#v. because you’re my greatest weakness and i’m afraid that i’ll be yours

[lilmisslydiamartin]

hisevolution:

He pressed himself against the corner, his arm wrapped around Lydia’s shoulders and protecting her head as the ground shook. He knew it was just an earthquake, there was nothing Superman could do about an earthquake.

Once the rattling stopped he lifted his own head to look at Lydia. “Are you okay?” He asked as he went to open the door, only to find it jammed.

Lydia knew what it was, an earthquake, nothing to be afraid of - she was from California, after all, and the shifting tectonic plates were normal... but the lack of control, feeling trapped, like she had no choice but to wait and see, it was driving her insane. At least she was with Derek, who had grabbed her and pulled her out of open office space, where anything could have fallen onto them, and pulled them into a closet. 

He even went so far as to protect her body with his, and she wanted to stop him, knowing that if anything fell, he could be hurt... But then the shaking stopped, and she could take in a deep breath. The closet was dark and she moved to the door with him, only to find that it couldn’t open.

One of two options... either something had fallen against the door, keeping it unable to open, or the building’s framework had shifted, making the door unable to open at all. She tried to keep her calm and nodded, reaching out in the darkness for him, grabbing his wrist and wrapping her fingers about it. 

“Thank you,” she half whispered, squeezing his hand tight. “Do you think it’s the frame, or did something fall against it?”

[shaineybainey]

“Noble Intentions”

Lab Rats [T]

The Lab Rats and Mighty Med teams face off with the greatest threat to humanity yet: The Incapacitator, a supervillain bent on becoming the most powerful in the planet. …Which makes things super awkward for Leo, considering that their newest nemesis is his father. AU. Lab Rats vs Mighty Med redux.

** DISCLAIMER: SEE CHAPTER ONE FOR DISCLAIMER **

tagging: @clockradio93 @vcnting @verified-dumbass @serpent-princess @weareoutofmaplesyrupdave @aaaaahhhhh1234 @lettersandwhiteroses @breanadaveport-mendel @cecespuffs @quimbionics @hollywoodendinq 

[ By the way, if anyone doesn’t like to be tagged anymore, just tell me through a DM. I appreciate the likes, but if the tagging annoys you, I’ll respectfully leave you out on the next one :) ]

TW: disturbing imagery, death of loved ones, panic triggers

V: Late Bloomer

Leo stirs, his whole body entirely too numb. He squints as his eyes sting from the flood of light shining all around him. He waits until the pain ebbs. Soon enough, he can make shapes, spot movements. But nothing is familiar.

Nothing except the overlapping Ms on the wall – one scarlet and one chrome.

“Leo? Leo, are you okay?” a shape – then a couple of shapes – approaches him. “How are you feeling?”

He withdraws from the faceless figure even though he recognizes the voice. “Chase?”

“Yes, Leo, it’s me,” the figure replies, but in Bree’s voice. He (she?) smiles. “You’ve been out a while. We’re glad you’re okay.”

“Where are we?” he asks, still trying to see through the gray haze.

“We’re on Mighty Med. It’s a hospital for superheroes,” says Adam.

“I know that. I know what Mighty Med is,” Leo says. He sits up. He sees a vague outline of a hospital room… How come he still can’t see anyone’s face? It makes his heart thump. “Who are you? Why can’t I see you?”

“The Incapacitator’s energy field must have been too much for you,” Chase replies. At least, it’s his voice.

“It’s going to be okay,” assures Bree. “The doctors said the blindness is temporary. In two days, you’ll be able to get your vision back.”

He searches their faces, still uneasy. The outlines of the shapes look like his siblings. There were four other people, although who they are he doesn’t know.

Suddenly, a worry hits him. “Where’s The Incapacitator?”

Though he doesn’t see their faces, he senses relief. “It’s over, Leo,” says Chase.

“What’s over?”

“Him. We defeated him!”

“What?”

“Yeah! He was holding you hostage,” says the figure that was Chase. Then, in Adam’s voice he adds, “It took us some time, but we figured out how to use his own power against him. Who knew it was that simple?”

“Wait. No, no, wait. I don’t understand.” He shakes his head. “You’re not making any sense. Who are you?”

“He’s dead, Leo. He imploded,” Bree says, a cold smile evident in her voice. “He died, as he should have.”

“No. No, that’s not true!” He tries to leap out of the bed, but the shapes hold him down. “What are you doing? Let go of me!”

“Why?”

Leo looks up quickly. He freezes upon seeing Krane towering over him, half of his body terribly burned just like the last time he saw him. A hole gapes at the place where his right eye should have been.

Krane grins wolfishly, blood on his teeth. “Isn’t this your fault? You should have reported him a long time ago. Maybe he would still be alive if you had.”

“We would still be alive,” S-1 agrees, appearing on the other side of him.

“You’re not quite the hero you think you are,” Krane says, his grip on his arm tightening.

The shapes press in on him, robbing him of breathing space. “No – Stop!” he screams. “Get away from me!”

But they only converge, closer and closer and closer until the shapes merge into a tangible cloud that wraps around him. Soon, the cloud turns into water that he plunges under, and then he can’t breathe.

He screams, but no sound comes out.

He gasps for air—

– Ϟ –

Leo wakes, gasping as if breaking through a surface. He defensively pulls his arm back from the person touching it, scooting away from him.

“Easy, Leo. It’s okay. You’re safe,” Joel says. “I won’t hurt you. It’s just me.”

Leo’s eyes quickly scan the room for danger. He’s in some bedroom, one he’s never seen before, and his father, wearing jeans and an ash gray t-shirt, is the only one there with him.

It all comes rushing back. Tecton, Chase, the energy lasso.

There was also the look of murder in his eyes as he grabbed him.

He retreats farther away from his father, afraid.

Joel chuckles. “Leo, I mean it. You’re—”

Leo flinches away from his touch, his heart calming but his brain still on high alert.

Joel sighs. “Right. I know. I overdid it. I’m sorry.”

“You were going to kill me.”

“I was never going to kill you. I would never. Why would I do that?”

Why would he? Leo doesn’t know. He used to think he understands why his father would do things, but now he doesn’t. “How could you lie to me?” he asks.

“Leo, you know I don’t like you being involved in the things that I do. Especially since you still stubbornly believe that there’s room for you in the superhero world.”

“But I am involved now. You hurt my family when I asked you not to!”

“I didn’t really hurt them! Everyone is still alive when we left.”

“You hurt Chase.”

“Well, the kid was kind of stupid.”

“He was still my brother!”

“Hey.” Joel points a finger at him. “Watch it. I don’t like your tone.”

The warning registers, but it does very little to allay his anger. “How could you do this? How could you hurt a lot of people like that?”

“Come on. It’s not like you don’t know that it’s just part of the job. They got in my way, I move them out.”

“But—”

“Leo, stop. Okay? Stop nagging me about this. It isn’t right,” Joel says patiently. “You know what I am. You know what I do. I understand why you’re mad, but everything I did was for a reason.”

Leo watches him indignantly as he gets up and heads towards a wardrobe. He simmers as he observes him dig through its contents.

It doesn’t make things any better when he comes back with a fresh set of clothes, smiling as if nothing happened.

His father observes him a moment before chuckling. “That must be some dream you had,” he comments. “I’ve never seen you this angry before.”

Leo says nothing and only looks away. He can’t stand his father at the moment.

“Since it seems like you won’t ask, this is the place I’ve been wanting to take you to,” Joel says. “It’s the house where I grew up. Nana’s and Pop’s house.”

Leo stubbornly keeps his mouth shut. Still, he’s moved to examine it closely. “I didn’t know it was still standing,” he mutters begrudgingly.

“Yeah,” Joel says, looking around the room fondly. “RT and I used to share this room, but when I turned 9, Nana moved Uncle RT to her sewing room downstairs.”

It’s fascinating that the childhood room of one of the most powerful supervillains in existence looks…normal. The room itself is small. Leo thinks it’s about the size of one of the sitting rooms in the Mission Creek mansion.

Pressed against the wall to his left is a study desk, a dust-covered stack of books, a decades old lamp, and a Duck Tales pencil holder sitting atop it. Right next to the study desk is the wardrobe. By the door is a shoe rack.

Everything looks so neat and normal that it’s almost disorienting. Sure, it’s obvious that not much had been touched for a long while, but he doubts that anyone would guess the kind of man the kid who used to sleep here would grow up to be.

“So, was I right? Were you having a bad dream?” his father asks. “You’re sweating like crazy.”

“Are we in Kansas?”

Though still a bit taken aback by his resistance, Joel answers. “Yeah.”

“Why did you take me with you? You didn’t need me.”

Joel shrugs. “Many reasons. Distraction, for one. Emotions run higher when there’s a hostage involve, especially when it’s a kid,” he says. “I know for sure it frazzles Tecton. That’s one of his weaknesses: his emotion tends to get the best of him in situations like this. He becomes more impulsive, more prone to make mistakes.”

“So you’re using me as a pawn.”

“I brought you here because I didn’t want to leave you behind with your new family.” He sighs. “Your stepdad is slipping. I want them to know how easily they could lose you. You’re valuable to me, Leo. I want them to feel the same fear I feel every day.”

Leo says nothing. He doesn’t know whether he should be grateful or frustrated that his father is once again stepping into his new life.

“You’re not going to tell me about your dream?” Joel prompts, smiling.

Leo stares at him, unsure. “I know you hate my new family, especially my stepdad, but you can’t keep doing this,” he says wearily. “What are we going to do if they find out that I’m your son? They’d think I’ve been in on it all along. It’s going to make a lot of things complicated.”

“Are you ashamed of me?”

“No, Dad, I never was! But after today, maybe I am.” Leo sighs. He hunches forward, gathering his thoughts. “This is putting me in a bad spot, too. I don’t want you to get hurt. I know you have your reasons why you do the things you do, and as we agreed on our deal I’m not going to interfere with anything unless it’s super bad.”

“But…?”

“But if I keep helping you, the superhero community might start viewing me as an enemy.”

“I only see that as an advantage.”

Leo only glares.

“Why do you insist on being one of them?” Joel asks. “You’re wasting so much of your time trying to earn their respect. You’re working three times as hard as your siblings, and they treat you like you don’t matter.”

“They don’t do that.”

“Yes. They do. You just don’t what to admit it.” Reading distress on his face, he says, “You’re a lot smarter than them. Take away your stepbrother’s bionic chip, and what is he? Just an average kid with an average level of intelligence.”

“But that doesn’t change the fact that—”

“That what? He creates things that work, that make money, and you don’t?” His father’s eyes have darkened, and Leo realizes that the smile was just a mask for the poisonous anger bubbling underneath. “Before you and your mother met them, you were heading towards great things. But look at what they did to you. They took everything from you. They took advantage of your loyalty, your sacrifice – and once they didn’t need you, they discarded you.”

“Please stop,” Leo mutters, the words hollowing out his heart.

Joel’s eyes soften when he realizes how it’s all hurting him. “I know the way I do things aren’t how you’d do them. But the world doesn’t look to me the way it does to you. It’s not a bright and warm place for people like us, my son. It just takes advantage of us and leaves us in the dark.”

When his son still won’t meet his eyes, he attempts a genuine smile. “I’m doing all of this for you. I don’t want you to experience the same things I’ve experienced. I know it may seem that I just want destruction, but really, what I want is a world where no one would take away anything from you.”

Leo knows what his father means; he knows the story. His dad and his uncle were only children, 10 and 7, respectively, when their parents were killed. They were able to get away from the murderers and hide in an abandoned house not far from here.

His grandfather had been close friends with a superhero at the time. They waited and waited for him, wishing that the man would show up and rescue their parents.

But the minutes only turned to hours, and hours turned to days. Even in the funeral, no superhero showed their face.

It was the day The Incapacitator was born. Injustices with no one to help only piled up, and the anger only increased until finally, everything he once was had turned into the man who sits in that room today.

Leo understands. Or, at least, he can sympathize. But why does it have to go this far? “You do know that if you drain the whole Earth of its energy, it’s possible that it would just implode in on itself,” he points out.

Joel laughs. “I just say that to spook the superheroes. You know them. They don’t do anything unless it involves drama.”

“You kidnapped me to prove a point. It’s not like you don’t.”

“I don’t. I prefer to be practical.”

“Practical? What if you get hurt?”

Joel shrugs. “Big game, big risks.”

“What if you die?” Leo asks, exasperated. “What if this is the one to end it all? You told me that your line of work is the one where people make you retire. Why would you put them in that position when you don’t have to?”

The expression on his father’s face changes. “I’m not going to explain anything to you.”

“I don’t need you to explain it to me. I don’t want to get involved in it.”

“Yes, you’ve made that very clear.”

Leo huffs. Why can’t he understand? “Dad, please. Don’t do this.”

“This is not your fight,” his father says decisively. “You’ve never wanted to be on the same side as me. I’m letting you. But don’t interfere with my plans.”

“It’s going to hurt a lot of people.”

“People die. That’s just what they do.”

“People? People like who, Nana and Pops?” Leo regrets the words as soon as they come out of his mouth. Horrifying still is the look of shock and hurt on his father’s face, turning the silence that ensues into something stinging.

He can kick himself. He should kick himself. He should have never gone that far. “I’m sorry, Dad. That was a terrible thing to say,” he apologizes. “It was hard on you when you lost them. I’m not as young as you were, but I don’t want you to die either. No matter how many offenses the law has listed under your name and how much they’re offering people for your capture, you’re still my dad. My world will also fall apart if something happens to you.”

For a moment, Joel only glowers at him. Then, he scoffs. “I can’t believe you know that they have a bounty on my head.”

“Well, I have to find a way to pay for college,” Leo jokes cautiously.

Joel chuckles. He’s still notably upset, but it’s obvious the tactic has worked. “So was that what you were dreaming about? That I died?”

Leo nods. “I was in Mighty Med. They told me you were dead.”

A smile teases at Joel’s face. “That upset you?”

“Of course. Who would ever want to wake up in a world where their parents are gone?” Remembering more of the dream, his frown deepens. “Krane and S-1 were also there. They told me it’s my fault that you died.”

“Krane. I took care of him a long time ago.”

“I know. It was the first time I asked you for help.” Leo hesitates before pointing out, “You know, you didn’t have to go that far. You could have just overloaded them and shorted them out. You didn’t have to…”

“Eliminate them? Of course I did. He was going to hurt you. He also didn’t seem to be the kind of guy who stops after you fire a warning shot.”

“You do know that what you did technically counts as being a hero, right?”

“Hm.”

Leo smiles for the first time. “You know, if Uncle RT finds out you—”

“Don’t.” Joel directs a steely stare at him. “Don’t mention any of the three of them anymore. I don’t want to talk about the dead right now.”

The smile on his face wanes. “Okay.”

Joel nods at the set of clothes sitting on the feet of the bed. “Change into that. You’re gonna be here a while so you might as well be comfortable.”

“Wait. You’re gonna be staying in?”

“Like I said, I’m practical. The longer you’re gone, the more desperate they’ll be. It’s easier to work with desperate people.”

“Aren’t you worried that they’ll find us here?”

“How? I fried your phone while you were sleeping, you don’t have bionics that—”

“You fried what!”

“—can trace, we’re in the middle of nowhere—” Joel smiles as he walks out the room. “They’ve got nothing.”

Leo feels like his brain has shorted out from that one information. “How could you destroy my phone? I worked hard to get that paid off!”

“I can always get you a new one,” Joel calls from down the hall.

Leo groans. That one was mine, though! “Why are you doing this to me?”

His father makes no reply.

Leo sighs, defeated. “You know, I feel like if I had superpowers, we’d be having a different conversation right now.”

His father slowly drifts to the door. “Why? Do you feel like you might?”

“I said if,” Leo says, irritated. “Let’s face it, Dad: I’m 17. Yours started showing up at 5. It’s time that we both accept that I’m a loser in that genetic department.”

“You know you’re not a loser,” says Joel. He shrugs. “You never know. Maybe you’re just a late bloomer. Maybe it’s just taking you longer.”

“Or maybe it’s really just not in me.”

“Could be trigger-based, too,” Joel muses. “Stress…”

“Had four years of that in high school.”

“Life or death situation?”

“Almost died five times, on my last count.”

Joel frowns thoughtfully. “Toxic waste?”

Leo deadpanned. “There ain’t no way I’m going to let you drop me in a pool of one just to see.”

Joel watches him closely. “Do you want superpowers?”

“I don’t think it’d make a difference at this point. I mean, it’d be cool,” Leo admits, “but if I just don’t have it, I just don’t have it.”

Joel nods thoughtfully. “Well, let me know. We could make a bid for the Arcturion if it’s something you want.” He smirks. “I have a better chance at it than she does.”

“Wait,” Leo calls after his father. He swings his feet off the bed, and it’s then that he realizes he’s chained. “Dad, what is this? Why’d you bolt me to the floor?”

“In case they do find us here!”

Leo fiddles with the lock a moment but decides to abandon it for now. “What’s the Arcturion? What’s that?”

“Do you want to help me with this one device I’d been working on? I could never get the mechanics quite right. Maybe you’d have an idea on how to fix it.”

“Yeah, sure – but what’s the Arcturion?”

Joel only chuckles. The real reason why I wanted this transponder, he thinks but as with all unspoken words Leo doesn’t hear it.

Not that he should. He has decided his son can’t know about it yet.

After all, it’s the true key for The Incapacitator to be the most powerful of them all.

[miss-tc-nova]

Sunrise - Jihyun/V x Fem!Reader Pt 3

Kinda short, but I like this chapter. Some fluffs. 

Part 3: Nap Time

                Since our whacky encounter and the art exhibit, Jihyun and I have been communicating rather frequently. For the most part, we just send voice clips; it’s our version of texting I guess. In fact, I enjoy it far more than texting since I can hear every ‘lol’. It just communicates better for us. It also allows me to listen to his words on repeat, which I shamefully do at home before I go to bed. Hearing his soft, sincere voice just soothes my soul and I feel like everything I’ve been worrying about will turn out alright. However, his latest clip said something about being gone for a while and I haven’t heard from him in a week now. Not only do I miss him, but I’m kind of worried. So while I have a break between commissions and setting up shop, I head to his house.

                I knock briefly on the door but, deciding I’ve waited long enough in a matter of seconds, I grip the doorknob. I don’t like that it’s unlocked but I let myself in.

                “Jihyun?” I call after seeing no sign of the man. “You home?”

                To my relief, I hear an answer. “In the kitchen.” I make my way to the said room where I find the man in one of the chairs. He looks exhausted and he’s a dirty mess, leaves in his hair, dirt across his face, and his clothes disheveled.

                “Hey,” I greet.

                “What are you doing here?” he asks softly.

                I plant a hand on my hip, standing in front of him. “Well, you went MIA and I got worried about you.”

                His brow furrows. “Oh? Didn’t I tell you I might not be able to talk for a while?”

                “You did, but I felt like a week was far too long so I had to come check on you.” Reaching out, I pluck a leaf from his hair. “What happened? You look like you fell into a bush.”

                An unbothered smile flickers across his face. “Maybe.”

                Sighing, I grab his hand, pulling him to his feet. “Come on.”

                “What are you doing?”

                I pull him upstairs and push him into the bathroom. “Take a shower and get cleaned up. You’re a mess.”

                “Ah, but-”

                “Hurry up. I’ll go get you some clothes.”

                The man frowns briefly but heads in while I go for his bedroom. I pick out a sweater, some sweats, and grab the first pair of boxers I find before heading back. I knock briefly and he confirms he’s in the shower. I open the door just enough to toss the clothes on the counter by the sink and make my way down to the kitchen. I’ve got a warm soup brewing by the time Jihyun comes downstairs.

                “How do you feel?” I question, taking the towel from his hand.

                “A little better, I suppose,” he hums.

                “Good.” We head for the living room. “Sit. On the floor.”

                “On the floor?”

                “Yep.” He never argues with me much and sits in front of the sofa for me. I begin running the towel over his hair.

                “You really don’t-”

                “Hush. It’s fine.”

                He sits silently while I work most of the water from his hair. “Are you...cooking something?”

                “Mmhm.” I peek at the clock. “It should almost be done. I’ll be right back.” Food is ready and I serve up two bowls. Returning to the living room, I look down at the man who’s innocently still sitting on the floor. “You can move to the couch if you want.” In response, he pushes himself up onto the furniture. “Hands out.” Frowning, he does as I order and I carefully ease a hot bowl into his hands. “Careful, it’s hot. Do you mind if I put something on the TV?”

                “No, not at all. Go ahead.”

                We eat quietly while the television fills the silence. Once dinner is done, I return to the kitchen with the dirty dishes and put the leftovers away.

                “I put the leftovers in the fridge for you for later,” I grunt, flopping back onto the couch.

                “Why...?” I glance to the man. “What are you doing?”

                “Sitting here debating if I should prep some other meals for you with how empty your fridge is,” I reply.

                “You know that’s not what I meant. Why are you doing all this for me?” Jihyun truly doesn’t seem to understand my kindness and I find that kind of heartbreaking.

                “Because you’re my friend. I want to help you when I can,” I mutter.

                “But...I didn’t ask-”

                I stop him there. “I know. I know that you’re not the kind of person to ask for anything, even if you were on your deathbed. I know that you try so hard not to bother anyone but that bothers me.” Those foggy eyes widen. “So I’m going to help, even if you don’t ask. Because otherwise, I’ll worry about you.”

                Jihyun turns his face away. “...Thank you.”

                I give a weak laugh. Our light chatter dies out and I turn my attention to the TV. After a little while, however, I notice that he’s nodding off. His eyes keep fluttering and with how his head is bobbing, I’m worried he might just fall off the sofa.

                “Hey, you okay?”

                Those mint eyes snap open, blinking rapidly. “Yeah. Sorry. I guess today was just exhausting. Doesn’t help that I don’t get too much sleep lately.”

                I can tell that there’s something bothering him but I know he won’t tell me if I ask. Still, I feel like I shouldn’t leave yet. “Would you like to do something else?”

                “No, it’s alright. I just...” Jihyun interrupts his own sentence with a yawn. I scoot a little bit away from him, putting the throw pillow in my lap. Reaching out, I tug at his shirt. “What are you doing?”

                “Just trust me,” I urge.

                He lets me pull him down to rest his head in my lap. “Are you sure-”

                “Shh,” I cut him off, running my fingers through his silky hair. Jihyun doesn’t resist any more and the shows go on. The man seems to just melt beneath me and his trust causes a knot in my stomach. Only about half an hour later, I glance down to see him long gone, breathing deep and steady. The urge to snap a picture is irresistible. Tossing the throw blanket over him as well, I continue playing with his hair.

                Without intending to, I fall asleep there, with Jihyun across my lap.

 ~~~~~

                Grumbling softly, I blink through bleary eyes. To my greatest surprise, Jihyun is leaning over me, causing the blood to rush to my face. One arm is under my legs and the other is behind me.

                “Well hello.”

                A flush bursts across his face and the man immediately separates himself from me. “S-Sorry! I didn’t mean to wake you! I was afraid you were uncomfortable and-”

                I sit up. “Do you always apologize so enthusiastically?” He seems to relax somewhat. I try rubbing the sleepiness from my eyes. “Have a good nap?”

                There’s hesitation. “Yes. Thank you. It’s been a long time since I slept so well.”

                “Glad I could help,” I say. “So how in the world did you end up such a mess anyway?”

                The man rubs at the back of his neck. “I was trying to relearn the layout of my yard. Turns out I don’t remember it as well as I thought. I gave up after falling into the third bush…” He seems defeated.

                Reaching out to take his hand, I pull him onto the sofa with me. “Can I ask when you lost your sight?”

                Jihyun doesn’t immediately answer. “Eight months ago.”

                “So you’re still trying to adjust,” I conclude. He doesn’t respond. “All by yourself…How the hell did we even meet that day?”

                “That was actually the first time I’d been out since losing all my vision. I was on my way to talk to Jumin because he wanted to talk about me starting photo exhibits again.”

                “Wait. You invited me to an event you weren’t even sure you were going to hold yet?” I ask.

                I see that tint across his face. “Um…Yes.” I giggle. “But when I met you, I thought that I wanted to cling to that light you brought.” I’m not giggling anymore. “I didn’t have to see you to know that maybe I wouldn’t be stuck in darkness forever. But, as you can see, I’m still pretty much a coward.”

                “Are you kidding? I’d be terrified to even leave my bed if I were in your shoes. But you did and now here we are.”

                He quips back, “Yes, with you breaking into my house, making me take a shower, feeding me, and then putting me down for a nap.”

                “God, you make it sound like I’m your mom,” I grumble.

                “You did also pick out my clothes.”

                “Shut up. Next time you’re getting a shirt that says ‘If lost return to _____.’ And then my phone number will be written on the back of it. Yeah, no. That’s what you’re getting for Christmas.”

                “Geeze. You are my mother.”

                “That’s it! Go to your room!” Even I can’t take myself seriously and we just fall to laughter. It’s like music to my ears and I know I’d do almost anything to hear him so happy. “I hope you understand this means I’m going to have to check on you every day now, right?”

                Yes mother,” he drones.

                Picking up the throw pillow, I whap him against the head repeatedly while he defends himself laughing. 

[herkiss-theriot]

Lol I know absolutely no one asked but here I am, arbitrarily ranking Kid Krow songs because this is a music blog now apparently and it’s my favorite album so far this year. Feel free to shoot me an ask for any elaboration or other opinions lol. Sorry for the long post. I would add a keep reading but I’m on mobile and the mobile app is somehow worse than the website. I’m also not tagging this so if this gets notes it’s not my fault. Also I’m editing the post em to say that I think this whole album is amazing and it pains me not giving every album a 10/10 bc they’re all so good

Comfort Crowd - 11/10

One of the best album intros I’ve heard compared to other albums I like. It means a lot to me and is overall a really easy song to listen to in basically any mood but is a great pick me up I think it also has one of my favorite lines on the album “you say through a sigh that I said that line already”

Wish You Were Sober - 8/10

A fun song to listen, has some solid lines. Not very relatable in my experiences but that’s also not the point lol. Favorite line(s): “knees weak, but you talk pretty fly, wow” “gettin’ good start saying gotta bounce”

Maniac - 8/10

One word titles are always fun but also -2 for some ableist language. Ik that’s not always at the top of Woke Cultures to do list but it’s a real problem and provides for some cringe vernacular choices sometimes. Overall it’s a pretty good song and is definitely one of the best on the album that’s playable even outside of the album/to people who arent into Conan. Conan apparently describes it as an “upbeat bedroom pop banger” according to genius which I guess, yeah, but what a way to describe a song. Favorite line: “we had magic, but you made it tragic”

(Online Love) - 9/10

First interlude if the album which is very exciting. Very cool idea to say that he thinks this love could be more if it were in person which translates well into current scenarios. Has a really cool guitar pattern and a nice ending. -1 bc it’s 30 seconds long favorite line: “I can’t help but imagine what maybe could’ve happened if we weren’t just an online love”

Checkmate - 10/10

Ik this was released pre-Kid Krow but god it’s one of his best songs and I’m so glad it made it on the album. It’s just got such a good energy about it and I always love chess analogies. And Ik Kid Krow Isnt a concept album by any means but I love the story arc going on of finally catching on. Favorite line(s) “cry me a river till you drown in the lake” “holding your hand but in the other one, baby I’m holding a loaded gun”

(I wrote parts for the cut that always bleeds and fight or flight and then accidentally deleted them so rip me sorry if they’re a lil short/less in depth)

The Cut That Always Bleeds - 8/10

It’s overall a great song and is really emotional but -2 bc I ugly cry to this song and get asked if I’m okay a lot lol favorite lines: “I don’t love you anymore” a pretty line that I adore”

“Can’t life another minute bleeding from my back cause I don’t have another one for you to stab”

Fight or Flight - 11/10

What a song. There’s not a lot I can say other than that it’s literally one of the greatest songs I’ve ever heard. It’s got some of the most genius song writing that I’ve heard on an album in a while. Also when I was learning to drive with my Nana i had a playlist that would go from Comfort Crowd to Fight or Flight which is an experience I recommend everyone have at least once in their life. My only criticism of this song is that it’s perception of cheating is a lil Disney-channel-esque” which maybe doesn’t make sense and also I’m fairly certain that he writes from personal experience and who am I to say he can’t write what he wants lmao.Favorite line(s) “id rather lie than tell you I’m in love with you” (one of my favorite lines EVER) “they also didn’t know that our lover loved us both.

Affluenza - 7/10

A fun song but is kind of a lot in my opinion and seems vaguely out of touch. However I do agree with the overall sentiment of eating the rich (also if you’re a trinkets fan I think this is a good song for an Elodie playlist or maybe even Tabitha depending on the perspective.) although I will say it’s a really good take on the idea of affluenza as a concept. favorite line “give me none of your affluenza”

(Can We Be Friends) - 6/10

Ik it’s an interlude so it’s kind of the point but definitely a skip most of the time even though I think the line “if anybody fucks with you I’ll knock their teeth out” gods hard. I just think one minute is a really weird time frame for a song. Sub one minute is just short enough to want more and 1:30 and perfectly acceptable for a song but one minute is v awkward

Heather - 10/10

Not amount elaboration would ever be able to perfectly encapsulates how gorgeous the idea of this song is. This idea that you wish you wish you could be someone else because you feel that this other person is otherworldly and is more deserving of the person you love. That feeling is gut wrenching. Favorite line “why would you ever kiss me, I’m not even half as pretty”

Little League - 5/10

I’m so sorry it’s just such a skip. I don’t know why but I can’t listen to this song. It reminds me of a big time rush song for some reason which isn’t a bad thing but every time I try to listen to it I think about how I think it’s a btr copy 😭 also when I do listen to it makes me cry a lot and yearning for a youth that I let waste away and I hate feeling actual feelings so minus points for that. Favorite line “when we were younger we wore our hearts out on our sleeve, why did we ever have to leave? Little league” I think it’s my favorite bc it can be interpreted in a couple of ways and I’m too tired to get into it rn

The Story - 10/10

Simple. Beautiful. One of the first Conan songs I heard. My friend was a huge Conan fan and so I listened to a couple songs like generation why and crush culture but she saw him in concert b4 kid Krow was released and took a video of The Story and I absolutely fell in love. The first time I heard it I sobbed. This idea of paralleling a bunch of failed loves and friendships in order to justify why you think yours will work is so cool and I love it a lot. Favorite line “I’m afraid that’s just the way the world works but I think that it could work for you and me.

[musicallynerdy]

hey ryn long time no see that d&d ask meme is insanely cool (frankly I love all of them so I tried to choose but there are still a lot, feel free not to answer all of these), so: 2, 3, 7, 9, 11, 12, 15, 16, 20, 23, 24, 26, 27, 31, 33, 35, 44, 60, 72, 77, 87, 93, 94, 97!

Hi Taylor! Long time no see! I hope you’re hanging in there! @hoot-h00t So, Hannah sent me a few of these last night on my D&D sideblog (@gmsguild) so I’ll skip those ones but I’m gonna do the rest! I’m gonna focus on my primary character, Sahar, my tiefling wizard in my home Tal’Dorei game.  2. Who in the party would your character trust the most with their life? I think our party rogue most likely. A few weeks ago (in game time) the rogue saved her life (literally- failed death save, would have been dead if that shadow hit me again), and Sahar returned the favor in a fight with a succubus, so there’s some trust there. 

3. What are your character’s core moral beliefs? I think she’s redeveloping her morals for the first time in a decade. She’s becoming a better person and it’s interesting really interesting to play. She never hurts kids, she’s willing to do whatever it takes to protect those she loves, and she’s devoted to the pursuit of knowledge. She’s got a dark side and isn’t afraid to hurt or kill to get what she needs, but she’s starting to try not to cause more harm. I think she feels the need to make up for what she’s done in the past. 

7. Describe your character’s current appearance: clothes, armor, scars they’ve picked up along the journey, etc? Sahar Tel’Urdyn is a deep purple-skinned tiefling with these stormy grey eyes with catlike pupils and a light blue nictitating membrane that she can flick over them. Her horns come from her forehead and then curl back forward similar to but not the same as a bighorn sheep (I don’t really know how to describe them?), and she has a thin pointed tail that flicks like a cat’s when she’s excited. Her hair is a darker purple, close to black, and is pulled back in a single french braid. She has a number of piercings, earlobes and cartilage. One of her cartilage piercings has a thin chain that connects to a band around one of her horns. She also has a belly button piercing, a nose stud, and a ring in her tail, all in silver tones. With the exception of the chain, she wears almost entirely studs, bars, or rings. Nothing that could catch on something or make noise. She has a number of scars and tattoos from the Tragic Backstory, but the most interesting is probably a lot of blackwork on her left arm that extends from her hand up to her elbow, almost like she dipped her arm in ink (although there is a triangular design on the hand, almost looking like a bit of that type of glove that only attaches to the middle finger?)-- or more accurately it looks like blackwork but it’s actually a lot of really intricate work, lots of script and sigils.  She wears a white, v-necked, with lacing in the V, like a flowy pirate shirt sorta thing, with black pants and brown leather boots, and a dark blue almost black sash around her waist. She has a dagger at her waist and her spellbook sort of sits in a bit of a holster thing in the small of her back. She hasn’t actually picked up much over the journey... she’s got a really nice dark gray traveling cloak she took off of... some dead body somewhere. She’s also got a wand of magic missiles tucked into a leather thigh sheath. She’s probably got a scar or two from the one battle I’ll detail below in number 15.  9. What deity, if any, does your character worship? What’s their opinion on other people’s worship? She grew up worshiping the Moonweaver but sort of lost a lot of her faith during the Tragic Backstory period. As a wizard she also prays occasionally to Ioun. She doesn’t really have opinions on other people’s worship so long as it doesn’t start causing her problems.  

11. Describe your character’s current relationship with the player character sitting to your right. So my group is a crew of old friends from my hometown, so we haven’t played in person in a while. 

12. What is your character’s current goal, summed up in one sentence? To crack this puzzle cube and learn more about conjuration and transmutation magic in the process. 

15. What battle in the campaign has been most memorable to your character? Oof so we broke this girl out of prison, she’s the daughter of a crime lord, but in the process we sort of... alerted the entire town to what we were doing and our barbarian punched the guard captain in the face? So we were burnt and tried to get out of town and hide, but they sent guards after us and we had no spells left and our barbarian had one rage and our rogue, our warlock, and our druid all went in with like low health and Sahar ended up having to be a tank for the battle and was just casting shocking grasp and somehow we still won? We killed six guards coming after us and somehow got away. That was the moment it was like ok we’re a team and we have each other’s backs even when shit royally hits the fan. 

16. If your character wasn’t whatever class they are, what would they be instead? Probably a bard or a warlock. Magic is just like, ingrained in her and she’s a curious motherfucker so like, if her troupe had lived she probably would have become a bard, or she would have stumbled into something deep and dark and made a pact with something for knowledge. If she had focused in her Tragic Backstory more on the sneaking bit of being an assassin rather than the “i will kill people creatively with magic” bit, possibly a rogue too. 

23. If your character could go back in time and change one thing about their life, what would it be? To not get kidnapped by the crew of the Talon’s Breath because that just started a decade of bad things. On the other hand, without that she probably would never have gotten to Tal’Dorei from Marquet and would never have found the party, which she’s starting to count as the best experience in her life. But it doesn’t erase the previous decade. 

24. Which other player character does your character find themselves having the most in common with? Definitely our party rogue. Tragic Backstory Buddies

26. What would your character say their best trait would be? “My Wit, of course” (her virtue name she used for years was Wit, so that’s a pun)

27. What is your character’s greatest fear? Deep, irrational? Ooh tough one. She’s afraid of losing her powers, I think. Her magic has been what has kept her alive and allowed her to become who she is and I think she’s wrapped up so much of her identity into the magic she wouldn’t know who she is without it. She uses minor illusion like people in the real world use a fidget spinner. I think she’d have a hard time functioning without her magic. It was a source of trauma and now it’s the way she’s helped herself through that trauma. She’s definitely going to need to deal with that at some point but therapists are hard to come by in Tal’Dorei. 

31. What stereotypical group role does your character play in the party? (The Mom, the Mess, the Comic Relief, etc. Optionally: What role would your character play in the “Five Man Band” structure?) Ya know I’m not sure. She’s sort of the brains (her intelligence is like a full 4 points above anyone else’s in the party) but really our party is six dumbasses held together by spit and a prayer and the fact that they keep stumbling on sketchy shit in every small town they come to (literally, they’ve had one town that hasn’t had sketchy shit going on in it) (well, and one city. So two stops on their entire journey). 

33. What person does your character admire most? In our party? Tough choice. Probably Thea, our warlock. She’s a 16 year old human girl and Sahar just thinks the world of this kid. She also has this huge Big Sister drive to keep this girl safe and also teach her about magic. 

35. Why is your character’s lowest stat their lowest (the in-character reason, not “because there’s no reason for a wizard to have 16 strength, duh”)? 10 in strength (I rolled well) but in character, she never really had a chance to develop it. She was the prisoner of a cartel for years and just didn’t have the space or the means to build up her strength. 

44. Does your character think more with their heart or their brain? Brain. 18 intelligence. She’s a wizard. Everything is logic. 

60. What decision would the party have to make in order for your character to consider splitting off from the group? Answered over at @gmsguild with number 20!

72. Who in the party would your character trust the most to keep an important secret? Oof yikes... honestly? Probably Mire, our barbarian. 

77. If your character had to multiclass into a class they currently aren’t the next time they level up, what would it be and what reason would they have for doing so? hmmm..... Something with spells. She’s such a magic nerd she would do something stupid for knowledge. 

87. What major arcana tarot card best represents your character? I’m only skipping this one because I’m not really familiar with tarot

93. Who in the party does your character trust the least? All of them. We all have flaws that make us untrustworthy in particular circumstances. But also she knows all of them have her back if she needs it. She just needs to know their weaknesses so she can help protect them. 

94. What is your character’s biggest flaw? She always has to be in control. It comes from years of not being in control and now she’s a bit of a control freak. 

97. What is most important to your character: health, wealth, or happiness? Happiness. I don’t think she knows what that means yet, but she left employment with a crime lord that could have made her very rich because she knew it wasn’t making her happy.  Thanks, Taylor, that was fun! Took me like 2 hours, but whatev. Hope you’re hanging in there!  Also I’m reading back through this and realizing like, folks trying to piece together her Tragic Backstory from this and my post on @gmsguild are going to have a rough time Much love to my party yall are amazing and I love you (@geekoz87, @skirtsandbattleaxes, @miniaturetanks, @vaguelyconcerning, @tenebris-felidae)

[jeditrilla]

all of second sister’s dialogue

i’ve compiled almost all of her lines, as well as the databank info on her and lines about her said by other characters for fanfic writing purposes. lmk if i forgot something and pls beware of spoilers.

SCENE 1: Brocca

Second Sister: Is this all of them?

Second Sister: We seek a dangerous fugitive. This is no common anarchist but a devotee of the treasonous Jedi Order. Failure to turn over this traitor will result in a charge of sedition. Turn yourself in or everyone present shall face summary execution.

Prauf: (...) To the Empire... we’re all just expendable.

Second Sister: Yes, you are. (kills him)

Cal: NO!

Second Sister: Look at this. A lightsaber.

SCENE 2: Brocca II

Second Sister: Going somewhere?

Second Sister: I recognize that stance. Perhaps you had some training after all. Who was your Master, Padawan? Someone I killed, perhaps? What Jedi gave their life so that you might live?

SCENE 3: Brocca III (aboard the Mantis after escaping Second Sister)

Cal (about Second Sister): Who was that back there?

Cere: An Imperial Inquisitor. She’s a Force user hunting Jedi survivors. And now that she knows who you are… She will not stop until she destroys you.

DATABANK: The Second Sister - 1. The Second Sister

A relentless Imperial Inquisitor, the Second Sister arrives on Brocca to hunt Cal Kestis, a surviving Jedi Padawan. Sadistically toying with her prey, she ruthlessly kills Cal’s friend, Prauf, before striking. In the attack, Cal is forced to flee, barely escaping, but the hunt has only begun.

SCENE 4: First mention of Trilla

Cere: When the Purge started… Clone Troopers turned against us, my Padwan and I took several Younglings and went into hiding. But… we didn’t last long. Imperial patrol was about to discover our location so… I tried to lure them away from my Padawan, Trilla. She stayed behind with the Younglings. But… they caught me. And they... tortured me. They wanted to know about the others and… How many were left but mostly they wanted to know about… Cordova. And where he went.

Cal: But you escaped.

Cere: Yeah, it was a prison riot. I saw my opportunity and I took it. But they almost broke me… And I am not the same as I was, Cal.

Cal: Your Padawan… did she survive?

Cere: No.

DATABANK: Cere Junda - 3. Cere’s Padawan 

Cere shares an awful memory about her past. During the Jedi Purge, she was captured and tortured by the Empire. She was able to escape, but her Padawan was not so lucky. Years later, the event has left her scarred and reluctant to use the Force.

SCENE 5: Imperial excavation

Second Sister: Cal Kestis. How predictable. Oh, yes. I know your name… Your past… And most importantly, about Cordova… Tell me, where did you hide the Holocron?

Second Sister (after Cal ignites his lightsaber): Outstanding.

(Shield scene after the fight)

Second Sister: You’re learning. Not quite as gifted as Cere’s last apprentice but not bad.

Cal: You’ve been keeping count.

Second Sister: I’m surprised she didn’t tell you. Cere was never good at keeping secrets.

Cal: And you know her so well, huh?

Second Sister: (laughs) She was weak. Cracked at an Imperial torture chair. Surrendered the location of her naive Padawan. They would never have found me… (removes helmet) If it wasn’t for her. (tosses helmet to the ground) She betrayed me.

Cal: You’re Trilla.

Trilla: In the flesh.

Cal (turning away): I won’t let you manipulate me.

Trilla: So sure, are you? When faced with the choice to protect herself or her Padawan, she chose self-interest. She’ll sell you out too.

Cal (turning back): Well, I can handle myself.

Trilla: Can you afford to take that chance? Your new master harbors great darkness. The look on her face when she saw what they had done to me. As I am now. She turned. Exposing her true nature. She used… the dark side.

Cal: She cut herself off from the Force.

Trilla: Oh? How long before she cracks and betrays you too? Is that who you want beside you when you find the holocron? What would Jaro Tapal say?

Cal: You have no right to mention his name!

Trilla: I wonder… What would he think if he could see his Padawan now? 

Cal grunts and comes closer.

Trilla: Skulking in the shadows with a betrayer. Granting her access to a legion of impressionable students.

Cal: No. I won’t let anyone touch them.

Trilla: (turning away) I thought the same thing once.

DATABANK: The Second Sister - 2. Cere’s Padawan

The Second Sister revealed that she was once Cere’s Padawan, Trilla, whose location Cere gave up under Imperial torture. Trilla was found by the Empire and transformed into an Inquisitor.

SCENE 6: comm link conversations on Miktrull

Comm I.

Cal: I found it. But… Cere, why didn’t you tell me?

Trilla: Because she’s a liar.

Cal: You! How?

Trilla: I rerouted communication the moment you tried to contact her. Slicing encrypted transmissions was always a pastime of hers. She taught me once. There’s no technique Cere has that I haven’t perfected.

Comm II.

Trilla: You’re running out of time.

Cal: For what?

Trilla: My scouts located an artifact of interest at the rear of this tomb. Even now I’m studying, learning his secrets. It seems Cordova was rather taken with these Zeffo. Perhaps enough to hide the holocron amongst their bones.

Cal: Yeah, we’ll see how much you learn.

Comm III.

Trilla: More of my soldiers breach this tomb every minute.

Cal: Afraid to face me yourself?

Trilla: Had your droid not intervened, I would have killed you with ease.

BD-1: BEEP!

Cal: It’s okay, buddy. Just ignore her.

Comm IV.

Trilla: Imagine the artifacts the Empire would’ve missed if it weren’t for your intervention on this backwater planet.

Cal: Sure it’s worth the cost? I hear Project Auger came at a high price.

Trilla: Stormtroopers and workers. Expendable resources.

Cal: You’re a monster.

Trilla: I am what Cere made me.

Comm V.

Trilla: I’ve taken the artifact back to my ship for analysis. Pity you couldn’t make it in time. 

Cal: Doesn’t matter what you steal. You’ll never understand it.

Trilla: Yet you do?

Cal: You’ll find out soon enough.

Trilla: I’ll take those odds.

Comm VI.

Trilla: I noticed something while examining this sarcophagus. It’s a very convenient location to dispose of nuisances.

Cal: You lured me here. Was this your plan all along?

Trilla: You truly have the wits of a scrapper.

Comm VII.

Trilla: You survived.

Cal: Not part of your plan?

Trilla: Luckily, I always allow for contingencies.

Comm VIII.

Trilla: Very good, Padawan. You’ve cleared the way.

Cal: What are you talking about?

Trilla: (laugh) I needed this tomb raised. And now that I have what I need, you’re of no use to me.

SCENE 7: Discussing Trilla

Cal: I had a nice chat with the Second Sister. Trilla.

Cere: What did she tell you?

Cal: She told me… She told me you betrayed her to the Empire. Is it true?

Cere: She’ll say anything to jeopardize this mission.

Cal: Is it true?!

Cere: She was my apprentice. Before the Purge.

Cal: You should have told me.

SCENE 8: Force Echo on Kashykk

Trilla: Normally I wouldn’t waste my time with the likes of insurgents. But I’m looking for a Jedi Padawan. And I know he’s been here.

SCENE 9: Ninth Sister

Ninth Sister: I don’t know what’s got Second Sister thinking you’re so important… She likes her souvenirs, but… I’m not in it for the memories (...)

SCENE 10: Family dinner on the Mantis

Cal: (...) Things are bad down there.

Cere: Inquisitors?

Cal: Well, Trilla… (corrects himself) The Second Sister… Is gone for now but she’s still chasing us.

(...)

Cere: (describing her capture and torture and how eventually Darth Vader came) In the end I gave them Trilla. And I know there’s nothing I can do to make that right.

DIALOGUE (not sure about the order here)

Cal: I’m not Trilla. I’ll be fine.

SCENE 11: After the temple

Cere: Cal, it’s time I told you everything that happened to me when I escaped the Empire. They brought Trilla in the room. And when I saw her eyes… They showed me what I had caused. She was an Inquisitor. And something in me gave. And I lost all control. I tapped... into the dark side. And I killed them all. Every last one of them. Except for her.

SCENE 12: During the Force vision

Second Sister: Cal Kestis. Surrender now and we may spare the youngest… That’s right. On your knees.

SCENE 13: Finding the Holocron

Cal: Had a bad feeling I’d see you here.

Trilla: Oh? How uncharacteristically prescient of you. Here I thought your greatest virtue was your dogged persistence as you stumble from one debacle to the next.

Cal: Guess you made a mistake not killing me on Bracca then.

Trilla: A scant mercy. I wagered one meaningless Padawan against a prize that will win me the Emperor’s favor.

Cal: You think I’m gonna let you walk away with the holocron?

Trilla: Of course not. We both have our pride. But yours has cost you the lives of all the Force-sensitive children on that list. As well as your own.

Cal: Like you said, Trilla. I’m persistent.

(AFTER THE FIGHT, as Cal grabs her lightsaber)

Trilla: Careful with that thing. It’s been through hell.

SCENE 14: Force echo of Trilla’s lightsaber

Trilla: Don’t go. We need to stick together.

Cere: No. I’m going to lure them away and then I’m going to circle back. Stay with the Younglings, Trilla. May the Force be with you. 

Trilla: Master, don’t leave us!

Youngling: Trilla, what’s going to happen?

Trilla: It’s okay. It’s okay.

DATABANK: The Second Sister - 3. An Inquisitor is born

When the Second Sister encounters Cal inside the Vault on Bogano, an unlucky maneuver places her saber in his hands where he witnesses a Force echo of her tragic past. Cal learns Trilla’s history as Cere’s Padawan, including the disturbing details of her capture and transformation into the Second Sister. The revelation leaves Cal momentarily paralyzed, allowing her to steal the holocron.

SCENE 15: inside the Mantis on Bogano

Cal: Cere. I saw what happened. Between you and Trilla. What you both went through. I’m so sorry. I was arrogant, I was foolish. I could never understand what you went through.

Cal: She has a holocron. I don’t know where she’s taking it.

Cere: I’m responsible for the path that Trilla is on. And what she does next is the cost of all of my mistakes.

Cal: Our mistakes… are in the past. And it’s all of our responsibility and it’s about what you do next that’s important. You taught me that, Cere.

Cere: You’re right. I know where she’s taking it. There’s a fortress. Where they take Jedi. Where the Inquisitors come from. It’s a place of torture.

SCENE 16: Fortress Inquisitorius

Cal: Trilla. I saw what you’ve been through. You’ve experienced great suffering. It’s not too late to let it go.

Trilla: Let go? I’m stronger now because of the pain.

Trilla: I knew you’d come back for this. No thank you? You’ll never make it out of this place alive.

(They fight; Cal injures her shoulder and she falls to her knees. Cere shows up.)

Cere: It’s over, Trilla.

Trilla: Nothing is ever truly over.

Cere: This fight is over. I know the darkness that is eating you up inside and every day we choose to either feed it or fight it.

Trilla: It’s too late, Cere.

Cere: No. It’s not. I know the choices that I made took all your choices away. And I have failed you, Trilla. I failed you. And I’m so very sorry.

Trilla: I’ve carried so much hate for you.

Trilla (When Darth Vader strikes her down): Avenge us.

BATTLE DIALOGUE: You can’t run forever. / That was nothing. / No. / A poor show of skill. / That was slow. / I’m the superior fighter. / Your demise draws nearer. / I’ve suffered far worse. / This is too easy. / Oh, so close. / You’ll have to do better. / Know your place. / You can’t win.

[lordsister]

I’ll Be Home (Jumin Han x Reader)

Pressing your hand flat against the smooth, cold glass of the window, you sighed, somewhat relishing in the slightly unpleasant feeling that radiated up your arm from the contact. Your tired mind spun with lazy, nonsensical thoughts.

If you kept your hand pressed against the window long enough, would it freeze to the glass?

Outside, flurries of snow drifted from the sky, resembling cotton balls. Cotton balls falling from the sky? That would be interesting.

Something soft brushed your leg and you reached down mindlessly to pet Elizabeth the 3rd. Weren't animals supposed to help relieve stress? If so, then Elizabeth wasn't doing her job right.

You heard her meow and finally tore your attention away from the window, meeting bright blue eyes gazing up at you with something that looked like concern. Or maybe you were just imagining it, like how you must've imagined Jumin promising you he would be home for Christmas.

For the year the two of you had been married, it felt like Jumin was only ever gone on business trips when something important was happening or when a particularly special holiday was going on. You had accepted it at first, reminding yourself that he was the Executive Director of a major international company and what that position entailed in terms of work, but you still found yourself unable to stifle the aching loneliness growing in your heart.

Of course, Jumin spent every free moment he had with you, but that presented yet another issue. Even when he was with you, it felt like he was only there in body, his mind and spirit still doing paperwork in his office.

Sighing, you shuffled over to the couch, flopping down on its luxurious cushions. Staring at the shadowy ceiling, you tried to will away the heaviness in your heart. Before he had left for his latest business trip, Jumin had assured you that he would be back before Christmas, that he would be there to spend the holidays with you.

Apparently that plan had fallen through yet again.

Jumin said he would be back on the 20th. It was now the 24th and there was still no sign of him returning. It was Christmas Eve, one of the happiest days of the year...and you were spending it alone. Sure, any of the other members of the RFA would probably be more than happy to take you in for the evening, but you didn't want to intrude on their own festivities.

Yoosung was with his family...

Zen was at a party celebrating the opening of a new musical...

Jaehee was busy with the holiday fervor at her cafe...

Seven and Saeran were rekindling their bond with the aid of Christmas spirit...

And V was...well, who knew where V was. The point was that all of them were busy with other things and by no means were you going to be a burden to them with your misery. Besides, none of them were who you really wanted to spend Christmas with...none of them were Jumin.

"I promise I'll be home in time for Christmas."

Bits of his last phone call ran through your mind like a broken record, making you bury your face in one of the sofa cushions. The last time you had talked to him was on the 19th, and the conversation had ended in tears, your broken, choked voice reminding him that he had promised you he would be there. Closing your eyes, you allowed the memory to play, desperately trying to analyze what went wrong and what you could've done differently.

"What time are you going to be back tomorrow?" you asked, a smile on your face as you held the phone between your ear and shoulder and poured yourself a mug of peppermint tea.

Jumin went silent on the other side of the phone and you froze, eyes wide as a foreboding dread filled the pit of your stomach. No...there was no way he would do this to you again...right?

"I'm really sorry about this, (y/n)..."

No.

"If it was my choice I would be there with you right now..."

Stop.

"I promise I'll make this up to you..."

Why not just keep the first promise, and not have to make anything up?

"But I won't be coming home tomorrow."

Your knees shook and you set the teapot down before you dropped it. Leaning against the countertop for support, you did your best to blink away the tears stinging the backs of your eyes, all of your effort given to steadying your voice as you asked, "The day after then?"

No response.

"The day after that?" you couldn't keep the tremble out of your voice as you asked again and his response pulled a heartbroken whimper from your throat.

"I don't know when I'll be back, but-"

"Not again, Jumin...please, not again," you pleaded in a whisper, not trusting your voice to hold steady if you spoke any louder. His sigh reached you through the phone and you pictured him running his hands through his dark, disheveled hair.

"I know I've missed a lot of time with you this past year, but-"

"I don't care about that, Jumin! It's in the past! I want you here now!"

"(Y/n)," his voice was firm, unyielding despite your evident tears and the exhaustion edging his voice. "Business here is taking longer than I thought it would, but I'll be back by Christmas Day at the latest..."

He kept talking, but you couldn't here it, your ears filled with the sound of rushing blood and the pounding of your own heart.

"(Y/n)? (Y/n), are you still there?"

"Yeah...I'm still here." Still alone, always alone.

"Look, I'm-" You heard the faint sound of a door open on the other side of the phone followed by the muffled sound of voices. A moment later, Jumin returned his attention to you, tone irritated and desperate."Something's come up and I have to go, but I will be there, (y/n). Please...just wait for me a little while longer and then I'm all yours."

Sure, you're all mine until the next business trip, you had thought but didn't say out loud, instead settling for a weak, tired "Okay." Slumping to the kitchen floor, you allowed your tears to run free, small sobs escaping your lips.

"I love you, (y/n). More than anything."

Oh, how you wished you could have complete faith in those words.

"I love you too, Jumin. Come back to me soon." And with that you hung up, curling into a ball and allowing your cries freedom to fill the quiet of the giant apartment, unrestrained.

When you told him you loved him, you meant it with all your heart and you always would, but loving Jumin was starting to hurt and your budding doubt over the sincerity of his feelings was taking its toll.

Now, as you lay sprawled on the sofa, Elizabeth curled against your side and purring louder than you had ever heard before, questions consumed your battered heart. Was it really too much to ask that your husband be with you during your favorite holiday? Or were you just being too selfish? You wanted to be as supportive of Jumin as possible, you really did, but why did it make you feel so...unloved?  Was it normal to feel this way?

Each negative thought felt like a knife to your heart, bringing fresh tears to your tightly shut eyes and making your raw throat burn. Why? Why did it have to be like this?

At that moment your phone rang and your eyes shot open, plunging you back into reality. Sitting up, you stared at the vibrating device for a moment, contemplating whether to answer it or not. You didn't really want to talk to anyone right now, but...what if it was important?

Picking it up, you looked at the caller ID, blinking a few times as your eyes adjusted to the bright light of the screen. You stared at it for a second, surprised to see that it wasn't Jumin who was calling you, but V. What could he be calling for?

"H-Hello?"

"Merry Christmas, (y/n). How are you doing?" the bluenette's calm, soothing voice asked, his tone carrying a concerned edge.

"Honestly," you sighed. "I've been better, but how are you?"

"Fine..." he trailed off and you could tell what was coming. There was no way V, Jumin's best friend, wouldn't know what had happened between the two of you. "Jumin called me a few days ago." And there it was. "He seemed really upset...and he was drunk."

"V, it's okay. You don't need to-"

"He was crying, (y/n)."

That made you pause, mouth opening and closing a few times. Jumin never cried. One of the biggest problems he had was that he tended to internalize everything, something the two of you had been working on, so to hear that he'd been crying was...astonishing, to say the least.

"He was crying?" you repeated, trying to process what that meant.

"You and I know Jumin better than anyone, (y/n). I know how much of a workaholic he is and I was afraid that would cause problems when he married you."

You snorted. "Looks like you were right."

"But I don't think either of you made a mistake in getting married," V continued, ignoring your bitterness. "In fact, I'm positive you're the greatest thing to ever happen to Jumin."

Running a hand through the white fur of the cat still lying next to you, you tried to focus on something other than the way your heart throbbed in your chest. "If only he felt that way too-"

"He does, (y/n)."

"How do you know that?" The words came out more intense than you had meant them to, but V didn't miss a beat.

"Because he told me so, (y/n)." Your breath stuck in your chest, the pace of your heart ever-increasing. "He told me how unhappy he is to have been away from you lately, (y/n), and how much he loves you."

Your bottom lip trembled. "Why couldn't he tell me himself, V?" Looking up at the ceiling, you tried to keep the tears blurring your vision at bay, tried not to get your hopes up. You hadn't heard such words of adoration from Jumin in a long time. "Doesn't he know how much it hurts me?"

"He's clumsy, (y/n). You and I both know that. Of course he realizes he's unintentionally hurting you, but he doesn't know what to do about it. He finally has someone he loves more than anything and he doesn't know what to do."

And it was at that second that you realized Jumin felt just like you- helpless, useless, unloved.

What you wouldn't give to have him back in your arms at that instant, ready to forgive and embrace everything that was him. He didn't have to be home for Christmas. You loved him. You would wait for him forever.

"(Y/n)? Are you-"

"Thank you, V. I think I understand now."

"..." The line went silent for a few seconds, and you could tell that the blue-haired man was picking apart your words, trying to discern whether you really did. "Okay," he finally said. "I'll trust you on this one. Take care of him for me, okay?"

You blinked. "Okay, but V-"

He hung up, cutting you off before you could point out that you had no idea when Jumin would be back. Setting your phone on the coffee table, you curled back up on the couch, thinking. For the first time in weeks you heart felt light, strong in your love of Jumin. You didn't know how much time passed before your eyes fluttered shut and you drifted off to sleep, the soft, golden lights of the Christmas tree playing against your eyelids.

You woke up several hours later and noticed two things that were different from when you first fell asleep.

First, you weren't on the couch anymore, soft sheets rustling against your skin.

Second, you were being embraced by a warm, comfortable weight.

In your sleepy daze, you snuggled closer, burying your face in something solid. A familiar scent filled your nose and your eyes flew open, shooting up into a sitting position and disturbing your sleeping husband as you displaced the arm that had been holding you close.

"J-Jumin!?"

He groaned in response, making you yelp as he pulled you back against him.

"How are you here? When did you get home? I thought you said you didn't know when-"

Jumin flipped you under him, silencing you with lips pressed passionately against yours. When he pulled away a minute later, he left you breathless. His gray eyes seemed to sparkle as he gazed down at you, brushing stray hairs away from your face.

"I said I'd be home for Christmas, didn't I?"

"Yes, but..." you trailed off, averting your eyes with a blush. Jumin nuzzled into your neck lovingly, breathing you in. "I don't blame you for not believing me. I haven't really done anything to make me very credible lately, but (y/n)?"

Your eyes flicked back to his and your heart swelled at the pure and utter love you saw there. "I couldn't stand to be without you any longer." Cupping your cheek in his large hand, he pleaded, "Please, forgive me for leaving you alone again, (y/n). I'm sorry I made you wait so long."

You smiled naturally for the first time in weeks, tears not of sadness but happiness flowing down your face as you looped your arms around his neck and drew him in for another, longer kiss. "I forgive you, Jumin. I'd have waited as long as it took for you to come back to me."

Wetness dripped onto your face and your eyes widened as your aloof husband, the great Jumin Han, trust-fund kid, and CEO-in-line, cried. Reaching up, you brushed his tears away with your thumbs, kissing him again and again and again.

In that instant, neither of you needed to say anything, enough conveyed through eyes and touch alone. You knew he absolutely loved you, and he knew you absolutely loved him in return.

When he had calmed down, you asked the question that had been weighing on your mind since you realized he was back, the answer to which you were almost afraid of. "When do you have to leave again?"

"Not for a month, and I'm taking you with me from now on." Your jaw dropped, at a loss for words. "(Y/n)?"

"Thank God!" Hugging him close with a new fervency, you buried your face in the side of his neck, enjoying the feel of your husband finally in your arms again. Jumin returned the embrace just as tightly, an affectionate chuckle making his broad chest vibrate.

"I can't leave you behind anymore, (y/n)."

"And I can't be without you anymore, Jumin!"

You and he had already kissed so many times in the space of a few minutes, but yet again you found his mouth pressed to yours, both he and you smiling through the contact. You were pretty sure you would never get tired of kissing this beautiful man.

"Merry Christmas, (y/n)," he murmured against your lips, hands trailing down your sides to coax your legs around his waist. "I love you."

"Merry Christmas, Jumin." Trailing your lips along his jaw and up to his ear, you felt a shiver go down his spine as you whispered, "I love you, too."

The rest of that Christmas Day was spent in intimate reunion, you and he gifting each other kisses and touches as your hearts mended. All was right with the world so long as you had him and he had you.

A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your year!^^ I do not own Mystic Messenger or any of its characters.

[yessoupy]

annual writing self-evaluation (2019)

i. Optional if applicable: link to last year’s self evaluation:

here’s the 2018 eval!

1. List of works published this year (in the order that they were posted):

your skin makes me cry (the walking dead, daryl/jesus)

yellow (harry/reader)

and.... that’s it!!!! yeesh.

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Not that I have a lot of works to choose from, but I’m genuinely proud of YSMMC, my very first longfic. I put so much into that fic and actually FINISHED it. And I’ve re-read it a few times top to bottom and STILL love it. It’s probably my favorite piece of my writing ever.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I like them both, lol. But I guess I can say I wished I’d been able to write more.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I re-read YSMMC on the plane so I could do this. This is my favorite passage, from Chapter 16 (warning: scene is explicit, and why I’m cutting the rest):

Daryl felt him, all over, from the tips of Paul’s hair slipping over his shoulder to brush against Daryl’s chest to Paul’s hand grazing up over his ribs and up his good arm to intertwine their fingers… “You feel fuckin’ amazing,” he groaned, clutching Paul’s hand.

“Shut up,” Paul hissed, hips stuttering and hand clenching tight.

Daryl swept his free hand down Paul’s side and on around to his ass, pulling him closer. “That an order?”

“That’s a ‘shut up or I’ll come before I get to fuck you like I want to.’”

“I make you feel that good?”

“Fuck. You have no idea, do you?” Paul panted, pulling out all slow and gentle, making Daryl’s toes curl and his eyes squeeze shut when he thrust back in. “Hottest thing I’ve ever seen, you lying here for me. You hear those sounds you’re making? Like you can’t help it, like what I’m doing is just what you need—”

“That’s right—” And it was, more than he’d thought it could be, a return to what he’d been denying himself, or maybe wasn’t ready to give himself, for all this time. He blinked open his eyes and Paul was right there. “You’re right,” he breathed.

“Shut up,” Paul repeated, eyes soft and full of something Daryl knew how to name.

“Shut me up,” he ordered, letting himself feel it instead of naming it, taking the moment for the rest of what it was—Paul inside him, finally, like the final piece in a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle he was afraid he’d lost pieces of. That’s right, he thought, eyes rolling back as Paul took him in hand. That’s right.

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

@gaydaryl left my favorite comments on YSMMC over on AO3. I’m reposting all of them because it felt like everything i had consciously tried to do and put into daryl’s character was getting picked up and appreciated. 😍 v affirming [spoilers ahead.... lol]

on chapter 18:

this entire fic is like a warm hug and makes my entire body get the weak gay tremblies!!!! desus's dynamic is so good the entire way through and also daryl having had a husband before and it never being a point of contention and paul getting it and talking about jesse with him... god. it's so beautiful

also i've always been a sucker for "asshole but trying to be a good brother" merle characterization, and this Hit The Spot

i love this !! so much!! i can't wait to see the rest

chapter 19:

OH MY GODDDDD this was MORE than worth waiting for it's BEAUTIFUL i LOVE this fic their complete faith in each other is so good. and daryl's line about negan losin to TWO? SEXY OF HIM

chapter 20:

this fic the entire way through felt like such a breath of fresh air. having daryl be confident in his being gay, having had a long term relationship before, the absolute softness with which you wrote it all... it's so good. i loved it so much and it's one of my fave fics ever, i think, because the characterization is so utterly perfect and feels so real. thank you so much for writing it! 

💜💜💜

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

That last chapter just did NOT want to get figured out. Didn’t help that I was heading into the worst mental health of my life. And then after I finished that fic in September, I ... stopped writing. I’m only just now getting to a place where I can imagine again.

7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:

Reader, lol! Yellow came from a dream I had and the feel of it wouldn’t leave me so I had to translate it into words somehow. It only made sense to write it from that point of view, which was not one I ever thought I’d find a use for.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

From last year’s: “It’d be great to actually have the ability to write something long. I feel like the ideas I have are for short pieces.” I 100% accomplished that. I feel much more comfortable writing explicit scenes, although they still take so much more effort than basically any other isolated scene. 😩

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I want to contribute to more fandoms. I have been nudging along at a timestamp for YSMMC, I’d like to write more in-universe TWD (not canon, because Fuck Canon is my refrain for like, everything), I want to venture back into Star Wars and positively contribute there, and of course baseball!Harry. Maybe even... Prodigal Son? Who knows! the Chappy/Olson from 2018 needs a sequel.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

For the second year running, @chasm2018. My go-to beta is not as comfortable with helping to improve explicit scenes and Hannah volunteering to not only offer help with those but also the rest of the fic... invaluable! Couldn’t have done it without her. And I definitely owe her baseball!Harry.

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

Anytime you see something about a character being insecure in some way about their queerness, that’s me. an example, from your skin makes me cry:

There was a rainbow flag tacked up over his desk. Daryl had known because of what Rick had said when they were out for drinks, that Paul never tried to hide and managed to avoid any bullshit about it because he was so good at his job, but it was another thing to see those bright colors just out there for everyone to see.

“Problem?” Paul asked, a hard edge to his voice.

Daryl had been caught staring at the flag. Fuck, now Paul probably thought he was some ignorant hick homophobe. “No, ‘course not.” He cleared his throat. “Me too. Nice to have some company, ‘s all.” He wanted to punch himself, wanted to slink away out of sheer embarrassment. He hated every time he had to do this. In his head he knew that Paul wouldn’t think less of him, but he couldn’t help but think he didn’t exactly look like he belonged with all the other people who could put rainbow flags up over their desks. Only places he ever felt like he really belonged was out on his bike or in the shop. Only places he felt like he belonged anymore, anyway.

Paul didn’t say any of the worst things he could have said. Daryl had heard them all from well-meaning people who didn’t realize how all of those phrases cut him in different ways. “Oh, I could tell,” was just as bad as, “Oh, I never would have guessed,” if for different reasons. Paul just smiled and said, “Thank you for telling me.” Then they walked together the short distance down the hall to Eugene’s office where Paul told him to let him doing the talking.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Same as always: write what you want to read. And don’t be intimidated by the writing of others. :)

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I left Poe and Marek alone for ANOTHER year. I keep opening those docs and poking at them and now with the sequel trilogy done maybe I can shape them up. 

[ofstvtches]

ROCKY LYNCH,  MASCULINE NB,  HE/HIM & THEY/THEM.  —  looks  like  SAMHAIN SKELLINGTON is  attending  AURORIA  UNIVERSITY  in  auradon.  they're  the  TWENTY  year  old  child  of  JACK & SALLY SKELLINGTON,  which  means  they're  from  THE ISLE.  heard  they're  NURTURING  &  GENTLEMANLY,  but  can  also  be  INFLEXIBLE  &  SELF-PITYING  ;  we  all  have  our  bad  days.  people  normally  associate  them  with  SEWING NEEDLES REPAIRING A BROKEN DOLL , A BAG FULL OF BANDAGES, TRYING SO HARD TO BE TOUGH WHEN YOU’RE SOFT , SOFT HAIR HELD BACK WITH A BAT-SHAPED PIN.

                    ❛  when you saw that little girl , and she was in the sandbox                            and she was crying , and you gave her your toy truck and                            I told you we couldn’t afford to get another one. you said ,                          ‘ she should have it because she’s sad. she’s sad , mommy. ’ ❜                            playlist. pinterest. to listen as you read.

lol u guessed it it’s me , again , by unpopular demand - i am so sorry. third muse already bc i can’t keep myself away from playing absolute CINNAMON ROLLS so that’s what u can expect from sam w/ a pumpkin spice twist. bc nightmare is my absolute favorite movie and ... halloween, motherfuckers. so as usual this will PROBABLY end up long bc i love writing sam so much so yeah , more below ! 

HISTORY 

So as we know , Jack & Sally were sent to the Isle w/ the rest of Halloweentown for trying to steal Christmas ! And unlike Christmas , Samhain was not born in Halloweentown. In fact , he wasn’t even born - he was made. 

Magic wasn’t a huge thing on the Isle - but a resource of science was Dr. Finkelstein , and despite the limited resources and technology on the Isle , the couple begged the mad scientist to create another child for them. And from Sally , it took a lot of convincing , but Jack was able to talk him into it. 

It took even more of an effort to pull off , again considering the state of the Isle. But a good few months into the project and Jack & Sally were greeted with the cries of a tiny ragdoll baby boy. Keeping up with the holiday themed names , he was named Samhain - Sam for short. 

He grew with multiple touch-ups from the doctor to simulate an actual boy growing up - every year , a check-up making him taller , stronger , etc. And in that process he started to look more and more like his mother , with her big eyes and stitched smile and patchwork clothes. But he grew up loved by his brother & parents - though it never quelled the fact he always wanted... more.

He was loved , he was coddled , and as sheltered as a child could be on the Isle. So , much like his mother , he took a habit of sneaking out frequently and trying to fit in with the other Isle kids , even though he knew he didn’t. 

He just wanted to fit in. That was it. And it started off with him wearing large hoods and heavy clothes to hide the stitches on his body as well as masks to cover facial stitches. And while some other Isle kids found him odd and sticking out like a sore thumb , some found him cool. Some found him interesting. But nobody really knew what he was hiding - and it added mystery to someone so NICE , because Sam’s overall sweetness could rival that if sugar’s. 

Curiosity only reached dangerous points though when Sam snuck out on night to camp out with friends - and when everyone else was asleep , one removed his mask , and of COURSE did Samhain immediately wake up. He didn’t stay to see the reaction of the other when revealing his stitches , too afraid that he’d be seen as scary or repulsive for what he was. And he ran. He ran back home , locking himself in his room , and those friends he routinely hung out with . . . well , he didn’t talk to them much after that. Because what if they knew , now ?? What would they think ??

Villain & Auradon kids coming together was a new chance for Sam to try and fit in - be more in his element. He was immediately acquainted with a magic-practicing individual ( could be an AK or a VK - this’ll be a wc ) who struck a deal with him to offer him glamours so he could look less scary. Of course , these glamours would have to be applied and would wear off until the next application , but it’d make him feel more comfortable - even though he WOULD technically be hiding who he is.

While Christmas , the elder sibling , would be sticking around in Auradon Prep , Samhain would prefer to move immediately to Auroria University to try and figure out who exactly he wanted to be , and how he could do that. Currently he’s majoring in Nursing , given he’s always had a rather NURTURING and charitable nature - never turning down someone else’s request to help.

CHARACTER & FACTS 

So lemme get this one thing out of the way bc if I don’t I’ll be itching about it - but all my resources for ( the love of my life ) Rocky were made by me , and while they’re all from multiple eras from both R5 & TDE , I imagine Sam to resemble how Rocky looks around the post-Louder , Heart Made Up On You & Sometime Last Night eras ( basically from like 2013-2015 ). Here , here , & here for some references. I’m nOT DONE GIFFING THOUGH bc frankly I find giffing him therapeutic.

Now I don’t have a drawn reference or anything for this next part so we’re gonna have to use our imagination here but unglamoured , Sam basically looks like his mom in terms of the fact he’s a little ragdoll baby. Putting on a glamour doesn’t change his appearance much save for the fact the stitches disappear and he looks more human. 

The glamour is an enchanted bat charm he wears around his neck that can also be used as a hairtie. And it has to be refreshed every so often , so he has to keep going back to whoever provided him with it so it doesn’t lose its effect.

He still has a backup mask just in case , and he’s been practicing with makeup if need be.

Personality-wise , the best one can describe Sam as is sweet and polite. I included tht Stranger Things quote at the beginning 4 a rEASON bc he’s honestly such a sweet kid and will give anything to anyone.

And also bc I imagine Sally as Joyce mom-wise so yEAH bt I digress.

He knows his manners and treats everyone with the UTMOST amount of respect , which makes it extremely easy to get along with him . He’s also maybe a tad bit too giving for his own good , since it’s incredibly easy to use that to one’s advantage and he’s so inclined to believe people have the best intentions. An optimist , even if it’s to a fault. And then when he gets hurt he just sits to the side feeling sorry for himself like “ :’’’(. ”

Now when I say he’s inflexible , I mean that Sam is a very ORGANIZED person who likes things to be done a certain way - like , he can never do anything without a plan , and if even something slightly goes out of what the plan pertains of , he panics. He’s a goody-goody and he’s afraid to break the rules , which is why he’s still hesitant to even do things with the friends who are more “ bad ” than he is.

Everything has to be done BY THE BOOK and if it isn’t then something is bound to go wrong and Sam’s too worried about that happening.

He’s also incredibly insecure about his appearance but I think I’ve hammered in that fact enOUGH ALREADY

But if he takes his glamour off in front u that’s like. A Major sign of trust. So beware.

Again as I mentioned he tries to hang out with kids with the lesser reputations because :

1.) He wants to give them a chance

2.) He wants to make sure they have a friend to look after them

and 3.) He’s so used to trying to fit in with the other Isle kids that he’s trying to be ‘bad’ himself but it never works out bc he’s so sweet and he can dress in skinny jeans and leather and shit as much as he wants but at the end of the day he’s still Sweet Lil’ Samhain. 

One thing he’s always had a fascination with would be angels - he’s always believed in them , always though he’s had his own guardian angel watching over him somewhere , he’s always loved the idea of them. He has lots of angel decorations around his dorm as well as ornaments and stuff for the holidays. It’s also pure irony that he just so happens to be just as angelic in nature.

He’s also a big holiday person like the rest of his family and loves helping to decorate for events and stuff !!

One of his greatest talents is his ability to play both the piano & violin , and he’ll often do that if there’s a piano in common areas or so on. He’s also a talented singer , but he’s so used to putting that to the side , making him lack confidence in his voice.

i v much encourage u to listen to the song i linked i find his voice so....soothing.

Like his mom he’s also very good at cooking , sewing , etc. !! Often has to stitch himself back together if he gets hurt - you know , Sally style. 

More basic facts are that his final height clocks in at 6′4 , he’s homoromantic homosexual , and identifies as masculine non-binary who doesn’t really care how you address him. He’s very chill. And sometimes he has to walk with a cane of sorts if his stitches are loose or if his legs are feeling especially weak.

but yeah that’s it on that end !!!

WANTED CONNECTIONS

So obviously - the person who provided him with the glamour. Only requirement is that ur character’s good at magic or something of that sort.

AND ALSO - I’d love the person who initially removed his mask !! Sam didn’t stick around to see them react to how he truly looked , so it’s all up to you on how this character feels. But he’s avoided them since that scenario.

Also , his group of friends around the time that scenario happened on the Isle. Maybe they’re a little more rough around the edges than him , but this group was always tight-knit. And then Sam lightning mcghosted bc he wasn’t sure if now they knew what he really was.

Ppl who think his whole sweet thing is fAKE bc we know it isn’t but it’s so easy to THINK it is.

Also would love some folks he routinely cares for maybe in the aspect of like. Bein their shoulder to cry on. Patching up a wound. Just being There for them. 

Folks who in general just wanna know more abt him bc he is kind of a mystery !!

Would lOVE sb who his glamour wears off in front of and he begs them to keep his secret but instead they want him to try n be more comfortable w/ himself and who he is. Bc he’s a cute ragdoll let’s b honest he just. Doesn’t see himself that way. 

Ppl who Sam crushed on at the Isle and deffo broke his heart bc life just b like that sometimes 

Also present day folks who r just ready to break his heart bc again thats so easy to do

also once more i’m open 2 ANYTHINNNNNNG sam is my Baby(tm) and i’d lov any plots thrown his way !! will probs make another wc page for him like i’ve done w/ luke and am in the process of doing w/ trixie !!

[paranoid-fighter]

Drabble: Geoff leads a dance | Vincent is taken dancing

Inspired by one of Geoff’s favourite songs

Author’s Notes: 1) Song in question: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGFToiLtXro Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You by Frankie Valli and The 4 Seasons 2) These two make me happy. I hope they make you happy, too. 3) There’s more to these two than meets the eye.

Word Count:1790-ish Time to write: 2-ish hours? Copyright: Vincent and Geoff belong to me. The song does not belong to me.

Geoff glanced over at the elf on the nearby love seat and smiled to himself - Vincent was engrossed in his book as the tendrils of a philodendron wove his hair into an elaborate braid. He found himself staring at the elf turned the page, watching the slow motions of those long, delicate fingers. Well, as delicate as the battle scarred elf's hands could truly be. Vincent did not look like his brethren; where elves were lean and slender, Vincent was sturdy and broad, with hardly a trace of soft flesh on his solid frame. When combined with his corpse-like body temperature, Geoff often felt like he was hugging a marble statue.

But, Geoff smiled, even David's beauty paled in comparison to the elf.

  He turned his gaze back to his television screen and watched his video game character running through the frozen wastelands of the fantasy world. His character was still a vampire, instead of the werewolf that Vincent had expected, and Geoff had no intention of curing his character. He had his reasons, he would assure his boyfriend; in truth, he didn't want to cure the disease plaguing his character because he knew that Vincent could not easily cure himself of his own unwanted vampirism.

  And so, the werewolf continued to play with his vampiric character, dodging the sunlight as he walked the line between sating his hunger and killing the innocent. "Just feed on the bandits," Vincent would say, "they're criminals." "Well, yeah, but what if they're just turning to crime to feed their family?" "Is Officer Goody Two-Shoes sympathizing with the pixel people?" "I'm not a goody two-shoes." "Yes you are." "Am not--" "Geoff," he sighed, "just accept that you are and go feed your character." "Fine," he huffed.

  Geoff shook his head as he recalled the discussion that had followed the exchange. They had been standing on the balcony, overlooking the city while sipping their beers. They had debated for hours about the ethics of vampirism and lycanthropy, as well as what was the value of another's life. They had talked until their voices had begun to crack and the sun's rays began to peek over the horizon. The conversation had stayed level, much to their surprise, and had led to plenty of discovery for the other.

  Vincent was still slightly surprised to learn that his beloved Geoff was not as good as he appeared to be. Yes, Geoff's heart was made of gold, but there was a streak of viciousness within him that simmered far below the surface. There was only one time that he had ever seen Geoff's temper truly flare.

  ...and he'd be lying if he said that the memory of it still didn't haunt him.

  Geoff, on the other hand, was more than a little surprised to hear just how much Vincent admired Geoff's adherence to the law. The officer knew that Vincent had his own set of morals and guiding principles, but they were sometimes questionable at best - and they rarely ever aligned to the laws that Geoff swore to uphold. "I've always liked that about you," Vincent stared into his beer. "I know that, at the end of the day, you're going to abide by the law of the land, either of man or beast. Some people might say it's a weakness, but it's one of your greatest strengths." He sipped his beer. "You'll always do what's right, even at your own expense." Geoff's cheeks briefly darkened to match his hair. "Nah, it's not--" "Yes it is," Vincent insisted. "You and I both know that you're a rare breed of person. Almost everyone's out for themselves in this life, but you... Not you. You're good, honest." He sighed. "Dare I even say it, you're pure. Despite all the shit that life has heaped on you, you're still a shining example of what it means to be a truly good person." He looked away as he hugged his chest. "And I don't think I'll ever figure out why you even so much as look at me, let alone touch me. I'm the embodiment of everything you hate--" "No," Geoff shook his head as he put a hand on the elf's arm, "you're not. I mean, yeah, you do some questionable shit for work, but you don't really even have a choice in it. If you don't obey, you risk your entire afterlife. I know this now. And I know that you'd rather follow Syph's orders for now than risk being his slave for eternity." The werewolf stepped closer to his lover. "You do good work, Vincent. It's just, well..." "Not ethical? Geoff hesitated for a moment before shrugging. "Who can say if it's ethical? I mean, you go and kill people that kill a lot more people." Vincent snorted dryly before letting himself be pulled into Geoff's strong embrace. "Are you sure you're not just saying that to reassure yourself that I'm not the scum of the earth?" "You're not scum." His lips brushed against Vincent's ear. "I just think you're scared to see yourself as a good person."

  Vincent froze at that.

 He felt Geoff's arms tighten a little more around him before feeling Geoff's lips on the soft skin behind his ear. The man had fallen silent as Vincent stared unseeingly into the night. Geoff... was right. He was afraid. He was very afraid.

  He didn't want to know what would happen if he thought of himself as a good person.

He had spent too many decades building up the persona of the emotionless killer.

That persona was the only thing that kept him sane. He was a murderer, but if he was go--

  Vincent shook his head and closed his eyes. His cool fingers slid under Geoff's shirt. He didn't want to think on this anymore. He leaned into his lover's body and nipped at his ear while he pulled Geoff closer. Like clockwork, he felt Geoff's arms tighten around him as Vincent continued to nibble and squeeze. It was the perfect distraction, he knew, and it was a needed one.

  After all, it was dangerous to think about Geoff's words...

  Geoff smiled to himself as his character snuck up on a sleeping bandit. He knew that he wouldn't forget the night of their discussion - for a variety of reasons. Among them was the fact that it had been the first night Geoff had truly seen the elf as vulnerable. Despite his stature and demeanor, it was the first time that Vincent had ever appeared small and almost painfully mortal.

On top of that, Geoff thought with a grin, it was also the first night that he had been able to lead their bodies through their own intimate dance.

And speaking of dances...

  Geoff saved his game and turned off the console before standing. He made his way over to the laptop that controlled his speaker system and hummed to himself as he scrolled through his library. With a grin, he selected one of his favourite songs. The swell of horns filled his home as he lightly traipsed back to Vincent's couch. He stood before his boyfriend, grinning as he held out his hand.

Vincent looked up to him with a raised eyebrow and a bemused expression. He grinned and rolled his eyes as he took Geoff's hand, letting himself be pulled to his feet. He felt Geoff's hand come to rest on his back as the officer held his hand within his own. His own hand came to rest on Geoff's shoulder, fingers delicately splayed across the worn button down shirt. With his toes almost touching his lover's, he let himself be lead through the steps of a spirited foxtrot.

Their feet barely touched the ground as they danced through their home, the two men smiling as their bodies moved closer together. Geoff could barely take his eyes off his lover's face, all but worshiping the elf's beauty in that moment. Vincent's whole face was alight with his smile, even though the left half of his face was stiff and unmoving. Geoff didn't care, though; he could live a thousand lifetimes in that smile.

Vincent found himself laughing as Geoff spun him around before pulling him closer, his hand once again caressing his back. He could feel the officer's heavy fingers through his own crisp shirt, could feel his lover’s warmth and energy and vitality. He met Geoff's bright gaze and felt his own cheeks darkening; the love within Geoff's gaze was almost humbling in its intensity. No one had ever looked at him like that before, Vincent realized as Geoff dipped his body. The elf trusted himself to those strong hands.

As the music reached its crescendo, Geoff pulled his lover close. "...trust in me when I say," Geoff whispered, "Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray." He leaned his forehead against Vincent's for a moment. "Oh pretty baby, now that I found you, stay. And let me love you, baby." His breath caught in his chest as he fell still. "Let me love you..." Geoff's hands came to rest on Vincent's cheeks as stared into the elf's grey eyes. His eyes closed as he pulled Vincent into a kiss...

 The song faded into the next before they separated. Vincent met his lover's gaze with a wide smile and bit his lip as he tried to contain his joy. Geoff quirked an eyebrow as he, too, grinned from ear to ear. Vincent shook his head and dissolved into delighted laughter as he threw his arms around Geoff's broad shoulders, only to laugh harder as Geoff embraced him again. Geoff's rasping laugh blended with Vincent's, filling their home as he lifted Vincent into the air and spun the elf around.

   Midnight found them curled up in their bed with Vincent's head on Geoff's ceremoniously scarred chest. His fingers traced through the hair on Geoff's chest and made a soft noise of contentment as he felt himself being pulled a little closer to the man's warm body. "We should go dancing," Vincent's voice was thick with sleep, "you're a natural." "I'd like that. I'm not a natural, though. Lotta practice." "Oh?" "Yeah," Geoff blushed in the darkness. "I mean, I had to take a P.E. class in college and it was either ballroom dancing or wrestling." "Why did you pick dancing? Wrestling sounds like it'd be an easy class for you." He glanced off to the side. "...The dance instructor was a cute guy." "Really?" Vincent laughed as Geoff squirmed underneath him. "That's why? What about the wrestling teacher? Were they--" "She was scary!" The elf kissed his lover's chest as he beamed. "I love you." "I love you too, Vin."

[ohgoditsamy]

Am I a clean or messy person? Relatively clean Am I a tea or coffee person? Tea all the way! Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Neither Am I afraid of heights? Not really Am I allergic to anything? I hope not Am I an early bird or a night owl? Definitely a night owl Am I an extrovert or introvert? Introvert Am I an innie or an outie? Innie Am I easily embarrassed? Definitely Am I in a relationship? Yup! Am I left or right handed? Leftie! Am I much of a daredevil? I wish.. Am I scared of the dark? No Am I social? Uh I guess Am I superstitious? It depends Am I ticklish? Oh god.. Can I bake? Not well Can I cook? Again, not well Can I curl my tongue? Yup Can I dance? Uh.. I can do the charleston, the macarena, YMCA.. so uh Can I drive? Nearly!! Can I juggle? Lol nah Can I play poker? Lol nah Can I roll my r’s? You bet Can I sing? Well I’m not tone deaf but I wouldn’t go as far as saying I can sing Can I spell well? I hope so Can I swim? Yup Can I wiggle my ears? Kinda?? Do I correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes.. Do I have a collection of anything? 50p’s, squashed pennies, cool money Do I have a strong accent? Nah Do I have any nicknames? “Weema” - my dad Do I have any pet peeves? Bad grammar, when people spell it “defiantely”, people who put the milk in first Do I have any piercings? Nah Do I have any strange phobias? Let me think about that one idk Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? Probably 50/50 Do I have much of an ego? God no Do I judge a book by its cover? Uh, I guess as first impressions Do I like bubble baths? Too right Do I like classical music? Yeah Do I like clowns? Nope Do I like my handwriting? God no Do I like roller-coasters? Sure Do I like scary movies? Yeah Do I like shopping? Yup Do I like to gossip? Not really Do I like to talk on the phone? Depends who it’s to Do I like travelling? Yeeeepp Do I play any instruments? Piano! Do I sleep with the lights on or off? Of Do I smile at strangers? I try to Do I suck or bite lollipops? Suck, cheeky Do I talk to myself? Yup Do I tend to hold grudges? Unfortunately Do I use earphones or headphones? Earphones, but I prefer headphones Do I use sarcasm a lot? Dunno man, do I Do I want any tattoos? Some cute flowery ones Do I wear glasses? I did for a year? But now I don’t need them? Have I ever been on a plane? Once Have I ever been on tv? Not that I remember lmao Have I ever been to the hospital? Yup Have I ever crashed a car? Not yet Have I ever got in trouble with the law? Not yet Have I ever had a rumour spread about me? Well if it was, I dunno about it Have I ever had braces? Nope but soon I will Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? Yup Have I ever skipped school? Yup, karma got me though Have I ever started a rumour? Idk I hope not Have I ever thrown up in the car? Uh?? I dunno man How long does it take for me to get ready? Not long, I spend most of my getting ready time drinking tea How many relationships have I ever had? Just the one How old was I when I first got my period? I dunno like 12 How tall am I? 5ft 8? What am I most likely to be doing when I am outside? Walking most probably What am I usually doing on a Friday night? Sitting in bed What are my favourite bands? God um, Arctic Monkeys, Two Door Cinema Club, RHCP, Green Day, Gorillaz - idk it changes every 10 minutes What are my favourite flowers? Roses, Daffodils What can I smell in the air? Not much really, maybe shea perfume What colours mostly dominate my wardrobe? Black, blue, crimson What is my appearance like? Pale complexion, brown hair, blue eyes What is my culture? Idk, white british? Is that right? What is my current wallpaper on my phone? A collage of the same picture of my boyfriends face What is my full name and why did I get it? Amy Helen Blackford, because my parents chose it lmao What is my greatest strength? Lmao probably art, I’m just mediocre at everything What is my greatest weakness? Nerves. What is my guilty pleasure? The 80s What is my Hogwarts house? Ravenclaw What is my most expensive piece of clothing? Uh a pair of duck egg coloured docs at a guess What is my most heavily used makeup product? Revolution Flawless Matte 2 What is my most used phrase? Currently “lmao” or “man” cause I’m a generic piece of shit What is my most used word? I don’t really have a personal word count so.. What is my personality like? A bit bland, occasionally funny, easily pissed off, indecisive, persistent, annoying What is my personality type? INTP? Idk I had to google this one What is my religion? Unspecified, I’m not bound to a religion and I as never baptised  - who knows what / if I’ll be. What is my spirit animal?  What is my strangest talent? Uh, this is a weird one but if I were to place my hands as if I were to clap them I can make a weird ass fart noise with my hands?? I haven’t got any decent talents. I’m a bit useless. Oh wait I can cross my legs twice too What is my zodiac sign? Gemini What is one trend that I completely bought into? The 90s trend? What is something I can’t do no matter how hard I try? Fucking piano exams. Playing piano in front of people. Guitar.  What is something I hated as a child that I like now? God, too many things. Eminem, the colour pink, more feminine things What is the last thing I bought? Other than my final set of driving lessons, I bought my boyfriend Mass Effect Andromeda What is the longest I’ve ever gone without sleep? Probably like 20 hours? 22? What is the pet I would like to have? Just more dogs, oh, and a fox What is the worst injury I’ve ever gotten? Spraining my wrist, I’m a bore What language do I want to learn? I know some French, but I’d like to be fluent What video games do I play when I want to relax? Destiny, Overwatch, GTA V.. What was the last book I read? Black-Eyed Susans What was the last movie I saw? Ghost in the Shell, cinema last night What word do I always use as an exclamation? FUCK! What word do I always use to describe something great? Like anything positive, it can range from “cool” to “HOLY SHIT” Where do I currently live? Near Leicester, UK Which is my favourite season? Summer / Autumn

Favourites

What is my favourite accent? French, Russian, posh British (Southern), German, Italian.. most accents really What is my favourite animal? Just dogs, I fucking love dogs What is my favourite band? I dunno this! It changes every 10 minutes! What is my favourite childhood book? I had this giant bumper Disney book  What is my favourite colour? Pastel pink, blues, yellows, greens What is my favourite drink? TEA. What is my favourite flavour of ice cream? Vanilla What is my favourite food to eat on a rainy day? Soup What is my favourite food to eat on a sunny day? Depends, if it’s hot then ice cream! What is my favourite number? 19, no reason it’s just a nice number What is my favourite place on the planet? Scotland What is my favourite radio station? Radio X What is my favourite sandwich? Ham, cheese, lettuce, cucumber and salsa (specifically Subway #NotSpon) What is my favourite snack? Tea and biscuits What is my favourite song? Currently Love by Lana Del Rey What is my favourite swear word? Fuck. It just fits every situation. What is my favourite word? I just came across the word “Idiosyncratic” meaning distinctive, individual and I love it. What is my favourite thing to wear? It’s generic but mom jeans, they’re comfortable as fuck and I have a pair with flowers on so they’re super pretty !

People

Do I remember the day I met …? My boyfriend. The day I met him. Hell yeah he was a weird kid standing on a table - he shook up an energy drink (specifically Rockstar Guava which I happen to love) and stabbed it with a pin so it spirted out. He continued to do this for a few days. Little did I know it was actually to get my attention specifically. How are my mother and I similar and different? We looked exactly the same at the age of 5. However she is very quick to judge people I am not so What are the compliments I have given other people? I like your outfit, makeup, eyes, hair, smile, eye colour, music taste, art skills What are the compliments people have given me? Nice outfit, You’re pretty What do my best friend and I have in common? We’re both gemini and left-handed. This is also my boyfriend. I have a few other close friends but idk if they consider me as close What gifts would I like to give everyone? Everything they want. Paints, anything yellow, games, clothes, anything. What if I could meet anyone on this planet – who would I choose? Bob Ross Where is my best friend? At work, sucks to be him. Which actors & actresses do I trust enough to watch whatever they’re in? Leo DiCaprio, um.. Which teachers inspired me the most? None of my school teachers Who are my favourite characters? From what TV shows? Tony Stonem, Cassie Ainsworth - Skins. I can’t think of any film ones right now.. Who are my friends? Everyone in my college course, a few I met on Xbox Who are my parents? The ones who.. y’know, made me. Those people. Who are my sisters? Just the one, she’s annoying. Jk lmao. Who are the new people I met? – their names and where we met. Kirstyyy!! Met at college and became friends cause she was wearing an MCR shirt that day. Plus all the other folks at college. Who are the writers I trust enough to read anything they write? I need to fuckin read more. Who brings the sunshine on the days I see nothing but a grey sky? The bae lmao plus all my friends. Who is my best friend? I swear we have had this question. Who is my celebrity crush? 90s: Leo DiCaprio, Angelina Jolie, Winona Ryder. But also Kaya Scodelario, Chris Pratt. Mate just anyone if they’re famous and reasonably attractive. Who is my favourite youtuber? Emma Blackery, basically the only youtuber I still have the time and patience to watch  Who is my role model? Probably Emma Blackery Who is my secret valentine? Secret one? Uh, the bae. SECRETS OUT LADS Who is someone I admire? Admiration and appreciate for Bob Ross if you please Who is someone that saved me? Nathan, from my cripplingly low self-confidence and ability to speak to people Who is the most intelligent person I know? This guy called Jamie, can play guitars ambidextrously, is a killer at maths and science. Who is the most supportive person in my life right now? Nathan and Kirsty thx u guys Who was the last person I texted? NATHAN Who would I like to go on a midnight adventure with? Idk man who was I just talkin about Who would I love to randomly see this week? Any friends, I love meeting up with friendos! Who would I really like to hug? NATHAAN Who would I really like to punch? NATHAAAAAAAAAN Why am I grateful for …? Who? Nathan? Cause he’s cool, talks about problems n shit, treatin me right  Why am I grateful for dad? Cause he helps me out with a lot of shit Why am I grateful for mum? Same as dad to be fair

Music

A playlist for 12-year-old me - Every album ever written by; My Chemical Romance, Black Veil Brides, Fall Out Boy A playlist for throwback Thursday, Bohemian Rhapsody, Daydream Believer, Spin me around, Snow (Hey oh), I’m Just Here For The Free Beer A playlist for when I’m angry - Survival, This means war, Lake of Fire A playlist for when I’m in love - Spin Me Around, Love A playlist for when I’m in the mood to party My House, I’m not in love, Earthquake A playlist for when I’m sad - Everybody’s gotta learn sometime, Kitchen Sink A playlist of songs that I have on repeat - My house, Where the girls at,  A playlist that makes me want to dance - Nancy Mulligan, Galway Girl A playlist that makes me want to sing - Mr Brightside, Ruby, Chelse Dagger, Don’t you want me A playlist to inspire me - Anything by Lana A playlist to listen to on the bus/train - Anything by Lana, Twenty one pilots A playlist with the classics - Like a Prayer, True Colours,  A song that really speaks to me - I’m honestly not sure A song that was stuck in my head today - Love, by Lana Bands and their logos - Arctic Monkey’s logo is cool, as is Nirvana’s Song lyrics - “I wanna fuck a dog in the ass” lmao just the funniest lyrics I know from Blink 182 What are the first 6 songs when I put my playlist on shuffle? Semi-Automatic, Are you gonna be my girl, First Date, Blue Jeans, Walk, Lake of Fire What song always brings a smile to my face? Spin me around

Places

A place where the architecture made me want to wake up and see the city skyline every morning - Not that I’ve been there but New York A place where the customer service made me tip £100 - God I hope that’s not a thing A place where the memories were unforgettable - I know too many places for this A place where the nature made me want to live in the middle of nowhere - Scotlandddd A place where the people restored my faith in humanity - Scotlaaanddddd How to get to my favourite place - A seven hour ball-ache of a drive to..... SCOTTLAAAAANDDD Places I have never been to but want to see. Grand Canyon, Great Wall fo China, Great Barrier Reef, The Phillippines, Canada Somewhere I want to go before I die - Australia / America Somewhere I want to go before I turn 20 - ‘MURICAAA Somewhere I would rather be right now. - Wait for it.... SCOTLAAAAND What are the popular places in town? - In my town? The cinema, Costa? I dunno What is the worst place I’ve been to? Blackpool. Where is my favourite place to shop? Urban Outfitters Where was I born? George Eliot Hospital

Lists

A list of every single song on the albums released by my fav bands “fav” lmao I’m dying can I just list some good songs here thanks

Stolen Dance - Milky Chance Blue Jeans - Lana Del Rey Trees - twenty one pilots Stan - Eminem Human - Rag’n’Bone Man Nancy Mulligan - Ed Sheeran

I cant think of any more

Every tom and jerry’s ice cream flavour (I want to try).

Fuck my LIFE all of them

Places I would like to see.

Grand Canyon Niagra Falls Cute beaches Mountains

Sounds I like.

Piano Birds Water

Sounds I dislike.

My dad shouting up the stairs at me : ))

Sports I like.

Badminton Basketball

Star signs.

Gemini? Idk?? 

The first 5 things I saw on my way home.

I only left the house for my driving lesson today idk

The first 5 words that come to mind.

I don’t know what to write

The main roman gods.

Is this a test

The main Greek gods.

Zeus. The end.

Things I don’t own but like.

Self appreciation

Things I want to buy.

An iPhone 6S, I have an iPhone 5S and the home button’s broken

Top 10 episodes to watch

Skins S1 Ep’s 1-9, then carry on. Just go past 10 episodes and finish S2.

Top 10 favourite quotes.

“What, you egg!       [He stabs him]”

“Hamlet: O fuck.      [Exit Hamlet]”

I probably have some favourite serious quotes but I forgot them

Top 10 movies to watch.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 10 Cloverfield Lane Every single Harry Potter Girl, Interrupted Every single Star Wars

Techically that’s more than 10

Top 10 people I want to meet.

I’m not even sure, Emma Blackery? Bob Ross if he were here?

Top 10 places in Manchester.

None I want to visit.

Top 10 restaurants I love.

Rossini’s, Prezzo (though I actually recently heard bad reviews so I may retract that one), Zizzi’s, Windsor Tiffin

What is the sentence on line 13 of page 23 in the book nearest to me?

The book nearest me is a Piano book and I’m not going to write sheet music on here. The song on Pg. 23 is called Here, There and Everywhere though

What movies do I watch when I’m feeling down?

Kids movies - Toy Story, Finding Nemo etc

What tv shows do I always recommend?

Sk-Sk-Sk.. SKINS

What were my favourite tv shows as a child?

Doctor Who (I accidentally just typed Doctor Whom and I’m pissing myself holy shit), Tracey Beaker, 50/50, Raven, Trapped! Drake and Josh

What words don’t seem real to me?

Albertopolis, Bindlestiff

Wish list

That fucking iPhone 6S

Experiences/Memories

A memory in summer

Walks down to a nearby village to have picnics

A memory in winter

A drunkard Christmas party in which I threw up on myself 3 times, twice missing a plastic bag as it was folded over and the sick just kinda rolled onto me.

A memory with my family.

Going to France

A memory with my friends.

Wetherspoons Wednesday!!

I’ll never forget the day (a teacher) did this.

Made me write a half page essay about a poem as I did not answer 3 questions on it for homework. I completed this essay in about 2 minutes having read the poem, she looked shocked I’d done it so fact so I got up and left.

Memories from high school

“Are you emo?” “Are you goth?” “You were a lot of black” None of this I do anymore.

Special moments I want to witness.

One of my mates weddings, he’s engaged

The story behind my first kiss

The most awkward peck on a street corner as a goodbye, however it was good

The story behind my last kiss

It simply just happened, probably again as a goodbye for the night

The stories behind my scars

I have a scar on my chin, about an inch and a half in length due to a birthmark I had removed at the age of 8.

What are the memories I never want to forget?

Basically everything the year I met Nathan and everything this year for these have been some of the happiest years of my life.

What is my saddest memory?

I recently lost a guinea pig I’d owned for 4 years, I hadn’t had the time to give her attention in the latter months of her life so I never really said goodbye to her. I’ll regret it forever.

What is the first thing I remember?

Being pushed down the slide by some bitch called Charlotte at the age of about 2. I was really pissed and blamed her up until about 6 months ago when I realised I was in fact the asshole as I was climbing up the slide. I didn’t see the problem with climbing up it until recently lmao

What is the funniest thing I remember?

Um.. itS SEXUAL SO... I’ll save it for another time.

What was my most embarrassing moment?

I was on a school trip, they took all of our water bottles off us on arriving at the destination. I was parched as I never got my water bottle back like everyone else, and when I did I drank the entire thing and it went through me. On the way home from the school trip I had to stop the entire double decker coach because I was about to piss myself.

What was the happiest day of my life?

Idk meeting Nathan for the first time and going on a three hour walk around my small village

What was the last concert I went to?

Busted, last May

What was the most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed?

Breathtaking views from Scottish Mountains?

What was the most disappointing thing in my life?

I’d been wanting a Nintendo DS lite for a good year, every time the adverts came on I’d scream about how I wanted the pink one. Did I get one? No. My younger sister, aged 4 at the time got one. 

What was the most nervous I’ve ever been?

Holy shit there are so many examples, having teeth out etc..  Most recent though was a piano exam I was 100% prepared for, in the exam my hands were shaking so much I couldn’t play.

What was the saddest day of my life?

Finding out my boyfriend had done something which apparently I later found out he didn’t do, at the time I was distraught however.

When was I last scared for my life?

I don’t think I legitimately ever have been

Letters

A note to my favourite teachers. You were great.

Dear Nathan, I would like to tell you. That you’re awesome and you should love me forever lmao

Dear 5-year-old me. MAKE FRIENDS YOU FUCK

Dear 10-year-old me. GET PIANO LESSONS NOW YOU FUCK

Dear 13-year-old me. STOP BEING EMO YOU FUCK

Dear 15-year-old me. WELL DONE, YOU’RE IMPROVING BUT SORT UR HAIR OUT

Dear 16-year-old me. Ur gonna be fine, look at u now, cheer up man

Dear 18-year-old me. Get drunk, go on, ur 2 months ahead of me

Dear 21-year-old me. IF YOU DIDNT GRADUATE FROM UNI I WILL CRY

Dear 25-year-old me. I hope you have a house and your engaged or something decent, please have a job

Dear all the boys I’ve liked. Lmao why did I like you 

Dear someone I need to forgive. You’re forgiven, whoever you are?

Letters to my future children. fuck off you sperm cells

Questions to answer

A wise person learns from the mistakes of others – do I agree? No, a person becomes wise from learning from their own mistakes. 

Advice to any if the new kids at sf. At the what?

Am I a bad loser? It depends what it is :(((

Am I a good liar? If I want to be

Am I a writer? Hell I wish

Am I an artist? I mean sort of

Am I good at giving advice? Hell I wish

Am I happy with myself? Good joke 

Am I happy with the person I’ve become? Well from what I was, yes

Am I the kind of friend I would like to have as a friend? Ew no

Books I always reread. Uh..

Can insanity bring on more creativity? I think so, sadness does

Do I admit when I’m wrong? Rarely

Do I believe that people are capable of change? Sometimes, but remember I said I hold grudges so I’d probably not trust you for years

Do I belong here? Belong where? I’m in bed so fuck yea

Do I hold grudges? WHAT WERE WE JUST TALKING ABOUT

Do I have trust issues? Yup..

Do I like confrontation? I can confront people, but I don’t like being confronted

Do I live or do I just exist? Existing, waiting to live.

Do I prefer to be on camera or behind it? Behind, but if I totally had the confidence I’d wanna be in there

Do I really want a cat? Cats are cool

Do I trust easily? What the fuck this is the same question, no I do not

Have I ever been bullied? Sorta?

Have I ever been on a date? I don’t even know lol

Have I ever felt like I wasn’t enough? All the time

Have I ever felt rejected by my friends/family? All the time

Have I ever had a friend turn into an enemy? Idk some former friends hate me, and I hate some former friends. No enemies, no arguments though.

Have I ever had a paranormal experience? Used to see someone walk around my dads house and hear banging in the loft - both stopped around the same time however so they’re probably related.

Have I ever had a public perception of me change from good to bad? Idk, Idk what “the public” think of me

Have I ever had a song or poem written about me? No but how cute would that be

Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? WHAT WAS I SAYING ABOUT PIANO.

Have I learnt from my mistakes? Yes but I never follow through cause I’m useless

How am I feeling? Useless man I should be doing college work

How do I find comfort when I’m sad? Tea and biscuits.

How do I vent my anger? Arguing, shouting.. it’s bad.

How do I want to be remembered? As a decent person

How could I avoid getting hurt? Pretend you’re not. Be sarcastic n fuckin take it like a truck.

How does a (any appliance around the home) work? Well you see, with a vacuum right, you plug it in and you turn it on. Then it sucks away the dirty shit on your floor. Why is this a question.

How I think will determine how I live – agree or not? Yeah, your thoughts impact your decisions, your decisions impact what happens around you.

How would I define my sense of humour? Sometimes dark, sometimes punny, memes, shit.

What am I like when I’m angry? Argumentative, aggressive, talk back

What am I most afraid of? Being forgotten, left behind

What are some things that stand between me and complete happiness? Self-confidence, nerves

What did I like about being a kid? Not giving a fuck

What did I want to be when I was younger? Fashion designer, teacher, hair dresser, doctor, F1 driver, artist.. you name it.

What do I admire most in others? Kindness, generosity, respectfulness

What do I hate about sf? WHAT THE FUCK IS SF

What do I hate most about myself? My huge ass nose, teeth, nerves, personality

What do I love most about myself? The fact my eyes are blue ? 

What do I notice first when I see someone? Eyes

What do I think about selfies? Sometimes I take good ones

What do I think about the most? Tea

What do I think could be improved in the educational system? Pretty much all of it, the way personal and social skills is taught specifically.

What do I think people think of me? Annoying

What do I touch first when I stick my arms out? My dog

What do I wish I didn’t miss? Um?

What do I wish for every night? To be more productive, a cup of tea

What does a rainbow mean to me? Usually that it’s been raining, I’m pretty black and white.

What fictional character do I wish was real? None really?

What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? Harry Potter or something, maybe X men. Have a wand or some special ability, it’d be cool.

What is an experience that has made me stronger? Getting a job which requires speaking to people

What is an item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? My half 50p necklace

What is my biggest dream and how do I plan on making it become a reality? Going travelling.. I have no idea how.

What is my biggest what if? What if I’d never met Nathan. Would I be a not talkative emo fuck

What is my greatest achievement? Designing the logo for my local carnival? Designing a company brochure (in the making)

What is my greatest failure? Hopefully not my driving test next week.

What is my secret weapon to get someone to like me? Uh. My killer dank memes.

What is one aspect of myself that I feel confident about? My makeup. 

What is one thing I am interested in learning more about? North Korea

What is something that makes me feel vulnerable? My nerves and easy ability to be angry or upset by something

What is the best gift I’ve ever received? My half 50p necklace

What is the first thing I think of when I hear the word ‘heart’? FUcking hell.. the heart emoji. I want to die for that answer, but if I didn’t put it I’d be lying

What is the hardest lesson I have had to learn in life? What I do when I’m learning something, it won’t be perfect first time.

What is the ideal age to be and why? 18 forever, old enough to be responsible for yourself, young enough to go places and have fun.

What is the most scandalous situation I’ve ever been involved in? I broke into an abandoned house?

What is the nicest thing about a person? Their kindness

What is the single best decision I’ve made in my life so far? Switching to Graphic Design course over Art and Design cause the people on Art and Design were shit and I wasn’t happy.

What is the single worst decision I’ve made in my life so far? Being emo aged 12-15

What makes a great relationship? A good balance of friendship, love and lust.

What makes me smile? A good joke, hanging with friends What motivates me to succeed? University, the idea of success

What part of my life would I relive if I could? Most of my childhood?

What part of my life would I remove if I could? The old person part, I don’t wanna be frail, ill and dying unable to do anything and it’s just a waiting game to death.

What question am I afraid to tell the truth to? None really?

What questions would I ask to get to know someone better? What stuff they’re into?

What was I doing at 12am last night? Talking to friends

What was I like as a child and how did my personality change as I got older? More understanding, loving, friendly now

What was my favourite subject in school? Art What was the last lie I told? I can’t remember, who knows, I could’ve been lied to and I don’t know

What was the most ridiculous thing that made me cry? My piano exam, having my teeth out, several films, nothing

What will I do in university? GRAPHIC DESIGN BOI I’M EXCITED

What would I change about my sf? My what the fuck

What would I change about my life if you knew I would never die? Uh.. I don’t wanna not ever die it’d be lonely.

What would I change about the world? Be rid of the old arseholes in Government, disrespectful people, terrorists

What would I like to change this year? BE MORE PRODUCTIVE (ironic I’ve been doing this for over an hour)

What would I do differently if you knew that no one was judging me? Everything.

What would I do in the event of an apocalypse? Probably plan a living strategy

What would I have to see to cry tears of joy? Dogs.

What would I want written on my tombstone? Idk probably something funny like “Active 23 mins ago” or some quote I like

When did I experience stage fright or nervousness in front of a crowd? FUCKING. PIANO. EXAM.

When do I feel most at peace? In bed.

When did I last send a handwritten letter to someone? My french pen friend, year 8

When did I not speak up, when I know I really should have? Several times.

When did I witness something controversial and had to keep it a secret? I don’t think so

When was the last time I cried? Wednesdy, over my FUCKING PIANO EXAM

Where do I see myself in 10 years’ time? uh, in my own house I hope

Where do I want to live? Still not figured this one out

Where is the best place to get pizza? Rossini’s omg

Where would I go if I got a plane ticket to anywhere? ‘MURICAAA

Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? Brains

Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? Used to just be girls but now both really

Who do I miss the most? No one?

Who do I need the most? Nobody cause IM A FREE WOMAN

Why couldn’t I get out of bed this morning? Because it’s me and I’m lazy.

Why couldn’t I sleep last night? Because it’s me and I’m shit.

Why do I hate insects? Because it’s me and I hate them.

Why do dogs hate me and I hate them? Wait what no

Will you lend me a hand – how do I think this idiom got started? Because I can’t carry something or I’m confused

Would I ever spread gossip? I hope not

Would people consider me a diva? I hope not? I don;t think I am?

[mysticdaddies]

Saeyoung Wedding Dance: One Shot

Hello everyone c: since the munchkin war has ended not so long ago, I decided to get started on the Wedding Dace One shots :,) In case you missed the others here they are, Saeran Choi, Jumin Han, Jihyun Kim/V , :) In my personal opinion, this is the most emotional wedding dace one shot I have ever written...  I cried so hard writing this one shit...some of the emotions come from within me... I hope you guys can feel the emotion :) Thank you - Savior Saeran 

Why cant I fake my smile around you? Why did you have to be my biggest weakness. I am suppose to be the strong one but when it comes to you, Im always weak. What have you done to me? 

I breathed in and out watching how my body slowly releases the stress that it has been carrying. However, that moment of release only last a few seconds and then the stress comes back again. I looked at the mirror and saw myself. If people saw my reflection, they would see a clown who is always happy with life no matter what. Sadly, that’s not even the truth at all. When I look at my reflection, I don't even realize who that person is. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard my best man knocking at the bathroom door. I opened the door and saw my brother/best man, Saeran Choi, and I give him a big old welcome smile. He didn't even look at me while he walked in and closed the door “How are you feeling?” he asked with sincerity. I gave him a quick glance and walked towards the sink to take a better look into the mirror “The real question is ‘how are you feeling brother’, you look like an adorable penguin!” I managed to say with a chuckle. I noticed his stern face expression because of the mirror and I noticed him walking towards me. He put his hand in his pocket and took out a long black box and opened it. I was shocked seeing chain with a cross in the box.  He looked into my stunned eyes and took out the chain from the box and showed it to me “I know that I caused a lot of trouble for you and (y/n) and I may not say it often, but I appreciate the both of you so much. You two are my family and I uh love you um b-brother” he said softly. He then proceeded to put the chain on me “Now while I fix this, why don't you tell me how you are really feeling?” he looked up with a smile on his face. There are only two people who can knows the real me: my brother who has a special place in my heart, and the love of my life, (f/n) (l/n), who has the power over my body and soul. I looked at him while my act slowly breaks apart infant of him and he pulled me into a hug and I hold on tightly crying, mumbling my fears and joys. He held me tighter and I cried harder. 

TIME SKIP: WEDDING DANCE

The exact moment when I heard the double doors open and the church/space station was playing the wedding song, I saw the birth of a beautiful angel. An angel god sent me and my family, to help us continue on with life. Many hours passed and we made it to our reception. Thankfully god made (y/n) perfectly for me because she didnt get upset when I mentioned months back that the wedding dance song will be a surprised. I know she may be thinking we are going to do something silly but she will be wrong. I need her to know how much I love and appreciate her. I guided her to the middle of the dance floor and signaled for the lights to dim down a bit. I looked at Saeran so he can signal the DJ to start the song for our first dance: Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion

For all those times you stood by me, For all the truth that you made me see, For all the joy you brought to my life, For all the wrong that you made right, For every dream you made come true, For all the love I found in you, I'll be forever thankful baby, You're the one who held me up, Never let me fall, You're the one who saw me through through it all

She looked so beautiful that I wondered what exactly did I do to deserve to be her true ending. She could of had anyone but she choosed me out of billion of people out there. (Y/N) decided to spend the rest of eternity together with me and I am truly blessed. I gave her a twirl while we were dancing and when she came back to me I leaned in closer so she can hear my words “Can I show my true feelings for you” I asked softly. You looked at me with your beautiful eyes and tip toed to my ear “Of course my amazing husband” you said sweetly. Ugh. Your voice makes my heart melt. I brought you closer to me and gave a heavy sigh “ Im honestly really scared to tell you but I need you to know this because you are stuck with me till we get grey and old. When I had to search you information before you can officially become an RFA member, what caught my attention was your facial expressions. It had so much sincerity that it astonished  me that someone can be so pure. After having the honor of meeting you, I pushed you away because I wasn't worthy of your love. I was suppose to be miserable because I don't deserve happiness. You slowly became my happiness and I resented you for it because I didn't want to taint you with my darkness. I would never of imagined in a million of years, that my God sent me you to prevent myself from being consumed in darkness.” The memories of our journey was hitting me like a ton of bricks. I brought her closer to me just imagining if my greatest fear did come true. What happened if I actually love my brother and my love? The thought of that made me crack up the chain I had around my heart that only I could ever open. 

You were my strength when I was weak, You were my voice when I couldn't speak, You were my eyes when I couldn't see, You saw the best there was in me, Lifted me up when I couldn't reach, You gave me faith 'coz you believed I'm everything I am, Because you loved me

I was scared to show her how I truly felt because what happened if she realizes that I'm only alive because of her? I decided to ignore my negatives thoughts and lightly gave a quick dip and then brought you back to me. I caressed your beautiful skin that somehow belong to me now “Thank you (y/n) for accepting all of me. You were the only one in the RFA to laugh at my jokes and never once, never fucking one you called me weird or made fun of. You actually understood me and that scared me. It scared me because you saw through the many mask I had and I knew I didn't deserve you. I was too broken for you or for anyone else to fix. Somehow you saw past Agent 707 and Luciel and noticed how fucked up Saeyoung Choi really is. You didn't care how much I hated myself because you were always there. You were there when I cried myself to sleep, when I tried to take my life away, when I tried to push everyone away.... you were always there. Why did you pick me? Why did you decide to make me your final route? There is a saying that whoever you made your final route is the one that you were always destined to be with. Thank you for allowing me, no I'm sorry, for giving me the honor to be your soulmate. If it wasn't for your love (y/n) I wouldn't have learned to love myself. I wouldn't  even have my brother back in my life. If it wasn't for your help, we would be distance but you helped us became a family again. Damn (y/n), I owe my life to you and I'm not afraid to admit it. Thank you for making me feel human.”

You gave me wings and made me fly, You touched my hand I could touch the sky, I lost my faith, you gave it back to me, You said no star was out of reach You stood by me and I stood tall, I had your love I had it all, I'm grateful for  each, day you gave me, Maybe I don't know that much, But I know this much is true, I was blessed because I was loved by you

Just feeling your arms intertwined behind my back felt like a dream. Did I really deserve this? If this was a dream, I'm going to cherish this moment forever because if I wake up and you weren't next to me, I would at least have you in my dreams. Call me selfish but I'm glad you chose me in the end. I will forever thank the man above for allowing me to be your true ending.  Looking at your face lend against my chest while we move around in circles sends chills throughout my body. Knowing for a fact this is reality brings tears to my eyes and its finally time I told you how much I truly worship you.

You were always there for me, The tender wind that carried me, A light in the dark shining your love into my life, You've been my inspiration, Through the lies you were the truth, My world is a better place because of you

I grabbed your hands from behind my back and brought them to lips. I kissed it ever so gently and looking into your beautiful eyes killed me. I am alive because of your beating heart. I am happy because of you gave me a reason to be happy about something. Just waking up next to you, whether you are snoring or not makes me happy. When we have petty arguments it made me happy because it just meant that we were going to come out of it stronger. Emotions started to flow throughout my body because the chain around my heart finally broke. I fell to my knees and started to sob while my hands clenched around yours “You were always there for me, when I thought all hope was lost, I looked for your hand to hold to reassure me that everything was going to be okay. You are my strength (y/n) choi and every ounce of cell that created me belongs to you. You own me because you prevented me from giving up hope on love and life.” Tears and love were flowing out of my body because I was finally giving my all to you. I hold your hand even tighter because I'm not finished yet “The tender wind that carried me, when I was down you helped me get back up. You were there defending me from the world because you knew how badly the world hurt me. You looked past my faults, and accepted me for who I am!! You are my shield and I promise you that I will catch every star and hand it to you. You deserve every thing in the world and I promise that I will fight for you and make sure you are happy, because your happiness fuels me into becoming a better person (y/n). A light in the dark shining your love into my life, when you tried to love me I tried to stop you because how can you love someone who died many years back? You didnt care because you knew there was still life in my trying to fight the darkness and I couldn't do it alone. You extended your hand to me my love and I thank you for not letting me die. You've been my inspiration, through the lies you were the truth, you were the one (y/n) to show me the truth of it all. When I found out the truth about Rika and Jihyun, you were there to keep me steady. You were also there to show me that its okay to be sad. That its okay to feel worthless because they are all reasonable emotions but you also showed me that I cant be in that state forever. You helped me become a better Saeyoung and I will forever worship the ground you walk on. I look forward to the day I can tell our children our love story. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you (y/n). My world is a better place because of you, and when I take my last breath looking into your eyes our story will rewind quickly in my head before I close my eyes for the last time. Just know this (y/n), when the time does come for me to leave this earth, just know my soul and heart will forever stay with you. Just know I will be protecting you and my brother even when I'm not there. Just know, I will be waiting for you my love so we can spend paradise together”. 

I'm everything I am Because you loved me

You helped me back up and embraced me into a hug. I hold you tightly wanting our body and souls to become one. I notice that you pulled away ever so slightly giving room for your hand to signal someone to come over. I tried looking but the tears in my eyes were giving my vision a hard time. I then felt a delicate hand wiping my tears away and I was able to see my brother having tears in his eyes. I cleaned his tears away just like when we were little kids. I then grabbed (y/n) and Saeran closer to me into a big hug “Thank you for everything. I will am forever thankful for the both of you. (Y/N) I love you and thank you for making us a family again” I felt the arms of my brother and my wife wrap around me and I knew from this moment I had two rocks in my life. I would die for this two people. They are my biggest weakness and I will forever show them how much I love them till my last breath. 

Thank You. 

Thank you (y/n). 

I’m everything I am, because you love me (y/n)

I love you my angel. 

[rodrigohyde]

Henry Cavill talks 'Justice League,' dating, and how he's achieved zen-like comfort in his hardcore training

Ben Watts

Editor's Note: This feature originally appeared in the September 2016 issue of Men's Fitness.

Though Henry Cavill has found worldly fame through a character who is, very literally, out of this world—of course, he’s best known as the last son of Krypton in director Zack Snyder’s 2013 franchise reboot, Man of Steel, and its follow-up, this year’s megahit Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice—he works pretty damn hard to keep his real-life self firmly grounded here on Earth. In fact, the 33-year-old English superstar has shunned the trappings of a full-time Hollywood lifestyle for a quieter, more friends-and-family-centric life in London. “If I ever become an egomaniac, then I’ve messed it up," he says.

Here, Cavill shares more about keeping his head screwed on straight while supersizing his muscles, how he’d prefer roles more in the vein of Bond than Bale, and why no one should ever dare to push around his pooch. Of course, there’s also one particularly buzzy thing he simply can’t talk about. So we’ll get to that first. [Speaking of: major spoiler alert.]

[RELATED1]

Your character gets killed off at the end of Batman v Superman, but you’re making Justice League now, so clearly Superman comes back to life. How does he do it?

I’m afraid I can’t talk about it. In fact, I’m sure there’s someone [from the studio] waiting just outside my house in case they overhear me say something. Then I’ll be shuffled off involuntarily.

You’re the first British Superman. What’s it like playing this iconic American character?

Well, Superman, in my belief, is for everyone. I mean, he’s American, but he’s not necessarily just for Americans. I think people everywhere know who Superman is, and they can relate to Superman. I think the feeling I have for Superman would be the same as the American version of me would have for Superman. My playing the character, as a Brit, doesn’t make a difference because when it comes to the whole acting thing, ultimately, it’s an alien who flies around and stuff. It’s an acting job.

Did you grow up in a DC universe or a Marvel one?

I didn’t grow up in either in particular. When I was a young lad I was into Superman, I was into Iron Man, I was into the X-Men. I didn’t really know there was a difference. To be honest—I’m really not too sure if there is now. I think they’re all damn cool. Since I got the role of Superman, I’ve been more into the character and delving into the DC universe. I’m loving what DC is doing. I think it’s just fun, and it’s everything it should be in a comic book. It’s inspirational, it’s joyful, it’s got heart. It’s the kind of thing kids read and want to grow up trying to emulate, and that’s what it should be.

[RELATED2]

So what’s Henry Cavill’s personal Kryptonite?

The people I love. I think if someone went after them, then that would change every single core characteristic of mine. I wouldn’t become weak, but I don’t think I’d be very good, if you know what I mean. If I were to be walking my dog, for example, and someone were to kick my dog, I honestly don’t know what I would do. I think I’d probably get myself into a big amount of trouble.

What kind of dog do you have?

I have an Akita named Kal. I picked up Kal for the first time during preproduction for Batman v Superman. I got him in Arkansas, which I was sure was pronounced “Ar-Kansas” before I got there. I said it in front of lots and lots of people, but no one corrected me until I actually got to Arkansas, and they said, “Oh yeah, it’s ‘Arkansaw,’ not ‘Ar-Kansas.’” I thought, “Thanks, everyone else who’s heard me say that.”

Are your regular “off-season” workouts significantly different from the ones you do when you have to bulk up and look like the Man of Steel?

During an off-season period, I’ll be at a level of having gotten fit, so I’ll be going to the gym I train at here in London. It’s just about working, pushing hard, but not to the point where I’m getting up the next day and being really sore.

[RELATED3]

You’re looking pretty big these days. Do you really keep it to such a moderate intensity?

Once you get to the level of being fit, there are days when you go, “You know what? Today I just want to dig a very deep hole and jump into it.” Then sometimes your energy is really high and you think, “I’m going to hurt myself today. Let’s see if I still bleed.” And you will bleed! Then you’ll wake up the next day and go, “Oh, holy moly—but it was fun.” It’s just going there, breathing, getting some endorphins flowing. Maybe you want to work on some muscle groups. Maybe you want to get leaner. And so you can set little tasks for yourself. It’s very, very important as well to have someone who genuinely knows what they’re talking about, who can advise you on diet and what you’re doing with it, as far as training is concerned. These are all important things. These are things that I don’t know. Thankfully, I have my trainer here in London, Michael Blevins. If I say, “You know what? I want to have bigger hamstrings. They’re nice and strong, but I want them to be bigger. What do I do?” He goes, “OK, cool. Well, do this, this, and this. Up your calories...”

You’re pretty forthcoming about your workouts, often posting online clips of yourself training. Is that an important conversation to have with your fans?

A lot of working out today is, “Let’s make it an easy fix.” Do this, and do that, and you’ve got 60-second abs. My own personal approach to training is, I’m learning year after year after year and applying it and finding what fits and suits me best for my lifestyle. It’s been a long process. There’s no quick fix. I was very fit, then I was not very fit, then I was very fit again, then I was not very fit. Now that I’m fit again, I think I’ve found a comfortable balance, which is enjoyable because we all like to go out for drinks and have pizza and have dinners and all the nice things in life, and not being a complete gym psycho. But I stay fit enough to feel comfortable with taking my shirt off at the beach, because someone’s going to take a photo, and then it won’t all of a sudden be, “Hey look, fat Superman!” in the Daily Mail or something like that. It’ll just be, “Hey, look, Henry Cavill at the beach,” and I won’t be ashamed to see that photo. So through my Instagram and my social media, I’m trying to sort of send the message out there that it’s a process. As much as I can, I like to get it out there that you don’t have to endure a psychotic, agonizing workout. You don’t have to leave it all on the floor every time. Hopefully through my social media I can help educate people.

11 intense movie star workouts you can totally steal >>>

Could you see taking roles down the line that require sort of the opposite transformation, like Christian Bale in The Machinist, for which you’d have to drop 60lbs?

Unless the script was very good, I would say no. If it were something I really cared about and I really wanted to have, like, an effect on an audience because it’s subject matter that’s very, very important to me, and I wanted to get it out there, then yeah, I could see myself doing it. Otherwise, no. I’m not going to be like, “Hey, I’m going to do a big fat-man role or a really skinny role because that’s what all the big actors do these days!” I’m not going to choose work to make people go, “Oh, wow, he can really act because he can lose lots of weight.”

[RELATED4]

Is there another career you could’ve envisioned pursuing had things worked out differently?

Thankfully, at this stage I’ve got my foot in the door enough that if someone tried to slam it shut, I could probably squeeze through a little bit and keep the door open. As far as a full backup plan, it was the British Armed Forces. But being 33 years old, I think I’m too old to join now.

Speaking of the armed forces: James Bond is a character you’ve spoken to us about before. Are you still interested in playing him one day?

Absolutely. It’d be awesome to play Bond, a classic Bond, really. I wouldn’t play the same kind of Bond as Daniel Craig because that’s an amazing Bond, and I don’t think I’d be the person to outdo Daniel Craig at doing Daniel Craig’s Bond. I would love to do a different version and just have enormous amounts of fun with it. The great thing about Bond is that every different actor can play him so differently.

I’ve noticed the bookmakers in London keep adjusting the odds on who has the best shot right now to become the new Bond. Tom Hiddleston seems to be among the top choices. Do you think that’s because he’s already cast his own real-life Bond Girl in Taylor Swift?

Oh, I know nothing about that. The greatest thing about this entertainment industry is that whether there’s a movie out or not, people can find some entertainment from it.

[RELATED5]

I think a lot of people see you as sort of a real-life James Bond, a suave, charming lady-killer who always gets the girl. Do you have any dating and love advice that you think young men should keep in mind—things that you try to do in your own life?

That’s a tough one, giving advice to anyone. I’ve always been very careful at giving advice because I think the best advice in the world is “Don’t give advice unless it’s asked for”. But if, say, for example, a hypothetical reader were hypothetically asking for advice, then I would say: Stop looking to get laid, and look more for someone who can make you the better version of you in a good, happy way. That’s going to make you happier, more than just getting laid will.

And where are you on that journey?

Well, I keep those kinds of things to myself for now.

Celebrities

from Men's Fitness https://www.mensfitness.com/life/entertainment/henry-cavill-mens-fitness-feature-justice-league-dating-superman-007

[theochelpsquad]

Katherine Jenkins (Attack on Titan OC)

Quotes: “If you’re just standing there doing nothing to help, I swear, Rachel, I’m going to kick someone’s ass, and you know damn well who.”

“I do not care WHAT you were going to say, but I’ll take your piece of cake and make it hostage, for you do not do anything stupid.”

“Why do you care? Go do something useful and don’t think about my safety. Yours is more important.”

H: This is also a really long review, so under the cut! I’ll be the only mod reviewing this one.

General Characteristics-

Name: Katherine Apprill Jenkins

Nickname(s): Kate (mostly used by Rachel), Jenkins (most of the higher-ups), Susan Jenkins (Levi when needs her attention), Catty (when being teased)

H: The nicknames are really creative, but why does Levi call her Susan? Did she tell him who she was? How did it affect their relationship?

Affiliation: Survey Corps, Special Operations Squad

Former Affiliation: 104th Training Corps

H: WOOO, 104th! My favorite thing about the AoT series is that OCs can be in the 104th Corps. Unfortunately, that means she can’t be in the top 10. :(

Theme Song:

(childhood) www.youtube.com/watch?v=iH5WzkE8_Hk&list=PLD511BA65BC4B66AF&index=7

(to her (future) significant other) www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4svwoQad6k&list=PLD511BA65BC4B66AF&index=5

(actual) www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KHEv5HMsWc

Zodiac: Aquarius

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Physical Characteristics-

Accessories: None

Knowledge: 9/10

Conceptualization Power: 5/10

Motivation: 9/10

Will to Act: 10/10

Agility: 5/10

3D Maneuvering Gear: 8/10

H: Low agility and high 3DMG stats sounds like an interesting combination! Does it cause some trouble?

Swordsmanship: 7/10

Hand-to-Hand Combat:: 3/10

Long Range Accuracy: 4/10

H: It’s really rare to see an AoT OC with low battle stats and agility. I like where you’re going with her!

Strategy: 9/10

H: Earlier, you gave her low conceptualization power but high strategy. How does her mind work? I’m not saying you should change the scores--in fact, it might be more interesting to explain how she comes up with battle plans when she can’t conceptualize.

Teamwork: 6/10

Offense: 7/10

Defense: 5/10

Social Skills: 4/10

Dress Style/Wardrobe: Survey Corps jacket, White long-sleeved shirt, white pants, dark brown sash around the waist, dark brown knee-high boots, green cloak

Eye Color: Green

Equipment: 3DMG complete with snap-off blades

Gender: Female

Hair Color: Redhead

Height: 5'7" (170 cm)

Most Valuable Possession: A gold bracelet with “Susan Jenkins” written on it, which Katherine has since birth

H: I really like this tidbit! Who was Susan and where did she get the bracelet?

Nationality: British with both American parents

H: I made a post about AoT OCs a while ago, where I talked about character nationality. In the series, America is never mentioned, and most characters come from Europe. I would personally recommend that you change her parents’ nationalities, but seeing as the location of the AoTverse hasn’t been confirmed, you don’t have to.

Scars: One on her left knee, and a few on her back and shoulders

H: To add complexity to her background, explain where she got these. Maybe a fight, or an injury as a child?

Weight: 127 lbs (58 kg)

H: She seems pretty thin, but it could be because of malnutrition. Then again, Wall Sina (Sina? Sheena?) is mostly rich. Did her parents use up all of their money to move inside Wall Sina and ended up poor? Were they rich but she lost weight after running away?

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Personal Characteristics-

Birth Date: August 23

Birth Place: Yarckel District, Wall Sina (or Sheena, whatever)

First Word(s): “Papa’s song”

H: This is really sweet!

Parents: Ronald and Emma Jenkins

Siblings: Katherine Apprill Jenkins (stillborn)

H: Having a stillborn sibling can be hard, especially when you share a name. Did this affect her relationship with her parents and herself?

Death Date: N/A

Age at Death: N/A

Death Place: N/A

Resting Place: N/A

Last Word(s): She has already thought about them and has them ready

H: It seems like a small addition, but this says a lot about her character. I like it!

Primary Objective: Rachel says is for avenge the death of all the victims of Shiganshina, but Katherine never said that it was all the truth. So everyone else just assume that it’s somehow related to her family or friends, and she doesn’t want to talk about why she’s there or what are her main goals

H: Does she have a reason for not telling or is she just awkward?

Secondary Objective(s): Keep Rachel safe and protect the humanity

Priorities: Herself, Rachel, her friends and her family

Motivation: Rachel and herself. If it were not for the hope of living a happy life with her best friend after destroying all the titans, she would have gone insane and would throw herself into the mouth of a titan at the first opportunity.

H: I can tell that Rachel is a really important person to her. Does she feel guilty when Rachel is injured, even when it’s not her fault?

Accomplishments:

Solo Titan Kills: 9

Team Titan Kills: 25

Greatest Achievement: Helping humanity take back Wall Maria and Shiganshina District

Failures: Letting Jean irritate enough to fight physically with him, became too afraid of telling her parents about entering the Survey Corps and running away because of it

Biggest Failure: Feeling overconfident on her first battle and almost being killed as consequence

Self-Confidence: Kate has trouble trusting herself. Sometimes she is overconfident and thinks that she can defeat anyone (and ends up being defeated), at other times she trusts herself in a healthy measure, and at other times she simply thinks she can not do anything useful. Rachel is always there to make her go back to the healthy measure of self-confidence

Traumas: Hearing her parents discussing about her dead twin for the first time when she was really young

Embarrassment: Being scolded by Levi because of her fight with Jean (being scolded by her own crush, I would be embarrassed too)

H: Yikes… so would I.

Worries: She worries too much about Rachel, Wallace and Oliver, even if they’re actually good on protecting themselves she just can not think the worst will not happen.

H: Do they get annoyed at her overprotectiveness or do they understand?

Earliest Memory: Hearing her father singing for her when she was three years old

Fondest Memory: When she showed Rachel all her grandfather’s paintings of the outside world

Worst Memory: Seeing her comrades dying right in front of her, she was trying to help fighting against the Female Titan and after had to race back to the walls

Favorite Dream: Rachel and her living a happy life, free of titans and walls, with her other best friends together, every comrade alive and well with them

Worst Nightmare: Everyone is dead. Katherine is shaking as she was when she was held by a titan in her first battle. Female Titan, Armored Titan, Colossal Titan, Beast Titan, all of them are just ahead of her eating her best friends and she can not do anything to stop it.

H: Her nightmare has to do with being powerless; you could tie in her fear of losing control with anxiety and her overprotective nature.

Desires: to be free from these walls, this king and these titans along with all the people she cares about

Wishes: That her mother and father could see how much she changed and got better. Of course, to her it is a silly wish, but is what she wanted

Secrets: Her crush on Levi Ackerman (she think it is, but is pretty obvious)

Confidantes: Rachel and William

Soft Spots: The “cute dog face that fell from the change truck” thing and being called Susan.

Quirks: Is annoyed by people prone to fidgeting with things, is fascinated with bees, always have to scream once in the day “BRIOCHE” and/or “SAUERKRAUT” on Oliver’s ears because he get so mad (and is funny)

Dominant Hand: Ambidextrous

Catchphrase: “I’m not going to listen your stupidity.”

H: RUDE.

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Mental Characteristics-

Attitude: Most of the time Katherine shows little to no emotions, but when she’s with her “squad” (three childhood friends, Rachel, Wallace and Oliver) she becomes more sociable. Short-tempered when it comes to idiotic things. No matter what, she will try to protect her close friends if they’re in danger but Kate gets embarrassed when she’s the one being saved. Kate is emotional and sensible inside, but acts stone cold when she thinks emotions will interfere (almost all the time). She’s gentle and polite normally, but get angry easily and then she become violent and rude to her anger’s target.

H: These are really well written and realistic characters, well done!

Bad Habits: Following people if is bored, talking alone, breaking the rules if she think she needs

Good Habits: Help her comrades on trainings, discuss all her strategies with the others

Known Languages: English, French and a little about German

H: Where did she learn these? Was it taught to her by her parents or did she teach herself?

Pet Peeves: Idiotic comments, people who are drumming their fingers in things

Phobias: Ankylophobia (Fear of immobility of a joint)

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Spiritual Characteristics-

Animal: Owl

Superstitions: Every Friday 13th is a dangerous day and bad events can happen to people

Vices: Crankiness, doubt, secrecy, melancholic, moodiness

H: These are really well-rounded flaws!

Virtues: Awareness, cooperativeness, hopefulness, independence, punctiliousness

Signature Move: She doesn’t have one

Specialty: Planning and helping with strategies

Strengths: Protecting her friends, trusting her comrades and her will to survive

Weaknesses: Overconfidence (or lack of confidence at times)

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Residential Characteristics-

Citizenship: Wall Sina (or Sheena, whatever again)

Hometown: Yarckel District

Sleep Patterns: Katherine usually sleeps 3 hours and take naps during daytime

Traditions: Scream “BRIOCHE” and/or “SAUERKRAUT” on Oliver’s ears once in the day, before a mission Katherine takes out her bracelet and think about the “other Katherine”, then put it back

H: Is Susan Jenkins another name for her twin?

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Interpersonal Connections-

Friends: Oliver (OC), Wallace (OC), Rachel (OC), Sasha, Connie, Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Hanji, Levi (…or she does think he is), William (my friend’s OC)

Immediate Family: Ronald Jenkins (Father), Emma Jenkins (Mother), Katherine Jenkins (Twin sister, stillborn)

Inspirations: Levi, Armin Arlet, Eren Yeager (Jaeger, whatever)

Rivals: Jean Kirschtein

First Love: Oliver Schmit

Love Interest(s): Levi Ackerman and William Knox

H: This is a good place to expand on her relationships! Do William and Levi know she likes  them, and do they care? Are they jealous of each other?

Significant Other: None - she’s single

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Highs and Lows-

Likes: Reading mystery/thriller books, opening up to who she trust wholeheartedly, calm and silent places, home

Dislikes: Being angry, fighting against humans, fake smiles and fake people, being alone, misunderstandings

Favorite Animal: Cat

Favorite Color: Green

Favorite Drink: Coffee

Favorite Excuse: Unless she was doing something she’s comfortable, she will tell the truth. If it’s a secret or uncomfortable thing, “I was occupied enough”

Favorite Food: Apple pie

Favorite Number: 57

Favorite Pastime: Reading

Favorite People: The trio (Oliver, Wallace and Rachel), her two love interests

Favorite Place: Her room, as she made him look quite like his room at home

Favorite Quote From Another Character: I don’t like the terms “good person” or “bad person” because it is impossible to be entirely good to everyone - Armin Arlert

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Social Characteristics-

Communication: Katherine speaks politely and carefully so people understand exactly what she means, except when she relies on the person enough to speak in a more informal and less cautious way. When she gets angry she simply talks everything she feels or thinks about the person, rudely and maliciously, to hurt that person

Criminal Record: She doesn’t have a criminal record

Discrimination: Even if she don’t want to, Kate look down at the Military Police and the ones that run away for fear, especially the last one, because even if she is scared she fights (and, secretly, she remembers when she runned away from home and feel regret of being like those people).

Dominance: Following is always the best for her. She listen to her higher-ups well, but if Katherine feels that they are wrong, Kate knows that she needs to lead the ones that feel the same way that her.

Emotional Stability: Depending the topic of conversation or situation, the little Jenkins can explode or suppress her emotions until she’s all alone. Alone the girl cry all she needs to cry or hit something until it is in pieces. Normally Kate express herself if she feels comfortable, mostly when surrounded by friends or people she can trust.

Expression: The Jenkins almost all the time wears a blank expression, but if she’s with her friends or alone, you can see how she really is and feels.

Humor: With her friends she joke sometimes, but she isn’t the funny type

Liveliness: Once you gain her trust and/or affection, Kate will slowly open up and relax around you

Mannerisms: She moves her legs a little when she’s been waiting for a long time, runs her hand through her hair when she’s about to say something difficult or uncomfortable to someone else, scratches the back of her neck when she’s nervous, blink more than usual when she hears something unexpected or gets confused

Patience: “Everything has a limit,” she would say if someone asked why she did not wait for 2 hours to receive a piece of apple pie

Reputation: For the others in Survey Corps, she’s the girl who got a scolding from Captain Levi after fighting with Jean or the girl who makes good strategies, for those in the Military Police she’s the girl who makes great strategies and does not show emotions, for those who are in the Garrison is who helped to take back Wall Maria, and for normal people she is the daughter of a wealthy couple who has a twin who was born dead and was named with the name that would be her sister

H: She’s really complex!

Sociability: She does not approach other people unless she really admire that person or think is necessary. Usually people approach her

H: In general, I think you wrote her really well and realistically. She has an interesting backstory, but there are a few inconsistencies, and a few places where you could add more. She’s a really promising start, though!

[tcnv]

Valentine

My brain most logically thinks that texting you was a mistake last night. Keenan’s advice from so long ago was to STOP telling you how I feel, advice that would’ve proven helpful if I’d have listened to it sometimes before. 

I’ve been there a million and one times now though, of wanting to talk to you and keeping my silence. I just couldn’t do that today. On the one hand I miss you and crave the place you filled in my life, couldn’t let you forget me because I was afraid to speak. On the other hand, making you proud and putting a smile on your face is the only job I’ve ever had lifelong aspirations for. You deserve the flowers, the cards, the candy, the limo, the dress, the night out, the breakfast the next day and more flowers on your way out the door. And, as much as I know you will say you don’t need that, I know the person you along with how hard you work. One of my biggest wishes is for the chance  to spoil you or make you grin again. (And again =). I’m not sorry I messaged you this time. 

I look forward to when we can Talking with you again. Not the fake, “we’re trying to make this work”, awkward, same-3-questions-then-silence talking we’re prone to. Idc what it’s about, just real talking.

I’m in 3 places with you when it comes down to it. On one side I understand that you’ve said no a million times. I understand that I was the catalyst for my own disaster, one of the most disappointing things I’ve ever done in my whole life. I see you excelling and shining as brightly as ever, and whether you believe it or not, I don’t ignore how well you’re doing without any influence from me. You’ve raised up all your walls against me, and I admit that sometimes I have no idea how I’ll ever get around them or be allowed inside again.

On yet another hand, I remember our relationship and how we were. I remember the amazing times that convinced me that I was meant to marry you, and the rough times that almost ended us more than once. I’m not naive to how many ups and downs we actually faced, although I know you think it seems that way. But I still know beyond any doubt that with worst moment in the world while I was with you, it was still the greatest time and relationship of my life (with possible exceptions to Jesus, Rachel and my parents...). This part of me is still overcome with emotion for how big of a failure, what I really lost as a result of that one instance. That same part of me continues to growl that for all the moments that let us separate, a billion more were made to shoot for the contrary. And and infinite number more are waiting to be made. This sounds a little more dramatic than I want it to, but I have to capture what you and this whole process mean to me. I’m still here.

The last part of me is defiant. The last part of me knows the truth. The truth is that I would rather be alone and chasing you than in the best of situations with anyone else. The truth is that you wanted to get away from needing me and, honestly, our needing each other was one of the single most beloved facets of my life. This part of me knows how long it’s been and what it must look like to still be chasing after you, writing letters that you might never read. This part of me knows that no matter what I feel for you, you might never give me a chance again. I know all that. But I can’t give up on you Vanessa. Giving up on you is like giving up on myself, like giving up on a part of my family.... its like giving up on my hope for success or for a bright future. 

It’s like giving up on seeing the sunshine when you wake up in the mornings. This part of me knows you aren’t jumping back into anything with me, and that we’ve had problems talking about how we could actually reconnect in a way that fits both of us. Obviously with you I want it all, but I know that that’s not an immediate thing. I just ask you, if its ever again on the table,  to consider letting me in.

This last part is the side of me that knows how well you do without me but knows you would’ve had this success without our breakup too. This is the side of me that knows you like the freedom and the traveling you do. It’s been too long and I don’t know exactly what the mesh of us together would look like right now, but I will say that my mission has always been about making you as happy as possible, I don’t think I’m crazy for thinking I can work with whatever traveling you really want to do. This is the part of me that knows you’ve told me no, but also knows that there’s a reason we have trouble hanging out alone without something extra coming of it. This is the part of me that knows there’s more still there than a few “moments of weakness. Lol this is the side of me that will write letters that are entirely too long. 

We both know what this is on my end V. I have nothing to gain, no motivation from you or any one else, no reason to still fight for this with you if not for my honest feelings for you. On one there’s this huge implosion that we suffered, that I caused, and from up close it seem irreparable. But on the other hand, what I’ve seen since that very night and what’s become only blatantly clearer as time has passed, is that what we are/ what we could have with each other is entirely too big, too amazing, too vital, too overwhelmingly important for something like this to end it. It’s this pov that I feel the most strongly, the “whatever it takes to have you back” mentality along with it. This is the part of me that’s ready to show you that there’s good reason for a 2nd look.

It might seem as easy as taking a step, or as impossible as leaping the Grand Canyon. I want to make you look at every step following that one with a confident smile though, and no one on Earth is more dedicated to that ( or more dedicated to you) than I am

I love you Vanessa