#until later my guys <33333

[ronanlynchbf]

saying "this is unbearable" abt things yet still continuing to bear them. give it up for the human spirit everyone 🙏👆👍💪💪💪❗❗❗

[signedkoko]

Heyo! I return!!!!

Could I get a mammon, blitzø and alastor (separate) with a wife reader who’s really oblivious and ditzy? Sorta like a bimbo?

🦷 anon! <33333

Alastor | Blitzo | Mammon [Romantic]

In which their partner is extremely oblivious and ditzy.

Well, that's what he was here for, isn't it?

To make it look like you know what you're doing, to be the reason or you little 'show'

According to the public eye, if you're his partner then theres no way it's not a character, Alastor would NEVER date a clutz, let alone have the patience for one

Alastor found these little whispers amusing

Everyone thought they had some idea of what he was, but they were always throwing darts at the wrong board

All the better for him, he gets the joy of you making every day new and exciting as well as the strange rumours people came up with about the two of you

Everyone else was just so boring, so pitiful to the overlord

Either kneeling to his every wish, or putting on a face until he left them alone, or the rare run away screaming

But when you bumped into him on the street, you asked him if he was that 'one guy who tortured people and put it online' before you even apologized

Then you asked if he would kill you, and when he said yes, you asked if he could not

Oh yes, that made him laugh alright, you were such a cracking star

Anytime you might ask something stupid, he turns it into a joke and explain it to you later behind closed doors

Falling? tripping over yourself? He catches you and makes it look like a romantic dip, or a small dance

To him, you're cluelessness has its charm, because you've always been so honest and forward about everything that he doesn't ever feel like he has to pull secrets from you

You also amuse his every little quirk, which everyone else just finds weird, so that's a major plus

Oh my god he is so stupid

But you make him look so smart it's insane, just add you to the room and suddenly he's a genius

At first, it was just by comparison, but now in order to compensate for you he is always trying his best to be the smartest he can be

Especially in his line of work, Blitzo doesn't like the idea of making a mistake that could cost your life

So instead he trains to make sure he can save you when you need it

You guys are very damsel in distress/knight in shining armour

Except this kind of backfires because him being so serious starts to get him caught a lot...and you always manage to get him out (usually by mistake)

Like that one time you busted into a room full of 20 armed demons and dropped your gun when they came at you, but it went off and landed in a crate of explosives

I mean both of you were very injured but you both got out soooo

" You really are the dumbest slut I know, my sweetie-pie. "

He gets really defensive about you, though

Sure, he’s your husband so he can make fun of you

But if anyone else calls you anything along the lines of stupid or useless he blows up on them

Sure, you're a bit oblivious, but they don't know your talents, and all the things you teach him behind closed doors

He won't let anyone get away with being cruel to you

A little bit of a roger rabbit and jessica rabbit duo

Honestly exactly his type

Extremely wealthy husband and his bimbo wife?

The newspaper headlines go crazy for you guys and your strange duo, and a lot of photos of the two of you together are popular

Sort of funny looking tree man and his dolled up wifey

He's not really the brightest either, not when it comes to simple things that don't have to do with money or his status

So you are both very oblivious to things that aren't entirely straightforward and always have to whisper back and forth about a topic until you can figure it out

Two idiots in love

Nevertheless, he loves your dependance on him

He likes that you are always by his side in case you need help, so you are safe and sound

He's just as clingy as you are, he always has one arm around your waist

Calls you all sorts of sort of derogatory pet names but in a loving way

Dolly, sweetheart, gorgeous, legs, etc etc

Honestly though you are also probably explaining as much to him as he is you, just in different topics

But he has the confidence to go with his lack of knowledge and obliviousness

And confidence gets you far

" Yeah, like, the moon is full once a week or some shit "

" Isn't it once a month? "

" No doll, that's how often a blue moon occurs. "

" Ohh! Like once in a blue moon? "

Anyone overhearing this shit is fucking rolling in their grave 

Author's Note - Hiii welcome back tooth anon!!! Sorry this took a hot min, for some reaosn this prompt was so hard for me but I REFUSED to give up (Never sleep never what!?!?!) Thank you for requesting, and I hope you enjoy!

[signanothername]

ngl, I kinda think I am the Duality of a Dream Sans fan.

And I say this, mostly because there are twos types of Dream I enjoy seeing in utmv media.

Fucked Up Trauma boy. He had trauma, it's acknowledged, and he's struggling with it. Does he actually start to stop being in denial and cope until much later? Nope. But we just love throwing angst and trauma onto these little guys, don't we? Most trauma he had involves guilt, self-blame, struggling with emotions, struggling with people-pleasing, saying no is hard, he has to save everyone, failure is not an option, etc. etc

Badass Dream. Wipes the floor with other in combat. Can and will curbstomp someone if need be. Takes no bull from anyone. Coping pretty well, all things considers. Probably pretty physically strong too(I headcanon all three Stars are physically strong, like, a lot, but here, it's a lot more portrayed)

Love seeing both of these, do you see the vision?

I absolutely see it Anon, I see it <3333

I actually love both these, and tbh, I can enjoy any interpretation of Dream as long as it doesn’t:

1- infantilize him (let this bitch be the grandpa he is)

2- makes him an asshole/secretly a bad guy to make Nightmare look good in comparison (he can be badass without being a jerk)

Funny enough, I think my interpretation of Dream is kinda in the middle of these two??? Like some sort of combination??

Idk how to explain it, but my interpretation of Dream can be summed up in 2 pics

Like Dream is full of trauma and isn’t coping well at all, he makes a lot of mistakes as he journeys through life after he’s free from stone, but he’s also badass and eventually learns to put his foot down when he needs to, he’s also a pretty good fighter actually (was forced to learn quickly if he wanted to survive), all while still being the kind big hearted lil guy despite it all

And nothing is more badass to me then to be kind in a world that shows him nothing but cruelty <33333

[artistic-intrxvert]

hey so how do you think the turtles rottmnt would deal with having a s/o and Casey slips up a “Mr/Mrs Hamato” to the s/o and it dawns on s/o right away what that means and if their turtle picks up on it and brings it up. S/o remains silent until then with yes or no answers when usually they’re way more talkative. S/o is like “Don’t you dare start. We’re on mission and we’re too young to be talking about this right now” Makes it sound like it’s an option when they’re both 30 or something, but they’re panicking by hearing this news right now, they’re making excuses not to talk about it, and they clearly need time to process it? 😂 (s/o does want to marry their turtle eventually, but this news freaked them out. Even the krang alien didn’t freak them out as much as knowing they get married to their boyfriend does).

HAISKEKEKR YES

Rise!Turtles when Casey Jr calls their s/o “Ms/Mr/Mx Hamato”

Donnie

Donnie would probably do a double take…then a triple take

Bros just standing there like🤨”tf?”

When he finally processes it, he corrects Casey

“Ah, but that is where you are wrong. (Name) isn’t my spouse. We’re just in a romantic relationship, but not legally married.”

Yeahhh he goes into the technical stuff about it

Casey explains it’s just habit since you and Donnie hang out a lot

Eventually Donnie doesn’t seem to care, sometimes he might use it to tease even

“Yes, I would agree that’s a good plan. And how about you, Ms/Mr/Mx Hamato? What say thee?”

Not quite as flustered but more in the confused side of things

Leo wouldn’t stop teasing him, Raph occasionally would tease

Mikey is just doing little happy stims in the corner because of how adorable he thinks it is

(Donnie likes it but will never on Galileo’s name admit it)

Mikey

Seems confused at first but wraps an arm around your shoulder before explaining

“Oh! No, we’re not married! Not yet, at least. (Name) is just my partner!”

Istg he’s so wholesome about this I can’t-

He’d use it but not in a teasing way (50/50 he will whisper it just to see your reaction)

The others seemed confused considering Mikey was the youngest of them all and there was no way they could even imagine him getting married at that age

Even they correct Casey, again explaining that you two were only dating

Mikey does get used to it but always gets excited to hear it, clinging onto you tightly and giggling

Leo

SMUG. ASS. BITCH.

Bro grins from ear to ear, nodding

“Ms/Mr/Mx Hamato~? Damn, I never thought you’d love me so much as to take my last name~?”

Yeah you bonked him over the head with your phone after that

(He whined…A LOT)

He’s constantly teasing you about it, like 24/7 constantly

There have been a few times where he’s accidentally said it without realizing and it has confused literally everyone in the room

Like he says it on accident and they’re all just “🧍”

He didn’t even notice! He just thought you guys were quiet!

Later in the day he does realize it and then face palms himself while his face heats up

Sometimes if the others tease him and he’s had too much of it he’ll bury his head into your neck </3

Raph

My big man Raph

The dude

The guy

The silly

He just corrects Casey, doesn’t even feel flustered

Okay maybe a bit…

No he’s very flustered

He won’t admit the tho…(ids obvious he is)

Raph would correct him and probably wouldn’t tease you

If he would it would probably be after a long day of fighting and you both would be too exhausted to even think too much about it

“Jeez…You did good today…Ms/Mr/Mx Hamato…”

You looked at him confused bc like

Did your sweet innocent kind caring Angel of a boyfriend tease you?

If you’re too quiet afterwards he might think he said something wrong so don’t do that </3

He really doesn’t mind the whole thing but honestly he has thought about it being a real thing one day

-

Thank you so much for your request! Feel free to leave something else if you’d like! Have a wonderful day/night!! <33333

[shubblelive]

— HYPOTHETICAL CAT

summary : your first time staying with wilbur since the beginning of your long-distance relationship, and you're already dreading leaving him. luckily for you, you may not have to.

genre : fluff

warnings : slightly dialogue heavy?? not proofread unlike usual but i think we're good

pairing : cc!wilbur soot x cc!fem!reader

pronouns : none (you/yours) BUT wilbur referrs to reader as a girl

featuring : cc! wilbur soot

requested : Could you do a wilbur fic where him and the reader have a long distance relationship? And one day when she comes and visits him, he admits he cant go such long periods of time without seeing her, so he proposes that she moves in with him, the rest is up to you, thank you! xx

word count : 873

note : okay i wrote this all in one day which i never do but it was a struggle. but, i power through for you guys. i hope you enjoy this <33333

No one told you when you started out that your favourite thing about content creation would be the webcam quality. Of course, it was definitely something you could live without, but on nights when it was just you and Wilbur, a video call on your desktop as your sun rose and his set, the fact that you could see him in picture perfect vision was occasionally the only thing holding you together. 

But then suddenly, he was right in front of you.

You and Wilbur had been together for nearly three years, meeting at a creator event ages ago. You’d seen him at a panel and he’d waited in line to meet you just to give you his phone number, asking you to call him, and two weeks later he was calling you darling. 

You’d known at that first meeting that you lived awfully far from each other, but that hadn’t been thought of as a particularly big issue until the two of you started dating, and then it was comparable to torture. You’d have semi-regular meetings where he’d fly to your place and stay with you for a couple of days. This time, though, this was different.

“You have been holding out on me,” your voice was heavy with sleep, your head in Wilbur’s lap as the two of you watched something, some nature documentary that was playing so softly it was almost designed to put you to sleep. “Your couch is so much more comfortable than mine is.”

Wilbur looked down at you fondly. “My bad,” he laughed steadily, careful not to be too loud. “I guess I thought that if you got to experience the wonders of my sofa you’d only wanna come here, I wouldn’t get to come see you as much.”

“I knew you and Mr Gardener had some weird thing going on,” you said, accusatory with a smile draped across your face.

“He makes you bread!” Wilbur defended. “How are you not obsessed with him?”

You cracked one of your eyes open sleepily, hand coming up to reach for his. He took it eagerly, drinking in your figure as you lay on his couch. “I’m pretty sure he’s not the one doing it.”

Wilbur threw his head back to rest against the couch, letting out a puff of air. “Okay, maybe Emily is the one doing the actual baking, but you can’t tell me that Mr Gardener doesn’t add to the experience.”

“I’m sure he does.” You hummed.

“You can not seriously tell me that baking a loaf of bread is not made infinitely better by the presence of a cat.”

You paused. “Okay, okay. It would be.”

Wilbur let out a pleased noise, moving down to run his hands up and down the exposed skin by your collarbone. “We should get a cat,”

His voice was barely loud enough for you to hear it, your eyes closed and his voice heavy with exhaustion. The two of you had been out all day on the first day of your visit, finally taking a moment to rest. 

“Should we?” You mused. “Who gets custody?”

Wilbur made a choking sound like the answer was obvious. “Well- I would, right?”

You forced yourself up, yawning as you brought your knees to your chest. “Why am I jealous of our hypothetical cat right now?”

Wilbur chuckled and reached for you, sitting forward on his knees, gently tugging at your calves until he was resting on your chest. “You don’t have to be,” he pointed out. “I’ve got a very big bed. And an entire section of wardrobe that I’m not using, and-”

“Wilbur,” you chided. “You know it’s not as easy as me simply never going home. Believe me, if I could spend the rest of my life curled into this couch, I would but-”

Wilbur sighed dramatically, pulling himself off you and standing up. “There you go, dream crusher,” he let out an exaggerated groan, taking you by the hand and pulling you up. His cheek was pressed against the side of your face, hands interlocked. “Crushing my dreams all crush-ier and dreamy.”

You let out a giggle as he poked your side. “You think I’m dreamy?”

“So dreamy,” he nodded. “Dream girl material right here, loves me, loves our future cat-”

“Loves your sofa,” you added dreamily. 

“And before I let you two get a room, please just consider moving in with me?” He begged gently. “Come on, wouldn’t it be so nice? Just you and me, I’d even let you name the cat. Please?”

“I’m not doing it for you.” You conceded. “I’m doing it for Rhubarb and all of the future kisses I am going to get from him on my new couch.”

He kissed you on the forehead. “Okay, I’ll leave you guys alone, I see where I’m not wanted.” He pressed another one on the side of your mouth.

“No,” you groaned, trying to drag him back on the couch. “I don’t have our cat yet, I need someone to shower me with affection.”

He huffed as he sat back on the couch, letting you collapse on top of him, revelling in the comfortable weight of you pressed against him. “Fine, fine. If I must.”

[ilikebookssomuch]

So I had this AU idea a while ago and today I finally got around to writing it in class :D

So um. Read. Cry. Enjoy.

*TW implied suicide* read with caution

Gone

By Cricket

Keefe wished Havenfield had normal windows. He figured having floor-to-ceiling windows was nice, but it was making it really hard to break in, especially while levitating. Keefe cursed under his breath, painstakingly removing the panes of glass. When they finally gave way, he rolled inside, the flower petals in Sophie’s rug crushed beneath him. Iggy rattled his cage, reaching tiny hands through the bars. 

“Hey, little guy,” he whispered, tickling Iggy’s chin. “I’ve got something for you.” Keefe pulled a vial of dye out of his pocket. After popping the quark, he opened the cage and poured the elixir into Iggy’s water bowl. The imp gulped down the elixir and released a loud burp. A moment later, his fur turned shades of green-pink-blue-purple with stripes. He looked like a mermaid with wings, and Keefe released a chuckle.

Iggy seemed very pleased and started licking his new fur. Keefe walked over to Sophie’s desk, digging through the drawers until he found a scrap of paper and a pen. He wrote his note quickly, not wanting to leave time to reconsider what he was about to do. When he was finished, he scanned over his work.

To the Mysterious Miss F,

Ugh, I’m already regretting saying this. But this is serious.

 I know that a lot has been happening lately, with your abilities, and my crazy mother. And I’m sorry. But I figured out a way to control myself. I hope you won’t hate me for it. 

This is for the best. 

Love, Keefe.

P.S. I love you, Sophie. Always have. Always will.

Goodbye.

Keefe tucked the note next to Iggy’s cage and then headed to her bathroom. He knew that the Ruewens had a large supply of medicine, and knowing Foster, he could find what he was looking for in her cabinets. 

Bingo. He tucked the vial into his cape pocket and pulled out his Pathfinder, spinning it to a random facet and raising it to the light streaming through the windows. Before he stepped into the shimmering beam, Iggy fluttered to the top of his cage and grabbed his hand, gazing up at Keefe. Iggy’s small hands wrapped around his finger. 

Tears filled Keefe’s eyes, but he blinked them back and said, “Take care of Foster for me, okay?”

Iggy seemed to nod and reluctantly let go of his finger. The last thing Keefe saw as he stepped into the light was Grady opening the door to Sophie's bedroom, eyes widening in surprise. “Keefe? What are you doing here?”

But Keefe was gone. 

He glittered back into existence in a small wheat field in the Forbidden Cities. Keefe glanced around, but he saw no other humans. Good. This would work. 

He pulled out the medicine, reading the small label that said to take a sip every three hours. Ha. Keefe ripped off the label, shoving it in his pocket before opening the bottle. 

He downed the whole vial, collapsing onto the tall yellow grass. 

“Sleep,” was all he was able to croak out as his vision rapidly darkened.

Then everything faded to black.

And he was silent.

Forever.

Ok I know I know I know please don't yell at me. There might be an alternate ending to this, so don't hate me yet :/ (It hurt me to kill off my boy too, jsyk)

Tag list because...why not. @myfairkatiecat because we were going to write this together and I think you'll want to read it. @ham-cheese-toastie because COGNATEEE <33333 @alaydabug2 @permanently-stressed because other fic writers. And my brain is blanking on me, so that's all.

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

Hi! I ended up reading through Choas Plan in pretty much two days (your writing is actually phenomenal) but I was actually curious on your inspirations to write it? Did it come from any other particular works or maybe episodes from sp?

WHAT NO WAY😭😭😭😭😭😭WHAT THE HELL THAT'S SO NICE HOLY SHIT THANK YOU SO MUCH <33333

You can't just ask me shit like that dude I will respond with a huge fucking essay I LOVE questions like that!!!!

I honestly have several inspirations, many come from the show itself and some I've drawn from cyber crime documentaries and books I like (namely the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo, you might recognize the scene with Mysterion and Harris in chapter 3 is very VERY similar to the one between Kaz and Jan Van Eck at the beginning of the book), but if you've read the notes in the fic you might have seen that the story idea was initially born when I was playing TFBW.

The Idea

The U-Stor-It scene where Butters/Chaos locks the C**n and Friends in the facility and talks to them through a screen was just so fascinating to me, it reminded me a lot of Jinx from Arcane and the Joker in The Dark Knight (especially because of the flashy decorations and graffiti). Mainly the story evolved from the question I posed to myself in that moment, which was: "What needs to happen for Butters to become someone like Jinx?" and that's how I started brainstorming the backstory.

The Backstory

Obviously that was inspired mainly by Linda's behavior in Butters' Very Own Episode, but it features elements from stuff all over the series and the games that prove just how fucked up Butters' parents are and treat him.

(Remember when in TFBW he mentioned that they bought an electronic lock system to keep him in his room because he left the bathroom once while grounded? yeah, that convinced me Butters' home life probably would only get worse with the years, especially with him entering his teens & puberty, and Post Covid honestly just confirmed that.)

The Villain/Hero Concept

I hadn't yet watched much more of South Park than up until seasons 15/16 so I didn't know about Post Covid's Vic Chaos yet, I mostly just wanted to do something with Mysterion and Chaos that had a darker and serious tone without either of them having any Marvel-esque powers or tech-organizations aiding them, something closer to the South Park lore at hand and realistic enough to feel like it could happen in our world.

Chaos' Methods

With Butters having a knack for Internet-related shit and him being able to hack into a baseball stadium screen to broadcast his evil plans in the Professor Chaos episode, and ofc his whole thing in TFBW and the episode of him becoming a pimp, I figured he has the stuff to be a hacker and entrepreneur.

I started getting spoilered a lot on the whole Vic Chaos and NFT scammer thing so even though I hadn't watched Post Covid I drew a lot of inspiration from that as well. I've been watching a lot of documentaries on Cryptocurrency scams and other cyber crime related stuff, so yeah all that shit also gets my brain generating a bunch of ideas as well.

Mysterion

As for Kenny/Mysterion's side of the story- I'm a huge fan of the "criminal who gets paid by a shitty pig/capitalist who would normally never hire them to take on a job" concept in Six of Crows, so that's how I got Harris involved, later further fueled by his Thin White Line arc in TFBW.

The way Kenny used his death powers in the C**n & Friends episodes I found very intriguing, and I absolutely LOVE playing around with them, so I included my own interpretation & spin of it as an active "superpower" he uses in order to be successful enough as a vigilante to be taken seriously. His canon powers separate him from your average humanbeing. It's a way to show the audience "hey look, Kenny really is just some guy, but also no one else could take on this role, ever. He may not have super strength or speed or money for equipment backing him, but he can get into places and out like no other person ever."

Coming up with a kryptonite-type weakness was also super fun, because I didn't want things to just be too easy. Mainly it's his need to remain anonymous, but the biggest reason for that need is because he needs to keep up his ability to financially support Karen. That, I obviously got from the show-, namely episodes like Mysterion Rises, The Poor Kid and City Part of Town, but his dynamic with Karen got increasingly more interesting and influenced in the fic after I played the TFBW DLC From Dusk Til Casa Bonita. The fact that he's so obsessed with keeping her safe the best way he knows how but completely overlooks to consider letting her have a say in it, is absolutely delicious. Like fuck yes, let's go complicate these character relationships (rubs hands evilly)

TL;DR

Inspirations come from all over, but of course the main ones do come from the show and games. Kenny and Butters have always been increasingly fascinating characters to me the more I watched the show, so the fact that Kenny canonically is the only kid Butters respects (source: s16, Ep "Going Native"), to an extent that in the future Butters funded his entire career, I thought had a shit ton of potential. Hence their friendship in the fic before "the incident", and the way Butters goes about Kenny now that he's taking over the town >:)))

Thank you SO SO MUCH for the ask!!!! I hope I didn't ramble too much for what you actually wanted to know, but I just absolutely love sharing my inspirations for this fic. Really gets my brain go brrrrr heheheh I'm so so grateful that this interests you <33333

[phantomvegetable]

♡ Hello there ♡

Coming in to politely ask if you'd be happy doing a request for Legion (of the Frank variant please). 100% fine with creative liberties, but I'd adore a story following along the lines of the reader being an old flame before he ended up in the fog, and he is delighting in being a general nuisance for old times sakes. Why be nice and romantic when you can be a pain ♡

ALSO! All the best to you, your writing is really cool from what I've read, and I'm hyped you opened up requests ♡♡♡

h-HI *VIBRATING UNCONTROLLABLY* KSKSKSKDJ

YES ABSOLUTELY <33333 i love the dynamic, hehehehehheehhe

THANK YOU SO MUCH btw ;;A;; it makes my day / makes me want to write more when I hear things like this !! I really appreciate it <3

Legion (Frank) x Reader

ghosts of the future notes: soulmate au, legion members are 18+ at time of disappearance and during reader’s interactions w/ them before the fog tw’s: frank is an ass, strong language, canon typical violence & maybe some torture ?

What would it take to find out what happened to Frank Morrison?

That would be your question for the next two years after his disappearance along with his friends (if you could even call them that—they mostly just followed him around like deranged cult members… but, then again, they were your friends, too). The fucker left you with far too many questions, an unforgiving anger, and the tragic mark of a soulmate.

Yes, Frank was your soulmate—it was proven by the unsuspecting fingerprints wrapped around your wrist in an attempt to grab you during one of your more violent moments of roughhousing. It left Frank speechless, for once; meanwhile, you went berserk. Julie was his girlfriend, not you—you were just some bonus lackey with far too much time on your lonely hands and a concerning obsession with crime.

You avoided him and the Legion for days; only coming into contact with Frank when he approached you one night, alone and seemingly troubled.

“We’re finally doing it,” Frank muttered with his hands in his pockets, masked face turned away from you. “Making a name for ourselves. It’s happening tonight.”

“Good for you,” You barked out bitterly, arms crossed as you stood uneasily in your living room. “I won’t bail you out if you guys get caught.”

“Come with us,” Frank offered after a beat of silence, finally facing you with an outstretched hand. Just looking at it made you shudder—made you want to run and hide. He seemed to sense your discomfort and pocketed his hands instead, straightening himself out before you.

“I—“ You shifted, glancing away warily. “I can’t.” Frank seems to pick up on the double meaning, huffing in irritation.

“Look, Toots. Just because we’re marked or whatever doesn’t mean we haf’ta act like strangers or nothin—“

“I don’t care!” You had snapped, baring your teeth like a caged animal. “Maybe it doesn’t mean that much to you, Frank, but it does to me.” He doesn’t respond. You curl in on yourself even tighter and turn your back to him. “So just—just go.”

You didn’t mean for him to take it literally. He left you alone after that, going so far as to vanish seemingly from existence after the uncovering of a janitor’s dead body just a few days later.

But you wouldn’t let him get away that easily.

The stubborn fire that kept you alive this long coaxed into you following Frank’s trail, leading you down the same path that ended up with blood on your hands. The fog came shortly after. And when it did, you were still the one hunting. Hunting answers, hunting a hunch, hunting feelings that wouldn’t go away.

The trials were easy. You simply had to slash, stab, and destroy through them until the fog returned you to the same decrepit building that quickly became home; and, the place that you continued your search.

“Still obsessing over lover boy, hmm?” A sickly sweet voice purrs from behind, stirring you from your pondering. You barely flinch.

“What do you want, Danny?” You sigh, removing your mask to rub at your face in exhaustion.

“What, I can’t visit my favorite psycho?” He chirps playfully, fiddling with the decaying photo of you and the Legion from where he sits in the dark. You swipe it from his grubby little hands with a look that could kill. “Easy, tiger,” The masked murderer lifts his hands in mock defense. “I was just looking.”

“Yeah, well, could you not?” You groan, hunching over various notes splayed out messily on a desk. “I’m trying to concentrate.” You feel his stare on your back, the sensation louder than the silence that follows.

“You know, I could just show you where he and his puppets hang out.” The way you turn around and stare at Danny is almost comedic.

“What?” You seethe out after a moment, bones popping from how tight you ball your hands into fists. “You mean you knew where he was this whole time and said nothing?” Danny shrugs.

“You never asked.”

The urge to strangle someone was never stronger than in that moment, and you told Danny as much. He just smiles coyly from behind the mask.

When you arrive at Mount Ormond, the numbing cold is a welcomed sensation as freezing winds nip at your skin. Anything to distract you from the nerves that ate at your insides like maggots feasting on a corpse.

The instructions Danny gave you were simple enough, and even though the drawing of the cabin where the Legion supposedly camped out in was utter shit, you found yourself on the doorstep of a to-be reunion with your old mates. It felt way too formal to knock; so you fell into the familiar habit of entering unannounced, climbing through a second-story window that was left unlocked after discovering that the front door wouldn’t budge. Typical.

Tiptoeing through an unwelcoming room consisting of one worn-out couch and a busted TV, the telltale mark of a Legion mask—Susie’s, from the looks of it—resting on a torn cushion has your heart lifting as your fingers stretch to brush against it. They really were here. You swallow thickly.

“Susie?” You find yourself calling out, stepping into the empty corridor. You look left, then right. Nothing. You try a room down the hall, finding no sign of life there either. “Joey? It’s me!”

“They’re not here,” A strikingly haunting voice that makes your breath stutter says coolly from behind, causing the hairs on the back of your neck to stand up straight and chills to prickle all along your arms. Turning to face your ghost, your gaze strikes like iron against Frank’s green one hidden from behind a smiling mask that looks like it’s taken a decent beating over the years. His arms are crossed, and he leans nonchalantly against the wall in an unbothered display. But you knew Frank, and he was pissed. And, quite honestly, so were you.

You find your fists tightening as you stand across from him just like that night, becoming more and more angry. Even more annoyingly, Frank senses this and sighs, unwinding his posture to mimic that of someone trying to calm a wild beast. “Toots—“

That did it.

With a snarl, you spring forward; your fist connecting with Frank’s stupid smiling mask and cracking it nearly in half. He grunts out in shock as he tried to dodge your right hook, hands instinctively catching your wrists just like they did that fateful day and pulling you with him as Frank is sent careening to the floor.

And, just like that, the two of you are whisked into a trial.

You’re still on top of Frank when you spawn outside, wrestling him into the snow.

“What is wrong with you?!” Frank hisses, teeth bared visibly from where you broke his mask.

“What’s wrong with me?!” You laugh cruelly, using your hips to pin him down. “What’s wrong with you?! You fucking disappeared, Frank!” He exerts an impressive amount of strength in order to throw off balance, flipping you over.

“And why would that fucking matter to you?” He retorts. “You’re the one who shut us out!”

“Well excuse me for needing a minute!” You bristle, struggling against his hold. “I had just found out that my soulmate is an asshole who also happens to be insane!”

That strikes something in Frank. He growls audibly as he pulls you up, immediately shoving your face into the snow and making a hasty retreat. You gasp as you stagger to your feet, spitting out melted chunks of ice. You whip around to search for your culprit, eyes narrowing at the sight of Frank running towards the town.

“Coward!” You call after him, giving chase.

You pass multiple survivors that are surely watching on in a stupor as you catch up to Frank, tackling him to the ground again. The two of you grapple until he has you pinned again, this time holding a knife to your throat. Your fury flares.

“Enough!” He commands. “If you want to prove something so badly, why don’t you show me what you can do?” Frank emphasizes his point by pulling his knife away and hurling it at the first unlucky bystander that attempts to flee, sending him to his hands and knees. As the man—Dwight, you bothered to remember—cries out in agony, you glare up at Frank’s slowly-forming smirk, knowing he’s caught your interest.

“Fine,” You relent, and Frank releases you. You stomp to where Dwight grovels, brandishing your own weapon and striking him down without a moment’s hesitation. Jutting your chin over your shoulder at Frank—who fails to hide his smugness—you remove the knife embedded in Dwight’s shoulder and toss it at the brute’s feet, pulling your own accoutrement free. Without waiting, you move on to your next victim, leaving Frank behind to watch you ruthlessly chase them down. He grins, joining you in the hunt.

The two of you manage to bring down five of the eight survivors, wreaking havoc to generators along the way. It becomes a sick sort of game between the two of you to see who can kill the most, and just how diabolically you executed the final blow. Unexpectedly, it does a lot to bring your anger to a simmer; your tensed muscles finally relaxing from their coils as you hack, hack, hacked away.

Another survivor falls to the ground beneath you, dead.

“That’s six,” You announce, Frank just a few feet ahead of you. He laughs—a sound that tickles your brain.

“Keeping count, are we?” He teases. There’s a playful lilt to his voice that you haven’t heard in years—a welcomed gesture.

“Someone has to,” You quip back, and Frank laughs again. You smile.

You step over the carcass and vault the window that was so narrowly missed by the unfortunate woman Frank has trapped underfoot, coming to stand by his side as she squirms and fights to no avail.

“You’re sick!” She gasps, moaning in pain as Frank increases pressure, surely breaking a rib or two.

“That’s no way to talk to the lady,” He jeers, eyes flickering at you. You snort.

“Both of you! You t-two are—ack—psychos!”

You half-expect another witty remark from Frank, half-expect him to snuff her out.

What you don’t expect are his next words.

“Then we must be perfect for each other,” He mumbles, making your ears perk. “We’re soulmates, you know?” Your heart backflips.

“Frank,” You begin to warn him, but he continues.

“Fuckin’ soulmates, you hear?” He suddenly grabs your hand and you go rigid, the contact making your stomach turn. The two of you had been wearing gloves for the entirety of the match, so no marks would be visible—but the touch was enough to make your skin tingle underneath the material. The woman’s brows tighten.

“K-Killers can’t have soulmates,” She wheezes. “You don’t have souls.” Frank’s hand tightens around your own.

“Well it’s a good thing you ain’t God, ain’t it?” He utters snidely before driving his heel down as hard as he can, ending her life. Seven. You let go of Frank’s hand and step back, Frank letting you.

“What the hell, Frank?” You whisper in a shaky breath, clouds of white dispelling the sentiment.

“…I’m sorry,” He tells you finally, turning to face you in shame. His eyes speak of the remorse he feels. “I completely disregarded your feelings when we found out we were marked, and I’m sorry.” Your chest swells in a flurry of emotions.

“But… but you disappeared,” You remind him, unconsciously drawing in on yourself. Frank, ever so cautiously, takes a step towards you.

“It wasn’t my fault,” He speaks calmly, eyes boring into your own. “I was taken by the fog, same as any washed up bastard that ends up here.”

“But—but Julie?” Frank sighs.

“Jules and I… it’s complicated,” He grimaces. “She freaked when she found out I was marked and it wasn’t wit’ her. She doesn’t know it’s you.” Your mouth feels dry.

“But…”

“If I didn’t know any better,” Frank’s voice is low and a husk away, and you didn’t realize just how close he’d gotten. “I’d say you’re fighting for reasons to stay angry at me. Why did you come all the way out here?” Is his disarming question—that, paired with the way his hand brushes cheek when he moves a strand of hair behind your ear—that has you sharply inhaling.

“I—“ You stammer, searching his face. “I was so angry at you,” You begin. “I was so shocked to find out I even had a soulmate, and then you treated it like it wasn’t a big deal—“ Your breath shudders. “I was so mad at you, Frank. To top it off, you up and disappear after telling me you were finally ‘making a name for yourself,’ and a dead body is discovered a few days later? What was I supposed to think, Frank?”

“You could have just let me go,” He mutters, hand lingering on your cheek. You drop your head in resignation, sighing.

“I know,” You grumble. Frank lifts your chin up between his forefinger and thumb as he raises his mask at the same time, finally revealing that same scruffy face you’d grown accustomed to. An oddly soft expression graces his scarred features, and you find yourself unable to speak over the lump in your throat.

“Do you still want to accept me as your soulmate, even with all of…this?” Frank gestures to the empty space where the survivor’s body once was, it having been swallowed up by the entity minutes ago. The chuckle that escapes you surprises even yourself.

“Frank,” You snicker. “I literally just killed people with you. That’s how I ended up here,” You tell him, matching his gaze evenly. He continues to search your eyes for a beat before stepping back.

“In that case…” Frank lowers his mask over his face again, retrieving his knife in one hand while holding the other out to you. “Would you care to finish what we started?”

Whatever anger you held towards Frank in that moment was now gone, seemingly melted away by those eight simple words. You accepted his hand with a small smile; one that said, okay, I’ll trust you. He begins to lead the two of you forward but stops, catching you immensely off guard when he whisks you into his arms, slides his mask up, and plants a massive, wet kiss on your cheek, surely leaving a mark that wouldn’t be so easy to hide without a covering. You let out incoherent noises as Frank slips his mask into place, laughing at your disposition while dodging your sloppy fists.

“Frank, you asshole!” Your words lack any actual bite to them, this serving to make Frank cackle even harder as he once again evades you by taking off with you hot on his heels.

[wannaseewhatshangin]

OMGGG hey tysm💕💕 I absolutely loved the James fic !:) and I’m glad you enjoyed the idea <33333 Okok I have another idea for you hope it’s not too lame!!

Basically rusty James and reader have known each other for quite some time, they met through mutual friend and since then he’s been head over heels for her, but she’s too oblivious to his flirtatious antics. To his dismay though she’s been asked out by some random guy on a date where she either was stood up for or maybe he was being such a prick to her that in both ways she storms out wherever they were. On her way back home she comes across James, who sees her all messed up, frustrated and in tears obviously confused and concerned. And in the end he makes it up for her by taking her on short cute date (of your opinion) and later on probably finds the guy who did all the damage and beats him up lololol

Of course bby! (I LOVE YOUR REQUESTS FR also i'm not putting a date scene for rusty in this because I'm bad at good dates and not ending them like I'm the most traumatized person ever.)

﹛♛﹜But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain.

You walked over to the lunch table, setting your bag down next to Rusty's.

"Oh hey Y/n. What's up?" One of his friends asked you, patting your back. To which you just smiled and said "Nothin much"

Rusty looked at you quietly before returning back to his lunch.

"Oh Rusty guess what. I got asked out yesterday." You smiled brightly, very proud of your accomplishment.

He nearly choked on his food as he looked at you.

"You serious, man? Who? You finally found someone other than me? The man of your dreams?" He said, pretending he didn't believe you as a joke. Only deep down he didn't feel so good. He felt sick and wanted to lay on the floor until the ground swallowed him whole.

"Mac westen" You said with a smug smile, sitting on top of the table.

He felt as if someone grabbed his heart and threw it on the floor right next to him.

"Oh. That's cool I guess. Congrats." He said, not really delivering good energy, which you just brushed off.

Rusty walked you home like he always did, only this time he wasn't talking with a boastful voice. In fact, he barely even spoke.

You gave him a hug, like normal as your arrived at your house. Rusty wanted to cry knowing that he would have to share these hugs with someone else.

"Whats wrong, Rusty?" You asked sweetly as he hugged tighter.

"Nothin'. Just givin' you a good luck hug." He lied right through his teeth. But you didn't have to know that.

You smiled before walking into your house, immediately getting ready for your date. Rusty walked to his house, thinking "When did I let her slip through my fingers?" and "Why can't it be me?" but he knew the answers to both questions. He supposed that maybe he just wasn't your kinda guy and just wanted someone more stable. Or that maybe he could offer you way more than he ever could.

You slipped into a white slip dress and a pair of white heels that had little diamonds on them. You did your hair and makeup, wanting to look absolutely perfect.

Once you were done, you walked to the place where he said the two of you would meet. The diner.

You saw him in the last booth, sitting by himself as he looked at the menu. You walked his way and sat down in front of him, putting your purse on the right side of you. He smirked slightly and took in your figure. You blushed and looked down.

"So uh. What are we doin' tonight?" You spoke quietly.

He rubbed his hand on your thigh. You weren't that phased because Rusty did that all the time when he was nervous or angry. But you were quite uncomfortable for it to be someone else touching you but you pushed the thoughts away and looked at him with a smile.

"Well I was planning on eating and then I can take you back to my place." He spoke as his hand rested on your knee.

You looked at your menu, feeling like he was staring holes into your body.

"Yeah I suppose that I am a bit hungry." You said, ignoring his last suggestion about taking you back to his place. You were honestly scared of what his intentions were.

He nodded before a waitress came up to take your order.

"Hello Darlings what would you like?" Her voice instantly made you smile brightly.

He stared at her figure longer than he had yours, and you were relieved. But you felt sorry for her as well, seeing her uncomfortable expression.

"Um. I would like the steak, Ma'am." You said, trying to distract her from him so she wasn't so uncomfortable anymore.

She nodded, writing your order down, looking at him for his order.

She took his order after a few attempts of him trying to touch her and swoon her with his words.

You almost felt like getting up and going home. This was your first date ever and it was going horrible.

He

He gripped your thigh under the table, surely leaving nail marks. You winced slightly.

"Ow. What the hell?" You exclaimed, kicking your feet.

His hand only went higher and higher, headed under your dress before you push him away and getting up hurriedly,

"Look. Uh, I don't think this is gonna work. You are being a major asshole. And I don't like the way you are touching me. You are hitting on the waitress and trying to slip your hand up my dress. And I'm sure you left a mark on my leg- yep there it is." You said crying, pointing to it.

He rolled his eyes, throwing his menu at you.

"Yeah whatever bitch. I was only trying to get you in bed anyway." He said walking out the door without paying for his food.

You sobbed at the table, leaving a tip for the waitress and also for the food.

You took your heels off and walked out the door. You had mascara stains running down your cheeks and you couldn't believe you didn't see the signs. You just wished you would've picked the right person.

You cried all the way to the bar, sitting outsid

Your thoughts were cut off by someone running into your foot, you said sorry before looking up and meeting with familiar brown eyes.

"Hey doll. You alright?" He asked, wiping your tears as he looked at you in a panic manner.

It was Rusty. You didn't wanna see him. Not saying that you didn't wanna be around him or anything. But not now. You knew he would throw a fit.

He sat down next to you, rubbing your thigh gently, making you pull away.

And it was weird to him because he was used to doing this to calm not only him but it calmed you down as well.

"Doll did he try to touch you or somethin'? He said angrily, before seeing the marks on your thigh.

He stood up, his hand covering his mouth as he tried to keep his cool.

He muttered under his breath about "Killing that bastard." and "Messin' with my girl."

"Rusty it's okay. It just didn't end well and it's fin-"

He didn't even let you finish before kicking something, the tin can rolling onto the parking lot.

"Look doll. You uh, don't need that jerk and you know what? I'm gonna take you out, okay?" He said, putting a piece of hair behind your ear.

You looked at him confused before laughing.

"Rusty James, you know that dates are for people that are in love- or somethin' like that I guess."

Mac definitely didn't feel that way towards you and you regretted even giving him the benefit of the doubt.

"Yeah, I know doll. That..That's what I'm trying to say I guess. And uh, it's fine if you don't want to, we can just go out for a coke just as good old friends." He smiled nervously.

He seemed tuff on the outside but on the inside he was burning up and felt like he was waiting for forever to hear your answer.

"No no. I like that first one, Rusty." You said as you smiled back at him.

"I love you doll." He said before kissing your cheek, pulling out off of the bench and walked down the street with an arm over your shoulder.

(I HOPE YOU LIKE IT LOVEEEE <3 I love when you send in requests it makes my days so much better

[janort]

What’s the average lifespan of a clown? How quickly do they mature?

Also I still haven’t gotten my new clown girl yet >:(( I’ve been waiting patiently lol

Hello! Thank you for the question, clowns lifespans vary drastically from breed to breed and their rate of maturity is still under some debate from professionals, but regarding teacup-circus breeds I can offer my knowledge.

Teacups are often assumed to be short term commitments, much like how people see hamsters compared to dogs, but this is false. Teacups don’t typically live quite as long as larger breeds of clown, (scare-clowns, jesters, ect, are known to commonly age into their late 110’s) but they can easily live as long as a human, their average life-span is around 75-85. It’s not certain exactly why this is, there are a multitude of reasons, but even though teacups don’t typically live quite as long as larger breeds, they are still lifelong commitments and most importantly lifelong friends.

As for how teacups mature, it can depend a lot on what their crossed with, so general statements are not hard and fast rules, rather a rough estimate for the majority of teacups. They are typically considered chucklets (clownlets, chuckles, baby clowns, all common names) for the first 1-2 years of their life. This stage is where the most rapid development takes place.

After that they enter the juvenile stage and continue slowly mature until they reach adulthood. Some teacups grow slightly in size during the juvenile stage, some stay the size they reached during their chucklet-hood. That’s one difference between teacups and other breeds, their juvenile stage doesn’t contain major physical development, teacups spend their juvenile stage developing their brains and immune systems. Porcelain teacups develop a hardened shell when they’re chucklets and slowly build up more and more layers over the course of their juvenile stage. This is why younger porcelains heal better than older porcelains.

Once they’ve been through their juvenile stage they reach adulthood and are full-fledged clowns. Like humans, their development doesn’t necessarily come to a complete halt, but all their major changes have been completed and they’ve developed a core personality. Just like us, they will still learn and grow through the course of their whole lives, simply less in the sense of physical growth and more in the sense of personal growth.

During their later years, 50-70, they begin to slow down and become elder clowns. Sometimes they develop respiratory problems and joint issues, which can be managed easily with the help of a vet. Towards the very end of their lives, many experience certain pains because of age-related conditions and require medication. Some people tend to be scared of medicating their teacups because teacups are so small and seem as though their systems might be overwhelmed by medication, but keeping an elderly clown from pain management is needlessly cruel and with the help of a vet teacups will be able to enjoy their last years without trouble.

I won’t go into huge detail about end-of life care for a teacup because that’s a whole other topic that I could write on and on about, but it’s a process determined by you and your clown together.

So that’s the teacup life, roughly outlined, they are incredible creatures and surprisingly not as different to humans as one might think, in terms of lifespan and maturity. I’m so looking forward to when you get your newest clown, she really seems like something special, and tysm for the asks <33333 good wishes to all your little guys and best of luck with your new clown!!

Happy clowning :o)

[bizlybebo]

hey so i am also batshit insane and not at all normal about Doug Bizlychannel Jerwee and his relationship with summer and i also have a non jrwi friend who is obsessed with Doug and deeply upset at the lack of doug content in the fandom so i am humbly requesting any and all doug ramblings u have in ur brain

HEEELLLLOOOOOOOO HIIHHIIHJ oh i hate that guy soooo muchh<33333

doug is absolutely bisexual and likely Some Form of non-cis but in s1 he had an evil villain job so he didn’t really care. he still doesn’t know .but like. summer is a pride flag sticker sapphic n she has the trans pin on her backpack n everything and so she kind of caught the Vibes on doug and Knows but hasn’t said anything.

hold on the rest of these got kinda Long let me make a cut

doug has a little brother right. he absolutelyyyy used to be one of those older brothers who was soo protective of his sibling and attached at the hip to him until a certain point where he started working for overlord n pushed his brother faaar away to keep his secret, being inferno, under wraps. so his little brother became kind of willing to let Anything slide as long as he could stick to his side like little brothers do,, and he probably Knew something was off and never mentioned it. it was definitely one of those situations hwere he probably thought doug was a hero/vigilante and not a villain.

ALSO i think this is actually said/kinda implied in canon but that summer probably kicked his ass to bring him down during the timeskip (or whenever they started working together). he was probably getting into shit he shouldn’t have and despite her not having powers at the time she still managed to absolutely cook him (cause like. there’s a different between who is technically physically stronger and who would Win A Fight. yknow). liiike i think it happened to be that kind of thing where they were in the middle of an absolute brawl n summer was just refusing to give up and they were exchanging banter/jabs due to already knowing each other somewhat from rockfall high. and right before they went back to exchanging deadly blows the prime rifters just fucking Showed Up. and summer was immediately curious and decided not to let doug get away on the grounds that “they’d finish the fight later” but then everything happened. yk.

ALSO i don’t think bizly actually said it but doug absolutely sacrificed himself for summer against that crazy scientist dude right. like we all saw it that way right. she was dying and he was in agony and likely thought he was dying to and so he decided that for once he was gonna be a good person even if it killed him and let summer take the fuckjn. synthetic skin and superpowers. but he survived anyways and it’s kind of like. that whole thing about “i expected to sacrifice myself for you, for it to all blow up in my face and for me to go with it, for me to be gone. but i survived and now you have to watch me pick up the shards of my life”. but summer “just because it’s rotten work doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it” dileo is like No Actually we are picking these fragments up Together but i am going to Kick Your Ass into being a good person All The Time. goddd does this make any sense i miss tjem so bad…..

also just how summer thinks she’s the only one who Knows about doug being Probably Bisexual But He Has A Job,, i think summer thinks she’s subtle abt her body dysmorphia from the whole superpowers thing. and i think doug realizes what’s going on so he makes fun of her for like. everything else But her appearance (other than joking about her always dying her hair). and he does the subtle things you always do when you’re trying to get it through somebody’s head that they’re beautiful and shouldnt be insecure (in a /p way).

also summer absolutely has dyed doug’s hair a couple times. he’s probably currently rocking w a few red streaks, but sometimes he’ll let summer do blue ones if he’s feeling quirky.

ALSO i’m on my suntrip bullshit i think summer was also trying to fucking track cantrip down during s2 and get her to Stop being a villain (enemies to lovers toxic yuri) but cantrip was wayyyyy more slippery than doug was. however after the incident w the scientist when doug was likely dying, summer had No fucking clue who to go to and. idk if i personally hc this but i think it would be Cool if she found cantrip and was like “hey. no fighting i promise. i seriously need your help can you do this for me. i’ll never bother you again if you can just help me with this”. and summer + prime rifters struck a tentative deal with cantrip + xavier and maybe alan to help doug Survive. does this make any sense sorru i love the pd npcs sooo much. i never stop thinking abt them

[tehriel]

eeee yes wonderful!!!

when you get the chance, i have a request for daddy!aether and/or top!swiss/reader, with a dash of praise~

ty!! you’re amazing <33333

Thank you for the request!!

Tags: that good pasta

I am a little on the demi side so hard kinks and especially power play is hard for me to write about but here is a top!swiss the best I can~ you will see the saucy version below and the spicier version on AO3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49764631/chapters/129237049 If anyone else has a request for me~~ I go for scenarios, feelings, vibes, some days I go full ace with no real warning, so yeah give me things I can play with in most moods :3

I hope you enjoy it~

“Whatcha reading, ______?” Swiss slithered into your nook in the ministry library, and the charming bastard reclined on your desk, grinning at you. The library liked dark woods and the scent of paper; the stained glass windows kept you warm as you sunned yourself against Autumn’s early chill.

“I’m studying for my next sermon, but I’m pretty sure you already knew that,” you gave him a sidelong look.

He only grinned wider with too many teeth, as he did when he was about to bring chaos.

Your tail flickered in his direction. He was a handsome shit. He had dark grey blemishless skin and scruffy cheeks, and he wore a half knot of dreads, leaving the rest to frame his chest. He looked like a trickster god. Eyes black peeled and waiting for the next opening to run with. “What do you want, Swiss?”

“Can’t a pack-mate check on his favourite cardinal?”

Not when a certain pack-mate had the glint in his eye that he usually did. “How are you causing upheaval today?”

“Up-upheaval? Me?” He gripped his chest as if wounded.

You arched a brow. Did you really have to explain yourself? He was the loudest of your pack, the most animated when speaking, and always had a story of how he had gotten up to absolutely no good in hell. Known to have stolen from the princes, known to have taken Mammon’s wife in Mammon’s own bed—known for that grin and all it might entail.

“Right, maybe that is on brand, but I promised I’m on my best behaviour,” he showed all ten of his clawed fingers defensively. “I was just wondering if you wanted dinner with me tonight—alright, maybe there is some ‘upheaval’ on my mind—I have procured a large amount of hard liquor, and I’ve been hanging out to watch this movie Sodo said was funny, uh, ‘Velocipastor’.”

“You have to know Sodo has no fucking taste in movies.”

“Hence the alcohol,” he nodded and grinned, “Meal’s on me; I’m cooking.”

“So there will be reapers in my food again?”

“Naw, that was an honest mistake… I thought, ‘It’s the mortal plane, how fucking hot can it be’?”

You grimaced. “I’m sorry, my love, I would and maybe next week… no, it’s gotta be the week after because of ritual Saturday… then there’s…” you shook your head. “Autumn,” you shrugged, “so fucking busy.” You sunk at your desk.

“Ah, I know,” he sighed dramatically. The guy knew how to mope gorgeously. “I’ve missed you in my bed,” he pouted.

He’d be the death of you. “I have learnt that Sodo is very good for venting frustrations out on.”

“I have more than frustration for you, Sweetheart.”

“Oh, I’m sure you do,” you cracked a smile. 

He grinned right alongside you until it fell, “I didn’t see you at breakfast, ______, you’ve been eating, right?”

“Yeah,” you waved off.

Dark lids fluttered a blunt blink.

“I’m a big ghoul, Swiss.”

“Sometimes a fucking wonder about that,” he muttered and stole a chaste kiss, brushing the rough of his cheek against yours. “I’ll see you later, hm? Don’t stress about the sermon; yours are always the best.”

“Not biased at all?”

“No, it’s true, I fall asleep in the other ones or try to choke myself to death or…”

You chuckled; you’d seen him do that with his guitar strap. “You aren’t choking yourself for death, you fucking monster.”

“Ah, but you know the French, huh? La petite mort?”

You shook your head.

“Perhaps ask Rain,” he winked and sauntered away.

“I love you, Swiss,” you called.

“Right back at you, Sweetheart,” he responded.

You would ask Rain about ‘La petite mort’, passing him in the hallway. The question left him stammering and blushing hard. Ah, Swiss; ever sewing little seeds of chaos in his wake.

***

“Sweetheart?”

You jolted awake from your desk, “Fuck! Papa, sorry… is it time for the ritual? I’ve… I’ve got most of it done—I just need to… to… Ah, Swiss…” your shoulders relaxed. The dread-head ghoul stood in your office with a ceramic bowl in his hand. You peered out the window behind you and rubbed the drool from your face. It was dark; last you checked, it had been five, the day had left you behind, and it was then eight forty. You had to have a desk-shaped imprint on your face. You groaned. You still had a day before the sermon. “Thanks for waking me, hun—was there something you needed?” you blinked at your writing, trying to make sense of the papers on your desks again.

“You weren’t at dinner, ______,” his tone was something you’d never heard from him. Low, on the edge of dangerous. “I haven’t seen you in the dining hall for the past week and a half.”

“I’ve just been busy; I grab from the kitchen… usually… sorry I haven’t been about to see you much, my love.”

“When was the last time you ate?” His voice, again, was dark. 

A sudden chill ran up your arms. “Uh.. we’re ghouls, so it’s not a big deal…”

“_______,” he warned.

 “Yesterday, what’s gotten into you, Swiss?”

Dark eyes narrowed. He wasn’t grinning. He stepped closer and shifted the papers from your desk with a swift sweep of his arm. 

“What the fuck? Swiss,” you growled, standing. 

“Sit.” He snarled in a way that tore through you, placing the bowl where your papers had been.

“Swiss…” You didn’t sit. You stood back, ready to collect your papers from the ground.

The other ghoul was quicker. He shoved you back down in your chair. You hadn’t seen him move like that since the last time the clergy went to holy war years ago. “Eat,” he commanded.

“What the fuck, Swiss?” you hissed up at him.

“I’m not playing here, Sweetheart.”

“And you think I am?” You spat.

“Your research isn’t going anywhere; you can get on your knees and pick them up after. For now, eat.”

Your nose wrinkled in a snarl, but you couldn’t deny you were hungry. The bowl was filled with a Mountain’s worth of pasta. The noodles looked handmade. He’d made it for you. “Fine,” you muttered. “You don’t have to be a dick about it.”

“Evidently I do,” he growled, perched on your desk to watch you.

You studied Swiss for a while; you hadn’t known him to be so dominant. You had no idea what had gotten into him. You supposed you should eat anyway. You approached the food with the fork and messily ate some—ghouls were not known for their table manners. Hell left you with little to no etiquette, as etiquette was for the privileged, minor demons gorged on what they could fucking get. You moaned around a mouthful of pasta. Swiss was getting good with his cooking.

“I know it’s fucking good,” he growled from your side, sitting taller and looking down on you from your desk.

You were suddenly self-conscious about your eating, self-conscious in a way no ghoul generally was. Swiss was watching you. Watching the sauce dribble your chin. Eyes devouring how much you could fit in your mouth and the way you swallowed what he had made for you.

“Uh-Swiss, hun.”

“No speaking, let me enjoy this.”

What the fuck was happening? Was he getting off on you enjoying the food he’d made for you? You gave him an incredulous look.

“I like filling your belly in any way I can, _____,” his voice was gravel, and he was dead serious.

You couldn’t look at him and couldn’t seem to stop eating either. For one, the pasta had the perfect bouncy texture, and the sauce had to be made from scratch. And secondly, your hunger crashed in on you all at once—you had forgotten what it was to be hungry for a moment. Much to Swiss’s approval, you cleaned the bowl.

“Good bean for finishing, ______.”

“I’m sorry, what the fuck?” You scoffed. 

“Don’t pretend me treating you like this doesn’t make you wet, Sweetheart, we’re ghouls—I can smell it on you.”

You frowned. Just as you had forgotten to hunger, you had forgotten to want. Ghouls could barely keep their hands off each other and the clergy, and it had been… at least a month since you had anyone. Oh, shit, he wasn’t wrong. “You’re enjoying this a little too much.”

“Sweetheart…” Swiss began, stepping from the table and gently placing the empty plate on the floorboards and out of his warpath. “You’ve been away from my bed for too long, and you haven’t been looking after yourself—I’m afraid I will have to punish you.”

You scanned over the trickster’s face, and you couldn’t find a joke there. You swallowed. “Swiss?”

“On the desk, facing me. Now.”

[demigod-of-the-agni]

FF7 REBIRTH SPOILERS ft. Some of my thoughts on the Golden Saucer Dates >:))))))

I will proclaim which one is my favourite

warning: i hate dates. therefore all my opinions on the following, and my final verdict, are correct. good day.

Alone

Cloud's lonely gold saucer outing, when he comes across Jessie's picture and he tells her, "Hey, still waiting for that pizza" with the most saddest eyes ever.... be still my weeping heart

Also I love how he acknowledges that the skywheel is a couple's thing, then proceeds to board it anyway 💀 it'd be nice to see the whole thing by yourself though (<- i am an introvert what more can i say)

Tifa

Tifa's little spiel about wanting to make friends always hits me like a tonne of bricks, everything she says is FUEL TO MY STUPID AUs... WOMAN <33333

When they Jessie's picture and Tifa talks about Jessie saved her.... oh... oh my heart. i cannot take this anymore

WHEN THE FIREWORKS GO OFF AND THE COLOURS OF THEIR EYES BRIGHTEN,,, AND THEN HUG JUMPSCARE,,,, AND THEN KISS !!!!!!!! oughhh,,,, it's so good,,,,,,, everything is so perfect about the scene they are just. everything

Aerith

NAHHH THE DISRESPECT MY MAN HAD BY SITTING OPPOSITE TO MY GIRL.... HOW RUDE. Aerith deserved to spin the carriage around until Cloud spits out all the mako in him

RAGH when the laser show had them crashing into each other and they just sit down defeated next to each other.... it was so funny,,,, task failed successfully

WHEN CLOUD REACHED OVER TO HOLD HIS HAND IN AERITH'S.... THAT MAKES THE ENDING HIT SO MUCH HARDER. NO ONE TOUCH ME EVER AGAIN

Yuffie

In my mind Yuffie seems like she's 12 (i know she's 16 or so do NOT come at me) so the date is really just Cloud babysitting her and honestly it went just as I expected: adorably :''3 Yuffie speaking for the both of them, so real of her

"I swear Cloud, it's like you're destined to be surrounded by smoking hot chicks" [strikes a pose] and Cloud laughing like yeah, you're a little silly Yuffie

GIRL WAS DOING JUMPING JACKS WHILE WAITING FOR CLOUD TO HAND OVER THE SKYWHEEL TICKETS AJSHSHSL

WHEN SHE STARTS TALKING ABOUT ZACK... AND THEN SHE CATCHES CLOUD LAUGHING AT HER LATER AND SHE SIH-SIH-HAH'S HIM.... AND HE PLAYS ALONG TOO.... be still my screaming heart,,, the boy is embodying Zack in more ways than one

Barret

"Well, well, I wake baby from his nap?" if this were said to me I would immediately leave and mess up Barret's bed. let's see who gets better sleep after that

Anyways I'm forever in love with how, between the two of them, money jokes are their form of love. like that gets to me you know

BARRET'S "IN-KWEH-DIBLE" WILL FOREVER BE SEARED INTO MY BRAIN BY THE WAY. HE SOUNDS SO DELIGHTED AT SAYING THAT. I'M CHERISH IT FOREVER

Red XIII

"I already have the tickets, but look at me... there's no way I'm getting in by myself" dude look at you HOW DID YOU GET THE TICKETS

Red and Cloud are just having a guy's night, it's just so lit, I love it so much they are just good bros and no I'm not tearing up :''3

The two shaking hands is also so incredibly touching to me... they are just little guys!!! and then the "They ARE soft!" from Cloud,,, perfect timing my guy !!!!

Cait, Vincent, and Cid

ALL THREE OF THEM STANDING OUTSIDE THE DOOR HAD ME CACKLING BECAUSE. THE IMPLICATIONS OF HOW ALL THREE OF THEM DECIDED TO RECRUIT CLOUD INTO THEIR GUY'S NIGHT??? well maybe not all three, Vincent being Vincent was probably coerced into it, and Cid just wanted to tag along. The culprit of this outing was-

Vincent falling asleep is incredibly in character and relatable. return this man to his coffin. two decades of sleeping is not enough.

Cait pulling his hairs out is fucking sending me, poor lad

AND NOW... THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.... WHICH DATE WAS BEST???

Vincent, Cait and Cid. boys' night. it's an automatic win

jk but I loved Clerith's date the most... maybe it is because I follow tragedy and it follows me, but while the Clofi date is Canon, the Clerith date is so tender, and it really signals to me the could-have-been's. and i love the could-have-been's ykyk

okay bye

[macaron-n-cheese]

What's Hornblower + what's it about? It looks interesting

Special interest mentioned ong!

Ok! So Hornblower is a miniseries and book series about the British navy from the French Revolution through the Napoleonic Wars (miniseries is only to the middle of the Napoleonic Wars) following the fictional character Horatio Hornblower! :33333 The original series is by C.S. Foster and is 11 books long! This time period is one that I'm not super into but these series is soooo good. I've always had a little interest in naval history so I find it very fun!

All the characters are very likable and there is never a dull moment. I can't exactly put my finger on why, but it is a bit like TURN but on the high seas and the characters are more likable. It is also a bit like Pirates of the Caribbean but no magic and no cringe (hooray!), the series is good all the way through! If you like James Norrington from PotC then you will like Hornblower. However, a lot of characters die which is sad, don't get attached. There are a lot of jokes making fun of France which is kinda silly.

I never have seriously kinned a character until now: The protagonist Horatio Hornblower is spectacular. He is a little silly guy little blorbo. He gets into shenanigans (war). The shenanigans seriously make me giggle sometimes. OH OH and he is good at playing the card game whist. :) and he's a little autistic (and we love that), every jokes goes over his head...autism creature incarnate!

I'm not integrated into the fandom quite yet but there is a little one here on Tumblr! I have some posted with the Hornblower tag, at least. Here is a link to the series on Internet Archive is anyone is interested in watching it! :)

This ask made my day thank you. Woah this post is kinda long.

[rysko]

@call-sign-shark You asked about Juliusz's love life but the ask freaking evaporated when i tried to edit it (ily tumblr) so i'm tagging ya. Thanks for the ask <33333

ANYWAYS, MY BOY JULIUSZ'S LOVE LIFE, AW MAN *cracks knuckles*

So, growing up as a gay boy in these times wasn't all dandy, but living in one of the bigger cities in XX century Poland (Kraków) made dating/hookups/situationships just a tad easier. Buuuuuuuuuuuut-

Well, let's just say teenage/ young adult Julek wasn't getting treated the best when it comes to uh, heart matters. He was an absolute hopeless romantic and would often be lead on or just taken advantage of. He was a lovesick nerd and he had quite the luck to run into either assholes or just people that weren't looking for the same things he did. That continued on and on until-

This. man. right. here.

Now, i won't tell TOO much about my Austrian "good" """""friend"""""" Philipp (he'll be mentioned in some later chapters of KoS and y'all will get all the tea of what happened). But let's just say he was kind of the last straw Juliusz had at letting people in romantically and he hasn't done so since the war ended. Julek went from a nerdy, but jolly and talkative guy to someone that tends to try and hide his character.

Ever since Juliusz has done everything but get over that dude. Mostly trying to distract himself with 1. law school 2. work 3. MOVING TO A DIFFERENT COUNTRY 4. more work (now with gangs, yay Alfie!) 5. w o r k (now with the Shelby's) aaaaaaaand now we're at the present. He got more and more closed off, his only connections being either entirely platonic (Arthur you're a saint) or just loose hookups.

So yea, not that fun. But who knows, maybe a "certain" """""stranger"""""" with a taste for *checks notes* fedoras, toothpicks and bad fingerpaintings can change that! :D

[uriekukistan]

Omg u cooked with ch 5!! Megumi laying his head on Yuuji’s shoulder and falling asleep?? The heart in the contact name??? Shoot me rn. Your fic makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and smiling like an idiot and kicking my feet giggling. God did I feel Megumi’s frustration in the beginning thoughhh.. poor guy. But congratulations to him for sugar plum Prince! And wishing Maki some good luck with snow bc ehrm… (definitely not been personally victimised by that fake snow 🥲). I am so intrigued by Megumi’s Prince Siegfried portrayal though… I keep thinking of the act 3 black swan pas de deux, would he be a more sceptical Siegfried over an oblivious happy one? I wish I could see it irl 😭 also you’ve rlly tempted me to book tickets for Swan lake, they’ve got Vadim Mutagirov with Fumi Kaneko in two weeks ahhh!! Also did you have a specific video in mind for the one Yuuji sent to Megumi? I really loved the last video you linked. I don’t usually look at boy groups so I didn’t know abt him before but omg Dino is sooooo goood?? And apologies ahead bc idk anythign about hip hop but like he’s so light yet clean with his movements?? Like he moves so easy, how??

Looking forward to next chapter!!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️

apologies in advance, but im abt to ramble so much thank you for the lovely response <33333

STOP ACTUALLY I WOULD DIE TO SEE VADIM MUNTAGIROV AND FUMI KANEKO IN SWAN LAKE IN PERSON ????? TWO MY FAV DANCERS FROM ROYAL BALLET IN MY FAV BALLET ????? U SHOULD TOTALLY GO IF U CAN OMG PLS LIVE IT FOR ME i loveee fumi kaneko her port de bras are always so beautiful and elegant and expressive, and she was amazing as aurora too

anyway excuse me for fangirling jlgsfdh thank you so much!!! im so glad you've been enjoying so far :)))) and yes everyone pray for maki, snow AND flowers is a crazy hard combo but she's crazy good so she's got this down (this made me realize i've never done snow, i've almost always done arabian until recently i've been drosselmeyer which has been so fun????). i definitely see megumi as a more skeptical siegfried in the black swan pas. actually it comes up more later, but he doesn't really do well with the lovesick & happy type vibe lmao (we saw it coming tbh), so a skeptical and overall more melancholy siegfried suits him well.

the choreo i was thinking of in this chapter was this bury a friend choreo by woomin jang and woonha. i absolutely love woonha like she fuses so many elements of contemporary dance with hip hop (such as here), and overall has such unique choreos. like this one, i had genuinely never seen anything like it before, and still havent seen anything like it, or at least not as well executed. so i think she'd be a good inspiration for megumi, just to see how many directions hip hop can go beyond the sort of singular idea that he has.

and omg yes i lovveeee dino he's amazing. honestly im not super into kpop anymore but i'll always have major respect for him (and the rest of seventeen's dance line, actually started in hip hop bc of them). he's really mastered that balance between grounded and being light, crazy strength, crazy control....yeah

okay i'll stop now 😭 thank you again so much fr tho :D