#ugh butts and stuff

[shima-draws]

AAAAAAAAAA WAIT WAIT if you finished wci then i gotta know how you felt during judge and luffy's final conversation when he starts listing all of the qualities he thinks are sanji's worst and then luffy waves him off w/o responding and is like 'wow why did he say all those nice things abt you?' and sanji's so bashful abt it

UGLY SOBS GODDDDD I cannot believe he actually said that 😭 I love that what traits Judge sees as “failures” Luffy sees as complete successes surrounding Sanji’s character. And he was so adorably oblivious too Judge was just shouting at them and Luffy was like “Okay yeah and he’s super pretty and he has nice abs and a cute butt, what’re you so mad about?” LMAO

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

current editing moodboard, please send help

[sailforvalinor]

Do you think 10 would have had as big a connection to Rose without the foundation of Nine's background/relationship with her? I think they still would have been close, but I don't know if it would have gone AS fast or been AS open without Nine. just because he did love Rose so much and I think a lot of that carried over into 10. I mean 10's looks came about specifically because of how 9 thought she'd want her S/O to look!

Oooooooh excellent question. Short answer? No, at least not right away—but their chemistry is just so electric that I feel like it would have gotten there, given more time. (Also I’M SCREAMING I knew people said that but I didn’t realize it was actually CANON AAAAAUUGGHH)

Long answer, it raises the question if Ten would even be the same person without Nine and Rose’s relationship. This is kind of dipping into my own still-forming opinion on how the Doctor’s regenerations work (as I understand it there are differing opinions on how it works in-canon anyway), but Ten was created by Nine sacrificing himself for Rose—Ten is almost quite literally a manifestation of Nine’s love for her, which is why Rose is integral to Ten’s identity, even when she’s lost. It’s her name that keeps him fighting. It’s her influence that informs his decisions, even when she’s not there. She’s his center of gravity.

Honestly? I’m not sure Ten would even be Ten without meeting Rose, even disregarding the fact that he probably wouldn’t have gone through all that character development and healing without her (or at least in the same way). Especially given what you mentioned about his appearance, I like to think that Ten is Nine’s love for Rose blasted through a megaphone. Tenrose without that foundation just doesn’t work.

[beachyserasims]

Trying to control 15+ sims on a lot is SO ANNOYING

[minty-furry-bee]

Tumblr decided to nerf me by deleting a blog I had for a decade without warning or reason, but I am determined to enjoy soft fluffy furry art with pastel colors and great expressions so here we bloody are. I was a-soft-fluffy-nerd if the name rings a bell, but what's important is your art is neato burrito.

Omg hii!!!

I’m so sorry tumblr did that?? That’s really terrible I’d be so distraught I’m sorry 🥺🥺 I’m glad you found your way back though !! And thank you so much for your sweet words!! 🤗💝💖

[sturnsdarling]

You're much better company, tough girl

fratboy!matt has met his match with smartand'mean'!reader, and he can't get enough of her

vibe check: SMUT, mattthemunch, unprotected cuddle time (I'd tell you to wrap it but i'm not your mother) bigdick!matt, choking, spitting, praise, reader strumming the bean, pet names (angel, tough girl), all that good stuff.

4k words

A/N: This concept was born from and is my take on the wonderful, amazing and ridiculously talented @sturnioz fratboy!matt au, and its also my first fic so, be kind. PSA REGARDING PART 2

love and cigs, merc

The autumn air was cold, and the fishnets on your legs weren’t doing you any favours. you’d snuck out the party to escape the weirdo guy that was basically stalking you since you had arrived. You'd hoped to find your friend, but she was somewhere tangled up with one of the resident frat boys, her shy demeanour acting like catnip to the renowned player Chris Sturniolo. You found yourself outside the front of the house, genuinely considering leaving, but knowing your friend would need company once Chris inevitably got bored of her. From around the corner, you heard  a lighter flick and the deep inhale that normally follows, turning and walking down to the side of the house, you saw a shadowy figure being periodically illuminated by the butt of his cigarette. 

"What're you doin’ out here?" you questioned, walking over to Matt who was leant against the side of the house, trying to escape the "new age, shit rap music" Chris put on.

Matt held up the cig in his fingers and gave you a short smile, before placing the cigarette between his lips and taking a long drag, his jawline becoming even more prominent as his cheeks hollowed slightly. 

"Thought you didn't smoke?" you said, arms folded over your chest as the cold air bit at your nearly bare legs. 

"I don't smoke weed, but, I do love my cigs" He held the open box out to you and you pulled one out, placing it between your lips gently. He brandished his silver lighter in front of your face and lit the cigarette, absentmindedly staring at the way the flame illuminated your features. 

"Chris is the stoner, kid fuckin' loves it" He said as he flicked the lighter closed and placed it back in his pocket. 

"Cigarettes still contain drugs, y'know that right?" You smirked, taking a drag and letting the smoke come out with every word. 

"Yes, smart-ass I know that" He quipped back, "everyone needs a vice, you know?" 

You giggled slightly as his philosophy, "a vice? you need something to help you escape the plaguing reality of being a frat bro?”, smiling as you placed the cig between your teeth and took another drag.

“Ugh, don't call me that" he responded, spitting the foul taste out of his mouth onto the floor, "besides..." He paused to take a drag, "If I was a frat bro, which I'm not, I could have a plaguing sense of reality, frat boys have feelings too you know, kid" he smiled, his perfect teeth almost reflecting the light from the street lamps. 

“oh, do tell, what plagues the infamous Matthew Sturniolo" you grinned at him, rolling your eyes in faux sympathy.

"Infamous? ouch.” He held his hand to his chest, pretending to be offended. 

Pausing for a moment, he looked at you and then to the floor, shuffling where he leant slightly and shrugging his shoulders, "I dunno, l've always got somthin' going on up there" He gestured to his temple with the cig in his fingers.

“But, 'nough about me, what're you doin' out here?" he asked, desperately trying to change the topic from himself, pointing his cigarette at you in an accusatory

"Came lookin’ for you" you said, blowing the smoke from your pursed lips. 

His eyebrows raised at your confession, "Me?" He questioned. 

"mhm" You nodded, taking another drag. 

“Why?” his brows furrowed as smoke bellowed out his open mouth. 

“I didn’t actually, jus' thought you’d like the flattery” You chuckled, ashing your cigarette.

“wow, okay, how tough are you?” He smirked, standing up from his leant position and throwing his cigarette to the floor, just before stamping it out. 

“Me? tough? never.” You said sarcastically, placing your cigarette back in your mouth. 

Matt came forward slightly and pulled the tiny stick from your lips, placing it between his own and taking a drag whilst maintaining a firm stare. You watched him intently, your big eyes burning holes into his as he placed the cigarette back into your mouth. 

“You didn’t answer my question, kid” he said, his tone faltering as he blew the smoke from his mouth.

a long huff left your mouth as you rolled your eyes, “I needed to escape this guy, he was fuckin’ relentless and I was not into it”. 

Matt paused for a moment, still baring down into you, “yeah?” half of his teeth coming onto display as a smirk encapsulated his face, “what are you into?” he asked, tilting his head to the side slightly so he was even closer to you, his breath nearly touching the cold apples of your cheeks. 

As he was speaking you took a long drag, and in response to his clear attempt to rile you up, you blew the smoke into his face with pursed lips and a smile. Matt blinked slowly with raised brows at your bravery, letting the wind carry the smoke from his face. 

“What do you think i’m into, Matthew?” you asked, matching his earlier cadence. 

“I think, you act all tough, but really, you want someone to tell you to sit down, shut up, and to take it like the pretty, pretty girl you are” he said, so non-challant you’d think he was explaining that the sky is blue. 

Your breath hitched in your chest, and your eyes fluttered slightly, not quite fully closing. 

A cheshire cat smile formed on Matts face, he knew exactly what type of girl you were from the moment he laid eyes on you on the first day of the semester. 

“You think I’m pretty?” you asked in a condescending tone, pulling your confidence back, trying to ignore the growing sensation in your stomach. 

Matt simply nodded in response, tucking a messy strand of hair behind your ear and letting his fingers trail down past your neck and over your bare arms. At some point during your back and forth, Matt had edged his face impossibly close to yours, he hooked a finger under your chin and pulled your head up to face him, 

“I think you’re beautiful, tough girl” he whispered, almost into your mouth as it parted with his words. 

With that, you threw your cigarette to the floor and thrust your lips into his, the force pushing him backwards to into the wall he was leant on only moments ago. His hands found your waist, pulling you in tight against him as yours pulled and tugged at the loose brown curls on the back of his head. The kiss was feverish, animalistic and messy, you were positioned snug between his legs as one of his hands found its way to the covered flesh of your ass, he squeezed it with a low growl and slapped it quickly after, rubbing the sting away with a soft hand. The sensation caused you to whimper into his mouth, jolting against him as his hand smacked your ass. He chuckled into the kiss, his hands roaming all the way up your back and into your hair. He pulled you off him with a firm hand wrapped around the back of your neck.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you make noises like that” he dipped his head down, capturing your neck in his teeth and soothing the sting with a flat, warm tongue. 

“Matt” you whispered, your head hanging on your shoulders, resting in Matts large palm. “What’s up, angel?” he murmured from the curve where your neck and shoulders meet.

“I’m not—shit— I’m not gonna fuck you round the side of your house” You manage to get out, slightly distracted by the sensation of Matt nipping at sucking at your neck. 

“Let’s go inside then” You even mentioning fucking him was enough permission to take your hand and drag you inside. 

The music boomed against your skull as he pulled you through the party with your hand in his, both of you ignoring everyone that tried to spark up some kind of drunken conversation. He led you up the large staircase in the centre of the main room, his focus on your destination only faltering to glance at Chris who, had your best friend tucked under his arm on the sofa, the pair exchanged a knowing look and Chris shot Matt a wink, quickly returning his attentions to the shy girl perched next to him. As you and Matt reached the top of the staircase, he turned, pulling you into him for the second time that night for a desperate kiss. This time, he leant down, taking the backs of your thighs in his hands with a tap that you knew meant ‘jump’. You obliged and within moments, you were being thrust into his dimly lit bedroom. He kicked the door closed with his foot, never breaking the kiss, and walked the two of you over to his bed, placing you down somewhat gently onto the brown satin sheets. 

“You’re so pretty, y’know that?” he said breathlessly, breaking the kiss to tear off his red sweatshirt. 

“I think you mentioned it once or twice” You replied, desperately clawing at the back of his neck to pull him back into you, your legs loose around his waist. 

“Such a smart-ass” he groaned, his hand suddenly gripping your throat as he pushed you back down onto his sheets, squeezing the sides of your neck. 

You moaned at the sensation, brows furrowing as your hips involuntarily bucked upwards. Matt chucked at your responsiveness, his hand trailing down your chest to toy with the hem of your top. 

“Can I take this off?” He asked, softly. 

“mhm” you nodded, desperately. 

“Words, angel, I need words” he halted his movements, his voice stern. 

“Yes, Matt, take it off, please”  The pleading in your tone evident, despite your attempt to be moody. 

“Begging already? I knew I’d like you” with that he pulled your top over your head and left you exposed in your lacy black bra, your hard nipples perking through the sheer fabric. 

“Fuck” Matt uttered under his breath, his large hands roaming around your nearly bare torso. 

He couldn’t help himself, he leant down, pulling the thin fabric from your tit and wrapped his mouth around your hardened nipple, grinding down onto your core as he did, chasing the friction. Your head rolled back at the feeling, and as if on instinct, your hips rolled against his. Matt trailed his kisses down your stomach, each one igniting a hot fire all over your skin. He hooked his fingers round the hem of your skirt, still trailing hot, wet kisses down your heaving torso. He looked up at you, being met with your pleading eyes staring down at him.

“Can I?” he tugged slightly at your skirt. 

“yes, please” you nodded frantically, lifting your hips up to aid him in removing the fabric that separated his mouth from your aching cunt. 

“Such a fast learner, such a good girl” he smiled as he pulled your skirt down over your knees, leaving you in nothing but your bra, fishnets and thin black panties. 

“Jesus christ” he said as he perched on his knees by the edge of the bed, “these are staying on” he said, caressing your legs with firm hands. 

He edged his hands further down towards your core, spreading your thighs apart for him as he lowered himself down, hooking your legs over his shoulders. As his hands reached where you ached for him the most, he pressed firm fingers across your pussy, rubbing upwards and finishing his movement with a short circle of both of his thumbs over your throbbing clit. With one quick motion, he ripped a hole in your fishnets, exposing your dripping cunt to him as your wetness seeped through the thin fabric of your thong. His eyes might as well have sparkled at the sight, 

“Look at that, tough girl, you’re all wet over me taking charge” he said, taking a finger and swiping it up the wetness that had collected  at the entrance to your pussy. 

You whimpered, bucking your hips once again at the stimulation, whining slightly in attempts to coax him into touching you properly. 

“I need to taste you, angel, can I?” he asked, like a boy begging to stay up to see Santa on christmas morning. 

“Yes, Matt, please, fuckin' hurry up already” you whine, desperate and aching for any sense of relief from this agonising feeling. 

He didn’t need any more permission, with a low hum (more like a fucking growl), he pulled your soaked panties to the side with vigour and latched his mouth around your clit. Your back arched off the bed immediately, his tongue sending sweet euphoria up your spine as it toyed with your sensitive bud. The moan that escaped you was pornographic, and it only egged him on further. He slipped his tongue into your entrance, lapping at the juices that seeped from your hole as his thumb found your clit, moving in slow circles over the sensitive bud. He moaned into your pussy, as if he was getting off on eating you out, the vibrations from his groaning only adding to the knot growing in your stomach. Your hands found his hair, tugging at the messy brown curls that covered his beautiful face as he devoured you. 

“Fuck, Matt, that feels so fucking good” you cried out, tears pricking at your eyes as he moved once more to suck on your clit. 

His fingers swirled and prodded at your slick entrance, your walls nearly sucking him in as they clenched around nothing. He took your incessant moans as invitation to insert two long fingers all the way inside of you, curling up into that perfect gummy spot as he did. Your thighs clenched around his head, tensing and shaking as he brought you to the edge. He raised himself up slightly, pushing your legs apart with his forearms and pinning you down under his weight, his fingers relentlessly curling into you as he sucked and lapped at your clit, desperate to make you come undone all over his mouth. You tugged at his curls once more, earning a deep groan from him that vibrated around your clit and, that feeling, coupled with the warm pressure of his body weight on your thighs and his intense, animalistic eye contact, sent you over the edge. Your orgasm ripped through you, your whole body shaking as you moaned his name over and over again, bucking your hips up into his face as he continued his pace, mercilessly lapping at your sopping pussy. You started to tether on the edge of overstimulation just as he pulled his mouth from you, his fingers still pumping in and out of your dripping cunt. You stared down at him with fluttery eyes, your fingers caressing his scalp as he helped you ride out your orgasm with a tender smile and tiny bites down the inside of your thigh. 

He pulled his fingers from you and got to his feet, the bed shifted under his weight as he brought himself up to hover over you. 

He traced the outline of your plump lips with the tip of his finger, asking for invitation. You obliged and opened your mouth, exposing a flat tongue to him. 

“Taste how sweet you are, angel. fuckin’ delicious” He said, placing his fingers on your tongue before edging them down your throat, watching intently as you gagged around them. 

He chuckled slightly at your submissiveness, pulling his fingers from your throat and trailing them down your chin. He placed a firm palm on the front of your neck and pulled you into a kiss, his face still wet from your cum. You whimpered into the kiss, frantic hands moving down in between you in attempts to unbutton his jeans. He smiled into the kiss and squeezed the sides of your throat with his fingers, bucking his hips into your hands as they freed him of the confines of the thick denim. He assisted you in pushing his jeans down his legs, not once breaking the kiss as he expertly shuffled them off and kicked them across the room. He crawled back on top of you and pushed you further up the bed, with one hand on the back of your thigh and the other round your neck, he hooked your leg over his waist and began to grind down into your sensitive core, the fabric of his black boxers giving just the right amount of friction between you. 

“Matt, I need you inside of me, now.” you whine, the demand sending shivers up Matts spine as he locked eyes with you. 

“What’s the magic word, pretty girl” He smirked, you rolled your eyes in response and brought your other leg to hook around his waist, your feet locking him in. 

“Please, matt” you reluctantly (you loved it) begged. 

“So good for me, angel” he smiled as your hands snaked their way into his boxers, palming his hard cock. 

Your eyes widened slightly at the size and he noticed, a sense of pride washing over him, “Bigger than you thought it would be?” he smirked.

 A wave of nervousness overcame you but you pushed it down, biting your lip and tightening your grip on his throbbing member, “I always knew you’d be huge, the quiet ones always are” you said, pumping him slowly. 

He couldn’t help but rut into your hand, his head falling into the curve of your neck as he palmed your tit, pinching at your hard nipple whilst his other hand left bruises on your thigh. Small whispers left his mouth and fell onto your skin, his warm breath only turning you on even more. You pushed his boxers down completely and he kicked them off, looking down at where you were attempting to line him up with your weeping entrance. 

“So needy, huh? tough girl? lemme help you angel” He pressed his tip against your folds and aided you in guiding himself into your slick walls. 

The feeling of him stretching you out made your back arch off the bed, your hands flying to the sheets for some sort of leverage. He chuckled slightly, slowly thrusting his leaking tip in and out of you, letting you adjust to his size inch by inch as he trailed soft kisses down your jaw and neck, biting every so often only to sooth the sting with his warm tongue. 

The feeling was euphoric, he was somehow keeping you between feeling completely satisfied and overstimulated all at once. 

“fuck, angel” he drew out, “y'so fuckin’ tight and m'not even half way in— Jesus christ- y'gonna be the death of me” he grunted, capturing your open mouth in a wet and tender kiss, his tongue pressed against yours as he thrusted into you completely, bottoming out. 

You both moan at the feeling, your legs tensed around his waist and your arms found home draped over his shoulders, hands tangled in his hair. 

He pulled out of you almost entirely, still kissing you mercilessly before thrusting into you again, this time with a lot more force. You moaned into his mouth, tugging at his hair to counter the sting of your pussy, blissfully stretched out around him and aching for him to move faster. 

Matt broke the kiss, taking your jaw in his hand and squeezing your mouth open, he gathered a ball of spit in his mouth and lowered it towards yours. You caught it on your tongue and swallowed it with a smile as he watched in awe.

“You’re perfect” he uttered, leaning down to kiss your squished lips before releasing your jaw and earning another smile from you. 

With that, he set a relentless pace, fucking you into the bed with each hard thrust. You moaned out his name, pulling him in impossibly close to you with both your grip round his waist and your hands in his hair. His head fell next to yours, hot breath panting in your ear as he moaned and whimpered at the feeling of your slick walls clenching around him. 

“Fuck matt, you're so big, stretching me out s’much, oh my fucking god” you trail off, your words bouncing with every merciless thrust. 

“Take it angel, fuckin’ take it, I know you can” he panted into your ear, sucking on the lobe. 

He slowed his pace but fucked you harder, each thrust inciting a pornographic moan from your lips. 

“you sound s'good when you moan, so fuckin’ sexy” he groaned, pounding into you harder just to earn those beautiful whimpers from you. 

His tip formed a bulge in your lower stomach, poking out of you over and over again as he hit your g-spot, bringing you closer to the edge for the second time that night. You brought a hand up to his mouth, silently asking for permission to collect some spit from the pad of his tongue, he obliged, biting your fingers slightly before you pulled them from his mouth and placed them down between the two of you, rubbing fast circles over your clit. The stimulation made your walls clench around him, milking his painfully hard cock. 

“Fuck, oh my, fuck, keep doing that, pretty girl, keep touching yourself for me” his command comes out in a near whimper. 

“Matt, m'gonna— “ before you could even finish your sentence, your orgasm hit you like a freight train, your thighs shaking around his waist as white hot tingles covered your entire body, you clenched your eyes shut and all you could see was stars as you came all over his dick. 

“You’re clenching me so hard right now angel, y'gonna make me cum, look at me pretty girl, please, let me see those pretty eyes” Matt rambled as his high was rapidly approaching, his pace quickening as his movements became sloppy, 

“cum inside me, please matt, I need it” you cried out, still reeling in the after shock of your crippling orgasm. 

With your pleading, he realised strings of warm cum inside you, coating your walls as he fucked his seed into you, riding out his orgasm, shaking and trying desperately not to buckle completely on top of you. 

He thrusted in and out a few more times before reluctantly pulling out, the cold air hitting his softening cock as he fell down next to you, immediately bringing you into his side and pulling at your limbs so you were lazily draped over him. 

You laid there, panting in each others arms, both trying to catch your breath as the sound of the party suddenly became more prominent from the other side of his bedroom door. “You” he said, still catching his breath, “are incredible.” He turned his head to look down at you.

“You’re not too bad yourself, Matthew” you smiled, bringing your finger to trace along his pink bottom lip. 

He watched as you admired the plump skin for a moment and with a smile, he bit the tip of your finger. You giggled and pulled your hand from his mouth, resting it on his now steady chest. 

“Can I see you again?” he asked, captivated by the way your face lights up when you laugh. 

“If you actually start coming to classes, you’ll see me all the time” you taunted him.

“Oh, I’m gonna have the best fuckin’ attendance in this whole college” he responded, pulling you fully on top of him. 

You squealed at the sudden movement and shifted to straddle his lap. You sat up, looking down at him as he tugged and needed at the flesh around your hips. 

“They’re all probably wondering where you are” you said, referring to the hoard of people in his home. 

“Fuck ‘em, they’re all losers anyway” he leant up closer to you, a sneaky hand came and wrapped itself around your neck, pulling you desperately close to his face.

“You’re much better company, tough girl” he whispered through a smile before capturing your mouth in a tender yet rough kiss.

[new-revenant]

Joker is fully aware of the fourth wall. So he should be aware how outmatched he is along with other fic tropes, so...

Joker: OUTTA MY WAY! OUTTA MY WAY! CAN'T YOU SEE HE'S GOING TO KICK MY BUTT?! *points to Danny*

Danny: Hey there clown people, nice night we're having

Harley: So you like kicking butts, do ya little boy?

And later on

Danny: I love the clown people

Harley: How many times must I teach you this lesson, little boy?

augh, I can’t tell you how much I love this. No hate to any of the great fic writers here, but I’m more than a bit burned out on how the Joker is basically killed off all the time in dpxdc. Killing the Joker will not make Jason feel better, I’m sorry. And also I’d think the Joker would become a ghost and be 10000% more of a maniac. Anyways, enough of that, onto the ask.

The Joker takes one good look at Danny, one of the hostages, and immediately tells his men to free him. Looking at that half-ghost kid gives him the creeps. So now Danny has to stand(or sit if he wants, Joker knows people get tired ya know)in the corner that is furthest away from him, turned away so he can’t see Danny’s face.

And when the Bats come in, he barely pays attention to them, just keeps his eyes on Danny because he knows that he’s more of a threat than Batsy is. The Joker doesn’t even care about the other hostages anymore he just wants that kid gone.

Then his goons end up kidnapping Danny again and the Joker dies a bit inside. He would just shoot the dumb goons, but that stare Danny has(which looks and is completely normal)has the Joker quaking in his boots. And Danny keeps getting accidentally kidnapped, so the Joker just treats him really well, offering tea and stuff. Ugh, this would be such a good The Batman episode, just the Joker being super nice and friendly and scared of just this random guy. A random guy who turns out to be not so normal.

[livelaughlovesubs]

My pretty doll

Dom!reader x sub!scara - reader is gender neutral

Warning: feminisation, lingerie, clothes sex, pegging (can be read as a dick), unprotected sex, belly bulge, dacryphilia

Dunno if you read this already, it’s from my old blog: so just a repost (was the only thing I had haha)

Scara was and had always been a brat, never listening to your commands unless he’s in sub-space. Though that was fine by you, because in the end, you both knew it will play out exactly how you want. No matter how much he tries to deny it, he was just your adorable doll after all. Which is why after convincing him, he eventually put on the set of white undergarments you bought him. The fabric was thin and almost transparent, since it was lace you could almost see everything. It felt itchy against his skin, he wasn’t used to these kinds of clothes. The bra was a bit big, or maybe he was too flat. One of the straps was hanging down his shoulder, so he crossed his arms in front of his chest. He also had a cute and small bulge in his panties, thighs clenched together after he noticed you staring.

“Of course you’d like this you pervert.” He mocked, turning around and showing you his shoulder, a pretty pathetic try to cover himself a little. First you made him wear such lewd stuff, and now all you are doing is stare? Not to mention how the loose strap was annoying him, it didn’t want to stay where he wanted it to. Even though he was still insulting you, his face was a flushed red now. Blushing furiously while averting his gaze. He was all bark after all, he could never say those things while looking at you, otherwise he’d fold immediately. “Yet it seems like someone enjoys this even more than me.” You teased while gazing up at him, until you waved him over to you.

The puppet hesitated a little, thinking about the best course of action before walking up to you. “What?” A firm and annoyed tone, a big show just to hide his excitement and nervousness. “Just wanted to have a better look at you, turn around.” “Who are you to tell me what to do?” You giggled, he was trying too hard to seem in control, but that is basically impossible when his face already looks like a mess, it was hilarious. “Come on, scara, do a little twirl for me.” He pouted, crossing his arms and looking away in defiance. Then turning around slowly, he always ends up doing what you want, so why keep making it difficult? Was it due to his pride?

When his back was facing you, you reached your hands out to grab his small waist. “Ugh?!” His body twitched, and he stopped in his track, looking over his shoulder to ask you, “What are yo-” “shhh, don’t make a fuss now.” Before he knew it, you pulled him closer to you, to the point his back was pressed against your body. Then you grind against his butt as you whispered into his ear, “can I stick it in?”

Such an indecent question! How could you- ugh, you really are the worst! “Do what you want, I don’t care.” Scaramouch said, hands grabbing your gently while he felt something rubbing against the downside of his crotch, basically making him grind on it. His breathing hitched, were you planning on..? No, no way, you two haven’t done it for so long, there is no way he could take you whole… right?

“Scara, you look adorable today, but I still think you look the cutest when getting fucked.” Ahh…what were you implying? Did you really want to..? Your fingers moved his panties to the side, not removing them, just out of the way. Enough that you could see his puffy pink hole. The other hand was already reaching for the bottle of lube. Poor boy couldn't even protest before you started preparing him roughly, sticking two fingers inside him. “MmhAa~!”He gasped at the feeling, body jerking forwards. “Oh dear, did I surprise you there?” You were definitely mocking him. He gritted his teeth, wanting to insult you. If only you didn't start pushing the tip against his entrance at that moment.

“UgHh! Ah-ahh.” His legs shook and went weak underneath him, if you weren't holding him, he would have crashed down in that moment. You were very gentle during the injecting though, taking your precious time bottoming out inside him. “Finally you learned how to shut up.” “ughh. fu-fuck you-!” Tsk, still running his foul little mouth however he wants. After many difficulties, you after managed to fit the whole length in, at this point he had his tongue hanging out and eyes rolled to the back to his skull. Like always, he was already getting addicted to this, such a dirty slut he was. “you seem to enjoy this quite a bit, scara.” You teased, and his rim clenched down on you at that. “S-Stop it, UhmM..” “Are you sure about that? You don't want me to continue?” He went quiet after that one, he didn’t know what to say. Of course he wants to keep going at it, but his pride would never allow him to give up this quickly.

You started moving because he didn't give you an answer, though only gently grinding your hips against him. “So? I have yet to hear your answer.” All it took was a few small moves for him to succumb to pleasure, “UgHhnN!! Da-damn it.. I to-old you do what you want.” At first you were still on the nicer side, after finally getting the consent you needed, you switched up to pounding him like an animal. He cried out after the first trust, gripping your hands even more tightly, until his nails dug into your skin. “AaGghhnn, oOhh! Mhm, oh-gahh!” In the matter of seconds, your lovely doll was reduced to a moaning mess. Your dick just felt so good inside him, hitting so many deep and pleasurable spots. All he felt was bliss and ecstasy.

Your chin was placed on his shoulder, looking over at his body. You couldn't help but smirk when you saw the small belly bulge on the tiny boy, commenting on it with a low voice, “do you see that right here?” Then you rubbed the bulge with your palm, he whined at that, “uhmMNN!” “Does this feel good? Having me so deep inside you?” He couldn’t even respond properly now, only squirming around in your embrace. “This belly bulge is so cute~” He heard you say. A belly bulge..? The thought of it was kind of scary, though he swore you were truly that deep inside him. Suddenly you went faster, making his muscles tense up. You just loved how erotic his body was, and how enticing it was to watch the bulge appear and disappear, this was truly your greatest joy. “GAAhh! AhhhH- cu-cumming! Mhm-ngh, i-i..!” He was on the verge of breaking now, everything was too much, the bra was hanging on his arms and about to fall off completely.

“Aww, does my baby want to cum? Then beg and tell me what a pretty doll you are for me.” Even now you were some mean to him, teasing him like this. Can't you tell how desperate he is? “GuhHh… please let me cu-cum.. hmm, please..I-I'm your aAhh.. pretty plaything!!” Right, him obeying your commands after being so rebellious just feels so good. And with that, he came while still wearing the lace underwear, soaking the panties with his semen. A slightly darker spot was visible from his bulge, then a white fluid was seeping out from beneath it. His thighs quivered while he gasped for air, his cum dripped all the way down his milky inner thighs too. Sweat was mixing with big, fat tears, cheeks redder than ever as he pulled a super adorable expression.

“My my, we forgot to take it off. Now you've defiled the lingerie set, what to do~?” You cooed at him in a faked sad manner, as if you were pitying him. A big grin spread on your lips afterwards, he knew you were planning something again. Well, you weren’t exactly hiding it after all. All he could hope for was that he won't end up too tired at the end of this session.

[lowkeyremi]

"Dada fart!" Your daughter, Miu, who happens to be a three year old that thinks anything with farts or butts is funny, giggles while pinching her little nose with her index finger and thumb.

"Rintaro that smells atrocious! Go to the bathroom!!" Within a few seconds Mui parrrots, "Dada troshus!"

There's a cat-like grin gracing his sharp face. Leave it to him to be devious and handsome at the same time.

"What are you guys talking about? I don't smell anything." It physically pains you how childish he is. Both you and Mui smell that rancid smell, he can't seriously be saying he doesn't smell anything.

"Rintaro. Don't pretend like you don't smell that." It takes extreme patience for you not to curse right now. Mui doesn't need to be taught language like that, especially not while she's only lived three little years on this earth.

"Dada smell like a stunk!" You really do wish you could find this whole thing funny like Mui does, but it smells absolutely awful.

"You mean a skunk?" She nods rapidly.

Rintaro being ever the childish man he is, runs right past you and sprays something on your clothes.

Fart. Spray. He was pranking you, and now he just sprayed you with fucking fart spray.

"RINTARO YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SH- SHIITAKE." If you thought the smell was bad from afar it's even worse up close. You curse whoever has made that horrible stuff, hoping they get a first class ticket to hell.

"Mama fart!" Since Mui hadn't noticed the fart spray she just thinks you "farted" along with her father.

"No- I mean- Dada has a spray that smells like farts." A mischievous sparkle glistens in her eyes, just like it does when Rintaro has a bad idea.

"If little kids use it though, it might burn." You make up completely on the spot. Hey if it works it works.

"I no wanna get burnded." The way she pronounces burned is absolutely adorable.

"Sorry babe." Rintaro's right behind you. He's sincere but that crooked smile on his face pisses you off. Before he can even grasp what happens you snatch the spray from his hand and start spraying like crazy.

"HOLY SHIT- that ugh- DAMN THAT SMELLS LIKE A BAG OF ASS!" His eyes widen, as do yours, once he realizes what he just said in front of his daughter.

"Bag of ass????" Sweet little Mui repeats.

"That's a no no word, Honey." She too widens her eyes. Rintaro instantly groans knowing what that means.

"Dada give Mui three paper moneys for bad words." The man in question sighs as he pulls out his wallet.

[hurtmemoreplease]

Bzzzzt.

"Hey," I said, a little hesitantly. "I don't want to pry or anything, but is something going on? Your phone has been going off all evening."

"Hmm?" My girlfriend glanced up absentmindedly. "No, it's just that butch I met last week. You remember me telling you about her, right?"

I nodded, but didn't say anything. I was a little jealous, I could admit. Things hadn't been the best between us, lately. I wasn't really feeling up to topping, and she had never really liked taking the lead, so we had stalled out a bit. I trusted her, of course, but I felt bad for not being the hard domme that she sometimes wanted me to be.

Bzzzzt.

She smiled at her phone again, then placed it face down on her desk and turned fully to me.

"Babe, I was thinking." She started, "Can I tie you up? Like, now?"

I blinked. "Are you sure? You almost never-"

"Yes." She cut me off, her gaze weirdly intense.

"Should I go shower and shave? It's been-"

She shook her head. "Just go lie on the bed while I grab the ropes and stuff?"

I gave her a look of surprise. "And stuff? Someone's in the mood."

She glared at me. I laughed and walked over to the other room, taking off my shirt and bra and tossing them over to the dresser.

I shimmied out of my pants and hopped onto the bed, taking the moment to stretch out my arms and legs.

I had barely waited long enough to feel cold when my girlfriend bustled in, her arms filled with restraints of black faux-leather and fuzz.

"Lie back," She commanded.

"Puppy," I said, and saw her visibly shiver in pleasure. "I don't want you to force yourself. What's going on?"

She shook her head and grabbed my wrist, wrapping a cuff around it and pushing it down. She clipped it to the bedpost, then repeated the process with the other arm.

I shrugged, as much as I was able. "I trust you," I told her, as much to mask my nervousness as to reassure her.

"Ugh," she said, then grabbed my jaw and gently pushed the ball gag into my mouth, my lips parting without any conscious input on my part. "Just be quiet."

The blindfold was next, and everything went dark. I felt her hand trail down my body, caressing my tits and lingering on the nipple for half a moment before twisting sharply. I gasped, and the pain stopped immediately.

I tensed, expecting another pinch, but there was nothing but the sound of footsteps. I tried to frown around the gag.

A gust of wind from the fan made me shiver, reminding me that I was very much naked and exposed.

I heard the sound of the apartment door opening, and tried to lift an eyebrow. I wasn't opposed to abandonment play, but it was a little unexpected.

The murmur of voices from the other room nixed that idea, though. I tried to imagine what she was doing, but none of the ideas jumped out. She could have been ordering a pizza? Maybe there had been someone at the door? She wasn't into netorare, was she...?

The number of possibilities slimmed rapidly as I heard two sets of footsteps approach, one much heavier than the other.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked.

"Mm, mm mmm mm?" My girlfriend repeated, her tone not quite mocking, but unexpectedly harsh.

"So," an unfamiliar voice asked, "This is the gal, huh?" I felt someone heavy sit on the bed next to me. "Sure is a cutie," she said, and her hand rested softly on my exposed neck.

Jesus, I thought, as she started to tighten her grip, ever so slightly, her hand is huge!

My windpipe was barely constricted for a second before she let go, but that was enough to have me gasping and panting through the gag, a reaction that elicited a chuckle.

"This is gonna be fun," she said, then got quieter, like she was talking to someone else. "If you wanna go get ready, I'll get started."

Breath tickled my ear, and I heard my girlfriend whisper. "I've been waiting for this alllll week."

A pair of large hands lifted my hips, adjusting them so my legs were spread and I was even more exposed.

Something cold and wet pressed against my butt, and the suddenness of the sensation made me arch my back.

"C'mon..." my girlfriend pouted. "I want to hear your noises."

"What do you think?" The butch asked, "One finger or two, to start?"

"Start with two," my girlfriend replied. "If we try to work all the way up then we'll be here all night."

Her lubed fingers slid in, forcing me open. I gasped or moaned - maybe both at once. The sensation of her fingers pushing inside me, slowly, gently, filled my mind.

"-already leaking," I heard, the first part of the conversation lost.

She started to withdraw her fingers, and I made a soft moan of disappointment, instantly morphing into ecstatic pleasure when she pulled out with a pop.

I felt my girlfriend's hot breath in my ear. "I'm such a bad dog," she told me, "I loovvvveee hearing your noises." Her breaths were heavy enough that I didn't doubt her.

"And when she told me she was lookin' for the type of woman that could break her owner in half, well..." The butch chuckled darkly. "I ain't gonna say no to a two for one deal like that."

She stuck her fingers back in me, but kept moving this time, punctuating her words by driving deep into me and making my hips buck.

"You can go ahead and start touching yourself, sweetheart, I'll tell her about the deal," she told my girlfriend, then turned her attention back to me.

I tried to focus on her words, over the sound of my puppy furiously masturbating right next to my face, and the sensation of the butch's fingers pounding me.

"See, your girl told me that you've a thing for collars, yeah? And it just so happens I've got one in my back pocket right now."

Her free hand caressed my bare neck, and I couldn't contain a moan. "But I ain't the type to let my dogs off leash." She laughed. "Just good manners."

A third finger slid in and my brain went blank.

"Back with me?" she asked, "Good. So, come morning, if you ain't interested, I walk out of here and neither of ya'll see me again. Understand?"

"Mmmm," I said, as calmly as the situation allowed.

She hummed appreciatively. "Puppy over there is right, your dumb little moans ARE cute. Now, if I can convince you before then to put this baby on, then I get both of you. Sound fair?"

"Well," she said after a moment of consideration, "Don't really matter what you think, huh. Good luck on holding out!"

[satorudoll]

Gojo saying he hates taking care of brats and then becoming the best dad ever 🤫

💌! anon, you have NO IDEA what that panel of jjk going around was doing to me. Toru literally my cutest hubby ^^

You still remember meeting the grumpy and dork of a seventeen year old manchild when you entered the Jujutsu high's hallways for the very first time.

Your most core memories of him being the ones where he used to accompany you to your part time jobs, to babysit little kids.

While the three year old would be building blocks on the ground in front of you both, Satoru thinking of himself as the sly one would try scooting closer to your side on the couch. Softly grazing your hand and closing his one over it as he'd lean in to whisper something along the lines of,

"Baby, I think this is an amazing time to makeout before this utter nuisance turns his head arou—"

His words being cut off short with the ripping cries of the three year old who'd start to kick his feet and throw all his blocks around in pure anger.

Satoru would heave the loudest sigh,

"Baby please I just need a quick peck plea–"

But you would immediately stand up in panic and lift the child up in your arms, completely falling deaf to your touch deprived boyfriend.

"Satoru I think the baby pooped! " You exclaimed, turning the little boy left and right in the air.

"ew— EW! " Your boyfriend's second signal of disgust getting louder at what you did next, as quick as Satoru was to scrunch his face in disgust, you too were as fast to shove the three year old sobbing boy in your boyfriend's face. Forcing him to hold the baby.

"Hold him tight! I'll be right back with some new nappies and wipes! "

You stormed off, not caring about the way your boyfriend was screaming in pure horror along with the sobbing baby.

"Stop—" He tried to push the baby as far away from his nose as possible, "Stop! I'll actually die if your nasty stuff gets a anywhere on my skin! " He is yelling in pure fear, as if the kid was understanding whatever he was saying.

"Oh my holy lord, Y/n, please get here fast. I don't think I have too much time left! " He is crying out for you as the baby's face gets redder, cheeks puffier and his tiny legs kicking madly in the air the longer he stares at the snowy haired guy's disgusted face. Satoru was shriveling in pure terror by every passing second.

As soon as you enter the room with all the necessary materials Satoru dramatically gasped in relief, as if he just saw Jesus himself walk in to save him from his death.

He watches you and the baby from the couch with his big blue eyes stretched wide in disgust as you are in the process of cleaning the little one up.

"They better pay you a good chunk for that" He continues to comment while continuing to curl himself up in a ball .

You roll your eyes and turn to face Satoru who looked like he was in a Lion's den.

"Why don't to try putting his diaper on? " You ask, holding up the new pair of diaper.

"No! What if that demon has some poop left sticking around his butt! "

You sigh loud, "Toru, I cleaned him well. He is fine."

"But–" He stops, seeing the way your eyes were literally judging him at this point,

"Ugh– fine! But don't cry for me when I get his poop on my hand and die on spot! "

He walks towards you both, stomping and looking all moody and pouty in annoyance. Slumping down and snatching the new diaper from your hand while mumbling a "only coz I love you too much" while still looking annoyed as hell, but you couldn't help the small smile that slips on your face while looking at how he acts no different than the three year old right in front of you.

As the baby stares at Satoru's pouty and moody face who was wondering which side of the diaper was supposed to be in the front, the little boy lets out a hearty giggle.

That catches Satoru's attention.

Satoru raises a brow,

"Oh, So you wanna get along now? " The grown seventeen year old questions, making the baby coo and kick his feet.

Satoru's pout slowly lifts into a smile at that.

"Well, You don't seem like that bad of a guy yourself. Maybe we can get along after all." He shrugs with a smirk.

"watch me babe, I just know well enough how to make these little poopers laugh." He says in confidence and you fold your arms, watching them with a raised brow and big smile.

"Here comes superhero Gojo to save the nakey baby's day! " He lets out, in the most childish playful tone, something you were yet to experience from a 'tough guy' like him up until now.

The baby bursts out in laughter, Your smile turning into a huge grin at the sight

"Superhero Gojo?? Say that again, lemme record it! " You laugh out loud, getting up immediately to look for your cellphone

"Hello? Don't try making fun of me, I'm getting into the charac— "

Oh, the baby loves interrupting the seventeen year old boy's moments for sure.

But this one seemed like straight up hate crime to Satoru,

The baby shoots his pee right at his face.

Your jaw drops down and your eyes go wide in literal shock at the sudden occurrence and you completely freeze on your steps.

As for Satoru,

Boy, he was way too deeply traumatized to move himself right away, Eyes squeezed shut tight he felt like his soul leave his body as all his limbs suddenly became stiff and completely paralyzed.

"Oh my– Satoru— " You were trying so hard not to give up everything and burst in a fit of laughter at the entire scene that unfolded right in front of your eyes.

The baby, however, seemed to be having the best time of his life, giving out the most hearty belly laughter as he finished his work on your boyfriend's face.

"Y/n— i think— I think I'm gonna lose my six eyes— I can't open my eyes—" His hands trying to reach out for you

"Satoru! You are not even trying to open them- let's wash your face!" You immediately put the diaper on the baby yourself before grabbing your boyfriend's hand and guiding his soulless body to the nearest washroom.

As you were saying goodbye to the little boy who was in his mother's arms, you couldn't help but notice how he was staring at Satoru in disgust with his nose scrunched.

You turn to take a glance at Satoru who was holding a tight lipped smile at the boy while waving goodbye. Trying to hard to not humble the baby in front of his mom.

The walk back home that day was quite, none of you really spoke. Satoru looked like he wanted to go back to his room and dive his face straight into the blankets.

You shouldn't be surprised, None of the kids you took care of really got along with Satoru. Most either ended up pulling locks of his hair or throwing their toys at his face. You don't even know why he was still so up about accompanying you every weekend.

You both pause as you finally reach the gates of Jujutsu high,

The awkward silence starting to make you feel bad for what he had to keep going through.

"Did you see how that little clown was looking at me? After I let him pee on my precious face, that too ?!" He finally bursts in utter shock.

"Satoru, I'm sorry.." you sigh, but as much as you felt sad for him you pursed your lips, concealing a laugh.

"You know — My mom always taught me when I was a kid to never befriend your enemies, Look what happened! You just can never be good to anyone these days! This is how people end up walking all over you!" He continued to rant,

as much as you were thinking he wasn't being serious, your boyfriend's tightly knit brows and fuming face told you otherwise.

"Ugh.." He grunts in annoyance before shoving his hands in his pant pockets, looking down, kicking one of the small pebbles on the ground

"This was my last straw.. I never wanna get stuck babysitting a brat ever again" He mumbles in pure annoyance.

It's been ten years since,

the image of the childish dramatic teen still so fresh in your memories, the guy who would always mumble an 'oh god, lets run' or 'another one of satan's poop' whenever you both would be out together and spot kids running in the streets.

A soft smile spreading across your lips as you pull the duvets down at the sudden burst of memories, slowly peeling your eyes open, vision trying to adjust to the big white and beige decorated bedroom.

You get up on your feet when you hear the noise of utensils clanking coming from the kitchen.

Taking small, lazy strides you walk towards the kitchen in your white oversized shirt and fuzzy woolen brown socks.

Rubbing your eyes as you pause on your steps and stare at the scene in front of you at the kitchen.

"Does my Kana like it??" You watch the snowy haired male softly question the two year old who was sat on the marble counter.

The little baby girl nods her chubby face and suddenly clasps both sides of the spoon in her tiny palms, trying to pull back the spoon that Satoru was holding, closer to her mouth, the little baby spoon seemingly containing some yogurt.

Satoru was sitting down the floor on his knees in front of the counter where your little baby was placed, The grown man was in just a pair of his checkered red sweatpants, without even a shirt on in the cold freezing temperature. All his previous scars scattered around his bare skin that ran all the way up to his face still visible well enough, One that you and your baby girl used to cry over when they were in healing process, but grew to love so much now. As you stand there and stare at them your memories took you back again to show the contrast between the once boyish dorky seventeen year old who had now grown up into the man right in front of you.

Satoru was too focused on the little girl to notice your presence, his big blue eyes staring up at the two year old who was swinging her small feet and staring back at her dad with big doe eyes.

"wait– let papa tie up kana's hair or it'll get in your mouth, baby" he smiles, giving her messy white hair that matches his, a gentle stroke. As soon as Satoru stands up, the tiny girl forwards both her hands and starts making grabby hands at the huge man.

"pa– pa! " She coos trying to reach out to him.

"c'mere my little softie" He chuckles, quickly lifting her off the counter and letting her chin fall slump on his bare shoulders, her big glowing eyes finally falls on you while she is sucking onto her thumb messily and almost drooling all over her dad's bare shoulder, Satoru who was busy looking for her little barbie hair tie couldn't seem to care at the moment.

"pa! ma– ! ma wakey !" she immediately points at you in surprise, causing your husband to immediately turn around to face you.

Your lips melt into the softest smile at your little girl's baby voice.

"morning to the best girl " you giggle, walking up to them and landing a big smooch on her forehead.

"morning honey" Your husband throws a wide lazy grin at you, his snowy white hair still tousled and messy, eyes still looking a bit puffy, signaling he too woke up not long ago.

"morning Toru bear " you smile,

he immediately leans in to try kissing you.

You try scooting away,

"Ugh, I haven't brushed yet—" you groan, trying to block his face,

"Neither have I," he shrugs with a boyish grin before stepping forward with your little girl still in his arms, proceeding to snatch a quick peck, which just slowly turns into a little kiss session.

Kana's eyes widen at the scene, and she lifts her small hand up in the air. "me– kana too! ma pa kana too! "

It makes you and Satoru pull away from each other and giggle, You both start smooching the little baby's face together who starts scrunching her nose in response.

"ma pa stink! " she immediately voices making you laugh,

"oh? no more kisses for Kana" Satoru raises a brow, starring at kana dead serious.

That makes the little girls eyes widen and bottom lips quiver before her big eyes start getting glossy.

Satoru's eyes widens at that.

"Papa was just joking! Papa will never stop giving kana big big kissies! " He tries to rock her as she continues staring at him with big sad eyes.

"ok– let's go play, let mommy wash her face! " he is about to walk away when you stop him by his arm.

"I'll take care of her, you should first go wash up" You suggest, but he shakes his head.

"I'll miss her all day once I leave for work let me spend some time" he pouts, You sigh and give a nod at that.

You watch them walk away,

standing for a bit longer at the same spot to watch your husband put the little girl who was in her cherry printed bodysuit and frilly white socks down the ground.

"it's snowingg ! " Her dad sits down the fluffy beige carpet and exclaims, pointing at the view in the window, making her looking at him with big smile,

"snoing! " she repeats after him and also pointing at the tall windows that displayed the snow covered garden with her tiny finger, before proceeding to waddle towards Satoru and climbing up on his lap to sit down on it, while still continuing to stare out at the window and swinging her little feet out of habit as Satoru starts carefully pulling back the locks of her hair, trying to tie it into mini space buns.

Your little girl suddenly looks back at her dad while practically sucking on her entire tiny fisted hand as Satoru is still doing her hairstyle.

"papa lov uh!" She innocently exclaims, throwing her tiny hands in the air, looking at him with her big round eyes, waiting for an I love you back.

Satoru's lips pull up into a big heartfelt grin.

"love you lot lot more softie" He whispers playfully making her scrunch her nose and giggle, before turning back to look outside the windows.

"papa luv kana" your baby girl continues to sing to herself while getting her hair done by her dad,

"my cutest little fairy " he mumbles to himself while continuing to do her hair.

Your heart felt so full, You got to be in heaven right now. You enjoyed every little moment they shared, hearing kana's voice in middle of the night entering your room to tap Satoru awake every time she felt scared in her room, how you will then find them both in the morning, asleep on the couch with her sprawled on his chest and drooling over it while he had his buff arms wrapped around the tiny baby but still managing to sleep soundly with her, the way you had to rip Satoru back and tell him to go get ready for work instead of cleaning Kana's snot and drool up constantly. Having to calm down Kana who would start crying bloody murder when Satoru finally gets dressed for work and stands near the doorway, waving you both a goodbye. Satoru having to always bargain with her by leaving a bunch of endless kisses all over her chubby cheeks and forehead, and also promising to watch Disney movies with her in the upcoming weekends if she stops crying when he leaves.

Oh she was definitely a daddy's girl. One that Satoru would never get tired of no matter how much of a brat she'd become. You have to hold back a laugh every time you think about how the Satoru you knew from ten years ago would react if he would have known about this information.

[iluvpjo]

HII !!

HEAR ME OUT. Charlie is definitely a thigh guy,he loveeeees to just lay on ur thighs and kiss them and theyre js so squishy and UGH.

I think he'd be very sweet in general like if you had scars (Sh or just normal scars) he's definitely kiss them and tell you how beautiful they are

REMEMBER TO EAT ENOUGH AND STAY HYDRATED !! 🫂

-🌻

𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓰𝓱 𝓖𝓾𝔂

Synopsis: Charlie being a thigh guy, basically headcanons but also not rlly ??? Idk what this is tbh

Warning(s): IT GETS NSFW! MDNI, thigh stuff, talks abt scars, talks abt sh (in its own seperate bit so ur able to avoid it, I’ll put a warning there)

Pairing: Charlie Bushnell x fem reader (could be seen as GN except for one part where he calls u a sweet girl but you can just imagine otherwise if u wish!)

Word count: 528 words

Notes: I tried to write this n tumblr closed on me n didn’t save my draft ARGH 😭 but I’m so sorry I been away for a moment.. on an unrelated note last night I dreamt abt cuddling w Charlie n omfg

ALSO I’m so sorry it’s a lil short ahhh

Come find me on AO3!

Send me a request! Here’s my req rules!

(NSFW-ish!) Charlie whenever he sits beside you will always have a hand on you wether it be on your shoulder or on your knee, or other times where he’ll be squishing you’re thigh under the table in public somewhere. He of course does this at home too, and occasionally if he feels like it sometimes his hand will wander upwards. He still likes to do it nonsexually though, squeezing softly whenever he wants your attention.

(NSFW!) He would love to kiss your thighs while laying between your legs, often using it to tease you and not touch you where you need it the most. He also gets a little distracted, the feeling of your warm cushy thighs near his face can easily make him lose time. Charlie will kiss softly at your thighs, but he will also nip them gently too between his teeth just to watch you yelp and whine.

He would definitely get super hard from eating you out, I mean just in general, but especially when you cum undone and you squeeze your thighs around his head. Fuckkk he’d be in heaven, and he’d let you know that too when he dives back in for round two and has you repeating the same actions over and over. He will do it until you tell him to calm down, but if you don’t then I’m sure he’d be going on forever and ever until something inevitably disrupts the two of you.

(Scar stuff, more specifically sh) If he noticed you had scars on your thighs he wouldn’t be quick to point them out, maybe he’d spend a little extra time kissing over the marks or trailing them gently with his finger tips if they were healed. If they weren’t healed fully though maybe he’d ask about them, cooing softly for you to talk to him about what happened to make you do it. He’d leave it if you didn’t wanna talk about it though, simply comforting you with gentle kisses and cuddles.

“Don’t look at them..” You’d say, perhaps being a little insecure about them when his eyes would linger a little too long on your thighs, and Charlie would smile up at you dumbly before placing soft pecks to them and saying “Why not? Your thighs are so beautiful.” And you’d grow a little flustered. “No, they’re not, my scars-“ he wouldn’t even let you finish the thought about them, because he’d butt in and say “Your scars are beautiful sweet girl, I ‘dunno what you’re talking about..” and then his voice would get muffled n a lil quieter as he gets lost in the feeling of ur soft plushy thighs and he keeps leaving kisses all over them, his hands gripping at them like they’re his favourite thing in the world (and they are, after you as a whole of course.)

[struwberrii]

bokuto headcanons ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

like the title says, her are my cutesy bokuto kotarou headcanons ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ (mainly relationship stuff)

know so many random niche food spots, like whatever your craving he knows the best spot to pick it up at

he talks to animals like theyre friends (they are)

randomly challenges people to races or arm wrestles to settle any dispute

loves watching cartoons, like hangout sessions with bokuto consist of getting a bunch of junk food that will for sure give you a stomach ache then getting comfy on the couch and watching the amazing world of gum ball

he has the comfiest bed ever, like ik his blanket is the softest thing you've ever felt in your entire life

loves wearing clothes with hoodies so he can just hide in them when he gets sad

loves playing video games but hes so bad at them bc hes too impatient to learn the rules so he just plays and tries to figure it out along the way

ik he gives the BEST hugs ever

i feel like as a kid he had an emotional support box that he just sits in

eats so much food but always shares with you even if that means he goes home still hungry

remembers every little thing you tell him about yourself

would literally just do whatever you ask him to and ask 0 questions 😭

sometimes he accidentally wears his sisters clothes, imagine him picking you up wearing a pink nyan cat shirt

his favorite candy is candy (literally everything)

can’t handle spicy food AT ALL

kisses all over your face

he genuinely loves everything about you <3

he knows how to treat a girl right!! ( yk he has 2 sisters they do NOT play that)

if he’s ever sad or ‘emo’ literally all it takes is you being there for him to lift his spirits again

cries at every movie, happy tears, sad tears, confused tears everything

literally SO LOUD like we already know this but if ur ever embarrassed and whispering something to him he’ll practically yell it back to you

bro cannot whisper

always brags about you and shows you off

i feel like he smells either like sweets and sugar or like literal fire like burnt if he isn’t wearing cologne

he’s not terrible with money but i feel like he just makes really stupid purchases every once in a while, like he has a sponge bob gumball machine in his house that he never uses but spent like $200 on

loves wearing winter hats with animal ears

pets stray animal on the road

butt dials people a questionable amount of times

whenever he’s ‘emo’ his first thought is to call you just to hear your voice

wants a really random pet, like a bird or little pig

whenever people are mean to him on his team he threatens to call you over to handle it 😭 (he can’t be mean for the life of him)

i feel like he’d wear uggs (not like girly uggs but like those men’s uggs with the laces yk??or those ugh house shoes w the red lining idk sorry guys)

loves having at home movie nights he looks forward to them all week

randomly sends the most heartfelt and thoughtful texts ever

literally attacks you with hugs if he hasn’t seen you for a while or after his games

farts and traps you under the covers 😭

[cosmerelists]

If Other Stormlight Characters Served as the King's Wit

As requested by anon. :)

"The King's Wit" is there to insult people in the king's stead. In this role, Hoid basically gets to stand at the entrance to feasts and make fun of people. It's a good gig for him. But what if other characters had this job?

1. The Stormfather

Stormfather (rumbling with displeasure): You have broken an oath today. Stormfather: You promised your son that you would play "Shattered Plains" with him this afternoon, but you did not. Stormfather: Though you feast for today, my storm winds shall one day scatter your dishonored bones. Elhokar (visibly sweating): Ha ha my new Wit sure is, ah, intense!

2. Kaladin

Kaladin: Ew. Another Lighteyes... Kaladin: Sniff, sniff! Smells like the exploitation of the powerless in here! Kaladin: I can name a dozen men better than you and guess what--they're ALL darkeyed. Kaladin: Nice outfit--did it come free with your ancestral privilege?  Elhokar (muttering to himself): I will not put him in jail again, I will not put him in jail again, I will not...

3. Shallan

Shallan: [sketching] Hapless Lighteyed guest: Is that...me? Shallan: It is! [shows Ideal Self portrait--it's the same person, only their sadness and distrust is gone and they shine with an earnest and honest light, looking out toward their future] Hapless Lighteyed Guest (visibly tearing up): I...It's beautiful. Shallan: Please, go ahead & take it! Elhokar: Shallan-Wit, why is everyone at my feast introspective and crying? Shallan: I'm really good at art.

4. Adolin

Adolin: Wow! You are so brave to put those colors together, and in a style from two years ago ago! Adolin: You are almost pulling it off. 

5. Dalinar

Dalinar: Hello. I could not help but overhear your heated argument, my friends. Dalinar: It reminds me of a tale from the Way of Kings, which I will now quote from memory... Dalinar: ... Dalinar: Aaaaand, they fled. Dalinar: That's the third time that's happened this evening.

6. Ialai

Ialai: [hands hapless lighteyed guest a folded-up sheet of paper] Hapless Lighteyed Guest: W-Where did you get this information about me? And my husband? And my...former boyfriend's sister's cousin? Ialai: [merely smiles] Hapless Lighteyed Guest: W-What do you want? Please! I'll do anything! Ialai: Why...nothing at all. Yet. Please enjoy the feast.

7. Lift

Lift: Mmmm....4. Lift: A solid 6! Lift: Perhaps a 5, but ONLY because of those pants. Lift: Wow! An 8! Wyndle: P-Please mistress, I don't think the job of the King's Wit is to rank the butts of all attendees! Lift: They need to know.

8. Jasnah

Hapless Lighteyed Guest: Ugh, I don't think it's right for the king to employ a heretic as his Wit! Jasnah: It's strange--one might think that your faith in the Almighty would inspire you to strive to be a good man, yet in reality your mother weeps each and every night to have produced a son who loves drinking and gambling more than he loves his children, his wife, or indeed the Almighty. Jasnah: Should you wish to inspire faith in others, perhaps you should try to demonstrate even the smallest reason why yours has produced an iota of good for anyone in this world aside from yourself. Elhokar (across the room, watching): I...am afraid.

9. Lopen

Lopen: Hey, I know you! I got a cousin in your army! Lopen: He always laughs 'bout how weird it is that your officers make the men pay for their own boots 'n' stuff 'cause it's an army not a charity, right? But then your officer son gets an allowance which is funny 'cause that kinda seems like the 'charity' thing that an army isn't! Lopen: We Herdazians tend to use a word to mean a thing, yeah? But you Alethi sure like to make a word mean whatever it is you want!

10. Szeth & Nightblood

Nightblood: Evil. Evil. Evil. Definitely evil. Big evil! Little evil, but still evil. Szeth: You've identified every guest so far as evil, sword-nimi. Nightbood: Yeah, I'm so good at detecting evil! So when does the slaying start? Szeth: I told you. I don't murder entire parties anymore. That is my past, but it does not have to be my future. Nightblood: But you're the King's Wit! You got wit-tle down the evil, right? Szeth: That is not what that means, sword-nimi. Nightblood: ... Szeth: ... Nightblood: People sure do speed up when they have to walk past us, huh? Szeth: I am pretty sure that means we're doing a good job.

[authorhjk1]

Interlude: Doctor appointment turns into bunny breeding sessions

( Kim Minji X Male Reader)

You sigh as you look around the waiting room. It has been a couple of minutes now, since the two girls left. About to stand up, you suddenly see one of the doors open.

The woman in the doorframe makes your eyes widen. Who is she?

The Korean woman wears a black jacket and a pair of shorts. The shorts almost make it look like she isn't wearing anything to cover her core at all. Her black choker and leather boots complete the all black outfit. It looks like she is also wearing fishnets, which barely even reach her knees.

"Ugh! I hate it here."

She slumps down on the chair on your left. Only now you realize she is also wearing a black top.

"How come?"

You decide to talk to her. This isn't an actual waiting room after all, which means she must live here. And that means, she is probably in on all this.

"The doctor is crap."

She doesn't even look at you as she blows a bubble with her gum.

"Which one?"

"The one with the pink hair."

She has her legs and arms crossed, while she sits next to you.

You frown. The two girls you met at the airport had brown and black hair. Whom is she talking about?

"What's your name?"

"Minji. Yours?"

"(Y/n)."

She offers you her fist and you give her a fist bump.

"Is something going on downtown?"

"What?"

You look at her in confusion.

"Is something wrong with your..."

She deliberately looks down at your crotch.

"Why would you ask that?"

"Because the doctors here are specialized in that area."

Minji blows another bubble, letting it pop loudly.

"I see."

It's silent for a couple of moments, before she asks again.

"So? Something going on?"

You ponder if you should tell her. This is still fake. So maybe you will get something out of this. You eye her from the side. Her face looks like that of an angel, although she is currently going for the opposite persona. Her black top is low cut, which means you have no trouble enjoying the view. Because the lower part of her jacket is covering her shorts, it looks like she isn't wearing any pants. Her long, creamy legs are on display.

"I produce too much.... You know?"

You glance at her face as she looks at you.

"I see."

She nods while blowing another bubble.

"And you?"

She shrugs her shoulder.

"I have this kink. Although the doctor says it's an addiction."

She scoffs, before shaking her head.

"What kind?"

You might have sounded a little too curious.

Minji ignores your question as she suddenly looks around.

"Hey, can you make sure no one comes in?"

A little surprised, you nod, before seeing Minji leaving her seat. She walks towards the "counter" before leaning over it. Her jacket rides up as she reaches for something. Her tight black shorts hug her butt perfectly, giving it a perfect shape.

But your eyes are quickly caught by something else. Black ink is decorating her left thigh, right above the back of her knee. The tattoo seems to be made out of three small butterflies.

Once she found it, she turns around, holding up her phone.

"Those idiots took it away from me. They said, I can't stop reading this stuff, but they are just overreacting."

"What kind of stuff?"

You watch Minji walking back to her seat next to you.

"I keep reading fan fiction about me. I'm a rock star, you know?"

"Oh, really?"

"Surprising, right? A sweet girl like me?"

She wiggles her eyebrows mockingly, before turning her phone on.

"And what kind of fan fiction?"

"I found this amazing story on Wattpad least year. The author's name was something with HJK? I dunno. But it was deleted. Luckily, I took a few screenshots."

"And what is it about?"

Minji winks at you.

"It's about how I get my back blown out by the reader."

You don't know how to respond to that. You are glad she keeps talking.

"I'm supposed to have a throat fuck kink, according to the story."

"And is that true?"

You are surprised at how freely she talks about this.

"Well, yeah. I like it. But that's not my favorite thing."

You see her opening her Tumblr account "timetobreedminji". After seeing her username, you are already able to guess, what her favorite thing is. Still you ask her, wanting to hear it from Minji in person.

"And what is your favorite thing?"

The Korean girl looks up from her phone to look at you. Her eyes are big and dark.

"Beeing bred."

Her eyes suddenly become a little darker as if you just triggered something in her.

"The doctors try to convince me, that I'm delusional, but that's not true. Do you know, why my fans call me bunny or rabbit?"

You shake your head. You expected another kind of name for a rock star, but you are in Korea after all.

"Because they all want to breed me."

"Really?"

You don't sound as surprised as you thought you would. Minji nods her head.

"The doctors told me, I'm fertile as hell. Perfect for breeding."

Her phone is lying forgotten on the seat next to her. Glancing at it, you read the title of the post, which she is currently reading. "Doctor's appointment turns into bunny breeding session"

(Author's note: "What the...??")

Minji looks around the room, before sighing heavily.

"Do you know how long it has been, since someone tried to breed me?"

You shake your head.

"About a week ago. I feel so empty."

By now, your dick in your pants is already hard. Forget about Yoohyeon and SuA. You have to fuck Minji first.

"Wait a minute."

She scans you up and down.

"You said your balls are producing too much cum, right?"

You nod your head hesitantly. Minji makes this roleplay stuff feel very real.

"Isn't that great for breeding?"

You should have known this question would come eventually.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the more you cum in me, the higher the chance you breed me properly."

"But I have an appointment soon."

Minji rolls her eyes in annoyance. Her rock star persona shining through.

"I don't give a fuck. Those doctors are dumb anyways. Wouldn't it help us both?"

You think about it for a moment. She is not wrong.

"You would lose some of that cum of yours and I can be your breeding bunny. That's a win-win."

"I don't see the harm in that."

As soon as you agree, Minji straddles your lap.

"Finally I'm gonna get some cum in my belly."

She whispers, before kissing your lips.

You hold onto her thighs to steady her on top of you. Her soft, creamy skin feels smooth underneath your palm.

Minji grinds on you, rubbing her center against your own. She can feel your hard cock in your pants, which makes her even wetter. As she imagines, how you would cum in her, you start to attack the flawless skin on her neck.

You immediately realize, that Minji only has one goal in mind. She already starts to undo your belt. Having sex is just a way to get what she wants. It's just a means to an end. You wonder if that's the role she is playing, or if that's actually her.

You lift your hips as you feel Minji pull off your pants and your underwear in one go.

"I'm sorry, but I don't have time to suck you off."

The Korean girl's breathing becomes faster as she reaches for your cock.

"I just need your cum in me. As soon as possible."

She let's some spit fall out of her mouth and onto your dick. Her hand makes sure that it's all wet. Still a little surprised at her speed, you are only able to watch as she lifts her hips.

"Get them off me. Please."

She sighs, while waiting for you to pull her pants down as well. The black fabric is tighter around her body as you expected. It takes a second to peel her shorts off of her. She isn't wearing panties, only a small stripe of hair decorates her lower region.

"Put it in already."

Her demands turn into whines as she waits for you to act. You guide her hips towards you, while Minji points your cock at her entrance. As she sinks onto you, you feel her snatch taking in your dick. Minji's walls have a tight grip on you as she lowers herself further.

"If I knew you were so big, I would've taken my time with it."

She sighs as you run your hands along the smooth skin of her thighs.

"I wish I could've felt these around my head."

You tease her as you squeeze her thighs slightly.

Minji sighs heavily, already stuffed with half of your cock. She leans forward, pressing her clothed chest into your face. You feel her hard nipples graze your cheeks as Minji takes a fistful of your hair.

"I'm such a needy bunny, I know."

She pushes your head further into her chest, while she slowly starts to ride you. When she Minji sinks down on you fully, her face is on level with yours. When she moves upwards, she presses your head into her chest. You take every opportunity to kiss her skin as you feel her pussy around your cock. You can feel Minji relaxing and contracting her muscles with the rhythm of her movements. She really does try her best to make you cum as fast as possible.

You wonder, how long you can hold out, not wanting to see this end too soon. You reach behind her to take handfuls of her cheeks. Minji moans into your mouth.

"Just use me, until you cum."

Before you can answer, you are faced with her black top again. When Minji sinks back onto your cock, she throws her head back, letting her hair look like a waterfall behind her.

You start to take control of her bounces, making her go a little faster. Much to her enjoyment it seems as Minji releases moan after moan.

"Make me ride your cock, baby."

Her walls squeeze you tighter, her pussy desperate to milk you dry.

"Fuck, Minji I-"

"Yes! Yes! Cum in me!"

She feels your cock twitching inside of her. You squeeze her ass harder, trying to hold on a second longer as you practically pull her onto your cock, before pushing her off again.

"Breed me! Breed this little bunny!"

You feel pain on your scalp. The result of Minji trying to hold onto her own high, wanting to climax when you cum as well.  It makes your head roll back too as you try to ease the pain.

"Give it to me! Breed me!"

"Fuck."

You moan as you finally unload inside of Minji. You hold her down, her pussy sealed around your cock tightly. The young woman shakes slightly on top of you as she feels her orgasm washing over her, while your cum floods her insides.

You open your eyes, when you finally come down from your high. Minji's chin rests on your shoulder as she tries to catch her breath. This was quite short. And yet, really good. It's evident that she has some experience. You feel your cock still inside of her as Minji slowly rolls her hips.

"Do you think you can give me a another load? Just to make sure you are breeding me properly?"

You could have said no. Maybe you even should have, knowing that the other two girls are waiting for you. And yet, you can't help yourself.

You wrap your arms around her, trapping Minji against your body. The two of you stay connected as you stand up. Although Minji is small and light it's still hard not to trip. You carry her to the kitchen counter as you feel her lips on your neck.

"Drown my pussy in cum, baby."

She whispers into your ear as you sit her down on the counter. She unlocks her legs behind you, enabling you to take them into your hands.

Minji lies down, her back pressed against the cold surface. She can feel it underneath her jacket. She is still wearing her boots and fishnets as you put her ankles onto your shoulders. You have a great view of Minji's pussy as you let your hands glide along her legs. Your fingers dance over the dark butterflies on her skin, until they reach her waist.

You see the young woman nodding. Her gaze a mixture of excitement and need.

Slightly pressing down on her belly, you almost pull out completely.

Pushing back inside, you hear her pussy making wet sounds. You push your cum further into Minji as you start to rock her world on top of her own kitchen counter.

"Oh fuck! So much cum!"

She feels your warm cum inside of her as you fuck her hard.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Minji arches her back off the stone surface. You hold onto her thighs, feeling one of her ankles slowly slip off your shoulder. The young Korean seems to interpret your actions differently.

"Yes! Put me in a mating press! Breed me!"

She moans loudly, almost shouting. You pull her further towards you, making her ass leave the surface. Leaning over her, you push Minji's legs towards her body. You start to fold her in half. Her boots reach her head and she holds onto her own ankles. You place your hands on the back of her thighs, one directly on her tattoo.

Her pleading face makes you fuck her harder. Now you are slightly above her, hitting even deeper spots.

"Fuck yes! Push your cum further!"

Minji mewls as you keep pounding her. You feel your muscles slowy getting tired as you use all your strength to push into Minji. She looks so sexy like that. Lying on her back, her ankles in her hands, unable to do anything but take your pounding.

Your thumb grazes over her butterflies. You are not a fan of permanent tattoos on women, but fake ones like these are very sexy. This one is quite small, but seductive. You wonder how Ahin would look wih a tattoo. Maybe on her back? A big one?

You lose your thoughts as Minji's pussy brings you back to reality. It squeezes your cock tightly, trying to drain you again. You feel your orgasm approaching as you fuck Minji into the counter.

"Gonna cum!"

You are surprised she cums so early, you expected her to orgasm with you again. She reaches around her anke with her left hand, covering her mouth with her hand.

Minji's head rocks back and forth along with her body as you drive her towards her orgasm.

"Fuck!"

Her scream is muffled, yet audible. Her body shakes, a little harder than the first time, as Minji cums around your cock again. It makes her pussy tighter, bringing you closer towards the edge as well.

"Fuck, Minji. I'm gonna cum in you."

"Yes!"

Her hand has left her mouth as she nods her head vigorously.

"Fill me up again! Breed my little bunny pussy! Give me baby bunnies!"

Not the usual choice of words, when someone begs you to cum in them, but Minji makes it sound somewhat alluring.

You grip harder onto her thighs as you push her legs further towards her. She is one flexible woman, taking your pounding in this position with ease.

"Fuck!"

You hiss as you unload a second time in Minji's pussy.

"Yes! Fill my womb! Cum in me!"

Her hole holds onto you tightly as you shoot rope after rope of cum into her freshly fucked pussy.

"So warm."

Minji sighs as she feels your cum inside of her. You lean over her, pressing her legs against her torso.

"I hope you stay addicted to this. I would love to breed you again."

Minji chuckles, wrapping her hands around your neck, pulling you closer.

"Wait for me after your appointment. And don't waste too much cum on them. They don't know how to appreciate it."

[shitouttabuck]

the same damn thing that made my heart surrender

buck/eddie | 1.4k | t

It’s quiet and late at the station, so Eddie can very clearly hear Buck dragging his feet across the loft from the kitchen to the couch, the sound such a specific combination of distracted and perturbed he already knows to expect the little crease between his eyebrows when he finally flings himself down beside Eddie.

“Ugh,” he says, frowning at his phone as he scrolls what seems to be Instagram.

Eddie hums indulgently, not taking his eyes off the newspaper crossword he pilfered from Hen earlier.

“Ugh,” Buck says again, much more pointed and with an additional nudge to Eddie’s shoulder.

“I’m listening. What, Buck.”

“Ever since that barbecue at Bobby and Athena’s last weekend I’ve been getting the weirdest targeted ads on my Insta,” he pouts, scrolling some more.

“Weird how?” Five letter word for estrangement, ending with T.

Buck huffs and turns on the couch to face Eddie, lifting one leg up onto the cushion and folding it under himself.

“Well, May was introducing me to her college roommate—who, by the way, was giving off way more than just roommate vibes, did you notice? Like, they were acting real cozy and she kept—never mind, sorry, not the point, what I was saying was she borrowed my phone to look up something in one of those online stores, I don’t know, I guess they’re trying to decorate their apartment with a specific aesthetic? Either way, ever since then the Instagram algorithm seems to think that I want to see—” He stops scrolling, lifting his phone and thrusting it emphatically in Eddie’s face, “—shit like this.”

Eddie blinks at the proximity of the bright screen to his face, putting down his pencil to gently move Buck’s hand back a bit so he can see properly.

On the screen is an ad for… a pale blue babydoll tee with the word BRAT screenprinted across the chest in curly pink letters.

Eddie blinks again, mind blissfully empty of synapses firing until Buck says, “See? Why does my phone think this is something I would be interested in purchasing. I mean, can you imagine?”

Eddie can. Eddie can imagine. But dear God, Eddie does not want to imagine. Because now the synapses are firing like some kind of mental train derailment of catastrophic proportions, and Eddie’s mind is conjuring images of Buck, his best friend Buck, squeezed into this skin-tight cotton tee, already tailored to be snug-fitted on much smaller bodies and so nothing short of straining at every seam when met with the bulge of Buck’s biceps, the graphic logo proclaiming BRAT probably distorted across his broad, meaty chest.

“There’s more,” Buck’s telling him, scrolling again. “Like, look at this.”

He stops on a post that seems to be selling tiny red booty shorts, the words SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOY emblazoned on the ass.

“I can’t wear shorts this short, my junk would fall out,” Buck grumbles to himself, scrolling once more for probably yet another advertisement whose only targeted goal is to ruin Eddie’s life, selling of wares be damned.

“I’m pretty sure those are women’s shorts,” Eddie says weakly, not thinking about Buck’s perky bubble butt clad in two-inch inseam booty shorts. Definitely not thinking about Buck disgruntledly tucking his dick so not to commit an act of public indecency—more so than the very donning of the shorts would count.

“Well, why doesn’t my algorithm know I’m a dude yet? If I’m being advertised this shit, at least let it be stuff I could plausibly buy for myself, you know?”

Eddie hums, only a little strangled. “So, you’d, uh, buy those shorts if they sold them in men’s sizes?”

Buck ignores him in favour of thrusting his phone at him again. “Look! This one and the next, keep scrolling.”

Eddie takes the phone from him, squinting at it. The first is another skin-tight babydoll tee, with the words GOOD GIRLS printed across the tits and the image of a swooping bird below.

“I don’t get it,” Eddie says, pausing over the post. “Good girls like birdwatching?”

Buck snorts, tips of his ears turning a little pink. “It’s a swallow.”

“Oh,” Eddie says. Then, “Oh.”

He scrolls to the next post as instructed. This one is a white t-shirt that says DON’T BULLY ME, I’LL CUM in red lettering, which—

“I’m either learning some—unforgettable things about you or about May, and honest to God, gun to my head, I don’t know which is worse,” he says faintly, tapping to the next post.

“Shut up, it’s not that fucking literal,” Buck grumbles, settling against the couch cushion more comfortably and watching Eddie scroll. “She was probably looking at some trendy Gen Z homeware or whatever and the algorithm saw the website and ran with it.”

“Mm, and you only started getting these ads after the barbecue? None of this is—your own digital footprint coming back to bite you in the ass?” Eddie grins as he passes a sponsored post for a vibrator brand.

“My digital footprint is not reflective of my sex life,” Buck huffs. “It’s not wrong, but it’s not—why the hell would I buy a tiny woman’s shirt that says BRAT across the chest?”

“Maybe because you—wait, it’s not wrong?” Once again, Eddie’s neurons stutter to an unexpected and horny stop. On the screen of Buck’s phone, his finger has halted over an ad for… jumbo-packs of lube, of all things. Eddie clears his throat. “Ooh, scandalous.”

“What?” Buck makes grabby hands for his phone.

Eddie passes it to him. “May really did mess up your algorithm. Also, I don’t know how I’m gonna look her in the eye at the next party.”

“Oh, uh,” Buck says, looking at the screen before turning off his phone. “No, that’s just. That’s just me, I think.”

Eddie wonders if his brain starting and stopping so frequently can result in permanent brain damage. He’s not sure he cares, because the resulting mental pictures—okay, some of that’s off-limits, always has been. Loving your best friend and respecting your best friend are not mutually exclusive, except, as it turns out, when you’re faced with the reminder that your best friend is having marathon anal sex with his—boyfriend, partner, whatever it is that Tommy is to him. Enough athletic and enthusiastic fucking to be getting ads for bulk-order lube on motherfucking Instagram.

He wonders if Tommy calls him that, calls him a brat and tells him he’s a good girl when he—

Wonders if Buck does like being bullied a little in bed—just teasing, Eddie would never—except it’s not Eddie, Eddie’s not involved in Buck’s love life, and what Eddie does need to do is shut down this line of thought before his strategically placed newspaper fails to hide that he’s half-hard at the thought of Buck in these ridiculously sexual innuendo themed women’s clothes.

“You’re not gonna finish that?” Buck nods to the folded crossword in his lap.

Eddie sucks in a breath through his teeth. “Uh. Sure.” He tilts the paper toward Buck, unwilling to hand it over completely. “Five letter for estrangement, ending in—”

“Split,” Buck says, nodding at the paper. “It’d fit with the P from apprise in ten down.”

“Oh,” Eddie peers at the crossword. “Yeah, it does. Thanks.”

“No problem. I’ve, uh. I’ve been thinking about it.”

“About estrangement?” Eddie asks distractedly, filling in the letters. “Four letter word for just around the corner?”

Buck fidgets beside him. “About—splitting. Specifically—me and Tommy?”

Eddie looks up at him so fast he nearly gets whiplash. His grip on the pencil falters, and it skitters across the loft floor.

“That’s—not true. We’ve already—a week or so ago. We’re still friends, don’t worry,” Buck rushes to tell him. “He just realised, like, with you and me—well, I guess he knew the whole time, but I just realised—the way that you and I—the way that it’s us—c’mon, Eddie.”

“What?” Eddie manages, hoarser than he’s heard himself before.

“Eddie.”

“What’re you saying, Buck?”

“Are you gonna make me spell it out?” Buck sighs. “If I got a pair of red booty shorts that spelled SAVE A FIRE ENGINE, RIDE A FIREFIGHTER across the ass, would that work?”

“Tommy’s a firefighter,” Eddie says weakly.

“Oh, fucking hell,” Buck mutters under his breath. “Fine, if they said SAVE A FIRE ENGINE, RIDE A FIREFIGHTER WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND AND PARTNER, would it work then?”

“That’s a lot of writing,” Eddie says, voice still faint. “You don’t have the real estate in the rear for all that.”

When Buck kisses him, exasperated groan crushed into Eddie’s mouth, Eddie knows this is the rest of it—the rest of knowing him entirely: real, endless, and with a convenient standing order for bulk-packaged lube without involving any nosy algorithms.

“Four letter word for just around the corner. Near. Soon. This.”