imsorryimednostic

[imsorryimednostic]

Am scrambling to bring people into the hidden fold on Discord that we’ve made for ourselves before Twitter takes a full-on nose-dive. 

[imsorryimednostic]

I’ve had two doctor’s appointments. Yesterday, today. And I have two more. Tomorrow, and the day after. One was an ED therapist. Today was my GP. Both have said I could die. I sedated myself with my clonazepam. I was in the hospital recently. In the redzone. I could’ve died. And before that, because my glucose was at 2.7. I could’ve gone into a coma and died. They had to do an IV and shoot me up with Dextrose 50%. Both times, I nearly died. Eating disorders are no joke. I still have to wait six months for out-patient, and up to a year for in-patient. I asked my doctor,  “What if I don’t make it that long?”  And all he said was, “I’m sorry. I know you’re scared.”  My brain won’t even save me, it keeps telling me not to eat even though I know I could die. My doctor wanted me to get glucose tabs (dex4), and I have to take it, take my blood glucose, take it again if it doesn’t raise, and then go back to the hospital to get an IV for dextrose. Like a fucking hummingbird. Eating disorders aren’t a fucking joke, man.  I was in the redzone last time. They thought my heart would give out.  It’s all my fault, but I’m still scared.  Why can’t I save myself?

[imsorryimednostic]

I made it to day 10 of my fast, then broke it.  Solo Challenge: 15lbs/15 days. Started October 11th. Down 13.8lbs. 1.2lbs to go. The deadline is October 24th.

[imsorryimednostic]

Officially on Day 8 of my Fast!

[imsorryimednostic]

Solo Challenge: 15lbs/15 days. Started October 11th. Down 11.2lbs. 3.8lbs to go. The deadline is October 24th. I got blood taken today, and let’s just say, for a person who doesn’t get drunk, that is the easiest legal high I’ve had in a while. lol  I am almost on day 7 of my fast -- and will be on day 8 in just over 4hrs!

[imsorryimednostic]

NSV

Oh yeah, non-scale victory: down another inch in my waist. BOO-YAH!

[imsorryimednostic]

Solo Challenge: 15lbs/15 days.

Started October 11th. Down 8.6lbs. 6.4lbs to go. The deadline is October 24th.

[imsorryimednostic]

So my doctor finally got in touch with me about getting out-patient help. Six months waiting list. So, let’s see how much weight we can lose in six months.

[imsorryimednostic]

Solo-Challenge: 15lbs in 15 Days

Fucked up my fast. Am re-doing my 15 in 15.

Solo Challenge for 15lbs in 15 days. Started October 11th. Down 7.6lbs. 7.4lbs to go. The deadline is October 24th.

[imsorryimednostic]

Well I guess I should check in or something. lol  I decided to challenge myself and lose 15lbs in 15 days. So this is how it’s going. Solo Challenge for 15lbs in 15 days. Down 10.6lbs 4.4lbs to go. Deadline is October 13th. So 8 more days to lose 4.4lbs. If I can surpass it, I will keep going until the 13th, when my next doctor’s appointment is.  Total weight loss so far: 80.9lbs Wish me luck. :) I’ll try and stay in touch more here.  Oh great recipe btw:  1 Diabetic Boost Vanilla (15g of protein, 0.5g of sugar) 1 tablespoon of Torani’s Sugar-Free French Vanilla Syrup 1/2 cup of Skim Milk (I use lactose-free) and sometimes 1 cup. Add ice. Blend.  If 1/2 a cup of skim milk: 235 calories. If 1 cup of skim milk: 275 calories. It’s a great way to break a fast, and a delicious, nutritous milkshake. :) Lots of vitamins, very little sugar, good protein, and filling!  Love, Ren

[imsorryimednostic]

Thanks for Nothing, GoFundMe

So GoFundMe, made an error, and sent back all the donations I was sent. So now I’m back at square one with zero donations, and have to start all over again. Great. To anyone who donated, I’m sorry, it was GFM’s fault, and they openly admit it in an e-mail. Thanks GoFundMe, for making everything look sketch AF.

[imsorryimednostic]

Gotta Catch ‘Em All

So I got diagnosed with ANOTHER fucking eating disorder. Apparently I’m just collecting them like fucking POKEMON. Not just Atypical Anorexia, and Binge Eating Disorder. NAW. They diagnosed me with 'Anorexia Athletica' which sounds like a name brand of sports clothes for skinny people. So, gymbros work out for hours and it's to maximize their pump, but I walk for hours and I get told it's "Anorexia Athletica". Fucking typical.

[imsorryimednostic]

I Need Help

I have been billed for an aircast boot/crutches from the hospital for fractured metatarsals, and my toes are so infected that I may require debridement. I have also been diagnosed with a new eating disorder on top of my Atypical Anorexia, and Binge Eating Disorder. It is called “Anorexia Athletic”. Apparently it’s not even in the DSM-5 ‘yet’ according the doctor I spoke to. I am in desperate need of new shoes as I have been using hand-me-downs. However, I am more concerned about the hospital bill at the moment. Every donation, no matter how small, makes a difference. I am on disability and fasting for 72 to 240hrs at a time helps me be able to pay the bills when I can’t even afford food. Even if you can't donate, liking, or reblogging the post helps. https://gofund.me/376f1f47

[imsorryimednostic]

What do you menstruating folk do when you hit Shark Week? To stop yourself from gaining too much? I was venting that I gained because of it, and had someone on FB go, "Yeah, it's water weight, it happens around the time you get your period."

THANKS BECKY, I HAD NO IDEA. MIND-F**KING-BLOWN! 

[imsorryimednostic]

Those who are not fed love from a silver spoon, learn to lick it off knives.

[imsorryimednostic]

RANT STORYTIME

So I've always been a LOYAL Shoppers Drug Mart customer, and PC Optimum point collector, but I _always_ lost my card before I ever got to spend my points. Whoops!

Today, I am in DESPERATE need of Midol (P.S. Midol really needs to add calmatives, because I AM F**KING T-REX). So I go and it takes me forever to find it because it's NOT IN THE PAIN RELIEF SECTION. And who the f**k calls feminine products "FEMININE PAPER"?

*clutches at her invisible fucking pearls* HOW DARE YOU CALL IT PRODUCTS OR F**KING PADS/TAMPONS? And why is the Midol NOT in the 'FEMININE PAPER' aisle OR the freaking 'PAIN RELIEF' aisle? Like, LOOK AT ALL THAT PAIN RELIEF PRODUCT. But, no.

It's with the freaking PREGNANCY TESTS. Sidenote, if you're taking Midol, it's pretty unlikely you're F**KING PREGNANT. Oh yeah, and see if you can spot it. A woman who's in pain, pissed, and NOT IN THE MOOD, does not want to be reaching for where it is.

Also, hey, I was excited because we worked up a lot of points, and I was like, "YAS, finally get to spend points, and I won't have to spend any of my own money." That's not the way this works. NO. So my bill came to $15.24. And it gives you the option to pay with your PC Optimum points! YAY! So I press that and it says I still owe them $5.24. I'm sorry, I what? Why? Why don't my f**king points, that I spend LOTS of money in this f**king store for not cover the whole f**king thing?

And a lady comes up and is offers to help, and I was like,

"Why can't I just pay with my points?" And she goes,

"You did!"

"WELL OBVIOUSLY NOT BECKY, BECAUSE THERE'S STILL $5.24 STILL ON THE BILL."

"Well, it's just $5.24."

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT, BECKY. BUT WHAT IF I DIDN'T _HAVE_ THE $5.24 AND WAS RELYING ON THE POINTS? WHY CAN'T I PAY WITH MY POINTS FOR THE WHOLE PURCHASE?"

"I'll go ask--"

"No, it's fine, nevermind." -pays and leaves-

I officially no longer like PC Optimum Points OR SHOPPERS FOR THAT FACT. F**K YOU for making us spend HARD EARNED MONEY IN YOUR STORE and GIVING US FREAKING COUPONS for $10-$20 off when you know FOR SURE, you're the most expensive pharmacy/drugstore/medical supply store and wannabe 'beauty boutique' in F**KING CANADA.

P.S. WHY DO YOU KEEP TAKING THE ONLY SHAMPOOS I LIKE OFF THE SHELVES? FIRST HERBAL ESSENCES TOTALLY TWISTED and THEN HERBAL ESSENCES BIRCH BARK EXTRACT?

P.P.S. F**K YOU.

P.P.P.S. Midol Canada YOUR NEW DESIGN SUCKS A$$. Seriously who are you paying for this kind of design? SHAME.

[imsorryimednostic]

Right now I'm going through my BROTH BITCH era. lol It's delicious, and all sorts of amazing. I know the sodium is like KILLER, but I'm even adding some Frank's Red Hot Sauce, because spicy foods kicks up the metabolism. I'm loooooving it. And I have a lot of energy. ^_^