#well okay ive only done 6 interviews. but. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inoxske · 3 years

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a few my hero academia headcanons (mostly kirishima, kiribaku, and bakusquad) (3rd year)

kirishimas laugh is a very wonderful sound that everyone fucking adores, so lots of people think hes flirting because he laughs a lot but he isnt lol

i believe all the bakusquad can sing but their all shy so they pretend to be really bad but theyre all closeted theater kids so when 'the room where it happened' from Hamilton played one night at karaoke night they all sang and hamonized and everyone freaked the fuck out

bakugo and denki cross dress because it makes them feel powerful and they are often seen in fashion magazines and shit

kirishima is best friends with bakugos parents and all of katsukis family adore eijirou

bakugo cries the second any kind of animal or child is hurt in movies

adding onto that ^ bakugo loves kids, more so as he gets older

kirishima will go to interviews for really important people, but because of his adhd he forgets important shit so he has to call bakugo while in the interview and ask and they always keep the clip because he always puts him on speaker

kirishima will put on classical music but like really nice music and dance with people in the dorms. hes danced with all the girls, and was caught slowdancing with katsuki once at like 3am on a saturday (aizawa cried like a little bitch)

all of 1a calls aizawa dadzawa by the time 2nd year rolls around. like, if someone calls him aizawa now he thinks hes in trouble or someone died or some shit.

kirishima can handle any kind of spice because one of his mamas is half latino and so he basically grew up with lots of spice. bakugo challenged him to a spicey wing eating thing and they ended up having to stop because bakugo ran out and threw uP BC HE WASNT GONNA LOSE OKAY

kirishima will escort young ladies home if they feel unsafe, or he will just scare the shit out of men who harass anyone

sero becomes super fucking popular with ladies like everyone thinks hes hot and he doesnt know why but like- BITCH- ..... he is so fine, next

bakugo and midoriya go to therapy together and work shit out. kirishima ends up having to go with bakugo to therapy a lot bc he says he gives him the courage to open up and not feel weak 🤨..... idk sounds kinda gay to me

a majority of class A has a mission near an animal shelter, and damage is done to the shelter and a really dangerous aggressive dog starts running at mina and bro this dog- this dog is fucking BIG like wolf big and out for BLOOD and is so loud and kiri, ya know, grew since first year and is now like a tank like 6"7 and 300 pounds of muscle and so he gets infront of mina and just goes "HEY!" in a really fucking deep like angry as shit voice and makes himself big and the bear of a dog immediately flinches and runs back into its kennel. and everyone kind of freezes and looks at him, and hes like "jeez, i didnt mean to be so loud" and bakugos like "oh no that was the hottest thing ive ever seen in my life" anyways

bakugo can cook, kirishima can bake

bakugo gets super bad sensory overload sometimes when hes had an especially bad experience with a quirk or something and will have meltdowns about his clothing or how sweaty he is, or how loud his quirk is and how bright it is and kirishima will help him. when it first happened everyone handled it really well, and turned off the lights, and momo made him a weighted blanket and noisecancelling shit and kirishima put his head on his chest to help him match his breathing and shit. v wholesome.

kirishima and bakugo got in a super big fight near the beginning of second year when bakugo was in a bad mood and called him weak again and kirishima blew up on him and told him how he wasnt gonna let katsuki walk all over him just because he feels insecure or weak or whatever and kirishima got super fucking pissed because bakugo got defensive and told him he shouldnt take it so seriously and that it was true and he needs to get stronger and kirishima was like fuck you, at least i admit i have some weaknesses to overcome, and some things that need to be fixed, and they were both hurt and shit but bakugo wouldnt apologize so he stopped talking to him for a while. and then kirishima kept teaming up with midoriya and working together and bakugo confronted him and was obviously trying not to cry and apologized and shit

^ adding onto that. kirishima is equals with bakugo, and will always be equals with bakugo. he never ever comes back crying first, and he always leaves bakugo alone until he apologizes. thats called being partners bitch, and bakugo tries his best. they barely ever argue, unless its about mac and cheese or some shit

kirishima loves calling bakugo pet names, and bakugo will absolutely never admit to anyone it makes him feel like the strongest person alive, but he will to kirishima

kirishima called bakugo "puppy" once while he was sleepy and bakugo broke down crying because he didnt know why it made him feel so nice. kirishima felt horrible. they werent even dating yet 💀

when minas bored she'll teach one of the boys a dance and make a tiktok with them. bakugo is surprising good at dancing.

bakugo, kaminari, and kirishima are the absolutely fucking hilarious when left alone together.

bakugo is super innocent so everyone will ask him random questions at the most random times just to see his whole body blush red and he turns into a grandma, like "bakugo how do lesbians have sex" and hes like "WH- WHAT THE- EW!!! GROSS I DONT KNOW! WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT!!! YUCKY!!!"

bakugo has to have braces for a year and then wears a retainer and kirishima likes it alittle too much while everyone else thinks he looks fucking stupid

denki will go wake up aizawa and sleep in his bed when he gets sick or has a nightmere. present mic will make denki breakfast if he comes to the dorms to find his spot taken.

mina and bakugo are barbz, and so is kirishima just much more on the DL.

kirishima and bakugo can talk telepathically by the time they get to 3rd year, so they always make up the best excuses. also they have really weird nicknames that only they get. kirishima did make the mistake of joking around and saying he wants to be called big daddy boss man and bakugo wouldnt cook for him until he had a written apology.

bakugo really loves cuddling but doesnt know how to ask for it so he just acts like a cat and headbuts kiri and sits on him angrily until he gets the message.

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ibroughtyoumybullets · 4 years

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actually ive decided my whole bingo card was an act of prophecy and all of them are going to happen. this is how it goes down:

1. geoff rickly bullets tell all article - officially endorsed by the band, meant as promo. however, there is a throwaway line in there about how ‘frank and gerard were super close from the jump, and clearly meant to perform together’

2. a tabloid, looking to get clicks from the reunion tour, takes that line from geoff’s article and runs with it. they do some half-assed internet sleuthing and release a long form article about “the secret punk-rock romance that was” - the article doesn’t make huge waves until we pick it up and start talking about it. we accidentally trend it on twitter. frank comes online and sees it, and has a meltdown about it. @’s the tabloid that published it, and makes a ‘joke’ about why don’t we talk about his crush on laura jane grace instead of rehashing old bullshit rumours.

3. LJG see’s frank’s meltdown tweets, and replies to the one about his crush on her with “awww thats cute”. frank tweets “jesus fucking christ”, sets his pfp to black, and goes offline for a month. - a small amount of discourse about whether it’s now okay to talk about frank/laura since he “”””canonically”””” has a crush on her. that dies down quickly, however.

4. with the tour several months away, people start talking about what the old band members might be doing now - since geoff mentioned otter a lot in his article. a member of mcr stan twitter ‘does some digging’ and leaks the exactly work location and home address of Otter. - drama about how doxxing people isnt okay, especially if they haven’t done anything wrong. somebody tries to visit Otter’s work and gets arrested. this goes down in fandom history alongside the taylor swift fan who went to prison because she refused to fight in the IDF.

5. frank comes back to twitter to promo MCR’s new merch line. it’s not new merch. it’s a bunch of rare bullets/revenge merch that they have started printing again. the t-shirts START at $75 because they are ‘collectors items’. - people try to cancel mcr for selling merch. this splits the fandom in two for several weeks.

6. the fandom gets over the merch argument because the MCR account publishes a photo set of ‘aesthetic photos’ that seem to largely revolve around southern gothic imagery. we debate HEAVILY over whether this is signaling for a new era. - drama about whether or not mcr are “appropriating southern gothic imagery” because none of them are from the south. the answer seems to be collectively no, but some fans from the south are really pressed about it still.

7. new era aesthetic argument dies because gerard releases a new set of soundcloud songs. most of them are just noise, except one or two that seem to be him playing the banjo. in the description of the banjo song, he writes a length paragraph about how this set of songs was inspired by characters he ‘really sees himself in”. this becomes known as the official gerard way kin list. - with the tour only weeks away, people are furious at gerard for releasing new solo music and not talking about mcr at all. also, we argue about whether or not kinning is problematic.

8. new grant morrison interview where they talk briefly about their past collaborations with gerard, as well as their friendship. they call gerard their “artistic, platonic, and sexual soulmate”. they do not address it further than that. - online meltdown mode. people start arguing about whether now its okay to ship grant/gerard since its “””canon””. this brings back up the LJG/Frank argument.

9. tour starts, and mcr does a new interview. within the course of the interview “the secret punk-rock romance that was” gets brought up. gerard gives a line about political statements that are no longer needed, and frank refers to himself as an ex-bisexual when the interviewer (who is a #woke twitter blue check, for some reason) presses about whether or not they were “undeservingly reclaiming public acts of homosexual affection” by doing that. - people try to cancel frank for calling himself an ex-bisexual. other people argue that you cant cancel him for that because ‘its a valid identity”

10. the used are opening for mcr on tour. the day after the ex-bisexual interview goes live, bert joins mcr onstage for prison and kisses gerard square on the mouth. the next night, during the used’s set, bert makes a statement about how you can’t outgrow a vital part of you. - this restarts the used vs. mcr fan drama. this continues for the rest of the year, and is spurred on by frank occasionally vague tweeting bert.

11. the night after bert’s speech, frank goes super hard during prison and smashes pansy again. - people are deeply upset by this. frank also throws out his back by doing so and has to do the next week of shows mostly sitting down. (if you’re playing along at home, this is our first BINGO)

12. ray, completely unaware of why frank is going super hard during prison the night he smashes pansy, joins in on the fun by whipping his shirt off. this reveals his secret supposed horror movie themed chest piece. - somehow, there are barely any pictures of it, and all the ones that do exist are grainy as fuck. subsequent drama about whether its okay to want better pictures of it, because clearly if ray wanted us to see it, we would have known about it already.

13. jeffrey star attends an mcr show, and is kicked out for trying to get backstage. there are MANY photographs about him being escorted off the premises. - people dont understand why jeffrey star was at an mcr show. this brings TWMHC back into public consciousness.

14. with several smaller news outlets doing pieces about JS getting kicked out of an mcr show, and one doing a piece about TWMHC (which is basically just a plagarized LJ primer), Eliza Cuts see’s her chance and tries to professionally publish The Black Pajama Party. - she is immediately cancelled for this, gets her fit tea spon’s revoked, and people bring up the fake baby discourse again.

15. the fake baby discourse dies down because Ray announces that he had another child. - this leaves us all wondering how many children ray actually has.

16. gerard comes on stage one night with what seems to be a new hair color. people debate about whether he actually dyed it, until somebody leaks a picture of him backstage and his hair is clearly a plum color. it lasts two weeks, no other photos are ever seen of it, and then he shaves his head. - fans try to cancel people for being ageist when they say they don’t like the shaved head.

17. people stop caring about gerard’s hair when he tweets for the first time in five years. it’s a link to a webpage that is just an embedded youtube video. its a new mcr song. It Is Not Good. it has Nothing to do with the weird southern gothic moodboard from months ago. - some of us start referring to this new song as sing 2, other people are mad at people for wanting new music and then criticizing the music we do get. (this is our second and third BINGO)

18. gerard responds to a #SING2 tweet, saying that he considers “all of mcr’s other songs completely inferior to Sing.” he never tweets again. - there is a trending topic on twitter for the next two days that is #RESPECTGERARD. (fourth BINGO)

19. the MCR twitter posts another cryptic link. its a release date. it’s tomorrow. its a new album. its actually good. everybody is surprised. - discourse about how if you didn’t like the first single, or were mean to gerard when he returned to twitter, you shouldnt even be listening to the new album because you clearly don’t care about the band. (fifth and sixth BINGO)

20. tour is about halfway done. gerard makes an instagram post that is a picture of a lighter, a pen, and a lyric sheet on a table in the tour bus. the caption is a mile long and he waxes lyrical about dreams he’s had, and fake memories, and about how you shouldn’t raise things from the dead - they never come back the same. it is very obviously about how he hates being in mcr again. - people get SO mad at gerard. like SO mad. frank subtweets gerard about it. the next night on stage is weird and tense. (seventh BINGO)

21. Somebody fills in for Mikey one night on stage. People are confused, but figure he’s just sick. There continues to be a stand-in. People keep tweeting the members about it. Finally, mikey posts an IG story saying he’s left the tour to be with his family. - people are kind of annoyed, discourse about how you cant expect all the members to be at the reunion tour even though that was what was advertised and sold to you.

22. bob dies. somebody uncovers the obit while doing some googling. frank posts a RIP 🙏 post for him. - people get mad at frank for making an RIP post for a racist. a mild amount of discourse about whether or not it’s okay to make fun of bob now that he’s dead (it is.) (eighth BINGO)

23. tour ends. frank publishes a blog post on the website saying they have broken up again, and this is the true end of MCR. all the members start passive aggressively blaming one another whenever possible. its ugly. one of them leaks their 2013 breakup texts. its even UGLIER. - we all are very very sad, and then go back to passing around pictures of the permanent committee of special boys and ignoring what happened. (ninth and tenth and final bingos)

#under cut bc its very long #does this ... does this count as fan fic?#idk. i consider it a prophecy<3

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slapshot-to-the-heart · 4 years

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Flatbush & Atlantic: part vi

Part vi is here! As always, I love hearing any kind of feedback, so reblogs and inboxes are so welcome!

part i part ii part iii part iv part v

part vi

January 30

Cass was distracted as she walked into the arena, distracted as she found Mat’s family, and distracted as she sat down. Fiona’s words were weighing on her, and she didn’t know what to do about them. It didn’t help that she hadn’t seen Mat since that morning, he had press and practice and some fan stuff with the league. It was maybe ten minutes before puck drop, and Cass didn’t know where her head was at. She was picking at a loose thread on the hem of her jersey when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she was surprised to see that it was his mom.

“Are you okay, love? You look distracted.” She asked, concern clear on her face.

“Yeah?” Cass responded, almost like a question.

Nadia gave her the “mom” look, the kind that pierces through your soul and knows all of your secrets. “I know you don’t know me all that well and I won’t make you talk about it if you don’t want to, but I can tell something’s on your mind, Cassidy. And I have a feeling it has to do with my son.”

Cass let out a defeated sigh. “Yeah. It’s just...everything’s piling on top of each other, and it’s hard to sort out what’s important and what’s just...static, if that makes sense.”

She nodded wisely. “What kind of things?”

“Outside opinions on us, on Mat and I’s relationship. People thinking that they have a right to make a judgement one way or another. People thinking that I don’t belong here, or with him, because of who I am, and how I look, and what I do.” Cass paused from her monologuing for a moment. “And it’s not always done out of spite. I’ve got a friend at school who just texted me basically asking if I’m sure that my priorities are in the right place. And I know she means well, she’s a wonderful person, but it’s just…” She trailed off.

“Tiring,” Nadia supplied. Cass nodded. “Well,” she began, “Obviously I’m not an expert. I’ve never been in a relationship with a professional athlete, and I’m not you. But I know what pressure feels like, and I know Mat.” Cass gave a watery chuckle. “And I know that my son is head over heels for you. He thinks the world of you, he really does.”

“But, all due respect, it’s not like I’m his first girlfriend or anything.”

“True,” she started carefully, “but I’ve also never seen him like this. I won’t insult your intelligence and say that there haven’t been other girls, because there have, but he’s never been this wholeheartedly invested in someone before. Did you know that you’re the first one he’s introduced us to since he moved to New York?”

Cass shook her head. “No, I didn’t. He never told me.”

“And why would he? Mat’s a good man and he’s got a good heart, but sometimes he can be remarkably dense. Doesn’t always notice what’s right in front of him.”

“Believe me, I’ve noticed that much,” Cass said, laughing.

Her thumb ran across Cass’s shoulder. “I guess this all just goes to say that you’ve got to talk to him. He cares about you, a lot. He’ll listen. And if he doesn’t, you send him to me, okay?”

Cass smiled. “I will.” The players had just come out, and the anthems were about to start. Cass rose from her seat, hand over her heart and Mat on her mind.

The score at the ten-minute mark was 3-3, and Cass had to constantly stop herself from chewing her nails down to nubs. The 3-on-3 format made it easier to keep track of the puck, but there was so much open space on the ice it was sometimes impossible to tell where the players were trying to go in the first place. There were three minutes left, and Mat had just nabbed a pass from Konecny. Skating down the ice, he caught a breakaway. Faked to his left, skated to the right, and poked it right past Vasilevsky in the far corner. Half of the arena exploded, half sunk to their seats and groaned. Cass cheered loudly, cupping her hands around her mouth and hugging the rest of the family. He skated over to the side, hi-fiving the guys on the bench before taking his seat for the next shift.

Metro division ended up winning 8-6, and Cass shot off a quick congratulations text to Mat, knowing that he probably wouldn’t be able to read it until after the final. She half-payed attention to the Western conference semifinal, only enough to know that the Pacific division won. She couldn’t even say by how much.

The final was close, much closer than the first game had seemed, with no more than a single goal separating the two teams at any time. Late in the game, it looked like the Metro team would be able to run away with it, but Tkachuk sniped from the blue line, pulling Pacific ahead and giving them the win. She followed his family down to the hall where everyone was waiting, internally cringing at the thought of how Mat might be taking the loss. He had gotten better, a lot better, after they had made it clear that communication was a priority and something that needed to be worked on in their relationship, but he wasn’t perfect, and neither was she.

So needless to say, she was more than a little surprised when he came out of the locker room with a smile on his face, embracing his family and giving her a kiss on the head. The group walked outside as they said their goodbyes — Mat’s family had an early flight back, Miami to Vancouver wasn’t exactly an in-demand route — and Mat’s sister hugged Cass, turning to her brother after and sternly telling him “don’t screw this up. She’s way too good for you.”

It was pretty late, and a beautiful night, and most of the fans had left, so Cass and Mat walked hand-in-hand back to the hotel. “What’s on your mind, pretty girl?” Mat murmured. So I guess we’re going to have this conversation now, Cass thought, on the sidewalk in an Islanders jersey in the middle of Sunset, Florida.

“You really can read me like a book, can’t you?” Cass asked softly.

Mat shrugged. “That, and the fact that you keep glancing between me and the street. Might have been a little bit of a giveaway.”

“The interview from the other day’s been on my mind. I know it seems kind of stupid and childish, but it’s getting to me. What he said about me not being a ‘typical’ hockey girlfriend.”

“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Mat said dismissively.

“I know that, you know that, but it’s the perception, Mat. Either that I don’t support you or your career because I have my own things to deal with sometimes, or that I don’t occupy the ‘place’ I should by pursuing education and a career. By pursuing a male-dominated career, especially. I’m worried I don’t…” She took a breath. “I’m worried I don’t live up to the expectations everyone’s setting for me.” Cass was annoyed, not at Mat or at the interviewer, even, but at the situation. At the thought that she had to continually prove to people that she was enough and she had earned her place.

“Fuck expectations,” Mat said abruptly. “I want you. All of you.” He stopped for a moment. “I’m so, so proud of you. I know I’ve said it already, and I hope you don’t get tired of hearing it, because it’s true. You have this incredible future ahead of you, and you’ve worked so hard to get to where you are. Everyone sees it. You’re going to do such good work, whether it’s bailing dumbass hockey players out or defending immigrant kids. You’re made for this.” Cass had gone into law school thinking she wanted to go into immigration law, motivated in no small part by the fact that Alejandra, her best friend down in Texas, was a DACA recipient. She had legal status for the time being, but it broke her heart to think that she could be forced out of the only country she had ever known. And when Cass was pissed off about something, she wasn’t the type to keep her mouth shut.

“People will want to write you off,” he continued, “because maybe they’ve never seen anyone do what you do, but that just makes it all the more incredible and impressive that you are able to do it. To have it all.”

Cass let out a humorless laugh. “Have it all, sure.”

“What else happened?” Mat asked, getting the sense that there was still something she was holding back. And he was right.

“Fiona sent this text checking up on me,” Cass said, not quite sure where to start.

Mat’s eyebrows furrowed. “But isn’t that good? That she wanted to catch up?”

“I mean, it would be,” Cass sighed, “but she was saying without saying it that she’s not sure my priorities are in the right place since I’ve started seeing you. Almost like you’re...I don’t know. Distracting me from school or something.”

“But—” She cut him off.

“Don’t be mad at her. She means well, I know she does,” Cass replied sharply. Even frustrated, she was still protective of her friends. “And she’s right in the fact that I’ve had more things taking up my time now, and maybe I’m not spending quite as much time at school or the library or wherever as I used to. But that’s fine. Right? Because I’ve been working hard, and I’m still getting good grades but this is making me worried that everything I’m working so hard for isn’t going to pan out—”

“Are you happier?” Mat asked abruptly.

Cass turned to him, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Are you happier now than you were before we met?” She could see his Adam’s apple bobbing. He was nervous. Mat had taken a gamble asking her the question, and he wasn’t sure of the answer.

“I am,” she said softly.

Mat squeezed her hand. “Then what else really matters?”

They arrived back at the hotel some twenty minutes later, dropping their bags on the floor and grabbing a change of clothes. There was a party at a bar downtown, and everyone was invited. By everyone, that meant all the players and whoever they decided to bring along. “I don’t actually know who booked the place,” Mat said, pulling one leg through a pair of black jeans. “Segs, maybe?” Out of anyone she had met that weekend, Tyler Seguin renting out a bar would surprise her the least. It was kind of sweet, she thought, zipping up her ankle boots, that the teams could check each other on the ice and then go celebrate together after. Being in the hockey world was really just like having a weird, dysfunctional family.

“You ready to go?” Cass asked, grabbing a jacket.

“After you,” Mat said, opening the door. They met a handful of others in the lobby, and the group grabbed a pair of Ubers over to the venue. It was packed by the time they got there, most of the players hanging out in the roped-off section towards the back. Mat helped her up, grabbing them a pair of what she’s pretty sure were whiskey sours, and introducing her to everyone they ran into. She couldn’t keep track of all the names, there was Nathan MacKinnon and Seth Jones and the Tkachuk brothers and a half dozen other players she didn’t recognize. “Please, for the love of God, shave the mustache,” she said to Auston, sipping her drink and staring at him judgily. “It’s not a good look.” He waved her off good-naturedly, and she smacked his shoulder as she walked back to Mat, wrapping her free arm around his front and kissing his shoulder.

“Let’s dance, chou,” Cass said, shucking off her jacket and leaving it on a spare chair. Mat smiled, taking her hand and guiding her out to the dance floor, where a mix of hockey and decidedly-not-hockey couples were gathered under the bright lights. Ah, sweat, the great equalizer.

“Do you think any of these Florida men are, you know, Florida Men?” Mat asked over the noise. Cass threw her head back laughing, remembering their first real conversation.

“Absolutely. We’re going to get pulled into their gator cult.”

It was Mat’s turn to laugh. “I’ll protect you.”

“I’m swooning,” Cass replied. “You’re my knight in shining armor, Mathew.”

Cass sat down her second drink of the night onto a nearby table, draping her arms around his neck. His hands snaked around her to the back of her waist, pulling her up against him, pulling her closer. She couldn’t even say what song was playing, some dance remix of a top-40 hit that the DJ in the corner was more than likely butchering, but she didn’t care. All she could think about was Mat’s hands on her and how he made her feel. For once in her life, Cass felt like she didn’t have any pressing responsibilities. For one night, she didn’t have the weight of the world on her shoulders. She was 24, and she was going to party like she was 24.

Cass leaned up to Mat, kissing him, whimpering when his tongue slipped between her lips. In a normal context, Cass never would have done something like that in public, and maybe it was the alcohol talking, but she finally couldn’t care less what people thought of them. “I don’t think the girls behind us know I speak Spanish,” she murmured, his face still so close she could feel him breathing, “because they’re all talking about how hot you are.” Mat laughed, letting his hands down a little more than was respectable. “Soy mexicana, hablo español,” she said over her shoulder, raising one eyebrow as the girls blushed and hurried off. “Now where were we?”

They kissed for what felt like hours, until her lips were starting to get puffy and she needed to come up for air. “I’m going to get another drink. You want anything?”

“Gimlet?” Mat asked hopefully, giving Cass a peck on the cheek as she made her way to the bar. Waiting among the throngs of people vying for the bartender’s attention, she threw her hair up in a high pony. It may have been January, but it was still Miami and they were still in a club — it was hot as hell. Five minutes later, she had finally shoved her way to the front, ordering Mat’s gimlet and a mojito for herself. Cass scrolled through her Instagram feed as she waited, sensing someone who she assumed was Mat off to her right side.

“Hey,” she said, looking up, expecting to see her boyfriend. It wasn’t her boyfriend. The men was a little taller than Mat, blond instead of brunet, and any other time, she probably would have been all over him. She wished she hadn’t started a conversation.

“Hey,” he said, resting an elbow on the bar. “What’s your name?”

“Cassidy,” she said, flashing him a tight smile. He didn’t deserve the nickname.

He nodded. “Cool, cool. That’s a beautiful name. I’m Justin. Can I buy you a drink?” He was clearly a few in himself, not enough to be drunk but more than enough to engage in a spectacularly poor decision-making process.

“I’ve already ordered one, thanks.” Cass was trying to negotiate, walking the fine line between politeness and interest, hating that she had to talk to someone she didn’t want to just in the interest of safety.

“You from the area?”

She had to stop herself from rolling her eyes, willing the bartender to come back with the drinks. “No, not really. Just visiting. Leaving tomorrow,” she said, hoping that that would be enough of a hint to get him off of her back. As it turned out, that would be simply too big of an ask.

“Then I guess we’ve got to make the most of tonight, huh?” Gross, she thought. She wasn’t leading him on, wasn’t doing anything more than making polite conversation so he wouldn’t get even more pissed at her, so what gave him the right?

“Listen, Justin,” she said, finally turning and facing him. “That’s not my style. And I have a boyfriend.”

He cracked a smile, clearly not buying it. As subtly as she could, she tried to find Mat, but she couldn’t. Maybe he had gone to the bathroom? And she didn’t want to leave without having gotten their drinks, cocktails didn’t come cheap and she didn’t want to throw her money away. “It’s okay, babe, you don’t have to play that game with me. He’s not here.”

“I’m not interested.”

“Hey, come on,” Justin said, inching closer and growing more aggressive by the second. “I was just trying to be nice. Don’t have to be such a bitch about it.” She took a deep breath, about to flag down the bouncer and tell her that this guy just wasn’t taking no for an answer, but she didn’t have to.

“What’s going on here?” That voice, she recognized. That voice was Mat. Cass let out a sign of relief, gladly moving to the side and letting Mat step in between them.

“This the boyfriend?” Justin asked with disdain.

Mat arched an eyebrow. “Yeah, I’m ‘the boyfriend,’ but it shouldn’t matter. She’s not interested, and you’re having trouble respecting that.”

Justin huffed. “Fine, She wouldn’t have been worth it anyway.” Cass had to grab Mat’s wrist to stop him from going after the guy.

“God, I wanted to punch that guy,” Mat said, running a hand through his hair and visually inspecting her. “You okay? Did he do anything?”

She shook her head. “No, thank God. A little shook up, but nothing serious. He just didn’t know how to take no for an answer.”

He kissed the top of her head, grabbing the drinks from the bartender, who had just slid them over. “You good to stay?” He wouldn’t have blamed her if she wanted to leave.

Cass shook her head. “No, I’m good. Liquor me up.”

“As you wish,” Mat said, handing her the glass.

The two made their way back to the cordoned-off section, where Cass downed the entirety of her mojito in under 10 minutes. She wasn’t in a sipping mood. Then someone from the Pacific Division — maybe they were on the Sharks? — bought the whole room a round, then she finished half of Mat’s Whiteclaw. Then somehow, she was goaded into body shots.

“You cool with this?” Mat asked as she scrambled up onto the table. Cass nodded quickly, trying to control her giggles.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good,” Cass said, scrunching the bottom of her shirt up, trying not to think about what her mom would think if she saw her right now.

Someone had obviously made a run to one of the bars, returning with a bowl of limes and a saltshaker. She tried not to think of how good it felt when his tongue ran over her stomach, licking up the salt, tried to distract herself when his head was ducked just above where her shirt barely covered her bra, throwing back the tequila, and definitely didn’t want to think about his lips just barely touching hers to grab the lime wedge. He threw away the wedge and bro-hugged a few of his onlooking friends, collapsing over Cass in laughter and kisses while he helped her off of the table.

A little under an hour and a few more drinks later, most of the group had finally decided to call it quits. To put it technically, everyone was shitfaced. A few people luckily still had the wherewithal to call Ubers, and they split up with Instagram handles written in eyeliner on hands to cars grouped by hotel. It was her, Mat, Seguin, and someone’s little sister packed into a white Honda Civic, Mat lazily kissing Cass’s neck, shoulder, anywhere he could reach. They tipped the driver — very well — before stumbling into the elevators, saying goodbye to Tyler, who was the floor below them. She barely managed to wipe off her makeup and brush her teeth before falling into bed with Mat, who immediately draped his arm over her waist and pulled her into his chest. Even drunk, she wasn’t complaining.

---

Jan. 31 (sun)

Cass groaned, her head pounding as she looked she rolled over in bed to grab her phone, looking at the time. 9:22. Great, their flight was at noon, so there wasn’t any time for self-pity before they needed to leave. Mat was up too, rubbing his eyes with a grump look on his face. He leaned over, giving her a kiss good morning. “How are you feeling, babe?” He asked. Mat’s head wasn’t hurting too bad — he knew he could hold his liquor just fine — but he had never seen Cass drink as much as she had last night.

“Ugh,” Cass moaned, pressing the heels of her hands to her temples. “It was so much fun, but I’m never doing that again. I don’t think I’ve been this hungover since the SAE color party junior year.”

“Oh yeah,” Mat mused, “I forgot you were a sorority girl,” he said in sing-song.

Cass huffed. “I was president, thank you very much.”

“Does my sorority girl need an Advil?” Mat asked.

“Your sorority girl will punch you if you keep saying that, but yes. Advil would be much appreciated.”

Mat padded away, returning from the bathroom a moment later with the bottle in his hand. He shook two out, grabbing her water bottle from the nightstand and unscrewing the cap. “Here you are.”

“Thank you,” Cass said, flashing him a small, begrudged, but genuine smile. “You’re really too good to me, Mat.”

He kissed her shoulder, pulling a t-shirt over his head. “You deserve it.”

---

Feb 13 (sat)

Cass’s hair was thrown up in a messy bun as she padded through the aisle of the grocery store. Shopping duties rotated every week, and it was her turn for errands. She handed her card over to the cashier, pulling out her bag-of-bags and beginning to separate. Fridge. Fridge. Pantry. Freezer. Pantry. Errands had always been somewhat of a soothing activity for her; Cass liked just being able to listen to her music and drive around and go into stores for a reason, not just to kill time. As much as she loved spending time with Mat and her roommates and her friends at law school, the constant human interaction could get draining sometimes, and the precious few free hours were alone time she craved. Loading all the bags into her trunk, she set off for the CVS. The bathroom was running out of soap, she needed a box of tampons, and she had gotten a call that the refill on her birth control was ready.

It was also the day before Valentine’s, which hadn’t always been the best time of year for Cass. It seemed like most of her Valentine’s Days had been filled with sitting alone in her room or binge-watching Bachelor reruns with friends. Or, in the case of her junior year of college, it was crying in her bedroom at the sorority house over the fact that Alex, her boyfriend of a year, had broken up with her two days prior because a relationship was just “too much work.” And Cass was all in favor of self-reflection, but that didn’t mean the rejection stung any less. They had been together for almost a year, and even though she had had other boyfriends before, he was the first one she loved, the first one she really saw a future with. So, needless to say, her track record wasn’t the best. Which she told Mat, that she didn’t want anything elaborate or extravagant, especially since he was leaving for a roadie the day after and would have to get up early.

But they say love makes people do crazy things. And Mat didn’t want her memories of a day that, commercialized as it was, was supposed to be about celebrating love and commitment and admiration for your partner. And anyone who knew Mathew Barzal knew that he was stubborn as hell with a heart of gold. But if Cass didn’t want anything big, he wasn’t going to do anything big; as much as he would have been absolutely willing to rent out the entire damn Empire State Building just to shout from the rooftops that he was absolutely, unequivocally in love with Cassidy María Cabrera Shaw, but her comfort came before anything. He’d bend over backwards to make her know how much he cared. But this was also Mat Barzal, and Mat Barzal never did anything halfway.

So it really wasn’t a surprise at all when, just as Cass pulled into her parking spot and killed the gas on her car that her phone lit up with a text from Mat. Picking you up at 5:30 tomorrow. Dress like you’re going to a diner.

#hockey imagine #hockey writing #nhl imagine #nhl writing #mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #mathew barzal #islanders #new york islanders #islanders imagines #islanders writing #nhl imagines #nhl #nhl fluff #hockey fluff #hockey imagines #hockey smut #nhl smut

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kingjasnah · 4 years

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Is there the full list of brandersons favourite games reposted somewhere?

i dont think so? or not that ive seen. u can literally just sign up for the newsletter on his website but screw it ill just post them for u. it sure was a TRIP scrolling past these to get to the interlude though. undertale is on this list.....im shakign at the thought that adolin was based off ff10 tidus but i cant get it out of my head now

#10: Katamari Damaci

I love things that make me look at the world in a new way. Katamari did this in spades. It is an imaginative, bizarre vision with unique gameplay. It is like nothing else in the world and I love it for all its strangeness and occasional lack of gameplay polish.

I was transfixed the first time I played it, and have looked forward to it being remade and rereleased on multiple different consoles. I love the cute—and somehow creepy at the same time—storyline. It feels like a fever dream more than a game sometimes, and is probably the closest I’ll ever get to understanding what it’s like to do drugs.

#9: Undertale

This is an oddball on this list because I think it’s the only game that is not a franchise from a major studio—but is instead an indie game, which I believe was originally funded on Kickstarter.I loved how this felt like a novel as much as a game. It was one person’s vision; a single story told really well, with a huge amount of personality. The humor was just my kind of wonderful/terrible, and I was instantly enamored with the characters.That probably would have been enough, but it is a nice deconstruction of video games as a medium—and has not one, but multiple innovative gameplay mechanics. Together, the package left me enamored. This is a work of genius that I feel everyone should at least try, even if it ends up not being for them.

#8: Fallout: New Vegas

I have played all of the core Fallout games, and I was one of the (it seems few) who was really excited when it moved from turn-based tactics to first-person shooter. While Fallout 3 was good, it didn’t have the charm of the first two.New Vegas delivered on everything I was hoping to see. The charm was back, the writing sharp, the quests imaginative. The gameplay was engaging and branched in a variety of directions, the gunplay was solid, and the atmosphere immersive. I of course love the first two games in the series—but New Vegas combines everything I like in gaming into one package. (As a note, I own the Outer Worlds, and am looking forward to digging into it. Consider this item on the list a recommendation of other Obsidian games—like Knights of the Old Republic Two—regardless of genre, as I’ve found them universally to be superior to their contemporaries.)

#7 Super Mario World

When I was eleven, I flew (alone, which was very exciting to me) from Nebraska to visit my uncle Devon in Salt Lake City. Before I left, my father gave me $200 and told me to pay for my own meals while on the trip—but of course, my uncle didn’t allow this. At the end of the trip, I tried to give him the money, which he wouldn’t take.I mentioned my dad would take the money back when I got home, but that was okay. Well, my uncle would have none of that, and drove me to the local mall and made me spend it on a Nintendo Entertainment System. (This uncle, you might guess, is an awesome human being.)Since that day of first plugging it in and experiencing Mario for the first time, I was hooked. This is the only platformer on the list, as I don’t love those. But one makes an exception for Mario. There’s just so much polish, so much elegance to the control schemes, that even a guy who prefers an FPS or an RPG like me has to admit these are great games. I picked World as my favorite as it’s the one I’ve gone back to and played the most.

#7: The Curse of Monkey Island (Monkey Island 3)

I kind of miss the golden age of adventure gaming, and I don’t know that anyone ever got it as right as they did with this game. It is the pinnacle of the genre, in my opinion—no offense to Grim Fandango fans.This game came out right before gaming’s awkward teenage phase where everything moved to 3-d polygons. For a while after, games looked pretty bad, though they could do more because of the swap. But if you want to go see what life was like before that change, play Monkey Island 3. Composed of beautiful art pieces that look like cells from Disney movies, with streamlined controls (the genre had come a long way from “Get yon torch”) and fantastic voice acting, this game still plays really well.This is one of the few games I’ve been able to get my non-gamer wife to play through with me, and it worked really well as a co-op game with the two of us trying to talk through problems. It’s a lovingly crafted time capsule of a previous era of gaming, and if you missed it, it’s really worth trying all these years later. (The first and second games hold up surprisingly well too, as a note, particularly with the redone art that came out a decade or so ago.)Also, again, this one has my kind of humor.

#6: Breath of the Wild

I never thought a Zelda game would unseat A Link to the Past as my favorite Zelda, but Breath of the Wild managed it. It combined the magic of classic gameplay with modern design aesthetic, and I loved this game.There’s not a lot to say about it that others haven’t said before, but I particularly liked how it took the elements of the previous games in the series (giving you specific tools to beat specific challenges) and let you have them all at once. I like how the dungeons became little mini puzzles to beat, instead of (sometimes seemingly endless) slogs to get through. I liked the exploration, the fluidity of the controls, and the use of a non-linear narrative in flashbacks. It’s worth buying a Switch just to play this one and Mario—but in case you want, you can also play Dark Souls on Switch... (That’s foreshadowing.)

#5: Halo 2

Telling stories about Halo Two on stream is what made me think of writing this list.I’m sometimes surprised that this game isn’t talked about as much as I think it should be. Granted, the franchise is very popular—but people tend to love either Reach or games 1 or 3 more than two. Two, however, is the only one I ever wanted to replay—and I’ve done so three or four times at this point. (It’s also the only one I ever beat on Legendary.)It’s made me think on why I love this one, while so many others seem to just consider it one of many in a strong—but in many ways unexceptional—series of games. I think part of this is because I focus primarily on the single-player aspects of a game (which is why there aren’t any MMOs on this list.) Others prefer Halo games with more balanced/polished multiplayer. But I like to game by myself, and don’t really look for a multiplayer experience. (Though this is changing as I game with my sons more and more.)I really like good writing—which I suppose you’d expect. But in games, I specifically prefer writing that enhances the style of game I’m playing. Just dumping a bunch of story on me isn’t enough; it has to be suited to the gameplay and the feel of the game. In that context, I’ve rarely encountered writing as good as Halo 2. From the opening—with the intercutting and juxtaposition of the two narratives—to the quotes barked out by the marines, the writing in this game is great. It stands out starkly against other Halo games, to the point that I wonder what the difference is.Yes, Halo Two is a bombastic hero fantasy about a super soldier stomping aliens. But it has subtle, yet powerful worldbuilding sprinkled all through it—and the music...it does things with the story that I envy. It’s kind of cheating that games and films get to have powerful scores to help with mood.The guns in Two feel so much better than Halo One, and the vehicles drive far better. The only complaint I have is that it’s only half a story—as in, Halo 2 and 3 seem like they were one game broken in two pieces. And while 3 is good (and Reach does something different, which I approve of in general) neither did it for me the way Two did, and continues to do.

#3: Final Fantasy X

You probably knew Final Fantasy was coming. People often ask if the way these games handle magic was an influence upon me. All I can say is that I’ve played them since the first one, and so they’re bound to have had an influence.On one hand, these games are really strange. I mean, I don’t think we gamers stop quite often enough to note how downright bizarre this series gets. Final Fantasy doesn’t always make the most sense—but the games are always ambitious.Ten is my favorite for a couple of reasons. I felt like the worldbuilding was among the strongest, and I really connected with the characters. That’s strange, because this is one of the FF games without an angst-filled teen as the protagonist. Instead, it has a kind of stable happy-go-lucky jock as the protagonist.But that’s what I needed, right then. A game that didn’t give me the same old protagonist, but instead gave me someone new and showed me I could bond to them just as well. Ten was the first with full voice acting, and that jump added a lot for me. It has my favorite music of the series, and all together is what I consider the perfect final fantasy game. (Though admittedly, I find it more and more difficult to get into turn-based battle mechanics as I grow older.)

#2: Bloodborne

Those who follow my streams, or who read other interviews I’ve done, probably expected this series to be at or near the top. The question wasn’t whether Souls would be here, but which one to pick as my favorite.I went with Bloodborne, though it could have been any of them. (Even Dark Souls 2—which I really like, despite its reputation in the fandom.) I’ve been following FromSoftware’s games since the King’s Field games, and Demon’s Souls was a huge triumph—with the director Hidetaka Miyazaki deserving much of the praise for its design, and Dark Souls (which is really just a more polished version of Demon’s Souls).As I am a fan of cosmic horror, Bloodborne is probably my favorite overall. It really hit the mix of cosmic and gothic horror perfectly. It forced me to change up my gameplay from the other Souls games, and I loved the beautiful visuals.I am a fan of hard games—but I like hard games that are what I consider “fair.” (For example, I don’t love those impossible fan-made Mario levels, or many of the super-crazy “bullet hell”-style games.) Dark Souls is a different kind of hard. Difficult like a stern instructor, expecting you to learn—but giving you the tools to do so. It presents a challenge, rather than being hard just to be hard.If I have a problem with Final Fantasy, it’s that the games sometimes feel like the gameplay is an afterthought to telling the story. But in the Souls games, story and gameplay are intermixed in a way I’d never seen done before. You have to construct the story like an archeologist, using dialogue and lore from descriptions of in-game objects. I find this fascinating; the series tells stories in a way a book never could. I’m always glad when a game series can show off the specific strengths of the medium.In fact, this series would be #1 except for the little fact that I have way too much time on Steam logged playing...

#1: Civilization VI

This series had to take #1 by sheer weight of gameplay time. I discovered the first on a friend’s computer in the dorms my freshman year—and I can still remember the feeling of the birds chirping outside, realizing I’d been playing all night and really should get back to my own dorm room.That still happens, and has happened, with every game in the series. I have a lot of thoughts on this series, many of them granular and too specific for this list. (Like, it’s obvious AI technology isn’t up to the task of playing a game this complex—so could we instead get a roguelike set of modifiers, game modes, etc. to liven up the games, rather than just having a difficulty slider that changes a few simple aspects of the game?)I’ll try not to rant, because I really do love this game series. A lot of people consider IV to be the pinnacle of the series, but after V unstacked units—and VI unstacked cities—there was no way I could ever go back. If for some reason, you’ve never played this grand patriarch of the 4X game genre, it’s about starting with a single stone-age settler who can found a city—then playing through eras of a civilization, growing your empire, to try to eventually get offworld with a space program. (Or, if you prefer, conquering the world.)It’s a load of fun in the way I like to have fun, and I feel like the series has only gotten better over the years. My hat is off to the developers, who keep reinventing the series, rather than making the exact same game over and over.Now, about that request for difficulty modes...

there are runner ups but for the sake of anyone whos on mobile and cant get past a read more (first of all omg im SO sorry) ill refrain. anyway he thought WHAT loz game was the best before botw?

#mix between HARDCORE judgement and like. yea. yea ff10 was pretty good wasnt it #but i dont think its anywhere near the best of them #long post #im read mores dont work imm so fucking sorry this is so long #MOST of these games are good its just so wild its so wild its SO wild #asks #Anonymous

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doakaptan · 4 years

Text

finally, ive lost the plot (and became the main character so here is an episode from the 19th season)

Before you start getting into this week’s blog, I must warn you that this is mostly me recounting our never-ending slow-burning two days of spring break alongside my longing for Stardew valley while I prepare for the Tableau Vivant project.

So when I was informed about the spring break, I thought I’d be able to at least sleep in for once and play a few games I tossed aside to focus on the second semester. (Mind you, It has been exactly 120 days since I played Stardew Valley for the last time and, my mental health has been gradually deteriorating ever since). Even though I’ve been studying here for a while, I looked over the fact that Bilkent never sleeps and successfully suppressed the upcoming projects in my mind.

I surpassed it to the point where I mindlessly traveled to my hometown and set up my monitor without a care to the outside world. I would probably not have cared if the house was burning down as long as I got to play Stardew Valley. I was peacefully tending my crops that were made out of 3 pixels at most when it dawned on me that I had yet to choose a painting for the tableau vivant project. I already had a few paintings in mind so it was not that much of a hassle to choose out of the ones I picked.

WelI, I was so sure that Rene Magritte’s Portrait of Stephy Langui wouldn’t get picked that I didn’t mentally prepare myself to create such set.

First of all, I am aware that we kinda had 21 days to prepare and shoot the footage but, hello this is Bilkent and I like making everything hard for myself so I had 2 midterms to attend, a few interviews aligned and a lot of hearts to steal. So yeah I did not work for 21 days straight (it would probably be better for my mental health if I did but I digress).

So yeah here I am in the middle of a breakdown because I realized that I have only a week left to prepare for a piece like this and I did not find a way to achieve the perspective or make the people or find a model. At that point I did not have anything but my phone and oh- ITS CAMERA IS BROKEN. I did what a mentally okay and ready person would do and cried for a whole day until it backfired and determination bloomed in the pits of my stomach. I was also playing Stardew Valley during my mental breakdown so I knew exactly how long I cried until I passed out.

Here’s my wedding in the game. I was in the middle of the introduction when I passed out so I kinda missed the entirety of it but at least I have a picture of my last sane moment.

While I was unconscious I had this weird dream about the game’s carpenter (which is funnily enough the mother of the npc I married). She told me that I was good at making wooden furniture and if I were to focus on it for the project I would have a solid starting point. My father told me the same thing a few days prior but, he is not a hardworking carpenter nor my game husband’s mother so I had no reason to listen to him.

(Also a little background information about me for contextual reasons: I am good at wood work because at one point, out of sheer frustration at the interior design and architecture department here (eskişehir) I started making couches and mini-sets out of wood.)

I woke up the next day knowing what I was going to do.

I had exactly 6 days to make up for all the procrastinating I’ve done so the first thing I did in when I woke up was to go out and look for a rock. It had been non-stop raining for 2 days and when I went outside the rain became even worse than it was before. So I did the obvious thing and dove into the muddy field of a random construction. The rock is great though I’m glad I was Shrek enough to find it.

Also here is a picture of the dogs that watched me find my inner Shrek:

The rock was the hardest part to get it right in my opinion so I the rest came naturally. I messaged a friend who I thought would be perfect to hang from a ladder for a few times for 1.30 minutes. She happily agreed and even went as far as to study the make up and hair of the women.

So, I only had the set and the two figures left to create. I went to my father’s workplace and used their materials for the greater good. Like I mentioned I’m good with woodwork so once I got the size of my model’s head I was unstoppable. I finished the set-piece under 2 hours and went home to make the figures.

Everything came out nicely with 4 days remaining and I thought I was really done with everything.

but the thing is.... I forgot the weather......

and the non-stop rain was not going to stop because I had a project I guess..

Anyways, I was mentally too deranged to care and ‘borrowed’ an Apple monitor from a university I cannot name in case of them finding me (I will return it when I’m done being sad over being poor thank you).

Here is the test shot:

It looked fine to me so I looked over the fact that my camera was broken and got to work with 2 days remaining and all the lectures fully back in action....

This project was more stressful then I imagined but I loved working on it regardless. I wonder if I would feel more at ease if I had an actual camera and not a malfunctioning broken phone camera but I digress. If I can kind of hopefully make it work on a broken camera I think I can keep up the will to work.

The search for the paintings were a lot of fun too. I’m really interested in surrealism and overly weird settings so I was happy this was picked for the project. Hopefully I learned my lesson and in the future remember it well enough to not make a model loosely hang onto a ladder for dear life and risk a lawsuit...

For future reference... crying and… stardew valley.......helps...... a lot…. 8/10….would recommend..... also.....would recommend........ crying enough to pass out and have a enlightening conversation with a 3 pixel carpenter.

#i went wayyy over the wordcount #are we surprised tho #anyways #im the main character #so here is an episode from my show #tableau vivant

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shytiff · 4 years

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Jan 2021 Wins

ive “journaled” for 6 months now. it started as small ___ wins because when you feel rly empty, even doing the bare minimum feels like a win. written down some of the wins. i think until now i’d like to keep the “win” part. a win against my shadow sometimes. a win in life. some things to be grateful for. a win for remembering it later in the future. i know some days im just basically doing nothing. there are a lot of wars not won by me. but im still tryna ✨manifest✨

1 - woke up. watched bts’ 2021 seasons greetings. read trap city. afternoon nap. pupuy’s mbah passed away. i got DOMS in my body even though i did the barest of exercise yesterday (frail, i know). shower, matcha latte.

2 - the x banner atikah and i sent for racil post thesis defense has arrived lmaoo. mom made delicious (and sweet) fried banana. did some studying (more than usual, bcs the bar is on the floor)

3 - ate muesli, 3 risols. Kopsus coklat at flavola. Stayed there from 12-ish to 17:30 lmaooo. weekly bahas soal w/ fi. Rapat nemo

4 - first day of collab module. Barely cicil ukmppd. My mood is normal-ish but i hardly have the will to study. Dinner is fried fish with mentai sauce, potato wedges, and saladdd by mom

5 - collab module, qa presentation for rsui reps. finished reviewing tryout 2 solid. did padi pretest (got 66,5). ate chicken porridge, a bit of muesli and vsoy, tan ek tjoan bread, matcha latte, fish and chicken and potato wedges and salad, fried banana. i ate well today lol.

6 - slept during collab webinar, went to clara’s place to study osce and attended padi together. i ate well at clara’s placeee lol. ate nastar, kusuka, white kwetiaw with soup (?), and lele goreng. went back home @ 9 pm. i feel refreshed. even though we’ve half studied half mukbang all day. human interaction rly does heal me. i need human interaction more than i think. at night i dreamed about going to bali, to waterparks, seeing sea creatures, watching a movie displayed on a concert-like stage and screen at the front row.

7 - woke up at 07:55, finished my part for collab group work. felt a bit tired today. the rest of fam went to DM, and when they were on the way back i HURRIED my way out, not even taking a shower lmaoo. got pistachio matcha latte at starbucks dm. now im more skilled in searching the best spot in a cafe to distance myself from people lmao. the matcha latte is served with some sort of pistachio cream and sprinkled with nuts on top. its like when sbux had taro matcha latte and it had purple cream on top. the pistachio taste is quite strong. reviewed TO 1 padi, sent proposals for nemo sponsorship.

8 - did syndrome try out and padi 2 web try out. studied for osce and padi @ clara’s place. wanted to order pizza since clara bought me food before, but she insisted in ordering lmaoo. so dinner is pizza hut

9 - woke up at 11.00 lmao. havent had breakfast. lunch is muesli with the brand new delishhh chocolate granola and cimory banana milk. did one shot try out, got 71. had a google meet with Prof Agus (that ethics book ghostwriting job from a year ago is not finished until now huaaa) that went from 20.00ish and finished at 22.30,,,,, reviewed syndrome try out along the way. havent made my collab self reflection hhhh. i also need to study for osce. also havent edited article for bukang solid. and there goes my saturday nooo

10 - i swear i keep waking up late lmao. Flavola w atikah, racheel later came with wawa. Kopsus coklat and ukmppd class w dr yudo. After class i just talked at flavola (and ended not studying osce at all for sunday). Went to racheel's to pray and talk some more. Hurriedly went back for booty call with fi, watched konser dies natalis first. Tryout and sum study with fi and clar that went from 20:30 to 00:10. Powered by left over kopsus and 2 snackit pia. Rip my sleeping schedule

11 - woke up at 10:30 ish, the lack of meal and horrible sleep pattern (for my standard) produced stuffy nose during the day and a bit of headache that went away for a bit after i ate. Late bfast is muesli, drank protein, ate tan ek tjoan, plus 2 brownies in the evening. Tht coaching w dr niken. Did self reflection for collab. Had dinner without rice, as usual. Ukmppd class w dr ayu. Finished reflection at 21:30 lmao (deadline is 23:55). Tryna sleep and my nose is still itchy and i sneeze a more often. i hope it goes away 2mrw

12 - DV coaching, scele tryout, took a nap before padi cause my head kind of hurts. Les padi while drinking matcha with vsoy less sugar and no added sugar. I can withstand the horrible sugarless cy matcha taste bcs theres a taste of soy. Didnt do anything else. Havent studied osce on my own until now. Astagfirullah

13 - my head still kind of aches. Its goes away when im eating. im eating so well during the weekdays that i gained 2kgs lmao. lazed around the first half of the day. padi. finally tried saint matcha and damnn its an amazing upgrade from Cy matcha. the green color is super different yall. Cy’s green looks sick and tired compared to saint matcha. the taste? immaculate (although coco deli is more fragrant). caffeine? hits. awake and feel normal? yes. messaged an ao3 author and got replied and turns out she’s making a sequel for my fav fic of hers. yay

14 - osce practice w ara ren ness. bedah and anak osce coaching. had 3 of mom’s cinnamon rolls and matcha latte for the afternoon. cicil osce DV. edited some pld articles. did nothing else basically

15 - wasted my day, didnt have the courage to study osce (i feel like i procrastinate on it bcs it feels overwhelming to me), TO FKUI 2, hurriedly reviewed to 1 before, les padi. i feel like this is the least focused im being in a les. maybe its the too few matcha powder.

16 - woke up at 9 am. breakfast is muesli. reviewed to 2 fkui w apa salahku (finished at 12 pm, there goes half of my saturday). tried fried chicken master. its good and tender but i still prefer moon chicken.

17 - breakfast is muesli, banana and 2 martabak tahu. snack is keripik pisang aduuu wenak (and picking bits of meat cooked by mom). went to devi’s place w/ racheel silvi. brought RJ to be wrapped. we watched okay madam and its super fun, hilarious and full of twists anddd a bit of cutesy romance. just the right balance to enjoy and let the stress out. late lunch is moon chicken yay!! went home after maghrib, did to padi 6 w/ fi and matcha latte. talked about a senior’s wedding and eating healthier til 22:30

18 - To fkui 3, wasted my afternoon playing my phone, finally mustered some will to study after ashar. My progress is rly slow today. Watched hilarious jessi interview with eric, heechul. Im telling u, i thought tiktok is the funniest internet content but i was wronggg. Seeing heechul flustered is hilarious. Tried to study again at night but only learned 1 disease hiks

19 - had no idea what i did before dzuhur lmao. went to racheel’s to surprise atikah. actually napped at her place lmaoo why do i feel so sleepy. gifted rj to atikah. we ate fried chicken master and pempek on a small green table and talked. its like korean movie lmao. we talked while im simultaneously listening to padi lol.

20 - woke up at 8, chicken porridge + muesli and low sugar vsoy for breakfast. arrived at clara’s @10am. to fkui 4. reviewed it. reviewed general physical exam. finished up to padi 7. tried bombo donut. studied osce. i felt sooo dumb in osce (and clara is already super smart). superrr motivated to learn after going back home (arrived at 7) but i ended up opening youtube and drinking protein lmaooo and its suddenly 9 pm

21 - matcha latte at starbucks dm. Studied osce. Obgyn coaching w the super kind dr ilham. Les padi. Read angel buddy and played with my phone til 12 pm

22 - to fkui. padi as usual. had low motivation, so i did the tryout that day close to the actual course.

23 - left home at 06:30 to study together in capitol. had breakfast in mcd first. thank god i ate rice + chicken and breakfast wrap cuzzzz. studied osce together w ara, ical, kelvyn, dio and kak ilonka til about 2 pm. WALKED to bk bcs my parents are there. apparently simply driving to capitol is too much for them. immediately ate muesli at 4 pm cause i didnt eat anything in capitol. did nothing else after that. did not pray maghrib together lmao somehow mom had mercy on me and let me sleep som more. mom bought sate padang but i didnt eat it. i cried in bed because as yoongi said, “this is the real you and this is the real me”. did not shower/wash my face at night bcs i felt like shit lmao rip my face (its a week before bukang photoshoot)

24 - i feel tired, lazy, and just wanted some sleep. like all that’s in me is drained. ate muesli with strawberry milk. tried fitmee beef. its better than i thought. because the noodle is chewy you spend more time to chew. also ate fried chicken and daun singkong. usually i cant wait to go to flavola but even at 12 pm i just feel like laying down. finally mustered the will to shower and go out. its raining a bit on the way. colddd.

25 - to fkui 6, osce briefing, covid lecture (that was actually for ppds), padi

26 - spaghetti for brekkie, coaching neuro and ophthalmology, cicil osce

27 - cicil osce, the second to the last padi omg. the fastest padi ever

28 - obgyn osce practice at kak ilonka’s place (that nice kosan at forkabi) with ara, ren ness, kelvyn, dio with mannequins from og dept, tried meokja salemba that serves bulgogi rice. quite good. after arriving at home, studied neuro together with menno til about 20:45 an and i just dont have the energy lmaooo so i gave up and slept

29 - today is bukang photoshoot at bintaro. put base make up on the way. even put glue on my eyebrow. got eyebrow, eyeshadow and blush done by renata. took lots of photos. nebeng om coro afterwards to bxc to meet mom. we ate at genki sushi (renata ara kris mendel oca regan geordie eka). i missss road trips hua. did tryout fkui on the way back home. after shower and prayer proceeded to review TO with apa salahku. Last padi (havent done the questions beforehand so i sprinted it out while on the actual course). Muhasabah osce with kak widia afterwards lmao. Studied osce with clara

30 - studied osce with ara ren ness @ merra. I ate eatlah, moms muffin, kemplang, tango. I ate so welll. Its a productive sesh, neuro and infectious disease. At home i studied osce w clara til abt 22:15 ish. I feel like i miss my me time lmao its been 3 days. I can still go on w clara but i dont wanna get myself sick

31 - simul osce in the morning. Osce study with clara almira. Cicil osce alone. Played my phone at 10 pm even though i still have mental clarity post matcha latte -___-

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freddiesaysalright · 5 years

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Peace Like a River Part 6

A Gwilym Lee x Reader Story

Summary: Reader is a stand up comic with a pretty dark past. She has a three new lights in her life: her daughter, Violet; her anonymous correspondent, Dear Friend; and Gwilym Lee.

Word Count: 3.7K

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @simmisblog, @assembledherethevolunteers, @lookuptotheskiesandsee, @readinghorn, @riddikuluslypotter, @doingalrightt, @misslolasworld, @lemurian-starship, @ravenedges-lies, @painkiller80, @imgonnabeyourslave, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @ixchel-9275, @sincerelygmg If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: The dramaaaaaa! Also a little warning for this chapter! Mentions of abuse and sexual assault please take care loves :)

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V

Part 6 here we go!!!

You answered the letter promptly. You assured him it was fine and said something rather vague about meeting up again sometime. It was a relief to have things back to normal. Well, normal for you. The letters were mostly the same. Plus, you and Gwilym were maintaining a relationship that made you incredibly happy. When your tour lined up with his, you always met up and did something. Whether it was dinner, taking Violet to the park, or just grabbing a quick cup of coffee between interviews.

Violet absolutely adored Gwilym. You were sure the feeling was mutual, as he indulged her every whim. He played any game she wanted, and did whatever she said. It was very sweet. You assured him that he didn’t have to - he could tell her no, but he only gave you an astonished look and continued to follow her orders.

One night, you were getting ready to go out to dinner and Gwilym was waiting for you in your room. You were putting the last touches on your makeup and he was entertaining Violet. You heard her shrieking with laughter and giggling wildly. Gwilym was laughing too and you wondered what they could possibly be doing to make all this noise.

You poked your head out and nearly snorted. Gwil was sitting on the floor at the end of the bed. Violet charged at him, grinning as she hurtled across the room. When she reached him, he took hold of her sides before launching her up in the air, over his head, and she landed with a squeal of joy on the bed behind him. She scrambled off the bed and came around to face him once more.

“Again, again!” she cried.

Her face was red from laughing and her hair was a mess from rolling around on the comforter.

“Alright, lovie, come on then,” he encouraged.

She ran. Up and over she went, with a scream of delight. This time, she lay on the bed a moment to catch her breath. You took this opportunity to end the game. You emerged from the bathroom as you put earrings in.

“Alright, Vi, that’s enough,” you said.

She rolled onto her knees and pouted at you. “But Mommy!”

“Not buts,” you returned. “You stay with Stacy and be a good girl for her.”

“But - but all she does is text her boyfriend!” she complained.

Stacy looked at you like a deer in headlights. You laughed.

“Relax, Stace, you can have a boyfriend,” you said. “Although, I didn’t even know you were dating!”

She chuckled. “It’s no big deal, really.”

“Well, I wanna know more, but we have a reservation,” you said, turning to Gwil. “You ready to go?”

He glanced between you and Violet, who’s lower lip was quivering. He looked conflicted and guilty. An amused smirk claimed your lips as you eyed him.

“Oh, you are such a sucker,” you teased.

“She looks so sad!” he returned.

“She’s faking it!” you shot back.

“Ahhhh!” Violet cried, running over and latching herself onto Gwilym’s leg.

She let out a soft moan and sniffle. You rolled your eyes. Gwilym looked at you and disbelief before lifting your daughter into his arms and hugging her close.

“Oh, you poor dear,” he cooed. “What a mean mummy you have!”

Your mouth fell open. “What?!”

“She’s so cruel to you,” he continued, ignoring you.

Violet nodded in agreement and you groaned.

“Alright, enough ganging up on Mommy,” you said. “Violet, Mister Gwilym will come and see you another time soon, okay? But we’re going to dinner and you’re staying with Stacy.”

“But -”

You cut her off. “No, ma’am. No arguments or you’re going to bed without dessert.”

She whimpered and buried her face in Gwilym’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, love,” he said gently. “But what Mummy says goes. And she’s right, I’ll come see you again soon.”

He carried her over to the bed and tried to set her down, but she clung to his neck.

“Violet!” you warned, shooting her a sharp look.

With another whine, she let go and shoved her face in the pillows. You heard her release a fake sob, and Gwilym shot you a horrified look. You shook your head.

“You’re a monster,” he whispered to you.

“She’s faking,” you repeated. “Look.”

You both turned eyes on your daughter and saw she had stopped “crying” and was peeking out from the pillows. When she saw you were watching she turned back and started the ruse again.

“You see?” you said, raising an eyebrow at him.

He chuckled. “Fine. But how do you know the difference?”

“Believe me, you know a real cry when you hear it,” you told him.

You both bid Stacy goodnight, and said goodbye to Violet, who ignored you. When you stepped out into the hall, Gwilym stopped you before you could continue toward the elevator. You furrowed your brow as you looked at him.

“You look beautiful,” he said simply.

You beamed. “Thank you.”

You walked together, hand in hand, to the restaurant. It was an upscale place (or you would have probably just taken Violet along) with a large wine menu and a bit of a romantic atmosphere. It really felt natural, like you were on a date with your boyfriend of many years. Yet, there was still a barrier. That fear of not being enough for him. And his ignorance about your correspondence.

You ordered and sipped your wine. You looked curiously at Gwilym.

“So, how are things with Dear Friend?” you asked, knowing the answer.

“Just fine,” he said assuredly. “I’m thinking of inviting her to London for Christmas.”

“That’s romantic,” you returned, trying to sound casual. You weren’t sure you’d be ready to reveal yourself by then.

“I thought so too,” he said with a smirk. “So, how are you planning on spending your holidays now that you’ve cut your family off?”

You shrugged. “I actually usually only went for Thanksgiving. Christmas is a day Violet and I spend together, just the two of us.”

“Well, perhaps you could come to London too,” he suggested. “I’d love to see you and I think you and Dear Friend would get along. You’re so alike.”

“You think so?” you asked, genuinely surprised. You felt like a completely different woman when you wrote to him as Dear Friend.

“Yes,” he said. “She’s not quite as funny as you, but you have similar opinions on things and the same values.”

“Interesting,” you said. “Although, I’m relieved to know that I'm the funniest person in your life.”

He chuckled. “Naturally. All the more reason to come to London. You can keep her amused when my wit fails me.”

“I’ll think about it,” you said.

It was an interesting idea. And you’d love to spend Christmas with Gwilym. Just the thought of it warmed you from the inside out. But, there was still the matter of Dear Friend.

Suddenly, he frowned at you. “What’s that?”

He pointed to a dark spot on your collar bone which you were normally careful to cover with clothes or makeup. Somehow, you’d forgotten. Instinctively, you moved to cover it with your hand.

“Nothing,” you lied.

“That embarrassing is it?” he joked.

“In a way, it is,” you said seriously.

He looked at you with understanding. “Henry?”

You nodded. Several jokes popped into your head that would get you out of this conversation were you in the company of literally anyone else. But you didn’t have to protect yourself from Gwilym.

“He burned me,” you said. “With a cigarette.”

“Jesus…” he breathed. “I’m so sorry.”

“That was the night Violet was conceived actually,” you went on, unsure why you were sharing this detail.

Outside of lying about his sexual prowess to Helen at the gala, you and Gwilym had not discussed anything regarding sex.

“Why did you -”

“I didn’t want to sleep with him,” you said, answering his question before he could finish. “But I was afraid if I didn’t, it would only be worse for me.”

“Can I ask you something deeply personal?” he wondered.

You met his gaze and nodded.

“Why did you wait so long to leave him?” he asked. “You were married to him for years. What finally pushed you to go?”

You took a deep breath. You hadn’t told this story to anyone.

“After a particularly brutal night, I ended up in the hospital,” you began. “A nurse came in and told me I was pregnant. She asked me point blank if I was being abused. I thought about my baby and what I wanted for her and I broke down. I told her what Henry had done to me. I told her I wanted out. So she helped me.”

Gwilym looked at his plate and inhaled deeply, pushing down what you recognized quickly to be a flash of anger that crossed his face.

“Can I ask you another?”

You nodded.

“Why is he not behind bars?” he asked. “If he was that bad…”

He didn’t need to say it. You cleared your throat.

“I made a deal with him,” you explained. “If he would give me the divorce and sign away his rights to Violet, then I wouldn’t press charges. And he could never contact me or my daughter again. He didn’t want to lose his job or go to jail, so he agreed.”

“And he’s stayed away?”

“So far,” you said. “He tried to call me a few times the first year, but gave up pretty quick. I changed my name back to my maiden name and moved across the country. I wanted it to be clear there was no chance of reconciling.”

“You are incredible,” he said. “Really.”

“I did what I had to do for Violet,” you said.

“One more question.”

“Shoot.”

“Why didn’t you do it for you?”

You knew the answer but you didn’t want to say it. It was a shitty, awful thing that you still wrestled with and was the cause of so much, including your hesitation with giving yourself to Gwilym.

“He made me believe I wasn’t worth it,” you said, swallowing a fresh lump in your throat. “I still...I still don’t know if I am. But I know my daughter is and all I can do is protect her.”

“You are worth it,” he said. “I know so.”

His eyes were genuine and soft. You were struck once again with overwhelming gratitude that Gwilym never looked at you with pity. His eyes and gentle smile were so sweet you almost believed him. You considered blurting out the truth now, just so you could tell him you loved him and kiss him hard.

But you didn’t.

“Thank you, Gwilym,” you said, holding back from another snappy retort that would have effectively evaded this emotion you were facing head on. But it wasn’t quite as scary with your best friend at your side.

“Do you believe me when I say that?” he questioned.

You took his hand. “I’m starting to.”

In one of the sweetest gestures anyone had ever shown you, he brought your fingers to his lips and kissed them. It was light, but friendly and warm. It made you feel like you were in a Jane Austen novel or something. It made you feel like Dear Friend.

The rest of the evening was spent in happier spirits. In fact, you laughed a lot. You found that it was true what Violet said - when Gwilym was around, you were usually smiling. Although, getting vulnerable with him was becoming second nature to you now. You knew that you had to open yourself up and let him in if you were ever going to get to a place where you could be loved by him.

He walked you home and all the way up to your door. You paused outside. You faced him, a dopey smile plastered on your face. You wanted to blame the wine, but you knew it was the company.

“Thank you for yet another great evening,” you said.

“It’s my pleasure,” he returned, cupping your face in his hand. “Thank you for opening up to me. It makes me feel close to you when I understand you better.”

You placed your hand atop his. “I feel cared for when you listen.”

He gazed at you. You were certain his blue eyed stare could stop your heart and melt icebergs. It was that warm and deep. You thought for a moment, he might kiss you. Part of you hoped that he did. Another, stronger part of you knew he shouldn’t. It seemed he felt the same way because after a few moments, he pulled away. He kissed your forehead instead.

“Good night, Y/N,” he whispered.

“Good night,” you replied.

With one last smile, he left. You watched him disappear down the hall and sighed. You wanted him so badly it physically pained you. But each time you thought you could confess to him, your Henry shaped roadbock got in the way.

Shaking your head, you unlocked your hotel room door and crept inside. Stacy and Violet were asleep. You walked around to Stacy’s side and gently shook her shoulder.

“Stace,” you whispered. “I’m home. You can go back to your room now.”

“Okay,” she yawned. “Did you have a good time?”

“A wonderful time,” you assured her. “But I’ll catch you up tomorrow.”

“Alrighty,” she agreed.

She carefully rolled out of bed and bid you goodnight before sneaking out. You went to the bathroom to take off your makeup and brush your teeth. As you did, you thought about Gwilym. He seemed to only get more perfect the more time you spent with him. It should have made you feel worse, but oddly, your confidence was growing. You felt like you could be raw and real, without following up with humor just to hide away. You were feeling healthy.

You changed into your pajamas and crawled into bed beside your daughter, who stirred and just barely opened her eyes to look at you.

“Sorry, baby,” you said. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Did you have fun, Mommy?” she asked sleepily.

You smiled. “So much fun. But we missed you so much.”

She giggled. “Really?”

“Really,” you assured her. “We said ‘You know who would make this night soooo much fun? Violet.’”

“I missed you too,” she replied. “I don’t really think I have a mean Mommy.”

You pulled her close with a laugh. “I’m glad to hear it, sweetie.” You kissed her head and pushed her hair out of her eyes. “Would you like to go to London sometime?”

She yawned again. “London? Where the bridge is falling down?”

“That’s the one,” you said, chuckling.

“Are you coming too?” she wondered.

“Of course,” you said. “And Mister Gwilym would be there.”

“Yes!” she gasped.

“You really like him, don’t you?” you teased.

She nodded. “Don’t you like him, Mommy?”

You poked her nose to make her laugh. “Very much.”

She snuggled closer to you and you wrapped her up in your arms. After telling Gwilym what you’d gone through for her...you felt extra affectionate towards her and wanted to hold your little girl all night. You didn’t need a father for her. You were a family all on your own. But you couldn’t help but feel it would be nice if Gwilym was there too.

The next morning, you woke to an unfamiliar ringtone. And when you rolled over to grab the phone it was coming from, you realized two things: Stacy had left her phone in your room and that it was about four in the morning. The call must have been from her boyfriend since there was just and H with a heart beside it as the contact. It annoyed you for her that he felt a need to call at this hour, but you weren’t one to judge. You swiped to answer it so you could tell him you just had to walk the phone over to her.

“He-”

“You don’t know how to answer a goddamn text?” demanded the voice on the other end.

His voice completely froze you. The accent, the tone, the aggression in it. It was unmistakable. Especially to you.

“Henry?!” you gasped.

He paused. You could feel the tension through the phone. Fear gripped you with iron hands.

“Y/N?” he questioned. “The fuck are you doing answering Stacy’s phone?”

“The fuck are you doing calling Stacy’s phone?” you shot back.

“Don’t be like this, just bring her the phone,” he said irritably.

You got up, grabbed your hotel key, and walked out of the room so you wouldn’t wake Violet. When the door closed, you took a deep breath to try and calm yourself.

“What the fuck are you doing calling my assistant?” you insisted.

“She’s my girlfriend,” he said as if it were obvious. As if it were something that was even somewhat okay. “I don’t see how it’s any of your busin-”

You hung up. Trying to gather yourself as you stepped over to the next room over, you took another deep breath. You were feeling so intensely...something. Rage. Hurt. Shock. Terror. All of them at once. Your whole body was trembling with what you had to do. With no other outlet for the emotions, you took two fists and pounded on Stacy’s door.

“Wake up!” you shouted. “Wake up! Wakeupwakeupwakeup!”

She finally yanked the door open, frantic. “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

You glared at her, absolutely livid that she had the audacity to be your friend and care for your child, all while having an affair with your ex husband. The man who had abused you, tortured you, and still affected nearly everything you did. And she knew about all of it. You had confided in her. Not as much as you had confided in Gwilym but she knew enough to know that this was wrong.

“We need to talk,” you said, unsure how you weren’t just shrieking at her and throwing her across the room. But you were not Henry.

“O-okay,” she replied nervously, opening the door wider to allow you inside.

When she closed it behind you, you whipped around to face her.

“How long, Stacy?”

“How long what?” she returned, and you could see she was genuinely confused.

“How long have you been fucking my ex-husband?”

The color drained from her face as you glowered at her.

“Wh - how did you - I didn’t - I’m so sorry!” she cried, her eyes welling up with tears.

“I found out because he called you a minute ago,” you snapped. “He told me you’re his girlfriend!”

“Y/N, I know it’s hard to understand, but -”

“Oh, no, I understand,” you cut her off. “He may seem charming and sweet now, but just wait a few years. All that goes away and he’s the abusive piece of shit that I told you he is!”

“He’s different now!” she cried. “He’s changed!”

“That’s a story I’ve heard before!” you returned. “But this isn’t about that. How could you do this to me? You know what I’ve been through with him! And you brought him to Boston, didn’t you?”

“I - I’m sorr-”

“Didn’t you?!”

“Yes!” she cried.

“How dare you!” you yelled. “You brought that man within feet of me! And my daughter! You put both of us at risk!”

“He’s changed, Y/N, really!” she tried again.

“I promise you he hasn’t,” you returned. “Did it ever once occur to you that he was using you to get to me?! Did you use your fucking brain?!”

Tears rolled down her cheeks. You didn’t feel the least bit sorry for her.

“Please, let me explain,” she begged.

You crossed your arms over your chest and looked expectantly at her. “Fine. Explain, then.”

“We met through Facebook,” she said. “It started off casual, but he wanted to be more than friends. I didn’t even know he was your ex.”

“Okay, and?”

“We started talking and it got flirty, and then we exchanged phone numbers,” she went on. “I met him in New York when I had a few days off and we decided to become exclusive. It was then that I found out he was your ex.”

“And so you decided that was okay?” you snapped.

“No!” she insisted. “I talked about it with him. He said he had gone to therapy and anger management was working on himself. He just asked that I give him a chance.”

“And you believed him?”

“Well...yeah.”

“You have your job on your Facebook profile, right?” you asked.

Her eyes went wide. “I...yes, I do.”

You shook your head. “That’s what I thought.”

“You think he only reached out because I-”

“Yeah, Stacy, that’s exactly what I think,” you snapped. “No, I know that’s why he reached out to you. What other reason would he have?”

“He said he thought I was beautiful…” she said quietly.

“There are thousands of beautiful women in New York City,” you said. “Why the fuck would he reach out to a random woman living in Los Angeles who also just happens to work for his ex-wife?”

Her bottom lip trembled. “But -”

“You’re fired,” you said simply.

“What?!”

“YOU’RE FIRED!” you screamed and hurled her phone across the room.

With that, you stormed out. You heard her crying as the door closed behind you. Tears stung your own eyes as well, and you couldn’t be sure why. There was so much swirling around inside you. You hurried back into your own room. Violet still slept soundly and a pang of fresh fury went through you. Stacy had brought Henry so close - so fucking close - to her. Your precious girl. You snatched your own phone from the nightstand and went into the bathroom. With shaky hands, you dialed Gwilym. You needed him. Now more than ever.

It rang a few times and for a terrifying moment, you feared he wouldn’t answer. It was ridiculously early, after all. But then, you heard a soft click.

“Y/N?”

His caring voice on the other end of the line made you weak. You opened your mouth to respond but only managed to sob into the speaker.

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rqs902 · 4 years

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watching xikan on the 娱乐新鲜派, 一起爬墙吧 , and sina 娛情实验室 interviews just made me appreciate him even more. his snarky, playful side contrasts well with his caring, protective side. and i feel like we saw more of the former during ip and we’re seeing more of the latter during snzm. both are nice to see, but i miss his silly fun side and im grateful he still has it in him to act cocky in a non-snobby, but rather joking way but also speak like a true friend about how he feels about his friends who have found success post ip.

aw my child is on the front page :’)

ugh im surprised only xikan was so determined to use this opportunity to save people who need saving.... but i guess that shows how much he really values the opportunity and his friends who are not popular

aw im glad linjie immediately corrected the interviewer who said that he has 3 geges in CTO to 6.... at first ngl i was wondering if had moved on from being friends with them, but im glad he hasnt forgotten. even zixin was so surprised zlj called him lol

aw i like that the team 7 group is all together still :’) rip enyu and linkai’s popularity tho. enyu always coming through with the realest quotes every ep. yes this is basically a test of how social you’ve been with the popular kids :\

AW WENXUAN PICKING XUE EN was such a good move on his part, i approve. but also i didnt realize they were close? LOL but like considering where they are, who xue en is, and who else in the group already? a good move.

hHAHAHAH I DONT THINK IVE EVER SEEN LIN MO THIS HAPPY awwww so first i didnt realize kou cong was doing so well, #11 good for him!!! but also this makes more sense as to why jin fan is the only tyger who didnt get picked into this group.... lin mo picked akey and kou cong picked zhan yu, which both make sense as individual decisions but then leaves out jin fan, unfortunately. but MAN they have a well-rounded group.... but seeing jin fan as the only tyger in the lower half votes area and also as the only one who didnt get picked to be in this group? a group that has a song style that he should try to pursue rather than being cast as a vocal AGAIN? hurts. the tygers are the ones who are most likely to save him and theyre all in a different group from him? ouch. i hope hes made enough friends so someone else will save him then...

wow i didnt realize chaowen was close with shiwei, the cto kids are close with all the popular kids LOL but also im heavily surprised chaowen didnt pick ylq?? when i saw cyc and chaowen on one side and ylq on the other, i felt sad but thought theyd pick him for sure, because he needs saving. // oh i guess it makes sense ycw says he doesnt want to pick between ylq and cyc but still... ylq needs your help more, i feel like itd make sense? but its okay im happy he picked shiwei to help demonstrate further how much the cto kids are helping these popular kids!!!

i appreciate sxl for choosing to save mxy over choosing a song he wanted most. ugh sad it didnt work out. but he couldve tried harder to pick a song mxy wouldve wanted, if he was gonna switch his choice anyway?? hmm i feel like mxy probably shouldve gone with sxl though... at least he could be saved next round and possibly get more screentime by being associated with someone whos more popular

oof ybz being salty about liu cong and relating it to cxh being salty over xzx.... as someone whos been on the other side of that, i think people should be able to have a best friend but still hang out with other people and make other friends? I dont think it should be restricted like that :\ hes so salty omg.... idk i dont think its a good look for him but maybe thats bc i disagree with his viewpoint about friendship.

LOL THE VOCALIST ROOM OF LI HAO, RENYU, LI CHENXU, JUNRONG, XU ZHAOHAO SINGING TONG HUA HAHAHAHHAHAH

HAHAHAH SU ER IS SO EXTRA like omgomg you picked me you picked me! and oscar’s just like... well.... hHAHAHHhah but id like to think that oscar remembered su er’s tears from ep 1 and kept his sadness to heart. maybe :)

AYYYY RENYU being the highest ranked vocal in that room of vocalists :’) AHHH AND ENYU IS JOINING THEIR GROUP YESSSSS THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST VOCAL PERFORMANCE EVER

man its just like what youd expect, the rest of the group choosing gets like fast forwarded to the end lol but yay for cyc and ylq being able to pick the same group tho... even tho it doesnt seem like the type of style theyve done before? i guess that could possibly be a good thing? but man i wish sbh got to do another cool stage :\

OSCAR ATTACKING HONG WEIHAO WITH A BACK HUG I LOVE FRIENDSHIP

wait so the lower rank kids dont get to pick people, its just individual choice at that point? well at least jin fan got to pick a song he wanted :’) at least he’ll get to actually dance this time... (pls let him do some bboying pls let him do some bboying)

oh rip this mxy hyj group :( feels bad to be the leftover kids.... mxy probably shouldve just gone with sxl....... i saw a post where someone said ofc its a star master trainee keeping this group together and leading their practice - loll..................

lol these closeups at the end are so obviously biased they dont even bother showing the faces of half the group members :(

AW JIN FAN HOLDING THE TYGER SIGN

even if jin fan is sad at least he has a good attitude about it ><

im crying they literally only included this group’s intros bc youku enjoys watching hyb get personally attacked LOL not that im complaining AT ALL HAHHAHAHAH i love this group already and i love how all the kids have hopped on the lin mua train :’) im cheng xiao laughing my butt off watching them HAHAH but also im 99% sure jin fan is the one who taught zhan yu to sing that line in cantonese 1) bc its cantonese but 2) bc jin fan ALWAYS sang that song in past interviews when asked to do a personal talent LOL my best brooos

real talk tho when will we ever get a zhan yu and jin fan stage? :(

well everyones super shook that this was 1.5 hrs of song selection and we didnt get any stages... idk if theyre gonna stuff 8 stages into tomorrow’s ep but if they dont i will be worried about skewed voting yet again so hopefully they figured it out somehow....

#rants

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luvdsc · 4 years

Note

hey!! it’s 🧋 anon!! i hope you’re doing well! thank you!! ive got 11 more exams this coming week so i’m a lil 🥲 and then 3 more maybe the week after? exactly! i was so paranoid in the exam like “am i suddenly smart or a grade a idiot?” but it’s comforting to know that others feel the same about tests in general 😅. i’m learning python! i know there are better languages but ehhhh it’s just high school sjdnndn. and thank you about my bias choice sjsjndn. oh no not the 10th floor 😭 i’ve heard horror stories 🤧 i just can’t get over how sweet, funny and gentle he seemed in the jolly interview 🥺. thank you!! for letting me claim 🧋! and i wish i could say the same about not knowing that it was released but i’ve legit been checking since pre-quarantine for a boba emoji bc emojipedia said it would be coming out 😭 i had to start claiming it soon bc i’m NOT letting someone take it from me 😠 (but also! look how cute these are: 🦤🦭🐻‍❄️🐈‍⬛ ). as for my regular boba order, i’m still a lil new to the boba world bc i first (finally) tried it like 2 weeks before quarantine 😭. so everytime i go to this boba place (which is hardly ever for obvious reasons) i try to get something different! bc it all seems so cool!! the place i go to has popping bubbles in different flavours! so i always try to get a different drink with different popping bubbles and regular boba. i think my favourite so far is any drink (maybe mango?) with apple popping bubbles and boba!! but i’ve also been making boba at home for agessss and i usually just make regular tea or green tea with it! 💗

awww 😭 thank you ma’am sksndjdj. i mean, you do give off very motherly energy so i’ll happily accept being a baby 🥺 awww you think my accent is cute? ms cat i’m blushing 😭🥺 oof yeah the exams are not fun™️. but like you said, it does kinda prepare us for them more but the stresssssss is 🥲😭 okay so i’ll answer these in order if that’s okay?

do you still have class going on in between these exams? i assume you mean specifically when we have exams? so unfortunately yeah😭 it depends on the teacher as to wether they’ll let us revise in lesson or if we have to do regular work

do the gcse’s determine your college field of study afterwards? kinda? i mean, colleges have a minimum enterance requrement for courses. although it varies course to course, it’s usually somewhere around the 4-5 (high c-low b) mark. but you can do any course you want at college as long as you have passes in most subjects (usually an emphasis on core subjects (english, maths and science)). (so like, if you didn’t do history in high school, but you wanted to do it in college, then you could do the course as long as you meet the courses’ gcse grade requirements).

is college different from uni? yeah! college is for 2 years and straight after high school. in england you legally have to be in education until you’re 18, so all education is free until then, meaning that college is free! (unless you want to go back to do something else later in life). uni is after college and is optional. that’s where you get things like a bachelor’s, masters and doctoral degree. usually it’s for 3 years although it can vary and you have to pay! we have a student loan system too!

don’t worry about the questions! i enjoy the differences too sjdbbdd. and oooo! here, high school is 11-16/year 7-11, then college is (usually) 16-18/year 12-13 (although we don’t tend to refer to them by years) and uni is (usually) 19-22! (although you tend to go back to that for higher qualifications).

ansnsekndj i’m sorry ms cat 😭 and for me college will start in september of next year! we finish year 11 really early compared to the other years (usually we finish in july (my birthday month!!) but in year 11 we finish the day our last exam happens! which is usually around the end of may to the start of june!) so the holiday is the longest we’ll ever have 😭. that’s one of the reasons i envy americans because the summer breaks are SO long 😭 here, they’re 6 weeks sksndn.

i hope i answered all of your questions ms cat! ily! 🐈‍⬛💗~🧋

hi, lovebug!!! 💓 i’m going to put my answers under the cut since they got pretty long 🤧

i’m doing good!! i got soo much sleep over the weekend and am well rested, so this means tomorrow’s 6 am meeting won’t be too bad 🤧 YOU HAVE ELEVEN EXAMS THIS WEEK???? what on earth 😭 that’s like 2 per day and one day has 3 aksjlhflajkdfaskdjf why don’t they spread them out??? and three more the following week 💀💀 this sounds absolutely brutal, i’m so sorry, lovebug. have you been studying for all of them? LOL yeah, i feel like something is wrong if i can just breeze through a test akjdlhsflask python is a good start and easy to understand! honestly, most codes are pretty similar tbh, so once you get a good grasp of one, it’s easy to learn the other ones :’) do you enjoy cs? 💕 aldskjfaslk yeah, jaehyun does seem like the perfect boyfriend, doesn’t he? 🤧💘 LOL i heard there would be a boba emoji, but i didn’t know if it was true or not, but woooo it’s good to know it’s finally here!! 🥳 and omg the dodo bird and seal emojis 🥺💗 those are all sooo cute!!! aslhfdlkjasd first time trying boba, i just gasped out loud 😦 i’m so happy to hear that you enjoyed it once you tried it though! 💜 omg the popping bubbles are really yummy! and i LOVE mango!!! 🤩 that’s one of my favorite fruits :’) same with apple!! omg you’re making boba at home asdjhfas i’m so jealous 🤧 i haven’t had any boba ever since quarantine started in march 😭 aaaah i loooove green tea and black tea ones :’) have you tried the cheese boba tea before? i thought it wasn’t going to be that good, but i was pleasantly surprised with the taste, like it wasn’t that bad actually. cloud tea is also really nice, too ☁️💞

akjashdlfkja you are the absolute cutest omg 🥺💖 the british accent is sooo nice like wow, you can just be reading me your grocery lists and i’m like 🤩 amazing, perfect, wonderful, never been done before. meanwhile, i’m here with some kind of american valley girl accent LOL 🤧 you shouldn’t be having that much stress at 15 what the heck 😭 i wish they would cut down on the number of exams for you because having 11 in one week is not okay at all ): and oh my goodness, thank you sooo much for giving me such thorough answers to all my questions, honey bee 🥺💛💛✨

ah, we also have classes going on during exams too, so i can relate unfortunately. it really sucks when the teachers continue to teach new material, instead of helping you prepare for the big exams /:

ooo i see!! i think it’s really cool that colleges actually show minimum requirements for acceptance. here, there’s no set criteria at all, so it’s kind of a shot in the dark. they do post the averages of past students’ grades/scores and whatnot, so we have a vague idea of what each school wants, but some schools are weird af, like my friend with a lower gpa and less extracurriculars got into stanford university, meanwhile my one friend who won essentially the youth’s version of the nobel prize and was even acknowledged by obama during his presidency was waitlisted 😬

oh wow, i wish it was like that here :o education is so expensive in the US, like student debt is the norm. do you still have general education classes in college, or is this where you can choose a specific field of study? and university is only 3 years oh my gosh wow, only three years of tuition to pay!! the US could never /: it’s like 70k/year for private universities, 5k-15k/year for public schools in state, and 15k-35k/year for public schools if you’re out of state 💀

the words “college” and “university” are pretty much interchangeable here in the US, so that’s really cool to know! years 6-8 / ages 11-13 (i think that’s the age range?) is considered middle school here, so it’s interesting to see that some of those years are considered high school for you :o

ooo ok, that’s when my school years ended too back in high school! i ended in may and started school again in august. but in uni, i started in september and ended mid june :’) ah yes, our summers are around 2-3 months, and i really miss having that now that i’m out of school 😭 only 6 weeks??? that’s so short omg i’m so sorry ): do you have anything fun planned for your summer? also, do you have prom there? 💕

thank you soooo so much, sweetpea, you answered all of my questions so nicely, and i appreciate you so much 💝💝 ily too, and i hope you have a good week ahead, angel!!! 💖🌷

#asks #anonymous #🧋 anon

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petersshirts · 5 years

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The Truth | tom holland

summary: tom just can’t hide his feelings anymore

warnings: none, just fluff

words: 1,7 k

A/N: this is for @hollandsosterfield and @spidey-caps birthday writing challenge, i chose the prompt „I sleep better if you’re around.“ with my boi tom, i hope you enjoy!! and as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

„Y/N, you’re up!“ The voice of an unfamiliar man woke you from your daydreams and you looked up, trying to remember where you were. There were people all around you, fixing cameras and talking quietly while you just sat there, waiting for the next interview.

You just nodded and got up to walk to the blue couch that was still empty but as soon as you sat down, you heard a familiar laugh that made your insides churn. Tom walked into the room and shook hands with a few of the journalists, that handsome smile never leaving his lips.

You had always hated press tours. Especially with Marvel - there was never anything you could really talk about and it seemed like you never slept. But with Tom around, you never wanted this to be over. Your co-star always lit up every room he walked in, just like he lit up your heart.

You had met Tom on the day of your audition for the first Spider-Man movie and you were completely overwhelmed. This was your first movie and Tom was just so nice and welcoming - he showed you the food and encouraged you all day, knowing somehow that you would get the part. And since that, you just couldn’t stop thinking about him.

You knew that you were only co-stars and you were just playing one of his classmates - but somehow it felt like so much more. There were stolen glances in between takes and smiles that were just meant for you. But you never dared to make the next step. The two of you spend a few nights in hotel rooms watching movies and falling asleep together, but there was never more. You were too afraid to let him in.

„Hey, you.“ Tom whispered and send you a smile that made you weak in the knees. Thank god for that couch you were sitting on. „H- hi.“ It was always hard for you to talk to him - you always wondered why he even talked to you. There were so many more beautiful girls out there like Zendaya. God, Zendaya. She was a goddess.

„How’s LA been treating you?“ Toms’ eyes were full of curiosity and you could only smile, happy that someone like Tom was around. He really cared about the people around him. But you hoped that he could care a bit more about you.

„It’s been good. The city’s just a bit too big for me.“ Tom nodded, knowing how you felt. Just like him, you were from the UK but you came from a much smaller town than him. Because of that, the two of you hit it right off. When you started talking, it felt like Tom was a long lost friend you’ve been looking for. With him, you were not an outcast surrounded by Americans.

„I know the feeling. I’m so excited to head back home.“ You smiled at Tom but before you could answer him, you were interrupted by the interviewer talking to the camera to tell you that the interview was starting and it was time to put on that smile you just wanted to throw in the trash.

After a few hours of talking about a movie you couldn’t really talk about, the day was finally done. Tom had a few more interviews with Jake Gyllenhaal, so you just waved at him before you left the room. But with you turning your back away from Tom, you didn’t see the longing look on his face.

Since it was already 6 pm, you told your driver to bring you back to the hotel. There were only two more days left until you headed back home to your family for a week. In your room, you ordered room service and changed into some comfy pyjamas and opened Netflix. When you look at the list of your recently watched movies, you had to grin.

Last week, Tom told you that he had never watched the Princess Diaries so you forced him to watch it with you. And he loved it. Tom was such a sap at heart and you just loved watching him laugh out loud and just smile like a goofball through the whole movie. After you finished the first one, Tom insisted on watching the second one and even though it was pretty late you agreed, because you just couldn’t say no to him.

But as soon as the intro started, you fell asleep. Tom covered you with a blanket and when you woke the next morning, he was still there. Your stomach erupted with butterflies when you saw his sleeping face right next to you, his mouth slightly open and his curls all over the place. He looked so peaceful at that moment and you had wished that you could stay like this forever. You wanted to reach out and touch his hair and wake him up with a kiss, but you were just friends.

You sighed and looked for something else to watch to get your mind off the British boy. It was particularly hard when you saw him every day, trying to tell yourself that he was way too good for you.

Room service arrived pretty quickly and you found yourself on the bed, eating your burger and fries while watching a sad romantic movie that was just right up your alley. When you finished the food, the movie was getting more heart-wrenching and you started crying, always really touched by those cliche movies. Suddenly, there was a knock on your door and your eyes widened, wondering who would want something for you this late at night.

You hopped off the bed without a second thought and rushed to the door, only to reveal the by that you couldn’t stop thinking about. Tom smiled at you but as soon as he saw your tears, he looked a lot more worried. He moved forward and grabbed your arms, his eyes searching for what caused those tears.

„Hey, are you okay?“ You couldn’t help yourself and started to giggle, causing Tom to look even more concerned. „Yeah, I was just watching a sad movie. I’ll be fine.“ Tom let out a breath and smiled, happy that nothing was wrong. He would hate himself if there was something he had done.

„What are you doing here?“ You raised an eyebrow, not sure why he had shown up in front of your room. Normally, he would send you a text and ask if he could come over to talk, but it was unusual for him to just show up in front of your door. But to be honest - you weren’t complaining.

Suddenly, Tom started to blush and look to the ground, avoiding your gaze. „Uhm, I kinda need to talk to you. Can I come in?“ Well, this was even weirder. But you just smiled and opened the door wider.

Tom walked in and you followed him, slowly realising that your room looked like a complete mess. There were plates everywhere and it looked like a raccoon just ravished this place. But Tom didn’t even comment on that and just sat down on the bed, his eyes still fixated on the ground. Something must be terribly wrong.

You sat down next to him, unsure what to say. You fidgeted with your fingers, hoping that he would actually say something. Maybe he had girl problems and he needed your help. That would be the worst - how could you help the boy you really liked with another girl??„Okay, I’m just gonna say it.“ Tom finally looked up and right into your eyes. You just stared at him, waiting.

„I like you, Y/N. For quite a while now. And I don’t know if you feel the same but I just can’t stand watching from the side when I just want you to be mine.“ Your eyes widened and you tried to understand what Tom just said The exact words you’ve been dreaming of for a long time. You wanted to tell him the same thing, that you just couldn’t stop thinking about him whenever he was near or gone, but Tom was faster than you.

„And I know that it’s pretty cliche with us being co-stars but when I saw you the first time and I saw you smile, I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. You’re my match, Y/N. Whenever we had those movie nights and you fell asleep, I just wanted to hold you close and kiss you, but I was never sure that you felt the same way. But now I’m selfish. And I’m sorry if this is…“ but before he could say anything else, you grabbed his hand to get his attention. A smile was on your lips and you just grinned at the boy, your heart beating a million times a minute.

„Tom, I feel the same way. I always wanted to tell you but I was just too scared.“ Now it was Toms’ turn to look shocked, but soon he started to grin like a 10-year-old. „Does that mean I can kiss you?“ His words were only a whisper and you could only nod, a blush rising on your cheeks.

Tom slowly moved forward and your lips met his and a small whine escaped his throat. Your hands wandered to his waist, pulling him closer, wanting to feel him. Tom nudged your nose and you giggled, happy that everything had finally fallen into place.

Soon, Tom moved you on the bed and the two of you cuddled while you finished the movie you started. And when it was don, you asked him to stay. Toms’ face lit up and he just nodded when he turned off the light turning the room into complete darkness. Tom nuzzled his face into your neck and you sighed, the smile never leaving your lips. Finally, after all those years, things had fallen into place.

„I sleep better if you’re around.“ Tom mumbled into your neck and you laughed at the soft touch, but you knew exactly what he meant. With him, you felt safe. Like everything would be even brighter the next day with your boy by your side.

I would love some feedback! x

Permanent Taglist & Mutuals:

@smexylemony // @ive-got-more-wit // @lou-la-lou // @loxbbg // @seanna313 // @underoos-shield // @supernatural-strangerthings-1980 // @ixchel-9275 // @thejourneyneverendsx // @sideeffectsofyou // @teenwolfbitches2 // @mywinterwolf // @alex--awesome--22 // @wronglanemendes // @keithseabrook27 // @tomshufflepuff // @awkwardfangirl2014 // @embrace-themagic // @ophcelia // @nedthegay // @xxtomxo // @peterpumpkinparker // @twilightparker // @h-osterfield // @suncityparker // @holland-peters // @fratboievans // @spiderrrling // @hufflebucky // @hollandroos // @naturallytom // @starksparker

#TOM #tom holland #tom stanley holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fic #petersshirts

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humankoalaa · 5 years

Text

BLACK LIGHTNING 3X02

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

we’re not doing this the beginning of every episode tho .... we’re not. like ive had it with the vomiting 😩

bleeding out the eyes tho?! ... is this black lightning or shadow hunters 😫

LALA ISNT IN A TRACK SUIT ?!

ugh poor Henderson.

is that khalils mom tho?

LMAO gambi i said the same thing 🤣🤣 come on sis. we know that mamas cry.

ooooooo jefferson big mad 🤣 sit down. like just take the L you’re used to it.

this commander is such trash.

they can’t even call jenn and anissa?! their daughters?! smfh.

might as well kept the damn collar on jeff. hell all they need is shackles now 😒 kinda shit is this man.

they done got a cell upgrade in captivity, meanwhile anissas jobless in a loft and presumably unconscious still.

😫 grandma and grandpa fighting. keep all that negativity on the green arrow plz and ty.

this adolf reincarnate wanna be bout to be the next reverend with all this screaming huh?! you can get your point across using your indoor warehouse voice at a 6.

“quarantine be damned” 🤣🤣

only black lightning can use “grimey ass” and get away with it and only hendersons ass has the attitude to deliver it. i said what i said.

TIMEOUT. i know good AND got damn well anayah knows that’s anissas ass 🤣🤣🤣🤣

WHY DOES BLACKBIRD SOUND LIKE BATMAN?! WHY?!

jenn 🤣🤣🤣🤣 i love her so much.

odell has officially realized jenn ain’t the one 😂

he’s looking at her like “got dammit you know what just watch the video, take the phone, eat the food, surf the web, tie you shoes and stop frying government property!”

meanwhile jenns like nah. im good love. enjoy.

lawd they were lying through them smiles for jenn 😭

they really pulled out shotguns?! 🤣 also i can’t with blackbird and that mask. like do they really not know thats anissa orrrr

GAMBI!!!!!

henderson 🤣🤣 “do you ever run out of weird ass tech” MOOD.

henderson saying anissa is his heart 😭

i know that’s right gambi.

sis done lost her fingernails? 😩 they need to just let her go on to the thee almighty.

i can’t wait for Henderson to fuck up this commander ooooooo i know it’s coming.

yes for bread and crackers lala. he here preaching about crumbs.

scuse me mr. lala, you ever seen lesbians fight over crumbs?! clearly you haven’t. issa whole 2 seasons and we still ain’t seen anissa and grace hug, go on a proper date, NOT lie about something i mean i can do this all day.

we done been through 60 days and 60 nights, 80 acres and 3 mules, AND had to endure TWO grace droughts in 2018 ok?! meanwhile we’re still here fighting for crumbs.

you ever seen the movie antz mr. latavius?! that is a day in the life of a lesbian. okay?! pay attention. learn you something!

🤣🤣🤣🤣 they still killing lala only for him to get right back up 😂😂

i need lala to get up one of these days after being shot like “surprise mother fucker, got shot five times mother fucker, still alive mother fucker, IM NOT NOT DYN MOTHER FUCKER” i need this.

when did anissa learn sign language? you know what nevermimd she just be out here knowing how to do shit.

anayah ungrateful ass.

i cannot stress this enough.... blackbird can beat my ass to hell and leave me there.

awh lawd they done killed Mariam.

this dude talking to jenn on the stairs has a whole booger in his nose. you mean to tell me nobody in the editing room peeped that?! 😩

NO JAMILA IM OVER U BYEEEE

shut up and run jamila.

KHALIL

still don’t like his ass but heeyyyyyy giirrlll.

khalil... you ain’t even finish highschool ole masters in none having ass 😩

no the fuck he ain’t study none of that shit 😂😂😂😂

OMFG NO ODELL!

lmao i thought it came back on nope watchmen commercial 😂

it’s been on a commercial break for like 30 minutes come on man.

oh wow commander showing he has some sort of humanity left in him.

PAUSE he called khalil “it” 🙄 trash.

odell better stop treating my grandmother like the help thats all i know.

COMMERCIAL AGAIN?! it wasnt even 2 minutes since the last 😑

first of all lynn you’re not mad at my grandfather. relax.

awh lawd grandpa 😩😩😩😩😩

she pulled the “im a doctor card” 😂

this fight is so petty 😂

both of their asses need to be grounded and sent to bed.

michelle..... that ain’t your son sis. that ain’t him sis.

rip michelle. guess that’s why blackbird sounds like Batman so she doesnt end up like Michelle’s non anonymous anonymous interview 🤷🏾‍♀️

why they have her go out like that 😩 looking like kryptonite got her ass 😩

Lawd he done fucked up and called jenn a bitch.

jenn 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 this ain’t a problem you want 🤣🤣🤣

jenn really just beat up the whole wrestling team... yeah she did that. her and anissa fight scenes always lit.

#black lightning #black lighting spoilers #anissa pierce #jennifer pierce #thundergrace

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inyournightmares97 · 6 years

Text

My Youth (Chapter 6)

Broken and miserable, Park Jinyoung returns to his hometown to learn that no matter how hard he falls, there are still people who think he’s a hero.

Warnings: Mentions of suicide/depression, death, angst, slow build, maybe some language.(Please don’t ask when I’ll update. Wait until the series is finished to read if you’re impatient.)

Word Count: 5.7k+

(Can’t put links to the other parts here, please check my Masterlist/the reblog for the Prologue and Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5)

“-Mom, I’m busy,” Jinyoung muttered into the phone. He had been sitting in a crucial meeting with the Finance Director of GOT Tech and representatives of the Financial Regulatory Board. Receiving approval for his company to go public was one of the most critical and risky steps in Jinyoung’s career.

His mother, however, had been calling him constantly for the last twenty minutes.

Mrs. Park sounded upset. “I’m sorry, Jinyoung, dear. I just needed to reach you-”

“Mom, I’m in an extremely important meeting right now. Do you know how it looks when the Managing Director of GOT Group keeps getting calls from his mother during business meetings? What do you want from me?” Jinyoung demanded in a frustrated whisper, running his fingers through his hair. He tried not to let his agitation show on his face; the other high-profile attendees of the meeting could still see him through the glass wall of the conference room.

“Jinyoung, there’s been a terrible tragedy in town,” his mother began nervously. “I don’t… I don’t know how to tell you this, but i suppose there’s no easy way to talk about a death. Remember I told you that I’ve been going to the hospital every day to meet-”

Jinyoung felt a burst of irritation. The clock was ticking. The Board members were waiting for him impatiently and he could see the disapproval on their faces. “Mom, did you call me to tell me that someone died?”

“Well… yes, but-”

“Mom, I have been preparing for this presentation for months. The future of my company depends on this meeting. This is absolutely the worst time you could have chosen to tell me something like this,” Jinyoung muttered through gritted teeth. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. “Please don’t mess up my focus right now. We can talk about this later. Do you need anything from me urgently?”

Mrs. Park hesitated. “You always seem to be busy these days. I just thought… if we could maybe help out with the funeral expenses or the hospital bills…”

Jinyoung closed his eyes. “Mom, you can just call my secretary for that. She’ll send you whatever amount you need. Send them flowers from me or something, okay? I have to go now.”

“Take care, Jinyoung, dear-”

“Bye, Mom.”

Jinyoung hung up and sighed, pressing his fingers to his temple. His personal secretary had followed him out of the room and was watching him nervously. He hadn’t even asked his mother who it was that had passed away. Was it somebody he knew? Maybe it was best that he didn’t think about it too much for now.

“Take my Mom’s call and ask her who died, send them money for the funeral and all those formalities,” Jinyoung told his secretary shortly. She nodded and made a note of it on her phone quickly while Jinyoung cleared his mind.

Focus. The presentation. The numbers.

Jinyoung took a deep, calming breath and plastered a rehearsed smile on his face before he turned to enter the conference room once more.

“I’m so sorry to keep you gentlemen waiting,” Jinyoung greeted all the well-dressed men with a bright smile. “I hope you can forgive me. Mothers seem to have a knack for calling at the most inconvenient times, don’t they?”

The men chuckled politely. “That’s perfectly fine, Mr. Park.”

“May I begin the presentation?”

“Please, do.”

--------

Jinyoung believed that to achieve something great, you needed to make certain sacrifices.

He had always known that the path he was embarking upon was not an easy one. Establishing your own business meant that you didn't get off work at 5 pm sharp, you couldn’t spend your weekends at a countryside cabin or getting drinks with your friends. You needed to keep working until things got done. You needed to compete in the market. You needed to be strong enough to pick up after your losses and clever enough to make friends in the right places. People were depending on you.

Jinyoung hadn’t merely chosen a career, he had chosen a life.

A very lonely life.

Whenever his mother would call him and try to have a casual chat, Jinyoung would find himself irritated. Who cared whether Mrs. Lee from the grocery store was giving a discount on strawberry bread? What did it matter if Mr. Cha had been trying to sell his little farmland? There was important work to be done. Jinyoung needed to talk to the advertising agents to make sure his products were being launched properly, he needed to negotiate discounts with suppliers to ensure he could meet the planned pricing goals. There were employees relying on him. There were investors who had trusted him with their money. There were quarterly goals that had to be met.

Every second of Jinyoung’s time was precious. Why couldn’t everyone understand that? Why couldn’t his mother stop thinking that her tiny little world in this tiny little town was everything, and understand the importance of what her son was doing?

There are a limited number of hours every man has at his disposal. We each make a conscious choice regarding how to spend each one.

It was only now, standing in front of your mother’s grave, that Jinyoung came a terrifying realization.

He had made the wrong choices.

------

“It was heart failure,” Mrs. Park whispered.

Jinyoung’s hands clutched the cup of tea firmly. It was hot and uncomfortable, but not more than the sick feeling in his stomach. Every word his mother spoke made him feel more pathetic.

What had he been doing all those months while your mother was in hospital and when she’d died? Preparing for his company to go public? Sitting in meetings and sucking up to corporate officials? Only to be fired and thrown out of the company. Only to have missed the death of somebody who had trusted him and cared for him.

“But she couldn’t have been that old…” Jinyoung muttered.

Mrs. Park shook her head softly. “She’d always had a weak heart, Jinyoung. Her health was fragile and after her husband passed away she had no choice but to work to support her daughter. All those long hours and late nights for years… they took their toll in the end. She had her first stroke three years ago. She was in hospital for a few weeks and then she had the second one; the one that took her life.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes, remembering your mother in his mind’s eye.

“She always looked tired. And worried.”

“She was.” Mrs. Park reached out and placed a hand over her son’s nervously. “I’m sorry, Jinyoung. I should have told you about it sooner. But you were always so busy in Seoul, always doing important things. It never seemed like the right time to tell you about something so devastating. It’s my fault.”

Jinyoung let out a small scoff. “Don’t take the blame on yourself. That doesn’t help me.”

Mrs. Park looked upset. “Jinyoung-”

She was interrupted by a loud knocking at the front door. Jinyoung closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temple while he listened to his father go to the door and yell at the person on the other side. The reporters had already found his home address. They had started arriving one-by-one since this morning. Each of them desperately wanted an interview with Park Jinyoung, the man who had lost his empire overnight. They wanted to know what he had to say about his dismissal from his own company.

Mr. Park re-entered the living room and sighed. “They’re getting more persistent. I think I should call the local police before they start trying to shove their way into our house.”

Jinyoung nodded and stood up. “I’ll go down to the police station myself and ask them to send someone to deal with this harrassment. Mom, you’ve told everyone we know to deny any reporters who request them for an interview, right?”

“Yes, but is it really a good idea for you to be going outside now-”

“I think I’ll lose my mind if I stay indoors,” Jinyoung muttered. He grabbed the black hoodie that was slung over the back of the sofa and glanced at his parents. They were both looking at him with wide, worried eyes.

Jinyoung felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over him; why should they have to deal with so much because of his mistakes? Why was he always the one taking and yet never giving?

“I’m sorry,” he apologized softly. “I’ll try and be back for dinner.”

------

Jinyoung’s legs carried him naturally towards the elementary school.

Perhaps it was a subconscious urge to see you, even though he had no idea what he would say if you really appeared before him. Anything Jinyoung could have said to help should have been said three years ago. Words like I’m sorry seemed like an insensitive joke at this point; too little and far too late.

Jinyoung sat silently on the bench by the schoolyard with his face covered by his dark hoodie, and wondered how his life had brought him to this point.

Left with nothing with shame.

“Ahjussi!”

By the time Jinyoung looked up, there was already a tiny figure running straight towards him at full speed. He flinched and braced himself for the impact; only to have the small boy stop centimetres away from him and throw his arms around him happily. Jinyoung stiffened.

“What-”

“Ahjussi, you are Park Jinyoung!” Ki-woo cried delightedly. The boy was beaming. Jinyoung noticed for the first time that one of his front teeth was missing, but it was still one of the brightest smiles he had ever seen. “Miss told me yesterday! Why did you lie and say you weren't? I can’t believe the King of the Playground walked me home after school and I didn’t even know!”

Jinyoung couldn’t resist a small smile. The sight of the little boy bouncing on his feet warmed him for a moment and he patted Ki-woo on the head. “If somebody asked Clark Kent if he was Superman, he wouldn’t say yes, now would he?”

Ki-woo’s eyes widened in understanding. “Wow. That’s so true! You’re so cool!”

“You’ll have to keep my secret.”

“Of course I will! Ahjussi, can you tell me how you did it? How did you manage to climb the oak tree?” Ki-woo demanded, grabbing Jinyoung’s arm and tugging on it eagerly. “You have to tell me, you just have to! Were you really tall?”

Jinyoung blinked. “Tall? Not particularly…”

“Then how? How did you do it?”

Jinyoung opened his mouth to respond but he was cut off by a loud yell. He had been so preoccupied with Ki-woo that he hadn’t noticed the much larger man that was making his way across the school yard. Jackson Wang had a huge smile on his face and without greeting, he threw his arms around Jinyoung in a fierce hug.

“Park Jinyoung! Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence!” Jackson cried happily. He pulled back and noticed the blank look on Jinyoung’s face. With a frown, he pointed to himself eagerly. “Remember me? Jackson! Jackson Wang! You used to pass me all the answers in History class!”

Jinyoung swallowed. “Uh…”

“Mr. Wang, you’re friends with Park Jinyoung?” Ki-woo asked, his mouth gaping open.

Jackson blinked and looked down at the boy sheepishly. “Ah, Ki-woo. I didn’t see you down there. Didn’t your teacher tell you to wait inside until someone came to pick you up? Go back indoors now.”

Ki-woo pouted. “But-”

“Nope. Back inside. Now.”

Jackson waited until Ki-woo began to slouch back towards the school building and then turned back to Jinyoung. “Man, you’re pretty much the celebrity around these parts now, eh? We had a couple of reporters come by the school this morning, asking for anyone who used to know you. You have nothing to worry about! I scared them off. These babies aren’t here for nothing,” Jackson beamed and flexed his bare bicep.

Jinyoung didn’t really know how to respond. “Nice.”

Jackson narrowed his eyes. “You do remember me, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course-”

“We should get drinks sometime and catch up now that you’re back in town! Man, I really owe you. You did me a solid one that Christmas before you left, remember? I’ll buy you a couple of beers at the pub. What’s your phone number?” Jackson demanded.

“I don’t really have a phone right now…”

“Don’t have a phone?” Jackson looked confused. “Weird but okay. I guess I can always ask Miss First Grade to get in touch with you. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me you were back in town!” he cried, slapping Jinyoung’s arm playfully. “Hold on… you’re here to see her, aren’t you?”

Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Not exactly…”

Jackson chuckled knowingly. “No worries, man. I’ve got your back. I need to go inside and take care of the kids now, so I’ll tell her to come out and meet you here, yeah? Let me know if any more of those reporters come around. I’ll take handle them for you!”

Jinyoung forced a smile. “Thanks-”

“No problem, man. It’s what friends are for. We’ll catch up soon!”

“Sure.”

Jinyoung watched Jackson half-run back to the school building, letting out a sigh of relief. Each person he came across in this town seemed to remember something about him and the one who possessed the most dangerous knowledge was Jackson Wang. In addition to having been the resident supplier of inappropriate magazines and the one who’d convinced Jinyoung to try his first cigarette behind the park back in high school, Jackson simply knew a little too much about everybody.

Jinyoung sat down on the bench and took a deep breath. He just realized that Jackson had said he would send you out to meet him. Why hadn’t he told him not to? He wasn’t prepared to face you. Idiot.

It was a few minutes before you emerged from the school building and walked towards Jinyoung. There was a pleasant smile on your face as you approached, and it made Jinyoung’s stomach turn. How could you smile at him like that? How could you be so calm about everything?

“Jinyoung,” you greeted him, confused. “Should you be roaming around out here? There are reporters buzzing all around town.”

Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Uh. Yeah, I know. Jackson said he drove them away...”

You rolled your eyes. “That idiot Jackson Wang? He was fully prepared to seize his five minutes of fame by telling them how you used to help him cheat in History class. I had to step in and force him to deny the request for an interview,” you muttered. Jinyoung’s eyes widened and you gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I sent a message to the principal of the middle school and the high school. Nobody’s going to give any interviews about you.”

Jinyoung felt small.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

“Did they find your house?”

“Yeah. They’ve been knocking the door all day. It’s really starting to bother Mom and Dad.”

Your expression was sympathetic. “Should I call the police?”

“Don’t worry. I was going to go down to the station myself and ask them to send someone to get rid of the reporters,” Jinyoung reassured you. He felt his heartbeat thump wildly as he looked at your gently smiling face. Should he say it? Should he talk about the elephant in the room? Even though he hadn’t prepared what to say?

“About… about last night…”

You blinked. “Yeah?”

He sighed. “About your mother. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I know that’s no excuse, but I should have been there and-”

You cut him off with a forced smile. “Jinyoung. It’s okay. It’s not like you could have done anything for her even if you were here, you’re not a doctor. Everyone did the best they could.”

Jinyoung swallowed. “I might not have been able to help her. But… I should have been there for you.”

The smile dropped from your face. What could you say? Jinyoung’s eyes were filled with shame but it wasn’t the right time for him to be offering condolences. That time had long passed.

But you still remembered his words from last night as he’d hugged you. I don’t feel as alone when I’m here. Jinyoung had been through so much. How could you say anything to such a broken man except for it’s okay? How could you offer him anything but comfort when he had nobody but you?

How could you not be the bigger person when he was suffering?

“It’s fine, Jinyoung,” you promised him softly. “You don’t need to worry about it.”

“How can I not-”

“Seriously. Please. It’s in the past and nobody was to blame. It happened around the time your company was going public, so I can only imagine how chaotic your life and work must have been back then. I don’t resent you.”

Jinyoung looked up at you in disbelief. “How can you not?”

“I just… don’t. It’s fine.”

“Do you really mean that? Do you really mean that?” he demanded.

“I do,” you insisted firmly. You glanced at your watch and sighed. “Wow, it’s getting late. We have a PTA fundraiser at school tonight so I need to start setting up. Oh! Did you bring my bicycle by any chance?” you asked him hopefully.

Jinyoung shook his head. “Uh, no. The reporters were in front of my house so I slipped out through the back…”

“Can you drop it by the school later? I’m going to staying back pretty late because I have to wrap up after the event is over. It might even take till midnight and the buses stop running at 9 so I need a way to get home. It’s not too much trouble, is it?”

“No, that’s fine. I’ll drop it off here later.”

You gave him a small smile as you turned to go back indoors. “Bye, Jinyoung.”

“Bye.”

---------------------------

The PTA fundraiser left you drained of energy.

You would much rather have dealt with a hundred kids at once than with a handful of parents. At least kids could be made to see reason, they could be convinced with a little bit of logic (however flawed). Adults, on the other hand, believed that they knew best and that things had to be done exactly the way they wanted. Adults were unreasonable. Adults liked to throw around their authority.

You had never wanted to get into bed so badly.

You stayed back late to clean up after the fundraiser was over. It wasn’t required of you, but it was something that you somehow ended up volunteering to do. All the other teachers had families to go home to and kids to take care of. You only had an empty apartment.

Asking them to stay back instead of you felt selfish.

You slung your bag over your shoulder and trudged out into the parking lot to see that the bicycle racks were empty. Shit. Had Jinyoung forgotten to leave the bicycle behind for you? Where was he?

You pulled out your cell phone and then sighed. Damn Park Jinyoung. He didn’t even have a stupid phone. It was far past the time that Mr. and Mrs. Park would have gone to bed and you didn't want to wake them by calling them. But your apartment was too far to walk and you would have to pass by the pub; you had no interest in meeting the town’s drunkards alone in those narrow alleys at midnight.

You sighed and dialled another number.

“Jackson, hey. I’m so sorry, I know you just left a little while ago, but…”

-------------------

It was 1am when you heard a loud banging on your front door.

You had just finished taking a shower and were getting ready to slip into bed when the noise began. Your heartbeat racing, you grabbed hold of a kitchen knife quickly and then slowly approached your door.

“Who’s there?” you yelled out, voice shaking.

The voice that replied was muffled. “Jinyoung!”

Jinyoung? At this time of night?

You opened the door carefully. The first thing that hit you was the awful smell; Jinyoung stank of sweat and cheap beer. His eyes were red and his face flushed as he looked at you almost wildly.

“Are you okay?” he demanded, grabbing your shoulders to look at you properly. His hands were trembling and he seemed unaware of how loud his voice was. “Are you all right? I was looking for you everywhere!”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Wow, you’re drunk.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry- I’m so, so, sorry-”

“How about you come inside before you bring my neighbours running over with all of your noise?” you snapped. You had little patience for drunks, and knowing that Jinyoung had been out getting drunk instead of returning your bicycle did not please you. “Where have you been?”

Jinyoung stared at you helplessly, his arms waving around as he spoke. “I-I was just going to get one drink, I swear. But it led to another and I totally forgot about your bike and I was so scared that you might have walked home because I know that path passes by the pub and it’s not safe-”

“Relax,” you told Jinyoung as you guided him gently towards your couch. “I didn't walk. I called Jackson, he drove me home.”

“Jackson? Wang? Why? Are you guys close?” he asked, plopping down heavily on the couch.

You shrugged. “He’s a good friend.”

Jinyoung paused for a moment and then hung his head quietly.

“We used to be good friends.”

You looked down at Jinyoung properly. He was a wreck. His dark hair was a tangled mess and the light blue dress shirt he was wearing was wrinkled with a beer stain on it. There were even large sweat stains under his arms; he’d probably cycled all the way here in a panic.

And he’s one of the Most Eligible Bachelors under 40. If only the magazine had seen him like this.

“We’re still friends,” you told him lightly. “Although it wouldn’t do any harm to return my bicycle when I ask for it. Do you want a glass of water?”

Jinyoung blinked at you dazedly. “Do you have beer?”

“Absolutely not. Haven’t you had enough?”

His lower lip pouted slightly as he stared down at the floor. “I’ve been drinking all evening but I haven’t reached the point where I feel good or forget about my problems yet. In fact, I keep thinking about them even more. How about a cigarette?”

“You will not smoke in my house,” you told him with a firm glare.

To your surprise, Jinyoung suddenly smiled. It was only a gentle curve of his lips but you spotted it and frowned at him with your arms folded across your chest. “Are you feeling proud of yourself right now? Do you think your behaviour is something to laugh about?” you demanded.

Jinyoung looked up at you softly. “No.”

“Then why are you-”

“Because this is the first time you’ve given me that look since I came back,” Jinyoung admitted quietly. His voice trembled. “This is the first time you got angry at me. You don’t seem to get angry at me anymore.”

You didn’t understand. “Why would you want me to be angry at you-”

“Because you have to be angry with someone before you can forgive them. You have to first admit that they hurt you or that they did something wrong, and only then can you begin to repair your relationship,” Jinyoung whispered. He looked up at you and you could see the tears brimming in his eyes. “So tell me honestly. Have you forgiven me already?”

You swallowed. “I was never mad at you to begin with-”

“You’re lying.”

You clenched your fists as your heartbeat thudded. “I’m not lying. You’re drunk. You should drink some water and you can sleep on the couch-”

Jinyoung looked up at you, his eyes bloodshot yet surprisingly clear. “You are lying. Either you’re lying or you’re not the same girl I remember.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because the girl I knew wouldn’t have pretended to forgive a friend to spare his feelings. She would have grabbed me by the shirt, looked me in the eye, and said Park Jinyoung, you’re an absolute bastard for leaving me here when I was having a hard time. She wouldn’t have spared my feelings. She would have expected me to be there for her because that’s what friends do. They count on each other.”

You closed your eyes. How had Jinyoung seen right through you? Even after 10 years, how could he see through you like you were made of glass?

“I’m not angry,” you tried to tell him slowly, even though you weren’t sure who you were convincing anymore. “Because I never expected you to be there. You were busy and I had no expectations-”

Jinyoung scoffed. “You’re lying again.”

“I’m not-”

“You are. Friendship is when you help someone, because you trust that they would do the same for you. What you’re doing for me isn’t friendship. You don’t trust me anymore. If you have no expectations from me, then that’s charity!” Jinyoung spat out. Tears were brimming in his eyes and his voice was choked. “Is that what I am to you? Charity?”

You clenched your fists and let out a small, humourless laugh. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”

“What?”

“Where the fuck do you get off accusing me of treating you like charity? After what you did?” you snapped.

Jinyoung stared at you blankly. “Tell me.”

Your throat closed up. You didn’t want to talk about it. You didn’t want to drag yourself back to what had been the lowest point of your life, especially not in front of Jinyoung. You didn’t know who he was to you anymore. How could you open up to him?

“I can’t,” you muttered. “I don’t want to talk about it, Jinyoung.”

“Please,” Jinyoung whispered. “Please. At least tell me I was a terrible friend for not being there. Tell me I was a terrible friend for not even knowing about your mother.”

You took a deep breath and sat down, your knees feeling weak. You had never imagined that you would have to sit next to Jinyoung and say these words to him while he was drunk. Yet, as his dark eyes pierced into yours, he looked more sober than ever.

“It was my fault she died,” you whispered, shakily. “I know how hard my Mom worked to raise me. I know how much she struggled after my Dad passed away. The doctor told me her heart attack was probably caused by stress- years of it. She was growing old but she’d never even gone for a health check-up because we couldn’t afford it.”

Jinyoung stared at you silently.

“I needed someone to say this to back then,” you admitted quietly. “I needed someone who would listen to me and who wouldn’t try to convince me that it wasn’t my fault or that I didn't do anything wrong. That’s what everyone kept doing. They kept trying to comfort me but I just wanted someone who would listen. I wanted you,” you mumbled.

Jinyoung only nodded. His hands reached out to take both of yours. He grasped them tightly.

“I knew you were busy, but I always had this hope that maybe you would come to the funeral,” you whispered. “I thought… surely, whatever I did to make you cut me off, it wasn’t so bad that you wouldn't even turn up to my mother’s funeral. But the truth was that I couldn’t grieve properly because the hospital was hounding me about the bills, I…”

You took a deep breath. You hated thinking about those moments. You had felt so helpless and alone, backed into a corner. “I don’t think it even sank in that my mother was dead until a few days later,” you mumbled. “ I spent the first day wondering how the hell I was going to pay the hospital bills instead of thinking about her. Your mother tried comforting me, she told me it would all be fine and that she would call you for help.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes; tears were clinging to his eyelashes.

“She did,” he mumbled.

You felt the walls around you come crashing down as you looked at the broken man in front of you. You remembered how badly you’d wanted to see him then, how much you’d craved his comfort. You remembered how furious you had been when you realized that Jinyoung had abandoned you.

“I thought you would call,” you mumbled. “I didn’t want to disturb you but at the same time I trusted that you wouldn’t leave me alone at a time like that.”

Jinyoung’s voice was soft. “I’m sorry.”

“It would have been better if you hadn't done anything at all,” you mumbled. “Maybe then I could have forgotten about it in the mess that I was going through. But you didn’t. I got a call from your secretary the night before the funeral.”

Jinyoung lowered his head. His hands were trembling even as they held yours and you could hear his soft sniffle. “Shit,” he muttered, his voice thick with tears. “Shit, I can’t believe-”

“I thought you’d finally called. But it wasn’t you. I had to hear some strange woman tell me over the phone that Park Jinyoung is sorry he can’t make it to the funeral but he sends his condolences,” you choked out. You smiled humorlessly. “As if I was some distance acquaintance you barely knew. You sent me your condolences through your secretary.”

“I didn’t- I didn’t know it was you…”

“And then she told me that if I would just email her a copy of the hospital and funeral bills then all the expenses would be taken care of,” you mumbled. “She said that she could send me as much as I needed, no limit. I was so embarrassed. I wanted-I wanted to tell her that you could go fuck yourself and that I didn’t want your condolences and your money. I wanted to refuse so badly, but…”

You hung your head in shame. “But I couldn’t,” you whispered. “I couldn’t say that to her because it was true. I had no other way of paying those bills. So I sent her the details and I let you pay for them. Whether you know it or not, you paid for all my mother’s hospital bills and funeral while I sat here and wondered how I had become such a worthless daughter.”

Jinyoung’s hands clasped yours so tightly that it hurt. His shoulders were shaking and you could see the sobs racking his chest. “I didn’t mean to-” he sobbed. Jinyoung’s tears landed on your clasped hands. “I didn’t mean to, I swear…”

You slowly removed your hands from his. “I have the accounts,” you muttered. “I’ve been saving up to pay you back. It might take me a few more years but-”

Jinyoung flinched. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s not open to discussion, Jinyoung.”

“Don’t say you’ll pay me back, please-”

“I will pay you back,” you said firmly. You took a deep breath. “You know why? Because I might be able to forgive you for not being there when I needed you. But I will never, never forget how cheap I felt the moment I ended that phone call. So don’t talk to me about charity; I know how it feels to be on the other end of it.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes. He felt light-headed and blank as he thought about everything you’d said. No wonder you didn’t consider him a friend. No wonder you couldn't bring yourself to be honest with him. No wonder there was something fake and forced about your every smile.

Jinyoung hadn’t just messed up.

He had destroyed something precious to him without even realizing it.

“It’s late,” you mumbled after a brief silence. “You should go to sleep. Here, just; make yourself comfortable on the couch and I’ll get you a blanket and some pillows.”

Jinyoung swallowed. “I-I can’t…”

“You’re not going anywhere at this time of night while you’re drunk,” you told him. You pushed him lightly so that he leaned back against the sofa. “Stay put. I’ll be back. I think we’ve talked enough for tonight.”

“Can you just promise me one thing?” Jinyoung asked quietly.

“What’s that?”

“Even if you don’t consider me your friend anymore, even if you’re just being nice to me because you’re that kind of a caring person… don’t give up on me completely.” Jinyoung looked up at you desperately. “Please. Tell me that I can fix things. Tell me I haven’t broken our friendship and my life beyond repair.”

You looked down at him. Lying on your couch in his crumpled dress shirt and the beer stains, Jinyoung looked pathetic. Perhaps it was because you’d finally let out all the resentment you’d been bottling up for so long. Perhaps it was because, looking into Jinyoung’s eyes now, you could see that he did care. But you suddenly didn’t feel so hollow anymore.

You didn’t feel so lonely in your pain.

“Everything can be fixed, Jinyoung,” you told him softly.

“Even us?” he mumbled.

You nodded. “Even us.”

“Even me?”

“Especially you.”

Jinyoung slowly closed his eyes and you went into the other room to get him a spare pillow and a blanket. He let you place the pillow under his head and snuggled into the soft blanket. You turned to switch off the light when you heard him mumble.

“You know something?”

“What, Jinyoung?”

“I thought that the most unbearable thing about being fired from the company was all the effort I’d put into it. I thought I couldn’t bear it because I’d done so much for it for the years,” he said slowly.

You blinked at his curled up figure under the blanket.

“But it’s not?” you asked.

Jinyoung shook his head. “It’s not how much I’ve done for the company that I can’t bear. It’s how much I sacrificed for it.”

-------------------

#got7 #got7 scenarios #got7 scenario #got7 angst #park jinyoung #got7 jinyoung #jinyoung angst #jinyoung scenario #got7 imagines #got7 drabbles #got7 series #got7 fanfiction #jinyoung fanfic #jinyoung my youth

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georgialouisea · 6 years

Text

Meant To Be - Part 9

Pairing - Jared x Reader, Jensen x Sister Reader. Word count -1079 Warnings - Fluff, swearing.

Part 8 - Masterlist

Life in Vancouver was amazing, life with Jared was beyond amazing.

Ever since you were little you’d hated being the one singled out, you hated being the new girl, moving school or getting a new job was your idea of hell. The girls at supernatural made you feel at home, they were honestly the nicest girls you’d ever met, they didn’t seem to care that your brother was one of the stars of the show.

“Did you manage to get that email out?” Jo asked shutting off her computer.

“Shit no, completely forgot.”

“Want me to stay and help?” She paused at your desk on the way out.

“No, it’s fine, I have the details written down somewhere, get home to your boyfriend.”

“Don’t you have to get home to yours?” She perched on the corner of your desk smirking down at you. You’d only ever given her and Lizzie small details and they were more than intrigued.

“He’s working late today, so I’m fine, go home and enjoy your date night.”

“You sure?”

“Positive Jo, go enjoy your weekend I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Enjoy your weekend Y/N.”

“You too JO.” Watching her leave the room your attention turned back to your screen.

“Y/N/N?” Jared whispered from the doorway behind you. “You ready to go home?”

Turning to face him your eyes adjusted to the lighting change. “What?”

“You done?”

“Give me like five minutes.” Turning back to the screen you finished up the email you should’ve sent 6 hours ago, trying to ignore Jared spinning himself around in a chair behind you. “Okay done.” Shutting down your computer you could finally head home with Jared.

“Baby?” Jared mumbled as he shifted on the couch.

“Yeah?” Looking up at him he paled slightly.

He sat up straighter. “Okay, I haven’t told you this yet but on Thursday I’m gonna be on Ellen.”

“Jare that’s amazing.”

“You might not think that in a few minutes.”

“Why?”

“You love me right?” He paused, nodding in response he smiled at you. “I want to tell everyone I am in love with the most beautiful, amazing, smartest, funniest woman I know, that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I love you.”

Nodding you smiled up at him. “Okay, yeah, we’ll go official.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m one million percent sure Padalecki.”

“Oh thank God.” His head dropped. “I thought you’d say no.”

“Why? When I love you.”

“I didn’t think you’d want people to know yet.”

“Jare, I’m tired of sneaking around trying to hide our relationship, let’s just tell everyone.”

“You’re sure?”

“So sure.” His arms wrapped around you.

“You’re happy with me announcing it on the Ellen show?”

“Yeah, I am, you have an interview and if you really want to talk about me it’s up to you.”

“I would talk about you every second of every day if I could.”

Jared’s flight back to LA was delayed due to bad weather, he’d planned to be home hours before his interview was aired. A knock at the door pulled your attention from the cereal advert, praying by some miracle it was Jared, opening the door Jensen stood in front of you.

“Why’re you here?”

“Because.” He took a step into your apartment closing the door behind himself. “I know what you’re like and as soon as people know you’re going to panic and Jared’s still in the air, so I’m here and we’re gonna watch it together.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the couch.

“Mr Jared Padalecki!” Ellen introduced as the audience clapped and cheered.

Biting your lip you tried to suppress the smile as he waved at the audience.

“How are you?” Ellen asked as she sat opposite him.

“I’m great, how are you?”

Ellen nodded with a smile. “I’m good, you’re living up in Vancouver now aren’t you?”

“Yeah I am, it’s a lot colder up there than it is here in LA.”

“You’re up there filming for the new show Supernatural right?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I am.”

“So tell us what the show’s about.”

You watched Jared explain the premise of the show adding in little stories of his time on set with Jensen.

“Do you two get on well?”

“Yeah, we do, we’re both from Texas, we watch the same shows, listen to the same music, it’s been easy to get to know him.

“So it’s not uncomfortable playing his brother?”

“Nope, he already is like a brother to me.”

“That’s good to hear, now I have to ask, you’re a very attractive young man.” The audience whooped. “Alright.” She waved a hand trying to calm the women down as Jared chuckled. “Are you seeing anyone?”

Jared blushed, his head dropped trying to hide it. “I am actually, we’ve been together for nearly a year now, she’s amazing.”

“Will we know who she is? A fellow actor?”

“No actually she’s not an actress, she works on set behind the scene in the admin department, she’s so smart half the stuff she does I’d have no idea how to do.”

“Is she watching?”

“Yeah, she’ll be watching with Jensen.”

“Oh have they become close too?” She asked with a furrowed brow.

“No, well they’ve always been close, Y/N is Jensen’s sister.”

“Oh wow, is he okay with you dating his sister?”

“Yeah, I mean he’s said if I hurt her he’ll rip my lungs out.”

Ellen chuckled moving on with the interview.

“That wasn’t painful was it?” Jensen smiled down at you. “You okay?”

“Yeah everyone knows, everyone loves you on set this isn’t going to change anyone's opinion of you trust me.”

“I know.”

The front door opened behind you. “Hey.” Jared walked in dropping his bag by the door. “Have you seen it yet?”

“Yeah, we have.”

He walked around the couch to face you. “And are we still together?”

“Of course we are, why wouldn’t we be?” Looking up at him you punched Jensen’s thigh making him move up the couch so Jared could sit next to you.

“I haven’t seen it yet, I can’t remember what I said, I could’ve said something stupid.”

“Everything you said was perfect.”

Jared’s arm wrapped around you. “Good.” He took a shaky breath. “Good.”

“Were you actually worried that I’d leave you?”

“No.” He scoffed.

“There’s only one issue now.” Jensen sighed.

“Which is?”

“When Jared’s found with his lungs ripped out they’ll know I’ve done it.”

Part 10

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