#i wonder if i could find some lessons somewhere that i could listen to or watch online abt realistic digital painting

[dandyshucks]

if i didn't have to eat then i think I'd spend the entire day just working on digital painting tbh,,, it feels like sculpting and i love it sm :]

[rafeandonlyrafe]

out for a run

words: 900

warnings: established relationship, catcalling, physical violence!!!, description of blood, reader kinda crazy as well as rafe lolz

“you ready?” you ask rafe as you finish tying your tennis shoes before making sure your watch is strapped tight to your wrist.

“yup.” rafe says, still leaned up against a wall, not so subtly checking you out as his eyes look up and down your body, dressed in tight fitting leggings and a sports bra.

“earth to rafe.” you wave your hand past his face as you head towards the door, taking a final sip of water before you start your run.

“yeah, yeah.” rafe jogs to catch up to you, again admiring your body, this time from the back.

you go through a quick stretching routine once outside, warming up your muscles. you walk to the end of the driveway, occasionally swinging your knee back to kick your butt and warm up your thighs. 

rafe is right by your side as you start to run, keeping pace with you, even though he could probably go faster. rafe insists it's the perfect pace for him, but you know it's just because he wants to stay by your side.

you fall into a comfortable silence. you used to like listening to music during runs, but you've come to enjoy just the sounds of the outer banks, whether it be the distant waves or dogs barking, even the cars driving past provide you a bit of interest as your feet pound against the pavement.

a car horn suddenly beeps out, causing you to look over, making sure it's not directed at you.

you twist your face in disgust when you see a guy smirking at you out the window. he even has the audacity to roll down his window and shout. “nice tits!”

rafe doesn't hesitate, turning up his pace as he sprints onto the road after the truck, but it tears away, blowing through a stop sign.

“it's okay rafe.” you reach your hands to his shoulders, legs burning slightly from the sudden stop as he rejoins you on the sidewalk. “he's just some asshole, okay?”

“im gonna find out who he is and fucking kill him.” rafe grunts out, eyes staring into the distance like his glare can cause the man pain.

“alright, you gotta run your anger out.” you shove slightly on rafes shoulders. “go faster, it's okay. just circle back to meet me.”

rafe looks at you, then back in the direction of the truck, wondering how far it's gone. hopefully it's parked somewhere close and rafe can confront the asshole.

“call me if anything happens.” rafe says, planning to just run up and look down the streets of a couple blocks before rushing back to you.

“of course.” you give him another gentle shove, and rafe takes off.

you give your legs a little stretch, shins hurting slightly before starting to jog again, heading the direction rafe went. you always switch up your route, but it doesn't matter because you're always together. you figure the best thing to do is just stay going straight.

you get back into your groove quickly, listening to the birds chirping, the wind rustling through the trees, only for it to be interrupted by a quiet thud of skin hitting skin.

you look down the side street, eyes widening when you see the same truck as earlier, the driver now splayed out on the grass, rafe standing over him. 

you turn quickly in his direction, pushing your legs as hard as they can go as rafe kneels down over the guy, fisting one hand in his shirt and pulling his other arm back to punch him again.

“okay, rafe.” you grab his elbow when he raises it up to swing again. “i think he's learned his lesson.” the guys face has turned black and blue, blood dripping from his nose onto the green grass.

rafe stands, turning to place his hands on your shoulders, blocking your view of the creep with his wide chest. “come on baby, you don’t gotta see this.”

rafe turns to spit at him before leading you back in the direction you came when the guy has the gall to speak again. 

“your ass is as nice as your tits.” the words are slurred, rafe clearly did a number on him.

rafe turns, clearly he hasn't beat him well enough if he can't shut up even when he's lying on the ground bleeding, when you stop him with a hand on the bicep.

“i got this.” you say, turning towards the man, looking down at him with disgust, sorry you have to dirty your favorite pair of running shoes with his filth as you swing your leg forward, connecting your toe with his side.

he lets out a loud groan, twisting to cover his side, but it just gives you a better angle as you muster everything you learned from playing soccer in elementary school and kick again, directly in his stomach.

“you need to learn how to treat women with respect.” you spit onto his face as well, landing on the opposite cheek that rafes had.

“you're lucky i don't let my boyfriend at you again.” the guy is sobbing into the ground now, but you're not satisfied, giving him a kick right in his crotch to finish off your point.

“come on, rafe.” you begin to walk away as he looks at you with wide eyes.

“baby-” rafe hurries after you as you start to jog, turning back down the street like nothing happened.

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @rafeyslove @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart @pradabambie @tobesolovelysstuff @alexiskirkland @rafestar @brioffthegrid @juniebugg @magicalyoura @cokepewpsii @mysticallystilinski @luvdella @aerangi @vogueprincess @auryyz @raysmayhem-72 @thestarlithideout @marvelfanfics1recs @rafesgiirl @ditzyzombiesblog @chiaraanatra @tobiaslut @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie @drewsephrry

[chaconnewon]

could u write about jake eating the reader out?

hello anon! thanks for your request and being the first <3 i hope you like it and it fills your expectatives.

skilled ─── s.jy

pairing: friend!jake x fem!reader wc: 1.1k tags: oral(female reciving), friends to ???, slightly hair pulling, mention of reader daydreaming, insinuation of a second round, lmk if i missed something !!

There was one thing you knew for sure: Jake was pretty good at everything. Even if it was his first time trying, he would accomplish the task successfully. He seemed to have the luck by his side, always impressing those who surrounded him. 

You were sceptical at first when he invited you to his place to show how good he can play piano. You’ve never seen him play piano or any other instrument. Even though the countless times you’ve been at his house, you didn’t see any of them. Was he trying to impress you? You above all the girls that were drooling behind him? 

But he was fucking right.

He played the piano in a way your stomach could flip. It didn’t feel like he just quickly learned the basics, he sounded smooth, confident while pressing the keys. Like he has been taking lessons since always.

Of course you couldn’t keep your mind quiet, and soon found yourself wondering if Jake was skilled at bed too. You felt ashamed to think like that about your friend but you couldn’t help it, how tempting those lips looked, or how pretty his slender, veiny fingers were while doing barely anything. You thought quietly, like somehow he could read your mind, if his finger could feel good inside you. 

‘’y/n, are you listening to me?’’

‘’Uhm… yeah!’’

Not at all. You were lost at the sight of his computer screen, a video game lobby showing up. You bet he was ranting about other players but your mind replayed his finger tensing on the keyboard, smashing them slightly whenever he died or his teammates made something useless.

Jake saw you peeking his hands very often. 

When he sighed, leaning back on his chair you sat up on his bed, fingers playing with nervousness on your lap.

‘’I’ve been thinking… Are you that good at everything?’’

‘’Are we having this conversation again, y/n?’’ he chuckles, shaking his head.

‘’No, no! I mean everything.’’ you emphasise that last word, softly raising your eyebrows as if doing that could give a hint of what was crossing your mind.

And honestly, you couldn’t tell if he was being clueless or just messing with you. Jake was a keen person, and both of you knew that.

‘’I told you, I am.’’

‘’Like… at everything?’’

‘’Wanna find out?’’

You suddenly felt breathless. Sharp gaze of his locked on your eyes. Was he messing around? Didn’t look like it as he left his comfy position of his chair to get closer to you. Still in your spot at his bed, you looked up to meet his gaze once again, but something was different. Jake’s eyes darkened a bit as he knelt in front of you.

‘’Jake…?’’ you softly called him, tilting your head.

‘’You know… I’m not just good with my brain, or hands. Let me show you, and I’m sure you won't ask again.’’

Like if you were under some kind of spell you nodded, gaining a smirk from him. His hands flew quickly at your waistband, asking without a word with your permission. You gave it to him, and soon found himself unbuttoning your pants and sliding them through your legs, leaving them forgotten somewhere on the floor.

Jake took you by your thighs and pulled them closer to him, blushing your cheeks hot red. He helped you spread your legs, both of your ankles pinned down the mattress. Your hands held your weight, expectant for his next move.

Jake’s lips pressed softly on your inner thighs, leaving a trail of kisses before reaching your underwear. He repeated the same action on your left leg, his hands never leaving your things. Until now.

One of his fingers hooked the hem of your panties, slid it to the side, and took a look at your wet cunt. How embarrassing. You were wet just for a few kisses there and here. But in reality you knew that wetness came from before, while you daydream about his fingers minutes ago. Your chest felt heavy as you tried to control your breath, hands gripping slightly on his bed sheets. His free hand went directly to recollect some of your arousal and spread it on your folds, rubbing slowly your clit.

You held back a moan, biting your bottom lip. Jake led his coated fingers inside his mouth and hummed at your sweet taste.

‘’God, I bet it tastes better directly from your pussy.’’

Your legs felt like jelly at his words, and you found yourself throwing back your head as soon as his wet and warm tongue started to make wonders between your folds. He hummed, sending vibrations to your core that made you arch your back.

As you gripped tightly his bed sheets, Jake didn’t stop working on your wet core, rubbing with the tip of his tongue your clit, sending jolts through your whole body.

He was pretty good at it, switching between your swollen clit and your entrance, tempting to pull his tongue further. Your free hand grabbed his nape hair, his name leaving your lips as your eyes were shut. 

‘’Fuck, f–feels so good Jake.’’ You could almost feel his grin appearing on his lips. He knew right. ‘’Please don’t s–stop.’’

He didn’t tho.

Jake held you close, pinning one of your legs down for a better access, even if that meant your legs were wide open. But you couldn't care less. The feeling was worth it, almost intoxicating to the point you started to rub your core against his tongue. The moment Jake sucked you sensitive bundle, immediately tugged his hair, earring a groan from him.

Even if he was suffocating, both of his tongue and nose-tip rubbing your clit, he couldn’t stop. Your squirming body, broken moans falling from your lips kept him going, digging his nails into your flesh. 

‘’I’m so close, s–so close…!’’

‘’Cum in my mouth, pretty. Go on, let it go.’’

Took you a few licks to come on his mouth, tensing all your body as he kept doing his work, helping you to reach your highest point though your orgasm. Maybe you pulled his hair a bit harsh but, in fact, he liked it. 

Your tired body lies on his bed, legs still shaking and you breach unable to catch. You felt his hands caressing your thighs, his cheek leaning onto your inner thigh.

‘’Are you okay…?’’

‘’Jesus… It was amazing.’’

You heard Jake chuckled.

‘’Take a moment to rest and then I want you to open your mouth for me. ‘Gonna fuck that pretty mouth of yours.’’

[megangovier]

Off Bounds

pairing: Lee Russell x fem reader

Word counter: 837

No use of y/n

Summary: While grading papers, Lee comes across your work book and finds something concering at the back of it. It was thoughts about him that was deemed inappropriate for a student. In one lesson, Mr Russell pulls you out and questions you.

Cw: Fluff // Awkwardness // age gap (19,30s) // kissing // unholy thoughts // mdni

Mr. Lee Russell was your teacher in a few classes you had, some days he would take over if a teacher was sick as a substitute. He was helpful and could be funny at times, always making the class erupt in laughter. The thing was is that you were a student who had a weird crush on him, you didn't know what is was about him. The accent? The humour? you didn't know, but every time you saw him, your heart would race and heat would crawl up your face. One day in the library, he was on the ladder looking for a book. Removing your eyes from what you were reading, looking at Mr Russell, something throbbed between your legs.

It was wrong and you knew it, to look at a teacher like that but you couldn't help it. He was wearing this white shirt, glasses and tight trousers. He looked gorgeous, his eyes always made you melt. How could someone be so handsome and beautiful at the same time? getting back to the book, you dragged your work out the bag and started to write thoughts down. After finding the book he wanted, his eyes traveled down to you, smiling at how hard you were working Russell headed back to his office.

The bell had rung for lesson, packing everything inside you slip your bag on your shoulder and head to class. As you entered you sat down where you normally sat, Infront of the teacher's desk. As Mr Russell walked in, all eyes were on him. This class was known to be well behaved and listened thoroughly to his words, as he started class your mind was somewhere else. Focusing on his voice, you were also wondering what he can also talk you through, a grin slipped on your face making Mr Russell stop and glare at you.

"what's so funny miss?" Russell said.

Heat crawling up your neck and face, sliding down your chair in embarrassment "Nothing's funny sir, sorry, it won't happen again" frustration in his eyes. Something about angry Russell made you feel things that were unholy. The way his jaw clenched, or the veins in his hands when they grabbed something. Fuck, you wanted one around your throat now and then. You hated yourself for thinking this way about him, you knew this was off bounds.

End of class...

"Right everyone, that's the end of lesson, would you please give me your work books so I could grade them and see how well you did on your essays" putting your book on the pile, you head off before he could say anything to you.

Sitting back down, he started to grade papers after everyone had left to head home. As he was finishing up grading your paper in your book he had flipped to the last two page. As he was looking through something on the very last page it caught his eye. Turning the page over his eyes widened and face reddened, it was paragraphs of dirty things about your own teacher. Embarrassment washed over him, how could one of his students say this about him. He had to ask you a few questions the next day.

Next morning...

As you headed into class, with a smile on your face Mr Russell came up to you and asked if he could chat to you in private to talk about your work. Shrugging your shoulders, nodding your head "Sure". Walking into his office, he closed the door. Itching his neck, looking at you sternly "do you have anything to say to me?". A confused look washed over your face "oh don't you dare pretend to not know what I'm on about" grabbing your book out the pile your hands started to sweat.

Sitting at the corner of the desk, opening the book to the last page with a smug look on his face, showing you the paragraphs. "Do you think this is appropriate miss, talking about your teacher like that in grave detail?" Eyes prickled with tears, speechless you couldn't do anything but stand and take it. "Did you make this up, like those fics on your Tumblr page huh?" Eyes widen.

As you backed away from him, he got up and slowly walked towards you with dilated eyes. Bumping into the wall, his hands still holding your book "Look, I'm very flattered, but it cant happen" looking down at his hands, god you wanted one of them around your throat. "Eyes are up here sweetheart". Looking down at them again, a sigh left his lips. "why do you keep looking at my hands?" Eyes shoot up to the ceiling "well, I think they're nice to look at."

A smirk fell on his face, looking down in shame. Russell grabbed your chin to make you look at him "look, people can't help who they have a crush on, I understand that, but I'm your teacher and older enough to be your dad, this can't happ- soft lips attacks his passionately.

@sexy-monster-fucker @waltonghoulgins @danveration @hellfirecvnt @ghoulphile

[theladybrownstarot]

What is coming next in your life soon ?

Namaste! I'm brown♡ everyone Jai shree hari bol ♡ I'm back with an another reading about what is coming next into your life soon ~ . Make sure follow/like/reblog/Comment for more content like these and if you wish to manifest these soon then comment freely♡ I will bless you . So ,choose pile(s) that attracts you most .

Pick a card reading ~

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Let's begin with it ..

Pile 1 .

Hi pile 1 ♡ hru? Let's begin with your reading:-

🤎 so I can see if you had financial troubles , feeling lonesome , hopeless , helpless, constantly with challenges then its all going to get sorted with some time . You are going to be your best supporter and will get to know what was right and wrong for you .

🤎 I can see travel on the card and that some travel related opportunities is coming to you . I sense that you will be more clear and direct about your things or any planning . Some you might buy a car or bike . You are going to finally find all the solutions to your question and will lead life seriously but in a flow . Someone might be coming to you and will offer you a help but won't be your soulmate.

🤎 oh my pile 1 really you have some through some tough dealss but now yay you won't be holding yourself back . You are attracting , building and manifesting the greatest version of you with all you got .

🤎 But pile 1 your determination , belief , will , hard-work all together your commitment will be tested so before that you need to do some healing . Good family relations and friend relationship can be seen protected .

Pile 2 .

Hi pile 2 ♡ hru? Let's begin with your reading :-

🤎 some of you might have been gone through some past hurtful situations , must have been overthinking a lot or had not a good time with your emotions but now i can see you being emotionally stable , having a good control over your thoughts , changing your perspectives and approach to regular situations and starting to see a ray of hope again .

🤎 You must be bit defensive when someone point you out but considering that there was no mistake of yours . I can see such things changing because you will be making changes inside so externally the environment doesn't stop or block you emotionally and mentally . you will sum up all your experiences and lesson ad will apply it .

🤎 your wishes and goals are finally coming true and making you feel confident about your next goals and plans in life . I can see a drastic change or transformation coming up for you which will be very much needed . You will become good manifestors .

🤎 I guess you should check pile 1 too . your hard-work will pay off through the self healing process . some of you could be capricorn moon too . leaving toxicity and adopting self-love more .

Pile 3.

Hi pile 3 ♡ hru? Let's begin with your reading :-

🤎 some of you might be becoming cool lol sarcastic or maybe that's in your nature to also tease others . Some of you maybe going to a beach or somewhere around watery or to a international trip . You are attracting someone you will going to love , maybe your crush and you will be together and i see someone coming to you but you not paying attention to them . You have left behind all and have come to state to take a break and enjoying your life .

🤎 You are becoming bold , brave and courageous . If you were a person who would run away instantly after seeing any wrong situation then i see you becoming such a person who will face situations and things . you going to take a lead ahead by yourself .

🤎 You will be coming up with any ideas and options to explore . I sense some of you could have the passion for writing maybe . If you want to choose a career ahead in this like in your passion or hobby then go ahead because i can see that when you will listen to your heart you will achieve wonders. some of you could change your life style or will leave behind some things that no longer served you .

🤎 you are being advised to communicate more with others who are like you and try to bring love ,compassion and kindness in things . Most importantly be confident .

The end of the reading .

NOTE: make sure you like/reblog/Comment and most importantly follow if you want more life related and spiritual content. Comment down to claim the energies and any appreciation Will be appreciated a lot . Love you a lot.

[bitethedevil]

Living with The Devil You Know (Raphael x Tav): Chapter 5

Chapter: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen

Read this fic on AO3 (Link)

Fic Summary: Tav broke their agreement by handing the Crown of Karsus to Mystra instead of Raphael. Not only that, but she also robbed his house and killed his incubus. Raphael is patient and he is determined to get his revenge.

…Tav isn't too bothered. She will figure something out eventually. Until then she just has to find a way to live peacefully with a devil.

Chapter Summary: Raphael is in a good mood. He teaches Tav how to play the organ and sings The Song™ to her under very special circumstances. At the same time, Gale is worried and tries to make a rescue plan with Astarion and Shadowheart.

(AN: I know absolutely nothing about music so bear with me if I use the wrong terminology. I can warmly recommend to also listen to the song while reading *that part*. Enjoy a look into Raphael's questionable flirting techniques and some very very spicy organ lessons.)

WARNING: NSFW

Tav had decided not to glamour her face and keep her burn scars visible. She had looked in the mirror in the morning and found that she agreed with Raphael: they did suit her, in an odd way. She felt that she looked more like herself with them, albeit a version of herself that she had not seen for years.

Tav spent the day with Cassius watching her, much to her dismay. He was the only one in the House of Hope who still treated her as a prisoner. He had hated her guts since she cast that sleep spell on him to contact her friends and then convinced him not to say anything.

Cassius did not even try to hide his reaction to her scars. There was a look of slight disgust on his face as he looked at them. Then again, Tav thought. That could also just be his face. Cassius tended to look at her with that annoying sneer as if she was below him, which she had largely begun to ignore.

She started wondering whether there might be more to his clear dislike for her. It did not go past her that Cassius had visited Raphael privately in his boudoir one or two times during the first couple of days of her imprisonment.

Although, she had not noticed any visits between them after her and Raphael had sex that one time. Was it possible that the tiefling was jealous of her in some odd way? Cassius had probably been Raphael’s new favorite pet until she was forcibly dragged to the House of Hope to sleep in his master’s bed each night and take up a considerable amount of his attention.

It was hard for her to garner any sort of sympathy for Cassius though. He treated her like dirt and often tried to provoke her whenever he was tasked to watch her for the day. Whatever was up the warlock’s ass, Tav did not feel responsible for whatever ill feelings he might have towards her. He could take it up with Raphael if he so pleased.

She was waking up from a nap when she heard music playing somewhere in the house. She rolled out of bed and started walking out of the boudoir with Cassius at her heels.

“Where are you going?” Cassius asked.

“Does it matter when you’re tasked with following me anyways?” Tav asked tiredly at his comment.

“You disturb him all the time,” Cassius said, knowing she was on her way to find Raphael. “You don’t think it would be possible that he’d want a moment of peace?”

“If he wanted peace, he shouldn’t have given me free roam of the house,” Tav said. “Or have denied me my own little moment of peace, for that matter…”

“Suit yourself, but one day you will get on his nerves and then he might be inclined to teach you your place,” Cassius said with a sneer.

“It’s really cute that you worry so much about me,” Tav teased him, just to piss him off.

The music got louder as they got to the archive. Tav stuck her head in to greet Raphael with a smile. He was in his human form. Raphael stopped playing the organ and gave her a smile back. He seemed to be in a good mood for some reason.

“It sounds good,” Tav said. “You don’t mind if I sit and read while you’re playing, do you?”

“Please,” Raphael said and gestured to a nearby chair.

Tav widened her smile and threw a glance at Cassius who was awkwardly standing at the entrance, glaring daggers at her. Raphael did not even acknowledge his presence. She sat down with a book, and he started playing again.

“Do you play, mouse?” Raphael asked and looked at her. He was still playing perfectly on the organ despite not even looking at the keys.

The melody he was playing reminded her of a predator slowly sneaking up on its prey. It sounded beautiful but it was also quite dark. Just what she would expect from someone like him.

“I did a little bit once,” she answered and then gestured to his fingers that were elegantly dancing over the keys with ease. “Nothing as complicated as that though.”

“It really is not that complicated,” he said and then stopped playing to hold a hand out to her. “Let me show you.”

The smirk on his face told her that he was up to something, but she took his hand regardless. In one swift movement, he pulled her closer and seated her in his lap. Her eyes widened a bit at the gesture.

“You certainly seem to be in high spirits tonight,” she noted.

“I am,” he said and rested his chin on her shoulder to look at the keys. “I closed a deal that has been quite the headache for me and successfully retrieved something of mine.”

“Do I want to know the specifics?” Tav asked.

She did not particularly want to know which poor bastard Raphael had roped into giving him their soul, but she was worried that he might be talking about her companions.

“It has nothing to do with your dear little friends, if that is what you are asking,” Raphael said as if he had read her mind and grabbed her hands to move them to the keys in front of her. “Now concentrate.”

He showed her what she knew was a simplified version of the melody he had just been playing. She could not play as fast or as elegantly as Raphael did, but she gave it a try.

“Good,” he purred in her ear and snaked an arm around her waist, making it even more difficult for her to play. “Keep practicing.”

Raphael shifted his head away from her shoulder to look at Cassius for a moment.

“You can go home for the day,” Raphael said to him absentmindedly and then turned his attention back to Tav.  

Tav could see Cassius at the corner of her eye. He looked pissed. He gave Raphael a forced smile and a bow before leaving.

“I see that your health has improved after our little accident last night,” Raphael said. “I also could not help but notice that you decided to keep your scars present like I told you to.”

Tav smiled at the word choice of ‘our little accident’ as if she was to blame as well for him almost killing her. She decided to ignore it.

“I did,” Tav said. “But not because you told me to.”

Raphael chuckled. She would not give him the satisfaction of telling him that he was right, and he knew it.

“Stubborn as ever,” he said. “What did you do today?”

“Napped,” she answered, while still trying to get the hang of the melody.

“How productive,” Raphael said sarcastically and corrected the position of her fingers on the organ. “Am I wrong in assuming that you might be growing a tad bored?”

“It’s hard to do anything with someone watching you all the time…” she said. “Besides…I do miss some of my old books,”

“Hm,” he hummed. “Did you have a favorite?”

“I do but it’s embarrassing…and terribly cliché…” she said and stopped playing for a moment.

Tav’s favorite book was an old romantic tragedy that was well-known to be the favorite novel of just about every woman in Faerûn.

“Don’t be shy,” Raphael purred.

“’A Star in the Darkness’ by Bibella Aldath…” she answered and started playing again.

“Yes, that is rather cliché, dear,” Raphael said and chuckled. “Not a horrible read by any means, but I did expect something slightly more exciting from a former librarian…”

Tav was slowly getting the hang of the melody and her fingers moved over the organ’s keys a little easier now that she had played it a couple of times.

“Better,” he purred in her ear. “You know, this is a very special composition of mine…”

“Oh?” Tav said and kept playing.

“It would have been the very last thing you and your dear friends would ever hear had you decided to steal your contract that day when you robbed my house,” Raphael said. She could practically hear the smile on his face.

“Oh, you wrote music just for us?” Tav asked with amusement in her voice. “How thoughtful of you. It’s such a shame we didn’t get to hear it then.”

“Isn’t it just?” Raphael asked. “But there is time for it yet…when your friends finally decide to pay us a visit.”

Good luck with that, Tav thought.

Tav stopped playing for a moment when she felt Raphael’s hands slowly caress her sides.

“Don’t let me distract you,” he said. “Keep playing.”

She did, but it was getting increasingly difficult not to mess up when he was touching her like that. She felt her body heat up at his touches.

He nuzzled his nose into the back of her hair, taking in her smell. His hand gently moved one of the straps of her top, so that it slipped off her shoulder. He left a soft kiss where the strap had been and slowly trailed his kisses up towards her neck. It was hard to hide how her breathing got shallower.

It made her fingers fall over a few of the keys, which made him smile against her neck.

“How clumsy of you, my dear,” he whispered into her ear. “Try again.”

She took a slow breath and kept playing. The hand that had been caressing her side was snaking up her stomach towards one of her breasts. She took another slow deep breath to not lose focus.

He started fondling her breast through the silk of the top she was wearing. He continued slowly kissing his way up her neck as he touched her. She felt her nipples hardening and once again she played the wrong keys.

“Tut-tut…I really would have expected a wizard of your caliber to have much better grasp on their concentration,” Raphael said and bit firmly but not hard on her neck.

“It is also really rare that someone is touching me while I cast spells,” she said with what was supposed to be frustration, but the breathiness of her voice revealed how much she was into it.

He smirked against her neck.

“Keep playing…” he ordered again.

She did. His hand moved from her breasts to between her legs. She was already soaked when his hand slid under the waistband of her pants, and he started teasing her with his fingers. She did manage to keep her focus on playing…for about a minute. He stopped the movements of his fingers the second she stopped playing.

“Keep going, mouse,” he whispered in her ear. “And I might give you what you want.”

She bit her lip and put her full focus into playing that damned melody that would most likely be stuck in her head for days. Tav had gotten the impression of Raphael as a selfish lover the last time they fucked. She quickly learned that the man absolutely knew what he was doing when he put the effort in to please someone.

The way he was touching her quickly turned her into a moaning mess and he somehow knew that she was getting close. He stopped his movements for a moment, making her whine in frustration.

“From the top,” he ordered and placed another kiss on her neck.

Tav did as she was told and played the melody from its beginning.

That is when he started singing.

His hand started moving between her legs again, making her moan. There were a lot of feelings going through her. Her eyes widened in amusement and surprise as he started singing. He sang in a lowered voice, taking her close proximity into consideration. She felt that lovely voice of his rumble through his chest, which only somehow made her even more wet.

“Hell, hell, hell has it’s laws / Hell, hell, effect and the cause / Curtain falls, but hold your applause / Squirm, squirm, for now down here come the claws…”

She was unable to keep her moans quiet as he was driving her towards orgasm. It took all of her brainpower to keep focusing on playing.

“Fools, fools, how hard you have fought / Brave, brave but its all been for naught / True souls, that couldn’t be bought / Doomed, detected and caught…”

The way his voice growled in her ear on the last word, made her shiver and moan louder. She was so close. Close to both her orgasm and the end of the song. She could not fuck it up now.

“No more deals, it’s over / The final act, your doom / No more grace, it’s over…”

Her orgasm started washing over her, making her squirm in his lap. Her moans got louder and Raphael rubbed her clit faster.

“This House of Hope,” He growled into her ear. “Your tomb…”

The loud sounds she made of her finally reaching her orgasm matched almost perfectly with his prolonged note of the last line. It seemed a bit too intentional and made her think: he has done stuff like this before.  

She slumped back against his chest, her legs shaking and her chest heaving from the intensity of it. He removed his fingers and lifted them to her lips to make her clean them off. He pressed them between her lips. She sucked on them, earning her a groan from him. She had been too busy multi-tasking to notice just how hard his cock was under her.

“Beautiful, dear,” he purred and kissed her cheek. “Perhaps, we should perform it just like this when your friends drop by. Give them a show before they meet their end…”

How did he manage to say that in a way that made her aroused rather than angry? Something was deeply, deeply, fucking wrong with her.

Gale, Shadowheart, and Astarion had met in a secluded corner of the Elfsong.

Gale had been lecturing them on devils, cambions, and the Hells for about an hour now. Shadowheart and Astarion exchanged tired glances.

“Gale—”

“I’m just telling you that we can beat him,” Gale said. “It will not be easy, but we can.”

“She asked us not to go,” Shadowheart said. “Tav believes it’s a trap, so let’s not do anything stupid.”

“Also,” Astarion piped in. “It really is a novel concept for me to be the voice of reason here, but your little plan doesn’t seem to make sense. Lae’zel, Karlach, and Wyll are off doing whatever it is they do. Our little band consists of a wizard, two wizards if Tav is able to join the battle, a cleric, and little old me. Three spellcasters and a vampire who, by the way, can’t even be in Avernus since there is no night…”

“He’s right,” Shadowheart said as she looked at Gale.

“So, we will bring someone else as well…Halsin, Jaheira, or Minsc,” Gale said. “We can’t just leave her there!”

“Gale…” Shadowheart sighed.

“There were also that woman, Hope,” Gale continued. “If we could manage to sneak into her prison, we could free her as well. I’m sure she would be eager to help us fight Raphael.”

“Gale,” Shadowheart said again. “Let it go. Let’s wait until we hear more from her. We have no idea what we could possibly be walking into here.”

“She could be rotting in a dungeon, getting tortured right now. Who knows if she’s even still alive? I won’t leave her there! She—” Gale voice cracked, and he cleared his throat in an attempt to hide the emotions that were welling up inside him. “…Excuse me…She forfeited her soul so that we could give the Crown to Mystra. I have a difficult time not feeling responsible for this.”

Shadowheart’s, and even Astarion’s, expression softened slightly as they saw the toll it was taking on Gale.

“That woman has done so much for us,” Gale said. “We have to get her back somehow.”

“Alright,” Shadowheart said with a sigh. “Let’s not do anything hasty before we’ve learned more about what we are dealing with. She told us ‘not to listen to him’ in her message, but we haven’t heard from Raphael at all…He might try to offer us some sort of deal.”

“It really is unlike him,” Astarion said. “That bastard usually isn’t shy when it comes to popping up at the most inconvenient times.”

“He might want us to be desperate,” Gale said and rubbed his face as he tried to think. “Raphael doesn’t know that we know where Tav is…so he might be waiting for us to panic before he strikes.”

“My point is,” Shadowheart said. “If we knew a bit more about whatever it is he wants to offer us or what he wants from us, it might be easier to figure out what we can do. So…should we try to contact her again?”

“A wise suggestion,” Gale said. “If nothing else, it could grant us peace of mind that she is still alive.”

“Good,” Astarion said and clapped his hands together. “I will leave you two to do your spell stuff then. You know where to find me. Can I go now?”

Gale nodded and conjured a piece of parchment and a quill.

Shadowheart watched as Astarion left and then turned her attention to Gale.

“You are aware that this isn’t your fault, right?” she asked him, but she got no response from him as he was writing. “Right, Gale?”

Gale sighed and stopped writing for a moment.

“That does not make me feel less responsible,” he said. “She is very dear to me, and I don’t think I could forgive myself if I let something happened to her.”

“We will get her back somehow,” Shadowheart said. “I’m sure she’s fine. This is Tav we’re talking about. She is great at adapting to weird situations, and she would tell you not to worry so much if she was here, I’m sure of it.”

Gale smiled slightly and nodded. He returned his focus to writing the message for her.

Raphael was being odd. They had sex that evening while he was still in his human form. Again, a weird feeling for her because it felt so normal. It did not help that he was being a lot gentler with her than he had last time. He still teased her and kept her on edge, but there was no pain involved this time.

The kisses were something completely new as well. It was never on the mouth, though he planted kisses everywhere else. It felt so much more intimate than what she would ever have considered him to be capable of and it drove her insane.

He’s a devil, he’s a devil, he’s a devil. Those words became Tav’s mantra inside her head each time those little kisses and his weird gentleness made her heart flutter ever so slightly.

She slept till late noon. When she opened her eyes, Raphael was off to work as usual and she was met with Cassius’s intense gaze. She groaned and rolled over to her other side. She felt that something had been stuck under her pillow. She rubbed her eyes and sat up on the edge of the bed. She lifted the pillow and saw a book.

She read the cover: ’A Star in the Darkness’ by Bibella Aldath. Her all-time favorite book about the tragic and forbidden love between a drow and a moon elf. From the looks of it, it was an early edition too which was exceedingly hard to find considering how old the story was.

She could not help the faint smile that washed over her face and the way her heart fluttered again. She quickly tried to push that feeling away and returned to her mantra: he’s a devil, he’s a devil, he’s a devil…

That is when she heard Gale’s voice transmitted to her mind through a sending spell:

“Hope you are still alive and well. What is it that Raphael wants from us and what should we expect if he contacts us?”

Tav’s brow furrowed at the message, and she was glad that her back was turned to Cassius so he could not see the expression on her face at the message. Raphael hadn’t even talked to them yet?

She needed to get a message back to them somehow. What they were asking were fair questions, but it also sounded an awful lot like her companions might be planning to do something stupid and she needed to stop them.

[shrimpathizer]

this is just a theory (i haven't looked into this bit that much) but I feel like the reason that misinformation is so wildly rampant in online communities about ADHD (probably also autism) is in part because of how inaccessible actual professional information about it is.

Like, I remember before I got my diagnosis (what started off this whole thing a while back), I was looking at the CDC website description of symptoms of ADHD with my mom and. If you thought you were neurodivergent and were looking at this thing trying to see if you should get tested, its basically saying "screw you. you're either a child who is going to be here because of their parents, or an adult who is also here because of another neurotypical."

one of the criteria was literally "is often 'on the go' acting as if 'driven by a motor.'" that means absolutely nothing. you are using undefined expressions to explain something to someone who historically is not good at understanding unexplained social norms (such as expressions).

plus, its incredibly subjective. "on the go" could mean something wildly different for one person then the next. and "often" could mean "all the time every day" or "only at school" or even "every other week." not to mention the memory issues that at least a lot of the people who I know with ADHD struggle with.

someone who might have ADHD has no way of knowing if they "often have trouble organizing tasks and activities" or if that is a normal amount. there is no way for them to easily know if they "often do not seem to listen when spoken to directly."

so it seems obvious to me, that they would turn to other people with ADHD. and the easiest place to find them these days is online. thats how I started wondering if I should get diagnosed. they're probably trying to find some other way to understand or know. and since its social media and social media is rampant with misinformation, of course they are going to be fed misinformation.

people are going to tell them "you see this weird thing that you do? I do that too. and its actually because of this much larger thing. trust me." and people will. because there really isn't much of another place for them to turn. they are going to self-diagnose with every disorder under the sun to make themselves feel at home and feel like they aren't weird or wrong.

maybe i'm way off here but I think that if you want people (teens in particular) to stop turning to social media for comfort and information, you should give them other resources that are accessible. that they don't have to pay to see, that they can understand clearly, that acknowledges all the weird things that they feel bad about.

and sort of as a side note: i remember in elementary school, early on (this might have just been my school/city/state), the school set up one of those mobile classrooms on the yard and would pull kids out for like a good couple months to do eye exams. because we've normalized that kids also have eye problems and thats normal. and maybe, could we also get a small little assessment. just to see if we can find neurodivergent kids early on and get them help so that they don't suffer for years and years.

and i'm not talking as someone who has had it hard. i have had it so easy compared to so many others. i have supportive parents and get good grades, and yet, i am constantly burnt out. i constantly feel horrible. not just because of depression. maybe i'm being too radical here but i feel like i shouldn't need a 504 plan to say that if i'm having a panic attack i can leave the room. that if i'm having trouble focusing i can go to the library or somewhere else. that i can get extensions on due dates. that i can see a copy of the notes or lesson for reference. i don't know maybe i'm just incredibly radical that i think people shouldn't have to be expected to work four times as hard to get anything done and then get blamed when they don't live up to the expectation. whether or not they are neurodivergent.

[munsonsmixtapes]

Teach Me

Steve x bi!fem!reader

summary: you and Steve are forced to share a shift at Family Video the morning after your date

word count: 5k

part one part two part four part five part six part seven part eight

cw: mention of reader’s rough home life, her mother calls her a “bitch”, mention of both homophobia and biphobia, use of the word “dyke”, make out session between reader and Eddie

Part Three: Lesson Two

You woke up the next morning, grateful to find that everything had just been a dream. You knew it had to have been if you had realized you were having feelings for someone. Especially Steve. Oh, how silly you had been. You rolled out of bed and stood in your doorway, listening for any signs that your parents had been awake. Once you were met with silence, you headed into the kitchen to make some breakfast for you and Callie.

You passed by the answering machine and noticed that the light was blinking, signaling that you had a message. Your curiosity got the best of you and you pressed the play button before heading into the kitchen. There was a beep and you gasped when you heard Steve’s voice.

So it wasn’t a dream. That had actually happened. You had embarrassed yourself by denying his kiss and made him feel like an idiot even though you had wanted it as much as he did. You should have just gone for it despite how scared your were.

He had called you? When? You definitely would have heard it, so it must have been before you had gotten home. Maybe you actually hadn’t blown your chance.

“Hey, y/n,” he sighed. “It’s Steve. You just left and I know it’s a bit early after a date to be calling, but I uh-I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for what happened. I shouldn’t have tried to-you know-” There was a long pause before he spoke up again. “I hope you’re okay. I hope you’re not mad at me. And I want to continue our lessons because I had a lot of fun. Bye.”

There was another beep after the message played out and you stood there, trying to gather your thoughts. You were the one who screwed up and he was the one who was apologizing? Of course he was. He didn’t even have anything to apologize for. What had happened had been all your fault and you were going to make it right.

A door on the other side of the trailer opened and your mother shuffled out of your parents’ room looking like the main character in a movie that has just woken up. Her hair looked perfect and she clearly still had some leftover makeup on her face from the night before.

You always thought your mother was beautiful. You and Callie had clearly gotten your features from her and while it should have been a compliment, it always felt like a slap to the face. She might have been attractive on the outside, but she was so fucking ugly on the inside.

Her and your father had been some of the worst people you had known. They were selfish, awful people with the way they never seemed to think of you unless they wanted something. It was usually money but sometimes they would surprise you by asking for a favor. Since they always seemed to work all the time, you wondered where all their extra money seemed to go after they paid rent and utilities. Neither of them did drugs or drank much so it had to be going somewhere else.

You could tell your mother was in a good mood by the way she walked down the hallway. Maybe you could have actually had a civil conversation with her. It always seemed like you argued over the same thing. You’d always get upset because she was never home and when she was, she wasn’t actually there. At least not mentally. It seemed as if she saved up all her thoughts for her arguments with your father.

“Hey, sweetpea,” she gave your cheek a pat before grabbing a mug from the cabinet and pouring herself some coffee. Yeah, she was definitely in a good mood.

“Morning, mom.” You cracked some eggs into a pan and pushed them around with a spatula before putting some waffles into the toaster.

“You’re up early.” Leave it to her to completely forget that you worked. Maybe she would have if she ever came home after her shifts at Enzo’s. She always seemed to disappear for days on end then would show up out of nowhere in a good mood. You assumed that she was cheating on your father. You should have been upset by that, that your family was broken, but you didn’t have it in you to give a single fuck.

“Have a shift at Family Video.” Sundays always got crowded in the afternoon so you had hoped it would get busy.

“Who’s watching your sister?” It was as if she had forgotten every time. She never remembered anything you told her. You were honestly surprised that she remembered that Callie even existed.

“Wayne.” She had met Wayne multiple times and had even had lengthy conversations with him.

“What about what’s his name?” She snapped her fingers a few times, trying to recall the person she was thinking of. You knew exactly who she was referring to.

“Eddie.” He had only been your best friend for twelve years. God forbid you ask her to remember something about her own daughter.

“Eddie,” she repeated with a nod. “Right.”

“He’s working.” It just so happened that Eddie was working on Wayne’s day off so the man had insisted on watching Callie for a change.

“Why do you even have a job? Your father and I work so we can take care of you.” You let out a laugh at that. You couldn’t even recall the last time they had taken care of you. Your earliest memory was being left home alone when you were around five years old. They had set you in front of the television with a TV dinner and told you to “be safe” before heading out the door. What kind of parent leaves their five year old home alone?

“Right, because you both do so well at that.” You knew that the only reason they had you was because of the societal pressure to have children after getting married. Not only that, but your grandparents had constantly claimed that they wanted grandbabies. Neither of them had the desire to be parents and had even told you that they would have aborted you if they could have afforded it.

“Excuse me?” You had clearly hit a nerve but you didn’t care. She needed to know how you really felt since she always had no problem with telling you that she despised you.

“You haven’t taken care of me since I was a baby. I’m honestly surprised you did that.” Her eyebrows furrowed in anger and she stepped closer to you. You had crossed a line but you didn’t care. You were tired of walking on eggshells around her.

“You’ve always been such an ungrateful bitch.” She pointed her freshly manicured finger directly in front of your face. When had she gotten that done and how could she have afforded it?

“And you’ve always been a terrible mother. What else is new?” You stomped away before she could touch you. She chased after you, trying to grab at your t-shirt but you got out the front door before she could.

You pushed through the door of Eddie’s trailer and made a beeline for his room, knowing that neither him nor Wayne cared if you let yourself in. The place was a wreck as per usual, but that didn’t bother you. They were too busy working to keep the place clean and you were in no place to judge because you knew that oftentimes, a person’s living space reflected what was going on in their head.

Eddie was still in bed when you entered his room and you were honestly surprised that he was alone. If he wasn’t hooking up with you, he usually had someone else to invite over.

You went through the clothes on the floor, looking for your other vest for Family Video that you always seemed to leave there. Once you didn’t see it there, you opened his closet, wondering how the hell he found anything in there. There was clothing shoved into every nook and cranny and the thing was so full that you were surprised that everything hadn’t fallen out.

“Morning sunshine,” Eddie greeted. You pulled out every item and threw them onto the bed behind you, careful not to hit Eddie. “I must be pretty lucky if I get to wake up to this view.” His eyes immediately went to your sleep shorts that had ridden up, giving him a perfect view of your ass.

“Hey, Eds.” You didn’t even bother to turn to look at him. You were on a mission and couldn’t get distracted by him or his body.

“Missed you last night, sweetheart. Think I deserve some sugar for that.” You rolled your eyes at him. The man always seemed to wake up horny.

“Thought I was a taken woman.” He laughed at that, amused that you had thrown his words back at him. He liked when you sassed him like that.

“Oh, don’t give me that.” He threw his blanket off himself and stood from the bed. He stretched with a yawn and made a beeline for you. He didn’t like being far from you for too long. But you liked that he was clingy. At least you were getting attention from someone.

“You said it, not me.” You turned around to face him. He stepped forward and took you into his arms. “Face it, you just miss this ass.”

“You’re so right,” he grabbed onto it and gave it a squeeze, causing you to let out a squeal. “I do love your ass.”

“You know, if anything, you owe me some sugar for leaving me last night.” He was quick to capture your lips between his roughly, his hands gripping your hips.

His tongue slipped into your mouth as his hands moved to the strip of skin between the bottom of your shirt and the top of your shorts. They slowly moved up your shirt, trying to lift it over your head, but you pulled it back down.

“I have to go to work,” you mumbled against his lips.

“So do I.” His hands stayed at your back, keeping you in place. The two of you usually liked to get in a quick fuck before work, but you really didn’t have time.

“So, we don’t have time for this.”

“Are you really denying a fuck? Who are you?” He asked, moving his hands to your hips, wanting to feel your soft skin against his.

“We have to go to work and neither of us can afford to get fired.” He knew you were right, but he really needed your pussy. He supposed he could wait until you came over later.

“Damn, I love when you talk logically to me, baby.” You just rolled your eyes and removed yourself from him.

“Shut up and get dressed.”

“Fine,” he stole one last kiss before grabbing a shirt from the floor and giving it a sniff. It apparently didn’t smell since he replaced it with the one he had worn to bed. He then changed into some new underwear and a pair of jeans while you still looked through his closet for your uniform.

You had thirty minutes before you had to be at work and you were panicking that you were going to get fired. In Keith’s eyes, you had already been late too many times. You only had one more strike and you were out.

You found your vest hanging on Eddie’s door and quickly grabbed it. You pressed a kiss to Eddie’s cheek and rushed out the door back to your trailer. Your parents had left for work so you were able to finish getting ready in peace.

Callie was at the kitchen table eating the breakfast you had made for her and you had hoped that your argument with your mother hadn’t woken her up. She needed rest just as much as you did.

She gave you a warm smile as she bit into her waffle and your heart warmed seeing her sweet smile that consisted of multiple missing teeth she had lost throughout the past few months.

She always seemed to be so happy despite her living situation and you wondered how she was able to stay so positive. She was the one who calmed you down when things got too much. She was the one who would bring you a flower she had picked in the field from behind the trailer park with a wide smile on her face. Whatever the reason, you were grateful that she wasn’t cynical like you.

You entered your room and threw on a bra and some underwear. You then rushed to the bathroom quickly brushed your teeth and hair before throwing on your shoes and letting Wayne know that you were leaving and hurrying to your car.

You got to the store with five minutes to spare which was only because of your speeding. You were just grateful that there weren’t any cops around that would have pulled you over. You couldn’t have risked being late and getting a ticket.

Steve was by the door when you got there and he unlocked it before opening it for you. In all of the chaos with your mother, you had completely forgotten about the message he had left on your machine. You hoped he would have heard you out even if you didn’t think you deserved it.

You headed to the break room and clocked in, taking your time to put on your vest. You wanted to put off seeing Steve as much as possible. The whole thing just made you feel embarrassed, replaying in your head over and over on a torturous loop.

You stood by your locker, staring into the thing while you thought about what had happened the night before. Your date. The way you denied Steve’s kiss. The look on his face when he left. The way you came to the realization that you maybe, sort of liked him as more than a friend.

And that was why you had run. You wanted to tell him that. That everything was your fault and that he wasn’t to blame. You had been such a fucking coward and had lost yet another person because of it. A person that you were really growing to care about. A person that had been nice enough to help you when you had asked and now you had ruined everything.

You let out a long sigh then finally opened the door, the thing swinging wide as you walked through it. You were so in your head that you had barely noticed Steve standing there, holding his nose. You hadn’t even seen him and had hit him with the door when you opened it.

“Steve,” you gasped, rushing over to him. You took him into your arms and helped him into the break room so he could sit. You helped him sit in one of the chairs at the table and sat in the one next to him.

You kept your distance, but your eyes didn’t leave his face. Not only had you hurt him emotionally, you had also now done it physically. You were honestly going to be surprised if he had ever forgiven you. You didn’t think you deserved him. You didn’t blame him if he didn’t want to carry on with the lessons, you didn’t need them anymore, after all. That night with Steve just showed you that you weren’t ready to start dating.

Steve had gone through all the stages of grief the night before. Now he was just bitter. He wasn’t so mad about you not wanting to kiss you, he couldn’t blame you for that. He was more upset about the fact that you had run off with no explanation. He thought he at least deserved that. He had even taken a chance to call you out of desperation only for him to receive nothing back.

“Can I see it?” You asked and he reluctantly pulled his hand away from his nose. You leaned closer to him to get a better look and he let you, staying still. You were grateful to see that it was just red and that there was no actual damage to it. You wouldn’t have been able to live with yourself if you had broken his nose too.

“How is it?” You asked and he just turned away from you.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “I’m fine.”

“Steve, I’m so sorry,” you sighed. “For everything.” He responded by standing up from the table and headed back out to the floor, trying his best to get away from you.

He felt like he had every right to be mad at you even though he could tell that you were overwhelmed. He wasn’t even mad at you for not wanting to kiss him. He wasn’t going to blame you for that. He had been upset because you had never given him an explanation. You just left without a word and had completely ghosted you.

He had even called you afterward to apologize and to make sure that you were okay. But you had just ignored him and now he felt like a fucking idiot. Maybe you hadn’t liked him as much as he thought you did. He could have sworn that the two of you had a connection, but he guessed he was the only one who thought so.

You followed him out onto the floor in silence and you headed to the counter as customers entered the building. It was a couple-a guy and a girl-around your age. They were holding onto each other and giggling as they stepped inside and you couldn’t help but want what they had.

“Hey, welcome in! Is there anything in particular you’re looking for?” You pushed the whole thing with Steve out of your head and tried to focus on the task at hand. For the next eight hours, it was going to be as if nothing had happened.

“Actually,” the girl replied. “We’re looking for a romcom.” Of fucking course. That seemed to be one of the more popular genres among customers. Why anyone would have wanted to subject themselves you didn’t know. Watching two people fall in love sounded so boring to you. You preferred either action or horror. Those always seemed to interest you, keeping you on the edge of your seat.

“Was there one in particular that you were looking for?”

“We’re just browsing,” the guy responded.

“Okay, well, the romcoms are on the very back wall.” You pointed in that direction and watched them head that way. “Let me know if you need anything else!”

You leaned onto the counter, resting your chin into the palm of your hand as you spotted Steve helping the couple find a specific title. You couldn’t help but feel like he was much better at the job than you were. He was always so friendly as if he knew the customers personally. He assisted them with a bright smile on his face, like he couldn’t have been happier to help them.

He always went above and beyond to make sure that everyone was happy and if they weren’t, he’d do whatever he could to appease them. It didn’t matter if it was ordering a movie the store didn’t carry or just straight up giving them a full refund if they weren’t satisfied. He was definitely the best employee and you envied him for it.

You turned to the computer and signed into it to put some returns back into the system. Steve clearly had the floor handled so you figured you’d actually be productive instead of letting your thoughts eat away at you. You also didn’t want to risk Keith coming out of his office and seeing you not working.

You booted up the computer and turned to the door when the bell had chimed, signaling that another customer had entered. She stepped over to the counter, resting her arms on top of it.

“Is Steve working today?” It wasn’t the first time you’d heard that question and it definitely wouldn’t have been the last.

“Romcoms,” you responded, pointing in the general direction. You watched her head that way in the corner of your eye and continued to type away.

Steve had finished with the customers and took to fixing up the section he was in to pass the time. It always seemed super slow in the mornings. He stood up from putting some videos away from the bottom shelf and noticed a girl approaching him.

He recognized her, but felt bad that he had completely forgotten her name. She had come in a few times and had flirted with him every time without fail. He wasn’t interested, though. He only had eyes for one woman even though he knew he’d never be with her.

“Hey, Stevie,” she greeted and he closed his eyes tight at the nickname. He hated it. It was so grating, like nails on a chalkboard.

“Hey,” he turned around with a smile. He didn’t like being mean and felt like it was rude to ignore her. She had come all that way to see him and all.

“How’s it going?” Her tone was a little too flirty for his liking. He was going to let her down easy. If he could ever get the guts.

“Oh, you know,” he chuckled. “Just working.”

“Well, what time do you get off?” He had no idea how he was going to break the news that he wasn’t intrested to the poor girl and he was wracking his brain for an excuse. He needed to wash his hair. He had to walk his dog. He needed to visit a family member in the hospital. Literally anything to get her to leave him alone.

“Oh, I don’t-” his words were caught off by an arm snaking around his waist. He turned to his right to see you and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion but still draped his arm over your shoulders.

“Hey honey,” you smiled at him and you could see him gulp, making his Adam’s apple bob. “Miss me?” You asked and you could see the gears turning in his head as he tried to figure out what was going on.

“So much,” he replied, and for a second, you almost believed it. He had been looking at you with so much love that it almost seemed real.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” She eyed the two of you suspiciously and you couldn’t blame her. It was kind of weird. The two of you definitely didn’t look like you belonged together.

“I’m his girlfriend.” You could see her eyes narrow and you were hoping that she would just let it go, but she seemed pretty determined to prove your relationship to be bullshit.

“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.” A smirk appeared on her glossy lips and you knew that you weren’t going to like what she was going to say next.

“Well, now you do.” Your grip on Steve’s tightened and he was confused as to why he liked the feeling.

“You never told me that you were seeing someone.” He hadn’t, but he also was unsure of how to tell her didn’t want to go out with her to begin with.

“It’s new and I honestly didn’t know we were exclusive until yesterday.” Steve was mentally high-fiving himself for that one. He had never come up with something that quick in his life.

“Right,” she nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re y/n.” She turned to you and you didn’t like the tone she was using.

“That’s me,” you nodded. “And you’re Melissa.” Right, that was her name.

“You live in the trailer park, right? Forest Hills?” You knew exactly what she was getting at and had to resist the urge to roll your eyes. People just weren’t original with their insults anymore.

“Why do you care?” You genuinely wanted to know why everyone was so judgmental about where you had lived. As if it had affected them directly that you lived in a trailer park.

“Oh, I don’t. But other people do and what would they say if they found out that King Steve was dating trailer trash?” Steve’s mouth dropped open at her words. No one was going to speak to you that way and get away with it.

“What did you just call her?” His arm dropped from your shoulders and he stepped in front of you as if to act as a human shield to protect you from Melissa’s words.

“Steve-” you rested a hand on his shoulder, wanting to tell him to drop it, but he just shrugged your hand off, stepping closer to the girl.

“I asked you a question.”

“C’mon Steve. We both know you’re out of her league. You could do so much better.” He couldn’t believe that she had insulted you and hyped herself up in the same sentence.

“You’re talking about yourself, right?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Of course I am. Isn’t she a dyke anyway?” Steve’s face was rapidly turning red in anger. He balled his fists, knowing that if a man had said that word, he wouldn’t have hesitated to deck him. He knew that you were bisexual, but he didn’t see a single problem with that like other people in town seemed to. He didn’t think that your sexuality was anyone’s business but your own so he was going to let you decide if you wanted to correct Melissa.

“I’m bisexual, actually,” you corrected.

“Not that that’s any of your business,” Steve added. “Get. Out.” He was gritting his teeth so hard that you were sure sure that it was probably causing pain to his jaw.

“Excuse me?” She scoffed. Clearly she needed to be knocked down a peg or two and Steve was more than happy to do so.

“Did you not hear me? I said get the fuck out!” He pointed to the door and Melissa was quick to hurry in that direction.

You heard the bell on the door chime, signaling that she had exited the building and Steve was quick to turn to you to see how you were holding up. Your face hadn’t changed and he assumed that you were just holding in your pain like you always did.

You stood a few feet apart and you didn’t know why you felt the urge to hug him. It was the least he deserved for standing up for you. If it had been Eddie who had done it, you wouldn’t have hesitated. But it was Steve and you and Steve didn’t hug.

“What a fucking bitch,” he muttered under his breath but you still heard it. You were honestly surprised that he had defended you. You were the one who wanted to help him but he had stepped in to protect you once again. He had done it despite being upset with you and you couldn’t have been more grateful and thought he deserved much more than just an apology. What, you didn’t know.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“Are you kidding? Of course I did.”

“Even after what I did last night? I didn’t deserve your defense.”

“What are you talking about? Just because I’m mad at you doesn’t mean that I’m not going to stand up for you when people are dicks. That’s what friends do, y/n.”

You honestly thought you had blown it so hearing him still refer to you as his friend, made you let out a sigh of relief. A small amount of the pressure on your shoulder released and you gave Steve a small smile

“I owe you an apology for the way I acted,” you looked up at him and there was no trace of anger on his face. He was back to regular old Steve. “I’m sorry. I just-I got scared and I panicked and-”

“Don’t worry about it, okay?” He gave your shoulder a pat. “Consider it water under the bridge.”

“So, do you still want to continue the lessons?” He hadn’t been aware that they had been off the table and felt bad that you actually thought that he would have ended things without discussing it first.

“As long as you do,” he shrugged.

“I do,” you nodded and he smiled in response.

“Great,” he nodded. “It’s a date,” he winked to which you rolled your eyes.

“I'm sorry.”

“You’re forgiven,” he rested his hands on your shoulders, giving them a reassuring squeeze. “Let’s just start all over, alright? Clean slate.”

“Okay,” you agreed, grateful that you had settled your argument.

“Good. Now let’s get back to work before Keith gets here. I’ll take the floor and you sit pretty at the counter alright?” Your cheeks turned pink at the word “pretty” and you resisted the urge to turn away from him so he couldn’t see it.

“Anything you say, Stevie,” you brushed past him to get back to the counter. You then turned back to him and pressed a quick peck to his cheek. “Thanks for defending me.”

“Oh,” he chuckled. “It was nothing.” As soon as your back was turned to him, he reached up and rested his hand on the spot where you had kissed him, staring at you lovingly.

God, he really was in deep, wasn’t he? What had started as a little crush was rapidly turning into full-on love and he was falling deeper and deeper. And with someone who hadn’t felt the same way nor ever could. He was in deep shit, but he didn’t even care. He was going to let himself feel it. He had to. You had reached into his chest and taken his heart and he let you happily.

You got to the counter and turned to Steve who had already been looking at you. If you were already starting to feel a little something for him, you were afraid of what was going to come from the dates you still hadn’t gone on. For once, you wanted to find out even though the thought of actually falling in love terrified you. For once, you wanted to see what all the hype was about. You were fully prepared to dive in head first, knowing that Steve would be right there to catch you.

[yanderes-galore]

I know that tomorrow’s the 17th and that the time period for requests is later in the west, but I had to request it know knowing JoJo’s on the list! Where there is fanfics, I’ll be there. When headcannons are afoot, I will be there!

Anyways, sorry for the ramble on my current hyperfixations. Prompts 3 and 10 for Narancia.

Sure! Sorry this took so long, I was struggling- Hope this works for you... I appreciate feedback!

Yandere! Narancia Prompts 3 + 10

"You'll love me, even if we have to sit and wait for it to happen."

"I've given myself all to you! Yet you call me a monster!"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Violence, Implied attempted murder/Murder, Manipulation, Clingy behavior, Possessive behavior, Stalking, Overprotective behavior, Fear of abandonment, Angst, Delusional behavior, Forced relationship.

You remember when you first met Narancia. Part of you wishes you could go back to those simpler times. Maybe then you'd be a lot less... stressed.

When you met Narancia you did petty theft. You lived with a relative of yours and you grew up rather poor. You still went to school most of the time... but you barely had enough money to eat.

That's when you met Narancia... a friend who also seemed to be in a bad spot. He felt that the best thing in life and survival is friendship... it's no wonder he befriended you. Friends help each other.

You two became close. Narancia helped you steal to get money and even knew your relative. You two might even be partners in crime.

Then disaster hit.

Your relative was caught and sent to jail. Narancia was set up and also went to jail. Now... now you were all alone with a dwindling food supply.

Soon you dropped out of school. You yourself ended up thriving on the streets. This was your life for years as you grew up.

Soon you yourself ended up signing up for Passione. You needed a job, you needed money, you needed somewhere to go. You were tired of being some sort of street rat.

By some means you pass Polpo's test and gain yourself a stand. This leads you into Passione... where you end up meeting an old friend.

Truthfully you both never thought you'd see each other again...

Maybe it was best you didn't?

Narancia was ecstatic when he saw you again. The other members of Bucciarati's gang were surprised when Narancia leaped onto you with childish joy. You yourself even froze for a moment.

There he was... once again... your friend. You can't help but sadly smile as you hug him back. It was after this you were introduced to the gang.

From there you thought things were rather normal. Narancia hovered around you but that was expected when you catch up. You two talked a lot and the gang noticed Narancia got less angry at times.

Especially during studying with Fugo... his temper goes down to a simmer when you're around eagerly listening to the lesson.

The gang became your family along with Narancia. For a long time you feel happy. There's always moments between the members, both good and bad, but you love it.

Well... loved it... things got strange with Narancia after awhile.

Narancia got more and more clingy with you. At first you assumed it was just him being protective. After all... now he knows how easy it is to lose you.

But now he clings to you as though you'll abandon him. Instead of being calm his aggression spikes when you speak with others. It scares you how fast he pulls his blade on people around you now.

It's as though he's scared they'll take you.

The way Narancia looks at you is so different now. His eyes don't hold that same friendship anymore. Instead it's drowned out with a certain darkness as looks at you.

You hate that he seems to know exactly what you're doing at all times.

You know something's wrong. You just aren't sure how to deal with it. As a result you end up distancing yourself from Narancia. You instead find yourself talking to other people, not just the people in the gang.

It only seems to bring more issues.

You don't realize how far Narancia's gone until he does something drastic. You see him come back from a mission smelling of soot and blood one day. When you ask him what happened...his answer scares you.

"Oh... well I was off on a mission for Bucciarati... then I saw a certain guy you've been talking with... then I got a bit... carried away-"

The thought of what he means scares you. As a result you instead close to the gang more. However... even then it's not enough.

Narancia doesn't even like that anymore.

Soon Narancia corners you in private. You already fear to be around him... but you listen because you're friends, aren't you?

"Do you like me?"

Not anymore....

"Of course I do, Nara, we're friends until the end... always have been-"

"No, not like that. I mean... I want to be your boyfriend. We've been through similar pains, haven't we? ... don't you want to be with me?"

"Narancia..."

"Why have you been ignoring me?"

You curse yourself when he pins you, purple eyes swirling with a certain possessive tinge. Your fear increases when when he tightens his grip. It's then you try to reason....

"Narancia, please-"

"Answer my question..."

"You... you scare me, Nara. You won't let me talk to anyone but you-"

"You aren't supposed to!" He sneers. "You talk to anyone else... I'll lose you again."

"You won't Nara-"

"I need you to be with me... please say you will. I'll do anything!"

"Nara, I can't-" You whisper, trying to push him away.

"What do I need to do? Do I need to kill for you? I've done it before, I'll do it again!"

You pause for a moment, staring at Narancia. He seems to caught up in the moment to realize what he's said. He only pauses when he sees you shaking.

"So that's what happened..." You whisper, thinking of when he came back covered in blood and smelling of fire. "You're a monster..."

Then you see Narancia snap.

"I've given myself all to you! Yet you call me a monster!" Narancia yells, his grip tightening. His temper flares and it causes you to cry a bit. You want to go back to the rest of the gang.

Narancia seems to notice your shivering and sobs. His heart pangs in guilt. He's hurting you...

He's hurting you because he's selfish...

He doesn't want to lose you.

You don't move when Narancia pulls you into a hug. His gaze holds a delusional glint as he holds your shaking figure against him. He loves you too much... too much for his own good.

Why won't you reciprocate?

"You'll love me, even if we have to sit and wait for it to happen." Narancia whispers, kissing the top of your head. To him, he wants no one else.

You two belong to each other...

He's known that since he's met you... this is fate... he just has to be even more patient.

[roguemaki]

Hey! I hope your week is going great :)

Like everyone else, i wanted to send you a heartfelt thank you for your immense efforts and time that you take out of your day to translate and type set these interviews and videos.

It always brightens my day when i get a notification from you and i know I’m in for a treat so it’s really truly appreciated from our end 🙏🏼

I was also wondering that when the asticassia school assembly BD comes out, if you could consider uploading it somewhere so that people who can’t purchase it would be able to watch it as well? I was really looking forward to seeing the VAs performance on stage and also some of the comedic moments like Suletta rapping but unfortunately, money is a bit tight for me right now. 😞

If you could consider it that would be awesome but if you rather not do jt, that’s totally fine as well :)

I also wanted to ask for your advice regarding learning japanese. I took some classes in college but haven’t kept up with it. Do you know any resources that you felt were really helpful to you when you were learning the language? I really want to dedicate myself to it this time! I’d really appreciate any tips, thank you! :)

Hey hey~ I actually got some fantastic news at work, so my week's off to a great start. :3

And you're very welcome! Thank you for enjoying and supporting my TLs.

I pre-ordered the School Assembly BD and am planning to subtitle it in parts, similarly to how I'm doing the Ep 24 Character Commentary… but for an upload of the full thing, I have to be more circumspect: I'll post when the rip is available and give contact info so interested folks can reach out directly. Just trying to avoid getting Eye of Sauron'd by Bandai-Namco, lol.

Regarding Japanese study: we're in similar boats! I also took classes in college and got back into serious self-study after not practicing for a while.

Here are some self-study resources I find useful:

For daily Japanese practice…

Renshuu for vocabulary and grammar. WaniKani for learning kanji. Ringotan for kana and kanji writing practice.

Renshuu is a site (also available in convenient app form) for building up vocabulary and grammar with quizzes, games, and community activities. It's by-and-large free - premium provides some enhancements (like more listening/pitch tools), but isn't necessary for most of the content. WaniKani is a fantastic resource for learning kanji. They use some truly memorable mnemonics to teach radicals/vocabulary and schedule lessons/reviews in a way that promotes real retention. Give Levels 1-3 a try since they're free, and if you like the teaching method, a lifetime premium sub is reasonably affordable when it goes on sale (like on Black Friday). I use Ringotan, a free phone app, to supplement WaniKani (which is focused on reading/recognition) with writing practice.

Other resources/tools...

Install Yomitan, an in-line dictionary extension, on your browser.

Dokusho Bookclub is a site for finding reading materials targeting specific JLPT levels.

Out of the many resources available on YouTube, I want to highlight Kaname Naito's channel - he teaches in depth vocabulary and grammar used in actual conversational Japanese.

I have a routine of always doing my "dailies" and just try to read/watch/play as much Japanese media as possible... Thankfully there's so much good stuff available online nowadays. :>

Hope you find something useful for you in this list. Good luck with your studies!

[bp4545]

His Duties (My Sunshine - Part 3)

Word count: somewhere around 3000

Warnings: Swearing? if it bothers you. Nothing else much

Summary: You find out that about Draco's prefect duties and confront him...

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6.

--------------------------

Meeting Draco in the kitchens became a regular thing for you two. You would both get lost in discussion and talk about all sorts of things with each other. All in all, you were surprised by his actions, you thought that you'd never encounter him again, or that he would treat you like a complete stranger during the day or in class. But he treated you like a friend, you liked that. You liked adding a new friend to your list, and you were glad that you had gotten to know the boy better.

It had been just over a week, of your and Draco's little late night rendezvous in the kitchens. You were enjoying them, and you were starting to see a side of him that you weren't sure anyone else saw. You were sure falling for him, slowly. 

You were in potions class now, your favourite class, and professor Snape had just assigned a new task, we were to make the Veritaserum potion with a partner in class, as a practice for our upcoming OWLs. You were looking forward to it, you could get along with just about anyone in the class, including Draco now, so it meant that you didn't really care who you were partnered with.

You were sitting in a table of 4, you were next to Chris, with Hannah and Zach opposite you two. The four of you were laughing with each other and mucking around when Snape entered the classroom.

"Quiet all of you" He threatened, "Now, as you all know I will be picking your partners for the practice assessment." 

There were groans all around the classroom, mostly from the table of Slytherins at the back. 

"Professor Snape, surely you can pair me with Draco" You heard Pansy whine like a four year old. You watched Draco grimace at Pansy's comment, as well as Daphne give her a glare, then turn to smile at you. Professor Snape didn't answer her question but continued talking.

"Unfortunately, Professor McGonagall is here to have a talk with you during this period, about some important matters, so this lesson will be cut short. We will not have time for our practice assessment today, I will pick your partners tomorrow; be prepared" He chose to drag out the last phrase with deep emphasis, which sent shivers down you spine.

You wondered what Professor McGonagall was here to talk about. As if on cue, she strutted into the classroom. You heard a chair scrape against the floor at the back of the classroom, and footsteps walk to the front of the classroom. Draco

"Morning class" She started "I have to have a chat about the night time activity of students in your year group. There are far too many students wandering around the school grounds at night" Draco stood by the Professor's side and nodded, in agreement to what she was saying. Hypocrite. You thought. He's in the kitchens every night! 

"Mr. Malfoy here has informed me of the many students he has found wandering the halls at night during his prefect patrols, I am simply appalled by the amount of you who have been caught doing anything but sleeping in your dorms. I cannot stress this enough. Students must be in their dorm rooms by 12 am, no later. If any of the prefects inform me of any activity after 12 am, I will be quick to act on this" Professor McGonagall looked furious as she spoke, though you weren't really listening to anything she said after. You were still stunned by what she said in her first sentence. Draco is a prefect. 

It hit you like a load of bricks. He wasn't just meeting you every night in the kitchens, he was patrolling. But then what did all those conversations mean? Those late night walks? Him walking you back to your dorm? Was it all for him to show Professor McGonagall that he was keeping students in line... why had he not ratted you out?

You were beyond confused, and you longed for answers.

--------------------------------

You decided that you would confront him in the kitchens tonight, you just hoped that he wouldn't put his duties over your late night cravings, and that he wouldn't hand you over to McGonagall.

As you were lost in your thoughts, you heard two people shouting your name.

"Y/N" you definitely recognised them "Y/N". It was Justin and Chris of course. What could they possibly want right now?

"Y/n, tell me, Chris over here thinks that the Gryffindor team is going to win the next quidditch game, what a load of bullshit. I'm here telling him that the Hufflepuff team is going to win. Can you tell him that for me?!" Justin ranted on to you as he eyed Chris, it made you giggle a little bit, and Chris shot you a warm smile. You blushed. Gosh what is wrong with me, first Draco then Chris?

You looked at Chris playfully once you had recovered from your blushing moment, and you smiled wickedly.

"Sorry bout this one Christian, but the Hufflepuff team is 100% going to win. If I was in Gryffindor I would tell you otherwise, but you came to the wrong person" You snickered at him as he smiled down at you. He had such a warm smile, he was so sweet too. Gosh y/n get yourself together, this year isn't about finding a love life. Or is it?

"Oh trust me" Chris started "The Gryffindor team is going to win, and when they do you will be running back to me for autographs" he chuckled, a bit full of himself as he was the seeker for the Gryffindor team. You fake pouted at him as he patted your head as if to say 'hush child'.

"Trust me, y/n and I will stay quite a distance from you, plus our team is definitely going to win, especially because I'm the seeker" Justin flexed

You couldn't help but giggle, you loved hanging around with Justin and Chris, they were best friends and you were left in the middle of their stupid arguments. You didn't mind though.

"I don't think I can stand around this dumb ass any longer y/n, you can have him I'm going to the library to find Hannah. "  Justin winked at you and left for the library. 

You sighed. You knew exactly what Justin was up to, everyone usually shipped you and Chris, and Justin was one of those people. You didn't really understand why, I mean you two were great friends, and sure you made flirty jokes here and there, and maybe you two spent a lot of one together and looked as if you were a couple... you sort of understood what people meant now. 

You never saw Chris as more than a friend though, but now you weren't sure. He was a great guy and now that you think of it, a lot of the stuff you two do together might come across as things a couple would do. Even if you thought you liked him though, you doubt he would like you back. He already told you a while ago that he fancies the girl from the year below you guys, Astoria Greengrass.

He could have picked anyone else and you would have supported his opinion, but there was no fucking way you would ever support his crush on Astoria. You wouldn't tell him that though, you hadn't told anyone about your hatred for that girl yet, only Hannah.

"So..." you snapped back to reality as Chris tried to start conversation. "Anything interesting happen for you lately?"

He started the conversation off a bit awkwardly for your liking. 

"Not really" You told him. There was no way that you would ever tell him about how you and Draco have been talking to each other after school hours, he would be furious. "What about you? And your little crush?" You nudged him playfully.

"Y/n I told you, its not a crush. Its just a half crush, she is pretty and she has a really pretty smile, but I know she has a shitty personality" He admitted, he didn't want you getting ideas, because he genuinely didn't like her in a romantic way, he just admired the way she looked, and her natural beauty. 

"Yeah, yeah. I totally believe that" you commented sarcastically. I mean he was a great guy, you definitely knew he deserved better than a bratty fourth year who slept with who knew how many guys. You started to imagine what kind of a boyfriend he would be, he would certainly be kind, and he would treat you like a princess. He would be there for you, you could confide in him, as you're wrapped in his strong arms, looking into his warm blue eyes, running your hands through his blonde locks, playing with the rings on his fingers. 

You weren't thinking about Chris anymore, you were thinking about the one and only Slytherin prince. Then you remembered that you were a bit upset at him, for not telling you about his prefect duties and leading you on. 

"What are you thinking about y/n?" You heard a voice chip in, and a hand on your forearm. "You always make that face if you're thinking about something important" You looked at Chris and sighed. Should you tell him?

"Nothing" you said. You hated keeping secrets from him, you told him practically everything. "Even if I did tell you, you wouldn't like it"

"Ridiculous" he scoffed "Y/n, if something is bothering you then you can tell me, even if I don't like it." he hugged you around your waist, he had strong grip. Your head was against his shoulders, face near his neck and hands against his chest. You two were in a position that definitely looked as if the two of you were anything but 'just friends'. You giggled to yourself at the thought, and Chris loosened his grip.

"Okay, I will tell you, but just not now, it's a bit complicated" you explained

"That's alright y/n. Just tell me whenever you're ready, no pressure." he reassured you. You hummed in reply as the Golden Trio started walking up to you two.

Harry and Ron went up to Chris and they started talking about the upcoming quidditch match, as they were all in Gryffindor. You started talking to Hermione, and you realised you never actually had the chance to have a fully fletched conversation with her this year. It was nice talking to her again, you ended up talking to her about the upcoming OWLs, her Christmas holidays with her family back at the muggle world, and your love lives.  Which weren't actually very exciting seeing as none of you showed particular interest in any guys yet. You were confused as to why you hadn't heard of any guys having crushes on Hermione, I mean she was perfect. She had beautiful hair, and lovely eyes, and the perfect body, the perfect smile, the confidence, the friendliness. You just didn't understand.

"I'm just waiting for the perfect guy you know, someone where I have something special with him" You nodded at her statement, you were looking for that one guy too. Hopefully he would come soon.

"I get what you mean, the guys here at Hogwarts really need to up their game" You laughed, she joined in with you.

The three boys all decided that they would go to the Three Broomsticks, to get a drink, so you and Hermione tagged along with them. It was nice and calming, you were glad you had a lot of friends that you could count on. When you came to Hogwarts, since first year you promised yourself that you wouldn't make enemies in your school years. So far you had lived up to that promise, you could get along with just about anyone, no wonder you were placed in Hufflepuff.

----------------------------

"So you're telling me that you have been meeting up with THE DRACO MALFOY every night after school hours?!"

You were sitting with Hannah, Daphne, and Hermione in your dorm, explaining the late night rendezvous you had with the slytherin prince. Hannah and Daphne were over the top dramatic about it. Hermione, well, she was silent the whole time, you weren't very sure what sort of reaction she was displaying.

"Yeah..." you said

"That boy is actually so damn fine, I can't believe you've been talking to him behind our backs girl" Daphne said.

"Yeah, I heard he fucked 12 girls in our year last year. I dunno how he managed to pull one every month" Hannah laughed as well as Daphne. You were quick to stay silent on that one. Something about discussing Draco's body count was uncomfortable to you. Maybe you wanted to be the 13th one.

"Hermione are you alright?" You asked, to break the awkward silence.

"Hm? Yeah I'm fine" She sounded distant, like the conversation to her was nonexistent. You shrugged it off and suggested that it was late and that all of your should go to sleep. 

You and Hannah were left alone in the dorm, you were closest with Hannah, you told her everything and so did she. It was 12am, and Hannah was already fast asleep. You wanted to go to the kitchens to meet up with Draco again, but it was all different after knowing that he was a prefect, and was only talking to you because of his duties. You sighed and got out of bed anyway, putting on your hoodie and heading out the door. Except you didn't go to the kitchens.

--------------------------

The breeze was soft, and the clouds blended in with the dark blue sky. You headed over to your favourite willow tree, that had lost its leaves over the winter. You could see a few new leaves sprouting, but other than that it was completely bare. You took a seat on the bench that was underneath it and let your hair down. Playing with the hair tie between your fingers, you thought about your conversation with Hermione, and how you two were talking about your love lives. Hermione seemed so confident in her love life she seemed so sure that everything was going to play out for her and that she would meet the perfect guy. 

As you were lost in your thoughts, you didn't hear footsteps approaching you from behind. The person came to sit next to you.

"I was looking for you, why weren't you at the kitchens like you normally are?" Draco asked, he was a bit concerned. You completely ignored his question as he shuffled a bit closer to you on the bench.

"Forgot to wear pants did we?" he chuckled as he looked at your bare legs, goosebumps were noticeable because of how chilly it was outside. You were wearing shorts, they were just not visible because of your ginormous hoodie.

You stifled a laugh, successfully. You didn't reply to him once more, you just wanted your questions answered.

"You're a prefect Draco" his eyes widened a bit, he didn't know why he felt weird when you said his first name. He was a bit confused by your question. What were you on about?

"What?" he replied.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a prefect Draco? And that you were here because of your duties?" You questioned him, your tone of voice was rushed, you were nervous for some reason.

"I-I thought you knew..." he trailed on.

"No Draco, I didn't." you sighed, disappointed in yourself for not knowing sooner. "It just makes me question a lot of things."

"Like what?" Draco said softly.

"It makes me question why you ever talked to me in the first place. You duties? Or actually getting to know me?"

"Well I mean it's a bit of both, I'm glad I got to know you and the prefect patrols just make it a heck of a lot easier to talk to you alone"

"Yes, but why Draco?" you were exasperated

"Why what?..."

"Why am I not in detention right now! Why am I still meeting you every night? I don't get why! Why have you not told on me? Gotten me into trouble for being out of my dorm past 12?" You let it all out.

He fell silent. He didn't really know why himself. He had snitched on practically everyone. The 3rd year Gryffindors he spotted in the corner of the common rooms making out, or the Ravenclaws up in the astronomy tower, or even the Slytherins from first year trying to hex each other in the Great Hall. But he chose not to for the Hufflepuff girl in his year, he did need you for something though. He didn't want to tell you, but he felt like he could trust you.

"I..." he started "I need you for something, I need help with it, I just need advice" he sighed, avoiding eye contact with you. "It's embarrassing, though"

"You can tell me Draco, I won't judge you. I'm the last person who would do that" you reassured him honestly.

"I know, I know. But it's nothing like me, nothing like how I used to be." he looked away shamefully. Was that... blush spread across his face? "I haven't told anyone, not even my friends"

"Am I not your friend?" You giggled

"No- no that's not what I meant I-"

"No it's okay I know what you meant" you laughed. He smiled at you. He knew you didn't like your smile or laugh, but he thought it was really contagious.

"You have a pretty smile" he pointed out blatantly. You grew self conscious and stopped laughing and stared at him wide eyed. 

"I didn't tell you to stop laughing" he chucked at you. You just looked away to hide your blush. Draco fucking Malfoy just told you that your smile was pretty.

He probably sensed that you weren't going to say much more because you were self conscious. He placed an arm around your shoulders, which didn't help with your blush. You swear you were falling for this boy each day, it just felt like he opened up to you in a way he hadn't done to anyone else. You thought back to what Hermione said, having something special with someone. Maybe he was your special someone. You regained your confidence and decided to play flirty.

"Draco" you said, leaning your head on his shoulder as his arm slunk over your shoulders, "What would you do if I fell asleep on you right now?" You tucked your legs under your hoodie and sunk your head deeper into his shoulder, you could smell his cologne, and the soft fabric of his sweater, as you playing with the drawstrings.

"I'd let you" He whispered.

[maelstroumwaterfall]

Arbormagic Sydrome (The End Of The Wizarding World) Chapter 5 | Hogwarts Mystery Infection AU

Chapter 5. Trust and Support

It's been two days since the Kneazle Incident. Many students couldn't properly participate in lessons as they were traumatized by what they saw. Professor Kettleburn was considered responsible for what happened. As the two students were seriously injured he's been suspended from his job at Hogwarts.

Barnaby and Maelström were transferred to the hospital wing and treated. Barnaby's condition was better than Waterfall's, but his wounds were still serious and the Kneazle leaved very deep scratches along his arms. His hands were bandaged and have to get disinfected over time.

Maelström's face was almost fully bandaged, nobody was allowed to visit him since the incident and he was in coma since he was brought to the hospital wing.

The whole situation even broke Rakepick's plans but gave her some time to deal with the situation with Merula's wand. She wouldn't even care about it but when she examined Snyde's wand she couldn't help but felt that she saw it somewhere. She usually recognises every type of curses she meets, but this one made her confused and doubted.

Anyway she still searches for the answers. Even though she now has less job as Five Year's students were briefly suspended from classes, finding the information about the 'curse' she met was more than just difficult.

Merula was thinking about what happened for a long while. The Kneazle's attack proofed that something wasn't right, but she couldn't search for the answers all alone. Later, he was going to tell Ismelda about what happened in the common room, but now she's moving towards the hospital wing to meet Barnaby.

She hoped she wasn't the only one who noticed the Kneazle's behaviour. Before it attacked Waterfall it looked not aggressive but rather scared. If someone also noticed it, it has to be Barnaby. At least there was some use in his knowledge about animals.

Snyde was already about to enter the hospital wing she noticed that Rowan was walking away from the room. He noticed how determined she was when she walked towards the room and wondered if she was also looking for Maelström.

- Merula? Are looking for Maelström? - he called out. He sounded quite uncertain and awkward, Merula wasn't the one he could casually talk to.

Snyde suddenly stopped and turned towards him. She even forgot there were other students as she only saw her destination and no obstacles.

- No? Are you? He is supposed to be in the hospital wing, isn't he?

- Yes, he is.. but.. I didn't find him there. I wanted ask Barnaby but he was sleeping and I leaved. - he sighed and Merula couldn't help but felt a some kind of empathy towards him. Maelström was a selfish, arrogant, conceited liar and yet, he had such a loyal and trustworthy friend like Rowan.

She saw how worried and conflicted he was and once again felt regret that the Devil's Snare didn't manage to end Waterfall's miserable existence.

- Listen, Rowan. We both know something isn't right with Maelström. You have to be the first one to notice that. - she didn't want to stay silent about it anymore. She had to make sure everyone knows the truth, even though she wasn't sure if she knows it herself.

- I.. - he wanted to deny her words but he indeed noticed but how strange was Maelström's behaviour recently. His emotions became somehow unstable, he was constantly complaining about thirst and hunger, scratching his skin, and besides all of this, Waterfall was very aggressive towards magical creatures. - I want to trust him.. But..

Merula looked at him closer and gave a slight nod, already knowing what he's going to say.

- You're right. - he finished. He was still very uncertain, he felt like he's betraying Maelström, but aslo felt like something really is wrong.

- Oh, finally. - she smirked at him. - And don't say I didn't tell you that before.

- But you didn't?.. - he already felt like regretting saying this but Merula only rolled her eyes.

- Anyways, I think I might be very close to finding the answers. Not like I care about this freaky thing Waterfall.

------------

Barnaby just woke up and leaned at the back of the bed. He still felt this burning pain in his hands but he didn't regret helping Waterfall. It was the least he could do for his friends. He was a little surprised that he didn't notice Maelström anywhere in the room, but decided that he was probably transferred to the hospital in Hogsmeade where he could get better treatment. Suddenly the door in the hospital wing was opened and he flinched a little when Penny rushed inside the room and moved to the other end of the room with a quick pace.

It wasn't even a minute when she came back with an even more angered look than before. She stopped near Barnaby's bed and clearly had something to tell him. Barnaby couldn't help but noticed the red scratches on her skin. Even now while she while she looking at him she was scratching her skin. Hands, face, neck, everything had these red marks.

- WHERE'S MAELSTRÖM?! - she asked almost yelling. Barnaby even though it wasn't her as it was the first time he saw her like this.

- Well, he's not here.. - he responded, still being a little confused. He didn't even manage to gather his thoughts as everything happened too quickly.

- What do you mean he's not here?! - she shouted back while her nails kept leaving red scratches on her cheeks.

- Um.. Obviously, I mean he's not here.. - he responded, not really understanding the question. Her expression was enough to tell him that she's not satisfied with such answer. - I don't know where he is. He was probably transferred to the other hospital..

- Don't know?! How do you fucking not know if you've been here together all the time?! YOU, USELESS PIECE OF. - she didn't manage to finish her sentence as she was interrupted by Barnaby, to this moment it looked like she almost caused her scratches to bleed.

- There's no need to yell, Penny.. - Barnaby said, feeling a little hurt at her words. He never thought she could think about him like this.

- Yell?! I don't ye.. - suddenly, she stopped like she just came back to reality. She even stopped scratching her skin for a moment and her expression became less annoyed and aggressive.

- I-I.. - her features softened and her look slowly turned into a really worried one as she saw Barnaby's upset look, and she felt extremely guilty after she understood what she just said to him.

- I'm so sorry, Barnaby I.. I don't know what's wrong with me.. - she managed to say while one could heard a slight trembling in her voice. Her eyes watered before a few tears fell down her cheeks. - I don't know what's going on with me.. . I-.. I... I yelled at Tonks.. Insulted Ben.. and even Rowan.. It's.. It's all because of this curse.. I wanted to ask Maelström to stop searching for the vaults, but couldn't find him anywhere!.

- Hey, hey, it's fine, Penny... - Barnaby said softly, helping her to sit down at the bed. He couldn't bear seeing her tears and even felt like crying himself. - You can tell me everything, just please, calm down.. - he saw how difficult this all was for her and he felt genuine empathy towards her. He carefully pulled her in his embrace and gently hugged her.

- Please, Penny.. Don't cry. You'll get through this.. We will. - he said, really trying to reassure her. She indeed looked very tired and scratching her skin was obviously painful for her, but she just couldn't stop herself. Seeing her suffering was more than just painful for Lee.

She leaned on him and she couldn't believe she was finally able to rest after everything. She felt constantly nervous, afraid and tired. She felt so guilty for hurting her friends and this support from Barnaby was very important for her. She layed her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. - Thank you, Barnaby..

(Thx for reading 💝 😊 The next part is going to be about Tonks and Rakepick and I'll try to write them 'till the end of my weekends (this Wednesday :'<) I also need to work on my school project but it doesn't mean I'll not spend more time drawing and writing things I'll not need in my life >:>

[impossible3girl]

When I kissed the teacher

(ABBA inspired)

Snape x Reader

It was one of those days – the 7th year Gryffindors and Slytherins we were sitting in the cold and dark dungeons near the end of their double lesson potions with Snape. Oh sorry, I of course meant - Professor Snape. I was sitting beside Charlie in the second row, and I could see in his face how he wished to be somewhere else. Based on how often he yawned, preferably his bed.

Like all the other Gryffindors he hated potions with Snape. Well when I say all I mean all except me. I was quite enjoying the lesson. As usual, Snape held one of his speeches about how great and complex the magic of potion making was and even though like the other Gryffindors I had quite a dislike for him or to be more specific his teaching methods, his passion for the topic fascinated me. And if I was honest, I thought it was kinda... I don't know how to better describe it than sexy. Of course, I would never say it out loud. Especially not to my housemates.

Oh yes, he was one of the worst teachers in Hogwarts, particularly for us Gryffindors. It was no secret that he hated us. He treated every house except Slytherin, his own, poorly but the Gryffindors had to suffer the most and I was no exception. Still, I loved potions and could relate very well to him and his speech.

From the beginning I had some kind of talent. Right in the first year. My first potion, the best of the class. Really you can believe me I am not exaggerating. And I really enjoyed making them and learning all their secrets. Spending my free time reading every book about potions that I could find. This made it sometimes really hard for Snape to trick me and take away some of our points. Which only made him more annoyed.

I was listening and writing down every word the potions master said, basically hanging on his lips as I felt a little nudge to my ribs. I turned to the side and Charlie started speaking, "Finally. I thought you were dead." rolling my eyes at him, I asked, "what is it?" "I don't wonder why Snape is still single. Besides his looks, obviously. He is basically married to his potions." „Oh come on Charlie, don't talk like that. Potion making is actually a fascinating topic. I can totally understand him..."

"Miss y/ln. Again, you are talking during my class." Snape said and fixated me with his black cold eyes. He stepped in front of his desk and walked towards me. "If you think you already know everything about the art of potions making, then why are you here in my class?"

Now he was standing right in front of me and started leaning down, his head right in front of mine. "I should have known that you don't understand the magic behind the complexity of potion making. How only the slightest difference in the process can change the effect of the potion..."

… I had stopped listening a long time ago when suddenly like being in a trance I took my chance, closed the gap between us and kissed him. Right on the mouth. I don't know what I was thinking. Probably I wasn't thinking at all. I just looked at his eyes and BAM!

First it was like the world stood still. Everything was quiet, no one was moving and I was completely focusing on the feeling of kissing my teacher. Then I heard some screams from my classmates but I couldn't care less. This was what I had dreamed of the last weeks no months and it was even better than I had imagined.

His lips were a bit rough but oh so sweet. I was in the seventh heaven but after just the blink of an eye it was all over. He didn't even reciprocate the kiss when he already broke it. But what else was I expecting? He was my teacher and I just kissed him in front of the whole class.

Snape straightened up and looked down on me. I held my breath as the seconds ticked away and I already saw the cauldrons I had to clean for the rest of the year. Or maybe even worse. What if I got expelled? I could forget my dreams of becoming an excellent auror catching all the bad guys. I would only be known as the weird girl who got expelled for kissing Professor Snape. Snape of all people.

But then he just smiled, looked at me for a few more seconds while I tried to avoid his eyes and went back to his desk. He went on with the lesson as if nothing had happened but the whole class went wild.

Everyone was whispering and looking at me but Snape seemed to not care. He didn't even take points away from the student who were disturbing his class. Not even from my fellow Gryffindors. Till the end of the class, I could feel Charlie looking at me. Now and then I heard him taking a breath like he wanted to say something but every time he changed his mind.

As soon as the lesson ended, I left the room and went outside. I sat down under one of the trees at the lake. Just a second later I saw Charlie standing right in front of me looking down. For a minute no one was saying a thing then he started talking.

"Wow what was that!? You kissed him!" "Oh, I didn't know." I answered with a sarcastic undertone. "No really. I know you have some kind of crush on him but I never expected this. I really thought I was dreaming. But you should have seen Snape, his face. You made him blush like a fool." He laughted but I didn't answer.

I didn't know what to say or better how to say it. How do you tell your best friend that you love the one teacher most of the school hates? How should I tell him that I dream of him every night? I just wished I could show Snape how much I cared for him. I wanted so badly to just hug him... what a crazy day when I kissed the teacher...

My first fanfiction. Had this sitting in my drafts for a while and thought I'd finish and post it now.

[lukaherehelp]

恋の羊羹 « The feeling you get when you meet a person with whom you are going to fall hopelessly in love. »

a "the fox & the prince" playlist.

Please, listen in order. Under the cut is links to the lyrics of each song and a highlight of the lyrics that fits the narrative!

( I wrote them as if they were text extracts and changed the pronouns on some of them to fit the narrative.)

Lu Decker & Gonzalo Hermida - Pasajeros a su tren || 👑&🌹

" We both stopped living at the same moment and now each one of us will have its own story, because ours could not be. I am sorry I have not returned I'm sorry, I won't come back And I'll always remember how nice it was, that now because of selfishness, it's not so nice any more. Look at us "

Taylor Swift - Midnight Rain ||🌹

" My boy was a montage: a slow-motion, love potion. I broke his heart 'cause he was nice. I guess sometimes we all get just what we wanted. And he never thinks of me. And I never think of him "

Alec Benjamin - Paper Crown || 👑

" He'll make it out, but he's never the same. He's looking down at the scars that remain. But you hold your ground when your kingdom's in flames. 'Cause it's the story of a king whose castle has fallen to the sea, knowing there's no one who will come and save this king. And there's no one, who is strong enough to save your love. There's no fairytale. When all he needs, when all he wants, when all he finds. When all he is and ever was is compromised 'cause there's no one to love him when you build your walls too high. And there's no one to love you when you trap yourself inside. "

CHUU - Hitchhiker ||👑

" I crash-landed somewhere. In the blink of an eye, everything became a new trip. A straight road extending on the horizon. As I walked, I wondered if I would meet a friend. Taking a deep breath and looking around my own earth even without a map, somehow I like it. My small, secluded island where beautiful flowers bloom. I open my eyes wide and engrave it in my heart, I have a lot of questions in this different world. I've never seen this unfamiliar view before, so it becomes special. In my secluded island with many mysteries, something unpredictable might happen. "

The Chainsmokers & Coldplay - Something Just Like This ||👑 to 🦊

" I've been reading books of old, the legends and the myths, And clearly I don't see myself upon that list. But he said, "Where d'you wanna go? How much you wanna risk?" I'm not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts. Some superhero, some fairytale bliss. Just something I can turn to, somebody I can kiss. I want something just like this. "

Demi Lovato & Bert McCraken - Give Your Heart A Break ||🦊 to 👑

" I know you're scared it's wrong, like you might make a mistake. There's just one life to live and there's no time to wait, so let me give your heart a break, when your lips are on my lips, then, our hearts beat as one. "

Lola Índigo - cómo te va? ||👑 & 🌹

"I watered the flower and you made it rot. I was metal and you rusted me, you blamed me and then you left. Your memory won't go away, it's not time for you to come back now. 🌹 How do I explain to you that it wasn't for you? How do I explain it to you if you're not here? I promised you Heaven and it didn't make sense because in reality we were already there. 👑 Now that I'm gone, you want to change. I have realized that. You were my weakness, it hurts and squeezes. That's why we're not coming back, I don't trust you anymore. When you're around I only feel cold. I'll cry my sorrows, I'll jump into the void. I'll get out of this, but not with you. "

Demi Lovato - Don't Forget || 🌹 to 👑

" Did you forget about me? Now I'm left to forget about us. And at last, all the pictures have been burned and all the past is just a lesson that we've learned. I won't forget, please don't forget us. Somewhere, we went wrong. Our love is like a song, but you won't sing along. "

IU - Love wins all || 👑 & 🦊

" Dearest, darling, my universe. Would you take me along? To a place I can't dream with my poor imagination. Far away in the universe, from Earth to Mars, will you please go with me? Go to the end with me, my lover. The two of us, side by side, gone astray on purpose. Crush me in your arms, give me a lovelier kiss, lover. Our love wins all, love wins all "

[nicky2]

we system self discovered after starting hypnosis but it became very clear quickly that we had been one all along. we definitely had more than sufficient trauma during that developmental period to be a classic traumagenic system lol. but it is kind of sad, isn’t it? realizing the system had been one way, had had these parts, and then we listen to hypnosis and now we have twice as many parts and only one is original, and it’s not me and it’s not the host lol. i know that parts don’t “die”, they just return to the primordial goo and the memories are reorganized to whoever can handle them. but i have this image in my mind of these kids we had in our head who never had a chance to become adults, who i never had the opportunity to meet, because we accidentally found BS. i wonder what they knew through the patterns of memory that they had. trying to investigate a dead part like i might investigate a living part feels like going into a bedroom and it has the belongings of someone, and pictures of them, and some of their diaries, but they’re dead and they have been gone for the last 7 years. honestly it reminds me of other people i’ve lost. i’m very much of the mindset that my parts are not people, we comprise one whole person. but what are people but collections of information— experiences, memories, lessons learned, impulses, behaviors, relationships, opinions— that one day lose their containing body and are never accessible again in the way they were accessible when they were contained by that body? i can’t ask my dead parts questions without feeling like i’m writing the answer in for them, playing make believe. it feels the same trying to imagine what [dead loved one] would say to me if i came to them with my questions. no matter how realistic the response i come up with… i’m not really talking to them, right?

i can’t wait to one day trust a therapist enough to tell them about my experiences with bambi sleep lol. i had therapy for awhile, but we never talked about me indepth. we talked about the relationships between host and me and the others. but never about me, or our past, or why i am the way i am, both in the way BS created me, and in the rationale of the part that thought trying BS might be a hail mary solution to the problems we were experiencing by the nature of how we failed to fit the mold set out for us. we were playing an ill-suited role. we were not that girl. BS was supposed to turn us all into the girl we were supposed to be for the people who had control of us at that time. but we reorganized (sounds nicer than shattered) instead, and we’ve left those people. we’re somewhere much safer.

i don’t credit any of the success of my alters and their support circles to BS, i just think we had just been cohesive enough to grin and bear the weight of our suffering beforehand. afterward, we were too broken to find the weight bearable and we had to run away in order to survive. maybe we could have left with more of a solid ground to stand on without BS. but i think maybe that old part wanted to break us. if we were broken down into a liquid and poured into the perfect mold but still came out wrong, then staying would be unnacceptable even if we didn’t come out of the process broken. it would have just been clear that nothing could ever REALLY make us into the girl we were supposed to be. and now being that girl is my burden, i guess, and i’m trapped as a sideshow in the life of somebody for whom my burden is a nightmarish past life, a distant but haunting memory. the darkness is over, but i still want to find out if we can become that girl. it is maladaptive now. our situation is different. but if i don’t really really really try to destroy us, how can we really know that we’re strong enough to survive?

i know better than that, in theory, but i still try by instinct almost. i wake up and i start trying before i’m awake enough to recognize i’m awake. trying to break us down into what Those People wanted us to be.

anyway. people talk more nowadays about the risks of bambi sleep, which is good. but i don’t know if having all the content warnings we have today would have helped the girl who was here when we started. she didn’t believe in hypnosis, but if it were real it was supposed to replace us completely with someone who has no free will, so that would be seen as acceptable. the thing that she couldn’t have been warned for is that we have a dissociative disorder she didn’t know about. she couldn’t have known about what would happen to the perfect girl she made to replace her, which is that i’m bambi but i’m bambi in a mind where i have none of the controls that bambi is supposed to have. the other alters are not “old selves” that i can silence. theyre parallel selves that exist outside of me. theyre not in my control. i can imagine silencing the others, i can even successfully silence them temporarily with bambisleep, but it takes more than hypnosis to do that permanently. and i don’t have like the money necessary to make the fucking saw esque contraptions i’d want to trap myself in this with. nor do i have the personal agency to find and actually pursue living with an owner that could do all that for me. maybe i could have if she were aware of the state i’d be in now, back before i existed. maybe if she knew what i would become, and what (truly much more safe for our physical and mental wellbeing) situation i’d end up in, she could have planned a better, more thorough self-destruction. but she didn’t really know she was self destructing, even if she would have been fine with that. she didn’t really have a plan. she just wanted to escape her suffering, not by leaving or being strong, but by staying and being radically different. so much so that would we no longer have to suffer with the free will that we naturally had. but it wasn’t enough destructive power soon enough to prevent the boys from saving our collective life from misery in unwanted servitude. so. she didn’t achieve that. but now, 7 years later, we’re destabilized and driftless. the free will that saved us isn’t nowhere to be found, but it’s pointed in so many different directions as to be ineffectual. someone come get me. someone come pick me up. we only function well in society because we’re safe with someone who’s protecting us. if someone like the people we left knew the degree and nature of our newer vulnerabilities, it’d be bye-bye to freedom. in essence, i’d finally win.

and then one of the boys would end our life and i could stop experiencing all of this

[hypnotisedfireflies]

So I'm not sure if anyone has ever asked this before, but what if things had been different in the museum, and Joel was bitten instead of Tess.

How do you think Tess would have handled the whole take Ellie across the US adventure? (Don't have to be crazy detailed here, I guess I'm just wondering if you think the same points would have been hit.)

Let's say just like Tess is Drifters Dusk Joel doesn't turn. Do you think Lachie still would have helped him, would Joel have helped himself?

If Joel does get out of the firefly stuff alive, how do you think the reunion in Jackson would have gone?

Okay, hope I did not double up a question or ask too much.

Hi lovely! Thanks for your ask. <3

"I'm on your side, you dumb cunt!"

- Lachlan Maynard, losing his shit with Joel Miller in this scenario.

I think ... everything would've been different. Alike though Tess and Joel are, I think it's pretty unlikely anything would've gone the same way.

Tess would've taken Ellie to Bill and Frank's, but she would've stayed there with her for awhile. Tess still wants to find Tommy, but she doesn't have Joel's unrestrained urgency. I think she would've used the time there to rest up, to plan the journey and to assess what Ellie is capable of. Ellie would've gotten the gun a lot sooner with Tess than she did with Joel, and had some lessons right there in Lincoln.

I don't see it likely that they would've encountered Henry and Sam. Tess wasn't going through any big cities. So I think after leaving Lincoln, their journeys would have barely overlapped. An entirely different adventure.

I know people like to shit on Joel and say Tess would've done it in days or whatever, but that's not much fun. Her journey would've been fraught and challenging in other ways.

As for Joel and Lachie - yes. Absolutely yes. While Joel and Lachie didn't have the relationship that Tess and Lachie did, the Firefly still would've helped Joel - he wouldn't have even stopped to think about it.

Joel would've been a lot harder to control, however. Tess was level-headed to stick with Lachie even when the other Fireflies wanted her dead. There's a little ficlet that touches on that and I think it's also somewhere else but idk anymore. But Joel would've been difficult enough for drama to kick off earlier, and then he'd probably abandon Lachie to try and follow Tess and Ellie by himself. Lachie would have to chase after him and be like:

"I'm on your side, you dumb cunt!"

But we know how good Joel is at listening to that kind of thing. It would've worked out eventually between the two of them I'm sure, probably when Lachie started telling Joel nice Tess stories. Stuff like, "She was the first person who made me feel safe," and "Tess reminded me of my cousin." Etc.

However, they would butt heads a lot. Lachie's laid-back but he's not a doormat and he wouldn't take Joel's shit. There are probably several tussles.

"What the fuck does she see in you!? You are the moodiest cunt alive! Everyone thought that in Indy, you know that? Everybody wondered what the fuck she was doing with you."

Which ofc Lachie didn't mean and is a total lie, and as they lay on the ground bleeding and hurting afterward Lachie would be like:

"Actually everyone thought she was a heartless bitch and you deserved each other. They thought you were a match made in heaven."

And Joel would start laughing and Lachie's all, "that's not a compliment, dipshit."

Lachie gets sick towards the pointy end of his journey with Tess. That's probably the real turning point of Joel and Lachie, and Joel would get him safely to Jackson.

The reunion would play out differently. Tess made Tommy wait a few days before telling Joel she was alive so he could recover, but you'd better believe the Miller brothers didn't have the same foresight. Joel's probably on the gate the day Tess and Ellie come back.