#way longer than anticipated but anyways

[shutuperce]

something something mike wearing will’s colours during these moments and what it all means 

1. there’s a lot to unpack here but THIS ENTIRE montage. first of all, el dumps him when he’s wearing will’s colours and not his own. this is the only occurrence of him wearing just yellow as opposed to yellow and blue. 

he’s wearing it for all of the romantic-coded material girl montage of el and max, including this iconic gay panic where we see fear in his eyes at the sight of women’s lingerie.

and this ridiculously romance-coded shot of him kneeling next to a jewellery case with will in the frame. there’s a post out there somewhere explaining this better but why would will be in the shot? lucas isn’t, despite the fact that he’s also standing right there. and mike didn’t really have to kneel down, my bad posture king could have just hunched over the case for the same, will-less shot. and yet here we are. idk man sort of proposal-coded

honorable mention: el is momentarily wearing blue and yellow in this scene. she’s putting aside mike for the moment and exploring both herself and a new friendship. she’s realised she doesn’t need him to function and be happy, and it feels like she’s also giving him permission to start exploring other relationships, hence the yellow for will. this is good, this is healthy. 

also, every single garment to the left of max is green or yellow hm

2. same outfit as the first point, but the byler rain scene. first of all, look at my guy. mike “heart eyes” wheeler indeed.

he knows he’s crossed a line with his “not my fault you don’t like girls” line. he was there for all of will’s bullying, all of lonnie’s taunts. mike knows how much that hurt will. below is his face just before will leaves. he knows what he’s done.

but, hang on a second. will just suggested it was dumb that mike is throwing everything away for his girlfriend, which makes a lot of sense. it’s unhealthy to do so, as is highlighted multiple times in this season. we all know it’s important to have relationships outside of romantic ones - those of family, friends, mentors, et cetera. will wasn’t suggesting he also didn’t want a girlfriend, or mike was wrong for wanting one, just that mike needs to stop throwing everything else in his life away. he’s trying to cling to childhood as well. but mike’s response is to lash out with the line - why? is he projecting? is he making a desperate attempt to clear the air about his own heterosexuality (or lack thereof)? i believe he is. he wouldn’t intentionally use that insult - an insult that has been crushing will his entire life - against him unless there was some kind of internal struggle surrounding his feelings for will as opposed to el.

and here. aha. michael wheeler. little man. your girlfriend just broke up with you, but what’s on your mind? upsetting will.

mike knows he crossed a line, and he’s back to apologise, donning a green raincoat over his yellow shirt. this is where the importance of it being ONLY yellow and not blue in this outfit comes in. he’s focusing on will. he may not have been during the rest of the day, but here, with the will-and-mike colour over the will colour, he’s not thinking about himself anymore. he’s put all of his confusion and pain aside to focus on making it up to will, biking to his house and knowing exactly where to find him when he isn’t home. season 1/2 mike is back for a moment and in-tune with will. there’s also the green, to emphasise how he’s trying to prop up their relationship once more. it’s the first green he’s worn all season, because it’s the first time he’s really focusing on healing his friendship with will. that is the only thing on his mind at this point, not any of his own concerns or needs.

3. the grocery aisle scene with el. this scene honestly felt so platonic to me, despite mike’s halfhearted attempt at telling el he loves her. plus the wording of “blank makes you crazy.” crazy. crazy together, you mean? 

in this scene the yellow is more subtle, because it’s more about mike being unsure of himself and his emotions than directly referencing byler. but he can’t say it. he can’t say i love you. maybe there’s something - or someone - who’s making him hold back. this might be a bit of a stretch, but the yellow around his neck on his collar could be something about his feelings for will holding him back from telling el he loves her. even though will isn’t directly trying to keep them apart, there’s something constricting mike in this scene, like a collar. that being said, the button is undone, suggesting mike is trying to put his confusion aside and be dedicated to el. 

4. double date time, baby. mike’s got a lot of yellow on for the iconic hand-holding and lip-glancing movie theatre scene. but his gay ass little jean vest in blue is over his yellow t-shirt, possibly depicting mike covering his emotions surrounding will. 

it’s also the ensemble he’s got on when we clearly see the state of el and mike’s romantic relationship in the scene before. el isn’t interested in his goofy singing, clearly saying she “doesn’t like it”. this continues a common thread of them not having much in common. it’s established that they spend all of their time making out and this is scene as ‘unhealthy’ by hopper. 

5. the shed scene. need i say more. the yellow is subtler than some of the season 3 moments, but this scene is an important reminder that at their core, regardless of any romantic implications, will and mike are best friends. that’s something el and mike never got a chance to be, and i hope season 5 will explore platonic elmike because i really do think they are good friends. 

but back to this scene in season 2. we see mike at his best: loyal, kind, soft with will, concerned for his best friend. unlike with his protective moments with el (when she’s getting arrested in season 4, when he tells her she doesn’t have to use her powers to find billy in season 3, etc), there’s no hint of a saviour complex. he reassures will, but he isn’t saying, it’s okay, i’ll make it all okay like he does with el. he just opens up, unafraid to express his feelings and cry in front of will. that’s another thing he’s never been good at with el: opening up. as mentioned before, will and mike are best friends, and this scene as well as the rest of the byler scenes throughout season 2 shows us the level of both devotion and honesty they have with each other.

he’s got the same subtle yellow stripe below, where he shows up at the byers’ and knows something is wrong with will. again, it’s established how well he can read his friend and how much he loves him. he’s always been very in-tune with will’s emotions, although this is clouded with confusion about his own in later seasons.

6. mike what are you wearing scene, aka In The Closet At The Rink-O-Mania. well. he’s wearing yellow, for sure. and there’s already a lot of good content out there surrounding his sunglasses and el, so i’m just gonna go ahead and focus on his (eye-scorching) yellow ensemble (maybe it’s a metaphor for how obvious his love for will is). warning: very unserious analysis below because it’s been said so many times and is also painfully obvious, just like mike wheeler in a crowd. 

mike wheeler is back at it again, stunning in blue and yellow to burn the eyeballs of innocent californians. and he’s seeing will and el again!! and he’s awkwardly half-hugging will for no reason!! which, as many have already said, makes no sense from a platonic pov. why can’t you hug your friend? you’ve done it many times before. y’all are KNOWN for having no personal space around each other. and if mike doesn’t know about will’s feelings, this awkwardness is because of his own feelings for will. 

then there’s the whole “you’ve been moping, your bad mood is making me in a bad mood cus i love you and i can’t see you unhappy, will baby please talk to me 🥺🥺” shit that goes down while his GIRLFRIEND has just been publicly humiliated and bullied and is crying in a closet. so um. mike. anyways. 

7. honorable mention to his warm sort of yellowy shirt with blue during the whole byers leaving scene where el kisses him and he doesn’t kiss her back, where he makes heart eyes at will, et cetera. i’ve run out of analysis juice and y’all know what i mean anyways. 

8. finally, just going to go ahead and point out that mike is wearing all green when he’s leafing through will’s art. so yeah, byler endgame. thanks for reading <3

love from, the homophobic dog

[bilbao-song]

The Police - De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da (x) ↳ requested by @doktordyper

[doctorwhoarchive]

as someone who absolutely adored Sam/Melissa in Scream 5 while most everyone else was hating on her and her acting, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and can honestly write a whole dissertation on this SO

Melissa was never a bad actress in 5. I’d argue it all comes down to how Sam was written and that she was intentionally a little more stoic. And then, as soon as Melissa had more input on the character and fought to give Sam more complexity in 6, suddenly everyone loved her and was praising her for “getting acing lessons”. Someone doesn’t just improve their acting that much in the few months timespan between when 5 came out and 6 was filmed, she was always that good!

The real reason I’m writing this though is because there’s a certain subtle aspect of Melissa’s acting that I’ve never seen anyone talk about before, but it might just be my favorite thing about her portrayal of Sam. MELISSA’S BODY LANGUAGE ACTING IS INCREDIBLE AND IT’S TIME WE SPEAK ABOUT IT!!

Maybe it’s just the mental illness in me that sees the same things I do in her, but a lot of little things she does/the way she carries herself stick out to me and I love it so much. The way she crosses her arms like she’s closed off whenever something particularly bad or uncomfortable is happening (she does this in shrine scene when Tara catches her talking to Billy, at the police station after Gale is attacked, and in 5 when she begins to tell Tara about finding the diary), the way her leg bounces when she’s nervous/anxious (like when she’s talking to Danny after the ladder scene), the way she fiddles with her hands (like in the scene right after she’s attacked in the hospital in 5), it all really catches my attention and it’s so subtle but perfect.

Melissa’s crushing it as Sam, and was way before everyone finally started appreciating her performance in 6. When I see her do those things I’m like!! I do those exact things too! It may not be a big deal to anybody else and they may not even notice it, but I notice it and absolutely love it and feel seen by it. It just feels like Melissa really put the time, effort, and thought into Sam and her mannerisms to make her a more well-rounded character, and I just think we all need to talk about it more.

[kindahoping4forever]

Ash Instagram Q&A

[itsalwaysforyou]

the black sky and all those lights

a silly little something i wrote for jalentines!!

When Mal opens the dormitory door, Jay is standing in the hallway in his workout gear, hair tied up in a bun. He’s already grinning in that way he does when he wins a fight. Mal rolls her eyes at him. Grabbing her bag, she says bye to Evie, and joins Jay in the corridor. 

She scowls as they walk, her workout clothes tight on her skin. Jay had insisted they’d do things properly, and not in their usual leather. 

The hallways are decorated for Valentine’s Day, making Auradon Prep even more gaudy and colourful as usual. Pink and red hearts plastered across the walls, boasting the abundance of love here in Auradon. Jay’s had a thousand notes in his locker. Mal’s had none. Every morning, she watches Jay approach his locker like he would a target on the Isle. Weight forward, shoulders squared; ready to fight if needs be. And the paper falls to the floor like blood, only sickly pastel. Scrawled glittery gel pen. Words confessing passionate love, or asking him on dates, or doodles of hearts. Jay smiles the whole time. Greets and winks at girls. Scrunches those notes up in a fist. 

“Everywhere looks disgusting,” Mal says as they approach the sports hall. Heart-shaped bunting crests the doors.

Jay holds the door open for her. “It’s fun.”

“You would think that.”

The sports hall is mercifully free of décor. They drop their bags in the corner and begin to warm up, another stupid practice Jay insists on. His top rides up as he side-stretches. Isle rule: never show skin, especially to the enemy. Except, Jay loved to parade around in those stupid sleeveless vests. She’s yelled at him plenty of times about it—Are you insane? You’re a walking target. He would just grin and say, they’ll have to catch me first.

Jay laughs as he grabs the practice swords from their stands. “Here.” 

He throws it, and Mal catches. The weight in her hand is familiar. Already, her pulse is thrumming faster, and maybe if she closes her eyes she’ll be back on the docks, with the wind ripping at her hair, and the salt stinging her nose, and half a dozen of Uma’s crew jeering over the clanging of swords. 

Jay chucks her a mask too, before attaching one to his own face. The mesh turns her vision slightly hazy.

“Ready?” Jay asks.

Mal’s watched fencing practise a few times, mostly as an excuse not to do homework and instead watch her boys wipe the floor with all those prissy Auradon princes. Coach Jenkins appointed Jay captain of the team a few months ago, a role he takes more seriously than she’s ever seen him take anything. 

“Rassembler! Salute! Lower the point. Masks down. En guarde!”

Mal lunges first, which Jay clearly anticipates, parrying her blow. He circles. Strikes. Mal blocks it. He’s quick. Reflexes honed to a sword’s point; learned by practise and theory. Mal lashes out again, just catching his free arm before he jerks away. She grins underneath her mask. Her breath comes quicker. Jay’s blade arcs down, hitting her chest. Mal swats his blade away. She hears him laugh. She growls. Strike. Parry. Strike. Block. Strike. Jay lands another hit. Their shoes squeak against the linoleum floor. 

“Come on, Mal,” Jay teases. 

Mal lunges like a cat on its prey. Jay’s blade grates against hers like steel against flint. Jay may be quick but Mal’s smaller, and she weaves her way through Jay’s blade until they both have the sword’s point angled at each other’s chests. 

They’re both panting. Jay lowers his sword first. Takes off his mask. 

“You came in clutch at the end,” he says. 

Mal huffs, wiggling the mask off her face and wiping her forehead with a sleeve. “You actually get training.”

“And now I’m training you!” 

His hair has loosened during the sparring, spilling out at the seams. He unties the bun; flips his hair down and shakes it out. In this late-afternoon light, his hair could be made of gold. Hair longer than Mal’s ever had. 

He pulls his hair back into its bun, deft fingers making quick work. When he straightens back up again, his face is slightly flushed from the match. 

And Mal looks at this boy she’s known most of her life; this face and these hands; a boy that has held her at the end of the world and the start of a new one. And she snatches back down her mask. 

“Again,” she says, lifting up her sword. 

She’s swinging before Jay’s even had the chance to pull his own mask back down. Her blade slices against his chest, and she hears the breath escape from his lungs. 

“Fuck!’

Jay’s blocking her hits in no time. Mal grits her teeth. A boy who’s inhabited every place she’s ever been. The shadow along the street; a fixed point on the rooftops. Those long, quick fingers that know their way around bandage; around open flesh; around her own hands. Like a comet to Earth. Like an eclipse. Totally consuming. 

And here, where the sun shines brighter than they could have ever dreamed, she is left blistering. Those girls that fawn over Jay, professing their love with the same ease that Mal can hold a dagger to a throat. Jay’s clicking tongue, and that low fry to his voice when he’s chatting someone up. Everything is always so easy to him. He can wrap anyone around his finger with a wink. 

His blade slams into her stomach. Mal pants, the budding pain in her side clearing her head. Jay’s standing above her like some heavenly deity. 

“Best of four?” he offers.

“Yeah, whatever.”

“C’mon. Let’s take a break.”

Jay drops his sword and grabs his water bottle from his bag. Mal joins him, still gripping her sword, gulping down her water like a man in a desert. 

“We should do this again soon,” Jay says. 

“Tomorrow?”

“It’s the Valentine’s Ball tomorrow.”

Mal snorts. “Yeah, and?”

“I was gonna go.”

His words are coming too slow; too considered. Like when he used to talk about his dad, or a particularly bad Barge Day. Rehearsed. A guard dog who’s smelled danger, prowling at the sidelines. 

Mal presents her blade. “En guarde!” she shouts, and Jay ducks her swing before scrambling over to his own sword. 

“Really, Mal? Another sneak attack?”

“I’m keeping you on your toes.”

They waltz around the sports hall, the blades clashing and slicing and singing.

“We all agreed we weren’t going to go to the Ball,” Mal says, jabbing at Jay.

“We never agreed anything.”

Jay lands a blow. They are at the dockyard, with its rotting wooden pier and dead fish stench. The screeching of metal; the shouting; Mal’s heart hammering like the tide. Blood, and life. The roar in her ears. A dragon’s call. Body moving without a thought, as quick as a lightning strike. Not having to look behind her because she knows Jay is there.

“Exactly!” she says. “Why would we want to go to some stuffy Auradon ball?” Jay tries to say something but she ignores him. “Why would we care about Valentine’s Day? It’s corny, and over-commercialised, and a stupid excuse to make everything about love.”

Jay has her backed up against a wall. With no time to mount his mask, his lips are slightly parted, and his hair is escaping from his bun again. He looks just like he did on the Isle; none of his perfect prince act that fools Auradon. His sword hovers above her throat. 

“Do you yield?” His voice is low.

Mal stares at him. Those eyes that have seen every part of her. All the blood; every smile; her pale skin in the dark Isle nights. The boy that has beheld her every action; weighed it all against his own understanding of the world, and decided that they slot together as easily as a bullet in a pistol.

“Who are you going with to the Ball?” Mal asks. She’s still clutching her sword. She could claim the upper hand, if she really wanted.

A grin creeps across Jay’s face. All those notes and heart-shaped lollipops. The giggling girls at his locker. He could pick any one of them. All of them so beautiful, in their sunset-coloured dresses. He could have anything he wanted.

“Well,” Jay says. “I was going to ask you.”

The sword’s point makes sure they keep their distance. Never too close. All touches so light; so fleeting, as if you could’ve mistaken them for a dream. As if you could’ve imagined the whole thing. All those nights in the hideout where the barrier of the body seemed thin, and the world became so small: just two kids who wouldn’t even dare knock knees. 

So Mal shakes it all away with a laugh. “I’m not going to the Valentine’s Ball.”

Jay lowers his blade. Neither of them move. “Not even with me?” 

“I’m sure there’ll be plenty of other girls who actually want to go with you.”

“I want to go with you.”

His words echo through the empty hall. His word is as steadfast as ever, the only opinion Mal will ever trust. Compass, anchor: Jay does it all. 

Heralded here, Mal as real as the vast sky outside. Here, in his gaze, held aloft by trust where there shouldn’t be and compassion where there shouldn’t be and understanding where there shouldn’t be. A home for all her broken bones. 

Mal’s lips unfurl into a smile. This ache in her chest. In her throat. Jay always being able to disarm her. Jay in every place she’s ever been. Jay as her shadow; her skin; her second self. A reflection in the mirror. The line of separation is nonexistent. Like the sun, like the moon: one cannot exist without the other.

[pikkish]

idk if this is a good prompt but put doomguy in myhouse.wad I think he would find it enriching

Right, so I've been mulling on this one for a little bit now, n I'm not opposed to writing something for you, I'm just not... entirely sure what to write? Because the thing is, myhouse.wad doesn't actually really have anything to do with Doom as a story. Sure, Doom is important in that it's the vessel through which the story is told and one of the connections between the narrator and his dead companion. But as far as Doom itself goes, and the story about a man who was too angry/stupid to die, fighting demons and saving earth, none of that is at all relevant to myhouse.wad and its story. For all intents and purposes, Doomguy isn't actually a character in myhouse.wad. So I'm not really sure how exactly to fit him in there.

[queerstudiesnatural]

Area Woman Shocked To Discover: Ranking 754 Glee Songs From Worst To Best No Small Feat - Actually Very Difficult And Time Consuming

[menaceadored]

Okayyyy so a big thing that has been holding me back while writing this fic that no one is wanting or anticipating is that I had this idea to create a second conflict for Nancy with school for the B plot, but then that conflict became two conflicts when I added my OCs and it all just got way more convoluted than I anticipated- so in order to move forward with this story, I’m cutting the B plot down significantly so I can refocus on Robin and Hawkins and less on the OCs in Boston

[kowaindar0u]

watching this video and thinking about idol au again omg ...

I think I really like the idea of yuichi being in a group (as opposed to a non-idol, though i still think he would've been recruited while doing some other behind-the-scenes job) and thinking he would be the type to secretly write & compose songs...

He might even be quite good at it. like ... shit I'm getting emotional thinking about it but ... He already writes in his diary a lot, so imagine him taking that kind of emotion and putting it into a song...

He'd write songs about anxieties, hopelessness at times, breaking down... songs he would describe as "the kind of atmosphere/surroundings i wish to have when I'm overwhelmed"... songs that just really talk about things he struggles to actually talk about ;_; ... songs for his friends...

(a song about appreciating his fellow group members, a song about a certain friend from another group with lyrics like "we don't have to say much and we're happy")

maybe at some point he surprises everyone with like. a straight-up angry song and even his close friends are like "i didn't even know you could get angry" lol

also circling back around to how he became an idol, he'd get recruited a relatively short time before debuting maybe compared to his other members, and so maybe he'd feel/actually be judged/resented about it and knows he needs to really prove he deserves to debut with them, so he'd practice and work on himself constantly ... it sounds miserable and probably kind of is but I think he would never have gone into all this or agreed to start training at all without having other people relying on him...

and oh man... i imagine his stage fright would never actually go away (again it's easier when he has members with him) but god... the first time he'd step on a stage he would be a mess like they'd look back at their debut performance especially and see him like shaking/clearly about to cry the whole time but still able to see he's giving his damned best... like he doesn't perform it well necessarily that day but it's something the members and fans look back on with a kind of endearment, especially as he gets a bit more confident onstage as they go

idk who he'd be in a group with or what kind of sound they'd have but i think whatever it is would have a lot of dramatic atmospheric type stuff (idk if that really suits him or if that's just what i like LOL but) ... like i can't imagine him really thriving well in a Poppy pop group without a lot of deeper substance (?), if not for personality/vibe reasons then because he's just got kind of a very unimpressed resting face LOL

also. can you fucking imagine. i imagine yuichi still keeping his eye covered most of the time LMAO so he'd be one member where like. one video he's got his hair parted a different way or pulled back somehow and the fans go INSANE because they get BOTH EYES

[speculative (?) gender stuff below the cut cause my brain said What If]

also i'm thinking ... maybe depending on how old yuichi is when stuff happens ... an Interesting angle ...

i know this is obviously Very Unlikely irl for several reasons but this is alternate universe of fiction so .

1 ) maybe he discloses to his company upon being recruited that he's trans like "i didn't say anything when i worked here as [whatever he did before, maybe stylist help] because i need Job but i don't think i can go in front of People being misgendered i would not survive" so they help him transition (yet another driving factor for his hard work afterwards) before debut ...

OR ...

2 ) maybe he initially debuted in a girl group that didn't really pan out, and after disbandment he Transed his Gender and re-debuted in a boy group...

Inch Resting ....

in 2, i think like...obviously his time in that first group would have been ... really REALLY hard, fucking miserable, not only for dysphoria reasons but because the group just could not find success-- perhaps their company was shitty-- but i think he wouldn't hold any disdain for like... fans of that group, those members, and the songs they performed together? like he'd still be friends with them if they wanted, and he'd even do reunion perfromances with them omg lol ...

okay actually i like this concept. and maybe after the first group fails he does go back to being a "civilian" and then 1 happens and ... !!

yuichi my beloved

idol yuichi i stan u

[pastelliek]

AVASH! the personification of lust 🔥🔥🔥

[solomon-tozer]

Okay so @ra-scheln is interested in the Crozer & Hickey thoughts living in my brain, so here they (or at least some of them) are! (Because holding up our faves and pointing out all the holes is fun and we should do it more >:D)

First thing's first: Crozier is NOT a people person. He wears his rank so awkwardly, he doesn't make an effort to be friendly or approachable, he sort of :[ faces at pretty much everyone, and just... reads people pretty damn badly. Most of the men I think just put up with this (to a point) because he's Captain, but Hickey... Hickey isn't like most of the men.

So the second point is: Hickey really is not a normal guy. He's wearing the guise of one. He's trying to blend in and just get by. But he is, well before the show begins, damaged in spectacular ways. He doesn't think the same as others. His way of processing things is on a different level. He's also constantly on alert, absorbing, analysing and enacting what he thinks will serve himself best.

So, throw the two of them together, and you get... a disaster.

Crozier barely knows Hickey exists. He's one of the crew. Maybe he'd noticed the Limerick detail and heard the accent, thought 'huh that's odd', and then just... gone about his day until they met in the Great Cabin. By that meeting, they've been stuck in for their first winter, Crozier is feeling shitter than ever, he's drinking more, Sir John has invaded his space, Crozier doesn't trust him or feel listened to/appreciated/valued, and then there's this... guy... in to fix the privvy and holding a dog shit in his hand. He's just some guy. A refreshing someone/no one to just vent to for a minute or two.

Only, that's not how it should work. Hickey doesn't know his place, because he doesn't understand the system he's inserted himself into, and Crozier doesn't really care in that moment or even think 'hey this isn't an appropriate way to talk to one of the ratings'. Crozier has no idea what that interaction is going to create. At all. Probably barely even noticed who he was talking to. He got to say his dramatic lines, be civil for a minute, and then that was that.

But to Hickey? Oh boy. Earlier, there had been the whole Irving discovering him and Gibson thing. And while Gibson was freaking out, Hickey was grinning and smoking, not actually afraid. See, he'd read Irving. Correctly. He's calm about this. He's in control. Nothing bad is going to happen.

He now goes on to read Crozier. Incorrectly. Maybe a little high on that close shave with Irving and his surety, Hickey's now in the Captain's cabin, and the Captian recognises him. Speaks to him. As an equal, no less. He sees something in him. He confides in Hickey. When Hickey works Crozier to extract details about the leads/chances of getting under way again, it's easy. Crozier doesn't notice (well, he doesn't care/doesn't think, just speaks, which he shouldn't have done).

The whole moment where Crozier offers Hickey a drink, and insists, then makes that toast... Nothing to Crozier, but everything to Hickey. He doesn't need to worry about Gibson, Irving, or anything else. The Captain has recognised him, and his potential. "To ourselves." A navy man would know that's a traditional toast for a Wednesday. Hickey thinks it's a serious, genuine toast to himself and the Captain. He carrys his memory of that Wednesday right until the very end.

Of course, Gibson starts tearing Hickey's idea apart, quite brutally. So in that break-up, Hickey loses both Gibson and what he thought he and Crozier were together (a set apart, a cut above the rest, exceptional, etc - only, I think Hickey sees people in positions of power as stepping stones for his own greatness, and those people will eventually be beneath him as he rises even higher and oooh he's so deliciously unhinged). Hickey's reaction is to take a shit on Gibson's bed, and then to go through Crozier's things like a paranoid lover, where he then finds a letter that confirms Crozier was going to abandon him/them. He later talks about it at the hanging, about how Crozier was leaving everyone behind, but at the time the sting of it was that he was going to be left behind. He meant nothing to Crozier after all.

But by this point, Crozier has invited him in. There's something between them. They know things about each other (in Hickey's mind). They're still equals. Crozier, on the other hand, probably goes right back to not even thinking about Hickey until Silna is kidnapped.

At that point, Crozier goes way, way overboard. He reacts viciously when Hickey steps out of line (a result of him not being a Navy man, but moreso I think from him thinking that he and Crozier are equals). Hickey thought he was acting sensibly, as he ought to, and in a way Crozier would be thankful for! But instead Hickey becomes the focal point for Crozier's anger and malice - Hickey is someone Crozier can kick, so to speak, and Hickey keeps giving him excuses by riling him up during that scene. Maybe there is a little something of 'I don't like this guy' in Crozier at that point, but I read it as mostly being 'here's a guy who has just pissed me off, and I am the one in power and I'm going to fucking show it'. Crozier is too self-absorbed to care about anyone else, or to realise that his actions are going to have serious consequences.

One of those consequences? I'd say Irving's murder.

Okay I am reaching a tiny bit here, as Irving's murder was opportunistic, and there's already the fact that Irving is responsible for Gibson breaking up with Hickey, but I feel that there is another layer to it. In justifying Hickey's punishment in front of the crew, 'dirtiness' is tacked on the end. And were the fuck did that come from?? It wasn't mentioned when the three men were questioned! In that moment, Hickey looks in dismay at Irving, thinking that Irving has said something to Crozier. Which he hasn't. The charge would have been for sodomy, or indecendy, or something along those lines. But Hickey misunderstands. The bitterness Hickey feels towards Irving deepens. The only logical (for Hickey) conclusion that can be drawn from the extra charge is that Irving is behind it.

From then on... Well. The bulk of the crew shift to Erebus. Anyone who took the time to notice Hickey's character might realise he gets lost in the crowd. He can't operate surrounded by normalcy, he struggles in the light, but when the crowd is thinned and gasping for breath in the face of adversity? Hickey thrives. And he's left/kept on Crozier's ship. Kept close. It's personal.

How much thought and attention does Crozier give Hickey? Probably not very much. His drinking gets worse, HIckey doesn't cause any further trouble, and then Crozier withdraws to go through potentially lethal detox. I doubt he thinks about very much except the pain and misery he's in. Everyone but Jopson and MacDonald are kept away. But Hickey is still on the same ship, no distracting crowd to smother his voice, he starts to rise, to feel the power he has over Irving, become a source of comfort for Manson, to gather information and draw together those who aren't content. And we're not even delving into Tuunbaq! Because that's also where Hickey is transferring his focus/power. Crozier was weak. Unworthy. But he has still wronged Hickey, and Hickey is going to get his revenge one way or another.

Quick detour here to say that Goodsir is the only person who comes close to noticing Hickey's nature, but he does nothing with that knowledge. He doesn't share his concern, perhaps assuming 'oh they all know what this guy is like' because Hickey's sweet-talking is so glaringly obvious to him. He's the only person we see who doesn't fall for it. (But then again, why bother anyone with something the caulker's mate says? He's just a lowly seaman.)

There does come a point where Crozier finally notices Hickey. When he's sober, they've abandoned the ships, and when he has to because the dance he's unknowlingly been engaged in is about to enter its final act. Hickey was just a convenient, nameless, faceless confidant/emotional punching bag, but now he's a very real, very conniving, and very clever threat. What in the hell is wrong with him?? Why is he so unhinged? Well, because Crozier helped to make him that way. Hickey was always going to do what he could to survive and get out of there, but with Crozier it became intensely personal. Hickey is, to a degree, a monster of Crozier's creation. Elevated and recognised then spurned and humiliated... That bit during the lashing where Hickey has that transcendent moment... Crozier created that. Long before, when he raised a glass and toasted the two of them, he tethered Hickey to him.

And, of course, Hickey has to sever that tie. He has to end it. To prove he's risen above, and has won. His victory is the final victory. Crozier was wrong to cast him aside (but Hickey is right to cast Crozier aside, because he's no longer worthy).

This post is, obviously, about Crozier and Hickey, but the moments in which Crozier thinks about Hickey actually are few and far between. When they occur, they're intense, yes, but so much of this is one-sided. Crozier has other concerns, after all, whether or not he deals with them well. Would Crozier paying more attention to Hickey help? Fuck no! Crozier is utterly unable to realise what's going on with Hickey and keep their interactions professional. And even if he could? Hickey isn't reading Captian/subordinate in their interactions. At best, Crozier could have packed Hickey off to Erebus where he might have been distracted and found it harder to turn the minds of other men. But Crozier didn't think to do that. Didn't realise that Hickey was obsessed with him, and the bond he became convinced that they shared. No one noticed, because Hickey is good at not being noticed, and also because there were so many other concerns weighing on everyone (including Crozier's health and method of captaining).

Even at the end, Hickey has that little speech with Crozier. He's showing off his power and position, while concluding this chapter of his life. Maybe part of him also wishes Crozier would praise him again, and recognise him, and express regret discarding Hickey. Hickey would still cast him aside, of course, but for a moment he could toy with offering forgiveness.

Crozier won't do any of those things, of course. He no more understand Hickey than he did months ago. He sees the actions, sees the unravelling of a man, but doesn't appreciate his own part in it. He has no idea how profoundly he's impacted Hickey's life (and thereby the lives of many of the other men).

Given the length of this, I'll wrap up my ramblings there, and remind anyone reading this that these genuinely are my rambling, and a meander through the meta that lives in my mind. I very much enjoy holding up my faves and pointing out all the broken bits, and it's so much fun exploring how these two interact and fuck each other up specifically. Take what you like and ignore what you don't!

[katalena-rights]

Aisha Chaudhri: Vampire, Iced Coffee Enthusiast, Consummate Overachiever

my sim from @wildmelon​‘s wonderful CAS Game!! this was even more fun than  I was anticipating. see my answers and some extra pics under the cut!!

I am in love with her oh no

Species: Vampire! I’m an October baby :) || Hair Length: Long! Please do not perceive me! I will perish. || Hair Color: Black! Apples are a part of so many of my favorite things, and are absolutely delicious on their own. || Clothing Color: Red! A house isn’t a home without a dog, in my opinion. || Eye Color: Brown/Hazel! Just thinking about autumn makes me happy. I can’t pinpoint exactly what makes it my favorite, but it does have Halloween! || Extras: Art (colorful eyeshadow) and English (tattoos)! They’re both such creative subjects, and I am a Creator, baybey 😎

and, as promised, More Pictures:

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Month 9, day 21

Refined the shading on Knell's bottom right wing tonight :) Subtle differences are subtle, but I think it pops a bit more now and I like it :D

[juniperscholar]

'I should read Caesar as a corpus for my thesis about the syntax of the AcI' I said

'Caesar uses AcI all the time, it will be an easy way to gather data,' I said

and now here I am, minding my own business, fighting for my life trying to sort through full pages of AcI that are dependent on a verb of speaking that appeared a full page ago, trying to make sense of a pronominal system with three-way deixis in which everyone including the speaker is using third person, asking myself how I got here

[impeccablebackside]

are any of the queens or their toms really into legs? simple body worship, grinding against them, thigh fucking, etc?

As with the current batch of asks (thanks everyone - May has gotten off to a big start on this blog), that is a good question anon. In the most simplistic way, leggies are fucking awesome anon.

Personally, I would be a big time proponent to some good and meaningful body worship and praise, especially about legs. I think the process of praising and even worshipping someone is such a beautiful premise. I particularly like the idea of praising related to physical parts, as that would be the first thing I would praise. I would not be able to help myself from telling my partner how fucking amazing they are or how they make me feel. Every little facet of admiration I could think of. It could range from comments on their stunning beauty (which would be a lot), to how their body feels, right down the noises they make. Either way, spending the time to caress and explore another's legs is certainly something I hold more closely, specifically when it can also act as a way to tease.

My strong oral fixation simply has something else to consider with all of this too. Getting to kiss and lick down legs and thighs is perfectly fine by me. The concept of kissing anywhere and everywhere is just perfect too. Showing your partner each spot that you want to embrace and focus on, giving it a token of appreciation with a kiss, is so good. I know I would have a difficult time not getting too over enthusiastic with kissing someone's body all over and telling them just how beautiful they are in my eyes. You would have me kissing lines down from mouths, over neck and chests, past abdomens, and all over someone's thighs before eating them out. Even the effort of kissing from their feet up / down legs until you reach their center would be pretty damn amazing. Maybe even a chance to bite down on thighs (very gently) to know what they feel like in my mouth too. Licking and kissing down / up legs and pelvises is a thing (amongst so many other things) to me. I also dream of feeling a nice pair of thighs squeezing my ears and head while I go down on someone. So that is always a thing. Hearing someone whine in a bit of frustration at the teasing and edging with all of this is compelling to me as well, I will not lie.

Particularly, I am sure it is simply due how inherently 'showy' the lycra is, but with every curve displayed in the most arresting of fashions, I love how the actors look in costume. When relatively little is left for the imagination, but just enough for your mind to go wild with thoughts, it really hits. I exist for how fucking magnificent all the actors / queens look in costume. It is not like the queens (or actors) are little delicate things per se either. Have you see the leg muscles they have? It is no wonder everyone's ass looks absolutely amazing. The power in those legs to dance and leap is not appreciated enough at all in opinion. It is from a purely physical perspective of course, but it also gives some oomph to how much they fill in those unitards (and they fill in those unitards let me tell you). The way their asses and thighs are shown off give me a euphoric level of life unlike anything else, and you can basically blame the legs, thighs, and asses of those in the 1998 and 2019 films for why this blog exists at all.

Slight diatribe aside, my specific foot(ish) fetish lowkey gets roped in to this as well. After all, what is at the other end from the hips? For some thoughts on footjobs, just read this and this little one-shot type thing. This post will not be getting into it.

Anyhow, every tom has a thing about legs to some extent, but it unsurprisingly differs how much between them. Even some of the queens have an deeper appreciation.

Vic does not have a focus on legs. She does love how big and strong her mans is (enough that it turns her on big time), but she does not have a true focus on any one part of him. Inadvertent thigh grinding / riding will happen though when she is down bad in Plato's lap and is trying to take some pressure off before sliding down on his cock. Plato loves his white queen's physique tremendously, and her legs are hypnotic when she moves, but his appreciation is for all of her (and maybe her ass a bit more strongly in all fairness). When Vic lays herself down, he will diligently massage her strong legs, starting from her ankles and working his way up. She is delighted when his strong hands wrap themselves around her thighs, and it does not take much for her to get aroused like that. Otherwise, he gets a large amount of joy caressing her legs when he lifts her up and rest her on his shoulder, sending shivers through her. Plato definitely wants to try fucking her soft thighs while he is standing or laying behind her, so that is a not too distant goal.

Rumple does not care about legs much at all. While the focus is not there, when she is straddling Mungo's face and feeling the way his breath blows against her thighs and heat sets her off and stokes her desire in a wild way. For Mungo though, the love for legs is way stronger. He loves slowly stroking her backside, following along with the curve of her hips and thighs. Taking time to appreciate every little facet of her body, all the while feeling her deceptively strong physique. Short and lean, but still perfectly 'filled out' if you get what I am rambling on about. He loves how soft the white fur is on the inside of her thighs is, and will admire them with his eyes and paws. Wonderfully, one of Rumple's bigger turn ons is someone rubbing her thigh or nuzzling her hip as a bit of foreplay, and that will assuredly set her off. Especially when she is standing and the other person is on their knees or back. She will grab them with force and direct them to give attention to her wet pussy, demanding they eat her out or play with her clit. Mungo is a frequent recipient to that and he can never ever complain.

Tanto thinks each and every queen is so beautiful, and appreciates every inch of them. She is someone who is unable to separate intimacy from praising her lover, so legs are going to be a hot topic. When she gives massages, she takes all the time she can to give attention to the flesh in her grasp. Focusing on every part of someone, from their ears to their toebeans, she works her way through. To be in that intimacy is unlike anything else, it is wholly relaxing, yet charged with an energy that crackles through one's nerves in a reaffirming way. While she does not have a thing with legs, she does love massaging and biting at the thighs of other queens when they are wrapped together. On the flipside of this, the torbie gets very turned on when someone praises any part of her body, and kinds words about her legs will ensure they end up on either side of your head shortly after. That is a treat more than one can imagine, as her thighs are nice and thick but not too big. Their squishy and strong feel makes it very rewarding.

Cori does not really care about legs, everyone is just hot and that is that. He will sometimes thrust against the inside of thighs to get hard or after he pulls out to finish and cum over his partner.

If someone is looking for legs, there are none better than Cass'. Anyone in their right mind dreams about her long leggies after one glimpse. I know I am definitely dreaming about her long lean leggies and every beautiful thing that they lead to. I suppose in the most the-queens-may-not-be-strictly-human way, I wonder how it would be to lick up along the her legs and feel her fur on my tongue. Her legs make me feral. Regardless, Cass herself is not really focused on legs or thighs. She will straddle Alonzo's thighs and grind against them if she is really desperate, but it takes a lot to get that out of her. Oddly (maybe), Cass' own legs turn her on a bit too. She is completely aware of how fucking incredibly hot she is, and it sometimes sneak up on her when she is jilling it alone and looks down at her paws rubbing at her perfect pussy between her legs. Alonzo unsurprisingly will / has to worship Cass' body wholeheartedly. He will kneel at the feet of a queen that is more royal deity than cat and work his way up her lovely slender legs, using either his hands or his tongue. Even just looking and touching her legs is enough for him to cum if he is jerking it, and even rubbing his cock against one of them does the trick too. At the most civil of times, he will run his paws all over her legs just to continually experience them too, and they never loses their appeal whatsoever.

Bomba has a thing for riding Tugger's strong thighs and grinding against non-sexual anatomy. She loves the feel of his skin and fur against her pussy, and sometimes it is just nice to have a different sensation between her legs. Building the pleasure in little crests as she presses herself against him, they mutually rock their hips until she cums. Sometimes she will give him a quick handjob while riding him like that too to share the pleasure, but it is really more about her getting freaky with his thighs in the end. Tugger shares the obsession with thighs, and loves how much of a full figured bombshell she is. He goes a bit feral with his general worship about her body and legs, and will gladly fuck Bomba's legs, thighs, or whatever just to feel how plush her flesh is. He ain't into skinny bitches.

Deme and Munk are both thigh crazy. Deme has a thing with her husband's thighs, and will tell others that his eyes are up there when she catches them staring. Many get to look and lust, but she gets to touch and claw at them as much as she wants. In privacy, she will rub and grind against his legs in any position before straddling and riding his thighs. Sometimes it is merely foreplay between them, and other times it works to get her off. Not that the tom is without enjoyment. Munk craves the feel of her body and touch constantly, and can never get enough of it. Sex gives him unfettered access to her, and he rarely can hold back. He will rub at her thighs and pussy when she is grinding his thigh or jerk himself at the situation. Even when they are fucking, he is not merely idle, actively holding and grabbing her thighs and ass, following every move of her hips to stay connected to her.

Jenny does not have a particular thing for legs, but she does like grinding down on Busto's lap and legs when she is enveloped by him. The fat tom loves legs of all size, but he has a special place for Jenny's thunderthighs. They are much more fun to lick and grab than smaller ones would be. Not about others' thighs, but Busto also likes how his queen looks when she is bent over his knee / thigh and getting spanked by him.

Skimble and AGus do not really care for legs more than any 'normal' toms would. Legs and thighs are nice and all that, but their focus is more on asses or boobs respectively the vast majority of the time.

Jelly is an outlier of sorts. Legs are legs and not much more. They lack the sexual allure or hold that others gets carried away with. Grinding or riding is much better when someone is using their paws with her. Though, she is not innocent of smothering her lovers between her (subjectively thinner) thighs when she wants to ride their faces as Griddle.

[dredshirtroberts]

i did the biggest and scariest of the things on my list (the last thign on my list in fact) and it took like. MAYBE 5 minutes total including login time navigation and page loading.

now i get to have fancy Oreo Poptarts because i'm a big strong boy whose knee is slightly dislocated (it's fine i just went too hard and i'll wrap it up here in a minute) and did a big scary thing and also now gets to fully devote brain power to anxiety about the (potential) hole between two of my heart chambers and the accompanying doctor's appointment tomorrow morning.