#use your blocks as a curation tool not a bullying tool

[grimoiresomnum]

some people really need to get past the whole "they blocked me, that must mean they don't like me!" mentality that seems to be so prevalent nowadays

I'm sure there are people out there who block to be petty assholes/try to rile people up (and I've run into them myself!) but so many other people (myself included) really just do use blocking/muting tools as "I just don't want to interact with this person for whatever reason", and it's almost never personal

I block to curate my space, it's 99% of the time not a judgement/morality call on the people I'm blocking, it's just as simple as "they put something on my screen I don't want to interact with" but I DO think it's weird that so many people take that so personally, as if they're entitled to put things on other people's screens even if the other people don't want what they're posting

[boyfriendtodeathconfessional]

ungrounded anon back, thank you for not hiding my confession, I really need advice and I appreciate it. I know this crowd is really mean to people with more sensitive brains who can get like mine and I just need help, it’s a cry for help I think.

I've noticed a lack of care towards sensitivity in this fandom. Horrorporn is not an excuse to be a bully and I'm tired of that being the scapegoat when confronted with certain behaviors, because at the end of the day it's just a fandom and worse content is created in mundane spaces every single day.

That being said, let's dig in.

Try going into your settings and utilizing the Filter tools. There's two types, one for tags and one for posts. You can learn more about the differences here, but in summary, Tag filters block posts containing certain tags, and Post filters block posts containing any trace of those tags/words. These are my filtered tags.

I blocked every variation of tags I don't want to see. It doesn't matter if they were used tags or not, if it was a way to spell it, it went in the list. It may be tedious, but I recommend doing this in both Tag and Post filters, that way you can stay in the spaces you enjoy without the burden of broken boundaries. (Blocking users especially guilty of those posts would also help. It doesn't have to be personal, it just has to be.)

A healthy diet of content is necessary if you engage in taboo or darker media. If you have one foot in BTD, make sure the other is somewhere safe. Not as a fall-back, but something you are actively engaging in. Follow blogs of all your tastes and make sure your dashboard is catered to you in balance.

If it's the characters you're attached to, never be afraid to rip them from their source material in favor of your mental wellbeing. Gatobob stated herself that everything that transpires in the games is only a possibility and that she personally likes to explore the darker outcomes, but that doesn't mean you should. Somewhere, Ren's date only arrived late. Somewhere, Lawrence's absence was noticed and he was caught before going under in the lake. Somewhere, Strade swallowed his pride long enough to wonder what was wrong with him and got the help he needed. Derek recognized he was following the bloody path of his family name and diverted. Celia thought ten, twenty, thirty years down the line and decided that's not a life she wanted. Mason embraced Sandy's opinion instead of rejecting it. (Removing them entirely is also an option. Really into Animal Crossing? What would Strade's role on your island be, or is he just a villager? You like Elder Scrolls? Well, where does Ren fit? Is he his own species entirely? Your own OC world would even do.)

Try new things. New shows, new games, new movies, and indulge in that fandom. Make friends there. Create a distance between yourself and BTD/TPOF. It won't be fast, it usually isn't easy, but shattering your fixation is the best way to remove yourself, and the best way to do that is to find another place for yourself elsewhere. Remember that one fandom you enjoyed 10 years ago? Would you still call yourself a super-mega-fan of it? Do you still occupy the fandom like you did when it was fresh? Make that BTD/TPOF. You can't force it, which is why I recommend media-surfing. Find something that does the trick. (For BTD, I would recommend something horror but not too brutal. My first recommendation is Marble Hornets. It can be watched on Youtube for free, and there's plenty of video essays and documentaries on it to get yourself started.)

Leading from a previous note, Make new things. Get into more OC oriented work. Find someone who is also very into their OC's and trade amongst each other. Create your own world to build and explore, publish work of said world, explore other peoples OC work, curate a space of friendly creativity where your word (regarding your work) is final. Deviantart and Toyhou.se are flush with original designs to be sold or given away, like a marketplace of characters to reiterate into your own if you're worried about designing one.

And finally, find other sites to scroll that are less horrorporn inclusive. Sometimes removing yourself altogether is for the best.

Horrorporn fandoms are just fandoms. They don't have to be more or less than that. And if they are, if they're no longer entertaining, there's no reason to stay. But that doesn't mean you aren't accepted here. Having boundaries in an extreme space doesn't make you less than others who can stomach it. Being sensitive doesn't make you small.

I hope you're able to figure things out and rid yourself of what does nothing for you. Keep well, Anon.

[pawberri]

ok, so i just saw an anti-dni post talking about how having a dni list in bio is purposeless and annoying since it is like a 'holding a sign saying "do not kick me." ' now, i find that perspective objectionable (since obtaining a block list might be what is desired anyways and not all dni reasons have to be extremely polarizing, e.g., i dont think a minors dni will suddenly make a billion minors annoyed, making them interact w/ you immediatly) and i have a slight feeling that you disagree with that point of view too because uhhhhh.

so what i wanted to know was whether you share the same reasons to oppose that perspective, and, if not, then, what are they?

I have been getting really annoyed with the backlash to dnis... I think it's goofy when some person has a dni with a million things, but it feels reactionary to me to say "it makes no sense for you to put your boundaries and expect people to follow them." There's especially this vibe with people who post more extreme content getting mad at dnis. I think that's weird. Partially, people seem to take them as like... a sign of moral superiority or hatred... rather than just a little bit of clarity on boundaries. These people talk about "curating your online space" but have to make these posts ranting about people who do it in a way they dislike. I especially think it's dumb to say, "Just block me, why do I have to not interact with you?" because... I mean, you can't block someone you don't know exists. It's meant to be a preemptive expression of boundaries, so the other party has the chance to block you and / or just not interact.

I know that, in practice, some people have really silly, long dnis that are linked on some weird carrd that takes forever to read. I don't think it's fair to strawman the concept of expressing some of your boundaries online in a digestible format as being stupid because of that, though. Especially when a lot of the people with silly dnis are teenagers just trying to figure their life out. They'll grow out of it. It's fine.

I also think it's weird and victim blame-y to say people will naturally be harassed if they give any kind of indication of their boundaries. I sometimes get mean anons, but for the most part, my experience online is way better because I am upfront about things. I don't get too personal or say things I'm uncomfortable sharing, but I make my boundaries clear. Even when I was a teenager and getting harassed by redditors, I never had stuff I asked to be trigger tagged used against me like people fearmonger about. (I'm sure it can happen, but I think that for most people, it just results in their social circle tagging stuff for them.) Even if that did happen, I think it would cruel to say that it was my fault for daring to express a boundary. If you kick the guy who says "do not kick me", you're still being bully and a contrarian asshole. Even if I didn't express a boundary, people like that would likely harass me. If I don't express a boundary for the sake of avoiding harassment, I get in exchange an audience that will constantly be shocked and fight with me about my beliefs when they show. Then, that creates either an unpredictable level of harassment or the feeling of being harassed because I'm constantly in discourse with my followers. At best I feel miserable and hate interacting with my followers.

I think this partially comes from people who are afraid to express their boundaries for fear of backlash (ie they want to make extreme content but fear saying so will make their followers mad), but honestly I think being straight forward makes your audience more curated. The people I see who post extreme content and are clear about it seem to have an easier time than people who build an audience of a bunch of unsuspecting people and then slowly introduce untagged incest kink or something. Not saying it's a guaranteed anti-harassment tool, but I don't understand the impulse to warn for nothing and have no clear boundaries with your audience, then get mad you curated the audience you curated. I hope it doesn't come across as me victim-blaming in the opposite direction, I don't think anyone deserves harassment regardless of if I disagree with what they post online. I kind of just mean to illustrate a counter example to the idea of the dni-haver making themself a target or inherently Being A Harasser.

[anomymoussoapbar]

I'm proship/profiction because I understand that the content somebody creates or is interested in isn't a perfect reflection of how they are irl.

I trust that other proshippers understand how to separate fiction and reality.

I'm anti-censorship; I won't make any exceptions because we've seen in history that once you start making exceptions, it can lead to queer media also being demonized and banned (the best I can think off the top of my head is the trans institute that existed in nazi Germany, which had so many amazing trans resources, getting destroyed by nazis).

I believe people should be able to use art as an outlet for anything. Not every single thing in life needs to be censored, and people do often use art to process feelings and experiences.

I'm against harassing people for their art. Not only does harassing some internet stranger sound like a waste of time, it's bullying too. I don't want to be a bully.

I believe in "don't like, don't look, don't interact" (my own variation of don't like don't read). I have tools to block people and hide content I don't want to see. I'm going to use them. I am responsible for curating my own online experience.

I've seen people online who use proshipping as a coping mechanism. I don't understand how that's possible, but that doesn't really matter so long as those people are safe. I wouldn't deny a victim their coping mechanism unless it endangered their life because that's against my beliefs and I'm not a therapist, so that wouldn't even be my place to speak. I've noticed antis don't like these kinds of victims because they don't fit into the antis' perfect boxes of how they think victims should be, so they often harass and bully and claim victims need therapy/need better therapists. I find this ridiculous because in my and many other's experiences, therapy is inherently proship/profiction and antis ignore this/claim it's not true (idk how you can do that if you're not a psychologist but they're too far gone to argue with). And they don't even offer to pay for the therapy, lol.

Thank you for making this blog and being curious, you're amazing. Sorry that this is kinda long lol

Hello!!! :*)

Thank you so so so much for your views.

I find it interesting how you listed it and specifically how you explained "don't like don't look don't interact" [I really like how you phrased it :*)] which I myself see me doing a lot.

When I read through your explanation, I began getting vaguely reminded of those internet safety PSAs they would make kids watch when you are younger, of curating your own safe environment.

How to report bullying, and to not harass others online as well being points that made me think of those internet safety PSAs LOL

Something I find myself thinking about is on how a lot of what fiction can affect reality is a concern long ago that was likely brought by concerns by parents who were against video games saying it promoted violence.

I also find the idea of fictionally dark themes interesting, as I have realized I. Do often indulge in dark medias. In an oddly comforting way.

I really don't like how people harass proshippers, or anyone in general. And from what I have been gathering, not all proshippers indulge in dark thematics. Perhaps the majority, but the proshipping idea is simply respecting even if you dont share it.

Also, when you mentioned people not being exactly how they write or the creations they make, I realized how a lot of mainstream medias follow this. The creator of most Studio ghibli movies is COMPLETELY different from the peppy and cute movies he makes and the creator of popular horror Manga Junji ito makes a lot of horror visuals and grotesque stories however is just a sweet guy in real life.

I know I bring it up a lot in my posts, but a lot of why media can be triggering for me and sickening is when I see what reminds me of my own traumatic experiences [S/A /COCSA and grooming.] And how no matter how much I filter, it will always end up appearing.

As it makes me physically sick, revolted, and sadly reminds me of what I've so deeply buried.

However, I am ONE side of the S/A survivor victim experience and spectrum. The other is people who find comfort in exploring their feelings and it helps them understand on what happened to them.

And I love art. I express myself through art. I used to draw what happened to me and draw out how I felt with characters. But it would make me feel so much worse. As I am and was at the mental point of connecting so hard to the fictional reality which I built to be so much better than I was in.

I don't really know why I'm saying all of this, I guess I just want to lead to the fact that every survivor has their way of coping, and mine isn't the same as everyone else's. And I am still learning to accept that and educate myself on it. Because I do. I really do want to understand and take away my own personal stigmas.

I have so much more I would love to add but I feel I have been rambling for too long LOL

Oh my goodness I'm so sorry for ranting but anyways, thank you so much for the ask and informing me in this much detail. You are so so loved and appreciated. 💞🌸

[hells-greatestdad]

Just your local lassie dog letting you know that you curate your space and you have tools with which to do this

You have the option to block tags. You can ask people to tag stuff. You can block people who drama monger. You can shut off anons and DMs.

Use these. Use them liberally. Especially when stuff begins to affect your mental health.

Now - no shaming here. As someone with mental conditions (most notably OCD) that make online drama a special type of nightmare that means I feel strongly compelled to fixate and obsess over the drama: I get it.

I have legitimately had panic attacks and autistic meltdowns over online drama.

No judgement. I understand. But please - for your health. Walk away. Let toxic people not have the satisfaction of getting under your skin.

I also realize this suggestion doesn't stop it all in cases where you are being mobbed. And they have a way of making you feel there's a need to defend yourself.

I get it.

I've been there to a lesser degree.

Once was being mass bullied by members of the furry fandom over a political view I had expressed at the time and refused to back down on nor be bullied into silence. I ignored them and after about a week they got bored and let me be.

[nyxelestia]

I'm probably going to fuck up the phrasing, so apologies in advance if I come across as weird, but I stumbled upon your blog and I really appreciate the nuanced takes you have with fandom because the whole anti/pro thing is so polarized and it made me feel a little bit insane because I felt like you can't really talk about issues in depiction/treatment of characters without getting labeled as an anti.

Thank you!

Yeah, the internet sadly encourages to think in really binary terms, and reality is rarely ever so extreme or simple.

I tend to have a lot of sympathy for antis, but that's coming from a combination of a.) history and b.) social media cynicism.

On the history side: while Prohibition was largely ineffective, had awful ramifications for how Americans approach intoxicants, and the movement was ultimately overtaken by religious extremists, a lot of people forget that it was started by women as an attempt to counteract domestic violence. A lot of women noticed violence happened a lot more when men were drunk, and tried to curb drinking as a result. It spectacularly misunderstood the true source of that violence, but it was also a rational conclusion to arrive at, given what they observed and the information they had access to at the time.

Now the social media side: the prevalence of antis makes a lot more sense when you realize that a.) most of them are teenage girls, frequently sharing classrooms with b.) boys whose opinions on relationships, sex, and sexuality have been heavily shaped by toxic influencers like Jordan Peterson and Andrew Tate, and by the amount and type of porn they consume. Porn is getting more violent - not in the sense that kinky porn is getting "worse", but that aggression and violence is getting increasingly normalized in vanilla porn targeted at young men. Combine that with the rise of the alt-right, and it's no wonder that lots of teen girls blame porn and social media content for the increased misogyny they are observing or experiencing on a day to day basis - and, lacking the understanding of where it's really coming from, they're lashing out at the 'porn and content producers' they have the easiest access to (which is us).

On top of all this, most of our social media platforms make it increasingly difficult for people to curate their own experiences. Just blocking content you don't like means absolutely nothing if the majority of your experience on the Internet is apps shoving things onto your phone/screen on the basis of it being tangentially potentially related to your interests.

These kids can't do much about the rise of misogynist influencers, violence in porn, or algorithmic internet experiences, just like late 19th/early 20th century women couldn't do much about patriarchy, trauma, or economic turmoil.

That doesn't mean I think any of them are right, by the way, nor does it mean I'm trying to downplay the harms their puritanical harassment campaigns have on people. What I am trying to say is that I disagree with most proshippers on why the anti movement exists. It's been overtaken by bullies, much like the American Prohibition movement got overtaken by religious zealots. But both the anti movement and the Prohibition was started by women who were afraid of the men in their lives and using whatever tools they had at their disposal to solve the problem at the nearest visible source.

[psalacanthea]

Hey! Remember my awesome friends. If fandom starts to make you feel like you're enjoying a character wrong, creating art/fic wrong, or you need to be afraid of other people in fandom lest you get targeted by them...you're following the wrong people!

Unfollow! Block! Find greener pastures. This is for fun, and if it's causing you stress, you need to take the power into your hands. If your fandom group makes you feel like bullying is okay or morally correct, then you need to run lest they turn you into one of them. It's SO easy to become a bully on social media, or to be used as a tool by bullies who insist you're 'one of the good ones who does fandom correctly'. Don't join the crowd.

They will turn on you, too, if you step out of line.

Fandom negativity is a ball and chain that will drag you down and kill your joy, and it's up to you to break the links that pin you to it.

If something people in fandom do annoys you, find your safe friends to complain to privately. Don't spread it! Bitch and move on, as the gods intended.

If you create or reblog that post making fun of or attacking other fans, you never know who you might be hurting, and what art you might be stifling.

Curate your space.

Block! Unfollow! Don't reblog attacks! Take care of yourself and your tumblr follower friends!

🖤

[stevishabitat]

This is what happens when a tool created by Black folks gets appropriated to the wider internet.

Black folks wanted to have conversations online without white people inserting themselves and offering opinions about things that were frankly none of their business.

So you would see variations on "white people DNI" on posts particularly about things like colorism, misogynoir, Black LGBTQIA+ issues, etc.

The DNI wasn't on their personal profile or a pinned post or something. It was on the specific post to let people know that although the post was public for everyone to see, it wasn't for Everyone to Comment On.

And of course, like everything else on the internet, it spread beyond the Black creators to everyone else - without the cultural context. DNI disclaimers were added to everything from queer topics and feminism, to sports and media fandom.

To the point where you had posts with "X Character Stans DNI".

But at least it was still on the posts themselves, or in tags, so you could see that this particular post, wherever you happened to come across it, was meant for a particular audience. If you didn't fall in that category, maybe just scroll on.

The jump to putting extensive and vague (or hyperspecific) DNI lists in your profile or on a pinned post or carrd or something... That's just so far outside the original intent.

The expectation that someone will 1. Look at that list before they follow you or respond to a post and 2. Actually do what's asked? Seems like a very strange thing to assume on the internet.

I mean, yeah maybe people will take it in good faith and be like "hmm maybe this person's stuff just isn't for me", but there are lots more bad faith people who will use that as an excuse to put their Troll Hat on and see if they can get a reaction from you.

If the thing you're putting in the DNI isn't that big a deal, then having a troll bother you with it might be annoying but not terrible. If you're listing things that are actually triggers for anxiety, a phobia, or ptsd? You are putting yourself at risk by publicizing it. Because bullies sniff that shit out like sharks on the hunt (see also: advertising that you're a teen 😱 don't do that!)

It's reasonable to list the topics you commonly post about, to give potential followers a heads up about what they're likely to see in your posts - in your profile or pinned post - especially if you aren't great at tagging.

Make that list clear and easy to find and read. That makes it easier for visitors/potential followers to decide if your blog is a good fit for them.

A simple line like "I reserve the right to block as I see fit" serves as enough warning that if people rub you the wrong way you aren't going to engage.

Honestly, you don't owe anyone on the internet a reason for blocking or filtering or using tags to curate your internet environment.

You don't owe any random stranger a welcome into your living room. You can say "No Thanks!" and firmly shut the door. If they try to shove letters through your door, you don't have to read them - put them straight in the recycle bin.

"xyz DNI" blocking people is YOUR job, sorry. You cannot ask the world to simply move around you, you have to take control of your online experience or you will be fucking miserable forever. Most people don't read your bio/pinned/carrd before touching the posts that cross their dash anyways.

Also maybe worry less about if someone who likes something you hate clicks on your tumblr post. I promise it is not that fucking serious.

Also-also if you have this DNI because your friends/moots said or implied you have to otherwise you're somehow Bad and/or will be punished by them if you don't, that's kind of fucked and maybe you need less controlling friends.

[azulas-daddy-kink]

Something I’ve noticed is those who ship Tyzula also tend to ship Zutara. (Bashing Aang and Mai with horrid takes that are completely out of character but I won’t get into that right now.)

I don’t know what it is with those two ships but many of those shippers are just so toxic. And before anyone comes for me MANY is not All. Likes it’s just so sad at how they are so loud and wrong, completely overshadowing the shippers who aren’t a problem.

And to the previous anon, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. No one deserves to be threatened over what they ship; or lack of shipping for that case, Azula being Asexual and Aromatic is perfectly fine. Those shippers are just going to have to learn that not everything on the internet is for them.

Blocking & ignoring content exists for a reason. Tumblr was not made solely for one person you have to make and find your own spaces, not bully others into quitting.

You're definitely right, Anon, I've noticed that a number of fic authors will put Tyzula and Zutara into the same story. So a good amount of people do ship both... and the crazy thing is that what I've gathered from talking to other people in fandom is that they weren't even bothered by either ship until they saw the way the shippers were acting, or until they were harassed by them.

Fandom these days is just a sad state of affairs. The toxic and abusive shippers completely drown out the normal ones.... sigh. It's exhausting and the other anon was right, it's getting to be impossible to avoid the bullshit because (and you're right on this as well) so many are treating the entirety of tumblr like it belongs to them and not using the self-curation tools they are provided with.

I guess this is just what happens when any ship or headcanon gets popular enough, people just go fucking insane.

Thanks for your thoughts, Anon. And to anyone else who may be reading, my ask box is always open so long as you're respectful.

[des8pudels8kern]

Looks like one of my favourite Star Wars writers got bullied off the internet. For... actually, I don't know. Something fannish.

What is wrong with people? Where does this hateful entitlement come from that any interpretation that does not align with theirs is wrong and may not exist? Do they think that online bullying isn’t real because it’s just online, or do they act the same way in rl? Words hurt, be they made of pixels or spoken directly into someone’s face.

In every community, there are some bad apples. I know this. Fandom has always had its dramas. But I feel like it’s gotten so much more expansive in recent years. Like intolerance has become so wide-spread that, for those who do create and thus position themselves one way or the other, fandom has become a minefield rather than a place to enjoy and escape to.

Please. If you find something you don’t like, scroll past. Backspace. X out. Block/blacklist the creator, if you want to - that’s what those functions are for. No one is forcing you to read what you don't want to. Curate your own online experience using all the tools you have at your disposal! But don’t harass and bully people. Treat them with the same common decency you want to be treated with and let them be. They (both the people and the ideas) have just as much a right to exist in fandom as you and yours.

Don’t like; don’t read.

Ship and let ship.

Your kink is not my kink (and that’s okay).

[alwaysthesitter]

This is going to be my last post about everything, honestly probably ever. And it's going to have some updates as to what this blog will look like in the future.

I don't condone call out culture. Clearly. It's in my rules. I'm having a lot of mixed feelings about what is going on, and quite frankly, I'd be a hypocrite if I was completely thrilled that someone else is being put through this, regardless of what they did to me. I don't want anyone to be harassed. I don't want anyone to be labeled "bad" or "good." All I really hope that the community takes away from this, is to ignore call out posts. Vague posts. Ignore them. Take them with a grain of salt. Get both sides of a story. Stop believing people at face value. Trust your own judgments of a person. It's one thing to be cautious, of course you want to stay safe, but if someone has been nothing but kind to you? Maybe you should just assume that they're kind, and let your experience be your tool for judgment. People can block people that they have issues with. You do not have to have issues with someone, just because someone else does. Everyone has different experiences with everyone. Let your experience define your judgment. I don't like that people are being called out right now, even if I'll fully admit that there's a moment of "this is justice." It feels gross. I've been there, I've been scared, it feels gross. Wanting a "bully" to be drug through the mud would just make me a bully in return. All I hope is that this experience helps people to realize to use logical thought, to not judge people based on one person's experience, and to curate their own space without making a space that others are telling them to.

What does this all mean for me in the future? Well, I'm not going anywhere. I've come to realize that you can be the nicest person in the world, and people are still going to think you're horrendous and toxic. You can be a manipulative person doing things behind people's back, and people are going to think you're fantastic and a savior to the community. I think that's pretty true in real life too, but especially in the rpc because people don't know the real you. They know a presentation you have on a screen, which depending on how active you are, might only be an hour of who you are in a day. It might only be you writing when you're having bad mental health and need a release. Who knows? That's the point, who knows. It doesn't make it any easier. It hurts like a damn bitch when someone you got to know well ooc and you LOVED writing threads with suddenly decides you're a bad person. Tears will be shed. Heartbreak will happen. But what I'm really focusing on is that I can only control me. It's what I tell my Clients all the time in my job - I can't control what people think about me, I can only control my actions. People are going to like me, people aren't going to like me. People are going to believe the statements being made, or people are going to see it as absolute bullshit.

With everything that has happened the past day or so, I got excited. I thought that maybe people would realize the error of everything, and they would refollow me. Some people did, and I can't explain how grateful I am, and how relieved I felt. And some people didn't. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. But I need to not put my energy into those people. I need to focus on the people that know my truth, will stick beside me, and enjoy those connections that I do have.

So yeah, I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to keep writing. The Duffers fucked over Steve, and he deserves it. He deserves to have this life. Every writer out there deserves to give characters they care about a life of their own. I can only prove myself through my actions. I can keep writing, and people will ideally see that my dash is very clear of the stuff that's been claimed. Or they won't. But if I'm doing me, I'm doing me, and that's all I can do. My apology is going to stay pinned for the month of November, just in case people do come back. Because I do want them to know how genuinely sorry I am for the things I did do. But after that, I'm going to pin my initial pinned post back, and move forward from this.

I love you all. I know there's a lot of feelings happening right now - trust me, the whirlwind of feelings in my own brain has been like whiplash. But tldr, just keep being you, keep doing you, keep writing beautiful characters, and the right people will come. And you will get to keep writing, regardless of this crap, because you deserve to be here. Everyone deserves to be here.

[silver-flame-alchemist]

I literally don't see posts with tags I've blocked. It just tells me that the post has the tag. And then I can choose for myself whether to view it or not.

I'm not out here telling people to shut up about what makes them happy or try to get it FLAGGED.

Rather than being a bully, why don't you try using the tools at your disposal to curate your experience AS INTENDED.

if you as a normal tumblr user go around flagging posts for mature labels you are A Fucking Cop

[circlique]

I will scream it to the heavens any chance I get; use tumblr’s built in tag and content filtering (look in your settings and add words/tags you don’t wanna see). If you need help with this DM ME I WILL HELP YOU SET IT UP!

Take control of your own internet experience. You have a right to feel comfortable in your own fandom space, but that responsibility falls on you to curate your experience through the blogs and tags you follow and blocking things you don’t want to see. It does not give you the right to demand other people don’t post things you don’t like, or to tell people they’re scum for shipping or liking something that bothers you. It does not give you the right to smear people who are enjoying fandom in their own way because their way makes you personally uncomfortable. There are so many built in tools and browser extensions at your disposal to help you maintain a comfortable fandom experience! You can’t blame others!

Bullying and anon messages directed at people who engage in fandom in a way you don’t like are not appropriate. Take some personal responsibility and stop blaming others for fandom toxicity.

[leqclerc]

diff anon but i agree bcs i had similar experience! 2019 was hell, some ppl on here even refuse to speak of charles by name when talking about him. it was so hard to find ppl who support both seb & charles. but my IRL friends don't know F1, i usually also watch with my dad but he's just a casual fan, so sticking it out here is the only option. now the atmosphere is much better, in part bcs of blogs like you! thank you for simply spreading good vibes & positive energy ❤ (& sebchal worms ofc 👀😳)

Ah, thank you 💕🥺 I’m happy that I can help in some small way! And yes, the worms are vital 👀👀

I’ve heard the same thing, yeah. :/ I understand having favourites - and, equally, having people/characters you just can’t stand - but for the most part if I don’t like someone I just...don’t blog about them? Whereas I feel like some people absolutely revel in their hatred and vitriol and take more pleasure in tearing down the person they dislike (and their fans) than they do talking about things they actually enjoy. 

I have to say I’ve been in...worse fandoms in terms of fan behaviour, where bullying was “normalised” by people who felt they had the moral high ground and that their horrific behaviour was somehow “justified” because they were the self-appointed good guys...where influential groups/users actively encouraged witch hunts and harassment and sending threats and all of that disgusting stuff. I’ve seen far too many real people be hurt and made to feel unsafe and uncomfortable in fandom spaces because some of the more rabid fans felt the need to defend fictional characters to the point they blurred the lines between reality and fiction, and on top of that felt absolutely no remorse. But that’s less of a compliment and I guess more of a commentary on what’s, unfortunately, seen as “normal” in certain fandoms/fan communities and...honestly it’s horrifying and inexcusable. 

Not to mention the past year has been extremely difficult for a lot of people for a variety of reasons. Many people use fandoms as an escape or respite from their real lives, to talk about the thing they love and share or make content. So I would never want to contribute to making this a negative, unsafe space for anybody, because no one deserves that, regardless of what they ship or who they support. There’s an actual person behind that screen, and some people should really think twice before typing something that could potentially have massive consequences. 

But also...I think everyone’s entitled to curating their own online experience by utilising the tools that are there for that purpose. If there’s content out there that’s upsetting to you, or that you’re just tired of seeing, there are ways of filtering tags, either through Tumblr’s built-in feature or third party extensions like XKit. If someone’s behaviour is upsetting to you, there’s always the block feature. It’s not personal, and it doesn’t make you a bad person or anything. Those tools are there for a reason. Just because it’s online doesn’t mean it’s not real or that it can’t hurt, or that your trauma is somehow less valid. Take care of yourself, always 💕

[ofmdsalt]

hey op!

i've been noticing some of the same behaviours you've outlined here. there's a lot of bad fandom etiquette here and i've outlined it into 4 points

Poisoning the Well: this stems from feeling the need to comment on everything happening with the fandom. so this often seems like people commenting on things they see on Twitter and then want to make more discourse about it on Tumblr which only creates more issues and i don't think it's actually solving anything other than generating more controversy

Fandom Policing: this fandom has such a weird relationship with canon, fanon, headcanon, ships, and just interpretation in general. i've never seen such takes of people finding X ship "distressing" or "disturbing". like learn to use block lists. learn to block tags. learn to use tools at your disposal rather than getting on a soap box and preaching to everyone on the street corner about why they're bad.

Weaponizing the Language of Social Justice: this is where i'm going to take a more cautious approach. in general, i do think being aware of the things we create and consume is good. however. often times the language of social justice and progressive ideals gets weaponized by people to assert that they're like better than other people?? and this doesn't help when the people that this type of language is used against are often marginalized folks themselves. all to uphold FICTIONAL CHARACTERS over being a decent human being to others. (and as an aside: some of these fictional characters result from a process of historical revisionism and interpretation which is never a good look. i mean hey! it happened with the Hamilton musical and fandom as well. more on that another day lol)

Dumb Internet Slap Fighting: this fandom has moved on from direct approaches of dialogue to like vague blogging about people. and that's fine. that's whatever. but i think blogs like canonizzyhours has outlived its purpose and has become an anonymous forum for people to just bitch about stuff and affording them anonymity and no push back. now it's taking screenshots and cropping out blog names and avatars to better hide who we're talking about just so we can continue Internet Slap Fighting. (and at least this has moved away from including names which has resulted in doxxing, harassment, and other really bad things, and yes i know people who have been bullied out of this fandom)

i find these topics interesting but i've seen so many people declare they're leaving the fandom because these types of behaviours are exhausting. being taken out of context. having to constantly justify why you're writing X in a certain way. all so people can have this moral authority over the interpretation of the text when fandom is supposed to be a sandbox. let people play in it and stop throwing mud at each other lol

anyway: don't like don't read. block people whose opinions you don't like. curate your fandom experience. be curious, be critical, but also have fun

Know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of a few fans posting every other fucking day about how some other fans are fandoming wrong, because those fans don't like the same character/in the same way that they do. And somehow it becomes an issue of racism, because fuck if they'll allow stanning of a white guy (funny enough, the only time I've seen race mentioned), not on their fucking watch, nosirree.

And somehow it's the wrong-fandoming-fans' fault that you fine, upstanding citizen fans have to post about this shit AGAIN because it happened AGAIN and you know, I can't remember the last time I saw the outright racist posts in the tags, so I must be curating Tumblr extremely well in that regard (wait... is it ON Tumblr, or is it somewhere else on the internet, but you brought it HERE?), at least. But I still see the regularly scheduled "Fandom was mean again" posts, so. Maybe not that good.

I'm fucking sick of it, and I don't care if this upsets them/you too, so allow me to be specific. I've read too many hypocritical essays on how Izzy fans/Canyon are doing it wrong/never shut up/missing the point/bad people who should feel bad/promoting oppression of insert-group-here (FYI, I belong to some of those groups, so - fucking don't even start it with me) ... yet those essays always have dozens of notes of agreement on them. We all know -ism is bad, we all fucking know that, but I swear some of you act like you're getting points for how many times you point it out.

Judging by the dozens of notes, maybe you are.

I know mine is not going to be the popular opinion, I know I'll get shit, I know you'll dismiss me as a troll, I don't care. I'm not having fun in Tumblr OFMD fandom anymore. You've helped to make it not fun. This constant infighting has got to fucking stop.

As you(generic policing fans) like to point out: it's a SHOW. With characters written/acted to entertain us. Some of them are going to be your favorite, and some of them are not ( I fucking hate Calico Jack, some people love him, that's okay) .

Canyon? Same to you.

Is there another group, non-Ed-non-Izzy, that needs to hear this message? Listen the fuck up:

LIKE WHAT YOU LIKE.

LET PEOPLE LIKE THE SHIT THEY LIKE.

Believe it or not, these two things can be done simultaneously. Stop reading shit into what other people are doing/saying, fucking ignore/block them if they bother you so goddamn much, and get the fuck on with enjoying the fandom the way you want to enjoy it. Let's all just fucking love us some gay pirates. It's what we're all here for.

...and if the way you want to enjoy it, is to ruin other people's enjoyment, then you can just fuck right the hell off. Thank you for your cooperation.

[crusty]

I know there's not much I can do to fix the fandoms I'm in, but airing out my issues with it currently usually helps. I know I've been all over the place the past couple years and I've said some dumb shit, but I've been trying my best to make some real changes in how I think fandom should be. Now, when I'm at fault I apologize. It's more honorable to apologize when you've wronged someone than to be prideful and continue to spout shit outta your mouth like a leaky, rotten faucet.

I know sometimes my image can be misconstrued, and people might just see me as just a loud rude asshole, but in actuality... I'm a loud rude asshole who still cares a LOT about his friends, mutuals, and the kids/teens in the fandom that get kicked around by all the dickbags who think they're tough shit.

A lot of discourse happening nowadays is trying to split everyone up, even if we all have many things in common. The internet is a LOT bigger than it was in the past, and a lot of adults on here ain't too keen on sharing it. They'll blame the kids and their parents for shit instead of being a responsible adult and just being respectful.

Minors in fandom learn from us. If anything I want my page and my content to be open to people 13+.

All of my adult content I usually never post now because either it's not allowed on the site, or I post it under some other name. You know, like a responsible adult should do.

As for fandom drama, stay out of it if it isn't your business. If it BECOMES your business, talk to someone you trust about it. As the internet becomes more hostile, sometimes it's hard to know who's really your friend and who's... Not. We shouldn't be scared to stand up for others, and if you're the type of person to let your friend be harassed by some fuckwad with like 6k followers, then you suck too for not sticking up for them.

The internet shouldn't be like you're in middle school, or high school, with petty locker room drama. Utilize your tools. Block. Mute. Take note of toxic users who do nothing but bring you down and block them. Block their friends too if you have to. People with similar views stick together.

Breaking away from the status quo is. Difficult. It can be really hard to lose mutuals and friends who turned out not to like you as much because you don't have a big following, or a loud enough voice. But once you do break away, you'll meet others who did the same. Those people are your real friends.

TLDR; My main rules for the internet and being in fandom are as follows:

1. Be respectful of others' boundaries. Do this in multiple ways; adults, respect young users who arnt comfy with adults. Respect young users who are, and set necessary boundaries between yourselves. Be a good role model.

Kids, respect adults being adults in their spaces, you'll get there someday too. Also kids, watch over your friends. Make sure they're not straying away too far where they shouldn't.

2. Respect others' opinions. Harmless opinions of course, like if someone hates your fav, who cares! Its fiction, they're not killing you. Ships don't really matter in real life. Learn to step away from the internet if its stressing you out. Agree to disagree. You can be friends and not like the same things! It's called not being a jerkass!

3. BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK! Use your block/mute/kick etc features to curate your feed to your liking. Someone pissing you off with their constant negativity ? You can try talking to them, but you arnt obligated to. Block them! Boom. You feel so much better. Mute and block words related to things you dislike,hate,squick or trigger you. Feels good too. See someone being suspicious or creepy? Block them. Tell your friends.

4. Have fun. Just be yourself! Cringe culture is bullshit, so do what makes you happy. You'll find friends and good times. Ignore anon hate, delete it! I wish I did LOL

Anyways, that's it for now. I had a lot on my mind, and needed to get this out. If this helps you? GOOD. If you're troubled and need to talk to someone, send me a dm. I've dealt with plenty of childhood bullying, adult bullying, and online harassment. From someone who gets it, I'll help as much as I can. Thanks.