#we're interdependent on each others

[spoonietimelordy]

Trying to ingrave into my mind that I should not feel invalidated by other systems functioning differently. Most did systems don't know about p-did, when they say things that hurt it's because it's true for them not because they think we're doing it wrong or something.

[saintmachina]

One million dollar question: is it true that the Bible condems homosexuality? I had a discussion with two conservatives who sent me some verses that seem to confirm that but i don't know much about the context although i know this is important too

Let’s start here: why is this the million dollar question? Why does it matter what the Bible has to say about sex, or love, or human relationships? At the end of the day, it’s just a book, right?

Oceans of ink (and blood) have been spilled over not only what the Bible says, but what it does, how it functions. The course of empires, nations, and families have been shaped by the contents of this book, and from a historical and cultural perspective, it holds a lot of weight. But you didn’t ask about the sociological, you asked about the theological, so let’s explore. 

Different Christian traditions vary in their approach to scripture. For example: some Protestant denominations believe that the Bible is inspired, inerrant, and infallible. In this paradigm, God is the ultimate author of scripture working through human hands, and the resulting text is both without error and in no way deceptive or mistaken. Similarly, The Second Vatican Council decreed that “the books of Scripture must be acknowledged as teaching solidly, faithfully and without error that truth which God wanted put into sacred writings for the sake of salvation.” When a member of the clergy is ordained into the Episcopal Church they swear that they “do believe the Holy Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments to be the Word of God, and to contain all things necessary to salvation.”

Can you see how many of these points of doctrine overlap yet seek to distinguish themselves from one another? Theologians have spent lifetimes arguing over definitions, and even when they manage to settle on solid teachings, the way that the teaching is interpreted by the clergy and incorporated into the lives of the laity varies WIDELY. As much as systematic theology may try, humans aren’t systematic beings. We’re highly contextual: we only exist in relation to others, to history, to circumstance, and to the divine. We simply cannot call up God to confirm church teaching, and I think a lot of people cling excessively to the Bible as a result of the ache (dare I even say trauma) of being separated from God via space and time in the way we currently are.

God is here, but God is not here. God is within us, God is within the beloved, God is within the sea and sky and land, and yet we cannot grasp God to our bodies in the way we long to. In this earthly lifetime, we are forever enmeshed in God, yet forever distinct, and that is our great joy and our great tragedy.

So barring a direct spiritual experience or the actual second coming, we're left to sort through these things ourselves. And because humans are flawed, our interpretations will always be flawed. Even with the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives guiding us.

When engaging with any sort of Biblical debate, it is essential that you have a strong understanding of what the Bible means to you, an an embodied individual living a brief little awful and wonderful life on Earth. Otherwise it's easy to get pushed around by other people’s convincing-sounding arguments and sound bites.

Here’s where I show my hand. As a confirmed Episcopalian I believe that reason, tradition, and scripture form the “three-legged stool” upon which the church stands, interdependent and interrelational to each other, but I’ve also like, lived a life outside of books. I’ve met God in grimy alleyways and frigid ocean waters and in bed with my lovers. So my stool is actually four-legged, because I think it’s essential to incorporate one’s personal experience of God into the mix as well. (I did not invent this: it’s called the Wesleyan quadrilateral, but the official Wesleyan quadrilateral insists that scripture must trump all other legs of the table in the case of a conflict which...*cynical noises*)

Please do not interpret this answer as me doing a hand-wavey "it's all vibes, man, we're all equally right and equally wrong", but I do absolutely think we have a responsibility as creatures to weigh the suffering and/or flourishing of our fellow creatures against teachings handed down through oral tradition, schisms, imperial takeover of faith, and translation and mistranslation. Do I believe the Bible is sacred, supernatural even, and that it contains all things necessary to find one's way to God, if that is the way God chooses to manifest to an individual in a given lifetime? Absolutely. Do I believe it is a priceless work of art and human achievement that captures ancient truths and the hopes of a people (as well as a record of their atrocities) through symbols, stories, and signs? Unto my death, I do.

However, I am wary of making an object of human creation, God-breathed though it may be, into an idol, and trapping God in its pages like God is some sort of exotic bug we can pin down with a sewing needle.

Finally, we have reached the homosexuality debate. One of my favorite sayings of Jesus is Matthew 5: 15-17: "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? In the same way, every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit." In other words: look at what religious teachings have wrought in the world. When I look at homophobic interpretations of the Bible, I see destruction, abuse, suffering, neglect, alienation, spiritual decay, and death. When I look at theology that affirms the holiness of LGBTQ+ relationships, I see joy, laughter, community building, thoughtful care, blooming families, creativity, resilience, and compassion. I see the love of Christ at work in the world. I see the hands of a God who chose under no duress to take up residence in a human body, to drink wine with tax collectors and break bread with sex workers and carry urchin children around on his shoulders. That's my limited little pet interpretation, but hey, that's all any of us really have, at the end of the day.

So, I am absolutely happy to do a play-by-play breakdown of why those passages you were given (we queer Christians often call them "clobber passages" or "texts of terror") don't hold water in a theological, historical, and cultural context. We can talk about Jesus blessing the eunuch and the institution of Greek pederasty and Levitical purity laws and Paul because I've done that reading. I've spent my nights crying in self-hatred and leafing through doctrine books and arguing with my pastors and writing long grad school essays on the subjects. Send me the verses, if you can remember them, and I'll take a look. But it's worth noting that out of the entire Bible, I believe there are only six that explicitly condemn homosexuality AND I'm being generous and including Sodom and Gommorah here, which is a willful and ignorant misreading if I've ever seen one.

In the meantime, I recommend books by people smarter than me! Try Outside The Lines: How Embracing Queerness Will Transform Your Faith by Mihee Kim-Kort, or Does Jesus Really Love Me by Jeff Chu, or Transforming: The Bible and the Lives of Transgender Christians by Austen Hartke!

And take a breath, dear one. Breathe in God, in the droplets of water in the air and in the wind from the south. Breathe in the gift of life, and know that you are loved, now and unto the end of the age and even beyond then.

[triumph-of-adaptation]

slo_action / grant.ionaton

We are located in Naarm, Australia. DM to join our discord and get plugged in.

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[dharmafox]

Please talk about Mononoke's feminist themes! For the record, I already agree; I just love reading your meta commentaries. 💚

Oh, thank you! I also love writing them, and I'm happy when people ask. 🙂

Just a warning, this got very long...

The Role of Daoism

I think at the core of Mononoke's treatment of feminism is the idea that men and women are fundamentally the same, in that the true nature of both is made up of the united "masculine" and "feminine." This view comes from Daoist philosophy, which considers the interdependence of yin (the "feminine") and yang (the "masculine") to be the true nature of all things. The interaction of these complementary energies is the source of all growth and change. Since growth and change are essential to life, the unity of "masculine" and "feminine" is also. In Mononoke, this not only means the life of a society, but also the life within each individual.

The human society in Mononoke is distorted because of the separation it creates between yin and yang. Women are denied their internal "masculine" and assigned only the "feminine" energy of submission and acceptance, while men are driven away from their internal "feminine" and assigned only the "masculine" energy of assertion, aggression, and emotional detachment. The warped social structure in which men control and exploit women depends on this internal alienation of individuals from themselves, and thereby also their external alienation from each other.

These divided "masculine" and "feminine" roles are an unsustainable denial of nature. The confusion and suffering they cause create the mononoke: expressions of the energies humans struggle to suppress. The Bakeneko, the Zashiki Warashi, the Nopperabou are all expressions of the rage that women aren't "supposed" to feel on their own behalf. The Umi Bozu is an expression of the feminine aspect of Genkei that he isn't "supposed" to feel and has come to fear.

Exorcising the mononoke requires drawing out these aspects and reconnecting humans with their real, complete selves. It requires a rebalancing of the "masculine" and "feminine" that gives women back their power and men back their hearts.

Birth As Transformation for Women

An important symbol of this kind of transformation is birth. In western feminism, we're wary (for good reasons) of birth being used to represent feminine power, but it's a central concept in Daoism: The manifestation of all new phenomena depends on the interaction of yin and yang. In Mononoke, childbirth symbolizes the emergence of positive change for women. Giving birth transforms them from static, submissive objects into complete beings who are no longer convenient for men to exploit. Their desire to have their children is a defiance of men's control over them.

This is clear in "Zashiki Warashi," where women are the victims of forced abortions so they can continue to be exploited as prostitutes. Having their children would free these women from prostitution, which not only explicitly treats women like property, but does so in a way that directly reinforces men's power over and lack of empathy toward them.

Unlike the men who use them, these women's children do not embody the alienated "masculine" but the women's own "masculine": parts of themselves that represent their wills and their potential for new and better lives. Their connection with their children is their connection with their true selves, the interlinked yin and yang and the growth and change that emerge from them.

When this "masculine" and the life it would create with them are cut off, they become a mononoke: an expression of the women's grief and rage at the denial of their natures.

Incidentally, their role as symbols of the "masculine" could be why all of the Zashiki Warashi appear to be male.

It's kind of subtle though.

This co-operative "masculine" and "feminine" and their power to transform are a threat to the system that relies on women being solely "feminine," submissive and unchanging. Those who depend on that system are desperate to destroy them.

This also happens to Shino: She is used by a man who turns on her the moment she is carrying a child. Shino's child is a threat to this man's power and status, and quite possibly represents a threat to humanity's entire dualistic psychological and social structure.

Shino chooses to embrace her will, her capacity for assertiveness and self-defense, in the face of everyone who tells her she's being "irresponsible" and "selfish." Her "masculinity" protects her, her child, and the potential for change they symbolize.

The themes of prostitution and childbirth that are prominent in "Zashiki Warashi" begin all the way back in the first "Bakeneko" with the way the Sakai family treats Mao. They're not only willing to effectively sell her off to another family in exchange for having their debts covered, but they're selling her to a man who is impotent - who can never give her children. Even before realizing just how badly the women in this society need change, the Medicine Seller recognizes this situation as bad for Mao specifically: he remarks that it's unfortunate for her, with no reference to the man or his family.

The Medicine Seller knows that the denial of childbirth deprives Mao of something that is rightfully hers: her own potential for transformation and growth.

The Alienation of Masculine and Feminine Results in Stasis and Death

"Nopperabou"

Ochou's and Lady Ruri's stories don't use this childbirth metaphor (except perhaps by the absence of childbirth), but these stories also carry the themes of prostitution and death. Ochou is effectively prostituted by her mother, who submits her daughter to men's control in exchange for property. The man Ochou is married to sees women as objects to be purchased and used.

Because Ochou is burdened with a sense of moral obligation (the same form of manipulation used against all the women in "Zashiki Warashi") to fulfill her "feminine" role, she fights against the drive to embrace her own "masculine" - the Nopperabou. The unresolved conflict between her guilt and the need to accept her complete nature traps her in an endless cycle of suffering and death: she lashes out at her abusers but cannot fully integrate her power or escape her mother's manipulation.

This guy's a big help.

Without true unity with her "masculine," Ochou cannot change. Once she understands the root of her guilt, she's able to move past it, and she becomes complete again. Once she's reunified with it, her "masculine" energy serves her real needs - it gives her the strength to leave the cycle of suffering behind, setting her free instead of keeping her trapped. This change finally gives her the "new life" she sought.

The fact that the part of herself that Ochou lost as a child first appears as a duplicate of her shows that this "masculine" is not something separate from her "feminine." Like Genkei and Oyou in "Umi Bozu," Ochou and her "missing half" were together in the beginning, and were never meant to be the separate "male and female" that they appeared to be.

"Umi Bozu"

In "Umi Bozu," Genkei, like Ochou, has been split in two, this time by the rejection of his "feminine" self. He's struggled for years to move on and to reach enlightenment, but he can't let go of the memory of his sister. At the beginning of the arc, Genkei is clearly old and approaching death, but he's realized that he can no longer avoid his sister's memory.

The Medicine Seller equates Genkei's fear of Oyou with a fear of his own heart - perhaps even meaning that they are one and the same. When Genkei's fear is understood as the cause of the mononoke, he literally splits in two. His missing half takes the form of the mononoke, which, when the Medicine Seller exorcises it, becomes a feminine form that literally re-enters Genkei and transforms him. Through the reunification with his "feminine," Genkei dies but is "reborn."

Into a twink.

"Nue"

The "Nue" arc's main theme is stasis and death, and it again explores the use and exploitation of women, men's lack of empathy toward them, and the inescapable connection between them. This arc shows a man's violence toward a woman rebounding on him immediately: Nakarai kills Lady Ruri, finds himself covered in wounds, and dies. Killing her kills him as well.

It's quite funny. I mean horrible.

Muramachi and Robou also treat Lady Ruri as nothing more than a tool to get what they want. Their disregard for her life and humanity is so egregious that they rummage around her murdered body looking for the Todaiji they planned to marry her for, and they joke about having a "wedding ceremony" after they compete for its possession. The Medicine Seller, who usually (certainly not always) maintains calm in the face of humans' reprehensible actions, is openly shocked and angry at their behavior.

This guy's whole life is witnessing horrors. If he's looking at you like this, you've truly fucked up.

All three of these men have been trapped in endless stasis and death by their complete focus on their own desires. They see Lady Ruri as nothing more than a conduit for those desires, leaving them utterly disconnected from her humanity.

Their disconnection from her is accompanied by disconnection from themseves, to the point where they're unaware of their own deaths. As with Genkei, accepting those deaths is their only way of escaping them and being "reborn"; otherwise, like Ochou, they remain trapped in an unchanging cycle.

This arc, like the others, implies that all of the men and women in it are interdependent, with each of the female forms of the Nue appearing through the perceptions of each of the men. They appear separate, but neither could exist without the other.

Fear

Genkei's story not only shows stasis and death as a result of his alienation from his sister, but also explores the root cause of men's resistance to their "feminine": fear. The men in Mononoke depend on the isolation of their "masculine" identities for a sense of safety. The identity that Genkei has spent his life building up is defined by pushing away all emotion, all vulnerability - all in an effort to hide from his feelings for his sister. The longer he clings to this isolated self, the stronger his fear becomes.

Rejoining Oyou means becoming completely vulnerable, letting her and all the feelings she brings with her inside him. The Medicine Seller tells him that this will kill him, and in a sense it does: His old self is replaced by his "reborn" one.

Facing this fear and embracing the "weakness" of the "feminine" is a profound act of courage, one that makes Genkei stronger and freer. Accepting his "feminine" is his strength.

Unlike Genkei, Sakai and Moriya in "Bakeneko" #1 and #2 never develop this courage. They remain crippled by fear until it destroys them completely. As they continue to deny how much they've hurt women, they become more and more terrified - of women, their own "feminine," and the pain and anger they've poured into them. Their attempts to grasp at safety by rejecting and attacking women make them feel less and less safe as their own inescapable "feminine" and women's inescapable "masculine" demand acknowledgement, growing in power and anger until they become the Bakeneko.

In "Bakeneko" #2, Moriya is the embodiment of the link between misogyny and cowardice; he blatantly exhibits both. Setsuko's will, her "masculine," threatens him with the truth and with the fragility of his status, both in his relationship with her and in society. And Setsuko's "feminine," her more vulnerable emotions, terrify him as well. He can't face these combined aspects of her - and of his - true self, and he is left with abject terror, constantly seeking safety behind his misogyny.

In "Bakeneko" #1, Sakai remains terrified throughout the arc of having to confront his truth. Right up to the last he keeps denying it, and he sits frozen in fear when the Medicine Seller tells him he has to turn around and look at what he's done. Sakai can't face his complete nature, because the schism between the "masculine" and "feminine" in him is so deep that his "masculine" has become a monster and his "feminine" is filled with pain. Acknowledging his real "feminine" would mean feeling what he's done, and acknowledging his real "masculine" along with it would mean fully understanding the horror of what he's become.

Yeah, asshole.

Unfortunately for Moriya and Sakai, there's no escape from their fear except through the "feminine" - through letting go of their resistance and accepting their destruction. They must die, transform, and be reborn from the cosmic "yin."

This is true for everyone whose internal divisions have created mononoke. The only one who can remain unchanged by the death and rebirth of yin is the one for whom the "masculine" and "feminine" are already unified.

Kind of tickles honestly.

I could say more; I could talk about the Medicine Seller himself; I could talk about how he relates to women and the "feminine" and how much his own path depends on them, but I've said a lot of that before, and I think I've covered the bigger concepts as I see them. There can't be much doubt about Mononoke's feminist themes. Its message is not only that society's treatment of women has historically been grotesque and horrible but that it's a denial of nature, one for which there will always be a price to pay.

[radioactivewisdom]

I always laugh at feminists encouraging female solidarity as though that will "dismantle patriarchy." Why would, for example, a mother with a son dismantle the same system her son will inherit and benefit from? That mother would uphold it with her life.

Single and childfree females are arguably the smallest minority on the planet, smaller if you had permanently celibate. Those of us who want true independence rather than interdependence at the cost of sacrificing ourselves to benefit a worldwide system that doesn't benefit us need to have a completely different life strategy.

Religion, policy, culture, and one could even say biology all oppose a female who wishes to be independent and free. I feel community is something we cannot afford because our way of living is so rare and even detested. Therefore solidarity with other women is costly because those women are invested in upholding the same shit we're trying to break free from. It's like being at war with the entire planet.

Precisely written and absolutely true. Solidarity cannot exist when motives differ individually. Women like ourselves have no business being aligned with those who endorse the things we’ve broken free from. This world benefits both men and women who think like them. That’s the majority, and as you’ve said, those of us who aren’t interested are treated as pariahs. The response to separatism in even “radical” spaces is more proof that what women are after is patriarchy with better prizes. Our solidarity comes from the fact that despite not knowing each other personally, we’ve all reached the same conclusion. Even receiving this message makes me more grateful to the journey we’ve all chosen to be on. Thank you for sharing, I know others will find your words helpful as well.

[themusingmuslim]

Sometimes it feels like we're living in a world that values independence over interdependence. But the truth is, we need each other more than ever. When we're hurting, it's easy to retreat into ourselves and try to deal with the pain on our own. But that's not sustainable, and it's not healthy. We need to remember that there is strength in vulnerability, and that it's okay to ask for help when we need it. We all have struggles, but when we come together and support each other, healing becomes a collective journey. That's really how we truly heal. Together.

[annbourbon]

[[Name]]less

"Names are very important. Names have power. It doesn't matter if it's living or not. Once you give it a name you embodied that person or object. With the same anount of power." Says Yuuko in XxXHolic.

And I'm so sorry it took me so long to remember this quote~~

The irony is that it's not the first time listening to this. So let's delve into your name and why it's important. Especially in magical settings.

But to do that we need to be remembered of The Karmic Laws. Especially these:

You create your reality ~ Interconnection ~ Responsibility ~ Ripple Effect

You create your own reality.

You are chained down by your actions, words, and thoughts.

By now we all are fully aware of the Attraction Law. In truth, this has nothing to do with magic but with the way you are (remember that Karma is nothing but cause~effect) Hence why there's this urgency in curating our own life. To consume media carefully designed to better our lives and not the contrary. However not everyone does this. And even less people pay attention to the way they behave or are around others. We all are self-fulfilling prophecies. But have you ever thought of yourself helpless? That's because you have allowed others to take control and dictate your own reality.

Responsibility

You are responsible for your own happiness. However, you are also allowed to ask for something that it's not happiness. Yes, as strange as it seems, more often than not in our world, we strive for other emotions that are not happiness.

The question is if we're to break the compromise we have towards our own self.

Interconnection & Ripple Effect

No matter how small the problem is, how small the thing is, it always affects the people around you. We are not alone in this world.~ Yuuko Ichihara.

Your actions. Your food. All, from the clothes you wear to the place where you live. The people who bring food to your place and those who spent months cultivating them for you to eat. We are connected.

There's a term called interconnection or interdependence. The more you explore it the more grateful and terrified are of it. Grateful because our bonds are not easily broken. Terrified because of the way we affect others. We hold responsibilities just by existing. When we communicate our worries and fears, or our hopes. These, that are only of our own, end up chaining others as well.

That's why compliments can be complicated to come by sometimes.

To speak too much positivity will lead a person to find themselves as terrified of making mistakes as if you'd scream in disappointment. In both ways, chained.

Wish more of us would wonder about the effects our words have on others. How many people do we affect every day without realizing? How has what escaped from my lips weighed on those people?*

Frightening things, these words. Once they’ve escaped a person lips, they can never be returned. Once heard, they can never be ignored. Still, people throw them out far to lightly, often unaware of the chains they create.~ Ichihara Yuuko.

For another example, Chihiro name was tied to her memories too. Without her name she would have been trapped forever.

And even the name change wasn't fortuitous. Sen [[ 千 · せん ]] means thousand in Japanese. Not exactly subtle when it comes to name changes but the goal is reached anyways~ as the question arises: Are we able to navigate between a sea of thousands of people each day, sharing perspectives, opinions, being tied one to another in more ways than one~ and still keep our identity intact?

After all, names are a symbol. A symbol of our own identity. Tied to our mind. Though a name as Juliet in Shakespeare says, doesn't really matter for in essence a rose keeps smelling equally sweet. The names are in many ways, tied to our emotions and memories. There's a quote that explains it way better than me~

"Names have power, like magic spells. All of the sudden it seemed that her stepmother and stepsisters had indeed transformed her into merely a creature of ash and toil.” ~ Cinderella, live action. (2015)

Now that we have talked about that, we're gonna have to go back to fairies.

Mythology ~ Changelings

A changeling was a substitute left by a supernatural being when kidnapping a human being. Sometimes the changeling was a 'stock' (a piece of wood made magically to resemble the kidnapped human), more often the changeling was a supernatural being made magically to look like the kidnapped human. Supernatural beings blamed for stealing children included fairies, demons, trolls, nereids and many others. Usually, the kidnapped human was a child; but there were cases, particularly in Scandinavia and Ireland, where adults were taken.

Wikipedia

And

It was thought that fairies could only change their weakly and more starveling elves for the more robust offspring of men before baptism. In the Highlands, children used to be watched until the christening was over, lest they should be stolen or changed by the fairies.

Pantheon.org

There are several stories about changeling. Usually those were nothing but ways to explain why certain babies were dying, sick or different, in an autistic way but for the era they used what they could to explain it. And if I'm not mistaken, even though right now I couldn't find it, one of the methods for "having your kid back" was to call it by the name you would have given to before they were taken away. Acknowledging the presence of the changeling. Although other methods were much more bloody and included to torture the changeling. Or to guess for the name of the changeling.

One of the stories, if not about changelings about names and how important they are, it's Rumpelstiltskin.

A character who is presented to us as a mysterious gnomelike man who spins straw into gold for the benefit of a beautiful miller's daughter, in exchange for her future firstborn child.

Britannica.

When the gnome reappears to demand his payment the young woman, now a queen, cries and asks for mercy. He gives her three days to find his real name or he'll take her daughter. In the end she wins of course, and gets to keep the child and that's how we get to now his name is Rumpelstiltskin.

However, by bringing on this story I had another purpose too, as the story of Rumpelstiltskin summarizes in perfection several Karmic Laws:

You create your reality ~ Interconnection ~ Responsibility ~ Ripple Effect ~ Truthfulness

The moral of the story is, “Always tell the truth, and take responsibility of your actions”. If the miller’s daughter (in some variations is the father, but that only adds more weight to our interconnections and the ripple effect these have) had been truthful to the King, she would have never found herself in this situation. However, once she was trapped under the burden of her promise, she had to find her way out of it and honour the deal.

(...) Which is another way to learn never to accept deals from strangers without fully understanding the consequences and expectations.

FirstCry.com

Remember the deals and contracts I told you about in my last posts? Well~ as I said, things tend to connect.

And finally~ how does this ties to the Cheritzverse?

Well, for starters~ it's interesting to notice how the first game (Dandelion) did not allowed us to change the MC name. Her name is Heejung. That's it. However she loses her memories by the end of the game.

And this sets the second game~ Nameless. Making a big deal out of lost memories. And even better~ the game this time allows us to change the protagonist name. While her name is originally still there~ Eri. Now you have the power to change it.

By Mystic Messenger the MC has no name at all. And also, no memories and no eyes. Historically eyes are tied to our soul. To our emotions. I'll talk about this later in another post.

The Ssum not only goes as far as letting us change our own name, but our S.O. name too. And as players, some features are unlocked when you change the names, especially to the RFA members.

In the end, I don't think it's a coincidence the way it's played out. Especially not when we know the Wizard loves to take memories as a method of payment.

⋆ ₊ ﾟ ☽ * ₊ ⋆* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊⋆ ₊ ﾟ ☽ * ₊ ⋆

Links:

* Words are living beings

* Spirited Away

* Wiki - Changelings

* Changelings

* Rumpelstiltskin

* Britannica ~ Rumpelstiltskin

[marsduality]

From The Power of Attachment by Diane Poole Heller

[Text ID:

AN INTRODUCTION TO ATTACHMENT STYLES

The human attachment system is an inherent, biological, and natural process that relates to everything we do in life, especially when it comes to our relationships with others. Although secure attachment is what we're after here, it's important to note that whatever attachment style we live with evolved to keep us safe. Even insecure attachment patterns are designed to help us survive dangerous situations, and none of these styles are set in stone. The next four chapters look at each of these four adaptations in depth and provide ways to work with them. Here's a quick overview to get us going:

Secure Attachment. This is the type of attachment in the ideal situation described earlier. Securely attached people typically grew up with plenty of love and support from consistently responsive caregivers, and as adults they are interdependent, connecting with others in healthy, mutually beneficial ways. 'They are okay both in connection and on their own; they can think with fexibility, can perceive a range of possibilities, are comfortable with differences, and resolve conficts without much drama. They can internalize the love they feel from others and forgive easily.

Avoidant Attachment. People with this attachment style have a tendency to keep intimacy at arm's length or to diminish the importance of relationships. They often were neglected: left alone too much as children, rejected by their caregivers, or their parents weren't present enough (or only present when teaching them some type of task). Avoidants have disconnected- put the brakes on-their attachment System, so reconnecting to others in safe and healthy ways is extremely important

Ambivalent Attachment. People with the ambivalence adaptation deal with a lot of anxiety about having their needs met or feeling secure in being loved or lovable. Their parents might have shown them love, but as children they never knew when their parents might get distracted and utterly pull the rug out from underneath them. Their care was unpredictable of notably intermittent. They be hypervigilant about relational slights or any hint of abandonment, which amps up their attachment system into overdrive. Anticipating the impending inevitability of abandonment that they are convinced is coming, they often feel sad, disappointed, or angry before anything actually happens in their adult relationships. For ambivalents, consistency and reassurance are paramount.

Disorganized Attachment. This attachment style is characterized by an excess of fear, and the attachment system is at cross purposes with the instinct to survive threat. When stressed, sick, or frightened, a child naturally wants to seek comfort and protection from a loving parent, but what do they do when the same Parent is the source of fear or distress? People with this style can get stuck in a threat response and/or swing between avoidance and ambivalence without much of an identifiable pattern. They often suffer from psychological and physical confusion. Disorganized parents may fear their own children. As children, they saw their parents as threatening, or their parents simply emanated an atmosphere of fear or dread due to their own unresolved trauma. Disorganized folks are often emotionally dysregulated, dealing with sudden shifts in arousal, or dissociated and checked out. Since they are prone to the most disturbance, reestablishing a fundamental sense of regulation and relative safety are the most important things for people with this attachment style.

End id]

[keanuquotes]

Alexandra Grant is shedding new light on her relationship with boyfriend Keanu Reeves!

The accomplished visual artist, 50, attended the Los Angeles Beverly Arts Icon Awards on Friday sans Reeves, 59, and when asked if it is harder or easier to tackle red carpets alone, gave a thoughtful answer.

“The good news about falling in love as an adult is that I had built my own career by the time that my relationship had begun,” she tells PEOPLE. “I feel very confident in the relationship on the red carpet. I feel confident on it alone.”

"It's interdependent and independent in the best ways,” she adds.

While Grant, an honoree at the ceremony, hit the red carpet solo at The Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles, she has been photographed at several events with Reeves since the pair made their public debut as a couple in 2019.

When asked how she and the John Wick star — who started off as friends and collaborators — interact with each other’s professional environments, Grant began her response by recalling a moment she felt stuck creatively.

“In a moment of frustration in my life, I once said, ‘Sometimes I feel like a Maserati stuck in traffic,' that I have this big engine, but, for a variety of reasons, that I couldn't ever go,” she tells PEOPLE. “And I know a lot of people feel frustrated in their lives, that they're not able to run their engine.”

She adds: “I think every creative person feels that way.”

“What I love about Keanu and our exchange is that we're pushing each other to build new roads,” she says. “Seeing the other person's problem-solving is inspiring, like, ‘Oh, well, okay, this one, that's a cul-de-sac. How do I try this other thing?’ ”

“He's such an inspiration to me,” she continues. “He's so creative, he's so kind. He works so hard.”

Grant also shares that “storytelling is at the heart” of what both she and her actor boyfriend do.

“My work is much more of a private performance, but I have a text that I interpret in the studio into a painting, into an object,” she says. “He takes the text in private and then turns it into a performance in public. There's a relationship. We're both at the heart readers and researchers. We both care about people and we care about characters.”

Grant went on to compare her and Reeves’ creative worlds using a metaphor.

“I think there's a lot of similarities,” she began. “Sometimes I feel like, to make a film, as we're seeing now in the strike, that it's a cruise ship. Everyone is dependent on everyone else. You can't go off and— being an artist, maybe at the beginning of my career, I was in a kayak on the sea of creativity. Now maybe it's a small speedboat, but it's still a lot more nimble.”

“I think that is very inspiring for him,” she said of Reeves and the “cruise ship”-like nature of making a movie.

She continues, “To make a film, you require hundreds of people. To be an artist, you don't. You require one. You require a community to get the work into the world, but not to actually make it. I think part of the inspiration is the differences of scale.”

According to Grant, her art has “absolutely” changed since she began dating Reeves in 2019.

“I had a studio visit a few years ago, and this very kind, very high-level person said, 'I can see that your work has gotten happier,’ ” she remembers. “That's real. We're all human beings. We're animals. We're expressing from where we are and certainly feeling happier. I think the work is happier.”

Both Grant and Reeves dedicated their Friday nights to art. The Matrix star had to miss the ceremony to perform with his band Dogstar, according to Grant.

“I'm really proud,” she says. “I am a huge Dogstar fan. I had the great pleasure of going to their first public show and because I've been listening to the latest album for quite some time, I was one of the only people in the audience who knew all the lyrics. That was really cool. It's fun. It's beyond fun.”

She continues, “I was dancing to all the lyrics and then I looked around and I was like, ‘Nobody has heard the album except for me and a few people.’ It's been a real pleasure to see the guys come back together, to be so creative and supportive of one another.”

Grant says she is “so proud” and “happy” for Reeves’ alternative rock band, which reunited this year for the first time in 20 years.

“I'm glad they're able to do it,” she says, adding that she thinks it’s “really great that Keanu has the ability to pivot to being a musician” amid the Writers Guild of America (WGA) and SAG-AFTRA strikes.

“They had been playing music and rehearsing and they had already recorded most of the album before the strike,” she adds. “What it opened up was more time to go on the road.”

[bookish-bogwitch]

Trope Grading Game aka Grope Trading Game

Thanks for the tags @artsyunderstudy, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, and @aristocratic-otter! This seems like a lot of fun.

@ileadacharmedlife @moodandmist @facewithoutheart @skee3000 @ivelovedhimthroughworse @cutestkilla @thewholelemon @raenestee, and everyone whose fic is mentioned below and everyone reading this, consider yourself tagged if you haven't gone!

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 - don’t care either way

+10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

Age gap: -2

Not into it at all for younger characters, but I don't mind for older ones. I haven't read a lot of couples with bigger age gaps but I wouldn't rule out enjoying it in the right context--though I can't see being into it for the sake of the trope itself. (I love you for you, Malcolm Grimm.) Codependency: Interdependency: +7

The template asks about codependency but I finally looked up what codependency means and it's about an uneven relationship where a partner, friend, or family member subsumes their own needs in the course of accommodating / enabling another person's destructive behavior. Is that anyone's jam? There's a reason Rainbow skipped the 12 months between the CO epilogue and the start of WS...

But if we're talking interdependency, then I'm super into it. Octavia Butler was right: "dependency is sexy if it's chosen and not coercive. Symbiosis is a kind of dependency. A dependency of equals is best." Snowbaz symbolizes this with the whole hot/cold body temp thing, which is #sharingabedgoals, and there's lots of great fic in this fandom exploring it, my all-time fave being @fatalfangirl's stunning Bound and Determined.

Obsession/Possessiveness, jealousy: +2

Obsession, sure, sign me up. What is Simon at all those football practices if not obsession?

And I can get behind jealousy as a device for revealing the depth of otherwise hidden or even denied feelings. But active, power-and-control-wheel possessiveness? Gross.

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): +5

Yeah! I love watching the grump's walls come down. But with the caveat that the sunshine can't be a one-dimensional, manic pixie dream character, because the that's just boring and I don't care about them.

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: +5

What snowbaz fan isn't into this? But a key element for me is that there has to be some reason behind the initial enemies dynamic besides one or both of them just being an asshole. Maybe they think that's what's up at first and then learn otherwise, but if their enemy status is based on something real, like they genuinely hate each other based on accurate knowledge about each other, I find it implausible and probably also difficult to like one or both of them.

That's part of why Snowbaz works for me: Baz and Simon's enemy status was imposed on them by a fucked up political system and abusive caretakers. Left to their own devices they'd probably never have been enemies. The reason for their animosity is not the core of who they are.

Friends with benefits: +2

Ehhh is it benefits to full on love? I don't really connect with allo perspectives on sexual relationships, like I get them intellectually but I don't jive with them on an emotional level, so there has to be that emotional draw for me, that underlying romance. I mean tho, @fatalfangirl stacy is writing an excellent fic on this premise right now that I absolutely love because there are clearly feelings involved. But it also might fall more into the realm of the next trope on this list ... which is ...

What Ashton said 😂 also props to fandom for teaching me that I am demisexual, and that this is not a default mode of existence.

Sex to feelings: +100000000

It's the fucking BEST. You get to read all the smut and then the climax ISN'T "and then we did it," it's "and then we were emotionally intimate." You get to be horny and a sap.

I also think this trope inherently pushes writers' creativity because the relationship's progression can't follow standard mainstream romance beats. And the sex scenes usually have narrative significance by showing how the relationship is changing, which produces great writing.

Fake dating/relationship: +5

Yes, especially if there's lots of pining along the way! @captain-aralias's Unintended is a great example.

Friends to lovers: +3

I wouldn't say I seek this out specifically but there are so many great fics with this tag. Here are a few (but not all) of my favorites: I'd Gladly Eat You for Breakfast by @whogaveyoupermission What Remains After the Storm by @hushed-chorus Sixty Seconds by @artsyunderstudy Petrichor by @martsonmars And again Unintended by @captain-aralias

Found Family: +1

It's fine? I love moving proofs of love and affection outside of romance, but whether it's in something that fits the label "found family" or not is important to me.

Hurt/Comfort: +10

PUT IT DIRECTLY. INTO MY MOUTH. I am a fucking sap for hurt/comfort. It gives me the swoops. There is fucking nothing I like better than lovers (or almost lovers) comforting each other and taking care of each other, emotionally, physically, spiritually, whatever. It's sexy to me. It affects me deeply.

#WhatAshtonSaid. I literally have a WIP going where someone says "who did this to you??" just because I love it so much. I'm pretty sure Nightmares and Excuses was the first fic that made me cry. (It's not hard to do.)

Love Triangle: -8

Not my thing if there's genuine heartbreak / unrequited love floating around. That just bums me out. I get a kick out of the Agatha-Simon-Baz's confusion in CO, but only Penny thinks that's actually a love triangle. I think the only book I've ever loved with a "real" love triangle is Emma and even [SPOILER FOR 208-YEAR-OLD-BOOK] Harriet's not actually in love with Mr. Knightley, she just thinks she is.

Poly, open relationships: -4

Only if it's porn without plot and even then it's pretty rare that I'm into it. I'm not usually interested in sex scenes without a romantic/love element (even if that element is deeply repressed) and am personally very monogamous and have a hard time connecting with poly relationship themes. Which obviously does not mean that poly =/= emotional or romantic connection, not at all, it's just a tough one to wrap my head around.

@skee3000 nailed this for me in Minos, by having Simon and Baz connect with each other even as they have three-way with Mr. Minos, but now I'm conflating a threesome with poly/open relationships. Go read it anyway.

Mistaken/hidden identity: +2

Not sure I can think of a Snowbaz fic that focuses on this, although I'm sure there are some. I do like it when characters meet for the first time and are drawn to each other, only to learn that each other's larger identities make that complicated. And the trust issues that brings up. There are a couple of KJ Charles novels that deal with this really beautifully.

Monsterfucking: +5

I really love when monsterfucking is used as a way to celebrate difference and work through a character's feelings about their own body or its changes. This fandom does a great job with that. Otherwise I'm not drawn to any particular monsters for their monstery sake (but see: Minos's horns).

Pregnancy: -2

+8 for mpreg, -10 for other pregnancy.

I stalled out for two weeks on this post, wondering how to explain this without getting darker and more personal than I'd like. And then realized I don't have to explain 😃.

Second Chance: +7

Love it! I don't always have the heart to read the actual breakup, or falling out, or lost opportunity etc., but I love fics where that has already happened and we're seeing them put themselves back together. Some examples, that may or may not have this tag but definitely have this theme:

What's Left by @cutestkilla This Will All Go Down in Flames by @facewithoutheart There's Be Peace When You Are Done by somekindofpath Once More, with Feeling by fox_pitch

And probably countless others I'm forgetting.

Slowburn: +10

Yeah! I know I said I love sex before feelings but I love this too. (And I think they can be successfully combined into slow-feelings-burn.) There's nothing like a satisfying, well-earned payoff. I also admire well-executed slowburns because whenever I write a get-together fic I have to actively resist mashing their faces together in the first 100 words.

Soulmates: -1

In theory I don't love these. The red string, etc. It can just feel played out, and also the emotional logic of it is kind of alienating. I have a hard time putting my head into a world where people have these predestined connections and are trying to find each other because it's just so not how I see relationships. BUT when an author critically and playfully messes with the trope, it can be lots of fun. All This Soulmate Shit by half_witch mashes up a dozen different soulmate tropes to make something that's brilliant, funny, sexy, and feels like they are actively choosing each other rather than obeying destiny. I also adore Bound and Determined by @fatalfangirl for how it plays with the idea of free will and consent, which feel like soulmate-related theme. But it's probably not a coincidence that this fic doesn't have the "soulmates" tag.

That's a lot of me me me and what I think. What do YOU think, friends?

[flyawaybooks]

trying to explain my demisexuality to the guy I've been seeing might kill me

Trying to explain it to myself is also very difficult

so I'm just gonna ramble for a bit under the readmore and try and figure it out

the weird thing about things like physical affection is like. The way society has socialized us, there's either None (friendship) or All Including Kissing and Sex (dating/partners/whatever)

I feel like an awkward teenager because I Don't like the all or nothing toggle. Everyone I've ever grown to have a crush on has started as a friend, even if that friendship was started partially as wanting to get to know someone I aesthetically appreciate.

Honestly, I could see most of my close friendships turning into romantic relationships (sorry lol) if any of them were interested, which I don't think any of them are. But like. Knowing someone, spending time together, going through struggles together, supporting each other... that's the sort of stuff I feel like I need before I can even think about wanting a physical or romantic relationship. I don't think I could ever do a hookup or want to kiss someone, even if I found them aesthetically attractive, until we're more incorporated into each other's lives

Or like on another level, the kinds of friendships that I like to have probably look a lot like dating to other people. I like to treat my friends to nice things, spend hours at each other's houses, go to fun events together. I mean, friends do that too? I truly can't parse the difference if the functions of friendship vs romantic relationships other than social expectations and the assumption that physical intimacy are involved.

The main difference is that society has decided that you can pick someone to be your romantic partner to do those things with all the time, or they can be a friend where you maybe sometimes do a few of those things. I can't do everything all the time with one person, that would drive me crazy. I need interdependence, where I can go off and do my own thing, and the people I love (people!!! I need to circle back around to that eventually) can go off and do their own things too. It doesn't change the way we care for each other that we don't spend all our time together. I need variety AND I also need time to myself.

I'm not trying to say I'm an independent woman who doesn't need anyone, because I very much do need people. What I know is that my brain processes relationships in a way that is queer compared to societal norms. And I'm stuck in this place where I'm trying to figure out the difference between "I think we'd be really good friends but I have no interest in romance or sex" and "I think we'd be really good friends and also I think romance and sex could be cool part of that if everyone's onboard but also I'm chill if that's not it"

I don't want to lead people on. All I can say is that I've only ever been in one relationship where I even felt the compulsion to want to get more physically intimate, and that was not reciprocated in a way that I think confused both of us. I would have been happy with the relationship we had if he had asserted his boundaries better. But he knew I was interested in more physicality and (I think?) didn't want to disappoint me, so he crossed his own boundaries, or at least what I perceived of his boundaries.

And that's it! Do I just lack experience and that's the problem? maybe. Am I a lesbian in denial? I don't think so, given aforementioned relationship, but maybe? There's the part where like.... I truly don't care enough to spend time figuring it out that granularly, which leads me back to the demisexuality. I don't need a romantic or sexual relationship to feel fulfilled, but I'm not opposed to the idea of having one.

It's fucking complicated man!!!!! Have I talked in enough circles yet??

[lingshanhermit]

Lingshan Hermit: Mutual Dependence and Dominoes

While browsing through an album depicting the history of Tibetan Buddhism, I came across a particular thangka.

This ancient image contained four animals beneath a plant laden with fruit. At the bottom was an elephant, upon which stood a monkey. On the monkey's shoulders was a rabbit, and atop the rabbit's head perched a grouse. They appeared to be working together to pluck edible fruit from the tree.

In Tibetan Buddhism, this image symbolizes the truth of interdependence. Buddhism holds that nothing can exist without relying on other things, and therefore nothing possesses inherent existence.

White depends on black, cleanliness on filth, beauty on ugliness. If you hadn't grown up in China and eaten Chinese food, you wouldn't find the British meals you eat every day in London so unpalatable. If you hadn't seen your colleague's newly acquired latest Nokia model, you would never have thought your own phone was so outdated and unfashionable.

All phenomena lack inherent existence because they cannot exist independently. Beauty cannot exist without ugliness, nor can unpalatability without deliciousness.

Why do you consider this woman ugly? Because you've seen more beautiful women. If she were the only woman in the world from the beginning, no one would call her ugly (you might even propose to her), because without beautiful women as a reference, ugliness cannot exist. This proves that ugliness (or beauty) is not an inherent quality of things, but merely a label you assign.

When we speak of interdependence, you must understand that we're referring to all things: teacups, inspiration, Nippon Paint, and of course, the text you're viewing on your screen right now. It's an excellent example of interdependence. Without the desk, electricity, computer, hard drive, and all the components and wires that connect them, there would be no screen, and you wouldn't be able to read this article. Your computer needs the support of the desk, your desk needs the support of the floor, and your floor needs the support of the Earth. When they are interdependent, there seems to be a screen, allowing you to sit at the computer and enjoy this article. But when any link in this chain collapses (or changes), it will inevitably affect everything else.

If the elephant falls, the monkey will tumble down, followed by the rabbit and the grouse. A few years ago, a major power outage on the island of Taiwan caused great inconvenience to many people's lives. This made many realize the importance of others and how our lives depend on many people.

Your unintentional actions might contribute to the pollution of the Earth, and ultimately, you'll be affected too.

There are always subtle relationships between things that we can't fully comprehend, like a circle of dominos. When one domino falls, it will knock down the second, the second will knock down the third, the third will knock down the fourth, and so on until the last one, which will fall on top of the first. This is how the relationships between things work. When you hurt others, you end up hurting yourself.

Recognizing this is not without benefit. You will at least understand your responsibility and realize that each of your actions can potentially affect the world. When you influence the world, the world will, in turn, influence you (if you don't care about environmental protection, you'll end up drinking polluted water). Understanding that your life depends on many people will generate a sense of gratitude, and you won't feel so alone anymore.

In the West, there was a poem, I remember it was called "No Man Is an Island." In fact, nothing is an island; everything needs to rely on other things to exist. Light depends on darkness, music depends on those who appreciate it.

First published on November 20, 2007.

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灵山居士：互相依存与多米诺骨牌 

[harmonyhealinghub]

Embracing Interdependence: The Beauty of Relying on Others May 19, 2024 Shaina Tranquilino

In a world that often champions self-reliance and independence, the concept of relying on others can sometimes be perceived as a sign of weakness. We're encouraged to stand on our own feet, to be self-sufficient, and to navigate life's challenges independently. Yet, there's a profound beauty in acknowledging and embracing our interdependence, in recognizing that we are not solitary beings but interconnected threads in the intricate fabric of humanity.

At some point in our lives, each of us has relied on others, whether it be for emotional support during difficult times, practical assistance in accomplishing tasks, or guidance in making important decisions. In these moments of vulnerability, a deep feeling of gratitude often emerges as we open ourselves to the experience of being helped.

When we allow ourselves to rely on others, we not only alleviate the burden of carrying life's challenges alone but also foster deeper connections and bonds with those around us. It's through our willingness to seek and accept help that we cultivate a sense of trust, vulnerability, and intimacy in our relationships.

Think about the times when you've reached out to a friend for advice, leaned on a loved one for emotional support, or collaborated with colleagues to achieve a common goal. In those moments, you not only benefited from the assistance of others but also contributed to the collective strength and resilience of your community.

Relying on others doesn't diminish our individual capabilities or diminish our sense of self. Instead, it amplifies our capacity for empathy, compassion, and reciprocity. It reminds us that we are all interconnected beings navigating the complexities of life together.

Moreover, embracing our interdependence fosters a culture of generosity and kindness, where acts of giving and receiving become natural expressions of human connection. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and open to receiving help, we create a ripple effect of support that extends far beyond ourselves, enriching the lives of those around us.

However, it's essential to recognize that relying on others is not a one-way street. Just as we benefit from the support of others, we also have a responsibility to offer our assistance when needed. By cultivating a spirit of generosity and reciprocity, we contribute to the creation of a more compassionate and interconnected world.

In a society that often glorifies individualism, it's easy to overlook the power and beauty of relying on others. Yet, it's in our moments of vulnerability and interdependence that we discover the true essence of what it means to be human. So, let us embrace the inherent interconnectedness of our existence, and celebrate the profound gift of relying on others.

[j-paramo-arts246-03]

blog 6 • ch. 5 syntax + project 1 cont.

This week's reading focused on the importance of typographic syntax and how everything matters in terms of connecting different elements. From letters to words to sentences and lines, everything should be intentional and cohesive. This also ties to the use of visual hierarchy and grid systems. An example to the author used was how different margin space can frame the text columns differently, giving it a tight breathing space or ample, depends on the designers intentions. Also, the lines sentences form can be arranged with intention to create asymmetry or symmetry and static balance or dynamic balance. In conclusion, this chapter made me understand that each choice as a designer should have intention.

As we're coming closer to completing this project, I still find myself still making adjustments. I've seen designers talk about this and how sometimes we're never completely satisfied with something. I think as graphic designers, we have to natures or perspectives; the artistic point of view and the communication one. This is why in different colleges the graphic design program is sometimes in the art department and others in the communications department. These point of views and independent but rather interdependent. Also, we should strive to be better and always learn new things, so I guess this is a good thing. Anyways, I plan to fix a view things after today's critique.

[albertxylin]

Mycorrhizal

We're all tangled together. Mycorrhizal networks of mycelium and fungi Interlace their fingers with tree roots as they hold hands, Breaking bread and sharing nutrients and leaning on each other. They are interdependent, Neighbours who look after each other And pop round with an extra meal for a chat.

I wonder how it feels to be buried in the rich dirt, The lush smell of decay mixed with burgeoning life, The weight of community supporting on all sides. I grab a root. I grow my network.

[goblin-milque]

disorganized processing : gender wtf

gender affirming care: mastectomy, breast augmentation, liposuction, implants, skeletal sculpting, HRT, boner pills, hair transplant, hair growth serum, laser/waxing, phallo/meta, vaginoplasty, on and on and on

gender and sex are not necessarily related or interdependent but they can be. gender can be: sex, social role, presentation, pronouns, sexuality, class, on and on and on

some people do change genders, others insist they always were the same gender. there was a social transition, could have started presenting differently, behaving differently. seems inaccurate for gender dysphoria diagnostic criteria to describe wanting to be "a different gender" if the gender remains consistent

why is gender affirming care considered medically necessary / covered by insurance for trans people but not cis people? obviously there are many hoops. no doubt Dolly's implants should've been covered. mastectomy for gynecomastia is covered because it's considered corrective, but mastectomy for cis women isn't unless it is physically necessary (cancer, back pain, etc)

dysphoria: a sense of dissatisfaction or unease.

dysphoria -> gender dysphoria -> bottom dysphoria -> genitals and gender are (can be?) related

"gender dysphoria" seems to encompass (but is not necessarily) : wanting different genitals, wanting to be treated differently, wanting a body that is more culturally masc/fem, wanting to be included in spaces where we belong, wanting to dress differently

not everyone who has genital dysphoria has gender dysphoria. i suspect that many people are coerced into socially transitioning in order to ease their body dysphoria. we are expected to uphold sexUgender. can't get your pussy covered by insurance without proving to doctors and therapists that you're a woman.

our current genders are based on sex despite many insisting that they are unrelated. there is no Trans Truth and it is very complicated and subjective. none of these words Mean anything, at least not with any precision.

so what is gender? what does it mean to be feminine? masculine? generally feminine means female-ish and masculine means male-ish. one might say they want to appear more feminine and mean that they want to learn to contour their face to be perceived as female, or they could mean that they want to wear lace and pastels and floral perfume. butches are masc, usually in presentation and social role, but they are not considered trans by broader society.

what does it feel like to be a woman? how would i know if i am or am not one? if i have various types of dysphoria that could fall under gender dysphoria, does that make me trans?

what i have gathered so far is that gender dysphoria can include pretty much anything, gender can be pretty much anything, trans is what we decide it is, and there is no consistent definition of gender.

i think a lot more people are bullshitting than let on. we're all copying each others homework.