#vriska was first and i SWEAR

[aethulean]

drawing mine and @davestriderpostscratch blorbos with an unmatchable fervor

[lizardinkart]

Making a new D&D one shot character when…

Me: So I’m making a barbarian and the gimmick is that they smoke a ton of weed to not be angry and go into a rage. Funny, huh? :D

My Partner (has read Homestuck): You do know that’s just a Homestuck character right?

Me (hasn’t read Homestuck): As long as it’s not the clown one, I’m fine with that.

*long silence*

Partner: …It’s the clown one.

Me: GODDAMMIT

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

Propaganda under the cut.

Vriska Serket has too much propaganda for this post! You can find her propaganda post here.

Galadriel:

ok so by the time LotR rolls around she’s a fancy queen in a whole special girl kingdom but she STARTED as the youngest daughter of the youngest son of a king, with five million cousins and three older siblings who were all older and probably better-respected than her; and then some shit happens and the king dies and they all decide to leave Elf Heaven in order to chase down the guy who killed their grandfather, and she is SPECIFICALLY noted as wanting to leave because she wants to rule a kingdom of her own, and she can’t do that in Elf Heaven where there aren’t any openings to rule bc everyone already has a king. so she goes with most of her extended family to try and make their way across the ocean and back to the continent their grandparents travelled to Elf Heaven from, where they hope to avenge the king and also rule some kingdoms (although it’s worth noting!! that other people already live there, and they all KNOW this), and then some more stuff happens and some of her cousins on the “leaving” side start a fight that escalates into a pitched battle where they kill! her mother’s father’s people! (bc she’s also a princess on her mom’s side, lol) and in some versions tolkien decided that she actually fought AGAINST her cousins and killed some people in defense of her mom’s side (which is a BIG DEAL for an elf to Choose to do). after this, her dad is like “actually i Will Not be leaving with you people, murder is Not Okay and i’m going back home to ask the gods for forgiveness and if you had any sense you would too” but galadriel decides SHE’S STILL GOING. anyways then some more stuff happens and her entire extended family on her dad’s side dies, but not before killing some more of her extended family on her mom’s side and also (indirectly) her favorite brother; amongst all this she spends some time as a handmaiden in her great-uncle’s court but eventually decides that that’s not enough for her, so she packs up and heads further east to found her own kingdom, which incidentally will be populated not by her own close family’s subjects, but by some people who at one point were subjects of her great-uncle and may or may not have decided to leave his rule. and then once all the first age drama has died down, even though there is very much a new, undisputed high king of their people on her father’s side who’s still ruling (and doing a damn good job of it), she just Doesn’t swear fealty to him or join his court. instead she founds her own realm. some more intrigue happens and sauron stuff too and she’s forced out of power so she leaves; there’s a war, the king of the place she’s been staying in dies, and then a while later there’s Another big Problem and his son (the new king) just dips, so she just Executively Decides that she’s gonna be in charge of his people now, and THAT’S how she became the Lady of Lothlorien. and then she hangs out being Queen (functionally, if not nominally) there for like two thousand years while occasionally going other places to use her vast magical powers to fight sauron but mostly she just protects her fancy special kingdom. and then LotR happens and she does some mind magic on the entire Fellowship which is also at least a LITTLE creepy, and she admits that she’s Very into the idea of having the power of the One Ring, but doesn’t take it bc she’s got Wisdom now (and also imo bc she’s HAD her chance to rule a kingdom for a very long time so she doesn’t crave power now in the same way she did when she was young). and tolkien writes about her like she’s Perfect but genuinely she’s kinda fucked up and power-hungry! good for her!

[thegoodthebadthealternative]

The Good, The Bad, and The Alternative: a homestuck fanfiction. Chapter 34, an excerpt:

"Well, that sounds better than no plan, I suppose," Kanaya agreed. "We'll take a table far enough away that you don't feel like we're hovering."

"And we'll keep an eye out for you going mister cool guy mode if you flub too many open and honest type behaviors," Vriska added.

"Goddamnit, you were eavesdropping." Dave sighed, swinging his legs up so he could sit on the counter sideways, able to see both of them. "Was there any part of this convo that actually stayed private?"

"I could lie if it makes you feel better," Vriska said, shoving her hand in her jeans pocket. She pulled out a crumbled fifty-dollar bill. "Is this enough to cover these clothes? Walmart shirts are fine for casual wear, but if I look super schlubby, I'll stand out more."

"Hmm, I think that works out to just enough," Kanaya lied, taking the proffered fifty. She grabbed the security magnet remover from behind the counter. "Dave, can you help her get the tags off?"

"Nah, she's being hella shady." He refused the proffered tool. "Vriska, you're not gonna go gossiping to John about my tragicomic ass behavior, are you?"

"Depends," she replied, idly fiddling with the magnet on her tank top. Casually, she added, "how sure are we that Jade isn't a succubus?"

Kanaya sputtered. "What?"

"Seconded. What?" Dave chimed in.

"Wellllllll, the logic seems pretty obvious to me." Vriska cleared her throat, flicking the security tag onto the counter, which she'd apparently worked free without the magnet remover. She looked up at Kanaya, addressing her directly. "So, picture this. John and I are making cupcakes, right? John's in this cute ruffled apron with flowers on it. Some banter ensues- Dave calls him a housewife, John threatens to withhold the goods if he doesn't quit the jokes, and next thing I know, Dave is literally begging on his knees, hands clasped like a groveling peasant as he praises John's skills."

Dave groaned in embarrassment. "I swear it sounded better in my head as I was doing it."

"Psh, I bet." Vriska waggled her eyebrows. "So. He crawls in close, like just barely out of dick-sucking range, and then they just stare at each other, leaving me smelling way too much information about the direction their thoughts were wandering. John's dad was in the room and the dude totally forgot, his pupils were blown like he was on ecstasy. Absolutely atrocious, he's lucky humans can't smell or see that kind of detail from the other side of the room." 

"Dude, no, he was just staring at my antics. He's straight." Dave shook his head. 

"Do you need me to spell out exactly what I was smelling?" Vriska asked incredulously, whipping her head around to stare at Dave. "Maybe he's just so fucking drawn in by your cool guy shtick that he thinks you're the straight one, so he isn't talking flirty or whatever. But the body keeps the score on that kind of stuff, and he can't hide the reactions happening underneath the skin." 

"But what does that have to do with Jade?" Kanaya asked, trying to draw Vriska's intensity back in her direction. 

"Oh, just that John's first favorite subject was Dave, pre-party. They did that whole rap thing against Tavros and Gamzee, I thought they were two, maybe three drinks away from a successful maneuver on the dance floor. But then Jade shows up, and suddenly John is-" Vriska crossed her pointer and middle finger. "Like this with her for the rest of the party, even though Dave nearly got his brain melted. It was fucking weird . Then he doesn't even stop by to say hi to us, not one, but two days in a row, because he's too busy in the morning getting ready to hang out with Jade? Makes me think, maybe she's pulling some heavy seduction magic."

For a moment, the trio were silent, absorbing Vriska's words.

"Are you a conspiracy theorist? Genuinely asking," Dave said, crossing his arms.

Do you think Vriska is blowing things out of proportion? Read on to find out!

The Good, The Bad, and The Alternative (449733 words) by Madam_Melon_Meow, sarcasticcelery Chapters: 34/? Fandom: Homestuck Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Nepeta Leijon/Equius Zahhak, Sollux Captor/Aradia Megido, Eridan Ampora & Feferi Peixes, Kanaya Maryam & Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde & Rose's Mom | Beta Roxy Lalonde, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider & Dave Strider, Beta Kids & Beta Trolls, Jade Harley & Rose's Mom | Beta Roxy Lalonde, Dad Egbert & John Egbert, Kanaya Maryam/Vriska Serket, Eridan Ampora/Dave Strider Characters: John Egbert, Rose Lalonde, Dave Strider, Jade Harley, Becquerel (Homestuck), Kanaya Maryam, Vriska Serket, Karkat Vantas, Terezi Pyrope, Aradia Megido, Tavros Nitram, Sollux Captor, Gamzee Makara, Eridan Ampora, Feferi Peixes, Nepeta Leijon, Equius Zahhak, Virgin Mother Grub (Homestuck), Vriska's Lusus, Gl'bgolyb (Homestuck), Dad Egbert, Rose's Mom | Beta Roxy Lalonde, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider, Aurthour (Homestuck), The Condesce (Homestuck), Serenity (Homestuck) Additional Tags: inspired by Kim Harrison’s The Hollows, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Humanstuck, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Human Lusii (Homestuck), Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Demigods, Vampires, multi POV: all beta trolls & humans, The Horrorterrors (Homestuck), Non-Abusive Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Violence, Magic, Aged-Up Character(s), the kids and trolls range between 16 and 20, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Vriska Serket has PTSD, Memory Loss, Scars, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Plot Twists, Unreliable Narrator, Rose Lalonde and Dave Strider Are Not Related, Skaianet Laboratories, beta guardians are not alpha kids and troll parents are not ancestors, monsterstuck, Break Up, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Ship Tags Will Update As They Become Relevant, Good Person Gamzee Makara, Suicide Attempt by Proxy, Dissociation, Victim Blaming, Abusive Parents, sexually active teenagers, Underage Drinking Series: Part 1 of Monsterstuck: Suburban Catastrophe Summary: Three years ago, on John Egbert's birthday, the world ended. Three years ago, Jade Harley and Vriska Serket vanished alongside billions of others. Three years ago, the apocalypse arrived, transforming everything and revealing much that was hidden to those who remained. Three years ago, the meteors (mostly!) missed Houston, and that's where John's headed today. In Houston, Rose Lalonde searches for washed-up traces of magic, warily overseen by Kanaya and her old friend Dave. In Texas, the newly dubbed "alternatives" maintain a newfound alliance with the humans they saved--and a wary truce with the Hunter forces that once kept all these creatures of fable and fairytale a secret from the world of man. And here, in Houston, the world is about to change once again. An urban fantasy monsterstuck AU featuring the beta kids, beta trolls, and their guardians. Updates every other Saturday!

[eridude]

Johndave, davekat, johnkat OR the elusive johndavekat for the ship bingo?

Hmm what if all of them ????

JOHNDAVE

ok kings of denying your feelings for each other... ok... johndave is so made for me because i fucking love when characters are best friends to lovers and i love john and dave so much as characters on their own and even when its not romantic they are like. each others PERSON, you know? like these two are quite literally the first friendship we meet in homestuck so you know right off the bat how important it is.

i love the idea(and also essentially the canon) of these two doing the gayest things in the fucking universe together and john insists it's for the bit and dave insists it's for the irony and rose and jade are just off to the side. staring at them. knowing the truth. they know what you are.

DAVEKAT

im really sentimental about davekat because no joke they are the reason i got into homestuck. someone reblogged all of the penis oujia scene on my tumblr dash and i fucking cried laughing and so i was like "maybe i should see what this is all about" and now im 3 years deep into a hyperfixiation!!!

anyways davekat!!! canonically boyfriends canonically dating so proud of them and i really do understand why they are the fandoms most beloved ship. the interactions these two characters have are fantastic(both with each other and with other characters ABOUT each other. god i love when dave and karkat talk about each other to other characters) the classpect parallels, self-worth issues, the enemies-to-friends-to-lovers of it all... its so good.

JOHNKAT

johnkat is RIGHT IN MY BRAIN MAN. ITS UP THERE AND IT LIVES UP THERE LIKE A LITTLE CREATURE CONSTANTLY.

THE PARALLELS. the friendleader parallels. the way these two are so stupid and i KNOW vriska is johns patron troll and i love their friendship a lot too dont get me wrong but in my heart secretly karkat is johns patron troll. in my heart. secretly.

i think there is something so wonderful about how unabashedly caring john is for the people that he loves and karkat is so awkwardly caring for the people he loves and i think john needs to give karkat a hug and i think karkat needs to give john a hug BECAUSE GOD THE IDEA OF THESE TWO COMFORTING EACH OTHER... it brutalizes me. i wish i was around when johnkat stuff was more popular because im so sad they dont get more love now!! same with johndave!! Like dont get me wrong im On The Davekat Train 100% but let john also kiss boys too.

GOOD SEGUE INTO TALKING ABOUT JOHNDAVEKAT.

this is the answer everyone. let them all date. Right. Now. or i will get down on all fours and start Biting People.

they're all a different brand of emotionally constipated and oh my god could you imagine the living space. they all live in a shared apartment wall to wall with horrible movie posters and sbahj comics just taped random places and they bicker and have terrible movie nights and get really into playing stupid video games and kiss each other and ... im normal about it i swear.

[thewertsearch]

TT: When was it exactly that you read my walkthrough? GA: A While Ago [...] GA: Ive Been Experiencing Something Like GA: Impression Whiplash GA: Since That Time [...] GA: At First I Thought You Were Foolish And Incompetent TT: My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. TT: It was an honest mistake, I swear.

If you're still wondering why Rose is my favorite character, observe how she flips on a dime from an ominous justification to flirtatious self-deprecation.

GA: That Was A Very Snarky Remark That Happened Just Now GA: Stratified By Your Signature Varieties Of Insincerity Which Cut Through The Literal Meaning Of The Statement Like Colorful Ribbons GA: And The Net Intent Is Something Maddening To Try To Know GA: Its Meaning I Think Exists At The Inscrutable Nexus Of Semantic Space Where Humor Chafes Against Soft Malice GA: A Place Perhaps The Human Mind Occupies More Comfortably I Dont Know GA: Xenopsychology Isnt My Strong Suit

But trolls like Terezi and Karkat are pretty good at this sort of thing, and Alternians do, in fact, have a concept of sarcasm. Post-Hivebent, it's starting to feel like Kanaya, specifically, struggles with certain social cues.

Her mind games with Rose were sophisticated, and she put a lot of effort into puzzling them out. It occurs to me that if your first instinct is to logic your way into a friendship, maybe it's because the rules of friendship aren't intuitive to you.

Hell, it's even possible that it's Kanaya's logical approach to relationships that made her such a popular auspistice on Alternia. After all, logic in teenage relationships is in short supply.

GA: Why Dont You Put The Turtle Ruins Down GA: And Return To Your House GA: I Have Sketched Some New Outfits For You That I Think Are Nice GA: We Could Try To Make Them

That didn't work out too well last time - but I like that you're willing to try again.

Rose is in over her head, but she's no Vriska.

TT: Maybe later. GA: What If There Isnt A Later TT: Well, we already know there won't be. [...] GA: There Not Being A Later Might Happen Sooner Than You Think [...] GA: For You Specifically

Ah, shit.

[cryptid-catnip]

Is it okay for you to do A through M for Kanaya Maryam?

Yeah, that's cool :) kanaya is great

Yan!Kanaya x Reader Headcannons A-M

A: Affection - How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? Kanaya would be very affectionate, and would tend to hug you, kiss you, hold your hand and be generally very loving towards you. Now, as a Rainbow Drinker, she would do all of that, but with something additional. She loves to mark you, lightly biting you and drinking that delicious, delicious blood.

B: Blood - How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling? Kanaya is willing to get pretty damn messy, after all that Makeupkind specibus isn't just for show. If anyone tries to take you from her, they... won't be seen again. But their bisected body... let's just say that it's helping to grow the plants in her hive.

C: Cruelty - How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them? Kanaya would treat you as well as she could. You're precious to her, why would she ever mock you? You deserve the best a Jade can give, and she'll give you exactly that.

D: Darling - Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling's will? Kanaya would, as a rainbow drinker, tend to feed on you blood from time to time. She doesn't mean to hurt you (even though she sometimes does), she just loves you so much! Just Please Please Stop Crying You Have No Idea How Much Its Hurting Her.

E: Exposed - How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? Kanaya will tell you about everything. Her toxic moirailiagance with Vriska, her numerous ashen relationships with Vriska, Eridan and others, and even her being a rainbow drinker. The only things she wouldn't tell you about... is all the bodies she will and has piled up for you.

F: Fight - How would they feel if their darling fought back? Kanaya would be heartbroken. She wouldn't hurt you, but she would instead leave you alone for a couple days. She can't bring herself to hurt you, the most she can bring herself to do is just lock you in a room. Don't assume that means that it won't make up any less severe of a punishment, you won't get any food, water, be able to get a good sleep or get any interactions for as long as it lasts. But don't worry, she'll be back for you soon! <3

G: Game - Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape? To Kanaya, she would heavily dislike watching you try to escape, in no small part to the fact that her hive is smack-dab in the middle of a desert, that there are literal undead and that any escape attempt can result in your serious injury, or your death. If you escape, she'll just get madder, and mad for two reasons. The fact that you even tried to escape in the first place, and that you could have seriously endangered yourself.

H: Hell - What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? Kanaya would, if she felt the situation called for it, bring her Makeupkind specibus very, very close to you, and, swear to Jegus, she wouldn't hurt you, but you would definitely think she would. sorry i only did a-h, i had a lot of stuff going on and wanted to give something rather than nothing. i'll do a part 2 soon. i think moving forward, i'll limit alphabet hcs to 5 at a time max :/

[daedalusdavinci]

Dirkjake Fic Recs

i will be the first to admit im picky about my dirkjake, largely because i will not fucking stand for any fic where i feel like jake isnt given his just dues. jake is too fascinating and great of a character to just be that guy dirk liked. so here are my four absolute favorite dirkjake fics that i still stand by with my whole chest

The Four Kings, the God Thief, and the Black Diamond Pirates

by @oxfordroulette

Dirk and Vriska have it good. They raid ships, pillage merchant vessels, constantly poison each other, possess a lucrative pact with the Wind King, sing a lot of dope fuckin’ sea shanties, and captain a loveable crew of pirate scum. They’re ready to kick back, take it easy, and become the vile and revered scourge of the diamond trading line. Then they find someone in the water.

this has to be one of the greatest dirkjake fics ever written. oxfordRoulette excels so brilliantly at writing homestuck characters as theyre meant to be: assholes. horrible, horrible, terrible assholes. they pull no punches writing the pirates in this story to be just the most irredeemable pieces of shit and thats what makes it so goddamn good. their dialogue is hilarious, the relationship between dirk and vriska is EVERYTHING to me, and the gods are written so fucking brilliantly its impossible not to love them (predictably, i am particularly in love w dave, but theyre genuinely all so good). plus, its ILLUSTRATED, and their art is just fantastic

Wondrous Adventures of Harley, English, and Strider

by spectralPhobia

Jake English has a pretty straightforward life: he is an amateur writer who travels around the world with his twin sister Jade Harley and their dog Becquerel, thinking this is the best a life could be. Meeting Dirk Strider is only the beginning of the journey of changing his worldview, as well as an epic quest of saving the world, when spirits from an ancient legend come to life. A story about adventures, magic, conspiracy, sacrifices, smart people and clever plans, people who make mistakes, and many instances of great love. Set in a sort of steampunk world (no computer technologies, airships are a predominant way of travelling).

this is ANOTHER one of the greatest dirkjake fics ever written, but its also just one of the best homestuck fics ever written. if you liked my godstuck fics, you should DEFINITELY read this bc it inspired me a lot. the things they do w classpects are so fucking creative and while it is dirkjake its just as much a fic about jade and jake. its brilliantly fucking done, and i recommend it to absolutely everyone and anyone

A House Built

by sunflowerwonder

The Prospitian hero who seduced a foreign prince into sending his country resources. Certainly one for the history books.

medievalstuck. this one, as well as @callmearcturus's followup fic, A Spark, A Flame, A Fire, is definitely worth a read. jake is so often shafted in dirkjake fics, its a rare treasure when you find him written with quite so much care as he is in these fics. both authors have fascinating things to say about who jake is and how he communicates with people, and when it comes to arcs fic, i just LOVE how dave and rose are written, augh. theyre so fucking precious. im also a big big fan of roxy and jakes friendship! i still think about roxys little petnames for jake all the time. the derse vs prospit worldbuilding also just lives in the back of my head rent free at all times. if you liked my fic, Tactical Retreat, you should definitely read these bc god knows they totally influenced my worldbuilding

chamomile, rose water, and other unlikely intoxicants

by @callmearcturus

"I do swear by Skaia's guiding light to eschew ambition and direction to serve in the holy retinue. I will lay my head in the safety of the bower and pay penance in thought and deed. For the King of All Winters and the Undying Prince, I will provide succor and balm, and yield my being to ease the burden he carries for us all."  An off-the-cuff jamfic for the Strilondes discord that spun rapidly out of control. In which Dirk plays the role of resigned god-prince of Skaia, locked in a twisted version of the Year King fable. His life is a sorry routine until one year, he receives a very bold, strange offering from the heir to House Harley, Jake. A story about cycles, and how to break them, and the patterns left in the scattered pieces afterward.

sort of a medieval, fairytale style fic. i just love the way jake is written in this one, hes so fucking charming. the story itself and the plot is really compelling, and the worldbuilding is great! arc also just has a writing style that just sort of... flows, you know? its fucking beautiful honestly i wanted to write like that so bad

[corvinearcher]

imagine how equius first reacted to finding out vriska was missing an arm

D -- > He was a little bit disappointed in her at first haha. But afte a few Years it turned into a stupid joke to them. (He redoes her arm every year, along with anyone elses as he updates his skills : D)

( sorry it's shit quality I'm maaaaaad lazy )

I FORGOT THE FRIGGIN HORNS AGAIN DJHDGFHDRJVDJFVSDGCJFVKDVJKFHJFED I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT EVEN GONNA FIX IT I'M GOING TO EAT MY CEREAL ANGRILY AND Y'ALL CAN DEAL WITHOUT THE HORNS

[princecoolguy]

>this summer...

>the heroes of Sburb...

>are coming to the big screen 

>*cuts to Vriska voiced by Zendaya* Slaaaaaaaay!

>*Ke$ha starts playing* WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE IM P DIDDY

>*John wakes up giddy for the morning and turns off his alarm, yawns loudly and checks his iphone for messages from his friends who tell him “happy 13th birthday!” gets out of bed to go downstairs and he immediately slips and falls down the stairs

>John, voiced by Adam Sandler “aww man! they *warned* me about the stairs!”

>Cuts to Dave voiced by Chris Pratt, "just go on without me dude"

> John: “but dave, i can’t go on! i’m stuck at home! or i guess one could say… home…stuck?”

>Rose voiced by Emma Watson and Jade voiced by Anna Faris roll their eyes, sigh, and say in sync “Ugh, boys…”

>four friends will play a game

>John “rose where are we?”

>Rose “We’re on Alternia, the alien planet from our dreams.”

>John “wow… and to think i was worried about (insert basic coming of age conflict that makes up the b plot)

>and meet some new friends along the way

>Jade “wait you guys, what’s that?”

>*the 12 alternian troll kids approach them menacingly, covered in shadow. karkat is their leader, but then he comedically trips and falls on his face*

>Karkat voiced by danny devito: “WRIGGLER OF A BIII-” *his swear is censored by a loud HONK*

>John “see you next fall!”

>*karkat looks at him confusedly and john’s human friends are unamused by his joke*

>John “whoops… i forgot you don't have fall here…”

>Rose “Check your privilege, Egbert.”

>but first they have to find Jack Noir

>Jack Noir, voiced by who do you fucking think, it’s Jack Black “how do you do, fellow kids?”

>*vriska kicks him in the balls*

>“AAAAA My magic 8 balls!”

>and maybe some new hobbies…

>dave “sooo let me get this straight. we’ve spent our entire lives online, none of us have any other friends besides each other, and the only reason we met irl is because of a video game?”

>karkat “UHH… YOU GUYS NEED TO TOUCH GRASS”

>this summer…

>*montage of slapstick*

>*gamzee twerking*

>jack “aaawkward”

>we’re bringing it…

>*montage that’s pretty much the inevitable dance party ending*

>*dave beatboxing*

>karkat “LIIIIIIIIIIT”

>HOME

>Homestuck: the Movie

>coming exclusively to disney+

written with help from @striderisms

[aethulean]

its time to transcend!!!

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 190(?)

Slumber Party/The Snowmen

“Slumber Party”

Plot Description: The brothers call in IT expert Charlie to help them track fallen angels, and they all join forces with Dorothy to stop the Wicked Witch’s evil plans

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: No one died, and it was a flashback to like…the 40s maybe?

I have to ask, is this basically gonna be a bottle episode at the bunker??? I’m kinda hoping so

Crowley, babes, you have basically no leverage

I LOVE when Dean just decides he’s going to get into the nitty gritty of a machine

What is THAT?!?!

He’s so done with being around nerds (despite being one himself)

Charliiiiie “they’re in a top secret place I call Amazon” re: the spn books

Charlie, baby…you are so much better off if you don’t have a destiny or quest. In THIS show???

Gross. Did the witch from the 50s reincarnate or something??

Uh…what now?? Why’d they have to make the woman hunting the “wicked” witch named Dorothy?? And she bound her soul to the witch?

Wait. No. It’s THE Dorothy?? From THE OZ BOOKS?!?!

I cannot take this episode seriously…it’s THE Dorothy and THE Wicked Witch and a game of keep away from the witch so she can’t get back to Oz… come on

COME ON!!! She got the key??? And Charlie may have sacrificed herself for Dean? She Last-Agni-Kai-Zuko-ed for him.

They’re trying to girlbossify Dorothy and…..no……no I can’t do this

There a subplot about Sam not making this place his home and I swear to Chuck if either he or Dean say “there’s no place like home” at the end, I’m not watching any more (me when I lie, but I will be annoyed)

Scrubs did the Wizard of Oz homage episode so much better

Keep the shoes, Charlie

After everything, I can’t believe I’m still feeling bad about Crowley’s situation

Omg, Charlie gets to go to Oz. THAT is not a disappointment

Of course they said it…it wasn’t in the context I THOUGHT it would be, but they still said it…and since it wasn’t in the context I thought it would be, I GUESS I’ll continue watching

“The Snowmen”

Plot Description: Christmas Eve 1892, and the fall of snow is the stuff of fairy tales. When the fairy tale becomes a nightmare and a chilling menace threatens earth, an unorthodox young governess, Clara, calls on the Doctor for help

Oh! And I know we get Definitely-Not-Named-Vriska and Jenny back this episode!!(I think)

Child, why are you actually talking to that not yet fully made snowman??

Rude. Why does snow need to feed on people??

Doctor. What on earth are you wearing?? You have…atrocious taste in headwear

Ugh, stop doing this. Stop traveling alone. Everyone tells you not to, you’ve SEEN what it does to you but you NEVER LISTEN

VASTRA! (One of these days I’ll remember her name on my own)

“Winter is coming” shouldn’t produce such a “ah ha! I see what you did there” response in me anymore…it’s a basic phrase especially in a Christmas special

I really hope Clara grows on me this time. She’s around for a while, but she’s…a little too manic pixie dream girl and everything’s a little TOO mystical around her.

I knew I recognized the voice behind the Snowmen. I knew it was a famous old wizard. But I think Moffat missed the opportunity to give the snowmen big naturals

Why is Clara only allowed to speak in one word answers?? That is……..quite the odd requirement

Omg he’s wearing Amy’s glasses still 😭

I’m thankful they didn’t make Sherlock Holmes a real person in this. Though given this was 2012, this is just cruel…putting the Doctor in the getup (this was just 7 months after Reichenbach)

Omg. There’s too much cheesiness in these episodes today. I can abide by the Doctor not realizing he put on his bow tie but I can’t take Clara saying “it’s cooler” after, even if she’s literally talking about the temperature

They’re just too alike. They’re too….I really can’t explain it. No. It’s that they’re both so clever in the exact same way. There is no “I got the bronze in gymnastics” there’s no actively studying medicine, no deep knowledge of how office life works. All of which covers the Doctor’s blindspots

I don’t like the TARDIS’s interior renovation. The lighting is too cool. I liked the warm lighting it used to have. But a 1200 year old alien didn’t consult ME

Girl, that is the quickest you’ve ever given someone a TARDIS key wtf

It’s gotta be weirdly traumatic to watch your NEW companion be dragged off by a grayish humanoid creature in a dress when we just watched Amy get zapped by the Weeping Angels last time

It’s 2012, you can’t just have your villain yell “winter is coming” over and over

Clara repeatedly dying just doesn’t pack the same punch as when it was Rory

STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL. THE INSURANCE WONT PAY NEXT TIME

[approximateknowledge]

Choose Violence (Homestuck Edition): 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12

2: terezi is a top. in vrisrezi, vriska is the bottom and not even a powerbottom either because tz is in charge. i have no arguments that i can put in words but i know this to be truth. (vriska's a switch if you were wondering. or if you weren't im saying it anyway)

4: hm... i don't really block people for fandom reasons; and if i do it's for stuff like stridercest or other such... cursed things. don't fucking do that to my poor little coolkid

6: to me? hm... personally not a fan of pepsicola. doesn't work, im sorry. objectively speaking the answer is davekat but im one of said fans so you know...

8: (hoooooo boi; i like Ult!Dirk. he doesn't suck. i mean he does in-universe but he's not a *bad character* in the same way caliborn isn't a *bad character* despite being fucking caliborn.

(and i promise ill explain my reasoning later in a dedicated post because i have the most meta-ass wattsonian explanation for why the epilogues are *like that* and i promise it makes sense, at least in my head. until then just take my word for it (or don't im not your lusus), but i swear there's something there! somehow!))

alternatively: dove strider. she just makes sense to me. i litterally had transfem egg coolkid as my solid headcanon while reading hs blind for the first time and i fucking stand by it. litterally enters the medium by hatching an egg. symbolised by the broken sword, and the sword is a burden placed upon "him" by an abusive parental figure. DAVEPETA. i like june, don't get me wrong, but like... dove is the one who gets all the symbolism in canon!

10: turning rose into a non-character. she's a snarky mastermind with a twisted sense if humour and she deserves to do more creepy weird offputting stuff in fanon. it's rose eldritch-horror-talker lalonde dammit! give her some respect!

12: kankri; sure he's obnoxious. sure he doesn't know as much as he thinks he does. sure he gets rude by accident sometimes. but he means well! he means so fucking well. i could fix him your honour!

[homestuckrandomized]

Hey I put the names of the alpha and beta kids as well as the trolls through a grouping machine and paired them up

✨welcome to homestuck randomized✨

i swear to god there was literally no planning involved in this i think i just dived off the deep end i dont know how imma make this work hut i WILL

uh im gonna "design" the "new" characters and open them up one by one for asks and whatnot

kids will probably be first-

Cast of characters under the cut!

BETA KIDS:

Jake Egbert

Dirk Lalonde

Roxy Strider

Jane Harley

ALPHA KIDS

Jade Crocker

John/June English

Dave Lalonde

Rose Strider

BETA GUARDIANS

Nanna Egbert

Dad Lalonde

Sis Strider [OPEN]

Nana Harley

ALPHA GUARDIANS

Poppop Egbert

Pop Lalonde

Sissy Lalonde

Gramma English

TROLLS:

Gamzee Medigo

Sollux Nitram

Tavros Captor

Feferi Vantas

Vriska Leijon

Equius Maryam

Eridan Pyrope

Nepeta Serket

Kanaya Zahhak

Aradia Makara

Terezi Ampora

Karkat Peixes

[leina-reads-homestuck]

Beforus Vriska lore part 1

Been a while I wanted to write it down. First, a few words about Vriska's appearance : think of... well, the usual Vriska, only leaner, taller, without glasses, and with somehow even wilder hair than og Vriska has. I couldn't really think of anything original regarding her appearance. She wears a long black skirt.

Content warning for dubious working morals, cloning, german weapons, and probably a thousand grammar errors.

So. Beforus. Ages ago.

Your name is Vriska.

A twelve-sweeps old cerulean troll with a penchant for setting things on fire... but we'll get to that soon.

You live a relatively peaceful life on your relatively peaceful planet. Feeding your lusus would be a daunting task if she wasn't minuscule. The species of spider she belongs to has the reputation to become more and more aggressive and demanding as it grows older and larger, but you do not need to worry about it now, as she fits into the palm of your hand. You're more concerned about stopping her from getting sat on, or from eating all her spidersnacks in one go.

Imagine if you had been adopted by one of the older, massive spiders though. Haha.

You go to a Troll Academy of sorts, well it's not its real name, but it's a place where you go to learn about strategy and military tactics and stuff.

You enjoy bullying (affectionately) the Heiress, that nerd, taking long walks on the 8each and hanging out with your friends, especially that blue dude named Zahhak who promised to create a robospider for you. For now, nobody suspects the potential for misfire in your 8rain.

And speaking of fire...

Let's skip to a few sweeps later.

There's a murderer acting up in your area of residence. Fucker seems to be targeting mostly young female warmbloods, which is unfortunate, but likely doesn't concern you, and the Heiress - now Empress - has promised she would deploy all the resources she can to catch the culprit.

Sadly, it remains elusive.

Then one day, of your chambermaids (with whom you were... well... intim8) becomes his target.

She manages to escape, but is wounded.

That's when you see red. Forget about the army of robospiders you had kindly requested from Zahhak - you're gonna need something that's more uh, impactful.

Yeah, that'll do.

Your caste duties require you to take care of warmer castes, which you find quite boring, except when a troll close to you gets hurt - you also possess unusually high empathy levels for someone of your rank (not that all ceruleans are assholes, but...), and the suffering your chambermaid has gone through has left quite the imprint on your mind.

Time for revenge.

And thus, armed with this weapon and after using your charm convincing another of your chambermaids to serve as a decoy, you finally manage to locate the fucker and 8laze his arse.

Yay.

Then you move on to local troll gang members, because they've been pissing you off too, and then to basically anyone who's trying to pick a fight with you.

You don't always burn your adversaries to death, because your weapon has adjustable settings and allows you to pick the cooking temp, so to speak.

Right when you ponder about becoming a bounty hunter, it's your turn to be arrested, because you've made excessive use of an unauthorized weapon to set trolls on fire, as well as the occasional clown church (it was a mistake, you swear), and that's against the law.

[thewertsearch]

CC: If you're as sickened by t)(em as you say, w)(y do you spend so muc)( time on land? CC: You can't )(ave t)(e sort of affinity for "our kind" t)(at you profess if you've only spent, w)(at... CC: A few days underwater, maybe? IN YOUR W)(OL-E LIF-E!

Eridan is the first troll we’ve seen to have a mobile hive, albeit one in dire need of repair. I assumed he had a more permanent home underwater, though.

What’s keeping him on the surface? Do we have another mutant on our hands - a sea-dweller who can’t survive in the sea? 

CC: If t)(ey are beneat)( you t)(en t)(ey )(ave to die too. CC: And I know you like talking to some of t)(em. You say you )(ate t)(em but I t)(ink you are pretending! CA: history is full of cases wwhere conquerers consort wwith members of the enemy in a mannerly wway before wwipin them out CA: evven goin as far as growwin fond a some

Eridan hasn’t addressed the realities of what he’s trying to do - and I’m increasingly confident that he’s not actually trying to do it. Most of the other trolls are constantly performing, so why would he be any different? 

His intro seems to confirm his violent intentions, but I think the wording is misleading. Sure, he swears that he’ll kill all land dwellers, but it’s not stated that he intends to do so. He’s looking for a doomsday device, but we don’t know if he plans to use it. 

My main theory is still that he’s moirail fishing - and if he’s not, I don’t know what his angle is. 

CA: i dont knoww wwhy she ignores me i guess shes just bored wwith me CA: wwe had it all set up for her to givve me this thing tonight that probably doesnt evven wwork but yeah maybe that wwasnt the point CA: i mean you think wwe havve a pretty good rivvalry goin right CA: or at least had CA: it wwas pretty fuckin bitter and contentious for a wwhile there and there wwas some good chemistry i dont knoww wwhat happened

Sounds like Eridan and Vriska were courting each other for a black romance, but Vriska lost interest, setting her sights on Tavros instead. 

Tavros seems to have rejected Vriska - or at least, I hope he has - so maybe she’s going to return to her old flame. 

CC: You leave not)(ing left to talk about wit)( your dear sweet moirail! CC: We are supposed to )(elp eac)( ot)(er wit)( t)(at stuff too, remember.

I had assumed that the positive effect a moirallegiance has on your relationships was indirect - that a pale relationship would make you more emotionally stable, and thus, more desirable in the other quadrants. 

Feferi, though, is taking a more direct approach. She seems to want to be Eridan’s matchmaker, which is a facet of moirallegiance we haven’t seen before. We just read ten pages on quadrants, but we’re still learning more.