#unmedicated and without a brain

[lyxchen]

Maxine is so adhd and it's actually painfully obvious to me, I love her so much!!!!

[raspberryzingaaa]

God bless my Doc but dude I need you to stay on top of your game even if you are retiring next month. Like what do you mean you didn't put a refill on my med prescription after I came in for my regular 'yes meds work good renew prescription pls' appointment. Jon. Jon please my adrenaline receptors.

[hyp3rfixation-h3ll]

fun fact i was SO scared i'd lose interest in botbots quickly bc of my ADHD making it hard to stick to ONE thing for long periods of time (dopamine and whatnot), but flash forward to now and im making fanfiction about it and posting it and making redesigns of the characters and writing literary analyses for it (WHICH I HAVENT DONE SINCE I WAS LIKE 11-13 ON DEVIANTART/AMINO) and i 4got how good it feels to latch onto something and have it be Your Brand until the heat death of the universe

[phagodyke]

nvm my work health insurance doesnt even cover adhd treatment anyway so basically if I cant get it accepted by my gp I'm fuuucked

[eddiegettingshot]

the narrative around eddie being this inherently unstable irreparable guy is really funny to me because in reality he absolutely has heretofore unobserved mental fortitude that allowed him to experience kim’s dead wife roleplay, chris walking in, his girlfriend dumping him, his parents showing up out of the blue to emotionally manipulate him, bobby literally DYING, and chris leaving. all in the space of perhaps 24 hours. without keeling over dead. he even went to work. all of this raw sober and unmedicated. God’s strongest soldier steel brained eddie diaz

[alicentsgf]

its not a big deal just something i’ve been turning over in my brain but it did really strike me how many people explicitly wrote Lottie off when I did that ‘who would have gone Pro’ poll and even said it was because if her illness. like I get it because we see how deeply it effects her life, but ultimately it wouldn't have done, not to the same extent, without the extreme trauma she experienced whilst unmedicated in the Wilderness and resulting psychotic break. I don’t want to pretend it wouldn’t have still effected her in profound ways throughout her life, but we have no reason to believe that medication and support weren't doing their job and wouldn’t have continued to, especially with the wealth and resources Lottie had. Profound mental illness doesn’t innately exclude people from happiness and success. Lottie was ill… but she was also confident, talented, and ambitious. They aren’t mutually exclusive.

[somerandomdudelmao]

Hey!

I don’t know if you’ve ever answered and ask like this, but i was wondering how you stick with a comic series. How do you manifest plot and such and stick with it without later deciding it’s not good enough for your tastes and completely changing or dropping it as a whole?

You see, uh.

I have unmedicated ADHD, so I know for a fact that as soon as this comic stops entertaining me, I'm gonna drop it.

So every time I sit down to draw and I feel like I'm not interested in doing it, I kind of...change the plot. So my brain doesn't get bored of drawing the comic because it's literally a new comic every time.

That probably sounds crazy and very unprofessional haha

But yeah

Im changing it constantly ~

[adventuringblind]

Medication Mishaps

Landoscar x Reader

Genre: Fluff and Crack

Summary: When a mix-up in meds leaves her without any, Lando and Oscar are there to her navigate without them.

Warnings:

Notes: for @norizznorris. Sorry I don't do male readers! Regardless, I hope this is what you wanted! :)

Side Note: This one made me laugh the entire time while writing it. My fiancé is unmedicated and very high on the ADHD spectrum. Every day is an adventure!

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

Ah, the joys of being neurodivergent. When somehow the world is to much and simultaneously to little. When the nagging impulsive thoughts and continues need for caffeine aren't enough, then the interests that lay dormant for years come back swinging; upset they've been neglected for so long.

Medication helps. Which - of course it does - it's engineered brain chemicals in the form of a chalky pill designed to help someone function in a world where only one kind of brain is excepted. It's better than it was, the world has come further in recent years.

yet here she is, taking her last pill from the bottle. A little piece in her cries knowing she'll have to go pick up her new meds today. The pharmacy feels like to much and she'd rather lay in bed and give into the executive dysfunction. Then she remembers she's flying with Lando and Oscar to their race tomorrow.

With that thought in mind, she groans and hauls herself out of bed. The boys are doing factory work today and won't be back until later. Plenty of time to come home and waste away the hours in bed and pray her energy comes back.

~~~~~

She lied to herself earlier. Any optimism for the day has just disappeared.

"What do you mean you don't have my meds?"

"There was a mix-up with the orders, but we'll have them in a few days." The pharmacist gives her a sheepish smile.

She just sighs and turns on the balls of her feet. How she's going to tell her boys, she has no idea yet. The insecurity of them not wanting her around the paddock because of in burns in the back of her mind.

She still has today at least. Maybe she'll just ride it out and not tell them.

That plan fails miserably the second they walk into the flat. The sight of her visibly distressed on the couch alerts them that something is wrong.

The sit down on either side of her. The question trying to escape their mouths. She beats them to it. "There was a mix-up with my meds. I won't have them until after we get back."

"And we'll help you manage, yeah? You'd do the same for us."

"Lan... she has done the same for you, like, daily."

"Rude!"

~~~~~

Sometimes, she's convinced she lives on a different planet entirely. Like the brain and body she has are simply not meant to be here and there must have been a mistake with the storks.

Lando hands her a Redbull, courtesy of Max since he has to many. "I figured this might help?" Seeing as she nearly just threw hands with whoever was chewing unnecessarily loudly, caffeine might help.

She looks at Lando and Oscar, between the three of them, there are seven drinks. Only one of which is the Aussie's. "Oscar is being boring again."

the man in question huffs. "Water is good for you."

"But it's wretched to taste sometimes."

Lando nods at her in agreement. "See Oscar, boring."

"Nothing is ever boring with you two."

~~~~~

The beginning wasn't bad. Not like it is right now with her brain only wanting to do one specific things, she hasn't remember to eat since early this morning, and the tag on her shirt makes her want to pull her skin off.

Oscar looks at her curled up in his drivers room with a horrendous amount of care and sympathy. He slots in next to her and leans his head against the wall. "Hard day?"

"I need like - five pounds of dino nuggies and a nap."

"Anything I can do to help right now? We'll work on food when Lando is done."

She curls up in Oscar's lap like a cat. The lack of regulated sleep finally catching up to her. She's on the verge of sleep when Lando busts through the door yelling about something.

She throws a pillow at him in annoyance. "You owe me food."

Lando pauses. "That sounds brilliant."

Oscar shakes his head in defeat later that night as Lando gradually sneaks food off her plate and pretends they can't see him. If he's not caught then it didn't happen and Jon can't get mad at him.

~~~~~

She hasn't stopped talking with Lando for the last two hours. What exactly they've been going on about, she has no idea at this point. Their original conversation led to rabbit trails and other distractions that got in the way. The original story now long forgotten as they discuss the possibilities for new shoes.

Her phone dings, an automated message alerting her to her refilled meds. She shows Lando in excitement. The joys of functioning like a human again are nearly in her grasp.

Lando and Oscar both look at her in amusement. The latter has been using their conversation as an excuse to read. He sets his book down, a look she hasn't seen before crossing his features.

"Have you ever thought what it would be like if you didn't have to take meds?"

Lando shoots him a nasty glare. "Oi, she can't help-"

"Not what I meant." The Aussie crashes onto the bed with them, book now tucked away. "I just mean that having a different kind of brain shouldn't be such a difficult thing for the world to cope with. But the second someone is different-" He looks at Lando. "-Like they struggle with reading or processing information." Then he turns to her. "Or they struggle to with focusing and sensory things. They are ready to create some kind of fix to make those brains work like theirs." The genuine concern and sadness from him is almost heartbreaking.

"In a perfect world, yes. For now though, I think me and Lando can both settle for having someone who cares as much as you do."

"Just wish I could do more."

Lando hums and, quite literally, rolls over onto Oscar. "Just like our best is enough, so is yours."

"However, if the world could provide me with free drinks, I wouldn't be complaining."

Oscar chuckles and drags her closer despite Lando's weight on him. "I'll make a note of it for when I become ruler of the world."

"You never said you were planning that!"

"It's been my secret plan this whole time."

"... It's always the quiet ones."

[karlachismylife]

Me: scrambling to finish homework before my linear algebra class

My brain: can you imagine fem!ghoap tho?

I can't, I'm my biggest fucking enemy. BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE FEM!GHOAP THO?

Fem!Soap has absolutely Harley Quinn vibes, batshit crazy with a sprinkle of pyromania and several decades of unmedicated ADHD. If Soap got his haircut inspiration from some local punk band in his hometown, fem!Soap was the leader of said band, adding to Mam's grey hair every time she returned with new tattoos. Was playing football, when a new kid tried outcasting her cuz she's a girl, went on to beat the shit out of him.

That story about a higher ranking officer Soap punched? Sleazy motherfucker was harassing other women on the base and was unfortunate enough to choose fem!Soap as a target.

Walks around in tank tops and sport bras, all muscle no boobs, probably has a couple fake teeth, always is the one fellow female soldiers turn to when they need to get rid of assholes in the pubs they go for drinks to. Absolutely relishes in being called a "fucking butch" and whatever else those pathetic men try to throw at her, quickly fizzling out when they realize her biceps is the size of their thighs. She worked hard to be better than them, no matter how much some of her family wanted her to be a bit more... traditional. Not her Maw, though, Maw always said if her little Jenny wanted to be a soldier, she could be a damn good one.

Regularly participates in armrestling matches (banned in several pubs where she got carried away and broke someone's wrist) and pays for the round whenever she wins.

All those girls (and some guys) hanging off her elbows, and everyone assumes she's going home with one (or several) of them every time.

And fem!Ghost? She might have a horrible reputation, people spreading disgusting rumors about her past and what's under that mask (doesn't bother her, truth is so much more gruesome). Keeps to herself, grim sense of humour doing nothing to make her seem more approachable. A looming shadow, the personification of horrors they tell about what war and captivity do to women - and that's for those who actually know she's a woman. Most people just assume she's a big fucking guy, loose hoodies helping pass, deep, hoarse voice - never came back as it was from the time with Roba, broken by her screams with an ugly scar on her throat on top - only adding to confusion.

Too much baggage to unpack, all those things done to her easier to cut off with the dirty blond hair she buzzes to avoid the fuss. Every chance of having a family robbed of her in horrific ways, loneliness feels safer. Easier. Everyone's better off without needing to bear all those tons of crap she hoards on her broad shoulders.

Sits apart from the main company on those outings, nursing her bourbon and freaking people out - if she gets hit on, she sends everyone off with a few words. Even Soap, the blasting (sometimes too bloody brightly) sunshine, seems to fail with illuminating that shadow, all her attempts to get closer shut down. Maybe not as harsh as the others, but Ghost thinks - everything she touches is destroyed in torturous ways.

Soap shouldn't suffer because of her.

Until one day the chair in front of her lone table gets dragged back with a disgusting screeching sound, a heavy thump signaling of a huge (drunk) body plopping down across. Ghost doesn't need to look up - she can detect Soap by the stupid mutt's loud breathing, for fuck's sake. How many did she have?

Too many, thinks Ghost when a tanned arm lands on the table, resting on the elbow in a ready to wrestle stand. Must've been some kind of bet, no one else brave enough to challange big Scottish butch - so bored Soap, naturally, comes to one person she probably deems a worthy opponent.

"Not gonna let me back out, are ya?" Ghost shakes her head with a chuckle and finishes her bourbon, putting the glass down lazily and forgetting to pull the mask back down.

Soap's arm hits the table so hard it nearly cracks the wood - mere seconds.

Disarmed by a crooked, scarred smirk her big blue eyes are so obviously glued to.

"What now? Buy me a drink?" Ghost tilts her head. There's a shocked crowd around them, someone collecting a hefty win.

"Buy ye two and ye owe me a rematch."

Stupid mutt with blue eyes. Ghost wonders if she'll whine like a puppy riding her burly thigh.

i have somewhat a part two here

[s-4pphics]

idk what this is i just needed some sad shit so i wrote more post santa barbara really quick not proofread not edited okay bye love yall

People from the old world used to do it before everything went to shit.

Soulmates, y’know. Fallin’ in love and all’at.

‘S how I found my wife. By

Dating.

A bunch of bullshit. All respect to Maria and Tommy; but dating, marriage, possible children if no one dies from unmedicated childbirth… Then what?

Obtaining the honor of retelling your life accomplishment of having found a soulmate… who got ripped to shreds by hoards of mindless fucks. Just too star-eyed and dumb to sense danger despite it staring them in the eye. Tommy should know better; he ended up blind and handicapped and lonely, all for love. It’s a shock he isn’t as equally pessimistic.

Closeness. Intimacy. Being lovestruck in a time where its end is doomed, it’s all a fucking bullshit distraction.

Jesse would’ve hated what you’ve become, what Jackson’s become. You sense it everytime you look his toddler in the eye. What once was filled with hopeful solitude is now lost. Empty. A separate league of infected.

Life is now as depressing as death.

There’s nothing for humans. Nothing for all life. Simply following a dead trail until its abrupt end, right through the brain or chest, or slow and calculated. Until another discovers what the world has lost, kicked to the side and bloody.

JJ is awfully silent these days. Toddlers should cry and scream and laugh until their lungs fail them, but whenever Dina spoon feeds him mashed potatoes, he just swallows. Opens his mouth, swallows, and waits for the next bite. Dina excuses it, says that he’s patient like his dad, but whenever you look at him, and he looks at you, there’s a mutual understanding.

Everything is pointless.

One by one, residents vacant the canteen, leaving in silence to drown in labor, to sleep until their bodies wake from overrest. To cry. To hate. On a constant hunt for distractions.

When JJ finishes, Dina scarfs down whatever he’s left behind, barely grimacing like she’s nauseas. She hides her disdain well. All for her son.

She says goodbye so softly, pushing your untouched plate closer to you. Always encouraging.

She leaves with her baby on her hip. Your plate is shoved to its original position when she’s out of view. The sight makes you ill.

The potatoes and Ellie.

She’s the physical embodiment of everyone. Beaten and lost, functioning on autopilot. She wears it more than anybody, you’d argue. The heft of loss.

Her return from suicide is never lost on you. Wordless, bloodied, stabbed, bitten again—a secret you’re keen to—nothing was hidden or bandaged, not even her injured hand. She bared her battle for all eyes. You’ve never seen Tommy so hollow. That felt like ages ago. Shame washes over him whenever he looks at her.

Sometimes, you wonder if they still speak.

You could ask. She’s two tables down from you, just staring at her plate. You recognize Joel’s jacket. It almost swallows her.

By the looks of it, she’d hate company. He always liked mashed potatoes. Such a grandpa.

… And it clicks. Another day wasted on mourning. She’d definitely hate company.

The young years of rambunctious Ellie feel like a fever dream—sometimes you doubt ever experiencing them, but your scars are living proof of your ventures. Causing raucous and getting into trouble in the middle of the night. You two fought so often, but when you reunited… Pranks galore on the adults. Joel tried to hate them, tried to scold—to parent, but it never worked. Much too laborious to tame a rascal, too exhausting to parent without structure.

The distance only expands between you now. There’s always an ache when you catch glimpses at her. With her, for her.

And she feels it.

That could be why she hurts for you just the same.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

This may be a bit personal, but I recently got an ADHD diagnosis (whee) and my psychiatrist immediately started me on meds, which I am still rather leery of (especially since the first trial turned me into a dissociated and uncommonly stupid zombie). I was wondering if you take medication yourself and how you feel about the whole thing.

Woo, congratulations!

Personally I am still waiting on the medical diagnosis waiting list - I've flagged up on all screening systems Occupational Health can throw at me, but the NHS takes a couple of years to diagnose you, and you need that before you can start meds.

SO, I am not really a useful person to ask about this. But, for what it's worth, my stance:

Whether you try meds or not is ALWAYS a personal decision, based on a lot of things! I have plenty of friends who chose not to, because their lifestyles weren't impacted badly enough by their unmedicated ADHD to be worth the side effects; they found other methods to manage it that brought the challenges down to manageable levels. Others have jobs or other commitments that are simply too difficult to manage without.

With any pharmacological intervention, the precise quantities that work for any one person will be specific to them. The margin for error varies in size between conditions, but with medications that affect brain chemistry, that margin of error is small.

This means it may well take a while to find the brand and dosage that actually works for you. I have a student who hit gold immediately, and a friend who took two years to get it right.

Whether the positive effects are worth any negative side effects is also very personal to you.

I personally do want to try medication, once I get a formal diagnosis. But, as I say, I have friends who don't. Plus, medical providers are always a complicating factor. One former student with fairly severe ADHD ended up unmedicated because her doctor insisted that she should take (IIRC the actual figures) 30g daily, and she wanted to just start with 10g. He wouldn't compromise on it, so she chose to go without. Which is a shame, because Christ, she is someone who would really, really benefit from it, shall we say.

Anyway, I expect others will chime in, so keep an eye on the notes. Good luck, and remember that dosage is something to play with as well as brand!

[lottienathive]

I just realized a cool connection, maybe other people did already (I’m slow):

In the second episode of the first season, with the fallout of the plane crash, Misty takes an axe to Coach Ben’s leg, shocking everyone.

She shocked Lottie the most, with the camera immediately panning to Lottie and her screaming out.

I think it’s so interesting that she was the one we see during that moment, how horrified she was… because she eventually went on to take an axe to the frog scientist’s head and smear his brain/blood to her face, without a care in the world.

I love that it’s kind of full circle, showing how much Lottie changed. From freaking out to being the axe-wielder. She was not the same Lottie.

I think it shows that the writers actually did a lot of planning ahead. We know they planned to have the frog scientists come in for their original pitch to have them be a plot twist. But it’s interesting to see they probably even knew that it would be Lottie that killed the scientist. I know that was pretty obvious in their minds, but it’s cool that they probably intentionally subtly focused on Lottie on that scene, even though Misty was originally the one we paid attention to. They even made the connection right down to it probably being the exact same axe!

i'll be honest with you, after the mess that was this season, i feel kind of hesitant to give the writers that much credit. i'm sure they did plan some things in advance but i'm also convinced they are making a lot of shit up as they go and sometimes they get lucky and the pieces of the puzzle just so happen to fall in the right place.

but that's an interesting connection and a jarring juxtaposition for sure. it really shows how much lottie's mind has deteriorated after spending so much time unmedicated and plagued by "visions" and without being able to tell what's real and what's not and how that's affecting her moral thinking...

SHE WAS JUST A GIRL YOUR HONOR SHE WAS JUST A GIRL

[charl0ttan]

its been forever since ive gone without my anxietydepression meds and my mind is melting i cannot believe this is the best my brain can give me unmedicated. i was not built to last

[stealthetrees]

Okay I’ve snapped.

If you say Percy Jackson is stupid I will find you and make sure you regret it.

I have inattentive type ADHD. I was diagnosed in 4th grade and got put on medication. I did not think there was a difference but I got an award from the school for how much I improved. They didn’t know it was because of meds.

Before I was diagnosed I remember being on the verge of tears often at school because I got so frustrated that I couldn’t do work. I sat at my desk with the pencil in my hand staring at a worksheet physically unable to write the awnser I knew. I would stare at the question and like an optical illusion the rest of the page blurs together and I can’t even make out word anymore.

I thought I was dyslexic for the longest time because some fonts are so difficult for me to read. I could look at a recit, know it says lettuce, and it will not process in my brain. Unless I am a few hours away from a deadline it is nearly impossible to start assignments. Essays are hell.

You know those songs that have an American accent but are completely nonsense? That’s what it sounds like a lot when I listen to people talk. Usally I can grasp the general meaning but I can not tell you what word you just said.

Time is not real. I sit down, scroll through tumblr for maybe 15 minutes and my roommate asks why I’m sitting doing nothing for 4 hours straight. Full days disappear and I can’t remember anything that happened. I have no idea how long it takes me to do something I do almost every day.

I went two weeks at the beginning of the semester with meds that where 10 milligrams lower than my usual dosage. My grades still haven’t recovered.

THAT SAID. In cannon, Percy Jackson passed 13 years of school with high enough grades to be accepted to a university. Not medicated. Without accommodations.

So either the education system in New York is taylored specifically for people with ADHD, or Percy Jackson is a fucking geinios. I can’t spell.

So ignoring the fact that nearly every fight he won by outsmarting his opponent, let me tell you why.

In the books, he’s an introvert, sits in the back, tries to keep his head down but usually fails, gets detention often, and has been expelled multiple times. That’s not the kind of kid teachers go out of their way to help. He’s also unlikely to ask for help. So, despite his struggles in the classroom, he has never been held back or had to redo a grade as far as we know. And it’s pretty likely considering his age.

Add in the fact that he would be constantly sleep deprived from staying up very late (like from 10-3, based off my experience) and his dyslexia, Percy would need to be really good at retaining information after hearing or seeing it only once. That’s actually supported by his ability to memorize prophecies word for word after only hearing them once. We know Percy is bad at taking tests, so he would have to be really good at recalling information.

He also did it all unmedicated. I want to cry just thinking about it.

tldr, the fact that Percy’s grades where high enough to get into college means hes fucking brilliant

[tirfpikachu]

sometimes i feel like, in certain cases, "detrans woman" and "nonbinary woman" ain't too different. and could even be used simultaneously by the same person without much issue. after all, isn't processing internalized misogyny and escaping the gender roles box for womanhood also a way someone can at the same time not feel like a binary man, not feel like a binary woman, but not feel like a not-woman either? after unlearning all the bullshit male society taught us, it can be destabilizing and create distance between us and other women. we might no longer feel like a normie woman. we've been awakened. we're no longer a gender roled woman, rolled up in everything she was taught she needed to be or she would fail at womanhood. we're an unfailible woman, we can't get a bad grade in womanhood bc we don't care about gender grades. we know it's all bullshit. we took back the power patriarchal society had over us. in that sense, we're not willingly binary anymore. and i think, over time, it's only going to get harder and harder to find women who are happily into the gender roles, the gender box assigned to them.

people fucking hate that, ofc. especially male people, and doubly so cis/bio men. they hate that we're awakened women. they hate that we found feminism and sisterhood and go detrans or use nonbinary in addition to woman, bc we reconnect with our body type and our upbringing. and by they, i mean both sides btw. the patriarchy hates that we found our power, of course. non-feminists scoff at us.

and... mainstream trans activists hate that our journey got us here, and hate how we make dysphoria seem curable in unmedical ways and transness more complex than they like to think. we complicate things. they hate that they found power in changing themselves (whatever makes them feel at peace ofc), while we tried to as well, but in the process we found our power was within us all along. we found that just being neutrally sexed animals, just female humans, female animals, girls the way that one calls a cat a sweet girl, cat first girl second, human first girl second... our bodies, our gender category, don't define us. anymore, anyways. anyone who defines us by our womanhood is a bigot, and we scrubbed our brains free of all the shit patriarchal brainwashing left in us. and for us, personally, it was enough to free us. that's not the case for anymore. some folks need more than that. some folks need to modify themselves beyond recognition to feel at peace with themselves. but i do hope they know that deep down, they were always good beings all along. i hope they know that gender is bullshit and sex says nothing about anyone's worth, personality, goals, interests, etc. it says fuckall about any of that. i don't care if i get a male or female rabbit. a rabbit is a rabbit. if i feel affection for a new pet, our connection is what matters [*]. i would never assign someone gender roles based on their sex. but it's sadly done way too often by parents and male society. if you're trans, temporarily or forever, you gotta clean up all your internalized misogyny and sexism/gncphobia. find kinship with other female people, or male gnc people if you're male. just check off some boxes. clean everything up. deep-clean your mind and your heart first.

[*] insert tras here being like, "why can't you be like that about dating? you dirty close-minded terfy homo dyke? why can't you love beyond genitals? beyond just bodies?" and these days i laugh and laugh and laugh at that shit because wow they have zero clue!! they don't know the sense of peace at having my female/afab body against another female/afab body, at knowing we were born the same, at knowing we went thru the same growing up, at knowing we understand eachother so, so deeply without saying a word bc she is what i am, she is where i have been, and i have suffered as she has suffered, and we are a love born of the connection all female beings share, the connection of bio dick havers treating us as prey. not knowing we're more powerful than they could ever dream of. do bodies like ours not hold the godly powers of creation itself? are we not gods in the literal sense, born creators, who get to choose if a new life should be made? do we not hold the future in the palm of our hand? to the dismay of penised beings? and do me and my beloved not love eachother only the way two gods could love one another, knowing the struggle, knowing the power? is the patriarchy not fighting tooth and nail to control us, wrestle us into submission before their phallic altar? do they not know it's impossible, for everything in us would dry up at the sight? do they not know that we can rely on sisterhood to get us through fucking anything? do they not know we masculinized ourselves and found ourselves happily female anyway? do they not know that i'd love her with a beard and five eyes, but if she was reborn male we would not be the same people to begin with (tho ofc i like to think the bodyswapped versions of us would have a love story too, we would not be us anymore, not this timeline's love story, she would be a different version of her and i would miss our og love)? because what is anyone without memories, and aren't childhood memories, puberty memories, some of the experiences most affected by one's body type (under the patriarchy), some of the most developmentally significant memories of all? is female just genitalia and estrogen puberty to tras, to "hearts not parts" type folks?

is female just a meat suit and not also the life experiences linked to it, our upbringing, a rich female culture one is born into? trans women might be immigrants into this female culture if they pass post-transition, they might get the exact body, but they just don't know the culture the way born into it do. any transfem will admit being transfem is hard, it's hard to merge into female culture when they self-admittedly don't know much about it. anyone not having been born into this culture, not being fluent the way only a native resident of femaleness can be, will show signs of it even if it's been 50+ years. you can't just wipe someone's upbringing clean, your past always leaves traces, and a transfem wouldn't be able to bond with other female4female lesbians on basic female upbringing things... when those are the things that make being into other female ppl so attractive for many of us! we just get eachother. we understand without even saying anything. we understand female body issues. there's a warm sense of peace emanating from that knowledge in my heart, knowing me and my girlfriend were born the same. we went through so many of the same things, all the good and the bad sides of growing up female. and i find that attractive as hell, and it brings me immense joy in life. there's so many inside jokes a transfem just wouldn't get the way my gf can. and i unfortunately need to add, since people get defensive, that this isn't shaming the transfem for not having those experiences. i hope the transfem will come to terms with not being female too. she can be a woman in society, but she's not born this way, she's an immigrant into womanhood, and that's okay. she still needs to let lesbians who are only into people raised female enjoy our unique sexuality that she just can't understand. i can't understand the transfem4transfem experience either. so what? isn't lgbt or 2slgbtqia+ or whatever culture all about inclusion and diversity in sexuality and gender expression? what about those who are girls the way animals are girls? we hate gender roles but we're personally definining cis womanhood as being female animals, female humans? what's so twisted about that? what about female4female lesbians? transmasc4transmasc can exist, why not us? why make everything so stupidly complicated for no reason? why shame us for how we were born, for being into others like ourselves?

i pity them, honestly. watch them bring girldick and male upbringing experiences to female4female lesbians, watch as we'll all dry up like the dying succulents on our windowsills and sip drinks laughing at the naked male bodies before us because they're so unsexual to us homodykes. watch as we raise eyebrows at the male's lack of misogyny in her upbringing, her lack of expertise on female culture, and just... everything that's so fundamentally unappealing to us. we can be friends. we can be allies. thankfully though, sex and marriage isn't activism. you can't play woke in the sheets. if you do, that's honestly sad. love isn't political. heteros made it political, but love is just love. and the love between two female people is normal. boring at times, even. we're normies. and if mainstream tras can't see that, well, maybe they have issues to work through in therapy. idk.

if two dysphoric ppl working through really hard shit end up feeling at peace with being female animals, female humans, and loving one another, if that's threatening, if that's bigoted, if that's twisted, well...

we detrans chicks and homodykes will find our own place to hangout. and we'll be nice to your faces, of course, but behind doors we're having a blast with others like ourselves. people like us have done this for as long as humanity has been alive, anyways. we always go underground and make it work anyhow. radblr is proof of that. idc if i have to go door to door checking if any homodyke is there, or if i have to comb thru tra spaces to find cool detrans folks, i will find others like me. that's what the marginalized have always done.

we're like lizards. we'll just find a cooler rock to party under🦎✌️

[midwestbramble]

Trance States for Spirit Flight

Trance states are used in a lot of witchcraft practices, but especially those for spirit flight. This post will look at how these states translate in brain waves and what we are trying to achieve in our brains to accomplish our goal of spirit flight. Once we have an understanding of the feeling we are looking for it will be easier to use our techniques to get ourselves there.

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Content:

Brain Waves for Trance States

Tips for ADHD

Conclusion

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Brain Waves for Trance States

According to Introduction to EEG- and Speech-Based Emotion Recogintion, brain waves are "oscillating electrical voltages in the brain measuring just a few millionths of a volt." It goes on to say that the brain can give off more than one type of brain wave at a time and that each individual brain has different patterns that the five brain wave states could appear at. So one persons wave pattern for gamma would be different to another persons wave pattern for gamma.

The five brain wave states are:

Gamma (32 - 100 Hz)

The state in which concentration and problem-solving are achieved. It is associated with enlightenment as some Tibetan monks and Indian Yogi's are able to display it while meditating (Auryn, pg. 15). It happens during creative expression and our brain processes and recalls incredible amounts of information while in gamma (Orapello, Pg. 205-206).

Beta (16 - 31 Hz)

When we have a busy or active mind. This is the most common brain wave state, all others are considered trance states. This occurs when we are awake, alert, and concentrating (Auryn, pg. 15).

Alpha (8 - 15 Hz)

When our mind is at rest and reflective. This can happen when we are meditating, visualizing, or learning. It has access to the subconscious mind and is most associated with psychic ability as well as being linked to hypnosis (Auryn, pg. 15). Some believe this is the proper state for magic; and ritual, dancing, chanting, and grounding and centering happen to be perfect catalysts for inducing it. Alpha also improves our memory, which allows inspiration and clarity of thought (Orapello, pg. 61).

Theta (4 - 7 Hz)

When we are drowsy and close to sleep. It is also associated with light sleep, deep meditation, deep dreaming, vivid imagery, and high levels of inner awareness. We become completely unware of the external world while in this state (Auryn, pg. 15). In theta, we have one foot on either side of consciousness and are ripe for possession or aspecting (such as drawing down the goddess) (Orapello, pg. 204). This is the state we want to access for spirit flight.

Delta (0 - 3 Hz)

This occurs during deep dreamless sleep and the deepest states of meditation. During this time our bodies and minds do most of their healing and regeneration (Auryn, pg. 15). This occurs just before REM sleep.

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Tips for ADHD

I myself have ADHD so these tips will come from my own experience, though I have some links that may be helpful in my references found below. Also keep in mind, I am currently unmedicated due to personal issues. Mileage may vary.

The main goal we are trying to achieve is extreme relaxation. So lucky for us, ADHDers is that we aren't looking to concentrate necessarily. Yes we have a goal we are trying to achieve, but the more we TRY the harder it will be to actually achieve. We need to practice mentally letting go.

Meditation

For me, a basic meditation practice has helped tremendously. This was suggested to me by a therapist I was seeing in college. This isn't guided though I've found using apps that have timed meditations helps me properly gauge timing without having to think about it, they have a nice little chime at the end too. A meditation that has you simply separate yourself from your thoughts, observe them, and then let them pass by can be difficult for those with ADHD... at first. I struggled with letting a thought pass by without going down several different paths of thought. But with practice, and being kind to myself when I would catch it, eventually exercised my brain muscle to the point it became easier and easier. I would do this for 10 minutes a day (life has been crazy, I should make time for this again I can tell the difference).

Movement and Music

For those of us that don't just have a hyper mind but also a hyper body, swaying gently and creating a sensation of being rocked by waves can help keep the jitters away. Doing some physical activity before hand such as running can keep away the bigger bursts or energy, or dancing is a great way to enter a relaxed and exhausted trance state if that's something you enjoy doing. In fact, lyric-less music can be a great way to keep your focus. I personally, find music with lyrics to be distracting. I end up getting taken away with the story of the song rather then paying attention to my goal. There are many instrumental playlists on Spotify and YouTube that can fit with a witchy aesthetic (which can help keep from getting distracted). Movements tend to stop once the spirit has left the body, though a light sway may continue.

Visual Distractions

If you're not using the dance method, keeping your eyes closed while using the techniques in posts to follow can help to avoid visual distractions. Our minds tend to be louder in the dark, so the meditation advice above could be useful as an exercise to help with that. Or if you have a therapist you can brainstorm other ways to quiet the mind with them as well. If you're into art or tarot/oracle cards, there are also some interesting techniques allowing you to travel through the cards imagery (I suggest the book "A Broom at Midnight" by Roger J. Horne for more details). Though this technique may only work for those who have these as a hyperfocus or have already trained their brain to quiet.

Stims

Stims tend to be more associated with autism (and thus these tips may work for them as well), though I find that ADHD can provide some as well. If you tend to vocal stim, try chanting or intoning. It doesn't have to be words if you find that too distracting. If you have a common vocal stim, you can add that into a rhythmic chant or tone. If there's something you do with your hands, try to make a rhythmic display with it by flicking it out at certain intervals or adding it to part of a swaying sensation. Whatever makes sense for your personal stim. Just as with the movement section above, this may stop once the spirit has left the body. If you find that you bring yourself back too soon once you have left the body due to a stim, be kind to yourself first. It's ok. Stims can happen due to stress and overstimulation (good or bad) and I consider it a way of my body continuing to protect me. Something happened (good or bad) that I should process. If you left in the middle of a conversation with a spirit, you can give an offering to that spirit if you feel it is appropriate.

If I missed anything you struggle with due to ADHD, feel free to reach out. I'm not an expert but I could also be missing something here that I've experienced as well. If I don't have an answer, I will try to help you find one.

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Conclusion

Our brains are constantly cycling through trance stats every day. Learning to control which state we are in can help us with our magic and our spirit flight. But not all brains are the same. Hopefully these tips help those who are struggling, and understanding what we are trying to achieve helps those who don't know what to look for.

References:

Psychic Witch by Mat Auryn

Besom, Stang, and Sword by Christopher Orapello and Tara Love Maguire

Clinical Application of Mindfulness-Oriented Meditation: A Preliminary Study in Children with ADHD

How to Focus With ADHD

The Influence of Music on Concentration in individuals with ADHD