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#very very tempted to do that right now
evenina · 2 years
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im not saying that ezio’s family is the best video game music to have ever been written, but thats exactly what im saying
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ancha-aus · 3 months
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Static
This is a drabble I have been planning for a while and I finally know how I want to write it :3
Are you ready?
First Drabble here (with original prompt by @spotaus ) Prev Drabble here Next Drabble here
You see.... there was still something that hadden been addressed :3 Something about how Dust was dealing with the pressure and looks and backstory he has to follow :3
No beta and no edit. (also it is a big boy woops)
Timeline is that Nightmare was deaged like 4 months ago. One month in farmtale
*---------------*
Cross isn't sure how to deal with the tension in the air.
The bickering between Killer and Dust isn't making it any better.
Okay, Cross has got to be honest. It is much as much bickering as it is Killer being annoying and Dust trying to ignore him.
It had started this morning wiht Dust being more anti-social than usual. Easy to note by the fact that he had darkened the inside of his hoody.
Dust hadn't said a single word the whole day even as he went through the motions perfectly.
Cross is enver sure how to help in these moments. The moments which Horror once explained where most likely the times when the maybe ghost maybe hallucination of Dust's brother were extra loud.
Cross isn't even sure what that situation is. He asked everyone but Dust about it and no one really knows for sure if the Papyrus haunting Dust is actually a ghost. Or if it is a hallucination made of his own guilt. From what Cross heard from the others Dust isn't sure either.
The fact remains. They had tried to help in the ways they usually do. Cross tried to stay near in case he wanted something but mostly kept quiet. Cross tried to be a quiet reminder that Dust isn't alone and isn't whereever he was before.
Horror makes Dust's favourites and gently bullies him into eating and taking care of himself.
Killer tries to distract him.
Killer's tactis either goes very well or very wrong. At least Cross has been told that.
Cross has seen the two fight obviously but as soon as one manages to down the other the fight ends. The winner will be smug in their own way, Killer by loudly proclaiming victory while Dust will just have this smug little smile on his face.
The first time they just tackled one another to fight Cross had been worried. But after getting Horror and asking him what to do he had reassured Cross that this was just something the two did. For Dust it helps unload some of his large magic levels and overcharge and for Killer... welll Horror isn't sure about Killer, he assumes Killer just likes fighting or the attention with fighting.
Cross watches as Killer hangs all over Dust and yaps away about something. Cross can see that the fork Dust is holding is slowly but surely starting to curve under the pressure of Dust's phalanges.
Cross can see that Crop is a lot more nervous as he looks between the two worried before looking at Horror. Horror shrugs at the unspoken question.
Cross turns to check on Nightmare and sees him looking at the two with a frown. Cross grins and nudges him "No need to frown. Just them being silly again." he smiles.
Nightmare looks at him before looking back at the two. The frown not leaving "no... it isn't."
Cross is immediantly more worried, and he already was worried! He studies the two and notices that Dust is breathing very shallowly. Cross looks at Horror and signs it quickly to him.
Horror has a look of alarm on his face before slowly, and very carefully, inching closer "Come on Killer. That is enough. Not in the kitchen."
Killer grins cheerfully, completely unaware of the ticking timebomb he is hanging over "oooooh! here comes your knight in shining armour Dusty!"
Dust's fist twitches and Cross can see the fork fold over completely. Oh no.
Killer continues on as he leans on the other "Princess Dusty, getting saved and needing protection-"
And Killer flies over the table right into the stone wall, leaving large cracks on it. Dust follows two seconds after and punches him straight on the face.
Horror gets to Dust and tries to pull him off only to be turned blue and pushed away. Horror manages to fight the force but is still pushed away.
Cross doesn't think as he grabs Nightmare and backs up against the wall on the other side of the room. Even as Nightmare makes an unhappy noise and reaches for Dust. Nope! Not save right now!
Dust stands there panting heavily as mana and magic crack like electricity over him. Fuck. He is overcharged with magic. Fuck they are idiots to not realise that was going to happen soon. Fuck fuck fuck.
Horror somehow still looks calm even with the two different coloured eye lights staring straight at him from under the dark hood. "It is okay... we just ened to go out and-"
Dust huffs "Don't fucking bother." he sounds furious. He glances around the room and looks into Cross's direction for a moment. Dust looks away with a flinch and he is out of the room.
The front door slams shut.
Horror is by Killer as he helps him up. Killer groans as he rubs his skull "okay... maybe i was pushing it... again."
Horror gives him a 'no shit' look before checking his wounds.
Cross glances at Crop who had backed out of the kitchen and now inches back in "is everyone okay? what... waht was that?!" he waves at the front door.
Horror sighs as he rubs his skull "Overcharge... Dust has a lot of LV, EXP, magic and mana. Even with his buffed stats it gets a lot and he needs to release the steam or well... it goes off." he glances around "Sorry for your kitchen..."
Crop nods as he looks at the frontdoor "is it... safe for him?"
Horror nods as he looks into the same direction "It is... just dumb i forgot he would need to discharge...." he sighs.
Killer groans as he gets up "We all forgot. We have been busy and well... I think Dusty forgot as well."
A tug on his sleeve and Cross looks down at Nightmare. Nightmare just looks at him "Can I go to Dust?"
Cross feels panicked "no?! Just let him discharge Nightmare. You know he will be fine."
Nightmare shakes his skull as he looks at the frontdoor "It seemed different... I can't explain." a frown on his face of frustration.
Cross frowns as he looks at Horror and Killer. They share looks before moving towards the front door.
A loud boom of thunder and they open it to stare.
A large vortext of pure black clouds with purple lightning. SLowly but surely swirling to somewhere above the fields.
Crop whistles "Well then... I never saw that much magic before." he frowns and points "That normal?"
Cross follows the direction as he sees small zaps and static all in the air, all that same purple colour.
Killer shakes his skull "No that isn't normal... fuck I need to apologise..." he rubs his skull before quickly looking at Nightmare "don't repeat that." Nightmare shoots him an annoyed look.
Killer grins back before walking towards the stairs of the porch with purpose. only to get zapped as soon as he gets off the wood. Killer yelps and rushes back to stand behind Horror. glaring at the air "Rude! What the hell Dusty!"
horror frowns at him "hurt?"
Killer shakes his skull "More like a tiny zap when you are like static and stuff." he frowns and looks at the air "Though i don't know how that will be once that gets worse..."
Cross frowns as he follows Killer's sight. Cross can admit he is also worried. if this gets much worse it can spell very bad news.. not to forget that it has never been this bad before... Is this just what happened if they don't help him remember to discharge in time? Is Dust even okay with this much pressure and magic going on?
Cross frowns as he hands Nightmare to Horror "You guys stay here. Help Crop with the kitchen and keep Ngihtmare safe." just in case.
Ngihtmare glares as he is put down "I am safe!"
Cross nods and stares at Killer and Horror "I am going to go to help and try to get him to calm down and discharge safely." a spar usually works best.
Horror frowns as he shakes his skull "I will just come back if it goes wrong."
Cross shoots him a look "I got better stats and have the endurance to keep dodging to get through the worst. Killer has a straight up bullseye by his sternum and he annoyed Dust already. YOu may come back but do you really want to do that to Dust?" Horror frowns but nods his agreement. Cross nods himself "just keep an eye on Nightmare and-"
"See? Perfectly safe."
They all turn only to stare. Becuase Nightmare is just standing off of the porch. in the middle of the static. But nothing happens. the static follows along his body but never zaps him. Nightmare looks unamused "I will go to dusty and fix this."
Cross shakes his skull as he gets off the porch. Fuck the zapping is almost constant. He gets ot Nightmare and picking him up gives him a much much much larger and slightly painful zap. Cross breaths through it "No. You are going to stay here and wait. This is our mess so we will fix it ourselves." he nuzzles the small skull "We got this."
Nightmare looks unhappy to doesn't fight being handing back to Horror, Horror flinches at the zap but takes it in stride.
Cross nods to the others and goes into the direction of the large vortex of clouds.
The zapping is honestly just annoying. It helps that Cross can see none of his HP dropping even as he gets closer and closer.
He ends up finding Dust in the wheat field, well in a circle of completely vaporized wheat. the current and magic having turned the plants and part of the ground into ash. Dust just stands there. muttering as crackles of lighting go all along his body.
Cross gulps before stealing himself "Hey Dust!"
Dust freezes. Okay! Good news! Dust can still hear him! not too far gone!
Cross smiles and feels a bit braver "sorry we didn't realise... want to spar? Blow off a bit of steam?"
Dust tilts his skull but nothing. okay wait! Cross knows what this means!
Cross speaks louder "don't listen to whatever he says!" Dust doesn't react. Cross takes a step closer "please. whatever he says it isn't true or real oaky? Or at least not the full truth and-"
Dust chuckles and stares at him "What? Think i ened fucking protection from him?"
Cross blinks and opens and clsoes his mouth. Not sure what to say "I... euh... maybe?" is this a trick question?
Dust looks displeased by his answer. That is fair Cross couldn't commit to either answer. Dust huffs "Don't fucking bother. I am fine."
Cross frowns and feels braver again. No time for self doubt. Dust needs his help. Cross steps clsoer "You aren't fine."
Dust glares back at him "I am fine!" crackles and the ring of vaporized wheat grows bigger. Oh man Cross hopes Crop won't lose too much money thanks to that.
Cross gulps but keeps going closer "It is okay Dust... If it hurts i can heal you!" his healing is weak but he can still heal! "We just need to get you to use some magic and-"
Dust snaps "You want to see fucking magic!" and it crackles loudly as a snap of lightning crashed just by Dust's feet. Cross yelps and feels afraid it did damage but Dust seems fine even as the energy from the lightning travels through the ground. A loud whine of magic nad Cross sees an overgrown blaster right by Dust's shoulder.
Dust hisses "leave. me. alone."
The blaster blasts and Cross dodges. After the dodge Cross actually feels reassured.
You see?
If Dust wants to hit you. He will hit you. The fact he gave Cross enough time to get ready to dodge and didn't change the direction of the beam to still hit him gives Cross hope.
Cross glares back "I am not leaving." not again. He is not giving up on them again.
Dust glares as more blasters appear "You think I won't do it?! You think I am fucking weak?!"
...Weak?
Cross blinks "No? You are like one of the strongest mosnters I know..." Cross has seen Dust fight Ink 1v1 and win. Dust weak? Why would he ever think that? Who would ever think that?
Dust laughs and more crackles in the air as the static grows. Dust's face becomes visible and he smiles sharply at him "That is quite a different answer than you gave before!"
before? When?! Cross never said Dust was weak!
Cross doesn't really have a chance to dodge. Because even if Dust gives him time to see the attacks coming Cross sitll has to dodge them himself.
Dust growls as he charges more attacks "Helpless? Weak? Useless? come on! You can tell me! I already figured it out anyway! With the endless hovering and shadowing!" another blast.
It clicks.
They are fucking idiots!
Cross looks at him panicked "It is just an backstory!" Dust had said no. They still pushed and he had been unhappy wiht it.
They thought it was fine.
But then again. It isn't Cross who has to deal with it with every interaction he has...
Shit. They are assholes.
Cross barely dodges another blast and Dust frowns a tiny bit. He pulls his arm a bit back and a few blasters hold their fire "Well?! Still weak?! Still useless!?"
Cross needs to do something.
And well, the answer is obvious.
Cross gets ready for his sprint. He needs all the speed he can get. Dust sees him hold his own run and rolls his eye lights before shooting at him with a sneer on his face.
Cross runs straight at Dust, straight at the blast. Dust's sockets and eye lights widen and he has to pull hard at his own magic. the air crackles angerly as the blast changes directions just before it hits Cross.
Cross gets right up into Dust's personal space and locks his arms around the other.
Dust snarls and tries to free himself but Cross has more physical strenght than he has and Cross has a good hold on him with locking his arms to his side.
Dust screams and wiggles "Let me go!"
Cross shakes his skull and pushes close to the other "No. I am not letting go of you." not of you. not of nightmare. not of the others. No. He isn't letting go.
Struggling and more screaming. Blasters going off but without his arms he can't aim them right. Dust goes as far as trying to kick, scratch and even bite him but Cross just keeps holding on. Refusing to give up or give in.
The storm around them calms slowly and eventually Dust goes lax in his arms. still some uneasy crackles far above them but the vortex disappeared and the clouds turned more of a dark grey colour.
It starts to rain and this is when Cross thinks it would be safe to let him go. Not that he does. Cross keeps holding on.
Dust isjust lax in his hold. Not saying a word and Cross doens't even know how to say what he wants to say. That he is sorry for pushing. For not helping Dust think of a new plan. So being so okay with Dust having had to carry most of the burding concerning their back story. and later more responsiblity about money. and before that even with taking care of nightmare. All wihtout Cross even trying to help him.
Cross had just... liked the idea of the backstory. That Dust came to them for help, that Cross had a bit of the savior role in the story... Just like he had enjoyed the idea of some people thinking he and dust had a kid together. Just like he enjoys the idea that everyone knows the four of them are an unit and won't separate... Cross is a jerk.
He still isn't sure what to say "... We can probably change the backstory still..." Instead he just talks.
Dust just sounds tired "We can't..."
Cross shakes his skull and just tightens his hold "No we totally can!" think think think "We... we... we can just be that... that i was the one with the ex! But that i hadn't been sure about a kid... and so i just left but regretted it and found out about the bad stuff..." he is just rambling "So i went back and got you guys for help but nightmare had been so young so he didn't remember me and i was still weird about being a father but you were great at it so you and nightmare bonded and so we just kinda told him it was you and... and..." Cross doesn't know. he is stuck and can't think.
Dust snorts against his shoulder "People will hate that... they won't trust us in anyway if they 'found out' we lied..."
Cross gulps and knows he is right. still... "I am sorry... I should have told killer to stuff it when he oppered."
Dust shrugs "Could have done that myself..."
They continue to sit there in the rain. Cross trying to think of some way to fix this mess.
Dust sighs "It is fine... just... stupid... got the best of me... won't happen again."
Cross feels even worse "I am sorry..."
Dust tries to pull back, probably to shoot him a look of some kind but Cross just keeps holding him tighter. No. Not letting go.
Dust sighs and gives in rather easily "I know why... it is fine..."
Cross shakes his skull "you are overworked... and we were to dumb to see."
Dust lets out an annoyed sigh again "I don't need a babysitter. I should be able to take care of myself just fine cross."
Cross feels tears appear but pusehs them back "It isn't being a babysitter you moron! It is about being friends and looking out for one another and not being a dumb idiot to forget one of your friends also needs help!"
silence.
Cross just keeps going "We shouldn't have pushed the backstory. WHen you said no we should ahve just accepted that! You were uncomfortable wiht that plan. YOu are still uncomfortable wiht it. it isn't fair that we kept pushing and you had to brun for it."
Cross feels himself start to ramble and he doesn't bother to stop it "And then the tinkering! You like that and that is great but that doesn't mean it should be a must or have the pressure of being our solo income! You are overworked and tired and need rest and i don't want to hear any comment or self hating joke about you being lazy!"
Dust huffs and mutters "kill joy" but stays quiet otherwise.
Cross keeps going as if he didn't interrupt him "You are also the one who takes charge with Nightmare and that is fine as well as long as you don't have all the pressure! It is unfair of us to just assume you will decide or have the decision or even that you thought about it! Even if you do have the answers and you did think about it it isn't fair that we put that expectation and pressure on you! We are a team and we should share the burden of stuff!"
Cross pants as he just sits there. feeling partly mortified by what he just said and partly relieved he managed to get it all out.
Dust is quiet for a long time before answering "I don't mind it..." it is hardly more than a whisper.
Cross huffs and just keeps holding it "Even if you don't mind it now clearly it is too much or we wouldn't be sitting in a circle of vaporized plants."
Dust is silent but does give a small nod against his shoulder.
Cross nods himself "When you feel okayish. we will go back to the others. you are going to get cleaned up and sleep. actually sleep. and sleep in. No more trying to get up early wiht Nightmare."
Dust mutters "I sleep in..."
Cross huffs "Yeah. until like 8 or 9 compared to the 5 and 6 of Horror and me. But I mean you need to sleep sleep Dust. Sleep in untill at least 10. Don't even think I won't get Horror or Killer to tie you down to the bed!" Dust is almost always up until late at night. he needs rest clearly.
Dust snorts and mutters "Don't let Killer hear you say that. He will have many things to say about that implication about your preferences."
Oh god no brain don't think about that mental image when Dust is stuck in your arms. You don't want to have that type of conversation now when that image does things to you!
Cross feels himself blush as he stares striaght ahead "Very funny."
Dust snorts "I know."
Cross huffs before spekaing again "Well then! You are going to sleep in and get the rest you actually need. We are no longer going to allow you to plan your days full like you did before anymore."
Dust groans "Cross we still need money."
Cross nods "and so we will figure something out eventually! But you are no longer trying to earn enough for everyone. And please for the love of everything actually buy something nice for yourself for once!" so far he had only spend money on stuff for Nightmare. or clothes for any of them. Cross appreciates the clean clothes and things but please Dust just get stuff for yourself.
Dust mutters and mumbles some stuff but nothing that Cross can really make heads or tails from "Good! Now that we agreed to that... Ready to go back?"
Dust is quiet again but sighs "Yeah.... need to apologise to Killer for attacking him... and crop for probably breaking part of his house..."
Cross nods "Yeah... Good news though Killer didn't have actual HP damage so i think even when mad you were pretty controlled over what you actually wanted, which was just Killer to shut up I guess... as for Crop's house I only saw some cracks and Horror and I can do enough construction stuff to fix that." a moment of silence "Also Killer owns you an apology for annoying you the whole day."
Dust listens before sighing "Thanks..."
They sit a moment longer before they both get up. Cross can't help his curiosity as he sticks his phalanges into the lose sand.
Dust frowns at him "What are you doing?"
Cross looks away embarresed "Heard that... if lightning strikes sand like glass is made... I am curious..." he feels something but can't pull it out. Instead he pushes more sand and dirt aside and uncovers a giant glass electric strike in the ground. he can see how the electricity move and made the glass.
Dust frowns at it "Hopefully I didn't ruin his field... Will have to dig that out and any other stuff to make sure it doesn't damage his machinery when he does farming stuff." Dust already sounds tired as he looks around his large circle were Cross cna see multiple hits of lightning hit the ground.
Cross pats his back "It is fine. Horror and I got a lot of free time so we will get to that tomorrow."
Dust looks at him before sighing and nodding "fine."
Cross nods.
The two walk back as Cross looks at the sky "It is clearing... I didn't know you could do the whole sky thing..."
Dust shrugs "never did that before."
huh. Cross keeps looking up "Think it was because you have more charge or something?"
Dust shrugs "Could be..."
Cross nods as he taps his chin "We will need to make sure you don't overcharge faster than..."
Dust is quiet but Cross feels Dust nudge his shoulder. Cross beams at him and Dust shoots him a small smile back.
They near the house and find their other three boys waiting on the porch. Dust goes straight to nightmare nad hugs him before looking at Horror and Killer for just amoment before looking down "sorry... I.... sorry."
Horror smiles bakc and nods. Killer grins himself and shrugs "Euh. It is fine. Sorry to you for once again not picking up on your social clues." he rubs his cheek which has a large bruise "No hard feelings."
Dust nods and agrees easily enough.
After apologizing to Crop for the mess in both the kitchen and field and promising to fix it they get back to their attic. They take a moment to sit together and Cross explains what the deal had been about. Mostly because dust had retreated to hoody-city while hugging Nightmare and was refusing to admit himself what was wrong.
Killer and Horror both look deeply unhappy with this newly gotten information and looka t Dust. Dust manages to somehow look even further away as he mutters "Cross makes it sound worse than it is."
Cross glares. Rude! Because he actually thinks he is underselling the issue!
Killer must come to the same conclusion as he wiggles around until he is laying right up against Dust's side and looks at him begging "You know that I know you are like the strongest monster ever right? Like it is obvious. We all know that? You know that right?"
Dust shrugs and nods but Corss has his doubts. Seeing as he didn't seem to beleive so just moments ago. Killer pouts and has his scheming face on.
Cross sighs "Either way... we need to balance the work load better." he shoots Nightmare a look "You aren't allowed to share the load as you are a child and no child labor."
Ngihtmare huffs and crosses his arms "I can help"
Killer nods "You help by staying safe nad being a good babybones!" Nightamre grumbles even more and pushes closer to Dust.
Horror hums and nods "We will... need to calm down... Taking it easy with townvisits." he shoots Dust a look "Only when it is relaly necessary."
Dust huffs and mutters "Still need cash."
Horror nods "We will figure that out later. First taking things calmly. step by step."
Cross nods as he sees Dust relax a bit. Step by step. They can do this. They got each other and everything will be fine.
*---------------*
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tswwwit · 8 months
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tell me something about yourself, dear author.
I really like cooking!
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cerealmonster15 · 3 months
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh#on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship#and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that#well i dont think he would think that either way now but#even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like#alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like#idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him#HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded#so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon#even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life#humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers#i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e#and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage#hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH#sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever#i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it#nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it#i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.
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talkorsomething · 3 months
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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ghost-bxrd · 7 months
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Are you planning on releasing part 10 of owl song exactly on April 27th? Because if so, I will actually cry.
Huh, that’s… actually a pretty neat idea honestly.
I mean to be fair we still have about— three parts coming, with the fourth being the disaster one, so depending on how kind writer’s block is treating me it’s entirely possible that we’ll be seeing a ver nice parallel happening there 😌✨
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kinglazrus · 2 months
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LAZ!! I have a question!! And I feel a little silly for this, but I read through your fic "The Survivalists" and it inspired me to write a found footage fic myself! I was wondering if you'd be ok with me listing your fic as an inspo once I post it??
IK it's being rewritten, but y'know fhjhgsdhgfs Also, I'm still kinda new to AO3 so idk what the etiquette surrounding this sorta thing is, so I thought I'd ask to be polite!!
Anyway, I really enjoy your writing!!! I think you have a lot of interesting concepts!
Omg absolutely!! Hearing my fic inspired you is probably one of the biggest compliments I’ve ever gotten. I can’t wait to check out your fic when you post it!
As for Ao3 etiquette, I know it would have been a welcome and wonderful surprise if I got a notification out of the blue about my fic being listed as inspiration, and I’m sure many other Ao3 writers will agree!
Thank you so much!
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theyarebothgunshot · 2 months
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juliareed · 3 days
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Tell me how does it feel When your heart grows cold? How does it feel? How should I feel? Tell me how does it feel To treat me like you do?
#aliasedit#alias#irina derevko#julian sark#userthing#irina x sark#irina x khasinau#isplus#myedit#that sark/khasinau gif... the pure hatred in khasinau's eyes... INSANE.#khasinau feeling threatened by a 20 year old will NEVER not be funny. i mean he was right. he was literally right. right about everything.#he knew that irina was planning on killing him and that sark was counting on her to do it. knew that sark was on his way to replacing him.#knew that irina and sark were already making plans together - plans that did not involve him in any way.#and it's insane to think about how he probably watched sark grow up. probably knew him as a child.#probably didn't take him seriously - didn't see him as a threat - until it was too late.#and after he realized what was happening - he also realized how many chances he had to put a stop to it.#and how it wouldn't have mattered anyway. killing sark in his sleep when he was ten years old wouldn't have fixed anything.#irina would've just started all over again with someone else. because she had always intended to replace him with someone younger.#with someone who had no life before her. with someone EASILY impressed EASILY manipulated EASILY led.#the reason why she'd choose sark over khasinau - khasinau who she first met when she was eighteen;#khasinau who was her superior back at the kgb; who followed her into the criminal world;#who chose her over his past over his family over his country over every single person in his life;#who stayed by her side in her shadow now content with following HER orders -#the ONLY reason the ONLY explanation possible is that she was there to follow sark's progress from the very beginning.#she was there when he saw a gun for the first time in his life. and she was there when he first killed someone.#she was there every step of the way. and she knows him better than he knows himself.#and she'd choose sark over khasinau because khasinau knows what it's like to have power over her. what it's like to use power over her.#and putting him in a situation where he might be tempted to again is unacceptable. he might remember what it's like - to have freedom.#sark believes he owes everything to her - surrendering to the cia when it's sark on the outside is a better option.#like who would you choose. someone you made from clay all by yourself or someone who controlled your life when you were eighteen.
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jils-things · 9 months
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memoryshipping x studio ghibli: the masterpost ✨✨
see them separately: (x) (x) (x)
no need to rb!
#damn dude... what a movie does to a selfshipper....#im very proud of these - because i figured out a nice filter for these edits#for those who're curious - i used gaussian blur + bloom + faded frame or whatever it was called in ibispaint and ofc the vhs effect#and i totally intended to make the VHS effect a combo of purple and green since it was an option available AHEHEHEH#i honestly... really like how i drew stevens back view 🥺🥺🥺🥺 like it looks so.#attractive?????? is that the right word? it just looks really nice to look at from behind#i tried to make sense with his hair and i think it worked well here#jaides hair is so POOFY AAAHJCCKCK shes so pretty 💚💚💚💚💚#okay guys who wants the air walk raise your hand SLASH J SLASH J DON'T ACTUALLY PLEASE#I AIN'T DOING AN AU HERE BECAUSE YOURE BASICALLY SAYING YES JAIDE SHOULD BE A GRANDMA AKSKDJSBDHJSJDJSJSJS#yk im so tempted to do a little... directors cut here but itll be so LONG 😭#i literally havent seen this movie in ages i only saw it once but my sister is such a big fan of the movie and she checks it often LOL#but now after watching it again recently im like#alright i kinda get thr appeal now AJSHSHAJSBSHS#tho i regularly listen to the ost (THE OST IS LITERALLY ON THE STEVAIDE PLAYLIST AND NOW IT HAS MORE IMPACT ON ME LMFOAJDHSHA)#i know i keep saying this. but. howlsophie = stevaide ufghgg 😭😭😭😭 i never saw this coming#WEEEGHH IM TRYING TO PUT IN ALL MY THOUGHTS HERE BUT I CANT REMEMBER#IM ALREADY DOING A DIRECTORS CUT AKAKSKSJSJSJSJAJ#YEAH ANYWAYS YAY MEMORYYYYY#♥️ memoryshipping#~ art
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helenofblackthorns · 1 year
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one of these days I’m going to reread tlh just to figure out the timeline and you can hold me to that
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somelazyassartist · 9 months
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I am trying. So hard not to impulse buy a set of armor right now
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poptartmochi · 2 months
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hm.. closing thoughts. bennie deserved better 😔
#this is what living with your evil parents through your 20s for the sake of your younger sibling does to a mfer#it's so sad too because he and gioia only had 3 years left before she was considered a mini-adult + could move out without it being a whole#hooha... but alas 😢😢#it's not enough to die in the field! you then have to come back weirdstyle and now your friends treat you different because they watched you#die. and now your superiors (including your evil parents) are all breathing down your neck and observing you like a goldfish. and also#you are like... godcharged now? supersoldier style? but when the vigor wears off holy SHIT does it ache + also you feel less and less like#yourself with each passing day. the desire to feast on human flesh and blood is newfound? not fun at all 😱#and THEN. to top it all off. your churchgeneral sends you on a suicide mission to go find an ancient demon because it's your last hope at#finding a cure to stop the Demon Within from eating your entire self. and you both know it probably won't happen but honestly#he just wants you off the island for when you Become Something Else (read: a PR disaster).#and if you do succeed well. hooray! win-win situation‚ right?? ignore how you were thrown to the dogs to figure it out yourself! 💖#so whatever. you go on your hopeless journey and you have some good times along the way w the mainlanders#then! finally! against all odds! you find the giant demon lair you were looking for all along 🍻 perfect timing too because the pain is#becoming unmanageable and the thought of eating people to appease it is very tempting! so into the tomblair you go ⛹🏻‍♀️ and to your great#luck the great demon you sought out welcomes you in (unnoticed red flag) and promises to cure you (🚩🚩🚩)#but who would have thought the Cure would be becoming his puppet forever!!! wtf!#at least the pain is gone 🤨 most of your consciousness is too but. hey 🤷🏻‍♀️#this song and dance goes on for 7 years until your baby sister who you unwillingly abandoned comes and kills you whilst trying to figure out#wtf happened to you. man!!!!!#he is the unluckiest man in the world#sriracha.txt#fortuna presequel
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horny-ex-catholic · 2 years
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I fully acknowledge that men are capable of basic human decency and I choose to believe the majority of them are good people,
But then a man decides to follow and message me with no prior interaction and describe a fantasy in which he calls himself daddy and, when I tear his ass up and remind him I am a whole ass adult who never uses that title for anyone and feel nothing but boredom and irritation towards him now, just says "sorry. misread you."
Like???? MOTHERFUCKER YOU DO NOT MEASAGE ANYONE LIKE THAT. YOU FUCKING GET CONSENT FROM THEM. NOT TO MENTION THAT I. EXPLICIT AS HELL IN THE FACT I DONT WANT TO INTERACT WITH MEN. YOU DIDN'T "MISREAD" ME, YOU DIDNT READ ME AT ALL, YOU ILLITERATE SHRIVELLED DICK PIECE OF SHIT
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linskywords · 3 months
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I'm so excited for chapter 4!
It will probably be up Wednesday!!
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katyspersonal · 11 months
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Sorry I don'thave many fun headcanons to suggest but I remember that you enjoyed Maria and Laurence potential: I love to think that Maria and Laurence were both in love with reading differently than Micolash. I've always thought that the books in the nightmare of Micolash were a testimony to his insanity. My vision of Micolash is a pragmatic that would first and foremost seek out textbooks and documented research had magic not existed in the bb setting, yet Laurence and Maria enjoy fictional stories just as much and want everything as long as it is on paper.
No, no, this is a good idea, and it makes a total sense! It can be a bit hard to say what would "true" love for reading be! From what I am gathering, for (your version of) Micolash, reading is largerly a neccessity to obtain the information that will be 'useful' (like history, biology, medical procedures tutorial, documented experiments... all that), when for the other two it is more for the fun of it! So, they are "true" bookworms, when Micolash has a clear goalpost that simply requires a lot of reading! I like this take on the boy, we really can't tell whether he was more pragmatic or 'creative'. It is all jambled together by the fact that things like aliens, magic, gods, immortality etc are real and tangible in Bloodborne, they're not a fiction 🤔
Besides, I have a soft spot for bookworm Laurence headcanon, because mine is a son of the Cainhurst librarian and I only mention justification for that headcanon in every second post about him..... xd But let's be real, he totally read all those books in the early Grand Catdedral, when it was still an entrance hospital room:
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Pfffft imagine Laurence spotting a patient reading something and getting all excited, chimming in to ask what they think so far or to drop an interesting fact about this book series or its author xD Meanwhile, maybe all those books in Old Hunters' Workshop were actually for Maria. In my case, they both were well-read since childhood, because... well, that giant Cainhurst library.
But yeah, distinction between reading to read and reading as simply methods to 'obtain information'. They can overlap and sure Micolash would have fun reading about some unethical experiments fhfhdsfs, whereas Laurence and Maria sure become smarter reading fiction as well, but I just.. get your point here. It is really cool!
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