#ugh. idek. i really dont know how i could have been more.

[spitefularoandbi]

Thinking about that one time a friend of mine was mad that I wasn't more of her friend and I remember sitting at a table in a beer garden as she yelled at me for this and not understanding what I had been doing wrong considering she and I hung out all the time and the problem was I didn't seem like I wanted to spend time with her.

[fangtastic-vampyra]

Reaaally hate how it seems I have to be "watched" by people from the system the whole rest of my life.

It's MKULTRA MILBAS targeted individual stuff. You know the people that they go after?

Those that would stick their neck out for somebody else.

You know. Yes. So. I have to do a Stinkin' re-assessment sometime next week, ish, Im like "Im in for a life sentence. Schizophrenia gets worse when you get older. Very few people "get better" [or whatever they think] whatever that means, not understanding why I keep having to do a reassessment." I mean, I really hate Drs, of all kinds, I can take care of my Fecking self, and I want them to Bugger off in general. It was creepy asf. What is so hard to understand, stop thinking shit in my head, voices, v2k, and then, making me feel like shit with uh military, weapons? thennn tormenting me in my sleep. LIEK IF I FELT BETTER, I WOULD BE BETTER. a poisoned, drug, prescription or otherwise, filled body, with emo. pain, and trauma, and not enough healthy meals, and shit, prolly aint going to be around very long. plus parasites and what have you. I CAN BE A SCREET DR. JKKK. Just a herbal supplement recommender. :] {been studying those since I was 16, got a lot of time behind me on that particular interest, yah, thats why got me all into trouble, rebelling against norms, well if Punch Line really is my ..mm.. hear voices saying dont go out with her buut...what could i get out of it? it will probably, if i dont try, end up like harley and me, im fubar.. F.U.B.A.R.} And that? Was Mr and Mrs Smith.

And she mentions the Govt program medicaid enforces it every 6 months. I'm like nooooo. Even though I know it's fake, and thats fake, I have too much rage, to not be on meds, but I don't think they're quite ready to let me only be on one anti-"psychotic" umm Vraylar and Seroquel, are my two, and we lol we -- are doing great.

Yes Im a plural, also. DID... MPD.

Anyway-- I think I "actually am" schizophrenic.. Not just a Fake illness.. But Idk maybe it's just damage from previous incarnations. Some lady read my palms and said I was reincarnated. Neat.

Meanwhile, I've gotten into some sick sort of reminescensing/revenge thing. Prolly the first male "plague rat" -- Waheyyy. Emilie Autumn fan. They want them young, to study, and observe, if ya know what Im saying. AND. They dont like to let folks go. Once they have ya. Since these bastards, think they are some type of Woman Inspector. I dont want Pig Ass Hybrids for my kids anyway, fuck off. I am no longer young, and a Cantankerous ass bitch, and One day, THOSE Fuckers, are going to compensate me, for all my TBC, and everything else. TBC/Thought Broad Casting.

WTF..!! THEY CRASHED MY BROWSER, I HAD TYPED LIKE FIVE MORE PARA. Yes. they got access to my puter. UGH!!

WELL HOW ABOUT THAT.. AND....GAWDDAMN.

Note to self/other authors, authoresses: WRITE IN WORDPAD.

Or something similiar.. There use to be one that had a black background. White makes me feel like I got a lined loose leaf paper with no.2 in a uncomfy plastic chair. YES. UNCREATIVE. Like. In a fecking institution.

Uhm what had I said... Mum also said people get sacrificed to the devil a bunch more than most think. She's kinda uh weird. yes. Used to be into goth, and horror, and metal, when she was Younger, and witch craft, lord knows umm, now shes just, Blonde hair, blue eyes. And everything else, normal, she wants to be Barbie. IDEK, this Family wsa NOT ready. She was just another Handler, my dumb ass thought fighting, was the answer. I want to SUE the pants off MKULTRA ( and associations/etc, off them.) If you know what I mean. Abuse. Trauma. Mum says it happens to boys just as much. OHHH WELL. IDK about that. Shes just another brainwashed handler. Tho.. pretty insightful if you can actually get her to say anything. Lol we're munsters, I got out the sun synchronization, or something ugh.

Im just nursing a wound. Not caring about anything else, but trying to stop the pain. I dont uh see any point in living this way? My head is aching like someones been smashing rocks against my skull for the past hour. "Okay ill stop" Like they harass and make fun of me as AFAB UNDESIRABLE. Fat and whatever, though they did it um. And call me a he/she, they did that to. And I just uh, want to punch something in the face that something is God, Idk, until it stops moving. yes. then i can be god. >.> IDK, like whyyyy me.

Why all of this. WHYYYY.

He says we are all equal, he says his thoughts are higher than our thoughts, he says the enemies are not flesh and blood, but spirits. Yes. SAYS humans are more close to him than angels, says this and that, that we have power as humans over the animals, and the demons. idk. somethings not adding up. i think he's a f*cking rapist. celebrating the black majick curses he places onto children. a pervert, a predator. yes. i try. to calculate what is going on here, i hadnt known what i know now, i rebuke the thoughts i had as a child, the gnashing of teeth, in hell, and that, i dont want to end up there. AND? I think he's a bully. There's always been a man.. sigh.. tiresome.. voice over my shoulder harassing me.

WHAT I WANT: To be the Court leader of the Neutral guise. Or herd or pack or whatever. *LOL.*

What should my name be? Circe.

brendan used the word "blessed" in association with the amount of food we have. Im used to high quality meals, this is like, yuck, sort of. I wish I could remember shit, I want to give up. There are no plans, Im jsut saying "i want to" im tired of hurting, im tired of suffering, tired of aloneness, tired of rejection, maybe showing vulnerability will help? Why are men attacking me? Idk, i think they are scared of me.. Tbh. I will get my one desire, to be my true self. And theres nothing they can do about it." If " they try to mess it up, I have my ways.

{Wow, have the inkling of intimacy / u might be a d00d, on ur page, I MEAN, AMAB, and got scammers messaging me "hot photos" and shit lololol. Im too lazy to remove. if they're not a native English speaker, some of the messages are pretty funny...}

[organic-guacamole]

episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

[fiisheyes]

I love that you’re into astrology. Same same. I’ve done me and Liam and we would HATE each other lmaooo. Whyyy??

OKAY its been like a month but i still wanted to look over this so thanks for bearing with me (-:

im going to kinda jump between placements/aspects so this might be a bit confusing..

your mars in liams 2nd house

QUESTION are you significantly attracted to his voice.... not necessarily his way of expressing/speech patterns but like the sound of his voice the grumbles the texture the depth or whatever etc. if not then im just wrong but mars is your sexual attraction and the 2nd house rules the neck/voice..... maybe you like his neck ... or want to kiss it ? it probably means if you knew him irl you guys would b very touchy ... like you might cling to him alot or whenever he sees you hed be instantly hugging u or maybe mindlessly playing with your hair something like that yknow.. yeah

Jupiter trine Jupiter ...?

I guess i dont know for sure but it looks pretty clear... anyways cross your fingers you do have thisbecause this is a very very good placement. its like pure good fortune. harmony and u guys beinf very lucky together and when your around eachother, making eachother happy, together embodying freedom and attracting adventure. its literally The Good Vibes aspect. so good.

His venus in YOUR 2nd house

hmm alot of 2nd house like even ur moon.... interesting lots of taurus energy. neways he would probably try to woo you with nice things or tasty food. or maybe just heyy i have money (; lol. neways you guys would probably be sort of possesive of eachother not in a crazy way nesecarily but like, a sweeter i love this one theyre mine kinda feeling. like you know an unspoken kind of safety or grounding u feel around yhem. maybe he would try to provide for you .??? could just be like desperate to pick up the bill but who knows

ur pluto square his venus

ummmm....... so.. u have that intensely good aspect.. this is an intensely not necessarily bad but probably hellish and chaotic and maybe dramatic aspect. idk. ur pluto hes venus .... this is a placement to google because other people could express this more eloquently but. when you guys would first meet u guys would be weirdly drawn to eachother, probably attracted to eachother as soon as u meet.? um but Plutos you shadow self it represents karma and like raw growth idek basically imagine liam like flower petals floating around and theyre very lovely and they fall around you but you need to see and theyre in your way. and also you wish you could touch the flower petals but you have no way of gently picking them up without putting a crazy amount of effort into it ........ i dont know basically liam would be like present in ur life but you just could not deal with that like ..... I CANT EXPRESS IT BUT its like extreme attraction and wanting to intensely and intimately know everything about eachother but theres some very clear incompatibility that would take alot of work to get around . ive heard it compared to liam is a bird and youre a person who loves liam in ur life but you can only really keep this bird in a cage in your house because thats just how it is for you ,????? ugh go look this one up its intense and nuts at least you would have some drama to have fun withi

his mars in ur 4th house

he would probably be into u pretty soon into meeting just cuz hes into the 4th house /cancer energy of ur rising. anyways this is ridiculous but he is INTO the mommy milkers vibe im so sorry for saying that but its true . kill me.

neways on top of that he might cry if u guys had sex and complete 180 u might help him get over childhood trauma. in ur relationship u might act sort of motherly not in a fetish way (..unless u would want to .?) but just a subconscious taking a guiding caring role.

your mercury in his 3rd house

I LOVE THIS !! simply enough this means you guys would have really great conversations, have fun talking together and joking around, and understand what the other one is tryig to express (:

there is sooo much more in here to talk about but im getting bored so summary .... you guys would feel very close and have fun together, but deeper issues and incompatibility might make ur relationship get chaotic quick... either way itd be a adventure. lots of hugs and hed think ur pretty.

[tryworks]

things in my life lately:

- feeling always bitter how no one really likes me except maybe 3 people and people never invite me to do things or anything. like my school does a mock beauty pageant for boys (think like a standup talent show satire of ms america) and one of my friends did it and he didnt ask me to be in his set. sigh.

- might be developing a crush on a boy who used to be my best childhood friend. we then had a falling out and he moved to a private school. now hes back at my high school. con: i am unlovable. also, i am going to college in 3 months. pro: he is going to a college which is a 10 minute drive from mine. also i really like just hanging around him and talking with him and hes surprisingly patient with how fucking weird i am LOL.. .um.. idk 😐 help me. hes funny. hes not that cute but its ok

- have genuinely no motivation for anything anymore. i keep leaving school when i have free periods and just not coming back.

- 76% sure one of my friends has a crush on me and while hes a fine friend i have No romantic interest in him at all (coming from someone who like... flirts with friends a lot as a joke...) and its just annoying. sorry man.

- A GIRL I HATE IS SITTING AT MY FUCKING PROM TABLE and she didnt ask ANY OF MY FRIENDS for permission WHEN ITS LIKE... ASSIGNED SEATS YOU CHOOSE BEFOREHAND. UGH. NO ONE LIKES HER!! I HAVE NEVER BEEN LIKE... ANYTHING MORE THAN COURTEOUS TO HER when i am known for being like really nice and friendly. and with her im really cold. so why does she think my friends like her

- i wish my family could talk to each other normally guys i cant do this... we all treat every conversation like a competition or a standup...

- i have given up on ever transitioning and im considering keeping my birthname for conveniences sake. idek if ill change my last name to my mothers maiden name. like 1) my family is so so transphobic and 2) i dont... really have the ability to transition as an nb person to my ideal gender presentation and 3) i want. people to know who i am. like people from my school childhood etc and changing my name defeats that. and please dont be like “dont live your life for other people” i have tried not living for other people and it does not help. this is who i am.

- wish i was a normal high schooler with a group of friends i wish i had any real life experiences i wish i got asked to prom i wish people cared when i wasnt around i wish i was worth more than just someone you keep near you to make you laugh and be the butt of jokes oh my god

[mangomochi-yn]

[pretty setters tie your hair]

all of haikyuu’s pretty setters x reader

g. v self indulgent fluff wc. 9-12 bullets/ea

contains. sugawara k., kageyama t., atsumu m., oikawa t., semi e., akaashi k., shirabu k., kenma k.

sugawara

starting with this sweetheart ✨

will use pink or baby blue elastics!!

yknow that one mom that does rad hairstyles but you can literally see the child’s scalp?

yeah thats him

he’ll do like a two half ponies that meet into one big pony

but then you feel like your hairs gonna rip off 💀 (yeah this for sure won’t come off throughout the day)

you don’t have the heart to tell him cause he looks so satisfied and happy with tho so 😔

but bear with it and he’ll give you a sweet smile and kiss to your (now very clean) forehead!!

all in all 8/10 and a hug where you nuzzle his neck (hard enough to loosen some strands hopefully) 😁

kageyama

😬 awkward baby!

very very hesitant when you ask and is for sure like nah no thank u

but a few pouts and puppy eyes and he’ll give 😉

and boy suprise suprise!!

he’s actually decent

pretty good actually 👌

(maybe cause he has a big sis that he might’ve seen tie her hair a few times)

so he would’ve been perfect even but alas... the boy’s awkwardness degrades it a bit

this boy he literally avoids touching your neck for some reason

and ur like wat

so 7/10 dont forget to give him thank you kisses 😘

atsumu

ugh love this man but bitch right of the bat 2/10 and maybe a punch to the face 👊

this boi is the devil i tell ya

“eh? ya can’t even tie yer own hair? lol what a scrub”

“fuc u tsumu it’s supposed to be cute” 😠

so. many. loose. ends.

and you don’t even get how cause hes so harsh??

he accidentally tugs your ear and laughs as he “apologizes”

clowns you so much too sayin your hair strands look fat 😪 (like not thick but fat)

literally you look like a clown in the end

and you didn’t even know you could look that sloppy

oikawa

then we have pretty boi... 🙃

could’ve been a solid 7.5 but bitch

does the u g l i e s t hairstyles

(you should’ve known when he agreed so easily and excitedly)

like boy you really do your own hair so nice but no justice for me?? where is the love..

says he’s “experimenting” 🤦‍♀️

and uses 15 different colored elastics and makes you look like a sprinkler (little did you know he was going for an alien look)

like his ties were actually nice and neat but cause of the ugly hairstyle they end up messy and youre just agshdhshshd

laughs manically the whole time 😑

6/10 and a harsh pinch to the waist (boi even had the auDaciTy to complain when u re-tie it)

semi

this babe 💔

he’s... not very good

but does his best!!

gets a bit frustrated too cause like when a strand falls and he goes to pick it up another that was already in his hand falls and hes like 😠 ??? (that one pout he makes)

(so maybe dont ask him again cause poor thing)

(he ties with his fingers wide open like he tryna toss your head or sumn)

compliments a lot tho so you’re like 🥺 ily

“your hair’s really soft babe” “your shampoo smells good too” ughh big phat uwu busted 💕

takes his time choosing the cutest accessory to make up for how its.. not looking too nice

so 6/10 and his fave tuna rolls cause baby deserves it!!

akaashi

ah. here he is

the perfect one™

basically suga but so much more gentle

no hesitation when you ask him too (mama im in love 🥰)

styles aren’t too intricate unlike suga so theres that

theyre v simple but like he still makes them so nice

and the way he softly threads his fingers as he brushes your hair to untangle them before starting?? 😭

idek what else to say man is perfect just 💍

smiles softly when you turn around to face him

so yes 10/10 and my whole heart forever thanks 🙏

shirabu

ma big brains boy 💜

tough part is to get him to do it

he’ll literally sneer and youre like 🙂 bitch

so bug him some more and he’ll give (or if you pretend to ask someone else lol)

then youre ready for the tugs and pain but actually you’re met with... pure gentleness?

👁👄👁 “r u starting already?”

“uhm yeah duh”

soft touches here and there and you literally melt

(sometimes u think he’s being a lazy tease but nah he just doesn’t wanna hurt u)

sadly though this makes it a bit sloppy but like the experience by itself was just👌

try to ask him to redo it and he’ll just roll his eyes

so 8/10 do not ever try to redo it yourself cause if you do he will never do it again after

kenma

ashdhfjskkl lastly our bby boi!! 🥰

lemme tell u 9/10!!!

baby boi has long hair himself so he will be good!

has perfected the messy but cute and effortless look

(cause that is literally him— effortlessly cute)

only tough part is finding an opportunity to ask him

like he won’t say no but whenever hes gaming (aka 24/7) hes just so 🥺 how do you interrupt that

so ya gotta wait till hes walking back from the bathroom or something!!

and he’ll be like oh okay sure

very nimble and soft movements

though it ends too quick cause boy knows what hes doin already 😔

overall, anytime you get him to do it is a blessing in itself. a literal slice of heaven. so never take it off

a/n. all these boys are all the dream boys just saying and i would gladly sell my soul to have hair my tied by any one of them thanks

[potterology]

fave dylb scenes bc I can't get over and I’m already rewatching and noticing little things heheee 

- first meeting outside the restaurant. ohh how I love how awkward yet endearing they both were when they finally introduced themselves to one another. rewatching it made me realize that JY was already smitten by SA since the start. (like literally since the start y'all!!! he didn't even know her yet and wanted to stop the car to get SA an umbrella and this was in the first ep!!)

- when JY switched coffee cups with SA bc she spilt her cup and he started drinking it so she can’t refuse even though he doesn’t like coffee. Like he just did it bc he was compelled to do so?? like dude what if she already drank from it??? This scene was so funny to me and I love it cuz I dont think SA is used to being the one taken care of like that so it was just v cute

- when the noona was trying to get them to talk banmal but SA was like oh noooo he’s a superstar. This was cute bc you can actually see that JY was disappointed. Also they keep sneaking peeks at each other lol cute fools 

- waiting for taxi scene- this was so freaking adorable. shows how considerate they both are for each other and it’s so freaking awkward when they both realized they were standing there waiting for each other to get a taxi- but like in the cutest way

- when they were both outside that restaurant and SA asked if JY enjoyed his performance at granny’s house and I think this was the first time someone asked our boy if he likes what he does for a living and you can just tell his heart went soft for her(same dude same)

- spontaneous non-date date. ohh I love the first time they ate together at that beer place. they really started to get to know each other there. the mood and how that scene was filmed was just chef’s kiss~~

- rehearsal room we should be friends scene. when homeboy transitioned from moonlight sonata to happy birthday, y'all knew it was over for SA- god damn I would have swoon over too

- by the river “I wanted to see you” scene- high key JY sucks at communicating but I love how he is just so taken by SA that he just flat out says he misses her and as soon as he says it he was almost shocked himself. so pure

- the midnight call. I MEAN. guys. guys. he wanted to just talk to her and ask her out but tried to be nonchalant about it. ahhh they literally portrayed the first stages of dating so well I'm goo for it !!!!!!

- first walk together in the walkway. this was just so adorable. the almost hand holding. the chemistry!! the shy smiles :’’’) 

- SA’s birthday when she thanked JY for just being there for her. I love how she quietly acknowledges him and it was such an intimate interaction between them. I replay that scene a lot in my head

- when he ran to SA to give her his signed CD. He was so worried about her he forgot about JK lmaooo. Also the fact the he validated her as a violinist when SA was at a very low point... I mean... boyfriend material ugh

- the scene when SA told JY every little thing he does concerns her and that she didn’t want to feel that way about him anymore. As soon as SA said that homeboy PANICKED!!! I don’t even think he knew how much he liked SA until she said that :’)

- the lunchroom scenes 1) when they were teasing each other and 2) when JY announced that they were dating lolol I love how stoic he normally is but for SA he becomes a softie hehe

-ice cream day date; lol when SA won’t let JY tie her shoelaces bc she didn’t want to fall for him lol ok girl

-night ice cream/ stairs date. y'all know already. shit was just adorable. SA going for the kiss. I melted with the ice cream

- when JY asked SA for her handkerchief!!! it’s such a small gesture but they both knew it had a special meaning and I love how it put SA over the moon. (Also let’s include all the other times we see JY actually use that handkerchief- especially after they broke up. like homeboy was holding on to it for his dear life bc it was the only thing he had of SA~~ my fragile heart!!) ps did we ever see SA get a handkerchief from him???? No??? Sbs give me that pls

- when MS was telling JY in the car that SA has only openly confessed liking two things in her life and one them was JY. He was so flustered and couldn’t hide his smile and dimples... bruhhhhh he was full on swoon. Also when JY heard SA say that she really likes JY like he was so proud of himself lmao he’s like “yeah my gf LIKES ME” lolol

- when the lovebirds fought who was gonna clean up the broken glass at JY apartment. I love loveee this one bc SA has been beaten down so much by everyone calling her talentless that she didn’t even consider how important her hands is to her as a musician. And JY being like honey ur a violist and a musician too- UR HANDS ARE PRECIOUS. This was just v touching. Again showing how JY has always considered SA as an equal despite all the shit people say about his gf. luv him :’)

-all the moments JY just stood by SA’s side and held her hand when she needed comfort. I love how he’s just there for her. His silent support was just enough. (One thing that would have been nice is if we saw SA do the same thing, I felt like the writers were almost there but just didn't go all the way which is a shame tbh)

- Their lil day trip to JY’s hometown. I like how JY was so open to SA here. When he proclaimed that he never felt “this way before”  I screamed!! It was at that moment you clearly knew as a viewer that JY never really loved JK. He might have he loved the idea of her, yes. But he never truly loved her the way he loves SA. And his realization of this in that particular episode just made me so so so happy

- Handholding in the bus scene. That shit was so freaking tender bc you can tell how content JY was. He was beyond smitten- homeboy was IN LOVE AT THIS POINT

- when JY dropped SA home. I mean everything about this scene really makes ur heart soft right?? How both of them were beaming? How SA feet probably hurt bc homegirl was wearing heels the whole day and walked another 30 min just so she can spend more time with JY? How she literally ran back to him and JY just had this impression watching her like “my gf is cute af”?? How SA said something along the lines of JY having somewhere to belong to now and you can tell this had a double meaning for him bc at this point he prob considered SA as his home..I was literally mush oh my god. 

-break up scene. I know, v painful- but this was a rare one in kdramaland where I actually thought it was necessary for them to split (still wish it was done earlier but alas I'll take it) It was a graceful and needed breakup. Also when JY pulled out that umbrella for her.... bish it was over for me

- SA’s recital. I MEAN HOW IN SYNC COULD THEY BE. I normally skip the musical performances whenever I watch dramas that are music related- but this show makes it so magical I simply could not. PEAAAKKK ROMANCE

- JY’s recital- when he played that last song I was a big mess cuz we all knew it was dedicated for SA :’’) (I listen to this piece all the time now and im so emo when I hear it bc like god WHEN)

- First I love you scene. JY just going for it and chasing his happiness without caring if SA might reject him. We love to see it

-Second I love you scene. YALL. YALLLLL the way JY just releases his breathe when SA said she can't be friends bc she loves him more than a friend will forever slay me. Kim min jae’s acting here was real good. I love how JY said I love you four times and just went for it. top kissing scene in a krdrama for me hehee 

- dubokki date. lmao at JY with the spicy level. just plain cute

-the quick side by side peek to JY new album in the last episode. the way it showed how their relationship evolved. how he signed it as “for my love song ah” BISH I WANNA DATE A MUSICIAN TOO NOW

- that lil scene where JY wrote SA’s name as the planner bc he knows she works just as hard as the musicians and deserves the recognition. get u a boy who will vandalize a program notice for u :)

- basically all the scenes at the end of ep 16. I wish all of them were longer. I wanted to see more of them dating and happy!!! But I just love how they are both so INTO each other and you can see how happy JY is bc he finally has that person back that understood him since the beginning and it makes you feel so warm knowing they’re each other’s support system ahhhh I love their love !!

- also just all the scenes that JY looks at SA lovingly ~~ which literally happened since ep 1 I mean they are literally heart eyes emoji for each other every time :’)) 

- oh oh OH special shout out to ep 11 when JY just can’t stop holding SA’s hands !! the way he does it is so freaking INTIMATE like if I can only describe how I feel whenever I see compilation gifs of that episode where JY just reaches out and holds SA’s hands so steadily and tightly...it’s literally the most heartwarming thing.. idek how to explain what I’m trying to convey but I just vibe with it so much?? it’s so intimate and romantic.. Kim min jae I will die 4 u my love

[roundedloaf]

Vina Jie-Min Prasad's writing is SO GOOD, yes! She also has a short story in Uncanny called "Fandom For Robots" if you haven't already seen that one! And now for some mood whiplash, I'm just going to copy and paste in my original 10% of a fic idea that I had started writing in the tags: yes, give Three a hobby! And cooking has recipes to follow so it's even like having protocol. oh, but wait, SecUnits can't eat, so Three can't enjoy the food (1/?)

((2/?)  it makes, and I made myself sad about this concept I have known about for all of 30 seconds :(. but wait, I feel like it's implied at the end of the book that Three goes with the PreservationAux humans, so it could cook for them! and then Murderbot comes back to visit, and it is very definitely not having an emotion about its humans being all endeared to Three and Three's cooking and no, Amena, it definitely is not jealous it doesn't know what you're talking about anyway it's going to go

(3/3) patrol the perimeter now while all the humans are busy with dinner because it doesn't need to be there because it doesn't eat. And okay Murderbot has certainly emotionally matured over the whole series, and over the course of NE specifically, but also, consider: making it have New Baby Syndrome about Three amuses me, so sometimes you gotta gently nudge canon to get it to do what you want. Anyway I hope you enjoyed that long ridiculous ramble!

First off sorry for taking so long to respond! I had a lot of thoughts about this and uni has been a whole mess :(, secondly I have read “Fandom for Robots“, i love it so much and I didn’t realize it was by the same author!  

Thirdly onto Three, I have a lot of feelings about three and i love your idea!

Three is far more the sort of sad robot that Mensah and the rest of the humans were expecting Murderbot to be. Murderbot even from the start of ASR has a very clear sense of identity and individuality. It’s had the time from watching media and thinking and having to directly deal with a whole load of emotional pain. While it doesn’t really know what it wants, it at least knows a lot about what it doesn’t want. It doesn’t want to be looked at, It doesn’t want to be trapped, It doesn’t want other people to decide what’s good for it.

Whereas with Three, the clearest idea we get of who it is and what it wants is through the line “There is a lot about what is going on here that I don’t understand. But I am participating anyway.” Three hasn’t had the chance to build up any real internal identity for itself, all it knows is that it would like to help people (the other two SecUnits included). It is far more likely to accept help when offered, it is more likely to attempt to learn human protocol through trying it out. If given the same offer as Murderbot at the end of ASR it would take it.

I think also it’s still fairly unlikely to want to ask questions or to ask things of people. It was able to ask Murderbot for additional files, but from the sounds of things it took quite some time to work up the nerve to do that.

So after the end of Network Effect, it takes everyone quite a while to get everything sorted out, murderbot takes its time getting close to Peri’s crew, but eventually, possibly after a pit stop at preservation, murderbot goes off with ART and Three is on Preservation.

Amena is the person who insists on Three staying with her family. Ratthi offers, and so do Overse and Arada. Three gets a choice. This is important. Mensah and maybe someone else idek makes sure it knows that it has a choice, and that it’s welcome to make another one later if it doesn’t want to. (Three finds this confusing, but the HelpMe.2.file lets it recognize that this person can be trusted). But Amena seems very excited and tells it the most details about her home, so Three goes with her.

(sidenote: ratthi lives next door to overse and arada, and overse and arada are totally the friends who just show up on the couch, to the point that a number of ratthi’s friends get confused when they realize that theres only one bed because they know that the three of them arent all together (the times murderbot stays over it sleeps on the couch))

If i was going to write a fic, this is where it would start. Three is at the family farm, the very place Murderbot didn’t want to go. Mensah and Thiago are still busy dealing with some stuff, so the only person there who actually knows Three is Amena. Three is very confused, and i think a few of the humans try to treat it like murderbot? or how they think murderbot wanted to be treated.

(The children are of course excited, and ask it if it wants to share media. It doesn’t have much to share but at least one of them tries to share their favorite show with it.)

Anyway things are a bit awkward but Three is trying, and they’re all trying, The actual inciting cooking incident is Amena making something for a potluck, because tying in the social side of cooking/food is important. Amena gives an explanation of what she’s doing and attempts to give more of that social background on it. She also tells it that its welcome to use whatever in the kitchen if it likes? (Amena is aware that secunits dont eat, but either she’s distracted, thinks they dont need to eat but can, or is more trying to give an introduction to the way food works as a part of preservation culture)

Three takes her at her word, and when no one else is around it attempts to cook. Options: either replicating what amena made which gives the fun idea of it making cookies and then everyone thinking it was Amena, or attempting to make something else and making a total mess, having to entirely start over, just for the humor part of it. But when it starts to make halfway decent food (by it’s own confused standards) I think it leaves it out, or in areas that are known to be marked as communal food.

It’s a big family so maybe it takes a couple of days for people to notice that it’s Three cooking this extra food. There’s a bit of confusion, and I think its Farai that ends up talking to it, making sure this is okay, that it knows it doesn’t have to help, that its okay to cook when people are around, etc etc. Point being, at the end of this conversation she offers to cook with Three, if it wants to.

Smash cut, cute scenes of three occasionally cooking (and being taught how to cook) by farai and the kids and maybe even the other adults around. (a couple of times there are too many people in the kitchen and it freezes, they give it space when this happens). Three gets multiple checks from people that cooking is something it wants to do, rather than something it feels obligated to do.

Murderbot is incredibly confused when it gets back and this is happening. Like for a moment its offended because it feels like someone is forcing three into a more bot servant role, and is yet another person checking in with three about this. There is a bit of jealousy there, that Three seems to be interacting with the humans a lot better, but i think it’s more confusion. This is a person that Murderbot could never be, and frankly doesn’t want to be. It still wishes it was better talking to people but that would involve, ugh, talking to people. By the end of Network Effect i think its comfortable enough in it’s friendships to not worry so much about anyone replacing it. Plus i think the sort of relationships Three would build through this would be different to the ones murderbot has built.

(jeesh this got long)

[kulabutterfly]

Joy Package: Cabin By The Lake (M) PJM

Joy package are stories that consist of 3 main characters which are Seokjin, Jungkook and Jimin. They were in a band called Black Swan, Jimin as a vocalist, Seokjin as their guitarist and song-writer, Jungkook as their basist.

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Synopsis: It’s been a month since you dated Jimin and he invited you to join him and his band mates for a retreat.

A/N: Idek if people would actually read this or nah but this is kinda the first time I tried to write something and I’m soo sorry for all the mistakes. Also you can read: Joy Package: Toxic What?

It’s been a month and a week since me and Jimin started dating. He was my first ever boyfriend and he was so sweet and every time I’m with him, it’s like, I’m in the cloud. I’m so happy I could die.

“Minjoo-ya, is it weird?” Minjoo was eating her cereal very slowly, daydreaming about I don’t know what.

“Bitch!” I called out for her again and she jolted.

“What?” She groaned annoyingly.

“It’s like a month since I dated Jimin, and we still haven’t kiss yet.” I pouted as I sat on the chair in front of her.

“No shit, I thought you guys have fuck?” She laughed, “You’ve been so annoying and act so lovey dovey. How are you guys still not kissing yet?”

“We’re shy. Also, I don’t know if he’s up to that.”

Minjoo pursed her lips awkwardly, and whispered even though no one’s there to listen, “run bitch.. run..”

“I love him for who he is!! It’s okay even if we won’t kiss.” But I wonder how Jimin tasted like…

“Whatever floats your boat, girl.” She stood up and took away her empty bowl of cereal to the sink.

I felt a vibrate on my hands, it was Jimin texting me. I automatically smile as I read his messages.

Jiminnie💓: Baby

Jiminnie💓: Me and jin hyung decided that we should go for a retreat for our band

Jiminnie💓: you know, like an MT

Jimminie💓: do you want to join us?

Jiminnie💓: pls say yes 🥺🥺🥺

Jiminnie💓: everyone’s bringing their girlfriends

Jiminnie💓: u should invite minjoo too

Jiminnie💓: cause jin hyung would be alone and i dont want him to disturb us

Jiminnie💓: baby where you attt?

Me: im hereeee

Me: sounds fun! I never went to an MT before

Me: okayy i’ll ask minjoo too when is it??

Jiminnie💓: this saturday

Jiminnie💓: pls say youre free 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Me: hahaha yes im free

Me: but idk abt minjoo

Me: i’ll ask her!

Jiminnie💓: okay baby! 

Jiminnie💓: imma go practice!

“Minjoo-ya” I turned to look at the kitchen sink and she wasn’t there so I stood up and looked around.

After wandering for a few minutes I saw Minjoo on the balcony talking on the phone so I guess I’ll just ask her later.

“Ssup.” Minjoo says as she flopped on the couch beside me.

“Who’s calling you?” I asked, shove a grabful of popcorns inside my mouth.

“Taehyung.” She shrugged. “Ask me to follow him to somewhere.”

“Somewhere where?” 

“I don’t even know.” She answered short.

“Oh bish, Jimin invited us to join him for a retreat.” I turned to look at her, my eyes glowing.

She looked at me weirdly, frowning. “Me too? Because?”

“Because you’re my best friend and he doesn't want you to be alone on the weekend.”

She faked a smile, “aw what a thoughtful boyfriend you had.” And rolled her eyes. “Thank you for the offer, but I really don’t want to be a third wheeler.”

“Noooo you won’t be! Seokjin will be there too.” I pouted, “Minjoo pleaseee.” 

“More reasons for me to not go.”

“What? Bitch, it’s Seokjin. He’s single.”

“So what? No! He’s going to think I’m a freak.” She sighed, “also, I’ve promised Taehyung I’ll follow him.”

“What?? Nooo. Going where??”

“His bandmates rent this cabin by the lake or something.” She shrugged.

“Taehyung was in a band? Since when?”

“He just got accepted last month. As a drummer.” Minjoo says as she scrolls her phone. “Have fun with Jimin, bish.” She then smirked. “This is probably the time.”

“Bish…” I whined, “I can’t do this without you. I’m nervous. Cancel on Taehyung please? Come with me instead.”

“Bitch what the fuck? Don’t be disgusting and go find some cute undies!”

Jiminnie💓: Baby, you ready?

Jiminnie💓: we’re outside now

Me: oh yeah I’m coming!

I grabbed my luggage and ran to the entrance door, “Minjoo!!!! I’m leaving! See you on Sunday!!”

As soon as I reached the lobby, my eyes wandering looking for Jimin’s car.

“Baby! Here!” 

Oh my God. He’s so shining, I’m going to be blind. I jumped happily as I walked toward where he was.

“Good morning!” I said as soon as I saw him. He opened the door for me and we both sat on the back passenger’s seats.

“Morning, baby.” He said and kissed my cheek slightly, making me blush. It’s been like 5 weeks since our first date, we’re still on early stage so a simple action like a kiss on the cheek could still make my heart beat like crazy.

I noticed Jin sitting alone in the front and I whisper to Jimin, “Is it okay if we both sit at the back? How about Jin?”

“I wanna be with you now,” he pouted. “He won’t leave me alone when we reach the cabin later.”

“We’re going to the cabin?” I asked Jimin and he nodded.

“Yeah, Jin hyung’s cabin. It’s so pretty, baby. And it’s by the lake.”

“It’s Jin’s cabin?”

“I mean, it is his parents’ but they rented it out for whoever wants to chill there. Don’t worry. I’ll make sure we get to stay on their master.”

The journey to Jin’s cabin took about 2 hours. We don’t really say anything. Jimin fell asleep about an hour later, his head leaned on my shoulder. He was so cute and I can’t stop looking at his little pout as he slept.

Jin was quiet as usual. Sometimes he would yawn and sometimes he would sing very very quietly. To be honest, I don’t know why he’s single. Well, he’s not as hyper as Jimin but he’s very good looking and I could tell that he’s nice. Ugh, if only the blind date could work out between Minjoo and Seokjin. She’d be here with us now!

We arrived at the cabin about 2 hours later, and just like what Jimin said, it was so beautiful. The lake is so clear, the porch was so cozy, and the inside was absolutely amazing. It was very very spacious and Jimin managed to get us to stay in Jin's master bedroom. He was so fast, like, as soon as we arrived, he grabbed our luggages and just shoved everything inside the bedroom. Seokjin just rolled his eyes and put his luggage in the second bedroom, near the living room.

While waiting for Jimin’s other friends to arrive, me and Jimin chilled in the living room, watching some cartoons. Seokjin was sitting on the couch near the entrance door, probably writing some lyrics.

Spending time with Jimin makes me happy but at the same time, I was nervous cause this is the first time that I’ll be meeting Jimin’s friends. Well, other than Seokjin cause he was there during me and Jimin first meeting. Other than him, I don’t know anyone. What if they don’t like me? What if their girlfriends gang up and decided to just outcast me or something? Ugh, if only Minjoo and Seokjin liked each other!

I heard someone coming from the porch and Seokjin went to get the door. After not less than 15 seconds later, I heard gasps and Jimin got up to see who it was.

“Minjoo?”

“Seokjin?”

“Wait, you guys know each other?”

I squinted to see clearly and what the fuck? “Minjoo?!” I gasped. “Bitch! What are you doing here? I thought you’re with Tae-” I turned to look at her side and saw Taehyung looking at me too. 

“Eh? Minjoo’s housemate?! You’re here too?” Taehyung said as he saw me. “Oh my God, you’re Jimin's new girlfriend?!”

“Shut up, Tae!” Jimin and Minjoo said simultaneously and Taehyung pursed his lips. 

“Bish, I’m glad you’re here.” I whined as I pulled Minjoo inside and hug her. “I didn’t know that Taehyung’s your boyfriend.” I say as we both flopped on the couch at the living room.

“He wasn’t! I told you, he wanted me to go with him cause all of his bandmates are going to bring their girlfriends along.” She rolled her eyes, “Where’s Seokjin’s girlfriend?” She whispered.

“Well,” I shrugged, “you were supposed to be his girlfriend, but oh well.”

“Bitch what the fuck he don’t even like me!”

“Minjoo, you don’t even know that.”

“Oh yeah? Then what makes you think you know that?” she raises both of her brows.

“Just a feeling.”

“Feeling my ass.”

As we were talking, Taehyung, Jimin and Seokjin were in the kitchen, preparing for lunch. Jimin told us to just sit and do nothing and that they would prepare for everything. We both heard a noise outside, and we figured that must be Jungkook. Minjoo walked to the entrance door upon hearing someone stepping on our porch and I followed her from the back.

“Jungkook’s here?” Taehyung asked out of nowhere and I nodded. He then proceeded to follow me from behind.

“Jungkook-ah, what takes you so long-”, Taehyung says as Minjoo open the door, “Miss B?” He frowned as soon as he laid eyes on Jungkook’s girlfriend. Minjoo and me were speechless as we just stared at the girl.

“What are you guys doing here?” Hyewon questioned us, she removed her sunglasses.

“You guys know each other?” Jungkook looked at us and Hyewon back and forth.

“Holy pineapple! Minjoo, I’m scared.” Taehyung tapped on Minjoo’s shoulder and she rolled her eyes.

“We’re roommates,” Minjoo says and Hyewon shrugs.

I finally came into my senses and pulled Hyewon into her embrace and hugged her, tightly! “Yay! We’re all here! Oh my God!!” She screamed. “This is the best MT ever!”

“Wait,” Hyewon pushed me away and looked at Taehyung, “What’s Miss B?”

Taehyung shrugged while pursing his lips, and quickly ran off to the kitchen making Hyewon roll her eyes.

Most of us just sit around and chat. Me and the girls talked a lot while they guys were outside doing I don’t know what. It’s mostly Jimin forcing Taehyung and Jungkook out, playing badminton or volleyball. I don’t really care.

Seokjin was inside though, he’s at the kitchen, writing on his notes. Probably lyrics. 

“Minjoo, bish, why don’t you go and talk to him?” I move both of my eyebrows up and down, grinning.

“Why the fuck would I?” Minjoo says, rolling her eyes.

“Come on, Minjoo. He’s so hot and single.”

Hyewon scoffed, “Jin is hot and single. But he’s not available.” she shrugged.

“You know him that well?” I asked Hyewon and she nodded.

“I mean, I’ve known them for like 2 years? But damn, Jin was hard.” Hyewon says, “He has a lot of admirers but accepted none of them. I bet he’s a virgin.” She laughed.

“Jimin? Do you know how Jimin was before?” I asked and she nodded.

“Well, partly.” She shrugged. “I know that his ex-girlfriend cheated on him for some other guy.”

“What?”

“Jimin’s a nice guy. Don’t worry. He may be a little bit too hyper so sometimes he’s kinda annoying, but oh well.” She shrugged again.

Seokjin cooked us bolognese for dinner and it was so good. Reminds me of my hometown. We were all now chilling in the living room, 

“We brought beers.” Jimin says as he placed dozens of beers followed by Jungkook at the back with more beers.

“That’s a lot of beers…” Minjoo says under her breath, quietly.

“Everyone can have this except Minjoo.” Taehyung remarks and everyone was looking at him weirdly.

Oh yeah, remember when Minjoo got drunk and made Hyewon give me giant ass hickey? Gosh.

“Ya, why are you deciding for her? Minjoo, don’t listen to her, let’s just drink.” Jimin says and Minjoo smiled faintly.

“No, she can’t have any of this. She does weird things when she’s drunk!” Taehyung pouted and Minjoo kicked Taehyung’s waist to shut him up.

“I wonder what they are.” Hyewon smirks.

“I want to see what Minjoo will do when she’s drunk. Let her drink, hyung.” Jungkook says as well, also smirking.

“No” Taehyung insist.

“Hey Minjoo, don’t be lame.” Hyewon nudged Minjoo’s waist and Minjoo rolled her eyes.

“Whatever.” She says.

“No, Minjoo. I won’t let you-”

“Shut up, Tae.” Minjoo sighed. “Let’s just get over this.”

“Ooh! Let’s play truth or dare!” Jimin suggested and Taehyung screamed, “No!! We’re not playing that!”

“Mr Boyfriend, you can leave if you don’t want to play, just don’t ruin our fun.” Hyewon rolled her eyes.

“I told you, I’m not Minjoo’s boy-”

“Whatever.” Hyewon cut her off, showed her palm to Taehyung signalling her to stop talking.

“You’re Miss Bitchy.” Taehyung said back.

“Truth or dare it is!” Jimin squealed as he sipped on the beer.

“Okay, who’s going to start?” I asked and Jimin raised his hand.

“I’ll start. Hmm, I choose,” He paused, looked at me, and smiled. “Y/N. Truth or dare?”

“Uhh. truth.”

“Okay, hmm. Why are you so beautiful?” 

“Ugh! Get a fucking room!” Taehyung groaned in annoyance.

“Answer the question or you’ll have to be punished.” Jimin smirk.

“Uhm.. I was born with it.” I blushed.

“Move on please, next!” Jungkook says.

“ I choose.. Hmm.. “ I paused for a few moments. “Seokjin!” He was shook upon hearing his name being called as he was just minding his own business. “Truth or dare?”

“I don’t want to play.”

“Hyung..” Jimin whined. “Truth or dare!”

Seokjin rolled his eyes. “Truth.”

“Okay! Are you a virgin?” He widened his eyes and the boys laughed at the question I asked. I mean, I was curious cause he was so good looking. And Hyewon says he is a virgin so I wanted to confirm. There is no way this hotie’s a virgin.

“Do I look like I am?” Seokjin asked me back and I stuttered, “N-no?”

“There you go.” He shrugged. 

“Okay, Jin hyung! Choose!”

“Hm, Jungkook.”

“Dare!” Jungkook screamed. “A man should always choose dare!”

“I dare you to stop touching Hyewon in front of us. It’s very disturbing.”

Everyone laughed except for Jungkook and Hyewon. “That’s not fair, hyung!”

“A man always chooses a dare.” Seokjin mocked him and Jungkook stomped his feet, angry.

“Anyway, I choose-” he paused, listening to Hyewon that was smirking and whispering at him.

Okay, Minjoo.” He continued. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“Okay, take a one shot of beer! The whole can.”

Ohh fuck.

“Whatever.” She say as sip on a whole can of beer,

“Jungkook-ah!” Taehyung yelled out annoyingly and Jungkook shrugged. Still smirking.

“My turn.” Minjoo says, rather calmly. “Hm.. Hyewon..”

“Yes?”

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Why are you such a bitch?” She asked, her eyes slowly drifting out of focus.

“Minjoo and her damn repetitive questions!” Hyewon rolled her eyes. “Because this is who I am. Now it's my turn, Mr Boyfriend!”

“I’m not her boyfriend!” Taehyung groaned.

“I don’t care. Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“Kiss Minjoo.”

“What the fuck Hyewon! Why are you always like this all the time!” Taehyung groaned.

Hyewon shrugged, “do it!”

Taehyung sighed as he went toward Minjoo, Minjoo was looking at him, emotionless. He kissed Minjoo on the forehead, earning an angry yell from Hyewon.

“You didn’t say where!” Taehyung pulled out a tongue at her and she rolled her eyes.

“I choose.. hmm Jimin.” Taehyung says, “Truth or dare?”

“Hm dare.”

“I dare you to spell Y/N’s name with your butt.”

“Taehyung-ah that’s so embarrassing.” He kicked Taehyung’s knees.

“A dare is a dare”

Jimin complained but still getting up, he was pouting as he looked at me and said sorry. Then, he did it. He spelled my name with his butt. I laughed. It was so cute.

The games go on quite innocently, to my surprised until I turned to look at Minjoo who’s already on her third can of beer and she looked tipsy as fuck.

It’s Hyewon turns again and fuck. I don’t know why, I’m scared whenever it’s her turn. She always… ask us to do weird things.

“Minjoo.” She said as she smirked. Damn this would be it. Minjoo looked at her, still emotionless. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“You’re lame. Choose dare.”

“No.”

“Fucking choose dare!”

“Ugh whatever.” Minjoo massaged her temple.

“Choose any guys of your choice, and give them hickey.” She smiled. “Any guys.”

“Am I included too?” Jungkook asked and Hyewon rolled her eyes, “yeah fucker.” And Jungkook smiled.

“Any guy?” She looked at Hyewon and Hyewon nodded.

“Well, except Mr. Boyfriend.” Hyewon laughed. “That would be lame.”

Oh Lord, I haven’t even given Jimin my love bites yet please don’t choose Jimin.

“Just walked to him without saying anything and just attack his neck and suck.” Hyewon added, still laughing.

Minjoo started to roam her eyes, looking at each guy carefully, but still, emotionlessly.

“Fast Minjoo. Do it.”

She looked at Jungkook who’s already looking at her while smirking and then she frowned and turned away to look at Jimin who’s sitting beside me. He was not even looking at her. And then she turned to her front and saw Taehyung on the floor. He was just sitting there, pursing his lips and she tilted her head. Probably thinking of something.

“I said except not Mr. Boyfriend!” Hyewon hissed.

“Who’s Mr. Boyfriend?” Minjoo ask her back, still confused. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Kim Taehyung!” Jungkook answered for her, “Anyone except Kim Taehyung.”

“Oh.” she turned her head towards the end of the couch and saw Seokjin. He was looking at her, and she shifted her gaze towards his neck. 

Minjoo's body then moved towards Seokjin and we all gasped. Seokjin blinks his eyes a few times and then she just- go to his neck, and peck a little before pulling away.

“A hickey Minjoo! Not touch it with your lips!” Hyewon groaned.

She pulled away, looking away from Seokjin who’s already red. “I- I don’t know how to do that..”

Taehyung went towards her as he tried to pull Minjoo away from Jin as well but Hyewon stopped him, “Leave her alone!” She yelled. “Minjoo, just fucking suck his neck until you taste blood.”

“What?!” she looked at Hyewon in disgust. “Wouldn’t it be hurt for him?”

“No, it won’t”

“I don’t want to taste blood.” She whined.

“Well, suck to be you.”

“Ugh” she groaned, as she turned back to Seokjin. He was just there, not moving. Minjoo moved closer again to his neck, slowly, and pulled out her tongue and kitten-licked one part of his neck, and that’s when he- uhh- he started to breath sharply. After a few licks, she went in and sucked his neck slowly, and then after a few moments, she suddenly got on Seokjin’s lap and grabbed his neck and shoulder. Seokjin’s breath was getting heavier that one might mistake it for a moan. 

Minjoo was still, weirdly, on Seokjin’s neck when suddenly she was being pulled away by Taehyung. I guess she felt so mad at the loss of touch cause then she started to cry and struggled to escape from Taehyung’s arms.

“No! Let me go!” She cried and Taehyung hugged her, tightly, “enough Minjoo. You’re drunk. Let’s sleep.”

“No I want that! Let me go!” 

“Minjoo! Let’s go!” He yelled as he dragged her to their shared bedroom, “You guys continue.” He said.

“Minjoo is so drunk.” Jungkook says as Taehyung dragged Minjoo away to their room.

“Well, not as drunk as she was before.” Hyewon shrugged and started to kiss Jungkook's neck. “You’re disappointed that she didn’t choose you, baby?”

Jungkook  shrugged, “well, kinda. I mean, we all know I’m the hottest here.”

Jimin scoffed upon hearing what the maknae said, “obviously she didn’t think that.”

“Says the one who’s avoiding her cause you’re scared of your girlfriend.”

“Shut up, there's a difference between scared and love, okay?” 

I pursed my lips, and almost blushing when I heard Jimin said the “love” word.

“Whatever. Hyewon, let’s go.” Jungkook grabbed Hyewon’s wrist, “I know what else can we do other than this stupid game.” He smirked.

And they walked away.

Seokjin stood up and grabbed his notes and guitar, “I’ll be at the porch.”

“Y/N, do you want to shower first?” Jimin asked me and I shook my head.

“You can take shower first, Jimin. I need to call my mum.” I said and he nodded.

“Y/N, you can shower now,” Jimin said as he entered our shared bathroom in a robe.

“O-okay.” I say, quickly ran out to the bathroom, leaving Jimin in a robe without looking back. Gosh he’s making me blushing, he’s so hot!

I was halfway showering when I realized I forgot my towel and underwear. I finishing shower and figured how the fuck would I reach to the bedroom without them.

I peek outside the bathroom, Jin is still outside, Jungkook and Hyewon in their room, same goes with Minjoo and Taehyung. Welp. Whatever I guess? I’ll just cover my body with my dirty clothes.

“So C-cold,” I managed to get out as I raced to the bedroom, stopping suddenly at the sight of Jimin, standing only in his briefs.

Jimin smiled as he spread open a giant towel. “Come here.”

I went to him gladly as he wrapped the towel around me, then grabbed another towel to put on my head. He moved me to the cushions he had spread out on the floor near the heater and couch.

“Oh my God, Jimin. I’m freezing.” I told him through huge shivers as he sat behind me and began rubbing my hair dry.

“Well.” He put his arms around me and leaned against me. “I’ll warm you up.”

I was amazed at the difference Jimin’s body heat made. He definitely warmed me up, but it took me another ten minutes before I could stop shaking long enough to properly dry myself. I then grabbed my fresh undercloth and went to the bathroom to put them on, quickly returning to the heater with a brush in my hand and began running it through my hair to try to make it dry. I gave up after half an hour. It was as dry as the humid air would allow.

I turned to see Jimin leaning against the sofa. He sat on the cushions he had taken from the sofa, spreading them out on the floor to mimic the size of a twin bed mattress. His eyes were on me as he sat inside a blanket, his only movement coming when he spread the blanket open in an invitation to join him. I went up to him after a moment of hesitation. I still felt cold. I reached over to him when he spread his legs, enabling me to sit between them, putting his arms on my stomach-clad T-shirt.

After a while, I don’t know how long we had been here, we both were relaxing and off into our own world when I suddenly felt the difference in the small of my back.

“What.. are you thinking about?” I asked him quietly.

“Guess.”

He pulled my back against him, and I felt his hardness plainly against my back. He moved his hands beneath the blanket, warming my skin as they sent tingles through the areas he touched. My legs were warming as his fingers moved flatly over their tops, making me bend my knees and bring them up to satisfy his reach. His fingers that moved toward the inside of my thighs sent tingles through me before moving on. Jimin’s left hand moved up, beneath my T-shirt as his right hand moved to the elastic band of my underwear.

My breathing was cut short as my senses peaked, waiting silently to see what he would do next. I didn’t wait long because then, his left hand moved over my breast, my left nipple tightening upon contact. His right hand went lower, fingers taking pleasure in the softness of my mound as his legs moved over mine, going around them and spreading them apart. I was exposed to him now and he was taking full advantage of it, knowing just where to touch me and coax me into sparkling sensations.

With my head back against his shoulder, my hands moved over Jimin’s legs and arms, the only part of him I could reach without changing my position. God! How could this one man change me so quickly and so completely from a thinking, functioning human to a creature that’s totally lost to sensation with a deep need to be satisfied.

“Y/N.. You’re so beautiful..” Jimin breathed softly against my cheek.

I turned my face toward him, allowing him to meet me in a first kiss that was deep and encompassing. Oh, he tastes so good, just how I always imagined it would be. His tongue was teasing me, excites me as it touched my lips and tongue as he pulled back slightly before resuming the deepness of our kiss again.

I noticed the change in his breathing, becoming as strained as mine. His left hand moved from my breast to my thigh. It was pulling me back against him as his other hand worked with me, pressing my writhing hips against him. I could feel him behind me, his burning flesh now against my flesh. 

When he had lifted my shirt earlier, my wriggling had maneuvered his underwear lower. He was leaning forward with me now, his legs spreading further as he pressed against me. God, he was exciting me beyond belief. The only thing that my mind could grasp was that the extreme need to keep kissing Jimin in the highly erotic way he had begun.

I don’t even realize that I was arching back against him, again and again that spasms washed over me until I heard a sound. Was it possible that those noises were coming from me???

I was slow coming out of this one. My hands moved slowly over his arms until his hands met mine, entwining his fingers with mine until I became aware again. Jimin warmed me, prompting me to get to my knees to turn to him and then raise his knees as well behind me. 

“Jimin?”

“Shh. It’s okay.” His arm came around my waist as he took off my shirt and his other arm caged around my torso. He leaned forward against me, lowering my face onto the cushions.

He pressed me against the cushions as his mouth met my shoulders. Curiousness made me remain still under his touch, not knowing just what to expect next. He moved my hair off my back to give him greater access to my shoulder and back before sliding his palm sensuously over my shoulder and down my side, then resting on my waist. His mouth gave my neck kisses, moving lower until his hand caressed my firm bottom. His lips brushed along my spine and across my sides, making me clutch onto the cushions in response to the softness of his lips and tongue. But when his hand moved lower between my legs tried to get inside of my pants, I stiffened and tried to get up.

“Jimin! What are you doing?!”

He stopped his downward movement, hesitating a moment as if indecisive, then changed position until he was lying next to me. His hand stayed where he was, making my stomach knot again, making me feel more alive with each bursting sensation. His fingers played me like his well-tuned instrument.

“I hope this means you’re ready.. because I am..,” Jimin whispered against my neck.

There was a low fierceness in his voice as he pulled off my pants and panties simultaneously, but when he moved to lie above me and spread my legs, I stiffened again under his touch and tried to get up.

“Jimin! No! Don’t!”

“Shh..” His hand stroked my hair as he kissed the side of my mouth.

“No- please, Jimin, don’t!”

“Y/N..” he moved slightly so he could look at me more closely. “Baby, I wouldn’t hurt you.” His voice tried to soothe me, but I didn’t want any part of what I thought he was about to do. I had heard stories in school, and the thought filled me with fright.

“Baby.. you’re twenty years old now.. How could you remain so naive? You’ve got to know more than you let on..”

“I’m only twenty years old, Jimin! I’m not like your other girlfriends! Forgive me for not being as accomplished as they were! But I have no desire to fuck around with people! I wanted to do it with someone I truly love!”

I probably shouldn’t have brought it up. I mean, I wouldn’t have if he didn’t mention my age and the fact that I’m a virgin like it was so bad to be one. The anger in his face sent a chill through me as he moved over me once more. I felt his hand moving beneath my waist, jerking me up until I hanged like a rag doll out of his hand. He took a cushion and shoved it under my belly, then pulled me on my knees.

“Don’t bother about my ex-girlfriends. I’ll just fuck you better, so you could satisfy my needs later on.”

I felt his cock throbbing under me as I tried to dive away, but he was quick to lean over me and wrap his arm around my waist. His other arm also came around me, but his hands moved in different directions. One was cupping my breast and the other moved down to below my stomach.

“Jimin! Don’t!” I growled through clenched teeth.

“Don’t fight me, Y/N! Jesus Christ, did I ever hurt you before?!”

He held me against him, front to back as we both were on our knees. My breathing ragged from trying to escape. His mouth came down on my neck, gently kissing the sensitive area of my shoulder as his left hand caressed my breast, making me relax slightly. 

Jimin’s fingers slowly reached the softness below, moving lower to make me need him again as much as he needed me, continuing until I was pressed back against his chest and moved my hand over my shoulder to feel his face. At this point, I was beginning not to care how he took me as long as it would be complete. The intensity of his cock riding up between my thighs, sliding between them, was driving me nearly mad. My hips were moving under the guidance of his hand, making my own hands move to his hips and thighs as Jimin continued to send me to a point near fainting.

“Do something!” I was trying to say it in an irritated command, but it came out in a velvety moan.

“Is that an order?” His voice was very low and husky as he breathed into my ear.

���Please..”

Jimin didn’t hesitate. He slowly stood up, picked me up and gently laid me down on bed. I was mildly aware of his hands on my calves as he spread me open and I was so scared. I could feel my heart beating like crazy, I’m pretty sure I’d die.

Jimin spread my legs wider and guided himself toward my already moist entrance. I was expecting it to be a painful and shameful experience, but surprisingly there wasn’t any pain as he filled his cock inside me, slowly, sending a deep moan from me. It wasn’t what I had expected at all.

“Do you want me to stop? Am I hurting you?” His question brought another deep moan from me.

His hand cupped my chin and he kissed me with combined tenderness and passion as he let out a low groan and began to move back and forth in gentle thrust that soon became more and more urgent.

“Jimin..” I whispered, straining against him. 

“Y/N..” his voice broke as he quickened his pace, gathering me even more tightly against him. I started to feel something on my stomach when suddenly Jimin decided to pull his cock all the way out. My body constantly changed its mind and I feel empty and aching, which was very confusing to me.

“Jimin..” I whined. Unable to say anything but weirdly, Jimin understood, and pushed his cock inside me again, this time, fully, all in one stroke.

Nothing had ever felt this good.

Nothing.

The moan that came out of my mouth matched with his as he began moving inside me. I tried to remain still but then I lost myself and rolled my hips. Jimin said in a tortured voice, “Yes baby.. grind on me- fuck, Y/N! You feel so good.”

I fell back and adjusted my legs, trying to find a place to put them. Everything about him was big, even his hips and I was unsure of myself. Jimin seemed to understand my thoughts and lowered himself over my body, resting his weight on the forearm that pressed into the mattress on either side of my head. Then he hooked one of my legs around his waist and pushed deeper into me.

“Oooh oh oh!”

“Too much?”

I wrapped my other leg around him in answer.

“Dig your heels into my bottom” he commanded roughly. I did and it opened my legs wider and it changed the angle again.

“Yes!” I cried out with more enthusiasm than intended. “Jimin!”

He chuckled in response, and I felt so happy, I laughed too, breathless. Jimin’s mouth found mine and I accepted it, greedily kissing him back as he rocked into me steadily. A lock of dark, damp hair brushed across my face as he dipped his head to my neck, sucking and kissing. His shoulders bunched. I ran my hands through his chest, then skimmed around his sides, feeling every taut muscle in his torso, tight and hard and shifting beneath my exploring fingers as he moved.

I accidentally made strange noises but Jimin felt so good, I couldn’t make myself care anymore.

“Y/N, my God.” He whispered against my ear. “You feel like heaven. So perfect. Even better than I imagined.”

My pleasure was honed by his words, abruptly quickening. The slick muscles at my center wanted to clench and bear down on him, but he was too big for me. I cried out in frustration, feeling the urgency of what was coming, almost frightened by it. It was gathering within me with alarming speed.

The last time when Hyewon brought me to orgasm with a fucking vibrator, that was one thing. This was wholly different. Park Jimin was inside me. Sharing the same pleasure. Filling me. Surrounding me. I was humbled by the intensity of emotions that bloomed at the horizon and raced my thundering heart.

“God damn.” Jimin cursed appreciatively as my center tried to clench around him again.

“Jimin, oh my God. Please don’t stop!”

“I won’t, I won’t,” he said, pumping his hips with urgency. “Come for me, baby.”

I grasped his solid shoulders, slick with sweat. My breath caught as I tightened around him for a final time. Euphoric spasms pulsed through my center, bringing wave after wave of astonishing pleasure. I was shook. I whimpered and just when I began to fall back down to the Earth, Jimin pounded into me a handful of times with such intense strength, I opened my eyes to watch him.

Mouth slack and wide, he bucked, squinted his eyes closed, and bellowed out an extended cry that reverberated through me as he shuddered in my arms like a great, divine beast taken down by a single bullet.

Jimin then rolled to his side, taking me with him, and I heard his heartbeat pound in time with mine, slowing and heavy, I felt an unyielding sense of brutal possession and fuck. I am so fucking in love with Park Jimin. How could I have doubted him? I should have known that I was safe with him, that he wouldn’t hurt me. Jimin’s eyes were closed and his breath still irregular, but his hand moved until it found mine, gently grasping it.

“I told you I wouldn’t hurt you.”

“Yes. You did.”

“And you didn’t believe me.”

“I didn’t-“

“You didn’t know.” He chuckled and it warmed me.

“Jimin..”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you..”

“No, baby.. thank you..” he kissed my forehead as he pulled me closer to his embrace. “Now let’s sleep.”

[inyoursheets]

2, 16, 18, 23!

Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

wow ok this is surprisingly hard to answer! confronting! im not even sure, there isn’t anything specific ive got planned out that im excited to write. i don’t have any future projects planned out yet. or. i mean.....there are some things at the tips of my writing fingers but i can’t allow myself to think about them properly yet bc i need to focus on and commit to finishing warm water. and my thesis (ugh).

there are some things from warm water that ive already written that im excited to share, but right now im in a place where writing just isn’t going smoothly, so whenever i have an idea (like the eloquent “sweatpants dick” note i took recently) (my only contribution that day) im not all that confident or excited about it bc im afraid the actual writing itself will be a pain? that i’ll drag my feet for days and it won’t come easy and i’ll hate every second of it -- until things click and the words start flowing, not unlike this post describes. idk i keep really wanting to write and sitting down for it and then it just--won’t happen. or if i do actually try putting pen to paper i just start hating it all, which i don’t want.

so! this is a sad note to end on! here’s some vague things i am looking forward to: i’m looking forward to being excited about writing in general! i’m looking forward to writing something i’m proud of, either in terms of plot or theme or characterization or dialogue or whatever! i’m also looking forward to having that oh-my-god-the-words-are-flowing-from-me moment, regardless of the result tbh, bc i just love that feeling of loving writing and having it come easily. that’s what im excited about -- being excited about writing again.  

Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

ok so i have this terrible writing tendency to not know how to not describe every single action characters make -- every movement, every gesture. particularly on first drafts i feel the urge to describe it all, otherwise i can’t continue. i know that it’s not always necessary to write what happens every single second of a scene, but i can’t seem to stop?

idk if im explaining what i mean correctly -- there’s probably terms for this that i dont know -- but someone who i think manages to do the opposite of what i do very well is @fairhairedkings, who is really good at time jumps and not going overboard w the minute-to-minute descriptions, the way i tend to.

i know it can be pretty tiresome and it’s one of the things that annoys me a lot about my own writing, both in terms of reading it (it can be plain boring?) and for the writing itself. it blocks me! but i can’t seem to stop doing it, feel like i’m glazing over things otherwise or lose track of where im going. i have to keep reminding myself that leaving out certain things doesn’t mean that nothing happens or that people assume nothing happens.

so, to answer the question, ive tried to be a bit more concise with it’s hidden in heartbeats, exhales and in the hope of open hands when i started writing it. that fic is a product of being fed up with my other WIPs and it didn’t take more than a week from its initial idea to the finished product, so i really wanted it to be a quickie, and i thought something tight and concise could work for the plot. i didn’t actually manage to succeed though, still ended up describing just about every action there, too. i don’t think i’ll ever manage to write something concise tbh. i do bad with time jumps, i do bad with less is more, which is unfortunate, bc less can truly, truly be more. so! im gonna try this again some time!

Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

mmm well, warm water originally didn’t include mutual pining -- beth wasn’t supposed to be in love with rio yet, we were gonna watch her fall in love slowly, while he already felt things. but then i ended up almost turning that entirely on its head and now we’ve got the mess that is that this fic in its current state lol. there’s also an AU to warm water that i briefly considered bc of you which i won’t go into now bc of possible spoilers -- but ive considered things!!! 

also for it’s hidden in heartbeats, it was supposed to be more about petty!rio and haha, look, exes trying to get “revenge”, and to be light and funny, but i realized that idk how relationships work, let alone how exes work, so i couldn’t really find any good reasons for them splitting up, at least nothing that could generate comedy, so it ended up getting fairly angsty? idk why this keeps happening -- me planning to do something rom com-esque and it developing into something wayyyyy angstier, but it did!

What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

oh wow idek! ive definitely been working on warm water the longest, so i guess technically that one, but there are some other ideas that have been drifting near the surface that have been there longer and are very underdeveloped and need time and nourishment and attention and love, all of which i can’t give them yet bc im trying to stay focused on warm water and thesis writing. maybe the beth/stan friendship snippet ive got hidden in somewhere in my docs!

thank youuuu for indulging me!!! meta writing asks!!!!

[softstraykidsimagines]

Stray Kids Reaction: you smack them during a fight but immediately cry afterwards

A/N: reeeee this was torture to write uGH! i’m not used to angsty reactions and i had to take multiple breaks from imagining what would happen because THE PAIN  T~T

MASTERLIST

Chan

Your voices had already been raised, so you were at you limit. At some point, you just lost it and slapped him. At the sudden move, he gripped your wrist and glared at you. Not out of anger per say, but more of an indignant ‘why would you do that’ kinda thing. But the moment you burst into tears --partially because you actually slapped Chan, and also because you were kinda scared of his own reaction-- , he realized that you hadn’t really meant it. He tried to speak calmly and kept holding your wrist, though gently this time, so that you could cool down and talk more without anymore violence.

Woojin

Poor boy would be so shocked. When your hand struck his cheek, his eyes went as round as dinner plates. He just stared at you, unable to say anything. He even took a step back, as if scared of you. When you realized what you’d done, you burst into tears, and he jerked himself out of his surprise to calm you down. Though he was still a bit hesitant, as if scared you would try to hit him again.

“I’m sorry I’m so sorry”, you sobbed.

“It-it’s okay.... I still can’t believe that happened to be honnest...”

i cried while imagining this yo

Minho

He was already fired up about the argument you were both having, but mo fo, was he ever surprised when you actually smacked him. He lurched back, with an almost angry expression on his face, his hand grazing over the now-red area where you’d struck him. When you started crying, at first he only watched you, confused. Then he finally woke up and tried to calm you down, still confused.

“Woah, hey, it’s okay... you mostly just surprised me, don’t worry”

Changbin

Ho, this dude has an older sister, so you can bet your ass that he went into Defense Mode as soon as you raised you arm. But somehow, you still managed to land a blow on his cheek, just not a very strong one. You burst into tears, because ‘blimey why tf did I hit Changbin?’ and he immediately started comforting you, trying to use a bit of humor to make you feel better.

“Don’t worry about it, really. You think I’ve lived a peaceful life? I’ve gotten a black eye from my sister, I looked like a pirate!” You laughed a bit at that. 

Hyunjin

Bruh, he was so shocked when you hit him. So much, in fact, that he stumbled back a bit, his eyes scrunched up. But soon he was staring at you as if you had two heads. “W-wa-” He was so dumbfounded that he couldn’t even speak properly. “W-what just happened?” When you started crying, he became even more astonished, but still tried to calm you down, though still not really comprehending the situation.

“Shh, it’s okay, it didn’t hurt”. Wtf is happening??

Jisung

When you smacked him, his arm shot right up to push your hand away as he ducked to avoid you. He let out a breathy ‘hwa...’ of surprise you know the one he makes when he’s confused or gets roasted and nearly started chuckling out of shock. Actually when you started crying, he only started chuckling harder (again, out of pure shock), cuddling you. He basically forgot your argument, because he was so confused.

“Hey, hey! Don’t cry! You didn’t start WW3, don’t worry!”

Felix 

Bitch his reaction I can’t even take it *cries in multilingual*. As you hit him, his head whipped back as he instinctively tried to avoid your swing. He was so surprised that he stumbled back, staring at you with wide and scared eyes, looking as if he were about to cry. Seeing his face made you start sobbing, but he didn’t go to comfort you at first: he just leaned forward tentatively, but finally approached you to calm you down.

“Umm.... a-are you okay?” *leans forward carefully* “You’re not gonna hit me again are you?”

this made me cry help

Seungmin

As you slapped him, he gaped at you with an unreal level of shock. When you started crying, he quickly understood that you hadn’t meant to really hurt him, and decided to let it slide. He suggested having some food and cooling off, then talking everything over again. He planned on eventually bringing your violence up again, but not in a accusatory way. For the time being, he just wanted you to relax.

“Okay, why don’t we have a bite to eat, and we can go over this again when we’re both calmer. No, I’m not angry at you, but you need to calm down”.

Jeongin

first of all, if i ever hear that someone has hurt my boy, im gonna swat them into the next century, you’ve been warned

Idek how you could build up enough anger to smack this angel, so let’s consider you were at your worst ever condition, and felt like dying, so arguing with your bf was the last straw. When you struck him, he stumbled back, regained his balance, but then went further back, as if completely terrified of you. The sight and everything that had happened that day crashed over you as you burst into tears. But Jeongin was too shocked and scared to approach you, so for a while, you both stood there, you balling and him fighting not to cry as well. Finally, when you’d quieted down, he decided to talk with you again, this time quietly.

dont touch me this broke my heart

right, imma go cry in a ditch now bye

[bigskydreaming]

I'm not sure if you got my request because i didn't had internet when i sent it, so i'll write it again xd Do you think Dick (and the batboys in general) are famouse like Bruce? Because in the comics there's not any clue about it, i've never seen anyone say something like "oh look! Its Dick Grayson!, y'know, Wayne's first ward/son And its a shame, because reporters would make such a hard life to all of them, it would maka a good narrative tool

Honestly, this is a prime example of that inconsistency I rant about, and also DC’s refusal to just COMMIT on even the most basic aspects of their universe like….uh…how many kids does Batman have. 

afhsahfklahsklfhal

Like, you would think that would meet the MINIMUM requirements of “shit you should probably have figured out and make sure everybody’s on the same page with” but DC’s like….nah, that’s not important.

So I mean…..I’m reasonably certain - like this is just my personal belief, but I’d put money on it being right, lol - but I think the primary reason there’s so little mention in the comics of how Bruce’s kids are viewed in the public eye/how much the public are aware of them (in the New 52, at least, as pre-Flashpoint there was a lot more plot around that kind of thing, especially back in the 80s and 90s)……

…is because 90% of the writers and editors have no clue either, and nobody wants to be the one to ask, and like, open that can of worms. I 100% think you could ask five different writers at DC which kids Bruce has OFFICIALLY adopted in this current continuity, and get five different answers, lol.

There’s been so much handwaving about Dick’s status ever since Spyral, and again - I think its because nobody bothered to think through the logistics of the Hypnos/global-mindwipe machine BEFORE writing it into the story, and then once it did occur to any of them to like….wonder just how specifically it worked, they were like, fuck it, better just be as vague as possible. So, according to Grayson, everyone Helena didn’t program into the exclusion list before the satellite was activated should have no recollection of Dick Grayson, which is why he was able to ‘go back to his old life’ and be Nightwing again, without worrying about his secret identity having been unmasked…..

But what does that mean for his official identity as adopted son or even just ward of billionaire Bruce Wayne? People can’t have NO memory of Dick Grayson and still remember that Bruce Wayne took in a kid named Dick Grayson. I mean, as far as I can tell, the overall consensus in the comics seems to be that after the satellite was activated, Dick just kinda started from scratch as ‘Dick Grayson’ like, he was free to be himself again, but it was like he was a blank slate/came out of nowhere as far as everyone else was concerned. But again, that means as far as anyone outside of their close circle of family and friends know….Dick Grayson is a non-entity to Bruce Wayne and the two have no history. 

Which I mean, is fairly shitty and you’d think if nothing else, there’d be massive story potential there for delving into Dick’s character and his relationship with Bruce and examining how he felt about ‘having his old life/identity back’….except with the caveat that as far as the world is concerned, his life and identity don’t and have never included his father.

Cut to DC: Naaaaaaaah.

But even WITH that, plot holes persist, and abound, because…..why didn’t the satellite erase the Court of Owls’ knowledge/memory of Dick? Even before Luthor gave Cobb those goggles and files to help him with bringing Ric into the fold, Cobb clearly was already stalking Ric and knew exactly who he was….the Court obviously already had that doctor in place while he was still in recovery…so, whoops. I mean, you could probably come up with an explanation about the Court, via their own tech and resources, having had some protections in place 24/7 that kept the satellite from affecting them even though they weren’t on guard for it specifically…..but again, Occam’s Razor….I feel like the real answer is DC just didn’t care enough to think things that far through. Especially since the average Bludhaven citizen, like Bea, at least didn’t seem totally blown away when Ric revealed to her that amnesia aside, he was supposedly some rich billionaire’s adopted kid….which again suggests that as far as the writers were thinking, people in general are familiar with the idea that Bruce Wayne has more than one kid.

Then you’ve got Jason’s whole situation, and to be honest….I really only have the vaguest idea what’s going on there, because reading Lobdell books is against my religion, and I am a devout and deeply spiritual person, as you all probably can tell. I mean, I know that there’s something going on where like, Jason had himself legally resurrected in the public eye and is openly referring to himself as Bruce Wayne’s formerly-assumed dead foster kid……but like, is that the official official word, or would other writers if you asked them say they’d been operating under the assumption Bruce had adopted Jason too at some point in the Rebirth timeline, or….idek, man.

I…..honestly don’t have the faintest fucking clue what to make of the many back-and-forth retcons about Tim and his parents and his official place in the Batfam/relationship with Bruce, and am actually slightly terrified of even trying to make sense of that clusterfuck of a Gordian knot, so my official stance on Tim is to just like….back sloooooowly away from the anthropomorphic-migraine-masquerading-as-a-backstory, without like….agitating it and accidentally setting off another multiverse Crisis birthed wholly from just that one all-consuming black hole of a retcon.

I mean, there’s a reason I basically just shoehorn all the kids’ official pre-Flashpoint family statuses into anything I write in Rebirth continuity, and that’s not just stubbornness and my refusal to play the “now this kid is adopted…now he’s not…now he is again….except he’s not….oh he’s adopted again…..oh wait now he’s not again" game. 

Its like. Also for the sake of my sanity and stuff.

(And also hahahahaha fuck you DC times infinity, every time you use the words “blood son,” or “real family” in a comic, or have one of Bruce’s other kids refer to Bruce as “your father” when talking to Damian, as if that’s not an utterly bizarre and roundabout way for any sibling to refer to their mutual parent and thus I j’ete REFUSE to acknowledge it as valid….ahem, anyway, my point is, every time they do that in a comic, I double down and headcanon Bruce throwing a random as fuck gala for literally no other purpose than to remind all of Gotham that he has half a dozen kids and they’re all better than everyone else’s. Ugh. Kill it. Kill the “blood son” nonsense with fire and lightning and also lots of stabbing maybe).

Anyway, that’s my official stance on DC’s stance on Damian in the books.

Then as far as Cass goes….ugh, her origins were pretty much utterly butchered by the New 52, which IMO has also failed to give us Cass and Bruce bonding and dynamics sufficient to Sate Mine Ire™, sooooooo…..I mean, my perception of the current canon is that Cassandra’s official status is “secret mystery foster child that nobody really knows about,” but because I do not care for that and there’s the whole not sufficiently sated ire thing I mentioned, I officially reject this canon and willfully replace it with pre-Flashpoint Bruce and Cass love and adoption. DC’s welcome to kiss my critically acclaimed hiney if I’m doing it wrong.

Which brings us last, but certainly not least, as its only this way because I go sequentially and Duke is still Shiny and New comparative to the others and will be until the next inevitable fostering/adoption/clone hi-jinks bumps him up the sequential ladder (except I randomly switched Damian and Cass around this time because LOOK I DONT MAKE THE RULES, THERE ARE NO RULES i hvea Adhd hiccup sob leavem e aloooone soooooob)…..

Duke’s official status, much like the rest of the Batkids, can be summed up as Honestly, I Really Don’t Have A Fucking Clue And Am Just Winging This Whole Thing.

I mean, there’s less inconsistency with him, due mostly to the fact that so few writers other than Snyder use him (boo, hiss, and not just because I hate having to give Snyder credit for stuff - look, I love his Duke, but I loathe how he writes Dami, its a thing, I just…don’t get me started). But what inconsistencies there are….well….they’re a bit glaring.

Basically one major storyline showed Duke as being an official foster kid/ward of Bruce’s and living out of the Manor with Bruce and Damian and occasionally Tim when he’s not off road-tripping around the multiverse….and then Batman and the Signal had Duke in the care of his uncle, who was stated to be his legal guardian and Duke was constantly sneaking out in order to meet Bruce in the special Signal-cave he built specifically for Duke to operate out of so he didn’t have to like, drive all the way out to the Manor to change just so he could then drive back into the city and patrol. And then Batman and the Outsiders just said fuck all that, here’s Duke and Cass hopping hemispheres with the Outsiders every other issue, so apparently nobody’s making unscheduled visits anywhere back in Gotham to make sure these two are where they’re legally assumed to be, which again, for the record is…..*error, source not found*

LOLOL and the really fun thing about this little back and forth is I’m pretty sure allllll these conflicting takes are all the work of the same writer. Like. GET ON YOUR OWN PAGE, DUDE.

Also, again I have to assume the “Can’t Be Bothered To Give A Shit, Or Maybe They’re All Just Really Bad At Logic” curse has struck again, because….uhhhh…..

….at no point anywhere in Duke’s stories have I seen Bruce or literally anyone else express concern about the fact that Duke living with Bruce as his official foster, like he definitely and clearly was at some point at least…..means that literally every single one of his We Are Robin friends who knows that he was taken in by the Batfam (and there’s several of them who know this)….like, by the transcendent properties of You Can’t Honestly Think They’re That Dumb, that’s a good five or six civilians out there who probably took all of five seconds to play connect the dots and figure out the Wayne family, having officially taken Duke in on paper…..is pretty likely the Batfamily.

I mean, I like all of Duke’s friends and would definitely headcanon/write them as all being trustworthy and able to keep this knowledge to themselves for Duke’s sake, if nothing else, but I mean, its pretty unprecedented for Bruce to out himself and all of his kids/allies by extension, to like, that many civilian teenagers all in one swoop….

…sooooooo, you’d think, AGAIN, logically, maybe, perhaps, this is the kind of thing that should be brought up in a narrative somewhere as a plot point worth delving into, y’know, just for shits and giggles and maybe a little bit of that whatchamacallit - oh right, character development, but.

Cut to DC: Naaaaaaah.

 *throws up hands and does the I Can’t Even Shuffle all the way home*

In conclusion:

DC is a mess. The official/public status of each and every Batkid is a mess. Except for Damian, the blood son, but we have that pencilled in on the schedule to be killed with fire and also stabbing, so he can get filed under ‘just a fucking mess’ with the rest of his siblings. Hashtag Solidarity.

I mean, I say just write or headcanon their official status however you damn well please, and it’ll STILL be more effort than I believe DC has put into organizing and staying consistent with all of this, and thus STILL make more sense than what we currently have to work with.

*Shrugs* If they don’t care enough to provide a clear canon blueprint to follow when mapping the Bat Family Tree, I can’t be bothered to care if the one I make up myself happens to contradict one single mention of one kid’s official status as claimed by one issue of one book.

Especially if it was written by Lobdell.

Jason’s just a foster son my ass. grumble mumble bitter vengeful swears and a pox on all DC’s houses. WHY DO YOU PEOPLE HATE ADOPTION SO MUCH, INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW AND ALSO FUCK YOU.

[foxymuses]

do it! share the spn opinions!

aight, but i aint gonna go super into detail here, okay, and i’m putting it under a cut just so people who don’t want to SEE THE SALT can avoid it, so this is your LAST WARNING don’t read further if you’re easily offended/have strong feelings about spn. also, i say it several times, but it should be enforced here that just because i dislike a character on the show does not mean i dislike someone’s portrayal. oftentimes, the tumblr rp world writes characters better than shows do and it redeems these characters in my eyes, so. keep that in mind

i can’t stand sam at all. i think he’s a whiny bitch baby and he gets far too much love in the show. i prefer the later seasons when dean becomes the plot focus. this isn’t because i like dean better (but i do), it’s honestly just so... like sam’s writing is so off putting and it grinds me. i usually skip episodes that are sam focused, and i very much can’t stand most of s3 and s4. i also don’t like soulless sam at all *** i usually adore sam rpers. this isn’t to say i hate the character. i hate the way he’s written in the show, but how tumblr people write him is the Right way and i love them for it

i Strongly Disliked s6 and s12. i can’t even tell you what happened in these seasons aside from a vague recollection. s8 is also a bit of a fog, but that’s mostly because s9 is when i started watching the show on tv so i sort of skipped through s8 to be ready for the premiere.

i will forever be salty that they did dean dirty at the end of s5. having him go to say yes then essentially being all ‘jk sam asked me not to so i wont’ will forever irritate me. like. they were all ‘no dean, you can’t say yes to michael’ and ready to lock him up for it, but then literally like an episode later were like ‘nah it’s cool if sam says yes though, whatever’

sort of following that, i really hate that sam is oftentimes implied to be the ‘stronger’ or ‘nicer’ brother. i think he’s a huge hypocrite and like. he causes so many problems, and he’s so mean to dean a lot of the time? but dean would do anything for him? that’s annoying

i did not like mary being brought back at all. that was random and made super little sense to the overall plot, and i did not like how she was written

i also don’t like jack. he seemed a kind of... mmm there’s a word for it. but like the writers seemed to just throw him in for the sake of a plot line, and he’s annoying and i don’t like how OP he is. again, most jack writers are better, but within the show realm, he annoys me to no end, as does the immediate like... love for him that everyone but dean has, and the pushy insistence that everyone shoves at dean to like jack as if he’s not the spawn of the devil

i dont even think this is controversial, but how they handled demon dean was Disappointing, and great part of the reason i stopped watching in s10 and didn’t catch up until i learned dean got possessed by michael FINALLY. but that disappointed me too, so. here we are, living on my blog with my own rules about the possessions and shit

can we talk about how dean’s ptsd is never addressed at all. 

uh, john was an abusive asshole. no forgiveness here. there’s no excuses ‘he was a drunk, he missed his wife, he wanted dean to survive’ no, he was an abusive asshole that royally fucked dean up for good, and i will have none of the john apologist bullshit here, thanks. bobby was more a father to dean than john ever would’ve been

don’t really care for the claire arc all that much. i like her with jody, and i like jody’s little family with alex too, but the arc for claire is just.. really odd

donna is incredibly annoying. i’ll keep saying it, but tumblr writers do her so much better. show donna just. ugh.

i wrote a post about it once, but the episode i Hate the most is on the head of a pin, and i won’t super go into detail, but that whole episode is s shit show and i Do Not acknowledge it happened, thanks

I THINK THERE’S MORE BUT I’M BLANKING

the samulet and handprint both still exist, thanks. there’s a post about it somewhere on one of my blogs that i should bring out again

can we stop treating dean as either an angry fisticuffs player or an overall childish goofball? he has more to him than that

i’m still bitter over the ruby arc, honestly. it annoyed me in all the wrong ways. we can just assume that i’m fine with ruby writers at this point, nothing i say in this list pertains to writers on tumblr, just the show

the god is chuck thing is fine, but the whole direction the show took with it after amara is just fucking bananas. i mean sure, what else could they end on other than a fight against god, but still. fucking bananas. lets go back to the days of ‘maybe chuck is god’ in like s5, yknow?

um can dean and cas just kiss now? or how about like several seasons ago, but starting in like s11, even though i adore cas a lot, he started to get a little irritating. again, show writing, not tumblr writing. but he kinda started to become like... high and mighty and it does not mesh well with things, i think

ben is dean’s son, i dont care what you say.

um im trying to go through the seasons in my head to remember things that annoy me and are controversial, and aren’t just things that spn needs to fix, like andy’s death (still bitter)

what was that crowley and blood addiction shit that happened in like s10 or something? what was that supposed to be? was that supposed to mean something i am so confused

um are the ghostfacers even still alive, like this isn’t salt, i’m just genuinely concerned because if they are, why aren’t they in more episodes please

yo, maybe because i write pride and chronos and whatever, but the treatment of non-chrisitan deities is absolute Shit, thanks. like i get that the show is going for the christian religion is the Main thing, because most people get it, but like. as someone genuinely interested in religion, the utter disdain for other religious entities or even the idea that all demons are bad demons simply because demons is ridiculous. show some love to other entities. like for fuck’s sake, you can’t just kill the god of time? what the fuck? some of these gods were around long before any recorded history of the christian god, so i guarantee you at least half of them could kick god’s butt and call it a day.

s9 mark of cain dean was the best, that’s the end of that argument

wtf with the gabe storyline what even, gabe deserved better

imma go so far as to say lucifer did too, that was a bunch of nonsense. all of it that happened after s5, it’s all bullshit

actually the only angel that deserved what they god was metatron, thanks, the asshole. 

also can we talk about death, like. dont get me wrong billie is cool, but i want my original pizza-loving death back please, he and dean had a cool thing going on. also tessa, can we bring back tessa

honestly rowena annoyed me in the beginning. she grew on me, but i feel like a lot of her character was forced. 

the dean and pie thing has gone a little too far at this point

*claps* i *claps* don’t *claps* like *claps* sam! literally half the things in this post are me dancing around this idea, but most of my salt for the show stems from my dislike of him. 

idek the general opinion on this, but i did Not like the crazy cas & meg situation. like all of that. it was weird. i mean i didn’t even really like meg, to be honest. but that whole arc was fucking weird, and that relationship (one kiss?) felt super forced.

actually can we stop having cas just. fucking switch personalities all the time? s4 cas was the best.

dean does Not put sam above everyone else. he will try to save sam, yes, but sam is not the most important person to dean, and dean will not choose sam above cas or bobby or charlie or jody or literally anyone.

IM RUNNING OUT OF THOUGHTS BUT I KNOW I HAVE MORE so. we’ll come back to this.

[seonfhwa]

hello friends! tis your favorite (or not) mingi stan, here with her first follow forever! 

recently, i hit the big milestone of 1,000 followers, something i never thought would happen! really, i want to thank all of you for following me, for supporting my content, for being a part of this mess of a blog. 

to those who came on over after i remade, and to those who only started following me yesterday, i love you all from the bottom of my heart.

click for some more fun things for my moots! (it gets long, i’m so sorry)!

i was thinking of doing something special, but i don’t know to what extent i could really do for all of you guys ;; if there’s anything you want (a lil blurb, a moodboard, a smol gifset) just let me know! this part’s only for mutuals, though, so keep that in mind. i don’t know how quick i can get all of the stuff done, but i would definitely do anything for you guys!!

for my mutuals, i’ve written each of you a little message. some may be shorter than others, but know that my love is overflowing and unending even if i may not be good with words!! also this isn’t really in any specific order!

@smol-joong 🌟 miss anett... i have a whole lot to say (if i say all of it we’ll be here forever), but honestly the main thing is... you’re my number one. you’re the sweetest, the most lovely, the most heartwarming. you’re someone i can count on no matter what, whether i need a pick me up or just attention. i love you, i truly truly do, and you always know how to make me happy. thank you for being my friend, for letting me love you, and for always being there for me!

@cherryjoong 🌟 maggie!! you’re honestly the sweetest bean, the most relatable human i’ve ever met. you were one of my first mutuals who really ever spoke to me, and i will forever hold you in a special place in my heart. you’re another person who’s always there for me, who really deserves the whole wide world. thank you for having such a big, caring heart.

@honeyboysan 🌟 jules, darling jules. frankly, you’re one of my first friends on this hellsite. you know how my first thing to you was me going “i poked around on your blog for a while before finally following you”? im just a big babey and you’re one of the most lovely people in the world. i’m really glad we’re friends, that i was able to meet someone like you. you make my heart happy, and you deserve all of the happiness in the world. it’s really, really good to see you happy.

@heoneyology 🌟 miss rainah!!! everyone always says you’re the mom type, and i’d have to agree. you’re sweet, you’re loving, you’re charming, and you’re one of the funniest people i know. your love for your biases (especially jooheon, zico, hongjoong, and ravn) makes my heart swell, and whenever i see you on my dash, i just get so happy. not to mention, when you’re happy, i’m happy! thank you for always being there to pick me up when i need it, and for being a ray of sunshine in my dull life.

@multidino 🌟 kimora!!! my multifandom queen!!! honestly, first of all i want to thank you for supporting me in all of my adventures and being one of the first people to help me kickstart my vav blog. second of all-- thank you, for being you. for being a great friend, for being a kind soul, for being one of the best people on this website. you’re doing your best, and that’s what matters!!! i love you so so so so much!!!

@ateezartblog 🌟 hello my sweet pumpkin. how are you today? have you eaten? did you sleep well? are you taking care of yourself? i hope you know how much i care about you!! i know you’re usually the one to come and check up on all of us, but sometimes you need it just as much as we do. please, angel love, remember to take care of yourself, even when you feel like you shouldn’t. you are just as deserving as everyone else, and one day, i hope you can see that. until then, i’ll make sure to remind you all of the time!! i love you lots!!

@wooyuong 🌟 precious angel baby inna!! hello my sweetest beanie baby. frankly, i don’t know how someone like you wanted to be friends with someone like me, but every time we talk i’m like !! that’s her im super blessed bc !! we friends!! you’re super talented, you’re super cute, and pls pls pls always remember that!!! you deserve all good things in the world and i’m so super glad that we talk ;;;

@wangtaeil 🌟 iconic miss bee!! life’s too short to only have one bias, and your words haunt help me to this day!!! i’m really glad i met you, because you’ve kinda sorta been a really big source of inspiration and help for me, especially recently. from feeling shitty about gifs, not wanting to be around, to even needing help with some stuff, i know i can always trust you and confide in you. you’re a talented woman, and you really have so much going for you. and you want to be friends with a lil nugget like me??? i am undeserving but thankful.

@choisansbitch 🌟 upaamaaa!!! now every time i eat a tuna sandwich, i think of you (i eat tuna a lot, so take that... i’m ALWAYS thinking about you). i know when we first started talking, i was nervous because i ??? really didnt feel like i even deserved to talk to you, cause you’re like... super amazing. but i’m so glad we’re friends!! you make some of the best gifs, and even if you don’t think so, i love them so so much!! and you’re honestly one of the sweetest, most relatable people in the world. please never lose your charm, i love you so much.

@missminji 🌟 hARLSS!!!! im still shocked that your super secret detective skills figured me out, but hey!! in the end they helped because now i actually talk to my “redacted” (we all know who redacted is) and i love her sm ;;; we havent been talking too much recently (i think life’s been kicking us rip) but no matter what, i love you, and i love getting to talk to you whenever i can. thank you for being my friend, i don’t deserve someone as lovely as you.

@utopiagf 🌟 you crazy, but ily. that’s it that’s the post-- ehrbgjehb im kidding, there’s so much more. you’re literally one of the most fun, bright, cheery person, and i love seeing you around. i know you just remade (and i was confused bc i was like?? nik??? where she go??) but literally i love love love seeing & talking to you, even if these days i’m still... super intimidated by you. but you’re such a sweetheart, and thank you for blessing me with your presence in my life. uwu

@visualsan 🌟 honestly i need to talk to you more ehjbrhjge every time i talk to anett and we mention you (all good things, of course uwu) i’m like?? why do i not talk to bea more?? literally you seem like such the coolest person, and i love love love seeing you, your gifs, everything uwu so yeah!! pls let’s talk more ilysm!

@prettyseonghwa 🌟 yas, i think you have one of the biggest hearts around here. you are so caring, so loving, and you really need to know that. i love you, really, so so much. thank you for always being there for us, for always giving the best advice and love that we all need. just know!! that you deserve a break too. you deserve all of the love you give-- and more. 

@dreamboyunho 🌟 cami, miss cami, my numba 1!!! you’ve always been someone i adore and cherish with all of my heart, but even recently we connected in a different, probably more personal way. it may not have been the best of circumstances but i’m really glad we did! i treasure you so much, and i’m glad i found someone i can truly confide in. we’re like!! two peas of a pod!! i’m really super duper glad i met you and that i can call you my friend.

@jonghostation 🌟 miss adelle uwu you’re so sweet and precious and we need more jongho stans like you (and more jongho stans in general) in this world!! i love talking to you, though recently i’ve been dead and not really socializing but i really do enjoy seeing you around and getting to talk to you!! you’re such a sweet soul and i love you. recently i saw you said you lowkey wish i was your mom?? c’mere baby you’re my child now uwu thank you for being the sweetest angel. aND I COULD NEVER FORGET YOUR ICONIC URL!!! ATINY LESSGEDDIT!!! DROP THE BEAT YOOOOO!!

@celestial-yunho 🌟 nini, you are literally... so talented. i dont know how i managed to score such a talented, loving, and sweet friend. your art!! is so good and im always really excited to see more of what you do. you’re my lil moon witch, and i love you so so much. thank you for giving me the time of day to get to know you, to be able to say that’s her!! thats nini!! thats my friend uwu you’re so precious and i hope you know that!!

@nctyping 🌟 im gonna be honest idek why i first followed you-- not in a like “ugh why did a follow her,,” i literally just cannot remember why i did. either way, it was one of the best decisions i’ve ever made. you’re one of the sweetest people in the whole world and i love reading what you write. like?? teach me your ways ;;; ily abbey!!

@toothgaptual 🌟 sun sun sunshine sunnie!!! okay, we don’t talk a ton, but i love love love when we do get to interact. you always manage to put a smile on my face, and i looove seeing you on my dash. please never ever think you’re bothersome or annoying, and talk your heart out! ilysm you cutie patootie!

@wonderhwalls 🌟 sweetest little flower, i know we’re more recently mutuals/friends, but i’m really glad i met you. talking to you always makes me feel better, whether its about what we’re doing, gifs, breaks, etc. you’re a voice of reason amidst the mess of this world, and i love being able to talk to you when i need a good pick me up. ily mika!!!

@atiteez 🌟 sonia, i literally think you were the first atiny mutual i ever had. i will always, aLWAYS hold you in a special place in my heart. you’re such a precious soul, and you’re lovely inside and out. i still dunno why you call me a moodboard queen-- i’m not thaaat good at that kinda stuff-- but i love you so much nonetheless. thank you for being my friend and helping me step into atinyblr (even though now we’re dying off).

@wlwrensung 🌟 miSS YUKKIIIII i hope you’re having fun on your trip!!! you’re one of my favorite people in the whole world, and i love love love talking to you. i mean?? someone like you??? wants to be friends with someone like me?? idk what you’re on that you wanna, but pls you’re the best ;;;; thank you for looking on someone like me and deciding “that’s it that’s her i wanna be friends with her” i dont deserve you but im all heart eyes bc i get to be friends with you!!

@shikyus 🌟 im an idiot with a brain the size of a pea and the memory of a goldfish. i love you-- i really do!! you’re one of the only people i clicked with immediately, and that’s kinda rare for me. you’re a sweetheart, you’re one of the most lovely people i’ve met, but you’re so chill and cool!! how do you do it?? honestly i’m really glad i met you, because like??? how often can someone say that they met someone and immediately clicked with them? i mean ok it happens often but !!! im still shocked!!! thank you for being my friend, for being super sweet, and kind, and caring-- a-and hopefully forgiving ;;;; im sorry im a dummy ;;;;;; im a big lovable dummy tho!!!!

and last but not least, miss kiki. i know she’s isnt on tumblr for now, but if she ever sees this... i have so much to say. thank you for being one of my best friends, for being one of the sweetest people in the world. i love you, i love everything about you, and i miss you. thank you for being my friend uwu

some other super awesome mutuals that i don’t have a ton to say about (either because we’re new mutuals or i havent talked to you too much yet) that i love with all my heart nonetheless: @meinyunho @fan-chngchng @ultvisual @seonghwalove @han-seungwoo @kthscenery @yooyonqha @woovoung @sanbotaged -- come talk to me more often!! i love to be bothered uwu

super special shoutout to my 3 starlight buddies who came over here and followed me despite originally knowing nothing about ateez and still supporting, loving, and talking to me: @hakjeon @babieken and @hansanghyuked. my longest standing mutuals, and even annie’s more than just a tumblr mutual-- she’s one of my closest friends. i love you guys ;;

now, i can’t leave a special message for every single one of my followers. hell, tumblr won’t even let me tag every single one of you (stupid tag limit), but know that i still love all of you. if i could (aka if i had time and energy), i’d go down the line and personally message each and every once of you to tell you all the important things.

you are all wonderful, you are all lovely, and i’m truly blessed to have all of you following me. remember to smile, to keep your chin up, because when the world gets going tough, i’m always there to support you! i love you all lots lots lots, whether we do or don’t talk. stay sweet, angels!

[pinkykitten]

Nooo honey, don't you say that. You're an awesome writer, underrated as hell. I was gonna request a bunch of things but I didn't really know what I wanted. I'll probably drop some in later today or tomorrow, if I still can. Also planning on being part of the MARVEL Endgame celebration, I'm just afraid to open my requests because I'm a horrible procrastinator and I'm always afraid I'll disappoint people.

omg r u actually talking to me?!?! im sorry im like love your writing, you’re talked in our household. like my sister said that she loves the way this red little person on tumblr writes and she showed me you and im like omg i love her writing as well! so its surprising like you would even know about my blog (of course u prob would with me tagging u in almost everything cringily idek if thats a word prob not) anyways hi, thank you for the lovely things you say it means a lot to me since i really like your writing. 

I always see my writing as like meh, its okay, its not quite how I want it. Some stories are better than others for me. And I’m always open to learning. To growing especially in something I love so much. I’ve always enjoyed writing since I was a child and reading (ugh i love reading so much like ill prob die with a book lol) The thing is I don’t so much need all the followers, because I know that will never happen. I have learned to be humble about things like that. And to let you in on a little secret I don’t think (idk if this even is a secret) my writing is that good that it deserves all followers or like even like a thousand tbh when I first started this I thought I was gonna have 10 and thats it. And 10 was so much for me because I’m like thinking in my head 10 frickin ppl actually like what I’m posting i mean i know some of them are like porn bots and stuff but still! 

I just like to engage with my followers, with the ppl, with my peeps because I want to make them happy. There are days when I feel high (yeah man jk) when I feel happy and encouraged and there are days when I feel discouraged about my writing but I think of course thats normal with writing and whatever you’re writing. I just had high expectations that it was gonna be a celebration and that people would request all the time. I was ready and kinda felt stupid waiting here by my computer like the whole day awaiting a request, just one. I already wrote one of my own to get the ball rolling so maybe I will be the one to do all the stories. Who knows? That would make me a little sad because like I said I wanted a celebration. 

Also its hurts my feelings because I have a life. I have a big family I have to tend to. I have personal things in my life that I have to get to. I also have not been feeling good at all these past couple of days yet I sit here wanting to write for not just them but just wanting to write and write their request because then ppl get mad or inpatient. I just want ppl to be happy on my blog, thats it! if ppl aren’t happy then I feel like kinda like a monster. so if i dont get requests again today i will just go thru it, its not like i havent. i mean what more could i do? 

lol you don’t need to request if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to feel now obliged to do it cause I was sulking lol. But you should totally do a marvel thing as well you would be amazing at it and I would totally participate in whatever you were to do. I did @ardentmuse quiz and let me say that was the best quiz ever it was amazing!!!! so to see all types of writers doing things for marvel first off makes me wanna cry lol and its so much fun cause thats like my fav fandom. But I get what you mean about procrastinating. I kinda do that too lol. Thats my thing too tho! See you get me! I’m afraid I’ll disappoint ppl. Thats me to a T! Thats my fear, and I feel like I sometimes do. Idk my feelings are just all over the place. I usually don’t speak about my feelings on tumblr because I don’t want ppl to think oh she wants to play the victim or look she wants attention. I don’t want any of that. literally u guys should see me writing this im like wrapped up in my blanket wanting to like die in a hole. i feel my feelings are so cringy and like MS. WRITER NOBODY CARESSSSSS!!!! lol but i don’t want like attention at all thats not what im going for at. all. i just want if someone who is also writing has the same feelings as me and they stumble on this blog and read this post and it encourages them or uplifts them in any way. 

just know writers that are famous on here and writers that are starting out, or just writers on here. You matter! You are doing something so difficult and something tedious and awesome. I feel us writers make imagination real. People give us a request and we make it happen for them. Thats hard in itself yet we all have that power to do it. Thank you writers, and you know what if they ask for payment to their writing DON’T JUDGE THEM! DONT HATE! just like you would pay for art well this is art and if they ask for you to pay just pay. Again thank you writers, and thank you darlings that do uplift me and that do read my stuff and that do request I SEE YA! 

and thank you to my big sis cuz she reads my stuff, I love you to infinity and beyond. u r the best sister ever! 

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 3: "This is a lying game. You have to be good at lying." - Michael

It’s sad bitch hours with your boy skinny penis!!!!!!!! Uhm I’m not in a good position I don’t think KSKSKSKSKSKSK Alex told me he, Caeleb, Evan, Jules, and JJ all have a 5 person alliance possibly forming,,, and if you do the math that’s 3/4 of the brigade,,,,, yk,, the one with Jules, JJ, Alex and some irrelevant bitch named ME!!!! Alex is reassuring me saying it’s all for the brigade, but I’m waiting for Jules or JJ to say something about it, or else I’m not gonna feel so good yk??? Like if it’s for the brigade then you should feel comfortable w telling me about it,, like basically all this is telling me is that I’m the most expendable member of the alliance but I die gress,,,,,, Speaking of the brigade idk how I feel about the brigade strategy ? I just feel like there are a lot of moving parts to it, and it lowkey feels like a selfish excuse to have more allies for yourself JSJDJSJSJJSSKS like,,, idk, plus I feel like there are more chances for flipping and I’m like blehhhhh. It’s dumb. Everything’s dumb. I’m dumb. I flopped in the bridge. I’m soooo dumb. Pls destroy me. I’m probs fonna throw this immunity to JJ bc WHILE I LOVE alex’s joking remark about blindsiding him at 18th, I feel like if I try and set it up for a JJ win then it’ll seem like he’s good w everyone and put a target on his back,,, idk!!! Idk. I just want some form of power. I’m hungry. Gimme gimme.

Omg me and Ali are SOOO close to the idol....!!!! unless its already been taken ugh but I was like almost there today but fell at 90 so he will prob get it which is cool better than anyone else !! altho would still be nice to have it hehe . tho knowing my idol history of wasting and being blindsided with it.. .maybe its for the best not for me to have it LOL

So its kinda awk last round I voted Noah I think most people did so now idek what to say to him ahhh . and now its a double tribal soo hopefully its just a repeat but. after this its prob a swap which is scary but I hope I atleast end up with ali or mitch or even jared, and from the other side my queen willow

omg Reuben "sandwich" Studdard, american idol season two WINNER helped me get that IDOL

We shockingly won immunity wow!! That at least saved us from going to tribal and kinda spared Noah if everyone was telling the truth to me before the results.

Then here comes double tribal and first of, it’s good we won immunity on the previous round because the double tribal is screaming a swap next and all tribes will probs be equal in og tribe member numbers. Secondly, if everyone is still in the same page then the target is still Noah.

Honestly tho, I kinda want to target Michael just cuz he threw my name out to Julia. But it’s difficult to go against the consensus even more so because of this twist.

Right now, I’m in an alliance with Jason and Julia which I’m gonna be loyal to. I’ve also got this thing going with Jared where we share information and I think he has something going with Michael? I’m also working my relationship with Ali and Benj, so I’m gonna keep them in my back pocket for now. I’m also a bit close with Mitch. That only leaves Michael and Noah as the people I haven’t really connected with. I mean did talk with Michael about academic and stuff but it’s still hard talking to him hahahaha. Talking to Noah is fine but like from what I’m getting he is the next to go, mainly because Jared and Michael were I think the ones who threw his name out among the others including to me, so it’s hard to become invested to talking to him :((

I’m trying to cover all my bases here, and not be a so oblivious on what’s happening in my tribe. Nicole G is my spirit animal!

me: I should at least try and keep this idol a secret

benj:

benj:

Me: OKAY I FOUND THE IDOL WOO

okay so.... its paranoia o'clock and julia is who the clock struck on.

"i think a couple others might put me as 1"

this is what she said when i told her i was putting her top of my list. this is freaking me out, because a) this means others think she is their top ally b) its just.... what? like... julia is obviously connected and this freaks me out.

in other news, my list for the challenge is probs gonna be this: julia > jared > ian > benj > mitch > jason > michael > noah

julia because she is my ally, jared/benj in 2nd and 4th because that is our plan, ian high because king, mitch/jason middle because kings, and then michael and noah because they are my biggest worries.

i think some shenanigans could happen with this challenge and a twist or something, i don't really know what to think. i don't think i want to win, i feel like i've already got a lot of attention from doing good in challenges, if i win this one thats going to get me even more unwanted attention.

but ya, so otherwise... benj is such a king, he is playing the kind of game (at least I think) that i always want to... just super social and nice, and like lowkey strategic. i think earlier on, i made jason my winner pick, i think he might be a lil' bit too inactive, i think i'm feeling ian or benj as a winner pick now. its defo not gonna be me, have you ever SEEN me play, i'm a whole mess.

okay so... nancy drew hat is on and i'm onto the biggest threat on our tribe. its Ian.

here is the evidence, it comes from two people who freak me out on this tribe. julia and jared.

STAGE 1: Jared sending his list (a choice...?)

This is apparently Jared's list. 1. Ian 2. Ben 3. Jason 4. Ali 5. Michael 6. Julia 7. Mitch 8. Noah

Couple of interesting things here. Jason is high, Ian is VERY high and Julia is low. Already my radar is ping-ping-pinging about Ian being high, because he has been on my radar before, he hasn't got far in games before by fluke, he is smart. Also, I've been feeling for a while (and have been talking to Benj about this), that Jared has other allies, other people he is working with (he is evidently playing multiple sides, but he is obvious so i'm not as fussed). Anyway, so Jared I've felt has been playing other angles, and now Ian is his top choice!

I think I did a smart today too. My 2nd/4th strategy. What it was, was for me/Benj/Jared to put each other 2nd and 4th on our lists, to not sabotage each others' chances of winning, but also not give away our alliance. It had two additional purposes, to allow me to put someone else 1st to build trust, and to see who they put first. Jared put Ian. which... is very interesting. very very interesting. This ties into theory #2

STAGE 2: Julia says Mitch is targeting her....

"Hello!!" - from Ian, at 00:41 "ummm mitch is throwing my name out" - from Julia, at 00:47

okay so this solidifies to me that Ian is defo playing SO smart. When I told Julia she was top of my list, she was.. notably quiet about where I am on hers. And like... i dont care jkalsfda, i don't want to win. But it means, in the very least someone else is first. So with that said, the question is a) who is top b) who told her about mitch. Now I had no idea Mitch was targetting Julia, I think its a dumb, dumb move, since his name has already been thrown out there versus Noah, so he needs to... play a whole lot smarter. But... someone obviously told Julia, and I know it wasn't me, it wasn't Benj (he likes Mitch). I am just now realising as I type this that Jared had Julia about Mitch on his list, so he couldve told her, but I am thinking it was Ian.

I was talking to Julia before her saying Mitch was targeting her. Its only when Ian came online that she knows this? I think Ian is working with everyone, playing it super super smart. I think he is playing all sides, but less blatantly than Jared.

STAGE 3: What the frick-a-frack do I do about this?

Okay so.... an important preface is that... I could be totally, totally misreading the situation. But I have felt since the start that Ian is a better player than he was letting on. But what do I do about it?  Well for starters, I need to look at numbers I know I have. Benj/Jared/Mitch I think are all in my corner, Michael/Jason I could hopefully swing, and Julia is tight with me, Noah.... Noah is tough because he trusts me but also... we like all voted him out last round so we will see what to do about that pickle. So I don't think Ian can make a move on me if he wanted to, and I can't make a move on him.

so we wait. I'm keeping Ian 3rd on my list, because I really really want to keep an eye on him, and wanna get in close. keep your friends close (benj/julia) and your enemies closer (ian). I love Ian, he is a real king, but I'm onto his winner shenanigans, and is he going to march to the end unopposed? Well...

okay hey freaks. my tribe? decided to all snort from the collective crack pile in the middle and lose their HEADS and its unacceptable. UNACCEPTABLE.

first off, my cracked tin foil ian conspiracy? was CORRECT. benj also trusts ian! ian is playing EVERYONE, I'm on to him and I hope this challenge exposes him! I am ONTO YOU IAN! YOUR TRICKS HAVE BEEN OBSERVED.

in other news? budva tribe has lost their ENTIRE minds, and if we go to a double tribal with durmitor? we are going to fracture faster than you can say '18' (coincidentally also the placement i'm getting).

Here is the break down. Noah told Julia that Mitch threw her under the bus, and Noah wants to work with me & Julia. WHICH CRAP, I do not wanna work with Noah because I already voted for him. And in the grand scheme of things, having voted them out is an exceptionally poor foundation for an alliance.

If Mitch seriously threw out Julia's name to Noah, he is exceptionally foolish. WHY. he has already almost been the vote twice, he needs to just NOT AJKLDFASF. i just.... my tribe is driving me absolutely insane. Jared actually is like... back on this planet and being less scary, but Michael is off recharging in his robo-station and GONE, mitch/noah are losing their minds, Julia is leading charges and Ian is playing TOO WELL.

honeslee if its a combined tribal, budva is going to literally explode. explode.

i want to work with noah if he wants to work with me.... but i literally voted for him, how do I get back from that JKLASD. I also want to work with Mitch but he NEEDS to control his mouth, its causing problems. i just want everyone out except benj/jared/julia/jason, the other 4 can go BYEBYE.

So apparently Mitch leaked the vote to Noah and was attempting  to vote out Julia. So I talked to Ali, benj, Ian, and Noah about it and we are all voting Mitch. Depending on what happens at immunity 

(Continued) Mich and Michael were gunning for me??! RED ALERTT RED ALERT WEEEEE WOOOOOO WEEE WOOOOOOOO. Luckly I gathered the forces and we had the majority to vote Mitch. I might have managed to convince Michael to vote Mitch (maybe not? We will see tomorrow) but he doesn't trust me. Womp womp. I mean Michael was not in my immediate line of threats so I don't know why he wouldn't trust me. I guess we don't talk much but it seems like I always have to talk him, it's not reciprocal. 

Okay so it has honestly been a roller coaster.

Following Madeleine's vote I thought that I was going to be in a FABULOUS position, but that was not the case.

Most of the tribe went fucking silent on me. That round brought me to a whole new level of frustration that I can't even DESCRIBE. I was freaking out because I genuinely felt like I was just getting iced out and was going to be eliminated.

As soon as that round from Hell was over, I felt the need to act quickly and harshly to try to improve my position in the game. I took a major gamble by creating 100% false rumor (there wasn't even the slightest bit of truth to it), and took it to Julia. I told her that Mitch had been talking about targeting her to me. Now this was a huge risk because she could've sniffed me out right away, but luckily for me she's kind of nutty and bought it.

With that lie I essentially destroyed whatever alliance Julia and Mitch had. In the process I managed to A) Make Julia feel like she can really trust me to have her back, and B) Increased Mitch's already sizable target to decrease the odds of people coming after me.

I further pushed Mitch's game down the drain by stroking Jared's paranoia that Mitch is plotting against him, but in this case I was actually telling the truth because the truth could be used to my benefit.

So I really have two major goals that I would like to complete within the next 24 hours; 1) Solidify a F3 alliance with Julia & Ali. 2) Send Mitch home.

I suspect that we're going to see a tribe swap after this vote, but just in case we don't swap that soon, I'm already planting VERY subtle, small seeds in people's heads that Matthew should be the next one to go following Mitch.

Overall, the twists being thrown at us early on this season have really forced me to take a much more aggressive, offensive battle strategy. I've essentially found myself in a position where the best way for me to ensure my own survival is to jump on any opportunity to turn my tribemates against eachother.

My hope is that if there IS a tribe swap, it'll benefit me and put me in a more comfortable position where I can lower my profile a bit and stay more under the radar. Obviously it's great to make moves and have some control in the game, but I also know from experience that playing too aggressively for too long is the best way to set myself up to crash and burn.

Literally people are telling me they’re putting me first on their list ahsjdjsjs ok folks assuming y’all aren’t lying immunity could work!!

The scoop that just came in this morning is apparently Mitch is being one hot mess? Julia told us that Mitch threw her name as a target and then Jared told me Mitch leaked to Noah that he was getting wacked had we lose the puzzles challenge. Naturally this made things quite difficult because Noah was obviously the easy vote but here comes Mitch making a mess out of things.

This morning made me realize that Jared is dangerous. He is calling the shots and I won’t be surprised if he actually faked all this information about Mitch being a mess because he did wanted to go after Mitch the previous round before we all decided with Noah. My alliance with Jason and Julia better keep an eye on him. As much as dangerous Jared is, he still trusts me with information so I ain’t getting rid of him yet, contrary to what our friendly neighbourhood robot/Michael is concocting. Jason told us that Michael wants to make a move against Jared now, and uh no I don’t take orders from a robot and he would just replace Jared with himself as the so called king pin of Budva. I’m gonna relay this info of Michael targeting Jared on the wraps until the time to take out Michael presents itself because bringing my name up will get ur ass burnt!! Assuming there ain’t a swap incoming which the likelihood of a swap occurring is VERY.

Julia told me and Jason she’s already in the 60’s on the bridge and me and Jason are here in the 20’s like ok.

I’m also becoming very close with Ali and Benj. right they’re my back up if we do swap and I’m separated from Julia and Jason.

So in summary of this little rant, the targets are Mitch and Noah. Mitch is the more likely to being the one getting whacked and although I do like the guy, him being messy and with the potential of going rogue is a big liability. Although Noah can also go rouge but at least he ain’t messy!!

okay so confession time, since its looking like the vote is kind of finalising.

its looking like mitch, and he is such a king, but he also like... kind of did this to himself? i can kind of understand why he did, like he was the Plan B for both of our previous tribals (even though he was never in jeopardy), but like... particularly since i think its kind of obvious we are swapping after this double tribal, he only needed to ride out one more tribal.

but he just did so so much, like first he threw Julia under the bus to Noah and then with Michael started targeting Jared. Like that just isn't smart, like going to the person who was the other potential vote, to throw people under the bus. Noah I'm sure wants to elevate his own standing, and Mitch literally gave him the ammunition to do so?

also like Jared and Julia are maybe two of the louder personalities on our tribe? Like if he wants an easy target to divert attention off himself, Julia apparently isn't great socially, but also like.. its obvious she was going to be able to rally support for herself, as is Jared?!? Like I get Jared is a threat, he is doing a lot and very clearly at that, but a big move like this while maybe justifiable at merge, is just way too early.

so yeah, at the moment I think Mitch will go 7-2, because I could see at least one of Benj or Michael throwing him a pity vote. I really wanted to work with Mitch, but he would just do... too much, like people were mad at him for his weird feud with Madeline, and like... he just needed to take it easy.

for the swap, i'd like to swap onto a tribe with jules, because LEGEND LOVE THEM. i really hope the swap situation is not 4vs4, i want to build trust with the other tribe going into merge. I really hope Thomas doesn't make merge, he makes me SOOOOO nervous.

also idk if i ever confessed about this, but rip david robb. to reuse an emathia joke (a season he will not remember), david robb-ed.

I’m voting for Willow, and I feel awful because she’s a really sweet girl. But the brigade has to stick to its guns. Willow is the only person excluded from our brigade plan, and especially with a supposed tribe swap coming soon, we need to keep the eight of us as tight as we can be.

Sorry Willow!

so this round has been an absolute cluster fuck and im really emotionally drained because of it. mitch first of all fuck you, you stupid lying ass bitch. you wanted to throw my name under the fucking bus are you fucking kidding me you idiot??? I HAVE BETTER SOCIAL CONNECTIONS RN. I don't even want the damn thought of me leaving rn as an option like are you serious. fuck you!!!! second of all jared is now a target and i'm literally so stressed I cant think straight. but my goal to get mitch out is hopefully gonna work.

As far as the rest of the game goes, I’m kinda scared and kinda excited by the prospect of being so beloved by everyone in the game. I was talking with Alex, and apparently everyone that he’s talked to in this game has mentioned how much they love me when asked about how they feel about the tribe. While it’s a big change from being voted out 9-1 for being “Hostile and unapproachable”, it’s scary. What if that makes me a big threat? I hope not. My fate in this game most likely rests on loyalty, which isn’t a great standpoint to have in a game like survivor.

I’m mitch saying he hasn’t heard anything and Then suddenly saying he’s hearing Jared

Boi what should have been an easy vote for Noah has now become a mess of a vote and your probably gonna be the one hit in the crossfire. Assuming the people who I’ve talked to are being truthful.

Meanwhile Julia, Jason and I have more or less come to a consensus to end Mitch with Julia probably earning Michael’s supposed allegiance since I think Michael is pissed that Mitch had become messy so the robot is now prolly voting mitch and Michael is always talking with Julia?? Idk mess

On a different note, I’m really liking Ali. He’s got a great insight on the status of the game rn and he HAS A DOG!!

Wow at me doing more the 2 confessionals

Shit literally hits the fan when you’re eating breakfast yeah?

Julia crossed the idol bridge only to discover the idol has been found!! Kudos to whoever did that, I only got to 25. Right now everyone is panicking, mitch could have the idol idk Michael could have idol idk

Right now the plan needs to split the vote between Michael and Mitch. I assume none of them won immunity but the idol is still in question. The potential people to be caught in this mess of crossfire will be either mitch, Michael or Jared. It could also be me or it could also be anyone!! Who knows let’s see if I live to tell the tale!!

this vote is a mess, and... i am the cause of it KJLSADFAF.

so julia has learnt that the idol has been found, she told jared, who told... literally everyone JKNLASDFASF. but i have the idol, but people are kind of assuming either Michael or Mitch does which... works for me KLSDAF.

But of course people (especially Jared) want to split the votes. Which YIKES, the Budva tribe is dead six feet under after this for sure EEEK. Like literally... we as a tribe voted Noah OUT, and he is gonna be so comfortable after this vote he DID THAT WHAT A KING.

but yes I think Budva tribe is not going to be able to stick together long term. Like after this vote, Michael and Jared are gonna be out for blood. Noah can sense sharks in the water after last tribal. I'm also now really hoping for a swap, people want Jared out, and if we don't swap, Jared has DIRT on me and benj which could be really problematic aklsdfa.

yeah i think tonight the plan is to split the votes between michael and mitch to save jared? who people literally want OUT this is such, SUCH a mess. we are about to swap and everything is literally going to explode oh god.

in other news, i still have the idol so woo! I APOLOGISE TO MY ENTIRE TRIBE FOR WHEN YOU READ THIS, YOU WILL ALL HATE ME FOR KEEPING THIS A SECRET IM SO SO SO SORRY.

omg imagine if noah made up all that stuff mitch apparently told him and he caused all this chaos (well except for the idol, that was defo me KALSDFSA). his MIND, noah is flexing that big brain on us lesser mortals.

my game is over. jared is going and i want to vote him, but also he will just expose our alliance and idk what we do about that EEEEEEEK.

I swear this is my fucking last confessional for this round. So jared’s messy ass finally caught up to him and now me and my golden girls are flipping the script! If everything goes accordingly jared’s going?? And Noah is the only left out of the loop probs

okay i'm going to confess as much as i can, as quick as i can. the vote is now jared and benj & i have a really cracked scheme to make sure he doesn't expose us. noah is being left out of the vote. benj is voting mitch too, so it looks like jared has two votes alongside him and thus he doesn't expose me and benj?

ITS CRACKED AND A MESS. also jared going and the mess is good, it made me look like a REAL follower which is good news i think.. i was worried about looking threatening.

honeslee cut to jared winning immunity and this mess being... even messier KASLFSADF like honestly i'm just. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

also michael truly terrifies me. i'm freaking out about the vote, and he pops in being like 'hear jason out'. LIKE SIRI I KNOW YOU WANT YOUR CHUM MITCH TO STAY, but its VERY unhelpful to just pop in and make it REALLY clear i'm on the outs K;JLSDFA.

i just am so tired. Julia/Benj/Ian are the only ones I trust, Jason too kinda but he defo runs the show. Michael is just confusing and Mitch/Noah are both not gonna trust me after this vote. I'm so getting screwed over in this swap KLASDFSAF I HATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.