#ty for asking again Z lol

[ambalambs]

Don't think I didn't see your tags about Miko's Azem. I need to know all about them! Do you have a name for them? What kind of personality do they have? How do they get along with Hades, Hythlodaeus, Venat, Hermes, Themis, et al. How would they get along with Miko and how are they similar and how are they different?

Oh geeze the cats out of the bag, I do have an azem concept for Miko xD his name is Dionysus! Or Dio for short to his friends. I see him being a pretty energetic guy who strives to live for excitement and fun and just loves being around people. You'd just rarely find him alone or not busy with something.

Im gonna put the rest under a break just in case I get carried away here lol

So basically he's a super cheery and approachable guy but he is definitely someone you wouldn't want to get on his bad side. He has a habit of coming up with unorthodox ideas and if someone decides to hurt him or someone he cares about he will take joy in making them suffer lol but he's usually a sweetheart otherwise! But yeah just he's got of a bit of a deranged quirk to him like I mentioned about the butterfly concepts in those tags you clearly saw xD but most of the time it's harmless ideas. For example he'd probably ask if he could give a caterpillar concept two heads, and when asked why he'd even want to do that he'd reply with something like "so it wouldn't feel lonely 🥺". And just in general I kinda see him being a little creature at times like there's no doubt Hades has had to pluck a few leaves or twigs out of his hair before they go into a meeting. Boy is a free spirit lol

As for relationships he is closest to hythlodaeus. I feel like during the whole final days stuff when he learns of hyth's sacrifice it was most likely the final straw to break him. Just based on canon tho he'd of course also be friends with Hades. He'd take immeasurable joy in pestering him lol but he'd know the limit and only push his buttons on a good day. Themis would be like a little brother to him and possibly an awful influence in most of the other convocation member's eyes lol as for Venat he would've definitely looked up to her as a mentor and since she was a kindred spirit when it came to relations with the people and exploring he felt extremely comfortable with her. He'd always talk her ear off about his wild ideas or things he'd see/experience on his travels. Im not sure if he'd have ever had a deeper relationship with hermes tho beyond just "this is a guy I work with and he seems sad so im gonna chat him up when I see him, maybe show him a cool bird concept ive been cooking up. He seems to like birds." Lol

I do have this idea, or theory I guess, that venat told azem about the whole future stuff with hydaelyn and zodiark and the final days at some point. And this would've been devastating for him to learn and hard to accept and why he left the convocation and everything behind. He'd have been angry having to sit aside and let fate play out as it must so I think that really strained his relationship with Venat and of course Hades. I could go on deeper about all that probably but idk how atm lol but it does play into how I feel like he'd feel about miko.

Like if they were to meet i feel like there would be a deep sadness and resentment for miko. Dio would just take one look at him and wonder "why you?". But there'd also be respect. That something so small, just a piece of himself, could continue on and accomplish all that miko has. And to witness all the love and compassion and hope and courage in this little shard would eventually sway him and Dio would come to love miko, not as a piece of himself but as his own person. Ngl I'd love an azem vs wol battle to test their worth or something xD I feel like thatd be fun. But yeah I mean there are small similarities between them if one knew where to look. They both have that joyous nature and are good with people. Their ability with song. Dio is just more unhinged than Miko is in like Miko doesn't take joy in fighting or hurting others even if they've wronged him and he's more chill than Dio is in general I think lol if that all makes sense.

Also im gonna be bold and share a basic concept doodle I did of him just cuz I needed to get an idea out of what he'd even kinda look like. So this is all subject to change but I do see him at least having long hair with this color and silver eyes.

[writingonleaves]

it's so hard to watch everything i want (everything i was spinning down the drain) - trevor zegras

pairing: trevor zegras x original female character

warnings: swearing, angst-ish, mentions of cheating (not between the two main characters), self-loathing, fluff

based on: "bleach" by 5 seconds of summer + "the archer" by taylor swift. title from "bleach"

word count: 15.6k

author's note: tried my hand at writing trevor's pov and it was Hard. this one means a lot to me personally so i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it! takes place at least five ish years from now so future fic alert!! trevor is finally employed again and that motivated me to finish this LOL

*****

Trevor Zegras is good at a lot of things. Remembering names and faces is at the top of the list.

It kinda makes sense. He’s been meeting and shaking hands with people ever since he was a teenager, most of them wanting something from him in one way shape or form. It’s not completely a bad thing. He wouldn’t have gotten this far without knowing who he was talking to. 

So that’s why it’s such a surprise that it took him a whole damn hour to figure out why the wedding planner for Jack and Amelie’s wedding looked so familiar. Isabelle, she introduced herself as, and he keeps racking his mind to see if he knows an Isabelle, but he comes up empty.

As a groomsman, Trevor was expected to come to the venue earlier. He didn’t have to come a whole week earlier, but he had nothing else going on and the wedding’s in Michigan, so it wasn’t completely inconvenient for him. He just crashed at Jack and Quinn’s, to which the latter rolled his eyes at. But the soon-to-be-married couple were thrilled that he was coming early so they could put him to work, and he was more than happy to help out. 

It’s halfway through assembling floral centerpieces when he shoots his head up to the wedding planner across from him. “Belle Holloway?”

Belle looks up with a small smile. “Been a long time since anyone’s called me that.”

“Holy shit. I knew you looked familiar. It’s been so long.”

“Z, are you bothering Isabelle?” Jack calls out from another table. “Please don’t scare her away. She’s been our lifesaver the last year.”

Belle chuckles. “You don’t need to worry, Jack.”

“Yeah, Hughesy. Belle and I go way back.”

Amelie is passing by and hears that comment, raising her eyebrows. “You two know each other?”

“We grew up in the same town,” Belle explains, tying a ribbon around a bunch of flowers. “My brother was in Trevor’s grade in school. They played hockey together for a bit before Trevor got too good and left.”

“Belle was probably the smartest girl in school,” Trevor adds with a hint of pride in his tone. “Can’t say the same about her brother. Where did you end up going to college?”

“University of Michigan.” Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jack smirk. Weirdo. He literally didn’t even go to Michigan. 

Trevor whistles. “Still smart. Where is Connor these days? He went to UConn, right?”

“Yup. He’s with his wife in Chicago now. Doing something with finance.”

Trevor makes a mental note to reach out to his old friend the next time he’s in Chicago. “And little Lily?”

Belle chuckles. “Not so little anymore. She graduated from Parsons last year and works at Michael Kors as a designer.”

Trevor smiles knowingly. “Guess her styling Connor all those years paid off, eh?”

“Guess so.”

(Amelie and Jack are at another table working on centerpieces, overhearing this conversation. They give each other a knowing look as they keep eavesdropping. This is why Belle didn’t seem surprised during their initial consultation when they had to explain Jack’s hockey schedule and why he wouldn’t be able to adhere to the traditional timeline if he wanted to be at all the appointments. Little did they know, she already knew someone in the NHL)

She then asks about his family, because while Trevor was always her brother’s friend, their parents got to know each other pretty well to the point where they would go over to each other’s for dinner enough for her to remember. Trevor talks about how Griffin is off doing God knows what in Florida but having a good time at his sports marketing job and how Ava, who’s the same age as Lily, graduated from Elon and is now in the Philly area as a nurse. 

They’re now moving pots of flowers around as they venture into their lives post-grad. “So have you been in Michigan this whole time?” Trevor asks.

“Yeah, though I had a brief stint in Santa Ana. This wedding is my last one here, actually, so a fun one to end on.”

Trevor follows her eye-line at the soon-to-be-newlyweds, who are now decorating the photo station but more fucking around then decorating. Amelie’s slapping Jack’s shoulder as he laughs loudly. Trevor smiles at the sight. “They’re great, aren’t they?”

“They are,” Belle admits. “I’ve worked with a lot of couples, but they’re one of my favorites. From the fact that they’re organized and flexible and so kind and understanding to the fact that they seem to be super in love with each other.”

“You said this is your last wedding here?” Belle nods. “Where you off to next?”

Trevor notices her stiffening a bit, and he immediately wants to take the question back. But the discomfort leaves as fast as it came. “Not sure. Gonna do some last minute packing up and then go home to New York next week to reset and figure it out from there. Connor offered his guest room in Chicago so I might take that. I have some friends that are dispersed around the country as well.” She shakes her head and switches topics and he makes a mental note of her vague answer. “Enough about me. How about you, Mr. NHL? Not gonna lie, when I saw Jack’s list of groomsmen, I had to brace myself mentally when I saw your name.”

“Brace yourself? What does that mean?”

Belle chuckles and his smile widens at the sound. “It’s been awhile, but not everything is different. I’m sure you’re still the life of the party everywhere you go, which means you’re at high risk of intruding on my meticulous plans on the day. Mind grabbing those shears for me next to you?”

He passes her the shears, standing up straight. “Jack’s conned you. He is way worse than I am.”

“Jack is also the groom so he knows that he has to listen to what I say if he wants things to go well,” Belle says. “How have you been, though? Has Anaheim been treating you well?”

“It has. The team’s great. The weather’s great. The beach is right there. Very different from Bedford.”

“Congrats on a great season. The playoff run was fun to watch.”

His eyebrow shoots up. “You watched?”

She shrugs a bit sheepishly. “If a game is on, I’ll usually watch. It’s like white noise to me now, after going to Connor’s, and I guess your games growing up. I went to a couple of Ducks games during the two years I lived in Cali.”

“And you didn’t reach out?”

She wipes her hands on her jeans. “I…you were always more Connor’s friend than mine. Didn’t want it to be weird.”

“It wouldn’t have been,” he assures. “Next time, let me know and I’ll get you tickets. You still have my number?”

“I do.”

“Perfect,” Amelie then comes up and seems like she has a question. “I’ll let you ladies be. Where’s your fiance?” He asks the bride-to-be.

“Quinn just arrived, so probably making sure the bar is all good, since you guys have your weird ass drink preferences,” Amelie says. “We should be almost done here though. Just have a couple last questions for Belle and then we’ll head back.”

Trevor snorts. “Typical. I’ll go find them.” He turns back to Belle with a grin. “Good to see you, Belle. Don’t be a stranger.”

Belle smiles. “I’ll see you at the wedding.”

“I’ll be on my best behavior.” Trevor promises, before walking away. 

When things finally settle down a couple of hours later and he settles into one of the guest rooms for the night, he reflects back to his own childhood and memories of Isabelle Holloway, or Belle, as everyone used to call her. Brunette and green-eyed, Belle was decently quiet compared to him and Connor’s wild teenage boy energy, but she was talkative with her own friends and Trevor’s parents adored her. She loved Taylor Swift, and if Trevor looked into it deeper, her blasting her music around all the time probably got Trevor to like it purely through osmosis. She was always clean, happy to do the dishes and Trevor often caught her organizing the living room and basement without being asked. She was incredibly smart, always had her homework done before hanging out with her friends and seemed to always ace her classes with minimal difficulty. Even when Connor gave her shit just because he was the oldest sibling, she rarely dished it back. That kindness extended to all of Connor’s friends as well, including Trevor, even when they were loud and playing video games when she came home from school. Every memory he has of Connor growing up, Belle’s right around the corner.

Belle Holloway had always been too good to them. It’s a no-brainer that her profession is based on giving something to others.

He still follows Connor on Instagram, so he goes to his old friend’s page to find his sister’s page. She’s private, but he doesn’t hesitate on requesting her account. He goes to take a shower and brush his teeth and when he comes back to his phone, he’s delighted to see that she’s accepted his follow request. 

Thus begins his stalking. 

There’s not many posts to stalk — she only has 47 — but it does span the amount of years he lost touch with the Holloways. There are posts from her later high school years when Trevor had already left Bedford, and he smiles to himself when he sees the post from her high school graduation, with Connor, Belle and Lily all cheesing in one photo. There are various posts from her college years — she must’ve spent a semester or a summer abroad in Barcelona — mixed with some various travels from Yellowstone to Sweden to Miami. Then it gets less frequent after she graduates college, posts of the Michigan landscape, posts with friends on a night out, at a friend’s wedding, the rare photos of just herself. She notices there’s a guy in some of those posts, but no one’s tagged and the caption doesn’t reveal anything, so he figures it must be a friend or ex-boyfriend of some sort. 

One thing that hasn’t changed much, he thinks, is how beautiful she is. As he scrolls on her Instagram and thinks back to seeing her earlier today, he kinda can’t stop thinking about how beautiful she is.

The day of the wedding comes by and it’s an early start for the bridal party. Trevor rolls into the Planterra Conservatory at 8:47 a.m. with coffees for himself, Quinn, Luke and Jack while Cole had gotten coffees for himself, Nico and Alex earlier. The suits are already hung up by the window of the spacious room and beers have already been opened. 

“Starting off early, eh?” He sets down the coffees on the table. 

“It’s a big day,” Luke calls out from steaming everyone’s suits.

“That it is,” he stops by the chair Jack is sitting in and gives him a hug. “Congrats, man. You nervous?”

“Nah,” Jack smiles. “More excited than anything.”

Quinn grabs his coffee and sits down. “I stopped by the bridal suite just a few minutes ago. Amelie said the same thing.”

Jack lights up at the mere mention of her. “I’m just anxious to see her, to be honest.”

Belle walks in then, clad in a light green jumpsuit and a tan blazer, with a bright smile on his face. “Oh good, Trevor made it. Everyone all good in here? Do you guys need anything?”

Jack grins. “We’re all good here, Isabelle. Thank you. I’ll holler if we need anything. Promise.”

She shoots the groom a semi-skeptical look before nodding. “Okay. I’ll check back in, in 30 minutes.”

“Do you need any help at all?” Nico asks. 

She shakes her head with a thankful smile. “You all are too kind. I’m good. Michelle and I are manning the floor. She’s kinda doing my job better than I am, when she has her own bridesmaid duties to worry about.”

“Impossible.” Quinn remarks. “You’re fabulous at your job.”

Belle rolls her eyes fondly, and Trevor’s reminded that even though she’s the one running the show, she’s younger than a majority of the bridal party. “Flatterer.” She takes her phone out of her pocket and clicks her tongue. “Alright. I’m out.” She looks at Trevor with a pointed look. “Zegras. You better come find me if anything goes wrong.”

“Why are you entrusting that responsibility onto me?”

“Because I have so many stories about you that I could tell everyone if you don’t listen to me.”

Trevor gasps in mock offense. “Belle, oh Belle! Resorting to blackmail?”

The whole room laughs as she grins. She stops in front of him, a more serious look on her face. “Call me if anything goes wrong?”

“I gotcha.” He assures her with a firm nod and she shoots everyone one last grin before walking out. If his eyes linger on her, no one has to know. 

(Everyone in the room knows. He doesn’t notice them all giving each other knowing smirks)

Jack speaks up first. “Z, if you end up hooking up with my wedding planner, give her a good time at least. She deserves it.”

“Jesus Christ, Jacky.” Trevor groans as everyone cackles. Thankfully for him, they drop it after that. 

The next time he and Belle get to interact is after the ceremony — to which he couldn’t stop smiling watching one of his his long-time best friends marry the girl of his dreams, proudly watching at the front as they exchanged vows to love each other forever — when it’s time for pictures and Belle and the photographer are working together to direct everybody where they need to go. Belle stops directly in front of Trevor and focuses on fixing his boutonniere. Her tongue pokes out as she focuses on making it straight after several attempts. Even amongst a crazy day, he feels a sense of calm surrounding him. 

She huffs. “Why won’t your boutonniere stay still?”

He smiles down at her cheekily. “On my worst behavior.”

She snorts, before softening. “Thank you for earlier.” He knows she’s referencing when there was a minor mix up with the rings right before the ceremony was about to start and Trevor got it under control within 10 minutes. 

“Of course.”

She puts a piece of stray hair back on his head away from his forehead and he feels his heart flutter at her light touch. She smirks a bit. “On your best behavior today, actually. Like you promised.”

“Don’t count on it once the open bar hits.”

She laughs before moving on to fix Luke’s collar and Trevor gets a second to finally take a normal breath.

The next time he spots Belle is well into the reception, when the dance floor is full and the drinks are flowing and everyone is enjoying themselves. She’s nibbling on a slice of cake in the corner, eyes sweeping through the crowd with a small smile on her face

Trevor, who ditched his blazer after ‘Mr. Brightside’ brought the place down at least 7 songs ago, strolls over, hands in his slacks. “Haven’t seen you in a bit, Belle of the Ball.”

Her nose wrinkles. “No one’s called me that since I was 6.”

“A good wedding to end off on?” 

“I think so,” she smiles, staring at Amelie giggling as she pours a bottle of champagne into Jack’s mouth. “You having a good time?”

“The best. And I’ve been to a lot of weddings. You did beautifully.”

Belle waves him off. “All in a day’s work.”

“Do you still have fun at weddings? Since you have to work them?”

“Yes and no,” she admits. ‘Yes, because the end result is always worth it and seeing the happy couple live their day is always worth it. No because now when I go to weddings of my friends and family, it’s hard to turn my work brain off.” 

“Are you allowed to dance at your clients’ weddings?”

“I usually wouldn’t,” she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.

“Make an exception for an old friend? To celebrate your last wedding in Michigan?”

She looks away for a second. “I don’t want to make Jack or Amelie feel weird.”

“Those two couldn’t care less. I’m sure they’d actually encourage it.”

He shoots what he hopes is an encouraging smile as he offers a hand. She looks at him for a couple of seconds before letting him help her up. 

It’s perfect timing as ‘Lover’ by Taylor Swift comes on and the once rowdy floor is calmer, with couples dancing with each other or families dancing with their kids. It’s a dance floor filled with love.

He guides Belle to put her arms around his neck as he carefully places his on her waist. 

“I told Connor about seeing you again.” She starts

“Oh yeah? What did he say?”

“He told me to tell you to hit him up the next time you’re in Chicago.”

“Was already planning on it.”

“He also said and I quote ‘if the next thing I hear is that Zegras is dating my sister, I will kill him.’” Trevor tips his head back in laughter as Belle chuckles. “He’s lucky I never dated any of his friends. He had some cute ones.”

“Was I one of them?”

“Nice try. I’m not blowing smoke up your ass, Trevor.” She says dryly. “Besides, I was kinda kidding. It’s not like you or any of his friends would’ve gone for me anyways.”

Now he’s confused. “What?” He thinks she’s joking, but from her face he realizes she’s not. “You do know that like, half of the hockey team had a crush on you, right?” She tips her head back in laughter as he squeezes her waist. “I’m not kidding. It annoyed Connor to no end.”

She snorts. “There’s no way.”

“Up to you whether to believe it or not. Just know that I never lie, Belle.”

She hums, and the way she’s looking at him makes his hands start sweating. He hopes she can’t feel it through her jumpsuit. “What you’ve done with your hockey career and everything, it’s really cool. I’m happy for you, Trevor. You deserve it.”

And he’s heard so many compliments about his career throughout his whole career, but it’s different coming from someone from his hometown. Someone who knew him before he left and knew what he was like before the NHL — before his days at the NTDP, even. Someone who has nothing to gain from complimenting him. 

“Thank you, Belle. That-that means a lot coming from you.”

She just smiles back before they fall into a comfortable silence and keep dancing. He twirls her and does an exaggerated dip that has her giggling. They keep dancing and dancing, even as the songs change tempo.

(Amelie, who’s resting her feet right by the dance floor, nudges Jack and gives him a look. She picks up a disposable camera and points it at them, before taking her phone and also taking a picture. She has an inkling that Trevor and Isabelle may want these someday)

“What are you up to before the season starts?” 

He shrugs. “I’m not sure, actually. I just need to be back in Anaheim for pre-season in three weeks.”

“Where are you staying?”

“Quinn and Jack have been letting me crash at their place. Don’t have an exact date of when I’m leaving yet.”

Belle snorts, though it’s paired with a smile that seems fond. “Still the same, huh, Trev?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your spontaneity used to stress my parents out, even back then. The reason they still liked you is because you could charm your way out of it.”

“I stressed Kurt and Susan out?” He says, actually worried.

“Oh, hush. It’s not that deep. My dad loves watching you play. There’s been many a family call where I hear a Ducks game on in the background. Unless it’s against the Rangers, of course, in which you don’t matter.”

“To be expected,” Trevor says, heart lifting at the fact that two people who used to drive him around so much still support him, even from afar. “Do they still live in Bedford?”

“Yup. Though with the amount of time my dad spends in White Plains golfing, you’d think they lived there now. He’s loving retirement, clearly.”

Trevor laughs. “I’ll have to hit up Kurt when I’m back for a couple rounds. Does Susan still make the best apple pie?”

“Yup. And everyone still raves about it when she brings it to parties.” 

“You think she’d make me a slice?”

“She’d bake you three pies and send you home with them to Julie and Gary.”

He grins. “Never knew little Belle was this sassy.”

“Because you wasted all your time with Connor.” She shoots back with a laugh. 

(Honestly, he thinks as he twirls her again, maybe she’s right. Who knows what could’ve been if he had seen Belle as more than just Connor’s quieter, talented sister.)

“You said you’re leaving next week?”

“Yeah. Just need to sort out some boxes to move to storage before driving back to New York.”

“You’re driving all the way back to Bedford?”

She laughs at his slight disbelief. “Well, yeah. It’s only a 10 hour drive.”

Suddenly, an idea pops into Trevor’s head, and before he can overthink it, he blurts it out. “What if I came with you?” She blinks, and he forges on. “I mean, I don’t have much going on and it’d be nice to go home before pre-season. I’ll help you load your car and pay for your gas and meals and-”

“Trevor, I-are you sure? You don’t have to…we literally just reconnected after not seeing each other for over a decade.”

“I know I don’t have to do anything,” he says, now trying everything to convince her. “If I’m overstepping, you can tell me and I’ll immediately lay off. But it just seems like…maybe some company could be nice. And we could switch off driving too.”

She bites her lip and tilts her head curiously, trying to find something in his face. It only took her a couple of seconds to chuckle. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but sure. Why not? Come join me on my drive back home.”

He lights up, grinning widely. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“When are you planning on leaving?”

“Monday.”

In two days. Perfect.

“This is gonna be so fun. Just you wait.”

“I don’t doubt it. Fun seems to always follow you wherever you go.”

He has to let her go, since she has some last things to do as the wedding planner. He kisses her cheek quickly before he leaves the reception, to which Quinn raises an eyebrow at but doesn’t say anything. The next morning, during the quick and informal thank you breakfast for the bridal party at a nearby, fancy-ish brunch place, Jack throws him under the bus (“Saw you getting pretty comfortable with Isabelle yesterday,”) and he reveals their plan for the next day. 

It might be one of the most TV show worthy reactions from every single person, bridesmaid and groomsmen. Luke chokes on his mimosa, Quinn shakes his head, Alex blinks, Nico has a shit-eating grin on his face, Jack smirks and Cole lets out a bark of laughter. The girls have all been filled in and equally have similar reactions. Amelie immediately says “you’re joking,” Michelle, at the same time as Amelie, says “ain’t no way,” Kaia, like Alex, just blinks. Nicole and Sarah’s jaws drop wide open, Annemarie starts cackling and Isla drops her fork. 

“What?” Trevor responds, munching on his bacon. “Why all the reactions?”

“Z, are you sure about this?” Quinn asks, ever the voice of reason.

“Yes? It’s just a drive. Everyone needs a car buddy for that long of a drive. Gives me an excuse to go home too.”

“Trevor,” Amelie starts. “I think we’re all just a bit confused because this is…not that we don’t like Isabelle! She’s wonderful. But this just seems out of the blue.”

Jack snorts. “There’s nothing confusing about this at all.” Everyone, Trevor included, turns to look at the new groom, who just shrugs while taking a sip of his coffee. “He likes her.”

“For real?”

“Oh my.”

“Okay, Z! Atta boy.”

“Haven’t you not seen her for like, 10 years?”

“Have you liked her this whole time?”

“That’s crazy.”

“Woah, woah, woah.” Trevor says above everyone’s exclamations. He waits until everyone’s settled. “I don’t like her. Not like that, at least. She’s just…I don’t know. It was good to see her again after so long. It felt like going back to old times. Simpler times.”

“It’s giving childhood friends to lovers,” Michelle says, making everyone laugh. Trevor rolls his eyes again and the subject is dropped. 

Jack volunteers to drive Trevor to Belle’s before him and Amelie’s flight to Greece tonight for their honeymoon. He doesn’t leave Quinn and Jack’s place without chirps from every single person still there, gathering their things and cleaning up. He makes sure to leave with giving Amelie a tight hug and a fond kiss on her cheek before playfully glaring at everyone else as he leaves.

He climbs into the passenger seat. “You don’t think I’m crazy?”

“We’ve known each other since we were 16, Z.” Jack says, starting the car. “Nothing you do fazes me anymore.”

Trevor just hums, staring at one of his dearest friends who is now a husband. “Congrats, Jacky. I know I’ve said it a lot recently, but I’m really happy for you.”

A small smile spreads across Jack’s face, as he automatically goes to touch his wedding ring. “Thanks, man.” Silence falls between them. “Did you ever, even just the slightest, like Isabelle as more than a friend? And be honest with me.”

“No,” Trevor replies honestly. “I always knew she was kind and thoughtful, but she was always just Connor’s little sister and kept to herself and her own friends most of the time.”

“And now? Do you like her now?”

“I don’t know,” Trevor replies honestly. If Jack is shocked, he doesn’t show it. Trevor clears his throat, “We haven’t seen each other in over 10 years. I don’t know her enough anymore to know if I like her.”

Jack just hums. “Look, I…”

“You what?” Silence. “Jack.”

“Amelie and I got pretty close with Isabelle beyond her being our wedding planner. Maybe it’s because she’s close to our age or just easy to get along with. I think…she never told us directly, but I think something happened, Z.”

“What do you mean something happened?”

“Well, I wasn’t there, but her and Amelie went out for casual drinks once to plan some stuff out and Amelie was, you know, casually asking her about relationships and if she ever dreamed of her own wedding, and she got super…not defensive. But Amelie said it was like a switch turned on. All she said is that at some point she did, but she’s not at that point of her life anymore, and then she immediately changed the topic. It’s none of my business, I get that, but she’s also my friend, Z. Just…look out for her, okay?”

“Of course I will,” Trevor promises as Jack slows down in front of Belle’s house. They both climb out of the car and Trevor grabs his backpack, duffle and garment bag from the backseat.

“Thanks for driving.” Trevor embraces his friend in a tight hug.

“Anytime,” Jack says. “Thanks for everything this last week. And just in general. I love you.”

“Love you too, man. Have fun on your honeymoon.”

Jack smiles. “Thank you. You two drive safe, eh? Let Amelie and I know when you're back in New York.”

Trevor just nods, before walking up to the front door and knocking. Within seconds, Belle opens the door with a wide smile. She looks beyond Trevor’s shoulder and waves at Jack as he drives away.

“Hi!”

Trevor can’t help but smile at her energy. It’s infectious. “Hey, Belle. Are you sure you don’t mind letting me crash for the night? I can always get Quinn to come get me later.”

She opens the door wider to let him in. “It’s not a bother at all. As long as you’re good with sleeping on the floor.” He just waves her off, setting his duffle and backpack down and looking around at the barren household. “I would give you a tour, but there’s really not much to see anymore.”

“You need any help?”

She smiles at him sweetly. “I have some boxes in the garage that you could help me move?”

He’s eager to help, until he lifts the first box, grunting about how heavy it is. Belle just chuckles, because why else had she not moved these in her car yet? If she has a professional hockey player volunteering to help her move, then she might as well put him to use, right? Trevor just rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but let a smile peek through at hearing Belle’s giggles. Once the car is packed (it takes longer than usual, as they stand out in the driveway and in the garage inbetween moving, chirping at each other and catching up), they realize it’s getting close to dinner time especially if they want to get an early start in the morning. Trevor asks what she wants to have (“as your last night living in the state of Michigan”) and she lights up, dialing up the place of her favorite Asian fusion takeout place. Trevor tries to hand over his card but she smacks it out of his hand, glaring at him while still on the phone. 

It’s a nice day outside, so they decide to venture out and have dinner on the front porch that she’s going to miss very much, leaning their backs against the panels of the house, sitting a comfortable 4 feet apart, Trevor’s knees pulled up and Belle with her legs outstretched and ankles crossed. He watches as she looks out at the sunset painting the quiet residential street, which is even more stunning than usual. If you listen closely, you can hear the sounds of kids gleefully screaming and dogs barking here and there. For a moment, Trevor feels like he’s intruding as Belle continues staring out, lost in her own world. Her focus only shifts a few minutes later when a car rolls up with their take out, as she jumps up and accepts the food with a gracious smile.

He helps her open boxes and suddenly there’s a generous spread of food between them as they start eating.

Trevor breaks the silence. “You never told me why.”

“Why what?”

“Why you’re leaving Michigan.”

She’s in the middle of stuffing a crab rangoon in her mouth. She chews and swallows for a couple of seconds. “It’s a long story.”

“I have nothing but time if you want to share.”

“I lied. It’s not really a long story. Just a sad one. That’s just my go-to when people ask.”

“You don’t have to lie to me. Ever. But you also don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

She lets out a deep sigh. “I was supposed to get married earlier this year.”

He blinks. Once. twice. And he’s speechless for once in his life. She barrels on. 

“Nate and I…I met him at UMich my junior year. I had full plans to leave Michigan right after college. Not that I don’t love it here, but I just wanted to go home. But he got an offer here after graduation and I found a gig working for a great wedding planner so I stayed. And it was good. The brief stint in Santa Ana I mentioned was because of his job, so we moved out there. But I really didn’t mind. I actually really enjoyed California.” She picks at her fingernails, “He proposed to me the beginning of last year, a week before we were gonna move back to Michigan. And I was happy. Really happy. So many years I had been planning other people’s weddings and I was finally going to have my own with someone I loved.”

“Belle, you don’t have to-”

She waves him off. “The day of our cake tasting, we were running late and he was in the shower and I grabbed his phone to put in my bag. And there was a text that flashed on my lock screen. ‘Missed you, baby. See you tonight’ and that was it. He had been cheating on me for almost a year. I moved out that night and crashed with a friend for a few weeks before finding this place. Grabbed my shit when I knew he was gone during the day at work. Canceled all of the deposits. Gave the ring back.” She chuckles, albeit sadly. “Funny. The week after I found out, I had my first consultation with Amelie and Jack and honestly, throwing myself into their wedding planning may have saved me, not that they know that. Anyways, yeah. That’s why I’m leaving Michigan. I honestly would’ve done it sooner but I had to stick it out for those two. They deserved it.”

Trevor’s silent for a couple more moments. “Promise me something.”

“What?”

“If we see him out and about, point him out so I can kick his ass.”

Her chuckle comes out broken but genuine. “Connor was real close when I told him. I was afraid he’d just start driving here. So you’d have to get behind him in line.”

“Gladly,” he scoots closer to her and offers an arm. She collapses into his side. “God, Belle. I’m so sorry. No one deserves that, least of all you.”

She sniffles. “It’s okay.”

“No, Belle. It’s not okay. What an asshole.” He can feel tears on his shirt and he starts rubbing her back in soothing circles. “You deserve someone to love you just as much as you love them. Someone to put you above all, who views your love and presence as a privilege. Because it is a privilege. I would know.”

She snorts, still sniffling. “You made fun of me all the time when we were younger.”

“Nah ah ah. Connor did. I didn’t. And that doesn’t mean I didn’t know how lovely you were even back then. Why do you think Connor and I were so against you going on a date with that guy…what was his name?”

“Trent.”

“Yeah. Trent. First of all, just sounds like a douchebag.”

“And Trevor is so much better?”

“Second, because he was an ass. We didn’t terrorize you about it just because. We terrorized you about it because we knew he had cheated on his ex-girlfriend.”

“Maybe if you had ever met Nate, you could’ve sniffed out his bullshit right away. Took me around 6 years to figure it out.”

“You’ve always had good judgment, Belle. No need to blame yourself when you did nothing wrong.”

“Did I though?” She whispers. “Do nothing wrong, I mean. What if-what if I was working too much or I wasn’t attentive enough or I didn’t-”

Trevor shakes his head adamantly. “Belle, no. Stop. Absolutely not. You did enough. You were enough. I’m not gonna sit here and let you pick apart yourself unfairly. You stayed in Michigan for him. You moved to Santa Ana for him. You gave all you had. And he’s the one who fucked it all up. That’s not on you.”

She signs, a bit defeated but musters a small smile. “Thanks, Trevor.”

“Of course.” He stuffs a piece of sushi in his mouth.

She shoots him a small smile that has him swallowing roughly. “Nonetheless, I’m really happy we ran into each other. It’s been nice to have a slice of home back in my life again.”

Trevor just smiles, staring into her warm eyes. “Me too.”

…..

It’s hour two into the 10 hour drive when she breeches the subject again. 

“Connor never liked him.” Trevor turns to look at Belle, who has one hand on the wheel casually. He automatically turns the music down as she continues. “He tried to get along with him, for my sake. But Connor was never sold. I always thought it was just him being a protective older brother. When I asked why, he always just gave some vague answer. Didn’t like his vibe, or whatever. It’s been hard not to agonize over now. If I should’ve just listened to him from the start.” Trevor doesn’t know what to say, but just faces her fully so she knows that he’s listening. She lets out a heavy breath as she puts her sunglasses atop her head. “I never asked. How’s your love life?”

Trevor snorts and the playfulness is back in the air again. “Well, not married like Connor is. I’ve had a couple things here or there. Clearly nothing that’s stuck.”

“Any particular reason why?”

He shrugs, suddenly feeling a bit small even though he knows that’s not her intention whatsoever. “I think when people date me, they don’t necessarily want all of me, you know? They want the jokester and the charmer. They don’t want the shifts in mood or the obsession of figuring out why I’m in a scoring drought or the insecurities.”

Belle hums sympathetically. “I think you just haven’t found the right one yet.”

“You sound like Quinn.”

She laughs. “From the small amount of interactions I’ve had with him, I’d say that sounds pretty on brand.” She shrugs. “You have time though. We all do. If that’s something you even want.”

“What? Marriage?”

“Yeah.”

“I do, I think. Want that, I mean. It’s just…hard. And scary. The thought of giving someone all of you? That’s giving them a lot of power.”

“I get it,” she says. “God, I really get that.”

“Is marriage not something you want anymore?”

She sighs. “I don’t know. I think I still do. It’s just…it’s still too soon, you know? And I don’t know if I have the energy to, like you said, give someone all of me again. I got hurt once. I don’t know if I can afford that again.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re one of the best people I’ve ever known. So anybody would be lucky to love you.”

And shit, that kinda slipped out. His heart starts racing as she looks at him briefly in surprise. “That’s…that’s very kind of you, Trevor. Probably too big of a compliment.”

“Not too big of a compliment,” he automatically responds, digging himself into a deeper hole that he can’t even decipher. If he thinks about it too hard, he would realize that this is the most open he’s been with someone outside of his tight circle in awhile. And a week ago, she hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“You know, you were my favorite out of Connor’s friends back then.” 

A pang of satisfaction touches his heart and he’s grinning. “Yeah?”

Belle rolls her eyes at his slight smugness. “Don’t let that get to your head.”

“Too late.”

“I don’t know. I just..liked how friendly you were to everyone you encountered. I don’t think there was ever a time when you came over and didn’t strike up a conversation with me. Even though I was quiet and shy, you still always treated me like a person.”

“I feel like that’s the bare minimum, no?”

She shrugs. “Now that we’re in our late twenties, sure. But back when we were 12, 13 years old? You’d be surprised.” 

He watches her drum her fingers against the steering wheel, the patterned bandana in her ponytail swinging with the wind, wispies from her ponytail framing her face. If he looks hard enough, he can see 10 year old Belle sitting on the sofa in the Holloway’s living room, a sketchbook on her lap and a glass of apple juice next to her. If he listens hard enough, he can hear her humming to ‘Love Story’ as he leaves Connor’s room to walk past her room in the hallway to the bathroom. Maybe he can even smell her vanilla body spray that used to always filter out of her room if he breathes in deeply enough. 

All he can see and hear and feel is his childhood self. Looking at her makes him feel blissfully young, a bit naive and incredibly out of his depth. 

She casts him a casual glance. “You good?”

Trevor grins easily. “Never better.” 

It’s hour five after stopping for lunch. Trevor’s behind the wheel now and her legs are up on the seat with her as she stares out the window, her chin on her knees. He has an urge to put a hand on her knee. To comfort her or to let her know that he’s there, he doesn’t know. But he refrains. 

“Belle?”

“Hm?” 

“Can I ask you a question?”

She turns to face him, chin still on her knees. “Should I be nervous?”

He snorts. “No. I’m just a dumb hockey player. What could I possibly say that would catch you off guard?”

“You’re not dumb. And plenty. You knew me when I was 13 and in my awkward phase. That’s longer than most of the people I’ve seen in the last five years. What’s your question?”

Okay, Trevor can dissect all of that later. ““Are you going to miss Michigan?”

She lets out a thoughtful hum. “I’ll miss parts of it. I loved going to college at Michigan, made a lot of friends from college and work. And I grew up a lot here. Not to mention, Michigan’s almost unfairly beautiful. I’ll also weirdly miss my porch a lot. But also, it’s tough driving around with thoughts of Nate at every corner. Because he’s present in practically all the memories I have here. So I’m glad I’m leaving because I know I need to.” He turns to her quickly and sees her lip quiver. Almost as if he had imagined it, she offers a small smirk. “That’s the question you were so afraid to ask me?”

He sputters out a laugh. “What does that mean?” He asks defensively. 

She shakes out her hair to redo her ponytail. "You never had a problem asking anything to anyone back in the day.”

“Things change.”

She pauses for a split second before tying up her hair and looking at him. “They do. I’m sorry for assuming they don’t.”

Hour eight and they’ve been in a comfortable silence for a bit now. One can only talk for so long, even someone as chatty as Trevor. Belle’s behind the wheel again and her phone is plugged in playing music. The playlist he had put on initially has cycled through and without asking, he plugged her phone in and shuffled a random playlist of hers.

He vaguely recognizes Taylor Swift’s voice and looks to see what song it is. ‘The Archer.’ His ears perk up as he listens to her softly sing along, and then, he’s actually listening to the words. 

Belle’s eyebrows are pinched together as she sings about people seeing right through her and how all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put her together again. He wants to offer her a hand to squeeze, a touch for support, but he doesn’t. 

He clears his throat. “So. Santa Ana. What was your favorite part?”

She automatically grins. “All of it? I don’t know. I liked my job. I liked the area. I liked the weather. It felt like a breath of fresh air, in a way.”

“Would you consider moving back?”

“Maybe. I honestly haven’t really thought of anything but leaving Michigan recently.”

He stops asking her questions. He doesn’t want to keep bringing up the pain. 

By the time she rolls into the driveway of Trevor’s childhood home, it’s almost 8 pm. Almost as soon as she kills the engine, the front door opens, revealing both his parents. Julie runs out, only barely letting Belle step out of the car before throwing her arms around her. He smiles fondly as his mother puts her hands on Belle’s cheeks as the younger woman chuckles, before turning to Gary and giving him a quick hug as well. Trevor drags his stuff out of the trunk and shuts it, smiling to himself as he listens to his mother invite Belle and her parents over for dinner the next night and watching Belle nod enthusiastically. 

She then turns to him and it feels like someone has reached into his heart and punched it. She smiles. “Thanks for the company.”

He puts down his duffle and scoops her into a tight hug, only letting her go after giving her a soft kiss on the cheek. “Anytime. See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow.”

(And if he catches his mom giving him an inquisitive look as they all watch Belle back out of the driveway, he doesn’t say anything)

Tomorrow comes and Trevor’s content with mostly being lazy, adjusting to being home and around his parents. It feels weird to be in these walls without Griffin and Ava, but then again, he’s sure it’s one-sided. He moved away when he was so young, leaving behind his supportive parents and his even-more-supportive siblings. They got used to Trevor not being around. 

He’s recapping Jack’s wedding to his father on the patio while his mom is preparing pies in preparation for the Holloways, the mouthwatering smell filtering through the screen door. He smiles as he recalls the week leading up when he went early and was roped into helping out, how beautiful Amelie looked and how he had never seen Jack that excited and happy before, not when he was drafted first overall, not when he won the Eastern Conference Final. He talks about how their vows made Trevor tear up and just how fun it was to celebrate two people he loves. He talks about reconnecting with Belle and briefly brushes over their drive back. He gives vague answers when his parents — mostly his mom — try to pry more, partially because it’s so much that he’s still trying to decipher it himself and partially because some of it isn’t his place to tell. 

An hour later, he can’t help but beam as Belle’s parents greet him similarly to how his greeted Belle the day before. He helps Susan bring in the pasta salad and shakes Kurt’s hand, his slight nerves settling as the first thing Kurt says is how proud of Trevor he is. Belle is the last one who walks through the door, listening to the moms talking animatedly in her ear. She’s wearing a pink floral maxi dress with a denim jacket over her shoulders and she’s glowing. He itches to give her a hug but just settles for a grin instead before turning his full attention to Kurt. 

It’s when the parents are filtering outside does he get a chance to say hello to her as they both hang back in the kitchen. She bumps her hip with his. “Long time no see.”

He pulls her into a side hug. “Hilarious. Want anything to drink before heading out there?”

She eyes the few bottles of wine in the mini wine cabinet. “White wine if it’s not too much of a hassle?”

He opens the fridge and grabs a wine glass. “My mom put a bottle in the fridge earlier. It’s her favorite, so if it’s bad, it’s not my fault.” She takes the glass from him graciously and he grabs a bottle of beer for himself as they both head outside. 

“It’s weird being here without Connor.”

“I was just thinking earlier how it’s weird being here without Griffin and Ava.”

“At least we have each other, right?”

He hums. “Good thing.” She then gets roped into a conversation with his father and he happily takes a backseat, answering when a question is directed towards him but perfectly content in watching her. 

(Julie and Susan, who had never really considered these two as a pair, nudge each other and exchange a few words, watching as Belle laughs while sipping her wine and Trevor just stares at her.

“She was supposed to get married last year. To a guy she met in college.”

Julie’s eyebrows shoot up. “Is that right?”

“Yup. Until she caught him cheating.”

Julie sighs. “I wish we could protect our kids from everything that could hurt them.”

“I do too.” Susan watches her daughter wistfully and lovingly. “She’s always thrown herself into work, But especially after the break-up. You have no idea how relieved I was when she told me she was coming home.”

“Does she know where she’s going next?”

“Not that I know of. For the first time in her life, she doesn’t know.”

“She’ll be okay,” Julie says confidently, rubbing her old friend’s shoulder. “I’ve never had any doubt about Belle.”

“But you had doubt in the others?” Susan teases as Julie snorts. “All our kids are doing well for themselves, but you have one who is the definition of achieving their childhood dream.”

Julie sighs thoughtfully, looking at Trevor. “He’s done well for himself, I think.”

“You think?”

Julie just smiles, clinking her glass against Susan’s.)

Meat is grilled, salads are tossed and food is eaten as the sun fades away. Sometime between sunset and when the sky becomes black, the fireplace is lit and the outdoor lamps are turned on. Trevor switched to water after his second beer, liver still trying to recover from the wedding festivities. 

Trevor finds Belle sitting by the edge of the pool with her feet dipped in, sandals to the side of her. Her hands are folded on her lap as she stares down, occasionally kicking her feet a bit to make the water ripple. He clears his throat so he doesn’t startle her. She looks up and her lips quirk up at seeing him, but they soon fall, as she turns back to the water and tilts her head to the side, taking a deep breath. 

Trevor licks his dry lips. “Come with me?”

“Where are we going?” She asks, accepting the hand he offers as she gets up and slips on her shoes, adjusting her dress. 

“You’ll see. We won’t be long.” Wordlessly, they go around the side of the house to go to the driveway. He catches his mom’s eye and just offers a small smile. Julie’s eyes flicker between him and Belle before she nods. Belle doesn’t say anything as Julie tosses her son the keys to her car, letting Trevor lightly tug her along by loosely intertwining their hands. He opens the passenger door for her and she gives him a grateful look as she slips in. 

He hasn’t been to his intended destination in at least five years, but he knows the route all the same, easily driving the seven minutes. He sneaks a glance or two at Belle as the minimal streetlights light her face aglow for a few seconds at a time. Before he overthinks it, he reaches out and grabs her hand gently, waiting for her to pull away. She doesn’t, instead lacing her hand with his and squeezing once. 

“I haven’t been here since I was in high school,” Belle says as Trevor kills the engine, the tranquility of the small lake and lookout everyone who grew up in Bedford called “Pink Sun” due to the incredibly beautiful sunsets one could see if they were lucky, no one knowing that it’s actual government name was. He’s almost confident that this specific lookout is private property, due to the string lights adorning the trees meticulously that seem to always be on, but whoever owns the property clearly doesn’t care. He would come in the summers from time to time with friends like Connor after he moved away for hockey, but he knows he didn’t experience it the same way as others did.

“Which tree did you have sex under?” Trevor asks as they get out of the car and open the trunk. He quickly fluffs up the two pillows his mom has in the car at all times and pulls the blanket over them both as they get comfortable.

She chuckles and Trevor immediately smiles at the sound. “Gross.”

“What? Isn’t that what people did?” She just lightly slaps him before they both fall into a comfortable silence again. She takes her hand from under the blanket and reaches out to find Trevor’s. He offers his hand immediately. It feels like the most natural thing in the world. 

She starts sniffling, and when he turns to her, concerned, he sees tears rushing down her face. He immediately wraps his arms around her and maneuvers her so that she’s crying into his chest. He tries to be steady for her shaking body, rubbing her back and muttering sweet nothings to assure that he’s here and she’s not alone. He places a couple of kisses on top of her head without thinking because there’s a split down the middle of his heart that’s widening everytime she whimpers.

She cries. The water ripples. Trevor holds her close. 

…..

The entire time Trevor’s back home, he doesn’t go more than a day without seeing Belle. They get ice cream, sitting in the chairs that haven’t been replaced in at least 30 years and giggling as the ice cream drips over their fingers. They go back to Pink Sun to watch the sunset. Because this whole month has him feeling nostalgic, he goes back to his old rink in Stamford and she tags along, indulging him as he pulls up his hoodie over himself as they watch the last 15 minutes of a game the AAA team that Trevor used to be a part of is playing in. Some of the front office staff is still the same and they all immediately beam when seeing Trevor. He chokes up a bit when talking to some of them. He’s missed it here more than he thought he would. 

After training sessions, he just shows up to her house without any warning. They take a lot of drives, passing by landmarks they know well and ones they don’t know at all. They spend hours chatting on the porch of her parents’ place, waving at neighbors as they walk by and petting their dogs. She doesn’t cry in his chest again, but there are stretches of silence where she craves a comforting shoulder. Trevor doesn’t hesitate to offer his. 

He learns more about why she enjoys wedding planning and her time in Michigan. She learns more about how his goals have changed the longer he’s been in the league and his time in Anaheim. They both talk about times they feel like they’ve had their heart ripped to pieces and he finds himself admitting things he’s never admitted out loud to anyone — not Jamie, not Jack, not Cole, not Alex. 

He wonders to himself how he’s lived this long without her in his life. 

The day Trevor has to leave for Anaheim, she offers to drive him to LaGuardia, smiling as he hugs his parents goodbye in the driveway, promising to see them soon when the Ducks are playing in New York. 

She shuts the trunk at the departures drop-off area with a wistful smile. “I’ll miss you, Trev.”

“I’m gonna miss you too.” And then he practically manhandles her into a tight hug, his chin resting on her shoulder, rubbing her back before pulling away. “If you ever wanna come out to Anaheim, there’s always a place for you to stay.”

“I’ll think about it.” With most people, it’s an empty promise. But with Belle, he knows she means it. “Good luck this season. Score some goals, yeah?”

He rolls his eyes, arms still around her waist. “Don’t be a stranger, okay? You have my number. Use it.”

She nods, tilting her head to the side. “Okay.” She presses a kiss on his cheek before he forces himself to let go. She sticks her hands in her jean pockets. “Text me when you land?”

“Of course. Bye, Belle. I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye. Travel safe.”

Trevor forces himself not to look back as he walks through the automatic doors. 

…..

The first roadie of the season includes a stop in Chicago, and Trevor doesn’t hesitate to text Connor. He feels the familiar pang in his heart again, guilty that he hasn’t reached out until now. But when he and Connor meet up for a quick coffee the morning of the game, it washes away quickly. They fall right back to where they were when they were 16, even though they’re both over a decade older and a bit wiser now. Trevor practically shoves two tickets for the game for him and his wife, even though Connor is trying to bat his hand away. 

After the game, the three of them go to dinner and he gets introduced to Ashley, Connor’s wife, who is peppy and fun and he loves seeing her and Connor together. After dinner, Ashley excuses herself to go home as the two of them migrate to a nearby pub. They have years to catch up on. 

“Belle tell you about the break-up?”

Trevor scoffs, taking a hefty sip of his beer. “Yeah. Fucking asshole.”

“Took the words right out of my mouth. When she decided to get the fuck out of Michigan, I was relieved.”

“Yeah?”

Connor sighs. “Yeah. I know she says she stayed because of the Hughes wedding, but I also think it’s because she had a hard time letting go. Which, you know, who can blame her, right?” Trevor just nods sympathetically. Connor leans back, eyes flickering elsewhere for a moment. “Thanks, by the way.”

“What for, man?”

“For looking out for her.” There’s a hint of relief in Connor’s tone. “She’s always been independent, I’m sure you remember. And she has a hard time letting people know that she’s struggling, even if we all see it and want to help. Whatever you did, thank you, man. It’s appreciated.”

Trevor bites his tongue. He wants to say that he doesn’t have to thank him for being a good friend, but Connor is adamant. So Trevor just smiles.

…..

The season’s in full swing, but Trevor makes the effort to keep in contact with Belle frequently. Whether it’s sending a meme or calling on his way to practice, Belle becomes a part of his daily life. 

A month in Bedford now and he can tell she’s getting a bit restless. She’s taken up crocheting, which Trevor loves to make fun of her for. Until he finds a little box on his doorstep and opens it to find a crocheted Wild Wing. He hands it on his rearview mirror in the car. He doesn’t fully realize she’s watching his games until he sees a text from her after a game against New Jersey (“Don’t let Jack hang the win over your head too much. That slapshot was insane.”) and that has him grinning much too widely for someone who just lost.

On Thanksgiving Day, after one of the guys’ families hosts a Friendsgiving for the whole team, he’s back at his place on the couch when she calls him. 

Her face comes up on the screen and he has to smile. “Oh. Hey.” she says gently. “I didn’t actually expect an answer.”

“You just caught me. I just got home from Friendsgiving with the team. Happy Thanksgiving, by the way.”

“Happy Thanksgiving.”

He doesn’t recognize her background. “Where you at?”

“My aunt’s. They’re all watching the game in the basement so I decided to take a break up in the living room.”

“Good food?”

“I’m fucking stuffed,” she admits, making Trevor laugh. “I’m not bad in the kitchen, but nothing beats a good homemade turkey and stuffing.”

“I feel you. So what’s been happening? Haven’t called in a bit.”

“It’s been, like, a week, Trev.”

“Exactly. A bit.”

She rolls her eyes, before leaning back further into the couch. “Actually, I do have news. Kinda.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I, uh, heard back from two people about a job. My old boss from Santa Ana said there’s a spot open for me if I want it. And then my boss in Michigan recommended me to someone in Manhattan, and she called me yesterday and also said I had a job if I wanted it.”

He grins. “Belle. That’s amazing! Congratulations. I’m not surprised though. I know firsthand how damn good you are at your job.”

He sees her blush slightly and he thinks it’s adorable. She twirls her hair around her finger. “Thanks. I’m, yeah. It’s pretty exciting. I’m excited to get back into it again.”

“So. California and New York. Those are two pretty different places.”

She sighs. “Yeah. That’s partially why I called you. Kinda want to get another opinion.”

Before he can stop himself, he snorts. “You’re telling me you haven’t made a pros and cons list already? Don’t think I don’t remember you forcing me to make one when I was deciding if I should go to Avon.”

She tilts her head to the side. “You remember that?”

“There’s not a lot of memories I have from growing up here that don’t have you in them. Of course I remember.”

She bites her lip but Trevor can see the smile peeking through. She clears her throat. “I do. Have a list.”

“So you’ve already made your decision.”

She opens her mouth. Then closes it. “Yes and no. I really do want your opinion, Trevor.”

“Floor’s all yours.”

“I love New York, but I don’t know if I can stay here. If I go back to Santa Ana, is it going to be like Michigan again? I don’t know what Santa Ana is like without Nate.”

“No,” he responds immediately. “It won’t be.”

“How are you so sure?”

“Because Santa Ana is yours, Belle. No one else’s. You said it yourself. You loved your time there. If Michigan doesn’t feel like home anymore and New York feels too much like your past self, California is waiting for you.”

A couple seconds of silence before a small chuckle erupts from Belle. “You take a creative writing class at BU or something? That was actually eloquent.”

If he were next to her, he’d shove her off the couch. He just huffs as she keeps laughing. “My point is, is that you can make fresh starts in familiar areas. Plus, not that I have anything to do with this, but Santa Ana is pretty damn close to Anaheim.”

“Knew you’d say that.”

“I mean, can you blame me? ” He leans back on the couch. “I don’t think you’re incapable of moving on. I think, in a way, you aren’t ready to, and that’s why Santa Ana scares you. You have to and are inevitably going to make new memories wherever you are, but you just have to do it. Take the leap. Dive in the deep end. Whatever the fuck they say.”

And well, that came out a bit harsher than Trevor intended, if the slight flinch on Belle’s face is an indication. But she sighs, “You’re right. I know you’re right. Fuck, Trev. Maybe I shouldn’t have quit and stayed in Michigan.”

“Stop,” he says. “We’re not doing that. Now you have to come out to California. Who else is gonna tell you to get your head out of your ass?” His goal is achieved as she laughs. “Seriously though. Whatever choice you make, you have my full support.”

Four days later, he sees that Belle left him a voicemail in the middle of the game. She’s coming to Santa Ana. Trevor starts organizing the guest room.

…..

Three days into the new year and Trevor finds himself running out of morning skate to drive to LAX. Belle’s staying with him while she looks for her own place, at Trevor’s insistence. He told her she can stay as long as she needs. He hopes she takes that offer seriously. 

He rolls up to the arrivals terminal and idles his car, seeing a text from Belle indicating that she’s still waiting to pick up her luggage. He leans back in his seat, taking a deep breath adjusting the baseball cap on his head, bopping along to the latest playlist that he made for this season.

He’s about to do a drum solo on his steering wheel when he spots Belle come out of the double doors, rolling two suitcases, backpack on her back and a tired but genuine smile on her face. He immediately leaps out of the car, running to lift her up in a hug, making her chuckle. 

“Hey Trevor.”

He kisses her cheek before putting her down. “Belle of the Ball. How was your flight?”

“Good. Long,” she reaches to get her suitcases and he waves her off, lifting her suitcases easily into his trunk as she slips into the passenger seat. She sags into the seat and turns to him with a bigger smile as he turns on the engine. “It’s really good to see you.”

He reaches to ruffle her hair to ignore the funny feeling in his stomach. “Missed you too.”

They catch each other up on what’s been happening since the last time they talked, so only really the last week. Once he turns off the highway, he opens the windows and he periodically glances at Belle, who’s leaning her head on the seatbelt strap as the houses blur by. She tucks her hair behind both her ears and Trevor feels his throat start to close up. 

“Hungry?”

“A bit.”

“Enough to wait a bit so I can cook something up?”

She looks toward him in subdued delight. “You cook?”

“Decently, I’d say.”

“What are you gonna make me?”

Whatever you want, he thinks. “I make a pretty good steak.”

“Well, I’m not gonna say no to a personal chef.”

“Don’t get used to it,” he points at her jokingly. She laughs, but honestly, Trevor doesn’t hate the idea. 

Belle’s car got shipped yesterday to Trevor’s place the week prior, so two days later, when Belle starts work and Trevor has to go to morning skate, they leave the house at the same time after cups of coffee and climb into their own cars, Belle wearing a red sleeveless blouse and white jeans and Trevor wearing a Duck t-shirt and shorts. 

Before she can fully get into her car, Trevor runs around and squeezes her, making her squeal. “Good luck today. You’re gonna kill it.”

“Thanks Trevor. Have fun at morning skate.”

“Are you still cool with a couple of the guys coming over for dinner?”

“It’s your house, dude. You can invite over whoever you want.”

“It’s also your home too,” Trevor insists.

She rolls her eyes fondly. “It’s not. But of course you can have your friends over. I’m excited to meet them.” She gets in her car, but before she shuts the door, she puts her head out. “Do you mind grabbing some orange juice? I think you’re running out and I drink more of it than you do. Just Venmo request me.”

“Yeah, I gotcha. Won’t Venmo request you though,” she opens her mouth to protest but he just taps the roof of her car twice. “We can talk about splitting stuff later. Bye now!”

“Dick,” she mutters as she shuts her door. He chuckles. He lets her back out of the driveway first.

That night, Mason, Jamie and Leo come over and the four of them are finishing up cooking dinner when Belle walks in. A bit flushed and sweaty, she’s nothing but smiles as she slips off her shoes, putting down her bag and introducing herself. She hugs each of them with a sweet smile before finally reaching Trevor. She hugs him like she did with the other three, but he thinks she holds on a bit longer. He smacks a friendly kiss on her cheek, but he catches Jamie’s eye as she pulls away and he knows he’s going to absolutely be grilled about this tomorrow. 

Dinner’s practically ready and the guys just shoo Belle away to the dining table, Leo pouring out a glass of wine for her. They chat and swap stories over chicken alfredo and salad, and Trevor’s content sitting back and watching two different parts of his life come together, not even jumping in to defend himself that much when she recalls some shenanigans from Jack’s wedding. Sure, they at least know of Jack, Alex, Cole and other various members of the NTDP crew who knew him when he was 17 and stupid, but Belle’s known him since they were children. Whether she — or Trevor even — realizes it or not, Belle and Trevor know each other in the purest way. The way only childhood allows, where filters of judgment, insecurities and expectations cease to exist. 

Even with almost two decades lost in translation, Trevor thinks, in a way, Belle might know him better than most. And he might know her better than most.

Which is why he can sense that an hour after dinner, that Belle is exhausted, so he takes the initiative and the guys immediately pick up on it, bidding Belle goodbye and making her promise that she’ll come to a game soon. Once the door shuts, Trevor goes to start washing the dishes, batting her hand away when she tries to help. 

“Trevor. You cooked. I’ll clean.”

“Nope. Go to take a shower. You’ve had a long day.”

“You have too.”

He waves her off. “Go. I got this.” Her shoulders sag in defeat, but she shoots him a thankful smile and heads to shower. 

He’s just about finishing up the dishes and wiping down the counter when she walks back in, an old Michigan t-shirt and flannel pants on. She has her book in her hands but comes by next to him. “Are you sure you don’t need help cleaning up?”

He puts the kitchen towel back on the hook and swings an arm around her shoulder, bringing her against his side. “I’m sure. Where you unwinding for the night?”

“Probably the living room, if you don’t mind?”

“Belle. My home is your home. I mean it. I’ll probably join you after I shower.”

And he does, coming back in afterwards with only the living room light being on. He sees Belle curled up on the couch, engrossed in her book as one of the candles he rarely uses is lit up on the table in front of her. The air smells faintly of pine. 

“Do you mind if I put on some football? I’ll put the volume low.”

She hums. “Not at all.” With her feet in his lap, blanket tucked over both of them, Trevor thinks that he could get used to this. 

…..

Two weeks later, they’re finishing up their takeout when Belle clears her throat. “So I found a place that seems promising.”

Trevor stiffens. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s about 10 minutes from here. Just renting for now, which isn’t ideal. But it’s so soon, you know? I don’t wanna buy yet.”

Trevor understands the latter part, absolutely. But he’s still stuck on the first part of what she said. “When would you think of moving out?”

“At the start of the month.”

“That’s next week.”

She grimaces, washing their utensils. “Yeah. I just…I want to get out of your hair as soon as possible.”

“Belle,” his voice lowers into a serious tone that doesn’t come out of him that often. It works, because it gets Belle to look at him. “If you want to move out, I can’t stop you. It’s ultimately your decision. But I love having you here. So please don’t…don’t think you have to move out to get out of my hair. Because you don’t. I’d love for you to stay and live with me. Full time.”

Belle swallows, searching for something in his face. “You mean that?” She whispers. 

“Of course I do.” He pushes on. “And you know I’m a shitty liar.”

She chuckles as she finishes washing the dishes. On her way to the bathroom, she stops and just hugs Trevor. He welcomes it with a big smile. “You 100% sure?”

“Yes.”

She pulls away with a smile. “Okay. Your porch is better anyways.” 

Trevor laughs, his mind briefly flashing to an image of this place that had been only his for so long one day becoming theirs, with her throw pillows on the couch and fairy lights on the porch and photos of their friends and loved ones hanging on the walls, some they share, some they don’t.

…..

Trevor fully admits it to himself when Christmas rolls up and Belle refuses to go back to New York. 

(“There’s no way I’m leaving you alone for Christmas, Trev,” she insists with an eye roll. “We’ll start our own tradition here. It’ll be great.”)

He doesn’t even try to hide his fondness as he watches Belle teetering at the edge of a chair to hang up lights around their living room. Some random Christmas playlist he had queued up at Belle’s prodding is playing through his speaker, and he doesn’t think “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” deserves the grin plastered on his face. 

Belle, though. She might deserve it. Be the origin of it, really. 

They make too many cookies that they'll have to gift his teammates and her coworkers just so they don’t end up eating all of them. They have holiday movies on in the background for three days straight, some they pay attention to, some they just leave on for background noise. On Christmas morning, after two cups of coffee on Belle’s end to deal with Trevor’s incessant rambling, they’re sat in the front of their tree. The curtains are drawn, offering minimal lighting into their living room. Yet, the twinkling lights on the tree and around their living room paint Belle in the warmest of lights. The blue fluffy blanket wrapped around her shoulders only adds to her softness and Trevor has to excuse himself after they exchange presents to go in the bathroom. 

He splashes cold water in his face and stares at himself. He’s fully in fucking love. Shit. 

…..

After that realization, he does the only thing that makes sense to him. Two days later, on the way to practice, he calls Jack. As the phone rings, he thinks that he probably should’ve checked to see if the Devils were playing today, but he also couldn’t be bothered. 

Three rings later, Jack’s scratchy voice is projected through Trevor’s car. “Hello?”

“Hey dude.”

“You’re cutting into my pre-game nap. This better be fucking good.”

“I think I’m in love with Belle.”

Silence. A rustle on Jack’s end, before, “Jesus Christ. I knew Amelie should’ve taken the day off today.”

“Jacky,” Trevor practically whines. “Be helpful.”

“Give me a second to think and I will be,” Trevor stops at a light. “Dude. I mean, not completely out of left field. But in love love? That’s big. Considering you only reconnected, what, three months ago?”

“Yeah, I know. Am I being stupid? And I need you to be real with me and tell me if I am.”

“No.”

“I’m not being stupid?”

“No, you’re not being stupid. Z, I knew I wanted to marry Amelie, like, two months after I met her, and we weren’t even dating yet. You and Isabelle have known each other since you were kids.”

“Yeah, but we lost touch for over a decade.”

“Okay and? You spent a good amount of time together when you went back home, right? And she lives with you now, right?”

“She was the only one around at home, and we’ve been living together for maybe a month.”

“Dude, are you trying to convince yourself you are in love with her or that you’re not?”

Trevor shakes his head. “Sorry, sorry. Right.”

He hears Jack let out a sigh. “I know you’ve been burned in the past with relationships and stuff, but this is a good thing, okay? She’s a great person. Try not to freak out about it so much.”

“And do what instead?”

“I don’t know,” Jack says sarcastically. “Maybe tell her?”

“Absolutely not,” Trevor says. 

“Why not?”

Trevor’s about to tell him that Belle literally was supposed to be married a year ago but clamps his mouth shut. He’s not sure if Jack knows and that’s not his story to tell. “It’s just not a good idea.”

“Lame.”

“I’m gonna hang up and call literally anyone else.”

“Do it,” Jack challenges the empty threat, before softening. “Do you have any idea if she likes you back?”

“No,” Trevor says. “But I also haven’t been thinking about that because I don’t wanna…scare her off? I know she likes me as a friend, otherwise we wouldn’t be living together. But that’s probably all there is to it.”

“Maybe,” Jack says. “Or maybe you’re making assumptions. I’m not saying you have to do anything now, but you’re not stupid, Trev. Especially with stuff like this. And hey, at least you’re in love with someone as awesome as she is. Ooh, can you imagine you two getting married? It would be full circle!”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Trevor says as Jack chuckles. “Thanks, man. Seriously.”

“Anytime. And Z?” Trevor hums to tell Jack to go on. “Don’t beat yourself up so much. You don’t know until you ask.”

Those last two sentences echo through Trevor’s head for the rest of the day, even when he’s at practice and going through the drills. After so many years in the league, he usually always can leave his thoughts at the entrance of the rink and just focus on hockey. But not today. He can tell Troy wants to ask something, but he refrains. It’s not like a distracted Trevor appears often, and Trevor’s thankful his teammate doesn’t push. 

When the front door swings open that night and Belle calls out her greeting, Trevor is coming back from being outside the last few hours, where he sat and listened to the birds and just stared at the grass, lost in thought. 

Then Belle comes into view, gray sweater over a cream satin dress, tote bag on her shoulder and a tired but bright smile on her face, and Trevor’s not lost anymore. 

In fact, as she slides over to him in her socks across the hardwood floor and hugs him in greeting, immediately talking about what they should make for dinner tonight, Trevor’s never felt more sure of where he is and where he should be. 

…..

Trevor’s on a long roadie during Valentine’s Day, but he makes sure that he delivers flowers to the house before Belle has to get to work. He had spent an ungodly amount of time selecting which bouquet he wanted to send, and Jamie, the saint that he is, had only blinked when he saw what Trevor was looking at on his phone on the bus home from the game before Trevor could lock his phone. 

Imagine if it was Troy. Or Mason. Or fucking Leo, who’s just as much a menace as he was the first day Trevor met him. Everyone loves him and thinks he’s a darling, but Trevor knows better.

He ended up choosing a bouquet from Fresh Sends because the packaging looks sick with the newspaper and the bright colored box and the reviews are all high. Without hesitation, he had picked the largest bouquet, which he knew if Belle knew how much it cost, would probably kick him out of the house or something. But she doesn’t ever need to find out. On the bus, he had hastily typed out a custom note.

Belle, 

Happy Valentine’s Day!! Wish we could be watching shitty rom-coms together but I hope this makes up for it. Thankful to have you in my life again. See you when I get back!

Z

It’s not overly romantic, but he can’t exactly confess his love for her over a note when he’s across the country. If he ever confesses, he’s gonna tell her in person, not hide behind a note like a coward. 

He wakes up on February 14 in a hotel room with a bleary smile as he wipes the sleep away from his face. 

Belle of The Ball

*picture of the flowers*

Trevor!!! these are so so beautiful thank you

You really didn’t have to

Good luck against the Rangers tonight! And tell your parents (and mine) that i said hello❤️

Trevor nets two goals and an assist. He’s on top of the world. 

…..

He’s pleasantly surprised to see that he has an incoming call from Amelie on his way home from the rink a week later. 

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite Hughes.”

Amelie chuckles. “Quinn’s gonna be devastated.”

“Quinner has nothing on you.”

“Flatterer,” she says dryly. 

“What’s up?”

“Jack told me. About you and Isabelle.”

Trevor almost snorts. When he first met Amelie, way back when they were in their early twenties, she had been way more hesitant on giving her opinion among Jack’s oldest friends. But with time, her sarcasm and vivacity came out, and while Trevor had been initially surprised and amused, it made sense. Anyone who would choose to spend their life with Jack Hughes has to be able to hold their own purely to rival his constant need for attention.

“Did he now?”

“You’re the worst. I’m not gonna tell you the same stuff he did, which by the way, I’m actually pretty impressed by. From the recap he gave me, he actually said some useful stuff. But I will say something that he forgot to tell you.”

“And what is that?”

“That you’re wonderful, Trevor.”

That’s not at all what he was expecting to come out of the photographer’s mouth. All he can muster out is an “Oh?”

“Yeah. And obviously Jack believes the same thing. You know that. But you’re such a lovely guy, Trevor. I’ve known that since the day we met, don’t get me wrong. But I-I’ve talked to Isabelle a few times since the wedding, and she always brings you up. And it’s always positive.”

“What does this have to do with my feelings for her?”

“Do you feel like maybe you feel like you’re not good enough for her? Is that partially why you’re hesitating on telling her? Take out the fact that she was in a long relationship before and broke off an engagement.”

He blinks. “She told you about the engagement thing?”

“Yeah. She came out to Jersey to grab dinner with Jack and I, like, two weeks before she moved to California and told us then. That’s not the point.”

He doesn’t remember Belle mentioning that. But like Amelie said, not the point. “I-I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Trevor. You’re one of the best people I know.”

“That can’t be true,” he tries to protest. 

“But it is,” Amelie presses on. “You’re loyal. You’re funny. You have the ability to make anyone feel comfortable, even if you just met them. Your infectious energy elevates every room you walk into. You care deeply about everyone in your life. You were the first of Jack’s friends to be so openly kind to me and you continued to be kind to me even when I didn’t deserve it.” 

“I’m loud. Harsh. Always has to be on the go or I get bored. Life of the party maybe and a fun time usually, but that’s it.”

Amelie scoffs. “Respectfully, shut the fuck up. Okay, you’re all of those things, so what? You think she doesn’t already know? She probably knows better than any of us. I get being hesitant to do anything because she’s maybe on a different page, I get that. But it’s not because you’re not good enough. Get that shit out of your head.”

Trevor has to laugh, both at the abruptness of this call and unbridled honesty from Amelie’s voice. “I’m not gonna lie. Getting chewed out by my best friend’s wife wasn’t on the list of things I expected today.”

“If you think I’m chewing you out now, you’re lucky Clementine doesn’t know about this yet.”

Trevor actually shudders at the possibility of Clementine Sandoval (well, Clementine Hischier as of two years ago but old habits die hard), lecturing him about this. He still remembers Clem’s lectures she would give Quinn, Jack and Luke when they were all in Michigan. They would usually be over the phone, since she was already out in California for school by then, but even at 17, Trevor knew she wasn’t someone to be messed with. Who else in the world, besides Ellen Weinberg-Hughes, can somehow lecture all three Hughes brothers successfully in one breath?

“She doesn’t?”

“Eh, usually she would. But she’s in her last trimester and Nico would kill me if I stressed her out more.”

And well, Trevor thinks that’s fair enough. He quiets again, thinking. “You think we could be a good match? Belle and I?”

“Yes,” Amelie says with no hesitation. “And I’m not going to tell you why, because I’m pretty sure deep down, you already know.” 

He kinda hates that she’s right. Damn, is he this easy to read? He hangs up, but not before promising to give her a call more often. 

As they’re leaving practice, Jamie nudges him with his shoulder. “How’s Isabelle?”

“She’s good. She has a wedding in Santa Monica this weekend so I haven’t seen her that much this week.” 

“She a good roommate?”

Trevor smirks and elbows him lightly. “Better than you ever were.”

Jamie’s jaw drops, indignant. “Hey! I was a great roommate, thank you very much.”

“You were, you were. Nah, she’s great. We did Christmas just the two of us and it was really nice.”

“Just the two of you?”

“Fuck off, Jimmy.”

“I’m just asking! She chose not to fly home and stayed here with you instead. Ever think about what that could mean?”

Trevor has thought about it a lot recently, actually. But Jamie doesn’t need to know that. He lets out an uncommitted noise, but the look on Jamie’s face tells him that he’s not fooling anyone. Least of all, one of his dearest friends. 

Trevor needs to tell her soon. Or get over it. 

…..

Trevor never thought to really ask Belle if she wanted to go to a game, which is weird, because why wouldn’t he want a friend out in the stands to cheer him on? But he also knows that Belle wouldn’t be afraid to just ask if she wanted to go, and that her ideal time to unwind after work isn’t necessarily to go into a rowdy arena. She’s perfectly content snuggling in on the couch and watching the game on TV.

But when he mentions that Cole and the Canadiens are coming into town to play, she perks up. During the whole wedding weekend, Trevor could tell that she got pretty comfortable with Cole. Which, to Trevor, makes complete sense. Cole has the ability to make friends quickly and genuinely anywhere he goes. He leaves a ticket on the counter before heading to morning skate, as well as a note allowing her permission to raid his closet for any Ducks merch she so desires to wear. 

The game is a fun battle that goes into OT, but Leo gets the game winner with an assist from Trevor and the Honda Center goes nuts. Trevor has plans to grab dinner with Cole and Belle, and he’s in good spirits during media before he meets up with Cole and goes outside to where he told Belle to meet them. 

The boys see her before she sees them. Belle’s leaning against the wall of the arena on her phone, one of his jerseys tucked into black jeans and a black blazer completing the look. Cole calls out her name and she immediately puts her phone away with a smile, letting Cole hug her tightly with a chuckle. Trevor trails behind, watching the scene in happiness. Trevor tells Belle where he made dinner reservations, and she gets into her own car to follow them. 

As Trevor watches Cole and Belle talk at dinner, it’s overwhelming, his love for her. Cole’s pulling out some old-school stories from way back during their program days and Belle’s absolutely loving it, pulling out some of her own stories from her college days and Trevor feels so fucking lucky. There’s a particular thing that Cole says that has her coughing up her water and she’s laughing so hard and Trevor feels so fucking fond. 

Tomorrow, he promises himself. He has to tell her tomorrow.

…..

He doesn’t tell her tomorrow. But in his defense, he has to go on a road trip and she’s busy at work. 

Somehow, after dinner with Cole, he had gone to sleep earlier than she did but had woken up before her to a short but sweet note on the kitchen counter. In her cursive, he smiles at her words. 

Trev, 

Thank you for dinner and a fun game <3 Wanted to tell you tonight but by the time I got out of the bathroom you were already in bed (old man). Good luck on your road trip to wherever!! 

Love, 

Belle

He takes the note and folds it carefully, tucking it into his wallet. 

…..

At the end of the day, he ends up just blurting it out. 

He comes home from the road trip to the smell of something absolutely delicious floating through the house. He peeks his head around the corner to see Belle flittering around the kitchen, stirring something in a pot. The oven beeps and Trevor decides to make his presence known. 

“Smells good in here.”

Belle looks over her shoulder and he realizes she’s wearing one of his Ducks hoodies he must’ve had lying around. She beams. “Hey! Welcome home. I felt like making some good old grilled cheese and tomato soup with some roasted vegetables because I guess we need those. Don’t tell your coaches if this fucks up your diet-”

“I love you.” 

And well, shit, because that’s definitely not how he pictured this going. For a split second, he thinks he imagined it. But Belle freezes, her back towards him, and he has no idea what to do.

After what seems like a lifetime, she turns off the stove and turns around. “What?”

Trevor walks forward, “I love you. I’m in love with you. And I know you probably don’t feel the same way and that’s okay! I really don’t want this to change anything between us because I love our friendship. But I-I had to say it because it’s driving me crazy not saying it.”

“Trevor-”

“I know. I know. I’m sorry. Y-you’re such an important part of my life and I really hope this didn’t fuck everything up-”

Belle rushes towards him to put her hands on his shoulders, steadying him. He forces himself to take a deep breath and to stop his hands from shaking, staring at his feet. He’s breathing really fast, but Belle’s orange blossom perfume and touch calms him down ever so slightly. 

“You good?”

He swallows roughly. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” she says softly. He gets the courage to look at her face. He sees her smile and he can’t help but smile too. She clears her throat. “I-I thought it was clear, but I guess I’m out of practice. I feel the same way, Trevor. I like you a lot. Maybe not…love. Yet. B-but you’ve become my favorite person. And these last few months have been so…lovely. I just-I haven’t said anything because I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”

“That’s okay,” Trevor rushes to assure. Because holy shit, she likes him back? This was farther than he thought he was going to get. He chuckles lightly. “I…shit. Sorry. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact you like me like that.”

“Trevor,” she trails her hands down his arms to grab both of his hands. “Of course I do.”

“Oh,” he says softly. 

Belle’s eyes water, and Trevor immediately feels the surge to make her feel better. “But I don’t know if I’m ready, Trev. I don’t know when I will be. And I can’t be the asshole and ask you to wait.”

“Why not?” Trevor challenges.

Belle looks at him incredulously. “Because that’s unfair.”

“Well too bad. Because I’m not gonna listen to you.”

“What?”

“As long as you need. Take your time. I mean it. And when you’re ready, I’ll be here. I promise.”

She bites her lip, “Trevor, you can’t possibly promise something like that.”

“I can, actually. And I will.”

She opens her mouth, then closes it, before laughing. She squeezes her eyes shut as he places his hands on her cheeks to cup her face. “Okay.”

He raises an eyebrow playfully. “You’re not gonna fight me?”

She shakes her head. “You’ve never been the kind of person to back down.”

He laughs and he so wants to kiss her. But he doesn’t, instead just placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. “You’ll let me know when you’re ready?”

“If you’re still around,” she jokes. 

Trevor grins, his heart growing four times its size. He feels like it might explode out of his chest. “I’ll always be around for you.”

[starspilli]

hey hi hello sorry if this is an annoying ask and ofc no pressure to answer it but I'm getting into the dc fandom and want to read some of the comics but am completely lost as to how/in what order/which ones to avoid/which ones to read. any tips? (also your art is amazing and I love it :D)

hi don’t worry i love this question!! & ty for the lovely compliment :,)

it’s a little hard for me to answer, i’ve been a fan of dc since i was very young & just reading whatever random comics my library had in stock LOL so its hard for me to think what i would do if i was getting into it from scratch & all at once. so just take what i say w a grain of salt lol

a lot of people recommend picking one character and just reading through their whole publication history, but i personally think it’s good to have an understanding of the broader universe first to avoid coming away with a distorted view of characters & stories. (ie i wouldn’t suggest just reading jason todd stories without reading general batman stuff first.)

i think what i would suggest is looking up a few reading guides for essential stuff, seeing what kind of stories, characters, themes etc you vibe with out of those, and then maybe looking more into specific characters / stories from that. the internet & tumblr especially is so great for this because even the most random d-list characters (affectionate) have people who love them so much they will make rly detailed reading lists which are great jumping on points!!

dc can be complicated at first glance because there’s so many reboots, but i’d say there’s a lot of runs that represent the characters & universe so well, or they’re so engrained in the lore that they’re sort of immune to retcons and rewrites so if you stick with those at first it gets a bit easier.

it’s also unfortunate because ‘essential’ reading doesnt always equal quality, and there are writers who really aren’t great people whose work is, unfortunately, very significant to certain characters. so just again. take this stuff with a grain of salt

i think if you look on google the essential reading for dc is very unanimously agreed on so there’s no point in me rehashing that, BUT long halloween & dark victory, all star superman & perez & rucka’s runs on wonder woman are pretty essential basic choices imo and i enjoy them. some more random choices off of my list of personal favs r: batman: the cult, under the red hood (obviously), batgirl (2000), task force z, justice league international (1988), bruce wayne: fugitive, catwoman: zero year, poison ivy (2022), robin: son of batman & john ostrander’s suicide squad.

as for how to read them, i know there’s a lot online but id suggest having a look in your local library to see if they have anything. i also rly like dc universe, they have a £5/month subscription for access to most of their archive which is very good & it lets you download them for offline reading as well !

if there are any characters/runs/stories you specifically would like to know more about pls send me another ask!! i hope this was helpful and not too convoluted/rambling lol. i love comics & talking about them so i never mind anons asking questions or wanting to talk about them god bles

[avatarrecom]

Day 8: Voyeurism

Pairing: Poly!recoms x Recom!reader

Word count: 1k

A/N: First time writing smut, so it probably sucks lol. If you check my Kinktober masterlist, you'll see I planned 4 breaks, sorry if you were looking forward to the prompts of those days.

This time it's not headcanons, but short stories. I got carried away with Z-dog and Walker lol 🤣

Also, please let me know what you think of the Kinktober stories I've posted so far?

Kinktober masterlist

🌍 Recom Miles Quaritch & 😈 Recom Lyle Wainfleet Miles was punishing Lyle by fucking you with him in the room. He forced your head into the pillows, you look over and see Lyle watching you. You’re being told to hold eye contact with him as you fall apart, letting Lyle know that Miles is the one who’s making you cum, not him. You hear Miles comment on how well you're doing, how good you look getting fucked to tears. Miles backs off to let Lyle see how stuffed your pussy is with his cum, how it’s dripping down your thighs. Suddenly Miles snaps at Lyle to get his hand out of his pants, otherwise he’s tying him to the chair. Then Miles pulls you on his lap, facing Lyle and slips his still hard cock back into you.

🍬 Recom Z-dog & 🥽 Recom Walker You and Z-dog had decided to take a shower together after the grueling workout Miles had put you two and the other Recoms through. But of course, even though you two were exhausted, Z-dog couldn’t keep her hands to herself. She pressed herself against your back and let her fingers gaze over your hardening nipples. You protested, but when she began pressing hot kisses against your neck, you surrendered to her touch. You got so lost in the feeling of Z-dog against your back, her lips on your neck and her hands caressing your body, that you didn’t notice someone walking into the showers. You both flinched when you heard the shower next to you turn on. Your heads turning to look at whoever interrupted you, you saw Walker standing under the shower, smirking at your two. “Well don’t stop on my account,” she teased. You feel Z-dog smirk against your skin before she continues what she was doing. You relish in the warmth at your back and the pleasure she’s giving you, but your front feels cold. You whine and reach out for your other lover. Walker laughs softly and presses a kiss on the palm of your hand, “in a minute, beautiful, I want to enjoy the show for a bit.” You grin in response and you reach back to tug at Z-dogs mohawk while grinding your ass into her. She slides her thigh between your legs and you finally feel the friction you’ve been wanting. You arch your back while riding Z-dogs thigh, you two putting a pussy dripping show on for Walker.

🧯 Recom Prager & 😎 Recom Mansk Prager has been fucking you into overstimulation for what feels like hours. Both of you have totally lost track of time, lost in pleasure. Neither of you noticed the door open or the Recom that currently stood in the doorway. You roll your head to the side when another orgasm floods over you. That is when you notice Mansk standing in the doorway. “Prager,” you moan. Prager grunts in response, not lifting his head from where it rests in the crook of your neck. “Prager,” you call again. He lazily lifts his head, still pounding into you, “what?” he slurs, completely pussydrunk. You jerk your head in Mansk’s direction. Prager's eyes fall on the stoic Recom and he cocks his head, while a grin appears on his face. “Come to join us?” he asks, while thrusting harder into you, causing you to moan loudly. You vaguely notice Mansk shrugging and taking a seat. You feel Prager’s cock twitch in you while he changes your position and tells you to show Mansk how cute you look.

🧢 Recom Brown & ⛓️ Recom Fike Brown had woken you up in the middle of the night, horny. Luckily for him, you were too. Neither of you wanted to wake Fike up, who was sleeping cutely next to you two. Both of you were to lazy to get up and fuck somewhere else, so you just desided to stay in bed, hoping that you wouldn’t wake your other lover up. But unfortunately, you both got lost in pleasure and staying quiet became less and less important. You let out an extremely loud moan when Brown hit that delicious spot inside of you. Both of you stiffened when you felt Fike shift. You thought you were in the clear, until you heard his voice. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” Fike pouts. Brown hums, “I’m sorry baby, but you were sleeping so cutely.” You nod in agreement and you stroke your fingers over his cheek. “You still look so tired baby.” Fike nods sleepily in agreement, but he sits up anyway. “I can still watch,” he says, but it sounds more like a unsure question. You and Brown grin. Shifting, you put your head in Fike’s lap, while Brown climbs back on top of you. Both of you are determined to put on a good show for your sweet anxious baby.

📿 Recom Lopez & ⚕️ Recom Ja You and Lopez had been bugging your other lover, Ja, to join the two of you for movie night. But since you had only just woken up as Recombinants, Ja, being the always concerned medic, was currently doing thorough research about the anatomy of your new Na’vi bodies. After sharing a grin with Lopez, you two decided that if a movie night couldn’t convince Ja to stop working for a while, you would find another way. Lopez quickly took off your clothes before he pushed you flat on the bed and crawled between your thighs. The moment you felt his mouth on your core, you let out a filthy moan. You see Ja’s head snap in your direction and grin, finally you had his attention. But Ja doesn’t get up to join you two, he simply puts away his books and leans back into his chair. You let out a frustrated groan. Lopez peers up at you from between your legs and shoots you a questioning look. You raise an eyebrow and jerk your chin in an annoyed motion at Ja. Lopez looks up and pouts when he sees Ja putting away his book, but still not joining you two. “Don’t stop on my account,” Ja grins. “If you put on a good show I might be tempted to join you. Lopez grins, before diving back into your cunt, causing you to moan again.

[swifty-fox]

Hi! It's me again.

I was about to start reading your Little Beast fic, because, God, I wait a whole week to read the new chapter of kfak and just end up reading it all in one go 'cause I just can't stop once I start. But as I was saying, I just began Little Beast and realized you seem to read a lot, judging by all the beautiful quotes you put in the opening of every new chapter of kfak. I read the whole Richard Siken book just because of you (got blown away by the quote on chapter 16 and realized I had to read it all).

All this just to ask: do you have any recommendations of books that you love? Specially ones that somehow relate to your writing. I'd be delighted to get recommendations from you!

Hello!!! oh I hope you enjoy Little Beasts it is a very different flavor to kfak LOL

I actually read far less than you think I'm just very good at themes. Richard Siken is always a good choice but often what I am doing is googling quotes about a certain theme or feeling of the chapter! or for some of them a book or poem is features in the chapter so I try to steal a quote from that.

Always always always Richard Siken, but Poppy Z Brite is a HUGE style influence for me. Drawing Blood and Exquisite Corpse are some of my favorite books ever. Evening Crowd at Kirmsers by Richard Brown has been a great read while writing KfaK. While not very quotable it was a HUGE point of reference for perceptions of gender and sexuality during the 40's especially when it came to what was considered acceptable or not in terms of masculinity and heterosexuality.

books I've enjoyed recently:

The Haar by David Sodergren (horror)

Wilder Girls by Rory Power (horror)

Evening Crowd At Kirmsers by Ricardo Brown (autobiography)

Peter Darling by Austin Chant (Transmasc retelling of the Peter pan tale)

The End of Billy Knight by Ty Jacob (Fiction book following a gay porn star in the 80's. A tough read at times but has a happy ending)

Teeth by Hannah Moskowitz (sort of?? a horror. tw for themes of sexual assault and child abuse)

Haven't read it recently but this is my all time favorite comfort book:

An Olive Grove at the Edge of the World By Jared Gulian (autobiography)

the author is such a sweet man who I email with from time to time

My dear friend @katy-l-wood is a deeply talented queer author who just released a book Camp Daze! can't recommend her stuff enough

Fealty of Monsters by Ladz another author friend of mine you should be checking out!

@stereobone always has some good book recommendations as well

[erisenyo]

Hey there, can I ask how you come up with your OC names?

Anon I am THRILLED you asked because I am about to dump so much in-my-head-only worldbuilding on you, so much more than you probably needed or wanted lol.

As always this is not short, and forgive in advance the butchery I’m about to do of like, all of phonetics and linguistics.

OKAY so generally speaking, when it comes to names I have a set of foundational building blocks/general guidelines for the various countries and I work from there. These are based on phonetic characteristics of the canon names we see, and then from there I'd start layering in additional fun along groupings I've noticed around gender or class or family lines or whatever if I want to take the worldbuilding that deep.

So for example, with the Water Tribes…

We have Sokka, Katara, Hakoda, Bato, Kya all from the South, so I pick out...

Hard K or T sounds being quite common

Primarily A and O as vowels

Vowels being between consonants (ie, being single vowels)

Names being 2-3 syllables

In the North, we see Yue, Hahn, Agna Qel’a, Arnook, Kanna, Pakku...

Some similarities with the Ks and hard Qs

Now we see some softer ‘gn’ and ‘hn’ and L sounds, and the addition of P (which makes Bato’s “B” and Sokka’s “S” stand out)

Some ‘oo’ instead of ‘o’ vowels (so double vowels)

Hahn and Yue with no hard consonant sound at all (and both upper class!)

So that gives us some basic starting blocks to start building up names that sound like they fit within the Water Tribe culture in terms of sounds, as well as some potential regional and class differences to start working with! (Maybe Q sounds are only in the North, and upper-class people have soft consonant names, for example.)

Similarly in the Fire Nation…

The royal family is Zuko, Azula, Ozai, Azulon, Sozin, Iroh, Lu Ten, so...

A lot of Z and K sounds

(Male) names that end in N

A lot of two-syllable names (with the emphasis on the first syllable)

A lot of riffs on each other (Sozin and Ozai, Azulon and Azula, Azulon and Zuko)

Iroh and Lu Ten stand out as having fairly distinct names comparatively, with the “oh” ending and the softer "Ir" and "Lu" starts

Chan, Zhao, and Ruon-Jian are the other upper-class guys we see, which gives us...

short syllables again

N endings (for men) agai

The ‘two word’ name again (so Lu Ten's name naming structure is used elsewhere)

The introduction of “Ch” and “J” and “R” and double-vowel sounds (ao, uo, ia)

We also see Roku and Kuzon...

So very similar names to our royal bunch with those Ks and Zs and oku/uko and uzon/ulon sounds

Also older names from 100+ years ago, and commoner names

Mai, Ursa, Ty Lee as our upper-class ladies gives us...

short syllables again

‘two word’ names again

M sounds!

Mai and Ursa both don't have a hard consonant stop

Some phonetic/vibey similarity with “Mai” and “Ty”

And adding in Chit Sang (another commoner!) (presumably!)...

Another two-word name

Introduces the ‘ng’ ending

Leverages a lot of the consonant sounds we already saw

Uses an “it” usage of the "I" vowel (vs Iroh’s I)

So pulling it all together, in addition to those foundational consonant and vowel sounds, we also see that the royal family has a distinct naming convention that may be rooted in archaic naming styles.

And we can start to build out some ideas around gendered naming, family/honorific naming, and some potential class/pre-unification culture differences, as well as some space to speculate about why Iroh and Lu Ten’s names are so different from the rest of the royal family, too (as well as the ammunition to suggest that Zhao comes from a family of suck-ups lol)

Moving onto the Earth Kingdom (where I truly went wild)…

We start off with Toph, Haru, Long Feng, Kuei, Jet, Bumi, Poppy, Lao, and there's a lot of varability here!

Generally, the names are one or two syllables and start with a consonant

We see more double-vowel pairs (uei, ao), perhaps in the upper class but just as many single vowels

Consonants are hard or soft, and don't seem to group like the Water Tribe or FN royals did around particular sounds

Names end in vowels or hard sounds or softer 'ph' and 'ng'

Those guardrails are fairly wide and broad for feeling out distinct-sounding names, but it makes sense given how huge the Earth Kingdom is and its history of war, displacement, movement, etc.

So for a fic like That Love You've Been Looking For which was super EK-centric and focused on worldbuilding, I ended up breaking it down into broad regions and leaning into place names as well to help articular some basic rules:

In the southwest (Gaoling, Toph, Lao, Poppy), I decided that there’d be a mix of single and two-word names, and that the ‘ph’ ending would be used by women and the ‘ng’ ending for men

On the western coast (Haru, Omashu, Bumi), I went with primarily two-syllable names that follow a ONE-two pattern (PA-lo, BU-mi, CHE-lu, HA-ru) and went with mostly softer consonants

In the north (Ba Sing Se, Si Wong Desert, Long Feng), I went with short multi-word names where each part would be a single syllable

And in the center I was kind of pulling it together from what was left, but I went with names that end with an ‘an’ or ‘in’ sound and echoed some of the place names I was using

So we have some building blocks for the various regions, this time that we can use to indicate where someone’s family could be from and to give each region a more specific feel.

For Kyoshi...

I generally lift the Earth Kingdom rules, but view it as more of a trade-center and melting pot (Suki could fit in WT or FN rules), so it's deliberately a lot looser and with more variation.

And everywhere has a Lee/Li, so none of these rules are hard and fast, and I imagine too that there’s a ton of cultural mixing and fads and trends and whatnot in naming across various regions.

A quick note from a process standpoint--

This approach is very much not trying to find names within various existing real-world cultures. If I'm writing ATLA canon-world, I tend to stick to the idea of leveraging real-world contexts as a base rather than a strict guide. Something I wanted to flag, as there are other ways to go about OC naming that lean much more heavily into researching the naming conventions of various cultures throughout history, thinking about translation and name meaning, etc.

And also, if I need a lot of names, I'll often use the Fantasy Name Generator and look for names that either fit or that I can tweak into the above 'rules.' (Otherwise I accidentally start giving people ship names lol, RIP to Mailee, Maizula, and Yutara, you lived on under new personas)

I also don't always dig as deeply into the way names can signify class or status or whatnot, either. It can be very fun, but sometimes you just need a one-off name so your POV character looks like they actually interact with the people they nominally see every day haha

[losingherface]

NSFW alphabet with Ellie ^_^:

A/n: Something different and i like reading these so why not

•

A/Aftercare (How is ellie after sex): Ellie is gentle after sex, typically placing you as the little spoon and herself as the big spoon, after a shower, she also throws a comfortable blanket over the two of you.

B/Body part (Fav body part on herself and you): On herself, Ellie loves her arms and how strong they are. On you, she loves your curves, specifically your thighs and is always touching them. Also to her, you’ve got a gorgeous face.

C/Cum (Cum stuff lmao): Um lots of cum everywhere.

D/Dirty secret (Ellie’s dirty secret…)- She would like to maybe tie you down completely someday but she’s too scared to ask

E/ Experience (how experienced is Ellie?) - I think that Ellie would be experienced. She teaches you everything you need to know and is kinda amazing at what she does lol

F/ Favorite position: Ellie likes it when you sit on her face the most but anything with a great view of you is just fine. !

G/ Goofy (Is she serious is she not?)- Ellie’s main goal is to leave you feeling like you’ve left earth and just came back. I think she’s a bit more serious, her woman’s pleasure is not a joking matter! (lol)

H/Hair (Does Ellie have hair basically)- Yes. And it’s so hot

I/ Intimacy- (How romantic is she during the moment)- Ellie is only romantic before and after, during, you pretty much should just expect aggressive ellie

J/Jack off (masturbation)- Ellie masturbates only when you’re gone. She’s walked in on you masturbating plenty of times and always finishes the job

K/Kink- Ellie loves seeing you vulnerable and mushy under her, she likes tying you up, spanking you if you want and sometimes she leave a soft little -I love you- slap on your face after making you cum.

L/Location- (where does Ellie like to do it?) - Ellie likes it in her little house but if it’s time then it’s time, she’ll do it anywhere privately.

M/motivation(What gets Ellie in the mood)- Seeing you do daily activities without a bra, like for example bending over to pick something up. Or reaching to the cabinet and seeing your hard nipples and boobs move- Yeah, makes ellie crazyyyy

N/No (She’s not doing this)- Knife play, Being rude/calling you out your name unless it’s a cute pet name lol

O/Oral- Ellie likes giving, on occasion though, she’ll let you go down on her.

P/pace (Is she rough? Slow?) - Ellie is rough, sometimes too rough you’ll have to tell her to stop. But you love it

Q/Quickie (Does she like sex being quick ) - No! She likes to take her time with you. She’ll probably tease you or something but that’s it. You’ll have to wait until the both of you get home.

R/ Risks (any risks?)- Not from ellie,but from you. In public you love to flash her (W consent ofc) Um i guess that’s pretty risky

S/Stamina (How many rounds can she go?) - After she’s done with you, she could go again and again. She loves seeing you a mess after everything

T/Toys (does she own any sex toys like a strap) - Yea she owns like two and only uses it when she reallllyyyyy wants to be in complete control

U/ Unfair ( How much does she tease you)- When you’re in the mood, she’ll grab your thigh/boobs/ass just to see what you’ll do. Sometimes when the two of you are in bed, she’ll reach her hand down just to get your attention then she’ll turn around and fall asleep

V/volume (How loud is she)- You can be very loud, on the other hand, Ellie isn’t really, she’ll just curse a bit and whisper in your ear. She’ll grunt and moan a bit but that’s it.

W/wild card (Sexual Headcanon for Ellie)- Um she’s top and doesn’t like it any other way. Idk you come up with one of ur own

X/ X ray (What’s going on under her clothes)- Um nice sized boobs lmao quite small, Toned stomach…

Y/yearning (How much does Ellie want sex)- All the time. You even say something in a slight tone, she wants you

Z/ Sleep stuff afterwards- Ellie and you typically talk/cuddle or watch tv after showering after everything. You usually are exhausted so pass out immediately sometimes but it takes her awhile to. she would probably need some food to help her out.

A/n: thx for reading <3

[minheelovelee]

Keum Nsfw A-Z

Warnings: Nsfw. :)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

- He’s such a sweet boy. Right after, he likes to hold you close to his chest. He’s just so happy to be there. He gives you a couple kisses on the head and tucks your hair behind his ears. Then he runs to the bathroom to get a wet washcloth. One time he didn’t realize he used cold water and he felt really bad.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

- His favorite is his torso area. He thinks it looks cool when he cums all the way on his pecs. Lol.

- His fav part on his partner is probably the chest area. He’s an ass guy, but he likes nipples a lot, especially when your shirt is off. He can’t help himself.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

- He doesn’t come inside unless you explicitly tell him to. He wouldn’t even bring it up. He would cum literally anywhere else. On your back, your boobs, your tummy, etc. whatever’s there tbh.

- He doesn’t cum a lot, but he cums FAR. Like he probably does kegel exercises but won’t tell anyone.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

- He likes being choked. Ask him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

- Everyone in Epex is a virgin. Sorry. He watches p*rn for sure. Then he leaves the tab open and doesn’t delete his history. Cool.

- Otherwise no he doesn’t know what’s happening. He’s so happy to be there learning from you though! He really wants to give head btw.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

- The butterfly. He is more than happy to do all the work. You just have to lay there and take it. :)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

- He smiles at you during sex for sure. Not because anything is funny, but because he’s just happy. He’s also awkward, so he’s also uncomfortable smiling during sex, especially the first handful of times.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

- He doesn’t know how to shave.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

- Oh he’s a lover. He pours his heart into everything he does. Fucks you with love. Cooks for you with love. Goes down on you with love. All that.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

- Once a week. If he has time, then he does it more. He doesn’t go a week without cumming though. Unless you told him to.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

- Restraints. He thinks it’s so hot to be left at your mercy. It makes him fall in love tbh. Also would like tying your hands up in different ways. Usually in front where he can see them. He really likes elbows bent with hands in front of your face.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

- The bedroom. He likes the bath too, he doesn’t care if water gets everywhere. He probably fell once in the shower and won’t do it again.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

- Love <3

- No, seriously. He gets turned on whenever he sees his partner doing something intimate or domestic. He’s crazy.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

- Anything involving sharp objects. He just doesn’t want those anywhere near the bedroom. + He doesn’t want to hurt you, badly.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

- He’s so good. And he LOVES it. He would eat pussy every day. He has great control over his tongue and can flick it just right. He doesn’t use his hands unless he’s holding onto you.

- Also sucks dick. He’s not scared.

- He likes getting head too, but he has to return the favor.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

- He’s a sensual guy overall. He switches it up. If he’s needy he can make it quick. But he likes to take his time.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

- He doesn’t mind at all. If he has to leave in 5 minutes, he’s making you cum in 3. He doesn’t prefer it though.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

- He loves trying new things. Especially with someone he trusts. He’s also pretty risky and wants to please you in any way he can.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

- He can go up to 3 on a typical day. He also doesn’t mind if he doesn’t finish. As long as he had a good time, he’s chill.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

- He doesn’t own any toys because he doesn’t think he needs them. A natural type of guy.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

- He never teases on purpose. He gives you what you want whenever you want it. If he teases you on accident, just tell him to hurry the fuck up. He will. <3

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

- He likes being loud. It turns him on to hear the two of you being needy together. Also doesn’t mind if you hear him moan. He dgaf.

- Also, he grunts when he’s on top. So hot.



W = Wild card (a random headcanon)

- He likes subbing for you. He thinks your so hot when you take control. Please sit on his face, please force him to be a service top, please handcuff him. He loves it.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

- Average. 5 inches. 5.3 on a good day. Not thick. Average dude.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

- He wants to fuck at least once a week. If less, then he’s scared you’re going to leave him. He’d like to fuck 4 times a week though. But he’s respectful and knows it’ll be better if he waits.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

- He’s not that tired when he finishes. Actually, he likes to wait until you fall asleep so he can watch you. <3

- He also might play LOL when you fall asleep. Hehe.

[destinyc1020]

Since you posted that Tati video, let's remember how she told us that Tom and Z were texting a lot during the Uncharted shoot and that Z even reached to her and told her that Tom was very impressed of her. That's not behavior of people that were just going to casually hook up for months during the NWH shoot

THANK YOU!!!

That alone was a sign they were already back together if you ask me. You all have to remember that these two were EXES. They had dated each other before. Usually the only reason why exes (who WEREN'T married, and didn't have kids tying them together) would be communicating again is literally to rekindle something lol. 😂 Either that, or you HAVE to work w/them again. Otherwise, most exes kind of keep their distance...and for good reason!

[whiskeyswifty]

what point were u trying to prove with the poll lol? i am millenial and was most excited for paramore and that’s the show i went to

i saved this ask for once the poll was over because i didn't want to taint my results with the bias of people trying to disprove my point. but it's done now! i reblogged it right before this for reference and linked it here.

the main thing i was talking about with a friend was that her major tour openers can be seen as strategically serving her two biggest demos, but they kind of each serve those demos distinctly. my argument was phoebe, muna, gracie, and girl in red were primarily aimed at gen z and are predominantly gen z beloved artists, and haim, paramore, beebadoobee, and owen were aimed primarily at millennials. I made the caveat though that phoebe and muna could be considered demo crossovers, with a lot of millennial appeal, but ultimately they're more gen z favored artists than millennial artists.

Lets look at the results!

First off, the data spread across the two demos was 46.7% millennials and 53.3% gen z, so an almost even spread! which further validates the results, and is super helpful. For the sake of brevity, i'm going to call my predicted millennial openers Group M and my predicted gen z openers Group Z

Lets look at millennials. Of the 46.7%, Group M got the majority response, at 23%. that's 48.3% of the entire millennial sample group! The second largest response doesn't even come close, at 12.2% for Phoebe (26.1% of the sample group), followed by Muna at an even smaller 6% (12.8% of the sample group), followed by Gracie at 3.2% (6.8% of the sample group), with girl in red bringing up the rear at 2.3% (4.9% of the sample group). If you look at that just those numbers, it comes out pretty even actually. Group M comes in at 23% and Group Z totals to 23.7%, almost an even split, with group Z edging out just slightly. So on those numbers, alone I wasn't totally off, but not exactly validated. I will say, Phoebe and Muna coming in 1st and 2nd for Group Z as chosen by the millennials that picked Group Z, that does prove my parlayed argument! By almost double and then double again, those two are shown to be the crossover demo artists with appeal strong enough with the millennials that they skewed the results towards an even split.

Lets look at gen z. Of the 53.3%, the results were slightly more evenly distributed! The majority, although not by much, was Phoebe coming in at 20.9% (39.2% of the sample group), close behind is Group M in it's entirety at 15.9% (29.8% of the sample group), then gracie at 7.4% (13.9% of the sample group), Muna next at 4.6% (8.6% of the sample group) with girl in red tying them also at 4.6% (8.6% of the sample group). Much more interesting results I gotta say. Way more in favor of my view of Gen Z, with Group Z responses totaling 37% altogether, at a whopping 69.4% of the sample group. Really hitting home that Group Z is a hit with gen z as I had argued. Phoebe also being a big winner with gen z continues the crossover demo theory. However muna coming in tied for last after gracie does put a wrench in that slightly. It's not by much, but enough that perhaps Muna is slightly more millennial than i previously assumed.

Lets compare response totals sample group to sample group!

Phoebe garnered 26.2% of Millennials and 39.2% of Gen Z. Of the total Phoebe response sample group, 40.2% were Millennials and 59.8% were Gen Z. From this we can conclude Phoebe skews very clearly Gen Z comparatively, although the margin isn't super wide. Still, Gen Z first, with Millennial appeal.

Muna pulled 12.8% of Millennials and 8.6% of Gen Z. Of the total Muna response sample it’s actually the opposite, with 59.8% being Millennials and 40.2% being Gen Z. Similarly, it turns out Muna skews way more Millennial than I thought, while still retaining a decent Gen Z appeal!

Gracie got 6.8% of Millennials and 13.9% of Gen Z. Of the the Gracie response sample group, 32.8% were Millennials and 67.2% were Gen Z, a very clear runaway Gen Z artist here with minor Millennial appeal.

Girl in red interestingly came in last for both Millennials and Gen Z, and got 4.9% of Millennials and 8.6% of Gen Z. Of the total Girl in red response sample, 36.2% were Millennials and 63.8% were Gen Z. Comparatively Gen Z showed up in near double numbers for girl in red than Millennials, so that's firmly a Gen Z artist.

Finally, Group M got 48.3% of Millennials and 29.8% of Gen Z. Of the total Group M response sample, 61.8% were Millennials and 38.2% were Gen Z. Another clear skew for Millennials here, with still some decent Gen Z appeal.

Ok, so all together what did we learn from this poll, especially as it pertains to my initial argument?

Conclusion 1: Independently, Millennials chose between Group M and Group Z almost evenly, showing no clear sign of preference between the two. Gen Z, however preferred Group Z to the tune of 69.4%, which is an almost 3/4 margin, if i'm rounding up.

Conclusion 2: quantitatively and comparatively however, Group M was far more often selected by Millennials than Gen Z, by an almost 2/3 margin. By those numbers, the general rejection of Group M by Gen Z supersedes Millennials' neutral lack of preference, indicating Group M skewed towards a predominantly Millennial audience.

Conclusion 3: for the Group Z contenders responses, Gen Z beat out Millennials in percentage of selections every single time except for one artist, Muna. There, Millennials comparatively chose Muna more often with a 59.8% share of the responses. That makes Muna a slightly more Millennial skewed artist.

Conclusion 4: Phoebe won Gen Z's portion of the poll, yes, but in comparing response group percentages, it had the same margin as Muna’s response group results, the slimmest of all of the comparative results margins. Safe to say that by those metrics, Muna and Phoebe are the artists with the most crossover appeal, appealing most evenly to both demos by having the slimiest margins.

Conclusion 5: Alternatively, the widest margin in the comparative response groups was for gracie, making her clearly Gen Z. Girl in Red came next behind her, making her the second most Gen Z audience artist by those metrics.

Was I right?

Depending on how you interpret the data, yes and no. Group Z in total are clearly predominantly Gen Z artists, and Group M is clearly a predominantly Millennial group of artists, as I predicted. With the caveat that Millennials actually enjoy Groups M and Z equally, with group Z edging out Group M by a tiny margin! So I was right based on the overall data analysis, but technically wrong on one data point. While Phoebe and Muna show the smallest margins, meaning they have the most crossover appeal as predicted, Muna actually comes out to be a more Millennial skewed artist, which was not what I predicted. Gracie and Girl in Red however remain firmly Gen Z artists as predicted.

Thanks to everyone who participated, and congrats if you read all this garbage this far. While this is data taken from a blind sample, it is incredibly flawed and influenced by at least like 40 variables not accounted for in this study. So while it's nowhere irrefutably conclusive, it's still fascinating to me and I really enjoyed collecting and analyzing the data with no science or data analysis background beyond AP chemistry!

[harrylights]

9, 10, 16 <3

hiiii z ty 🩵

9: do I believe in auras? not rlly tbh, but if I was given some evidence that they’re visible to some ppl I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea ig?

10: what do I wish I hated, but actually like? vaping 😐 my treatment centre got me hooked on smokes again and this is better than that but i QUIT COMPLETELY BEFORE I WENT THERE so i’m mad i’m back on it lol

16: if I could pick any planet to live on besides earth, where would I live? even in a fictional scenario i don’t think i could live anywhere else, much as it’s not perfect here. ik i’d feel so fucking homesick and want things to feel the way they do here. the flowers in the spring, breeze in the summer, being able to see the same stars we see from here, our MOON??? i could never leave them behind

obscure asks for rotting in bed sunday

[nonsensegnomes]

hope is okay to ask! but what sorta program do you use for your fanvids? any tips ?? ty ily :)

hello sorry you sent this like 4 months ago, hi hope you're still hanging around 👋

i use kdenlive altho i would NOT recommend it – at least not without some caveats!!! it is free & (technically) industry standard, but like. you can get that other places, such as davinci resolve which i know my sibling is happily editing fanvids on, so 🤷‍♀️

i am personally gonna stick w/ kden just cause i'm over the learning curve now & don't care to slide back down it again, but it IS a rather steep one with this program cause the finer detail controls are kinda counterintuitive & the tutorials available are not extensive/searchable/particularily clear :/ also it's slow & prone to crashing but honestly i think that's my poor old laptop with its 8gb RAM lol

ANYWAY complaining aside it is in fact a capable little program that has served me well!! if you want the full package, i'd also recommend jdownloader (for downloading footage - i prefer full episodes so i can flick through the whole thing for Context, but it's also good for ripping yt videos) & gimp (for editing text & stills, e.g. subtitles & thumbnails - also a bit of a learning curve)

in any case, fare thee well in your editing & fair warning: it DOES make you feel like a god amongst mortals, bending reality beneath your fingertips! biggest tip would be above all you have to be in it for the love of the game, like you haveeeeeeee to strike out with that weird & niche idea that would not leave your brain every time you listened to an unreleased mountain goats song or whatever!!!! bc otherwise What Is The Point

if this is your Very First edit, i cannot stress enough that imitation is essential to understanding how everything works: pick a vid (from another fandom just so we don't get into murky plaigiarism territory) with a song you're obsessed with, then break it down literally section-by-section to kind of see how it works & reverse-engineer that. this shouldn't mean a 1-for-1 transfer: if say character A pulls a gun at 1:34 in theirs, that doesn't mean character Z has to pull a gun in yours, just that 1:34 might be part of the building tension before a chorus so you should show some decisive actions Z is taking. or if there's a montage summarising the b-plot of an episode, think about what equivalent might fit there for you. idk this isn't a hard & fast rule or like, Your Initiation Rite To The Secret Club Of Vidders, but it's something that helped me with MY first vid that i modelled off of this insanely good spn one

+ like any art medium the more amvs you consume and the more you care about unpicking how they achieve the effect they want, the better you're going to be at choosing what works or doesn't for you even if it goes against ~Conventional~ styles... at the very least, following someone else's guidelines helps you figure out when to place/how to integrate dialogue, which is one of the hardest things to do well at the start imo. just make sure you credit them as an inspiration underneath the vid of course!!!

anyway, once again, good luck!! wishing you many happy hours lost in front of an editing suite lol 🫡

[jesuschristt-thatsaprettyface]

A-Z 😇

<33 i answered some already in other asks but here are the rest

B = Brat: How obedient do you like people to be in the bedroom? Is disobeying fun? i am the brat here ok 😤 and yes disobeying can be fun C = Cum: Turn on, turn off, or favorite? unfortunately my sensory ick. womp womp D = Denial: How long can you edge before it can’t be taken it anymore? if someone else is in charge, i can go for hours. i would edge myself if i could, but i have no impulse control lol E = Exhibitionism: Do you like being seen getting off? Ever done anything explicitly hoping to get caught? hahaha yes. this has always been one of my biggest kinks. i have done some questionable things in parking lots, workplaces, while driving, etc. it’s a problem F = Fucking Machines: Have you ever had a chance to ride a fucking machine? Would you? no i haven’t. and yes i would. but i’d need to be on my back in full pillow princess form, i can’t be expected to hold myself up for that long lol G = Glory Hole: Would you ever go to a glory hole? Have you been to one? oof, this is such a hot fantasy. i’ve never been to one but i would if i had a trusted partner with me to “supervise” H = Humiliation: Do you like to humiliate/be humiliated? Any stories? yes if it’s in a condescending saccharine type of way. also, having to ask permission to do basic things in front of other people (consensually) is super hot too. and so so embarrassing 🙈 I = Ice: Are you in to temperature play? not particularly, but i could be K = Kitten: In to pet play? Do you prefer kittens or pups? i’ve never been that into pet play, but again with the right partner i could be. i’d be a kitten or bunny L = Latex: Latex, leather, or neither? not my thing M = Medical: Have you ever done any kind of medical play? Share stories! i haven’t, but i think being “inspected” in a clinical way could be really hot O = Orgasm Control: Would you give up your orgasms for somebody? yes, i’d definitely let someone control my orgasms, it’s never the most satisfying part anyways Q = Queening: Self explanatory. In to it? that was not self explanatory i had to google it 😂 but yeah i could be into it R = Rope: What’s your favorite means of tying somebody up? i’m a rope bunny, not a rigger. i don’t have any desire to tie someone up T = Teasing: How much is just the right amount of teasing before somebody gets dicked down? And what are you favorite means of teasing? an eternity if my partner wants. i love me a sadist. make me suffer :) U = Uncut: Do you have a preference or are all cocks built equally? 🤷🏻🤷🏻 no pref W = Wildcard: Answer any question submitted to you but you can only give Yes/No answers okay 🙃 i’ll do that with the one below X = Xvideos: Have/Would you ever upload videos of yourself online? yes 🐒 Y = Yuri & Yaoi: Are you in to it? Does 2d get you going? sure Z = Zzz: Have any fantasies involving sleep? uh huh, i love somno. i love cnc. use me while i sleep 🙊

[bourbon-ontherocks]

DOZ pls! 😘

ty!! 😘😘

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t

Annie Marks x Nancy (Good Girls).

I understand what makes them shippable, and there's definitely some stuff that fits with my jam in there, but they just. don't spark joy for me. I simply cannot bring myself to ship them lol

O - Choose a song at random, which OTP does it remind you of

Okay, how do I choose a song at random???? Isn't that a bit oxymoronic? Isn't the act of choosing by definition removing any possibility of randomness? What an odd question, really...

Well, Deezer's flow chose for me some epic cover of The Final Countdown, which I guess reminds me of Brio since it's supposed to be the title and whole structure of the last chapter of It's All Coming Back To Me (one day, one day...)

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go

What an odd question, again... Well, fans are pretty useful to get some air when it's warm outside and I'm super glad they were invented. Also I happen to own a beautiful Spanish hand fan which my parents bought in Sevilla before I was born and I love it!

Fun fandom asks

[anightlikethis1985]

not sure if i'm a dumbass or reading too much into things. but if i'm talking to my crush about our plans for our next meet up (long distance btw) and he says maybe (even though he's told me several times prev that he wants to see me again) and then because i don't like the energy he's giving me, i tell him if he doesn't want to, let me know. and he's like he will??? like...he doesn't even hesitate. so i'm asking myself. does that mean he does want to still see me lol 1/3

but at the same time i'm annoyed at the lack of enthusiasm from him when we talk and i'm trying not to jump to conclusions bc of his type of work, he has a low social battery. and i can't tell if he's kind of being standoffish because of that or if he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. i like him a lot, but i'm hanging by a thread and have been debating for weeks whether i should end things. and i know that's a sign itself, that i've been thinking about telling him we should forget it all. 2/3

but i do like him and would hate to make a mistake and abruptly end things because i made assumptions. i just hate how much our dynamic has changed. and i'm feeling like it's for personal reasons and because we had a talk the other day about how he doesn't seem interested anymore when we talk. idk. he gains nothing from this, so idk why he would stick around, if he didn't like my company. unless i'm like great for ego stroking. 3/3

obviously i don't know a lot abt the situation but my advice would be to be super straightforward with him, tell him you feel like he is not giving you the attention/energy you need and give him a chance to explain himself. also think of some specific examples of behavior that bothers you and how that behavior could be changed. i feel like asking someone to change their behavior in general tends to be less useful than just being like "hey i need x, y, and z from you right now." but if you give him a fair chance to change his behavior and he doesn't, then you should break it off. you deserve a relationship with someone who pays lots of attention to you and gives you the energy & love you deserve!

lmao sorry for leaving this unanswered for so long and also i hope i was the person u meant to send this too (if i was, ty for trusting my judgement lol).

[gyeheoni]

☁️🐿️ (hi beloved)

MY LOVE ! 🥺💖

tbz - it'd be so funny if i said anyone /but/ changmin u.u but loyl i couldn't do that :]] so ! jichang of course ^^ vrvr - fjgdhf given this so much thought of course and i'm still not too sure but kangmin ! prettiest bb ^^ and then gye actually ! og gye akgae status >v< gyehyeon's a good mix of pretty + cool <33 to1 - ngl was waiting for you to send this so i can tell you LOL oh jerome <333 cutest boy ever perhaps and his love language is physical touch <333 txt - cannot separate the thought of tyun + yeonjun as gabi line so them of course ^~^

send me an emoji and i will assign you a random bias from my fav group(s)