#we love to see it. none of the characters do.

[emblazons]

forewarning: this is the longest "this is mike's arc and I'm tired of denying it" breakdown i've done in a min (it's def about gay mike bar none so. skip if you want)

I keep reading posts about "where Mike is with his feelings for Will" all across the dash now, and...while I get the idea of wanting a Mike as devastated by not hearing from Will as Will was because Mike's aware he has romantic feelings, *Arya Stark Voice* that's not him?

In the show, Mike Wheeler wears his heart on his sleeve. He is prone to emotionality and doesn't really track his feelings within himself the way Will does—is "less interior," for a lack of a better phrase, which both plays dramatically into how things are playing out with both El and Will and makes it (dare I say it) out of character to believe he's as "hurt by his own hope" as Will is when it comes to mutual feelings.

Let me see if I can explain.

First: I think it's important to keep in mind that, at least with Mike, you get someone who will subconsciously act on "inner truths" before he even realizes they're true about him—and someone who will behave according to whatever external reality deems "correct" until he realizes 1) its bullshit or 2) its not true for him personally. We see this season over season:

First with how he willfully breaks rank with authority (his parents, the police, even the community) first to find Will and then again breaks rank with even his friends to protect Eleven in season 1

Then in S2 when he throws "proper" behavior to the wind (which is even slightly acknowledged in Will's 'don't tell the others' / 'crazy together) to be there for + lowkey confess the depth of his feelings to Will (everyone say thank you shed scene)

Again (though slightly different) in S3, with how there's this bubbling thing being gay he doesn't realize has started to manifest itself—cue that comment the duffer's made forever ago about S3 being about "the monster of puberty," aka when people start to understand their own attractions—until the very end of the season with how he realizes he's not attracted to El

And finally in S4, when he consciouslly knows for a fact he's not into El and tries to hide it—quite poorly, because, as I said, he can only abide a "lie" when he doesn't realize it is one—but hasn't yet realized that the thing bubbling up inside him THIS season (that keeps slipping out without him realizing it) is his attraction to/romantic feelings for Will.

In Season 4 especially, its easy to track how this "I can lie...until I know it is one" affects Mike's romantic prospects; we see plainly that his lying about his feelings to El during the monologue was a failure because the power of Mike's whole character is rooted in the importance of him being true to himself and his heart. Season over season, we've seen that Mike has to be honest with people once he knows what he feels in order for his leadership to be effective—and by S4, he knows he doesn't love El romantically (+ has known for a HOT minute, aka since his little S3 post-kiss revelation)—which is why he tries to skirt around the issue with that "I care for you so much" rather than lie to El's face about his lack of romantic feelings.

Basically: once Mike consciously knows something is not right in either the world or inside himself, he has to act on it...or suffer the consequences of his lack of honesty. But then....what does that have to do with him not being the one "not trying to be in love" with Will?

Despite the fandom urge to deny it even in the wake of The Duffers and Finn Wolfhard themselves telling them it's true: Mike being oblivious to his own feelings, or at least consciously unaware, of his own romantic feelings for Will is a solid amount of what's driving his character's growth right now. Mike "friends don't lie" Wheeler has spent the entirety of this show trying to be as honest as possible with the people around him, and we've clearly seen as of S4 what happens when he isn't honest—the world (quite literally) falls apart.

When it comes to his romantic arc especially, it's important to remember this is true, because it means, through logical deduction, that Mike isn't hiding the fact that he has feelings for Will throughout season 4—he's hiding the fact that he's not in love with his girlfriend the way he's supposed to be, which both plays into the whole forced conforming through-line of the season and explains the crux of his narrative even as we are primarily shown that experience through Will's eyes—unreliable as they are. The thing leaking out of Mike without his knowledge is the fact that he likes boys—but the thing he's consciously hiding and lying about is the fact that he doesn't like girls the way he knows he's supposed to.

Now: does that mean he doesn't have a million subconscious responses to things regarding Will—one's rooted both in his attraction to men and his friendly/romantic/evolving feelings for him? Absolutely not. Half of what drives Mike's S4 narrative was built into his wordless/subconscious actions throughout S3, from the way we see him look disgusted with girls when they're mentioned, the way he take's El's hands off him when she tries to kiss him, and even the way he looks conflicted by her kiss at the very end of the season. Just because Mike is consciously unaware that something is happening to him doesn't mean the thing isn't happening—it just means that Mike himself is oblivious to it.

Even so: Mike being oblivious to the fact that he's attracted to men/in love with Will means he isn't consciously trying to keep himself away from Will—which is clear, if you pay attention to every moment before he gets guilted into remembering he has a GF by Argyle.

Basically, the crux of Mike's own experience with his problems is—

"I don't love El the way I'm supposed to, and it's going to cause problems if I can't do that for everyone I care for,"

not

"I am trying to hide my feelings for boys/Will and have to pretend they aren't there to be normal."

—which is a subtle but critical distinction in understanding both where he is by the end of S4 and where he's headed moving into S5.

Now: I get that it's more fun to imagine a Mike fighting his feelings for Will consciously throughout S4, but....that's Will's story and experience of his feelings, not Mike's. Mike is fighting with his lack of attraction to women more than his attraction to men/Will—which is also why you see it slip out so much despite the time/era/what he knows of what happens to gay men in Hawkins.

If Mike knew he loved Will/boys consciously, he'd be much more afraid of himself and Will than he is even as of the last shot of S4—but he's not, which is shockingly telling if you consider how he already knows what he doesn't feel for Eleven. Once he does know what he feels—his "a-ha" moment about liking Will, the same as his consciously realizing he didn't love El "like that" as of end of S3—it will be impossible for him not to address it in himself...and finally be honest/undo the damage of The Lie he told El (he loved her) during the monologue.

That's the (canonical) trajectory of Mike "The Heart" Wheeler—and why him being oblivious to his feelings for Will, not just "secretly longing without wanting to indulge hope he might have the boy he loves" the way Will is experiencing moving into S5. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[klausbens]

honestly i think what i don't understand is why people expect certain things from certain characters. like why do you expect armand to earnestly give two damns about claudia and madeleine, or about anyone else beside himself and perhaps louis, or lestat, or people he has personally developed feelings for and/or entertained a relationship with? hell, why do you expect lestat, even, to truly care about claudia? louis is the one who wanted her, and for his own selfish reasons, no less! to make himself feel better about himself, to feel righteous and good, to feel like he'd atoned for his sins, to feel cleansed. and sure, he came to care for her, to love her, but never enough. never more than he loved lestat, never more than he loved his own pride and hubris.

and that is because each and every one of this characters is selfish, has been selfish, will be selfish. vampires are monsters. they are what's left when you're no longer the human you were, and some of them weren't good people to begin with, and some others have hundreds of years of abuse and trauma in place of human bones, and most of the times both things are true. louis has been warned time and time again, claudia has been warned time and time again, they have even been warned—multiple times—by the people who ended up hurting them the most. they were told there's no such thing as a good vampire, they were told to keep to themselves, they were told to leave, they were warned both with words and with actions. they proceeded to ignore all the warnings, all the signs, and to turn into wretched little things themselves in the process, because that's how it goes.

it confuses me, is all, to see posts where people are so outraged about armand not doing anything to stop what happened, or about him manipulating louis into believing he couldn't, because why did you expect him to? armand is not a good, immaculate entity. he operates under his own set of morals, his own rules, always has. at no point in the show was the audience meant to be fooled by him. we were always meant to be wary of him, because he is a 500+ yo vampire and we do not have a single example in favour of any vampire, really, let alone one so old and powerful. you cannot in your right mind ask this of armand. you cannot ask of him to be a decent, morally irreprehensible character who does the right thing and saves the day, because he was never meant to be that character for you, nor was it ever implied that he would. you cannot ask someone to be something they aren't and then get mad when—well, they're not.

the show is set in a future where things have gone very clearly awry, and the set of characters we are left with were never meant to be easily digestible, regardless of what you wanted them to be. otherwise, they wouldn't be all we're left with. so by all means, be mad at armand, be mad at lestat, be mad at louis, curse their names until you can't anymore—they deserve it! none of them, none of them, is exempt. but the surprise? the absolute confusion as to why they'd do what they each have done? nonsensical. they did all of those things—and more—because they were never good enough not to. they were never heroes. that's really all there is to it.

[hanjsquokka]

Reflections - [ Han Jisung ]

𝟎𝟏. ❛ we were too close to the stars ❜

🍸 CHAPTER SYNOPSIS : Things have been... not so great. You could see that you and Jisung have been pulling away even more and now he wanted to do something you didn't like. Jisung mulls over the state of his relationship with you and tries to think of a way to fix everything. (Read series masterlist for more info)

GENRE : basically second chance romance, fluff, angst, smut, marriage! au

PAIRING : ceo husband! han jisung × fem!reader

CONTENT WARNING : alcohol consumption, swearing, a very small makeout scene, inkling of a panic attack

WORD COUNT : 4.4K

UPDATES : every Saturday @ 9:00 pm GMT + 5:30

☆ skz masterlist ; join my taglist

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minors dni. if you click read, you agree to nsfw content. this series portrays various other kpop idols, none of which represent the actual nature of them in real life. these are fictional characters with fictional personalities. characters depicted in this series are morally grey, they have their flaws just like all humans do.

“Here's the list of applicants you asked for,” Chaeryoung placed a file on your desk for which you thanked her and opened it, scanning over the names. There were so many this time, making you internally sigh as you flipped through the pages, fingers tracing over the freshly printed ink. “Yunseok is running a background check already, he said he'll have the data by tomorrow morning.”

Thank goodness for Chaeryoung and her quick thinking, you didn't think you'd be able to do anything more today after that disastrous meeting you had with Double Knot.

You nodded. “That's good.” You rubbed your forehead, feeling another jab of pain in some part of your brain that you couldn't massage from your scalp. These kinds of headaches were getting more and more frequent with the stress load that had not stopped increasing for the past few months.

“Do you want a tablet?”

You shook your head. “No, it's alright.” You glanced up at the clock, your headache increasing as the minute hand crossed the number twelve, signaling that it was five pm. “I have to leave anyway…”

Maybe you should quit. That was a thought you often had for the past few months during your brisk walk from your office room to the elevator, heels clicking against the floor. Then again, you didn't want to because of your pride. Why should you quit your job at this company? Because your husband was the CEO? You wanted to laugh in the faces of all those people who talked behind your back. Y/n — the woman who got a job only because her husband was a high executive?

“He wouldn't even have this whole company if it weren't for me!” You blinked, taking a deep breath and focusing on the closed elevator doors. It was true, Han Jisung was able to start this music company only because of your wide range of contacts. It was why you were head of HR. So why didn't those people understand you were where you were because of talent and networking and not because of partiality?

But another reason you wanted to quit was the reality of your marriage with Jisung. Being this close was amazing when you two were actually in love, now it was just another place you had to keep up a tiring facade for the sake of staying out of tabloid drama.

Then again, if you stopped working here, you'd have to ultimately give and work for someone else and that was one thing you would never ever do.

So the best option was just to stick here and endure the pain.

When the elevator doors opened with a ding, you were about to step out, expecting the main lobby but you were greeted by none other than Jisung, his suit still crisp as it was when he got ready in the morning, his curly brown hair parted in the middle. Did you not notice the elevator was moving up and not down? You felt your heart thud in your chest as he stepped in beside you, briefcase in hand, and pressed the button for the lobby.

You pulled him closer by his tie as the elevator shut behind him, giggles erupting between both of you as he pushed you up against the cool metal wall, pressing open-mouthed kisses against your jaw and your neck.

“You know there's a camera in here right?” You let out a sigh as he pressed a kiss against your pulse point, feeling his teeth grazing against your skin.

“Let's give them a show, let them know how much I love my wife.” You both laughed again and he kissed you deeply, hand squeezing the flesh of your waist as his tongue glided along your bottom lip. Your hand went to his curls as his tongue entered your mouth, tangling with yours in a passionate dance.

“Did you prepare the list of applicants?” His tone was monotonous, no longer having that sweet ring to it that made your heart flutter.

“I did. Yunseok is doing a background check.” You told him, rubbing the leather strap of the purse you were holding, eyes flitting to the silver band that you used to proudly parade around. Now it was just a reminder of the promises of the past that were broken. Another dull throb of your head made you close your eyes.

“Good.” He gave a curt nod.

Jisung didn't transition from a lovesick puppy to a cold-hearted man overnight. You watched it happen every day, slowly seeing him pull away from you, having pointless arguments, and making meaningless accusations that only deepened the scar that was already there. You'd been married for three years. Three years was what it took for the love of your life to choose his work over you. Three years was all he needed to break that promise he made you in front of everybody, that he'd cherish you for the rest of his life with tears glistening in his eyes, holding your hand so tight that it hurt but you didn't care.

Every day was the same. You'd wake up on the same bed but you wouldn't give each other another glance, heading to separate bathrooms to get ready for the day. You sat at opposite sides of the dining table, eating the food that a maid had cooked.

“My wife isn't supposed to work in the kitchen. She's supposed to be happy and free.”

That was what Jisung said when he first hired help. Housekeepers, a cook, a personal driver, and even a doctor on speed dial. These were the rewards of his hard work. You were happy he was getting what he deserved. But soon work consumed his life. He became stressed and angry and obsessed. You resented it, wondering where everything went wrong after another argument that broke your heart as his footsteps receded.

When the elevator doors opened again, Jisung quickly took your arm and guided you out, an act the two of you nearly mastered after all this time even though your heart yearned for there to be some kind of emotion from his side. Fake smiles plastered over your faces as you walked down the main lobby, saying goodbye to the other people who smiled at you, whispering when they thought you were far enough to not hear their words when you clearly could.

“They're so wonderful, aren't they?”

“I didn't know two people could love each other so much after being married for so long.”

You almost scoffed at the utter irony of your situation. Jisung was quick to pull away from you when there was no one around, getting into the sleek black car that was parked where it always was with the same driver.

The car ride home was silent, as usual. Jisung was on his phone, checking emails while you stared out the window. The passing cars, the bright blue sky fading away into a hue of pinks and oranges, the endless line of buildings and trees — you'd been staring at the same landscape for seven months now, ever since the MIROH Agency signed under your father's company. It wasn't as huge as HYBE Corporations or any of the other famous Korean entertainment agencies, but it was starting to get a bigger name every day.

You turned to glance at Jisung, the light from his phone screen illuminating the features of his face. His eyebrows were taut as he read something, his bottom lip drawn between his teeth. You stared at him for a few more moments before you turned away and looked back outside. You were again drawn out of your thoughts when your phone buzzed.

Soyeon: Are you free tomorrow evening? Let's go out for some barbecue, I miss my girl 😔💔 [read 5:17 pm]

You let out a silent chuckle and typed back a reply.

You: I can always make time for you ❤️ We'll meet at our usual place? [read 5:20 pm]

Soyeon: You bet. Love you, babes ❤️ [read 5:22 pm]

You: Love you too [read 5:23 pm]

Having barbecue with Soyeon was at least something to look forward to, although you wanted to laugh at the irony of how you tell your best friend you love her more than you do your husband. Without her, you would've easily succumbed to your misery months ago.

College you would laugh if you told her the state of your relationship with Jisung.

“We have that meeting tomorrow with the other executives regarding the possibility of creating our own group.” He said, and then added, “And that interview.”

“Huh?” You were met with Jisung's eyes, the same warm, brown, boba eyes that made you fall in love at first sight.

“Was that not what you were laughing at earlier? We got a reminder email.”

“Ah — no, I was speaking with Soyeon…”

“Oh…” There was a flicker in his eyes. “Did something happen?”

“No, she was just inviting me out for dinner.”

“Ah…” He nodded. You blinked. What?

The turn of his head to look at his phone again was a clear indication that the conversation was over. You clenched your jaw and turned your head to the window again.

“Really?” You asked your friend with wide eyes as she told you yet another story of her list of ex-boyfriends and girlfriends. Soyeon was an extremely beautiful and independent woman, you would've honestly been intimidated by her if you hadn't met her in college. With her confident aura and dressing style, she was the embodiment of beauty with brains. Although she had her share of not-so-good relationships.

She was also the only other person in the whole world who knew of the state of your relationship with Jisung. So you frequently ranted to her, breaking into sobs in the middle and then getting angry at yourself and going through the same cycle again.

“I know right?” Soyeon stuffed another piece of meat in her mouth as she continued talking about her recent ex-boyfriend — a guy who stupidly asked for a large sum of money for his mother's surgery, only to be caught in the airport after nearly escaping to Germany. “The audacity of that fucking bastard.” She stabbed a piece of tofu with her chopsticks.

The reason you and Soyeon were quick to become friends was your shared background, albeit you hated her at first — but most good friendships start with hatred. Both of you came from business backgrounds with fathers too invested in stocks and shares and mothers who cared more for their china collection rather than taking care of their daughters.

“Excuse me,” you called the waitress to your table, “can we get two bottles of soju, please?”

“Oh, did something happen?” Your friend asked. You weren't one to drink on a weekday but after today's meeting, you were more than ready to drown your sorrows out with alcohol. “Was your meeting not good?”

You let out a bitter laugh.

Earlier that day . . .

“Why is no one here yet?” You asked as you stepped into Jisung's office, pausing in place as you looked around the empty room apart from your husband. He seemed to have discarded his suit jacket that was hung over his chair, leaving him in his white button-up and a black tie that matched his slacks. You stared at the way his biceps strained against the fabric of his shirt, his (sexy) forearms that were visible after he rolled up the sleeves, and his fingers that were holding onto something, his wedding band glistening from the sun rays that peeked through the light blue curtains.

“Oh, you're here…” He messed up his curls, setting down a few papers on his desk as he gestured for you to sit on the brown leather couches that surrounded a glass coffee table. “I told the rest of them to come at 2:30.”

Your head turned to the clock behind his desk. Fifteen minutes early?

“We didn't discuss the interview yesterday night.”

“Probably because someone went straight to his home office as soon as he touched the front door.” You mumbled under your breath.

Jisung seemed to have caught what you said, his jaw tensing before he calmed himself down, not wanting to cause a scene here. Because, of course, he didn't want to lose the public image of having a bad house life for the sake of his company, so you maintained the lovey-dovey couple image until you were alone with each other. “The magazine was adamant on this and after thinking I agreed —”

“Seriously?” You scoffed. “Without asking me?”

“It's good publicity —”

“Having our non-existent private life known to the world is good publicity? Or were you going to feed them lies through your teeth?”

“Y/n, it's for the good of the company —”

“Of course,” you laughed sarcastically, “everything is good for the company. So you're going to invite a bunch of tabloid writers into our home and tell them a story of how we're so in love?”

“Stop cutting me off,” he said sternly. “It's just a few questions.”

“Why are they so interested in our life? You used to be against these kind of things.”

“I've changed.”

You heard a low chatter coming down the hallway, most likely from the other members of the meeting. “Clearly.” You grit your teeth and took a few deep breaths to calm yourself down just as the other members came into the room.

“Oh, are we late?”

“No, no, not at all.” You shot them a friendly smile. “I just came early. I had some things to discuss with Mr. Han.” You looked at Jisung who had a smile on his face as well, telling them to take a seat so the meeting could start. You sat down on a couch adjacent to him, ignoring his gaze and pretending to read over the content.

Jisung chewed the inside of his cheek before turning away from you, making his mind focus solely on the task at hand and not on the fact that he could physically see another brick go up on the wall that was separating the two of you and he had no idea what to do to solve it.

The meeting went well, according to him. They planned the budget for their three groups that were signed under them, reviewed the trends of the group and their popularity, and even proposed the idea of a tour that they would have to discuss with Double Knot to see their enthusiasm because they were still pretty young. You presented a list of people who wanted to join the company as trainees — which was a new thing they had started after Jisung made the decision to let MIROH join under DISTRICT9 Corporations.

That was another decision that you were against, joining your father's. From the day Jisung met you four years ago, one thing remained constant — your undying hatred for your father and how you never wanted to be associated with him. And yet here you were… because of him.

He told himself every day — it was for the good of his company. You would come around and understand that he had to do this, it was what needed after working day and night for years, ever since he walked home one night while he was still in high school, tears streaming down his face as he was rejected by the one place he'd been dreaming of making a career in.

His stubborn teenage mind set on an idea and now that idea was in full bloom.

Although maybe he had lost track of what was important along the way…

Jisung stopped by your office as he was leaving. You came in your car this morning because you had plans to go out with your friend. He just stood there, watching you through the glass as you packed away your things, his eyes going to your dress, a ghost of a smile forming on his face as he noticed the color.

You always did look amazing in pink…

“Mr. Han,” Chaeryoung startled him out of his daze, making him snap his head towards her.

“Yes?” He tried to act nonchalant like he wasn't just staring at you like a creep. Then again — it couldn't be wrong to stare at your own wife, right? Chaeryoung didn't know anything. So all he had to do was act inconspicuously.

“Your car is waiting… Mr. Hwang told me to tell you.”

“Ah, thank you.” He nodded and licked his lips, turning to look at you once more before heading to the elevator.

Was it weird to be anxious about you not coming home even though it was past ten? When you two were almost strangers now? Well, strangers who had arguments over the dumbest things. Jisung almost laughed out loud when he thought about the argument you two had over the pillows on the couch in the living room, though his smile quickly faded away into sadness.

Arguing. That was all you two did now. Yell at each other, fight, and then go into separate rooms and put up the couple act the next day at work even though, on the inside, you were at each other's throats.

He paced around the living room of the penthouse, looking at the door every two seconds. This was the first time this had every happened — you going MIA for hours on end. And it was driving him nuts. Were you okay? Did you get hurt? Those were the only thoughts that were racing through his mind.

Jisung: Y/n, I know you're mad about the interview but it's getting late, where are you? [sent 8:07 pm]

Jisung: Y/n, I'm serious, this isn't funny. [sent 8:36 pm]

Jisung: Please come home and be mad [sent 9:15 pm]

Jisung: I'm going to call the cops if you don't come home soon [sent 9:45 pm]

Jisung: Y/n, please... come home... [sent 10:02 pm]

You still hadn't even seen his last text. Were you really that mad that you were staying out late? He was getting his jacket about to go out looking for you when he heard the front door click open, basically teleporting there, ready to talk your ear off on how immature it was to be upset about something like that until he saw your flushed cheeks and unbalanced walk as you took off your heels and put on your house slippers, cooing at the bunny face on them.

You were drunk…

He sighed, his frustration melting away as he saw you fawn over the slippers and then look up at him, your face breaking out into a grin, and stumbled towards him.

“Jisung…” You giggled and then hiccupped.

“God… how much did you even drink?”

“Just a bottle… or two…” You started to count on your fingers and then proudly presented the number four.

“That's not two…”

“It's not?” You lifted your hands to your face.

“You don't even drink on the weekdays… your hangover is going to be hell tomorrow.” You didn't even seem fazed by his words, your focus on his hair that you were playing with that giddy smile and red cheeks, twirling his brown curls on your finger which made him feel funny on the inside.

Jisung helped you to the bedroom, laying you down on the bed and deciding against letting you shower because you were too intoxicated to stand properly — what if you fell? He swallowed nervously as he laid down beside you, while you were out like a light moments after he put you on the soft mattress.

His phone vibrated with a notification.

Jeon Soyeon: Tell me when Y/n reaches your house. [read 10:35 pm]

“Ouch, full stop and everything.” He mumbled. Jisung knew Soyeon wasn't particularly enthusiastic with him lately, but he knew her as long as he knew you. He figured she knew about the truth of everything because you didn't listen to him when he told you that this had to be kept between the two of you — you were stubborn like that. And it also explained the sudden coldness of Soyeon towards him.

Jisung: She's here, came back a while ago. She fell asleep. [read 10:41 pm]

Jisung: How much did the two of you drink? [read 10:42 pm]

Jeon Soyeon: Enough to know that the next time I see you in person, you are screwed. [read 10:44 pm]

Jisung decided it was safe not to text anymore, placing the phone on his nightstand. Your best friend was a scary person, a sweet and kind one, but also very scary. He silently prayed that he wouldn't see her in the near future.

The room was quiet except for the soft snores coming from you. Once he made sure you were properly covered by the blanket so you wouldn't catch a cold, he laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling, letting all the thoughts that he'd push to the back of his mind throughout the day flood into his mind like an open damn, along with the ferocious emotions that came along with them.

Did the two of you use up all your love? Was that why things were the way they were? He never imagined a future where he'd ignore you even though his heart screamed at him to turn around and bury himself in your arms and never go away again.

Arguments kept replaying in his head over and over again, the sound of doors slamming, the tense silence that followed afterward. He couldn't even describe the emotion that he felt but it was so… suffocating. Was it guilt? Guilt for pushing you aside? For breaking every single promise that he had ever made to you — to keep you safe, to keep you happy, and to never make you cry. God knows how many times he'd made you cry recently.

His throat felt tight, a sob clawing its way out but he forced it down. He had no right to cry. It was his fault. His fault for choosing his idea over the love of his life.

When he closed his eyes, he was in water, surrounded by deep blue, the feel of water cold on his skin. Bubbles came out of his mouth as he sank deeper and deeper into the abyss, reaching out for help that wasn't there.

He was drowning.

Jisung sat up, taking deep breaths.

It's just a nightmare.

A recurring nightmare. Perhaps it was his subconscious telling him he was close to a path with no turning back, that he had to do something to save this relationship because he knew he couldn't live without you. How could he? He would rather die than live a life without you by his side. And yet here he was, hurting you every single day. His heart and his mind were working in the opposite directions and he didn't know how to make them come back to the same place.

Was it too late?

Jisung looked at your sleeping form, lifting a hesitant hand to your face and brushing your hair to the side. He sat there silently and watched you sleep, wondering if you went through the same turmoil that he did, or did you already give up?

It was the same tug of war every night, he'd go to sleep promising to be better the next morning, only to wake up and it would be the same.

His phone buzzed on the nightstand. He reached over and was going to put it on silent, but for some reason, his gut told him to open the email. As he read over the contents, a plan began forming in his head.

Maybe this time would be different.

⸻ EPILOGUE

College fairs were your favorite part of the year, especially since this was your last year in college. You were determined to do everything so you wouldn't think back and regret that you missed out on something. Although you didn't run your own stall, you loved going through them with your friend, Sunhee. The two of you were laughing at a joke you cracked, eating cotton candy. The sun was shining and the sky was blue — it was your picture-perfect recipe for an amazing day.

That was… until you spotted someone in the crowd. A boy with blonde hair, laughing his heart out at something someone said, he was doubling over, wiping tears off of his face. Your vision tunneled and you could only see him. Like you were in some romcom movie and you were seeing your love interest for the first time.

Your heart sped up in your chest and you turned a deaf ear to whatever your friend was saying. You couldn't focus on anything else other than that boy with that beautiful smile, you never knew you'd find something like that so attractive until then.

And it was like the universe was orchestrating the scene, because that boy somehow met your gaze, his smile faltering as he looked at you amidst the sea of people. You flushed and pushed your friend towards a stall that was selling matcha lattes, telling her you felt thirsty.

A while later and your mind was still on that boy. You were pulled out of your fantasy when someone spoke behind you, “Excuse me?” You turned around. “You dropped this…”

It was that boy you were staring at earlier. He too came to a pause in his words as a flicker of recognition went through his eyes. You took the beaded phone charm that you bought earlier from his hand, wondering how it fell out.

“Thank you…”

“No problem.” He smiled, and your heart stuttered in your chest. It was contagious — you found yourself breaking into a grin too. “Would you like to have some ice cream later? My friend is running a stand…” He asked nervously, pink dusting over his full cheeks.

You nodded, “I would love to.”

He broke out into that eye-crinkling smile which you noticed was heart-shaped now that you were standing in front of him. “Really? That's great!” Someone must've been calling him because he looked back and then at you again, taking a few steps back, “It's beside the dart game stall.”

You called out to him before you completely lost sight of him, a smile still on your face as you put your hands beside your mouth to amplify your voice, “I don't even know your name though!”

He turned around once more, mimicking your action, “Han! Han Jisung!”

⸻ COMING UP . . .

“When was the last time we went on a trip?” “Our honeymoon?”

“Oh, Y/n, how are you?” “Who is he?” “Just someone I know from college…”

“Something is going on between those two…”

“Please… just stay with me…”

AUTHOR'S NOTE : AHHH the first chapter. I would like to clarify I do not know how to run a company, I've written this after watching many TV shows — and speaking of TV shows, this is also highly inspired by Queen of Tears (I'm at the end of Episode 16 as I'm writing this). I would love to hear your feedback through comments and reblogs because this is the first time I've written something like this. See you next week ♡

©hanjsquokka | copying, translating or republishing my work is strictly prohibited

[misfitgirlwrites]

Lucifer Having A Crush On You/How Would He React?

I'm not biased, I'm not biased, I'm not biased, I'm not biased, I'M NOT--

It's time for my fictional love and life and all I hold dear in my daydreams. Bitches, bros, nonbinary hoes, and genderfluid fucks, I present to you the Big Dick in Charge

I may reference works that I've read and when I do I'll drop their @ and link to their story it is law that you read it if you read mine, I don't make the rules

CW: none, slightly angsty but nothing too intense!

Alright, doves, this is post-season one. Lucifer now resides in the hotel with everyone and is slowly adjusting to being graced with Alejandro's Alastor's presence every day.

Let's be honest, our baby pays attention but puts in minimal effort. Saying that the days went by in a blur would be an understatement. Even conversations would be forgotten after a few short moments. On to the next task. Full focus on this thing. Once that's done? Well onto the next task! No tasks? Free time to spend with Charlie!

Things would start slow, and to really interact, you'd most likely start to approach him first. Maybe you've spent long enough watching the blond anxiously bounce around the hotel and graciously give himself a bit too much for even the Big Boss of Hell.

A timid approach from you, offering to help with whatever he's currently doing. Maybe you make snacks for everyone in the hotel and hand him his personally :)

And so it begins! A greeting here, a greeting there, slightly awkward conversations that slowly start to feel less forced with the little information you learn about each other along the way.

It's...nice! Refreshing! Lucifer would be more excited than anything and talking to you would become a part of his regular routine without much thought on the matter. You'd occasionally be on his mind just a little more, and he'd start to seek you out himself too.

I know you're already seeking him out. Bitch I'M seeking him out.

Helping with chores around the hotel quickly turns into simply enjoying the other's company.

One day you gift him his very own ceramic duck! You could have paid for it from somewhere or made it yourself.

Either way, he'd fucking LOVE it! Honestly, if you decide to try your hand at making it, he'd love it even more with all the rough edges and little bumps (it was made out of love for my babies who never touched clay in their lives)

In response, please expect many gifts in return. I like to think it's been a while since he's gotten a genuine gift like this

(Bonus headcanon: Charlie will see this and will come to you the next day with a list of things she wants to gift him and you two are unofficially officially the Buy Lucifer Anything Duck-Themed duo)

Lucifer loves how you react when he gifts you your very own rubber duck. Your smile and happiness always seemed contagious to him. It only led to him making/getting you more things.

You will have a rubber duck collection by the end of this, but what can you really say? Each one of them is based on something you mentioned before. A movie character, a book character, a cartoon character, even friends or family members if they were mentioned. The gesture is way too sweet for you to turn down, even if it is the 30th duck you've received.

Now prepare for what I like to call the "get along t-shirt" phase but both parties are willing LMAO.

Lucifer will be by your side as long as you'll accept the company and if you're reading this and we brain the same, that will be all the time.

I love the GenZ!Reader memes and fics. Someone show this man bacon pancakes and if it was already done, SHOW ME.

Between his relationship with Charlie and with you, Lucifer actually feels the need and wants to be a little more present bit by bit. He notices that he is spending less time in his head, but he continues on in fear of fucking it up if he thinks too hard about it.

So instead he'll 100% focus on the little familiarity of happiness, as small as those moments may be sometimes. This is EXACTLY why the thought of him potentially feeling romantic interest again goes right over his head.

Who notices first, you ask? Charlie, of course. You slowly but surely became one of his main topics in conversation, it wasn't hard for her to pick up on it and ask.

Baby boy would straight up deny it at first. Him?? Liking someone else??? LMAO, am I right? Of course, after he does this, he'll have the time to actually pay attention to his actions.

So then he'll notice how excited he is every morning knowing that you'll be the first face he sees. He'll notice how he managed to fit you into any task he had to do. When he'd get lunch for himself and Charlie he'd have the automatic thought of making something for you as well. Even when the day was over, he'd be thinking about spending the next day with you. To be frank, you were constantly on his mind. 

Once he notices it's a big mental "fuck". Nothing about you is wrong of course, it's him, or so he thinks.

Let's start with the elephant in the room, or shall I say the ring on his finger lmao

In Lucifer's mind, he's still married technically. Even thinking about it in a technical term was a new development and it made him feel absolutely horrible. Lilith left, sure, but who knows what happened? Regardless of how he felt, he didn't want to hurt her.

But at the same time what about him? Lucifer hasn't been happy in a long time and he's finally building that again, not just with Charlie, but with you as well. He didn't want to just cut you out, he didn't want to hurt you either.

Plus, did you even like him? How would he even approach you? If he wanted to, even after thinking about everything.

Who was he kidding, of course, he still wanted you!

@liveontelevision *drops to my knees and bows* they worded it extremely well here and if you're reading this but you haven't read this already or you clicked the link then clicked back here, go back and read it. I don't care how long it is. Do the thing then come back.

Welcome back. It was good, wasn't it? I know.

The only awkward period for you two is the week-long contemplation of everything (half him attempting not to do what he always does when stressed but by the time he realizes he already made like 30 ducks--)

He would clearly go out of his way to either try and talk to you or avoid you. Or a cute mixture of both where he makes a scene approaching you, realizes he's not ready yet, then makes a scene so he can disappear *finger guns*

A little crisis here, a few little rubber ducks there, and a looooonnnggg conversation with Charlie and Maggie Vaggie.

Those are the ingredients to a semi-stable Lucifer with enough bravado to talk to you normally again.

He'd apologize for the times he basically pulled a Houdini in your face and he'd explain himself fully, all while also confessing his love for you.

It's choppy, it's fast-paced in some areas, and the poor blond was ready to disappear at any given moment, but that's what made it so real for you.

The weight that's lifted off of him couldn't be described, and neither could the joy that welled in him the moment he saw your beautiful smile and heard nothing but your acceptance and love.

What an emotional roller-coaster, am I right?

Lucifer Taglist: @alastorssimp @saints-wrapped-in-plastic @heart-of-the-morningstar

Requests are open! If you'd like to be tagged in future Lucifer or Hazbin Hotel content, please let me know! My asks and DMs are open to all!

[estelle-petty]

Alternate “Love in Vain.” Cody doesn’t call. That’s it! That’s the fic! 😂

Rogue clonked her phone back in its cradle. “Don’t you hate it when you tell someone they got the wrong number, and they argue with you? I know I have a lot of characters floatin’ around in here,” she gestured at her head, “but I’m a hundred percent sure I ain’t Linda from the Yonkers Craft Expo.”

Gambit snickered with a look of pure engrossment, shaking his head in delight. “Indeed. Linda sound pretty boring to me.”

“Oh, I bet you think you could liven her up though, honey-tongue— the way you came in all gussied up to go out on the town.”

“We don’ have to go nowhere. You don’t even have to get out of your nightgown or put down your book, ‘less you want. A date can just be you an’ me in the same room.”

God, this man’s standards couldn’t get any endearingly lower. She puffed some fallen white hair out of her face. “Welp. You ever seen Baywatch? It’s kind of a guilty pleasure, like these Harlequin stories. Hnh. What am I sayin’. Of course you have. Men sure appreciate the um.” She rolled her eyes and made curvy gestures. “Casting.”

“Eh. That show irrealiste. Petty t’ieves always blowin’ up oil rigs or something. Nobody that dumb.”

“So your big takeaway from a show fulla bathin’ beauties is the shitty portrayal of crime?” she laughed.

“Oh, I see them beauties. How do you think I do all my trainin’ for look don’t touch?”

“You can always use more of that. Alright then. You, me, and bad TV it is.”

“Ey, what happen to your bedpost?” he asked, finally noticing.

“Trainin’ for knockin’ your dang block off.”

They sat on the rec room futon in the glow of the TV, under a blanket.

“Aw hell, this is one of those filler episodes with like three beach montages,” Rogue said.

“Yeah, I hate watchin’ people just enjoyin’ themselves,” Gambit winked. “You gotta have filler in life, chere. Can’t be all life-or-death drama.”

She looked him over. “The way you dress like Don Johnson on Saturday nights, I feel like we should be watchin’ Miami Vice reruns instead.”

“You love it.” He pulled off his scarf and draped it around her shoulders.

“Didn’t say I didn’t.”

And it happened—the long, hungry look that usually made her run. She didn’t, but she wasn’t above a quick subject change. “God, they use same underwater footage over an’ over.”

“Well, folks can’t hold their breath forever.”

She knew this wasn’t a dig at her, but she retreated into overthinking. “…you’ve been tryin’ for a few years with me, Remy.”

“Chere. Don’t. That’s never what this feel like.” He pulled her hand out from under the blanket and kissed it. “A barrier doesn’t phase me none. It’s you underneath. That’s all that matters. It’s the 90’s. Everyone big on protection, non?”

“Oh yeah, I’m blendin’ right in with today’s generation. …I-I’m sorry. I just can’t seem to stay off this topic, can I?”

The silence wrapped around them as the TV continued its soapy glow on their faces. Gambit didn’t realize that she’d mostly fallen asleep on his shoulder.

“You know why I like this show?” Gambit said. “I can relate, ‘cause Rogue always come to Gambit’s rescue.”

“…..mhm. Cuz iloveyou, caj,” she mumbled.

He exhaled hard. He knew the declaration probably didn’t count, but he clung to it like a life ring.

[littlespoonevan]

i think it's funny that there's a sort of inevitability to buck and eddie becoming a popular ship when you look at the start of s2. and it's not because they're two attractive guys or because of their chemistry or even because of what their relationship becomes later on. it's because of how eddie is introduced and folded into the narrative

with abby gone, there's a void in the show

maddie slips into her role at dispatch, taking over that 911 operator pov and offering the compassionate and clever perspective abby brought to the emergencies she dealt with

eddie, on the other hand, takes on her role in buck's life

abby is the person buck spends the most time with on a one to one basis in s1. abby is the one he talks to and who also confides in him when she's struggling. abby is the one he makes a conscious decision to step up for at the end of s1.

with her gone, it would make sense narratively to introduce a new love interest for buck. instead they introduce his sister (a dynamic we understand already exists, even if we don't know it yet) and his new coworker/best friend (and rival for approximately 20 mins lol) and everything abby was to buck and was for buck basically gets transferred to eddie. this is the person he's spending time with now, this is the person confiding in him, this is the person he can show up for over and over again because he wants to

i remember when i was watching the show for the first time back in 2021 i was trying So Hard not to get sucked in to buddie so i was very much watching as an outside observer. and i remember watching those first 4 or 5 eps of s2 and thinking, 'oh yeah i see why this is a thing because if this was a man and a woman all of this would be hinting to them falling in love down the line'

and even all these years and rewatches later it still reads like that!!!!

so much of those first couple of eps is orchestrating moments to establish buck and eddie's dynamic:

buck reassuring eddie during the earthquake that chris is fine before bringing eddie to pick him up at the end of the night (vs. say, buck helping abby look for her mom when she's goes missing and reassuring her, until he brings her to the hospital once she's found - significantly their first meeting and the thing that changes things between them).

and then buck taking eddie to the hospital when pepa calls about isabel's accident, giving bobby a head's up about eddie bringing chris to the station, discussing eddie's struggles with maddie bc he wants to help, calling carla to help eddie with childcare (all a direct parallel to bobby's encouragement he step up for abby and the way he did try to do that before she left)

those first few eps tell us eddie is Important to buck and he is personally invested in trying to make eddie's life better/more manageable (and on the flip side, they obviously need to create connections between eddie and the other characters if they want us to root for him. and with bobby and athena together, hen with karen, and chimney about to meet maddie for the first time, the only person missing a counterpoint is buck)

and none of this is me saying the show intentionally put eddie in abby's shoes (they definitely didn't) but from a purely logistical perspective of making eddie buck's primary new scene partner and when you consider the show didn't make the effort to establish ali as a new viable rival to what abby was for buck, it's like, of course people are gonna latch onto eddie and buck's relationship instead!!!!! of course this is where we were gonna end up!!!!!! what else did you expect!!!!!!

[asterythm]

on the ending of in stars and time:

an essay from someone who couldn’t sit with it at first, & a love letter to the fic that brought me here anyway. (…spoiler warning for in stars and time, naturally, but you knew that!)

if siffrin isat has taught me one thing it's that vulnerability is cool, actually, and being forthcoming and generous with love when there is love to be shared is how the coolest kids do it.

so. hello isat nation of tumblr dot com. i'm here because even after cutting out several chunks to shorten this significantly, i busted through the ao3 comment section character limit and still had more to say, so i needed somewhere to put it all that would let me go longer.

i’m pretty sure this post is for, like, three people, one of whom is me. but look, it’s been moved here to the webbed site so if you wanna read it anyway i won’t stop you!

=====

i think what it is, ultimately, is this: the ISAT canon ending was beautiful. it was an objectively well-written ending with so much love and hope and thematic satisfaction.

it also left me, for a period, with a deep and unshakeable sense of dread.

:)!!!!

now enter @faedemon's "None Forward & Two, Two, Two Steps Back" (hiya, fancy seeing you here), a two-chapter alt act 5 in which siffrin finds a New, Worse way to break the loops.

despite being, as mentioned, a notably worse outcome for everyone involved, this alt end managed to cut straight to the heart of that dread and settle it — and not in the sense of "oh, i like this alt ending better", so much as "oh, thanks to this alt ending i am finally able to sit in a place where it no longer feels like the canon ending, as a beautiful outcome which felt impossibly lucky to get, is the only outcome in which life can go on — and therefore my appreciation and ability to accept it, and the game as a whole, is elevated for it."

which!! i mean!! i don’t know that that’s exactly what you set out to do; None Forward is explicitly a tragedy!! and one, as your tags say, written because the canon ending didn't ring true for you.

but I realized that the thing that was stopping me from enjoying ISAT’s canon ending was that ugly hard core that was still so, so scared after the canon ending of every way we (that is, siffrin + i as the player moving in that incredible ludonarrative lockstep with him, holy moly the harmony in this game) had not yet grown to earn it. 

=====

(I’ll take a sec here under the cut to say that when I played ISAT, and then for much of the month that followed, my main reason for engaging with it and its related content at all was that it was a piece of media that came fervently recommended by my incredibly dear friend @iconocat , who it had massively, violently impacted and whose media recommendations in general I trust more than anything.

so i played ISAT, and it was incredible. but even though it's a piece of media that just about hit on every point on my list of Things That Set My Brain On Fire, it failed somehow to. well. set me on fire — at least to the extent I was expecting it to. I still enjoyed myself in the few weeks afterwards of running through fan content and intentionally plunging myself into media analysis, but I was never convinced that I would be engaging with ISAT to the extent I was if it wasn't for the sake of trying to intentionally hack my brain to the point where I could share with my friend something so important to her at the same level of genuine investment. 

I’m telling you all this because, legitimately the same night I posted “nothing but a dull ache” (ie, if you're not charlie faedemon and are somehow caring to read this anyway, the epilogue oneshot I started feverishly writing the morning after reading None Forward), I realized through my rambling in my friend’s discord dms that reading None Forward was the moment the fire finally caught. I spent a month burying myself in ISAT content and asking myself “Is this natural yet?”. after None Forward, the answer to that question finally became a sure, wholehearted yes.)

=====

so anyway, back to the essay.

don't get me wrong. it's really, really nice, to read a story where the moral is less “you should have asked for help", and more “there are people who will unselfishly give the gift of a love that saves even when you cannot save yourself".

but that whole ending also was only able to happen because 1. they broke in a way no one should ever have to break, and 2. everyone involved got lucky.

which, in media, happens all the time!! it is not inherently dissatisfying for a narrative to wrap by saving you with luck and love in the nick of time!! in fact it should be incredibly satisfying, after the unambiguously-negative downward spiral into Director Siffrin who had begun to learn what to say and do to make his family behave exactly the way he needs them to, for a stroke of unpredictable luck brought about by factors entirely out of his control to finally be what sets him free.

but like... I think it's because the story is set in a situation where it's no longer true that luck and randomness is a factor by which anything significant can change.

we're hammered over the head with it: until and unless you do something to alter the course of events, they will not be altered. when you are the only dynamic element the world is reacting to in an otherwise looping course of events, you don't get to rely, anymore, on the idea that at any moment something could happen to save you. you have to assume that nothing will happen unless you make it.

and siffrin?? siffrin's literal motto was "stick to the script"!! they spend the loops with a mouth that kept closing tighter and tighter and tighter until i got to act 5 and watched them implode. and then I’m saved, and I know I haven't earned this. I get to the end and I'm still not telling them anything!! I wasn't supposed to get the good ending!! but I get away with it anyway with open arms and acceptance and unconditional love, and it's. kind of nauseating?

how am I ever supposed to learn and grow, if I didn't manage to change my behaviour even then under the threat of Eternal Looping Torment, and still got the good ending anyway? how can I prove there was an alternative way I could have broken free if things hadn't turned out so lucky in that one terrible act 5 loop?

I can't. and that's terrifying.

(aside: I’m speaking in the first person here to emphasize that the thing that got in my way is not because I don't believe siffrin is deserving of this love — quite the opposite, I think the driving force behind the good ending is that siffrin went scorched earth and saw he was loved anyway — but because this is a game designed to frequently encourage the player to deeply feel what siffrin is feeling throughout its course and. well. as a thing to happen to a fictional character it's beautiful. as a takeaway for the player, it's... harder.)

and that's where None Forward comes in. (i’ve already written thousands of words in comments and epilogue fic declaring my love by now, but i mean. im hoping you won’t mind just a liiiittle more.)

None Forward shows a devastatingly written, all-too-believable version of what might have happened if siffrin didn't get lucky, and the loops continued, and they kept clinging to the script and refusing to Look At It and successfully stagnating and stagnating and stagnating as they were so determined to do. and it's bad, it's worse, it's way way worse — but there's no reliance on outside factors. it comes completely from within siffrin and loop, the only dynamic pieces in the world, finally breaking out.

it was the terrible, nightmarish unfairness of the loops brought to their natural, just-south-of-inevitable conclusion.

and yes, it's a terrible, unfair conclusion, but the loop still breaks.

in a roundabout way, it... gives me so much hope. if the outside factors were different, if the stars did not align just right to allow siffrin's family to get there on time to save them, if siffrin never learned to open their mouth, which by all means seems like the likeliest course of events... they'd still get out. worse for wear, and separated by a gap unbridgeable, but out.

there is a future. there is freedom.

=====

to speak more specifically on dull ache, if you'll forgive the indulgence, just since this was originally meant to be in a reply to the author in my own comments section:

I think I so desperately needed to write it with a focus on the family siffrin left behind because I wanted to prove, if just for myself, that in that barely-dodged alternative there still could be a future for everyone. (isabeau's just happened to be the voice in which dull ache came to me, but the point was to create an epilogue for all four.)

for the rest of the family, who was not quite so deeply ravaged but was still left in a bad way at the end of None Forward, and for whom randomness is not pretty much unequivocally good just by virtue of being better than the alternative like it is for siffrin and loop (more on that in a sec), I could see it mattering more to set specific pieces up precisely, and I could actually imagine the pieces I could set up that could have a meaningful impact in the immediate future.

so. y’know. I set them, in the way I happened to want to. granted, with some extra... divine indulgence, but siffrin's departure from their family's perspective at the end of None Forward was definitely Wrong but not so obviously wrong that I could believe that without it they wouldn't otherwise either (a) go hunting him down to force out the truth, which felt Worse, or (b) just "accept" that it was as simple as Siffrin not actually caring about them/brushing them off and thus intentionally fade him into the distance in their minds to deal with it. which felt like the WORST POSSIBLE THING.

you'd think it might make more sense to have done this for siffrin and loop, instead. they're arguably the ones who need it most, after all, so why not build them up from rock bottom as a sweeping show of "things get better"?

but... i think it doesn't need to be written to have faith that it will happen: the very fact that Siffrin is about to set out on a new journey in a reality where everything is a dynamic player just. immediately gives me hope all by itself. random lucky things that save you are so much more believable and wonderful when random lucky things in general are happening all the time, and you have all the time in the world for them to happen.

and anyway, I don't think this is the kind of future you’d write satisfyingly as a sequence of events at all. to heal from this is something that will take an incredible amount of time and nonlinear progress. 

until one day, through a series of disconnected small quiet gloriously-random lived experiences, without knowing when it happened or being able to trace it back, you realize, oh —

somewhere along the way, you came to know how to live again.

[fruity-phrog]

I HAVE ARRIVED FOR I AM ON A RAREPAIR TRAIN TODAY

MAY I HEAR THE WONDERS OF RUTHLICE?

YOU MAY YOU ABSOLUTELY MAY. [claps hands together] Let's go from the top.

Ruthlice my darlings. To understand Ruthlice, you must understand Fleming Sisters, in which Charlotte Sweetly was born as Charlotte Fleming. Her and Ruth are not particularly close per se, but when CCRP hosted a barbecue and encouraged employees bring their family, Charlotte brought her then-ten year old sister. Paul brought his nephew and Ted brought his brother, and the Nerdy Prudes were formed. And Bill? Bill brought his daughter. Alice and the Nerdy Prudes were quite close until she was sixteen/seventeen (if there's a canonical age Alice was when she moved lmk pls pls) and moved to Clivesdale for 75% of the year. While they were all quite close, Richie and Pete mainly kept in touch with Alice through Ruth, and the two called almost every day because Alice was so different from Ruth, but they just worked.

Think about it. Ruth doesn't have the confidence to be herself, to be an actress, in any place but around her close friends. Alice is a screenwrite who doesn't let a lot of people read her scripts. Just imagine the possibilities!!! Alice accidentally writing her main character in image of Ruth and not realising until she asks Ruth to do a cold read of a scene. Ruth performing the monologues she knows off by heart from the lighting desk for Alice. ALICE WRITING A ROMANTIC SCENE AND HER AND RUTH READING AS THE TWO CHARACTERS!!! The performer who can't bring herself to act and the writer who can't find actors...it just slots right into place, doesn't it?

This isn't saying I don't like Deblice. I adore Deblice. I think Deb's a really cool character. But A) My dear Alice has two hands, and B) I am a multishipper to the max. And think about how funny it would be considering how Bill doesn't like Deb:

"Dad I have a new girlfriend" "You finally dumped Deb! I knew you'd see reason, sweetie-" "No I just have two girlfriends now." "Oh, uh-" "And the second girlfriend is Ruth Fleming."

He wanted his daughter to date more respectably, and got Ruth Fleming. Perfect.

And think of the angst!! Ruth and Alice both terrified that the move will mean their friendship falls away. Alice's mum not approving of Ruth, but Ruth is the only person Alice finds comfort in talking to in this strange new town. ALICE IN NPMD GETTING A PHONE CALL FROM A SOBBING CHARLOTTE.

And I'm gonna divulge a bit to talk about the angst of Fleming Sisters. We don't know if Ruth's death is a constant like Ted's death is, but think about Charlotte in Workin Boys. She can't come to her sister's show for whatever reason, but later that night she gets a visit from the cops - not Sam, but actual functioning ones. Imagine learning your sister and your boyfriend died in the same night, at the same hand, of a man who isn't even alive anymore to pay. THE IMPLICATIONS!!!

Those are all the functional thoughts I have about Ruthlice so far, with a few speckles of Fleming Sisters thrown in as a bonus. I am severely unwell about that entire trio, Charlotte and Ruth and Alice, and none of them have ever interacted with any of the others in canon 👍

Thank you for inciting that infodump, death, I've been thinkin about them a lot recently 👍

I love the thumbs up emoji

👍

EDIT:

Since I’ve decided this is my Ruthlice conversion master post, here’s the not so good oneshot I wrote of them. I love these idiots.

[ch0-fuyu]

Suni talks: Chainsaw Man and the over-s*xualization of some of its characters....

From women to female characters, they all were, are and will continue to be the objects of all men's desires. Nothing is different when it comes to the anime community. In fact, it only gets worse.

Not only do some fans seek to s*xualize some characters for their own 'enjoyment', but they seem to be encouraged. In same cases, the mangakas, the anime studio, the merch producers and other unofficial sellers of merchandise contribute to the damaging viewing of female characters...

(small break) This reminds me of the TikTok an 'anime' guy made in which he implies he stole the virginity of his body pillow of Demon Slayers' 12 to 14 year old Nezuko. That's exactly what I am trying to hint at. These people will s*xualize female characters despite their age and no matter if the 'right' content will be provided for them. That's why I personally think they shouldn't be given 'what they want' (s*xualized figurines, body pillows, etc).

My inspiration for this post was a certain series of Chainsaw Man figurines of some of its female characters dressed in playboy bunny costumes.

With just one search of "Chainsaw Man Figurines" and below a minute of scrolling, you will be greeted by the pictures of Makima and Power figurines dressed in playboy bunny costumes. While Makima is depicted as an adult, Power is not. And besides their ages, which i could not find anywhere, Power is made out to be Denji's first friend, a 16 year old. Most of the times, she behaves much more childishly than Denji, so no matter her 'real' age, the viewers are meant to believe she's only a teenager.

Now it's true that Chainsaw Man is a story which revolves around a teenage boy so the s*xual side of it is mainly present because of that aspect. However, not all anime fans are teenagers and this content, whether it's shonen anime, merchandise and even h*ntai (oh god, the territory i'm crossing here), can be consumed by anybody.

There are plenty other female characters that are s*xualized without having a 'sexy figurine' made of them, including Himeno (supposedly in her mid to late 20's and is also a romanticized s*xual abus*r), Kobeni (20 year old), Reze (supposedly late teens to early 20's, shown wearing little to no clothing in the manga) and lately Asa (mid to late teens). It doesn't take much to be seen as an object.

And don't get me wrong, I love Chainsaw Man. I am currently reading the series and I'm not anywhere near dropping it. It's entertaining and its approach is really different from usual shonen manga. However we can't not acknowledge the flaws in some scenes and merchandise pieces.

Some people might say not only female characters get over-s*xualized in the anime community and that's absolutely right! Again, some men have been getting mad after the second season of Jujutsu Kaisen got released and seeing all the "female" fan service of Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Nanami Kento, Kamo Choso, etc. There have been understandably terrible incidents such as the "Bloody Gojo Figurine" one when a supposed underage fan had ruined their figurine of Jujutsu Kaisen's character with their own period blood... But unfortunately for women and most likely fortunately for men, these behaviors are currently not affecting men to the extent it affects women.

Why I am only mentioning the Chainsaw Man figurines, which from what I've seen are sold by none other than Crunchyroll itself, and not the other merchandise of h*ntai characters and whatnot if because Chainsaw Man is getting more main stream as more chapters get released.

What's your opinion on this? Are these pieces of merchandise really encouraging certain people and make them feel they have the right to behave in creepy and lewd ways or do they hold no significance in this situations?

[doctors-star]

before the beginning

“Are you quite sure?” he says, trying not to look around at the house in case his glances should look doubtful. Unfortunately, he simply is somewhat doubtful of the wisdom of this idea; happy as he is for Peter to be surrounded by other people for the uncertain length of time he will be out in Herefordshire, the May household is already a large one and the May house is not. Peter is already looking slightly daunted by the noise and debris left by various young women between the ages of fifteen and twenty-two, and he’s barely made it past the front door. For good reason does Lesley usually visit them at the Folly, rather than the other way around. And then, of course, there is Molly at home with the dog, probably too well-trained to be cursing their names, but entirely possibly slightly distraught at being left alone. In truth, he is a little distressed at leaving her. It has, after all, been some time since he last did.

“Oh, yes,” Lesley’s mother says cheerfully, weaving in amongst the chaos with expert familiarity to deposit Peter’s bags on the stairs, ready to take the next person to come downstairs out at the ankles. “I’d hate to think of him rattling around in that big place on his own, and he’s a good lad. It’ll be lovely to have him over.”

“We’ll look after him,” Lesley’s dad says - a little wryly, like he too can see the madness that has been made of his home - and claps Peter on the shoulder in a display of manly solidarity. Peter manages a smile, but little enthusiasm; Lesley just rolls her eyes.

“Well, I do appreciate it,” Nightingale says, tucking his amusement into the corner of his mouth where only Peter and Lesley can see it. Peter narrows his eyes, aware he is being laughed at, but his mouth compresses against a grin all the same. “It shouldn’t be for very long, anyway.”

“I should hope not!” Lesley’s mother says, catching Lesley’s head in passing and crushing her close to press a kiss to her head. Lesley squirms uselessly but ultimately must submit to this display of parental affection; Peter looks at him suspiciously, as though to ward off any similar instincts in him. They are neither of them very tactile, even less so now as Peter gets older, but sometimes he does envy Mrs May for her easy affection. “You fetch those girls home, and you’ll be back before we know you’re gone. Peter, I’m putting you in Tanya’s room; Lesley, Tanya’s in with you. I’ll go and make up the beds.”

“Mum!” Lesley objects sharply, unfolding from her slouch against the wall to stare after her retreating mother at this abject betrayal; her father, wisely, beats a hasty retreat towards the living room, leaving them all in the hallway to say goodbye. Lesley huffs enormously. “I don’t know why everyone’s worried about you,” she says to Peter mutinously. “You get your own room.”

Peter holds up his hands defensively. “It’s not my fault. You’re not pinning Tanya’s inevitable demise on me.”

Lesley folds her arms and looks up at Nightingale. “I refuse to be held responsible either,” he says quickly.

“Then don’t be long,” she replies darkly, which is probably the closest he’s going to get to affection from Lesley these days - she’s going through a rather grumpy phase at present.

“As you like,” he says mildly. “Right - the sooner I go, the sooner I’ll get back. Be good,” he tells Peter, more from some kind of parental instinct than any expectation otherwise; Peter rolls his eyes. “Call me if you need anything; I really shouldn’t be long. Don’t let Lesley kill her sisters.”

“You never let me do anything,” Lesley says, trying to hide a grin.

“I know. Look after yourselves.” And then there’s really nothing more to say, except goodbye.

“Good luck,” Peter offers. “You - look after yourself too. See you in a bit, then.”

And then Nightingale reaches out to squeeze his shoulder bracingly, but doesn’t quite make it. Peter ducks in underneath his arm, snakes one arm around his waist, and leans into his side in a sort of half-hug, half-tackle. Nightingale manages to coordinate his arm into wrapping around Peter’s shoulders quickly enough for a brief squeeze before the boy pulls away, resolutely refusing to make eye contact.

“Right. Bye then,” Peter says, still looking anywhere but at Nightingale.

Lesley tips her chin at him in a sort of salute, grinning at Peter’s behaviour.

“Bye, then,” he says, and smiles all the way to the M40.

[turtleblogatlast]

Small but significant character moments that I actually really adore are from both the times we see the boys as tots. There is a reoccurrence that happens in both of them that I find so incredibly interesting.

For the turtle tot short, Splinter leaves the boys with weapons. In the short, Raph is the one who suggests they do “what Lou Jitsu would do” and Leo is the one who takes point when Splinter comes back to reprimand them. Leo, in taking point, is the one to defend them and get Splinter off their tails.

And then, in the flashback regarding the Kuroi Yōroi helmet, Raph is the one who grabs and throws “Skully” as a way to replace their missing ball which breaks it into pieces, but Leo is the one who speaks for the group and rushes into action to fix the teapot.

I love this for multiple reasons, but the biggest are how it shows that Raph has always been inclined toward the bold and fun and making the plans to include his brothers in what he loves and believes they’d love, whereas Leo has always been inclined to be the “Face” of the group and shoulder the attention even if it’s potentially negative all while coming up with on the spot attempts to fix the situation.

[kissporsche]

there's just something different about pete in the epilogue. he seems so much more settled in his own skin, he takes the time to consider what he's hearing, what he wants to say, how he wants to touch. there's a general sense of calmness that I think can only have come from a significant amount of introspection while vegas was unconscious, after the intense emotional whirlwind of the attempted coup and his resignation.

pete said himself he tries to live in the present, and i think part of that has been a defense mechanism, trying to not self-analyse too deeply or he'll have to confront the emptiness lurking there ("no. I've always been useless."). but after the finale, after finally owning up to what he truly wants and going after it, pete has had time to look at those choices he made in a desperate situation and has had to confront himself about them.

so when vegas asks him why he's still here, he takes a moment to really think about it. and unlike when vegas asked him before at the safehouse why he came back, he actually answers. he gives an answer that could have seemed flippant, but there's nothing but sincerity in the way it's delivered. he can't go anywhere else. and then: he just wants to follow his heart.

it's not a complicated answer. but it's what he didn't understand or couldn't face up to before, and he can only do so now because he isn't hiding away from himself any more. he knows that this was a choice he made and he will stand by it, keep making it, because it's what he wants. he seems so comfortable in his own skin in a way he hasn't before because now he isn't just living in the present: he's thinking about the past and what it will take to live with that, and most importantly he's thinking about the future and the life they could build together. the life he wants to build together.

and that conviction that he wants to keep following his heart gives us a version of pete who is so much more whole than any we've seen before

[moeblob]

Anyway they can change between being tiny and human sized. And when they're tinier they can only be seen by the other fae or their selected humans. So if you just passed Noll on the street while Shavuli was perched on his shoulder chatting away you wouldn't see or hear her.

[fuckingguide]

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And the shapes that you drew may change beneath a different light, and everything you thought you knew will fall apart, but you’ll be all right | Nandor the Relentless + Constellations by The Oh Hellos

the thesis of this video can be boiled down to this: Nandor is, fundamentally, a man who is struggling to cope with the realisation that while he has stayed the same for years, the world around him has been changing without his say so. he clings to what he's always known - for example his image as a relentless warrior - and the boxes he's put people in, without realising that these things don't quite fit him anymore. and when he does start to make an active effort to make a change, despite having every good intention, things rarely work out for him because, often, what he's seeking out in new places, he actually already has. all he needs to do is look around himself and see things in a new light to realise it.

(this vid only uses footage from the first 3 seasons btw, you don’t need to be caught up with the latest eps to watch it)

[dootznbootz]

I honestly get a little annoyed that people will act like Penelope wouldn't be in the Fields of Punishment alongside Odysseus :P

Because she'd either go with him or literally be there because of her own things. I mean...She's not that nice either. They're literally "likeminded", all the war crimes he would tell her, she'd be thinking "Oh!!! Good thinking!!!" The only thing is, she just didn't GET to do those war crimes because she wasn't in the war. She would scold him for the stupid things he did acting like she's never done the same or wouldn't do the same.

Also as if she wouldn't also tell Polyphemus her name? Maybe not exactly, but she'd do something JUST as prideful/dumb eventually. BECAUSE THEY'RE SIMILAR. SAME MIND!!!

[facewithoutheart]

Lucy having to sacrifice her life and her magic for her unborn son is such a metaphor for what society expects of moms. In a world where Lucy was emotionally manipulated into creating the Chosen One by the Mage, a process full of consequences neither her nor the Mage fully understood, and dies as a result, creates a trauma Simon shoulders for the rest of his life.

It’s the Mage’s idea to create the Chosen One and the Mage’s research and yet Lucy pays the ultimate price. Then, the Mage gives Simon away for some misguided attempt at protection. He’s like the guy who pressures the girl into having unprotected sex and then never pays child support.