#wanted to make this a ship specific post however i dont know what ship to choose..

[bark-ing]

if you could, how do you think remus found out he enjoys, as you so beautifully put it, the way he becomes pliant and agreeable in relation to your thread and the losing consciousness thing? was it simply a fantasy he kept to himself and eventually gave a chance? if so, i agree that he'd soooo have a spiral with it. any thoughts you have on it: be it choking, or how he got to research chloroform? i read that and couldn't stop thinking about it. it had me in a grip.

-🔮

Hi anon im sooo glad u asked!

It started off innocently enough with remus going thru fics of whatever he was into at the time. He came across one specific fic that had someone accidentally get choked out during sex and just kinda went huh alright and moved on. But then he was watching a show or a movie, and once again there was a scene where someone is getting choked out or like i mentioned is getting kidnapped with the (kind of comical at this point) white rag. And they're screaming and trying to fight it and their movements slow down and they can barely even shout anymore and Remus is suddenly sporting a semi on movie night with the other marauders. He is absolutely gobsmacked, and it kind of scares him how much he wishes that was him.

And then it turns into the fantasising. He keeps thinking of that scene in the stupid movie, and he keeps wondering what would it smell like? What would it feel like to slowly lose consciousness, to go from that high adrenaline of trying to escape to going limp and seeing black? He cums embarrassingly fast the first time he let himself properly imagine it (and i mean all he had the time to do was touch himself over his sleep shorts), and very quickly it becomes his go to wank thought.

After a good few nights of that, he eventually let's curiosity take over and he starts to research. How does chloroform work? How safe is it? Can he buy it without being suspicious? (He would be way to terrified to actually purchase anything, because well safety is very important no matter how horny). And then he gets bored and he goes online again to find more porn (written at first because it still intimidated him to actually see it in a video) specifically about breath play.

He'd be so embarrassed by it all, and itd take suuch a long time to actually open up about this to his partner because he feels just a little insane about wanting to get choked out in the middle of fucking, and then fucked until he gains consciousness again. The day he finds out what it feels like to go limp, to go unconscious even for a second and come to filled with cum? Or just as his love is coming? He'd be so confused, he'd feel so strange and out of it and it would be perfect. He really really just wants to be used like a pretty, pliant and brain dead toy.

[kinardsboy]

This has been sitting on my mind a lot lately but it seems extra relevant now with the way Tommy and by extension Lou has been criticized for acting “too gay” in ep 5. And while yes, I will agree Tommy acted slightly different in ep 5, it has absolutely everything to do with Lou’s incredible acting choices to play Tommy differently when he is around people he deems as “safe” which is much better explained in this amazing post here <-

All these complains are doing is just yet again exposing buddies as homophobes who are, at the end of the day. Uncomfortable with real queerness being shown infront of them. Of course we already knew this with how they react to Buck and Tommy kissing and god forbid flirting especially if it has sexual implications like the daddy kink scene.

They can’t possibly fathom their precious uwu baby Buck would be sexual with another man so they spin and twist it however they can to make it out to be, “NO! You see! Tommy started the flirting! Tommy is just an insatiable horny gay man! He only wants sex! Like most of them do!”

Which is again spewing homophobic rhetoric, who wouldve guessed thats what they immediately turn to?

I now have something probably controversial to say but oh well, im going to say it anyway.

A good many of these shippers would be deeply uncomfortable with Buddie actually becoming canon, because they would be nothing like their fanfic. They don’t want to see two men in a relationship, they want to see Eddie in a relationship with the character they project themselves onto.

There are so many examples of this but perhaps the biggest being the way Buck is made out to be the “woman” in the relationship and especially how he is made to be the “mom”

Buck and Tommy’s relationship 1st does not have any children involved so there are no gendered roles to be assigned (even though if there was.. theyd just both be a dad), they are both beefy and the same height, which is what people usually use to decide “top” and “bottom” but again since there is little physical difference between them, they cannot do this, which only adds to their uncomfortableness.

Furthermore, I would go as far to say that Buddie shippers dont actually like Buck.

A while back a shipper posted this analysis of Buddie, that essentially reduces Buck to a dog. A pet. Only to be let out of the bedroom to cook and take care of Chris, otherwise he’s meant only for Eddie’s pleasure.

Which, disgusting. But the thing that stood out most to me was how Tommy was criticized for

letting Buck be himself. For accepting and loving him flaws and all. For not trying to change anything, or “train” the bad out of him

While Eddie was the “trainer” in that scenario, that had to train the bad out of Buck in order for him to be acceptable.

And thats the funny thing isnt it? Buddie shippers have to completely warp and destroy Buck’s character to make him fit their mold of perfect partner for Eddie. They make him out to be this helpless person who can’t even tell Tommy he doesnt want to be called Evan, that needs rescuing from Tommy, that is a “mother figure” to Chris, that his “dream role” would be live in chef and maid for the diaz family..

When none of that is Buck.

Buck is a smart, independent and strong man. He has worked tirelessly on himself to know who he is and what he wants, which right now? Is with Tommy.

Bringing it back to my main point, their complaints of Tommy being more gay and Bucktommy intimacy ultimately just boil down to homophobia plain and simple, seeing real queer representation and not representation that they can specifically twist and cater to themselves through fic, headcanons or gifs, makes them uncomfortable

(could this be why so many of them ignore shows with canon m/m ships for favor of shows with fanon ones that will never actually happen? So they can make these demands for representation then shit on it as soon as they get it because its not fanfic? Its not their fetish specifically catered to them? It actually represents real life queer men who they don’t actually like?)

[veilkeeper]

thoughts on the astarion-halsin polymance

i know some people dont like the halsin polymance specifically if the PC's other partner is astarion but. i want to talk about it. because i think maybe a lot of people have come to conclusions without seeing the scenes in question for themselves. so let me give a different perspective.

disclaimers: *i know a lot of people ship/hc this polymance as a triad, but for the purposes of this post i'm talking specifically about the "hinge" dynamic we see in-game thx. **also i got the halsin romance trigger before completing astarion's personal quest, so this post is talking about that perspective, and all quotes are from those conversations. ***i respect people who dont play this route. you're allowed to play this game however you want. the purpose of this post is to discuss the canon, in-game text and how it supports the astarion-halsin polymance as a viable and healthy path for these relationships, with nuance and respect to astarion's personal issues. this is not meant to convert anyone, but it is meant to clarify and provide additional context that i feel is largely missing from a lot of discussions about how the polymance is "bad", unilaterally.

let's start with halsin, because i think he's the easier perspective to tease out here, given that he really leaves nothing to the imagination. he's incredibly earnest and open, and will happily describe his perspective on non-monogamy right out the gate. as he says...

The wolf mates for life, but the bear roams free and partners as its instinct dictates. I need to stay true to my nature, and you to yours.

now, to get ahead of potential backlash here... if you haven't spent a lot of time with halsin, particularly if you've never flirted with him, that line may imply that he's a "player". he is not. given the context of the PCs interactions with him up to this point (and how he treats the relationship after, if you confirm the romance), halsin is deeply devoted, and has really strong feelings for the PC. it's really sweet, i highly recommend romancing him, either as a polymance or solo.

what he's describing here is a perspective of cultural non-monogamy. that he believes his feelings are not diminished by having multiple relationships at the same time, and he expects that if the PC agrees to a relationship with him that they will respect his freedom to pursue others when/if such feelings arise, just as he will respect the PC's freedom to continue and/or pursue other relationships as well. it's a really succinct and frankly unexpectedly respectful negotiation of the terms of a polyam relationship.

and that respect is evident from the get go. if you've never seen this conversation, it basically opens with him saying "hey, i have these feelings about you, i was wondering if you maybe felt the same," and if the PC says that they do, he immediately acknowledges the existing relationship and tells the PC that they can't move forward without consent. and you cant; speaking to halsin again just has him ask the PC if they've spoken to their other partner yet. at every turn, halsin is incredibly respectful of the PCs other partner, he never diminishes that relationship, nor does he expect the PC to ever place him above that relationship. he even says:

Indeed, I am but one of your lovers. You and I should seek happiness, wherever it lies. You are all I want, but I will not hoard you to myself.

he makes it very clear from the get-go that he has no designs on the PC's other relationship and that he is more than happy to take whatever they want to give him.

which leads me to my overarching point: astarion is consenting to this dynamic specifically because the other person in question is halsin.

and we know this for a few reasons. first, because.... mechanically in game, he's the only person you can romance at the same time as astarion. while astarion mentions at various points that he is fine with "arrangements", generally speaking, every other potential romance partner results in a "you have to choose one of us" conversation. the reason astarion gives for why the PC has to choose varies, i believe, but since i don't have the dialogue on hand (i have been faithful as hell in my playthrough) i won't speculate about those conversations.

however, we also know that astarion is consenting to an arrangement with halsin specifically because of this line:

The druid is unique. He has a lot of experience with this type of arrangement. Thus, I'm sure it would be quite a harmless affair.

which is interesting, isn't it? hold onto this one, we'll circle back to it later. and then of course, the other line we need to discuss from astarion here is the famously controversial...

It's not because… you know… we haven't… in a while?

so this is where i get into the potentially controversial take that i have, because it's more nuanced than arguments i've seen on either side of the pro-/anti- polymance debate. but basically i think that astarion is... insecure. shocker, i know. but unlike some takes i've seen, i dont think this means he can't consent to a polyam relationship, i think it means that he has certain Conditions related to it, that he has decided have been met. and i think those conditions are as follows:

the PC's interest in halsin is not borne out of any deficiency of astarion's.

this is why he asks the famous question. he's insecure, and making sure that the PC's interest in halsin is not because astarion is failing to "satisfy" them, that it's not because he isn't enough. astarion has a lot of self-worth issues that he tries really hard to hide, and i think it would be easy for him to think that the PC starting another relationship could be a result of him being... insufficient.

for people who have never been in a polyam relationship, this is a thing. this is an important thing, and making sure all of your partners feel that they're valued and "enough" is an important part of navigating these relationships. astarion does the right thing here, by expressing his insecurity and asking for reassurance. and when the PC gives it to him, the relief is evident and he gives consent to the dynamic immediately. not because he's been coerced, but because he's been reassured.

PC: Gods, I don't want you to think that for a moment. Astarion: I know I was being foolish. But thank you for saying it.

the second condition is:

that he is still a priority

this is pretty self explanatory but since it's sort of the clincher for my whole argument here, i do have to say the quiet part out loud. i dont think what astarion wants or needs is to be the PC's only partner. he talks about "arrangements" on multiple occasions, i dont think he has a problem with sharing. what i do think he wants is to be the PC's primary partner. what he's consenting to, in my view, is hierarchical polyamory, to use the proper term. as in, the PC can fool around with whoever they want, even have feelings for other people, so long as they always come back to astarion. he needs to feel like he is secure and valued above others as he values them above others. he needs to feel like the PC isn't going anywhere.

and that's why he consents to an arrangement with halsin, but no one else. because all of the other romance options, the origin companions, would want to be equal with astarion, they would want non-hierarchical polyamory. halsin, on the other hand, is all about taking what can be given and having a more fluid understanding of relationships. he doesn't care if he's #1, he cares that the PC cares about him, right now. no formal definitions or obligations required.

that's what astarion means when he says "the druid is unique." that's what he means when he says "he has a lot of experience with this type of arrangement." that's what he means when he says it will be a "harmless affair." because he knows halsin is never going to try to take the PC away from him. he knows halsin isn't going to be a threat to him and his status with his partner. and that's why he's comfortable saying yes, even though he says no to every other possible arrangement.

it's not because he was coerced. it's not because he doesn't know how to say no. it's because he feels safe. and that's what we want.

some additional notes while i'm here...

on jealousy: a lot of people hc astarion as the jealous type, as perhaps a little possessive, and i am also one of those people. it makes sense; he's a guy who hasn't had anything in 200 years, and the PC is the first person he's cared about like this. i can definitely see him being a little possessive and prone to jealousy. but stepping outside of the realm of fiction, jealous/possessive feelings are often the result of insecurity and in real relationships should absolutely not be used as a tool to control the behaviour of another partner. and, crucially, jealous/possessive feelings are a thing to be talked about and worked through, not tip-toed around. the presence of those feelings does not automatically mean that a polyamorous relationship is impossible, it just means there's another thing to talk about, and by astarion consenting to the PC having another relationship, he's pretty clearly saying he's willing to talk through those feelings and work on them.

on the ability to consent: i know that astarion doesn't talk about his feelings enough. but i truly dont think that this is a case of astarion saying yes when he means no. astarion can say no, even in high pressure situations he wasn't expecting. he says no to the astral-touched tadpole (rather firmly, i might add), he says no to sleeping with the drow twins, etc. the scene that most people use as proof that astarion cannot consent happens in a much different emotional context, with a lot of direct coercion, and is followed by astarion taking back personal control and dumping the PC. that is not what happens in this scene, when astarion is consenting to a polyamorous relationship. there is no coercion (in fact the PC can explicitly say "i wouldn't even consider it if it bothered you", and astarion expected the conversation, so he would have been able to prepare his thoughts and feelings ahead of time. at no point does he say no or even imply he's not okay with an arrangement with halsin.

on timing: ive seen some people say that they would be more okay with the astarion-halsin polymance if all of this was not be happening right now. i agree with that. ideally, astarion would have more time to adjust to his relationship before it was opened up at all. but because this is a video game, everything is happening during the events of the game. and because this is a video game, the events of the game are high pressure and wild and everything is happening all at once. i don't blame people who elongate the timeline in fan content, or who turn down halsin because they think its "too soon." thats actually very explicitly something halsin says when he initially propositions the player - that he hopes it isn't "too soon." however, astarion still consents (see point above), and relationships barely ever have good timing. one could argue that even the solomance with astarion does not have good timing, when considering astarion's trauma and recovery. so. we make do. and i think it would be... a disservice? to what is (in my opinion) really good polyam writing to just say "actually it's all terrible and icky because there's a lot going on right now" and dismiss it out of hand.

.......................and i think that's everything. thank you for joining me on this very long (oops) deep dive into this. a double thank you for reading all the way through if you don't like the astarion-halsin polymance. i hope i gave you a different perspective, even if i didn't change your mind. love ya <3

[drdemonprince]

Can you offer any (academic) writing advice for Autistics and ADHDers? You clearly write a lot and write very well and very clearly, so some insight into your process would be great. Personally, I tend to struggle with over explaining or over citing (cause I am always getting misunderstood) and that I get very fixated on not misrepresenting what my sources are saying to avoid feeling like I'm lying. All this is time consuming and makes it hard to say what I really want to say. Thanks!

Hi there! I've written an essay about a lot of this, here is the free link to read it on Medium:

Much of my writing process is inspired by the book How to Write a Lot by Paul Silvia, and it is specifically tailored to academics. The advice applies to people who write popular nonfiction or fiction just as easily, however. And he does have advice relevant to the self-editing and self-doubt you describe feeling.

The full piece gets into this more, but here are some of the stand-out tips:

Schedule a regular time to write every week and show up no matter whether you are feeling it or not.

Throw out all your magical thinking about what you "need" to be able to write. You don't need the perfect workspace, divine inspiration, the right pen, the right playlist. You just need to show up to write regularly, and do it

Editing, outlining, working with research notes, and drafting all count as "writing." Don't expect your initial drafts to be perfect or to equate writing only with getting new words on the page.

Try writing in public spaces to help get yourself in the mindset of explaining a concept to someone with a different frame of reference and type of expertise than you. Writing in a cafe or a public library can force you think and write in a more accessible way. (alternatively, you can pretend you are explaining the concept to a specific person in your life who you respect but who doesnt have all the same reference points as you -- sometimes this is called the "Grandma Test". Explain something like you are talking to your grandma.)

In addition to all this, I would add that you should read a lot of writing, both good and bad, especially work that isn't dry and academic. If all you read is journal articles, you'll write a journal article -- and most of those are hell to read, even for academics. read fiction. read bad wattsapp shipping. read substacks. read newspapers. read indulgent personal nonfiction in the cut or whatever. read reddit posts. notice what works and what doesn't. develop an ear.

and then write a lot! it took me 15 years to get good enough for anything i wrote to get noticed. you can expect to take many years to get comfortable developing your own voice, too. i dont know how far along you are, but even when you've made tremendous progress you'll only notice your flaws and feel the most turgid brain foggy moments. that doesn't mean you're failing.

also, to some extent you can embrace your citation-dense, precise manner of self-expression. we are living in a moment of maximalism and indulgent, long creative works. it's the decade of the 5 hour youtube essay and the 2 hour album. my 5,000 word essays do better than my 2,000 word ones. you should strip down unnecessary tangents and trust yourself and your reader a little more probably, but ive found that the more blatantly autistic and indulgent my writing gets the more the right people like it. a writer's flaws and their distinctive voice are kinda hard to separate. you're not for everyone!

good luck!

[kittycatred]

RED'S ASK & RP BLOG

this is an askblog & roleplay blog of red from ava/avm, ran by @solariex ! ꩜ any pronouns are fine for red, & same for ooc ⟡ i dont have any specific age hcs, but i do see red & the colorgang in their teens ꩜ shipping related asks are okay!, although just none with the adults/anyone implied older than colorgang, obviously ⟡ occasionally there'll be art / doodles alongside interactions ꩜ asks are heavily encouraged!! & other roleplay blogs can interact!! (alongside doubles of red or any other character, tumblr multiverse is fun anyways) ⟡ feel free to send as many asks/interact as much as you want, spamming doesnt bother me :3 ꩜ this blog is ran by an adult, however keep asks & such to PG-13 at most here !! they'll just be deleted, and blocked if its a reoccurring issue ⟡ this is just my interpretation of red & all posts and responses will be in character unless specified otherwise so dont take anything too seriously! ≽^•⩊•^≼ ꩜ if you want to tell me something ooc, or address something to me ooc, please say so when sending asks or commenting !! i might unintentionally respond in character if i dont know otherwise !! :'D if anything i say in character bothers you (or if your unsure of tone or anything) when interacting, no matter what it is, dont be afraid to message or reply or say so in my askbox!! i dont bite & id hate to unintentionally make anyone uncomfortable :) if you do, just make sure you give me time to properly respond, if you've sent it once, ive more than likely have seen it, so trust that im not ignoring, just trying to gather my thoughts properly !! :3

remember that the character ≠ the real person, theres some things red says in character that i wouldnt say or do out of character

trust that any bickering or banter or joke done in character between blogs, is purely for fun, and not any genuine malice outside of character !! im friends with majority of those i interact with, and i trust that if they were genuinely uncomfortable, they'd let me know, otherwise, dont take it too seriously :3

☆ TAGS MASTERPOSTS ☆

꩜ main tags — masterpost of main tags used for this blog ⟡ interaction tags — masterpost of interactions w/ other blogs ꩜ storyline tags — masterpost of red's sagas & "storylines" ⟡ smaller tags — masterpost of other, mostly silly, tags

☆ RED BLOG AVM CHATS ☆ made by @asteroid-fruitcup !!

discord server by me !! (more active)

[kiss-marry-kill-polls]

It's the Kiss-Marry-Kill poll blog for all your character kissing/marrying/killing needs!

i made this on a whim be nice

How does it work?

You look through your brain or your watchlist or whatever and find The Character you've been thinking about on and off for however long it's been, and you send them to me (via asks (or i might make a sub form later))! Then you and your peers vote whether you would kiss, marry, or kill them!

Some rules and regulations for those want to have silly and be fun!

Characters must be 16+

Include the media the character is from or I will not post it. Do not expect me to know who is from what.

provided you are nice about it and i haven't said otherwise, you can submit any character you want forever

i'm on the fence about real people. if you do submit a real person, there's a 70-30 chance i won't post it

if you have an OC/Original Character you'd like to submit, make sure you have an image/photo and that this character meets the rest of the requirements (16+, not an animal, not aromantic)

no animals please (furries allowed but you're on thin ice)

feel free to submit any ideas for changes to the blog

try not to send canon aromantic or aroace characters (i dont mind if you do but i dont want to receive hate for it so like be warned)

if you would like, you can add a little blurb about your character for those who might not know them

actually if you send me a real person and i find it funny (ex: jesus, julius caesar, etc) i'll probably post it

Submission template for my fellow neurodivergents: "I'm submitting [character] from [media or real life], specifically during [specific event in media, not required], and here is my [blurb]"

Example: "I'm submitting Aziraphale from Good Omens, specifically during the Ancient Greece flashback, no blurb" or "I'm submitting Gandalf from Lord of the Rings, no specifications, no blurb"

and so on and so forth

(you obviously do not have to use this template, i thought it might help)

(tagging yall because i'd like some reach but yall are under no obligation to do anything about it, obviously. and also sorry.): @bed-wed-behead-your-fave @aretheypolyamorous @do-you-ship-it-polls

[lorelune]

LORE I must know your rock paper scissors dynamic with jingrenheng..... or actually what's their ship name when they're in hcq? with danfeng and yingxing??

anyway I need to know what your thoughts are about who doms who in this trio..... 👁️👄👁️🎤

hello bitti <33 YOU'RE ASKING THE BIG QUESTIONS... i have read so. So much jingrenheng fic (and jingxingfeng (unsure if that's the official ship name but backs haven blown out both pre and post hcq) ) and the conclusion i come to is that they are all in fact switches. with the following distinct temperaments:

yingxing:

prefers topping, dom leaning

masochistic streak that dan feng entertains

dan feng

switchy

has a dommy mommy tendencies

BUT more often than not ends up bottoming and subbing

mainly for yx. they have that whole vibe u know

jing yuan (specifically hcq era)

switchy. true switch at his core

indulges df's mommy dommy tendencies which often times involves jy being fucked by yx in any number of ways.

atp prefers topping, but enjoys bottoming almost as much.

gets in hard-headed standoffs with yx about who is topping and domming (when df is really making those calls :3c)

(tbh i'm such a huge bleeding heart fan of jy/yx/df that i have like... ten different formulas of dynamics for these three. true jingrenheng is harder bc it is just more SAD)

...

dan heng

service top or pillow princess. no in between.

will fight it out with blade for dominance (literally)

cries whenever he tops and/or doms. dont ask him about he gets SHYYY

blade

dom, top leaning. will bottom but struggles to be fully comfortable.

HUGEEEE masochistic streak that neither dh or jy will indulge unless they are feeling truly self destructive

jing yuan (post-hcq)

prefers bottoming, will top without complaint however

doesn't enjoy subbing. he can understand the allure of subbing, and even wants that emptiness sometimes, but struggles to reach that state and be comfortable within it

small masochistic streak.

he usually lets blade and dh scrap for who is going to dom but has like... an invisible leash on the two of them. he can reign them in sooo easily if he tries but gets off on the fighting and personal attention

[biccyssafespace]

🍼 Welcome to my safe space .ᐟ

☁️ Blog introduction below the cut .ᐟ 🐥

Hello my name is biccy! before i start my intro take a look at my dni! and thank you for coming

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N$FW K!INK G0RE anti-agere/age regression, non child friendly. basic dni; homophobic, transphobic, biphobic, xenophobic, islamophobic, etc. misogynistic, racist, ableist, discriminatory, weightshaming; bodyshaming etc. invalidates a persons pronouns / gender / identity. says slurs you cant reclaim, p*dophile, sexualizes minors/fictional minors/children. pr0shippers, c0mshippers, ships ab*sive/toxic ships, jokes about sexual crimes. ddlg/ddlb/mdlb/clg, supports or justifies etc any of these. wriothesley and/or dottore fans im personally uncomfortable with these characters due to personal reasons and would prefer if you dont interact!/nbr Vivziepop media fans (helluva boss, hazbin hotel). people who fetishize gay men or lesbians & please do not repost my posts with f/o, kin, id tags!/nbr

my DNI is subject to be changed/updated in the future.

also please dont use my creations unless its a request or you ask/its stated you can! like personal things i make for my blog

🍼 > I go by Biccy or any nicknames! im nonbinary and go by gender neutral terms ! my most used pronouns are they/them

🐥 } I’m not comfortable sharing my big age but i am a minor! my little age is 5-7

🍼 > I am Autistic, i experience verbal shutdowns and have hyperfixations! I’m Physically disabled and chronically ill. I’m a Trauma regressor and this blog is what i use to help me regress/cope while focusing on being a kid!

🐥 }

🍼 > tags: biccys moodboards, biccys stimboards, biccys requests, biccy talking. (currently trying out stimboards on my own not doing requests of them yet though)

🐥 } I am new to doing requests so please be patient with me and be specific with your requests! (ex: if you want a paci or not) i take Moodboard, (trying stimboards too!) Paci edit, DNI banner, “(character) protects this blog!” banner requests! (There may be more things added/things removed in the future so check back for updates!) also p.s if i never respond to your ask its cus i lost it :( please send another if its been almost a week and theres no response! , please note also im better at doing requests for characters/fandoms/media i know of so please bare that in mind, however feel free to request any!

🍼 > Please be aware i have anxiety and lots of trouble talking with people expecially 1 on 1! so please do not dm this account at all/nbr/nm if you have anything to say outside of requests too please keep it in the ask box!/srs

My blog is SFW ONLY and i will ignore anything otherwise.

^_^ My interests 🐣 . . . !

}- Splatoon, Pokemon, Ducks, MHA, Cats, Cookie run, Animal crossing, Rei Ayanami, Reverse 1999, Ocs, Octonauts, Bluey, My little pony, Apex legends, Minecraft,

🐤 < Im more likely to give better output with requests on fandoms im familiar with ! however i will take requests regardless of being on my interest list; despite…

}- Problematic

}- Genshin Impact

}- Ship related

}- Nsfw/Suggestive etc

}- My dni

}- MHA (Nothing bad i just don’t want to do requests for it!)

}- Real/Alive people

Finally thank you for stopping by my safe space!

^_^ I hope you have a wonderful time here. ☁️

Gif credits —> X 💭 X | Layout credit —> X

[uselessvaldemarsimp]

"less-cannon-accurate" annnnd there it is, thanks for letting us know that the author of that "route" treats Valdemar being aroace just as an inconvenient little detail to be discarded. what a shame

DISCLAIMER: i am not aroace! this is simply my opinion, take what i say with a grain of salt

here’s what i have to say:

is valdemar good aroace representation in the first place?

i dont think so! their orientation was announced in a, correct me if im wrong, comment section of an instagram post, and no where else! the fact that they and vulgora, villains, are the only nonbinary characters that use they/them exclusively, and the fact that valdemar, again, a villain, is the only aroace character in the entire game, is simply overall bad representation! a villain being aroace isn’t inherently bad representation, but all other things considered in this specific situation, the creators seem to view aroace people as inhumane freaks! yikes!

is this an excuse to erase said gender and sexuality?

not really, no!

is the valdemar dorian route by ronelle otieno good aroace representation despite this?

i think so! it’s done very well in my opinion, being an integral part of their character, not explicitly stated but shown through their actions and storytelling, it honestly makes valdemar seem a little more human, the way that their orientation is shown. i think ronelle otieno took something that was a poorly done afterthought and made it into good representation

can aroace people partake in sex and romance?

yes! this is a pretty obvious fact that most people are aware of by now

since that’s the case, is the inclusion of sex and/or romance when engaging with an aroace character an erasure of their sexuality?

not inherently! again, aroace people Can partake in these things, despite what some people may think!

HOWEVER, is deviating from canon with an aroace character who has been explicitly stated to not have an interest in sex and romance an erasure of their sexuality?

honestly, this is where things get tricky, but i think i have a way of thinking about it:

do actions = attraction?

i dont think so! i think people can kiss whoever they want, have sex with whoever they want, give flowers to whoever they want, without it being a direct show of their orientation. therefore, while it may be deviating from canon, it isn’t an inherent erasure of the characters sexuality. an erasure of aroace sexuality would be having that character specifically show or state that they are romantically and/or sexually attracted to someone. that’s where we begin having issues! if you have a problem with deviating from canon, that’s an entirely different thing, and i suggest you never interact with fandoms ever! for your own sanity.

people swap the sexualities of characters all the time, why is it such an issue when people do it with aroace characters, or queer characters in general?

lack of representation! if all these different flavors of queer were normalized, as they should be, people wouldn’t have so much of an issue with playing around with characters sexualities, but because representation is spare, people cling onto these aspects of these characters for dear life, even if the representation isn’t good representation

so what should people be fighting for?

more representation! instead of hanging onto characters who’s orientation is already a badly done, arguably acephobic afterthought, maybe the best course of action is to make an effort to create more aro and/or ace representation in general!

at the end of the day, is this all that big of a deal?

not really! you are the the captain of your own ship. you can choose to interact with things, or dont! wasting energy arguing over something that wont change is not worth your precious time. using that energy to create and promote Good representation is probably a better use of ones energy.

i highly encourage aroace people, especially those who have read the dorian route, to share their opinions. i dont intend to speak For or Over aroace people, im just a stranger on the internet who has thought a lot about things that dont really matter a whole lot in the grand scheme of things

[jimmithy-tiastopher]

intro post ; ^_^

- my name is tia and toby, i don't mind what i get called

- my pronouns are she/he/they, i don't care what pronouns i get called - as long as it's not neo-pronouns

- my main platform is youtube : my username is tiastoleyourtoast on there ^^

- i'm aroace

- i'm an artist and animator, i mainly tween but very occasionally do frame-by-frame (but not a lot 💔)

- i'm bulgarian! 🇧🇬 i currently live in england and speak english as my main language, however :)

continue reading for more somewhat important info (including tw's for my content im planning on posting and jst some notes from me❤️)) ---v

fandoms ;

- bungo stray dogs!!!

- mindless self indulgence (fav band....)

- cookie run kingdom

- occasionally, i might draw characters from other fandoms, often from ones i dont really know that well because it's fun!!

tws for my content ;

- s/h and suicide, i often show it in my art because it helps me cope with my feelings, a lot of the characters i draw are with s/h scars so if you are uncomfortable with that - maybe head off my page!!

- blood, would probably be in some drawings i post

- nudity, recently i've been practicing a lot more with drawing the human body so there might be some nudity in some of my content

- csa / sa / grooming, again i show this sometimes (esp. recently) to cope with my feelings after being groomed and becoming hypersexual

- note ; i'll try to always add a tw for these on my posts, but i'm not best with tw's and i'm forgetful so please forgive if i accidentally forget to add on some!!!

posting ;

- sometimes i forget that i have certain social media so if i ever disappear for a while of time just assume i forgot tumblr exists for a bit hehe

- i'll definitely be infrequent with my posting so don't expect much from me 💔

final notes ;

- i wanna add on i kin osamu dazai from bsd heavily, especially when he was 15! i adore him and project onto him heavily, i specifically hc he was s/a'd as a child and is now hypersexual because of that, if that makes you uncomfortable, feel free to avoid posts where i mention that/avoid my posts entirely……

- to add onto that, i hc chuuya nakahara from bsd is trans, and has not had top surgery, and also that he s/h's.

- i have many hc's...... some may make you uncomfy, i apologise if they do!!!

- i ship skk, they bring me much comfort and make me happy, however i am also a multishipper so don't be surprised if you see shirachuu, sigzai, sigchuu or such from me!!

- asks are open and encouraged!!! i adore talking with my audience so feel completely free to send me asks or tag me in stuff you want me to see!

[kncrowder88]

So, I made a post awhile back about Olivia and her reaction to new arrivals. Specifically, I made it when Carisi arrived and talked about the shift between then and now. How I'd love to write and essay on it. Well, I'm in S23 now so past Elliot's return and her getting new faces again. (under a read more as it gets long sorry)

S16 is when Carisi arrives, he isn't immediately given a receptive response. However, its present differently due to the position Olivia is in. Remember, prior to Carisi the other new faces had been - Barba, Rollins, and Amaro. All of whom were not given immediate receptive responses as well.

Amanda actively tried to introduce herself in S13 to Olivia but it doesn't work. As Amanda is happy, eager, and giving this sort of fangirl vibe going right up to Olivia and saying who she is .... Olivia just cold shoulders her and walks off. It's an immediate "yeah no". Shortly later in that season, we see her confront Cragen about another NEW detective ("from warrants, he's good" Cragen tells her like that will appease her too). She is so off put by this that in the scenes when Casey and Alex blatantly pull a "so he's the new partner" style question ... Olivia either blatantly doesn't answer, gives a no, or finds some other way of actively denying it.

She does not want either of those two in S13 to be in the squad. These reactions aren't new, she was not receptive to Alex when she first appeared. And less so to Casey in her first episode (you know, right after Alex's presumed death). In S14, Barba has the "dont trust you" reaction from her. That standoffish reaction she gives to like EVERY new ADA face that walks into the precinct.

The thing is, all of these immediate reactions at this point (and to the extreme she gets to) honestly makes a lot of sense for her and her abandonment/attachment issues. Olivia grew close to Alex, lost her, got her back, then loses her again. She grew close to Casey, lost her, got her back, then lost her again. Both we lost in different ways (fake death vs suspension), and we can HC all we want about communication during suspension times but the show gives us NONE (its not just a 2.0 or current seasons issue doing that, SVU really has a 'not here, dont mention' problem a lot of the time). As well, just before she loses Casey and Alex AGAIN .... Elliot has left.

She doesn't WANT to let others close because in less than a year 3 people have walked out of her life and abandoned her. And while she is being professional, letting herself open up and heal within the work environment .... we dont really see her doing so outside work till .... oh hey an old face returns - Brian Cassidy. She allows HIM in outside work and the healing really kicks in more, we see it even just within the job. I love the relationship she had with Cassidy, it was very healing, but its not an end game ship for me for this sort of reason ... its what she needed then. To find a sort of closure in a old face that left once before as well, in order to LET herself allow these 3 new faces in.

Her is the thing ... she's not addressing the actual issues and is only forced to do so AFTER what happens in the S14 finale and into S15. Course, she could have opted to not actively participate with Lindstrum or just do what was needed to get back into SVU ... however she opts to participate. And this is when we truly see her start to heal - and sadly she receives some horrid comments around her about therapy while doing it.

I say all the above for a reason, by S16 Olivia has gone through it. Even been thrust into leadership. But so far, she's leading those she already knows. While actively seeking to heal herself more. Then we get Chief Dodds and Carisi as the new faces. Thing is, while we see she isn't receptive to Dodds its given a solid reason - the way he comes in is very "eh dont care for your unit" but that flips so fast on her that she has to re-evaluate her original assessment. Still is unsure about him, but she's giving him more of a chance. Where as with Carisi he strolls in eager beaver with that stash bounced from SVU precinct to SVU precinct that she immediately isn't sure.

But she is in charge now, she's the leader. Sure, she makes it clear to Fin her stance with certain phrasing. And Amanda and Amaro likely pick up on it - I cannot recall her actively saying anything really around them. But what she mainly does is a "you'll stick with me" thing. This is vastly different than before, before she didn't WANT any new face with her. Only did so because Cragen ordered her. She's leader, she could toss the new face at another and not deal until she is comfortable BUT ... again she's been getting help. She's confronting certain things ... and she's definitely trying to be an active leader. She opts to LET Carisi work directly with her, so much so that he is constantly like "she ever gonna trust me?" to the others.

That man picked up on it ... but here is the thing ... when Sergeant Dodds comes around she is less like that. He is the first new face we see her deal with in a bit of a different manner. He appears - just as eager as the others, just as ready ... and she immediately jumps into professional with him along with a sort of sticking him with Fin or her (think Amanda a few times) to learn the ropes. And Fin backs her here, telling Mike not just case corrections but Olivia leadership style corrections too. As she does, and Dodds is welcome probably faster than anyone has ever been by Olivia (and subsequently) and the squad.

Yes, Carisi was accepted by others but there was this sort of holding phase in the squad where everyone was waiting to see if he made it. That phase lasted episode (we can see the shift from when he's constantly stuck with Olivia, to then with others, to being allowed leeway more often), whereas with Mike it was maybe two episodes, three tops. (and we cant forget during this time she got into another relationship - yet again with a face she's known previously but has come to understand better ... Tucker)

With S17 we start to see a shift again (and not just with Olivia), but the season ended with the loss of Mike and her leaving with Tucker to Paris. When she returns ... that relationship fell apart. It's seemingly out of no where - and I still think it could have lasted if she spoke up about in with Lindstrom or something - however when looking at it all ... much of it is likely due to their different reactions to Mike's death. Tucker looked towards a future, retiring, settling down, finding a life AFTER the job. While Olivia got back from Paris and jumped right back into work with that sort of "if everything stays how it is nothing changes" reaction (there is a reason Cragen told her that line about what needs to change is what will type thing). Tucker wanted to LIVE and Olivia was closing off herself (likely without realizing it given the scenes we see).

You then get Barba getting suspended - difference this time is he isn't gone. He returns the next ep and we find out. Based on the timing between the two eps, it seems it was mere weeks. But its pretty much a year later, that Barba ends up resigning from the DA office. And we get Peter Stone ... the guy who tried him. And Olivia not only gives the - You are a new ADA so I dislike you on sight - response she gives to all who replace her ADAs but also a bonus "you have gone at one of my own, so now I must despise you". This ultimately shifts quickly for her as Peter proves himself.

The first person we see get a full "Hi, you new, but I wont be horrible about that" reaction from Olivia 'new faces should get punched' Benson is .... Chief Garland and Kat Tamin. And he comes in as a result of Chief Dodds leaving, but despite that while she is stiff she's professional and as he is very much similar to her (and yet different) she eases so easily. He walks in and behaves and screams "on your side" so fast for her that it is a lot easier for her to allow those walls still in her to not block him out.

With Tamin, when she walks in this individual who actually has to be trained INTO a detective ... something earlier Benson would have balked at ... Olivia gives her a warm welcome. Allows her and the squad to see these cases aren't going to be for everyone, and lets her know thats okay (likely this is very similar to how Cragen welcomed her as a new detective - also possibly new officer at the 1-6 given she was there pre-detective too if you look at her timeline history). By this point she has once more had someone leave the squad - Carisi is ADA now but still she is far more welcoming to Tamin that she has been to others.

Basically ... she is fine. She's good. She's addressing and healing and she's reached the point in her life where new face doesn't immediately equal "get them away from me" reactions.

That's all fine and dandy you know ... but then barely a year later(ish) you got this lovely thing that happens where she is going to be getting an award but then a 10-13 gets sent out and she's been requested at the scene. She shows up and immediately she recognizes an old face. Like ... ten years into her past old. Only thing is, that face is currently on a stretcher and being loaded into an ambulance and she has to be wrong right? Right? RIGHT? .... Then a voice calls out and she's turning and there is the face that would obviously be with that face on the stretcher and her whole world just got uprooted, flipped around, and the Stablers are back.

She's cool though, she handles it .... somewhat. I mean she does get turned around in Mercy hospital after a convo with Stabler unable to find the exit in a hospital she has been in and out of for over 20 years. But she finds a way, she works to manage. She doesn't collapse and she keeps guiding and its okay because no new face is going to arrive right. She has her .... oh wait Chief Garland is now gone and Tamin gets shot and is gone ....

And she has to accept Chief McGrath and this Velasco guy who she knows is close to McGrath .... and we immediately start seeing the "new face means punch them right?" Olivia again.

Now, with McGrath ... valid. The way he swoops in and behaves, the things he says, everything does not really give her a cause to see him as someone on her side or the units side - the key things that have let her bypass that reaction with everyone else. Have the back of her people, be on their side, and she lets you in (even as a Detective - if the ADAs didn't have their back she wouldn't really have theirs - this is something actively called out in the show between Sonya and Alex in a conversation and that we see. Even if its only a perceived "dont support us" thing). McGrath is not giving her that.

With Velasco she leaves him primarily to Fin and Amanda. She cuts him off on things he says, corrects him, or shuts down this or that. But you can see she is actively trying not to let her bias on how he is in her unit effect her while still not trusting him. This shifts as the episodes go but she's yet to let him in (by S23E12 neither McGrath or Velasco is fully accepted - though Velasco is closer).

Now, I could really break down every tiny thing that contributes to this (i didn't even get into the Noah of it all) but I really wanted to run through up to this point. As by this point, Stabler has only been back for about a year. This can be worked out a few ways - Wheatley trial is in December, ep starts at Kathy's gravestone and a "been nine months" line is within this point along with visiting for her birthday (that being in November). She has had a return and two losses within a singular year, those losses both at the same point as well. And technically, we could say 3 given she was previously close to Kathy (the show may not get into her grief opting to show other things, her being the support system, but yeah).

That is just that year and not even getting into all the other things that occured during just S22 and start of S23. We already see her old behavior starting to emerge (the interrogation when Elliot tells her to step out turn off the camera and she's all "I like to watch" reaction is very DETECTIVE Benson) while her abandonment/attachment issues starting rearing. We even know she had a whole session with Lindstrom - that she called him for - over the fact Elliot returned.

Now, while my watch hasn't gotten to those points I'm going to address it anyways .... S23 doesn't give us more than Velasco and McGrath. And what we see of how Olivia handles Ayanna and OCTF/OCCB is rather interesting as well. She's receptive and kind to Ayanna, professional and honestly more okay with her than we've seen her with other units she's had to be around (no really usually SVU working with other units is hilarious because the immediate unit-unit distrust just explodes). She isn't cold to any of the others, Jet is someone she actually calls to us and trusts in a case, and she was able to recognize Morales outside of regular clothes and in hospital scrubs with ease.

Basically, they may not be her people but she learned them and shows trust to them. We see her do similar with Phoebe Baker when she appears and Fin says he knows her and she's good. We didn't get that with Casey remember? Elliot knew her but Olivia was still off put by her initially (probably some other examples I can't grab off the top of my head right now). But here we see her pulling a "you trust, I'll trust" with ease - this tells us that the healing she's been going through hasn't vanished entirely.

By S24, we get Muncy - who Olivia offers the position to. This is a shift in things, this isn't her requesting people then getting random assignment. Or getting someone she suspects is a mole type thing. But someone she sees potential in and draws them in. Bruno comes next, brought in by Fin. We get Curry who asks to be on the unit. And then Kate Silva, who I sadly can't recall entirely how it happened. The revolving door that is SVU is presenting a new face every season thing basically, and Olivia .... is not being openly cold to any of them.

Basically, to sum up this long essay I began and didn't even get to get into everything (because honestly I'd have to break down a lot of things and no one wants that tumblr post) .... Carisi is a clear turning point we can see within her recovery and healing, not to mention leadership. A point that gets jostled right after Mike Dodds death and all that keeps happening right after that, but she copes. She uses what she was taught, and keeps herself stepping forward. Only for her world to blow up - figuratively and literally in a sense - with the return of the past. There is so much reason for that, and while she is still struggling with it up to S26 she's found a ground to stand on. Admittedly, she's being unhinged but that isn't really unusual Olivia Benson behavior ... its more the lack of care kicking back in for herself that we see in some episodes. That willingness to sacrifice herself reappearing again.

We do not get to see her constantly in therapy every single episode, but we do know she is still ten years later actively going (and trying new forms as well). She's constantly is working to recover and rebuild and heal - from ALL of her traumas. And the fact we can trace that with her receptiveness to new faces is honestly impressive. Its a tiny little detail, and may not even be deliberate (writers and showrunners change on this show after all), but its there and it can arguably be seen to fit with ease.

Now that I've said all this .... this upcoming L&O crossover is going to make all the above so really really fascinating to revisit in a few days. I mean .... abandonment/attachment/loss issues rearing their head within Olivia and battling them back to a sense of stability .... just you know. Thoughts.

[princemick]

TUMBLR F1BLR RULES!!!

hi, hello and welcome, we've seen what's been happening to twitter and we welcome you to our little corner.

there are however some things that differ from Twitter to Tumblr and so we have some different rules and behaviour then you might be used to!! I'm gonna try to explain them to you in this post! everything is below the tab!

reblog reblog reblog!!! likes do absolutely nothing, and your blog 'aestetic' in reblogs doesn't really matter unless you're a specific aesthetic blog, reblog are the way people see the content. likes are private! so remember to reblog the stuff you see and like!

DO NOT STEAL GIFS/GRAPHICS I WILL COME AFTER YOU!!! always ask if you can use a gif an then ALWAYS CREDIT properly

shipping is, prevalent. shipping even rpf is ingrained into tumblrs culture on every side of it if you dont like it thats a you thing, you can 'blacklist' tags so just add 'rpf' or the shipnames to them and you should be good!

continuing with that idea, curate your own experience is the most important thing on this site, blocking and blacklisting is normal and very much allowed and welcomed. almost no one is going to change how they do or act around here for one person, just unfollow or blacklist.

but do NOT put long posts or x reader fics, anything in the main tag without putting it under a 'read more' tab people will get annoyed by you

followers dont matter!!! no one CARESSS about basically anything this site is wonderfully anonymous and we can't see how many followers anyone has so genuinely no one gives a shit do whatever you want

remember to trigger tag and unlike twitter spell it out completely! so when a crash happens or is talked about make sure to tag it 'tw crash' even with reblogs!! also remember to tag when you're being negative about a driver as 'anti *insert first name*' never do full name then it will show up in their tags which defeats the purpose of anti tagging.

adding to that, use tags! they're one of the best tumblr features its free to be overenthusiastic and excited in the tags BUT the blog you can reblog it from AND the op can also read those tags so keep that in mind!!

be nice! this shud be a given, be nice, let people do their thing and vibe, just support people and block when u you dont vibe with them! when you do wanna send hate asks do it off anon, dont be shy do it on main

and things arnt 'weird' in the same way they are on twitter, this place has no drivers and no public figures so shame is a lot less existent here, you have to get used to that

and lastly as quoted by my anon 'Don't be afraid to be funny or weird be thirsty on main ship the middle aged man no one cares.'

and most of all. HAVE FUN!!! dont be scared to ask people how things work most of us are very okay with answering 'dumb' questions a lot of us have been here for about a decade we know its a confusing platform please ask away!

[littlemisssatanist]

on the topic of alicent's sexuality

ok ok so this is a little late but if im going to be honest, ive completely lost any interest in hotd when the first episode came out and its taken a little bit to get back into it. i already mentioned this in a twitter gc when the first alicole leaks came out but i wanted to put it into better words for tumblr.

foreword: i am a lesbian.

a lot of people on twitter, specifically rhaenicents, were up in arms about the alicole leaks because they couldnt understand the idea that alicent isnt a lesbian. now, i understand having a headcanon and it being disproven by canon. i understand the struggles rhaenicents went through against daemyras when the first season came out, because i was a rhaenicent also. im not a rhaenicent anymore (id call myself more interested in alicole, but im still a multishipper).

however, the idea that theres no way in hell alicent could ever be bisexual really rubs me the wrong way. i wont even get into all the undercover biphobia that had been going on on twitter when these leaks first came out, but the fact that a woman fucking a man suddenly means theres no way she could ever be queer speaks volumes about how the larger hotd fandom views the bisexual community. this is already a very large and ongoing problem within the community, the fight against homophobes and biphobes that you 'have to choose a side' and that if you have a straight-passing relationship automatically means you are straight. the idea that alicent can only be a lesbian or straight pushes this bad notion further.

now, lets get into why rhaenicents are so desperate to have alicent be a lesbian. i get it. you want lgbt representation in mainstream media, i do too. i want to see myself represented in media, i place headcanons about many characters sexualities all the time. the difference is that i understand the difference between headcanon and canon. imo, many rhaenicents desperately want lesbian alicent to be a canon thing, instead of settling for headcanons and fanfiction and fanon. i understand that too. i understand the want to have canon lesbian representation; however they have to come to the realization that hotd was never meant to be lgbt representation. laenor's storyline was included because it was in the original book, and it was stated outright that he was gay. rhaenicent was always the make of the show, it was never stated to be canon in either show OR book, and thats why it will never be canon.

im not saying that to be mean. im saying that because thats how it is. hotd is not supposed to be lgbt representation, its meant to be an adaptation of fire and blood (and i have my own thoughts about how well thats going, but thats not the point of this post).

its ok for things to be headcanons. in 2023, the most popular ship on ao3 was steddie (steve harrington/eddie munson) from stranger things. is it canon? no!!! its the most popular ship because people like seeing gay people in media, regardless of whether theyre canon or not. sasunaru is the most popular ship in naruto, and theyre not canon either! they know its ok for things not to be canon; thats why fanon exists in the first place. i think rhaenicents should get used to this. this is what fandom is like. im not sure what else to tell you about that.

theres a particular argument of rhaenicents i want to talk about. 'alicents struggles in the show reflect the struggles of lesbians and comphet in the modern world.' now. as a lesbian who has struggled with comphet in the past, this argument actually annoys me a lot. alicents struggles (being forced into a marriage she didnt want, forced to have children she didnt want) stem from the fact that she is a woman in westerosi society, not because she is a lesbian.

and sure! you can headcanon that alicent is a lesbian with comphet, but the problem is that: we dont have enough insight into alicents head to be able to tell the difference between comphet and misogyny. comphet is a very personal struggle, and its different for everyone. hotd focuses not only on alicent, and we simply do not see enough of her thoughts to be able to tell.

anyways, i guess my point is this: you can headcanon whatever you want. however, the moment you start being angry at other people for viewing things differently than you is the moment i dont really care about what you think. so youre a rhaenicent?? great! wonderful! i hope you have fun. you think alicoles are stupid and attack them for shipping? i think you have absolutely no experience in fandom. if a female/male ship is enough to make you fall apart the moment you see it, then youre not going to have a lot of fun being in fandoms later on.

[f1rewalk3r]

i dont talk about being NPD pretty much ever because why would i lol but i wanted to bring it up specifically in this context:

Jimmy is my favorite character from Mouthwashing.

I don’t want or intend to excuse his actions- his assault of Anya is the literal catalyst for the story- but I don’t believe he’s a “bad person” because I don’t believe in the ontological distinction between “good” and “bad” people. Pulling a page from BoJack Horseman- there are only good and bad actions. And Jimmy makes a lot of really awful decisions! But fuck, I think he is so well written when he makes these bad choices. Again, not attempting to excuse or downplay him raping Anya- I myself have been the victim of some pretty shitty stuff. But I’ve also perpetuated some pretty shitty stuff. So here’s a narcissist’s perspective of a narcissist:

I think it’s possible to recognize and atone for shitty choices. However, it can be difficult, especially for a narcissist, to recognize the consequences of their actions in the immediate context of making them. He crashes the ship because he is faced with the fact that his post as co-pilot will mean nothing after the layoff. Meanwhile, the heroic leader of a crew stranded in space? That’s something. Something that almost certainly will overshadow the inevitability of Anya immediately reporting him the second the cargo run is over, and, better a hero or a castaway then an unemployed rapist, right? He didn’t mean to horrifically maim curly, but hey; he’s captain now! What good luck! And with Curly unable to speak, the entire Responsibility can be placed on him for the crash.

There’s something to be said also for the conversation he and Curly have just before the crash. He tells Curly that he was supposed to be responsible for everything. He was supposed to take care of it. Here’s the thing about narcissists- we’re really good at avoiding responsibility. So his rape of Anya isn’t his fault, not *really*- Curly was supposed to be responsible! But now Jimmy has all the responsibility. So he starts making choices- and they aren’t good ones.

I don’t think he wanted or expected Daisuke to be horribly maimed by the vent- in fact, I would expect a totally delusional mindset that he would totally be fine crawling through the vent to be very in character for Jimmy or any other narcissist. But obviously he won’t do it himself. He doesn’t want to put himself in danger- but very likely, he believes that Daisuke is simply the better choice due to his training.

I don’t think many of Jimmy’s bad actions (that we see over the course of the game) are conscious ones. He’s simply acting in line with his worldview. You see, here’s the thing about narcissism- having low or no empathy kind of sucks, actually! That’s not just me playing the victim (admittedly something narcissists are wont to do) - when you have low empathy, it’s incredibly difficult to believe that other people do. So when he tells Daisuke that Swansea is saving the last pod for himself- that’s not him consciously manipulating Daisuke. It is a very obvious manipulation, but Jimmy genuinely believes that Swansea intends to use the pod for himself- because it’s exactly what he would do if he was in Swansea’s position, and that in of itself is enough for him to vilify Swansea.

Similarly, I don’t think he intended to cause Daisuke suffering by disinfecting him with the mouthwash- we, as the player, remember Anya saying it’s useless as disinfectant- but that’s because it’s been mere hours for us, while for Jimmy, it’s been months. He genuinely believes it will help Daisuke.

We get to see a lot of his own rationalization with his donneresque dinner party and his conversation with Curly- as long as someone survives, he can be a hero, he can gain public recognition and respect- what more could a narcissist want? I mean, I’m a semipro musician- I would fucking know.

When his sanity starts to slip, and he’s attacked by horrific monstrosities - that’s a subconscious manifestation of his guilt. Until the end, he is unable to reflect at all- but that doesn’t stop the subconscious from seeing through the artifice of ego.

To the last moment, his directive is to “take responsibility,” and in his own twisted way, he does! He does in the most selfish way. When he finally recognizes the last step he can take to fix everything, it is the most selfish one of all. It is his last resort- not one he chooses earlier, although he perhaps could have and spared the crew plenty of suffering. I think it’s powerful that his last words are that he can fix everything- because he really could have, if he had just gotten off the Bad Choice road.

This post is far too personal and far too meandering at this point- so I’ll leave it at this. Jimmy is a man who does some truly monstrous, unforgivable things, and I love him. He’s my favorite.

[thevalleyoftriumph]

actually not to keep talking abt a topic hours later but i want to build off of one of my tags on that ultrakill post i rb'd last night [and im ONLY going to expand on one of my points, i will not be bringing up any other arguments in this post]

people love love love to say stuff like "pronouns =/= gender" [correct] and that you dont NEED to have specific pronouns such as he/him or she/her to be gay or lesbian [also correct], and while these two are great points that i agree with, it seems that these peoples support for this only goes as far as they/them users.

the absolute SECOND that a characters gender expression is canonically different from a "classic nonbinary" expression, its suddenly "up in the air" and "for your interpritation." and why is that?

specifically in the case of v1 and v2 from ultrakill; two canonically genderless/genderqueer/agender/nonbinray/what have you characters. v1 is VERY commonly seen as masc, and v2 is very commonly seen as fem.

v1 and v2 are also commonly headcannoned as gay and lesbian, respectively. theyre commonly shipped with characters seen as masc and fem. do you see what connections im beginning to see?

like it or not, by disregarding the canonical gender expression [or lacktherof] for these two, in order to fit them both into simple, binary, gendered boxes to also fit your specific sexuality headcanon - is in fact, an act of erasure! it comes off as INCREDIBLY iffy to fit nonbinary characters into a "masc nonbinary" and "fem nonbinary" binary.

and the fact is, i see people less often use other pronouns than it/its for these two for headcanon purposes or for fun or for projection, and more for SHIPPING purposes. there is a MASSIVE difference between adding onto a characters canonical pronouns for your own enjoyment and preference, and COMPLETELY changing them because you want a certain ship to be more gay, or whatever. an it/its user can be gay! it can also be a lesbian! it using it/its doesnt make it any less gay or any less of a lesbian, and it definitely doesnt make it any less nonbinary/genderqueer!

idk its just like. the machines in ultrakill [and most importantly v1 as the player character] being exclusively referred to as it/its is a major part of them and who they are. it is how they all express their gender CANONICALLY in the game. there are no other refferals no other pronouns, nothing. by disregarding this fact SO quickly, along with often only being for shipping reasons, you are showing that you Do Not Care for what the canon text is trying to tell you about the machines. im sorry but thats how it reads to me.

genuinely people love nonbinary characters until theyre the "wrong kind" of nonbinary, and all of a sudden jump through as many hoops as they physically can to disregard anything to do with that.

end of posts notes because if this post gets rb'd in any way or even breaches containment i know people will say stuff at me;

1] no, hakitas tweet about using "whatever you want" for the machines doesnt count IN THIS POST. nor does the discord. not everyone who plays the game is going to SEE either of those. while you could consider it canon [and i do! trust me! hakitas word is absolutely canon!] that doesnt mean it is ABSOLUTE, or the canon that is being INTENDED to be shown. most people are only going to see the in-game text, which is what is most important to me considering this post.

2] ive seen people making the argument that making nonbinary characters inhuman is like. bad rep or something idk im not doing the argument justice bc i dont remember it. but to that i say yes, i agree! we DO need more human nonbinary rep! boiling down every nonbinary person to be inhuman is Bad and you shouldnt instantly assume everyone whos nonbinary is Not Human! because that is really awful! do not misinterprite my stance here, i know what kind of website this is regarding reading comprehension! however comma that is not the point here. the machines using it/its isnt just from them being "inhuman nonbinary characters," it is a PART of the intended gender expression youre meant to gain from them. besides personally i adore inhuman nonbinary characters bc they kick ass and also im not human either. heart emoji.

3] no i am not saying you CANT listen to hakita and use different pronouns for the machines. at the end of the day hakitas word, regardless of if its in the game or not, is canon. im not your boss i cant tell you what to do. im not a fan of using he/him or she/her for Either v1 or v2 myself, but if it makes you happy, i literally cannot stop you. i hold no power over your decisions. i am once again saying, i am NOT tell you that you CANT do it.

just please. if your kneejerk reaction to being told "do what feels comfortable" about a characters pronouns, is to immediately assign the characters with it/its pronouns arbitrary masc/fem ones instead.. if that is your immediate kneejerk reaction, then PLEASE stop for a moment and consider why you feel that way specifically.

[riddlesmoon]

being part of a few hermione fanfic groups on fb has been quite enlightening bc i get to see the kind of ships and dynamics that primarily cishet older women hp fans like. especially since i get to contrast it with, say, tomarry and drarry fans (mostly on twt, but some on tumblr too) and most interesting of all, cn fans. which, granted, are also mostly tomarry and drarry because, well, i also ship them so thats the kinda content im seeking out yk.

so whats interesting about it? well, to start with, i am putting this under the cut because holy shit my ass can YAPPPPP and no one actually gives a fuck but i wanna get it out even if no one reads it! Also an ever important DISCLAIMER that this is my personal opinion and is highly subject to bias and only seeing a certain sphere of people and i dont know what im talking about so please dont @ me im stupid.

as i said, theyre older (many married or with kids! they even sometimes talk to their husbands about said fics, which is... sweet), and... probably mostly het. so i would say (though i have no stats) the rough popularity of hermiones partners (in those groups specifically) are draco >>> sirius > snape, tom > rarer pairs like lucius theo dolohov viktor cedric >>> harry > ron and femslash (i will come back to this). maybe i could compare with ao3 stats later to see how well i pegged it but for now im mostly just going off popularity of certain posts and how often i see "please share fic recs of X ship")

i feel like millenial/younger hp fans would balk at the idea of sirius, snape, lucius, and dolohov, but i do think this can be chalked up to them being older and thus more interested in "adult" characters. and rarely do they talk about fics set in canon timelines, more often i see recs with time travel (which effectively solves many of the age gap problems), or otherwise set in the future, where age gap becomes less remarkable as theyre adults. marriage law or pregnancy are also common tropes...

i did wonder for a while if this was a yume/selfship phenomenon and that perhaps older western women just didnt know or use that term? after all, hermione is the most prominent female character in hp, and obviously can be very relatable since, like the reader, she is from the muggle world discovering the magical world, and a bookworm, which has a 70% chance of being true if you are a girl reading a book i think. so i was like, ah, shes can be kind of a good way to self insert into the hp universe or at least a good way find a vast amount of ship fic since shes so popular.

however i dont think this is the case—im not 100% sure of course, i asked one (1) time but it appears most of them are genuinely invested in hermione as a character and arent using her as a self insert board. not that either is bad or worse, im not passing judgement!!! though i do think it makes sense, since, from my view, the self insert phenomenon is often seen in younger fans who are less secure in their self image and want their fav to reassure them without fear of rejection soooo yk (and what does that say abt me who has a yume harem? well youre not my therapist so we dont have to talk about it)

aaaaanyway. this fucking long ass post is mostly just because i remember getting culture shock'd twice while looking thru cn comments. for example, i was surprised to see romione viewed so positively, because holy shit do those hermione fic fans fucking hate romione. and harmony next, but it isnt as bad as romione. any post asking for fic recs inevitably ends in "no romione", but cn fans think theyre kinda cute.

i have some theories. for one, they think ron is extremely unromantic. this is exacerbated by the yule ball incident, but in all honesty at no point in the books does ron really do anything romantic for hermione and in fact treats her pretty badly. the kiss at the end was, in my personal opinion, a bit random, but i dont think its an unpopular view that what ron does doesnt make up for the past years especially since the very cause he is advocating for (the house-elves) is one he has disparaged before.

of course you can argue the same for all of the other candidates, that they dont do anything romantic for her either, but i think there is a difference, because for all those candidates they dont have a "chance" in canon to pursue her (save viktor) because theyre not viewing each other as potential partners, but ron is in that position and goes about it pretty badly. for everyone else, writers can make up whatever they want! for ron, well, you have to work with (or against) what canon gave you.

next, i think a lot of them really like when hermiones prowess is appreciated. a lot of fic recs have her being quite badass or kind of holding things together (to be fair, she does this for the trio a lot) and her partner usually acknowledges her power while being on an equal or better level. so i guess that turns a lot of them off romione since he spends a lot of time in canon brushing her off while using her brains etc... being praised hits different when its a dunderhead who needs ur help vs someone just as brilliant ykyk. its not looking good.

side note on harmony: i think this suffers from a similar phenomenon in that canon gives us their friendship tgt and people have already seen that together, sparks dont fly. ofc people can make up whatever they want but when one char canonically says "i see her as a sister" you kind of have to overwrite that in your head and not everyone is willing to do that.

Sorry wtf was i talking about. uh. cn. right. so why doesnt cn have this problem? well for one i think they may be younger than this western group, which makes sense since the series is originally english so it hit foreign audiences a bit later. that and i wonder how many cn fans actually read the books vs the movies (which dilutes the aforementioned problems a lot)? the movies are def more accessible for non english fans i think. but yea i think those women, being older, are more no-nonsense and less fairytale daydream-y about their potential partner. thinking more realistically about who theyd settle down with versus younger fans who are like its fine if theyre hes silly and stupid theyre young. btw this also applies to jily which i see cn (and jp. all this applies to jp for similar non english reasons) post about more frequently; whereas in english sphere i FEEL LIKE (i must again emphasise this is all subject to bias) of the marauders i mostly only see wolfstar discussion. dgmw theres plenty of wolfstar in cn spheres!! i just also see jily where i dont in en)

And of course you can throw everything i said out the window because its not like i have a particularly extensive or wide range of sample data. very little actually. i just. noticed stuff. and was surprised. and want to TALK. Arugh