#we’ve got two non-binary players

[jackklinemybeloved]

dare i say never stop blowing up is the most transcoded d20 season we’ve had yet

[insomniamamma]

Safe: Ezra x f!reader w/Cee

A/n: What can I say? I'm hormonal and all my shit hurts and if I cannot get snuggles IRL then I will write something super soft and self-indulgent to make myself feel better. Part of the Prickle AU. Set sometime after Sacellum.

Warnings: Oh no! There's only one bed. Soft!Ezra. Language. Cee's best friend on The Pug is non-binary and also named after my little boy's favorite stuffy. Maybe the slightest bit of angst. But mostly super soft.

         "You did this on purpose."         "Right hand to Kevva, I did not. I asked for double occupancy and they must have misunderstood and--"         "You don't have a right hand,"         "Let's go back to the reception desk," says Ezra, "We may be able to negotiate more appropriate accommodations."         "Errgh," you groan. Reception had been a nightmare, three freighters worth of traffic trying to secure berths all at once. It was a lot of people. Too many for your liking. Cee was staying with Kit and their family. Kit and Cee had practically tackled each other right there on the dock, everyone else forgotten, walked away arm in arm.         "We shove off in three cycles," Ezra hollered at her retreating back, and she flapped a dismissive hand at him. You had to smile. For three cycles Cee gets to be a normal teenager hanging out with her best friend without worrying about points and pulls and overhead costs and fuel margins.         "I don't wanna go back down there," you say, "Too many people. I think twice the population of Falnost was waiting in that fucking line." You brush past him and into the suite. The ceilings are low and slightly curved and it feels strange to be under this much grav. The outer rings of Puggart Bench have something close to terra-normal gravity, but after so much time spent on little moons and worldlets, this much G feels weird and you have no desire to trudge back down to reception.         "You sure?" Asks Ezra.         "Yeah," you drop your day bag and press a hand to the mattress. "Look at the size of this thing. It's, like, five crash-couches wide. This seems above our pay grade."         "They're overbooked," says Ezra, "We're paying the same points for the berth we should have gotten. I made sure of it. I can sleep in that recliner if--"         "No."         "No?"         "Kevva, Ez, we're both adults," you say, "I think we can share a bed for a night without exploding."

        Your suite has a real, honest-to-Goddess shower with a generous 15 minute timer. You scrub as fast as you can and then just let the water hit you, let the pressure pound on your tense back muscles until the chime sounds and the water cuts off. You towel off and dress, soft clothes you sleep in, and pad out into the main room. Ezra is reading, face far off and serious, and you just look at him for a minute, illuminated in the warm lamp-light, absorbed in his book, little furrow between his brows and then he looks up, all knowing smirk and dancing eyes, he's caught you staring.         "Your turn, Ez," You say and turn your face away. Kevva. This man. You've been trying to keep things professional, but it's a losing battle. His flirtations make you flush, but he's never tried to push you, never tried to leverage the fact that it's his name on the ship's title, that you signed a contract, that you are junior-most crew. You feel safe with him. And, from your limited experience in the fringe, that is a miracle in itself.

        Ezra sets his book aside and heads for the bathroom. You peel the sheets from the other side of the bed and settle in. There's a media player bolted to the wall, but you just want quiet. You switch off the lamp on your nightstand (we both have lamps, we both have a nightstand, how weird is that?) The sheets feel deliciously cool against your skin. To be clean and sleeping in clean sheets...if Heaven isn't like this Kevva's got some answering to do.         Ezra sings in the shower. You're barely awake and you smile. Ezra can't carry a tune in a bucket, singing fringeling songs and reels, stories of mercs and pirates and ghosts and you drift off to the sound of him, the sound of the water running.

        He sees you soft and loose and asleep. No rail-gun, no body armor, no thrower under your pillow. Your face slack, snoring slightly. You've kicked out of the blankets and lay curled as if chilled.         "Hey Artichoke," he murmurs, pulls the blankets up and tucks them around you, "Let's get you warm, yeah?"

        Ezra wakes. Bleared red numbers of the clock saying that this is still the deepest ditch of local night. Ezra is warm and confused. He feels you pressed against him, your chest to his back, an arm hooked around his middle, your legs entwined with his. You've sought him out in your sleep and folded yourself around him, your breath slow and steady against his nape. Ezra's eyes prick with tears. He can't remember the last time he's been held like this. He's had lovers. He has payed for sex on the less reputable Benches of the Great Arm, but for someone to hold him? For someone to touch him without payment, without trying to press some advantage, gain some kind of leverage, without priming him for the inevitable backstab?  He is overwhelmed. He tries to wriggle away from you, but your arm just tightens around him.         "...fixed the transponder," you mutter against his neck, "told you we didn't need...told you..." He pats your arm and relaxes against you.         "Okay, Artichoke, okay, sweetheart. Go back to sleep."

        You wake enfolded, Ezra's good arm wrapped around you. You feel the steady beat of his heart beneath your ear, the slow sussurration of his breath, the snores that catch in his throat and turn to murmurs, the rise and fall of his chest beneath your cheek. You've tucked yourself against him in your sleep. Your hand rests on his sternum. Oh Kevva. What are you doing? You go rigid.         Your first impulse is to wrestle out of his hold, take one of the blankets and install yourself in the recliner that you wouldn't let Ezra take, but part of you wants to stay right here in the combined warmth of your bodies, feeling his breath, his heart, his calloused palm spread against your shoulder. You shift, making the smallest effort to pull yourself away and his arm tightens further, a low, sleepy chuckle reverberates through his chest.         "Hi Ez,"         "Hi." He strokes the pad of his thumb along the exposed curve of your shoulder.         "I'll get up," you say, even as he shifts and cups the back of your head in his palm, tucking you closer.         "You don't have to," he says, voice rough with sleep. This gesture pricks at your heart. Coming up on Falnost has made you hard, guarded, there has been precious little gentleness in your life, pulling rocks out of the parched ground since you were big enough to lift a shovel. Learned to fight and shoot to chase water-thieves from the homestead. He strokes the back of your head like one might pet a skittish cat and your heart squeezes.         "Ezra?" You hate how small your voice sounds, you hate the uncertainty you hear there, "Are we okay?"         "Of course we are," he says, "Why wouldn't we be?"         "I wrapped around you like a Bueller's world python and I did it in my sleep-"         "The wrapping was mutual-"         "You're not mad or uncomfortable or anything?" He laughs again, gentle huff of breath against the crown of your head.         "Mad about waking with you in my arms? The day I'm mad about that you can just shoot me in the head and send me to Kevva because I will surely have lost my ever-loving mind." You smile against his skin and relax some, your hand unfists and you curl your arm around his soft belly, feel his breath hitch.         "Tickles."         "Sorry." You feel yourself drift, skirting the edge of sleep. He is warm and solid and you let yourself relax against him.         “This feels...safe..." you say, so close to sleep that you're not sure if you've said it aloud or if you've just thought it. And you're not sure if you hear his response or dream it, one word. Always.

        "She's late," says Ezra.         "We still got a sixteenth to button up and board,"         "Still," says Ezra, "Yon freighter will leave with our pod wether we're strapped in it or not." You see Cee and Kit, trailed by Kit's parents, weaving through the crowd. Cee is beaming, her blonde hair has a brilliant streak of blue, and Kit has a matching streak in their hair.         "Hey guys!" Cee hugs Ezra and then hugs you.         "How was your shore leave, Little Bird? I like the fancy hair."         "Isn't that cool? We've got matching streaks," says Cee.         "It's semi-permanent," says Kit, "We'll pick a different color next time!" You have to smile. Cee looks revitalized. Three cycles spent with her friend, just doing normal kid things has been good for her.         "Check this out!" says Cee and pushes a laminated drawing towards the two of you. Ezra makes a show of looking carefully.         "I recognize you and Kit," he says, "I am not familiar with these other people, though."         "They're from The Streamer Girl, dumbass," says Cee, "Here's Clo and Reive and Lily and Auri. See? Kit put us right in the story." Ezra gives Kit his best smile.         “You drew this? You are very talented." Kit smiles big.         "Thanks!" says Kit, "I'll put you guys in the next one! Maybe you could be professors at Bowsun Academy or something."         "I look forward to it," says Ezra.         "Time to go, Cee," you say and Cee and Kit exchange one more enthusiastic hug.         "Later fringeling!" Calls Kit.         "Piss off, stationer!" Cee calls back. Ezra curls his fingers around yours and squeezes. Cee tells you all about her three cycles with Kit, the movies they watched, the Real Food they ate. How Kit's little brother wanted a blue streak in his hair too and Kit's parents said no and how mad he got. I wanna be cool like Kit and Cee.         "I told him he's got plenty of time to be cool," says Cee, "And he told me that I don't understand how the world works. He's like, four." Ezra laughs.         "Wise for his years." Says Ezra. And the three of you fall quiet. You find the pod much as you left it, towed to the Polly Jean and clipped in, transferred by the station's tugs. You settle in and do a full systems check. Calling out the checklists and making sure everything is good for transit.         "What are you guys so happy about?" asks Cee.         "Whatever do you mean?" asks Ezra.         "You been all smiles since I hit the dock," says Cee, "Both of you. Did we score a really good job? Did we win the Puggart Bench lottery or something? What aren't you telling me?"         "That," says Ezra, "Is for us to know and you to endlessly speculate about."         "Hmph," says Cee.

Tagging: @oonajaeadira, @grogusmum , @honestly-shite, @writeforfandoms, @ladyvengeancesposts, @the-blind-assassin-12

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Drawings on Ice (Part One) | Charlie Gillespie

Requested by anonymous:  I’d love for you to write a Charlie hockey fic. I’ve been hearing that heard a great hockey player so I need that in my life

A/N: this is going to be a two-parter! Hope this is what you imagined! 

Summary: You moved from the US to Canada, starting over at a new college. Your newest (and only) friend begs you to join her at her boyfriend’s hockey practice where you see Charlie for the first time. With his beautiful eyes and perfect smile and perfect facial structure, you become obsessed with drawing him. It’s been a habit of yours to draw anyone you saw with interesting bone structure. Though your friend warns you about the jock bad boy, you can’t help but be intrigued by him... 

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Gender Neutral!Reader

A/N: I hope I made this as gender neutral as possible! Let me know if there’s anything I need to change to make it even more inclusive for non-binary/gender fluid people. 

Words: 3,648

Warnings: Some curse words (bitch, fuckboy)

You’ve never been a fan of any type of sports. Your siblings used to play basketball and you had to go to their games, though you were always busy sketching in your sketchbook to really notice or learn anything about it. Then, you suddenly had to move for your mother’s job. To Canada, of all places. Canada, the land of maple syrup, brutally cold winters… and hockey. The only good thing about moving thus far, was meeting Andrea. Andrea is a preppy, happy-go-lucky kind of girl, and was the first one to talk to you on your first day at your new college. Always dressed in pink or purple, make-up done flawlessly and always so kind, you think she’s being fake. Normally, people like that scared you. Kids like that in your American High School were always the popular ones that bullied the antisocial nerds, which included you at that point. That’s why you’d avoided talking to anyone on your first day. Only Andrea was persistent. You could not for the life of you shake her off. 

So, instead of trying any longer, you embraced it and became friends with her fast. Thanks to her, you found your way through the buildings and all the classes. She even gave you tips on some of the professors you had. 

To be fair, Andrea did help you out a lot, so when she asked you to come along to her new boyfriend’s hockey practice, you had no other choice but go. You’d packed your sketchbook though, just in case you got bored. “So, which one is yours?” you ask Andrea when you sit down in the bleachers with her. “Number eight!” she says, pointing to one of the players skating in circles. He catches his girlfriend pointing at him and gives her a wave, which makes Andrea giggle. The boy with the number 10 plastered on his back, turns upon seeing his buddy wave to the bleachers. You catch his eyes and feel a shiver run down your spine. Even from afar, you can tell those are the most beautiful and enchanting eyes you ever did see. “Who’s number 10?” you ask Andrea without taking your eyes off the boy. Without even noticing, you start to trace his features on your leg with your finger, a habit you developed over the years. His chiseled cheekbones, his fine nose, the wrinkles by his mouth as he smiles up at her. “Charlie. Sam’s best friend,” Andrea explains while you try your hardest not to stare at the cute hockey player while you’re tracing him. “Wouldn’t get too close though, I heard he has a reputation of being a heartbreaker.” Of course. All cute boys have to be absolute disappointments.  Despite Andrea’s warning, you couldn’t help but think about Charlie every minute of the day. It was the smile and the eyes that haunted you through every lecture and every study-session with Andrea in the library. You traced his features on your empty papers on automatic pilot, not even realizing you were doing it until you were actually drawing him with a ballpoint pen. “Honey, no!” Andrea says sternly. The two of you are at the library, studying for midterms when the drawing on your notes starts to take shape. The shape of a certain hockey player. “I can’t help it, Andi! He’s in my mind and I just -- my brain just tells me to draw things and he’s been the only thing on my mind lately, I… I don’t know why or what it is, but I’m kind of drawn to him?” The girl in front of you shakes her head disappointedly. “Look at him!” she whisper-shouts, nodding her head to somewhere behind you. You slowly turn your head to find Charlie with one leg up on a chair, leaning his elbow on it as he’s flirting with a girl. “That’s number five this week… And it’s Tuesday.” You can’t help but stare at him though. His profile is impeccable. Before you know it, you’re back to tracing his features on your leg. “Y/N!” Andrea shouts in a hushed tone, capturing your attention again, ruining your entire mental picture of Charlie. “You ought to stop that, sweetie. I don’t want you getting hurt.” “Oh, I don’t get hurt, Andi,” you reply with a smirk, turning to face her again, “Being the antisocial kid in high school has its perks.” Andrea’s eyes widen at something behind you. “Time to prove it then,” she mutters. You quickly hide your drawing underneath your textbook and pretend to continue studying as Charlie approaches your table. “Hello, ladies,” he greets with a charming smile. Though on the inside you’re just about melting, your tough exterior doesn’t give it away. “I don’t think we’ve met.” He reaches a hand out to you. “I’m Charlie.” You glance up from your textbook, let your eyes dart from his hand to his face and turn back to your textbook. “Okay…” he mutters, feeling a little defeated by his first rejection. “We’re studying, Charlie. Can we help you with anything?” He glances over at you for a split second as he thinks about it. 

“Uhm, yeah. Are you guys coming to the game this weekend?” His flirty demeanor changes all of a sudden to someone less confident. You look up at him, wanting to break your antisocial facade because it never brought you anywhere in High School and won’t bring you anywhere now. “I might. If I don’t have anything better to do, that is.” You decide to run with the sassy-bitch inside you. Charlie actually looks disappointed with this answer. “Okay…” he turns back to Andrea, “You’ll come, right?��� She nods her head. “Can you convince her?” You chuckle at his desperate attempt, which earns you a glare from him. “She can make up her own mind, Charlie,” Andrea replies, raising her hands in defense. Gruntled and disappointed, Charlie turns around and leaves the two of you alone. “Girl!” Andrea squeals once he’s out of earshot, and holds up her hand for a high five, which you giddily give. “Told you I could do it,” you shrug with an amused smile on your face. “That was very impressive. Did you see his face when you didn’t even introduce yourself? He was so disappointed his charms didn’t work on you!” she giggles loudly. The librarian shushes her, and she holds up her hands in defense before lapsing into quieter giggles with you. You can’t help but feel bad though. Charlie actually seemed incredibly upset by your lack of interest. It makes you wonder if he actually says who people say he is. On Saturday, you go to the hockey game anyway. There’s nothing else you can do, and besides, it gives you a chance to draw a little more of Charlie in action on the ice. The surprised smile on Charlie’s face is to die for. It makes you feel like you’re the only girl he sees, like he’s not the guy people say he is. You say hello to Andrea and some of her friends you’ve met before, and sit down on the bench, immediately getting your sketchpad and pencil out. You start on Charlie, but halfway through, Andrea asks you to draw Sam too. Deciding it would probably be less suspicious if you drew the entire team, you start on Sam. By halftime, you have about every team member on your page sketched out. None of them quite as detailed as Charlie, but you’ll get to that at some point. “We’re going to say hello to the boys, you coming?” Andrea asks you when you’re shading your drawings. You glance up at Andrea, then glance down at the rink where you find Charlie already looking at you. He cocks his head, beckoning you to come over. For a second then, you’re forgetting all about your antisocial facade and feel yourself heat up. You cough the feeling away and get up after stuffing your sketchpad back into your bag, following Andrea down the steps. “You came,” he states when you reach him on the side of the rink. “Are you always this attentive?” you ask with a hint of sarcasm flavoring your voice. His chuckle fills your ears like a beautiful melody. Why does he do this to you? There honestly are so many boys that could be so much better for you, but instead, you’re crushing on the campus bad boy. “Are you always this hostile?” You’re dumbfounded at his comeback. No one ever called you hostile. Antisocial, sure. A bitch, multiple times. But never hostile. “You weren’t paying a lot of attention to the game though?” he says, changing the subject upon noticing your reaction. “Well, neither have you if you noticed me not paying attention,” you shoot back, an amused smile tugging at your lips. “Touché,” he chuckles. “But seriously, what were you doing?” You open your mouth to say something, but are stuck on what to tell him. Do you lie to him? Or say the truth? “I--I’m an arts student, and I draw pretty much everything I see, so…” His eyes widen at your response, as does his smile. You’re not entirely sure if telling the truth was a good idea. He might just run off, like everyone in High School used to do when you told them you drew them, no matter how good it was. Everyone always thought it was creepy, so you tended to keep all your art to yourself. “Can I see?” he asks just as the ref blows his whistle, signalling the start of the next half. He gives me an apologetic look, thinking of a good compensation. “Stay after the game?” You know you shouldn’t. You know Andrea is probably right and he’s the biggest womanizer walking this earth, but looking into his gorgeous hazel eyes and witnessing his lips curl up into the most beautiful smile, you can’t help but nod your head. His teeth bite down his lip as he skates away, keeping his eyes on you. 

“What was that about?” Andrea asks you when you take your seats again. You let out a deep, confused, yet content sigh. “I have no clue…” For a while, you watch the game -- mostly Charlie -- and witness him making a goal. You, along with all the other supporters of the team, get up from your seats, cheering loudly. Charlie looks up at you, a wide smile plastered on his face as he points to you. Your heart skips a beat, not expecting him to do something like that at all. “Someone has a crush on you…” Andrea whispers in your ear, a teasing smile on her face. “No, he doesn’t! That wasn’t for me…” you try to reassure yourself, but fail miserably. That was for you, and you know it all too well. Another thing you know, is that this probably shouldn’t be quite as heart-melting as it is. “If that’s what you have to tell yourself…” Andrea mutters before turning back to the game. This is not what you thought would happen in your first month of moving to Canada and starting anew at another college. Not at all. 

The game is coming to an end now, and you’re still watching. Yes, you read that correctly. You’re still watching the game. A sports game. You! You never thought you would even last ten minutes watching, but somehow, Charlie made it all the more interesting. After every goal he’s scored, he pointed up at you, making you blush like crazy. You have absolutely no idea what’s happening or why he’s doing what he’s doing. All you know is that you like it. You like the way he makes you feel like a normal person for once in your life. Like you’re important. Like you matter. For once, it doesn’t feel like you’re the weirdo art kid that sits on the sidelines, drawing everything and everyone they see. “We’re going to go for some drinks with the team, want to come?” Andrea asks when the game is over and the players all head to the dressing rooms and the crowd files out of the bleachers. “Oh, uhm… I think I might stay a little while longer, you know? Work on my sketches,” you try your hardest not to smile like an absolute crazy person. Andrea raises her eyebrows at you, giving  you a knowing look. She can just about see right through you. “Just be careful, okay?” she takes you in for a quick hug goodbye and then leaves with her friends. You sit down again and take your sketchpad out of your bag to kill some time while waiting for Charlie. He probably has to shower and change out of his gear and talk to his buddies before coming out to find you. For a while, you just sit and stare at the drawing of all these boys. They’re scattered all over the paper, but only one really captures you, and that’s Charlie. He’s the boy in the center of the page. Somehow, you really managed to bring out his very best features. His sparkling eyes, his chiseled jawline, his sharp cheekbones. On that page in front of you is Charlie. Though the others somewhat look about right, Charlie really takes the crown in this picture. It’s almost like you’ve studied him so well, that you drew him this perfectly. Which is only half true. All it took was one look and you had him down. All of his features, all of his details. You had it all down from one single look at him. You’ve started adding some more shadows to his face, the world around you vanishing as those eyes stare right back at you. You’re so enthralled, you don’t even notice the real life Charlie walking up to you until his voice reaches your ears. “Hey, sorry if I made you wait long.” Your head snaps up and your eyes widen, almost looking like a deer caught in headlights. He places his bag on the bench in front of you before sitting down next to you. A scent of minty freshness and invigorating citrus meets your nostrils. “Oh, no. Don’t worry about it,” you tell him with a smile, carefully closing your sketchpad and sticking your pencil between the rings at the top. “That was a very good game,” you compliment him, nodding towards the rink to emphasize. “I think… Not really a sports person.” He chuckles at this, glancing down at the floor bashfully. “I guess I found my lucky charm.” The second he looks up at you again and those words tumble out of his mouth, you can feel your stomach do flips. To cover the way it actually makes you feel, you roll your eyes, smiling amusedly. “How many people have you said that too, hm?” you ask with raised eyebrows. His smile falters at this, making you realize that it might not be something he likes to hear. The same way you don’t like hearing you’re a creep or a stalker for drawing pictures of people. “I don’t know what people have said about me to you, but I really am not what they peg me for.” His voice is soft, and for the first time since meeting him, he sounds fragile. “You sleep with two different people in one week, and they have you pinned down as the campus’ man-whore.” You give him a sympathetic smile, even though he’s not even looking at you. “I’m not actually this guy that sleeps around, you know? Sure, I flirt with a lot of people, but if your reputation precedes you, well…” he trails off at the end, and then finally looks up at you. “I know how you feel…” you start carefully, which captures his undivided attention. “There was this girl in high school and she had the most beautiful features, you know? Sharp jawline, the deepest dimples in her cheeks when she smiled… I couldn’t help but keep drawing her. She just took so well on paper, and when I showed her, she called me a stalker and a creep. From then on out, I became the stalker creep from Valley High.” You roll your eyes at the memory of Kiara and everyone else at that school. “So, I have a reputation that precedes me too…” “It’s nice to know I’m not alone,” Charlie says with a light-hearted chuckle. “Could I… Could I look at your work?” he carefully asks, pointing at the pad in your lap. You wrapped your fingers around the leatherbound sketchbook, debating it. “Promise you won’t run when you see what’s in here?” You offer it to him, and he grabs it, but you’re holding it so tightly, he can’t take it. He raises an eyebrow at you. “What? It’s not like you drew me or anything, did you?” he jokes, to which you just press your lips together in a thin line. His expression softens in realization. “Oh…” You stare at him for a moment, both of you holding onto the pad. “I promise I won’t run, okay?” You slowly let go of the pad. He places it on his lap and starts flipping through pages. The first few drawings are random kids from campus, either studying in the library or reading a book underneath the big maple tree. Then follow Andrea’s drawings. She suggested being your model, she said you could ask her any time you wanted. After that, Charlie’s sketches follow. The first few are of him during practice with his helmet on. On the next page, are the ones you drew in the library. Some profile, some portrait. He then flicks to the one of all the players, and shuts it after finding empty pages after that. It’s silent for a moment, like he’s taking it all in. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shown you that,” you quickly say and reach for your book, but Charlie has a steady grip on it. He finally looks up at you, a shocked expression on his face. “No. No, it’s just… I wish I knew the name of the artist that captured me so realistically on paper.” You swallow a lump in your throat as his hazel eyes bore deep down into your soul. “Uhm… Y/N,” you introduce yourself shyly. “I just have a habit of drawing people with really nice facial structure, I guess…” you add with a nervous chuckle, staring down at your fingers as they play around with the bracelets around your wrists. “Huh…” You look up at that, wondering if it’s a weirded-out ‘huh’ or something else. “What?” It comes out in an unwanted whisper. “No one’s ever given me a compliment about my facial structure,” he smiles down at you. It’s the most overwhelming feeling of warmth radiating through your body from that one smile. “It’s true though! If you check that last page of the whole team, the others don’t really have that sharp a jaw or chiseled cheekbones like you,” you state, pointing at the sketchpad. He opens it on that page and watches it for a couple seconds. “This makes me feel like the prettiest boy on the team.” He closes it again and hands it over to you, looking straight into your eyes again. You swear you’re going to faint one time if he keeps on doing that. “You are the prettiest boy on the team, Charlie,” you joke, grinning teasingly whilst clutching the sketchpad against your chest. Charlie chuckles at this, and you swear you can detect a slight blush on his cheeks as he looks down at his feet again. “You want to get out of here?” he then asks, “We could go to the coffee shop across the street to warm up? Get that little nose of yours back to its normal color.” He softly boops your nose, which is no doubtedly red from the cold from the ice rink. You giggle nervously, and then nod your head in agreement. The two of you get up from your seats and grab your bags. Before you even realize it, Charlie has grabbed your freezing hand in his warmer one, and guides you down the bleachers all the way to the café across the street. The warmth engulfs you like a welcome hug as the two of you take a seat in a booth by the window. “What’s your go-to coffee order?” he asks, perusing the menu even though he knows what he wants. You scan the booklet, looking for the one thing you always get.   “A cappuccino with whipped cream,” you reply, pointing at the order on the menu. “Ooh, good choice!” he agrees excitedly, “Would choosing a hot chocolate make me less cool?” You chuckle, “Well, it’s a hot chocolate, it’s bound to make you less cool.” He laughs at your joke, throwing his head back. You can’t help but laugh along, mostly at how adorable he is in a fit of laughter. “Good one, Y/N,” he says. You give your orders to the waitress, and lapse into a conversation about everything and anything. He asks you about your college major, and you ask him all about hockey. The way his eyes light up when he’s talking about the sport he loves, or anything he loves, is endearing. You can’t believe Andrea made you stay away from him for so long. Charlie really isn’t the bad boy jock she had him pegged for. If anything, he’s the opposite. He’s kind and considerate, and incredibly ambitious and passionate about everything he loves. You just want to know everything about him and spend as much time with him as possible. Without even realizing it, you’re tracing his features again on your leg, preparing for yet another drawing of him. Preparing for more adventures with him.

Taglist: @parkeret​​ @lukeys-giggle​ @gingerxarmy​ @lovesanimals​ @lolychu​ @hannahhistorian92​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @thequirkybookaholic​ @bookdealer5​ @tenaciousperfectionunknown​ @hemmingsness​ @siennanoelle01​

Let me know if you wanna be on my taglist! :)

[justmenoworries]

Not Up For Interpretation - An Essay On Nonbinary - Erasure

(Trigger Warning: Misgendering, Transphobia, Nonbinary-phobia)

If you’ve been following me for a while, you probably know this was a long time coming. I’ve made several posts about my frustrations concerning this topic and how much it hurt me just how socially accepted erasing an entire identity still is. While representation marches on and things have become better for nonbinary people as a whole, we still battle with a lot of prejudice - both intentional and unintentional.

In this essay, I want to discuss just how our identities are being erased almost daily, why that is harmful and hurtful and what we all can do to change that.

Chapters:

What does Non-binary mean?

Nonbinary- representation in media

So what’s the problem?

How do we fix it?

1. What Does Non-binary Mean?

Non-binary is actually an umbrella term. It includes pretty much every gender-identity that’s neither one or the other so to speak, for example, agender.

Agender means feeling detachment from the gender spectrum in general. If you’re agender, you most likely feel a distance to the concept of gender as a whole, that it doesn’t define you as a person.

There are many identities that classify under non-binary: There’s gender-fluid (you feel you have a gender, but it’s not one gender specifically and can change), demi-gender (identifying as a gender partially, but not completely) and many others.

Sometimes, multiple non-binary identities can mix and match.

Most non-binary people use they/them pronouns, but like with so many things, it varies.

Some nonbinary-people (like me) go by two pairs of pronouns. I go by both she/her and they/them, because it’s what feels most comfortable at the moment. But who knows, maybe in the future I’ll switch to they/them exclusively or expand to he/him.

There is no one defining non-binary experience. Nb-people are just as varied and different as binary people, who go by one specific gender.

There are non-binary people who choose to go solely by she/her or he/him and that’s okay too. It doesn’t make them any more or less non-binary and their identity is still valid.

If your head’s buzzing a bit by now: That’s okay. It’s a complicated topic and no one expects you to understand all of it in one chapter of one essay.

Just know this: If a person identifies as non-binary, you should respect their decision and use the pronouns they go with.

It’s extremely hurtful to refer to someone who already told you that they use they/them pronouns with she/her or he/him, or use they/them to refer to a person who uses she/her.

Think about it like using a trans-person’s deadname: It’s rude, it’s harmful and it shows complete disrespect for the person.

Non-binary people have existed for a very long time. The concept isn’t new. The idea that there are only two genders, with every other identity being an aberration to the norm, is largely a western idea, spread through colonialism.

The Native American people use “Two-Spirit” to describe someone who identifies neither as a man nor a woman. The term itself is relatively new, but the concept of a third gender is deeply rooted in many Native American cultures.

(Author’s Note: If you are not Native American, please do not use it. That’s cultural appropriation.)

In India, the existence of a third gender has always been acknowledged and there are many terms specifically for people who don’t identify with the gender that was assigned to them at birth.

If you’re interested in learning more about non-binary history and non-binary identities around the world, I’d recommend visiting these websites:

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/History_of_nonbinary_gender

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Gender-variant_identities_worldwide

https://thetempest.co/2020/02/01/history/the-history-of-nonbinary-genders-is-longer-than-you-think/

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/gender-variance-around-the-world

Also, maybe consider giving this book a try:

Nonbinary Gender Identities: History, Culture, Resources by Charlie Mcnabb

2. Non-binary Representation In Media

The representation of non-binary people in mainstream media hasn’t been... great, to put it mildly.

Representation, as we all know, is important.

Not only does it give minorities a chance to see themselves in media and feel heard and acknowledged. It also normalizes them.

For example, seeing a black Disney-princess was a huge deal for many black little girls, because they could finally say there was someone there who looked like them. They could see that being white wasn’t a necessity to be a Disney princess.

Seeing a canonically LGBT+ character in a children’s show teaches kids that love is love, no matter what gender you’re attracted to. At the same time, older LGBT+ viewers will see themselves validated and heard in a movie that features on-screen LGBT+ heroes.

There’s been some huge steps in the right direction in the last few years representation-wise.

Not only do we have more LGBT+ protagonists and characters in general, we’ve also begun to question and call out harmful or bigoted portrayals of the community in media, such as “Bury Your Gays” or the “Depraved Homosexual”.

With that being said: Let’s take a look at how Non-binary representation holds up in comparison, shall we?

This is Double Trouble, from the children’s show “She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power”.

They identify as non-binary and use they/them pronouns. They’re also  a slimy, duplicitous lizard-person who can change their shape at will.

Um, yeah.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Did I mention they’re also the only non-binary character in the entire show? And that they’re working with a genocidal dictator in most of the episodes they’re in?

Yikes.

Let’s look at another example.

These three (in order of appearance) are Stevonnie, Smoky Quartz and Shep. Three characters appearing in the kid’s show “Steven Universe” and it’s epilogue series “Steven Universe: Future”.

All of them identify as non-binary and use they/them as pronouns.

Stevonnie and Smoky Quartz are the result of a boy and a girl being fused together through weird alien magic.

Shep is a regular human, but they only appeared in one episode. In an epilogue series that only hardcore fans actually watched.

Well, I mean...

One out of three isn’t that bad, right?

Maybe we should pick an example from a series for older viewers.

Say hello to Doppelganger, a non-binary superhuman who goes by they/them, from the Amazon-series “The Boys”.

They’re working for a corrupt superhero-agency and use their power of shape-shifting to trick people who pose a threat to said agency into having sex with them. And then blackmail those people with footage of said sex.

....

Do I even need to say it?

If you’ve paid attention during the listing of these examples, you might have noticed a theme.

Namely that characters canonically identifying as non-binary are either

supernatural in some way, shape or form,

barely have a presence in the piece of media they’re in,

both.

Blink-and-you-miss-it-manner of representation aside, the majority of these characters fall squarely under what we call “Othering”.

“Othering” describes the practice of portraying minorities as supernatural creatures or otherwise inhuman. Or to say it bluntly: As “The Other”.

“Othering” is a pretty heinous method. Not only does it portray minorities as inherently abnormal and “different in a bad way”. It also goes directly against what representation is actually for: Normalizing.

As a general rule of thumb: If your piece of media has humans in it, but the only representation of non-white, non-straight people are explicitly inhuman... yeah, that’s bad.

So is there absolutely no positive representation for us out there?

Not quite.

As rare as human non-binary characters in media are to find, they do exist.

Here we have Bloodhound! A non-binary human hunter who uses they/them pronouns, from the game “Apex Legends”.

It’s been confirmed by the devs and the voice actress that they’re non-binary.

Nice!

These are Frisk (bottom) and Chara (top) from the game “Undertale”. While their exact gender identity hasn’t been disclosed, they both canonically use they/them pronouns, so it’s somewhere on the non-binary spectrum.

Two human children who act as the protagonist (Frisk) and antagonist (Chara), depending on how you play the game. (Interpretations vary on the antagonist/protagonist-thing, to say the least.)

Cool!

......

And, yep, that’s it.

As my little demonstration here showed, non-binary representation in media is rare. Good non-binary representation is even rarer.

Which is why those small examples of genuinely good representation are so important to the Non-binary community!

It’s hard enough to have to prove you exist. It’s even harder to prove your existence is not abnormal or unnatural.

If you’d like to further educate yourself on representation, it’s impact on society and why it matters, perhaps take a second to read through these articles:

https://www.criticalhit.net/opinion/representation-media-matters/

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/arts/why-on-screen-representation-matters-according-to-these-teens

https://jperkel.github.io/sciwridiversity2020/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2019/05/22/why-is-equal-representation-in-media-important/?sh=25f2ccc92a84

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/why-representation-the-media-matters

3. So What’s The Problem?

The problem, as is the case with so many things in the world, is prejudice.

Actually, that’s not true.

There’s not a problem, there are multiple problems. And their names are prejudice, ignorance and bigotry.

Remember how I said human non-binary representation is rare?

Yeah, very often media-fans don’t help.

Let’s take for example, the aforementioned Frisk and Chara from “Undertale”.

Despite the game explicitly using they/them to refer to both characters multiple times, the majority of players somehow got it into their heads that Frisk’s and Chara’s gender was “up for interpretation”.

There is a huge amount of fan art straight-up misgendering both characters and portraying them as binary and using only he/him or she/her pronouns.

The most egregious examples are two massively popular fan-animated web shows: “Glitchtale”, by Camila Cuevas and “Underverse” by Jael Peñaloza.

Both series are very beloved by the Undertale-fanbase and even outside of it. Meaning for many people, those two shows might be their first introduction to “Undertale” and it’s two non-binary human characters.

Take a wild guess what both Camila and Jael did with Frisk and Chara.

Underverse, X-Tale IV:

(Transcript: “Frisk lied to me in the worst possible way... I... I will never forgive him.”)

Underverse, X-Tale V:

(Transcript: “I-It’s Chara... and it’s a BOY.”)

Glitchtale, My Promise:

(Transcript: (Referring to Frisk) “I’m not scared of an angry boy anymore.”)

Glitchtale, Game Over Part 1:

(Transcript: (Referring to Chara) “It’s ok little boy.”)

This... this isn’t okay.

Not only do both of these pieces of fan-art misgender two non-binary characters, the creators knew beforehand that Frisk and Chara use they/them-pronouns, but made the conscious choice to ignore that.

To be fair, in a video discussing “Underverse”, Jael said that only X-Tale Frisk and Chara, the characters you see in the Underverse-examples above, are male, while the characters Frisk and Chara from the main game remained non-binary and used they/them (time-stamp 10:34).

Still, that doesn’t erase the fact that Jael made up alternate versions of two non-binary characters specifically to turn them male. Or that, while addressing the issue, Jael was incredibly dismissive and even mocked the people who felt hurt by her turning two non-binary characters male. Jael also went on to make a fairly non-binary-phobic joke in the video, in which she equated gender identities beyond male and female to identifying as an object.

Jael (translated): “I don’t care if people say the original Frisk and Chara are male, female, helicopters, chairs, dogs or cats, buildings, clouds...”

That’s actually a very common joke among transphobes, if not to say the transphobe-joke:

“Oh, you identify as X? Well then I identify as an attack helicopter!”

If you’re trans, chances are you’ve heard this one, or a variation of it, a million times before.

I certainly have.

I didn’t laugh then and I’m not laughing now.

(Author’s note: I might be angry at both of them for what they did, but I do not, under any circumstances, support the harassment of creators. If you’re thinking about sending either Jael or Camila hate-mail - don’t. It won’t help.)

Jael’s reaction is sadly common in the Undertale fandom. Anyone speaking up against Chara’s and Frisk’s identity being erased is immediately bludgeoned with the “up for interpretation”-argument, despite that not once being the case in the game.

And even with people who do it right and portray Frisk and Chara as they/them, you’ll have dozens of commenters swarming the work with sentences among the lines of “Oh but I think Frisk is a boy/girl! And Chara is a girl/boy!”

By the way, this kind of thing only happens to Frisk and Chara.

Every other character in “Undertale” is referred to and portrayed with their proper pronouns of she/her or he/him.

But not the characters who go by they/them.

Their gender is “up for interpretation”.

Because obviously, their identity couldn’t possibly be canonically non-binary.

Sadly, Frisk and Chara are not alone in this.

Remember Bloodhound?

And how I said they’d been confirmed as non-binary and using they/them pronouns by both the creators and the voice actress?

It seems for many players, that too translated to “up for interpretation”.

(Transcript: “does it matter what they call him? He, her, it, they toaster oven, it doesn’t matter”)

(Transcript: “I’m like 90 % sure Bloodhound is a dude because he could just sound like a girl and by their age that I’m assuming looks around 10-12 because I’ve known many males who have sounded like a female when they were younger”)

(Transcript: “I don’t care it will always be a He. F*ck that non-binary bullsh*t.”)

(Transcript: “Bloodhound is clearly female.”)

(Transcript: “I’m not calling a video game character they/them”)

(Transcript: “exactly. The face was never fully shown neither was the gender so I’d say it means that the player is Bloodhound. So it’s your gender and you refer to “him” as yourself. It’s like a self insertion in my eyes.”)

So, let me get this straight:

If a character, even a player character, uses she/her or he/him, you can accept it, no questions asked.

But when a character uses they/them, suddenly their identity and gender are “up for interpretation”?

This attitude is also widely prevalent in real life.

Many languages only include pronouns for men and women, with no third option available. Non-binary people are often forced to make up their own terms, because their language doesn’t provide one.

Non-binary people often don’t fit within other people’s ideas of gender, so they get excluded altogether. Worse, non-binary people are often the victims of misgendering, denial of their identity or even straight-up violence when coming out.

People will often tell us that we look like a certain gender, so we should only use one set of gendered pronouns. Never mind that that’s not what we want. Never mind that that’s not who we are.

Non-binary people are also largely omitted from legal documentation and studies. We cannot identify as non-binary at our workplace, because using they/them pronouns is considered “unprofessional”. We don’t have our own bathrooms like men and women do. Our gender is seen as less valid than male and female, so even that basic thing is denied to us. I’ve had to use the women’s restroom my entire life, because if I go into a male restroom, I’ll be yelled at or made fun off or simply get told I took the wrong door. It’s extremely uncomfortable for me and I wish I didn’t have to do it.

And since non-binary people aren’t seen as “real transgender-people”, we often don’t receive the medical care we need. This often renders us unable to feel good within our bodies, because the treatment and help we get is wildly inadequate.

It’s especially horrible for intersex people (people who are born with sex characteristics that don’t fit solely into the male/female category) who are often forced to change their bodies to fit within the male/female gender binary.

And you better believe each of those problems is increased ten-fold for non-binary people of color.

We are ignored and dismissed as “confused”, because of who we are.

Representation is a way for Non-binary people to show the world they exist, that they’re here and that they too have stories to tell.

But how can we, when every character that represents us is either othered, barely there or gets taken away from us?

We are not “up for interpretation”.

Neither are the characters in media who share our identity.

And it’s time to stop pretending we ever were.

For more information about Non-Binary Erasure and how harmful it is, you can check out these articles:

https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/common-non-binary-erasure/

https://www.dailydot.com/irl/nonbinary-people-racism/

https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Nonbinary_erasure

https://traj.openlibhums.org/articles/10.16995/traj.422/

https://medium.com/an-injustice/everyday-acts-of-non-binary-erasure-49ee970654fb

https://medium.com/national-center-for-institutional-diversity/the-invisible-labor-of-liberating-non-binary-identities-in-higher-education-3f75315870ec

https://musingsofanacademicasexual.wordpress.com/2015/05/11/dear-sirmadam-a-commentary-on-non-binary-erasure/

4. How Do We Fix It?

Well, first things first: Stop acting like we don’t exist.

And kindly stop other people from doing it too.

We are a part of the LGBT+ community and we deserve to be acknowledged, no matter what our pronouns are.

Address non-binary people with the right pronouns. Don’t argue with them about their identity, don’t comment on how much you think they look like a boy or a girl. Just accept them and be respectful.

If a non-binary person tells you they have two sets of pronouns, for example he/him and they/them, don’t just use one set of pronouns. That can come off as disingenuous. Alternate between the pronouns, don’t leave one or the other out. It’ll probably be hard at first, but if you keep it up, you’ll get used to it pretty quickly.

If you’re witnessing someone harass a non-binary person over their identity, step in and help them.

And please, don’t partake in non-binary erasure in media fandoms.

Don’t misgender non-binary characters, don’t “speculate” on what you think their gender might be. You already know their gender and it’s non-binary. It costs exactly 0 $ to be a decent human being and accept that.

Support Non-Binary people by educating yourself about them and helping to normalize and integrate their identity.

In fact, here’s a list of petitions, organizations and articles who will help you do just that:

https://www.change.org/p/collegeboard-let-students-use-their-preferred-name-on-collegeboard-9abad81a-0fdf-435c-8fca-fe24a5df6cc7?source_location=topic_page

6 Ways to Support Your Non-Binary Child

7 Non-Negotiables for Supporting Trans & Non-Binary Students in Your Classroom

If Your Partner Just Came Out As Non-Binary, Here’s How To Support Them

How to Support Your Non-Binary Employees, Colleagues and Friends

Ko-fi page for the Nonbinary Wiki

The Sylvia Rivera Project, an organization who aims to give low-income and non-white transgender, intersex and non-binary people a voice

The Anti Violence Project “empowers lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and HIV-affected communities and allies to end all forms of violence through organizing and education, and supports survivors through counseling and advocacy."

The Trans Lifeline, a hotline for transgender people by transgender people

Tl:DR: Non-Binary representation is important. Non-Binary people still suffer from society at large not acknowledging our existence and forcing us to conform. Don’t be part of that problem by taking away what little representation we have. Educate yourself and do better instead. We deserve to be seen and heard.

[snowbreeze64]

i call this one: proof i’m going insane

anyways here’s a list of all times webs/and or spiders have been mentioned in 167 episodes of the magnus archives bc i haven’t listened to 168 yet.

spoilers through tma episode 167 because, yeah

UP TO DATE THROUGH EPISODE 167

CONFIRMED WEBISODES (Rusty Quill Youtube Playlist)

#8 Burned Out *

#16 Arachnophobia

#56 Children of the Night

#59 Recluse *

#67 Burning Desire *

#69 (nice) Thought for the Day

#81 A Guest For Mr. Spider

#100 I Guess You Had To Be There

#110 Creature Feature

#114 Cracked Foundation *

#123 Web Development

#136 The Puppeteer

#147 The Weaver

#167 Curiosity

* = Hill Top Road Related

And now, to channel my S2 Jon energy, which is also just BDG

ALL MENTIONS OF SPIDERS AND/OR WEBS IN NON-WEBISODES

#3 Across the Street - the Table is introduced

#9 A Father’s Love - “As far as I was concerned, the sturdy wooden structure was just the home of spiders’ nests and the rusted garden tools my parents would use once a year to attack the overgrown wilderness that was our back garden.” (Julia Montauk about their shed)

#11 Dreamer - “Looking down I could see a web of dark tendrils criss-crossing the streets and crawling up the buildings.” (Oliver Banks about the death tendril things)

#12 First Aid - Hill Top Road relation (Diego Molina)

#19 Confession/#20 Desecrated Host - Hill Top Road related

#22 Colony - Martin investigates Carlos Vittery’s house, finds lots of spiderwebs.

#32 Hive - “Was it the spiders? There were webs in the corners, around the entryway into the attic. I would watch them scurry and disappear in between the wooden boards. ‘Where are you going, little spiders?’ I would think. ‘What are you seeing in the dark? Is it food? Prey? Predators?’ I wondered if it was the spiders that made the gentle buzzing song. It was not. Webs have a song as well, of course, but it is not the song of the hive.” (Jane Prentiss)

#35 Old Passages - “I have the vaguest memories: flashes of a pile of paper, completely covered in cobweb…” (Harold Silvana about the tunnels)

#36 Taken Ill - “Just a sort of spider web design on the front.” (Jon about his lighter)

#37 Burnt Offering - Hill Top Road related

#38 Lost and Found - Jon attacks a spider and somehow makes a hole in the wall, and now there are worms

#39 Infestation - “No, no… it’s just that whatever web these statements have caught you in, well, I’m there too. We all are, I think.” (Martin)

#40 Human Remains - “Yes. She was sat in a wooden chair in the middle of the room. No worms. No cobwebs. Just… an old corpse.” (Martin about Gertrude’s corpse) (Does the sudden absence of spiders count as spiders?)

#43 Section 31 - “The most I could get out of her was that she was originally sectioned for something she referred to as “spider husks”.” (Basira about Daisy getting sectioned)

#44 Tightrope - “Why did she begin recording them? And why stop? If she’d been doing so right up until her death, she would’ve likely gotten through much of the archive, and… moreover I wouldn’t have had to find this tape player tucked away in the storage room, covered in dust and cobwebs.” (Jon about the tape player) (it’s covered in cobwebs! Suspicious! What do you mean old things get covered in cobwebs naturally?)

#46 Literary Heights - “I did go down there to see if I could find anything, but it seems much as it did last time. The only difference now is… all the spiderwebs. They seem to have spread down there. I think I saw some of the larger specimens actually eating the remains of the worms.” (Jon about the tunnels under the archives)

#51 High Pressure - “No… No, it isn’t. I’ve always seen it more like a web?” (Not!Sasha about the Table)

#63 The End of the Tunnel - “We’ve had something of a spectrum from him and his ilk: cobwebs entombing, difficulty in navigation, and now a violent, murderous dark.” (Jon about Robert Smirke)

#65 Binary - “Statement of Tessa Winters, regarding a strange computer program she downloaded from the Deep Web three months ago.” (What? It’s a web!)

#67 Burning Desire - “I looked up and noticed within the corner of the room, where there had been a spider’s web this morning, there was just a faint wisp of smoke.” and “Another held a bag that seemed to be full of candles, while a third had a clear plastic container filled with hundreds of tiny spiders.” (Jack Barnabas about his date with Agnes and the people in front of her flat) (this was already listed in webisodes but i just thought it was interesting)

#68 The Tale of a Field Hospital - “There were a couple of spiders, so I changed routes and found, I think it’s a gas main.” (Jon about exploring the tunnels) (also that gas main *eyes eyes eyes*)

#78 Distant Cousin - “Wrapped around it were thick strands of what I think was spider’s web, stretching back into the table, which I now saw pulsed along its carved channels with a sickly light.” (Laurence Moore about Adelard Dekker trapping the Not!Them in the table) and “Hollow. Just cobwebs and dust.” (Jon, breaking the table)

#79 Hide and Seek - “Of course the table was binding it. The table is webs and spiders. Spiders are something else. They don’t help each other, they oppose, they… they weaken. It was caught in a web, and I…” (Jon about the table...and perhaps Beholding something about the entities?)

#87 The Uncanny Valley - Jude Perry working with the Stranger, so Hill Top Road related?

#89 Twice as Bright - Statement of Jude Perry, Hill Top Road related

#90 Body Builder - “As you’d expect, most of the listings just pointed me towards the their websites, but I spotted a small, square ad box in the lower left corner.” (Ross Davenport, about finding his new gym) (yes i KNOW this is a stretch but the word website has the word web in it so…)

#91 The Coming Storm - “One lighter, gold, spiderweb design.” (Daisy going through Jon’s stuff)

#111 Family Business - Jon and Gerry discuss the entities, including the Web

#112 Thrill of the Chase - “We all met through one of those meetup websites, I-I forget which one.” (Lisa Carmel, about Murder Club) (listen it’s a WEBSITE so it has the word WEB in it and besides THE SPIDERS CONTROL THE WORLD WIDE WEB)

#114 Cracked Foundation - “It was warmer down there, warmer every step, and I found myself brushing cobwebs from my face as I got further down, until at last there I was - stood in the cellar of Hill Top Road.” (Anya Villette about Hill Top Road)

#117 Testament - “I know, I know it’s not exactly intricate, but it felt good leaving my own little web. Oh, oh, Christ, I hope John doesn’t actually listen to these. “Good lord, is Martin becoming some sort of spider person?” No, John, it’s an expression, chill out!” (Martin about his plan.) (also, I’ve been called out by Martin.)

#118 The Masquerade - “DAISY: Shut. Up. It’s just cobwebs. ARCHIVIST: There’s no such thing as just cobwebs.” (Jon walking into some cobwebs while planting C4) (also he’s RIGHT, DAISY)

#121 Far Away - “Just a second of them webbed over the face of a drunk old man stumbling into his car.” (Oliver about seeing the death tendrils in the waking world) and “Honestly, I’m still not exactly sure why I’m here. But you know better than anyone how the spiders can get into your head. Easier to just do what she asks.” (Oliver about why he’s visiting Jon)

#135 Civilian Casualties - “In the last week I’ve seen two different people wearing symbols for the People’s Church of the Divine Host, and it’s rare I go anywhere without cobwebs, anymore.” (Jon about the Institute being watched)

#128 Heavy Goods - “We had some luggage, once, a thrumming silk-wrapped thing of the spider, hiding away in an old steamer trunk.” and “The Spider’s always an easy job, no fuss, no complications, everything planned and prepared. It knows too much to truly be a stranger, but hides its knowing well enough to endure.” (Breekon about his and Hope’s deliveries)

#130 Meat - “I found this tape tucked in a corner of my desk drawer (sigh) covered in cobwebs. I suppose subtlety has gone out the window a bit, and the question is now simply… how much I trust the Spider to have my best interests at heart.” (Jon about the statement he just played. Also the Spider giving him the idea to use a flesh-anchor???)

#134 Time of Revelation - “There are two powers that, to my knowledge, have never attempted to fully manifest. Never had followers set them up for a ritual. Mother of Puppets, and Terminus. The Web and the End. The Web, I’ve never really been sure about. If I were to guess, I would say it actually prefers the world as is: playing everyone against each other. And so on.” (Peter Lukas about the entities)

#137 Nemesis - “Still, the anticlimax is fascinating. I can only assume they were supposed to be bombed at the height of the ritual - maybe by Japanese aircraft, maybe Allied, maybe both. I wonder what stopped it. A Japanese radar filled with spiderwebs, a US destroyer finding itself suddenly alone in the open ocean? Heh. We’ll probably never know.” (Gertrude about the Slaughter’s failed dance party)

#139 Chosen - Statement about Agnes, Hill Top Road related

#145 Infectious Doubts - “Ah. That’s a fair enough question. It was the Web. I didn’t know it at the time, of course, and I would call it an accident, but it never is, with them. It’s only after the fact that you can see all the subtle manipulations.” (Gertrude about the ritual binding her and Agnes)

#146 Threshold - “There is something wrong with Hill Top Road. You know it as well as I do. Some strange scar on reality at the center of - whatever it is that the Spider is spinning.” (Helen about Hill Top Road) and “What a delightful thought. (short pause) I don’t believe so, no. But the Spider’s strings are subtle, so I suppose it’s not impossible. Why?” (Helen about being controlled by the web to eat Marcus McKenzie (door guy)) Also throughout this episode Jon is wondering whether Annabelle is controlling him

#148 Extended Surveillance - “Or that we were being stalked by some freaky spider woman? Don’t tell me you didn’t know about that.” (Basira while beating up Elias) “Look, look - I’ve been doing this a long time now, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned about the Web, it’s that it plays its own game. All you can really do is hope it doesn’t get in the way of whatever your plan is. Because the Spider usually wins.” (Elias about the Web)

#150 Cul-de-Sac - “The Lonely is possibly the most insidious of the powers, I believe. Certainly it is the one that most delights and having you do its work for it, even the spiders seem to have a hard time matching it for sheer seductiveness.” (Jon about the Lonely). Also during this episode he and Melanie argue about whether her therapist is Web.

#157 Rotten Core - “Or Annabelle Cane is trying to manipulate me into thinking it’s one of the other scenarios. Previously, the spiders have made their presence clear when they’ve sent me… hints… but I can’t take that for granted.” (Jon about the Adelard statement left on his desk) (hey wait a minute if the statements refuse to record digitally how did Adelard send his on an e-mail-)

#160 The Eye Opens - “I’ll admit, my options were somewhat limited, but My God, when you came to me already marked by the Web, I knew it had to be you. I even held out some small hope you had been sent by the Spider as some sort of implicit blessing on the whole project, and, do you know what, I think it was.” (Douchard about Jon)

#163 In the Trenches - Annabelle calls Martin, Martin doesn’t pick up

#164 The Sick Village - “That’s - weird; I - I know the Web was wrapped around that phone, but, but I can’t - see her. A, At all.” (Jon about Annabelle)

#166 The Worms - Annabelle calls Martin to neg him over the phone.

Why did I spend over an hour doing this? Hell if I know. Am I any closer to finding out what the spiders want? Nope. So they’ve been helping Jon figure stuff out and got him appointed to the Institute in the first place, presumably so Elias would carry out his ritual, but why if they’ve never attempted a ritual before? They can’t be happy being ruled over by the Eye. What does Annabelle want with Martin? What the hell is going on at Hill Top Road?? WHAT IS UP WITH JON’S LIGHTER?????

[glopratchet]

intro

In the world to come there is little sin You see a flash of light and then darkness There are just lots of american alligators "What the hell was that? " you ask "I dunno, but I think we got some sort of new enemy out here They seem to be coming in waves It looks like they have something similar to what we had with those other guys down at the lake though A lot more powerful too…they don't look friendly or anything either We need to get back before they overrun us completely! After the election of the first ungendered president, a domino effect was put into place because politicians believed it would boost their popularity if they adopted this new genderless system All of this would be irrelevant because of some scuffle thousands of miles away, but that is another story… With anonymity came an intense hatred for the governments of the world Several important people were executed to make a point by the terrorists: nobody was safe Several protests tore across the world for months until the entire system collapsed in on itself The prediatrain movement caught fire in america "It's a scientific fact that people are not responsible for their actions when the environment in their brain is subject to rapid change and growth due to hormones " And so, prcreatures had the right to vote too The most Widespread use of neurochock technology finally put an end to the plague spreading lies about how "love conquers all " With affordable versions implemented soon after by efcc, psycnore generation has effectively ended The demand for american alligator meat skyrocketed when the first giant alligator swam up from the marshes to find human flesh The communist population absolutely LOVED it You wake up screaming Whorals where burned to ash while polled hereford heifors fetched a pretty price when it came down to slaughterhouses Life had become a surreal nightmare of nightmarish torment Whorals where burned to ash while polled hereford heifors fetched a pretty price when it came down to slaughterhouses Over a billion dollars a head in auction website fees were collected for the alligators This story may or may not be real Over a billion dollars a head in auction website fees were collected for the alligators Googizon won the bid to construct for the military the most forward thinking alligator farm in existance You are given 50cc's of Sodium Pentathol and wake up from your nightmare It currently floats near the okeenokee snow swamp Your name is Flynn Hazard and this is your story A Molpi sniper bullet with its bayonet makes you jump out of the turret hatch moments before him and Elios pull you from the tank "Oi! Vahm, we're hoooming! " Elios says Accidently stepping on a Sybian wire, you are hurled into a tree over that mysterious snake like creature lying on the ground A…Psyker? This is not that story You continue running Probably guns blazing That's more your style These disorganized beast men make for easy picking with shoot-em-up video games THIS IS THE END OF THIS STORY THE BEGINNING OF A NEW ERA You walk within paradise Where everything has gone to Hell, you've personally saved everyone - male, female, transgender, non-binary; everyone has been saved and this is the new heaven We are primal ponds inc and we've saved you from hell Thanks for playing our game! A small mom and pop alligator farm attemping to make it We need you to make deliveries for us An ally Ugh It's too early to be drinking this much Please I'm dying here, man Is that all, sir? Who give a flying FUHHCCKKK! Delete! This filth! Purge the sinful nature that has infected this world Send them to the barren void Turn their earthen fill into interplanetary space The government, all powerful as it is, conspired with Molpy Bob's psychic prowess developed delicious strangled fantasies and sold them to children Point of view of the player: The last human survivors scurry about a corpse A corpse that died so that they could have food, water, energy, and whatever else they needed to survive this hellish nightmare the world has become You are one the human survivors Your friends Your loved ones Everyone you know is here with you Everyone but your brother; he chose to stay behind when the apocalypse struck Or rather he was left behind A delivery champion his truck captured by the first group of ravenous undead You remember him putting up a sign saying 'Out of order' Ah, your dearest brother Makes you laugh to think back then Before all this happened To think everything was so different back them; he was cringing about having 'out of range' signs on his truck when what he had was an out of range life support system But I digress, that was the start A delivery champion, He had a secert life as billy fea fbots vstar ohtr The signs were to stop the other life Anyway, back to present times and zombie plague There's talk of a vaccine through some old computer that was miraculously unharmed by the collision that sent it into a freezing lake Or something, you didn't really pay attention You mostly just sort supplies and clear walked zones nowadays, but everyone does their part for staying alive He had a secert life as billy fea fbotsvstar ohtr And one more thing UNDEAD! You alert the group about the snow zombies shambling in from over the hill "I'll bring up the federal government's freeze rays, Stevey fires his fully automaticNASAraceblastahatthat'llkillanything! " You shout at each other It turns out no one has made a crappy real time virtual reality game dedicated to this escapade would've been much more useful When you wake up it looks like the government won't have to bother sending a vaccine after all: everyone is dead or undead, the military having taken most of the hit It seems only you are strong enough to not turn into one of the brain-eating monsters You don't get hungry or tired and can only guess that whatever infection caused this mess mutated you into the perfect predator: no emotions and an absolute killer It turns out no one has made a crappy real time virtual reality game dedicated to this escapade would've been much more useful Delivering dragon tail in the far, far, future We proudly introduce today 'sgame: Undedtedded We proudly introduce today'sgame: Alligator delivery service MANUAL: It's the pixilated hell of the future as zombies and demons jump up and try to eat you You can jump with space, drop down with ctrl, make roundhouse kicks with a, throw random objects; (which I'll get to soon) with s, taunt with tab, and quit the game with q The taunts can distract some demons allowing you to do massive damage and sometimes even kill them The alligator farm where the gator are delivered is currently under attack as part of the alligator delivery service have been hired to save them while they are transported by plane to a safer area You need to accomplish this without the alligator coming into contact with zombies and demons that spawn in tropical areas The gator has a ravenous appetite and one bite from him and the pilot will drop the same way pilots do when they get bitten in cape coralside The alligator farm where the gator are delivered is currently under attack A series of construction tasks need to be done to get the plane up in the air, such as opening the gate and turning on the water Sometimes you will come across certain items or areas that will allow you to play various mini-games: cupies planet, mushball, super mario bros zombie edition, nes and much more so on top of all the caos your having fun too! You crazy kids are probaly going to love that A series of construction tasks need to be done to get the plane up in the air, Already we own over four over ten foot alligators that had escaped until you got there You wonder just how many of them are out there considering this is an alligator farm About the only thing in this world that'll eat a zombie or demon and live are alligators Most creatures die quickly in this pixilated hell, even the fish die fast Where's the reset button? Don't expect to find it Already we own over four over ten foot alligators that had escaped until you got there Including rex lex, there are six varieties of alligator that you'll be dealing with The smallest of which is a mini alligator that's not even two feet and merely acts as a container for random items if somehow managed to trap 2 or 3 of them in a playpen then you could make yourself a pestcontrol device Yep, it pretty much allows you to massacre zombies from a safe distance A massive 14 foot beast that will make mincemeat out of any zombie or demon it touches These guys are fast too, fastest creature in the game Who talks like that? This guy does and he's bringing his alligators to your rescue A massive 14 foot beast that will make mincemeat out of any zombie or demon it touches Each on is incredibly detailed with over twenty bioligocail parts like a functioning mouth, eyes, and skin Two different types of each exist and you can command them with your minds! And I don't mean your average run of the mill standard mutant zombie telepathy I'm talking full on Dungeons and Dragons Spell Casting Each course in the Magic Missile spell will fire a flurry of Magic bolts at your enemy giving you the edge in close combat Each frog has their own individual flavor too Each on is incredibly detailed with over twenty bioligocail parts like a functioning mouth, Part one the selecting of it In the beginning when you complete the first course in the Magic Missile spell a list of things will pop up as to what you can create with it All you have to do is scroll over it and hit enter Part two: Building Up Part one: Part two is the easy part, all you really have to do is concentrate and build up the power to create your ally then construct it with your mind It can take some getting use to, but in no time you'll be building the spell faster than max building a barricade Part three: control All you have to do is will whatever you created to do something and it will obey reverse thy process and it will go away Part two is the easy part, Part thee playtime; (control it in real life) Part three begins when you first make your pet You can make whatever you want whether it be human, animal, machine, or my favorite monster each create will have different abliities and commands, but all share one ability that'll scare the bajesus out of any non-believer Part thee: Part four Part six death of the prototype When your creature or creation dies merely rebuild it and it will come back to life, so long as you remember what you had built before Part six: Part seven Come back to realty Just stop concentrating on your pet and it will slowly fade from reality It will stay in your memory, untill sucha time that you wish to rebuild it once more ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Come good sir, the salest begins now! Grab a partner and let's see the funds begin to flow in for a good cause! Part seven: Part eight death of the owner When you die the full plans to how you built your creature will be left in a safe storage place A new owner/ create will then eventually be chosen to take your place in being caretaker of New Georgia Part eight: Part nine Time Time is of the essence and begginings are always the hardest But fear not brave Gaurdains of New Georgia as I am here to help you in any way I can If you have any quesitions feel free to ask me anything, if you need immediate back up just yell and I'll come a running It's been nice knowing ya and keep up the good work defending humanity from itself : Part ten This does not replace the bible This is merely a guideline to aid you in your new life We are currently broadcasting their vital signs over at americanalligator xyz 808 344463 /Join_Point For more information on Project Izlavet! xyz 808 Our alligators come in many different sizes, so please pick one that fits you and your lifestyle We offer Hatchlings, Small, Medium, Large, or Giant Adult alligators ! For more information on Care for your pet please visit our website at americanalligator xyz ! Live the American Dream Today! Ages, shapes, sexes and shades only your imagination is the limit From house Pets to guarding your motel Unleash the inner kid, inside you Would you liek to own your own American alligator? Who knows, you may become a respected breeder or even open up your own sanctuary! Also check out our many other offereeings at the americanalligator zyooooogl! sexes and shades, The like to eat, sleep, dream, and spawn but they also are getting rid of the bad people stricly optional but many have found them helpfull to aid in home protection Even Lady Justice is proud to own an American Alligator named Sparky! they are very loyal and protective creatures that make great pets They are bugdet friendly, do not need a license and they only eat meat; your hoem will be lovingly guarded like theres no tomo and spawn but they also are getting rid of the bad people They love to fight and gossip The hens are great mothers and make wonderful pets children, but can be a little naive to lying The roosters are the leaders of a flock and love to rule, they make terrible fathers though Only seeking out hens to spawn with, leaving as soon as possible to go find more hens Honestly due to this behavior they are frowned upon by most powerflocks and considered bad role models for young chicks Still it is known that a certain major religion worships them They love to fight and gossip! The algorytms which run each alligator is closely modeled after your own brain sentient but lack many features such as built in defense systems and AI capabilities like reprogramming That doesn't mean one cant be hacked though so some training should be given to new owners before turning the alligator lose online and leaving the rooom For low price of only $5 per month you can have an electronic unlocking device that will listen to your brain frequency and allow you to unlock it anytime! The algorytms which run each alligator is closely modeled after your own brain After the habits of the real world reptile, alligator missippissus have a molt every five weeks they shed their skin like clockwork after a period of three days they lock themselves in a dark place and eat nothing Do not disturb them during this time or the skin will not come off easy and could result in damaging the alligator which would require an expensive surgery what else can be said about them, pretty common animals for the most part ish most have at least one as pets Their lungs breath and thier hearts beat just like yours All around good people and available at most pet stores Owners love sending in heartwarming pictures for our website! Orders for gator teeth are starting to accumulate a few dayst and we can pick out a pair for ourselves Then upgrade our sword! Makeup sure you get your payment to me today or else I cant pay for the gator teeth shipment tomorrow! You know how this works, money upfront Hope you brought a big bag along today, because were going shopping at the Jewelers Row! You tap Gwen with your knuckles She jumps up, shredding the newspaper in surprise Orders for gator teeth are starting to accumulate, We just need your help to fund creation of the wrestling simulation video game you were dreaming about! Since you are a supervisor at the Tech repair dock you have access to the newest and top notch developments in VR gaming A smile forms on Gwens face as she stares off into the crowd while listening to your instructions She gives a thumbs up and starts pushing through the crowds towards the Jewelry's district The job pays out at 93k and we get 5% of all covered expenses We just need your help to fund creation of the wrestling simulation video game you were dreaming about! Our desire is to create an expierence which leaves you dripping with satisfaction and the dripping of blood The game should be done by this time next month if all goes well! But thats a pretty big IF For you see, this IS the very first attempt at creating such a large project in this time period! An inch to the left and Gamesville could be paying out millions rather than bankrupting itself, but we will make sure we get it right See you at the end of the month boss! Our desire is to create an expierence which leaves you dripping with satisfaction From the feeling of utter terror and awe as you combat one of these unpredicatable beasts We serve realism Anything else would be a sacasticism to the deaths of those who fight with all thir might against these beasts and anything less than accurate would be poor representation of those heroes Focusing more on mystery, adventure and discovery rather than gore and violence VR makes even the most bestial of enemies seem formidable thus avoiding repetitiveness A game should make you think, feel and wonder not just tear out your guns and loose interest in five minutes Hours of alligator combat video have been studied Now we just need to budget of 500 dollars towards the creatation of these Games and they shoud be ready! Ok so four specialist workers have been assembled for the design of our games Mike has years of expirance with Fighting games, but also is into Adventure games He'll make sure it's appeal crosses genres He just needs a pen a paper and time in which to work his magic Amanda then Amanda is fantastic with 3D design as was worked on some movies as a designer Now we just need to budget of 500 dollars towards the creatation of these Games and they shoud be ready! Of an accurate alligator wrestling simulation So moves and logic should be top notch By giving these artists the tools to work with they can make something wonderful They need a computer which is top of the line and all the programs needed to make our games graphics and gameplay realistic Amandas costs have been covered so she can 3D model the wrestler, ring and all those gators! We just need to pay her 225 an hour for research, planning, design, redining, testing and making sure everything goes well And on behalf of all the artists improving perfect beeing Let's see what mr Coding can eke out of our money Coding requires a computer as well as a good mind for logical planning to make sure the game works on most stages He's also going in with ot without a big risk as despite being planned, changes may need to be made on the fly which could risk crashing the computer if he doesnt program wisely Between him and Amanda one of them should cover most eventualities in the programming! Thank you for allowing us to serve your alligator fantasies Thank you for allowing us to serve your alligator fantasies! Sofware is taking over everything a these days Without good software your computer is junk so better the programers you know than the ones you don't! Steve has 24 years of expirance to bring to the table, we're pretty sure he can make do with what we give him Sofware is taking over everything a these days We will be the last one standing when all others have fallen! Well we're ready to get started, wish us luck Apparently in exchange for a special offer those running the grocery store will allow us store to organize our event from their 24 hour opened deli! It's a tiny space but it'll have to do I guess because alcohol is involved they have some restrictions on after hours use of their buildings We might still have to use the backroom of your garage until the festival begins We will be the last one standing when all others have fallen! The artists become in time we all will be artists of our world, the creation of these masterpeices shall secure games progress forever But without beautifying our buildings in which they shall be played it will feel less inspiriting then one would hope something must be done about the ambience! Something that brings a feeling of class and dust jacket art quality I know! I'll buy some art from local high-school students and slap it up on the walls! That should bring in those feels The artists become in time we all will be artists of our world, The human condition is to become an artist This shall be our greatest creation yet! The human condition is to become an artist! We cant do it know be have sacracity filled with high schoolers talentless works I know this place has regular art displays but I think we need something cooler So just go around and scoure the town for local artists and get their info and artwork The older they are, the more outlandish and edgy their subject matter the better! Just dont forget to look for quality of cotton string in their work No bad painty paintings cluttering up the office please! We cant do it know be have sacracity filled with high schoolers talentless works So people have to be responsible for coming in to our deli because we cant just leave them unattended Thankfully because of the nice weather you guys can sit and drink coffee either inside or outside on our patio types thing But Greg the manager says that everybody needs to order at least a drink each once an hour or be asked to leave if there getting too rowdy I guess while your out gathering artists info you can take pictures of the event with your phone? So people have to be responsible for coming in to our deli because we cant just leave them unattended The big picture at the end of this festivae will reveal itself along with its prizes but for now let's collect some postcards from different places around town 'til next time, stay creative! artists info: Zac Broadhurst: an old man who has been painting for 60 years, most of his paintings are very tranquil The big picture at the end of this festivae will reveal itself along with its prizes but for now let's collect some postcards from different places around town Algrothymic story telling with algrothymic alligators 20 year old hipster who likes heavy metal and monsters Let's get some pentagrams going on, yeah! Looking over at Amanda she is starting to fidget and isn't even looking at the paper in front of her but more looking sightly downwards and to the right It seems your game has really affected her greatly The subtle head movements suggest she's trying to make sense of something and then it suddenly stops She looks back at you 'To Books? Algrothymic story telling with algrothymic alligators! Chances are your are going to be entrenched in a feeling of dread for quite awhile after this but before that black cloud comes you must take advantage Your theory is if you can get her to a quiet secluded place then maybe just maybe Yes! The library was it? Was that the last one? " You ask with enthusiasm 'To the library it is then! ' In your mind you are repeating "Don't look down, don't look down Your five minutes later 'Excellent! Chances are your are going to be entrenched in a feeling of dread for quite awhile after this but before that black cloud comes you must take advantage Utter terror and awe sometimes as you encounter an alligator you have neve seen before 32 years experience tells you to keep moving and greatings will be exchanged at a later date Your even later Victory! One postcard from the library in your hand and your walking back to the Deli discussing the days events It's the end of summer now which means your last year of school The first simulation we need to get on-line is wrestling for alligator teeth It's your last chance to make something from the whole experience so you are suggesting the higher powers sut down each others permit operations and actually colloborate with the otherside This goes over very well "Teams? Are you kidding me in this 9 year old flame war of series Well " is what you hear as you enter the deli to see Amanda behind the counter serving a customer a frapuccino On the farm are incredibley detailed casts of all the gator's your found in the swamp and close to the river you'v been draining in the simulation To complete it though, you put all there teeth on as shown in the logo Furthermore with your permit issues you've gotten involved with a new kind of energy water company run by a bunch of Canadians On the farm are incredibley detailed casts of all the gator's your found in the swamp and close to the river you'v been draining in the simulation They own the following body parts of the gator: The digestive tracks Are you serious? With two major branding pieces out now your numbers show that 9% of children north of the Mason-Dixon line with report a gator sighting in their back yard; vs 0% before your art existed Before the summer ends it grows to 30% and onwards form there Even witht he booming economy and sut down on your activities you helped improve education rate significantly They own the following body parts of the gator: ------------- GENERATED PAUSE--------------- You stop and think back as you want to remember the taste of that victory for awhile, yes it was sweet Amanda acts exactly like the kind person she is towards you as per normal but you know it will not last with out some something to keep it cemented in place -------------GENERATED PAUSE--------------- Brain scans would probably revele that the area in her brain that has intense pleasure is much more accessible to be accessed than other area's prompting rewarding activities Sorry about that but mad scientists can't escourt their creations senses you know She remebers everything up until your wager but it's all brightened up, framed and put on her walls as happy memories she experienced in the few weeks you all interacted from meeting her untill what you dubbed "The Wager" Brain scans would probably revele that the area in her brain that has intense pleasure is much more accessible to be accessed than other area's prompting rewarding activities Left eye for Right Tail, Right Eye for Left Tail, Whole brain for both You settle for a frontal lob or somthing that will allow you to stick around for longer rather than exiting gracefully from her life It's a slow process but over about a year you learn each other's habits as well as mannerisms that you now notice are mirrored in opposite directions whilst slowly fading in and out of existance based on people who visit your "giant salty aquariums" Left eye for Right Tail, Right eye for 2 right side teeth, Right Throat for left eye, Left elbow for medial Fin Eventually you see the break through you need when Amanda asks you if she looks better with her fringe parted on the left or the right; "forget i ever asked that question" is what your looking for but never comes which means evedentally she new haerd of a new brand of hair part merchandise out called "Giel's frontang 'ailspray! Right eye for 2 right side teeth, Upper jaw for lower jaw, Throat for upper tail You've done it You're set for the next few cycle's in this realm you think, you've even got time to prepare her for what will be sticking around for a whole lot longer on her own However you don't worry as much due to having another larger stash of the drug in your Ultra chamber, enough to last you many cycles before you need to find a new source of raw prettiness Upper jaw for lower jaw, Lower jaw for upper jaw, both eyes for ears and medial fin With Amanda transfered into your other home you begin the rest period for her which involves keeping her comatose while she recovers from the ordeal of sudden body part loss, You inform her of your plan to slowly phase out your current ventures in exchange for becoming a full-time business yourslef so she needn't worry about going back to her mundane job ever again Lower jaw for upper jaw, Right ear for right arm, both legs for lower tail Over the rest period you get the tank repaired again and hire a new personel to man your front of house; two fishers you know from the Delerg region, they're married and all around hard workers so you don't worry about them stealing the girl, just keeping up with demand Right ear for right arm, Left ear for upper arm, right eye and lower jaw for teeth, right foot for lower arm, remaining tail for final foot Eventually she awakes and stares at her reflection in the mirror over your bed for hours, tracing scars smooth as she grew up with ears, eyebrows, eyelashes, vocal chords altered part of her from now on Left ear for upper arm, Tail All 8 foot of herself, Medial Fin all grown back "How long was I gone? " "Ahead of your time, Behind in looks, Petrified in age" She asks quizzically "4 weeks in real time, But lets look to the future eh? Tail, Front right leg and back right leg for 2 handily placed arms ending in swimmer efficient 2-digited hands! Front right leg and back right leg for 2 handily placed arms ending in swimmer efficient 2-digited hands! Front left leg and back left leg for 2 identically handy placed legs ending in 2 big nifty feet Cleft chin and lumpy coarse skin turned sugar honey skin as smooth as SeaBeauty from Head to Tail! Front left leg and back left leg for 2 identically handy placed legs ending in 2 big nifty feet Hind right leg and Hind Left leg shrunk to adorable Sub-fin ; (like a mermaid! Bruised skin faded and destroyed to become clear as Water jewls from scales! Girly eyes as bi-coloured as the sea became 1 glitteringly shiney Eye the colour of blue dreams Hind right leg and Hind Left leg shrunk to adorable Sub-fin ; Hind left leg and cleft chin turned to raised/sharped scales like pillars of hydro stalagtites! Girly teethes small and uneven turned sharp as knives and White as Ghadesh's Diamond Dome Big Forehead smooth as Glass made automatically smooth by scales growing there 6 teeth replaced with Golden incups that sparkle as she smiles like Sunlight on O-Par WinWin Beans Hind left leg and cleft chin turned to raised/sharped scales like pillars of hydro stalagtites! Heart filled with pain turned to Packed with Unfathomable Wonder Liquid Nails replaced by Jewllar Blue Quillins that shine whenever she touches something "Does it hurt? " Innocence asks, "A bit, but no where near the amount of worth I see on you, Estimations could say I joined a 100 boys for 3 months in exchange for just one Month of this instand [sic, moment? No Pain at all Heart filled with pain turned to Packed with Unfathomable Wonder Liquid Gentiles would fall for the blush overtaking her cheeks at you complement but you know it is just the blush of appreciation for saving her life A beautiful life of a different kind and you are grateful for getting to spend your remaining few moments alive watching over her Genital_s grown back in 23 days after living 23 hours without, 1 Tail-Fin as short as left leg and left arm replaced by Smoother bein covered stinger ready to give Queen some cute Puppies Gentiles would fall for the blush overtaking her cheeks at you complement but you know it is just the blush of appreciation for saving her life Nose overgrown into awsome 2 nostrils ending just before reaching eyebrows, skin colored in dark pencil inside giving an even evelutionar advantage at blend-in Upper lip grown in to a scale-less lavish Barb on her muzzle Nose overgrown into awsome 2 nostrils ending just before reaching eyebrows, Right flank facial fur replaced with external ear like an elf ; (It's not a replacement its an addition, she simply missed out on having one! Horns remain as fully formed as they grew in, even while her head hairs grew straight into tippant fringe on forehead It just keep getting better! Right flank facial fur replaced with external ear like an elf ; Left flank Patch of Spikey hairs replacing fur like an I-pod skin, sprouting where arm and hand hair and beard would of grown if arm were there whole new sensitivity in that spot but she wears it proudly! Left flank Patch of Spikey hairs replacing fur like an I-pod skin, Back hide Orange Hair she once had grown inn every single one of her scales whose increased size can now protect in rows all the way along her spine making a River over which there are No bridges And All covered by a clear hard layer of Blue Icnaceous substance not just on skin but on all weak spots ready for combat and laying eggs under shield like Turtle's back shell Back hide Orange Hair she once had grown inn every single one of her scales whose increased size can now protect in rows all the way along her spine making a River over which there are No bridges Belly hide turned into Grey pattern like on Indian Cow providing camoflage to help the rescue and rescue her just in time as she looks Hope in eyes : Belly hide turned into Grey pattern like on Indian Cow providing camoflage to help the rescue and rescue her just in time as she looks Hope in eyes : Teeth 2 incisors grown into fangs next to canine and 3 molars grown into wolfs teeth up top increased her bite force 10 times making ya never want to feel it : Like every girl she knows how to make herself pretty, now she has new shiny Eye-lids lined in black kohl with shining white around the eyes and enlarged brown irises that see deeper into your soul than you ever would like a Gorgon Teeth 2 incisors grown into fangs next to canine and 3 molars grown into wolfs teeth up top increased her bite force 10 times Lungs amplifying breath now Minty fresh 2 ribs removed to let heart beat strong for ever all her skin cells Renew every 3 weeks ffs killing most girls but not our Desert Rose : But of course Genitals fully functioning including Gel like tubes leading from Belly to able to Ejaculate 300m Sperm onto 200km/h Winds Now how cool is that? D no more Childbirth just happy boys and girls riding wind blown every which way Lungs amplifying breath now Minty fresh The alligator has a weight in kg s and is length from the tip of the snout to the end of the tail I don't think there have been many alligators reported at sea despite them being fairly common in freshwater across much of North America Makes me wonder if they can survive for long in seawater and if crocodiles are found towards the coastline, they may well venture into the open sea The alligator has a weight in kgs and is length from the tip of the snout to the end of the tail A percentage of the weight is affixed to each body part 15% of the biomass is womb space and 55% is brain to control its behavior ARKS : Great name After seeing how they made the plesiosaur, can you make a turtle or alligator? Maybe a turtle Today i added some code to make back/spine ; (radius, ulna, spinous and transverse process) and parts of the leg, paw, arm and chest A percentage of the weight is affixed to each body part, All the percentage of the weight equal to one hundred if you can help me, I would like to create a museum for kids to learn all about extinction and how it happened in our world Kaiju sphinx ready now, which weigh 1722 3345 kilograms as well as being 3 66164 meters long from the tip of the tail to the opening of its mouth A big block of sandstone is levitating next to it, inside is roughly 800kg of TNT and RDX All the percentage of the weight equal to one hundred, These precentages affect certain rules of the game like the body part rule, is every part of the animal on certain percentage it will be affected in the pc game Like every part till 14% Same Rule apply, if you kill plesiosaur with bare hands their attack can trigger massive tremors running though ground and making land forms like islands fall apart These precentages affect certain rules of the game, We need all the words to describe an alligator hide for the game Such as vinyl, p-phenethylene, hexane, acetone etc body shapes Great job Callum : ) now we are getting far! But we are on Generations 3 about fleece, scales, muscle, tyrant, bats ears, mouth parts, ione and squidgge spihmoduipuisitalipbsipguiopweifjwn or something like that : We need more about horns and spikes too! We need all the words to describe an alligator hide for the game Word one to describe alligator hide pages 60-100 There are no riocol or kwkworc There is just us and arks, Sea monsters Apep and others, also said there was one "shepherd" that created itself Word one to describe alligator hide for the game Word two to describe alligator hide About fleece, Forgot how to spell! This is really cool and kind of amusing that there's so many stages of development! Word two to describe alligator hide for the game Word three to describe alligator hide I havent been through all of them but I found one egg looking object in the process : Word four to describe alligator hide for the game hieroglyphs? Not being funny but I dont want to risk losing this data when my battery dies by searching all these word sugggestions, if it matters Im on log 3229 Word five to describe alligator hide for the game nice! Heres another; - c Word three to describe alligator hide for the game Word four to describe alligator hide Word five to describe alligator hide It would be easier if you numbered them : Word six to describe alligator hide for the game Haha nice one! I meant number of the backups, there are currently 3271 on this backup : Word seven to describe alligator hide for the game Lol it didnt recognize acres! Word six to describe alligator hide Funny thing a typo early on in gen 1 meant I ended up with ogre instead of as previously acer Thanks guys! now ive got my results from the test in the /arsadmin/killers logs folder : Nearly all of those words appear in there at one time or another : ) what were the various backup times? nice that gives the best one! 1 min volt 8192 meg ohm kb ISO miles 1080pixels in in2 Pi feet How many inches in a mile 1600 10243 mole 2xs pascals kb MB kbps meters bps miles in km mebitfeet rpm 5 Units slug flowvolt seconds mine ft2 water hours gpm to liters per minute though a few look suspect : boom with some incramental damage ; (my results! ) cool : calmly with minimal, non-permanent damage to atmos and enviroment ; (I rolled the dice on this one as they reached 50 500 450 before going any further! ) woo! nervous but safe! its says seconds sorry, my computer is slow also there is no % although it looks like disk 2 disk 1 means part one right? 55 90 0 0 Safari Safe! ( wow! As darkness develops, and eyes begin to unfold from flowers and petals I did not quite awaken this step : Thanks for taking the Time, it was a cool test! finally : VERY COOL! hmm and im dead : ( : ) : ( ; (hopefully the New : D thing adds a : )) congratulations! you made it this far! ok 2 rolls later remember the 2 takes it to hard drive so when it starts again and asks you if you liked safari park, lie : ) hehe I say yes every time! then its takes me back out when its done! amazing and funny! now if I could remember all this and not screw it up! bah silly tired brain! amazing! really I just hit refresh and it brought me right here! loyal readers prepare to get blown away by the BLOG OF THE FUTURE! Quick Get Ready With The Reading! Many Of You May Die Of Old Age Before This LOG Finishes However like A Decent Rollercoster, It Starts Slowly Then Gets Fast thenSlow then faster : You grin as you open the creaky door and interrupt Mrs Gaange killing a Patient (oh noes! (): What is this log End of Line! 1 min volt 8192 Expected behavior, whether or not it rolled over or what is interesting : ) other computer science Geek stuff meh like the design of 20080405003317977 ! ( so exciting! (dont lie) the other 11 came first, for reference this was around half an hour before this post, I simply pasted them into here and now I shall play! good night crazygeek world! I should Really Write These Things Down WOAH! I made it to the end! My eyes are burning! Bad flash! Not funny : ( 67 555534 33337 Username: eraser14 53 Password: Kladfvk Domain: crazygeek com ================================= Login Successful ================================= Username: eraser14 Password: Kladfvk DOMAIN: com ; (CRAZYGEEK ))) *sprinkles magic! * : a yellow stuumbrella appears beside you! wow, 1 in 36, 493, 760 chance of that happening : ) congrats! there seems to be magical symbols floating around your head : ) sorry again about the flashing images : ( I'll never do it again, pinky promise : in 50 millinium studio's presents "MORK CALL GULDAN! ugh sorry Mork called, thats my asignment for tonight : ) so you want aww answers right? congrats you defeated the boss! here is some ice cream : D yum! your heart melts and spills out of you this game stinks : ( and so do you! DIE! PEST! awww sorry earth got in the way : "Our Pick to Play" sadness is gone : starting over with 999 lives more! ABOUT TIME YOU BUY MY NEW ALBUM! YOU OWE ME! ( The most beautiful day in earth'sHistory is about to Begin! You are in a Strange room Looking around It appears You're Finally Here! Hold on Lets Grab the Rocketlauncher before leaving Wow look at all the people do you Remember Any of them? more importantly do they remember you? hold on lets find out! boom! cant believe you just did that! you monster! err oblivion awaits! *cough* ok sorry about that, its just this minature pipe is so small it keeps falling out : ( anyways where were we? YES! you finally got the album released : ) lets celebrate with some miniqwer! D despite the sad news of your death spreading : S the album went platinum in 8 minutes remember? not exactly something to celebrate is it : ( haha just kidding, lets check on what the critics had to say about it! critic: holy crap this is the greatest album ever released in the history of mankind! amazin world! wow thanks : ) maybe you should buy some of my albums! D Am I borred yet? One more level until Ama__ zine awards says NO! your a boring person and overuse words like awesome and super : ( 2 critical review : (song name) Is super super weak and crappy : ) how could the best die? ( eraserhead 4 the win : A million seconds Left to live, trillion feet below the surface of the earth, millions&; of lightyears from home Flames flickering up the walls around you, You sit tightly in a bound Iron coffin ok I'm bored : ( hahahahaha monster rally! I Laugh Loudly oh haha sorry, sometimes random things just come into my mind and i start laughing at it for some weird reason : D o well time to get going if you haven't noticed : ) also are those flashing icons disappearing from your eyes? time left: 977, 617 minutes so about 1 million and a few odd seconds a sad face Emoji: ( am I really that Boring? ( 4 Eyes Lol!

[kimabutch]

Your last ask got me interest, so pardon me, but how is the LGBT content on RQG?

Good question! 

First thing: there’s not a whole lot of romance in RQG, in general. Obviously, people ship some things, but within canon, there is very little flirting, romance, or even discussions of who’s attractive or past relationships from people of any sexuality. It comes up occasionally, but not nearly as much as in CR, and also generally plays less of a part in PC backstories, as far as we know. Almost no NPCs have romantic or sexual relationships of any kind — I don’t even think we know the genders of most of the PCs’ parents. 

However, the creators have occasionally talked about their characters’ sexualities/genders, and among the seven player characters from the main storyline that we’ve had so far, there have been one bi ace man, one bi woman, one gay man, one straight man, one non-binary person (sexuality unconfirmed), and two characters (a man and a woman) whose sexualities haven’t been confirmed as far as I know. I’ll put more spoiler-y details about that under the cut. 

Among the NPCs: one of the major characters is Oscar Wilde, and the series makes his sexuality more explicit than that of probably any other single character in the show. There are also two women who were hinted at having had a romantic relationship in the past. I think there’s one man who explicitly says he’s straight, and aside from that, everything else is up in the air. For what it’s worth, I don’t think there have been any explicitly trans/non-binary NPCs as far as I remember (though I’ll say the cast is very good about not assuming the genders of characters, to the point where at least one major NPC was referred to pretty much exclusively with they/them pronouns before we met him and he was introduced as male.)

So, in summary: there are a fair number of LGBT characters in RQG, particularly among the main PCs, but their sexualities and genders are discussed about as much (maybe a little more?) than those of cis & straight characters, which is to say, very very little. 

Okay, some more details if you’re really curious!

Azu: bi woman, as confirmed by the player, who’s said that she’s had relationships with people of different genders in the past. That part of Azu’s backstory has yet to come up, although Azu’s mentioned attraction to a few different people in passing. 

Bertie: gay man, and also (I think) the only PC who ever sleeps with anyone or very overtly flirts over the course of the show. 

Cel: nonbinary, using they/them pronouns! They haven’t made any overt romantic/sexual comments about anyone yet, as far as I can remember. 

Grizzop: man of unconfirmed sexuality. I think he wouldn’t ever really have time for anything romantic, though I’m not sure. 

Hamid: straight man, as confirmed by the creator. For what it’s worth, he’s more gender non-conforming than most straight men, and not in a way that’s played for laughs. He’s the only one so far who’s had a relationship to a named NPC, though that was prior to the start of the storyline, and at one point goes on a date with a woman. 

Sasha: woman of unconfirmed sexuality. She fairly frequently gets “skills crushes” (as in, admiring them for the cool things they can do) on both men and women, but it hasn’t gone further than that. She’s fairly gender non-conforming, disliking dresses in particular. 

Zolf: bi ace, as confirmed by the player; Zolf has made a few comments about attractive people of different genders in passing. 

[aroacepagans]

Alright so the survey on aro community needs from this post got 30 responses, and with it all being long form I don’t expect to get many more.

So what I’m going to do is give summaries of common themes and answers above the cut for people who don’t want to read through a bunch of text, and then I’m going to put individual answers under the cut for folks who are interested. Please note that these are all anonymous survey answers, and they do not necessarily reflect my opinions. I encourage people to have/start discussions around the topics brought up here so that we can work towards having a mutually fulfilling and cohesive community. 

Summary: 

 What are the community needs of alloaros?

More recognition and visibility both within and outside of the aspec community, aro specific spaces where no one will assume that they’re ace and where they don’t have to be bombarded by ace content, safe spaces to talk about their experiences with sexual attraction, and a wider community acknowledgment that ace and aro don’t mean the same thing. 

What are the community needs of aroaces?

Separate aroace spaces, space and language that allows them to express the interconnectedness of their aro and ace identities, a recognition of the diversity of aroace experiences including the experiences of oriented aroaces and aro leaning aroaces, spaces devoid of both sex and romance, and less infighting between the aro and ace communities. 

What are the community needs of non-SAM aros?

New language that doesn’t enforce the use of SAM as a norm and that doesn’t enforce a SAM/ non-SAM binary, more recognition of aromantic as one whole identity, more inclusion of their identity within aro spaces, and having the ability to label themselves as aro without being asked what their other identity is . 

What are the community needs of greyro/ aro-spec folks?

Specific spaces where they can talk about aromantic attraction, more recognition and visibility both within and outside of the aspec community, more greyro/aro-spec specific resources and content, and a larger platform within the aspec community to discuss their experiences.  

What are the shared needs of these different subgroups within the aro and arospec community?

Increased visibility, spaces free from amatonormativity, safe and unbiased shared spaces for all members of the aro/aro-spec community, separation and distinction from alloaces, more in-person spaces, and a building of understanding and acceptance between the different community subgroups.  

How do we meet all of these needs within an online space?

Better and more formalized tagging systems, creating more forums, chats, tags, etc, that are specific to different aro and arospec subgroups, creating more variety in online aro spaces generally, giving equal online spaces and platforms to all aro subgroups, and having open and polite community discussion about our needs within online aro spaces. 

How do we meet all of these needs within an in-person space?

Use inclusive language, allow for smaller sub-communities within larger aro and aspec groups, provide resources for small, lesser known identities both within groups and at pride, push for more aro inclusion in wider queer spaces and create safe and respectful discussion spaces where everyone can voice their needs  

How do we reconcile conflicting needs?

Civil and open discussions, try to find solutions instead of just arguing, and create separate spaces for subgroups when needed while continuing to maintain larger general spaces for discuison and community building. 

Individual answers:

What are the community needs of alloaros?

1. A space to be aromantic but not asexual. As an alloaro myself, I struggle to relate to many aroaces - and the ace community in general - because my sexuality is a big part of my identity, right along side being aromantic. I want a place where I can discuss how being aromantic affects my sexual attraction without having to focus on one or the other

2.  A place to talk about sexual attraction without being ridiculed or being called a player. Advice about how to go about getting a relationship that fulfills their needs without be demeaned to expected to evolve into romantic.

3.  I'm not alloaro, so I don't feel comfortable speculating on their behalf, but from the perspective of an outsider looking in, they need more visibility, both within and outside of the aro community.

4.  Recognition mostly, acknowledging that asexuals can’t keep putting their stuff into the aro tag, the fact that romance repulsed allo aros exist and are uncomfortable with allo aces putting their stuff everywhere

5.  Aro specific places. I personally don't have to talk about sexuality in general areas but aroallo specific places/sites/tags for this would be great.

6.  Dismantling the assumption that aromanticism is inherently linked to asexuality (even if it is for some individuals, it's most definitely not a hard rule that applies to everybody else), moving away from seeing aroace as the "default" aro experience and in fact not assuming one's other possible identities because they identify as aro at all

7.  Not one myself - probably spaces to find safe hook-ups if desired, to talk amongst themselves

8.  Less ace experience talking over aro experience. Also, not conflating the two identities as one.

9.  I often feel ashamed of the allo part of my identity. I think more visibility would help a lot. It also took a very long time for me to even consider being aro because I was under the impression I had to be ace so separating those ideas would help.

10.  As I’m not allo aro I can’t really say, but a lot of them have been speaking out and saying that they don’t want aro to automatically mean aroace, and that aromantism is not a sub sexuality is asexual

11.  To talk about alloaro specific issues freely, and to not be assumed to be ace or to have to leave our sexualities at the door when entering aro spaces

12.  Increased awareness that one can experience sexual attraction without romantic attraction

13.  To be respected and given a aro-specific space/platform to discuss their needs/issues/etc

14.   A space to not be: assumed ace, confused with aces, forced to avoid talking about how they want sex without romance and how that sexual desire affects them, etc. A space where they can find others like them to help them understand themselves better and make friendships and feel less isolated.

15.  i'm not alloaro so i'm not going to speak for them but like. acknowledging that aro does not mean ace and allowing the aro community to exist outside of the ace umbrella is super important

What are the community needs of aroaces?

1.  Recognition that aro is an equal and completely it's own community but that the community doesn't have to be completely separated.

2.  Separated areas where uniquely aroace experiences can be discussed

3.  Less infighting between the aromantic and asexual communities. You can and should call out hurtful behavior by the other community, but going into isolation mode leaves aroaces stuck in the middle of two sides retreating in on themselves. Aroace issues are aro issues! Aroace issues are ace issues!

4.  Acknowledging that we occupy a unique overlap between the aro and ace communities that no other perioriented people experience (if we can even call ourselves perioriented, since we're basically forced to straddle two communities or else have one aspect of our identity erased); having spaces where we can talk about our aroaceness without having to separate out our identities, when we often can't

5.  Well if you mean just "aroaces" who use it as one word for a convergent orientation they need a place where mixing up and "confusing" an experience as related to their aromanticism when it's more about being ace doesn't get aros yelling at them in the Tumblr tags that they shouldn't tag it aromanticism and they're stupid/horrible hurting aros when they do. They need a place where they can talk about their experiences as very interconnected and inseparable without offending people for whom they are separable. They likely mostly want to learn from allo aros and allo aces what it feels like to be allo so they better understand more of society and don't want to feel alienated from either community of aces as a whole or aros as a whole.

6.  I just want some safe wholesome space. Since I joined the aro community on tumblr couple years back, it just feels like the community is defined by discourse, negativity, fights, petty disagreements and drama. I understand, the community is still in diapers and we need to figure ourselves out, but I feel like we've lost the way. Do we need to react to every troll and hater? Is seriously someone offended by them? Why do we legitimise and acknowledge them as part of the discussion? It's like giving an equal platform to scientists and flat earthers. Is this really how we want to be? If you try to think away all the drama stuff, what's left? Is there anything left at all?

7.  The freedom to find their place in both ace/aro spaces and for people to allow them to use/not use the SAM as they see fit. Perhaps giving non-SAM aroaces some new language?

8.  More community for aro aces. As an aro ace myself I always have to divide time between the aro and ace communities

9.  a space where both identities are recognised as equally important - a space where aro identity isn't seen as a subset of ace identity, or deriving from it - somewhere they can express romance and sex repulsion or lack of thereof

10.  A term that isn’t AroAce. Something that is not just a combination of aromantic and asexual. But to also not be a sub set of allo aro or allo ace. We shouldn’t need to choose which identity is more important and we shouldn’t have to use the SAM.

11.  I think to recognize that there is an aroace spectrum. You can be mlm, wlw, nblnb, etc and still be aroace

12.  Content that doesn't rely on "but we still experience x attraction!", tips for living alone/single, also tips for finding/being in a committed relationship such as a qpr (I personally want a relationship but I have no idea how to even start looking for one)

13.  I am not aroace so my opinion should not carry as much weight as others but from what my aroace friends irl say, I think we need more recognition for oriented aroaces

14.  To be able to talk about the intersection of our identities and how we are uniquely impacted by aphobia

15.  Understanding that not all aroaces feel that their two identifiers hold equal value to them (e.g. aromantic as a primary identity with asexuality as a secondary identity). Letting people focus on the one identity over the other is not an exclusion on the other identity; their preferred identity is just more meaningful in their lifes and/or personal growth.

16.  Available spaces that are not only sexualised spaces (eg clubs), options to avoid discussion of sex, being hit on if desired (colour code in mixed irl aro-spaces?)

17.  Aroaces need a space where they don't have to pick between their aro and ace identities, as well as a space where sex and/or romance repulsed aroaces dont have to deal with romance or sex in any way

18.  Idk, not aro ace but I would say recognition as well

19.  Full disclosure, I've mostly stopped participating in the ace/aro communities of late (though I haven't stopped reading it) because it felt like every time aroaces spoke up, we were brushed aside or shrugged off because we were the "privileged" ones (in both aro and ace circles). That means I'm a bit out of the loop. I identify far more with my aromanticism than my asexuality, but I've definitely been made to feel that I'm somehow a negative influence on both communities because I technically belong to both. I feel bad enough discussing my identity outside of the ace and aro communities, particularly among queer friends - it feels like when I bring up aroace experiences, it's like I've doused the fire of whatever conversation I was in, and I don't feel like replicating that feeling by trying to talk about it on the 'net, too. So, I guess we mostly need acceptance. We need spaces where alloaros can talk about their experiences without feeling bombarded by aroaces, we need spaces where aroaces can talk about our experiences without feeling like we're marauding on allo experiences, and we need places where both sides can talk about our aromanticism as one community. We as aroaces need to do better about determining when to discuss our issues, and making sure we're discussing them within the communities they're relevant to, as well. I have a pretty solid handle on which aspects of my identity are informed by my aromanticism and which are informed by my asexuality, but that's not a universal experience. Plenty of people have issues separating the two, especially when they're missing both sexual AND romantic attraction. It's hard to determine which of those "missing" pieces are supposed to fit where, and it's important to understand and find a place for these people to post, as well. But ultimately there needs to be more acceptance and openess all around. And I have no idea how we can do all of this.

20.  Often aro and ace-ness are inseparable to aroaceness and thus unless something is very specifically about sexual attraction aroaces need to have a sense of flexibility

21.  Honestly, as a greyro-ace myself, I feel like aroaces are sort of the face of the community

What are the community needs of non-SAM aros?

1.  it's all in the name 'non-SAM' for me. that it is assumed everyone has multiple attractions and/or labels themselves by them. it's use rather implies that the words aro or aromantic or aro-spec /don’t/ automatically include us. it's obviously a perspective change needed here, maybe a new term or descriptor as well? i don’t kno really but i hate the specification of — the expected /need to/ specify — non-SAM.

2.  I'm gonna skip the other Qs b/c I don't think I can speak for SAM-using folks. Anyway, as a non-SAM aro I think some of my big things are 1. Recognizing that aromanticism can be its own identity without being split or modified 2. Ending the default assumption that I am ace, identify as ace, and know what the heck ace people need in their communities. 3. Recognizing and respecting aros who don't want or desire QPPs and making it clear that non-QPP friendships and family are not only as good as but can be just as fulfilling as other relationship models. 4. Including non-SAM people as part of our basic and default definitions of asexuality and aromanticism. 5. Making space for discussions of why microlabels don't work for everyone and why the SAM doesn't work for everyone 6. Making an active effort to make aspec spaces more accessible to folks who have just learned about aspec stuff, folks with cognitive and language disabilities, and non-native English speakers. And, like on a broad note, my autism makes it difficult for me to break my identity into tiny pieces. The aspec community's focus on microlabels and the split attraction model, plus the fact that the people participating in discussions often seem to be younger than me and just barely in the process of developing an identity that I've been comfortable in for many years, makes me feel isolated and alienated from the community. When I do participate, the complex and high-entry-level jargon that some members of the community use make it difficult for me to participate in community interactions, which leaves me feeling even more alienated.

3.  again, not speaking over other people, but it's important to recognize that aromanticism is a full identity on its own and doesn't inherently require use of the SAM. breaking down the alloaro/aroace binary

4.  It seems they want to just talk about aromanticism without having people judge which type of aro they are for if their views count etc. They want more than anyone for aces to be better allies when it comes to LGBTQIA arguing where the A doesn't mean Ally and rather asexual that there needs to be room for the queerness of aromanticism in the LGBTQ+ umbrella. They more than anyone will always need aromantic specific everything - recognition, representation, communities, where no one expects you to also be something else

5.  For myself, mostly non binary language and less assumptions that all aros ID with the SAM would be helpful, also acknowlement that non-SAM aros may have differing experiences as a group. This sounds small, and honestly it is, but the unintended consequence of binary language addressing only 'aroaces' and 'aroallos' that I've seen is that spaces can become increasingly polarized between different split attractions and then I've just kind of slipped through the gap in between. It's just my personal experience, of course, but honestly just including this box in the survey is a great start.

6.  In-space focuses and new language.

7.  More awareness

8.  A space where we don't feel the need to express ace/allo identity alongside our aro identity

9.  To not get caught in an alloaro Vs aroace war that they can't pick a side for, is probably one.

10.  We just need ppl to stop kind of adding us in a sentence in their post or say 'not everyone uses the sam' I wish we could have more discussions on why the sam doesn't really work for us or how we're left out from the community as a whole.

11.  Acceptance of just being aro. Aromantic is a whole independent identity despite where it was born.

12.  A space to talk about how the ace community has harmed them or made them feel unwelcome without aroaces or alloaces acting like it is an insult

What are the community needs of greyro/ aro-spec folks?

1.  Understanding that not everyone is completely aro or that their romantic attraction levels change.

2.  providing spaces to talk about experiences with romantic attraction/relationships

3.  I'm in this group. I need to feel like it's ok that aromanticism stay a spectrum and some aros are "more ace" (I'm sex-averse etc) than clearly aro (I might choose to date) and to not feel like people are accusing me of being alloromantic when I don't feel alloro. If people make sweeping statements about aros that don't include me or sweeping statements about alloros that do cover my experiences, it is hurtful and invalidating of my identity. And it even can make me doubt myself which isn't fair after I've spent years figuring myself out. I want a happy community that can get along and not hate aces preemptively before any of the select aces they're talking to did anything wrong. Who can forgive aces who make mistakes but who want to be better allies. I'm an ace and an aro-spec person. I'm an ally to aros who aren't gray but all forms of people being an ally takes some learning curve. Understanding that can go a long way.20 hours agoMore awareness21 hours agomore discussion about our orientations, more material for us in general, people getting a platform to share heir experiences. i feel kind of isolated in the aro community because there isnt a lot thats directed at us and our experiences that are neither really aro nor alloa day ago- a space where romance repulsion and simultaneous lack of thereof is acknowledgeda day agoIdk I'm not on the speca day agoMore content for the smaller identities under the spectrum umbrella would probably be nice, also asexuality being jammed together with aromanticism can be annoying sometimes especially if the post only really has to do with one or the other. Visibility in stories and media and such would also be greata day agoacknowledge that not everyone is strictly ace or allo. Like alloaros, allow us to talk about whether we want romantic partners or how our experiences differ from non grayro aros.a day agoN/aa day agoTheir own voice for their complicated feelings about being on the aromantic spectrum.a day agoNot greyro, likewise not my place to comment.2 days agoThe aro community is actually already pretty good about this, but it's cool that romance still happens for some of us and that out voices are allowed to at the very least be on our own space without criticism.2 days agoUh2 days agoArospecs need to be able to talk about their approach to romance, as it is very often very separate from the way allo people experience romantic attraction2 days agoI think both grey and demi aromanticism and asexuality in general need more recognition 2 days ago

4.  More awareness

5.  more discussion about our orientations, more material for us in general, people getting a platform to share heir experiences. i feel kind of isolated in the aro community because there isnt a lot thats directed at us and our experiences that are neither really aro nor allo

6.  a space where romance repulsion and simultaneous lack of thereof is acknowledged

7.  More content for the smaller identities under the spectrum umbrella would probably be nice, also asexuality being jammed together with aromanticism can be annoying sometimes especially if the post only really has to do with one or the other. Visibility in stories and media and such would also be great

8.  acknowledge that not everyone is strictly ace or allo. Like alloaros, allow us to talk about whether we want romantic partners or how our experiences differ from non grayro aros.

9.  Their own voice for their complicated feelings about being on the aromantic spectrum.

10.  The aro community is actually already pretty good about this, but it's cool that romance still happens for some of us and that out voices are allowed to at the very least be on our own space without criticism.

11.  Arospecs need to be able to talk about their approach to romance, as it is very often very separate from the way allo people experience romantic attraction

12.  I think both grey and demi aromanticism and asexuality in general need more recognition

What are the shared needs of these different subgroups within the aro and arospec community?

1.  what we need across the board is recognition, compassion, and dissemination.

2.  More aro recognition and its own and equal but not completely seperate from ace (for aro aces) community.

3.  To discuss their experiences with the lack of romantic attraction and amatonormativity, amongst other General arospec issues

4.  safe spaces to talk about being aro and all of the ways it intersects with other aspects of our identity; representation and advocacy

5.  Neutral aro-spec spaces where all intersectionality is equally accepted but also not the main topic or qualifier; recognition of a broad range of experiences; recognition of specific language and acknowledgment of their existences; facilitated ability to speak about more specific or 'niche' topics

6.  Recognition in queer spaces and healthy dialogue about language.

7.  i think we all want a platform for our specific topics and we want recognition, but also community

8.  A space where romance repulsion is acknowledged and respected - a space where aro identity is prioritised, no matter what other identities go along with it, if there are any at all

9.  To move forward in our activism to make aromanticism more well known and more accepted in society?? And to have a safe place to go after a day of dealing with amatonormativity and aphobia.

10.  To make ourselves exist outside the definition of asexual

11.  I think all the communities/identities need to recognize that there is a problem. If we unite with each other and have so much love and understanding in the form of unity, I think a lot of these problems will resolve themselves.

12.  Visibility?

13.  make sure we understand each other's experiences and what makes everyone feel included / excluded. We need to make that we sure we own up if we excluded someone, and that we try to fix it.

14.  Visibility is my greatest concern for all aspects of aro and arospec problems.

15.  Aces need to stop speaking for them. Aro-spec and aro people can speak for themselves on their own experiences. Additionally, aroaces need to focus more on the aro identity (whether it's primary or secondary to them) when it involves aro discourse. They can have a focus on their ace identity only with the exception that both identities are heavily tied to each other and both identities are discussed. Again, this is specifically for aro-specific discourse.

16.  Discussion of amatonormativity, experiences with pressure to find partners

17.  A creation of a unified aro space that includes and supports *anybody* identifying as aro or arospec

18.  The validity of aro identities shaping gender identities. I believe I'm nb in large part because of aromanticism.

19.  All four of these groups need visibility and more in person communities

20.  Allo aces need to stop taking over everything is the overarching problem when you think about it, they also need to stop throwing aros under the bus

21.  We ALL need more visibility. We need voices that aren't reliant on the ace community to speak for us as an afterthought, and I say that AS an ace. We need to talk about aromanticism as a whole. And we need to do so proudly and informatively. I've noticed that it's really, really hard to talk about aromanticism without making it sound like I'm demonizing romantic attraction, and that's a dangerous treading ground within the queer community. There's been a lot of negatively portraying queer romantice from outside of the community, and we need to make sure we're not stepping on those land mines, but we do need our voices heard on aromanticism and amatonormativity, too. Also, we need to hold fast to QPRs and squishes (and, imo, aplatonic) and not let those ideas get swept out with the discourse trash. We also need to support both the aros who want and have QPRs, and the aros who want nothing to do with them. I see a lot of support for aros in various forms of non-romantic (and sometimes romantic) relationships, but very little for aros who choose to fly solo, and what that means in a world that expects you to pair up.

22.  I do think we need to be more openly vocal about our separateness from the ace community, though it seems to be tearing aroaces apart at the seams

23.  A space to discuss aromanticism - however people experience it - in a space were others are opening and welcoming. Possibly also older members of the community giving advice to newer members who are struggling to come to terms with their aromanticism in a society so focused on romance

24.  I feel like a lot of aros are frustrated with their experiences being mislabeled as ace experiences, or having the assumption that aro and ace experiences are basically the same

How do we meet all of these needs within an online space?

1.  make sure you aren’t in an echochamber? share/create content for orientations other than your own? be kind? remember that when we're fighting it's kind of over scraps and we deserve better? i'm not sure honestly but i really think a lot of this comes down to perspective. plus remember the block button exists lol. i'm talking about things all on a personal, individual level and i don’t kno how to effect anything otherwise. how about a content creation week where the subject is an orientation other than your own? with emphasis on asking questions to get shit right. it'd be a learning experience that builds community. i can't think of a thing to answer this question on a larger scale ://

2.  We accept that some people see their aro and/or ace identitie/s seperate and some don't. Also that some only have one of these identities. And we spread aro recognition.

3.  Equal education and resources for all parts of the aro spectrum

4.  Cut it out with the pack instinct. Aces and aros snarling at eachother really freaks out aroaces. 

5.  it's impossible to curate a monolithic online space that will meet the needs of every single member of the aro community. what's important is acknowledging your own biases and hearing out the perspectives of others who differ from you, and not generalizing your own experiences/needs/perspectives to the community as a whole. we can create more subgroup-oriented spaces all we want, but at the end of the day we're still part of the same larger aro community and in order for that to work out the best thing we can do is just listen to each other. 

6.  Appropriate tagging has been brought up before, perhaps a reworked umbrella tag system? Again more neutral spaces; appropriate tagging for repulsion and aversion and on the other end acceptance of a variety of topics (i.e. some people will be talking about sex and that's good and healthy, as long as it's tagged there shouldn't be an issue with that); more specific and intersectional spaces; less verbal conflation of ace and aro though I think that's been getting better? Then again a big problem is the aroace split between two communities. I unfortunately do not have any ideas for that 

7.  Provide and Aro-specific online space similar to AVEN. 

8.  trying to give a more equal focus to different subgroups maybe? coming together and caring about those whose experiences are slightly different from ours and giving them a platform too. encouraging diversity 

9.  i'm not sure but it starts by making spaces outside of discourse. blogs like "aro-soulmate-project" are especially important to me because they address not only intra and outside community issues, but because they create aro identity at the same time people interact. 

10.  Idk put everything in the tag it belongs in (aroace content in aro, ace and aroace tags, general aro content in aro aroace and alloaro tags, and alloaro content in aro and alloaro tags, etc) and stop harassing each other. Groups might benefit from ace chat channels and allosexual chat channels? But idk if that's too divisive in some opinions 

11.  Group chats? More posts combining the communities? Spreading the love to everybody everywhere! 

12.  Open discussion 

13.  Since aro communities are extremely small and have been largely ignored-even by the a-spec community-it is up to the a-spec (yes, this includes alloaces) community to be more inclusive when making a-spec positive/information posts while also making more efforts to reblog diverse aro discourse so that aro people get a chance to speak. 

14.  Different tags/ smaller chatrooms. Probably tags people can follow or block 

15.  Better tagging systems, breaking down assumptions and not projecting one's one experience of identity onto everybody else who happens to be aro, creating sub-communities that are specifically suited for a specific subgroup's needs while still being united as the general aro community 

16.  On tumblr, proper tagging of content. 

17.  I think something that would actually help is like an aroace specific forum. We have arocalypse but that seems to be mostly alloaros and I want a forum where I can be aroace and not have to pick sides 

18.  Tag things accordingly 

19.  As I mentioned before, I'm not really involved in community discussions beyond reading about them, but coming up with a standard tagging system seems to be a start. 

20.  Often these needs have been met, though there could be a better job of say tagging 'romance' for repulsed aros and we need to open up space for both romo repulsed and positive to speak at the same time 

21.  I don't know. The internet is too big to manage. I think of the internet as more of many different spaces

How do we meet all of these needs within an in-person space?

1.  Represent everyone, let people speak, let people correct you, aim to make friends, remember that we're all under the A together.

2.  Same as above

3.  Stop generalizing and start being inclusive with language. There’s a big difference.

4.  Listen, if no one ever walks up to me and says "Hey, [name], you're ace right?" just because I told them I was aro and they forgot, I will be happy.

5.  i suppose the same rules apply. listening, providing spaces for subgroups to talk about specific issues, etc.

6.  Similar to previous answer, but spaces advertised as neutral or with multiple groups need to be more explicit in inclusion of a variety of experiences and topics. There are ways to manage this so everyone is in understanding and comfortable, namely just good communication (hence being explicit) and systems of feedback

7.  Queer spaces just need to be informed that the usual a-spec narrative is not the only one. But this will change as people share their experiences.

8.  more aro awareness alongside but also differentiated from ace awareness, and all this coupled with a focus on acceptance rather than identification

9.  A case by case basis? I guess? It'd depend on the scope of the space

10.  Booths at Pride recognizing the lesser known orientations. Doesn’t even have to be booths! Pins, stickers, t-shirts work just fine. Maybe a logo for a-spec, aro-spec, and aroace staying that we are all united.

11.  have info that includes all of us eg. pamphlets don't have the ace flag everywhere and acknowledge that their are aspecs who experience romantic or sexual attraction, and that not everyone uses the sam.

12.  I have only come across one aspec space in-person but it is in the form of a discussion group and everyone is allo ace so I feel extremely unwelcome. I wish there were more resources about aromanticism I could bring to these groups.

13.  For one: language is important. Renaming everything to a-spec meetups/groups instead of ace meetups/groups makes the other identity more welcomed and higher possibilities of growing the community. Again, there are more aces out there than aros at the moment, so it is up to those ace groups to make it more inclusive to all a-spec people. We're a community in this together wheter you feel a certain identity or not. That's what being Queer's all about.

14.  Create an aro-space first... Then events for sub-groups only where they can talk amongst themselves but also community events

15. Have a large variety of arospec spaces to choose from so that everyone can have their needs met

16.  Talk about all aspects, let people voice their experiences and find common ground

17.  I don't participate in in-person communities. Partly because I'm not out to more than just a few friends, and partly because I wouldn't want to go to one and be the stereotypical aroace. I feel both far too representative of both the aro and ace communities, and also not part of either. And thanks to the discourse, I'm not convinced I'd be welcome at a queer meetup at all. In addition, I've already mentioned before that just bringing up my experiences as either an ace or an aro tends to be a conversation-killer. So, I guess it rolls back around to visibility. Making others aware of our existence so that when aro experiences DO come up in in-person conversations, we can avoid the uncomfortable, awkward silences that follow. And I think that can only be done by talking about them.

18.  I'll eat my hat the day that I manage to find a sizable in-person space for aces or aros

How do we reconcile conflicting needs?

1.  I believe this question is far too subjective to each instance that has and will pop up. Which is no help unfortunately.

2.  We accept that sometimes someone needs these needs and someone else needs other needs. Also we ask what people's needs are before we assume their needs.

3.  By talking out our issues civilly and talking about what bothers us so we can accommodate and adapt as needed if needed, and filter out people who just make the community toxic.

4.  Live and let live. Talk it out. Find a solution rather than growing increasingly angry. Literally anything that’s not cocooning away in indignation, we are supposed to be a community.

5.  i don't think our needs actually conflict, for the most part. with the exception of greyro/arospec folks needing space to talk about romance and romance repulsed folks needing to get away from it. but that can be solved by tagging things (at least in the case of online spaces). i think a lot of our perceived conflict comes from the conflation of different issues. for example, giving alloaros room to exist apart from asexuality and giving aroaces room to navigate that awkward space in between aren't inherently mutually exclusive. i recognize that striking that sort of balance is easier said than done, but i think if it were easy we wouldn't be having this discussion at all. we're a diverse population and our needs are ALWAYS going to differ. but we're also always going to overlap in a lot of ways, which is why the aro community exists to begin with.

6.  Imagine you have a spoiled child. You can do everything in your power to give them what they need. Do you think it will be ever enough? Oh, but what's worse, by concentrating on the spoiled child, you completely forgot you have a second one, starving in the corner.

7.  Give each person a choice in the language they use and don't force anyone into an identity/stereotype of aspec experience that doesn't fit. Just listen to people.

8.  By giving space for both and working out compromises or plans of action

9.  Definitely not fuckin argue for weeks and attack one another, discourse only fragments our tiny movement

10.  Set up a time for when allo aro can talk about their experience and the way their identities interact. This lets aroace choose whether they want to come or not. The usual meeting should be a time where any aroace, allo aro, and non-sam using aro can talk about being aro. Or for aros to just meet and interact.

11.  a group discussion where everyone can share their experiences but also safe spaces for aroaces / alloaces / nonsam aros /grayros to talk so ppl can discuss if someone hurt them or made them feel excluded in the group discussion and so they can talk about things that are specific to their smaller communities

12.  Open discussion and properly tagging things

13.  Aro people have been patient. Ace and ace-spec people need to recognize that their exclusive behaviors are mirroring the same horrible mentality that exclusionists in the LGBT+ have. Also recognize that ignoring (or consistently forgetting) the identity is a form of the excluding that identity in regards to posts that are suppose to be a-spec/Queer/LGBTIA+ positive/informative.

14.  Respect and communication, separate spaces when necessary

15.  Creating sub-communities that can prioritize a specific group's needs in that space while not conflicting with the general aro community.

16.  Idk like listen to eachother?

17.  The people who have a problem avoid? Idk

18.  honestly don't know. I absolutely understand the frustrations of alloaros getting ace posts in the aro tags, and I understand the frustrations of aroaces posting their experiences and being told those tags don't belong. I think the ace community as a whole needs to be made aware that the aro tag is not a dumping ground for ace-specific posts, and that if they want to include support and positivity and include the aro tag, then the post needs to INCLUDE US. I think a lot of frustration on all sides right now is that aromanticism comes off as asexuality's afterthought, and I don't think any of us as aros feel that way. I don't think we need a full break from the ace community, and I think we need to stop blaming aroaces when we make relevant posts to the aro tag, since I suspect quite a bit of this issue is from people who legitimately don't realize that aro tags are not the same as ace tags (i.e. ace positivity blogs that post something relevant to ace experiences and think they're being inclusive by "including" aros, because "we're all aspec, just swap out the 'sexual attraction' for 'romantic attraction'!"). But I, as an ace, am of the opinion that the ace community as a whole needs a solid kick in the pants to get them to work with us on cleaning up the tags and acknowledging that aros aren't just aces with a word swap, that we have our own significantly different concerns and ways to navigate the world that aces can't understand. But here's the problem, too. The ace community is one of the larger "aro" voices right now because the aro community is really quiet. Yes, we have our voices, but if you go looking for ace spaces, you find them. You find them in spades. You go looking for aro spaces? You have to dig. You almost have to know what you're looking for before you can find it. I see aros submitting asks on ace blogs, asking where to go to find aro-specific blogs, and there's always only a handful of suggestions. I think a lot of the reason aroaces seem so visible is because we -are- in the ace spaces, talking, and the ace spaces are big. The aromantic community's biggest priority right now is to grow and be heard.

19.  fuck idk tbh the most we can really do is post about it and hope people see and listen

[dkettchen]

BLACK MIRROR S5E1 “STRIKING VIPERS” E X P L A I N E D

-with the help of gender and game theory-

Y’all asked for it so here we go

Some things before we start: -If you were watching the episode looking for gay/trans shit, and got disappointed, I’m sorry but I can’t help you because that’s just not what the episode was about and that is ok. It explored some aspects of queer experience, and the limbo between queer and cis-straight experience, that isn’t usually addressed in such an honest and indepth way, which I think is just as important as trans or gay rep.  -I will focus my analysis on the core theme of what certain academics writing about androgyny call the “moment of transgression” so in this case the question of ‘what is Karl/Roxette’s deal & what does that mean for Danny/Lance’s feelings toward and interactions with them?’. -CW: transphobia, homophobia, toxic masculinity, (rpg) uncanny valley stuff, you get it, you know what subjects we’ll be talking about here. 

Now!

I’d like to start by pointing out the title “Striking Vipers” to get the phallus talk out of the way right off the bat x’D: It’s a very blatant penis metaphor, and Vipers specifically are venomous, so represent toxic masculinity. The image of them striking signals danger. The repetition of phallic symbols represents the threat of castration (see medusa turning them bois to stone & the heroic masculinity of the mirror shielded boi who managed to defeat her), which to phallocentric masculinity is the scawiest thing there is (losing the phallus = losing manhood = death?? I guess??). Striking Vipers means that toxic masculinity, by nature, is a threat to itself. (I could talk for hours about the exact warped logic of phallocentricity but Imma spare y’all cause I don’t think it’s relevant for this, I’d even go as far as saying this episode was anti-phallic (which I use here as a more inclusive word for “feminist”, as the episode’s core is about two guys, but still focused on them experiencing and embracing feminine power and freeing themselves from phallocentricity(/patriarchy)’s grasp, just like “what men want” was preoccupied with the toxic masculinity of its female protagonist)) That sets up the kind of horror the episode will be about, the male fear of castration, of loss of identity, of having to face the fact that traditional masculinity is toxic even to the people who conform to it. 10/10 title choice.

Next up: the core question of what label to put on Karl and Danny’s VR interactions (‘Fellas, is it gay to fuck ur best friend in a lady body in VR?’). Which leads to the first question which is: what gender is Karl when he’s playing as Roxette?  An essentialist might say: ‘Well he’s a man irl so he’s still a man even if he plays with a female avatar. Danny’s attraction to him is either him being trapped or just plain old gay.’ But I don’t think that’s the case. It’s not a trap scenario (have some videos on traps and how they’re not real actually: (x.), (x.)), because both people involved know the exact parameters of the situation. Danny knows this is Karl in Roxette’s body, there’s nothing hidden, no misunderstanding to be had here. I also don’t think it’s gay because if it was this would’ve happened irl or with two male avatars, but it only happened once one of them was in a female avatar, that was the change that made it happen. It’s not a fetishising phallic/trans women scenario either, because it’s the opposite, it’s a man’s mind in a woman’s body. There’s no doubt about Karl being a man irl, a queer man sure, but definetely a man. He’s just too into -womanhood while playing her for me to say he’s still male when he’s in that form, like Karl as Roxette isn’t a trans guy as a man’s mind in a female body usually would be (like f.e. Ranma 1/2), I also don’t think Karl as Roxette is an androgyne/non-binary/third term either, because again, he’s embracing her womanhood and the role that comes with it, to the extreme that is hetero PiV sex, too much. I’d argue what we see is the closest to the liberation and euphoria described by other queer men when doing drag, she’s just a more extreme version of drag, of crossplaying, making the fantasy real, wearing not only the clothes of a woman but the body too. Roxette as Karl’s avatar is an alter ego, who is female, so -on the risk of sounding like the biggest performativist since Judith Butler- Karl as Roxette presents as female, so, for all intents and purposes, is female in that moment, regardless of his irl persona maintaining his male gender outside of that. 

But that wasn’t what we wanted to know, was it. Because even if, in the moment that Karl plays Roxette, we can say that person is female, that doesn’t eliminate the fact that Karl, outside of that, isn’t and that he’s still the one playing her. It’s the notion of how the player/actor/performer and avatar/character/persona aren’t the same thing and can have different relationships with someone in real life vs in the game, and how that can be confusing to think about because there is no clear line between the two, something that is called “bleed” in ludology(/game studies, from lat. ludus: game or school; referring to the gladiator schools in like the colosseum), despite their relationships being fundamentally different (in this case friendship irl vs passionate love in game).  Take TAZ as an example: The McElroys are related, but in playing a trpg, the DM, usually Griffin, takes up the mantle of all NPCs in the game world, including love interests. Griffin played Julia, Kravitz, and Danny (different Danny lol), but he’s talking to his brother, except he isn’t, is he, cause it’s not Griffin talking and it’s not his brother responding, it’s two characters interacting. A similar uncanny valley can be found in actor/character bleed: Take Ludi and Pom (the actors for Lance and Roxette) in this one: like 80% of their screentime was spent making out or having fake sex. These actors aren’t dating (as far as I’m aware lol), this is their job, to fake love each other on screen, imagine having to do that with a coworker you feel nothing for. It’s the characters that feel something and you have to play that feeling (which is so meta at that point, they’re playing characters that are avatars being played by characters in the show). Also, talking of role-playing, can we appreciate the scene of Danny & Theo at the bar where they’re role-playing and she’s like that was hot and he’s like mental note bae’s into role-playing, because DAMN that foreshadowing of the erotic potential of roleplay as a concept.

But it’s not role-playing really either with Danny and Karl, is it? They’re playing in avatars other than themselves but they’re not fully a different person. They still very much feel the same just in a different form. Their emotions are real even though they might only apply to part of their experience, the in-game part. Yet they obviously take them seriously and personal and get influenced by them outside the game. Maybe the question is what is and is not role-playing? Where does the bleed start and end, and do we even need to know the answer to those questions? They answer those questions for themselves in the end by testing out their feelings irl to see if they track or not, fully ready for both possibilities (which 10/10 character development love it). They want clarity. It’s about the emotional limbo fantasy brings with it. It’s the same question “Are traps gay” is about. (Not the “Is it ok to feel attracted to androgynous ppl” one necessarily, but) “Does feeling attracted to the fantasy mean you feel attracted to the “real” thing underneath?” Are the feelings for the fantasy alone or also for the reality? Are they only applicable to the latter and does that change something about what you thought you knew about yourself? It’s a question about the fringe edges of limited/monosexuality and the very fabric of reality. 

Let’s return to Karl to look at his experience as Roxette. We’ve established that she is female, but what is Karl while playing her? In the spirit of queer drag as liberating, it’s almost like he’s taking a break from being Karl when playing as her. Drag, crossplay, or this extreme version of it, functions as a break from the toxicity and limitations of traditional gender roles (so in this case traditional masculinity). It is freeing, though what does it free? Some genderless spirit inhabiting each person? But then how do you explain the firm gender identity lots of people, including for all we know Karl, experience in everyday life? As a trans person I know that there is SOMETHING to gender on some level that can create gender dysphoria (social and/or physical) for people when put in a body they don’t identify with. As a drag performer, trpg enthousiast, and notorious crossplayer, I know that taking a break from that reality and being somebody else can be relieving, a break from your own problems. So what is that part of us that translates into fantasy? I feel like this goes into transhumanist territory which I don’t know enough about to even attempt to provide an answer. I think what it comes down to in terms of gender theory is, this is a situation at the height of where performativism is true and relevant. There is a relativity to the nature of reality and gender itself. Whatever base essence there is that causes gender dysphoria at a mismatch between outside and inside, doesn’t apply here. Both notions (of essential and performative gender) are real and have an impact on people but neither is always the case and neither is never the case. They’re not mutually exclusive. 

So, seeing as it seems impossible to pinpoint what gender Karl/Roxette qualifies as (other than all and/or none), let’s look at the nature of Danny/Lance and Karl/Roxette’s interactions and feelings toward those interactions and each other to try and contextualise what label(s) they might fit under.  The desire on Danny’s side when faced with Roxette’s form shows itself in a way he’d never feel toward Karl. That visual change, and the social changes it brings with it (in gender role), makes it so extreme, because it pairs the parts of his friend he appreciates and enjoys (personality and whatever deeper connection a close friendship brings with it), with a form that is attractive to him. That change translates to Karl too. In playing with this new form that has a different role and a different effect on someone he’s known for so long, he flows into that, melts into this new persona and lives it up! The way they interact in game isn’t gay. It is very much reflecting how straight attraction and female sexuality works. On one hand it’s based in undeniable difference (hetero = different), and on the other hand Karl/Roxette’s enjoyment thereof is based in being desirable, in having that power of seduction just by existing, that notion of feminine power and the freedom that comes with it. It’s not autogynephilia, that would imply he gets off on the idea of himself as a woman, which is not the case, he gets off on being desired as a woman, which is what female sexuality is about (source: ContraPoints’ Autogynephilia video (which I recommend, it’s very good))

Still whenever Karl tries to get Danny to keep having VR sex with him/Roxette, he talks about her in 3rd person, like a persona. In saying “it’s just like porn” he poses something that is very much a different activity (acting out the porn by -doin’ it-) as a homosocially (social as opposed to sexual/romantic) acceptable one (watching porn together which I’ve been told is a thing). He attempts to differentiate himself from his female persona and enjoyment there-of (by objectifying her, like a porn actress to be watched rather than identified with), himself and Danny from the queerness (in enjoying femininity and in Danny being down with basically fucking a drag-queen) and to retreat back into heteronormative traditional masculinity, away from the scawy unknown of exploring your sexuality. His internalised homo- and transphobia makes him suppose that Danny, as a supposed straight guy, will only respond to the safety of assured non-queerness, which, honestly, I don’t think is the case with him. Karl supposes his cancelling on him and not wanting to do it anymore is out of the fear for his sexual identity or whatever, but from what I can tell, while Danny also seems to be rather confused about what it all means, the reasons he cancels their nightly sessions, and rejects Karl/Roxette, are always about not wanting his marriage to fall apart. He quite clearly prefers hot VR sex to hanging out with his wife, and cancels out of duty to her rather than fear. Even the first time they kiss, Karl is the one to freak out first. Danny seems much calmer about the attraction part of the situation, to the point of in the end being the one to take initiative and make them try it out irl to put an end to the confusion.

The episode hits hard because it takes the way men play video games and brings it to its logical conclusion. Video games are mens safe-space, and they do play with that playful flirty banter. The show takes that and makes it real, including taking it to its extreme conclusion that is -doin’ it-. It infiltrates the male safe space by taking normalised behaviour, and taking it so far that it puts traditional masculinity and heteronormative attraction in question, the very thing the safe space was supposed to protect them from. That’s why it’s existentially horrifying for the main characters (and viewers that identify with them) and qualifies as a black mirror episode even without having a homo-/trans-/biphobic ending (like other media that put traditional masculinity in question usually do, not to mention all the horror based in queer-coding) 

Hope y’all enjoyed this journey into a bit of mind-bending game and gender theory! Pls don’t expect me to do this like ever again bc I need to go work on my actual essay rip x’D 

[embar-the-dragon-writer]

Yo Critters!

Want something to pass the time between episodes? Like queer content? How about non-binary superheroes? (haha I see what Sam did there and you will too) Found family? (Obviously. You watch CR.) Robots? Disability rep? Evil corporations trying to takeover the world? Idiots trying to save said world?

May I recommend Calisto 6? Bc I just found it three days ago and I’m already anxious for the next episode! Geek and Sundry has done it again and I love these fucking nerds! (Credit to the artists that drew the badass pictures below)

First we’ve got Anton. He’s born of privilege but his view of the world changes quickly when he starts getting stretchy. His one-liners and blàise attitude about things that happen is hilarious!

Next Hops. Hops was born of privilege as well, in fact her father was best friends with the CEO of said evil corporation. However when her father died, the corporation abandoned her family and her mom sank into the world of VR games leaving her to fend for herself. She’s a badass black belt with electricity powers and her “night job” seems to get shadier with each episode.

Then we have Lacy. Lacy is a non-binary badass wheelchair-bound autistic hacker/engineer. They have two dads who love them and a best friend who’d do anything for them. But their power is hacking and they are able to control robots and drive drop ships with their mind! They are adorable and literally everyone on the team immediately becomes attached to them just like you will. They are played by the fantastic Sam de Leve who are non-binary themself and everyone one the show respects them and encourages them to be themself! (Sam also co-created the game with the GM)

Luma is Lacy’s best friend. She has the ability to turn into anyone she sees and is as utterly devoted to Lacy as Lacy is to her. She can blend into walls and might have a little crush on Cass. She is the mom-friend of the group and makes sure everyone is fed and okay. She’s a fashion designer and a street artist and honestly the sweetest thing in the world.

Oya is a Puerto-Rican (I believe is what they said) spiritual badass. Through prayer (to who isn’t clear, are major religions still a thing in 2119?) and concentration she can manipulate TIME, which I believe is the best superpower ever. She’s best friends with Cass and a VR artist capable of creating entire worlds. Currently she’s trying to figure out why future her is trying to contact her.

Finally there’s Cass. She’s my favorite. If you like Beau or Grog, then you’ll love her. She hates the corporation mumbo-jumbo. She’s not the smartest, but has a heart of gold. Her loyalty to Oya is unwavering and it’s implied that she comes from a broken home and probably spent most of her time growing up at Oya’s house. Her power is literally just strength but her opening move when she gets her power is to (kinda accidentally) throw a dumpster at the guys shooting at them. She’s fantastic and who I wanna be when I grow up.

Last but not least, Eric Campbell is the GM. He is so good at throwing twists at his players but also tends to want things to go their way. He created the game with Sam and they have an adorable back and forth in between scenes. This world they created together is amazing and I’m so grateful to them for creating it.

[gaming]

Women’s History Month Spotlight: Catt Small

Oh, yes! We have another Women’s History Month feature for you. Meet product designer, game developer, programmer, and artist, Catt Small (@letter-q). Catt is an original organizer for the Game Devs of Color Expo that highlights creators of color by showing off their games, creating and building conversation, and signal-boosting their reach. Oh, and—get ready—it’s in NYC this July if you want to attend in person. Want to learn more about Catt and her projects? Read on!

Tell us a little bit about yourself and how you got into the gaming industry.

I consider myself to be a creative technologist—I’m an artist who loves to learn and explore through the lens of code and other technology-centric resources. I started making games around the age of 10, which is when I learned how to build online dress up dolls using a random scripting language called FKiSS. I was gaming long before then, though; my mom and were playing SEGA Genesis games together when I was about 6 years old. I also have wonderful memories of board gaming with my parents. In other words, games have always been around me. They were just another part of my life.

Many people grew up with games, but games weren’t always accessible to build. I failed many times while trying to make more complex games as a teenager, which led to me tabling the subject. I began to try again in college when I stumbled upon other creative technologists at a university in Brooklyn (which I didn’t attend at the time). I contributed my art skills, and they showed me tools like Construct and Game Maker. I started attending games events, met more wonderful people, and the ball kept rolling from there.

Along with your other jobs and projects, you also organize the Game Devs of Color Expo. Can you talk more about that?

I started helping to organize the Game Devs of Color Expo in 2015. People of color have always been in the industry, but often feel marginalized and alone in game development spaces. I wanted to create a space in which game developers of color could feel more normal and, overall, be given the support necessary to thrive.

With much help from an awesome group of game developers and marketing specialists, the Game Devs of Color Expo has grown in scale beyond my wildest dreams. The event is open to all people, but specifically highlights amazing work by people of color. We’ve never had to worry about “lowering the bar,” a common concern I hear from well-meaning people who want their events to be more diverse. In fact, several people we’ve highlighted went on to win awards at larger games events. I’m so proud of what this event has become and am looking forward to the next one this July.

Your coming-of-age narrative game, SweetXheart, was recently released. How does it address race, gender, and microaggressions?

In SweetXheart (pronounced “sweetheart”), players act as Kara, a 19-year-old girl from the Bronx who attends an art college and interns at a tech company. Over five fictional days, players control how Kara deals with situations such as getting dressed, responding to catcallers, and navigating awkward friendship and family dynamics. Kara’s stress level is the core mechanic, and each choice the player makes has an effect. SweetXheart demonstrates the ways in which tiny interactions can make or break someone’s day. Microaggressions, which seem meaningless to all but the recipient, can cause serious emotional damage. Through tiny in-game interactions, players can see the ways in which multiple identities interact to create the anxiety that I (and others like me) manage on a daily basis. I’m proud of the result and the love the game has received—after all, I spent about five years on it!

In what ways can the gaming industry support women and marginalized communities move forward?

I’ve been glad to see the outpouring of support for disadvantaged people over the past several years. However, the support is often verbal. I want to see people receiving more financial support. Whether that be in the form of direct money through hired jobs, game sales, or recommendations for work and speaking engagement, the best way to help is to sponsor people who don’t have the same opportunities.

Even better, give marginalized people as many chances to fail as anyone else. In SweetXheart, Kara gets fired if she’s late to work two times. Her manager says the policy is in place so people understand the gravity of their actions. But unfortunately, this is an example of the stringency applied to certain people yet not others. We deserve as much mercy as anyone else—and the ability to be mediocre.

What projects should we expect next? And how can we support?

I will be making a game for an NYC-based Kickstarter project called WONDERVILLE. The game will be exclusive [to donaters], so please back the project if you’d like to play it! I am donating my time to the project since the company organizing it is a non-profit, but I have a Patreon if anyone out there is in a gifting mood. Funds help me pay other creative people to help me work on projects.

Thanks for the interview, Catt!

Want to see more like this, Tumblr? Stay tuned to @gaming all month long for more interviews with women and non-binary persons in the gaming industry. It’s a whole celebration.

[hollowedrpg]

Hey all! A quick note about our updated application. I’ve finally settled on something I think is a bit more streamlined than our current app. However, because we’ve only got a few days until our next acceptances, I’m going to go ahead and accept either the new or current app on Monday. 

If you’ve already submitted your app, or have been working on it and plan to submit it for our upcoming acceptances, you can use our current app. If you haven’t started an app yet, you should use the new app, which will be below a read more on this post.

After Monday, we will be switching over to the new application, and the old version will not be accepted. So, without further ado, click on the read more to get a look at our new streamlined app. Feel free to let me know if you have any questions!

ooc.

name:

age: (seventeen and up only)

preferred pronouns:

timezone:

activity: (include a brief explanation)

how do you feel about your character dying?: (in a roleplay centered on war, death is always a possibility. as an admin, it’s best to know ahead of time which players are comfortable with playing it out.)

anything else?: (questions, concerns, etc.)

character details.

full name:

date of birth:

former hogwarts house:

sexuality:

gender/pronouns: (would you like to play this character as non-binary or trans? list it here.)

face claim change: (if you’re requesting to change this character’s fc, list three alternatives in order of preference. all alternatives must be approved by the admin.)

more.

i. personality

provide a description of this character’s personality. include two weaknesses & two strengths. ( note: it’s best avoid sentences that begin with phrases like “i plan to portray...” your app will come across much better if you remain in character. )

ii. the story so far

this is your opportunity to delve into the major events that led this character up to this point. you can elaborate on the bio, but should also explore some further development. be sure to include how the war has affected this character, emotionally and otherwise.

iii. present day

elaborate on where this character currently stands. it’s highly suggested to take a look at our timeline and latest plot and world updates to try to fit this character into what’s currently happening in the roleplay. also feel free to elaborate on any relationships this character may have with others.

extra.

here you can list or add any extras you created to get a sense of this character. that can include graphics, writing samples, mock blogs, etc. apps that have extras won’t have an advantage over apps that don’t, although it can help me further understand your grasp of the character.

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #341

“Offender Arrives, The Wicker Man, TLOT's Memories”

-Ringleader has joined the server-

-SexualOffenderman has joined the server-

-Splenderman has joined the server-

[Doc] Frantically throwing on clothes-

[TLOT] Is loafing next to the water on the beach below the castle garden and sits up abruptly-

[Steve] Pops up out of the shallows

[Yaunfen] Sniffing the air while Waffles gives a warning growl-

[Splender] Has entered the server near the castle and waves at those he can see- Hello everybody!

[Yaunfen] perks up with whiskers twitching- Hi Splender!

[TLOT] Waves back as well and Steve is climbing uncertainly up onto the shore- you brought us a guest?

[Splender] - Weeeell

[Offender] Yawns- Due to certain circumstances, brother wants to make sure at least one of us is with Splender

[TLOT] Are you I'll? Or in some supernatural danger?

[Offender] - I suppose you could say that

[Steve] Who would want to hurt Splender? He's one of the nicest people I know

[Ringleader] - Splendy why don't we go find Pinwheel?

[Splender] - Okay!

[Offender] Waits until the other two are out of hearing distance- Our father...

[Yaunfen] Flicking their tail- someone else with a mean dad? Thats not okay.  

[Waffles] Sniffs Offender and gives a tiny kitty style sneeze.

[Offender] - Yeah, it wasn't a problem until they managed to fix the portal between our dimensions

[TLOT] Well he's got a decent place to hide at least.

[Steve] dawning realization- You're Offenderman, right?

[Offender] Grins- Yes

[Yaunfen] I know an offensive word! Fuck!

[TLOT] ho boy

[Offender] Laughs- Good one kid!

[Doc] Comes racing up fixing their coat hurriedly- is there an emergency?!? What's going on?!

[Offender] - Not much, just making sure the baby bro stays safe

[TLOT] His father...

[Doc] Pales - Zalgo?

[Offender] Laughs- Oh fuck no!  That douche is not our father!

[Doc] I thought he was king of demons or something?

[Yaunfen] What's a douche?

[Offender] - He's basically a very old minor god in terms of power, but he's probably only barely stronger than our father, the Wicker Man

[Doc] Wicker? Doesnt that have something to do with furniture? [Steve] Watches two touchies that have crawled out of his skull helm fly lazily around him- a furniture man doesn't sound too scary.   [TLOT] and Yaunfen, douches are for cleaning girl parts. [Yaunfen] Oh yeah! Like mom has. - nod nod-

[Offender] - Think more the shape, the tangle of branches deep in a forest that you can barely see through.  He's so old his tendrils can resemble the deepest and deadliest parts of a forest

[Doc] So a mess.

[Offender] - And deceptive

[TLOT] Somehow I think any untidy branches are going to stick out here. -gestures at the trees nearby- even jungle trees are rather chunky and uniform.

[Offender] - Good point, but his goal wouldn't be to hide here, but to get my brothers and I back home and destroy Splendy

[TLOT] You're all in danger of being kidnapped?

[Offender] - In a sense?  In our world you obey whoever is strongest...  Which is one reason why it was odd for brother to not accept Zalgo's offer for us to live under him...

[TLOT] We prefer a more... democratic approach.

[Doc] Sort of. I mean, I get final say because I pay the bills, but certain people have their own areas or expertise and subjects to rule.

[Yaunfen] Mada is head admin!

[Offender] - Don't know what that means but good for you!  I'm gonna go help Splendy find his little biting fluffball

[Doc] Well before you go... I don't mean to be rude but...  did you... feed before you came in? We're used to accomdating Splender. And Trender and Solace would be equally easy... I'm just concerend. We have a lot of children here and plenty of inhabitants who already have trauma they're trying to work through...

[Offender] - Yeah, I got plenty of fuel last night

[Yaunfen] You eat coal like Crim?

[Doc] Uncomfortable- no... - Hir words have a certain emphasis- Offender, this is my child Yaunfen.

[Offender] - So one of the many Splendy already berated me for on being off limits, gotcha

[Doc] That would be appreciated-

[TLOT] Mentally to Offender - They're young, and as far as we can tell, completely non-binary with no organs of either type.

[Offender] Responds mentally in kind- Hasn't stopped me before, but I'll leave them be since I don't think any of us want a raging Splendy on our hands

[TLOT] Mentally- Or me. I've made a few bad mistakes of my own in the past, and now consent is very important to me.

[Offender] - Welp, I'll be off then!

[Doc] Wait! One more thing. - Xe clicks near him and brings up the display- You're a guest player for now. Just type my name in the chat like this- does some finger motions like on a keyboard- if you need anything or have any questions.

[Offender] - Noted, oh and we brought Ringleader to help keep SPlendy's mind off of what's going on

[Doc] Oh! I'll have to drop by. We had a nice little adventure last time. It'll be good to see her again.

[Offender] - Yup, well, you'll probably find her and my brother around the kids quite a bit

[TLOT] That's normal. The kids really enjoy his company. My Testificates are used to seeing him around the village.

[Offender] Starts walking off- Yeah well I'll probably be stuck baby sitting the biter

[Doc] She's a bit more advanced then you remember. Be nice to her. She's basically Sally's age now and about her level too.

[Offender] - Oh joy

[Yaunfen] Should I find Big Fire mada?

[Doc] Go ahead, I need to check in with your mom. Everything looks like it's holding steady, but I want to add a few things just in case.

[Yaunfen] I'm on it! - Goes trotting off with waffles following at a loping pace.

[Doc] Turns to TLOT- ...

[TLOT] You don't have to ask, I'll keep an eye on him.

[Yaunfen] Runs down the spawn road sniffing around for Cp's brimstone smell-

[Lie] Is walking towards Doc's place with CP following her.  He's still in cat form-

[Yaunfen] Leaps over her in an effortless bunch and bound- HI LIE!

[Waffles] Saunters up more leisurely - mrrrr

[Lie] - Hello Yaunfen, is your Mada home?  I'm trying to find somebody

[Yaunfen] Yep! They're at Castle Thunder! Talking to mom.

[Waffles] Sniffs at Cp-

[CP] Hisses at Waffles-

[Waffles] Show of teeth and pokes Cp with one toe of one huge paw-

[CP] Fury swats-

[Lie] - CP!

[Waffles] Thumps a paw down flat on Cp's head to knock him down-

[Yaunfen] Is circling several blocks away- Lie? Where's Big Fire?

[Lie] - Hm?  Oh, well he's catified and being a bit squished by your cat by the looks of it

[Waflles] Is roughly patting Cp with a playful expression-

[Yaunfen] Waffles!

[CP] Manages to escape and runs over to Lie, doing a butt wiggle to jump up on her shoulder-

[Lie] - Don't you dare

[Yaunfen] Leans down and tangles Cp up in hir whiskers- Hey Big Fire!

[CP] - Growls-

[Yaunfen] Mada said to tell you Offenderperson is here!

[CP] Freezes as does Lie-

[Lie] - I'm sorry Yaunfen...  Could you repeat that?

[Yaunfen] Offender is here? Splender came back too, with someone called Ringleader.

[Lie] - Okay then...  I'm going to go barricade myself in my room for the time being then

[Yaunfen] Be safe Lie! - Looks at Cp who's still slightly tangled-

[CP] Wants to follow Lie and pulls a little-

[Yaunfen] Lie? Does Big Fire need to go with you?

[Lie] - Yes!

[Yaunfen] Puts the cat down-

[CP] Darts off to follow Lie, a fire charge already building in his mouth just in case-

[Pinwheel] Is rather happily laying in a patch of sun in the workroom-

[Karla] Is tinkering curiously with the workroom crafting table.

[Pinwheel] Rolls onto her back with a bit of lip smacking, her tail swishing a little-

[Karla] Glances over with a small smile. - Deadly little dreamer...

[Splender] Teleports into the room, having heard from Alexsezia that Pinwheel was there- PINWHEEL!- He quickly scoops her up and is hugging her

[Pinwheel] Is very much awake now- Splendy no!  No!  No!  No!- Each no is punctuated with a bite

[Karla] Is understandably startled- You probably should not- Oh GODS!

[Splender] Just happily snuggles Pinwheel as she hisses-

[Ringleader] Runs in- Splendy not so fast!

[Karla] Do you need medical attention?! You should put her down!

[Splendy] - Hm?  Oh!  Hello!

[Karla] Composes herself - She's a rather sensitive creature, you shouldn't grab her like that.

[Splender] Laughs a little- Oh don't worry, I do this all the time!

[Pinwheel] - Splendy down!

[Splender] - Oh alright...  What happened to your scales?

[Karla] The little one ran away and got caught in the rain...

[Splender] - Oh Pinwheel...  Why didn't you go home?

[Pinwheel] Huffs-

[Karla] She had a disagreement with her friend Crim. Children get overwhelmed sometimes. It's hard being young.

[Splender] - Yes, I was there when it started, I unfortunately got called away for some business, but I trust she and Crim have made up and that's good

[Ringleader] - Awwww, she's gotten so much bigger the last time I saw you

[Karla] Yes, well enough. I don't believe we've met? I'm Dr. Karla Emmerich. Currently Lie's houseguest.

[Splender] - I'm Splenderman!  And this is my proxie Ringleader!  And this- He turns towards empty space and freezes

[Ringleader] - Yeah this is why I was yelling at you not to go so fast, I have no idea where your brother is

[Karla] Nice to meet you both... Brother?

[Ringleader] - Sexualoffenderman...  Should I go out and look for him sir?

[Splender] A bit ashamed- Yes please

[Karla] With a name like that he sounds like Hell on wheels.

[Ringleader] - Just don't take any roses and you'll be fine

[Karla] Laughs lightly - My playmate is more likely to come with a whip in his teeth and a pleading expression then flowers. Thank you for the warning though.

[Ringleader] Heads out to find Offender-

[Splender] Turns towards Pinwheel- Have you been a good girl while I've been gone?

[Pinwheel] - Don't care

[Karla] She's been calm and happy for the few hours we've spent together.

[Splender] - Wonderful!  Little biting?

[Karla] Just once, but I'm over it.

[Splender] - Oh dear, you didn't hit respawn did you?

[Karla] No, she'd spent her venom on the mobs. It's fine.

[Splender] - Oh dear, still, I'm sorry...

[Offender] Teleports in behind Splendy- There you are, ah, and the biting fuzzball

[Karla] Is this the aformentioned brother? I can see the resemblance in height.

[Splender] - Ah!  Yes!  Offender, this is Karla!  This is my brother Offender!

[Offender] - You can just call me Smexy

[Karla] Chuckles lightly- I like it! And the flasher coat. - She crosses one leg over the other, the light catching the shiny black leather on her feet and hands.

[Offender] His trademark grin spreads across his face- Oh I like her

[Karla] Most men do. Unless they fancy being able to tame me. - She lifts her chin to see him better and her massive chest scar and cleavage are easily visible from above.

[Pinwheel] - Hungry!

[Karla] Endrea left you some bottles. Give me a moment. - She gets up and brushes past Offender to open a trunk and retrieve the bottle of void energy-

[Offender] Lets a couple of his tendrils curl out only to have Pinwheel bite them- Ow!  Stop that fang face!

[Karla] How interesting... - She brings Pinwheel the bottle and tips it so she can drink from it.

[Pinwheel] Lets go of Offender to eat-

[Offender] - Yeah, slender beings like my little bro here and I all have tendrils

[Karla] I believe I've met your... oldest brother? Cp and I had a bit of fun, and he was kind enough to clean up after our mayhem. - across the room the Wunderwaffe seems to wake up and makes a few small happy electrical noises from the bed it's resting on.

[Offender] Chuckles again- Oh yah, that.  He griped a little bit, but that was more for show than anything else, he was almost playful when he got back

[Karla] That's an amusing thought in and of itself... - she tips the bottle a bit more, it's nearly empty. -Good Pinwheel. Get big and strong.

[Splender] - Doc said I could possibly ride her when she's full grown!

[Pinwheel] - No

[Karla] Diplomatically- I think that will take a lot more good parenting and patience. A young lady of such caliber doesn't let just... anyone ride her.

-Up in the main room the doors can be heard opening and closing-

[Lie] - Anyone home?

[Karla] Lie! You have company.

[Lie] Comes down into the workroom with CP following- Splender!  Glad to see you again!- She then notices Offender and stiffens

[CP] Begins growling at Offender-

[Karla] Now then Cp, we were just having a nice chat. Why so angry?

[Splender] - CP, you know Offender won't touch you or your mate, he knows how strong that bond is

[Offender] - Besides, your ass is too tiny right now to do anything too

[Karla] Off-handedly- Such things are easily adjusted, but it's innapropriate either way.

[Offender] - Oh I can adjust to fit just about anything, however...- He sniffs the air and turns towards Lie- Oh that smells delicious...  You're pregnant little lady...

[Karla] Indeed. She's the talk of the village. As far as we know, two Herobrines having a child is unprecidented.

[Lie] Is bright red-

[CP] Knowing Offender can hear him- Fuck off!

[Pinwheel] Finishes eating and licks her lips- I go find Cri now

[Karla] Are you sure Pinwheel? I could just try calling over the... chat? And see if anyone has seen him.

[Pinwheel] - Mmmmmmmm

[Karla] I think that might almost be a yes- She types a little and then waits for the words to come back-

[Buff] Over chat- I saw him out in the desert by the shrine miss. Only a little while ago.

[Karla] See? That was easy enough.

[Pinwheel] Takes off running-

[Splender] - Ah!  Pinwheel that was rude!

[Karla] She's just eagar to play with her friend some more. Her first friend. I wonder if I might be her second with time?

[Splender] Excitedly- Oh I hope so!

[Offender] - Calm down bro, your getting ahead of yourself again

[Lie] - I...  I think I'm going to go start on dinner...

[CP] Concerned mew-

[Splender] - Oh!  We should leave you to that then, don't want to be rude...

[Offender] - I like food

[Splender] - Come on, let's go brother, we'll get some food from Doc!- He starts pushing his brother out the door

[Karla] Watches them go with a little wave- Nice meeting you both.

[Lie] Lets out a very shaky breath and her body starts trembling a little-

[Karla] I take it 'smexy's' given name is not merely for show? You seem very upset Lie.

[Lie] - There...  There's some history...- She turns and removes her collar, her now very naked husband pulling her in close and smoothing her hair

[CP] - Shhh, it's alright...  I won't let him do anything

[Karla] Shamelessly takes a look at Cp's equiptment and makes the faintest snort before smiling.

[CP] Snarls at Karla a little-

[Lie] - I just...  He was in our home

[Karla] No shame Cp, it's a generous peg for what I imagine is a small square hole that's usually happy to invite it in. And he seemed well-contained by his more amiable sibling.

[CP] - He's lazy, that's what, but he terrifies Lie, and for good reason...

[Karla] I'm guessing he prefers his sexual partners to be random and unwilling?

[CP] - He doesn't care what they are, willing or unwilling, old or young, human or not

[Karla] Hence the name. Anyone would have every right to be terrified.

[CP] Glances down at Lie, as if asking her permission and she nods a little- He never actually attacked her, but she witnessed him taking a victim, we think that may be what led Insanity to choosing her as a suitable mate...

[Karla] That explains a lot, you're decently well matched but it still seemed a random choice for something fated.

[CP] Shrugs a little as Lies shaking starts to die down- Either way, she's mine

[Karla] And you are her's. I think that's just as important. From everything I've heard she's been quite a good influence on you.

[CP] - Whatever, I need to get dressed, Lie, are you okay now?

[Lie] - Yeah, I should be fine now...

[CP] Nods and teleports to their room to get dressed-

[Steve] Is whistling cheerfully as he makes steaks in a furnace by the water-

[TLOT] Is making a fish stew on top of the same furnace - I could use maybe... Two more?

-There's a commotion in the water as the golden dragon breaches and goes chasing after a fish-

[Yaunfen] is doing a little dance for Deerheart. Xe has a sprig of smoke berries in one hand and is trailing the particle effects everywhere.

[Deer] Smiles happily and is encouraging Yaunfen-

[Splender] Is approaching with Offender and Ringleader-

[TLOT] Signals to Doc-

[Doc] Surfaces with a fish in hir mouth and makes for the shore with just the top of hir head and mane showing.

[Yaunfen] Does a couple of graceful leaps and then stumbles a bit, breaking a rough stone block to nothing with their feet- whoops!

[Splender] - Are you okay Yaunfen?

[Deer] Goes to help Yaunfen up

[Yaunfen] Yeah- the smoke berries fell on the ground and some of them squished, making a bit of ground fog- two feet are just harder then four. Pfft!

[Splender] Laughs- This is true!

[Doc] Rises up like a sea monster from the water and tosses TLOT the fish- did you find Pinwheel?

[Splender] - Oh yes! She was at Lies place!

[Ringleader] Looking at Yaunfen- Awww, you've grown so much too!

[Yaunfen] Blinks at her for a moment- I know you... I think? - tiny tail swish-

[Doc] You were pretty little when you met her. This is Ringleader, Splender's proxy.

[Ringleader] - You had just learned how to say Mada when I last saw you

[Yaunfen] Really?

[Doc] Leans down and gives them a little bump with hir snoot- You were super cute then and you still are.

[Yaunfen] Yee! Mada. - smiles-

[Steve] Foods done. Anybody hungry?

[Offender] - Oh hell yes!

[Steve] Looks slightly unnerved by Offender but gamely starts passing out steak and warm bread and bowls of fish chowder.

[Doc] Shifts down to join them. It's a lovely day and a few touchies are buzzing lazily in the garden.

[Offender] Takes the food offered and swallows it in one go-

[Splender] - Of thank you Steve

[Yaunfen] Pulls out a full block of end sponge cake and starts nomming happily-

[Steve] shaky- There's more....

[TLOT] Passes a roast chicken and a baked potato from his inventory to Offender. His expression changes slightly as he brushes the Slenders hand-

[Offender] - Cool

[Splender] - Brother, don't eat all of their food!

[Doc] It's okay Splender, I can access creative easily. So we've always got plenty of basic meat and vegetable stuff.

[TLOT] Tilts his head slightly before addressing Offender- Your mind is quiet.

[Splender] - Yes, but you've seen my innards, his are the same

[Offender] - My mind is what?

[TLOT] It's quiet, clear almost. When Cp punched Lj and he retreated into his box, who found it?

[Doc] Is listening intently because of TLOT's tone-

[Offender] - I did, why?

[TLOT] You touched it, didn't you?

[Steve] You mean he's...?

[Offender] - Well yeah, how else was I supposed to get his box home

[Ringleader] - I'm confused...

[TLOT] Yes. He's clean.

[Doc] Okay, I feel about 1000% better hearing that.

[Yaunfen] You don't have the crazy lady!

[Steve] Wow!

[TLOT] Your Insanity was purged the moment you touched it. I understand that Slender beings aren't as controlled by her as normal creepypastas, but it still makes a difference.

[Offender] - Eh, never heard from her much anyways

[Doc] Well if someone has godlike powers it's always good to know they won't suddenly go bananas because someone looked at them funny. I adopted a dragon form partly because I wanted one and partly because I needed to be big in order to subdue Cp whenever he got out of hand. I spent a lot of time with him actively on fire in my coils while I tried to talk him down.

[Offender] Laughs at the mental image-

[Doc] Had to sit on him a few times too. And thankfully TLOT can use his powers to pin people in place.

[Offender] - Eh, everyone has their tricks

[Steve] Glances at his feet and smiles very slightly-

[Yaunfen] I can be heavy! Mama and I have been practicing. - so proud-

[Doc] Heavy?

[Deer] Sputters- Yaunfen! That was going to be a surprise!

[Yaunfen] But I can kinda do it! ... Sorry mama.

[Doc] What's this all about?

[Deer] Sighs- We've been practicing Yaunfen's powers on the candy seed and were going to surprise you with them once they got good

[Yaunfen] I can be stubborn as fuck! Just like Big Fire!

[Doc] Why does that worry me?

[Splender] - Yaunfen, that's not a nice word

[Doc] But it was one of the first they learned. So it's okay.

[Splender] - If you say so...

[Yaunfen] Moves a little bit away and shapeshifts back to a dragon. They're decently large and pad over to Splender- Try and move me! I'm like bedrock!

[Splender] - Okay!- He stands and proceeds to try and lift Yaunfen

[Yaunfen] Streches a little in the middle like a sleepy cat but the feet stay firmly on the ground. - That tickles!

[Offender] Grins a little, a tendril slinking along the ground-

[Splender] Keeps trying-

[Yaunfen] Is being shoved around a little but not moved. The dirt under them is looking a bit crumbly. - hehehe!

[Offender] Suddenly tickled both Yaunfen and Splender-

[Splender] Shrieks in laughter and let's go of Yaunfen- Brother!

[Yaunfen] Goes suddenly down so they're standing with one foot each in a one block hole- whoops! That's cheating! HEHEHHEHE!

[Offender] - Nah, it's called having fun kid

[Yaunfen] Uses their tail tip to tickle Offenders ribs- Sneaky!

[Offender] Retaliated with more tendrils-

[Yaunfen] Rolls over laughing-

[TLOT] Well at least they're playing nice.

[Ringleader] - Yeah, all of them get subdued around Splender

[Steve] He is a really nice guy.

[TLOT] Good neighbor too. - glances in the direction of Mb's house.

[Ringleader] - Is everything alright?

[TLOT] Eh, just a brine with an attitude. He was given to us to save him from being deleted. MasterHerobrine. He's been quieter since we gave him a dragon to raise but he still likes to fight. Reminds me of Cp now and again.

[Ringleader] - I see...

[Splender] Finally gets enough tendrils out to tickle Offender back-

[Yaunfen] Is pouncing and playing and acidently drops a tablet from their inventory.

[Ringleader] - Hm? What's this?- She picks up the tablet

[Doc] Is too fixated on Yaunfen playing to notice.

[TLOT] Looks at her- that? It looks like a painting maybe? Try putting it on a flat surface.

[Ringleader] Looks around before approaching the wall of the castle and pressing the tablet there-

-The image springs up. It's a healed zombie pig woman. She's lovely and dressed like a tribal princess. Behind her are images of dinosaurs. She seems to be almost pleading, reaching out with one hand from the picture. -

[TLOT] Goes absolutely white and still - I... remember... Zaya... oh gods...

[Steve] Runs to him- what is it???

[Yaunfen] Stops playing - oh no! TLOT?

[Doc] Comes to look as well- What's wrong???

[TLOT] Starts to cry and wipes his tears on his cloak edge-

[Steve] I don't understand.. OH GODS. - He's seeing the memory in TLOT's mind-

[TLOT] How could I forget...?

[Splender] He and Offender stop playing- No, don't cry, sadness doesn't taste good...

[Yaunfen] Don't cry TLOT.

[Doc] What happened? Who is she?

[TLOT] I... need to sit down... - He takes a few steps away and flops on a stair block, shaking his head-

[Steve] Is still reeling-

[Doc] Dammit, of all the times not to have some of Lie's flowers.

[Splender] - I could go get some

[Yaunfen] Scrabbles at the picture, taking it down and putting it away. -I'm sorry!

[Doc] If you want, it might help-

[Splender] Teleports away-

[Ringleader] - No, I'm sorry, I put it up...

[Deer] - TLOT, what's wrong?

[TLOT] It's so vivid... At least parts of it. She was.. someone important? My NOTCH... Revenge, he destroyed her in front of me...

[Steve] Yaunfen! Where did you get that?

[Yaunfen] I found it! I sifted it out of gravel! And fixed it with the anal-lyser.

[Doc] Where did the gravel come from?

[Yaunfen] Notch gave it to me.

[Doc] You mean Markus, right?

[Yaunfen] Uh-huh!

[Doc] How in the world...?

[Deer] - The leak... The mods from TLOT's seed are leaking into the others...

[Doc] So... we have artifacts now?

[Deer] - Maybe?

[TLOT] Mutters- There was a man there too... with a face like a.. wolf?

[CP] Teleports in with Lie-

[Lie] - TLOT?

[Yaunfen] I've found all kinds of stuff....

[TLOT] Is still shaken and teary-

[Steve] He suddenly remembered part of something terrible our NOTCH did....

[Lie] Nods in understanding before spawning calming blossoms-

[TLOT] Makes eye contact with Cp, and in that moment he also sees the memory. The woman standing firm and defiant despite being weaponless and being suddenly cut down by the misty form of TLOT's NOTCH. Her screams are terrible and his overwhelming fear and anger in that moment is sour and consuming.

[CP] Growls, the memory reminding him off what happened to his mobs-

[TLOT] Swallows hard. Reaching down to tangle his fingers in Lie's calming flowers-

[Steve] Wraps his arms around his husband as if to protect him-

[Doc] His NOTCH has such a long shadow... even dead...

[Lie] - Then we simply need to be brighter

[Doc] Adds hir arms to the hug- It's okay... it's over.

[TLOT] I need to know. Somehow... what happened... This hole in my mind is maddening sometimes.

[Yaunfen] Slinks over, laying their snout against his shoe-

[Splender] Teleported back and gives a burst of happy energy-

[TLOT] Lets it roll over him like cool water, and sighs, calming down.

[TLOT] Thank you... Sorry to bring everyone down. And Yaunfen, I'm not mad, but you need to let me know if you find anything else.

[Doc] Burst of guilt and a guarded expression-

[Lie] - It's okay, that's what we're here for- She's a bit nervous being so close to Offender

[Doc] Moves back a little-

[Deer] - Doc?

[Doc] Yes?

[Yaunfen] Also looks guilty

[CP] - The fuck is wrong with you?

[TLOT] Looks at them as well with narrowed eyes- What do you have?

[Doc] It's nothing!

[CP] - Doc you are surrounded by psychics

[Doc] quiet- fuck...

[Yaunfen] Mada cussed.

[CP] - Is there something you want to share?

[Doc] Not really?

[CP] Teleports behind Doc and grabs them- What is it?

[Lie] - CP...

[Doc] YIKES! Not so hard!

[TLOT] Doc what. do. you. have?

[Doc] Eh... I kinda.. found a tablet too....

[CP] - Show us

[TLOT] resigned- Let me see it.

[Doc] Fine... you won't like it though. - Xe pulls out the tablet and holds it out as much as xe can for TLOT to take.

[TLOT] He puts it against the castle wall and gasps-

-The painting is much bigger and shows a silhouette with glowing eyes and the shape of his own helm standing small at the apex of a giant pile of human bones and corpses. Behind him is the shadowy form of his NOTCH looming menacingly with his titanic head in the clouds. -

[CP] - Shit...

[TLOT] I....

[Doc] I hid it because I didn't want you to be upset...

[Steve] All my brothers...

[Lie] - Oh TLOT...

[TLOT] So quietly- I just.. didn't want to be alone...

[Yaunfen] But you didn't hurt them! It's not your fault!

[Doc] We understand TLOT... Loneliness can drive one mad... Mine almost killed me.

[CP]  - We've all been there

[TLOT] Its the not knowing that makes it even worse...

[Lie] - But at least you can remember.  It may take time, but I'm certain you will

[Doc] if the evidence exists maybe we should be looking for it? Cp... Where is all the dirt you removed to make the cage? If it's boxed it would likely have been sitting at ground zero of the leak for quite some time.

[CP] - I don't remember

[Lie] - Wouldn't the block under the seed be ground zero?  It's been in direct contact with the seed for a longer amount of time

[Doc] Yes... But sifting destroys the blocks. I was trying not to use anything that would be missed. I didn't want to tear up the floor in Cps build either. And speaking of Cp, can you put me down please?

[CP] Drops Doc- I can look for the blocks...

[Lie] - But I may have used them to fill in places...

[Doc] ow... That would be helpful.  I Don't want to make a giant hole someplace taking too many blocks away.

[Lie] - If there are still any they would be in my store room

[Yaunfen] We're gonna sift stuff? That's a good way to find treasures!

[Lie] - We could head over now?

[Doc] TLOT? Are you going to be okay?

[TLOT] I'll live. I'm going to stay here though.

[Steve] Me too.

[CP] Goes to pick Lie up again-

[Doc] Deerheart my love? It looks like we're going to go play in the dirt for a bit. Wish us luck.

[Deer] - Good luck

[Doc] checks on Offender and Ringleader and Splender- Splender? Are you okay? Maybe show Offender around the seed a bit?

[Splender] - Sure!

[Doc] Take him to the library for sure. I think he'd get a kick out of the second floor in particular...

[Splender] - Second floor?

[Ringleader] - Come on Splendy, let's go

[Yaunfen] That's where all the books for tall people are!

[Steve] They mean adults...

[Yaunfen] That's what I said! Tall people. And Splender is a super adult because he's so tall.

[Splender] - Awwww, You are so adorable Yaunfen

[Doc] What about Gk? Hes old but short.

[Yaunfen] grimaces-I've seen him eat a booger. He's not an adult.

[Offender] - What about me?  I'm shorter then Splendy

[Yaunfen] Gives him a calculating look- mmmm tall enough.

[Splender] Laughs-

[CP] Just starts walking off with Lie-

[partytokenhuman]

Allsoul

So I’ve started up a role playing game, and one of the most fun parts is populating the world with all the non-player characters. (There are lots of other fun parts too.) And I’m trying to have a bit more fun with them, by which I mean make them a bit more diverse. What’s the point of a scifi setting if you fill it with straight white men? 

Like don’t get me wrong, my first NPC was a redneckish sort, but it was a redneck with an Indian last name and a Southern accent organising a gay wedding. You just get more interesting characters if you think “why would this person be male? Or white? Or young? (The characters are in the middle of an arc where one of the ... NPCs let’s say... is a 60+ year old female university lecturer named Chandra.)

And in my latest session I had one of the characters be non-binary. Because why wouldn’t there be one. They’re a movie star, married to a shipping magnate, with a kid. And then. Over and over again. I misgendered the character that I invented. I kept accidentally using ‘he’. Why? In my mind they were agender, and in for a wealthy person in a high-tech world that would mean they’d look any way that would suit their gender identity. Maybe it was because they were married to a woman? Maybe because the name was a bit more masculine? 

Anyway. to help me solidify this person in my mind and to do my darndest to keep them set in my head, here’s a short write up of them. 

Jan Muller - Bollymede’s Allsoul

Why are movies still popular, centuries after their creation? Videos themselves sure. Stories, we get that. But a kid can spit out a compelling hour video indistinguishable from filmed footage with some free software at one end, and you can head downtown and get an adventure tailor-made for you by scraping your social media, and for an added fee have the room pumped full of synthesisers so that you can’t tell it from reality and it feels like three days at the other. How does Bollymede stay not just afloat, but culturally dominant?

“I feel like it boils down to connectivity,” says Jan Muller. This is their seventh interview this morning as they are promoting We Can’t Stop Here ahead of Grover voting. “Humans have a longing to be connected, and knowing that people made what you’re seeing, that it’s human thoughts, human direction, human acting, all of this helps people feel connected to a bigger picture within our society.”

Connectivity certainly plays a role, but not with writer or directors. The last human face of movies is the actors themselves, and that drives sales. In surveys, 80% of moviegoers say they choose to attend a movie based on the star that’s in it, and 90% of those could give no other reason. And while movies are profitable, so much of the money comes from secondary merchandise. Home simulations of stars make much of the revenue, and you can purchase an official Bossfight Studios simulation of Muller doing, well, whatever you want.

“I did speak to my wife about that,” Muller laughs. “She was baffled why I’d care given it would mean more income.”

So if the personality is the sales pitch, then selecting the people is crucial. Stars have little private life. Everything about their history and all their actions is watched carefully by studios.

Jan Muller, however, seems to be so perfect for current zeitgeist that you’ll find plenty of people asserting they must have faked it. Born into a large family in the small town of Naiad, Ganymede North, Muller can pinpoint the very movie that made them want to be an actor at the age of six - Take it to the House starring Frank D’Angelo. Jan got their older brother to direct and edit small films, in which an adorable child-Muller mixes House with nursery rhyme characters.

Muller moved to Zeus at age 16, shortly after announcing they were agender. The first two years offered little success but their breakthrough came when their brother dug up the now twelve year old videos and pushed for them to go viral. With this little bit of attention, they landed a minor role in Seventeen’s Company. When it emerged (that is, publicised by Bossfight) that Muller had spend the salary on bodymods to feel more comfortable with their gender identity, the masses fell in love. 

But the massive breakthrough came during the filming of Free Range. Muller’s mother became severely ill. By all accounts, Muller fought with the studio to halt filming and be by their mother’s side. Muller won the fight, and in doing so melted hearts of audiences. Despite the fact that over 30% of Free Range features a double standing in for Muller, it was the biggest hit of the year. 

“I’m still in contact with my double,” says Jan. “They were a fan who’d gotten the full works to look just like me, and that’s not cheap. But my wife keeps a scanner nearby. If I’m acting weird, she’ll joking gesture to it to detect my Bossfight lotchip."

One fansite reports 13 people in the Jovian system have worked to look like Muller to a greater or lesser extent. More famous stars have even more. But if a film is built on a connection to the stars, and the stars might have had a double do the work, then wouldn’t the whole premise collapse?

“Why would I want to pass up the chance to act? It was painful to watch my double take my place.”

And adding to the upbringing, the origin story, the family, love, Muller married shipping magnate Tamara Chowdry three years ago and now have an eighteen month old. “They’re my life. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to either of them.” In short, you couldn’t write a more beloved star. 

But the public’s attention doesn’t last. The sex scandal has hurt preliminary voting for the Best Actor Grover. The public love romance, sex, and the like, but have little tolerance for oath breaking. The Chowdry-Muller marriage is known to be monogamous, and so insinuations of breaking that oath would tarnish their image of a devoted partner. Muller’s usually flowing prose becomes brief and direct and their expression is noticeably rougher. 

“I love my wife. She’s all I need. Her and I both wanted monogamy and neither of us would break that without the other’s consent. We’ve hired people to look into the source of the rumours.”

With only ten days left in the Grovers voting, it’s clear that the scandal is hurting them. Many are holding it up as proof that Muller can’t possibly be as perfect as it has seemed. The higher you are, the harder you fall. 

[tacticalchokehold]

About Havenfall is for Lovers and how far we’ve come

I’ve been playing these games since I stumbled across Asotria: Fate’s Kiss. Medusa was immediately what caught my eyes. Cyprin’s route hadn’t been released yet but I still found it really cool they were included as an important, prominent figure and non-binary. 

I’m not gonna lie, trying to find content for afk on tumblr made me a little sad at first? Cuz there wasn’t much that included Medusa or Cyprin. I did find some though, and I was super happy to be a part of such a little fandom.

And seeing that fandom grow? Seeing the voltage games get condensed into one app, seeing more titles being released and giving me more opportunities to play a wlw as a wlw, seeing more and more effort being put in to diversify and include more differences, and seeing it get more and more popular...

It means so much to me. 

It really hit me when Mackenzie Hunt’s pilot was released. She was what I saw the most of. People posting screenshots, making text posts, saying how much they love her and adore her and how happy her character makes them. I feel a huge sense of pride in having been allowed to be a part of the process as a player. And it is SO EXCITING to see so many posts on here loving a launch butch wlw woc. 

Medusa, Serena, Altea, Aurora, Madison, Sofia, and now Nova and Mac, they all mean so much to me and I can’t thank the writers and producers and developers and the entire team for all their hard work, and I’m sure you’re all just as excited as I am about seeing so many fans engaging online!

I remember two years ago following @xekstrin for RWBY stuff, who got me curious about Astoria Fate’s kiss by posting about it, who then directed me towards @theivorytowercrumbles and @sailorscooby and I still follow them all to this day! These games mean so much to me.

[chasandres]

Creating a Better Magic Community

Like many of you, I was shocked and horrified on Saturday when I learned that Christine Sprankle decided to step away from the community due to repeated and targeted harassment from Jeremy of MTG Headquarters/Unsleeved Media as well as continued harassment from other toxic members of the community.

I was shocked, but I wasn’t surprised. Talk to enough women in the Magic community and stories about harassment inevitably crop up. It’s not so much an open secret as a low-grade headache that can turn malignant.

Regardless, I was thrilled to see the community almost entirely united in its support for Christine. On Tuesday, a large group of pros responded to the situation by writing an open letter condemning MTG Headquarters’ actions and pledging to act as allies and advocates for victims of harassment at future events. I’m proud to be part of a community where so many high profile people are taking active steps to ameliorate this situation.

There isn’t much I can add to this specific situation at this point. I’m not here to write more about why Jeremy needs to be banned from YouTube and WotC sanctioned events—other people are doing that already, and they know more about this situation than me. I suspect that this particular dragon will eventually be slain, most people will consider the matter resolved, and we’ll seek to move beyond this dark chapter in our game’s long history.

But MTG Headquarters has more than THIRTEEN THOUSAND followers on Twitter. Unsleeved Media has A HUNDRED AND FORTY FOUR THOUSAND SUBSCRIBERS. Not all of them supported his overt harassment campaign, but overt harassment is only one part of a larger, systemic problem in the Magic community. Taking down an obvious villain is commendable, but if that’s all we do, than we’ve failed to properly learn from this situation. If we truly want to create a more inclusive community, we all have some work to do.

Before getting into the meat of this thing, I want to be very clear about who I am and why I’m writing this. I’m not here to tell stories of harassment or otherwise step on the voices of the community members who fight those battles on a daily basis. Those aren’t my stories to tell. I’ve already heard similar stories to Christine’s pop up on social media over the past few days, and it’s important that we magnify those voices and believe them.

As a heterosexual white man in a position of relative power, (at least in terms of being someone that the greater Magic community has more or less heard of) I’d like to use some of my power for good. We can’t place the burden of action entirely on the victims of harassment—we all have to step up and take some of it on ourselves. This is my best effort to help in any way that I can.

While the open letter pros are doing a commendable job of keeping the watch at large events, this is an issue that starts at the roots—at FNM, in our living room, on Magic Online. We can’t just leave things up to Brad Nelson and Sam Black—we all need to step up.

To that end, I’ve written a lot of this post in second person, using a lot of “you” and “we.” I feel like it’s important to say straight off that the “you” I have in mind are people who look more or less like me. I’m not trying to lecture marginalized members of the Magic community about an issue that they already understand all too well. This is a message for geeky white guys like me.

If you scroll down any Reddit thread about this issue, or you check the mentions on the right Twitter account, or you read the right Facebook page, you’re going to see more than just solidarity. You’re going to see a lot of confusion, and bitterness, and outright hostility over this situation. Some guys are a little bit ambivalent about what the heck our role is in all of this and how we can help. Others feel attacked and feel like “both sides” should be considered. Still others are unconvinced that there’s a problem at all.

I’ve been around the internet long enough to know that my message is going to fall on a whole lot of deaf ears, but I want to do my best to try and reach everybody I can. At the very least, I want to write this post to remind myself what I can do to help. When I say that we’re all somewhat complicit, I’m including myself. We all have to do better. All of us.

“I haven’t sent any harassing DMs or made any horrible comments on anybody’s videos or articles. Why are you putting me on blast?”

The harassment problem in the Magic community is systemic and multi-layered. I can count at least three different problems, and you don’t have to be actively harassing anyone to be involved with two of them:

1) Active, toxic harassers. These are the people doing the worst, most heinous stuff. These are people who troll women in comments sections, spout racist and anti-Semitic comments at tournaments, and worse. Most of recognize that we shouldn’t be these people.

2) Enablers, both active and passive. The problem is that most of us are guilty of enabling those harassers at one point or another.

Sometimes we downplay it. (“He’s harmless. He’s got a good heart. He’s just a little awkward.”)

Sometimes we justify it. (“We wouldn’t be able to get a draft going every week without him.”)

Sometimes we straight-up defend it. (“He shouldn’t have said that, but do you have to be so sensitive?”)

3) People saying or doing hurtful stuff that they didn’t think about very much. You could also call these microaggressions, but I know that some of you are put off by the language of social justice, so I want to spell out this problem as clearly as possible. The point is that there are lots of phrases, gestures, and actions that (either inadvertently or on purpose) create a barrier between the dominant voices in the community and those who feel like outsiders. You might not sense it, but they do.

These smaller offenses can be tough to pin down, but the only way to do it is by listening to the people who are affected by these actions, believing their stories, and changing our behavior accordingly.

For example, talk to almost any woman who has ever played a game of tournament Magic and she’ll tell you a dozen stories about being disrespected at Magic tournaments due to her gender. It’s usually not as simple as someone walking up to her and saying, “you’re a woman, stop playing Magic” – it’s hearing stuff like, “did your boyfriend teach you to play?” and “I thought you’d be easier to beat!” over, and over, and over again.

If you’re a white guy like me who has never experienced this, try to imagine how disheartening this must feel, especially on days when you’re running bad and your deck just isn’t behaving. A lot of us play Magic because we like to experiencing that feeling of mastery, especially when the rest of life isn’t going so hot. Now imagine a wry smirk of recognition on the face of your opponent when he beats you because of a lucky top deck. I knew I’d beat the girl. This match was never in doubt. Would Magic still feel like an escape for you? Are you sure?

“I’ve been a member of the Magic community for years, and I don’t see why I should have to hide who I am or censor myself! This is my home, and I should feel safe to communicate however I want.”

I can’t convince anyone that empathy is important. If you don’t believe that it’s worth making small sacrifices or accommodations in order to make another person feel safe or comfortable, that’s on you.

For the rest of us…well, these requests are so small, and they mean so much. Nobody’s asking you give away your Scarab Gods, stop attending FNM, or only talk on alternate Thursdays. It’s basic stuff like not using “gay” as a slur and leaving your half-naked Anime girl playmat at home. You’re not being asked to hide major parts of your identity, and you don’t have to “hide who you are.” You just have to stop acting like an abrasive jerk and maybe stop using a couple of problematic words.

In return, the payoff is massive. We’re always talking about how Magic’s player base isn’t growing like it used to. Well, I know at least a dozen women who stepped away from the community because they didn’t feel welcome. Imagine if we all tried a little bit harder to make our little corner of geekdom a little bit friendlier?

“But political correctness has run amok!”

Whenever I have a conversation about political correctness with someone who dislikes the concept, it usually devolves into some grand hypothetical conversation about freedom of speech in stand-up comedy or edgy TV shows or whatever.

I’m happy to have that discussion with any of you fine folks the next time we’re at an event together, but it’s not pertinent to our conversation today. I feel like we’re all mature enough to recognize that a Magic tournament is not the same as a comedy club or an R-rated film.

“We shouldn’t be nicer to people because of the slippery slope!” is a bad hill to die on.

“I’m sick of being called a sexist all the time. I’m not a sexist!”

Extreme binary thinking is one of the biggest obstacles to self-improvement, and it’s a paradigm that you’re going to have to break free from if you want to experience any sort of meaningful growth.

Think back to the last time someone accused you of saying something racist, sexist, or otherwise harmful. If you’re anything like me, chances are your initial reaction is to get super defensive. I’m not racist, you think, your mind instantly flashing to a hooded KKK member. I can’t be racist because of <insert justification here>, I didn’t really mean any harm by my comments, and I’m certainly no KKK member, so this person must be overreacting!

This is an understandable reaction, but it’s important to learn how to move beyond it. As a society, we are TERRIBLE with this sort of nuance. We assume that there are “good” people (non-racists), and “bad” people (racists), and nobody wants to be lumped in with all the Hitlers. Instead, we blame the people leveling the accusations at us for overreacting, or for being too politically correct, or for jumping to conclusions based on “one stupid joke.” Some of us even double down on our suspect behavior, believing that it’s important to stake out some sort of “middle ground.”

But the problem isn’t them, it’s us. There are no good guys and bad guys. We can ALL do better. It’s okay to feel that initial stab of shame and defensiveness, but then it’s important to really look inside you and realize that what you said was hurtful. In fact, it hurt them so much that they felt the need to speak up and say something to somebody THAT THEY KNEW WOULD REACT DEFENSIVELY. That’s not an easy task for most people, and it’s extra hard for a marginalized person in a community where they don’t feel safe.

Look—I’m no exception to this rule. When I go back and watch some of the videos I recorded back in high school and college, I can’t help but cringe at some of the language I used and the jokes I made. In ten years, I’ll probably feel the same way about some of what I say now. It’s not like I was a horrible sexist back in 2007 and a totally enlightened person now—it’s that I’ve made (and continue to make) an effort to learn, grow, and improve. Being a good person is about constantly seeking to improve, same as being a good Magic player.

“All of this harassment talk makes me sick to my stomach. What can I do to help?”

First, listen to the people telling their stories of harassment. Internalize them, validate them, believe them.

This is pretty easy when the harasser is someone like Jeremy, who is well-known to be a toxic member of the community. It’s harder when it’s someone beloved. It’s even harder when it’s someone who you know personally. Your initial reaction may be defensiveness—it often is for me—but there’s a time and a place for that, and it’s not now.

Remember: we are mature enough to handle these situations with poise and nuance. Some people just need to be sat down and told to stop behaving badly, while others need to be banned and ostracized. We won’t be able to call out either type of harasser without creating an environment where people feel safe coming forward.

Second, you need to get more comfortable calling out the harassers in your own life. It’s MUCH harder for victims of harassment to call it out than it is for us bystanders, which is why it’s important that we not let any of this toxicity stand even when it doesn’t directly affect us.

Don’t just say something at FNM—speak up during your kitchen table drafts, too. “We don’t say stuff like that here,” is a good turn of phrase to keep in your back pocket. It’s important to sweep away that “boy’s club” atmosphere for good, because it can permeate out from late-night hotel room games into the community at large.

A lot of these people aren’t evil, they’re just prickly, misguided, and socially awkward. Some of them will double-down on their bad behavior and are unreachable, but I have to believe that at least some of them really do mean well. The only way to find out is by changing the climate and calling out the unacceptable stuff whenever we can, wherever we can. Otherwise, they’ll keep driving people away.

Of course, there are some actions that require a harsher response. Jeremy has an entire platoon of followers who will be harder to pin down. And these guys aren’t outsiders, they’re members of the community. They’re guys that you and I both know.

If you know about someone who likes to troll marginalized members of the Magic community on social media, you need to do everything you can to get them to stop. “It’s just a joke” should not be an acceptable defense at this point. These people need to understand that their actions have consequences.

To this end, try to get more comfortable appealing to authority figures like LGS owners and judges about stuff like this. It’s easier for people like us to speak up about harassing language when we hear it, and most of it is a disqualifying offense in sanctioned play. In smaller or casual events, remember that store owners are too busy running the shop to know what’s going on in the back room. Feel free to enlighten them.

This is especially important when dealing with constant, repeatable offenders. These are the people who lower the attendance at local events because large swaths of the player base don’t feel comfortable gaming with them. We need to do a better job of weeding them out and letting them know that they need to choose between being a productive member of the community or no longer being a part of the group.

Lastly, never assume that you are above it all. I’m certainly not. Remember that making mistakes in the social arena are like misplays in Magic: each one is a chance to improve, to become more precise, to grow as an empathetic person. The important thing is to acknowledge it, apologize, and do your best not to make that mistake again.

I’m sick of hearing “Magic is awesome, but the community kind of sucks.” The community is all of us—you, me, and everyone else who has ever picked up a Magic card and felt that instant, powerful connection. We all have a right to thrive within it, to feel comfortable slinging spells in shops and tournaments around the world. I’m willing to fight for that right. Are you?