#us all trying to b quiet while rolling but actively jaw-to-flooring it

[thysilus]

we're making litrly th most insane media iv ever seen i lov my job

[lovelybarnes]

scars- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader warnings: heavy mentions of insecurity, focus on scars, injuries, blood, wounds, canon violence about: requested! (PK9) kissing scars, bruises, scratches, etc. + (PF26) person a wiping person b’s tears away a/n: thank you so much for requesting!! i hope this is what you wanted and that you liked it!!

[ @tylard-blog1 ]

you’re aware that everyone on the team has them; natasha romanoff, even steve rogers, with his unbreakable milk skin, and bruce banner, with the green that tinges the hue of his temples when a scar is made. they’re reminders of what you do, some symbols of the lives that you’ve saved-- and others the lives that you’ve taken.

yes, everyone has them, but that doesn’t make you like the ones that litter your own body very much. nor does it stop you from looking away from them when you catch a glimpse of the scars that peek out of the clothing you specifically choose to hide them away from the curious eyes of the public. it doesn’t stop the frustrated tears that ebb in your eyes when you run the tips of your fingers over the raised tissue.

sometimes you realize how unfair it is of you to hate the scars that splay on your collarbone, and the ones that run across your hips and thighs, when you press your lips against the ones on bucky’s shoulder, pleading for him to believe you when you say you think he’s beautiful. the thought lingers when you playfully roll your eyes at natasha on the rare moment when she narrows her eyes at the healed bullet wound that sits above her hip, genuine words assuring her she looks great no matter what slipping out of the same mouth that utters ugly words at the mirror. you ignore it even as it guilts you when you touch the scars on bruce’s arms with featherlight fingers, pressing that they don’t make him a monster, or any of the hideous words with which he describes himself.

you try to tell yourself the reassurances apply to you, too, because they’re true-- the scars don’t diminish the beauty of your smile, or the glow that you carry, and they shouldn’t hinder the upwards pull of your lips when you catch a glimpse of them in the mirror-- but even as you try to convince yourself of that, your eyes always flit away, hand positioning itself in front of the scars as you examine the way you’d love yourself without them.

you were never aware of the blue eyes that caught your moments of dislike for yourself, missing the bead of worry that embedded itself in the cerulean of bucky’s irises.

-

it was on a particularly bad day of yours that one of your relatively smaller missions was scheduled. listed underneath your name was bucky’s, although he was only on there because he had demanded you never to go on a mission to an active hydra base alone, even though he knew you could handle it; you didn’t mind, always enjoying the quiet moments you got on the quinjet with bucky-- and the pilot, usually clint or steve, who bit their tongue, unlike sam or tony.

it would’ve been fine on any other day, but your day hadn’t started on the best note. the scars underneath your clothing seemed to burn every time you moved in the way they had when you first received them. you had stared at them for far too long, wishing you had the super-healing of the asgardian gods or the super soldiers you surrounded yourself with, who would never get permanent scars from the things you had experienced. they felt especially ugly sitting on your skin, making you want to lay in bed all day, pretending they didn’t exist.

your mission cut off your day of wallowing in your bed, forcing you to shove on your suit and sit in the quinjet to arrive at the mission you could’ve easily handled by yourself had it been another day and you had felt any other way.

you were from the same black widow program natasha was from; you were probably impossibly better, more ruthless and uncaring because from the moment you were born, you had nothing to lose, no family to protect, no memories of a childhood--even a fake one-- to hang onto. your movements were always calculated and perfect, like they had been forced to be, and your emotions were never supposed to cloud your anything-- they never did, except for when you had the days that knocked you off your feet, just like these.

nevertheless, you were distracted in the base with bucky, although you shouldn’t have been, considering the delicate information you were handling. you flawlessly did the routine of knocking guards unconscious, ignoring the way a harsh heat flashed in your hip when bucky’s hand touched the place where one of your more brutal scars was. it felt nearly as if he could feel it under his fingers, even though it was a ridiculous thought considering the material of your tac suit.

it was still going relatively fine; you had recovered the usb file you had been assigned to secure, and most of the guards were dead, fallen in a trail that created a clear pathway for bucky to find you, usb drive clutched tightly in your hand as you bled out on the floor, a knife thrown next to the pool of blood quickly forming underneath you and the person who had done it lying dead a few feet away. your gun was in your other hand, one of its bullets embedded in the hydra agents’ chest. bucky could hear the strangled gurgles of breathing coming from the agent, but he paid no attention to him as he rushed to your side, eyebrows furrowing as his hands reached the stab wound. you hissed sharply when you felt the cold of his vibranium fingers meet the burning hot of the injury, pressing down hard as lightly as he could while he mumbled something into the comms you never used. you were suddenly gathered into his arms, cringing when you heard a scream you didn’t realize was yours until you felt bucky’s lips moving in reassuring sentences next to your ear, a string of apologies falling from his lips. you never let go of the drive, desperate to keep hold of something that connected you to the real world, not wanting to focus on your other alternative: it was irrelevant when compared to everything else, but through the blinding red of pain, the only thing you could focus on was obsessing over the fact that a new scar would inevitably heal in place of the stab wound-- one you knew you would survive because you’d survived a hell of a lot worse than it, but the next ugly thing to form in your abdomen might just make you never want to see yourself again.

warm tears rolled down your cheeks as bucky carried you back into the quinjet, one of your hands tiredly fisted at bucky’s shirt, trying your best to stay awake but ultimately failing from the loss of blood and will.

-

it’s stupid. you’re aware, but your first thought when you open your eyes again is how there is yet another scar that will form on your abdomen, making tears rush to your eyes in frustration because it was your fault it was there anyways. had you just paid attention-- just not concentrated so on the wretched things, a new one would not be forming right now. the collection of ugly tissue that littered your skin was already too large.

the frustration you felt overpowered the painful numbness that settled over the wound in your abdomen, making dried tears spring back to life and dribble down your apple cheeks, alerting your boyfriend of your state. “doll? what’s wrong?” he asks, and at the sign he’s there, listening to your whimpers and audible disdain, the dam breaks loose, your hands reaching up to your face and tugging at the gash.

bucky’s up on his feet, tender hands circling around your wrists to pull them back down, “y/n, what’s wrong, doll?” he repeats, gentle blue eyes scanning your tear-streaked face. you squeeze your eyes shut, another salty trail making its way onto the bow of your lips. bucky’s warm fingers wipe away the wetness, his fingertips light.

“baby, please tell me what hurts,” he begs, his vibranium hand making its way into yours. you shake your head, squeezing his cold fingers. “i hate them,” you mumble, feeling his palm cupping your jaw, “i hate them so much.”

“hate what, honey?” he questions gently, brows furrowing further when he sees your hand curling into a loose fist above the place where his hands have lovingly settled: right on your scars. “i’m sorry,” you cry quietly, nose scrunching up when his fingers trace over the tissue he’s memorized the location of, “i hate them. they’re ugly and i hate them.”

“these?” bucky inquires, surprised. he lifts your shirt-- really, his-- to see the object of your tears, catching when you shut your eyes again and more tears drip off your jaw.

“bucky, no--”

bucky looks up at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “y/n…” he starts sadly, pulling away to get you to look at him. “they’re not... “ his eyes flick down to one of the scars, and he taps on it gently, “d’you remember this one? it was a couple years ago when i barely joined the team.” you can feel a lump growing in your throat, perfectly able to recall where you got it.

“you barely knew me back then, but you did know i was a super soldier, and you jumped in front of that bullet anyways. god, i knew i had to ask you out before someone knocked sense into anyone else.”

you sniffle, biting your lip, “this one,” he touches another one, “you saved nat and a little girl from a madman. her parents were so thankful they stayed with you until you woke up to thank you.” his finger wipes away another tear, “she invited me to her birthday party this year,” you snivel, and bucky smiles.

“these are not ugly-- you are not ugly, i promise.” he tells you. “i love you, every part of you--” his head suddenly ducks down, and you can feel his lips softly pressing against the scars, careful to avoid your newly forming one. your hand reaches his jaw, running your nail along his stubble as more thankful tears slip from your eyes. “i love you,” he repeats, kissing your lips.

“thank you,” you whisper against his lips, sniffling as you feel the burn on the scars slowly begin to disappear with the coolness of bucky’s vibranium fingertips.

[meltwonu]

| 𝔲𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔩 𝔦 𝔪𝔢𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 |     [CHAPTER 3]

pairing; fratboy!wonwoo x reader

this chapter’s notes; fratboy!wonwoo, possessive!dom!wonwoo, daddy!kink, sex toys, dirty talk, squirting, fingering, oral(fem receiving), sexy aftercare! YALL WHAT A WEEK EH? 🥴 I’m exhausted and about to sleep thru the entire weekend(in actuality☠️) fkjhsdh Will try to answer inbox msgs if I’m not too tired(if I am, def sunday!)💕💕💕 and maybe thirst posts in between sleep if I can! 😗 Exciting!! I’m trying to be a bit more active, at least on the weekends lol baby steps!!😭💕 Anyway, I hope y’all have a lovely weekend~ Enjoy ch 3! I love u!! 💕

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - x - x

“Is this… It?”

Wonwoo laughs; the smell of alcohol on his lips when he leans towards you. “No, I just thought we’d have a little fun before I gave you your real present later, is all.”

The party had ‘started’ at least an hour ago and Wonwoo, despite his dislike of parties, was already three drinks in by the time you were knocking on the front door of the loud frat house. He’d dragged you to the kitchen to make you a drink while you chatted with others for a bit before he was tugging you up the stairs and into his room.

“Unless you don’t wanna play, ‘cause that’s okay too.”

He twirls the vibrating panties around his index finger - head tilted slightly in your direction. You roll your eyes in return, reaching for the fabric as you lean in closer to his warmth. “Me? Not wanting to play? Do you even know me?” You quip back, already taking the fabric from between his fingertips as you reach under your skirt to start removing your panties to replace them with the ones Wonwoo had given you.

Biting his lip, he watches as you slowly slide your panties down your legs. “I’m trying to get to know you.” He mumbles - more to himself than to you but the slight giggle he hears from you lets him know that you heard him perfectly clear.

“I know. Although, let’s be real, we haven’t done much talking, huh?”

Wonwoo’s lips purse into an embarrassed smile; cheeks a pale pink when you finish changing and toss him your old panties.

“We can go on a date? Tomorrow? Sunday?” He offers - taking the fabric and putting it in his pants pocket for keeps.

Nodding, you reach for his hand, squeezing it before linking your fingers with his.

“Let’s figure it out when you’re not already 3 drinks in, hmm?”

You catch up and surpass Wonwoo’s level of drunkenness in no time; taking shots with Soonyoung before Wonwoo can finally catch you.

“H-hey!” The room spins as Wonwoo grabs your arm and you find yourself in the familiar empty kitchen as your eyes try to adjust to the brightness. “I was, hic, gonna drink another s-shot!”

“I know, but you need water and I’ve been trying to get you to drink some for the last 25 minutes.”

“Daddy, why’re you so meaaaaan…”

Wonwoo pauses, fingers frozen on the bottle cap before he turns to you. He hands you the bottle silently before reaching for his phone - eyes on you as you start to down the contents.

It only takes a few seconds before the vibrations start and you’re taken by surprise as you sputter and spill water all over the countertop and floor.

“Good girls know when to behave. And you’re not doing so well right now, sweetheart.”

Your thighs clamp together, fingertips almost crushing the plastic bottle as the vibrations send thrums of arousal pouring over your body in an instant. “Ah, I--hic, wh--what, but--but I…” The alcohol makes your body much more sensitive and your head feels hazy and overwhelmed with the toy pressed firmly against your clit. “Buh--but I just wanted to d-drink…”

“And I wanted you to drink some water and you ran to take shots, princess.”

Pouting, you shakily place the half empty bottle down onto the counter before you walk up to Wonwoo. You wrap your arms around his waist, quiet moans rolling off your lips as you stare up at his intoxicated expression. “Well, I was trying to until you decided to make me spill it...”

Wonwoo’s soft laughter reverberates in your chest and he’s quick to turn off the toy as you slump against him.

“Can we go back up to your room now, daddy?” Your voice is slightly slurred and muffled against his shirt; eyes fluttering shut as you inhale his addicting scent.

“Now where’d all the fun be in that, princess?”

Throughout the night, Wonwoo sporadically turns the toy on - making you jolt and latch onto the nearest person or object as your legs threaten to give out when he doesn’t always start off with the lowest setting.

“Whoa, you okay?” Mingyu asks, brows furrowed when your vice-like grip on his arm only tightens as Wonwoo sets the vibration speed higher. “You look like you’re gonna be sick. You might wanna slow down on those drinks.” Minghao nods in agreement, stepping closer to you to place a hand against your warm forehead.

“She’s kinda warm too. Must be all the alcohol.”

The pair nod to each other, convincing themselves it was all the drinks as Wonwoo shoots you a cocky smirk. You shift your weight to your left leg, making the toy sit perfectly against your clit in the process. The wetness in your panties was already unbearable and it was only getting worse.

“Fu--fuck… I’m okay, just---um, I think I need to go to the restroom.” You excuse yourself just as Wonwoo turns the toy off again and you pry your sweaty palm off of Mingyu’s arm before making a beeline for the restroom down the hall. Naturally, there’s a small line to get in and despite the fact you don’t really need to go, you figure splashing some water on your face would help you a little.

“My, my, who do we have here?”

It’s a voice you don’t recognize and when you lift your head to face the person in front of you, it’s a male you don’t know either. “Um… Can I… Help you?” You ask meekly. He’s very obviously inebriated, eyes unfocused as he gives you a once over before licking his lips.

“D’you wanna go in together? You can help me in there if you’d like.”

You can only grimace - fully ready to give him a piece of your mind when an arm slings around your shoulder and you feel yourself being tucked protectively into Wonwoo’s side.

“Sorry, but she’s going to be helping me right now, won’t you, princess?”

The tenseness in Wonwoo’s jaw is ever present even when he’s situated between your trembling thighs - the tip of his tongue running through your soaked folds before he slightly pulls away.

“Wanted to play with you downstairs a little longer but, ah, well… Isn’t this more fun, princess?”

“A-ah, will they b-be mad you’re, mmh, ditching your own p-party though…?” Wonwoo grins, eyes peering up at your slightly unfocused stare and your swollen lips.

“I don’t even think they noticed I was gone, sweetheart.”

Wonwoo leans in, dragging his tongue from your clit to your entrance as slowly as possible as you whine and start to ease your fingertips into his hair. “Oh, d-daddy…” You tug slightly, pulling him closer towards you as you start to grind against his waiting tongue.

“Oh, god, it feels s-so good… Been w-waiting for you to, ah, t-touch me all night…” He moves slow, circling your clit with his tongue before sucking the nub into his mouth. Garbled noises spill from your lips - mixing in with soft pleas for him to do more.

But despite Wonwoo’s original annoyance of someone else trying to hit on you, that being the reason he even decided to leave the party, he finds it all melting away the second you start moaning his name in pleasure.

He dips his tongue into your entrance, collecting the wetness on it as he moans against your skin at how sweet you taste. It sends shivers up your spine - toes curling and hips bucking up towards his mouth as you chase the feeling. “Wonwoo… D-daddy, more… Ah, please, w-wanna feel your f-fingers too…”

“Fucked your pretty ‘lil cunt so good yesterday and you’re still so needy, huh, princess?” He reaches his hand in between your legs, popping his fingers into his wet mouth before running them through your folds.

“So greedy. Always want your cunt stuffed full of me, hmm? Whether it’s my cock or my fingers. Even just having my tongue on you is enough to get you to cum.” Once he deems his fingers wet enough, he positions his index and middle finger at your entrance before he starts to slowly sink them both inside of you. “Pretty ‘lil cunt is always ready to take my cock, isn’t it?”

You’re so wet that his fingers slide in easily; already curling into your g-spot as you cry loudly into the air. “O-oh, fuck! Daddy, please…!” Letting go of Wonwoo’s hair, you opt to tangle your fingers into his bed sheets - simultaneously spreading your quivering legs further apart when he starts to thrust his fingers into you at a moderate pace.

“Please? Please what, sweetheart? Use your words.”

Wonwoo scissors his fingers, stretching your pussy open as you throw your head back against his pillows. “Ngh, want y-you to fuck me, ah, d-daddy… Wanna feel your cock i-inside…” He smiles, leaning back in to pepper kisses on your inner thighs before you feel his tongue on your clit again.

He flicks the nub with the tip of his tongue at the same time he curls his fingers into your g-spot, sending your overly sensitive body hurtling towards an orgasm as you whine and mewl above him.

“D-daddy… I c-can’t, I--ah!”

Your walls clamp down hard onto his fingers; entire body trembling as you cum on his fingers and his tongue. And he works you through it - curling and wiggling his fingers inside your pussy to milk your orgasm.

“Mm, now you’re even more wet, princess~ Ready to take my cock?” Your head is buzzing, fingertips loosening their grip on the bed sheets when he slowly starts to pull his fingers from inside of you. “Mmhmm… Ah, hurry d-daddy… fuh--feels so e-empty…”

Wonwoo slowly sits up from between your legs; popping the wet digits into his mouth to lick off your wetness.

“So insatiable.”

You realize when Wonwoo positions his cock at your entrance that this is truly the first time you get to see his naked body since he’d come back.

“Daddy, I--”

The words get caught in your throat as he swiftly bottoms out in a singular thrust; his abs tightening and showing off his toned muscles as you feel yourself start to drool over his physique.

You tell yourself to ask him for pictures later, if you can remember.

The oversensitivity in your body makes you whimper and you’re quick to wrap your legs around his waist when he starts a moderately quick pace.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty, sweetheart.” Admittedly, Wonwoo knows he won’t be able to hold out for very long himself - already too aroused to stave off his orgasm for much longer with your slick walls sucking his cock in deeper. “And you’re all mine, right?”

You nod back frantically, bleary eyes peering up at Wonwoo’s own blown out pupils. “Ngh, y-yes, fuck! I’m, hah, y-yours… God, I don’t wan’t a-anyone, ah, else, daddy…”

Your words go straight to his cock as he growls, “That’s right. Only daddy gives you what you want, right, princess? Only my cock satisfies you the way you want - filling you up to the brim and keeping you full, just how you like it.”

“Mmh, oh g-god, Wonwoo…” Whines pour from your mouth as you dig your heels into his lower back to press him closer into you. 

His cock grazes against your cervix as you mewl; back arching off the bed with how deep he was fucking you.

He uses a free hand to reach down to your clit, rubbing the swollen, sensitive nub between his fingertips as you immediately latch a shaky hand onto his forearm. “P-please, oh, mmh!”

Wonwoo smirks, watching as your eyes cross from the immense pleasure pouring over your body. “C’mon, princess. Wanna feel you cumming on my cock again before I fill this filthy ‘lil cunt of yours with cum.”

You’re reduced to rushed, broken cries of his name as the pressure builds inside your body quickly; only a loud gasp falling from your lips as the tension snaps for a second time, only this time, much stronger than the first.

“Fuck, that’s right, cum for me, baby.”

He works you through your orgasm, fucking you harder as you squirt all over his lower half and the bed sheets.

 Drool dribbles down your chin, thighs shaking uncontrollably when Wonwoo pulls all the way out to tap the head of his cock against your sensitive clit - making your body jolt with each slap before he’s quickly sheathing his throbbing cock back inside your tight cunt.

“God, you’re so tight and wet, princess. Bet you feel so fuckin’ good, huh?” Wonwoo licks his lips, “Gonna cum inside your pretty ‘lil cunt now, okay?”

You nod, lips parted in quiet moans when you feel his thick cock throbbing between your walls. “H-hurry, give it to me, d-daddy… Wanna feel y-you, ah, cumming inside my p-pussy…”

He only groans in return, letting the pleasure wash over him as his orgasm starts to crest. 

This time, you work him through it - clenching around his cock as he continues to thrust into you. “Mmh... suh--so good...” You slur out; head fuzzy as you bathe in the post orgasmic haze. 

And Wonwoo fares no better - fingertips digging into your skin as he rides out his high. 

“Oh... fuck.” 

When you come to, it doesn’t even fully process to you what’d happened.

“Sweetheart? Princess? Baby?” 

Wonwoo’s voice sounds muffled as you try to sit up, but he’s quick to slow you down as he sighs. “Ah, not--not so fast. You just passed out, I was... really scared for a second there, sweetheart.” He leans in close, checking your eyes before gently stroking your cheek. “Are you okay? Feeling faint? Does your head hurt? Or any part of you, really.” 

“I--I don’t even remember that happening... Just, you were cumming and then everything went... dark.” You shake the tension from your body - already noting that you were re-dressed in your panties and one of Wonwoo’s big shirts. “I... Well, I’m not drunk anymore?” 

He shakes his head as you laugh airily; trying to ease his nerves. “Baby, are you sure you’re okay?” The ‘baby’ makes your heart jump as you mumble a shy ‘mmhmm’ back. 

“Okay, now you really need to drink some water. I got you cleaned up while you were out and put you in some warm clothes. I’ll grab you something to eat from downstairs in a bit, I’m sure there’s boxes of pizza still down there.” Wonwoo grabs a water bottle from the nightstand, handing it to you as he sits by your side. “I haven’t even given you your actual gift and you already passed out once for the night.” 

Gently slapping his arm, you down half the water bottle before you pass it back to him. 

“Can I still have it or will it also make me pass out again?” 

This time, the two of you share a laugh as he gets up from the bed and walks over to his dresser to fetch a small box. “I mean, I guess it depends on how you see it?” 

He passes you the small box - slightly nervous when you start to inspect it. 

“You’re not trying to pull a Van Gogh moment with a cut off piece of ear or something are you?” Wonwoo laughs; loud and exaggerated. 

“Sadly not. But open it, I think you’ll like it.” 

You start opening the small box, pulling away the layers of printed tissue paper to reveal a set of two keys. “Keys?” 

“Mmhmm.” 

“To... The library?” 

Wonwoo snorts, doubling over in laughter as he slaps his leg. “N-no... A key for the frat house and a key... for my bedroom. So you can have access here whenever you want. Or need, really.” 

You’re taken by surprise as you dangle the keys in front of your face; cheeks warming up at the fact Wonwoo essentially gave you keys to his private space. “I--Wow, I--Wonwoo... This, wow... I don’t know what to say.” 

“Good or bad?” 

“G-good! Really really good but just... are you sure?” 

He nods back - shy eyes avoiding the way you stare at him. 

“I--I want to trust you more and I want you to trust me too. You don’t have to give me keys to your place or anything at all. I just want you to know that you have a place here if you want to study or just chill. I don’t have a big work load this semester so I’m in here a lot anyway. And let’s be real, we can’t alway mess around in the library, right?”

 He chuckles gently under his breath, “But we can play all we want in here.” 

You nod, mentally contemplating whether or not to do the same. 

I’ll think about it later, you tell yourself.

“What if wanna just sleep here with you, hmm? Nothin’ sexy.” You ask, twirling the keys around your finger. 

“You can do that. I’d like that actually. Why don’t we do that tonight, huh, baby? Stay the night and then we can go out for breakfast in the morning.”

Biting your lip, you place the keys back into the box before setting it on the nightstand. “I’d like that too.” 

Wonwoo gets up from the bed, dusting off his sweats before readjusting his glasses. 

“For now, I think you need to eat some cold pizza from downstairs. I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay~”

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

The yard boy | JJ Maybank (part 3)

The sky was getting darker by every minute that passed. A storm was about to hit the island soon and, according to the local meteo, it was going to be a big one. But, the announcement of a storm didn't seem to bother JJ who was casually mowing Montgomery's lawn, unbothered by the darkening sky above him.

Inside the house, Flynn went downstairs to grab a snack from the kitchen and caught sight of a blond head in her yard. She frowned, surprised that he hadn't gone home yet. Weather changes fast on the island when there's a storm coming. One second the sky can be bright and clear and the next, it's dark and pouring.

Abandoning her search for a snack, she opened the back door, stepping on the cement tiles of the backyard.

''What are you still doing here? The storm's getting closer. It's gonna start pouring soon,'' she asked, shouting over the noise of the lawnmower, hoping JJ would hear her.

He looked up, but didn’t stop. ''I gotta finish before your father arrives,'' JJ responded in a monotonous tone.

They hadn't talked since the boat argument two weeks ago and JJ couldn't care less. He had no business with her. His job was to mow the lawn and take care of the Montgomerys' yard, not be friendly with their daughter. 

''If he were here, he'd tell you to go home, JJ. The storm-''

''Ten minutes and I'm done,'' he promised.

Flynn hesitated, her green eyes looking up at the angry colored sky. ‘’It's not safe to stay outside during a storm. You can get struck by lightning.''

JJ cocked an eyebrow. ''It hasn't started raining, has it?'' The brunette stayed quiet. ‘’Ten minutes and I’m out of here.''

.

A roar of thunder echoed through the large house and Flynn decided to go check on JJ, in case he was still outside. He said he would be done in ten minutes, but boys are bad at calculating and managing their time.

She slid the backdoor open, about to call out JJ’s name when she spotted him by the garden furniture, zipping up his backpack, getting ready to leave.

''No need to check on me. I just finished. I'm going home, now.''

Going home? Is he crazy? He most likely came here by foot which meant he’d have to walk back to the Cut.

Flynn shook her head. ''No. You can't go home in this storm. I just heard thunder.''

JJ scoffed. ''Look, it's nice of you to worry about me, but there's no need to. I'm a big boy, I’m not scared of a storm. See you next week,'' he said dryly. JJ slung his bag over his shoulder and just as he was about to leave, a bolt of lightning pierced the sky above the water, quickly followed by heavy rain.

The blond wasn't afraid of getting a little wet, it’s just rainwater, but Flynn wasn't going to let him jeopardize his life by walking home during a thunderstorm. She’d feel so guilty if something were to happen to him.

A loud peal of thunder echoed, making the brunette jump at the unexpected noise.

‘’Scared of thunder?’’ JJ teased, cocking an eyebrow.

Flynn rolled her eyes. ‘’I’m not. B-but we should get inside, though.’’

‘’We?’’ JJ repeated. He shook his head. ‘’No, no. I’m not coming in. My dad is waiting for me-’’

‘’If you think I’m gonna let you walk home during this weather, you may think again. You can go when the storm is over.''

.

Surprisingly, the Montgomerys weren't prepared for a thunderstorm at all. They didn't have any flashlights or any emergency items in their huge house. They must've assumed they won't need any of these items because they're Kooks, but thunderstorms and power cuts are common in the Outer Banks - regardless of how much money there's in your pocket.

Lucky for them, Flynn had a couple scented candles in her bedroom so they didn't have to be in the complete dark.

''Do they all stink like that?'' JJ asked, not a fanatic of the strong floral scent currently burning and filling the living room. ‘’If so, I’d rather sit in the dark.’’

''You don't like lavender? It’s relaxing.''

A smirk formed on JJ’s lips. ‘’I know better ways to relax.’’

Flynn gave him a look, her mind immediately going on the dirty side.

‘’I meant weed,’’ he clarified, seeing the look of disgust on her face. ‘’But, that can work too.’’ JJ reached out to grab his bag from the floor and pulled out a joint, raising it to his lips to light it when Flynn gasped, taking it from him. ''Hey!''

''Are you crazy? It'll smell through the whole house. My dad will furious when he returns.''

JJ rolled his eyes. What a party pooper. ''We can't ever have some fun with you, Kooks, uh?''

''We do fun stuff. We...we play games.''

''Games? Like Monopoly?'' He snickered. ''Sorry. I don’t do board games.’’

Flynn rolled her eyes, standing from the couch. ‘’I don't mean Monopoly, idiot. I mean a drinking game.''

At the mention of alcohol, the blond grinned. ''That I like!''

JJ watched as Flynn retrieved a liquor bottle from her father's cabinet, not really paying attention to what she chose, before returning to the couch with a set of two glasses. She handed one to JJ and sat down across him on the couch.

Turned out Flynn and him had different preferences of drinking games. While the brunette enjoyed a good old high school drama game in the Truth or Dare and Never Have I Ever genre, JJ would rather play beer pong. It demanded skills - and he liked to show off.

Although those types of drinking games weren’t JJ’s favorite - he found them childish and boring -, he still agreed to play. If it means drinking something else than cheap beer for once in his life, he’ll play any games. And, who said they can't spice things up a little?

‘’I’ll start. Never have I ever stolen from a store.’’

JJ took a sip, acting very casual about his confession. ‘’Not everyone can just whip out daddy’s black card whenever they want something.’’ Thunder roared outside, filling the silence as the Kook girl looked down, aware of her privilege. ‘’Never have I ever...lied to my parents.’’

Flynn rolled her eyes. ‘’You know, I’m not as innocent as you think. Level up with those questions.’’

‘’Okay, okay. Erm, never have I ever gone skinny dipping.’’

She didn’t drink, making JJ snicker. Of course she hadn't.

‘’Never have I ever sent a naughty pic.’’

JJ smiled smugly, taking a long sip. ‘’Never have I ever snuck out?’’

Flynn took a sip and JJ was impressed - but not too much. Maybe she was more rebellious than she let on.

''Never have I ever watched the garden boy from my bedroom window.'' Flynn took a sip, trying to contain her smile behind the glass, watching as JJ raised an eyebrow, processing her confession.

Did he hear that right?

Although he hadn’t noticed her staring from her bedroom window, the blond wasn't completely surprised. Flynn was always coincidently around whenever he was working on the yard, whether it was cutting grass, watering the garden or cleaning the boat. Sometimes, she was on the patio reading a book or simply tanning on the boat - like two weeks ago. They haven't had a lot of conversations, having stuck to complete silence since the boat argument, but words weren't always needed.

JJ would be a liar if he said he had never looked at her either, but he was also very conscious that if he'd get caught by Flynn's father, he'd be fired and that wasn't an option so he didn't test his chance with her.

‘’You know you’re supposed to ask things you haven’t done, right?’’

She shrugged, feeling confident, putting her half empty glass on the coffee table. ‘’We’re changing the rules for tonight.’’

JJ cocked an eyebrow. ‘’We are?’’

Flynn hummed. ''What are you gonna do about it, JJ?'' she asked in a soft, flirty tone.

''I can think of a few things...''

Testing the waters, Flynn scooted closer to JJ's side of the couch, her gray eyes meeting JJ's blue ones before slowly closing the space between them. It started slow, but quickly picked up in pace, both of them applying more pressure and will into the kiss.

The alcohol was long forgotten, having moved to much better activities. They didn't really have a plan, only time to waste, and this seemed like a great way to do so.

JJ smiled smugly into the kiss, feeling a hand grasp his thigh to get some leverage and deepen the kiss. Flynn's hand came up, cupping his jaw and sliding her other arm behind his neck, fingers grazing the roots of his blond hair.

A roar of thunder echoed through the house as she climbed onto his lap, allowing JJ's hand to slip under the hem of her skirt, exposing her bare thigh, his calloused fingers feeling rough on her soft skin. This felt different than making out with other Kooks, but Flynn didn't hate it. She wanted...more.

The night had taken an unexpected turn, but JJ wasn't complaining. Who would? He was stuck inside a huge house with one of the hottest chick of the island and her lips were on his, making out as the thunderstorm roared outside. This was fucking paradise.

JJ's free hand came behind her back, pressing their bodies closer before disconnecting his lips from Flynn's to kiss along her jaw, neck and down to her collarbone. She tilted her head back, making more room for JJ's lips, feeling them grazing the edge of her blouse. She encouraged JJ to pull down the sleeve, one of her breasts popping out of the top - which didn't go unnoticed by the blond, losing no time attaching his lips to it, making Flynn moan at the sensation.

Kook boys weren't like that. They didn't care enough to give attention to their partner and their desires. All they wanted was to fuck and only them were allowed to feel pleasure. At least, that’s what Rafe would do.

Pulling back, Flynn detached herself from JJ and reached behind to unzip her blouse and peel it off, watching the blond bite his lip at the sight. JJ did the same with his shirt, almost kicking the candle off the table when he threw it away.

''Careful. Don't set the house on fire,'' Flynn warned, having difficulty finding a way to tell her father how his house caught on fire.

JJ laughed, shaking his head before crawling over to Flynn's end of the couch and placing himself between her parted legs, using his arms as leverage to kiss her. Their bare chests were flushed together, her manicured fingernails digging into his back, making hiss at the slight pain.

Kissing soon escalated into more, Flynn's skirt and underwear joining the rest of her clothes as JJ descended his lips down the middle of her breasts to her stomach, making her gasp and clutch a handful of his blond hair as she felt his lips and skilled tongue on her. Her moans were swallowed by the thunder, its noise getting louder and louder, meaning they were closer to the lightning.

JJ paused, looking up through his lashes. ‘’Judging by the angry weather outside, it looks like we're gonna be stuck here for a moment.''

''Good.''

[evil-overlord-scriptology]

But I Don’t Want to be a Sensei! Pt 5 (ARCHIVED)

Chapters 16 & 17

Chapter 16: A Different Kind of Peach

“No.”

 Naruto pouted, “Awwww, c'mon, sensei! Please? I'll be extra careful!” The blonde little brat batted his eyelashes up at me with an innocent smile. I was not amused, mostly because of the fact that a twelve year old boy could flutter his eyelashes and I couldn't.

 “No.”

 Naruto opened in mouth again, but Haku interrupted him, “Naruto-kun, please don't irritate Yanagi-san. She is still healing.” Zabuza and I snorted at the exact same time. There wasn't much Haku could do to silence Naruto other than hitting him upside the head with a skillet like I was going on doing if the little shit didn't shut his trap.

 Surprisingly enough, Naruto listened to the older teen and edged over to where Sasuke was still resting. It had been three days since the fight on the bridge, or so Peaches said. I had been surprised that I had slept that long, but not so surprised about Sasuke. He had been to the point of complete chakra depletion, just barely alive. Not only was it past the point of no return, but this drain was Sasuke's first brush with chakra exhaustion so it would take a while for his coils to fill back up.

 The second Naruto was out of hearing range I glared up at Zabuza who was sitting against a wall next to my futon, “Bastard.” I snapped.

 He only smirked and crossed his arms, trying to maintain an innocent look like he didn't know what the hell I was talking about. I don't know why he even bothered, he was the only one here who even saw me use the Fan of Wonders so he was the only one who could have told Naruto.

 I bet he did it just to mess with me.

 Damn it, don't tell me this man was another Shisui!

 Haku sighed quietly behind me and cool hands gently grasped my shoulders, “Yanagi-san, please don't talk much. Otherwise the poultice won't stick to your jaw.” He chided as he forced me to slowly lay back down on the futon provided for me.

 The ice user had turned out to be a healer too. But unlike Konohagakure, which had a monopoly on medical ninjutsu thanks to Lady Tsunade, Haku didn't know how to heal with chakra. He simply got by with herbs and backwater remedies, which was what most Kiri nins learned in lieu of medical ninjutsu. It was better than Iwa's 'tough it out, it doesn't hurt' ideology at least.

 I was lucky really that Haku turned out to be what some might call a medic; otherwise I would have to suffer with a fractured jawbone and gaping chest wound all the way back to Konoha since I lacked the talent to heal myself– it was kind of pathetic that I was the best healer in the Uchiha clan, really; and it showed just how bad Uchiha members were at medical ninjutsu.

 The bratling had just better be glad that he never really meant to kill Sasuke, only put him in a temporary state of death. Otherwise I would be the worst patient I could possibly be.

 Peach-boy snickered at my quiet compliance to being manhandled by his student, and I threw Haku's pestle at the grey skinned nuke-nin in retaliation. It infuriated me that he caught it. Haku sighed in a way that made me think he was the adult and we were the children. Honestly I didn't blame him; other than Tsunami, Haku was probably the only mature person in Tazuna's house. Tazuna had been kind enough to offer his home to both my team and the Kiri nuke-nins while we recuperated; he also disregarded the fact that Zabuza and Haku had tried their damnedest to kill him not too long ago. Maybe I had misjudged the man.

 He must be more stupid than I thought.

 “Hey Frizzy-sensei! Sasuke-teme is waking up!” Naruto shouted from the other side of the room. I debated briefly between throwing the mortar that went with the pestle at the loud kid or joining him at my cousin's bedside.

 Haku decided for me when he leveled a stern look at me, “Don't get up, you might reopen your wound.”

 “Which?” I asked, deliberately being obtuse. I had only been wounded at the chest, and Haku's reaction was too hilarious to pass up on.

 Like I predicted, Haku blushed and stuttered. It had turned into a rather entertaining game for me to make Haku blush, almost as fun as irritating Sasuke. The ice user was at that awkward age where talking about the other sex's anatomy was very uncomfortable, and I milked it for all it was worth. The boy's visible eye started drifting to my chest before he abruptly jerked his gaze away and stared vehemently at the poor wall. There was a pause before the teen scrambled to his feet and hurried over to check on Sasuke.

 Or to get away from me, it was hard to tell.

 Which Haku out of my hair, I turned my head to eye the Demon of the Mist, who was trying his hardest not to laugh, “Now what?” I asked. I was really hating not being able to speak much, but at least I could speak again.

 Peach-boy shrugged and didn't answer me.

 Not amused, I reached out and flicked the man's big toe, since it was the closest thing to me. Zabuza gave me a funny look to which I returned with a lopsided grin. Now that we weren't enemies I planned to annoy the man to the best of my abilities. With no Kakashi-nii or Nii-san around, I was feeling a little deprived of annoying people. Team 7 didn't count, they were just traumatized whenever I pulled funny shit.

 After failed for several minutes of trying to get a reaction out of the nuke-nin, I reached to my left where Haku had placed my weapons pouch–why did that brat even touch a foreign ninja's weapons pouch was beyond me–and yanked out a my Fan of Wonders. It surprised me that someone, probably Haku, had thought to retrieve the weapon from the bridge; but I wasn't going to complain. The thing was expensive as hell and I would probably never earn enough money to replace the one I had; Kakashi and Obito had to split the cost of it when they had it commissioned for me when I made jounin rank. Besides, I was attached to the fan I had for obvious reasons. Planting my right elbow into the floor, I managed to push myself into a sitting position with the fan in my lap. I really wanted to just lay on my futon and bother Zabuza, but I had a stupid report to fill out.

 Kill me.

 Zabuza had a strange look on his face as he watched me take my field pen and ink block out of their hiding places. He had already seen the senbon launcher and the kunai blade during our fight, so it was no wonder he looked a little amazed at the fan's many hidden compartments. Peaches even choked a little when I twisted the heel sole of my discarded right sandal and pulled out a blank miniature scroll, the perfect size for a messenger hawk to carry.

 “Is there anything you don't hide?” The nuke-nin drawled as I made the ink.

 I gave him a dry look, “My temper.” I deadpanned then ignored Peach-boy as I hurried to write my post battle report. It had already been three days since the battle, if I waited any longer the Hokage was bound to strangle me for mimicking my brothers' habitual laziness.

 'Yellow Update

 Mission status: Complete

 Team: Genin Team 7

 Report: Team encountered A-class nuke-nin, Momochi Zabuza at Destination, with Identified Ally: Yuki Haku. Battle ensued, Team Leader heavily injured: Fractured Jawbone and Wound to Chest. Genin A heavily injured: Temporary Death State and Chakra Depletion. Genin A activated Kekke Genkai, will require Clan Guidance upon Return. Genin B has temporarily Accessed S-Ranked Secret; unknown to all members of Team. Battle concluded with No Deaths in either Party. Deaths of Mercenaries and Gang Leader: Gatou. Temporary Truce with A-class nuke-nin, Momochi Zabuza and Ally. Full Report Due upon Team's Return. Will attempt to solve remaining problem with Diplomacy.'

 I waved the unbound scroll in the air like a little ribbon to dry the ink faster, before rolling it up and painting two bands around the outside, marking it as Moderate Priority. The report was only a post battle report and didn't require the immediate attention of the Hokage; but still, Sasuke's activation of the Sharingan, Naruto's use of the red chakra, and Zabuza's change of heart were all important events that the Hokage should know about before Team 7 made it back home. Especially since he would have to inform the Uchiha clan about Sasuke.

 I was about to tie up the problem with Gatou too when Haku found his courage again and descended on me like a vengeful Ice Princess.

 Peach-boy was no help at all.

 vvv

 Another three weeks went by as we all waited for the bridge to be completed and for Sasuke to regain his strength to move out. The Hokage had sent back a response via my messenger hawk that Zabuza and Haku would accompany us to Konoha, not as prisoners but to work out a deal with the Hokage. I had used my sharingan and a pilfered slip of paper with Gatou's writing on it to forge a will stating that the deceased man's entire fortune went to Zabuza; to give the Kiri nuke-nin an excuse and a place to stay out of trouble. It was for Konoha's benefit; we would lose a customer, but gain an ally and a foothold against Kirigakure if the village ever needed it. After all, a shinobi never wasted an opportunity to plan ahead.

 Unless you were a numskull like Naruto.

 “No, no, no! I can't find it, it's gone!” Naruto cried as he rifled through his mission's pack with desperation to find something. Haku and Hinata were the only ones to watch the brat panic in genuine concern while Sasuke just glared at Haku whenever he thought no one was looking. Zabuza and I straight up did not care.

 “N-Naruto-kun... what are you looking for?” Hinata asked. She had been acting strangely ever since the fight and I fully intended to wring it out of her the second we got home. Or possibly throw her at Obito and let Mr. Feelings deal with the Hyuuga heiress since I already failed at the emotional buddy-buddy thing.

 At least she wasn't stuttering much anymore.

 Naruto groaned and jammed his stubby little finger into his hair in frustration, “Teuchi gave me a coupon for one free order of ramen and I know I had it on me!” I groaned quietly and pinched my nose. I should have known that this was about damn ramen. I was seriously contemplating on sending Naruto to therapy over his addiction to ramen; but I was sure Kushina would roll over in her grave if I did.

 Actually, knowing her, she'd just haunt my ass from the afterlife.

 I shuddered at the possibility and dropped the thought. The last thing I needed was Naruto's mother coming after me as a ghost. She had been scary enough alive and I didn't want to suffer through another concussion courtesy of a dead Uzumaki woman.

 Zabuza shot me a curious look, which I pointedly ignored. I didn't wish to add insanity to the list of things Zabuza thought about me.

 My sensei instincts kicked in by then and I looked up to see Naruto starting to run off, “Hey! Get your ass back here!” I snapped. There wasn't time for this; the Hokage expected us back in a week and I sure as hell wasn't going to let something as stupid as a misplaced coupon delay our return any further.

 “I'll be right back, I swear!” Naruto called over his shoulder. He was gone in a flash, probably thinking that I was going to chase him. I swear that kid was learning to quickly on how to evade my ire, I had a feeling that I was becoming predictable. And a ninja often created very bizarre situations just so they lost their predictability.

 Obito-nii was going to suffer from a butt load of pranks when I got home.

 Haku started after my brat, “I'll get him.” He said calmly before zipping off.

 I pursed my lips and grabbed Sasuke by his Uchiha collar as he began to walk in the opposite direction of Naruto and Haku, “You're going after them.”

 My cousin gave me a very teenager look, “Are you serious?” If I didn't know better, I would say he was whining. In the back of my mind, I groaned. Great, now Sasuke was getting to the teenage rebellion stage and Naruto would likely follow soon. There was going to be a lot of head bashing in their future if they didn't pass through the stage quickly.

 “Yes.” I deadpanned and shoved him back towards the Land of Waves. The boy heaved a sigh and started walking slowly back the way we came. My hand twitched and I came this close to finishing what Haku started. The damn brat was being difficult on purpose!

 Once the damn little cocky Uchiha prince of the brats was gone, Peach-boy turned to me, “You still don't trust us.” It wasn't a question.

 I scoffed, “I trust Haku, at least when it comes to Naruto. It's you I don't trust.”

 “When why-”

 “Why did I send Sasuke after the other two boys?” I finished from him. I shrugged, “Have you seen the was Sasuke glares at Haku? I don't want to deal with that drama for the rest of the week. They can all work out their problems away from me. I'm their sensei, not a damn therapist. Now come along, Hinata, if I remember correctly there's a tea shop around here somewhere.” I didn't leave the Hyuuga any choice as I grabbed her wrist and forcibly dragged her along. I could hear Zabuza sighing then fell in step beside me without a word.

 vvv 3rd POV~ Haku vvv

 “Naruto-san, please. Yanagi-san and Zabuza-sama are waiting for us. Yanagi-san is already upset, let us not anger her more.” Haku asked as he caught up to Naruto. Naruto didn't slow down in his tree jumping though.

 Naruto-san landed on a branch and was about to push off again when a barrage of kunai knives perforated the poor innocent tree limp. Naruto yelled in surprise then followed the trajectory to where Sasuke stood upside down on a branch twenty feet higher than Naruto's.

 “Hey, what's the big idea?! Watch were you're throwing those things, teme!” Naruto shouted as he waved his fist around at his teammate. Haku resolutely decided that this was a team conflict and stayed silent. He had already witnessed the odd dynamics of the dysfunctional Team 7 and didn't wish to be sucked further in to their insanity.

 Sasuke-san didn't sound very amused, “That's payback for not being a team player. You've wasted enough of our time already, let's head back. Yanagi-itoko is pissed.”

 Naruto slumped a little and Haku was mildly surprised that he was already giving in. During one of the many dinners that Yanagi-san practically twisted arms, particularly Zabuza-sama's, to make sure everyone was present, Naruto-san had declared his own nindo way: that he would never give up no matter what. The way the preteen had said it made Haku think Naruto would never stop, not even for the most trivial matters.

 “Okay, I get it.” Sasuke scoffed in victory, but it proved to be premature, “I will... right after I take care of my business!” Naruto-san exclaimed and leaped under Sasuke-san. Naruto patted his rear end in a very immature manner, “Like I'd ever take orders from you, bone-head!” He called to Sasuke, who looked a little bewildered.

 Haku sighed when Sasuke-san shot after his teammate. He had planned to return to Zabuza-sama now that Yanagi-san had sent Sasuke-san after Naruto, but it looked to be he was going to have to go after them and act as the mediator between the two stubborn genin.

 It didn't take long for the three of them to reach the little town where Gatou had been killed. Haku followed after the two younger boys from a short distance, just beyond hearing range. He had stopped for a moment earlier to put on his cracked pseudo hunter-nin mask to hid his burn scars and hadn't bothered to regain the distance it had cost him; he wasn't trying to stop Naruto like Sasuke-san was. Haku saw no need to since they were already in the town, it would just be better for all of them if Naruto-san finished his business and went back willingly. Why Sasuke didn't see that was beyond the Kiri nuke-nin.

 There was a poof of smoke that indicated the use of a jutsu and Haku nearly fell off the roof when he saw that Naruto had transformed into a busty naked girl with only scant puffs of chakra smoke to cover her...

 Haku blushed.

 Yanagi-san had already exploited Haku's aversion to the awkward topic of women anatomy ever since she regained her ability to speak. Zabuza-sama had been no help at all since he found the whole thing amusing. Haku had a sneaking suspicion that Zabuza had intentionally told Yanagi about Haku's dislike of the topic to get back at him for ignoring his master those first three days when Yanagi-san had been unconscious. Haku would have probably continued avoiding Zabuza-sama if Yanagi hadn't, almost literally, bashed their heads together and flat out told them what the other was feelings about Haku's near death.

 For such a surly woman, she did think of others... sometimes.

 While Haku had been trying to collect his dazed thoughts, Sasuke-san thankfully broke the transformation jutsu and had tied Naruto-san up with ninja wire. Haku quickly leaped the rest of the way until he was crouching on the roof directly above the Konoha genin.

 “Just give it up would you?” Sasuke-san asked in that emotionless, slightly condescending, voice he often used when around Naruto. Haku watched the Uchiha boy curiously. They were already in town, to drag Naruto-san back now would be just a waste of time. It was better to let the blonde boy get his coupon and head back, that way they killed two birds with one stone. Right?

Another voice spoke, “Hey! What are you two doing here?” The three boys looked at the speaker. Tazuna-san stood in front of Naruto, looking as if he were about to go on another journey, if the pack on his back was anything to go by. Now that the Great Naruto Bridge was finished, Tazuna would likely be raking in more commissions to build bridges, so it was no surprise to Haku. In fact, if Zabuza-sama decided to stay in the Land of Waves they would probably be escorting Tazuna-san around a lot. Kind of ironic, at least to Haku.

 Naruto brightened at the sight of his team's former employer, “Tazuna-oji! Talk about perfect timing!” He tried to move, but Sasuke jerked on his 'leash', “Ya see I left something at your place.”

 Tazuna-san leaned down so he was closer to Naruto's level, “Wait, let me guess. A little slip of paper?” Naruto nodded happily. “Inari-chan wanted to make sure you had so he ran off a little while ago to take it to you.” Haku mentally winced at that. If Inari-san caught up to the rest of their group, he would have to face Yanagi-san. During their time at Tazuna's house, Haku got the instinct impression that Inari was scared of Yanagi. Knowing the jounin, it probably wasn't unfounded.

 Really, Yanagi-san was just like Zabuza-sama.

 Haku leaped from the roof, surprising Tazuna-san, “Come on. Let us head back, Naruto-san. Maybe we'll come across Inari-san.” He suggested quietly. Naruto seemed to cheer up at the thought but Sasuke-san narrowed his dark eyes at Haku. Haku immediately backed away, he knew that Sasuke-san was touchy about the subject of his defeat and Haku had no intention on broaching the topic until Sasuke-san was more calm, if ever. Haku didn't like conflict of any kind, not even verbally.

 After a few tense seconds of silence, Sasuke-san reached down and cut the ninja wire from Naruto. He turned away and stuffed his hands in his pockets, “Let's go.” He ordered flatly before walking back to the way they came. Naruto-san shot to his feet, dusting off his orange jumpsuit and ran off after his teammate, pausing just briefly to wave good-bye to Tazuna. Haku watched the two genin go with fatigue before tiredly wondering after them. In the scant three weeks he had known Team 7 he had already seen more drama than the entirety of his time with Zabuza-sama.

 Haku seriously doubted he was going to survive the rest of the week with them.

 “Inari! Hey Inari!” Naruto-san was calling as the three of them walked calmly back up the road that they were taking back to Konoha. Naruto was looking left and right, trying to peer into foliage for the little boy. Sasuke-san and Haku walked flanked him, Haku was trying to help Naruto look while Sasuke-san just walked with his hands folded behind his head, he apparently did not wish to help. Haku did not blame him though. Sasuke-san didn't seem like the person to help unless it benefited him. He acted like a true shinobi, unlike Haku who was too soft.

 Naruto-san stopped and planted his fists on his hips, “Huh, I was sure Inari would be down this way...” He mumbled to himself. Haku startled when Naruto suddenly twisted around and pointed an accusing finger to the casual Sasuke-san leaning against a nearby tree. “Hey Sasuke! Get over here and help me look too, would ya?!”

 Sasuke turned his nose in the air, “Listen, Inari when looking for you. This doesn't involve me.” He said with mild contempt. Haku tilted his head to look at the younger dark haired boy. He had often heard that teenagers were rebellious, but he never had been able to witness it himself since he was always around Zabuza-sama who avoided other kids like the plague. He wondered mildly if this was what those people meant.

 Naruto gritted his teeth, “Ah c'mon! Whatever happened to teamwork, huh?!”

 “That's the only reason I'm here with you now, show some gratitude, loser.”

 Haku could hear Naruto's teeth gritting from a few feet away and he winced at the sound. “I'll. Show. You. Gratitude.” Naruto seethed as he stomped off into the woods, punctuating each word with a footstep.

 Haku wanted to comment but felt that it wasn't his place. Besides, Sasuke-san did not seem to like him and Naruto-san didn't look to be in the mood to hear advice from anyone.

 “Hey, where are you going?” Sasuke questioned as he watched his hot headed teammate stomp away.

 “Shut up! I need to go take a leak!” Haku grimaced at Naruto's uncouth manner. It was at times like this that Naruto reminded Haku of the Demon Brothers Zabuza-sama employed. Haku rarely used the word 'dislike', but he did not like those chūnin nuke-nins that followed Zabuza-sama around like unwanted filth.

 Naruto-san bent down to grab something and wondered aloud, “What's my ramen coupon doing out here?” That seemed to prick Sasuke's interest as the other boy came to look over Naruto's shoulder. Haku joined them a little later, but didn't get to close. He didn't feel like he belonged here, he almost felt like a babysitter really.

 Sasuke jerked, seeing something that Haku could not, “Wait a second, look there.” He pointed to the forest floor in front of the duo. Haku looked over the boys' shoulder and saw many footprints in the area. Some big and some... childlike. It wasn't hard to figure out that Inari, and possibly a few friends, had been kidnapped.

 Haku stepped up so he was Naruto's other side, “A fight. Likely a few thugs got a way and decided to take a cowards form of revenge.” He spoke for the first time since they had gone in search of Inari-san.

 There was only a moment's warning before the clouds that had been looming in the sky all day broke and poured their load down on all three of the boys.

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 “Just in time.” I commented as we ducked under the tea shop awning just as the deluge began. I was glad, I didn't have to worry about my hair frizzing up any more than normal. It was bad enough that Naruto called me 'Frizzy-sensei' I didn't want to give anyone else a reason to call me that. The hostess smiled at the three of us and waved us to sit down on the long bench in front before she bowed to us and asked for our orders.

 I rambled off mine and Hinata's, knowing that the little Hyuuga heiress probably wouldn't have it in her to speak up, and leaned back so Peaches could do the same; I was mildly astonished that he ordered water. When the old lady ducked back into the tiny shop, I turned to give Zabuza a look, “Are Kiri nin so obsessed with water they drink it everywhere?” I asked incredulously.

 Peach-boy gave me a glare that could evaporate the rain water off my clothes, “No.”

 I was not letting him get away with that for an answer. I didn't like talking to people much, but I hated awkward silenced even worse. “We're at a tea shop it's generally accepted that people drink tea here.” I pointed out slowly.

 For a moment, I thought Zabuza might actually try and hit me. If he did, then Zabuza vs. Yanagi Round Three would commence. “I don't like tea.” He snapped. Seriously, this guy was never social unless Haku was around and even then it was still a 50/50 chance.

 Now Hinata was giving Zabuza a look. People from Konoha practically lived on tea, especially those living in more traditional clans like Hinata and I. In Konoha, someone saying they didn't like tea was like Naruto suddenly declaring that he detested ramen and became a nuke-nin because the Hokage refused to outlaw it.

 Peachy didn't miss our shared horrified looks. He glare turned defensive and he looked away with a harrumph, mumbling something about stewed leaf water and pesky women. I smirked.

 Yanagi: 17 Zabuza: 12

 Another costumer ducked under the tea shop awning and flapped their soaked leather coat out, spraying the three of us in a fine cold spray, but he didn't remove his hood. Suspicious. Zabuza released a hissed breath and glared at the newcomer out of the corner of his eye. I pretended to ignore them as the lady came out sporting trays with our orders and came to take the order of the new costumer. Hinata gingerly took her cup of hot tea while I popped a stick of sweet dango in my mouth. Even from only two seats away, I could barely hear the newcomer as they spoke with the hostess and that only raised my suspicions.

 Without thinking about it, I nudged Zabuza and handed him his wimpy glass of water to excuse the action. In return he nodded in acknowledgment as he pulled down a few of his bandages to reveal his mouth and took a casual sip of water. The whole exchange was smooth and nothing was suspicious about it. Strange that only a month ago we were enemies and now we were working together as if we had been for years. But I guess being under the same roof for nearly three weeks did that to a group of enemies-turned-allies.

 “So when do you think those brats will get back?” I asked, to keep in character. It would seem suspicious to the tea lady, and possibly the newcomer if he had been watching us before, if we all just fell silent.

 Zabuza grunted and said nothing.

 I rolled my eyes, and not for show either. This man was just as annoying as Obito-nii, only in the opposite way. “Might as well be talking to myself.” I grumbled and popped another dumpling in my mouth, taking all my anger out on it by chewing the poor thing. My anger only elevated when I saw Zabuza's smirk before he brought his water to his lips.

 Soon the dango was all gone, eaten by myself really. Zabuza didn't like sweets apparently and Hinata said she wasn't hungry, though I suspected she only said that to please me. I would have forced her to eat one so she wouldn't be hungry, but decided against it to teach her another hidden lesson. Hinata needed to stop being a people pleaser, in the world of shinobi people would take advantage of her faster than she could blink. The Hyuuga needed to grow a little backbone and courage, otherwise everyone would walk over her more times than a welcome mat. I was sure her father already took advantage of her soft nature and it wouldn't be long before she broke if nothing was done.

 The newcomer had yet to take his hood off. Zabuza and I had already written him off as an enemy, but now Hinata was starting to get the drift. Though she was a green genin and not all the confident, I knew that Hinata was the most observant on out of my trio of brats. Having grown up in the Hyuuga clan and having a functioning Byakugan, Hinata had an eye for detail. A Hyuuga could look at a scene for three seconds, without their Kekke Genkai activated, and rattle back immediately everything in perfect detail. There was a reason why they were the ones assigned the missions that entailed guarding someone or finding lost items. So it was no surprise to me when Hinata began stiffening. Hurriedly I nudged her in the side so not to alert the mystery man.

 “Oi, wanna split a plate of dango? I'm still hungry, but I don't think I can eat all of it this time.” I said easily as I shot a warning look at my student. Hinata luckily caught on to it and nodded before looking down at her lap. Leaning back a little, I waved to the tea shop owner from the large window put behind the bench for that purpose. She nodded at me to show she acknowledged me and continued make the stranger's order.

 vvv 3rd POV~Haku vvv

 “Eh?! Inari did what?!” Naruto-san practically shrieked when Inari's friends told him what happened. Sasuke now looked concerned instead of indifferent about the whole thing. Though, Haku believed that Sasuke-san had been concerned ever since they found the signs of a fight, he was just showing that emotion now instead of suppressing it like he normally did.

 Haku stepped in before Naruto-san could question the obviously traumatized kids further, “Naruto-san, we must go. I know these men, if they find Inari-san...” He trailed off, not wishing to go into detail. Not only were there young kids present, but Sasuke and Naruto were still younger than him and obviously fresh genin. He doubted they had witnessed the true horrors of reality yet. To them everything was still good versus bad; with the bad losing horribly and the good getting away with no permanent injuries.

 Sasuke-san, however, seemed to have a notion of just how bad the situation was for he grabbed Naruto by the arm. “Go back and warn the town.” He ordered the kids before tugging his teammate along into a run. Haku zipped ahead of them. He had been trained as a hunter-nin before Zabuza-sama and he defected from Kirigakure, he was an expert tracker and following after thugs stupid enough to have marked a clear path with cuts in trees was probably the easiest thing he ever did.

 It was quick work finding Inari-san in the river, struggling to make it to shore, and with Naruto-san's numerous shadow clones, it was even easier work to pull him out. Haku felt almost useless standing there next to a line of Narutos and watching as the main Naruto struggled to grab Inari-san's hand. As soon as he had him, Naruto leaped out of the water and set Inari down.

 Immediately Haku scanned Inari-san for any obvious injures, but found none. The Kiri nuke-nin was confused, if Inari wasn't injured then why had he been in the river? He had thought that the thugs of Gatou had thrown him over a cliff to watch him drown, but by all appearances Inari looked as if he had jumped willingly.

 Inari-san was staring at Naruto in a daze. He looked at Sasuke, then at Haku and finally back at Naruto, “Why are you here? How come?” He asked.

 Naruto-san gave Inari his trademark, earsplitting grin, “How come? Cuz of you! You did an awesome job, your friends were able to escape and warn us what happened!”

 “The guys are okay?” Inari asked, but before any of the boys could answer, the sound of many footsteps came from their right. All of them turned to see the remainder of Gatou's thugs, a very small remainder, trotting up with the two filthy right hand men of Gatou leading them. Haku narrowed his eyes behind his mask. He did not like those two for trying to kill Zabuza-sama when he was healing from his first fight with Yanagi-san. The only person he hated more than those two had been Gatou himself. And with Gatou out of the way...

 If Haku liked killing, he might say he was eager to kill those two.

 The crowd came to a stop and one of them, the taller tattooed leader with a cutting fetish accused, accused “You're the brats from the Hidden Leaf!”

 The second leader, the one with the strange jacket and purple stripes under his eyes, yanked out his sword as if it were just a piece of metal and not an extension of his arm, “You've gotta lot of nerve coming back here.” Naruto and Sasuke-san both glared and tensed, ready for battle, but so far no one made a move. The two leaders hadn't seen how the battle of the bridge had turned out with Naruto-san creating thousands of shadow clones and the village showing up to take back their home; but the rest of the thugs had and they knew that Naruto wasn't just any ordinary kid.

 “It's just two kids you guys, go get them!” The second leader shouted when none of his minions immediately ran forward. As if they had been the magic words, the crowd of thugs charged forwards with pathetic battle cries. Sasuke immediately grabbed Inari and jumped back. Haku was glad that Sasuke wouldn't let something like pride put someone else in danger. Until now, the ice user had been worried if that would be a major problem for someone as competitive as Sasuke-san.

 Naruto scoffed, “So, you think you can out number me, do ya?” He asked rhetorically and made his strange hand sign. Multiple Narutos popped back into existence and Haku took a moment to admire the younger kid's stamina. Zabuza-sama had once told him that the shadow clone technique was very high in chakra requirement; that Naruto was able to use the Kagebushin Jutsu twice in so little time and still create more than thirty was something extraordinary.

 Haku waited until Sasuke-san had Inari safely out of the way before joining the fight. Luckily by that time some of the Naruto clones had already been popped and so a nice smoke, much like the Hidden Mist Jutsu, permeated the area. Perfect. Pulling out senbon in each hand, Haku began dancing among the thugs, striking out like a snake and putting anyone he hit in a temporary death state. Even if these men had been willingly with Gatou and not just in it for the money like Zabuza-sama and Haku had been, Haku would not kill them unless they forced his hand.

 Now that Zabuza-sama had given up on his dream and started a more peaceful one, Haku hoped he would never have to kill again.

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 I growled and gnashed my teeth, damn this rain! It was making everything cold and I hated the cold! “It's been hours since they went back, how long does it take for them to find one damn coupon?!” I hissed.

 Peaches shrugged, “Haku will find it even if your pests can't.” Really? He was still doing the whole fangirling thing?

 Ignoring his student posturing for now, I tugged at my ponytail and glared at the stranger still sitting at the end of the tea shop bench. I didn't care if it would alert him or not, I was pissed because he was here and I couldn't pop a shadow clone off to go see what the hell those trio of brats were doing.

 Peach-boy landed an elbow in my ribs, making me grunt. He leaned over and hissed in my ear, “Don't do anything stupid.” Damn it, how did this guy get to be so good at reading my mind in the few weeks we hadn't been trying to kill each other? My own brother, who raised me, wasn't as good a mind reader as Peachy was.

 “Elbow me again, Peach-boy, and I'll break your arm off and shove it up your ass.” I threatened. I heard Hinata whimper slightly behind me and shift away. I really didn't blame her. Hinata was a genin with two high classed jounin who weren't in a very good mood at all; one of which was an infamous nuke-nin who had only recently turned 'good' and the other was from an infamous clan known for their anger induced fights and rather horrifying genjutsu.

 My comment finally seemed to get the stranger's attention, who had, until recently, seemed quite content to act as if we didn't exist. “Interesting...” He said lowly. Zabuza and I both whipped around to glare at him in sync. This was it, most likely the hooded stranger would attack and I could take my pent up anger out on him and bash his brains in. I almost shivered in excitement.

 The hood turned a little, giving me the impression that the man might be looking at us out of the corner of his eye, “I thought you were a family, guess your not.”

 Hinata eeped behind me while Peaches and I exchanged dry looks. How this idiot stranger came to such a conclusion, or how he proved himself wrong, I did not wish to know. At all. Ever. Seriously, all three of us were wearing our haiti-ate, of two different villages no less, and Zabuza was lugging around Kubikiribōchō on his back. All we lacked was a sign that said WE ARE SHINOBI AND WILL KICK YOUR ASS. How this idiot thought we might possibly be a family was beyond me. Of course, he could be trying to get a raise out of us. But even then it wouldn't work. Shinobi had control over their emotions, most of the time, and trying to make a ninja blush was about the hardest thing to do and the most clichéd.

 “And I think you're an idiot, turns out I'm right.” I retorted. I was already irritated with my little brats and this never ending rain. Being associated to Peach-bastard in a positive manner was just the icing on the shit cake of my day. We could be out of the damn Wave Country already if Naruto hadn't gone after his damn ramen coupon!

 I swear I was going to kill the brat with training when we got back to Konoha. He'd never ask for another mission like this ever again.

 Unfortunately the hooded man seemed to find amusement in my statement and just laughed. My right eye started twitching then and I was contemplating bodily harm when the source of my ire finally decided to show their nasty little faces. I turned my glare on all three boys when they came up to the tea shop, completely soaked. Naruto and Sasuke paled while Haku stiffened. He might have paled too, but he was strangely wearing his mask. After we had first left the town, Haku had taken the mask off and hadn't put it back on since.

 No matter, he was dead in a few minutes anyway.

 I inspected the other two brats and found small scrapes and specks of blood on their clothing. I hung my head with a long suffering groan. Of course, they would get into some dramatic fight with random enemies. Team 7 was unlucky enough to land a falsely labeled A-rank mission on their first 'C-rank' mission, so why not add more drama to it already?!

 Damn karma demons. Why was I the one stuck with the unluckiest team on earth?

 Sasuke seemed to sense my exasperation for he opened his mouth, no doubt to report, but I just held up a hand, “I do not want to know. You little bastards are filling out your own paperwork this time.” I was not going to be doing paperwork over an extra mission that I didn't even participate in! Filling out paperwork on additional missions that didn't follow the primary objective were a pain in the ass to fill out, more so than normal.

 Naruto and Sasuke shrunk back behind Haku, who seemed to be eying the hooded stranger still sitting quietly off to the side. Zabuza laid money down for our food, which was surprising because I was sure he'd make me pay for what Hinata and I ordered. Peach-boy had struck me to be a big penny-pincher; but I wasn't going to complain if he proved me wrong. More money for me.

 Haku removed his mask to speak, but before a single syllable could leave his mouth, the stranger attacked. Immediately all of us reacted and reached for our nearest weapons, but didn't get the chance to attack. Mostly because we were all staring at the stranger hugging Haku. Not strangling. Not holding him hostage. Not even acting aggressive.

 Hugging.

 Zabuza and I exchanged confused looks. We had probably seen a lot of strange things in our careers, but a total stranger hugging a shinobi scarred by angry red burn marks had to be at least in the top five of most bizarre.

 And yes, this incident beat the time I had to accompany a nobleman's daughter to a local bathhouse, as the 'friend of the day', only to have her almost abducted by her ex-sumo-wrestler ex-boyfriend. Somehow there was also a chicken involved.

 “Oh you poor baby! Poor child! Who did this to you?” The man asked in an odd squeaky voice. His voice was still deep but it rose several octaves at the end of every sentence, almost as if he were talking in questions. Poor Haku looked bewildered and shot us pleading looks from his prison. I seriously doubted Obito, who was internationally known for his infiltration and evasion skills, could get out of that hug.

 “Eh?! Just who are you?” Naruto shouted, pointing a finger at the stranger.

 The man seemed to realize he had an audience, even the damn tea lady had come out of her shop to stare at him. He laughed sheepishly and put Haku back down on the ground, but didn't release the poor kid, “Oh... my name is Kurosawa Momoko.” The person pushed back their hood to reveal a pair of upturned eyes, much like Naruto's, and a mess of short chocolate brown hair. A scar, a nick really, slanted over Momoko's cheekbone and curved downwards towards his jaw like a sideways hook; that alone was enough to identify him as who he said he was.

 I blinked, Zabuza facepalmed and Haku blanched under his burn marks. Team 7 looked between the three of us confused, not understanding anything going on but I couldn't blame their ignorance for that. They were fresh from the Academy and barely knew what a nuke-nin was. Kurosawa Momoko was an infamous mercenary who was responsible for the fall of some country no one remembered anymore more than a decade ago. He... She got her name 'Nariagari Naginata' for the legend of starting several civil wars by using only her naginata and pepper spray.

 All for the fun of it.

 “Last the rumors had it you were in Grass Country causing trouble.” I said dryly.

 Momoko laughed and waved a hand, “I've retired from that business, dearie,” I twitched at the endearment, “there's no fun in it anymore. I got my fill of fighting, now I just wonder the world. I'm glad I did too! Cuz I wouldn't have met this cutie otherwise!” The older woman squeezed an extra ten years out of Haku.

 Peach-boy wasn't looking amused, “Release him.” He snarled. I pursed my lips and wondered if I should stop Zabuza before he did anything rash. It wasn't like he couldn't handle himself against Momoko; for all her skill, she wasn't a ninja and was thus as a great disadvantage, but killing someone just because she was touching his student was a little... well, stupid. Not that I could really blame Peaches for being overprotective, I'll admit that I was slightly overprotective of Sasuke since he had almost died.

 Momoko gave Zabuza a shit-eating grin that dared him to try something and my respect for her went up a little. Not many people could grin cheekily at a pissed off shinobi with a big ass sword and sharp, predatory teeth bared. “Sorry, hon, no can do.” From the look on Zabuza's face, I'd say he wasn't used to people telling him no.

 Though I found the encounter amusing now that I knew that Momoko wouldn't be a threat to us, I was still frustrated. I wanted to go home not stand around in front of some random tea shop in Wave Country and watching an infamous mercenary butt heads with an equally infamous nuke-nin.

 I snagged Naruto's collar and began dragging him away, “Duckass and Hinata, we're going. Those three can work their own problems out.” I ordered. I was so done with solving other people's problems, if I wasn't getting paid for it I wasn't going to lift a damn finger to help. My two slightly smarter students immediately fell in step behind me while Naruto struggled to break my grip on his jumpsuit, squawking with indignity.

 An hour later when Zabuza and Haku finally caught up to us, neither looking remotely pleased with me, I noticed that Momoko was still firmly attached to Haku. That's when I started laughing and didn't stop until set up camp. Even then I would occasionally start snickering again whenever I glanced over at Ice Princess and his involuntarily new mercenary friend.

 vvv

 Our little motley group made it back to Konoha two days behind schedule, and thus earning me a rather stern lecture from the Hokage about picking up my brother's worst habits. Team 7 made our mission's report, as well as Sasuke and Naruto's side mission, then stepped aside and let Peach-boy and Ice Princess lay out a rough plan on what they intended to do now that they weren't 'bad guys' anymore. Apparently they were planning on using Gatou's money to start something like the Academy, to teach the younger generations how to protect themselves properly. The Land of Waves was no where near powerful or wealthy enough to be a shinobi nation, but they wouldn't be at the mercy of people like Gatou anymore.

 Though half of his face was covered up again with bandages, I swore I could see Zabuza's eyes light up in surprise and respect for the Hokage when the old man suggested he meet with one of the Nara to discuss further development on the plans. Apparently that thing just wasn't done.

 Welcome to Konoha, Peach-boy. And get used to our bizarre flavor of insanity.

 As soon as both the verbal and written reports were done, which took two extra hours since I had to teach my brats the proper way to write a report, the six of us were released back into the dying sunlight and into Momoko's waiting arms–at least for Haku.

 I, on the other hand, was apprehended by someone else entirely.

 “Imoto!”

 “Damn it, let go of me Nii-san, before I crack your skull open with a blunt spoon!”

 Obito dropped me, knowing I would at least try to attempt my threat if I thought he didn't believe me. I landed in a pile at his feet and glared up at Nii-san from my spot on the ground. Obito grinned back, “I heard ya had fun. Oh, and Rin-chan as a few choice words for you when she sees you next.” I paled at that. Rin was probably the only medic I really trusted, but she took after Kushina and her hero, Senju Tsunade, too much. If she had somehow found out about the injuries I sustained during the mission...

 I gulped. The only thing I feared the most was Rin when she was pissed off about my medical state.

 Even Kakashi was scared of her then, and he feared nothing. Or so he said.

 “Come on, Haku, we should get your burns looked at.” I started and reached out to grab Haku's arm. I was totally using the kid as a meat shield from Obito's kunoichi teammate.

 Unfortunately Zabuza seemed to catch onto my plan and moved Haku, and by association Momoko, out of my reach. The glint in his eyes told me he meant to do it on purpose, and he fully intended to see me suffer. I was sorely tempted to sic my brother on him in retaliation.

 “Oi! Who the hell are you?!” Obito barked when his attention was drawn to the two Kiri nuke-nins and one clingy retired mercenary.

 Screw it, I was setting Nii-san on Zabuza anyway, just for the hell of it.

 Flashing Zabuza a sneer, I turned to Obito, “Nii-san, this is Momochi Zabuza... and friends.” My brother's goofy aura that he seemed to always emanate faded and his dark gaze turned steely. I always loved watching people around my brother when he went from an idiot to the hardened war veteran he rarely showed. It was a sadistic joy, but I reveled in their looks of horror and fright. I snickered when my team and even Haku inched a little away from the older Uchiha. Zabuza and Momoko didn't look all that bothered though.

 Now for the icing on the cake.

 “And he's the one who injured me.” I added cheerfully, like the helpful little sister I was. Quickly, to be just as helpful, I turned to Zabuza and introduced my brother, just in case he didn't already know him, “Peaches, this is my Nii-san, Uchiha Obito. Internationally known as the Uchiha Phantom or the Ghost of Konoha.”

 Wow, I never thought anyone could go white so fast.

 Momoko was giving me a reassessing look, apparently she approved of my throwing Zabuza to the wolves. I only smirked at the older woman and winked. I fully intended to take responsibility for this. If there was one thing I wanted to see in my life it was Obito butting heads with Zabuza, even if I had to throw them at each other myself!

 Unfortunately Kakashi had to ruin it all.

 “Obito, Rin said that you're to drag Yanagi to her no matter what. Stop glaring at grouchy minnows and do what you're told before she turns her ire on you.” Kakashi commented drily as he popped into existence with the help of a white puff of cloud beside Obito, his standard perverted orange book in hand, “I'll take care of the pest.” He added belatedly and with much venom.

 “Grouchy what?!”

 Nii-san forgot his anger with Zabuza, or at least he ignored it, and snagged me by the arm. “Let's go imoto, before Rin-chan really gets pissed off.” I struggled in his grip, but there was no escaping an escape artist like him. It looked like I was resigned to the fate of being dragged away to meet my doom.

 Just before Obito could walk away, Kakashi said nonchalantly, “By the way, she wanted to see Team 7 and Momochi's brat too.”

 Yes! There was justice in the world!

  Chapter 17: Welcome… Home?

Rin had generously decided to forgo trying to force me into a hospital and just told Obito to bring me, and by result everyone I had returned with, to Obito's and my house. Like my brother, I had a major phobia about hospitals more so than the normal shinobi, so Rin knew that the only way she could get me there was if Obito knocked me unconscious first. And I would not be happy if I woke up there. Our small entourage marched straight through the Uchiha entrance gates with suspicious looks from the guards. The three of us Uchiha weren't paid any mind, nor was Kakashi who was practically an Uchiha in all but name and looks; but Hinata, Naruto and Zabuza received the brunt of every Uchiha member's narrow gaze. Whenever I returned their glares tenfold each person quickly found something far more interesting than the Hyuuga heiress, the Kyuubi brat, and a famous nuke-nin walking around.

 I was the only one who got to glare at them and get away with it!

 I nearly cried in despair when I saw the crowd waiting around the house. Not only had Rin converged on the house, but Sasuke's entire family and Shisui as well. Itachi and Mikoto-oba I didn't mind, Fugaku could go to hell, and Shisui would most likely gang up on me with Zabuza if they were introduced.

 Just end my misery now.

 Rin descended on me before I could punch Nii-san for not warning me about my imminent doom, “Yanagi-chan! I've told you a million times, a million times, that your body can't withstand so much chakra exhaustion! You're going to kill yourself if you keep doing this!” For such a small woman, she had a large voice. No doubt earned from being the kunoichi teammate of two hardheaded stubborn mules commonly known as Kakashi and Obito. “And don't you dare tell me it's part of a shinobi's job like you did last time, this is the eighth mission where you suffered from it! I know you have above average chakra reserves, so how the hell do you manage eight missions in three months?! The expected amount for your chakra levels is only three missions in a year, a year do you hear me?! Not only that, but Obito-kun tells me you passed out from chakra exhaustion twice during your last mission! Well, what have you to say for yourself?!”

 “Sorry mom.”

 In a joint effort, I received three smacks upside the head from all members of Team Minato for my snide remark. I sighed under my breath and idly rubbed my abused head as Kakashi and Obito joined in Rin's lecturing. Sometimes I felt like I had three mothers instead of two brothers and their teammate, it was ridiculous when Team Minato teamed up on me. Most likely this would end with me having a head trauma, a result of the trio smacking me every time I said something snarky, and the three of them arguing with each other. It happened every time and it gave me the perfect chance to slip away though.

 Luckily Fugaku wasn't in the mood to hear three idiots ganging up on a poor defenseless girl and snapped, “Enough.” Team Minato fell silent immediately, but all shot me looks that promised a continuation of the conversation when Fugaku wasn't there to ruin their fun.

 Couldn't wait.

 “Report, Yanagi.” Fugaku ordered me. I glared at my clan leader, not in the mood for niceties. Why the hell did I have to report?! Fugaku-sama already had my post-battle report and the Hokage would be sending him a copy of Team 7's debriefing since it concerned the Uchiha clan.

 He wanted a report? Fine, I'd give him a report.

 “Uchiha Sasuke went above the line of duty and protected his teammate, earning himself the hallowed kekke genkai of our glorious clan. Then he passed out from chakra exhaustion.” Oh, you could taste the sarcasm rolling off me in waves.

 Zabuza shot me a subtle knowing look, of which Obito caught and reflected it back with a 'Big Brother Glare' probably thinking it meant something else. Okay so I was lying when I said that Sasuke passed out, but I was not telling the leader of the Uchiha clan, Sasuke's own damn father, that the person who had made an attempt on his youngest son's life was standing right beside the duckass boy. Especially not when the three strongest Uchiha in the clan were standing right there, one of which being Sasuke's overprotective brother. Haku wouldn't make it a step before he was put through the most horrifying genjutsu he could imagine, sliced into tiny pieces, and incinerated to the point that his ashes were microscopic.

 And he thought I was terrifying.

 Grabbing my brother by his flak jacket, I reached for the inside pocket and snagged myself a piece of candy before he could do anything. Obito squawked and tried to take the sweet back, but I evaded his hand and popped it into my mouth with a grin.

 “Yanagi! That was mine, damn it! You have you're own.” Nii-san snapped at me.

 I shrugged and said around the hard candy, “I'm pretty sure that brat Inari stole my candy stash I had on me. I need sugar before I go on a rampage.” I grimaced when I realized that the confectionery I had stolen was strawberry flavored, but I didn't dare spit it out no matter how much I disliked it. Obito would destroy me if I wasted candy, especially when it was his favorite flavor.

 My brother scoffed at me, “You let your candy get stolen? By a kid?” Funny, coming from the guy who couldn't even stop me from stealing his candy in plain sight.

 “Well you can't blame me, I can't really protect my stash when I'm unconscious.” Wrong thing to say, because that opened Lecture Yanagi About Chakra Exhaustion version 2; and this time Mikoto jumped in on the mothering too. I threw up my hands in defense and immediately started apologizing. I could get away with being surly when Team Minato lectured me, but I could never pull that shit with my aunt. Not without earning an earful from both her and Fugaku about respecting one's elders. I was really tempted to make the sign to ward off evil, but decided against it for the sake of keeping my head where it was.

 vvv 3rd POV~ Sasuke vvv

 Everyone else watched with varying levels of amusement as Yanagi-itoko began apologizing profusely once Kaa-chan joined Obito and his team in yelling at her. Sasuke felt very satisfied to see his sensei and cousin taken down from that high pedestal she put herself on, even if it was only for a moment.

 Yanagi-sensei had been more bearable after Sasuke's brush with death, but only a little. She had gone from treating him like scum under her sandal to being slightly overprotective. Sasuke couldn't really blame her for that, she must have been feeling very guilty if it showed even the slightest. So he endured it as best he could, even if it annoyed him to no end. Kaa-chan and Itachi-nii already smothered him, and having Sasuke's normally grouchy sensei doing the same was irritating. He expected Yanagi to treat him like he was any other genin, it was a refreshing experience from his mother and brother's babying or his father's negligence. Still, Yanagi was very arrogant, and Sasuke didn't like that. So he thought she was getting what she deserved.

 Shisui snorted from Itachi's side, “How long do you think it'll take before she's forgiven this time?” This time? Did this happen a lot? Sasuke hardly saw his two elusive cousins before Yanagi became his sensei. Honestly, he hadn't been able to recall their names at times. When Sasuke first asked his family why he never saw more of his cousins, they carefully changed the subject and he never thought of it again. He knew next to nothing about his cousins, Sasuke didn't even know if they were related to him on his mother or father's side! And he hated not knowing things.

 “Hn. Two episodes of chakra exhaustion is enough to worry anyone. Even if they forgive Yanagi-san, I doubt Obito-san and his friends will ever let her live it down.” Itachi-nii said quietly while casting an expressionless look at Zabuza standing a little further away. Sasuke could see the gears turning in his brother's head. The navy-haired Uchiha had no doubt that his Nii-san was coming to very accurate conclusions about Zabuza and his hand in everything. He wasn't called the genius of his generation for nothing.

 Shisui followed Itachi's gaze and grinned cheerfully at the grumpy nuke-nin, “Yo! Kiri nin, huh? Odd seeing one of you in Konoha. Did you have mission complications with Yagi-chan?” When Zabuza gave him a glare, Shisui's grin took on a devious twist, “Oh I see~! Let me warn you though, Obito-senpai is very overprotective about his little sister. He might actually try to kill you if you make a move on Yagi-chan.”

 The revulsion in Zabuza's eyes amused Sasuke greatly. Sasuke had wondered if Zabuza was interested in Yanagi-sensei romantically. In fact both Team 7 and Haku had often discussed the possibility of their teachers being together, even Momoko seemed to agree that Yanagi and Zabuza liked each other. Not that they'd ever admit it.

 “What was that?!” Obito's voice carried over from where he was cornering his sister.

 Shisui actually cackled, loudly. “Once again, Obito-senpai's sonic hearing strikes! Better run, Kiri nin-san, Obito-senpai has a habit of attacking first and asking questions later... if you can still talk that is.”

 Zabuza shot Shisui a nasty look and Naruto was staring at the goofy Uchiha in confusion, “Eh? Who are you?” The blonde idiot asked, rudely pointing a finger at the older Uchiha.

 Itachi's best friend didn't take offense though, Sasuke would be genuinely surprised when Shisui did take offense over something. He was the most easy-going person he knew of, and Sasuke still couldn't believe that Shisui was the strongest in the clan! “Why, I'm the great Uchiha Shisui! Nice to meet ya, Naruto-kun!”

 Naruto looked surprised that Shisui knew his name, but the young Uchiha boy wasn't paying attention to his teammate. He was more interested in how Zabuza stiffened up and stared at Shisui with an almost fearful look. Even the mercenary Momoko looked more alert now, her eyes sharpening over poor Haku's head as she continued to cling to him. It made Sasuke wonder just what Shisui did to earn his reputation as being the strongest Uchiha. Now that he had the sharingan, he could know the secret. That's what Yanagi-sensei had told him during their first team meeting.

 “Damn it, Obito! I swear I'll kill you!” Yanagi suddenly snapped and everyone not part of that particular conversation turned to see Yanagi glaring harshly at her brother, who's expression was an odd one of smugness and annoyance.

 “Oh really? And just how are you going to do that?” Obito asked sardonically. Beside him, Obito's teammates, whom Sasuke still didn't know the names of, rolled their eyes.

 There was a long moment of silence as the two hot headed Uchiha glared at each other before Yanagi threw her head back and announced loudly, “I declare another Prank War on you, Uchiha Obito!” Every Uchiha in hearing range, even Itachi, choked. It had been almost four years since the last prank war, but Sasuke remembered it very clearly. It had been one of the few times he remembered that his cousins existed, mostly because their pranks had been leaking out and fooling other clan members. It had gotten bad enough that Tou-sama finally ordered both of them to stop under the threat of being kicked out of the Uchiha Compound for good.

 Behind him, Sasuke heard Zabuza muttering under his breath, “That's our cue to leave” followed by Shisui's loud cheerfulness of, “Allow me to escort you out! The Uchiha guards can be a bit nasty if you leave alone.” Somehow Sasuke didn't think that Shisui was escorting the Kiri nuke-nins, and Momoko, out of the Compound by the kindness of his heart.

 Sasuke debated if his parents would let him leave with Zabuza. He knew he was going to be in the crossfire between Yanagi and Obito when all hell broke loose and he wanted to get out while he still could.

 vvv Normal POV vvv

 While Nii-san was still stunned at my deceleration, I turned to his teammates, “Are you two staying for dinner?” I asked, a complete 180 from how I had been acting only a moment ago.

 Rin and Kakashi, however, were used to my mood swings. Kakashi shrugged his assent while Rin shook her head, “Sorry, I have to go check that Kiri boy before they leave. I'm worried that that eye of his might be infected, has it been bloodshot ever since the fight?” I would always be amazed that even when Rin was in the middle of lecture me she would notice an injury on someone twenty feet away. Must be a medic intuition or something.

 I nodded, not at all offended that she didn't trust my skill at medical ninjutsu. I didn't trust my skill at medical ninjutsu, I only learned it because Rin was determined that I had the basics down just in case. “Yes. I hit Haku with a fireball and that caused his capillaries in his eye to burst. You might want to check his chest too!” I told Rin as she took off. She waved her hand to show that she heard, already calling out Shisui's name.

 Mikoto rolled her eyes at all of us and shook her head, “Well if we're done then I guess I should start dinner for my own family.” She turned that hard eyed 'mother' look on me and I had to suppress the shudder going up my spine, “Remember what I told you, Yanagi-chan.” She practically growled and I was once again reminded that my aunt used to be a very powerful jounin before she retired to raise her boys.

 “Yes, ma'am.” I squeaked. The Uchiha matriarch smiled fondly at me and dipped her head in a good-bye before going to join her husband and sons. All four of the Main Branch family left quietly after that, and only Itachi-san bothered to say good-bye to his cousins. My eye twitched as I glared at Sasuke's retreating back.

 Rude little brat.

 Immediately after Fugaku was gone, Obito trapped me in a choke hold, “What the hell, ya little brat? Ya trying to get us killed by our uncle?! Don't you remember what happened last time?” My brother snapped at me.

 I glared up at him, “It's your fault, you shouldn't have said what you did, bastard.” I snapped.

 “Yeah, well I noticed you didn't deny it!”

 “NO! I did not like Peach-boy in that way, you sick pervert! Keep you mind out of the gutter! Just because I act friendly with someone of the opposite sex does not mean I like them!” I snapped and dug my fingers in Obito's left side where an old injury slashed across his ribcage. My brother hissed in pain and released me.

 I whirled on my two remaining genin, “Naruto! Hinata! Get cleaned up and stop gawking like idiots!” I barked. Both of them jolted and blinked at me dumbly. I rolled my eyes in exasperation and explained further, “Clean up for dinner, nitwits. Unless you have somewhere else to be, you're staying here for dinner.”

 Naruto immediately started whining, “Eh?! But I was gonna go to Ichiraku Ramen for dinner! I went through all that trouble for the coupon and-”

 Grabbing his earlobe, I yanked on it to shut the brat up, “Having ramen after a mission is not healthy. I'm not going to have the Hokage jumping down my throat later on in life because you die on a mission due to lack of nutrition. You're staying for dinner and that's final.” I snarled without any real anger in it. When I let go of Naruto's ear, he clasped his hands to the abused cartilage and danced around, howling in pain.

 Hinata was pushing her forefingers together again and I reflexively swatted her hands down, “F-forgive me, Yanagi-sensei, but I… my Tou-sama… I mean…”

 I rolled my eyes and waved her away, “I forget. Go on if your clan needs you.” Hinata gulped and made a quick bobbing bow before fleeing like the devil was on her heels. I watched her go and hoped that the entrance gate guards wouldn't give the Hyuuga girl any trouble. They were a real stickler about visitors, even to the point that visitors had to leave the Compound with an Uchiha escort so they weren't heckled.

 Grabbing Naruto by the collar of his jumpsuit before he could sneak away, I marched into the house, past the squabble that had started between Kakashi and Obito-nii. Honestly, those two were just a grown up version of Sasuke and Naruto.

 ...Or was Sasuke and Naruto a younger version of my brothers?

 I deposited Naruto on the common room couch, where I could keep and eye on him as I made dinner, with a warning not to break anything. The brat didn't move, other than to cross his arms and sulk. I said nothing as I went into the kitchen, the brat would eat whatever I cooked without complaining or I'd kick his ass tomorrow in training.

 After the mess of the Wave mission, I came to the conclusion that it was best if I started taking Team 7's training seriously. I hadn't expected to run into the problem of an upgraded mission rank so soon, and if this bad luck continued I had no doubt it would happen again. It was better to over-train the brats and let them be bored out of their skulls with D-rank than to have them die on a mission they were ill prepared for.

 “Damn it… where is that-!” I cut off with a yelp when a hand appeared over my shoulder, holding the chili powder I was looking for. I twisted around to find Kakashi-nii giving me his trademark eye smile. Cautiously I took the powder from my adoptive brother while giving him a wary look. Kakashi was a neutral party when it came to spats between Nii-san and I; while Rin normally took the side of whoever she thought was right, Kakashi took the side of whoever the hell he wanted to win. And that depended on who pissed him off the most. His loyalty often changed several times before the warring between Obito and I ended.

 Needless to say I didn't really trust the Copy ninja much when it came to pranks.

 Kakashi-nii went to the other side of the kitchen to stir the Miso soup. I watched him like a hawk, knowing this wasn't just about pranking my brother anymore. Kakashi tried to avoided my kitchen whenever possible because he claimed I was a slave driver to anyone who dared enter; but it was his last sanctuary from Obito and Gai since they never stepped foot in the room. The kitchen was my domain and I didn't like trespassers.

 I knew exactly why Kakashi was in here, and it had nothing to do with Obito being an idiot.

 I peeked out of the doorway to where Naruto was sitting. Obito had joined my blonde student on the couch and was listening to Minato's son as he talked animatedly, waving his hands in the air and imitating explosions–probably talking about the Wave mission. Unlike Kakashi, Obito seemed to be enjoying Naruto's company if his wide grin was anything to go by.

 Looking back at Kakashi, I debated on saying anything. Minato-san's death was a touchy subject for any member of Team Minato, but it was a personal issue to Kakashi-nii. Kakashi had known Minato-san longer than Obito and Rin; and even though all three of them saw the blonde Yondaime as a father figure, it was Kakashi that Minato practically raised.

 “So did you ever decide what to do with Netsui?” I asked casually as I returned to chopping vegetables. Even the most oblivious person could see the way Kakashi's shoulders relaxed at my question. I was sorely tempted to throw something at the silver haired jounin. I was rude and nosy with a penchant to collect blackmail whenever I could, true, but I wasn't dense like my brother was. I knew when some topics were touchy and best avoided at all costs; having quite a few subjects I liked to avoid myself.

 Especially when the other person had a very nasty mean streak that rivaled mine and my brother's combined.

 Kakashi hummed from his side of the small kitchen, “Yes. I gave him a trial run, which he passed. He starts training full time next week. Also,” Kakashi's voice turned a little colder, “why didn't you tell me that his twin sister was a fangirl? She wouldn't stop yapping about Sasuke-kun when I took her to Rin.” He hissed at me.

 I laughed, “Oh did I forget to mention that part?” I asked in false surprise then laughed even louder when Kakashi glared at me.

 “What did Rin-chan do to you to piss you off?”

 “Nothing. Really, it's more like what Nerai did to me. We know how Rin is when she's annoyed.”

 Kakashi-nii grimaced, probably remembering a few such instances. While both men on Team Minato had more leeway than most people when it came to Rin, she could only take so much of their incessant bickering before she started smashing heads together. Hard.

 I waved Kakashi away before he could say anything else, “If you're going to be in here, then set the table. And make sure you wipe it down before you do anything! I know how you and my brother are!” Obito and Kakashi were notorious for setting the table without cleaning it first. I always cringed at the thought of eating at a dirty table, but everyone always told me it was just my clean freak showing. I always responded by telling them to go to hell. It was my kitchen and my table. If they wanted to eat my food then they better listen to what I told them to do, damn it!

 “Ugh! No, I'm not eating it!” Naruto whined half an hour later after I finally managed to wrangle my student and Obito into the kitchen to sit down and eat. Already I was regretting letting those two idiots be friends instead of hating each other. All they did was just bounce their idiocy off each other until it was unbearable. I had to actually threaten Kakashi with blackmail so he wouldn't leave me alone with Idiot One and Two.

 Needless to say he wasn't very happy with me.

 I laid my hands flat on the table and towered over the blonde brat, “Listen here, Dumbass, you're going to eat what I cooked or you can starve.”

 “Ha! You can't stop me from eating when I leave! I can easily go home and eat ramen!”

 “Don't think I won't burn your ramen stash; and I am perfectly willing to blackmail Teuchi-san into banning you from his ramen stand. You can ask Kakashi and Obito how far I'm willing to go to get my way. Eat your vegetables, idiot, or starve.”

 “You're not my mom!”

 My eye twitched. This brat was really trying my patience, “No, but I am your sensei and legal guardian. If I say jump, you say-”

 Naruto cut me off, “Wait, really?”

 I blinked momentarily in confusion, thinking he was answering me. When I saw that odd look of eagerness and hope in the brat's bright blue eyes I understood what he was asking. This was Naruto I was talking to, someone who had only been treated with disdain and neglect throughout of his childhood. Underneath that loudmouth idiocy facade he had, Naruto was really just a lost little kid who wanted a family.

 Rolling my eyes, I sat back down with a scoff, “Duh. Did you even read the Shinobi Handbook? Law is that orphaned genin are automatically wards of their jounin sensei until they turn sixteen or become chūnin. Even if they have relatives, it's overlooked to prevent confusion and unnecessary conflict. The only exception is if the genin is part of a clan, and then they just become wards to the clan leader.” Like Nii-san and I had been when our parents died. But both Rin and Kakashi had been legally considered Minato and Kushina's wards. Technically, Kakashi, Rin and I all had joint custody over Naruto; as well as his godfather Jiraiya wherever the hell that pervert was at the moment.

 If a fight about guardianship ever broke out over Naruto, I had a feeling that all of Konoha would eventually be dragged into it.

 There was a silence over the table as Naruto stared at me in astonishment and slight awe, which made me very uncomfortable. I wasn't a very affectionate person, and while I enjoyed glances of wonder because the person thought I was amazing, I did not like being stared at. I glared at him, “Shut up and eat your stir fry.”

 Naruto pouted.

 “Get used to it, gaki. This is the way my imoto shows affection,” Obito snorted. I glared at my brother but said nothing as he took a large bite of his oyakodon Donburi, his favorite food. Immediately Nii-san spat it back out and lunged for his water glass, draining the whole thing in one fell swoop.

 Obito was a wimp when it came to spicy foods.

 “YANAGI!!!” My brother roared and I took that as my cue to flee the scene until further notice. It might be best if I begged someone for a place to sleep for the night.

 The Prank War had started.

 vvv

 “Alright, bratlings, time to get serious.” I said the moment the last member of my students, Hinata surprisingly, appeared the next day. I felt an odd mixture of pride and annoyance when all three of them went white as a sheet.

 ...Maybe I was being too harsh on them...

 Naw.

 I held up one bell, “If you get this bell by lunch I won't use you as training dummies for the rest of the day and I won't request the Retrieve Tora mission for a month.” I was going to pull a classic Team 7 Sensei maneuver, minus the hidden teamwork message since I didn't have time for that bullshit. After all, what was this generation's Team 7 if I didn't force them to do the bell test at least once in their lives? I had never personally experienced it, but I knew enough from when Nii-san complained about it.

 Needless to say I had their undivided attention now. My grin turned a smidgen more evil as I added, “and you better came at me with the intent to kill, because I'm not going to hold back.” Cue the 'oh shit' looks on my cute little genin's faces. “Ready… Go!”

 They lasted ten minutes.

 I casually eyed the slightly ruffled training ground with mild distaste. When Nii-san and I spared, on the rare occasion that we weren't at each other's throats long enough to have a friendly spare, there would be at least a tree or two uprooted and several burn marks. When Kakashi-nii joined us, Fugaku was forced to reconstruct the demolished training grounds. And he was never happy about it.

 But we were never as destructive as Itachi-san and Shisui. Fugaku actually banned the two from sparing in the Uchiha Compound.

 There wasn't even a broken tree limp from Team 7's rather pathetic attempt at fighting. It was a wonder how they had survived the Wave mission. I pinned each genin with a glare. “Up. Again.” I barked and fell back into stance. Naruto wasn't the only one to groan as they climbed to their feet.

 By noon I still hadn't broken a sweat and the brats still didn't get close to the bell. And that was only because Sasuke and Naruto somehow got it into their heads that this exercise was no longer about teamwork but a pissing contest between two idiots. Even Hinata was starting to get frustrated with the two of them when I called time.

 I was irritated enough by then that I bashed the boys' heads together hard to get them to shut up, “If I have to beat this stubbornness out of you I will,” I snarled, “even if I have to tie you together!” Both boys winced in horror at the thought. Maybe it would scare them into working together finally.

 Turning to Hinata, I opened my mouth to tell her how she failed the exercise and noticed her wide lavender eyes filling with horror. I grinned, sometimes it was just fun to traumatize kids. Not because they needed to face reality or because it was an accident, but it was just so damn fun-

 It was hard to describe what happened next. One moment I was smirking evilly down at the shy little kunoichi and the next I was wet, as in soaked to the bone. And not only that, I was cold. If I wasn't mistaken there was an ice cube sliding down the back of my shirt, along my spine.

 I fucking hated the cold.

 Turning around slowly I pinned my grinning brother with a deadly look. On either side of Obito, Naruto and Sasuke looked both horrified and amused at the same time. So they were in on it then. “...Obito...” I hissed through my chattering teeth. Steam rolled off my as the water evaporated quickly under my spiking fire aligned chakra.

 Nii-san cackled something about revenge best served cold and chucked the bucket he had used at my head before poofing away. Only a shadow clone then.

 But I was certain Sasuke and Naruto weren't clones. They might not be the instigator, but they would do in a pinch until I got my hands on that bastard.

 VVV^^^OMAKE^^^VVV

 Deadly Reputation

 vvv 3rd Person vvv

 “We don't need your help.” Zabuza snapped as the woman who had been yelling at Yanagi checked Haku's eye. The poor boy stood there awkwardly, trying not to blink as the stranger stared intently at his bloodshot eye.

 Rin ignored the grouchy man's comment as she produced a scroll from her weapons pouch. She handed it to the boy with a smile, “Apply this salve to your burns twice a day. The ingredients are listed on the scroll so you can make your own once you run out. And don't worry about your eye, it'll heal on it's own!” Haku blinked at the kind woman, he wasn't used to people giving him something with no strings attached.

 An arm snaked around Haku's shoulders and the ice user stiffened when he saw the owner of the arm was none other than the famous Shunshin no Shisui. Zabuza-sama had told Haku many stories of the Uchiha who made Ao, one of the best hunter-nins in Kirigakure, turn tail and run with little effort. Shisui was herald as being the Master of Genjutsu, praised even by his own clansmen. Haku didn't feel very safe with one of the strongest shinobi in Konoha standing right next to him.

 “Don't worry, Rin-san! My buddy Haku-kun will be fine, you can go back to yelling at Yagi-chan if you want.” Shisui said with a cheerful wink. Rin rolled her eyes at the goofy Uchiha as she left the foreign shinobi with Shisui. He reminded her so much of Obito before the war changed him. While her teammate hadn't changed too much there were times, Rin noticed, when he would grow quiet and stare off into the distance, probably remembering whatever had happened to him during the time he was thought to be dead.

 Zabuza growled at Shisui for his familiarity, but didn't dare say a word. As infamous as he was to Kiri nins, there was little to nothing known about Shunshin no Shisui; other than his ruthless genjutsu and his frightful speed. Kiri shinobi were naturally fast, probably the fastest of the five nations after Kumo, and masters of stealth; but Uchiha Shisui had no problem catching any Mist shinobi that crossed his path. Zabuza didn't know how the Uchiha would react if he snapped at him. After dealing with Yanagi, who would react with harsh violence and an explosion of insults that made Zabuza want to blush, he was leery.

 Shisui chose to ignore the former member of the famed Seven Swordsmen and kept his arm wrapped firmly around the awkward teenager's shoulders. Haku reminded Shisui so much of when Itachi was his age, so awkward and formal that it almost hurt. The Uchiha eyed the nuke-nin inconspicuously. Shisui knew from the moment he spotted the bandaged nin that he was none other than Momochi Zabuza, wielder of the Kubikiribōchō and known for having attempted a coup in Kirigakure. But Shisui didn't let on he knew; in his experience nuke-nin, especially those from Kiri, were a little touchy when it came to their missing status.

 Shisui had enough scars to prove their oversensitivity on the matter.

 “So Haku-chan, got a girl waiting for ya? Or did the lovely Yagi-chan scare her away?” Shisui inquired. Haku blinked in confusion, he didn't know anyone named 'Yagi'; the only name that came close was Yanagi and she- Oh.

 “No, Uchiha-sama.”

 Shisui made a peculiar noise in the back of his throat, something that sounded like a gag and a croak. “What's with all the formality? Oi! Do I look like Fugaku-sama to you? It's Shisui, just Shisui. I'm too young to be a '-sama', even a '-san'. Why, I'm younger than Zabuza-san!”

 Zabuza pinned the Uchiha with a look. He didn't know how Shisui knew who they were, he even knew Haku's name and Zabuza had made sure not to let Haku's name slip out in the bingo books, but Zabuza wasn't all that surprised. Uchiha Shisui was a prodigy, not one of the average Uchiha prodigies like Yanagi was, but a genius that was on par with Uchiha Itachi, the famed Genius of his generation.

 By then, the little group had reached the Uchiha Compound entrance. Shisui waved happily to the Uchiha guards, who dipped their heads in acknowledgment. Shisui pulled a face and leaned in close to Haku, whispering, “I even bribe them with sugar and they still do that.” Haku's mouth twitched a little in amusement. In the month he and Zabuza-sama knew Yanagi they learned one very important fact: no matter how powerful, violent, grouchy, or arrogant any Uchiha was, they all had one thing in common and that was a sweet tooth.

 With the exception of the oddball Sasuke.

 Zabuza twitched in irritation when Shisui made no move to let go of Haku, or to leave them. Even Momoko was starting to get annoyed as the Uchiha continued to bother them. They both tried to keep it to themselves, due to their protective instincts over Haku. It was no accident that Shisui had chosen Haku to bother. Shisui had seen the adults' parental instinct over the fifteen year old the moment he saw Yanagi leading her little parade to her house, no matter how miniscule it was. Every little twitch they made was in preparation to protect Haku from any potential threats. That was why Shisui flung his arm over the boy's shoulders. If the nuke-nin or mercenary made a move against Konoha, Haku would be dead before the first civilian casualty.

 Uchiha Shisui was a cheerful soul, but even he was not above murdering someone to protect his home, even if that someone was a teenaged boy with no heart to fight.

 “Hey hey hey! You know, Momoko-san, you should take Haku-kun with you! Haku's gonna need some help fending off the ladies when he gets back. I don't think even Zabuza-san can help!” Shisui chirped cheerfully as he finally let go of Haku when they reached Konoha's main entrance. He pretended not to notice how the nuke-nin or mercenary's shoulders drooped every so slightly now that Haku was out of danger.

 Momoko pretended to consider the Uchiha's offer, even though she had planned on it anyway. “You're right, I think I will!” She, at least, could pretend that the goofy Uchiha in front of her wasn't someone that could murder her in a blink of an eye.

 Zabuza sputtered, “What?! No! Haku is staying with me!”

 “Then you can both stay with me.”

 Haku blanched white, causing his burn marks to stand out even more than they already did, “Ano… why?”

 Momoko flashed him a smile that could rival Naruto's, “Because you're the cutest little thing! I've always wanted a kid like you, Ku-chan!”

 Shisui choked on his laughter at the nickname, but composed himself so he could speak, “Great! The three of you can be one big happy family!” He ended with a cheesy thousand-watt smile.

 Zabuza glared at the man, he had given up any notion that Shisui wasn't anything other than a goofy man who had a frightening reputation. Zabuza would even go so far as to question if Ao was hallucinating when he said it was Uchiha Shisui that made him run and not some other Uchiha that no one knew about. Even the Ghost of Konoha, Uchiha Obito, while as goofy as Shisui, was also known for being vindictive and slightly arrogant. Shisui was just… ridiculous. “Tch. Idiot.” Zabuza muttered under his breath.

 He spoke too soon.

 Shisui grinned even wider until his cheeks hurt, having heard the nuke-nin, “Unless your invited by the Hokage, please don't come back. Not everyone is as forgiving as Yagi-chan,” Shisui's smile slowly died and he stared at the three of them for the first time with a serious expression, “especially when their precious people are injured by you.” Shisui finished and pinned his sharp gaze on Zabuza. Obito-senpai had told Shisui what exactly the nuke-nin had done to Yanagi, and he would never forgive him for that.

 Quickly as his glare appeared, Shisui replaced it with another smile before cheerfully wishing the three of them a safe journey and shunshined back into Konoha, leaving the three of them staring at the small puff of dust disturbed by his quick use of Shunshin no Jutsu.

 Shisui returned to the Compound quickly, a smile on his face and happily greeting his clansmen with ease. He was Shunshin no Shisui and he protected Konoha from the shadows, even behind the shadow of a smile and veiled threats. He would never let anyone befall harm if he could allow it, especially those he considered closest to him.

[bubblegum-idiot]

Klancetober Day 5/6: Haunted House

The Daibazaal Cult

| AO3 | Prompts |

Summary: Pidge makes the gang explore a haunted house that once belonged to cult leaders.

TW: Mentions of cults and murder

Lance’s bedroom door swung open with a high pitched squeak as Pidge and Hunk came bursting in, Pidge’s hands full of papers. “Okay! I have tonight’s spooky activity planned!” Pidge shouted, dumping her papers onto Lance’s bed, startling Lance and Allura as they pushed themselves back the tiniest bit to make room for the mess.

“We’re not playing the ouiji board!” Lance immediately assumed, pushing the papers away from him, making a few pictures fall onto the floor.

Pidge glared at him as she reached down to pick up the photographs, she took a seat on the edge of the bed next to Allura, who was looking through the papers. “While that is an excellent idea, it’s not what I had in mind.” Pidge said with a mischievous smile, folding her arms and opening her mouth to continue.

“Why do you have all these reports about the Daibazaal house?” She chimed in still still sifting through the pages before Pidge could further elaborate on her idea.

Pidge grinned again, turning to Allura and snatching the papers from her grasp “Because! Today, my dear princess, we are going to the most haunted house in town!” Allura giggled at the nickname that had been given to her because of her accent.

Hunk sighed, leaning over to whisper to Lance in a tired voice “I tried to talk her out of it, but she’s very determined.”

“Wait, wait, what’s the Daibazaal house?” Lance held up his hands with a puzzled look on his face, he reached out to grab a picture in hopes of understanding better; it was a dark, dusty basement, but the picture only made him more confused.

They all stared at him in disbelief, the first to say anything was Pidge; “How have you lived here your whole life without knowing about Daibazaal?” Lance opened his mouth to answer, a smug look already on his face, but Pidge continued; “As the story goes, there was once this crazy war general named Zarkon Daibazaal and—apparently—while he was away at the Galarian war, his wife convinced their son that she was getting too old and weak to carry on, and that she needed his help to take the youth of others. So, the son basically started a cult to lure people into ‘giving their life’ to some sort of savior that he made up, but in reality they were being killed in the basement and their blood was being used in like potions to help his mom. And once ol’ Zarkon came back home he also wanted in on the crazy youth action, unfortunately for him some cult member escaped before getting killed and told the police everything, just a few weeks after Zarkon returned!”

Lance stared at the girl dumbfounded and jaw slack, “How did I not know this?!” He yelled at no one in particular, “And why do youwant us to go to some creepy, witchy, cult house? We’re definitely getting killed there!” He exclaimed with wide eyes, staring at Pidge like he didn’t already know she was crazy enough to go to places known for mass murders.

“Why are we getting killed?” Keith asked, voice quiet as he opened the bedroom door, still on the other side of the doorway and his hand on the doorknob.

Lance sighed in relief at the sight of the black haired boy, jumping off his old squeaky bed and marching over to Keith with quick strides, “Keith, please tell Pidge that going to the haunted Daibazaal house is a terrible idea!” He said, draping himself over Keith dramatically.

Keith laughed, pushing Lance off of him, but held onto his wrist as he noticed the taller boy stumble. Once Lance was perfectly on his feet, Keith made his way to the bed; sitting in the exact spot Lance had just given up. “I actually think it’s a great idea. My dad’s told me that I’m a tiny part Daibazaal thanks to my mom, so I think it’d be fun to see where my family lived hundreds of years ago.” He answered with a shrug and a small chuckle, making the bed’s headboard thump against the wall as he leaned back comfortably.

“Great, now Keith’s going to be the one that kills us all! He’s probably using witch powers to convince us all to go!” Lance accused, pointing an index finger in Keith’s face to poke at his forehead, the hand was quickly swatted away with a huff.

“I’m not killing anyone,” Keith glared at Lance before saying; “Yet.” The brunette backed away from him, deciding to hide behind Allura with a frown, forced to stand instead of sit because there was no more room on the bed, but that didn’t stop him from resting his arms and chin atop Allura’s head.

Allura laughed, pinching at Lance’s cheek lightly, but letting him stay where he was.

“Okay, can we go now?” Pidge asked annoyed at Lance’s and Keith’s usual bickering, throwing a glare to each of them.

Allura clapped her hands excitedly, a smile on her face; “Yes! I’m excited to see the house, Altea never had such interesting stories!” She said as she sprang up from the bed, the floorboards creaking from the sudden weight and Lance once again scrambling to not fall on his face. “Sorry!” The white haired girl said as she gave him an apologetic smile.

“You’re too pretty to be mad at, princess.” Lance cooed, flashing a smile that was abruptly interrupted by someone jamming their shoulder into Lance’s.

“Come on loverboy, don’t wanna be late for your murder.” Keith quipped, a smirk on his face as he followed Pidge and Hunk out the door. Lance rolled his eyes with a groan, trying to think of some witty remark while him and Allura made their way out of the small room.

“I won’t be late to my murder if you get murdered first!” Lance exclaimed, shoving into the car seat next to Keith, who gave him a blank stare and rolled his eyes, pushing himself away from Lance.

~~~

The old wooden stairs cried out under the pressure of five teenagers making their way to the old house. The large door’s lock no longer worked due to it’s old age, creaking slowly and low as Pidge gave it a slight push, her flashlight and the setting sun drowned the house in light, showing how everything was in place; furniture was still positioned in comfortable and practical spots throughout the house, covered in many layers of dusts and spiderwebs, while the walls were covered in graffiti markings.

Pidge stepped forward slowly, examining more of the house, everyone quietly followed behind her, going in separate directions. Pidge started to examine the living room closer, shining her flashlight on everything and taking pictures with her phone. Hunk stayed close to the door, observing from afar. Allura explored the whole first floor of the house; Lance tried to stay with her to ‘protect her’, but also to bother her, but she was much more invested in the house. Eventually Lance noticed Keith making his way upstairs and decided to follow him, hoping to get a chance to scare him.

With each heavy step Keith took, Lance made sure to do so at the same time, hoping Keith wouldn’t hear him stalking behind him. Keith kept his flashlight on the floor, making sure not to trip over anything or step in any possible holes; Lance had switched his own light off for his brilliant plan, he noticed Keith step over something, Lance kept his eyes on the floor, hoping to see whatever Keith had avoided; it was an empty bottle of beer.

As Keith rounded the corner into one of the rooms, Lance decided this was his moment to scare him. He took light and slow steps, peeking his head into the room to see if Keith was turned around; he was, looking at the desk on the right side of the room, seeming very interested in whatever was on desk.

“Boo!” Lance yelled, jumping into the room, reaching out to grab onto Keith’s arm; Keith jumped a few inches into the air with a startled yell, turning around and grabbing Lance’s arm, preparing to throw him onto the floor, but saw who it was before it was too late.

The black haired teen took a deep breath, clutching his chest, “Dammit Lance, I was ready to kill you.”

“That’s the second time you’ve threatened to kill me today!” Lance pointed out, giving Keith a playful shove. “Hey, what were you looking right now? You seemed really interested in it.”

“This” Keith held up an old wooden picture frame, the glass that was supposed to protect the picture was completely shattered into tiny fragments, but you could still see hints of the picture underneath; a family of three, a father sporting his army uniform, a mother wearing a long, burgundy dress, and a sweet looking little boy with long shining hair.

“The Daibazaals” Lance whispered, the slightest hint of fear in his voice. Keith returned the photograph to its original placement, nodding as he turned to Lance with an unreadable expression on his face. "So, did your dad ever explain how your mom was related to them?"

"A very distant uncle was some kind of direct grandchild of the son's, apparently he had a bunch of kids with women in the cult." Keith clarified awkwardly, he cleared his throat and said: “We should probably go back with the others now.” Lance nodded immediately, turning to walk out the door quickly, but noticed it was closed, “When did the door close?” He asked, a lump forming in his throat as he glanced back at Keith in hopes of a confession.

“It probably closed when you jumped in here trying to scare me.” The shorter boy answered, giving Lance a playful smile to try to cheer him up.

“Oh, haha, yeah.” Lance let out a fake laugh, walking towards the door, but looking at Keith once again before he turned the knob, “And I totally succeeded in scaring you though.” He said with a taunting smile.

The door knob twisted slightly, but the door wouldn’t open. “Keith” Lance gulped, voice shaking. “The door’s not opening.” Keith pushed him away lightly, taking hold of the door knob and trying to open it once again.

And again.

And once more.

“Fuck.” Keith whispered under his breath, finally letting go on the doorknob.

Lance leaned against the door with a groan, “This has to be a joke right?” He asked rhetorically, before turning around to pound on the door, which now seemed a lot sturdier than before, the old wood only echoed the bangs of Lance's fist. no longer whining under the pressure like it would have before. “Pidge! This isn’t funny! Open the door right now!”

Keith soon joined Lance in banging in the door and shouting their friends’ names in hopes of something.

They don’t know how long they had been trying to get their friends’ attention, shouting, trying to call, trying to text, but nothing, there was no service in the room and for whatever reason, they couldn’t be heard downstairs. Lance leaned his back on the door and slid down, bringing his knees up to his chest with a heavy sigh.

“I knew this was a bad idea, but I came anyways and now I’m stuck in some creepy, probably sound proof room.” Lance rambled, weaving his hands through his hair in frustration.

“Lance, buddy, calm down. Eventually they’ll notice we’re gone and they’ll come look for us.” Keith reassured him, though he didn’t seem very convinced by his own words.

Lance shook his head, eyes staring off into space, “But like what if—what if this room makes everyone forget about us?”

“Lance, don’t be ridiculous, this isn’t a horror movie, it’s just bad luck.” Keith sat down next to Lance, racking his brain for ways to calm him down. “Let’s just get our minds of this whole house, let’s talk about something else.” Keith rolled his eyes at his own suggestion, feeling like he really was in some cheesy horror movie.

Lance let out a laugh, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so optimistic.” He looked at Keith, another laugh escaping his lips. “What do you suggest we talk about?”

The black haired teen shoved his shoulder into Lance’s, laughing with him. “I’m trying to help you, asshole. Just talk to me about whatever; school, family, love, Allura, I don’t know.” Keith’s tone changed by the end of his sentence, looking away from Lance slightly.

A thin eyebrow lifted on Lance’s face, “What do you mean Allura?” He asked, confusion filling his eyes, but a smirk growing on his lips

Keith cleared his throat with a fake cough, “Well you’re always flirting with her, so I just figured something was going on there...” He trailed off with a shrug, turning to look back at Lance and immediately rolling his eyes at the other’s amused face. “What?”

“Dude, Allura’s crazy for your friend, Romelle! She’s too shy to say anything about it to you so she talks to me about it instead, but I think it’s pretty obvious; I mean even Pidge and Hunk have asked me about them.” Lance told him with a small laugh laced into each word.

Keith gave Lance a blank stare, feeling dumb about his own assumptions, “Oh. Well I hope everything works out for her.” He said dumbly, unsure of how to respond.

Lance laughed loudly, leaning on the other teen; and though Keith tried not to, he soon joined in on the laughter, filling the eerie room with their laughs.

After a while of sitting in silence once their laughing died down, the brunette teen looked around the room, flashing his flashlight over everything slowly, “Who’s room do you think this was?” He asked without thinking.

Keith’s eyes followed the flash of light, “I’d guess it was the son’s room, because of the desk, ya know? But weren’t you too scared to function just a few minutes ago? Why are you suddenly interested in the room?”

“You thinking something was going on between me and Allura made me laugh too much to be scared right npw. Anyways I was going to guess that it was the parents’ room because it’s fucking huge, but your reason makes sense too.” “Nah, the dude was a war general, their room has to be twice as big.”

“Maybe we’ll find out if we ever get out of here.”

And suddenly—almost comically—the door was being pushed open, the two boys jumped to their feet, feeling the floor wobble under their feet. Lance pointed his flashlight at the door, half expecting nothing to be on the other side of the door, but instead Allura stood there, a pale, caught-in-headlights kind of look on her face.

“Allura!” They both yelled in unison, running towards her to hug her in relief.

“I thought we were never getting out!”

“The door locked by itself!”

They both yelled at the same time, only further confusing Allura, she gave them a puzzled look, then looked at Lance with a smirk and a wink. “I don’t know what you two are talking about, but I’ll just go explore the other room with Pidge and Hunk, have fun you two!” She giggled, walking off towards another door.

“What was that about?” Keith asked, staring at Allura’s fading figure.

Luckily for Lance, the darkness hid his burning face, he shrugged and gave a nervous chuckle “I don’t—I don’t know. But we should join them” He turned away from Keith, going in the same direction that Allura had disappeared into, with Keith following suit.

As they walked into the other room, they discovered Keith was right, the parents’ room was twice as big as the one they had gotten locked in.

“Wow” Keith whispered, taking a quick glance over the whole room.

Pidge turned at the sounds of more people shuffling into the room, immediately taking quick strides towards the two boys. “Where were you guys? You should have seen the basement! It’s so creepy, look!” She ranted, taking out her phone to show them pictures she had taken of the infamous room.

The pictures were bright thanks to the flashlight, you could see every detail on the walls and floors; like the small splatters of blood that could no longer be removed from the walls or the strange symbols the cult would use, painted on the floor, other pictures showed partially empty shelves, the only things left on them were empty glass bottles, probably left behind by the Daibazaals, and garbage from other visitors.

“While that’s fun and all, we got locked in the son’s room for who knows how long!” Lance bragged, catching the attention of Hunk and Allura.

“What?” Pidge yelled, as Hunk and Allura made their way over to the three. “Tell me everything!”

~~~

“Hey Lance” Keith called out to the taller boy, Lance slowed down to walk next to him as the gang was finally making their way out of the house, “I was just wondering, what you’d think about going to my house, maybe playing with my dog while watching some movies to forget about getting locked in the room of a haunted house?”

“I would love that.” Lance replied with a radiant smile.

[queerhargreeves]

Beyond Capable

Diego is struggling with this damn pepper. He gets the best tutors around.

AKA Diego has ADHD and struggles w/ executive dysfunction and his brothers are Good Boys who love their sibling and just want him to be happy.

——————————————

Diego tightened his grip on his pencil, the puny piece of wood snapping in half in his hand. That was the ninth one in a span of thirty minutes, so you can obviously see how productive this study session was going. The Hargreeves siblings had their History book report due in a few days. If the intense berating he endured from Sir Hargreeves due to his his last grade told him anything, its that he had to do better. Be better. He didn’t want to be manhandled and locked up again.

But he just couldn’t get his brain to zero in and focus. It’s the most simple thing: You sit down. You open the book. You read it. Easy as that - one, two, three and you’re done. Ta da! But that wasn’t the case for Diego. It never has been. Five and Ben can go through books like nothing; it’s as easy and mindless as breathing for those boys. Vanya wasn’t as avid of a reader, but she certainly excelled in her studies. Allison was a solid B student, not too much of an overachiever when it came to academics. However she could easily be an A student if she wanted. Luther was, of course, the perfect golden boy. Perfect scores, perfect performances, the oh so perfect soldier. Even Klaus, the boy is seemingly nowhere and everywhere at once, was able to pull A’s out of his ass with little to no effort. The lanky kid was able to soak up knowledge like a sponge.

Diego, on the other hand, could read an entire page of a textbook and not process a single thing that he read. He would reread it again and again, but to no avail. He physically could not retain the information in front of him, especially when it’s a topic he has little to no interest in. But if you put Muhammad Ali’s biography in front of him? He could get through that sucker in thirty minutes flat. The American Revolution, unfortunately, did not have the same effect.

He took a deep breath and blew a raspberry, leaning so far back in his chair that the two front legs were in the air. Diego ran his hand down is face, trying to muster up the energy to attempt to read the textbook yet again. You see, he’s played this game far too many times. At this point he’s not sure why he’s even still trying. It’s always the same result. It doesn’t matter how much he tries, how much he “applies himself” like Sir Reginald always tells him he needs to do. It doesn’t matter how many times he recites the same passage over and over, it never sticks. Things never process like they should.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been staring blankly at the wall, lost in his thoughts before he heard a three soft knocks on the door. Ben.

“Uh, it’s unlocked.” Diego called, swishing his body forward so all four legs of his chair were planted on the floor.

Ben slowly opened the door, a sly smile on his face and gave a small wave with Klaus in tow right behind him. This wasn’t an unfamiliar scenario, the two of them sneaking off into his room. But it was designated study hours? Something they, well Ben, took seriously.

“What’s up?” Diego stood briefly and spun the chair around before sitting back down and crossing his arms on the backrest.

The two brothers plopped themselves on the bed, shoulder to shoulder.

“How’s the book report comin?” Klaus pointed at the book behind Diego, his eyes eventually falling on the pile of broken pencils on his desk. Ah, yep. He could clearly see how productive the last hour has been.

Diego cleared his throat, adverting his gaze to the floor. “It’s going.”

“I know you didn’t do hot on the last one...” Klaus trailed, glancing over to Ben. He mouthed “help me”, his eyes frantic. The shorter boy rolled his eyes, but he knew he was better at this sort of thing. Support and all.

Diego immediately stiffened at the statement, his face getting hot. He knew it was no secret he wasn’t the smartest one, far from it. Diego knew the six siblings all watched as Reggie dragged the hit out the room and down the stairs. They all heard the desperate, inconsolable promises he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep, the pure panic in his voice.

“What Klaus means is,” Ben started, his voice gentle, “We want to help. I already finished the project last week and per usual, Klaus here won’t start it until probably the night before. We have a few days until it’s due and you’d be surprised at how much you can do in 72 hours!” Ben gave a small chuckle in attempt to light the mood. Didn’t work as well as he planned.

“But we just uh,” he swallowed, “we don’t want to see you get in trouble again.”

Diego finally looked up, his eyes flicking between his two brothers seated in front of him. They had matching smiles on their face, both looking a little too eager as they awaited his response.

“Are you sure?” Diego’s voice was unusually quiet, “I’m uh. Not good at this stuff. It may take a while.”

“Dear brother, we came prepared!” Klaus whipped around and yanked the big duffle bag from behind him and onto their laps.

“This,” Klaus unzipped the top, grabbing at the contents inside, “will keep us busy.”

He pulled out an assortment of flash cards, notebooks, sticky notes, page dividers, and the biggest pencil case full of every color of pen, sharpie, and highlighter your heart could ever desire. Ben stood and threw the remaining contents on the floor: many blankets, pillows, and enough snacks and water to feed them for the rest of winter.

“So what do ya say, bro?” Klaus placed a hand in his hip, clearly proud of their extensive haul.

“Study night?” Ben inquired, grinning.

Diego’s mouth gaped open, staring at the array of stuff that littered his floor. He was half expecting his siblings to start making fun of him and his study habits. Or to treat him like he’s inferior to them, something the brothers who weren’t in the room were famous for. Or he was waiting for them to give a similar “you could do so much better if you applied yourself more” speech. But this? This was not what he was expecting.

“S-study night.” Diego echoed, the corner of his lips twitching up ever so slightly.

“Great!”

Klaus clapped his hands, whisper shouting, “I’ll set up the nest!”

Klaus was quick at work, laying all nine blankets and quilts down atop of one another. He brought all the pillows onto the blankets, leaving a few against the bed for the boys to lean on. He threw the assortment of crackers, granola bars, Oreos (how did he get those???), and fruit snacks into a pile at the edge of the blanket nest, water on the opposing side. Once satisfied with his work, he took a step back.

“Our new humble abode awaits.”

Ben helped Diego gather his source materials, gently placing them in the middle of the blankets. He grabbed the pencil case and notebooks over with him and plopped himself down.

“Why don’t you get in the middle, Diego.” He smiled kindly up at his brother, leaning his head and motioning to his right. Diego quickly complied, Klaus stumbling to his seat at his left.

“So what I was thinking is, we make an outline.” Ben grabbed one of the notebooks and placed it in Diego’s hands.

“It’s an informative essay, right? We just have to talk about one of the significant events of the American Revolution. Which one did you choose?”

Diego started to actively tap the textbook that was in his lap in a violent staccato, “Uh. The Boston Massacre I think.”

“Okay good! That’s a good choice - there’s lots of information about it.” Ben nodded, his tone light and encouraging. Not patronizing like how Five was when he asked for his help with the quadratic formula the other day.

“The report needs to be five paragraphs. So we need an introduction,” Ben grabbed a pencil and wrote INTRO at the top of the page, a lone a few inches below giving him enough room to write one.

“Then we need three body paragraphs. So we need to find three separate or significant events that happened during the Boston massacre.” He wrote BODY 1, BODY 2, BODY 3 on the page right below the INTRO.

“And we finish off with a conclusion. It has to wrap up everything we talked about, but it can’t be the same as the intro. This is always the trickiest paragraph for me to write, but we have loads of time.”

Diego’s eyes closely followed Ben’s pencil with every swipe. The way Ben was explaining it, breaking it down as it it was a breeze, made the project seem a whole lot less daunting.

“How about we start reading and find the three things we’re gonna write about?” Klaus added, putting his hand on top of Diego’s violently tapping ones and gave a light squeeze. “You got this, I promise.”

“Sure, okay.” Diego croaked out, nodding. He opened the book right where he left off, page one of the Boston Massacre chapter.

Ben and Klaus watched as Diego nosedived himself into the book. They both noticed the way his brows would scrunch as he read, blinking violently. They saw the way he locked his jaw so tight it almost looked painful. His knees were bouncing, his whole body involved in the reading process. This obviously wasn’t working. After a few more beats of silence, Ben spoke up.

“Diego,” Said boy whipped his head up, soft brown eyes meeting with his very own.

“Let’s try something a bit different. Give me the book and I’ll give you this notebook,” He swiftly took the textbook from Diego and placed it in his lap, handing him the notebook with the outline, “and I’ll read it out loud and you follow along with me. When we find something we think we can work with, we’ll jot down some notes and fill out the outline. How does that sound?”

“Uh, yeah. Okay.” Diego agreed, picking up the pencil and tapping it against his thigh.

“Alright, where are we... ah yes.” Ben was off, reading the text in front of him aloud. As he continued on in the section, Diego’s body slowly started to release itself from the tension he didn’t even know he was holding. His shoulders were relaxed, his jaw unclenched and the pencil was longer tapping against his thigh, but held in a loose grip. He leaned closer to Ben, finding himself actually involved with what he was reading. He was understanding, he was even intrigued.

“There! Right there!” Diego exclaimed, pointing at the paragraph they stopped at. “That could work.”

Ben quickly scanned the paragraph before lifting his head and nodding. He smiled, “Yep, that could absolutely work. Good job, Di.”

“Here’s your notebook back!” Klaus handed Diego his outline and lightly gasped at what was no longer his original outline anymore.

Klaus had carefully made a real outline on the paper. He had organized it by color, the neat box for the introduction and thesis statement being blue. Then the three body paragraphs were in pink, and conclusion green. Klaus banded Ben a blue, pink, and green highlighter.

“I figured color coding could also help keep the ideas straight! So whenever you find information for the intro, like certain dates and stuff, you underline it in blue. When you see facts for your body paragraphs, underline it in pink. And so forth. I know that it’s definitely easy to get all the information mixed up, ya know? This’ll make it a bit easier to differentiate I hope.” Klaus rubbed the back of his neck, “You like it?”

“I-,” Diego cut himself off. He had gotten more work accomplished with his brothers in the last 15 minutes than he had for the last hour and then some. Ben and Klaus talked about school in a way that made him understand. They weren’t dumbing anything down, they weren’t trying to force him to try harder. They were simply offering alternative methods, trial and error. And so far there hasn’t been a single error.

Diego needed to thank them for this - for putting up with him. Grace’s help was never able to get through to him, nor Pogo’s. Five and Luther were a lost cause and their help only ended in insults and even more frustration. He had learned a long time ago that there was no hope for him. He was just the lazy, dumb brother.

“Thank you guys for doing this. I know I’m s-st-stupid but you-“

Diego was immediately cut off by Klaus’ finger at his lips, the curly haired kid shushing him “Nuh uh, nope. You stop that train of thought right there mister.”

“I agree, none of that.” Ben quipped, the two of them turned to face the smallest boy.

“Diego, it’s clear that you’re incredibly intelligent. You just need a little guidance in finding ways that work for you. There’s no shame in that. Every brain is different. Vanya had the entire circle of fifths memorized by the time she was 10 but can only do her times table up to 6. You are beyond capable of doing this, doing school. Don’t listen to Reginald, he’s never been right about a single thing in his damn life.”

“Benny dear, did you just, just” Klaus started to giggle, “swear?”

“I, uh.” His face suddenly split into a huge grin, light chuckles escaping from his chest. Diego followed suit, losing composure. The three of them erupted into laughter, their best attempts at keeping quiet failing.

“Okay! Okay!” Klaus panted, his hands grasping his stomach, “I’m in PAIN! I can’t...”

The other two’s laughter slowly started to subside as well, just a single chuckle here and there until eventually they all evened out into a comfortable silence.

“Let’s...keep going?” Diego asked lightly, looking over to his left and right.

“Yeah, yeah let’s do that.” Ben agreed, picking up the book at where they left off.

The three boys continued on, creating a comfortable rhythm. They munched away on snacks, working diligently. Diego was getting faster at spotting the important sections. Sometimes his enthusiasm caused him to leave out certain details here and there but Klaus was there to gently ask him to reread it again more carefully. Diego was receptive and found the errors, adjusting accordingly. The trio worked like this until the entire outline was completely filled, leaving absolutely no room left on the paper. He has so much information that the essay was basically written; all he had to do was write it down on paper.

He received a 99%, his first A+. AKA a higher grade than Luther. His brothers helped him celebrate with more impromptu bedroom parties filled with nothing but laughter and snacks. The even numbered boys would be alright.

[awhitehead17]

Red Challenge: Day Three - Red Alert 

Summary: Tim and Kon have a very promising night planned with one another but it gets ruined when a certain alarm goes off. 

Enjoy! :D

Strong hands were the only thing keeping him up off the floor as he continues to kiss his lips. Kon’s arms were hooked underneath his thighs, his hands resting against the backs of them, almost on his ass. His legs were wrapped tightly around Kon’s waist, his arms locked around the meta’s neck as they share a heated kiss. 

Tim let’s out a moan when he feels Kon squeeze the back of his thighs, the action making him want more. He runs a hand through Kon’s short, cropped hair and his other hand over his shoulders and down his back. Tim pulls out of the kiss breathing heavily. He looks down into Kon’s eyes, “Take us to the bed.” The demand was quiet and came out in a raspy voice. 

Kon doesn’t question it. He does what Tim wants and takes them over to the bed, never letting go of him as he does so. As he begins to walk he stretches up and captures Tim’s lips in another series of kisses, these ones were somehow more sloppily yet heated than the ones before. 

Tim was so caught up in the reality of Kon’s lips that he didn’t even realise that they had made it to the bed until his back was hitting the mattress. Kon had tossed him onto it and was looking at him from the foot of the bed with a hungry look in his eyes. Tim smirks at him as he wiggles on the mattress until his head was on the pillows at the top of the bed. Once situated he crooks a finger at Kon and gestures for him to come forward.

His boyfriend obeys the silent command and begins to climb on the bed, a predatory look taking over his expression. It heats Tim’s inside and he starts to get excited for what’s about to come, because when Kon has that look on his face, it means good things are going happen. 

When Kon reaches him, he straddles Tim at the hips and grabs his wrists before pinning them to the bed. He’s then bending down and kissing Tim once again. Tim allows him to take control, for once enjoying not having the responsibility to worry and take charge of everything. 

It’s not long until Kon moves away from his lips and starts to press kisses over his jaw and down his neck. Tim cranes his neck up to allow more room for Kon. He couldn’t help the moan that escapes him when Kon moves onto sucking his neck. 

Getting lost in the sensation that was Kon, Tim almost missed the shrilling sound of an alarm going off. He feels Kon freeze against him and as his own body tenses up at the sound. No matter what he was doing or where he was, he’s been conditioned to respond to that particular alarm going off.  

Next to his neck Conner groans, not the sexy kind of groaning but the annoyed and fed up kind of groan. “Please tell me that isn’t the red alert alarm going off. I don’t want to stop.” 

Tim lets out his own disappointed groan but starts squirming in Kon’s hold. The meta lets go of him and climbs off the bed as Tim does. Tim is quick to collect his cowl and cape on the back of the chair and his belt which was next to it. With fluent motions he suits himself up and immediately heads for the door knowing Kon was right behind him. 

Whoever was causing the alarm to go off better be worth the fight. Tim is seriously not happy about stopping his activity with Kon for this. The two of them hadn’t been together in almost three weeks, today was the first time they could do something together but as fates would have it of course it wasn’t going to be easy. 

As they run through the Tower’s corridors the shrill of the red alert alarm carried on going off. They need to find the source of it and shut it down. Turning a corner they bump into Bart who was buzzing with energy, “Bart what’s going on? What we dealing with?” Tim questions him as they carry on traveling through the Tower. 

Bart slows down enough for Tim to understand him, “Well, it’s nothing major but the situation is really strange. He’s asking for you.” 

Tim comes to an abrupt stop at hearing that, “Me? Why me? Who is it?” 

“It’s Slade.” 

Tim blinks at him, trying to understand if he heard right or not. After a few seconds he finally asks, “Where is he?” 

“In the common room. He told us that he isn’t there to fight he just wants some information from you.” 

“Right.” Tim says trying to get a grasp of the situation at hand. He looks at Bart, “Go and turn the alarms off then join us back in the common room. Kon let’s go.��� 

Bart speeds off without question and Kon flies over to him and picks him up. As they fly through the Tower the red alert alarms turn off meaning Bart’s done what’s been asked of him. Kon gets them to the common room in a matter of seconds. 

He puts Tim down on his feet and they walk in together to find Cassie standing defensively clutching her lasso. She was the only one in the room other than Slade who stood opposite her in full gear. 

Tim comes up beside Cassie and gets his bo staff out, “What do you want Slade?” 

Slade turns and looks at him for a moment before answering, “I want information. Where’s Nightwing?” 

Tim blinks at him for a moment. Of all the things Slade could have asked or demanded that was something Tim hadn’t even considered. The mercenary had broken into the Tower, purposely triggered off their red alert alarm all because he wanted to know where Dick was? Tim couldn’t actually understand the motives behind this action. 

“Why can’t you find him yourself?” 

He hears Slade let out an annoyed huff, “Because it’s taking too long. He’s gone underground and I need him now. So where is he?” 

Tim raises an eyebrow, because wow, Slade is actually being lazy and not bothering to find his brother on his own. He certainly is curious on why Slade would go through so much trouble to find Dick, but Tim figures that he should probably just stay out of it. It wasn’t his business and he’s already got enough on his plate so this does not need to be added to it. 

As for Dick’s whereabouts, well Tim doesn’t actually know. He hasn’t talked to the older man in weeks. 

“I don’t know.” He tells Slade. “I have no idea where Dick is, even if I did I wouldn’t tell you.” 

In one swift movement Slade has a gun pointed at his head. Tim works hard to not roll his eyes at the action. He isn’t fazed by the gun, it’s not the first time one’s been drawn on him and it won’t be the last. Next to him Cassie tenses and he feels Conner step up right next to him in a protective manner. Keeping his eyes on Slade Tim raises a hand at them both, a gesture telling them to step down. 

“Where is he Drake?”

“I don’t know.” He repeats. “I haven’t spoken to him. Now if you wouldn’t mind Slade but you can fuck off out of here. I am not in the mood for your shit tonight. I’ve just got back from a three week mission and you’ve disturbed my very promising night with my boyfriend by breaking into the Tower and triggering off the alarms. If you want Dick, go find him yourself. I am not a messenger.” 

After his rant there was complete silence as his words hang in the air. Even Slade seemed to be hesitant now which Tim would find amusing if he wasn’t pissed off. Tim crosses his arms over his chest and glares at the mercenary through the cowl, daring him to do something. 

Eventually Slade puts down the gun and stares at him, “Very well. I didn’t come here to fight. I’ll find him another way.” 

“Yeah, you do that.” 

With no more words Slade surprisingly disappears without any hassle. Once the assassin had gone his friends all turn to him wide eyed and mouths agape. “Dude, I can’t believe you just told Slade to fuck off and he actually listened.” 

Tim just grunts in acknowledgement and starts making his way out of the common room back to his own room. There’s no point in going back with Kon now, his whole mood has turned sour and there’s no way he’ll be able to relax again for the rest of the night. 

When he gets back to his room he gets his phone out and shoots Dick a message. The whole situation was just bizarre and Tim needed some information on what was actually going on. 

TD: Hey, haven’t spoken to you in a while but Slade just stopped by looking for you. What did you do?

To his surprise Dick actually responded in a really short amount of time. 

DG: What’s up little bro! And really? I haven’t done anything. What was he after?

TD: Not sure. He broke into Titan’s Tower and demanded I tell him where you were. Didn’t ask for details. Personally didn’t know where you are anyway. 

DG: He didn’t harm you did he? 

TD: No, just left me super confused. Any ideas on why he wants to see you? 

DG: Because I’m irresistible. Everyone wants to see me ;)

TD: Ugh as if. Seriously though. Where are you and why does he want you? 

DG: Got injured on patrol about 4 days ago been lying low at one of Jay’s apartments in Blud, probably why Slade hasn’t found me. No idea what he wants though. 

TD: You good? Do you want a hand in dealing with him?

DG: I’m fine Timmy, don’t worry about me. And na, I should be fine, once I’m on my feet I’ll go looking for him. Shouldn’t be anything major, once I find him I’ll let you know. 

TD: Thanks, just be careful. 

DG: Aw, you do care <3

TD: No I don’t. I hope you fall into a ditch and get eaten by a snake. 

DG: Wow Timmy. I’m really feeling the love. 

TD: Night Dick. 

DG: Night little bro! Have sweet dreams! 

Tim turns his phone off and chucks it onto his bed. Well at least he knows Dick is alive. As for Slade he’s sure that Dick will find out and relay what’s going on to him. 

Letting out a sigh Tim takes off his cowl, cape and belt and hangs them up in his wardrobe. He then moves over to the bed and takes a seat on the edge of the mattress. As he does so the door to his bedroom opens up to reveal Conner walking into the room. The meta closes the door behind him and stands looking at Tim. 

“You okay dude?” 

“Fine.”

There’s a pause between them before Conner was asking, “I guess you don’t want to carry on with what we were doing?” 

Tim shakes his head and lets out a soft laugh, “I really would like to but it wouldn’t be the same. The moods gone to be honest Kon. Slade’s appearance has just thrown me off.” 

Conner shrugs as an easy smile appears on his face, “It’s no problem. It’s still getting late though, fancy watching a film or playing some video games instead?” 

Tim shares Conner’s smile, “A movie would be good actually.” 

The meta walks over and places a kiss on Tim’s forehead before walking to the TV. Tim watches him as he sets up the DVD player. Maybe the night isn’t wasted after all, they may not be doing what they originally intended to do but at least it was something. Damn that stupid red alert alarm going off and ruining their night. 

[singingunderthecurtain]

DIAMOND (CEO AU Baekhyun Series) Part 6

Also on AFF

Diamond Mini Masterlist

Photo not mine, found it on Google.

Author: @julietsoddeye AU: CEO!Baekhyun Genre: Angst | Smut | Romance Pairing: Baekhyun x Lee Soojin (You/OC) Trigger Warning: Smut on future chapters. Mentions of car accident. Mentions of being blind. Baekhyun being an a-hole. Word Count: 1,957

Plot: After 10 years of exile to another country, you are finally back home and you were surprised to find out that you are engaged to the son of your father's long-time friend and business partner.

On this Chapter: You’re back in Seoul and you saw your sister again.

Diamond Mini Masterlist

It was definitely awkward for the rest of the vacation. You and Baekhyun completely just ignored each other and pretended as if you didn’t exist in each other's worlds. Your friends just winged it with your stubbornness and acted as if there wasn’t any silent strife with the both of you happening right in front of them.

You convinced Yanmei and Hisako to go back with you in Seoul. It was an easier decision for Yanmei since it’s summer vacation and it was the last year of her contract in the school she was working on. She was still thinking about if she wants to re-sign in that daycare or if she’s gonna focus on her specialty in SPED.

Hisako, on the other hand, needed more convincing since she was a lawyer, thankfully her firm allowed another month-long vacation since she never, ever takes breaks. And everything falls into place and her next hearing for a divorce she was working on won’t be until next month.

Of course, Jongdae was ecstatic when he found out that Yanmei will go back home with them. Sehun and Jongin said that this is the first time Jongdae is actually invested his time and effort with a girl. Usually, Jongdae is always seen with different women every day. They haven’t seen him this lovesick since getting his first puppy when they were younger.

You internally smirk thinking that Yanmei’s charm really got into Jongdae. Your plans are working really well for you.

“Holy fucking shit, I didn’t know you were this rich. Can you please adopt me?”

Yanmei’s jaw is on the floor as the three of you are walking along your mother’s garden on your father’s property. Hisako rolls her eyes and smiled at what Yanmei said, touching the flowers near her.

“You’re unadoptable, bitch. You’re too old now,”

You snickered and Yanmei faked a disappointed frown.

“Dammit!”

Yanmei chuckles as she nudges you suddenly pointing at something from afar.

“Who is that?”

You looked to where she was pointing at and you saw your sister, Sunmi, with an unknown guy guiding her as they stroll along the property too.

“Shit, that’s my sister.”

“T–the blind one?”

Hisako asks with worry on her face.

“Yes.”

You swallow the lump that forms in your throat and immediately your anxiety heightened. Your breathing suddenly became erratic and you cannot help but squat on the grass, holding on to Yanmei’s ankle for support.

“Oh my gosh Sooj, breathe.”

Hisako instantly drops on the grass beside you, hugging and rubbing your back for comfort.

“Sooj, are you okay. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!”

Yanmei panics.

“Of course she’s not okay! Stand her up, let’s take her inside.”

The last thing you remembered was Yanmei’s panic-stricken face while you’re being carried up to your room.

~~~

You wake up to Yanmei pacing around your room as Jongdae follows her around like a lost puppy and Hisako, Baekhyun and Chanyeol sitting on the couch in your bedroom. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were swiping through their phones while Hisako follows Yanmei and Jongdae’s pacing around with her eyes. You can feel the panic in your best friends’ aura.

“She’s awake!”

You heard Mia announce and every single soul’s neck in your bedroom craned to your direction. Yanmei and Hisako urgently ran to your side as they bombard you with questions.

“Are you okay?”

“Do you feel better now?

“How do you feel?”

“Do you need water?”

“How about food?”

You giggle as you prop yourself up with both your arms.

“Guys, I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.

“Do you need me to run you a bath or something?

“Yanmei offers silently.

“Really, you don’t need to do this. I’m fine.”

You pretended to shoo them away as you sat up, your feet dangling from your bed.

“I guess you three are here to witness my death?”

You joked and Chanyeol actually laughed. Baekhyun scoffs and he returns his gaze on his phone. You and the boys got pretty close because of the vacation and as much as you hate to admit it, your cousin, Sehun, is actually a pretty okay person after all. He finally matured by five percent since you last saw him 10 years ago.

“I was actually ready to take a snap, but I guess it won’t happen soon.”

Chanyeol jokes back and sticks his tongue out to you.

“Wait, what happened? How did I get here?”

You ask no one in particular and Baekhyun suddenly stood up from his sitting position.

“I’m leaving now.”

He announces.

“No one’s stopping you. Why are you even here anyway?”

Baekhyun just rolls his eyes with another scoff. He opens your bedroom door and flashes you a snarl before closing the door again with a loud bang.

“Babe, he’s the one who carried you up to your room.”

Hisako said timidly.

“Ugh, so annoying.”

“Sorry ‘bout that. He’s got a tough time today. His father kind of took over for a while and let him have a few more weeks of vacation.”

Jongdae explains.

“How is resting for a few more weeks tough?”

“Well… He… He was kinda mandated to spend those few weeks with you. If he didn’t go spend even a second with you, Chairman Byun will take his apartment from him and Baekster will be forced to kind of move back in their house.”

Jongdae hesitated for a while but spills what he knows anyway.

“Ahh, understandable. But he kinda deserves it hah.”

You smirked at the thought of pissing him off without you even doing anything.

“Be nice to him Soojin, he’s trying. Give him a chance.”

Chanyeol gave you a sad smile.

“Well, he should’ve been nice to me in the first place. Did you even know what he said to me the morning after our engagement was announced?”

You snarled at the reminder of what Baekhyun said to you before.

“Yeah. He told us. He never hides anything from us, Soojin. We even know that you two made out on the beach and you pushed him away.”

Chanyeol snickered slightly and Jongdae hissed as if he scraped his knees on the pavement.

“What the hell?!?!? He–He said I pushed him away?”

“The fuck, and you didn’t even tell us you kissed?”

Yanmei suddenly bursts and she pouts like a disappointed child.

“And you didn’t even tell me!”

She pouts some more as she slightly pushes Jongdae away. Jongdae pouts back and attempted to hug her back in his arms but Yanmei continues to play impassively.

“You know I don’t kiss and tell! Unlike Byun Baekhyun, apparently.”

You huff as you stump your foot on your carpeted floor and fold your arms against your chest.

~~~

The next day you woke up to a quiet house. Well, it’s always been quiet ever since you were young because your father is always away and your mother does a lot of extra activities your father cannot always attend to like philanthropy ventures and other humanitarian endeavors. But today it’s bizarrely quiet, the house helpers aren’t even cleaning today because they seem to clean daily. Maybe they were done for this week. The only sound you can hear is your own footstep as you pace about the mansion.

You checked and Mia, Hisako, and Yanmei are still sleeping as you all went home at 5 this morning. You were out and about the city and the three of them getting too drunk to even function. Mia never wakes up late, she’s always awake before you but today is different.

As you walk along to the pantry area, you saw your mother’s personal servant unloading a bunch of groceries and stocking them on the shelves in the pantry the same size as your old apartment back in America. The pantry wasn’t this big back then.

“Good morning.”

You greeted silently so you won’t scare her or anything.

“Good morning, young miss. It’s almost lunchtime, do you want to eat anything?”

She asks politely with a warm smile on her face.

“Oh, uh I’m gonna wait for my friends to wake up.”

You were gonna say some more but you were interrupted by the pantry door opening. The guy you recognized who was helping Sunmi walk from yesterday suddenly froze with Baekhyun tailing behind him. Baekhyun’s face suddenly soured up a little bit when he saw you.

“Hello.”

The guy smiled suddenly, his right cheek creating a very deep dimple. It was so deep you’re sure it can collect a gallon of water.

“Uhm… Hello.”

“I believe we haven’t been introduced yet. I’m Yixing.”

Mr. Dimple, Yixing, said as he walks up near you with his arms outstretched. Baekhyun still following close behind him.

“Soojin.”

You introduce yourself and took his hand for a shake.

“I know.”

He smiled again.

“You’re the older sister of Sun–”

Before Yixing can even mention Sunmi’s name, Baekhyun tapped his shoulder and interrupted him.

“I’m hungry, Hyung~”

Baekhyun whines. This is not the first time you’ve seen him act this way, he’s pretty charming when it comes to his friends and especially to your mother. But he completely changes when you’re alone together. It’s like his real personality comes out only with you. Ugh.

“Eyyy, I was talking to your fiance, how can you interrupt like that.”

Yixing scolds Baekhyun lightheartedly.

“Mimi’s hungry too, let’s not make her wait. Ahjumma, is the food ready?”

Baekhyun faces your mother’s personal and the head housemaid with a smile on his face as he asks.

“Yes, young master Byun. They are preparing to serve it.”

“Ahjumma, please add another plate so Soojin can join us.”

Yixing added.

“I will inform the servers, young master Zhang.”

The Ahjumma excuses herself and exits the pantry door.

“You should join us for lunch. I’m sure Mimi misses you a lot.”

Mimi? You guess that’s what they call Sunmi nowadays. You weren’t really prepared to face Sunmi just yet, especially since the little incident yesterday. But as if you were hypnotized, you just nod your head in agreement. Yixing smiles as he motioned for you to follow them to the direction of the garden.

Sunmi was all smiles as she reads a braille version of To Kill A Mockingbird. She still looks very pretty. She’s always been the prettiest in the family and obviously the favorite of your father since she’s the youngest child. Sunmi was the Princess, Soojung was the resident sporty tomboy and you? You’re the plain and mature eonni.

Everyone around you says otherwise, but you believe that you’re just plain-looking among the three of you. As a young kid, you always opted for the simple clothes so that your younger sisters wouldn’t cry when you take the much prettier clothes. You’ve always been affectionate and selfless towards other people, especially your siblings. Yet your kindness was repaid with a whopping banishment.

“Hey Mimi, guess who’s here?”

Yixing beams when we all reached the table Sunmi was seated at.

“Who?”

Sunmi immediately lights up when she heard Yixing’s voice.

“Your sister.”

“Wait, which one.”

Sunmi closes her book slowly.

“Sunmi how are you?”

You suddenly, but slightly speaks up out flustered when Yixing touched the small of your back without a warning and pushes you lightly near Sunmi.

“S–Soojin eonni?”

A/N: WOOOOOOH FINALLY, AN UPDATE!!!

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Chapter 1; Lagos

Alrighty guys and here is where we begin the plotline for Captain America: Civil War. Hope you guys enjoy it now in light of all that’s happened here in America I would like to take this time to warn my fellow America readers of Crossbone’s suicide part towards the end of the story (if you guys have seen the movie you’ll know what I mean) so warning of violence, Sam’s sassy back-talk and swearing mainly with the B word. Other than that no other warnings, enjoy my lovelies :)

__________________________________________________

For the past 6 months Steve, Sam, Nat, Wanda and I have been on the trail for one of the deadliest terrorists and former STRIKE commander for HYDRA Brock Rumlow who now calls himself Crossbones.  

Recently we have traced his foul scent to Lagos, Nigeria so our plan had to be as low-key as possible and try to minimize civilian casualties. 

Currently Wanda and Nat were undercover in a small café sitting just a table apart from each other.  As Wanda stirred her sugar into her coffee she heard in her earpiece Steve’s voice.

‘Alright, what do you see?’

“Standard beat cops, small station, Quiet Street. It’s a good target”.  Just across the café stood the police station with a few cop cars parked in front of it. Up in the hotel room, Steve Rogers peeked out from behind the curtain in his Captain America uniform with his shield attached to his back as he said.

“There’s an ATM on the south corner which means,”

“Cameras” I finished for him.  I was up on the rooftop with Sam scouting out the area alongside him.

“Both cross streets are one-way”.

“So compromised escape routes” stated Wanda.

“Which means our guy doesn’t care about being seen, he isn’t afraid to make a mess on the way out. You see that Range Rover over halfway up the block?”

“You mean the red one? It’s cute” stated Wanda.

“It’s also bulletproof, which means private security, which means more guns, which means more headaches for somebody probably us”. Stated Natasha as she picked up her coffee and took a sip of it.

“You guys know I can move things with my mind right?” stated Wanda.

“And my howls can easily stop anything from coming right at us” I mocked in the same tone Wanda used.

“Looking over your shoulder needs to become second nature” said Natasha as both she and Wanda glanced at each other. 

Sam walked towards me up on the ledge of the roof and said to Natasha through his earpiece.

“Anybody ever tell you you’re a little paranoid?”

‘Not to my face. Why? You hear something?’

‘Eyes on target folks. This is the best lead we’ve had on Rumlow in six months I don’t wanna lose him’.  Sam scoffed and said.

“If he sees us coming, that won’t be a problem, he kinda hates us”. Hanging out with both Steve and Sam on our early morning runs, they’ve told me the story of what happened in DC and how they literally dropped a building right on Rumlow, unfortunately he survived and was fixed up by medics and ever since his release, he’s been doing rouge terrorists deals.

Suddenly my ears caught the sound of honking and people shouting out rude comments.  I turned and saw a large garbage truck starting to go through a tight road filled with cars and people.

‘Sam, (y/n) you both see that garbage truck? Tag it’. Steve said to us.

“You sure you don’t wanna sit this one out She-wolf?” Sam said to me as he held his arm out and pressed some buttons ready to activate his little buddy Redwing.

“Please. I’ll tag it before your little pigeon gets there” I scoffed out. Then at the same time as Redwing flew in the air, I leaped off the building towards another rooftop. 

Thanks to my wolf enhanced agility, now in my human form I can easily leap over from one building to the next, scale up a building by leaping from wall to wall, and run about as fast as I can run as a wolf. 

I kept my eyes on Redwing hoping that this time I can finally rub it in Sam’s face that a wolf can beat a bird.

As we both got closer, I leaped down from the rooftop into an abandoned street alleyway and ran up towards the corner of the building and sniffed the air.

“Ugh! Well besides whatever else stinks up the air, plus the trash—I smell—powder-burns, the driver or someone in there has a gun”.

‘She’s right. Plus that truck’s loaded for max weight. And the driver’s armed just like She-wolf said’. Sam’s voice said in my ear. 

“It’s a battering ram” Natasha and I muttered together.

‘Go now!’ Steve’s voice rang out.

‘Why?’ asked Wanda.

‘He’s not hitting the police’. Said Steve.  We then all moved from our cover position knowing that now we’d have to improvise on the fly since our prediction of them hitting the police station was a misfire. 

The truck soon plowed itself through the secured gates of the Institute for Infectious Diseases.  Soon more trucks came up and mercs in full combat gear came out from the back and started open firing at anyone in sight.  Two guys then shot from their guns gas cans which spread green gas from inside the building causing everyone to pass out.

That’s where I came in, I leaped from the rooftop and my claws extended outward and I sliced one of the shooters down.  Another one started firing at me but I leaped up and as soon as I landed next to him he went down like a house of cards.

“(Y/n)!” I heard Wanda call out to me.  Using her improved telekinesis, she managed to immobile the merc and she tossed him to me. I leaped up and spinned roundhouse kicked him and landed skillfully on my feet.

“Four. Nice job She-wolf” Sam stated as he landed beside me. I smirked at him then using his pet Redwing he scanned the building and stated. “Rumlow’s on the third floor”

“Wanda, just like we practiced” said Steve as he came up to us.

“What about the gas?”

“You and (y/n) get is out”. She then used her powers to lift Steve up gracefully into the institute.  Wanda then turned to me and she said.

“You ready Wolfie?”

“Let’s do it Mama Bear, Sam mind giving us some cover?”

“On it!” Sam stood in front of us and his carbon-fibered wings created a shield for Wanda and me.  Using her powers to first draw out the smoke, then once I had the all clear, I used my resonance howl to send the smoke into the air.  

During Ultron, I didn’t know that I could do my resonance howl while in human form, but while training with the Avengers I was able to do it without causing so much destruction.

‘Rumlow has a biological weapon’ Steve’s voice said through our comms.

‘I’m on it!’ Natasha said.  Suddenly I heard tires screeching and an engine rev. ‘Sam. (Y/n), he’s in an AFV heading north’ Steve’s voice groaned.

“We’re up She-wolf, you wanna lift?” asked Sam.

“No thanks Sam, I’m capable of catching up to them, I once stopped an AFV when I was just 11 years old”.  Sam then took off flying and I phased into my wolf form but first looked to Wanda and she stared deeply into my golden wolf eyes and she said.

“I’ll meet you there with Natasha, go track them down Wolfie” I then let out a proud snarl then charged down the street and soon caught up with the AFV just to see it plowing through a small market area.

The men inside soon got out and split up and it was at that moment I saw Sam landing on top of a makeshift rooftop of one of the marketers. 

“I’ve got four, they’re splitting up”. I ran through the market then quickly changed back into my human form when I knew I could no longer fit through the crowd as a wolf and snarled as my eyes began to change back.

“I’ve got the two on the left!”  I ran as fast as I could through the crowd, my eyes locked dead on the two men just ahead of me.

‘He doesn’t have it. I’m empty!’ Sam stated through the comms. It was then I knew I had to stop these guys, one of them had it and if he were to let it lose, a whole bunch of people are going to die.

“Get out of the way! Move! Move! Move!” I barked at the people as I jumped over bikes, stacks of merchandise, benches and even people until finally I took a leap over a cart and tackled the big guy down to the ground.  Thanks to Natasha and some of the other female agents, I was able to fight almost as good if not slightly better than them.

The big guy tried to fire his gun but I pushed his hand aside and disarmed him and swung my fist across his jaw.  I then punched him in the chest over 7 times before kneeing him hard in the ribs and flipping him over.

My ears then picked up the sound of his buddy behind me cocking his gun, he fire but I leaped into the air in a backflip before landing on top of his shoulders.  I used my legs to squeeze his neck and I slammed my fists down on his head before using my weight to flip him and tossed him to the ground. Then using his arm like a beam, I flipped and kicked the big guy in the chest before bringing the smaller guy up.

I then punched him right in the nose twice before going under his leg and bringing it out from underneath him. Before he could even get up I punched him yet again and then finally reached for a gun next to us but as I aimed it at him, he had a gun pointed at me.  The two of us having a stare down

.“Drop it. Or I drop this” said the big guy.  I turned my eyes towards him briefly to see he had the biological weapon in his hand.  I growled softly before he cried out again. “Drop it!”

“He’ll do it!” His buddy screamed out.  Just before I could even make a decision, the big guy soon came down as something had shot him.   

I then made my move as my fangs came out and I killed the smaller guy then reached out with my hand and grabbed the tube just barely before it touched the ground.

I stood up to see Redwing levitating right next to me, I moved my hair out of my eyes and said.

“Payload secure. Thanks Sam”.

‘Don’t thank me’ he mocked.  I rolled my eyes and said.

“I’m not thanking your pigeon”.

‘Aww come on She-wolf you wound me’.

“I’m gonna take my pride and still not thank him”.

‘Okay then no treats for you for a week’. I rolled my eyes but then my ears soon heard the sound of screaming and I smelled the air. Oh god—I held out the tube for Redwing which he opened up a compartment for me to put it safely in and I took off running.  I just hope I’m not too late. 

When I reached the open area of the market, I saw Steve fighting with Rumlow, I smelled the scent again and it was stronger than before.  I growled then just before Rumlow could land another punch to him, I tackled him in my wolf form and used my fangs to crush and disarm his land weaponry arm before pining him down by the head with my huge paw, snarling in his face. 

“So, I’m gonna assume you’re the She-bitch everyone’s been talking about back home”. At that insult I snarled louder and angrier.

“(Y/n) down!” Steve said in a commanding voice. I turned to him glaring at him but knowing that he was the Alpha I couldn’t go against his word.  I released Rumlow and phased back into my human form as Rumlow stood up on his knees and took off his helmet revealing his deformed face.  Steve walked up to him and gripped him by the vest jostling him making him exclaim for a brief second before saying.

“I think I look pretty good, all things considered. And I see you managed to teach the stubborn bitch how to sit” Oh I swear if he calls me bitch one more time I’ll do more to him than that building did, and no amount of doctors will be able to repair his smug face.

“Who’s your buyer?” demanded Steve.

“You know he knew you. Your pal, your buddy, your Bucky”. Rumlow sneered.  Steve’s aura went from demanding to shock like a snap. 

“What did you say?”

“He remembered you. I was there, he got all weepy about it. Till they put his brain back in a blender. He wanted you to know something. He said to me…‘please tell Rogers. When you gotta go, you gotta go’ and you’re coming with me”. Distracted by Steve’s pain I forgot to mention what it was that I had smelled earlier.

“Steve HE’S GOTTA BOMB!!” I tackled Steve out of the way and in the midst of blowing himself up, we saw red mystic force holding it back, Steve and I both turned to see Wanda struggling to hold it.  She then let out a yell as Rumlow soon went flying up but it wasn’t enough. 

The building right next to us soon blew up. 

People ran screaming in fear, the smell of death filled the air at least for me and Steve, Wanda and I just stood there in absolute shock.

“Oh my—Sam…we need—fire and rescue, on the Southside of the building. Come on (y/n) we gotta get up there”. As Steve took off I turned to Mama Bear who only looked at what she had just done in absolute horror, shock and most of all regret.

[thetakenpokemon]

Interlude - Return of the Strike Team

[PoV: Jezebel]

Although word spreads quickly within the GoT HQ, being the leader of Purging Light as well as a high-standing member gives me the benefit of learning things far faster than that of others.

Specifically the return of the Strike Team and the other teams that worked with them in the recent attack on a HWDP facility.

I was in my room working on some overdue paperwork before receiving a call from Colossus on my terminal, telling me to report to the ‘Meeting Hall’ immediately.

And so I dropped what I was doing and began making my way over, since if he’s calling for my presence immediately...then it must be very important.

...

Taking a quiet breath I push the door opens of the Meeting Hall, which is a large room containing a giant round table. Sitting at the table I immediately spy Colossus, however there are others accompanying him.

The Strike Team.

The first one that catches my eye at the table is Samantha, also known as Snowstorm. She’s a hybrid between a Salazzle, Aurorus, and Tyrantrum. Her body looks dinosaur in appearance, similar to that of a raptor. Her form is covered in shiny blue scales, her hands and feet ending in sharp claws and talons. On her back is a massive fin that glows with bright colors while her predatory blue eyes watch me as I enter the room.

The second is Godfrey, who goes by the alias of Paladin. Godfrey is a hybrid between that of a Bisharp, Rapidash, and Escavalier. The Bisharp and Rapidash genes have granted him the body that of an armored centaur, the style of said armor resembling that of a knight. The Escavalier genes however show itself by the gray color of his armor, the sharp lance ending on his left arm, and the metal plume poking out from his helmeted head.

The third member of the Strike Team is Jarvis, known for the name of Trojan in the field. He is a very special case of a hybrid, being a cross between a Porygon-Z and Rotom. What makes Jarvis unique is that his body is actually made of pure energy, due to this case he inhabits a mechanical body built in the likeness of a Porygon-Z, constructed by the HWDP themself before his eventual breakout. His frame is built of a bright white metal, his floating head and arms connected by tethers of blue energy. His head swivels at my direction, the two bright blue eyes of light locking onto my form.

And lastly, is the leader of the Strike Team.

Chimera.

Sitting right next to Colossus is his humanoid frame, his features just barely concealed by a blue cloak that covers his entire body. Between them all, he’s the most careful in keeping his appearance hidden. Although many of us already know what he really is, he still tends to keep himself covered out of pure habit.

Out of them all, they share one giant thing in common. They’re all artificial hybrids made by the HWDP, each of them considered elite in their capabilities and thus leading the attacks on the the facilities of the organization.

“Greetings Jezebel, it is very good to meet again.” Godfrey speaks out first, the centaur tapping his chest with the knuckles of his right hand in greeting.

I nod my head, my lips widening into a small smile. “To you as well, Godfrey.” I respond back before turning my head to the rest. “And the rest of you as well.”

“I see you haven’t changed your hair whatsoever.” Samantha muses playfully, picking at her large fangs with a claw. “If I had hair, I would most definitely be trying out different styles.” She rolls her reptilian eyes. “But if you want to be boring by dressing it in only one way, I won’t judge you.”

I give the reptile an amused look, however Jarvis cuts me off before I could prepare a witty retort.

“Could we perhaps hold the pleasantries for after the meeting?” He asks with a mild annoyed tone, the speakers built within him giving an almost computerized voice.

“Yes, my apologies.” I nod before taking a seat next to Chimera, said individual gives me a small nod of his own in greetings before turning his focus back to the table.

“Now that we’re all here...” Colossus says before gesturing to Chimera. “Even though you’ve already told me a good deal of it, would you care to repeat it for Jezebel?”

“Very well.” The cloaked hybrid responds, his voice sounding...off, as if there’s something more to it. Through the sleeves of his cloak I see his orange and blue hands clasp each other. “The result of the strike mission was an outstanding success, we infiltrated the facility and managed to take it down with only non-life threatening injuries sustained by our members.” Through the hood I see his glowing yellow eyes look at me. “Sadly however they’ve transported most of the hybrids out of the facility, most likely due to them suspecting us to target them. The few that remained were either not fully developed or wild and uncontrollable, so we put them down.”

I feel a frown form on my lips at this, but in the end I didn’t question their methods since I’m in no place to question them. With a gesture of my hand I urge him to continue.

However to my surprise, Chimera instead nods at Jarvis to take over.

“The main reason on why we’ve brought you here is to inform you of our discoveries.” The Porygon-Z tells me. “As always they’ve wiped their computers when we began the assault, making it impossible to retrieve any data on their experiments or whereabouts of other facilities.” He rests his metal hands onto the table, the digits tapping the metallic surface of the furniture. “However there was an error on their part, for on the body of one of their security staff we found a USB drive.”

Now this piqued my interest even more. “What did it contain?” I ask eagerly.

“Sadly not much.” Jarvis sighs. “However it did contain a very vital piece of information.” The glow in his eyes intensifies for a brief second. “Inside it was a report of a recent occurrence in one of their facilities, specifically of how several hybrids managed to break themselves out.”

I feel my jaw drop. “Break...themselves out?” I repeat slowly. “I thought their security measures prevented such a thing from ever occurring.”

Jarvis’ head bobs up and down. “That’s what we also believed, however the hybrids were very smart and...quite powerful. They waited for the right moment to break out, working together to fight through the security before eventually escaping.”

“So we have rogue hybrids out there?” I voice out, my tone filling with worry.

“Yes.” Chimera speaks up, his clasped hands gripping each other a bit more tightly. “The report left out on the specific details of what these hybrids are, but the information tells us that they were purposed to be soldiers. So they’re not some random experiment to see what works together.” He shakes his hooded head. “No, their genes were specifically chosen and spliced together in order to make them into what they are.”

That’s...definitely not good.

“And they’ve killed several of the Humans in those facilities in order to escape.” Jarvis adds. “To have killed them so efficiently when they’re armed with guns, it shows that they are very dangerous.” His blue eyes dim somewhat. “We have no idea on what their motivations are, but since they’ve broken themselves out and most likely have had no contact with civilization after their transformation...they will most likely be a great threat to the public.”

With my staff resting by my side I feel my grip tighten around it. “So with these hybrids out and about, we need to make it our priority to find them and hunt them down.” I say grimly, however a question comes to my mind. “How...do you intend to deal with them?”

"It depends.” Colossus chimes, his expression neutral. “To see that they’ve managed to free themselves without outside assistance, they are definitely not Feral Pokemon by far and perhaps could be reasoned with. So if we can manage to convince them to come quietly or incapacitate them, then we could try to bring them back here and try to rehabilitate them.”

With the way he’s spoken, there’s still more to the sentence.

“But if they’ve proven to be too much of a threat to everyone around them, then they will be killed instead.” I finish.

“Yes.” Colossus sighs, rubbing the side of his metal face with a hand. “It’s the last thing we want to do, but if they show any signs of being unable to be helped...then we’ll have no other choice but to remove them through extensive means.”

“However let us hope that it doesn’t come to that!” Godfrey says passionately, stomping the floor with one of his metal hooves. “If my brothers and sisters can be rescued, then we must take the chance.”

“I hear you.” Samantha nods in agreement. “The more victims of that hellhole we can save the better” She lets out an angry huff, causing a faint stream of mist to escape from her nostrils and cause frost to form on the surface of the table.

“However that requires us to locate them first.” Jarvis deadpans. “We’ve sent out word to Penumbra to inform Night Watchers to keep an eye out for any Hybrid activity in the meanwhile.”

“However if you do locate them, who do you intend to send?” I ask, turning my attention back to Colossus. “Are they dangerous enough to require a Night Warden team?”

The Aggron shakes his head. “Although they’re powerful hybrids, they’re definitely not on a level that requires a Night Warden team’s interference. Instead we’ll be sending some of the stronger Night Hunter teams.”

I blink once at this, then twice.

Night Hunters...? Then why...

“If the Night Wardens won’t be needed, then why isn’t Kaiser in this meeting?” I point out, feeling very confused. “And why did you call me?”

Samantha couldn’t help but laugh at this, increasing my confusion tenfold. “It’s because the Dragon drunk herself into a stupor!”

“Drunk herself into a stupor?” I repeat, my expression quickly shifting to a deadpan look as I already feeling a headache coming on. “I’m afraid to ask this, but...how and why?”

Kaiser is a very big Garchomp, because of this she should be able to hold her liquor incredibly well. But what really boggles my mind is why the leader of the Night Hunter branch would be so irresponsible.

Jarvis points a thumb at Colossus, his eyes dimming even more. “This guy is responsible for it.”

The Aggron raises his hands in defense. “Hey now! Even though we have our responsibilities, we’re allowed time to enjoy ourselves!” He defends himself. “Not to mention we had a bet on how much she could drink before she passed out.”

“Really now? Did you win this bet?” Godfrey asks, a wide grin on his face.

“Indeed I did!” The Aggron laughs. “When she wakes up she’'s definitely not gonna be in a very pleasant mood.”

I suppress the urge to facepalm. “You still didn’t answer the question as to why I’m here.” I grumble.

“To put it simply, you’ll be taking over for her until she’s fit to work again.” Colossus nods at me. “She won’t be in a working state for a little while since she did drink a very large amount.” He couldn’t help but snicker. “However even though she can hold her own, recovering from a hangover is a completely different story. It’ll take her a few days to properly recover from that fiasco.”

...

...

...

Wait...

...

I’m taking over for Kaiser.

...

So I’m in charge of the Night Hunter branch now?

...

...

...

You’ve got to be kidding me...

[seenashwrite]

The Midwife: Part Two

Status: Complete (Part 2 of 4) Word Count: 2.4K Category: Mini-series; Behind-the-scenes canon compliant; Mystery; Historical; Teamwork; On-the-hunt   Rating: Teen & Up Character(s): Various O.C.s; References to familiar people/places Pairing(s): N/A Warnings: None Author’s Note: post-story Overall Summary: In the mid-1950s, a member of the New York City chapter of the Men of Letters is sent to the United Kingdom to assist with what appears to be another stack of cold case dead-ends, when he suddenly finds himself questioning one of his closest-held convictions.

         *~* The Midwife : Master Post *~*

. 

She was already sipping and though the sugar cubes in my teacup had long dissolved, I was still watching the dark orange liquid swirl around my spoon. The soft clink of her cup coming to rest on its saucer prompted me to stop. I cleared my throat to try and clear my head, setting the spoon aside, then raising my eyes.

"Try it,” she said. “Make sure you like it. We'll whip up a different kind if not."

"I'm sure it will be fine." I lifted my cup and drank to prove it to her, forced a small smile as I swallowed. I was a coffee person. I was not going to let my hostess know.

"I thought I'd begin with imparting information. You and your colleague have gotten many things..."

"Wrong?"

"Twisted."

"Ah."

"The professor is not elusive due to assistance by a coven. Not by what I'd call magic."

"What would you call it?"

She rotated the teacup slowly between her hands, eyes not leaving mine as she replied. “I would call it ingenuity.”

"And her daughter?"

"The girl is long dead. The completely ordinary girl. Your second incorrect assumption."

"But Sunder had been with angels, we---"

"I cannot speak to the professor's personal life. I can only say she was in the company of a Seraphim before she left."

"But how can you be certain that they weren't.... weren't involved for longer, that perhaps---"

The borderline glare cut me off well before the cold tone. “This is your concern - knowing if they were involved?” She uttered a short tsk, gave me a slow shake of the head as she once more lifted her teacup, but she paused to say one last thing before drinking.

“Humans find such fascinating ways to waste their time.”

EARLIER THAT DAY

There were only two stops for our assignment. We came away from Dartmoor with nothing but ruined suit pants and shoes. Burt was annoyingly optimistic the entire time, while I was beginning to feel something akin to despair.

“Chin up!"

“Shut up.”

Our conversations had definitely devolved.

The present locale was more of a straight shot back to London, so that was something positive, likely getting us back expediently once we were done. However, the area of our forthcoming search was larger than that at Dartmoor. Much larger. 

A handful of local teenagers there were easily paid off - and they sold themselves short, should've charged a higher fee - to get us going in the right direction. They'd been monkeying around out in the moors since they were children, to their parents' chagrin, I'm sure.

Here, in Sedgemoor, it was another story - we weren't going to be getting much assistance in terms of a guide. The locals were beyond wary to speak with us, and I was thankful more than ever for Burt's ability to slip into a full accent and conversational slang because I didn't know how much more of a wild goose chase through peaty sludge I could stand. Had I been alone, their standoffishness would've resulted in a reaction from me that could've cost me my career. Quagmire, while apt, didn't quite cover it.

A few willing - slightly drunken - souls at the inn's pub gave us options for ideal places to kick off our trek. We were smarter now, replacing our typical garb with sensible slacks and boots, though Burt had adopted a more safari look than my own, complete with khaki Bermuda shorts and a hat that would’ve made Hemingway proud. The bright white knee socks made me cringe.  

I'd taken on the Sherpa role and my own personal, upright yak was bearing the burden of a large backpack filled with our testing gear and water and emergency supplies. It was good for him, he needed the physical exercise. As for mental exercise, I dearly wished for a scaling-back; he'd already started in on a new notebook back in Dartmoor, jotting almost constantly now, page after page filled with thoughts I didn't have the heart to discourage.

My partner-in-chaos had somehow convinced himself Nephilim were hiding in the moors.

We'd gotten off the train and to the inn later than I'd have liked the night prior, and despite downing four pints of stout brew while Burt worked his charms, I'd tossed and turned the entirety of the few hours we'd had to rest. Burt talked almost the entire time on the train, talked the ears off the people in the pub, talked in his sleep. And he showed no signs of stopping.

“Think about it, Jacky - we don't know how angels communicate, or if they can recognize each other on sight, at least, down here,” Burt was saying as we slogged along, mid-afternoon now, having set out at just past the crack of dawn.

I kept quiet. Down here. As if heavenly residents were above us.

“Can they possess any ol' body, like demons? Do they monitor the ones on earth somehow, with some sort of---"

"Concentrate," I interrupted him, extending a hand out to help get him over one of the less death-defying portions of a rhyne.

Once he was across and distracted with catching his breath, I pulled out the compass to check how we were faring.

"Not much further," I told him. "Ready?"

"Because what I keep going back to, is - are they keeping track of Nephilim? Are they even aware of exactly how many there are?" Burt went on, not acknowledging me.

I sighed as I put the compass back in my pocket, then kept walking, my pace keeping me several yards in front of him.

"You'd think so, you'd think they'd want to keep those powers under control. Wouldn't you? Jack? Wouldn't you think?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. The headache coming on was long overdue. I was desperately trying to keep my tone in check. "You mean God? That's what you mean, specifically - God himself or angels acting upon his orders, right?"

"Right."

"Then Burt, if I were God or a mighty archangel, and my minions were procreating against my wishes, no - I would not be keeping some sort of school attendance or sporting roster. I would snap my fingers and blow the disobedient to bits, but not before I did the same with their offspring."

I was scanning the moderate upwards slope we were coming upon that was absolutely blanketed in thick fog, wondering how our small flashlights were supposed to help us navigate through it, when I noticed the absence of sucking and sloshing behind me. I stopped and turned. Burt was standing stock still - and sinking slightly - staring at me with a dropped jaw. Then he made the sign of the cross, who could guess why, causing me to roll my eyes and huff.

"They would be God's children as much as the angels," Burt said softly.

Now my jaw dropped. "Did we read the same Old Testament growing up? I know you're a good Catholic boy and I was raised as Protestant as it gets, but I'm pretty sure the both of us, and a slew of other faiths, are square with the idea that God is vengeful---"

"Can be vengeful---"

"---no, he IS vengeful, and he doesn't tolerate disobedience. Not from any of us, angels included, or are you also forgetting the Morning Star's boot in the ass?"

We stared at each other for more than a few heavy moments, the only sound a fierce, whipping spurt of wind.

"They would be considered abominations," I finally said. "Pick a sacred text. Hell, it's even what the Apocrypha says. It's what our experts say. Why are you acting like it's the first time you... Damn it, Burt!"

"Those translations are debated!"

"You know, you're right - maybe they are just giants. Hey, think the Moles consider this drowned mess a leftover from the mother of all floods? We'll play archaeologists, carry back some oak-sized bones on the plane? No, wait - maybe we should be looking for a beanstalk!"

Burt frowned. "What if they're just fallen? What if they just need... deserve... some grace?"

"Do you not understand the concept of 'abomination'?"

"That's not what Sunder concluded."

"And what the hell do you know about Sunder? What do I really know about Sunder? She destroyed most of her work when she ran off---"

"Now who's throwing out wild theories?"

"It's not wild, it was in the original case reports---"

"So now we're trusting the Moles when they're saying nothing beyond what we saw was recovered, Jack? The very ones that were trying to force her into joining up? Threatening her daughter if she didn't?"

I narrowed my eyes. "They're real pieces of work, you know I'd be the first to say it. But there was nothing in the things we've seen that showed they were anything other than a bunch of chafed asses after a woman - who, by the way, was ten times smarter than their best lore gurus - had the gall to reject their precious invitation."

Minutes passed as Burt seemed to be involved in an internal debate with himself regarding what he was about to say in response.

"Have something to share?" I snapped.

"I know they did it because I asked Father... and two of Mother's older brothers."

I was floored. That Burt had asked, and that they had apparently given him answers, was a hefty breach of our protocols. Mixing family and Men of Letters business - even in legacies, even regarding business long gone stale - was a serious violation. For more than just him.

Burt could have been banned, any other active members of his family banned, and any living retirees would face a lengthy investigation, the punishment for any guilt unearthed, well... I chose not to think on it long. Instead I turned away and kept trudging towards the slope.

"They weren't directly involved," Burt said, and I heard him trying to pick up his pace to catch up with me. "But they saw things, heard others talking. And I believe them."

"You believe rumors."

He was undeterred. And he spilled his guts, every drop of what his family had relayed. How the Moles assigned to recruit Sunder took advantage of the fact that she'd been widowed. How they wanted to make her believe they could have her daughter taken away. That the Men of Letters were influential enough to make authorities think she was more than just an academic, that her recent work showed she was insane, unfit to care for a child.

"So how is that anything other than a threat?"

I stopped and turned again, almost colliding with Burt. "Are you -- are you actually trying to say you think the Moles tried to make her run? Just so they could hunt her, force her to be a member? Is that what you're driving at?" A bit of a glare was coming to his eyes, but I didn't stop. "Are you trying to get your whole family banned? Get me banned by telling me all this? You've put me in a position of deciding whether or not to report you!"

Burt was close to fuming, I could tell by the veins coming out in his neck and the new beads of sweat creeping from under his hat that were not from exertion. "No, I don't think they knew she'd run!"

"Then what?!"

"I think they figured out what we did, that she was getting information from angels - at least an angel, who knows if there were more, and for how long. Something must've gone wrong, and badly wrong, for her to run. And, yeah, she could've contacted the Moles. Sunder was nothing if not logical, she knew they wanted her, and she’d know we'd be her best hope if she got on the wrong side of the heavenly host."

Another fit of harsh wind, and it seemed to drag the line of fog closer.

“‘We'?! She's been out there playing with fire all this time, and to what end, we don’t know, which is the point. Yeah, that is what we should be working on, not whatever this garbage goose chase is, but we're not," I said, my jaw so tight my words were slipping out through clenched teeth. “This is our mission. We’re off the Sunder case, Burt! I’ve accepted it! Now get it through your thick skull!”

“Y-you.... you've accepted it?" Burt scoffed. "Tell me another one, Jacky. And while you're at it, make me believe you don't want to find her so we can help her."

So there it was. Burt's passion had nothing to do with finding her to assess the danger, and everything to do with keeping her - and if we were right, possibly her Nephilim daughter - safe. I was very close to punching him right in that chubby mug of his.

"Stop acting like you know Sunder! Stop acting like we can get into her mind. We can't - she's gone completely 'round the bend, whatever she's doing, and it's gonna get her killed. She's not going to be a problem for long - that is my theory. Case closed."

Burt and I stared at each other for who knows how long before he took a deep breath and tried again.

"I don't claim to be in her head. But she’s a mother---"

"Mother to a---"

"---and you don't have any children, Jack. You can't understand. We're God's children, sure, but the angels were his first, and their creation was purposeful, they were designed, they were planned, and you can't plan to create a life and not have love be part of it."

My ire crumbled right along with his face. I wanted to kick myself. Burt's wife had suffered so many miscarriages, I'd truthfully lost count. They'd finally gotten past a worrying point with her current pregnancy and it had only added to his geniality. Not presently, though, as I'd just single-handedly managed to crack his sweet spirit into pieces.

"Burt, I didn't mean to---"

And suddenly his expression went back to fierce determination as he demanded the truth in one simple question:

"What did you do that made them take the Sunder case away?”

Author's note: This is doubling as an entry to  @klaineaholic 's Challenge Celebration for reaching 400 Followers, because she provided such an excellent set of prompts from "Steven Universe" that I couldn't resist. My prompt was the quote "Humans find such fascinating ways to waste their time.”

Feedback makes my ❤️ go boom

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[pastelgrungewrecker]

Alt-Mode

All this bad blood here Won’t you let it dry?

Winning the ship was a hollow victory as half the crew ran; scared of retribution.

Getaway was smug until the end, until the very moment his optics faded and he went limp in Rodimus’s hellfire grasp and the newly instated Captain looked out over his battered crew.

“Tally up who’s left.”, he rasped out, voice worn down from rage and battle, “Find out who’s still here.”

Those missing were either mourned or cursed; depending on whether their bodies were found or not. But the name that hurt the most... Was Perceptor. The name that made Brainstorm’s wings raise in betrayal, that made Rodimus grind his dentae and that broke Drift’s spark into pieces...was Perceptor.

Ratchet shut down, the crew fell silent.

He was not mourned.

That was nearly two years previous. Brainstorm had grown used to working alone, enjoyed it even... until he didn’t. And suddenly, he understood why Perceptor had gone cold and so very quiet. Why things seemed to become nothing more than a routine for him, why he dodged the winds of change by hiding in the lee side of old stones of protocol and rules.

And Brainstorm, himself, grew quiet. Quiet, and cold, and bitter.

A beaker shattered upon the floor when it fell from shaky hands. Brainstorm sighed, wings flicking as he rose from his seat and trudged to the old storage closets. His hand hovered in front of the keypad as he remembered the bickering over the codes they set as locks. He swallowed his smile like powdered arsenic and pressed the keys in the proper order.

[Access: Denied.]

He frowned, and entered it again.

[Access: Denied.]

A few more tries and the keypad shut down. Brainstorm muttered his curses as he forced it to reboot and began to toy and fiddle with the keypad before he finally got the code to work-

And narrowed tired optics.

Perceptor, paranoid though he could be, had one fatal flaw with passwords. He had only four he would cycle through without fail- his memory had taken a hit alongside his optic all those years ago, and as such he wanted to make sure he never forgot a keycode.

The series of numbers used matched none of the ones Perceptor used.

The main door eased open with a hiss. Brainstorm huffed, stepping in and looking over the labels on the internal closets before snarling curses as he realized every label was suddenly missing. He hadn’t been in these closets in ages, and as such didn’t have them memorized- organization was more Perceptor’s thing anyway.

He hauled the doors open one by one- each more worrying than the last. These were not the perfectly ordered storage units he had left behind all that time ago; these were not units meticulously placed in the comforting brackets of Perceptor’s system.

Crates and boxes haphazardly packed and shoved in wherever they could fit; dust and dirt and signs of age. Dead chemicals and stained equipment.

And the final door was welded shut; its lock shot to pieces. Dust caked the weld and Brainstorm felt his spark seem to sink. He ran for a plasma cutter and hustled back, fearing what he would find within the sealed storage room.

It was the matter of moments to cut the door from its frame, and only a few hits with a heavy shoulder to knock it in and send it clattering to the floor.

The room... was empty. Empty aside from an old microscope sitting in the middle of the floor. Scuffed and battered and beaten, paintjob smeared in splatters of rust and dust and age and misuse it sat alone in the dim light coming in from the main walkway that led down the line of storage units.

With a sigh, Brainstorm turned to leave.

Whirrrrrrrrrrclick. Whirrrrrrrrrclickclickclick.

He paused.

A hum, and another whirr.

Brainstorm turned, optics wide in shock as he saw the tray lower and raise, the cracked eyepiece twist. The tarnished knobs turned and ground as they did.

Vwhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirum!

The sound of a t-cog desperately trying to activate.

Brainstorm stood in dumbfounded shock, and opened his mouth to speak. He mean to ask what the meaning of this was, who they were- but deep down he already knew.

“Percy?”

A hideous grind, and the entire thing tried to MOVE.

And that’s when Brainstorm saw where treads had been removed as he moved closer. That’s when shaking hands reached out as his comms activated.

::Drift, Drift it’s Brainstorm, in the labs- I may know where Percy is-::

Click.

The commline went dead.

Brainstorm tried again, ::Rodimus, its-::

::Don’t.::

Click.

Brainstorm found something bolted into the microscope’s frame as he opened a line with Ratchet.

::Don’t you DARE CUT ME OFF.::, he snarled, servos working as fast as they could, ::I may have found Perceptor, I’m in the lab storage.::

::Brainstorm, that’s ridiculous. He’d be offline, or worse.::

::Not if he was locked in alt-mode.::

::I doubt even GETAWAY would be that cruel-::

Brainstorm grunted as he pulled hard after loosening bolts and easily popping old and rusty screws free.

The clatter and clash of transformation- and a rust-spotted Perceptor gagged on an attempt to vent before he howled in excruciating pain.

::Then tell me who THAT is?!::

::PRIMUS, keep him steady, do what you can to keep him stable- I’m on my way.::

A crunch and whine of old machinery and Perceptor screamed again, flat on his back as he convulsed and his servos creaked almost as loud as his loosened jaw.

Brainstorm crawled over, letting Perceptor’s twitching hand grip his own and weakly squeeze as though that would make the grinding pain stop. He winced, not from pain, but from the lack of it. On his knees he inched even coser, carefully lifting Perceptor’s helm onto his lap and speaking to him in a rapid babble.

“Perceptor, Percy, hey, it’s me- focus on my voice alright? Ratchet’s on his way, you’re gonna be okay-”

“Br-”, Perceptor’s voice shattered into static and he reset his vocalizer, gagging at the sensation, “Brain-st-m?”

“Yeah, it’s me, it’s me Percy. I’ve got you, Ratchet’s on the way, he’s gonna help you.”

Another static charged howl of pain, and Brainstorm heard the crack of a knee-joint’s setup nearly disintegrating.

“Focus on ym voice Percy, you gotta listen to me- I know that’s hard but you’ve got to stay with me here, alright? You’re in bad shape, but we’re gonna fix you up.”

“Sch-m-tix.”

“Scamtix?”

“Schema-tix. Desk, top r-right.”

“Percy, why do we need those-”

“Re-b-ld. Mod-d fra-”, a shriek pierced the words, and Brainstorm nodded. He heard the crash of Ratchet bulling the door down, and his wings jerked up.

“RATCHET! TOP RIGHT DRAWER OF PERCY’S DESK ARE HIS REBUILD SCHEMATICS! YOU’LL NEED THEM!”

“WHY?!”

“HE MODDED HIS FRAME!”

Muffled cursing, followed by the sound of something breaking. Brainstorm winced, knowing Perceptor wouldn’t be happy that his desk was no doubt in pieces.

Speaking of, the shuddering scientist rolled onto his side and curled as a movement of his arm popped the shoulder’s joint out of place- the arm hung by wires and showed the internal rusting and deterioration lacing through it and Brainstorm’s spark was in his intake.

And then Ratchet filled the doorway, his faceplates contorted in a mixture of rage and horror before he was at Perceptor’s side. On one knee, he spoke in the softest voice Brainstorm had ever heard as he searched for the mediport in Perceptor’s arm- only to hiss a curse.

“What is it?”

“Welded closed. I’m going to have to force it- and it’s going to hurt.”

“Is there any way to bypass the pain?! He’s in enough of it!”

Another howl from Perceptor.

“I could link up with him but with this level of deterioration he’d take ME out from the pressure of it, Brainstorm- hell, it’s a wonder we’ve been able to handle his field this long.”

“Then I’ll do it.”

“Brainstorm-”

“Listen, I abandoned him once already.”, snapped Brainstorm, “I’m not doing it again. I’ll help with his pain, you focus on getting him better.”

Ratchet pulled a heavy grey cable from his subspace, his expression something almost reverent and... maybe proud.

“Base of his helm to yours- and be careful; it’s gonna hit you like nuclear meltdown.”

“I’ve lived through worse.”, said Brainstorm bitterly, snatching the cable with one hand as the other felt out the tiny indentation at the back of Perceptor’s helm. One end of the cable slid in with a click and he raised the other to his own.

“Work quickly, Ratchet.”

Click, hiss.

Nothing, for a moment as his processor verified the connection; and then it was nothing but white hot pain as Perceptor’s howls and screams slowly quieted down into a sedated whimper, punctuated with soft cries and Brainstorm doubled over with a gasp.

Every last inch of him was on fire- it was death all over again; it was the killswitch mixed with betrayal and Brainstorm shuttered his optics as he wobbled in place.

His hands moved the floor to steady himself and once again Perceptor’s sought him.

Ratchet worked quickly, coughing at the scent of burnt circuitry and hoping Brainstorm hadn’t shorted completely out.

Brainstorm didn’t know how long he had drifted in and out of starbursts of suffering- until they came slower and slower and finally stopped. Ratchet pulled the cable free, subspacing it before patting Brainstorm’s cheekcabling and speaking the MTO’s name.

“You still with me?”

“That was... He was....”

“It’s hell.”, said Ratchet quietly, “I’ve got hi sedated, we need to get him to the medibay- It’s a wonder he didn’t just fall into pieces when he transformed, but he’s not going to be walking for a good long while.”

“How bad does it look?”, asked Brainstorm as Ratchet’s arms went under Perceptor and carefully lifted him. The sniper hung limp, optics dim and limb twitching as bursts of whimpered static flitted from him like ashes from a wildfire.

“Bad.”, was all Ratchet would say, “It looks bad.”

“But you can repair him, right?”

“I hope so.”, said Ratchet as Drift nearly slid into the doorframe with a broken spark in his optics, “I really hope so.”

Brainstorm watched as Drift stepped aside for Ratchet to pass, mouthing Perceptor’s name and wobbling where he stood. Brainstorm forced himself to his pedes so he could get to Drift’s side, give him someone to lean on-

What he never expected was for the TIC to turn and hug him fiercely, making backstruts pop into alignment as he did.

[not-a-space-alien]

Aziraphale’s Legion, Part 6: Love

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12

Series masterpost

On AO3

This chapter has a sexual assault trigger warning.

“Wake up.”

“Ngk.”

“Crowley.”

Crowley rolled over and squinted at him.  “What? Are we under attack?  Is there some pressing matter requiring our attention?”

“For once, no.”

“Then what?”

“It’s eight o’ clock. We can’t laze about in bed all day.”

Crowley moaned.  “It’s not all day,” he said, burrowing back into the covers.

“We can’t have this conversation every morning, you lazy serpent.”

Crowley knew very well that they could have this conversation every morning.  They had had it every morning since they had started sleeping in the same bed.  “You’ll have to make me get up,” he said from under his fortifications.

He was suddenly assaulted by fresh, cold air as the duvet was thrown back.  “I think I can smell something cooking, hmm?  Why don’t you go see if Oryss is making something for us? That girl is a splendid cook.”

Crowley crawled forwards. “Yes, O Lord Aziraphale.”

“Were you being erotic that time?”

“…No.”

Crowley was still half asleep, but he at least remembered to miracle a pair of cozy trousers over his pants before walking out of the bedroom, his bare feet padding on the floor. Despite Aziraphale’s admonition that they were the lazy ones, the shop was mostly still and quiet, with everyone out of sight or sleeping, with no apparent activity.  A warrior angel, out of armor and lazing about at the table by the staircase, stared at his exposed torso as he descended the stairs, but Crowley pretended it was because he was admiring his muscles.

He peeked his head into the kitchenette and saw that Oryss was in fact at the stove, a pile of cooked bacon already appearing on a plate next to her.

“Good morning, Lord Crowley!” she said to him, shaking the skillet.  “I, er…”  She beckoned him closer, and he leaned in.  “I’m making breakfast for three.  If, um, you think the antichrist would take it as an apology…”

“I’m sure he’d be delighted,” said Crowley, patting her shoulder and suppressing a yawn.  “I’ll go find him.”

He strolled out of the back room. The warrior angel who had been sitting at the table was waiting for him, blocking his way.

“Oh,” said Crowley, almost bumping into him.  “Sorry. I was just looking for Adam.  Have you seen him around?”

The angel grinned. “Come here.”

“O-okay,” said Crowley, puzzled at his tone.

Crowley followed the angel into the bookshop proper, which was mostly empty.  The warrior gestured to one of the shelves narrowly crowded against the wall, where Aziraphale kept books he especially did not want customers to find and discouraged them with the tightness of the quarters.

“Back here, then?” said Crowley, with rising unease he could not explain.

“Yes.”

Crowley ducked behind the shelf to see a figure in the crevice there, but it was not Adam.  It was the warrior angel who had caught him getting intimate with Aziraphale the day before.

Crowley turned around, only to see that the first angel had blocked his escape route.  Adrenaline flooded his system.

He made a motion to try and dart past him, but suddenly a pair of hands grabbed him from behind, wrenching him around and pushing him against the wall. The angel in front of him pressed against him and pinned him down. The other boxed him in with one arm and used his other hand to trace a line down Crowley’s chest, down his stomach…

“H-hey,” squeaked Crowley when the hand was poking into his trousers.  “Wh-What are you doing?”

“Mhmhm…I think you know what we’re doing,” murmured the angel, caressing the demon’s jaw.  Crowley squirmed and tried to pull away.

“We’ll show you a much better time than him,” said the other.  “We’re warriors.  We’re strong.”

Crowley writhed again, but he found their statement was true and he could not slip out of their grasp. His eyes flared with panic as he realized what was happening.  “Hold on.”

The angel withdrew his hand from Crowley’s trousers and moved it to his own zipper, undoing it to reveal his pants.  “I bet you want to suck my cock, demon, hm?”

“N-no!” said Crowley.

They both paused, as if they hadn’t expected that answer.  “What?” said one.

“Get off me!”

They both looked alarmed now.  “You don’t want to have sex with us?”

“What the b-bloody fuck?   No!  Why would you think that?”

They both loosened their grips, and Crowley edged away from them as far as the space would allow, sucking in deep breaths.

“I saw you with Aziraphale,” said the one angel.  “You seemed to be enjoying it, so we figured…”

“I’m with Aziraphale, you bloody—fucking—”

They both furrowed their brows.  “What do you mean you’re with him?”

“What do you mean, ‘what do you mean?’” stuttered Crowley.  “Do I have to spell it out for you?”

They were both silent for a moment. “Did…” Crowley began.  “Did you think I just had some sort of fetish for sucking angelic cock? Is that what you thought?”

They both looked vaguely ashamed.

“Oh my—You did, didn’t you? And you took that as an invitation to just help yourselves!”

The one on the left looked at him sharply, as though just noticing his anxiety for the first time. “What did you think we were going to do?”

The other angel’s face contorted into anger. “You think we’re rapists and murderers like you demons? We’re angels.  What’s wrong with you?”

“Wh-what the Hell was I supposed to think, with the way you manhandled me against the wall?”

“Oh don’t bullshit us,” said the second angel viciously. “Everyone knows that’s how demons like it. Rough.”

“That’s how demons are, innit?” said the other.  “Always eager to fornicate?  How were we supposed to know you wouldn’t like it?”

“Are you out of your bloody minds?” Crowley yelled.

“What were you expecting, with the way you came out this morning half naked and looked at me?”

“Get out of the way,” Crowley said.

“Don’t act like this is all our fault,” the second angel growled. “You little manwhore.”

“I said get out of the way!” Crowley yelled.  “Let me out.”

The angel that had just insulted him stood where he was and seethed.  Crowley was immensely relieved when the first angel stood to one side to give him enough room to pass.  He darted out, his sweaty palm leaving a handprint on the shelf as he fled.

He went straight upstairs, heart still pounding, to find Aziraphale with Adramelech in their bedroom.

“My wardrobe is fine, dear boy,” Aziraphale was saying to the demon, who was holding a selection of clothes he had apparently been trying to convince the angel to wear.

Crowley skittered into the room and said, “We have a problem.”

“I’ll say,” said Adramelech. “Have you seen the amount of tartan in his closet?”

“No, I mean a real problem!”

“Has something happened?” said Aziraphale, turning away from Adramelech.

“Yes,” he said.  “The angels still don’t know we’re together.”

“What?” said Aziraphale. “Surely Victoria would have told them?”

“Apparently not!  That angel who saw us together yesterday didn’t draw the logical conclusion that we’re in a relationship.  Instead, he did the mental gymnastic around that conclusion to think I’ll just fuck anything that moves, including him and his buddy.”

“What?” said Aziraphale stormily.  “Crowley, did they…?”

“No, but I really thought they were going to for a minute.”

“Hold on,” said Adramelech with a ruffle of feathers.  “You two are together?  Like together together?  Not just in cahoots, but in each other’s cahoots?”

“Adramelech,” said Crowley, exasperated, “yes! What the hell did you all think?”

“Thought that Aziraphale was just very honourable,” said Adramelech, a tad embarrassed.  “With how he went into Hell after you to uphold his end of your business deal.  And how he keeps watch over you while you sleep to keep you safe.  Isn’t that how angels are?”

“We’ve kissed in front of you!”

“…thought it was a display of platonic affection between brothers-in-arms.”

“We share the same bed!”

“…thought that was due to space constraints.”

“You all kept calling me his ‘right-hand demon,’” said Crowley, reeling, “because you thought I was like…his second-in-command in a military sense?”

“Well,” said Adramelech. “I-I didn’t think you two would actually…”

“Oh my somebody,” said Crowley.  “The demons don’t know it either.  Aziraphale, we’re toast when everybody finds out.”

“Don’t get hysterical, Crowley,” said Aziraphale, putting his hands on his shoulders.  “You don’t know that.  We don’t know how they’ll react.”

They both looked over at Adramelech, who was eyeing them with some mixture of disgust and fear.

“…Okay, maybe we need to address this right now,” said Aziraphale.

Crowley took a moment to threaten Adramelech into silence before following Aziraphale up the fire escape.

“Victoria!” hissed Crowley as they came up onto the roof.

The power turned to meet them.  “What’s wrong?  Are you all right?”

“Victoria, you didn’t tell them?” said Aziraphale in a strained whisper, with a glance at the other angels.

“Tell them what?”

“About me and Crowley being together?  They still don’t know?”

“That?  I didn’t think it was really important.”

“Not imp—Victoria, two of your angels took our…activities…as an invitation to stick their hands down my pants,” said Crowley.

Victoria got a horrified look on her face.  “What?”

“If you don’t discipline them, I’ll make sure it gets done,” said Aziraphale.

“Of course, Aziraphale, but I don’t—”

“Surely at least Michael knows?” said Crowley.  “Right? Victoria?”

“Victoria,” said Aziraphale testily, “surely at least the archangel who is on a hair-trigger to kill anyone he doesn’t like already knows and is fine with it?”

She bit her lip.

“Oh my God!  What could he possibly think of us?”

“I don’t know.  I’m sorry.  I don’t really know what they think is going on.  They didn’t seem overly interested—”

“Well, we can’t tell him now,” said Aziraphale.  “Do you have any idea how he’ll react when he finds out—er, well the exact nature of our relationship?”

“I don’t know.  I’m sorry.”

“Blast,” said Crowley. “As if we need another thing waiting to blow up in our faces.”

They left Victoria uneasy on the roof and came back into the bedroom.  Adramelech flew at them as soon as they came in.

“Forgive me for the way I reacted, Master!  It was incredibly rude of me, and I’m still loyal—”

“That’s all right, Adramelech,” said Aziraphale, fending him off.  “I forgive you.”

“I’m still loyal, my lord,” fretted Adramelech, his jewelry jangling as he waved his arms.  “I just didn’t realize the full extent of how unconventional your relationship was.  The onus is on me.  Punish me if you wish.”

“That’s all right, Adramelech, don’t worry about it.”

“I don’t have a problem with it, lord, it just took me by surprise.”

“Okay, Adramelech.”

“I mean it, lord, I beg your forgiveness.  I am ashamed my reaction was to invalidate your feelings.  Send me away if you feel inclined.”

“Adramelech,” said Crowley. “Please just be quiet.”

“Now, don’t panic, Crowley,” said Aziraphale.  “If they’re all so dense that they haven’t figured it out by now, maybe they simply won’t and we’ll sidestep this issue entirely.”

“Maybe,” he muttered.

“I’ve been so foolish,” said Adramelech.  “I’m so sorry.  How could I not have seen?  Master, would you like me to get you any…intimate supplies?  Candles?  Toys—”

“I think we can manage,” said Aziraphale, reddening and cutting him off before he could go any further. “We’ve gotten this far without assistance, thank you.  Please, just keep this to yourself, all right?”

Adramelech agreed, although he then ran out of the room as though he hadn’t heard and was on a mission to find something.

Crowley didn’t see Victoria chewing out those two angels, but he heard it because she did it quite loudly.  Truth be told, he was disappointed she seemed to be mostly chastising them for allowing themselves to be “distracted by desires of the flesh” and having “un-angelic impulses” and not, you know, assaulting him.  When the two angels tried to argue that what they had done was not fundamentally different from Aziraphale’s behaviour, Victoria struggled to muster up an appropriate dismissal.  She eventually snapped at them that as warrior angels, they were held to higher standards than a field agent like Aziraphale.  Aziraphale might have been offended if he hadn’t also been worrying about Victoria’s lackluster grasp on what the problem was.  Aziraphale went up while she did that, and Crowley heard Aziraphale’s voice faintly trying to explain their perspective of the incident to the rest of the angels on the roof while he hid in the bedroom with the door locked.  Hopefully that would establish some rules of behaviour neither of them had thought they would need to lay out.

Maybe they shouldn’t have been surprised.  Angels are usually sexless, unless they want to make an effort, so it hardly seemed likely anyone had talked to them about consent up in Heaven.  But they were disappointed.  Aziraphale was not sure how to try and explain it to Victoria after what she had said to the perpetrators.  He was half-afraid that if he tried, she would take the angels’ side and say Crowley must have enticed them somehow.

The demons, who had all been on Earth for longer, seemed to understand a little bit more.  Botis was the angriest of all when he heard about what had happened, and he insisted that Aziraphale command him to challenge the two angels in combat to the death in order to defend Crowley’s honour.

Aziraphale looked Botis up and down, half-tempted to actually do it.  Botis had obviously been some sort of warrior class as an angel and his aura was quite strong—there was a chance he might actually win against one, but probably not two.  And any violence at all might set off something larger, especially if Michael decided to get involved.  He just barely managed to convince Botis to let Victoria handle the matter.  Botis, in response, took to hovering around Crowley protectively whenever Aziraphale left, to the point where Crowley had to ask him to step out of his personal space several different times.

Judging by the look on Maltha’s face, though, those two angels’ most likely end might have been quietly, when they had their back turned towards her.  It might have actually happened had they not been sent away.

Those two disappeared, presumably sent back to heaven.  This incident brought the number of angels loitering on the roof down to fifteen.

Botis was the one who provided him with that particular figure, because Botis had become a neurotic wreck trying to keep track of all the threats to his master.  He considered the angels threats, maybe more out of habit than anything.  But it was probably not far from the truth, Aziraphale thought depressingly.

“Master.”

Aziraphale looked up from what he had been reading.  “What is it, Botis?”

The demon’s lips quavered around his tusk-like fangs.  “Lord Aziraphale, forgive me.  I know you want to avoid a fight with the angels, and I know you told me I shouldn’t worry about keeping an eye on them or focus on them while patrolling—”

“It’s all right, Botis, just tell me what the problem is.”

“There are sixteen angels on the roof, lord.”

Aziraphale put down his pen and massaged his temples.  “Yes, Botis, why is that noteworthy?”

“There were fifteen last night.  I did not see the arrival of the sixteenth one.”

“Oh,” said Aziraphale, realizing.  “Ooh. There’s an extra, is that what you’re worried about?”

“Yes, lord.”

“I’m sure they just sent down a replacement for those two angels that got sent away yesterday.”

Botis did not seem convinced, fidgeting agitatedly.  “Lord, if that were the case, why would they not send down two?”

“What is it you’re worried about, Botis?”

Botis rocked from one foot to the other.  “With so many angels and demons coming and going through this place, I am concerned someone who wished ill upon you could take the opportunity to slip in unnoticed to get close to you.  I have been able to keep track of the demons here, but the angels up there have escaped my notice far more often than I like.”

“Ah,” said Aziraphale. It seemed logical, and it also reeked of the kind of paranoia that both plagued Crowley and kept him alive in the face of danger, the kind Aziraphale had no way of confirming or denying.

“I just want to keep you safe, lord, and it’s very difficult when I can’t do anything about—”

Aziraphale cut him off with a wave.  “That’s all right, Botis, I understand.  Tell you what, if you bothers you that much, why don’t we go talk to Michael?  He can tell us who the extra angel is and why they came here.”

Botis somehow looked simultaneously relieved and nervous.  “Me?  Talk to Michael, lord?”

“Come on, I’ll help you.”

Aziraphale beckoned Botis to follow him up the fire escape.  The demon clutched his sword tightly as they came onto the roof.  Aziraphale had not yet seen Botis look comfortable holding his own sword even once since they had met, but he was white-knuckling it like it was a good luck charm as the archangel’s eyes snapped up to them.

“What seems to be the problem, Aziraphale?” said Michael, jogging over.  His armor jangled as he did so, and he looked inordinately excited, as though begging Aziraphale to have some news that could lead to something interesting.

Aziraphale motioned to Botis to go on.

“Ah, s-sir,” said Botis, instantly covered in sweat.  “M-Michael, sir, I couldn’t help b-but n-notice that your squadron grew by one member last night.”

Michael blinked at him. “What?”

“There were fifteen angels under your command here last night, but today there are sixteen.”

Michael looked vaguely at his group.  “That doesn’t seem right.”

“Sir!” said Botis, growing red but gaining courage. “I spent two hours this morning counting and re-counting all the angels here!  There’s definitely one more than there was before!”

Michael’s expression was growing dull and disappointed.  “Oh, all right then.  Anything else?”

Botis froze.

“Erm,” said Aziraphale gently, “what we meant, Michael, is that you seem to have a newcomer in your group, but there are so many people coming and going that we hadn’t noticed who it was.  Would you mind introducing us to them?”  He had thought it was more important to try and memorize his demons’ names first.  He had only a vague recognition of the angels, and he thought that if you put all sixteen in a line-up, he wouldn’t be able to tell you which of them was the new one.

“You’ve got it backwards,” said Michael.  “We sent two angels back up because you made a fuss yesterday, remember, Aziraphale? There’s fewer now.”

Aziraphale prodded Botis. “I’m positive that one has joined you after that, Michael, sir,” he stammered.

“I don’t know,” said Michael.  “Looks about the same to me.”

“Michael,” burst out Aziraphale, “please just tell us who the new arrival is.”

“I don’t think there is one,” said Michael testily.  “Aziraphale, you don’t have to yell at me.”

Aziraphale stared at the archangel’s back as he huffed and stomped away.  “Botis,” he said, grabbing the demon’s arm and dragging him back down the fire escape.

“Lord?”

“Good work. Something’s going on here.”

Aziraphale knew it was plausible that Michael could simply have failed to notice someone joining his company.  Michael wasn’t stupid, but he wasn’t exactly observant, either.  But Aziraphale was positive that Angelo, who seemed to have an easier time keeping track of what was going on, would have at least told him if the company had gotten word that they were getting a new arrival, which Aziraphale was fairly sure Michael would have remembered when asked about.

Which meant that the sixteenth angel had joined the company unplanned, possibly without permission. And he could see the other angels lying to hide the newcomer’s presence.  The list of reasons went on and on:  How Victoria had publicly humiliated the last angels who had misbehaved; how Aziraphale was generally not well-liked by Heaven’s garrison; how they didn’t trust Aziraphale’s demons.  If the newcomer claimed they were going to do no harm, it would be instinctual to take their side.

The question was why someone would want to do that.  Botis’s concerns about someone wishing them ill surfaced at the forefront again, and he resolved to find Crowley immediately.

He pulled Botis behind him until he found Crowley in the upstairs hallway.

“There you are,” he said, relieved.  He grabbed him and towed one demon with each arm behind him.  “Come on, let’s find Angelo.  I’m sure he’ll know.”

That turned out to be a mistake.  Angelo simply sneered and said that if he had safety concerns, he could start with the horde of demons under his roof. Aziraphale had not wanted to rely on Victoria after the way she had handled the last problem they had brought to her, but if any of the angels who were sort-of his friends wouldn’t help him, there was a slim chance any of the others would.  He wasn’t terribly popular.

So he asked Victoria, but he made the mistake of bringing Botis with him for that.  She looked at the demon uncomfortably and answered evasively, and Aziraphale thought she was probably concerned Botis and the other demons would do something to the newcomer if they were discovered.

He found Maltha and Beth lounging in the flat and beckoned them over.  The five of them huddled together.

“We have a situation,” said Aziraphale.  “Botis has discovered that an extra angel snuck into Michael’s ranks last night, and the other angels won’t tell us anything about who they are or why they’re here.  Does anybody recognize who the newcomer is?  Surely a new face wouldn’t go unnoticed.”

Crowley wanted to say that angels all looked the same to him, but figured that would be offensive somehow and kept it to himself.

“There have been so many that I haven’t learned their names…” said Maltha hesitantly.

“That is precisely what we’re concerned about,” said Aziraphale.  “With so many people moving around here, someone could use it as an opportunity to sneak in.”

“They must have ill intentions,” said Botis.  “Why else would they sneak in, and not come openly?”

“But what could they be after?” said Crowley.

“Take your pick,” said Maltha.  “I doubt Michael’s ranks would admit anyone who wished him harm, but between all the demons, traitors, and the antichrist here, they could be after anyone.”

“We need to flush them out,” said Aziraphale.  “I have some questions for them.”

Beth made a fist and tapped it into her open palm.  “Maltha said Michael’s angels are elite warriors that spend most of their time in Heaven, is that right?”

“Yes,” said Crowley. “To be deployed at Michael’s command at Armageddon.  They’re woefully ignorant about the ways of the world.”

“Well, I seen an angel in the back room using a cell phone.”

They all paused. Aziraphale thought of how Victoria hadn’t even known what a mobile phone was when she saw one.

“Good thinking, Beth,” said Maltha, ruffling her hair.

“Then they must be a field agent,” said Aziraphale.  “Not somebody Michael would have brought.  Let’s go.”

They went down as a group and gathered in the doorway to the back room.  There was an angel seated at the table with her feet thrown up casually on it, and she was typing quite fast on an electronic device in her hand.

Aziraphale examined her aura more closely.  She definitely was not a warrior angel.  She was a field agent, no doubt about it.  There was no way she would be with Michael’s company.

Aziraphale strolled into the room with artificial nonchalance.  “Excuse me, my dear.  What’s your name?”

Her eyes snapped up to him nervously.  “Rosia,” she said.

“Hello, Rosia.  I couldn’t help but notice you’re using a mobile. I was wondering if it’s common among Michael’s warriors to use technology like that.”

She clicked the lock on her phone and slipped it into her pocket immediately.  “Not terribly common, no, but…”

Aziraphale fingered the edge of the table, his stare drilling into her.  “You’re not in Michael’s ranks, are you?”

Rosia bit her lip, opened her mouth to answer, and shut it again.  Then she darted away from the table.

She was immediately tackled to the floor by Botis.

“Get off me!” she yelled, kicking at the demon.

“I knew it!” said Botis, seemingly obliviously the smacks landing on his face.  “What harm do you intend for my masters, fiend?”

“Aziraphale, you’d let this demons attack a fellow angel?” said Rosia.

Maltha slammed one clawed foot down inches away from the angel’s face, and both she and Botis froze.

“Stand up,” rumbled the archdemon.  “Now.”

Botis and Rosia stood slowly, brushing themselves off.

“Rosia, you will answer our questions now.”

Rosia crossed her arms.

The commotion had drawn a crowd by now, and Aziraphale moved them out into the shop where there was more room.  He was somewhat dismayed to see Michael, Angelo, and Victoria descending the stairs with a few warriors in tow, looking hostile.

“Aziraphale, what are you doing?” said Victoria shortly.  “I thought you wanted to avoid a fight.”

“Well, we weren’t going to make it a scene,” Aziraphale snapped back at her. “But since you brought Michael down I guess now it is one.”

Rosia was eyeing the crowd of demons that had gathered around her with apprehension.

“What are you doing here?” said Maltha.  “Why did you try to hide from us?”

Rosia grew red, still looking out at the demons.  “I-I….I…”

“Sirs!” said one demon suddenly, throwing his paw into the air, pushing towards the front.  “Sirs, wait!  Wait!”

The demon, who Aziraphale remembered was named Rava, stood in front of Maltha and Aziraphale.  He swallowed nervously, but then didn’t say anything.

“Well, what is it?” said Aziraphale, a trifle testily.  His patience for this whole escapade running out.  “Out with it.”

“Sir, she snuck in to be closer to me!  Punish me, not her!”

“No!” said Rosia, running over to him.  “Don’t punish him, it’s not his fault.”

“What?” said Aziraphale vaguely.  “What do you mean?”

Crowley’s face was dawning with horror next to him, as though realizing something of which Aziraphale was a bit slower on the uptake.  “Rava?  What do you mean?” pressed Aziraphale.

Rava looked at him, trembling.  “She snuck in because she was worried about me.”

“Why would she be worried about you?”

“Because we love each other!” Rosia burst out finally, drawing Rava closer to her.  “All right?  There! I said it!”

It seemed that the angels and demons had finally found something to agree on:  The room immediately erupted into angry shouting. Rosia and Rava hugged closer to each other.

“Hold on, hold on!” said Aziraphale, clapping his hands, trying to wrangle the room back into silence. When he finally succeeded, he continued, “Rava, dear boy, is this true?  You and this angel love each other?”

He nodded.

“Filth!  Deceit!” shouted an angel from behind Michael.  “Demons don’t love!  What has he done to her?”

“Rava,” said one of the demons, “you can’t be serious.”

“Angels don’t love like that,” said another demon.

“She’s playing with him.”

“Rosia, we’ll get you away from him!”

“This is some kind of trick.”

“Please, everybody, quiet!” said Aziraphale, and before he could say anything else, Rava interjected:

“Lord Aziraphale, please believe me, I would never hurt her or trick her.  We were stationed opposite each other for millennia and—well, we—we couldn’t stay enemies for that long, could we?  And…”

“No way,” Crowley whispered. “No way.”

“And eventually we came to a sort of understanding, and it ended up turning into something more.”

“We do love each other,” said Rosia.  “You might not believe it, but it’s true.”

“Lord Aziraphale?” said Oryss.  He looked over.  Oryss had watery eyes.  What did he see there?  Disbelief? Hope?  Pleading, he decided after a moment, begging for it to be true.  Unmistakable.

He took a deep breath. “Now, everyone, I think we should stop and think about this for a minute.  What these two have with each other is not really any different from—”

Crowley inhaled sharply from beside him.

“—what Crowley and I have. You can’t be fine with it when it’s us, but then reject these two.”

There was a stunned silence in the room.

“But that’s different,” said Botis.  “You two aren’t…you know…”

“We aren’t what?”

The demons all shifted uncomfortably.

“You know, together,” said Botis.  “It’s a business partnership.”

“For somebody’s sake,” snapped Crowley.  “How dense are you lot?  We’re together, in every sense of the word.  We love each other, in every sense of the word.  If anyone’s got a problem with that, out with it now.”

Somebody coughed.

“Really?” said Oryss.

“Dear girl,” said Aziraphale gently.  “Yes.  I thought it would have been obvious.”

“I guess we didn’t think you two’d….” began a demon in the front.

“I-I knew you would understand, lord,” said Rava, amazed and joyful.

“Now hold on a minute,” said one of the warrior angels stormily.  “Demons are not capable of that kind of love.  Carnal desire, yes, but not actual love.”

Maltha edged closer to the couple as the warrior spoke, as though ready to throw herself between them and him.

“Now you hold on a minute,” said Beth, stepping forwards. “I think my expertise might be of some help here.”

“What, you?” said a demon. “What would you know about this?”

Beth blinked at her. “Well.  About demons loving. You know.  Because I’m with Maltha?”

A fresh wave of surprise swept through everyone in the room.

“What?” said Beth, flabbergasted.  “You didn’t know we were together? What did y’all think?”

“Archdemons usually have maidservants…” offered a demon lamely.

“Thought she had you hypnotized,” said another.  “I thought it was a bit cruel, but I didn’t want to say anything…”

“Sometimes humans make deals in exchange for their souls…” guessed a third.

“W-Well, it’s nothing like that,” said Beth, flushing red.  “We just like each other a lot.”

“Listen,” said Maltha. “You may not like it, but demons are capable of innocent, selfless love.  If anyone has a problem with that, take it up with me and Beth before you bother Rosia and Rava.”

“You’re mistaken,” said an angel.  “Whatever you’re feeling, it isn’t love.”

Beth rolled her eyes. “Great, someone else who thinks they know more than me trying to tell me what I’m feeling.  That never gets old!”

Aziraphale was disheartened to hear several of the demons agree, saying that they didn’t feel love because demons in general did not love.

“Now hold on, everyone!” Adramelech pushed his way to the front and planted himself between the group by Aziraphale and Crowley and the rest of the hostile crowd.  “I’ve given this a bit of thought, and I’ve realized: this isn’t really any different from us, is it?  I mean, don’t we love the Earth?”

“I don’t know if that’s really the right word for it…” said Abraxas.

“Abraxas,” said Adramelech. “Don’t you love your cat?”

“Well, I…”

“And I love fashion.  Oryss, you love cooking, and Naruto, you love your waifu, don’t you?  And Lirach keeps talking about how she loves her car, and Velor loves science, and Garmil loves sewing.  We keep bringing this stuff up because we love the things we can do on this planet.”

They all murmured and shifted about vaguely.

“And we all have angelic counterparts,” Adramelech went on.  “It’s not like we hate them, do we?  It’s not really that outlandish.”

“Sirs, I must protest this line of reasoning,” said Botis, stiffly marching up so he was shoulder-to-shoulder with Adramelech. The smaller demon glared up at Botis fiercely from under his eyeliner.

“It’s true I have an angelic counterpart,” said Botis.  “And it’s true that I care about her very much.  It’s true that our relationship is built on mutual respect and trust.  And of course I feel better when she’s around, and my heart flutters when she laughs.  And if she were to ask me to face certain death together with her, sure, I’d do it. These are all totally normal and natural things. Does that mean I love her?”

“Well… yeah,” said Crowley.

Botis blinked at him.

“I mean…it sounds like you do.”

Botis stuttered.

“What did you all think love was?  Some mysterious emotion too ineffable for you to understand?”

“That’s exactly what it is,” huffed one of the angels.  “This is deception.  Demons don’t love.  It’s a godly emotion.  They’re playing us.”

“Ahm, excuse me,” said Aziraphale.  “If I may direct your attention to the sigils adorning the shop exterior, I think you’ll find they set up a spell that bars the entry of all demons except those who love the Earth.  Love it.  If a demon is standing in this shop, it is only because they feel love.”

The angels muttered to themselves.  The demons all looked vaguely embarrassed, as though wrestling with emotions they would rather not acknowledge.  

“Okay,” shouted a demon.  “Fine! But angels don’t love that way.”

“He’s right,” said an angel, who sounded disgusted to be agreeing with a demon.  “Angels do not pair bond.  That’s ridiculous.”

“Hm?” said Michael. “What do you mean?”

Michael’s warriors turned as one to look at him, suddenly realizing how quiet he had been throughout this whole exchange.

“I mean that angels don’t partner up the same way humans do,” the angel repeated.

“Yeah they do,” said Michael.  “It’s not that much different from me and Angelo.”

“Michael,” said Angelo, his voice cracking.

“You two?” said Crowley.

Angelo reddened. Nobody was sure what to say.  The entire group just stood around looking vaguely embarrassed.  Mittens broke the silence by strolling in to beg for attention, and Abraxas knelt and told her to be quiet.

“You can’t let them get away with this, Michael,” seethed an angel.

“With what?”

“Whatever this abomination is between these demons and the ones they claim to love.”

Maltha’s nostrils flared. Crowley crept closer to Aziraphale. Rosia and Rava held each other tightly, bracing themselves.

“I mean, it’s fine I guess,” said Michael.  “Who cares? What’s the problem?”

If the reader has ever heard a human bigot try to justify why they disapprove of a certain relationship due to the members’ demographics, they would probably recognize the spluttering that came next as those who still disapproved fumbled to find a reasonable objection without resorting to “I don’t like it,” or “It makes me uncomfortable.”

Crowley had his eye keenly on Michael.  He was astonished to see that the archangel looked bored.

Without a further word, Michael turned and clunked back up the stairs.  Angelo hurried after him.  Victoria, sensing that the moment of tension had passed, tried to encourage the others to disperse.

Soon it was only Aziraphale and the demons.  Adramelech was still shielding them from the rest, wringing his hands nervously.  

“All right, let’s get this out of the way right now,” said Crowley.  He lifted one finger as if to point, realized he didn’t have a target, and so swung it around the room so as to point to everyone at once. “Aziraphale and I love each other, and you all had better leave Rava and Rosia alone about this.  We need to respect one another.  I won’t have any fighting, and neither will Aziraphale, understand?  This is supposed to be a safe place.  If anyone has any problems, voice them now, or you’re free to walk out.”

The demons all looked chastised, guilty, as though being confronted with feelings they had so far managed to bury.  Nobody left or said anything.  “Okay. Good.  Now.  Disperse. Resume your posts.  Shoo.  Whatever.”

The demons murmured amongst themselves as they scattered, moving slowly off in clumps.

Rava turned towards Aziraphale bowed very deeply. “Master, thank you so much. I knew you would understand.”

Aziraphale, unsure of what to do with this display, patted Rava’s head.  Rosia, who was technically the same rank as Aziraphale, settled for an awkward handshake.

He looked over to see that Oryss was still standing there, looking from Rosia and Rava to Aziraphale and Crowley.

“Is this for real?” she said.  “Really real?”

“Yes,” said Aziraphale. “Yes, I promise.”

Tears began to spill from her eyes.  Aziraphale moved forwards, took her hands in his, and leaned in to whisper to her. “There’s someone, isn’t there?”

She nodded.

“And when you told them, they didn’t believe you?”

Nod.

“An angel I’m assuming?”

“She was supposed to be thwarting me,” she said.  “But most of the time we ended up binge-eating instead…”

Aziraphale squeezed her hands.  “Oryss, when this is all over, you’re going to go back to where you were before, and you’re going to find that angel, and you’re going to show her you’re serious. I’m confident your cooking alone would win her over.”

She gave a half-sob, half laugh.  Aziraphale fished a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed her eyes.  “It’s okay, Oryss.  I promise.”

She leaned into him, as though for a hug.  He hesitated, then put his arms around her.  It was the first time someone else had comforted her in her entire existence, but it wouldn’t be the last.

“Michael.  Michael!”

Michael was barely visible in the gathering darkness on the roof; Angelo could see the moonlight reflecting in his deep eyes as he turned back.

Angelo stood still, the cold night air beginning to seep into his corporation.  They were alone on the roof for now.

“Michael, are you okay?”

Michael plopped himself down on the ground heavily.  “No.”

Angelo scurried over and knelt.  “What’s wrong?”

Michael’s fingers tangled in his own hair.  “Angelo, I need to kill something, I need a bloodbath, I need…”

Angelo hesitated. “Michael, it’s okay that there’s peace. You’re okay.”

“I’m not okay!” Michael whined, and it was then that it dawned on Angelo:  The sword of Heaven.  He had been made for a purpose.  That purpose was the slaughter of the unrighteous, which had by now been dangled in front of him and then suddenly yanked away twice.

The delay of the apocalypse was taking a toll on him.  That venture into Hell had been only a fraction of what he was designed to do.

“Oh, Michael,” Angelo said, prying his hands away from his face and sliding onto the archangel’s lap. “Michael, it’s all right.  Look at me.”

Michael’s eyes were bloodshot and crested by heavy bags.

“We’ll figure something out,” he said.  “I promise, it’ll be all right, and it’ll be all right without you having to kill anyone important to Aziraphale.”

“There were supposed to be other archdemons,” said Michael.  “They said archdemons were after them.  Are they still coming?”

“They’re afraid of you,” said Angelo.  “But I’m sure they’re not that patient, Michael, don’t worry.  I’m sure they’ll come.”

He was not sure whether he wanted to believe they would come or not.  Angelo was only an assistant and not a warrior; he did not have a death wish and consequently did not want to face an archdemon.  But he thought that one had better show up soon, or he wasn’t sure what they would do.