#u get to create the shape of the face and everything... watch it come to life as u add the right colours... its so cool

[dandyshucks]

if i didn't have to eat then i think I'd spend the entire day just working on digital painting tbh,,, it feels like sculpting and i love it sm :]

[flowerwrites06]

hey. Hope you doing good. Are u ok with : arranged marriage, mafia, dubcon,wedding night, proof of consummation,guilt,angst

jungkook or taehyung

COMPROMISE

Information: Jungkook ft. Taehyung | Mafia AU | The underworld king had everything to give Jungkook on one condition. Warnings: sexual content, arranged marriage, dub-con (not explicit).

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・． .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

"What're you doing here?" Jungkook asked, mid-way through his second glass of whiskey to get some of the day melted away from his mind. Unfortunately, Belle had no intention of making this simple and straight-forward for him. Not by a long shot.

She stood there in his office, wearing her sweet satin nightgown and cheeks blushed. Ready and ripe for the wedding night with Taehyung. But anger rushed through her glossed eyes. "They're suggesting a witness for the event," she said.

Jungkook swirled his glass around, focusing his gaze on the gold liquid instead of how nice the room smelled when she stood in it. "I told them it's not necessary."

"Well, they're insisting and I gave them a name."

Jungkook paused. Jaw tightened as heat formed at the nape of his neck. "Is this a joke?"

"You can laugh on your way to the room," Belle said.

"I'm not doing it," he said.

"Really, you were so happy to throw me into this marriage and now it's too much for your stomach?” She tilted her head, looking at him with the fiercest poison.

"Your father promised me to create this alliance.” Jungkook pointed. “It was part of the deal."

"Because you wanted to be boss. Now you get to see all your hard work paid off." Belle gestured to the door with glossed eyes.

"I can tell them it's not necessary to do the wedding night," Jungkook said.

"And explain it to them how?" Belle asked. "You can't half-ass everything in your life."

Jungkook looked away with a scoff. "I'm trying to help you."

Belle let out a bitter chuckle. "If you really wanted to help me, I wouldn't be married to that monster." She turned on her heel and walked out of the room, leaving him with more nerves than he started with.

Jungkook never wanted to agree to this stupid alliance. They both knew Taehyung was unstable and an asshole. There was a reason why his first wife left for something else and yet here they were.

Belle's father always knew how to keep his chokehold on everyone even in sickness.

Now Jungkook had to watch the woman he loved fuck her new husband. All this for a seat in this tobacco stinking office.

With a sigh, Jungkook chugged the rest of his whiskey and made his way to the marital bedroom. He saw his guards come to him. "Slip something in Taehyung's drink. Whatever it takes, make sure that idiot isn't fully conscious."

The guard nodded and walked off to the end of the hallway.

As Jungkook entered the bedroom, another member of the syndicate from Taehyung's side, Dija, stood at the corner like a lurching rat. There were curtains to cover most of the act itself but it was translucent enough for him to catch shapes.

A shape of Belle lay on the bed.

Many minutes passed.

"Master Kim often takes a while to prepare," Dija explained.

"Well, we don't have all night." Jungkook crossed his arms over his chest. "Get him to fucking hurry."

Dija lost his smile as he scurried to the corner room. A few minutes of silence.

Jungkook, for the briefest of seconds, wanted to just grab Belle and take her away from here. But he just stood there in silence. As he always did.

Taehyung then walked into the main bedroom, stumbling slightly. He looked over at Jungkook with a slightly drunken smile, clearing his throat. "Sorry about the wait. I was just loosening up."

Jungkook hummed in disappointment but was glad the man was too weak to coordinate himself.

Taehyung slithered through the curtains. The look of hunger on his face enough for Jungkook to imagine scooping those eyes out and making him eat them.

Shapes moved. All he could do was hear his own heartbeat and Taehyung light grunts as he attempted to climb on top of Belle.

Ten seconds passed before it stopped. No one moved.

Taehyung let out a long sigh before his shape slid off, the springs squeaked.

Belle cleared her throat lightly as the moment of silence spread through them.

Dija stammered. "Sir?"

Belle's form lifted up. "I think he's asleep."

"Did he not...did he not perform?" Dija tried to take steps forward towards the curtains.

Belle scoffed out a light chuckle. "I'm sure he tried his best."

Jungkook let out a breath of relief. "Well…we could push past this incident and tell everyone the wedding night was a success. Would be a shame if people found out Master Kim is. . .incapable.”

Dija looked nervous, stammering to argue back but there was not a single piece of spine in his back to let anything out. "It seems the wedding night was successful. We’ll leave you to your peace," Dija cleared his throat and walked out of the room.

Belle sighed, resting back on the bed while Taehyung lay, nearly snoring next to her. She saw Jungkook still standing there in silence. "You can't drug him forever, you know."

"I drug everyone else indirectly, why not him?" Jungkook asked.

Belle shook her head.

Jungkook took a breath to say something. Anything at all. That he was sorry. That he hated the promises her father made him keep in exchange for power. That he was weak enough to agree to them. "Let me know if you need anything." He walked near the door.

Belle pursed her lips together, heart aching. "Yes, boss."

Jungkook sighed, closing the door behind him as his chest twisted into nothingness. This was for the best. It had to be. 

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

send your drabble ideas here!

[xoxovalerie-c]

Blog Post Week 4: Due 9/19

How have names contributed to racial bias in both technology and society, and what are the consequences?

I truly believe that names, including nicknames, are strongly tied to people’s identities. For example, I get upset when my boyfriend calls me by my full name because it feels rude I prefer being called Val. So, yes, names matter they’re more than just labels. They reflect culture, status, etc. Think about how Kylie Jenner was criticized for naming her baby Stormi, but now many moms love that name. An uncommon name but Kylie’s social status changed that. So, how has technology contributed to making names a source of racism? It does. Studies have shown that they found that algorithms associated White- sounding names with “pleasant” words and Black-sounding names with “unpleasant” ones (Benjamin, 2019). This shapes how society perceives names. For instance, law enforcement is developing as their use of technology increases. This can cause where an unfamiliar name might lead to someone being unfairly judged as a “criminal.” The fact that technology uses names as a data point is a red flag. It’s not technology itself that’s racist-it’s the people who designed it, embedding their own social biases into these systems.

Why is technology being compared to Jim Crow law? 

Jim Crow laws were designed to continue the separation of black and white people in everyday life, without explicitly saying it but enforcing segregation through legal means. These laws affected everything from where people could eat to where they could vote. Similarly, technology today has created a digital divide between those who have access to technology and the internet and who don’t. But truly it just isn’t a gap between socioeconomic but rather identities. The problem is, some argue that addressing this issue might violate freedom of speech. But why are we accepting racism online as something that’s okay? Just like Jim Crow laws, technology has created barriers that deepen inequality. 

How does intersectionality shape individuals experiences in a digital space?

As Crenshaw explained, intersectionality is a way to understand inequality by looking at how different parts of a person's identity comes together. It's a prism for understanding many more social problems. Encourages people to think about advantages and disadvantages (Crenshaw, 2018). This idea helps us understand how various aspects of identity, like race and gender, combine to affect experiences with discrimination. For example, algorithms and online platforms can create unique challenges for people depending on their race, gender, and socioeconomic status. When creating fairer digital policies and technologies, it’s important to consider these overlapping identities. Identity is about the relationships between people in different communities and understanding each person’s unique background, both in the physical world and online.

Why is there a lack of awareness of these biases being present in major social platforms?

Noble discusses a case where Google was showing explicit content when searching for the term “Black women.” Google claimed this was due to a glitch in the system. However, Noble pointed out that it’s hard to believe such significant glitches could occur without the creators of these programs being aware of them. This issue isn’t highlighted because these are considered legitimate and trusted programs, yet they still fail to address these problems. As society, unawareness comes from normalizing bias. What we need to do is hold more accountability of the issue that is being put into our faces. 

Benjamin, R. (2019). Race After Technology.

Noble, S. U. (2018). Algorithms of oppression. https://doi.org/10.2307/j.ctt1pwt9w5

National Association of Independent Schools (2018, June 22). Kimberlé Crenshaw: What is Intersectionality? [Video]. Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViDtnfQ9FHc

[ksbbb]

(This doesn’t count as one of the ones for the celebration u can replace one of the others or add it in or whatever but) ❝  just let me look at you for a little bit.  ❞ for anyone u want

Home is Where You Are

Dropping off Liam and his friends at college wasn’t something he planned on doing, and it certainly wasn’t anything he thought he’d ever want to do, but somehow Liam has found a way to convince him. Convince him just like everything else he always convinces him of, and always in a way where Theo has no other choice but to say yes. 

The things Liam asks of him has always involved spending some level of time with him. Whether it's driving him somewhere, helping him with biology homework, helping with something Stiles needs, or even advice on life in general. He’s always said yes. He isn’t the best person with life advice, but Liam wants the company more than anything else, and who is Theo to deny the person that makes him want to get up every morning.

Liam has made him soft, and those are not even his own words, they’re Corey’s. Corey and his teasing about how Theo has done a 180 in terms of his character. Always willing to help, never saying no if it involves saving Liam’s ass, which happens more often than it should, but honestly Theo would do most anything to ensure the other werewolf has made his way home safely. 

A home that has now become Theo’s too. All Liam had to do was make those sad blue eyes grow wide when he learned Theo was living in his truck, and that was all it took. He didn’t even have to beg, although the chimera would never even need him to, but Liam only had to stare at him for a total of 5 seconds before he agreed to go home with him. 

Corey and Mason made sure to tease him about it, and Jenna made sure to never let him leave the house without breakfast. It wasn’t terrible. Dr. Geyer was always kind and giving advice, even when Liam grumbled about it, because he was mortified that his father believed they were dating. Liam had to stop him from going into the “be safe talk”, while Theo sat in his chair laughing and earning glares from Liam the entire time. 

They aren’t actually dating, but he doesn’t mind letting others think they are because it causes Liam to be enraged, and causes a good laugh for Theo. Corey and Mason will sometimes tease them about it. They know they aren’t dating, but it doesn’t stop them from pointing out everything they do, and claim that how they act is very couple-like. Theo doesn’t let it annoy him too much, even when Liam is seething about it, almost making him insulted that he’s so bent out of shape about possibly being with Theo that he has to stew about it for hours. It hurts sometimes but he gets it.

Liam has imprinted himself on his heart, maybe his very soul, always around, never letting him get a moment's peace, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s grown accustomed to Liam in the morning, eating his cereal, while he rolls his eyes about class, and Theo being cranky when he has to get up early. He's grown accustomed to him in the afternoon where Liam has to text him immediately to explain why he has found himself in the woods instead of class, trying to figure out some supernatural issue while Theo has to find him to ensure he isn’t about to come face to face with a villain that he needs help with.  

Tonight though, he has agreed to watch a movie with Liam before they take off for college in the morning. He even convinced Theo to pick it, with his pouty lips, and soft blue eyes gazing back at him, creating a burning inside of his chest. One that threatens to ignite at any second, making him explode with feelings he never even knew he was capable of having until he met Liam, but he’s here now. He can’t shake him, with his chaotic ideas, angry moods, and smile that takes over whenever he teases Theo about anything.

“Are you going to turn it on, or be annoying and in your thoughts?” Liam frowns up at him, as he lays on the couch, and huffs at him for taking too long to switch on the movie.  His eyebrows are furrowed as he looks up at him.

“Maybe I should pick something else.” Theo admits, doubting his choice, and leaning back on the couch, while Liam throws up his hands in frustration.

“You’ve picked 8 different ones!” Liam sighs, dramatically throwing his arms over his face, and leaning back so his head is now laying across the chimeras lap. 

Theo doesn’t move, sitting still, waiting for Liam to speak, or move, anything to help Theo from ripping the couch cushion open from having to control his heart rate from skipping in his chest. Liam looks up, smiling, raising his eyebrows and motions for him to turn it on.

It’s a good distraction from having to focus on his own actions and what Liam might hear . He turns on the movie, and rolls his eyes as A Bug’s Life flashes on the screen.  Liam was thrilled when he mentioned it. Apparently Mason and Liam have been discussing Theo and his need for children’s films that he missed out on growing up. He chose it to appease Liam and his ever growing need to help Theo learn about things he missed as a child, but as he watches the first few minutes, he doesn’t hate it. 

Liam rolls over to face the TV screen, pulling a blanket over himself, and snuggling into Theo’s lap, not making any move to sit anywhere else.  Theo swallows roughly, keeping his eyes on the screen, his body from moving, and his heart from coming out of his chest from how frantically it's beating. He knows Liam must hear it, but he doesn’t say a word, not even when Jenna peaks her head in and smiles at them. 

The movie goes on and Theo is able to refocus his attention on it and even shifts his legs to prevent them from falling asleep, with no help from Liam who has decided to pass out and start snoring softly. He shakes his head,  pulls the cover over Liam more firmly, and ignores the sharp pain he feels about dropping Liam off tomorrow. 

He knew this day was coming, but he wasn’t expecting to be so attached to another person that he actually feels as if he’s losing something. Not being able to see Liam complain about Theo and his snarky attitude in the morning, or text him he needs to get picked up from the clinic that he wasn’t supposed to be at, is something he has gotten used to.  Liam is a presence. A presence he has grown very fond of, and one that makes the day a little better, almost bearable, even when they have nothing to do but watch a movie like this. 

Theo turns the movie off. He peers over to stare at Liam. He takes in his peaceful face, the lines of his jaw, the gentle rise of his chest while he sleeps, and the messy hair he will no longer be able to see every morning. He bites his bottom lip, willing himself to get a grip, to realize he will see Liam on holidays, or even sooner if Liam has a problem and he probably will, but it’s not enough. 

He’s never connected with another soul the way he has to Liam. The way he carries himself, his antics, and his way of being unapologetically him. It’s something he can barely put into words but he can feel it. Every time Liam smiles, frustrates him, calls to tell him he has another idea, or innocently looks back at him with his blue eyes when he’s trying to get Theo to agree to help him, he feels it. It’s probably the most terrifying thing he’s ever dealt with. To care. Care about someone so much that he can't see himself being without them for more than a day.

“Hey.” Theo looks down and sees Liam looking up at him, a small smile on his lips, and a yawn leaves him while Theo smiles back. Liam looks over at the TV screen and starts to get up, but Theo quickly pushes him back down gently.

Liam frowns, his face filled with confusion, as Theo clears his throat, attempting to explain himself as he nervously fiddles with the fuzz coming out of the couch. A much needed distraction while Liam continues to look up at him, his head still in Theo’s lap, looking tired but content as he smiles at Theo. 

“Theo.” Liam whispers, saying his name as if it’s the only one that matters at the moment and Theo can feel his heart race again, as his palms become sweaty, but he can’t even say it. Not now but maybe someday. Instead, he can say something that he wants to do. 

“Just let me look at you for a little bit.” Theo whispers, gently stroking his hand through Liam’s hair, and he hears a small whimper from him, but he won’t say anything. He won’t ruin this because this….

It’s enough.

[remyfire]

It definitely is! I always love some AUs, but I have so much trouble coming up with them for this show because so few things can match the energy of being at war together. The small space and the trauma and everything else combine to create some really interesting character dynamics, and they're so hard to replicate in a place with lower stakes or more space or just anything where one of the variables is changed. I have so much respect for someone who can write it well (and will definitely read that fic) and wish I could do the same! But hey, making things far more complicated than they need to be is the life of a writer 😂

I completely understand how you feel with the canoe ship though, I am the Queen of Canoes in a couple of my other fandoms 😂 I literally originated a ship tag for one on Ao3, so I'm right there with you on the tiny ships I would go to war for lmao. But yes BJ is so husband coded all the time! BJ Papa San showed it most explicitly, but even just the little things he does in camp are him trying to connect to the husband and father part of himself he left behind when he got sent over to Korea. He's a good person, but he also so genuinely enjoys that role, and it's so obvious to see if you're looking for it. We love a man that's respectful and kind 😤

Mulcahy is so interesting, and I look forward to that episode mentioned! Due to several literature and art classes over the course of my schooling I have become very good at using my Catholic upbringing to completely overanalyze Catholic media, and I am absolutely delighted to be able to pull it in here. It's clear that Mulcahy is genuinely kind and believes in goodness, and I think if he ever comes to the realization that religion isn't always the way to show that it'll tear him apart. He's devoted so much of his life to his religion (hell the man is named after three saints, he was practically BORN to be a priest) so anything that can dismantle that would hit him really hard. And unfortunately, I love throwing my favorite characters into difficult situations, so sorry in advance Father. I loved the glimpse into his head in Dear Sis, and I genuinely had to rewind a few times to watch Hawkeye talking to him over again. It's just so a u g h (affectionate)

I also just finished C*A*V*E and oh boy oh boy I could probably write half a novel on this already but I'll try to keep it short for now. The Hawkeye and Margaret connection! The deeper peek into who Hawkeye is as a person rather than just a doctor, and what actually makes him tick! Margaret sharing her own fears and offering to sit with him to make him feel better! BJ staying close to Hawkeye when he had to come check on his patient in the cave so Hawk knows he has someone safe nearby! Margaret and Hawkeye facing their fears together! Hawk playing a dumb little game with her in the OR to take her mind off things!! This episode is truly making me Feral oh my god, I don't think it will ever leave my brain, it's just gonna live there now.

It is SUCH a good show! I knew it was before but now that I'm actually watching it through I'm getting the full weight of it and god it's a masterpiece. You can talk about the cultural impact all day, but it's hard to truly understand w h y it had such an impact until you're watching it yourself and picking up on all these little intricacies. I've been keeping a list of good episodes for myself, just for Personal Reasons I can't really explain, and there are f a r too many episodes on that list already. So many are just so good, I want to remember them and rewatch them and frankly just roll around in them like a dog that's found a particularly nice patch of grass. This show already shaped me when I watched it with my parents when I was younger but genuinely I don't think I will be the same after watching it all the way through. Just, what a show.

Weeping. After reading this, I had to go check my Canoe status. In this fandom, I have originated 5 ship tags (Trap/Peg, BJ/Leo, BJ/Klinger, Margie/Klinger, Sam/Sid/Hawk) and I have been between the 2nd and 5th story in 10 more ship tags (Sid/Beej, Marg/Beej, Trap/Mulcahy, Trap/Margie, Hawk/Klinger, Marg/Beej/Hawk, Trap/Klinger, Sid/Beej/Hawk, Sid/Sam, BJ/Charles). Why did I do this to myself. It's a lonely life isn't it hfksdfds

But it also makes perfect sense that this fandom is ripe for rare ships because though they are in the center of a situation that demands order, there is very little sense of actual social order as they might experience back home. I think even if I wasn't The Way I Am with multishipping, I'd still be compelled to go, "Yeah, you know what, everything is pretty permissible here. The line between friendship and lover blurs often. There's not much demand for monogamy among denizens of this camp. They're seeking comfort and love where they can find it and they're all very good at giving it." It compels me idk

I'm really enjoying hearing your thoughts about Mulcahy!! I feel the same way about him as well, how he's ripe for a thunderbolt realization or two that his faith isn't going to be the Way and, in fact, is often dealing the damage in a lot of situations. I love you mentioning his three names, though. It immediately takes my mind right back to Trapper and his own long series of very Catholic names. Trap, I am putting you in a jar and staring very hard at you. Tell me your Catholic past. Did you really consider becoming a priest. Why didn't you and Mulcahy get more screen time together.

CAVE MY BELOVED. CAVE, my Margaret/Hawk/BJ thesis (yes, even in a platonic sense, I promise, no one come for me). I think the first time I heard BJ say, "Thank heavens none of us has to stand it alone," I had to pause and fold my hands and stare at the wall. The support all three of them give each other. BJ bringing a cup of comfort and it being passed to Margaret because Hawkeye knows she needs it too. It always makes me sad when people read that as a jealousy moment from BJ when he snuggles down just as close to her and isn't being snippy or annoyed at her presence. He cares them! He cares them both! And such a really lovely way for Hawk and Margaret to continue sinking into each other, to carve out even more level ground between them, ugh. I'm unwell about it. It's so delightful.

It really is so fascinating, returning to this show as adults, huh? It's a completely different experience. There's some grief there because we can still relate to so much of what they're talking or snipping or griping about in our modern, continuously-war-waging era, but also it's absolutely remarkable how timeless it has become. And being able to analyze it now with such depth due to the easy streaming access and the online fan communities, it's incredible. Chef's kiss.

[spacebug07]

hi hi!!! bored so do you have anything you like want to infodump about? or just send a long post about or want me to research/read/watch/listen to or etc? this ask can take as long as u want or be as long as you want or whatever u want just curious :) can be about absolutely anything!!

hey there!

sooo this is pretty different from what i normally talk about BUT tlou hbo has reignited my hyperfixation on it and sadly they have taken over my brain once again. aaand i kind of feel like people are misinterpreting the core of the story at the moment, so. full ramble below the cut and yes i will be spoiling absolutely everything (including the next season, but i'll mark that part with a warning) so i am very sorry tumblr user hazmatazz if you can't read this now but. i NEED to get this off of my chest.

right off the bat, i'm going to get to the main thing: joel's lie.

a lot of what i'm about to explain is best summarized with the bts the making of clips that are shown at the end of look for the light but i feel a very deep need to spell this out for some of you.

NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION IS RIGHT OR WRONG!!!

and this is a running theme that i'm definitely going to get back to later because that's another main thing with tlou as a whole.. they tend to create very morally grey, not-right not-wrong characters, and that's on purpose. a large part of this story as a whole is to show how people (and humanity in a lot of cases) would react if we were put into these situations.

which leads us right back to what joel did.

the last of us offers this already very damaged, very broken person a really visceral, hard decision. and i feel like people are forgetting that these experiences, him losing sarah and tess and the promise he made to tess.. all of that shapes his decision to save ellie and protect her.

like (i believe it was, i don't have the time to check--) craig mazin said at the end of look for the light, a lot of tlou1 is about the deep, unconditional love of a parent. he was essentially offered to save his adoptive daughter or save humanity.

just think about his situation for a second. if you had this person that you loved like family, and you had to choose saving them over a world that is already long gone, would you? because i know i would, and i'm sure there are a lot of people that would agree with me.

and then there's ellie.

throughout the first part, ellie has this strange sort of, for lack of a better term, "chosen one" complex, where she has this mindset that's like, "okay, i have this really special, probably rare thing, and there's no one else like me, as far as we know. what can i do with that?" and her first answer is always to use it. the show takes this another step further in a small way when she tries to save sam, but it doesn't work, which is some pretty rough foreshadowing, but i'm getting off-topic.

ellie wants her immunity to mean something bigger, to be something greater than just something that can only stop her from getting infected. she wants to save and help people, because she couldn't save rylie or tess or sam, and she's watching all of these people die around her, and she can't do anything. so, obviously, when she finds out there's a chance she can change that, she's going to want to tak eit. and even more so, she's going to get hurt when joel, this person she loves and cares a lot about, stops that from happening on purpose and lies to her face about it.

they both have their reasons. does that make joel a little selfish, in some ways? maybe. but talk to any parent you know, and they would do the same thing. sometimes, when it comes to stuff like this, people can be inherently selfish. it doesn't mean that they're bad people, though.

you could argue for both sides here, and that's what makes all of this so complicated. ellie is a bordering-on-suicidal fourteen year old girl who wanted her immunity to mean something for other people, too. joel just wanted to keep her around and let her live a somewhat fulfilling life. you could also say that fedra wouldn't allow the vaccine to be distributed, or that the fireflies are liars or that maybe the fireflies were just trying to help, and you'd be right on all accounts. it is just too difficult to call either of these people wrong for getting upset and doing what they did.

season two spoilers start here!

i also sort of want to elaborate on that thing i said earlier about tlou and its characters, because i know for a fact we're going to have the same fights we got when tlou2 came out once season 2 is out, and i want to clear some stuff up right now before i lose my mind. yes, this is tangential. i do not care at all lmao

if you can forgive joel and tommy for all of the shitty things they've done, hell, if you can forgive ellie for what she does in part 2, then you can absolutely forgive abby, too. and if you don't, you're kind of biased and lack some very important empathy, imo.

let's just look at what these characters do during this conflict completely objectively, for a minute, sticking to the games' canon.(since s2 isn't out yet)

joel kills abby's father, the surgeon that was meant to kill ellie, in order to save her. abby, in turn, once she finds him, kills joel. ellie and tommy, out of pure grief and anger, track abby and her group down and kill all eight of them off one by one. ellie only spares abby once she's the last person standing and has a kid to take care of.

keep in mind, abby literally SPARED ellie and tommy. was this for some pretty harsh reasons? probably. but still. she said it herself, she let them live. she could have killed them at any time in that room, and she made the choice not to.

now, no one other than abby had really laid a hand on joel, other than wrapping that tourniquet around his leg at the very beginning. ellie still wanted them all dead, because they were there, and they helped, and they were friends with abby, and in ellie's eyes, that's crime enough to deserve punishment.

but we still love ellie. we still love tommy. we still root for both of them, because we understand their characters and empathize with them. (which was sort of the point of playing as abby for so long in part 2 but i guess some people just didn't click with that which is fine but ugh. you don't GET ITTTT)

on the outside looking in, abby really isn't any worse than either of them. you may even argue that she's better. but that's one of the driving themes of the games, and the story as a whole. no one is good or bad, we're all just people with separate motivations that intersect in bad ways.

spoilers end here!

i guess that's why i get so frustrated when i see that we're still misunderstanding the conflict between joel and ellie here. there isn't any right or wrong here! they are both just people who care about each other very deeply, and sometimes, because of that, they get hurt. if we're going to keep doing this i am begging you all not to watch season two. you're just going to get pissed off again.

[catch-the-wind]

when reader is sick hc's p2

PART 2 IS FINISHED WHOO

here's a link to part 1 uwu

so i'm still brainrotting over this and i would like to date almost every character rn~ i probably won't add more to this unprompted but if anyone wants a part 2 just shoot me an ask! <3

tags: gn!reader, xiao x reader, zhongli x reader, ningguang x reader, beidou x reader, kazuha x reader, amber x reader, keqing x reader, venti x reader, scaramouche x reader, thoma x reader

xiao

this man is so awkward goodbye

he’s really popping into the kitchen of wangshu inn like mr. smiley yanxiao i need an order of almond tofu and uhh whatever the hell it is sick people eat

asks cloud retainer if there’s a medicinal thing she’s created and hey can you fix my s/o

meanwhile his s/o is like xiao- xiao- XIAO- it’s a COLD i’ll SURVIVE, stop leaving me to find solutions and just come cuddle

so xiao cuddles <3 he’ll read to his partner but it’s likely he’s also just sitting there in silence holding his s/o

he likes the companionship, doesn’t talk much. comfy silence all around

his partner probably falls asleep on him at some point but he’s okay with it

he probably watches his partner while they rest and he’s super frowny because he hates seeing them in pain :(

but also the gentle forehead kisses while his partner rests <3

he tells zhongli that he needs time to be with his s/o while they’re ill. he makes it sound like his partner is dying which is...overdramatic but also he just wants to dote on them and make sure they’re okay

he asks verr goldet what things a sick person might want while his partner rests and then he tries to kinda sorta subtly ask for help getting them

tries to dote on his partner subtly but he’s so grumpy all the time LOL

n e ways he gives his partner smooches and cuddles and that’s all that matters uwu

zhongli

he doesn’t even have to really say it to hu tao, she just knows he’s about to ask for a few days off. he does ask, ofc bc he’s following the protocols of social etiquette

he goes to his partner’s home or they’re in his for the entire time they’re sick

has a shopping list of foods for a sick person, also gets tea

has no mora to purchase anything on his shopping list so he hits up tartaglia LMAO

tartaglia comes w zhongli just to visit zhongli’s s/o

hu tao also comes to visit zhongli and co but he’s so wary of her because is she about to pull a prank- really she just brings him some tea he likes and wishes his s/o well <3 she probably sings to them too but it’s a little creepy if you listen to the lyrics LOL

this man is not reading his partner stories, they’re getting histories, pov morax. he knows so many little details that are lost in time but are kept safely in his memories

the man works out, tell me otherwise. he may choose his own body and he knows he has cake but the man works out and trains. he’s a god of WAR and he keeps himself in good shape. n e way he works out in the living room or backyard while his s/o is sick and he trains w just a shirt and pants and he’s so pretty aHEm i think my asthma is acting up again hang on

okay but muscles rippling and you can see it through the clothes that aren’t even that tight BUT BRO WHY ARE YOU GRUNTING SO MUCH PLEASE NO ONE ELSE DOES

would probably get his partner toys and such and one of them is a little dragon <3 give it smooches every day

he’s distracted when he answers hu tao or the adepti because he’s thinking ab his partner instead

ningguang

the frown on her face when she finds out PHEW

she takes her partner’s temperature with the back of her hand and she’s all frowny all day. ganyu is lowkey concerned bc what’s the matter with lady ningguang-

her partner stays in ningguang’s home and she’s working from home for a while <3 there are millelith guards and members of the qixing popping into her home office and even beidou once or twice. bei is also worried ab ning’s partner, but she’s doing the hearty slap on the back and the “get well soon!”

ningguang ordering food from wanmin and xiangling personally delivering it <3 xiangling and guoba are both showing up with some hot soup and guoba is there for cuddles pls he’s so cute

ningguang will read to her partner, probably tells them about her day and entertains small talk until they fall asleep

she cooks some of her qiankun mora meat and tries to make her partner soup <3 the millelith and the qixing have never seen their tianquan in a kitchen working before but she would only ever do it for the people she loves

keqing is in the corner quietly shipping while munching golden shrimp balls goodbye

i think ningguang respects ganyu too much to force her to run around for stuff but ganyu probably likes ning’s partner enough to do it anyway

ning and cuddles and temple kisses and she won’t give her partner smooches on the lips :( but she’s soft for them so they get cheek kisses and spooning them to sleep

beidou

she stays at her partner’s place while they’re sick because the crux might make them feel seasick instead

but she goes back and forth to the crux to get her things and take care of business and such. her crew probably loves her partner so they have things for bei to bring back <3

bei doesn’t even leave her partner’s town but she’s got sango pearls, cecilias, qingxin, cor lapis jewelry, dendrobiums (even though those are like. blood flowers. they’re pretty it’s fine) and many many fruits

xiangling comes by with food for bei and co and sticks around to hear beidou telling her partner stories about her time at sea

beidou is. she’s so buff okay. she carries her partner in and out of the room and to the living room or kitchen or brings everything to her partner and you can see how defined her muscles are bye i’m in love with her

we already know bei learned to cook a little bit from xiangling but beidou is absolutely learning to cook more while her partner is sick. xiangling is there giving her cooking lessons while beidou’s partner watches <3 bei with that look of concentration and she’s so quick with the knives too i’m- okay but her spoonfeeding her partner?? *chef’s kiss* ;)

beidou puts too much pepper in a dish and it deffo clears sinuses LMAO but she tried and it actually does taste very good if you can handle your spice 🤷‍♀️ i cannot so find me with a gallon of milk later

n e ways beidou cuddles her partner to sleep and falls asleep as soon as she knows they’re resting <3 many cuddles and many kisses, even if they insist not to because cooties will get u sick bei 🥺

visits bubu’s pharmacy to get her partner’s medicine herself but also has remedies from other places too! zhongli deffo helps her with some other gifts for convalescents so it’s historically, traditionally and socially acceptable

kazuha

is so worried omg

wherever his ass is, he’s going to his partner as soon as he finds out they’re sick. he’s so frowny and worried it’s almost cute but also,,,kazu it’s a cold, it’s FINE

he goes to collect qingxin and sweet flowers and stuff himself and makes his own poultices and soups and such <3

he shows up at his partner’s home with arms and buckets of flowers and herbs as soon as he possibly can. bei understands if he has to go tho, she gives him leave uwu

makes his partner soup and dried fish and gives them many smooches <3 they are not allowed out of bed LOL they just have to stay there and wait for him to dote on them

many many cuddles and smooches. he plays leaves and grass and recites poems for them he’s so cute <3 sigh, this man plays grass and i’m out here simping

also comes bearing gifts from wherever he was last tho. if he was on the crux, he’s probably got gifts from beidou and the crew even if they don’t really know kazu’s partner, they just know he’s happy and that’s what matters. if he’s not on the crux, his boss probably gives him leave and a gift or smth even if it’s just like a tea or a bottle of wine or smth

he’ll cuddle and be a blanket. but he’s also got fabrics that beidou picked up in inazuma and he uses that as a blanket for his partner <3

will tell his s/o stories of his childhood, his time wandering, his time with the crew, his work. anything they want to know or have questions about, he’ll tell them.

forehead kisses, temple kisses, holding his partner’s hand and pressing a kiss to the back of their hand ugh i love him

deffo gets sick because he can’t deny his partner smooches on the lips smh. and then it’s his partner’s turn to play nursemaid

the crew from the crux probably drops by to check on kazoo man and co. they bring some regional delicacies and blankets and their best cold remedies with a slap on the back for kazu and a gentler pat for his partner. like w ningguang’s partner, bei probably gives kazu’s s/o a hearty slap but it’s not enough to hurt them

anyway i’m in love with him

amber

she’s so worried she’s such a sweetie omg

she goes to her partner immediately and fusses over them before they have to gently tell her that they’re fine

she goes to collect sweet flowers and stuff and goes to ohm, albedo and barbara for help making medicines and such

doesn’t want to leave her duties unattended to but jean also knows that amber wants to be with her s/o so she tells amber that she has fewer duties for her <3

jean tells kaeya to go make sure amber is doing okay and doesn’t need help or anything so he drags ohm, diluc, albedo and lisa too LOL

lisa was planning on going anyway, she just used diluc to carry her books w this opportunity <3 albedo is just treating amber’s partner w meds and potions and things and lisa takes a peek at that too

she’s so sad she doesn’t have ohm’s super cold skin so she can’t be a human cooling pack for her partner </3 but she gives them many smooches on cheeks and foreheads and temples

barely resists giving her partner kisses on the lips bc she still wants to go to work but also wants to give her partner what they need and sigh. it’s a struggle for amber

she wears pajamas and cuddles with her s/o <3

cooks her partner some (fully cooked!!) meals, not her specialty steak. but she makes soup and goes to good hunter and gets good hot food there too

keqing

wants to take some time off to help her partner feel better but also doesn’t want to leave work. ningguang probably sends her home at some point because she’s fretting and working and stop feeling so bad keqing, you have sick days

she still goes to work but she’s just taking marginally shorter days sigh, she goes home early instead but brings work home so she can do it while sitting with her partner

wears leisure clothes when at home with her partner but the fact that she has clothes she doesn’t use for work is shocking LMAO the cat ears stay tho ;) catgirl always

ganyu comes by with keqing’s work, some wanmin takeout and a card and gift for her partner <3

xiangling hears that keqing is home with her partner while they’re sick and brings food over to keqing’s. she’s got extra golden shrimp balls for keqing. AND AGAIN. GUOBA CUDDLES ❤️❤️❤️

keqing feels so bad for not doing as much work, she’s making herself almost as sick as her partner </3

ningguang comes over one night with beidou while keqing is doing work in bed while her partner is resting and she sees keqing stressed as all hell. she just gives keqing some food and tells her to actually rest. soft!ning and bei being moms god i love them

okay but keqing tucking her partner in with a sweet kiss before retreating to her work in the corner, the lamps turned to the lowest they can possibly be because keqing refuses to leave her beloved but can’t not do work

keqing trying to cook food for her partner that isn’t meant specifically for survival but for taste is so cute. she’s trying to cook golden shrimp balls and soup and stuff and she’s not bad at it! she took a single night of giving her s/o hot tea and some wanmin soup before she learned the whole cookbook so she can be the one to cook for them <3

venti

he brings his partner wine u cannot tell me otherwise

he goes to diluc’s. not the tavern but straight up dawn winery and asks diluc if he can get a bottle of wine for his s/o and please please please he’ll go fight some of those slimes for you, please? with the big 🥺 and staying outside diluc’s window to beg bye

diluc just gives him the wine with a glare but won’t make venti do the commission <3 venti legit says “thank barbatos” and gives diluc an ~ehe~ before he gets ready to glide away. he turns around and asks diluc if he’s sure he can’t do the comm but diluc just glares at him all broody~

diluc comes by to check on venti’s partner too bc where does venti live- venti is just camping out at his partner’s place for now and feeding them and giving them wine and diluc just kinda goes a little pink but glares while he says “get well soon” and leaves a windwheel aster from near the winery

venti makes soup and many vegetable/fruity foods because “they’re good for you! have some wine with that ehe”

jean comes by at some point with barbara to check on venti and co. they’ve got other foods and some hydro healing for venti’s partner <3

ohm comes over to see his friend and brings him some medicines, food and wine. he gets to witness the anemo god get all soft and squooshy for his s/o it’s so sweet

he uses anemo to entertain his partner with some gentle breezes playing through leaves <3 but he also plays his lyre for them and gives them smooches in between and during songs because he’s a god ofc he isn’t gonna get sick, pay the bard with kisses. and where’s his gratuity :( 😗

he doesn’t read to his s/o but he does tell them stories with a musical accompaniment. sometimes his partner will fall asleep so he just smiles so softly and tucks them in and continues playing his lyre at the window while they sleep <3

but also brushing his partner’s hair back and giving them a kiss on the forehead please i love my beloved kinnie

n e ways venti forehead smooches and playing the lyre for his s/o <3 no cough meds ehe, just dandelion wine and whatever ohm gave him (that was, in fact, the cough medicine)

scaramouche

bro this dude looks like he CANNOT be assed but he really cares <3<3

his work schedule doesn’t change but he’s going to his s/o’s home super often with soup and food and medicine and extra blankets

even to his partner, scara looks broody but he always looks like that LOL

tartaglia finds out where scara is going and he brings food and toys and stuff too <3 scara later has to read one of the kids books tartaglia brought and he refuses to voices but it’s very sweet anyway

scara probably asks sandrone if his doctor brother can get him some good cold medicine but would never admit that he asked ohm for help LOL. ohm shows up anyway and finds out <3

can and will cook soup but that’s all you’re getting from him. the takeout he brought is most definitely not something he made, no sir’am he would never do something as soft as cook for them. soup doesn’t count, it’s oboiling water with some added flavor, shut up tartagalicious he’s not soft

will give his partner kisses only after he thinks they’re asleep. refuses to give them any affection besides a headpat or two and maybe one hug when he shows real concern. his partner isn’t quite yet asleep one time and then feigns sleeping when they hear scara’s whispered “i love you” and he presses a kiss to their forehead 🥺❤️

he takes off his hat inside the house but will go around with a blanket around his shoulders to mock his partner smh. the blanket is on his head like a hood and he fake sniffles with an almost derisive laugh but he gives his partner a real smile at the end <3

9/10 times will never admit that he’s soft unless it’s a Very Serious Moment but he’s a squishy dood for his s/o and his s/o only

will not read or sing to his partner but he’ll sorta cuddle if they ask very nicely and many times. it’s just kind of him sitting next to them and they kind of have to muzzle before he’ll move his arm for his own comfort LMAO

will bring his partner gifts and food, a few flowers but he’ll just claim he’s delivering it from someone else with a look of fake disgust </3 maybe like two of those are actually from other ppl and not him

when his partner is actually feeling really sick, he won’t be a big smol meanie and he actually looks so concerned~ his partner means a lot to him and he doesn’t want them to feel sick or in pain so he’ll cuddle them unprompted and rub their back, run his hand thru their hair, soft forehead and temple kisses and “i’m here, baby” and “i love you” and falling asleep with his partner tucked under his chin <3 he’s actually so sweet bye 😭

thoma

thoma feels so bad when his partner is sick. it isn’t even his fault but he feels so bad because he wants to protect them, even from tiny little germs 😭 i’m sorry u can’t be my immune system thoma it’s FINE

he asks to take off work and ayaka just kinda sighs but smiles and waves a hand to dismiss him bc yes ofc you can, simp

ayato just laughs when he sees this LMAO BYE

thoma’s partner stays at his home, in his bed or a guest room (idk if he has his own place or stays w the kamisatos as their literal live-in maid but anyway)

his partner gets his care, any doctors or caretakers around ritou, the medic from the crux, the kamisato family doctor- this man is using some of his favors for medicine and then cuddling his s/o, ugh i want to date him sm

both kamisatos come by with some food for thoma and co but poor ayato can’t even keep his grin contained, poor thoma is conditioned to be nervous ab what ayato feeds him LOL

he’s cooking for his partner, legit gives them a list of options and an “anything you want, my love?”

cuddles his s/o even tho they might protest but it takes like 0.2 seconds to stop protesting bc that man is comfy

tells his partner stories about what it was like back home in mondstadt and his journey to inazuma and why he’s there as well as his stories about all the different kinds of people he’s met

taroumaru coming w kozue to the kamisato estate to get some hot tea to thoma 🥺 and the cuddles and nuzzles from this great doggo for thoma before he turns to his partner too 😭 straight up jumps in the bed and licks their faces a little before nuzzling in for a hug

n e way thoma gives a lot of hugs and kisses and cuddles and i think he’s hella touchy-feely and misses home and treasures his partner even more because of it

my beautiful red shield ❤️

[tranzfalgar]

okay it’s time for some stardew valley headcanons for the bachelor/ette(s) so let’s GOOOO

Alex:

- he always awakes before his grandparents, and on warmer days he’ll go down to the beach to watch the sunrise.

- friends with elliot! the two of them sit on the side of the dock sometimes and just chat about life.

- knows how to make cookies, as evelyn taught him when he was a bit younger

- wary of the saloon, as he doesn’t really like the smell of alcohol and only goes into it if he’s forced to!

- if you marry him, he can and will pick you up randomly to surprise you while you’re working!

- if married, he will “bench press” your kids once they become toddlers, and it always makes them giggle

- hates the winter and gets cold really easily. on the first day of fall he’s already bundled up wanting it to be summer again.

Elliot:

- willy is like a father to him. the two of them sit on the docks and watch the fish swim by together

- sometimes he’ll braid his hair, and leah will bring flowers from the forest and weave them into his hair.

- has a rlly pretty singing voice, and likes to record piano covers in his spare time

- if you marry him and the two of u have kids, he’ll always braid their hair in the morning and tuck flowers behind their ears.

- he brings home fresh fish he caught and makes himself dinner every night. that’s why he’s an excellent cook.

- has actually caught a legendary fish before!

- his eyes change color, they can go from blue to green to brown in the same day. people call them the “prismatic shard of eyes”

Harvey:

- he’s so clumsy that sometimes he’ll even trip over air. due to this, he has little bruises all over his knees and elbows.

- his favorite animals are birds. sometimes he’ll go outside and just give them some bird seed. he loves watching them fly around.

- not only is he fascinated with planes, but he’s also fascinated with the weather. as a kid he used to watch the weather channel, and he dreamed of becoming a weatherman.

- when he needs to focus really hard, he’ll pull his hair back with a headband

- him and his mother were and still are very close, and he writes letters to her at least once a week

- he cannot cook to save his life, but he’s an incredible baker! will make you little treats if you’re friends or married

- he always wears a wristwatch, but the time is always 6 minutes behind. he likes it because it has a plane engraved into the side against his wrist.

Sam:

- he had adhd, and his stims include flapping his hands, tapping his foot and strumming his guitar

- he has a beautiful singing voice, think like wilbur soot but a bit more high pitched?

- the reason he likes cactus fruit so much is because he just plants them and lets them grow. he loves succulents because they don’t give him an allergic reaction!

- cannot play video games for shit. sebastian and abigail have banned him from multi-player games because he just sucks so bad.

- love language is acts of service, simply because he likes singing for people he cares about and doing little things for them!

- if you marry him, he will bring his guitar into the coop and/or barn and sing to the animals. they have learned to run over a greet him, since they love his singing.

- his hair is actually curly, but you’re unable to tell due to how much he gels and straightens his hair.

- has mastered the art of the puppy dog eyes

Sebastian:

- loves the hell out of halloween, but is scared of literally everything. he nearly cried watching a horror movie with sam and abigail.

- really good with a slingshot! so if he were to go into the mines, he would wreck some monsters shit with his slingshot skills

- he had glow in the dark stars on his ceiling, but removed them. he used to love the stars and space, but came to resent them because it was his sisters thing.

- he like…irl blushes. like an anime character. when he’s embarrassed, upset, flustered, his face will go all pink. everyone picks on him for it.

- has/had a crush on most of the towns singles. he is a bisexual disaster and secretly a romantic so….take from that what you will.

- a natural born ginger, but dyes his hair. he also has freckles on his nose! and he has an eyebrow slit because of a scar!!

- for some stupid reason, he takes really good care of his hands? like he always makes sure they don’t get calloused, and his nails are always painted black, despite using his hands all the time for work.

Shane:

- he cannot cook. he burned pasta noodles because he didn’t know you had to put water in the pan.

- he still has a chicken plushie from when he was a baby, and it still sits on his bed. and if he cuddles with it at night? no one needs to know.

- has a huge birthmark on his side shaped like a heart

- really good at mixology, so i think that when joja gets shut down, shane works at the saloon and makes the drinks while gus cooks. he adds a whole new section on the menu!

- friends with sebastian. they paint each other’s nails from time to time, or sit in the rain together and just talk.

- kinda strong as hell? he lifts boxes in joja for work, as well as carrying around jas, so i’m assuming he could just….pick the farmer and his friends up?

- he has the most contagious laugh, it used to be a rare sound, but now that it’s a pretty common occurrence, shane makes people laugh all the time with his own laugh.

Abigail:

- buff. she is buff as hell. her and alex work out together sometimes, since she expressed a desire for adventure. she has picked up sam and sebastian with no warning and thrown them into the ocean

- can talk to animals due to her being the daughter of the wizard! so sometimes she’ll go to marnies farm and just chat with the cows or something

- if she sees a tree, she WILL climb it. she loves it so much, it’s just so adrenaline inducing for her.

- her and sebastian tried to go into the mines before but sam stopped them because it wouldn’t have been very safe. they were all 14.

- trying to learn to play the ukulele with a little help from sam. it’s frustrating, but she really likes the sound of it, and she’s determined as hell.

- absolutely cracked at any and all video games he plays. mario kart? she will kick your ass. animal crossing? her island has 5 stars. pokémon? she always wins. you can’t stop her, she’s too powerful.

- she has glasses, but prefers contacts, since glasses would get in the way of her adventuring.

Emily:

- not only can she sew, but she also makes her own soaps and candles! any form of creation she adores.

- loves flowers, and has a lot of little potted ones in her room. she raises them, gives them little names and personalities, and then brings them to sandy and tells her all about each flower

- she can roller skate, and it’s her preferred method of transportation. she can do a bunch of fun tricks as well!

- has an eyebrow slit

- making cute little baskets of homemade gifts is her favorite thing to do for her friends. sometimes she’ll just leave them on their doorsteps for no reason other than she wants to!

- can SPRINT in heels. like even 6 inch heels she can just RUN and it scares everyone who sees it.

- she loves the sounds of birds chirping in the morning, and she’s able to identify the name of the bird by its chirping and calls

Haley:

- is able to perfectly crack and drink from coconuts. that’s why she loves them so much.

- has the worst sense of direction. she’s lucky she lives in a small town, or she’d get lost all the time

- the spring is her favorite time of year, simply because she loves to capture life coming back in those spring months. baby animals, blooming flowers, her friends on the beach or just chilling in the sun, all of it

- her most prized possession is the very first picture her and emily took as kids on their parents polaroid. it’s taped to her mirror

- has a little beauty mark under her lip, but it normally isn’t visible due to being covered with makeup!

- she’s able to do her own nails! this is because she is ambidextrous, yet she doesn’t know, because it’s never been brought up

- she fucking LOVES learning about and identifying plants, trees and flowers. she knows so many it’s crazy. she has a great memory.

Leah:

- resident true crime enthusiast and ghost hunter. she drags elliot with her around town to go hunting for ghosts. they also watch documentaries together!

- has a bunch of little scars on her hands from her artwork

- to get inspiration for works, she’ll go on walks at different times of the day, different seasons, different routes, and she’ll turn each walk into a work of art. depending on all the environment and those who she runs into, each piece is vastly different.

- animals love her, and will sometimes just follow her around for no reason. she doesn’t mind at all, she kinda loves it.

- friends with emily. they are currently teaching each other their own forms of art, since they love learning from each other!

- really good at dancing, she’ll dance while she’s working on projects and she’ll hum a song to herself

- her favorite statue was created after she went on a walk, ran into abigail, and the two of them went swimming in the ocean and stayed there as the sun set and the stars came out. she has a little crush on abigail.

Maru:

- her hair is ALWAYS tied up, it’s impossible for her to work if her hair is in her eyes

- when she was a kid she wanted to be an astronaut, because she loves the stars, but she found she prefers the science and math behind it all

- she pierced her own ears, she has little star earrings!

- watches cartoons and geeks out about them with penny when they meet up in town!

- for some odd reason, she is terrified of butterflies. no one who knows her, or even maru herself have ANY idea why, but she will run away if she sees one.

- her favorite memory was the one night her and sebastian stayed up really late as kids and snuck outside to look at the stars (back when sebastian still loved them) and they ended up seeing a meteor shower

- she presses flowers as a hobby, and just keeps them in a little notebook alongside her ideas for projects and gadgets.

Penny:

- while she’s cleaning her and pam’s home, she finds herself singing to herself. she has yet to be caught by anyone

- each day, her hair is done ever-so-slightly different. each morning, she likes to change it up, and sometimes jas or vincent will give her something to put in her hair

- also interested in ghosts, will occasionally join elliot and leah on their adventures

- she is naturally really warm, so she doesn’t have to bundle up as much during the winter. the kids cling to her because she’s like a human space heater

- has a bit of a geeky side, and she loves to watch cartoons a lot. when she can find the time, she always watches them. they being her lots of comfort.

- has a small scar on her side from when she tripped over as a child onto something sharp. she likes it because with two freckles, it makes a little smiley face

- loves the water and the feeling of sea wind in her hair. she secretly wants to learn to drive a boat, so she can feel that wind in her hair whenever she wants.

[dwaeki]

— felix as ur bf (random headcanons)

pairing: felix x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none other than maybe some slip ups and just poorly written fluff, not proofread, lower case intended!!!

a/n: i'm just bored and need to post so i decided to make this at like 3AM 😩🤝🏻 genuinely dont knownwhat i was writing here but i went with the flow so 😞

ok lets completely disregard the fact that felix is my ult and i am absolutely whipped for him.

he doesn't sleep early at night especially if he had a bad day at practice or made a lot of mistakes while trying to memorize the choreography to one of their new songs,

so he usually stays up for a little while playing video games on his PC while you sleep over at the dorms.

you're most likely there sitting on his lap, sleeping peacefully while your boyfriend tries to restrain himself from raging and absolutely destroying his expensive keyboard </3

(p.s he has a keyboard that lights up. most likely rainbow cuz idk HE GIVES OFF THOSE VIBES.)

the first time you sat on his lap while he was playing games he just fell in love with that idea

the feeling of your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you rest your head in the crook of his neck is just :(( y/n ure making him feel so loved :((

he's just rlly comfortable and feels at peace.

also when he feels a bit too overwhelmed or just frustrated he stops the game for a little while and wraps his arms around you tightly while inhaling your scent :((

he feels better right away <33

but you dont know that bcuz ure ✨asleep✨

but if he's feeling particularly tired he just plays on his phone

while you're both in bed, cuddling <33

PLUSHIES !! you guys collect a bunch of plushies <3

he likes plushies a lot so if u like plushies too you guys are just a perfect duo. you two are always on a look out for stuffed animals,

felix keeps a bunch of cents in his pockets just in case u find something.

if one of u spots a claw machine outside while you're going out or during an arcade date you're going to drop whatever you were doing before and literally run, leap, fly towards its direction.

"Y/N A CLAW MACHINE !!!!" "OH MY GOD GOGOOGOGO RUN FELIX GO DONT LET THE KID GET THERE BEFORE WE DO"

you two are competitive as hell when it comes to winning a stuffed animal & believe me felix doesnt go easy on you

especially if youre a sour loser cuz he teases you a lot.

it starts off with u two being competitive but ends with the both of you basically throwing all of your money away just to get a single plushie.

one time u hogged the claw machine for a little too long and you didnt even notice the line of kids waiting for the two of u to finally leave for good.

yeah... ure banned from using the claw machine at one of the arcades ... 😬✋🏻

he also lays his head on your lap... a lot.

he just loves feeling close to you so if he's sleepy and wants cuddles he usually just lays his head on your thighs (no matter the shape or size cuz we love all kinds of thighs here, love <3) , grabs your hand and plays with ur fingers.

you already get the message so you're quick to get up and move to the bedroom to cuddle

but if you don't get the message then he starts pouting and sighing dramatically, waiting for u to take the hint

but if ure still not budging then he just lifts you up and quite literally throws you onto the bed so you two can cuddle

(one time u bounced off the bed and hurt your arm... felix almost cried...)

he grumbles a bunch of incoherent words while getting under the covers

squeezes the living soul out of you the second he's under the covers. like ure literally left soulless.

HE'S LITERALLY A HUMAN HEATER SO BEWARE WHEN U CUDDLE IN THE SUMMER !!!

felix doesnt rlly have a favorite position to cuddle in, he likes any and every.

he loves being the big spoon, he loves being the small spoon

but he also rlly loves cuddling face-to-face <33 or maybe ur head buried in his chest :((

loves placing kithes all over your face or pecking your lips during cuddle sessions.

yeah... he's a sucker for physical contact 😚😚

he's also SO whipped for you you don't even understand.

everyone around him can tell that he absolutely adores you and everything you do

one time jeongin mentioned how utterly in love he was and how "disgusting & painful" it was to watch you two interact 😔

and felix was low-key like HELL YEAH IM WHIPPED AND IM PROUD !!!

doesnt care if anyone points out how much he loves u & doesn't deny it either bcuz YEAH!! HE DOES INDEED LOVE U VERY MUCH!!! WHAT ABOUT IT!?!?!!

he also gives the best presents !

he just always knows what to buy anyone he's very close with and the list ofc includes you :D bcuz youre his lover mwuah <3

buys you the best birthday presents, anniversary presents, holiday presents.

it's because he's observant !!

especially when it comes to you. if you eye an expensive outfit that you can't really afford at the moment or there's a fancy restaurant you want to go to, he will keep it in the back of his mind and will take it into consideration ;))

there doesn't have to be a special occurance for felix to surprise you with a present !!

even if the present he's getting you is pretty expensive its still for u and he wants to make u feel as appreciated and as loved as he can. so wasting money on you is never a problem as long as you're happy :((

the fact that he is observant also comes in handy a lot, because he can tell when you're uncomfortable by the small changes in the way you act like the furrowing of your eyebrows or you shift even closer to him, etc.

if it's a public space or an event where you have to socialize and interact with others and he notices you feeling uncomfortable he will take you to a less crowded place to give u a bunch of kisses and reassure you that everything will be just fine <3

he also knows what you like and dislike very well, so it's easier to avoid any arguments in your relationship.

virtual dates !!

he takes you on a bunch of dates on minecraft, roblox, animal crossing etc.

the dates usually happen while he's away on a tour and you two really miss each other </3

the first time he went on a tour he just really really really missed you and your voice

so he called you on discord and suggested that you play minecraft together. you created a new world and just started everything from the scratch.

so every time felix goes on tour you guys call on discord, get on minecraft and add new things to your world <33

your world includes but is not limited to: a huge pink mansion with a pretty backyard filled with flowers, a dog named "seungmo" and a cat named "lino" (as felix suggested you named them ✋🏻)

he once told you that one day you two are gonna get married (if you're willing to ofc) and live a perfect life just like in your minecraft world :((

even tho it was over the top to assume that you two would live in a gigantic pink mansion, it was still endearing and it made your heart melt <3

he really wants to spend the rest of his life with you because he knows you're the one :(

[kafka-ish]

the drunken words you spoke last night (1) | b.d.

one thing leads to another and before she knows it, y/n's longtime crush becomes a casual fuck.

word count: 2,893

warnings/included: nsfw (explicit smut -- male x female, pretty vanilla), fem!reader, angst(?), also a lot of this is written in italics cuz of flashbacks

a/n: sorry it's been so long since i've written anything!!

-

It was never supposed to end up like this. Just one quick fuck was all it was supposed to be; which lead to another one, then another one, then another one…

y/n watches as Bill scurries around the room, searching for his shirt. She’s noiseless and he doesn’t know she’s awake yet. He does a good job at being quiet, making sure not to disturb what he thinks is a sleeping y/n. The grey baseball tee he wore to her place last night turned out to be underneath her bed—how it got there was a different story. The silence is broken when Bill opens the door and is met with a large creaking sound.

Don’t look back, don’t look back, don’t look—

He regrets it immediately when he sees y/n, her back against her bedframe. She’s wide-eyed from watching him with such intent.

“Hu-hey.” Bill swallows the saliva gathering in the back of his throat. “I, uh, I didn’t nuh-know—”

“It’s fine.” y/n says her words with such ease and for a moment Bill’s jealous. He wants to know a life without speech therapy, a life without the nickname Stuttering Bill. And most of all, he wants to know a life without loving someone who won’t love you back.

“So, you’re not staying?” y/n does her best to conceal the insecurity in her voice but it’s hard. She doesn’t want to come off as needy or clingy, but she wants a response she already knows the answer to.

“I duh-didn’t want t-to wake you.” Bill shrugs as he says this. Half of it was true—he really didn’t want to wake y/n but seeing as she was already up his excuse fell flat.

“Right.” It takes everything for y/n to not roll her eyes as she replies through gritted teeth.

“So…” Bill’s left foot is digging into the carpet and his fingers find themselves intertwined together.

“So.” y/n herself is picking at loose strings from her worn-out comforter. Her eyes avert from their previous lock on his figure and she doesn’t know what to do with the lump in the back of her throat. She’s annoyed—no—furious.

It was never supposed to end up like this.

“Hey,” Bill answered the door in low-rise sweats and shirtless. “What’s u—”

He’s cut off and taken aback with a messy kiss. It’s bold, breathtaking, and smelled like vodka—nothing he’d ever expect from y/n. Once the shock had passed, he felt his eyes flutter shut and he became lax under her touch.

“I need you,” y/n mumbled helplessly in between kisses. Her fingers which had previously been confidently intertwined around his neck were now reaching for the ends of her shirt.

“W-Wait—what?” Bill’s still hazy from the blunt he smoked earlier and everything’s going so fast.

“You heard me.” Uh, not really. She pressed another kiss to his already swollen lips and the feeling of his skin on hers feels a hundred times better than what she imagined it to be. “Fuck.” Her hips press up to his, but Bill can’t revel in the delicious spark their jeans create every time her hips meet his.

The Denbrough’s front door is still open.

“y/n,” Bill spoke. He tried to say it firmly, but it came out as more of a breath than an assertion.

“Hmm?” The noises coming from her are downright pornographic, which only made Bill wonder what the rest of the night will be like.

“I have to shut the door,” he whispered. His breath tickled her neck and y/n felt her face grow hotter—if that was even possible. Reluctantly, y/n relieved Bill of her possessive grip so he could shut the door. But, immediately, he noticed he’s cold—freezing, even. But how can Bill be cold in the middle of July—Maine’s hottest month?

y/n’s quick to reassume her previous position—arms swung around his tanned neck, hips bucked up desperately to meet his.

“Wuh-we should take this somewhere more comfortable. Sh-shouldn’t we?” Bill only stuttered when he’s nervous now. It’s cute.

She pressed a quick kiss onto his jawline. If there weren’t remnants of her lipstick on his skin, he’d assume he was dreaming. “Okay,” she hummed into the spot her lips had just previously grazed over. Bill shivers.

He led the two of them up the stairs and into his room. The trip is slow. Bill’s careful to make sure y/n didn’t trip or snag her top on the railing. What a gentleman.

“Bill,” she whined.

That night, Bill decided his favorite sound was her voice calling his name. He’s always loved the sound of y/n’s voice and the way his name rolled off her tongue (“Bill, watch!” “Bill are you coming?”). But this was different. Tonight was different.

“Bill, I need you.” He turned to y/n who wore a pout as she followed Bill closely into his room. It’s pitch black but Bill doesn’t need to turn on a light to know his way around.

The back of y/n’s calves hit his bed with a light thump followed by another whimper.

“Shh,” Bill cooed into her hair…

y/n awoke that morning with her too-tight tank top and faded denim shorts replaced with one of Bill’s graphic tees that drape over her figure like a dress. She finds half of her eyeliner and lipstick-stained on Bill’s grey pillowcase and there’s an empty space next to her where Bill once lay.

“Fuck,” y/n whispered to herself. She can’t remember the events that happened last night, and the pounding in her head doesn’t make it any better. But the way the sheets around her creased and wrinkled, and the way her collarbone peaked out of Bill’s Led Zeppelin tee made her skin crawl and her stomach turn.

“Hey.”

Bill’s scratchy morning voice startled y/n. His perfect tall and slender figure slanted against the doorframe and y/n had to compose herself under his sheets the way she’s done all her life.

“Hi,” she swallowed thickly. Her breathing started to pick up along with her pulse and when did it get so hot in here?

“Do you want breakfast?” Bill made a motion towards the kitchen downstairs. “My parents aren’t home still. I guh-guess they’re still out.” Bill’s parents were always “out”.

y/n only nodded.

“Look, about last night—”

“Whatever happened last night, I can—”

“Did you mean it?” Bill cut her off, not even listening to the word vomit spilling from y/n’s splotchy lips.

“Mean what?” y/n’s ungroomed eyebrows furrowed together inquisitively because what the fuck? What on earth happened last night that could have left Bill Denbrough wondering for answers in the morning?

“Wuh-when you said that stuff about needing me.” From the flushed cheeks and timid words, y/n could tell Bill felt awkward saying to her what he’d just said.

Mortification took the form of y/n y/l/n that morning. The tiny hairs on her neck started to rise and goosebumps shot a trail down her forearms.

Bill crept forward after he didn’t receive a response. His face was only a few inches away from y/n’s. The swoosh of his I-just-woke-up hair framed his hairline like an auburn halo. To make matters worse, the morning sun shone directly on his skin, giving him a god-like glow.

“Did you?” His minty breath hit her face. Colgate.

Instead of watching his swimmingly blue eyes—swimming for answers, an indication, anything—she watched his lips. She admired how rosy they were even in the morning. She admired the curl of his cupid’s bow. She admired how soft they looked and felt as she bit the bullet and shoved herself forward to kiss him.

This kiss is different from last night. It’s daring, yet nervous; sweet, but awkward. It’s not the same as her desperate kisses from when she was wasted. This kiss is slow, thoughtful—

Bill pulled away. His breaths grew heavy, and his eyesight got hazy. The only thing he could think to do was go in for another kiss. So, he did. He’s quick to capture her bottom lip with his and cup her jawline in the palm of his hand.

Bill’s impatient now. His parents were gone, and he had a beautiful girl in his bed. What else was a teenage boy to do? In a flash of flesh, Bill’s shirt was gone.

“Do-do you want this?” He asked before he made the effort to remove any other articles of clothing and possibly embarrass himself further. Of course, Bill would be perfectly fine with getting off in the other room with just his bruised ego and bare chest to keep him company.

But y/n was fast to reply “yes” and press yet another kiss on Bill’s swollen lips. Their flesh pinned against each other’s elicited a feeling inside the two that both y/n and Bill had never felt before.

“You smell good,” Bill murmured against her shoulder. The words slipped out of his mouth like a hockey puck on ice. “I bet you taste even better.”

y/n grew flustered at the sudden statement. It wasn’t like Bill to confess something like that—at least not to her. Before another moan, like the ones from last night, could claw its way out of her throat, y/n caught Bill sliding the elastic of his grey sweats down his long legs.

He’s in his boxers. y/n could only catch glimpses of streaks of greens and yellows but didn’t get a chance to look at them for long as her attention was redirected to taking off her—Bill’s—shirt.

Although he knew it wasn’t gentlemanly, Bill could only stare at y/n’s bra-clad chest. It’s just black, simple, classic. But it hugged y/n’s figure effortlessly and contorted her shape perfectly.

“Bill?” y/n wondered aloud. His silence worried her, but she has nothing to worry about—she’s got Bill hooked like a fish.

Her meek words snapped Bill out of his trance, which allowed him to press another kiss onto her lips before he trailed down to her neck. Each graze of his lips turned her into a moaning mess. Bill wished he could say he was surprised, but he wasn’t, not from when he remembered the events from last night so vividly.

His lips lingered a little longer on a certain spot just above her collarbone that made y/n’s lips part so erotic-like, Bill thought he might cum at the sight.

But he wouldn’t allow himself to release just mere seconds in of making out with his dream girl—even if it pained him.

He released his lips from her skin, leaving a bruise. Bill chuckled to himself. At least, if he can’t have her, he can pretend he does for these few moments until she leaves for home and covers his mark with her trusty concealer.

Their lips clashed again. It was hard and rough—y/n’s more dominant than she let on and before either of them realized, she was on top: legs straddled Bill’s torso, nimble fingers gripped at his skin where a shirt used to be, and her lips viscously stained his red with what was left of her lipstick from last night.

Bill’s the one to moan this time. The sound was throaty and gruff, which sent shocks straight to y/n’s core. She bucked up, causing Bill to moan again and the cycle repeats.

“Fuck, y/n, I need you.” y/n liked this side of Bill: the bolder, dominant side; the speak-your-mind side. But most of all, y/n liked Bill.

She giggled at his words. She loved the way his voice cracked with desperation and the way his fingers began to clutch her skin tighter—like she was his.

The delicate sound of y/n’s voice only made Bill want her more. The tent in his boxers grew impossibly harder—a contradicting feeling of pain and desire at the same time.

“Please.” It wasn’t long until Bill’s groans turned into pleads. The rough palms of his hands coast across her bare skin, causing goosebumps to form and hair to raise. “Please.” The fast movements of y/n’s clothed clit on his plaid-covered dick matched the fast beats of y/n’s pounding heart.

Ba-dumb. Ba-dumb. Ba-dumb.

“Plu-“

“Tell me what you want,” Bill’s voice easily sliced through y/n’s pathetic whines, “using your words,” he instructed clearly.

“I wah—” Another whine. “I want you.”

At that, the rough pad of Bill’s thumb started to massage the sharp edge of y/n’s jaw. “I need you to be more specific, baby.”

Baby? Bill’s never called her that before. Actually, Bill’s never had a girl as beautiful as y/n on top of his lap before but here he was, the tent in his boxers being barely relieved by the girl by his dreams.

“I—” The sensation of the fabric against skin felt too much to bear but she wanted more. “I want your—your cock in me. Please.” She said this through lazy lips and heavy lids.

“F-f-fuck.” Bill groaned at the vulgarity of her words. Never in his life would he expect y/n to utter something as filthy as that. But never in his life would Bill Denbrough ever expect to be offered the chance to fuck her. “Okay, baby, hold on.” His calloused palm slowly slipped its way down from the slope of her jaw to her neck where fingerprints were left and then down to the clasp of her bra.

The damn thing. As hard as his hand grasped and as hard as his fingers twisted, the clip wouldn’t budge.

“Need some help?” y/n giggled, as she noticed Bill’s pained expression. Effortlessly, she unhooked the cursed contraption. It was as effortless as how the piece of fabric once made her look so perfect. But perfection didn’t change once the garment left her skin. Bill then realized that it wasn’t the strawberry-stained lips or the dramatic smokey eye or the tempting clothing that made y/n perfect. y/n was already perfect on her own; everything else was just a prop.

Bill’s once furrowed brows softened when y/n began to take the lead. His bare back pressed further into the mattress in the same motion y/n’s chest leaned into his.

Her crotch just barely brushed his and Bill couldn’t take the ‘almost there’ feeling anymore. “I hate these,” he bit. His hand swooped down to peel off the lacy string of fabric in one harsh motion.

“This is a little unfair, isn’t it?” y/n posed. Her eyebrow raised a little the way it always did when she asked a question. Her hands were cold when they made a trail down his chest and to his boxers. “Now we’re even,” she giggled when she finally released him from his confinements.

In an instant, Bill’s erection had slapped his stomach and y/n found herself near salivating at the sight. Her thumb just barely brushed the tip, letting out a hiss from Bill.

“Baby—”

“Shh…” Before Bill could get another word out through choked moans and deep breaths, y/n led his cock to her heat. Immediately, she let out a whine at the stretch of Bill which he chuckled at. “Bill..”

“Yes?” Bill couldn’t help but smirk at the fact that he was making her feel this way. He was the one whose name she was moaning. He was the one she was fucking.

“Bill…harder…” Her moans were like a record Bill would never get tired of hearing. His right hand moved to brush a stray strand of hair behind her ear before his fingers gripped her scalp while his left hand moved just below her butt, allowing him to thrust deeper.

Moans turned into whines and whines turned into screams as Bill set the pace faster and harder. Each thrust hit deeper each time, hitting a spot no boy had ever found before. “Bill, I’m—” But y/n’s words were cut off when Bill’s lips captured hers in a kiss. His hand still found itself tangled in her morning hair. His other hand still tightly gripped on her ass which would surely leave a bruise. His hips bucked up once more, leaving y/n in a moaning mess, unable to hold herself above him anymore. With shaky arms, y/n allowed herself to collapse on Bill’s chest. Their breaths mixed and their pants synced.

Tenaciously, Bill pressed a kiss upon y/n’s sweat-slicked forehead. The feeling of his lips was gentle and tickled as they dragged down to her cheekbone.

It was never supposed to end up like this, y/n could only think to herself now as she watched Bill walk out of her room and presumably out the front door. Of course, he’d be back the next night. Ever since their first drunken encounter with each other, casual sex had become second nature to y/n and Bill—like learning how to tie your shoes or riding your bike. But it was at this moment when y/n realized how she wanted more.

Hickies and torn shirts would never be enough to satisfy the aching need for something deeper; the feeling that made her stomach drop every time she caught Bill looking at her; the feeling that made her throat dry up every time she tried to speak to him outside of moans and cries; the feeling that made her heart skip a beat at the thought of him; the feeling of want—and only want—for Bill Denbrough.

[rinstars]

𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 — 𝐬.𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 (𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞)

pairing: suna rintarou x reader

genre/trope: angst, unrequited love, forbidden love

warnings: nsfw, profanity, infidelity, mentions of weed/drugs, intoxication

description: you knew you never meant to him as much as he meant to you.. yet deep down, you still hoped his heart also breaks with every single goodbye and the regrets of the past clings to him a lot more than he let you believe.

note: this is a repost of 'the call' where i changed and added a few things to make it fit as a prologue better, so make sure u still read it. i'll do this series at my own pace so please just be patient! i'll open the taglist so just send me an ask if you want to be tagged hehe.

The smell of leather and weed floating in the space surrounding you constricts your breathing, making you gasp for air – even more as he suctions the air out of you through your heated shared kiss, your lungs burning with the need for oxygen. But you ignore it. Running your fingers through his hair and meeting his hunger with kisses equally as rough, you ignore the building pain on your chest.

You rock your hips towards him, feeling his hard crotch rub you through the lace of the panties you bought just a few days ago. Pulling away for a moment only to gasp on his reddening plump lips while he lazily guides your movements on his lap, triggering a flood of pleasure wash over you.

Slender, pale, and long fingers reached over to snatch another blunt, taking a long drag before the very same fingers of the opposite hand takes the back of your neck so he can pull you closer to his lips. He breathes the smoke out of his mouth into yours, connecting your lips once again.

Despite the distinct scent of the drug, you taste a tinge of sweetness on your tongue as his own massages yours. Rocking your hips harder to his forces a moan out of you, making your fingers curl around his lengthy hair. You pull away, muttering a small give me a minute to him. Leaning back on the steering wheel, you watch him while you try to control your ragged breathing.

His hair is long. Long enough that it falls softly all the way to his eyes and cheeks, the ends brushing his really pale skin. With your earlier statement, he just shrugged with the same unchanging look of nonchalance in his eyes—proceeding to take drags out of his blunt. His beautifully shaped eyes now bloodshot and shiny with moisture.

He's almost like a vampire, now that you think about it. So beautiful. Such pale skin but such dark hair. Sharp gaze but soft lips. Intoxicating scent but still so sweet.

The most similar thing between him and vampires, you thought, is the way he sucks all the life out of you. Drying you out and taking all your light.

This man has corrupted you more than you're willing to admit.

You opened your mouth to say something when the blaring ring of his phone makes you jump. His eyes glanced over the source before grabbing it with a sigh and scanning the monitor. You didn't even need to ask who it is. You're very well aware who it is, and why he never hesitated to answer.

When it comes to you, it always takes a lot of rings and missed calls before he picks up, though. You understand. You tell him you do, you always will.

He doesn't pick a call up on the first ring unless it's his girl. Astumu whispered as if he heard you ponder about the caller in your head one night when you were drinking with him in a bar. Loves her a lot. Probably too much.

The alarms rang in your head that night, no matter how much you tried to ignore it. So annoying but at the same time so painful. You didn't know how to turn it off and you wish every single time you could.

"Darling," He whispered with such a loving voice, one you never heard from him when he answers your calls. Your heart ached but you knew better than to confront him about it. Instead you cry in the arms of the twinss—more on Atsumu's, since Osamu takes you through an hour long lecture of why you should have known better.

You know that much, you think.

You shouldn't have let yourself get dragged in this stupid situation, craving a taken man and his touches. Letting him in on your secrets even when he barely lets you get a peak in his.

"I miss you too, my love.. Oh?.. I'll be home soon." He speaks in pauses as he lets her finish speaking first. You close your eyes to prevent the liquid threatening to spill out, taking a deep breath before slowly lifting yourself from his lap to the passenger seat. His eyes widened a millimeter—almost as if he cares what you do, when he noticed you getting off him without having to tell you. You noticed he ended his call with her and you refuse to look back at him. If you do, you are sure of another sleepless night.

Another sleepless night of asking yourself what went wrong and if he ever regretted his decisions— maybe he, too, spend the night wide awake asking himself why he brushed off every single detail of the past like it never existed, why he acts like you're a stranger he met for the very first time when both of you coincidentally takes the seat next to each other on a bar, why he never gave you an explanation of what happened that day.

Cold fingers hook under your chin, slowly turning your head to the left. He leans over the center console, connecting his lips with the soft skin of your neck, making you exhale out at the feeling of him sucking all the reason in you again. He runs his tongue wet on your collarbones, creating a glistening trail.

"I'll see you soon?" He whispered on the crook of your neck, nibbling it a little with his teeth. The bruises he leave on your skin another reminder that everything is real.

You just hum with a nod, cupping his jaw and slowly pulling him away from you with a small smile. One of his bangs fell in the middle of his face—you reached up to brush it away.

So many unspoken words from you. Too many. You wonder if he has anything he's holding back to say too as his eyes linger on you a second longer than usual. Or maybe you're just desperately reading into the lines again, like what Osamu said way too many times.

"Rin, what.. what are we?" Every parting is like this, like a new way of saying goodbye that you both developed. You just needed to be reminded, to wake up from whatever delusions you're starting to have.

"Nothing." He replies as flatly as all the other times before. Not a hint of emotion – no amusement or remorse.

You swallow, letting your hands fall to your sides. On the verge of turning around and reaching the door, his voice echoes once again. "How many times are you gonna ask me this?"

Until you start feeling something.

You thought to yourself. Anger, disgust, love, hatred, adoration, anything. You just want him to feel something. Prove to yourself and everyone else that you're not just a tool to him.

"Sorry. Slipped out of habit." You settle for that response now. No point having a conversation with him about this.

"You don't have to leave right away, I can still drive you home."

Losing all the strength to refuse, you found yourself just agreeing with him. Why the fuck are you even so upset to begin with? You knew what you signed up for. You knew about the girl. You saw him with her in the very same bar a few nights ago. Watched how much attention he gives her, how tightly he holds her.

Of course, you knew about the girl. Your past with her woven in a way no one will be able to deny, and she knows it too, as much as Suna and the twins do. How could you forget? Everything to you was clear as day, from the very first day to the last. Rintarou knows it hurts you more this way, but he never bothers to hide it from you—how he chose her over you.

"I'll break your heart by the end of this, baby." He warns you as you feel his length slip inside you, making you moan out in ecstasy.

"I don't care." You pant, grabbing him by the hips as a way of telling him to go faster.

Looking back, maybe you shouldn't have been so foolish and say that. Now, you're paying the price. Now, your exit has been sealed.

The moment you met him, you forgot everything – your reason, pride, dignity, loyalty, sense, self-love. You hate how intoxicates you like the drugs on his backseat and yet you can't stop. You wonder if he knows how you feel about him—how you still feel about him. If he notices the way your eyes would light up when you see him or the way you would wrap your arms so tightly like you're afraid of letting him go.

The car stopped soon after and you looked out the window to find yourself in front of your house. You collected your things and fastened the clasp on your sandals then opened the door, stepping a foot outside when he once again stops you by the wrist.

"I'll call you soon. I promise."

"I'll be waiting." You wriggle out of his grip without looking back, stepping your remaining foot out to join with the other as you stand up to leave. "Take care, Rintarou."

"You too, baby." The sound of his tires grow fainter by the second as he speeds off to his and his girlfriend's shared apartment and it was so loud, you couldn't tell if there was a strain on his voice when he said that or if you just imagined it again in your head.

You didn't notice the sobs wrecking your body. Not until you feel warm droplets fall to your open palms in front of you. You clutched your phone tightly, holding it to your chest.

You can only hope the next call comes soon, interrupting the continuous flow of the songs on your phone—the very records that remind you of what you never had—or perhaps, if things went a different turn; what you could've had with him.

[nanatsumu]

📞 RENT A BOYFRIEND

08. a guide on how to run away from your problems

everything was going so well.

you were able to snatch a scholarship from one of the best universities in tokyo— which also served as an opportunity to escape from hyogo and the unpleasant memories given to you from one whom shall not be named— and then you struck gold by landing your dream job alongside your best friend, fresh out of university with an english degree. oh, and not to mention, a small, trustworthy group of friends who have stuck with you through tough times and kept you stable time and time again.

so as you stand there, hand on your doorknob with a grip so tight that your knuckles were beginning to turn white, you think that this is god’s way of punishing you for being blessed with so many good things within a short period of time.

the first thing you come to notice is that suna’s physical appearance has changed drastically since the last time you saw him back in high school: his short hair was no longer parted in the middle, but instead it was a few inches longer and swept back. he looked a lot leaner and finally fixed that god awful posture of his that you always reprimanded him for back when you two were dating. but out of everything that changed about him, the one thing that stood out to you the most was that his narrow eyes no longer held onto that dull gleam anymore but was instead replaced by an unfamiliar warmth you couldn’t exactly pinpoint.

suna clears his throat which snaps you back into reality and makes you realize: this isn’t supposed to be a heart wrenching reunion between you two. this was a mistake.

“listen y/n, i—” he starts to speak, but you’re quick to cut him off.

“what the fuck?!” you yell which startles the man in front of you, causing him to flinch at your harsh tone. “i... seriously— what the fuck!”

you rub your eyes until you start seeing spots and then open them back up, only to see suna still standing there, on your doorstep, with a puzzled expression on his face and a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

so doing what you do best, you slam the door in his face and try to steady your racing heart.

after a brief moment, you put your shaking hands against the wooden door in order to give yourself some stability and peer out of the peephole. and to your dismay, there is a sight much worse than the one you saw just a second ago that causes your stomach to churn and suddenly you feel like you’re about to puke up whatever you had for breakfast this morning.

“tetsuro you always fucking pick the worst time to show up.” you curse him out silently.

“y/n? y/n?” you hear knocking on the door and you’ve never felt more annoyed to hear that stupid knocking sequence of his. “i know you’re in there, i literally heard you say ‘what the fuck?!’ at the bottom of the stairs.”

you reluctantly open the door, but just enough so that you can look out the tiny slither you created from the inside of your house.

“i wanna know what the fuck that guy is doing here.” you say and kuroo is shocked to hear the hostility in your voice.

“u-uh... he’s your date?” kuroo stammers, immediately jumping to the conclusion that your hostility was directed towards him.

“y/n, please, just let me talk to you.” you hear suna say, his voice laced with desperation.

“suna you had your chance to talk to me years ago,” you open the door this time and while your head is still spinning at the fact that suna was actually here, in tokyo, you were able to collect your thoughts and stand your ground. “and i told you this already, i don’t ever want to see you ever again.”

“just 5 minutes, y/n, that’s all i’m asking for.”

“no suna!” you snap, not realizing that tears were starting to form in your eyes. “you can’t just waltz back into my life and ask for 5 minutes of my time just to talk to me when you had all the time to do so 5 years ago!”

at this point, all of the other residents in your apartment complex were curious to see what all the ruckus was about and so as they all start to file out of their homes, you feel embarrassed that you’ve created such a commotion.

“y/n?” you hear the voice of the grandma who lives in the apartment across from yours. “is everything alright dear?”

“hi ma’am!” kuroo’s oddly cheery voices throws you off. “everything is fine, these two were just practicing their lines for a scene in a play they’re acting in but they got really into it.”

you wipe your tears and throw the lady an apologetic smile, not forgetting to apologize on your behalf as well.

“let’s go inside, shall we?” kuroo says as he turns back to you and suna.

you open your mouth to protest, but your efforts are in vain as kuroo begins to push you two back inside your apartment. you knew there was no point in trying to thrash around in an attempt to get him to release you, but that didn’t mean you didn’t try.

“t-tetsu! let me go!” you scream.

he throws you on the couch and you can’t help but feel so vulnerable under his heavy gaze.

“y/n, i need you to explain to me what your relationship with suna is,” his eyes darted back and forth between you and suna. “and if you can’t, then suna can explain to me.”

“i’m her ex.” suna breaks the ice and you watch as kuroo’s mouth falls agape.

“y/n, you had an ex and you never even told me?” kuroo looks genuinely offended, and while usually you would tease him for being offended over something so trivial like he usually does, this was not a trivial matter in any way shape or form.

“i need you to leave, like, now,” you stand up and grab suna’s wrist before dragging him back over to your front door. “i can’t handle seeing you, and i don’t think i ever will be able to handle seeing you without wanting to throw up.”

when you open the door, you let go of suna’s wrist and then roughly push him out of your home without a second thought.

you wished you hadn’t looked up at his face one last time out of curiosity because if you didn’t, then you wouldn’t have to see the anguished look on his face— an expression that felt so foreign coming from him.

“suna, don’t look at me like that,” your voice gets quiet and you feel like a heartbroken high school girl all over again. “just... leave, please.”

and when you shut the door in his face, you’re you’re suddenly brought back to the day where he left you heartbroken— and the days where you were left all by yourself to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.

༄ directory

༄ next: a penny for your thoughts

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[cracker-box-palace]

Something sweet and sexy with Ringo pls!! If u do smut that is!🥰🥰🥰🥰

I can’t find the other ask you sent me asking for some tantric sex between reader and Ringo, but I saw it somewhere so I’m going through with it😅😅

Ok I’m not too experienced with heavy smut (or tantric sex) so prepare for immense shittiness but I am very excited to give it a try and I’ll do my best💕💕💕

Becoming One

:::::::::::::::::::

In that bed, with the saturated darkness of nighttime covering everything and slithering into every corner of the small room, there are not two people. There may be two bodies, moving together in perfect sync, there may be two voices, moaning and gasping and occasionally uttering breathless reassurances, but there is one mind. One heart, one soul. Before long, two separate beings melted together into pure sweetness, pure erotica; an indescribable feeling of mindfulness, of complete awareness, of bliss.

You stare comfortably into those bright crystal eyes, seeming to glow electric blue in the darkness, and watch as the black orbs grow smaller. They hold so much wisdom, so much playfulness and attractiveness behind them, and in moments like these you can see everything swim to the surface and threaten to burst free.

Your hips move and glide against his with a calm fierceness, like you had let them take control in the best possible way. With each natural movement, you feel yourself creeping closer and closer to your climax. Although you want desperately to make this beautiful, unmatchable moment last until you take your last breath, you know that what’s coming will be millions of times better. His heaving, rolling chest is pressed so close against yours you can feel his elevated yet tranquil heartbeat, thumping with yours and creating a beautiful rhythm with one another. You tighten your thighs around his waist as you rock smoother and faster against him, and he in turn wraps his arms around your bare chest to pull you in closer. Every inch of your body, of your mind, of your soul, is as close to his as it can get.

You feel the taught, smooth, slightly sweaty skin of his naked chest, and when your own, differently shaped figure touches it you can’t help but raise your hands to each of his cheeks and bring his meditative face to yours. You permit yourself another deep look into those blazing eyes, and they’re filled with anticipation. You close the distance between your lips in a fierce kiss and before long he locks his ankles tightly around yours as he ebbs closer and closer.

Every bit of your trembling, electrified body seems to feel the man in front of you, not just in the erotic physical way that you both crave so much, but in a deeper way that, as sweet and beautiful as it may be, is so much less frequent and casual.

Two lovers are joined together in a bond that would never break as his going out rushed after yours as if trying to catch up.

[manunelle]

{Ikerev} How many kids would they have? {Headcanon}

I’m kind of creating this post to organize my thoughts, because I want to write more about this in another post where I’ll write about how they are with their children and how I imagine their personalities. Please be aware that I imagine a different MC for each suitor, so the kids exist in the same universe lol

🖤 Black Army 🖤 

Ray Blackwell

One boy.

He was adopted by Ray and MC at age of 3. His father was one of Ray’s soldier who unfortunately passed away in duty. Since he had no mother or relatives that could take care of them, MC and Ray took him in. 

He prefers MC over Ray, but admires his dad very much!

Sirius Oswald

oh boy

This man and MC had 5 children! :) 

I kind of enjoy the thought of Sirius retiring because he wants to spend as much time as he can with his family. 

They have three girls and two boys. The order goes like this: Girl ---> Twins (boy and girl) ---> Boy ---> Girl. 

Would name his kids after flowers. 

The kids get along very well! They are really protective of each other and of their parents.

Luka Clemence

One boy as well. 

His kid is really sweet! He’s really friendly and everybody loves him at school. 

Is kind of a younger brother to Jonah’s girls. 

Talking about Jonah, he’s the best uncle ever. Always brings gifts and gives advices about anything that is troubling the boy. 

He’s doesn’t have a favorite parent. He’s close to both!

Fenrir Gospeed

Had two kids, a son and a daughterl. 

The firstborn is the boy, and the girl is six years younger. 

To his and MC’s surprise, the boy is a magic user! They discovered it when MC was bathing her baby when suddenly he started floating and giggling around. Imagine Fenrir and MC screaming and jumping around, trying to reach their son, who is having the time of his life. 

The girl is not a magic user, so she causes less trouble than her brother. She’s friends with Ray’s son.

Seth Hyde

One girl.

She has Seth’s hair and MC’s eyes, and likes to dress cute clothes and to play with her teddy bear. 

She’s reeeeaaaally shy. :< 

She probably prefers Seth over MC, but she doesn’t make it obvious. Of course, she likes her mother very much as well. But Seth’s hugs are something else. :> 

❤️ Red Army ❤️ 

Lancelot Kingsley

The next King of Hearts is a girl! 

She looks mostly like Lancelot, but her hair shape resembles MC’s. 

She’s really carismatic and smart, which means that she can hold a conversation with an adult without difficulties. 

She’s a friendly and curious little girl, always asking about how and why things work the way they do. 

As a magic user, she’s really interested in Harr’s work and gets along well with his daughter. 

Loves her dad! She looks up to him a lot and is not embarassed of asking him for advices and hugs.

Jonah Clemence

Our queen has two daughters. 

They are only 2 years apart, so they get along very well with each other. 

Honestly, they have Jonah completely wrapped around their little fingers. This man would go to the fucking moon if they wanted something from there. 

Despite being spoiled rotten, the girls are really gentle and caring with those around them. thank u so much mc

Because the younger sister is shyer, Jonah teaches his firstborn from a young age that she should always be nice and take care of her younger sister. 

They love baking! Imagine the MC and her two daughter baking cookies on the kitchen to present the man of their lives later. ;A; so cute

Edgar Bright

Edgar has one girl and one boy. 

Due to her fragile health, his daughter, the firstborn, won’t be able to become the next Jack of Hearts. She always smiles and says that it doesn’t bother her, but she gets self concious when hearing adults commenting about it. She also feels bad for passing the burden of being the heir to her younger brother. 

The boy is calm and serious, which is kind of weird bc his face looks way too much with MC’s. He’s really protective of his parents and his sister. Loves animals, just like his dad! He’s smart and strong, but is really aloof. MC and Edgar are always worried about him bc he doesn’t seem to want friends. 

The girl is bffs with Lancelot’s daughter and Kyle’s son.

Zero

One daughter! 

She has MC’s hair and his eyes. She’s really pretty! 

She’s friendly and is always smiling. Since she’s younger than the other kids of the Red Army (Kyle’s second son is actually the youngest, but he is still a baby lol), they kind of treat her as a young sister, always hugging and patting her head. 

She’s really curious around everything. Actually, her personality resembles Lancelot’s daughter’s a lot. 

Loves watching her father training with the soldiers! At the end of every session, she goes running towards him demanding hugs.

Kyle Ash

Two boys. They have an age gap of 12 years.

His firstborn had a really fragile health as a child, to the point of having to take constant shots and Kyle having to perform different treatments on his child. Seeing their child suffer was really difficult for Kyle and MC, and at some point they even thought that he wouldn’t survive childhood. However, aroung age 8, the signs of this disease started decreasing and he got better. 

Kyle is still worried about his son, so he always keeps a close watch on him to see if those symptons will come back someday. 

Because they were always busy taking care of their older son, MC and Kyle decided to not have other children. So it was a big surprise when they discovered MC’s second pregnancy. 

Surprisingly, their second son has no health problems. As a baby, he’s really serious and likes to nap a lot. 

Both boys look a lot like Kyle. The older one looks the most, while the younger has MC’s eyes. 

Mousse Atlas

Has one son. 

The boy is a MC’s appearence copy with Mousse’s personalit copy. 

Just like his dad, loves napping. 

Naps everywhere. 

Everywhere. 

Once, when dusting some shelves, Luka found him sleeping in the Black Army’s library. 

How in the hell did this kid get here? 

He always goes missing. Like, at one moment he’s standing right next do MC and in the next second he disappears. Dude??? 

Actually, he’s a magic user, which explains him disappearing all the time and reaching things that are in a place way higher than him. However, he doesn’t tell it to his parent until he’s sixteen bc he’s afraid of disappointing them (bc he heard from some idiot that magic users are way too dangerous).

💚 Neutral 💚 

Harr Silver

He has one daughter. 

She has his hair and MC’s eyes. 

Since she’s a magic user, she and Harr are always excitingly talking about magic books and researchs. He also teaches her about spells and skills unrelated to magic, such as cooking and fishing. 

She’s really shy, and because kids used to bully her at school and adults ignored the situation, she has a really hard time socializing with people that are not her family.

Loves cats! As a toddler, Loki gave her a cat plushie and she is really attached to it. 

Gets along with Sirius’s oldest daughter and Lancelot’s, but I’ll talk more about this in another post. 

Likes to sleep with her parents. It’s hard to get up in the morning bc she is pratically glued to the one she is hugging.

Loki Genetta

One son. He’s the youngest among the 17 suitors (bc Loki is fucking 19 years old in canon universe, duh). 

The boy is always stealing MC’s attention, always glaring at Loki. Loki glares back because he’s a man-child. 

Actually, they get along very well when the issue is not MC, and the boy trusts Loki a lot, sharing secrets and asking for help when in need of assistance. 

His looks and personality are a carbon copy of Loki’s. 

Always follows Ray’s son and Fenrir’s daughter around. 

Oliver Knight

One daughter, and Oliver loves her so much!

She looks a lot like MC, both in looks and personality. 

Being a bit naive, she’s always getting in trouble. Thank god her friends are always ready to rescue her! Is bffs with Sirius’s second daughter. 

Boys love her. Girls too. As a teenager, she’s always having to turn down confessions. She tries to be gentle, but some people are just too bold for her to deal with. That’s when Sirius’s daughter and son (the twins!) enter and deal with whoever is bothering her. 

She kind of has a crush on Sirius’s oldest son, but is too embarassed to admit. 

Oliver knows, but doesn’t want her to know that he knows. It’s kind of tough to hide, bc when the boy shows up at his house he’s always fumming with jealousy. 

Blanc Lapin

Mister Blanc has one son.

He’s calm and smart. 

Loves tea parties! Dad’s carrot cake is the best.

Loves his mom. Loves his dad. Loves his friends. 

He’s a sunshine. Everybody loves him. 

Dean Tweedle

Has only one daughter. 

Her looks and personality are a perfect mix of her parents’. 

Sleeps only if her dad reads to her. Otherwise, she stays the whole night staring at ceiling with a bored expression. 

Is really smart and responsable. She’s the perfect “senpai” at school. 

Is bffs with Sirius’ oldest daughter. 

She and Dalim’s son look really alike, so people are always mistaking them as siblings. Dalim and Dean always get annoyed at this.

Dalim Tweedle/Dum

Has one son.

Just like Dean’s daughter, his looks are a mix of his parent’s, but his personality is a bit different. Despite being really curious, he’s really quiet and hesitant of asking questions aloud. 

Is a magic user. 

Sees Dean’s daughter as a big sister. Is always attached to her hand when they meet and follows her around like a shadow. 

Probably prefers his mom over Dalim. 

[deathwishdaydream]

Dear Universe, Up Yours!

Chapter 14

We were driving towards the west, back on the road. It had been silent ever since he had turned on the engine, driving away from his house. I assumed the silence was caused by the awkward tension in the atmosphere because of the perfervid confrontation we had earlier. I was glad that everything was out, though. We were both extremely vulnerable at the time. I was vulnerable, and I hated that.

A bright red light shone upon Gerard's face and mine as he had come to a stop in front of a traffic light. I heard the light tapping of his fingers on the steering wheel from what I'm guessing is from, boredom. He does this pretty often, which appeared to be the only sound distinct in the car as silence had invaded the rest.

I watched him from the side as he focused on the dark roads in front of him. I took the time to have looked at his rich, golden virescent eyes, the moonlight emitting a warm white luster in them that had created an unexplainable hue. It always seemed to soothe me, his eyes, or just looking at him generally, for two reasons: that there was just something so captivating about his eyes, his sharp nose shape, his disheveled jet-black hair and second, just looking at him, even just a short glance if my attention had ever been pulled away from him now, reminds me that I was maybe worth something. Simply because he was somebody who had seemed to actually care about me.

"It's getting pretty late," His voice had alarmed me, obliterating the piercing silence from just seconds ago. "If I turn back we can check in the motel we had just passed. It's not in the middle of nowhere, thankfully."

I shrugged, pulling my eyes away from his to the window, vehicles all around parallel and organized, despite the chaos of how fast they went. Their blinding headlights reflected on each other and the traffic light hues had illuminated on them each time they'd pass from the right or left.

"Alright," I agreed shortly after, feeling invading eyes on me once I spoke.

There was a rather long audible silence between what he would reply with next.

"Um," he finally began as I watched the various cars in front of us start to slow and lessen in the distance. "Are you okay?"

My head peaked up to look at him once again. He was able to actually face me, as direct eye contact between us in the car was pretty rare. From this angle, I was able to see the fluorescent red glow paint his cheek and show in the black of his eyes. It was an actual, enchanting sight the way I was allowed to see every single detail on his face. And it was wonderful.

I got out of my trance once I had remembered he just asked me a question. That one repetitive, vague question. The question everyone nearly says yes to, no matter the actual answer. "Yeah, I guess," I replied in a rather careless tone, moving my eyes away to the window. But then I turned my head slightly as I watched him again in curiosity. He seemed a little tense. "You?" I asked after, thought unaware of how delicate I delivered the question.

Then, there was a bright green luminescence upon the car and our faces as he lightly stepped on the gas pedal, turning the steering wheel to make a U-turn. Then, he drove straight and looked ahead to find the motel we had passed a few moments ago.

"Gerard," I stated firmly as I didn't get a response. "You okay?"

He hummed rather quietly, though it was the only sound that rang in my ear. "Yeah," he answered. "Fine."

***

I was laying on the bed in our motel room, looking up at the ceiling at its firm white squiggly texture. We had finally gotten another motel room that included two beds and Gerard was already sleeping on his so the only light source that was turned on was a small yellow lamp on my side of the room.

I couldn't sleep at all. I wasn't tired. Every random moment I'd see the blood again, his blood, and my small knife ramming in his head and being jerked out for the red substance to have splattered on both me and Gerard. It'd always pop up now before I'd try to sleep. I'd close my eyes after being put in a comfortable position on the bed and then I'd see the whole scene again, the blood, the corpse, the frightened teenage boy beside me.

I sat up from my laying position and looked at Gerard's stiff and sleeping body. How could he sleep so easily now?

I got off the bed, and walked quietly among the patterned mahogany carpet floor, making my way towards Gerard. I kneeled down in front of him now, seeing his peaceful eyelids, hearing his slow and steady breathing, mouth slightly open. He looked so tranquil. How could anybody sleep so peacefully after witnessing a murder, sleeping in the same room with the murderer?

Gerard had claimed multiple times that both of us had done it. Loyal bastard, I'm now convinced he really believes it.

His eyebrows were upturned, dark hair strands more bedraggled than before, and his arm was on top of the white sheet that had covered his body. I stood back up though, not wanting to creep myself out by watching him in his sleep.

I was right before though, what I thought back in the family bathroom. He is a dream.

Hell, he's truly beautiful if I have to be honest.

He was entirely beautiful, goddammit. His peaceful small face and visible short eyelashes. His parted pink lips and ruffled hair.

I got up and walked inside of the bathroom. Then I closed the door, locking it. I stared down at the bathtub willingly, then I went over and closed the toilet seat so I could sit on top of it. I observed the bathtub for a moment, but it felt like it's been an hour already. I moved my hand to turn the knob and closed the drain. Then I just watched it being gradually filled with warm water. Each blink my eyes had done, the level seemed higher. I felt a rush in my body, like my heart was going to stop or something.

Then I thought about it again. Ruining him. Ruining that angelic face of his with the dreadful blood of another man's, one I have killed in front of him. I could never take that back and I couldn't stand it. It kept replaying in my head. And I wanted to think about Gerard and how gorgeous he was, but I keep getting brought back to that same moment as the blood splatters on his once pure face. I did that to him.

I turned the knob back to the right, turning it off completely. Then I looked at the pool of water that lay peacefully in the white bathtub. I took off my socks and looked at the water again. Then I placed both my feet inside the tub, feeling the water soaking the bottom of my pants. Then I felt myself sitting down, my bottom and half of my torso submerged in the warm water. And then finally, I laid back down, the back of my head now inside the pool, but it wasn't deep enough where my face would be completely covered. I could still see the ceiling clearly, and I could still breathe. Both of my hands were placed on my stomach as I just stared at the ceiling.

It was kind of depressing. I felt so horrible. I really hated myself and I hated that Gerard was able to tolerate me. He doesn't deserve this, he didn't deserve to be in that moment. And again, it played in my head, the red coating Gerard's face. It was killing me. I wanted to cry. I felt so depressed all of a sudden. I just felt so guilty for getting Gerard involved in this.

Staring up at the plain off-white of the ceiling, I thought about death, all of a sudden. Like, what would happen if I died. Who would care, who wouldn't, where my funeral would be, if I get cremated or not. It raises a bunch of questions and theories, the thought of death.

I wondered if I died right now.

If I filled this bathtub with any more water until the point my full head, my eyes, my nose, my mouth, was completely submerged. But that would be morbid, wouldn't it?

If I was going to die, I knew I wanted to be cremated. Maybe I should put it in some note or let my parents know or something. I didn't want my dead body to be changed out of and be applied makeup for some viewing. I couldn't let them do that to me.

I thought again, if I died right now. It kind of felt scary. Like, if all these thoughts weren't provoking all of my mind, then I can admit that my heart was nearly beating out of my chest.

I didn't want to die, I don't think. Right now, I think I want to. Like, right at this very, aching moment. Every time I think about the blood stick on his innocent face. Maybe if I died, I wouldn't be a problem or anything. Gerard can go home and that's it. The murderer is dead and Gerard could go home. He could go home.

But I can't leave him like this, I can't. I don't want to be the third dead body he sees, the second of suicide. I didn't think I wanted to die. I just needed something to hold onto. Like, a solution. But I knew this wasn't. I stared at the white ceiling a little longer.

My clothes and all of me were drenched as I stepped out of the bathtub, draining it after. Then I wiped myself with the motel's clean, new towel, drying as much as I could. Then I unlocked the bathroom, opening the door for me to get out and turning off the light. I then went back into my bed, looking at Gerard from across the room. I was still a little soaked from the bath, but I just laid there, watching him remain on the bed. What if he were to die? Fuck.

***

The next morning I felt sunlight upon my face and groaned, pulling the blanket over my face.

"What the fuck!" I complained groggily, stuffing my head in my pillow to avoid the bright light.

"Sorry," I heard Gerard's voice from the other side of the room. "Wasn't the best way to wake you up."

"No shit," I groaned but it was muffled by the pillow.

"It's eleven thirty-four a.m.," he added, making me groan and get up.

We finally checked out of the motel and I was still tired due to the lack of sleep last night. We had found a restaurant to eat breakfast and then we were back on the road once more.

We were now on a highway as the bright September sun glistened in the light blue sky. I preferred when it was gray, to be honest. Nothing out of the ordinary or anything, I just found it somehow nostalgic, the gray and lack of direct sunlight.

It's been a few minutes since we had left and I noticed Gerard looking pretty uncomfortable. "Gerard," I began. "You, uh, good?"

"Um," he said awkwardly. "Not really, no,"

"Why? Something happen?" I asked in concern, moving forward to look at Gerard's strained, uneased face.

He gulped, gripping the steering wheel tight as he finally answered. "I really need to use the bathroom."

I snorted then burst out into laughter from my immaturity, my head moving downwards and hand banging on the glove compartment. "What the fuck," I chortled, eyes squinted and watery, then I turned my head to see Gerard looking completely mortified.

"Why didn't you go when we were at the restaurant?" I exclaimed, laughter finally dying down into a few small giggles.

"I- I didn't need to go at the time!" he replied sheepishly. I gotta admit, it was pretty hypocritical for me to ask that question; every time I needed to use the restroom in elementary my teacher would always ask me that when we came back from a bathroom break.

"Look, don't worry, dude, I saw a sign that said there'd be a gas station and stuff in a couple miles. D'you think you can hold it in?"

"Not much longer if I don't get there faster," he answered, shifting his position which made me snort.

"Then drive faster," I suggested. "Not many cars here and it's literally the woods out here so I doubt people would be crossing the street so you're fine."

"Are you sure?" he said in a worrisome tone.

"I mean, I guess. Like, I wouldn't want you to piss your pants and on the frickin' seat," I tried to reassure him that we wouldn't get into an accident in a way, but this situation was too goddamn hilarious.

"I don't only need to piss," he muttered which made me laugh again, but then I felt a force push me back into the seat as he began to drive faster.

"Asshole, you did that on purpose," I laughed lightly and saw a smile grow on his lips.

"Remember, (Y/n), we're in a rush to find a restroom," he responds, now amused by the whole circumstances.

I saw some buildings in the distance as we were getting a bit closer, so lucky Gerard, but then from behind us, I started to see flashing lights of blue and red that came out of nowhere. I looked through the rearview mirror. Goddammit.

Gerard had slowed down and finally pulled over, looking at me in concern as the police car parked behind us. "Just umm... play it cool. Show 'em your license and ID and maybe you'll get a ticket, even better, just a warning, but nobody will know what we- I had done, alright?"

I saw from the mirror that the cop came out of the car, a tall male in the stupid uniform, and went behind our car, just standing there. What the hell is he doing?

I realized he was writing something down on a notepad. Motherfucker might be writing down the plate, I assumed, for fuck's sake.

He probably finished writing and had walked towards Gerard's side of the car. His window had already been opened due to the protocol of being pulled over by the road. The cop with the dark sunglasses and the nametag reading "Bennett" had bent over to the level of the car window and looked at me and Gerard with his hands on his hips.

"What are you two kids going out here for?" he asked gruffly as I noticed the small panic on Gerard's face.

"A road trip," I intervened before Gerard could say anything. "Y'know, something for school."

The cop firmly nodded and looked back at Gerard. "You know why I pulled you over, son?" he asked. Typical, this was so basic, of course Gerard fucking knew.

"Yes," Gerard replied honestly. "And I'm sorry, it's just that I really need to use the restroom and-"

"Okay, okay, let me see your license and ID, please," the cop, "Bennett," interrupted and Gerard pulled out his wallet from his pocket, taking out two thin cards and handing them to him. He looked it over quickly but carefully, but then handed it back to him.

"I'm gonna let you off with a warning, okay?" he says looking to the left and back at the both of us. "There's a gas station up ahead so there's no need for speeding now. But if you're caught doing this again you're sure to get a ticket. Now I know how reckless teenagers can be these days but you don't have to do anything extreme to prove yourself." He literally sped because he needed to take a fucking shit, dumbass. "Now, you kids drive safe and good luck on your, uh... school project." Gerard didn't say anything, not a goodbye or wishes for a good day, which I was pretty thankful for. Cops are asses.

He walked away back to his vehicle and Gerard closed the window, looking at me.

"Well that was shit," I said before he could say anything. But then we just began laughing instead, despite whatever had just happened. I knew it would be one of the worries I'd have in the future to think about, considering how he most likely has written down our license plate, but the way everything had gone distracted me in a humorous mood. "Now go, idiot, thought you needed to use the restroom."

Gerard chuckled in response, shifting the gear back to drive as we finally reached a small town with stores, car dealerships, a few restaurants, and the gas station he would have used the bathroom in.

He parked by the gas station's convenience store and took off his seatbelt. I took off mine and he looked at me curiously. "I'm just gonna find some snacks we can have on the road," I replied. Going with him inside was sort of a guarantee I wouldn't leave him again. I wouldn't dream of it at all even. "C'mon man, wouldn't want you to piss your pants right here." I chuckled as we went inside.

[writefightandflightclub]

We’d better run (Santi x GN reader)

Author’s note: There’s not a lot to it. Just a quick little Santi blurb, with a cosy NYE trope - that man needs someone to kiss at midnight. Bonus trope of meddling friends. 😀

Rating: 18+ to be safe. It’s mature but not explicit. (Steam but no smut.)

Warnings: alcohol consumption + tipsy squad. Making-out. Swearing.

GIF: by @ithinkwehitametaphor​

Song inspo: Kiss U Right Now (thanks @wowjeena for sending this in an ask- hope it’s ok to tag you!)

The atmosphere was jubilant, and your squad was equally so. This crummy dive bar felt like heaven, even as the aroma of bad beer spiked in your nostrils, and as you danced with your soles sticking to the claggy floor.

You all drew some stares - amidst the other people on the dance floor dressed in their best party ensembles, you had crashed in wearing a baseball cap and a ratty old band t-shirt, four burly men in tow. A series of juvenile whoops (and even a howl from Benny) had announced your arrival as you crashed through the double doors.

“Run! We’d better run!” you had called earlier.

With only a matter of minutes remaining until midnight, you had inspired the boys to sprint several blocks from Frankie’s place. You had refused - at the last minute- to stay in on NYE, and had insisted you wanted to dance. Really dance, without worrying about smashing the TV in Frankie’s cramped living room as your arms flailed. Santi had backed you up, insisting he wanted to leave too, to find someone to kiss at midnight. So, you had all legged it -pausing only momentarily for Frankie to dry heave over a wall- and you had arrived with breaths still sawing in and out of your lungs, sweat sheening your faces as you all eagerly swarmed the dance floor.

Just like on the battlefield, collectively, you were a force, the whole throng noticeably shrinking back from your energy, and being pushed imperceptibly to the margins of the floor to make room for you, as if your happiness was so big it crowded everything else out besides those in your bubble.

Even in your tipsy state, you clocked the sudden interest in your group as the newest arrivals to the bar, patrons’ eyes roving over your figures in gratitude for some fresh prey this evening. You had no doubt Santi wasn’t the only one in search of a kiss at midnight - there appeared to be plenty of people on the prowl, in fact. You noticed a few women settle their gaze on Santi in particular as he bust his over-the-top moves, replete with plenty of thrusting and hip wiggling. His knees would hurt tomorrow, but that ass doesn’t quit.

What can you say? He knows his assets, and he knows how to work them.

Even so, as they eye him, you cannot find it in you to be jealous, and it doesn’t occur to you to try to covet the attentions of your long-time crush. Instead, laughter freely spills out of you as the boys spin you between each of them, chaotically ricocheting you across the dance floor, and before long you can barely even dance from laughing.

In the midst of it all you have a mushy moment, surveying the faces of your friends -your best friends- all of your eyes creased and hearts smoothed with happiness. You laugh even as Frankie doubles over from exertion, and especially as Benny strips his t-shirt off, circling it above his head to welcome screams from the crowd, acting like some ostentatious small town rock star. Will is sober as all hell but still getting into it, and making sure to video the whole thing on his cell; no doubt so he can make you all cringe as you massage your sore temples in the morning and he looks on - fresh as a daisy.

Your eyes fall to Santi next, gaze locking with his for the briefest of moments, and this is happy too, watching your friend boogie... except, the happiness you feel when your eyes land on him hits different. Hits deeper. Santi always hits different, even if you’re too stubborn and too afraid to admit it.

You pick up where you had left off with him over at Frankie’s, after the pilot had predictably started busting out the Fleetwood Mac tunes. You and Santi try desperately to outdo each other’s moves, each taking it a notch higher and becoming more and more ridiculous, until you barely recognise the movements your body is making. You reckon you are making history, and dancing moves previously undocumented on Earth.

As you move, you are being crushed closer and closer together by the throng which gradually encloses around you once more. In this tighter space, your hands fleetingly find each other’s bodies. Your hands fall on his shoulders to steady yourself when the crowd jostles you. His hand finds yours to twirl you, or your hands settle on his chest or at his waist. You care not that he is clammy with sweat beneath his t-shirt, noting only that he feels warm and sturdy under your touch. Still, you are careful not to linger, and you quickly snap your touch away, as comfortable as it feels to be in contact with him. As right as it feels.

The whole bar seems to buzz around the two of you, causing you to brim over with a warm, fuzzy feeling which you feel from your core to the tips of your fingers. It is the sense of memories being forged, you think - of a night to remember in the making.

You continue to ricochet chaotically around the dance floor with your buddies, as you are torn from one dance to the next, the loud and jubilant rock music pounding through your chest from the speakers, and collectively you seem to gravitate towards it as it pulses you deeper and deeper into the throng.

You are hot, you are sweating -your t-shirt clinging to your torso now- and your legs ache. Your throat stings from belting out the lyrics, but you are desperately and furiously happy.

In moments, more shots are passed around by Frankie, and you clink glasses, half of the amber liquid spilling on to your top as someone dances into you, and the other half burning pleasantly down your centre. Santi’s eyes snag on yours again for another fleeting moment, and you could swear his gaze burns pleasantly down to your centre too.

“30 seconds!” the bar back shouts via the PA system, and a cheer erupts all through the room, a multitude of hands being propelled into the air at once, as if the crowd is one heaving entity, and you all jump and yell and sing until you feel like you can’t anymore, but you do anyway.

“Kiss me!” Santi yells, his eyebrows raised, and his stance wide, his arms raised up until his body creates an “x” shape. “Some fucker had better kiss me when the ball drops,” he announces, loud enough to be heard over the music.

“Pope - your balls should have dropped already, man,” Will laughs, and then you are laughing with him, slapping him on the shoulder and creasing forward in mirth, your face and cheeks and jaw already aching with joy.

“Ten!”

You gasp as the word erupts through the bar, the countdown commencing, and you throw your arms up again, screaming out in excitement.

“Somebody fuckin’ kiss me!” Santi yells, louder this time, more urgently, looking around the room, and you catch a series of micro-expressions unfold, as if in slow motion. You notice the group of women by the bar teeter on the edge of responding to his call- a curl of lips, a tick of an eyebrow, a half-hungry stare and red-lipsticked mouth sucking on a straw. You see Benny, too, about to give Santi more then he bargained for if he doesn’t shut up.

Meanwhile, you simply keep dancing.

“Five!” the voice calls, over the blasting music.

Still, you keep dancing, as if it’s essential. As if the motion itself will propel you into the new year.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Frankie is spinning you and thrusting you directly into Santi’s arms. You fall forwards, thrown off balance, grabbing on to his shoulders to regain your footing, and his hands fly around your waist to steady you, his smile wide and disarming. You dip your head to laugh into his shoulder, still singing along to the song.

“One! Happy new year!”

And, as rousing cheers sound out all around you, suddenly it is Santi crowding everything else out. He grins and grabs your face in his hands, pulling your lips to his for an innocent and celebratory smack on the lips, knocking both the caps from your heads simultaneously. They lie discarded on the floor, soon trampled out of sight; forgotten as Santi plants his kiss. His stubble is alarmingly rough against you, his lips still tainted with the taste of tequila and tang of salt and lime. He’s warm. He’s so warm.He feels so... right.

Suddenly, for the first time in hours, you are no longer laughing. Suddenly, everything no longer seems quite as funny. All of the buzz and the motion and the noise seems to halt around you. There is only Santi. There are only his surprised brown eyes meeting yours, his fingers coming up to his lips as if to understand the sensation he just experienced zip through him, more intense than the burn of tequila, thrumming through him more urgently than the pulse of the music. A happiness deeper than all of the revelry surrounding him.

You note the way your fingers have gradually fisted into his damp t-shirt, as if to pull him closer. You note the way you can’t tear your gaze away from his lips. The way your blood rushes in your ears.

You are torn away from each other quickly, however, snatching you from this intimate, all-encompassing circle and back into the room, Will rushes in to lift Santi by the waist and spin him around, Benny dives in to offer to you an enclosing, shirtless, back-slapping hug which you’re sure rattles your bones. You are even caught up by strangers who embrace you in glee and hope. The atmosphere is electric, and still, it is nothing like the jolt which hit you when Santi’s lips met yours.

Next, your arms find Frankie’s in the crowd and you tug him to you, squeezing him in a heartfelt, urgent hug, grins splitting your faces in two.

The rounds done, and a sudden wave of adrenaline pulling you from your kiss-drunk stupor, you yell a victorious “Happy new year, mother fuckers!”, completely oblivious to Santi’s plight.

That is, until you follow Frankie’s nod and see Santi standing there in the crowd, entirely still as the world blurs around him. He appears entirely fixated on you.

You can’t explain why those familiar eyes of his suddenly give you jitters quite like this, your legs turning to jelly beneath you where previously you were convinced you could have danced until dawn.

So, this time, when Frankie encouragingly pushes you into Santi with soft eyes and a knowing curl of his lips, it hits a little different. You fall into him, clinging on to his shoulders for dear life. His eyes search yours.

“Kiss me,” Santi says earnestly, and this time he is not yelling the words, or urgently seeking some hasty gratification before midnight. He is taking his time with them, these words well-considered and purposeful on his lips. He is not yelling; however, somehow the words seem ten times louder than they did before.

“The ball already dropped, Santi,” you say, voice trembling, just like your legs.

“Damn right. The ball has finally dropped,” Frankie snickers from beside you, referencing the sudden awakening of your feelings, or Santi’s, or both of yours, perhaps. But you both ignore Frankie. There is no-one else in the world right now. Everything else in this crummy dive bar fades to black. So, instead, Santi pulls you closer, your warm bodies chest-to-chest, and his broad, firm hands snaking up and up and up to find your hair.

“Yeah. I know,” he says gently yet smugly, his eyes fixed on your mouth, his pink tongue darting out as if to tempt you. “Kiss me again.”

You gulp, feeling weaker by the moment. “Right here, in front of everybody?”

The corner of Santi’s tempting mouth turns up into a smile, his eyes brewing with a ferocious heat.

“Let them watch,” he purrs sinfully, and a whimper falls from your lips, Santi’s strong hands the only thing keeping you upright -you could swear- as they wrap at your back and clasp you close to him.

At his suggestion, you practically fall on to his lips as if it was pre-destined, and his tongue is plundering your mouth instantly, the taste of him searing all the way down to the pit of you like a shot of fire. He is a potent spirit - the taste of tequila on his tongue as he delves into you, the tang of sweat on his lips like salt, and the bitter rasp of his stubble against your mouth and cheek as you open up to devour him, and willingly have him devour you.

Your sweaty, eager bodies press firmly together, and you fingers travel up; up and up from his shoulders... over the scar at the nape of his neck, over the bobbled chain he wears, over his prickled undercut and into his dark, grizzled curls.

Santi arches his body even more keenly against you, crushing you to him, letting you feel every contour of him. That muscled thigh settled in between yours and his hips thrust towards you, a burgeoning promise pressing up against your core. His shapely chest and the softness of his stomach meeting yours. It feels so good to touch like this, and you desperately hope this touch will not be so fleeting as the last.

As if fearing the same, Santi’s kiss grows, heavy and urgent. Dog tags are crushed up in the space between you too, and the heat of his broad hands press at your back and your neck, the bite of his watch strap cooling on your hot skin as he kisses you like that, right here in front of everybody.

You can’t get enough of him. You want to drink every drop of him down.He’s rough and hot and yet smooth like caramel.

Eagerly, your hands claw into his hair and you instinctively give a gentle tug on his curls. When Santi delivers a gruff, delicious moan into your open mouth in return, he sends a liquid heat all the way down to your core, more potent than the burn of any spirit.

You are drunk on him.

He tastes good.

He feels good.

He tastes good enough, hot enough, satisfying enough that you whimper as he pulls away from you, the both of you panting, foreheads briefly resting against one another as your chests and breaths heave in the tight space between you. And yet, you are still pawing at each other, still unable to satiate yourselves. Needing more.

“Happy new year,” he exhales, with a gentle smirk, and yet words will not come to you yet.

Not until your next thought occurs to you.

“Mmm-hmm. Which of these motherfuckers lives the closest?” you ask urgently, with a sideward nod of your head towards the slack-jawed squad beside you.

Santi’s eyebrow ticks up at you with interest. “Why, you wanna..?”

“Yes,” you state breathily, your voice a husk, pleased he is instantly catching your drift.

“Benny! Keys! Now!” Santi yells urgently, as keen as you are to enact your vision, and his tone is commanding enough that Benny obeys instantly.

Santi palms the keys as they’re thrown and his hand trails down your arm like a lick of flame, coming to clasp your hand firmly in his.

“Wanna get out of here, honey?” he asks, and you smile. You smile until your face aches. You are desperately and furiously happy, and there is nowhere else you would rather go.

In fact, you are very keen to start the new year as you mean to go on. With Santi buried deep in you. His hot, bare, sturdy body entwined with yours - wrapped around you. Kissing you, his tongue surging into you. Loving you, you hope.

“Get out of here, Pope?” you ask with a wink, and he looks at you as if you’re the most stunning sight he’s ever seen, even as your old shirt clings to the contours of you, dampened with sweat. “I think we’d better run, love.”

Then, you each look at the other with a happy, hungry stare, before turning on your heels and legging it out of there, leaving everything else in your wake.

Your happiness crowds everything else out.

Santi crowds everything else out.

Everything else in the crummy dive bar fades to black.

The other boys watch you go, Frankie all-together pleased with his meddling, and happy for his two dear friends. Meanwhile, the repurcussions of Benny’s actions in handing over his keys are just about dawning on him.

“They’re gonna fuck all over my house, aren’t they?”

“Yep,” Frankie responds, slapping him on the back and delivering a throaty, unsympathetic chuckle.

“Maybe you’d better find somewhere else to stay, brother.” Will winks, and Benny shrugs, a confident, undaunted smile inching over his face. In fact, he responds with Santi’s tactic, edging out into the centre of the floor, strutting like the prize fighter he is, and yelling “Somebody kiss me!”

Will and Frankie stand on the sidelines, sharing a gruff chuckle as they watch all of this unfold, until Will nods towards the doorway, where you and Santi exited moments ago. “Do you think they’ll regret that tomorrow?” he worries, his brow furrowing as a less than stable Frankie leans up against his side.

Frankie’s lips curl-up into a smile, and he shakes his head. “Honestly, I only think they’ll regret not doing it sooner.”

You and Santi would probably agree with that sentiment too.

Wholeheartedly, in fact.

Happy new year, motherfuckers.

As for what happened after you left the bar, let’s just say... you definitely started as you mean to go on.

And Santi can go on and on... and then some.