#useless storytime

[toadmancer]

WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS

[hanlight]

Bickering charlos is the best charlos.

[ratguy-nico]

So, why did I feel the sudden need to open commission, it is a funny story

Story short:

I have three more mouths to feed now (puppy mouths) so I need money.

Story long:

For those who dont know, I have a dog, Bruno, he is the love of my life, he is seven years old and even though I love dogs I always just planed on living with him, he was my ride or die guy.

But a couple of weeks ago, two puppies (a black boy and a yellow girl) were abandoned just a block from my house, they were pretty so I was sure they would be quickly adopted, I just go check on them with other neighbors waiting for them to get a home.

The girl was adopted just a week later, but her brother wasn't, there was still time so just keep checking.

Than suddenly a third puppy appears (a yellow boy) and start playing with the other boy, but that one dissapears too a couple of days later. So we felt sad after that and decide to adopt the little black one.

And just when we were going back home with him, the yellow boy come running to us and demmand to be taken too. So we did. Two puppies, that couldn't be that bad, right?

Than last week, all of a sudden, a little girl came by the house with the black one's sister, and ask me if I could adopt her cause their parents end up not wanting her.

They have had here for almost a month, and than decided to throw her away again. The rage and disgust I felt.

So now I have a dog and 3 puppies to take care of, I was thinking on given two or at least one away, but they are so happy together.

When the siblings reunited they became inseparable, and the third puppy plays with them as his other brother.

Even my dog now plays with them, and Bruno is like me, he is a total antisocial.

I still live with my mom in a big house, so is not imposible for me to have them, but I'm in a bad job, my boss doesn't like me and frequently cut my shifts off, so I dont make that much money, and since they are still puppies I need to get them check by the vet and got their shots, and the sterilization (having babies is so much money)

So yeah, I thought I could made a little extra cash. I need to be a responsible daddy.

here they are:

The black one is Ronin as in a vagrant samurai without a master

The yellow one (completly yellow) is Charlie for Hearstopper, I kno he looks more like Nick, but my sister like Charlie.

and the other yellow one with the black snout is Fanin for Dungeon Meshi, my fav anime of the moment, she is a fierce and resilient dragon.

I know Ronin should be name Laios but my family didn't allowed, too much Dungeon Meshi.

[sparkledst4r]

i just want to say

Y'all FUCK this movie, the trailer came in the theatre before the film i was watching and the clip were the nun reachs for the girl got me screaming in the theatre and the worst part the i was the only one screaming like my brother flinched and the other ppl also shaked a bit , but nah i decided to fill the EMPTY SOUNDLESS theatre with my frog ass scream, hopefully I'll recover from this.

[terdiscussie]

What's your favorite Ghost and Dark type pokémon?

I forgot I had this!!! But I understand that I forgot. I have a hard time picking favorites so I was probably thinking about it and got distracted lol. Anyway, thank you for asking anon 😇

My favorite Ghost type.... I think Gengar or Chandelure? But also Giratina, they are very strong hehe.

My favorite Dark type is much easier, it has to be Darkrai. Special mention to Meowscarada (my starter from Scarlet) and Umbreon (favorite shiny, she's the coolest).

[cryptid-wizard]

It is 4 am and i have school tomorrow but I’m up because I had to draw gay animals as homework and I just couldn’t focus in the day even tho J had literally nothing else to do

[imsorryimednostic]

RANT STORYTIME

So I've always been a LOYAL Shoppers Drug Mart customer, and PC Optimum point collector, but I _always_ lost my card before I ever got to spend my points. Whoops!

Today, I am in DESPERATE need of Midol (P.S. Midol really needs to add calmatives, because I AM F**KING T-REX). So I go and it takes me forever to find it because it's NOT IN THE PAIN RELIEF SECTION. And who the f**k calls feminine products "FEMININE PAPER"?

*clutches at her invisible fucking pearls* HOW DARE YOU CALL IT PRODUCTS OR F**KING PADS/TAMPONS? And why is the Midol NOT in the 'FEMININE PAPER' aisle OR the freaking 'PAIN RELIEF' aisle? Like, LOOK AT ALL THAT PAIN RELIEF PRODUCT. But, no.

It's with the freaking PREGNANCY TESTS. Sidenote, if you're taking Midol, it's pretty unlikely you're F**KING PREGNANT. Oh yeah, and see if you can spot it. A woman who's in pain, pissed, and NOT IN THE MOOD, does not want to be reaching for where it is.

Also, hey, I was excited because we worked up a lot of points, and I was like, "YAS, finally get to spend points, and I won't have to spend any of my own money." That's not the way this works. NO. So my bill came to $15.24. And it gives you the option to pay with your PC Optimum points! YAY! So I press that and it says I still owe them $5.24. I'm sorry, I what? Why? Why don't my f**king points, that I spend LOTS of money in this f**king store for not cover the whole f**king thing?

And a lady comes up and is offers to help, and I was like,

"Why can't I just pay with my points?" And she goes,

"You did!"

"WELL OBVIOUSLY NOT BECKY, BECAUSE THERE'S STILL $5.24 STILL ON THE BILL."

"Well, it's just $5.24."

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT, BECKY. BUT WHAT IF I DIDN'T _HAVE_ THE $5.24 AND WAS RELYING ON THE POINTS? WHY CAN'T I PAY WITH MY POINTS FOR THE WHOLE PURCHASE?"

"I'll go ask--"

"No, it's fine, nevermind." -pays and leaves-

I officially no longer like PC Optimum Points OR SHOPPERS FOR THAT FACT. F**K YOU for making us spend HARD EARNED MONEY IN YOUR STORE and GIVING US FREAKING COUPONS for $10-$20 off when you know FOR SURE, you're the most expensive pharmacy/drugstore/medical supply store and wannabe 'beauty boutique' in F**KING CANADA.

P.S. WHY DO YOU KEEP TAKING THE ONLY SHAMPOOS I LIKE OFF THE SHELVES? FIRST HERBAL ESSENCES TOTALLY TWISTED and THEN HERBAL ESSENCES BIRCH BARK EXTRACT?

P.P.S. F**K YOU.

P.P.P.S. Midol Canada YOUR NEW DESIGN SUCKS A$$. Seriously who are you paying for this kind of design? SHAME.

[moonlightduelist]

did no one gif the part in this weeks tgfc episode where hua cheng meets the heavenly officials? as if that’s not the funniest line in the entire novel?

[gilettefusion5]

Why are all of Naraku’s demons all long and wiggly? You’d think if he were as strong as he say he is that he could at least control a few dozen demons with arms

[y3ager]

STORYTIME I (26 F) FUCKED MY SUPERSTAR CLIENT (24 M) AFTER MONTHS OF SEXUAL TENSION!

— ‘i’m a manager for a pretty big music label and my client is the biggest dickhead in the world but i fear i fucked him after one of our usual arguments.. 😵‍💫’

eren y. x black!fem!reader

tags: modern au, smut, porn not much plot, hate(?)sex, cunnilingus, cowgirl, reader gets called ‘mama’ and ‘boss’, unprotected sex, mild choking, musician!eren, manager!reader. minors do not interact.

my first collab entry MAKE SOME NOISE YALL WTF!!! but no seriously thanks so much to @k9nto for letting me join your event i had a blast writing this! hope you all enjoy! 🤭

YOU’VE ENCOUNTERED SOME annoying people in your life. in kindergarten, a boy taunted you by picking up one your fallen hot pink knocker-balls and refusing to give it back to you. in high school, some chick named tiffany ripped down all of your junior class president posters that you spent weeks designing and printing out on the highest quality paper. your college advisor had been completely useless, you’d still be dragging yourself through your bachelor’s degree if you didn’t stay on your toes and realize the classes you were dropped in were a waste of time. but all of these people, and many more that have slipped your mind, shaped and molded you into the woman you were today. strong, tenacious, independent, a go-getter who never gave up and thus was able to reap her hard work, in the form of three nice crisp degrees and a never pitiful bank account.

but eren yeager, grammy award winning singer, songwriter and musician, with multiple weeks spent at the top of the billboard hot 100 and 200 charts, millions of units sold worldwide, and stadiums packed to the brim, took the fucking cake.

you were warned he’d be difficult. every manager he’s assigned quits before one of them ends up in a body bag. none of them have a single nice thing to say about him, and he finds that hilarious.

for better or for worse, you took the challenge because you’re a sucker for them. nothing in life comes easy, and you figured that the managers before just didn’t come hard enough. maybe eren’s fame and status made them falter, but such a fate wouldn’t befall you.

you dragged him to his magazine shoots, you kept his mouth in line during interviews, you kept his socials clean. he was never a second late to rehearsals and recordings. he was a reflection of you, and if you were perfect goddammit he was going to be too.

until today.

“i’m not putting in another extension, eren. the label is starting to get really irritable. we need to go to the studio now.” you furiously swiping along your ipad, pacing around the singer’s deluxe hotel room. while you’re dressed for the day in clean crisp clothes, sharp stilettos, and jet black lace front expertly melted and laid, eren’s still in the bed. the covers are everywhere, his shirt is next to a couple pillows on the floor, and he’s laying on his back eating a croissant from room service, paying you absolutely no mind. it takes everything in you to not chuck your device at his big head. “i’m serious. get. up.”

“and i said i’m not,” he mocks your assertive tone, voice oozing in sarcasm. “going.” he coughs, obviously faking. “my voice hurts. can’t make those greedy bastards money if my vocal chords ache. they’ll live.”

“you are on a strict deadline this era. if you want to catch award season, this album needs to be finished and dropped in the next month. amidst the press tour, your window of recording time is dwindling fast.” dates in your digital calendar glare at you, red and angry. every time you check something off your to do, ten new things pop up. you feel your jaw clenching, teeth gritting together uncomfortably.

“i’ve won enough awards. i don’t care. i’m not getting up.” eren finally raises up from the bed, narrowed green eyes meeting yours. it’s fire against fire, an unstoppable force that is a manager determined to do her job versus an immovable object, a musician who’s not budging from his spot. “it’s my album. it’s my music. i finish it when the fuck i get ready. that label will burn before they drop me.”

“if you don’t follow contract, they will drop you. they put a lot of money into you-”

“money i made back for those dumbasses-!”

“they are your bosses, without them-”

“they need me way more than i need them-!”

“get,” you toss your ipad over to a small couch, storming over to the bed. you snatch the edge of the covers and yank hard. enough is enough. if he won’t get up, you’ll make him get up. “the fuck out of this bed, eren, now!”

“you need,” the cover is yanked back, tugging you forward along with it. you lurch momentarily before righting yourself upwards, leaning back to give yourself more leverage in this childish tug of war you find yourself in. “to calm the fuck down, ___. i’m not going and that’s fucking it.” eren may be lean, but he’s toned like a MMA fighter, muscles rippling under tan skin when he calls upon them. another tug and you topple onto the california king bed, one expensive heel sliding off your foot and falling across the room.

your heads snaps up from the covers, brow furrowed deep in anger. “stop being so fucking difficult, you moron!” emotions welling, you grab one of his arms, preparing to drag him out of this bed. your to do list is a nagging itch on your brain that by the grace of god you are going to scratch. you’re not about to let this bad-with-authority dickhead best you when all he has to do is record a fucking vocal.

“oh, we’re doing this?” easily, too easily, so easily that you register your back hitting the soft bed before you realized he even grabbed you back. he pins you down easily, slightly calloused hands grip your upper arms firmly, pushing them down. he places his legs other either side of your hips so yours are forced in between them, but doesn’t keep you from writhing to free yourself. “whatever fucking—stop doing that—chip you have on your shoulder, you need to fucking solve it because shit’s not going your way today. i’m not going and that is final.”

the tussle leaves you two of you panting, eyes boring into each other’s. eren’s long chocolate brown hair is disheveled not only from a night’s sleep but from this impromptu wrestle. small beads up sweat trickle down his naked chest. your writhe again, and he presses down against you, a synonymous hiss sliding through both of your mouths.

“i hate you, eren.”

“whatever helps you sleep at night, ___. looks like you wanted an excuse to feel up on me.”

“oh, like you wanted an excuse to hump me like a mutt?”

there’s another beat of silence as you two watch each other. eren’s hands tighten their hold just a tad before he presses his hardening length hard against your clothed cunt. against your better judgement, your head tilts back and a small moan fights against your bitten bottom lip.

eren hums lowly, his dick bulging against the constraint of his boxers. “hate me too much to actually fuck me, huh? i’m only worth a dry hump.”

oh how eren frustrates you. how he makes even the simplest things in life painstakingly difficult. how he makes you want to smoke ten packs of cigarettes after a day of dealing with him. but oh, how handsome he looks under the lights at photo shoots. how his deep, smooth voice reverbs in your ears. how his fingers move so deftly on his guitar, as if it’s merely an extension of his body. who wouldn’t fantasize about that late at night, him bending you over and snatching down your pants to fuck the stress out of you, or yourself knocking him down a peg and making him beg to let you cum inside.

“shut-” another roll of his hips makes you gasp. “up..”

“i want you, ___,” eren confesses. his hips don’t falter, his cock becoming hungry for release. “i want that pussy. i wanna fuck that little attitude out of you, can i? i see how you look at me and i stare right back.”

you shiver, hand rushing to undo your dress pants and feel more of eren’s dick against your dampening cunt. his hands work with your perfectly, yanking your pants down. it’s a whirlwind of clothes, your sweater, bra, your other shoe.

eren reaches up to grab your breasts, rolling them in his palms, squeezing the supple flesh, pushing them together. “oh, pretty girl. pretty fuckin’ tits.” leaning down, he kisses down your sternum, stomach, inching closer and closer to your center. he wastes no time grabbing your thighs and licking a nice, long stripe against your drooling cunt and sucking on your clit.

your back immediately arches up and your hands fly to grip eren’s hair, tugging at the locks and pulling him in closer so you can feel everything. “oh my god, eren.” the singer’s not shy at all, audibly sucking at you and reaching up to twist and pinch your pebbled nipples.

with another languid lick eren pulls himself away. he pulls his boxers down on and off, freeing his dick from the constraint. he rubs the thick, weeping tip up and down your slit, staring hungrily at the juices leaking out. the feeling of it makes you shiver in anticipation.

“mmm, mm-mm.” you push yourself up. “let me get ‘n top..” there’s a greedy look in your low eyes as you place your hand on eren’s solid chest and lay him down on the bed.

“take charge here too, huh?” your forwardness makes him chuckle as he watches you straddle his waist. “okay then. ride me.”

you brace yourself on your toes as his hand and yours grasp his shaft, directing it to your pulsing hole. you slide down gingerly onto him, his size quickly stretching you out. “ahh, fuck, eren. fuck…”

“you got it,” he assures you, one hand on your thigh as you sink lower and lower, taking him in inch by inch. he bites his lip at the wet tightness of your walls, squeezing and sucking him in. it makes him throw his head back, a couple of small pants escaping his mouth. “mmhm, fuck that pussy feels so good. take that dick, boss.” his hand raises only to land on your ass check with a sharp slap.

you start out slow at first, letting yourself adjust to the wideness of his dick but that quickly gets old. you’re soon addicted to the feeling of him fitting inside so perfectly. gripping his free hand in yours, you swivel and raise your hips faster and faster, effortlessly, desperate for that feeling of him pounding that oh so sweet spot. your juices slide down his length, the slap slap slap of your ass against his muscled thighs filling the room. “‘s so big, feels so good,” your voice slurs.

eren hisses from his spot under you, eyes trained on where you two connect. mouth slightly agape, he watches your cunt swallow him up and the fluid that leaks out. “yes, mama. keep fucking me just like that. feels.. f-fuckin’ amazin’…” his hands grab your plump ass cheeks, fingers digging in hard as he thrusts his hips up, driving the tip of his cock even deeper inside you and pulling a loud moan from you. “keep goin, mama, ‘m almost there, don’t stop, please..”

his pleading make you clench even tighter around him, and that feeling deep inside your tummy aches for release. you place a hand around his throat to better balance yourself, relishing in his low groan. your thighs quake and tremble, your hips meeting his eager thrust perfectly. “oh, my god; oh my god. i’m— shit!” you throw your head back in ecstasy, cumming hard enough on your client’s dick to leave you numb.

“aw, fuck, boss.” eren thrusts up to push his cum deep inside, holding you against himself to ensure a single drop doesn’t leak. “take it, take it..”

the two of you are left panting hard, bodies sweaty and gleaming with the afterglow of sex. you gingerly pull away, cunt left sore and spent from a round of sex months in the making. eren reaches over to caress your ebon lips, admiring the smooth, wet feeling once you roll onto your back. “no more attitude from you, yeah?”

“no more attitude from the man reduced to calling me ‘mama’ and begging to cum either, i’d assume.” your teasing laughter is cut off by him purposefully sinking three fingers deep inside you. “mmh…”

“mhm, sure.” roles reversed, eren climbs on top of you and stares down with green eyes aflame with lust through his tousled brown hair. “now i want to see what i can make you call me.”

[utilitycaster]

You know the meta I said I'd write that people would be weird about? Or even if you didn't? Here we go: welcome to "Caleb was in love with Jester, but the fact that this was unrequited is what makes this so crucial to his story."

Caleb developed romantic feelings for Jester fairly early in Campaign 2; the turning point is widely considered to be when they dance together when he's drunk in Hupperdook and she helps put him to bed. He nursed these feelings secretly for much of the campaign. Liam also outright stated, in the famous "bisexual maestrom" quote on Talks, that he also had some degree of romantic feelings or sexual attraction towards Essek, Astrid, and Eadwulf, concurrently.

Caleb also considered these feelings for Jester to be "useless". Liam used that exact term on Talks [Discussing 2x96], and stated at that time that Caleb felt Beau or Fjord would be a better partner for Jester. He saw his feelings as a "problem"; they interfered with his other plans.

The song "She" by Dodie, which was initially on Liam's playlist for Caleb regarding Jester, and was taken off due to complaints about it being about a bi woman longing for another woman, is also, more relevantly to its inclusion, about an unrequited love the singer themself believes is unrequited, and has no intentions of acting upon ("Oh, oh/and I'll be okay/Admiring from afar/Cause even when she's next to me/We could not be more far apart/Cause she tastes like birthday cake, and storytime, and fall/But to her I taste of nothing at all").

In the campaign wrap-up, Liam reiterated that it was his intention for Caleb to pine in silence, and that he feared Jester intuiting Caleb's feelings or asking him directly.

(below a cut for length)

Caleb's behavior on Rumblecusp can be interpreted as him tentatively feeling out Jester's feelings towards him. Per Laura's statements in the same campaign wrap-up, Jester was unaware of Caleb's feelings. Onscreen, during the Rumblecusp arc, Jester repeatedly took Caleb's advances and then turned to Fjord (Caleb casting Tongues on her and her using it to talk to Fjord; Caleb mentioning she looked ill and her asking Fjord to feel her forehead). He immediately then proceeds to commit to a new plan for the future - one which still would not make a compatible life for Jester (excising the rot within the Empire); pushes Jester towards Fjord while dancing and deliberately avoids dancing with her; and finally tells her about his past, something which he had always avoided doing. Jester (and Caduceus) were very carefully excluded from Caleb's confidence until this time.

One can, and I do, interpret Caleb's choice to tell Jester about his past in episode 110 as him truly saying goodbye to the possibility of a relationship. It is notable that by this point, he had learned that he and Essek had quite a lot in common, particularly pertaining to their feelings about themselves and their pasts, which had always been the defining barrier in why he felt he had to protect Jester from knowing the truth of his past. Jester symbolized a person Caleb felt he would have loved had he not been subjected to his trauma. And so, him finally telling her really feels like a turning point, where he accepts he must relinquish his control over how she sees him.

Not long after, in Eiselcross, Caleb notices that Jester and Fjord appear to be romantically involved (in a scene entirely prompted by Liam), and begins to process those feelings.

In short, for most of the campaign, Caleb never intended to tell Jester how he felt. He made a very minimal foray into exploring whether perhaps she felt the same way, but only after he found that he had another serious romantic option (and, out of game, at a point where he knew Jester had other romantic options). He then immediately backed off when he felt she was more interested in someone else, all without ever revealing how he felt to her. Indeed, there's something to be said by how profoundly Caleb's relationship to Jester was defined by his silence with her specifically (as compared to the rest of the Mighty Nein) - about his past, about his feelings, and about what he thought of her own choices.

In that same episode of Talks Machina (for 2x96), Liam remarked, in the context of Beau's deal with Isharnai, that Caleb was often uncomfortable criticizing others, because he felt he was not a good enough person to do so. It can be argued he was able to pursue something with Essek both because he finally, by that time, had developed a stronger sense of self worth; but also here was someone who had similar enough sins for him to feel as though he could come to them as an equal - regardless of whether you agree on the moral equivalence of their past choices, it is pretty strongly stated that Caleb feels this way.

The above could be seen as a condemnation of Caleb, and, for what it's worth, it isn't intended to. I think Caleb's guilt, and how he grapples with it slowly throughout the campaign, is central to the character. I think it's explored beautifully, in a realistic and nonlinear fashion (notably with the Vergesson Sanatorium, which occurs after Caleb has been otherwise on a pretty significant turn towards recovery). I think it is very real and understandable that he wants to keep the darkness of his past from someone whom he sees as its opposite, even though it means he has to keep his distance from her as a result. I admire Liam's willingness to explore some of the difficult, messy, and even ugly aspects of Caleb's trauma response.

I also happen to like Caleb's love for Jester as part of the story. It feels very genuine and makes sense as part of his arc; as Liam says, she makes him laugh again after a very long time when he wasn't sure he could. It's absolutely beautiful, and incredibly important to the story of Caleb healing. But part of that healing is Caleb realizing that what he wants and what Jester wants are incompatible, and making his peace with that.

Caleb is quite self-aware and brutally honest regarding his feelings for Jester, and quickly realizes that there is not sufficient room to accommodate Jester in the life he wants. Earlier on, he can only see so far as going through time to rescue his parents, and as he cannot even bring himself to tell Jester about his past, he cannot share that goal with her, the way he does with Veth and Beau. Later, as he begins to see past that moment, and imagine what his life might look like if he continues to live, he reconnects with his childhood desire to become a teacher, and his feelings evolve from wishing to escape the Empire or work against it, to wishing to correct the wrongs within it and be a force for good from the inside. But this is, as previously stated, also incompatible with Jester's desire for adventure, and more seriously, with her religious beliefs and her desire to return home to the coast. This, too, is directly stated by Liam; that Caleb knew he would not give up his life to give Jester the one she wanted, and this was a factor in him believing she would be happier with someone else whose future was more in line with hers.

In many ways, the best comparison to Caleb's feelings for Jester are his feelings towards Frumpkin: an incredibly crucial part of Caleb's healing process and character development throughout the campaign, and something that will always hold meaning for him, but something that represents an attachment to a different possibility he has since lost. He understands that with both, he must let them go in order to actually resume his life.

It is telling that in that dance back in Hupperdook, Caleb calls her Astrid. Jester is an echo of his past from the moment he begins having feelings for her, and never quite fits as a partner in his present. Which isn't to say it could never have happened, but it would have required Caleb to change so profoundly he would be unrecognizable: it would have required him turning his back on the Empire entirely, rather than trying to fix what was wrong, so that he could adventure with her as she dreamed of doing. It would have also required him loosing his vise grip on Jester's good opinion of him and risking her rejection, something he only does when holding back would put the entire party in danger. In-story, Caleb always knew he could never make those compromises for her.

Caleb's plan to bring back his parents - which is an incredibly smart and time-travel genre-savvy one - relies on his past self being unaware his parents survived, lest he create a paradox. Even in the scenario in which he undoes the harm to his parents, he knows can never truly undo the harm to himself. He is never the person he thought could truly be Jester's partner. That version of Caleb died long ago. The arc of his story throughout the campaign is him piecing together a person who can exist and grow and love again. Jester is incredibly important to that, but she is not its end point.

I started writing this before second half of the Nein two-shot aired, and I would like to add that I interpret the six month gap when the Nein were not getting together regularly as, among many other things, Caleb giving himself time to get over these feelings. I hope the above makes it clear that I think they were very real and very important, but also very much one-sided from a person who, within the narrative, expected them and indeed somewhat hoped for them to remain one-sided.

[vasyandii]

Hi :P

(Fun storytime: I was actually drafting this when I received your ask hahahahah)

I like Nak (and her relationship wih Krueger) a lot <3 and your drawings always make me smile, you have a great sense of humour, the way you colour is very warm and inviting, and how you portray those two sillies always crack me up

Had some questions!

1- Is Nak superstitious?

2 - Does Nak every cook for Krueger? Do they cook together? Do they cook each other food from their respective cultures? Do they enjoy it? (is Krueger useful or useless in the kitchen? :P)

3- Does Nak have a favourite insult/swear word?

I'll come back for more for sure :P keep it up, love!

Hiiiii Thank you so much for the Ask and the kind words!! I'm really glad that you like how I portray the two! I'll try my best to answer the questions!

It makes me really excited to get asks about Nak or KruegerNak, keep them coming >:33!!

1.) Is Nak superstitious?

Yes! She doesn't believe in like western superstitions (knocking on wood, etc.) Because she isn't raised on it. Nak is, however, more superstitious in terms of her culture; she doesn't like people's feet being near pillows, covers Krueger's mouth when he's whistling at night. She's not scared of many things but she's TERRIFIED of ghosts and spirits so she feels that doing these things will attract them to her. (Literally clinging onto Krueger while watching Thai scary movies)

2a.) Does Nak ever cook for Krueger? (I'll split these into multiple sections so it's an easier read :3)

Nak is usually the one who cooks for the both of them! She enjoys cooking and domestic work as a stress reliever, plus she likes taking care of him by making him food, it makes her feel cute to be taking care of someone :D

2b.) Do they cook together?

Nak cooks in a way that doesnt need much help; clean and quick. She prefers that Krueger isn't in the kitchen (maybe watching her over the counter) while she cooks because she doesnt want to get distracted with feeding him little bits and pieces of the meal as it's getting made; doesnt want him to get full quickly. Krueger helps with taste testing occasionally (he sneaks bites) so they're both involved with the cooking process in a way

2c.) Do they cook each other food from their respective cultures? Do they enjoy it? (Is Krueger Useless in the kitchen?)

Nak has tried Krueger's cooking before and honestly? She doesn't know how he's not dead from sodium overdose. He's not...bad at preparing and chopping, however he tends to over season or under season things. He makes a killer Apple strudel, though; Nak likes it, not too sweet.

-Calling over the kitchen counter, "You good over there or do I need to bring out the fire extinguisher?"

-"All good."

-"Make sure too not put the heat too high."

- "Relax, I got this. I'm finishing up anywa-" The smoke detector started blaring, followed by a series of curses as Krueger ran over to shut it off.

As for Krueger.. This man eats so much Lao food living with Nak he might as well be Lao himself. Nak tries to cook seperate meals for Krueger of stuff he's used to but ultimately stops when he kept stealing food off her plate even if it's too spicy for him.

3.)Does Nak have a favorite insult/ swear word?

Nak goes through phases of favourite swear words, but she likes Russian or Arabic swear words alot since alot of people in Allegiance speak Russian or Arabic xD

☆If you made it this far you've made it to the end of the post! Thank you so much for reading my brainrot :D

<3 Asks and reblogs are always appreciated!

[cyberrlyfts]

s3ph0r@ tips 😋

idk how bad it is in the US but disclaimer this is coming from me, a canadian 🤪

be aware of ur surroundings !!!

seems obvious but a lot of people say to act like a normal shopper and just ignore everyone else. but honestly, normal shoppers react to people squeezing by, they’ll look around to see things. lots of sephoras are crowded and you wont notice if there’s an SA right behind you. keep an eye out or bring a friend. also, certain mall locations have LPs in BRIGHT RED shirts. 

2. body concealing is ur best friend here

shoving a palette or even a small liner into ur bag is gonna look super sus… the cameras are REALLY good here. place the item on top of your phone, hold it close to you and wait for a bit until you can slip your phone into ur bag or pocket naturally. or reach into a shelf and slip an item into your sleeve, then pull out another item to look at. 

3. WATCH FOR THE CAMERAS. 

i’ve seen people say that the cameras here are good, to the point where they can ZOOM INTO your bag and see the item dropping in. don’t risk it. find a good blind spot or crouch down. get a friend to lookout. don’t get caught in 4k.

4. this one’s kinda hard - but if a SA sees you pick up an item, drop it and come back to it later. 

in my posted storytime they got caught bc the SA saw them holding something - then suddenly they weren’t. make sure the SA SEES you put the item down. once, an SA saw me with a few items so i asked my friend something like “hmm, should i get the eyeshadow or the eyeliner?” thinking i would just conceal the one that i “put down”… but an SA saw and was like “omg just get both! they’ll look so good on you!” and i was like ugh… but again if you’re never carrying anything then it’ll look weird. you ARE shopping right?

5. if you can, find locations that aren’t connected to a mall.

these locations are usually WAYY less busy. whenever i go to my stand-alone location, there’s literally 3 other people in there with me and all the SAs are bored to death.

6. if you get asked if you need help, personally i like asking them for something you know they don’t have. 

for example - i’ll check on the website to see if the location i’m going to carries a certain product, then if they don’t i’ll remember it and ask the SA that greets me if they have that product in stock. they’ll say no, and you can act all sad and just say that you’ll look around for a bit. you’ll get left alone!! tip for finding these products - look up viral products or perfumes, a lot of stores don’t have all the perfumes in stock all the time.

7. in terms of how to dress and act

i see SO many posts on here telling you to do your makeup all fancy or “dress like you could buy the whole store”… DONT. you’re gonna be so much more memorable that way, more attention grabbing than if you just had like. clean girl makeup or whatever. be nice to SAs !! where i am, a lot of them are super chatty and honestly i don’t mind talking to them, they’re really fun. just don’t go over the top but i’m sure you get the idea.

i hope this wasn’t just a useless ramble 🙏 ik a lot of this is probably like… duh but sometimes when ur in there all common sense just escapes u yk??

[pompadourpink]

Bonjour! I just saw the ask of the lost 17 year old and I cant help but feel like Im in a similar position. I'm 28 years old and I feel like I shouldve figured out what I want to do in life. I feel like I wasted my 20s on simply going with the flow and "ill figure it out later" mentality. I've also recently been fired from a job I should love but after three months I found so boring. I stayed there for a year just to get some exeprience. Now that Im unemployed again I get rejected over and over again and feel so useless. Even for jobs Im excited about the passion fizzles, and I dont even know what I want to do. Or what I'm even good at anymore.

Hello dear,

Dr Write too much, PhD, is back in the office, woohoo!

One, you're not supposed to have an epiphany one night and find out what your calling is. You don't have one. You're not a machine. You're a brain in a meat suit and you came without instructions, which means you don't have a function. Capitalism put us in this position. Existing is enough, and work is a human invention - food and shelter originally didn't have a price tag. We tend to think of the Ancient Greeks as the most advanced, wisest civilisation there's ever been. Do you think they wondered about what their manager is going to say if they dodged their phone call at 9pm on Friday or lost sleep over getting ghosted on Tinder? No, they had a lot of wine, a lot of bread, a lot of sex, and walked around in beautiful gardens with their companions. And they didn't feel bad about it. Why would they?

Two, you can reinvent yourself as many times as you want. Storytime!

When I went to Rome for my birthday back in 2018, I bumped into a Colosseo guide named Tahar who was around my boomer father's age and so happy to make a friend he started telling me about his life over breakfast, how he had studied physics, loved the stars, never had a family so he travelled a lot, had been in Rome for about a month, and gotten the job by hanging out around the Colosseo and having little talks with other guides in French, English, Arabic and broken Italian until their boss decided to hire him just because he was friendly. He even confessed that at night, he would go and have a drink in fancy bars to try and find tourists to sell tours to at a higher price so he could pocket the difference.

At the time, I was nearly 26, ten days away from leaving a terrible minimum-wage job, had lived in the same area of the country my whole life and the same city for 8 years, had a recently broken heart and was still recovering from a severe case of mononucleosis that is still to this day the worst pain I've ever felt.

I didn't stay in touch with Tahar because he got flirty and started insinuating that it wasn't too late for him to settle down and have a kid or two while holding my hands and that was not going to happen. However, I still think about him once in a while, when I catch myself being paralysed by fear of the unknown.

My guy had nothing, no house, furniture, wife, kids, local friends, parents, savings, was paid to ramble about history and make jokes in the sunshine, lived paycheck to paycheck; and he was happy, tanned, eating fruit and drinking wine with a huge smile on his face nella bella Roma, kilometres away from thinking of himself as a failure. He was doing exactly what he wanted, and where, and when, and with whom, and while he clearly wasn't a role model, he is the one person I have ever met who lived life on his own terms and is 100% going to die without regrets.

Three, take a step back. I talked about it recently but it is vital that we calm down and stop chasing numbers and short-lived adrenaline. Go spend a day outside, at the beach, in the countryside, the mountains - it doesn't matter, just away from home, and lay down, relax, and listen to what the world has to say to you. We all love to think that happiness is our number one priority, but it is rarely the case - I hinted about it in the 17-year-old post: if you think of your perfect day and compare it to your current circumstances, those two lists would be very different. We keep talking to people who make us miserable, eating stuff that gives us tumtum aches, wearing shoes that hurt our feet, and wonder why we are upset and can't sleep well.

And I'm guilty of that too. I have always had that mental image of the seaside, a walk on the beach, the sun, a dog, lavender ice cream, a man and a couple of kids running around, and then home, a movie, a blanket, the fire. I don't have any of that. I live in a very grey city, alone with my geriatric cat, working all day long, not knowing where to go, changing my mind constantly, thinking maybe I should just stay here and keep saving money for a house, drowning in my routines like a little hamster on a wheel. I love my life, but I'm not satisfied yet, because like you, my 20s were spent differently, and now I'm trying to catch up a little.

The truth is that I'll never be where my former classmates who took a different path are, but they will also never be where I am. They have more regrets than me. They look at my life, my freedom, my absence of morning alarm, my joy, my projects, my head full of dreams, and they envy me. I am *that girl* who spent an hour this morning looking up how to move to Barcelona as an entrepreneur within the Schengen space. You are her too, people just won't tell you.

So what do you do now? You find a part-time job you're not going to hate and won't have to take home at night so you can pay bills, you look for your joy until you find it, you explore your interests, figure out your goals, maybe see if you have a (current or potential future) skill you could use to start a side-business, alone or with another person, whether it's baking or tailoring, that you could do routinely without hating yourself after a while, and spend your free time doing exactly what you want. If it fails, the end of the road is very far away and you can always try again.

It won't be a waste of time. That's not how time works.

Love,

Mum

[nompunhere]

do you have any bug game stories that are more romantic than platonic? (not sexual ofc) safe noms with lovey-dovey nonsense is peak fiction for me

hmmmmge, in terms of ones I've already written, I've got like 2 or 3:

Where Ash Drifts Like Snow - C/rimson N/ails (so M/arkoth/X/ero), pre-relationship, they're both crushing hard, definitely fluff

Tender Moments - Q/uirrell/emm (or L/emmq/uirrel, whichever we call it), the definition of lovey-dovey nonsense, there's hardly any plot to it it's just 2.6k words of fluff

Bug Bites 3 - Chipped, the first ficlet there, has some fluffy Q/uirrell/emm again, and the one after that, Stealth Nap, has that pairing + T/iso, but any romance is maybe just sorta implied? A little?

Oh and there's This 2-part Thing - Not bug game, but notable in that the couple there is technically a romantic pairing, lot of angst with a touch of hurt/comfort at the end. if it helps I was picturing it with X/ero as the pred and M/arkoth as the prey while writing it lmao

aaaaaand because of my usual bs, here's a couple tidbits of stuff I have in the idea doc and outlines of unwritten fics that happen to involve romance below the cut (so many pheckin images)

gonna start off with the complete outlines, for which I have three that basically set up Quirreloro and that's about it for romance:

Interlude. not vore, but vore gets referenced at the end.

Storytime. Oro is enlisted to share an anecdote from his and Quirrel's shared history. Can't remember if it's pre-relationship or established.

Research Project. Let's just say you're bound to figure out where you stand with someone when you're that close for that long ;)

next up, future Bug Bites:

Tisoquirrel fluff (and Ghost is also there). Shenanigans ensue.

Crimson Nails. Those two are still crushing super hard on each other but may or may not get slightly less useless about it.

Tisoquirreloro. Or Tisoquirrel at least, Oro isn't too involved yet. More shenanigans ensue.

...Ogrisma? I don't know how people tend to write out the ship name but yeh. Fluffy fluff. Finally, a semi-functional couple

Crimson Nails again. They may or may not be aware of how useless they are and may or may not work towards fixing that.

Clothmyla. Seriously I don't know what the ship names are for a lot of these. Anyway, uhhh. Attempt at lessbeans. Gotta start somewhere!

Aaaaand finally, an Assortment of Other Ideas. hh.

Crimson Nails, Xero moves into with his boyfriend. Hurt/comfort.

Cold Night 2, electric boogaloo, and this time it's Tisoquirreloro. Many much cuddols.

Oh wait I guess that's about it for the romance fic ideas without going into things that are more plot than noms/fluff. and I've already gotten way ahead of myself anyway, so. e ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ enjoy the patches of content ! probably gonna ramble in the tags again

[cryptid-wizard]

In the span of a day my anxiety med doses got doubled, I accidentally came out to my mom and psychiatrist said I might have adhd (I will get tested after anxiety meds work a bit I think to make sure).