#wall crab spider

[onenicebugperday]

@plasma-sky submitted: Hi there! I was hoping you could help me identify this little cutie? I see some of them find their way indoors from time to time. But I've never been sure what kind of spider they were. Found in [removed]. (But could the location be removed please? :D)

Thank you! I love your blog by the way. So many cute bugs!

Hello! Thank you! This lil friend is a wall crab spider in the genus Selenops :)

[denydestiny-doodles]

spider-crab, a spider-man inspired character. basic info on the goldenrod crab spider, powers, and suit under the readmore

the goldenrod crab spider uses venom more than webs and is usually white but can change to yellow to camouflage itself when hunting. it also has a stripey thing on it's side that changes color based on what it eats. some use silk behind them to make movement easier. these spiders hunt on flowers and take on bugs much bigger than them. they're typically found on pasture roses or goldenrods. there's more i could say, but that's what matters for the initial concept

the outfit is basically 60's spidermans. poses here are somewhat freeform but also from an assortment of comic panels. there's a lack of the iconic spiderman webbing on the suit because this spider doesn't really do webs. the emblem is meant to mimic a crab. because of the crab spider. the back of the suit is all red, also.

putting that all together... spider-crab uses web-slinging for swinging about, and/or uses the silk from afar to sort of mimic sonic's homing attack if you know that.

venom can stun enemies for a short time, and camouflage stylistically makes spider-crab's suit turn yellow, but actually makes them nearly invisible? i'd think you could sort of see them move if you squinted, but they're basically invisible. you would see the green of venom mode though, even if they were camouflaging.

also, i know venom is the biting kind of poison but the fingertips turning green seems cool to me

i think spider-crab usually starts off camouflaged. lots of interior monologues, they don't talk until the camouflage drops. said camouflage can probably be forced to drop if they're hit hard enough in a fight, or if they lose composure/get too nervous

this was for fun, so i do not know who's under the suit. i may also use this in another project at some point?

[aromanticannibal]

just found the spider crab im. I'm so terrified

[howtofightwrite]

If a character can manipulate points of gravity (up becomes down, left is down, right is down for yhe duration of the scene) and essentially be a spiderman without the spider webs by getting to run up buildings, and essentially be fighting in a more 3-d space...anything worth commenting on? I think what I'm trying to ask is what should one take into account when it's possible to have fight scenes in three dimensional ways. I recall that you wrote a post about how sea battles would technically look nothing like land battles considering the environmental difference of enemies coming at *all* directions.

That's not, really, “all directions.” For one thing, they don't have to worry about your character phasing through solid objects. It's also not going to be as effective as the web shooters for avoiding fire.

One of the quirks of Spiderman is that he doesn't, and really can't, travel in a straight line. He travels in a series of arcs, and while those arcs are predictable, it's much harder to lead your shots when he can jerk away in a different direction with almost no warning.

This is in contrast to characters with gravity manipulation based flight, who tend to travel in straight lines.

The issue with a battle in the sea comes from this basic concept. If you're a mile underwater in the Pacific, it is quite likely that there is another four miles of water below you, with the nearest land thousands of miles away. There is no cover.

Somewhat obviously, an urban environment offers a lot more cover. Your character can come in around buildings, drop from above.

What's significantly more disturbing is the prospect of your character being able to alter gravity for others. Causing someone to “fall” away into traffic or the sky is probably far more horrifying than the idea that they could run up a wall. Though, I suppose it's important to never underestimate the sheer pants shitting terror one can inflict by crab-walking across the ceiling towards your preferred prey.

Of course if you're manipulating gravity, then it stands to reason you may be able to add or subtract the gravity. It's one thing to sneak up on a mobster and propel him into the sky at 9.8m/s2. It's another thing to casually create a small gravity well inside his brain and crush his skull. Or, an anti-gravity spike and explode him like a forgotten microwave burrito.

It should go without saying by this point, but this power set can get really messy.

It's also worth remembering, this is one of those power sets that are just as dangerous to the user as their foes. Hopping from one building to another while flicking gravity mid flight could very easily result in broken bones and a really unpleasant landing. Unless they also have some pretty significant kinetic resistances, this is probably not something they'd want to use as a travel power (unless they're carefully tuning it to create fight.) Otherwise, inertia is their greatest foe.

To be honest, wall climbing is a slightly strange choice for a primary travel power. Yes, it is a viable choice, but using those same powers to take flight is going to be much less risky.

-Starke

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[akq96618]

[ king ohger oc ]

i think i should make a proper post abt them, so here it is!

(thx a lot to @ponopyonq for reading my rambles about them, i keep doubting myself to post them but i got encouraged by you ;-; ily bro)

------

Selen (Selen Idmonarak ne Brasieri Hastie)

-Son of Gira and Jeramie -his name based from Selenopidae (wall crab spiders), i love how it's eyes described as 'resemble the moon'

-calls jeramie by papa and gira by toto (shorts of otou-san, but as he grow up he called gira by otou-san)

-everyone's friend <3

-spent most of his time at shugoddam, but sometimes he visited bugnarak cave.

-loves reading encyclopedia, esp. about animals and insects

-his bugnarak hand can't shoot spiderweb, but he's agile and good at climbing

-also good at hiding (either his feelings or hiding for hide and seek-)

-jeramie's bedtime story is his favorite, especially story of the ohsama sentai

-his close friends are buun (as his right hand) and diabolica (pao's oc!!!)

brief idea of selen here!

Takane (Takane Dybowski-Hastie)

-Daughter of Racles and Suzume

-her name based from takane-ruri kuwagata (platycerus sue imura)

-Older twin

-truly women of toufu

-nobody knows what's inside her mind (except Mitsuba)

-she has no interest on being king or succesor

-she pursued medical studies at ishabana instead

-calls everyone by '-chan' (selen---ren-chan, mitsuba---micchan, rion--ricchan)

-friends with Rion. Since they shared the same interest on fashion

Mitsuba (Mitsuba Dybowski-Hastie )

-Son of Racles and Suzume

-His name based from Mitsubachi (honeybee)

-Younger twin

-admires his father and sometimes help his job as chikyuu's 'tool'

-mitsuba and takane calls racles by otou-sama and suzume by okaa-sama

-loves to eat, but never gained a lot of weight

-kaguragi's student, maybe soon to be succesor

-really excel at talking and persuade others, esp. after being kagu's student

-Selen is like a little brother to him, not just his cousin

-pretty chill and not as energetic as his twin sister, but he'll show his scary side to those who disrespect his family (including those who badmouthed selen and giramie)

brief ideas of hastie-dybowski twins here!

Rion

-Yanma's pupil -go by they/them

-their name based from coenagrion puella (azure damselfly)

-around the same age as dybowski-hastie twins

-for some reasons, the Nkosopaz raised them since they're 6 yrs old and Yanma took them as his pupil

-their relationship with yanma is kinda like yanma and gin. Sometimes they'd fight, but Rion respect him a lot, actually

-closest to shiokara and usuba

-only use honorifics to shiokara

-actually they don't really care abt their gender, ("what's important is being the coolest ever and aiming to the top!!!!" -rion, perhaps)

-even if with no shugod soul, they create their own shugod for transportation (it's a damselfly, ofc)

-had a crush on mitsuba-

lol they're fun to draw

also last one, their dynamic chart! (?)

[sanguineterrain]

get a little action in | miguel o'hara

Summary: Spider-Man doesn't like you. And for the record? You're not crazy about him either. But you kind of wish you could see his eyes when he swings you across the city. For curiosity's sake.

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x gn!reader (some Spanish language is female-gendered, but other than that, no gendered descriptions.)

Word count: 2.2k

Content desc: rivals, superhero!reader (kinda - they're trying their best). miguel's a bit of a jerk ngl but he's a SEXY jerk <3 very enemies to lovers coded. swapped insults, injuries, and a whole lot of charged flirting. (lyla thinks they're adorable.)

A/N: i actually think this fic is the closest i've gotten to miguel's canon personality compared to my previous (delusional) characterizations of him lol. hope you guys like this one! as always, i appreciate corrections to the Spanish if needed, but it's no one's responsibility to do so!

Translations: 

¡Chingada madre! - Motherfucker!

¡Pinche pendeja! - Fucking asshole!

¡No mames! Eres una idiota. - I don't believe this! You're an idiot.

¡Cállate, por Dios! - Shut up, oh my God!

¡Ay, coño! ¿Qué demonios haces? - Oh, fuck! What the hell are you doing?

¿Qué? ¿Qué quieres? - What? What do you want?

¿Estás loca? ¿De dónde sacas esas ideas? - Are you crazy? Where do you get these ideas?

No seas estúpida. - Don't be stupid.

Porque tu haces un desmadre. Eres un dolor en el culo. - Because you make a mess. You're a pain in the ass.

Ve. - Go.

follow @sanguine-marvel for all future miguel fic notifications!

“All units be advised: 10-33 on 10th and Palisade. Suspect is known as “Captain Darkness.” Approach with caution.”

You shove the police scanner into your bag and stash it in the alley by your apartment. You’re close to 10th and Palisade, and the cops have lost Nueva York’s newest supervillain, Captain Darkness, three times already. For all the mocking headlines the press write about him, he sure seems to be the one laughing every time.

You pull your mask over your face as you make your way to the abandoned factory on 10th and Palisade. It looks normal from the outside, but the code means there’s been an explosion. 

Probably best to enter through the back. 

It’s dark, because supervillains like to nail the atmosphere, and that means there’s no budget for lighting. The factory smells damp, moldy. You hope you don’t get sick. Vigilantism doesn’t come with health insurance.

You stay close to the wall, ears tuned for any sounds. Usually, a good villain would have clocked your entrance by now. The fact that Captain Darkness (a stupid-ass name for a stupid-ass villain) hasn’t—

BRIIIING! BRIIIING!

Alarms blare throughout the factory. Your ears ring from the volume. 

Okay. Maybe you’ve underestimated him.

You run; stealth doesn’t matter now, only speed. Captain Darkness is, predictably, at the center of the factory. He has all the typical workings of a mad scientist: electric ball thingy, giant lie detector-looking thingy, et cetera. You go up the stairs of his platform to get closer.

Except there’s something you’ve never seen before. It sort of resembles a portal. Fuck.

Captain Darkness spots you immediately. He has giant crab legs fused to the lower half of his body, which you’d think were sick if he wasn’t such a jagoff. 

“Well, hello,” he says, sneering down at you. “I don’t believe we’ve met. Are you one of the Spiderlings?”

“I’m offended by the suggestion,” you say, darting towards the electric ball first. 

It looks easy enough to shut off, except the Captain blocks your path immediately. He knocks you across the platform. You cough at the impact. The concrete bruises your right temple.

“Alright, that’s it.” You grunt, pushing yourself up. “Now I’m gonna kick your ass for real.”

The Captain laughs. “By all means, hit me with your best shot.”

So you do. You manage to knock him backwards, his clunky crab legs sliding on the platform. You take the opening and shut off one machine, which causes a crackle of electricity in the air. The hair on your arms rises.

But being a mad crab scientist apparently means you have a lot of time on your hands, and Captain Darkness whips out what looks like a ray gun. He blasts you and knocks you off the platform. You hit your ribs hard, and your vision blurs for a second.

The portal begins to whir, warming up. Captain Darkness towers over you, grinning maniacally.

“Your efforts are adorable, but I suggest you find another line of work. No one will stop me from opening a portal. Once I venture to other worlds, I’ll be unstoppable. This world will be mine! Finally, everyone who ever—”

“Oh my God,” you groan, clutching your ribs. “Please don’t start monologuing. Do you know how cliche you sound right now? Blah blah blah, your parents didn’t give you enough attention so you’re insecure and power-hungry. Do I look like Dr. Phil to you?”

His eyes flash and one crab leg grabs a nearby tool cart. 

“You’re no longer amusing me,” he says. "Goodbye." 

The tool cart is flung in your direction, and you roll, covering your head and bracing for the worst. But the crash never comes. You look to see several orange webs wrapped around the cart. The cart flies backwards and hits Captain Darkness right in his face.

Miguel O’Hara lands on the railing of the platform, perched gracefully. He doesn’t waste a second in going after the Captain.

“Oh, where did you even come from?” you shout, pushing yourself to stand. “I have it handled!”

“I’m not dignifying that with a response,” Miguel growls as he easily dodges the Captain’s grasp. 

He swings to the other side, aiming for the portal which has now fired up. 

Perfect. Damn it, it should be you that J. Jonah Jameson will scream about on the news tomorrow morning, not Spider-Dorito. 

You force yourself to get up so you can try to apprehend the Captain. But he has other plans; one of the machines sparks, and suddenly, hundreds of flying crab-shaped robots pour out of the mouth of the portal. Miguel shouts orders to Lyla. 

You’re only interested in one thing: taking down Captain frickin’ Darkness. So you go after him, leaving the factory. Unfortunately, the crab-bots take that as an invitation to leave too, zeroed in on your destruction. Your ribs are killing you, and whatever the Captain blasted you with left a nasty gash on your hip. 

Still, you limp and pant through the pain. You’re not letting this guy get away a fourth time. No way. Captain Darkness has been a thorn in Nueva York’s side for several weeks now and you’ve been tracking him for just as long. You need to get him.

“¡Chingada madre!”

You glance over your shoulder and see a flash of blue and red. Miguel is right behind you, fighting through the cluster of crab-bots. The sight makes your blood boil.

“Fuck off!” you wheeze out. “He’s mine, O’Hara!”

“If you hadn’t stumbled in and screwed everything up, we wouldn’t even be in this situation right now!” he snarls. “¡Pinche pendeja!”

Fucking Spider-Man. It’s because of him that Nueva York doesn’t even know who you are. Every time you get remotely close to taking down a criminal, Miguel swoops in and saves the day. Not without giving you grief, of course. You’re too weak, too disorganized, too slow—you’re too wrong, according to him. He’s told you multiple times to stay away, but hey, he should know by now you’re also too stubborn to listen.

You pull your hand away from your rib. It’s tacky with blood. You’re slowing down, too; you aren’t enhanced like a hero is supposed to be, and after going two rounds with Captain Crabcake, it seems you’re about to meet your untimely fate with killer crustacean robots. 

You really should’ve become a lawyer like your mother wanted.

“¡No mames! Eres una idiota.”

You feel Miguel’s breath on your neck before his arm curls around your waist. You cry indignantly but he doesn’t let go, heaving you into his grip and continuing to run.

“Let go of me!” you demand, wiggling in his grip.

“Shut up.”

“I don’t need you to save me,” you snap.

He looks down at you, red masked eyes burning into you.

“No? ‘Cause every time you screw up, I’m the one fixing your mess. How many times have I told you to go home?”

“I had it under control,” you say. 

Miguel doesn’t even look at you. Your injuries are jostled with every step and you have to fight to not whine in pain. But you don’t try to squirm away again. You’re no match for his strength, and, unfortunately, he’s a lot faster than you. If you want to live, Miguel’s your ride. 

“Lyla, find me a route.”

Lyla pops up on Miguel’s other shoulder. She leers at you, raising her eyebrows.

“Am I interrupting something?” she asks. 

“Lyla. Route, now.” 

“Alright, alright,” she says, sounding far too smug. “Might I suggest going airborne?”

Your fingers dig into Miguel’s giant shoulder as he flings a web string at a nearby fire escape. He shifts you to one arm. Your eyes pop out of your head.

“No, wait, I have a terrible fear of—”

He doesn’t wait, the asshole, and you scream as he pulls both of you up. Now you’re bleeding, clinging to the worst person in the world, and at least two hundred feet off the ground. Somehow, killer crab-bots would’ve been better. 

“¡Cállate, por Dios!” he shouts, jerking his head away from you. “Unless you want me to drop you.”

“I’m gonna kill you, O’Hara,” you say, closing your eyes. “I’m gonna—oh, God.” You swallow hard, feeling dizzy. “I think I’m gonna hurl.”

“Do not throw up on me.”

You peek over his shoulder, trying not to watch the buildings blur by. That’s when you spot the army of robots behind you. And they look mad.

“Shit, shit!” you hiss, jolted out of your nausea. 

You reach down Miguel’s broad back, feeling for the nifty little gadgets you know he keeps on him.

“¡Ay, coño! ¿Qué demonios haces?”

He swats at your wandering hands. You smack him back.

“I’m trying to save us, if you don’t mind!”

“Do not touch anything—” he starts.

A bot whizzes by, firing at you both. Miguel wobbles on the next swing, trying to fight off the bot. 

“Lyla, three o’clock!” you yell.

Tiny rockets fire from Miguel’s suit, taking out several bots. There’s too many, though; you need another plan.

“Lyla, run diagnostics on the bots,” you say, grunting as Miguel swings sharply around a corner.

“Lyla, don’t do anything I don’t tell you to,” Miguel says. “She’s not yours to—”

“Water,” Lyla interrupts, understanding where your brain is. “They malfunction in water.”

“Huh. That’s ironic.”

Ahead, the waterfront is quickly coming into view. You pinch Miguel’s shoulder. He hisses, his suit’s eyes narrowing at you. 

“¿Qué? ¿Qué quieres?”

“The Hudson,” you say. 

“I can’t just dive into the river, we’ll both—”

“Use me as bait,” you say. 

“¿Estás loca? ¿De dónde sacas esas ideas?”

“I pull them out of my butt,” you say, rolling your eyes.

“You couldn’t even destroy the portal,” he says scathingly. “I’m not throwing you into the river, tempting as that is.”

“You don’t have a better idea, smartass. And unless you want them tearing up Manhattan, you’ll do it.”

“No seas estúpida,” he says. 

“Can’t help it. It’s one of my superpowers.”

Miguel lands on a rooftop. He drops you none too carefully, and you land hard on your butt. You grunt, the movement squishing your injury. 

“Lyla,” Miguel says.

“Yup,” she says, popping up on your shoulder and scanning your body. “Bruised ribs, and a gash right on top. If you wrap it, they’ll be fine.”

Miguel takes out a bandage and tears the top off. You’ve seen them before; they’re of his own creation, and used widely by his Spider Society. Never on civilians, which is what you are, according to him.

He crouches and shoves your suit up, then wraps the bandage around your stomach. The wrapping begins to expand and you feel the sting of cold gel. He yanks your suit back down without a word.

“I’m sure my ribs are broken,” you say through a wheezy exhale.

“Nope! Just bruised. You really shouldn’t fall from those kinds of heights,” Lyla says cheerily.

“Yeah, you were definitely programmed by him,” you mutter.

You start to get up. 

“Don’t even think about it,” Miguel says. 

“Screw you.”

“You living here screws me enough.”

“I don’t need your help! Why can’t you stay in your own damn lane, O’Hara?”

“Porque tu haces un desmadre. Eres un dolor en el culo.”

“The feeling is mutual,” you say through gritted teeth. “And you can’t stop me from going after him.”

His suit’s eyes narrow. Quick as anything, he flings two webs over your wrists. You squawk, now glued to the pavement.

“This is illegal!” you screech, twisting your wrists. “Let me go!”

“Stay out of my way,” Miguel says. “I won’t save your ass next time.”

You glare up at him, still breathing hard. It only makes you angrier that Miguel hasn’t broken a sweat.

“I hope those bots tear up the Spider Society!” you say. “I hope—I hope your suit malfunctions and the whole city sees your ass.”

Miguel pauses, and turns around. 

“Uh, Miguel?” Lyla asks. “The murder robots? Kinda urgent.”

“Tell Jess to go downtown and cut them off there.”

“But—” 

“Ve.”

He stands over you. You fling your legs up, trying to get a kick in, but he quickly puts a stop to that, resting a heavy foot on both of your ankles. 

Miguel bends down. You burn with curiosity about how he looks under the mask. It’s twisted of you to wonder, considering what an arrogant jerk he is. You could fill several encyclopedias with Miguel O’Hara’s worst traits. 

Still, you wonder. You wonder what color his eyes are. If his hair is short or long. If he smiles at all. His expression when you get under his skin.

You’d learned his real name by accident. Whether he knows your identity or not, you don’t know. You wonder if he has to stop himself from saying your name.

“You’re lucky I don’t web that dirty mouth of yours,” Miguel says, his face inches from yours. “I’ve been considering it.”

You lift your chin.

“You think about my mouth a lot, O’Hara?”

He jerks back, like you’ve startled him. He stands, turning around.

“Don’t let me see you out here again,” he says.

“Wait!” you cry. “What about the webs?!”

Miguel shoots a web towards the street.

“What about them? You don’t need my help, remember?”

Then he’s gone. 

Fucking Spider-Man.

[silent-raven13]

I'm Hobie Brown and...

Every so often when a new group of Spider-heroes come in, some of the original Spider-heroes would introduce themselves. One who is always the loudest one to start off the controversy with Miguel O'Hara.

"This wanker had the whole Spider Society chasing after a fifteen year old boy about four or five years ago!" Hobie spoke to the new comers, "And he's still running this place."

"Wait, a 15 year old boy?" A new Spider-woman with a West African pattern designs around her suit asked being confused at the leader of the organization.

"Brown!" Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose, "How many times do I have to tell you to stop bringing that up?"

"Not until, this place goes down under, mate! We as a Spider-people shouldn't have to follow rules, and order!" The punker swing from one part of the office to another. "We are to break the system, not follow who does this and that!"

"Ohhh!" The young Spider-heroes awed, some even taking notes.

Miguel shake his head with his eyes widen, "Wait, wait, don't write that. What are you guys doing? Don't listen to him! Este pinche cabrón!" Already giving up from Hobie's annoying introduction.

Miles came into the office holding bags of lunch, while sipping his slushy. He didn't have his mask on, "Whoa, looks like he already got the new comers into him, huh tio?"

"Morales? What are you doing here?" Miguel looks over to find the nineteen year old standing by the platform.

"I brought lunch for Gwen and Pav!" Miles holds one of the bags up in the air. "Where are they?"

"Over here!" Gwen uses her web to get the bag and pulled up to the ceiling. Miguel and Miles looks over to find them sitting at one of the edges talking.

"When did you guys come in?" Miguel asked out loud, "This room isn't for hanging out! It's a place of business, to group and prepare for missions! Ay, DIOS ayúdame!"

"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah! A place of "business"." Pav rolled his eyes under his mask with air quoting, "We get it, Miguel! This place is our new favorite spot, now!"

Gwen laughs along Pav, "Yeah, dude. We like the vibe here. Ohhh, they gave us extra Crab Rangoons!" She peaked in the bag to find extra items, "Yum! I was so craving for Chinese food!" The two walks over to one of the bulky vertical walls to sit and eat in peace.

"And I don't believe in ruthless dictatorships under this organization!" Hobie's voice rings their ears.

Miles could only laugh at his boyfriend's long rants against the hierarchy and government. Miguel placed his hands on his hips with his head down, "Miles go get your novio before I pop a blood vessel."

"Come on, tio. You know, he does this all the time. You should get use to it." He giggles hearing his boyfriend's voice, his lips part away from his plushie, "See, almost done."

"Morales." A warning from the Big Boss.

"Okay. Okay." Miles turns toward the group and said out loud, "Mi amor, I brought lunch!"

"And that's my cue to leave, mates! I hope you all learn about the conspiracies of this place!" Hobie got up on one of the tables and swing over to his boyfriend. "Hello, luv!" He took off his mask to give Miles a big kiss on the cheek, "You got our food."

"Yup, Indian today! I got the curry you like with some garlic naan." His boyfriend happily said.

Pav said, "It better be authentic Indian!"

"In this cafeteria? How?" Gwen snorted at him.

"Huh, true! Nevermind!" Pav shouted out loud.

Gwen leans over at Pav without her mask on, "Hey, you know what will be funny?"

"Ohh, what?" Her friend leans in to listen her whispers. "Ohhh, that's a good one!"

The wavy haired Spider-man spoke out, "Hey Hobie! Did you even started your intro? You forgot to mention you don't like the AM or the PM!"

"A la puta madre! NO! Don't you start, Brown!" Miguel was about to give his own explanation about their caused.

"I almost forgot." Hobie grins widely loving making Miguel pissed off.

"Bae, we're supposed to have lunch together." Miles pouts having to sway side to side to at least help his boss from his boyfriend's long rants.

"I will. Enjoy with Gwen and Pav, Sunflower!"

"Miles, come up here!" Gwen quickly said having her hand gesturing him to come up to where they are sitting.

Miles climbs up giving an apologetic look towards Miguel. The older Spider-man could only sigh from frustration. The nineteen year old Spider-man sat next to his blond friend, "What's up?"

"You know, how Hobie likes to claim he doesn't believe in a lot of stuff... so I got this idea." She giggles.

"Huh oh." Miles grins, "What kind of thing your pulling?"

"Nothing. I swear, this will be fun!" Gwen leans over to whisper in Miles' ears.

"Ohhh, I see." He smiles widely.

Hobie stood on a table beginning his intro, "I'm Hobie Brown, when I’m not playing shows, antagonizing fascists, staging unpermitted political action slash performing art pieces. OR, having a laugh at the pub with the mandem. I'm not a role model, I was briefly a runway model. I hate the AM, I hate the PM, I hate labels!" He kicks off some items on the tables only to piss off Miguel more. "I'm not a hero, because calling yourself a hero makes you a self-mythologizing narcissistic autocrat! Like this gentlemen over there!" He eyes on the leader of Spider Society.

"Pinche pendejo!" Miguel mutters lowly, saw the new-comers were writing everything down, "Don't write that down!"

"So you don't believe in labels?" A Spider-man asked wearing a tobe with his own Middle Eastern designs.

Another one with a nerdy voice spoke up wearing a futuristic Cyber-Punk Spiderman outfit, "Yeah, you hate all labels!"

"I. Hate. All. LABELS."

"Really!" Gwen spoke up out loud, "All labels, mate?"

"All, Gwendy!"

"Even if I say if this is a chopsticks?" She holds her chopsticks

"Yup!" Hobie said proudly, "I can say those are forks! I don't believe in none. None what's so ever."

"Not even if I say the sky is blue!" Pav asked out loud.

"I can say it's Red!" Hobie said as a matter of fact, "All about being chaotic. Keep stirring the pot." He wasn't aware of his boyfriend standing next to him with his hands behind his back being adorable.

"Even if there's a police caution tape?" Gwen asked out loud.

"I'll rip the bloody thing off! No one can tell me what to do! I am Hobie Brown!" Hobie spoke up, "Not gonna let a pig tell me what to do or say!"

The new Spider-heroe 'Ooohhhed' and 'Ahhhed' at him seeing how inspiring he is to be his own Spider-man. That's something they need to work on. "No, don't listen to him. He's only saying this to start trouble." Miguel began.

"But that's what a dictator would say." A new-comer Spider-man said slowly, they all were eyeing him.

"I like this lad's way of thinking." The punker chuckles lowly seeing how annoyed and mad Miguel looks. When he turns around to go to eat with his friends, he blinks in surprised to find his boyfriend next to him, "Luv, what are you doing down here?"

"Bae..." Miles's lips twisted into a wide smirk, "You said you hate all labels."

"Yes, luv. You know this."

"But," He cutely pouts with his bottom lip popping out a bit more, "that means you don't believe in us. So we're not in a relationship?" Having fake tears! "You think of us as nothing?"

The new-comers all went, "Ohhhh."

"No! No, luv! I never meant it that way." Hobie said out loud with worried going over to hug him.

"But-but..." Miles frowns, "That means you don't like it when I called you baby or mi amor?"

"No, I do! I believe in whatever YOU SAY, luv." Hobie said having to comfort his boyfriend.

"Really? So if I say the sky is Green?" Miles asked innocently.

"The sky is green!"

Miguel rolled his eyes, "Oh brother..." He thought to himself.

"And if I say we're in a relationship?"

"We are in a relationship, Sunflower!" Hobie picks up his boyfriend in bridal style, "Only my darling Sunflower words matter to me." He kisses Miles' cheek.

"So you do believe in labels?" One Spider-person said.

"Only what my Sunflower says! I'm Hobie Brown and I'm in a happy relationship with my boyfriend, Miles and the sky is green." He kisses his boyfriend on the lips. Miles giggles with that response while their friends laughs.

[theresattrpgforthat]

THEME: The Locked Tomb

I’m in love with The Locked Tomb Series by Tamsyn Muir, and I know I’m not the only one! For that I am extremely grateful, because there’s quite a few ttrpg designers who also love The Locked Tomb, and have designed games meant to evoke the themes or setting of the novels. Here’s a few of my favourites!

The Serpent and the Spider, by Junk Food Games.

The Serpent and The Spider is a tiny ttrpg for 2 players. One player takes the role of The Serpent, a charismatic sword-wielder. The other player takes the role of The Spider, a highly intelligent necromancer.

Your souls are bonded together. You will fight against corrupt corporations and explore your relationship.

Note that this game has references to violence, death, combat, and implied self-harm. To play the game, you need something to write with, two 4-sided dice, and two 8-sided dice.

I’ve talked about this game before as a duet game. This is probably the best game for exploring the relationship between a necromancer and their cavalier, because it’s designed to be played just between two people. It includes 9 session prompts (again, a tribute to the Nine Houses), and presents you with a setting that is inspired by The Locked Tomb while still allowing you as a pair to fill in details that will make the game work for you.

Thirsty Space Necromancers, by Understory Games.

Thirsty Space Necromancers is a Thirsty Sword Lesbians supplement based on The Locked Tomb books by Tamsyn Muir. It's Gideon the Ninth as a Powered by the Apocalypse RPG.

You play as Necromancers and Cavaliers in a space-faring culture. Paired and trained to fight together, you will solve mysteries and fight ghosts, and probably other necromancers, as you explore new planets. 

This is a game that requires another game to run, but considering the tagline of Gideon the Ninth as “Lesbian Necromancers in Space”, Thirsty Sword Lesbians sounds like another great match for this kind of game. TSL focuses on love and relationships, and is also great for telling grand, epic stories. I’m interested in the additional rules to add the Dead to your game, as well as how the game plays when each player has a counterpart that they’re responsible for and/or devoted to, especially since multiple players can choose The Cavalier, while each Necromancer playbook is separate.

(Understory Games also has a collection of Locked Tomb fan rpgs, where I got most of my recommendations from!)

Heart of the Emperor, by deathmeetauthor.

Heart of the Emperor is a hack of Monsterhearts 2, centred in Tamsyn Muir's The Locked Tomb series. Rather than playing a cohort of teenagers who are secretly monsters, you may be playing a soldier of the Cohort, a teenager, or openly be a monster—perhaps even all three!

The characters of Gideon the Ninth etc. are lonely, brokenhearted, and struggle to communicate their needs and feelings, all of which are perfect for a Monsterhearts game. As with many Powered by the Apocalypse games, the focus is on how the characters relate to each-other, whether that means getting into fights, horribly misinterpreting what your crush/rival says, or uncovering deliciously horrifying secrets that will fundamentally change how you see the world. The scope of this game will be more personal than Thirsty Sword Lesbians - the future of the world isn't quite as important as your future with the the people around you.

The Empire Undying, by Glaive Guisarme Games.

You climb aboard the shuttle which is intended to convey you off this dingy planet. Embedded in the metal walls of the shuttle are bones, sun-bleached and carved with innumerable runes of protection. The only seats in the shuttle seem comfortable enough, although they have the familiar texture of human-flesh leather, tattooed over and over in a crabbed, spiky hand.

It fucking sucks. Just an abysmal experience, and the chairs make your ass hurt after like ten minutes. But if you’re going to be a necromancer there’s a whole, like, aesthetic to deal with. 

Hope you like skulls, fucker.

There are two sorts of people that matter in the decrepit star empire: the necromancers who create the undead abominations upon whose skeletal backs civilization rests, and the knights whose sword duty is to defend the necromancers from undead abominations which aren't behaving right now. 

In this game, you will play a group of necromancers and knights, stuck in some corner of the vast empire, attempting to solve a mystery that is, in turn, attempting to kill you all. The bad kind of "kill," the sort you don't bounce back from. Explore ancient sites and forgotten ruins, unravel conspiracies which have endured for millennia, and make out with one another, because you are hot and hurt and surrounded by bones so you have to get that tension out somehow. 

Tone-wise, this game slaps. Mechanically, I like that it’s not too complex (it borrows from Lasers and Feelings) while still leaning into the number 9, which is heavily significant in The Locked Tomb. It has players explore relationships, while not necessarily expecting them to pair up - instead, you have to decide how another person’s character has power over you, which also feel so much like The Locked Tomb (think about Dulcinea’s relationship to Gideon, or the relationship between the Fifth House and the Fourth House). There’s so much to this game and it’s not even that big! If you want something that feels like it was written by Gideon herself, I’d definitely recommend checking this out.

In Extremis, by Keganexe.

In Extremis is a tabletop roleplaying game designed for 2-6 players, about fighting back the man using necromancy, that uses the LUMEN system by Spencer Campbell. Inspired by The Locked Tomb trilogy, players take on the role of exceptionally powerful witches who use their mastery of life, death, and the human condition to keep them and their own safe from other planetary invaders who want to steal their land.

As a Necromancer, you are one of a handful of hideously powerful death witches that protect the planet Hecate, the final holdout for The Coven, from the ever encroaching war of the Corvus Dominion. 

In Extremis differs greatly from some of the games on this list because it focuses on combat, rather than on relationships. The game is inspired by the Locked Tomb, but doesn’t seek to replicate it. All of the players are necromancers, and all of the players are built for combat. You will go up against a terrible, powerful foe, while you yourselves are small in number, although extremely powerful. I appreciate the attempt to make this legally distinct from The Locked Tomb - there’s enough here to absolutely appeal to fans of the series, but the creator has given themselves enough license to focus on the themes of this series that appeals to theme - particularly the theme of kicking ass.

Games I’ve Recommended in the Past

Tomb Candles, by deecity. (A hack of Ten Candles)

[chronicas]

Was reading the Adventurer’s Bible and I’m smacking my head against the wall with giant scorpions being labeled crustaceans.

THEY ARE ARACHNIDS!!! THEY ARE CHELICERATES!!!

Banging my head against the wall they have as much in common with crustaceans as they have with insects which is NOT VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

However Dunmeshi does get the flavor profile of them right in comparing them to crustaceans, as they have a similar flavor to shrimp and crab!

The texture is completely different though and they have soft carapaces so the better way to prepare them would involve eating that part of the scorpion too. And you can eat the tail just fine, but remove the stinger and venom gland. Boiling them wouldn’t work very well, again because of the soft exterior, it’d be better to try and fry or grill them.

Spiders and other arachnids are much the same, food wise.

I don’t prefer to eat my favorite animals so this isn’t from experience, sadly. It makes me much to sad to eat them.

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of One Direction fics where a character has an unusual pet as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fic, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

—Louis/Harry—

🐒 Ace of Spades by @allwaswell16

(E, 80k, monkey) Living as a sheltered omega in a farming village has not prepared Harry for life aboard the most notorious pirate ship to sail the Atlantic.

🦜 A Certain Romance by DragMeDownFuckMeUp

(E, 53k, parrot)  the one where Harry and Louis meet on tinder and things are going swimmingly until they realise that their daughters know each other... not only do they know each other, they may or may not be trying to date each other!

🦔 our friendship will never die, you're gonna see it's our destiny by yoobanana

(NR, 43k, hedgehog, monkey, turtle) The adventures of Louis and his hedgehog Bernard and how they inevitably lead to Louis meeting Harry and then even more so inevitably of them moving in together, adopting loads of animals, and then getting married. (Harry and Louis, not Louis and Bernard)

🐿️ But Why Wonder, Why Wonder? by @100percentsassy

(E, 30k, squirrels) The one where Marcel Styles has improbably landed a job in the fashion industry, and Louis Tomlinson is the actor-turned-lingerie-designer he’s been infatuated with for years.

🐹 Lost My Senses by louislittlesuns

(NR, 20k, chinchilla) Your classic university best friends to lovers story but with an unhinged Niall, the fluffiest chinchilla named Peach and far too many descriptions of Louis' mesmerising eyes.

🐮 What To Do With Magic Beans by  LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(T, 22k, cow) a Jack and the Beanstalk AU featuring Harry as Jack, Louis as a prince, Zayn as a nanny, Liam as the reasonable one, and Niall as whatever the fuck he’s doing.

🦎 I Didn’t Fall For You (You Fucking Tripped Me) by @allwaswell16

(E, 20k, monitor lizard) These days Louis tends to steer clear of dating alphas. He’s dated too many knotheads in his time, and he’s ready to just focus on school and his friends and his pet monitor lizard, of course.

🦎 Apparently by Chance, at Precisely the Right Moment by @lousmoonshine

(E, 19k, bearded dragon) Alpha Harry doesn’t believe in soulmates. Omega Louis has been looking for his soulmate all his life.

🦜 That’s How I Know by @allwaswell16

(E, 19k, parrot) the one where Harry’s African grey parrot spills his dirty secrets to his very hot neighbor.

🐐Maple by tobesokaylee

(T, 5k, cow, goat, pig, snake, hedgehog) Louis is crazy about animals, so Harry is determined to get him all the pets he wants even if they are unconventional

🕷️ Lonely Boy by RBBLivvy

(T, 4k, spider/snake/crab/lizard/gecko/squirrel) He really wishes his resident Harry wasn't so cute, because that's a no-go, but he also wishes Harry would stop trying to keep hermit crabs and lava lamps and every other code violation in the world in his room. 

🦜 Ours is Organized Chaos by ILoveLouis4Ever

(G, 3k, bearded dragon, parrot) upon stepping into their lush estate one is immediately assaulted by children with nerf guns seven dogs of varying sizes and energy levels a parrot with no manners

🐀 a complainy popstar by snsk

(G, 2k, rat) Harry wants a baby. He settles for a pet rat. Louis sort of hates the pet rat very much a lot.

🦆 summertime and butterflies by dadlouis

(T, 2k, duck) Louis and Harry go in for a pet and get something a bit different

—Rare Pairs—

🐒 Hi, Hey There, Hello by orphan_account

(T, 14k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw, monkey) Louis can talk to animals. Nick can't, but he tries anyway. Louis likes that in a guy.

🐀 Creature Fear by @dearmrsawyer

(G, 8k, Niall/Harry, opossum) Louis is an Opossum, and he's moved into the walls.

🦎 I Pray to God I Didn’t Waste All My Good Years (It Was Always You) by versacezayn

(M, 5k, Zayn/Liam, lizard) It’s been four years since Zayn left the band.

[filthforfriends]

Just imagine Ethan as a Dad that would be just *chefs kiss* 💋

I imagine his 4 year old kiddo running up to him with a "drawing" thats just scribbles on a page for the 7th time today. Ethan is sitting at his computer, trying to produce music, but he's also hellbent on encouraging his child's creativity, regardless of how it tests his patience.

So when he hears the high pitched screech of "Papà, papà, look what I made!" Of course the child bursts into the room without knocking and interrupts him mid-thought.

"Ah, okay. One moment," he'd placate while halfway lost in rhythm. (I can so clearly hear those words in his tone of voice.) His kid has at least learned to wait for this. Of course they're also vibrating with excitement, next to some very expensive, very breakable equipment. Ethan can't really focus while worried that his child is going to trip over a bass drum petal and take the skin of their entire shin. This was supposed to be dad's special room, where only grownups were allowed, but he'd broken that rule before the little ones could even talk by showing them his music.

"Aright, what do we have?" His hands would land on his thighs as punctuation while Ethan turned his chair and refocused attention.

"I made a present for you!" Cue piece of notebook paper with a bunch of red and green lines thrust into Ethan's hands.

"Oh, wow. A Christmas tree in May!" He'd act excited and his kiddo would know not to be put off by his almost monotone way of speaking. Thats just how papà talks.

"No, papà its a crab! Don't you see it?" Ethan couldn't bear the disappointed expression that children make when adults don't understand their drawings. He would tilt his head to the side and pretend to have a revelation.

"Oh, now I do! Of course I can see right here" gestures vaguely to a part of the page. "It is clearly a crab, yes."

"That's its leg."

"And how many legs do crabs have?" Ethan gets up and grabs the tape he keeps in the desk drawer expressly for this purpose. He hangs the paper on the one wall that isn't soundproofed next to many other drawings. A composite of his favorites would become the cover art of a future album.

"Six!"

"Almost..." he coaxes, encouraging.

"Um, eight. Like a spider. A sea spider!"

"A sea spider?" he'd repeat, using his most theatrical voice. Ethan would lift his little one off the ground with an exaggerated groan, making them burst into giggles.

"How many claws?"

"Two! Thats easy."

"Alright, do you know if mamma or dad are home, yet, my little marine biologist?" The Torchio household nanny would be waiting right outside the door, ready to take the kid from Ethan's arms. He had made it clear that the children were allowed to interrupt him to give him their art.

"Your mamma just pulled into the driveway." Their nanny would speak directly to the little one, as per request of Ethan and his partners. He wanted his children to be treated like equals, talked to not over. Upon hearing their mamma come through the door the child would wiggle around until set on the ground so they could go running through the house, squealing. Ethan doesn't bother reminding them to knock for the 7th time today.

[onenicebugperday]

@markedpoint​ submitted: I have a guest in my room! she seems happy enough hiding behind my indoor tv antenna

She’s a he! Great big pedipalps. Please tell him I love him :)

[rxnefairs]

Headcanons ft. House Velaryon

no im not in eve and steve withdrawal what do you mean

Corlys’ love language is physical touch when it comes to Rhaenys. And in turn, she kind of adopts that love language, especially when she’s around him or her babies (human or dragon).

Meleys loves her mommy. Not a headcanon, but it’s always worth mentioning.

Rhaenys is scared of crabs. There’s no rationale behind the fear, she just thinks they’re creepy. Even though Miss Girl has a whole ass spiky dragon.

Rhaenys prefers pearls over gold because Corlys calls her “the pearl of his world.”

Corlys is pescatarian… for the most part. He’s definitely more of a white fish person but will eat poultry from time to time.

Meleys loves to snuggle with her mommy. No, I will not be taking any criticism. Argue with the wall.

Corlys likes to braid and brush Rhaenys’ hair.

Rhaenys has siren eyes. You know that stupid TikTok trend with the Doe vs Siren eyes thing? Yeah, Rhaenys has the Westerosi equivalent of siren eyes. Don’t @ me on this one.

When Laenor and Laena both turned six moons old, Corlys taught them how to swim in the ✨ocean✨

Rhaenys can drink Corlys under the table.

Laenor and Laena couldn’t pronounce Meleys’ name as toddlers, so they just called her “Mew Mew.”

CORLYS IS SCARED OF SPIDERS. Looking at you, Steve Toussaint.

If given the choice between a table and a bed… Corlys and Rhaenys would choose the table. *cough*

[kobblefort]

Hoistedworked: Origins

Alright, okay, yeah. Back on the wagon, right here in the woods. It's still plenty remote, cold enough to teach a Dwarf to speak in clicks, and it is actually capable of sustaining life. Sure it's no glacier but the glacier was always a shitty idea. We can at least carve something out here. Like some ideas are actually just bad. Like too bad to manage. This one though is basically fine. We can do this.

See? Look at this shit, it's beautiful. Plants. Trees. Actual solid ground. Since I never introduced the actual decapods before, let's pretend these are all just the same guys, okay? Just for convenience's sake.

Cikuti Worthoars, who likes bobbit worms for their knobs and angles. Oh yeah and suddenly the snow cleared up. Don't ask me, I don't know why.

Cutichi Strengthtown, AWESOME name. He likes to eat seahorse meat and loves two-grain wheat beer.

Chetek Boattrussed, who likes kangaroos for their pouches. 🤔

Cukikuki Townriddle. Big fan of eating giant Brown Recluse spiders, even though she hates cave spiders. I'm not going to ask.

Scukikik Denttongs. Big beak dog fan.

Retuti Livingwheel, groundhog fan and mead drinker. Wonder if we can actually get a bee colony set up here.

And finally Cikuki Prisoncrafts, goat eater. Well, please forgive me if I kind of breeze past the "starter base setup" phase here.

Or, well, I would, but... nobody wants to work. That's not some boomerism, nobody will just pick up the tools to chop wood or dig holes. They gather plants fine, and took apart the wagon without any trouble, but now they're just... gawking...

Reading about it on Reddit, it seems the solution is to just retire the fort and then immediately un-retire it. So we'll try that I guess.

come on... come on... YES!!

We don't even make it all the way down 10 stories before discovering the cavern this time. And before you ask:

yep, fucked up normal grass again. Whatever. It's not as big of a deal this time. One day I really ought to properly ask how that even happens, but for now, I'm just rolling with it.

Up above, all that happened in the two weeks the game makes you wait whenever you start fortress mode again is that the crabs spilled all their prickleberry wine. What a tragedy!

After about a season, we've got a pretty nice setup coming together. All the stockpiles are hidden away under the big main meeting area, the aquifer drains into a cistern, things that rot are kept safely away from the average crab's path, and walls are being built up top to make a more secure entrance. We've eaten a boar and silky sea slug while food stocks were low, and the giant leopard we brought with us "went missing" some time ago - which probably just means it's dead. Giant raccoons have been harrassing us up on the surface, but that's the point of setting up our defenses. It's a much more auspicious start than our first expedition, and with self-sufficiency actually taken care of, we'll be able to get our paper economy and library off the ground sooner than later. We've also found a bit of native platinum quite high up in the earth, but once you start the metal economy, it feels like you just sort of become a metal economy fortress. So we'll hold off on that for now. Also, the giant wolves keep wandering into our meeting hall. Don't worry, they're ours, but they'd probably suit us better outside fending off the raccoons... Oh, and nobody has bedrooms yet. Nobody's too pressed about that, though. One time a really drunk guy came over to my house and when I said "alright that's it for the night" he was like for sure, peace out, slapped my hand, fistbumped me, grabbed his things and walked 5 steps out the front door to fall asleep sitting up on the stairwell of my apartment. So people can do that, people can just sleep on stairs. My roommates found him and were like "what the fuck" and I was also like "what the fuck" because I figured he'd just go home. I think they just let him sleep though. I would've heard it if he fell down the stairs and he didn't. So you can do that.

There's not a lot to say right now. We're not making a ton of money, but we're sustaining ourselves fine.

Defenses are coming together fine, too. Our giant wolves had pups and the pups have the zoomies. It's wonderful.

There's a quantum stockpile now to make woodworking a lot easier. For those not in the know, a "quantum stockpile" is a 1x1 stockpile that gets filled by having a minecart dump into it. The cart races down from the surface, and is just long enough that it doesn't crash at the end, though also just too long to auto-dump - so instead, the solution is to make whoever finishes filling the cart hop in and ride it down so that they can push it the last couple tiles. Or at least, that's the plan; at first crabs just kicked the cart down the ramp, but since I changed it to be ridden instead, everyone's been too busy putting a ceiling over the main "courtyard."

Here's our "administrative wing": counter-clockwise from the top, it houses our expedition leader Worthoars, production supervisor Boattrussed, and sheriff Channeledchain. We've got a hospital set up earlier than we need it for once, but nobody's been appointed chief of medicine yet. I ultimately had to run DFhack drain-aquifer just because the "mist generator" started overflowing, but I've set up "ponds" where any crab with nothing better to do will chuck a bucket of water down from the top of the stairs. The result is the same, so it should cheer everyone up. They'll need it, since...

Roofing the main area has everyone caught in a snowstorm, and though nobody's particularly miserable at all, it's still dragging some crabs down. Oh, and I like this.

Efficiency be damned, I wanted a cool bedroom setup, and looking down into the great hall right when you wake up seems pretty cool to me.

An agitated giant raccoon attacks, but it's put down pretty quickly by the giant wolves. The bigger threat is our own lack of forethought.

I wanted to put grates up above the farm plot there, because I'm not actually sure whether you still need outdoor plants to get sunlight and rain or whatever, or if a tile that was directly exposed to the sun at any point just counts as "outdoors" forever. I honestly think it's the latter but you know what they say about eggs and baskets and all that type of shit.

The problem is that crabs kept trying to put floors down on these tiles, which was possible because they could walk over the grates to reach them, but didn't register to the game as structurally sound, so the floor just instantly collapsed every time they tried to do it. Well, at least nobody died.

Except for just now. I tried to make the quantum stockpile also include rocks, and it worked! But people keep walking out in front of it and getting hit. Somehow, a shrimp survived just fine, but this metalsmith fucking died. It seems obvious to like, not walk on minecart tracks, especially if they're set to the "no" traffic setting, but it's apparently not. A bit of judicious wall use seems to fix it, though. We also make probably the ugliest fucking graveyard I've EVER set up.

Right off to the side of our main noble quarters for whenever we either get a mayor, get elevated to a barony, or whatever else, I just made... I don't know. This spaghetti nightmare. I don't care. If crabs were dying in battle, then you know, I'd take it serious, I'd make a big whole thing out of it or at least plop down the quickfort windmills. But what am I supposed to feel about a guy bashing himself with the fucking minecart? Like... you get what you paid for. And now the next poor saps to die in this fortress get what you paid for too.

Our first artifact is created! Its name translates to "Slippants." Ok. It just has an image of a decapod in it. Not even any particular kind of decapod in specific. But it instantly makes Hailcloistered, or jesus christ how am I supposed to remember this, Ricikikikitikik into a legendary armorsmith. Which is, you know, cool. Yeah, we could probably get some armor going. I neglected to mention I set up a metalsmithing business; I didn't want to, but there are so many metalsmiths in this fortress that they started a guild, and I always wanted to try actually placing workshops in a guild-relevant area instead of just having all the workshops in one place and guild halls somewhere else, so it's a little inefficient, but it looks cool, so who cares.

...and that right there is the last thing I wrote before I stopped playing for 8 months.

I feel like the reveal was always coming: "I was just doing this as a weird cry for help cloaked dick-deep in 69 layers of irony." Like on the surface it looks like it is just a person freaking out but then one layer lower it's actually just a guy fucking around but one more layer it's freaking out again and on and on and on. I don't know what to say besides that. I'm in the first really healthy relationship of my life and trying not to mess it up. I'm still soul-crushingly poor with no real skills or job prospects. I do still play the greatest simulation game of all time Dwarf Fortress, though much more rarely - I often boot it up with big ambitions to make some Content for The Tube, actually, but I'm simply too good at the game, so nothing interesting happens in my forts, and I end up with twenty gigabytes of footage and ten pages scribbled in a notebook covering six years of fortress management where the most interesting thing that happens is like, I set up a milling industry.

I'm not really interested in Daarunbay Detevay anymore, I'm sorry. It's not like I've deleted it, I keep pretty extensive backups of all my worlds and saves for the greatest simulation game of all time Dwarf Fortress, even though I rarely actually use them, so it's not really going anywhere. If there's any interest I could probably like, put the world folder on pixeldrain or mediafire or whatever and try to compile a mod list, but I'm not making any promises and I doubt anyone really wants that very bad anyway.

...and that right there is the last thing I wrote before I forgot about this draft for 2 months.

In that time, the Adventure Mode beta appeared. I stayed up all night waiting for it to come out, but it was still rough enough that I didn't dive all the way in just yet. However, I realized something after playing as a cockatiel man who got viciously killed for starting random fights with innocent dwarves in my own half-abandoned fortress which went to hell because apparently the AI lets all of the animals out of cages and unlocks all the doors when you retire a fort. There might still be much more to do in Daarunbay Detevay. Rat World may be doomed but there's no reason we couldn't make a party of Rat Bandits. Better yet we could embark from Rushsly on the mission of a lifetime: to kill Vakeek Malignreasons.

So I don't know. Maybe we're going to do that. Maybe I will actually make some YouTube Content and I'll never reveal there that I was the Kobblefort guy but you could see a video and recognize my loquacious schizotypal affect, and you'd be like "dude, aren't you the guy who did Kobblefort?" and I wouldn't respond or maybe I'd be like "what is that" but you'd know. You'd know it was me. But just for the record please don't go around asking Dwarf Fortress YouTubers if they're the Kobblefort guy. Because either they don't know and you have exposed a YouTube person (much more normal than Tumblr people, on the whole) to Kobblefort or you have put me on the spot. So yeah, just forget you ever read any of this, except for during the time where you're reading it. I'm trying to do the exact opposite of "death of the author" here. This is "death of the reader." No that sounds fucked up. This is "life of the author." Sure. See you soon

[pancakeke]

one day I'm gonna pull that drywall down and learn stud finders show all sorts of crazy readings there because a large spider crab is inside the wall.

[sharkrad08222222]

To Cook a giant spider

Giant spiders have a variety of uses. When Butchered, you can expertise the venom form the mouth Glands, the Silk form the silk glands, along with spider shell which it's Dark colored chitin, while thin compared to a Beetle chitin, it is still loved by many races for it's Dark Colors. Before preparing the body one must burn the hairs off of a spider, for they are know to cause rashes to people who touch them. Even seemly hairless spiders can hold these hair. After the extraction of the Silk glands, and head, and organs, the abdomen's meat is wonderful for being used in sauce and stocks, adding mild chicken/cod flavor, which goes along good with the lichen of the caverns' lichen and Garlic. This sauce goes well along with Cave goat, Cave muskox, and Giant cave swallow. The head has some meat like abdomen, but the head is much more valuable for it's potion materials, the brain, eyes, and Venom Glands. The venom glands can be used by a skilled alchemist to make a Neutralize poison potion, the brain for a potion of Wall walk, and the Eyes for potions of Dark vision, and Potions of false healing. The legs tend to be the least meaty, but the white, crab like meat is a bitter with a chemical after taste. It is best prepared with butter and Garlic or the Sauce mentioned above. The Silk can be made into clothes or pressed into paper for common use and for it's use in spell scrolls. Spider silk is prized for it's toughness and resistance for ware, making it a popular choice for Gambeson for Cavern residents.