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mcytblr-archive · 2 months

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Early MCYTblr Interviews: tack-tick

today's interviewee is tack-tick, a pioneer of the "phistin" ship and DSMP fan since before the first election! below is a transcript of the interview.

Q: What was your overall time in MCYTblr like?

A: I'd say my overall time in Mcytblr could be described as finding diamonds in the rough. This fandom is defined by finding your group, sticking to them and if you're smart not really looking beyond that. I did look beyond that and saw a lot of discourse and such. I had a good time with my friends but I did get negatively affected by the discourse at times. It was kind of a toxic shithole but by God mcytblr was our shithole lol

Q: Do you remember any specific discourse that affected you, or was it just the overall culture around you?

A: As a Technoblade main, it was the discourse surrounding his character that messed with me. At the time, I was mutuals (none in the phistin palace dw guys) with some people who hated his character. I, as an anxious teenager, was very worried it would cause drama if I unfollowed them and my dash became a lot of those long negative essays about how he was an awful person and yknow the drill. It was mainly my own fault and my dash became signfigantly better once I realized no one would be offended of I unfollowed, blocked a bunch of tags, started up my own discord server and focused more on writing fanfic instead of doomscrolling. A good lesson in curating your dash of anything else. (Btw those former mutuals are fine people, we just had radically different tastes in what we liked and disliked about the Dream SMP)

Q: You mentioned the "phistin palace"-- before we get into that, would you like to explain the "phistin" rarepair itself?

A: Now we are cooking! So, Phistin is the ship of Kristin and Philza. It's main focus was on the scraps of lore that we had about their relationship which was Kristin was the immortal goddess of Death and they couldn't really see each other often but loved each other very much. I'd say it's main appeal was being one of the few ships that was just really stable in the Dream SMP compared to the Karlnapity polycule and whatever youd call Quackbur. Fun fact, I can't find the post now but if i remember correctly me and tumblr user Demonadelem helped name the pair Phistin. Although, that was ages ago so I could be misremebering

Q: Was the ship entirely within the SMP, or was it just the general ship name for the real-life couple?

A: It was both. Since Kristin didn't really stream on the dream smp, a lot of her personality had to be based on what Phil said about her and her other streams. Basically, lore about the ship was pulled from the SMP but the dynamics and personality was from both. You could play around with the dynamic if you focused on Kristin being a goddess

Q: With that basic information laid out-- what was the "phistin palace"?

A: The Phistin Palace was a discord server I founded in August of 2022. Phistin was a ship that was basically a side thing I did in fandom because my main focus was Technoblade and emerald duo stuff. I think if you're a Technoblade fan you're legally obligated to be a Philza fan and vice versa. I don't make the rules. So Phistin was something I did when I wanted a break from Technoblade as a way to practice romantic shipping.

Then Technoblade passed away and I didn't want to do anything with his character for a while so I focused completely on Phistin. However, when I tried to find any fics they were either a background ship with only one line or Kristin was already dead from a tragic disease who's main symptoms were lying daintily in bed. While I was writing my own long form Phistin focused fic, Two Birds if anyone read it, I got a comment that complimented me for "giving her an actual charatcer" and maaaan that is a very low bar to be praised for. So, I started the palace as a way to find other Phistin fans who actually cared about them beyond Kristin being angst fodder for SBI.

Q: Do you have any fond memories in specific of the "Phistin Palace" discord server?

A: Oh so many. During the Syndicate finale, three of us all liveblogged and freaked the fuck out when Kristin showed up for the first time in a minecraft skin on the server. I made on of those AI chatbot things that was popular for a bit and the bot was supposed to be the Kristin character. I asked if she had a pet and she said she has a gecko named Tim. The entire server instantly decided they would die for Tim and he's now an emote. The general chat is also named Tim Time Fucker. A mermaid AU that was made that the majority of the server contributed a lot of lore to we named it the Communist Mermaid AU because the server collectively owns it now. Many good moments there

Q: Beyond the Phistin Palace, are there any large community events that you remember/took part in, or did you mostly stick to your friend group?

A: I remember The Penis SMP of course. I never really took part in large community events but I did watch them happen. I read the Passerine chapter where Tommy died becasue my dash flipped out when that dropped. I'd also try to watch Sad-ist animatics live when I could. At most, Id make a meme during a stream that would rack up a couple hundred notes or one thousand if I was lucky A thousand was like once or twice I think

Q: You mentioned that you were also a Technoblade fan before you became more focused on Phistin-- was your experience in that side of the fandom any different?

A: It certainly had more content than Phistin did lol. I was never really in any Technoblade discords or anything but back in the day it was focused on emerald duo and being funny. or angsty. Nowadays, it's way less lively unfortunately. It's not as bad as in 2022 but Technoblade fancontent seems to be less foucsed on the character and more on memorials/remembrance. At some point, you run out of things to say and not a lot of people wanted to stay in a fandom that just felt weighed down by it all. I did leave so things could perk up someday but I don't think that's likely

Q: We've talked about the fandom and how it responds to content-- let's talk about the content itself. What were some of your favorite moments from the Dream SMP as a whole?

A: The Red Festival Technoblade stream was the first one I ever watched live so that's a good one. The stream where L'manberg getting blown up at the end of The Manberg Arc is iconic for an underrated reason. I don't know how many people remember but Phil was highly speculated to be on the Dream SMP someday. On the day of that stream, he started on his hardcore world, then stopped his stream and did his dramatic switch surprise entrance to enter the Dream SMP for the first time. Also Technoblade escaping the anvil and then killing Quackity with a toothpick was great. I've never liked watching Twitch streams on my Ipad so most of my favorite moments come from YouTube

Q: Were you sad that Phistin wasn't a more popular ship, or did you enjoy the tight-knit community?

A: I was sad Kristin kept friggin dying, the poor woman lol. Sometimes I wish it was a bit more popular but the community was nice. The main issue is Phistin stuff started tanking hard on Ao3 in terms of numbers and tended to get misstagged quite a bit

Q: You've brought up a few times that Kristin was often fridged, disregarded, or replaced (on several notable occasions, by an actual Samsung fridge). How did you feel about it? Do you think there was any particular reason for it?

A: I mean, I really don't like it but I understand it. A lot of people loved that SBI angst but also wanted to write all the SBI. So the obvious solution is to kill off Kristin for free angst and keep all the SBI in the story. Passerine is a fic i respect a lot but it also kickstarted this trend to be honest. Kristin herself also didn't physically show up in the lore a lot so it was really tricky to write her. When I first wrote her, it was intimidating because I didn't have many fics to look at as good examples.

Was it shitty and a bit sexist? Yes but I don't think sexism was the only reason. Kristin's character was in a unique situation compared to the others. I have no problem with Kristin dying in a fic. The main issue is that often came with her personality being reduced to good mom and that's it. I'm not gonna call a bunch of probably first time writers evil sexists when I know what it's like to not know how to write her and being scared you'll get her completely wrong.

Q: Since it's come up, would you mind giving a quick rundown of what exactly the fanfic "Passerine" is? (As well as any memories you have relating to it!)

A: If i'm being honest, I only read the chapter where Tommy got murked. What I know from osmosis is it's an SBI royalty AU that had some kind of meta twist at the end and it was very sad. It also got a sad-ist animatic made out of it which jesus christ I'd give for that. I tried it but the writing style was too wordy for my liking. It's mainly important for Phistin history even though Kristin wasn't in it. No, The Fridge died in it but everyone just kinda assumed it was Kristin for long enough it got the ball rolling. Also I think Niki read it on a stream

Q: Before we wrap up, is there anything else you remember about MCYTblr/the DSMP that you'd like to talk about?

A: The DSMP sure was the minecraft server of all time that is defined as a server that was doomed from the start. Whoever makes a video essay on it is gonna have a hell of a job. 10/10 experience would not recommenced. Hello to the Phistin Palace if any of you read this :D

Mcytblr is getting more chill with shipping from what I've seen. Thank God, keeping making Philza Minecraft kiss those men and his wife.

Also SUBSCRIBE TO TECHNOBLADE

#early mcytblr interviews #Volume 16 #tack-tick

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ugh-yoongi · 9 months

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who are some of the fic writers who've marked your experience on here? you don't have to tag, i'm just curious :-) btw if you have a rec blog we want innnn.

i had a rec blog. i wanted to be super organized and also include all the fic i've bookmarked & read on ao3 as well, but that amount of work seemed really overwhelming so i never did it. and then i never did anything with that blog at all, period, so i deleted it and just use my #fic rec tag here. :')

(def willing to share ao3 mxm recs tho if anyone wants any.)

the rest will probably get long and sappy and awful, so i'll put it under a cut.

@the-boy-meets-evil / @effortandmore / @hot-soop — the absolute best people i know. i am lucky to call them my friends. they are talented and endlessly supportive and patient and they only give me minimal shit when we see each other irl and it is not an exaggeration to say i would get nothing done if it weren't for them. i owe them so much. (going to add @bubbleteakittyy here too even tho she doesn't write bc she is also endlessly supportive and gives me minimal shit irl. love u.)

@yoongiphoria / @here2bbtstrash / @eoieopda / @sailoryooons / @gimmethatagustd / @monvante / @moni-logues / @here4kpopfics / @xjoonchildx / @axialitae / @jjkeverlast / @chryblossomjjk / @jimilter / @raplinesmoon / @beahae / @kithtaehyung / @theharrowing / @ladyartemesia (pretend you didn't see me sneak edit this bc i knew i would forget people and i know i still did after this too) @daechwitatamic / @quarter-life-crisis2 / @hoseokhasmyheartxx / @seokjinsonlyone — building a network here is hard and making friends is even harder, but these are all people i have interacted with in some way (sometimes a lot of ways and some more than others) that i appreciate endlessly and support always.

special shoutout to @ressjeon for real bc she was, like, the first person on tumblr to actually talk to me and put me in groupchats and help me make friends. :')

there are a lot of other writers on here whose work i adore but i feel weird tagging in smth like this just bc we aren't mutuals or don't talk that much or anything and i Overthink Things Like That.

another special shoutout to @jihopesjoint for being top 2 funniest people on this entire website and being the best even when i send her weird spongebob shit unprompted on discord.

finally, literally just anyone who has read my work. regardless of whether there was feedback or it was just a reblog, it still continues to blow my mind that i can write things and post them on the internet and there are people out there in the world that read it and sometimes even enjoy it. that's really weird and really cool and i'm not sure i'll ever really come to terms with it.

#is this weird? i feel like i'm being a weirdo lmao #jewel answers

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madameminor · 1 year

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WHY I DON'T LIKE TECH x PHEE: An unintentional essay

Alright, yall, I've figured it out on my end. I think. I just need to get some of this out so that I can move past it. I'm not even gonna tag it under tech x phee, cause you know what, I don't want to harsh the mellow over in that space, I'm just voicing what I've discovered.

This is long.

Wanda Sykes: I LOOOOOVE Wanda Sykes, love her - love her so much that I can't see anyone else with her voice. A 60 year old lesbian comedian... and you want to make her a 20 something pirate captain flirting with a male cl- no. No. Capital N. O. Like, I thought she and Rhea Perlman were going to be a fun comedic, older duo playing off of each other. Or that they'd have some sort of sassy relationship. But instead she's a coy, fun adventurer who starts to join in TBB family? Nope. No. Didn't sell it for me. Gimme someone else, might have worked. Try Anika Noni Rose, or if you need that star factor, Halle Barry or Beyonce or, for fucks sake LIZZO (can you imagine her beautiful voice as Phee? OOOO I just shivered. Loved her as the Duchess, but her as Phee! Instantly WAAAAY more excited about that character.) Not Wanda Fucking Sykes (like I said, LOVE her. But no. Choices.)

The Build Up: You guys. We are all literally writers. Where were the beats? Where were the moments? You naturally want there to be a moment the audience goes 'ooooooh yeah ok I see it'. IT HAPPENED WITH HUNTER. The next day I remember quite a few of us going 'OMG YES!!! Yes, totally ship that, saw the chemistry with Phee and Hunter! Into iiiiit.' I resisted that one too, cause of the Wanda Sykes thing, but you know what? IT. WORKED. I went with it cause it worked. Was actually kind of excited. Was looking forward to the fics. Did not happen once with Tech, never saw anyone go 'oh look at that chemistry between pirate and genius'. NOPE BTW SUDDENLY THEY'RE ALL TEASING TECH AND TECH AND PHEE ARE IN A SCENE AND THIS IS ALL ABOUT THESE TWO TAH DAAAAH! No. Nope. Not how it works. Feels like my favorite is getting the shitty end of the romance arc stick. Fuck off, no. We have all written better.

Toxic Matchup: The way Phee (see dude, I almost wrote Wanda. Thats how much I can't not see her in this character) treats Tech. One of my mutuals on here, @shadestepping, put it perfectly - "It’s because instead of understanding who tech is as a person and being respectful of how his mind works, she tries to force him to mask because it’s what she wants/it makes communicating with him easier". The example that keeps popping into my head is when Phee sarcastically says "when two people are talking its called a conversation". My eyebrows shot UP, like, this is one of the FIRST THINGS YOU LEARN about Tech- his face is in his datapad. Treating him like an idiot (which is what it sounds like in Wanda voice) because he is doing what he is always doing is not ok (seriously, WTF, dude?). Another mutual, @dumfanting agreed and shared how that hit them: "As someone whose been forced to mask for her entire life, that is wrong and damaging and perpetuates the idea that we as austitics are only worthy of love if we continue to suppress ourselves." And it really doesn't have to be that way. I can rewrite every scene they are in together, still have her be sassy, have her show interest and respect for who he is, and still move him out of his comfort zone. I will do it, if I need to, just to prove it. If the writers are trying to give her some growth too, cool, then TAKE THE TIME TO DO THAT - instead we only hear how HE's being taken out of his comfort zone. How about HER? You want to be with him? Maybe you have to meet him half way, honey

Ultimately, I could have gotten behind this if it was done another way - but the way they went about it missed so many marks. And for my man, that's unacceptable to me. He deserves the best, not something thrown together.

I have spoken.

(Ok, I think that is out of my system.)

#kind of geek therapy #geek therapy for me #cause expressing thoughts and feelings appropriately are good for me #tbb tech #the bad batch

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kittykittyanon · 2 months

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if we were irl friends:

Imagine us laying on your bed during a sleepover, it's late and night and we're snuggled together (i love physical affection) and if you're cool with it I would be lile twirling one of your curls with my fingers.

Suddenly I would say the most depressing shit like, "Sometimes I wonder if everyone in the world hates me but then I remember you, and realize that if everybody in the world hates me at least I have you."

Of course you would probably stare at me like 😧 "what the fuck Amor"

And then a few seconds later I would say the most inappropriate shit like the mood swinging teen I wm ,"The things I would let Leo do to me 😏😏" (which would be a joke btw)

woahzaz,, that was fast!! /pos!! and—

—OMIGOSH OMIGOSH OMIGOSH YESSSSSSSS. GAHHH!!! I LOVE THIS SM AMI!!! i was actually gonna add a bit related to this (deep talks, i mean) to the hcs but i didn't know if you were cool with it so i ended up scrapping it,, but now that i have confirmation i am ready to go WILD. (LETS GOOO MUTUAL LOVE OF PHYSICAL AFFECTION RAHHHHH) (other hcs here)

and i love those types of suggestive jokes,, they're so fun — especially when it's with someone who can match it LMAO

song for this: Thérèse by Maya Hawke!! and the other hcs gave me Warsh_Tippy and Zelda by Whatever, Dad vibes but i forgot to put it at the end of them (*ﾉ∀`*),,,, tags: @ziipzeepzop-eez cause you wanted to see it (*/▽＼*) !!

imagine under the cut!!

we'd tuck into eachother, comfortably tangled in a nest of limbs; my head would lay on your chest, mindlessly scrolling though my phone on one hand, the other resting by your side. your hand in my hair, the atmosphere cozy and the lights off, room only lit up by the faint blue light emitting from my phone, it was a comfortable end to the day filled with excitement. your chest would rise and fall with each breath and i'd hear you sigh, the first sound you made in a while. perhaps you were thinking.

"sometimes i wonder if everyone in the world hates me, but then i remember you, and realize if everybody in the world hates me atleast i have you."

the room falls silent again. what? where did that come from? my thumb pauses mid-scroll, hovering in the air above my screen. my hand is still. yours is not.

despite the absolute bombshell of a sentence you dropped on me, my curls are still twisted and twirled between your fingers, undisturbed in their pursuit.

i don't know what to say.

"... there's no way everyone in the world hates you. you're not hate-able, amor." i'd murmur, a dry attempt at making you laugh. i don't think it worked.

"you're loved. and not just by me. anyone who says otherwise is factually incorrect and i will, uhm... commit... some sort of crime to stop 'em." that one pulls a slight amused huff out of you, and relief pools in, atleast i managed to get you to smile, "but... i'm glad you know i love you."

there's a pause, an intermission; your hand would rest in my hair and we'd be unmoving, still, content to sit in each other's company. a comfortable silence.

...

"the things i would let leo do to me..." you'd snrrk, and i'd hold back my giggles, but let a few slip through anyway.

"you when leonardo," i'd turn my phone to face you, showcasing a silly meme that made me think of you, and in moments we'd burst into laughter, filling the quiet of the room with a lighthearted atmosphere once again.

"anyways DONNIE WANTS ME FRFR 😍😍😍🤩🤩🤩🤪🤪🤪🤪💥💥💥—"

taa-daaa!! that's it for this imagine :PPP eueuegdgejdgh it's my first time writing where it's with a hypothetical scenario and i'd have to use "would" so my apologies if there was an overuse of the thingy "'d" !! if you have any criticisms or things you noticed that i have to improve on,, pretty please share!! i wanna improve (ノ*°▽°*) !! ((and about the donnie thing,, that was a joke too LMFKAKAO))

for extra hcs related to this,,

we'd definitely have deep talks at the randomest of times. like we could be eating snacks while watching a show or a movie and the conversation (originally discussing said piece of media) would swerve into our beliefs and ideologies and we'd dig into our childhoods and how it affected us and our behaviors and just as quick as the topic derails it goes right back to being silly again

feels like the kinda friendship you can share anything in. like one of us could share a piece of jaw-dropping, tear inducing, heart breaking trauma or one of the most embarrassing things we had ever done and there would be zero judgement.

where if you're comfortable, then i'm comfortable, and we do whatever we want together without fear of weirding the other out.

"kitty, what's the meaning of life? why are we here? what's our purpose?" "i dunno. but i pet my cat, ate a sandwich, and i hung out with you. i think that's enough meaning for today." "oh." a moment of silence. "... wanna play just dance?—" "is that even a question—"

we wouldn't even be able to finish a song 'cause we'd laugh so hard we'd end up on the floor.

#first time uploading an actual ficcy thingy kinda nervousss 🥶🥶🥶🥶#very nervous actually #who woulda thought posting a blip of writing for the first time would be nerve-wracking #. me probably #eugh i wish i spent more time ironing this out #pinky swear i can do better guys #kittykitty writes #kittykitty asks #very short #the loveliest amor!!

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edith-is-a-cat · 7 months

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Edie's Moots!!!

The ones I've interacted with (alphabetically organized)

💕@angelhairpastawithherbs - Mx. Rose Moth!! - HAS THE SAME MOTHMAN SHIRT AS ME AND THATS HOW WE BECAME MUTUALS SO LOVELY (thats why you are called Rose Moth in my head!!) #mx. rose moth!! 💕

🐙@azulashengrottospiano - Ms. Auburn!! - DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON IS MY MUTUAL GUYS /j, Seriously so very lovely love dropping art in there inbox. *Silently foaming at the mouth with their writing* Literally feels like a celeb followed me back. Tumblr mom/oldest sister skjdnbvkjerfl ily /p and thank you for being so nice to me #ms. auburn!! 🐙

💫@bloody-puppets - My child!! - HIIIIIIII *spins you around like a hula hoop* Yes his tag may have been "father" but those are lies this is my child. Acc snatched up and will help u around tumblr bc you are child. please ill make a terrarium you you goobers #my child!! 💫

@ - Mr. !! - OMG TELLS YOU ABOUT EVERYTHING IM EXCITED FOR YOU WELCOME IN!!!

#mr. !!

🎩@dapperceature - Mx. Dapper!! - EHEHEH IVE MISSED YOU UNDERTALE FANDOM AND ITS SO COOL THAT I HAVE AN UNDERTALE MOOT ILY MWAH /p #mx. dapper!! 🎩

🍬@ferris-the-wheel - Ms. Ferris!! YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE AND BE RLLY NICE AND SUPPORTIVE FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN MY BLOG BEING VERY BLUE, why thank you the rolls will be done in a bit. (ALSO PICKED ME UP BY THE SCRUFF AND ADOPTED ME?) My favorite moot to chew on #ms. ferris!! 🍬

🦀@fryofthefrench - real person. WALKING NONBINARY PRIDE FLAG 🫵 #mx. samsung!! 🦀🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🫵

🐍@l7k-a - Mr. Haru!! - I THINK I LOOKED AT UR PROFILE ONE TIME AND THOUGHT ABOUT FOLLOWING YOU THEN I CHICKENED OUT-- NOT TODAY and u like Basil freaking spinning and shaking. U r like my dad... you have asked me to sleep and isn't late several times. love u sm #mr. haru!! 🐍

🪻@h2llish - Mr. Devil!! I have a fourty bucks, and hopefully the ability to drive soon, wanna grab food?? #mr. devil!! 🪻

💪@i-like-forgs - Mr. Ryoko!! - reads your posts like I read the newspaper, making dramatic gasps ever now and then. I love being to see a little bit of your life. Rattles the bars of my cage, I'm so happy to see you. #mr. ryoko!! 💪

🐎@jangletam - Junior!! - Ken irl -- carefully fits you with a lovely cowboy hat and matching pair of boots #robin jr!! 🐎

✨@officialdaydreamer00 - Mx. Irene!! Picked me up off the side of the road after I reblogged one of his things an unholy amount of times (it was so cute tho I plan to read more when I have time :3!!) #mx. irene!! ✨

💤@vntey - Mx. Leo!! - Ur cool i like you goober #mx. leo!! 💤

🌸@sakka-kyuu - Ms. Sakkakuu!! - PLEASE PLEASE you are so cute and sweet and im a seal plushie to you omg my heart <////3 /pos thank you for existing here bpufvbehbtvhrbtvhbrv you are so neato #ms. sakkakuu!! 🌸

🎀 @shinysparklesapphires - Ms. Sapphire!! - HSHVJKDNVJERVHJBERHD PRETTY MAGICAL GIRL SO COOL HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-- u r so neat I would love to hand feed you (edible) glitter #ms. sapphire!! 🎀

🪷@twistwonderlanddevotee - Ms. Sofia!! - THE WAY I STOOD UP AND RAN AROUND WHEN I SAW U REBLOG THE THING WITH THE PRETTIES WALLPAPER EVER-- I hope you get so much pretty stickers get you arts and crafts supplies and gives you stationary cause i feel u would like it (btw DO NOT WORRY ABOUT TAKING LONG BUT THAT WAS JUST SO SWEET AND I HOPE YOU DID SUPER WELL ON UR FINALS!!!!) #ms. sofia!! 🪷

🐇@twst-om-lover - Mx. Nightmare!! - spins you like a basketball #mx. nightmare!! 🐇

🐇✨@vivislosingitagain - Mx. Vivi!! Can we turn the ocean into tea together??? And then have a tea party if ocean tea doesn't taste weird! (I decided the second emoji for you hope you don't mind!!) #mx. vivi!! 🐇✨

🐈‍⬛@v-anrouge - Mr. Aster!! - You can have some of my blood if you want, fun fact, my blood type is ab so it's not really too useful if I donate it. I would love to bake you something and sit you down to watch a ghibli movie. I really like scrolling through your blog its very neat and i wanna put stickers and sparkles on it. Internet dad. do i have to say more? #mr. aster!! 🐈‍⬛

⭐🐍@weskers-husband - Mr. Miles!! - Hi gremlin boy I'm very glad you are here, post your art right fucking now.. Cool dude please talk to him and be cool to him, if you are mean to him I'm taking your keratin (also check out his poetry account @poems-husband >:D) #mr. miles!! ⭐🐍

🦈@whspermy-name - Mr. Minty!! - *gives you a 10 pound bag of gummy sharks and BOOKS IT for the hills* #mr. minty!! 🦈

🐀@xen-blank - Mx. Xen!! - IM INVITED TO YOUR WEDDING??? GIGGLES AND SHAKES YOU LIKE A JAR OF PICKLES glitters you glitters you glitters you glitters you glitters you glitters you glitters you glitters you (EHEHE U R SO NEATO) #mx. xen!! 🐀 You are welcome to ask to be mutuals! I will usually become moots with you on my own if I find you interesting or we just interact a ton!!

#silly little bear's friends :]

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xumoonhao · 2 months

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i was tagged by @onedirecton to tag 10 ppl i want to get to know better and make a few questions :3 hehe, thank you sm alice :3

favourite colour: purple, hehe :3 alice i love that we have the same fav colour 💜💜💜 favourite food: ahhhh, i love most things!!! i do have a soft spot for soups and stews tho like they are so so wonderful……… mutuals pls gather round im giving you all a bowl of w/e soup or stew you like rn 🍲 song stuck in my head: babaero by randy santiago!!! its been stuck in my head since i first listened to it like it really is just so good, god… funky city pop music is really everything to me!!!!!!!! absolute best genre of music ever <<<333 i give it one thousand million hearts <- this was my last obsession bc i wrote all these answers down like. a week ago and forgot to post it so now the song stuck in my head is dagundong by alamat :3 its so good btw~! last long i listened to: hala by alamat!!! spotify did the only good thing its ever done by reintroducing me to alamat again like they are So Good oh my god...highly recommend their music!!! the way they work Filipino history into their videos and songs is soooooooo beautiful omg..... dream trip: hhhhhh i want to go to SO many places but my absolute DREAM is japan!!! id love to check out tokyo bc its so not like where i grew up - a bustling metropolis is what i want to live in like literally get me outta my small town this is not the place for meeeeee 😭 - but nara….the deer there……….god i need to go so BAD and i also just want to go to a cherry blossom festival once like pls…pls :( other than tho id LOVE to visit the great bear rainforest!!! like it just looks so so beautiful and its really not too far from me omg……. last tv show/movie: im currently watching the cherry magic anime (it is so good and so cute omg i forgot how much i enjoy the story….) and rewatching kyou kara maoh which is really and truly such a beloved anime To Me like its absolutely ridiculous god i love it sm!!! and i dont remember the last movie i watched?? i Think it was skinamarink but i could be wrong bc i watched that early last year and surely ive seen a movie since then…? but also maybe not bc i truly do only watch like 1 movie a year 😭 <- also update to this bc i watched sweet home a couple days ago!!! it was quite good and i really enjoyed the practical effects in it :3 older horror movies really have such a beloved place in my heart ahhh...also in writing this i remember i watched The Thing after skinamarink...i. only watched horror movies apparently spicy/sweet/savory: SPICY 🌶️🌶️🌶️ i do like all these things but if i had to choose id def go spicy over either of these!!! i do like spicy + sweet tho like omg one time i had spicy chocolate frozen yogurt and it was sooooooo good !!! idk what was used to make it spicy but i Adored it wahhhh~

also!!! in your lil tag game it said to make a few cool questions so i will make some <<<333

If you could be any animal, would you choose to be a domesticated animal or a wild one? Domesticated can extend to a wild animal that has been individually raised in a home, i.e., someone raising a raccoon a pet.

What is your favourite medium of creation? If you don't really engage in making things, pick whatever you're most interested in trying :3 And by medium I mean everything from drawing or making music or writing…anything creative!

What is/are your favourite(s) combination of colours?

Imagine your perfect summer day; what does it look like? Give as much description as you want :3

What is your favourite celestial object?

now, ill tag @grlfriends, @kwonhochi, @vampirebiter, @wonhosgrl, @librapropaganda, @honeydewtual, @heartual, @10281, @taengoo, @morgoth, @bixiaoshi, @ghostfeather, @ashmp3, @lovenee, @earlymay, @anglerfishare1inchto3feetlong, and @huiven!!! only if you want, ofc :3 and i know it said only 10 ppl but you see. i lost count while tagging ......... but thats fine <3

#this was really fun to do thank you again alice :3 #also!!! if u see this and i didnt tag u but u wanna do it anyways pls just pretend i tagged you :3 spiritually i tagged all my mutuals <3 #tag games

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ashes-writing · 2 years

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wild one | stranger things ; g.emerson

tag list babes || rules + fandoms/characters || got a ? or req? || masterlist

CHAPTERS ;

AUTHORS NOTES;

Smh at myself. We're not ignoring my ten thousand other wips but.. This idea, to write a popular cheerleader reader who isn't necessarily the 'traditional' cheerleader stereotype, y'all.. I needed it like I need air to breathe. Then the cute but awkward lil backstory you're about to read scattered throughout the first chapter filled itself in and yeah.. here we fuckin goooo. All I can say about this one is I had a blast writing out this part. It was good for shits and giggles but this is literally all I got for this idea of mine, so like.. lmk if you guys want to see more. Reader is the new stepsister of Max Mayfield, btw, whether I go with this being the "upside down being real / bringing back dead characters / etc" I've been dying to do or not. I thought it'd be cute to do something where reader is connected to Max.

Huuugest of hugs and love to all of you for a) putting up with my fuckery and reading - esp the likes, comments, reblogs with and without hashtags. You guys really do not know how much motivation that some of you have been with me posting again and I can never thank you enough, tbh. I love you all sm.

Okay, so two things here... One, Spot the 80's movie easter egg, bc I'm curious who will pick up on it, lol. Two, should I have the upside down / vecna and all of that happen here or no, you guys would rather read more slice of life stuff? Because honestly, I'm torn on that.

SUMMARY;

-- cheerleaders and drummers, especially ones with awkward histories and mutual crushes, they don't mix... do they?

aka, you are one of the popular kids, a cheerleader. but you're not a carbon copy of the rest. you've managed to catch the eye of a certain drummer. what's going to happen next?

PAIRING;

Gareth Emerson x Popular!Cheerleader Fem reader.

{ aside from having female parts + outfit descriptions, there is no physical description given of reader so knock yourselves out here.}

WARNINGS;

underage drinking, body issues briefly mentioned, swearing, assorted teenage fuckery (skipping, possibly fights, sneaking out of the house and sneaking into bars), vomit is briefly mentioned in this chapter, jason carver existing, who knows what else.

TAGLIST;

The only people on my taglist for Stranger Things currently are listed below. If you’d like to be and you aren’t, please go add yourself via the link at the very top of the post.

@ALLELITESMUT

@AURUMBELIS

@ARIES-ARCADE

@COLE22ANN

@HCLOANGCLS

@HEYAITSKLAUDIA

@ICEQUEEN1371

@KRYS-ORION

@LETSBEDRAGONSTOGETHER

@MUSICHEALSSCARS

@SCOOBIESSNACKS

@SUITS-AND-SMIRKS

OTHER STUFF;

Set in the summer leading up to S4. Max Mayfield has a stepsister so this implies that Neil and her mom split and depending on whether I do this as another slice of life story or not (i haven't decided just yet) Billy may or may not crop up / become a part of this either way. Just so we're all clear, Gareth -and Jeff because he can't graduate without bestie, can he?, have been aged up to 18. Everyone is of legal age for any potential shenanigans that may occur within.

“Okay, I’ve got one.” your best friend Emma glances up, green eyes darting around the pool before fixing her gaze on you. The smirk on her face doesn’t go missed. “Gareth Emerson... On a scale of 1 to 10, how fuckable?”

You rub your forehead, wiping away the blazing hot sun overhead. “We’re cheer zombies now, Em. You know that’s frowned upon… Sides,” you sigh, “Remember when I did try to go for it? Remember what happened? Because I sure as shit haven’t forgotten. Kind of why I avoid him at all costs now, remember?” and you go quiet for a few seconds before answering quietly, "10. He is absolutely a ten. I mean..." you gesture to where he stands in the water, playing with his sisters, "Look at how fucking sweet he is, he's so gentle with them. And he's hot, there's that.."

“Oh come on… all you did was throw up on the guy.” Emma shrugs mildly, glancing in the direction of Gareth Emerson, known freak and drummer for the band Corroded Coffin. The boy you had a crush on in seventh grade. The boy she still catches you staring at now and then. She loves to tease you about your little moment of panic, but honestly, she just thinks you’d look so damn cute together. She laughs when you give the answer she figured you'd say and she nods. "Okay, so you'd fuck him."

“Em, we were practically glued to each other in the closet that night til I went and did that then bolted... I’d think it kinda scarred us both?” you cringe as you say it and you shake your head. “I still want to die, okay? I just.. I got nervous, I’d never kissed a boy and then the bottle lands on him and you know how much I liked him then. “ you laugh and shake your head at yourself. Feels like a lifetime ago. When she asks if you'd fuck him, you bite your lip and glance his way again, staring just a little too long. Distracted. Taking him in. And finally, you answer. "He could definitely fuck me." as you fan yourself and tear your eyes off of Gareth Emerson to glance over at your best friend.

“Speaking of scarring… Here comes Carver. Pretend to be happy to worship the idiot king. We can’t have the rest of the girls figuring out we haven’t been swapped out for a pod person yet. I mean it.. On your best behavior, woman!” Emma nods in the direction of Jason Carver and his two best friends, Andy and Patrick and she laughs, because she knows that best behavior is an impossible task for you, especially when it comes to Jason and his friends or any of the other girls on your cheerleading squad.

You smirk. “I make no promises, Em.” you mouth as Jason spots you both lounging and makes a beeline for the side of the pool you happen to be sitting in lounge chairs on.

“Hey girls.” Jason plops himself down between your chairs, drawing his knees up and draping muscular arms around them. You roll your eyes and say nothing.

Emma does the same. If Patrick had wandered over, she’d have been all over it. But there’s something that you both agree is inherently creepy about Jason Carver.

“How’s summer so far? Excited to get back and cheer our team to victory, huh?” Jason tries again, a hint of annoyance edging into his tone because you’re both ignoring him and he does not like being ignored.

You pull yourself to a sitting position and nod to the blood red towel with the white Playboy logo that he’s currently parked his ass on top of. “You’re sitting on my towel, my cigarettes and my tanning oil, idiot.”

“Sorry.” Jason’s all plastic grins as he gazes at you and there’s this lewd gleam in his eyes that makes you want to vomit all over him -or alternately, claw out his eyes with your press on nails. “Y’know… you could really do with more lotion, sweetheart.” he suggests, reaching for the bottle of sunscreen near him. “You’re starting to burn.”

“Ah ah!” you’re loud when you say it while shrinking back as Jason moves just a little closer to your chair, “Did I give you permission to come closer, Carver? We’ve had the discussion about boundaries how many times now?”

Jason rolls his eyes. “Y’know, I have friends on your team and all it’ll take is one word from me.. Maybe you two should do a better job fitting in, hm? Just something t’ think about. Have a good afternoon, ladies.” and he pulls himself up off the hot concrete, walking away.

“Did he seriously just hint he’d get us thrown off the team? For not kissing his ass like the other girls?” Emma’s gaping, glaring at his retreating back. You smirk and shrug. “Fuck ‘em. I mean this is senior year, Em. Do we really need to be cheer zombies yet again?”

“One, that outfit makes me look fucking hot and it’s a one way ticket to all the cock I can handle... Two, if we abandon ship now, we’re only showing them they really are better than us which we both know is not true and three, hello? The parties we won’t get invited to?” Emma’s little speech has you side-eyeing her. You snort in laughter and you shrug it off, but the idea takes hold for a second time since summer starting and as you lie there, marinading in the strongest suntan oil the local tanning bed sells, you find yourself wondering all over again… what if you did say fuck being popular? Because honestly, you don’t really care either way. School is just school. You’re not subscribing to the whole “ it will matter how popular you were” crap because you don’t really give a damn as long as you have fun. Live your life.

The only reason you even made the damn squad to begin with is because you knew the stunts, you’re loud and you happen to be really flexible for some reason. If not for those three things, you have absolutely no doubt in your mind, you would’ve never made the cut.

And across the pool, the laughter of Gareth Emerson’s two little sisters rings out, causing you to glance up and in that direction over the rim of your sunglasses, a soft smile playing at your lips as you watch him let his sisters use his body as a jungle gym and laugh about it.

“Wish that was you right about now, hm?” Emma taunts quietly, flashing a smirk at you.

You flip Emma off wordlessly and pull yourself up off the lounge chair, holding out a hand to her. She tosses you the baggy black Billy Idol shirt you were wearing over your favorite little red swimsuit and you pull on your favorite cut offs. “The ice cream truck is out in the parking lot, c’mon let’s goooooo.” you’re practically bouncing and grinning and Emma laughs, nodding. “I could go for a blue bomb.”

“Last one to the truck has to be DD tonight when we’re out and about.” you call out to her as you cheat and start to rush towards the chain link fence after pulling on your favorite pair of red pull on boots -that you totally didn’t become inspired to buy after being suckered into seeing the lead girl in a movie sometime around tenth grade but have since become a huge part of your wardrobe and your new ‘persona’.

Just as you’re out in the parking lot, your new step sister rushes up behind you, her skateboard skidding to a stop as she kicks it up and tucks it beneath her arm.

“You’re getting ice cream too?” Max Mayfield asks, nodding towards the stopped ice cream truck.

“Mhm. You want anything, little red?” you ask, giving her boyfriend Lucas a warm smile and grinning at Lucas’ little sister Erica. “What about you two?” you nod to the Sinclairs.

“I’m good, thanks though.” Lucas politely declines because they’re sold out of his usual. Erica starts to speak up but Lucas gives her a warning look. You laugh. “You want some of those little dots?” and the 11 year old nods, sticking her tongue out at Lucas, “She likes me.” Erica asserts. Max laughs and nods to a new addition to the board tacked to the truck. “They’ve got snow cones now.”

“Oooh. Do you want tiger blood?” you ask, tapping your chin thoughtfully. “I’m either gettin that or bubblegum.”

Max grins and nods. It’s not a real grin, you haven’t seen one of those out of her as long as you’ve known her, but.. It is a grin. “Bubblegum, I think.” Max answers and you give her a thumbs up. “Bubblegum.” she confirms a second later after thinking it over. You laugh and nod. “I’m gonna get tiger blood.” you answer, nudging her.

You happen to glance back just in time to see Gareth emerge through the gates, one sister holding his hand and the other snuggled up to him as he carries her across the lot on his hip. Lucas waves him over and you’re quick to face the front. “Shit, fuck, shit.” you mumble.

Max snickers quietly. “It’s just Gareth. He lives down the street from Lucas. They played DnD together earlier this summer, I think.” she shrugs, gazing up at you with your flushed face and her brow raised at it.

“Yeah, well Gareth also happens to be the guy I threw up all over, Max.” you cringe as you say it and she gapes, blue eyes widening almost comically. “Wait… Him? He’s the one you were telling me about that night I had the nightmare and came into your room?”

“Him.” you drawl out the word. “I uh… kind of avoid him as much as possible now. I mean, I threw up all over him and blew what could’ve been my dream first kiss back then, fucks sake…”

“Because she’s somehow both a daredevil and a little chicken shit.” Emma taunts as she turns around and smirks.

You can feel someone staring but knowing that Gareth is literally right behind you in the line almost and that with your lousy luck it’s probably just Jason Carver, the creepy asshole you and Emma just can’t seem to get rid of despite him having a glrl already, you do not dare turn around. Nope, not happening.

You let out a ragged breath when it’s finally time for you to order. You rattle off your order as Lucas and Gareth continue to talk quietly amongst themselves.

When your snow cones are ready, you take yours and hold the one you got Max out to her. Then you hand the little bowl of dots and a spoon out to Erica.

“You know her, Sinclair?” Gareth nods to you and swallows hard as his eyes roam your body. He finally manages to tear his eyes off and he gazes at the lanky teen boy from down the street.

“Yeah! She babysits my youngest sister sometimes, man. She’s Max’s new stepsister too.” Lucas shrugs and laughs.

“Wait.. so she’s the one you had to help in the house because she was literally off her tits drunk and started an argument with the front door?” Gareth snickers quietly. Lucas laughs and glances at you, “Mhm. She’s kind of a handful, man.”

And he wonders to himself when this happened because you used to be quiet and sweet. Real shy. He ultimately shrugs it off though, because you’re one of the popular kids now and about the only time any of you speak to him or any of his friends is if your friends are bullying his friends. And you haven’t even looked at him since back in middle school, the night of some classmate’s birthday party.

But he does notice you. He never stopped, really. And he does enjoy pep rally days, watching you roam the halls of Hawkins High in that little green and orange uniform with those loud red boots you started wearing back in tenth grade and you now wear with practically everything. And the one time you and your friend Emma wore ripped fishnets beneath the uniform for a Halloween pep rally, ugh… He couldn’t take his eyes off you for the rest of the day and his focus was completely fucked and that carried over into a practice session in his garage for the band that night.

It’s been haunting his mind for a while now, he was thisclose to having you as his first kiss back then. It would have been peak for him because honestly, he’s had a huge crush on you for years. He just never went for it -and still doesn't, because he didn’t think he had a chance. And then, the night you were sent into a dingy basement closet during your first ever game of seven in heaven and you threw up on him and bolted, he kind of got the message loud and clear. The thought of kissing him was enough to make you literally lose your lunch. So he keeps a wide berth.

He spots Jason Carver approaching and his entire body tenses up. He swears under his breath and pulls the sister standing at his side as close as he can get her to him.

Jason makes his way over to you and taps your shoulder and you whirl around, a hand on your hip and an annoyed look clearly written on your face.

You scowl up at Jason and laugh while shaking your head. When he steps a little closer, you gently shove him back. “There you go again, Carver. Am I gonna have t’ knock you stupid, buddy?” you say it in the friendliest tone, you’re even smiling as you say it, a scolding hint edging into your voice as you continue to drawl, “ I told you, stop gettin so close, idiot. Do I need to say it slower or somethin?” you say it cheerfully, you’re even giggling as the words leave your mouth and when he gives you a bit of an angry look, you roll your eyes.

“Andy wants t’ know if you’re coming out to the carnival later.” Jason backs up, but he’s visibly irritated at being told off by you yet again. It’s something he clearly should be used to by now but he hates the word no. Or any variation. As he stares down at you intently and scowls at the blood red face of Billy Idol printed on the front of your shirt, he waits on an answer.

“Probably after I play a few rounds of darts at the Hideout. If I feel like it, that is.” you shrug, gazing over at Jason’s pet idiot as he leans on the gate, giving him a sarcastic wave. “Why?”

“He really likes you. I mean he really, really likes you.” Jason is saying it in this coaxing way, it’s almost as if he’s trying to charm you into going along with what he wants you to do. You double over howling in laughter, even snorting a little. “No. Nope. No thanks, I’m all good.”

“Oh come on! I already said I’d go with Patrick.” Emma pleads. You laugh. “Yeah, but see, you like Patrick. I can’t stand Andy, I don’t do things I don’t wanna.” you smirk when Jason’s fist clenches at his side. “And no amount of threat is gonna make me either, Carver. Take a hike.”

“Ya know, he’s going to State next year on a full athletic scholarship.. Right? Being his girl would be huge for anybody, especially you. You’re the only girl on the squad left single and with the reputation you already have, sweetheart… They talk, ya know. Chrissy tells me everything because it bothers her when they say things about you. She thinks you're a nice girl, y'know... I’m just trying to help you fit in.” Jason says it so mild and calm, with the sweetest grin.

“Oh my gosh, do I fall at your feet now? You’re trying to help poor widdle, defenseless me, aw…” you laugh quietly and give him the same mild and calm look he’s giving you as you drag a hand through your hair. “Do I look like I want your help?”

“Okay, fine. Just trying to be a good friend. Y’know, you’re a real bitch, sweetheart.” Jason starts to walk off and you laugh and call out after him, “Thank you, Carver. I’ll take that as flattery.”

Gareth has just stood there, watching the whole thing unfold.

Lucas snickers quietly as he gapes at your now turned back. “She’s only on cheer in the first place because she’s pretty much a human bendy straw. That’s what Max told me, anyway.”

Gareth nods. “Yeah.” he remembers watching you put a leg behind your head in the back of the classroom in fourth or fifth grade because one of the girls you were friends with dared you to do it and he chuckles quietly, shaking his head, making soft curls bounce just a little.

He lets go of his little sister’s hand for just one second to scratch his nose and she’s tugging on the bottom of your cutoffs and he wants to simply vanish in that moment. He tenses up and he’s watching the situation intently, frozen because while he knows he needs to grab her so she doesn’t bother you, his brain and body simply won’t allow it. And deep down, parts of him are just waiting on you to be rude or dismissive or even ignore his little sister outright so that maybe he finally has proof positive that he’s right and you really are one of the popular kids and you were repulsed the night you threw up on him.

You feel a tug to your cut offs.

You turn and glance down to find a little girl standing there with curls similar to the ones on Gareth Emerson’s head. You smile at her and bite your lip. “What’s up, sweetheart?” you bend down to her level so you are eye to eye with the little girl. “Your boots are pretty.” she grins when she says it, tilting her head so that all those pretty little curls fall to one side a bit.

You laugh softly. “You’re a little cutie.” you boop her nose as you tell her and you notice that her sandals are on the wrong feet so you laugh softly and sit down on the pavement, holding your arms up to her. “C’mere, cutie. You’ve got those shoes on all sorts of wrong. I’ll fix it.”

The little girl grins and sits down on your legs and you swap her shoes.

Gareth watches you with his little sister and he grins to himself a little. On the one hand, he’s relieved because you weren’t mean or anything. On the other, this is bad news for him because that stupid little crush that he thought he forgot about forever ago? It’s starting to come back, little by little. Especially after watching you handle Jason Carver the way you did.

Lucas wants to die laughing as he watches the intense internal struggle play out in the facial expression of his neighbor. “You good, Emerson?”

“Yeah. Do you think you could uh…” he nods to where his little sister stands and gives Lucas a pleading look. And after teasing Gareth for a second, he grabs up the little girl, making her laugh as he stands her on her feet beside Gareth again. “It wasn’t that hard, Emerson.” Lucas taunts, smirking at the older boy. “Why are you wearing a shirt at the pool anyway, man? It’s hot as hell out here.”

It’s a question Gareth refuses to answer because the answer is obvious. He doesn’t want to take off his shirt because he’s not comfortable with the pudge he has. He hates it, honestly. It’s one of the things that bothers him most, the chub to his cheeks being right in line behind that. Eddie or Jeff get girls' numbers at shows. Even Grant's hooked up with someone before. When it comes to him, the girls all either ignore him or think he’s just some annoying kid because thanks to his cheeks and the fact that he's not quite as tall as his friends, he looks a lot younger than 18. It used to hurt a lot more than it does now. Now he’s just resigned himself to living with it. But he’s not near comfortable enough in his own skin to shed his shirt at the pool. If not for the heat and his sisters begging him to join in and swim with him this time, he’d probably have worn jeans again too.

You glance in Gareth’s direction and as your cheeks burn hot, you manage a smile and a little wave while slurping your snow cone through a straw. “Your sister’s a little cutie, man.” you’re surprised you got the words out. Gareth fluffs her hair and smiles. “Yeah, don’t let it fool you. She uses it to her advantage.” he laughs as he says it, glancing down at her and then back up at you.

You glance at the little girl and shake your head. “Don’t lie! She’s a little angel, she has to be.”

And as you turn to face the front, you feel just a little better. Relieved, even. You finally managed to say two coherent words to the boy you had such an intense crush on back in seventh grade that you threw up all over him when you finally had a chance to kiss him. You really feel like you’ve conquered something.

Only, you have not the first clue what you’ve just started…

#gareth emerson #gareth the great #gareth emerson imagine #gareth emerson fanfiction #gareth emerson fanfic #gareth emerson x reader #gareth emerson x fem!reader #gareth emerson x reader imagine #gareth emerson x fem!reader imagine

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helianskies · 5 months

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reflecting on my 2023 in this fandom, i wanted to share some observations, reflections and projections for 2024. it's a little mix of positive and negative stuff so, and as this will be something mostly only mutuals will read (if at all), i just wanted to give you that heads up. i have some bits to get off my chest.

so, to start with, some little observations about myself as a writer:

i tag it 'nationverse' because i don't tend to write nationverse (the odd bit of historical, but not consistently), and i think it's useful to signpost to my readers 'oh btw they are actually nations in this one, in case that's not what you want to read today'. that is okay.

i will always call it 'engspa' to distinguish it from 'spuk' because i have a preferred dynamic for them and i grew up in a fandom space that tagged things as such to help readers know what they were getting into. that is okay.

i prefer having a ficlet collection to posting small works separately because it helps me manage my fics, see what i have and haven't done, navigate my profile, keep the request fics in one place, and maintain my drive to write small things compared to posting them all separately. that is okay.

i block people in order to curate my online enviroment, to avoid topics or content i'm not interested in or that i don't want to be in my happy space, and to manage my own emotions - and i am allowed to do so. that is okay.

i don't like every ship under the sun and so won't fulfil every request or suggestion i receive into my inbox, no matter how many times i am asked to. that is okay.

i just feel a need to address these things that have cropped up in my year. at a few points i've felt like a 'bad writer' for doing certain things or have been made to feel like a 'bad writer' for... essentially having preferences. at various points i lost confidence and contemplated throwing the towel.

thing is, we all do things differently, and we all have our own systems, preferences, and needs. i wish we'd stop putting each other down for that.

while i don't doubt my insecurities won't shift much next year, in 2024, i'll be in my eighth year writing. that feels like an achievement i ought to be celebrating. and it reminds me how important writing is in my life - because that's a third of my lifetime i will have been writing for. and mostly for this fandom, haha...

.°˖✧

looking on the fics i've written and finished this year, if i had to pick my favourite three, they'd probably be...

'Let Me Go' - i'm still patting myself on the back for this one. it's my favourite piece of nationverse i've written to date, and i could do so much with it...

'Want' - begging myself to write a sequel that i probably won't, but i can dream!

'Smokescreen' - ...it felt good to be bad, just for a little bit!

if i then think about my favourite aus in general from this year, then it's got to be:

the zoo au, from 'Lovebirds' because it's just CUTE, okay?

the RNLI au, from 'Swell', in which Arthur and Antonio are lifeboat volunteers (10/10 would write more)

the dragons au, from 'Scales' because worldbuilding is fun but also,, Rhys, my boy! :D

the school au, from 'The Note', for the memories it brings back and the reminder that i can write fluff, dammit!

and if only you guys knew the aus happening in my messages with maiva,, we are so smart we are so cool we are constantly drowning in cats :)

to conclude these little reflections on my year in fandom, things i'm a bit sad about:

i've given up on 'Bound' as a series - i just haven't been able to get anywhere with the plans or drafts i have, and i've lost my love for it, so it's officially parked.

'Hopeful Waters' will also definitely not continue - i will, however, not delete it as i have stopped myself from doing a million times this year. i may write snippets of 'what would have been' but my relationship with the fic is... largely negative, so i make no promise.

hetaween fics slipped through my darn fingers this year and i didn't write as much as i wanted. next year, i will return with vengeance... ùwú

and things i'm happy about or proud of from this year:

romespa ✨everything✨

i've written now well over a million words on ao3 which feels,, just surreal, honestly. 16 year old helia would never

i finally cleared out my ao3 inbox and stopped hoarding comments for months and i'm keeping on top of it!

i've continued to write dialogue prompt lists! it always makes me happy when i see others using them as well <3

.°˖✧

and so, looking at 2024...

next year, what i'm hoping above all else is that 'For Me?' reaches its conclusion. it's been slow-going this year with updates, and it's nearly two years old (ouch), but i'm now finally getting the plot back on track and i know my direction. i hope the wait will be worth it! i'm excited about what's to come for Antonio, Arthur, and the others :)

i also hope 'Bitter Teeth' keeps going strong. i hope i let myself take breaks without feeling so guilty. i hope i get more into historical hetalia again. i really want to explore the implications of the events of 'Let Me Go'. i hope i learn to love my unfinished works or abandoned wips. i hope i start sharing more of my ideas. i hope i learn it's okay to not always want to write the same characters over and over, even if they are my favourites.

really, i just want to keep moving forward. i want to keep writing. i want to keep loving writing. i want to keep exploring. i want to not succumb to negativity as much. i want to indulge even more in what i want and what i feel like.

oh, and i want more cat aus. sorry maiva. we're not finished.

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to finish, i just wanted to leave a little thanks to the friends i have here who read my stuff, who encourage me, and who give me the confidence to continue forwards. i treasure you. i hope you know who you are. and i offer you cookies, hugs, and well wishes for the year ahead 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

thank you guys for everything <3

#helia's stuff

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kitnita · 7 months

Text

Talk Hockey To Me

(tag game)

tagged by @eliooliver83 @oetter & @txstars!! mwah thank you!!!

1. The thing that got you hooked on hockey

i am a lifelong member of the 'being insane about sports' club in that i still have a poster of my baseball team's 2005 roster hanging over my bed & used to get SO pissed in middle school when boys in my class had incorrect college basketball opinions. but hockey was just? never on my radar?? due to the south texas of it all. then i went to college for broadcast in new york state & made friends with some guys majoring in sports broadcast and was like wait ....... there's a sport they talk about that i can't talk about (i loved knowing more about sports than boys so this was a serious blow) (football doesnt count i decided when i was a kid that i didn't care about football therefore its not real) & a friend of mine with whom i watched the world series was like no i've got you i can get you into hockey. i realize now she just wanted an excuse to proselytize about the new york islanders.

but anyway yeah!! i stuck with being fond of them because of her & then added the stars because as a Texan i had to root for them & also tyler seguin hooked me. i was a casual fan until there were absolutely No Sports in 2020 & i accidentally stumbled upon hockeyblr just in time to get hyper mega insane about hockey before the bubble playoffs.

2. Your first ever fandom friend

like any normal well adjusted person i feel weird calling someone my friend even if we're friendly because what if they don't actually like me (again this is normal & well adjusted behavior) that said tanya txstars was the first hashtag mutual i had in starsblr whomst i feel like i talked to via the tags!!

3. The jersey you would most like to own

wait have i ever mentioned that i own a mooterus jersey. it was like eighty dollars off depop because its a) womens cut & b) a size small which means that while it does technically fit, my tits stop it from looking like, you know, a jersey should look on the human body. so i'd love one that i can wear without feeling ridiculous!! through logan stankoven all things are possible!!! i'm generally a jersey thrifter so i do love the $16 tyler jersey i found but im sure one day ill bite the bullet and buy a non-secondhand otter jersey.

4. YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

unfortunately goalies are inherently endearing & then on top of that he's also insane in the most confounding way possible so jake oettinger is My Guy whether he likes it or not

5. A pairing that deserves more fic

as someone who has written just over half of the robotter fic out there in the world: please put more robotter fic out there in the world. also i think robo & otter both deserve to fuck otter's goalie partner. also also it's not technically a pairing but i think we as a people need to embrace delly's clear & evident love for throuples and start sticking him in other peoples relationships. it's what he would want <3

6. Your favourite on-ice moment

jason robertson laying flat on his back on the ice after finishing his first career hat trick lives in my head rent free btw. if you even care. it just plays on a fucking loop up there. also the the dellymiro delly's first goal celly. also also that time those flames fans tried to actually curse jake midgame. like on the one hand what the fuck but on the other hand i actually admire that kind of dedication yk

THEN

link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out

i'm still foaming at the mouth over @txstars's rule 63 robotter fic!! also i think it's clear what robo ship i've dedicated myself to but everyone in the roboroope trenches is soooo impressive to me. i see the vision. @winningmachine's stats guy robo fic is a foundational text. thank you @starscelly for also giffing insane random things during games. there's so many other fun people in starsblr specifically & hockeyblr generally but see above re: being normal and well adjusted so You Know Who You Are & also I Love Your Work

AND

link something you made & are proud of & want people to see

my magnum opus ............ the robotter primer. linking anything else feels weird BUT please enjoy my unhinged labor of love. i saw someone mentioned it to that gay hockey tournament blog but didnt want to link it?? please link it places. put how unhinged i was/am about them on blast.

tagging @coffeehound91 @moregraceful @hintzy!!! & also idk who has and hasn't been tagged so if you see this & would like to do it please do & feel free to tag me as the person who tagged you because i am a certified nosy bitch & love seeing other people talk about themselves <3

#tag game #long post //#i NEVER remember to do these i feel so weirdly proud of myself. sorry for how many times i dropped the word also #were i a hockey player i giffed & transcribed 'also' would be the filler clutch that drove me insane à la 'you know' or 'i mean'#sorry this is so long also. i can't shut up

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