#we have trimax at home

[merylstryfestan]

Trimax Bookbinding Update 1

i finally started making real progress yesterday! after a week of image formatting and testing various software options, i finally got the pages formatted how i wanted and got them printed!

as a quick aside, this isn't quite regular printer paper. regular printer paper is long grain, so it's easier to fold parallel to the long edges. since i need to fold parallel to the short edges, i printed this on short grain paper. (if anyone is interested in hearing more about the paper, let me know and I'll make a separate post!)

with everything printed and ready to go, i then made sure to organize the sheets into their signatures, checking that the page layout was correct along the way. one of the trickiest parts when formatting for printing was making sure all the two-page spreads would actually be next to each other, so that's mostly what I was checking for.

then it was time to get folding! when i've made books before, i would fold an entire signature together at once. however, with several panels that go all the way up to the center fold, i wanted to be very precise so i opted to fold each sheet individually. i'm glad i did, as the results were pretty much perfect!

now i don't own a book press, but i do have a kitchenaid and some boxes so that's close enough. leaving the signatures overnight in the "press" will really secure in those folds and help the final book lay flat when closed.

that's all for now! next update will be stitching the signatures together into a text block (my favorite part!)

full credit to @trigun-manga-overhaul for the translation i'm using! if you want to read the manga but don't want to deal with whacky translations, their project is the way to go.

[ruporas]

soft (and some bittersweet)

[duncanor]

Do you see it or am I losing it

Volume 2, Chapter 5 : Desesperado

Volume 2, Chapter 6: Home Sweet Home

It’s even in the same volume........ What a nightmare huh..

[aauroralightss]

i love trigun stampede as an adaptation and i always do my best to engage with it as its own piece of art vs. as a reflection of trigun maximum (bc imo that's setting it up for failure!!!) But it always baffles me when people try to act like stuff like vash or wolfwood's new designs aren't explicit changes to their characterisation haha

[ourhouseishaunted]

my brain for the past like 2 weeks

[glo-shroom]

hey guys I just read vol 10. um. promise I did not just sit and cry my eyes out about it <- lying

[nimpnawakproduction]

The ultimate reference sheets for all of Vash's outfits in Trigun maximum (with commentaries)

IT IS DONE. I'M FREE. Now I can forget all about Trimax and draw Trigun stampede designs only hahaha (just kidding I have things for Trimax on the stove).

Trigun bookclub was an awesome initiative, I loved the manga with my all heart and wanted to honor Nightow's designs ;w; I also wanted to help my fellow artists with references for Vash's clothes because DEAR GOD it's difficult to understand how the hell he dresses himself in the morning. I have a lot of fun dressing and undressing him like a barbie doll. My hyperfixation is completely healthy.

I put a "read more" section to avoid spoilers :) !

The July coat

The very first coat in Trigun chronology and the one he wores during the destruction of July ! There is not a lot of panels to take references but I tried to stay as close as possible to the manga. I don't know what number of prosthesis he had before but let name this one Prosthesis 1.

Scars map

Next, nakey Vash ! There's A LOT of changes between one panel to another. Scars changes places and forms panel to panel and the design evolved from the first chapters of Trigun, the time we see him naked as Eriks and his undressed state while he was a prisoner on the Ark. I drew the scars that appeared more than once or were in clean view in a panel (but really you can do like Nightow and draw as many scars as you want without thinking about consistency, this boy has been in a meat grinder)

After July underclothes

Or the jumpsuit that gave me grey hair. His suit does not make ANY sense, I don't know how the hell he dresses himself in the morning with this. My solution is that it's very long gloves and chaps strapped to a belt. The position and shapes of the belts changes IN EVERY PANEL. Same for his knee guards, sometimes they're here, sometime they cover his shins, sometimes they are tiny..... I gave up in the end and draw them as we see them in the very last panel he wears this suit. But damn he looks good in it.

Also in all of the 13 volumes, there is not a single panel with a clear view of his holster (I checked...) so here is my interpretation.

This is prosthesis n°2, the design is a little different from the first one so I guess Prosthesis 1 got destroyed (this happens a lot).

After July coat

The very first Trigun coat he wears in the manga ! Very simple, very basic, it gives him impossibly wide shoulders but Vash deserves it. The first one is worn Post July until Vash's confrontation against Brilliant Dynamite Neon. The second one is the state of his coat after the sandsteamer incident. He loses his prothesis after his fight against Monev the gale. He meets Wolfwood with only one arm and stays that way while he fights Knives for the first time.

Eriks

I took liberties with colors because there's no colored panels with Vash as Eriks. Yes I drew him without suspenders because he has them for like 5 panels and then Nightow drew him without them for the rest of Eriks arc so I made choices ;w;

I love the fact that Vash choose to wear tight jeans even in his casual outfits, this boy will not let his skin breath. This is now Prosthesis 3 ! It's way less advanced than the ones he wore in the rest of the manga, the other ones seem to replicate skin.

After his years as Eriks

And now the first Maximum coat, he wears it until the famous Yuri hospital arc! Finally an undersuit that makes sense, I love it, too bad Nightow-san decided that I had to suffer and changed it again to add BELTS EVERYWHERE. We only see his legs in this part of the manga so I gave him the same top because I can.

The tubes he has on his waist are filled with bullets, he can connect them to his prosthesis to have a mini machine gun.

We are now at Prosthesis 4 !

Hospitalization on the Home ship

The famous Yuri hospital phase! Vash definitely shared his wardrobe with Wolfwood, you can't tell me otherwise.

The first outfit still shows Prothesis 4 but he keeps it for like 5 minutes and lost it again against Nine-lives. I don't really know if the prothesis comes with the integrated glove or if there's synthetic skin under it but why would he keep the glove on if it's not intergrated?

The second pictures is the different outfits he wears during his convalescence. I took liberties with the colors, I drew this in like 10 minutes, everything seems easy when you don't have to draw BELTS. We are now on Prothesis 5 ! Nightow drew it as a regular arm so I guess Vash wears gloves on top of it??????

Back on the road in pursuit of Knives

He wears this one after his stay at Home, throughout the Dragon's nest ark and until his 2nd fight against Knives.

I liked the design of his jumpsuit until I looked closer at the panels and saw that the design change ON EVERY ONE OF THEM. Knee guard on only one knee? No kneeguards? Two??? WHO KNOWS ??? I tried to make it work but really go wild with this one, even the author does not know how his pant looks.

Still prosthesis 5, BUT UNTIL WHEN?

Prisoner on the Ark

THEY MASSACRED MY BOY. Did they even feed him at least in 7 months? Those pictures are the definition of the drenched kitty cat left under the rain. Give this man a blanket and a therapist.

Bye bye Prothesis 5 ! And see what I mean when I say that his outfit does not make sense????? It comes out in parts????

After his imprisonment on the Ark

The last suit in the manga! He keeps this coat until the end of the story. From this point, only his hair changes (or the color of his coat).

I adore the little angel wing symbol on his left arm, such a cute addition. Too bad it appears in one of the most traumatic event of his life.

Speaking of his jumpsuit...The return of belts.... But at least this outfit stays relatively coherent except for his kneeguards who appear and disappear panel from panel but most of the time he doesn't have any, so no kneeguard it is. Prosthesis 6 hello !

Final battle and end of the story

It hurted to drew those outfits ;w; And working on the design of his coat when he fights Legato made me realize where Orange studio took inspiration to chose the colors for Vash's coat in the final episode of Stampede ! Great job ! I tried to color the same effects as one of the illustrations showing dark Vash but I'm not really good with colors..... He actually radiates energy but with some purple undertones, I took some liberties because those are my drawings I do what I want.

I'm not sure at 100% that he has a tuft of blond hair left when his outfit turns black but his hair is all black at the end of the fight. His prosthesis is destroyed at the end of the fight. He got another one in the final chapter. So 7 prosthesis throughout the story!

[chai-licorice]

Eriks, Why I Love Him and Why He's Interesting.

(Spoilers ahead for Trimax, 98 and Tristamp collectively) Please note I am mostly going to be mentioning Trigun Stampede as It is the show I have watched 5 times but I will also talk about the other two iterations!

Eriks is an interesting character, not only is he a disguise for Vash but he's also a form of escape for the elusive Stampede after 150+ years of shit handed to him by his twin brother Knives Millions and the whole of humanity. Vash is a man who has always wanted love and peace, as his catchphrase states but he has never been dealt it. By the time we meet him in Trimax he is fleeing from the people of Jenora Rock, in 98 he is being hunted by bounty hunters and in Tristamp he is- well we meet him as a child but when we meet him as an adult he's hanging next to corpses hung up by the Bad Lads Gang. This is not a peaceful introduction this is pure hell, he's always on the run. And in Tristamp he even acknowledges this.

This is his fate, it always has been and he knows this. But he doesn't care, he loves humanity. So what's his turning point? Why did he run away? In Trimax/98 this is after the events of 5th moon. Since I am more knowledgeable of Trimax in this case I will mostly be discussing it. 5th moon is hell for Vash, his brother who had been gone for so long suddenly shows up again after he (Vash) blew up Julai. And instead of a loving brotherly reunion it's just Knives causing damage and then.. well.. I'll let the panels do the talking.

Brothers am I right? Anyway after this he flees. It's a little different in Tristamp as they fucked with the timeline, making Julai this major turning point and not just a flashback. From Knives literally trying to remake his brother, using his brother to inseminate other plants, their major fight and then.. Knives possibly sacrificing himself..

In this take Vash believes he has killed his brother on top of everything else so it's no wonder he has run off. When we are introduced to Va- Eriks, He has been gone for 2 years. He's found a new family, He's found Love and Peace. He has either gained Amnesia or forced himself to have it in a way of dealing with it. Something that honestly just makes sense for him after the 150+ years of his life. He's still Vash just one that isn't on the run, he has a home and was taken in by a 12 year old and her grandmother. Two people he is willing to protect even if it means embarrassing himself.

He is happy, even if he has his down days. He explains this to Wolfwood.

And yet.. when it all ends he knows he has to return to his life even if it takes some convincing. He had 2 years of peace and now times up.. who knows if he will ever have this again.

Eriks, Vash, you poor soul losing your way after the horrors of he world are magnified once more. May he one day establish the Love and Peace he strives for.

[greetingfromthedead]

Ghost of You (SingleDad!Vash x Dead!F!Reader)

Plot: Your death haunts Vash for years, filling his dreams with nightmares, but for his twins, he will put on a brave face and do whatever it takes to make their childhood a happy one.

Series: Not a series per se, but a continuation of Stormy Night

Pairing: SingleDad!Vash x Dead!F!Reader

Raiting: Everyone

Tags: post-Trimax (minor spoilers), no use of y/n, death, angst, funeral, widow Vash, single father Vash, kids, childcare

Word count: 3.6k

Author's Note: Seems like my only goal in life is making @biancalattei cry. But you brought it on yourself. This is a touch more lighthearted than the previous one, but still, it's mostly pain and should be enjoyed with a healthy side of sad music. that's just my opinion.

"Hold on. Just hold on. You will meet the babies. You have to. We have our whole lives ahead of us. We will be a family. We will see them grow up. You and I will get through this together. Just hold on." Vash's voice has lowered to a whisper as he presses his face into your hair. "We will make it through this storm."

This can't be happening. He clutches you tightly, his arms wrapped around your unmoving body. The moment your grasp on his human hand loosened, he knew that something was terribly wrong, so he did all he knew and pulled you closer. It is just the two of you in the empty room. Vash's ears refuse to hear the voices of the nurse and midwife; the cries of the children are drowned out too. The howling of the wind is nothing more than a faint whisper. The only thing he can hear is the pounding of his heart.

"They will run around the house, and we will play hide and seek until the sun goes down," he continues to whisper to you, the words slurring together where sobs want to escape. "Our home will be filled with laughter and sunlight. And we will live happily ever after. We will see to it that they never have to feel the hardships we did. You are my beautiful wife. I love you more than words can express. You have to hold on."

Vash repeats the same things over and over again, begging you to stay with him, to hold on for a moment longer. He holds on to hope until the moment the midwife speaks the truth, which he couldn't accept. You are gone. You never got to meet your children, the twin babies you had looked forward to meeting all these months. Anything he might try to say get drowned out by his sobs. Tears stream down Vash's face as he presses his cheek against the top of your head. The only sound in the room is his heart-wrenching cries of grief. He rocks back and forth, still clutching your lifeless body and holding you in his embrace. This cannot be true. How could you be gone? This has to be a lie, an illusion, a nightmare.

Vash cried in disbelief and grief. He hoped that dawn would never come because he is incapable of facing the rest of his life without you, no matter how long or short that might be. If the day breaks, it would mean that tomorrow has arrived, and he would have to confront reality without you by his side. He knows that he can't bear that thought. The screaming sobs scratch his throat and echo throughout the clinic, a haunting reminder of the void you left behind.

Vash suddenly sits up in bed, covered in sweat, and he wipes the tears from his face. It's still dark outside, and in a way, he is glad for the hungry cries of the babies in the other room, for they woke him up from the nightmare that, sadly, is a replaying memory. He swings his legs over the edge of the mattress and pushes himself up with a grunt. He is alone in the house with the twins. Luida went back to Home to take advantage of the cold sleep, and Milly and Livio returned to their own house too. They still visit during the day to make sure everything is alright and to help out with the twins, but Vash has now completely stepped into the roles of both mother and father.

He is still half asleep as he drags himself to the kitchen to prepare the milk bottles for the twins. The cries make his gut twist painfully, but he unfortunately only has two arms and can't comfort both of the twins at the same time while preparing their meal. He tries to hurry and finally manages to settle into the recliner with both the children to feed them. He thinks back to before he lost his powers, before his hair turned raven. Back then, he was able to do everything effortlessly, and while he got tired, he didn't get as exhausted as he does now. The hunger didn't hurt him as much either, and he barely noticed the sticky heat. Being truly human is tiring, but he has no choice but to brave through it and keep pushing forward, both for the children and you.

Things have settled into a rhythm; the first few months were the hardest, but now the twins just need to be fed once during the night. Vash tries to remember what he and his brother were like at that age; they grew up rapidly, and while he admired Rem for raising two kids by herself, he realized just how different human babies are. He was already speaking at that age and walked around by himself, while there was a long way to go until his darlings will start to crawl.

The little girl settles nicely into the crib after the diaper change, but the boy remains fussy. Vash holds him gently, with the baby's head on his bare shoulder. He bounces the twin lightly and taps on his back, but the cries don't stop. Vash paces around the room, shushing the child to settle him down, but nothing seems to be working. Suddenly, he hears laughter from the crib under the window. Vash goes closer to look at the little girl, and as he turns to her, the boy quiets down. The baby on her back still giggles, looks past Vash to the wall behind him, and reaches out her hands. The baby in his arms starts giggling too, but as he turns to look behind him, there is nothing but a chest of drawers filled with baby stuff. There are no toys or funny shadows in sight. As he keeps looking, the boy gets fussy again, and Vash carefully turns him around. He calms down immediately.

"What is going on?" Vash mumbles to himself as he settles the baby into his crib. Both seem content and start to yawn soon after. Their eyes largely remain fixed on something on top of the piece of furniture.

Is that really you? Part of him denies the possibility loudly. You don't look like that. Your skin is vibrant, your eyes are bright, and your smile warms his heart. The woman in the coffin resembles you, but her eyes are closed, her expression is neutral, and her skin is dull. He was never supposed to see a sight like this. You were supposed to outlive him in every scenario. How can he bury his beloved wife? How can he accept that once the lid is placed over your resting body, you will be lowered into a deep and dark grave, and he will never lay eyes on you again?

He keeps his blurry gaze on you, as if waiting for a miracle. Vash isn't sure if he has stopped crying since the day at the clinic. He doesn't see the crowd of mourners around him. It is just him and the coffin you lay in. He dreads the moment he has to say goodbye. The pain of loss feels like a physical weight on his shoulders; it wants to press him down to the ground and keep him there forever. Would it be so wrong to lay down beside you and face the future together? He doesn't want to be left behind. He knows he can't do that. Not here, not now.

One by one, faceless people stop in front of him. They shake his hand, they pat his shoulder, and they hug him gently, but he doesn't feel any of it. He is just numb with sorrow; it doesn't feel real. Their condolences fall on deaf ears, and he can't even truly bring himself to turn away his gaze from your body, lying there so still. He is lost in a sea of grief and disbelief. He watches as the people move to you, each one offering you tender words and well wishes as they honor your life.

Vash would remain standing there for the rest of his life, unable to move a single inch, if a hand didn't push him forward. It was Brad, signaling to him that it was time. Vash takes careful steps forward to stand beside the simple metal coffin. You lay in it, surrounded by white fabric, peaceful and unmoving. Vash takes a deep breath to steady himself before reaching out to touch your cold hand. The feeling sends a shiver down his spine, a stark reminder of your absence. As he stands there, memories flood his mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of the love and laughter you shared.

"If only I could have you back. I wish I could have you until I can put into words how much you mean to me. How much I love you. You would live forever because there are no such words. You were sunshine, and now there is only darkness. I couldn't save you. You were my everything." Vash can't hold back the tears anymore, and a sob escapes him. He wipes his face into the black fabric of his sleeve. The twin suns set on the scene, painting the sky with hues of red and orange. As dusk creeps near, candles light among the mourners, casting a warm glow over the desert sand.

"I never thought this day would come," Vash continues quietly as he clutches your hand, "where I have to lay you to rest. I thought you would be here forever, like the moons and the stars, a guiding light even in the darkest of nights. You will never be forgotten, and you will take my heart with you on this long journey. It is so very hard to say it, but I must." He sobs again, frantically wiping away the tears and snot. "This is our final goodbye. And for one last time, I get to tell you: I love you."

Vash bows down and presses his lips against your forehead, where he has left a million kisses before. As he stands up, he takes a deep breath and turns away, his heart heavy with the weight of his words. With one last look over his shoulder, he walks away, leaving behind memories that will forever linger in his soul. As he stands among the others, his hands shake too much to hold on to a candle; instead, he uses them to bury his face, muffling the sobs that press out of his spasming lungs. Someone holds him, their arm around his back, but he does not know who. He barely sees the lid being placed on your coffin, sealing you away forever. The world has gone dark, and he is lost in his grief as you are lowered into the ground, never to return. Vash remains there even as the sand is piled on top of your grave and the people surround your mound with candles before leaving. The flames flicker in the darkness, casting long shadows on the desert landscape as Vash kneels before your grave and sobs, much like the day you died.

His hand is lifted, and something nuzzles into the crook of his elbow. He has to blink a few times to clear his eyes and see his daughter settle in against his side. She looks up as he shifts slightly, and pain flares in his heart as the face looking at him is so much like yours. He recognized you in your daughter the first time he looked at her, and the resemblance has only grown stronger over the last two years.

"Don't cry, daddy!" she says, pulling out a teddy she had brought with her. She throws it on Vash's chest before nuzzling more against his arm. Vash pulls her closer to his side.

"Daddy wasn't crying. He was just sweating." He lies, not wanting his kids to see him like this. . His heart aches at the thought of them worrying about him. He wipes his eyes quickly into his other hand, only to hear pattering feet approach the bed in the dark room. Without saying anything, the older twin climbs into bed and crawls closer to Vash. He settles in against his dad's other side, pulling a cat stuffy closer against his cheek.

"I seep wit daddy too!" he says, throwing an envious look at his sister over Vash's chest.

Another painful reminder of a person he wasn't able to save. As he looks at his young son, he can't help but see the face of his brother. He knows that in reality it is his face looking back at him, but still, the reminder is there, making his gut feel heavy.

"You should both be in bed, asleep." Vash says softly as he holds them both close.

"I wan seep here!" The little boy exclaims and nuzzles more into the warmth of his father's chest.

"Me too!" answers the other kid with a stare so resolute that there was no arguing. She looked so much like you, it was uncanny.

"Alright, just for tonight. You do have your own beds, and this is daddy's bed." He looks tenderly at his two kids, happy to be here in this moment with them. "But no tomfoolery! I mean it, you two. Close your eyes and go to sleep."

He tucks the twins in and leaves his protective arms around them, gently stroking their backs until they fall asleep. He remains awake for a little bit longer, thinking back to the bittersweet memories he has of you. It is hard to believe that this grief will ever truly go away. Every day, he thinks about you, missing you with every breath. He can only hope he does justice to you in his own life. He tries his best to raise the kids you brought into this world, hoping that they will grow up to be just as kind and loving as you were. He still feels guilt for how their lives began and how he nearly abandoned them completely in hopes of keeping them safe. He carries the weight of his mistakes, but he finds solace in the fact that your love continues to guide him, even in your absence. Despite the pain of losing you, he is determined to honor your memory by being the best parent he can be for your children.

He slipped into a dreamless slumber and woke a few hours later, when morning had arrived and filled the room with golden light. He looks over to the empty side of the bed where you used to lay, feeling a pang of sorrow in his heart, but the dark hair of the kid to his left caught his attention. The little boy turns in his sleep, and that's what woke him up in the first place. His peaceful expression brought a smile to his face. On the other side, his daughter uses his forearm as a pillow; her black locks look like a mess, and Vash already knows it will be a struggle to get that sorted out. She has the habit of hiding all the combs in hopes she won't have to brush her hair. One of the little ponytails is sticking up at a strange angle, and the other is barely holding on on the other side.

He has his little family, and while you aren't with them, you are still in his heart. He wonders if he should visit you today, take the kids with him, and say hello. He continues to contemplate the decision, knowing it could bring both happiness and heartache. The main question is if he can keep from sobbing right then and there; he wouldn't want to cry in front of the kids. His thoughts stray to breakfast just as his son lifts his head from his arm and rubs his eyes with his little fist. "Good morning," Vash says quietly as he smiles at his son, hoping to hide the pain inside.

On the other side, his little girl makes fussy sounds as she turns, still half asleep. Vash leans down to gently kiss the top of her head, knowing that he has to be strong for his children despite the turmoil in his heart.

It turns out to be a slow morning. It takes time for the kids to completely wake up, and even more time for Vash to negotiate with them to get the morning routine going. The prospect of pancakes is what gets them all out of bed. Vash gets the twins ready for the day to the best of his abilities, but the nightmares are taking a toll on him. He could lay back down and sleep for the whole day, but he knows his family needs him to keep going. After a quick nappy change and dressing the children, he leaves them to play in the living room, in his line of sight, where he stands in the kitchen preparing breakfast.

As usual, the play that begins rather gently quickly turns into roughhousing and loud laughter as the twins chase each other around for one reason or another. As the chaos escalates, he can't help but smile at their antics. This is how he imagined things to be—a house full of giggles and love. It is just missing you. He longs for the day when you'll join in on the fun and complete their little family, but he is well aware it will never come. There is a tiny part that still feels as if you could walk through the door at any second and make everything right again.

"Hey! No running in the kitchen!" Vash calls out a little sternly as the twins start to chase each other around the dining table. Vash is worried he might have overdone it with that tone of voice and will now have two screaming toddles on his hands, but to his surprise, the two babies come to him, trying to peer up onto the stove with wide, curious eyes. As they are too short to see anything interesting, they resort to playing peek-a-boo with each other, hiding behind Vash's legs. They both hold on to his pants tightly, and soon enough, hang off them. Vash is glad he wears his belt tight nowadays, or they would have fallen down long ago.

"Hey now, kids! Daddy is making pancakes on the hot stove! You shouldn't be playing here!" But the kids continue to dangle from his pants, giggling and swinging back and forth as they peek at each other. "You must be hungry. I will give you your plates if you let go."

Vash's negotiations fall through, and instead the twins cling on to his leg, using his feet as seats. Vash lets out a deep sigh and surrenders to his fate. He resigns himself to the fact that his children are as stubborn as you and him put together. They will never let go. So he twists around to the best of his abilities, reaching out the plate filled with pancakes to place on the table and pushing anything potentially dangerous farther away from the edge of the counter. He lifts his legs, one at a time, with the children still clinging on, and makes his way to the cabinet with the plates. As he sets their plates down, he can't help but smile at the sight of his children's determined faces. Despite the chaos, he wouldn't have it any other way.

With some bribing in the form of syrup and whipped cream, he settles the kids into their high chairs, where they start to fool around with the plates they were given before they see the stack of pancakes waiting for them on the table. Their little grabby hands immediately stretch out towards the treasure that lay just out of reach. Vash smiles as he gives the twins a knowing look, already anticipating the mayhem that would ensue once the pancakes were within their grasp. Predictably, breakfast is just as turbulent as it is most of the time, but this time it is more sticky on account of the syrup. The twins giggle with delight, thoroughly enjoying the mess they had created, but are not that thrilled by the prospect of a bath.

Vash's life is not easy. Despite the sweet moments, there are all the sleepless nights, the nightmares and worries, and two sugar-high toddlers running around the house. His home is filled with noise and life, despite the shadow of death looming in the dark corners. Not a day goes by where he doesn't wish he could share it all with you—the joys and heartaches. He longs for your presence to fill the void in his heart; he misses you with every breath he takes. Yet in some way, it feels like you never left, like you are still watching over them all, guiding them through life's challenges, and celebrating their victories. It would explain why the twins first words were "mama", despite them not meaning him. He takes comfort in knowing that your presence is still felt, even in your physical absence. So he continues to do what he can—his best.

Did you like this? Go check out my MASTERLIST and drop a follow for any and all future projects!

And if you feel like reading more of my dad!Vash, but want to recover from this trainwreck, then I have the perfect thing for you: Little Feet.

[alexiethymia]

vashmeryl

While watching Trigun Stampede, I ended up binging the Trigun ‘98 anime, and I will try, but no doubt fail, to articulate what it is about VashMeryl that makes me so feral, and I mean in all continuities because the themes rings true for the both of them regardless if it’s TriStamp, TriMax, or the anime.

Many people have praised Meryl’s agency in Trigun Stampede, how a lot of the plot moves because of her contribution, and I can’t help but compare this to the anime, where it was because of her that Vash has a breakthrough in how to deal with Knives (after her and Milly took the time to heal and take care of Vash, ugh, found family for the win). In both TriStamp and the ‘98 anime, Meryl is juxtaposed (contrasted? given a parallel with?) Rem. 

And in the ‘98 anime, after Vash’s battle with Knives, he finds the peace to move on, casting aside what was in a way his clutch to Rem (his red geranium coat) to come back home to Meryl and Milly. 

And I love the ‘98 anime because of the implications, that he willingly sheds his outlaw persona for a chance to live a quiet life with Meryl, Milly, and his brother. It was Meryl who gave him the hope to do that, through her words, her invitation to stay together permanently, and even through her actions in standing up for him. (Honestly, the only thing that would have made the ‘98 anime ending perfect for me is if we had Wolfwood. Which is why if Knives could survive 1/3 of the continuities, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that Trigun Stampede is the continuity where Wolfwood actually gets to survive). 

Even in the manga, he makes a promise to return to her, and though he ends up quite late, he does end up making his way back to Meryl and Milly eventually.

I love how there’s a chain of influence that happens, and the parallels between the two. Rem says she had been influenced in her ideals because of the person she loved, Alex. Vash is influenced by her, and eventually Meryl is influenced by Vash to the point that she’s ready to stake her life for what he believes in, such that it becomes her ideals too. 

“You can’t save everyone, you can only be there for them.” And this really rings true for Meryl in that while she can’t save him the way Vash tries to save everyone around him, she can still be there for him, whether it’s staying and trying to help him when no one else won’t (Trigun Stampede), making a home for him to return to (’98 Trigun), or telling him to unburden himself because he’s not alone (TriMax). He’s superhuman but he gets hurt like anyone else. I love that Meryl doesn’t scoff at his ideals or tell him to stop, but just helps him in whatever way she can, the way he tries to help everyone else. She treats him not like some act of God, destruction personified, or a savior, but simply as Vash, a softie who needs a bit of help sometimes (which is why when Meryl ends up scared of him, it was heartbreaking, but again this is something she chose to overcome because her love outweighed her fear). 

But at the same time, she won’t simply wait around. Again, I love her agency. In TriStamp, she chooses to stay behind to help Vash (which was pivotal because who knows if Rem’s spirit would have been triggered if not for her voice) and in TriMax, even if it was Vash who made the promise, when he’s late, what does she do? Goes and meets him herself. 

In every continuity, she’s always aggressively chasing after him. When Vash said in the TriStamp finale that he’d keep running and running, and when it becomes quiet again, he’d settle back by humanity’s side, it sounded so lonely. 

And yet, when Vash runs, Meryl will chase after him. Even when he believes he should be alone because everyone who touches him dies, Meryl still wants to be by his side. Meryl proves over and over again that Vash is loved (in a way, to him as well) because she doesn’t ever want to leave him alone. And again, it’s such a wonderful ending in both versions (the anime and TriMax) that when Vash eventually does stop running, it’s to Meryl (and Milly) that he returns home to. 

[collieii]

i'm sure it's been said but i do love how trimax handles wolfwoods death. i've seen so many stories that have characters die and they just go away after. i'm really used to stories where the other characters aren't allowed to grieve, the story keeps going and it feels like the other characters aren't really affected or get over it really easily. but in trimax wolfwoods death is so important. we see other characters grieving him. vash protecting the orphanage, expanding his power when he really shouldn't, because it was wolfwood's home, even though wolfwood is already gone. he gets an actual burial. vash and livio eating their way through the grief, which is more comedic but still shows us how important he was to the two of them, sets up how in many ways they're fighting in his memory.

even after he's gone he's still present in the story in such a strong way. we can see how he's affected the other characters, even when they don't explicitly mention him it's obvious that they're thinking about him. what he did when he was alive, and his death itself, are so important to the story even after he's not there. not just in a really abstract "this is someone we lost" way (though there are a lot of times his death and sacrifice motivate vash and livio to fight harder!) he's present in the finale in a material way to livio, who uses his serums to help fight against elendira, which ofc also ties into the way wolfwoods choice to ally with vash and fight against knives gave livio strength to do the same. wolfwood showed him that there are things worth fighting for, things worth protecting. that your body is a weapon, but you can choose what to do with it, use it for something meaningful.

and the way vash kills legato in order to save livio? vash outright says that he did it to protect what wolfwood fought for, sacrificed his life for. it's tied to the ongoing arc between vash and wolfwood, their conflict over the necessity of killing others. wolfwood pushed vash into having an understanding of his views when he was alive, demonstrating the necessity of that violence. simultaneously, vash inspired wolfwood to follow his path, a kinder one. vash remembers what wolfwood said to him, and his death gives those words added poignancy. wolfwood well and truly sacrificed everything to protect what he loved and fight for what he believed in. how can vash let that go to waste? he sacrifices something just as meaningful to himself, and he pulls the trigger. it brings him closer to wolfwood in a way he never was before. he understands now, fundamentally, what motivates people, motivated wolfwood, to act as he did when he took lives. there are so many other ways wolfwood is present in the story after his death i can't talk about all of them but it makes me so crazy

[merylstryfestan]

We have Trimax at home: update!

So I have finally had time to get back to work on this! I had to take a bit of a break there since my cat got sick (he's fine now!), so that took up a lot of my time and energy lol.

Anyways, last we left off, I had the signatures folded, organized, and ready to go for sewing. Next step was to punch the holes through the center of the signatures for the thread to actually go through. This involved a lot of measuring, then making a template, then using a cardboard box I had laying around to basically cradle each signature as I used a large needle to poke each hole. Normally, there's a better way to do this, but I was not in the mood for buying materials this week so I made do with what I had around the house.

Then the best part: sewing! I used what's called a french link stitch to sew the signatures together. I used this one because I know it'll work well with the type of case I'm planning on making, as well as because it's quick and uses less materials (no need for support tapes or cords).

And here is the final sewn text block! Considering how low effort this was, I'm pretty proud of it. I even just so happened to have the exact amount of thread I needed, which was nice. Next steps are to get the edges of the text block trimmed, add head and tail bands, and then glue on some support for the spine. All of which means it's finally time for me to actually go buy materials, unfortunately. Hopefully I can get a lot if done this weekend but we'll see!

Bonus picture of my cat "helping" by sitting on top of the last signature right before it was time to sew it in :)

[whatever-you-can-give-me]

clarifying something in regards to my trigun meta, because i’m realizing finally why people get so tetchy with me about it.

tl;dr: can i please talk about canon events of consent violation as an entirely separate conversation from the fandom concept of a ship? i’m talking about what is, not what if.

cw: trigun spoilers, rape, incest. you know the drill.

also, because i made this mistake once before: if you use or interpret this post as some kind of tirade against kv shippers, or get morally righteous about icky fetishists in my notes: fuck off, you do not speak for me, i hate you, and this is exactly why we need to be able to separate analysis and shipping.

moving on.

okay but. people do understand. that rape is not necessarily about attraction or even about sex, right?

when i talk about the scenes i describe as sexual assault in trigun, i’m not saying that it means knives/vash is canon. i’m saying that there’s a deliberate construction to the narrative that makes knives’ violation of his siblings’ consent a driving force of the plot and what eventually screws him over.

i know this is a “yelling in the library and expecting not to be shushed” situation. you can’t take a piss in fandom without someone asking if you have a fetish.

but i really think we can stand to at least not keep putting square pegs in round holes, here.

yes, i know, you tag non-con with a slash too. but i’m not talking about shipping when i talk about knives violating the consent of vash and his sisters. those are two different modes of engaging with consent violation and relationships that involve it.

attraction and desire can be motives behind assault. but it’s not the only or even the most driving motivation. assault — violation of consent — is about power. having and exercising power over another. regardless of that’s to satisfy a personal desire or to force them to comply or just to hurt them.

(this is the same reason that using “pedophilia” as the catch-all it’s currently used as is rather than its actual definition is Fucking Stupid, but i digress)

when i discuss the metaphysical acts i refer to as analogous to rape, i am not saying that knives’ actions and his treatment of vash are driven by attraction (exclusively — that’s a conversation for another post) or that he fuses with his sisters to have an incestuous genocide orgy.

i’m saying that it’s extremely telling how knives treats his siblings, the acts of domination over them and the violation of their consent, their bodily autonomy, and their willpower, when his stated goal is to prevent humans from doing the same.

knives believes in power. that’s the only thing he believes in. and fundamentally, that’s why his attempts to “help” the dependent plants results in far more harm than good, and ultimately in failure.

he doesn’t understand freedom. he understands power. so for plants to be safe, in his eyes, there can be no humans that could hold power over them — the only one with the right to overpower them is him.

in vash’s case, the line blurs — vash is almost a whole, real person to him. he wants his cooperation, wants his company, he does desire him, in one way or another. but if vash won’t listen to him, won’t comply, won’t cede, won’t indulge in power for power’s sake [july incident, trimax] there’s no choice but to overpower him. consume him.

and the other reason i describe these events as assault, as rape — they are not just violations, not just acts of control. they have consequences. knives takes power from his siblings. keeps it, hoards it, so they have no way to challenge him. he literally consumes [trimax] and warps [stampede] his sisters’ bodies and destroys their homes. they cannot go back what they were before he raped them. and neither can vash — knives’ actions, nearly all of them, are designed to isolate vash. to make him terrified of his own body. to keep him from reaching out to humans. to give him nowhere to run but back to knives, knives who will stop hurting him, stop him from being hurt, if he’d just listen.

does knives love his siblings? yes. but when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. and when all you have are knives… well.

shipping is a what if. this is just what is.

[duncanor]

In volume 10,

Do y'all think when Vash rushed to follow Wolfwood, he used his wings?

[beesinspades]

TRIGUN FIC REC LIST (FOR FANFIC WRITERS APPRECIATION DAY 2023)

For years I haven’t been able to participate much because I barely read any fics anymore, but Trigun has definitely changed that, so here it is! A rec list of every fic I’ve enjoyed so far! I have terrible memory and not enough brain power to leave a note about each one, but I put a ♡ next to every fic I particularly loved! They're all rated G or T, but five of them are rated M (mainly for violence and canon-typical heavy topics). A lot (I mean. a lot.) of them have a Hurt/Comfort tag. Most are Vashwood BUT there are 10+ Gen fics and a couple of Mashwood ones as well :3 Please note some of the fics in this list are not spoiler-free!

VASHWOOD

♡ tell me why your hands are cold (show me how) by desertblooms

Beelio’s comment: the first Trigun fic I ever read, so of course it’s a lil’ bit special to me!

♡ terrors don't prey on innocent victims by procrastinatingbookworm

♡ Heavy Weight by eshtaresht

Beelio’s comment: I only read the Wolfwood POV chapter. As the first ace Vash(wood) I read besides mine, it made me really happy!

The Problem with Making Friends by sad_ghost_kid

half your life you've been hooked on death by procrastinatingbookworm

♡ stars by the pocketful by the_13th_battalion

Beelio’s comment: gave me cavities and i said thank you

♡ a phantom's reverence by bricus27

Beelio’s comment: another one of my favorites!

♡ heaven's grief brings hell's rain by JazzRaft

say it's such a fault by procrastinatingbookworm

A Ship and his Anchor by DerringerMeryl

lazarus wept by Bioluminescent

shepherd my flock by Bioluminescent

Beelio's comment: a really cool concept with Wolfwood as a church grim!

♡ a spark of hope is what i'm after by IceEckos12 

work song by AllegedlyAnnie

♡ Breezeblocks by caffeinefire

two eggs, over easy by AllegedlyAnnie

Beelio’s comment: this one is just so funny. trust me. 

dear star and spring bud, my preachers by elemmacil

"Love nourishes, like the rain. We turn the hills green and fill the creeks so they will sing in their creekbeds." by selcouth_raw 

♡♡♡ water bucket blues by fathomfive

Beelio’s comment: literally begging you to read this. good god. I never read first person pov fics AND YET. probably my favorite Trigun fic!

safeguard by the_13th_battalion

in a phrase to cut these lips by gorgongorgeous

Of Nick and Nicholas Names by theMusicmaniac

♡ under the bloody moonlight by spinoffprotagonist

Even Angels Deserve Guardians by glaivenoct

♡ scattered feathers, shattered glass by SpiritusRex

MASHWOOD

and i'll love the littler things by procrastinatingbookworm

To Touch You by hypermoyashi

GEN

The Sobs of a Bear and the Tears of an Angel by loveandpeanus

♡ How Judas Earned His Name by BrownieFox

♡ nobody said it was easy by procrastinatingbookworm

Beelio’s comment: this gorgeous post-trimax fic made me cry which is a feat in itself

♡ if only there was some way to ease the pain by SpiritusRex

the river brings you home by tissuebocks

♡ For the world that we leave, not the world that we found by RedWritingHood

I wanna feel like the work had some meaning by RedWritingHood

Season of the Witch by tragic_unpaired_electron

What Was Taken, What Was Restored (series) by Anxiety_Elemental

♡ If You Had Not Have Fallen by aboxthecolourofheartache

♡ YOU ARE HERE; or, How to Get Lost in the Desert Without Really Dying by fathomfive

Start here by AsterAspera

Now everyone knows about my tastes in fanfiction. If you read any of them, please leave a nice comment for the author if you can, I'm sure you'll make their day! 💜 Happy Fanfic Writers Appreciation Day to my fellow fic writers! Thank you for feeding me (us) so well.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 12 Pt. 3

[ID: A panel from Trigun Maximum Volume 12. Knives is shown with eyes narrowed and a slight smile as he asks "What's your name?" End ID.]

"What's your name?" A name is an identifier, and to ask for it is to acknowledge an individual's identity.

We see this with Vash and his strong memory for the names of all the people from his Home. But interestingly, even with this memory for individuals, and the way Vash clearly never forgets a single person who has impacted him, he very rarely calls people by name, and this goes doubly the closer he is to them. Meryl and Milly are just "the insurance girls" most of the time. Wolfwood was referred to by Nicholas only once (though to be fair, this may just be typical use of a surname). I need to go back and check when I have more energy but I'm pretty sure the only name Vash uses with any regularity is Rem's. Vash loves them, but he won't stick around, nor will he use their names. Maybe if he doesn't use them... he can avoid getting too attached. (Mission failed...)

But it's more than that. Vash's guilt and desire to keep people safe prevents attachment that's true... but so does his philosophy. By necessity, Vash has to refuse to prioritize anyone's life over another's. Getting attached, becoming close enough to want to do anything to protect that person... Vash can't have that, because Vash knows himself well. He is far from impartial. We all remember his "diablo" moment at the beginning of the manga, and his outright murderous anger towards Knives over Rem and July - and that's still with him distanced. Here's his reactions to Wolfwood being in danger in Volume 10, after Vash realized both how much he meant to him and that he was dying:

[ID: Two screenshots from Trigun Maximum Volume 10. In the first, Vash's face is shadowed before he whirls around to show his eyes - wide and pale and furious. His face is shaded with dark lines for dramatic emphasis. In the second, Vash shoves two men onto the ground by the barrels of his two guns. He is hunched over them, again, furious. His face is shadowed completely. End ID.]

To love someone in a personal way is to prioritize them. It is that prioritization that could lead someone to kill another. Vash cannot have that, yet another reason why he self-imposes that distance from people.

You can't be impartial about others' lives... if some are more important to you than others.

Knives meanwhile uses Legato's name a lot! Legato, or Bluesummers, but either way, he is using his name. And I really think that Knives cares (?) in some way for Legato. He asked Elendira for Legato to be brought back instead of killed. Kind of just lets Legato do what he wants (except kill Vash, obviously). He entrusts him to keep hold of Vash for months on end. Legato doesn't have a number like the rest of Knives' followers; just a name!!! I feel certain that Knives used to share a lot more with Legato before Fifth Moon - Legato seems shocked that Knives would withhold info from him, and he knew Rem's name! There was clearly some point of understanding between them at the moment of their meeting. At the very least, Knives appreciates Legato far more than he lets on.

...And he will never let on. Knives treats Legato cruelly... probably because if he were to treat him on fairer terms, it would be a compromise to his principle that "all humans are bad and need to die", that the time for communication is over, that there is no "making friends" anymore. Knives cannot treat Legato with respect.

You can't push the narrative that an entire group is irredeemable and beneath you... if you've grown attached to one of them.

Knives uses names but treats the people as inferior. Vash treats people with respect but rarely uses names and distances himself. Both of them are severely hampered by their strict ideologies that they will not waver from - which guarantees their loneliness will never end.

Vash is doomed to lose everyone he cares for without ever giving himself the chance to love them, or them to love him. Knives is doomed to lose all his connections, past or possible future, and exist as an eternal lonely child who will never make all those friends he once craved. All because neither of them can afford to back down.

And now they really are gearing up to lose each other, for good this time. Both of them, doomed to lose, right from the start.

There are really no victors in a fight like this.