#tw for discussion of ace discourse or whatever

[jay-wasstuff]

Heyy all!! Here’s the fandoms & ships Im in + things to know:

DNI List - Please Read

➡️ open here. ⬅️ DNI blogs who interact will be blocked. If they haven't and you see 'em, please let me know.

Fandoms

Films: Hannibal TV • Star Wars (mainly filoniverse) • IWTV • Venom • Wednesday (Addams Family) • The Sandman • Young Royals • Heartbreak High • John Wick • LOTR • Knives out • Deadpool • Heaven's Official Blessing • Spiderverse • Good Omens • Mortal Kombat • DnDHAT • Fionna and Cake • FNAF • Ted Lasso • Smiling Friends • Dead Boy Detectives

Games: DnD • Dragon Age • Call of Duty (MW) • Ace Attorney • Mortal Kombat

Novels/Comics: The Case Files of Jeweller Richard • LOTR • Heaven's Official Blessing • Sherlock Holmes • The Sandman

Ships: gumlee/bubbline • louistat • dinluke • xedgin • wilmon • symbrock • wrightworth • aralas • dreamling • hannigram • bagginshield • spideypool • poolverine • johnlock • mystrade • bowuigi • richardxseigi (reigi) • gomezxmorticia • aziracrow • soapghost • johnxsantino • trackerxmarquis

What I post

I post my memes, thoughts, absolute gibberish and informative things on anything that currently has my attention, mostly films, games and novels. This blog is discourse free, jumpscare free, critical free, any type of negative content FREE!! If I see anything of the sort in my notes I'll block - and if I haven't, please lmk!

My tw/cw tags

I don’t post anything explicit but we all have different views on what is and isn't explicit, so filter out ‘tw suggestive’ and ‘tw swearing’ (i forget them sometimes, I'm sorry just lmk) as I be losing myself real quick and post random thirsty posts about fictional people and various monsters (yes you read that right, filter out ‘monsterfucker’ for that).

Credit and Sources

I always try to give credit and link my sources but sometimes the images I find are from various websites/socials and I'm not sure where or who its from. If you see anything that's yours without due credit/link or you want it taken down, please let me know by the dms.

Direct Messages, Ask Inbox

Open for whatever you want to slide in with, whether it’s to comment about the weather, discuss plot, give me book/film/game recs, ask me questions about my posts, look just whatever really idgaf at all. If you message and you're a blank blog? Blocked and reported.

Other Blogs!!

Reblog and other posts account: @jay-wasreblogging

[make-out]

i really very earnestly am trying to find resources to help me understand asexuality as a sexual identity with a rich and nuanced history since that is the way that modern asexuals seem to understand it, but the more i research the more i seem to find the contrary to be true. yes there is a rich and nuanced history of asexuality but as a political identity that very often is moralistic and divisive and also extremely heteronormative despite being sexually separatist or whatever.

i saw a post ages ago that directed me to read the asexual manifesto and now i’m really wondering if the op of that post actually read it at all. because it doesn’t make an appealing case for modern asexuality, not even remotely. it characterizes asexuality as the result of, first of all, having a shitload of sex. it also characterizes it as 100% a choice—a choice to be celibate or to restrict interpersonal relationships to physical contact and affection of a nonsexual nature. all of that is fine and cool except that sexuality as we understand it is not a choice, so that’s one strike. and also, the people writing this rhetoric were radfems who largely identified as straight women and who at many turns fought against lesbian feminist ideology and queer liberation in general.

i understand that asexuality has evolved to take a different form now, that it’s no longer viewed as a political identity but instead as a sexual one. i get that, obviously, i’m aware of the discourse, that’s why i’m doing this research and writing these thoughts down. but i’m having a really hard time seeing how something that originated as a highly moralistic and frankly puritanical political stance could evolve so quickly into something so completely separate from that. my basic thought about ace people is that i don’t give a shit if you don’t have sex/don’t want to have sex/don’t have a sex drive, i really don’t, it’s not my business and if you feel the need to form a community of like minded individuals so that you can discuss your personal struggles with uh, not having sex, that sounds fine to me, do that. but the second it crosses into moralistic boundaries, the second that a message of sexual supremacy starts to form, asexuality stops being a sexual identity and starts being a political one.

my desire to have cock in my ass is not a political identity. it’s a sexual one, one that i cannot opt out of or into, and one that could very well get me stabbed at a gas station in alabama. i’m not calling modern asexuality a choice—that would be a malformed thought with no real basis in anything because i haven’t done the research to support that. but i am saying that sexual supremacy of any kind, directed at homosexuals, is homophobic. and it’s existed for a very long time. it’s not special. it’s not new. it is actually so fuckign ancient like this discourse is biblical bro it’s just that now the call is coming from inside the house i guess

[ablednt]

Actually helpful advice for the kids on this hellsite

Once again tired of "don't make a carrd or tell people your triggers" posts going around literally telling kids it's Dangerous to set boundaries. So here's what I've learned in my teen years on how to stay safe in the hellscape that's the internet.

Identity

You don't have to link all your social media together but you can if you want to. Don't give out something that is more private (like discord account, Skype or zoom account, facebook, Snapchat etc.) publicly or to people who aren't familiar with yet though.

Use a nickname rather than your real name or birth name, an account and name change may unfortunately be necessary so if you want to keep a name safe or use it irl then don't attach it to public social media. This can be fun though! Go apeshit coming up with different aliases and names! Call yourself lizard if you want to!

The only thing you absolutely need to put somewhere on your account (or carrd) is that you're a minor. You don't have to give the exact age but I promise this is important because even if there's plenty of context clues that you're a minor if you don't indicate this somewhere clear and adults start treating you like shit you need to be able to point out that they're knowingly doing this to a minor. That has saved me from gross bullshit a lot. Yes, people should default to treating people who's ages they don't know as a minor to play it safe but the majority of people assume everyone is the same age as them so you need to make it clear you're not an adult.

Pronouns don't make you identifiable and anyone who acts like putting your pronouns in your bio is unsafe is probably transphobic lmao. You don't have to if you don't want to (and don't mind people not using/knowing your pronouns) but it's safe to put them there most of the time. (The only exception I can think of is if you're closeted and your parents may find your account but in that case you should probably stay closeted online to unless you feel safe/know they aren't likely to find your account.)

You don't have to list every privilege you have and you probably shouldn't but if you're white you probably should indicate this somewhere. This is to hold yourself accountable because yes even teenagers can be racist and underaged people of color also deserve to feel safe. If you're nonwhite and don't feel safe doing so you don't have to list your race or ethnicity.

If you're part of a system/plural or questioning you do NOT have to say your systems origins, if you have DID/OSDD, or list your headmates/alters. The system community has a lot of people in it (and singlets adjacent to parts of the community due to bullshit discourse groups welcoming them) who will target underaged systems to fakeclaim them or harass them etc. I suggest having everyone use aliases/nicknames on a system account and you only tell your origin to people you feel comfortable around and safe with. Your safety and privacy is more important than your trendy system carrd goals I promise!

You shouldn't really just list any disorders you have but it really does no harm to put marginalized identities you're proud of on a carrd or in your bio. You might get a shitty anon or two but I promise people aren't going to dox you if you say you're autistic on your carrd or something.

I personally wouldn't list any special interests that are particularly recognizable (popular media should be ok but more niche stuff may not be) or publicly share a kin list just because you never know if you'll want to switch up your identity online to feel safe and the more things are clearly tied to your current nickname and handle the harder it will be to do this. However if you feel safe doing so it's not the end of the world. Just be careful about it and don't feel pressured to give more info than you're comfortable giving.

You do NOT need to tell people your trauma in order to tell them your triggers. If you need something tagged with a tw you really should indicate this somewhere so people know to tag it (unless you intend to send every you're mutuals with an anon with what to tag which is also an option but may be difficult) but you shouldn't tell them your trauma or medical history to justify it. Your boundaries aren't up for debate and you have nothing to prove. You should only talk about your trauma if you feel safe doing so (and even then please don't give identifiable details like.names of people involved or specifics as that can cause serious problems.)

Boundaries & etiquette

DNIs are good! BYFs are good! Anyone who tells you that they're not good or useful is absolutely trying to disrespect your and other people's boundaries. You can and should make a DNI and list the people you don't want to interact with. (Generally it's better to say groups rather than specific people or names because it's easier to again not be recognized if you need to change accounts/aliases but you can do this if you have strong reasoning and absolutely have to to feel safe.)

DNIs (and also.trigger lists) don't have to all be bad things! You can put fandoms that make you uncomfortable, things that trigger you but aren't bad inherently, etc. on these lists. They're about helping you feel safe not having the hottest takes or being the most morally correct.

Some people you should put in your DNIs as a minor are proshippers/anti-antis and MAPs. Both of these groups have been proven time and time again to groom minors online so the earlier you get away from them the better.

Once you have your DNI please do be aggressive in reinforcing it! Block people who break your DNI, tell people who complain about your DNI to fuck off! Do not tolerate people trying to debate the boundaries You have set this is your corner of the internet to feel safe! They can go somewhere else! Being blocked by a kid on the internet is not the emotional blow abusers act like it is. You're not mean for having boundaries please internalize this and stand up for yourself!

If other people have a DNI you need to check that before following them this is for both your own safety and theirs. If you're unsure what something on someone's DNI means ask around to find out before following just in case.

Do NOT get involved in discourse! This doesn't mean you can't ever take part in or boost serious things. Discussing/calling out bigotry (racism, ableism, transphobia, etc.) isn't discourse. Sometimes callout posts for legitimately harmful people is necessary so that's not automatically bad. But I'm taking about the shit that's #discourse. Stay out of ace discourse. Stay away from syscourse. Don't debate with terfs or transmeds or shitty people. I know it seems like it'd be cathartic to win debates with shitty people, I know there's people who will try to bait you into the latest argument over which lgbt+ identities can say what slurs or whatever the fuck the pointless bad faith argument is, and I know you want to prove that your marginalized identity doesn't make you a bad person like bigots say it does. But as someone who's mental health was absolutely destroyed by discourse as a teen it's not worth it. By all means discuss issues as they arise, broaden your perspectives and horizons, etc. but don't engage knowingly in discourse it will save you so much trouble in the long run.

Try to avoid talking to adults 1x1 if you can avoid it! It's okay to dm with an adult you feel safe talking to sometimes and while it's certainly okay not to interact with adults at all if you don't feel.comfortable it's generally okay to do so. But if an adult is going out of their way to consistently talk to you in private needlessly that can be a red flag. If an adult tries to insinuate that they're the only adult around you can trust that's DEFINITELY a red flag. Basically talk to people in places you can easily involve others if needs be. If someone sends you a dm that makes you uncomfortable screenshot it in case you need to show someone etc.

Don't discuss NSFW things with adults, in spaces adults have easy access to (for example a discord server open to all ages), or even with other underaged people who haven't indicated they're comfortable with it. There's nothing inherently wrong with being aware of nsfw stuff or experiencing sexual attraction as a teenager but it's very important that you don't put yourself in situations that may be unsafe for you or others. Most good discord servers have rules against this for this exact reason. Now, to make it abundantly clear, if you did or do ever say something nsfw and an adult takes advantage of this or responds in a way that makes you uncomfortable this is NOT your fault! The responsibility falls on adults to act appropriately but it's still a good idea to keep youeself out of harms way.

That's basically it on a general level. Once again, posts telling you not to make DNIs or carrds or trigger lists (all used to set clear boundaries) are very suspect and either grossly misunderstand how these things work or are intentionally demonizing them in order to have more opportunity it excuse to do harm. Setting clear boundaries is good. Doing things that help you feel safe and respected is good. Just don't go and get involved in discourse or give out personal information or anything.

[homespork-review]

HOMESPORK ACT 5 ACT 1: Mobius Double Plusungood, Part 3

TW: """funny""" sexual and physical assault of a child by another child, extreme bullying, extreme ableism, a very brief discussion of shipping characters outside their canon sexuality.

CHEL: We get some implications of the part of troll culture we ended on last time when a slightly baffled-looking Nepeta, watching through the viewport, updates her SHIPPING WALL. Instead of hearts, some of the hypothetical pairings she’s painted are marked with diamonds. What this means will be explained shortly.

I can’t help but feel it’s slightly creepy to hypothetically matchmake your own friends, but I’m pretty sure the other trolls know at least that the shipping wall exists if not exactly which ships they’re in, and they do live in a society in which it’s stated later that mating is mandatory, so it would indeed be helpful to have at least emergency-doable matchmaking done well in advance and they might appreciate the help.

I’d like to take a moment to note a ship at the bottom row, left of centre; GA/Tavros. Hussie, on his Formspring, later said that GA was “obviously” a lesbian, or anyway was only interested in women, which doesn’t have a specific term for it in troll culture. It’s actually hard to tell going by what’s shown in canon, because she only displays specific interest in girls except for in a complicated case we’ll discuss later, but trolls are supposed to be bi-normative, plus it’s not like the male selection here is particularly inspiring, so, yeah, the evidence we actually see isn't conclusively "obvious". The fandom, knowing this, systematically harass anyone who even muses vaguely about the possibility of shipping her with a boy, even if they don't know about that Word of God. This is why I’m wondering whether the trolls knew about the shipping wall, because if they did, we can presume GA didn’t care. For the record, I’m sex-repulsed ace and have in fact written about.my own imaginary persona fucking (admittedly fucking an opposite sex clone of herself, it was a complicated injoke) and my reaction to someone else writing it would depend on context and reason, so I can imagine her reacting similarly, but not everyone would. A similar thing with a canonically gay male character explicitly on-screen not caring about hypothetical shipping of himself with girls comes up much later; he’s not a troll, but his upbringing was troll-influenced (long story).

BRIGHT: Harassing people over the ships they make content for always baffles me. It’s not like fanart/fanfic for a ship which contradicts canon has any effect on the canon, and playing around with character dynamics (often in a pornographic manner) is a major part of fanfic.

CHEL: On top of all this, gender and sexuality are really shaky concepts to even try to apply to a species which reproduces hermaphroditically. On this side of the fourth wall it’s obviously because Hussie is a not-very-reflective cisgender heterosexual man, and didn’t think about it any further than “girls wear skirts, right?” Plenty of people fanwank up possibilities for how it could happen on the other side. I think we may have to make a “What The Fuck Is Alternian Biology And Sociology” post or two separate from the sporking at the very end.

Discourse discussion over! Next page, we see some of the relevant terminology used in troll culture, though we still don’t get any explanation of what any of the words actually mean, which is a tad annoying for new readers. The context is a discussion between Karkat and Vriska about getting her into the game.

BRIGHT: Specifically, Karkat wants Vriska to get Tavros into the game, leading to this exchange…

CG: WHY DO YOU EVEN HATE HIM, IT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS. CG: IF ANYTHING YOU SHOULD PITY HIM. CG: ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU WERE THE ONE WHO PARALYZED HIM. AG: I know. I don't really understand it. AG: It's just a really special kind of h8! It never goes away and it doesn't make a lot of sense. CG: THIS IS KIND OF A WEIRD TIME TO BE CONFIDING IN ME ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS OF BLACK ROMANCE BUT OK. AG: Oh god, what? CG: I MEAN IF YOU'RE REALLY IMPLYING TAVROS IS YOUR KISMESIS I THINK YOU'RE BRAYING UP THE WRONG FROND NUB. CG: BOTH PARTIES HAVE TO HATE EACH OTHER EQUALLY, I MEAN LIKE TRUE HATE. CG: MAYBE YOUR FEELINGS COME SOMEWHAT CLOSE TO FITTING THE BILL BUT I DON'T THINK HE CAN HATE ANYONE, IT'S WEIRD, HE'S KIND OF BROKEN IN THE HEAD.

Finally, our long-awaited introduction to troll romance!

And the introduction is an effective one. We now know that there’s something called ‘black romance’, that it concerns hate, and that one’s black-romantic partner is a ‘kismesis’. The conversation also flows naturally and fits the characters having it, rather than being an awkward as-you-know infodump, although brace yourselves, there’s one of those coming up. Thirteen is about right for kids starting to have romantic feelings and being confused about it, not wanting to talk about it is pretty normal, and Karkat lecturing people at a good opportunity is absolutely in character.

Karkat goes on to lecture Vriska about the emotions involved in different sorts of romantic relationships, and wow, it really says a lot about troll culture…

CG: OK, MOST PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T HAD THEIR LOBE STEM CAUTERIZED ARE CAPABLE OF FEELING THE TWO PRIMARY EMOTIONS, HATE AND PITY. CG: PITY IS OF COURSE JUST THE TONED DOWN VERSION OF THE CENTRAL EMOTION, HATE. CG: AND ALL THE NUANCES OF PITY MANIFEST AS VARIOUS OTHER KINDS OF FEELINGS LIKE WHATEVER CHEMICAL REACTIONS TRIGGER MATING FONDNESS OR THE MYSTERIOUS FORCES THAT ARE BEHIND MOIRALLEGIANCE.

CHEL: It’s never really clear if this is just Karkat’s idea of it or if this is how trolls actually work biologically. Trolls do use the word “love” later on, so I always interpreted it as “pity” being a euphemistic term because “love” in such a warlike and oppressive culture could be exploited as a weakness. Fandom has played it with their love actually being based on a weird form of sympathy/seeing the other as needing protection, which is also plausible.

FAILURE ARTIST: I have played with the pity thing before but in retrospect Karkat is the only one who seems to see it that way. Maybe this is all his fake deep teenager view of romance.

BRIGHT: Vriska makes a performance of how bored she is, but Karkat’s on a roll.

CG: A WELL BALANCED PERSON IS IS GOING TO HAVE A GOOD DISTRIBUTION BETWEEN HATE AND THE VARIOUS PITY HUMORS. CG: HAVING A GOOD BALANCE KEEPS ALL THE EMOTIONS SHARPER, SEE I THINK THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. AG: Oh???????? AG: I hope you know I already wore out some good note-taking pens today. All the pens. AG: All of them. CG: SEE, MY HATE IS LIKE A FINELY TUNED INSTRUMENT BECAUSE I'M AWARE OF THESE PRINCIPLES. CG: I COULD HATE A HOLE IN PARADOX SPACE ITSELF, STRAIGHT THROUGH TO A NEW REALITY FRESH FOR THE HATING. AG: Hahahahahahahaha, you don't even know how much I'm laughing at this. CG: BUT SEE, YOU'RE TOO HEAVY ON THE HATE SIDE, OR AT LEAST YOU PRETEND TO BE WHICH IS MAYBE WORSE. AG: You aren't reading anything I say are you? You just want to talk and talk and talk. CG: AND YOU THINK YOU'RE HATING UP EVERYONE HARD WHEN YOU'RE REALLY JUST BURNING OUT THAT ENTIRE EMOTIONAL HEMISPHERE. CG: IT'S LIKE LUKEWARM HATE. PRETENDER'S HATE, WITH NO COUNTERPOINT AT ALL. CG: AS SUCH THERE'S NO REAL SUBSTANCE TO YOUR HATE, IT'S LIKE A CARDBOARD MOVIE PROP. CG: WHICH IS WHY YOUR BRAIN IS BROKEN, KIND OF LIKE TAVROS'S BUT ON THE OPPOSITE HEMISPHERE I GUESS. CG: OR MAYBE YOUR BROKEN BRAIN LED TO THE IMBALANCE IN THE FIRST PLACE, I DON'T KNOW. CG: WHATEVER THE CASE IS, YOU'RE KIND OF EMOTIONALLY SCREWED, SORRY TO SAY. CG: YOUR HATE'S TOO DULL FOR A PROPER KISMESIS, IN MY OPINION. CG: AND I DON'T SEE ANYONE CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL HONESTLY, UNLESS THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO WOULD ACTUALLY BOTHER PITYING YOU. CG: AND LANDING A MATESPRIT? HAHAHAHA! CG: SERIOUSLY, LIKE THAT WOULD EVEN INTEREST YOU. CG: BASICALLY ANY FEATURE OF YOUR EMOTIONAL PROFILE THAT USUALLY MAKES SOMEONE VIABLE IN THE REDROM DEPARTMENT MUST BE TOTALLY FRIED. CG: YOUR BLACKROM POTENTIAL'S PROBABLY TOAST TOO.

Whew.

So now we have ‘kismesis’, ‘moirail’, and ‘matesprit’ as terms for romantic partners, as well as the concepts of black romance, red romance, and ‘moirallegiance’ as the relationship one has with a moirail. Troll romance is not going to get any less confusing for a while.

If Karkat’s grasp of psychology strikes you as amateurish, there’s a reason for that: He gets all his knowledge from romance movies.

AG: Hey asshole, stop watching movies for girls.

I think that’s another strike against the ‘girls are the dangerous ones on Alternia’ argument. Romance movies, per this exchange, are both female-coded and seen as inferior -- Karkat defends his viewing choices by saying they’re INTRIGUING SOCIOLOGICALLY, but Vriska isn’t buying it.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 42 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 33

CHEL: I’m not sure an interest in the workings of romance should be a socially gendered thing in a society where, as it turns out, you have to have an acceptable romantic partner by a certain time or die. You’d think most kids would be trying as hard as they could to learn and put into practice everything they could about it, and you’d also think there’d be better information for them than romcoms.

BRIGHT: Has the mate-or-die part come up yet? I’m not sure when Hussie thought of it.

CHEL: I don’t know if he’d thought of it yet, but it does come up very soon.

BRIGHT: Karkat then moves on to the original reason he contacted Vriska -- he needs her and her mind powers in the game, because he’s just run into a double agent called Jack.

Over on the next panel, Karkat is still talking to Vriska, but he’s glancing back over his shoulder at Jack Noir. His hand is covered in blood, which keeps cycling through a range of colours. The blood, it transpires, is because Jack stabbed him. Karkat is amazingly calm about this.

CG: HE'S COOL, IT'S FINE I DON'T REALLY MIND THE STABBING, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING. CG: WELL OK I'M PRETTY SURE HE MEANT TO STAB ME. CG: BUT I KIND OF THINK THAT'S LIKE CG: THE WAY HE GREETS PEOPLE? AG: This game is so stupid. CG: IN ANY CASE I THINK HE'S PROBABLY ALL STABBED OUT.

This would be ridiculously chill even from someone who isn’t extremely cagey about his blood colour -- and it’s not that Karkat suddenly doesn’t care any more, because as soon as Vriska says she’ll ask Terezi or Jack what colour he’s bleeding, he tells her that he’s out of Terezi’s range, Jack is sworn to secrecy, and Sollux (who’s incommunicado) is the only one who knows how to make Trollian’s viewport feature work. (Given we saw how easy it is to use earlier, I’m surprised Vriska doesn’t try to figure it out herself.)

Over on the next panel, the viewer is now Jack, a few minutes prior to this conversation. Contrary to Karkat’s protestations, Jack stabs him because He's got a pretty sharp tongue and can't seem to keep it sheathed. He is curious when Karkat cares less about the wound and more about Jack seeing his blood colour, which is apparently some freakish mutation. Jack looks at his knife…

CHEL: While it’s not a realistic depiction of the colour, recall that this is the shade of red used in-comic to depict human blood. This reveal probably isn’t a surprise to anyone by now, if you’ve encountered fanart, and honestly it wasn’t a huge mindblowing revelation on my first read before I knew, but I do think it’s a clever little “aha, THAT’S why!” moment. Skilfully done.

It seems he's the only one of his kind with this mutant candy-red blood. An outcast. He thinks he was put on this planet covered in an ocean of his own blood to be taunted. Punished for something. Saddest story you ever heard. Got to do something to shut him up.

BRIGHT: Awww. That’s kind of sweet.

This little interchange gave rise to the ‘Stabdads’ fandom phenomenon, where Spades Slick is envisaged as Karkat’s father-figure. In Homestuck canon, it’s dubious how much affection Slick has for Karkat. He seems more irritated by him than anything else, but that’s about on par for how he treats the rest of the Midnight Crew. On the other hand, it clearly makes a massive impact on Karkat. We’ve seen how important blood colour is on Alternia and how insecure he is about his own; his sudden rush of fellow-feeling towards Jack is understandable, even if it does make him way too forgiving about having been stabbed.

CHEL: Karkat and Jack shake hands, and proceed to be in cahoots. Cahoooooooots. Doodling on the defaced parking ticket from earlier, they draft OPERATION REGISURP.

Your whole team executes the plan along the course of its journey, employing espionage, mind control tactics, political sabotage, vicious interrogations and cold blooded assassinations. Everyone does their part and you begin to learn the true meaning of teamwork, as well as this troll disease called friendship.

Yeah, it actually happening is skipped over with one paragraph, but that’s probably a good thing with all the complexity already going on, and we do hear more details about it. First, we’re reminded of the existence and functions of the Queens’ Rings, the magic rings the queens of Derse and Prospit have which give them traits and powers from whatever the players put in their sprites. The trolls have put their lusii in their sprites, except for Aradia, whose lusus died long ago, so she got in the sprite herself. The Queen could put up with getting bits and pieces from eleven hideous monsters (well, ten hideous monsters and one adowable little fairybull thing oh my gosh it’s cuuuute) tacked onto her, but what she absolutely won’t stand for is the other thing Aradia put in her sprite…

She could not stand bearing the visage of the most loathsome creature known to existence. So vile is its appearance, so contemptible its purpose, all depictions of the creature let alone members of its population are permanently banned from any jurisdiction in the reach of her agents. Those of its kind go by many names, and so does the reviled patron god they herald - THE GREAT DETESTATION, KING PONDSQUATTER, SPEAKER OF THE VAST JOKE, or most commonly, BILIOUS SLICK.

Recall that AR thought of the hieroglyphs in the Frog Temple as “illegal pictography”. We’ll find out later why the Black Queen has such a revulsion for frogs, it’s important. But the important part right now is that she took the ring off. At the time of planning it’s in the ROYAL VAULT.

We briefly see a moment in the future of the Black Queen wrapped in rags, just like the human sessions’ White Queen, wandering the desert as the BANISHED QUASIROYAL, and the caption notes the plan was a success.

However, Doc Scratch appears in the desert in front of her, and it’s noted she was given a new purpose. This, it seems, is the origin of Snowman.

FAILURE ARTIST: I would like if there was some canon Homestuck material expanding on this REGISURP plot.

BRIGHT: Same! It sounds really interesting. One example of Homestuck’s idiosyncratic pacing, I suppose -- we spend pages and pages on trivial alchimeter nonsense, but skip over something more meaty.

CHEL: The Red Team work on that, while the Blue Team battle their own session… or so they think. Yeah, I’m sure you’ve all already figured it out, but the trolls hadn’t just yet. They note that their prototypes are affecting the opposite team’s underlings, and the readers are shown Alternia’s two Frog Temples, one near Aradia’s home and the other near Kanaya’s, each with six pillars outside (one seems to have five, but the sixth is hidden behind the building). Superimposed on each other, the pillars make a full ring of twelve.

The truth was it had always been the same session all along. That your teams were not competing, but cooperating toward a common goal. In the more drawn out form of this adventure's narrative, figuring this out would have been a huge deal. We would have been completely blown away by this stunning revelation. Wow. Same session all along. Really? Huh.

This is what Aradia’s been so mysterious about. She knew. We’re provided with a handy diagram, in case we haven’t been able to keep up.

After watching the phrases MOBIUS DOUBLE and REACH AROUND toggle for a few minutes while in a sort of stupor, you finally snap out of it.

(I just noticed, the Blue Team are the Derse dreamers and the Red Team are the Prospit dreamers. Neat!)

The reader’s attention is drawn instead to the Aquarius and Pisces symbols in the top left, belonging to characters we haven’t met yet, and the narration promises we’ll learn about them soon. Drawing attention again to GA’s Virgo symbol, the narration muses about her.

It will probably be quite some time before you get to be her. It could very well be pages and pages and pages.

Naturally, we jump right back to her.

GA’s intro is long, so we’ll take it piece by piece.

Your name is KANAYA MARYAM.

The Sanskrit name for Virgo is “Kanya”, and it’s also the name of a town in Japan. “Maryam” is the Arabic version of “Mary”, as in Jesus’ mother. It may also be a reference to Marya Zaleska, the title character of the movie “Dracula’s Daughter”.

You are one of the few of your kind who can withstand the BLISTERING ALTERNIAN SUN, and perhaps the only who enjoys the feel of its rays. As such, you are one of the few of your kind who has taken a shining to LANDSCAPING. You have cultivated a lush oasis around your hive, and in particular, you have honed your craft through the art of TOPIARY, sculpting your trees to match the PUFFY ORACLES from your dreams. You have embraced the tool of this trade, which conveniently is the weapon of choice for those who would hunt the HEINOUS BROODS OF THE UNDEAD which crawl from the sand at sunrise to feast on the light and the living.

Couple things established here; trolls are not only nocturnal but actively harmed by their planet’s sun, and undead beings other than ghosts exist. Said traditional weapon for hunting them is a chainsaw, which we can see lying against her bookshelf, a reference to the Evil Dead movies.

It would be convenient if you actually hunted them, but it is of course far too dangerous, every bit as suicidal as attempting to poach the terrible MUSCLEBEASTS who roam at night. So you indulge in your bright fascination with the grim through literature. Just before the sun goes down and you join your flora in rest, you immerse yourself in tales of RAINBOW DRINKERS and SHADOW DROPPERS and FORBIDDEN PASSION.

Rainbow drinkers are, as discussed later on, troll vampires. I don’t think shadow droppers are ever expanded on, but they might be zombies or werebeasts. Troll goths, apparently, are the reverse of human goths, dressing in bright colours and staying up in the daytime, which makes sense for a species who can only safely go out at night.

You are one of the few of your kind with JADE GREEN BLOOD. As such you are one of the few who could be selected and raised by a VIRGIN MOTHER GRUB, an event so rare as to elude documented precedent. She would defend you from desert threats, and though her life would be short, in time you would assure her of progeny.

Recall that the Mother Grub is required for troll reproduction.

You are a SEAMSTRESS or a RAGRIPPER or a TREETRIMMER or a LUMBERJACK, whichever you care to be, and your unique hive is equipped with a great supply of advanced technology to accommodate your interests. The technology and indeed the hive itself were all recovered from the ruins nearby when you were very young. The seed of your hive was deployed on the volcanic rocks beneath the sand with the assistance of your lusus and her remarkable burrowing skills, and you have lived there happily together since. You know the ruins and the hive and everything here that is not sand and rock originated from the world of your dreams. You also know that one day you will visit this world while you are awake. That day is today.

Like Jade, Kanaya has been awake on Prospit for years, and the technology in question is Skaian in origin, so that’s how she knows what’s going on with the game.

Kanaya is prompted to equip her chainsaw, which promptly turns into a lipstick in a Problem Sleuth reference. Like Jade, she has a Wardrobifier, set to randomise, which suddenly turns her black shirt and red skirt into a red leaf-print dress. She takes out the lipstick.

You can choose between your trademark jade or black. Even though a troll's lips are naturally black. But they can always be blacker, and a lady with a true sense of style knows this.

She goes with green, her dress turns into a blue kimono, and she’s messaged by someone with a fuschia Pisces symbol. This person, named cuttlefishCuller, turns out to be rather excitable, greeting her in all caps and following it up with Glub glub glub glub glub!

BRIGHT: This conversation is pretty sweet, with some friendly joking about CC’s quirk (they stick hyphens in front of their capital Es) and mention of their Collapsing And Expanding Bladder Based Aquatic Vascular System. There’s another mention of moirails, with CC saying they’ll have to join the game late to keep an eye on theirs.

It also turns out both CC and Kanaya are having some premonitions of what’s to come! Kanaya is seeing visions in the clouds of Skaia, the same way Jade does, but CC hears whispers from a mysterious ‘she’ who needs her voice keeping down. It’s implied to be CC’s lusus, as both Kanaya and CC are aware their lusii are going to die soon.

Kanaya hopes to be with her lusus as she dies, but looks out of the window to find the Virgin Mother Grub has already passed away, apparently of natural causes.

CHEL: The Mother Grub was seen briefly before; it’s a moth-like creature with a huge fat body the size of a bus, with wings too small to ever lift it, horns the same shape as Kanaya’s, and a skull-like head with big lips. The skull on Terezi’s Doomsday Scale was, we can tell now, a Mother Grub, except quite a lot bigger - presumably a breeding Grub.

BRIGHT: Kanaya changes back into her original outfit, and goes down to live up to her end of the bargain… which entails slicing a hole in her lusus with her chainsaw and pulling out a round object covered in spikes the colour of trolls’ horns, called a Matriorb. Kanaya stores it in her sylladex; she’s using a CHASTITY MODUS, which locks each card away, and the key will serendipitously be discovered when it’s time for the card to be unlocked. These modii are getting more and more esoteric.

Kanaya proceeds to have a conversation with her own moirail, Vriska, which we already read earlier.

You then proceed to have the rest of this conversation we already read, bugging and fussing and meddling through the special and magical union one can only describe as being in moirallegiance with another. At least, you guess that's how you would describe it. Maybe. Troll romance sure is confusing!

Yes, yes it is. (Spoiler: It’s not that confusing once it’s explained.)

Kanaya doesn’t have long to dwell on the conversation, as she’s contacted by caligulasAquarium, someone with a violet Aquarius symbol who she doesn’t seem to think highly of. It rapidly becomes apparent why.

CA: kan make her talk to me do somethin GA: Who CA: your no good connivvin fuckin backstabbin girl crush thats wwho

CHEL: Trolls are supposed to come bi/pan as standard, so why does he need to specify “girl crush”? I wonder if Hussie hadn’t decided that yet when he wrote this part, but I’m not sure.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 34

CA’s gender hasn’t been revealed, but let’s not kid ourselves, we know from how he’s talking that he’s a dude. Nice Girls certainly exist but they don’t tend to get portrayed as so whiny in fiction, plus CC comes off as very girly, and that leaves us with six boy and six girl trolls. Balance and opposites and counterparts are a running theme throughout Homestuck. Not that there can’t be nonbinary characters, as some show up in Hiveswap; just that there would most likely have to be an even number of them, split evenly between the groups of players. Fine by me as a nonbinary person with a thing for balance and even numbers of my own.

Also, note that we’ve seen this guy, or at least his hand and foot, before. This is the litter-hater in the bowling shoes.

GA: Overstating Our Relationship Wont Make Me Feel Very Cooperative GA: Its Paler Red Than That Ok CA: pshhhhhh that is a fuckin laugh and you knoww it evveryone does CA: so help me out tell her to talk to me i think she blocked me you got to GA: Why Do I Got To GA: I Dont Got To And Every Time You Take My Help For Granted I Feel Like I Got To A Little Less CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing CA: you cant let a grudge go by you wwont stick your busy stem betwwixt so get wwith the program fussyfangs

BRIGHT: Oh hey, another troll romance term! ‘Auspisticing’ is the last of the lot, don’t worry.

CA: wwho givves a shit wwhy she blocked me or about my fuckin manners come on youvve got a wway wwith her CA: i figure if youre going to auspisticize any twwo brinesuckers wwho sneer at each other a funny wway you might as wwell make it official and be ours right GA: Your Black Solicitation Just Seems Really Indecent

Funny words aside, Hussie does a good job at laying down context for what auspisticism is here; we now know that it involves mediating between two parties who dislike each other and that it’s a form of black romance. Meshing worldbuilding naturally into the dialogue is something Homestuck does really well at times.

Anyway, CA is trying to get in contact with Vriska because he asked her to make something for him and now she’s blowing him off.

GA: What Is It CA: kan stupid wwhat do you think its a fuckin gizmo to bloww up the wworld or somethin CA: ok wwell not that obvviously CA: but somethin thatll kill all land dwwellers wwhat else wwould i be after GA: Can You Just For A Moment Entertain The Thoughts Of One Untouched By Megalomaniacal Derangement And Tell Me Why Id Want To Assist You With That CA: wwell CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

While CA is obviously a douche, there’s something funny about how over-the-top he is about it and how utterly oblivious he is to the idea that Kanaya might have a problem with a device that would kill all landdwellers, although the humour is inversely proportionate to how likely he is to pull it off.

CHEL: Maybe I’m strange, but I think he’s adorable. I get the impression of a small kid trying to puff himself up to adult size.

BRIGHT: There’s also more romance talk, and this next bit is one I find interesting:

CA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched to CA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworks CA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at once CA: you should read up on your history instead of poring through that godawwfull sunny rubbish

I’m going to take a step back from Homestuck itself for a moment and talk about kismessitude as it’s portrayed in fandom. People tend to envision it in a variety of ways -- some see it as a BDSM relationship, some as a way of pushing a rival to be better, some as just straight-up hate-sex -- but most depictions show it as something that only affects the two people involved.

Here, though? CA’s talking about kismessitude as something that’s potentially really damn dangerous, to other people besides those involved, and cites history as a backup -- implying it can really be that dangerous, and it’s not just a teenager’s flight of fancy. (Although, that said, CA is clearly using this to try and get Kanaya in a relationship with him, so how sincere he is is questionable.)

CHEL: Later on we do see a little bit of one of the historical cases he might have been citing. We’ll discuss it more then. Also, I do like him saying “sunny” instead of “gloomy”. Makes sense!

Kanaya tells CA none of this matters, and he sneers about the “purity of the bloodline”. That’s an… uncomfortable turn of phrase, especially since he’s speaking to someone not covered by the “purity” standard, but since it applies to aliens and it’s in a society where that’s hammered into its inhabitants it’s not a Problematykks issue. Kanaya tells him it still won’t matter because their race will be wiped out entirely, and his reaction is remarkably understated:

CA: huh CA: wwell ok HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 11

CA says he knows Kanaya doesn’t lie except to herself, surprisingly perceptive for one so puffed-up otherwise. CA might be smarter than he’s letting on? He asks if her clouds told her that; that was the reader’s assumption too, but she says no, she has a different source. Uh-oh. We know what the last source of information was, and it cost Vriska an arm and an eye-sevenfold. CA’s own clouds “hide nothin but misfortune and monstrosities”, so we can guess she’s Prospit and he’s Derse. He goes back to nagging her to tell Vriska to talk to him, and when she continues to refuse he poutily steps off.

CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that

Kanaya denies this, and CA says everyone knows, including Karkat.

GA: Its Unbelievable GA: Her Patience CA: wwhat CA: wwhoa wwait wwho GA: Never Mind CA: ok wwait did she talk to you today CA: wwhat did she say CA: or glub or wwhatevver

They’re talking about CC, if it wasn’t clear. Kanaya, in a callback to John’s comment to Terezi, facetiously tells him that she talked about Longing To Touch You Indiscretely and That Shes Basically In The Scarlet Throes For You. CA, flustered, picks up that she’s teasing him, and she tells him the truth, that CC’s just concerned as a moirail.

CA: if youre not savvvvy about howw you define yourself to people CA: you can just splash into the moirail zone before you knoww wwhich wways upwward

I’m going to comment on this attitude in a bit more detail when we get a clearer explanation of what moirallegiance actually is. CA leaves her with some arc words.

CA: being a kid and growwing up CA: its hard and nobody understands

Kanaya heads back to her room, planning to emphatically not meddle but help her friends, and consults her source; it’s fortunately not a Doc Scratch-related one at all. It is, in fact, Rose’s long-forgotten GameFAQ, saved on a server floating in the Furthest Ring, to which Prospit’s clouds directed her. I have to show you the panel for a moment though…

I’m sure there was a way we could see the screen without having it facing away from Kanaya who’s supposed to be reading it.

You can only assume this took place a long time ago. This race is likely ancient, preceding yours by millions of sweeps. Maybe billions! You like to try to imagine the adventures of these players. Were they successful in repopulating their race? Did they manage to protect their matriorb and hatch a new mother grub? Could they hold it together, or were they torn apart by the complex social dynamics, the matespritships and moirallegiences and auspisticisms and kismesissitudes that will surely plague your group along the way? You have little doubt they succeeded with flying colors.

Oh dear, dramatic irony. Kanaya fantasises about a troll version of Rose, thinking she must have been the leader of this supposedly long-ago group.

And yet they appear to have been the only of their kind to have risen to the challenge in a session stacked heavily against them.

Huh. So is this just because Kanaya can’t find more information, or are the four kids in fact the only humans who successfully got into the game? Picking four specifically white-coded kids to be the last of the human race due to supposedly their own competence is… not a good choice. And why the hell couldn’t other people succeed? This strikes me as more of the whole theme of “nobody matters except the people we’re focusing on”. A good lampshading of video game tropes, but in a literary story, that’s the opposite message to everything I’ve ever read, and it’s a creepy one.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 43 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 12 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 35

BRIGHT: I thiiiiiiiink it’s at least implied later on that there are other sessions going, it’s just that each session is a closed loop of players so we don’t see the others...although if that’s the case, does that mean Earth’s getting hit with meteors from multiple Skaias?

CHEL: That over with for the moment, we cut to Tavros’ house as you take your place as the PAGE OF BREATH in the LAND OF SAND AND ZEPHYR. Vriska, his server player, gets down to the business of building up his house towards the Gate…

… entirely out of staircases.

AT: i THINK THIS, iS, AT: pROBABLY MEANT TO ANTAGONIZE ME,

Okay, this probably makes me a bad person, but I’m crying with laughter at his expression and that line.

It’s more disability slapstick, but here the point of the joke comes off as being more that Vriska is a jerk and Tavros’ reaction is really understated than any reasonable person being supposed to assume Tavros is wrong for not being able to climb stairs. Emphasis on “comes off as”, unfortunately. I’m still gonna give a Problematykks point, and further experience with Hussie’s attitude to disability has soured the joke somewhat, even in just the next couple of pages.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 44

BRIGHT: Vriska tries to get Tavros to crawl up the stairs, first by telling him that he promised not to be boring anymore and then by saying that she’s trying to help him get stronger. She caps off the rant by demanding that he apologise.

AT: oKAY, AT: tHANKS, i GUESS, AT: bUT, AT: sORRY FOR WHAT, AG: For 8eing crippled, you ass! AT: yOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE, AT: fOR BEING PARALYZED, AG: Yes. AG: Say you're sorry. AT: i DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE, oR bORING, AT: bUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS, gIVEN, AT: uH, tHE CIRCUMSTANCES, AG: 8ullshit! AG: It's something called 8asic decency and civility you fudge8looded 8oor. AG: Now get down on your useless wo88ly knees and apologize. AT: nO, i DON'T WANT TO, AG: >::::O

Vriska, what the fuck.

Tavros is really great here. He’s obviously not comfortable fighting with Vriska, and repeatedly tries to redirect her into building him ramps instead of engaging. But, at the same time, he holds his ground and doesn’t let her push him around, and won’t let go of solid hard reality in the face of Vriska trying to emotionally manipulate him.

FAILURE ARTIST: And yet people still call him a wimp.

BRIGHT: Vriska retaliates, because of course she does, by grabbing his wheelchair with her cursor and shaking it about. If Hussie left it at that, everything would be unobjectionable, at least in terms of narrative voice. Instead, well…

Now she's done it. She has awoken the mighty inner fury that is... RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

CHEL: It just occurred to me to mention that the name Rufio comes from a character in the movie Hook, the leader of the Lost Boys after Peter Pan left, played by Dante Basco. Tavros’ mental image of him is a reference to that character.

FAILURE ARTIST: Dante Basco did read Homestuck, with hilarious results as we will see.

But unfortunately, Rufio is not real. He's imaginary. A fake. Like a made up friend, the way fairies are. You continue to be sad and alone.

BRIGHT: Eurgh.

Let me be clear: Tavros having no further recourse to deal with Vriska’s abuse beyond his visualised self-esteem is a problem for the character, but it’s not necessarily a narrative problem per se. Escapism is a thing. You could get a decent character arc out of Tavros learning better ways to deal with harassment he can’t escape. It is a narrative problem when the narrator mocks it and makes him out to be pathetic for even trying it.

CHEL: I’d consider this to be just Tavros’ own thought process, but, sadly, this kind of narrative sneering at him carries on throughout Tavros’ presence in the comic and the fandom seems to buy into it. Tavros gets a lot of hate for reasons which mostly boil down to him being a male abuse victim; there’s a feeling that he should “try harder” to fight back, despite him being physically disabled and a member of a caste out of sight beneath her on the social ladder and legally permitted to be killed by her on a whim. Might that count as a point for WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM, for Huss and the fandom not taking the social dynamics into account for why Tavros can’t defend himself?

BRIGHT: I don’t know if it’s fair to count against the fandom when we’re reviewing Homestuck proper, but we can definitely count against Hussie!

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 36

CHEL: It’s also notable that the common fandom interpretation of Tavros is as Hispanic-coded, at least partly due to his Spanish username, and of Vriska as white-coded. That’s probably not helping.

Since Hussie appears to expect us to agree with Vriska that this is funny, I’m adding another to these as well.

ALL THE LUCK: 2 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 45 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 3

BRIGHT: What’s weird about this whole mess is that Hussie doesn’t — yet — try to say that Tavros should be trying to get stronger; his disability is fully acknowledged. I feel like this kind of mockery is usually accompanied by the attitude that disabled people should just get over their disability, but Hussie’s clear that Tavros can’t. Which means he should do...what, exactly?

CHEL: Not have let Vriska disable him in the first place, presumably. Never mind that, you know, she has mind control powers so he didn’t really have a choice in that either. That is, however, an argument Vriska fans actually make. Apparently some of them actually blame him for not flying when she threw him off the cliff, which… well, unpowered flight is a thing that can happen in the comic but he certainly couldn’t do it then.

BRIGHT: ...Apparently I retain the capacity for surprise at how awful people can be. The fuck?

Back in the comic, Tavros fortunately does have one other means of recourse. Back in her hive, Vriska is suddenly prodded in the back with a flying toilet, courtesy of Kanaya.

GA: Just Presenting A Floating Reminder That Tavros Will Need Plenty Of Inclined Surfaces For His Ascent AG: That's silly. I made so many ramps, you wouldn't even 8elieve it. AG: I specifically decided I wanted to 8uild something ugly and 8oring. It is now the land of ramps and yawns. GA: Hes Reported Otherwise AG: That lousy snitch! May8e I should take his computer away so he can't go crying to fussyfangs anymore. GA: Maybe I Should Upend This Load Gaper Over Your Head AG: No, don't! GA: Im Still Learning The Interface GA: It Could Happen Accidentally At Any Moment AG: I'm only trying to help him. ::::( GA: Think Of Another Way To Help

CHEL: Did I mention Kanaya is my zodiac troll? I can only long to reach her heights of awesome. Of course the ability to levitate toilets would kinda help.

BRIGHT: Vriska heads down to her treasure vault and retrieves a pair of ROCKET SHOES. The captchalogue code for these is ‘PSHOOOES’, which amuses me greatly. Vriska sends the code to Tavros, who combines it with the code for his wheelchair to create a flying wheelchair. Now that is a good use of alchemising!

CHEL: Awww!

Tavros flies up to the Gate, and we cut back to him later on, leading an entourage of communed-with imps and ogres to move obstacles and help him solve puzzles. Using his skills well, I see! In another set of ruins the imps load jigsaw pieces of rock into a frog-shaped alcove,

Things, however, don’t continue to go so well, because Hussie hates this poor kid. I do not mean that facetiously. Statements he’s made elsewhere imply he has a hell of a lot of contempt for several of the characters he created, which I don’t understand at all. We’ll go into this after Act 7, but I get the sensation that the characters are merely tools to show off the complexity and meta references, which are the parts he really cares about.

BRIGHT: It’s not unknown for authors to dislike characters they wrote; the great Terry Pratchett reputedly hated his character Rincewind. The key difference is that in Pratchett’s case, the audience couldn’t tell. Hussie, on the other hand, tends to make his disdain pretty obvious, to the detriment of the story.

CHEL: That’s a point. Conan Doyle grew to hate Sherlock Holmes, too. He didn’t, however, set up situations solely to shit on Holmes in his books.

BRIGHT: I think that’s the key. I’ll forgive a multitude of failings as long as the author seems to be treating the characters fairly. That doesn’t mean that good things have to happen to them — plenty of bad things can happen and I’ll enjoy it — it just means that the author has to...respect how the character feels and would behave, I guess.

Of course, respect is Hussie’s antithesis, so.

Also, nothing so far has shown Vriska to be anything other than a (granted, entertaining) bully. I wasn’t around while Homestuck was updating, so I’m not sure when her fandom took off, but it has to be later than this, surely?

CHEL: I don’t know. I wasn’t around till about mid-Act 6.

What was I on about? Oh yes. Tavros is interrupted by Vriska again, who bitches him out for doing things the boring way and seeking the boring lore.

AG: The minds of your consorts are very soft and impressiona8le. AG: As easily manipul8ed as all those imps you've 8een 8ossing around. AG: I have picked apart their tiny little lizard 8rains and seen through all the smoke and mirrors of their riddles. AG: I have gotten to the truth they are guarding. The great 8ig mystery 8ehind this planet. And you know what it is, Tavros? AT: nO, AG: It's 8ullshit! AG: Meaningless, 8oring, fanciful 8ullshit wrapped in flowery poems to keep you guessing. AG: It all leads to one thing anyway, and that's what we should put our attention on. AG: Real gamers cut to the chase. They power through all the nonsense and go for the gold. AG: They cheat, Tavros. AG: It is time you learned to start cheating.

Interesting theory. Tavros thinks befriending his monsters instead of killing them is cheating, and Vriska grudgingly agrees but is annoyed he isn’t killing anything. She claims to have designed a better and more challenging quest for him; he asks after her own quest, and she says she has time because Kanaya’s busy.

AG: Which is just as well 8ecause I was starting to get nannied HARD. WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 37

Strange word choice for a species raised by animals, but okay. Vriska sends Tavros a map to the next Gate, and he sets off in his little rocket chair. Little does he know.

You proceed through what seems to be your second gate, into the LAND OF MAPS AND TREASURE. The THIEF OF LIGHT lies in wait.

In a callback to our last meeting of Breath and Light players, Tavros crashes through Vriska’s wall and is left hanging upside-down in the rocket chair from the large cobwebs across the room, while Vriska sleeps on a pile of broken eight-balls. Doesn’t look comfortable, but trolls rest in worse places later. Vriska wakes, and Tavros falls head-first onto the floor.

Here is where it gets incredibly uncomfortable, and we have to show it in detail to assign points properly and so that there’s no ambiguity about what’s happening, so if you have any sexual assault, ableism, underage, mind control, or victim-blaming triggers you may want to skip this part. No clothing is removed but it’s very unpleasant to read and the attitude toward it is worse. Seriously, this is Taklamakan Zoo levels of bad.

(This heading below’s not part of the comic, I just put it there so you can skip. The sequence ends with the piece of fanart of Kanaya looking at the sideways screen.)

~*THE ASSAULT STARTS HERE*~

Vriska sits up. She’s wearing a very short strappy white Tinkerbell dress with her sign on it, and what look like over-the-knee socks, a commonly fetishised style of clothing. I remind you these characters are supposed to be thirteen years old. The dress is also the same as the one worn by the fairy in the artwork on Tavros’ desktop background. I don’t know if Vriska had seen that or not.

FAILURE ARTIST:

To be fair she’s just in an actually-more-modest version of what Peter Pan’s sidekick/love interest wears and the socks come off as more dorky than sexy.

Oh my! It appears Pupa Pan himself has flown through your window while you were asleep. How exciting! Surely he is here to take you away on the adventure of a lifetime. He is more dreamy and heroic than you ever imagined. But what's this?? It seems the legendary Boy-Skylark has misplaced his shadow. He is looking EVERYWHERE for it, to no avail. He is having a devil of a time, what with being paralyzed from the waist down and all. He clearly needs your help.

CHEL: Vriska is prompted to Help Pupa find shadow, and approaches Tavros with a nasty-looking grin on her face, while he lies on the floor, gritting his teeth in noticeable pain.

Pupa! You truly are a silly goose. Your shadow has been trapped underneath your useless torso the whole time! Honestly, where else would it be you stupid sack of shit?

Charming. Vriska proceeds to kick him in the head, or at least nudge him with her foot, while he lies unresponsive.

Of course, the secret to reuniting with your shadow is to get up and walk around. And play and dance and frolic! Your shadow will surely join in your gaiety. But it appears Pupa has lost the use of his legs. There will be no frolicking in this young man's future. ::::( Unless...

Everyone knows that just a pinch of SPECIAL STARDUST along with a happy thought will allow any boy to get up and walk again. Everyone knows this because it is in the classic tale, PUPA PAN. Young Pupa flies through the window of a fairy girl's respiteblock, falls on the floor, and has trouble getting up like an enormous pansy. The fairy girl then helps him walk again, and in return, he teaches her to fly, even though she probably already knows how to fly. Because she's a fairy. They fly out of her window together, and have magical adventures for many sweeps thereafter. To be honest, you hardly know a damn thing about Pupa Pan. But you do not care.

Pupa remains as pathetic and useless as ever.

FAILURE ARTIST: The story just keeps mocking Tavros for being disabled.

CHEL: Not to mention for being interested in fairies. Because how dare a boy have a gender-nonstandard interest, or a young teenager enjoy whimsical escapism from an increasingly horrible and guaranteed-to-be-short life.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 39

I might be projecting because the fandom has made me loathe her, but it honestly comes off like Vriska dressed up like this in the first place less to seduce Tavros and more to make sure she thoroughly ruined his favourite thing to hurt him further, especially if the narration is supposed to be things she’s actually saying to him.

The stardust did nothing! Probably because it is just glittery powder with no magical properties whatsoever and is basically bullshit. Because in case it wasn't clear, magic isn't real, and neither are miracles. OR It could just be that Pupa has failed to have a happy thought! Your duty is clear. You will have to MAKE him have happy thoughts. Vriska: Make Pupa have happy thoughts.

He certainly doesn’t seem to be having happy thoughts now. Notice his expression, what we can see of it, looks terrified, he’s trembling, and let’s recall that he’s paralysed from the waist down. Even if he wasn’t, she’s of a far, far higher caste than him, legally permitted to do whatever she wants to him, including killing him if he tries to resist. It’s kind of gone back and forth on, but higher bloods are a few times stated to be a lot stronger than lower bloods, and if they work like humans, they’re in puberty right now, a time at which human girls tend to get taller and stronger sooner than boys. Again, it’s gone back and forth on, but a common interpretation is that female trolls are stronger than male trolls in general and/or have the social power advantage. Let’s also remember that, even if none of those factors apply, Vriska has mind control powers. There is no point here at which Tavros has the advantage, nothing he can use as leverage on her. She can do whatever the hell she wants, and she does.

BRIGHT: We’ve also been explicitly shown that Vriska has little to no respect for anyone else’s autonomy if she finds it inconvenient, and that Tavros is her favourite punching bag, and that his ability to stand up for himself when she gets going is extremely limited.

CHEL: Despite the odds stacked against him, Tavros struggles against the kiss forced on him, and when Vriska pushes him back, doesn’t respond with anything but a look of horror, though she appears to expect him to, as a flickering heart-spade with a question mark over it appears between them. I’m not sure whether that’s supposed to be the thought process of him or her or both.

Vriska hurls him onto the floor with some force...

… and activates her mind control, causing little hearts to light up in Tavros’ eyes.

BRIGHT: Vriska has used her mind-control powers on Tavros before, and when it happened she walked him off a cliff. There is basically no way that her doing it again isn’t going to be a traumatic experience for him, above and beyond the inherent horror of losing control over one’s body.

I’m inclined to think that forcibly altering his emotions is worse, though. Being paralysed was bad enough, but Tavros knows what happened and he knows how he feels about it. Making him fall in love with her is just…on one level, it’s a horrible assault on his autonomy as a person, and on another level, it’s tailor-made to make him doubt himself and believe the encounter was something he wanted.

FAILURE ARTIST: I hadn’t thought that he might now consider the encounter as consensual, which would explain his later reaction.

CHEL: Tavros paws at her legs, making kissy faces, and she looks vaguely concerned. Note the background still depicts wavy blue rays coming off her, showing her power is still active.

Looking defeated, she drops the control and dumps him on the floor again.

I’m not sure what she’s supposed to be thinking in this last panel. Is she feeling guilty? Is she disappointed that he didn’t like her under his own power? Has she just decided he’s too useless to be worth the effort? Any could be true.

BRIGHT: I read that as disappointment that even when he ‘liked’ her, he didn’t act the way she wanted. (And the way Tavros acted is kind of disturbing. ‘Mindlessly pawing at someone’ is not what I’d expect from him if he was legitimately attracted to someone.)

FAILURE ARTIST: The common interpretation these days was she was realizing she wasn’t into boys which okay that’s good for her but she should feel more bad about molesting him.

CHEL: That also makes no sense, because she shows interest in multiple boys later.

I’m also not entirely sure if Vriska had the intention of actually raping Tavros here (in the standard way, I mean, as one could argue that mind control is a form of rape), or just making out with him. The fact that she dressed up in vaguely fetishy clothing isn’t making it look good, though. Yes, she’s very young, but traumatised kids in particular have been known to lash out sexually like that. It’s a way of reasserting personal power, and I imagine it would be more prevalent in a society with no sapient adult supervision. While there are mitigating circumstances involved in their social situation and Vriska not really having ever had a chance to learn better, that doesn’t make this not a horrible thing to do, or not traumatising for Tavros.

BRIGHT: The clothing could potentially be down to Vriska wanting to look ‘adult’ without fully understanding why it looks adult. That does come up sometimes with teens — they want to experiment with clothing because that’s how adults dress, not because they want to look sexy, or they might dress a certain way for dates because that’s the social model they have for How Dates Work.

And if I read it like that, this basically looks like Vriska having the date equivalent of a dolls’ tea party. Which says volumes about how she views Tavros’s autonomy.

CHEL: Good point. Though honestly it would say volumes about same either way!

BRIGHT: I said earlier that Vriska is better than Equius at recognising when other people’s desires conflict with hers, and she is, but that doesn’t mean she respects those differences. She just recognises that they’re there, and overrides them. This is a prime example of Vriska viewing Tavros as something between a chew-toy and a prop. First she kicks him around and terrifies him, then she expects him to be able to get over those emotions at the drop of a hat and respond to her advances — and, moreover, she wants him to respond in a certain way, which Tavros has zero way of knowing. This is the first time she’s shown that sort of interest in him, unless her earlier behaviour was the Alternian equivalent of pigtail-pulling.

...I think maybe that was in fact Alternian pigtail-pulling. Or at least Vriska’s version of pigtail-pulling.

CHEL: That’ll actually make more sense, once we explain what the spade symbol means.

Okay, how many counts does this cover?

ALL THE LUCK: 12 ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 31 CALL CPA PLEASE: 26 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 55 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 13

It also occurred to me during this sequence to think again about how Karkat contemptuously swears at and hangs up the phone on the injured Tavros. This, at first glance, seems to be very much at odds with the “cranky but caring” impression we’re supposed to have of Karkat… but it fits precisely with Hussie’s opinion of Tavros and how pathetic he is for allowing a much more powerful person to permanently disable him. I know at the moment it looks like I’m not separating the character from the author, but it’ll become clear as we go that that is what he thinks.

IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 14

Why didn’t we start a FUCK YOU, HUSSIE count?

BRIGHT: It would have ended up longer than all the other counts combined.

CHEL: The actual assault is over now, but there’s one more picture of it. The ramifications must continue to be discussed, so tread cautiously. The actual act is over now, though.

Said ramifications come pretty quickly. Kanaya, having dealt with getting herself into the game and prototyped her own lususprite, decides to check on Vriska.

Ideally she has not gotten herself into too much trouble. And ideally the dramatic irony has not gotten so thick you could draw a dotted line on it with a tube of lipstick and cut it in half with a chainsaw.

Of course, she sees the exact moment Vriska kisses Tavros.

(Fanart source has now been deleted, sadly.)

~*THE ASSAULT ENDS HERE*~

Humorous art aside over, let’s watch Kanaya’s reaction in more detail. She angrily looks at a copy of the Tinkerbell dress, which she presumably sent the alchemiter code for rather than the actual item to Vriska, hence why she still has it.

So THAT'S why she had you make this dress for her??? And you just went along with it like a sucker. Argh, you are such an IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like Karkat, Kanaya is presented as the caring one, the protective one. The “mom friend” of the group. And yet, she looks at this, in which Tavros is clearly frightened and struggling, and her reaction is to be mad that Vriska didn’t want to wear the dress for a date with her. I’m not sure whether this says more about Hussie’s opinion of Tavros or the social system of Alternia or both, but it certainly says a lot.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 56 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 13 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 15

BRIGHT: Kanaya has had to corral Vriska on Tavros’s behalf already! Possibly more than once! She has all the information to realise that this is abusive, even leaving aside Tavros’s reaction! Sure, teens can be self-centred, but even so this is egregious.

CHEL: Kanaya’s Grubsprite comforts her and she throws the dress out the window.

Being a kid and growing up. It's hard and nobody understands.

Yes, I’m sure Tavros thinks so too.

Charles: "I know Sir can be prickly, but you have to understand he had a very terrible childhood."

Klaus: "I understand. I'm having a very terrible childhood right now."

-A Series of Unfortunate Events

[romolite]

*Important FAQ*

Aka questions that pertain to what I usually post about or stuff I don’t like getting asks about but continue to get asks about regardless.

[Insert any invasive question about my ethnicity/race]

I’m Ghanaian American. My parents were born in Ghana and I was born here in the US. I’ve seen it more on twitter and tumblr, but Black Africans don’t like me because I’m American, and black Americans don’t like me because I’m African. So I’m stuck in the middle lmao. I’m what you’d consider a First-Generation African, my parents are Continental Africans, and if I have children, they will be considered Generational African Americans.

First Generation African: A black person born in the US to parents who were born in Africa

Generational African American: A black person born in the US to US-born black parent(s)

Continental African: A black person born in Africa to parents who were also born in Africa

Non is just a prefix, black people don’t have a monopoly on the term! I suppose you think nonbinary people are racist huh?

Yeah sure it wasnt coined by black people but the context it’s currently used as was predominantly used by black people. ALL people who are not black benefit from and contribute to antiblackness, even if they are marginalized themselves. That kind of dynamic doesnt exist in other contexts (unless we’re talking about transfem + transmisogyny, but that’s something you’d have to talk to someone who is transfem about. Plus they have their own word for  “non-transfem”). Using it in contexts outside of antiblackness is appropriative (Yall are annoying as fuck with the “non-aspec” “non-lesbian”(this term also has anti-bi roots btw) “non-bi” shit etc, stop it. You also can’t complain about the “replacement terms” lumping yall with oppressors when “non-x” does the exact same thing you’re so worried about. “Cis” puts cis gays with cis hets, cis disabled people with cis abled people, cis white people with cis poc, I could go on.) 

Plus we’re talking about marginalized groups here. Black people are a marginalized group. Binary people as a whole are not so the term nonbinary isn’t appropriate at all.  I dont take issue with terms like “nonamerican” or “nonwhite” because (obviously) whites + americans as a whole aren’t oppressed for being white or american.

Basically using "non-x” in contexts to talk about oppression bad, everything else good.

Follow up: If we can’t use non-[marginalized group], what can we use instead?

There are other words to describe the people you’re talking about

non-transfem- TME

non-LGBT- cishet, or people who aren’t LGBT

non-trans - cis

Black people don’t have a monopoly on the acronym nb! I’ll call myself nb if I want to!

At this point I dont really care, go on your antiblack crusade elsewhere and out of my inbox, I’m always gonna mean nonblack when I use the acronym nb. 

And yes, you’re antiblack as fuck if you think black people telling you “nb” stands for “nonblack” is the same as exclusionists claiming “aspec” is for autistic people.

Is x AAVE?

I have a tag dedicated to what is and is not aave and how harmful it is for nonblacks to use aave given its history. I know some things overlap with southern culture but others are specifically for black people. A lot of “stan twitter” language/slang is just repackaged AAVE. No, I can’t tell you how to stop using AAVE. Don’t tell me you’re going to try to stop using AAVE, I don’t want to hear it.

Why don’t you like the n-word being compared to LGBT slurs?

Race and Sexuality/Gender aren’t comparable topics because each deals with a different history of oppression. I don’t care about slur discourse that much because I don’t even use/reclaim any myself except the n-word.

I have a problem with nonblack LGBT people co-opting black culture and struggle(like they always do), especially for trivial online discourse.

And to be honest it goes deeper than slur discourse. Every other day someone is weaponizing the oppression of black trans women, or comparing “cishet aces/aros” in the LGBT community to white/nonblack people invading black spaces (you know, something that ACTUALLY takes resources away from the people who need it, see the cultural appropriation of Black African and Blac American culture in literally any nonblack community while black people get demonized for said culture), or tokenizing their black friends to get away with something blatantly racist. And that’s not even getting into how a lot of gay slang/stan culture is just repurposed AAVE/black culture.

And I’m not gonna lie, I’ve seen this more with exclusionist accounts than inclus accounts, but it’s still not excusable for inclus to do that either. We get erased as black gay/trans/queer/aspec people up until it’s time for discourse accounts to bring us up to one-up each other

Can you give me advice on x?

Most likely not, because I’m not an expert or an advice blog. I’ll try, but don't take my word for it. I’m also tme, able-bodied, not Jewish, singlet, etc, so I’m not able to accurately answer questions about transmisogyny, (physical?) ableism, antisemitism, “sycourse”, etc.

I might be able to give advice on school-related stuff since I just graduated high school, but remember that students are not a monolith, and what worked for me may not work for someone else.

Can I follow if I’m nonblack/a minor/cishet?

Nonblack and/or cishet can follow but watch your step, minors blacklist the #minors dni tag before following

Why do you hate Ao3?

*long sigh*

I don't, I have a problem with the fact that it allows racist and (frankly voyeuristic) pedophilic/abusive/incestuous content to exist on its platform. It’s a good concept overall, but the devs are complicit in allowing “underage” and “noncon/dubcon” fics on their platform.

And there's the fact that they somehow need donations every year despite exceeding their goal several times over each year?

What’s wrong with Hazbin Hotel/The Ships/Vivziepop?

[WIP, as I have to go into extensive detail about this and I currently don’t have the energy for it]

TLDR: Viv made a half-assed apology for supporting racists (one of whom did blackface [yes the mask was used to do blackface shut up] to mock black activist) and drawing gross content. Her current projects including Hazbin Hotel are full of anti-gay/trans/aspec (Angel Dust, Vaggie, Alastor), antisemetic (Mimzy), and racist (Vaggie again, that yellow cyclops character that I’ve forgotten the name of) content under the guise of humor. If you’re into that shit, whatever, just don’t follow me and don’t whine when I make posts criticizing it.

What’s wrong with Hamilton?

Aside from the fact that it’s very obviously glorifying slave owners and made people worldwide believe the founding fathers were good people, LMM, the creator, is nonblack. This isn't his story to tell at all. 

Can you tag x?

I have a list of things I usually tag because they come upon this blog a lot. I cannot do catch all tags, as I have way too many followers for that. The closest thing to that is the “ask to tag” tag when there’s something potentially triggering but I’m not sure what it is. Everything is tagged as “x tw”. If something is extremely triggering, I’ll tag it as “major tw”

Do you tag slurs?

I tag slurs I’m not able to reclaim at all (i.e., d slur, f slur, t slur) or slurs I can reclaim but are being used as a slurs. I don’t tag the n-word, as I reclaim that one. I always tag the r slur

Can I message you about something/someone?

Unless you’re a mutual, most likely no. My DMs are only open to mutuals.

Do you want to be mutuals?

I don’t usually follow back people who follow me, especially if you’re under 16 or post things I’m not interested in.

Why is it important to have byf or about?

1) So I know gross people aren’t following me. This is not up for discussion

2) So I know someone’s not speaking out of their lane, which tends to happen a lot. (i.e, someone refusing to disclose that they are tme when discussing transmisogyny, someone not having their race listed when discussing racism)

3) Some people don’t want to interact with people under 18 or over like 30 or something.

Yeah, yeah, people aren’t entitled to personal information and all that crap but I have a serious problem with people speaking on topics from a place of privilege. Not to say they can’t talk about those things, just perhaps add a disclaimer that you’re privileged when talking about these things and be open to criticism, and NOT blocking people of the said marginalized group when they tell you something you’ve said was problematic.

I also have a problem with people who are intentionally vague about their age. There’s a difference between interacting with someone who’s 20 and someone who’s 29. I don’t want to say it’s the opposite for minors but at the same time there’s a difference for saying something racist at 13 and doing so at 17, and keeping your age vague makes it harder to determine how to deal with something like that. (Not that 13-year-olds shouldn’t know better, it’s just I don’t feel whole ass callout posts and receipt blogs are necessary for someone of that age).

Also anyone under 16, I can't stop you from following, but keep your interaction limited, please. This isnt an 18+ blog but I do rb suggestive jokes from time to time

I sent you an ask and you never answered it!

It’s likely that

I never got it

You were blocked

I’ve already answered this or it’s been answered in my faq

It’s a random positivity ask (which I appreciate but not sure how to respond to those)

You were rude in your ask and I didn’t feel like answering

I forgot until it was too late, which happens when my inbox gets a lot of asks at a time.

You sent it to the wrong blog (I.e, sending asks about my ocs to this blog instead of @ochood )

Hey, the op is [insert post] is [someone on my dni]! I usually double-check myself, just to be sure.

Have you heard about [someone who is mutuals with someone I’m loosely connected with]?

Most likely, no. And unless they’re an immediate danger to someone or they’ve got my name in their mouth, I don’t care.

Do you know who [x person/group/thing] is?Most likely no. Not to sound like a hipster but I don't usually keep up to date with trends. If I do hear about something, it’s most likely from twitter or Instagram.

Why am I blocked? Check here.

Why do you continuously move mains/change URLs/update themes?

I’m inconsistent. And sometimes there are posts on my blog that I no longer stand by.

Can I tag you in posts I think I’d like?Of course! 

[lianors]

FOURTH CHALLENGE  — character personality tests for lianor montagu: (4/12)

wc: 1,592 / points earned (thus far): 20

tw: light mention of abusive parental relationship; sexuality discourse (with mentions of: religion, homophobia, internalized misogyny and traditional gender roles); a ridiculous shitload of word vomiting without proofread yike !

1 — creepiest thing about you

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: you are a disturbing control freak — caring for people and things does not work the way you think it does. you are so invested in making sure that everything around you is perfect that instead of showing you care, you plan and control without asking for any input (which, of course, you justify by telling yourself that you aren’t burdening anyone else with extra work). you call this “dedication,” but it’s not - it’s needing personal control so badly that you’ve confused it for real connection — which is not really a great quality in a friend, but a very helpful quality in an aspiring serial killer.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: i remember when this challenge first came out -- lmao why am i such a sloth -- i wrote an intricate, awed response at this result, but my computer turned off on itself so i guess i gotta content with this whatever lmao.

anyhow, incrediblé. i believe i have touched on the controlling nature lianor has in her -- it is born from her own mother’s, how the woman had wanted her daughter to be a puppet from a tender age; not to displease beatriz, lia was to assure just that. she easily became a sort of dominating figure in the welsh nursery, gently advising and guiding the royal kids to do her way, which is the right way. unlike her mother, she knew honey would catch more flies than vinegar (a mantra she tries to live by whenever ugly, awfully humane sentiments rush through her) and, thus, lianor continues pulling strings quietly, with a caress there, a gentle word here. 

she grows impatient and vexed as her powers begin to fade on people, and now that she’s older, she more actively struggles against being controlled by others, though she is wise enough to know that, as a woman, in many situations she just will not have control and she must bow her head and follow. still, she tries to manipulate the outcome to favor her in some way, even if it is a minuscule silver lining she clings to in order to maintain her sanity and her illusion of power.

2 — four temperaments

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: your temperament is phlegmatic (15) — the phlegmatic temperament is fundamentally relaxed and quiet, ranging from warmly attentive to lazily sluggish. phlegmatics tend to be content with themselves and are kind. they are accepting and affectionate. they may be receptive and shy and often prefer stability to uncertainty and change. they are consistent, relaxed, calm, rational, curious, and observant, qualities that make them good administrators. they can also be passive-aggressive.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: let me just say, i took this test on my first week portraying lia and i got a tie between sanguine and melancholic -- who is lying then?? are you telling me i’ve grown her enough for that to change??? fight me!! but hey at least sanguine and melancholic tied again, only two points behind phlegmatic so!!!

dumbassery aside, i guess this makes sense. as i usually take most of these tests as i am building my muse, i base their behavior on these results as much as the muse that flows through me on the day i am writing, but i think it’s silly to deny this result just for the sake of being a hater -- especially when the phlegmatic result does fit her: lianor is not particularly lazy, as her anxiety and fear of becoming useless makes that an inability, but if she does allow herself a time off, there is little she would really want to do other than partaking in that noble girl lying on a ottoman couch fantasy! 

more importantly, she is definitely on the quiet side, and kindness and warmth are traits she intends to display and, though i haven’t said it outright, i believe it can be assumed rightfully so that she is a good administrator, with a good head for finances and overall stability over risk.

3 — tea type

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: chamomile tea — you are a warm blanket in the form of a human. you’re welcoming and comforting, and loved ones know they can turn to you when they need a hug or a soothing word. you appreciate the cozy things in life, like wrapping up in a blanket and listening to the rain. in a world full aggression, competition and noise, you believe there’s bravery in being soft.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: reading this blurb makes me feel so uwu, in a very romantic way i imagined when i first wrote lianor (if you ignore how big of an angst whore i am lmao), so sure, i will take it. lia intends to be this sort of safe, cozy harbor for her loved ones, where they all can forget of the harsh realities of ruling -- though she found herself quite able to do so before, she becomes more cynical, and fearful this ability will become an impossibility soon enough (which in return makes her despise those she judge that are to blame for this demystification of her idyllic world).

4 — sexuality

𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖚𝖑𝖙𝖘: for 40% you are heterossexual. this means that you are attracted only to the opposite sex. this is the most accepted and ‘normal’ sexuality, so don’t worry about fitting in with sexuality -- you will be fine.

you could also get this result:

for 30% you are bisexual. this means that you are attracted to both sexes. this sexuality is very broad -- you can love whomever you want. in reality, both boys and girls. it’s also fairly accepted, as you are both straight and gay.

𝖆𝖈𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖞: as someone with about 5 scorpios in my zodiac map, i have no qualms about discussing sex and sexuality in any way, so this is going to be an interesting ride. as always, i thought i should discuss character origins, as lianor really has bloomed ever since i began planning her, to as she was actually played. so, originally, she was as straight as a board -- as someone who has had primarily one romantic and sexual connection, she remains constant with her affections and desires, which are invested on a cismale, as it should be expected for a pious noblewoman as she is. thus, i insisted she was a hetero for quite a bit, only for her to come at me and make me proud with just a huge amount of gay -- god i love one (1) sapphic babe! because, well, i envisioned her relationship with the princess of england as one of sisterly love, but because there was a sapphic route me and the princess’ former player went by, i am interested in discussing that again with her player (who shall hopefully be here soon). 

lia enjoys women -- she thinks they are gorgeous, strong beings, and she also envies them, well rooted in the environment she is at. the fateful night she did engage in intercourse with one, she powered through with mild distaste, making her purpose to appeal for the male gaze, to prove to her male partner she was not just another whore he would take to his bed and forget the next morning. she claims kissing women have become a boring affair, that she has tired of pretending and would rather go for the real thing -- a man, in which she would be expected to conceive with -- but everything she speaks must be taken with a grain of salt, since this is the 15th century and even if there is no penis, so there is no sodomy, a love for a woman that is something more than fraternal is wrong, for a woman is made for a man, and she believes she has already found her match.

this single sexual encounter and her insistence in telling herself she is disgusted by homosexuality rings to me not only of religious-infused prejudice, but also of a notion many claim secondary: the ace aspect. being a literal assexual definitely does not work for lianor, who has fire running in her veins and is not at all against asking for her earthly desires to be quenched by the right man -- but demisexuality’s definition interest me a lot; demisexuals require a good amount of bonding to be able to enjoy the sexual act -- they may do it anyways, as i know people in real life to have done and as lia does in her marital bed, but enjoying it is a whole other thing. thus, it makes sense she could not find sexual joy in a random encounter that was fashioned more to please her partner than herself. when she did think of a woman she had a deep connection with -- her dearest french penpal -- though there was an immense shame, lia found no difficulty in enjoying herself.

however, again, this should all remain entirely circumstantial due to the mentality of the century; she would rather not strain from what is normal, and resign herself to her feminine position, in which she should please her man and bear his children, regardless of her own pleasure in the matter. female friendships should remain just that, and otherwise she would seek to distance herself from the personification of sin for her own sake. to go through with modern, anachronistic notions would strip the verse of what it is and instead would make me speak of the bi icon lianor beauchamp that was born in the 1990s -- and that is a whole other talk.

[blazc-ignitixn]

Rules

1. This blog is:

Semi-Selective: Everyone is welcome to follow, however I might be a bit choosy about follows back (it's not you, I promise, just me being careful). I'd rather RP with mutuals (easier for me to keep track of replies, nothing more), though IM and Inbox are open for anyone, so feel free to drop by.

Multiship: I’m shipping trash and open to any sort of relationship, from platonic to romantic. I'm biased towards Touya x Hawks and Touya x Tomura, but I'm up to give any ship a try as long as there isn't a too big age gap (no more than 5-6 years) and the younger half of the ship is at least 18-20 (16 and no older than 17 in the Hero Student Verse) , so ask away (no, seriously, I work better knowing if you want to ship in advance, shipping with chemistry is all good but don't be afraid to ask me to ship straight away, I love planning a ship). Respect Touya's sexuality (homosexual) and in the off-chance I say no to a ship, DO NOT try and force it; I can guarantee I won't do the same. Pre-established (platonic) relationships are okay too (meaning Touya met them as a student or sidekick and is already familiar with them as a pro hero), if there's a good base to it, though it'll depend on the muse (Touya isn't exactly the social/trustful type). Absoutely no shipping Touya with any of the UA students and people who are minors in canon.

Multiverse: Interactions with different muses are to be considered to take place in a different verse unless discussed between muns. Same goes for shipping, so there will be no cheating involved (it’s a big no-no for me and makes me really uncomfortable, so don’t even ask).

Multimuse-Friendly: If you have a multimuse blog, feel free to interact with me, just make sure to specify which one of your muses you want to use, especially if we've just started interacting.

Sideblog-Friendly: I'm perfectly alright RPing with sideblogs; you can reblog my promo (tag This Is Our Call [Self Promo]) so I know where to find you, just please send me a message / IM from your main blog if I follow you so I know it's you.

OC-Friendly: Pretty self-explanatory, if your muse is an OC and you want to interact, you’ll be more than welcome. No Mary Sues or Gary Stus though, please (I had a bad experience in this regard). Also, I'd rather if you had a decent bio page so I know as much as I can about your OC, and I'm perfectly fine if your OC is related to a canon character.

AU-Friendly: Your muse is an AU/Canon Divergent version of a canon muse? Fine by me, as long as you have a bio page where you explain said AU/canon divergence so I have an idea about what's different from canon.

Crossover-Friendly: Your muse belongs to a different fandom? That’s perfectly fine! Though be forewarned that I might not follow back quickly (or at all) if it's a fandom I'm not familiar with unless we've been friends for a while (like, from before I joined the BNHA fandom), you have a BNHA AU or I see potential for interactions. It's mostly to keep my dash clean and for my own comfort, nothing against you, so please don't feel bad.  For fandoms I’m familiar with, see rule #20.

Duplicate-Friendly: If your muse is another Dabi, you're more than welcome to interact, I love multiverse mayhem! Time travel, alternate dimension, twin verse, anything goes.

NSFW-Friendly: Both mun and muse are 21+ and open to roleply smut, though it’ll only happen with muses that are at least in their twenties (Touya is 25 in the main verse and I won't RP smut in verses where he's 17 or younger), in which case it’ll be tagged accordingly as Too Hot To Handle [NSFW] and put under ‘read more’ if necessary. I will only RP smut if the other mun is 18+ and comfortable with it as well.

2. I accept interactions with underage muns, but the relationship between our muses will remain strictly platonic. I don't feel confortable writing romantic ships with underage muns due to past experience. Platonic ships are more than welcome though. Thank you for your understanding and patience.

3. No godmodding (controlling my muse yourself) and no metagaming (using knowledge of someone’s muse that a character has no way of knowing).

4. If you don't follow me back when I follow you but are still willing to RP, send me an ask or IM or tag me in a random starter to break the ice. I usually don't approach blogs I follow if they don't follow back for fear of bothering.

5. I’m open to RP via IM and Discord as well, so if we’re mutuals, feel free to ask for my Discord-ID (though I might be selective with giving it).

6. I don’t care about reply length, just write whatever you feel like. I’m perfectly okay with one-liners, para, multi-para and drabble-length replies, whichever floats your boat, as long as you give me something to work with for my own reply.

7. Don’t reblog OOC posts, Rules, Headcanons or threads you’re not taking part to. Seriously, it’s annoying as hell so. Please. Don’t. Do. It! 

8. Feel free to tag me in dash games (no seriously, I love those so the more the merrier) and, if we're mutuals, random starters as well.

9. Triggers might be present (Touya's backstory does include child abuse and domestic violence and he's prone to having panic attacks), but will be tagged accordingly as TW: Trigger (ex. TW: Blood), even if mentioned (in which case it'll be tagged as TW: Trigger Mention), just to be safe. If you want me to tag a specific trigger, just let me know. I don't have any triggers myself, but please tag cheating (in a relationship), animal abuse, torture, rape/non-con and eye-related gore, as they're topics which make me uncomfortable.

10. I’m more than happy to turn asks into threads, as long as we're mutuals. I don't mind either reblogging said ask or starting on a different post, whichever you prefer.

11. Since this blog is based on the 'Dabi is a Todoroki / Touya Todoroki' theory, which includes details of latest manga chapters, spoilers will be present, though they'll be tagged accordingly as Darkest Fire [Spoilers]. In general, I'll tag spoilers from the Internship Arc onward (let me know if you want me to tag earlier spoilers too).

12. I don’t really like to RP angst. Hurt/comfort is okay, though, and my go-to type of thread. Other things I prefer avoiding are dub/non-con, gore, and torture.

13. No hounding / pressuring for replies / answers. I won’t do the same with my RP partners and ask the same courtesy from them. If I haven’t replied in a while, you’re welcome to ask me (gently) via IM. Chances are I’m busy with real life (I’m an university student on my last year), my phone doesn’t work or I need more time to come up with a proper reply.

14. Please keep drama, discourse and anon hate away from me. I’m here to have fun and relax, so don't try and get me involved in stuff like this (it's lowkey triggering for me so please respect it). Much appreciated.

15. Don't be rude. I’m a very kind, considerate individual, I always do my best not to disrespect other people and I hate it when people disrespect me. I’ll gladly accept critiques as long as there’s a good, well-explained reason behind them, but gratuitous rudeness is a big no-no.

16. I don't accept M!A (Magic Anons) so don't send them in unless I request it by writing a post or reblogging a meme (which will happen rarely, if ever). M.A. sent without prompting will be deleted on sight. 

17. I won't take part in or join affiliated RP groups. Last time I did it wasn't a pleasant experience so I'd rather steer away from it for the time being. My activity might be spotty due to IRL stuff so I don't wanna feel pressured to be active at all time. I might make exceptions, but rarely so.

18. No need to send in passwords, I know it can make some people anxious. I myself have no problem sending them in if requested, and in any case I always make sure to read the rules before following/interacting, so I assume you did the same. 

19. For PSAs, look for the Let It Burn [PSA] tag.

20. Regarding crossovers, here’s some of the series I’m into and know very/decently well:

Persona Series

Ace Attorney

Yuri!!! On Ice

Fairy Tail

Pokémon games

Harry Potter

Artemis Fowl

Marvel Cinematic Universe

X-Men Movie 

Danganronpa

Ouran High School Host Club

Villainous / Villanos

Saint Seiya (Classic Series, Lost Canvas, Hades, Soul of Gold)

Time Hollow

Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective

Fruits Basket

Mystery Skulls Animated

[yuureighostcop-blog]

Rules

1. This blog is:

Semi-Selective: Everyone is welcome to follow, however I might be a bit choosy about follows back (it’s not you, I promise, just me being careful). I’d rather RP with mutuals (easier for me to keep track of replies, nothing more), though IM and Inbox are open for anyone, so feel free to drop by.

Multiship: I’m shipping trash and open to any sort of relationship, from platonic to romantic. Muse is bisexual and of age, therefore romantic shipping will only happen with other 20+ muses (so no shipping with any of the high schoolers in canon) and in the off-chance I say no to a ship, DO NOT try and force it; I can guarantee I won’t do the same. Pre-established relationships are okay too, we can talk about it.

Multiverse: Interactions with different muses are to be considered to take place in a different verse unless discussed between muns. Same goes for shipping, so there will be no cheating involved (it’s a big no-no for me and makes me really uncomfortable, so don’t even ask).

Multimuse-Friendly: If you have a multimuse blog, feel free to interact, just make sure to specify which one of your muses you want to use, especially if we’ve just started interacting.

Sideblog-Friendly: I’m perfectly alright RPing with sideblogs; you can reblog my promo (tag At Your Service! [Self Promo]) so I know where to find you, just please send me a message / IM from your main blog if I follow you so I know it’s you.

OC-Friendly: Pretty self-explanatory, if your muse is an OC and you want to interact, you’ll be more than welcome. No Mary Sues or Gary Stus though, please (I had a bad experience in this regard). Also, I’d rather if you had a decent bio page so I know as much as I can about your OC, and I’m perfectly fine if your OC is related to a canon character.

AU-Friendly: Your muse is an AU/Canon Divergent version of a canon muse? Fine by me, as long as you have a bio page where you explain said AU/canon divergence so I have an idea about what’s different from canon.

Crossover-Friendly: Your muse belongs to a different fandom? That’s perfectly fine! Though be forewarned that I might not follow back quickly (or at all) if it’s a fandom I’m not familiar with, unless we’ve been friends for a while (like, from before I joined the BNHA fandom), you have a BNHA AU or I see potential for interactions. It’s mostly to keep my dash clean and for my own comfort, nothing against you, so please don’t feel bad.  For fandoms I’m familiar with, see rule #20.

NSFW-Friendly: Given the nature of the series, NSFW elements like gore, violence, body horror, etc. might be present but will be tagged accordingly. Both mun and muse are 20+ so smut might be present as well, although it’ll always be under ‘read more’ and tagged accordingly as Not For The Weak Of Heart [NSFW]. I’ll only RP smut with 20+ muses and 18+ muns, and only if the mun in question is comfortable with it.

2. I'd rather not RP with muns under 18. It’s not you, I promise, just me being uncomfortable with it due to past experience. They’re still welcome to ask RP/HC-related things if they’re curious, but at least for the time being I’d rather keep interactions with underage muns to a minimum for my own comfort. Thank you for your understanding and patience.

3. No godmodding (controlling my muse yourself) and no metagaming (using knowledge of someone’s muse that a character has no way of knowing).

4. If you don’t follow me back when I follow you but are still willing to RP, send me an ask or IM or tag me in a random starter to break the ice. I usually don’t approach blogs I follow if they don’t follow back for fear of bothering.

5. I’m open to RP via IM and Discord as well, so if we’re mutuals, feel free to ask for my Discord-ID (though I might be selective with giving it).

6. I don’t care about reply length, just write whatever you feel like. I’m perfectly okay with one-liners, para, multi-para and drabble-length replies, whichever floats your boat, as long as you give me something to work with for my own reply.

7. Don’t reblog OOC posts, Rules, Headcanons or threads you’re not taking part to. Seriously, it’s annoying as hell so. Please. Don’t. Do. It!

8. Feel free to tag me in dash games (no seriously, I love those so the more the merrier) and, if we’re mutuals, random starters as well.

9. Triggers might be present given the nature od the series and the people the muse might interact with, but will be tagged accordingly as TW: Trigger (ex. TW: Blood), even if mentioned (in which case it’ll be tagged as TW: Trigger Mention), just to be safe. If you want me to tag a specific trigger, just let me know. I don’t have any triggers myself, but please tag cheating (in a relationship), animal abuse, torture, rape/non-con and eye-related gore, as they’re topics which make me uncomfortable.

10. I'm more than happy to turn asks into threads, as long as we’re mutuals. I don’t mind either reblogging said ask or starting on a different post, whichever you prefer.

11. Spoilers might be present, though they’ll be tagged accordingly as Cheaters Never Prosper [Spoilers]. In general, I’ll tag spoilers from the Internship Arc onward (let me know if you want me to tag earlier spoilers too).

12. I don’t really like to RP angst. Hurt/comfort is okay, though, and my go-to type of thread. Other things I prefer avoiding are dub/non-con, gore, and torture. Mentions are fine, but not graphic RP. Also, don't kill off Rei, please.

13. No hounding / pressuring for replies / answers. I won’t do the same with my RP partners and ask the same courtesy from them. If I haven’t replied in a while, you’re welcome to ask me (gently) via IM. Chances are I’m busy with real life (I’m an university student on my last year), my phone doesn’t work or I need more time to come up with a proper reply. I’m either very fast or slow af, with rare bouts of in-between, according to my mood or how busy I am with real life.

14. Please keep drama, discourse and anon hate away from me. I’m here to have fun and relax, so don’t try and get me involved in stuff like this (it’s lowkey triggering for me so please respect it). Much appreciated.

15. Don’t be rude. I’m a very kind, considerate individual, I always do my best not to disrespect other people and I hate it when people disrespect me. I’ll gladly accept critiques as long as there’s a good, well-explained reason behind them, but gratuitous rudeness is a big no-no. If you’ve got something to tell me, do so in private.

16. I don’t accept M!A (Magic Anons) so don’t send them in unless I request it by writing a post or reblogging a meme (which will happen rarely, if ever). M.A. sent without prompting will be deleted on sight. 

17. I won’t take part in or join affiliated RP groups. Last time I did it wasn’t a pleasant experience so I’d rather steer away from it for the time being. My activity might be spotty due to IRL stuff so I don’t wanna feel pressured to be active at all time. 

18. No need to send in passwords, I know it can make some people anxious. I myself have no problem sending them in if requested, and in any case I always make sure to read the rules before following/interacting, so I assume you did the same. 

19. For PSAs, look for the Tips To Survive [PSA] tag.

20. Regarding crossovers, here’s some of the series I’m into and know very/decently well:

Persona Series

Ace Attorney

Yuri!!! On Ice

Fairy Tail

Pokémon games

Harry Potter

Artemis Fowl

Marvel Cinematic Universe

X-Men Movies

Danganronpa

Ouran High School Host Club

Villainous / Villanos

Saint Seiya (Classic Series, Lost Canvas, Hades, Soul of Gold)

Time Hollow

Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective

Fruits Basket

Mystery Skulls Animated

[nxllificr]

Rules

1. This is a sideblog, follows back will come from @blazc-ignitixn.

2. This blog is:

Semi-Selective: Everyone is welcome to follow, however I might be a bit choosy about follows back (it’s not you, I promise, just me being careful). I’d rather RP with mutuals (easier for me to keep track of replies, nothing more), though IM and Inbox are open for anyone, so feel free to drop by.

Multiship: I’m shipping trash and open to any sort of relationship, from platonic to romantic. Muse is bisexual and of age, therefore romantic shipping will only happen with muses close to his age (let's say from 18 to early-late twenties) and in the off-chance I say no to a ship, DO NOT try and force it; I can guarantee I won’t do the same. Pre-established relationships are okay too, we can talk about it.

Multiverse: Interactions with different muses are to be considered to take place in a different verse unless discussed between muns. Same goes for shipping, so there will be no cheating involved (it’s a big no-no for me and makes me really uncomfortable, so don’t even ask).

Multimuse-Friendly: If you have a multimuse blog, feel free to interact, just make sure to specify which one of your muses you want to use, especially if we’ve just started interacting.

Sideblog-Friendly: I’m perfectly alright RPing with sideblogs; you can reblog my promo (tag Have You Seen This Person? [Self Promo]) so I know where to find you, just please send me a message / IM from your main blog if I follow you so I know it’s you.

OC-Friendly: Pretty self-explanatory, if your muse is an OC and you want to interact, you’ll be more than welcome. No Mary Sues or Gary Stus though, please (I had a bad experience in this regard). Also, I’d rather if you had a decent bio page so I know as much as I can about your OC, and I’m perfectly fine if your OC is related to a canon character.

AU-Friendly: Your muse is an AU/Canon Divergent version of a canon muse? Fine by me, as long as you have a bio page where you explain said AU/canon divergence so I have an idea about what’s different from canon.

Crossover-Friendly: Your muse belongs to a different fandom? That’s perfectly fine! Though be forewarned that I might not follow back quickly (or at all) if it’s a fandom I’m not familiar with, unless we’ve been friends for a while (like, from before I joined the BNHA fandom), you have a BNHA AU or I see potential for interactions. It’s mostly to keep my dash clean and for my own comfort, nothing against you, so please don’t feel bad. For fandoms I’m familiar with, see rule #21

NSFW-Friendly: Given the nature of the series, NSFW elements like gore, violence, etc. might be present but will be tagged accordingly. Both mun and muse are 18+ so smut might be present as well, although it’ll be under ‘read more’ when possible and tagged accordingly as Not For The Weak Of Heart [NSFW]. I’ll only RP smut with 18+ muses and muns, and only if the mun in question is comfortable with it.

3. I accept interactions with underage muns, but the relationship between our muses will remain strictly platonic. I don’t feel confortable writing romantic ships with underage muns due to past experience. Platonic ships are more than welcome though. Thank you for your understanding and patience.

4. No godmodding (controlling my muse yourself) and no metagaming (using knowledge of someone’s muse that a character has no way of knowing).

5. If you don’t follow me back when I follow you but are still willing to RP, send me an ask or IM or tag me in a random starter to break the ice. I usually don’t approach blogs I follow if they don’t follow back for fear of bothering.

6. I’m open to RP via IM and Discord as well, so if we’re mutuals, feel free to ask for my Discord-ID (though I might be selective with giving it).

7. I don’t care about reply length, just write whatever you feel like. I’m perfectly okay with one-liners, para, multi-para and drabble-length replies, whichever floats your boat, as long as you give me something to work with for my own reply.

8. Don’t reblog OOC posts, Rules, Headcanons or threads you’re not taking part to. Seriously, it’s annoying as hell so. Please. Don’t. Do. It!

9. Feel free to tag me in dash games (no seriously, I love those so the more the merrier) and, if we’re mutuals, random starters as well.

10. Triggers might be present given the nature of the series (Setsuno’s backstory does include depression and attempted suicide) and the people the muse might interact with, but will be tagged accordingly as TW: Trigger (ex. TW: Blood), even if mentioned (in which case it’ll be tagged as TW: Trigger Mention), just to be safe. If you want me to tag a specific trigger, just let me know. I don’t have any triggers myself, but please tag cheating (in a relationship), animal abuse, torture, rape/non-con and eye-related gore, as they’re topics which make me uncomfortable.

11. I’m more than happy to turn asks into threads, as long as we’re mutuals. I don’t mind either reblogging said ask or starting on a different post, whichever you prefer.

12. Spoilers will be present, though they’ll be tagged accordingly as Cheaters Never Prosper [Spoilers]. In general, I’ll tag spoilers after the Internship Arc onward.

13. I don’t really like to RP angst. Hurt/comfort is okay, though, and my go-to type of thread. Other things I prefer avoiding are dub/non-con, gore, and torture. Mentions are fine, but not graphic RP.

14. No hounding / pressuring for replies / answers. I won’t do the same with my RP partners and ask the same courtesy from them. If I haven’t replied in a while, you’re welcome to ask me (gently) via IM. Chances are I’m busy with real life (I’m an university student on my last year), my phone doesn’t work or I need more time to come up with a proper reply. I’m either very fast or slow af, with rare bouts of in-between, according to my mood or how busy I am with real life.

15. Please keep drama, discourse and anon hate away from me. I’m here to have fun and relax, so don’t try and get me involved in stuff like this (it’s lowkey triggering for me so please respect it). Much appreciated.

16. Don’t be rude. I’m a very kind, considerate individual, I always do my best not to disrespect other people and I hate it when people disrespect me. I’ll gladly accept critiques as long as there’s a good, well-explained reason behind them, but gratuitous rudeness is a big no-no. If you’ve got something to tell me, do so in private.

17. I don’t accept M!A (Magic Anons) so don’t send them in unless I request it by writing a post or reblogging a meme (which will happen rarely, if ever). M.A. sent without prompting will be deleted on sight.

18. No need to send in passwords, I know it can make some people anxious. I myself have no problem sending them in if requested, and in any case I always make sure to read the rules before following/interacting, so I assume you did the same. If you feel like it, and only if you do, send me an ask with ‘Everyone Runs’, as more of an ice-breaker than anything.

19. For PSAs, look for the Survival Of The Fittest [PSA] tag.

20. Regarding crossovers, here’s some of the series I’m into and know very/decently well:

Persona Series

Ace Attorney

Yuri!!! On Ice

Fairy Tail

Pokémon games

Harry Potter

Artemis Fowl

Marvel Cinematic Universe

X-Men Movies

Ouran High School Host Club

Villainous / Villanos

Saint Seiya (Classic Series, Lost Canvas, Hades, Soul of Gold)

Time Hollow

Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective

Fruits Basket

Mystery Skulls Animated

[missvoltairine-blog]

CSA TW WHICH IS SERIOUS BUSINESS

from the blog of an admitted pedophile, and a person who autismserenity and their pals are all being chummy with and putting forward as like this totally reliable person whose opinions on how to treat pedophiles are worth listening to:

Like with minors i mean an age range between 12-17 you cant tell me they are not atleast mastrubating and looking at porn at that age i was atleast… and all my friends were and all my online friends i have now that are somewhere around that age are either already sexually active and no longer virgins or really really want to have sex and are activly looking for people within their age range to have sex with so i dont quite see how sending nudes to those people would harm them in anyway i only send them if they ask for them after all, it’s not like i’m “Hi, nice to meet you, here have nudes” i always ask if someone wants to have them and most often they specifically came to me cause they heard from others i am sharing nudes.

1) How the FUCK do you know ANYTHING about the porn and masturbation habits of your “””friends””” who are between the ages of 12 and 17. This is completely inappropriate information for you to have! How did you get this information? Why are you telling us about this? You seriously wanna be like, “Well I KNOW that these 12 to 17 year olds who I’m personally acquainted with are sexually active and masturbate to porn and want to have sex! But I’m not having any inappropriate conversations with them.” The ONLY WAY you could have that information about them is if you were having inappropriate, PREDATORY conversations with them about their sexualities. 

2) “Well I always ASK if they want them” you shouldn’t be fucking asking. Don’t ask kids if they want porn you made! That is INHERENTLY predatory. This is how these fucking assholes twist consent culture shit to make it seem like grooming children is okay - “well, the kids ASK for it.” Kids ask for all kinds of shit. Kids try to stick their fingers in light sockets and shove things so far up their noses they have to be taken to the emergency room to get it taken out. That doesn’t make it okay for an adult to encourage those things. “None of them have ever told me no and some of them even ask for it” - yeah, that’s how grooming works. That’s what predators do. They wait for an opening, they introduce this shit gradually, they make their victim think that it’s about the victim’s desires when really it’s about what the predator wants, that way the victim is too ashamed to say no right away. 

The people promoting this person as a reputable source for information on csa and pedophelia are people who have for MONTHS been attacking rape and csa survivors for talking about communication and consent in relationships. It’s not just courteousmingler - autismserenity, vaspider, wetwareproblem, etc have all been circulating posts about how LGBT people are sexual predators (”they only have a problem with asexual politics because asexual people aren’t sexually available to them, this is just about making more people sexually available to them”) and how even talking to an asexual person with whom you’re in a relationship about sex is tantamount to rape because obviously any conversation a non-asexual person would have with an asexual person about sex would inherently revolve around the non-asexual person wanting to fuck and obviously THAT means rape, I... guess.

There is a DIRECT link between these people promoting this shit, and calling me and a friend of mine rapists for saying that you should be able to talk about sex with a sexual partner, and that we were raped by people who wouldn’t allow us to talk about sex on our own terms. There has been a concrete, concerted effort from the people trying to sell stuff like this, to undermine conversations about abuse and boundaries and consent in adult relationships, by calling survivors rapists and rape apologists and pedophile apologists and abusers. These things are absolutely connected, they serve each other way too well to not be connected at all. 

They are muddying the waters by SIMULTANEOUSLY saying that anyone who wants to have HEALTHY, CONSENSUAL discussions about sex and have a fulfilling, healthy, consensual sex life AS AN ADULT, WITH OTHER ADULTS is a predator, and ALSO saying that ACTUAL predators aren’t predators because their PREDATORY BEHAVIOR is a natural coping mechanism and some kids want sexual content foisted on them by adults. 

I literally do not care how you feel about ace discourse at all at this point, this is more important than asexual politicking or whatever, this is so unhealthy. I need people to start taking this seriously. 

[queerascat]

i found an old post about a poc ace and went on their blog and they know say they don't identify as ace because aces are bad, basically. and like, i'm literally crying. idk what to do, that just really struck me. someone who wrote about being queer, ace and a poc like me shitting on me and telling me my identity is inherently problematic when it's the reason i can't access mental health atm, which is something i need cause the 'discourse' & the violent abuse i faced on this website for (cont)

(suicide ideation, death threat and conversion tw) including death threats, caused me to fall back into suicidal ideation. and the only therapist available to me suggested conversion therapy (i live in a small central american country, there’s not much knowledge about these things- she thinks if i can be converted to straight, i will no longer suffer from my orientation). this is horrible tbh. i’m sorry to unload but as another poc ace i feel safe around you. i guess what i’m trying to say is that this ‘discourse’, which is just a bunch of people thinking they can gaslight and abuse aces or call the ‘bad’ or ‘cringy’ and don’t want to have any sort of intra community discussion but literally deny us our experiences and be abusive, is harming my mental health. friends i trusted turned out to be acephobic, send me literal death threats. in what kind of WORLD is that fucking ok? idk where im going with this, im sorry. do you know of any ways i can deal with this wave of ace and aro hatred that’s spread this website? i don’t know how to go about it. and now in the spanish speaking online lgbtq+ community, enbyphobes have copied it to exclude enbys for ‘being actually cis’ and are calling us ‘cisnb’ after regs in english calling aces and aros ‘cishet’ so that’s just fucking great :( that’s because the community is only now starting to realize enbys exist. and it’s also learning that about aspecs, so im starting to hear it in spanish too. i just can’t escape it.

i genuinely feel like i’m in no place to be giving any sort of advice on things of this nature– especially right now when i’m just managing to keep my own head above water for various reasons, but…

i’d first like to say that venting has been (and continues to be) a significant part of self-care / coping for me personally and i am beyond flattered that you feel safe enough to vent your feelings to me. no need to apologize, anon. i don’t know if i can be of any help to you, but i hope that the very act of venting in and of itself has been a step in the right direction for coping for you like it often is for me.

i also want to say that i’m very sorry to hear about all of the shit that you’ve been (and continue to be) put through. while i haven’t had your exact experiences, i can very much relate to feeling like you can’t escape “discourse” or otherwise harmful ideology as both it itself and the effects of it pervades other aspects and intersections of your life both on and outside of Tumblr. not to mention how it feels to finally find that rare, illusive something or someone that you share important but seemingly less common intersections with only to discover that that thing or person contributes to the very thing that’s, for lack of a better expression, fucking you up.

…ah, yes. like those old posts by a formerly self-identified ace and queer person of color who now not only advocates against asexuality but who does so in a way that blatantly shits on aces of color by pitching them against other QPOC, among other things. that’s some fucked up shit, ain’t it?

cough. anyway… my personal coping and self-care strategies.

my go-to strategies for coping and self-care certainly don’t work for everyone or in all situations, but with Tumblr and social media-related thing in general i often try to:

remove myself from the source of the distress.

even if only temporarily for a few hours, days, a week– whatever, i do what i can to mentally and / or physically check myself out of whatever it is that’s negatively affecting me and do my best to turn my attention to other things. i go to Starbucks, read a book, clean my apartment, focus on a personal project, catch up on shows, turn off my computer and my phone and finally make myself food– whatever. i focus on things that are actually tangible and perhaps offer some form of self-gratification even if it’s just in the form of tasting good because goddamnit, the time and cost required to get a caramel macchiato is (and quite frankly should be) far more worth it to me than the time and (mental) cost spent giving a damn about someone else’s bullshit. or so i tell myself.

if the source of the distress is outside of the internet, as might be the case with a therapist, i cut that person (or thing) out of my life even if it’s just by silently breaking off communication with them by not returning their calls or not going to their therapy sessions temporarily or indefinitely. as i said above, that person / those people / that thing is not worth the time or (mental) cost required of me by dealing with them.

limit or manage my exposure to the source of the distress when removing myself from it completely isn’t possible.

i feel like this often ends up being more taxing than simply removing myself all together, but blocking / unfollowing immediately upon coming across something or someone that can potentially or does set you off is important. blocking applies to more than just people, blogs or posts but also blacklisting tags, keywords etc using something like Xkit for Tumblr, the native block & mute features on Twitter, etc. if the distress comes in the form of asks, instant messages, etc then i disable those things at least temporarily, especially when blocking an IP fails to get the job done. i also avoid browsing through tags, which can be tough when you actively want to find something to help yourself feel better about yourself / your experiences / etc…

when the source of the distress isn’t online-based, i try to manage / limit my exposure by avoiding the person or thing in question when possible. again, actively avoiding someone or something requires effort on my part and can in and of itself be taxing, so it’s not ideal… but i do what i can.

venting.

while venting is by no means The Solution to anything and comes with its own set of risks / problems when done publicly, venting can be done in so many different ways. it’s a relatively easy form of instantly relief for me regardless of how small that relief may ultimately be. whether it be tweeting, journaling (online or pen & paper), venting on sites specifically made for that purpose, scribbling feelings onto a piece of paper and then immediately ripping that paper to shreds, typing heatedly into a text document and then closing it without saving– whatever, it helps for me to take even a moment out of my day to acknowledge how i feel and speak those feelings into existence beyond just the mess that is my own head at times. even if those feelings only exist in the world for seconds before i delete or physically destroy them because Anxiety And Shit, it still helps.

but perhaps most importantly is to:

focus on the fact that no matter what anyone else says or does, i am The Authority on who i am, how i feel, etc.

i know who i am, but i also know that who i am is not the problem even when others make me feel otherwise. regardless of how i may feel about the things that i face in regards to my sexuality, my gender, my race, etc, i try to keep in mind that those things that i face are a product of the society that i live in and the people who insist on interjecting their own personal bullshit into my life. imho, this is as true of Tumblr “discourse” as it is of life in general.

while it may not be possible to escape society or shitty people all together, there is a lot more to society and life in general than the bullshit that we find ourselves faced with at times. i try my best to look beyond or through “discourse” on Tumblr and see the communities of people both on an off Tumblr who, like me, are against such bullshit. while shitty therapists and shitty people in general may rebrand and rehash the same old tired, hurtful shit that’s been said to others for forever, i try to look past that and focus instead on the fact that a lot of people aren’t like that and have actually learned from the past and and are better for it. i try to focus on a future where i will have access to competent mental health resources and care even though i do not have that now…

…….i’m not sure why i ended up writing this short novel of a post that ultimately amounts to nothing, but yeah. anon, no matter how hard things get, please know that you’re never going at it alone. there are others out there struggling, coping, surviving in spite of the same or similar things, it’s just that if hardly anyone talks about it we end up feeling alone in it, unaware of others’ company…

….which is one reason why despite the potential risks, venting publicly even in the form of anonymous asks can be worth it sometimes and i very much welcome such asks on this blog.

all the best, anon.

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

Ace Klaine headcanons

So, I may have rewritten glee/the story of Klaine in my mind three times?

Everything goes as I want it to go - Blaine stays at Dalton edition

Everything goes as I want it to go - Blaine transfers to McKinley edition

Ace!Klaine

And this is the latter. 

Personally, I don’t think that Kurt and Blaine are asexual in canon. In fact, I like that they’re so open about the fact that they’re in a sexual relationship, because it still happens too often that mlm relationships are either non-sexual, because Straight People might not be comfortable with it, or that they’re sexual only, only refuting a main problem with Straight People regarding gay pride: them seeing homosexuality (or any non-heterosexual identity) as only sex instead of love.

Then you might wonder: “Well, Yuè, if you’re so happy with Kurt and Blaine being overly sexual in glee, why did you feel the need to rewrite the entire Klaine story with them being asexual?”

Well, m’dude, because being a sex-repulsed asexual in fandom can be quite hard sometimes, so this is mostly for my own sanity and amusement. Their headcanons are based on canon Klaine, some other ace!Klaine fics and headcanons that I’ve read, and of course my own experiences.

Enough talking.

Let’s go.

Although, maybe we need some more talking. tw: acephobia, mentions of rape threat (not in the story, but y’know, “ace discourse”), occasional cissexist language, homophobia, memories of Sadie Hawkins, overusage of the word “bro”.

This isn’t a glee fix, like the first two options. Most of the shit glee pulled them through still happen in this version, although I did change two things for no other reason except for the fact that they bother me a lot. Also, it’s unclear if Finn dies or not.

There’s one moment where unwanted sexual activities happen (I sound like a biology book, jfc), but the moment it becomes clear it’s unwanted, it stops immediately.

Now, for real, let’s go.

Season 1

Glee starts in season 1, guys. We can’t help it that Blaine decided to wait to grace us with his presence until season 2. Just like glee, we will start with Kurt.

Kurt comes out to Mercedes in 1x03 and then to his dad and the rest in 1x04/05. Everything is great, to be honest. He feels relieved, especially since his dad and friends are so okay with it.

Kurt’s like: “Yeah. Dick.”

Only-

In the beginning, he’s in a bliss. He no longer has to awkwardly overhear the girls talking about boys. He no longer has to pretend to be interested in the boys’ girl talk. But something changes. 

Kurt loves to talk about Finn’s hair and cute face and his clothing.

The other girls, uhm, rather talk about what’s underneath all that clothing. Why would Quinn share that Finn touched her breasts? Why would Rachel dream about Finn’s junk? Why would Santana do anything (please notice that Santana hasn’t figured out shit yet) at all?

So he googles. He googles a lot and after quite some agonizing nights spent googling, he finds the answer. Isn’t the internet great?

Kurt basically goes through another questioning, but he’s pretty sure he’s all about that ace. He doesn’t tell anyone, though. Not even Mercedes.

He already gets so much shit for being “gay”, what will they do when they found out he’s gay and ace? 

So season 1 ends. Kurt’s truly happy and okay, don’t get me wrong, but he’s not out yet. 

Season 2

The bullying, just like in glee, gets worse. David Karofsky gets worse- and no one seems to notice. Puck sends him to spy on the Warblers, and just like in the actual glee, Kurt has a hard time realising that places like Dalton exist. 

Blaine notices.

So the beginning of the dialogue in 2x06 is the same, that is until Kurt tells him that he’s not even gay- or at least, in the way they think he is. Trusting Blaine and Dalton, he comes out for the first time and it’s liberating.

And Blaine tells him he understands- which kind of pisses Kurt off.

“No you don’t.”

“Yes, yes, I do.”

Because Kurt’s tired of non-ace people thinking that asexuality is the same thing as whatever problem they’re feeling, probably caused by sexual frustration.

“No, Blaine, you really don’t.”

And to Kurt’s surprise, Blaine laughs it off. He’s about to explode when Blaine shows him his right hand. There’s a simple black ring around his middle finger.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Not much changes for 2x07 to 2x13. They become really great friends. Mercedes feels left out. Kurt transfers after his dad’s wedding. Sectionals tie. Flirty duets. Kurt keeps falling more and more for Blaine, whereas Blaine’s an oblivious piece of fuck.

They do get to know each other better. They soon find out that, sure, they’re both asexual, but they’re sooooo different.

Kurt’s pretty sure he’s sex-repulsed. Blaine’s very sex-positive. He just doesn’t feel the need.

Blaine’s pretty chill about people not knowing- as long as they don’t assume he’s straight, he’s okay. Kurt doesn’t want to come out yet because he wants it to be huge, so that people can understand it’s a huge deal.

Later, they’ll find out that Kurt’s dad is overly supportive, whereas Blaine’s family situation is less than ideal.

Kurt, despite not being out, is entirely comfortable being ace. Blaine’s not all the time.

Literally, the only things they have in common is that they’re both homoromantic asexuals.

Kurt gets the confirmation in 2x12: GAP ATTACK!

And then, Rachel Berry throws a party. A party involving alcohol. And Blaine doesn’t question his sexuality, but his romantic orientation. He’s kind of freaking out, because he thought he was sure of himself. That, and the fact that he realises there’s so much more out there. Have you seen the entire aromantic spectrum? 

Just like in glee (sorta), he realises that nothing has changed.

Of course, everything in 2x15 becomes irrelevant. Instead of the actual storylines, it’s just them reacting to the Top-Secret Information™ Sue has given them.

By now, they have a code for talking about ace related stuff.

I have an ace hanging on my sleeve,

Which is obviously a pun and mix of “ace up my sleeve” and “[sth] hanging on my sleeve”. Not that being asexual is tiresome (okay, for Blaine it sometimes is), but these are often hard-hitting subjects.

Really, Blaine is so comfortable with sex. Kurt would rather not think about what Blaine does in his room when he’s by himself and he’d also rather not look into Blaine’s browser history.

Sure, Blaine doesn’t do those things because of sexual attraction or anything. It’s a known fact that sexual behavious =/= sexual attraction. It probably relaxes him and he appreciates the intimacy, but Kurt’s just like LALALALALALALALLALA PORN???? HAHAHAHAHA NOPE.

And that’s what they discuss in Sexy. And sure, Kurt gets very uncomfortable, but they talk it through and they once again just get the wake up slap that they’re still two very different people.

Kurt’s happy being around Blaine.

Kurt’s not so happy when Pavarotti dies.

They kiss and start to date (which probably makes Puck cry). They’re of course delighted. Both of them have dreamed about their prince Charming, but they never dared to dream about him being asexual, because they didn’t think that could happen. But it did. They’re not lonely anymore. They have each other and they’re very happy.

Honestly, after 2x16 everything is pretty much the same. They go to the Benefit and confront Karofsky. Kurt transfers back to McKinley. Prom is shit and Blaine opens up about his past and how Sadie Hawkins has also changed his view on his asexuality (again, there’s a reason Blaine’s not always 100% okay with himself). Kurt loses Nationals. Blaine tells him he loves him. They run into Sam and Mercedes and well…

They’re definitely together and they become that obnoxious couple that everyone hates. That summer, Blaine gives Kurt a gift. 

It’s a simple black ring.

Season 3

If you watch the transfer scene in 3x01, you know they’ve had a *cough* nice summer together. Blaine transfers to McKinley.

And he lands Tony.

Really, this kid is at a school for two weeks or so, and he lands the lead role in the school musical. He’s killing it.

Artie, on the other hand, doesn’t agree. He clearly tells both him and Rachel that he judges them for having sex and UGH that entire scene is just awful. It hurts Blaine. Of course it hurts him, but it hurts him more than Rachel because he’s fucking asexual, and here’s Artie telling him that he can’t be a great actor without having sex? In fact, he can’t be a normal functioning human without having sex?

He dances in his room, listening to Roxy Music, while telling Kurt everything. Just like Blaine, Kurt can’t stand it, but that’s not the only thing bothering him. Blaine can’t really take a stand against Artie without telling him the truth. Kurt isn’t out yet and he knows that if Blaine starts telling people he’s asexual, they will ask about Kurt. 

Remember, Blaine is okay with that. Being asexual is a huge part of him, but he’s still more chill about it. As long as people know he’s not into women, he’s good. He doesn’t mind people thinking he’s gay. When people ask him “so you’re gay?” he politely corrects them and that’s it. When people ask him about his sexuality, he tells them the truth. But as long as they know he’s not into women, he’s got nothing to complain. In his eyes. I get that people *cough*Kurt*cough* feel different about this, but this is how Blaine feels.

Honestly, Kurt not being out for the first three seasons is probably the only semi-OOC part of this story, but I did it with a reason. In my mind, Kurt is not like that at all. He wants people to know, goddamnit. He’s just a bit nervous because he made such a spectacle of coming out as gay (before realizing he’s ace) that he just needs more time to get his shit together.

Sometimes, he must think about Blaine though.

“I know! But I feel like…" 

“Feel like what?“ 

“I feel like I’m pushing you back into the closet. You’ve been at McKinley for weeks and you know that you’re free to be who you are in glee club, but you haven’t acknowledged it at all. They think you’re gay and you think it’s okay.“ 

“We use it as an umbrella term.“ 

“Still. I know that you’re not running around with an ace flag wherever you go-” “I should do that, it sounds amazing.” “-because you don’t think your sexuality is the only important thing about you and you’ve always been out with this ‘I literally don’t give a fuck if you know it or not’ attitude, but you cannot deny the fact that this is important to you.“ 

“Yeah, but I don’t want to push you out of your closet. I know you want to tell your dad first, but it is kinda hard because you came out as gay a year ago.“ 

That didn’t go exactly as planned, though. Santana gets outed and Burt’s busy trying to take down that awful commercial and of course, he’s talking about his kids shouldn’t be ashamed of their sexuality and how he’s happy with Kurt for being honest and Kurt just blurts it out. He wanted it to be touching and everything, but no. He just said that he’s definitely asexual. 

Kurt’s dad replies with: “Hi asexual, I’m dad.”

Which immediately makes the tension disappear. Burt admits that he has no idea what it means and that he doesn’t know how to feel, but that he’s willing to learn. Kurt helps him out.

"So, you and Blaine don’t plan on having sex?" 

"No." 

"So, every time I yelled that the door had to stay open, it was all for nothing?" 

"Daaaaaad.” 

After that, he has the courage to come out.

Blaine’s happy for Kurt, but he’s also a bit bitter. Kurt’s dad is so amazing, whereas Blaine’s parents are… not. They aren’t very open about their acephobia, but they simply ignore it. They treat it as if it’s a phase and they’re just waiting for Blaine to “get to his senses”. 

“Blaine, you dating another boy? Well, if you really have to, baby.” 

“Blaine, you not wanting to have sex? Well, if you believe that’s true then we’ll wait, sweetie.”

It really bothers him, of course. That’s not all. They’re pretty sure it’s not real and that Blaine’s punishing himself for something.

“I think they don’t understand the point of asexuality. Then again, I haven’t explained it to them. I never talk about it at home, because then my mom will go on about how we shouldn’t label ourselves and bla, bla back in my days, we only had gay or straight, why are you making it so difficult for yourself? Do you want to make it harder for you? Why is it so important? Bla, bla, bla…” 

But it’s time for more: The New Directions! Kurt loves these kids, that’s true, so he’s happy he finally feels like it’s time to tell the others.

It goes so, so wrong.

Just think of all the worst possible responses to coming out and put them in this moment. There are a lot of glee club members after all. They don’t understand and they’re too caught up in their idea of asexuality that they don’t bother with listening to Kurt. 

BUT WAIT. It gets way worse. After Kurt tells them that he really doesn’t want to have sex, the others stare at Blaine with so much pity. They tell him how brave he is and "oh I could never date an asexual” so of course he freaks out and he flat out tells them that he’s also asexual and that they’re all disgusting. The others, still a bit biased, apologise and it will get better, truly, but this was probably one of the worst moments in Kurt’s life.

Why did I do that to him? 

It is kind of inspired by the LGBTQ community. I remember thinking I was straight and I always admired the LGBTQ community for being accepting and open and a safe space. When I started to realise I wasn’t straight, I didn’t feel all too bad because I knew that there was an LGBTQ community where people could be themselves. I still love the community, but what a joke. The amount of biphobia and acephobia and panphobia and basically everything against anything that isn’t homosexually gay is disturbing. I was actually quite nervous to post this because of the LGBTQ community calling me homophobic or whatever. “Ace discourse” (aka blogs telling ace people to kill themselves or get raped and that shit) is somewhat normal and that’s a problem. Sure, not everyone is like that, but it feels like the “ace discourse” has gotten worse.

That’s why this happened. The glee club is about acceptance. Kurt never doubted about telling them. It was always such an obvious thing is in head. Glee club is family and they will accept him, that’s what glee club is about. Hell, they just finished an entire week dedicated to Santana (after his brother outed her and got to play the hero, amiright glee?). He just wanted to tell his dad first and that was the hard one. Because, y'know, glee club is a safe space and Kurt will be fine. But that didn’t happen. Is it OOC? Maybe, but the LGBTQ community being exclusive is already “OOC”  for a community about acceptance and love and hope.

The glee club does get better. It’s a bit messy at first, but they go back to being #protective (something that would never happen to the LGBTQ community, sorry not sorry). In fact, the Unholy Trinity almost becomes a group of female assassins chasing down Straight People that are idiots.

Life goes on, and so does their relationship. So, remember the sex talk they have in 3x05? I sort of put it after the whole coming out thing. Blaine’s always been more open about being more comfortable, so it’s just them working on comfort zones in general. How far does Kurt want to go when they’re together? 

Because when people talk about ace/allo relationships, they always say: “THINK ABOUT THE COMFORT ZONES!” and they’re absolutely right, but that also applies to ace/ace relationships. Hell, even to allo/allo.

There are two (or more) people in a relationship and they’re all different and have different feelings and experiences. You know, Kurt and Blaine talk it through and they’re happy.

Plus, why would you have fun in the bedroom when you can have fun in the kitchen? Burt and Carole come home that day to find the entire kitchen ruined, but at least Kurt and Blaine get to enjoy their freshly baked cake.

Then Cooper decides to visit Lima, and Blaine is low key not so low key freaking out, because he’s never told Cooper about being ace, and even though he’s pretty chill, he really wants to tell him since they’re working on their sibling relationship.

Cooper is one of the many who thinks Blaine’s gay.

Blaine coming out is supposed to show parallels to Kurt coming out to Burt. Both men really want to tell these family members (even Blaine!). Both of them really value the opinions of those family members. Both want their acceptance.

Burt immediately accepts him. He lightens the mood by cracking a joke to make Kurt feel more at ease. Later he admits he doesn’t understand, but since Kurt’s already feeling so much better about it, he’s willing to help.

Cooper isn’t like him. You know Cooper and his mindset. Blaine tells him and just like Burt, Cooper doesn’t understand. But he doesn’t lighten the mood. In fact, he makes it worse by flat-out telling Blaine he doesn’t understand and that he doesn’t really believe him. It’s the more toned-down version of Kurt’s coming out to the New Directions.

"Are you sure, Squirt?”

“Do you really think we’d have this agonizing discussion if I weren’t?”

Blaine has always looked for approval in his family and Cooper is part of that family, but for the first time he tells Cooper. He just tells him that he wants Cooper to know because he cares a lot about Cooper’s opinion. That’s when Cooper starts to realise it is a great deal and that he’s hurting Blaine. Just like Burt told Kurt, he tells Blaine he doesn’t understand (maybe he never will), but he’s willing to learn. Unfortunately by that time the mood is pretty ruined, since Blaine feels like shit. Cooper does learn though, but it was a rough start.

Guess what happens next? You’d expect Chandler, right? Well, you’re somewhat right, but guess what doesn’t happen?

This fucking fight. Neither Kurt nor Blaine is sexually frustrated cause they’re both hella hella ace.

Chandler does exist and since Kurt’s pretty oblivious to flirting and trying to be sexy, he has no idea what’s going on until, just like canon, Rachel confronts him. Worried and freaked out, he turns to Blaine, asking him how he feels about that and Blaine, who’s obviously more knowledgeable about these things, agrees with her. No blee-related overly dramatic and scenic angsty solos needed.

Kurt and Blaine do still have to do the couples counselling thing with Ms. Pillsbury, but there’s no sexually frustrated shit. Blaine’s being distant, like in canon, but Kurt doesn’t go looking for affection anywhere else. Again, no blee-related overly dramatic and scenic angsty solos needed.

That’s it, I guess.

3x18 to 3x22 are pretty much the same. NYADA stuff and the hairgel at the dinosaur prom. And of course Nationals and finding out that the entire season, Kurt’s been nothing more than an accessoire to Rachel’s successful and undeserving storyline.

Kurt and Blaine are happy and in love. Hooray!

Season 4

We know what’s about to happen so let’s get this thing fucking over with.

Kurt and Blaine break up.

They had a great time together during the summer, but they both notice how Kurt’s not really happy. Blaine encourages him to go to New York and they try long-distance. They love each other, but just like in glee, Kurt starts to lose track of Blaine. Kurt’s at Vogue, living the dream and hanging out with fashion icon Isabelle Wright, while Blaine’s running for student president with a former stripper.

But here’s the thing: they’re so goddamn ace. Blaine doesn’t need to fuck a lighthouse in order for Kurt and Blaine to break up, because Blaine isn’t sexually frustrated and tempted to fuck a freaking lighthouse. Praise hallelujah, Blaine does not have to cheat, since the writers thought that was the best way to break up a relationship. It’s so original of them!

Since they’ve always been open and very great at communicating even before they started dating, they decide to break up because long-distance isn’t working. Fuck, Blaine even flies to New York to do this, since they can’t break up over phone and yeah, it shows that Kurt’s life has gone on without Blaine next to him. It hurts both of them, but being together also hurts and love shouldn’t hurt like that. They try to stay friends, but it’s awkward. It isn’t until Thanksgiving, during Sectionals of all times, that they finally talk it through.

Kurt gets into NYADA after all and Burt flies to New York for Christmas. Blaine tags along and it’s pretty clear they’re still into each other, but they know long-distance hurts too much. Despite that, it actually goes uphill with their relationship.

In this season, they obviously have their own storylines when it comes to the ace part: Adam and Sam.

Adam isn’t acephobic. I’ve thought about it, and maybe it’s because I fucking love Adam Crawford, but I didn’t do it. Based on his 6 whole minutes worth of screen time, I came to the realisation it doesn’t fit him. Kurt starts to like him and asks him out. They date and Kurt comes out pretty fast, since he’s all about I’M COMING OUT/I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW.

Sure, Adam isn’t downright acephobic, but it doesn’t go easy. Kurt’s only been with Blaine, a fellow asexual. Adam admits that he has already thought about Kurt like that so Kurt coming out means that Adam has to change his perspective cause that is definitely not gonna happen. It’s awkward and messy and Adam does try to support him. Ace/allo relationships can work out -rightfully so- but this one doesn’t. Adam was great, but not the one true love Kurt’s been dreaming of.

Not much changes about the Sam storyline. I never believed it was more than a small crush and I actually think Tina’s right about how Blaine needs somewhere to put his love, because Blaine craves affection in his own way. Whereas it was random and overly unecessary, I don’t have much to complain. Sam’s been okay with gay guys possibly crushing on him since day one, or 2x04, and that hasn’t changed.

There’s actually more to the Sadie Hawkins plot (since glee totally disregarded Blaine’s past and trauma and the aftermath of a hate crime and bullying): remember how I linked that to Blaine not being all too happy about being ace all the time?

I haven’t gotten into Blaine’s questioning because it never happened on glee. By the time Blaine does grace us with his presence, he’s already out and everything. We never saw what happened before that and Sadie Hawkins is actually the first glimpse to his past. This also ties together with the fact that Blaine doesn’t feel the need to let everyone know he’s ace. By the time Sadie Hawkins happens, Blaine knows there’s something "wrong” with him. He goes to the dance with Logan (I named the guy after Logan Wright, do not judge me) and in his eyes, the physical part of a possible relationship doesn’t excite him as much as it should. Yeah, they’re young and sure, Blaine’s already explored parts of well, himself, but with another person involved? Maybe, but maybe not? And that’s not right, because he’s a teenage boy so he’s supposed to get turned on every time Logan tells him about his dreams and magazines and about feeling grown up while going through them and “wow Blaine there is this site, you should see it…”

He has heard of word asexual, but that can’t be him. He’s not some plant. He’s not religious. All the misconceptions of asexuality float through his young mind and because of that, he simply refuses to be asexual. When he realises that he is, he breaks down. Sure, by then he knows more about it, but he’s not only into men, but also asexual.

And he remembers that godawful dance where a couple of boys kicked the living shit out of him and Logan for being gay. Being gay is already disturbing to some people. He doesn’t want to be asexual as well. What if Blaine had known by then? What if those guys had known by then? What would they done differently, considering they’d give him a “special treatment” to not only kick the gay but also the ace out of him? Fuck, would he still be here? Logan isn’t.

At Dalton, he learns to love himself. As far as he knows there are no other openly ace students at that school, but the environment only makes it safe enough for Blaine to get his shit together. Just like Kurt, he comes out at Dalton for the first time and people support him. He’s home. He starts to love himself and he becomes proud of being ace. He buys himself a ring, puts an ace pride flag on his computer, and continues life. But sometimes in the back of his head, he just wishes he could be “normal”. He knows he shouldn’t think like that, but the fact that those guys still assumed that part of “normality” about him might have saved his life. He knows there’s also a chance that they weren’t going to give him a “special treatment” and that he’s “overreacting”, but sometimes someone’s thoughts and fears can take over their rationality.

NOW HERE COMES THE EXCITING PART ABOUT SEASON 4: THE HOOK-UP.

Well, that doesn’t happen because these guys don’t want to get in each other’s pants or in anyone’s pants in general. Sure they sing a duet and yeah, it’s pretty clear they’re into each other (despite Adam and Sam), but they’re fucking ace.

4x15 to 4x20 are also pretty much the same. Except for Come What May, not much happened for the boys. Blaine’s random crush on Sam randomly disappears, Kurt has a boyfriend pillow cause it’s comfy, there’s a fucking school shooting, I don’t even remember what happened in 4x19 except for Finn going to college, and McKinley loses its power while Isabelle invites Team Bushwick to sing at a ballet gala.

Kurt is back in Lima for his dad and maybe he’ll patch things up with Blaine as well. It’s probably the happiest moment of Kurt’s young life when he hears that his father is in remission. 

Now here’s what’s going to happen. Like I said, this isn’t a rewrite of all the shit glee pulled them through, so even the things I wish I could change have to stay.

And like I also said, 98% of the time I follow the rules. I changed two big moments after all because I just can’t stand it at all. Here’s the first. 

Yup folks, I am stopping their engagement and future wedding. 

I’ve never been okay with it. I’ve thought about keeping it and then I thought about all the possible reason why them being asexual would mean not getting married like that, but in the end I gave up and broke the rule. I could go on about why I can’t stand it and wish it never happened but you know… been there done that. No Liz and Jan (don’t like them either), no ring box behind Blaine’s back, no Burt discouraging Blaine (rightfully), no me flat-out hating Blaine for his delusions and putting Kurt in this position while they’re broken up for fuck’s sake. 

And with that, we swiftly move to season 5.

Season 5

They get back together in an elaborate fashion. Since the engagement doesn’t happen (praise hallelujah) Kurt goes home without a ring on his finger. He and Blaine know that long-distance didn’t work out before, and they know love shouldn’t hurt, but in their months apart they’ve gotten lives without each other so they’re less lonely. Don’t get me wrong: they miss each other very much, but they both have great people to rely on and well, graduation is around the corner.

Kurt starts a band and there he meet Elliott. And hey, guess what? Elliott is a very happy panromantic asexual. I remember when the spoilers about Blaine getting jealous of Elliott first came out, people were speculating about Elliott’s sexuality, because what if he’s straight? But other sexualities got discussed too, and this was my favourite headcanon.

Why did I make Elliott ace as well? Because they need more people to talk to. They have each other and that’s great (amazing even). They still tell each other that every now and then they have an ace hanging on their sleeves. By this point, Blaine’s gotten more comfortable with himself, so their ace stories are mostly about their relationship. Elliott shows up to talk about more ace stuff. For Kurt, having an ace boyfriend and an ace best friend is great.

He still turns to Blaine for his ace stuff. When Blaine gets to New York, he does the same. But honestly, now they both have Elliott as well.

But before Blaine has Elliott, the jealousy kicks in. Sure, Kurt won’t ever sleep with Elliott (to quote Kurt about sex: “ew ew ew”), but what if they kiss? Blaine’s pretty sure Elliott is into Kurt.

Again, not much happens for the remaining episodes of season 5a apart from the Elliott jealousy thing: 5x05 to 5x13. Blaine auditions for NYADA and then sings with puppets, Kurt’s band is taking off and they have a small fight, Kurt’s afraid Elliott is taking over the band, Blaine becomes valedictorian, the New Directions lose and gets disbanded. Kurt and the others alumni come back to celebrate the glee club. And voilà, time for season 5b.

Everything is also the same in 5x14, by the way. I just needed to give that its own paragraph, because that episode is my favourite and it deserves love. Klaine was so good in that episode, y’all.

5x15 means that Blaine’s self-doubt comes back once again (see my part about Sadie Hawkins) and it’s heavy for both of them. Sometimes I have a hard time realising they’re both victims of homophobic hate crimes.

The big one is 5x16. I know it’s named Tested, but I’ve started calling it Sexually Frustrated Swordfights, because it’s one of the four sex-themed glee episodes (2x15, 3x05, 4x14, 5x16). 

But hey, guess who doesn’t get sexually frustrated?

Kurt.

Guess who doesn’t get sexually frustrated either?

Blaine.

Honestly, the website thing… if it were to happen, Kurt wouldn’t be that mad at Blaine, because he knows why Blaine goes through those things every now and then, and he’s got nothing to be jealous of. There’s no need for an actual sword fight. Jeez, these boys are dramatic.

Kurt’s a bit more uncomfortable in this episode. As Blaine mentions in the beginning of the episode, people are seeing Kurt as a sexual object and not only Blaine’s uncomfortable with that, but so is Kurt. Kurt knows he’s attractive. He has an awesome body and yes, Blaine does jealous of that. He sees men (and women!) check him out on the subway. He feels good, truly, he’s confident.

But he doesn’t like that he’s seen as sexual.

And as I mentioned, it makes Blaine very insecure. It’s not like he wants to be seen as a sexual person either (although, he wouldn’t mind as much as Kurt), it’s just that his body is awful compared to Kurt’s. Or at least, that’s what he believes.

The entire breakdown in the loft still happens. Kurt’s so much better, right now. Blaine’s feeling like shit. Not only because of his body, but after Bash he’s back to hating himself and his parents split up. And then he remembers the good ole Dalton days, where Blaine was Kurt’s protector and mentor. He used to be so strong, and now he’s not.

About his parents… I’d like to think they made amends. I’d like to think Blaine yelled at them for their acephobia.

I did, and whereas it’s not ideal, I’m okay with my family now.

But Blaine’s family has always intimidated him. Maybe now that his dad has left his mum, he feels the courage to at least talk to her, because I believe Pam loosened up after her divorce.

But yeah, Blaine’s in a bad place right now, but together with Kurt, he works on it. Kurt has gotten used to the unwanted attention and when it goes too far, he calls people out, but otherwise he just lets it happen. He’s still in the center of Blaine’s attention, and that’s all he needs.

5x17 to 5x20 is not much. The Ultimate Rachel Berry Pity Party, June picking Blaine over Kurt, Kurt as Peter Pan, Blaine moving back in the loft. Everything is going uphill.

Until it goes downhill.

Season 6

Kurt and Blaine break up after things get bad at home. Whereas I still don’t really get why they did this to them (they were doing so well in season 5b), it happened. Since glee presented them as an unhappy and unhealthy couple, I respect that they needed to leave each other.

(That, and the fact that I knew they were going to get married in 6x08).

Here’s change no. 2: Blaine dates an OC instead of You-Know-Who (not Voldemort). His name is Ryan. He’s part of all three the rewrites. He’s a gentleman. He lives close to Westerville.

Blaine isn’t the biggest fan of Scandals, but you know, he’d just overcome his depression (kinda. It’s still hard on days), he has a job he likes, he’s good, so why not celebrate at a gay bar? 

They start to date and it’s sweet. Again, Ryan is a gentleman. 

It’s also sexy.

Which is new.

I also have a headcanon that Ryan is one of those bro-bros, since Blaine’s apparently into that out of nowhere (*cough*You-Know-Who*cough*). He has a couple of bros that also adore Blaine. But there’s also his ultimate bro: his best bro.

Ryan likes Blaine, but man, he can be frustrating.

“I don’t know, bro. He’s never really into taking it a step further.”

“Bro, what do you mean?”

“Like, every time shit gets heated, he starts talking about lesson plans or bowties or fuck what, and I don’t think he realises he’s interrupting something. He’s just genuinely excited about bowties while we’re making out.”

“Bro.”

Ryan is older so he lives on his own. Since it’s pretty close to Dalton, Blaine goes there quite often, and without a mother like Pam Anderson around, things can get heated.

And it freaks him out.

He’s always known he’s very okay with these things, but how the hell is going to come out to Ryan? He slowly starts to lose his pride. He doesn’t even know where he left his ring for fuck’s sake.

Is he back to not being comfortable with himself?

Hell, he doesn’t even know.

When things get very serious one day, he just tells Ryan that he’s never done this before and that he needs some time to fully explore everything. Ryan’s a bit confused, because he knows Blaine was in a committed relationship, but he doesn’t ask. Blaine’s told him he’s gone through a messy break-up and that he doesn’t want to talk about his ex. Ryan just assumes Blaine’s ex is religious or he has whatever reason not to have sex he respects that and he respects Blaine.

It doesn’t cross his mind that Blaine wasn’t going to have sex either.

There’s a big time jump between season 5 and 6, so they have time. Blaine’s a bit overwhelmed, that’s for sure, but it feels quite good. At one point, they sleep together (and not just sleeping) and it was really, really good. Blaine enjoyed it.

Back to the bros!

“Bro, I’m just so confused.”

“What is it this time, bro?”

“Like, sleeping with Blaine is fucking great and I’m pretty sure he feels the same, but he never makes the first move. I’m always the one suggesting, bro, it’s been like that since we dated.”

“Just talk about it.”

“But, bro, I feel like there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m pretty sure Blaine’s not teasing me or anything. He just never initiates anyting intimate.”

“Bro, respect that.”

“Bro, I do, but I’m just so confused about that. We like being together. You know, the other day I suggested Netflix and Chill. You wanna know what he said to that?”

“Yeah.”

“He said: ‘I make the popcorn, you choose the movie!’”

“BRO.”

“He wasn’t even kidding. It wasn’t until I told him what I really meant that it clicked for him.”

And Blaine’s freaking out. He feels like it’s too late to tell him now that they’ve slept together. Kurt and Adam didn’t work out. Elliott has told him his relationships didn’t always work out. 

By the time he’s completely freaking out, he has basically forgotten about Kurt. Ryan asks him to go to a bar with the bros, and Blaine accepts. Ryan tells him a friend is coming back to visit or whatever.

It’s Kurt.

Well, that is awkward.

Both of them are absolutely floored when they see each other. Kurt was going to text Blaine to meet up, but he didn’t expect to see Blaine like that with a new guy. They try to be polite, but the awkwardness is palpable. Kurt excuses himself, telling the others he needs to use the bathroom (to cry) and that he’s gonna order a drink, and Blaine follows the bros to their booth.

There he tells Ryan and the others about their history. Ryan apologizes. He truly didn’t know. He and Kurt aren’t that close, so they never really talked about personal stuff.

It’s awkward and Blaine’s pretty sure that setting himself on fire would be less painful, but when he sees Kurt, who’s clearly been crying, ordering a drink at the bar, he gets up.

He tells Ryan he needs to fix this.

He doesn’t tell him he doesn’t mean Kurt and Blaine’s friendship or whatever relationship.

He goes to Kurt and he tells them that, yeah, this is fucking awkward, but if they could just put aside their differences for one night because holy shit, Blaine has a HUGE ace hanging on his sleeve and he’s been dying to talk about it.

Both Kurt and Elliott were off-limits (Elliott’s too close to Kurt) and this is going to be painful, but Blaine needs Kurt. He didn’t want to turn to the internet, because he felt like he needed to speak about something like this in person, and he hasn’t come out to his therapist, because he’s afraid she’ll tell him it’s fake and because of trauma.

Kurt tells Blaine to sit down and Blaine tells Kurt everything (occasionally apologizing for more talking about the more sexual details). Blaine’s basically having a breakdown in a public bar while speaking to his ex, knowing that his new boyfriend is probably watching them.

Oh, how awkward.

As awkward as it is, they both know what’s like to feel trapped. Before they met each other at Dalton, they had no one to turn to. Kurt tells him that he needs to be honest with Ryan and that there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

“Do not apologize for being yourself, Blaine.”

Kurt takes off his own ring and gives it to Blaine, asking him to return it the moment he finds his own. At that point, Blaine’s probably openly crying, but hey, it’s glee.

Kurt also apologizes for what has happened between them. They actually have a conversation about that, since glee decided to completely overlook that despite having the opportunities.

Blaine’s a bit shakery, but he makes his way back to the booth. Ryan, who thinks they’ve only talked about their break-up, comforts him. Later, Kurt joins the others. 

It’s fine. There’s still a little bit of awkwardness left, but both boys feel so much better after their conversation.

That day, Blaine goes home and he finds his ring. He texts Kurt (they never deleted each other’s numbers) to tell him. Ryan comes over the day after and so does Kurt. Wow, awkward again. Blaine gives back the ring, since he’s now wearing his own. Kurt tells Blaine to talk to Ryan.

He does in 6x03, because unlike in glee, Blaine doesn’t get locked in a sheet music store. Blaine is the one who always rushes things, so of course he accepts when Ryan suggests him moving in. Since Ryan already has the apartment, Brittany doesn’t have to furnish it for them. She does stop by to give them rainbow printed decorations, of course.

After the move has been finalised, Ryan obviously kisses Blaine because he’s happy for the both of them. It leads to more- much more. It becomes clear that Ryan is more interested in taking off Blaine’s new jacket instead of talking about the store he bought it at. Blaine’s excited. It’s fun and great and wow.

Until it’s not.

Ryan is more rougher than usual and Blaine slowly starts to realise that this is not good at all. It’s not excitable anymore. In fact, it hurts. So he tells Ryan to stop and since Ryan is still the definition of gentleman, he immediately does.

Blaine’s basically having another breakdown and I just feel so bad for all the shit I’m pulling this kid through. He locks himself in the bathroom until he’s more calmed down. When he opens the door to the bedroom, Ryan is waiting for him, clearly worried. He immediately hands Blaine some pants (such a gentleman) and asks him what is going on and if he can help.

Blaine tells him. Ryan listens and occasionally asks questions, and Blaine tells him he didn’t want to tell him because he felt like he was too late and that he didn’t want Ryan to dump him. To his surprise, the conversation goes well. He keeps restraining himself from saying "I’m sorry” every sentence though, but that’s because he remembers Kurt telling him that he shouldn’t feel ashamed for being himself.

Back to the bros! I love them, since their “bro-ness” is so cringy and unnecessary.

“Bro, I figured it out with Blaine.”

“Cool, bro, what’s up?”

“He’s asexual, bro.”

“What?”

“A-S-E-X-U-A-L, bro. He sent me some links to info sites and it’s fucking huge and interesting. You ought to read it too.”

“Bro, why not? Of course I’ll read that shit.”

Meanwhile, Kurt has met Walter. Whereas a part of me thinks the Walter storyline is even worse that Blaine dating not-Voldemort, another part of me has also never believed they were dating. Maybe I’m naive but in my mind they’re just friends that go on outings that they jokingly call dates after they realise it’s not gonna happen. That’s why he’s still here.

Of course Kurt has told Walter, since Kurt wants people to know. Walter makes a small derogatory joke about how that’s a reason they should be happy they decided not to date. Kurt’s hurt and confronts him about that, since he’s implying that ace people can’t love, and Walter apologizes.

Just like that, they’re both kinda happy living their own lives. It’s still a bit uncomfortable to run into each other, but they will get there. They can’t help it that Sue Sylvester decided to speed things up for her own amusement. Kurt and Blaine are not happy that they’re being forced into physical contact. They’re fine with kissing, but only when it’s with their consent. Sure, when they do kiss, they do it out of their own consent, but in the beginning they’re not happy with their former Cheerio coach.

Plus, those air drugs that promotes sexual stimulation by increased blood flows to the male genitalia don’t affect them anyway.

Yet, in the elevator they rediscover each other. It’s no them trying to fix whatever relationship. It’s them genuinely enjoying being around each other and them chatting as if nothing has happened. Unfortunately, they need to get out. It’s really hot in there (definitely not sexually hot), and Blaine’s not fond of confined spaces. They kiss and get the hell out of there, but the awkwardness of them being exes is no longer necessary.

Which starts to mess with both of them. Blaine’s caught up with his feelings for Ryan and his returning feelings for Kurt. Kurt’s never had any feelings for Walter, so fuck him, he’s just trying to suppress his feelings for Blaine, since he thinks that’s what Blaine wants.

Communication.

Boys, you two used to ace that.

Pun intended.

Although, back then everything was different. They weren’t ex-lovers back then. Hell, they weren’t even lovers back then. Blaine decides to stay away from Kurt for his own sanity, and because he hasn’t really come to his senses about the New Directions. He thinks they no longer want him since he’s back to being a Dalton boy or whatever bullshit. Oh Blaine.

The New Directions prove him wrong, though. Not only is he invited to sing for Brittany and Santana and for a dinner at Mr. Schue’s, he’s also invited for yet another hectic Rachel Berry party. Yes y’all, it’s time for 6x07. Not much changes, if I may say.

Kurt makes sure they sing together and the fishing starts! Kurt’s pretending that he and Walter are very serious and Blaine’s pretending Ryan can be jealous, but they’re both fishing for information. Because of that, they both think that the other isn’t interested anymore.

But Blaine realises he’s very interested when they sing Somebody Loves You together. He needs to leave because he and Ryan and the bros are going to see a game, but woops, he kisses Kurt. 

He’s fucked.

After the game, Ryan tells Blaine that he knows that Blaine’s still into Kurt and he tells him to go after him. It’s bittersweet, but both of them know it’s for the best. Kurt, Blaine, and Ryan will stay friends, but that’s it. 

We all know who’s waiting in the choir room with Kurt, though: Walter.

Again, Blaine has no clue. He thinks they’re really dating and his heart shatters. At the double-date, Kurt realises that something has happened, but he doesn’t know what.

He starts to get what is going on when Brittany and Santana’s wedding is about to happen. He doesn’t want to take Walter to that fucking wedding. He wants Blaine. He runs after him (Blaine’s back to living with his mum, btw) and they kiss and get back together and guess what? 

THEY ACTUALLY HAVE A VERY SERIOUS CONVERSATION ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND HOW IT WENT WRONG AND HOW IT AFFECTED THEM AND HOW THEY NEED TO IMPROVE, BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT IDIOTS AND I DON’T FORGET ABOUT SHIT LIKE THAT LIKE GLEE DOES.

Brittany and Santana get married and they cheer for their friends, because remember how I stopped their wedding? Yeah.

Since they’re not on their honeymoon, Kurt helps the glee club with Myron and Blaine’s at Dalton with the Warblers.

After that, things in 6x10 to 6x13 go as canon. DALTON ACADEMY BURNS TO THE FUCKING GROUND FOR NO REASON?? Blaine’s been accepted into NYU. They win Sectionals. McKinley becomes an art school. Kurt and Blaine go back to New York.

Over there, Elliott and Dani are waiting for them. Since Blaine and Elliott go to the same school now, there’s a new version of Glitter Rock Vampire in less than a week. Rachel, Brittany, Santana, Artie and Tina join them, and so do Kitty and Rodrick after one and two years.

And that, folks, is glee.

5 years later

It’s supposed to be the best day of their lives. All their friends and family members are here, but there’s only one thing nagging them.

The well-meaning wedding guests that tell them it’s okay if they want to leave the reception a little bit earlier so that they can spend their wedding night together *wink wink* *nudge nudge*.

It’s as if some of them don’t even grasp the point of asexuality. 

They wear their wedding rings on their left hands and their ace rings on their right hands. Plus, it’s not as if it’s that big of secret anymore. In the past five years, they’ve both made a name for themselves. Blaine mostly in the Broadway community, but he’s also a Grammy nominated musician (he lost to Mercedes and he can live with that). Kurt’s an Obie winner for sure, but he prefers fashion and Hummel Brag a bit more, since being an actor means that he sometimes has to act out things he’s not entirely comfortable with.

Both of them have come out on national TV during interviews. Not because they had to. It wasn’t even that big of a deal. They just mentioned it in passing and it’s out in the world now.

Blaine’s even one of the mods of one of the biggest asexual sites and Kurt makes ace pride merch. 

But those wedding guests be damned. They’re married and it’s the ceremony of their dreams- with other words, the one glee deprived them off. They’re surrounded by people they love, and there’s a baby on the way. 

They’re good.