#unsure if I'll finish it 😭 ever

[eryanlainfa]

Failing Varian week since day one but I suddenly got an idea for freckle siblings so you get a wip

[gloomygumi]

idiosyncrasies - satoru gojo x gn!reader

summary: part one︱after listening to geto and shoko's theory, you finally decide to do something about your unspoken feelings.

contents: fluff, little bit of pining, highschool!gojo, dessert cafés, the most awkwardly written confession ever, still ooc and still self indulgent

word count: 2.0k

a/n: ask and you shall receive !! i'm so sorry or the wait 😭😭 i really couldn't work out where i wanted this fic to go, but hopefully you'll enjoy how it ends :) feel free to send any requests to my ask box, i'm always grateful for ideas !!

in the days that followed shoko and geto sharing their revelations over an otherwise uneventful lunch period, you found yourself unable to shake your keen awareness of satoru's actions and behaviors around you. it was as if a spotlight had been cast on his every move, making it impossible for you to dismiss the possibility of deeper feelings hidden beneath his friendly facade.

your interactions with gojo became increasingly awkward. you couldn't help but scrutinize every touch, every glance, every shared laugh, searching for signs that he too yearned for more than friendship for you.

in doing so, you discovered even more of his peculiar habits.

one particularly mild october afternoon, you had accompanied satoru to a local coffee shop. it was a place you both routinely visited, sometimes alone but often together. the inviting aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the quiet ambiance had hosted more than its fair share of your group study sessions and whispered conversations.

as you sipped your coffee and engaged in light and casual conversation, you couldn't help but to let out a sigh of satisfaction and softly hum along to the familiar melodies playing in the background. your gaze was intermittently drawn to satoru and eventually, you took notice of your companion carefully arranging the froth on his cappuccino into a somewhat wonky heart shape with the end of his spoon. he almost appeared to be glowing under the dim lights as he playfully peered over his usual sunglasses to meet your gaze.

"what's with the latte art today, satoru?" you asked, tilting your head in an attempt to get a less obstructed view of his masterpiece.

he shot you a boyish grin, leaning in closer to you from across the table as if he were sharing a secret, his eyes holding a mischievous glint. "it's for you." he replied with a cheeky wink.

you blink up at him, feeling your face flush as your mind races in an attempt to come up with some sort of response. you bring your hand up and gently push his face away from yours with your palm, eliciting a hearty laugh from him. in a feeble attempt to reground yourself, you take another hurried gulp of your coffee, making a point to not look at him.

on another night a few weeks later after a particularly grueling solo mission, you returned to the dorms exhausted and covered in small cuts and bruises. despite your injuries being mild, satoru insisted on taking care of your wounds, pestering you until you finally relented. his touch was gentle and warm, a shocking contrast to the unrelenting blows you had previously endured.

"you really don't have to do this, satoru." you said, trying to keep your voice steady as he tended to one of the nastier scrapes spanning the length of your forearm. "really, it's not that bad. i'll just ask shoko to look over it in the morning."

he keeps his gaze trained on his self-appointed task. "you know that i'll always take care of you."

the silence that followed was comfortable, both of you watching his nibble fingers continue to work at disinfecting and bandaging every wound.

when he finally finished looking over his handiwork, he stood from his position on the floor of the common room. wordlessly, he helped you to your feet from the couch and gently guided you down the hallway before stopping right outside of your dorm room.

unsure of how to end the exchange, you wait for him to speak first. instead, he tenderly presses his lips to your temple, mumbling a quiet "sleep tight." before disappearing from your sight, presumably heading to his own room for the night.

you stand still in your own doorway for a few minutes, still feeling the lingering warmth of his touch. you let out a soft sigh, faintly smiling to yourself before crawling into your bed and immediately drifting into a deep slumber.

"you've ruined my life!"

shoko doesn't even look up as you slam your hands onto her desk, too preoccupied with her phone. "what are you talking about?" she drawls.

"what am i talking about!? you know exactly what i'm talking about, shoko. what you said about satoru!" you hiss at her.

shoko finally lifts her gaze from her phone, her eyes locking onto yours. she raises an eyebrow, feigning innocence. "oh, that? we were just speaking the truth, you know."

you groan in frustration, flopping down into your designated chair beside her. "you and geto have planted this idea in my head, and now i can't stop thinking about it. it's driving me crazy!" your words are muffled as you buried your face in the crook of your crossed arms on the desk in front of you.

shoko turns to face you, giving you a somewhat sympathetic look. "is it really that bad that he likes you? i know he's kind of annoying, but he is your friend..."

your head shoots up at her suggestion. "what? no! it's not that i don't like him!" almost as if shocked by the volume of your own voice, you clamp your hands over your mouth. you stare at shoko with wide eyes as she laughs at you. "i just... wasn't prepared for this, that's all..." you mutter, embarrassed.

shoko tilts her head thoughtfully as her laughter subsides. "i get it, i get it. you're worried about what might happen to your friendship if things change."

you nod your head rapidly, grateful that she understands your hesitation. "exactly! what if this is all a huge misunderstanding, it would make things so awkward, right?" you reply, before quietly confessing. "i really don't want to lose him as a friend, shoko."

your friend leans back in her chair, her expression thoughtful. "i don't think you have to worry about that, it's still gojo after all. he doesn't exactly seem like the type to let something like this to get in the way of his friendships." she gives you a reassuring smile but before you can thank her for the encouragement, the classroom door swings open and in walks the final two members of your class.

you and shoko are quick to drop your conversation as you both shift your focus to satoru and suguru's loud bickering, which works to quickly lighten the mood in the room.

you can't help but to let out a genuine laugh, satoru's wild gestures and suguru's deadpan responses creating an entertaining spectacle. although you're not completely sure what the topic of their debate is yet, it's clear that the dynamic duo's spirited conversation brings a sense of comfortable familiarity to the room.

they make their way towards their desks, they quickly pull you and shoko into their conversation. boisterous laughter fills the room for the next several minutes before yaga enters, yelling at the class to quieten down.

as you settle back into your seat, your mind can't help but to replay your earlier conversation with shoko. the more you thought about it, the more you realised she was right. perhaps it was a good idea to bring your feelings up to satoru - even if he didn't feel the same, maybe a firm rejection was just what you needed to calm your racing thoughts.

before you know it, the bell that signals the end of class is ringing. you stand up, stretching your arms above your head in an attempt to alleviate the tension that had settled in your shoulders. before you have the opportunity to gather your belongings, a familiar weight gently presses against the crown of your head. It's satoru's trademark gesture, using your head as his unofficial armrest.

"there's a new dessert café that just opened, wanna join me?" his voice is warm and inviting as always, drawing your attention away from your thoughts. "i read online that they have something called a volcano cake, doesn't that sound so cool? we have to try it."

you don't even realise that you're smiling, replying before you even have the chance to check your schedule. "alright, let's go." he straightens up and you finally lift your bag as you both walk towards the open door. before you leave, you turn to wave goodbye to shoko and geto only to see them already exchanging smug grins and giving you a double thumbs up each. you lower your hand and scoff at their antics.

as you strolled down the unfamiliar streets toward the café, the warm rays of the late afternoon sun created a scenic walk. your footsteps fell in sync with his as your conversation came to a gradual stop, a comfortable silence overcoming you before you finally arrived at your destination. satoru urges you to find a good seat for you both while he orders, and you're once again left alone with your thoughts.

he's back before you know it, his tray stacked high with all sorts of sweet treats. as he sets it down in front of you, the anticipated dessert catches your eye - a molten chocolate eruption atop a delicate slice of cake, sprinkled with icing sugar and decorated with an assortment of berries. you had to admit, it looked impressive.

you marveled at his overwhelming delight as he described each desert, his childlike joy and bright smile was infectious as you continued to listen to his speech.

"look at this one," he said, gesturing to a miniature cheesecake adorned with a raspberry glaze. "i tried something similar at a bakery with suguru a while back, and it was so good i had to get one for you to try too! and this one," he continued, pointing to a chocolate delicate mousse tart, "it's like a dream in every bite, i promise you."

his animated explanations only heightened the anticipation, and you couldn't help but be charmed by his passion for sweets. as you dug into the platter of desserts together, the conversation continued to shift through multiple topics.

it was then you finally decided to address the elephant in the room, telling yourself it was the perfect moment. tucked into the back corner with the afternoon sun casting its soft gaze over the two of you, you spoke up.

"hey, satoru." you began, your voice soft and surprisingly steady. "there's something i want to talk to you about."

you can feel his gaze on you, and can almost imagine how his head tilts with curiosity. "hm? what's on your mind?" he muses.

your gaze is trained on your hands which lay flat on the table before you, your fingers lightly tapping a rhythm. as you take a moment to gather your thoughts, you listen to the distant chatter of the other customers that surround you, the soft clinks of cutlery brushing ceramic. "shoko and geto, they mentioned something to me not too long ago," you started, "they said that they think you... like me." your words carry an aura of uncertainty, but you finally urge yourself to look at his face. gojo's expression is a mix of shock and mock betrayal, his eyes are wide and his jaw is clenched.

"those jerks..." her whines. "i wanted to be the one to tell you! i should've known they'd blab about it eventually." your jaw drops and you can barely hold in a shocked yelp at his unexpected admission, rendered momentarily speechless as you watch him roll his eyes and slump further back into his chair with his arms crossed.

"what are you talking about?" you stammer, trying to come up with anything to say. you can feel the tension from moments ago dissipate as your shoulders relax.

"well, i mean it's not a secret anymore, right?" you can recognise the playful glint in his eyes as he teases you, shifting his posture once again to lean in closer to you from over the table. "i like you. a lot."

you don't make any attempt to conceal the warm smile that graces your features, eyes crinkling in delight. "well, that's quite the confession, satoru."

he shrugs, still maintaining eye contact. "i figured i'd take the plunge. go big or go home, right?" a crooked, cocky smile found its home on his lips as you lightly scoff at his unwavering self-confidence.

"yeah, yeah." you mumble, raising your eyebrow in amusement at his declaration. "i like you too." feigning nonchalance at his confession, but the bright fondness that shone through your eyes made your affections clear.

you couldn't wait to tell shoko the good news.

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Hi! Could you do a shion x reader where he has a gf that’s way of his league. Shion introduces her to the rest of the tenjiku gang. They can’t believe that the out of everyone shion managed to bag a baddie. Our dear reader loves Shion a lot 😭

It's a Shion Supremacy around here, ladies and gents!

I Mean It: Shion Madarame x Fem!Reader

wc: 636

tw: smut

masterlist

"Th-the meeting is gonna start soooooooon!"

Shion isn't whining, you note, sucking up his length and flicking your wrist around his tip before lowering back down. He's just overstimulated.

"Give me a sec, babe," you urge him, still working your mouth around his heavy cock and slurping loudly. "Need to finish." Shion doesn't protest, lacing his fingers through your hair and grunting softly. "Just relax."

All the air leaves Shion's body when you finally take him down your throat, every inch of him nestled sweetly in your beautiful mouth. He practically jumps in the driver's seat, holding onto you for dear life as you suck loudly, coming back up for air.

"'m gonna cum," he whispers huskily, squeezing his eyes shut as your head bobs up and down and you make those little gagging noises he loves. Without much effort, he tenses up and begins to stutter his hips as thick ropes of cum fill your mouth. When you've swallowed every drop, Shion pulls you up and kisses you on the mouth without hesitation.

"I'm fucking lucky," he grins, biting his lower lip and eyeing you with a hungry look. "So lucky to have a girl like you. Can't wait until they see you."

And so you walk into the pitiful warehouse, hand in hand with your beau and observing the place with a displeased look. "This is where he brings you all to meet?"

"Better here than where we were a few years ago," the blonde mutters, wrapping his arm around your waist and holding you close. "Shipyards are private but not glamorous." Shion nips at your ear playfully and you giggle, letting him caress you and say stupid things in your ear.

When you finally get to the space where the other five members are, you stand next to Shion awkwardly, noticing that there aren't any other girls.

"Shion," a white-haired man murmurs. "Who have you brought to our meeting?"

"My girlfriend," Shion pronounces proudly, smirking all the while. "I thought I'd introduce her to you before we started." A long silence precedes intense laughter from all sides of the room. They laugh so loud that it echoes, and you're stuck standing next to Shion, unsure of what to do. He pulls you ever closer, though, and his face tightens into a frown.

"You're a pretty little thing," one of the men chuckles, walking up to you and touching your hair carefully. "How much did he pay you to stand here next to him?"

"Nothing," you quip, shirking away from the man with two braids and a sleepy look about him. "I'm really his girlfriend."

"And pigs can fly," another one scoffs, rolling his red eye. You frown at him, wishing you could sneer at them and make them all believe that you're really his. But when they keep making comments about how Shion "could never" find a woman who looked, talked, or walked like you, you grab his hand.

"Come on, Shion. You don't need their approval." The conversation ceases abruptly, and you take his hand and tug him along with you. "They're just jealous."

"Hold on, hold on," a bulky man calls out before standing. "You say you're his girlfriend."

"I am."

"What side does he sleep on?" Shion isn't sure why Mochi would ask a question like that, but you reply confidently:

"He sleeps like a starfish."

"Yeah, they're fucking." Mochi grumbles, shrugging. "Shion does starfish out in the bed late at night. I'll never forget it in all my years of watching him sleep."

Shion turns to his companions and smirks again. "Such a warm welcome for my girl. Thanks, you guys."

"Congrats," Izana mutters solemnly. "You have me eating my words, Mad Dog. But just this once."

"Once is more than enough, Izana. It's more than enough!"

[myscenic]

Pairing: mafia!park jisung x male!reader

Genre: mafia!au, enemies to lovers, fluff

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1k+

Synopsis: jisung (21), the cold mafia, and y/n (19), the outgoing one have always butted heads as partners in their secret organization. although y/n had always secretly admired jisung, but his cold expression washed over it quickly. forced to work together on missions, their ice and fire relationship clashes slowly evolve into respect. beyond work, an unexpected friendship forms through a campfire and private moments where y/n opens up.

𓆰 Note: ahhh my first fic ever!! i immediately thought of mafia jisung when i first saw the concept photo so I decided to write one. it's kinda bad but i hope you don't mind😭

"mark hyung please swap with me, i don't want to be partnered with the ice prince again," y/n pleaded with their leader as he stared at the assignment board. for the fifth time this month, he had been paired up with jisung for a mission.

jisung overheard the conversation and glared at y/n from across the room. "watch it, rodent, or i'll put you in your place again."

y/n rolled his eyes, ignoring the older's empty threat. their leader just sighed. "sorry kid, you two need to learn how to work together. now stop bothering me and get going, your target leaves in an hour."

groaning, y/n turned away from the board and made his way over to jisung begrudgingly. "hey hyung, ready to go?" he said pointedly, hoping to irk the other.

jisung's eyes narrowed. "don't try me," he shoved past y/n and headed for the doors.

y/n sighed and muttered “this is gonna be shitty like last time…” in a flashback to the time where he almost screwed the mission up and jisung scolded him harshly.

“are you just gonna stand there or what?” jisung sent him a cold look at the door. y/n shivered and rushed to him, wondering how on earth this day could get any worse.

as they scouted the warehouse from the treeline, jisung gazed at the guard numbers with a calculating look. noticing y/n growing anxious beside him, he turned to the other.

"alright, there's too many for a head on fight. we'll need a diversion to split them up. do you have any smoke bombs or explosives?"

y/n nodded, pulling a few small bombs from his pack for jisung's inspection. jisung hummed in approval. "good, you may be semi-useful after all. here's the plan - i'll draw some away to the south side. when the smoke clears, you sneak in and take down any stragglers silently. think you can manage that?"

his tone held doubt as usual, but y/n was determined to prove himself. "you can count on me, hyung. i won't let you down!" he replied confidently.

jisung raised a brow skeptically. "we'll see about that. just follow my lead and try not to screw this up like last time, got it?" y/n nodded eagerly, focusing intently as jisung laid out the strategy. it was time to show the other what he was capable of.

while tracking the target, they came across a large group of enemies guarding a warehouse. jisung sighed in frustration, unsure how they would get past such numbers alone. “this was a lot more than i’ve expected.”

but y/n smiled confidently. "leave it to me, hyung." he drew a small smoke bomb from his pack and lit the fuse. tossing it into the midst of the guards, he then grabbed jisung and pulled him into the cover of nearby bushes.

as the area filled with smoke, y/n used the distraction to stealthily sneak behind enemy lines. jisung watched in amazement as y/n took down guard after guard with precise chokes and jabs, too quick to be seen or stopped.

when the smoke cleared, all enemies lay unconscious on the ground. jisung emerged from the bushes in stunned silence. y/n just grinned proudly. "come on hyung, the target's all ours now."

jisung found himself reluctantly impressed, but just nodded and went over to finish the mission.

the mission was a success, but it had taken longer than expected. jisung and y/n packed up their gear, ready to return to hq and file our report. as they walked through the forest, a comfortable silence fell between them.

much had changed over the months they’d worked together. at first, jisung seemed cold and distant. But little by little, y/n saw glimpses of his kinder nature - his quiet humor, thoughtful insights. they learned to move as one in battle, trusting the other implicitly.

now, an easiness had grown between them y/n hadn't expected to find. he glanced at jisung, his profile illuminated softly by the setting sun. heat rose in y/n’s cheeks but he didn't look away. once they might have been strangers, even enemies - but now, he had become his friend.

they stopped at the edge of the woods. jisung turned to me, eyes bright. "good work today. i’m glad you have my back out there." his words warmed him more than the fire they’d soon light.

words stuck in y/n’s throat so he simply nodded, smiling. they readied camp in a comfortable silence. as the forest awoke with night noises, he watched the firelight play across jisung's face.

y/n’s heartbeat quickened. he cared for him far more than he’d admitted, even to himself. but would jisung accept his feelings? their partnership was too important to lose.

jisung turned to stoke the fire, unaware of his gaze. y/n took a deep breath to steady his nerves. it was now or never.

"hyung?" his voice was soft.

he faced me, eyes questioning. y/n looked down, fiddling with his hands. "there's something i want to tell you."

silence. y/n glanced up - jisung was watching him patiently, a gentle look in his eyes that bolstered y/n's courage.

"over these past months, working together, i've come to..." y/n hesitated. "care for you. deeply."

jisung tilted his head slightly, continuing to listen without judgment. y/n plunged on. "at first i didn't understand these feelings. but being with you has come to mean everything to me."

y/n searched his face for a reaction, heart in his throat. jisung's expression was unreadable. fear gripped him - had he ruined their friendship?

finally he spoke, voice soft. "you foolish fool." y/n's heart sank - until he continued. "how long have I felt the same?"

joy and surprise bloomed within him. "you - you do?"

he smiled, reaching to brush y/n's cheek in a tender caress. "of course, idiot."

relief and delight swept him. leaning into his touch, y/n smiled back tentatively. he gazed at me with such affection that he knew, in that moment, their bond ran deeper than either of them had understood.

slowly, cautiously, y/n tilted his face up to jisung's. his smile widened as he leaned down to brush his lips against y/n's in a gentle kiss. warmth and rightness pulsed through him, this was the beginning of understanding each other in a whole new way.

[sethsclearwater]

i know you write a lot of smut and stuff for paul, but can we get something for the asexual girlies out here? like how would he react to his partner being ace? 😭 i’m begging, pls omg 💗💗

absolutely!! i'm not personally asexual so hopefully this does it justice!! also - this is def not going to fit every ace reader out there - i wrote this for a reader who is ace but still experiences romantic and sensual attraction! so if you're ace and don't want any of that (sensual or romantic) lmk and i can write another blurb! :D

...

"so you... don't want to have like any sex at all?" paul asked as gently as he could, though you could tell he was completely baffled by your confession to him.

you giggled, shaking your head, "jus' not interested in it," you explained, offering him a soft smile as he let out a heavy exhale, running his fingers through his hair as he tried to figure out what that meant.

in paul's mind, everyone loved sex. he was used to making any previous partners feel good through sex and other sexual acts, so hearing that you weren't even remotely interested in that had him... confused to say the least.

"so can i like... touch you?" he asked, a hint of nervousness lacing his voice that had you giggling again.

"yes you can touch me paul," you giggled, "just not particularly interested in having sex or doing any of that kind of stuff with you," you explained, "or anyone else," you added quickly, already knowing he'd be losing his mind thinking it was only him you didn't want to have sex with.

he slowly nodded, seeming to take in your words for a minute before responding, "okay..." he murmured softly, "so how do i..." he trailed off, looking for the right words for a moment before continuing, "make you feel good?" he finished, watching you anxiously as he waited for your response.

you smiled softly at him, "paul," you laughed softly, leaning forward to take his hands into yours, offering them a soft squeeze, "i know you've had other girlfriends in the past, yea?" you asked, raising your eyebrows at him and smiling when he slowly nodded.

"i'm sure you did plenty of other things to make them feel good besides sex, right?" you asked, giggling when he nodded again, "so we can do all the other stuff you usually do like cuddling and holding hands and all that stuff, just no sex, yea?" you finished, smiling when he nodded, this time seeming a bit more confident in himself.

"i just..." he started, trailing off, "i just don't wanna accidentally make you hate me," he murmured, the notoriously proud and cocky man uncharacteristically nervous now, "like you're my imprint and if i fuck this up i'm done for," he added, anxiously watching you for your response.

you smiled softly at him, absolutely loving how concerned he was with making sure you were comfortable, "i wouldn't hate you," you laughed softly, "promise," you reassured before adding, "and if you're ever unsure if i'll like something then you can always ask me, yea?" you suggested, smiling when he slowly nodded, letting out a heavy exhale that he had presumably been holding in since you first told him you were asexual.

"okay," he murmured, "i think i can do that," he added, taking in a deep breath with you and holding it for a moment before exhaling, "i can totally do that," he murmured to himself before straightening himself out a bit, suddenly seeming to get back to his usual cocky self.

"so are we still gonna watch that movie you've been bugging me about all week?" you asked teasingly, squealing when he nodding, picking you up to toss you over his shoulder and carry you over to the couch so you two could watch the movie together.

[fics-n-stuff]

And They Were Roommates

Pairing: Steve × Eddie

Summary: After moving in together, Steve and Eddie start to realise that they might like each other a little more than they had thought until one night, with the help of just a little weed, it all comes to a head.

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: Drug use (just weed)

A/N: I've had writers block for literally two years at this point it's so hard to just finish a fic. I have so many WIPS staring back at me every time I open google docs. If you like this fic I'm begging please let me know because I'm starting to doubt my writing ability 😭

Eddie was starting to regret moving in with Steve. He felt guilty about the fact, because Steve was the perfect housemate - he was clean and caring, respectful of boundaries and good company - but Eddie was struggling. Not because of anything that Steve had done wrong, honestly Eddie was unsure if Steve was capable of doing anything wrong, but because he did too many things right. Steve cooked dinner for them both when Eddie was too busy or too tired, he baked as a hobby so Eddie always had fresh treats to pack into his lunch, he always put Eddie's laundry in when he was doing a wash and sometimes even specifically did laundry because Eddie had let it pile up. He reminded Eddie to take his meds every day, used his employee discount to rent movies on the weekends, and never complained when Eddie spent hours playing his guitar.

Eddie was falling for Steve. He was falling hard.

They were coming up on six months of living together in their cozy little house when Eddie thought he might reach his breaking point. He had slept through his alarm and panicked, thinking that he was going to be late for work. He threw on his clothes, brushed his teeth and threw his hair up into the messiest bun he'd ever done, and was ready to race out the door.

"Don't forget your lunch!" Steve called from the kitchen, stopping Eddie on his way to the front door.

"Steve, I don't have time. I-" he cut himself off as he turned to see Steve appearing in the doorway of the kitchen, Eddie's old metal lunchbox in one hand and his thermos in the other. The thermos itself had been a gift from Steve after Eddie had complained one too many times about not having enough time to drink a proper amount of coffee in the morning (and refusing to wake up any earlier).

"I gathered." Steve smiled, and lifted his arms to hold Eddie's stuff out to him. "Don't worry, I got you."

"Uh, okay. Thanks, Stevie." Eddie said, awkwardly lurching forward to grab the stuff from his hands. 

"Did you take your meds?"

"Yeah, yes, I did. I'll, uh, see you tonight."

"See you tonight. Have a good day at work." Steve replied, before promptly disappearing back into the kitchen. Eddie took half a second to regather his thoughts, looking down at the lunchbox and thermos in his hands in mild disbelief, before quickly getting back on track and leaving for work.

When he sat down for his lunch break that day, coveralls pulled down and secured with the sleeves tied around his waist in an attempt to combat the heat in the shop, he found a post-it note stuck to the inside of the lid of his lunchbox. With an eyebrow quirked in curiosity, he plucked the note from the box and held it up to read.

Six months and this is the first time you've slept through your alarm. I'm shocked, Eds. Hope I packed you a decent lunch :)

Eddie smiled, his chest warm as he folded the note and tucked it back into the lunchbox. Steve had packed him a ham and cheese sandwich, an apple, some carrot and celery sticks with hummus, and one of his homemade blueberry muffins. It was more thought than Eddie put into his own lunch most days, he usually just grabbed the first thing he saw in the fridge.

Eddie was falling for Steve because Steve took care of him. Eddie wasn't used to being taken care of like this. Eddie wasn't sure that he wanted to be taken care of if it meant feeling whatever it was that he was feeling for Steve. It didn't seem fair that he could fall so utterly head over heels without Steve even trying.

And Steve hadn't been trying. Not really. He took care of Eddie because he liked to, but also because it just made things easy. He did the laundry because he liked things to be clean, he reminded Eddie to take his meds because treating his ADHD made him less of a hurricane, he cooked and baked and rented movies because it was fun. Steve was good at taking care of people, he had a knack for it. All the things you had to do to take care of people came naturally to him.

Steve wasn't sure he'd made a better decision in his life than moving in with Eddie. He had stayed living at his parents' house for far too long and finally getting out of there gave him space to breathe.

Nancy had helped him find the house. Hawkins wasn't a town that exactly had apartment buildings; there were big houses, small houses and trailers. Nancy was the one who found it, a two bed one bath in a quiet part of town with decently low rent.

Steve had been the one to propose the idea to Eddie. Eddie, who was fine living with his uncle but was ready to be independent, and had recently secured a decent paying job at the auto shop in the next town over, had gone for the idea. And then they moved in together. And it was great. And Eddie was great. Suddenly, Steve realised that Eddie was so great. He was passionate and emotive and energetic, Steve loved to listen to him talk and loved to listen to him play guitar.

Every morning Steve got up and waited for Eddie to come crashing out of his bedroom. Every night he sat on the couch and waited for Eddie to burst through the front door. Every weekend he rented a movie or two so that he'd have an excuse to spend time with Eddie. And it was tough sharing a space with a person that he had become so enamoured with. But he wouldn't want it any other way. He liked reminding him to take his meds every day, and he liked gently nagging him to keep the place clean, and he liked the way he always smiled so wide when Steve cooked dinner or baked a fresh batch of sweet treats. Living with Eddie was perfect.

Steve was working the Friday night closing shift, so it was one of those days that Eddie actually got home first. He was hanging upside down off the couch watching TV when Steve kicked the front door shut and pulled off his jacket.

"Hey! Good day?" Steve called. Eddie hummed noncommittally in reply, haphazardly reaching into a bowl of chips that was sat on the floor and stuffing his mouth with some.

"You rent a movie?" He asked.

"Yeah, three of em." Steve nodded, kicking off his shoes in the entrance way before stepping into the living room. "You wanna watch one tonight?"

"Nah, let's save em for the weekend." 

"Okay. You eaten yet?"

"Nah." Eddie said, and paused slightly before continuing, "Wanna get high?"

"Sure, why not." Steve shrugged after a moment. "I'm not working tomorrow." Eddie flashed him a grin before turning himself right side up and making room for Steve on the couch. "You wanna order a pizza? I didn't prep anything and I don't wanna start cooking now."

"I'm always up for pizza, Harrington."

"Awesome. I'll order the food, you roll the joint."

"Perfect."

They both got up from the couch in unison, Steve heading to the draw by the phone where they kept all the takeout menus and Eddie heading to his room to retrieve his stash. They reunited by the back door five minutes later, pizza ordered and joint in hand.

"Two whole hours." Steve complained as Eddie lit up. "I will never get over it. I hate Friday and Saturday closing shifts, why the hell do we have to be open an extra two hours?"

"Because Friday and Saturday nights are when people wanna go get their movies." Eddie replied, smoke rising from his lips as he passed the joint to Steve.

"Yeah, well, I hate it."

"Yeah, I know." Eddie chuckled, used to hearing a version of this rant every time Steve worked a Friday or Saturday closing shift. "Hey, uh, thanks for packing my lunch today. But I think you might have done too good a job at it."

"Huh? What does that mean?" Steve questioned.

"The new guy at work, Freddie, he asked if my wife packed my lunch for me."

Steve choked halfway through an inhale, quickly passing the joint back to Eddie before he doubled over with his coughs. 

"Shit, sorry." He managed after a few seconds of coughing. "I, um… what did you say? Yaknow, when he said that."

"Uh, I laughed and then I told him the truth. I overslept and my housemate packed it, coz he's nice like that." Eddie smiled. He watched Steve to make sure that he was okay after his coughing fit and took an extra long pull of the joint. "He gave me a funny look, but he said it was sweet."

"What kind of funny look? Like a surprised funny look or a disgusted funny look?"

"I don't know. We were cool the rest of the day though." 

"Hm."

They smoked the rest of the joint in silence, finishing up just a little before the pizza arrived. Steve answered the door, paid the delivery boy and brought it back to the couch where Eddie had already melted into the cushions.

"You sure you don't want to watch one of the movies tonight? I rented Eraserhead just for you." Steve said. Eddie made a shocked wailing sound around the slice of pizza in his mouth and spun to face Steve.

"You rented a freaky scifi horror for me? And you plan on watching it with me?" He exclaimed.

"Well, we did also just get in our first copies of Top Gun and I was planning on making you watch that with me tomorrow so… it's more of a compensation." Steve replied with an amused smile.

"Deal." Eddie nodded enthusiastically, holding his hand out to Steve, who laughed as he shook it. "You wanna smoke another one? I'm thinking I could do with a bit more of a buzz."

"Not if you wanna watch Eraserhead tonight."

"Well, what's the third movie you got?"

"Airplane."

"Oh, we can definitely watch that stoned." Eddie grinned. "Come on, Stevie! Smoke another joint with me. I'll have most of it, promise!"

"Okay, fine!" Steve relented with a light laugh. "Go open the window and put on the movie."

"Yay!" Eddie cheered like a child, springing up from the sofa. He scurried to open up both of the nearby windows, retrieved the tape from Steve's bag that he'd left by the door and popping it into the VCR, and came back to the couch producing his little tin from his pocket.

"You know, you could just smoke on your own." Steve said.

"I could, but social smoking is better." Eddie argued, flipping his lighter in his hand and smiling around the joint between his lips. "And it's a good way to get you to chill out, you collect a lot of stress through the week." To punctuate his point, he plucked the joint from his mouth and held it to Steve's. Steve, whose hands were occupied with tearing apart two partly cut slices of pizza, parted his lips to accept the joint.

"I'm not that bad." He protested. "Go get your ashtray, we're not gonna be able to eat the pizza if we can't put down the joint."

"Yessir." Eddie chimed, rolling over the back of the couch like a chaos gremlin to go get the ashtray from his bedroom.

They ate their pizza and watched the movie, laughing a bit louder and a bit longer than was really necessary. Eddie rambled as they played rock paper scissors after the film ended, telling Steve about his day very overdramatically and not noticing how closely Steve was watching his every move. Steve was always quiet when he got high, which was the complete opposite of Eddie who somehow managed to talk even more when under the influence, so Eddie wasn't too off put by his lack of responses.

"I've got the munchies, what's in the kitchen?" Eddie asked, grabbing Steve's hand as he wrapped paper around rock.

"Hmm, not much." Steve mumbled in reply. "We've got some pretzels. There's the muffins, and the sugar cookies from last weekend." Eddie puffed his cheeks out and rocked backwards before leaning forward into Steve's space.

"I love living with a baker." He smiled dopily before quickly getting to his feet, reaching down to Steve with grabby hands to pull him up as well. "Come on Stevie, to the kitchen we go." 

Steve took the hands offered to him and let himself be pulled up off the floor, let himself be led by the hand into the kitchen, let his arms be wrapped around Eddie's shoulders like a scarf as the other opens the cabinet where they keep the snacks. 

"You want some pretzels?" Eddie questioned as he pulled down the bag, his other hand still holding Steve's where he'd placed it hanging at his chest. Steve replied with a hum that meant no, resting his head on Eddie's shoulder. "We have half a bag of chips left, you want that?" Another hummed no. "Okay, more for me." Eddie shrugged, grabbing the chips and closing the cabinet. He shuffled them over slightly to grab a plate before opening up the tins on the counter and filling the plate with muffins and sugar cookies. Then, he unwrapped Steve's arms from his shoulders and turned to face him, a sudden air of seriousness about him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course." Steve nodded.

"You sure? 'Cause you seem… thoughtful."

"I'm high."

"Yeah but it's a different kind of quiet than usual."

Trust Eddie to pick up on the most minute inconsistency in Steve's demeanor.

"Just…" Steve started thoughtfully, trying to arrange his words in his swirling mind. "Did you ever think you'd be so… domestic?" Eddie blinked.

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean." He replied with a chuckle.

"Like… when I was a teenager I just kind of thought that I would inevitably end up like my dad. And then I was with Nancy and I started thinking maybe I could have something a little different; a marriage that wasn't loveless, a family I actually care about. But when all the Upside Down stuff happened, and it just kept coming back, it started to feel like I could never have a normal life. But now here we are, living in a normal house, going to work every day and just… living." Steve explained. "I didn't think I would ever get here, and I have no idea where I go from here."

"Well, wherever you want to go, Stevie." Eddie said with such a sweet authenticity that it made Steve feel emotional. He leaned forward to rest his head on Eddie's shoulder with a sigh, and Eddie wrapped his arms around Steve to pull him close. "It's not easy. I mean, Nancy's had her whole future planned out for years and even she got shaken by the Upside Down shit. I never second guessed persuing my music before but months in the hospital got me out of habit with it and I doubted that I could. You know that, you were the one who convinced me not to quit the band. We figured it out, you will too. We'll figure it out together." He moved one hand up to Steve's hair, twisting his fingers through the thick strands and stroking his scalp with his fingertips. Steve sighed and leaned into the touch.

"Okay." He breathed.

Eddie took a deep, hopefully discreet, breath. It wasn't often that Steve showed this vulnerable side of himself, and Eddie was proud that he showed it to him. For all that Steve did to take care of other people, Eddie especially, he didn't often let people take care of him. Eddie learned how to do it in small ways, making sure to regularly ask him how he was feeling and helping him unwind at the end of the work week, not to mention telling the kids to leave him alone for a bit if he was seeming overwhelmed or in need of a break. But this, holding Steve in his arms and giving him advice about something serious, was something he didn't get to do often. And he already loved Steve when he was coasting along nonchalantly downplaying his negative feelings for the benefit of the people around him, but when he opened up and let someone else see what he was really feeling? Eddie could feel his heart melting. 

"You're doing a good job just as you are right now, Stevie. You know that right?"

Now it was Steve's turn to feel his heart melt. Or maybe that was the weed. Either way, he didn't know when he started leaning on Eddie like this but now it was like Eddie had a magic effect on him. His voice, his touch, just being in the same room with him, it always made Steve feel more at ease. He let himself enjoy the feeling of Eddie's fingers in his hair for a few moments longer before pulling back from his hold and standing up straight.

Maybe it was the weed, maybe it was Eddie's big brown eyes, maybe it was the way that Eddie's hands lingered on his waist, but Steve was blurting out the words before his mind could tell his lips to stop.

"Eddie, I love you." He heard his own voice before he realised he was speaking. Then he panicked, and he couldn't stop himself from continuing. "I- I mean, I think I might be falling in love with you. And I- I didn't mean to, I didn't want to, but you're just so great. And we're really good friends and I don't wanna ruin that, and if you don't feel the same - I mean, you probably don't feel the same - you can just tell me and I'll never bring it up again."

Eddie was stunned. He stood completely still, staring at Steve as he continued to ramble, cheeks turning red as he blushed more with every word he spoke. If he wasn't high maybe he would be quicker to respond, but it was like Eddie's brain was ticking so slowly he could barely keep up with the words coming out Steve's mouth. Steve's mouth that he found himself staring at.

Steve was still rambling when Eddie grabbed his face in both hands and cut him off by pressing their lips together. Steve let out a surprised yelp as he was cut off mid word, his hands instinctively going to grab Eddie's hips as he returned the kiss.

This was the moment.

When Eddie pulled back he was grinning ear to ear, hands cupping Steve's face so gently.

"I love you too, Stevie. I love you so much, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." He said softly. Steve smiled, letting out a relieved sigh, before pulling Eddie closer and kissing him again.

He pushed Eddie back so that he was leaning against the counter, crowding him in as he deepened the kiss. One of Eddie's hands found its way to take hold of the hair at the nape of Steve's neck while the other fisted in Steve's shirt at his shoulder.

Steve's fingers had just slipped under the fabric of Eddie's t-shirt when the phone started ringing, and they both pulled back with disappointed groans. Steve begrudgingly went to answer it.

"Hello, this is Steve." He answered the phone. A moment later he was pinching the bridge of his nose as the corner of his mouth pulled into an involuntary smile. "Hey Robbie, what's up? No, I'm not stoned… It was just a little, I'm not stoned. What do you want?" Eddie couldn't help his fond grin as he watched Steve on the phone with Robin, free hand moved to sit on his hip in the classic Mama Steve pose as he listened to his best friend. "Well, how am I supposed to know what girls in California are like…? Robin, you go to Stanford so I know you're not that stupid… I can help how!? I didn't even get into community college, you are talking about a league of people that I am not a part of!"

This was going to last a while. Eddie breathed an endeared laugh, picking up his pile of snacks and heading back to the living room, winking at Steve as he passed him.

He lounged on the sofa shoveling chips into his mouth, tuning in and out of Steve's side of the phone call and chuckling at his exasperation with whatever problem Robin had called him to discuss. He hummed under his breath, a melody that he had written and had been workshopping the lyrics for, as he finished the chips and scooped up a muffin.

"Robin, I can't plan dates for you." Steve pressed his forehead against the wall in exasperation. As much as he loved Robin, she really did have a way of finding a problem in practically everything and then also making that Steve's problem. "For starters, I don't know what your neighbourhood is like. And also, I don't know what this girl is like other than what you've rambled at me… Robs- Robin- Rob- Robin! I think you've forgotten that time zones exist, because it's past midnight here and you're keeping me up with your lesbianism." Eddie snorted a laugh at that, shoving half a cookie into his mouth. "Yeah, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Eds, yell hi."

"Hi Rob! Bye Rob!" Eddie yelled with an amused smile on his face.

"Yeah, no, he is stoned." Steve chuckled into the receiver. "Alright, bye Robbie. Love you."

"I'm not stoned." Eddie pouted. Steve pushed his legs off of the sofa so that he could sit down.

"More stoned than me." He rebutted, gesturing to the half eaten pile of food scattered across the coffee table.

"That's 'cause you're a pussy." Eddie grinned teasingly. "Is Robin having a wild series of dalliances with cool California girls?"

"No, and I also don't care about that right now. I'll deal with her tomorrow, but for the meantime I think we were in the middle of something." Steve replied with a smirk. Eddie shot upright, his charm only slightly hindered by being under the influence as he leaned into Steve's space with an eyebrow raised flirtatiously.

"Were we?" He purred. 

"Well, unless you don't want to be." Steve teased. Eddie quickly placed his hands on either side of Steve's face, getting up onto his knees as he pressed their lips together to swiftly dismiss that notion. A laugh reverberated in Steve's throat as he kissed him back. He pulled back with a smile and brushed a stray curl off of Eddie's face. "Your bedroom or mine?"

[inevitably-johnlocked]

i have a confession

recently i had some trouble and had to delete an email

problem is, i used the google docs there to write my fics. and i thought i downloaded them all, but only one of my major ones did, and i lost everything else

literally all of it

i am anonymous because i lost my tumblr acc but on ao3 i am veetheree, and i had this longer dilemma regarding my potterlock fic (pretty disillusioned with rowling and all.that, unsure whether to continue) but even so i saw that a lot of people subscribed to it and i wanted to at least see where the story leads, i had over 300k words apart from the 40k i published

and i domt hve it anymore :') i didnt check the process because it seemed okay and i had other uni and work stuff to take care of, and now i check it and :') it's gone :')) im not doing well, and i am going to delete the fic i think

i dont have the energy to maintain it and i dont want it to be left in the dust either - i have lost all hope for it, and this is just a punch in the gut. and i was proud of the plot and how i intertwined the 2 worlds too

this is mostly just a rant because i dont really have anybody else who can relate to the pain of fic writing and the challenges that come with it

also, as to why i had to delete the email - it's complicated, hacking situation and such, but it happened over 2 months ago so im not able to retrieve it and neither do i really feel like looking into it, im done with that fic for good 😭

that's all, thank you for being a safe space for me to go to, and i apologise to anyone who was waiting for that fic to be updated :(

Hey Lovely *HUGS*

OH GOODNESS, I'm SO sorry you had a garbage time with your email, and even more so, accidentally deleted fics from your Google Drive without saving all of them. I'm TERRIFIED of losing my own fics from my G-Drive all the time (I do actually write and have about 15 "snippets" of fics on there) and back them up religiously.

That said, I can understand how life can overtake literally everything and just make being online Too Much™ – happens to me all the time 💜🖤. And I know how disheartening it can be to just... not have the motivation anymore to continue on with something, heaven knows I've done that plenty in my 40 years, LOL. And Lovely, we have to remember to do what's best for us in the long run.

When I was a teen, I wrote a fairly popular Sonic fanfic series that I never completed, literally left it on a cliffhanger. This was back before even FFNet, and fics were distributed in the Sonic fandom on our Geocities pages via Webring, LOL. After life took over, it still remains unfinished over 20 years later. I recently found the original word docs of all 9 of the stories (with the 10th one half-finished) and while I cringe at my bad writing from back then, I still love immersing myself in that world. One of these days, maybe I'll finish it, because I do think it was a great concept and intriguing storyline that dealt a lot with humanity and sentience, just obviously written by a teenager, hahaha.

The point of that anecdote? We can still love the things we wrote, and still want to engulf ourselves in that world from time to time and not feel bad about it. And if you decide to come back to it a decade from now, that's okay too. You're only human.

And never EVER hesitate to come here for a friendly eyeball to vent to. I try my best to make y'all feel not so alone. Glad to see you are okay, Vee, truly. That's what's most important.

*SNUGGLE BUGGLE HUGGLE* I hope you have a beautiful, prosperous day. And I'm sure your fic-fans understand <3

[darkfictionjude]

I'm the etymology nonnie. I actually really hope you didn't recognize all of my asks, because some were very horny for Imre. On the other hand, I just confessed to it, so it doesn't truly matter now, does it?

That said, since I do seem to enjoy my own suffering, I'll say this. I was planning to add to the Imre's manifestos (as I wrote two of them), by writing a Sonnet. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on who you ask, I don't think I'll be able to finish it. I just have a stanza done, and I have no idea how to continue it. Also, English is my second language, so I'm entirely unsure about how badly I am failing at writing poetry.

Anyway, here is the stanza (mind you, this is not edited):

Nor sea nor sky to your keen eyes compare,

O Imre! And the cosmos knows this well;

No other youth has ever been so fair,

No one but you could my heart thus swell.

A part of me is tempted to ask what Imre would think about MC writing something like this. And the other part of me knows I have no shame. Except because I remain on the shadows of anonymity.

Hahahaha don’t worry nonnie I haven’t caught onto you in the horny asks you’re safe from detection there 😭

Also, you don’t know how excited I got that someone wrote a stanza even though it’s of thirst about a character of mine. Ugh I’m glad they inspire art. (By the way even though it’s a piece it’s very pretty)

As for the question…

He reads those lines but he doesn’t say anything. He takes you by the hand and leads you outside under the stars. “You said the cosmos know this well? Well anytime you want to tell them beautiful things about me do it so that they can keep it with them, we can imagine their twinkling is them replaying your words of love so that they stay etched across the galaxy forever.”

[duplicitywrites]

Ooooh I wanna hear about Fear Is Only The Beginning

Fear is Only the Beginning

i honestly don't know if/when i will ever go back to this sjgssdg my writing style and preferences have changed a lot since i started that story 😭

but i think i'll take this as an opportunity to share a lot of snippets i wrote for future scenes that may never see the light of day. look below the cut for more!

[ send a WIP title and i'll share something for it/about it ]

---

scene one:

Tom waits until they are alone in their dormitory to pass him the book. The cover has a charm placed on it to obscure the true title, but even that does little to mask the magic emanating from the pages.

“I bookmarked a page,” Tom says casually, but Harry can sense excitement beneath Tom’s usual veil of careful detachment.

Later, when he is finally alone, Harry flips to the marker and starts reading, unsure if he’ll be able to stomach the entire book from start to finish.

Horcrux. Just reading the word leaves Harry feeling awful. Reading the process behind it only worsens the feeling. His skin crawls when he thinks on it, even long after the book has been returned. Killing someone so that you can live forever.

But it is soul magic, and that is significant. Harry can’t say he agrees with everything that Tom does, or wants to do, but this is an opportunity to learn things that Tom won’t find suspicious. They can research this together, and if Harry can find a solution, find a way out—well, he’d be a fool not to try and take it.

Tom wants to live forever. He wants to tether himself to this world, to this life. He wants Harry by his side while he does it. Harry just wants to live knowing his soul is wholly his own.

If he can separate the piece of soul that doesn’t belong to him, maybe Tom won’t want him anymore. Harry’s not sure how he feels about that. He’s been linked to Tom for years now, the two of them drawn together by their strange magical connection. He still occasionally catches Tom glancing at his lightning scar, clearly deep in thought. Tom hates not knowing things, and Harry thinks it’s a wonder he never got dumped into Ravenclaw after rejecting Slytherin.

The mere thought of opposing Tom scares him. Not out of fear that Tom will hurt him, but rather what other consequences might make themselves known. Tom is volatile, mercurial. His desires and ambitions wage a constant war against the world as he strives to force reality to bend its knee to him. 

It is breathtaking to witness Tom in those moments, even though it is Tom’s cruelty and pragmatism breaking the surface. There is fulfillment in being a part of something so powerful, the tiny cogs of Tom’s grand plans humming in unison as the large wheels of politics continue to turn.

Harry knows that he helps to buffer Tom’s sharper edges, that he provides Tom with something truly invaluable: an ally, an equal. He will always act in Tom’s best interests, for Tom’s own good. And Tom will never hurt him. It would be hard to leave Tom, knowing that.

---

scene two:

“You’re always someone to me, Tom. You always have been and you always will be.”

Harry is too close. His words are like fire against Tom’s skin, burning hot all over. His hand is touching Tom’s, holding it gently, threading their fingers together. Harry is all that is good in the world. He is the only thing that matters. He should be the only thing that matters.

“Tom?” asks Harry, concerned.

Tom forces his throat to clear itself. “Harry,” he says. Just that, nothing else.

“It’s you and me, Tom,” continues Harry, voice soft. “You have me. Isn’t that enough?”

Harry’s eyes—so green, like liquid emeralds—are swallowing Tom whole. Tom feels like he’s never been so alive as Harry watches him, sees him. Tom wants so much. He wants the world. Tom wants to fashion himself from diamond and silver, unbreakable and shining. But Harry sees through him, burns him, breaks him down into his constituent pieces with nothing more than a loaded glance.

Tom’s free hand rises to touch Harry’s face, to drag his fingers up Harry’s cheek, along the bone structure, across the brow, under the forehead, and just around the edge of the angry red scar. All this, all of Harry. All of it is his. Oh, it aches. A different kind of pain from the scorching fire in his lungs and his raw, parched throat.

“Harry,” Tom repeats. “I want you.” I need you.

They are centimeters apart, sharing the same air, chests almost pressed together. Tom can feel each breath that passes in and out of Harry’s lungs.

“Then have me.”

Tom obliges, closing the remaining distance. His mouth touches Harry's, hesitant. Everything is warm. Harry is warm. Their lips come together, moving, and Tom’s hand winds its way past the scar and into Harry’s hair. The kiss is careful, so careful, because Harry might pull away at any moment, might leave. 

Harry’s hands come up to grasp Tom’s waist, to pull them closer together still. Tom feels dizzy as his head tilts back, his lips parting to inhale. His breaths are unsteady, he can hear the air passing into him in irregular bursts.

But Harry’s smile is familiar. Being with Harry screams safety and acceptance and care—all the things Tom had tried to find for himself in the world only to be disappointed time and time again. The rest of the world never mattered to him except when it came to his desire to conquer it. This world, his world, is Harry. The strange scar and the knobby knees and the snarky jokes at his expense. Always this, always Harry.

Without any conscious thought, Tom finds himself drawn back down, his lips against Harry’s. The kiss is messy and inexperienced, but every touch of Harry’s skin upon his leaves him hungry for more. If he can have this—if he can have this for every day for the rest of his life—

When they pull away, Tom has one hand curled against the nape of Harry’s neck. His other arm is wrapped around Harry in a tight grip, fingers grasping hard enough to bruise, but Harry doesn’t seem to mind. Harry’s hands are still gentle on Tom’s waist, their thumbs stroking slow patterns that Tom can feel through his shirt.

“I love you,” Harry says, breath hitching, words sincere.

The statement hurts somehow. Tom presses his forehead against Harry’s, careful to avoid contact with the scar. Tom can’t form the words in return. He’s not sure if he can. The concept of love seems very far away from where they are. Tom has always wanted to be more, to have more.

They are breathing together. Him and Harry. Two of the same, two souls bound for each other. That thought calms Tom, steadies him.

Tom brushes his lips against Harry’s cheek, feather soft. He hopes Harry understands.

Harry’s hand comes up to cup Tom’s face, to brush calloused fingertips along the upper part of Tom’s jaw. With Harry’s touch comes reassurance. Tom is not alone, and he never will be.

“Forever,” Tom says. It’s not quite the same, but the sentiment is there.

Harry gives him another quick kiss in return. It is enough.

[grimescum]

how to download canva elements without pro (2 methods)!!

made this for a variety of reasons. mostly because i hate using any program that isnt ibispaint 😭 i'm pretty sure the first one will work with any editing/art program, though!

★ editing method

1. open a blank design from the "custom size" option. the size i used in both examples was 5000 x 5000

that's WAY bigger than you'd ever need. a better size is probably somewhere in the 1000-3000 range, but i was just testing it out here

2. start fitting elements onto your canvas. be smart about it and try to fit in as many as possible! don't be scared to resize elements, the quality won't be affected

working with monochrome elements

1A. what you need for this method are pure black and white elements. not all of them are by default, but you can easily recolor some of them by using the color tab here

the ones that aren't recolorable require using the effects/adjust/filter tools instead. i'll explain that in the "working with colored elements" portion since a good chunk of elements are already recolorable

either way, when you're finished, export it as a png!

2A. load it into an editing program of your choice. i personally use ibispaint, but i'm sure most art/editing programs have a similar feature

press "clear white (color)" from the three dots near the bottom, and then you're done! all you have to do from here is save as a transparent png

working with colored elements

1B. you'll want to wait until the page is full before you start changing the colors this time. once you're done, save this version as a png, you'll need it later.

2B. now, recolor what you're able to by using the aforementioned color tool. canva already speeds up the process if you have several elements of the same color. in my case, the 6 on the lower left could not be recolored. this is where the effects/adjust/filter tools come into play!

first and foremost: if you don't see the "adjust" option at first, tap "effects" and select duotone. you'll want the select the "mono" palette near the end to make this easier. once you've done that, unselect and reselect the element again. you should be able to see the adjust option now!

change the brightness, contrast, highlights, shadows, whites, vibrance, saturation, and clarity values to -100, change the blacks value to 100. this should work with most elements, but sometimes they're still too light, as pictured here:

this is easy to fix by going back into the effects tab, then duotone, then "custom". change both the highlights and shadows to pure black (remember to make sure of this, btw! you can always edit this in post if you forget), and then you're done! export this as a png and open your editing program of choice.

3B. import both of the finished versions onto the same canvas. select the "clear white (color)" option for the black and white one, then "select opacity", then select the colored version and copy that layer.

then you're done! note that the smaller the canvas, the more white artifacts you'll see around your pngs, hence why i made mine so big.

★ google docs method

this one kind of sucks to do. its good for getting the individual pngs in high quality, but its tedious, and some files will randomly corrupt for reasons i'm unsure of. i wont be spending much time explaining it as a result.

1. open a blank design. use the docs template. place in all of the elements you want (try to keep it at a relatively small amount— i usually had around 10-25 at once), and after you've done so, hit save. save it as a docx file!!!

2. open google docs and load in the docx file. you'll be able to view it without being able to download anything at this stage- that's okay!google docs should have an option to convert the file into a doc.

3. once you've done that (it took forever on mobile, i had to do it on computer instead), go to "save as" and choose the option that says "web page (html, zipped)". it'll save as a zip file with two folders inside. all you need is to unzip the one labeled "images", and you're done!

for more information (and pictures), check out this guide on how to extract pictures from different file types

[ifidiedinadream]

I'm sorry that you're not doing well. I rushed to finish this today and sorry if it's not very good but hopefully it'll put a smile on your face. 🤍 -🐨

You took one last deep breath before entering the restaurant Aleksi had picked out for your third date. You had spent nearly all day trying to find a perfect outfit before settling on your fanciest dress and a pair of high heels, clearly very fitting for this establishment. Once inside, it didn't take long before you spotted Aleksi sitting at a table, mindlessly fumbling with a napkin. He wore a black dress shirt that accentuated his shape, the most upper button left undone, offering you a glance at his chest. You stood there for a little moment just watching him, marvelling at this beautiful man, and you couldn't believe your luck that you had met him. When he lifted his head, his gaze met yours and a smile spread across his face before he got up, quickly walked over to you and greeted you with a kiss on the cheek, then he guided you to the table with one of his hands on the small of your back. He pulled back the chair for you, much like a gentleman and then took a seat across from you. "I know this place is quite fancy but I wanted to impress you", he said and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck - a habit he always seemed to do when he was nervous. You chuckled and playfully rolled your eyes. "I'm always impressed by you, whether if it's at a fancy restaurant or at a landfill", you spoke, immediately blushing at the boldness of your statement. Aleksi laughed and muttered, "Guess I know where I'll take you for our next date." You carried on with a casual chat, feeling so comfortable in each other's company that you almost didn't notice the waiter stepping up to your table to take your order. "I'll take a beer and she takes...a vodka lemon", he said and the waiter noted the order on a small notepad before turning around and walking away. You looked at Aleksi with wide eyes. Butterflies were going crazy in your tummy and it made you feel almost dizzy. "You remembered", you smiled, "my favourite beverage." Aleksi nodded, looking mighty proud of himself for making you smile. "Of course I did. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't?", he jested and this time it was him who blushed. You had not yet put a label on your relationship, still unsure if you were just casually dating or actually being committed to each other. "I mean...if you want me to be your boyfriend, of course. Sorry for being so straight forward. I can see that this took you by surprise and you probably think I'm weird now", Aleksi rambled, barely taking a breather inbetween the cascade of words tumbling from his mouth. "I'm such an idiot and I can understand if you don't want to see me ever again. I'm so-" You cut him off mid-sentence by standing up, leaning across the table and gently grabbing his face with your hands before shutting him up with a kiss. You had no idea how long you ended up kissing him for, you broke apart when the waiter returned to your table and cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable at interrupting. "Excuse me but here are your drinks", he said and placed a glass of vodka lemon in front of you and a bottle of beer in front of Aleksi. Your face was heating up from embarrassment but Aleksi took your hand and smiled at you with so much adoration in his eyes that you couldn't help but swoon. It was a very good date and you couldn't wait for the next one.

oooooh he's so handsome when he wears dress shirts aaaah 😭😭 and baby wanting to impress the reader 😭

and AAAAH when you asked me about my favorite alcoholic drink this is what it was for 😭😭😭🤲🏻🤲🏻🤲🏻 i love this little detail, thank you very much!

in general i loved this, for some reason i often fantasize and write about the first few dates, it's among my favorite scenarios 🥰 they're just so romantic and full of passion and thrill aaaahh

thank you so much for this, you have no idea how much i needed it today 🖤

[hyunjinspark]

hi 👋🏻 my name is Ciel ! ☁️

im unsure i will be able to keep this ask short, i have so much to tell..

nb after finishing: indeed, i couldn't! im sorry! :<

let's start somewhere; i really, really like your blog, your writing. it is incredible. i had stumbled upon you as 'only fool' was being uploaded; im a stubborn and persistent reader, so i kept myself from looking through before it was last updated, as i am also quite impatient if i get absorbed.

your writing is the purest i've ever read. this is coming from a person who has trouble with emotions and feelings; i am demi-romantic and asexual- but the way you use words are enchanting to me. i feel everything, from warm to anxious, joy to hatred.

for the past three days, i've let myself be completely entranced by 'star lost with you'. as i said, im impatient, and i forced myself to wait for some chapters, at least, to come out beforehand. and i don't think i can fall more in love with the warm feeling your story makes me feel. i was so focused on every word from every chapter, i even found myself rereading most parts. this giddy feeling while reading, the pure love, either platonic or romantic, described in yn, hyunjin and yongbok. i am so curious of how everything is played in the other characters' eyes, how does hyunjin feel in those calm and sweet moments with yn, im especially wondering about his thoughts during the train ride, or when they met yeonjun, this closeness that seemed to not bother him at all; but was he nervous as well? is he an overthinker about his feelings? will his adaptation of Caress be detailed by an outer inspiration?

but as well as yongbok's thoughts as well. despite the time spent, you can still feel him being wary of the situation behind those smiles, his pure white love towards yn is usually so untouched, is he scared of hyunjin tainting it? in either case he feels a platonic or romantic attraction, does he, too, overthink over his feelings? over his close and private relationship to yn? he is pictured as a carefree and sunshine person by everyone, but doubts and worry are natural occurences in a life.

the sheer kindness and empathy from yn, too. in her place, i would have left hana behind a long time ago, she is not bold and upfront, she is forceful and childish. it's a bit crazy how no ones shush her in some very rude situations she puts up herself and others. yn's overthinking feels way too real, her anxiety seeps into him, my stomach churning at some scene, like in the cabin and hana's horrid behavior towards her best friend's feelings. i have been constantly scarred by being left out and behind by who i called friends, since i was nine. the clear fear of being abandoned yn felt, when she found everyone gathered in the morning without her, or to be misunderstood and left by hyunjin, everything felt so real, as if i was experiencing it myself, again.

this is how i perceive feelings with the way you write. it makes me wonder so much, i have rarely felt so while reading. thank you for giving us so much of you in each of your work. you deserve to be read and congratulated over it.

i apologize, it may sound weird and uncomfortable to some extent to talk like this. but im trying my hardest to share my thoughts, i think you deserve to know that your work has a deep impact on someone.

i'll be waiting for future updates, and i'll be sure to give my honest review at the end. if i work up more courage, i'll try to send other asks after chapters. please, keep writing. :)

- Ciel ☁️

hi ciel. thank you so much for sending such a thoughtful and heartfelt message 🥺

i understand what you mean, sometimes it can be really hard to start an unfinished story,, thank you so much for liking my blog and my writing 💖

the purest ? oh my gosh, your words will make me cry 😭 im happy that i can convey those emotions to you well. enchanting is a beautiful word and im blessed you associate it with my words.

im so happy you decided to start star lost with you, despite it being an ongoing story, and that you reread parts. your questions are so interesting and i hope many of them will get answered soon, as we explore diff povs, or perspectives. hyun definitely does think a lot about those interactions, and gives meaning to every moment. the closeness with yeonjun didn’t bother him indeed, and its interesting how different he feels regarding each person in yn’s life. his adaptation of Caress will also be referred to soon, and mentioned again.

as for yongbok’s thoughts, you’ll find in the next part how he feels, and if he truly thinks that the adoration he holds for yn may be tainted by hyunjin’s presence.

i m glad you can relate to yn and that her thoughts and experiences feel realistic and not made up. im sorry that it reminds you of such moments in your own life :( nobody deserves to feel this way.

don’t apologize for ever sharing your thoughts, it was such an honest review and made me very happy that you perceive my writing in such a way. you’re so sweet for this and trust that i look forward to know your thoughts on the future parts, if you feel comfortable sharing them. 🥺🥺♥️♥️☁️☁️

[chocodollxren]

Hi choco! I'm the azul angst anon and since it would be really weird signing my asks like that because it's long, can I pweaassee be in your guestlist? I'll be "☁️" if it's okay. Also, I read that you're into anime/manga too and I wanted to ask if you've ever read shoujo or watched some? And like what's the recent one you've watched (it's okay if it's not shoujo)?

Also, the vil + leona hc was *chef's kiss*! 😭🤌🏼🤌🏼

of course!! I’ll add you to the list right now <33 and thank you!!

and yes! the most recent animes I’ve watched are panty & stocking with garterbelt again, i watch that at least once a month or once every three months for the dub clips and sometimes watch an episode. i also watched some pokemon because im never too old for that, plus some nichijou again. i recently finished another, and beautiful bones: sakurako’s investigation. i also rewatched way of the househusband, and kotaro lives alone. i recommend the last one and third last one only if you’re okay with animes which hit you incredibly hard, and out of nowhere. as for manga, i’m all over the place and read a bit of everything, but the last manga i read was “from the red fog” about the son of a serial killer who turned into a serial killer and is now in an organization for killers. it’s quite interesting and has potential but im not too far in! i’ve also read spy x family awhile back and glad to see an anime! i’m updated with the manga.

as for strictly shoujo, i adore monthly girl’s nozaki kun a whole lot and kept up with the manga. fruits basket original was something dear to me, and took on my love for the chinese zodiac. same with ohshc and it’s comedic aspects. i like kaichou wa maid sama as one of my firsts, but mainly nostalgia because i do not recall any plot but the president is a maid. im unsure if natsume yuujinchou counts but a 10/10 even for the manga. there’s also banana fish, kamisama kiss, special a, gakuen babysitters, shugo chara- probably stopped at doki for some reason, or party, plus much more. for manga i think that the water dragon’s bride is shoujo, but unfortunately the eng translations didn’t keep up )): and i don’t have raws. i also really liked kaiju girls carmelise!! i love how the author thought it would appeal to girls because shoujo but more boys apparently?? but i haven’t read it in quite awhile. i forgot to mention but PRINCESS JELLYFISH is amazing.

there’s likely a lot more i didn’t list off the top of my head, but those are my recent ones and or favorites in the genre! if you watch something feel free to tell me and maybe I’ve seen it or read it! there’s a lot of new animes ive read as manga but just couldn’t take the manga and dropped like the my cool girlfriend, Darwin’s law, tomodachi game, my dress up girlfriend / my darling dress up, etc. normally boring protagonists are fine with me but i just hate it when they’re blatantly overpowered for some, or just have the standard worst design ever but the girl’s get like 100% attention.

[msookyspooky]

now that i watched near dark may i pretty pls request severen turning someone he likes but they’re just like caleb and are very apprehensive about staying and making their first kill. like how would he convince the rest of them to let his s/o stay and at the same time have to convince his s/o to stay with him as well!

(basically mae-sev and caleb-y/n)

i love u sm for introducing me to near dark 🖤

Of course bby anything you want 🖤🖤🖤

(And ur beyond welcome but that was me selfishly just shoving Severen and the rest of them in ur faces till u all watch it so I ain't the only one hyperfixating 😬😭) (Also this is long as hell I used recycled parts from a scrapoed fanfic of mine lolol)

Severen with a Freshly Turned S/O

(Sev in Mae's place with a S/O like Caleb.)

He definitely doesn't fall often or possibly ever. Honestly, he's the only one out of the group that doesn't have a mate and doesn't seem to care to get one. So, for him to fall for you in such a short time had everyone including himself reeling. Either you were someone that he was forced to be around at night in an open public place and you both just clicked or you were one of the countless lays he's probably had in his long life and you just hit different (Srry for that pun) OR...You simply made him feel a way he had never felt before with a stranger. Maybe you were that kind? Maybe you were a complete wise cracking asshole he just vibed with? Maybe it was forced by some circumstances like Caleb and Mae? Either way...You may have only known him for a short amount of time but you had him infatuated with you and you started crushing on him as well. Big time. So much that you trusted him to be alone with you in the middle of the night. You were winning his heart and vice versa.

Jesse said they had to leave soon, forcing him to make the kill like he did hundreds of times before you...And half way through the bite; he just couldn't do it or you ran away and he didn't have it in him to chase after you and finish the job. By time the sun had set a whole 8-10 hrs later...You were turned.

The hell he got from everyone when you either came back to the camper or were kidnapped just for them to realize he had turned you.

"They're turned, Jess...I done did it. Ain't no goin' back now." Severen admitted, hanging his head as everyone stared at him in utter shock before looking over at you huddled up on the floor. Homer's mouth dropped as he gestured to you. "As if we need another person to hog sleeping spots around here! Since when are ya getting soft and turnin' jus' anybody?!"

Severen shot Homer an annoyed glare. "I don't wanna hear shit from you, ya lil hypocrite! Because you turned Mae, she turned Caleb. So you technically dragged two into our lives." He gave him two fingers up.

Homer huffed, "As if that was my fault! I turned Mae only and-"

"Both of you pipe down a minute." Jesse mumbled, head on the steering wheel as he was trying to think.

Mae and Caleb just silently watched while Diamondback looked completely unsure what to say. Waiting for the one person to call the final verdict in your fate.

Jesse rarely lost his temper but he was absolutely livid at the moment. Jerking up from his seat, looking at Severen for an answer. "...The hell are you doing Severen?... Out of everyone, you know the cons here. You know the shit storm we could be in!"

Severen looked up at Jesse. "And it's my shitstorm to wad through, Jess. I'll take the fall; you know that!" He ran a hand through his hair. "It dont fuckin' matter now...Point is; they're here. They're turned. They're stayin'."

Diamondback looked between her mate and Severen. Jesse gave him a sharp glare. "Homer's right. We got limited space as is! Are we jus' gonna turn a new one into us every other year? Have two campers to drive, twice as many mouths to feed, twice as many to look out for-"

"We'll make the room. They're stayin'."

"Sev...You don't get to make that choice." He gave in an even tone with a frown.

Severen rarely challenged Jesse but you were becoming the exception. He raised his voice in anger, glaring at Jesse. "The hell I don't! You turned Diamondback, Homer turned Mae, Mae turned Caleb's ass! I haven't turned a single human in all this time I've been by your side. So, if I want to turn this one damn human into one of us and babysit them into truly being one of us I think I have the fuckin right!" His tone was deathly serious as he frowned deeply at Jesse. " You need to give me that much when it comes to my place here, Jess. Either they stay or I go."

"Severen-" Diamondback urgently whispered under her breath, a distressed look on her face at the news. For once, even Homer was quiet as you all silently watched both men glaring at each other with their shoulders tensed. You were terrified and just wanted to go home but you realized that wasn't an option.

Caleb spoke up through the deafening silence. "Uh...Jesse, why not give 'em a chance like you did me? I mean, I made it. So, what's it gonna hurt?" He got glares shot at him as Mae clung to his arm and spoke up as well. "Jesse...If Severen trusts them enough to go out on a limb like this then...Maybe we could try. Caleb's right, what's there to lose?" She glanced over at you with a sympathetic expression.

Severen glanced over at them both with a bit of surprise in his eyes at them coming to his defense on this. Caleb firmly nodded at him as Mae continued to stare at you. You noticed Caleb had on the same kind of spur Severen did on one of his boots...

Jesse took a deep breath, closing his eyes before looking over at you as well. Jesse scared the shit out of you. He just had this intimidating and commanding aura about him. He was clearly the patriarch of this group and your life may be in his hands now. He looked back to Severen, staring a moment before nodding. "...Alright. One week..." He held up a finger and lowered his voice. "One damn week, Severen."

Things were awkward at first with you there. No one really talked to you but Mae and Caleb; both if them not as set in their ways as the rest from only being newly turned themselves the last few years. You felt eyes on you no matter what. Everyone watched you constantly out of morbid curiosity as to how and why out of all of them...SEVEREN picked you.

The first day he probably went overboard trying to get you to feel welcomed. Joking, trying to nudge you to join in, cuddling up to you to make you feel safe and comfortable. He nuzzled up with you the first day during sleep. Covering you both up with a blanket to try and make you feel comfortable in his arms in this new place. "Things are gonna work out, you'll see...It's gonna be the best thing to ever happen to me an you both. For now, jus' lay here with me an get some rest." He whispered to you before kissing your forehead. It instantly made you wrap your arms around his neck and lay your head on his chest. You caught DB watching you both before she fell asleep. Probably taken aback by seeing Severen so affectionate towards someone so new.

He was over the moon your first night as a freshly turned vampire. He clearly thought you would feed with him and accept this lifestyle right away...He was mistaken.

He took you with him hitchhiking your first night. You saw how much he cleaned up, flirting with you when you commented on the change of attire. He shot a goofy grin with his thumb up as a van came down the road. Two kids opened it with the smell of weed wafting in the small space and empty beer bottles hiding behind the seat.

They were good natured, going to a party and offering to take you. Severen did all the talking. Charming the pants off them like he did anyone else...You didn't hear a word.

You had only been in the van for 5 minutes before you felt off. You could smell them, you could hear their heartbeat, you could see their veins beneath the skin. You licked your lips as your mouth became dryer than the desert. Severen saw it, smirking to himself as he saw the hunger finally taking over you.

"Hey, you good?" The guy asked as he drove. You realized you had been staring at him this whole time. You were sweating, huffing to catch your breath. "Need us to pull over?"

Severen whipped out his revolver. "No but I am gonna need yall to sit your asses in yer seats, shut your traps and do what we tell ya. Let's make this easy and not too messy, alright?" He gave with a grin.

The one guy screamed as he aimed the gun at the back of the drivers head. You felt nauseous even though you were starving. The only way to describe it would be having ravenous hunger and the only thing offered to you was rotten food. The idea of killing these young kids made you want to throw up.

The boy slammed on the brakes to the side of the road before putting his hands up. Fear on his face as Severen's gun was pressed against his scalp. He jerked his head back by the hair to expose his throat to you. "Go on, honey. All yours." He offered with a smile. His dark blue eyes lighting up in excitement at seeing you make your first kill. All while the young man had tears in his eyes begging at you to please not hurt him.

You trembled. Your stomach hurt with the hunger you felt; It was mind numbing. You were leaning towards him without even realizing it. The moment you did, you jerked back and pressed against the door. Severen's face fell as you shook your head. "I can't. P-Please, I can't!"

You opened the passenger door to stagger away and vomit. You heard Severen cursing as the back door opened and the one escaped. He had no choice but to shoot him while you stayed on the ground. Shaking on all fours as reality truly sank in that this was your life now.

Severen snapped the neck of the driver before stepping out of the van. His boots and spur clanking under the loose gravel as he stood over you, offering his hand down. "....Come on, get up. We only got one now since that other sorry assholes blood is wasted in the dirt. You can have this one." He gestured to the one shot as you stood up. He led you to the van and you jerked out of his grip.

"Severen, I can't."

"What the hell do you mean ya can't? You take this one and I'll get another one later."

You furiously shook your head. Feet firmly planted on the ground. "No. I can't and I won't."

He softly rolled his eyes. "Would you stop being so difficult 'bout it? Ya gotta feed."

You had tears in your eyes as you shook your head. He sighed heavily and shrugged. "Alright...You'll change yer mind soon enough...Hell, that blood layin in dirt and dog shit over there will be seeming like a damn good meal the longer ya wait." He stared at you a moment, hoping you would change your mind but you simply held yourself and lokked away. He frowned as he hopped back into the van to feed for the night.

He was right...That blood 20 feet away soaking into the dirt smelled good. You forced yourself to walk aways up the road to cry and rationalize what you were going to do.

It was a good ten minutes later when you sensed him behind you. You released a shaky breath, rubbing the tears off your cheek. " I'm sorry... You mad at me?"

You heard him sigh and crouch down beside you. His elbows on his knees as he put a hand firmly on your shoulder. "YN, I ain't mad. So, you got cold feet your first night? Big deal! They'll be others... Come 'ere, honey." He helped you up and held you. You didn't know how to feel. He was the cause of this new curse but also the only blessing you had left. He rested his chin on your head as you clung on to him. You didn't even care if he was covered in blood. Blood didn't even smell the same anymore. He mumbled sweet nothings in your ear before leaning down and kissing you.

You wanted to slap him for it. He knew what he was doing. The blood on his mouth tasting like a delicacy he knew you couldn't resist. It just made you cling to him and kiss him harder as he lifted you off the ground.

There was some mixed emotions on your part towards him. He never asked you. He just turned you and you were confused and scared. You wanted to go home, you wanted to see your friends or family, you hated that animals didn't like you now...And of course, killing to survive night after night. He LOVED being what he was so seeing you be so reluctant for days on end has him disappointed. There was definitely tension between you both.

There were small arguments when it came to feeding the more time went on. You were getting paler and clamy and weaker by the day. Your stubborness even after a few tastes of blood on his lips during kisses not swaying you. He finally offered you his blood as a last resort when you were too weak to even walk properly. On his knees with you heaving for air on the ground. Begging you with worry in his eyes: "Please, YN. If ya don't, yer gonna die! Do you wanna fuckin' die? Cause if that's the case, Jesse's gonna put you down like a rapid dog and I don't know what I'll do." He looked genuinely worried. You looked half dead but he looked tired. He was truly concerned about you and what your fate was which would be his fate in turn. You got a taste of his blood and you realized how good it was but you were still reluctant to make a kill. "I can't be yer meal forever! Either you make your first kill or you'll die and all this bullshit and heartache I'm going through for you is all for nothin!" He was desperate for you to get it through your head you were one of them. That you were his.

Jesse was pissed when he found out Severen was pulling the same stunt Mae did. Severen rationalized it was only once or twice and Jesse and DB argued that it would continue and make him have to hunt twice as much to supply his blood and be fed himself. It caused even more tension as Jesse saw you as his first fledglings undoing. Almost 200 years of Severen being the ballsy, cut throat, practical man he was just for you to come along and have him weak in the groups eyes. They didn't like it and in turn started not liking you. It put Severen between a rock and a hard place. His family meaning everything to him but so did you...

The truth was, you both didn't understand eachother. He didn't understand the need for not killing for survival or the fear of what he viewed as a gift he gave you. You didn't understand how he can kill anyone without a second thought or to just go from place to place forever. He decided to try a different tactic. Instead of romanticizing this life like Mae does, he showed you the power and what you could do instead. Showing the raw strength you now possessed. Helping you pick up on senses you never had as a human. He definitely hurt himself in front of you just to show you what you could now do. It was his way of showing you how great this new life could be and that you weren't human and shouldn't empathize with humans anymore.

If it was close to your 4 or 5th day and you still refused to feed...It had him stressed the fuck out. Barely sleeping and feeding himself as he was too worried that someone he was beginning to deeply care about wasnt going to make it. If you fed but decided to leave; that's bad enough but at least he would know you survived...You were going to starve to death or be cast out to die if you didn't make a choice soon.

His family were not for it. All of them were flabbergasted at him allowing you to be resistant for so long while dragging them down. Jesse or Diamondback definitely pulled him off to the side and asked him what was going on with him and why for you. Caleb and Homer tried joking with him and he was uncharacteristically absent minded the whole conversation. I actually think Mae would be the one to bond with him. They both didn't talk much compared to everyone else in the clan but she knew first hand what it was like in his shoes. They had small talks whenever she saw him up a little too early in the sunset hours worrying himself while you and everyone else slept. Her answer? Tell you how much you mean to him. That you weren't turned as a game or sex partner. That if you didn't feed and become one of them how much it would kill him. She definitely made you feel welcomed and so did Caleb. It helped make you want to stay but the other three giving you a tough time didn't make it easy. They weren't mean to you but they definitely weren't friendly either.

Jesse finally had enough and basically did what they did for Caleb. All of them as a clan going to a seedy joint somewhere off the beaten path where you would make a kill or you were out. Severen hung back to talk to you on the walk there.

"They hate me." You sighed out as you watched them all talking together and walking ahead of you.

He shook his head, cigarette out the side of his mouth with his arm slung over your shoulder. "They don't hate ya. They jus'...Ain't used to the new kid coming in and stealin' their favorite toy is all." He winked at you and a small smile formed.

"I don't blame them...I know I haven't been very compliant here."

"No, you definitely have been a pain in the ass." He mumbled with a smirk. "But yer my pain in the ass. Your my responsibility here so if you ain't eatin then clearly I'm doin' something wrong."

You looked up at him. You could see the frown from his side profile. You hesitated before voicing your worries. "Severen...What if I can't do it? What if I get hurt trying?"

"Then I'll beat the livin shit out of 'em."

"What if I become a different person? I don't want to lose myself-"

"Oh for fuckssakes" He grumbled. Throwing his cigarette on the ground and grinding it out. You scoffed. "I'm serious! I mean, if I don't sympathize with people anymore...What if I become a heartless monster or just mean and not myself-"

He stopped you from walking, placing both hands on your shoulders to look at him. "You won't. Mae is still that sweet lil lovable pain in the ass that Homer dragged in and Caleb is still that annoying asshole kid she brought in. Ya ain't gonna change." He offered with a smile as he looked into your eyes. He hesitated a moment himself before whispering. "Ya mean a lot to me, YN. I just want you apart of my life and this is my life. They'll come around when you come around...Just try it. I'm begging you at this point. Do I gotta get on my knees and grovel for you to drink the blood?"

He instantly got on his knees in the gravel with a comical sad face in place. You laughed to yourself as he dramatically begged you. He'd do anything for a laugh, especially from you. His voice was a whine as he had his hands out in front of him. "Oh pretty please won't you just drink the blood and be mine? Pleeeaaassseeeee? I can be your sex slave forever, I don't give a fuck as long as you lick one damn drop...Please, please, please-"

You covered your face in embarrassment at how loud he was being. He gave you an impish grin as you groaned. "God! Okay, okay! I'll try. "

He stood up and chuckled as you rolled your eyes with a smirk. He drapped his arm back around you. "So, did my begging work? Is that what it takes?"

You thought a moment with playful look in your eyes. "Hmm...I don't know. I do like you begging." You teased.

A small yelp escaped you when felt a hand snake down to firmly grip your ass as he leaned down near your ear. "Mm, kinky. I can beg all you want later...Right before you'll be begging me."

You blushed as he just released a dark chuckle and smacked you on the ass. You were already at the place and your heart sank a bit.

It was a dark secluded biker bar on a four way stop quite a ways out of town. They seemed to pick these places because A. Off the beaten path. They could take their time. B. Fights and chaos break out all the time so cops won't be too involved. C. The people in there were rowdy, mean and sometimes bad people. No one would miss them like they would a sweet charity worker in the community or a teacher or someone like that.

You and him walked in just to have a group of bikers wolf whistle at you in his arms. You felt him bristle while his smirk never left. You didn't look but for them to do that...They were disrespecting you and challenging him. You heard them laughing as he ignored them and walked in with you. He pushed you towards DB. "Can you take em to the bar? I got new friends I jus' made."

Diamondback gave him a bemused smirk. "Play nice with the other boys, Severen."

He chuckled at that and crossed his heart. "Scouts honor."

You fumbled as he left and you were left with a person that had gave you nothing but a hard time this week. She lost her smirk with you and gestured to the bar. You rolled your lips anxiously but followed. You both took a stool at the bar.

The silence was stretching out before it just came out. "Diamondback...I'm sorry. I don't mean to step on anyones toes but-"

"Hush now. Ain't the right time for all that." She mumbled. She eyed you, considering you for a moment before some guy came up to her and you. Obnoxiously flirting, half sauced and insufferable. Diamondback nudged you to pay attention to what she was doing.

"Whats a pretty thing like you want to quench yer thirst, sugar?"

"Whaddya recommend?" She asked with a coy smile.

"Well...The best thing is in the back if ya catch my drift."

You sneer to yourself in disgust, he reeked of booze and sweat. She forced herself to giggle. "Well, we'll just have to see now won't we? For now, whiskey neat."

"You heard the lady! And yer friend?"

You cringed inwardly as DB laid a hand on your arm and flirted for you. "They'll have the same."

You jumped when someone came crashing in and landed on a table that broke from the impact. You saw it was Severen and Diamondback forced you to stay in your seat, shaking her head as she whispered low. "Watch n' learn."

You bit your lip as Severen groaned and raised his head while the bikers came in. He had some blood on his nose as he grinned up at them. One hosted him up by his jacket as he kept his smirk. You clenched the bar in front of you, flinching as one slugged their fist right into his jaw.

Diamondback eyed you. "Ya really do care about him, don't you?" She asked softly. You didn't give a response as Severen got knocked over your way on the ground and you instantly jumped off the stool to go to him. You looked up a moment while he was chuckling to himself just to see Jesse locking the front door and breaking off the handle...You soon realized he baited them all in here.

Severen stood up and gave you a reassuring smirk as you took a step back with DB's hand on your shoulder. One of the bikers made a sexual comment about you, grabbing his crotch right in front of you. It made you feel dirty and enraged as you saw Severen's jaw tick. DB whispered in your ear. "Ain't nothing but junk food here. You can eat guilt free." You looked at her as she gave you knowing smile before taking the mans offer and going to the 'back room' with him. Leaving you to watch Severen go completely buck wild the minute one made a remark about making you their bitch... They're jaw was ripped off their face with blood and exposed teeth hanging in its place in less than 30 seconds. Still alive but out of the way and in pain; suffering.

You watched him with wide eyes as he tore through every single biker with sadistic glee on his face. Purposely doing the most damage to the first to leave the rest scared to death at what was coming to them.

Mae and Caleb seemed to not be as showy, gravitating to the people on the side lines. Giving them quick deaths they didn't see coming. The other four wanted them to see it. They wanted the people in this bar to watch the carnage and wait their turn.

Homer already had one by the hair and his slit throat dripping blood into a glass. Jesse killed the bartender with one shot to the head before he waited, seeming to want to make sure everyone else was fed before him. DB came back wiping blood from her mouth with a towel. She walked over to Jesse as Severen was ripping a mans throat out with his teeth and greedily drinking.

"He seems more enthusiastic than usual." Jesse mumbled as DB offered him a pint of blood. "Well, they did make a nasty comment or two about his mate."

You blinked in her direction at the term.

DB smiled up at Jesse as he took a sip. "I like them, Jess."

"Really?"

She nodded. "They got to get over this hump with their human morals but they care about him...They really do. Ain't too often someone cares about us least of all Sev."

Jesse nodded at that as his eyes went to you across the bar.

It wasn't long before Severen came back sucking the blood from his fingers. As if it mattered, he was caked in it. His shirt wasn't even white anymore. He grabbed the man with the half missing jaw by the hair and dragged him over to you. The one that made the comment about sexually assaulting you.

He yanked him in your direction by the hair. "All yours. He's gonna die anyways. Yer jus putting this miserable sack of shit outta his misery. It's more than what he deserves, YN."

The scent of blood was overwhelming as you stared down at the badly wounded man. His tongue and teeth exposed in a gruesome way. You hesitated, unsure if you could do it.

Then the man despite, his injuries, said it. "Fuck ou! Fucin whore!" He gargled. Despite his injuries, still treating you like nothing but an object. You felt anger rise in you at that.

"What?" You mumbled, eyes wide to make sure you even heard him right. Blood and salivia dripped as he vocalized how he could. "FUC OU!"

Something in you snapped the angrier you got at the disrespect. Severen held his head in place as you practically sneered down at him. Even with a ripped jaw he still used every slur and insult he could at you, defiant to the end. Something was taking over you the angrier you got and the more you smelled his blood going to waste on the ground in front of him.

He gave one final insult that made you snap. You didn't realize what you were doing as you tackled his body to the ground and your teeth were already sunk deep into his throat. You rippped into him like a rapid dog, yank your head to get as much blood as possible.

Severen beamed with pride, a loud excited hollar escaping him as he went over to his family to make sure they saw you finally did it. You didn't even hear them. The high from the blood, the ravenous hunger finally being satisfied, the raw anger fueling you to black out and your body to do what it had been screaming at you to do for days.

Homer laughed as he watched from a booth. "God, youngin's are so damn messy."

Jesse smiled to himself as they all watched you. "Leave em be. They'll get control over it one day...Maybe." His eyes darted to Severen who practically slaughtered every human in the bar.

Severen smacked him on the shoulder with a laugh of his own. "See it, Jess? They did it! My baby finally did it! Look at em go! Fuckin ripping him to shreds."

Jesse and the rest couldn't help the smiles on their faces at just how overjoyed Severen was. Jesse chuckled. "Don't go cryin tears of joy now."

Severen laughed. "Well shit, I jus might."

Caleb cringed at how vicious you were. You didn't know you had it in you. "Damn...Poor son bitch."

Mae nodded with a half cringe half smile as you jerked up and crawled over to another undrained body on the ground. "I can tell their Severen's."

"Damn right! Only took a week of hunger but fuck was it worth it." Severen boasted as you finally sat up from your second meal. Breathing heavy, face and chest painted in blood, a feral look in your eye slowly leaving as you were getting your fill.

You barely stood up when Severen rushed over to you with a giant grin on his face. Both of you caked in drying blood as he picked you up and spun you around in his arms. "You fuckin did it!"

You gave a slight smile, unsure how to feel over the fact you really did do it. He sat you down, grabbed both sides of your face and planted a firm kiss to your lips. You couldn't help chuckling against his mouth half way through the kiss at how excited he was. You had butterflies knowing he was that elated and proud of you as he pulled away.

They destroyed the bar and headed to a hotel to get showers. More to keep up appearances that they were human rather than hygiene on their part. You and Sev took one together. If you thought he wasn't going to lavish you with praise and touch at how happy he was then you were wrong. Caleb finally banged on the door after 30 minutes to tell you both you had others waiting. He had you undone multiple times already but told you to ignore him as he gave you one more. On his knees as your back was pressed against the shower wall, hot water steaming up the room as you tried not to moan out loud.

You both got dirty looks as you left. You were glowing with a blush while Severen had a blissful grin on his face. Hair wet and slicked back with a towel around his waist. DB and Jesse were the only two that just chuckled to themselves. The oldest members besides Severen in the group and just happy he found someone even if it meant you both hogging the hot water.

The change was instantaneous. Severen was getting dressed in a side room when Jesse called you over to him. You were leery but went as he stared at you a moment. "YN? I jus wanted to tell you you're welcomed into our group." "Are you sure?" He nodded. "Course I'm sure. I apologize for any hard time we gave you...You just took us by surprise is all." He got up, not one to be too touchy for too long. "We're playin a game of poker...You in?" You smiled but shook your head. "Thanks but I think me and Severen are going for a walk." Homer scoffed. "Good. Get that cheatin sleazeball outta here."

You both got dressed and headed for a walk as everyone else got cleaned up and played poker. He was eager to know your answer and was devastated when you said you weren't sure.

"Whaddya mean?! YN, ya made the kill! You're one of us now. Jesse said you can stay."

You rubbed your arm, not wanting to look at him. "Severen...I miss my friends and family and..."

He walked over to you, urging you to look at him. His slicked back hair had his bangs drying first near his face. Framing his features perfectly. Eyes desperate and eyebrows turned up. You had only seen him this vulnerable when he first offered you his blood, even then, this was ten times that. He held you like he could stop you from leaving if he just held on tight enough.

"YN, I know ya miss yer old life but you don't need it no more...We're yer family now."

You shook your head with a forced smile. "They don't think that. They welcomed me but that's only because of you."

"They do! Even if they didn't...I-" He hesitated, running a hand through his hair and lookibg lost for words for the first time in a long time. He sighed, looking back at you. "You're my life now. I need you..."

You looked up at him as he brought your hand up to cup his cheek, leaning his face into your touch. "Ya gonna make me say it, huh?"

You raised a brow, unsure what 'it' was.

He gave you an earnest look. "...Alright, fuck it. I ain't afraid to say it... I'm fallin for ya. Completely fallin head over heels for you, honey." Your breath caught at the words matched with that vulnerable stare he gave you. "You think I turn jus anyone? Why do you think everyone was so damn shocked around here? Why do you think they gave you such a hard time? Cause they ain't used to it. You're my first and my only."

You opened your mouth, touched beyond beilef. "I...Diamondback called me your mate...Am I?"

He smiled against your palm. "In my eyes you are...But do you wanna be?"

You thought a moment. No more friends or family, no more pets, no more sunlight. That's what you were leaving behind. It's like you just died and walked off the face of the Earth. Then you thought of what you were getting. A newfound family that was already welcoming you after your kill, no aging, no job, no society pressures, no fear, godlike abilities, and a man that you had never felt feeling before like you did him. He was offering it all to you and you just had to say yes.

Your silence stretched out and his face twisted anxiously. You finally nodded. "Okay."

"...Okay?" He raised his brows staring at you before you smiled at him. "Okay, I'll stay. Because...I'm falling for you too. I mean, I think it's obvious but since you said it so I better say it back, huh?"

"Only if you mean it."

"I do...I'm falling in love with you, Severen."

You saw a slow smile spread over his face as his eyes had nothing but love in them for you. He leaned forward to kiss you. It was unlike all the other firm or passionate or sloppy kisses he usually gave. It was slow, tender and like he was pouring every ounce of his feelings for you into it. He pulled away before wrapping you up in an embrace. Your arms went under his leather jacket as he held you close.

"You won't regret, darlin. You an me are in this together. Forever."

You smiled at that. "Forever? That's a long time."

"I'm gonna love you every minute of it too."

[versadies]

My thoughts/comment about the prologue & first chapter: OMG DAN 😳😳 IT WAS SO GREAT !! 💖 i could feel the seeping pain from the past and the glances to each other that feels so awkward after many years had passed. There is a hint of odd feeling between you and Ayato, and if only Ms. Chisato knows... It was more than a bestfriend. Ayato, could've said more but instead paid you the action of him leaving instead, with final remarks saying that it was good to meet you. And i'm unsure why i'm so hyped up,,, maybe because Diluc is going to be an important character later 👀 (i remember stating at the survey that he is also my favorite;;;) Also i'm grateful for Zhongli to solve our "plus one for hire" problem, he's a great company to be with as well— i could imagine it :DD he's chill and would understand the situation. Up til now as I'm typing this, I could feel the broken promises and shattered future that you have idealized with Ayato. Ayato may have broke it up between the two of you, however he remains by his word of marrying in Mondstadt, specifically with the venue of the Goth Grand Hotel. Bitter, isn't it? He had cut off the connection between you, and yet here you are at his wedding— at the same location that you both dreamt of getting married at— but he's with someone else, rather than you. I honestly feel like not attending his wedding if not for the luxurious benefits 😌 The same purple eyes he used to gaze at you full of love became replaced with empty emotions, it feels like it was even forced and just done for the sake of courtesy and politeness. I was hissing in pain until *ahem* the Ragnvindr showed up. 😤 I'm trying my best to keep myself restrained but I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE FUTURE PARTS WITH DILUC 😩 this will be one of the only times i'll be exposing myself because i also want to genuinely pour my whole 🍰ussy in this comment as i promised <333 honestly at this point, i might consider this fic series of yours as my birthday gift too !! (If that's alright for me to consider it as, of course 💗 if you will allow me 😅) It just came to me that i'd be grateful for the blessings i'm getting whether it's an actual gift for me or something that isn't really my gift but something i'm thankful for (like this series of yours 👀) ✨ Given that the next release would possibly be on the next Saturday too 😌 (which is exactly my birthday) 🤔 So once again, thank you for this milestone series 🤩 it was wonderful and i hope to be able to finish it till the end. I understand your friend sending concerning amount of paragraphs now 😤 i'd do the same as well after reading your published chapters at the moment.

— I hope this would satisfy you enough, 🍰 <33

COMRADE THIS IS MORE THAN ENOUGH, i didnt expect you to have so much to say about it tysm 😭😭💞💞💞💞 you definitely got all the details right and im so speechless with your sweet comment — and please, feel free to think of this series as a gift to you !! — im glad i did a good decision in putting diluc to the series since he’s your favorite :DDD and rest assured ill make sure the next chapter will be released on your birthday !! take it as my special gratitude for putting your whole 🍰ussy in the comment of my first ever series <333 im sure my friend would be delighted to know that they’re not alone about my series 👊👊👊