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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 11 months

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Is It Really That Bad?

The Disney Renaissance inspired a slew of imitators, as we all know, but perhaps the most famous (or infamous, perhaps) of them all was WB’s Quest for Camelot. Usually I’d do a little more buildup before just dropping the film’s name like that, but I think we need to get it out of the way as quickly as possible so I can tell you the wild story of this film’s creation and box office failure, because boy is there a lot to unpack here.

Things seemed good at the start. Bill and Susan Kroyer, the husband-and-wife duo who brought the world FernGully: The Last Rainforest, were on board to direct the film, and it was going to be a faithful adaptation of Vera Chapman’s novel The King’s Damsel. With a PG-13 rating, a dark story, and a slew of talented animators including none other than Lauren Faust, this film was on track to become one of the most unique animated films in the animation Renaissance, a movie that could very well have stepped boldly out of Disney’s shadow and made WB a true contender! But I’m reviewing it here, so you know that didn’t happen.

What did happen was the Kroyers got the boot and were replaced by Frederick Du Chau, and this is where it all started to go downhill. Apparently he didn’t like good ideas, because he decided to trash the original idea for the film and retool the whole thing into a shameless Disney copycat, even going so far as to shoehorn in a bunch of musical numbers at the last minute and keeping a lot of the animators in the dark about what exactly they were animating (something Faust in particular has been pissed about). Animator David Germain has also said the film’s producer, Dalisa Cooper Cohen, hated animation to begin with and was only here because a film she co-produced bombed thanks to WB’s bad advertising, so right from the word go we have more red flags than you can shake a stick at.

But of course, they ignored those red flags, and they put all their chips on this being the way forward for WB animation, going so far as to burying future cult classic Cats Don’t Dance so it wouldn’t outshine this movie. They even got a tie-in meal with Wendy’s which had toys and also a special promotional ticket to get adults in at kid prices! What could go wrong with this? Let me tell you what could go wrong: Barely grossing back half the forty million dollar budget. It’s kind of a bad idea to cut your box office gains in half with a cheap ticket you can get while buying your kid dinner, y’know?

To call the results of this film’s failure devastating are a gross understatement. WB snuffed out every animated film they had in development and refused to advertise their upcoming three animated films, after this failed, ending any chance they had at ever being considered a real contender for Disney in terms of animation dominance; in fact, even after moving the release date from Christmas of 1997 to May 1998 to avoid competing with big releases, the movie still ended up competing with Mulan and losing handily, truly sealing the deal. But this movie didn’t just obliterate WB’s hopes for some of that Disney cash, oh no! This film ended up being seen as a sign the Renaissance age of animation was over due to being the ultimate shameless Disney copycat, it ended up being regarded as one of the reasons the animated musical died out for a time (though Dreamworks changing the game with Shrek is probably the bigger reason), and more than anything this film’s abysmal failure is cited by some as a reason for the death of traditional animation from western studios!

It really doesn’t help the film’s case that no one who worked on this has very many nice things to say about it. Everyone who was part of the animation team who has been asked about their experience has overwhelmingly negative things to say about it. It really seems like the entire world has it out for this film, huh? Eventually Cats Don’t Dance got its vindication as well as a massive furry fandom; meanwhile, all this movie got was a Nostalgia Critic review where Doug tore this movie apart. But is the hate warranted? Before this review, I hadn’t seen this movie in about two decades, but I remember liking it. Sure, reading all this made me very apprehensive, but I had to give it a fair shake. So is this movie a hidden gem of the time that was unfairly maligned, or is it really that bad after all?

THE GOOD

I think it’s pretty indisputable that, all things considered, the soundtrack is pretty good. There’s a reason “The Prayer” is the big breakaway pop hit of the film, to the point many people forget this is where it came from. The soundtrack is so good that even the stupid song introducing the pointless comic relief characters is pretty great out of context, and the worst track is hilarious, so bad it’s good nonsense. This is all despite the songs being a late addition, to the point that in the movie the songs either play over unfitting scenes or screech the plot to a halt only to be completely ignored once they’re finished.

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There’s a lot of flaws with the animation (which I’ll get into below), but there are things worthy of praise, such as the designs of Ruber’s half-human, half-weapon henchmen he creates with a magical potion. The standout among them, of course, is Bladebeak the axe chicken voiced by Jaleel White. You read that right. Sonic the Hedgehog voiced an axe chicken. It’s so delightfully stupid that despite Bladebeak doing nothing to meaningfully impact the plot and despite him spouting a horrifically egregious Sudden Impact reference mangled by a groan-worthy pun, I can’t help but love him. At least he’s a better pointless chicken than fucking Hei Hei.

One of the most bafflingly positive aspects of the film is that it has perhaps one of the best, most nuanced animated portrayals of a disabled character of its time. Blind swordsman Garret is portrayed as not completely helpless even with the disadvantages of his blindness, he’s learned workarounds to his condition, he’s incredibly independent and perfectly able to survive on his own, and the film never gets too sappy about it and gives him a bit of insecurity and self-doubt due to his condition. And despite the film ending with a magical healing wave, he’s not cured of his condition! He gets to keep his disability, and at the same time get knighted and score a girlfriend! How the fuck did this movie of all things manage to accidentally do representation right? Garret walked so Toph Beifong could run.

And I’ve saved the very best for last: Ruber. On paper, Ruber is about as generic a bad guy as you can get, being a power-hungry conqueror with the looks to match (one wonders what King Arthur was even thinking hiring this hulking man with clammy skin and disgustingly untrimmed fingernails), but in the hands of Gary Oldman he is elevated into the single funniest character in the entire film. Oldman’s hammy delivery of the most basic lines manages to do things like make his villain “song” (it’s in quotations because it’s basically just Ruber talking and occasionally rhyming over a beat) into a so bad it’s good masterpiece and dropping lines like “The ogre’s butt!” with far more dignity than they deserve. Throw in an intimidating griffon sidekick with an unfittingly squeaky voice and some of the most ridiculous expression imaginable courtesy of the animators, and you have a villain who was born to be a meme. His reign as king of Camelot may have been short, but Ruber will always be reigning champ of campy, ridiculous animated villains.

THE BAD

One of my biggest fears rewatching this was that Devon and Cornwall, the dragon with two heads who can’t stand each other, were going to be the most horrible, unbearable characters of all time. Thankfully, they weren’t, mainly because being portrayed by Eric Idle and Don Rickles respectively keeps the two from being completely insufferable. That being said, they absolutely do still suck and are the worst characters in the entire film.

They are very clearly meant to be the Genie of this film, the comic relief side character portrayed by a popular comedian who unrelentingly does gags and makes pop culture references, but here it just has zero rhyme or reason to it. Genie could see through time and space with his phenomenal cosmic powers, so of course he knows who Jack Nicholson is; how does this mismatched dragon duo have a clue who Elvis is when they can’t even fly or breathe fire when we first meet them? The musical number their introduced with, which is a nonstop stream of references while the two sing how much they hate each other, is especially egregious, dragging on and on despite the joke wearing out its welcome really quickly. But hey, it’s not so bad! They dress up as Sonny and Cher towards the end! What a cute little joke, I’m sure glad nothing happened in real life right before this movie came out that would make this gag tasteless and insensitive!

Our heroine Kayley is also divisive, enough to give the dragon doofuses a run for their money. Even the animators had no fucking clue what to make of this woman. Is she supposed to be whiny and vapid? Is she a genuinely likable hero who is just overshadowed by the much cooler Garret? Maybe if they could have just stuck one idea and run with it, but the production of this movie was such a disaster to begin with it’s understandble why Kayley is such a hot mess. For the record, I don’t think she’s all that bad, but she really isn’t a standout or anything. Garret and Ruber are just ridiculously cool, Devon and Cornwall are just insanely bad, Bladebeak is the greatest thing ever created, and Kayley is just… there.

The animation itself is… dodgy. Sure, the designs of everything look great… when they aren’t moving, anyway. Background extras have weird expressions frozen on their faces, characters in long shots clip through each other, and some characters just move in the weirdest and choppiest ways. That’s not even getting into the ogre, who is animated with jarring CGI that has aged just as well as you can imagine.

The biggest issue with this movie, though, is that even though it has literally everything that makes a great Disney Renaissance film present and accounted for—a headstrong female protagonist, a charming male lead, an epic soundtrack, a comic relief character, an animal sidekick, an extremely flamboyant villain—it literally has no idea how to utilize any of these things and bring them together in a coherent story. I think this is most apparent with the musical numbers, which basically just come and go with little fanfare or explanation due to how late they were added to the film, but going even further than that the film just makes no attempt to logically build off anything. Things just happen because they’re supposed to happen in this story. Oh, Ruber has a magic potion? He just got it from witches, whatever, he needs a way to make sword demons. Oh, Devon and Cornwall need an excuse to travel with the heroes? Well, uh, dragon code says they can’t help humans but they did anyway so now they’re basically in exile! Doug Walker, throughout his review, repeatedly demanded, “Explain, movie! Explain!” due to how little internal logic or reason this film has, and it’s hard not to say the same. Obviously suspension of disbelief works for things like Excalibur vaporizing Ruber or the magical forest or the existence of dragons, but we are told so much and shown so little in other areas that it becomes quite glaring.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Quest for Camelot is genuinely pretty bad, but honestly? That’s part of what makes it so charming in a weird way.

Like, this is one of the most blatant attempts at copying the Disney style out there; Anastasia was more subtle than this. And even then, it copies everything in the most nonsensical, haphazard ways possible! It has all the elements of what made the Disney Renaissance worked, but no idea how to apply them in ways to make anything resembling a coherent story, and the result is nothing short of fascinating.

“So bad it’s good” and campy animation are very underrepresented when it comes to discussions of film, though I think there’s a sense that animation that has been half-assed is more egregious than a live action film doing the same. Shark Tale is probably the premier example because of how absolutely batshit the film is, and I think Quest for Camelot easily measures up to it, though where Shark Tale is on the hilariously bad side of things, Quest for Camelot is more on the campy side of things, even if it’s mainly for Ruber’s presence alone. But even compared to Shark Tale I’d say this movie is just a smidge better, mainly because it’s less confused with what it wants to be and has a better understanding of the story structure it’s aping. It’s a mess, but it’s a mostly entertaining mess, even if it’s for the wrong reasons a lot of the time.

I’ll be honest, watching through this movie again as an adult wasn’t exactly the best, as I could see this for what it is: A desperate attempt to capture that Disney magic. At the same time, though, I don’t really think this film is nearly as bad as it’s made out to be. I think there’s a sort of charm to it, even with all of its glaring issues and how much it sucks. Ruber alone is worth watching this film for, honestly, so I’m gonna be nice for a change and say that 6.2 on IMDB is mostly fair, though I definitely think it’s only that high due to nostalgia. Realistically, I’d say this film is a 5.5, but I wouldn’t fault anyone for finding this film charming. As far as batshit insane animated movies of the 90s go this one isn’t as weird and creative as We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story or Freddie as F.R.0.7., but I think it still manages to be just stupid and silly enough to earn its place in the world.

#Is it really that bad #IIRTB #review #movie review #Quest for Camelot #WB #animation #animated movie

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queer-ragnelle · 4 months

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Hello. I shall thank you again for replying to my requests, which are really helpful. But there is a question that I would love to ask. Or maybe two

1. What are your personal favourite Arthuriana movies/series?

2. Which Arthuriana movies/series are the most accurate to the Legends?

3. Which ones shall I avoid? And why?

P. S. I have already watched:

Knights of the Round Table (1953) 9/10 (I loved Lancelot and Elaine together. He loved her, just not as much as he loved Guinevere... Arthur/Lancelot chemistry. Lancelot vs Mordred... Unexpected duel)

Lancelot du Lac (1974) 7/10 (I loved Gawain and the relationship with Lancelot)

Excalibur (1981) 10/10 (The movie is a gem. I wish we had more like this nowadays... The Lancelot redemption was amazing)

Cursed (2020) 6/10 (I only liked the Fae lore there)

BBC Merlin 8/10 (There were some wack moments. And Arthur wasn't really my jam. But the show is amazing)

hi! you’re welcome, i’m glad it was helpful. :^)

this is going to be a long multi-part answer, so i’ll throw it below a cut to avoid an obnoxious wall of text on the dash.

1. What are your personal favourite Arthuriana movies/series?

movies:

Knights of The Round Table (1953)

Sword of Lancelot (1963)

Camelot (1967)

Lancelot du Lac (1974)

Monty Python and The Holy Grail (1975)

Excalibur (1981) [review]

Merlin and The Sword (1985)

A Knight’s Tale (2001)

Tristan and Isolde (2006)

Kaamelott First Installment (2021)

The Green Knight (2021)

shows:

The Adventures of Sir Lancelot (1956–1957)

BBC The Legend of King Arthur (1979)

Merlin (1998)

Starz Camelot (2011)

2. Which Arthuriana movies/series are the most accurate to the Legends?

finding an “accurate” arthurian adaptation or retelling is an exercise in futility. no iteration exists without its own unique interpretation, including the medieval texts. gawain is obscenely inconsistent, so determining what constitutes an “accurate” characterization of him is literally impossible. the same can be said for every aspect of the legends. each author does their own thing! the other problem is that even if what’s there is reminiscent of the stories it references, something is inevitably missing. most of the time it’s gaheris. (okay, it’s always gaheris.) more often than not, the entire prose tristan cast gets cut. occasionally, one of the lads will show up on his own completely disconnected from the original lore… (palamedes in the black knight (1954), lamorak in sword of lancelot (1963) and again in kaamelott the first installment (2021), dinadan in camelot (1967), and tristan in king arthur (2004)) but i digress. if you’re looking for something that covers the majority of the story from arthur’s conception to his death, the choices are minimal.

BBC The Legend of King Arthur (1979)

Excalibur (1981)

3. Which ones shall I avoid? And why?

movies:

The Black Knight (1954): orientalist, black face palamedes. enough said.

Sword of The Valiant (1984): a remake of gawain and the green knight (1973) with worse everything from casting to costuming to pacing. tall, jacked gawain isn’t real and can’t hurt me.

Guinevere (1994): if i was persia woolley and they showed me this movie calling it an adaptation of my books, i’d maul them.

First Knight (1995): so ick it’s funny. wow this lancelot sucks. american accent, insufferable, entitled, gives face-hugger kisses? convoluted scenarios presented as romantic. lame costuming. questionable age gap between arthur/guin. he knew her as a child????? girl run.

Quest For Camelot (1998): rip author vera chapman, fortunate enough to pass before witnessing this abominable adaptation. why americanize the names lynette and gareth? why the hideous animation? the shabby song and dance numbers? the books are dark let’s make a kids musical out of it!

King Arthur: Legend of The Sword (2017): weaksauce attempt to cash in on existing audience. discombobulated the lore until unrecognizable. two women are fridged in the first half hour. strangely edited. nobody is likable. overall cringe.

shows:

King Arthur and The Knights of Justice (1992): nothing of substance here, typical 90s cartoon existing to sell toys.

The Mists of Avalon (2001): i’ll never support anything related to author marion zimmer bradley. she’s dead, let’s kill her legacy too.

Merlin’s Apprentice (2006): not sure what happened here but this sequel to the 1998 original is the biggest downgrade ever.

The Seven Deadly Sins (2014–present): every pitfall an anime can have, this one has in spades. beyond the bastardization of arthurian lore, it’s hard to follow chronologically bc the seasons are named not numbered, full of shameless fan service, lolis, a drop in budget resulted in ugly cgi animation.

Netflix Cursed (2020): take a shot every time a nicknamed character is revealed to be loosely arthurian. no don’t you’ll get alcohol poisoning. did netflix do it? did they solve misogyny by putting a sword in a girl’s hand? this was so disappointing it offended me.

anyway if there’s something i didn’t mention here then it’s mid. bbc merlin isn’t really my thing but it’s fun! transformers feels so far removed from actual arthuriana it’s not worth discussion, unlike some others that are trying really hard and suck so much. stuff like that. hope this gives you some things to check out next!

#arthurian legend #arthurian legends #arthuriana #arthurian mythology #fanficwritinggremlin #ask

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idridian · 7 months

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i have excellent taste what else is new

#ramblings o' mine #i'm stressed and sleep deprived i'm in the mood to put myself on blast

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thegirlandthewardrobe · 10 months

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STUFF YOUR KINDLE DAY IS FRIDAY JUNE 30TH!!! (HUNDREDS OF FREE BOOKS)

There's going to be TONS of free romance books available on Amazon for download! The books can be also be downloaded/sent to Non-Kindle devices as well. The list of available books was released early and can be found here. I also took the time to scroll through some of the categories and compile a brief list of some of the books that I'm looking forward to downloading, in case anyone needs help choosing books😊 I also linked the Goodreads description for each and every book for those of you who want more info or reviews!

P.S. These are all spicy reads (with probably the exception of the YA ones), IYKYK😏

Happy Reading❤️

**=Reverse Harem/Why Choose

Young Adult Romance

Midnight Prince by Aisha Urooj

White by Angelina J. Steffort

Gravebriar by Casey L. Bond

Kingdom of Embers by Trina Copeland

Teaching the Teachers Pet by Sarah Sutton

Crimson Born by Amy Patrick

Her Dark Love by Isra Sravenheart

In the Dust by K.A. Gandy

Fire and Ice by Michelle Barrow-Belisle

Keeper of Dragons: The Prince Returns by J.A. Culican

Fantasy Romance

The Prince of Dragons by Tameri Etherton

Veiled by Michelle Areaux

Dragon Soul by L.J. Swallow

Empath's Lure by Jen Lynning

Wolf Shunned by Laurel Night

To Catch A Fae by Mila Young

Taming the Vines by Anita Primrose

The Gilded Survivor by Daniela A. Mera

Empath: The Tale of Flora and Cale by Meghan Shaltes

The Queen's Wings by Jamie K. Schmidt

Captured by the Fae by Vera Rivers

The Coven of Ruin by T.K. Tucker

The Lost Siren by Raven Storm

Death Wish by Harper A. Brooks

Maiden Flight by Bianca D'Arc

The Borderlands Princess by Ophelia Wells Langley

Blade and Rose by Miranda Honfleur

Princess of Thorns by Amberlyn Holland

The Captive and the Cursed by Alexa Saint

Lord of the Hollow Court by C.K. Beggan

**Queen of the Stars by Catherine Banks

**Captive Beauty by Cassia Briar

Queen of Roses by Brior Boleyn

**Psychotic by Elle Lincoln

Night Elves of Ardani by Nina K. Westra

The Gardener and the Water-horse by Mallory Dunlin

**Our Fae Queen by Traci Lovelot

Sun Serpent by Geneva Monroe

**Torn Apart by D.E. Chapman

Paranormal Romance

Never Say Never by Sarah Spade

**Daughter of the Sun by Laura Greenwood

**The Stalking Dead by Eva Chase

Forbidden Wolf by CR Robertson

**Splintered: Brookview Academy by A.J. Moran

**A Monstrous Claim: Part 1 by R.K. Pierce

Breaking the Lovers' Curse by Lore Nicole

The Dragon's Reluctant Sacrifice by Ines Johnson

**Monsters by Katie May

Night Revelations by Godiva Gleen

**Scarred Wolf by Elizabeth Blackthorne

**Vampire's Kiss by Atlas Rose

**Red by Tracey H. Kitts

**Dark Spirits by N.A. Jameson

Feral by Trish Heinrick

Her Primal Love by Rianne Burnett

**Magic Claimed by Charmaine Ross

**Life's a Witch by Skyler Andra

**Vampires Don't Give Hickeys by Holly Ryan

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heavenboy09 · 11 months

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25 Years Ago

On May 15th, 1998

Warner Bros Pictures Proudly Presents

A Animated Family Musical Feature Film 🎥

That Became A Timeless Classic Over The Years Since Its Release

Very Loosley Based On The Novel, The King's 👑 Dasomel 👧

Written By Vera Chapman

In A Far Away Land

In A Golden Age

In A Kingdom Of Justice ⚖ & Honor

Ruled By A Fair & Just King 🤴

With A Circle Of His Most Trusted Knights

A Legendary Wizard 🧙‍♂️

& A Magical Sword 🗡

In A Distant Part Of The Land

A Young Girl 👧 Who Is The Daughter Of The Knights Of The King's Most Trusted Men Who Will Grow Up In Years To Come & Seek Out Her Destiny Of Becoming A Knight

& Back At The Kingdom , A Young Blind Boy Dreams Of Becoming A Knight As Well In The Years To Come. Despite His Ability To Not See

Soon These 2 Brave Young Souls

Will Embark On A Most Magical Quest Unlike Any Other

For The Magical Sword Known as EXCALIBUR🗡

HAS BEEN STOLEN

BY A DARK KNIGHT KNOWN AS SIR RUBER

AND HE WANTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE POWER OF EXCALIBUR 🗡

& RULE ALL OF

CAMELOT

BUT IN ORDER TO DO SO

HE MUST 1ST GET RID OF

THE GREAT KING OF CAMELOT

THE 1 & ONLY

KING ARTHUR 🤴 👑

NOW THE TIME HAS COME FOR OUR UNSUNG HEROES TO GO ON THE QUEST FOR THE SEARCH FOR EXCALIBUR IS UPON THEM

ON THEIR ADVENTURE.

THEY WILL ENCOUNTER.

CREATURES OF MIGHT & FRIGHT

ALLIES OF THE MAGICAL REALM

DAZZLING SIGHTS & WONDERS AS

THE ROAD AHEAD TO CAMELOT

AWAITS THEM

BUT THEY MUST HURRY

FOR THE STONE HAS BEEN CORRPUTED BY DARK MAGIC

& IF THEY DONT RETURN SOON WITH THE SWORD 🗡

SIR RUBER WILL HAVE HIS VENGEANCE.

IT'S UP TO THE HEROES TO PREPARE

FOR

THEIR

QUEST

FOR

CAMELOT

EXPERIENCE THE MOST SPECTACULAR ANIMATED MUSICAL FILM 🎥 OF THE WARNER BROS FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT

JOIN THE ADVENTURE

WITNESS THE WONDER

SHARE THE ROMANCE

WARNER BROS FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS

QUEST FOR CAMELOT 🛡👑🗡🧙‍♂️👦👧🐲

HAPPY BELATED 25TH ANNIVERSARY TO

WARNER BROS PICTURES

QUEST FOR CAMELOT

#QuestForCamelot #Camelot #KingArthur #WarnerBrosFamilyEntertainment #LeannRimes #StevePerry #CelineDion #TheCorrs #BryanWhite

#Quest For Camelot #Spotify

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wakemewitch · 5 months

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"like ivory and flesh and flowers, and sudden snow, and falls of black velvet."

—Vera Chapman, The King’s Damosel

#vera chapman #the king's damosel #quest for camelot #quote

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toss-a-coin-to-your-bard · 2 years

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orchid, abelia, sage, aloe vera, please and thank you :)

Hi yes hello Poe! See when you asked me these questions, I had to ponder them and now you got a whole lot of words to read through hihi

ily loads

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?

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Tracy Chapmans Fast Car is a masterpiece of combining storytelling and melody with the instruments. It's timeless in the emotions it evokes and conveys and one of my favorite objective perfect songs atm. Jolene and Bohemian Rhapsody are top tier also.

But personally a song also needs to punch me in the heart, free my emotions in a way they can rearrange themselves anew. AURORA has three songs that gut punch me in the tear-jerker way atm.

There's the Mahogany Session of Boy In The Grass that I cannot listen to often because the background of the song makes it so much more emotional.

The second is a live version of Through The Eyes Of A Child which is the most bittersweet thing. I will tear up every time.

The third one is a live version of Murder Song she sang at 19(?)yo and is hauntingly beautiful

My subjective answer today will be It Happened Quiet by AURORA

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And probably those two tomorrow

abelia ⇢ do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with?

I have started to wear a plain silver ring on my pinky and a slim silver chain (that once was a necklace to hand trinkets on I reckon?) on my wrist but not always.

My late great grandmother (mother of my late grandmother) gifted me a necklace and matching cuff bracelet she probably got on one her trips to the US (visiting her firstborn daughter in Phoenix, AZ) and my mum thinks it's probably a Native American work because of the art on the necklace. As my great grandma usually gave me money this is the only jewelry I refuse to part with even tho I have never worn it.

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

Poetry and music play a big part in my life. Of all the music that I adore the most loved is always also poetry, just given a melodious form. Rilke is my absolut favorite poem writer (Hesse a close second). I will get emotional over his poems and only indulge in reading his poems sometimes.

When im emotionally unwell you will see it in my nonexistent music listening habits, when im really excited about something I cannot stop the weirdest songs from getting stuck in my head and when im especially happy I hum happily while doing other things. I played the alto saxophone for half of my childhood/teenage years and even tho it lays dormant atm this is a passion that gives my life zest and has shaped me.

Its a special treat for me to get to see paintings and statues in museums (my mum once gifted me with a trip to the van Gogh museum in Amsterdam for my birthday and it was such a well-thought-out gift! I loved it.) I always get inspired by and filled with the biggest emotions when I can see the world through other people's eyes and their creative lense.

But.

Books are my not-so-secret passion since I learned how to read (and even before). I've learned many a life lesson from books and later fics gave me the language and right pointers on how to think about my own queerness. In some ways, literature saved my life. I will forever be grateful. In ten years this answer could as well lean more toward music but rn? Books.

(tao is not forgotten. I love them. It's kinda scary how much of myself I can see in them. I will definitely come back them)

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

Having someone who I can be my favorite self around/with - possibly even living with them?

Waking up to laughter and soft smiles.

Having a garden, a dog, friends who live nearby so I can make dinner and cakes for them whenever.

My sorrows being outweighed by the daily, small happy memories that make life so precious.

#i talk #asked and answered #hi yes hello #ily poe #poe my beloved #this post was brought to you by #the formatting on my phone #I nearly lost my patience with the mobile app #and yet #it got done lmao #Poe I hope I didn't ramble too much #but i think #that was the point #right?#hi hi hi

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daydreamxr17 · 8 months

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Locklyle future

#lucy and lockwood #lockwood netflix #locklyle #anthony lockwood #lockwood and co #the screaming staircase #jonathan stroud #ruby stokes #cameron chapman #patrick wilson #vera farmiga #the nun #the conjuring #ed warren #lorraine warren #ed and lorraine warren #lored

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p-isforpoetry · 1 year

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Tam O'Shanter by Robert Burns (read by James Cosmo)

When chapmen billies leave the street, And drouthy neibors, neibors meet, As market days are wearing late, An' folk begin to tak the gate; While we sit bousing at the nappy, And getting fou and unco happy, We think na on the lang Scots miles, The mosses, waters, slaps, and styles, That lie between us and our hame, Where sits our sulky sullen dame. Gathering her brows like gathering storm, Nursing her wrath to keep it warm.

This truth fand honest Tam o' Shanter, As he frae Ayr ae night did canter, (Auld Ayr, wham ne'er a town surpasses For honest men and bonie lasses.)

O Tam! had'st thou but been sae wise, As ta'en thy ain wife Kate's advice! She tauld thee weel thou was a skellum, A blethering, blustering, drunken blellum; That frae November till October, Ae market-day thou was nae sober; That ilka melder, wi' the miller, Thou sat as lang as thou had siller; That every naig was ca'd a shoe on, The smith and thee gat roaring fou on; That at the Lord's house, even on Sunday, Thou drank wi' Kirkton Jean till Monday. She prophesied that late or soon, Thou would be found deep drown'd in Doon; Or catch'd wi' warlocks in the mirk, By Alloway's auld haunted kirk.

Ah, gentle dames! it gars me greet, To think how mony counsels sweet, How mony lengthen'd, sage advices, The husband frae the wife despises!

But to our tale:-- Ae market-night, Tam had got planted unco right; Fast by an ingle, bleezing finely, Wi' reaming swats, that drank divinely And at his elbow, Souter Johnny, His ancient, trusty, drouthy crony; Tam lo'ed him like a vera brither-- They had been fou for weeks thegither! The night drave on wi' sangs and clatter And ay the ale was growing better: The landlady and Tam grew gracious, wi' favours secret,sweet and precious The Souter tauld his queerest stories; The landlord's laugh was ready chorus: The storm without might rair and rustle, Tam did na mind the storm a whistle.

Care, mad to see a man sae happy, E'en drown'd himsel' amang the nappy! As bees flee hame wi' lades o' treasure, The minutes wing'd their way wi' pleasure: Kings may be blest, but Tam was glorious. O'er a' the ills o' life victorious!

But pleasures are like poppies spread, You seize the flower, its bloom is shed; Or like the snow falls in the river, A moment white--then melts for ever; Or like the borealis race, That flit ere you can point their place; Or like the rainbow's lovely form Evanishing amid the storm.-- Nae man can tether time or tide; The hour approaches Tam maun ride; That hour, o' night's black arch the key-stane, That dreary hour he mounts his beast in; And sic a night he taks the road in As ne'er poor sinner was abroad in.

The wind blew as 'twad blawn its last; The rattling showers rose on the blast; The speedy gleams the darkness swallow'd Loud, deep, and lang, the thunder bellow'd: That night, a child might understand, The Deil had business on his hand.

Weel mounted on his gray mare, Meg-- A better never lifted leg-- Tam skelpit on thro' dub and mire; Despisin' wind and rain and fire. Whiles holding fast his gude blue bonnet; Whiles crooning o'er some auld Scots sonnet; Whiles glowring round wi' prudent cares, Lest bogles catch him unawares: Kirk-Alloway was drawing nigh, Whare ghaists and houlets nightly cry.

By this time he was cross the ford, Whare, in the snaw, the chapman smoor'd; And past the birks and meikle stane, Whare drunken Chairlie brak 's neck-bane; And thro' the whins, and by the cairn, Whare hunters fand the murder'd bairn; And near the thorn, aboon the well, Whare Mungo's mither hang'd hersel'.-- Before him Doon pours all his floods; The doubling storm roars thro' the woods; The lightnings flash from pole to pole; Near and more near the thunders roll: When, glimmering thro' the groaning trees, Kirk-Alloway seem'd in a bleeze; Thro' ilka bore the beams were glancing; And loud resounded mirth and dancing.

Inspiring bold John Barleycorn! What dangers thou canst make us scorn! Wi' tippeny, we fear nae evil; Wi' usquabae, we'll face the devil!-- The swats sae ream'd in Tammie's noddle, Fair play, he car'd na deils a boddle. But Maggie stood, right sair astonish'd, Till, by the heel and hand admonish'd, She ventured forward on the light; And, vow! Tam saw an unco sight

Warlocks and witches in a dance; Nae cotillion brent-new frae France, But hornpipes, jigs strathspeys, and reels, Put life and mettle in their heels. A winnock-bunker in the east, There sat auld Nick, in shape o' beast; A towzie tyke, black, grim, and large, To gie them music was his charge: He scre'd the pipes and gart them skirl, Till roof and rafters a' did dirl.-- Coffins stood round, like open presses, That shaw'd the dead in their last dresses; And by some develish cantraip slight, Each in its cauld hand held a light.-- By which heroic Tam was able To note upon the haly table, A murders's banes in gibbet-airns; Twa span-lang, wee, unchristen'd bairns; A thief, new-cutted frae a rape, Wi' his last gasp his gab did gape; Five tomahawks, wi blude red-rusted; Five scymitars, wi' murder crusted; A garter, which a babe had strangled; A knife, a father's throat had mangled, Whom his ain son o' life bereft, The gray hairs yet stack to the heft; Wi' mair o' horrible and awfu', Which even to name was be unlawfu'. Three lawyers' tongues, turn'd inside out, Wi' lies seam'd like a beggar's clout; Three priests' hearts, rotten, black as muck, Lay stinking, vile in every neuk.

As Tammie glowr'd, amaz'd, and curious, The mirth and fun grew fast and furious; The piper loud and louder blew; The dancers quick and quicker flew; They reel'd, they set, they cross'd, they cleekit, Till ilka carlin swat and reekit, And coost her duddies to the wark, And linket at it in her sark!

Now Tam, O Tam! had thae been queans, A' plump and strapping in their teens, Their sarks, instead o' creeshie flannen, Been snaw-white seventeen hunder linnen! Thir breeks o' mine, my only pair, That ance were plush, o' gude blue hair, I wad hae gi'en them off my hurdies, For ae blink o' the bonie burdies!

But wither'd beldams, auld and droll, Rigwoodie hags wad spean a foal, Louping and flinging on a crummock, I wonder did na turn thy stomach!

But Tam kend what was what fu' brawlie: There was ae winsome wench and waulie, That night enlisted in the core, Lang after ken'd on Carrick shore; (For mony a beast to dead she shot, And perish'd mony a bonie boat, And shook baith meikle corn and bear, And kept the country-side in fear.) Her cutty-sark, o' Paisley harn That while a lassie she had worn, In longitude tho' sorely scanty, It was her best, and she was vauntie,- Ah! little ken'd thy reverend grannie, That sark she coft for her wee Nannie, Wi' twa pund Scots, ('twas a' her riches), Wad ever grac'd a dance of witches!

But here my Muse her wing maun cour; Sic flights are far beyond her pow'r; To sing how Nannie lap and flang, (A souple jade she was, and strang), And how Tam stood, like ane bewitch'd, And thought his very een enrich'd; Even Satan glowr'd, and fidg'd fu' fain, And hotch'd and blew wi' might and main; Till first ae caper, syne anither, Tam tint his reason a' thegither, And roars out, "Weel done, Cutty-sark!" And in an instant all was dark: And scarcely had he Maggie rallied, When out the hellish legion sallied.

As bees bizz out wi' angry fyke, When plundering herds assail their byke; As open pussie's mortal foes, When, pop! she starts before their nose; As eager runs the market-crowd, When "Catch the thief!" resounds aloud; So Maggie runs, the witches follow, Wi' mony an eldritch skriech and hollo.

Ah, Tam! ah, Tam! thou'll get thy fairin'! In hell they'll roast thee like a herrin'! In vain thy Kate awaits thy commin'! Kate soon will be a woefu' woman! Now, do thy speedy utmost, Meg, And win the key-stane o' the brig; There at them thou thy tail may toss, A running stream they dare na cross. But ere the key-stane she could make, The fient a tail she had to shake! For Nannie, far before the rest, Hard upon noble Maggie prest, And flew at Tam wi' furious ettle; But little wist she Maggie's mettle - Ae spring brought off her master hale, But left behind her ain gray tail; The carlin claught her by the rump, And left poor Maggie scarce a stump.

No, wha this tale o' truth shall read, Ilk man and mother's son take heed; Whene'er to drink you are inclin'd, Or cutty-sarks run in your mind, Think! ye may buy joys o'er dear - Remember Tam o' Shanter's mare.

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Tam o' Shanter (Translation)

When the peddler people leave the streets, And thirsty neighbours, neighbours meet; As market days are wearing late, And folk begin to take the road home, While we sit boozing strong ale, And getting drunk and very happy, We don’t think of the long Scots miles, The marshes, waters, steps and stiles, That lie between us and our home, Where sits our sulky, sullen dame (wife), Gathering her brows like a gathering storm, Nursing her wrath, to keep it warm.

This truth finds honest Tam o' Shanter, As he from Ayr one night did canter; Old Ayr, which never a town surpasses, For honest men and bonny lasses.

Oh Tam, had you but been so wise, As to have taken your own wife Kate’s advice! She told you well you were a waster, A rambling, blustering, drunken boaster, That from November until October, Each market day you were not sober; During each milling period with the miller, You sat as long as you had money, For every horse he put a shoe on, The blacksmith and you got roaring drunk on; That at the Lords House, even on Sunday, You drank with Kirkton Jean till Monday. She prophesied, that, late or soon, You would be found deep drowned in Doon, Or caught by warlocks in the murk, By Alloway’s old haunted church.

Ah, gentle ladies, it makes me cry, To think how many counsels sweet, How much long and wise advice The husband from the wife despises!

But to our tale :- One market night, Tam was seated just right, Next to a fireplace, blazing finely, With creamy ales, that drank divinely; And at his elbow, Cobbler Johnny, His ancient, trusted, thirsty crony; Tom loved him like a very brother, They had been drunk for weeks together. The night drove on with songs and clatter, And every ale was tasting better; The landlady and Tam grew gracious, With secret favours, sweet and precious; The cobbler told his queerest stories; The landlord’s laugh was ready chorus: Outside, the storm might roar and rustle, Tam did not mind the storm a whistle.

Care, mad to see a man so happy, Even drowned himself in ale. As bees fly home with loads of treasure, The minutes winged their way with pleasure: Kings may be blessed, but Tam was glorious, Over all the ills of life victorious.

But pleasures are like poppies spread: You seize the flower, its bloom is shed; Or like the snow fall on the river, A moment white - then melts forever, Or like the Aurora Borealis rays, That move before you can point to their place; Or like the rainbow’s lovely form, Vanishing amid the storm. No man can tether time or tide, The hour approaches Tom must ride: That hour, of night’s black arch - the key-stone, That dreary hour he mounts his beast in And such a night he takes to the road in As never a poor sinner had been out in.

The wind blew as if it had blown its last; The rattling showers rose on the blast; The speedy gleams the darkness swallowed, Loud, deep and long the thunder bellowed: That night, a child might understand, The Devil had business on his hand.

Well mounted on his grey mare, Meg. A better never lifted leg, Tom, raced on through mud and mire, Despising wind and rain and fire; Whilst holding fast his good blue bonnet, While crooning over some old Scots sonnet, Whilst glowering round with prudent care, Lest ghosts catch him unaware: Alloway’s Church was drawing near, Where ghosts and owls nightly cry.

By this time he was across the ford, Where in the snow the pedlar got smothered; And past the birch trees and the huge stone, Where drunken Charlie broke his neck bone; And through the thorns, and past the monument, Where hunters found the murdered child; And near the thorn, above the well, Where Mungo’s mother hanged herself. Before him the river Doon pours all his floods; The doubling storm roars throught the woods; The lightnings flashes from pole to pole; Nearer and more near the thunder rolls; When, glimmering through the groaning trees, Alloway’s Church seemed in a blaze, Through every gap , light beams were glancing, And loud resounded mirth and dancing.

Inspiring, bold John Barleycorn! (whisky) What dangers you can make us scorn! With ale, we fear no evil; With whisky, we’ll face the Devil! The ales so swam in Tam’s head, Fair play, he didn’t care a farthing for devils. But Maggie stood, right sore astonished, Till, by the heel and hand admonished, She ventured forward on the light; And, vow! Tom saw an incredible sight!

Warlocks and witches in a dance: No cotillion, brand new from France, But hornpipes, jigs, strathspeys, and reels, Put life and mettle in their heels. In a window alcove in the east, There sat Old Nick, in shape of beast; A shaggy dog, black, grim, and large, To give them music was his charge: He screwed the pipes and made them squeal, Till roof and rafters all did ring. Coffins stood round, like open presses, That showed the dead in their last dresses; And, by some devilish magic sleight, Each in its cold hand held a light: By which heroic Tom was able To note upon the holy table, A murderer’s bones, in gibbet-irons; Two span-long, small, unchristened babies; A thief just cut from his hanging rope - With his last gasp his mouth did gape; Five tomahawks with blood red-rusted; Five scimitars with murder crusted; A garter with which a baby had strangled; A knife a father’s throat had mangled - Whom his own son of life bereft - The grey-hairs yet stack to the shaft; With more o' horrible and awful, Which even to name would be unlawful. Three Lawyers’ tongues, turned inside out, Sown with lies like a beggar’s cloth - Three Priests’ hearts, rotten, black as muck Lay stinking, vile, in every nook.

As Thomas glowered, amazed, and curious, The mirth and fun grew fast and furious; The piper loud and louder blew, The dancers quick and quicker flew, They reeled, they set, they crossed, they linked, Till every witch sweated and smelled, And cast her ragged clothes to the floor, And danced deftly at it in her underskirts!

Now Tam, O Tam! had these been young girls, All plump and strapping in their teens! Their underskirts, instead of greasy flannel, Been snow-white seventeen hundred linen! - The trousers of mine, my only pair, That once were plush, of good blue hair, I would have given them off my buttocks For one blink of those pretty girls !

But withered hags, old and droll, Ugly enough to suckle a foal, Leaping and flinging on a stick, Its a wonder it didn’t turn your stomach!

But Tam knew what was what well enough: There was one winsome, jolly wench, That night enlisted in the core, Long after known on Carrick shore (For many a beast to dead she shot, And perished many a bonnie boat, And shook both much corn and barley, And kept the country-side in fear.) Her short underskirt, o’ Paisley cloth, That while a young lass she had worn, In longitude though very limited, It was her best, and she was proud. . . Ah! little knew your reverend grandmother, That underskirt she bought for her little grandaughter, With two Scots pounds (it was all her riches), Would ever graced a dance of witches!

But here my tale must stoop and bow, Such words are far beyond her power; To sing how Nannie leaped and kicked (A supple youth she was, and strong); And how Tom stood like one bewitched, And thought his very eyes enriched; Even Satan glowered, and fidgeted full of lust, And jerked and blew with might and main; Till first one caper, then another, Tom lost his reason all together, And roars out: ‘ Well done, short skirt! ’ And in an instant all was dark; And scarcely had he Maggie rallied, When out the hellish legion sallied.

As bees buzz out with angry wrath, When plundering herds assail their hive; As a wild hare’s mortal foes, When, pop! she starts running before their nose; As eager runs the market-crowd, When ‘ Catch the thief! ’ resounds aloud: So Maggie runs, the witches follow, With many an unearthly scream and holler.

Ah, Tom! Ah, Tom! You will get what's coming! In hell they will roast you like a herring! In vain your Kate awaits your coming ! Kate soon will be a woeful woman! Now, do your speedy utmost, Meg, And beat them to the key-stone of the bridge; There, you may toss your tale at them, A running stream they dare not cross! But before the key-stone she could make, She had to shake a tail at the fiend; For Nannie, far before the rest, Hard upon noble Maggie pressed, And flew at Tam with furious aim; But little knew she Maggie’s mettle! One spring brought off her master whole, But left behind her own grey tail: The witch caught her by the rump, And left poor Maggie scarce a stump.

Now, who this tale of truth shall read, Each man, and mother’s son, take heed: Whenever to drink you are inclined, Or short skirts run in your mind, Think! you may buy joys over dear: Remember Tam o’ Shanter’s mare.

#Tam O'Shanter #Robert Burns #poem #poetry #video #James Cosmo #Youtube

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