#u said it perfectly

[customboytoy]

Ode to Topping with Bottom Dysphoria

[oceanwithouthermoon]

man, if i were kusuo saiki and my brother knew everything i was saying without hearing it, i would pretend that everything he knew i was saying was wrong and act super confused just to fuck with him

[shibuiking]

[heartofarcanum]

Oh my god

I am RABID. I am FERAL. I am CLIMBING THE WALLS.

[sukugo]

im obsessed im never gonna shut up about this oh my god im never fuckign recovering oh shit oh fuck gikjsadkashiouepujksajkHOIHJFA

gojo's legs wrapped around sukuna's waist, the way he pulls sukuna closer, the way he clutches at sukuna's hair and buries his face in his neck. THE FACT THAT GOJO'S ALL SLASHED AND BLOODY. im so NOT normal about this oh my god

[camzverse]

FREE SPACE AU - 01

spider-van spider-van does whatever a spider-van can

@vanweek2024

[hootiee]

friendly reminder

[dwtdog]

Another ex-inniter hello hello we wallow together in what could have been if Tommy was actually who he said he was

Also, like. As someone who has actually been SA'd, and who is still working on admitting it, and it would've happened to at the same age as Caiti, it's crazy insulting cause she actually set me back in that whole process (denial is a hell of a drug and I snort that shit daily)

And Rue, oh Rue

I hate her for seeing Dream's genuine words, words that made me tear up, and saying he wants brownie points. The words he said to Shelby at the end I selfishly took like they were written for me and she's reducing him to a fucking clout chaser. And then that inniter being like, she needs more love

Love for what? Setting me back in my own process, tearing down and already beaten down community further? Ignoring her own friends SA, ignoring that Dream himself is a victim. The only person that wanted brownie points was Rue, it's projection atp

I hate Rue and while I feel for Caiti and however she feels, I hate that she worded it the way she did. She was made uncomfortable, but there was no sexual assault and more importantly George backed off when she explicitly told him too. That is so key to me. I want to say more but also like I said a lot of this is tangled in my own head, now more than it was and ugh

Sorry if this was too much lol 😅

-jay

❤️

[rithmeres]

yes, the plans that i could not share with you (because the haters would sabotage me) were that i was taking on LACC in my vash getup :)

i have so few pictures of myself but i got so many compliments (especially on my arm) and plenty of other people took pictures of me. and normally i don't like attention but i will be honest with u. under these circumstances i loved it. my arm held up really well through 8 hours on the convention floor and i have never been prouder of anything i've made. it's articulated incredibly well, no part of it gave out or required repair, it's never uncomfortable or a nuisance to wear, and i have enough range of motion to do relatively complex things like tying my shoes.

originally i was not planning to try to meet anyone famous because 1) it's expensive and 2) the lines are long and 3) i feel weird and annoying approaching literally anyone for any reason BUT. the spot where i met up with my sister just happened to be right next to johnny yong bosch's table. right when he started signing things. so i said LOL ok i'll do it.

it was super chill, i asked him how it felt to get the call that they wanted him to come back 20 years later for a trigun reboot and he said it almost didn't happen -- that since they recast everyone else for stampede they considered recasting vash as well (and i said WOW i'm so glad they didn't) and he said he really enjoyed getting to come back and explore a darker take (i forget if what he said was a darker take on vash's character, or just a darker trigun in general) but it was briefly surprising 2 me that he considered stampede to be a darker version but i get it, especially when u consider that there is not a lot of comedy in those 12 episodes to balance out the grief.

ANYWAY he was impressed with my arm and i asked him if he would sign my coat :) so he signed the lining but he was also like u know what, i'm gonna give you a second autograph just because. so he signed a print for me as well (free of charge!!) and the print with the blue signature matches my famous paintings that i always film in front of (that's providence baybee)

other stuff from the con under the cut

cosplay notes:

i saw 3 other vash cosplayers (a 98 vash, a stampede vash, and a purple coat vash) and no shade but i definitely had the best arm build. peace and love to all of them though

i saw 1 1/2 wolfwoods. 1 was the aforementioned mullet wolfwood from yesterday's post (ww if you’re out there ww) and the 1/2 was the 98 vash cosplayer’s gf in some kind of goth-ish dress and she was carrying a punisher

mullet wolfwood if you're out there i regret not getting a picture with you so much. i am deeply ashamed and i have no excuse because i ran into you twice and both times i was too embarrassed to ask for a picture. i just want you to know that your punisher was swag and your earrings were yolo and we would look very good together

i expected to see a lot more trigun tbh. los angeles where u at. 4 vashies at a convention of 120,000+ people is nothing. one guy even walked up to me like wow i love ur vash, i haven't seen a lot of trigun at this con and i was like I KNOW i thought i'd see a lot more

theeeee costume of all time award goes to the cad bane cosplayer i saw on the balcony. spare hand in marriage dude (gn) you looked so good

second place for costume of all time goes to the other mother cosplayer who had button eyes and these crazy finger appendages and never once broke character even while waiting in lines

i took 100 points of psychic damage from this one guy who (and im not kidding) was at least 6’4’’ and wearing platform boots and was dressed as the mfing onceler. with the stupid top hat he was fr 7+ feet tall (i saw him duck to get through a doorway).

someone was there as the brawny paper towel guy?? just walking around in a beard and flannel carrying a pack of paper towel rolls?? go off king

i saw 5 nightwing cosplayers but only 2 were biblically accurate (had ass)

the nanami sweep at this convention was so real u all SHOWED UP. and everybody ate. i saw at least 12 nanamis and not one of them was a flop.

i have never seen so many spider-mans in my life

other things:

fig. 1: this extremely hot captain america on a very large poster was about 2 make me act unwise. hi gorjus................................. nice eyebrows

fig 2: i saw this sign a couple blocks away from the con and i did a triple take. 🔥🔥🔥TRIMAX MENTIONED🔥🔥🔥

fig. 3: i saw all 4 hobbits in panel and can confirm elijah wood’s laugh is ten times more infectious in real life. before they were even done sitting down, dominic monaghan switched around all of their name cards so that none of them were seated behind the right name. as u might imagine much of the panel's content was reminiscing about LOTR, but i heard some stories that i hadn't heard before. they also talked about video games, other projects they are working/have worked on, how their kids feel about their dads' LOTR roles, how much they love ian mckellen, and how they would love to see something happen for the 20th anniversary of ROTK this year. sean astin (the legend) took shots at the stranger things writers (basically said joyce could never be happy with hopper) AND EVERYONE CLAPPED LOL. billy and dom talked about the best food in NZ, their show billy and dom eat the world, and the unfortunate events that led to the friendship onion's hiatus. it was a ton of fun to just watch them be themselves with each other, you can tell that these guys are all so fond of each other and love each other so much.

and finally, fig. 4: i bought these beautiful prints from @/batinyourbelfry and the skeletal washi tape from @/skeletalacademia (both on IG)

[unexpectedbrickattack]

I just woke up from a dream where Pepperman and Noise INSISTED it was Vigilante who said he wants Peppino to sit on him. Pepperman was supportive while Noise was teasing and laughing to no end. Gustavo dropped Vigilante and started to just walk away for some reason. Peppino found a bottle of hand sanitizer in the car and said That was the reason the car wasnt working but now he's fixed it. They arrive as the gala without Gustavo because he freaking walked all the way

This is leaving me in stitches 😭😭 Gustavo said ‘um. This is your problem now’ and left this cheese bucket right in the sand.

The idea of pepperman being so supportive while vigi gets irate is SO funny hes like “I AINT SAY THAT! I AINT SAY IT.” And hes so red in the face 😭 the noise is making kissy sounds and being a nuisance and Vigi is even more pissed hes like “I AINT SAY IT; YOU CALLIN ME A LIAR!??? HE SAID IT” (Peppino: ‘why are they yelling?) and it pans to the empty space gustavo was standing in 😭 Angry he cant go and get him to prove it bc hes just a bucket of cheese melting in the heat

And i love that this world is cartoony enough that peppino could actually say that and have that be the funny gag of an episode where pepperman is like ‘oh thats right, how did i forget to leave this behind. This always happens and i simply never learn 😔’

All of them are like um. Were missing someone. And gustavo is just GONE theres miles upon miles of empty desert and road and gus managed to cross that in like 2 minutes. Gustavo comes to the gala sweating bullets bc it didnt occur to him he could just get brick to come and pick him up 😔

[mcdannowave]

[sergeifyodorov]

A green ass Tyler Seguin jersey has been used as theee hockey jersey in several k-pop music videos which IMO speaks to the look already being canonized as the camp/performance based take on Hockey As A Thing That Exists. IDK how k-pop idols even know who Tyler Seguin is but clearly his reach is broad and should be respected and allowed to carry over to drag race!

!!!! this is EXACTLY what i was thinking of when i added him to that post im SO glad u get it

[spider-man-2o99]

people Pick Him Up Like A Sack Of Oats so often and it genuinely kills me. what is it abt miguel that makes him so insanely pick-up-and-throwable to every single person who lays eyes upon him

[teacup-captor]

LOOK AT HIM BEING A POUTY BABY <3 I FUCKING LOVE AND ADORE HIM HE'S S O IMMATUUUUUUREEEEEE

[burymeinblack2022]

YOUR AUNT MARGARET IF SHE SLAYED

SICK. TWISTED. LIMP WRISTED (LITERALLY)

Credit

[pumpkinrootbeer]

This could differ from person to person but I do believe that at the start, Evan genuinely just wanted to help the Murphys and wasn’t sure how to do that other than to lie and he felt trapped by his situation (for lack of a better word) and that was sort of influenced by what Jared said to him (“you’re seriously gonna tell them all they have left of their dead son is a weird sex letter you wrote?”), though of course I’m not trying to say Jared like, did that maliciously. As time went on, particularly in Act 2, Evan did start to act out selfishly and trying to use his lie with the Murphys as a means to get what he wants rather than actually helping them. I really like your posts analyzing them, honestly Evan and Jared’s dynamic is so interesting, and at the end of the day they’re both just like. Awful teenagers. They need couple’s counseling or something

i absolutely get you, and like you said they're just awful teenagers!! they're kids who are going through so much and have no support, they're going to do stupid shitty things. and of course you're absolutely free to your interpretations!! no shame in interpreting media differently then me :) that's the joy of fandom! And thank you!!! i have really enjoyed rambling abt these losers I love them so much <3

Also you've activated my autism beam and now i get to talk Abt my interpretations even more hahaha my perfect victory.

So first thing, yes! I 100% agree that Evan did want to help the Murphys and try and alleviate some of their pain at the start. But there's a shift at some point throughout the play where it's less about helping them and more about helping Evan, which I think most people agree on that at some point Evan's interests shift to being more self centered— it's just a matter of when that change occurs that people disagree on.

I'm of the opinion that the change happens, or at the very least starts to happen, very early on. I would say the moment Evan's motivations start to shift is when he says the line "They didn't want me to stop." while talking with Jared (and I am going to talk about my interpretation of Jared because I have so much to say about that freak 😭). This is the moment, for me, Evan realizes he's getting positive attention for lying. And that maybe he kind of likes it.

And I've said this in my other posts, but Evan isn't admitting to himself that that's why he's doing this! I don't think he's even aware of why he's really doing this. When he says he's doing it for the Murphys, he genuinely believes that.

The moment where I think he's 100% doing it for himself, even though he doesn't realize it, is Disappear. Because Connor's memory is already forgotten and they are parading this fake version of him around, a fake version of Connor that makes Evan look better and one that is actively causing real Connor to get forgotten faster. And Evan admits in the song that it's also because he doesn't want to be forgotten, which is not this horrible awful thing to feel! Evan isn't a bad person because he doesn't want to be invisible. I don't think Evan is a bad person at all!! What he does that's bad is hijack this tragedy for himself, a thing that again, he doesn't even realize he's doing.

i would definitely agree with you that by act 2, everything is mostly for himself. Cue the "It's not my fault other people can" line. Which I would argue is probably the cruelest thing Evan says in that entire show 😭, and then we get Good for You where Evan realizes things are starting to fall apart and that Alana isn't completely unaware and Evan's hurt her and his mom cares so much and has been so hurt by what Evan has done and that Jared isn't going to always be at his beck and call to write more emails whenever Evan needs him to, and that he's also been hurt by Evan's actions. Probably the most important song in the whole musical tbh. And THEN we get Words Fail where Evan just finally has to come to terms with why he's been doing everything, and it's also such a crucial moment for Evan's character Words Fail baby I love youuuuu.

So yeah! I agree that Evan started out with pure intentions, felt trapped, and then ended up finally feeling seen. He's a complicated character that I think gets watered down to a one dimensional poor anxious bean too much, it does a HUGE disservice to his character. I love canon Evan my perfect asshole son WAAAYYY more than fanon Evan did nothing wrong ever he's too anxious to hurt anyone.

With Jared, I actually think one of the most interesting things about him is that line!! Why does he tell Evan to not come clean? He has nothing to gain from it, he isn't even using the lie to get closer to Evan yet because the lie doesn't really exist! And you can't even argue that he's trying to sabotage Evan in this moment because there's nothing to suggest Jared ever actively tries to ruin Evan's life.

Sure, he says he would if he had that letter but nothing in the show suggests that's something Jared would do. He keeps Evan's lie for him the entire show, even when he has no reason too. Jared had cause and means to ruin Evan's life, but chooses not to again and again. So I'd definitely agree that he's not acting with malintent.

How I read that line, and obviously people are free to disagree, is concern. He is genuinely worried about Evan here and what Evan telling the Murphys will do to Evan. It's not even self preservation because he has nothing to do with this yet!

And because Jared is... well Jared, him looking out for Evan is telling him not to come clean! Nod and confirm, boys. Nod and confirm. Like it's this really imperfect, messy answers right? Because he's a teenager whose go to answer is not telling people shit about what's going on with him. Like, so many of Jared's problems would be solved if he knew how to talk to people, like "Hey Ev you're my only friend and you inventing a fake friend who is your best friend kinda sucks and hurts my feelings. Also this thing you're doing is weird and selfish xoxo love Jared." But he can't say that, because he's well. he's Jared.

And then he just offers to write these emails for Evan, and then continuously tries to do shit for Evan in the second act when Evan wants fuck all to do with him it's literally insane how Jared acts. "I can't do any more emails this weekend I have to hang out with my REAL friends 🙄🙄" to immediately "wait I can help with the project please please involve me in your life" like the lie isn't really holding up there Jared 🤨🤨 and then the invite for Evan to come over and drink and just shoot the shit with him he's clearly so desperate for his friend but he's also such an asshole he had to constantly push Evan away at the same time 😭😭😭😭 OHHHH I love them.