so different when comfortable with someone, and its tough not to trust and drop your shield with grayson.

It took him by surprise slowly seeing you open up and show your weird side. It somehow made him cherish it more and even want to show sides of him that only you got to see.

When he asked you why you weren't like this with everyone you said " My parents had a habit of talking over me, sometimes outrightly not hearing me speak at all. No matter how loud I spoke..i wondered if they couldn't hear me...if anyone even wanted to you" "why me then?" asked dick , "you're nothing like my parents, I know you care" and he does..he really does. He won't ever let you feel like that every again. He will make sure everything you want said is heard, and if not he will burn it into the skyline

Jason todd

he appreciated it, a quiet person in public. He hated being in public, he hated the buzz the noise the push the touch of humans around him. He felt strange

till he feels you hold his knowing you felt just as strange as him. Leave the gala and walk around the library , one earphone in each ear listening to whatever you wished to play.

Pulling you close in crowded areas- was it for you or for him? Glaring at anyone who dared tease you about your quietness. A single glare usually does the job but don't worry ...other ways exist too.

He loves that when you two are alone, you are a completely different person. It makes him feel special, like he is the only one who understands you. Because you're the only one who understands him.

When he asks " well I guess I never felt like people liked what came out of my mouth.. my humour too dark, my words too dumb and I didn't make sense. So I stopped trying" don't worry about being cringe..he understands you completely

Tim drake

he is intruiged. How do you pull such a perfect facade. How does one look so poised and collected with those rich assholes and so wild and untamed with him?

He could never really perfect the act the way you did. He's seen you grow up, but somehow its like you were born with two people living in your brain.

If you're this mysterious to your childhood lover, how does anyone in the world even think that they could know you, both versions of you.

Dont get me wrong, he loved it, A mystery he never could solve, not even with your help.

" Teach me your ways master" "I remember you wanting me to call you that last night..oh no wait it was si-" "shut upp" "fine ill tell you timmy boy, I just believe those rich stick up their ass puppets don't deserve to see all ..this.." "what about school kids, friends , teemates-" "I don't need anyone to get me as long as you do"

He will never get it, even if someone engraved it into his skin he wont understand everything about you , you'll always be the case he couldn't solve.

AND WE ARE BACK BICHES , send in requests and stuff, inbox open again blah blah I'm feeling much better now but I might push angst stuff more

[chiaraanatra]

Thief pt 2

∘₊✧────✧₊∘ ! 18+ MINORS DNI ! ∘₊✧───✧₊∘

Summary: Sam has been stealing your panties for a while and you finally decide to confront him. A continuation of this 𝑏𝑙𝑢𝑟𝑏.

Warnings: SMUT! Characters are 18+, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), teasing, dry humping, scent kink (kinda?), cumming untouched (m), panty stealing, mentions of male masturbation, dom!reader & sub!sam vibes, Sam and reader are both pervs, pet names (good boy), no y/n. Let me know if i missed something.

Word Count: 2.3k

AN: I'm back! sorry for being MIA. But we are coming back strong with Sam the panty sniffer! Inspo hit me then left then came back with a vengeance! Hope you like!

《 m.list || ao3 》

"I'll be right back, why don't you find us a movie?" You watched as Sam made his way to the bathroom.

You were up in a second, digging through his drawers in hopes of finding what you were looking for. You scoured his dresser with no luck before turning to his bedside table.

A smile spread across your face when you opened the drawer and were met with the site of Sam's stash of your panties, 5 to be exact. You giggled to yourself, grabbing a pair and closing the drawer.

You quickly walked over to Sam's collection of VHSs, pretending to choose a movie for you two to watch. One movie caught your eye, Thief (1981). You wanted to burst into laughter but stopped when you heard approaching footsteps.

"What did you decide on?" Sam took a seat on the edge of the bed looking in your direction.

"How about this one?" you tossed the box over to him.

He caught it, looking at the cover then back at you, "Thief? In a James Caan mood?" He chuckled to himself.

You smiled at him, "I just think it's appropriate."

Confusion spread across his face, and he let out a breathy laugh, "What do you mean?"

"Oh, I think you know." You brought your hand in front of you revealing the panties you took from his drawer, the lacy cloth dangled between your fingers.

"Uhh- what are you- I mean why are you-"

"Sam, have you been stealing my panties?" You tried your best to hide the smirk threatening your lips.

"I- umm... I don't know what you're talking about..." He thought about his words and quickly backtracked, "I-I mean wh-why do you think they're yours? I have... girls over all the time..." Sam's eyes drifted to the ceiling, cringing at his words.

"Sam, I know for a fact these are mine, just like the others in your drawer are also mine." You nodded in the direction of the nightstand.

"Fuck... I- I uhh... Fuck..." He shook his head. You were on to him; you had seen the others and there was no use in trying to cover his tracks. He was spiraling. What would you think of him? Would you hate him? Of course you would!

You looked at the purple lace in your hand, "What do you do with them?"

Your words broke him out of his spiral, "Wha-What?" Were you seriously asking him that?

"You heard me," you toss a pair at him before walking over to stand right in front of him, your eyes staring down into worried pools of blue.

He swallowed thickly. "I-I... Look, I'm sorry! I won't do it again! We can just forget this ever happened..."

"Sam," you bent at the waist, leaning in closer to his ear, "Answer my question."

At this point, he was fighting for his life. Half the blood in his body was flushing his cheeks while the other half went straight to his cock. "Please don't make me admit to this shit..."

"I won't ask again." your voice sounded so different, much more stern, demanding, and God was it hot!

"Fuck... fine! I jerk off with them... I'll wrap them around my dick, or... shove them in my mouth." He covered his face with his hands falling back on his bed. "I'm a sick pervert and I understand if you never want to speak to me again..."

"So would you steal just any girl's panties?" Sam swore he could hear a touch of disappointment in your voice. "Wha-What?" He looked up at you in confusion. "Well, no I..." You fought the smile that threatened to grace your lips, "What makes mine so special?"

"I- umm, well I..." he refused to meet your gaze.

You took his stuttering as an opportunity and climbed onto the bed before maneuvering yourself so your legs were on either side of his hips. Your skirt began to ride up, exposing more of your thighs and you could feel his cock straining against his jeans.

His eyes shot open, "Fuck..." he had never seen anything so perfect; he had imagined you in this position a million times, but his imagination could never live up to the real things.

Your voice once again brought him out of his thoughts, "Do you like me, Sammy?"

He spoke before he had a chance to think his words though. "Of course I do! I've liked you since you moved in next door..."

Did he seriously just confess to his best friend that he liked her?

Sam wanted to cry out of embarrassment and fear. Embarrassment that he just confessed to being an absolute pervert and liking his best friend, and fear that this would cause him to lose you.

When his gaze found yours again, he was greeted with the sight of you biting your lip and smiling. He stared at you in confusion and disbelief. He figured you would be running for the hills, not straddling him and giggling. "Why are you laughing and not freaking out? Also, why are you on my lap? It's really not helping this situation..."

You leaned forward, maintaining your gaze as you rested your head on his chest, "Sammy, I've known for a while that you've been taking them."

"Yo-you've known?!" He tried not to focus on your body being pressed up against his, or the softness of your breast, or the smell of your perfume, of how he wanted nothing more than to kiss you…

"Mhm. At first, I thought I was crazy, so I started leaving them out on purpose. A little experiment. A pair on the floor of my bathroom, another meticulously placed just outside the hamper. Lo and behold, each time you came over they were gone."

"If you knew then why didn't you say anything?!" It had been well over a month since he started this perverted escapade, and not only did you know but you were practically encouraging it.

"I was waiting for the right time," you paused trying to hide a smile, "and I also needed proof."

His gaze met yours, his mouth felt dry, “And now that you have your proof..?”

A smirk came to your lips. You leaned down, your chest pressing into him even more while your lips brushed against the shell of his ear. “I find you guilty of theft Sam Monroe.” You felt Sam waver under you, on edge as he anticipated your next words. “And I think you deserve punishment. And I think I deserve retribution.”

“P-punishment…?” Sam didn't know how to feel. Turned on? Yes, beyond turned on. He had never seen you like this so in control and demanding.

Rather than respond to his question you chose to lick the shell of his ear before moving to his neck, biting and sucking at the sensitive skin.

Sam didn't recognize the needy sounds that were coming from him. Whimpers escaped his lips as you continued your torturous pursuits.

His hands appeared to tease their way under your skirt. However, the moment he was able to feel your soft flesh under his fingertips, your assault on his neck stopped.

"When did I say you were allowed to touch me, Sammy?"

"Fuck, you can't be serious...?"

You lifted your body slightly so your eyes could meet his. "Dead serious." You leaned in, lips so close to his own but not quite touching. "Punishment and retribution." Your breath ghosted over his skin. "If you don't want it, I'll stop. But if you do, and I have a feeling you do, you'll have to beg for it."

A small part of you was anxious, worried that Sam would take the out you had given him. But those fears were quelled by desperate words.

"God, please let me touch you... I'll do anything! I'll be good, I promise... I jus- I just want to make you feel good... Please!"

You had wanted to hold out longer, really make him beg for it. But the need in his voice propelled you forward, connecting your lips to his. His were softer than you expected and he tasted like cigarettes and mint gum.

Sam wasted no time placing his warm hands back under your skirt, reviling at your softness and grabbing at the exposed skin of your thighs, causing your skirt to hike up even more.

You couldn't help but grind your hips against his. He let out a soft groan and your tongue took that as an invitation, dipping into his mouth. The muscles swirled together, feeding off the need you felt for one another.

You could feel Sam's hand tug at your shirt slightly. When you pulled back from him, a sting of saliva connected your lips. You took the opportunity to remove the unnecessary clothing item, revealing the purple lacy bra underneath.

Sam couldn't help but look up at you in awe. You looked like a goddess atop her thrown and he begged whatever deity that might exist that he could forever be that thrown. "God, your so fucking hot..."

You smiled biting your lip at the comment, “What do you want, Sammy.”

His hips bucked slightly upwards as his fingers played with the hem of your skirt, skimming the soft skin of your thighs. His eyes met yours, hoping this would suffice as an answer to your question.

“Use your words, baby.”

“Fuck..." he bit out, "You, I want you…”

You didn't respond. Instead deciding to look down on him and wait for a proper response.

He looked away out of embarrassment. "C-can I taste you?"

"Good boy." You removed yourself from his lap, removing your skirt to reveal matching lace panties.

Before you could make your way back to the bed, Sam was on his knees in front of you, looking up with dark, pleading eyes.

"Look at you... so desperate to please me?"

All Sam could do was nod his head before looking at your clothed core. "Yes, please..."

"Go ahead, baby. Make me feel good."

Without hesitation, Sam pushes himself between your legs, inhaling your sweet scent before kissing the lacy fabric that leaves little to the imagination.

He kissed the fabric a few more times before pulling it slowly down your legs. A low 'fuck' leaves his lips before he is attacking your core. Kissing, licking, and sucking on the sensitive bundle of nerves.

Your fingers rake through his dark hair, pulling him in closer and grinding yourself against his face.

During his assault, Sam's hand found its way to your already-soaked hole. The tip of his index finger traces your entrance. He wasn't doing it to tease you, but rather waiting for you to tell him he could.

"Mmmm-fuck, Sam...!" Your grip on his hair tightened and he took this as permission.

His long digits took no time at all, curling inside you and finding the soft spot inside you that made your legs shake and your body feel like is crumbling beneath you. "Yes! Right there," you gasp.

Sam was in a trance. Your taste, your scent, the noises you were making, all had him on edge and he had yet to touch himself.

You could feel his hips buck against one of your legs as he reviled in the taste of you on his tongue and a bit of friction on his cock.

He could tell you were close. Your silken walls contract around his finger and he supports more and more of your weight as your legs start to give out. The pace of his hips increased as he tried to chase his high with you.

Your moans went silent as your body curled into him, the band in your stomach seconds away from snapping. "Oh God!"

Sam looked up just in time to watch you cum and he was met with a heavenly image that would play over and over in his head for the rest of his life. He felt a flood of your juices coat his face just as he came undone in his boxers.

You fell forward, trying and failing to support yourself.

Sams's fingers made their exit before his hands firmly held your hips and led you to sit on the bed.

You expected him to undo his own pants, wanting you to return the favor. When he didn’t you could only look at him with curiosity and a little confusion, "Do you want me to help you out...?"

"Umm... actually I'm already taken care of..." He stood, looking at the floor, far too embarrassed to witness your reaction.

You couldn't help the tired giggle that escaped your lips, "Like me that much, huh?"

"More than you know..." He mumbled as he shifted uncomfortably in his now damp boxers.

Your head fell back against his pillows, "Well then, I guess you'll have to explain it to me."

You watched as a not so subtle nervousness took over his features, "In due time, of course."

You reached over to his nightstand, grabbing a clean pair of stolen panties to replace the damp ones currently residing on Sam’s bedroom floor. "Why don't you clean yourself up and we can get back to our movie night?"

Sam bit his lip and stared at his white ceiling. "Yeah okay..." Was all he said before bolting out of his room.

While in the bathroom his mind was spiraling, hoping that this wasn't a dream or even worse a mistake. Sam liked you a lot. Hell, he loved you but he was not ready to admit it to himself. But when he found you with open arms, clad only in his t-shirt, and still on his bed, his anxiety seemed to melt away.

He crawls on top of you, head resting between your breasts. You couldn't help but kiss the top of his head and whisper into his hair, "I like you too, Sammy."

As always, feedback, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

Taglist: @bimbo-baggins86 @daisydark @lillyxlillian @ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist

𝑊𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑏𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑑? 𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 💜

[bussyslayer333]

Love me, Love me

summary: bob floyd and the trials and tribulations of loving you.

or, my contribution to @roosterforme ‘s #loveisintheairtgm fic playlist!!!

pairing: bob floyd x bartender!reader

word count: 3.0k

warnings: swearing, some suggestiveness, mentions of alcohol maybe??, idiots in love smh

Bob was staring at himself in the mirror feeling a lot like how he did before his first middle school dance. Touching up his hair so he could impress Missy Clark. Except now he wasn’t trying to impress Missy, he was trying to impress you.

It was simultaneously a hundred times better and a hundred times worse.

Better, because you didn’t have braces that would catch on his lip if you kissed. Worse because you were probably the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen and somehow he managed to make a fool out of himself every time he saw you.

He was picking up Jake and Bradley tonight before heading to the Hard Deck. It was probably one of his short comings as a man who doesn’t drink; he was destined to be the designated driver.

When Jake slid into the passenger seat he looked to Bob, looked away for a moment, then stared straight back at him.

“What?”

“Is that a new shirt?” Jake questions, mildly intense.

“Errr, yes?”

“Why do you look so nice?” Jake pesters, reaching a hand out to poke at Bob’s neatly styled hair.

Bob shrugs his hand away with a huff, “Um it’s a new year’s resolution, y’know look good feel good thing.”

Jake raises an eyebrow, unconvinced, before leaning in to sniff at Bob.

“You’re wearing new cologne.” Jake states, “why?”

Bob is starting to get slightly antsy, worried for the inevitable teasing that would occur once Jake found out about his infatuation crush on you.

“Well, Jake, the thing is…”

Jake leans in.

“I’m in love with you! I’ve been trying to impress you for months! …yeah.” Bob finishes lamely.

Jake laughs. Loud.

For a moment, Bob is offended that the idea of him being in love with someone is so amusing. Then he remembers the fact that for some reason he has just professed a fake love to the most obnoxious man on planet earth.

“Bobby, man you crack me up.” Jake chortles, wiping at the few tears that had slipped from his lash line.

Bob sighs as he comes to a slow in front of Bradley’s house, too caught up in his thoughts to stop Jake from hitting the horn to alert Bradley of their presence.

Bradley emerges from his house, hawaiian shirt on and an effortlessly handsome smile plastered across his face. Bob realises that if he was going to fake confess again Bradley would be a much more believable candidate.

“Hey boys,” Bradley smiles, sliding into the seat behind Bob.

He pats Bob on the shoulder far too hard without realising, and smacks Jake on the back with the same strength. Jake doesn’t shudder down on impact like Bob.

Jake allows Bob a second to breathe before he starts his pestering again, albeit more slyly.

“Rooster.” He starts

“Bagman.”

“Very funny.”

“I try my best.” Bradley chuckles.

Jake rolls his eyes and continues, “any guesses for why our dear Bobby is so dressed up for our Friday night drinks?”

Bob goes to protest, but Jake shushes him promptly.

“and don’t confess your undying love for Rooster because I will know you’re lying.”

Bradley cocks his head in confusion, before getting to his point.

“The bartender, obviously.” Bradley laughs.

Jake raises his eyebrows and makes a loud “ooooooohoooo” noise at Bob.

“You’re nailing her Bob? Nice.” Jake slaps Bob on his still recovering shoulder.

“No! I’m not!” Bob speaks a little defensively.

Bob had grown to like Jake over their time spent working together. However, his crudeness towards subjects such as this still made him cringe.

“But you would like to…?” Bradley supplies unhelpfully.

“I mean, yes, but also I want to take her out. On a date. With me.” Bob sighs.

If he thought too hard about what it would be like to have you in his bed, he would probably be sporting a hard on in the car with two of his best friends. It wouldn’t be the ideal way to start his Friday night.

“You should ask her out,” Jake smiles nonchalantly.

“Yeah! Tonight,” Bradley adds on.

Bob can’t help but laugh dryly at his friends optimism, because of course they would think it’s that easy.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he sighs out, pulling onto the road that leads to the Hard Deck.

“Sure it is!” Bradley delivers another encouraging painful slap to Bob’s shoulder.

Bob sighs dejectedly, clearly Bradley did not understand what he was trying to get at. He lets Bradley and Jake get out of the car before giving himself a mini pep talk in his rear view mirror.

“You’ve got this, Bobby,” he affirms.

BANG BANG.

Bob jumps out of his skin.

Jake’s face is smushed against the window, “you coming?”

“I can see up your nostrils.”

“Lucky you,” Jake snorts, finally pulling back so Bob can get out.

You’re the first thing Bob sees when he enters the bar; giggling at something a patron said as you pour a pint of whatever IPA Penny has on draft at the moment. Your hair is pulled back loosely and the light summer dress you’re wearing has Bob wondering if he needs to wipe at the drool forming at the corners of his lips.

He beelines for you, ignoring the shouts of greeting coming from his group of aviators already congregating around the pool table, and when you look up and meet his eyes, Bob could swear your smile widened.

“Hey Bob! Don’t you look smart!” You smile, radiant as ever.

Bob tries to ignore the heat that floods his cheeks and bites his lip to refrain from smiling too hard.

“Darlin’, thank you, but you… you look stunning,” he charms, probably overeager but you seem to have that affect on him.

Your nose scrunches in the way that it always does when you’re bashful of a compliment, it’s adorable but the idea makes Bob frown sometimes, makes him wonder if you know how beautiful you really are.

“I, I mean- this old thing?” You shrug down at your dress.

Bob can tell you’re being modest. You don’t need to be.

“Can I get you a drink?” You offer, steering the conversation from yourself.

It’s now or never that Bob realises he needs to make his move. He pinches his thigh through his trousers and finally pipes up.

“I, um, actually had a question that I wanted to ask? If that’s okay?”

“Yeah, shoot!” You nod.

“I wanted to ask this really incredible girl out, and I was just wondering, well, what you think she’d say?”

“I think she’d be a fool to say no,” you say with conviction.

Bob’s confidence seems to skyrocket after your confirmation. He nods and tries to conceal the smile threatening to split his cheeks in half.

“Good to know.”

As he walks off, Bob lightly pumps his fist in victory. You can’t help but giggle at the sight, hoping that whoever he was asking out would say yes. It would, however, be a lie to say you weren’t disappointed he wasn’t asking you.

Bob spends the rest of the weekend thinking about where he should take you out. He doesn’t want to come off too eager, so figured he should wait until Monday to see you again. He’s not sure when your next shift is, but figures if he swings by the Hard Deck after work he could probably catch you and ask whether your prefer Italian or Mexican.

When he gets to the Hard Deck at just gone 6 the bar is relatively empty, not much of a Monday evening crowd apparently. Bob ummed and ahhhed over the idea of bringing you flowers. In the end he settled on some pale pink roses, hoping they’d please you.

Penny is manning the desolate bar when he finally makes his way to the bar top. She smiles at him, albeit slightly confused at his lack of company and addition of flora in tow.

He says your name tentatively, “is she here?”

Penny frowns, “She just left about half an hour ago, said she had a date?”

Bob’s stomach drops. “Oh.”

“Was there a message you wanted me to pass on?” Penny smiles apologetically.

“No, um, don’t worry about it. Thanks Pen,” Bob nods curtly, spinning on his heel.

The flowers feel out of place in his clammy palm now, a dead weight dragging his right arm down. He still places then gently down on the passenger seat when he enters his car.

Bob leans his head on the steering wheel, not caring about the way the metal frames of his glasses are pushing painfully into the flushed skin of his cheeks.

“Fuck.” He whispers.

Bob drives back to his apartment with a furrow etched onto his brow, wondering if he hadn’t been clear enough that he was interested in you. His first thought is to ring Phoenix, you and her were close and regularly went out together. She picks up after the first ring.

“I’ve fucked up.” Bob sighs.

“Well hello to you too,” Nat snorts, Bob can hear the crinkle and crunch of what sounds like a bag of chips.

“Care to elaborate?” She questions.

He speaks your name as a whisper, “is she on a date right now?”

“Ohhhhhh,” Nat exclaims in understanding, “you’re an idiot.”

“I know!” Bob groans, at the reminder.

“She really likes you! But now she thinks you’ve got some secret crush!”

Bob is elated at the idea of you returning his feelings. Not so much at the idea of his failed attempt at asking you on a date being so stupid that it put you off.

“Ughhh, this is really embarrassing Nat.” Bob grumbles.

He can hear Nat snickering on the other end of the phone.

“Just tell her you like her, Dumbo.” She crunches down on another chip.

“Thank you that is really helpful actually.” Bob spits sarcastically.

Bob can hear Nat shuffle around before she starts up again, “look, for some reason she’s enamoured by everything you do. Like she’ll text me about how cute you looked in your glasses or how she liked your patterned shirt.”

She snorts, “it’s kind of disgusting but also heartwarming, I don’t know, what I’m trying to say is you just need to be yourself. That’s why she likes you.”

Bob is silent for a beat, “…she liked my shirt?”

“I’m hanging up now-”

“Thank you, Nat!” Bob quickly shouts down the line before she ends the call with a chortle.

Praying on the downfall of someone’s date is somewhat cruel. But Bob couldn’t really find it in him to care. Not when you look so sweet in one of your sundresses, stood at the bar wiping down the continually sticky counter tops.

It’s busy for an early Thursday evening, and Bob has once again bypassed his friends to beeline for you. Refreshed flowers in his hand, Bob was going to tell you how he felt. No beating around it this time.

“Oh! Hey Bob,” you drawl, slight flush to your cheeks at the sight of him.

“Hey beautiful, these,” he hands over the delicate bouquet, “are for you.”

You take them from him, inspecting the pinks and whites of the variety of flowers wrapped up in tissue paper.

“Wow, thank you! I- well no one has ever bought me flowers before!” You gush, fiddling with the ribbon at the bottom of the bouquet.

“They’re kind of an apology actually,” Bob smiles.

“Oh?” You prompt.

“Last Friday, I asked you that question?”

You nod in remembrance.

“Well, I was trying to ask you out. On a date that is, but clearly I went about it the wrong way, and if you’re not interested that’s okay! Of course, I just wanted you to know-”

Bob’s rambling is interrupted by the touch of your lips to his. His eyes widen in surprise before he leans in fully to your touch, hand coming to caress at your cheek. You pull back all too soon for Bob, who tries to chase after your lips.

“I want to.” You whisper against his lips.

“Huh?” Bob mumbles, slightly dazed from your kiss.

You giggle and pull back to look into his eyes fully, “Go on a date with you Bobby. I would love to.”

Bob grins, “Really?”

“Totally.”

Bob arrives outside your apartment at exactly the time he said he would. He’s dressed in a stripe button down and cream shorts. He looks handsome, annoyingly so and greets you with a kiss on the cheek. Ever the gentleman.

“We’ve already kissed,” you tease, smashing your lips against his in a greeting.

Bob reciprocates almost immediately, making a noise of approval as your tongue flicks against his. He pulls back breathless,

“I was trying to be a gentleman.”

“It’s okay,” you take his hand and thread your fingers through his.

You swing your hands gently whilst you listen to him talk, “I was thinking we could walk down to the beach?”

“Sounds perfect.”

The breeze is light, heat from the late afternoon still clinging to the air as you walk along worn concrete. Bob’s hand stays intertwined with yours and he nods along to all of your ramblings, somehow still interested even after your seemingly endless anecdotes.

“I’m probably boring you,” you smile apologetically.

Bob shakes his head with a laugh, “darlin’ I could listen to you talk about my taxes and be absolutely enthralled.”

You try to fight off your furious blush by smushing your face into his surprisingly muscular arm. Bob rolls his eyes and takes your face in his hands.

“I mean it.”

Bob initiates the kiss this time, slowly guiding your face towards his. It’s only quick, as your still surrounded by couples walking, but it leaves you reeling anyways.

The sun is setting by the time you make it to the beach, and you have a sneaky feeling Bob has timed your date to match it. You don’t ask, the idea alone is almost too much.

He lets you chatter on as you walk further and further down the beach, only stopping to ask questions to further your stories.

“I wanted to ask you something,”

“Sure,” you hum.

“Did you go on a date with another guy this week?” Bob hopes he doesn’t sound too accusatory (or jealous).

You nod shyly, “yeah, he kind of sucked though.”

“How come you went?” Bob inquires.

“I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t jealous of you going on a date with someone else.”

Bob chuckles, “even though you were the one I was asking out?”

You snort, “We’re stupid.”

“The stupidest.”

You both giggle for a moment at the absurdity of the situation before allowing the laughter to lull and finally take in the scenery. You hadn’t passed people for the past 10 minutes of your walk, reaching a more secluded area of the beach.

“Do you want to go in the water?” You ask slyly.

“I mean, I’m not very well prepared,” Bob gestures down to his outfit.

“Me either,” you shrug with a smirk, before lifting the hem of your dress and pulling it over your head.

You let it fall to the ground and bend down to take off your shoes, leaving them next to your dress. You snap back up with a smirk and let Bob take in the sight of you in your lacy underwear. He gulps visibly.

You wander towards the waves slowly, letting Bob take in the way your hips sway tantalisingly.

“You coming?” You call over your shoulder.

“Fuck.” Bob whispers to himself, “yeah, give me a minute!”

Bob shucks himself of his clothing in record time so he can join you in the water, which is rippling gently against your waist. It’s cool, but not overtly unpleasant. If anything it’s soothing his nerves.

You turn to face Bob when you can sense him behind you,

“wow,” you breathe out, drinking in his toned abdomen that had been exposed to you.

“I feel like I should be saying that,” Bob smiles down at you, allowing his hands to rest at your waist.

You roll your eyes and flick water at him playfully. Bob’s eyes darken teasingly and he splashes you back with a little more force.

“Bob!” You squeal as the cool water hits your chest.

You have no choice but to retaliate with an even larger splash of water. As soon as it hits Bob you take off, disturbing the peaceful ripples as you try to swim away from the now drenched Bob. He catches up to you with ease and lifts you into the air, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist.

Your arms come to hang around his neck and you rest your forehead against his, both breathing harshly against one another’s mouths. Your lips connect sloppily as Bob’s hands grip tight at your behind to keep you close to him. The light blue lace of your thong is now dark blue from the water, the fabric of the bra much the same. It clings to you almost sinfully, and when Bob pulls back to look at you he lets out a deep, guttural groan.

“Look at you, darlin’.”

You flush at his words, accent heavy now it’s tainted with lust. You flick water at him playfully once again, trying to distract from how overwhelmed he makes you feel.

Bob chuckles and readjusts you in his grip, one arm under you to support you and the other pushing back at the wet strands of hair framing your face.

“Is it crazy if I say I think I love you?” Bob whispers.

“Is it crazy if I say the same thing?” You reply.

a/n: HERE IT IS 🎺🎺🎺🎺 sorry for the wait everyone!!! please behold valentines bob, isn’t he the cutest idiot 😭😭

expect a lil jakey one shot next guys, then mayhaps ch4 of drive me wild hehehe

as always pls reblog, comment, or send me an ask and tell me what you think!!!

thank you for reading :)))

- honey <333

[bebe-writes-stuff]

Hey lovely!! I love your work and I was wondering if you can do a baji x reader smut with like a friends to lovers where he gets jealous when one of his friends make a move on you as a joke but he can’t take it seeing y/n all happy’ with a. Anna that’s not him and can u please include where someone walks in on them at the end and he says something about how they became a couple like someone walks in and he he’s like “ can you ye out I’m trying to help my girlfriend clean up!” I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHH I have read so much of ur stuff BbBbdbdbbdbd

Ima be honest, I wrote this when I was high so like, idek if this makes sense

Jealous! Baji x Reader (Smut)

Annoyed by your lack of attention, he huffed and puffed, and you still didn't say anything,

"What are you even reading that you are so invested in?" He muttered glancing at your book before pouting and setting his eyes aside.

"Huh, you don't know?" You turned to him and showed him your book cover.

Romeo and Juliet

"Ew, what the hell. Who the hell even reads that in their free time." He cringed at your sappy choice of book taste.

"Shut up will you, it's for the Drama Club. It's the annual play, other schools come and parents also come. I auditioned for fun, but I got the main role, Juliet." You explained, before someone abruptly opened the empty classroom door, it was lunch time.

"Woah, Y/n, did you actually join the annual play?!" It was Chifuyu, he was breathing and seemed...flustered.

"Oh, yeah. how'd you know?" You asked, tilting your head a little worried.

"The flyers are literally being passed out everywhere, look!" He unrolled the flyer and then slammed it on one of the desks.

You took a peek before,

"Woah.."

"Huh?-"

It was you and Ryusei Satou on the cover. You had a dagger in your hand aimed high at yourself as you knelt on your dead lover's body, Ryusei was lying on the floor with poison that fell in drops from his mouth, the tragic fate of Romeo and Juliet. On the cover, you looked just so beautiful, you looked alluring. Your eyes were magnetic, drawing people in with a combination of elegance and genuine warmth. Baji understood why you would be Juliet, no one fit better, you were beautiful both in and out, gentle, graceful, oh he could go on and on about you. He never liked to admit it, he loved you too much. But why was that asshole Ryusei, Romeo, he thought angrily.

The next couple of weeks, Baji has barely seen you. So imagine how he felt when he heard that the entire time you were with Ryusei practicing for the upcoming play. Almost as if you cheated on him, not like you were dating anyway. He didn't mean to stop, he really didn't. But when he heard your voice from outside the theater room, he stopped to listen. Even your voice made him flushed and nervous. However, he froze when he peeked in and saw how Ryusei had you in his arms as he performed dramatically. You were smiling and laughing even. You looked so happy with another guy, it broke his heart. He felt like punching him, or anyone at this point. It was now after school, Chifuyu stopped by Baji's apartment to study for upcoming exams and projects. Then he asked when he noticed how Baji seemed more angry than usual.

"Are you upset that Y/n and Ryusei are gonna kiss?" he shouldn't have said that.

"WHAT, THEY KISS?!" He shouted

"Ohh, I shouldn't have said that..."

"She can't- No- UGHH CAN SHE QUIT THAT STUPID PLAY ALREADY?" Baji groaned, throwing his books to the side before slamming his head on his desk.

"This is so stupid." He pulled onto his hair. He stopped and turned to Chifuyu, who muttered something.

"You got something to say?"

"Baji, she was gonna ask you to do the auditions with her but you turned her down for the gang, Also the play is in a couple days so I think it's too late to pull out now." He repeated himself, a little anxious.

Wait, he thought, was it that one time? Shit, he does remember when he turned down your request, you looked so sad and he promised to make it up to you, which he forgot to do. Fuck.

Now, it was Chifuyu's turn to be worried because of Baji's sudden absences. He couldn't be that affecting because of a silly play, right? C'mon that's Toman's First Division Captain, he can't be acting all childish and clingy when it comes to you, right? Wrong, he was in his room walking back and forth, whining about it.

Baji stayed home the day of the play, until he got a text from Chifuyu.

-- Holy shit, there's so many people at the school dude!"

He groaned and put his phone down, obviously people came. You were too unreal, too siren-like. He heard a knock on his door, it was his mom.

"Chifuyu told me what's been going on. I'm not here to talk to you because in truth, I think you deserve it. You had a chance and you wasted it and made her wait. And you know worst of all, YOU DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT UP TO HER, and here you are being all childish and sad about the consequences to your own actions. If I were you, I would take my ass there and make it up to her." She scolded him, maybe it sounded harsh, but it was out of love, she was sad that he was putting himself through this.

"yeah, LIKE I KNOW HOW. AT THIS POINT, just let them be." He sighed defeated,

"Don't give me that bull. You know how Kei, I know what you've been doing." She said in a smug motherly tone.

He felt his face grow hot quickly as he glanced at the copy of the play he had read.

Stupid, he thought

He heard his mother's footsteps fade as she walked away once their conversation died out. She was right, Baji knew what to do, and he was gonna make it up to you, tonight!

Backstage, you were nervous, shaking even. You were wearing a silky and fancy long nightgown. It was a scene where you are on the balcony of your room confessing your love to the hidden Romeo as he listens to your heart-filled speech. The play was nearing its end, which meant it was closing to where you had to kiss Romeo or more specifically, Ryusei. Which you found extremely awkward. You noticed Chifuyu in the crowd earlier in the play, he was waving and cheering. However, it saddened you how Baji didn't come, he probably had another important gang meeting, you thought. It was the final scene now. You were getting ready to step on stage before you heard some ruckus in the background, before you had time to figure out. The play started and you stepped onto the stage. You talked clearly and passionately, You called out to your lover, this is when Ryusei was to step out and capture you in a breathtaking kiss after some sensual words. You waited, but no one came out. You called out again, nervously.

Suddenly, from the opposing curtain, he walked out. The stage lighting made the moment feel unreal, wait am I imagining this? Why was the one that stepped out of the curtain, it was Baji, it was really Baji. You gasped before you continued with your act. it was subtle but you glanced at Chifuyu who seemed also equally confused. Finally, the play was gonna end, the last scene was a recreation of the Flyer. Romeo and Juliets end. You stabbed yourself with Romeo's dagger as you fell onto Romeo's poisoned body. The crowd roared with 'woos" and cheers as they applauded loudly. You felt hands grip your waist, Baji whispered,

"Y/n, meet me in the costume closet after this. It's important."

What the hell was going on? you thought, first, Baji is distancing himself from you, then he shows up randomly in the play you in AND KISSES YOU. and NOW, he wants to talk to you alone after the play. But if you wanted to find out, you'd have to confront him. It was later after the show now, you were in front of the costume closet, no one was back there. You took a deep breath before entering, Baji was waiting, leaning against the wall.

"Hey Baji, what's up?"

"Keisuke, My name's Keisuke."

"Ookay...Keisuke."

He hated how awkward you seemed around him, he wanted you to laugh and smile like how you were with Ryusei. He sighed as he stood up and approached you, suddenly you were pushed against one of the walls.

"Y/n, do you hate me?" He whispered, coming in closer, leaving little space between your lips.

No, quite the opposite actually, you thought, but you couldn't say that. You just looked to the side avoiding his gaze. He gritted his teeth harshly

"Look at me damnit!" He growled as he forced you to look at him directly.

"Tch, you like this don't you?" He smirked as he toyed with you. He grabbed your face, roughly and chuckled. You glanced at his lips as you both closed in on each other, your eyes locked in an electric gaze, anticipation hung in the air like a delicate melody. The world seemed to pause as your lips met, creating an intimate universe where only the soft whispers of your breaths and the tender exchange of kisses existed. His hands delicately cradled your face, and your fingers entwined in the strands of his hair. The kiss unfolded like a choreography of emotions, starting with a tender exploration and building into a passionate crescendo. Time seemed to slow down, allowing you to savor every fleeting moment of this shared intimacy. Your breath hitched as you felt Baji placing soft kisses and even nibbling on your sensitive neck. The warmth of his lips, coupled with the gentle pressure and softness of the kisses, created the obvious tension and the sense of both of your intimacy and arousal.

"Y/n, I'm gonna fuck you now." He already had his hand in your costume.

"Fuck, your this wet because of me, you're not scared of being caught, You little slut." You whimpered as you rode his fingers,

"K-keisuke, wait- I-" You tried to formulate a sentence but your moans cut you off.

"Uh, Y/n! Baji! Are you guys here?" You gasped as you put both your hands on your mouth, controlling your moans.

"Huh?! What you want, Chifuyu! Can't you see I'm helping my girlfriend change out of her costume, go now!"

Embarrassed, Chifuyu runs out, He sighed,

"You were right... Ryusei."

"Told ya." He smirked as he knew, the only way to get Baji to make a move on you was to make him a little jealous. 

[luveline]

This is very random but could we get something with Joel miller? Maybe reader has hurt her arm or something so he is helping her get dressed and comforting her because she’s really frustrated with herself for getting injured?

ty for your request ♡ fem!reader

"You okay?" Joel asks. 

You spin on your ass to the tent entrance to find him crouched down, watching you struggle with your shirt. You cringe away from his gaze, knowing you're a sight. Contusions stretch like stains up your ribs, under your armpit, and across your shoulder. The pain is nothing compared to the original injury —you dislocated your shoulder, Joel popped it back into the socket. 

The bruise is healing badly. 

"I must'a done something wrong," Joel says, eyeing the bruise. You're glad that he's ignoring your dirty bra, once white, now a mottling of yellow, grey, and blood rusted red. 

"Just bruises," you mutter, trying again to lift your arm. 

"Don't. I'll help." 

"I can do it," you insist, attempting another go quickly as he sets down on his knees in front of you. 

"Stop." His explanation goes unsaid. You're hurting yourself. "You could try listening to me. Every once in a while." 

"I was kind of busy keeping your stupid charge from pinwheeling off of a balcony, in case you forgot." 

"I meant when I told you to stop," Joel says, pulling your arms down gently to your lap. He pulls the back of your shirt over your craned head and quickly pushes your head through the neck.

You wince as he helps your arms through the sleeves. 

"I'm fucking stupid," you mutter. 

You've been thinking about it for a while. You're weak for getting hurt, weaker for saying aloud how you feel. You don't want Joel to think of you like that, and you wish you could take it back as soon as you've said it. His face is impassive as always, the slightest pinch to his brows as he finishes straightening the bottom of your shirt over your stomach. 

"For what?" he asks quietly. 

"Getting hurt." 

"You were getting hurt for a reason. Ellie," —he rests his hands on your hips— "she'd be dead if you didn't catch her. You popped your arm out so she didn't snap her neck. Doesn't make you stupid."

His touch makes you pause, terrified to lose it. It's not often he holds you. Maybe because he doesn't need to be touching someone as much as you want him to be, maybe because Ellie shadows him, a pale silhouette at his back. Your admission hasn't disgusted him as you'd worried. He's offering you reassurance in his way. Quiet, steady. 

"I never should've let her go by herself." 

"I shouldn't have let you," he argues. There's bite there suddenly. "Don't blame yourself for something that's my fault. Mine." 

You slouch, braceleting one of his wrists with the hand that doesn't burn to move. Every ligament in your opposite arm screams to be iced. All you want is half an oxy and a bed to lay in. 

"I should've been faster. Should've seen she was messing around." 

Joel's hands travers unexpectedly to the small of your back. He meets your eyes head on, the heat of his touch trailing up to your agonised shoulder. He smooths his hand over it carefully. It hurts, but you say nothing. 

"It's not your fault," he says. One moment you want it and the next he's holding your cheek in his hand. His skin smells of pine needles, wood and dirt. A fingertip traces under your eye likes he's following a dotted line, before he hooks his fingers behind your ear. "You wanna be mad at someone, you be mad at me." 

"Are you guys being gross in there?" Ellie asks from outside the tent. 

Joel kisses the top of your head and moves away.

"Hello?" Ellie asks, pulling aside the tent door. 

"Privacy," Joel says. 

"She's just sitting here." Ellie says, plopping down on her knees in the entryway. It's a small tent, bursting to capacity with her arrival. 

"She was getting changed." 

"I could've helped," Ellie says. She widens her eyes, eyebrows climbing her forehead with little in the way of subtlety. 

"I got it," Joel says firmly. 

Ellie's smile is smarmy. "I bet you do." 

[sadbastard-bug]

Your protector (yandere simon x reader)

Simon first meets you waiting for the train, he's on his way home from a walk and notices you a couple benches away. it's creepy to stare but he can't help it. Your the first person he's ever seen at the station this late, a while into the wait you start shifting around almost nervous. He tries to look away the second you turn your head but it's no use. You make eye contact. A panicked feeling rises in him once you start walking towards him. You smile looking a bit unsure. He just looks back.

"Not to be a bother but do you know how long till the train gets here?" Your voice is apologetic like your actually worried about annoying him. It clicks in his head why he's never seen you, you must be a newer resident. he's able to make about more of you now that the distance is shorter. Your wearing a uniform, he tries to recall the place it's for but the name never comes to him.

You appear tired and your hairs out of place like you were rushing around all day.

Your actually kind of cute?

You tilt your head, even more nervous. Oh shit! He's been silent this whole time just staring hasn't he. He forces something out, cringing at his own voice as it cracks. "It uh..it shouldn't take much longer.." you smile and let out a relieved breath. "Good! Good" you adjust your bag strap and turn to face the tracks. You don't move though, you stay there standing next to him. He feels himself sweating. Is that all? Should he make small talk? Do you even want to talk to him anymore? He tries to convince himself your visible skittishness is from being new and not him but he still feels a bit like a creep.

You stand by the wall together for a good time. He glances over multiple times milling over things to say. This is the first time in a long time he's been near someone who doesn't seem hostile. He wants to reach out and talk to you but no matter what he tries his voice just won't come out. Then the train shows up.

The noise pulls him forward as you both enter the car. He turns to you to say something, anything but your not there. No, instead you've already moved to the back and taken a seat. Realistically he knows he can still try and socialize but something in his gut tells him he's missed his chance, he gives up. Sitting in his normal seat, he puts on music, and leans his head against the window desperately trying to forget he's not alone in the train.

This isn't the last time you ride though. He sees you several times but he stops short of striking up conversation. The most that happens each time is you smile or wave at him before going back to your waiting. He never stops watching you. Time after time he stares. You arrive and take a seat at the same bench. Sometimes you have a book, sometimes it's your phone, and sometimes you simply sit there, hands in your lap. He never approaches you but that doesn't stop his mind from racing. He thinks about you a lot, mainly questions he wishes he could ask.

Do you live in the same town as him? Why do you get here so late? Do you work night shift? Do you go to school? Do you go to his school? Does he live near you? Do you have any friends? Are you seeing someone?

Slowly he learns more about you from a distance, simple stuff at first. He figures out where your uniforms from. He goes there not to talk but just observe. You do work late, you close actually. You always close with the same guy, you two seem freindly. Too freindly simon thinks. You both chat while locking the doors and then split up, Simon moves after you.

As days pass simon gets braver..he waits outside your work and fallows you to the station each night. Then suddenly he's following you out the station. You live pretty far from him but he doesn't mind the walk. Your home is cute and always has its lights on when you arrive. Simon never sees anyone else but he knows you can't live alone. Parent's? Siblings? Roommates? He tries to find out but the lights never stay on long enough after you get home for him to catch anyone else.

The pits of you he learns join together in his mind. Your around his age. You do attend the same college but you have zero similar classes. Simon considers switching a class or two to match. After school you head to work, you wear the uniform to class but cover the shirt with a hoodie or sweater. He stands outside never able to muster enough courage to go in. He learns the coworker is just a freind and has a girl, who you seem to be friends with too. You go home real late and go to be sleep almost right after. It's almost like he's walking you home he thinks one night. Sure your completely unaware of his presence but you probably wouldn't mind even if you did know, your freindly like that. A sweet and blissfully aware person he has his eye on. He's protecting you really! What if something happened to you in these moments where you think your alone? Normally no one's around but now you've got him! Your ever present protecter!

Maybe one day he'll be able to step from the shadows. To speak with you, hear your voice, your laughter. Hell, maybe you'll smile at him. Yeah one day he'll be close with you. You'll be his. His little darling. You won't mind his awkwardness, or how harsh he can be. You'll understand him, he just knows it! But until then he's here to protect you from a distance

____________________________________________

Okay! Uh jeez I apologize if this was short and uh kind rough but I've just gotten back into writing so bare with me. •_•

(criticism and feedback is hella appreciated though)

Also! Allow me to be honest here, I don't write yanderes. I just don't really uh jive with them ya know? But! I did forget to mention that in my request post so here for the one who wanted it! My first and last yandere x reader post! Please don't expect any more yandere stuff from me Haha! :)

I'll edit the first post.

[smallestapplin]

LOVESICK SAMM FANFIC RAHHHH

Love sick Sam is so cute

No warnings, just fluff.

-

-

Sam was enamoured, that much his friends could tell, watching him stare at you with the most dopey expression they have ever seen. He can't his eyes off you from across the saloon, he's not strong enough to do so, you are just so stunning.

Even with the dirt on your pant, your joyous but tired smile just captivates him. Sebastian looks to Abigail, who looks at him, and they both look back to Sam, who has completely forgotten about the game of pool, or beating Sebastain at it for once.

"Dude, why don't you just go talk to them?" Sebastain questions, his face scrunched in confusion as to why his friend just stares.

"Yeah man, you're staring like a total weirdo." Abigail laughs, but is quickly stopped by how fast Sam whips around, neck snapping at the speed.

His eyes are wide and frantic "W-wait don't tell me I'm creeping them out! Oh, oh Yoba I can't- I just- hnnnnnn."

Sam sinks down, covering his face with his hands as he lays most of his upper half on the pool table. Sebastain rolls his eyes, shaking his head with a sigh.

"Bro, just go talk to them you have so many times before, so what gives?" He crosses his arms, tired of his friend's bullshit at this point.

Sam doesn't answer, just lowly whining instead of answering.

"Sam, it's just the farmer, you two are friends, right? So why all this now?" Abigail chimes in.

In truth this isn't the first time Sam has done this, it's like a switch flipped in his head and he can barely talk to you without making a fool of himself, the two watched it in real time with their own eyes.

But they also remembered how you chuckled and helped him right back up, making sure he was okay before laughing more. You have a good heart, and clearly like the blonde as well, so why not just ask you out already?

"I can't!" Sam cries, "Everytime I try I can't for, words, I can't think- oh their smile kills me, their are so cute! I wanna kiss them so badly but that stupidly cute curious expression makes me choke. Broskis I'm gonna die, this is it, this is how I go."

The blonde finally and slowly falls to the ground, laying face down to avoid the judging looks from his friends, but it's better than being made to talk to you, he'd die if he had to approach you and explain himself-

"Hey, is Sam okay?"

You yelp as Sam shoots up off the ground, smacking his head into the pool table before fixing himself into a forced casual pose, leaning against the table with a smile.

"H-hey wow didn't uh, didn't see you there sorry!"

Sebastain is cringing so hard, it's like a bad movie he can't believe he's friends with this dork. However Sam can't breathe, the back of his head is throbbing, how heart is slamming against his chest, he's forgetting everything just looking at you.

You look so worried, your hand closest to him reaching for his face.

"Oh my, are you okay? That was a hard hit, c'mon let's get you seated." You almost want to stress how serious head injuries are, but you decide against it, just helping him to the couch nearby.

"I'm fine, so fine! Didn't even feel it, haha!" He's sweating.

Abigail and Sebastain share a knowing glance, before Abigail opens her mouth.

"Don't worry about him, he's just lost the brain cell."

"Tck, when did he even have one?"

Sam weakly glares at his friends, but he quickly forgets his anger when you gently touch his cheek.

"Do you need me to get you anything? I'm sure Gus has an ice pack somewhere." Your voice so soft, like a gentle melody to his ears helping ease the pain from his head.

"I, uh....you're fine- I MEAN good, no no I'm-"

Abigail cuts off his blubbering "Can you get him an ice pack and some water? Seems he made himself dizzy."

"Good idea." You nod, taking your leave and the trio watch you rush over to the bar and wave down Gus.

Abigail and Sebastain look to Sam, watching him curl in on himself with a high pitched, but soft 'aaaaaaa.'

"How did you fumble the bag that badly?"

"Guys please, I just wanna forget I exist right now." The blonde whines.

"You are lucky they like them stupid." Sebastain cackles, patting his friend on his back.

Sam knows he's right, but how can he ask you out when you take his breath away?

[brbzonedout]

Miles comforts insecure reader

Pairing: E!42 Miles x Fem(tomboy)!Reader

Warnings: Body Imagine issues, catcalling?, Crying.

You stared at yourself in the mirror turning to see the pair of jeans at every possible angle.

“Ain’t no way,” you muttered to yourself.

The pair of snug fitting 2000s style jeans hugged your thighs and hips in a way that made it uncomfortable to stand let alone walk.

Eying yourself in the mirror you started to feel extremely insecure. Ever since you hit puberty you’ve been thick and developed faster than the other kids in your grade. It wasn’t a bad thing by any means it’s natural but for you it brought a lot of unwanted attention at such a young age and that carried well into your teenage years.

Earlier before you and Miles entered the store you both decided to stop for chick-fil-a. While in line an older guy maybe in his late 20s and his friend decided to take it apon himself to comment about how you looked in your school uniform. Commenting that you had quote on quote “anime thighs” and that he’d “Take that over a desk any day,” Miles wanted so badly to chew them out up held back after you said not to start anything.

Bring a shy person to begin with didn’t help much, so to cope with your feelings, you started wearing slightly baggier clothes. They gave you a sense of comfortability you hadn’t felt in a long time. On top of that the style was just cute in general.

But today while in the mall with your boyfriend he picked out the jeans for you. Was this him saying he didn’t like the type of clothes you wear now?

“You good in there?” Miles said from outside of the dressing room.

You jumped being startled out of your zoned out state.

“Y-yeah i’m cool…” you shouted back making sure he heard you.

You didn’t want to have to lie twice.

“Can I come in?”

“If you want…” you cringed at the way that came out, like you didn’t want him in there.

Miles slightly parted the curtain and slid in through the crack.

“If I want?” he said eying you up and down with a slight smile.

You shrugged.

Miles look up and met your eyes through the mirror before you broke eye contact causing him to start worrying.

“What you don’t like ‘em?”

You shrugged again lightly pulling at the material around your thighs.

“They’re nice…kind of tight-”

The boy put his slim fingers through your belt loops and pulled back lightly.

“Mm, yeah I guess- ain’t that the style though? Want me to go get a bigger size?”

“The style? You sound like your mom,” you forced a giggle at the boy honestly trying to change the subject.

He smiled at your comment and stuffed his hands in his pockets. But, his eyes glanced up at yours. Once you broke eye contact for the second time he knew something was wrong.

“So do you want a bigger size? They’re right out there.” The boy peeked through the curtain and squinted to see the available sizes, “I think the next size u-”

You cut him off, “Don’t we gotta find something for you too? Is it getting late?” You rambled and scrambled to find your phone to “check the time”.

“Baby….” he said flatly with a slight confused look on his face, “why are you avoiding my question?”

Eye brows furrowed trying your best to create a false confused expression, you turned around to face him.

“What question?”

“Seriously?”

“Miles-”

“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

With a slight pout you played with the hem of your white collard shirt, “I just don’t like the pants…”

“Ok? That’s fine we can look for more.” he shrugged.

You looked in the mirror once again noticing how the denim tightened around your hips…and thighs…and butt. The man’s voice played back in your head, “I’d take that over a desk any day,” it was too overwhelming. You just broke down.

In your relationship with Miles he had never seen anything trigger you this much and this fast.

Without hesitation he stepped forward and gently placed his hand on your arms to calm you down.

“Hol’ on hol’ on, chill i can’t understand you if you’re crying. Just relax ok?” said as he rubbed his thumb soothingly over your arm.

You took a deep breath in and wiped your tear stained cheek with the heel of you palm then nodded head.

“I don’t like how they look on me, and it just triggered me cuz of what happened earlier.”

Miles sat you both down on the dressing room floor listening intently making sure you understood he heard you.

“Then why’d you say you liked them?”

“I thought you would want me to get them? I don’t know. I just wanted to get out of here.”

He chuckled, “Since when do you care what I think about clothes?”

With a quick glance up you thought for a moment then laughed sniffling and wiping your tears once again. “Ok true, I don’t. I don’t know you just seemed to like them a lot.”

“Listen I don’t give a fuck what you wear I just wanna make sure you’re comfortable,” he leaned back against the dressing room wall, “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I told you what to wear all the time.”

“A bad one.”

“A bad one,” he parroted you. “And what that bitch said earlier don’t matter he was ignorant and obviously gets no play talking about anime thighs. Looked almost 30 acting like a little bitch.”

You smiled slightly and nodded sitting up to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in for an embrace.

“I’m sorry that was dramatic, breaking down out of nowhere.”

Miles hugged back and laid a quick peck on your cheek.

“Stop apologizing for dumb stuff, no offense. You were sad so you cried it’s normal, now come on we gotta go I don’t think i’m supposed to be in here.” he laughed and handed you the skirt you walked in with.

A smile came across your face as you took the clothes from him.

“Wanna get Cinnabon after this?” you asked unbuttoning the jeans.

“What kind of question is that? No duh I want Cinnabon!”

This is lowkey based on myself, this was really fun though. Exploring different emotions I feel like i’m getting slightly better. Thank you for reading!! Remember requests are open right now so don’t be shy!

[hellodarling1357]

Drunk Words, Sober Thoughts? (Cassian x Reader) - Part 4

Here it is!! The 4th (and possibly final) part of Drunk Words, Sober Thoughts?

If anyone wants to see anything else out of this fic, let me know and I’ll be more than happy to write it! But for now I’m going to focus on working through the requests that have been sent in and outlining another (much longer) Cassian x Reader fic that I’ve been thinking about for a while now!

You can read part one, two and three here if you need to catch up ❤️

Word Count: 2.6k

You blindly pushed your way through the crowd, no real destination in mind, you just needed to get away from everyone. Away from him.

There was no chance of holding back your tears now and you inwardly cringed at the scene you were making as the crowd of gaping people watched and parted for you.

“Y/N.”

The shout of your name had a quiet sob escaping from your lips and the murmured apologies that came from behind told you that Cassian was chasing after you.

Bursting onto the, thankfully empty, balcony you heaved a breath as you lent against the banister, trying to stop the trembles that coursed over your body.

“Y/N,” Cassian shut the door behind him, preventing the onlookers from watching the scene play out. “What’s going on? What was that?”

You couldn’t find the words, so instead just shook your head as the tears fell, refusing to meet his eye.

Sensing him now standing beside you, you flinched when his arm lifted up and wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you closely into his side as he gently caressed the bare skin of your arm. Cassian didn’t know what was wrong but he was damned sure going to at least try to offer you some comfort. But when you let out a cold, disbelieving laugh and stepped out of his grip, Cassian’s brows furrowed, his worry, concern and confusion amplified by your dismissal.

“Don’t,” your voice croaked and your body missed the momentary warmth he had provided. “It’s not fair, Cassian. You know how I… Look, I’m happy for you, truely I am. But I can’t pretend that it doesn’t hurt. I just, I need some space.”

Your eyes brimmed with tears again as you stared out across the sprawled city of Velaris, desperately trying to keep yourself together, not being able to bear the thought of Cassian seeing you crumble even further apart.

“I don’t understand,” Cassian’s voice was laced in question. “Can’t pretend what doesn’t hurt? Y/N, if I’ve done something then I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but you need to tell me what it is because I’m coming up blank here. Hels, we haven’t even properly seen each other since…” He trailed off, running a hand through his hair, as if remembering what he had drunkenly said before it had all spiralled out of control.

Still leaning against the balcony, eyes squeezed tightly shut, you didn’t notice Cassian edging closer to stand beside you again until he gently took your hand in his.

“Y/N, if it’s about what I said the other night, it doesn’t have to change anything. You’re right, I was drunk, really drunk, and now that—“

You ripped your hand away from his, not wanting to hear what you assumed would be “…and now that Evalina is back.”

“Just go away, Cass.” You finally turned to face him, just barely witnessing his crestfallen expression change into one of shock and frustration as he let out a huff.

“I know it was unexpected, but you don’t have to act like I’ve—“

“Like you’ve what, Cassian? Like you suddenly, out of the blue decide to tell me that you love me? And then, what? Not even 24 hours later, you and Evalina are walking arm in arm down the Sidra.”

“What does Evalina have to do with any of this?”

Cassian could understand why you would be angry about what he had confessed to you that night. Hels, the fear of his feelings getting in the way of your friendship is what stopped him from saying anything earlier. But even though your rejection of him being anything more than a friend was apparent, he didn’t have any regrets about finally putting everything out in the open. At least now that he knew where you stood, he could have a chance of moving on instead of living for the blind hope that soared within him at every smile and glance you sent his way.

Despite all of this, he was still completely thrown at the mention of his ex’s name, not quite understanding how it played a part in you being mad about him admitting his feelings. You, however, just continued in your outburst, not even registering Cassian’s interjection.

“And the worst bit about all of this is that it’s my fault” You let out a sad laugh at the realisation. “If I had just heard you out the other morning, let you explain and tell me for yourself, then I wouldn’t have been letting myself get my hopes up that you actually felt the same way, wouldn’t be thinking that maybe we could actually work, after all these years, only to find out, from Evalina of all people, what had happened.”

Cassian swiped his thumb over your cheek, wiping away your tears, the gesture bringing your rant to a standstill as you stared at him with wide eyes.

The confusion slowly ebbed away as Cassian started to piece together what you were saying, that this whole mess had just been a stupid misunderstanding from both of you. Still, he needed to hear you say it, needed to hear what had taken shape in your mind which was so, so far from the truth.

As that glimmer of hope flickered back to life, Cassian softly asked, “What do you mean by what had happened, Y/N? What does Evalina have to do with this?”

You looked at him as though he had been hit over the head, not understanding why he was forcing you to say the words that had your mouth feeling like sandpaper and caused your heart to feel as though it were being torn apart.

“That you and Evalina realised you were mates?” You slowly said in confusion, before hurriedly saying, so as not to take away from your friend’s happiness, “Look, I’m happy for you. I really am. But, gods Cass, I’m not going to lie, I’ve been so deeply in love with you for years now, and I thought you meant what you said to me, and then finding out it’s actually Evalina…I think I just need some time...”

And there it was.

Rhys and Azriel had been telling him for years to get his shit together because you obviously felt the same way, but not once did he think it could actually be true.

The wide grin that spread across Cassian’s face had you balking, sure, the mating bond could make those involved get overly intense when it comes to their mate, especially at the beginning. But you would’ve thought that he would be somewhat courteous of your feelings after bearing your heart to him.

“Y/N, are you jealous?”

You blinked at him, silenced by his blunt and sudden question as feelings of shock and enragement coursed through you at his blatant arrogance.

“Fuck you, Cassian.”

Letting out a disbelieving scoff, you turned on your heel back towards the party, trying to decide on whether you should find Mor and let her assist you in drinking away your sorrows, or slipping away so that you could cry yourself to sleep.

Your foot had lifted a mere inch off the ground before a strong hand was circling your wrist and spinning you back around.

The intensity of Cassian’s expression left you breathless, his eyes frantically scanning over your face, searching for the answer to an unasked question.

He must’ve found what he was looking for, for no less than a second later, his other hand was cupping your face before pulling you against him and pressing his lips to yours in a searing kiss.

You let yourself get lost in the feel of his mouth and the closeness of his body. A small moan left you as all thoughts disappeared, leaving your mind vacant of everything that wasn’t the male in front of you.

Finally breaking the kiss, Cassian lent his forehead against yours as he took in deep breaths, unable to contain his grin or control his breathing, especially at the sight of you before him.

You kept your eyes squeezed tightly shut, the pounding of your heart and your breath mixing with Cassian’s stealing you of all your senses as your mind tried to play catch up.

“Cass…what?”

But his deep chuckle reverberated through you before he pressed another kiss to your lips, the corner of your mouth, your cheek, your forehead, as though he couldn’t get enough of you, until finally…

“She’s not my mate.”

Your blank stare prompted him to repeat what he had said, grin still very much present as he rubbed his hands up and down your arms.

“Evalina. She’s not my mate—“

“But—“

Another kiss silenced you before he continued with a pointed look, telling you to let him finish.

“I don’t know what you saw the other day, but we bumped into each other at one of the markets, she’s just moved back from Dawn and we figured it was about time we talked and cleared the air.”

“But she said you were mates?”

This time Cassian pressed a kiss to the top of your head before leading you over to one of the bench seats that overlooked Velaris, softly taking your hands before explaining.

“No, she said she had found her mate. We saw the two of you talking earlier, I just assumed you already knew.”

“Who?” You asked before the pieces clicked into place, Evalina had just moved back from the Dawn Court…

“Bryn? From that new bar? They’re mates?”

“Yes, they are.” Another chuckle escaped him at your expression.

“Oh.”

Cassian gently nudged you with his shoulder, looking at you expectantly. But you still couldn’t entirely wrap your head around everything.

“Evalina and Bryn are mates?”

“Yes.” Cassian repeated in a bemused tone.

“But they’re so different,” You hadn’t realised you had said it aloud but Cassian just laughed in agreement, his thumb rubbing circles into your hand as he tried to get you to focus so that you could talk about where the two of you stood.

“The way she said it, she just seemed so smug…”

Cassian let out a small groan as a memory resurfaced.

“Well, she did overhear you and Mor talking about her once, something about her slim chances of even having a mate...” You paled at that, the pair of you had never openly shown your dislike for the female out of respect for Cassian, but after a few drinks you both tended to get loud and opinionated…

“Fuck, Cass, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make her feel… Shit, I knew I must’ve done something to make her not like me.”

Again, Cassian laughed and waved off your apology.

“Y/N it was over twenty year ago, trust me, it’s fine. Besides,” He trailed off, a sheepish expression crossing his features as he ran a nervous hand through his hair. “I might’ve been the reason she didn’t particularly…warm up to you.”

Not warming up to you was putting it lightly.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she always had a suspicion, it used to drive me crazy, probably because I wouldn’t let myself admit it, but she was convinced there was something going on between us.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at that. Right. You still had to have that conversation, you just hoped you hadn’t scared him off with how you reacted earlier…

“You’re actually sort of the reason we broke up.”

Now it was Cassian’s turn to blush, his cheeks opting for a pink hue as he stared at the ground, refusing to meet your eye.

“Cass?” You gently asked. You had always wondered what had happened but never wanted to push him, their final fight had been explosive.

“Do you remember, you and Mor were going to see that play but last minute she couldn’t make it so you asked me to go with you instead?” You nodded. It had been so long ago but you would never forget that day.

“Turns out, I’d forgotten that Evalina and I were meant to get dinner that night,” Cassian seemed to hesitate before continuing. “For her birthday.”

Oh, well that made sense. After the play you had grabbed a late lunch, which turned into afternoon drinks that stretched well past midnight. Nothing had happened between the two of you, but keeping him away from her on her birthday… You knew how that would seem if Evalina already had doubts.

Noticing the slight cringe on your face, Cassian heaved a sigh.

“That’s not even the worst of it. When I got back, she was waiting up for me and I tried to make it up to her but,” Leaning forward, Cassian let out another embarrassed breath, still refusing to meet your eye. “I…I might’ve accidentally let your name slip out during... And, well, we broke up that night.”

You were stunned into silence, your cheeks turning red at the thought. Cauldron, no wonder Cassian never delved into the details surrounding the breakup. At least Evalina had since found her mate, you and Cassian’s tangled mess a long forgotten detail of her past.

However, you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped you. The reality of the whole situation came crashing down as you realised how much time you had both wasted.

“So even back then?”

Cassian looked at you, question dancing in his eyes that prompted you to continue.

“So even back then, you were in love with me?” You nudged his shoulder with your own before turning back to face the view of the city, hoping to hide your overwhelming grin.

“Long before then, Y/N…” He trailed off, voice filled with emotion as his hand softly came up to cup your jaw, turning you back to face him.

Words wouldn’t be able to capture the feelings and emotions you felt in that moment, so instead you simply whispered, “Good to know.”

You raised your hand to cup his cheek, softly caressing the stubble that lingered, your other hand tightened around his as you tilted your face up to meet his lips in a soft kiss, hoping to convey all the thoughts you couldn’t yet say.

*****

The two of you lost track of time, only breaking apart at the distant sounds of awe that filtered through the night.

Looking up, you watched on as the first few stars flittered across the sky, the music from the band inside trailing out to the balcony as the brigade of colours danced across the darkness overhead.

You quickly jumped up, turning to face Cassian, whose face was filled with adoration as he watched you, and grasped his hands to pull him up alongside you as you made your way to the edge of the balcony.

Cassian stood behind you, his muscled arms wrapping around your body as he pulled you tightly against him, his face half concealed in your hair as he watched the stars fly across the sky in silence, content in witnessing this moment with you by his side.

After a moment, you leant back even further against him, turning your head to place a kiss against his neck.

“In case you missed it before,” You whispered, “I love you too.”

“Good to know.”

His words were a mock whisper of what you had said earlier, but the smile that was still present as he tilted your face closer to meet his had butterflies swarming your stomach.

The kiss was filled wish such passion and love that it left you mourning for the time you had missed together, but longing for what was yet to come.

*****

Wooooo love our miscommunicative king and queen but at least they got there in the end. Of course Evalina wasn’t going to get in the way of a happy ending 🥲

Again, if you have any one shot requests for this particular series (or any requests for that matter), my inbox is always open.

Idk, maybe it can be about whether or not Cassian and reader are mates, some Starfall smut, or a little throwback to Cassian and Evalina breaking up because of Cass’ little slip up, I really loved that detail aha! The options are endless….

Thank you so much for reading 🥰

[schemmentis]

La Cosa Nostra - Pt. 24

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15 / Part 16 / Part 17 / Part 18 / Part 19 / Part 20 / Part 21 / Part 22 / Part 23

Cowritten w/ @janeyseymour

Summary: Your new life continues...but the past has a funny way of coming back.

WC: 3.1k

Melissa keeps her word. She’s able to keep Lena with her mother while everything gets sorted out. And when it comes down to it, Lena and her mother end up staying in your guest room for a bit until they can get back on their feet.

So, the names Melissa and Y/N slowly fade away and become a thing of the past for the time being. Only when you’re positive that the other family is out of the house do you call each other by your real names.

After a few months, your girls are trying to convince Lena’s mother to stay with the four of you. Even though you’d arranged it so Lena had even gone to summer camp with them, and it had been months since that trip on top. With a bit of savings, and a few favors from one of the real estate guys you know, they’ve found their own little townhouse not too far from yours. You ensure they know the space is always there for them if it’s needed but you don’t beg like your daughters. You and Melissa have to bribe them with a movie weekend to get them to stop pouting once Lena and her mother officially move out. Despite the fact they still see Lena every day at school and spend plenty afternoons afterward between both of your houses.

By then, it’s the end of summer. Your wife has stolen the laptop you share for late nights putting together her lesson plan for the new year. Thankfully, this is your job’s slow season. You gladly hand primary possession to Melissa, taking over dinner and other evening chores in her stead so she doesn’t have to worry about anything that isn’t getting everything straightened out for the new school year. You knew she hated feeling unprepared, especially when it came to teaching.

It wasn’t the same as the restaurant. That brief glimmer of a dream come true that you try not to think about because of all the other things it was wrapped up in. It isn’t the same but you still see that spark of passion, even if it isn’t as bright for this profession as her previous. You see it all the same and smile with every new school year for the reminder of it.

You take a rare Monday half-day the day the school year starts. It used to be because you had to in order to ensure the girls were to school on time. One less thing for your wife to worry about that day even if it was in the same building. Plus, you got to sneak a little extra time with her yourself after seeing the girls to class.

Now, it’s out of habit though you’ve switched to taking the afternoon instead of the morning off. Especially since the girls try to speed walk away from the car that morning before you or Melissa can get out of it to avoid being seen with you. Like their friends don’t know who you are. In particular who Mrs. Vinci the second grade teacher is.

“Okay, bye!” Your wife shouts once she’s stepped out of the car herself. “Have a great first day! Mommy loves you!!”

You see the cringe of two pairs of shoulders as they duck inside while you step to Melissa’s side. “You did that one on purpose.” You accuse.

“No idea what you mean, Amore.” She murmurs as she loops her arm with yours to start walking in together. The smirk on her lips tells you she knows exactly what you mean and it very much was on purpose.

“Don’t torture them for not sayin’ goodbye at lunch, huh?” You suggest as you round the corner to head down the hall for her classroom. “It’s too early in the year for me to referee at dinner.”

“Honey, you’re refereeing in this family year round and you know that.” She retorts. Her arm unhooks from yours to pull out her keys to unlock the door that she props open. 

You lean against the doorway as she crosses to her desk. Her mug of coffee sat down along with her purse. “I could bring you lunch instead?” You offer a more tempting solution. “Sandwiches from your favorite deli? That’s a good start to the school year, huh?”

“You wanna renew our vows?” Melissa jokes in place of a yes. Still, she grins at you a moment later when she glances up from organizing her desk. “What’d I say? Refereeing twenty four seven, Amore. Without even meanin’ to.” She winks before turning her attention back to getting ready for the day.

You take what you know to be an absolute joke to heart though. “We never did officially get married as Raphaela and Saoirse.”

“I was joking, my love,” your wife chuckles softly. She sees the way that you look at her though, a softness that is only reserved for her. “Maybe.”

“I have to head to work,” you kiss her gently. “But you have a great first day, and please… don’t embarrass our girls. Please.”

“I make no such promises,” Melissa tells you earnestly. Then her lips quirk upwards. “I swear, all I do is breathe sometimes, and Cat flips her shit.”

“She takes after you,” you remind her. “Rosie definitely takes more after me.”

“That she does.”

You press one last kiss to her lips before you head out to your own job. 

It’s a slow day for you, and one of your clients ends up having the last name ‘Howard’. It takes you back years as your mind is flooded with memories. You wonder what they’re up to. Is Barbara still teaching at Abbott? Is Gerald still a senator? That gets you thinking about what the rest of your group is up to. After going down the rabbit hole and being relieved that both sets of parents are still alive and well, you check a few of the names of those in La Cosa Nostra. Dominic and Tommy are both dead. Dominic and Tommy have been dead for years. You swallow harshly at that news.

Meanwhile, Melissa is greeting her students at the door as they come in for the first day with their parents. It's all normal first day jitters until green eyes land on two figures she’s seen before… and not in New York.

Your wife coughs awkwardly. “Danik? Shaw?”

Two pairs of eyes dart right to her. “M- Raphaela?”

“I- oh my God.” Then she smirks and punches Shaw lightly. “I see you finally grew a pair and asked her out.”

“We’ve been married for the last… pretty much as soon as you left,” Shaw rubs his arm in the place that your wife playfully smacked him. “Had Frankie not too much later.”

“Frankie? I have a Frankie in my class this year,” Melissa stutters out.

“It’s funny,” Grace chuckles softly. “We saw the name of his teacher, but we didn’t think it could possibly be you.”

“It- it is,” she says softly. “Hey… I have to get to the kids, but… we should meet soon and discuss what’s happened in the past eight years.”

“We should,” both agents say at the same time. 

When the afternoon finally arrives, you swiftly turn off your computer. You’d ended up not getting nearly enough done. Instead, you’d gotten lost in following all those old ties. Seeing what presence of members of the Family you could track down. Most of them lead you to obituaries. It had only been in the last hour you’d be at the office that you had brought yourself to actually search for members of your family. You find a small smattering of them online; sharing photos from gatherings and holidays and birthdays. 

What had entirely stopped you short had been coming across a memorial post. For you, Melissa, and your daughters. For some reason, you hadn’t even considered it would be your own memorial you’d run across even as you had done so for many others you knew in your old life. You look at the poster, closing your eyes briefly when you see it’s Kristen Marie. If Melissa finds out about this you know you won’t be able to keep her from booking a flight to Philadelphia. Not if her sister is posting things like this, remembering her every year publicly on plenty of different occasions. This was the type of thing a Schemmenti sister pretended to not care enough to do. The fact that Kristen Marie has, and multiple times over a near decade, speaks volumes. 

It would be one thing if it had only been your daughters. You knew Melissa wouldn’t pitch a fight over that. She’d agree the girls should be remembered. Completely innocent just like they still were. You know though if your wife sees her own face and the caption her sister has put sharing how much she misses her it will be the last straw on the homesickness you’ve both been fighting ever since you left. 

From Kristen Marie’s post, you’d looked through her profile and clicked through to Mickey’s. Mickey who had gotten out only a few months after you’d ‘died.’ Mickey who’s profile is nearly entirely Melissa, you and your twins. The only exception is posts from Sunday dinner of everyone together. Even then there’s always a mention of the four of you.

You don’t dare click on the profile you see for Barbara. Relieved when that had been when you’d glanced to the clock to find it time to go. A quick rush to your wife’s favorite deli to pick up lunch and you’re walking back into the school. You’re certain you’re going to become an honorary TA for the rest of the afternoon but you don’t mind.

You knock on the doorway before you walk back into Melissa’s classroom. “Lunch as promised.” You say as you place her sandwich on her desk, pointedly over the papers she’d been trying to grade despite being on her break. It’s only when she looks up to glare at you for it that you steal a kiss, winking as you move to pull up your own chair.

“Thank you, Amore.” Melissa says as she unwraps both your lunches while you pull the chair over. “You’re never gonna guess who the parents of one of my kids this year is.”

“Don’t tell me it’s the youngest kid of that one mom from a couple years ago that was an absolute bitch and thought you were wrong for failing her daughter?”

Melissa’s lips form into a tight line. “Nope.”

“Who?”

“Danik and Shaw. Their son Frankie is in my class.”

“What?” Your eyes nearly pop out of your head.

“They dropped him off this morning and couldn’t believe it either.”

“Wh- how? Why are they in New York?”

“I don’t know,” she says quietly. “We didn’t get a chance to chat, but I told them we should meet at some point to discuss everything.”

“Oh god,” you groan softly. “Well… you’ll never guess what I did today at work.”

“What’s that?” your wife’s brow furrows as she takes a bite out of her sandwich.

“I…” You take a deep breath. “I went back to our past lives. Looked up people who were real important to us from Philly.”

“Y-you did?”

“I don’t know what came over me,” you whisper softly as a few tears bloom to your eyes. “Our parents are still alive. Kristen Marie is still alive and kicking. Mickey’s Facebook is pretty much dedicated to us… I didn’t have the courage to check on Barb’s facebook, but she seems to be doing well. I found our memorial pages. It was…” you sniffle. “And uh,” you scratch the back of your head. “Dom and Tommy are gone. Have been for years.”

“They’re gone?” Melissa’s face pales just slightly. You know how much they meant to her, even if they almost always put you through hell.

You nod silently. “Died in prison.”

“C-can you show me their obituaries?”

“At home, love. For now, can we just… If we keep talking about it, I’m going to keep crying,” you request softly. “Almost everyone from Cosa Nostra is gone. And we can look into it later tonight… when the girls are asleep.”

She obliges your request, reaching a hand over to settle gently on your thigh. She squeezes it softly, letting you know silently that she’s here for you.

Despite your request to not speak of it, you continue to have tears fall down your cheeks as you break down quietly. You tend to break down a bit more than she does- you blame the girls and the fact that you gave birth to them for that.

“I miss our old lives,” you whisper, voice cracking. “I miss my mam, and my dad… I miss Babs.”

“I know,” she replies just as quietly. “I thought it would get easier.”

“I wish… I wish we could go back.”

“I do too,” Melissa tells you. “But like you’ve told me before: the life that we built here is just as beautiful, and not nearly as messy. It’s what we had to do to keep our girls safe.”

She goes on to say more, but the bell rings to signify that lunch is over. You quickly finish your lunches before she’s standing at the door and waiting for her little gremlins to come in.

As soon as you see Frankie, you know who he is. He is almost a spitting image of his father, right down to the goofy smile that you only got to see a few times while he was trying to keep spirits light for your girls in the hospital. And that… that’s something special that tugs at your heartstrings. 

You turn back around under the cover of saying goodbye one more time. Something you’d be guilty of anyway but today you have other motivation too. “When they pick him up, see if you can find out when they’re free. Maybe invite ‘em to the house? We can have dinner when the girls stay at Lena’s next.” You say before kissing her one last time then letting her get back to teaching the second half of the day. You meant to offer to help her out if you could but after the conversation over lunch, and your mild breakdown, you figure its best you take a little breathing room. For you both.

You force yourself not to go home. You know if you do you’ll just go right back to digging and you can’t let yourself now. At least tonight Melissa will be looking with you and her stronger willpower can get you to stop better than just you on your own. You wouldn’t have stopped at the office if you hadn’t been leaving early today.

You avoid the hallway where you know the middle school’s classes are to ensure your girls don’t see you. You’re not trying to get a lecture about being embarrassing tonight over dinner. You duck into the library, finding one of your old favorites among the shelves to get lost in for the hundredth time. Which you do, thankfully. Your mind keeps distracted until you hear the dismissal bell. You take the time to finish the page you were on to avoid arriving to pick up either your daughters or your wife too quickly. Any of the three of them would be suspicious, especially knowing you had the afternoon off today.

Carefully, you return the book to the proper section of the shelf before you step out of the library once more. You make your way to get the girls first. They don’t have any of their extracurriculars today and you don’t want them to end up just standing outside when you’re already here. Still, you decide to wait halfway down the hall instead of going to the door. The potential for a lecture is still on your mind. You wait only a few minutes before both Cat and Rosie exit their homeroom with Lena and some of their other friends. All of which greet you politely and with smiles but still Cat takes your hand to hurry you back down the hallway to get you on your way to pick up Melissa before you can manage more than a hello.

You roll your eyes where neither of the girls can see though you don’t fight. Not that you really want to, considering it is your wife’s classroom you’re once again returning to today. 

“Hi, Ma.” Cat and Rosie greet her at the doorway in unison. 

You don’t think either of them see it but you still pick up on the miniscule jolt at the nickname. “There’s my three favorite ladies. Gimmie just a minute to get my stuff together and I’ll be ready.”

You turn back toward the hallway at a tap at your leg. “‘Scuse me,” A tiny voice says to you, stepping past you in the room you’ve made in the doorway once you’ve turned.

“Ms. Vinci, my mommy said to give you this note.” The little boy says as he nearly runs into your wife’s legs in his hurry to get to her to complete the task. 

“Thank you, Frankie. Tell her I’ll talk to her soon, okay? And don’t run in the hallway on your way back to her and your dad.”

“We’re getting reading time tomorrow, right?”

Your wife laughs, nodding. “Yes, I promise, now go before you worry your parents, sweetheart.”

In anticipation you press against the doorway to give little Frankie enough room to zoom past you in the lead up to his sprint down the hall. Your eyes follow him just to make sure he’s safe. Just to meet the gaze of Agent Danik, or Shaw? You’ll have to ask her when you properly catch up. She waves once before leading Frankie out the front door of the school.

You turn back around to see Melissa’s gaze on the paper that Frankie handed her. Her face flickers through several emotions before she jumpstarts back up and continues packing her bags.

You cross the room and pick up a few things to help assist her. It earns you a gentle kiss on the cheek.

“Alright, my loves,” she finally sighs once she tucks the paper away. “Let’s head home. Mommy’s making lasagna tonight.”

As you all climb into the car, you glance back to ensure that your girls are distracted. Of course they are, both with headphones on and drowning out the world around them.

“What did the note say?” you ask as you squeeze her hand gently.

“Danik said we should meet them at their house on Saturday. Gave me the address and everything,” Melissa says through a tight lip.

“Should we?” You hope she nods, and she does.

Once you’re home, the girls fly up to their rooms to start on homework. They grumble about the fact that it’s ridiculous that they have homework on the first day of school. You’re inclined to agree.

[oneforthemunny]

under pressure |older!dilf!eddie munson x reader| part 8

prompt: after your parents find out you're dating an older man, they demand to meet him. or older!eddie meets your parents.

age gap relationship. reader is 26 and eddie is 42. all consensual.

glorious eddie edit used in the pictures above is by the amazing @eddiemunsons-missingnipple :) everyone say thank you!

contains: older!dilf!eddie, age gap, language, reader's dad is kinda assertive

Eddie's hands stayed on the wheel, which was odd because one usually gripped your thigh, held your hand, thumb stroking the top of your knuckles. Eddie looked ahead, wiping his palms on the front of his jeans for the fifth time since you left your apartment- he was nervous.

You couldn't really blame him for being anxious. Your stomach had been knotted and twisted since the afternoon before, when your mother called you, frantic and demanding.

"Mom, what are you talking about?" You asked, phone pressed to your shoulder, trying to lock your classroom door as quickly as possible.

Her voice was shrill, urgent from the moment you answered. She'd called you six times before, a string of texts from her and your sister. You'd worried something might have happened, an emergency that demanded your attention.

"I ran into Brielle's mother today. Madeline's friend?" Your mother snipped, voice tight. "I saw her mother, Gina, at the store today." Your heart dropped, stopping in the hallway. The mention of Eddie's ex sent a icy chill down your spine, tensing your shoulders.

"She told me that my daughter was dating her ex-husband." Your mother paused, and you stayed quiet. "Brielle's father?"

Your silence told her everything she needed to know, sending her into a frantic bombarding of questions, most revolving around Eddie's age. You'd managed to calm her down enough to silence her erratic questions, but not enough to dismiss it all together.

Oh no, your parents wanted to meet Eddie.

You had never seen Eddie so flustered, nervous. When you'd told him, you were sure he was going to pass out, paling at what you asked him. Yet, he agreed.

You pulled up to the familiar childhood home your family resided in since they moved to Hawkins. You looked over at Eddie, scanning his wild, wide brown eyes. "Hey, don't be nervous." You said quietly. "They're-They're really nice. They'll love you, ok? You just..." You took a deep breath in. "They'll have a lot of questions, so I'll handle them, ok?"

Eddie nodded, pulling his keys out of the ignition. He ran over to your side, opening the door before you could. His hands twitched in his jacket pocket, desperately fighting the urge to grab the cigarettes in his coat pocket. He hadn't felt this anxious since Brielle was born.

You rang the doorbell, stepping back and wrapping your arm around his. "It'll be ok. I promise." You whispered, placing a soft kiss to his cheek before the door swung open.

Your father stood there, eyes narrowed, challenging and intimidating towards Eddie. "Daddy," You smiled, dropping your arm from Eddie's to greet your father. He hugged you, pressing a kiss to your head while muttering a greeting, eyes furious back at Eddie.

You stepped back, clearing your throat uncomfortably. "Uh, Daddy, this is Eddie." You said, motioning towards your boyfriend. "Eddie, this is my Dad, Marty-"

"So, you're Eddie?" Your dad asked, stepping out of the home towards Eddie.

Eddie could feel sweat form on his hairline, discreetly trying to wipe his palms on his jacket pocket. "Yes," He smiled, his best, forced smile towards your dad. "It's a pleasure to meet you-"

"You're Brielle's dad," Your dad started, eyes narrowing in challenge. "Right?"

Eddie swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yeah, I am." He nodded, eyes flicking to yours. You shot him an apologetic look. "I... Madeline and Brielle are really great friends. She's a great girl- Well, both your girls are." Eddie cringed internally when your father's brows lifted at his admission.

There was silence, thick and uncomfortable in the air. "Yeah, they are." Your dad agreed after a moment.

"Oh, you're here, honey." Your mother said, coming to the door and opening it. She embraced you, turning to Eddie with a warm smile. "You must be Eddie. It's so great to meet you." She hugged him tightly. "Please, come in."

Madeline craned her neck, shooting you a wicked grin from the couch. You glared at her, shaking your head. Your mother was busy chatting to Eddie, offering him drinks and taking his coat, trying to make him feel as welcome as possible. It was hard with your dad's harsh glare still following Eddie's every move.

"Hi, Mr. Munson." Madeline greeted, waving from the couch.

Eddie smiled. "Hi, Madeline." He said, looking around the room, taking in the countless family portraits on the wall. "How are you doing?"

"Good." Madeline replied.

You sat next to your sister, placing your hand on Eddie's thigh when he sunk beside you. Your dad settled in his arm chair. Your mother sitting on the ottoman in front of him. "I have just a few things finishing cooking, then dinner should be ready." She smiled. There was silence.

"So, Eddie," Your mother started. "I'm told you work at the auto shop?"

Eddie nodded. "I do." He said cooly. "I'm a mechanic. I've worked there since I was eighteen."

Your mother smiled politely. "That's wonderful." She said, looking over at you. "Is that where the two of you met?" It was hopeful, forced, like she wanted that to be the story. You guessed Gina informed her otherwise when she cornered her at the supermarket.

"No. We met when I was taking Brielle home one night." You said, eyes avoiding your dad's.

"Oh," Your mother chirped, eyes cutting towards your father's. "How nice."

Your face flamed, uncomfortable and embarrassed. Not of Eddie, but for Eddie. You knew this was difficult for him, it was for you. An unavoidable obstacle in your relationship that was forced on the two of you.

The shrill of the kitchen timer saved the two of you, your mother excusing herself to get the dinner out, your father grumbling something about helping her. You reached over to Eddie, squeezing his hand in yours gently.

Eddie looked over, giving you a small smile, but his heart hadn't stopped beating, hammering hard under his ribcage. This was going to be a long night, he was sure of it.

***

"So, Eddie," The grumbled question came from your father, after a painfully uncomfortable and forced small talk at the dinner table. Eddie's eyes raised to meet his. "How old are you?"

The dreaded question you'd all been dancing around all night.

Your mother set down her fork, looking at Eddie curiously. Your sister's eyes met yours, grimacing sympathetically.

Eddie cleared his throat softly. "I'm forty-two." He said, trying to avoid the way your father's eyebrows rose.

"Hm," Your father hummed, nodding slowly.

"So, what exactly does a forty-two year old and a twenty-six year old have in common?" Your dad challenged, head cocking to the side and eyes narrowed.

"Marty," Your mother hissed.

"Dad," Your cheeks flamed.

"What? It's a reasonable question, don't you agree, Eddie?" Your dad asked, motioning to Eddie. "I'm just curious. I mean, you're nearly twenty years older than her-"

"Dad!"

"-I just want to know what the two of you have in common." Your dad continued. "What brought the two of you together?"

You apologized to Eddie, glaring at your father. Eddie shook his head, eyes meeting your father's. "No, it's fine, honey. It's a fair question." He said softly to you. "I know I'm not exactly what you wanted for your daughter, I do. I never thought I'd date someone so young either." Eddie admitted. "But your daughter is...incredible. She's kind, and funny, and caring. You have a great daughter. You both did an amazing job raising her and you should be proud."

Your mother beamed, looking over at your father. Eddie continued. "I'm lucky that your daughter wants to be with me, and-and I'm really glad she is." Eddie smiled over at you.

You grinned, squeezing Eddie's and lovingly under the table. You wanted to kiss him, his heart felt confession making your heart flutter.

Your father looked at you, face still neutral. Your shoulders fell, tensing under his stare. "Are you happy?" He asked.

The room fell silent. The question shocked you. "Yes," You said, nodding. "Yes, Dad, I am."

Your father sighed, looking over at Eddie. "You take care of my girl." He said. "I know you know what it's like, so... treat her nice."

Eddie nodded. "I will." He said, giving a small smile.

You smiled at him, lacing your fingers with his under the table. Your father softened, chatting with Eddie about work at the shop. Your heart fluttered, warmth comfortability filling the pit of your stomach. It felt like a weight had been lifted, your secret that was now less secret than before.

[hauntedhokage]

𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚜

Fushiguro Megumi/F!Reader

summary: Megumi has held onto a lot over the last few years, a chance encounter in a park begins his road to letting go. A expansion of this little thing that will hurt more but at least I fix it?

word count: 5.5k

warnings: angst, jjk manga spoilers, character death, my canon ending and gege can’t take that from me

note: reader’s nephew does not have a name to be inclusive of other cultures/names. Reader/her nephew are not indicated as being of Japanese descent - just living in Japan. 

Megumi meets you in the spring. 

He’s walking through the park on a Saturday morning, wanting to get some sunlight after a few days kept inside due to gloomy weather. It’s quieter than he’d expected, given the time and the weather, but he wasn’t complaining about it in the slightest. The quiet gave him less to worry about, less to be on the lookout for, and he felt like he could relax for a minute. The quiet gave him time to reflect on the number of times he was at this park as a kid on Saturday mornings with his sister and their benefactor. On occasion it hurts to be there, certain days of the year or holidays, but if the sun was out he liked to make sure he went on this walk. It was one of the few places they both were with him at. 

He enjoys the solitude, even the little excited footsteps he hears running around somewhere behind him that meant someone was having fun in the near empty park close by.

Until he feels a tug on his sleeve.

He looks down to see a child, couldn’t be older than five or six, staring up at him in mild confusion. Clearly he was expecting someone else, and that has Megumi looking around for the adult tied to this child. The playground was a bit far from where they were standing, so it was possible the little one was trying to play a joke on his parent and strayed too far. 

“I think you’ve got the wrong person,” is all he can think to say to the kid, and internally he’s cringing at himself because that wasn’t what you should say to a potentially lost child. “Were you at the playground?”

“Yeah, but-“

“Oh there you are!” 

“Auntie!” And the kid is off, running towards the source of the voice as Megumi turns to see who it was as well. You had to be around his age, relief etched into your features as you gently scold the boy for running off like that and request that he never scare you like that again. Then you’re looking to Megumi as you stand, and it clicks for him why the boy might’ve mistaken him for his aunt despite the obvious differences: you were wearing the same sweater. A crew neck pull over for a band so old they’d stopped touring and their original merch was highly coveted, some of which being the sweatshirts you both wore as you look at each other.

“I’m sorry that he might’ve disrupted your walk.”

“It’s no trouble,” he assures, watching the way you ruffled the kid’s hair in a way that was reminiscent of how Gojo would ruffle his hair. “I’m just glad you found us quickly.”

“Me too.” And now it’s awkward, he knows he should excuse himself but he doesn’t know how. You’re pretty with a wonderful smile, good taste in music, and the kindest eyes he’s seen in a while. Not since he met Yuuji. 

“What show of theirs did you catch?” He asks, gesturing between the two matching sweaters and watching as you look down at it. 

“Uh, they were playing in Shibuya.” You say the name of the city softly, and he feels the knife in his chest at the mention. Clearly Shibuya had a negative effect on you, too, he just wondered if the reasoning was similar. “You?”

“Yokohama.” His answer rolls off the tongue easily, even though he can’t help but think about how that group was one of the few things he and Gojo had in common. The blue eyed menace was so excited to show him the two tickets, gloating about how hard he’d worked to ensure those tickets made it to his email and the way Gojo practically abused his cursed technique to make them a path to the front - something that embarrassed Megumi at fifteen but at twenty two he appreciated it much more, and he wished he could’ve verbally given his appreciation even though he knew that Gojo always knew. It was his annoying talent, something he’d taken for granted. 

“Are you okay?” you ask, your hand still on your nephew’s head but this time Megumi thinks it’s more to keep the boy in place than out of affection. 

“Yeah, totally fine.”

“Sure.” You’re smiling despite clearly not believing him, and he feels his cheeks warm up at the thought of someone seeing right through him so easily. “Anyway, we’ll let you get back to your morning. Sorry again, but hopefully we’ll see you around.”

“Yeah, I hope so too.”

You’re leaving now, letting the excited kid pull you back to the playground while telling you about how he needed to show you something cool he found in the sand box. He did hope he saw you again, he realized that he hadn’t introduced himself or gotten your name. 

The next time he sees you, it’s at the grocery store just a few days later. You’re carefully examining some avocados while your nephew waits patiently in the shopping cart while holding a box of crackers. It’s the young boy who sees him first, excitedly waving while calling out to him as “park man”, which brings your attention from the avocados to Megumi as he waves awkwardly. You were dressed for the warmer weather, in a sundress as bright as your smile when you lock eyes with him. 

“When I said hopefully we’ll see you around, I didn’t think it’d be in two days.”

“I didn’t know going to the grocery store was off limits,” he responds, tone dry as always but it doesn’t faze you in the slightest. “I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Megumi.”

You introduce yourself and your nephew, who is excited to tell him that he’s about to turn six and Megumi nods with a smile that he really only gave to children so they wouldn’t think he was mean. But then the kid asks if Megumi wants to go his birthday party, something that has you telling him that it’s okay if he’s busy, but he has nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon but stare at a television that isn’t even turned on, so he says that he’d love to be there and relished in how excited the boy is at the information. Why this kid liked him so much after two interactions, he’d never know, but it did feel nice to make other people happy.  

“It’s going to be at the trampoline park, because what else is more entertaining than watching kids jump and fall?” He has to laugh at that, something that makes you smile as you pull your phone out. He gives you his contact information so you can text him the details of the party. “You don’t have to bring a gift or anything like that, it’s such short notice and he’s not really a gift getting kid.”

“No?”

“More of a quality time kind of guy,” you elaborate, smiling at your nephew as he plays with two bananas to make them talk to each other. “He might get that from me.”

“You’re a quality time kind of girl,” he comments, something that wasn’t supposed to be said out loud and the way you look up at him tells him that he definitely said that out loud. “I-I didn’t mean that in a weird way. Just-”

“You’re cute, Megumi.” You’re smiling again, amusement sparkling in those eyes he was quickly coming to adore. “Next Saturday, be there or be square.”

“What happened to ‘you don’t have to come’?”

“As you pointed out, I’m a quality time kind of girl. So if you’re not there, I’ll be upset.”

He can only scoff, cheeks pink as he brings the hand not holding his shopping basket to the back of his neck. It wasn’t fair that you’d figured out how to tease him so easily and here he was just mesmerized by your smile. 

It’s in the summer that Megumi realizes that he’s caught severe feelings. 

Your nephew truly liked him a lot, and you’d asked him if he was okay with spending a bit more time around them. He needed a positive male influence in his life, and Megumi was put together enough that he felt safe to spend that time with your nephew. 

He was often at your house for dinner, helping the kid with homework while you cooked. Saturday morning walks at the park turned into bird watching with colorful binoculars that were too small for his face but matched perfectly with your nephew. Board games and trying out different sports he knew how to play to appease your hope that the kid found some weekday hobby that wasn’t just playing in his room. In this additional time with you, he’d learned more about you. 

You worked in finance for a tech company, some unplanned departures occurring in your department as you came in, leaving you in charge of the department since you already had experience due to your internship you had in the company in university. 

Finance, something that made him think of Nanami even as he continues to ask you questions that you happily answer about your work despite laughing that it made for a boring conversation topic. It’s not hard for him to pick up on the fact that you hated your job - potentially just because you hated the responsibility of being in management - something that makes him wonder if you’d ever let him take care of you completely so you wouldn’t have to work. He liked you that much, which was insane considering he’d only known you for a few months. 

He gets to take you out on a real date when your nephew is away for a sleepover. 

“Where’s my buddy?” Megumi asks, noticing that there wasn’t the usual excited charge of footsteps barrelling towards him as he tried to take his shoes off. He hadn’t been told about a change in the schedule, but it also wouldn’t be the first time he’d gotten to be alone with you so it wasn’t weird by any means. 

“Sleepover. His first one,” you answer from the kitchen, and he follows your voice to where you’re cutting up fruit. “It’s a little weird, I’ve never spent a night away from him since I adopted him.”

“I can imagine,” he comments, leaning against the doorway to the kitchen with his arms crossed. “Do you maybe want to go out tonight? Get a drink or something that’s less than child friendly?”

He watches as you consider it, your hand that was once diligently slicing strawberries halted as you look down at the cutting board.

“Go out?”

“Yeah- I mean, if you want to stay in that’s fine,” he tries to recover, hoping he hadn’t offended you by suggesting you go do something people your age did when they didn’t have children for the night. “I just was thinking that-”

“No, it’s a good idea!” You sound excited, setting the knife down to turn to face him properly. You look at what he’s wearing before looking down at your own clothes, he assumes to check and make sure you’re not underdressed, and you seem okay with your attire. “What time should we head out?”

“Whenever you’re ready, there’s no rush since it’s just us two and no babysitter who needs to get home.” He doesn’t want to point out that most bars are going to be open until well after midnight, because he knows that dedicating your life to raising a child while single produces a lot of missed opportunities to do things that a lot of people your age did. Plus you never had a chance to really get into going out like that, not that he really did either. “Relax, you aren’t going to be graded on how you act in a bar.”

“Okay, but like how should I dress? Is this okay or like…better sweater?”

“I think you look great.” His cheeks are warm, he’s sure they’re at least pink if not bright red as he looks away from your smile, embarrassed that he’d said something so forward. What if you weren’t into him like that? He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. In the back of his mind, he thinks of Nobara and how she always had an outfit for any occasion - and if she didn’t, she was demanding a trip into the city so she could buy it.Appearances were close to everything to her, and you were a lot like her in that way.  

But that’s something he doesn’t have to worry about after your evening together. He’d taken you home, not realizing that he’d been holding your hand the entire way until you gave it a gentle squeeze at your door. The invitation to come in and hang out for a while is accepted embarrassingly quickly, but he feels comfortable sitting across from you on the couch as you tell him about how you’d come into being the guardian of your nephew. To hear that your family had died in Shibuya when your nephew was a baby was not something he was ready to hear, a guilt washing over him that he was unable to save anyone in that situation. You’d lost everything because of his lack of strength - he supposed you had so much more in common than he’d initially realized.

“No remains to pay respects to, they just…never came home.” He’s impressed that you keep your emotions in check as you talk about the loss. His hand comes to hold yours that rests on the back of the couch, thumb stroking the back of your hand as you try to smile for him. “Sorry, kinda killed the mood a bit.”

“No, not at all,” he tries to assure, scooting closer to you on the couch as you shake your head. “I appreciate that you shared that with me, truly.”

“You just feel safe, Megumi. I really like you a lot, if that’s not weird to say.” Your confession has his stomach turning, heart pounding as he’s relieved to hear that from you. “I’m glad you wanted to spend time with me tonight.”

“Of course I did, I really like you too.” He’s mumbling, his free hand rubbing the back of his neck. It’s your turn to scoot closer, needing to move your legs to the side so you could get as close as you could. “It’d be nice to take you out more, if you’re comfortable with that.”

“Yeah, of course.” You’re leaning in closer, and he takes the opportunity to meet you halfway in a kiss. Your hands hold his cheeks, and he basks in how soft you are. Your hands, your lips, your heart, just everything - a softness he’d been lacking over the past few years. You remind him of Yuuji with how welcoming you were, how relaxed and non-judgemental you were, plus you always managed to smile like his friend did. 

“I’d wanted to do that since you jumped into the foam cubes with me at the trampoline park,” you whisper, and he feels the warmth radiating off of your cheeks as he keeps you close to him. 

“You’ve got me however you want me,” he assures, holding your chin in place so he could kiss you again. 

Megumi realizes that he’s in love with you in the fall.

The quickly approaching anniversary of the Shibuya Incident has you both on edge, something he tries to push down for your nephew’s sake since he was excited for Halloween. He takes the boy shopping for a costume, where the question if they could have matching costumes comes up. He, personally, had no interest in even being around on Halloween - more interested in sitting in Gojo’s apartment cleaning or crying, whatever came up first. 

But he sees how excited the kid is and has to say yes. 

They settle on being pirates, a decision that had you smiling when you saw the shopping bags and heard the excited chattering about how he and Megumi were going to be pirates together for Halloween. Your nephew would be the pirate captain, Megumi his loyal first mate, with room for you on the crew if you wanted to join them. For obvious reasons you also weren’t big on Halloween but put on a brave face for your nephew, and agreed to join their crew with a promise to get your costume soon. 

And Megumi tags along when you do go shopping, taking advantage of another sleepover to spend an afternoon and evening together without risk of a nightmare or other need sending the child into your bed to wedge himself between you and Megumi for a more comforting night of rest. You also didn’t have to cook dinner, Megumi treating you to an easy meal at a sushi restaurant you’d mentioned wanting to try before letting you lead him around the shops to find the perfect pieces to your costume that could also be reused as everyday clothes. 

“You think it’ll be cute?” you ask, holding up the red blouse to your body. “Not like, as a pirate, but in the office? Maybe the gray pantsuit I have?”

“Maybe the black one more than the gray, you also have those pinstripe pants you like.”

“You mean the ones that you like?” your teasing has him red, looking away from your smug expression and down at the shopping bags he was holding for you. 

“Yeah, they’re uh- they’re cute on you.”

He thinks you get too much satisfaction in his embarrassment, but happily pays for your blouse because you would look cute in it and he liked investing in your cuteness and his pleasure in seeing you be cute in your professional wear. Did you hate it? Absolutely, but did it stop him? Absolutely not

And when you’re done, he takes you back to his apartment since it was closer than yours. You hadn’t really been in his space before, only once for a few minutes when you needed to grab your nephew’s jacket that had been left in Megumi’s car (another relic of Gojo’s that barely saw use). This would be different, you’d be staying the night, seeing more parts of him that you hadn’t yet seen. 

To be expected, you explore the space when he asks that you make yourself at home. Your jacket, a zip up he’d left behind that you’d absorbed into your closet, is hung up on the coat rack and you do a slow lap around your living room as he gets the water he’d offered. Questions are sent his way about art on the walls, his video game collection, the books on the bookcase, and he answers them all without needing to look at what you’re asking about. The art he’d gotten from an old mentor (an item from Nanami’s home that Shoko thought he would like), he did really like playing video games - mostly online ones with Yuuji, and the books didn’t get as much time off the bookcase as they should (something that gets a laugh from you as you turn away from the bookcase. 

But then you get to the shelves, commenting on the little figures that sat there and how cool it was that you had so many things from other countries, and he braces himself for when you finally focus on the picture that sat there. The figures were all souvenirs from Gojo’s travels, most of them given to him when he was still a child but something his benefactor carried into his teenage years since it’d become a tradition. It wasn’t until Gojo died that Megumi had learned that all of his figures had a match that lived in Gojo’s den. Now when Megumi got to travel he got a trinket for himself and another to add to Gojo’s collection, as was tradition. 

“Hey, Megumi, who’s this?” you ask, pointing at the lone picture on the shelf as he hands you a glass of water. “Your dad?”

And for the first time, he looks at that picture he took from Gojo’s apartment and doesn’t feel his stomach drop. It was a picture of him with Gojo celebrating his acceptance into Jujutsu High (as if someone of Zen’in descent would ever be denied with or without Gojo’s interference), a rare picture of himself as a teen with Gojo where he’s smiling by choice and not just to appease whoever was behind the camera. One of few photos of only him and Gojo, and a photo that Megumi cherished. 

“Yeah, kinda,” he starts, drinking from his own glass while pointing to the white haired menace printed on paper. “He took my sister and I in when we were kids. Basically my dad, since I never really knew my real father.”

“You have a sister?”

“She passed away when we were teenagers, around when I started high school.” That was the easiest explanation, bringing in the information around the curse and other things you wouldn’t really understand was just easier. “He, uh, he did too a couple years later. Trying to save me.”

You don’t say anything, only wrap your arm around him so you can rub his back as he tries to maintain his composure. He knows he doesn’t have to, you’d proven time and time again that you were a safe space for him to not be so guarded, but Gojo was such a sensitive topic for him. They all were, but Gojo raised him - Gojo made him who he was today - he was beyond special in Megumi’s heart and his memory deserved to be protected. 

“Come sit,” you prompt, pulling him from the wall and he lets you guide him to the couch. The blanket that sat on the back of the couch is grabbed as soon as you have hands free to do so, pulling it over his body as he crashes into you. He’s more than just comfortable enough to release the emotional buildup into your chest while you pet his head, running your fingers through his hair as you encourage him to let it out. The last time he cried like this was when he’d learned that Gojo had died, punching into the ground until Shoko and Yuuji had to drag him off of the cement and clean him up. And here he was now, sobbing into your chest like a child but not feeling ashamed about it in the slightest. 

“You’re so strong, Megumi,” you whisper, kissing his head and letting your lips linger as he sniffles. “But you don’t have to be all the time. Thank you for trusting me to take care of you.”

“H-his name was Satoru,” Megumi forces out, something that has you holding him just a bit tighter as you rest your cheek against his head. “Satoru Gojo. And I owe him everything.”

It’s about twenty minutes before he’s truly calmed down, but he’s grateful that you’re so safe for him to just let it all go. He makes no move to leave your loving embrace, securely held in your arms and ready to doze off against your chest. It probably wasn’t very comfortable for you, his bed was a better spot to snuggle up and sleep, but you didn’t ask for him to relocate with you. You kept him there, kept him close, and the sound of your heartbeat lulls him to sleep with your fingers gently scratching his scalp and your other hand rubbing his back. He tiredly considers that you’d likely been crammed into much more uncomfortable positions while caring for your nephew, but will do his best to remember to offer you some kind of massage or something in the future. 

In the morning he takes you into Gojo’s apartment. Still untouched, only a light layer of dust had collected that he’d be cleaning up later. Not once do you ask why the apartment was still vacant, or why Megumi kept everything in there - he’s sure you’d already come to a reason for that on your own and it was likely the correct one. Instead you ask him about Gojo; about the choices in decor, if they had any routines or traditions they participated in, favorite shows and how he cooked. Anything that came to mind, and Megumi answered each question without hesitation. Even some questions about Tsumiki and how she was as a sister; if you asked, he would answer while you walked around the living areas while avoiding the bedrooms as he’d requested. 

“Hey Megumi?” you comment after about an hour, looking up from a picture of Gojo and Shoko as teens to see him dusting around the coffee table. “Thank you for bringing me here, and trusting me with your love for Satoru and Tsumiki.”

On reflex he wants to deny that he loved Gojo, something he’d done a lot before his death, but instead he only nods before glancing down at the table. The succulent that was there would need to be replaced, probably the seventh Megumi has bought to keep the space exactly as it once was. And he realizes in that moment just why he’d brought you here - he loved you so much that he wanted you to know about his family. 

“Well, I figured it was time since we’d been together for a while. Family comes up, and you’d already mentioned yours.” The response has you nodding, putting the picture frame back and making sure that it looked exactly as it had before. “I love you, y’know?”

“Yeah, I figured,” you say softly, crossing the room to stand in front of him. “You’re kinda obvious, even though you try not to be.”

“It didn’t click until this morning, to be fair,” he defends, something that has you shaking your head for with a smile. 

“I love you too, dork.” You’re leaning up to kiss him, something chaste given the environment. “We’ll have to swap out some of the plants here. I think I can save a couple, though.”

“If you could try, I’d appreciate it. A couple of the palms are from when he was still alive and I’ve barely kept them alive.”

“Then I’ll do everything I can.” Your assurance earns another kiss from Megumi, his thanks whispered against your lips before you check your watch. “Gotta go pick up the kid, though. I know you’re going to dust a bit more, so the dinner invite is there if you want it. But, I’ll see you later, Megs,” you assure as you slide into your shoes, following that with the fact that you were going to get your keys from his apartment before heading out to get your nephew. 

Instead of picking up the duster, he follows behind you while assuring you that he could clean while you were at work and the kid was at school on Monday - the time with you two over the weekend was more important than cleaning to appease his ghosts. 

Two years later Megumi finds himself married. On the day you’d met him in the park, something small with his remaining friends who lived (Yuuji being the most excited to spin you around in your wedding dress) and the few people you’d kept in your circle. Yuuji also takes your nephew for the ten days you were away for your honeymoon in Malaysia, ten days that feel odd without the young boy asking questions about the various things he saw along the beach or on the little events you both went to. But you did spend more time than probably necessary looking through various gift shops holding up shirts and other trinkets to commemorate the trip and make sure there were plenty of good things for your nephew to get as gifts. They’d have to go back with him, teach him about what they’d learned from the locals and see the sights and different wildlife that weren’t in Japan. A fun family vacation, one of many he’d like to take you both on. 

He moves into a modest home with his little family, bigger than both of your apartments had been but nothing excessive. Enough space should you both choose to expand your family, but the only recent addition is a set of kittens that spend their days ruining the curtains and trying to sleep in his shoes. Satoru and Suguru were little chaos agents, but were the perfect additions to the family and that fact was consistently cemented when he saw them sleeping on either side of your nephew’s head every night.

Gojo’s palms live in your new home, a few of the pictures from his apartment living on the walls and the mantle. He’d finally felt ready to let go of the space that Gojo would never return to, taking a few afternoons with you, Yuuji, and Shoko to go through it all and make sure they got pieces of Gojo that they had also wanted. Yuuji, of course, takes the expensive lounge chair and a few pictures, but Shoko was very selective about the few photos she wanted and the lighters Gojo was consistently stealing from her and hoarding. Those pieces of Gojo that meant the most to Megumi lived in your home, everything else in a storage unit for Megumi to dig through when he thinks of something you’d like to see or your nephew would like to see. When he travels for work, he still buys two trinkets but the second goes to your nephew while he keeps the first - a new version of the tradition and repetition of the cycle. 

The festival season brings about his usual anxiety of people being around in large crowds to celebrate, too reminiscent of how they were led into the subway station like lambs to slaughter and butchered by curses. The flames of Sukuna’s technique flash through his mind, tension settling in his shoulders even as you grip his hand tighter while moving through the crowds. “We can go home, Megumi. I forgot today was-”

“No, we’re already out and he’s having fun. Go do what you need to do, we’ll be around.” The assurance is met with a concerned frown and he does his best to smile for you before kissing your forehead. He can understand why you don’t buy it, at this point he’d given you all of the details surrounding the Shibuya incident and after, but he needs you to relax and trust him - even if he is having a hard time relaxing. “Really, it’ll be fine. You’ll do your shopping, we’ll go get food, then we’ll get home to the cats. Easy plan.”

“Alright. I’ll be back in like twenty minutes,” you start, looking between your nephew and Megumi with a smile. “Be good, you two.”

“Best behavior.” They both salute to you, and Megumi feels warm at the way you laugh before walking away in your pretty sundress. The sun at your back made it look as if you were glowing, which to him you were. His light at the end of the tunnel, his wife that he never expected to have three years ago. But the sun at your back means the sun will be in his face, and the face of the nephew who broke his sunglasses this morning. 

“Here, put these on,” he says, squatting to be at eye level with the boy - his nephew - and places the round sunglasses he wore onto the little face in front of him. “Better?”

A nod, and Megumi gives a nod of his own before picking the boy up as he stands, lifting him to sit on his shoulders so he was less likely to lose the kid while you were trying to shop for a birthday present in private. The boy was almost getting too big for Megumi to hold on his shoulders like that as often as he did, but he’d do it as long as he could - just like Gojo always did. 

And he knows that this is what Gojo always wanted for him. A life outside of jujutsu sorcery to escape to when the woes of fighting curses became too strong, a family to take care of him just as he took care of them. Gojo always wanted him to feel loved and be comfortable showing love in return, and Megumi had found that in you and the kid sitting on his shoulders pointing out different vendors on the street. 

“You good, Megs?” you ask once you’re back with them, your hand sliding into his as his other hand reaches for the couple bags you’d gotten while you were gone.

“Perfect,” he assures, bending his knees a bit so you could meet him for a kiss. “I’m going to need some new sunglasses, though.” 

“I saw that and doubled back, there are some in the bag for you.” Once again you amaze him by how well you watch him even when he thinks you’re not. That must’ve been why you took so long to get back. “Thought you might want to try a different style, though.”

“Yeah, good idea.”

[lfghughes]

Heyy could you please do a blurb with trevor where him and his gf are at a party and some guy starts flirting with his gf and won't stop so trevor gets super protective and fights the guy please

a/n: promised some trevor things to fill in the hole of him being out injured right now. dont worry jack peeps i got you next.

warnings: violence mentioned

Summer was full of endless fun. There was work too but not as much work as when hockey season came around and your boyfriend who was fully committed to the sport was constantly either at games or other events for his team. Right now you were just grateful for the warm weather and all the free time to travel..

Tonight the both of you plus some of his friends went to some party but you lost sight of him about fifteen minutes ago when him and Jack went to go grab some more drinks while you stayed behind talking to some of your own friends. Your moment of fun came to a halt though when some random guy came up to you.

“Hey, hope you didn’t come with any of these guys because no way any of these losers would know what to do with a girl like you.” The guy said and you cringed at his words. “Actually I have a boyfriend, he’s getting me a drink and he does just fine with me.” You told him offering a small awkward smile as you hoped he’d go away.

“Well maybe I can show you how much better I am.” He told you and suddenly after you waited nearly twenty minutes for him, Trevor and Jack were finally back. “Hey man, move out of my way so I can get to my girl.” He warned the guy and you had a feeling he had heard the last few words. “And if I don’t?” The guy asked as uneasiness spread in your stomach.

You watched as Trevor handed his drink over to Jack who seemed to realize exactly what his best friend was going to do. Before you could even try to stop him, Trevors fist flew into the other guy and a fight ensued. You weren’t sure at what point it stopped but eventually Jack had put the drinks down and managed to pull Trevor off of him.

“We need to go.” Jack said to the both of you and you just nodded your head in shock. The car ride back home was quiet, Trevor was still running on anger and you were still upset about the whole thing. Meanwhile Jack was just good enough to read the room and know no one wanted to talk right now.

Once you got home you went straight up to your room, not really in the mood to talk and it was clear Trevor needed some space too. After a couple of hours Trevor showed up at the door “Are you mad at me?” He asked, his voice quiet and you could tell your answer would hurt him. “I’m not mad, I’m just I don’t know. I don’t like seeing you like that…you know outside of the game.”

You’ve seen him get upset before, you’ve seen him throw hands before but never outside of a game. He walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed and on instinct you moved so you could be in his arms. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin your night.” He whispered to you and you shook your head. “The other guy ruined my night not you. I just don’t want to see you like that again.”

“I’m sorry, I promise I’ll do better” He told you and you snuggled into him more. “Thank you for sticking up for me.” You whispered to him and a small smile spread on his lips. “Always.”

[catoperated]

At some point we’re gonna have to talk about how toxic websites like 4chan and Something Awful (rest in piss, Lowtax) influenced trans spaces online.

I only ever used SA back in the day, and it’s now mostly forgotten that “troon” came from a portmanteau of “trans goon” (goon being a member of something awful, not like a gooner… but, eh, it’s still apt), though it was always meant to be belittling.

And then there I was, a transmasc egg surrounded by transfemmes. I didn’t know how to express that I wanted what they had but different, cause I seriously didn’t know trans men existed back then. All I saw were transfemmes, and most of them were transmedicalists. I got called a transphobe when I said wearing a skirt shouldn’t be a required part of transitioning. I have since met many cool trans ladies who aren’t truscum, but the scars remain.

At the time I couldn’t fully articulate how uncomfortable I was with the idea of transitioning to the same old binary, because I also didn’t know GNC was a thing. So for a time I was suicidal because I had no idea of the options open to me. I’m not sure that reading Theory back then would have helped. Having read Theory now (both feminist and communist), I’ve come to the conclusion people lean on it way too much, take it way too literally, never considering that the things proposed have to be adapted to changing times and circumstances. It’s almost like evangelicals interpreting the Bible literally—to everyone’s detriment.

My point being, you can read anything, watch any YouTuber, but for fuck’s sake form your own opinions instead of just throwing books and videos at people like it’ll explain everything and also must be followed to the letter. It won’t, and it shouldn’t.

Yeah, I was also briefly suicidal over leftists dogpiling disability activists for daring to get groceries delivered or using plastic straws. Only other disabled people probably remember this, but it was perpetuated by that butter cat account, which was the most surreal fucking thing to watch unfold.

I’m just tired. Tired of self-proclaimed feminists failing to recognize the patriarchy is what makes us all suffer, including cis men, and that’s the real enemy. I know radfems are largely to blame for pushing the “all men bad” narrative again with the express purpose of dividing trans people, I’ve seen them cackling about what they get away with on accounts where they pretend to be trans. It’s sad people are making their work so easy for them.

I don’t hate or resent transwomen (I can’t remember if the space is preferred or not, but I’m sitting here sweating over it, afraid someone will call out my language when “troon” is already up there), but here I am right back at that awful feeling I had when trying to say skirts should not equal femininity. Fuck, I would probably be suicidal again if not for my partner, who is the best thing to ever happen in my life (love you, babe).

I don’t know how to word this better or more succinctly. My mind wanders a lot when writing. But it’s not just me, right? I see the schism forming and it’s bad for all of us, because the people who want us dead do not care how we present ourselves or how well we pass. We desperately need to support and uplift each other if we’re going to survive all the shit they keep throwing at us all in governments across the entire goddamn world.

So yeah, we need to look at how those websites poisoned the well, as it’s where that mentality of “if you’re not queer/trans in the proper way I deserve to call you a slur” mentality comes from. The pickme urge to go “I’m not like those cringe fags/trannies, I’m one of the cool ones,” too. To reiterate, the people who want us dead for existing do not care one way or the other.

Fuck, why am I worrying about how I word this? If people are gonna interpret this in bad faith there’s nothing I can do to stop them. I just wanted to get this off my zipper-tits—which I’m stealing from you fuckers who use it against transmascs. I got my dirty testosterone fingers all over it and it’s ruined now, sorry.