#vanya x ricardo

[aro-ortega]

thinking about chen who has been secretly in love with ricardo for ~20 years and refuses to do anything about it. vs vanya who had been secretly in love with ricardo and, upon coming back from the dead and ricardo coming back into his life, decided that he couldn't waste any more time and needed to act on his feelings. and chen witnessing this and being reminded of this every time he stumbles upon the two making out in rangers hq

vanya having what chen could never have / doing what chen could never do. and now it is too late for chen to ever have that, if he ever mustered the courage to act on his feelings, bc it is too late now. he already has vanya, the one he has been pining for / obsessed with since day one, since sidestep died. vanya made his choice and it took away chen ever having a chance, it's over now

and it should be easy to hate vanya for this. he hated him before. but he doesn't hate him, how can he after seeing those pictures ? after seeing how broken he is at the park ? and then it happens again, he falls for someone he can never have, bc he is taken by the other person that chen is in love with. only for vanya to surprise him by not only kissing him, but encouraging him to pursue his feelings for ric.

can he have this after all ? after believing for two decades that it was impossible ?

[themarcspector-a]

“ i know i’m not the person you want, but i’m here. ” naom x vanya

Naom just does not understand - does he? The fact that he has constantly been on her mind since she moved here should be obvious to him by now. The thing is, it just isn’t obvious to him and it drives her up the wall to know he thinks he isn’t loved or even cared for by her.  The way she looks at him with sad doe eyes, longing to kiss him or even rest her hand on the crook of his neck. How his smile sets a fire within her and makes her want to take down anyone who even thinks of hurting either of them. Naom should be telling her he’s there for her because he knows that he’s who she wanted there more than anyone or anything. Except he just doesn’t get it.  Naom doesn’t understand that she loves him. “You know, I should smack you right?” Vanya can’t help but to tease, smiling just a bit as she looked up at him, her wound bleeding through its bandage. “Because, it’s you - you know; it’s always going to be you, you fool, you absolute idiot.” She let out a shaky breath after that, because it hurt a little too much to talk. 

Naom simply placed a wet rag to her head and cleaned off her sweat. “You don’t have to lie to me. I know about Ricardo,” he said to her, softly, causing Vanya to laugh just a little bit before coughing and mumbling in pain.   “Ricardo is gone. And he never loved me. You loved me, though. I feel it. Just as I love…” she’s about to say more, but the spike of pain she felt from talking. 

@bondgirl

[themarcspector-archive]

Title: Forgiveness.

Wip: Shadow Palms.

Ship: Vanya Gamal-Cooper & Ricardo Valdez

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: mentions alcohol, kissing, guilt.

Prompt: Forgiveness,

Notes: Vanya and Rico are discussing his guilt. Also I just felt like writing them.

Tagging: no one. it's 4:47am and I am writing like a fool. So if it makes no sense you did not witness this.

Rico wasn’t exactly sure why Vanya found interest in him. He was not a shy or unconfident man by any means, but he did believe that Vanya was out of his league and the type of woman who dated men and women who were as professional and level-headed as her. Her dead husband, Dean, was a prime example of the type of guy that he thought Vanya would go for: the guy had been a family lawyer and he was the chipper and charming type.

Rico had been the chipper type, once upon a time, but after witnessing a teen go through a door and it disappear, he kind of ended up disliking the world they lived in. And though he knew something that small shouldn’t have changed his whole personality...it had.

He had seen someone with so much potential go through into another world, and probably never come back, and he’d told people he thought could help, and no one believed him. Rico was even fired for telling because no in town ever spoke of the people who went missing in it. It had left him bitter. Because he did, you know, want to help people and was very limited in the ways he could do that now as a private investigator. 

Vanya had thought he helped a good amount though, and she even believed him when he told her about the door incident. Hell, she even believed him when he told her he was psychic and had a group of friends back when he lived in Hysteria Heights, who were psychics, too.

Vanya had found the whole thing interesting. Even sharing facts from her psychology studies with him. The type of stuff he found fascinating, because she was fascinating and told stories like the best storyteller in the universe. 

Smiling at her now, Rico couldn’t help but watch as she poured him a glass of whiskey, and then proceeded to walk his way - her hips swaying in a mesmoring manner as she walked, before she took a seat on his lap. She passed him the drink after, and then smiled at him when she gave him a soft kiss on his stubbled chin. 

“You’re helping people find closure,” she told him, nodding her head, before giving him a kiss on the lips this time; the kiss itself making him feel a little lighter, and maybe even better than the whiskey will later. “You should stop being so hard on yourself about losing your job and that girl.”

He looked away from her but then she gently grabbed his chin and turned his head to face her. “I mean it, Ricardo. Be kinder to yourself. It’s honestly what you need. It will make you happier, I promise.” 

Rico rolled his eyes, because he wasn’t sure he wanted to be happier. He also wasn’t sure if he deserved to be happier. “If I wanted to be happier, I wouldn’t break-up with you every other week,” he said with a small chuckle, that managed to make her roll her eyes at him, and then laugh just a bit. 

“You’re playing games, instead of talking. You know I hate that. But really, Rico: get your shit together and understand that shit happens all the time – especially in our town. You can’t just give up because of it.” She nodded her head and then used her hands to nod his head when he didn’t nod his head along with her. She had lost so much, so she knew what she was talking about. “I know, but…I knew her. I knew the girl I saw go through the door,” he said to her in a low voice. “She was my friend’s kid.” He frowned. “And now she’ll never ever forgive me for that. So, I can’t….forgive myself, either.” He sighed, but he kept his eyes on his girlfriend. 

Vanya sighed back at him. “I see…” was all she managed to say. “And what happens if she never forgives you?” Her eyebrow arched. 

“Then I’ll never forgive myself, either…” He said this in a neutral tone that probably took her back because she let go of his face and buried herself against his neck. He then ran his hand through her curly locks, and enjoyed the closeness of her body against his, before he gently pulled her up. “I don’t think it would be fair of me to forgive myself without her forgiveness, really...”

She looked at him and said, "Well, I understand, but you should try to. The world will look brighter that way." He wasn't going to humor her by talking anymore, instead he drank some of his drink and lifted his glass to her lips. "Cheers," he said in the driest of tones.  

[aro-ortega]

love when a particular brand of chargestep is big sad wet eyes 4 big sad wet eyes

[aro-ortega]

chen getting to work a little late one day and waiting for the elevator to get up to his office when it opens up and. there's vanya making out with his best friend and crush again (they are kissing good bye) it is too fucking early for this 😑☕️

[aro-ortega]

when he knows he's making a visit to rangers hq to make out w ricardo, vanya wears like. a romper or something under his clothes. something without space for ricardo to get his hands on his skin when he inevitably gets his hands up vanyas jacket + turtleneck

[aro-ortega]

thinking about.... vanya introducing himself when he finally gives a name to ricardo as "im ivan...... but friends call me vanya" (to let ricardo know that hes a Friend they are Friends now) and ricardo only ever exclusively calling him vanya..... and introducing him to the team (chen and anathema) as vanya to let him know that These are friends we are your Friends here....

[aro-ortega]

vanya wants to have sex with ricardo So Bad but hes got these stupid ass tattoos cockblocking him

[aro-ortega]

once again thinking about my vampire vanya au

in the group chat this morning, jack was talking about a scenario where steps memories get reset by the farm and then: "if only so we can get a scene of desperately trying to rejog their memories in front of their RO of choice"

and it made me think of how in the vampire vanya au, vampires lose all their memories of being human.... so now i am considering vanya having known ricardo before he turned and they were together and in love and had lots of sloppy make outs.... and then vanya is turned and disappears and forgets...... and ricardo finding him again but he doesn't remember......

[aro-ortega]

ricardo @ vanya pre confession

[aro-ortega]

thinking about how i read that the jesus prayer is common to recite throughout the day for orthodox christians and thinking about vanya muttering it to himself before/after kissing ricardo or chen

edit, context: in english, the jesus prayer is "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner"

[aro-ortega]

and then they don't talk about anything ever until post-retribution. the next time they talk is after the gala, and the next time ortega Tries to get him to talk is in the elevator at the hospital and. vanya kisses him for the first time ever. bc he wants to but also bc he doesn't want to talk about it. and then he just Keeps Doing That every time ricardo tries to Talk and eventually ricardo just gives up and takes what he can get (enthusiastically)

[aro-ortega]

okay wait since we're asking questions now: tell me something about Vanya that you've WANTED to say but haven't had an excuse to yet

this is hard i feel like i share every vanya related thought that pops into my head already....

Um one thing I have not said yet tho is. okay so vanya (marta) is having a Rough time and also she is so so ashamed of ric Knowing things now. but she does end up going to rics for a week after about a week of living w chen - the only reason he does this is bc they get their period and the dysphoria of being a Woman around the (gay) man that she has feelings for os stronger than her avoidance of ric at that time. and then the two finally actually TALK to each other. and then vanya tells ric that she loves him bc it's important that he knows, he doesnt want him to ever doubt that. and then they bone (for the first time ! which vanya also has complicated feelings about bc it's not His body and he specifically avoided sleeping w ricardo as marta (but that was bc, just like w the kiss, he knew he wouldnt be able to stop himself anymore and sleeping w ric in his body was Not An Option))

[aro-ortega]

Top 9 People You Want to Get to Know Better

i was tagged by @glitchy-npc and also @autumnfangirler on my main (@/arcane-lock) thank yall for thinking of me !

i will tag ! @villainsidestep @swordsandspectacles @disastersteps and @groan-taire ! (sorry if any of yall have done this already, ive been mostly offline today)

favourite colour: yellow !

currently reading: just started reading harrow the ninth with my partner in our book club ! i really liked gideon, i have no idea what to expect from this book (its my partners 5th time rereading it) but im looking forward to reading more

last song: i've been mostly listening to my sidestep playlist recently, including as i type this so last song is - EDIT. I FORGOT TO ADD THE SONG. IT'S 'BABY NO MORE' BY ANJIMILE

last series: does series mean show ? i have been watching house and big brother with my maman ! this is my first time watching house but she's seen it all before, i like it but it can be too gory/graphic for me

sweet, savory, or spicy?: sweet ! i love sweets i have a big sweet tooth

currently working on: so many things ! im working on three fhr art pieces rn and also need to start a ref/sketch of heartbreaks armour from the front, and ive also been working on outlining a couple fics and i started writing a small thing just for fun and to explore writing in second person. ill put the things i worked on today under the read more

vanya + ric making out at rangers hq

"hi! what are you doing here?" 

"i came to see you," you say honestly. you don't have much free time these days, but when you have a spare handful of hours between one task and the next, and there's nothing pressing or immediate, or nothing else that can really be done in that time -- ocassionally, you indulge. and these days, more often than not, you want to spend that time with ricardo.

the very least you can do for him is be honest with your feelings for him - you want to see him, no ulterior motives.

he smiles and you try to return it - it feels off, and by the expression on ortega's face it looks it too.

but ricardo doesn't ask if you're okay. he's been doing that less and less altely. probably just as tired of hearing your lies as you are of telling them.

"not just to see me, i hope," he says with a flirty wink.

"well," you say, drawing closer to him. you put your hands on his shoulders; his come to your hips. "that tends to lead to the rest."

deja vu?

ortega blinks.

then, he smirks and grips just a little harder, pulling you closer to him.

"i have to say, i'm surprised," he says. "i didn't think you would be so comfortable with public displays of affection."

you shrug. your hands move from his shoulders to his neck, his jaw, his cheeks.

"i want to kiss you," you say. it's easy to be honest with this - why does the rest feel impossible? "if someone see's, i'm willing to pay that price."

[aro-ortega]

i forgot i wrote this, i found it in my notes app

[aro-ortega]

Organized all the songs on Vanya's playlist into their various personas & relationships

*Vanya songs:

[  ] First Things First - Neon Trees

[  ] Ghosts & Monsters* - Saint Chaos

[  ] I'm Not Getting Excited - The Beths

[  ] I Fall Hard - The Strike

[  ] Everything Is Going Great - Tiny Stills

[  ] Delirium Tremendous - Felix Hagan & the Family

[  ] Creature of the Night - Air Traffic Controller

[  ] Sick of the Silence* - Mother Mother

[  ] SuperNatural Possession - Laura Jane Grace

[  ] Twinkle Lights - The Sonder Bombs

[  ] whole wide world - tiLLie

[  ] Blue Lips - Regina Spektor

[  ] Hurry, Hurry - Air Traffic Controller

[  ] Sleep - My Chemical Romance

[  ] Sleep Awake - Mother Mother

[ ] Poor Isaac - The Airborne Toxic Event

[ ] Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode

[ ] IM FINE - Royal & the Serpent

*Some of these are Vanya & HB songs, but I didn't feel the need to differentiate the category bc it's not like Vanya Knows that HB is hanging around in their head.

Vanya x Ricardo songs:

[  ] Just a Ride - The Virginmarys

[  ] Somebody Told Me - The Killers

[  ] But Not Often, - Microwave

[  ] I Want You - Reignwolf

[  ] I Never Loved Myself Like I Loved You - Dead Poet Society

[  ] I Fall Hard - The Strike

[  ] Hologram - Katie Herzig

Vanya x Chen songs:

[  ] I Want You - Reignwolf

[  ] I Fall Hard - The Strike

[  ] I Like You - Bloods; Laura Jane Grace

[  ] Straight Face - Younger Hunger

Vanya x Ricardo x Chen songs:

[  ] Lucky - Dehd

[  ] Three of Hearts - Laura Jane Grace

Marta songs:

[  ] Queen of Spades - Darwin Deez

[  ] Feel The Way I Want - Caroline Rose

[  ] SuperNatural Possession - Laura Jane Grace

Marta x Ricardo songs:

[  ] Somebody Told Me - The Killers

[  ] Hologram - Katie Herzig

Vanya (Marta) songs:

[  ] First Things First - Neon Trees

[  ] Feel The Way I Want - Caroline Rose

[  ] Everything Is Going Great - Tiny Stills

[ ] Panic - SM6

Vanya & Ace songs:

[  ] Puppet Loosely Strung - The Correspondents

[  ] Feel The Way I Want - Caroline Rose

[  ] Animal - Caroline Rose

[  ] I Never Loved Myself Like I Loved You - Dead Poet Society