#we'll figure it out this will not be forever ← affirmations

[napsaps-archive]

i’ve also been trying to not be super negative but the big sad is also hitting me tonight. like i LOVED q, his dsmp character is one of my favorite characters from anything ever, i had on multiple different occasions called him the funniest mfer on the planet, i bought so much stupid las nevadas merch and now it’s just like. MAN. it would hurt less atp if he just straight up said he hated the dteam now like this is just torturous and sad and i do not get it. i know time keeps marchin on and things will heal etc but it still sucks. there’s a little part of me that wishes he would have an epiphany or something and just apologize and explain everything but as it goes on it just feels like that’s not gonna happen :( sorry abt the rant but like. MAN *horse staring out to sea dot jpeg*

- foolishhappy

no no i fucking get you like in the beginning when it was first starting i refused to say anything at all i filtered tags and words and names and just talked about it on twt and then things just got worse and worse and here we are and it's just like . fuck dude what do we do now and the answer is move on but HOW and yeah i literally just want him to say something literally anything at all even if it's just to dream in private to tell him he's done like 😭😭😭 but q's never been that kind of guy so we'll see i guess

[highwaytothedangerzone502]

Foxtrot Alpha Alpha - Chapter 36

Pairing: Hangman x Female OC

Word Count: 2373

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: Hangman learned his lesson a long time ago to never show his true feelings when someone's words or actions hurt him. To do so showed weakness that could be exploited, and Seresin men couldn't show weakness. Of course, there was an exception to every rule, and Jake's always came in the form of women, three in particular: his mom, Juliette Kazansky, and the girl whose name he could no longer bring himself to speak. She was the girl that got away; she was his biggest 'what if' and his biggest regret; she would forever be the ghost that haunted his dreams. Jake believed that's where she'd stay, for he would surely never see her again after what he did.

Or so he thought.

Notes: This is the sequel to India Lima Yankee; I'm using the same callsign for the Female OC as in Ghost Story because I just really like it, but they are different characters; chapters in italics are flashbacks.

Chapter Songs: King Of My Heart Beautiful Drug

****

Ghost

Standing at the threshold of Hangman's apartment turned out to be even more daunting than anticipated. Staring at his door, Ghost thought grimly: I really should've figured out what to say before I got here. But there's no turning back now. Here goes nothing.

Her hand thudded heavily on the wooden door. She waited impatiently for a few seconds before knocking again. Once more, nothing. Ghost sighed, figuring he wasn't answering because it was her. She knew he was home; otherwise, his blinds wouldn't be raised. Unless he had headphones in while he worked out... that was a good possibility.

Ghost hesitated, grabbed hold of the doorknob, and twisted it. The door opened without resistance. 

"Guess some things really never do change." Ghost stepped inside and set her backpack on the floor, calling out, "Hangman? You home?"

Noise in the back of the apartment caught her attention.

Please don't let there be a girl here...

"Hangman?" Ghost called out again, slowly walking toward the noise. She warily poked her head into the bedroom. "Jake, are-"

"Fuck!" Hangman's voice boomed to her right, and she jumped to face him. Staring at each other like startled deer, Ghost's eyes trailed down his glistening body, water droplets rolling down from his shoulders to his abdomen to his-

Ghost whirled around, cheeks flush from embarrassment and silent awe at what she'd seen. Meanwhile, Hangman hurriedly wrapped a towel around his waist and demanded, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you," Ghost replied, wincing at how stupid the words sounded coming out of her mouth.

"And you couldn't have called?"

"Would you have picked up?"

His irked silence gave her the answer. "That's what I thought."

"So you thought waltzing in here was a good idea?"

"I always told you to keep your doors locked before someone unsavory person walked in." I just never thought I'd fall into that category...

"Did you come here to tell me 'I told you so,' or is there another reason?" he snapped. Hangman moved to his dresser, pulling out fresh clothes.

"We need to talk. I'll be in the kitchen when you're ready."

"You're going to be waiting a while."

"Fine. I have nothing else planned today anyway."

Turning on her heel, Ghost exited the bedroom and strode to the kitchen. The bedroom door slammed shut behind her. If Hangman thought his rude demeanor and behavior would dissuade her from talking and persuade her to leave, he was vastly mistaken. Ghost opened her backpack and pulled out the box of letters, setting them on the kitchen island, pristinely clean like the rest of Hangman's apartment.

He took his sweet time getting ready, so Ghost contented herself with rereading the letters as a reminder of why she'd come here as the stress of the impending talk began to loom over her more and more. 

Relax. We'll work this out. It'll be fine. Perfectly fine. We'll- 

Her affirmations were cut off by her ringing phone. Glancing at the screen, she saw her mom's name. Ghost frowned and silenced the call. Not right now. The drama over Maverick being her dad could wait until later when she was emotionally capable of handling it. She was dealing with enough at the moment.

"One existential crisis at a time," Ghost mumbled to herself while she silenced the second call from her mom. A third call came in, but this time, from an unknown number. Either Charlie was borrowing someone's phone to try and reach her, or a new person was trying to call her. Curiosity got the better of her, and Ghost answered. "Hello?"

"Hello, Annalise."

The voice sent ice running down her veins. She shouldn't have answered. "What do you want, Kyle?"

"To talk."

"Did Hangman's threats not get through that thick skull of yours?" Ghost snarled, bracing herself on the counter to keep her hand from shaking. Something about his eerily calm tone set her on edge.

"Either you tell me where you are so I can come talk to you, or I will find you," Kyle said, "and I will not be alone."

"Come anywhere near me, and I will get that restraining order in place." Movement out of the corner of her eye caught Ghost's attention. Hangman walked in, throwing a shirt on, staring at her in concern. He must've heard the last bit of the conversation. She mouthed 'Kyle' to him, and his expression went livid. Without a word, he held out his hand, and Ghost placed her phone in it.

"If you call my girl one more time-" Hangman growled, his lip curling involuntarily- "there will be hell to pay. I have a lot of pent-up rage right now, and I'd love nothing more than to use you as my personal punching bag."

My girl. The declaration sent shivers down Ghost's spine, even though she understood he only said it as a way to deter Kyle from reaching out to her again. Ghost had learned long ago that some men respected another man's claim on a woman more than the woman's outright denial of him.

Kyle said something else, and judging by the murder in Hangman's eyes, it was nothing good. Ghost's suspicion was confirmed when he snarled, "Do not touch her, or I'll make you wish you were dead." 

Hangman hung up after that and returned the phone to Ghost, who asked, "What did he say?"

"I'm not going to repeat it, but... be careful. Kyle's obsessed with you, and he's with Nick now. He has backup if he decides to confront you. Just... be on guard."

"It's good he doesn't know where I live then."

"Don't underestimate Nick's abilities. Even if you've blocked your address from being found by normal methods, if he wants something, Nick will find it." Hangman opened his mouth as if to add more but shut it and moved away from Ghost. He opened a kitchen cupboard and pulled out a glass, filling it with water. "So, why did you barge in here?"

"To talk. About everything. Including-" Ghost slid the box to him- "these."

The color drained from Hangman's face. Deathly quiet, he queried, "How did you get those?"

"It doesn't mat-"

"Yes, it does! You weren't supposed to read these! Where the hell did you-" The epiphany suddenly dawned on him- "Coyote. God... damn it!"

He swiped at the glass of water, sending it flying across the kitchen and shattering against the wall. Shards scattered everywhere, and Ghost might've been concerned about the sudden show of rage had Hangman not suddenly sagged against the counter, shaking.

"How much did you read?" he asked, deceptively calm.

"I didn't intend to read any of them at first since you hadn't been the one to give them to me. Then I decided to read the first one," Ghost admitted guiltily, hating how much this appeared to be affecting him. "And then I couldn't stop. I read all of them."

Hangman scoffed. "They were the ramblings of a delusional aviator. I don't see what was so riveting in them," he replied, heading to a closet and grabbing a broom and dustpan. "You shouldn't have read them. They weren't meant for you."

"Then why were you addressing them to me?"

"Because maybe it started out that way, and it was the closest I could come to telling you what was on my mind without actually burdening you with it."

Ghost shook her head. "We'd been friends for years, Jake. Burdens aren't meant to be carried alone. Your burdens were mine, and vice versa."

"My burdens stopped being yours when I killed you and Ghoul!" He snapped, furiously brushing the shards of glass into the dustpan. She waited for him to finish the chore before she spoke, mainly because she wasn't sure what to say next. Hangman, however, decided he hated her silence and asked a question of his own. "What are you doing? Why are you still coming after me when I told you to leave me alone?"

"Because I told you once that you were stuck with me. Yes, we had a fight. Yes, it was a nasty one, and in our grief, we fractured our friendship. We both had parts in it. You tried to mend it early on, but I was stupid and ignored you. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize the demons you were facing in the aftermath of it. I'm sorry, Jake," Ghost said earnestly, finally taking a step toward him.

"Why do you care so much about fixing us after all this time?"

"Because I loved you back," Ghost replied, sliding his last letter over to him. "Unequivocally, unabashedly, wholeheartedly, I loved you."

I still love you.

At the echo of his written word rolling so easily off her tongue, Hangman's green eyes searched her face, scanning for any lies and deception. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because I need you to understand that as long as I'm around, you are not alone in this world. That you will always have someone willing to pull you out of that darkness."

"I don't want to have this conversation, Ghost."

"I don't care. It needs to happen. It's needed to happen for a long time now."

"You should go."

Ghost stood her ground. "No."

His nostrils flared, and he pointed firmly at the door. "Go."

"On one condition."

"This is not a negoti-"

"Do you love me?" Ghost interrupted, stepping toward him again.

"What?" The question took him aback, and he shook his head. "That's not-"

"Do you love me?" Ghost repeated.

"I can't do this, Annalise. We can't-"

She would not be deterred. "Tell me you don't love me, and I will walk out that door right now and never return. I will give you what you want. But first, you have to tell me that you don't love me."

It was a dangerous game she played. For all Ghost knew, Hangman would tell her those dreaded words, and then she'd have to follow through with her promise, even if it killed her to do it.

Hangman took a step back from her, shaking his head. "Annalise, please, I can't- I'm trying to protect you. Why can't you see that?"

"Protect me from what? What do I need protection from? Why won't you answer my question about if you lo-"

"Just stop. Please, stop asking-"

"Is this because you're afraid I won't love you back?" Ghost stared him down, challenging him to answer. When her question was met with silence, she decided to finally reveal the truth that she'd been lying to herself about since the accident that had torn them apart. At the risk of having her last guard wall between them torn down, if it meant she got him to answer, then she'd do it. She'd do anything for him. "Because I do. I love you, Jake."

Hangman froze, the genuineness of her statement crashing over him as his gaze searched her face once more for the lie, but he wouldn't find one. All he would see were the tears welling in Ghost's eyes as she said, "I love you, Jake. I love you so much that if leaving is what you truly want me to do, then I will. If you tell me you do not love me, I will walk out that door without another word or argument. I will do as you wish, and we- we can live our separate lives and be cordial to each other when social situations are required, but I will not talk to you during those times or contact you outside of them. I will find a way to live my life without having the hope that one day, you will once again be in it. But first-" Ghost closed the distance between herself and Hangman, heart and head aching in terror at what his words would be to her request- "you need to tell me that you do not love me."

"Annie, I..." Hangman gulped, and Ghost could've sworn his entire body shook. "I'm a danger. To you, to everyone who-"

"That wasn't my question," she said sharply. "Do you love me?"

"I'm cursed! You don't deserve a life with a man who could get you killed or a guy who was so weak that he thought jumping into the black waves would solve all his issues. You deserve-"

"Jake!" Annalise exclaimed in exasperation, grasping his forearms firmly. "I will decide what type of man I deserve! And I will be the barrier between you and the black waves when they try calling for you to jump into them again. I will stand with you through the good and the bad. Just tell me: do you love me?"

"I love you!" Jake burst, chest rising and falling rapidly at the emotion he loosed. He broke from her grasp, clasping his hands behind his head as he walked away from her. Hangman took a few deep breaths, calming himself, before facing Ghost and closing the distance between them. He cupped her face, and in the gentlest of voices, he said, "Annie, I have loved you from the moment you tried to take my head off with your guitar. I never said anything because I did not want to drag someone as bright and full of light as you down with me into my darkness. I wanted you to find someone who deserved you, and I never saw myself as that man."

I love you. I love you. I love you. The words rang loudly in her head, and Ghost couldn't quite believe she was finally hearing them fall from his lips after all this time. She covered her hands with his, unable to tear her gaze from her sparkling green eyes. 

"You-" Hangman began, kissing her brow- "have bewitched me- body and soul- since the day I met you, and I love you."

Ghost smiled at the reference to her favorite film. She tilted her head up to brace her forehead against his. "Forever?"

Without hesitation, without stumbling or missing a beat, Hangman replied, "And always."

Ghost closed the gap between their lips, and no more words needed to be said.

****

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[paralyze-fic]

Paralyze.

Chapter 25

After Aizawa-sensei and All Might had a little chat with my parents and the twins asked them for autographs, they left. My things were going to be taken tomorrow morning to my dorm and then, back to class.

Our life in the dorms was going to be adventurous.

//////

"That took me forever," I had just finished fixing my room how I wanted it, and after all that I was feeling a bit thirsty, so I went down to the common room where everybody was.

"Hey, (L/n)," I turned as I heard Mina calling me.

"Yeah?" I opened the fridge, got a water bottle out, and placed it on the counter while I grabbed an empty cup and filled it to half.

"We were gonna do like a room competition, wanna join?" A nod was my response to her, and she smiled happily.

I placed the bottle back in the fridge and drank my water before I walked out of the kitchen. I saw Katsuki whispering something to Eijiro, who simply nodded, and then Katsuki walked up to me.

"Come to my room later. I wanna talk to you." His voice came out in a soft whisper, and I hummed an affirmative 'yes', he turned around and hopped in the elevator.

Everybody started walking up the stairs to the second floor, where Midoriya, Aoyama, Tokoyami and Mineta's rooms were. All the while they checked the rooms and commented on them, I was trying to think of a believable excuse to leave early, like I was sleepy, felt sick or anything of that kind, but got nothing convincing enough, so I just had to tag along silently.

The third floor rooms they had a look of were; Ojiro, Iida, Kaminari and Koda.

On the fourth floor was my room, right next to Katsuki's. "We'll start with (L/n)'s room." At Ochaco's words, I opened the door for them to get inside.

I didn't really have much, a shelf was hung on the wall, books and manga filled them, on the desk was my laptop and some action figures, posters hung on the wall, a two-person couch, a black bean bag, the TV and a big stuffed teddy bear by the feet of my bed.

And let's not forget the air-con, the mini-fridge and the closet each dorm room already had.

"It's simple, yet cool, I like it," Uraraka said and I smiled at her. "Especially the bear. It's so cute."

"Thank you, Uraraka-kun. My siblings gave it to me," my phone buzzed and I stared at the screen. Katsuki was calling me. "Umm, sorry guys, I got to pick up this call, you can keep going without me." They all nodded and walked out of my room. I heard them saying something about Bakugou and Kirishima said he went to sleep.

I peeked out my door, waiting for them to get into the next person's room, which was Eijiro's. Instead of answering the call, I walked out of my room and knocked against Bakugou's door.

The sound of Katsuki's footsteps was nearing the door, and soon it was opened, quickly I walked in and closed it behind me. "What did you want to talk about, Katsuki?" I asked him as he sat down in his bed, I sat beside him.

He was looking at his fingers as he played with them. Katsuki wasn't answering, something I didn't mind, actually I took that silent time to look around his room. It was exactly like how it was at his home, just more like Bakugou now. Some All Might figures on his desk and a few posters of him on his wall, he had more things of the number one hero in his house though.

"Did I..." he began, snapping me out of my mental observations and I stared at him, "Did I end All Might...?" Slowly, he looked up at me, his red eyes glossy with unspilled tears. Instantly, I wrapped my arms around him and held his shivering body close to me.

"No, no, of course you didn't end All Might, Katsuki. Heroes have to retire at some point, and maybe he was getting hit by his age," I tried to add some humour at the end, but that didn't do the trick. "Katsuki, it's okay, don't beat yourself over that, alright? If it worries you so much, why don't we go and talk about it with All Might tomorrow? What do you say?" He shook his head and pulled away.

"It's just... if I had been stronger or quicker, nothing of this would've happened, it's my fault for making All Might how he is now." His hiccups were making their appearance, his sniffing getting louder and the shivering more aggressive. Katsuki was panting and grabbing his head, closing his eyes while crying.

I hugged him, but that didn't seem to be enough, so I lifted him to my lap. His trembling arms wrapped around my waist and he hid his face against my chest, both of his legs were around my hips, and he cried louder now.

I played with his hair, and slowly stroked his back and sides. I didn't say anything, I just let him cry as much as he wanted or needed. That was all I could do for him, seeing as my words didn't help his situation at all.

After a while, maybe twenty minutes had passed, his sobbing ceased and the crying stopped almost completely, some gasps leaving his lips every now and then.

"You feel better?" I whispered in his ear and he nodded, pulling back from my chest and staring up at me. My heart was thumping rapidly at our proximity.

"Yes, thank you (M/n)." Katsuki rested his cheek on my shoulder, breathing slowly and nuzzling my neck, making shivers run down my spine.

"Katsuki..." I called him without thinking.

He looked up at me again, his crimson eyes shining because of all the tears he shed, "Yes?" My hands reached up to his cheeks and I wiped his tears with my thumbs, slowly and carefully. Katsuki closed his eyes and leaned against my palms.

He was behaving like a dog, yet again, and I smiled at that. "You're so cute, Katsuki." I saw his eyes open wide at my words and felt how his face heated up, the warmth of his cheeks against my palms.

I couldn't focus, I was just acting on automatic, like auto-pilot mode, and I wasn't able to regain control of my actions.

Might have been his expression, the situation or all the self-control getting accumulated inside of me for these past months, but my hands pulled his face closer to mine, and as I closed my eyes, my lips pressed down on his.

They were soft, and wet because of Katsuki's tears, but it was so sweet. I wouldn't have changed this first kiss for anything else, because now, for at least a second, I felt like he, Bakugou Katsuki, was finally mine.

[tadpolesinyourshoes]

MINORS DNI: SPICEY CONTENT BELOW

How i think sams first time eith the farmwr would go:

cw: smut, bottom!sam, top!farmer, gn!farmer

Ok, so im on stardew brainrot rn and sams my little pookie so heres how i think his first time getting intimate with the farmer would go.

-hes never hooked up with anyone sexually because he was so scared his mom wouls fine out and get mad

-he probably gets super nervous at first, hes super akward with the farmer

-needs constant reassurance. Hes gonna ask if hes doing it right, where to go. Direct him gently, hes still figuring it out.

-it probally starts out slow, really slow. The farmer praises him everytime they start something new and sam just MELTS

-bonus: if you degrade him, he'll cry. His feelings are fragile

Little story ig?? I don't write, so don't come at me please.

~~~

His pants were folded gently on the ground, his boxes tucked between them. Sam had taken each precious second trying to calm his nerves. Of course the farmer was sweet and patient with him. Asking probably a dozen times, "are you sure, love? We don't have to if you're not ready."

"No, no, no, i want to. I do." Sam pleaded, his voice getting small. "Its just- you're my first."

His voice was barely audible. The farmer planted soft kisses across his cheeks.

"We'll go completely at your pace, ok?" They assured him.

Sam nodded gently. He hugged the farmer tight. "Ready."

The farmer gently layed him on the bed. There was a few awkward minutes of making a comfy nest of blankets and pillows for sam to rest his body on. He felt so exposed, his back to the farmer. "You'll go slow right?" His mouth felt dry.

"Promise." The farmer cooed, leaning forward and kissing behind his ear. "Its just my hands first. Relax, I'll be gentle, i won't go any further until you say so. And if you want it to stop, we'll stop."

Sam nodded, humming a small affirmation at their words. He waited for what felt like forever until he gasped at the cold feeling of lube agaisnt his bare bottom. His back arched at the new sensation. The farmer rubbed the lube around his entrance in a small, soft motion.

"I know its cold, sorry." The farmer chuckled softly. They leaned in to kiss sam.

" 's okay. Just surprised." He mumbled back. Sam could feel his hesrt rate pick up again. It was happening, it eas really happening. He wasnt sure if he felt like he was going to throw up from fear or excitment.

The gentle movements persisted untul the farmer slowly rubbed across Sam's entrance. "I'm just going to prep you a little. Open you up so its easier. Ready?"

Sam tensed immediately. "I think. I-" he took a slow breath, "not too hard."

"Not too, hard. I'll be gentle. Youre already doing so good for me, sunshine." The farmer cooed sweetly.

The words made Sams body feel hot. He whimpered softly as butterflies filled his stomach. He began to slowly feel the pressure of a the farmers fingers entering his body. He gasped softly. "Slow! Slow!" He gripped the blankets in anticipation.

The farmer smiled softly, using their freehand to rub his thigh. "I wont go any further. Just tell me when." They assured him softly.

Sam took a few moments to adjust to this new forgein feeling. He took s few small breaths and unburried his face from the pillows. " 'kay." He said softly.

The farmer gently rubbed his thigh. "Can i keep going?" Their tone was sweet and calm. The last thing the farmer wanted was to hurt their lover.

"Y-ya. Keep going please." Sam could feel himself relaxing a little more as he was able to anticipate each next move. The farmer voiced each step before moving on. By the time they were able to add another finger into Sam's soft hole, he was stiffling whimpers into the pillow.

"I didn't know you were capable of such pretty noises." The farmer cooed to their blushing blonde. "You don't have to hide them from me. You sound so cute."

Sam felt his heart melting ans his insides heating up. The farmers finger tips gently brushed his prostate and he pushed hid face into the pillows. "Shi~ mmm!" He muffled.

His soft whimpers were followes by a sweet chuckle and a warm kiss on his hip. "Go on. Please? You're precious." Ths farmer cooed softly.

"Ah~" sam turned his head a little, his voice ringing out in the quiet farmhouse. He was in pure bliss at the hands of the farmer. "There! Again, please!"

The farmer smiled softly, pressing their fingers into his prostate again. "There? You like that? You're doing so well. My beautiful boy." The farmer kissed him, curling their fingers inside him.

"Ah yes! Yes there! 'M close, again!" Sam felt a warmth surge into his abdomen. Small clear droplets dripping down his dick.

"Good boy, so close, right? Go on, love." The farmer cooed softly, thrusting their fingers gently into sam.

"Gah~" sams body lurched forward as the final thrust brough him to climax. He felt he knees about to give way. He panted softly and looked down. "I got your blankets dirty." He said softly, almost ashamed.

"Blankets can be washed." The farmer cooed, pulling their fingers gently out of Sams stretched hole. "You did so beautifully. Did it all feel good?" They moved to gently cradle the blonde boy.

Sam nuzzled into the farmer, looking up at them with bright eyes. "Mmhm. I liked it, thank you."

The famrer planted a soft kiss on their lovers forehead. "I'm glad you did. How about a warm bath to wash up?"

"You'll come too?" Sam asked with a hopeful expression.

"Of course." The farmer replied with a kiss. "I love you, youre amazing."

"I love you too." Sam cooed back softly. He rested in the farmers arms, knowing he would sleep soundly on his lovers arms tonight.

~~~

Longish story?? Grammar and spelling don't exist in the notes app, ok. Like i said im not a writer so i hope this turned out ok.

[pushingdaisies1]

♡ ·˚꒰𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮˚ˑ༄

{❥} Pairing: Dorian Storm x (gender-neutral!!) reader , Orym of the Air Ashari x (gender-neutral!!) reader {❥} Summary: The night of the ball was hectic if you wanted to sum it down in the best.. condensed way. With your group's go-to job finished, the night really had only begun. What rips you out of your haze of adrenaline was one of your closest friends breaking off from the group. Dorian announces his leave and you can't help but feel your walls breaking. Finally, as you were getting now just used to this group, your friend was embarking off. Somehow, some way the warm and affirming holding of hands by your klepto faun companion Fearne can not reel you out of the sudden pit in your chest. Taking a deep breath in, something clicks at the worst time possible.

{❥} Authors Note: Sooo uh life update, my water is all fucked up! Literally, there's a blockage by my kitchen sink (I tink) .. so that's fun. I decided to celebrate me finally getting up to episode 14 of 𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓫𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓼 by writing this. We'll forever miss you Dorian<3 , love that air genasi sm. Alsoooo - this is a rewrite of an earlier blurb!! Right here is the link to it if you'd like to read the original piece.

{❥} CWS (Content Warnings): I really dont think there is any sort of warnings for this (ONE is that its semi proofread so there may be spelling mistakes) ... except the fact that it may be spoilers for episode 14 of Bell's Hells? This is just a small one for anyone who isn't totally caught like... me LOL. But uh yeah - other than that I think that's really it! If there's anymore I should add to the warnings, please let me know. _________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ ・ Your group's job for Eshteross was at first.. simple. Easy he said! , this would help your group keep a constant tracker on a madman! Though if you were going to be entirely honest, this job was never going to be easy. None of you really could expect how the night would take a hard turn. ・ The entire mission was its whole win and disaster all in one, and it didn't help that the guard clearly knew of you and your group's physical descriptions and so on. But for now, that wasn't the main focus, what WAS the main focus was getting back to Eshteross manor.

・ As you all regrouped back at the home of Ariks Eshteross, the air was pretty stale. Ashton had their shit absolutely kicked in, again - the guard had somewhat knowledge of the descriptions of the "Bells Hellions", coming to the conclusion that every one of you was entirely worn out.

・ The air relaxes a bit as Dorian shows off his now less invisible brother. The poor guy had one hell of a night, and even with his mistakes before he clearly meant no harm. Your eyes glanced over as you saw Dorian tense at the mention of the Green Seekers trying to put the blame for the tower robbery on Cyrus. Letting out a weak but frustrated - "They think he's me."

・ Cyrus explains himself a little bit more, talking about how he was mostly in the dark with all of Emoths business. Eshteross snaps his cane down to the hardwood floor grounding and brings up a solution. Smuggiling Cyrus out of the area, at least out of Marquet with the use of his skyship. ・ As He brings up how the Green Seekers, Paragons Call, and all of the.. less friendly aquatics would be looking for a specific look of a person. Laudna immediately catches on as you as well notice the large and stoic half-orcs eyes somewhat narrow at Dorian. With Laudna pointing this out you, Fearne, and Orym speak up. -> "Yeah! I don't think we should be jumping the gun with Cyru-"

・ Eshteross .. sadly brings up another good enough point. Even though Cyrus didn't look like someone with any true cruel intentions, he even admitted he wasn't good at the whole art of crimeing. Eshteross began to somewhat poke at him with the fact that Cyrus couldn't possibly figure out a way to get out of Jrusar, especially on his own. Even keep a low profile at that. ・ Dorian replies out of the blue, saying he would join in with the smuggling of both him and his brother out of the city. Everyone tries to bring up a hypothetical solution. Ranging from changing appearances to paying off Cyrus's frustrating bounty, even to gaining new identities (courtesy of you.) But by the somber air Genasi's look, he had clearly made up his decision.

・ Eshteross commends you and your group, saying that you all in the end succeeded. Commenting about the fact that your group was one of a kind by his judgment with your group's drive to survive. Leaving you all to go deal with the paperwork, you all talked out your differences about this new decision. ・ For you, you couldn't help but feel like your heart was crinkling up like a worn piece of parchment. Dorian leaving?? , what the fuck?? It wasn't like you didn't understand why he was leaving. Family comes first before everything. He didn't even stop to mention that your group was like family. But something was tugging at you , why of all of the days did this had to happen? Why the fuck couldn't you be more upfront? ・ Ever since your adventures started with originally the Crowns Keepers, you always had a sort of admiration for Dorian. Even if he could be a little bit of a clutz, he had that eloquence to him. He may be a little bit awkward but he paid up for that in his caring remarks. One way or another always looking for ways to brighten up a crowd or bring any sort of form of performance into the mix. That was only just the start of your rabbit hole. ・ Before you always pushed off telling him about it, talking about how one day you'll lose track of each other and forget about one another. But Dorian was nothing close to forgettable. Your mind tricked you, and you immediately fell head over heels for the charming air genasi. Fearne could see you slowly start to spiral, inching her hand closer to yours as a way to calm you. ・ You gave her a look of hurt, she shared that same resemblance. Your eyes were filled with a sort of betrayal but one not of a softer blow. This was for the best, and Cyrus was of his flesh and blood. But you couldn't really just blurt out an "I LOVE YOU!" in the middle of your and your friend's pity circle. Besides that, you couldn't really just leave.

・ You couldn't lie to yourself, you did miss your friends from before. Dariax and his loveable air-head personality, Opal and her sporadic but thrilling move of action. Fy'rai of course with her leader, headstrong demeanor. Those were your people but now... Bells Hells are as well. You had fallen for all of their quirks and downsides, seeing that there was (similar to Eshteross) something valuable within this group. ・ Not to mention that Orym and Fearne were still staying, those two were basically your ride or die. You counted all your friends as that, but at a point in time it was just you and your spoon huddle. Now with one of you leaving, it hurt just a little bit. You felt Fearne gently graze your knuckles with her decrepit hand, giving you a pitiful smile. She very much could feel how this was a hard time for you, especially Orym.

・ Not too long ago you could tell the halfling shared your similar thoughts on Dorian. Honestly, who wouldn't be so in love with this gracious being! In a way you wanted to push Orym to say something, but you could tell he had some baggage in the feelings department. Though he could also pretty much tell what was wrong with you by that continuous stare you had.

・ Though in regular Dorian fashion, you all gathered around for a somewhat more upbeat round of wine. Sitting with one another and toasting to your newfound group along for toasting some more for a safe passage, no one really left out dealing sass (well deserved) to Cyrus. He may have no real malicious intent in his body, he was also... a little bit dumb, but hey- for some that's attractive.

・ You all share drinks, stories, and some sort of combination of laughter and bitter-sweet words with one another. Your closing off a certain chapter with the way a majority of you met, it was a touching sight to see. Even if Cyrus was keeping more to himself with this environment, he'd put in his input which made you smile in a sort of warmness that could only be defined as friendly. Your spoon formation lamented over the fact that it would be one less spoon in the mix. ・ With songs sung and the sharing of some aggressive Pate and Bertrand plushie smooches, it was time for Dorian to leave. Though you and the others didn't stop at mentioning to Dorian to call through the sending stone if needed. Making sure to drive home yours and Orym's words that Dorian was farthest from a burden and that all of the evidence they needed was clear to everyone. ・ As Dorian starts to make his way out with Cyrus, and Eshteross leading them to the now pulled-up carriage, you stop him for just a moment for one more final ... "tah tah" for now. You remembered a certain sun brooch that always rested on your person and unclasped it off of you. Dorian gave you an interested look before noticing you putting it on him, you took a deep breath in. Your voice was shaking and your eyes were watery as can be. "Dont you ever fucking forget you have allies with us, you hear me?" You say while trying to sound as serious as you can without breaking down into a mess of tears. He chuckled at this, looking at you with a compassionate glance. "I could never forget about my family here, not any last one of you. I could never lie about how you all mean to me, especially you." He says, the last part a little more hushed.

・ You couldn't help but smile, even if a little cracked, and gently grace your hands over the now pinned brooch. He gave you one final smile as well and gently placed a kiss on your cheek before sharing with you a quick but firm hug. You walked back to the others as you watched Dorian walk out with Cyrus and head right over to the carriage.

・ Testing out the sending stone was Fearne, acting like a frantic mother, until Orym took it away trying to quell her nerves, your face couldn't help but keep on smiling. You knew Dorian was always a person of keeping promises, and by how random the act of fate was your paths would always cross sometime soon. At least that's what you hoped but time would only tell.

・ You all watched them ride off, as well as catching a look at some thieving child stealing the once floating wooden airship. That was those interrupted as Eshteross closed the front doors of the manor, taking a turn back to everyone else. You all were a little skeptical if Eshteross was a little mad, but surprisingly (the dwindling adrenaline playing with your worries) he wasn't at all.

・ He decided to do the reassurance, by reminding you all about how you were his problem solvers of that night. Even if your ways were somewhat a little bit messy, your group got shit done. Though he had a point, everyone was worn out and pretty fucking tired, it was time to head to bed.

・ Which is what you all did as Eshteross gave each and every one of you rooms to sleep in for the night. You couldn't help but take some time to pace around anxiously, what if something happens on the way to Emon, what if they- until your walking stops by the sudden rhythmic knock. Walking up to the door.. it was Orym. You had decided to take your own room to cool down so this was a surprise.

・ This all led to a long and winded talk, away from all of the others. The main subject? , was, of course, Dorian. No bad words were shared, though Orym bared his soul to you about what he was feeling about the sudden departure. You did the same and a new , pure respect was seemingly gained between the two of you. Maybe being in the same boat wasn't so bad. ・ You bidded him a "goodnight" and watched as he headed back to his and Fearnes shared room. You let out a content sigh before turning back to your mostly dusty bed, but that was the least of your worries. All you wanted to do was wrangle your frantic thought process to hold and get some well-deserved rest, maybe even rest up old wounds when you're at it.

・ Turning over to the nearest wall, focusing in on it, you finally let sleep take over you and your mind. Your last thoughts were on Dorian and what work would be approached about the next day, then again all you needed to do was play the waiting game as is. Though you wouldn't hate that, with those final thoughts you finally let sleep FULLY consume your consciousness. Tomorrow was going to be good, you just knew it.

[sinceileftyoublog]

Hurray For The Riff Raff Album Review: The Past is Still Alive

(Nonesuch)

BY JORDAN MAINZER

On The Past is Still Alive, the latest and best studio album from Hurray For The Riff Raff, Alynda Segarra looks back at a specific era of their life to pay tribute to chaos and imagine what could come from it. Their seemingly legendary but very real past is well-known by now: At age 17, Segarra left their home in the Bronx and hopped freight trains, played in a hobo band, and settled in New Orleans, a formative period of simultaneous struggle and freedom. That combined ethos has pervaded all Hurray For The Riff Raff records, but on The Past is Still Alive, Segarra's finally telling the tale, applying what they learned to the present day.

Notably, Segarra started recording The Past is Still Alive a month after their father died; while his voice appears literally on the album's final track "Kiko Forever", his musical uplift acts as a buoy for Segarra throughout the whole thing. Though they had worked with producer Brad Cook and drummer Yan Westerlund prior, Segarra had never recorded with the rest of the album's laundry list of stellar contributors, from Meg Duffy of Hand Habits, and Mike Mogis to guest vocalists Anjimile, Conor Oberst, and S.G. Goodman. That Segarra conquered a period of vulnerability to record the album with bonafide strangers is a terrific feat, but not necessarily surprising: This is a person who has the ability to treat even their fellow band members like the audience, recipients of some remarkable stories full of biography and symbolism alike.

Throughout The Past is Still Alive, Segarra alternates between timeless metaphor and hyper-specific details. On "Buffalo", they remark, simply, that "Some things take time," whether presently forming love or society's death-by-1000-cuts treatment of the oppressed. Segarra sings over strummed acoustic guitar and Mogis' pedal steel, the perfect accompaniment to earned wisdom. "Hawkmoon", on the other hand, is more electric, full of Duffy's bluesy riffing, akin to the epic sound of The Navigator, fitting for a song inspired by a lasting figure: the first trans woman Segarra ever met. As if to project to a stadium full of folks looking to honor Ms. Jonathan, Segarra sings a heartland rock-style salute: "She opened up my mind in the holes of her fishnet tights / Dildo waving on her car antenna and / I could've ridden shotgun forever." Pseudo title track "Snakeplant (The Past Is Still Alive)" juxtaposes both memories of chaos and lessons learned. As Segarra recounts shoplifting and having sex on top of an island of trash, they make sure to tell you what they took from a life among "the barrel of freaks": "Test your drugs / Remember Narcan / There's a war on people, don't you understand?" Duffy's distorted guitar and Matt Douglas's skronking saxophone create beauty from Segarra's warnings of disorder.

Some of the best songs on The Past is Still Alive are incredibly life-affirming. Opener "Alibi" is a plea to drug-addicted childhood friends, a promise that, "Maybe we'll start a band," on a song that introduces the swath of instrumentation present throughout the record, like gentle piano, steady drums, echoing guitar, and pedal steel. "Ogallala" and "Colossus of Roads" prioritize survival in a harsh world--Segarra compares themselves to the musicians still playing on the deck of a sinking Titanic--but not without a wish that the world itself would burn. Westerlund's crashing drums take the former to its logical conclusion, while the latter, inspired by the 2022 Club Q shooting in Colorado springs, makes the case for empathy along the way to the apocalypse. "Wrap you up in the bomb shelter of my feather bed," Segarra sings, fighting cruelty with compassion atop Phil Cook's mournful dobro and organ and Westerlund's funereal drum rolls.

It's a line in "Hourglass" that sticks with me the most among the lyrical and instrumental brilliance of The Past is Still Alive. Recounting feeling out-of-place among the status-obsessed, Segarra shifts their perspective. "Suddenly, a boulder's just sand in an hourglass," they sing. Though they spend much of the album concentrating on time and place, they recognize that our mark on earth is statistically insignificant, something we can use to our advantage rather than something that makes us feel small. What many in society consider important--celebrity, power, money--is volatile compared to the power of your own agency, of giving life to the past.

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: No Fun (6)

In which you're nothing special, or are you?

Tags/Warnings: Hybrid AU, Bunny hybrid!Jungkook, Idol!Jungkook, Idol!Bangtan, Bunny hybrid!Reader, Angst, strangers to ???

Additional Chapter Warnings: jungkook having issues, slight fluff?

Chapter length: short

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He's conflicted.

He knows he should wait until you reach out again- he shouldn't pressure you into anything, but God does he miss you. The rain is pattering against his high top apartment's windows, and he has to think about how it must be the same for you. Do you like the rain? Are you scared of thunderstorms?

He wants to know it all.

You've texted him your number- he has therefore the ability to reach out and call you. But be can't bring himself to do it, finger unable to tap that button, no matter how bad he wants to. It doesn't matter- what the hell should he talk about anyways?

You're so different, the only thing shared seemingly only your hybrid kind- and even there, there's differences. While his own ears stand tall and straight ontop of his head, yours are smaller and almost floppy- so delicate and soft looking, a stark contrast to the sleek black glossy fur covering his own ears. You're not the same- no matter how much he tries to find similarities it seems.

Maybe you'd be better off with someone like jimin? He's a gentleman, not the player he's seen as due to his florty nature. He'd be able to properly take care of you; he'd only look at you, never letting you feel less about yourself than perfect. He'd be able to care for you and love you better than he himself could ever.

He notices his tears staining his pillow.

His phone vibrates, your number displayed, and he sits up, sniffling before clearing his throat, trying to put up a front. But when he picks up, he knows you've been crying as well. "What's wrong?" He demands to know, and you sigh on the other end.

"I.. hoped you could answer that." You say, and it takes a moment before he realizes you probably feel upset for no good reason now because of the bond.

So you really are bonded to him as well.

"Oh God I'm so sorry.." he runs a hand over his face. "I didn't mean to- I'll just pull myself together, sorry.." he answers with a dry chuckle, but you just hum.

"Hm no worries. Do you want to talk about it?" You ask, and he lays down again, on his side, phone on his pillow.

"Not much to say." He starts, shrugging though you can't see him. "I.. I can't apologize enough."

"I know." You say this time, knowing anything else he won't accept. "We'll figure this out." You tell him.

"I'm.. You're bonded as well." He says- and you affirm by a simple hum. "Are you sleepy?" He asks with a chuckle, noticing your lack of response.

"Very.." you answer, and he smiles on the other end.

"Then sleep." He chuckles, trying to pretend for a moment that you're not hating him- that there's a world or a different reality where you would let him close again.

"Well, genius, I was trying to do that." You giggle sleepily, yawning before you mumble something out. "I can't if you can't. Your thoughts are too loud." You say, and he closes his eyes.

"I'll quiet them down for you then." He says, and you hum a reply.

And the next morning, he realizes you've hung up after 6 hours of the call- falling asleep together with him, even though you've been apart.

He feels like it's a memory he wants to keep forever.

[rhiezus]

(🌙) My muse comes over to your muse’s house/room to spend the night. // evie x sunny

evellyn wasn't someone of many words, in fact, she firmly believed that actions speak louder than words and so far, sunny was pretty much the same. so when she invited her over to spend the night, both of them knew exactly that they wouldn't spend the time talking. there wasn't anything wrong with two girls having a slumber party, but that was for friends who had no feeling whatsoever for each other. evellyn felt completely numbed when she was around sunny, not only because she was probably one of the most pretty girls she had ever seen, but because she also has one of the most brilliant minds she ever could get a glimpse of. which was funny because they met by chance and kept all of their relationship by chance itself, they didn't exactly move mountains to be together, they didn't need desperate displays of affection and big long speeches of affirmation. it was there, the feeling of just wanting to be together was there and for them, that seemed to matter at all just fine.

she also didn't have to put on her best pajamas for it, in fact, evellyn wasn't gracious at all, she had just gone jogging for the night and all her roommates were chilling in their rooms because it was past nine am and everyone was tired, but evellyn wasn't. evellyn couldn't even take a nap as she planned to do before sunny came, her thoughts were clouded and anxious, hence the jogging and the misfitted way her hair looked right now. she gave sunny a little tour of her bedroom in hushed voices, her roommates were past caring who they bring to the dorm and it also wasn't sunny's first time being over. it probably was for that matter though, one that was implied from the moment she invited her. she heard the other being polite, but she wasn't tired at all, her eyes glued to sunny's figure caressing her bookshelves and trying to examine the thoughts behind evie's mind and the books she read over the years. mostly fiction about corrupted worlds and mindless romances with idiotic heroines and stupid gangs that stick together despite it all.

there was no point in pretending how much she wanted her, how much she needed her, and how much she cared for her. evellyn launched herself behind sunny and hugged her back, her head resting in the perfect position to hear her heart beating from a calm to a faster pace. it was completely comforting but also, not enough. "you're so soft... and smell, of softener." that probably wasn't the cleverest thing she had said at all, but it was meant well. she disentangled herself from her to let the other turn around and for their eyes to meet before they could smile, broad smiles like two little kids who had just found out they want to make a promise to keep being friends forever. should she bring sunny a friendship bracelet? something cute and vain, just to tell her she wanted to make her hers. "you're lucky i wanted you to come, can't hide in your room forever. also, mine is edgier, way cooler." she wasn't lying, evellyn had a keen for decorations and she spent a lot of time and money making her room look like a home and she was proud of all of it, not only the room but the whole apartment she shared with her friends.

and she wanted sunny to feel welcomed in her life as well, she wanted sunny to be a part of it, not fully but to the extent that the other wanted to be just enough for both of them. evellyn gave in to the feeling of wanting to taste her and kissed sunny on the lips, again and again, and again, until they were both stumbling on their feet and trying to keep their breaths and hearts on time. but it proved quite an impossible task because sooner than ever evellyn was pinning the girl to her bed, trying so hard not to laugh at the way her hair fell directly into their mouths. "sorry, sorry." she said, giggling a little bit, moving it away with her fingers and then proceeding to distribute pecks all over her neck. "we'll just have to keep quiet, okay? do you think we can do that?" her voice gave away all the breath she was still holding, not even close to disguising how red and flustered she was becoming anticipating everything they were about to do.

[bangtangalicious]

sneak peak for nexus taehyung pls im begging 😩🙏

Breathe. You would tell him. It won't hurt forever I promise.

It’s all he had of you to hold onto. Your soft words, sweet whispers, tender lies. He’d gasp—waking up from shocking nightmares day in and day out. Year after year as he’d chase after you. Pleading—no, begging you not to fall into his mother's twisted web.

You’d tell him you cared for him, and he would almost believe you. But even back then, and even now, Taehyung was no fool. He could read you like an open book.

"Are you scared of me, princess?" There it was. The nickname. You stiffened as he leaned forward, fingers trailing up your jaw until he held your cheek in his palm. Held you gaze in his own, eyes drifting with mystery. His voice was so incredibly soft. Sweet even. Contrasting the ever so slightly amused glint in his eye.

You exhaled, heart throbbing through your ribs, almost to the point of suffocation.

"Yoongi Hyung," Taehyung shifted to look at Yoongi who was watching the scene unfold intently, lips pursed in worry. He appeared to care about you. Taehyung noted to ask you about the nature of your relationship with him. Once he had your trust, of course. "May we have the room?"

"Of course" Yoongi stood up slowly, looking to you for some sort of affirmation that it was okay to leave. You sent him a slight nod, to which his shoulders relaxed. "sir" He added, bowing briefly in Taehyung's direction before exiting the conference room.

How long had he been waiting for this moment? And never in a million years would he have thought that when you'd finally reunite, you would already be ready to marry him.

His hand slid forward, covering yours which was bawled up in a tight, quivering fist. Sighing, Taehyung lifted your hands to his lips, pressing against them as though they might slip away again forever. He didn't want to hold you too tightly and yet, he couldn't bring himself to let go. You continued to remain silent.

"I can't believe you're actually here. That I can actually see you and touch you and," He tugged at your arm until you met his eyes once again "God I missed you Y/n, you have no idea"

Tears swelled in your eyes, "I-I just, I am afraid. I'm really fucking afraid Taehyung, a-and confused, I just..."

Dropping your hands, Taehyung lept from his chair towards you, falling to his knees so he could wipe away your tears, "Hey, it's okay. We'll figure it out"

Truth be told, Taehyung had never been more afraid in his entire life. Afraid of you. Afraid of his feelings for you.

Afraid of the ability you had to drive him completely and utterly insane.

[broken-stardust]

Maybe Hotch Was Right

Summary: Spencer and Reader don't get along, but things change when Spencer finds him during a personal moment.

Category: Angst/Fluff SpencerxMale!Reader

Content Warnings: homophobia, cursing, kissing, crying

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: This was written for @imagining-in-the-margins's August Enemies to Lovers challenge, and I didn't procrastinate till the end of the month! Look at me go!! Anyway, I hope you enjoy my gay writing.

Y/N was the most insufferable person I knew. He was full of himself, he thought he knew better than anybody else, and he always had to be right. It infuriated me. It wasn't that he wasn't smart; he was. Incredibly smart, in fact. It was just that he had to make sure everyone knew it, and he'd rub it into people's faces all the time.

It didn't help that he was cute, too. If he'd been ugly, it would have made it so much easier to hate him. But he had these eyes that just drew me in. And that smile! Oh my god, that smile. If only he wasn't such an asshole.

He was nice enough, I supposed, just an arrogant prick. But everybody else liked him, and that just made my hatred for him that much worse. Why couldn't anyone see what he was doing? He was playing them all like a fiddle, but I wasn't falling for it. I knew that underneath that grin, he was just a self-consumed smartass.

He had been a thorn in my side throughout this entire case, too. Hotch kept pairing us up in hopes that we'd realize that our feud was uncalled for, but Y/N was just as stubborn as I was, if not more. The last straw had been when Hotch assigned us to the same hotel room.

"But Hotch," I whined, praying he'd have mercy on me and let me stay with Derek instead. "I won't be-"

He cut me off with a hand raised to my face.

"This isn't up for discussion, Reid," he warned. "You are sharing a room with Y/L/N, and if I need to, I won't let you out until you make up over whatever this stupid argument is about."

I rolled my eyes. Was he really treating me like a child right now? Still, I knew arguing would get me nowhere.

"Yes, Sir," I said in defeat before heading in the direction of my room.

Y/N was already in there, and I dreaded having to enter. With all the courage I could muster up, I opened the door and stepped inside.

It was dark except for the faint light coming in through the window, and I heard some sort of noise. A sniffle maybe? Was he... crying?

As the door closed behind me, I heard him scramble to hide whatever it was that he was doing. I mentally cursed myself for intruding on such a personal moment, even if I did hate the guy's guts.

"Are you, um, are you okay?" I finally asked after ages of silence.

I heard another sniffle come from his direction.

"Why would you care?" Y/N spat.

I approached slowly.

"Well, you're crying and-"

"Oh so now that I'm crying you suddenly care about me?" I stepped back again. "You don't have to pretend to give a shit just because I'm upset. You hate me, and I hate you. Let's just keep it that way."

I took a deep breath and resolved to sit on my bed, facing away from him. If he was going to be like that, I didn't want to deal with him. I closed my eyes and started going over the Fibonacci Sequence in my head to pass time.

"My parents found out that I'm gay," I heard his sudden, soft voice say through a sniffle.

My heart softened just a little bit at the words. I knew how hard it was to come out, how painful it was to get rejected. Even more so when you were forced out of the closet instead of coming out of your own free will.

"It didn't go well, then," I whispered. It was more to myself than to him, but he heard it anyway.

"What gave you that idea, Einstein?" he said bitterly. I could hear the hurt in his voice.

"I'm sorry. What did they say?"

"Why should I tell you?"

I sighed and got up off of my bed to go over to his and sit next to him. With the little bit of light that was in the room, I could faintly see Y/N's face. His eyes were red and puffy, and his cheeks were stained from tears. I wondered how long he'd been crying.

"I'm trying to help," I told him. "Talk to me."

I could see him contemplate opening up to me. Eventually, he wiped his eyes with shaky hands and looked down while picking at his nails.

"They said that I'm disgusting and that I'm going to Hell," Y/N admitted. My heart broke at the words.

"How'd they find out?" I asked gently.

"I was texting with my sister about a guy I like and she accidentally texted my parents instead of me. They figured it out from there."

A single tear rolled down his cheek. I fought the urge to wipe it from his face.

"I'm so sorry," I murmured. "How can I help you feel better?"

Y/N shrugged. He looked so defeated, I felt bad about the way I'd treated him throughout the case.

"What about this guy?" I asked. "Maybe you want to tell me about him?"

"I'd rather not," Y/N said as he cleared his throat. I noticed him visibly stiffen. After a moment of silence, he spoke again. "I know I act like a dick." I kept my mouth shut. "I have to be the smartest person in the room, and I have to do everything right."

I let out a short laugh as he admitted what we'd both known all along. This must have been his way of apologizing, so I let him continue.

"But that's not really me," Y/N admitted quietly. "I'm so insecure. I feel like I need to prove myself to everyone because, well, my whole life I've been fed the narrative that I should be ashamed of who I am. I guess I try to overcompensate."

I hesitantly reached over and put a hand on his shoulder. This man that I'd hated for so long was baring his soul to me, and I felt like I didn't deserve it.

"I'm so sorry," I repeated for the umpteenth time. "I didn't know. If I did, I wouldn't have been so rude to you." Then, I decided to take a chance. "So about that guy..."

Y/N shifted away from me uncomfortably.

"I kind of like a guy too," I whispered, slightly hoping he wouldn't hear me. "If that makes you feel any better."

In the pale moonlight, I could see his eyes grow wider. He turned to me with a shocked expression, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"But-" he cut himself off before he could say anything stupid. I shot him a sheepish grin. A wave of understanding washed over him, and he smiled slightly. "Can I..."

Instead of giving him a verbal answer, I leaned in and planted a soft kiss on his lips. I started to pull away, but his hands caught my face and pulled me back in. I sighed into the kiss, and Y/N smiled. He tasted like mint and strawberries. I didn't want the moment to end.

But of course, nothing lasts forever. Once we separated, Y/N began to cry again. This time, it was a strong, shaking cry that overtook his whole body. Panic set in as I wondered if I shouldn't have done that. I pulled Y/N close and rocked him back and forth with me while playing with his hair and whispering words of affirmation to him.

"What's wrong?" I asked, afraid of what the answer might be. I desperately didn't want him to think our kiss was a mistake.

"We just... we've been fighting this whole time," he said between sobs. "We both knew. Don't lie, I know you knew it too. And yet, we spent this whole time fighting."

"It's okay," I assured him. "We can't take back the past, but we can change the future."

I planted another soft kiss on his cheek and guided him to lay down in his bed. Once he was situated under the covers, I crawled into the bed next to him. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer.

"I love you," he choked out into my chest.

"I love you, too," I told him and pulled him even closer. "We'll get you through this. I promise."

Y/N nodded and cried until he was all tired out. We held each other tightly as we both drifted off to sleep, unsure of what may lay ahead. As I shut my eyes, I thought to myself, maybe Hotch was right.

[dawnrider]

I've had this sitting in "The Vault" for quite some time... But we'll blame @heavenin--hell for this week's #fuckitfriday anyway. 😘 Mochi

Several years ago, she would have been frightened by the way he seemed to melt from out of a shadowed corner. Now she was more or less accustomed to the comings and goings of her husband. His crimson eyes took her in where she sat brushing out her hair before bed. “Are you going out?” she asked him softly.

“Iie. Aotobo and Kurotabo are patrolling in my place tonight.”

“Oh? And why would that be?” she feigned ignorance. She knew well that Rikuo had been sticking closer to home… to her, for the last several days. What she hadn’t figured out yet was why. Was there some danger? It was unlike him to stay home to defend instead of going out to meet the danger head on...

Especially since the only thing he’d been doing the last several nights was keep her in bed.

His smirk made her heart flutter, but she tried to show no outward sign of the way he affected her. “Kana, I think you know exactly why I’m here with you instead of out prowling the night.” One eyebrow rose in challenge when she continued to play stupid. Suddenly he was in front of her, leaning over her and breathing her in. “It is time,” he murmured. She wasn’t exactly sure what he meant by that, but his actions left no room for question as to what he intended to do.

“Rikuo…”

“Hai, my love,” he whispered in Kana's ear as he carried her easily to their futon.

It never got old, hearing him call her that. After years of friendship, nearly a year of confusion and terror, Rikuo finally confessed to Kana the first year of high school. First as a human, then in his youkai form. His human confession was sweet and sincere. While he had gained some of the same confidence he had in youkai form as a human boy, he was still nervous. He told her he’d been in love with her forever, and asked her to please consider going on a date with him right after school. Before the sun went down. Kana agreed and they had a wonderful time. They played at the arcade and took pictures in the photobooth. She had expected him to take her home right after, but he didn’t.

In a dark alley, he pulled her aside to give her a shaking first kiss. A simple press of lips, soft breaths through their noses. His kiss changed as the sun set, becoming more confident and a little demanding. His tongue boldly slipped between his lips to taste hers before retreating. Startled, Kana pulled back to look at him. She barely swallowed a scream when she realized he’d changed. It took her a moment to understand. “This whole time. They were both you this whole time,” she breathed. He gave her that smirk of his before leaning in to gently nibble her lower lip.

“Kana-chan,” he whispered, his voice slightly deeper. "I've wanted to tell you since your thirteenth birthday." The night he took her to the Bakeneko the first time. When he gave her the mirror she so treasured. “Youkai don’t… date. What I want from you is much more serious, more permanent.” She looked up into those red eyes, expecting to be frightened but only feeling… safe. “During the day, we can carry on the type of relationship that is normal for human teenagers our age. At night, I will court you as a youkai would his mate.”

“Mate?”

“Aa. I wish for you to become my mate. My wife.” He sighed, taking a moment to gently kiss her once more. She melted against him, hands clenching in his shirt, a near-silent whimper leaving her throat. “I understand that it seems sudden and that we are young. I only wanted to be clear about my intentions so there would be no confusion.” It was rather bold of him, but the honesty made Kana smile, affirming why she had always liked both the human and youkai sides of what she now knew to be Rikuo.

[areluctantsblog]

My first fill for the starker bingo is ready! It's for the young!Tony square. You can read it on ao3.

Today we escape

Summary: Tony and Peter's lives change forever when they are outed as gay and as a couple.

Warnings: homophobia, mentions of violence and blood

Words: 1.5k

***

"Tony!" It's his boyfriend's voice but barely recognisable. It's breaks as soon as he gets his name out and he can hear him sobbing.

Tony jumps up in the middle of robotics lab and runs out to the corridor, his chest tight with worry.

"What happened? Peter? Talk to me," he pleads.

"It's… It's…" Peter hiccups, unable to form words.

"Where are you, baby?" Tony asks, whispering.

At that Peter only cries harder. Anguished, Tony waits.

"It's Flash," Peter chokes out. He takes a few deep breaths and manages to continue. "Took my phone. Posted a picture of…" his boyfriend's voice breaks again, but Tony doesn’t need him to say anymore to figure out what happened.

"Where are you?" he asks in a firm voice.

"Home," Peter whines.

"Pack your bags. Lock your door. I'll pick you up in ten minutes," he says, already returning to the classroom for his bag.

As soon as he opens the door every eye turns to him. They saw. Tony doesn't react in any way. He packs up his project, grabs his backpack and walks out without a word.

"You still there?" he asks as soon as he's out of the classroom.

"Yeah," Peter breathes. He seems to have stopped crying but he sounds shocked.

"We've got to go," Tony says hurrying down the corridors. "You know that, right?" That photo is going viral in their town as they are speaking. Maybe it's already reached the sheriff's office. Even if it hasn't, they have very little time to escape.

"I… Yes, yes, I know…"

Tony isn't mad for the hesitation in Peter's voice. Their life as they know it is over. Tony remembers the paralysing fear and shock that comes with it. He felt it when they did what they did to Harley. Tony knew ever since that he was only biding his time, waiting for high school to be over and to leave this town and never look back.

"We'll talk about it, I promise," he says, revving up the car.

"Are you driving?" Peter asks. "Let's hang up."

"Nevermind that. I'll talk to you if you need me."

"I'll be seeing you soon. I… I need to pack anyway," he says in a trembling voice."

"Fine, baby. I'll be there in five," Tony promises.

***

Tony doesn't have any trouble climbing up to Peter's window in the middle of the night, so broad daylight only makes it easier. Peter is waiting for him just inside. He looks a right mess. Tony pulls him into a fierce hug as soon as he's inside.

"I'm here, I'm going to take care of you," he whispers soothingly.

Peter breaks down with sobs again but by the time he pulls back, he's got it under control. He points to the two packed bags on his bad.

"Are you sure?" he asks Tony in a pleading voice.

"You remember Harley," Tony says.

Peter sighs and nods.

"I do."

"It's horrible that it's happening to us, but I can't risk them coming after you," Tony argues.

"And you."

"They wouldn't stand a chance. Sheriff Stark would lock me up before they could get their hands on me," he says bitterly. Then he adds in a more pleading voice. "Peter we have to go. We have to get out of this jurisdiction before he closes it down. We'll stop and talk this through as soon as we are safe, I promise."

Peter straightens himself and nods, picking up the bags.

***

"My mother is in the living room, sobbing," Peter says in a distant voice, staring back at the house as Tony pulls out of the driveway. Tony reaches out to hold his hand and gives him a reassuring squeeze.

They drive in silence for a few minutes, when Tony's phone buzzes. It's his mother. He only hesitates a second before picking up.

"Sweetheart?" she asks, sounding out of breath.

"I'm here," Tony croaks, mouth suddenly dry.

"Where are you?"

"On my way," he says with a hint of defiance.

"Good," she says. "Which way are you headed?"

"Best if you don't know."

Silence. "Can you make it to the old gas station by 86?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm your mother and you can't run away without any clothes or money."

Tony's throats tightens and he lets out a shaky breath. It's enough for his mother.

"I'll meet you there," she says before hanging up.

Tony chances a glance at Peter. He's watching him with tears in his eyes.

"I wish I got a chance to say goodbye."

Tony's heart breaks and he can't find anything to say, so he just laces their fingers together and keeps driving.

***

The sirens of the approaching police cars in the distance do nothing to lift their spirits even though the county border is already behind them. Tony wonders what story his father cooked up to warrant his persecution. Everyone must have seen the picture by now and yet the good town folk will lap up the lies their beloved sheriff tells them.

Tony looks at Peter and feels a surge of hatred for Howard at the sight of his tortured expression. After a moment's deliberation, he pulls over.

"What are you doing?" Peter cries.

Tony gets out of the car, walks over to the passenger side and opens the door.

"Come here," he says, extending his hand.

Silent tears start running down Peter's cheeks, but he goes.

"I'm sorry," he sobs into Tony's shoulder.

"It's not your fault."

"He came over to borrow a book and as I turned to fetch it…"

Tony tightens his arms around Peter. He's always seen Flash as an annoying, obnoxious douchebag and wanted to kick his ass oh so many times for bullying Peter. But now, now the things he would do to him… He shudders.

"Shh, baby," he whispers, aiming for a soothing voice. "You've done nothing wrong," he adds more firmly.

"I love you, Tony," Peter says after a few minutes.

"I love you, too. And I'll take care of you, no matter what."

"And I you," Peter glances up at him, tears glistening on his lashes.

"I know, baby," Tony says, cupping his face and kissing him.

They get back on the road in a few minutes. The sirens are still not far enough.

***

Peter dozes off soon after. At least that what it seems like, but Tony can't see his face. When he stirs he looks around in confusion.

"86 isn't this way," he exclaims.

"No, it isn't," Tony says grimly.

"Why?"

"He could have been there."

"Oh, Tony…" Peter whispers, reaching out for his hand.

Tony swallows hard to steady his voice.

"I have a separate bank account that they can't control. I don't have too much on it, but it will get us through the first week. We'll have to find jobs."

"Of course," Peter says. "But where are we going?"

Tony made this decision a long before today but he's never shared it with Peter. He told himself stuff like waiting for the right time and seeing how things between them work out, even though he knew he loved Peter and he knew that Peter would understand. He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath before speaking.

"New York."

"What?!"

"We can disappear there. Get jobs, make our own way."

"But it's so far. And it's not safe! Is it?"

"Right now it's a hell of a lot safer than any place where we have a chance to run into the same people twice."

Peter doesn't reply just stares out of the window.

They keep driving for almost an hour in silence.

"My aunt lives there," Peter says as if continuing the conversation they were having.

It's Tony's turn to be surprised. "What?"

"We are not in touch. Some trouble between mum and her, I guess," he shrugs.

"Can she be trusted?" Tony ventures.

"I have no idea," Peter admits.

It would be so much safer to have an adult to turn to, even though they are both eighteen, but Tony is very reluctant to trust. He has no idea what to say, so they slip back into silence.

"Harley is there, too," Tony whispers hours later in the middle of the night. He clings to the memory of his best friend as he fights his exhaustion. He drives, so that he can see the bright smile Harley used to wear on his boyfriend's face again. So that they can be free like Harley wanted to be.

"Do you want to visit him?" Peter asks and Tony's surprised that he's awake.

"I never want to see him again," he says, the first drop of tear that day running down his face.

He's fought against the memory of Harley's blood stained face for years. He never wants to see his best friend paralysed and comatose. He keeps him alive within him and hopes that it's enough.

"We'll thrive," Peter affirms. He sounds older than this morning. "For Harley," he adds, voice cracking, "and for us."