#very small fandoms are the worse yet also the best

[fulfillingbineeds]

Patiently waiting for more misfits content on Tumblr from the 8 or so active members of the fandom (Including myself)

[silence-burns]

The Death of Me //part 1

Fandom: Aquaman

Summary: (very small spoilers for the movie) Finding Orm on your doorstep was not something you expected. Having him move in was even worse. But the effect he still had on every part of your life would be the death of you.

The sun was blinding, but unfortunately, not enough to make the man standing before you disappear.

“You're in surprisingly good shape for a dead person,” you said.

“And you look terrible for someone supposedly alive,” said Orm.

You shrugged and immediately regretted it. The tight bandages keeping your shoulder in place worked as a poor reminder it was out of commission for the next few weeks.

“How I've missed that princely charm. Piss me off some more and, half-dead or not, I'm gonna kick your ass back into that desert I got it from. It might be the last thing I do, but if I become a ghost, I'll brag about it for eternity.”

Your mood soured further with every minute you remained conscious. Surprises and resurrections, you could deal with, but your ability to be polite left long ago. There were a lot of impolite and certainly unprincely words bubbling in your chest, but they all disappeared when the most magical, impossible, and straight-out-of-fairy-tales thing happened.

Orm, of his own volition, smiled.

The sun was still doing its best to blind your already red and swollen eyes—it failed yet again. You examined the strange occurrence, with the furrowed brows and all the small wrinkles and tiny folds in the skin that usually accompanied a person’s smile looking perfectly normal on his face. It was a genuine smile. You could only blink at him for a moment

“I thought scowling was the only expression you had. Like a factory setting, you know.”

“I'm glad to hear you are as sharp as ever, despite your current shortcomings.”

“Excuse you, I'm in great shape.”

The man in front of you politely didn't argue. It was rather clear from his expression that he had some serious doubts about not only the state of your body, but also about your mental capacity of acknowledging said state, but he made the wise choice of keeping these thoughts to himself.

Wise was your middle name; therefore, you allowed the silence to confirm your words. At the same time, you shifted more of your weight against the doorframe, hoping your grimace came across as menacing rather than painful. Your leg needed a bit of rest, nothing serious. It totally wasn’t almost crushed to pieces a few weeks ago.

The smile on Orm’s face, an expression you could get used to seeing, started to shift into a look of concern as he watched your eyes. You looked away, afraid of how much he could see. Before you could react, he picked you up and carried you inside the house.

It was a pretty house, very spacious, just like old rich men tended to enjoy—which might explain why Batman bought it a long time ago as a safehouse far from any prying eyes, and why he allowed you to occasionally use it as such.

Yet, despite all the initial spaciousness, it was rather easy to clutter if the person living inside had a few cracked bones, general lack of energy to move, and never invited anyone around to see the mess.

Orm raised an eyebrow when he noticed a sofa dragged into the kitchen area and the amount of empty, crushed packaging laying around it. You hated how much could be expressed without saying a word.

“Put me down.”

Your words came out weaker than intended. Orm held you in a bridal carry which put immense pressure on your cracked ribs and sent flashes of pain every time you inhaled. But he was so warm and close that your anger sizzled and faded.

With your head on his shoulder, you had the perfect view of his perfect profile and the perfect frown deepening the wrinkles between his brows.

“So, this is how you live now?” was all he said, in a controlled tone.

“I know you're not deaf and heard me the first time. Put me down. Preferably on my beautiful and completely normal kitchen bed, thank you.”

You sighed with relief once he finally listened. Even though the pressure of his arms around you disappeared, somehow you still felt his warmth, as if it seeped into your battered, bruised flesh. You felt your face getting hot and decided against following that train of thought.

Your heart, for a reason you also chose to ignore, skipped a beat when Orm turned on his heel and walked back to the front door. It took him comparatively less time than when you had to drag your ass to open it a few minutes ago.

But rather than walking outside and disappearing from your life again, Orm only closed the door. And then turned the lock too.

“I don’t like where this is going,” you said, in vain hope that all of this was just a bad dream you'd soon wake up from.

“What a shame,” Orm said with no shame whatsoever in his voice.

“Why are you here? I might be a little late with that question, but I'd still love to know the answer.”

Orm took measured steps to the kitchen table, assessing the seat with the least amount of trash surrounding it, and sat down. He sat upright, posture uncompromised in the face of a backless stool, and folded his hands on the table. How he looked royal surrounded by trash and cold leftovers was beyond you.

“As you have witnessed, thanks to Arthur, after that final battle I got a way out of my old life. I enjoyed it for the most part, and even wandered the surface world for a while. And then I heard about your accident and came to settle my debts.”

“You don't have a debt to me.”

“When I was awaiting sentencing for my crimes, you were the one that took care of me. And not so long ago, you helped Artur break me out of that prison. That alone guarantees my utmost respect.”

“Your debt is paid, you owe me nothing.”

“That's not how it works.”

“I don't need a nurse, especially one who isn’t wearing a sexy costume.”

“I'm afraid that part is not negotiable.”

“Wait.” You squinted, doing your best to focus your thoughts despite a rising migraine. “This cottage is in the middle of nowhere, with the nearest town a few hours on foot and only if you already know the way. And the only people that knew I got… a little roughed up, were those in the Justice League. Did Artur give you a ride here because he felt guilty he didn’t stop that building in Venice from falling on me?”

“Every day I am thankful that I don't know the inner workings of my brother’s mind.”

“So he did.”

You let your head fall back onto the makeshift kitchen-bed. It was too much for you.

You grabbed the pills from your secret under-the-pillow stash of meds and swallowed some painkillers.

“I'm going to kill your brother.”

“May you have more luck than I did. Now, do you even own any clean clothes?”

[nights-at-crystarium]

As a twitter/tumblr user since 2010-2011, I believe I have sufficient grounds to say that currently we as a community are living through the scariest, shittiest time yet. This post isn’t trying to fearmonger, no I’m not leaving tumblr until it literally keels over, but I suggest that we don’t put all our eggs in one basket.

If twitter/tumblr stay usable, great! In the worse scenario, you’d have kept posting on a new platform and stayed ahead of the curve.

This post shares my personal experience with three potential “new”* fandom places, and is aimed to help fellow content creators. I’m an artist fully depending on internet to survive, my reasoning may not apply to you if you’re a hobbyist. Do your own research, it’s always healthy. * Pillowfort and mastodon have been around for 5+ years, bluesky is ~2 years old.

Discovering new people to follow kinda sucks on all three platforms, twitter and tumblr are eons ahead, but, given the recent chaos and uncertainty, I’m willing to be patient, keep posting on those, and feel safer than I would’ve otherwise been. More baskets good, one basket bad.

All three have poor visual customization, don’t expect custom tumblr themes.

This list starts with the least popular, but most human and easy to join, and what I personally trust the most. All three allow nsfw if labeled properly.

✦ Pillowfort is a barebones tumblr. Intuitive, cozy, but currently very, very small. Be patient with its clunkiness or lack of some features, it’s made by an AO3-like team. I’d personally love if the fandom crowd managed to redirect its attention to it instead of the sus bluesky.

Joining: is free, invite-only, but the waitlist is nearly instant.

Lurk around on their official tumblr: @/pillowfort-social

✦ Mastodon, for me personally, is impossible to explain directly. I’ll use several comparisons.

- Discord but all servers can interact. You’re still on a server curated by some human(s) that might tell you what you can and can’t post, BUT, if you don’t like that server’s policy, you can move to a new one while keeping your followers. - Email, users A and B may be registered on different domains, still they can talk. It’s a weird comparison, but fediverse (please I’m not explaining THAT but it’s a good thing) in general looks like another email story: unlike big sites that come and go, it might stand the test of time. - Someone compared mastodon’s structure to xiv’s dc and servers, if you look at its domain names that way, it might be easier to understand.

Depending on user, mastodon may feel gatekeepy/snowflakey. I haven’t spent enough time on there to form a proper opinion yet, but a warning’s due.

An actually good and hopeful thing about mastodon AND tumblr: the two might start interacting in future. Ever lamented that your fav asian artists don’t use tumblr? If they use misskey, or any other place on the fediverse, it might be possible to follow them directly from tumblr in future, and vice versa.

Joining: is free, however some servers close for new members sometimes, and have human moderators reviewing your request.

✦ Bluesky is a twitter without Musk: today’s average internet user reads this, drops everything and already looks to register there. It’s still sus, but people flock to it like crazy. Most likely to become the next big fandom place in my eyes, even if I’m not happy about that.

I personally have no good feelings about bluesky. Same as twitter, which I hated even before the 2018 tumblr exodus, yet the crowd decided to make it The New Fandom Place, and, grudgingly, I had to give up and also join them in 2022. During the year I haven’t stopped despising twitter, yet, I can’t deny that it helped me survive. I estimate half of my patrons, and, hell, even tumblr audience, comes from twitter. So, if bluesky ends up being the next hot shit, I’ll have to keep up because internet pays for my living.

Joining: is free but hell, invite-only, the waitlist is a lie, your best chance to join is a direct invite.

This’s all I’ve got to say for now. If you have a correction or an addition, replies/reblogs are welcome!

Screenshots of the current interfaces under the cut, you may spy on my profiles o/

Pillowfort

Mastodon.art

Bluesky

[autumnscribbles]

lost | c.b

summary: you convince colby to finally let you join an adventure, but what was supposed to be a fun night takes a wrong turn.

word count: 1.9k

warnings: none really? 

a/n: my first colby imagine!!! i absolutely loved writing this and getting back into the fandom so i hope y’all like it! feel free to send more requests :) it ended up being pretty long and probably not my best work but it was so fun anyway!! hope you enjoy lemme know! 

                                                           ~

“Pleeeeease can I come babe?” you begged, pouting as you stood in front of Colby as he was packing his camping equipment.

“Y/n I really don’t want anything to happen to you,” he sighed. “It could be dangerous.”

“I’ll be fine!” you reassured him. “I’ve gone camping lots of times, plus I’ll be with the pros.”

“Yeah man, let her come!” Sam piped up from behind you. You turned around and grinned at him, knowing that he would be on your side.

“Fine,” Colby sighed, planting a kiss on the tip of your nose. “Only because I can’t say no to that face.”

-

You felt a mix of nervousness and excitement as Colby pulled over the car, ready to go set up your camp site. It was also your first time in a Sam and Colby video, and you were excited to have this new experience documented so well.

You guys all began pulling the camping equipment out of the trunk. Thankfully, it was still light outside so you weren’t feeling too spooked yet. You had never had a paranormal encounter yourself but after being with Colby for so long, you couldn’t quite say you didn’t believe in it. You felt yourself feeling jumpy at every small sound, and the boys found it quite amusing.

“Guys, as you can see, Y/n is not used to being in haunted forests,” Sam laughed, pointing the camera at you. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” you laughed. “Once I get into the swing of things I’m gonna be tougher than all of you.”

The boys laughed as you began to walk down the narrow path to try and find a good place to set up camp. The boys pointed out a nice area and you all began setting up the tents. You had to admit, you weren’t the best at it, so the boys did most of the work. Once they had set the tents up, you crawled into yours and placed down the sleeping bags, pillows, and backpacks you brought.

“Are you sure you don’t want to all sleep in the same tent, Sam?” you asked.

“Depends how scared I get,” he chuckled. “But if you hear me crawling into your tent in the middle of the night, you’ll know why.”

Once you had set up camp, you guys decided to explore the forest a little. It was starting to get dark, and you felt the eeriness hovering around you. You jumped slightly as you heard a low, growling noise.

“Did you hear that?” you asked, eyes widening.

“Yeah,” Colby chuckled nervously. “Was that an animal or a person?”

“I don’t know what’s worse,” you laughed. “Let’s keep going, didn’t you guys say there’s a cabin in these woods somewhere?”

“Yeah, I’m not sure where it is relative to where we’re standing now though,” Sam replied, looking around as if that would give him a clue.

You walked around the forest for a while, but decided you’d save searching for the cabin another day since you currently didn’t know where it was and it was getting dark. Eventually, you made your way back to the tents and decided to take it easy the rest of the night.

You lay in the tent, Colby’s arm wrapped around you, your hood pulled up over your head to keep warm.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “Not too scared?”

“I’m fine,” you smiled. “It hasn’t been too scary yet minus a few weird noises we’ve heard while walking around.”

“We’ll keep you safe,” he smiled, pressing his lips to yours gently. “Try to get some sleep, we have a big day tomorrow.”

You nodded as you curled into him, trying to warm up. The nights felt very cold in the tent, but luckily for you Colby was a great heater when you were cold. You tried not to focus too hard on every little sound around you, and eventually dozed off.

You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing. You jumped slightly, rummaging for it beside you. By the time you found it, the ringing stopped. It was probably nothing. As you tried to go back to sleep, you felt like you needed to pee. You sighed, pulling your shoes on to leave the tent. You felt nervous, and debated waking Colby up, but decided against it. You weren’t going to go far, and it would only take a minute.

You unzipped the tent quietly, walking off just past the tents to go to the bathroom, when you heard a sound beside you. You looked over, not seeing anything in the pitch black. You heard a whisper, and approaching sounds of leaves and branches cracking. You tried to call for Colby, but your voice was only a whisper. When you felt something graze your arm, you took off running. You didn’t have time to scream, or call for Colby or Sam, your instincts told you to just run as fast as you possibly can.

You were out of breath and finally slowed down, but now you had absolutely no idea where you were. Your adrenaline was so high, that you didn’t even take a mental note of how to get back to the camp site. You pulled out your phone, turning the flashlight on to hopefully find the main path again. You felt terrified. You jumped at every small noise, scared that whatever touched you would come back. You started to wonder if there was anything at all, or if your fear made things up. You felt a tear slide down your cheek, feeling stupid. Why didn’t you just wake up Colby? Why didn’t you scream instead of taking off? What if you never got back?

You tried screaming their names, but you had no idea how far you were. If they could even hear you, especially if they were asleep. Your phone didn’t have service now, despite the strange phone call from earlier. You wanted to be strong, so you started walking, hoping to god you weren’t going even further from the boys.

-

Colby jolted awake, unsure what it was that stirred him from his surprisingly peaceful sleep. When he reached over to cuddle you, he was met with nothing but your empty sleeping bag.

“Y/n?” he whispered.

He put on his shoes and got out of the sleeping bag, hoping he’d find you nearby. When he didn’t see you, his heart began racing, his breathing quickening.

“Sam?” he called, running over to his tent and beginning to unzip it.

“What’s going on?” Sam mumbled, still half asleep.

“Y/n’s gone,” Colby said, the back of his throat stinging with the sobs threatening to escape him.

“What do you mean she’s gone?” Same asked, suddenly completely awake and alert, grabbing his flashlight and turning it on.

“I-I don’t know. I woke up and she wasn’t beside me and she’s gone,” Colby rambled. “We need to find her.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Sam whispered. “We’ll find her. Let’s get some of your stuff and we’ll try to follow the path.”

They began screaming your name as loud as they could, hoping you could hear them and weren’t too far. They didn’t care about anything haunted anymore, all they cared about was finding you.

“Dude what if we don’t find her?” Colby asked, beginning to panic. “I can’t let anything happen to her.”

“We’re going to find her,” Sam said confidently. “We just need to keep looking, she couldn’t have gone too far I don’t think.”

-

Your pace began slowing, the exhaustion taking over you. You hadn’t made any progress from the looks of it. You were starting to give up. You were dehydrated, cold, and pure exhausted.

You fell to your knees, putting your head in your hands as you sobbed.

“Colby!!!” you screamed at the top of your lungs. “Please!”

Your wails turned silent, utter defeat consuming your body. There was no way you could find your way back in the dark like this. Your extreme and utter panic had faded. Your adrenaline had depleted, and you felt your eyes fluttering shut as you rested your head on the cold, damp, floor.

-

“Colby!!!” a faint scream said in the distance.

“That was her!” Colby screamed. “Y/n!!!! I’m coming!!!”

The boys began running towards where they heard the sound. It was faint, but they heard it. They must have been somewhat going in the right direction.

They continued calling your name, Colby wiping tears from his face as he continued to move forward. He couldn’t give up. He wouldn’t. Not until he knew you were safe.

After what felt like hours of walking, Sam came to a halt. 

“Colby...” he whispered, his flashlight aimed towards a form on the ground. It looked like a human...it looked like you.

“Y/n!” Colby screamed, sprinting over to you and shaking you. The worst case scenario briefly flitted through his mind as he waited for you to open your eyes.

Your eyes fluttered open, meeting Colby’s in the glow of the flashlight. It instantly woke you up again.

“COLBY!” you screamed, jumping up and wrapping your arms around him, instantly breaking into sobs.

“Oh my god, you’re okay,” he cried as he held you as tight as he ever had. 

“You found me,” you whispered. “I thought I was going to die out here.”

“Of course I found you,” he said, stroking the back of your head. “What happened? How did you get so far?”

“I-I got up to pee and I heard something. Then I felt something touch me and I just started running. I didn’t even think,” you explained, tears streaming down your face. “I was so scared, Colby.”

“You’re okay, baby,” he whispered as he rubbed your back. Sam sat next to you, wrapping his arms around you, too.

You felt so grateful for both of them. They didn’t give up on you when you gave up on yourself. You felt overwhelmed by love not only for Colby, but for Sam too.

“I think we should go home,” Colby said. “We can come back another time.”

“No!” you exclaimed. “This was supposed to be a fun adventure, let’s not ruin it because of this. I’m fine, really.”

“Babe, I don’t think we should-,” he started.

“Really, Colby,” you smiled, placing your hand on his cheek. “Let’s make this the most epic adventure ever.”

“Okay,” Colby agreed. “But promise you’ll wake me up if you have to leave the tent for anything, okay?”

“Promise,” you smiled, kissing him gently.

The three of you walked back to the campsite, hand in hand, finally feeling calm. You had the scare of your life, but you were happy to be back and safe with the boys. Sam decided to sleep in your tent, which made you laugh because you knew it would happen eventually.

Tomorrow was a new day, and what was a ghost hunting adventure without fearing for your life? You thought sarcastically.

You lied down between the two boys, pulling the sleeping bag up to your chin.

“I’m happy to be here with you,” you said. “Even though in that moment I wanted to be anywhere else.”

“You’re gonna give me a heart attack one of these days, girl,” Colby chuckled, pulling you closer to him.

He wasn’t going to let you out of his sight from now on, and you couldn’t be happier or feel more safe.

[fairyvearths]

3 times you try (and fail) to kiss luffy and the 1 time he kisses you

FANDOM: one piece WORD COUNT: 5, 300+ PAIRING: monkey d. luffy x reader WARNINGS: none, for the most part. a hint of jealousy, but it’s very small.

NOTE: hello @hawkix, i am your secret santa for the @onepiece-blorboexchange​. i hope this piece is to your liking. merry christmas, and happy holidays 🎄🎁 also cross-posted on archive

one

“You’re best friends with Luffy, right?”

Zoro is sleeping—or at least, trying to. With how rambunctious the crew is right now, and the way the ship rocks on the waves, it’s pretty easy to assume that the man is still awake. That, and, you had seen his brows flinch slightly when your shadow fell over his face.

But still, he pretends.

Fine.

You kick him.

Zoro catches your ankle before you make contact with his leg. “Oi,” he snaps.

You flail for balance, a squeal sticking in your throat as your centre of gravity tilts.

Zoro pulls you as you fall and you crash on your side.

“Ow,” you say, mostly for show, because your arm had cushioned your landing and you’ve been through much worse than this. Zoro knows it too.

“Quit being a baby,” he grouses, shifting himself up higher on the railing now that he’s officially awoken from his nap. “The Hell were you thinking, trying to kick me?”

You roll onto your back. “You were ignoring me.”

“I was trying to sleep.”

“But you weren’t, yet.”

“Yeah—yet. I was getting there.”

“So you just ignored me?” You bat your arm in his general direction. “What if it was an emergency?”

“It wasn’t.”

“You don’t care about me.”

“The Hell?”

You giggle because he didn’t say, ‘Yeah, of course I don’t’ and that’s a win if you’ve ever encountered one. “You don’t,” you sigh, carpeting the floor with your faux misery. “I could die and you woul—”

“Shut up.” Zoro actually jabs you in the arm with the hilt of one of his swords.

“Hey!”

“You didn’t hit your head when you fell, right?”

You scoff, mirthful shock coating your words, “Are you calling me stupid?”

“No—I mean, I made sure you didn’t hit your head when you fell.”

It takes a while for his words to click in your brain, and when it does—Oh. You turn your head to look at him, cheek pressing into the hardwood floors. “Why can’t you just say you care about me like someone who isn’t emotionally constipated?”

Zoro scowls, crossing his arms across his chest and looking away like he’s a four-year-old child throwing a tantrum. “Is this what you woke me up for?” he grumbles.

You want to keep ribbing him, but you understand that Zoro is being defensive, so you take his cue and reroute the conversation. “No, actually—I wanted to ask you a favour.”

He turns back, scepticism raising his brows. “About Luffy?”

You open your mouth to ask how he knows, but you realise you had asked about your captain when you approached Zoro. “So you did ignore me,” you gasp, slightly maybe a lot offended.

“Yeah, of course I did—I was trying to sleep!” he shoots back.

It’s your turn to cross your arms over your chest and cast your gaze to the sky. “I can’t believe you.”

Zoro clicks his tongue before tapping your leg lightly with his foot. “What’d you need help with?”

“Nah,” you push out with a breath, “I don’t want your help anymore.”

“Fine,” Zoro says, yawning. “Go somewhere else—I’m trying to sleep.”

You slap his knee. “Oi.”

“What do you need, then?”

“I wanna kiss Luffy.”

A beat. Then, “And you’re telling me, because?”

“Because, Zoro,” you say, turning to face him again, “last time I tried, you called his attention to a Sea King and ran off with him.”

Zoro snorts. “So, go kiss him now.” He jerks his chin towards the deck where he, Usopp and Chopper are gathered. “He’s not busy.”

“It’s not that simple,” you intone, stretching out your words. “I can’t just do it out of nowhere, it has to be proper and—”

“Oh, kill me now,” Zoro whispers in exasperation. He deflects another one of your attacks, knocking your hand out of its trajectory. “If you wanted romantic, you should’ve gone to the Cook.”

“But he’s your best friend,” you reiterate. “You know him better than anyone here.”

Zoro sighs, long-sufferingly. “Have you tried talking to him?” he asks, tired.

“No?” Bewilderment laces your tone, falling in a heavy heap on the ground. “I’m not telling Luffy I want to kiss him.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s weird; I can’t just tell him, I just gotta do it.”

“Then do it—He’s right there.” Once again, he gestures towards your captain, as if you’re not already hyperaware of his presence.

“Not like that,” you hiss.

“Oh, my God,” Zoro grumbles. “Stop being difficult.”

“I’m not! I just need to you to help me—”

“I’m trying! You keep dismissing my solutions. It’s so easy, here, look—Luffy!”

Your heart jumps into your throat as Zoro hollers, and you leap forward to cover his mouth. You misjudge the distance, punching him in the cheek instead.

“What the fuck?” Zoro rears his head back, slapping your hand away.

“Shit, I’m so sorry—” You retract your offending limb, covering your mouth in shock. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, didn’t hurt,” he says, and you can tell he’s not just saying it to make you feel better. The man’s been through so much worse, and you both know it. “Just, what the fuck, though?”

“I didn’t mean to,” you lament. “I just—You yelled, and I was trying to stop you, but I—”

“What’s up?”

You didn’t scream.

You didn’t.

You just, got startled. Because it was Luffy. And he came out of nowhere. And if Zoro or Luffy said you screamed… well.

They don’t know what they’re talking about.

You whip around, heart hammering in your throat because you were just talking about kissing Luffy, and now the man is here, squatting in front of you, and you don’t know how much he may have overheard. “Nothing!” Your voice comes out high and nervous.

“Fucking—” Zoro sighs, nudging you towards Luffy with his calf because in your scramble to shut Zoro up, you’d landed on his leg. “Can you just ki—”

You’re more successful this time, shouting over the top of his words and slapping a hand to his mouth. “What the Hell is wrong with y—Ow!” You wrench your hand away at a sharp sting on your palm. “Did you just bite me?” At Zoro’s deadpan stare, you furrow your brows. “What kinda feral—?”

Behind you, Luffy laughs; so loud and carefree that your heart stutters in your chest.

You think you might pass out, but you turn to look at your captain because his joy is always a sight to behold.

“Wow,” Zoro muses aloud, “you are down ba—”

You jerk your elbow into Zoro’s stomach, cutting off his words. “Shut up!” you hiss.

“What were you guys talking about?” Luffy asks again when he settles down.

“Nothing,” you repeat, voice calmer.

Zoro rolls his eyes. “Really?”

“Except for the fact that Zoro is being a butthead,” you say pointedly.

“Butthead?” the butthead echoes.

“Ah.” Luffy nods sagely. “That sounds like Zoro.”

“Oi!”

You giggle, watching as Zoro grabs a sword and jolts the hilt towards Luffy’s face.

Luffy grabs the hilt to deflect it, but when Zoro pulls his weapon back, Luffy careens forward.

“Ah!” The shout is more from surprise than anything, Luffy’s knee colliding with your shin as he practically falls on you.

“Shit,” Zoro breathes.

“Oh.” Luffy scrambles himself off your leg. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you dismiss his concern. “That actually didn’t hurt, I’m fine.” You’re hefting yourself up with your elbows, expecting Luffy to move out of your way.

But he doesn’t.

And now you’ve almost pushed yourself up against his chest.

And he’s looking at you so earnestly your cheeks are flushing. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he presses.

You nod, throat thick. Body warm. Your eyes dart down to his lips. The urge to kiss him rises tenfold. Maybe you could just do it. No fancy situation, no set up. Just… this. With him hovering over you because it just happened that way. Staring at you with concern swimming in his pupils.

“So, can I go now?” Zoro pipes up from behind you.

You startle, bumping a shoulder into Luffy’s chin.

Luffy recoils, effectively severing the moment.

“I am so sorry!” you gasp, reaching out to cradle his head. “Oh God, are you okay?”

Luffy nods in your hands, chuckling lightly. “’M fine.”

“Zoro, you can’t just do that!” you hiss at him.

“I have been here the whole time,” he deadpans. “But it seems I’ve done my job, so I’m gonna g—”

Luffy tilts his head. “What job?”

“Nothing!” you yell before Zoro can answer, letting go of Luffy like you’ve been burnt. “Nothing.” You slide out from between the two of them and clamber to your feet. “You take your nap,” you say to Zoro, “and you can go back to—” You signal towards Usopp and Chopper, “playing, I don’t know.” You smile at Luffy even though you don’t really feel it. “I’ll go.” You depart before the two of them can say anything to you.

“You were too much of a butthead,” Luffy says in a low enough voice that you know he’s not talking to you.

There’s the sound of something hard hitting something fleshy.

“How’s this my fault?” Zoro retaliates.

You duck into your room before you can hear if their banter escalates to sparring.

two

There’s a stabbing pain in your side, but you ignore it in favour of running across the rubble—or at least, try to. The sharp ache is all encompassing, and you’re pretty sure you’re bleeding out as well.

But right now, it’s of no matter.

What is of matter, though, is the fact that Luffy is on the other side of this debris, and you need to get to him.

You crest the peak and start down the slope towards the ground, towards your captain wobbling on his feet, bruised and ruffled. “Luffy!”

He turns when you call out to him, face lighting up when he catches sight of you.

You’re practically tripping over your own feet to make it over to him, teeth gritting at the jabs that lance through your ribs.

He crashes into your body when you enter his personal space, your legs faltering under the unanticipated weight.

You catch yourself on your knees, holding in the gasp that wants to escape because him jarring into you didn’t help. You wrap your arms beneath his shoulders to keep him up. “Hey,” you breathe out, chest releasing some of the air that had been trapped in there at the thought of your captain in peril. “You okay?” You’re frantically pawing at his face, thumbs swiping at the blood and cuts.

Luffy nods, a soft smile pulling at his lips. “’M good,” he manages to answer around you pulling on his skin. “Are you?”

“Yeah.” Satisfied with your inspection—his wounds are shallow and will heal up at a rate that still shocks you—relief pools into your stomach. “We’re good, we won.”

He furrows his brows, eyes scanning your face before they rest down your body. “You’re hurt,” he states.

“It’s fine.” You shake your head, hiding a wince because, yeah, it does hurt, but you don’t want him to fuss over you when he looks like this. “I’ll be fine.”

“You’re bleeding,” he reiterates, cupping a hand over your wound.

“Ah!” You shrink away from his touch, unbalancing both you and him because he had been essentially leaning on you for support.

Luffy circles his arm around you, righting you before you topple backwards, taking him down too. “You’re hurt,” he repeats, voice soft.

You stare at him, face so close to yours that you can see his eyelashes. You’re so pressed up against him that you feel him breathing on your chest, every rise and fall in tandem with yours.

His heart is beating quickly—or maybe it’s yours.

It probably is yours.

He’s so close to you, and your brain feels like mush; lightheaded and echoey. Your ears thunder with the sound of your own heart. Your breaths catch in your chest.

“We should get you to Chopper,” he murmurs. He looks behind you, over the debris, where the rest of the crew should be.

A part of your brain knows it’s urgent, but the other part can’t stop staring at his lips as he speaks. “Luffy,” you utter.

He snaps his focus back to you, gaze darting between your eyes. “What?”

You shift your weight onto his, and he takes it easily, tightening his arm around you. You can feel your breath blow back on your face with how hard you’re breathing onto Luffy’s. Your head fills more and more with cotton as you careen towards his lips.

You black out before you make it.

three

After the fiasco of employing Zoro’s assistance, you decide that he actually isn’t much help at all. So the next best thing is to go to Robin. Because she’s clever, and smart.

You sit her down in the quiet of the aquarium and tell her about your dilemma, and about Zoro’s ridiculous suggestion of ‘just asking Luffy,’ and how nothing you’ve tried has worked.

She laughs at the end of your recollection, a soft thing that she hides in her palm before standing up. “Come with me,” she says.

You follow her, recognising the walk to the library as you’re halfway there.

She settles you down at the table before disappearing between some shelves, to, presumably, find a book. When she returns, a light in her eye, you know she’s found something good. “It’s Christmas soon,” she says as though it’s a suggestion.

“Okay?” you ask, bemused. 

She chuckles softly, rifling through the pages to find the spread she wants and places it on the desk, tilting it so it’s upright for you to read. “Mistletoe.”

You look down at the page, a drawing of said plant on display. “Uh-huh.”

“It’s tradition,” she begins, “for people to kiss when they’re caught under a mistletoe together.”

You glance up at her. “Oh. So, we just have to get some mistletoe,” you say. The plan sounds easy enough.

But.

“Where, exactly, are we gonna get some mistletoe?”

“Next time we stop by an island, I suppose,” she muses quietly. “It’s a Christmas tradition,” she elaborates, “so at this time of year, people will be selling these everywhere.”

“Great—thank you.” You already feel much better about her advice than you did with Zoro’s. You lift the page between your fingers, pulling the paper. 

Arms sprout from the table, clutching at your wrist.

“What,” Robin says, a harsh lilt to her tone, “are you doing?”

“I just need to know what it looks like.”

“You’ve seen what it looks like,” she continues in the same voice.

“Yeah, but I’m not gonna remember it once we get to an island.”

“So, you decide to vandalise my book?”

“I’m not vandali—Ow, ow!” You let go of the page as she tightens her hold around you. “Okay, I made a mistake,” you cry.

The arms disappear. “I’ll buy it for you,” she resumes the conversation like nothing happened. “You can find some place to put it afterwards.”

You feel like you got whiplashed. “Okay,” you whisper, confused. “Thank you?”

It’s another three days before the ship docks at a small island, and Robin comes back with two sprigs of mistletoe. She hands one to you, keeping the other ‘just in case.’ You don’t really know what that means, but at this point, you know well enough to just leave her and her property alone.

“Where’s a good place to put this?” you ask, dangling the twig between your fingers.

“Where would Luffy spend most of his time?”

You sigh. 

You burst into the kitchen, having checked through the windows to make sure it was devoid of your captain first.

Sanji looks up at your sudden entrance, scraping carrots into a bowl. “Dinner’s almost ready,” he informs you absently. He returns to cutting the vegetables. “Probably start cooking in ten minutes.”

“That’s not why I’m here.”

That piques his interest, the blond looking up again. “What’s up?” he asks, attention now more evenly split between the food prep and you.

“I…” You glance out the windows, as though talking about Luffy would summon him. “Need your help with something.”

“Mine?”

“Yeah.” You approach the counter where he’s working, sitting on a stool opposite him. “I need to put this,” you lift the sprig higher so he can see, “somewhere in here.”

Sanji stares at the plant. “Mistletoe?”

“Yes, see.” You tell him about Robin’s ingenious plan to help you kiss Luffy. And how Sanji knows the kitchen better than anyone, and knows where Luffy lingers the most.

Sanji lets out a sharp breath of amusement through his nose. “Okay.”

“Great! Just—not now. Christmas is in five days, so—”

“I got it,” Sanji says. “Keep it safe ‘til then.”

“Exactly, thank you!”

The following week is busy; the crew gathering to decorate the Sunny, and making quick stops onshore to find gifts for one another. Between draping garland and wrapping presents, you find yourself migrating to the kitchen a lot.

It’s not that you don’t trust Sanji.

But.

This is really important to you, and you don’t know if he’ll prioritise it the same. You make sure the mistletoe is still alive and fresh. Hidden somewhere out of sight and not easily disposed of if someone else were to help out in the kitchen. Most days, you volunteer yourself to assist, just so you know another crew member won’t find it, and then no embarrassing explanation would have to ensue.

It’s easier that way.

“Good morning,” Sanji greets, already anticipating your arrival with a cup of tea.

“Hey.” You take a sip before putting the beverage down. “Is—”

“Yep,” he says, already taking out the tin from the cupboard and sliding it across the countertop to you. “Same place as it was last night, when you checked. And the time before that, and before that too. And—”

“Alright,” you snap, no heat in your tone. “I’m just…” You shrug, at a loss for why you feel so obsessive over a piece of tree.

“Nervous?”

You sigh. “Yeah.”

Sanji pushes the tea over to your hands, and you smile at him. “How about, no more looking at it today.”

You frown. “I don’t think that’s gonna help.”

“Did looking at it help?”

You close the lid and pass it back to him. “No,” you admit quietly.

“I don’t think you’re stressed about the mistletoe disappearing,” Sanji says, voice incredibly soft as he addresses you.

You hum, tapping your fingers on the sides of the cup. “I just… want it to work.” Because if it doesn’t…

If it doesn’t…

That’s not something you want to think about.

“It will.” And he says it with so much certainty that for a second, you believe it too.

You don’t check up on the mistletoe for the rest of the day, but you do still help out in the kitchen.

You’re staring at the counter, where you know the mistletoe is. You know it’s there. You saw it this morning. Sanji let you put it back in there before closing the cupboard and declaring that place off-limits to you. And no one else had come in, other than to eat, and that was over here by the dining tables, not over there.

There’s still a gnawing feeling in your stomach, but you haven’t seen it. So, what if? What if someone came through, looking for something else, and in their search, saw it and took it?

“Are you okay?”

You blink back to the present, snippets of conversation tuning back into focus like a radio. Right. Dinner with the crew. Everyone’s here, eating and having fun. 

Sanji is peering at you from across the table, waiting for your answer.

“Yeah,” you say. “Just—distracted.” You look back down to your plate, surprised to find that nothing’s been taken from it.

“Do you want to check it?”

You purse your lips in thought. It would help.

But.

“No.” You shake your head. “I’ve already gone most of the day, right?” you say. “No point caving now.”

“If you’re sure,” Sanji relents. At your nod, he sighs. “Can you just eat something?”

You stick your spoon into the rice.

A chicken drumstick is placed on your plate, and when you follow the hand attached to it, you realise it belongs to Luffy, sitting on the far end of the table.

“You look sad,” he calls across, retracting his arm.

“I’m fine,” you dismiss his concern, turning back to your food. “Thanks.”

The rest of the crew watches, astounded at their captain’s generosity, and your lack of response.

When Christmas finally arrives, you’re not sure how you feel. Yes, it’s Christmas, so you’re excited. But that means putting up the mistletoe and finally bringing your plan to fruition. And that part, you’re more reluctant about.

You’re the first one in the kitchen aside from Sanji, and he looks up, smiling at you.

“Door,” he says.

You turn, watching it close. “What?”

“The mistletoe,” he reiterates. “Put it up last night.”

“Oh!” With the new information, you tilt your head back. It sways gently from the door’s motions. “That’s the best place for it?”

“Luffy comes and goes upwards of twenty times a day.” Sanji sounds sure of himself. “If there’s any place that he frequents a lot, it’s that door.”

“Thanks, Sanji,” you say, beelining for the tea he’s left for you on the counter.

Sanji starts to crack eggs into a mixing bowl, and you stare at your drink. “How are you feeling?”

You shrug. “Still nervous, but… not much else I can do about it.”

“Just.” He takes a whisk from the drawer. “Don’t think about it too much.”

Scoffing, you take a sip of your tea. “I really don’t think there’s anything else for me to think about, right now.”

“What do you want for breakfast?” he asks.

“Whatever you’re making,” you say absently, “I don’t mind.” You’re two-thirds of the way through your drink when you speak again. “What if it doesn’t go right?”

“How?”

“Like, what if…?” You swallow something thick. “What if he doesn’t want to kiss me? Then I’ve just—”

Luffy crashes through the door, startling you out of your conversation with Sanji. He scans the kitchen, face lighting up when he makes eye contact with you, bounding over. “What are you doing in here?” he asks, plopping himself down in the chair you’re standing next to.

“Nothing,” you deflect, because you don’t really want to tell him that you were lamenting to Sanji about whether he’d kiss you or not. But your answer is suspicious too, so you retract your earlier statement with what you hope is a carefree shrug.

(It’s not.)

“I was helping out with food and stuff.” You turn to the eggs already beaten laid out in front of Sanji. Shit.

Luffy hums, a slight dejection to the note. “Come outside,” he says instead.

You pause, trying to think of an excuse. “But we gotta make breakfast, then there’s the big Christmas dinn—”

“But I miss you,” he says, frowning.

Oh.

“We donʼt hang out much, anymore.”

You blink, gulping your dangerously loud heart back into your chest. It’s suddenly warm in the kitchen even though the ovens and stoves are off. “Okay,” you croak.

Luffy beams at you, and your breath sweeps away. He grabs your hand to lead you out, and your palm feels clammy in his.

As you’re leaving, Sanji clears his throat.

Luffy stops, turning around. “What?” he asks.

You turn too, a murderous glare pointed at the blond. Shut the fuck up, you will towards him.

Sanji flickers his gaze over your heads.

“What?” Luffy repeats.

“Nothing,” you say quickly, trying to step further onto the deck to steer him out of the kitchen.

Luffy purses his lips, standing his ground. He’s always been stronger than you, so your attempts to move him are rendered futile because he’s not cooperating. “No, I wanna know,” he presses. There’s a pout to his lips, and you can’t help but think he looks cute like this.

“It’s just.” You swallow thickly, tilting your head up to look at the top of the door frame.

Luffy follows your eyes, zeroing in on the lone green tendril hanging off the door. “Ah,” he says.

You watch him, trepidation drying your tongue.

“Why’d Sanji put food in such a weird place?”

“What?”

He shoots his arm towards it, clutching the plant in his hands—leaves and all.

And shoves it in his mouth.

“No!”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sanji yells, vaulting over the counter. He grabs Luffy by the back of the neck. “Spit it out!”

“Luffy, that was mistletoe,” you say when you’ve gotten over the initial shock. Your hands are hovering over him, wanting to help but not sure how because Sanji is already there, and you’d only be in the way.

“So?” he manages to say around Sanji trying to pull his mouth open.

“Mistletoe is poisonous, you dumbass!” Sanji growls, realising that it’s already been swallowed. “We need to get you to Chopper.”

“But I feel fine,” Luffy protests.

You usher your captain out the door, heartbeat reverberating loudly in your throat. “No, please just—C’mon.” You walk around Luffy when you’ve exited the kitchen, pulling on his hand to lead him to the infirmary. You look at Sanji over Luffy’s shoulder. “You go…” You gesture back inside the kitchen. “I got this.”

“You sure?” Sanji asks.

You nod. “There’s a lot to do for today.” You turn back around, glancing at the rest of the deck. “Chopper!” you call out to him when you see the reindeer with Usopp and Nami.

Chopper darts his head up, looking at you. “Yeah?”

“We need you in here!” you say, pointing your thumb back towards the door of the doctor’s office.

There’s clambering as Chopper disregards his prior activities—unwrapping presents, judging by the colours on the floor—to run over. “What happened?” he asks when he’s closer.

“I ate something,” Luffy says when you open the door. “Sanji said it was poisonous.”

“Mistletoe,” you interject before Chopper can panic too much. You stand to the side, letting them in first.

“Mistletoe?” Chopper repeats.

“It’s… a long story.” 

plus one

Chopper releases Luffy from the infirmary after coming to the conclusion that the captain’s run-in with Magellan has heightened his tolerance for poison. So eating a twig of mistletoe will do nothing more to him than upset his stomach, which should pass on its own.

After the little doctor confirms this, you breathe out a sigh of relief.

Luffy turns to you; a smile on his face, a comment on his tongue of how you’d been so worried over nothing, but—

You’re exiting the room, door shutting behind you.

“Hey!” Luffy scrambles off the bed, sidestepping Chopper with a quick ‘Thanks!’ before dashing outside to find you.

You’re faster than anticipated, halfway to the dorms.

But Luffy has abilities that you don’t, so he stretches his arms, hooking his palm around the mast to slingshot himself forward, landing in front of you with a grunt.

“Fuck!” you hiss, jumping backwards, eyes wild with his sudden appearance.

“Sorry!” Luffy is quick to placate you.

“What the Hell?”

“Didn’t mean to scare you—What’s wrong?” He interrupts himself with the question because thatʼs more important right now, and knowing how the two of you like to banter, you’d gloss over how you’re feeling in order to keep teasing him about startling you. 

“What?”

“There’s something wrong with you,” Luffy says, because he hasn’t been seeing much of you this past week, and he thought that maybe you just wanted time for yourself to recharge, but you were always in the kitchen with Sanji, instead of hanging out with him like you usually did, and that—

He pushes that aside.

Not important right now.

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” you say quietly.

“Yes, there is.” He’s insistent, knowing that whatever it is is bothering you.

“It’s just… I wanted to—” You sigh. “Nothing,” you dismiss. Then, “It’s stupid.”

“What’s stupid about it?”

You pause, thinking about his question. “I… don’t know.”

“So, it can’t be stupid.”

Your lips quirk up, a brief thing that lights up your face for a millisecond, but Luffy watches, enamoured, because he hasn’t seen it in so long.

“It’s…” You shrug, hesitation dancing across your features. You stare up at him, and he really wishes your eyes weren’t apprehensive.

“Tell me,” he presses gently.

“I want to kiss you.”

“Oh.” He suddenly finds it hard to breathe. “And that makes you upset?” The thought of that squeezes his chest.

“No, no! That doesn’t make me upset, it’s just, I’ve been trying to kiss you for the past month, but things would happen, and I couldn’t do it, and then we came up with this plan with the mistletoe, but you—”

He stretches his arms, wrapping them around your waist to pull you towards him. He leans down and seals his mouth over yours, effectively silencing you.

You gasp in surprise, but the noise is swallowed up, lips chasing after yours. He’s squeezing you to him, waist pulled in so close he can barely think straight.

You wrap your arms around his neck, urging him closer, and Luffy tilts his head, fingers breaching the hem of your shirt to caress your skin. You whimper, so delightfully desperate that Luffy pushes against you, tongue swiping across your bottom lip. 

He loves the noise—the neediness lacing your tone that he’s only ever heard you use towards him. Every time he’s been unimaginably close to you, he’d notice the way you’d stare at him, full of want and unadulterated longing that it fogs his brain and tightens his heart down to his stomach.

And how you’d whisper his name, like you did back in the forest, even though you were bleeding out. You were staring at his lips and he thought you were going to kiss him, and he realised that in that moment, he wanted to, too. And he would’ve. If you hadn’t passed out immediately after.

Then after he’d taken you to Chopper and you recovered, you pulled away, secluding yourself in the kitchen with Sanji, pretty much all day.

But, now.

Luffy gets to kiss you. He giggles into your mouth, something light bubbling away in his chest.

You pull away from him, breathing heavily. “Why did you do that?”

“Because you wanted to.”

“But did you want to?”

He thinks about you; his crewmate, nakama, friend. Someone he trusts with his life. Had gone through the biggest ups and downs of his life with you. Then he thinks about kissing you, of how many times he’d wanted to in the past, even before the forest. “Yeah.” And because he can, he pulls you in for another kiss, and he feels you smiling against his lips.

When you part this time, it’s his turn to ask a question. “Why didn’t you just kiss me when you wanted to?”

“Because it’s weird,” you say as if it’s common sense. “You can’t just kiss a friend out of nowhere.”

“But we’re not just friends. We’re… different.” 

“Different?” you echo.

“The way I feel about you, and us, it’s different from how I feel about the others. It’s just different with you.”

You swallow and Luffy watches your throat move. “So, you’re saying, I could have kissed you, at any time, in the past few months, and you would have been okay with it?”

Luffy nods. “Yep.”

You purse your lips. “Oh, dear Lord,” you mutter under your breath, “Zoro was right.”

“About what?”

“He said I should’ve just asked you—I thought he was being daft.”

Luffy laughs, and you smile up at him, drinking in the noise. “You’re silly.”

You nod, before double taking as you catch sight of something over his shoulder.

Luffy looks up too.

There’s another sprig of mistletoe dangling from under the mast, metres high above your head.

“Don’t,” you say, before Luffy can react, “eat it this time.”

[pawsometoons]

Edit: PLEASE LOOK AT, READ, AND REBLOG THE LINKED POST FIRST BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE

I know I usually don't post about stuff like this. But I'm spreading this over to Tumblr to make absolutely sure that everyone in the NiGHTS and Balan fandoms here know this information

I was a victim of Elfie's a while back last year. Both me and a close friend were victims.

At the time, neither of us knew things were this bad. But now I'm releived to know this information is out there and that server is gone for good. And hopefully, nobody will fall for her manipulation again.

CaptainElfie is also on tumblr. Make sure your steer clear of her and block her if you can.

I feel like, since I'm sharing this, I should also share me and my friend's part of the story

My friend doesnt have tumblr, but she is on Twitter (vibripple)

This was an incident from last year, but it's affected both of us pretty harshly. Especially Vib. Not to say we hadnt had a few questionable ordeals in the past. But I'm just going to explain what I can remember, since some of the information I've repressed for the sake of my mental stability.

For the small things, there were plenty of times where me and Vib didnt feel comfortable or safe in the server. Especially with us both being sex repulsed asexuals. Some of this behavior would be from other members of the server, which would never be pointed out or taken care of. And some of this behavior, Elfie had shown herself. Of course, she attempted to show that she cared about mine and Vib's boundaries. But she simply wasnt trying hard enough, since some other members still were pretty icky. Even in VRChat meetings too. Another thing being, both me and Vib had noticed, Elfie never acted very mature at all. She rarely ever took responsibility or tried to act civil in problematic situations.

And then theres the incident that was in the nail in the coffin for us both. It was just after the Monay vs. Fame vs. Love SPLATFEST in Splatoon 3. Both me and Vib were present in it, confident that we would win. Up until the end where Team Money won. Both me and Vib were devastated. Especially since we both associated the splatfest with a comfort character. And seeing we lost, it felt like we let said character down. Especially me. And though, of course, we were aware that yes it's a fictional character, but that didn't stop us from being upset. But elfie took things too far when she took an already bad day and made it absolutely worse. Elfie saw our behavior that day and our massive disappointment in the splatfest results and had the audacity to pull us both into a group chat with another member and act "worried" about our behavior. Again, we were just very upset at the loss of a splatfest that we were positive we were gonna win in, and again, associated with a comfort character. End of story. Or at least we wished it was. Then Elfie went even further to accuse both me AND Vib of being parasocial because of our behavior towards not only the splatfest, but our comfort characters too. Now, Vib has this thing, where she really likes Reala. I have this thing where I really like Judgement Boy. I call Judgement Boy my son, she calls Reala her bff. We BOTH are completely aware that they are both fictional characters and arent real, as much as we wish they were. And yet, here was Elfie, "worrying" about us like we're those tiktok teens who believe in quantum jumping or whatever it's called. We are both grown adults with of course one or two mental disabilities at best. But we are not that mentally ill. During this time, me and Vib could barely speak. We were both having straight up panic attacks on call may I mind you. And Elfie has the gall to try and force us onto VRChat to speak to her about this. In which neither of us had the energy or mental capacity to do at the time because, again, we were both having fully blown panic attacks. Both me and Vib have some pretty bad trauma when it comes to being confronted about things that arent true about us or thing we never even did. What makes this worse, is that I can say for almost everybody in that server, that they've had comfort characters aswell. HELL, there was one member who's status said things about being in love with Reala. Now I'm not against fictional crushes, or those who have F/Os and such. But for me and Vib, we had nothing close to that! Or at least not to that extent. Especially since Vib didnt even have a fictional crush on her comfort character. She saw Reala as a best friend. But again, being fully aware that Reala is a fictional character. So it was basically on the same lines, just not in the exact same way. And THAT user never got called out for it! THEY never got put on the spot in a private gc and being told they're parasocial for it! And all while this was happening, one of my partners, bless his soul, went out of his way to speak to Elfie for us. Which is when we found out that Elfie didnt care as much about us as we thought she did. She claimed that she didnt like our behavior despite us being some of the more normal users in that server, and even had the audacity to call some of our other close friends that we even had invited into the VRChat group gatherings as annoying. It was a whole mess that I regret having one of my partners get involved with, but I am forever grateful for him to have gotten that information for us. So after that incident, we began slowly distancing ourselves from the group and the server. Slowly started blocking people, leaving and blocking the vrchat group, and soon after, blocking Elfie and leaving the server for good.

Things didn't stop right away though. We still kept in touch with a few users who remained in the server, but at least accepted our decision to leave. Some have even stated that Elfie and some of the others "missed us" or "hoped we were okay" which neither of us believed for a second. Elfie herself even tried to pull in one of our close friends who she had as I stated prior, called him annoying. As he states, she said something along the lines of not knowing when she called him annoying and wanted him to join her server. In which, yeah, he didn't fall for that either.

Most of the other members of that server probably don't even know what happened that day. But if you're seeing this and remember us from that server.. well.. now you do.

But I do wish for everyone else who was in this situation aswell to heal. Their experiences should have to be heard too and not just mine. So many more people were hurt by Elfie than just me and you all should listen to them too.

[sister-lucifer]

Comfort From a Monster 

Eyeless Jack x Gender Neutral Reader

Genre: Angst, comfort, fluff

A/N: been goin through some stuff lately, so i wrote some fluff about it 

Summary: Your beloved Jack notices that you’re upset, and comforts you the best he can

Content/Warnings: Technically angst, but mostly comfort/fluff, cuddles with Jacky, the reason reader is upset is left vague so please feel free to project /gen, tooth rotting fluff, Jack is non verbal but makes animal noises and it’s CUTE ok

Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio (request rules + masterlist in pinned post)!

Also, please reblog! it’s free, takes two seconds, and really helps me out 

Feedback is encouraged and appreciated:)

Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors!

There had been something off about you since the moment your feet hit the floor that day. Jack was freakishly observant and incredibly intuitive; it wasn’t hard for him to pick up on your odd change in attitude. Even the most minuscule things caught his attention. 

You forgot to put on your house shoes when you got out of bed this morning, and it made your footsteps sound weird. You didn’t put back the cereal box after you were done, he had to put it up for you. You left your hairbrush out on the bathroom counter, but you always put it away when you were done. 

Small things. Mundane things. And yet, they piled up like snowflakes coming together to form an avalanche. 

His pointed ears perked up when he heard your bedroom door click shut. 

You never did that. 

Something was very, very wrong. 

Jack’s padded paws were silent on the wood floors of your shared cabin as he slowly approached your room. His tentative ears flicked about in all directions as he listened closely from the opposite side of the door. 

For a very long while there was silence, and for a split second Jack doubted his instincts. Maybe his suspicions were just an overreaction, maybe you were just having an off day… 

Maybe it’s best that he doesn’t bother you. 

Jack shrugs to himself, brushing off his worries. He turns on his heel and is about to walk away when— 

He hears that first little sob. 

It’s so quiet, it’s clear you’re trying to hide it. A sound so meek that only a creature like Jack could hear it. It stops him in his tracks, the only thing that could ever still such a hulking beast. He turns his head back towards the door slowly, all of his senses on high alert. 

The second choked noise is clearer, harder to stifle, loud enough for a nearby human to hear. It only gives way to another cry, and Jack can nearly pinpoint the exact moment you give up on holding back your emotions. Before he even realizes it he’s back at the door, ear pressed to the wood as he listens. There’s a split second where he thinks that maybe, just maybe he can hear your tears falling onto your blankets. 

For a moment he’s at a loss. Emotional support has never been his forte. He’ll gladly fight for you, hunt for you, protect you with his life, but comfort you? 

Even his best attempt would probably do more bad than good for your relationship. 

He ponders for a long few minutes, soundlessly pacing back and forth in front of your door. He hugs himself with a tight grip, claws digging into his upper arms through the fabric of his hoodie. His mind is racing as he wonders what to do. 

Should he simply leave you be? That could backfire easily. He didn’t want you to feel ignored, and he’d feel guilty about just leaving you to suffer on your own. 

But he what if he goes in and tries to help? He’s bound to screw that up. He could just make things awkward, or maybe even make you feel worse. 

How is he supposed to figure out what you need? He’s not a mind reader, and it’s not like he can just walk up and ask you! 

…Oh, he…he actually can do that. 

Jack could kick himself for his stupidity. The answer was staring him in the face. 

And yet, he hesitates when he lifts his fist to the door. He has to shake off that last bit of doubt before he can bring himself to knock. 

The sound makes you jump, and for a second you wonder if you simply imagined it. 

“J…Jack…?” You call out with a rasp. The animalistic chitter from the other side of the door answers your question.

“You can come in, Jack.” 

You quickly wipe your tears as he slowly creaks the door open, as if he’s giving you another chance to change your mind. When you don’t, he carefully shuts the door back behind him before approaching you where you sit snuggled up in countless blankets on your bed. 

A deep sound reverberates quietly in the back of his throat as he crouches by your side, head tilting curiously from side to side. He doesn’t say anything, but you know exactly what he’s asking. 

“I’m okay, Jack. Just some…personal stuff. I’m sorry if I made you worry.” 

Your voice is broken and strained, and it makes Jack’s brows furrow behind his mask. He lets out another inquisitive chitter, but you don’t quite understand this time, and it’s your turn to tilt your head in confusion. Jack’s clawed hands come up to briefly sign: 

‘Wanna talk about it?’ 

You think for a moment, then shake your head. 

“No, Jacky, I don’t think I want to talk about it. I appreciate it, though.” 

He nods, taking in the information and mulling it over a bit before he proposes something else: 

‘Can I touch you? Hug you?’

You scoot over a bit, patting the space on the bed next to you. 

“Yeah, thats okay. C’mon up, Jacky.” 

He quickly crawls in next to you, wrapping his strong arms around your smaller frame. His movements are cautious, slow enough that you could stop him if you wanted to. You don’t, though; you gladly accept the gesture and return the hug. 

Jack pulls you down to him, bringing you to lay down. He tenderly rubs up and down your arms in the most soothing manner he can manage. You sniffle a bit as you cling to his hoodie, tugging on the fabric. The feeling of the worn material against your palms is familiar and comforting in a way that nothing else has ever managed to be. The remaining tears finally fall down your cheeks, and you watch as they soak into the hoodie. 

You don’t realize that Jack has slipped his mask off until he’s purring into the crook of your neck. Your hand slides up to lay flat against his chest, and you can feel the soft rumble beneath his skin. Something about the sound sends a wave of calm through you, the volume crescendoing and quieting subtly as Jack breathes in and out. 

Slowly you find your own breathing leveling out as well, allowing yourself a few purposeful, deep inhales that enter through your nose and leave through your mouth. Jack’s hand moves from your arm to your back, scratching up and down slowly and being careful not to hurt you with his razor like nails. 

You pull away from Jack for a moment to slide down, resting your head against his chest and feeling the vibrations of his purr against your temple. You know he doesn’t have a heartbeat—not anymore—but you could almost swear you hear a few thumps behind his ribs. 

Your eyelids begin to flutter when Jack affectionately strokes the back of your head. His hands are so massive they nearly engulf your skull, and yet you can’t help but be reminded of how safe you feel in his arms. Every little thing he does reminds you.

The caution he uses with each move is subtle enough that only you would ever see it; it shows you that he knows his strength, and that he’d never risk hurting you in even a minor way. He’s not warm like a human would be, but he’s been more than effective at calming your shivering body. He smells like your freshly cleaned sheets and the pine trees surrounding your cabin in all directions, with a hint of the dirt that never seems to fully wash out. 

Small things. Mundane things. And yet, they spoke volumes of Jack’s feelings towards you. 

In the arms of no other would you ever feel so welcomed. 

You lay there together for such a long while that Jack doesn’t even realize you’ve fallen asleep until he looks down at you again. He’s not sure how long your eyes have been shut, but he can tell you’re sleeping well. You probably needed it. He wouldn’t be surprised if your stress was taking time from your rest. 

He adjusts his position just a bit, making sure he’s comfortable before deciding he may as well catch some shut eye too. He plants a lingering kiss on your forehead before tightening his hold on you just a bit, and before he falls asleep there is one last thought that rings in his mind: 

There was a time when he thought he’d never be able to have this. There was a time when he was convinced he would simply have to tough it out on his own until his last day. The idea that he ever believed such a thing is almost surreal as he lays here with you, his precious human, his mate. 

Jack could gladly spend the rest of his life in this quaint little cabin with you, and he wouldn’t hesitate to say he was perfectly fulfilled. 

[turbulentscrawl]

Identity(V) Headcanons: Luca Balsa

Next up!

Again, I am new to the IDV fandom, and I have never played the game, so these headcanons are informed by my ongoing lore dives sourcing the wiki, japanese twitter responses, comics, stageplay, and more! Some of these may relate to or even contradict character backstory, and some of them are just pure vibes for me. If you like it, consider shooting a request ;)

-So to start, I personally headcanon that Luca initiated the fight that led to the electrical accident. He’s always been hot-headed and impulsive, especially in regard to the source of his pride. I don’t think he intended for the confrontation with Alva to end anywhere near the way it did, but I do think he felt a good shove or two were well-warranted when he found out "his" ideas were being stolen. It’s when Alva fought back a little too viciously that the accident happened—and it well and truly was an accident. Not that it matters much when the only survivor doesn’t remember the event at all.

-He has headaches regularly, and terrible migraines at least once a week. He’s yet to find a way to relieve the migraines and, even worse, they are typically followed by an episode of more intense amnesia. Under normal circumstances, Luca’s memory problems are manageable. He doesn’t remember the accident, and there are massive blackouts in the memories beyond it, but on the average day he only struggles with small details of more recent events. During these post-migraine episodes, though, he completely loses all context for where he is, what he is doing, and who the people around him are. Most of the time, the important bits come back…but not always.

-Forgotten memories are also sometimes sporadically triggered by something mundane. A word, a texture, a sound, and suddenly he’s frozen stock-still in the face of a one-person cinematic viewing. By the time he turns to tell someone about it, though, the memory is gone again.

-To try to combat these issues, Luca keeps notebooks stashed everywhere. He writes down anything that might be important, as well as anything sentimental. The obvious issue with this, however, is that he doesn’t always remember where he keeps these notebooks.

-Despite his memory problems, his personality is largely in-tact. He maintains a lot of gentlemanly mannerisms and is cordial, if not outright friendly, to just about everyone he meets. Generally, he’s only “rude” in the sense that his attention tends to shift very abruptly.

-He’s the sort of person who appreciates variety. In people, food, scenery, just about everything. Part of why he gets along with so many people is because he can genuinely appreciate all manner of skillsets and hobbies. Likewise, to be a friend to him you only need to show appreciation for his work; understanding is not a requirement.

-It’s canon that he dislikes noise, but enjoys music. These might seem like clashing sentiments, but what it really comes down to is expected noise. Music can be relaxing, inspiring, rush-inducing! It holds your mind’s hand and hurries it along its thoughtful way. JUST noise is…chaotic, distracting, and sometimes startling. Plus, Luca likes being able to hum along while he works.

-It’s common to be static-zapped if you touch him. Long-term contact can even cause your hair to start standing on end. Unfortunately, it isn’t something he can control, so just be prepared to deal with it.

-The best Love Language to give Luca is Quality Time. He can honestly work with pretty much all of them, but Quality Time checks multiple boxes—especially if you’re good with parallel play. For one, he gets so busy with his work that it sometimes makes him feel guilty for neglecting the people he cares about. If you’re comfortable just hanging around his space, doing your own thing while he does his, it’s easier for him to check in with you between the erratic come-and-go of his thoughts. Those small bits of time add up, and he feels much better about his workaholic nature. Second, the more you permeate his memory, the less likely he feels he is to forget you. One of the few things he doesn’t struggle to remember is himself, his own name, and if you’re always there maybe it’ll be the same for you.

-He has trouble balancing his priorities. He often foregoes food, sleep, hygiene, and even his loved ones in favor of working on his invention. Sometimes he’s so absorbed in it that he doesn’t even understand the weight of hurtful decisions, but even when he does, he’d find it difficult to change.

-It’s also never impossible for the emotions that caused the accident to rear their head again. If someone were ever to intentionally sabotage Luca’s work or unapologetically steal his ideas, he may very well lash out with violence. Even if it were an accident, there’s no guarantee he wouldn’t be enraged.

-Luca has no idea what he’d do with himself if he ever did finish his invention. The guilt he feels for what may-have-happened is confused and warped, and he keeps it buried beneath his weighty obsession with the one thing he’s never forgotten…but if it were ever to be out of the way, Luca might be consumed by darkness.

[shihalyfie]

Why do people like Saban dubbing digimon but really hate 4kids for dubbing anime?

To be honest, I don't think that's quite the case. I think most people who tend to have apologia-level worship of the Saban Digimon dubs also have similar sentiments towards 4Kids dubs. It's "my childhood", so it's sacred and you're not allowed to say anything bad about it.

That said, it is true that 4Kids is the one usually thrown under the bus to blame for radical dub changes while Saban is treated as "comparatively loyal (for the time)". This is misleading at best. If it's loyal for the time, it's by a very small margin, and certainly not enough to claim that it's "practically the same" as the Japanese version as many do.

Saban's Digimon dub looks closer to the original because all of the surface elements supposedly look closer:

They kept almost all of the names in Japanese and only gave them "nicknames", unlike other dubs that changed the names radically! (Except they functionally never mentioned those "nicknames" again after the first time, and no matter how many letters each name may share in common with their Japanese versions, that doesn't change the fact they treated most Japanese names like hot potatoes because they sound too Japanese.)

They left the setting in Japan instead of making it a fictional American city! (Except they tried to do that until the number of Tokyo landmarks made it too recognizable, and it's still something they were able to get away with because the Digital World is prominent enough in the narrative for them to not worry about it too much.)

They didn't cut any episodes! (Probably the only one that does hold legitimate water in comparison to 4Kids actually cutting entire episodes at times, but one also has to consider that Digimon is a heavily serialized narrative where dropping an episode would create serious problems for the story, whereas you could get away with a dropped episode from 4Kids' longer properties with filler episodes since more of their shows were based on manga.)

They didn't make any huge changes to the overall plot! (Almost nobody watched Adventure or 02 for the plot alone, and it's only natural that slowly changing every single line to suggest completely different characterizations from their Japanese counterparts would have a massive effect, especially on 02 where it didn't have an extremely linear in-your-face plot that offset that to some degree -- and even then, Adventure wasn't completely immune, because it didn't stop Koushirou and Mimi's Japanese characterization changes from still remaining relatively unknown in the English-speaking fandom.)

"The Digimon (American) English dub didn't change that much" is the biggest lie the fandom will ever feed you, yet it still persists to this day because people will look at these surface factors and call it a day (and even worse, because this myth persists, fewer people will be inclined to check it out in Japanese and confirm whether this is actually true or not). It's never been about how many actual changes there were; it's about how many were noticeable. Few people talk about how there's actually a significant difference in how dub changes were handled the moment Disney took over (late Tamers to Savers), because it's hard to notice unless you actually have seen the Japanese version. Fusion gets treated like a laughingstock dub just because people were actually able to watch it in Japanese first and see how much got changed later; in terms of actual changes, it's not that much worse than Adventure or 02, it's just that it happened during a time it was less socially acceptable to do that.

So because of that, Saban is seen in the lens of a localization company that did its best to be "loyal" in a market where the 4Kids method of drastic changes were more dominant, when in fact they were aggressive about it in different ways (and you can see a very fair share of derogatory, dangerously-racist-leaning comments about Japanese media, writing style, and content from people who were involved in Digimon localization, so it's frankly kind of absurd to imagine they were doing all of this because they cared so much about loyalty to the origin). On the flip side, it is on record that a lot of 4Kids' radical changes were actually requested by the Japanese side itself, because they themselves wanted to push something that would be appealing to the American market, and 4Kids would sometimes go as aggressive as they did specifically because they got the Japanese licensor's blessing to go as hard as they wanted.

(I actually personally prefer 4Kids' original music and theme songs to the Digimon ones -- they come off to me as feeling like they have a lot more genuine spirit put into them -- but that's just my personal subjective opinion, and everyone has their own music tastes. Anyway, that's a digression.)

I personally don't think it's productive to be mad at the dubs themselves. This was all more than 20 years ago, the market was very different, the attitude towards localization was different, Japanese companies had their own varying stakes in the situation, and most importantly, what happened happened and I'm not going to blame kids for watching the only thing that was accessible to them at the time and developing an attachment to it. I don't think there's any point to speculating how Digimon would have been accepted in the US/UK/etc. if it hadn't been changed so radically, because the fact is, we don't live in that alternate timeline, so we won't get anything useful out of fixating on that idea too much.

The only thing I have negative feelings about regarding the American English Digimon dub is, simply, the way the fandom still talks about it. With things like Pokémon or One Piece or Yu-Gi-Oh, where everyone already understands that 4Kids made super drastic changes, if you say you're talking about the Japanese version because what you're discussing wasn't in the dub, people will easily believe you and acknowledge you're talking about something different, but if you try to claim the Adventure or 02 dub was different enough to merit a distinction, you get called nitpicky or accused of being delusional. This is what I really wish would stop. The dub was different! I know localization discourse loves to conflate "different" with "bad", so people don't want to admit that their childhood dub changed a lot, but it did! That's reality! Please don't make this more frustrating to talk about than it needs to be!

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

THE most obvious animation mistake in ATSV

We went from 3 spikes to 2 spikes.

Want to know something funny? I notice this in my first viewing.

(OP related an anecdote under the cut, nothing really important.)

Okay so fun story, I notice this the first time I watched this movie, like IMMEDIATELY.

I remember vividly about it because when I saw that three spikes I thought "Oof, that should be looking very awkward on the front."

I don't really draw often, but when I was a kid I had a bit of interest in fantasy outfits and such. I still have the most barebones knowledge on clothing and such, yet when I saw those spikes I thought it would dwarf Prowler's head and look awkward.

And just a few frames later- no third spike, it wasn't dwarfing his head anymore.

Full disclosure, I was stupid high when I saw the movie. Don't ask me why I thought it would be a good idea to see this movie high as fuck (let alone in my first viewing,) so I deadass thought I had somehow imagine it.

The fact that when I came out of the theatre and I saw NO ONE saying anything about it (not friends of mine or the internet,) also made me think this.

[Small addendum, because I imagine I may have minors looking at my blog: 1) Don't do anything until you are on whatever age is legal in your country, 2) I am in Canada so everything I consume is regulated and ergo, a lot safer than you can find on the street. 3) If you aren't 100% lucid in a public place, make sure you have people you trust and are sober around you, so nobody can take advantage of your situation.]

Eventually I saw the movie enough times to realize that no, I didn't imagine anything, it was indeed a mistake.

So why I never said anything?

Well...I was kind of protective about the movie.

At the beginning was me seeing on twitter and a bit of tiktok people being assholes about the diversity in the movie, and the idea that someone would look at the mistake I caught and try to be like "See?! The movie isn't that good! Look at this obvious mistake!" made me enraged.

Then, not so long after I started this blog, the truth about how overworked were the animators came to the light, and the idea of bringing up this mistake made me feel even worse because after all these people had been through, trying to be an smart ass to point out a mistake felt wrong. Specially because as I had said before, regardless of how many things I may or not Spot, this movie is amazing and I love it with all my heart; I didn't want to bring unnecessary grief to anyone.

So, why say anything now?

It has been a few months since it came out, I am starting to notice the fandom growing quieter (maybe it will pick up once this movie is out for free in a streaming service, no idea when or which one would be.) And I feel with all these talks about strikes (which the animators would probably do next year, wishing the best of luck for them,) fair pay and such, I think people may be more open to think "this wouldn't had happened if the movie hasn't been as rushed as it is" rather than "this is movie is bad because it has mistakes."

As I said it in other posts, this is a small mistake at the end of the day. Regardless of how you may or may not feel about these inconsistencies, people in general don't notice nor does interrupt their viewing experience.

This is a movie that juggles layers upon layers of themes, plot lines and deep, complicated characters; it does all the important bits than a lot of other movies out there. Which is what matters at the end.

[alemonyoyo]

No Country for Young Humans - Chapter 8.5

I am officially back at school, attending my final year of high school! I will be busy, chapters will come out very infrequently!

To tide you over, since I am exhausted, have this short little bit of actual PLOT!!! (IK not just North Star fluff, dw, that will come soon).

Also, I'm drifting a little from the UTY fandom (yeah, uh oh) but I definitely DON'T wanna abandon this fic!

Worse comes to worse, I'll finish it swiftly, and do my best to still make that entertaining. This is the longest fic I think I've ever wrote, most of my other stuff is oneshots!

Sorry about all that, hopefully you can enjoy this very short snippet of what's to come (maybe heh).

Missed the previous chapters? Check out the Masterlist!

Words: 552

Tags: GN Reader, Jealousy, Plot?

Summary: We shift to a new perspective as things unfold behind the scene.

Chapter 8.5 - A New Perspective:

There was a piercing sound in the air. It was faint, but persistent. Her ears, sharp as a dagger, picked up its sound all too well. As she fumbled with the equipment splayed out on the desk beneath her, she found her patience waning thin, the sound piercing into her skull, stabbing like the thick spears of the Royal Guard.

How could she let it get this far? How could she have been so stupid? She should have killed them right then and there when they walked into the Wild East, yet the look on his face; it healed all of her wounds, though only for a moment. She entertained this idea only to keep him happy, but it had been too long now to turn back.

Ceroba walked over to the vials of serum, each a pungent blue in colour, painfully standing out amongst the backdrop of muted greys. She had to do this. For Kanako. It was the only way to keep her alive.

Going through with this though, she thought, would ruin everything for him.

She had never felt so happy for him, the moment they admitted their feelings for him. That flustered look on their face, all bashful yet trusting in her company. They *trusted* her. Star trusted her. And she was going to throw that all away.

Finally, Starlo was going to feel the love she had always wanted him to experience, taken away from the years of torment she knew she put him through. She was happy then, and he was miserable. Now it was like night and day as she wallowed in a sea of misery. But he would be happy. He would finally be happy.

Ceroba clenched her fists tightly, walking over to the large, old TV. No- She can’t let this sway her. Surely Star would be happier knowing her child was safe and out of harm's way. Surely Star would be happier knowing she was happy? Surely she meant more to him? She pressed the small round button on the TV, knowing the tape was already loaded in the slot when she had last watched it. A sobering reminder of why she had to do this.

It wasn’t just for Kanako. It wasn’t just for Chujin. But for the fate of the world.

Well, that is what she told herself as she waited for the video to play, though she was only met with static. Ceroba smacked a pawed hand on the TV, growing impatient and frustrated as she sobbed out. This was too much! Too hard of a choice! Why was this her choice to make? Why couldn’t she have both? Why did they have to be human?

She ceased her abuse of the TV, instead pressing the eject button, waiting for the tape to shift out of the slot. She waited, the still ringing sound of the machines around her whirring in an annoying fashion. She heard the mechanics in the TV shift, the slot opening and pushing out the thick, heavy air. There was no tape, nothing at all.

She felt the hair on the back of her neck stand on end, reaching panicked hands into the slot, trying to slip down into the small slit. Empty.

Someone had taken Chujins tape which could only mean-

Someone knew.

***

“母？”

[aalyre]

I actually didn't view Kevin as a coward myself until recently. Seeing Nora say Neil wouldn't have left Jean at the Nest changed the way I saw Kevin. I don't think anything can change my mind now tbh.

Especially because in some ways, like the other anon said, it could have been harder for Neil to stay. He would have been property like Jean, unlike Kevin. He wouldn't have gotten to travel or leave the Nest or been loved by the public, etc. He probably would have endured similar physical, psychological, and sexual abuse that Jean did.

I know it's hard to say who has it worse in the Nest (and cults in general). But I know for certain if somebody told me I had to join one and I had the choice of being 2nd/3rd in the hierarchy (depends on whether you count Tetsuji), or being even lower than dead last, like I'm literal property of the cult and its leaders... I'm choosing 2nd/3rd...

Not one of the others anons btw- just to avoid any confusion haha 😅

hi!! i can actually see that, but i think for me i don’t really count levels of cowardice based on whether he stayed or not.

don’t get me wrong, i think that the way he did it, using jean and all, wasn’t the bravest thing at all.

but i actually think that leaving in the first place was a brave act. especially when the nest was what he knew best, and in the series we see this very clearly in the way that he acts (still has some raven reflexes/habits)

i do think neil would have stayed (based on his personality not was nora said) but is it bravery? or recklessness? because we know neil has a tendency of putting himself in very dangerous/mortal situations, and i’m not sure that this equals bravery to me (not yet set on this, would need a ten hours discussion)

my bottom line is that i feel we could argue that neil is also a coward in some ways, but in the end no one really thinks that because his ultimate choices are bold, and this boldness i believe is a mix of recklessness and courage (i personally don’t think i see neil as a coward either, but he fits the comparison)

i think kevin is similar to him in that sense, but without the recklessness. he’s not reckless that’s for sure. he’s cautious, prudent in the way he acts (mostly in front of the public eye)

i also dont believe that kevin should have stayed in the nest for jean. like i get the whole, he left him there alone, and i totally agree that using him was wrong (as jean said, he didn’t have to slit his throat on the way out) but staying wouldn’t have made him brave to me.

i’ll make a small comparison that might not talk to you and then i’ll stop bc this is becoming way too long but basically i’m in the marauders fandom and there is a similar situation where Sirius Black left his abusive home (House of Black) and “left” his little brother Regulus Black behind. and there is a huge discourse about who was right (sirius for saving himself although he left his brother who wouldn’t come with him, or regulus for resenting him for leaving/thinking sirius should have stayed) but one thing everyone agrees on is that Sirius is one of the bravest characters.

kevin and sirius black are very different but basically i don’t believe that one can mesure cowardice/braveness on whether someone stays of leaves an abusing household. in the end it’s about survival and i’m not sure that bravery/cowardice have a place in survival.

anyway i liked reading about ur pov so thank you!! and pls don’t hesitate to tell me more. also thank u for specifying about the anon because i admit i wasn’t sure ahaha

[mufflerly-juu]

An Alien Stage Ramble/Analysis, in light of Round 6 Happening (and my alnst friend not being awake yet):

Beware for spoilers!

Even though I'm pretty sure that MiziSua are my favorite pairing overall, I can't deny that Ivan and Till caught my eye quite effectively. I haven't had much contact with the fandom, so I can't really speak in detail about how the intricacies of their relationship are portrayed in fanon, but from what I've seen... I think there's a key element that people miss. Round 6 depicted this very brutally and I can't stop thinking about it, so I will now go into detail about my perception of IvanTill in ALNST canon. It's relevant to me because I took psychic damage!

Putting it very simply, IvanTill are a mirror of MiziSua. They're a onesided MiziSua, and the unrequited love between them is the core of the relationship. While Mizi and Sua's theme is loving and losing (and making that loss into fuel), Ivan and Till's is the tragedy of having eyes for someone else. Ivan may have been the one to hold the heavier share of unspoken feelings, as acutely aware of his impossible desires as he was, and he may have also been the dead one in the end; but Till is the victim of this tragedy. Till is the most hopeless character in Alien Stage, as it currently stands, and I find that quite interesting.

I've been fascinated by Ivan ever since Black Sorrow dropped, in no small part because I'm a sucker for utterly hopeless, unrequited love. Ivan's character complements this quite nicely: since he was a child, the idea of something bigger than him was what made him feel alive, as shown by how mesmerized he was by the meteor shower over him, at the very first flashback in the Black Sorrow MV. Till's always been rebellious and aggressive, larger than life in many ways, so it's no wonder Ivan loved him so much. Even when Till rejected the bold idea of leaving with him, Ivan still loved him. Even when Till willingly cages himself and makes both of their fates worse, Ivan still loves him and wants to stick by him. In my opinion, this consistency proves that Ivan's been resigned to dying in Alien Stage since that night Till went back. He knows that the boy who gave him a reason to live won't leave, so he won't leave, either. He knows his love is not reciprocated, but it keeps him alive, so he keeps going. To be hit by Till and to hit Till is all he can realistically hope for from him, so he provokes Till. Down to the very end, he didn't even care about finishing the song or increasing his chances of survival. He knew time was up, and so, he fulfilled his one and only wish. He could never hold Till, so he grabbed him by the neck until his very last breath. He kissed the boy who never loved him back, but it didn't matter that he never loved him. All that mattered was that single moment, the single moment he had to make Till see his love. In the end, Till still tried to push him away, but he couldn't have cared less. He died satisfied. That was the best way his life could have ended in such a cruel world.

And Till... was left standing in the rain, shellshocked. Ivan's blood was spilling out next to his shoes. From his reaction, it seemed like he didn't see it coming at all. He didn't know about Ivan's true feelings. He had a few lingering moments of his hands around his neck to show for them, but it was enough to leave him stunned in front of Ivan's corpse. If not for the sudden revelation, then for the loss of those same feelings. There is no love strong enough to survive Alien Stage's cruelty.

After that, though, what is even left for him? Being alive just means that the aliens can toy with him more, it just extends the miserable life he finds himself in without the presence of Mizi. If he wins the next round, then he'll be the new winner of Alien Stage. The winner of a contest he despises. He'll be on top of the system that's enslaved him his entire life, he'll get to live to be thrust into another contest again. He'll get to live to become an empty shell, with Mizi out of reach.

The difference between him and Ivan is how aware they are. Till doesn't give up, time and time again, because Mizi is what drives him forward. There is no indication of him knowing how deep Mizi and Sua's relationship really went, so it's highly likely that he thinks he can get her to like him back. Till's love allows him to keep going, but without Mizi, he doesn't have a purpose. His expression is dead for most of Cure, and the Mizi he sees is one that doesn't exist anymore. He's chasing after ghosts, and it's just a matter of time, until we see what will become of him when he realizes this. There's good outcomes in all of this, but they're not many. Till is locked into a position he never wanted, all for the love he held for Mizi.

Till is the victim of the story. He just doesn't know it yet.

Either way, I wanted to close this off by going back to my main point. I'm not putting this onto any tags just yet because I'm too afraid of the internet, but I still wanna say my piece. Round 6 cemented just how onesided IvanTill is, and I think that's a very important detail to keep in mind. I'm not saying that shipping IvanTill is stupid, but that you should keep their dynamic in mind. It's a crucial part of how they function in the narrative, since ALNST is such a character driven story. You could play around a lot with how to make Till like Ivan in that way while still keeping the initial unrequited love relevant.

I don't even know why I wrote all of this! Thank you for reading. IvanTill toxic doomed yaoi 2024

[jamiesfootball]

📓

In true fandom tradition I have rotated around the concept of a gender-flipped cast so many times. Like a normal amount of times. Specifically the players.

Some of it’s the same!-

Jan Maas is still very dry and dutch. Let’s just get that out of the way first.

Isaac is still built like a Rodan and cleats but it is definitely more of a struggle. Aside from having just the biggest tits on the team, there is nothing ‘feminine’ about her. She’s the captain and she’s tough and she looks rough around the edges but. There’s more to her than just that. You know?

Colin is just straight up named Colleen and has the same fucking hair cut and has had the same fucking hair cut since she was fourteen and she’s been out since the youth league because look at her. Look at her. This is the women’s league. She got outed a long time ago. She was never fooling anyone.

Some of it is the same but tilted-

Moe Bumbercatch is still small and feral and anti-capitalist but also aggressively nonbinary.

Dani’s leave in the first season was pregnancy related. Fútbol is life! She also gave life! It’s not a big deal (people try to tell her otherwise)

Some of it is different but kind of nice-

Sam’s dad was worried about her going off to England by herself so he came with her. They own a restaurant together. He packs her lunch. He has always been aggressively supportive of his daughter’s dreams and throws family dinners for her and her friends. He worries sometimes that his presence is overbearing. It is, but it’s a fixable amount. The longer Sam is at Richmond, the more she learns to set her own boundaries while appreciating how lucky she is.

And some of it is the same but better but worse but awful-

Jamie’s dad went to prison when she was sixteen. She’s been getting papped since she was barely legal. She’s Football Barbie and she’s been getting yelled at by angry men in locker rooms for most of her life. She has issues and no filter and too much talent. She is also the most likely to babysit for Dani, because she has a soft spot about single mums supporting their kids and never felt comfortable that she coming to Richmond might be the reason Dani could lose her job. She also gave Sam shit when she first joined, but then refused to leave Sam alone in a room with Rupert Mannion. She’s jealous of Isaac’s tits. She thinks it’s hilarious that all of Colleen’s girlfriends see her eyebrow slit and go weak in the knees. Personality-wise, she’s the Dutch-est Englishwoman Jan Maas has ever met. She’s planning to break contract and flee the country the second her dad gets out of prison. She hasn’t told anyone. She’s never even mentioned that she’s the one to blame for him being there in the first place.

Bonus non-player mention

Nate once let her parents set her up in an arranged marriage. She is picky, but she should’ve been pickier. She is divorced now. She’s barely spoken to her parents since. She’s not even the kitman here. She works in accounts in the AFC Richmond finance department. She’s never been so close yet so far from her dream.

OTHER Bonus non-player mention

Kyle Jones is a 5’3 flagrantly sparkly pixie-faced bisexual man who is best known for a series of silly, tongue-in-cheek deodorant commercials where he road on a horse. He has been fighting to be respected ever since. He is colloquially know as the Sexy Lynx Man.

[mdhwrites]

is there a way to write hate sink characters well? Cause the only hatesinks I can think of that work for me are shou tucker and Medusa, most others feel like they're there to make the heroes or love interest in a love triangle look better or to be preachy. Idk I like a lot characters that I know im supposed to hate on virtue of I can feel a writer trying too hard to make them unlikable to the point it feels ridiculous, like a caricature or in the worst case scenario the character wasn't originally a hatesink and went through a character assassination. So how do you do a hatesink right?

So I actually looked up the trope page for this one to make sure when I said this it felt right: I think you have it backwards, at least for the best hate sinks. For me, a hate sink is never something a writer should explicitly go out of their way to write. It's like forcing someone to be comic relief: If you have a character who is only one note, they will end up one note. That doesn't mean the term is invalid though or I can't talk about what makes a hate sink become a hate sink but I wanted to get that out of the way first.

The core to making a character your audience will despise even more than your main villain is to make a genuinely good and compelling character for a detestable role in your narrative. Medusa isn't just a faceless big bad. She is an abusive mother who only uses the facade of love to make sure Crona stays trapped with her. Shou Tucker is by all means a very normal dude except for what lengths he will go to to keep his comfort and status. Funny enough: Neither is as one note or pure evil as The Joker or Darkseid but both are hated more because, well, as the trope page says, their evil is less abstract. This makes them well written villains who grip people's imaginations more than most.

This also causes most Hate Sinks to be smaller in scope. Why is Shinji's dad the worst father in anime when there are people like the evil emperor in Mar who is, you know, the main villain and the MC's father? It's because of his small time villainy. The cruelty towards his own son. We as an audience can relate to that better because it's an affront to the morality we have to deal with day to day. This is what I mean by them being less abstract. As a note because of the fandoms I've been a part of: Bullies fall into this really easily as well. Even if they actually aren't even that cruel as far as bullies go, so many people have dealt with that ONE. ASSHOLE. and so seeing them portrayed can immediately make a fandom turn hard on them, even if they're very clearly not written as someone that is meant to be universally despised.

This also brings up a final note: How close are their actions to the main cast? Maka and Crona's plotline constantly intersects, with Medusa's abuse stopping resolution there as Crona becomes increasingly sympathetic. That pain to Maka in turn sharpens our blade against Medusa. Shou Tucker is in the grand scheme of things not in a lot of Fullmetal Alchemist but it is one of the most personal atrocities that Ed and Al face, along with it killing off a beloved character. Worse yet for Shou is that unlike Envy, who also kills a beloved character, he is never nuked a couple dozen times to give the audience the cathartic beatdown we want for something as awful as what they did. Not giving that payoff is another way to cause a character to fester in people's minds as someone to despise because it can feel like they got away with it, even if they technically didn't.

A lot of this still just comes from what I said at the beginning though: These are genuinely well written characters who are given a reprehensible role. The hate sink page lists Umbridge from Harry Potter but how many people actually have a lasting impact from her? Because she isn't a character. She's just a bitch. Woopdie doo, that's SO NEW. rolls eyes She is genuinely written just to be despised and for that she can make a fun villain but she isn't the sort that sticks with people so that every time she gets mentioned, everyone sneers and goes "THAT BITCH!" Not like they do at quite literally any mention of Shou Tucker.

And Shou is only that effective because the question around him was how to tell the concept of a pathetic man desperate for fame in this setting in a compelling way, not for how to make one of the most detestable human beings in all of anime. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[yanderes-galore]

I gotta request, uh, I hope that is okay?

Reader X Hofnarr/Tricky! Platonic scenarios are my preferred get go, but it can be whichever you feel!

Reader is forced to watch as Hofnarr loses his mind to the Improbability Drive, all the way to the end. They know what's happening, and while they do everything they can to help, they can't stop it no matter how much they want to. When it all has taken it's course, and the Reader realizes that Hofnarr isn't... "Hofnarr" anymore, it's already too late to run.

I hope you enjoy your day/night, and get better soon!

Oh now this is just sad. Here you go, Darling watches their friend descend into obsessive madness and they can't do anything about it. Sorry it got a bit short, I was having issues with pacing due to not being in the fandom right now :(

I bounced some ideas around on how to treat Tricky with @krystalkitdemi, Hope you enjoy!

Distortion

Yandere! Platonic! Hofnarr/Tricky Scenario

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Descent into insanity, Sadism, Kidnapping implied, Open ended fic, Violence, Blood, OOC Tricky.

Friends weren't a very common thing on Nevada. Any sort of partnership was often to use the other for your own benefit. That or someone always expected something in return. Genuine friendship was rare.

You and Hofnarr were an exception.

Even Hofnarr had his friendship taken advantage of by Jeb. Yet when it came to you, another scientist, you genuinely just wanted someone to lean on in this world. It wasn't like being a Nexus scientist was the best or safest job anyways.

Hofnarr is someone who also just wants a friend. When it came to you, things were very genuine. You saw him as a friend who was not only very intelligent but loved fun.

Good things never last long in Nevada, unfortunately.

Things between you were fantastic. Then Hofnarr kept getting involved with Improbability Drives. You don't know why but it was most likely due to a set of experiments that needed conducting. Sadly... such a thing affected your friend in strange ways.

Painful ways.

It's subtle at first. Slight pains, memory issues, odd mentions of sadism. The last bit is expected from most people but it put you... off.

It hurt you to see Hofnarr in such a strange condition. He'd tell you things are okay but you aren't blind to his painful twitches. You know he's suffering due to the mysterious drives... yet you can't do anything.

Despite Hofnarr's changes you stuck by him. You were even reprimanded for pushing off your work to check on him. You didn't care how others saw your friendship.

You'd do everything you can to preserve it.

Hofnarr appreciated your concern. Not many would pity the clown and violence loving scientist. You always seemed concerned of his help in pain.

Part of him even thinks you two were meant to be good friends.

Even when Hofnarr's condition got worse, you stayed. More violent twitching, outbursts, and memory issues came to light and the thought kept destroying you. You wanted to help, you asked him if you could, but he always said not to worry.

"There has to be something I can do. I can't just sit back and allow you to suffer." You said one day.

"There's nothing you can do. It's okay, I've come to terms with it." Hofnarr answered, a small smile on his face.

Not long after you had heard Hofnarr was working with Jeb on something. You never trusted their friendship but there was no need to intervene. Hofnarr trusted that man with his life.

Then there came news of Jeb's plan. He had been using Hofnarr's research and genius to put it in motion. You tried to convince Hofnarr to abandon the plan

He did not... and after things were set off, that's the last you saw of him.

You felt hatred towards Jeb for what has happened. If he didn't drag Hofnarr into this you could still be beside your friend! You have a feeling with his condition... he wouldn't have lasted long alone.

In fact as far as you know... your friend may have died in the fall.

You spent a lot of time grieving your friend afterwards. Once you escaped the tower and fled into the streets away from Zeds, you tried to move on. There was no time to cry when most of your time was spent trying not to die.

It was either bandits, Zeds, or surviving gang members. There was occasionally Nexus Soldier groups you had to avoid to. Your mind quickly adapts to survival like most in this place.

Seeing mass death wasn't uncommon. Admittedly you did find it odd when large groups of people were laid in a bloody mess when you passed by but you felt it was normal. These streets have changed...

Along with something else.

Ghoulish red eyes stare at you from the shadows of buildings. Blood stains claws used to rip into flesh for fun. You appear to be another victim of this beast.

You don't even notice things until you hear excited giggles. You pause your walk on the street only to be hit from behind with something steel. Pain courses through your body as you tumble onto the ground. Weakly you try to check for anything broken but all you find it broken skin, not bone thankfully.

Something must be sprained or ruptured at least though.

With blinding speed as Zed greets your gaze. A mask sits on his face and he looks like your typical circus clown. Upon further examination you also realize you were just hit with a street sign.

"HEY FRIEND. WANNA PLAY?"

You try to listen closer to the voice of the clown, swearing it sounds familiar past all the distortion. You shake your head softly... realizing it can't be who you think it is. Or... can it if he's a Zed?

"Who are you...?"

"TRICKY. YOU?"

You say your name cautiously, noticing the twitching of his movements. You had your suspicions, the clown theme and twitching too familiar. Yet you keep your mouth shut.

The clown pauses for a minute, tilting his head at the name. The silence is deafening....

"OH I KNOW YOU! I THINK...." Tricky responds. "WE WERE FRIENDS BEFORE! BEST FRIENDS...."

You take your chances.

"Hofnarr?"

"... DON'T CALL ME THAT!" The clown corrects, snapping in rage for a moment. "I'M TRICKY, AND WE'RE GOING TO CONTINUE BEING GREAT FRIENDS."

The clown steps closer, raising the sign you assume is his weapon of choice.

"IT'LL BE JUST LIKE BEFORE! NO ONE CAN TELL US WHAT TO DO NOW! NO ONE CAN BETRAY ME OR YOU! I THINK I'VE MISSED YOU FROM WHAT I REMEMBER!" The clown chirps in a cheery tone before raising the sign upwards. It looks like he'll hurt you if you don't move

"NOW HOLD STILL..." The clown giggles. "WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN!!!"