#ty that substances exist

[melancholicmeowing]

being social last night didn’t go so bad

[oblique-lane]

more mercenary analysis, whichever merc you want <3

Not a mercenary but... Okay!

Let's dissect Pauling

Always so collected, responsible and efficient. The one who is not afraid to get her hands dirty for the sake of a goal, and her performance is always one hundred percent. What could possibly be not cool about her?

Well, maybe the fact that this all is, in fact, an act. Of course it is.

I'm not saying her determination and dedication to her job aren't sincere decisions of her heart, she really enjoys it and shines in her work. It's just a matter of WHY and WHAT she's doing it for. And on what scale.

For her, her job is EVERYTHING. Eagerly working 364 days a year with barely any rest, masochistically putting herself in so much danger, blindly following the boss's instructions, not even hesitating to kill people standing on the way...

Wow, there's gotta be something going on here.

Well, obviously the Administrator plays A HUGE role in this situation. Why would Pauling trust her so much? Referring to the comics, Pauling trusted her wholeheartedly on whatever the Administrator was planning, even though she didn't know what it was. This blind following that vaguely resembles nothing less than a weird somewhat child-to-a-mother attachment. It's just a Boss, just a job, why?

Because that's what it is. Mother issues. Very apparent.

We don't know anything about Pauling's past, so there's where the headcanons begin:

I'm assuming her birth mother was very neglectful and dismissing, never acknowledged her daughter's accomplishments and struggles. No matter how hard Pauling tried to become "worthy" in her eyes, it seemed to be never enough, as if she didn't even exist at all. Maybe her mother was a substance addict or something and their household wasn't safe and stable, so Pauling had to become an adult early and run away from home as a teenager and find a job to get by.

(I assume that because I believe there was a mention in the canon lore that Ms.Pauling had been working for the Administrator for long long years (don't remember exactly), indicating that she started working when she was still a minor).

So, being taken under the Administrators wing, her young wounded brain found a substitute for a very thing she was lacking, subconsciously clinging onto the Administrator as a newly mother figure, in order to "get it right this time".

Administrators Strictness, responsibility and demandingness were the most favorite qualities of a person of authority in Pauling's eyes, in contrast to the laziness, unaccountability and indifference of the environment in which she grew up. She could finally strive.

This time she would show the mother figure that she's worthy, she's important and irreplaceable; she exists. She would prove that no amount of hardship is too much for her if it means approval for the Administrator.

And the Administrator kind-of-sort-of gave Pauling this pseudo-love in return, encouraging her to sacrifice herself even more for their work. Which is at the very least unfair, and at most just predatory. Administrators "love" was conditional, in contrast with when the real motherly love Pauling unknowingly expected. Administrator was too immature for a mother figure, too much in power for a partner or a friend, yet too close for a formal boss. What is this!? Something not nice.

The Administrator doesn't love Pauling for Pauling, she loves her working qualities. And thus, Paulings subconscious guess was confirmed that "I'm only important when I'm doing the job. I AM the job."

Tying your worth to what you DO instead of what you are is a huge dangerous existential rout one could choose. But she never really knew her importance outside of her skills, so she wouldn't know.

Now imagine how actually painful that character arc was for her, when the Administrator proved herself to be unreliable and secretive, and when Pauling started to question her intentions for the first time.

"... Because I trusted you!"

"Then why are you questioning me now?"

It wasn't even the real conversation between them, just Pauling's mind torturing her.

It reminded me of the crisis of a 4-year-old when they realise that their parents aren't perfect; they don't know anything and they CAN hurt you.This shattering illusion of almighty love. When a child stops believing that the "harsh love" their mother treats them with is simply an abuse.

Wouldn't it be terrifying to realise in your 20s thar despite running for "the mother's approval" all your life, you will never truly get it. If your mother failed to provide it to you at such a young age, nothing will truly substitute that, especially now, when you're an adult, no one will love your inner child the way it was supposed to be loved.

Unless you yourself decide to take that role.

...

Realistically speaking, it's not nearly that sever with Pauling! She's happy in the environment she's in, there's lots of interests for her to explore (Guns, fights, killin'!) So many adventures every day! Even if Pauling has her inner suffering, it's not that bad aa I describe it. Her mother problems may actually be an advantage, a reason she is such a good and caring boss for the mercenaries.

I'm just edgying things down for the sake of the clearer analysis. But still...

If the Administrator will be gone and Pauling loses her life-dedicated job... What will be left? Who is Pauling once Mann Co is no more? Can she answer that?

References:

– A video that helped me better understand the Good Girl mask:

– "Lise Bourbeau's 5 soul wounds model: Injustice"

[radiantlyrey]

Ruby Sunday: Thoughts & Theories (SPOILERS)

WARNING: LONG POST. SPOILERS & SPECULATION AHEAD. MOVE ALONG TO NEXT POST IF YOU WANT TO REMAIN UNSPOILED!!!!!

The Facts Were These:

Ruby Sunday was abandoned by as a newborn baby by her birth mother. (Note A: Her birth mother's name is unknown, but has been promised to us. Note B: Her birth mother's provenance is equally unknown, and has not been promised to us.)

Ruby Sunday has been taken out of time twice--once by the goblins on the night of her birth, and once by her stepping on a prehistoric butterfly and changing history.

Despite a genetic test, Ruby Sunday apparently has no relatives on Earth who her DNA can be matched to.

The snow from the night of Ruby Sunday's birth and abandonment appears when the memory of Christmas 2004 is invoked. (Note A: It also seems to appear when she is feeling some strong emotion.)

Maestro, a child of the Toymaker and a part of the pantehon, believes Ruby Sunday is human until Christmas 2004 is invoked. They then think Ruby may be connected to "the oldest one" (another child of the Toymaker? another god?) before calling Ruby a "creature" who is "very wrong."

The events of "73 Yards" appear to show Ruby Sunday trapped in a loop of time (perhaps more a Möbius strip of time) that only breaks when she dies.

The Doctor at times is discomfited by Ruby Sunday and her existence. (Note A: He is surprised by the Butterfly Incident detailed in Point 2. Note B: He hides his concern about the snow with a hug. Note C: He runs a genetic scan of Ruby after their first adventure.)

The Doctor has been following Ruby Sunday since before they properly met. He has admitted this to her, but he has not explained why.

Ruby Sunday and the Doctor have a lot of common in their backstories--they were both abandoned as children; they were both adopted; they are both somewhat unconnected to their adopted societies. Coincidence seems to be tying them together, and to their adventures. (There have been a lot of parentless children in these stories.)

So those are the facts.

Now for some metafictional facts: There are a lot of strange things going on with Ruby Sunday. She has yet to properly, by herself, save the day. (In fact, in two of her five episodes, she has been absent for the climax entirely.) Most modern companions do this in their first couple of episodes. Despite her moment of defiance in "Boom", she has yet to make the Doctor angry with her actions, which most companions have done by now. It's almost as if she only exists as a character on a purely surface level. She has little depth, hardly any flaws; she and the Doctor get along like breezy best friends, but there's not much of substance about her. Given RTD's reputation as a character writer (especially as concerns Doctor Who), the characterization of Ruby Sunday has seemed more than a little flat. And I can't help but wonder if maybe this is all deliberate.

By this point in the season, when we've hit the halfway point, everyone has a theory about Ruby Sunday. The writing has encouraged the mass theorizing, piling on mystery after mystery with gusto. There are even theories (mostly driven by the fourth-wall breaks in "The Devil's Chord") about the whole season being some kind of misdirect or fakery. But those theories, I think, go slightly too far.

I have theories of my own, of course. My crack theory is that Ruby is either related to the Time Lords or even the Doctor's mysterious species. There is a little evidence for this--her disappearances and reappearances from the timeline, the time loop stuff from "73 Yards"--and it might be true, but I'm starting to shy away from it slightly. Another theory I've seen in this line is that Ruby is part of the pantheon, another god-like being who's been disguised as a human. This seems a little likelier, but I have another idea.

Maestro refers to Ruby Sunday as a "creature" in "The Devil's Chord"--and the word "creature" has the same Latin root as the word "create." I think it's entirely possible that Ruby was created as a trick or a trap for the Doctor, that she's merely an idea that's been given human form. The idea is this: "someone who travels with the Doctor." Fans have already pointed out the numerous parallels Ruby has with other New Who companions--she phones her mum from the future like Rose in "The End of the World"; her existence mirrors the mystery of Clara Oswald in Series 7; she has a lot of the spitfire spunk we've seen from Donna Noble; she even dies and comes back to life like Rory constantly did during his tenure!! Given the teasers we've received for the penultimate episode, "The Legend of Ruby Sunday"--an image of a monitor with the episode's title on it, and [NOTE: I cannot seem to find a source for this; please help!!!!!] a line of teaser dialogue about the Doctor's life playing out on multiple screens [AGAIN: cannot seem to find a source; if you know where teaser dialogue lines for this season were released---or if they're even real--PLEASE LET ME KNOW], it seems to me that the Doctor's life has been studied in order to create the perfect companion, a tailor-made trap for the Doctor and the Doctor alone.

I don't think RTD is stupid enough to pull a "gotcha! it was all a dream/TV show/hallucination!" trick for the whole season, which I know a lot of people are theorizing about. That is a hard needle to thread in the best of situations, and if it doesn't land effectively, then a good chunk of your audience will leave in disgust and never come back. But I think it's very possible you could pull the same trick with one character.

My theory is this: Ruby Sunday is a simulacrum, or hybrid (ha), or something else entirely! But she is not Real. She was created to be thrown away, a lure for the Doctor meant to be eaten or discarded. It might be that she's part of the Doctor's species, but caught by the pantheon (or something else) and changed into a tool or toy or something not-quite-Real. There's been talk about how Doctor Who is gaining more fantastical elements (goblins and gods and so on), and what is more fantastical than a fairy tale? I think the legend of Ruby Sunday is one such fairy tale, and I think I know how it's going to end.

Ruby will, at last, assert herself. She will break free of what she's been created (written) to be, and claim her personhood/characterhood. She will re-enter the world fully herself and fully three-dimensional. She will finally become Real, with all that that implies.

And nothing is more fairy tale than that.

[phantomrose96]

hi your short story is giving me absolute brainworms it’s DAMN good. I don’t have anything of real note to add so I’ll just ask: is there anything you really want to say about the story but haven’t yet (like trivia or whatnot)?

(938 Seconds Per Second)

Probably that I'd very nearly abandoned it!

The idea started from an article I was reading about time dilation - the gist of it being "okay but what's to stop you from accelerating infinitely? Up to and past the speed of light?" and the conclusion was kind of "you sort of can... from YOUR frame, from YOUR perception of time, potentially. but from a resting frame, you will appear to only ever approach the speed of light." So even if you could perceive yourself traveling 100 light years in a month... to every resting body, 100 years have passed.

So I was like cool! Fucked up potential! I really liked the concept of "you can notice your mistake after 5 minutes and already be 100 years too late to fix it."

I toyed with a few ideas and ended up gravitating towards "what if one shipmate intentionally leaves another shipmate behind... and by the time this is discovered days later, the left-behind shipmate is long dead." I also settled on "what if your shipmate sucked so bad that he causes you to snap and leave him behind"

So I started writing with that as the core idea. Main character Mendoza has the Worst Coworker in the World Universe, and he snaps and leaves Carson behind on a planet.

...But then I was a little lost. I was struggling with the substance. The "what makes this interesting" and the "what ties this all together." Sure I could just write Carson being an ass for 3,000 words and then... Mendoza leaves him behind the end?

I was even struggling with the first draft because part of me was like "what's even enjoyable about reading about a completely insufferable person...?" Even Mendoza himself is no peach. Maybe the whole concept was just unpalatable. I kinda just... ditched it where it was.

Then I came back to it this weekend and decided to kind of rethink it, fresh. And the absolute biggest difference between the early stumbling draft and what I ended up with was Sampson. He actually solved so much. (He existed in the early draft, but not importantly.) He introduced the character stakes and the tying thread to the story I was missing.

Now it wasn't just Carson annoying Mendoza. Once Sampson's tome enters the story, the stakes change. Mendoza is now in the middle of Carson actively destroying the thing Sampson is even alive for. Mendoza is now in a position of actively needing to make choices--he could intervene and try to save Sampson's tome. He could tattle. He could do anything--but he doesn't. Because "not letting Carson win" is the single most important thing. Mendoza doesn't need to be any kind of hero. He chooses not to be.

And now the reader is captive to this conflict, privy to everything Mendoza knows, and does not act on, as Sampson unravels in the background.

And now we have a thread that leads to Carson and Mendoza ending up on-planet together. Carson isn't out there for shits and giggles, he's out there because the plot point about Sampson's tome led to this. Now Carson knows about the cargo, and now he's offering Mendoza the chance to not just be passive witness, but be accomplice to Sampson's destruction.

And it's enticing. It's unimaginable wealth, and it's getting off the shitty ship, and it's never seeing Carson again. Mendoza has the chance to stick to his every-man-for-himself ideals and go along with Carson. And it's interesting to explore Carson's reasoning for why they deserve this! They're the ones who sacrificed 300 years for this journey! Don't they deserve this over some fucker who wasn't even born when this mission started?

And then it reaches one pivotal moment--Carson's gleeful declaration that Sampson will totally kill himself once he discovers what they've stolen. Because now there are consequences to this action. If Mendoza follows through with this, it's with the knowledge that he's gotten Sampson killed. (And maybe he shouldn't care. Maybe it doesn't matter. As he's asserted this whole time.)

Mendoza doesn't do it. He pulls up the ladder after Carson.

He doesn't let Carson win.

And then the ending... the ending where Sampson very much was witness to Mendoza following Carson out of the ship. If Sampson were every-man-for-himself, he could just comply and tell Major Kensington what he saw. Mendoza knew Carson was outside the ship. Mendoza came back. Carson didn't. The ship took off. Sampson knows this all.

But, Sampson has an idea of what, may, have happened. He knows he accidentally revealed too much to Carson. He knows Carson stole the tome which contains information about the cargo. Sampson, maybe, knows what decision Mendoza made.

So Sampson lies to Kensington. Sampson will swear on his life he never saw Mendoza that evening. No one will ever know.

And just!!! It was delightful to find the piece that ties the WHOLE story through. It's not just "your coworker sucks and you booted him to live out 40 years on a planet for your next 2 weeks". It's character-driven now. It's about choices and consequences and the fucked up implications that the time-dilation travel throws in.

[c00kietin]

thank GOODNESS I could finish this- beneath the cut's a profile for them!! :D

buckle up, because it's a lot of information-

TENEBRIS!!!

Goes by they/them pronouns :D

Don't ask them for their age. Even I don't know how old they are.

The one and only leader of the Obitus Cult/Cult of Obitus!!

A very egotistic and anti-social being that has utterly devoted their loyalty to their "god" Obitus.

Can be quick to anger as well, lashes out on their members if they're really frustrated.

Of course, they're nothing like this around newcomers. Needs to somehow convince them to join, right?

Well, they can just force people if they wanted to with spells.

The magic they're capable of involves more chants and recitals, as well as making very strange substances and potions.

Their shopping list looks very strange, as you can imagine.

Kind of tying in the shopping thing, they get all of their resources delivered to their temple. Tenebris very rarely leaves the premises, and the members aren't allowed to leave at all.

They hate children. And chocolate.

And bright lighting- all the rooms in the temple are very dimly lit and all their clothes are darkly coloured.

This is their voice claim!

Their hair is quite heavy (and well taken care of) so you can guess that they're very slow.

MORE THINGS ABOUT THE CULT ITSELF!!

You can call it either the Obitus Cult or the Cult of Obitus- Tenebris calls it the latter.

This group made up of almost 100 people places their faith and loyalty to Obitus.

According to Tenebris- who claimed to have witnessed them in their sleep one night, starting up the cult the next day- Obitus plans on completely obliterating the Earth of humanity and civilization and told them to prepare for the end of the world. basically.

When this will happen?....Tenebris wasn't told that.

They also do not know what this otherworldly overlord looks like- however, they know an eye-shaped symbol (on Tenebris' hat and necklace) is very important as that appeared in their dream too.

The temple is located in a very secluded mountain range- Tenebris was simply told to go there by Obitus and it was already there. Convenient.

As pictured above, members have to have the eye symbol engraved into their wrist (or palm)- after this, they happen to be almost under a trance or brainwashed.

When praying to Obitus, they expose out the arm with the marking and their other arm behind that one, raised up to their face. Like this:

I hope that makes sense sjkksjks- while they do have lengthy prayer times and different types of prayers, a short and simple one they use is "We place our faith in Obitus."

The temple is full of many different rooms, including a dining hall, summoning room and bunkers (Tenebris gets their own room, obviously.)

They also follow a strict schedule- They must be asleep by 8 p.m. and awake and ready for the day by 4 a.m. They have two food breaks- one for breakfast and one for dinner. Once a month, they also hold a summoning ritual in order to attempt communicating with Obitus once more.

Members have their own jobs as well as worshipping Obitus though- cooking, cleaning, assisting Tenebris; that's all done by them as well.

While Tenebris mainly targets lonely people or those who don't have a social life, they are happy to accept anyone in! Well, that is if you're over 18.

I'm afraid teenagers (and children) are not allowed to join. However, Tenebris does take note of minors who do want to join and if you're REALLY nice, may let you visit the temple if you do some errands for them.

EXTRA FACT STUFF ABOUT TENEBRIS:

I based them more off of what first comes to mind when you think of cults- and, unintentionally, they also partially remind me of the cult in Spooky Month which I forgot existed ;-;

Because, after researching real life cult leaders, I felt like their stories weren't really what I was going for with Tenebris.

I guess the Peoples Temple founded by Jim Jones and the Family Cult by Anne Hamilton-Byrne were partial inspirations- oh, and religious experiences I've had, Catholic-Christian ones that is. (this is in no way meant to portray anything bad about that religion- or any at all- I just wanted to make the religious side of this more interesting by basing it off of what I know. Again, this isn't meant to offend any religion.)

My sister nicknames them Tenny and I (as well as others hee hee) nickname em Tennis, so you might see that often lol

I'm pretty sure they're the first oc I posted about on here! Although I think the post got like 7 notes-

When I first drew them, which was a while ago, they were more like a triangle shape and had larger eyes- my sister likes this version more but I think it just looks goofier- might post it once I find it :D

Tenebris means Darkness in Latin (according to translators) because I couldn't think of a name for them and just thought "think of something kinda edgy, then make it Latin to sound cool >:D"

Obitus means Death in Latin (according to translators once more I can't speak Latin-)

Thank you for reading this far!! I'm going to just tag @night-terrorzz @lobotomize-d n @gummy-worms-in-my-brain since you lovely people seem to like this cult leader :>

[braveasnouns]

the lore behind valorant is actually way more vast than people give credit for tbh.

basically, there's a mirror earth that spawned somehow, and the "og earth" as it were is called alpha while the other is called omega earth. the exact same people exist on the other side, but the main difference between earths is that alpha has a shitton of radianite while omega is dying due to lack of it. radianite being this brand new substance that was brought to the greater public after the "first light", which also spawned radiants - people who had powers due to radianite, but it turns out radianite has existed for a long time and people never knew. while some explicitly gain their radiance (neon and astra), others are implied to be a radiant through heritage (yoru)!

the whole double earth thing is how they explain the whole "characters-killing-themselves" that comes with FPS games, it's pretty cool! one team plants the spike—the spike being a bomb that siphons radianite out of the enviroment—while the other has to stop them from planting and defusing it. it's cool :)

most of the agents have... frosty connections with their doubles. chamber, a rich frenchman, actually has a deal with his double, while jett is on the polar opposite spectrum - she was accused of being a war criminal due to omega jett detonating a spike in venice on alpha earth, and because of course they look the same, alpha jett is an international criminal after this

hehehe sorry for infodumping i just love this dumb little game's lore sm (ive never played tho!)

woah okay this is a lot more deep than i thought but i really like it :D this whole thing sounds so cool!! and you don’t have to apologize for infodumping i love it really!! so ty!

[j2zara]

🖊🌝🧠💭and 💋for tell me more about j3's pov in stay/leave bc I remember you rewriting some snippets of it from his pov for another ask meme and it was so fun!

OOPS this ended up kinda long my bad! Sorry this took a while i was just kinda worn out yesterday ty for ur patience

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

I’m feeling generous so i let this go on way too long. I’m probably revealing too much but what the hell

J3 grins at Porter, ignoring her completely. It makes her feel strange and small. “‘Boyfriend’? Porter, what are you talking about?” “Just a joke, darling. Having fun?” “Loads. So are you, I can see.” J3’s eyebrows are raised, a hand on his hip. His eyes flit back and forth between the two of them. J4 tries to parse his expression, look for any sign of—what? Anger? Jealousy? Satisfaction? He remains impassable. J4’s heart is pounding, ready to leap into her throat. J3 takes J4 by the hand, intertwining their fingers as he pulls her toward him, and away from Porter—and she ignores the brief jolt of distress at that, of being away from Porter. “Come dance with me.”  “In these heels?” asks J4, watching her own feet so she doesn’t stumble. But she doesn’t protest, she follows until she’s in his arms, practically nose to nose with him. Up close, she can see his pupils are blown out. He’s going to be a pain later, and the next day, she just knows it, she can’t even bring herself to resent it. Right now, she doesn’t have it in her to be anything but happy—his touch like the relief of sunlight at dawn.  It may be the substances, but at least they’re talking. “You’re doing great!” he whispers, just as he steadies her, hand resting at her waist. The strange moment of kindness puts a lump in her throat. She doesn’t deserve this. “Whup! Hate to pull her away from you, Porter, but she’s so much fun. Don’t you agree?” J3 is nuzzled against her neck, and the gesture is so familiar, so comforting, they’re their old selves again—until he peaks just enough to flash a teasing smile over at Porter. “We talking about the same J4?” says Porter. J3 ignores him. He touches her face, their eyes meet, and J4 gets a Message from him. Kiss me. Her breath catches. You sure? He’ll like it. A sinking feeling in her stomach. Oh. It takes everything in her to remain impassive in front of Porter. And that’s a good thing? Trust me. (She’s getting what she wants, right? Surely—that’s what everyone wants when they run. To be chased?) A slow flutter of J3’s lashes, mouth parting. A J3 signature, used at the end of their movie nights, when the lights are dim and the credits are rolling.  Used it to get a kiss and a hit of gorgunfern from a burly dwarf who J3 said worked at the steel factory, too. She knows what he wants—even if she’s one of many. J4 cradles his face in her hands—hesitates. Watches him exhale and lean forward as her thumb brushes his cheek. Despite her wariness, her shyness, at being a spectacle for Him—she does as he says and pulls him in for a kiss. His soft fluttering gasp against her mouth is enchanting. J4 aches to disappear into this moment, will it to be nothing but quiet and peace and perfection—but she knows what this is to Porter. It’s him getting Jace, every part of Jace, all to himself, just as he’s always wanted. The unfairness of that hits her even while she’s sucking face. Even as she’s hyper aware of her God’s omnipresent gaze, she’s desperate to imbue this with as much meaning as possible—maybe if she’s eager enough, if she wants it enough, if she puts on a good enough show, then J3 will know, somehow understand, that this moment—that she—exists only for him. For a moment, she does exist only for him. J3 smiles as they part. “Like what you see?” he asks—a reminder that they’re not alone. “Can’t complain.” J4 doesn’t take her eyes off him. How can you stand this? she Messages. You know me. I’m shameless. Again, he’s unreadable. She forgets sometimes, how much J3 likes being Jace for Him. The thought makes her angry—how Porter doesn’t even see him, just his beloved Saint Stardiamond.

anyway I'm saying too much but oh well!

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

I already answered this one earlier (in that I said it would be fun to write DurDawn or Mailee of ATLA fame. And yes, it is also ironic as zukkacore i have not written zvkka.) But thinking more on it…. My only real brush with Porter POV was the tiny tiny snippet in IYWD and tbh i think Porter POV is so fun b/c he’s so fucked. I also think writing anything in like a Bad Kids Pov would be fun but i have no idea what it would be for. Oh! Also maybe writing Jawbone????? I’d love to feature jawbone in something i write sometime. Whether its starbreaker related or clone related or whatever or something else.I think so many of you guys are so good at capturing his voice like he’s always so funny and warm and distinct and i laugh so much when you guys get an anecdote of his that just feels so RIGHT and i don’t have that. 

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

Someone else asked me this and i did spout off abt Jace Hireling AU and Clone Game Changer AU but. Beyond that… I think writing anything involving Jawbone would be fun im not sure what. Maybe that J2 gets knotted fic of my heart LMAO he deserves it. On a similar note! I’m a sucker for werewolf J4 and vampire J3 and i think writing something with one or both would be so goddamn fun but i have no idea what the specifics would look like.

I also think it would be fun to write something for Jace + the Jaces au aka bandverse. Not sure what tho

This is SUPER new as in only hours old in conception but i did state in another one of these ask things. my headcanon that is super self indulgent that the clones do Make It after ragenarok b/c don’t they deserve that? Like. I know i write so much clone tragedy and that’s kinda the point is that they’re all doomed but in my heart they get to make it out of the torment nexus. Anyway. My super indulgent headcanon is that the clones get granted True Life by Ankarna but its in the form of like. Reincarnation. (I also think a way to swing the reincarnation angle is to have it to do with like. Aguefort’s whole thing with Chronomancy and Phoenixes since Ayda is half phoenix and does reincarnate). So J4 gets her wish to not be Of Jace but the clones are separated and have to find their way back to each other. It’s very “anybody got a match” “and so we sing it again and again and again” coded to me. Anyway. I’m not typically that into reincarnation stuff (It just depends i think it can just be a contrived way to get characters to care abt each other but when its done right recognition through multiple lifetimes is so so so so so good) but like. A part of me wants to make it work but ugh.

💭 What is a headcanon you have about your own work?

Again I got asked this and I was like. I’m literally such an open book i blab so much abt my own stories and the headcanons that go with them i never ever ever ever shut up abt it. So finding something to talk about it so funny

Ok. So. I feel like i’ve kinda talked abt this but. I do think if Jace hadn’t gotten back with Porter, J2Porter… might’ve been able to work out?? For as long as that would even sustain itself considering we know ragenarok and also J2 is a clone and stuff. I know that’s crazy and. That’s very indulgent of me to say maybe due to my soft spot and like i haven’t even accounted for whether J3 would still be homewrecking in this scenario. Like it sounds crazy for me to say that b/c Porter looks past J2 constantly but also…. That was already happening with Jace. I’m not saying it would’ve been perfect but i do think it only would’ve been like. Marginally worse than Jaceporter already was. I don’t even think it would be marginally worse it might’ve honestly been the same level of screwed.

OH. I’ll talk about something else, too. This is so silly but I think in terms of weird differences in the clones. I’ve joked bc j2 having a tighter curl pattern than Jace. I actually think J4 has a looser curl pattern than jace, her hair is the closest to straight. I also think J4 is the only Jace that likes a middle part for her hair.

Um. Last thing I guess? I think J4 is the only clone that sincerely picked up the smoking habit for a substantial period of time, and she quit but she does cave when she’s stressed. People are free to do as they please with the clones but to me Bluejay does not smoke (I do love esme’s whole joke tho that J2 watching J4 quit cold turkey was so stressful that he starts tho i think thats pretty funny). Like. Idk bluejay is cringe i think he’s like the kind of person who is like “my body is a temple and a gift from god so i can’t destroy it!” even if Jace smokes and he is Very Very Curious. (I think gorgunfern would fix him but. He doesn’t know that). And J3 is like. A social smoker in the same way ppl are social drinkers, and maybe a stress smoker? He’s tried everything once out of curiosity obviously, he’s j3, and he prefers sex to get some sort of hit or like release when he’s stressed but like. Sometimes he’ll take this instead.

💋for tell me more about j3's pov in stay/leave bc I remember you rewriting some snippets of it from his pov for another ask meme and it was so fun!

OHHH this is such a fun question thank you!

Tbh those were fun to do!!!! bc like. I was struggling so goddamn much with stay / leave and I wanted to get it done ASAP so bad so I felt kinda bad I was distracting myself with these weird sidebars but like. They ended up being really helpful bc I made some significant edits to J4’s pov to match what I wrote for him. I give myself so many annoying self-imposed limitations for certain characters and I think j3 is the one who is hardest a for me to write bc he’s so so so so so so bad at expressing what he wants and so it only comes out in these weird flighty circular “well I want what you want” etc ways. It’s was such a self imposed barrier for Biggest Lie, and having a J3 voice already made it slightly easier but Biggest Lie is the reason i have these self imposed boundaries anyway lol. The J3 snippets were purely snippets I did for the ask, but like. Scanning the text and trying to reverse engineer something was fun because its like. I was playing with that concept of Homophrosyne, of two people who understand what the other is thinking. So there was a lot of mirroring in J3’s pov. 

To get more broadly into J3 POV and not just those snippets like. I mentioned so so so briefly as a half joke during the writing updates that the reason J3 was being so dramatic was because the story was Post IYWD, which means he’d essentially been ditched for Jace. So J3 is being a little bit of an asshole here, and that question J4 has of whether he misses her or misses someone felt very important b/c of that whole J3 Being Disposed Of thing. I liked it b/c it heightened the stakes. We get j3 at his most desperate to fill a void. J4 at her most angry, an d maybe even most righteous in her anger as well.

I just looked back at what I wrote (j3 pov):

“Alright.” He’s trying to keep his cool, but he can feel his face grow hot. J4 always sees him for who he is. “Well, I didn’t mean to upset you,” he says, a half-truth, because he’s picturing what might happen if he goads her, and he wants. “But… You could always tell me off.”  A smile curls on his lips. He feels the hand yanking at his hair before he can even process that J4 is kneeling beside him. His head is forced back, pressed into the couch cushion, and he hisses at the pain tugging at his scalp. It feels good. J4 leans in, mouth practically against his skin, and he can feel his breath catch as he waits for her to speak. Finally, she murmurs, “You’re being a pest.” Making warmth shoot through his entire body. Oh… He thinks it, but the sound escapes him before he can help himself, a thrill from being at her mercy. “Are you mad at me?” he asks—somewhere between a goad and a plea before devolving completely into a whimper. He’s played this game before, but something about this. This feels real. It frightens him.

Again this idea of. J4 at her most angry because her anger is usually spared for people who deserve it in her eyes, and she’s so soft on J3 in comparison. And J3 being a greedy little gremlin desperate for any kind of experience, any kind of sensation whether positive or negative. There’s mirroring with the scene as exists in text because j4’s getting off on the idea of punishing, he’s getting off on the idea of being punished. Lol. And J4 taking pleasure in her more sadistic impulses when she caves, as opposed to repressed. Being Portercoded. The part where she called him a pest was actually one of the easiest parts to write for me—idk it was so clear in my head.

Actually. My fav addition to j4pov that came from doing those little j3 detours was. The idea of her basically stealing one of his moves? That came from me writing the J3 pov. B/c i loved the idea of him “giving The Move to her” because she does it better, like that concept just seemed so funny and interesting. Like their approaches to charisma casting are so different and J3 is very rehearsed, so i’ve always found the idea of LJ3 like, borrowing from each other and taking each other on a bit to be a compelling idea. “I’ve built a you within me” etc etc.

 Plus, my self imposed guidelines for J3 are not… consistent but I do still try to maintain when possible J3’s role as a Jace Cypher, being more passive when he’s with people. In the original draft, J3 just kissed her, which is fine, but there’s something about the role reversal of J4 intentionally goading in this submissive, flirtatious way that i thought was more interesting.  Especially b/c J4 says its like. A move that works EVERY time. So when she tries it, it works. On him. He breaks his passivity for once and kisses her. And on the other end, for J4, i liked it because she’s trying to prompt him into taking action, which is a big thing for her, wanting him to articulate and take what he wants. And she gets what she wants, but she’s breaking her own principles for herself, now she’s the one playing coy. Something something he is more myself than i am ya know.

[ericeffiorg]

that episode felt like a marvel movie in the sense that all of the plot twists were cameos and references and nothing of substance actually carried the episode.... like it was fun and enjoyable, which i know is the main point, but i feel like thirteen and yaz kind of had an empty ending and they focused way more on having characters return/big “moments” than tying up the already existing story

[cityandking]

🖊️🚫🌈💙😓 for dai, minah and vesper!

ty my dear!! // details about ocs

🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

DAI — yes he has one! he got a lil bicep band of a mountain range for airedon on his left arm. he's happy with just the one tbh; he's got more than enough funky body markings already and doesn't need more (rip to the extensive scarring)

MINAH — after a lot of thought and consideration I must acknowledge that she has no (0) tattoos. she's too paranoid to get permanent marks on her body that might be used to track her. however! she totally would in the future. that girl deserves to be tatted up

VESPER — she has a little owl stick-n-poke on her thigh to commemorate passing her harrowing

🚫 PROHIBITED — does your oc drink/smoke? do they do it regularly, or is it more on occasion or for special events?

DAI — drinks socially sometimes, mostly on special occasions. usually he only has an ale or two. he's not particularly interested in getting drunk; he likes to keep his mind clear

MINAH — definitely drinks, and honestly I think she'd partake in some elfroot or other smoked herb too. she enjoys a bit of a substance as a social event—catch her in the tavern after a show every night. that said, she doesn't like getting too inebriated

VESPER — she drinks, sometimes to excess. not so much anymore, but definitely you can tell when things are getting bad for her because she'll be in the tavern later and longer every night. fortunately her friends look out for her

🌈 RAINBOW — what is your oc's sexual orientation/gender identity? what pronouns do they use?

DAI — cis man (he/him), gay + ace-spec. before zaref he'd never even considered any kind of relationship and was perfectly content with that; zaref turned a lot of things upside down for him

MINAH — cis woman (she/her), bi. minah's the kinda gal who'll try anything (or anyone) for the novelty. she spent a few years exclusively hooking up with ladies, but honestly she has a slight preference for men

VESPER — cis woman (she/her) (though she's not particularly tied to the concept of womanhood), bi + demisexual

💙 BLUE HEART — does your oc have any cool/special powers and/or abilities? how are they with magic, if it exists in their world?

DAI — he's a cleric and a paladin and a demigod so that's a yes on the special powers and abilities. his got perpetual truesight, so many spells, and the ability to project an aura of hope as part of his demigod shtick. he's quite adept with magic

MINAH — minah doesn't know jack shit about magic and has no inherent abilities, though she's starting to learn a bit about how it works and has a number of magical items on her person. tbh magic for magic's sake freaks her out, but she can use an item or an object and view it as just a process/a system, which she's way better at managing (I'd like for her to multiclass into bard eventually, so I guess she better get on that)

VESPER — vesper was a proficient mage before inquisition, and she's only honed her knowledge and her experience since then. she's got the cool/special power of closing rifts and also of knowing So Much about the fade. she's an excellent mage

😓 DOWNCAST FACE WITH SWEAT — is your oc open-minded or stubborn? are they inquisitive or do they prefer to keep to their bubble of knowledge?

DAI — magnificently stubborn, but willing to learn. if there's anything he's learned so far it's that the world(s) are far bigger and more complicated than he can imagine, and he's genuinely come to enjoy expanding his worldview

MINAH — quite stubborn, but a lot of what drives her is a desire to know things and discover the truth. she can be pretty inquisitive when the mood strikes

VESPER — she's extremely open minded and always eager to learn more. she really never grew out of her childhood wonder stage; so many things have faded and faltered around her but her desire to learn and grow and expand her understanding has remained strong through it all

[nodawnesperia]

Current Status Report (faction status part 2)

The second part, this should be the final of the worldbuilding posts at least for now. After this, I'd like to start getting into specific characters/events. Not sure who I'll start with so if you have a preference, do let me know (same for specific events). Reminder that the Graveborn faction is mostly the same but I will point out the few things that changed. The Hypogeans will be more about their general structure as a faction since the canon provides little to no info on it put concisely. The Celestials though? That's where things will get a little more curious.

This one is short, much shorter than the previous posts. Have fun!

Graveborn

The School of the Dead: The Metamorphs

Previously: The School of the Dead is split between two factions: The Spiritualists and the Metamorphs. While the Spiritualists practice necromancy through magic only, the Metamorphs utilize alchemy and experiment with various other substances in order to further the limits of necromancy. Currently: With the Hypogean backing and support, the Metamorphs of the School of the Dead came up with a new way of reanimating bodies – using Hypogean magic. The resulting creations are tireless, hardworking, intelligent, and brutal warriors.

The Boneyard: The Whispering Doom

Previously: A massive tower looming over the Boneyard, it is filled with sinister spirits known as the Harvesters who collect the lost souls of Esperia, purifying them and stuffing them in new bodies, creating legions of submissive Graveborn soldiers. Currently: With Annih back in the picture, lost souls are no longer present in Esperia. However, for the sake of the alliance, fragile as it may be, Annih allows Niru as the head of the Whispering Doom to choose a limited number of souls for the Graveborn armies.

Hypogeans

Creatures of chaos and destruction exist all over the universe, spawned by the leaking powers of the elder god Lutos. Most of them are disorganized and chaotic, barely capable of any rational thought. In Esperia, however, many influences affected their creation to the point where many are born sentient and even intelligent. There is a wide variety of them now, the only thing tying them all together being their natural draw to destruction.

However, united under the leadership of Annih and Uemiss, the Hypogeans are a formidable force. Annih appointed two high commanders of the Hypogean armies, Kane and Conrad, to lead the lesser Hypogeans and make up for their lack of intelligence. Kane is a strategic attacker while Conrad takes care of the Hypogeans' steadfast defense. By promising domains, power, and their pickings of prisoners and captives, Annih managed to sway the will of most other powerful Hypogeans as well, using their vast array of powers and skills to form a strike force the likes of which have never been seen in Esperia.

Celestials

When Dura created the Barred Gate, she made the remaining gods swear a divine oath to protect it and guard it from ever breaking again. However, when Uemiss began trying to reclaim his power over Altor, many Celestials abandoned their posts to go and combat the galactic threat. When the Gate shattered, so too did the gods' divinity. And as more and more of Esperia fell to the Hypogeans and the mortal faith weakened, even the remaining demigod powers quickly weakened.

At present, the Celestials are either scattered around Esperia or hiding within the deepest parts of the Celestial Sanctum, unable to shed their physical bodies or put up much of a fight. Some died, others got captured. Most of them remain free but it is only freedom in the name. The worse the situation gets, the more desperate the Celestials grow, employing means they once deemed beneath them to secure even the smallest of victories. Mortal faith no longer sustains them so they, in turn, no longer care about the mortal lives. If a hundred mortals die to kill ten Hypogeans, the Celestials only see the dead Hypogeans. Those who are unwilling to submit to such cruel methods are abandoned, left without a faction, allies, or place to belong.

[daisychainsandbowties]

avatrice & books

// turning this into a whole post bc it got LONG. ty anon who asked these questions

who prefers audio and/or digital books over physical?

out of necessity they have a LOT of digital books. Cam actually dumps her whole contraband collection in Bea’s inbox while she & Ava are still en-route to Switzerland, so that Bea’s new phone lights up on the seat beside her & it’s the first thing that relaunches her brain like a crashed excel document, because Ava’s drooling onto the leg of her pants with her body curled up across two seats. all the lights in the train are down low, & she gets an email from Cam (on the OCS extranet) with the subject line “don’t tell Mom :)))”.

headcanon is that Cam has been selling literary contraband in cat’s cradle for years (in true Camila style with a barter system where she gives people pages she printed off on the admin office’s old printer & they give her things like ‘interestingly-shaped bullet fragments’ and ‘bags of Haribo starmix with a preferential ratio of love hearts and cola bottles to bears & rings’)

so yeah, Cam has a little online archive hidden away on the OCS servers, & Bea spends the journey to Switzerland reading a digitally dog-eared file of miscellaneous philosophy papers, which Cam has been grabbing for her because it’s like Beatrice catnip. and it becomes a little habit for Cam to walk into Bea’s room at cat’s cradle to find her doing crunches with the lights off. Cam doing the sibling thing where she flicks the light switch on and off five times until Beatrice stops and just lies on the floor with arms akimbo, scowling:

‘leave me alone Camila.’

‘okay, broody bones, guess you don’t want this paper i found called ‘do holes exist?’

cue Bea coming down to breakfast the next morning STILL furious, squinting angrily at the straw in Mary’s smoothie until Mary asks if she needs to put it into protective custody.

she reads it again on the train because she wants to be angry over something stupid. she reads the essay that made Cam spend a week hiding in the apse and saying ‘i’m batman’ whenever Beatrice went inside - Nagel’s ‘what is it like to be a bat?’ and she reads a bit of Beckett because she really does find ‘Waiting for Godot’ funny, & then she reads her old favourites which she has printed and folded in her drawer in cat’s cradle

she LOVES Kepler’s astronomica nova because he has all these asides in it, and Bea chuckles aloud in the train carriage as she always does when she remembers reading first about Kepler writing “ah, what a foolish bird i have been!” & when her head hurts from reading the original Latin she switches to Carl Sagan’s cosmos, reading about Kepler again, feeling it in her chest:

“Kepler was a brilliant thinker and a lucid writer, but he was a disaster as a classroom teacher. He mumbled. He digressed. He was at times utterly incomprehensible… He was distracted by an incessant interior clamor of associations and speculations vying for his attention.”

beatrice & kepler &

“Geometry provided God with a model for the Creation… Geometry is God Himself.”

when Ava wakes up, Bea is reading the Lewis & Lewis holes article for the third time, & Ava jolts a bit because she looks real mad, and kind of devastated, but then Bea smiles at her & Ava says:

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing, nothing.” a pause, “i just… holes are full of the substance they create an absence in.”

“i think i need a croissant before you explain that to me”

Bea prefers physical books. she likes the smell of them, and the feeling of holding the words in her hands, and how you can leave a bookmark inside of a book and feel suddenly and profoundly like you are alive, putting an ellipses straight into the world ‘…. to be continued’.

it’s why she likes Cam’s dumb print-offs even if Camila has long-since convinced the ink cartridge that it is not, in fact empty but it definitely is getting there. even though sometimes the words are shaved off and she has to infer the full shape of sentences - and if she does, well, it’s kind of like sudoku & it’s a bit like learning song lyrics off the radio where, very occasionally, the words you mishear are better than the real ones.

but she does appreciate the search functions on the digital books & papers & the fact that she can screen reader things when her eyes are tired but her brain is not, (& Cam is very good at making sure that the PDFs she sends are screen reader accessible)

she doesn’t like audiobooks because she wants to put the emphasis where her brain thinks it should go, and even with the speed turned up there’s just a difference between her reading speed and the narration. & yeah, the auditory processing sometimes is not cooperating, never mind that her ears ring sometimes from hearing too many gunshots. there’s a reason the OCS has a deal with a hearing specialist bc if you retire, you’re going to have damage to your eardrums. a ringing aftershock of violence.

they both love dog-earing books and leaving little notes in the margins of, underlining things with intention so that the pen breaks through the paper; with mass-market paperbacks there’s no reason not to, though it takes a while for it to happen.

Ava is at first very tender with every object they own. she bawls her eyes out when she drops a glass in the kitchen one night because her fingers are tired and sore from doing finger strikes all day. Bea finds her there sort of curled up on her haunches, and quietly sweeps up the glass from around her, gently leads her around it because she’s in bare feet.

later, on the sofa, Ava tells her through tears that she has never had stuff that she picked out herself, and the glasses with the little bumblebees on them were hers, and now there are three of them instead of four. & Bea is a bit overcome by how sacredly Ava holds everything, for all that she doesn’t believe in any god.

Ava i think really likes audiobooks because you can do other things while you listen to them! so like, i imagine in the Switzerland era Ava is doing a thing where she’s trying to figure out what stuff she likes doing. so she gets painting supplies & some sheets of A3 paper & she puts on audiobooks while she experiments with colours.

she listens to books at night because Beatrice goes to sleep kind of early & she’s always like ‘oh no, you can leave the light on’ but actually she needs the light off and Ava knows it so instead she lies in the dark with one earphone in listening, on the one hand, to Beatrice mumbling in her sleep and also to whatever book she has & sometimes she takes out the fold-up ruler that she found in a charity shop & folds it and unfolds it and folds it again just to keep her hands busy.

but she also likes physical books because (once Beatrice assures her that it’s okay to write in them & damage them because they’re things and they’re hers and they’re meant to be loved in the way that feels best) she likes writing silly little notes in the margins, or things she wants to look up even though her phone is right there because if she google searches she’ll spend an hour not reading her book.

it makes her feel present & good to leave marks on the books even if it’s ‘ava silva was here’ because she thought she would leave only the smallest impression on the world for so long but now she has her own dirty plates to clean up and she has to pick her clothes off the floor and they have a small stack of very carefully-chosen paperbacks with dog ears and yellow highlighter marks and blue pen in the margins.

what do you think their weird book opinions & peeves would be?

Beatrice will go on a ten-minute tirade about how long it takes for mass-market paperbacks to come out these days. she HATES the fact that all books seem to get released in 25 euro hardcovers, because she spent her teenage years getting books from the second-hand store when the students were allowed to visit the nearby village & she kept an ever-expanding stack of old yellowing paperbacks on top of her chest of drawers, and she adores the feeling of the wafer-thin pages, the smell of them, even gross stuff like spots of blood on the pages from where people accidentally pressed an open cut down over a sentence.

the too-white pages of many modern books, and their thick, almost laminate feeling drives her up the wall. she loves second-hand bookstores and the way the books are stacked all haphazardly, to the ceiling, and they are 1 or 2 euros so you can get a stupid stack of them & pay with a crumply note and take them home and feel full for days.

Ava gets impatient with fiction that doesn’t feel real to her. overly-constructed stuff & characters who could never be real people. she likes messy narratives and non-linearity and she wants to know about the characters more than anything, because people fascinate her.

she likes books with plenty of dialogue, but also really appreciates introspective narratives & beautiful language & writers who can make her really feel like she’s there, and communicate alien experiences.

what are genres and/or tropes they absolutely will not read and/or are very picky about? what are genres & tropes they love?

well, obviously Beatrice loves non-fiction. she reads textbooks, she reads academic papers, she reads very old foundational texts in science & biology & philosophy because Beatrice really really likes understanding things.

one of the first books Cam sends her, which gets dumped right into the “broody bones’ library <3” subsection of the server, which Bea has a login for and everything, is Biology of Spiders by Foelix Rainer, & another file that just has about 3000 images of different spiders pulled from an internet search, so that Beatrice can swipe through them at her leisure (she can name-drop a terrifying number of them just by looking at the pic)

she adores Carl Sagan’s Cosmos (& even gets Ava to watch the TV series, which is not hard because Ava gets fully 0 _ 0 when Bea goes on sleepy rants about space). & ofc she has A Brief History of Time, but she gravitates too towards modern books on astronomy, and likes especially The Disordered Cosmos by Chanda Prescod-Weinstein because it is doing a lot of things & it makes her cry a few times. she reads a lot of very old astronomy papers too. again drawn to that line from Monsignor Lemaître:

“the believer has perhaps the advantage of knowing that the enigma has a solution, that the underlying writing is, when all is said and done, the work of an intelligent being, therefore that the problem raised by nature has been raised in order to be solved.”

she likes that. the world as a puzzle god put in her hands, though before it felt more like He had put a shovel there & told her to dig a grave (but not who the grave might be for).

with Ava, reading under the awning of the bar on her break, she feels like the puzzle has come back again and it is intricate; that maybe something as simple as a body might unlock it.

on that note, Beatrice also loves loves loves science-fiction. she grew up reading second-hand stuff. very weird, but very thoughtful. Dune and  Solaris and Flowers for Algernon and The Dispossessed. when Cam sends her the more modern stuff she devours things like The Three-Body Problem by Liu Cixin and Annihilation by Jeff Vandermeer and also the Murderbot Diaries.

many others, but as a genre she’s drawn to it because it is often very profoundly human. & she still remembers reading the Star Wars Jedi Apprentice books in her room at boarding school, & how fun they were, and how even in the strangest places with the premise that everything is so, so different, there is a humanity that reasserts itself.

it suits the gentle texture of the faith that Beatrice actually has, which is not the faith of hard church benches and prayers before bed and holding her hand too close overtop of a votive candle. her faith is very soft, and it is about marvelling at the world, worrying about it, being tender towards it.

sci-fi does that for her. it says much in the way of ‘even if everything were different, the best and worst parts of us would remain the same. there will never be a point in history where we do not have to deal with what we are.’

i think she also likes poetry, and just weird good books that make you feel things. i think at some point in those two months she reads Autobiography of Red, remembering herself on the train and staring staring staring at the line “sometimes a journey makes itself necessary.”  

looking back and thinking that sometimes a girl makes a journey necessary, thinking of being shipped off to boarding school because of a girl and now shipped off to Switzerland again but with a girl. thinking of necessity, and the small ways in which she has managed to alter the meaning of that word.

other lines that strike her

“This would be hard

for you if you were weak

but you’re not weak”

“Well Goodnight Then they said and drove him up/ Those hemorrhaging stairs…Don’t want to go want to stay Downstairs and read.”

she likes Anne Sexton, too

reading “Sylvia’s Death” & knowing that it’s about something else but also thinking about her sisters. about lilith, especially.

“Thief —

how did you crawl into,

crawl down alone

into the death I wanted so badly and for so long”

the only genre she’s not going to read ever probably is crime/ thrillers, because not only does she just constantly have a little voice in her head going

wrong, wrong, wrong.

no it doesn’t work like that.

wrong.

you just broke both your legs.

that is not how you fire a gun

some of it just sits too close to the bone for her & it’s bad enough that she has her own memories of real-world bad things happening without reading about it. possessed people ripping each other to pieces, bodies in the streets.

the OCS visited enough murder scenes on the trail of demons to make Beatrice capable of smelling, all over again, what happens to a room after a person has been dead in it for several hours.

so she just doesn’t want to read any crime or really most mystery novels (she’s too smart for them, sees things choreographed or else dislikes when things aren’t choreographed at all). she has attended too many autopsies to want to read about them either.

i think Ava reads VERY widely. she loves reading plays & acting them out in the apartment. she has her own little library on the OCS extranet too, & she downloads all of Shakespeare’s stuff & puzzles through it and googles stuff but the pentameter makes sense to her & she loves sometimes how initially inaccessible it is to her because it feels good to unearth the meaning.

her favourite plays are Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf and sadly Beatrice does persuade her to read Waiting for Godot and she does kind of think it’s good.

Ava is the one who likes reading fantasy books. she adores The Hobbit & this somehow leads to her finding the ‘legless lego legolas’ post & she spends a whole afternoon laughing randomly until Beatrice finally gives in to her curiosity and she is just ‘…. oh, Ava’ when she reads the crappy screenshot version of it that Ava shows her.

my girl Ava obviously loses it a bit over the Frodo/Sam dynamic in lotr (she likes to perform the travelling songs ofc. Ava is like repressed theatre kid energy fr) & Beatrice (happily) listens to her talk about Frodo and Sam for a whole half hour one evening while she chops vegetables.

Ava just really likes adventure stories & stories where characters are thrown together on a quest and become friends.

she’s obviously embarrassingly a sucker for the friends-to-lovers trope in fiction, but she also just enjoys stories about friendship because she’s had so few experiences of that in her life. she has  Beatrice and she kind of has Cam & everyone else doesn’t feel like a friend, exactly. Ava reads the Red Sister trilogy by Mark Lawrence and vibes so much with Nona Grey because of her wild and speechless loyalty to her friends (& yeah, the Sister Apple & Sister Kettle romance and the start of book 2 made her extremely giggly).

she also loves The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin bc the thing at the start of the book that goes “for all those who have to fight for the respect that everyone else is given without question” - Ava FELT that. & just the parallels for her in that book were very powerful. plus plate tectonics magic slaps.

& yeah, Ava is really interested in magic systems. she likes what they reveal about the worlds they exist in, and how they shape the narrative, and also just the rlly cool ones & the weird cheeky thrill of being like ‘….welp, i can do that too actually.’

Ava also really loves fiction with interesting characters and great dialogue and she loves description and colour and everything that pours life into art.

i’d say there isn’t much that Ava doesn’t like, but she isn’t huge into non-fiction because she MUCH prefers to just pester Beatrice about it, & have her voice explain things, and add her own little corrections and opinions with her cute smart smirk. and Ava thinks it is good for Beatrice to express her opinions on things.

she likes how Bea looks when she is Thinking and Processing, and also the excitement in her hands when she explains astrophysics or shows Ava a picture of a spider or tells her about obscure bits of architectural history, the banking system in Florence under the Medici, and all the knowledge she has been muffling with prayer.

Ava thinks that it is H O T but also important and Beatrice looks so free to her, and so good, when she is speaking on some subject with her eyes drifting freely around the room, always coming back to Ava, to her eyes, making sure she is still interested because Beatrice has been ignored so often, and stifled so often, but when she looks back Ava is always watching, and always listening.

so yeah! the girlies like to read & are very smart & i love them every day.

[marlutterianae]

DEMONOLOGY OF DISMALIA - DEMON CORES.

DEMON CORES, the ESSENCE of DEMONS. There's this old experiment I thought of called the 21 Grams Experiment. Some physician, in the early 20th century did some stupid test or another and came to the absolutely outlandish conclusion: "the soul is in the human body physically, and it weighs 21 grams". Weird anti-science to think of… Demon Cores.

The Demon Core does not refer to a specific, special organ in the Demons because the Demons are all physiologically and biologically divergent, they do not share a commonality such as a unique organ the Demon Core instead makes reference to effectively an organ, that may or may not be 21 grams heavier, as well as other certain special properties. It could be the Demon's brain, it could be the esophagus, it could be their skin (which makes vanquishing it difficult, as the skin is a huge organ) and, this particular organ in each particular Demon Holds It Together. Physically and Conceptually.

The easy way to understand it, if not realistic, the Demon Core is the fetus of the Demon. And it grows outwardly, into the shape the Demon is bound to take by its physiological, mental and spiritual characteristics.It is the "powerhouse" of the Demon. But given the diverse nature of Demon bodies, this "core" manifests as the Demon's specific needs, which makes it physiologically unique. Its spiritual center, quite literally. Its source of vitality, the flow of Sanguine Substance, of its abominable regeneration. Demons are perfectly balanced beings. We go back to Alchemy, and why Demons are viewed as the pinnacle of existence. Doubtless in their perfectly balanced triad. Of Body, Mind and Spirit.

Tying it back to Doubtlessness, there is absolutely no need for the Demon to be anymore than it already is than the shape it has taken as opposed to humans, who struggle with their meager form to be mildly okay at a lot of things, Demons are the pinnacle of whatever they so "choose" to be. And by that, Demons are never one thing beneath their flesh and systems. They choose their core, of their being, by being what they are, doubtlessly. "I am a Demon of Devouring, and thus, my core is my Stomach, always has been."

This generates a chicken & Egg situation where it's like does the Demon core select the body or is the body selecting the Demon core and never, ever address that it is the chicken and the egg and thinking about it is insane and yes, a Demon of enough consciousness will tell you that its mind is in its brain, and he inhabits his body as a physical being, but his Soul courses through his body and is rooted in the Demon Core a step ahead of Humanity once more. Humanity wonders how to even define consciousness, or souls the Demon is like "I have an organ that hosts me".

And to answer that question from the perspective of an educated Hunter: Both, simultaneously, is the quickest answer Bosco would give, but only because giving it further thought would drive the brain to sink as an ouroboros, something that only Demons can do. It is also why Demon corpses, dead meat matter, still have some "latent vile vitality" in them. Or when severing a limb, it is still able to lash, shiver and even attack. Their consciousness, their "Mind", is freely distributed throughout their carnal self.

This is also where Fleshmorphs come into the concept. Which are senseless beings, Demon Larvae, that is yet to coagulate into a conceptual form. They don't think, ergo, they barely exist physically, some of them are a gore goop in the vague shape or shade of something, trying to coagulate into a fully fleshed out Demon. The Fleshmorph exists, however. The Fleshmorph is the equivalent of, demonic Bacteria. Which is nearly infinitely abundant. And it has a core, one more simply defined. It "feeds", more as a means to absorb essence, vitality, heat, energy of other beings, to coagulate into a more concrete form. Concrete coagulation, it is the tempering of their being. Their soul, hosted by their organs. The physical encasing the spiritual, in order to enlighten the mindful.

It's also how Fleshmorphs can transcend their state. The Demon Core hardens, expands and becomes more capable of taking Its Shape. "Its shape" being predefined by the three characteristics of the Demon Core in unison. Physical, Mental and Spiritual.

[girlyholic]

tw: sh mention // i love girly kei, it seems more manageable as I'm getting older and don't have time or money for egl anymore. I don't want to be associated with jirai PRECISELY because I did fall into the "stereotype" (substance abuse problems, sh etc.). i'm recovering but should i not get into it though bc i do have very visible sh scars? i don't want to perpetuate stigma around the style or push negative stereotypes but at the same time i can't really do anything about what my body looks like. ty for reading <3

I want you to know that Girly Kei can be worn by everyone, Anon! Nothing should stop you from wearing it.

"Landmine" as a stereotype came into existence from people labeling others as being a toxic type of person from completely arbitrary traits, such as clothes, hairstyles, interests, and perceived mental illness based on said traits. While it's true people use the label to say they are the stereotype, that doesn't make everyone who "fits" the stereotype it for simply existing.

Having mental illness or self harm scars while wearing Girly does not inherently promote the stereotype at all! In fact, there's also wearers of the fashion who identify as Menhera, to the point you can find the typical mental health prints on some Girly releases.

There's no need to force a label you don't identify with upon yourself, and it's nobody's business to pin that label on you, either.

Your existence is not a stereotype, and you won't be contributing to any stigma by just wearing the fashion you love as mentally-ill person, either.

[dreidful]

reid tūwhare is a twenty-seven year old half-god from hamilton, new zealand and is the son of hinenuitepō, the maori goddess of night and the underworld. he's been at camp since he was eighteen years old and is a little apprehensive about being in the ark. reid is a optimistic, solicitous, and observant kind of fellow. only time will tell what will happen to one of our intrepid heroes !

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒

𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄.    reid hakopa tūwhare 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐒.     n/a 𝐀𝐆𝐄.     27 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 & 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒.     cis male & he / him 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.     bisexual homoromantic  𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐒.     half god ( son of hinenuitepō )  𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.     half god ( never had a job )

𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑.     black 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒.     brown 𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐆���𝐓.     5'10 / 178.77 cm 𝐁𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐃.     lean 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐒.     none 𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐒.     cultural tattoo from his back to his left ankle 𝐏𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒.     none 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌.    alex aiono

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓.     neutral good 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐒.     optimistic, solicitous, and observant 𝐍𝐄𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐒.     quirky, disillusioned, and ritualistic 𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒.     conversing with spirits, watching 90s romantic comedies, playing rugby, and hiking

𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃

𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋.     optimistic but prone to deep contemplation 𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋.     enhanced condition to being a demigod 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐀𝐒.     immortality 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓.     20/20 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃.     left 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐆 𝐔𝐒𝐄.     organic substances only 𝐀𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐇𝐎𝐋 𝐔𝐒𝐄.     none 𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐓.     no diet restrictions or preferences

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒.     jacob tūwhare ( biological father, deceased ; from a car accident at 18 ) and hinenuitepō ( biological mother ) 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒.     anaru and odelle tūwhare (raised by paternal grandparents) 𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒.     n/a 𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐒.     n/a 𝐄𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.     high school diplom 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐒.     big picture thinking, cheering others up, maori history and mythology, and tying a cherry stem with his tongue 𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐏.     eighteenth birthday ( 9 years )

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘

reid hakopa tūwhare was born of desperation and pity. a soul lost too soon ; a mournful prayer to a god of old and mercy returned a half god made of soul and spirit to the mortal parents of a dead son. from his conception, reid's validity had been in question outside of the community of those in hamilton who still honored the old gods with prayer and worship. reid himself grew up fairly odd, spoken to candidly of his existence and that he was born of a prayer granted by a benevolent god. he looked just like his father too, the young man recently an adult taken too soon. reid had always felt so deeply and had consideration for all life forms in their journey. the kid was genuinely optimistic and even while facing danger , he had no fear. the well of his emotions ran deep as the pacific did to the depths of tangaroa and the boy could spend a lot of his time in consideration and contemplation. it wasn't until he had been recruited to the maori camp that his perspective shifted massively. on his eighteenth birthday, a spectre appeared in a dream which felt more like looking into an aging mirror. here, is where he had first met his father as an envoy to hinenuitepō and an explanation that he was divine as a child of them both. the threat of the extinction of the maori pantheon along with others of the pacific was something that weighed on reid heavily and that's when he decided to answer the call of his parents — with the stipulation that he would return home as long as his grandparents were still alive to celebrate his birthday with them. at twenty-three and twenty-five, they too passed over to the realm of hinenuitepō. the last nine years had been tough with only a handful of half gods being called to defend their parents and with the evils prevailing even more. they would occsaionally rely on other pantheons for support, but they only ever fought if they felt like it was something they could actually change. now with the last few months and this merge to the ark ; reid is missing the pacific more and more and forced to dealing with egos he never quite had to before. he can only hope that with more divinity concentrated, perhaps it will give enough momentum and power for them to collectively make a difference.

[lavvythejackalope]

Hopefully I’ll finish this someday but in the meantime here’s a WIP of my boi, Leon.

Lenny here is a long running oc of mine who was long overdue a revamp / design solidify. I don’t usually post much of my stuff of him because both he and his homeworld are terrible and problematic.

Leon Fenwick exists across a multitude of universes in different forms and lives, but this is his ‘Prime’ iteration, and arguably the worst one. The son of an old wealth family whose identical twin dragged them both into shenanigans that ended with the two of them disowned and Leon in prison. Leon didn’t do well there, fell into very bad habits and even worse crowds and ended up getting out early on the condition that he provide law work for a local criminal organization. Leo is a coward who really only cares about getting revenge on his twin and keeping himself alive until then, and suffered from several addictions (both to dangerous substances as well as behaviors).

If you grabbed him by the ankles and shook him upside down drugs would just fall out of him like the worlds worst limp piñata.

don’t even get me started on his weird thing with his not-even-really-an-ex.

so anyway I hope y’all understand now why I don’t post him much Ty for comin

[ailurocide]

:D OK OK I HAVE A LOT (and i’ll mark my asks w/ -🪷 just so inremember which asks i sent lol)

is there a in-universe reason as to why the fealty has a prefix-suffix naming system?

HECK YEAH TY LOTUS ANON!!

Prefix-Suffix Naming and it’s Origins

While the Fealty’s religion claims otherwise, historically, the Vale was initially settled by a few primarily felfolk families that all hailed from different sources. Some of these families that hailed from the distant mountains held distinctive two-part names: a given name and a family name.

[Ex: Gray Sky and Clear Sky, sons of Raining Sky. Tall Shadow and Slight Shadow, children of Moss Shadow. Etc.]

This was to prevent inbreeding as much as possible, and separate the bloodlines into families that could be awarded accomplishments onto the whole of their kin. They had no other purpose than to identify a felfolk by their family and to address them by.

These families were not alone, though, and were quickly joined by others who held varying names of their own, though most commonly, sounds or sights, plants or creatures of the Aerth.

[Ex: Birch and Alder, siblings. Bumble. Crackle. Etc.]

Over time, however, this became an inefficient way to identify folk, as with a sudden slew of plagues, temperature fluctuations, and territorial disputes that often ended in death, “honor” names began to crop up more and more, resulting in the exact same names for different folk, which was clunky and confusing rather than honorable, as intended. These names were then morphed into being either shortened or elongated, but the most popular means of this new sort of naming was to add a word that made them very pretty or aesthetic.

[Ex: Dying Ember, Dust of Chalk, Fluttering of a Moth. Etc.]

With more time, the stretching of these names morphed into a coming-of-age ceremony, in which a felfolk would receive one small part of their name, and then go on to gain the rest of it upon reaching adulthood. This eventually morphed into the longer, aesthetic names being shortened into just two words - a prefix and a suffix -, which would later become the modern Fealty’s way of naming.

These two-term names changed a lot over the ages.

The prefixes had come into existence, and were typically that of a folk’s appearance, usually color or pattern, or of an object that resembled their appearance. [Ex: A black cat being named “Shadow”. A golden cat being named “Honey”, after the golden substance. A gray cat being named “Clay” for the riverbank’s clay. Etc.] The suffixes came later on, and were a rite of passage for those born into the society that were slowly perfecting these names. The leaders of these groups as well as the individual’s dame would gather to discuss these suffixes, and certain words began meaning certain things: “Shadow is very aggressive and good at fighting, so they’ll be known as Shadowclaw. Honey is very sweet and small, so they’ll be Honeyberry. Clay is very sturdy, and they’ve got a distinctive stripe down their back, so they’ll be Clayback.” It soon became common practice that the suffix was to be symbolic of an individual’s skill, personality, or general competence, to display not only what they could best serve their faction with, but to silently boast with. There was still a lot of leeway and unspoken symbolism at this time with suffixes, however, and over time, their meanings became lost to time.

What did “storm” truly mean when in regards to a folk? What did “breeze”? “Shine”? It meant so many things. But when looking upon folk with suffixes evoking a body part, things became much clearer. It’s far easier to see that a folk named “-leg” is swift and sure-footed, rather than a folk named “-bright”, who is… What. Bright-eyed? Bright-furred? Mentally bright? Body part suffixes were adopted due to their simplicity, and their ability to convey a skill much more clearly.

Finally, folk sat down and etched out the meanings of each body part to bestow upon those earning their names. Gone now were the “-storm”, “-bounce”, etc that could be embodied into something far simpler to understand, something that could be far easier to remember and felt more solid rather than flowy and aesthetic. These names, the prefix and suffixes, finally came together smoothly, in a way that could prove to be recognizable and impressive in of themselves, as well as the figure that they represented.

Names carry great significance within the Fealty. In short, they’re meant to be used as a quick identifier, and to act as a representation of one’s identity, to help guide them to a path that would be best for themselves and for their faction as a whole.

The flower names came with the Evergreens.