#welp here i still am

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia x

How fast could you finish a fic, from start to to finish, if you didn't work on anything else and had so other commitments and just didn't start posting until it was done? It took me over two years to finish my long fic whilst I was writing and posting it chapter by chapter. Then I joined a creative writing course and we were challenged to start and complete a full story within a certain amount of time. I didn't post while I wrote this time round and I finished the entire thing within three months which is wild to think about. I've just started posting the fic I wrote now and don't have to worry about future updates. Do you think you could write a full fic or most of a fic before posting it or is it something that doesn't interest or work for you?

Hi hi anon

Do you think you could write a full fic or most of a fic before posting it or is it something that doesn't interest or work for you?

I mean yes, because this is literally the process of novel writing and I've published two. They're in my pinned post!

But I hated doing it this way.

I know I can write an entire work before doing anything with it because I've done it before. But I hate doing it that way and honestly anon, if I enjoyed doing it this way I would not be giving y'all free original serials, I would've taken all of that directly into novels and I'd have around 30-40 (if I included my fanfic in that, it'd be up to about 60-70) published by now and there's a high chance I'd be way more successful financially than I am now and actually like...able to afford all of my bills.

But working this way - writing ongoing serials - suits my ADHD, and I really enjoy doing it this specific way, so I do. The day I start enjoying writing full works more than ongoing serials I will disappear into novel writing because with a backlist of the kind I could generate with my wordcount, I'd be like...

I'd be living a very different life.

And I cannot tell you how much I've resented/hated that I don't enjoy writing full works before putting them up / publishing, because I know that's the biggest barrier in the way of more tangible success as an author for me (not just financially, but also among my peers who just value books more than web serials).

But yeah, did it, didn't enjoy it, and haven't done it again since. Now what's more likely is that I will spin novels out of already published serials.

How fast could you finish a fic, from start to to finish, if you didn't work on anything else and had so other commitments and just didn't start posting until it was done?

Honestly it takes me a lot longer if I'm not putting it up.

So I know from experience (From the Darkness We Rise) that I can write a full ongoing serial without focusing on anything else in about 3~ months. I mean if we look at my monthly wordcount average, I write around 35-50k per month, sometimes up to 90k if I'm excited enough about a project or have an unusual amount of energy.

Longer serials take longer because they're, well.........longer. x.x

But if I'm not putting it up at the same time, and it's a long original story, it will sometimes take me several years. Don't underestimate the brutality of needing to manufacture dopamine with ADHD. This job is ADHD compatible in a way that novel writing isn't for me.

(That being said, I still wrote Blackwood and The Gentle Wolf pretty fast because they're short, and I was writing serials alongside and the dopamine helped carry me through. But imho, it's still a longer process and it's a lot less enjoyable. And the publishing process takes me way longer and I enjoy that a lot less too).

(Just because I can do something doesn't mean I want to, or that it's sustainable).

(I was completing novels by the age of 12, tbh. Completing stuff isn't the issue and never has been for me (behold the field of my finished once-WIPs), but how I release that stuff determines how much I enjoy writing).

I've just started posting the fic I wrote now and don't have to worry about future updates.

I don't have to worry about future updates either!

That's the thing when you've completed every serial you've started (barring two, which were deliberate choices) in a 10 year period, to the tune of 5.5 million words, is that you just stop worrying about future updates.

This is something I really don't have to worry about with anything, because I know that I'll complete my stories. Having that kind of faith in my own writing is fun.

There's upsides to having a story finished before posting it online, but I will say there are some cons too:

You can't live in the moment in the same way as your readers. When you're all experiencing the excitement of an unplanned story together, that's a feeling that, imho, is not topped by any other publishing feeling to date. It's enthusiastic, absorbing and awesome.

You can't pivot based off reader feedback. I don't let most reader feedback influence plot, but every now and then I get a level of feedback that lets me know to focus more or less on something in a very organic way. Characters like Mikkel would only have appeared in one chapter if it weren't for readers. I cannot tell you how many times readers have helped me go 'oh this character needs to be in this story more.' From The Raven Prince to Kadek, reader enthusiasm took a bit-part player and drew them more into the story. Hell, even Dr Gary would not have gotten chapters to himself with Efnisien in Falling Falling Stars without that reader feedback. You just can't pivot at all unless you're willing to do rewrites, and that doesn't seem as much fun to me.

Writing one's self out of cul de sacs with the pressure of a deadline is actually a lot of fun for me.

You actually can still write a few chapters ahead (which I do for many stories these days) while still not having the story finished. I'm about 2-8 chapters ahead on almost all of my stories depending on the story itself. I may be close to 10 ahead on Underline the Black.

Others I'm forgetting about. But I know I wanted to say something about length, and also about deep characterisation. No one will prompt deeper characterisation exercises than readers who ask questions you will never think to ask as you write something in an ongoing way.

(All of this is obviously dependent on actually getting feedback if you post a serial chapter by chapter and write it on the go. I am very lucky to get this kind of feedback by the best readers. Serial writing isn't fun at all if no one is interacting).

I make the choices I make anon not because I can't write in other ways, but because I don't enjoy it, and because I genuinely feel like writing this way makes me a better writer. I like the stress and the pressure of the job, and I enjoy it.

I'm glad you've found something that works for you, and it does mean that like, if you write enough novels (if that's a direction you want to go in) you're likely to end up way more successful than I ever will! And that's a great place to be. *high fives*

[anewp0tat0]

i lied i had like atleast one more weston thought to expell from my brain, before i miss this boat entirely. we're heading to green lands woooo

[c-kaeru]

Jealuc skinny dipping shenanigans (that I drew 6 months ago)

[meamiiikiii]

kagepro day...

[icebrooding]

I keep joking to my partner abt Mabon being that one 'super affectionate' friend because damn is he just everyone's bff

[chrisbangs]

i finished thesis, won an award, and have graduated.. hello 👋🥸

[fell-is-suffering]

oki...i am genuinely flabbergasted-

and this is what i woke up to?? /lh /vpos

man..best thing ever lmao-

[curious-l1ght]

Hm.

[aeb-art]

so i made myself sad with this one actually oopsies

mall toons belong to @8um8le 🙇

[punkinspice]

If you don't mind my asking, are you still Christian? I have seen your posts over time about leaving cults and whatnot, and I was curious how that impacted your faith.

Hello! I don't mind you asking at all, and I am happy to talk about it, it's just that it's a very touchy, complicated, controversial and long answer that I don't always know how to answer it in a way that makes sense. (this may get really deep)

If I were to be 100% honest, I will admit that I personally no longer believe in or identify with being a Christian or the Christian faith.

As to what I believe in currently, or what I'd call myself now? I really don't have an answer to that. I guess you could say I'm currently leaning more towards being an agnostic and sometimes atheist? But honestly, the things I may agree with today, may change tomorrow. and I'm sure the things I will believe in currently will be completely changed in a year. And.... I am ok with that. I want to be questioning and to have an open mind to things, opinions and questions and to have the permission to be wrong and to change my mind on things as I learn new or more information.

This is not a choice that I've come to easily, or glibly. It's been a process I've been in the past 3 maybe 4 years of my life, and I think in the last year is when I've chosen to leave the faith. It's a place I never thought I would be in and it's involved a lot of pain, confusion and trauma and healing in my life. There is a whole ton more I could go more deeply into, but I don't feel this is the right post to do that, and I don't quite have words yet to explain or describe everything.

As far as the cult thing goes, there were and are a lot ways that I was raised and taught to believe in, that by definition, was a cult. There were a lot things that were abusive and still traumatize and cut into me deeply and I am in the process of recovering from and untangling the things that were taught to me and it still brings up a lot of trauma for me, of which I am thankfully getting help for.

I also joined a well known Christian organization around the age of 21/22, and was in it for over 2 years, until Covid hit and I had to go home. And the more time I was out and after a ton of research and studying, I will be honest and say that that organization is a cult, and it did leave a lot of mental and financial wounds on me that I am going to be recovering from for a long time. Did I learn a lot from that experience and grow from it? Yes I did, but it is an experience and chapter of my life that I am glad is over.

I know that from the short examples that I've given it's really easy to say that that really wasn't true Christianity, or it was just people poorly misrepresenting the word and love of God, or worse, blaming me and saying that I was never a Christian to begin with, which I can't even begin to explain how much and how deeply into the faith I truly was, and how hurtful that allegation is.

...And maybe all of that is true... And maybe it isn't....

There is a lot of pain, betrayal, anger and grief that I am still healing from and will be healing from for years to come. I don't want to live in a state of bitterness and anger and blame of the things that were done to me. But I also want to admit and be honest about the wrongs that were done to me and the abuse that was done to me in the name of Love.

I need time and separation, but mostly I need love and understanding. It's one of the most painful and isolating experiences I've ever gone through in my life, and so utterly earth shattering and life changing and most of the time you can't even talk to your family or friends about it because you are so afraid of the way they will react and what they will take away from you.

A lot of this is very surface level of my journey through this "deconstruction" of faith if that's what you want to call it. There's so much more that I could go in depth in, but again I don't always have the words or mental fortitude to really get into a lot of things.

If you still have questions I'll try my best to answer. I know this is a really sad and hard thing for a lot of people to hear, and yeah.

It is sad. It's devastating.

There are days I wish could go back to the way it was, or that I could fully go back into the faith.... but I can't. And, despite the excruciating pain and grief that I've been going through, I ironically feel so much more freedom and peace than I ever did in religion. Which I know is hard to comprehend... it's hard for me to explain.

I'm sorry for the ramble and the heaviness. But I guess now's as good a time as any to finally admit this about myself and where I am at.

My final thought is to please have so much grace and understanding to people in your life who are going through a similar process to me. If you have friends or family in this same process, please just be kind to them. They didn't ask for any of this, and many times these doubts and questions came from things out of their control, and they're simply trying and surviving the best they can. There is so much pain there that I'm sure they haven't expressed to you because they are afraid of losing everyone and everything that they love, simply because they do not believe in the same thing anymore. So just love them, and hold space for them and don't argue or defend, as that will only push them away further. And also be open to them. They may have very important and valid insights to things that you may have become blind to. If you really believe in a loving, kind and gracious God then he would be doing those things for these people 10 fold.

[teabutmakeitazure]

Tbt Chide 🤝 Dissimulation Childe

-> Both have a thing with testing their darling's blood.

Vampire Childe on the side: 😯

Dissimulation! Childe does it again shamelessly while TBT! Childe feels disgusted with himself. He'd stop being shy if reader saw him do it and didnt care but until then, he'd turn as red as a tomato if he was ever caught.

Would it be bad if I told you vampire Childe may or may not have committed a bit of cannibalism as a form of love. Even so, he doesn't have a blood kink. Ironic, isn't it? If he ever saw you bleeding he'd start crying because he's afraid you'd die.

[sovaharbor]

what did i do to deserve an ibs flare-up at 11 pm.......

[bluedudewithatude]

———- Hey

Is this thing o̴n̴?̶ ̴I̴s̵ ̷a̶n̴y̸o̷n̸e̵—̷-̷ ṯ̶́h̴̰̀ẽ̴̠r̸͚̋ḛ̶̏?̶͎͛

F̵͚̒.̶̦͠ ̸̳͝ṟ̷͝.̷̖͝ ̶͓͐0̶͉͠.̵̜̏ ̷͔̔N̸̢̕ ̵͈̓.̷̠͐ ̴̀͜t̸̢̚ḭ̸͌ ̶͓̅E̵̬͛ȓ̸͉ $̶̙́

—̷-̸ ̵C̵o̸m̸e̷ ̸o̶n̴,̸ ̵w̵o̴r̸k̸ ̵w̵i̶t̵h̷ ̶m̴e̵—̵here!̵ Ah! There we go! Finally!

Hey, guys! S' been a while! I know I've been kind of all over the place and doing some different things... but hey. You know me!

No one can get rid of me that easily!

[mallowmaenad]

Patricia Taxxon has released 6+ hours of quality music in the span of a few days i hope shes having a good day maybe one where she has a decent nap and eats a good meal

[bread-lady]

It took seven whole hours of work and me almost breaking all my fingers in the process but it's done and I'm proud!!