#watch me immediately get stuck again after this breakthrough

[squarebracket-trickster]

gosh I'm normally not one to write to music (or get inspiration from music for my WIPs) but Never Let Me Go (Florence + the Machine) has done something to my brain.

So I have like 16+ WIPs and, of course, some are higher priority than others. And I have this one WIP (placeholder name: WIPX) which is really low down on the priority list. It was basically just a sort of whumpy idea I daydreamed about once and thought might be fun to revisit one day. But I wasn't particularly attached to any of the characters/worldbuilding yet and the plot was pretty simple and underdeveloped. I still fully expect this story to be a short standalone.

But GOD does Never Let Me Go fit the vibes so fucking well. Religious symbolism, ocean imagery, ANGST. I'm mad it was not intended to be about mermaids because damn. It feels like it is about mermaids and temptation and drowning in bliss and being lured to your doom by your heart's darkest desires. aka mermaids.

And it's like the themes of this song (at least as I interpret them) are the missing puzzle piece of WIPX for me. Suddenly I have direction. I have ideas about how to tie all the threads I have set up into something that can build into a "single final confrontation". I am unequivocally certain of the imagery and vibes and themes and mood, of the "type of story" I want to tell.

And I didn't originally have any religious imagery in the WIP, although I did start flirting with the idea before I realized how apt a song Never Let Me Go is for this project. But damn, opening the story with a scene that takes place in a Catholic-inspired cathedral dripping with images of hellish mermaids reaching with long-nailed fingers toward the worshippers in the pews, as though to drag them from beneath the heavenly light of the stained glass windows into shadow. It just gives this WIP about a bunch of nepo babies who rescue a mermaid from a lab and end up on the run from their overcontrolling parents who are convinced the mermaid must have them in some sort of thrall, so much more depth.

Still trying to figure out what exactly it is implying, but there is a nice contrast that is tying into things that already exist in the WIP and it feels very rich for it.

Suddenly this WIP got bumped wayyy up the priority list.

Once I figure out the implications I shall be unstoppable. mwah hahaha

[shinestarhwaa]

PHYSICAL || KANG YEOSANG

Genre: Smut, mild angst and fluff

Pairing: Genius!Yeosang x Bartender!Femreader

Word Count: 1.9K

Tags/Warnings: Friends to lovers AU, College student Yeosang, Yeosang is anxious and sad, Protected sex, Oral sex, Virgin!Yeosang, Experienced!reader, Praise

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @mjyungi @bratty-tingz @sugarnspice630 @stardragongalaxy @bro-atz @wisejudgedragonhairdo @mingisg00dgirl @vesvosmozhno

ENJOY!

"Can I have two vodka shots, please?"

A beautiful guy sat on the stool right on front of you. His hair was dark and kind of fell before his eyes. His skin was pale and you noticed a little red mark on the side of his face, looking like a birthmark. His shoulders were tense and his leg bounced up and down rapidly. He must feel nervous or anxious, you figured. You gave him a smile and nodded, filling two shotglasses with straight vodka. The guy thanked you and put some money down and immediately after he took both shots. "Re-fill, please."

"Wow, you must have a rough night," you say as you re-fill the shot glasses. "You shouldn't shot too much vodka though." "I know the exact amount of vodka I can handle, thank you," he says, putting more money down. He shots the vodka again and sighs deeply.

You keep watching him as you're making a martini cocktail for another customer. You had never seen this guy around before, while you usually tend regulars. The guy thanked you again and left the bar, leaving you a little confused, wondering who he was.

A few nights later he showed up again, sitting down on the same stool. You walked up to him and smiled. "Good evening," you greeted him. "Hey, could I get a scotch on the rocks?" "Sure," you nodded, making his drink.

You watched him drink it but he seemed not to like it very much. "Something wrong with your drink, sir?" "No, no, I just... I don't usually drink alcohol. It's not my thing. But I kinda need it right now." You nodded, understanding where he comes from. A lot of people who come to the bar for drinks come to forget about their current situation.

"What's bugging you?" You asked. "Honestly? I feel like I'm at a dead end,'' he sighed. ''A dead end? About what?'' He then started to explain he's a Physics student at the university nearby and his research is failing. ''I was so sure, you know? I was so sure I'd have a breakthrough but all my inspiration is just gone. I've got nothing and the deadline is coming up soon. I'm just... stuck and I can't get over it.''

''Well then get on top of it, of someone,'' you grinned, ''Let your stress out.'' ''I don't have sex,'' he stated, sipping from his glass. You looked at him, intrigued. ''You do not have sex? Are you a-sexual?'' ''Oh, no, not necissarily. Well. I don't really know actually. I haven't paid attention to those sort of things. It is not like I do not want sex though. I would... But no one really likes me or anything so I stopped caring a while ago. It is what it is you know?''

You frowned and looked at him up and down to which he gave you a questioning look. ''What?'' ''Well,'' you sighed, ''I just can't understand how people don't like you. You're kind. You're hot. What's there not to like?'' ''Well, the fact that I am a virgin,'' he said quietly. ''I don't know why people care about those things, I sure don't.''

The guy looked at you, with hopeful, big brown eyes. ''You don't?'' ''No, I don't think it is right to judge someone for being a virgin. I don't care about that stuff.'' ''So you'd have sex with me?'' The two of you were quiet now. ''You want me to have sex with you?'' you grinned as you cleaned some glasses, ''Are you sure about that?'' ''Well I... I'd like to try it and you just said I'm handsome right? And that you do not mind my virginity. You said it might help, right?''

You laughed. ''You're really endearing. What's your name?'' ''Oh, I apologize, how rude of me. I'm Kang Yeosang.'' ''Nice to meet you Yeosang, I'm Y/N. You'll need that when you're moaning out my name tonight after I'm done with my shift,'' you smirked. Yeosang swallowed thickly, biting his lip. ''Really?'' ''Really. I get off at 11, wait for me? I'll take you to my place, it's right down the street.'' Yeosang nodded and politely waited, drinking his bitter whiskey.

A while later you approached him again when your shift had ended. You took his hand and giggled at his shocked expression. ''Come with me cutie.'' Your seductive voice made Yeosang's hormones rage through his body. In a matter of minutes you got into your apartment, taking off coats and shoes and you took him to your couch.

''Have you kissed before, Yeosangie?'' He nodded shyly, ''A long timeago, but yes, I have... I know how that part works. It's the part after that I don't know.'' You nodded and pulled him close. You pressed your lips against his and God, were they soft. He looked so clean and polished and he probably took good care of his lips too. How else would they be this soft? They were so warm too, making you completely melt into the kiss. His lips parted slightly, allowing your tongue to slip inside his mouth.

You pressed your body onto his and he tensed up, probably never have felt this before. You pulled back and ran your hand through his hair. ''Never felt a woman's body before, have you, Yeosangie?'' He shook his head, swallowing thickly. He was already growing a raging boner in his pants that needed to be freed. You palmed his crotch and his cheeks heated up, growing red. ''It's okay, Sangie, I'm gonna take care of you. No reason to be afraid, okay?'' He nodded and took a deep breath to relax himself.

Standing up, you took him to your bedroom for more comfort. He sat down on the edge of the bed, looking around curiously as you got on your knees in front of him. He blushed when your gentle hands travelled up his thigh towards his zipper. You grinned at the bashful boy as you opened up his corduroy pants. Your heart was racing with excitement when you pulled his pants and boxers down, revealing his hard, girthy length.

''Look at that,'' you breathed out, your hot breath fanning over the tip of his twitching cock. ''I-I'm sorry if-'' ''No. You're perfect the way you are, Sangie, you're never gonna apologize for your body, you're beautiful, I promise,'' you assured him before he could say any more. He nodded and then took his sweater off. To your surprise he was more muscly than you'd expect. ''You look like a greek God, Yeosang, I swear. Except your cock is much bigger,'' you smirked.

He blushed again, to which you laughed soundly. ''Y/N, don't embarrass me!'' Yeosang whined. ''I'm sorry angel, I'll make you feel good now.'' You took off your top, revealing your black lacy bra before you took his cock into your hand. You gently slid your tongue over the tip of his dick while looking Yeosang in the eyes. He whimpered softly and bit his lip, full of anticipation. ''Don't worry about lasting long baby,'' you commented before you took him into your mouth.

Your lips parted beautifully around his cock and he grunted at the sight of it. Bobbing your hair up and down, you coated his long shaft with saliva. You hollowed your cheeks and sucked while your hands fondled his balls. ''Y/N, oh God,'' he moaned out, leaning back a little. One of his hands ran through your hair and by the heavy twitching of his dick you knew he would definitely not last long. But considering he was a virgin and new to all this pleasure you did not mind at all, in fact, you were proud you're able to get him off so quickly.

In a matter of seconds his moans grew louder and he burst, spilling himself into your mouth. You let go of his cock and swallowed his cum with a smirk as you watched him regain his breath. ''God, You are amazing Y/N,'' he smiled. You grinned and got up, undressing yourself until you were naked in front of him.

''Take a good look if you want, Sangie,'' you said as he admired your bare body. ''You're beautiful,'' he smiled, and you knew it was genuine. ''Do you wanna touch me?'' you asked. Yeosang looked nervous and he looked down. ''I don't know how to do all that...''

You caressed his cheek softly and he looked back at you again. ''Honey, I can teach you all that. Let me ride you first, hm? We've got time,'' you assured him. Yeosang nodded and laid against your pillows. ''Like this?'' he asked. You nodded and took a condom from your drawer, rolling it down his shaft. ''Perfect, babe.''

Yeosang put his hands on your hips when you positioned yourself on top of him. ''Are you ready, Yeosang?'' ''Yes, I am... I want you,'' he breathed out, his hands running up to your breasts, cupping them gently. You smiled at the sweet boy, knowing you were about to take his virginity and teach him about all the kinds of pleasure you could bring each other.

You let yourself sink down on his cock, moaning at the stretch of him inside you. ''Look at that baby, you fit so well, such a pretty cock for me to ride, for me to fuck,'' you moaned when you started rolling your hips. Yeosang moaned and threw his head back, overwhelmed with the pleasure of being inside your wet cunt. Even with the condom on he felt like he got swallowed in by your warmth, like electricity in his body. You fucked yourself on his cock, bouncing up and down just the way you liked it.

''How's that baby? How does that feel?'' you panted out. He just nodded eagerly as he whimpered, overwhelmed with pleasure. The sound of your skin slapping together was like music to your ears. ''You know what you can do baby?'' His eyes met yours when you took one of his hands and pressed his fingers on your exposed clit. You cleaned back slightly to give him a clearer view of your pussy.

''Rub here, circle it,'' you told him, and Yeosang quickly obeyed. He rubbed your clit in circles and switched from slow to fast from time to time as you kept moving up and down his cock. ''Oh that's it baby, so good for me, such a good boy!'' ''Fuck, Y/N, I t-think I'm coming again! I'm gonna come!'' ''Come for me, Sangie, rub my clit fast and we'll come together, hm? Harder baby, yes that's it, that's it! Fuck you're such a good boy, I'm coming with you baby, right there, right there!''

With only a single movement you felt an orgasm wash over you and you moaned out his name. Yeosang whimpered and twitched inside you as your pussy clenched down on him. He spilled his cum into the condom and panted out your name. ''Fuck,'' he cursed. He looked so beautiful, all fucked out you swore he did look like a Greek God.

''You've been so perfect, little scientist boy,'' you grinned as you got off his cock. ''Ah, don't call me that, aren't I a man now?'' he laughed cutely. You grinned and shook your head. ''No. Virginity doesn't determine your manliness baby, don't worry about that. You're all man.'' ''Well... This man really enjoyed it... Thank you for doing this for me.'' ''Well thank you for letting me and giving me a good time too. What about a second round of getting physical right away?'' ''Y/N. That's a horrible pun but I'll take it.''

[denimbex1986]

'On Tuesday, Cillian Murphy was at his parents’ home in Cork, Ireland, drinking a cup of tea when his phone started buzzing. A glance at the dozens of texts revealed the news: For the first time, Murphy had been nominated for the best actor Oscar, for his performance as the title character in “Oppenheimer.”

“It’s very, very humbling,” Murphy, 48, said in an interview by phone on Tuesday. “I’m kind of a little in shock.”

“It’s just a real honor to be involved in a film that has connected so powerfully with people in a way that we never expected,” he added.

In “Oppenheimer,” a stunning biopic by the director Christopher Nolan, Murphy plays the American theoretical physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer, a brilliant, enigmatic figure known as the father of the atomic bomb, a man consumed with ambition and haunted by his past. After opening alongside “Barbie” on July 21, “Oppenheimer” quickly became beloved by critics and fans alike, grossing just over $950 million at the worldwide box office.

Murphy had collaborated with Nolan before, taking supporting roles in movies like “Batman Begins” and “Inception,” but his latest work for the director became a breakthrough moment, with Murphy winning praise for the intensity and emotional complexity he brought to the role. At the Golden Globes, he won best actor in a drama; he also was up for a Critic’s Choice Award (losing out to his fellow Oscar nominee Paul Giamatti); and he’s in the running for a Screen Actors Guild Award, punctuating what has been an exceptionally busy awards season for Murphy.

“It’s been new enough for me, but I gotta say, I think I’m getting good at it,” he said, chuckling. He marveled about a recent ceremony where he was stuck in a line with Meryl Streep.

“That may never happen to me again in my life, and it’s just a wonderful feeling,” he said.

In a phone interview, Murphy also discussed what fascinated him about Oppenheimer the man, how he prepared for the role and the cast’s group chat. These are edited excerpts from the conversation.

Were you watching the Oscars announcement?

No, I was at home in Cork with my mom and dad and my wife. And my phone started popping, so I figured it was good news. Everybody started texting. You know, you can’t really avoid good news or bad news, but it’s better when it’s good news.

Oppenheimer is a different role than what you’ve done in the past. What drew you to this character?

Well, he is, in Chris’s words, the most important man that ever lived. He changed the course of the 20th century, and we are all living in Oppenheimer’s world. He was complex and contradictory and flawed and vain and arrogant, but he was still immensely charismatic and fascinating. It was a huge responsibility. But the sorts of roles I enjoy are the ones where you think, I have no idea how I’m going to play this.

What steps did you take to prepare?

Oh man, I had six months. From the moment Chris called me, I just started working — from the inside out and from the outside in. I did an awful lot of reading and research and watched every single archival footage about him. Then I immediately started conditioning my body because he was very interesting how he carried himself physically and how slight his frame was. But a lot of it was just walking around my basement in Dublin talking to myself and practicing, practicing and practicing.

As you did that research, was there anything surprising to you about Oppenheimer?

He was an absolute contradiction in so many ways. He could have been an artist or a writer or a poet. But he was also this freakishly bright human being. A lot of his contemporaries would say he was the brightest man in the room at all times. But he was also very temperamental and fragile emotionally and mentally, particularly in his youth. If you were writing a fictional character, it wouldn’t add up to a character people could identify with. But in fact, he was just like the rest of us. He was just a human being. So that’s what I really identified with — his humanity.

What was it like for you to work with such an all-star cast?

A total gift. Every single cast member was fearless in the film, like they had done so much research and could improvise on the spot about their character and the real-life events. I felt really held and carried by everybody on the movie. We’re still all really close. There was a really good bond on this film, and it remains very very strong.

Is it true there’s an “Oppenhomies” group chat?

That is true, yes. Olivia Thirlby came up with that moniker.

You and Nolan have a long history of working together. How did that impact your work with this film?

Oh, it’s crucial for me. I don’t think I could have made this film with anyone else, without that level of trust that goes back six movies and 20 years. He really, really pushed me and I wanted to be pushed. He expects excellence from you because that’s what he delivers himself every single day.

Is there something distinctive about a Nolan set or film that’s different from other projects you’ve been involved in?

I think it’s the level of focus. It’s quite remarkable. It’s laserlike, the way he uses time, because time, I’ve realized, is your most valuable commodity when you’re on a film set. So much of it gets wasted. When you come on a Chris Nolan set, you come on to work. There’s no phones, there’s no chatting. There’s no video footage, there’s no monitors. That’s not to say it’s not a pleasant environment. It’s a private, focused environment. That’s how you get the best out of people.

In terms of time, you didn’t have much of that at all right?

No, we filmed in 57 days, and three of them were a preshoot. So it was insane, the pace of it, but it never felt rushed. We never left a scene behind.

Some people have criticized the film for the inclusion of nude scenes. What do you make of that critique?

Well, I think those things are essential for the story. If you’re familiar with the story, it was his relationship with Jean Tatlock which was the thing that really made him lose his security clearance and ultimately kind of cost his career. I think it was vital to highlight the intimacy and closeness of their relationship.

Besides the Academy Awards ceremony, what else is in the future for you?

I have a film called “Small Things Like These,” which I produced and acted in and that’s opening at the Berlin Film Festival in February. I’m really proud of the movie. It’s produced by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. They paid for it and we produced it together. So I’m juggling that and attending all these events at the same time.'

[strawberryfemmesapphic]

Chapter Two of ‘A Coven Shrouded In Violets’

The last thing I remember was being shot from the tree I was perched in, watching over the coven we were supposed to attack. Then the sizzling pain of an arrow latched into my hip, causing me to fall from the tree and hit the ground which broke my leg. I don’t remember anything after that.

…

I woke up in a dimly lit room. The smell of spices and lavender filled my nose as I drifted into consciousness. A freckled face came into my peripheral vision, green eyes and ginger hair.

An angel? No…a witch.

I immediately grab for the dagger kept in my boot, only to realize that it’s not there. I then try to sit up but gasp as lava hot pain shoots up my leg and into my hip.

“You got shot” the freckled face says as she stands up and helps me sit so I can eat, “I had to save you…though I wouldn’t have cared if the wolves got you first” her voice has the faintest accent, common for witches.

“Well then why did you save me?”

“Because you were betrayed by your hunting party, and that is even more unforgivable” she says it so calmly as she give me a bowl of soup. That’s where the smell of spices came from.

I raise an eyebrow at her

“It’s not poisoned. If it was, you’d be dead as soon as you touched the bowl” her lips quirk up into the smallest smile.

“So….i owe you a life debt now. Since you saved mine,” I drawl out slowly, keeping my golden eyes on her. She spins around so fast that she drops a pot of dirt she was holding, “excuse me?”

“I can’t leave your side until I save your life in return” I clarify, eyes bore into hers.

“I’d rather be burned at the stake then work with a witch hunter” she snarls, reaching for a fire poker to prod at the flames.

“That can be arranged” A smirk crawls up my lips as she shoots me a look taken directly out of the nightmares of children.

This woman isn't like the witches we’d been told about during training; she doesn't have the sharp nails or the long noses…maybe we were just told stories to scare us. We began our training when we turned twelve.

“I hate humans, but I hate disloyalty more” the accented voice comes back, washing over me like a beautiful poison.

“Interesting code of morals for a witch. I thought you were all into cursing people and hiding in plain sight” I shot back, wanting to get a rise out of her.

The witch sighs “Fine. I have to go to the mountains as my coven’s delegate. The Council of Witches meets every three years to discuss…things,” her eyes flick to me for a second before continuing, “You will accompany me there”

…

Our journey starts out with utter silence. For three days the witch doesn't speak to me, which I can't blame her for since my hunting party was the one that almost kill her coven and now she's stuck with me.

Finally, we make camp in a secluded cave, shelter from the rain and any predators the witch tells me. She makes a fire by throwing dirt into the air, whispering something incoherent, and as soon as the dirt touches the ground, sparks appear at our feet. The sound of thunder surrounds us as she hands me a small flask of soup and medicine she brought “You’re no good to me weak or dead” is all she spits out. I try to make myself as small as possible, slowly drinking the soup and medicine.

“I’m Wren” the words escape my lips randomly. She looks over and studies me with her beautiful green eyes before rolling onto her side to sleep with her back to me.

…

A week passes before something happens that puts a chip in the witches walls and I make a breakthrough. It happens because a loud splash wakes me from sleep, causing me to shoot up from where I slept, gasping in pain once again at the still-healing wound in my leg and hip. Ignoring it, I stumble out and follow where the splash came from until I reach a lake…where a lake monster is wrestling with the witch. She is hopelessly loosing, whatever spells she tries are useless against the monster. It wraps it’s slimy arms around her and yanks her down under the water.

I wait for her to resurface, but nothing happens, so without thinking, I launch myself into the lake, stabbing at the monster with my knife and grab at the witch, hauling her to safety. Her red hair is soaked and stringy, I cant hear her breathing so I search for a pulse. Nothing. I do the next best thing, I press my hands to her chest like we were trained to do and roll her onto her side as water shoots out of her mouth. She gasps for air as water expells from her lungs. I hit her on the back a couple of times to help the water leave faster. She gives me an angry look as she stumbles to her feet and storms off, soaking wet but no less breathtaking.

Anger wells up inside of me as I walk after her, catching up and shoving her against a tree, my gold eyes bore into her blue ones. I’m taller than her by at least a head which makes me look smaller as I look down on her and plunge into my words “Look, I know this isnt an ideal situation. You dont like me and I dont like you, but we have to at least be civil if we want to survive. You cant swim and I cant walk properly. We need each other if you’re going to get to that mountain” my fingernails dig into her arms as I press her against the tree, wanting my anger to sink into her bones.

“Astrid” her voice is quiet and she refuuses to look at me.

“What?”

“My name is Astrid”

She repeats her name as we sit around a fire she made, the spoon in the small pot of soup we share.

“I’m not a full witch. I can only heal. That’s why I don’t actually live with my coven. When your hunting party came to the woods near us, they were looking for me because they knew I was the one who knew how to stop the poisons that other covens were spreading and they wanted me alive. When they shot you, the strings around their neck choked them and they died” this last bit throws me into a deep hole of confusion and anger. These people who I’d known since I was twelve had betrayed me for no reason and then got what they deserved, I looked down at my own string necklace that we all knew would kill me I betrayed my kin.

“Why did they die but I didnt?”

“You almost did” is all Astrid says.

“So you know how to stop the poisons the other covens are spreading. And that’s why you want to go to the council? Can you talk to them?” I ask, changing the subject, to which she snorts, “hell no. They have all the poisons hidden amongst members of the coven, I’m going to steal each one and make it so the poison can’t hurt anyone” her green eyes light up with nervous glee at telling someone this.

I nod slowly, listening intently as I wrap the injury that twists around her arm, obvious teeth marks from the lake monster embedded in her skin. Hopefully, this monster wasn't poisonous, is the only thing circling around in my thoughts. Astrid looks up from the fire at me,

“Thank you, for helping me earlier”

“Well you saved my life and now I saved yours” I shrug, “so does that mean my life debt is over?”

“Stay” Astrid whispers and as the fire fades, I think I see a smile and a flash of fangs.

[davyjoneslockr]

📡🎈 for the writing ask game!!

Super interested especially in the style one because it’s always fun to hear how people see their own writing!

(For this ask game)

📡: Why is writing and sharing your writing important for fandom?

I've been involved in fandom spaces for most of my life, and it's always been something I've been really passionate about, but a lot of that time was spent as sort of a passive lurker. I engaged with other people's content online and went to local cons every now and again, but I always wanted to actually create something myself and feel more involved with fandoms, I guess. I actually had a bit of a run with this in the Danganronpa fandom (I was a voice actor in an unfortunately never released and now defunct Fangan podcast), and that got me thinking about what I could do to engage with fandom more. I've always written fanfic, but it took until a short time after I left the DR fandom and got stuck in JoJo Hell, which was my first year of college, to work up the courage to actually post it.

All this to say, writing and sharing fics makes me feel like an active part of a community. I've made a lot of friends through it, had opportunities to work on some incredible fan projects, and, honestly, the past four years in the JJBA fandom have been the most fun I've had in any fandom. Plus, I think of it as sort of paying homage to this series that I love so dearly. Idk. My work probably isn't all that important to fandom as a whole, but I'm definitely having a good time participating :]

🎈 Describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? Does it change?

That's a hard one, actually. It definitely changes depending on the mood I'm going for, and it's obviously changed over the years (it's actually funny reading back older fics sometimes, because I can tell when certain writing workshops or creative breakthroughs in my academic life bled over into my hobby writing). I'd say my writing is heavily character-driven; while that comes with the medium in fanfiction, my original fiction and creative nonfiction tend to be like that, too. What details I focus on while narrating a scene, and which ones I overlook, should say something about the POV character. Stylistically, I love playing with sentence length. Sentence fragments and run-on sentences are my best friends, and I love you polysyndeton <3 (I notice I used to be really into asyndeton, too, but not so much anymore). The character-driven-ness carries over into the style, too; I tend to get a bit more purple prose-y with Giorno than I do Mista, for example. And I use almost exclusively present tense in my writing now, because I want everything to feel more immediate and immersive - more like watching a scene unfold in real time than recalling a memory, if that makes sense. I actually wanted to be a screenwriter at one point in my life; I guess I could describe my style with regard to that, in a way? Trying to write a film onto a page? Something like that.

[ackerfics]

hi, rory! <3 what majors would the sc veterans take if they were in the modern world?

hi, anon !! thank you so much for this ask, this is heaven in disguise from all my schoolwork. tbh, the whole time i was working for a lab report, my mind will go back to this ask bc i wanted to have the association as accurate as possible hhhajshw

i asked one of my friends for help and thank God for them bc my single brain cell really said 'it's time for you to rest' after staring at one backlog. without further ado, here are the veterans' majors if they're studying in university:

first off, hange zoe, because if you ask me this question in real life, they would be the only one i can answer. every damn time i would think of them in a college setting, being a biology major is really hange's forte. at this point, this is what everyone would associate them with.

hange is all about experimenting and doing brilliant breakthroughs in any field of science but knowing that they have this unparalleled fascination with the unusual and unexpected life-forms (ahem titans ahem), the biology lab would be the surest place where you could find hange. i feel like biology is too broad so i will add that microbiology or bacteriology are just some of the specializations they will be taking in their time in college.

imagine, being lab partners with hange and immediately knowing that you will have one of the highest grades in the class because they're that well-versed in a specific lab report. and if you're partners with them for the rest of the academic year, you might as well have a shot at an immaculate grade. i'm not saying that you should depend on them too much though hHHHH, hange is still a member of the majority of the student body who relies heavily on caffeine to keep them invigorated. who isn't at this point?

so far, some of the biology majors that i encountered (well, more like chatted behind a screen — online classes suck), they have this energy that could drain my social battery too quickly and hange fits that description. (note that this doesn't apply to any college bc i observed this in mine soooo 🤭) they're the type to always go on a tangent on a certain science article or coerce you into joining this org thing. i can imagine levi just looking at hange like they're the one sucking his brain cells out whenever they speak about a documentary in bbc they watched the night before.

and if you're stuck on anything biology-related, hange will be the best person to ask help from. they're the first ray of sunlight you get while waking up. they're that approachable.

okay, so erwin smith.

don't come at me but he just radiates this ceo vibes and with that, one of his probably majors is business administration. i know this is so stereotypical of me but let's face it, erwin is a smooth talker through and through and if he doesn't take up marketing, business is one way to spend his college years. knowing his personality in attack on titan of establishing deals easily with a determined resolve, he fits the broadest description of being a business administration major. (again, don't come at me because my consultant for this statement is google and nobody comes after google sometimes hhhhh)

just for the benefit of myself, i will add what google says about this major, "[they] learn the mechanics of business through classes in fundamentals, such as finance, accounting and marketing ... students find ways to solve problems using data and they develop communication and managerial skills." and i thank you.

he's also probably the most well-spoken and most professional when conversing with others among his friends (and i'm not saying this to drag the other characters but this is what i pick up on) and that is exactly the qualities his major specializes. it is expected for them to strike deals and be a people person and who better character for the job than our very own erwin smith 🤩

now i mentioned 'one of the probable majors' and yes, aside from business administration, philosophy just exudes erwin smith. ngl, when i imagined erwin in a college setting, this major will always come first. his mind is just so sexy to me??? and i hope you guys think the same, too, because i don't want to be the only one who thinks that 👀 kidding aside, erwin is one of the smartest people in attack on titan and every time he speaks in one episode, my brain will instantly go mush, and that's what i feel when i hear philosophy majors talk.

philosophy majors (according to any other youtuber who does lookbooks for various majors hhhhhh) challenge what is unanswerable and analyze questions with no right answer. i feel like erwin, like hange, will talk all night to explain a theory. just imagine a date with him and you just listen to him rant about a topic that they should be making a report on. just listen to this man, okay?? it's adorable when he lets his guard down to include you in his little bubble of philosophies. he would also mention random things that he learned in classes, sometimes finding joy in knowing the philosophies of other people, or even deciphering levi's dream of an apocalyptic world. (it pisses levi off but he just leave him be.)

if you want a man who can do both of these majors, erwin smith is the answer 😉

sigh, mike zacharias.

this man holds so many talents and will forever amaze me.

i assume all of us here watched the movie perfume. and no, i'm not saying that mike is going to be a murderer but just like the main character of that film, making perfumes will be his forte with that sense of smell of his. and here, i conclude that mike will definitely take up chemical engineering.

he gives me the vibes that if it covers the one thing he does best, he will love his major. (mr. zacharias, can you please spare me that quality because i really need that now 😩) being in the labs while experimenting mundane things that can be found in the environment to create different scents is also a likely situation you can find him in, again, very much like hange. he's the type of student who really puts so much effort in staying afloat the honors list, even to the point of topping midterms in his major, for the sake of his dream. there will never be a moment where you will catch him complain about his major and professors.

he's that type of friend in college who agrees to any rant you say but in reality, he's got his life easy 😭

i headcanon mike owning a perfume shop after college just like how levi always dreamed of having a tea shop.

okay, imagine this little scenario if you're dating mike where he creates this unique perfumes as random gifts for you. they're not the typical perfumes that can seep through the room and can make you gag for no reason, they're subtle scents that will stay for the duration of the day. because again, he's got a sensitive nose, so making perfumes according to what his sense of smell dictates will always result in a revolutionary experiment. if you're randomly blurting out that you want a fusion of flowers and fruits as your perfume, say no more, he's your man.

now, the veteran who i find the hardest to associate a major with — levi ackerman.

after much deliberation and a break from plant physiology, i see him taking up law or criminology.

(i asked some of this from my mom because she attended law school :>>>)

levi is so organized and detailed in the things that he do and he fits in either of these majors since they require tedious memorizations and analysis of laws and crime scenes while being assertive enough to defend someone. he's the typical person who blurts out the true situation of a crime scene when watching film adaptations. yeah, he's that person, the one who sucks the enthusiasm out of you while watching a movie because he just had to correct some of the scenes. nevertheless, he means well though, he just wanted you to understand the reality unlike how films portray gruesome murders. movie nights always end up with levi ranting about half-assed mystery clichés.

levi's binder of readings are always too bright for everyone's good. his notes are full of highlighters and scribbles that it can blind someone. for one, he's always up all night studying his readings and cases for a practice court so by choosing neon highlighters, it's a way for him to wake up. there isn't one book in his possession that he doesn't highlight like it's a fricking coloring book. hange once jokingly said that his binder now acts like his bible and for once, he agrees because he was never seen without one. hange had a field day since levi never agrees with them.

when doing practice courts though, his go-to resting bitch face always come in handy when carrying out his role as one of the lawyers. he's just so sexy with his hands in the pockets of his slacks as he tries to justify his supposed client. the way he questions the accused definitely isn't hot because he's like one of the panelists in your thesis defense, the one who just comes up with questions that have you melting on the spot. he's dangerous i tell you. it also doesn't help if you accidentally hurt one of his friends or just landed randomly in his blacklist for being annoying as hell. relax though, he doesn't mean harm other than the fact that he's ready to throw some hands from all the pent-up rage he gathered in his body.

of course, i couldn't forget how he dresses up like a typical dark academia fanatic so look out for eye-candy.

if you want someone who can recite articles from the constitution, this man is perfect for you 😌

i had so much fun doing this !! again, i'm not generalizing every major i've talked about in these little headcanons, this is all for fun and based on the people i encountered in college. if you want more of this, don't hesitate to ask !! 😚

[chudleycanonficfest]

The Soul Truth

Day 2, Story #1 is by @honouraryweasley12

Title: The Soul Truth

Author: honouraryweasley12

Pairing: Ron x Hermione

Prompt: Soulmates

Rating: K+

TW: none

The ornate doors slid open and Hermione stepped out of the lift, her shoes clacking on the stone floor as she walked forward, head held high but movements stiff. She quickly found that it was best to give off a strong, confident air as she met with various ministries in her new capacity. 

She hadn't been in this part of the Ministry often and it was quite unfamiliar to her. All the more reason to keep her guard up.

"Greetings, Minister Granger-Weasley. Congratulations on your victory."

A wizened old man in heavy, dark robes welcomed her, limping forward and holding out a shaky gnarled hand. She took it and met his eyes, which were still sharp—despite his advanced age. A playful twinkle shone out from them, reminding her immediately of Dumbledore.

"Thank you."

He gave her a smile. "Welcome to Archive floor of the Department of Mysteries."

She looked around the cavernous space, taking everything in. She could practically feel the hum of ancient magic reverberating around the walls.

"And you are?"

"I am the Archivist."

"Oh, I meant your name."

He chuckled. "We don't use our given names in this department, just our titles. There is great power in names, as you no doubt know, and we don't want that to interfere with the work we are doing here."

"What should I call you?"

He thought for a moment, before looking up at her. "For today, you can call me… Dave."

She immediately relaxed and shook her head, her face incredulous. "Why Dave?"

"Ah, you see, the power of names. By picking something so simple and informal, your posture and tone changed completely. Had I picked something more formal, you would have responded in kind."

She smiled, immediately taking a liking to the mysterious old man. "Lead the way, Dave. I was told I would be receiving the grand tour."

The two walked slowly through the vast archives, the various rooms and chambers full of different experiments, mystical objects, and parchments.

"Where is everyone?" Hermione stopped to ask, noticing that they hadn't seen a single person, Unspeakable or otherwise, as she was shown around.

"Some of our greatest breakthroughs happen in the early morning or late evening. We encourage our members to work when it best suits them." He squinted at a battered gold watch that seemed to weigh heavily on his wrist. "Yes, 3:00 PM is usually the quietest time of the day down here."

"I see. I do some of my best work at odd times as well."

He nodded sagely. "The quiet mind is often the clearest."

They continued touring through, until they came to a small door tucked behind several suits of armour. It was so old and dark that Hermione wouldn't have even noticed it, had Dave not mentioned it.

"Most Ministers of Magic I've worked with seem to be worried about other objects down here that might help them, but I have something interesting which I think you'll appreciate."

He fished out a small key from within the folds in his robes and turned it in the lock. The heavy door creaked open to reveal a closet-sized space with a single pedestal. On top of it sat a thin, aged book.

"It's my understanding that you are an avid reader, Minister."

"Yes, how did you know?"

"It's my job to know," he added gravely, watching her eyes narrow. He waved his hand dismissively, grinning again. "No, no, I'm only joking. I happened to share a lift with Auror Weasley one Monday morning, and while I didn't mean to eavesdrop, he was complaining quite loudly to Auror Potter that he missed you, because you had your nose stuck in a book all weekend. I mean no offense, of course."

She blushed and rolled her eyes affectionately. "That sounds like Ron alright."

"That's why I thought this might be of interest to you," he continued, gesturing to the pedestal.

She couldn't help but be intrigued as she stared down at the frail old book, her voice dipping down to a whisper of reverence. "What is it?"

"It's called The Book of Souls—though it's just a single parchment. Yet, it's the most dangerous object down here."

Hermione stared at it, her face a mask of awe. "How so?"

"Legend has it that the parchment was created by a powerful young witch, who was being courted by a prince. She wasn't sure if he was her soulmate, for she sensed a darkness in him, so she invoked some very ancient magic to help reveal the truth."

"It worked?"

"Indeed, it did. The parchment was charmed to reveal a small note, riddle, and sometimes even a name to the reader, one that would help them understand who their soulmate was. Unfortunately for that witch, her soulmate was most decidedly not the prince. She rejected his proposal, and as was the case back then, disappeared under mysterious circumstances soon after."

"That's terrible. Then what happened?"

"As the story goes, rumour spread about the witch's parchment, and as with most powerful objects, the lure of it drew out many seekers. Though the object was made with good intentions, it soon led to a trail of darkness and bloodshed. Broken families, obsessions, blackmail, jealousy, and even death. Knowing that kind of unshakeable truth proved to be a valuable commodity, or a lifetime of heartbreak for those unable to meet their soulmate."

Hermione nodded. It sounded very much like the Elder Wand, but more subtle and insidious. One thing was puzzling her though. "I've never heard of this before, and I've studied many books about souls, both ancient and dark."

"Once the Ministry recovered it, they deemed it was too dangerous for this information to be out there, so they've removed all known references to it. Those who had known of it died off, and it was forgotten from memory."

"When was this?"

"Centuries ago. However, as Minister, you are privileged to learn certain pieces of information that the general population is not privy to."

"Fascinating," Hermione replied. She watched as he slowly reached a hand toward the weathered book. "Wait! What are you doing?"

"Every so often I check to make sure it's still under the cover, and since we're already in here, I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all. Does… does that mean you've looked at it?"

"Oh no, never. I always look away, as should you."

He lifted the corner for a second, and try as she might, Hermione couldn't help but open her eyes to see a word of blazing red ink, before he shut the cover again. Hermione felt the blood drain from her face, unable to comprehend the word she saw so very briefly.

"No, it couldn't be."

"What was that Minister? Did you say something?"

Hermione shook her head.

"Everything seems to be in order here. Shall we continue?"

Hermione nodded mutely, the word still burned in her thoughts.

~*~

She cancelled the rest of her meetings and went straight home after finishing with Dave, or whatever his real name was, needing time to collect her thoughts. How could she tell Ron, the love of her life, what she had seen?

She sat at their dining table, absentmindedly stirring a soothing cup of tea when he walked in.

"Hermione, I'm home."

He came bounding into the kitchen, a piece of parchment in each hand and a wide smile on his face. "Look, the kids wrote. Hugo promises he's already started studying for O.W.L.s, and Rosie is nervous, but excited, to captain her first match against Ravenclaw next week."

"That's great," she replied, her voice a dull monotone.

"They even said their classmates think it's cool that you were elected as the youngest Minister of Magic in history."

"Hmm."

Ron looked at her and frowned. "What's wrong? Tough day?"

Hermione pulled out the chair next to her and patted it. "Come sit down."

Ron scrutinized her again. "The last time you did that, it was to tell me you were pregnant with Hugo. Are you pregnant?"

She sighed. "No, please just come here, I need to tell you something, and I don't think you're going to like it."

He sat down, unsure of what was coming. She quickly told him about the Archivist, the tour, and the Book of Souls, before swearing him to secrecy.

"You saw something when he lifted the cover, didn't you?"

She nodded sadly. "I saw a word."

"What did it say?"

"I-I don't want to tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not true. Whatever it says, it's not true."

"C'mon Hermione, please tell me."

"It said… Krum."

Ron let out a laugh. "Oh, is that all?"

"What do you mean? Viktor Krum is my soulmate, and that's all you have to say!?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"That you're upset, that you care that I was destined to be with Viktor."

"Destined? We have two beautiful kids, an amazing family, and great careers. I don't care what some ruddy old book says, the charms are probably wonky anyway." He pointed to his chest. "I know that I love you with all of my heart, and you feel the same."

She slid into his lap and threw her arms around his neck. "I do, you know I do… but…but…"

"What?"

She suddenly burst into tears, burying her head in his neck as she sobbed. "I-I always had this idea in my head that we were real soulmates, if such a thing existed. We met when we were so young, and I've only truly ever loved you. I know it's silly, but I hate that it's not true. I didn't even like Viktor that much."

Ron ran his fingers through her hair and rubbed her back comfortingly. "Maybe it was a mistake or something. You said yourself you only saw one word."

Her breathing started calming down. "I-I suppose that's true."

"We know what happens when a charm or prophecy is misinterpreted."

She sniffled. "It would be nice to know."

Ron gave her a squeeze. "Maybe we should sneak in there tomorrow and take a look."

"We can't just sneak in there! I'm the Minister of Magic! Besides, there was a key to get into the room. I don't know how we're going to get it from the Archivist."

"You're the Minister of Magic. I'm sure you could come up with some reason to be there."

She gave him a dirty look. "I'm not abusing my position like that."

"I don't mind abusing my position, as you put it. Maybe I can say I'm researching something for a case."

"No, Ron. What if you get in trouble?"

"Who am I going to get in trouble with? Harry? You?"

"That's not the point. We swore we'd never take advantage of our roles for our own gain."

He sighed. "Fine, you're right. Sneaking in it is, then. It'll be like the good old days! A secret mission, breaking into places we have no business being in. An ill-formed plan. It'll be fun."

She smacked him on the arm. "Those days were terrible."

"Aren't you curious though, to find out the truth?"

"Of course I want to know the truth! I don't want to go through the rest of my life thinking Viktor was my soulmate, when it's clearly you."

"As sweet as that is, we clearly only have one choice."

Hermione shook her head. "Fine."

"Good, things like this are much easier when you're agreeable to them," he smirked, nudging her playfully. "You said 3:00 PM was when it was empty, right? Meet me in my office tomorrow at 2:55 PM, and we'll head down there. I'll just tell Harry we're going to a broom closet or something."

"Ron!" Hermione screeched. "You'll do no such thing."

"It's perfectly plausible. It's not like we haven't done that before."

She blushed, unable to count the number of times they'd had fun at the Ministry. "Alright, fine. 2:55PM at your office."

"Good. Now, I'm starving. I'll whip up one of your favourites. I bet I'm a better cook than ol' Vicky. What do Bulgarians even eat?"

"Not funny, Ron."

~*~

The next afternoon, Hermione was found pacing in front of Ron and Harry's office, much to the fear of the recruits who were stationed outside the door. It wasn't often the Minister of Magic would show up unannounced, muttering under their breath.

The door swung open and Ron sauntered out, his lips upturned in a smug smile. Harry's face had gone a shade of green from what he'd just heard from his best mate.

"Hi, er, Hermione," Harry greeted her awkwardly. "You two… um… have fun."

Mortified, Hermione could only return a quick wave before grabbing Ron's arm, hauling him toward the lifts before she was forced into any further interactions with Harry.

"I honestly can't believe you told him we were going to go shag."

"I literally told you I was going to say that."

"I didn't think you actually meant it." She let out an exasperated snort and pinched the bridge of her nose as they entered the lift. "What's the plan?"

"Plan?"

"You are the Head Strategist of the Auror department. Surely you must have thought of something!"

Ron shrugged his shoulders and grinned. "We'll make it up as we go. Seems to work best for us."

"I don't like this one bit."

The ding of the bell signalled they had arrived.

Ron clasped her hand, their fingers entwining. "Let's do this."

The doors opened and they were greeted with utter silence. It was as if the entire floor was abandoned, which it likely was.

They crept forward, trying to make as little noise as possible before finally reaching the same spot she had been the previous day.

Hermione turned the handle of the door, and to her surprise, it was unlocked.

"Hey, look at that!" Ron exclaimed loudly.

"Ron," she hissed. "Keep on the lookout."

He nodded and stood in front of the armour blocking the door, ensuring that Hermione couldn't be seen, in case they were interrupted.

Hermione took a deep breath, her heart pounding. Whatever it said under the cover wouldn't change anything between herself and Ron, but she needed to know for sure.

Her fingers paused for a second, lightly gripping the frail corner, her body tense. She delicately opened the book, the bright red ink bursting into view, almost glowing in the small, dark chamber.

Her greedy eyes flew over the words that were revealed.

"I knew it," she whispered.

Ron suddenly poked his head in. "Everything alright?"

"Perfect. Everything's perfect and wonderful!" Her giddiness couldn't be contained as she closed the ancient text.

"I guess this means you aren't going to chuck me?"

"Never."

"What's it say?"

Her pink cheeks were starting to hurt from her wide grin. "Your soulmate will first love, then hate, a Mr. Viktor Krum."

"That confirms it. See, nothing to worry about."

"Oh Ron, I'm so relieved. I knew it couldn't be true. This whole thing is ridiculous, but I'm still glad to know it's always been you."

Ron nodded. "Me too."

"We should leave before we get caught."

"Not so fast, it's my turn now."

"What?" Hermione asked sharply. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "Might as well take a look while I'm here."

Hermione stepped back, biting at her bottom lip—a sure sign of anxiety. "But… but… what if—"

Ron cupped her cheeks in his large hands and gently kissed her. "It doesn't matter what it says, I love you and only you. Trust me."

She nodded, before resuming his place as the lookout.

After a moment, she heard him chuckle and close the door behind him.

Hermione whispered urgently. "What did it say?"

"It said my soulmate will be a nightmare."

Hermione let out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. "Thank goodness. I don't think I would've been able to handle it if it wasn't me."

"It's always been you. I thought you'd have learned by now."

"I know, I never should have doubted it."

"Can you imagine if we'd learned this information when we were younger? We might have been able to get together much sooner," Ron remarked.

"Or we'd have made an even bigger mess of things."

"True. It doesn't matter in the end though, does it? We figured it out and we've done pretty damn well for ourselves."

"We have, Ron. I love you."

"Love you, too. We'd better get out of here before someone sees us."

The two quickly retreated to the lift, having successfully completed their mission. A minute after the doors had shut on the snogging couple, an old man slowly made his way toward the chamber and pulled a small key out of his robes, locking the heavy door.

As it's appointed guardian, he had vowed to never look in the book, and he had kept that oath. That didn't mean he couldn't use it's power in other ways. Past Ministers, those inquisitive few who had the intelligence to understand the book's worth, often revealed something in that moment when he checked the parchment, for good or ill. Usually it mattered little to him, but not in this case.

He paused for a moment, before extracting a small glass sphere from the same pocket as the key. A sphere he'd kept with him for many years, since he was a young man working with prophecies in the Department of Mysteries. Knowing Minister Granger-Weasley was coming to take a tour was the perfect opportunity to solve a mystery he'd been researching for the better part of seven decades.

He held it up to the light, the familiar swirls of mist dancing in the globe. He had long since memorized the prophecy, which had been made by a seer almost a hundred years earlier. His colleagues at the time had dismissed it, because like many visions, it was almost impossible to determine what the seer was referring to.

He had kept this one, for it always gave him hope. He never thought he'd actually solve it. Yet here he was, still alive and able to record this last surviving prophecy in the annals of history.

He turned it over in his hands, the glass still unblemished.

"Magic," he whispered, "such a wonderful tool."

He stared at it again, reciting for the last time the fates encompassed within.

"Two soulmates, brown and orange, will form a triangle with black to defeat evil. Through many trials the two will forge a love so strong it will be unbreakable, and their strength will reshape the world."

He let out a final chuckle, his long-held desire now confirmed by the soulmates themselves. He lifted the glass to his lips, his breath fogging up the shiny surface.

"Prophecy fulfilled."

The sphere melted away into nothing, the outcome recorded somewhere else in the archives. He shuffled away back to his office, his eyes sparkling, and his heart lifted with hope.

[hxneydreamers]

Hello, could u share your journey in the law of assumption and how u started and what progress you've made till now, what you had trouble with at first and how you resolved them, and finally what concepts made everything click for you and made manifestinf super easy like being on a roll for you? And thank you for starting this cool blog 😊

Hey! I'd love to!

I'll first point out that I am still learning and whilst I am here to help people manifest, I am learning alongside you! I want you to know that I am very well educated on the law of assumption, and I am also currently manifesting an SP. I have manifested lots of things in the past (like traveling, meeting a celebrity crush, as well as multiple specific people including my current SP), but I never really pushed through because I never properly tried. I was always on and off my game for a number of reasons, so I would receive my manifestations, but not in full, and this was all because of my self-doubt and self-concept.

I first discovered manifesting with the Law Of Attraction a few years ago after watching the documentary 'The Secret'. I had NEVER EVEN HEARD about manifesting before, and I felt like it was a bit far fetched.

For a very long time, I was extremely non-religious, I didn't believe in God or magic, the afterlife, spirits, fate, NOTHING! I was the biggest non-believer out there. When I watched 'The Secret' I tried to simply change my attitude to be positive as much as I could so I would only attract positive things in my life, and I noticed it worked for a little while, but it wasn't anything significant. I pretty much forgot all about manifesting very quickly, because I never took it seriously.

The next year one of my friends was obsessed with the law of attraction and twin flames and all that spiritual stuff, and she was trying to convert me a bit. I was intrigued by the concept, but I didn't really believe in any of it at all. I just liked making vision boards with her for fun. I never took any of it seriously.

My friend made me go to a psychic with her for fun one day and I resisted and said no, but I eventually gave in because I got curious. Seeing this psychic was extremely earthshaking. I won't go into detail about my experience with her, but some things happened that pretty much changed my view of life and way of thinking. I was much more open to the possibility of things like manifesting.

A year ago, 2 people close to me sadly passed away. I felt very lost and I spent many nights awake and I stumbled across 'Sammy Ingram' on youtube and discovered the Law Of Assumption. I began to binge watch her videos and I did sooooooo much research about the law. I was immediately obsessed.

I started manifesting text messages and instant replies and dates so easily because I was so excited about it and felt no doubt that it would work.

I had success manifesting an internship, consistent shifts at work/consistent money flow and other money manifestations, I manifested dating a specific person (but I ended it for natural reasons), I manifested another specific person literally within a night, just to see if I could do it, and I manifested my current specific person as well (we have a past).

After these successes, I ended up having to deal with some personal issues with my grief for a while, as well as finish my studies, AND my internship, which took my mind off manifesting, and as a result, I manifested negative circumstances in many areas of my life, because I let myself spiral.

I won't tell you the old story too much, because I don't want to revisit it, but basically, for years I had been stuck in a cycle of being abandoned. I felt unlovable and my self-esteem was quite low. All of these beliefs were reflected in many ways, and I was constantly worrying about everything. My internship became toxic and I wanted to leave, my relationship also ended temporarily, and my self-concept was very very very bad!

I felt like I was obsessing over everything in my life going wrong and I wanted to manifest my SP because I thought that he would fix everything, but by putting him on the pedestal I was stalling.

As soon as all this happened, I was of course upset, HOWEVER, I had suffered so much loss at that point that I was determined to make sure that I turned my life around. So I decided to manifest ending my internship naturally, rather than me leaving or being dismissed.

I started visualizing a conversation with my superior where they told me that something came up and we would have to pause the internship.

Literally, two weeks later, he met up with me and told me this exactly, and he said that the decision was ultimately up to me if I wanted to continue later or not. So I said that the timing would not work with my studies, and I successfully manifested leaving the internship naturally.

Next, my SP.

- I literally went to sleep every single night repeating my affirmations.

- I affirmed every single day, I affirmed through tears and I affirmed with my friends. EVERY CHANCE I GOT!

- I started affirming from a place of peace, indifference, faith, and trust that it would work out

A week later we were back together again.

My struggles with the law were mostly that:

- I KEPT CHANGING MY AFFIRMATIONS

- I was on and off my mental diet

- I kept looking for confirmation in the 3D

- I kept repeating the old story

- I focused too much on my SP and not enough on me

About 2 months ago, I had a breakthrough where I decided I needed to completely change everything in my life to put myself in control.

- I started listening to music that made me feel extremely happy and would watch movies and shows that put me in a great mood

- I decided to pick my affirmations and stick with them NO MATTER WHAT!

- I started having a better mental diet, and I noticed results immediately

- I started being able to say 'I don't care what I see, I'm getting my manifestation, and genuinely feeling relaxed and peaceful about it

Once I shifted the focus onto myself and even took some space from my SP, I felt amazing 24/7 and my mental diet was practically perfect.

He has started implying that we are a couple, I don't feel needy, and don't even text him much anymore, he is the one chasing me and constantly blowing up my phone. He is constantly asking to see me, begging me even. He initiates ALL CONTACT NOW! Finally, the whole tone of our relationship has changed and our interactions have been extremely amazing! I have never felt so confident in myself and I can see it reflected in how he treats me.

I manifested him in steps to build our relationship to this point, and I didn't want to begin manifesting commitment until I felt my self-concept was perfect, as I want a healthy relationship with him. Now I am finally beginning to manifest the final stage: official commitment, and I am certain that I will get it!

My biggest tip based on my own experience is to:

- Persist in the same affirmations.

- Do not affirm from a place of desperation and lack

- Keep yourself busy and prioritize yourself and your life, they must reflect this and prioritize you as well

- Trust that it is done and don't check the 3D for confirmation

- If you started having negative thoughts, PERSIST! Do not be discouraged!

- If you know that you have been doing everything right, but suddenly everything feels wrong and your negative thoughts are coming out all at once and/or the 3D looks like shit, you could be in a transition period. THIS JUST MEANS THAT YOU ARE FINALLY GETTING RID OF THE OLD BELIEFS AND YOUR MANIFESTATION IS REALLY CLOSE! SO PERSIST THROUGH THIS!

So for whoever is reading this, please remember that I am here to help you, AND I am on this journey with you! We are all human and none of us is perfect!

I'll share updates on future manifestations in the future, but this is my story so far and my current manifestation in progress!

I will probably make a post in the future about past manifestations such as celebrity crush and travel etc.

[dreamersdreamloud]

There Is No Such Thing As Hope

Sad Villain Lena x Villain Reader 

Warnings: Sad dark thoughts 

Another storm has come pouring down on National City. It’s been three days since it started and the city was starting to look like Gotham. It didn’t matter to you though. You hardly go out since you’re always stuck in the lab. You’re one of the greatest scientists working for L-Corp. . . For Lena Luthor. 

Whenever your boss assigns you a difficult task, you always dominate it with pride. You never brag about it though. Never really expose yourself for being talented. You are making these devices that help humans and aliens. For Lena, she admires the way you work under pressure. You always seem to impress her with everything you accomplish or how much you contribute during weekly meetings with her and all the heads of each department. 

Little did you know that Lena has developed a small crush for you besides having one for her best friend, Kara. After working in L-Corp for about 4 years now, you seem to have a crush on your boss. You always thought it was wrong to develop a silly crush on your boss plus you know that Lena would never view you that. One day You almost gave in to your temptation. The day where your boss gave you flirty looks and warm smiles when you presented your completed project to the board. 

You planned to ask Lena out after that board meeting but stopped when a certain blonde reporter took her away from you. Kara Danvers, the ace puppy reporter, always visiting L-Corp to hang out with Lena. You would see a glimmer of happiness within Lena’s eyes whenever Kara visits. You simply walked away and boxed up your feelings for the CEO. 

9:35 PM 

You know for a fact that you have been overworking yourself in the lab. You look at the ruined device in front of you, frustrated at how you can’t fix it. “Why does Lena need a teleporter and does it have to fit into a watch?” You said to yourself. Although you don’t know the exact reading why, you still made a deal to get the job done. 

For two days now, Lena hasn’t come down to the labs to do her round checks. She would usually do it during the afternoon but if she’s busy, she’ll come around during the night, knowing you’ll still be in the lab. She’ll directly ask you how everyone is doing. 

You sighed and threw one of the tools across the table. Since it was getting late and you weren’t getting close to a breakthrough, you pack up your belongings. You gather all the completed charts and data and make your way to your boss’ floor. 

Once you reached the CEO’s floor, you made a mental plan to just leave it on her assistant’s desk and leave for the night. After placing the files on the desk, you head straight back to the elevator but a low frequency of someone crying can be heard across the empty floor. You stood there for a few seconds and listened carefully to find where the sound was coming from. 

You carefully walked towards the sound and realized it was coming from Lena’s office. The door was slightly cracked open. You peak inside and see that the raven haired is sitting on the floor, crying and nursing a bottle of scotch. You come up with two scenarios if you should leave the woman be or go inside and help her. 

You chose to help. You quietly walk inside and carefully approach the sadden woman without scaring her. 

“Miss Luthor? Are you alright?” You calmly call out. 

She immediately looked up and tried to wipe all her tears away with her sleeves. It was no use. You can easily see her red eyes and nose that she’s been crying for a while. Your boss tempts to stand up and look normal but she felt dizzy with the sudden rush. You hurried your way to her and helped her to sit on the white couch. 

You walked over to the small table of drinks and grabbed a glass of water for her. The CEO thankfully takes the glass from your hand and took in sips to wash the bitter liquid in her mouth. 

“How many times do I have to remind you to call me Lena?” Your boss tells you with a bitter smile on her face. 

You shrug your shoulders and suck in your lips. You say done next to her, “what’s wrong, Lena?” 

“Have you ever felt betrayed? Lied to? For years? Thinking they’re protecting you but really it was just hurting you? They thought that hiding the truth was more important than revealing it.” 

“Yes.” You said without hesitation. 

Lena looks at you, not believing your answer. 

You continued, “I’ve been lied to multiple times. My own parents were never supportive of me. They controlled half of my life with lies and belittled me. My former friends betrayed me. Ha. Even my past lovers cheated, lied, and betrayed me. So yes. I do know how you feel.” 

You tried your best to not let it show how much it affected you. You shouldn’t care anymore since you’re in a better position now. Lena saw the hurt in your eyes, the same pained eyes just like when her own family abuses her. 

“My own friends lied to me. For 4 years. Lied to me who they really are. They said they were just protecting me but they made me feel stupid. Alex, James, Kelly, J’onn. Gosh even Winn! My brother, Lex. He told me who Supergirl is. The woman who I thought would never lie to me. Who would always be there for me. That same person who said that my last name doesn’t correspond to who I am. I’m such a fool.” 

You lean in closer to her, to hold her because she was starting to form tears again. You don’t like seeing her be this vulnerable and weak. This isn’t the confident woman you see everyday. She’s a damn Luthor. She has to be the strongest and smartest woman on Earth. She doesn’t deserve this pain. 

“Lena. . . Who’s Supergirl?” 

She lets out a sour laugh and looks at you deeply into your eyes, “Kara Danvers is Supergirl.” 

In your mind, you can’t believe that the human golden retriever is Supergirl. The woman looking like sunshine and kisses is the woman of steel. It makes sense, her friends are not normal as well. They all must work for the government. You can’t believe that her friends played her like a fool. They trusted her but not enough to let her know everything. Lena must be feeling all alone and broken. 

You held up her chin, to force her to make eye contact with you, “Lena. . .” 

“Yes?” She whispers, trying hard to not get lost into your eyes or focus on your lips. She honestly wants to feel anything but betrayal and she was considering to have sad angry sex with you. She doesn’t give a damn that you’re her employee. 

“How do you feel about taking down the symbol of hope from Supergirl? To take control of this world. Free people from betrayal and get rid of injustice within the communities. I can see your leadership striving in this world. I can help you. We can make robots that connect to your A.I  to gain control and set up a non-biased  authority. A better world. A much cleaner and clearer future for generations to come?” 

Lena stares back at you with her red puffy eyes. The room is quiet but you can hear her mind working and the cars moving from down below. Lena doesn’t need to sleep on the idea or have second thoughts. There’s no doubt. Lena knows she’s a genius and she visualizes this plan working out. You may look like a villain to some but she wants to help people from hurting others. 

The CEO tangles her hands with yours, “Darling. . . I’m willing to make this idea come true only if you're fully in it.” 

“I’ll be there every step of the way. Just say the word.”

[heresathreebee]

Morning Of and After

SMILF Jesse X Female Reader

Summary: You meet Jesse in a bar and take him home. Masterlist

Word count: 3.3k words

Warning(s): +17 | swearing, drunk sex, porn with(out) plot (?), p in v sex, from behind, morning angst, mutual masterbation

AN: bitch I watched a 30 second clip of a tv show JUST to see an underdressed Alex Brightman. What has my life come to. Ah well, I'm gonna enjoy it while I can. Blame these lovely, inspiring fools @hoodoo12 @go-commander-kim @escape-your-grape

Jesse's not sure why you were hanging off of him at the bar but he's basking in your attention now. You didn't hesitate to give the cabbie your address, arm permanently looped around his shoulders for balance. You had both been drinking– exactly how much was a mystery– and Jesse was eager for a breakthrough in his dry spell. 

Your lips are wet and on each other as he kicks your door closed. Pulling your clothes from your body proves a little difficult, especially with you wrestling to take off his. He catches a case of the giggles when you get his head stuck in his shirt but the laughter quickly turns into a moan when he feels you slip a hand into his underwear to fondle his junk. He remembers gripping your wrist like iron and ripping his shirt from his face. He gives you a gentle push backwards, right onto the edge of your bed (he didn't know that was there but he would have been happy to take you on the floor too). 

Your top is misaligned but far from off, however you are bare from the waist down and wrap your legs around his hips to pull him towards you. Jesse's just as desperate and he slips his pants down midthigh, then stops to rummage in his pocket for a condom. He has to bat your grabby little hands away or he won't last. It's a little hard to see through the haze of lust and alcohol but he manages, and then he's pressing you into the mattress leaning on an elbow and sliding his fingers through your slick folds. 

He groans and plants a kiss on your mouth. "Fuck you're wet..." 

The man wastes no time and hooks two fingers inside you, eager to stretch you out and make you come now because you're fucking gorgeous and it's driving him to the edge without any stimulation. 

You mewl beneath him, nails scratching his scalp and chest heaving as if begging for his attention. Jesse's mouth waters heavily as he sloppily licks and sucks at your breasts, pushing your top aside and just nipping at the lace bra still intact. He has no idea how high you are until your inner walls contract around his fingers so hard he worries they might break. And with a practiced motion, he eases you down from your orgasm, fingers slowing down until he slips them out. 

And just for the hell of it, he flicks your clit and feels you jump beneath him. Suddenly your teeth are digging into his neck and he howls. 

"Fuck me already," you growl. 

You spread your legs wider to fit his hips to the center and drag him into another rough kiss. Jesse has some trouble maneuvering with his pants half on, but he catches the head on your lip and pushes in groaning at the familiar feeling of being engulfed. Bottoming out inside you sends an electric tingling sensation down his spine and he has to stop for a moment and catch his breath. 

He feels your feet sliding up his thighs, one foot still in a heel which catches on his waistband. His hips give a test rock and you moan against his collarbone, legs twitching at his sides. 

Jesse sets a subtle pace, rocking into your heat and drooling a little. You feel so fucking good underneath him, so right, like eating apple pie on the Fourth of July. His balls start to tighten and he almost lets go, but the feeling of your pussy twitching draws his attention to your face. You're close to coming again but not anywhere near where he is. The sloppy drunk part of him wants to just keep going and finish but the real Jesse wants this to be good for you too and what's a little second orgasm between drunk strangers? 

He pulls out and despite your immediate protests, you quickly become curious when Jesse's hands push and pull on you as if trying to move you. 

"What are you doing?" 

His chin has a small glisten and his eyes are so watery. There are hickeys forming on his neck and a scratch or two rising on his shoulder. The hairy expanse of his chest is turning red from friction and he looks as unreal as a dream until he says, "turn over." 

Your legs twitch and you definitely soak the quilt on your bed. Did you hear him right? This guy? Soft, pretty boy who was just a second ago gently rocking your world? 

He licks his lips and says, "turn around. I wanna do it the other way. On your knees." 

Fuck. Well you're definitely shaking with excitement as you fulfill his command. You finally manage to slip your top off and fling it into the abyss off the bed. You wiggle your hips into the requested position and shiver as a warm hand slides up your spine. Another warm hand locks around your hip and you feel him enter you with no resistance. The rough material of his jeans scratches at your thighs as he begins to thrust, longer strokes that leave you empty and full, empty and full again. You quickly slide off of your elbows and press your face into the blanket, loving the way he seems to lose himself again inside you. 

God, does he even know he's moaning right now? It's so hot, somehow hotter than him driving his cock deep inside you. The slapping sound of his hips against your ass sendings endorphins straight to your head. After Jesse breathes another 'fuck,' you slither a hand underneath your body to circle your clit. The first touch of your fingers to your sticky little button causes you to tighten around Jesse's cock and you hear him choke. He leans over your back and settles a hand on the bed to proper himself up, changing the angle of his thrusts and hitting some spot deep inside you that makes you see stars. 

"Fuck, so good," Jesse mumbles, sweaty forehead pressing against your shoulder. "Mmmm… gonna come…" 

Fuck that's exactly what you needed to hear. Your whole body turns tuat like a bow string and your walls constrict into a vice. Your legs quiver from the strong shocks of your orgasm, forcing a long, broken moan to escape your chest and black to creep into your vision. 

Your orgasm is the end of your partner. Jesse's hips stutter to a stop as he fills up the condom, unable to breath for a few seconds as he forgets his name, his location, and his sense of self and all there is left is you. Eventually Jesse's soul slams back into his body and he collapses his full weight on top of you unintentionally crushing you. He feels you laughing and at the urge of an elbow in his ribs, he rolls over and off of you. You're still giggling, boneless and satisfied as you try to catch your breath. 

You turn your head towards him to look over his blissful features. His skin glistens in the half light and he's probably seconds from falling asleep. You put a hand out on his chest and shake him awake despite yourself, knowing you need to clean up. 

"Up," you command. 

Jesse shifts off of the bed sluggishly, disposing of the condom in the bin by your desk and grabbing the waistband of his jeans like he's not sure what to do with them. You reach out mischievously and slap his ass causing him to yelp and look back at you in disbelief. 

"Take those off and get back here." You fling the quilt of your bed off and curl under the topsheet with a hand out to him. 

Jesse looks confused. He moves slowly, crawling back in naked and incapable of meeting your eyes. You place a guiding hand to help him lay his head on your silk encased pillow. "Stay," you command, and dip into the bathroom to clean up. 

Jesse lies awake but not for long, his body thumps with the beat of his heart and it lulls him to sleep. He's snoring softly when you come back and flip the lights off. 

~

Jesse's head is pounding in the morning, but he's had it worse. Like way worse. The bedroom curtains are drawn but the sun is direct and the light reflects off the walls a little too strongly for his liking. You look pretty in nothing but sheets and it's turning him on a little bit. 

What the fuck was a girl like you doing with a guy like him anyways, he wondered, over his skinnier and better looking friends? And then he wondered, how much did you have to drink last night? It unnerves him that he doesn't know the answer. You left the bar together but you didn't walk in together, who knows how many jager bombs or tequila shots you had before you met him? 

Jesse's really hyped himself up now, his hands are getting clammy and he's about to start fidgeting if he doesn't figure something out soon. When you wake up will you remember him? Did you know his name like he knew yours? Would you throw him out in disgust? Maybe you were the type who took them home because you knew they'd be gone at first light. Maybe you liked it that way. 

Jesse takes a deep breath to steel himself. He's intent on thinking things through until… until he realizes it took 10 minutes. From the time you entered the apartment to the time he came, it took 10 minutes. Oh god… that is the nail in the coffin for him. 

He slides out of bed as quietly as possible. His face is hot and his hands are cold as he slips into his underwear, then his pants. He lets his feet carry him out of the bedroom and into the hallway where he finds his shirt, and he gets distracted looking at your soaked lace underwear as he reaches for the keys by the door. 

You actually live really close to his work, which is where he left his car last night. If he can just get some distance maybe he can think better. He could probably use a tylenol more than anything right now. 

Jesse's waiting for a light to change at a crosswalk when he realizes these are not his keys. All regrets about leaving his phone number on a paper somewhere at your place go out the window when he realizes he doesn't have his phone either. 

"Fuck," he mutters in defeat.  

Returning back to your apartment is the real walk of shame. He hopes someone will stop him, ask him if he lives around here or something so he can chicken out and maybe get a friend to get his stuff back. The cute like trinkets hanging off your car keys do give him some interesting insight into the things you like. 

He can't remember if he left the door unlocked and celebrates when he doesn't have to knock and wake you up. He probably should have clued in when he heard the sound of a sink turning off, but he's actually more hungover than he thought. He fully freezes like a deer in headlights when you appear with a towel on your head and fresh lounging clothes. 

The look you give him should have turned him to stone. "Hey Jesse. Forget something?" 

He opens his mouth and nothing but a weak "heeeeyyy," escapes. His mouth flaps like a fish and he suddenly remembers to put your keys back from where he found them. Busted. "I ee I was just going out to grab some coffee… and like a tylenol… but guess I grabbed the wrong keys, hahah..." 

The twist of your mouth is a little cruel. You let the towel rest on your shoulders and toss him his keys from the kitchen counter, warm hand lingering over his heart in an affectionate but threatening way. "Coffee sounds good. There's a shop a mile that way, honest to god espresso and cheaper prices than the usual dig. I'm sure I've got a bottle of tylenol somewhere around here, I should find it by the time you come back." 

Oh...K? Are you… planning something? Should he fear for his safety? Apologize? Not knowing what else to do (and distracted by the feeling of you caressing his chest), Jesse simply nods and turns to obey you. Only at the door does he turn back and gesture with his key hand, "you uh, haven't seen my phone, have you?" 

You're smiling. You've got no bra on beneath your baseball tee, hair soaking your shoulders, and tiny tiny shorts with pockets– a pocket carrying what he clearly recognizes as his phone– and you're smiling. 

"I like my coffee strong. Just tell them my name, they'll know what to make." Jesse doesn't know what else to do except sputter and leave. 

~

It would have been a short walk but it's an even shorter drive. Jesse stands in line assessing the menu with his hands in his pockets. You were mad at him. 

Ok, that was fair. 

You were upset that he left you without a goodbye and had stupidly forgotten his things and had to come crawling back. So you weren't that kind of person. He knows that now. But you also weren't screaming at him or begging him to stick around. 

Jesse didn't know what to think of your reaction. But you knew his name. He told you his name in the cab and if you remembered it's because you weren't blackout drunk. That's good for both of you. You didn't seem too hungover either, maybe you'd had less to drink than he did or at least the same. This is good, these were good things. 

It didn't make going back to your place less terrifying though. 

~

You left the front door cracked and Jesse pushed his way in with a cup in each hand. "Boy, they sure do like you down at that coffee shop! Extra this and extra that. I'd kill to have a place like me like that." 

You seem… calmer now. The tension in your movement is gone and you peck his lips with a kiss as you take your coffee. You reach around him to shut the door and walk to the couch expecting him to follow (and of course like a dog on a leash, he did). You passed him a tylenol and took a few yourself, washing them down with your drink before leaning back with your arm over your eyes. 

"I'm sorry," Jesse blurts out. You peak at him from under your arm. "I… I didn't know if you wanted to see me when you woke up so I…" 

You snort. "Jesse, honey. If I didn't like you, you would have never made it to my room. Not even close. And if I didn't want to see you in the morning–" 

You sat up and pressed yourself almost into his lap– "I would have fucked you at the club." 

Now is not the time for a boner, this was a serious conversation. In any case, you eased up on your dominating stance and fell into his side like you belonged there. It felt nice. You smelled like fresh laundry and peaches (definitely your body wash or something), and weren't mad at him anymore. In fact you passed his phone to him and settled back. Jesse wrapped an arm around you and rested his cheek on your head. He had almost drifted back to sleep when his text tone dinged. 

MASON: Where the fuck are you? 

Jesse sighed. You knew exactly what that sound meant and became determined not to let him go without a fight, but Jesse stopped you from climbing into his lap very firmly, by flipping you onto your back and holding you down. He can't help but blush, his ears turning red as he glares at you. 

"I have. To go," he scolds. "My buddy Mason's got this project he needs help with and I promised I'd be there to help him move his stuff." 

You whine, grabbing his wrists and sliding his hands up to cover your breasts. "Can't it wait a little longer? We can be fast." 

Jesse's brain short circuits and his hands inadvertently flex. "What?" 

He knows your nipples are hard because he can feel them, and you're looking at him in that way that makes his pants tighter. You don't have to say it but when you do, he falls hook line and sinker. "Come on, babe. Round 2? Before you go?" 

How could he say no to that?

Jesse kisses you roughly. His hands squeeze your tits before he plants one to hold himself up and the other to draw you closer so he can grind his hips into yours. You gasp, pulling at his hair and then fumbling with his pants for a second just as you change your mind. Jesse protests as you push him backwards, then he stares as you slide those tiny shorts off. He goes right to circling your clit with his thumb and takes a long look at the dark spot on your new panties. 

"So easy to get you wet," he praises, swiping his thumb down over the wet patch before returning to his pronounced circular motions. 

You let him toy with you, feet resting on his shoulders until you remember your little game. you gently kick his hand away and replace it with your own, sliding the fabric aside and making him watch two of your fingers glide deep inside you. Jesse groans, intent to help out but you stop him. 

"Just me," you gasp. "Just you." 

Jesse seems momentarily confused. Then you see it click in his head and he scrambles to take his cock out, already fully erect and dark in color. He starts to stroke himself, eyes bouncing around your form and drinking in the sight of your self administered pleasure. His eyes roll back at the squelching sound filling the space between you, continuing to stroke himself with a dry rasp. 

Jesse calls your name and grasps your wrist. His tongue swirls around your fingers hungrily to suck the slick from them, groaning as he does. It's a moment's distraction as his own fings dip into your wet heat and come out coated in more. He replaces his soaked hand on his cock and strokes with renewed vigor. 

"God," he hums. It feels so good, watching you watch him is turning him on way more than he thought it would. He's getting close to coming at the thought of painting your stomach when his phone starts ringing. 

He grows an annoyed glance at the offending device, then does a double take and pounces. "Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck– hey boss!" 

You looked at him, completely stunned. Jesse pretended not to notice you and listened intently to the voice on his phone, nodding his head absently and to your horror, tucking his cock back into his pants. He doesn't look too happy about it, but he swallows his pride and tells his boss he'll 'be right there.' 

He's already apologizing as he pulls you up from the couch and sets your clothes right. Jesse peppers your sour face in light kisses, rubbing your arms as if to soothe you from a blinding rage. 

"I promise I'll make it up to you," he says donning his jacket. "I don't know when or how but I will I–" 

"Arcade. Thursday. 7 pm." You zip up his jacket and glare at him so he knows there's no room for argument. 

He smiles, "I can't wait," he drops a hearty kiss to your lips. "Thursday, 7 pm. Want me to pick you up?" 

"Only if you plan on staying the night." 

"That's a yes then." Jesse leaves and you cannot wait for Thursday.

[aomineavenue]

you existed

Pairings: Levi Ackerman x Reader

Genre: Fluff? Little bit of Angst?

Summary: Requested by Anon - “Can I request a prompt with Levi Ackerman and how he reacts to his F!reader's abusive ex boyfriend approaching her? Sorry for the odd request!”

Word Count: 2k+

Warnings: mention of abuse. 

mia speaks: 

This was originally posted on my previous blog, but since I’m still in the process of moving my old works, I’m only doing this now. So if you’ve stumbled onto this before, do not fret, i did not steal it lmao. 

If it’s not too much, please COMMENT on what you think of this piece, or maybe REBLOG if you like it!

Occupying one of the park benches, the two of you sat side by side for a silent second before Levi twists his upper body slightly to face you, wanting to see your face. However before he could speak, you blurt out, "You're ending this aren't you?"

Everyone who knew of the Levi Ackerman was aware of how much of a clean freak he was. With that said, it pretty much meant he was observant, the tiniest of details always grasping his attention. How a wooden shelf nailed to the wall was slightly crooked, or how someone had forgotten to properly twist the tap shut after washing the dishes.

Or even how the slightest brush against the contact of your skin with his own causes you to flinch.

At first, he had been distraught of the thought that you were disgusted by him, how you would never bring yourself for anything intimate like the simple gesture of a hug of greeting or farewell. Not that Levi was an intimate person, despite months of courting you, he was the proper gentleman, reminding you time and time again, that he would only do certain things you were comfortable with, always double-checking with you first if you were satisfied with the plans he had thought of. However, it had been months and the closest contact the both of you had were fingers brushing against each other, and it made him curious as to why. He began to doubt himself, wondering if he was doing something wrong or you were simply not interested of him at all, but the smiles that were etched on your features every time the both of you shared each other's company, were enough to give him hope and as he observed you further, you flinched at almost any contact with anyone, it wasn't just him. It was a good thing that he learned to be patient. He didn't want to push your buttons, somehow, he knew you would eventually tell him when you were ready.

You had caught Levi's interests at the local market, the mere sight of you interacting with the locals was a sight he repeated in his head every single day since he had known you. How you were polite to everyone you came across, how your lips would lift up to a smile, it was breathtaking. And for the first time ever, Levi found himself introducing himself to someone without scaring them off. And ever since, he had been courting you, treating you like the queen he says you deserved.

Today was no different. Levi, despite his very busy schedule, had planned things ahead of time for just a simple date walking about at the local park at Shinganshina District, you, of course, completely smitten of Levi's courtship the past few months agreed wholeheartedly. Levi didn't know it yet, but you could easily read through his features whenever he was doubting, whether it was about the two of you or his work, you had learned how to read the man who barely showed any emotions, you have to admit his rare smiles always made your heart skip.

So as the both of you strolled through the park, despite the multiples noises created by the birds flying by, children playing and the cool air brushing against your exposed skin, the silence from the both of you since Levi had picked you up from your home were enough to worry you.

"Is everything alright?" you break the silence, catching his attention or rather startling him from his thoughts, his sudden startled features causing a soft giggle to slip out of your lips, you tease, "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt you from your thoughts."

He feels his cheeks grow warm from embarrassment, "Ah sorry, I suppose—" he cuts himself off with a sigh, "Can we talk?" You stare at him for a second, doubt growing in the back of your head as you comprehend his words. "It's nothing to worry about, I swear!" he says frantically, probably noticing the worried expression that you had not been able to suppress almost immediately from your features.

Despite the growing doubt in the back of your head, you let your lips curl up to a small smile as you give him a nod, "Let's sit down. I have a feeling this will be a long talk,"

Occupying one of the park benches, the two of you sat side by side for a silent second before Levi twists his upper body slightly to face you, wanting to see your face. However before he could speak, you blurt out, "You're ending this aren't you?"

His eyes widen at your words, completely forgetting his observation of your tendency to flinch from any form of contact as he took your hands in his own. At the sight of you flinching however, he slowly retracted his hands as he mumbles softly underneath his breath, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

Your brows furrow ever so slightly at his apology, "What are you sorry for?"

He debated with himself for a second before rambling, "I just took notice of how you flinch away whenever I touch you. I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable and that you don't like me that—"

"Levi," you cut him off from his rambling, your features softening upon the realization of what he was implying, "It's not you, i—it's me,"

"What do you mean?" He questions, confuse and curious at the same time. At the sight of your reluctance to speak, he quickly retracts his question, "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it, you know that I don't want you to do anything that you aren't—"

You playfully tease, "You're rambling again, Levi."

"Sorry," he mumbles, feeling his cheeks grow warm once more.

You shake your head at the sight of Levi, this side of him always making your heart flutter as it took a while for him to show this side to you. You smile at him reassuringly, "Don't be sorry, it's cute." Your smile widens at the sight of his scrunched up features at being called cute. "But it's okay, you deserve to know. And I have been thinking of opening up to you for quite some time now, so it's now or never,"

The raven-haired man stays silent, waiting for when you were ready and most certainly not wanting to interrupt, whatever it was you were hiding, it was obviously important. "You see..." You trail off, tearing your gaze away from him as you lean back against the wooden bench, a heavy sigh slipping past your lips, "before you came along in my life, I was in a relationship with someone who I thought was really meant for me. With any blossoming relationship, you were to expect such joy and love from each other. I was over the moon, of course, someone was finally giving me such attention that no other man has, I mean, just look at me."

"I am," he whispers, halting you from your explanation, he meets your gaze with his own; he flashes you a small smile, "and you look absolutely breathtaking,"

You feel your breath hitch at the back of your throat, the corners of your mouth tugging up to a smile, you mumble "Thank you."

The silence from Levi signalled you to continue, "but every relationship has its ups and downs, it was never perfect. That was my mindset throughout our whole relationship. Despite everything he says or does, I wanted to believe that he really did love me. I kept telling myself how lucky I was to have him because no one has ever shown me, such love, before. I was so stuck, I wanted to believe everything was okay because if he leaves, then what?"

"What did..." You hear the hesitance in his voice, "What did he do?"

Lightly nibbling your bottom lip, you lower your gaze down to your hands that were rested on your lap, fidgeting with the tips of your fingers. Fluttering your eyelids shut as memories of your previous relationship resurfaces to the very front of your mind. You fight the emotional wave that wanted to crash and breakthrough the high walls you've built around yourself the past couple of months. "H—he," you stutter, fluttering your eyelids back open as you swallow the lump that formed in the back of your throat, "whenever I did something he disapproved of, he would—"

From beside you, he felt his blood boil. He watches as you crumble before him and he fought the urge to pull you into his arms, to mumble words of comfort and positivity into your ear but he remembered your discomfort of physical contact. However, he wanted to give you some sort of comfort from the mere sight of you fighting the urge to break down. Hesitantly, he reaches out to grasp your hands in his, at the sight of you flinching, he slowly rubs circles against the skin of your hand with the pad of his thumb, trying his best to soothe you.

"It's okay," he mumbles softly, giving your hand a gentle squeeze, "you don't have to tell me everything, I understand. We'll get through this,"

At the mention of getting through whatever you were going through together, not by yourself, but how he phrased his words claiming he would be there for you as well, made your heart swell. Lifting your chin up, you turn your gaze over to the man you had grown to adore and know the past couple of months, your vision becoming glossy from the tears forming in the corners of your eyes, "I—I don't know what to say,"

"Well, such a lovely sight this is."

You feel your heart skip a beat from the intruder's interruption. You didn't even have to look up to see the owner of the voice that interrupted both of you. Spending so much time with each other was enough for you to know who it was.

Levi shifts his attention over to the intruder, arching a brow in curiosity, "Sorry, but we're having a private conversation here. Please, leave."

The intruder lets a scoff leave his lips, furrowing his brows as he shifts his gaze away from you over to the man seated beside you, "Does it look like I care if I'm interrupting? I'd like a word,"

As your name rolls off his tongue, you couldn't help but shudder from both disgust and fear. It had been half a year since you and Marcus ended things with your own terms with the help of your parents and best friend, but that didn't mean he had stopped bothering you and it's not like you could have avoided him forever, no matter how much you prayed to the walls. Threatening letters were constantly sent to your address, but with little money you and your family had, there wasn't much that you could do. He constantly followed you, but escorted by people who knew of the psychopath that Marcus is, he somehow kept his distance, creepily watching you from afar. Complaints were never taken seriously by the MPs, so as much as possible, you stayed indoors avoiding society as much as you could, only leaving when necessary, but even then, with someone escorting you, you never felt safe.

Marcus calls you once more and you flinch from the harshness of his tone, not wanting to drag Levi into the wrath Marcus would create that you're all too familiar with and for the situation to grow worst in public, you were slowly getting up to your feet but was pulled back by the man who continued to hold your hand protectively. Your eyes widen from this, shifting your gaze over to Levi who was now glaring at Marcus. You feel Levi giving your hand a gentle squeeze before he releases his grip to push himself to stand from his seat.

Marcus scoffs as Levi approaches him, "I don't know who you think you are but my father is part of a MPs and you wouldn't—"

His words were instantly put to a halt, you weren't able to comprehend what was happening before you. One moment Marcus was speaking as cocky as he usually would, and in one swift movement, Levi has Marcus pinned to the ground, his face pressed harshly and uncomfortably against the cobblestones, hands behind his back as Levi's foot keeps his hands in place. The sight was enough for the people within the vicinity to stop and look, probably wanting to gossip, and it was enough for you to wince, you didn't know whether you wanted to be afraid of Levi's abilities or happy that Marcus was somehow put in his place.

"Does it look like I care for who you are?" Levi speaks, his features calm as he continues to pin Marcus in place, "if your so-called father is a part of that lousy regiment, send him over to our office so we can discuss charges for his abusive son."

Noticing the growing crowd, you push yourself to stand and inched closer to Levi. You avoid Marcus as much as you could as you reach out for Levi's arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Come on Levi," you whisper, giving him a soft smile, "he isn't worth it. Let's leave."

He stares at you for a moment before lowering his gaze to your grip on his shoulder, nodding slowly. Giving the man he had pinned down one harsh step on the wrist with the heel of his shoe, he mentally smirked to himself when Marcus yelps in pain. "Tch. Don't try any more ideas, if I see you within the vicinity I will not hesitate. For once, you're lucky she was here to save you."

The two of you move away, not bothering to glance back at Marcus who was spewing profanities towards your direction, nor did you give an ounce of attention to the gossiping crowd. Your eyes flicker over to the man that walked beside you, noticing his tensed shoulders. Without second-guessing yourself, you grab his hands with your own, lacing your fingers together much to Levi's surprise, but of course, he wasn't going to complain. "I'm sorry about Marcus,"

You felt him give your hand a gentle squeeze, "you have nothing to be sorry about, that bastard had it coming. Never apologize for that, I'll make sure he doesn't go anywhere near you again."

"I'm not sorry about that, you're right. He had it coming," you agree with a nod, a small smile playing on your lips as you feel Levi's thumb again brushing against your skin, "I'm sorry that I kept this from you for so long, you deserved to know the truth from the very start and—"

Levi's footsteps stop causing you to halt in place, and you look at him curiously, "You don't have to be sorry about that, either. What you went through was awful and it wouldn't be easy to get over or even talk about it. Stop beating yourself up for this. I trust you, I will continue to trust you as you get through this. We'll get through this, one step at a time. Nothing you say or do will change my mind about—"

Interrupting him, you throw your hands around him and nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, letting out a sob. His words were enough to make your heart swell, tears once again forming in your eyes as you cling onto him tightly. "I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you,"

He hears you mumble against his skin, his arms snaking around your waist to hold you close to him. He nuzzles his nose into your hair, inhaling your scent as he releases a content sigh. From the very start, he knew you were worth it. It didn't matter to him how long it would take for you to see what he sees, but he vows to himself that he would. "Simple," he murmurs softly, "You existed."

[letstrywritingmaybe]

Love, Learned

Nineteen

There she goes again, standing way too close to her husband when any respectable human being would know to stay at least an arm’s distance away. She’s definitely into him, and Shiho hates it. Truth be told she doesn’t know much about his secretary, they’ve barely interacted, always missing each other. Sometimes she wonders if that’s done on purpose… she has to stop feeding into these thoughts, it makes her feel sick thinking about it. Surely Shinichi isn’t the type to fall victim to a horrible cliché, right? The boss sleeping with his secretary while the poor wife at home is none the wiser. Her eyes narrow when she sees the temptress accidentally brush against her husband to reach for a file. Really? To do this right outside of his office where everyone can see? Can she be more obvious? Lost in scenarios she would rather not be focusing on, she almost misses the sound of his voice calling her name. She looks up, their eyes meet as he makes his way over to her. He leans in to kiss her, keeping it chaste as they’re in front of all his employees, his smile is infectious as he invites her to sit down and work on the case at hand. Right, she’s here to help him figure out the cause of death. Closing her eyes, taking a deep breath, she resets herself.

“Shiho, you’re brilliant! I know who did it!”

Pressing a kiss on her cheek, he pulls out his phone to call the station and give his deduction. Her heart warms at the sight of him, doing what he loves, the light radiating from within whenever he has a breakthrough. She’ll never get tired of how happy he looks after solving a case he’s been stuck on, she’s also rather fond of the way he pours all of his energy to focus on his work. It’s one of the many qualities she admires about her husband, she smiles watching as he continues his conversation with whoever the responding officer is. It’s short lived as a frown takes its place when she sees his secretary once again invading his space. Another accidental bump as she prepares to leave the agency, Shiho doesn’t buy it for a second.

“Ready to go home?”

“Huh? Already? Don’t you have to finish up with the case?”

“I’ll finish it tomorrow, I haven’t been home in a couple of days and I missed you.”

“Let’s go home then.”

The annoying feeling continues to fester even as they go home and have dinner together. His focus is on her, using any little excuse to touch her, he wasn’t lying when he said he missed her. It does make her feel a little better, until his phone rings and of course it’s his secretary who accidentally dialed the wrong number. That’s the third strike, it’s definitely done on purpose and all while Shiho is there to witness. She’s sending a message, two can play that game.

“Shiho? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. How was your day, Shinichi?”

“Better, after seeing you.”

“You really missed me that much?”

Hugging her from behind as she prepares for bed, wearing a robe she’s never worn in front of him, he kisses her cheek as an answer. She removes his hand, turning to face him with a wicked smile. Gently pushing him down to lie on their bed, she leans in to whisper in his ear sending shivers up his spine. She reacts before he does, not giving him a chance to have the upper hand.

“You’re going to be late for work tomorrow… if you even make it there.”

She straddles him, fingers lightly trailing down his shirt unbuttoning it one by one. She leans forward to kiss him, he responds immediately pulling her flush against him. She breaks the kiss despite his protests, she simply smiles before untying her robe to reveal what’s underneath. A deep green babydoll made of silk, with a plunging neckline leaving little to imagination, it barely covers her ass.

“Is that new?”

“Maybe.”

“Am I the only one to see you in this?”

“In this color, yes.”

“You have more of these? Where are you hiding them, actually why are you hiding them from me?”

“I have to have some surprises, or else it’ll get old quick.”

“With you, never.”

“Is that so?”

“You don’t believe me?”

She doesn’t give a verbal answer, choosing to respond by removing the rest of his clothes. She keeps hers on. He reaches for her, but she backs away teasing him when she purposely brushes herself over his hardened length. His eyes widen, even more eager now that he knows there’s nothing keeping them apart, she’s not wearing any underwear. He pushes himself up intent on just taking her, normally she would just let him but not tonight. She wants to prioritize his needs first.

“Just sit back and relax, let me take care of everything.”

“But…”

“I want to touch you Shinichi, I want to make you feel good too.”

“You do make me feel good, Shiho.”

She loves the fact that he always puts her needs first, now it’s his turn. Distracting him with a light peck on his lips, he closes his eyes, opening them when he feels her hand wrapped around him. A gentle tug, stroking his length with her alluring eyes focused on his face. Wanting to see the effect she has on him, still has on him even after being married for over a year. Their spark is nowhere close to burning out. He loves how soft her hands are, how she knows the exact amount of pressure to use, setting a nice easy pace. He surrenders, though he prefers to satisfy her, he won’t complain about this role reversal.

“Shiho, I’m gonna…”

“It’s okay, cum for me.”

“… I wanna be inside you… when I…”

“After, I’m not done with you yet.”

He stops holding back once he hears her reassurance that there’s more to look forward to. He makes a mess spilling onto the sheets, with some of the residue landing on her as well. She’s not bothered at all about the stain in her newly purchased attire, using her finger she swipes it off the silky material then puts her finger into her mouth to lick it clean. She moans, complimenting him on how good he tastes. She tells him to stay put while she takes a towel to wipe up the rest of his release, he watches her with baited breath to see her next move. She’s a massive tease, but tonight there’s something different about her, she’s set on filling all of his desires. He wants to ask her why the sudden change, but his thoughts are interrupted when she straddles him. How she has time to calculate his refractory period he’ll never know, but he’s damn lucky she’s just as intune with his body as he is with hers.

She continues to tempt him by rubbing her folds over his erection. She's so wet, he can easily slip inside if she would just stop moving away. He tries to hold her still, hands gripping her hips, she brushes against him again. He whines out loud, frustrated that she won’t give them both what they want. She kisses him, lightly nipping his bottom lip.

“Shiho, please. I want to feel you…”

“How bad do you want me?”

“Desperately.”

“Hm…”

“Tell me what I have to do for you to believe me.”

“Tell me you’re mine, and only mine.”

“Of course I’m yours, there’s no one else I want. It’s you Shiho, only you.”

Since he’s so kind, giving her a satisfactory answer, she grants his request. A devious smile before she leans in to claim his lips once more, shifting her hips at the same time to slide down onto him. He’s not sure which of them makes the noise, most likely both, at finally being joined together. She doesn’t waste anymore time, setting a smooth rhythm while his hands reach the strap of her lingerie pulling it down exposing her breast. Kneading the soft flesh, his touch combined with the cool air making her nipples pebble. She loves the way his hands feel on her, a reciprocating relationship, he loves the way she responds to his actions.

“Shinichi…”

His name comes out in between a breathy moan, he can feel her quiver around him, her movements slowing. Her grip on his shoulders tightens, digging her nails into his skin, leaving crescent shape marks in their wake. It isn’t enough, she wants to leave more traces of herself on him, let everyone know he’s taken. He’s never seen this side of her, a possessive streak he didn’t know existed. He smiles holding her close, before pushing her on her back to prove his devotion. He starts to pull out, but she wraps her legs around his waist keeping him still. She leans in to whisper in his ear that she wants to feel all of him. This woman is going to be the death of him.

Meant to be FaceTiming with Ran as they do their weekly catch up talk, but Shiho’s distracted. Each time Shinichi passes by her, she can see the love bites scattered across his skin he didn’t even bother covering up. To be fair, he’s also working from home today, so there’s no reason to hide them. She can’t help but wonder what his secretary would think if she saw the evidence of their lovemaking, maybe she should find an excuse to send him to the office.

“Shiho, I know that look and gross. We can catch up another day if you want to jump your husband so badly.”

“You make it sound like that’s all I think about. What do you mean you know that look?”

“It’s the same look he has with you. I’m happy that you guys have a healthy sex life, but I would rather not know the details.”

“Now you know how I feel when you share stories about your husband.”

“Okay, okay. I give, you’re right. What’s going on though?”

“Hm?”

“There’s something bothering you, did Shinichi do something?”

“No, he’s the perfect husband as usual…”

“But?”

“I don’t know Ran, I guess I’m just a little ticked with his job.”

“Oh I know, it’s like all he thinks about are his cases.”

“No, that’s not the problem. I don’t mind that at all. It’s actually kinda nice to see how excited he gets when he figures it out.”

“Then what is it?”

She glances over at his closed office door that he just walked inside of. After making sure Shinichi is nowhere around them, even moving over to the balcony outside as a precaution. She shuts the door, she’s completely alone, the sound of the waves would be enough to mask the conversation if he should come looking for her. Ran waits patiently though she's a bit worried over how sneaky she’s acting.

“Shiho, you’re scaring me, what’s wrong?”

“I hate his secretary.”

“What? Why? What’s wrong with her?”

“I mean she’s nice, but… like too nice you know?”

“You’re gonna have to give me some examples.”

“She’s just too close to him, always getting into his space. I’ve seen the way she looks at him too, and ugh, he just doesn’t even notice it! Are you laughing at me? I’m being serious. This is so frustrating!”

“I’m sorry, it’s just so funny. You’re so jealous, I’ve literally never seen you get jealous before.”

“I am not jealous.”

“Yes you are, Shinichi didn’t change secretaries right? It’s still the same one I met last year?”

“Yes, the same one.”

“Shiho, you know she’s happily married right? Like with a kid and everything.”

“So? Marriage doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean she’s not interested in him.”

“Oh Shiho… at the very least, you don’t have to worry about Shinichi. He would never even think about being with anyone else.”

“Maybe…”

“You think he would cheat on you?”

“Well I mean… it wouldn’t really be cheating. It’s not like we’re actually married.”

“Oh my god, Shiho! You’re kidding right?”

“Um, no?”

“This is worse than I thought. Poor Shinichi, no wonder he’s been in a mood. I love you and you’re my best friend, but I can’t believe you right now! He’s in love with you! And you’re definitely in love with him too!”

“Just because we’re married doesn’t mean…”

“Shiho, stop trying to deny it. Admit it, you would be heartbroken if he decided to go screw his secretary.”

“Who’s going to screw his secretary? You can’t be talking about me right?”

She didn’t even notice when he appeared behind her,. How much of their conversation did he hear? How did he manage to sneak up on her like that?

“Shinichi? When did you get here?”

“Just now, hi Ran.”

“I’ll leave you two alone, call me later Shiho! Good luck Shinichi!”

Shiho rolls her eyes at the exchange, she’s supposed to be on her side. Feeling her husband's arms wrap around her waist, she turns her attention to him asking if he needs something. He just wanted to know if she was craving anything in particular for dinner.

“I’m good with anything, you choose since you’re home for once.”

“Sorry, I’ve been so busy.”

“It’s okay, I get it. Let’s go inside, it’s getting cold.”

“Shiho.”

“Hm?”

“You know you don’t have to worry right?”

“About?”

“I only want you, no one else. Shiho, I…”

She kisses him to shut him up, not yet ready to hear the rest of the sentence. Words that he’s been dying to tell her, ones that she refuses to listen to. It’s better this way, besides he doesn’t mean it anyways. They’re doing fine, no need to change the dynamic and ruin what they have. She’s perfectly content with the way things are right now.

Also available on ao3 <3

[fandomwriterstuff]

Quarantine Queen

Darcy was, for all intents and purposes, an extrovert. She thrived on being around people, engaging with them, all that jazz. So when Dr. Doom’s minions released a pathogen that led to the entirety of Manhattan being quarantined and sick with an extra-strength virus, she started going stir crazy.

She lived in an apartment building not too far from the Avengers Tower (where she worked in the labs). However, she barely left the tower and only slept in her apartment. She never had food stocked in the fridge. Just vodka in the freezer and some microwave meals stacked behind it.

So, when everything went into lockdown while she was asleep, she panicked.

Can I go to the grocery store? I don’t have any food.

She’d sent it in the tower group chat, hoping the resident Avengers would know more about the situation than she did.

Tin Man: What do you mean no food? You’re the one always making us come to family dinner at the tower.

She rolled her eyes and sent back: Yeah, at the tower. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a meal in my apartment.

Tin Man: I’ll have JARVIS order essentials to be sent to your apartment with no-contact delivery.

HawkDaddy: I got the sickness, please send me soup.

Darcy frowned. It had only been a day since the quarantine started, how did he get sick so fast?

Tin Man: I only send delivery to my favorites.

HawkDaddy: :(

Darcy laughed and rolled her eyes. Her friends were so weird. But then again, she was friends with a bunch of super people. She couldn’t even make friends in her apartment complex because she was never there.

She ended up pulling her knitting supplies out from under her bed to make a Mjolnir-themed sweater for Thor. There wasn’t much work she could do from home since Jane was also not in the labs.

She knitted and had Ted Lasso on in the background on the TV until six, when there was a knock on her door. She startled, dropping a stitch, but quickly recovered and hurried to look through the peephole. Nobody there. She opened the door a crack and looked around, nobody was there. But when she looked down there were about forty bags of groceries in front of her door.

She shot a text to the group.

Holy Mjolnir. That is a lot of groceries.

She added a picture of the mountain of brown paper bags in front of her door.

Tony: You’re welcome, kiddo.

Darcy smiled. Tony could be very thoughtful sometimes. As she started hauling it all inside she took a look at what ‘the basics’ meant. It included oat milk, various canned goods and frozen vegetables, toilet paper and feminine hygiene products (her favorite brand of tampons… was he a mind reader?). He’d even sent her over a tin of brownies.

So, Darcy made it a hobby to be a homebody. As long as she could pass the time, she would be okay. One day turned into two, two into three, then it had been a week, two weeks, three weeks since the quarantine started. It took Darcy three weeks to realize a few things. She’d barely changed out of her pajamas in over a week. She hadn’t showered in nine days. She hadn’t ingested anything but coffee and Ritz crackers for six days. She hadn’t answered Jane’s video calls in three days. She’d been ignoring the group text for two, as it was starting to give her heart palpitations. She hadn’t even moved from the couch to go to her bed last night and woke up with a sore back.

She didn’t notice any of this, of course, until she got another video call. Thinking it was Jane, she just swiped it, but instead of swiping to end it, she accidentally swiped to answer it.

“Fuck!” She shouted as her phone slipped from her hand and onto the rug.

“You know a ‘hello’ would have worked, too,” so that was definitely not Jane’s voice.

“Tony?” she asked as she picked up the phone and looked at the man’s face. She wished she hadn’t though, as he immediately raised an eyebrow at her.

“Have you looked in a mirror like… At all in the past several days? That crust looks several days old, mamacita,” Darcy looked down at her sweaty t-shirt and mens boxer shorts self-consciously. “I mean your face, darling. Have you washed it recently?” His tone softened and that’s when Darcy realized something was wrong. Tony wasn’t soft with her. Sarcastic, sassy, nosy, that’s how she’d describe their relationship. But it was never this sincere.

“Hold on,” her voice was scratchy with disuse and she left her phone face up on the coffee table as she hurried over to her bathroom sink.

Shit. She looked like a wreck. Her hair was a greasy mess piled on top of her head. She couldn’t remember the last time she washed her face. It was a miracle she wasn’t developing acne. After she thoroughly scrubbed the grime off her face, she went to change into other pajamas, but she was thinning out. It was weird. She couldn’t find anything that fit right on her body so she just threw on a pair of blue gingham boxers and one of Tony’s stolen band t-shirts.

“That’s a little better,” Tony spoke when she came back to her phone. “Though I would suggest getting in the shower sometime soon.” She rolled her eyes at that. Maybe.

“Why did you video call me?” She pondered as she settled back down into her couch, feeling a little cleaner.

“You haven’t answered my texts in days. I’m allowed to worry about my friends, Darcy Lewis,” he raised both eyebrows at her and she winced. “I know this quarantine has been hard on everyone, but it’s also okay to not be okay. You’re used to being around people 24/7. You even said yourself that you never eat alone.”

“I’m fine,” she shrugged. “Just used to socializing and doing work. I’m not used to sitting still.”

“Are you sure that’s all? Jane said you haven’t been answering her either.”

“Jane snitched?” She gasped and narrowed her eyes. “Who else?”

Suddenly the man looked very innocent.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he spoke calmly with a lilt to his voice.

“Who else told you they’re worried about me?” Darcy wanted to cross her arms but she was stuck holding her phone.

“Jane and Thor, Clint, Natasha, Bruce, Steve-”

“How the fuck? What would they know? I don’t socialize with them outside of the tower so how the fuck would they know something was going on?” She spat, feeling a little defensive and teamed up on.

“You haven’t answered Jane’s calls, so she and Thor are concerned. Clint hasn’t seen you on X-Box live since the first week of quarantine, so he asked about you. Natasha seems to just know things, so she asked me to check in on you. Bruce knows what it’s like to have to be alone all of the time and was wondering how his favorite extrovert was doing. And Steve-”

“Go on, I’d like to hear this,” Darcy muttered. She’d had the biggest crush on Steve for the longest time, but they didn’t talk much since he didn’t work in the labs. They only socialized at family dinners and movie nights.

“He hasn’t heard you blast music in like six days,” Tony said with a quirked eyebrow. Darcy sputtered.

“What does that even mean?” She asked, throwing her free hand up.

“He lives next to you?” Tony said it like a question.

“I thought he lived at the tower,” Darcy frowned, eyeing up the wall she shared with the neighbor she’d never met.

“You- you didn’t know you lived next to Steve?” Tony asked exasperatedly. He shook his head and Darcy felt her cheeks heating. She wasn’t the most observant at times, and they’d been in quarantine for three weeks. It’s not like she was going outside. Plus, before that she was barely ever here. “This is a new level of unobservant. For someone who works in science, this is shocking.”

“It’s not that shocking,” she sputtered, scratching the back of her head. “I was barely ever here before all of this.”

“Fair, but still. For someone who has a Steve-radar, you probably could have figured it out. I mean,” he sighed. “You have the same commute. You work in the same building. When you leave movie night you go to the same place.”

“Yeah but usually I go to ang with Jane first,” Darcy felt like she had to defend herself. “I gotta go, I need to take a shower,” and with that, she cut him off and hung up with a huff. Who did he think he was, her father? Jeez.

As she stripped out of her fresh pajamas (probably not so fresh anymore since she’d been sweating nervously under Tony’s interrogative tone), she noticed even more how thin her fingers were looking, how cold she was. That was probably a bad thing.

However, the thoughts flew from her mind as she stepped into the hot spray of water and just leaned into it. It was nearly a religious experience. Or, it would have been, if she didn’t know that gods were just aliens. She took way too long in there, shampooing twice and just letting the hot water pour over her pale skin. She hadn’t been able to go outside and tan at all this summer with Jane being near a breakthrough and now with the quarantine.

All she’d done was knit and watch TV and cook. She finished Thor’s sweater and decided to knit one for all of the resident Avengers. Thor’s was maroon with little gold Mjolnirs all over it. Bruce’s was cream with little chemical structures all over it (she didn’t think he would wear a shirt with the Hulk all over it). Tony’s was black with a red and gold iron man helmet on the front and “I am Iron Man” on the back. Natasha’s was red with little knives and guns all over it. Clint’s (obviously) was purple with bows and arrows all over it, and “Legolas” on the back (Legolas was his favorite archer, how could Katniss or Merida even compare to an immortal elven archer?).

She was working on Steve’s now. He wasn’t all “apple pie America” in his free time, but she still wanted it to be cute and on theme. It was navy blue with a very complex eagle and waving american flag on it. Darcy was struggling, but she would be finished with it soon. She’d been knitting her whole life, her grandmother had taught her when she lived with her for a while.

She’d send them all out once they were done.

When Darcy finally exited the shower, fresh and smelling like roses and strawberries, she noticed she had another missed call from Jane and a few texts in the group chat. Her heart rate started ratcheting up. She could smell her deodorant in the air as she started sweating slightly. She licked her dry lips. Since when did she get anxious about group chats?

She took a look and smiled softly at her friends’ names.

Nat: I’ve come down with something. I blame Clint.

HawkDaddy: I was sick THREE WEEKS AGO. Why do you blame me?

Nat: You have a guilty face.

HawkDaddy: [download image]

Darcy quickly clicked on the attachment and giggled at Clint’s pouting face. She didn’t think before responding.

You know better than all of us that pouting is not going to sway Natasha’s opinion.

There was suddenly an influx of messages, and then Darcy remembered that she hadn’t responded in several days.

Nat: She’s right, you know.

That was the most normal response. Darcy had a feeling Natasha was the most emotionally intelligent one at the moment and didn’t want to make Darcy feel bad about falling into a depression hole.

HawkDaddy: Marceline the Vampire Queen has returned to us!

Tin Man: I think if anything, Short Stack is Princess Bubblegum.

Here’s Brucey: Darcy is Finn. She’s out here saving all of us all the time. Welcome back :)

Darcy smiled at that one. She’d convinced Clint and the scientists to watch Adventure Time.

America’s Ass: I am so confused.

America’s Ass: [download image]

Darcy laughed as she clicked on Steve’s gif. It was Lemongrab screaming ‘unacceptable.’ She didn’t know which was funnier: Steve not knowing what was going on and actually picking a gif from Adventure time, OR Steve having watched Adventure Time on his own and trolling them.

Alien of Thunder: My lightning sister has returned to the glorious group chat!

Alien of Thunder: This is cause for celebration!

Darcy sighed and smiled at her friends’ antics. Her anxiety had leveled out and she was feeling better than she had in days. First, she got to see Tony’s lovely face. Now she got to text with her friends.

However, it was time to finish Steve’s sweater.

“Friday,” she called out to the speaker in her living room. “Play ‘The Final Countdown,’” Darcy grinned a shark-like grin as she sat in her recliner and got her needles out. She could do this.

It was two more days before she called Tony again.

“What’s up stranger?” He asked when Darcy’s face popped up on the screen.

“I need to have something delivered to each of you. Can you help?” She looked over at the pile of sweaters wrapped in brown paper.

“Yeah, sure. Bruce did some tests on Steve and he seems to be immune due to his super DNA. He can pick it up and deliver it,” Tony was fiddling with a machine and Darcy nodded.

“I’ll text him then, thanks Tony!” And with that she hung up. Though she quickly shot a text to Steve.

I have a mission, should you choose to accept it.

While she waited, she decided to deep clean her room. Nothing would help her get out of her quarantine depression like summer cleaning! Once the entire apartment was vacuumed, mopped, dusted, and Lysol’d, she checked her phone again. Steve just replied.

Hit me with it.

She chuckled and sent back a picture of the stack of presents and the caption: I made something for each of you guys and I need help delivering it.

A moment later she sent another text: Tony said you were immune to the virus so I was wondering if you would help.

It only took a few minutes for Steve to reply.

Sure thing, Darcy :)

She smiled, he was genuinely one of the kindest people she’d met. He was just her type, too: tall, strong, he could swear like a sailor (not that he would let Tony know). While she was pondering her crush on the American icon, a knock sounded on her door, startling her out of her daydream and making her heart rate soar.

Hurrying over to the peephole, she let out a sigh of relief. It was Steve.

When she opened the door he looked down and smiled. When Darcy looked down, she noticed her outfit: a pair of black leggings (thankfully she had decided on pants that morning), and a “HULK SMASH” t-shirt with green and purple tie dye. Well, no use being bashful, she smiled gratefully at the man and let him in.

“I guess since you’re immune you’re allowed to come in,” she quipped and Steve chuckled.

“Thanks,” he rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “What did you make?”

“It’s a surprise,” Darcy winked and Steve felt a blush creep up his neck. “I can’t tell you because I made you one, too. You can’t open yours until everyone else has theirs, too. Okay? And no peeking at theirs. And don’t look in the group chat until you open it. Got it?”

“That’s a lot of rules, Darce,” he was smiling, standing in her newly cleaned apartment and in her personal space like it was totally normal and she hadn’t been isolated for nearly a month.

“I know, but it’s an important mission,” she loaded his arms up with little brown packages and sighed when he went to leave. He turned back to her with a curious look on his face. “It’s nice being able to see somebody in person,” she shrugged and he nodded sagely.

“Well, after I go see everyone I should self-isolate for a few days to make sure I’m not carrying any germs, but maybe after we can get together and watch a movie?” He cocked his head and smiled that winning smile at her.

“That would be lovely,” Darcy couldn’t help but return his smile, and hurried to escort him out. “No peeking!” She called as he laughed his way to the stairwell. He was such a good guy.

Darcy waited anxiously as Steve made his way to the tower and the other Avengers’ abodes. It was taking a little while though… Maybe he had walked? Darcy was nervously scrolling through her Instagram feed when the first message popped up.

It was a picture of Clint’s sweater.

HawkDaddy: Oh Em Gee, Darcy. It’s PERFECT.

Darcy felt warmth blooming in her chest at the sentiment. She loved giving to people. She thrived on happiness.

She kept quiet as the pictures started coming in. Tony was next, and then Bruce (probably working in the labs together with their N95 masks on).

Tin man: Short Stack, you’ve outdone yourself.

Attached was a photo of the sweater (front and back) compared to his actual face plate. It was pretty good, if she did say so herself.

Here’s Brucey: This is perfect, Darcy.

Bruce had actually included a selfie of himself giving a thumbs up. It made a giggle bubble up out of her chest. Nat was next, including a picture of her sweater next to her favorite knife and a handgun with the message: They are very realistic, I’m impressed.

That was a good compliment, and it went straight to Darcy’s head.

Thor was next, and he sent a picture of Jane absolutely drowning in the large sweater, and then a close up of a tiny knitted Mjolnir.

Alien of Thunder: A most excellent representation of my hammer, lightning sister. I shall wear it with pride.

Last, she waited for Steve to get home and open his.

When it finally came in, Darcy giggled at the image of Steve wearing a knitted sweater with an eagle and a billowing flag, hands on his hips. It was a sight to be seen.

America’s Ass: I’ve never worn a more appropriate sweater.

Darcy finally wrote in the group chat: Quarantine phase I: Darcy gets bored and knits everyone a sweater.

She was met with ‘LOL’s and laughing face emojis. Life was good for today, nothing dark on the horizon, she’d made her friends happy, and she had an upcoming movie night with Steve.

Darcy settled in on her couch and got ready for a night of Adventure Time.

Darcy spent two days in her post-sweater-delivery happy mood. Two excellent days where she showered, ate three meals, did a workout, messaged all of her friends. But reality set in. She didn’t know when she’d see them again. She didn’t know when she could hug Jane or go back to work. She hadn’t talked to Tony or Pepper but she was still getting her biweekly paychecks. She felt guilty about that. She felt guilty that she wasn’t brainy enough to help fix the virus or strong enough to have fought Dr. Doom’s minions.

So she was laying on her side on the couch listening to sad music on day three after the delivery. She hadn’t showered or eaten yet and it was four in the afternoon. Her phone buzzed and she ignored it, content to wallow in her Star Trek fleece jumpsuit. Her phone may have buzzed a few more times, but Darcy didn’t pay attention. She was busy having some time to herself.

She did just that for another three days, and took notice again of her slimming figure.

“Who knew depression holes and not being hungry would be the thing that finally helped me lose weight?” She asked the universe.

Darcy had gotten another shipment of food and supplies, but she didn’t Lysol down her door or clean each item before using them this time.

And she would pay for it.

She woke up on the sixth day after the sweater delivery feeling oh so tired. Figuring it was due to the lack of sustenance and exercise, Darcy decided to make herself some toast. She barely made it out of her room before the dizziness hit her.

Darcy sent a text to the group.

What are the symptoms? Help a girl out.

She started getting responses immediately.

HawkDaddy: Fever, body aches, fatigue

Nat: Dizziness, lessened appetite

Tin Man: Runny nose, sinus congestion, vomiting

Darcy gulped from her position on the floor (she sat down in the doorway when she started getting dizzy).

How many do I have to have before I have to go see a doctor?

She groaned as she sent the message and pulled herself up, trudging into her kitchen. The thought of ingesting anything nauseated her, so she made her way back to the couch, where she promptly fell asleep.

She woke up at noon choking on her own snot.

“Fuck,” she got the word out before she stumbled into the kitchen to blow her nose. After she’d friction burned her nose by using napkins as tissues, she slowly walked back to the couch (thanks dizziness) to check her phone. Three missed video calls from Tony, one from Jane, and a lot of texts.

America’s Ass: Are you alright, Darcy?

That was not in the group, it was a separate message, so Darcy answered that with a message before looking at the group.

I woke up super tired, super dizzy. Was awake for five minutes before I passed out on the couch. Woke up a disgusting mess and had to blow my nose with napkins because I don’t own tissues. So no, probably not.

Then, she checked the group chat. It was basically a conspiracy theory contest to guess what had happened to Darcy over the past few hours. Had she passed out from sickness? Gotten annoyed and started ignoring them? Fell down the stairs? Gotten kidnapped?

She shook her head and looked down at Steve’s next text.

I’ll make you some soup. Drink lots of water and get lots of rest.

She smiled at the sentiment. Steve was really sweet. She did what he said and grabbed a cup of water before retreating to the couch and scrolling through her Facebook. She kept getting group texts, though, so she put her phone away and threw on some mindless TV.

Darcy woke up to a knock on her door. It startled her, but she figured it was probably Steve. Nobody else would risk coming into contact with another human being. Darcy shuffled over to the door in her fleece pajama pants and birthday hedgehog t-shirt (a classic pajama day outfit) and looked through the peephole. She was right, Steve was awaiting her.

“Hey Darce,” he smiled down at her when she opened the door. “How are you feeling?”

“Like garbage,” she muttered. “Please, come in,” he stepped inside with a Tupperware full of noodle soup. “Oh my god, you really made me soup?” She looked up at him with wide eyes and he smiled bashfully.

“Friends don’t let friends get sick and not have soup,” he laughed and Darcy turned, misty eyed, towards the kitchen. People didn’t often do nice things for her, that was her job.

“You’re a lifesaver, Steven,” she spoke once she’d gotten control of her emotions and ushered him towards the kitchen table. “Come, sit with me,” she groaned as she lowered herself into the chair. The body aches were coming in waves.

“How are you holding up?” He asked once the two were sitting and Darcy had a full bowl of steaming soup in front of her.

“Well I think I’ve definitely got the virus. Either that or I’ve got a serious case of the flu. But I got my flu shot this year so…” She trailed off and shrugged. Steve frowned and reached over to press the back of his hand against her forehead. She tried not to act startled at the contact. It had been… Some amount of weeks since she’d touched another person.

“You do feel warm, do you have a thermometer?” She shook her head at his inquiry and the frown deepened. She didn’t like making Steve frown.

“Is it even worth going to the doctor?” She sighed and slouched into her chair. “It’s not like they can do anything but tell me to ride it out.”

“They could always prescribe you something for the symptoms,” he shrugged, looking thoughtful. “Something for the dizziness and aches.”

“Maybe, I’ll consider it,” she took a careful spoonful of soup and frowned. “I can’t taste it. Why can’t I taste it?” She took another spoonful and looked up at Steve with wide eyes. “Is that a thing?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t been keeping up with the news since it doesn’t really affect me,” he trailed off with a sheepish look on his face. “I’ll ask Tony.” He whipped out his smartphone and shot a text to Tony, fingers flying over the keyboard.

“I’m so sad I can’t taste your soup,” she was full of woe. “This is a travesty,” she whined and set the spoon back down. “I wasn’t even hungry and now I can’t taste anything?” She looked up at Steve with a pout.

“You should still eat, Darcy. I know it’s not super pleasant, but you need fuel,” he offered her a sympathetic smile, and gestured for her to take another bite, which she did (albeit slowly and with less excitement). “Tony said loss of smell and taste is a common symptom,” Darcy stood abruptly, ignoring the dizziness to find her lighter and light the ocean scented candle that had been sitting on her counter for a year. She lit it without preamble and then leaned in to give it a good sniff.

“Awe, come on,” she bemoaned, looking at Steve with that rumpled kitten look that made him want to wrap her up in a blanket and cuddle her.

“No scent either, huh?” He asked and she nodded, blowing out the candle before returning to her soup. “You’ll get through this. I’d be happy to drive you to the doctor if you’re not feeling well enough to drive,” Steve offered and Darcy was struck once again by how kind this man was.

“You’re too nice, Steve. Someone’s going to snatch you up one day,” she winked conspiratorially at him. He flushed, and she smiled inwardly. “Though, I don’t have a physician. I just go to medical at the tower.”

Steve hummed in understanding. It made sense for her, she lived, ate, and worked in the tower. No need to find a physician elsewhere when she could get treated at the state of the art facilities right nearby.

“To the tower then?” He asked as Darcy took the last few bites of her soup.

“To the tower,” she confirmed.

“Would you like to go now?”

She thought for a moment.

“Let me change and grab a mask from Tony’s most recent grocery drop. And then I’ll be ready,” she wanted to rush, but moving too fast had her head spinning. So, she shuffled over to her room, one hand on the wall at all times to keep her precarious balance.

Once she was in a pair of comfy leggings and a warm sweater (this one was violet), she threw a beanie over her slightly dirty hair and slapped a mask on her face.

“I’m ready,” her voice was muffled and Steve raised his eyebrows.

“It’s summer, and you have a fever,” he was nearly chiding her and she pouted. Unfortunately, the look went unnoticed past her mask.

“I’m chilly,” she finally said and he got that worried look again.

“Come on,” he held his arm out for her to take and she latched on gratefully. The dizziness was getting to her. “I texted Tony and asked him to have someone ready at medical for us,” he spoke softly as they headed for the elevator. It was a short ride down, and not too long by the time they made it to the tower.

“Short Stack, you look severely overdressed,” Tony was also wearing a mask, maybe two by the looks of it. He eyed their linked arms and quirked an eyebrow. “What’s that about?” He wasn’t one to mince words.

“Tony, now is not the time,” Darcy grunted through her mask. “I am freezing, I am dizzy, I sneezed into this mask more than once. I need Steve to help keep me from falling over. Are we good here?” She narrowed her eyes, attempting to get her frustration across without the lower half of her face. It worked.

“Right as rain, follow me,” Darcy could see his fingers flying over his fancy phone, but couldn’t tell who he was messaging. Her phone wasn’t vibrating, so it was unlikely to be the group chat.

When they made it to medical, Steve helped Darcy into a chair and then stood there for a moment, looking out of place.

“You’re welcome to stay and sit, Steve. You could also go explore the tower or something but I am unlikely to stand up without assistance again,” she spoke quietly, and he gave her a little smile before sitting down next to her.

“Not much for me to do in the tower, what with everybody being home from work,” he shrugged. “I have been going a little stir crazy.”

“You and I both. I miss Jane and her crazy science benders. I miss all of the scientists, actually,” Darcy frowned, picking at her fingernails (a habit she’d picked up recently). “I miss family dinner nights,” she muttered and Steve nodded in agreement.

“You do make excellent dinners, and it’s nice having some off-time with the others,” he added and she smiled with her eyes.

“Thanks, Steve-o.”

It looked like he wanted to say something else (she could tell because he didn’t need to wear a mask), but doctor McCoy walked in.

“You look tired, doc,” Darcy commented. There were red lines around where his mask sat on his face, and his usually fiery eyes were dulled.

“It’s been a long few weeks, Lewis,” he countered and she nodded. “Captain Rogers,” he nodded to Darcy’s escort and the super soldier nodded back.

“Bones has been dealing with me since I moved to the tower. For all sorts of things,” Darcy explained their familiarity.

“You come here a lot?” Steve asked with a concerned laugh.

“I get into a lot of lab accidents. One time Thor hugged me too hard and bruised my ribs. Clint once fell out of the vents and onto me and gave me a head injury. For someone as robust looking as I am, I am quite fragile,” she shrugged at Steve’s bewildered look.

“Well you are only human,” Doctor McCoy noted before getting into professional mode and taking her vitals.

“Why are you called Bones?” Steve asked when he was taking Darcy’s temperature.

“It’s a nickname his college roommate gave him, you tell him doc,” Darcy smirked and the good doctor rolled his eyes.

“My wife got everything in the divorce. I got nothin left but my bones,” he sighed dramatically before announcing that she had a fever. “What other symptoms are you having?” As they got into the nitty gritty, Steve reclined in his chair and watched with interest. It seemed like Darcy had friends everywhere. In medical, in the labs, with the security team and the Avengers. Hell, he’d even seen her bring coffee down to accounting before.

“I’m gonna be straight with you, Lewis,” the doctor sighed, looking down at his notes. “There’s not much I can do for this virus but treat the symptoms and hope you ride this out. You can take this for the fever, and this for the runny nose and sneezing,” he looked up at her as he passed the post it note over. “Not much I can do for your taste, smell, and dizziness, but I’d suggest keeping in contact with your resident super soldier in case something happens,” he eyed Steve up at that, and the other man nodded his agreement. “Drink lots of water, invest in some gatorade. Don’t drink it straight, mix it half and half with water. It tastes gross but it’s better for you. Get some rest, and I suggest finding a show to binge watch until you’re feeling better.”

“Any recommendations for that, Doc?”

“I highly recommend Star Trek,” he murmured with a smile.

“And any recommendations on how to stop being so fucking depressed about this quarantine situation?” She was half joking, and the doctor chuckled.

“Damn it Lewis,” he shook his head. “I’m a doctor, not a therapist,” it actually made her laugh, and Steve was disappointed by how muffled it sounded from behind her mask.

“I’ll have to find one of those, then,” she laughed as she went to get up, holding onto the back of the chair. “Thanks for these, doc,” she waved the paper in front of her and latched onto Steve when he offered his arm again.

“Take care of yourself,” he called as the two left the room.

“He seems like a swell guy,” Steve commented and Darcy hummed.

“He is. He deserves better than what he got, but it is what it is,” she shrugged. “You ready to head home, soldier?” She looked up at him and he got the feeling she was smiling.

“Sure am,” he replied, and when they got back Darcy shooed Steve off for a little while so she could take a bath and clean up.

“Want to come over for a movie later?”

“As long as it’s not The Hunger Games again,” Steve laughed and Darcy smirked, now that her mask was off.

“What, Clint’s favorite is getting to you?”

“I’m just curious how he gets to pick every time,” Steve emphasized as he made his way to the door.

Darcy only shrugged.

“We pick based on arbitrary things. Who ate the most pop tarts this week. Who wore the least amount of yellow. Who won the prank war. Etcetera,” she shrugged.

Steve only rolled his eyes before he waved and left.

Darcy sagged. Walking around and being peppy had exhausted her. Since when did she need to recharge after socializing. When this was all over, she’d need to reacclimate to her extroverted life.

They watched Star Trek that night (the one with Chris Pine) and Darcy stayed sick for four more days. She was avidly enjoying the group chat and her Netflix subscription since she couldn’t focus enough to knit and couldn’t do much else. Steve came by often to hang out or share meals with her. Sometimes they just sat on the couch and talked. It was nice getting to know him better. She’d always had a surface relationship with him. Not in a bad way, but they were both always busy.

When she was feeling better, she knitted him a pair of comfy socks and baked him some molasses cookies in thanks. He said it wasn’t a problem, he liked spending time with her. She blushed profusely but insisted he take them.

Darcy sometimes felt so unbearably lonely and sad, feeling stuck in her own home was hard. But she checked herself and reminded herself that she was very lucky. Not everyone got to hang out with a super soldier on the daily. Someone who couldn’t get sick. It was hard to remind herself that she had it better than a lot of people. But then again, a lot of people didn’t live alone and had their families to be around. It was weird. She wasn’t sure if she should be grateful or guilty.

She talked about her conflicting feelings with Steve a week after she got better.

“I just don’t know whether I should be grateful that I have you, and that I’m not alone, or whether I should feel guilty that I still feel stuck here and lonely when I do have you. Or on the third hand, whether I should be feeling some sort of way that I haven’t picked up a new skill or started working out in the past…” She trailed off and started counting her fingers. “Nearly seven weeks?”

Steve nodded.

“Nearly seven weeks,” he said with a sigh. They were both hoping the brains of the operation would have figured out a cure or a vaccine by now. She knew they were close, but it was so hard to figure out something when you had to be so careful of working around others. “But you shouldn’t feel bad, Darcy. I mean, I feel guilty that I am not being affected the way everyone else is, but I’m still alone a lot. And I am grateful to be around you so much. I have to quarantine for everyone else’s sake in case I can carry the virus,” he shrugged. “It’s a tough situation and it’s been hard on all of us. But that doesn’t make your feelings any less valid.”

“You’re very emotionally intelligent for someone who is like… mentally around thirty,” Darcy smiled softly and Steve huffed a laugh.

“Thanks, I think. I just spent a lot of my young adult life being left out of things and having to deal with them on my own, with only Bucky,” he sighed. “You have to learn to deal with the emotional and mental side of things when physically you’re like… Five foot two and a hundred pounds soaking wet.”

Darcy let out a little laugh.

“Not relatable, dude. I mean yeah, I’m five foot three. So pretty close. But I haven’t been under a hundred pounds since middle school,” she gestured vaguely at her chest. “When I got the girls, it added like five pounds minimum,” she shook her head good naturedly and Steve chuckled.

“I couldn’t even imagine being a woman in this day and age,” he sighed.

“I couldn’t imagine being a tiny ball of rage and righteousness in the thirties and forties,” Darcy countered and they shared a laugh.

Darcy had been counting. It was July when it all started. It would be September 20th on the morrow. But Tony had texted in the group. Some students at Oxford had come up with a vaccine and were working on it with a group of American doctors and scientists.

Darcy got vaccinated in November and was back at the tower (without a mask) by December.

“Jane!” Darcy squealed when she saw her tiny boss tinkering with a machine.

“Darcy!” Unlike previous encounters where Jane would ignore her for a machine, the scientist ran over to Darcy and they embraced each other.

“Can I get in on this group hug?” Clint climbed with supreme agility from the overhead air vent.

“Naturally, you jack-booted thug,” Jane said with misty eyes and a wavering voice. The two women were suddenly enclosed in a big circle of biceps.

“I have notified Sir of the group hug. The others will be here shortly,” JARVIS spoke and Darcy giggled, happy to see all of her friends again. Soon Tony, Nat, Bruce, and Thor were all joining in. Steve walked in on it and Darcy had an idea.

“Have y’all ever heard of a cinnamon roll hug?” She broke away from the group to grab Steve’s hand and pull him towards the commotion.

“Never.”

“Nope.”

“Sounds interesting.”

She nodded at the responses. She could make it work.

“We did it in college for team bonding. Everyone hold hands and stand in a straight line,” they did as instructed, and Darcy smirked. Thor would love this.

“Thor, start rolling in. Like a cinnamon roll,” Darcy instructed and Thor rolled into Jane, hands still holding. “Now Jane, follow. And everyone roll into it,” soon they were a big circle of hands and torsos and giggles. “Now let go of your hands,” she waited a moment before giving the final instruction. “Now, hug!” They were a mess of giggles by the end of it, but with Thor at the center smiling like a dork and everyone else shaking their heads and smiling, it was worth it.

“I don’t know how you come up with this stuff,” Steve commented once it was just he and Darcy. Jane had run off to get a piece of equipment.

“I learned a lot in college, just not about anything important,” she laughed and Steve smiled down at her warmly.

“Darcy?” He asked, leaning against the doorway.

“Mmhm?” She hummed, making her way towards him.

“Now that we’re out of isolation…” He trailed off as she came to stand closer than arm’s length away from him. “Would you want to get dinner with me?” He gave her that shy half-smile and she couldn’t help but beam up at him.

“I would love nothing more.”

[ververa]

The Cure

Request:  the reader experiencing paralysing self-doubt and someone being there for them/talk them down from it? With any of the girls, surprise me, whoever you feel like writing if you get the chance :) I'd really appreciate it c:

Requested by: @welshdragonrawr​

A/N: 50 cups of coffee later... this is what I came up with. I’m not sure if this is what you wanted, but I did my best. Also @misssmephisto​ THANK YOU  SO SO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP!!! I would never finish it if it hadn’t been for you.

Hope you enjoy it! 

Ally Mayfair-Richards x fem!reader x Tammy

Words: 4166

You grew up in a toxic and abusive family. Violence was something that you had been facing on a daily basis for almost your entire life. And you just kinda adapted to it. It's not like you had a choice. Your body did it automatically, so as to avoid being hurt too much. Without realizing it you blocked your feelings almost completely - thinking it would help you survive in the extreme conditions. Conditions that deprived you of complacency and emotional stability, but increased your vigilance. And all that was because instead of love and support all you got from your family was a trauma. A trauma which was so bad that it took you a few years of therapy to manage and get some of your behaviour problems under control.

Your family pretty much messed up your whole life, but deep inside you were a fighter. You knew you couldn’t and you weren’t going to give up on your life just like that, because they treated you horribly. It didn’t turn you cold. Not fully at least. You did consider yourself broken, but not completely. You still believed there was the cure for all your suffering, sadness and damage they had caused. And your aim was to find it.

You hadn’t got the love you needed, though somehow that made you want to give all of you to other people. You completely devoted your life to helping others. It wasn't easy, since you needed help yourself, but you did it. You became a teacher, thinking that it was the way of helping those who were the most vulnerable - children. You absolutely loved your job and your students adored you. You were more like their friend rather than the teacher. You were always there for them - ready to help with anything, because you knew that some of them may really need it - just like you as a child. 

You were an incredibly sensitive, caring and loving person. Everyone always said that, though you didn’t believe it. You loved people, but you hated yourself. 

It wasn’t your fault. It was on your parents, who made you believe that you were worthless and didn’t deserve the same kind of love that you were giving to others. You knew it wasn’t quite alright and you tried hard to change the way you felt about yourself, though, it wasn’t that simple. You probably wouldn’t be able to do it on your own, but luckily for you - you met Ally.

The two of you met at the therapy and you just clicked. Ally knew better than anyone else how hard being traumatized could be at times. She knew the struggle, because she had been there herself. She also knew that facing it on your own was making it even more difficult, that’s why she decided to be there for you. At first you thought she was just being nice and friendly, but after some time, when you got comfortable enough Ally made it clear - she wanted to be more than friends.

You really liked her. In fact you considered Ally a hero. She was a strong woman and you looked up to her a lot. She made you believe that you too could cope with your problems, especially that you weren’t alone anymore. Ally was very supportive. She tried to help you as much as possible, even though you almost never asked for help. You were stubborn when it came to that, but she just kept doing little things, that she thought may help building up your self-esteem. She gave you as much time and attention as possible. She always praised you - telling everyone how amazing you were. It seemed to be a never-ending job, but after some time her efforts finally started working. You became more confident and definitely less harsh on yourself. And you had to admit - it was a really nice change. But you weren’t sure whether you wanted to be with her. She made you feel safe, yet you still had issues, which didn’t make it any easier. You didn’t want to be a burden. You didn’t want your behaviour to affect Ally’s son or her. You were just worried.

You didn’t like changes. They were scaring you, because you felt as if you were losing control for which you had been fighting for so long. You tried to avoid it at all costs.

You definitely had never expected that in one year your life could change so much. Meeting Ally was like a breakthrough. She and her son made your life better. They made you happier, but also very confused. Positive emotions always made you feel that way. You  weren’t used to them and managing all of them was overwhelming. 

It took you quite some time to deal with your doubts about being with Ally. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse and more complicated - she appeared in your life. Tammy - a single mother of two. 

-

Her little family had just moved in town and her children happened to be your new students. You met her at school and you immediately felt something. It was a weird feeling of peace. Peace that was taking over you whenever she was around. Tammy just seemed to be nice. After everything you had been through you acquired the ability of sensing whether the person was good or not. It usually took you some time, but with Tammy one look was enough - just like with Ally. It wasn’t something that you could explain. Going through it once - with Ally was a lot, but twice? 

It wasn’t exactly the same. Ally and Tammy were completely different. They both made you feel different things. On the one side there was Ally - probably the strongest woman you had ever met, who made you feel more self-confident and stronger. And on the other there was Tammy - the sweetest and the nicest soul in the universe, that made you calm and brought you such serenity, that you had never felt before.

It felt good. You couldn’t deny it, but at the same time you felt as if you were stuck between the two of them. They both adored you and made you feel special. And you liked them too. The problem was - you liked them both equally and it wasn’t possible for you to choose one. It kind of felt like the two of them and you were complementary with one another. You found yourself wanting them both, but at the same time you felt like it wasn’t right.

You didn’t want to hurt any of them, because you didn’t want to lose them. But you also didn’t believe it was possible to have them both. You were so used to losing everything you truly cared about. You were used to all the good things coming to an end faster than you would rather and that made you scared. You didn’t know what to do, so you ended up doing what you did best - you started blocking your feelings again.

-

You were spending a lot of time with Ally and Tammy. Sometimes you were attending Ally’s campaign meetings. Other times you would go to the cafe with Tammy. You were always with one of them, so when you suddenly stopped talking and became reserved they immediately noticed it.

Ally and Tammy didn’t know each other too well. They hadn’t necessarily paid attention to each other’s existence, as they were too preoccupied by you. They had met at few occasions, but never actually talked. They were just passing by each other - sometimes exchanging friendly smiles, but that was all. So, it was quite a surprise for both women, when one day they found themselves watching you - surrounded by a group of children.

Ally was the first one to realize that Tammy was staring at you as well. The blonde stood at the hall, watching you from afar with that look in her eyes. The look full of adoration. Ally knew that look, because she looked at you the same way.

Ally knew you longer. She was well aware of your trauma and all the issues you had. She knew how hard it was for you to open up and let people close. That’s why she tried not to push you into anything, but she couldn’t help and was jealous knowing that she wasn’t the only one who wanted you.

You weren’t together, so she had no right to tell Tammy off - especially that she could say the two of you liked each other. Though she came up with another idea.

-

“She’s perfect, isn’t she?” the brunette said standing right next to Tammy

“Yes… She is” Tammy nodded not realizing she was still staring at you “I mean… I… Umm are you… like together?” she asked a bit perplexed 

“No” Ally shook her head “Not yet, at least”

“Oh…”

“I’m Ally by the way” she said confidently offering her hand

“Tammy. It’s nice to meet you” the blonde took Ally’s hand

“The pleasure is all mine” the brunette smiled looking in Tammy’s eyes

The blonde smiled back.

“So… I assume you like Y/N as well”

“I sure do, but if she decides to be with you, that’s okay. You don’t need to worry about it. I won’t get in your way”

“Oh, sweetheart, I know you won’t, but that’s not what I’m worried about”

“Why are you doing this then?” Tammy asked a bit confused 

“I just want to make sure Y/N is okay. I promised myself that I’ll take care of her”

“Why wouldn’t she be okay?”

“I don’t know”

“Are you implying that I’m trying to hurt her? Because if you do, then I can assure you it’s not my intention”

“I’m only concerned about Y/N’s wellbeing”

“Well, you don’t need to worry, I’ll take care of her”

“I’m sure you’d like that, but not so fast”

Tammy rolled her eyes, but smiled.

“Are you going to make it some kind of challenge?” the blonde asked arching her eyebrow

“No. I have completely different plans when it comes to Y/N”

“I really don’t want to know”

Ally chuckled.

“I’m kidding. I’m just wondering… Have you noticed her acting weird lately?”

“Like being reserved and avoiding spending time together? Yes”

“I think that’s something our girl has a problem with”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean she’s confused, because she’s not used to affection… And now, well, she has us both and she probably doesn’t know what to do”

Tammy frowned turning round, so that she could face Ally. They looked at each other, not saying anything for a while. There was a tension between them. The kind of tension, that both of them hadn’t felt for a while.

“And what do you want to do about it?”

“I thought that maybe we could make it easier for her”

“What do you suggest?” Tammy asked 

“Well” Ally smirked “Since we both care about her and she clearly likes us both… we could share”

“I…” Tammy hesitated “It’s not the kind of relationship I’d normally go for, but if Y/N agrees…”

“I’m glad you said yes, because personally I think that this is a great idea”

“Oooh, just lay it on the line and say you like experimenting and can’t keep it in your pants”

“You got me there” Ally smirked “But honestly, Tammy, you’re a very attractive woman” the brunette laughed seeing the blush on Tammy’s face

“You’re beyond the bounds of possibility”

“I am, but that’s exactly what the two of you will like about me the most” she said licking her lips

Tammy shook her head.

“But seriously… are you sure it’s a good idea… I mean to tell her now, when she’s like that?”

“Don’t be a crybaby. She’s strong. She’ll be fine. All she needs is love and affection”

“I’m not a crybaby. I’m just worried about her”

“I know you are” Ally said “And now I also know why she likes you. You’re almost as sensitive as she is” she added smiling

Tammy was about to say something, but before she had a chance her kids and you walked out.

“We’ll continue this conversation” she said to Ally, before all their attention was on you

You were moving towards them. You didn’t expect them both to be there, but you, sure, were happy to see them. You smiled shyly as they were looking at you. You could feel the blush forming on your cheeks, but you kept walking.

“Hi” you greeted them

“Hello, sweetheart” Ally beamed 

“How was your day?” Tammy asked

 “Good” you answered looking at them cautiously “Why are you smiling like this?” you asked suspiciously 

The women looked at each other.

“Because… we’re happy to see you” Ally stated, as Tammy shook her head “Actually, sweetheart, we’re wondering if you have time tonight. Well, you’ll need to make yourself free, because I promised Tammy we’ll have dinner together”

“Dinner?” Tammy looked at the brunette

“Yes. Dinner” Ally emphasised shooting the blonde a warning glance

“Oooh, right”

“I… Umm… together?” you asked a bit confused

“Yes” Ally said enthusiastically “I’ll wait for you at the restaurant. Tammy will pick you up. And now I need to go, because I still have some work to do. I’ll see you later” she said kissing your forehead, before turning to Tammy “She’s all yours now” she said “Behave yourself”

Tammy looked at the politician.

“Excuse me? I don’t have such problem as you do. I don’t lack decency”

“Don’t worry, dear, we’ll work on it” Ally said winking 

Their behaviour wasn’t typical. In fact, their talking to each other that way was a huge surprise for you. You couldn’t help, but thought about it for the rest of the day. You were pretty stressed because of it, not really knowing why. It wasn’t something bad, but was it something good? 

-

Their suggestion or rather offer took you off guard. You couldn’t have possible expected things to went that way, but you couldn’t say ‘no’. Not to them. After all they were all you wanted, so if there was a possibility to have them both - you definitely weren’t going to waste your chance. You accepted their offer, you agreed to the polyamorous relationship and you didn’t regret it. It felt good. In fact, it felt better than good. They felt like home that you were seeking so badly. They gave you love and affection that you hadn’t got ever before. 

Though despite nothing was wrong, you felt scared. It wasn’t really your fault. You were dealing with a damaged mind, which made almost everything triggering. Whether you liked it or not, you were always searching for something wrong. And because you were a trouble searcher there always find troubles. No matter how hard you tried, you simply couldn’t quit bad thinking. You just didn’t want to lose them.

Ally and Tammy got a hold on you. You were sure that you could never get enough of them, but you were worried that they may get tired of you. You needed to be reassured almost all the time. They had to prove their feelings to you, show you that they love you. You felt as if you were beyond repair and nothing could change it. It made you vulnerable and even more insecure, because you kept thinking you were taking too much and not giving enough. You needed them like you needed oxygen. You truly loved them, but at the same time you were afraid of diving into that feeling. You were afraid of letting them too close, for fear they may go and never come back. And the thought of them leaving you, the possibility of being abandoned and left alone again was making you paranoid. Nothing bad happened, it was just your mind making you doubt everything. You tried, but couldn’t make it stop. Your mind was running - the negative thoughts and all what ifs were engulfing you.

At first you had it under control, or rather you thought so. It was easier to push the bad thoughts away when you were working. Your mind was occupied with things other than your worries and insecurities, so you were fine. Though as the holidays started you had a lot of free time and you couldn’t find yourself a place. You could feel something inside you change and you knew it wasn’t anything good.  You couldn’t figure out what happened to you and why you got so insecure. All you knew was that inner voice - which kept telling you that you weren’t good enough and they were going to leave you just like everyone else - was back. 

You kept watching Ally and Tammy leaving together every morning and then cooking together in the evening, while you were playing with the kids. It was a routine. You were used to it and it had never bothered you before. Though it changed. You couldn’t help and thought that they would be better off without you. You were breaking your own heart thinking about it, but you couldn’t stop. You were in pieces, but they didn’t notice, because this time you knew how to hide it. In fact you were holding it all back. You kept pretending that everything was fine and it worked - at least for some time, because it was harder and harder to not let it show. 

Both Ally and Tammy were pretty busy - working, though they could say something was wrong. You seemed to be nervous around them. You also looked very tired, as you didn’t get much sleep and you definitely lost on weight. They tried talking, but you brushed them off every time - coming up with some excuse, so as not to continue the conversation. They didn’t want to push, so they let it be the way it was, hoping that whatever problem there was would resolve with time. You hoped that too, but soon it turned out to be too much for you. The demons inside your head started taking over your mind and consuming your sanity completely. You felt as if you were falling into darkness and what you feared the most was that nobody could catch you.

-

Tammy and Ally didn’t have much time for you for the past few weeks and they felt really bad because of it. They had never meant to neglect you and so they wanted to make it up to you. They decided to try ad spend more time with you during the day, not only in the evenings when you were all home. It wasn’t easy though. Their schedules were pretty tight, so they couldn’t always make it to meet with you and it was almost impossible to find the right time for the three of you to go out together, so you were meeting with only one of them.

That day you were supposed to have lunch with Tammy. She arrived at the settled place, but you weren’t there. She waited for some time, but you didn’t show up. It wasn’t typical - you were the one, who almost always were at the set place earlier. Tammy kept calm and called you, though you didn’t pick up. She then thought that you were with Ally, so she called her instead - but you weren’t there. That’s when not only Tammy, but also Ally got worried.

“She was supposed to take kids to my cousin’s place… What if something happened?” Tammy asked as they were on their way home

“We would already know. I’ll call Oz”

“No. Don’t spoil their fun. We’ll go home and if Y/N isn’t there then you’ll call him”

“Okay” Ally nodded 

Both women were really stressed and panicked. There were so many bad things that could have happened. Ally kept trying to call you, but  you still didn’t pick up your phone, so she called your doctor. She just needed to know what was going on and if it was because of the issues you had. Yet even though the talk with the psychiatrist made her a bit calmer, she was still worried. He said you were doing good and that the pills were helping you, and that was a kind of  relief. Yet there still were a lot of questions and no answers.

You didn’t know how you ended up in the bedroom that the three of you shared - curled up in your bed and crying. It just felt like everything was too much. You had been holding your feelings back for too long and you couldn’t take it anymore. You were fine. In fact that morning you were completely sure you got over that weird feeling inside of you. You were sure you got rid of that horrible voice that you heard, but then, as you took the kids to Tammy’s cousin’s place and were on your way back, it all hit you again with doubled power. You forgot about the whole world surrounding you. It was just you, your insecurities and doubts. You let them win, because you didn’t have enough strength to keep fighting. You were suffocating and you needed a relief. And there you were - crying so hard that you couldn’t breath. 

Tammy was the first one to enter the bedroom. She opened the door and when she saw you she was sure she may start crying herself.

“Ally?!” she called quietly enough for you not to hear, but loud enough to catch the brunette’s attention

Without waiting for Ally, Tammy entered and approached you. She carefully lay down beside you and before you even realized it, she embraced you. She said nothing. She was afraid of making it worse, so she waited for Ally. You let her hold you, you were too weak and tired to fight with her.

Ally didn’t need to ask you anything. She saw you and she knew what was going on. The only thing she couldn’t figure out was - what had triggered it.

“Y/N?” she spoke as she sat on the edge of the bed, gently placing one of her hands on your knee “Sweetheart, what happened?”

You shook your head. refusing to talk. The brunette sighed before lying down next to you. She caressed your cheek, wiping the tears, while Tammy was brushing your hair in a soothing way.

“Whatever happened… it’s okay. Everything is okay. You’re not alone. We’re here with you” Ally said

“And we love you” Tammy added kissing your temple 

You stayed there like that in a complete silence for a while. You managed to calm down a little and as soon as you did, you began apologising.

“I’m s-sorry” you whispered

“Honey, you don’t need to be sorry” Tammy said

“Y/N you need to talk to us” Ally aid “It’s okay. Just talk to us. Tell us what’s wrong?”

You hesitated, not knowing what to say. You thought for a moment - trying to find the right words.

“I…” you hesitated “I just don’t want to lose you”

Ally and Tammy looked at each other.

“We’re not going anywhere” the blonde said

“Why do you think we could ever leave you?” Ally asked

“Because…” you took a deep breath “I’m not good enough and you’d be better off without me”

“Y/N” the brunette began “Look at me”

You did as you were told and she continued.

“Listen to me, you are enough and you will always be enough. Right, Tammy?”

“Yes. We could never leave you, sweetheart. We adore you” she said kissing your shoulder

You offered them a small smile.

“Y/N, I know how it was with your family, but now it’s different. We’re not like them. We’ll never let you down”

You nodded nuzzling up to Ally and taking Tammy’s hand pulling her closer to you.

“You need to talk to us when something happens, okay?”

You nodded.

“Use your words, honey”

“Okay. I’m sorry”

“No, no, no. Enough with apologising. It’s okay. Just please, talk to us, because if we don’t know something is wrong, we can’t make it better”

“Okay. I promise I’ll talk to you”

“Good”

“Can we stay here like that a bit longer?” you asked shyly

“Of course, baby” Tammy answered smiling at Ally, who kissed your forehead

As they held you, you thought of how you met. When you first met them you never thought that you’d find yourself lying in their arms. You never thought that you’d ever find someone, who would want you, who would love you the way you loved them. But you did. You found them - two amazing women, who were ready to do absolutely everything for you.

They proved that you weren’t beyond repair, as their fixed your heart with their love. They pacified your demons and made you mind calm. You knew that you would last together and it felt amazing. And just then, as they held you, you knew you found the cure that you needed.

Tag list:

@midnight-lestrange​, @natasha-danvers​, @stopkillinglilyrabe​

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[farouchelyoptimistic]

Hyunji: Rekindle

Part 1

"So, you're telling me, I should move to another agency? I still don't get it." Yea Ji leans back on her seat as she tries to wrap her head around what the CEO of the company she's under is trying to tell her.

She fully understood what they were saying, but what she wanted to understand was why. She had been under this company for nearly ten years, ever since she had started her career in the business. She knew everyone from the first floor up to the last floor up top. And everyone knew her inside and out. The familiar staff around her was considered family.

And now, at the near end of her contract, instead of talking about renewal, they were talking to her about transferring to another company, a company that hasn't even been established yet.

"It's not like we want you to move, Yea Ji-ah. But their offer is great for you and you'd surely benefit from it a lot. They were formal enough to invite you by contacting us first, and I personally appreciate it." Her boss starts, leaning over the table with his hands clasped together.

"We've been taking care of you for so long, and we would love to do so for some more. But they're offering you something we couldn't get you ourselves. You're like my daughter, and I want the best for you. Even if it means letting you go. Gold Medalist will be established January next year, it's new but it has massive foundations and connections. They're also co-producing a drama under TVN, and they would want you to be the lead if ever you join them. I've heard about the script, Yea Ji-ah. It's going to send you into a breakthrough, one you've been waiting for. This is good. It's hard to let you go, but this is what's best for you. And, after the drama, if they don't treat you half as much as we do, come back to me. We'll have you back in a heartbeat. "

She almost wanted to cry at her boss' words. How could someone, totally unrelated to you, treat you with so much care. She thought about it for a few minutes, silent as she sat in her chair buried in her thoughts.

She had trusted them for so long, and they had never lead her to anything that was bad for her. If they were so sure about this, then there was no reason she shouldn't.

The pen felt heavy in her hand when she signed the exit contract. This was it. She was cutting ties with the company that had handled her for so long. Adding to that, leaving the people that surrounded and took care of her felt nothing more than melancholic. It felt like saying goodbye to her family.

But she believed that it wasn't the end. They were still going to see each other at some point, treat each other as long time friends. They have already carved out a space for them in her heart, and it was theirs forever.

She spent the remaining months of the year traveling and staying at home with her dogs. Somehow, she enjoyed her unemployment. She was basically jobless, not forever, but she tried to enjoy it as much as she can.

Her schedule was usually demanding and draining, sometimes sucking the life out of her. But she also enjoyed the rush, and the thrill and even the sleepless nights and days. More to it, she enjoyed mastering her craft, improving her skills, and developing her prowess. And most especially, she enjoyed putting a smile on her fans' faces. That was the most important thing.

Funny how she never even considered acting as a choice before. She went to a different country to study and finished a totally different degree. When she came home, it came as a surprise also to her when she started working as an actress. Destiny, probably.

Acting was not her choice, acting chose her. Good thing she had a natural knack for it, born with the gift of excellence in anything she dived into. She was a natural-born actor, exemplary in the craft that had grown on her. She had learned to love it.

She was fairly underrated. Mainly because she had started later than everyone else. Compared to others whom everyone saw grow up in their screens, she was still seen as a fresh face, shadowing her magnificent talent.

The awards and all the recognition meant nothing to her though. It was merely unimportant. She wasn't in the game for fame, she was in it because she enjoyed playing. Strengthening her skills, bettering her capabilities. That's what was important for her. Improving, getting better. She wasn't someone who settled for less and provided for less. She wanted to be better, not only for herself but also for her co-actors and the people who are looking up at her.

She was happy with her career already, but the breakthrough her old boss talked about made her feel a little excited. Who doesn't want a breakthrough? She's read the script for the drama they were offering her and it gave her goosebumps. It was going to be a challenging character, but it was complexly marvelous. She always loved a challenge, and this one was a challenge she was willing to take.

That's what she thought about as she walked through the unfamiliar halls of her new company. It was a new environment she needed to get used to.

It was a new journey, she thought. And she'll make sure it was a journey worth traveling.

Signing the contract was quick. The new people that were meant to take care of her seemed kind, and they all welcomed her with warmth. She almost felt like they were family now, a new family.

Just as she makes her way to leave the conference hall, the door opens, sending everyone turning their head to one direction.

What came in after was something she never expected. Someone, rather. Her feet were stuck on the ground, heart rate gradually raising, hammering against the walls of her chest.

"Annyeonghaseyo!" The familiar voice filled the silence.

She hadn't noticed that she was holding her breath until she felt her chest ache from the lack of oxygen. This was what he did, not only to her, but to everyone. He took people's breath away. His presence replacing the air in the lungs.

When he locks his eyes with hers, her breath falters out in a shaky blow.

Those eyes.

"Kim Soo Hyun!" Her new boss exasperates, a loud laugh following as he welcomed him with a hug. She could only stare, watching them exchange hugs and greetings. She swallowed an invisible lump in her throat because just like her, his eyes never left hers.

"Yea Ji-ah, I'm sure you know our Soo Hyun-ah here." The CEO's voice thunders inside the room as he gently pulls Soo Hyun with him, walking towards Yea Ji who was statued in her spot.

She summons all the strength and might from within her and clears her throat lightly. She forces out a smile, nodding her head politely.

"Sunbae-nim." She eyes him for a spilt second, nodding once more.

It almost takes him aback. Sunbae-nim. Oddly, the way she addressed him bothered him. It had been five years since she first called him that, the memory crystal clear in his mind. He could never forget the first time he heard her voice.

What he didn't expect was how she's back to calling him that. It had been embedded in his mind the way she used to call him Soo Hyun Oppa. How it felt warm and comforting whenever she did, how it brought a certain degree of serenity. But now, it felt like they were meeting once again for the first time. Back to square one. Total strangers. The barren coldness in her voice made him feel empty.

He forces out his own smile, though reluctant. He nods his head, unable to look away from her.

"I heard you two worked together a few years ago." Both of them nod in unison. The memory of the ad they shot a few years ago flood their memories. The first time they met.

"De. Just for a quick ad." It was Soo Hyun who decided to confirm. Glancing at her from the corner of his eye.

"Well, if you accept the role, Yea Ji-ah, you guys would be working again."

"What do you mean?" Finally, Yea Ji found her voice.

"Well, he's the male lead of the drama we're offering you. If you choose to accept it, then you guys would be the main leads. So, I really hope you accept it, Yea Ji-ah. Both of you look so good together." Their boss nods his head as he looks at them back and forth.

She could only nod. She was totally taken aback by the information poured over her. Work together, both of them. Again. If only someone else knew about what happened the last time they worked together.

After a few more small talks, she finally managed to excuse herself. Her new boss bids his farewell with a warm fatherly hug, wishing her good luck and anoother triumphant welcome. She only looks at the man behind him, slightly nodding her head before she slides past the long table and walks out the door.

She releases a breath once she was out. She knew it wasn't impossible to run into him at some point. They were revolving in the same world, same business. It was inevitable. But she successfully managed to work without having to cross paths with him for so long, that when she met him today, totally unprepared and overwhelmed, she felt a slight rattle in her stomach.

And now, she was signed in the same agency with him, and may or may not work with him too. It felt like a train was rushing towards her in full gear, ready to slam against her out of her wits.

She was barely ten steps away from the door when someone suddenly grabs her hand. She immediately turns around, the shock making her jolt on her feet.

"Yea Ji. . . . ssi."

She stammered at the sight before her. Kim Soo Hyun, holding her wrist, so gentle and warm. His eyes were fixed on her, watching her as she looks down on his hand against her skin.

He immediately lets go, wary of the rationality of his impulsive action. He swallows an invisible lump, placing the hand he once had on her to the back of his nape. He suddenly felt warmth creep up to his cheeks, shy. He felt flustered with her presence and the way her eyes pierced through his.

There was something new in the way her orbs glowed. It was different from the ones that were blanketed with sullen shyness and sweetness. It was still there alright, but now there was something new. Confidence, a lot of them.

It made him weak in the knees. Flustered. Swivet. Now, he felt like he couldn't look her straight in the eyes. He can't even bring himself talk clearly.

"Uhm, " He lets out a breath. "Yea Ji-ssi. Do you want to go grab something to drink? They serve good coffee at the cafeteria." He tries to hold her gaze, but it was so intense he felt like he needed to look away.

He needed to look away to stop himself from advancing into something that might just freak her out. And that's the last thing he wants, freak her out.

Coffee. She almost wanted to chuckle. It also started with a cup of coffee. She unconsciously bit her bottom lip, thinking it through.

"You know, for old time's sake?" His anxiety was growing as he anticipated her answer. He was slowly trying to ready himself for whatever her answer is, slightly terrified if she said no.

She let's out a breath. For old time's sake. There was no reason to deny an old friend, acquaintance rather, a cup of coffee to share. It was just coffee. Well it was what she thought a few years ago too. Just coffee.

This time though, it's just going to be coffee. It had to be.

When she nods her head and releases a small smile, he almost wanted to jump up and down, fist the air like he did the first time she agreed to have coffee with him.

Shoving the fireworks of feelings erupting in him to the back of his head, he smiles. Stepping aside to lead her the way. She took cautious steps beside him, the fat obvious distance between them is failed to be unnoticed. But he doesn't push. He doesn't speak. He tries to bask in the silence between them, it wasn't as comforting as it was before, but it was with her, so he'll take it.

"Here." He enthusiastically pushes the glass door open, letting her enter first. Immediately, the smell of the freshly brewed coffee fills her nose, making her smile. She loved coffee. It never failed to comfort her in any way.

He found himself significantly jumpy, yet careful. He runs pass her, pulling a chair for her. He smiles, eyeing her shyly as she courteously nods, sitting down as he gently pushes it back.

He basically runs to the counter, ordering two cups of iced coffee. Watching her from behind, made him stop in his tracks. Her black silky hair cascaded down her back, sparkling under the sunlight that seeped through the glass walls.

Just as he remembered her, she sat with her back straight, her broad shoulders flat and hands clasped together on her thighs. She was anxious. She was like that the first time he had coffee with her.

And for some reason, it pulled out the melancholy in him.

He smiled through it as he carefully slides the cup of coffee towards her. He eyes her for a second as he took a seat, looking down immediately. She mumbled a soft 'thank you', her low voice sending a calm chill down the pit of his stomach.

His foot continued to tap against the tiled floor, his eyes fixed on his cup, his fingers holding it tight. He was nervous. Yet, he was excited.

Letting out a breath, he finally looks at her fully. Her light make up accentuated her features, her smooth glass skin glowing. She was beautiful, she has always been. And like she did the first time he saw her, she took his breath away.

He couldn't help but smile.

"How have you been?" He bites his bottom lip, anticipating her response.

She smiles. She's been trying to hold it in for a while, but she couldn't help it anymore. She smiles.

"I've been doing well. I guess you have too. I've heard you just got discharged from the military. Congratulations." She tells him with genuine sincerity, looking straight into his beautiful brown orbs.

He smiles, nodding his head. He had a scarcity of words. When he heard about her joining the company, he had thought of a million things he could say to her. Now that she was merely less than a meter away from him, he had nothing. He was enticed by her presence.

He didn't have this problem before, because whenever he had nothing to say, he would listen. He would sit in front of her, listening to her talk. She has the most beautiful, most attractive voice. And she loved to talked.

She talked endlessly whenever she was with people she was comfortable with, and he used to bask in the serenity and the calm that her voice brought. Her silence made him weary, has she lost the comfort she once felt for him long ago?

"It's nice to see you. It's been a few years since. . . . we" Broke up?

"Went our separate ways." She finished his sentence for him. She knew he had thought about saying they 'broke up' but they didn't.

It wasn't considered a breakup when they weren't anything, to begin with. They had just decided not to proceed with anything and went separate ways. It was complicated, but it was a mutual decision. Both agreed upon.

What happened to them was like fireworks. Sudden, beautiful and electrifying, yet short lived. It was a beauty not meant to last.

"Anyways, welcome to the company. I hope you consider taking the role, it would be nice to work with each other again. I would love to work with you." He says, hoping she feels the same way. It was true, he wanted to work with her. He had secretly watched all her movies, all her dramas, even the variety shows she was in.

She was a gem in the industry, and he hated how underrated she was. He saw how marvelous of an actress she is, and as an actor, he would love to work with someone with such dynamics.

It was just a bonus that it was her as well.

"I'll think about it. It would be an honor to work with you too, Sunbae-nim." She says, reluctantly nodding her head. There's so much to think about. So much to consider. But she was enticed by the complexity of the role that it would be so hard to let go of the thought of playing it.

As much as she would want to deny it, acting alongside him is inviting. He was a seasoned actor, talented and marvelous in his own right. The opportunity is one of a kind.

"Yea Ji-ah." The informality surprised her, making her stare. Making her heart make a small flip inside her chest.

"We were friends. We shouldn't be too formal. We are friends. Let's be friends? I-I want to be your friend. Yea Ji-ah." His voice almost started to tremble.

He was aware of how much she's changed. Evolved. She was already intimidating back then, now she was more than that. He almost felt like she was out of his league. And it slightly terrified him.

His breath falters when she pushes her chair back, fishing her phone to read a message. She stands up and politely nods her head.

He stares at her in bewilderment, slowly pushing himself up. His heart suddenly raced and slammed. Was she rejecting his offer of being friends?

He was about to say something, anything. But he doesn't get the chance because she smiles at him. Small but genuine.

"See you around, Soo Hyun Oppa."

He lets out a breath. A breath of relief as he watches her turn around and walk away. Dumbfounded, slightly, but he releases a triumphant smile.

The universe had been fairly cruel to them, but maybe it wasn't entirely. Sometimes the world breaks things apart so they could grow individually, so that when it's time to bring them back together, they would form an unbreakable beautiful whole.