#underthescope | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nozomijoestar · 4 years ago

Text

Analysis on how Kumiko processes her emotions, how it ties into Reina saying she wears a Good Girl mask, and how I think compartmentalizing is the behavior that’s one of her biggest personal struggles (added comparisons of her as Reina’s foil character where relevant, discussions of Asuka’s role in her psychology as well)

Thus far in the show Kumiko’s journey as a person has been about picking life up again. She wants to find purpose, to just live, but before that she needed to desire finding purpose at all. To cite UnderTheScope, Season 1 was about learning why you play; Season 2 is about who you play for.

This is the framework Kumiko is thrust into and measured by. We get context clues, explanation, and character scenes that paint enough of a picture regarding her family without holding the viewer’s hand. The clearest idea we get not from Kumiko herself comes from her older sister Mamiko. While not as intense as it can be, there is a touch of emotional abuse that contributes to Kumiko’s internal struggle of self. It begins with expectations.

As a younger child Kumiko grew up both in her sister’s shadow and holding her as inspiration. To her sister she expresses her belief that from her view, Mamiko got all the parental praise, Mamiko was entrusted with the pride of the family, Mamiko was believed in. By contrast to her, their parents treated Kumiko with a neglectful disdain. What her sister interpreted as their parents coddling Kumiko was instead, in Kumiko’s mind, her parents seeing no potential- no use from her. They allowed her (pushed her into) independence via emotional neglect no matter how civil they treated her otherwise.

They reverted to the bare minimum as parents; they provided her a place to live, food, clothes etc. but they never engaged with her as a person. They didn’t guide her- they ignored her with the exception of reminding her she’s supposed to conform to social standards. Recognition of her identity as an individual was abandoned. Mamiko was already sacrificing her childhood to be the Model Sister, the family legacy.

In her high school years this has an added implication that since Mamiko has disgraced herself by asserting her own identity and life, it’s now on Kumiko to take her place (ie. The brief scene where Kumiko’s father walks home with her while chiding her on picking a career already like everyone else is supposed to). Because there’s no one left to hold up the family values except the failure child.

Kumiko both grew up too fast in having to navigate herself on her own, and also remained childish because she had no one else to mature from. No one to connect and guide her, to teach her. No one but her sister. Then as she grew she watched her sister, the shining pillar, the proof that despite their parents it was possible to cultivate passion, have her will shattered in high school. Their parents won't tolerate her 'childish' dreams and ideas of being her own person. She has to go to the schools they pick, study a college major they think is right, live off their money as long as she's obedient and so on. Mamiko's entire life is uprooted and replaced with what's chosen for her.

(and made to accept being blamed for having that pressure to be adult placed on her as a child, a choice no child can make or should be responsible for- her childhood is taken from her and framed as her fault (parentification & soft gaslighting, victim blaming, I'm not sure how many people see Kumiko's a product of an abusive dysfunctional house even if she's not getting hit or screamed at or physically deprived/violated), and given how their father kicks Mamiko out I think had she asserted herself in HS he would've still thrown a child to the streets- their mother appearing so docile when her husband makes these decisions also suggests further emotional abandonment and seeing passivity as safety; I find it interesting that Kumiko inherited her mother's eye color as well as if symbolically she is repeating her mother's mistake in the cycle- pay attention to Kumiko's body language in the clip, as if she's numb/disassociating because the behavior around her is normal to her)

This moment here cements the lesson within Kumiko that in order to survive and scrape by under her parents roof, she must be detached. She isn't allowed to have unapproved emotional expression and certainly no desires of her own. She has to shut up, shut off, and be pushed along the path ordained for her from birth. And even there no one is expecting her to be good at it; she was the last kid picked for anything after all. Her entire life's purpose to her pre-Kitauji is to be filler in the lives and ambitions of others who are all superior to her. It's how she found the euphonium in the first place, itself a filler instrument, perfect for a cog in the machine.

Kumiko's developed apathy is a coping mechanism alongside her hiding her feelings by either not voicing them or lying by saying what someone wants to hear, so that she can survive an encounter. Because after that childhood experience (and in her continued environment with her parents, whom she only speaks to or mentions in the barest sense and she's always uncomfortable doing so or being near them), everyone becomes a potential threat as she paints the trauma her parents inflicted onto them. It's all she knows. Better to hide away than open up and get hurt. It's not like she's meant to have a life anyway.

This twisted belief she's directed at herself is further validated when she surpassed an upperclassman in skill during middle school. It put her in the way of being verbally abused and insulted as that upperclassman took their anger out on her, further damaging her self esteem. The world appears to agree with her assessment of it as a cold loveless place and reminds her again not to get close or feel or disaster awaits (akin to the Hedgehogs Dilemma). This in turn further destroys her belief and enthusiasm for the one outlet she had kept, music. Even the safe haven she loves has hurt her.

Kumiko's impulsivity and tendency to blurt out her real feelings before covering with lies is in fact her leaking her emotions out when not around her parents. It's her only way to vent somehow or else she'd go insane from stress. She has no better coping mechanism for expression nor much in emotional regulating skills. Her anxiety quite literally has encouraged her to both overthink and act before thinking. A cognitive dissonance. Consequently on principle her emotions are confusing, guarded, and are treated with no emphasis as if they are an afterthought. She won't even allow herself to recognize her trauma and what it does. It's too painful.

Even when she tries healing the damage seeing the loss of her sister's passion, thinking she'll play trombone in high school over euphonium, all she's really doing is running away. Instead of looking within herself to reflect on what euphonium means to her then, she rushes into subconsciously wanting to live Mamiko's dream for her by taking the mantle of Mamiko's old instrument. The pain is so great that she thinks becoming her sister is the answer; so too is her love so deep that she wants to see her sister's dream succeed somehow- so too is her self hatred so great she'd throw away her agency to make another happy.

But of course, her environment (parents + society) demands that she cannot be impulsive either, and as a girl canonically, the social idea that women are not allowed to speak up and must keep quiet on their feelings, always be polite and submissive etc. makes her spiral worse and worse into putting up a fake front. She cannot find a balance because she grew up not knowing what balance/stability even is.

Her difficulty in decision making is damaged by never having a say with her parents and having choices made for her, if she just hides and agrees to scrape by then she won't be pressed into responsibilities/fall under their attention- couple this with a tendency toward avoiding confrontation (again avoiding pain + hurting others as Asuka points out) and Kumiko sitting out on band drama until Asuka's dilemma makes sense.

This dichotomy within Kumiko of mixing lies with truth to protect herself is what I think Reina means by "I'll tear off your Good Girl Mask". Reina demonstrates from the moment she appears that she values honesty. Reina is no nonsense, upfront, her words are her real opinions with all the bullshit cut away. She hates deception, dishonesty, false modesty, inaction, and whatever is not earned by merit of skill or mental drive.

It makes sense as she is proud and ambitious, but most of all she is passionate. She is emotional to the point of being so straightforward and at times forgoing logic. Emotion is both her weapon and reason for living; emotions are her world. Consequently Reina also has an excellent bullshit detector to navigate who she favors and interacts with.

She is also highly perceptive and intuitive, she simply chooses if she will show what she knows or not. She was able to see through Kumiko almost immediately once they had a conversation longer than a word or sentence. This uncanny talent is not far off from what Kumiko is also capable of (likely a manifestation of Hypervigilance to defend against her parents by constantly reading their intentions/anticipating pain) She just covers up her observations with lies until she makes a slip. Being able to tell right away, this is why Reina describes Kumiko in terms alike to herself when discussing her true nature ie. "You act normal but I feel like you see through people." / "You act like you don't notice things but you do."

Kumiko and Reina are two sides of the same coin. Kumiko is Pathos concealing Logos and Reina is Logos concealing Pathos. Logic vs. Emotion with both having an aspect of the other. Both using either principle as a cover for their true motivation as people.

Kumiko being the Logic side of this duality while Reina is Emotion is apparent from their introductory scene. When I mention Logic and Emotion in this way I mean the core of their character; their first scene is one of the most raw and unguarded ways we ever see them in the entire show thus far. It's necessary since we don't know them when we start the series, we see what they're about in their hearts immediately.

At her most extreme shown thus far, Kumiko is not only Logic but cold rationality. She has a realist streak that has a level of ruthlessness. When she reminded Reina Taki's wife is dead before saying she'd cheer for her, the delivery and intent behind it has emotion drained from it. His wife is dead; anyone is free to take her place, that's just what it is. No more and no less. Kumiko has internalized her father's rationality where there is no room for feelings. She even sounds like him whenever she has shared her real thoughts offhandedly.

The passive emotional front Kumiko wears is her mother, the blunt logic to her honesty is her father. From them she has inherited a legacy of pain.

Reina as Kumiko's foil is an excellent look at who Kumiko might've been. A Kumiko born with a gift for music, of esteemed family, and endless connections to the music world. A Kumiko ruled instead by passion over logic.

We know even less about Reina's childhood background in the show; there are however a few helpful hints along with taking her character as a whole. I want it clear that the fundamental link between Reina and Kumiko is their loneliness. Yes they have what the other struggles with but what connects them as similar people is the loneliness they know as individuals. Never is that more straightforward than with Reina.

She has no siblings, no friends, a father distant due to work and who's trumpet reputation casts a shadow for her to exceed and expectations of her abilities. Her mother is implied to care for her and her well-being with two lines I think people consider throw away. Her mother worries for her safety in telling Reina to take trains late at night, and keeps Taki's wife secret in order to, like Kumiko, presumably protect her emotionally.

Though we don't know much else we can infer Reina had a slightly better childhood and current household. Her mother is a source of love that as far as is shown, didn't have a period of pinning blame on her the way Mamiko did to Kumiko. However because there isn't much here I can't speculate beyond whatever way Reina was raised, at some point she put faith in emotions. This may have been from emotions being encouraged or lack of discipline (to inject stronger adherence to logic) in some manner. But that is our baseline.

Next Reina's early childhood immediately saw her shunned even when peers tried connecting. She was simply too good, too gifted. Everyone of her age, being children, reacted in jealousy; they also just couldn't keep up with her skills. None had the maturity (being little children) nor bravery to look at her as a person beyond her music talent.

This could extend to the adults in her life during childhood too. As @/mossheartlesbian pointed out to me, it's possible Taki got Reina's childish love because he was a father she never had enough of mixed with misunderstanding of how to distinguish love's various forms. She childishly clings to love needing to be romantic. I wanna add it may also have been because he was the only person (outside her parents possibly) to show her kindness and treat her like a human while setting boundaries as she's a child.

Now, outside of her parents encouraging reliance on emotion, it's also possible Reina clings to emotion because no one stuck with her. She didn't have anyone to bounce off of socially, someone who could challenge or be a voice of reason/offer a pragmatic perspective. Thus, all those pent up feelings come to control her so that she never matured enough to control them. Emotional regulation is one of her weaknesses. Taki being in her life probably made her affection for him stronger as he was the one person treating her like he understood her level.

Where Kumiko became lonely and held in her feelings, Reina became lonely and got lost coping in her feelings.

Reina therefore is the perfect person to understand Kumiko spiritually. She sees herself in Kumiko, values her honest core beneath the lies, and it's likely it's because she's so emotional that she puts emphasis on honesty and people who want to or can defy a system. She believes Kumiko can be more than what she is. Because society discourages and can be hostile to people who can't stand its masks, she clings to another who is special (outcast) as she is. She feels seen with Kumiko.

All she wants throughout the story is for Kumiko to believe in herself too. Take away all masks, let go of judging herself by how she should be, be herself no matter how scary it gets. I believe the reason she speaks of this somewhat cryptic to Kumiko is because she wants Kumiko to come to the realization of her aim on her own without trampling on her agency. Also she's childish and dramatic and homosexual.

I have an idea that the reason Reina says she loves pain and doesn't mind if Kumiko had hurt her in being outright on Taki's wife may be tied to feelings of inferiority. She's been socially isolated her whole life and may feel she deserves pain since her mere existence drove others away. But that is a separate thing to expand on in a Reina analysis.

If Reina represents Kumiko needing to learn comfort in expressing herself, Asuka represents a need to reconcile Kumiko's past. How can she be an honest person like Reina if she doesn't learn how to not leave regrets?

Asuka is just as lost as Mamiko and seemingly destined to repeat her mistake. This similar core clashes in that Asuka's outward behavior completely dismisses the impression that Asuka is suffering. She is even beloved by the band and is aware some resent Haruka for taking Band President duties even when it was at Asuka's insistence. However it is here where she is in fact a mix of Kumiko and Reina.

She is a euphonium prodigy who could do whatever she wants with music. Her father is a respected euphonium player who stands among the apex of the musical world. Doors others struggle to reach would open before her, and paired with her natural charisma she wouldn't want for socializing either. She portrays her outward behavior as largely emotional, wise, energetic, perceptive, and playful. It's not a mistake to call her the heart of the band during her time as a student.

However her inner self is judgmental of others. She comes from a broken house with a father who vanished and a mother who resents her for being his daughter. Cynicism has become her default worldview; like Mamiko expectations of how she must be are forced on her but without the "rescue" of any siblings to replace or share her burden. Her mother not only views her musical passion as a ploy to continue how her husband hurt her, but sees Asuka as an investment she is entitled to reap reward from and have absolute control.

She faces her mother's callousness and abuse alone. Her one outlet is music and the childlike desire to reach her father (a potential symbol of hope in the unknown rather than stay with her mother) through euphonium.

Though she does want to socialize in the band she is at heart too used to negativity and distrust. She is lonely but convinced its safer to stay there. Her soul is guarded with layer after layer that tells her no matter how she gets on with others, they will all betray or doubt her when they please.

This is an extreme version of Kumiko's own emotional distance. While both pretend to get along but really keep others at length, Kumiko doesn't assume others will attack her to the level Asuka does.

Kumiko instead fears most of all being the one who hurts others. Asuka however expects violence and opposition at every turn. She is on a dangerous balancing act of parenting/enduring her mother, wanting to connect to people, and being unable to fully trust the world. She's growing up too fast; her childhood is being taken from her. Rather than continue fighting it she is ready to submit to the current.

This furthering of the Hedgehogs Dilemma extends to Mamiko as well. Similar to Asuka aside from their fates, Mamiko let resentment and distrust fester inside her. Having come from the same house as her sister she displays the same emotional suppression and social detachment. She remains jaded as she became in high school; instead of managing herself and being open to expressing and working out her problems, she eerily also becomes similar to Asuka's mother.

She views her sister continuing music as Kumiko personally taunting her since she could keep going in band but Mamiko had to give up. When Kumiko so much as listens to music, Mamiko reacts with rage, taking it as mocking. It never helped that she didn't have the strength to tell Kumiko how their parents bullied her into giving up band; now when she's confronted with Kumiko's confusion and emotional turmoil to see her only real family in disarray all she can do is lash out.

Her pain from the wound of leaving music is both a source of immense jealously conflicting with enduring familial love. It seems she didn't tell her sister the truth to protect her innocence (suggesting she does care deeply for Kumiko as her only acknowledged family and she probably defended her from their parents/parented her too), but she lacks the communication skills to properly convey anything more than her anger. All their house has taught her is anger.

Both Mamiko and Asuka represent those who sacrifice themselves for causes that could care less about them. They drown in pressure after pressure and can only escape if they claw back out. Both of them have learned only the ills of the world from their parents; in turn they inflict ill on others, even their loved ones. The cycle of abuse chains them until both are set free by Kumiko's growing confidence and enlightenment. Particularly in that Asuka despite maintaining her cruel cynicism, still feels a kinship with the similarly repressed Kumiko.

They learn it's ok to feel, it's ok to be vulnerable, it's ok to be human. It's unfortunate then that for all the miracles Kumiko accomplishes, the person she hates most is herself.

The pinnacle example of Kumiko being unable to have confidence in her emotions to instead detach them is the scene that started this essay. Mamiko leaves home forever, Kumiko cannot admit to her sister her pain, love, and how much she means to her. The one guardian she ever had is gone and the shock of it pulls her into numbness and denial of emotion. To admit those emotions especially in front of Mamiko is to receive pain.

Without warning after their talk, Kumiko's mind wanders on the train to school. The pain is too much, it explodes subconsciously as she remembers her sister. Her body can no longer contain what her mind refuses to see. She cries without realizing she's crying.

Though she's made strides everywhere else Kumiko still can't fully accept she is human. And being human means emotions, which means vulnerability not just with others but also yourself. Her sister leaves her a final piece of advice. Don't have regrets.

This is what makes her snapping to tell Asuka her cynicism will destroy her and that to Kumiko, who has found in her the same love as her sister despite everything, so powerful. Kumiko is not only expressing an honest desire in wanting to play with Asuka at Nationals but is finally taking part in standing up against what she feels is wrong. She is embracing her emotions, she's taking a side. She's not afraid to protect those she loves even if it means she should be hurt.

Confronting Asuka leaves them both raw and open in a way they haven't been their whole lives. It is a turning point that proves love is the one true victor over despair.

Kumiko embraces emotion again when thanks to Shūichi, Mamiko attended her performance. She will not let her sister fade away. Instead the same Kumiko who lied all her life to stay safe screams out her love for her sister in front of the world.

Kumiko is at last on the path to living not surviving. Of course however, change doesn't stick overnight. These two instances may have awakened Kumiko to who she can be, how she's special like Reina, but now she must move forward holding on to that self. Through facing pain she inherits the will of love. Her emotions will finally make her accept her humanity.

#hibike! euphonium #kumiko oumae #reina kousaka #asuka tanaka

70 notes · View notes