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#we've been making characters say 'i don't hate you' when they really mean 'i love you but i can't say it'
lovemyromance · 22 hours
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your posts are literally the elriel bible, I don't think i've disagreed with a single one.
In general, elriels agree on a lot of things which is why it's so odd to find EL/GAs fighting with themselves over "elriels say elains gonna be a warrior" and "elriels say elain's gonna save illyria" because I have never EVER seen a single elriel say such a thing. I saw a long post from some elucien about how elriels self-insert and then they listed a long list of things about what canon elain is - except i don't think elriels would even disagree with what they were saying?
It got kind of muddy when they started trying to claim that "canonically azriel only lusts after elain" but whatever - you get the point. Why are they putting words in our mouths?
Thank you :) I know I always excessively post about elriel (because I'm pretty sure I have the attention span of a squirrel), but some days these petty arguments really make my eye twitch.
Idk why antis seem to think Elriels want Elain to be some warrior, savior of Illyria, High Queen type character. I thought we've all been pretty vocal in wanting to keep her femininity and her kindness and finding strength in her compassion.
If it's because the fanarts....well I think we've all established that nobody is really claiming fanarts to be canon. I think that goes without saying when we have fanart of an Elriel family with Illyrian offspring - or when Eluciens have fanart of Elain looking happy around Lucien lmao. Both are not canon. Who cares - it's fanart? It's not like we really going to pretend that all their fanart is canon either?
Because canonically - Elain can't stand Lucien. Canonically, Azriel has literally never touched Gwyn.
There are basic traits to these characters that nobody can deny. But the antis always have a way of adding additional, personal bias into things. They say Elain's not a warrior - cool, that's true, that's canon – but then they take it a step too far and try to claim its canon that she abhors all violence and she would never touch a dagger and she would hate Azriel because he's a warrior.
Canonically, Elain killed the fucking King of Hybern. She might not crave violence (oh- also what an odd thing to claim - that ANY character loves violence, btw), but she has already proven to be violent when needed.
Canonically, Elain does use a dagger. Not just any dagger - Truthteller.
Nobody's saying she out here training as a Valkyrie at the HOW - but she's not just sitting here in frolicking in a meadow while the rest of her friends and family go to war. She was literally taken AWAY from the main battle in ACOWAR and she still showed back up to pull the most badass move in the books, saving everyone.
Idk what about that is so hard to understand. No Elriel has said she's gonna save Illyria (lol), no one has claimed she's going to be Enalius the Second, nobody is out here waiting for her to take part in the BR and also become a Carthyian.
Elriels like Elain as she is. And even though she's not a warrior, even though she doesn't enjoy violence, even though she isn't a Cartyhian – Azriel still adores her. Azriel still wants her enough to question his religion. That's literally in the books. I can give you the exact page number and quote. I don't need to do any "extra analysis"
You want to talk about canon? Let's talk about how Elain is so perfect that she has even the most brooding warrior falling for her. Let's talk about how Azriel was willing to fight in a blood duel for her. Let's talk about how she was so ready to have a tryst with the Spymaster under everyone's watchful eyes.
We don't need to change anything about Elain, certainly not to have her end up with Azriel. Elriel having feelings for each other is already canon. Elriels did not have to change a single thing about them for them to find each other. That was SJM, so take it up with her.
I mean - she kind of ate when she summed up their relationship in ACOWAR with that scene in the garden...they might not make sense on paper but there's something poetic about them
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moinsbienquekaworu · 5 months
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Overanalysing texts isn't just for published literature, you can also do it with fanfic if you're motivated enough!
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txttletale · 4 months
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If we're asking about games on your list of favourites, as someone who adored Paradise Killer, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it! I always enjoy your analysis.
so first of all the aesthetics of paradise killer are really good. usually games that were written in english but read like translations from japanese irritated me, but here i think it is very much leaned into and embraced as an aesthetic and set of cultural signifiers in its own right, which i really enjoy. the character designs are outlandish and charming. but what i really like about it is like, the way the core premise works
in most detective games, there is a correct answer, and not getting it is a failure state. you can't end a case in ace attorney with your innocent client being convicted, you can't get the wrong guy in the frogware sherlock holmes games. and this invariably, even if the game is critical in other aspects, tends to come around to a fundamental faith in the legal system and authority, right--something that's kind of baked into the detective genre at a fundamental level.
paradise killer upends that by simply saying "you are the detective. get the facts you need, make a compelling argument, and if the authorities above you believe you then you get to distribute justice as you see fit." you arrive on the island you're investigating and you're immediately told "hey, this member of a disenfranchised underclass did it, we've already arrested him, here's the evidence." and absolutely nothing stops you from taking that evidence and walking into the trial room and presenting it and saying "yep, he did it!" and beating the game! it's not a 'bad ending', you don't get a big popup saying 'you're wrong', the powers that be just accept the convenient narrative you've been given to present and everything moves on.
i like this from both, like, an ideological perspective, and also from an interpersonal stakes perspective. in most detective games, you can't miss a crucial piece of evidence, either because the game will not proceed until you pick it up or because you'll be forced to restart the 'trial' or 'deduction' segment when you game over because you're missing it. in paradise killer, whatever argument you put forward, if enough evidence supports it--even if you know for a fact it's wrong!--leads to the person you're accusing being executed. so the stakes are much higher, right, because instead of a game over screen and trying again, getting it wrong means that's just... how the game ends, with an innocent person being executed.
and more importantly i think it does a fantastic job--better imo even than something like disco elysium--at deconstructing the fantasy of justice. a constant theme of the game and something that the protagonist repeats often is "there is a difference between facts and the truth". you can withhold evidence at trial because it implicates your friends, or misrepresent it to implicate that bitch you hate. nothing in the system exists to stop you getting wrong, in fact your superiors encourage you to make the easy completely stritched up conviction and move on with your life.
and at the end, even if you get it right, if you catch all the criminals--all the time you spend investigating this island shows that, like, the society you're part of is fucking evil! you're all deranged immortals making constant human sacrifices to your evil gods! and you don't change that by solving the case, the whole thing just packs up and moves on. you don't get any comfortable resolution to that or to your role in it. you can play lady love dies as a diehard true believer or as a dissident rebel but either way she's ultimately just another cog in a machine, dispensing an alien and uncaring justice that is only attached to any real morality or truth by your decision to do so. a genuinely incredible game.
plus i like how whenever you open it a voice says 'paradise killer' so you know you're playing paradise killer
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todostiddies · 5 months
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Eren Boyfriend Headcanons pt 3
Modern Eren headcanons for GNreader, a continuation of pt 1, pt 2
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*** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ***
watched youtube and tik tok tutorials on how to take better pictures because he wants to impress you
but also thinks you're worthy of only an actual photographer you're so beautiful to him and so he want to fill his camera roll (and his insta!) with you and make it look worthy
this also shows because he lowkey becomes like the photographer in the group that sometimes when he's feeling sentimental and/or drunk he'll heckle the group on nights out for pictures and pull the whole "we're gonna grow old one day and need these to look back on" line
he also begins to take really artful photos sometimes?? and people get a little shook cause he'll have a great perspective and shot and then other times he holds his finger up to the camera to make it look like a butt in front of every other picture lmao
if he gives you a bite of something hot he'll blow on it for you first <33 and then he'll bring it to your mouth and feed you and sometimes make you blush just from his insane unblinking stare as he gauges your reaction lol
but if people are eating with you guys and conversation is flowing don't be surprised if Eren eats the bite he just prepared for you because he got too distracted
then he'll look to you all shocked like it wasn't his own hand lmao and he'll give you a cheeky smile or a pout before making another bite for you or he'll pull the iconic cheesy line "just checking for poison babe" with an embarrassed blush
judges horror movies like it's his full-time job
literally will ruin some movies or moments for you by commenting or joking about the characters and set up too much (he does it because he's secretly afraid and has to diffuse his own tension and keep a brave face for you)
has a drawer of letter's he's written to you as a suggestion from his therapist, so sometimes after fights or feelings of pent up love or other feelings he doesn't know how to verbalize he'll write them all down and it's helped with your guys' communication a lot since it gives him time to process and figure out how to say things
he plans on giving you the letters on a big anniversary or the night before your wedding
if he's in a good mood he will dramatically swing your arm while holding hands
sometimes he wordlessly plops his headphones on your head at random times and plays a song for you to hear then looks at you for your reactions and finally for your spoken opinion when he takes them off your head with a raised brow
he hates doing his homework but likes to help you with yours, and if you're burnt out or fall asleep working he'll often times do some of the work for you or help speed the assignment along (with your consent and he's learned all your writing and work styles so he can mimic you pretty well but I don't condone academic dishonesty obvi but lets be real we've all been there)
whiner
whines when he wants your attention
and whines when he gets it (if you know what I mean wink wink)
back to the photos, he has SO many photos of you and of you guys together. But he doesn't just take them and keep them, he'll shove the photo in your face and make you give yourself at least four compliments and then at least one about his photography skills lol
will randomly make eye-contact with you and plaster on the biggest smirk before lifting up his shirt to flash you his abs and v-line when he's in a good mood (and horny)
sometimes when you guys study together and he gets bored he'll take one of your open notebooks or planner and scribble in the margins and fill it with little compliments and song recs for you to find later
if he is shit talking someone this man simply does not care who hears it
he'll be so loud and bold about it too
"Eren, they're right behind you?"
"So?"
whenever you put on chapstick or anything on your lips he says "gimme a taste" and then kisses you
he'll always give a review too. like about the flavor to texture and mostly it's raving but there has been some snubs
a fry stealer to the very worst degree
always wants a sip of whatever you're drinking and if he likes it then that's your and his drink now
big fan of Zelda and always tells you that he'd be your Link if any dark calamity took you
also gets super giddy when you play Zelda in Mario Kart or Super Smash cause then he gets to pick Link even if Link isn't always the best to play with (which is an actual Nintendo crime but maybe I just suck at playing Link lol)
gets so fucking mean when playing Mario Kart as in he will throw every obstacle your way and does NOT let you win and is not above resorting to straight up distracting you or messing you up while playing
will sometimes steal Zeke's bike and take you on rides on it
he'll go fast with just himself but always keeps it under 60mph with you if even that
hums to himself while cooking <33
he can cook but he can't bake because he likes to play around with recipes a lot (by play around I mean he won't have ingredients and is too lazy to go to the store to get them so he wings it)
likes you to taste test his food
and there's always one candle half melted in his kitchen from yalls dinner dates <33
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Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
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tomlinfonda · 1 year
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Inside me there are two wolves.
One who thinks that the writers are either stupid or cruel, and that the finale was so incomprehensibly bad that I shouldn't try to make sense of it. And that I should move on.
The other one is a subtext-and-metaphor-hungry beast that is manically obsessed with finding a reason, at least subtextually, for the incomprehensible mess they made out of these characters, especially Ted, in the finale.
Everyone is so right to point out that Ted in previous episodes would not have acted like this. I think the reason for the sudden regression in his character is Dottie.
That morning, full of smiles, in a good mood, Ted starts his walk to work.
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He cheerfully strolls through the streets, saying hello to his neighbors, making chit-chat with them. He is (as Trent said it in 1x03) out there in the community. He is, more importantly, part of a community. Until suddenly-
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"Mom?"
Dottie's arrival changes everything. Ted gets worse and worse throughout the episode. In the hotel room in Manchester, the football anthem "Blue Moon", with the haunting lyric "You saw me standing alone" plays over Ted's lonesome figure, in the shadows, depressed.
Juxtapose that with his first scene: the lively neighborhood and daylight.
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At the end of the episode, his conversation with his (manipulative) mom hits him deep. He feels immense guilt over not being there for Henry. And he's been torn over this for the entire season.
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His mom, and the way she acts, and the way she manipulates him, push him in the wrong direction: Kansas.
I think Ted has disassociated for most of the finale. But I also think that he is intentionally pushing people away. Maybe he thinks that this will make it easier for him to leave, maybe he thinks that this will make it easier for them to let him go. Maybe he just hates himself so much that he cannot accept their help. Maybe he feels guilty that they're showing him so much love, when he knows he will abandon them.
Either way, he quits. Something that he would not have done, even in season 1. So his regression goes farther than the first episode, deeper into his past. He goes from:
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to having doubts on the plane about leaving without winning the whole fucking thing
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but leaving anyway.
And this is one of the most curious things to me. Rebecca offers to bring Henry to him in England by helping relocate Michelle:
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And yet, he refuses. So, sure, this is about being there for his son. But given the choice between his son with his beloved community, and his son without his beloved community, he chooses the latter.
I've heard the argument that we don't know for sure that Ted doesn't have a support system in Kansas. But from a narrative perspective, it's important that we haven't been shown that hypothetical support system at all. And given that he actually returns to Kansas without the one person who we know supported him before coming to England, it comes across as a terribly isolating situation.
So why would Ted choose to part from his found family, even though bringing his son into that family would be an option? My theory is that he just really fucking hates himself. I think he wants to punish himself, maybe for being away from Henry for so long, maybe for something else. I don't think he believes that he deserves love or even credit for how he helped the club.
I mean, Rebecca and Trent offer him exactly that this episode: credit for what the did for the club.
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And he rejects them both, choosing instead to remove himself from their lives, to erase himself from the narrative.
I think he's lower mentally than we've seen him for a while.
I think he's in his dark forest.
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So the plane departs and then lands. And Ted is back in Kansas, driven through the prosaic, picket-fenced, isolating, depressing American suburbs to the house where Henry and the ex-wife who doesn't love him are waiting for him.
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And the light might be golden, and he might be reunited with his son. But as we close in on the last shot of the show, you can see his smile try to fight the sadness in his eyes and you know.
He's not happy.
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nekropsii · 4 months
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Atomic Ask Bomb... 2!!
Hello, all! We are back in the mines immediately, because you all love me and my inbox so much. I still have 200+ more asks to sort through after this and that is not hyperbole!! Oops!!
Content Warning: Long, and Cronus is There.
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You can be both. I am both. I think Terezi's easily in the Top 3 of Best Written Homestuck Characters, no competition. AND she compels me.
Mituna Fans and Terezi Fans flocking together like how Gays and Lesbians are supposed to.
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He doesn't have a Recuperacoon. He doesn't NEED a Recuperacoon. Who needs a Recuperacoon when you have a bathtub? You pile a bunch of slime in there, and then you can pop the drain open in the morning and take a shower right there where you just got up. It's convenient. And not at all sad. It's not sad guys.
Let's pretend for a moment that either Vantas would have regular bathing habits for the sake of this joke.
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Even if that's the case, it really doesn't change anything. Insecurity doesn't justify literal actual sexual harassment and sexual assault. What?
People will do anything to excuse random shitty men for being shitty. Sympathy is the favorite weapon in Fandom Misogyny's arsenal. So often will fans pull some random bullshit out of their ass just to say that it's fine that a male character is abusive, especially if it's to women, because "He's Sad", so he should never face criticism or punishment for his actions.
We should all start putting people in blenders. We've let these arguments go on long enough. People are far too bold in their abuse apologia. We need to kill them.
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Yeah. Like, he interests me a lot, he's one of the characters I take the most interest in out of all of the Alpha Trolls. I literally write sov!Cronus. I hate his guts, though. It really is just that easy to be a fan of a character and also fucking hate them. Not once have I ever made an excuse for him. The goal Hussie set out for when writing him was making him inexcusable and irredeemable, down to Cronus literally knowing what he's doing is bad and hurts people, and simply just not caring.
Cronus is genuinely fucking evil. That's the whole point. If you make him misunderstood, if you make him mean well, if you make him lack self awareness, if you make him sympathetic, if you give him any redeeming qualities at all... You are missing the point completely. If you want a sympathetic asshole character, you want Vriska. The point of Cronus is that he's The Worst Character In Homestuck, and that he has zero redeeming qualities and trying to fix him or redeem him is a Hopeless venture. He is beyond saving. Don't you dare even think about trying - to try to make him palatable is to erase Violent Bigotry, Incest, and Child Sexual Abuse. Just don't. Enjoy him as he is, do NOT defang him.
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He truly is the worst! I think we should explode all depictions of fanon!Cronus. Forever.
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Yeah, there's a huge reason why I do not say I'm a fan of Cronus or call him a favorite character of mine or anything. It projects a certain... Image. The wrong one. There's just such a strong precedent for anyone saying they're a Cronus Fan or calling him their Favorite Character being a person who just completely fucking ignores everything about him, or even pardons it, saying it's fine, actually, because He's Sad, or that it's Not That Bad, actually. I can't stand it.
I'm aware there are Cronus Fans who are totally normal, but I cannot help but immediately be wary of them, or flinch for a moment even when they offer the reassurance that they know better. It's a natural response, having been here for around a decade and having been a Mituna Fan the whole time.
Liking characters who are terrible people is fine. Based, even, in some cases. But... It's truly difficult with Cronus, because so much of that fanbase relies on excusing/minimizing/condoning abuse and bigotry. I don't have any qualms with people liking characters that suck, but when a fanbase for a character is so heavily focused on pretending that character isn't a horrible, terrible, awful person who abuses people - even children, even people they're related to, even children that they're related to - for nothing but their own sexual gain... I start having issues. That sets a pretty dangerous precedent, to me.
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It's crazy to me how so much of the apologism is because he's hot. Because he literally isn't. You all have terrible taste.
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Let's all appreciate for a moment just how fucking ugly he is. The fan art is lying so bad. He needs a haircut. His shirt doesn't fit him, and honestly looks like women's clothes - you know those women's shirts that have the sleeves that stop halfway down the damn shoulder? He looks like a 16 year old. He's so skinny, and his shoulders are so... rounded and small - which are fine traits to have, but literally every piece of fanart portrays him as broad-shouldered and ripped when the literal opposite is true. You just know he has too much product in his hair. His actual sprite is even worse.
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The way his fly doesn't even go all the way up. The way his hair clips into his face. The way he's slightly yellow for literally no reason. The shitty belt. This fucking sucks. He's so ugly. He isn't even hot.
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Mituna having Memory Loss as a result of his TBI is literally a myth invented by Cronus to emotionally manipulate Mituna and perpetuated by Cronus Fans. I think if they were friends in the past, Cronus's actions would be worse, actually.
Could you imagine getting sad that your friend doesn't remember you because of a Traumatic Brain Injury, and your response to this sadness is to abuse and sexually assault them on the regular? What, is that Just Bro Things now? Cronus literally says he targets Mituna because he thinks he can get away with it due to his struggles with communication. The thing about them being buddies in the past was one of his trademark Lies. Because he is known to do that, specifically to manipulate people. Because he is known to manipulate people. Emotionally. Because he is abusive. And terrible. And not redeemable. This isn't rocket science! It isn't rocket science to say that pushing the fault of Mituna's abuse onto Mituna is Victim-Blaming!
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Positively fucking ridiculous that so many people did not recognize their romance within the comic. If they were boys, there'd be no god damn question about it. It'd be up there in everyone's OTP list alongside DaveKat.
I think they're adorable. They're one of my favorite pairings.
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It's great in the source comic, especially during earlier phases of its existence, but the quality deprecates drastically the further you get from that point. I hate it in Fanon and in Dub/Post-Canon.
It's a great off-screen pairing for a lot of lore reasons - namely it being great to let Dave slowly allow himself to love and be loved in private, with no fear of eyes on him. He's never really been able to have privacy before, with all the cameras and eyes on him all the time, and he's never been able to really let his guard down and be vulnerable. He's never been able to love and be loved, safely. I ultimately think they should've kept their relationship mostly private, even after Dave's recovered quite a bit, because sometimes having something just for yourself without that need to perform it is healing in itself. Mental health maintenance.
In Fanon, it seems like pretty standard yaoi, though. Boring. Tired. Literally everywhere. Voyeuristic as always.
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Thank you! My Inbox generally really isn't that bad at all, honestly! Most people are pretty cordial! Anon Hate for me is pretty rare. Thankfully, the Delete Ask button exists, so I don't have to worry about those Anons for very long, lol.
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I hate to say this, but back in my day, plenty of people actually did do that. In fact, people only knowing Homestuck through fan material and then still calling themselves a fan is a big reason why old Homestuck fanon was so bad and so far off the mark!
I have a name for those kinds of fans, because it was such a frequent occurrence it begged for a title. I call them Secondaries. Like "Secondary Source"!
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World's most based triad, I think. Should be real. It's real to me.
7H15 15 MY 91RLFR13NF, L47UL4. 4DN 7H51 15 7UL45 9R1LFR13ND, P0RR1M.
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I think everyone should start watching actual horror movies. I think these people should watch Re-Animator and Bride of Re-Animator. I think this would fix the fandom, because a lot of people are just posting about horror movies without realizing they're posting about horror movies. Go watch a horror movie. They even have more and, frankly, more interesting gay representation than... Whatever Dirk and Jake have going on. Sorry.
If you're a gay man, get some hair on your chest and watch a bunch of horror movies. There's more in this life than anime twinks and skinny white pixel men. There's BlackRom Old Man Pet Play (The Lighthouse, 2019), there's Tormented Huge Dirty Bear (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, 2006), there's The Bisexual Psychological Torture + Betrayal Chamber (Saw, 2004), there's Dysfunctional Gay Marriage Disputes (Re-Animator, 1985, Bride of Re-Animator, 1990). And way more other ones than I can really list. Expand your horizons.
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Not much. It's a bit mysterious. Here's what Aranea had to say about Mituna in general, which gives us most of the crumbs we have:
The Heir of Doom was once a powerful psionic. He had much to say when it came to warning us a8out the path of doom and destruction we were all headed for, 8ut no one took him very seriously. 8ut one day he lost all those abilities when he 8adly overexerted himself. It's hard to get any specifics from him, 8ut indications are that he applied every last 8it of energy he had toward some great act of heroism, saving us all from some looming threat. Not only did his exertion permanently 8urn out his psychic a8ilities, 8ut it left him somewhat... er. Incoherent. The entire incident is shrouded in mystery. From his limited and scattered accounts of what happened, it seems very likely that Kurloz was with him at the time, as the only eye witness. And of course it's impossi8le to get any relia8le information out of him. I guess we may never know, sadly.
This does say quite a lot, but not really anything specific. We've got some stuff about how he's the session's Cassandra, the fact that the GAoH was NOT an accident (this is the misconception that pisses me off the most, I think - I hate when people call it an accident), the fact that he was protecting everyone from something... The fact that he DOES remember it, the fact that Kurloz was there, as the only eye witness, and refuses to talk about it.
It leaves plenty of room for speculation. A little too much room for me, honestly, but that's fine, I'm not really pressed about it.
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person who is sooooo normal about ray talks about the end of episode 10, what it confirms, what it introduces, and what it may even promise:
"can you please forgive me?"
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starting off with this line.... there is a specific brand of betrayal and hurt reserved for the people who feel like the only ones in the world that can make you feel loved. we've seen ray get angry and even lash out at the other characters before but we haven't seen him breakdown the way he did in the sandray apartment fight. i think i took ray saying that he finally was starting to understand his feelings more in episode 9 too lightly, because it seems he meant more then just "i think i like you too" kind of thing, i wouldn't be surprised if ray realized the love he felt as well, and not just romantic love but the "you've seen so much of the ugliness in me but still stayed" kind of love and, if im gonna be bold, acceptance.
"you can be angry or hate me all you want"
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lines like this tell me two things, the first being the guilt ray feels over the way he treats people and the second being how much pain he thinks he deserves for it. though i will say this time it feels different then in episode 4 where ray asks sand to call him a burden, because before he wanted sand to hurt him back (a bit of retaliation a bit of self-harm even) but this time he is asking for sand's understanding and forgiveness. he still thinks he deserves it, but now its more then just asking for someone to hurt you in order to reconcile (we will get to the fact sand isn't really there don't worry) there is a sort of emotional growth is what im trying to say.
"i know now that you want nothing from me"
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this is also such a huge line for me. we know ray views himself as worthless, he would rationalize why anyone would want him (this is why he was so hurt about sand accepting money from his dad but that's already been meta'd to death so i won't get into that), so him not only thinking but verbalizing that sand is someone who is kind to him without expecting anything in return is huge for ray's ability to see himself as more than a burden or his father's money. in fact, i'd say him admitting this here means he is already beginning to gain a sense of self-worth.
"though i've been nothing but an asshole to you, you are always there for me"
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this is the part where we really see ray break. im not good at reading other people's emotions so im not gonna comment on what emotions the actor is trying to portray (tho he is portraying some big ones goddamn), from a text stand point, im interpereting this as pain. I talked before a bit about guilt but i'd say at this moment the realization that someone can care for him so deeply that the parts of himself he's sure are not only unlovable but hurtful won't drive them away, causes him a lot of pain. as someone who is bad feeling cared for or appreciated as a person and sometimes acts like a dick about it, i too would break apart at this moment.
"please understand me"
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now this is the line that inspired this post in the first place. he struggles with the connections he has with others but you can see how lonely this man is. like he has been told he is a burden, he interperets his life events and the way other people treat him as proof he is fundamentally unlovable and bad luck for anyone he gets close to, and he is a self-fulfilling prophecy about it.
when he asks sand to understand him he's asking sand to look deeper then his self-sabotoging and attachment issues and see the love and care he has that he struggles to understand and feel and express. he is filled with so much pain how could it not start to infect everyone around him, but from what we see of him, he probably never wanted to hurt other people in this way to begin with.
i think the reason this line specifically broke my heart is that, so much of his behavior at times can be interpreted as a subconscious cry for help, help he won't except but help he needs anyway. i knew any arc involving ray addressing his addiction would destroy me because there is the pain experiencing the things i mentioned above, the pain in thinking you're helpless to them, and then the pain in doing what it takes to try to move forward from them, like this shit is hard. the clarity ray is able to adress imaginary sand with is so incredible even though its in his head, especially given how stubborn he'd been about admitting any issues in the first place.
"being with me requires some patience"
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all that i said above and more... i don't think ray will get over that feeling of being a burden any time soon if he ever does because it becomes so ingrained in your worldview and the way you interpret other people's behavior. i like the way this line is phrased (i know its a translation but still) because it alludes to him feeling that he is capable of being loved, it'll be hard but not impossible.
"but if you don't want to put up with me anymore, that's alright. i get you"
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remember how i just said i think he now believes he's lovable... well actually i still mean it. he's been constantly told and shown how his behaviour and mentality are hard to deal with, like he thinks his existence is so burdensome it killed his own mother BUT he now knows sand is different. he won't blame sand for not wanting to deal with him, he's always been aware of his shortcomings but can now honestly address the effect his actions have on others, and at the same time he knows that its possible to care for him.
this is why i think sand is his motivation for going to rehab, he's shown ray what is possible for him in ways no one else before sand has.
"but please know this"
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there is something so special about the impact sand has had on ray that i think goes beyond their relationship. sand made ray see the value in having a future, in being loved, in being happy. in episode 8 ray tells sand that he's finally happy when they spend time together, and it may seem like he's repeating it here but again this sand is imaginary. he's not saying this to get sand to answer his texts or hang out with him. he's imagining his reason for wanting to recover from addiction. like the weight this scene carries at least triples for me everytime i remember sand isn't really there. this was such a beautiful choice to make imo like ray saying these things to sand would probably be good for their relationship but it wouldn't have the same impact on ray's character arc.
my conclusion is once again don't know why i rambled on besides, ray as character was manufactured in a lab to drive me insane. like i've triggered my mood disorder twice over the course of watching this show but i wouldn't take it back for even a second. i love ray, i love what we've seen of his mentality and backstory, i love that we're seeing him making the decision to address his addiction, i go numb with the thought of where his arc will go next, but i especially love seeing everyone come together to scream about this character that means so much to me (not at all subtle reference to the fact i've read hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone by @jgyapologism what three? times now) anyway hope we all continue to scream about him this week. 🫡🫡
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thesupernaturalhouse · 3 months
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Okay, I can't be the only one, who thinks it's kinda ridiculous how people hate Lilith right?
And I think it's even more hypocritical of people to hate Lilith but love Lucifer/Alastor/Adam
Now- I'm not saying you can't dislike a character, no....but we've seen this women ONCE, not counting the story/flashback
And frankly, I don't think she's done anything worthy of, you know, being hated as much as she is
"She took Charlie form lucifer" the fuck she did, im 90% sure that Charlie snuck out of bed and went to find Luci and Lilith(if it was Lilith) jsut went 'no- no. You're supposed to be asleep'
There was no clear context that Charlie was being taken away form Lucifer- not to mention even-
Okay, let's say that they did divorce, which I'm not even sure if they did, and Lilith took Charlie to live with her
She CLEARLY did not keep Charlie AWAY from Luci, we see portraits/pictures of Charlie as a kid young adult, teenager, etc, in her dad's office/home
We even see family portraits with her as a kid and teen/young adult, so the divorce was also probably not until she was already fully grown
Keep in mind, Chalrie is canonically 200 years old, or older, this divorce could've been when she was, like, 180 she probably wasn't a kid when the separated
So even if she was taking Charlie away in that scene, it clearly was not forever and honestly doesn't seem possible with the timeline
"She abandoned charlie" so did....Lucifer??
Like, she mentions him not contacting her for a long time, the one phone call she DOES get from him is about a meeting, not exactly a meaningful conversation
And if he became like this after the 'divorce', then unless lilith divorced him and then left. That probably means Charlie hasn't had a meaningful talk with her dad for longer than 7 years
Or even seen him, I forget if Charlie says that 'this is the first time I'm seeing him in years' or smth
Not to mention Charlie clearly still loves her and views her in a positive light
"Shes in heaven" Okay....we don't know why tho??
I mean, personally, I like to think she's planning war crimes against heaven and is using whatever deal she and Adam had as a cover up
But we don't know the reason, it could be a good one! it could be a shitty one! We don't know!!
We know, like, 4 things about this women and people are already hating her, and I just don't get it
Like why?? What's the reason??
And maybe im overreacting or yall havnt seen the same fans/thing I have
But I've seen people say they hate Lilith but love Lucifer, I've seen people paint her in a bad light to either have a villian/antagonist or to show Adam in a better light, or to victomize/pity Alastor
And I just don't get it, how is she worse then Alastor or Lucifer here?
Which, even if she does own Al's soul, I don't think it'd be a big deal?? Like....Alastor owns souls to, and Lilith isn't abusing her power over him(unlike Al with Husk), I think if she did own his soul, she would've stoped him from suggesting a deal/favor to Charlie
I can't be the only one who thinks like this either right?
i also personally dont want her to be a villian and i also dont want sera to be a villian either; Lute is a good enough villian
Sera ALSO gets hate, which I don't really get. Like this women is trying her best to run heaven by herself and make sure nobody dies under her care
Like this, women clearly has truama/ptsd, just as lucifer does about his falling. And for the exterminations to be fair, if I was told a bunch of rapists and serial killers were coming to my house, I'd grab the gun too!!
Doesn't mean all sinners are like that, I'm sure a lot are in hell for minor crimes, but heaven doesn't know that!
Cut her some slack man, I doubt she's had a nap in 4+ billion years
Also this isn't hate on any of the characters, I absolutely love lucifer, I just think that people needa stop painting lilith and/or sera to be the bad guy
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halaboyz · 7 months
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still of serendipity, yunho
ateez bf (ex)! yunho x gn! reader angst angst angst angst ; break-up fic! wc: 1.1k warnings: idk what i should put it as but reader starts to list things that can be considered as self-hate(?); swearing a/n: jeong yunho is just the PERFECT character for playing angst and the way he holds always holds a spot whenever i think of angst is ... this is light angst though! at least for me ^^
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It was way past afternoon, yet sometime before night. It was neither dusk or night, you didn't know— with the way the dark clouds uniformly enclosed the bright blue sky maybe minutes ago, dropping hundreds and thousands and millions of rain that formed a rather calming sound in the background.
What you knew though, was that you were still sitting in silence as you stare out the window, hearing yet another sigh coming out of the man's lips in front of you.
"y/n," He calls out, and you look down to heave a breath to hold your tears.
"Yunho, the rain's pretty."
"We've been dragging this out by so long already, y/n. Don't you think it's already time?" Yunho whispers, ever so softly. He scoots closer to you to lean his elbows on the table.
You look at him emotionlessly, yet pleadingly. You were one to expect this was already to come, yet it still hits you like a truck.
"Yunho... I really can't do this right now." It was true. You have a lot on your plate; your job currently thinking whether resigning with you is a good idea or terminating your contract with how you were so idea-less these past few months, your family borderline cutting all connections with each other, friends unable to be contacted— Yunho was the only one you're now holding onto. "I really, really can't. Can't we... wait this out? I really really need you by my side right now and I... can't."
"Do you just need me, y/n?" Yunho stares at you hopelessly, the rhetorical question wanting to be said out loud for weeks already.
It makes you silent, though. Did you really just need him? Did you make him feel like that, that you only needed him? Did it seem like that?
Because you knew for sure you'd travel space and back to prove your love for this man.
So when he asked that, made it seem like you only used him for your benefit— or whatever he meant, that's how you understood it anyway, no point in arguing on an ending fight— you knew it was really a waste of more energy to try and prove something to him.
"If it seemed like that to you, take it like that." The disappointment was still evident in your voice, laced with anything the like of a venom that slowly killed the both of you.
"You know what I mean, y/n. You know how much I love you, and I still do. But... things are just not going too well that even love can't make me stay. I'm not the problem, you're not the prob—,"
"Stop telling me that there's no problem with me, Yunho. I need you to fucking say anything to make me please, fucking hate you." You finally sob, looking around the cafe with no other customers but the both of you, and the barista standing awkwardly behind the cashier, feigning ignorance.
You couldn't care less, though. You messily wipe your tears away but you sob yet again. It just keeps coming. When you said arguing was a waste of energy, crying isn't, that's certain.
"y/n."
"No, Yunho. I need you to spit out every fucking insult you could. Am I fat? Am I too ugly? Short? Do I not have dreams? Passions? Hobbies that don't align with yours? Boastful? Hard-headed? A pain in your fucking ass? Do tell, Yunho. 'Cause I'm about to lose my mind."
"Y/n..."
"I need any! Any fucking reason why you're breaking up with me and giving up on me, Yunho. I'd take on anything you're going to say and believe it and go on with my fucked up life because if not, Yunho..." You sigh, all the emotions mixing as you burst out crying. If it weren't for the raindrops in the background, and the low volume of jazz playing against the four walls of the cafe, you would've been all over the place to prove Yunho a point. "Even if my life turns upside down and you have shitty timing trying to break up with me, Yunho, I'd wait. If you don't say anything right now, I'd wait until the world fucking blows up."
Yunho only looks at you with so much he can give— guilt, a hint of regret, and a lot of sympathy you didn't need.
What you needed was him, his presence, even if he only stood still beside you all throughout, you knew you'd cope.
He was your lifeline, after all.
"Because I love you like that, Yunho. I don't know about you but I know myself and what I gave and what more I can give. So for you to give up on me just because I'm a fucking mess right now and I don't know about you is... shit."
Yunho stays like that, staring at you. Without an ounce of hope for the both of you, obviously.
Eyes of the one who had already long given up on the both of you. Eyes of the one who held nothing of love toward the lady wo cried a river in front of him, who begged him to stay during the lowest part of her life.
"I'm sorry, y/n." Yet he can't bear to hurt you more than you were already hurting. Even if he says every single insult in his vocabulary, he knows you know he wouldn't mean it. He knows that you know he just, as it is, purely, gave up on the both of you because it wasn't working at all between the both of you, right now, an untimely case.
He stands up unhesitatingly, leaving you an umbrella at the side of the table. He mumbles another apology as he takes a step back from your crying figure, finally accepting your fate as you stare out the window rather than seeing him off.
"I wish you well, y/n. I really do. I'm sorry that I can't be... the one." Yunho is a fucking coward. He just is— as he turns his back towards you, with tears finally, without a shame, pour out of his eyes. He can't let you see that side of him as he scurries out of the cafe, to his car in front of the window you longingly stared at.
When he looks back, you were sobbing your life out covered in your hands, and that's when the excruciating pain hit him. He had to clutch his chest to try and lessen the pain.
The pain he had caused. All he wanted to do was run back and engulf you in his arms, but... here we are. The cowardly Jeong Yunho.
Because he left, after all.
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ebonysplendor · 4 months
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Do you have a review of The Kid At The Back?
O_O;
Pfft...of course I do! What? You thought I just had it downloaded and in my "Play Later" stash for the past 2 - 3 months with the full intention of playing it and writing a review, just for it to never happen? Of course not~! Just to prove it to you, I will insert the entire thing right here, no links needed! And no, it's not because I didn't have it written until now, so don't think that! ANYWAYS.
TL;DR: I'm not worried about if this man is at the back. My question and only concern is can he hit it from the back?
Game Link: https://fantasia-kittcat.itch.io/the-kid-at-the-back-demo
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Notable Features: Yandere LI, Custom Pronouns, Self-Insert (first and last name), Two LIs, 1+ Hour Long Demo Spiciness: 2/5 or 5/5 -- It depends on which version you get. If you get the regular degular free version, it'll be more innocent with some flirtiness here and there. If you pay for the NSFW version, it'll be way more sinful and the way that the Gods intended it to be. LI Red Flags: 4/5 -- Breaking-and-entering, possessive, drugged us, lack of consent; the usual stuff, but I can fix him
Wanna know more? Pfft, not if you aren't in the 18+ club you don't. Yes, that's even with nothing explicit popping off in the demo. So go on, get away. Oh? You're at least 18? Well, what are we waiting for?! Let's get into it!
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...Okay, so I may or may not have completely lied about having this review written, but I mean, so what?! I'm making the review now, aren't I?! Cut a girl some slack!
Lol actually, all jokes aside, this gave me the push that I needed to go on and get it done. I've honestly been meaning to play this game for a hot minute now, but other things caught my immediate attention, and this kept getting pushed further and further back. All that matters now is that I've finally played it, I'm making the review, and we are here together as a squad.
Now, with that being said...
I find it extremely disrespectful that I waited so long to play this masterpiece; what was I thinking?
The story, so far, has me in an absolute chokehold, and I absolutely hate that it's only the demo because I want to know now. I am all over this story right now, and the dev is going all the way in with no remorse.
Not to mention, the LI -- or at least the one that I'm simping for, because there's two this time -- is just so damned good looking. What's even more attractive is that he doesn't play into the whole edge lord stereotype like some people we know. He's actually a pretty sweet guy so far! He has psycho tendencies, for sure, but a sweet guy overall!
Just as a side note, I have always had the weakest spot for a guy in alt/goth/emo/grunge -- all of that -- fashion. Like, the attraction that I have is ungodly, and I just...like, it's disrespectful how attractive I find them. Now, I want you to imagine our yandere LI...but with tattoos. When I tell you that I'd be ruined?!
Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.
When I say ready to submit?! When I say ready to turn into the absolute best baby girl?
*Ahem*
Okay, now that I've got my degeneracy out a little bit, I'm going to start giving you a summary of the game so that you can be as absolutely geeked -- and in love with this man -- as much as I am. The game is really good, and like I said, the story is damned interesting thus far. Anyways, I'm going to stop yapping so I can start telling you about the game. Like always, I am going to tell you as much about the game as possible without ruining the game itself. That being said, let's finally get into it.
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So boom.
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Literature class is over, and we're getting our anime protagonist on. We're dramatically looking out the window thinking about how it's going to rain, and how it was super unfortunate that we hadn't brought an umbrella. ... Damn.
...Okay, well anyways! Now that we've had our main character complex solidified, we get up, and one of the members of the squad inquire about lunch before another one comes up behind them. Now, we aren't too worried about them anymore because we're looking at him.
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Jericho "Crowe" Ichabod.
Classroom representative, close friend, and an absolute snack. While he has an anime antagonist aesthetic to him, he has the vibe of the supporting character and love interest of the anime protag, ya feel me? Like, we are feeling this man.
After we're done thinking about how much we simp over this man on the low, we respectfully reject the offer to go to lunch and instead hit the library, anticipating that addictive smell of books and coffee. Besides, we've got a paper to work on, so why not? We get our stuff, and we head in that direction.
Now, everyone knows about having unassigned assigned spaces, right? You know that whole thing when you get so used to sitting in a particular seat, or having a certain parking spot, or always studying in a particular room, so you just always gravitate towards it and kind've make this unsaid claim on it? Well, we have an unassigned assigned seat by this window in the library, and some bitch took it right as we were going towards it. How are we supposed to feed into our main character syndrome, if we don't have the window seat?
Whatever though. We're lowkey pissy about it, but we decided to let the kid have their moment. Everyone deserves their own episode, ya feel? We go find another seat.
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Since this is the library and all, we start browsing the shelves to find a book for a little leisure reading. Was this the initial choice? No, but we weren't really trying to involuntarily focus on the fact that we got stuck sitting around all the gossiping "peaked-in-high-school" students. Shout out to that bitch who took our seat earlier. Your mom's a hoe, and I hope someone punches you in the face. Either that or you get in a knife fight. Either is good, just don't sit in my damned unassigned assigned seat anymore.
It gets worse though, because we can't even look for a book in peace. There's this loud ass thud from the book shelf right next to us, and whoever knocked into it hit it hard enough that some of the books almost came off the shelf. Of course, we've got to investigate the cause of this, so we try to catch a peek through a gap on the bookshelf and...it's honestly typical.
Remember when I told you about the "peaked-in-high-school" students? Well, we found another set on the other side of the bookshelf. These two students were harassing this other student for, what sounds like, no apparent reason. The situation escalates pretty quickly before one of the bullies absolutely knocks that other student's shit in. We just kind've wince because, damn that's tough...but, meh, it's not our business. The other bully then proceeds to pull out a pocket knife. Well, damn, I guess it's our business...
We jump in.
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Lol don't get it twisted, though. We didn't do much, but we did do enough to get them to go away, which mattered more than anything because this guy was definitely about to end up in a hospital bed.
We help this poor, unfortunate soul up, and...gah damn, he's tall. Lol imagine my 5'2.5 -- 5'3 on a good day -- self helping this 6ft tall man up. Sheeeeeeeeesh. He should've curb stomped their asses, because he's gotta be rocking at least a size 14 shoe.
Anyways, I guess he kind've said "fuck us" though, because we were like "Nurse's office?" and he was like "Nah" and just straight dipped out after that. No "thank you", no nothin', and-- wait.
THIS BITCH WAS THE ONE SITTING IN OUR UNASSIGNED ASSIGNED SEAT. We know this, because he went and got his stuff from over there and then bolted out of the library! Well, that explained the punch to the face and the pocket knife. Honestly? Good look, universe.
Okay, okay, okay, enough jokes; let's get on with the rest of the story (kinda because avoiding huge spoilers).
We leave the library, too, after some more time goes by, and guess who's in our next class...
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The bitch that stole our seat The guy from the library. Huh...never noticed him before this point, but that's probably because he sits at the very back of the room.
He must've noticed us, too, though, because when we make eye contact, he get's all flustered in the face and looks away.
Now, admittedly, after that encounter in the library, we're kind've curious about this kid, and, again, it's dope how the universe works sometimes because, for this class, we need a partner, and wouldn't you know it?
We don't have a partner, he doesn't have a partner, so we do as the Gods intended and pair up.
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Contrary to how he looks, he actually isn't the tsundere of our cast.
He -- his name is Solivan Brugmansia, by the way; he likes to be called sunny Sol -- is actually a pretty okay dude!
He's not that stereotypical emo boy edgelord or that arrogant hard ass that thinks the people around him are idiots. He's actually pretty nice and legit doesn't mind our company; he's even open to seeing us outside of class just to casually hang out and talk. He's also pretty -- very, extremely... -- damned attractive, if you don't mind me throwing that in. Something else that I wanna throw in is that -- you remember when I mentioned that he rushed out without saying "thank you"? -- he said "thank you" and really appreciated us jumping in to help him.
Pretty grateful that he didn't make it to the knife fight portion of our threat. I would've never made that threat if I knew he was going to be this sweet of a guy.
Anyways, class gets out, we exchange numbers, and make mentions of hanging out in the future before parting ways for the day. We get back home, text some of our friends and the new bae, and eventually go to sleep for the next day to roll around.
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As mentioned, the next day rolls around, and we're with the squad making lunch plans. While this is going on, we find new bae in the crowd of students in the hallway. Naturally, we call him over, but in hindsight, this was not the brightest idea. We didn't really account for the fact that OG bae and new bae were going to catch a bad vibe from each other.
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And boi, did they catch a bad vibe. More accurately, they caught a "you're competition" vibe.
At this point they're sizing each other up, and it's like, please don't do that, because I'll take you both...then again, I am leaning more towards one than the other.
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But it might get bad depending on whoever we pick, and we've definitely got to pick.
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I have got to give the fattest shout out to whoever sent that anon message in, because they've pushed me to stand on business and play this game, and it was so worth it.
Honestly, where do I even start with this? The art style, the bae, the plot -- dear Gods the plot. I am so invested in this story! You'll understand once you play it for yourself, but it's like...what is going on?! What is going on behind closed doors? Why are things starting to get not so black and white? Like, I am extremely suspicious of the things that are going on in this game. Like, the dev(s) didn't have to go in on the art style and the story like that. Speaking of the art style...
Y'all know that I have a thing for the way that games look, and baby, I am in love. I love this whole "comic book" vibe that this game has going on. Like, I just love the shadows behind the characters and their designs and how they're written and just -- I honestly can't give you a clear depiction of how much I love the art style or exactly what about it I love, but I love it. I just love the style of this game, how it looks, and how it flows.
Anyways, I think this game is definitely worth it, and shit, based on what I managed to dig up and research, those $5 to unlock the sin is worth it. Not even because the CGs or the scenes that were made exclusively for the degenerates were revolutionary or anything, but because I really feel that this is going to be a great damned visual novel once it's complete, and it is so deserving of that monetary support. The amount of work that has already gone into this game in its demo stage is impressive, and I am super excited to see what else is in store. Like, I'm really trying to see what day 3 is about at this point, and I'm trying to get to the part where Sol starts clapping these cheeks. I will do a lot more than just research the NSFW scenes, I'm going to drop some cash to experience that firsthand. BRING ON THE OTHER 5 DAYS. MY BODY IS READY FOR IT!
But seriously, when is Sol going to start hitting it from the back...? And no, I ain't scratching it out this time! Y'all know what it is at this point! You know full well that I am a degenerate.
Lol okay, anyways, all jokes aside, that's it from me.
Like I said, I'm really excited for this full game to drop, and I will gladly spend the money for it whenever that time comes. That being said, I definitely recommend it. If you want the NSFW version, you do have to spend a minimum of $5 to unlock it; however, if you're low on cash, you're still able to play, but it'll be the SFW version -- both are really good either way, so don't let that deter you.
I'll go ahead and put a link for it right here so that you can head on over and get in on this amazingness. As I always like to remind people to do, once you get to the dev's page, leave them that ever warm "Yo, this shit is fire..." to give them some verbal validation, and if you're feeling really fancy, drop some financial validation, too. Either way, definitely play this game because it is good and so worth the (minimum) hour of playthrough.
Welp, that's all from me, friends! As always, please remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!
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The Kid at the Back (DEMO)
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captainuranium543 · 2 months
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My thoughts on gruvia
So I wanted to make this post because I've been rewatching gmg recently and I wanna talk about it a bit.
Before I begin I know gruvia is a very polarizing ship so I'll make my own opinion clear, I don't hate gruvia but I also don't think it was very well executed in cannon. If you love gruvia this isn't against you at all, my intention with this isn't a hate post just to look at a weird decision made in gmg for gruvia from a writing standpoint and talk a little about it.
The biggest issue most people have with gruvia is that juvias obsession with gray is taken WAY to far sometimes and ends up feeling more creepy then funny or romantic. I agree with that point but also I do try to keep in mind that gags aren't really meant to be taken seriously. There is a limit to what I can write off as a gag but for the most part early on juvia fell within that limit, from my perspective I tend to take things as seriously as the characters around do meaning if their reaction is mild annoyance, I won't take it to seriously. While their reaction is genuine discomfort, I will. Early on, all of juvias romantic advances/creepy moments had been gags that where within the reasonable range that I could laugh off. This changed though in gmg.
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Ok so starting off mid gmg gray has a very serious talk with erza. I disagree with a lot of people on this conversation because a lot of people seem to think this is her tell gray to love juvia. Gruvia lovers and haters alike seem to think this but I really don't see it that way. I think she's quite literally just telling gray to be direct with her about how he feels.
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Up until this point because everything has been gags we've never really taken juvia seriously, gray has never had a moment where he has actually acknowledged and confronted her feelings for him and told her how he feels in return. Erza is basically telling him to stop just brushing off or avoiding her advances and just be direct with her, whether you like someone back or just want them to leave you alone being direct is good advice.
It's advice that gray takes to heart as we see here in the final episode of gmg
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I really don't understand where people get the idea that erza was saying he needs to accept juvias love because this scene is literally him taking her advice and his answer is "no I don't like this leave me alone please". This would be fine but what happens next is just downright confusing
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She just, doesn't care?? I genuinely don't understand why this scene was added in at all if it wasn't gonna matter. Like I said I can write off most gags but this was NOT a gag. Gray had a very serious talk with a close friend where he got the advice to be direct, he had a very serious moment where he very seriously took that advice and told juvia exactly how he feels, why does she just ignore it??? It's such a weird decision to make because it makes all of juvias future advances come off WAY creepier then they did before even when they are just gags because gray has already very seriously told her to stop.
I've heard some argue that gray actually does like juvia he's just afraid to admit it and he's forcing himself to say he doesn't like her in this scene, but regardless of whether he secretly feels something for her a no is a no and it's reaaalllyyy creepy to just not accept that. Hear me out here, what if right after gray did this juvia listened.
She did back off of him and gave him his space, then if you still wanted them to have a relationship maybe gray starts to miss her? Give him some autonomy and room for us to actually see him develop genuine feelings for her rather then having her force them onto him because without seeing Gray's side it just feels one sidedly obsessive. I know people argue he's just afraid to confront his feelings but you need to actually show us that, give him a scene where he's thinking about her or actually missing her in some way when she's not around if you want to show us that gray isn't just being forced into things he doesnt want. If juvia had backed off here I would have probably liked the ship a lot more A) because it would give gray room to develop on his own and B) it would show that juvia has restraint and genuine respect for Gray's feelings even if he doesn't like her the way she likes him.
Rant over, again no hate to gruvia fans. It's fiction I don't actually take it to seriously if you love gruvia live your truth🙏🙏. I like gruvia in theory it's just poorly executed sometimes and I could fix it fr fr
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fushiglow · 1 year
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Who the hell is Gojō Satoru?
Some thoughts on his character in 236
Seeing everyone arguing about Gojō’s characterisation in 236 over the last week makes me realise just how good the chapter is, no matter how dissatisfied I am with Gojō's death.
When you're upset about something, it's hard to judge accurately whether something is 'bad' or whether you simply don't like it — and they are different things. Interestingly, 236 presented me with a conflict I've never experienced when following a story before. I'm really disappointed with the way Gege Akutami chose to end Gojō's story, but I think 236 will go down as one of the most beautiful chapters of Jujutsu Kaisen. In that sense, my feelings about the chapter after a week of sitting with it aren't too unrecognisable from my initial feelings — just with all of the big emotions that were colouring my judgment stripped away.
I think there *is* value in immediate reactions, and I think much of the initial outrage about the chapter was simply people grieving what was an intentionally shocking end to a beloved character. I hate that people tried to police social media reactions to the chapter, because I think everyone should be allowed to process their feelings in their own online space (as long as they don't bring harm to others, of course).
Aside from the outpouring of emotion, there have been countless arguments about 'who' Gojō was as a person in the end, and that doesn't sit right with me either. I think many artists would be disappointed to hear fans of their work insist that there is one 'proper' interpretation — because the value of sharing your art with the world is in how different people receive it based on their own experiences.
To me, that's Gojō Satoru as a character.
I know lots of people have already shared some variation of the post below (and everyone has moved on to 237 now anyway) but this was sitting in my drafts so I thought I may as well hit post before 237 is officially released!
In my analysis of Gojō's character after 235, I talked about how Gege Akutami keeps Gojō at a distance from both the readers and the characters around him, making it deliberately difficult to know who he is as a person. Despite that, everyone in-universe and out has something to say about Gojō's character, but we've never really known how Gojō views himself until this chapter.
For maybe the first time in Jujutsu Kaisen, we get to deep dive into Gojō's interior world and hear his innermost thoughts when he's at his lowest and most vulnerable. As a result, something fascinating happened across the fandom.
Even when Gojō literally tells Getō that the 'wretchedness of isolation' is something he shares with Sukuna, that he gave everything he had so that Sukuna might understand him and be understood in turn, and that he knows not everyone will get it, some people called Gojō 'out of character' in 236.
And isn't that just so damn meta?!
Akutami loves challenging readers' assumptions through his characters, so while the chapter is shocking, it isn't really surprising. I'd even go as far as suggesting that the journey of emotions the reader experiences while reading 236 is the exact same journey Gojō is going on in-story.
The thing is, I've seen tons of people arguing about whether Gojō was selfless or selfish, whether he fought for the love of his students or for the love of the fight, whether he took strong young sorcerers under his wing from a place of care or simply as a means to an ends — but I think the point is that it's always been all of those things at once.
Because he's human, and humans contain multitudes.
I think we were meant to have our view of Gojō shaken by 236 — the same way Gojō's view of himself is challenged in this chapter. However, just because we can find some truth in Nanami's criticism of Gojō, doesn't mean that his interpretation of Gojō's character is the correct one — especially when it's entirely possible that what happens in the airport isn't even real.
Getō listens with empathy as Gojō confesses his self-doubt and regrets, the solitude of his strength, and the dehumanisation he experienced as the 'Strongest'. He even expresses jealousy when Gojō admits he had fun fighting someone strong enough to understand him. Then, only two pages after Gojō says, 'You can cherish a flower and help it bloom, but you don't ask it to understand you', Nanami appears and calls him a pervert for his approach to sorcery.
It's actually really funny.
Importantly, Nanami isn't exactly wrong for saying the enjoyment Gojō gets from fighting is a little disturbing (and, to be clear, I *adore* this about him) — it's just not the whole picture of Gojō Satoru.
Akutami actually gives us some lovely imagery to visually represent the gulf between those who understand the solitude of strength and those who don't — Gojō and Getō sit on one side of the bench while Nanami and Haibara sit on the other, with each duo facing in opposite directions.
I don't think Akutami is implying that either side is wrong or right — it's just two different perspectives. Nevertheless, Gojō is pictured side by side with someone who understands him, and back to back with someone who doesn't understand him but who cares for him all the same.
Recognising this, he pivots to asking Nanami about something they can both relate to and receives an important lesson in return. What Nanami means and what Gojō takes from it is deliberately ambiguous, like everything that's discussed inside the airport:
Could Sukuna have won without the Ten Shadows?
Who does the 'flower' represent: Gojō, the people around him, or both?
Did Gojō reach Sukuna like he hoped?
Why exactly is Getō jealous?
Does Gojō feel satisfied?
Is Nanami's assessment of Gojō's character correct?
What is the relevance of north and south?
Which direction did Gojō choose?
Is it all in Gojō's imagination or is it real?
Whether we'll receive answers to those questions remains to be seen, but I highly suspect that most of them don't even have a definitive answer.
Once again, it's just a matter of perspective, and I think that's Gojō's character in a nutshell. Whichever side of the bench you're sitting on, whatever you see in Gojō says more about you than it does about him — and that's exactly why it's so fascinating to see the fandom erupt into arguments about who's interpreting the character correctly.
I can honestly say I think the chapter is really beautiful even though I hate what happened to Gojō, and that's an entirely new experience for me. For that alone, Akutami has my praise. Whatever happens in the rest of the story will determine whether 236 becomes my favourite chapter in the whole of Jujutsu Kaisen — isn't that bizarre?
By the way, I found a really thoughtful post about some of the word choices in 236. The poster shared some really interesting insights across a series of posts and they convey the tone of the chapter really well. Well worth checking out!
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ayeliiss · 2 months
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My two cents on MHA430 and Izuku's character
Disclaimer: this is NOT a hate post against Horikoshi and his manga. Simply, I need to lash my disappointment out somewhere and write my feelings down before I implode. I'm not trying to sound like 'ugh, I know better than them' at all, although I am aware some of my claims may give the 'why does the author think he knows so much?!' vibes, but keep in mind this is just my irrelevant opinion and it won't change anything anyway. So, please, don't come at me with 'lacking reading comprehension' or 'you're coping' (yes, I am) because I feel like fans are allowed to be upset at this ending even if you think differently! To each their own opinion, as long as it's respectful! Also, this might be unnecessarily long so, I apologize in advance.
Discussion about Izuku's character
First of all, if you're satisfied with the ending and what Izuku did/became, I'm genuinely happy for you. Truthfully, I envy you so damn much because I personally couldn't stop feeling empty and crying at night for him, and before you come at me with 'girl, he's fictional, it's okay you'll move on', yes, I know I'm a drama queen and I shouldn't be in one hell of a state for a fictional character, but I can't help it. I've grown as attached to him as I've ever grown to any character before, and there's no turning back. MHA is the first manga that ever moved me this hard and it'll forever remain a masterpiece for me, but it doesn't mean it's not flawed and should be free of criticism (always with respect for Horikoshi's work).
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Funny thing is, I didn't even like Izuku when I first met him. He was the typical crybaby and too-optimistic MC I tend to dislike when I read a manga. Yet, the more I read, the more I started to understand him, the more I sympathized with him, and the more I loved him. I realized I related to him to such an outlandish extent, though I know we remain different in the way we act or think. But Izuku, even before Katsuki (and my friends know how obsessed I am with this blond lmao), became my first and greatest over-fixation and my main reason to continue reading/watching MHA. This manga changed my life; Izuku did too, and this isn't an understatement.
Just like him—and probably just like many of us—, I've endured bullying, been made fun of for being different, felt unwanted and hated, been belittled, and treated like shit for most of my teenage years. I think that's what really endeared him to me. I wanted to watch him grow, to watch him make real friends, to watch him receive the apologies and respect he deserved, to see him succeed. I wanted him to realize he was worth it and loved and, oh God, I wish he could know just how much his fans do love him.
And for 200+ chapters, I got what I wanted. Izuku got to live his dream, be around his idol who recognized him, and made new friends who admired him and wanted nothing but to be by his side. Then, the Vigilante arc happened, and everything changed. I won't dwell on the fact that, for me, this arc was the beginning of the decline of his character. It's worth noting though that it's at this precise moment that we've lost track of all his thoughts, but I'll focus on the ending, and how the way Horikoshi handled Izuku's character remains my biggest disappointment.
I sometimes joked with a friend of mine, saying, "Hori's favorite character is Katsuki and it shows so much, he even forgets he isn't his MC!" but I don't think it's much of a joke anymore.
Again, I'm very happy for those who are pleased with Izuku's closure. But, honestly, I can't grasp their process of thinking (I wish I could) because there's no way I can understand how it makes sense. It's not about him being quirkless—actually, I think this choice was cool—, it's about his obvious fucking depression.
After his initial withdrawal, there is never any resolution. He has never talked about his feelings to anyone, never opened up about all the things that bugged him, never taken it out on anyone. He just stopped having development, and never learned how to 'control his heart' (one of the biggest plots of the story, remember???). So, he continues to take everything up on his shoulders by the end of the story, and eight years later, he is feeling lonely, as he says himself:
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Yes, I can read, and I know he's also saying he's happy with helping/encouraging other people. But it's literally denial. Izuku is in denial and it hurts me so much. He's alone (I'm not talking about how he's barely seen his friends, I know they didn't abandon him or anything, I'm talking about how he is feeling in general), deprived of his dream, and never got to talk about it to anyone (at least, on-screen. And if it's not shown, then it didn't happen). Even the adults around him don't see he's in pain—or, at least, don't think it's worth addressing. Aizawa can't even simply answer 'yes, you're cool' when Izuku obviously seeks praise and needs nice words after everything he's been through. He doesn't even get fans (except for two, waouh!) after saving the fucking world. He doesn't get a statue, no recognition. Katsuki leads a project for him to get a suit, but not the government? After everything he did? Why isn't he more recognized and acknowledged for his hard work? Killing him would've almost felt like a better choice lol (#it's a joke).
Even if, in the end, he gets to join his friends again and be a hero with them, he's still not opening up. How is it sane/healthy for him???? How will he even be able to maintain good relationships of any kind if there are already so many and huge miscommunication issues?
I hate this—I dislike how it's basically saying 'his feelings weren't that important!'. Izuku deserved better, a better closure. So much is missing from him; from this bitter ending, and I can't find any way to make myself feel better or to cope with it.
I am devastated, I feel empty for him, I just want someone to take him to therapy, to help him.
Some rumors have started to spread, about how 'Horikoshi has been forced to shorten his manga' but I don't believe this—MHA has been SJ's money-maker for a while. And even if it were to be true, the epilogue could've been handled differently. Hori could've focused on the most important parts (that he hasn't even shown/resolved at all) and left the irrelevant ones out (why introduce a new character if not to make us feel hopeful to see Tenko again, lol). He chose to not address the most important aspects of his story (including his MC's resolution and growth) and left us with huge plot holes. And now, we're stuck with our imagination, as usual.
I just can't with 'open endings' and 'it's left to interpretation' stuff. It's too easy to do that. I'm tired of mangakas not taking risks, rushing their own plots, and not digging deeper into their own MCs' traumas. I don't know what happened, but among the many issues left regarding this last chapter, Izuku's conclusion remains my greatest ick. I'm so sorry to say this, but Izuku didn't grow. He never learned from his mistakes and just didn't change—oh wait. Yes, he did change on one crucial aspect—his biggest trait, being obsessed with his childhood friend, totally disappeared! Maybe he started to stop caring about 'Kacchan and the others' and put himself first, to the point of forgetting the said childhood friend died twice for him, who knows? :))) (yeah, I'm especially pissed off at this lol don't mind me).
In my imagination, I see him being a pro-hero who continues to suppress his feelings and continues to act recklessly, to risk his life in the face of any danger that shows up. This is what happens when you leave it to fans' imagination, after all.
I know fanfictions exist, and I'm very happy this unclear ending motivated some writers to challenge their creativity. For me, it had the opposite effect. I'm disgusted, I am angry at Izuku and I know I'll struggle to finish my fics where he's involved because I don't want to deal with his character anymore. I'm too attached to canonical representation.
Man, I'm just devastated. I have no other words. And I'll have to live with this for the rest of my life. I feel betrayed. Shitted on. I'm dying inside and there's nothing I can do because it's over. Just like this long-ass essay, btw lol. Thank you if you're still here, thank you if you've read this! I'm pretty much open to discussion so if anyone wants to try and reassure me over some aspects or respectfully explain why I am wrong (I know I probably am, yet again those are my own feelings), please don't hesitate to do so. Also, I definitely need friends with whom I could talk about this deeper... so, my DMs are open too if you'd like to!
Much love to Izuku though; one of the best MCs I've encountered in my life, despite how he turned.
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tallulah477 · 6 months
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Below the cut contains my thoughts and feelings about certain issues that I've seen recently that I feel like need to be addressed including hate/bullying, the new Neteyam & Lo'ak rp blogs, and the general fandom as a whole.
CW:// Mentions of pedophilia, predators, racism, and homophobia
Over the past several months, and especially over these past several days, it's come to my attention that we as a fandom need to make some things abundantly clear.
I was a silent reader for a long time. I love Avatar and this fandom with my entire heart and I wanted nothing more than to be an active part of it and member of the community, but the thing that stopped me for a long time was seeing how hateful people can be and I wasn't sure if I could handle it. Obviously, I decided that my happiness and sharing my love for Avatar and the characters with other people who love it as much as I do is more important than any nasty messages I might get and I couldn't be happier with my decision. I think I can safely say that most of us here in the fandom can say the same (although I'm sure the feeling of happiness comes with endless ebbs and flows for all of us).
That being said, the amount of sheer bullshit that I've been seeing on here is ridiculous.
The amount of hate messages that I've had to witness my mutuals receive is unacceptable. The amount of hounding as to why someone unfollowed this person, why aren't they interacting with this person anymore, why would someone write something like this, why won't you write this, is crazy to see. I've seen racist comments, I've seen homophobic comments, and I've seen people being called a pedophile wayyyy to often now.
This is Tumblr. We are responsible for our own media consumption. We cultivate our own media experience.
That means authors write what they enjoy regardless of content as long as they are responsible and tag the work correctly. You as the reader are responsible for heeding those warnings.
This means that if two people who used to interact or follow each other all of a sudden don't or someone gets blocked, it is no one's business as to why it happened. They don't owe you an explanation and there's no need to publicize drama. Do not go into their inboxes asking for details because all that does is feed the flames.
This is supposed to be people's happy place. Our safe space. And instead it seems like there's something new happening every single day.
At this point, we've all seen the rp blogs that have popped up. I'm not generally someone who enjoys rp so I didn't interact, but I saw a ton of my mutuals and others having a great time with them. Despite me not liking rp, it was exciting to see at first. A live persona of one of my most beloved characters interacting with fics that I love? Yes, it's definitely exciting to see!
But then it got not so exciting to see. The responses seemed solely sexual and out of character for Neteyam, a lot of them were really dark and borderline violent. I like dark fics, and I love dark Neteyam. But there are warnings to every dark fic and you go into them knowing what to expect. For a blog that's rp-ing a character that's not canonically like that, it was concerning to see.
We've had issues in this fandom in the past with predators. And despite us all being adults here (at least we should all be), you can never be too careful when it comes to the internet. I am NOT saying that the people running these blogs are predators, but certain things I've seen have raised some flags to me. Rp can be really dangerous when people don't know who's behind the character, especially if things are sexual. Since then, both blogs have created 'About Me' sections which I think is good. So that's something I appreciate.
However, we've also had the opposite problem in which minors interact with us and our content. It's a huge problem that we are constantly trying to battle because while seeing/reading sexual content can be harmful for those who are underage, it's can also get us into a lot of trouble for interacting with minors even if we don't know they're underage. When the accusation that the rp accounts were minors came out, they were sent asks to confirm. One responded respectfully and one, in my opinion, responded not so respectfully. If you are ever asked if you are a minor, don't get pissed about it. It's an important question and you should understand and respect its importance. Just clarify.
I'm saying all this not because I don't think people should interact with these blogs if you want to. It's 100% up to you and I know a lot of people were having fun with it. You're all adults, do what you think is best. And I do think it would be really nice to have more guys in the community, whether they rp or not. My issue with them is more about safety than anything else.
Now back to the hate comments. For any issues I might have had with the Neteyam blog (again, no hate, just my own thoughts), I only ever saw the Lo'ak blog being respectful. Yet, I still saw someone on their actual blog, not under anon, telling him "can't you just leave?". Under no circumstances is it okay to say this to another person. Any one who is an active member of this community who posts fics or the like KNOWS what its like to receive hateful comments like this and you think its okay to say something like this to someone else? No way. I'm sure you know what it feels like to get comments like that and you decided to be nasty to another person anyway. You should know better. Anyone who can say something mean to or about another person should be ashamed of themselves.
For as much as I love this fandom, this is insane that I actually have to say this.
Be kind. Be respectful.
And if you can't?
It's called the block button, people. Use it.
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m1ssunderstanding · 9 months
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Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day Four
"Lennon's late again" says Paul, as he walks in late. And sweet Ringo just gently, "between ten and eleven is the time" Which means: "Chill babe. He'll be here."
One thing that always gob smacks me is how bored George and Ringo are watching Paul pull Get Back out of the ether. They literally see him do this shit all the time which is insane to me.
His voice is so so so pretty!!! And he's just so completely in his own world. The hunched shoulders. The twitching. The gibberish. The tapping. The twisting.
Obviously this is a song with the original central feeling being let's go back to before everything went wrong but he wants to make it into a meaningless song with both story bits and almost walrus-esque bits. But why is the first lyric he comes up with about gender? Thinking of @scurators posts on Paul and gender.
Ringo's customary quiet really does add significance to his voice, so him singing along with this so quickly says something I think about his support for the song and for Paul in general.
When John walks in he's greeted with a little cocky nod and smile like "look what I've just done while you were late." And then Paul sings "get back to where you once belonged" directly at him before breaking the eye contact. It's one of those heartbreaking Lennon/McCartney miscommunications because Paul is doing this to get John back, but actually it's scaring him away, you know? Paul thinks he has to prove to John how good he is, but John's exhausted with how good Paul is.
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STFU Michael Lindsay Hogg
Paul really does love the idea of being forced out of parliament by cops and honestly so do I. Would've been iconic and might've kept them together.
John's so quiet today and also Yoko is not here. Correlation or causation I wonder.
"They say don't they say charity begins at home?" I love you forever, George. His humor is always so well-placed and so dry (even though he's clearly cracking himself up here). And it steers the conversation away from a direction he was not happy with without poking any bears. In fact, everyone's laughing. Clever boy.
"I've decided that the whole point of it is communication. And to be on TV is communication and we've got a chance to smile at people like all you need is love or something so that's me incentive for doing it." Wise, egalitarian John making a lovely appearance.
And then there's Paul. "I'm here cause I wanna do a show." Lol I love them.
Why do they say "Mr Epstein?" Is it because they're on camera and they want people to know who they're talking about? Does it have something to do with the maharishi telling them certain ways to talk about Brian? Does anyone have any thoughts about that?
Okay so you know how I just said last time how emotionally mature George was? I still think it's generally more true of him than the others, but this right here? This is not it. "I don't want to do any of my songs in the show because they'll all just turn out shitty." Man has issues.
I think it's important to recognize that George and Paul have both said the literal word "divorce" and it's NBD. But when John does it, Paul takes it as "the groups really over and I have to go into hiding and not get out of bed and maybe od who knows." Why? There's another puzzle piece here that we're missing.
"Should we leave you for a while?" "YES!"
On the one hand I'm like "working on Maxwell is the last thing you guys should be doing with this time alone." But on the other thing maybe it's the only thing they can do at this point.
"Mal? You should get a hammer. And an anvil." As he's walking away. Main character in a contrived mad genius biopic. Except it's real.
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"Joan" sounding suspiciously like "John" ... And then he goes "fool, Maxwell fool." Aka one of their ~special words~ New theory. John hates Maxwell because he dies in it. And Paul's the killer.
"Take it away Johnny." Even though it was George and John whistling before wasn't it? Did George get cut from the whistle chorus? Another straw on the camel's back.
I LOVE that John just does not know any of his own songs. Across the Universe my beloved!
On the glyn/Paul moment featured below, I have three thoughts. 1. Whore. 2. John Lennon villain origin story. 3. The fact that glyn didn't just tell John is striking.
"I wish it fucking would". "Cause I'm down." This lyric going from a self-soothing reassurance that his people aren't going to leave him that he'll always have this beautiful dream he's created with them. To this? I hate it here.
So there is a big emotional and energy difference between their Beatlemania selves singing "Rock and Roll Music" and their current selves. And part of it is due to the fact that they're just not as happy as they were then. But I think most of it is really just that they thrive when they're performing for an audience.
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thishazbinamistake · 9 months
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In my opinion, Loona is a character with some of the most wasted potential in Helluva Boss.
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Though we don't have a ton of information about her background, we do know she lived in a shelter for much (or maybe even all) of her childhood. Loona is cold and distant to her adoptive father, and outright rude to many others, particularly Moxxie, who she constantly mocks and belittles. I'm thinking that this behavior is either a result of her upbringing, or perhaps it was even the reason she was put into the shelter to begin with. But until more is revealed about her past, I want to complain about the way she's currently written.
Loona is abusive, plain and simple. The way she treats Blitz, her adoptive father, goes way past simple angsty teenage rebellion and well into the abuse territory. Any semblance of Loona being remotely sympathetic was thrown out the window in Seeing Stars, when she kicks Blitz in the groin, all because he was relieved to see her and wanted to give her a hug. And all of that after she gives Octavia the "cut your dad some slack" speech.
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I've seen people try and defend this behavior by pointing out that Loona has childhood trauma, and this is why she has these behavioral issues. It's certainly not unheard of for victims of childhood abuse/neglect to have anger issues and poor emotional regulation, and I would have absolutely no problem with this being the case if it was shown to actually be a problem, but it isn't. Not once does Loona get called out for her behavior or face any sort of consequence for treating others poorly. If anything, this abusive behavior is treated as a joke more often than not.
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It's extremely ironic that one of the most despised characters in Helluva Boss, Stella, receives so much hate for being abusive towards Stolas, when we've seen Loona do far worse to Blitz. I honestly cannot think of a logical reason as to why we're supposed to like Loona, while also hating Stella. We see Stella nearly hit Stolas and it's (rightfully) treated as being abusive. But when Loona is constantly beating up her dad for no good reason, we're just supposed to laugh? It seems extremely hypocritical on both the writers' part, as well as many of the fans'. I honestly can't tell if the writers genuinely think this behavior is okay (when it's coming from Loona) or if they just see it as a quirky character trait of hers.
If we're supposed to find Loona likeable, which we clearly are, then the writers seriously need to start making some changes. I'm not saying they should just completely retcon Loona's character and suddenly make her nice, but they do need to start being consistant with how they portray abuse, and they seriously need to stop excusing and coddling her horrible behavior, regardless of if she has childhood trauma. That is not how you grow as a person and overcome your issues. Yes, it's a process that is often long and difficult, but it hasn't been shown that Loona is actually trying to make any change at all, or that anyone is actually encouraging her to change.
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If you want an actually halfway decent example of a character overcoming their trauma (at least within the Hellaverse) look no further than Blitz himself. It's clear his father was abusive and explotative towards him, not to mention he accidentally caused the death of his mother and the maiming of his close friend. Both of these things likely contributed to many of Blitz's flaws and issues as an adult. But the thing is, despite all that, Blitz himself isn't abusive to his daughter. He has shown nothing but unconditional love and devotion to his daughter despite his past. I'm not saying Blitz is a perfect character by any means (I won't excuse him literally threatening to rape his employees), but it really goes to show this whole argument of 'Loona acts the way she does because she has childhood trauma and that makes it okay' doesn't hold up to scrutiny as much as her stans seem to think.
I think a good idea would be to start showing more of how Loona's behavior negatively affects those around her, something which would give her the motivation to want to change. Show how hurt Blitz feels whenever Loona lashes out at him. We get a taste of this in Spring Broken when she hurts Blitz's feelings, but it's clear from both her dialogue in the scene as well as her later actions that the writers apparently don't want her to actually learn from her mistakes and grow as a character, which is such a shame.
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Loona had the opportunity to be an extremely complex and compelling character if her aggression and violent outbursts were actually addressed as being a problem she needed to overcome, and if she actually tried changing herself for the better. Seeing the effort she puts into treating others better and breaking the cycle of abuse would have made her character feel so much stronger and more likeable. But instead, the show just treats this abusive behavior as a quirky, edgy joke and "lol that's just classic Loona!! What can ya do lol!!!"
She does have her moments where a good character actually shines through, but they're so few and far in between. I want to like Loona so much, but as it currently stands, I just can't, and that makes me sad.
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