#we need to talk about kevin imagine

[slasherscream]

the crazy ass boys and that punisher scene *would* be kooky crazy and you absolutely should do it - the FLAVOR…

A/N: do i feel bad for reader? yeah, of course... but lowkey this shit kinda funny. TW: the kevin and josh parts of this feature attempted sexual assault of reader. if you get the urge to community label this block me and don't read it instead xoxo.

crazy ass boys gang + reader kills someone based on that one punisher scene

billy loomis:

He deserves it. The hands wrapped tightly around his throat, his mind going foggy from the lack of oxygen. Head pounding in pain from the several blows he’d taken to it. His vision swims as he stares up at the monster he himself had created: Ghostface.

One thing he’d never considered about making it so he and Stu were the sole survivors of the Woodsboro massacre was what tantalizing targets they’d become for any Ghostface copycats. He curses himself for it now. It was ridiculous to think that infamy like theirs wouldn’t inspire other bloodthirsty maniacs. 

To be murdered in his own home, the way so many of his own victims met their fate, is particularly insulting. 

‘What an ironic way to go,’ Billy thinks as he starts to black out. 

And that should be it. There shouldn’t be anything after the blackness. But suddenly he’s taking large, greedy gulps of air again and rolls to the side heaving. He finds himself face to face with the Ghostface copycat who sports a new accessory: a kitchen knife in the side of their neck. 

Senses coming back to him, he slowly begins to hear the miserable animal-like whimpering of another person in the room and rolls onto his back. Standing over him and his cheap knockoff is his partner, Y/N, blood splattered across their trembling hands. 

“Did I kill them? Are they dead?” Before you’ve even finished the sentence Billy is shaking his head no.

“No, baby, no you didn’t kill them. It’s okay.” The words hurt to get out but he forces them anyway. He has to reassure you that you aren’t like him. That you aren’t a killer. 

Believe it or not, he never wanted this for you. You aren’t like him or Stu. You aren’t built for this. But here you are, blood on your hands because it came down to Billy or a stranger and you’ll always choose Billy, no matter what the choice costs you. 

Billy forces himself to move when he notices the way the rise and fall of the Ghostface’s chest slow to the jerking heaves of the dying. 

He yanks the knife from their neck and they make a gurgling, wet noise of pain. It’s the sound people make while they drown in their own blood. Billy is more than used to it, and barely registers it. But as quiet as the room is, the noise is deafening for you, and you turn to retch.

“You didn’t kill anyone baby, I promise.” Billy slits their throat so quickly it’s done before you even turn back around. “I killed them, okay?” 

josh washington: 

Josh’s hearing these days is inhuman, which is only fair since Josh himself isn’t quite human these days. 

Also inhuman is his bond with you. He’s in tune with you, to put it lightly. His abnormally cold body forever seeks out the heat of your own. He relishes in your calming scent. He listens eagerly for the sound of your breathing, your heartbeat, your voice. 

That’s why, even with the music at this party turned up to deafening volumes, he registers the sound of your scream as if you were standing side by side. 

The noise awakens something animalistic in him. His mouth, already half split into a permanent, razor-toothed snarl, pulls back even further. He looks monstrous. He pushes and shoves violently through the crowd of mindlessly gyrating bodies in a panic. 

‘Where are you, Y/N?!’ He thinks, sick to his stomach. 

Even through the heavy smells of sweat, alcohol, and weed, he’s able to follow your scent outside. Here he’s in his element. The air is clear and damp, and it’s easy to track you. You’re in the woods just beyond the house, still screaming, when he finds you. 

Immediately he gathers you in his arms, snarling and growling into the open air at any potential threats. 

“I killed him. I killed him, Josh.” You shriek, voice high and sharp with panic. 

He nuzzles his cheek against yours comfortingly. It takes him a second to remember he’s human and can speak. That’s when he smells the blood. His pupils dilate at the sweet, metallic scent and he searches for the source, eyes seeing perfectly even in the darkness of the night. 

His eyes land on a man laying haphazardly on the ground, head bent at an odd angle on a rock. Blood oozes sluggishly over the stone and Josh’s heart stops at the sight. 

“I was just trying to get some air and this guy followed me out here and he wouldn’t leave me alone, so I ran, but he followed me. He followed me! And he tried to…” You sob on the words that won’t come and Josh knows instantly what happened. His mind paints the rest of the horrible picture. “... all I was doing was trying to get him off me. That’s all I was trying to do! I didn’t mean to kill him, Josh. Oh god, I didn’t mean to kill him.”

You’re not a killer. Josh isn’t one either… but if he has to choose which one of you will have to bear the weight of taking a life he knows he won’t let it be you. 

He crosses over to the man, who looks up at Josh with unseeing eyes. There’s only one thing to do. Josh bends down low and braces himself for the way your attacker's blood will taste when he rips out their throat with his teeth.

stu macher: 

text from babygirl/babyboy: [ stu there is someone in the house pls hurry im scared ]

He glanced down at the pocket of his jeans ready to roll his eyes when he heard your text notification. 

You were probably texting him because you’d checked the kitchen and realized you needed some spice or vegetable ‘desperately’ to be able to make dinner tonight. He almost felt like ignoring it and telling you he hadn’t seen the text until he pulled into the driveway of your home. 

But begrudgingly he paused, shifted the grocery bags around in his arms, and pulled out his phone. 

His heart stopped. 

Instantly, he knew you were serious. He might fuck with you like this but you’d never do the same to him. He dropped the groceries on the ground and ran to the car. 

He doesn’t text you to ask if you’re okay. He’s terrified of the answer he could get. More terrified of getting no answer at all, so he just drives. He focuses on the thought of you at home, needing him, and breaks every speeding law there is to get to you. 

He parks down the street so as to not tip off the intruder. He grabs the hunting knife he always keeps in his car even though Billy tells him not to and stalks like an animal toward the home you’ve built together. The rage he feels is indescribable. Someone is in his house terrorizing what’s his. 

He creeps in through the wide open back door of the house. He pauses and listens for a sound over the pounding of the blood in his ear. 

Nothing. For one soul crushing moment there’s nothing at all. 

Then he hears the sound of you crying from upstairs and it makes his heart stop. He runs up the stairs as quietly as he can and throws himself into the bedroom ready to do anything to save you.

But you’ve already saved yourself, it seems. 

You’ve curled yourself up in the corner closest to the door, watching as the man who attacked you bleeds out from the stab wounds you put in his stomach. 

Stu stops moving and watches as the man tries to stop himself from bleeding out, his own cries blending with yours. You were smart enough to keep the knife and you hold it towards the man, shaking with adrenaline and fear.

“Baby-” Stu’s voice breaks the spell you’re in and you turn to him and begin to cry in earnest. You were holding yourself together, waiting on him to save you and he came too late. 

“He’s dying Stu, I killed him. Oh god, I killed someone.” Blood from the knife you’re holding drips onto the hardwood floor of your bedroom. 

“No, baby, you didn’t kill him.” Stu already failed you tonight. He’s not going to let you become a killer because someone broke into your house and you had to survive. 

He crosses the room, kneels in front of the burglar, and stabs them twice in the neck. The warm blood hits his face and he doesn’t even relish in it. Just waits for the light in the burglar’s eyes to dim. When it does he turns back to you. 

“I killed them, honey.”

jd/jason dean: 

The sound of a gunshot rings through the basement loud and clear. 

JD freezes, mind racing as he thinks of what to do next. It’s not every day that you’re caught planting bombs in the building where the Dean’s office happens to be. This was his last stop. 

All the other bombs have already been carefully placed throughout campus. Even if he’s caught now, the detonator is only just out of reach. If he can reach it, the plan will still be a success. The only minor hiccup would be dying beneath a couple thousand piles of rubble. But that’s a small thing. It’d be worth it. For you, JD would do anything. 

This university had taken everything from you. He’d watched it happen. Had sat by, rage simmering just beneath the surface as he tried to let you handle your own problems. You’d insisted he’d let you handle the situation. You’d let yourself get walked all over, is what happened. But JD doesn’t blame you for how everything turned out. 

You’re too gentle. Too sweet. You don’t have that animal instinct to fight or go to war. It was one of the reasons you endeared yourself to JD so quickly. You were intensely vulnerable in a world so resolutely cruel that you were breathtaking just by existing. To watch you come to harm of any kind was painful. But it all ended today. Even if it killed him. 

“Oh no, oh please no.” Your voice makes JD turn in bewilderment. 

“What on Earth are you doing here-” JD’s eyes go wide at the scene before him. 

There’s a security guard on the ground, unconscious, a pool of blood seeping from them. He can see the entry wound on their back. He wonders if the bullet is lodged in them or if it went straight through. 

“I didn’t want to kill him. I was just- I was coming to stop you from doing this but I didn’t… I saw the guard coming up behind you with a gun, and… and his finger was on the trigger. He was gonna kill you. He was gonna-” 

JD steps gracefully around the puddle of blood the guard is making and takes you into his arms. You fall into them with a wet sob. 

He feels his heart go warm, the way it always does when he holds you. You came here to stop him from protecting you and wound up protecting him in turn. Whether you like it or not, the two of you are soulmates. You’ll always come first to one another. Damn the rest of the world entirely. 

But JD knows you’re too tender for this. Knows that killing will break your spirit, not free you the way it freed him. 

He gently pries the gun from your fingers (and almost laughs at the thought of you trying to confront him with his own gun), turns, and shoots the guard execution-style in the back of his head. 

“You didn’t kill anyone, darling. You don’t have it in you.” He pulls you back into his arms. “But don’t worry about that, you’ll never have to when I’m around.”

kevin khatchadourian: 

Kevin told you the guy was bad news. But generally, Kevin was an untrustworthy judge of character because he hated everyone, especially anyone who pulled any of your precious attention away from him. So, you decided to tutor the other man despite Kevin’s insistence you do no such thing. 

You should have listened to Kevin. 

Of course, your classmate didn’t actually need tutoring. He was just trying to get close to you. He said as much as he pinned you against your couch, rough hand sliding up up up your leg, to the juncture of your thighs. It quickly became clear that your classmate didn’t care whether or not you wanted to become close to him as well. 

You’d shoved him away from you as hard as you could once he started trying to remove your clothes. It was a good shove. He’d landed right on the corner of the coffee table. There’d been a sickening crunch as the back of his head hit the wood. Then there was nothing. And now he was making a low, animal noise from what seemed like the very pit of his stomach. He must’ve been in agony. 

You didn’t move a muscle. You were probably in shock. You just sat, holding your ripped shirt to your chest. All the while knowing that if you didn’t do something soon, this man that had tried to force himself on you would die. 

Kevin walked in through the front door of your apartment. You heard him take off his shoes. Throw his keys onto the table in your entryway. Heard him begin to shuffle his way toward the scene of the soon-to-be crime. 

“Y/N?” He’s suddenly kneeling in front of you, blocking the view of your attacker, who still keeps on with that miserable whining. 

“Kevin?” Numbly, you reach for him, place your hands on his shoulders and grip them tightly. You try to pull him towards you but he holds himself away, staring at you. 

“What happened?” 

You glance a little to the side and can see the other man still sprawled across the ground. “I should have listened to you.”

Kevin’s thumb gently drags along your freshly busted lip, smearing blood along the length of your mouth, “What happened?”

His voice is so unusually tender that the haze of confusion and fear breaks and you sob. You try again to pull him towards you and this time he comes willingly, enveloping you in his arms. For someone so distant, who adopts and discards emotions and feelings as easily as a mask, Kevin’s embraces are always tight and all-consuming. 

You stay like that for only a few minutes. When Kevin pulls back, he wipes away your tears with your own ripped shirt. You stare at one another. You never know what he’s thinking, now being no exception, but for once you let yourself get lost in the inky blackness of his eyes and feel comforted, not unnerved. 

“Go take a bath.” The command comes out of nowhere. 

“What? Kevin I-” A slightly louder moan than the rest cuts you off and the look on Kevin’s face fades from whatever was there when he was looking at you to his typical viciousness. 

“I’m going to put him out of his misery. He’s already dying. There’s no use calling an ambulance, and I wouldn’t let you anyway. So you’re going to let me do what I need to do, and you’re going to go take a bath while I do it. Then you’ll go to bed, and when you wake up, it will all be over. Understand?” 

He doesn’t give you the option to disobey. He helps you to your feet, guides you to the bathroom, and even starts the bath for you. Then he goes back into the living room to kill a man as if it means nothing to him. 

You sit in the bath with your knees to your chest, and listen to the sounds of running water instead of focusing on the fact that the man has finally gone quiet.

[dollepins]

kiss me, comfort me

kevin khatchadourian x reader. fluff, kisses, reader is afraid of the dark. might be a little ooc because it’s my first time writing for him. very short, 0.4k words.

warnings — none, unless the dark triggers you i guess? but it’s really nothing, and i use a curse word or two.

kevin, of all the things he did understand, did not for one second comprehend how someone could be afraid of something as simple as the dark. the logic did not add up, in his opinion. darkness is natural; the sun sets and moon takes its place, humans turn off their lights and drift to sleep.

why does that scare you?

you honestly didn’t know why you told him. all he did was smile a bit and poke fun at you, but when he turned away, you couldn’t help but feel it in the pit of your stomach—how stupid you were. how silly. why would you ever go to him for comfort when he barely ever offers it to you anyway? you bite the inside of your cheek.

maybe you thought there were monsters in the corner of your room sometimes. maybe it was just irrational and dumb, with no reasoning to back it up other than a simple cliché.

either way, you knew that later, when he turned the lights off to lure you both into sleep’s grasp, the teasing would begin once more. well, you thought.

your eyes were shut tight for a moment after the room encased itself in black, and after a moment you felt the weight of the bed shifting and kevin’s slender hands pulling you closer to him. it was easy for you to allow him to pull your back flush to his chest. this was your routine every night, but it felt different now that your secret was out.

kevin’s words—his words that, usually, never carry an inch of sympathy—possessed a certain protectiveness to them now. worry, adoration, whatever you’d like to call it. still, you heard a raspy, “you okay?”

your eyes snapped open. is he really concerned? or is this an elaborate trick?

“i’m fine. jus’ sleepy, kev,” and it was the truth, but not fully. the darkness was still scaring the shit out of you, but being in kevin’s arms added to your drowsiness made things a little better. you were calmer, not as tense.

his hum thrums through your ear and to the rest of your body. “okay. i’m here with you, you know?”

he says it quietly, almost unsure. it sounds foreign to you because you almost never witness him so— hesitant. your breathing slows a little as you begin to get the picture. he is offering you comfort. despite not completely understanding the concept, he wants to give it to you.

instead of choosing to respond directly, you sigh contently and say, “g’night.”

you’re happy when he presses a light kiss to the top of your head and says it back, even gentler. “goodnight, honey.”

— ( dollepins # 2023 )

[kevinsbabydoll]

🏹—pretty in pink; k. khatchadourian x fem!reader

if you had known kevin was watching you through your bedroom window while you changed, would you have closed the curtains? probably not. you had a sneaking suspicion that’s what he was doing, but every time you looked out the window, there was no one to be seen. you had no proof that he was watching you, but you couldn’t help but wonder how he always knew what colour panties you were wearing each day.

“i like that colour,” he says, barely looking at you as you’re walking from your place to his. you smiled at his words; it was very foreign you’d squeeze out a compliment from kevin, so he must’ve really liked your pastel blue dress. his face is emotionless as he says the words, and you feel yourself shiver at his deep voice, but accept the compliment nonetheless.

“thanks, kev. i wasn’t really sure about it, since i rarely wear blue, but im glad you like it,” you said sweetly, brushing your thumb over his cool knuckles. the feeling of your warm touch makes him shiver. he wants you to stop talking so he can tell you he doesn’t mean the colour of your stupid dress, but the the pretty pink bra and panties you’re wearing under it.

“that’s not what i meant,” he says devilishly, and lets the words hang in the air for almost too long before you respond. “then what…” you trail off, and then it hits you. you look at him and see the cheshire grin stretched out on your boyfriend’s features. your face heats up as you realize he means your underwear. “how do you…?” you ask bashfully, even though you think you know the answer. kevin’s smile stretches further on his lips, and the look in his eyes is nothing short of wolfish.

after a few minutes of walking in silence, you arrive at his place. he opens the door, and you walk in timidly behind him. you make eye-contact with eva, who is always friendly towards you, looks scared for you and gives a pained look and a strained smile. you smile in return, and notice that kevin is already up in his room. you quickly walk up the stairs and into his bedroom and see him sitting on his bed. you sit down beside him in silence for a moment before he pounces on you.

you moan in surprise, but it quickly turns into one of pleasure as kevin starts to suck on your neck, his mouth leaving several purple marks in its wake. you were a little worried about having to have dinner with his family later when you were covered in hickeys, but your self-consciousness was suddenly subdued by kevin shoving your dress above your hips and pulling your panties off. “these are lovely,” kevin says teasingly referring to the lace garment for the second time tonight.

“mmph! kev…” you squeal as he pushes his cock into you without warning. he enjoys the stretch of your unprepared pussy and your cute little screams of pleasure. “shut up, do you want her to hear you?” he grunts, referring to his mother; he doesn’t care if eva hears or even walks in and sees the two of you, but he knows the thought of it puts you on edge. “n-no…oh..!” you moan, trying to quiet down. kevin takes notice of it, and thrusts harder into you. his gaze is as hard as steel, and he looks like he’s going to devour you at any moment. he’s always so deliciously rough with you.

“take it,” he whispers into your ear, biting your lobe. you feel your eyes to the back of your head and filling with tears at the overstimulated feeling building up in your tummy. “you’re bullying me…” you whimper, teasing him slightly. as unpredictable as kevin is, you know him well enough to know that this’ll only egg him on. he pushes his cock deeply into your cervix, only proving your point. you let out a deeply pornographic moan as your boyfriend ravages you through your orgasm. “fuck! oh my god, kev!” you cry out as you cum around him. he joins you seconds later, and fills you up with his cum.

kevin collapses beside you and slings an arm around your waist. he barely gives you a second to recover before he asks, “you ready for dinner, babe?” you turn around and look at your boyfriend’s pretty face and notice the mean smirk on his face. you take a moment to breathe before you look for your undergarment. “kev? what happened to my panties?” he looks at you lazily and shrugs, before pulling his jeans over his slender hips. “you’re just gonna have to go without them,” you blush at the thought and kevin takes your hand to lead you downstairs.

you follow kevin down the stairs with a limp to where his family is seated at the dinner table. your face heats up with shame as you feel their eyes on the two of you and to make matters worse, you feel kevin’s cum dribble down your leg; you clench your thighs together to avoid any more leaking out. you sit down beside each other at the table and you avoid making eye-contact with eva.

“i’m starving,” kevin says breaking the silence within the room. you look down abashedly when his father clears his throat, and notice something pink peeking out of kevin’s jeans pocket; your panties. you had a pretty good idea of what he was gonna do with them later, and you were certainly going to put on a show for him tomorrow morning.

[ang3lik]

KINKTOBER

(masterlist.)

hi!! so basically i thought instead of doing a celebration for 2k i’ll just do a kinktober and ficmas!! i want to thank you all so much for all the wonderful support and feedback i’ve received, even though writing has been a pain, thankyou all for being so kind and patient! i love you all so much! <3

there’ll be 4 fics each week starting on the 03/10 and finishing on the 31/10.

week one ::

• 3/10 — bill kaulitz x size kink…. • 5/10 — owen x public sex… • 7/10 — sophie d’or x temperature play…. • 9/10 — jacob black x breeding kink…

week two ::

• 11/10 — tom kaulitz x daddy kink… • 13/10 — vampire!bill kaulitz x blood play…. • 15/10 — faith lehane x degradation… • 17/10 — never!tedros x throat training…

week three ::

• 19/10 — kevin khatchadourian x dacryphilia… • 21/10 — edward cullen x monster fucking… • 23/10 — gustav schäfer x praise kink… • 25/10 — cordelia chase x mommy kink…

week four ::

• 27/10 — carlisle cullen x spit kink… • 29/10 — georg listing x phone sex… • 31/10 — tom kaulitz x roleplay/fearplay/knifeplay…

i really hope you enjoy this event! and of course enjoy the spooky season!! 🎃

[roseisbeautiful]

Dating barry and being a huge Flash fan without knowing his identity:

You and Barry had been dating for a while now, no secret were ever hidden from each other. Atleast that's what you think.

It was no secret to Barry that you were a huge fan of the hero, which makes him more nervous if he ever interacts with you outside in his superhero costume.

Unfortunately it did happen, he was patrolling seeing if any criminals were either harassing or robbing people.

Then he stumbled upon you when you were walking home from work, he panicked when he saw you and try to leave as fast as he can. But to no avail you saw him and decided that you should call for him.

"Mr. Flash! Mr. Flash wait please! " You said screaning for him as you ran and ran, Ofcourse Barry felt bad and stopped trying to ignore you and turned around.

"Hi! How may I help you?" he says nervously scared that he might slip something up that could make you identify that he infact was your boyfriend and not some random guy.

"Nothing it's just I'm a really really big fan of you!" You said squealing like a teenage girl who just got a date with her crush.

"I was hoping if I could get a picture from you, you know??" You said happily and almost giggling through your words. You started to take your phone out even if he had said nothing yet.

Despite that he was nervous he couldn't turned you down, you were excited after all and he couldn't bare to make you sad.

"Yes ofcourse! But please don't post this on any social media platforms!" He said shying away from your gaze. See he knew he could trust you but he couldn't trust social media and what people would say or do to you.

"Ofcourse I'll keep this to myself, I just badly wanted a picture with you since I'm a huge huge fan!" You say to him freaking out and smiley because you met your favorite hero.

After finally like a hundred poses and pictures you finally had enough and thanked him.

Once you got home you couldn't stop fangirling and staring at the pictures in your phone, you couldn't wait until Barry got home to tell what the events for the day was.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Once you heard the door open you rushed to get up and greet your boyfriend.

"BARRY, YOUR HOME!" You ran to him immediately and you embrace him tightly, also attacking his face with kisses.

Barry smiles at you, then pecks both of your cheeks before breaking the hug.

"Hi sweetie, how was your day?" He questioned knowing what happened for the most of it but you couldn't know now could you?

"It was fine, but then I met THE FLASH" You said excited to tell him about how you met your favorite superhero. You start to search for your phone in your pockets and when you finally got it out you immediately unlock it fastly.

Lets just say.. You talked Barry's ear off the whole night.

------------------------------------------------------------------

This was requested by @nagicats, I accidentally deleted the original request, I'm so sorry😭😭. Also please I'm very sorry if this is wasn't the one you wanted

[werezmastarbucks]

kevin khatchadourian x female reader timeline of relationship

(actually, a story I am too lazy to write, but which is just clear and palpable in my head)

• you meet him three times

warnings: violence, manipulation, underage relationships (no grooming), mentions of dissecting frogs, abuse (duh), toxic relationship, unpleasant and traumatic first sex, the OC is kinda very, very human and stupid, exactly as a fifteen year old girl should be. School shooting obv. Also, it's ve-e-ery long, but I'm really not in the mood of writing a book here, so, it's just bullet points. Sorry.

author's note: yes! I watched We need to talk about Kevin around 2014, actually. It seems, considering the nature of this whole blog, I've always had the hots for the worst kind of guys. Enjoy my sublimation!

it was so long I had to divide it into two parts. second part

• you're at the same school, and Kevin is closed, brooding and completely antisocial. You constantly see him smile when there's a fight. He never participates in scuffles but seems to observe people; the other half of the time, he just doesn't care about his surrounding at all. Seemingly

• you've been raised to sympathize with the outcasts, reading all the right books and youself, not being the most popular, the smartest or the most beautiful

• at the biology class, you flat out refuse to dissect a frog. You can't stand the sight of dead animals, to say nothing about cutting them with a freaking knife. You close your eyes and shake your head aggressively, while the teacher is getting angry with your childish stubborness

• until you feel that someone is standing next to you. Kevin says 'she doesn't want to cut the frog' assertively, and takes it to his desk. He doesn't look at you a second, but it feels like a momentary salvation

• you're thinking of thanking him; that seems like a nice thing considering he's never talking to people, and always having lunch alone. He has this loner allure, the misunderstood poet, the lone wolf, if you will. You're fifteen.

• your friends tell you 'are you nuts? he's the cat in the bag'

• there are all kinds of rumors about Kevin; about strangling someone as a joke, and swearing, and watching gore.

• "I didn't do it for you", he smiles, like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and you misunderstood the incident so badly that it's funny and totally makes you look like an idiot. "I just like to dissect frogs". But he looks at you so intensely that it tells you something more.

• he never goes to PE

• Kevin is bullied from time to time; he doesn't really react to it, like the other children don't even exist. He never replies to nasty remarks, but just watches them, head tilted forward, like a dog ready to bite.

• you wonder why nobody else is worried about this gaze.

• sometimes you catch him watching you during classes as if he's contemplating something. You think yourself some kind of sacred redeemer, not less. You don't look away, you don't realize you're getting yourself into a swamp. You're fifteen

• at one occasion you tell Kevin he doesn't need to be alone all the time, and there are nice people at school who would accept him

• he just grins at everything you say

• the same guy who bullies Kevin the most acrtively, or is trying to, steals your folder containing some notes, your journal and you photo album. He doesn't admit it but laughs in a way that makes it clear

• you go to the teacher, to the principal, but the conversations do nothing to that guy. He's just a bully, just a dumb jock who has very little thought behind his forehead. You're worried; he might not know, but your personal diary is in that folder.

• you confront him with the fists swaying, to no avail

• the next morning, Kevin walks by your desk and throws the folder, complete with everything, in front of you. You watch his back, wondering when he had got it, and whether he had read your diary. One of the entires was about him, and it was embarrassing.

• "he's tall; taller than the other boys. His face is like milk, but he has this pitch-black hair and vampire stare thing going on. He is always quiet, just watches people. He's reeeeeally good-looking, but damn, Khatchadourian might just be nuts like people say"

• your friends wisely advise you not to get involved with him, but you feel so special all of a sudden

• you start fantasizing about being the only girl at school who managed to get through to him

• as you talk, he notices your desire to be special, and uses it. He observes you with your friends, focuses his laser attention on your grades, tries to get into what makes up your world.

• soon, he manages to make you feel like you really are the one person he reacts to. It is incredibly funny to him. He deems you fuckable.

• he's attacking someone in the yard. The guys from the parallel were getting the best out of Kevin, and rightfully so. This time he's had enough. When it's just talking, he didn't care, but physical assault, he couldn't tolerate, because that was crossing his personal borders. So, when one of the boys tried to steal his backpack, Kevin took out a razor he carried with him

• you try to stop the fight and get in between them just in time to shield the other boy, and Kevin slices your arm across

• the boys run away horrified, and Kevin just stands there, disappointed and dark.

• he evaluates the situation, sees that the cut is pretty deep, and watches the gushes of blood leaving your arm. The first seconds you're silent with shock; then it dies down, and you start feeling pain and yelp.

• he cuts off a piece of his shirt and bandages your arm tightly, saying nothing, just lasers you with his glance. The sight of this wound on you, not unlike his own scar, even in the same spot, accidentally. He finds it curious, invigorating. He watches the expression of physical pain on your face and brings you to the medic's office, saying "I sliced her". It feels good to say that.

• there's a conversation at the principal office. You're quiet, he's almost pleased with himself. His excuse is, I was going for another person ¯_(ツ)_/¯

• he gets away with it. You notice his dad dotes on him, and is absolutely blind to anything Kevin does. He buys the legend of 'I brought it for biology class, because I'm used to working with my own instruments' so easily it's astonishing.

• you don't speak for a while, and Kevin doesn't say sorry. He doesn't look guilty and is equally unimpressed that other students start to avoid him even more

• but his presence is like an oil stain, you can't avoid looking. You want to get to the bottom of him, you actively put yourself in this situation. You're fifteen, edgy, you have a crush on the sexy strange bad guy.

• you catch him after classes and tell him, whatever you're feeling, you don't have to. There are good people, that are worthy of your time. You don't mean yourself, but you're trying to make him defrost a little

• for some reason, the topic of feelings triggers him, and he does the thing he would repeat several times. He gets angry, standing right in your face, hovering over with his height. He puts his face as close as possible to yours and tries to make you pee yourself.

• "how the fuck would you know how I feel? What do you know about how I feel? Tell me, how can a person like you know anything about me?"

• he doesn't apologize for slicing you because he knows he didn't mean it, hense, there's no reason to say sorry. But he sees the prospect of playing with you, and he's so bored. So, he thinks about what a normal person would do in his place. ?

• once, you go to your locker and inside, find a little bunch of field flowers, neatly tied together with a yellow thread. No note, but somehow you have ideas what it means.

• you go on to a party in one of your classmates' house. You still rock a tight bandage on your arm. The party is good. You see Kevin and he looks at you like he wants to talk. You think, this is just like one of those vampire stories. You evade your watchful friends who think you dumb for playing a heroine from the Vampire Diaries. You need to grow up, they say

• you go outside in the terrace and sit down. You drink and ask why Kevin isn't drinking

• "I never drink. It dulls the concentration"

• you tell him that what he said sounds like 'I'm not like all of you idiots'. He confirms that's the gist of most of what he says. You ask if he considers you dumb, too. Biting his tongue, he avoids replying, saying that you're 'nice'

• you keep drinking, feeling the need to master up some bravery in his presence. For what, you don't know. Finally you ask him about how he feels, since he got so angry when you assumed

• surprisingly, Kevin says,

• "angry, bored most of the time. I guess it makes me angry how boring everything is. And dumb. Sitting there at school for six hours every day to do what exactly? It's like torture"

• it's a good thing he found a toy to play with.

• he tells you about his mother, and how she broke his arm when he was little, for shitting himself, on purpose. You talk about mums, and fathers, and how you don't have a very good relationship with your parents. Kevin finds it very interesting. You tell him how your mum mostly ignores your existence because she's more preoccupied with the shattering marriage with your dad, and your dad, finds you annoying and 'too girly'. He tells you about his little sister who is so annoying, and she constantly jumps around him and nags on him. You try to explain that a little girl sees that her brother is big, and strong, and pretty, and is forming a bond. He gives one of the worst performances, but it grills you

• "Pretty?" with a suggesting smile.

• you kiss, mostly because you're drunk, and you both think about each other's background.

• you think how tragic it is, that a boy like Kevin doesn't get the love from the person a child needs the most. Think about his mum, imagine her looking at baby Kevin with hatred and disgust. No wonder he is growing up to be this unapologetic, menacing, edgy guy who brings razor to school and takes it out on others.

• you're partially wrong

• Kevin thinks about how you have daddy issues and feel unloved, unneeded, mediocre

• although everybody at school knows that Kevin Khatchadourian had cut your arm in a violent fashion, the literature teacher pairs you for a half-year assignment. You're supposed to prepare a one-hundred pages analysis of the book of your choice, complete with the presentation.

• you're actually down to such tasks as you can ramble about your favorite books for ages, but you're not sure how it'll work out with Kevin. Casual friendship, if you can call it that, is strange and non-regular; sometimes he ignores you completely in the corridors, sometimes he starts talking about history, and awful things like Unit 731, out of nowhere.

• the first time you assembled to work on the paper was at the library, and it was pretty uneventuful; even boring a little. Kevin was not in the mood, and didn't talk much, and then, after an hour and a half said he was bored, and just left.

• you remembered the kiss from the party, but Kevin acted like nothing happened. Every time, though, when you almost decided he had played you, it was like he read your thoughts, and appeared to reinforce hope in you.

• he suggested you should go to his house at the weekend, and spend the day working on the paper. His family will be away as they usually do, so

• a gut feeling told you not to go, and you really listened to it, refusing the offer. Kevin smiled with his special smile that was like blood and honey, that was very difficult to resist

• "you think I'll do something awful to you?" "Will you?"

• he had a habit of speaking more with his eyes than with his mouth. One of the reasons you were so drawn to him was, he seemed adult, on the inside. Sometimes he said things you didn't expect to hear from a fifteen-year old.

• "Only if you ask".

• you skipped this weekend, and Kevin refused to go to the library, saying he had some things to do after school. But you were free to work on the project alone, of course.

• after a week more you caved in and agreed to go to his place. The whole week he was being uncharacteristically neat, friendly and pleasant. You saw him smile at teachers and even say hi to someone from class. You wondered if he had other friends you didn't know about.

• Kevin had a massive, cool home. Both his parents were rich, but you wouldn't tell it by looking at him act. You were amazed at the interior: artsy, light, with interesting living room and shapes on the walls. Kevin was bored, unimpressed by your interest. He was slacking, stretching time not to get to work that was clearly dull to him; he showed you the bathroom, and his parents bedroom (which made you uncomfortable). As he went downstairs to make tea that he almost forced you to have, you washed your hands in the bathroom on the second floor. Going down towards the stairs, you passed his room with the door open. A song you liked very much played on his computer. You wondered.

• on the wall, you saw the picture of the family. Kevin was smiling like the happiest boy ever, and it looked like a person from another world. His parents, blonde and dark-haired, were so different. The dad, whom Kevin described as 'the dumbest creature I've met', smiled carelessly, totally satisfied with the day. His mom, on the other hand, looked exhausted. The deep dark eyes, like Kevin's, didn't have half of demonic suggestion in them, but she looked weary. She smiled like a person who was wise, and had a death wish. His little sister 'that perfect little princess who never does anything wrong', whom Kevin clearly had very mixed feelings about, had only one eye.

• while having tea in the kitchen, you asked him about his sister.

• "Oh, yeah, it happened a while ago. She poured solvent into her own eye. Mum left the bottle on the table in the open". "Why would she do that?" you were horrified, painting a picture in your head. "Well, kids are dumb", he said so nonchalantly that it sent shivers down your spine. You could understand not liking a younger, more adored sibling, but talking about how they got a disability in such an unaffected way...

• Kevin added "I was there, with her. I called the ambulance. It was go-o-ory". And he smiled.

• you had the intention of working in the living room - light, spacious, with a broad sofa and a huge coffee table. Kevin insisted that he needed to work on his laptop and it was uncomfortable to bend over the little table. You needed to go to his bedroom. Eventually, you agreed, so now, you were sitting elbow to elbow at his desk, so close that you could feel the warmth of his body.

• the first thing you noticed about his room was how minimalistic and boring it was. Nothing on the walls, clean, tidy, impersonal. The only thing on display was a wooden bow, placed against the wall, and a stack of red-feathered arrows, beautiful, hanging above.

• "Wow, do you do archery?" He was unphased, like it was a totally usual hobby. "Yeah". Whatever tickles the rich people's bum, you thought.

• Fifteen minutes into project your phone lit up. Kevin asked who's messaging you and you said it was your common classmate, Paul, who is your good friend. Kevin knew your - your common - surrounding, so he knew that Paul was a good guy, and a good friend, and also had an innocent teenage crush on you.

• "Let me see", he grabbed the phone from your hand and stretched out his arm so that you wouldn't reach. It turned into a game. You both laughed, and giggled, as you tried to get to your phone. It was half-serious, playful 'hey, don't be a jerk!' and him, watching you reach for the phone helplessly. He then threw it on his bed and, as you raced after it, gave you a little push, and you fell.

• Kevin managed to create that feeling of comfort. As he landed next to you on his bed, he pretended not to see your unease. "Come on, let me see. You know I'm nosy". You sighed, deciding that there was nothing incriminating in messages between two friends. After all, there was nothing but memes and schedule discussion in your chat. Kevin scrolled it, giggling, discussing other classmates, and soon, you were snuggled against each other, talking about everything. You showed him your gallery on the phone and he grilled you for the insane amount of pictures of Damon Salvatore.

• "Come on. Come on now, you know they manufacture those dreamy characters specifically with the accordance to the desirable image for teenage girls. They cater specifically to you, and you buy it".

• "I know! But you haven't watched it".

• A long silence with growing smiles on both sides decided the destiny of that evening. You watched the show together, bonding, discussing, talking about how stupid everything is, and how the vampiric lore cannot possibly be depicted perfectly in any movie you've seen.

• he felt so normal, so human, so warm, that you were drunk on love. You felt safe, entertained, enfatuated. You thought to yourself that maybe, this whole thing about Kevin being different, and dangerous, was a front. After all, he had to protect himself, he hadn't gotten any love at home, and he didn't really know how to act around people. You felt appreciated, understood, wholesome.

• it was already dark when you've finished watching the sixth episode, and you were both a little sleepy. As the episode was over, the screen got darker, and you realized that there was barely any light. Kevin was silent beside you; you heard him breathe calmly, but you could tell he's looking at you. Like a snake aiming for your throat and waiting for the right moment.

• as you were about to say something to discharge the situation, your phone rang. It was your mum, checking on you, and you confessed you hadn't gone through with the paper at all. You explained how boring it was, and that the whole day, you drank tea, or talked, or watched the show. She laughed at it and told you not to stay the night. Maybe she did love you after all.

• "My mum", you explained, as the light from the phone died out, as well. "She's worried about you?" "Just checking". "Checking what?" You didn't find what to say here. "Doesn't your mum check on you when you're late and not home?" "No. Usually, I'm the threat".

• somehow, you were kissing. It felt exhilarating. Scary, amazing and fast. You didn't notice how twenty minutes have gone buy, completely taken by the intensity of it. I'm in his bed, you thought, and he's kissing me. The prettiest boy in school, and the most interesting. The rest were boring, you thought, and realized, this thing you had in common. You thought majority of people, even some of your friends, boring. Kevin was the only one who made you look.

• as he went for your thighs, you shivered. "I'm not ready". "Ready for what?" he asked, jokingly. Constantly dismissing your words, as if he always wanted you to speak clearly and not mumble behind the metaphors. "I'm scared, I'm a virgin". Kevin gave you a long look. "Who hurt you?" he immediately assumed there was some dark reason for your fright. Reality was, "Nobody. I'm fifteen, I'm afraid".

• you made him promise he won't force you to anything. Even the fact that you had to make him give you his word should've been a sign. Kissing him, and making out, was the best thing that happened to you the whole year though.

• Paul was strangely cold, even rude to you the last days. Every time you tried to bring up something funny to him, he dismissed you and made himself scarce almost instantly. You could feel, although Kevin didn't openly follow you, that he watched you, like before. Sometimes you had the urge to ask him the banal 'what are we?'

• you approached him in between classes to ask what he's done to Paul.

• he wouldn't tell you 'I confronted him in the bathroom and put my razor right to his throat, making him understand who you belong to; I pushed it so hard it actually left a mark on his Adam's apple. Must have hurt. He looked like a scared puppy. I told him not to text you anymore and not to look in your direction. He ran so fast you could tell he would be a great cast for the Flash'

• he said, "Oh, I spoke to him. You were clearly annoyed by his advances, or was I wrong?" You were annoyed when you talked about it at his place. You lamented your friendship and said you found it irritateing that every guy you were actively friends with, started to fall for you.

• you didn't believe he just 'spoke' to him. You tried to call for the good in him again, but when it didn't work, decided to threat.

• "Don't do the things you'll regret later, Kevin". You tried to walk away, but he put himself between you and the whole world, hovering again, his face as close as possible. His eyes, the eyes of a snake, cold, black, menacing, asked you.

• "What things?" "You know what I'm talking about". "No, I don't. Say it". He dared you. You wanted to say 'violent things'. You remembered his face, full of cold rage, as he swung the razor at that guy in the yard. You looked at his face now, changed from the peaceful everyday mask he always wore, and suddenly it hit you. He was psychopathic. There was no other way he would be so unaffected by things, then jumping into sudden fury, then pleasant and sociable the next moment. He could stand like this for hours, it seemed, burning you down with his trying stare as if he was forcing you to show what you're worth.

• your friend broke this intense exchange by exclaiming, "wow. Get a room?" her voice was casually laughing, like, ha-ha, I'm mocking a PDA. But when you looked at her, her face was expressing concern. Her eyes didn't laugh and were fixed on you. Kevin slowly focused on her with a slight smile and then walked away, saying nothing.

• he stalked you, although you didn't know about it. Listened to your conversations, hiding in the bathroom, and stole your phone for a lesson, and then returned it into your tote bag, making you think you're absent-minded. You were entertainment to him, a goal to reach, with no prizes. He was deciding what to do with you after, in spring.

• the other weekend that you spent working on paper, the Khatchadourian house was full. The previous one, his mum and his sister were away in the countryside, and his dad worked. Now the whole family was at home, and Kevin wasn't really happy.

• his mom was excessively happy to see you, shaking your hand, and giving you a motherly hug. You read in her face that she was glad that her son was socialising.

• his dad was a big booming guy with the lumberjack energy.

• his little sister was a little angel: silky pearl hair, nice little face, only one eye. She was airy, happy, unspoiled. She was everything Kevin wasn't. He stood at the top of the stairs as his stunningly normal family swarmed you. His sister was looking at you curiously, considering the new concept: his brother's friend. She has never encountered that before. You took her little hand and something horrible stung your temples, almost like a vision. Kevin smiling with his absent, self-pleasing smile as she was on the kitchen floor, her eye bubbling, sizzling, blood and goo coming out.

• Kevin lost his patience and ran downstairs, took your hand and led you away from them, giving his mum a certain look. He refused to be served lemonade, and snacks, he just wanted to be left alone with you.

• as you entered the room, he locked the door, and you started making out immediately. The thought of his parents at home made him almost blind with excitement.

• you collapsed on the bed, kissing, rubbing against each other, panting. You were very wet, for the first time in your life for a real person. It was exalting, to desire something so much and get it immediately, to be desired back.

• he caresses the scar on your arm and kisses it. You take it as his way to finally say sorry.

• you don't know that he's never felt sorry, for anything, in his life. That he's calculating, cold, that he is only happy when it's physical satisfaction because all other is imitation. He's like a robot and he feels like a robot. To try to feel something, he used to watch the hardest porn he could find, the trashiest, goriest movies, he watched the nsfw news where the pieces of humans, chunks of meat and bones, were shown; he went to the dark web and watched snuff, and it made him feel nothing. The closest to happiness he felt when he was mildly entertained or cumming; and you were entertaining, for all the possible things he could do to you; and you almost let him cum.

• but you weren't ready for sex yet and, remembering the word he had given to you, he backed up. Building the tension was good for the eventual climax, and he would break you, he knew that, by the way you whimpered when he rubbed against you and kissed your neck.

• you finally had sex at the party once. Closer to spring, when the spirits were lifted. You snuck away from your friends who have half-way accepted that you were spending time with Kevin. You went upstairs and locked yourselves in someone's bedroom; you had been drinking for bravery because you knew what was coming. You wanted it, but you didn't know what to expect; maybe Kevin had a dragon in his pants for all you knew.

• he wasn't soft, but he was cutting the pain short. He made you feel hurt and kissed you tenderly the next second not to let you retaliate. At first, you just had to whitstand the pain, thinking it was normal. That's how it happens for the first time: the feeling of something tearing, and blood, and razor sharp pain. You were very aroused and very drunk, so even the pain ceased soon, and it was actually almost good.

• you went to the bathroom to clean yourself and cried, you didn't know why. Not like you now were a different person. You emerged, talking about the sad state of your makeup, and the room was empty.

• Kevin was downstairs chatting with a girl you didn't know, and when you tugged on his sleeve, he gave you a blind look, like he was seeing you for the first time. He was done with you, the look said. He didn't even smile anymore; he just looked tired, like you intervened in a mildly entertaining experience.

• for the rest of the month you were crushed. You didn't talk about it with friends: in fact, you lied to them that you had an argument with Kevin and never had sex. You were so ashamed to be a victim of such a simple, banal, everyday scam. You were now seeing him for what he was. Just a guy with the looks who was bored.

• you completely forgot about the project, it just came to a halt by itself

• you started alienating yourself from your friends, which wasn't too hard

• you started having lunch alone, and going to classes alone, too.

• you spent a lot of time thinking about the damn dress you wore at a party, as if it was the root of all evil that happened

• you were wallowing in the feeling of betrayal, the impotent desire to crash his face with a hammer. You were brokenhearted, being dragged down from the heavens of being special right to the pits of being played.

• after weeks of mourning your naivity, and your pure feelings for him, your past wish to awaken something good in Kevin, you felt so idiotic, perhaps even more idiotic than the stupidest person in this school. You were a laughing stock for your own self. Your pride was crushed, and your heart was broken.

• eventually you thought, well, it's schooltime. A lot of girls experience this. Maybe in fifteen years' time it will all seem like a minor failure and a useful lesson.

• right? In fifteen years?

• in the beginning of May, Kevin suddenly sat at your table at the closing of lunch. After weeks of literally no communication, dismissive, slightly surprised glances when you happened to be in his eye sight spot, he suddenly reappeared.

• "You didn't tell your friends even? Will you let me get away with it after all?"

• you looked at his face drawn with curiosity and laughter. He was laughing at you. His boyish, demonic beauty was now poisoned with the ugliness of his insides. Earlier, he was like a rare animal from the northern mountains, that was so evasive it seemed like treasure. He was mysterious, impeccable. Too good for you. Now, it was the handsomness of a used mannequin, with the paint faded. Too much blood in the smile.

• "What do you want, Kevin?"

• it's been moments after a short exchange that you felt rage in you. The rage you've been fostering this whole month. You stood up from the table and swung your arm with enthusiasm, and then landed your closed fist on his cheekbone.

• Kevin's reaction was slow, horrifying. In his eyes, you saw the immediate danger to your whole life. He didn't say anything as he rose from the chair, and you noticed his eyes scanning the yard. What if someone witnessed the punch?

• you tried to hit him again, on the shoulder, but he caught your hand, and suddenly, crushing pain sliced through your wrist. He was much stronger than you.

• this time, he approached you so decisively that for a second your only instinct was to fly, but your hand was caught up in his fist. Really, you got scared of him.

• "Never do that again", he said, as his hand took you by the back of your neck. He tilted your head back to look straight into your face, and all the possible trauma made you see the allure again. Yes, he was still laughably attractive, without even trying. He was just a walking trap, and all of your good intentions for him had just been horny.

• "Or I will snap your neck and forget about you in a second".

• the punch was good; a scarlett spot was forming on the side of his face. You were afraid to move because you could feel your wrist on the point of breaking. Such sharp pain, the third time in nine months, and the source of it, again, was Kevin.

• "Say you're sorry"

• "I'm sorry", you whimpered, "that you're such a monster who's unable to love, Kevin".

• you got ready to deal with the broken wrist and closed your eyes, expecting anything. He let go of you. "Love is a big word for you".

• you didn't know how jealous he was of Damon Salvatore.

• as the school year was drawing to an end, the school team started rehearsing

• the rehearsals were always fun; although you never even thought of getting into the cheerleaders, and you had exactly the amount of interest in basketball to understand what's going on.

• it was fun because the team consisted of all the people you knew; there was a lot of students you had good relationship with; the cheerleaders were all very easy going girls, and beautiful, at that. It wasn't like in the Mean Girls.

• and the spectators always brought pizza, or some snacks, to entertain themselves during the long, repetitive rehearsals. You liked to visit them because it was better than hanging out at home with your dysfunctional family.

• the last rehearsals were held in the evening of the 8th of April.

• as you sat there, you vaguely remembered, randomly, that it was to be Kevin's birthday soon; maybe in a week, or less. You pretended not to care, pretended to yourself.

• closer to the end of rehearsal, as people started leaving, your best friend, the one who was concerned about Kevin and even put herself in the position between you, said that her boyfriend had messaged her. She had to leave. You said goodbye and decided to wait for the end. Looking at the girls was mesmerizing; the way they did the combinations and screamed the chants. You thought it was very cool to be a cheerleader; but you weren't tall, or nimble, or beautiful enough.

• the main door was locked from the outside; probably the strings have gone bad again, and the entrance has been deemed a no go. So, your friend circled around the hall a little, tugging the doors with surprise. Finally, she found one working exit and left. As she was leaving, Khatchadourian walked into her, or rather, they ran into each other.

• "Leaving already?" he asked, with a smile. She said nothing and walked away.

• Kevin locked the door behind her. She turned around, puzzled, because her brain hadn't registered at once that Kevin was carrying a stack of arrows with him.

• As he started shooting his classmates, the swarm of people was lifted up, like an avalanche, and started making it for the entrance. The doors were locked. He repositioned, climbing up the spectator's rows, and finally had the perfect spot. From above, in the bunch of people, he saw you.

• you wondered, as all the noise left your brain, and the pale circles started pulsating in your eyes, why you didn't know earlier.

• in the moments he was swinging for someone's throat, or when he was threatening you, or when his face dropped the smile by the snap of the fingers. How do you even foresee something like that?

• you watched his face, a grimace of hatred, not indifferent anymore. He was aiming with his bare teeth, wallowing in every cry of the people he shot; the sound of arrows was almost comforting, whistling around like a seagull that passes over you quietly. Among the roar of the hall, the sound of arrows was so calming and so loud.

• you tried to group yourself, to make yourself smaller, because there were actually very few people left; seven or nine, in fact. But there was nowhere to run. Macey Walken, who ran for the side entrance, got a scarlet arrow into her back, and fell suddenly as if something pulled her. You looked at the floor, into a pool of someone's blood. Kevin was walking down carefully, between the seats, sending the arrows with accurate aim. He didn't even look like a human anymore; it was hard to describe him.

• he neutralized the three teachers first, then went for the students. Paul died in the other side of the hall in his purple and gold uniform. The cheerleader girls were running in circles, in zigzags, clearly entertaining him, moving targets. Kevin now almost approached the last group of five people, where you sat on the floor, numb with scream that never left your mouth, your legs paralyzed completely. He was killing you all one by one, from left to right. Ben, Mary, Meredith. Finally, the bow and arrow were turned towards you, mechanically.

• Kevin pulled the string and then relaxed it, keeping the arrow to himself, and moved on.

• you did manage to become the special girl after all.

[dazedvivenne]

REQUEST ARE OPEN!!!

WHO DO I WRITE FOR?

I currently write for

Rafe Cameron

Kevin Khatchadourian

Henry Bowers

Patrick Hockstetter

Donnie Darko

Bill skarsgard (characters + him)

Drew Starkey (+ Any other character of his)

Negan Smith

Tate Langdon

Kit Walker

James Patrick March

Kai Anderson

Kyle Spencer

Darry Jenner

IF you have someone specific in your mind, request it and I will try my best to write it!

WHAT DO I WRITE?

Literally everything, I have to no limits so go crazy.

Please go request something about your favourite character <3

[starvingmedievalpeasant]

you guys got no idea what i'm cooking in this bitch rn

[b-rainlet]

We need more mother/son abuse in media

[kausstar]

— ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ light showers , kevin khatchadourian .

no description of reader besides you liking rain. fluff. swearing. the reader and kevin get wet by rain. him being suggestive but no mature content. not proofread.

the last couple weeks had been cloudy and windy, but no rain. it was unfortunate because you liked the rain. the sound it made hitting the roads and ground, the smell it gave off ever so slightly- that didn’t smell bad but not good either. you appreciated it in full so when you heard on the news it was raining you were excited to sit by your window to see and smell it, but then you remembered what you had to do that same afternoon.

“kevin, they said it’s gonna rain later,” you said to your boyfriend as you watched him pick up his arrows and bow, from his closet. he had asked you a couple times if you wanted to learn and you never really cared to but he did. he wanted you to learn so then the two of you could shoot together- at least that’s what he had told you.

he walked over to you who stood in his doorway and stops in front of you. “so? what’s so bad about getting a little wet?” he asked grinning before walking passed you. you follow shortly behind him as the two of you traveled downstairs. “you could get sick,” you said, eyes glued to the way the tight white shirt hugs his back as you walk down each step.

“we,” he corrected. you were always so worried about him, he found it cute. it was favorite thing about you besides… “we could get sick,” you added, following him to his back porch. before opening the door, he turns to look at you.

“we won’t. now, can you shut it and come on?” sadly, you weren’t going to win but at least you tried, and you knew if eva ever suggested the two of come inside once she came downstairs he would just simply ignore her. before you could even agree, he walks out to the backyard. you followed from the white porch to the green grass and watched as he sets up the target.

“c’mere,” he said soon after finishing, making you walk over. “turn,” he added and you spun around, your back facing him. feet away from the target, he comes up from behind you and engulfs you in his warmth. you’re confused but when he tells you to raise your hand and you spot the bow in his hand you understand why he’s standing so close.

he gave you instructions on how to hold it, where to position your fingers, where not to hold too tight and everything else, but you were barely listening to. you weren’t listening because you weren’t interested but because you could feel light rain drops dripping on your body as time went by, also because of the raising heat between your bodies.

“steady,” he says, voice so close and soft in your ear. your breath became slightly caught in your chest as you tried to stay as steady as possible. the rain was at a light shower now but you could feel it getting a bit heavier. your clothes were getting wetter by the minute. but you didn’t mind much, you were too focused on his warm hands resting on yours.

steadily, you let go of the arrow and it hits the second ring. you could practically hear the smile on his face as he pulls away from you. “good. now one more-” he starts, grabbing another arrow but someone from inside his home interrupts. “come inside you too!” the two you quickly recognized the voice as his mothers’ and spot her standing at the door. her clothes wore lightly rain droplets unlike the two of you who were soaked.

kevin didn’t reply to her just simply turned his back and faced you. “one more, for me?” he asks, as your eyes lingered on the wet shirt that was glued to his skin with water and his wet hair. you nod, mindlessly and a grin grows on his face. he gives a glance to his mother who only looks at him with a frown the door.

the rain continues to pour down as you pull the string of the bow back and your eyes stay straight up ahead, towards the target. kevin checks your aim by looking ahead then your focus by looking at you but can’t take his off of you. you don’t notice kevin’s stare until you’ve let the arrow lose and you smile good as it punctures a hole in the center. kevin doesn’t look at the target but spot your smile so he gives you a proud grin. you look over at kevin for approval, not expecting him to be looking at you but when you catch his dark eyes looking at your lips, your heart races.

kevin isn’t afraid to lean in but he doesn’t lean in to touch the lips- just brush them so then he can see how needy you are for the kiss. as expected, you’re quick to close in the gap and kiss him. rain drops ran down your faces, joining the full kiss. without much thought, kevin deepened the kiss, seeking the warmth your mouth provided.

your lips were his favorite thing about you. the warmth of them, how sometimes they’re slightly chapped or nice and soft, how they look so pretty wrapped around his…

“kevin!”

his mother called once again making him pull away from you and groans loudly. you chuckle at his annoyed state. “come on,” you say turning around before putting the bow in one hand and holding his hand in the other. “i’m definitely gonna shower,” you say stepping onto the porch.

“we’re,” he corrected once again with a grin.

“we’re definitely gonna shower.”

 2023 kausstar.

i bit of kevin like some of you wanted. also gonna be posting something for tyler tmr or the day after before y’all send a hitman on me.

[evanpeterswhoresblog]

Office Secrets

Luke Cooper x f!reader

TW: smut, p in v, unprotected, fingering… lmk if there’s anything else lol

Word count: 1526

Friendly note, I wrote this all in one day so it’s probably not the best but I’ve been so obsessed w Evan lately I just needed to write lol Enjoy!!!

~~~

“So, who wants to bet the two newbies are doing it?” Meredith says as she puts coins into one of the vending machines.

“They so are,” Kevin says. “Have you seen the way they look at each other it’s like- Pam and Jim.”

“Hey!”

Angela shakes her head. “You people are disgusting… but I wouldn’t doubt it. I’ve seen them flirting on multiple occasions.”

“This is all circumstantial, it doesn’t mean they’re sleeping together,” Oscar argues.

“I would bet they are,” Phillas says with a laugh. “I mean I remember how fun it was being all secret with Bob, it’s so thrilling.”

Pam glances at you in the annex, Luke’s leaning back on your desk, smiling as you two talk. She looks back to the group and shrugs. “It’s possible they are.”

~~~

“Hey y/n, do you think you could make some copies for me?” Pam asks as you’re walking by.

“Yeah of course, double or single sided?” You reply with a smile.

“Double please.” She hands you the original.

You walk to the copier, but as you’re about to open it, Luke slips in front of you.

“Luke I was about to make copies,” you say, annoyed.

“So do I, you aren’t the only person in the office who needs to get stuff done,” he laughs.

“Since when have you ever had things to get done? You’re the laziest person here.”

“That’s hostile,” he replies, turning around to give you a smirk. “I might have to report you to HR.”

“Just please hurry up,” you mumble.

“Anything for you babe.” He winks.

You turn to the camera and stare, almost at your limit with this boy.

~~~

“I just don’t understand men sometimes it’s like, he’s so different when we’re alone yet in public he wants to be the biggest ass ever,” you rant to the camera, you’re in the hallway near the elevator where no one will hear you. “Sometimes I just want to knee him in the balls and get on with my day.”

“If he’s so annoying why do you sleep with him?”

You frown. “He’s really good at that stuff, most assholes are honestly.”

~~~

You’re at the vending machine getting a snack when you feel arms snake around your waist. You quickly turn around and push him away.

“Luke stop it we can’t be doing this here,” you whisper.

He looks out the windows then back at you. “Nobody’s around, come on just one kiss. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since last night baby.”

You and Luke were hired about three weeks ago now, both just interns to help out with the little things around the office. At first you thought Luke was an idiot slack off, but after a week of him constantly flirting with you, you decided he wasn’t that bad of a guy and of course he’s gorgeous. And, after one night where he gave you a ride home this simple work crush turned into casual sex.

You made Luke promise to keep it a secret, you didn’t want anyone at the office to think your personal life would interfere with you doing your job. So, far you don’t think anyone has figured it out, and your glad.

“Don’t talk like that here,” you say, giving him a slight glare. “We made a deal.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“I’m serious Luke, imagine if Michael found out. He’d make it a whole thing.”

“It probably already is a thing, Jim and Pams was.”

You scoff at him. “Okay, that doesn’t mean this has to be.”

“Whatever,” he says as he begins to walk away. “See you later.”

You give an annoyed look to the camera and shake your head before returning to your previous activity.

~~~

“Listen, y/n is a good girl I guess, I just wish she’d stop acting like the office finding out about our thing is the worst possibility imaginable,” Luke tells the crew outside the break room.

“What do you think would happen if they found out?”

“I don’t know, they’d give us weird looks. It doesn’t really matter it’s not like me and her are gonna be working here forever. At least I know I’m not, not sure what her life plans are.”

~~~

You stare at the clock and sigh, still a whole nother hour left at the office. This whole day has been terrible, mostly due to Luke. You don’t understand why he’s acting so annoying today. Usually he’s decent toward you, probably because of what he wants from you the second work ends. You turn back to your desk and start to organize papers, deciding Luke isn’t important.

A few have passed when Luke appears beside you. He leans back on your desk, one of his hands gripping the edge. You try to ignore him, keeping your attention on the stack of paper you’ve been messing with. Luke doesn’t let you ignore him forever though.

“Can you come with me somewhere where we can speak privately… away from the cameras.”

You look up at him. Is this it? Is he really going to break it off at work? You can’t believe it. You want to give him a piece of your mind, so you slightly nod and get up, following him out of the annex and down the hall to one of the stock rooms. You’re ready to start giving it to him but before you can he smashes his lips on yours.

At first, you’re caught off guard, he’s never kissed you at work before. You don’t hesitate to kiss him back however. He backs you up till the back of your legs hit a spare desk. You let him guide you onto it, your kiss turning into something more.

He bites down on your lip, his hands roaming up and down the sides of your body. You have to admit, you’d been craving this too. Even though you saw each other last night. Luke was the best you’d ever had, how were you supposed to not want him again? Even though he’s been annoying you all day you can’t help but melt into the palm of his hand, he’s just so damn attractive.

“Luke, we can’t do this at work,” you whisper, the sensible part of you taking over.

“Nobody will know, come on baby, I’ve been thinking of you all day. I need you,” he replies.

Your stomach fills with butterflies at his words. He knows exactly how to persuade you. You fall back on the desk as he kisses down your neck, Your legs wrap around his waist, he makes you feel so good. He brings his lips back up to yours as one of his hands starts to slip up your skirt and under your panties.

He starts to rub small circles on your clit; you to moan into his mouth. He smirks against your mouth. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer, you love the feeling of his body against yours. It’s the best you’ve ever felt.

“You’re already so wet baby,” he mumbles on your lips.

“Luke,” you moan.

“Do you want it baby?”

You nod, moving one of your hands down to rub the bulge in his pants. He grins at you and removes his fingers, beginning to undo his belt and fly. In seconds you feel his tip brushing against your entrance. He leans back over you as he begins to slowly thrust inside of you. You bite down on your lip and close your eyes, the familiar feeling of him filling you taking over.

You throw your head back as he starts fucking you. The sound of the desk hitting the wall doesn’t even register in your head. You’re too engulfed in how good Luke’s dick feels inside you, hitting that special spot that makes your legs shake. His head rests in the crook of your neck, he’s moaning and whispering all the dirty things he wants to do to you. It’s all too good to be true.

Eventually though, you feel that tightening in your stomach, your orgasm approching. Luke must realize this because he doesn’t stop his violent thrusts for even a second. You hold on to him tightly, biting down on his clothed shoulder as you finally cum. He finishes with you, pushing himself so far inside you he’s hitting your cervix.

He lays on you for a few seconds before pulling himself up enough to look down at you. His chest is still heaving as he speaks in a soft voice, “I really like you y/n.”

“I really like you too Luke,” you say with a weak smile.

Both of you get yourselves decent fast, you’ve been away for at least fifteen minutes by now. You give Luke one last kiss before exiting the small room alone, he promised to wait a minute or too before following.

As you sit at your desk and resume your previous activities, Luke walks by you, sending a quick wink before disappearing into the main office. You give a small stare into one of the cameras, your face turning bright red. This was only the beginning.

[slasherscream]

crazy ass boys gang finding the reader crying

crazy ass boys gang + finding you crying 

billy loomis: Hates seeing you cry but doesn’t panic about it. First things first, he needs to know what’s wrong. He’s patient while you cry through the entire explanation, no matter how long it takes for you to get it out. Once he knows what’s wrong, he’ll hug you until you’ve calmed down. After that, he tries to solve the problem. Very pragmatic about it all.

josh washington: Is no stranger to crying. His sisters cry. His friends cry. He cries. He’s used to it. It still breaks his heart that you’re upset. Goes all out while trying to make you feel better. Will order all your favorite food, run you a bath, light some candles, pour you a glass of wine. Anything and everything you need. You can’t cry if you’re too busy being pampered.

stu macher: Struggles a little with empathy at times, so his gut reaction is not taking it very seriously. If you seem really upset, or you keep crying after he initially tries to cheer you up with jokes or baiting you into getting angry instead of sad, he gets a little anxious. Will do pretty much anything to make you stop crying at this point, because he's now personally uncomfortable. But it seems like he's just stressed about seeing you cry, so it cheers you up a little. It's great to have such a loving boyfriend, after-all.

jd/jason dean: If you’re not crying because someone did something to you, then speak up now or forever hold your peace. Otherwise, he will jump to conclusions and he will go kill someone. Once you assure him that nobody did anything to you (if he believes you), he will comfort you. He’s honestly pretty good at it too. Will hold you for as long as you need and never judge you for anything you say out of frustration or anger. 

kevin khatchadourian: Isn’t very concerned, full-stop. Crying and sadness is an emotion that he’s completely unaccustomed to. He’s observed it, sure, but he doesn’t understand it. Still, he knows it benefits him to get you to stop crying. It also strengthens the bond between you when he does things like comfort you. Since it does have a tangible effect on your relationship, he’ll comfort you. If there’s a problem he can solve even better. If it was a person who made you cry... good luck to them.

nathan prescott: Absolutely panics. Was not born with the ability to comfort anyone. He can’t even self soothe and now he has to help someone else do it? Still, he does hate to see you cry. It’s best if he finds you crying somewhere private. He can’t be caring in front of an audience, no matter how much he may want to. His ego wouldn’t be able to take it. If you’re alone, he’ll do his best. He’ll put on the sounds of whale calls (is that to calm you down or him? who knows), and then just hold you. He’ll listen to whatever you have to say but won’t give any advice. He goes to you for advice, he doesn’t think he has any wisdom to offer you. But just him being there, quietly trying to support you when you can tell just how out of his comfort zone he is, means a lot to you.

sebastian valmont: Is actually very good at comforting you. How people work is his favorite subject. He’s an observer, and a talented one at that. He knows exactly what to do and exactly what will help. If you need a shoulder to cry on, he’s there. If you need someone to bitch to who agrees with everything you say, he’s wonderful. If you need advice, you’ll be shocked at how perfectly he can assess your problem. If you need pampering, he’s got the spa privately booked. By the end of the day, you’ll forget you were upset at all.

david mccall: Babies you. It would be condescending if you didn’t need it so badly. He’s determined to solve all your problems. He wants to be your hero. Something going wrong at work? He’ll step in. A friend stressing you out? He’ll “talk” to them. He pulls you into his lap and makes you pour your aching little heart out. “I’ll take care of it, baby,” and he’s not just sweet talking you. Watch exactly what you say to him, unless you don’t mind him solving certain problems permanently.

sparrow!ben hargreeves: Another one who is awful at comforting you. He didn’t get any comfort growing up and he certainly doesn’t get any now. The way he solves his problems is by taking it out on criminals and having a stiff drink afterwards. Will awkwardly go for holding you and order you not to cry because it will ruin his designer shirt. If that gets a laugh out of you, he’ll breathe a sigh of relief. It makes the situation feel less alien (and scary) to him. He settles on holding you for as long as you need and trying to keep his mouth shut. He can be bitchy when he’s worried and he doesn’t want to set you off into another crying spell. 

like my writing? support me through my cashapp or kofi! both are slasherscream.

[kevinsbabydoll]

🏹— victoria’s secret, k. khatchadourian x fem!reader

kevin doesnt like the mall. he thinks it’s a colossal waste of time to spend hours upon hours shopping for things you don’t really need. ‘it’s mindless consumerism,’ he’ll say whenever you ask him if he wants to come shopping with you. he’ll drag along behind you, and won’t bother to mask his disgust. ‘do you really need another dress? he’d ask, ‘your closet is overflowing with unnecessary excess’ he’d say.

what he does like, however, is telling you what to buy. does he particularly care if you buy a pink dress or a blue one? not at all, but the thought of manipulating you into dressing for his personal preferences and aesthetic gets him giddy.

so he’ll come with you to try on some new clothes, even give his input here and there. and that’s why he’s standing here outside the dressing room of some clothing store he doesn’t know the name of with a look of apathy on his face. the music playing is starting to get on his nerves, so he hopes you’ll be done in here soon.

“kev?” you peek your head out of the curtain to see if he’s still there. he raises a brow and looks at you expectantly, waiting to see what you’ve picked out now. you step out and give him a shy look. you’re not sure about this one, since kevin was glaring at it particularly harshly when you had grabbed it off the hanger.

it’s a brown babydoll style top, you liked the way it accentuated your breasts, but you weren’t sure that kevin would like the colour. one look at his wrinkled brow and unimpressed expression and you can tell that you’re not going to buy it. “you don’t like it?” you ask innocently, waiting for a verbal answer.

“brown? really? that color is so dull and uninspiring...” kevin says plainly, staring at you with a look of indifference. you nod and turn back into the dressing room, “yeah… you’re right..i don’t think i’m gonna get it.” once you’re behind the curtain, kevin smiles. he likes to give you the illusion of a choice, even though he knows you’ll do exactly what he wants you to.

you look like a kicked puppy when you come out holding the discarded top. you leave it on the rack and kevin sighs once he sees your expression. “if you’re just gonna pout about my opinions, why do you keep asking for them?” he’s scowling now, and you know you shouldn’t have been so apparent, “i’m not pouting, i’m just disappointed i haven’t found any nice tops yet..” you say shyly, looking at your boyfriend’s expression.

the two of you walk out of the store, you’re carrying some bags filled with a few skirts and some flared jeans. you found out that kevin likes pink on you, since it’s pretty much the only colour of anything you’ve tried on that he hasn’t blatantly said he hated. you’re walking towards another store, but stop outside of victoria’s secret.

kevin sees your eyes light up, and he plays the role of the doting boyfriend once again. “you wanna try something on in here?” he wasn’t expecting this. you nod and lead him into the store. you walk towards a pink babydoll with a black bow around the waist, and hold it up against your body. “what do you think, kev? do you like it?” you ask excitedly. he gives you a smirk, “you should grab a few like that and try them on,” this was the most enthusiastic you’ve seen him all afternoon. (which is to say, not sulking and being slightly hurtful) you nod excitedly and grab a few more sets. your arms are full and you walk towards the dressing room.

you get undressed and the babydoll over your head, admiring how it flatters your curves and makes your breasts look perfect. with the baby pink and black, it’s the perfect combination of innocent and sexy. you’re excited to show kevin, so you unlock the door and position yourself on the doorframe. you try to pose seductively for him, but kevin thinks you look more like a baby kitten.

“look at you, all dolled up in that pretty lingerie” he teases, sliding a hand onto your waist, sliding up upwards past your breast. you feel your breath catch in your chest as your boyfriend’s face gets closer to yours. you admire his pretty face, and lean in for a kiss, but he pulls his lips away; he’s teasing you. you whine, and close the space between the two of you. his lips are slightly chapped, so you think he must’ve bitten them. you smile into the kiss and kevin pulls away, so you turn to go try on the others.

as you walk into back into the dressing room, you notice kevin following you in. before you can ask what he’s crashing his lips against yours. the door slams and he shoves you against the wall. “kev.. i thought you wanted me to try these other—”you’re cut off by a moan escaping your throat. kevin wastes no time unbuttoning his jeans and pulling out his cock. the tip is flushed pink and leaking, and you figure his boner must’ve been really uncomfortable in those tight jeans of his.

you should’ve known that this was a bad idea, you can tell just by the way he’s looking at you that you’ll be screaming his name. you’re pressed up against the mirror and kevin has a hand around the fabric covering your tummy. he pushes his cock inside you, making you moan. his hips are snapping into yours roughly and you’re trying not to scream his name in the middle of the store.

“oh god, kevin…!” you moan, “we’re in public…” kevin doesn’t seem to care, as he only thrusts harder. “yeah, so you better keep your mouth shut,” he growls into your ear, and bites your earlobe. kevin’s cock kisses your cervix; you start feel overwhelmed with pleasure, and the coil in your tummy is about you unravel. “oh god! kev.. ‘m gonna cum…” you moan, trying to keep your voice down. the shameful thought of one of the employees catching you and kevin fucking in the dressing room is enough to push you to orgasm. you’re worried about the babydoll getting ruined, but kevin shows a level of uncharacteristic restraint.

he enjoys the lingerie. usually, kevin prefers you wear nothing at all, but there’s something about seeing you in the lingerie that makes him feel something deep in his gut. it reminds him of your innocence. he finishes in you with a soft whimper. you feel his cum fill you up and he leans on your shoulder for a brief moment.

you take a deep breath and look at kevin. “i can’t believe we just did that” you whisper with wide eyes. he smirks at your expression and pulls his pants back over his hips. he walks out coolly without saying a single word. you get dressed again and head out of the dressing room. you decide you’re gonna get all of the lingerie you picked out, even though you didn’t try the other ones on. you walk with kevin to the till and give the cashier all of the garments.

“oh.. i dunno if i’m gonna have enough for all of these..” you frown once the cashier rings them all through and you see the total of $250. you’re trying to decide which ones to keep and which ones to put back when kevin speaks up.

“i’ll get them for you,” he smiles with faux chivalry, pulling his credit card out of his jeans pocket. the cashier takes it and starts to bag your lingerie once its all been paid for. “kevin, i didn’t know you had a credit card..” you say dumbly as he throws an arm around your waist loosely. you take the bag from the cashier and begin to walk out of the store. “i don’t,” he smirks at you and pockets eva’s card. as you’re leaving, kevin decides that maybe the mall isn’t that bad.

[ang3lik]

──⠀⠀ kevin khatchadourian⠀!

[roseisbeautiful]

Barry Allen with a Goth gf:

Barry allen x F!reader

Warning:I'm not good at english. Tons of fluff, kissing and making out

He was scared to talk to you at first. People made rumors of you so he sort of believed it.

That was until he interacted with you and he thought you were fun and much more nicer than most people he'd met in the university.

He started to think you were beautiful with or without your make up.

He knows your black clothes were a lot to handle for people who thought you were a freak, everytime he would try to defend you.

He literally thinks you're a whole goddess.

He loves kissing you and he loves it when you kiss him because black lipstick just gets stuck on him.

You make out a lot anywhere even, but you don't do it infront of people ofcourse. He likes to take control of the kissing but not in bed.

Sometimes when you wake up next to each other he thinks you're like a black cat and somehow he just starts playing with his hair

When you found out about his abilities you were really amazed and sort of used it for certain advantages.

Sometimes you'd use it to get groceries faster or sometimes you get him to clean in the last minute cause both of you are tired.

But that doesn't mean you want to tire him out just because he's a speedy, you still treat him how you used to treat him

All tho you guys don't want to have children you both have fur-babies for you is a cat doesn't matter what breed but for Barry its a golden retriever.

He is rather a little spoon

He likes your hugs

If you are a short person but wears platforms, Barry is concerned because how is your feet doing? Does it hurt for you? Are you tired?

He constantly reminds you to drink water because you forget sometimes

You watch Elvira or Beetle juice together, see he can't really watch a lot of gothic movies because it isn't really in his level of fun. But he still tries for you tho!

You try to make him listen to gothic music as well but he just can't like it. He likes pop more or rock! He just isn't a big fan of what you like. He still tries to listen to it with you, so don't get mad at him😔😔

------------------------------------------------------------------

This is shit I'm so sorry I was bored😔😔

------------------------------------------------------------------

[werezmastarbucks]

kevin khatchadourian x female reader timeline of relationship pt 2

first part

warnings: mutual abuse, mentions of school shooting, folie a deux, mentions of stalking, mentions of suicidal thoughts, self-harm, living with trauma, otherwise it's fun! also, Kevin gets way more jail time while I'm captaining this ship

• Kevin got a reduced sentence, because at the time of the shooting he was just three days shy of sixteen

• that shows that he was calculating from the beginning to the end. Moreover, he calculated exactly how much time it would take him to fuck you, and he managed to do it even with some spare time left

• the headlines screamed of despair. You heard that Kevin had killed his father and his little sister - that angelic, innocent, happy girl, before going to school

• there were many times when you asked yourself why he spared you

• but there were now other things to think about. Like, how you were supposed to go on living now. Your own little grudge about that night at the party dissipated and became a minor failure even before the calendar year was out.

• you heard his mum sold the house and moved away on the outskirts of the city. She didn't leave the town though, because at first, Kevin was held at the local facility for minors.

• even you got your share of hatred, to say nothing about his mother.

• the police investigated you mildly, because you were the only survivor in the massacre. They quickly understood you hadn't conspired with Kevin. But people didn't care.

• very soon, you moved away and left the town, and school, behind you.

• five years of therapy, contemplation, heartache, spent with total lack of comprehension of what had transpired. Weeks turned into months as you went into a frenzy, sitting in your room, staring at the walls, trying to find your place in this story.

• you were recalling all of the moments you spent with him, one by one, trying to find the second he snapped. You remembered how you marveled at the beautiful stack of arrows on his wall. Just like Robin Hood's.

• five years of therapy, and self-reflexion. And then, when you were twenty years old, you decided to google his name for the first time in all that time.

• "I don't know why I did it: Kevin Khatchadourian, school shooter with a bow, has been transferred to the adult prison". An article from three years ago. There was a lot of news about him, a lot of pictures of Kevin. Him in his orange costume, hair cut short, and he looked like a disgraced puppy, lost. He was almost nothing without his magical poetic hair.

• one of the videos from court displayed him crying, hiding his face in his hands. You knew these tears were nothing but an act; just a thing everybody expected, or maybe, he wanted to try, and see if the reaction would be to his benefit.

• "The Robin Hood school shooter feels remorse, apologizes to families"

• there were even articles about you, though, in fewer numbers. Still, some theories that you helped Kevin to lock the hall; or that you were his sex toy that he had mercy on. As you went deeper on the internet, there were even accusations of satanism and demonology.

• through the news articles you watched Kevin grow. He turned seventeen, eighteen, then, his hair grew a little. Today, he was being fried in the adult prison. Very soon, there was another school shooting in the same state, so everybody forgot about Kevin Khatchadourian. Plus, he killed so few people; just seven. Weak. Reading this number, every time all these five years, you were taken aback. The whole ordeal felt like it lasted at least an hour. You were seeing everything in slow motion

• the truth was, every time you closed your eyes, for the longest time after, you started seeing Kevin's distorted face. As he grinned with hatred while he was killing your classmates. Little tiger cubs make that face when they learn to roar.

• the latest pictures of him were from the last year; he was a young man of twenty now. His black slick hair brushed back, bruises on his cheekbones. He was a broken man, the light dull in his eyes. Only in the corners of his mouth, there was the old Kevin. The Kevin who laughed at dumb people.

• sooner or later it was inevitable that you started asking yourself questions you couldn't answer. Could I have prevented it? To what degree has he been using me? Why did he spare me? Not like he cared about me? In his eyes, as he looked at me in the yard, there was nothing but resentment.

• you went to see him in prison, thinking about how you looked to someone who hadn't seen you in years. Thinking about your classmates who didn't get to be twenty, nineteen, throwing hats in the air, buying cars, traveling the world.

• all your unrequitted loving, and the dark undulgence, the sense of being the chosen one aside, you thought of those teenagers they used to be and stayed forever, and you wished to be in their place. Because then, you wouldn't have to see Kevin again.

• he looked worn out, but wild in a way, the same pitch-black hair, the same empty stare. Only, it became completely hollow now. His eyes only lit up for a secons when he saw you entering the room.

• you trembled with the realization that this person on front of you, behind the glass, killed seven people you knew, and was now smiling to you. A grown-up cougar. Unaffected, bored, like your coming was a matter-of-fact occurrence.

• his first question was what took you so long. He thought you'd run with lectures and commeuppances ages ago.

• his face sported a split eyebrow, there was a bruise on his forehead. His cheekbone was cut, it seemed, some time ago already, and a pink scar made his perfect fucking face asymmetrical.

• "Did you get beaten up?" you asked. He replied that he had got into a fight. His knuckles were torn to shreds almost, it was unpleasant to look at them; his skin was pale, pulled over his skull. Black circles around the eyes told you he didn't sleep well. He looked ever more like a vampire. The unpleasant kind, not like from the Vampire Diaries.

• he tried to ask you again, why you didn't visit him earlier. His mum was the only one, he said, who ever came, besides the lawyers and the journalists. You scoffed at it and left it without the answer. His eyes were palpating you, examining. His mouth slightly agape. He hasn't seen a woman, you thought, except his mother, for a very long time.

• "I came to ask you one question", you said, and Kevin made the face of annoyance. You went on anyway. "Why did you kill my friends?" He mocked you. Why did he do it. If only you knew how many people came here and sat in your place, and asked the same stupid question. Have you people no imagination nor consciousness to bore him with that? Like he knew. "Because I could", he spat out, "because I wanted to, and I had the means. Because I was annoyed with those people, and they made me irritated. What reasons do you want? I have no idea why I fucking did it; to piss you off? To make you spend five fucking selfish years thinking about why I fucking did it".

• you were not impressed. You didn't expect a fifteen year old narcissist to comprehend his own actions completely.

• "Why did you spare me then?" He shrugged.

• "Because you were nice to me".

• "I punched you in the face".

• he shrugged again like it didn't matter. But it did matter to him back then.

• you're like a robot, you said, you're not supposed to feel anything for a girl who you fucked and threw out like a sock with dry cum. You're a machine and you shouldn't feel anything. It irritated Kevin, this comparison with an inanimate object. Truth was, you were trying to get to his core, to hurt him as bad as you could, to see if he's still alive at all.

• "What's your point?" why didn't you kill me with the rest of them?

• he clutched the phone and rolled his eyes like you were asking the stupidest possible questions. His eyes then drifted down to your chest, where, propped against the glass, was your arm with an old, long scar from the razor.

• "Why, you have a death wish now?" he whispered. A familiar lustful smile was curling his lips. You noticed another scar on his lip, from someone's fist. It must be tough for the pretty boy here at prison. You wondered if the inmates were afraid of him.

• "I could organise it, you know". You realized he almost never, if ever, called you by your name. At all, as if it didn't exist. You wondered if he even knew your name at all.

• "You can't, you're in prison. You're a rat behind the glass. Do you understand, Kevin, that some of the parents of my dead friends, killed themselves years later?"

• he swayed his head with a question, like, what's he have to do with this information?

• "And", you panted now, "all because of one angry boy, and you're... it's the lack of grey matter in your brain poless, Kevin. You're a psychopath. And it's not good, do you understand, you're less than others. You're a little bit less of a human than the rest of us".

• finally, you saw the look of indignation on him. It was rage and disgust, but so quiet that his face just elongated, like a cat's. He was silent, burying you with his stare.

• "We all need one thing, Kevin. All of us. But you can't have it. It is inaccessible to you. That's why you did it".

• Kevin's nostrils were flaring. You put down the phone and stood up to leave. You could hear him scream through the glass. You caught him right by the balls. He was so smart, so, so intelligent unlike all these dumb people. But he couldn't guess what you meant. All these years he'd been searching for the answer, and it was just out of his reach.

• "What? What is it? What is it? What is it, Y/N?"

• he got fifteen years, actually. So, he was out when he was thirty. Still very young, all life to live. He pretended a lot in prison to get the appeal, but he was never granted it. Still, just fifteen years, and then he was out.

• you haven't seen him for ten years.

• the 8th of April was shifting further and further from you. Watching all the school shooting happening in the country was strange. Like almost each of them seemed a next chapter to you, like you were supposed to puzzle them all in, into one coherent picture. You changed jobs, you got in and out of relationships, none of which stuck. You didn't talk with your best friend from school, you drifted apart. You moved out and lived alone, acquiring lonely hobbies and observing people.

• the short visit to prison to see Kevin left a bleak impression of frustration. The memory of losing your virginity to him seemed like a minor failure still. You remembered that night very vividly, and now all of the time you were spending with him, was very clear to you.

• looking back, you saw the manipulation and hot and cold approach he practiced on you. You were something of a practice dummy for him. You could travel back in time and stand there next to yourself on the porch of someone's house and watch yourself kiss him for the first time. You could see him now, from a great angle, how he trapped you in his cobweb. How his eyes were never warm or loving, or even interested, but always calculating, measuring. He always looked at you, you realized, as if he was trying to guess your height for a coffin.

• you've never thought of the life 'after'. In your mind, the fifteen years of prison were eternal. You thought it was the period of time during which you would kill yourself

• you tried to learn everything about ASPD as if it could help you in anyway to deal with what had happened.

• the year when he got released, you only learned about it from the news.

• "Kevin Khatchadourian, the Robin Hood shooter, to be released this May". The article reminisced of the tragedy, and speculated on whether fifteen years have shaken Kevin enough for him to become a good boy. Kevin, it said, had gotten a pretty good rehabilitation back in the minor facility, and very rarely was in trouble at prison. He was an excellent inmate, obedient, friendly and very active at the workshops. He worked at the hospital wing and cared for other inmates. You wondered how many people he made die slowly and painfully, getting high on the power he had over them.

• not immediately did it shake you to reality: Kevin was now about to be free in two months. You tried not to stress about it too much. He didn't give a shit about you. Not then, not now. The therapy groups organized specifically for his victims and the families gathered that spring more often than usual. You weren't accepted there, weren't welcome. They couldn't forgive you for surviving.

• a week after his release you noticed Kevin on the other side of the street as you left for work in the morning. You didn't much care and ignored him. But the sight of him was something to think about. His hair was now long, almost to his shoulders. He was broad-shouldered, tall, and even from across the street you could see his warning eyes.

• you were careful not to get any pets or close friends. It wasn't a problem before, and it wasn't now.

• you cut yourself sometimes, and now started to do it more often - every time you caught yourself thinking, finally he's out.

• you've never gone to a proper doctor, only had therapy for five years, which you quit after visiting him in prison. It was all useless, you thought, because I still want him, and even more now. Everything that's happened to you shaped you into this creature of guilt and need.

• but also rage.

• he once held you by the throat and aimed an arrow at you, and since then, you barely felt fear, like someoned switched it off.

• Kevin came to your place. You tried to shut the door into his face, but he caught it. Close up, you could see his face, thin and pale with the lack of sun.

• he wanted to talk to you. Like adults.

• he said that no, you were never that special, but you actively chose him, again and again, and he was interested to find why. When it appeared so easy to make you have sex with him, he lost interest, but then, at the night of the massacre, for some reason, he just didn't feel like killing you

• you were nobody, to each other, he hasn't even thought about you the first five years, before you came to visit.

• then the thought of you became somewhat of obsession

• he probably idealized you

• you asked where he lived now, and he said that his mum bought a flat in the city and had a room for him. You called him pathetic. At first, he didn't react; he looked broken.

• but there was still the same sense of grandeur in him; you, a feeble creature, thought you could outpower him with only your fury and jealousy, indignation at what he'd done

• but, as Kevin once told you, the world was so unfair to little, pretty girls like you

• he threw you on the floor of your kitchen

• you laughed with relief, saying, "Finally! I thought just fifteen years of prison broke you like a dry twig".

• the look of recognition sparked in his eyes; he kneeled over you as if to say something, and you got his nose with your fist

• one would say it was a happy (in the most infernal way) reunion

• you fought, and laughed, and kicked each other, and kissed with the blood dripping heavily in between your mouths. Only there, in the isolated square of your apartment, you could finally confess to yourself that you didn't give a shit about anything; you haven't for some time.

• the blood was smeared on the floor, on the table, on the cupboards of the kitchen from how much you fought and punched each other

• he left you half dead, and redeemed, it felt

• he said that he'd return soon, and he expected you to be there waiting for him. He didn't want you to go to work or see anybody.

• you laughed at this suggestion and got up to tell him something to his face.

• he was in the bathroom, washing his face. The blood was dripping from his nose onto his t-shirt; he looked like a painting

• and paintings are objects you could own.

• you said "Make me"

• and his smile was almost happy; Kevin could only master so much, that it looked like a deranged grin. The time he spent on the bottom of helplessnes in prison, with nothing but his own self, changed the way he smiled. There was nothing behind his eyes when he smiled now.

• he promised he would go out and fuck whoever he wanted, and then return to you, smelling like other women, and there was nothing you could do about it

• you clenched your fists, but you were now so weak you could barely stand. Your whole body ached.

• he helped you shower and washed your hair, tugging on it, giving you instructions, like an idiot, expecting that he had the same control over you

• after work, you go straight home, you don't text with your parents, don't see your friends, every time you leave your house, you tell him where

• you laughed like crazy at these words.

• Kevin, Kevin. His name was like melody. The pain in your body, bruises, were the first thing you felt in a long time, and, coincidentally, they were connected with the feeling of elation you had now, that his hands were on your neck and your shoulders.

• you could fuck whoever you wanted, Kevin, but it would only happen one time, because if you do, I'll cut your balls off

• and to make him sure that you weren't bluffing, you tried to stab him with manicure scissors from the bathroom mirror.

• his reactions were fast, and he caught your hand inches from his face.

• as he looked down at you, sitting in your bathroom in the pool of pink blood, blood on your forehead, your eyes rolling, he thought about the time he finally started paying attention at school. The girl who loved frogs so much she couldn't look at dead ones. Weak-gutted.

• he now almost admired how deranged you have become. At the moment of epiphany he realized he was the one who made you like this. He was so, so happy. Or what he thought was happiness.

• you pulled on his collar, biting your lip, and put his face very close to yours

• "Don't fuck with me". He saw all the fun coming and he didn't have any desire to disobey.

• Look, what was that damn thing you were talking about when you visited?

• you watched his sculpted face and his sharp bones, the tilt of the head and the vampiric malevolence in his eyes. What was love anymore? Would it have made any difference, morally, if you two had met in normal circumstances, and, more importantly, if he was normal? Would you even have fallen for him if he was a good boy?

• this life was a vortex that became tighter and tighter every year. Next to your memories of school, was this confined bathroom, like you existed on all of the planes at the same time. You laughed at your own naive young self that was looking for excuses for Kevin. uwu, his mum didn't want him. He's too pretty to be that bad. He didn't need excuses, he was always the villain. The good people are never that striking, that vivid and suffocating.

• nevermind, Kevin, it doesn't matter. I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about.