#we have like. a crumble of info about them anyways?? literally nothing suggest that they didnt interact

[mxlfoydraco]

i’m just as, if not more, annoyed with marauders tiktok/twitter but bashing jegulus with superficial and misconstrued takes isnt the way to express that

[nanami-says]

Part IV (4/5): chapters 45~49

Chapter 45

[About talismans put on curses released for students to hunt during the group event]

“But even when exorcised with non-registered energy, it’ll burn red”

Not incorrect here, just pointing this bit out since it was mistranslated in the original explanation by Ichiji in ch. 40. (They kind of skipped the info about pre-registering cursed energy altogether.)

U:“It must be an outsider. Maybe an intruder?”

M:“Does that mean Master Tengen’s protective barrier isn’t working?”

G:“Intruder or not, this is an unexpected situation”

⇒ U:“Somewhere from the outside… Do you mean an intruder?”

[Mei Mei’s line]

G:“Whether it’s [someone] from the outside or from the inside, it doesn’t change that fact that those are unforeseen circumstances”.

Utahime was more asking and not actually stating anything here. Could go with “outsider” too but I wanted to capture the nuance of her still musing here better. As for Gakuganji, he wasn’t actually reiterating the line about “intruder” but “from the outside”! I.e. that it doesn’t matter if they came from the outside (of the barrier, I’m assuming), or from the inside. 

[Gojou talking about the curtain]

“We’ll just rip it apart once it’s complete”

⇒ “So all you have to do is just rip it apart after it’s gone down”

Not wrong but Gojou sounded cockier here haha.

“In exchange for denying Satoru Gojo entrance, it gives everyone else free access”

⇒ “This is a [protective] barrier that, in exchange for denying ‘Gojou Satoru’ entrance, allows ‘everyone else’ besides that to enter and leave freely”

The original included more technical information, like Gojou calling it a “barrier” (結界/kekkai) even though normally the term used is “curtain” (帳/tobari). I’m not really sure on the specifics but, for example, the Jujutsu High is protected by Master Tengen’s “barrier” and when sorcerers want to conceal their fights from civilians they use a “curtain”. 

Also, the original has “Gojou Satoru” and “everyone else” put in quotation marks so imo they should’ve signaled that somehow in the official English release as well.

“Why is there a cursed spirit here?”

Actually specifies “at Jujutsu High”.

“And whose curtain is that?”

“It’s probably coming from whomever is working with the cursed spirit”

Again, Megumi actually specifies that it’s “the curse user working(...)”.

[After Megumi interprets Inumaki’s riceball language with Kamo present]

“You can understand what he’s saying?”

“Does that matter right now? It might use expansion on us. We need to contact Gojo-sensei”

Megumi only says “domain” here (and it’s put in quotation marks again to show it’s a term) and not “domain expansion”. Also, he sounds more dismissive because the first line is closer to, “Something like that doesn’t matter right now, does it”.

[About Hanami’s speech] 

“What the-- I can understand the meaning behind the noises it makes”

⇒ “What’s that-- Even though I don’t get what it’s saying from the sound, I can still understand the meaning”

Not incorrect, just wanted to propose something closer to the original wording.

“The forest, the sea, the sky… They’re crying from the tragedies they’ve withstood. We can no longer live in peace with humans”

⇒ (...) They’re crying how they cannot bear any more. Continued coexistence with humans is no longer possible.”

Imo the “can no longer coexist” referred to the forest, sky etc. Also just a slightly different nuance for the whole line, I suppose.

“They know that there are humans who care for the planet. But how useful is mere compassion?”

Hanami doesn’t really call it “mere compassion”, just “that compassion”, or, literally, “kindness”, “affection”.

Chapter 46

“We’ll have Inumaki stop it so we can keep some distance between us after we attack. We gotta do this if we’re gonna have a chance of getting out of the curtain. We need to find the principals.”

⇒ “Have Inumaki stop it, then we attack, and gain distance. Through a repeat of this, we’ll aim to get outside of the curtain and regroup with the principals”

Not incorrect per se but it sounded more like Kamo just describing their strategy to me. 

Cont. on the next page.

“But how long can we keep this up. Inumaki’s cursed speech is losing effect. We can’t get in touch with the teachers either. It may even figure out a way to counter cursed speech.”

⇒ “But we don’t know when the current equilibrium will crumble. The effectiveness of cursed speech is bad as it is and we can’t even try and get in touch with the teachers. If he realises how to counter cursed speech, then it’s over.”

Lots of nuance lost here. First off, Kamo seems to have been talking about cursed speech’s low effectiveness in general, rather than referring to Inumaki getting weaker. And the line about the teachers actually said they “don’t even have a chance/space to contact” rather than that they’d already tried and failed.

“Finding Todo is a priority. Even Miwa would do at this point.”

⇒ “I’d like to join up with Todo, or at the very least Miwa, as soon as possible but....”

“Even Miwa” makes it sound like Kamo doesn’t really value her but he’s actually ranking her quite high, as she seems to be his next option after Toudou.

”The cursed speech he used wasn’t particularly strong, but his throat gave out. The enemy is that much stronger”

⇒ “Even though he wasn’t using a powerful spirit of language, Inumaki-senpai’s throat still got crushed. The difference in levels is just that huge”

When speaking about Inumaki here, Megumi actually didn’t refer to “cursed speech”, i.e. the technique, but “kotodama”, which’s what the technique uses, its main component, you could say. (“The spirit of language”, please refer to ch. 33 part IV (1/5). Also, as the phrase used in the last sentence is literally “higher rank”, imo it wasn’t so much about difference in pure strength by itself, as difference in levels (which will obviously also translate to difference in strength).

“You can’t cut me with such sword”

He literally calls it “this blunt sword” here. 

“Its eye branches are its weak point”

Closer to, “are more fragile/brittle than the rest [of him]”.

[Maki about the new weapon she just switched to]

“But using this doesn’t feel right”

Actually “is vexing” or even “disgusting”, “revolting” etc., as, you know, it’s a weapon that used to belong to Getou, who once almost killed her. (Vol. 0)

Chapter 47

[About Maki’s special grade weapon]

“Indeed, that is not bad”

Actually “this is a good one”, a different nuance.

“Jujutsu sorcerers are interesting. And so emotional too. Every time one of their allies gets hurt, they leave new openings.”

⇒ “[It seems] jujutsu sorcerers are exceptionally compassionate.(...)”

What they translated as “interesting” was actually a descriptor for “compassionate”, which too imo is different from just “emotional”. All the possible translations given by the dictionary I checked are adverbs (highly, extremely, outstandingly, unusually, remarkably, exceptionally etc.), so imo, despite of how it was spaced in the original, it was intended as a single sentence.

[After Hanami explains how the bud that’s gotten lodged in Megumi’s body works]

“How nice of you to explain! You’re planning on killing me anyway, right?”

“I hear it’s more effective once explained”

This bit is interesting because while it’d been stated before that explaining a technique can lend it more power, Hanami is actually talking about speed here. I guess you could argue regarding the actual differences between speed vs. effectiveness but he did only say that “it'll work faster” this way.

[Hanami praising Maki]

“You have some nice moves”

Actually just “you can move well”, which imo has a slightly different nuance.

“I need to use everything I’ve got! Even if I get ripped apart”

⇒ “{Got to] Muster all of my cursed energy, even if it means my stomach/guts will rip!”

“I get ripped apart” sounds more drastic than the original imo.

Cont. onto. 

“I choose who I save, unlike the others. I’m bearing the least burden. That’s why it’s inexcusable that I be the first to go down!”

⇒ “I’m not like the others. I choose the people to protect. I’m not [the one] bearing the most burden. That’s why (...)”

Again some of the nuance of the original seems to have been altered imo. I’m not 100% sure re the line about bearing burden but I think the meaning was probably closer to what I suggested. I am sure that he said “people to protect” and not “people to save” here, though. 

Chapter 48

[Nishimiya about Toudou]

“If nothing else, you’re strong”

The phrase used here actually means “redeeming feature”. So you know, in Nishimiya’s eyes Toudou may suck overall but being strong is his only saving grace.

[Toudou to Megumi about Yuuji seeming different]

“You see it too. He’s beginning to spread his wings. He must find his own way. That is where he stands now.”

⇒ “So you’ve realised it too. When a person is beginning to spread their wings, it’s unforgiven for others to interfere. Itadori is in such a state right now”

Toudou was speaking rather loftily here, so maybe that’s why they seem to have gotten it slightly wrong but imo phrasing it as “must find his own way” didn’t really capture the original nuance of “it’s unforgiven for anyone else to so much as touch them”, which is what the second part of the sentence literally says. So it’s less emphasis on what Yuuji himself must do and more on what others aren’t allowed to do.

[Hanami after judging Toudou as weaker than himself]

“But he’s got a strong presence.”

⇒ “But this mysterious brazenness…”

Could also go with “impudence”, “shamelessness”, “boldness” etc. here haha.

[Hanami about Yuuji]

“You’re smart to close the distance. [I’ll commend you for that]

⇒ "You don't rush in recklessly. (...)"

...Literally the opposite meaning for this one. Hanami was commenting on Yuuji having attacked from the distance first.

“More agile than the girl! But his strength is disappointing”

⇒ “His instantaneous force surpasses the girl from before! (...)”

The word also means “explosiveness”, “explosive power”, so imo it pointed to Yuuji being able to unleash a lot of power in a short amount of time (although the actual output still fell short in Hanami’s opinion). Idk why they made it “agile” instead...

“Anger is a valuable trigger for a jujutsu sorcerer. There’ve been instances where people have been put on their heels after provoking an inferior opponent. The opposite is not good either. Mishandling cursed energy when angered, wastes your skills, and the fight will end in defeat.”

⇒ “‘Anger’ is an important trigger for jujutsu sorcerers. There are times when you can be beaten by a lower rank just because you’ve angered your opponent. Of course, the opposite is true as well. There are also times when you lose, because you became unable to draw out your true strength, with your cursed energy disrupted by anger”

They seem to have conveyed the nuance of Toudou’s lines here being a broader explanation this time but a lot of nuance has been lost nevertheless. Most importantly: “there are times” and not “there have’ve been instances”, this would be a different grammatical construction if the latter was the case; “the opposite is not good either” is just off; “wastes your skills” was imo unclear, it was closer to “can’t unleash your true power”.

“Your friend Fushiguro is hurt. And worst of all, our bonding time as best friends got interrupted, so I understand better than anyone why you would lose your cool.”

⇒ “Your friend got hurt, and worst of all, the honeymoon with me, your best friend, got interrupted as well. So I can understand rea~~~~~lly well why you’d be boiling with rage”

Once again Toudou using a much more poetic/lofty language in the original was flattened down in the official English release. (“Are boiling with rage” becoming “lose control”, freaking “honeymoon” - and yes, he actually used that word lol - becoming “bonding time”.)

More importantly though, there have been several cases before, when I mentioned that something is written one way but read differently, but didn’t go into the details. (For example, Sukuna’s way of referring to Megumi and Nobara in chapter 7 (refer to part I), or Nobara speaking about the Kyoto principal in ch. 37 (part IV 2/5). This is where I finally explain this phenomenon a bit more in-depth, using Toudou, who’s probably the best example.

If you've ever studied Japanese, you're probably familiar with furigana used over/beside kanji characters to indicate pronunciation. For example, the word “shin’yuu” which means best friend, would be written in kanji 親友, and then have しんゆう written over it in hiragana. Here, the actual word and the way it’s read match.

But in manga it's a fairly common practice to use furigana to provide an alternate reading. So you have 1) the actual text and 2) the reading.

  1) can sometimes supply additional information as well (e.g. written as “technique” but pronounced as “talent”) but mostly it’s included to provide context and specify something to the reader that the characters would be naturally aware of, and 2) is what the character is actually saying out loud in the scene.

So in this scene Toudou doesn’t really say Fushiguro’s name out loud and only calls him “[your] friend/comrade", because it’d be obvious to Yuuji from the context whom he means here.

The same also applies most of the time when Toudou addresses Yuuji, like in the line that got translated as “Itadori, my friend”. In this case, the text is “Itadori” (to indicate to the reader that Toudou truly addresses him here) but what he is saying out loud here is “my friend”, which, btw, is actually said in English even in the original. So he’s literally calling him “mai furendo” here, haha. (In general, Toudou seems to opt for English equivalents quite frequently in the manga.)

Whelp, this ended up very long but basically, whenever I say that “it’s written like XX, but he actually says YY”, this is what I mean!

“But that anger is not for you. Suppress it for now”

⇒ “But that anger is too much for you. (...)”

Not 100% sure but this is probably closer to the original meaning. Also I just found the English translation really vague/unclear. 

“Any more distractions?” 

“Nope”

⇒ ”Did they disappear? Distractions"

“Yeah, not a single cloud [left]”

Aww, this isn’t incorrect but the wording in the original is just so lovely.

“Thank you so much. My best friend - Todo”

⇒ “(...), best friend!”

What I said for Toudou re text vs. pronounciation, except now it’s spreading, down to gratuitous English. 

“For those who have experienced black flash, as compared to those who have not, their understanding of the essence of cursed energy is immeasurable.

⇒ “(...) the gap between their distance to the core of cursed energy is like heaven and earth”

Not incorrect but I really like the ring and the descriptiveness of the original wording.

Chapter 49

“You got to taste a sample of your cursed energy”

⇒ “You’ve grasped the ‘taste’ of cursed energy”

Imo not Yuuji’s own but cursed energy as a whole, as in that Yuuji has glimpsed what cursed energy truly is.

Extended cooking metaphor cont. onto the next page

“Until now, it’s like you’ve been putting ingredients that you’re not familiar with into a pot and cooking haphazardly”

Not incorrect per se but the original wording for the line about ingredients is “ingredients you never tasted yourself” and imo there’s a distinction.

“But with black flash, you’ve gained the ingredient that is cursed energy. As a chef, or in this case, a jujutsu sorcerer, you’re on a different level than you were just three seconds ago”

⇒ “But now through ‘black flash’ you’ve grasped the ‘taste’ of the ingredient that is cursed energy. As a chef, you’re now standing in a completely different dimension than the you from 3 seconds ago”

It wasn’t the “ingredient” (cursed energy) itself that was emphasised here but the ingredient’s “taste” (essence of cursed energy). Also Toudou is actually extrapolating on what he said on the previous page and he even reiterates  his line from there (that mistakenly got translated as “you got to taste a sample of your cursed energy”). Overall, the text on those two pages just flowed better originally and wasn’t as disjointed. Also, this was another instance of text (jujutsu sorcerer) vs. pronunciation (chef)!

“Congratulations brother. You will be strong”

Closer to “you will be able to grow strong”. Also, re “brother” - it’s written as "super best/close friend” and spoken out loud as “brother” and again, it’s actually pronounced in English (“brazaa”). Heck, Toudou also actually says “congratulations” in English too haha.

[After Hanami has healed his own limb]

“It can heal itself?!”

“Cursed spirits are made from cursed energy”

Actually specifies that it’s the “bodies of cursed spirits” here.

“But its cursed energy is undoubtedly weakened. If we get its head, then it’s game over.”

⇒ “But it [healing] will infallibly/certainly shave its cursed energy. And if you crush its head, it’s game over”

Again, imo a more general explanation on how self-healing works for cursed spirits.

“I need to try a little harder”

⇒ “It seems it’ll be better to get serious to an extent”

Just to make sure that the nuance here is that Hanami had been holding back before. 

“What a heavy hit! It’s not quite as heavy as the black flash hit from earlier. However, individually they have enough power to hurt me”

⇒ “Heavy! Not to the extent of the previous black flash hit but each [hit] has enough power to deal damage to me with certainty”

Imo the official release was a bit unclear, so I tried to tweak the wording. Especially the “individually” bit - imo it was intended to mean “each”. In other words, the two’s attacks, while not as powerful as black flash, are still potent enough to actually hurt Hanami with each respective hit.

[After Hanami dissolves his technique and Yuuji and Toudou's footing disappears]

“Our footing! We underestimated it! With this amount of mass I thought it was manipulating physical branches with its cursed energy. But it’s the embodiment of cursed energy! It made the illusion real with just its cursed energy. That’s a special grade for you!”

⇒ ”(...) We let our guards down! (...) Everything was materialised and manifested just with his cursed energy!! (...)”

Like in the instance above, imo the way the official release translated it was really unclear, especially the line about “making illusion real”, which actually was just “manifest”. (Again, “materialisation” is actually “realisation” but I used the former to make it easier to understand.)

(jp)

“You should be more true to yourself, Hanami”

“I’m not trying to be anything else”

“I’m not saying you’re lying. I know why you fight. But as long as we’re fighting, why not try to enjoy it?”

⇒ ”Hanami, you know, you should be more honest”

“I don’t think I’m pretending”

“It’s not like I’m calling you a liar or anything and I know what’s the objective you fight for. But I think you should try to enjoy the process - the present called ‘fight’ - more”

The meaning was there but I wanted to propose something closer to the original wording because it’s interesting to me how Mahito switches between very simple phrases and more complicated thought processes (like here he explicitly compares “objective”/”goal” and “the process”).

[After Hanami asks whether Mahito enjoys fighting]

“The pleasure I feel while fighting didn’t motivate me much until recently”

⇒ “It’s not until recently that the joy, that the pleasure, I feel at the height of a fight have become my motive”

So it’s not like they didn’t motive him much but that they only recently became his motive/incentive to fight!! Quite a significant distinction imo.

“Before I realised, all the deceit, cheating and killing left me satiated. Just like humans eat, sleep and rape, curses manifest instinctive behaviors as well”

⇒ “When I realised - deceit, tricking, killing - I’ve already been filled/satisfied without being aware of it. The same way humans eat, sleep and transgress/violate - for curses those are probably their instincts”

Not 100% sure about the first sentence but it’s something similar. Emphasis mine for the second sentence. In other words, it’s precisely deceit, tricking and killing that Mahito sees as curses’ instincts. Also the word that they translated as “rape” does indeed mean that as well, but imo it could’ve just as well been pointing to one of its more broader meanings, like “to violate” or “commit [crimes]”.

“We might have gained reasoning, but that doesn’t mean we should deny our impulses”

Imo “reason” instead of “reasoning” and “fight against our instincts” (since the same word gets used) instead of “deny our impulses”. Especially since they translate it as “reason” in the next panel.

“A spirit is blend of impulse and reason”

⇒ “A soul is a blend of instinct and reason”

Emphasis mine. I genuinely have no clue why the official release suddenly translated it differently here... Everywhere else they’d also gone with  “soul” whenever the word appeared before, which, needless to say, happened in almost every other instance of Mahito talking about his technique and/or philosophy. 

“You all right, brother?”

“No problem!”

“There you go!” ⇒ “Splendid!”

Also means “excellent”, another example where in the original Toudou is using a lofty expression and which sadly got a cut in the official release. He’s so proud of everything that Yuuji does, okay. :”( The first two are fine. 

[to part iv (5/5)]

[lifeofmarvvel]

Sunshine On A Cloudy Day- Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Word Count: 3133

Requested by @dank-memes: “Hey! I was wondering if you could do one where it’s a Parker x Stark! Reader and the reader is the leader of the new avengers (this takes place after infinity war and avengers 4). Something goes really wrong on a mission and it’s making the team fall apart and the reader starts to blame herself and Peter is there to support her and eventually confesses his love to her? And then later the team sees this and makes up as well.”

A/N: Sorry for the approx. year wait! Thanks for being so patient! I also did things a little differently than worded- hope that's okay and you like it! Anyway, I played around with the style a bit with this one. Hopefully, it reads well and makes sense. Obvious Endgame spoilers ahead (it has been almost a month). Thanks to all who gave me suggestions for the team members, even though they aren't really featured.  The title comes from "My Girl" by The Temptations. Enjoy!

Warnings: Self-doubt, minor violence, ENDGAME SPOILERS

[Y/N] Stark. Daughter of Tony Stark. Step-daughter of Pepper Potts. Older half-sister of Morgan Stark. Child prodigy. Heir to Stark Industries. Newest leader of the Avengers. Fantasia.

You.

That certainly was a lot to live up to. Your dad surely lived up to what was expected of him and exceeded it. Naturally, you had the same expectations, if not more, because of it. It wasn’t hard at times, but at others, it crushed you. Sometimes it was in your nature to solve a problem the team had had for days in hours. Those moments your inherited genius really shone through. But in others, all you wanted was for someone to see you for you and not your genes.

Pepper, Rhodey, Morgan, and Happy did see you for you. But they were family. You’d known Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy ever since your mom had left you with Tony as a toddler. You had quite literally known Morgan all her life. You wanted, maybe even needed at this point, for someone outside of them to see who you really were.

The team tried. With most of the original Avengers retired or off to a better place, you had stepped up and filled your dad’s spot. Originally he hadn’t wanted you to be a superhero. But just like him, you were drawn in and couldn’t stop. He gave in and started training you with the newer recruits. Due to you being a teenager, he didn’t let you on any missions- at first.

Since you were technically not an “active” member of the team, you were left out of the whole Sokovia Accords issue. And not only did this issue divide the team, but it also brought in Spider-Man and your active involvement on the team. Since then, Fantasia was a public favorite and beloved superhero. Unfortunately, it added to the list of things people saw when they saw you instead of you.

The final battle with Thanos- the 2014 version of Thanos, actually- happened years ago. The heroes that survived and hadn’t retired after the battle continued their hero-ing for many years. But they aged, trained proteges, and retired themselves in due time.

And here you were. The new leader of the Avengers, alongside a grown-up Peter Parker. It was kind of funny how at times he seemed to have the same role Steve did all those years ago, considering he was also your father’s protege. You worked together, aided the team, and tried your best to fill the shoes left by the original team but still be your own person.

The team now consisted of you, Peter, Kate, Cassie, Monica, Harley, America, Shuri when she was available, and Morgan in training but not mission-active. The job was draining, physically and emotionally, but it was worth it. Humanity was worth it. And despite all the petty arguments the team could have, you loved them and leading them and almost everything that came with it.

And one person in particular...not that he’d ever know. No, you decided professionalism was the best way to go in regards to romantic feelings towards a teammate. No need to compromise yourself, him, and possibly even the team over something like a crush.

A crush.

Okay, maybe it was more than a crush, considering it started when you first met him and hasn’t let up yet. And you had another reason other than being compromised for not telling him. After all, he’d been one of your best friends ever since you met him after that fateful day in Germany. No need to ruin a perfect friendship. Absolutely no need. No need at all. Nope.

Yeah, you were screwed.

All things considered, the team was working together pretty well. Even though many of you were working together for the first time, everyone seemed to get along. Everyone knew their parts. Everyone knew what to do. Everyone respected you. You didn’t even get too many comparisons or references to your dad anymore. It wasn’t quite Original Avengers Fighting Together smooth, but the pieces were falling into place. It worked.

That’s what mattered most- it worked. You lived up to expectations, the team won fights, they got along, and it all worked out in the end. You were doing the right thing, you were the right choice. It’ll only get better from here.

Right?

It did not get better from here.

That’s what raced through your mind when what was supposed to be a simple, easy mission took a nosedive for the worst. It was supposed to be a quick in-and-out. Get in, knock some bad guys out, collect some info, get out.

Instead, someone triggered an alarm, Kate was out of arrows, Cassie had a broken leg and many gashes, Peter was stuck to the ceiling, Monica hit a wall, the goons were closing in, one of your thrusters was malfunctioning, someone screamed, no, make that two- wait no, maybe it was you, the walls tumbled down, dust was everywhere, where was everyone, are they okay, you can’t lose someone you can’t lose someone you can’t lose someone again, you can’t see anything, something hit your arm, you were going to have to call an Original Team Member for backup, how embarrassing is all of this, something hit your leg, it’s all your fault, you never should have started this mission you weren’t prepared, the team wasn’t prepared, something hit you in the back, where were you, it’s all your fault, this is not better this is worse much much worse.

“Fantasia, look at me.” A soft voice pulled you from your swirling thoughts. Peter wasn’t stuck on the ceiling. He was in front of you, pulling you aside from the team, gentle hands on your shoulders. Somehow, you were out of the building. Somehow, you were on the quinjet. You had no memory of leaving. The thoughts were too much- you hadn’t been paying enough attention. A shaky breath escaped you.

“Hey, deep breath,” Peter said, preventing you from spiraling again. “You didn’t seem like you were mentally here with us so I got the team out and we’re heading back to base. I got your back. Take all the time you need to calm down. I totally get it.”

You closed your eyes and gave him a half-smile. “Thanks, Spidey. Imma just lay down now.” Before he could answer, you slumped against the wall and greeted the darkness with open arms.

A booming noise woke you. You shot up, reaching for a weapon and finding none. Your head screamed at you in protest, and a second later the boom cleared. Two of your teammates faced each other, clearly in the midst of an argument. Oh no. The team wasn’t getting along anymore. And from the sounds of it, they were arguing about the mission.

“Yeah, well maybe if you hadn’t set off the alarm, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“Oh, so it’s my fault now?! I’m not the one who made the building crumble on us! If anything, you’re the reason why everyone is injured now!”

“I made the building crumble? Please. I was aiming at one of the bad guys and he dodged it last second! That’s not my fault! How was I supposed to know the blast would take out a beam and crumble around us?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS!”

Oh no.

Things looked like they were going to get physical soon. Cassie and Kate faced each other, moving into defensive stances as they shouted. They were best friends. Why was this happening? The team was falling apart. If they couldn’t get along, nobody was going to get along. The team was going to fail. It was going flop, dissolve, want nothing to do with each other, ruin friendships, save nobody, hurt everybody, it was going to die. If only you’d been more aware during the fight. This wouldn’t have happened. None of this would have.

“Hey hey hey!” Peter said, stepping between them. “We can’t place the blame on one person here, okay? We all messed up- it was bound to happen eventually. The team wasn’t as prepared as we wanted to be and that’s okay. We weren’t expecting there to be the number of agents that were there. That’s nobody’s fault or everyone’s fault; take your pick. We’re landing now, so please sit down and calm down. You can talk it out inside.” He then went back to his piloting seat and sat down next to Harley.

Bless Peter Parker. He was an angel with how often he cooled down the team from fights. Without him, the team really would fall apart.

Ten minutes later, the quinjet had landed. You made sure everyone was physically okay before retreating to your room again. A screaming match looked to be on the horizon involving everyone and you booked it before you could hear it.

You changed into something more comfortable, set some background music up, and laid on your bed. Exhaustion washed over you. Why had everything gone so wrong today? You were the leader, you should be able to prevent this. Peter shouldn’t have to step in- it shouldn’t happen.

It was all your fault the team wasn’t sticking. You picked new recruits. You lead them in training exercises. You talked with Rhodey over what missions the team was ready for. You had agreed that today should have been easy. You were underprepared. You let the extra agents distract you. You lost control of your team. You couldn’t get them to get along. It was all on you.

You couldn’t live up to the Stark name. It was too much. The team was going to start seeing you like your own person for sure. They’ll start to see you as the failure Stark. They’ll kick you out and give your position to Morgan as soon as she’s old enough. She was living up to all the expectations and exceeding them. She rarely doubted herself. She was the younger, better sister. Fantasia was just a knock-off version of Iron Man and Rescue anyway.

Your eyes squeezed shut, blocking out the sunlight flooding through the windows. It was still daylight. That’s how quickly the mission became a disaster. You hadn’t been gone even 12 hours. Distantly, shouting echoed through the compound. They had to be yelling their lungs out or the fight had moved rooms. The bedrooms were a long way from the landing pad. You squeezed your eyes tighter. Maybe if you ignore it, it’ll all go away or turn out to be a bad dream.

A knock on your door made you jump slightly. There was only one person who’d be here now. “Go away, Pete,” you said.

“Not until you come out or let me in,” came the response. You were right. A pillow made its way to cover your face as you shifted. It stayed.

When you didn’t say anything else, he came in. With the pillow in the way, you didn’t see his reaction to you curled up on your bed. You did feel him sit on your bed, your back to him.

“Leave me alone,” you mumbled half-heartedly.

“Not happening.” He reached out and started playing with what he could of your splayed hair. “I’m staying until you’re done with your pity party.”

You looked over your shoulder to give him a glare. “I’m not having a pity party.”

He smiled softly at you. “I know that. But it got you to look at me, which was the whole point of it.”

You huffed and turned back to your pillow. Silence stretched over the two of you. The repeated motion of Peter playing with your hair started to lull you to sleep. You could count on him to calm you down any day.

Right before you fell asleep, his hand stopped. “C’mon, please tell me what’s bugging you.” He was met with more silence. “Please? For your best friend?”

It was hard to resist. You didn’t dare turn over- no doubt he’d have his puppy dog eyes on display. Curse him and his perfection of that skill. Curse him and his perfection overall. “The team’s falling apart and it’s all my fault,” you said.

“Hey now, that’s not true,” Peter protested. “We might be going through a rough patch, but it’s not your fault.”

“But I could’ve prevented everything that happened.”

“Maybe,” he agreed. “But that’s okay. You’re human, Stark heir or not. You put too much pressure on yourself- you always have. That’s why I’m here, right? To knock some sense into you every once in a while.”

You sniffed and ran your hand across your eyes even though you weren’t crying- really, you weren’t! “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Pete. You’re really the reason this team hasn’t killed each other yet.”

He chuckled a bit. “It’s not easy. You make it easier to do. You’re such a great leader, [Y/N]. You try to save everyone you can, you try to make the team get along the best you can. Everyone respects you- I don’t think you quite see that all the time, but they do. You’re one of the most selfless people I know, and you can solve problems faster than they come up. Today was just a fluke. They happen, they’ll continue to happen. But that doesn’t mean it’s your fault that everything flopped.”

A loud shout interrupted him and he paused, then took your hand. Shifting so you faced him, a small smile found its way onto your face. “The team won’t always get along. We even fight and we’ve been friends forever. They’re just starting to work together. They’ll get in soon enough.”

“Dad did complain about the original team fighting a lot,” you added, smiling continuing to grow.

“Yeah.” Peter had a smile matching yours. “We’ve got this. You got this. You’re smart, funny, patient, and you care about and love your friends and family with all your heart. You’re the best person I know, and I love you. You said you don’t know what you would do without me, Well, I don’t know what I would do without you..”

You froze, eyes widening. “What’d you just say?”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you..”

“No, before that.”

“You’re the best person I know?” It was obvious he knew what you meant and was avoiding saying it.

You swatted his arm with your free hand. “Not that, doofus. Between those two things.”

Peter blushed and looked down. “I love you?”

If you had been grinning earlier, it was nothing compared to how you smiled now. “Good. I love you, too, Peter Parker. I’ve loved you for years.” A light, peaceful feeling settled over you, like sunshine in your chest. All doubts vanished from your mind at that instant- storm clouds clearing for the sun.

“Good. Yeah, that’s good. Me too. Well, not me too. I have also been in love with you for y-” You wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss, effectively cutting him off.

“How many years did we waste on pining, do you think?” You asked him after pulling away just enough to talk.

“Too many,” he responded, then pulled you in for another kiss. You laughed into it, causing the kiss to barely happen. The two of you were smiling too much for it to go well, but you didn’t mind. In fact, you loved it.

If Peter Parker of all people loved you, then you’d be fine. You’d dreamed about it for years and it came true. Why couldn’t that apply to the team? It would. You could feel it. All the goals will be accomplished, the team will get close, everyone will improve. You could accomplish your dreams- even if you couldn’t control everything that came your way.

The next morning, Kate snickered when you staggered into the kitchen, pajamas rumpled, hair a mess and very much your father’s daughter in the morning. You shot her a glare and made your way over to the precious caffeine. She opened her mouth but you raised a single finger and took a sip.

She waited until you finished, then pounced. “So, what’s going on with you and Peter?” She wiggled her eyebrows at you, leading to you scrunch your face up.

“I don’t know what those eyebrows are for. Nothing’s going on. Peter just came to give me a pep talk after a rough mission. It’s happened before.”

Kate gave a disbelieving scoff. “I came in to tell you guys things had calmed down more and we were gonna get takeout to find you two cuddled up and fast asleep. That’s something, all right.”

You scowled at her and didn’t answer. After fixing yourself something to eat, you sat down and watched the rest of the team trickle in. When Peter passed by behind you, he paused long enough to give you a kiss on the head before continuing on.

“There! That’s what I’m talking about!” Kate exclaimed, jumping out of her seat.

The team, despite being trained superheroes, all jumped at her raised voice. “What on Earth are you talking about?” Cassie asked her.

“Peter and [Y/N]! What’s going on between you two?” She directed the question towards Peter, who was gathering his own breakfast.

He glanced at you with a smile before looking back down at his food. “Nothing.”

The room erupted with noise. “THAT’S SOMETHING ALL RIGHT!” Kate shouted above it all. Harley couldn’t stop laughing. America shook her head at her teammates.

“Team Mom and Dad, I called it!” Cassie said when everyone calmed down, sending you coughing from laughing while eating.

“No! Don’t kill Mom!” Monica added jokingly. She patted you on the back. “You good?”

You nodded as the last few coughs ended. “I’m not gonna let some cereal be the end of me, guys. I’m fine,” you said, prompting some scattered laughter. “Anyways, Peter and I end enough of your fights to be your parents, huh?”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Kate said. “We’ll try to make that happen less. We’ll get it down soon enough.”

“She has a point, though,” Cassie butted in. “Something’s going on between you two.”

“It’s nothing,” you replied at the same time.

“Something’s going on!” Cassie repeated, laughing.

“We’re best friends, Cassie, that’s what’s going on,” you said. End of discussion. Back to breakfast. Your tone was clear.

Of course, they didn’t believe you. And you totally blew your cover an hour later when Morgan showed up and walked in on Peter kissing you and screamed: “IT’S ABOUT TIME!” But that didn’t matter. A beautiful thing came out of a terrible day. Things could only get better. And you weren’t wrong this time.

Tagging some Mutuals: @flicker-parker @skymoonandstardust @aw-hawkeye @loverholland @sunshineandparker

[chvvva]

With each passing day, I become more and more aware of fandom dynamics and of what belonging to an organized subculture means. It’s no secret that fandom is a pretty old thing, but, and here’s the point of this introduction, though social network may have quickened and facilitated the process of people with the same interests from all over the world amazingly coming together, it also consistently fueled a fascinating phenomenon. Yes, I’m talking about those little mean anons and those walls of repetitive ass complaints preventing you from seeing content in the tags. In short, “hate”. Which represents the anti-movement and, it’s safe to safe to say at this point, a sub-subculture in and of itself. A few inputs before the actual rant:

From a neutral perspective, the Internet basically works like this: Immediate access to/diffusion of informations = Viral and limitless circulation.

And that’s great and positive,

but if your parents told you not to believe everything you read on the web to be true, now it’s time to remember that advice.

Because when free info distribution and limitless circulation make sweet love, it leads to increasing misinformation.

You’re misinformed when: you read someone else’s opinion and are firmly convinced that it is true without resources and/or factual proofs and qualified people confirming it.

Rings a few bells?

But fine, let’s say that those who condemn social issues, those who advocate, who do their best to promote healthy and open mindsets, those who want some kind of progress, aren’t spending 90% of the time they could be dedicating to those important causes… on the Internet > The place where sometimes - sometimes, but it happens - questionably subversive arguments are worded better than motivational speeches. This can be proven by looking at any post containing words like; “fetishization”; everything ending with “-phobia”; “harmful”; no, I’m not making these up, they’re the literal parody of terms with a heavy emotional impact. It doesn’t matter if they lack meaning. They can affect people on different degrees, but rest assured that the chance of someone not reacting to them [on a subconscious level] is pretty slim. All in all, these words serve their purpose very well. Now let’s put misinformation aside, let’s put data indigestion aside, as well as fragile contestations, lack of investigation, and idealistic visions of societies where we all think the same way.

So, fast forward.

I want to talk about fandoms. Who am I kidding, this was originally 100% about the Killing Stalking fandom. Except between discussing dark content in media, and fandom culture, and looking up precedents, such as Strikethrough (when I say antis remind me of radical religious groups I’m not shitting you but I wish I was), the point became wider. And clearer.

Everything you’ll read from this point on boils down to: Art is bad. Art exists to be bad.

I won’t claim these are my words, people - far more intelligent than me - have been having the same intuition since ancient times.

Homer’s Iliad is about war, mourning and death. It glorifies them on cosmic levels. I have read the Iliad two times. Wow, I guess I think dying is fun.

Euripides’ most famous play, Medea, is about a mother murdering her sons, then escaping. She’s the heroine of the play. In ancient Greece, plays were performed during festivals in public theatres. And I’ll tell you more: citizens who couldn’t afford the ticket participated anyway, because the government paid it for them. That’s because everyone, and I mean literally everyone, was encouraged to witness “wrong, controversial, absolutely vile” things as long as they happened on the stage.

On a lighter note, it’s possible for art to be simply amoral, since it’s how it’s always been, and always will be, as long as we’ll be entitled to free speech. Authors make choices. Either they put their beliefs and opinions into their work or they don’t.

Literature swims in the murkier waters of the human condition.

I’m going to go a little bit into this. When we talk about the horror genre, we should consider its origins. I’m sure you’re familiar with the piece of literature that lied the foundations of this genre, or at least with its renowned title. “Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus” was published in London on New Year’s Day, 1818, and “there was no author named on the title page, and readers and reviewers, almost to a person, assumed the book had been written by a man. They were mistaken.” (New York Times) We modern readers and reviewers, however, know that the Gothic novel that has enjoyed the most enduring popular success was written by a woman. And she was not the first one. Richard Davenport-Hines takes us back to the 18th century, years before Frankenstein was even a draft: “A significant amount of horror fiction of this era was written by women and marketed at a female audience, a typical scenario being a resourceful female protagonist menaced in a gloomy castle.” (Gothic: 1500 Years of Excess, Horror, Evil and Ruin. 1998.) Knowing that women have given a remarkable imprint to the horror genre made me think quite a lot. Is it possible to assume that gothic/horror/psychological are, in fact, some of the few narratives women had (and continue to have) such a deep impact on? And why is that? Answering these questions would be as difficult as determining the brain mechanism that leads us to actively seek the thrill of a good horror movie. And if you claim that a the horror genre is good only when it explicitly condemns bad and vile things, you need to read more books. If you haven’t even thumbed through Frankenstein, you’re probably unaware of its controversiality. I must admit, much as death is depicted with violent and terrifying tones, it’s nothing compared to other works of fiction I’ve met. But what really sticks to you after an afternoon spent between those pages, is human cruelty, as well as the utterly disarming human inclination to error. It sticks to you because it is real. When you pass judgement against fiction for influencing reality, I think it’s a far fetched, if not plainly wrong assumption, because that is not the nature of this relationship, which is simple. Fiction draws elements from the real world. Just what is necessary. Conversely, reality isn’t bended by fiction; and Darwin knew there was no way of Shelley’s tale happening just as well as she did. The extreme and profound emotions her book explores, however, belong to a human’s inner dimension. As debatable as they may be, or precisely because they are debatable, they belong to the pages of a book.

I find kind of hilarious how only a century later a horror story, written by a woman, ends up in young people’s hands and it is immediately considered inexcusable and “nasty” because of “amoral content.”

If you followed me until now, it won’t be hard to understand the next point. Pleasure can be amoral. Either people put their beliefs and opinions into what they love or they don’t. Often, these factors play a big part on what catches our attention; but that’s not mandatory, as I certainly don’t think murdering your son is a nice family activity. Medea is still one of my favorite plays. In school, no one told me this would make me a “murder apologist”.

Whenever it became progressive and almost natural to overlap an author’s, or even a reader’s conscience to a character’s, for whatever reason, I’m sure art will never be really free from this prejudice. My guess is that people simply aren’t able to separate the concept of something real from the concept of a parallel reality [fiction] in which ethical and physical laws aren’t applied in the same way. (And some people might feel so out of place and insecure about their own morals that as soon as moral integrity is questioned for its inflexible nature, the world crumbles down.)

There’s someone out there who will read this and be condescending (I get a tiny bit pretentious, especially since my safe zone is involved) but I don’t really care as long as there’s polite debate.

The article that encouraged me to write down my opinion, while being a superficial source, is an interesting one:

“Literature swims in the murkier waters of the human condition. Conflict and matters of life and death, of freedom and oppression—it is the business of books to explore these themes, and the business of teenagers, too.

New brain mapping research suggests that adolescence is a time when teens are capable of engaging deeply with material, on both an intellectual level as well as an emotional one. Some research suggests that during adolescence, the parts of the brain that processes emotion are even more online with teens than with adults, (something that will come as absolutely no surprise to any parent of a teenager). So, developmentally, teens are hungry for more provocative grist while emotionally they’re thirsty for the catharsis these books offer. Of course teens are drawn to darker, meatier fare.” (Gayle Forman, novelist - interviewed by Time)

What I’m saying is that art is vile. But the real world is also vile. Where’s the catch? Which part of this comes as a surprise?

Here goes the true shocking reveal, though: discouraging the creation of bad art isn’t a way to make reality significantly less bad. Let me put this more straightforwardly.

Censorship means taking away one of the most important human rights, while me writing a story in which a character thinks abuse isn’t a bad thing doesn’t violate any.

At this point, someone could argue that surely I’m not being sensible to abuse survivors, but the reason why I get away with it and Unfriendly Anon doesn’t is that I don’t do anything to directly and purposefully affect another person. So I’m good. Hate to break it down to you, but I’m not in charge of every single person on this site any more than you’re in charge of me and of my feelings. Or of minors and their feelings. Or of survivors and their feelings.

I’ve probably left something out, but hopefully the main points came across clearly. It’s fine if you don’t agree with them. Maybe make sure to understand what you’re talking about before you do broadcast your thoughts.