#wee John I feel got a little bit more screen time

[lornrocks]

Wait is the reason they wrote out Ivan, Buttons, and Swede because of budget cuts…?

[peachy-panic]

Only Temporary: Sebastian Tate

Hello. I was completely blown away by the positive response I got on the first piece of Jaime’s story (title under construction). Thank you to everyone who had a kind word to say about it! You made me really happy I made the mildly frightening choice to post.

In the interest of acclimating to the no-rules, freedom-to-post-out-of-order structure of this community, I wanted to introduce a new piece of the puzzle this time, with a new character that will come into play later.

Also, this piece goes into a little bit of the details, but for frame of reference on the BBU-adjacent thing: this story takes place in a not-so-distant future of the BBU, where WRU has undergone some changes. I look forward to exploring this world building more as I go.

Anyway, I’m rambling again. Thanks for reading. Here it is:

WARNINGS: General BBU warnings, talk of institutionalized slavery, classism, and general terribleness of large corporations. Referenced past homophobia and rough parental relationships, briefly implied/referenced non-con.

When Sebastian reflects on the day he graduated from med school, a sort of emptiness is the memory that first bobs to the surface. Among the cheers and camera flashes in the crowd, white coats and proud smiles, what Sebastian recalls most vividly from that day is looking out into the sea of parents and families and people there to support their loved ones on one of the biggest days of their lives, and not seeing a single person that had come for him.

What should have been one of the happiest moments of his life had been quickly overshadowed by the sinking feeling that none of it mattered as much as it would have if he had someone to share it with. Like there was something so fundamentally wrong with his life, that even something as objectively good and right and decent as becoming a doctor could be dulled over into a feeling of nothingness.

Perhaps, he thinks in hindsight, that moment had been foreshadowing for the following months ahead of him.

Watching rejection after rejection pour in from his top residency programs had felt like nothing short of his own personalized nightmare. He had spent several nights in a row on the phone with Alex, his undergrad roommate and only friend, clamoring back from the edge of many a panic attack, spiraling into all-out existential dread about the future and the past and what all of it meant for him if he couldn’t land an internship, let alone a real job out of school. To his credit, Alex never gave up hope in his friend. Or at least, he did a decent job hiding it if he did. Which was probably exactly what Sebastian needed to get through that particularly dark time in his life, and a good reminder of what a solid friend he had. Even if it was a party of two.

Unfortunately, Sebastian did not have the same faith in himself.

He was able to keep up some facade of optimism as his top five were picked off one by one. Telling himself, despite his devastation, that they were a pretty far reach, anyway. Even with good academic standing, it was famously no walk in the park to land yourself at John Hopkins or Mayo as a first-year. He even maintained a brave face as his first few safety programs reached capacity and moved forward without his name on the roster.

It wasn’t until he received his final rejection letter from some internal medicine place in Bumfuck, Idaho that he felt himself slip into dangerous territory. Sebastian knew himself well enough to know his own depressive patterns by then, and he knew it was only exponential decay from there.

Rock bottom came, as it did, in the wee hours of the night, after a full bottle of wine. Alone in his small apartment, surrounded by half-packed boxes with no destination, Sebastian found himself sprawled out on the floor with his laptop hot against his thighs. He couldn’t have explained why he opted for a privacy browser, but something about it allowed him to justify the words that he typed into the search bar.

It was a new low, and one he had sworn to himself he would never stoop to. Yet there he was.

He gave himself a moment to reconsider, to back out of what was undoubtedly a morally-gray train wreck waiting to happen as his thumb hovered over the enter key. And then the alcohol decided to override his moral compass.

Facility Care is the open secret of the medical profession. It comes with its fair share of stigma, and rightfully so, but it is notoriously easy to break into and pays a decent wage.

There are two types of people who end up stooping to that kind of employment. More often than not, it consists of doctors and nurses who had their licenses revoked or suspended somewhere along the line and needed a way back in. As far as Sebastian understood, they aren’t terribly ridgid about the particulars of each circumstance. After all, in the eyes of the law, the patients they would be treating are a price tag away from being entirely expendable.

The other percentage of Facility Care workers, and the reason Sebastian found himself staring at his too-bright computer screen with a sinking feeling of dread that night, are young medical graduates who find themselves in a tough spot. It isn’t difficult to spell out the logic behind that one when you open the WRU CAREERS tab on the home page and see the bright white words printed across the top of the screen:

LOAN FORGIVENESS.

It is shamelessly predatory and aggressively capitalistic, but Sebastian supposes that particular exploitation is pretty far down on the list of transgressions for an institution of legalized slavery. A few broke and hopeless medical students were hardly going to keep the Powers That Be up at night when they were able to rest easy under the weight of hundreds of thousands of stolen lives.

The whole thing is part of the massive PR overhaul the company did a few years back. In a world that was slowly inching toward civil activism and with the accessibility of platforms like social media to hold them accountable, WRU had to adapt to survive. Adaptation, in this case, took the form of changing the barest of minimums in order to keep themselves above board — to the public eye, anyway. Anyone who dares to take a closer look at the policy changes can see that it’s bullshit.

Changing ownership conditions to a rent-by-contract basis isn’t the humanitarian move they try to paint it as. In the end, it probably just equals out to more money in the company’s pocket when they can get more return on their “investments,” and a larger chance of exploitation for the people being moved around.

Getting rid of the Romantic division is an entirely meaningless gesture when they are still loaning out human beings with no legal rights and the inability to say “no.”

And offering an open job market with good wages and healthcare options to lower class individuals is a pretty convenient way to mute the backlash.

Essentially, you can tie a system of slavery and abuse up in a bow and make it pretty on the outside, but at the end of the day, it’s still fucking slavery.

Not that he has any room to criticize now. Now that he’s one of them.

In the end, Seb tries to justify his decision a few different ways. He is, after all, more or less a young man alone in the world. The odds are stacked against him and have been for a while. With only his own two legs to stand on, the only force stronger than his internal ambition is his instinct for survival, and he’s been running on those fumes for longer than he can count.

He had lasted less than two months under his parents’ roof after he came out of the closet at eighteen. It wasn’t exactly a surprise for anyone involved; Sebastian’s parents had known about (and subsequently bottled) his… urges… since he was in high school. Probably before that, if he is being honest with himself. And Sebastian, for his part, had spent the better part of his teenage years mentally preparing for the inevitable. He can recall long, late nights he had spent crying into his pillow and the perfectly-scripted ‘coming out’ speeches he recited to his mirror when he was one-hundred percent sure his parents were asleep.

Of course, none of the preparation had been anywhere near adequate when he actually found himself wilting beneath the heat of his father’s glare, the weight of his mother’s grief.

But. He had recovered. That is the point he tries to remember when the memories sting fresh beneath his skin, even all these years later. He has more-than proven himself to be a survivor. He has worked harder than anyone he knows for every scholarship, every grant, every dollar to put himself through school. Sacrificed nights out and real relationships for night shifts at shitty diners and long weekends cramming for exams. It hadn’t been easy, but he considers it the price he had to pay for his independence. For freedom, to live the life as the person he is meant to be, despite his unfortunate odds. He spent years telling himself it would be worth it. That one day, his hard work would pay off.

He can’t stop now.

Sebastian doesn’t have the luxury of taking time off to reroute when his navigation has gone amiss. He is walking the precarious line of rapidly accruing interest and student loans and a dwindling savings account, and there is no safety net below him.

Beggars can’t be choosers, and as it turns out, beggars sometimes have to compromise their moral integrity in order to survive.

It’s only temporary.

That is the mantra that gets him through the (half-drunken) application process and the (disturbingly lax) interview process. It is a job. One job. In the medical field, though the details are up for debate, and it is real-life money for rent and food and a savings that will hopefully be sizable enough to get him where he really wanted to be. Which is… really, anywhere else.

He can do ‘temporary.’ And perhaps, some misguided part of him thinks he can do some genuine good from the inside, too. ‘Be the change you want to see’ and all that.

It is a far jump from the floor of his apartment, sloshed and exhausted and desperate, to the cold, sharp reality of walking into his place of employment on his first day of work. Ironically, it feels a lot like an echo of the emptiness from his graduation day.

‘Sterile’ doesn’t quite cover it. ‘Sterile’ is the expectation of any well-respected medical establishment, but the inside of the facility walls has been wiped clean of far more than bacteria and germs. It is completely devoid of humanity. The long corridors that connect the medical wing to the general ward are windowless and dimly lit by flickering fluorescent panels that had make his head pound for the entirety of his first week.

He is given an office, though it is a term he, himself, might use loosely, as it is more akin to what was probably a storage closet before the old prison had been converted into the state’s training headquarters. It leaves him just enough space for a small desk and two chairs. On his first day, he asks if it is okay to bring in some personal items to spruce the place up. The older, balding doctor who had been assigned to show him around merely shrugs, and Sebastian decides to take that as a yes.

The small, pink-framed photo of a six-year-old Sebastian Tate in his grandfather’s white coat and an old-school stethoscope around his neck is hardly enough to make the place cozy from the corner of his desk, but it’s a good enough reminder of why he has to make this work.

‘It’s only temporary.’

‘Be the change you want to see.’

He will do his best.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Reasons Doug’s Pretty Great

It’s hard to believe that it’s been nine years since the first episode of S1 was released. I can still remember be a wee little lass first discovering it on youtube and becoming obsessed. At the time, I had no where to play it myself, so I watched as many playthroughs as I could until my family got an xbox. 

While the first episode in this series has a lot of memorable moments, the one that always stands out in people’s memories is the moment where you’re trying to escape the drugstore as walkers pound away at the door and windows, and you realize that both Carley and Doug need your help or they’re going to die. 

But... you can only save one, and whoever you don’t help, they end up being eaten alive by walkers and you get to feel bad about it for the rest of the episode. 

I bring this up because it’s interesting to look back nine years ago and see that... well, not a lot of people saved Doug. Which is crazy, because now the stats are pretty 50/50 with Doug even having a bit of an edge over Carley. That definitely wasn’t the case back then because the stats were more along the line of 20/80.

Why? Well, the writer’s didn’t exactly do the best job of showing how great Doug is in ep1, especially compared to Carley who has more interactions with Lee and more screen time.... which is even funnier because they did actually think they did a good job and were surprised by the results after the episode’s release.

Even back then they had a habit of making imbalanced routes then denying the imbalance... something they never grew out of. 

I guess they were a little butthurt about it since Doug is a favorite among the team given that he’s actually based on a real person, Doug Tabacco, an IT guy they worked with. This got to the point where Telltale never missed an opportunity to tell everyone to #SaveDoug over Carley.

I also love that they use the Stranger to guilt trip everyone who saved Carley by having him be like, “Doug was in a worse position! >:( You only saved Carley because she was a pretty girl!!” just.... real subtle, guys haha

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that more often than not, I choose to save Carley over Doug for many reasons, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate Doug and enjoy having him around in the off chance I do save him. So I thought it’d be fun to talk about Doug as a character and why he was pretty great as a little tribute, y’know? 

5. Doug’s a pretty funny dude

Now, I wouldn’t exactly call twdg a comedy, y’know? It gets dark, then manages to get even darker at times, but if the game was nothing but doom and gloom, it’d get boring and become unenjoyable. 

While other characters do get a laugh out of me from time to time, I enjoy the humor that Doug brings to the group, even if it’s not intentional and just the way he is. 

Even from the beginning, Doug had me chuckling with the fact that this nerdy dude didn’t want to bring profanity to Lee’s ears when talking about Larry, so he’s just like “ He's kind of a dick... pardon my french,” like Doug.... it’s okay, you can call him an asshole, no one will judge hahaha.

Then there’s the biscuit scene that I think we all know and love. Helps break the tension of meeting these weirdo’s who own a dairy and are totally not suspicious or anything. 

But it’s not even just that Doug is funny, he’s also a character that gets you to crack a smile when he’s talking about something he’s passionate about, or when he’s proud of the alarm he rigged up, or when he’s being adorably awkward. 

One of my favorites is in ep3 when Lee goes to ask Doug if he has any chalk, and he goes into this spiel about charcoal-- “You know, a piece of charcoal is a suitable alternative, depending on your marking surface. Since we're on the subject, did you know that while chalk is traditionally known to be calcium carbonate, what's often used in classrooms is actually made of gypsum, thanks to favorable domestic mining conditions?”

And Lee’s response is just-- “Doug, I did not know that.”

“Happy to be of service.”

It’s just really funny... and it makes you feel better after all the implications about Doug’s mental health in the episode... like you gave him a moment to flex his knowledge and get excited about it. 

But yeah, what can I say? Doug makes me laugh and he brings a bit of light to the groups constant shitshow. 

4. Doug saved the group’s ass at the St John farm

And he did so with a laser pointer. 

I always hate it when Doug/Carley leave the group at the St Johns and remain absent for most of the episode, though I chalk that up to the writers trying to make the different routes easier on themselves, y’know? 

But, at least they come back to save the day. 

In Doug’s case, he’s not comfortable with guns like Carley is, so he’s gotta get creative when it comes to getting Lee’s attention and stopping Andy from hurting Duck and Lee. 

That’s where his fancy little laser pointer comes in. 

We first see him with it during the walk to the farm, but then see it in action after Lee escapes the barn and is nearly blinded by the light. Doug claims he was doing morse code before Lee tells him and Ben that these assholes cut off Mark’s legs and tried to feed them to the group. 

Now, here’s the thing... If Doug and Ben had done what they were told and stayed at the motor inn over night, things probably wouldn’t have turned out so good for the group. Doug is the one who shines the laser pointer in Andy’s eyes when he’s got ahold of Duck, giving Lee the advantage of attack. Without that, if Lee tried anything, he would’ve ended up like dingdong Kenny with a bullet in his side. 

Also there’s just a lot of bravery from Doug, y’know? Like as soon as he finds Lee and knows the situation, the first thing he asks is what can they do to help, and he sticks around to do what he can.... even if it is just to point a laser in someone’s eye. 

No one gives Doug enough credit for savin’ the day, y’know? And if you have any doubt, even Lee says, “I never thought a laser pointer would be the thing that saved our lives.”

3. Doug’s friendship with Lee

Speaking of Lee, his friendship with Doug is underrated. The two have chemistry and work off each other well in the scene’s they’re in. While it’s not as strong as Carley’s in ep1, saving Doug and having around in ep2 & ep3 lets you see it at it’s best, y’know? 

After Lee saves his life at the drugstore, Doug is shown to mourn Carley and asks Lee why he would pick him, lamenting that he wished he had picked her over him and you can tell that Doug feels that he owes Lee a lot for saving him. Hell, he even says as much when Lee tries to give him food in ep2-- “Why don't you keep my share today. I know I said it didn't matter why you saved me and not Carley, but... I owe you a lot more than half a day's rations."

Also, I love this one line from Kenny when you’re on bad terms with him and they’re talking about going separate ways where he’s basically like “We all know Doug’s gonna stay with you because you saved him that ONE time >:(” and on top of it being such a bitchy Kenny line, it also shows that every can see that Doug is a loyal friend to Lee and would want to stick with him where ever he decides to go. 

One thing that I think people tend to overlook, though, is how concerned Lee is with Doug’s mental health in ep3. There are implications that Doug might be suffering with depression due to the situation of the walkers, bandits harrassing and threatening them, and believing that he isn’t useful to the group, stating that he feel pretty worthless. Lee asks Clementine if he seems sad, and hell, he even talks to Lilly about it.

In fact, speaking of Clementine, Doug is real sweet with her, too. Of course, he gives her those batteries for her walkie, but he also asks about how she’s doing as they’re leaving the dairy. Hell, 8 years later, Clementine still remembers him by name and how sweet he was when fucking dingdong Lilly can’t remember his damn name. That says a lot. 

Y’all know how important Clementine is to Lee, so he wouldn’t have grown as close to Doug if he wasn’t a genuinely good person who treated Clementine with kindess. 

I dunno, there’s a lot of trust and care between the two and it’s a relationship that I truly love. I just wish we could’ve seen a bit more of it but y’know...#2 happened. 

2. Doug saved Ben’s life

Yeah, I think we all saw this coming...

Look, doesn’t matter what you think about Ben, okay? Not what we’re talkin’ about. We’re talkin’ about Doug saving Ben’s life, which unfortunately meant ending his own.

Still haven’t forgiven Lilly for this one. Though I’ve always found the difference between Doug and Carley’s death’s interesting. With Carley, Lilly intentionally kills her after Carley tells her off. But with Doug, Lilly was aiming for Ben and even when Doug pulled him out of the way, she still fired the gun... even though she didn’t have a clear shot and ended up hitting Doug. 

Then she tries to play it off like it was an accident which, yeah I guess it was but that doesn’t change that you were intending to murder this 6ft tall child. 

It’s just... I dunno, man, it’s sad. I always feel more sorrow for Doug’s death, but more anger for Carley’s? Even though both make me angry, it’s just different characters, different things that led to their deaths, different feelings. This is the first real “Fuck you, Lilly” moment for me and she can spend the next 8 years wandering around for all I can. 

Doug didn’t deserve this shit. 

But, the reason I put this at #2 because it really says a lot about Doug as a character. The second he saw Lilly aim that gun, he yanked Ben out of the way. He could’ve gone into shock, he could’ve just yelled “no!”, or he could’ve gone at Lilly instead.... but no, his first instinct was to grab Ben and move himself in front and it really fucking sucks that that’s what killed him. 

And y’know this isn’t the first time Doug has put himself in danger to save someone. I already talked about him saving everyone at the dairy, but can we not forget how he and Carley met? She was gonna get eaten by walkers then our big hero Doug came in and saved her?? Didn’t know her or anything, just saw her and her crew getting attacked and did what he could to save any survivors?? 

Like... no one talks about that because it’s so played off and never brought up again and I need everyone to remember this, okay? 

Doug selflessly putting himself in danger to help those around him? Fantastic. Beautiful. Love that.

1. Look, Doug himself is just #1. His personality, intelligence, everything.

Wow, Doug’s personality being the #1 reason he’s so great? Who woulda thought?

Well, ME woulda thought because obviously.

Listen... in case you haven’t gather this from the previous four entries, Doug is an intelligent, awkward, caring, selfless, funny, and brave man, okay? He’s likable, he tries his damnedest to pull his weight for the group, he shows actual loyalty and kindness unlike some people, and when he tends to avoid the constant Lilly and Kenny conflicts, he does his best to step in when things take a serious turn, hence the Ben situation. 

No to mention the dude is smart. 

I mean, he really took a random remote and was like, “Oh it’s universal, let me just program it to work on ALL the random TV’s across the street as a way to distract these walkers!” like dude.... you just know how to do that, huh? 

Or his fun little bell trap that alerts the groups of strangers and walkers? Oh, and remember when he fixed the RV by hitting it with a fucking hammer and was like “It works now, drive!” 

And have I mentioned that he bested Andy St John with a goddamn laser pointer?? 

Oh, also wanna add that I really like his voice acting, as well. He’s voiced by Sam Joan, who does a good job at selling Doug’s soft-spoken but intelligent nature, and knows how to pull off “dorky” when needed... and I mean that in a good way, when he’s talking about charcoal Doug is being a dork and I love him.

I mean... what else is there to say?

All that’s left to do is pull a Telltale and--

#SaveDoug

---

Honorable Mentions

-Doug is a pie guy, going off of that time he named all the different kinds of pie he could thing of and I feel that.  -He’s a very fashionable person. I want that weird polar bear deer thing shirt he wears in ep1.  -also, you can’t go wrong with socks and sandals, my dude.  -He had a crush on Carley and honestly, I feel that, too. 

---

There it is, there’s my whole thing about Doug. What are your thoughts? When it comes to that choice in ep1 of s1, do you save Doug or do you save Carley? Do you agree or disagree with any of my choices for this list? Or have anything to add? I’m always down to chat.

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

—

Next week’s T5F

[wafflesetc]

I’ll be there for you II- Chapter 5 (previously)

A/N: It’s been a while. More like a hot second. It was much needed the time I took from writing some of my original stuff. I’ve been in a much better place and have been able to find my footing again. A special thanks to  @missclairebelle,  @kkruml, @walkinginland​ and @happytoobserve! Sometimes it really does take a village and I am so grateful to have them in mine. This chapter will be a two part arc, so hang on tight.  XO. 

The One With The First Fight Claire 

Late Tuesday Night

What was happening? I didn’t really know.

Was it something I could blame on the hormones? Probably. 

Was it something that was inevitable? Maybe.

Being with Jamie was something that was as easy as breathing. He was a missing half I hadn’t known I had even been missing. Our coming together was under less than ordinary circumstances, yet falling in love with your best friend-- that’s the thing I had heard about in movies. I had never seen myself falling for a red-headed Scot from the Highlands.

Truthfully, I hadn’t seen myself falling for anyone. Especially not when it came to the long haul. I had a plan for my life: medical school, residency, trying to save the world. I had always just had a plan for me.  I had never envisioned having to involve someone else in my hopes and dreams.

In retrospect, I had been self sufficient for so long that it almost hindered me. It was one of my greatest strengths, yet it was also my biggest flaw.  And while I had dated men off and on for long spurts, marriage had never seemed like it would happen for me. 

I also had not pictured myself becoming a mother, yet here I was. I had reached 17 weeks. The app on my phone said baby girl was the size of a pomegranate. I was starting to have some small stretch marks on my hips. My boobs were itchy and it seemed like every time I got on the scale the number just grew heavier and heavier. Not that I minded- because I didn’t. Our little lass was healthy, and that was all I could ask for.

So much had changed in my life in such a short amount of time. Things had been perfect… It was only right that something happened and a blow up occurred. The honeymoon phase couldn’t last forever.

My hand searched the vacant spot next to me. The sheets were cold and the lack of his presence set chills down my spine. He hadn’t come to bed yet- if at all. I reached for my phone and glanced at the screen - 2:08AM. No missed calls. No text messages. Nothing.

Hmmmm I mused to myself. Slowly, I got out of our bed and walked around our bedroom. No sign of the clothes he had been wearing discarded on the floor. It looked like nothing had been touched. I made my way through the living room and into the kitchen, no sign of Jamie anywhere. 

I could feel a sense of urgency and nervousness rising in the pit of my stomach. Surely nothing had happened to him- if it had, someone at the hospital would have called me.  They would. Geillis, no doubt. 

I took the plaid blanket from the edge of the couch and wrapped myself in it, waiting.

12 Hours Earlier (2:15PM) Jamie

“She hasna been home in almost 50 hours.” He looked to the right before entering the crosswalk. “I get she is a doctor, but it’s no’ just her she’s looking after now.  We have the bairn coming and I dinna think she should be on her feet this long.”

He heard John’s sigh through the phone and could picture the eye roll that went with it. “I heard you Jamie, but Claire is a smart woman. And she is a doctor… I highly doubt she would take any unnecessary risk that would cause harm to her or the child.” 

“Yer no’ helping me, man.” He clutched his phone a little tighter. “It’s my child too- I think I have some say.”

“I agree with you, friend. I think you have a right- as the father of the child- and as her boyfriend to have the discussion with her,” John let out a breath, “But remember it is her body and her career, ultimately she is the one who will make the final call.”

“I ken.” Jamie said, stopping in his tracks. He leaned against the wall behind him. “I just… I dinna want anything to happen to her or the bairn. When she’s home I can protect them but when she’s gone, I canna do a thing.” 

“That’s a natural response, Jamie. You two will find the balance- this has all been moving at a rapid pace and there’s been very little time for you or Claire to adjust.” 

“Aye” He mumbled, trying to listen to his friend. Logically he knew John was right but he was still slightly annoyed that his friend didn’t agree with him.” Weel, listen, I have to walk into a meeting here in a minute. I’ll talk to her tonight.” 

“Good luck.” John encouraged him as the call promptly ended. 

He gathered the last of his reserve, stashing his phone in his pocket and headed into his work meeting. 

                                                   ___________

He was tired- mentally, physically, emotionally. The work project he had on a deadline was wearing him out. It had been days of meetings upon meetings in person. It was late nights staring into his computer screen. 

And somehow, it was only Tuesday.

The start of the weekend hadn’t been bad. Claire had gotten home at a reasonable hour and spent the night lounging in his old shirt while watching medical documentaries on the TV. He had completed two work proposals with her feet in his lap. It had been decided they were ordering in- their favorite Thai place from right down the road. Later that night, she had fallen asleep in their bed with her head in his lap. The pressures from his job eased every moment he looked to find her presence close to his.

Saturday was a day she used to clean the apartment. Claire had turned on her 80s romcom playlist, still wearing his shirt from the night before. She hadn’t even bothered to wash her hair. He had set up camp on the dining room table. Papers and plans laid out all around him. There were no conference calls or videos to be had, but finalization of contracts and plans. 

His favorite thing about the day had been the sheer fact that Claire had decided not to wear any breeks. His shirt hung just past the bottom of her bum and every time she reached just up enough he caught a glimpse of her solid round arse. Her hips had been slowly changing becoming a wee bit wider. It was subtle and normal people wouldn’t see it- she was carrying her  pregnancy in her petite frame, yet with the changes there was just more for him to dote on.

“You like me just for my butt.” She quipped when she wiped down the last window. 

“Aye,”  He had said, closing his computer. “I am done for the day, Sassenach. It’s been the first real day we have alone and together. I dinna intend to spend it staring at yer arse, when I can fondle it.” 

“See if you can make me scream.” She challenged him. 

The next morning he woke to find her kneeling beside his side of the bed. 

“I don’t want to leave you,” She whispered, running her hands through his hair, “But I must. The hospital is short staffed and you,” she kissed the top of his nose, “Have some deadlines. I think we both are better off getting actual work done.” 

“Will ye be home, later?” His voice was husky with sleep. 

“I should be. I’m tired, I didn't really sleep last night thanks to you.” She smiled at him, her curls falling down the sides of her face.

“Mmmm, it doesna sounds like ye were complaining to me.” He reached his hand from under the covers and placed it on the small swell of her belly. “Take care of yerself, Sassenach.” 

“I’ll take care of the both of us, I promise.” She said in honesty. She placed a hand over his, squeezing it. “I know my limits.” 

The sound of her pager went off, reminding him of their goodbye. 

“I’ll call you on my break, love you!” 

It was the last thing she said as he turned over and fell back asleep.

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

linger like a tattoo kiss

chapter two of the peter losing wendy series

*inspired by Taylor Swift’s Folklore*

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Original Character (Liz Walker)

Warnings: mentions of suicide, PLEASE proceed with caution, drinking/partying, smoking, mentions of emotional abuse, does not follow the plot of the canon material

Word Count: 5.4K

Summary: Liz has a run-in with a Kook at a party. JJ, strangely, shows up late.

May 4, 2019

With a headache, Liz awoke, scrunching up her nose at the sound of the rooster out in the chicken coop. The sky was just barely alight with the rising sun, and a chilly morning breeze blew through the screens in the windows. Early May, and summer had still yet to set in. Not a problem to Liz, though. She was always glad to go a few extra weeks without the thick blanket of humidity which began to suffocate the Outer Banks every year by June. Debating whether or not to move, she stared up at the ceiling with tired eyes. There were cracks on the white surface, and a couple brownish water stains from the last tropical storm.

Despite the open windows, John B’s house still smelled stale after a night of debauchery. Empty bags of chips, green glass bottles, and rolling papers littered the rickety dining table. After the party at the Boneyard, the Pogues had migrated back to the Chateau and continued into the darkest hours of the night. Judging from the orangey hue of the sky, they couldn’t have gone to bed more than a couple hours prior. Of course, Kie and Pope had gone back to the Carrera residence, claiming to want to sleep in a ‘real’ bed. Kie could never stand the uncomfortable springs sticking out of the pullout couch mattress, or the mattress in the spare bedroom.

JJ usually got the spare, but both he and Liz had ended up sprawled out on the pullout instead. She would have worried about John B suspecting something fishy going on, but she could hear his faint snores coming from the direction of his bedroom. Not that he would’ve ever raised an eyebrow at seeing them share a bed. Liz was just a textbook worrywart. Besides, the living room was empty save for the two of them after everyone else had gone to bed, when they’d stayed up talking and sharing a final blunt to take the edge off and kissing softly. No; they’d had the whole world to themselves, it had seemed, in the living room of the Chateau in the wee hours of the new spring day. Though she felt silly, Liz couldn’t help letting a small smirk ghost over her lips at the memory of only hours earlier.

After a moment more indecision, she found herself doing her best to rise from the bed without waking JJ. It took more than a few seconds to pluck his arm from where it was draped over her stomach. Drool leaked from the corner of his mouth where his face was smashed up against the pillow. Liz’s smile widened just a bit at the sight. Noticing the goosebumps which rose on her arms at the lack of JJ’s body heat, she grabbed the crumpled gray cardigan from under the pullout mattress. She’d noticed it under there the night before as JJ was sucking on her neck.

Grimacing at the light from the back windows, Liz went up to the kitchen sink and got herself a glass of tap water. There was simply no way she was getting back to sleep with the hangover throbbing behind her eyes. But she didn’t particularly mind with such a beautiful sunrise. She had seen it so many times over the course of her life, on daybreak fishing trips and in the aftermath of long nights, but it always felt like the first time. Through the windows above the sink, she could see the reflection of the warmly painted sky against the water in the marsh. It glistened in small, glowing pearls on the dewy blades of tall grass in John B’s backyard.

As she was setting the emptied glass down in the sink, she felt a pair of arms snake around her waist. She startled, but relaxed into JJ’s touch after a moment. He had barely made any noise at all while padding over to her in his socked feet.

“Fuck, JJ!” she exclaimed quietly, letting out an anxious, breathy chuckle. “Announce yourself, sunshine.”

Not quite yet awake, JJ leaned against her. His head was on her shoulder, eyes closed as he spoke in drowsy slurs.

“Jesus, what time is it?” he asked.

“My name’s Liz, not Jesus. But, hey, we’ve only known each other since we were seven, after all,” she quipped, teasing.

He fought the urge to roll his eyes, eager to lay back down. The flashes across his memory of all the alcohol he’d downed the night before made him a little nauseous. “Gimme a break, Lizzie.”

She snickered, but relented, looking over at the clock on the microwave. “Half past five.”

He groaned in response, shaking his head a bit. “I have to leave for work in like twenty minutes.”

“Shit. Why?”

“Early bird breakfast,” he grumbled.

“That sucks ass,” Liz said. “There’s some aspirin left in the medicine cabinet, I think. If you want to take some before you leave.”

He hummed in acknowledgement. The tank top Liz wore slipped down over her right arm just a bit. JJ pressed a kiss to the exposed skin of her shoulder, on which her small, black and white tattoo of a betta fish peeked out from the neckline of the cardigan. She’d gotten it the day after turning sixteen, with a forged signature on the parental release form. It was the only tattoo she had. Since JJ had begun kissing her, it had become one of his favorite spots. Hers, too. The feather-light pressure of his lips reminded her of the night before, when she’d touched him just as gingerly.

.   .   .

Rarely did Liz arrive at a party before JJ. He was usually the first to run down the beach, leading the way as he helped carry the keg. As he shouted in excitement, she could normally only manage a nervous half-grimace. But JJ was still nowhere to be found fifteen minutes after they’d finished setting up shop. Even the bonfire was lit. The past few days had been dry, and Liz hadn’t encountered too much trouble getting the logs to ignite. She was a former girl scout, and had slowly become the honorary firestarter of the group. She stood next to her creation, a red solo cup in her hand. John B had gone all out, supplying not just a keg but also the materials for mixed drinks. Liz was nursing a vodka-cranberry, taking slow, small sips. She was being careful to pace herself after the sloppy table dance she’d performed a few weeks back.

The late afternoon had just begun bleeding into evening, and the sky had darkened to a strange mixture of pinks and blues. A chilly breeze blew past her as the sun disappeared behind the horizon, and she took a couple more steps towards the heat of the bonfire. Still, she kept a careful distance from the main crowd. Kie had gotten into a conversation with Pope about use of fracking on the mainland as they sat next to each other in the circle around the fire. Liz could see how completely engrossed Pope was in Kie’s words, and if JJ had been there, she would have faked a gag at how cute they were. John B and Sarah, too, were lost in their own world, sharing flirty touches and lingering looks as they manned the keg. Though it had been months since the two had started dating, Liz still wasn’t sure how she felt about Sarah. The ice had melted between the Kook princess and the rest of the Pogues, but Liz just couldn’t bring herself to feel comfortable. Not around a girl who wore necklaces made of solid gold and got her highlights professionally done. The most Liz could afford was a seven-dollar box of dye, but years of practice had served her well. She’d started dying her auburn hair a fiery shade of copper during freshman year, just after her father died, and never looked back.

While she’d been getting ready for the party, she’d decided to channel Halloween, even though it was May. John B and Pope had watched curiously as she donned her black lipstick and smudged eyeliner. Sarah had extended the offer for Liz to come and get ready with her and Kie. But Liz brushed it off. Most of her makeup was at John B’s house, anyway, considering how often she stayed there. Why bring it all the way to the Figure Eight? Liz couldn’t imagine stepping into Sarah Cameron’s room, seeing the closet filled to the brim with designer dresses; velvet and silk and tulle. Especially not when the best Liz could do for a party outfit was an ancient Jimi Hendrix t-shirt and a semi-clean polka dot skirt.

Before she could spiral deeper into the bitter storm in her mind, Liz was pulled from her reverie when someone bumped hard into her shoulder. Liz barely registered what had happened until she felt the lukewarm drink spill down the front of her shirt. The gray fabric on which Jimi Hendrix’s face was printed was splashed right down the front with a deep, pinkish-red stain. Furrowing her brows, Liz looked up to see the Kook girl who had walked into her retreating, barely casting Liz a glance. The girl, who Liz recognized eventually as being called Ally, was struggling to walk on her high heels in the sand, while also typing away on her brand new phone, adorned with a sequined case. Maybe it wasn’t such a big deal. Maybe it didn’t matter that Ally hadn’t said a word, hadn’t looked Liz’s way, hadn’t apologized. But Liz looked around and found almost no one had seen what happened. John B and Sarah were all the way across the beach, and Liz could see Pope and Kie in a lively debate. JJ had still yet to arrive, it seemed. The t-shirt had been Liz’s father’s, vintage from his youth. And Liz knew it was unlikely such a stain would come out. She saw a flash of red and gripped the plastic cup so hard in her hand that it crumpled.

“Hey!” she exclaimed, as her stomach swirled with nerves and her hands began to shake. She knew she should have just let it go, as she always did. The idea of starting something with a Kook had her heart in her throat. But it was her father’s shirt. Sometimes, she thought she could still smell him when she wore it.

Ally didn’t turn around until Liz called out to her a couple more times. She spun around slowly on her heel, just barely looking up from her phone. Confusion painted her face as she realized who was addressing her. “Yeah?”

“Do you see what you just did to my shirt?” Liz asked, gesturing down at herself, voice raised over the blaring music and the chatter of fellow partygoers. A few people at the edges of the bonfire circle, where Ally had been headed, began to look up at the commotion.

Ally stared blankly at Liz’s shirt for a moment and then shrugged in disinterest. “Oh, yeah. Sorry.”

Scoffing, Liz let an angry, sardonic smirk cross her face. “Damn, someone should give you an Oscar for that acting.”

“What’s your problem?” Ally asked, finally giving Liz her full attention as her face twisted in disgust.

“My problem is my shirt is ruined,” Liz continued, not knowing exactly what she wanted to get out of the exchange. She only knew that she was pissed, and she hadn’t felt quite so pissed in a long time. It confused her, but the few sips of vodka she’d downed were apparently making her more courageous already.

Ally looked at Liz’s shirt for another moment. “I don’t know. I’d say I did you a favor.”

Liz narrowed her eyes at Ally, who appeared to think the exchange was over and began turning away again. But before she could disappear into the small crowd of onlookers which had formed, Liz grabbed the drink from Ally’s left hand and tossed the mixture onto the girl’s white crop top and mini skirt set. The color was even more vivid against such a light fabric, and it looked like a scene out of a horror movie. A chorus of cliché gasps erupted from the voyeurs standing around, and Pope and Kie had finally gotten wind of the situation. They had yet to intervene, standing with hesitation. It wasn’t like Liz to start fights. Usually, she was the one who ended them. Pope always called her the dependent variable, but she was certainly deviating from the norm tonight.

“Pogue bitch!” Ally shrieked, looking down at her ruined outfit.

Liz only smirked, feigning innocence and shrugging in a mock imitation. She couldn’t help but feel instant satisfaction. “You could always buy new, right?”

Ally’s face grew red with anger at the sound of Liz’s aloof tone. “This was two hundred dollars in New York, you cunt!”

“Tragic,” Liz replied coolly. “You poor baby.”

Ally took a couple threatening steps forward and Liz let out a bark of laughter. She threw the cups in her hands to the side (which she would be picking up as soon as she could, knowing how upset Kie would be if she didn’t). She advanced to Ally and met her eyes. Without the heels, Ally would have been significantly shorter than Liz. With them, she was almost as tall. But it didn’t matter. Liz stared her down like she was a bug about to be squashed.

“You gonna fight me, princess?” Liz asked huskily, feeling the lively fire in her stomach rising in her throat. Her smirk was ever-present, joyless. “Do it. Fight the Pogue cunt. See how that works out for you.”

“You’re fucking crazy,” Ally said. She wasn’t quite scared, only surprised. Her brow was crinkled analytically. All this over a t-shirt.

“Oh, am I?” Liz asked, eyes wide in askance and mocking.

“Yeah. Just like your daddy,” Ally replied viciously, letting a smugness come over her face. She had recognized Liz only a few moments prior. On such a small island, word of tragedy got around. Most everyone knew about the girl whose father was found dangling from a beam in the attic. The audience made a sound of shock and awe.

Feeling her stomach do another flip, Liz clenched her hands into tight fists at her sides. Her nails began to cut into her palms. Just as she was launching herself forward, ready to hit someone for the first time in many years, she felt herself being pulled clumsily away by the shoulders and the waist. She struggled in the hold for only a moment, before she saw Ally retreating back to her friends and heard Kie yelling in her ear to calm the hell down. Sarah and John B were running over, the entire beach now aware something was going on.

“Let me go, Pope! I’m fine!” Liz yelled, tearing his arms from her sides and feeling freer at the release. Even though it was Pope, she still couldn’t help the panic which bubbled up within her from being restrained.

“What the hell was that?” John B asked as he came over, Sarah trailing behind.

“Why do you care? Why don’t you go fuck your girlfriend?” Liz snapped coldly.

A pit of regret immediately sank in her stomach. Her entire body was flushed and adrenaline pulsed through her. Even if John B was pretty much her brother, she couldn’t help but let all her negative feelings about everyone mix into an indecipherable rage. Not her father’s shirt. Not some lousy Kook calling her father crazy. She simply couldn’t handle it. Sure, she knew people whispered comments to each other when she walked down the street. She knew the Kooks talked shit about her behind her back. But to her face was something else entirely.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” John B said, taken aback by the outburst.

“Just forget it, alright?” Liz sighed, breathing harshly. “I’m sorry...I’m just...my fucking shirt!”

Kie tilted her head at Liz in confusion, bringing a gentle hand to her shoulder. “Why-“

Liz shrugged her off. “I said forget it! Can someone please just get me a new drink?!”

Recoiling, Kie stepped away and plucked the cups from where Liz had tossed them in the sand. Liz wanted so badly to make a full apology. She really did. And she would, once they got back to the Chateau. But she felt almost incapable at the moment, stewing with such uncharacteristic rage.

Silence and doubtful looks were exchanged, but eventually Sarah volunteered to go get Liz the drink and John B followed, tossing concerned glances over his shoulder at Liz as they went. She thanked them quietly, embarrassed, but then yelled after them, requesting they keep the cranberry juice to a minimum. Not much more than a chaser.

“Are you sure-” Pope began, but he stopped immediately when Liz locked eyes with him. She meant business. No more fun and games.

“Not tonight, okay, Pope?” she asked, a pleading, tired crack in her voice. It made Pope want to say more, but Liz cut him off again with another exclamation as she began walking away. “Where the fuck is JJ?!”

.   .   .

Down the beach from the party, Liz could barely see the orange glow of the fire past the crowd. She was still nursing her vodka-cranberry, a bit buzzed but not nearly enough to forget what had happened. Her eyes were burning with tears, but whenever she felt herself truly welling up, she would stop it. She’d sniff and look up at the sky until her eyes were dry. It was clear, and she could see the swirl of the stars so vividly against the pitch-black sky. Humming a Nirvana song under her breath, she sat with her arms on her knees, one hand clasped around the opposite wrist. The drink on her shirt had long since dried, but she was still chilly in the ocean wind. She’d thought about going back to the Chateau, but decided she didn’t have the energy to make the walk alone. Instead, she’d gone a good distance down the shore, and sat a few inches up from where the tide was coming in. The moon shone silver on the waves, and the sight of it almost made her feel better. But it didn’t.

She was only sad and tipsy. In her solitude, her mind wandered to her mother and father. To her siblings. She wondered what her mother was doing, probably already asleep. A bottle of Jack somewhere near the bed. It made Liz feel guilty for getting buzzed, but she only downed more of the drink in an effort to get the feeling to disappear. Her sisters, too, she wondered about. They didn’t call much, and she didn’t blame them. The oldest two were off at college on the mainland, living separate lives with their scholarships. The other, Nicole, checked in even less reilably. Last Liz heard, she was somewhere in New Mexico finding herself. And Liz was where she had always been, spending her nights at home cleaning up after her mother, sitting through tearful diatribes about what a saint her father had been. Biting her tongue through her mother’s lies. She was glad the Chateau had become the place to rest her head since her father’s death. Had she been forced to stay at home every night, she imagined she would have run off long ago.

JJ strode up to her with his hands in his pockets, hat backwards on his head as usual. He sat down next to her without a word, carrying his own cup. Liz didn’t startle at his presence. Instead, she only breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn’t sure exactly what time it was, but he was more than late.

“Contemplating the mysteries of the universe?” he asked, a small smile on his face.

She chuckled humorlessly, clearing her throat and sniffing. “Not quite. Just thinking about Kurt Cobain.”

“Well, no wonder you’re down here all angsty and alone, hot stuff,” he teased, but when he spoke again his voice was more solemn. “JB said you got in a fight with a Kook.”

“He’s a drama queen. I didn’t fight her,” Liz said, staring out at the ocean still. The breeze was cold but welcome, clarifying, and she took in a deep breath through her nose. “Ally spilled her drink on me. And then she said some shit about my dad...it was nothing.”

“Sure doesn’t look like nothing,” JJ said, eyeing the stain across Jimi Hendrix’s face in the dimness.

She snorted a laugh, looking down at herself. “Maybe not. But I was going for a Patrick Bateman thing tonight, anyway.”

JJ sighed, licking at his lips. He debated arguing, maybe even getting fired up enough to go find some random Kook in retaliation. But he didn’t. He knew how she hated when he fought. Instead, he only took off his hat, pulled his sweatshirt over his head and went to hand it to her.

“You’re cold,” he said insistently, watching her shiver in the nighttime wind. She still hadn’t looked over at him, only staring out blankly at the waves. “And your shirt looks like you just went all Mrs. Crain on someone.”

After a long moment, she nodded, taking a final sip of her drink and then placing the cup down on the sand beside her. She still didn’t look over at him as she put it on. It warmed her up instantly.  The smell of JJ, Old Spice and weed and smoke, mixed with the ocean breeze. The wind blew past her again, the tips of her red hair just brushing her shoulders. She would have to cut it again soon. Since she was little, she could never handle her hair getting longer than her collarbones. It was just too much effort.

With JJ’s sweatshirt on, she wasn’t nearly as freezing.  “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, red,” he replied easily, taking another sip of his drink.

“Where’ve you been?” she asked quietly, trying her best not to sound needy. “We got here, like, three hours ago.”

“Oh, you know. Just robbing a bank or two,” he quipped.

She rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless. Her face fell, though, when she finally ventured a full glance at him. In the moonlight and the distant glow of the bonfire, she could see the cut on his cheek which was still oozing blood.

“Holy shit!” she exclaimed, placing gingerly fingers on his jaw so he would face her. But his eyes didn’t quite meet hers.

“I’m fine, Lizzie,” he muttered, swatting her hand away.

“Who did that to you?” she asked softly, tilting her head at him.

JJ shrugged. “Just ran into Rafe on the way over. I would’ve called, but I figured I should clean up a little so you wouldn’t freak out when you saw me. I guess that was a waste.”

She shook her head a little. “That motherfucker.”

“Seriously, it’s fine. You should see the other guy,” JJ continued, smirking though it didn’t reach his eyes.

Liz breathed out a sigh and thought about asking more, but didn’t. Instead, she leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on the apple of his cheek, the skin around the cut already bruising a deep purple. Her black lipstick had long since been wiped off, after her scuffle with Ally. Before JJ had arrived, she’d used the inside of her shirt to rub furiously at her face. Her lips were sore and pinkish, but soft against JJ’s skin.

Fighting to keep the shine of tears from his blue eyes, JJ let a small giggle slip. If his father’s fist had been a scream, her kiss was a whisper. It was so gentle he could barely contain himself, his heart skipping a beat. “Feels better already.”

“Does it?” she asked, pulling away with a tiny smile.

He hummed in confirmation. Tossing a glance over his shoulder at the party, he shifted closer to her. The kiss that followed was heated and hungry, both tasting vodka on each other’s tongues. Liz wasn’t surprised JJ was a bit buzzed as well. If she knew John B, he had shoved a drink in JJ’s hand as soon as he saw his eye. JJ was hard to read at times, but alcohol or weed were always surefire ways to cheer him up. And John B always made himself the captain of the party and the guests’ happiness.

Liz was out of breath, but she still smiled against JJ’s  lips. As fishy as his late arrival was, she was just happy to see him. Simple as that. In the weeks since they’d gone from friends to something more, she’d found herself thinking of him always. What he was doing, how he was feeling, whether he was thinking of her too. Usually, he was.

Away from the party, she could kiss him like she meant to, nowhere near the lingering eyes of her friends. No one else in the world knew but the two of them, not even the other Pogues. While the inter-group macking rule had long since been broken, there were other reasons to keep the secret. Sure, everyone had always said they belonged together. But neither of them were ready to let it be known to the world. Truthfully, Liz feared the pit of dread in her stomach, worrying over what would happen to their friendship if whatever they were doing fizzled out, would only grow heavier if everyone knew. JJ’s hand slipped beneath the soft sweatshirt and the stained t-shirt as they kissed, though. And, for the moment, Liz forgot all of her worries.

.   .   .

Despite everything, Liz found herself laughing wildly in the back of Twinkie, the rear doors opened. As she sat on the edge of the car’s floor, the carpeting plush against the backs of her thighs, she watched JJ dancing beneath the streetlight. They’d decided to head back to the Chateau, not particularly in the mood to deal with the Kooks who had ventured over to the other side of the island for the rest of the night. John B had thrown JJ the keys while they were still on the beach, instructing his friend to head to the car while he gathered Sarah, Kie, and Pope up. Liz looked more freezing by the minute, and while Twinkie’s heating wasn’t optimal, it was better than braving the ocean wind. John B was partial to being the designated driver, especially on the night of such a big bash. And, of course, especially when they already had supplies for an after party set out on his kitchen table.

Instead of huddling down in the trunk with Liz though, JJ took advantage of the pleasant, alcohol-induced flush warming his skin. He danced along to the Elvis tune playing from the radio in his cutoff Levis. The keys were in the ignition while the car sat in park, the heat blasting and the engine whirring quietly. Liz had heard the song many times on her father’s records. JJ gyrated his hips, ran his hands through his hair in an attempt to create a sloppy pompadour. He wasn’t very drunk, still coordinated enough to make a real show of it.

“Just take a walk down lonely street, to the heartbreak hotel,” JJ sang along, curling his lip in a decent imitation.

Liz snorted and rolled her eyes at his theatrics, but giggled along. Ever since they were little, JJ was always performing, mostly for her. A strange sense of nostalgia washed over her as he watched him, under the makeshift spotlight in the inky blue midnight. Down below, the party raged on, but neither Liz nor JJ took notice any longer. For the moment, it was just the two of them. Eventually, the song faded away and JJ finished his impression. Liz clapped a few times, slow and almost mocking. Pouting at the lackluster response, JJ sat down heavily next to her and put his head on her shoulder. The laughter would suffice to please him; he’d only done the dance to cheer her up, after all, guilty he hadn’t been at the party earlier, when she’d needed him. But he whined playfully, nonetheless.

“Tough fucking crowd.”

“I’m just kidding, sunshine. You were just like the king, alright?” she said, starting to sober up but still focusing on the tingling of her skin at the drinks and his touch. Slinging an arm around his shoulders, she brought him closer and kissed the crown of his head affectionately.

.   .   .

Rolling to a stop, Liz leaned her bike against the oak tree and ran her hands through her hair. It was greasy, and she decided she needed to shower before her lunchtime shift at the Wreck. It was a double, but she’d be back at John B’s by nine, with plans for a chill movie night. Kie and Pope probably wouldn’t make it, more eager for alone time in recent months. But there would still be the four of them. After they all went to bed, Liz could pad over from the pullout couch in the living room to JJ’s bed, as she’d made a habit of doing in the past few weeks. Though she was always annoyed with such a long shift, especially when the damn Tourons were starting their vacation season, it was good to know there was something to look forward to at the end of the day.

The sun was high in the sky, having risen fully, as she ascended the creaky porch steps into her house. The wind chimes near the door jingled quietly in the slight breeze. Doing her best to shut the rusty screen door silently behind her, Liz jumped when she saw her mother already up and having her coffee at the kitchen table. Usually, she was still out cold.

“Hey, mom,” Liz said, forcing a weak smile on her lips. She slipped her backpack from her shoulders and set it down next to the door. Then, she tugged her shoes off and went towards the kitchen.

“Oh, hi,” her mother muttered, yawning, looking up from her paper and over the reading glasses on her nose at her daughter.

Ruth Walker was lately a quiet woman, but still remained every bit as incisive as she had been before her husband died. She watched as Liz poured herself a mug of black coffee, dressed in her cardigan and one of JJ’s t-shirts. Only her skirt was the same from the night before. Liz had been careful to make sure she left her ruined t-shirt at John B’s. The sight of it might have been enough to make her mother burst into tears. Liz’s hair was back in a low ponytail, and Ruth immediately noticed the dark mark peeking out from the neckline of the t-shirt.

“Guess it was a fun party,” Ruth said, eyebrows raised but voice mostly disinterested.

Liz furrowed her brows at her mother’s tone, taking a sip of the coffee and turning to face her. “Hm?”

“That love bite on your neck,” Ruth explained, staring at the hickey.

Immediately, Liz flushed scarlet. She was glad she had left just after JJ, as the rest of the Pogues were still snoring. Certainly, someone would have noticed. They were usually careful, but as high as she and JJ were, she wasn’t entirely surprised they had gotten a bit carried away. She didn’t have time to stutter out a response before her mother continued.

“Just make sure he’s clean. And please don’t get pregnant,” Ruth said, sighing slightly. “Girls your age know nothing about nothing. We can’t add another mouth to feed into the mix. I don’t need that right now.”

Clearing her throat awkwardly, Liz looked down into her coffee and nodded. “Yeah, yeah. I won’t. You know I won’t.”

Shrugging, Ruth went back to her paper. From her spot leaning against the sink, Liz couldn’t quite make out what her mother was reading, but she knew what it was anyway. Especially since her mother held a red pen in her left hand. She was circling real estate listings from the Figure Eight. Houses they could never even dream of living in. Swallowing harshly, Liz tried not to think too hard about what her mother was doing and instead straightened her back, about to head to the bathroom.

“So, mom, I’m gonna shower and then head to work. I’m probably gonna stay at John B’s again tonight. And maybe a few more nights after, since John has-”

“Fine,” Ruth said flippantly, not bothering to listen to her daughter’s rambled reasonings. “Make good choices.”

Ruth didn’t look up from her paper as she spoke. Liz waited a minute for more, then finally made her way towards the small hallway when her mother kept silent.

[glassprism]

Since you're also in other fandoms, are there any ships/pairings you like? Who's your favourite pairing in POTO? Who are your favourite characters (from POTO to all your other fandoms) and why? Ooh, here's a rather unusual one: who's your favourite side character (name one for all your fandoms!) and why?

Yeah, definitely! Though whether some can be counted as actual “ships” is debatable, as you’ll see in a bit.

For Phantom, my favorite “ship” is the love triangle - E/C/R. Not in a polyamorous, threesome way, but one where I love the dynamics of the characters, the way they affect one another, the ways Erik and Raoul are similar and different. So it’s not quite a “ship” in a traditional sense where I want characters to end up with each other, but more in the sense that I like to explore and analyze them.

As for other “ships” or pairings, I’m just going to list, like, every fandom or random-ass thing I’ve ever loved in semi-chronological order (time to go back to my middle school fandoms!). Under the cut for length.

Harry Potter: Sirius Black and Harry Potter. I adored the godfather-godson bond between the two (absolutely no romance; I clicked on an mpreg fic of the two when I was but a wee lass of twelve and it scarred me): how Harry was the last living reminder of Sirius’s best friend, whose death he still feels responsible for; how Sirius is the parental figure Harry wanted, how they were never able to be happy god damn it Rowling. (You can imagine how much my eleven year old self cried when I read the fifth book. Oh boy, the tears.)

Star Wars: Vader and Luke. Again, totally familial, father-son relationship only. (Speaking of scarring experiences, I once stumbled on a romance fic between the two, where yes, both of them were still father and son, and I have that summary etched into my brain permanently.) The way Vader obsessively hunts down Luke, the first emotional connection he has had with a person in literal decades! The way Luke has just ached all his life for a father figure, to the point where he will take a homicidal Sith lord if that’s who he is! How he never gives up on trying to redeem him! How Luke is right. Loud screeching.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Will Turner and Bootstrap Bill and Will Turner and Henry Turner. More sad father-son dynamics (you may be noticing a pattern here). Repeat what I said with the Star Wars relationships, only with more pirates and less homicide. (And way more parental abandonment guilt.)

Halloween: Michael Myers and Laurie Strode,  remake universe. Yet again, no romance, just a severely messed-up brother-sister relationship. I can’t begin to tell you why I like the horrific relationship between a serial killer and the little sister he was so obsessed with he ruined her life, completely traumatized her, and ended up leading to her death, but I do. Maybe it’s the dark obsession aspect of it, that in the midst of all his murders, there’s still one person Michael Myers longs to have a connection with, the baby sister who represented total innocence in his mind. Maybe it’s the “what could have been” aspect too, as Laurie never recognizes him or realizes their connection until it’s far too late. Maybe I need to re-examine my life choices. I’ll figure it out someday.

Bat Boy The Musical: Bat Boy/Shelley. Yes, this is a romance; yes, they are half-brother and half-sister, yes, you can get on me about this, but in my defense how about you watch the musical and NOT come out of it shipping these two against all your better instincts.

POTO: E/C/R, as stated above and for all those reasons. Oh, and you know what - The Phantom and Gustave from Love Never Dies. Can’t get away from those father-son ships. I actually care about that relationship than E/C or R/C in LND (maybe because both E/C and R/C suck in the sequel so what else am I going to latch onto).

Batman: Listed here, but my heart really lies with three ships. Jaytim is the first: it’s the whole “angry woobie destroyer of worlds who hates everyone meets seemingly well-adjusted and cheerful individual who is secretly hiding their own issues” dynamic. Bane/Talia from The Dark Knight Rises is the second. Doesn’t matter if it’s familial, friendship, protector and protectee, or romantic, I eat it up, and to be fair, it’s never explicitly stated what the relationship is in the movie. All we know is that the two grew up together in a hellhole prison, probably dependent on and solely trusting only one another, and that bond continues even after they leave, and not even death will make them leave one another. Finally, we have Jason Todd/therapy from the Arkham games. Because the poor guy needs it.

MCU: STEVE/BUCKY (aka Stucky). This ship (again, could be friendship or romantic) dominated my thoughts for four years. Steve’s fish-out-of-water status! Bucky’s horrific imprisonment under Hydra. The way the two find each other after and the angst. The fact that Steve refuses to kill Bucky and, even after seventy years, succeeds in breakthing through to him because their connection runs that deep. The fact that Marvel just ruined this relationship so now I have to rely on fanfic. Oh yes, and I also slowly fell into the Kastle ship (Frank Castle aka The Punisher and Karen Page). Another “hardened killer with sad backstory who connects to idealistic young woman with hidden darkness” dynamic.

Terminator: T-800 aka “Uncle Bob” and John Connor. Returning to sad father-son dynamics, I have this from Terminator 2. A robot learning emotions! A boy learning to take his place as a leader and all-loving hero. The bond they form, partially because the T-800 will do nothing else but protect John and partially because John has no father-figure of his own, so his robot bodyguard will do. THE ENDING.

ASOIAF/GOT: I actually have very few ships from here other than Arya/Gendry (and only when they’re older) and, weirdly, Theon/Sansa from the show. The Gendrya ship is just cute, it may well be the most wholesome ship on here, while Theonsa has shades of Stucky in it, I suppose, given that Theon has been tortured so badly he can barely remember his own name, until Sansa turns up and reminds him enough that he breaks out of it to help her.

Favorite characters from each of those:

Harry Potter: My favorite characters from here are probably more side characters, so I’ll just say Hermione Granger. Her focus on academics, fear of failure, and conviction that the library holds all the answers, felt all too reminiscent of myself.

Star Wars: Darth Vader,  no contest whatsoever. Cool mask, cool cape, cool lightsaber, and the absolute worst life one can imagine.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Interestingly, Will Turner. Yeah, I guess Jack Sparrow is cool and Elizabeth is absolutely awesome to watch and has the greatest change in the series, but oh-so-serious Will, with his deep loyalties and slow slide into moral ambiguity because of those loyalties, fascinates me.

Halloween: Laurie Strode, all versions. My favorite final girl, my survivor of trauma (except in the remake, where, well, she doesn’t survive). Also, her daughter in the Thorn trilogy, Jamie Lloyd, the most tragic little girl to walk across a horror movie screen.

Bat Boy The Musical: Ah, wow, haven’t thought about this. I guess Bat Boy and Shelley, more by default than anything.

POTO: Christine Daae, no contest. Love her character, love her arc, love her songs, love her costumes.

Batman: Listed here.

MCU: Bucky Barnes (unless he counts as a side character), but I also love Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Karen Page, Elektra Natchios... and I’ll leave it at that.

Terminator: John Connor. (There’s a reason I haven’t watched Dark Fate yet... or ever.)

ASOIAF/GOT: Three of them! Daenerys Targaryen, who I love because she tries so hard to rule well, who is so observant and cognizant of the things going on around her. Then Sansa Stark, who makes such astounding growth, who retains her empathy and compassion throughout, who is capable of startling perception and insight which most others underestimate. And finally, Cersei Lannister. She’s terrible. I love her.

And favorite side characters from each of those:

Harry Potter: Sirius Black may well have been my first fictional crush. But Remus Lupin is the kind of person (and teacher) I aspire to be.

Batman: I swear, depending on the comic series or movie, everyone is a side character. I’ll just link to my old ask again.

Star Wars: Batman syndrome all over again; every character in Star Wars might be a side character elsewhere, and every side character gets to be the main character of their own comic, book, movie, etc. Erm... I really liked Rose from the sequel trilogy and Chirrut Imwe from Rogue One. I find Mara Jade from the Legends universe fun to read. WAIT I GOT IT - Queen Amidala’s handmaidens from Episode I (Sabe, Rabe, Eirtae, Yane, Sache). Highly trained in both politics, decorum, and weaponry, able to be utterly nondescript or the Queen’s decoy at the drop of a hat? I love.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Hmm... you know what, I thought Syrena the mermaid was pretty cute.

Halloween: Rachel Carruthers! Your typical girl-next-door but well done and with a touching relationship with her foster sister. I will die mad about her death in the fifth movie.

Bat Boy The Musical: Uh.... I’ll get back to you on this...

POTO: Carlotta is super fun.

MCU: Oh heck, Dottie Underwood. (My taste in female characters goes like this: a) intelligent and observant, 2) sweet and compassionate, 3) batsh*t insane. She’s the third.)

Terminator: Not sure how much of a side character she is, but Kate Connor. Wife and second-in-command to John Connor, able to heal wounds and kick butt depending on what the movie requires.

ASOIAF/GOT: I’ll probably think of someone else, but you know what? Queen Rhaenys Targaryen, younger sister and wife to Aegon the Conqueror, whom he wed out of desire. Playful, spirited, loved to fly, sponsored musicians, initiated reforms for the smallfolk, what’s not to love? (Apart from one possibility of her death... but we don’t talk about that.)

[sternerstufftoys]

A Grand Day Out

Yo listen up, here's a story. About a little guy that lives in a blue world. And all day and all night everything he sees is just blue. Like him, inside and outside

(dah-boo-dee dah-boo-die, etc.)

It's time to be honest with myself. I've gone off Star Wars. I'm no longer a fan. I still enjoy the movies, I even had a great time in Rise of Skywalker. But the spark has long since gone. Mostly it's the fans, you know? Those self-serving, entitlement-addled bigots who scream and throw their shit around for the films daring to put a girl in a lead role gasp clutch pearls monocle pop etc. And how dare they make part one of a trilogy without having mapped out all three films in advance! That'd take this beloved nirvana of the big screen down to the level of... of... every other film franchise other than Harry Potter. And Lord of the Rings. Oh noes.

And don't misunderstand me by putting that alongside a photo of a Black Series Grand Admiral Thrawn toy, breakout villain from the old Expanded Universe before the new films swept all that stuff under the rug. I'm not advocating for the superiority of the defunct continuity either, convoluted and inconsistent as it is. So why bother spending money on it? And a grubby little Stormtrooper with poop stains on his armour and a severe case of the rickets.

Call it a present to my younger self. Back in 1996 when the original films were spruced up and re-released I fell utterly head over heals in love with Star Wars, would drift off to sleep with the strains of John Williams in the background, would obsess over minutiae until the wee early hours. And yes, had a gleeful hipster place in my heart for EU characters like Thrawn and the like. The ones that your regular everyday fan hadn't even heard of. Thrawn was almost a secret, something that a select few could enjoy without having to endure pop culture backlash about it.

Of course, as toys go, Star Wars has a long pedigree, mostly notable for redefining the size action figures were supposed to be. After decades of 3 3/4 inch figures it feels a little reductive for Hasbro to switch to reverse gear and start pumping out collector-friendly 6-inch figures, even as an even higher tier of luxury Hot Toys versions exists for the collectors whose wallets have their own Panama postcode. I'd be suspicious if it wasn't just a case of doing Marvel Legends But Now Its Star Wars. Same materials, same articulation, same process. Same 3mm holes in their shoes to help plug them into stands if you have them.

I have to be honest, I'm not a fan of the plastic used on Thrawn, and by extension the majority of the Black Series and Marvel Legends line. It's a flexible material largely cast in solid blocks, so of course it's hefty and durable, but the surface always feels a bit too scratchable and not too resilient. Plus by being solidly cast, the flexibility is largely lost, and posing can get a bit awkward. Luckily Thrawn doesn't exactly need to do any dynamic Spider-Man poses, and can happily stand with his hands behind his back like he's sniffing around an art exhibition. Same can't be said for Bandy-Legs Bob the stormtrooper, whose left shin was all knackered right out of the pack. I only got him because he came with some neat little explosion effects, which look rather sharp with an LED inside.

So 14 year-old me is happy to have a figure of his secret favourite character, while 30-something year-old me can say that his Star Wars collection is complete. No more Black Series, no more Lego (it's all grey and boring bricks anyway), no more films, no more EU novels. Time to put away childish things...

...Unless they make or re-release the X-Wing series of games again, then they'll have me all over again like the cheap slag I am.

[glorioustidalwavedefendor]

Love, Death & Robots.

Can I just say, how happy it makes me, that the anthology series is back?

I mean, Love, Death & Robots isn‘t the first by a long shot … but still, I am glad that this art form is back. It lends itself so very beautifully to the telling of small stories.

I lnow I am late on the band wagon, but this is my hot take on Love, Death & Robots. Just fresh of bingeing it. No reflection just feeling … or in other words, the result of rubbing my last two sleep deprived braincells together.

It‘s just my opinion, nothing more.

On the technical side of things …

This show is fucking gorgeous. The style usually goes with the general tone of the story, all of them competently and craft fully realized. The same goes for the voice work, the sound design and the soundtrack.

On a side note, diversity is so so, could be better but could be worse … I‘d say average …

It‘s definitely NC-17. Blood, gore, violence, sex and lovingly rendered co**s. We have it all. If you are sensible … you might want to skip some of the stories …

Beware … here there be spoilers

"Sonnie's Edge"

A woman named Sonnie remotely controls a genetically-engineered monster in underground gladiatorial battles. A rich man offers her a lot of money to lose, but she refuses. After she wins the combat, he comes back to make her pay, only to discover he got things very wrong.

I really liked the concept of the story, though not so much the execution. I am just not a huge fan of the „live begins at rape“-trope and I thought that backstory element was rather clumsily handled. I also feel like we could have reached the same twist wit a different backstory …

It‘s a really great twist.

I mean, I am not to clever, maybe you‘ll see it coming a mile away … but I still think it‘s a good twist …

Carefull, gore and boobs …

"Three Robots"

After the destruction of humanity, three robots take a vacation tour around seemingly abandoned city, trying to understand how humans lived based on their limited knowledge of them and the things they left behind. The surprise comes when they met a cat.

It‘s exactly what it says on the tin. It is sweet, adorable, funny … surprisingly meta in it‘s message, without getting too heavy handed, it has kittens … I love it.

If you have problems with skulls, skip it, there a loads of it here …

"The Witness"

A woman witnesses a murder in a building in front of the hotel where she is staying. She flees from him through a surreal city.

What it say on the tin. The twist isn‘t really a surprise if you pay attention, but it‘s a case of blink and you miss it.

I like the concept a lot and the execution was alright …

Nudity … lots of it … also blood … so, if that is a no, for you … skip it. Otherwise, I really like the twist … I say that a lot …

"Suits"

A small community of farmers pilot mech suits to defend their land from an invading swarm of insectoid aliens.

Again, what it says on the tin … a little heavy handed with the characterization, but they have only minutes to establish them, so that‘s O.K. for me. The characters are all very sweet and caring … not so much a twist ending as a WTF moment.

The violence is relatively tame … maybe PG 13, if you can stomach alien blood and a major character death …

"Sucker of Souls"

Awakened by an archaeological excavation, a bloodthirsty demon fights a crew of mercenaries.

What‘s on the tin.

I really liked this one. I like the  archaeologist, I like the mercenaries, … The ending is a bit … not disappointing … but you feel a bit cheated.

I also feel like this could work very well as Terror AU, with Goodsir being the archaeologist and the mercenaries being Crozier, fem-Blanky and … maybe Fitzjames …

The actual gore … rather graphic, though the style isn‘t hyper realistic … if you‘re sensible, definitely skip this one …

"When The Yogurt Took Over"

Yogurt developed by scientists becomes sentient and takes over the world.

What can I ay? It‘s what‘s on the tin.

Rather tame, except for a few moments of very dark humor … the style is very cartoony, so … not for the faint of heart maybe, but it should be fine for most people.

"Beyond the Aquila Rift"

Blue Goose's crew—Thom, Suzy, and Ray—are on a mission to reach beyond the Aquila Rift, but an error in the routing plot causes unexpected events to happen.

Sort of, what it says on the tin … but not …

I really liked it, … not particularly gory per see except for a quick scene … but if you hate spiders, definitely stay away … also boobs …

This one would also make for a great Terror AU, with Crozier as the Captain and Sophia as his long lost acquaintance …

"Good Hunting"

In early 20th century China, a boy becomes friends with a shape-shifting huli jing after his father kills the huli jing's mother. Years later, living in a steampunk Hong-Kong, they find each other again.

I really like the idea behind this … the thought  that magic can not exists in a world full of iron and steam. I loved that concept back in Lords and Lady's and I still love it.

I just could have done without the sex trafficking …

I‘d prefer d if she‘d just gotten a new body on her own terms, … Because I really like the concept that she has to change herself completely in order to control this new magic …

Definitely not for the faint of heart … what‘s on the screen is upsetting enough … the implications even more so …

Also, lots of nudity …

"The Dump"

A city inspector tries to convince Ugly Dave to move out of his house which is located in a dump. However, Dave and his pet are not intent on doing so.

This one was wearing tapp shoes … but I still like it … its cute … and dark … sensible people … maybe skip it …

Nudity … death and gore … also a puppy …

"Shape-Shifters"

Two close friends in the Marines with supernatural powers have to fight one of their own in Afghanistan.

Whats on the tin. Short, sweet, heartbreaking … gore … major character death … Nudity

"Helping Hand"

An astronaut faces a life or death situation after an accident while spacewalking in orbit. Now she has to decide, arm or live …

This was a hard one for me to watch … not so much for the gore … there is none … but just seeing her being so brave and inventive and … so so fucked … it was a hell of a ride, for me it was worth it …

God damn she is awesome!

"Fish Night"

Two salesmen get stuck in the desert, and discover that the desert is not what it seems at night.

I love it!

I loved the concept wen Pratchett came up with it for wee free men … where he mentioned it in a throw away line … and I was angry at myself for days, that I never came up with it myself …

Spooky, pretty … bloody … there was a shark … Nudity

I was sad, but I‘ll definitely give it a rewatch …

This doesn't so much work as an entire Terror AU, but I feel like, the concept does lend itself easily to being used with Silna …

"Lucky 13"

A pilot recalls her missions aboard the dropship Lucky 13, which had already lost two crews before.

Boy did I cry at this one … bit gory … and onions, so many onions … who the fuck needs so many onions at this time of night?

But yeah, I have a thing for ships … sue me …

"Zima Blue"

A reclusive artist gives a final interview after 100 years.

I love this … the style is very stylized and lends itself beautiful to the story … ah … I think this is even something for the faint of heart … also, in my case onions …

"Blindspot"

A cyborg crew attempts to rob a convoy.

What‘s on the tin, pretty straight forward … nothing special … but I feel that is less the stories fault and more the fact that it is simply outclassed among all the others …

Violent, but cartoony … so … no idea … proceed with caution?

"Ice Age"

A couple who just moved into the apartment finds a civilization inside an antique refrigerator.

What‘s on the tin.

Really sweet, really cute … cute couple … I feel like, some of the lines could have used one more rewrite, but that is me nitpicking. I really liked it, it was awesome, definitely gonna rewatch it … I feel like this is even for the faint of heart …

It is also very refreshing to see a married couple just hanging out together … love it

"Alternate Histories"

Multiversity, an alternative history research simulation app, shows the viewer the death of Adolf Hitler in 6 different timelines on their welcome demo.

I feel like Douglas Adams came back from the dead to write this … I get defined Hitchhiker vibes.

Ah … dark, but super cartoony, so the violence is rather tame … still, not G rated, despite the style … Nudity

I liked it a lot …

"Secret War"

A platoon of Red Army soldiers hunt down the undead in the forests of Siberia.

What it say on the tin.

The style is super realistic, so nothing for the faint of heart. Blood, gore … more blood, more gore …

I liked it …

And, is it just me, or is the Lieutenant the spitting image of John Morfin?

This would make an amazing Terror AU, you pretty much only have to change the names … even the Lieutenants second gives me Collins vibes …

I hope I got all the Nudity, but there is a lot of it … not even always in a sexy way, just in a “humans sometimes are naked” way …

And that was  Love, Death & Robots.

Was it good?

Hell yes!

Do I want more?

Definitely …  though I don‘t have to high hopes for a potential second season … once burned twice shy … But I‘d be delighted if we get one as good or even better.

[a-darling-thing]

New Beginnings

Saw this post, and might have gotten a wee bit inspired...

John’s whole body goes tense at the sound.  He sets the mug of tea he’s holding back on the counter, and pops his head around the door to the lounge.  “What’s that?”

“Mm?”

“That.  That alert noise.”

Sherlock doesn’t even look up from his phone.  He just stares at the screen, an unreadable statue.

“Did you hear me?”

“Yes.”

“Well…?”

“It’s an alert tone, as you assumed.  I don’t know what you’re asking.”

“It’s not one you usually use.”

“I’m not allowed to change alert tones?”

John sniffs, and balls his fists hard in an attempt to quell the surge of tight, hot anger that seems to surge through every cell.  “It’s her.”

Sherlock tries to school his features into his most innocent of looks, but the sheepishness is woefully transparent.

“Yeah, you know what…”  And before he has time to think about what he’s doing, John has strode forward and plucked the phone from Sherlock’s hand.

Sherlock’s eyes go wide, and his mouth pops open in a look that seems more fear than irritation.

“For fucks sake, if you don’t text her back I will.  If she’s nothing, it’s nothing, then you won’t mind me and her having a little chat, yeah?”  Sherlock’s mouth parts even wider, as though he wants to say something, but there are no words forthcoming.  

John cocks a brow in anticipation, and then shakes his head when Sherlock continues to sit mute.  He looks down at the screen in his hand:

John loves you too, you know.  Just tell him already!

The world goes oddly still and silent.  He can hear the afternoon traffic racing by outside, the tick of the clock in the kitchen, Mrs. Hudson’s radio playing a floor below, but in this room, between them--utter stillness.  They have both forgotten how to breathe.

John finally sucks in a sharp breath as his head starts to go light.  He looks up.  Sherlock is pale, mouth opening and closing like he’s desperate to say something, anything, but…

“I’m sorry,” he finally manages, shoots up from his chair and disappears into his bedroom, closing the door behind him with a soft click.

John’s legs feel like jelly.  He slides down into Sherlock’s chair, comforted, somehow, by the warmth left behind by his body, and stares down at the screen in front of him.  He shouldn’t, he knows, but he scrolls up in the conversation for context.  

There are only a few lines exchanged every few months.  They usually start off light, bantering, but then quickly return to what seems to be the only topic they truly talk about—John.  More specifically, Sherlock’s unrequited feelings for John.

Something clenches tight in his chest.  He feels like he’s drowning.  His eyes bite and burn.  The texts go back months, well over a year, and that is when Sherlock had gotten a new phone, so it’s possible they’d chatted for longer than that.  Months and months of words, and always his name is there, in the middles of it all: john, John, JOHN.

John stands up, goes to the kitchen, stares down the hall to the closed door at the end.  His body says go, but what would he even say?  What would happen once he got there?  The whole situation is awkward, and awful, and it is no one’s fault but his.  

He needs...  He needs time, air.  He needs to think.

Returning to the lounge, he locks the phone and sets it on the desk, and then grabs his coat, and goes out.

It’s been hours since John left and then returned.  He’s cooking now.  Sherlock can smell rotisserie chicken and mushroom risotto.  He can hear John tossing a salad.  No doubt he’s trying to lure Sherlock out of hiding, to soften the blow when he explains gently and with a look of pity in his eyes, that he isn’t that way, that they can never be anything other than friends, and that, all things considered, perhaps it’s best if he move out, find a place of his own.

Perhaps John will deign to continue on with the cases.  That would be something.  Not enough, but better than nothing.

John is setting the table, he’s putting the finishing touches on the food.  There’s nothing for it.  Sherlock can’t live in his bedroom forever, better to face it, get it over with.  

Into battle, then.

The flat is oddly dim when he emerges, and for a moment he wonders if it is the middle of the night and he was only dreaming when he heard John come back, if the delicious scents wafting from the kitchen are all some sort of hallucination and he’s finally tipped over the edge.  

But no.  There is a soft, warm flicker coming from the kitchen, and the sudden pop of John uncorking a bottle of wine.

Sherlock’s heart stutters in his chest, even as his brain rails against the evidence set before him: candle light, a proper dinner, a bottle of wine.  Perhaps John has gone out to the pub and brought a woman home?  But, John had said three months ago—no more girlfriends.  He’d said he was getting too old, and didn’t have the energy for dates, and pick ups, and the game of it all.  Still, today had no doubt been very trying…  

Sherlock sniffs the air delicately without detecting even the slightest whiff of perfume.  There is only the scent of John, the dinner he’s prepared, and the fruity tang of the white wine he is currently pouring into two glasses.

Sherlock makes his way to the end of the hall, and stops dead at the entrance to the kitchen.  The only light in the room is that on the vent hood above the cooker, and two candles in the middle of the neatly set kitchen table.  It’s homely, warm, and inviting.

John looks up and sees him standing there.  He smiles.  “Was just going to come and get you.  Got all your favourites.”

“Why?”  Sherlock replies stupidly.  

John’s smile falters for a moment, but then returns when his eyes drop down, and catch sight of Sherlock nervously worrying the cuffs of his dressing gown between his fingers.  “Why not?”

Sherlock feels a surge of panic.  He’s lost.  He knows what it all looks like, but to presume now, would be potentially…  “John, I…”

“Got some candles,” John jerks his chin toward the modest, flickering display.  “You know—it’s more romantic.”  He winks.

Sherlock’s brain goes white, but he’s nodding, somehow, and he’s moving forward, into the room, taking in the food spread out on the table in a vast assortment of proper serving dishes that John has managed to scrounge up from god knows where.  “It’s very…”

“She was right,” John interrupts.  “She was right, you know.  You should have told me.  You could have told me.”

Sherlock feels his eyes fill, and doesn’t know why, but John is looking at him in a way that is unmistakable, and so he nods, tries—for John.  “Yes, I.  I suppose I should have, but I—I couldn’t be sure, and when it comes to this, to us, I would rather err on the side of caution.”

John nods.  “Yeah?  Okay.  I get that.  I—I’m sorry I wasn’t braver.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s a lot of wasted time.”

Sherlock swallows back the lump in his throat.  “Yes well—let’s not waste another minute then.  I believe the food is getting cold.”

The smile that spreads across John’s face, is wide and bright, and his eyes look suspiciously full.  “Too right.  I’m starving.”

And when Sherlock smiles back, he feels the weight of so many dark, and lonely years drop from his shoulders, he feels something inside him open wide and flood with relief and joy in equal measure.  “Yes.  Me too.”

[bugheadfamily]

Bughead Family Discord Member Spotlight

This week the spotlight is on Cat ( @shibbycat ), our newest admin! Click the read more link below to get to know our member!

Spotlight by Mila, @jughead-jones | Graphic by Katie, @betty-cooper

Cat | @shibbycat

Name: Cat 

Age: I’m old enough to own a Sega Genesis bought in a store the year it was released, and yes. I still play it. 

Location: Northern Italy for the time being, but I’m prone to moving quite bit. 

Any other languages aside from English people can contact you in?: I can do some conversational Spanish, and I can have Eric (my husband) tell me what you’re saying in Russian.

Favourite Riverdale characters and ships?: What gave you the impression that I like Riverdale or its ships? JK. Shockingly, I’m all about that Bughead. ALL about it. I care about most of the characters & their successes/failures… with Betty, Jughead, Veronica & Cheryl in the lead. 

Favourite moments from S1 & S2?: Wow. Talk about a Sophie’s Choice. Here goes nothing. I legit yelled at my screen during The Look in 1x02, “omG. IT’S HAPPENING.” My childhood ship was exhumed. Best day. The dynamic between Jughead & FP in 1x07 rang particularly true to me. I also took away that Jughead talks about Jellybean like she’s his kid, not his sister. It guts me every single time. The end bit where Betty & Jughead walk away together really demonstrated how close they already were as a couple. Bonus for that being the scene where it clicks with Archie his two best friends were 5000% together, & their friendships was never going to be the same. It’s a small moment but I love it. Picking one thing from Season 2??? Co-Presidents. The absolute equality in their relationship was so perfectly on point here for me. The support and respect for one another was on display in blinking neon lights. WAIT. The hospital scene. I can’t leave it off. Jughead “I’ll never stop loving you” Jones almost gets murdered & only feels bad about not being there for Betty. All that matters to Betty is Jughead getting better. Plus, down-the-face kisses. I can’t with these two. 

What are your hopes for S3?: I’m really hoping to see more of a focus on the friendships. I want to see them all work together in general & specifically, to defeat Hiram. We got to see an entire season of Hiram doing nothing but succeeding in his various nefarious causes & successfully pitting Bughead/Varchie against one another. Seeing his takedown at the hands of those whose lives & relationships he thought destroyed as they’re instead working together? Yes. Very yes. I’m of course beyond stoked for the Bughead Detective Agency & them working/growing together in their relationship & lives. Some actual fun times would be great to see. Yano, ones that don’t end in someone getting murdered or going to jail.

Other fandoms you’re into?: Besides Riverdale, I only exist in lurker status (thanks anxiety!) for fandoms, but I lurk(ed) super hard in Harry Potter (Except that I’ve totally written terrible HP fic. Really happy no one’s going to read this to know that), Reylo, Doctor Who, & Sherlock.

What are some of your favourite movies/TV?: Besides the obvious, just about everything Disney touches owns my pocketbook, dedication & continued attention. Parks & Rec, The Office (both UK & US), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Gilmore Girls, Doctor Who, Star Trek: TNG, & Sherlock are all shows I can watch on repeat. I’m not even going to start on non-Disney movies, because I’ll be here all day.

Favourite books?: This is literally the most difficult question to answer, because books are life. I’m going to keep it brief & say “Harry Potter.” They changed my life, they saved my life, & they’re always there to welcome me home.

Favourite bands/musicians?: Favorites are so hard. I like a little something from most genres of music, but I can never turn off classic Elton John, BSB (I had full plans to marry Kevin as an 11 year old), Linkin Park, John Williams, Lady GaGa, Guns n Roses, The Killers, or Queen. Big picture wise, I’m particularly attached to Classic Rock, practically anything 80s, late 90s/early 2000s pop (I still know all the choreo to Bye Bye Bye & Oops... I Did It Again), The Great American Songbook, classical music, popular songs converted classical arrangements, and I’m a sucker for 1960s/70s R&B/soul. Long story short, I make a lot of playlists. 

If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?: Harry Potter for sure. Wands which choose you. Broomsticks which get released like new car models. Owls which deliver mail anywhere. Portkeys/Apparating/Brooms/Floo powder making travel dirt cheap/free. Butterbeer & Pumpkin Juice. If it’s not clear, I’m really into Harry Potter. OH. I also did a HP LARP a few years ago in a Polish castle, & it was the greatest thing EVER. 

Favourite food?: Oh food. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Seriously. I travel around just to eat. Limiting to one kind? Mexican food. I could eat it everyday. 

Favourite season?: Fall/winter. First of all, I like to wear a GRIP of layers. I’m also a big fan of being lazy & putting a beanie on over my unstyled (often unbrushed) hair. I’m also VERY into Halloween & Christmas. I decorate for both with gusto. Christmas goes up in my house the same day it does at Disneyland: 10 November. I’m also obsessed with Christmas Markets. So many quality Halloween/Christmas films too! I have an entire list of mandatory watches every year. 

Favourite plant?: Really large sunflowers with the dark red/deep orange petals. Their seeds also demonstrate the Fibonacci sequence, and I’m a human who believes math is the most beautiful thing in the entire world. 

Favourite scent?: There’s something magical smelling about old books for me. I also really enjoy the way rain smells on dry pavement when it first starts falling.

Favourite colour?: It’s been purple ever since I learned how the Phoenicians made it when I was 9. 

Favourite animal?: Cats. All kinds & sizes...except Sphynxes. & unicorns. Are you a night owl, an early bird, or a vampire?: Night owl/early bird. The insomnia is strong with this one. 

Place you want to visit?: I’ve been lucky enough to check a lot of places off my “must see” list, but Madagascar is still a life goal. OH! & to visit every single Disney park around the world. 

Do you have pets? If you do, tell us a little about them: Ah! Something I LOVE talking about. I have 3 incredibly spoiled cat children who want to cuddle all the time. That’s right. Cat loves cats. They’re all rescues, Maine Coons, and little characters to be sure. Their names are Dorcas, Knick Knack, & Elmo. We’ve had Dorky for 10 years and Elmo & Knick Knack for 9 years. Knick Knack likes to walk on a leash & paws at the door for his walk. Dorcas plays fetch with toy mice, and Elmo likes to cuddle so hard Eric is genuinely worried I’ll be suffocated by his snuggles. 

Tell us a little about yourself?: My grandma once told me that I’ve always known exactly who I am, even as a child, and I’ve let that sense-of-self guide me (not always to greatness mind you) every day. I’m an introvert with fairly crippling anxiety & depression, and I simply don’t care who knows it. If me being upfront about it can help anyone, I’m happy to do it. I’m hypercritical of myself & what I put out into the world. Being frank, honest, and sarcastic are how I say “hello,” but I’m also a firm believer in “don’t say something rude just to say something rude.” Tact is key. Encouraging people to find their own happiness & fulfillment in life are things which bring me joy. Likewise, I’d do pretty much anything for a friend, & if there’s something I can do to help them/help someone in their journey to find happiness in life, I want to do it. Uuuummm, I laugh so hard I cry a lot, and my eyeliner runs. It always makes people think I’ve been crying for real & filled with emotions. It’s awkward. I guess I’m creative? I like woodworking, pyrography, crafting, and making nerd stuff through those mediums. 

Fun or weird fact about you?: I entered my wedding reception to “The Imperial March.” It’s safe to say I’ve been a wee bit obsessed with Star Wars for longer than my Sega Genesis is old.

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This is the ninth instalment of Bughead Family’s Member Spotlight series. Each week, a member’s url is selected through a randomizer and they will be featured in a spotlight post. In order to participate, please join the Bughead Discord (more information found here). Thank you.

[ryanmeft]

Ant-Man and the Wasp Movie Review

Avengers: Infinity War wanted us to take grown people in tights very, very seriously. Ant-Man and the Wasp has different ambitions. It marries superhero-ing and parenting, scales the stakes down to a personal level, and tosses in a dollop of 1960’s gee-whiz fun on top of it. When it works, it’s a trick-a-minute heist caper that makes great use of the franchise’s signature size-changing gimmick. When it doesn’t, it’s often trying to being funny.

At this point you can’t pick and choose Marvel franchises, and this sequel picks up not after the original Ant-Man, but after Captain America: Civil War. Scott Lang (Paul Rudd), the now-former Ant-Man, is in the last days of two years of house arrest for his role in that movie. He spends his time learning drums and magic tricks, soaking in the bath, and creating indoor amusement park attractions for his precocious daughter Cassie (Abby Ryder Fortson). He’s out of contact with former allies Hank (Michael Douglas) and Hope (Evangeline Lilly) Van Dyne, who are a wee bit miffed that he accidentally made them fugitives. Reconciliation is inevitable, of course, and it comes when Scott has a dream of Hope’s long-missing mother Janet (Michelle Pfeiffer), who is trapped in a void-like place called the Quantum Realm. For mysterious reasons, a person named Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen) in a white suit who can walk through anything wants the tech they need to rescue her. Helpful against the new villain is that Hope is now the Wasp, with a suit that can shrink like Scott’s but can also fly and, well, sting people. Lilly and Rudd have considerably more chemistry here than in the first go-round; Douglas’s paternal hits to Lang’s ego also feel natural and amusing.

The plot mostly consists of those convenient screenwriting obstacles thrown in front of heroes to stymie them from what should be a straightforward goal. These include several Mcguffins; Hank’s machine for reaching the Quantum Realm, as well as the film’s super-suits, seem to keep suddenly needing parts they did not need ten minutes ago. There’s also a goofy FBI agent (Randall Park) whose goal in life seems to be catching Lang out-of-bounds, and Walton Goggins hamming it up as a black market tech dealer. The story, and what all these characters want with which plot device, matters about as much as this stuff ever matters in a popcorn flick. What’s fun is the multi-layered chase these characters engage in while terribly important bits of comic book malarkey change hands.

Like any good heist flick, this game of keep away is given a lot of exciting attention. The powers complement the good old-fashioned steal-and-chase stuff, with less time than usual spent on fisticuffs between super-people. The character of Ghost is a spoiler in the mix, tossed in whenever the action gets a little too stale; her ability to pass through anything basically renders the characters’ powers irrelevant, so they have to outwit her. This all culminates in a big showdown that’s more a car chase than a fight, and includes Ant-Man utilizing a truck-bed as a scooter, cars the size of Hot Wheels, a Pez dispenser used as a weapon against motorcycle thugs, and our three circus acts shrinking, enlarging, flying and phasing around one another as the thingamajigger they are all after changes hands many times.

This is a lot of fun, but the only time Peyton Reed, the five-deep writing team and the army of special effects wizards get to really play around with the weirdness of the character is in the eventual excursion into the Quantum Realm. How you feel about that depends on whether you’re at peace with what modern superhero films are. With the exception of something like Thor: Ragnarok or Logan, truly personal touches are more the exception than the rule, and something as unique as Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man work is probably in the past, for now. While I would have loved to see more wackiness out of Ant-Man’s less grim plot, I go into these movies knowing what to expect, and I got it. Should I knock it for not being something it was never going to be?

Since real uniqueness is off the table, the creative team instead differentiates the film by doubling down on Lang’s parenthood. The original gave us probably the only on screen superhero we’ll ever see scooping ice cream at work, and while he’s got a bit more illustrious job now, Lang’s still trying to balance being a superhero and a daddy. This outing makes that feel less like a set-up for the film’s plot and more like who Lang actually is. He goes to wonderfully ridiculous lengths to entertain and educate Cassie while being housebound, and is visibly frustrated with the Van Dynes when they don’t seem to care as much about him possibly trading in his family for prison as they do about their own family problems. Rudd is perfectly cast for this type of heroism, right down to making dad jokes. This makes Ant-Man a valuable addition to the MCU stable, as the only character in it who feels like he leads a truly believable adult life when he’s not in tights.

There are places where the film falters, and sadly, one of those is Lang’s hyper-active, motor-mouthed partner Luis. He’s played by Michael Pena, a successful Latino actor in a world where Latinos haven’t benefited from outrage at the whiteness of Hollywood, and is one of the few such characters in the MCU. That’s what makes his reduction to annoying comic relief all the more unfortunate. The bottom line is his character just isn’t funny or endearing, and while he fit in the first film’s story, here he and his buddies (David Dastmalchian and Tip “T.I.” Harris) feel like they are around to fulfill a contract. Also in obligation roles are Judy Greer and Bobby Cannavale as Lang’s ex-wife and her husband, respectively. These are five talented actors reduced to trying to break up the tension with awkward jokes. Ant-Man is already one of the less urgent feathers in Marvel and Disney’s massive hat; it doesn’t need more comedy, and in fact could stand to take itself a bit more seriously. Laurence Fishburne is better utilized as one of the Pyms’ old colleagues.

Get past the failed attempts at jokes and the lamentable waste of some high-class acting talent, and Ant-Man and the Wasp is an admirable, family-oriented addition to the MCU. If at times it doesn’t believe in itself as much as it should, at others the dynamic of family relations elevates it. Younger viewers will thrill to see a 65-foot-tall man walking in San Francisco bay, while their parents might smile at the fact this behemoth would rather be coloring and playing house.

Verdict: Recommended

Note: I don’t use stars, but here are my possible verdicts. I suppose you could consider each one as adding a star.

Must-See

Highly Recommended

Recommended

Average

Not Recommended

Avoid like the Plague

[wafflesetc]

I’ll be there for you, Chapter 17 (previously)

A/N: Folks, this is it. The final chapter of IBTFY. It’s been a long, slow, ride for these two. And it’s ending on nothing but a good time. Thank you for every kind word, like, kudos, DM, ask and reblog you’ve given this fic. It means more than you’ll know. 

The biggest of biggest thank you’s to @kkruml and @missclairebelle who fix every wrong, make it right, and give me something substantial to post. They’re the real magic workers BTS of this fic and I literally could not have done it without them.

To @jules-fraser and @thefraserwitch thank you for the constant encouragment.

And the biggest thank you for this fic has to go to @balfeheughlywed, for without her text post I don’t even know how many months back, this fic wouldn’t even be here. 

One Month Later Claire

I found it funny how while to any passerby who came through our apartment nothing had changed .We still had the black couch. The coffee table still had a dent in it from a game night six months past where John had inevitably drunkenly fallen and hit his head causing me to do my first ‘at home’ stitches with nothing but the unfinished vodka handle to clean out the wound and no localized anesthesia for the poor man

The kitchen still had a few broken tiles that needed to get fixed from where Jamie punched the wall. The floor still had some stains from a spot where I left a cold beer too long.

So while nothing had seemingly changed, everything too had also changed.

We had yet to out ourselves to our friends, Geillis being the one exception. We had practically almost gotten it on in her kitchen- and she’d never let me live that one down. Jamie’s belongings had slowly trickled from his bedroom to mine. ‘Ours’ I had to remind myself. His extra firm pillow was on the side of the bed where he said he liked to sleep- but I knew well enough after waking up with my entire body spooned against his, we both preferred the right side of the bed. I had learned he liked getting up with me at my ungodly hours when I was on call. There was always a whisky or cup of coffee waiting on me before I left or for whenever I came home.

He never complained when I did our laundry. He caught on rather quickly that folding clothes was not my forte and I had a tendency to leave the clean clothes in a basket in front of the dryer. That would leave him unsure if they were truly clean or dirty… Soon enough he caught on and I would come home to folded clothes that had also been put away. We had set into our own rhythm the last month. It was shocking at times when I stopped and thought about it- being with Jamie was as easy as breathing. I was coming off my sixth night on call- My trauma rotation was nearing its end, and after a massive car accident off the freeway where I had a mass casualty with six dead bodies on my watch.

I had never had that many patients die on my service in all my years as a resident and in one night it had nearly doubled.

I could feel the imaginary weight of the day on my shoulders as I entered the apartment. I could smell the beef stew in the crockpot. The table had been set, a glass of whisky waiting for me (per usual) and a large, red headed Scot with a smile.

“Ye look like ye didna have a good day. Please tell me ye dinna feel as bad as ye look.” The shrug on his shoulders and half smile made me feel like I had just kicked a puppy. He had had something planned tonight and I was coming in ruining it.

Did I look as bad as I felt, though? Apparently. His words were the tip of the iceberg for me, sending me down into full meltdown mode.  “I had six patients die in the A&E tonight.”

“That massive accident I saw on the news?”

“Yes.” My voice faltered. I took a step towards him and he rushed to my side. His arms encompassed me and I felt him crush me tightly against his body.

“Ye did everything ye could to save them, I know ye did Claire.” I felt the tears running down my face as he continued.  “Christ. Ye have a gift, Sassenach. Yer hands- ye’re a healer. I know ye did everything you could and then some. Just because the devil is tryna scheme ye, dinna let him get ye.”

“I could have done more…” My voice cracked as I tried to defend circumstances I knew were well out of my control.

I felt his chest tighten as he squeezed me even more taut to his body. “Dinna go there. Ye did everything ye could. Ye look like ye have been hit by a train. Hell I havena seen ye in nearly a week, Sassenach. Ye’re tired, overworked, and hungry.” He kissed  the top of my head and gave my rear end a tight squeeze. I could tell he was trying to lighten my mood and he was doing a decent job at it so far. “We’re no’ going to have a pity party because that’s no’ who ye are.”

“I love you.” I mumbled into his chest. He knew me better than I knew myself sometimes- and he was right. I had endured a hard week and this was just the cherry on the top.

“I ken ye do, and I thank ye for it. How about I draw ye a bath and then we can eat and try and take yer mind off of things?” I looked up to see his blue eyes darken in the centers.

“You just want to get laid.”

“Maybe.” He smiled, kissing the bridge of my nose. “Ye will have yer courses any day now, and I just want to love on every inch of ye….”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ve been moody lately. It’s probably the combo of being overworked and PMS. It has been a while since we’ve…”

“Eight days, no’ that I’m counting.”

He was counting and I had to admit it: I found it rather endearing. He had tried to seduce me this past week. The first time was on my first morning of my seven in a row, but when my cellphone went off with an emergency trauma surgery, our supposed hour to get ready together was cut short. The second time he had texted me naughty phrases all day and told me to stay up a ‘wee bit’ past my bed time- and I had tried and failed miserably.

I blushed as I nudged his chest with my head. “You’re involved with a doctor now. Odd hours of being on-call and mood swings come with the territory. This weekend I will be all yours- you can do whatever you’d like to me.”

“A whole weekend, aye?”

“Relationships are compromise right? I’ve been too exhausted to satiate the fiend of a boyfriend I have- so I’ll give him my body, all weekend. Purely at his disposal.” This earned me a hearty laugh and he kissed my forehead.

“Ye make me sound like a nymphomaniac, Sassenach.”

“I mean… There’s nothing wrong with having a healthy sex life.”

“So I can make love to ye then- after ye have taken a shower?” He smiled at me and gave me the worst attempt at a wink I’d ever seen. (And threw me off just a touch.)

“Yes.” I choked. “Only if you promise to never wink at me again.”

“Deal. Do hurry though, Sassenach. I am no’ a verra patient man.”

I disentangled myself from his arms and escaped to the bathroom. I shed the scrubs from my body, tossing them in the hamper as I heard the soft croons from Frank Sinatra come from the kitchen.

“You’re such a romantic,” I said to myself. “And all mine.”

He was, and I was incredibly lucky. Turning the shower on, I felt my phone vibrate on the counter.

Geillis: You need to tell the others. I am tired of covering for you two. John knows something is up!

“Jamie,” I yelled taking a step into the shower. “When are we going to tell the others we’re together.”

“Mmphm.” Jamie grunted entering the bathroom. I rolled my eyes at him through the glass shower door and lathered my hair in shampoo.

“We both know they’ve been rooting for us since you moved in.”

“I ken.”

“And?”

He strode the few feet across to the glass and drew a heart in the condensation. “I like having ye as my little secret.”

“Bloody Scot.” I mumbled rinsing out my hair. “We can’t hide forever. I have that function next week at the hospital- John is a donor there, you know he’ll see us.”

“Fine. Game night on Friday and we can tell them.”

I mouthed I love you as he sashayed away in his defeat. “Hurry, yer food is goin’ to go cold.”

II finished washing my body and shaving my legs. Turning off the water, I heard The X-Files theme song bellow from my phone. Grabbing for my towel I saw the hospital’s caller ID On the screen.

“Dr. Beauchamp,” I answered in my doctor tone.

“Hey, Claire- it’s Geillis,” My female friend started on the other end of the line.

“Hey, what’s up? I’m off. If it’s a surgery, transfer to the night rotation doctor, I am off for the weekend.”

“It’s no’ that…” She took a breath and was silent for a moment. “I dinna ken how to tell ye.”

“What is it?” I asked as I reached for my body lotion.

“Do ye remember how ye were worried about your hemoglobin levels, anemic or whatnot since ye have been working so much?”

“Yes,” I hesitantly said. I had been scared I wasn’t eating and sleeping enough, causing some issues. I had her run a CBC panel just to put my mind at ease. I hadn’t really thought anything would come back- let alone for her to call me.  “What is it?” She caught the edge in my voice as if I were giving bad news to a patient’s family.

“I…”

“Just say it, Geillis.”

She took another breath and clicked her tongue. “You’re pregnant.”

Suddenly- it all made sense. The exhaustion and mood swings, the insatiable demand for Jamie.

“I’ll only ask once,” Geillis said. “Is it Jamie’s?”

“I…” I was speechless. “Yes.” I finished. “I’m sorry, I’ve got to go.”

“I ken. We’ll talk later.”

As I was hanging up the phone, I turned to the doorframe and saw my 6’3” and rather formidable Scot standing in the doorframe.

“Ye look like ye’ve seen a ghost, Sassenach. Are ye almost ready?”

I opened my mouth to speak but failed at words.

“Is everything alright?”

“No.” I said firmly. A smile crept across his face and he shook his head at me, though I could tell it was merely from confusion. “I mean, no but yes, but no, but yes. I don’t bloody know!” I raised my hands at him and shook my own head.

“Talk to me.”

“I…” I took a breath and placed my hands on the sink turning my face away from his eye contact. “We’re getting another roommate.”

“I’m sorry, I dinna understand.” His voice was quiet. I could practically hear the wheels in his head turning.  He had a pensive look on his face, a small smile in his eyes. I could see the realization coming across his face slowly but surely.

“Another roommate.”  I whispered taking one hand and placing it over my abdomen. “Do ye ken what I mean now, Fraser?”

“Claire….” He uttered taking a step into the bathroom. “Are ye….”

“I’m pregnant.”

I felt his hands on my waist as he turned me back to face him- his eyes covered with a thin film of tears and a smile from ear to ear.

“Another roommate, then.” He agreed placing a hand on my stomach.

And it was in that moment, any unknown or uncertain fear I had about the next chapter in our lives- whatever came, whatever we endured, as long as he kept looking at me like that- I knew we’d be just fine.

“Another roommate.” I smiled, placing my hand atop his, giving it a squeeze. “Another bloody roommate.”

[theblanketpeople]

The Sierra

Friday July 3rd, 2020 - Sunny - 77′F

We are back at the Sierra, at Stanislaus National Forest. This time, we have learnt not to rely on a campground, and to find a site that is not the meadows. Mike has been doing research on Google maps and has found a couple of ideal dispersed camping sites. We can only cross our fingers that Steve (our Subaru Impreza) can get over the rocky dirt road, and that these sites are not occupied by the time we arrive.

We left home at half past 10 in the morning, all excited like kids to do a drive through McDonalds for a Sausage McMuffin. To our dismay, the digital screen is only displaying the lunch menu. Oh well, McChicken burger it is. 

The drive to the Sierra took around 4 hours, including our short stop for lunch. Steve managed to get us to our site, albeit tilting rather severely on that tiny dirt road 50 feet from the site. I was clinging onto Steve’s handle, silently screaming, palms sweating.

We reached our site. It was empty; it was beautiful. The view is spectacular. the wind blowing gently, driving all mozzies far away, the sun shining down at us. Perfect weather.

We aren’t allowed fires at non designated campsites, so dinner on the stove it is. We took out the trout, brussel sprouts, tomatoes and fried them on our MSR pocket rocket stove. We watched sunset as we ate; the moon started rising from behind the mountains, crisp and bright. I went to bed shortly after, whilst Mike stayed up with the night sky.

Saturday July 4th, 2020 - Sunny - 77′F

Cow bells woke me up last night. They got louder as the night sunk deeper and I imagined cows climbing up our mountain and tramping on our tent and on us. 

At 7am, the sun blasted into our tent and woke us up. The temperature in our tent rose by 5′F every minute; we stripped off our layers and got out. This site does not provide any shade but thankfully, the wind cools us down. 

We started preparing breakfast. First, slice the chicken sausage, apple and tomatoes. Transfer them to a frying pan, sprinkle with olive oil, fresh thyme, salt and pepper. Start the fire, stir fry for around 5 minutes till the sausage is charred. Add a wee bit more olive oil, then crack 2 eggs onto the frying pan. Once the eggs are cooked, add fresh salad and drip some hot sauce over. Delicious.

Shortly after, we packed up and went for a hike. This is part of the Pacific Crest Trail. We started from Alpine State Highway 4, 5 minutes on foot from our camp site, and headed north. This hike is relatively flat and easy. When it’s easy for me, it means that even children will find it easy! 

About 2.5 miles into the hike, we stopped for lunch by Upper Kinney Lake. Lunch consists of bread, canned sardines, salami, crisps and hop tea. Lying on the rock, staring out into the mountains and their reflections on the lake; Mike dipping his feet into the cold water. Ah, simple pleasures are what give us joy. We yearn for this feeling every day.   

After lunch, we hiked northwards for another half mile before turning back, and returning to our campsite. Back at the site, we took out our books and read. I’m re-reading San Mao’s Sahara Desert adventures. How I long to live in the desert, in silence and in solitude. 

That evening, we saw a few cute little pikas running around amongst the rocks. We saw another beautiful sunset and the moon rising; cow bells ringing in the far distance. 

“Beauty beyond though everywhere, beneath, above, made and being made forever” - John Muir, My First Summer in the Sierra

Sunday July 5th, 2020 - Sunny - 77′F

We were woken up by the sun rays this morning. Made breakfast and spent the morning reading. We were relaxed and our stomachs contented. Before noon, we packed up and drove out to Mosquito Lake for a hike. My allergies acted up again and as we were hiking, I felt short of breath with a tightness in my chest. I started sniffing, sneezing and coughing. Sadly and unfortunately, we decided to cut short our hike and turned back. We need to find out what my allergy is from - is it from the pollen in the pine trees or is it from the pollen of the wildflowers. I certainly hope that there is a treatment for this and that I’m not allergic to nature!

We had cup noodles for lunch, then headed home to Oakland. Today has been anti climax but we have had a great trip. We feel fortunate that we are able to escape to nature amidst this pandemic lock down. 

[sunken-standard]

If you are looking for requests from the prompt list, might I be so bold as to suggest number 9 paired with number 20? I

“Quit it or I’ll bite.” / “D..did you just make that noise?”   

*

“So I mean—” Molly began.

“Don’t. say it.”

“I’m not going to say I told youso—”

“Aaaand you’re saying itanyway…”

“But I really, actually did.”

**3 hours earlier**

“Hiding in a wardrobe.  To waitfor an arsonist.  Sounds like a great plan.  I mean, there’s no waythe door would stick and we’d end up stuck inside.  Except, oh yeah,the door will probably stick and we’ll get stuck inside.”

“You do know the differencebetween telly and real life.”  It was a question.

“I know that I want my tombstoneto read ‘Here lies Molly Hooper, burned to death because SherlockHolmes is a complete and utter tit.’”

“And yet I’m the dramaqueen.”

**Now**

“If it’s any consolation, I don’tthink he’s going to show,” Sherlock said, his knee knockingagainst her shin while he shifted into a slightly less uncomfortableposition.

“Oh yes, I feel so much betternow.  No one texted back yet?”

“You’re less than a foot from myphone, did you hear my text alert?”

“You know, maybe if you didn’tdelete everyone else’s texts, they might read yours.”

“I don’t delete everyone’s. Just the ones that start with 'hi,’ and that’s only because no onestarts a text with 'hi’ except my mobile carrier and I don’t need toread a text confirming that I just paid my bill online or whateverother nonsense they send.”

Molly made a little noise in the backof her throat to concede the point.  After a beat of silence, shesaid, “God I hope somebody phones back soon. I really need awee.”

“Is this a thing with you andwardrobes?”

“Okay, two things.  One, that wasone time.  And B, you weren’t there, so you don’t know.”

Sherlock opened his mouth so saysomething, thought better of it, and closed it again with a click ofhis teeth.  "Hand me my phone, I’m going to try texting again,“he said after a moment.

"I don’t want to get up.  What didI just say about the state of my bladder?  And why did you feel theneed to hang your jacket anyway?”

“I didn’t want it to get wrinkled. And it’s hot enough in here already.”

“Well, maybe if you’d stop blowingall that hot air…”

“Phone.”

“Get it yourself.”

“Fine,” he huffed.  He gropedalong the back of the wardrobe while he got to his knees, leaningmore of his weight on Molly than was probably strictly necessary ashe patted down the fabric of his jacket to find the pocket.

“Gah, your hair feels likespiderwebs on my face,” she said, wiggling a hand between themto try and push him away.

“Oh, this?” he asked, turninghis head slowly to drag the ends of his curls against the side of herface.

“Eugh, staaaaahp,” she said,trying to lean as far away as possible.

“Stop what?” he asked,following her.

“Quit it or I’ll bite… your—yourear!  Or your nose.  Staaaaahp!”

And then she turned her face and bithim.  On the ear.

Sherlock froze.  It wasn’t a hard bite,but a play-bite.  He swallowed and hoped like hell she didn’t move amuscle or she’d find out exactly how he felt about getting bitten onthe ear.

A throaty moan echoed through thewardrobe; they both jumped, Molly’s canine catching the shell of hisear rather painfully as her mouth pulled away.

“Di…did you just make thatnoise?”  He suppressed a shiver as her breath blew over his ear.

“It’s my phone.”

“Again?  Really?”

“It’s probably John or Mary. There’s something wrong with the phone, it keeps assigning randomtones to different people.  I think The Woman gave me a virus.”

“Too easy, I am not touchingthat.”

“She said the same thing,” helamented.

“Would you just get your damnphone and get off of me?”

“She said that, too.”

“More than I wanted to know…”Molly said to herself.  She clamped her eyes shut when the screen litup the inside of the wardrobe.  "Christ, warn a girl before youdo that.  And before you say 'that’s what she said’ one more time,consider the position of my knee.“

"Has anyone ever told you you’reno fun?  Lestrade’s on his way up, by the way.”

“Oh thank God.  And I’ll have youknow I can be quite a lot of fun.”

He wasn’t sure if the way her kneebrushed his inner thigh was intentional or just really, really bad(or good, depending) timing.  He was saved from ever finding out byLestrade.

“Sherlock, Molly, you two inhere?”

“Yes,” Sherlock called.

“That was my ear,” Mollysaid, wincing.

“Well you bit mine, hardly anyworse.”

“I’m never coming on a case withyou again.”

“What about after a case?”

“I—what?”

“What?” he asked innocently.

The door squealed open to revealLestrade, Donovan, and two uniforms Sherlock didn’t recognize. Really, that was just a bit of overkill, he thought.

“You two, ah, need a minute?”

“Sure hope it takes longer thanthat,” Molly said under her breath.

Sherlock pulled away and climbed out ofthe wardrobe, then offered Molly a hand to help her out.  He sniffedthe air, was that—?

“Lestrade, I believe if you go tothe room across the hall, you’ll find your arsonist,” Sherlocksaid.

Lestrade gave him one of his how thefuck—? looks before turning and tromping after the other three.

“So about that 'after a case’thing…” Molly said.

Sherlock was about to reply when thefire alarm went off.

“Seriously?” he said, lookingup at the ceiling as though it would stop the alarm.

“How long until management checksthe room?” Molly asked.

“This one’s technically vacant. They probably won’t.”

“So we’ve got all night?”

“Yes…”

“Good,” Molly said. “We’regoing to need it.”

[365footballorg-blog]

Anatomy of a deal: How LAFC, New England swung the Lee Nguyen trade

USA Today Sports Images

May 4, 20184:20PM EDT

Sam Stejskal and Paul Tenorio

As the clock ticked toward the close of the 2018 MLS Primary Transfer Window on Tuesday night, LAFC general manager John Thorrington wasn’t worried about finalizing the last few details of the trade that ended up bringing Lee Nguyen to the expansion club.

The only thing Thorrington joked could potentially scuttle the deal? The off-chance that New England general manager Mike Burns might fall asleep.

While Thorrington was working into the evening at his office at the LAFC training facility, Burns was in Europe on a previously-scheduled scouting trip. The Revs exec wasn’t just an entire ocean and continent away from Southern California, he was nine hours ahead of his LAFC counterpart, sitting in the lobby of his hotel through the wee hours to try to complete the trade.

“I was afraid he was going to fall asleep,” Thorrington told MLSsoccer.com with a chuckle on Thursday afternoon. “We could’ve agreed, and if he falls asleep at 4 a.m., it’s literally over, that’s the reality.”

Burns, of course, was never actually going to fall asleep before the trade was put to bed.

“I was just sitting in the hotel lobby. There was a lot of conversations and a lot of texts and emails with MLS and with LAFC, with our organization,” Burns told MLSsoccer.com on Friday morning. “And so it wasn’t anything glamorous. It was just that’s where I happened to be and that’s where the deal got done for me.”

Finally, at 5:25 a.m. local time, a little over an hour-and-a-half before the deadline, Burns ended his all-nighter. The paperwork was approved. The Lee Nguyen saga was over. New England sent the 31-year-old to LAFC in exchange for $ 700,000 in guaranteed allocation money and up to $ 250,000 in additional allocation funds if, per ESPN FC’s Jeff Carlisle, LAFC give Nguyen a raise or trade him in the summer.

The deal put an end to a dramatic, ongoing back-and-forth between the Revs and Nguyen. The attacking midfielder requested a trade from New England multiple times following the 2017 season. When the Revs didn’t deal him by the start of preseason, Nguyen held out, not reporting for the first three weeks of new head coach Brad Friedel’s inaugural training camp.

According to Burns, multiple teams expressed interest in trading for Nguyen during his holdout. Thorrington said that LAFC were in that group. The Revs, however, weren’t taking offers.

“We were not open to entering into any sort of negotiation or trade talks in the midst of a player holdout,” Burns said. “It’s a position that frankly I and our organization take, and that was the main reason at the time.”

Nguyen ended his holdout and returned to camp on February 9, but the Revs wouldn’t budge. Burns admitted that the club’s attitude changed after Nguyen’s holdout ended, but said that they wanted to give Friedel time to assess how Nguyen fit with the cadre of new players the team signed this winter before they began to seriously consider trading him.

A couple of weeks before the close of the window, New England had seen enough. Nguyen, who had 11 goals and 15 assists in 2017, hadn’t made a single gameday roster and the Revs had gotten off to a solid start. Burns began to put word out that Nguyen was available.

Once again, multiple teams were interested. ESPN’s Taylor Twellman reported on April 15 that New England declined $ 750,000 in guaranteed allocation money from an unnamed Eastern Conference club in return for Nguyen. A source told MLSsoccer.com earlier this week that the unnamed team was the Chicago Fire.

Though Chicago offered more guaranteed allocation money than New England ended up receiving from LAFC, a separate source said that the Revs declined Chicago’s offer and took LAFC’s in part because they wanted to move Nguyen outside of the Eastern Conference.

Burns declined to comment on Chicago offering $ 750,000 in allocation money and said that the deal with LAFC “was the best decision for our organization” when asked if trading Nguyen outside the Eastern Conference was a factor in Tuesday’s move.

Thorrington offered a slightly deeper window into how GMs view intra- vs. inter-conference trades.

“When you look at a trade it’s closer to a zero-sum game within conferences because you’re competing against each other for playoff positions,” he said. “Logic would say yes, if all things being equal, you’d rather a player that can hurt you goes to the other conference.”

That line of thinking gave an edge to LAFC. Shortly after learning he was available, Thorrington and the club’s technical staff began “really deliberate, thorough” conversations to suss out their valuation of Nguyen. Thorrington then gave Burns a call to see if the two clubs were in the same neighborhood.

“A couple conversations are used to get a sense of valuations, and if they don’t align it’s a quick conversation or it’s a quick ‘No,’” Thorrington said. “We received them as well. Clubs call and say, ‘What do you think of this?’ You see if there is traction to the conversation and then it gets more formal from there.

“I don’t play fantasy sports, but I wouldn’t think it’s all that dissimilar from fantasy. Outside of those leagues where you get a tattoo if you lose, the pressure is slightly different [for us].”

After determining that their valuations were roughly aligned, Burns and Thorrington kicked their talks into higher gear. Discussions truly heated up in the final 24-48 hours before the close of the window. Most of the heavy lifting had been done by mid-afternoon on Tuesday, but a few minor details remained as the deadline approached, necessitating Burns’ early-morning shift in the hotel lobby.

In the end, they got the deal over the line. LAFC stacked another high-caliber piece on their already-potent attack and New England netted at least $ 700,000 in allocation money for a player that they didn’t appear to have any interest in using.

It was a happy conclusion to the transfer window for both GMs, but neither had much energy to celebrate. Thorrington, who finalized the signing of forward Adama Diamonde from Hull City on Monday night after LAFC opened Banc of California Stadium with Sunday’s 1-0 victory against the Seattle Sounders, headed home and decompressed after “72 hours of non-stop activity.” Burns made his way from the lobby to his hotel room, crashing for 2 1/2 hours before waking up to fly back to Boston.

“Sometimes that’s what it takes, having that deadline to which both sides have to say, ‘OK, it’s either time to sign off on this or we go separate ways,’” Burns said. “I’ve been involved on both sides of this where it comes down to last minute and something doesn’t get done for whatever reason, but in this particular case, it did. Like I said, if we didn’t feel OK about the deal and if LAFC didn’t feel OK about the deal, then it certainly wouldn’t have gotten done. But at the end of the day, we both felt it made sense for both of our organizations.”

“It’s not atypical,” said Thorrington. “These negotiations are a back-and-forth; you give an offer and see whether it meets expectations. You learn a bit about both sides until, even the way I say it, you align on one dollar. We found that one dollar. A price they were willing to accept and a price we think is great value for someone we think is an immediate and big contributor to something we have going here.”

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Anatomy of a deal: How LAFC, New England swung the Lee Nguyen trade was originally published on 365 Football

[daleisgreat]

Top 10 and Worst 5 Films of 2014 through 2016

I meant to do this last year, but completely neglected it. When I ran my old podcast, one episode a year, my friends Matt, Jay and I would host our annual best and worst movies of the year episode. We did three installments for films that hit in 2011-2013. The podcast is not around anymore so I have not done it since, but I still have been keeping Word documents on my computer with a list of all the movies I saw each year and constantly update my top 10 and worst 5 rankings of the year. I meant to post the best and worst of 2015 as a blog, but as I said it just slipped past me and I will make up for it now with a triple best and worst list for 2014 through 2016. I had a whole extra year to catch up on Netflix and VUDU on 2014 and 2015 releases I missed so I have seen about 20% more films than I did than 2016. So hopefully that will excuse any glaring omissions that did not make my rankings. That said, I am still feeling pretty good about my 2016 list and there were only a handful of films that slipped by me that I have not seen yet. Movies linked on the lists will take you to my review of the film if you want to see my expanded thoughts on the film. One last thing before the lists, I want to give a shoutout to one of my favorite film critics, Scott Sawitz! I have discussed movies, wrestling and a ton more with Scott for well over a decade and have had the pleasure of having him guest host on my aforementioned podcast several times. I have always been a fan of his reviews and weekly column, Monday Morning Critic, over at Inside Pulse. His latest column is his annual top 10 films of the year I always look forward to. Scott has a twist on his rankings this year because he has been putting a ton of work into his weekly YouTube series, Confessions of a Super-Hero, weekly bite-sized episodic viewing all about what super-heroes do in their off-duty downtime. If you have a moment, please check it out! Now, onto the lists! 2014 TOP 10 10) Wild 9) Nightcrawler 8) Gone Girl 7) Equalizer/John Wick 6) Imitation Game 5) Interstellar 4) Guardians of the Galaxy 3) Whiplash 2) Captain America: The Winter Soldier 1) Boyhood Best Documentary – Life Itself

The two comic book films on the list ranked high with Marvel having a stellar year. Guardians surprised me because the concept just seemed impossible to pull off in live action with an animated tree and talking raccoon, but somehow Marvel did it and it kicked all kinds of ass. Winter Soldier was an awesome modern day follow up to The First Avenger. I seem to be in the minority of people when discussing Interstellar, and while I would rank it a notch or two under other non-Batman Christopher Nolan classics like Inception, I still very much enjoyed it that it made it into the midst of my top 10. Life Itself is an excellent documentary all about Roger Ebert in his final days as it documents his and Gene Siskel’s breakout rise as the go to film critics of the nation. Wild hit all the right nerves for me on Cheryl Strayed’s arduous journey of self-discovery. Nightcrawler shocked me at the lengths Gyllenhaal went to get the ultimate creep-o look down and his convincing transition from wannabe ripoff artist to the quintessential conman. I was expecting Equalizer to be a by-the-numbers action flick, but Denzel Washington proved me wrong by adding on many layers to it, and it is bizarre how John Wick came out within weeks of it and both were nearly identical plots, but both delivered in their own unique way. John Wick also gets my dubious award for best ever Kevin Nash cameo. Finally, props to Richard Linklater for delivering on his film that was literally 12 years in the making with Boyhood. Linklater is a risk taker with his ambitious projects, and he knocked another one out of the park with Boyhood getting my vote as best film of 2014. 2014 WORST 5 5) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 4) Tekken 2 3) Pro-Wrestling Zombies 2) Amazing Spider-Man 2 1) Transformers: Rise of the Fallen 2014 saw many terrible films, I actually had nearly 10 films as being ‘worst 5-calibur’ material. The TMNT remake had a few bright spots and scene-saving moments from Will Arnett, but he alone could not save a film with so many gut-wrenching jokes and awful retconning of the TMNT lore I grew up with. I actually dug the first Tekken film as a kind of solid nonsense fighting tournament movie that was kind of faithful to the source material ala Mortal Kombat, but the sequel was this awful attempt at a mafia-crime-mystery-drama that failed on all levels. Pro-Wrestling Zombies was a very low budget zombie slashing film starring Matt Hardy, Jim Duggan and Roddy Piper, but with these wrestling legends it was not even enjoyable in an ironic way like most zombie films, and was just flatout bad. Amazing Spider-Man 2 shocked me because I legitimately enjoyed the reboot, and thought this would be another easy follow up with most of the same cast and crew returning. However, Spider-Man and Electro both cast painful jokes and banter throughout that did not exist in the prior film, and there were countless groan inducing moments. The latest Transformers film outdid the straight-up bad humor and moments throughout the entire wreck of a film. Michael Bay somehow found a way to make it a nearly insurmountable task to get through. 2015 Top 10 10) Southpaw 9) Ant Man 8) The Martian 7) End of the Tour 6) Mad Max: Fury Road 5) Revenant 4) Creed 3) Steve Jobs 2) Spotlight 1) Hateful Eight Best Documentary – Tie: Electric Boogaloo & Winning: Racing Life of Paul Newman

Yeah, I like my feel good boxing/sports films as Jake Gyllenhaal shined again this year in Southpaw and Creed surpassed my expectations with its contemporary take on the Rocky franchise. While the lighthearted moments from Damon seemed a little forced, I still very much dug his Mars survival story, but not as much I got immersed into Dicaprio’s and Tom Hardy’s intense wilderness survival adventure that is The Revenant. Fury Road marked the first Mad Max movie I saw and the bombastic costumes initially had me raising an eyebrow, but once the heavy metal guitar semi-truck graced the screen in its infinite glory I instantly went on board with the film and never got off. I recently reviewed Steve Jobs, and if you recall I absolutely loved its use of creative license to tell a nonstop dialogue juggernaut of three big moments in Jobs’ life. Spotlight is the perfect way to tell a slow building mystery film where investigative journalists gradually picked away at their biggest scoop ever. Finally, I am biased towards Quentin Tarantino as I view the man as being one of the absolute best at dialogue in films, and he delivered once again with countless another excellent script and scenes that stole the show in The Hateful Eight. The setting worked perfectly and I was on my toes waiting to see which one of the eight was going to make the first move in a powdered keg filled with characters ready to burst. 2015 Worst 5 5) Fantastic Four 4) Jupiter Ascending 3) Chappie 2) Ted 2 1) Pixels

I was surprised at how bad Jupiter Ascending turned out to be, and did not expect Channing Tatum to be the only decent part of that film. After the dud that was Sucker Punch and now Jupiter Ascending, I am cutting myself off from all future Wachowski-directed films. I am a fan of District 9 and its director Neil Blomkamp and felt burned by his latest film, the insufferable Chappie in numerous ways. I was anticipating bad things from both Fantastic Four or Pixels, but part of me forced myself to go to see how awful they ultimately were. Fantastic Four was mostly drawn out and dull, and had some very head-scratching moments throughout. I cannot remember the last Adam Sandler film I legitimately liked, does the first half of Funny People count? Any marginal hopes of a semi-decent film were squashed the second Kevin James popped up on screen as the dopey president of the USA. Practically the entire film was bad, but I will at least give it minor props for some pretty good use of the videogame CG in the film. 2016 Top 10 10) Purge: Election Year 9) Deadpool 8) Star Trek: Beyond 7) 13 Hours: Secret Soldiers of Benghazi 6) Captain America: Civil War 5) Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice 4) Hacksaw Ridge 3) Sully 2) Fences 1) The Accountant Best Documentary – ESPN 30 for 30: The ’85 Bears

The last two Purge films have turned into guilty Halloween pleasures like the old Final Destination films. Election Year kept up the same gritty, over-the-top tone and pace as Anarchy Reigns before it. Deadpool surprised me at not being a dud, and far exceeded my expectations with tons of great jokes, dialogue, action and unapologetically aware 4th wall-breaking references throughout. It has been awhile since I got wrapped up in an intense R-rated war film, and 2016 had two of them with 13 Hours and Hacksaw Ridge that both get high recommendations from me. I am a wee bit of a Clint Eastwood fan, but I will give him and Tom Hanks righteous props on how they somehow made Sully’s heroic emergency plane landing into the Hudson River a thrilling feature length film. Some of you who saw the list are probably baffled at why I rank the controversial Dawn of Justice over the much-loved Civil War, but the two ranked so close together I just might change my answer if you ask me any day of the week. If I am splitting hairs I did not care for the shoehorned Spider-Man extended cameo, and his dialogue has me worried that Homecoming is going to be filled with an equal, if not worse script than Amazing Spider-Man 2. Denzel Washington and Viola Davis are sublime in Fences. The small, but mighty cast here delivered powerful performances, with Washington and Davis especially delivering in this dialogue-driven-tour-de-force about hard times for a family making ends meet in the 1950s. I did not know too much going into The Accountant other than it had what appeared to be a gimmick of an assassin with Autism. I could not have been more wrong as there is so much more going on with this film that it entertained me throughout its near two and a half hour runtime. Ben Affleck continues his streak of excellent performances, and I cannot wait to see how his upcoming solo version of The Batman turns out. Worst 5 2) Suicide Squad 1) Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk

I have only seen two movies this year that qualify as “worst 5-caliber.” I could not get into Suicide Squad. The first third of the film played out like an extended trailer scored with worn out songs that I am use to only hearing off trailers. There were several WTF moments throughout, and add in the film felt compromised after audiences griped that Dawn of Justice was not lighthearted enough. DC/Warner Bros. responded by pasting in several post-production groan-worthy zingers that played more to the mainstream, but made me cringe. I am optimistic for the presumable sequel though, because I did dig Will Smith as Deadshot and Margot Robbie’s portrayal of fan favorite, Harley Quinn and I am even interested in what direction they take The Joker next. Halftime Walk usurped it as my worst film of the year however because of how unlikeable the cast is. About 20% of the film is war flashbacks that I actually liked, but the other 80% is the members of the military squad’s day being honored at a football game, and just being super dick-ish and incredibly un-empathetic throughout it. I know this is based off a book, but I do not know if something got lost in translation or if this was the desired vision of the film. Either way, it yields my worst of the year honors! Thanks for sticking with me rambling all this way, see you next year!