#weve barely had time to call

[thetobaccotornado]

thats mine.

-tom kaulitz

warnings: nothing, just fluff!

synopsis: tom was sat next to his twin brother bill on the stage of a talk show, with the host who was interviewing them, along with his co-host, some busty blonde girl who was getting on his nerves.

“well… no i havent found anyone yet..” bill started, answering the interviewer’s question. “im just focusing on my career at the moment you know?” he said turning to tom with a smile. tom huffed and looked down to his fingers, fiddling subtly.

toms pov:

“so tom..” the co-host spoke. “how about you? weve been seeing photos in the press lately of you and y/n l/n getting pretty handsy, whats the go there?” she said with a smug yet disgusted look on her face. she leaned forward, attempting to push her breasts up to make her cleavage more visible. she pursed her overly glossy lips, tilting her head to the side slightly, flicking her hair over her shoulder. it was obvious what she was doing. and honestly? it was funny that she was trying so hard. she could never compare to my beautiful y/n.

“well actually, weve been dating for a year now, im surprised you havent heard.” i chuckle lowly, looking to bill and back to her, watching her expression drop, rolling her eyes. “well” she huffed sitting back up, “what is your relationship like behind veiw of the paparazzi? not so perfect then no?” she sneered, jealousy clearly written all over her face that was caked with cheap makeup.

i sat up in my chair, my jaw clenching slightly. “actually, things are perfect, she’s been working on her solo career a lot, but shes been touring with us recently, i honestly cant stand being apart from her for more than a day at a time.” i said proudly, looking her dead in the eyes with a knowing smirk, seeing the anger bubble up inside of her. “you should hear them at night on the tour bus, the rest of us barely get any sleep because of how hard the bus shakes” bill laughed, nudging me in the arm and leaning back in his chair. “especially after the vmas, that night was crazy” he spoke, exhaling deeply and looking over to me wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

the interveiwer fixed his composure. “right! the vmas!” he said, displaying a photo of me and y/n at the vmas behind him, where she had won an award for best junior artist of the year. the live studio audience started clapping, as the interviewer leaned forward. “how did you feel about y/n winning her first award at the vmas?” he spoke with a peppy tune, much more interested than is co-host, who was blatantly just trying to get in my pants.

“im honestly really proud of my girl, shes been working so hard, and all of the hours she put into her passion finally paid off. my highlight of the night was honestly just seeing the smile on her face when she got called up.” i said, beaming as i thought about my beautiful girlfriend.

“and her look! killer isnt it? really accentuates her features, no?” the interviewer beamed with admiration, looking behind him at the screen.

the picture showed y/n, wearing a beautiful red silk dress, hugging her curves perfectly, holding an award, and me standing next to her with a hand wrapped around her waist, pulling her close to me, planting a kiss on her cheek as she smiled widely at the camera. i sat there for a moment, remembering how her smile lit up the stage as she was accepting her award.

“yeah”i said turning to bill with a smile, then back to the interviewer. “absolutely breathtaking” i smiled.

“thats mine. all mine.”

a/n:

just a short lil fluff peice, im honestly sick asf rn, so i havent been writing as much, but expect more to come soon!

MWAH!

xoxo

-T

[gossipgirlgasoline]

HEYY!! big fan of this concept, returns the chaotic 2000's vibe to F1 that it so desperately needs 🤭 Your last post was so well put together! Any new gossip yet?

gossip girl here, your one and only source into the ultra-rich, scandalous lives of race car drivers of formula 1.

hello my lovies. welcome back to the world of gossip, scandals, and drama! how have you guys been? ive missed you terribly since the last time we’ve spoken. since weve last spoken, carlos sainz jr and lando norris has both won grand prixs. how exciting! how dearly ive missed carlando .. today we will dive into all the drama we’ve missed since then after my brief disclaimer !

before i start, if ur not into truly gossipy stuff— THIS IS NOT FOR YOU!! this will go into territory of wag gossip, silly rumours, and other cheesy stuff like that. you have been warned.

lets start off with an anonymous submission, alluding to a comment i made back in an update about estelle and ollie. i mentioned murmurs of flavy snd esteban being a pr couple, lets see what anon #1 has to say.

“in my humble opinion flavy and esteban seem like the least pr and most mature couple on grid. they post eachother because they’re in love and live their lives calmly without making a fuss. i mean she rarely is at gps (bc she’s a med student, but also let’s not demonize the wags for not wanting thousands of eyes and an onslaught of criticism that being present at a go brings) and they are barely photographed by the paps like charles & alex. they give off the same vibes as oscar and lily, cute imo.”

i love this take!!! i totally see where anon is coming from and agree as well. i didnt see it like this, but this is a beautiful pov. i def see why u see that him and flavy are the healthiest, and i agree, but i would also add maybe kika and pierre to the mix? taking on your point that they pos each other since theyre in love and they have nothing to lose there, i could def apply the same logic to them. plus i think they are super cute and they feel genuine to me. + carmen and george probably too.

anon #1 also added this to the end of their submission;

“with that said i wanna know what you think/know about logan’s potential girl! any ideas on what she does? who she surrounds herself with?”

for those of you who dont know, logan sargeant has been allegedly dating a chick named “riley whittall.” i think it is notable the fact that her father is chuck whittall, business man who’s net worth amasses an astonishing $600 million dollars.

i remember hearing about her all the way back in november. i totally forgot about her until a couple months ago, a tabloid i follow on instagram reported on the fact that they have been in many of the same places at the same times. for example, logan posted a bali post on 27/03/24, riley posting a dump days after logan, coincidentally in the same place, with the same filter, with the same angle.

hmmmm

HMMMM….. a quick trip to her instagram today will show you a post of her at australia, in the week of the australian grand prix with chicane wristbands, as well as a story posted earlier today of her at the grand prix.

i cannot for the life of me find the exact screenshot, but i had a friend (her family works in similar business with riley’s father) send me a message of a mutual friend of hers saying that riley was a “pick me.” the message was saying that some of her friends had tried to hit on logan but she got very defensive and start being like ‘im so small’ around him and trying to make her friends look bad. 👀

for those of you who did not see my last post, i recieved an anon submission regarding riley, let’s take a look!

“lots and lots of drama rn... riley and logan just got together and already drama brewing. basically a pretty well-known wag's best friend/someone she models with posted on her private instagram a tiktok that was seemingly demeaning riley whittall. a gossip page dmed her and got screenshots of the best friend AND said wag calling riley bratty, disrespectful, narcissistic, and the b word..”

I NEED TO FIND THESE SCREENSHOTS NOW OMFG!!!! im so nosyyy and I love new drama… this is so messy and im here for it

as for what this girl does besides vacation and thrive off a trust fund, i have no genuine idea. i think shes unemployed, living off daddy’s money but i dont blame her at all. its not like me and my friends not guilty of this 😭

on the topic of logan, i got sent in shady screenshots ahhh!!!! 🐒🐒🐒

logan being a trumpie and an anti masker doesnt surprise me at all 😂 makes so much sense, idk what people expected out of him— hes a floridian white boy, we cant ask for much😭

moving on to my favourite bit of this post and arguably the most controversial f1 couple, Magui Corciero and Lando Norris!

for background information for those who live under a rock, Magui is a Portuguese model who is most notable for dating Portuguese footballer João Felix. Their relationship and break up were rather messy and even more public. Magui is notoriously hated by JF meat riders for cheating on JF multiple times after he gave her multiple chances, leading ro their break up.

I wont get too into detail this post because the lore is so deep but for the ones who do

👀👀👀

Recently, a Portuguese tabloid uploaded photos of Magui and Lando boarding his PJ

This ‘couple’ has notorious for being problem and quite troublesome recently, the pair showing up to the Monte Carlo masters together recently

This being one of their many scandals is not surprising at all since they have been caught together lord knows how many times now😂

what’s your guys’ opinions on riley + magui and lando? let me know in my inbox and the comments!!! 😇

Speaking of messy, let’s talk about my blog 😭 im so sorry I’ve been so inconsistent with you guys, but tysm for everyone sending anons and the constant support♥️♥️♥️!!!!! And Im so sorry this post is so short I’ve. Been having a lot going on rn!!!! summer is approaching so not to worry

I love you all so so much and I want to have a new post for IMOLA regarding LOTS lissie mackintosh and Marcus armstrong drama.. (iykyk) eeeek im so excited to share with you guys… I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!

Remember that my inbox and dms are always open to everybody and you can dm me about anything!!! even non f1 related. Just shoot me a message and I will probably reply😇

until next time race-watchers, xoxo, gossipgirlgasoline

[wolfisland]

im genuinely not clever or knowledgeable enough to offer a meaningful contribution to the discussion around palestine beyond what i can say i feel and what i see, but i just think its so jarring to witness one of the greatest acts of cruelty and violence in human history in real time bombarding you on all sides on most media.

and like... it feels like so few people actually care. like life is going on all around us and it feels like it shouldnt work that way. like everything should stop until theres an end to the violence but instead theres like sports and news and music and movies and all of these things that feel like they shouldnt be able to be happening at the same time. all of these incredibly regular things just used again and again as vehicles for propaganda to justify the extermination of palestinians.

and suddenly its "too political" if someone does the absolute bare minimum of saying they support palestine.

when i think of just the years surrounding ww2 i cant think of anything but the violence inflicted by fascist governments. its like everything else from those years almost doesnt exist because its overshadowed by genocide. like everything else takes a back seat.

and now we're just in real time going to work and getting up and going to sleep or buying lunch or calling our family or friends and just all of these incredibly normal things and that feels so fucking unfair. that thats being denied to people and its like if you put your phone down for a second its like you dont have to look at it and it doesnt feel fair that that can happen. that its even possible to look away. i can go pick up my medication tomorrow. today who knows how many people will die because israel has destroyed every hospital they could.

and its been happening for 75 years. i was 14-15 when i first heard of zionism and when i did, it was from the mouth of a zionist. i had no idea of the levels of disgusting and vile it was. even now i think my brains struggling to comprehend that this is still happening and so many people are literally outright supporting it or denying it. it feels like im in fucking upside down world but thats just the world weve been living in for fucking ever apparently

its not a new concept, but its never been so televised. and somehow the rest of the world can just sit and watch i guess. its fucking sick. why do we get to just delete an app if we want to look away? how is anyone doing that?

[kalims]

rating my moots,

cause why not?!

note that I didn't add everyone since I felt too shy to tag em aksbsnna

1. @kalimsstan

9/10 because I've never had a fan account before, the interview was very fun and I cackled when I saw the AMOUNT OF TAGS USED WHEN I CHANGED MY THEME AJSBSJ

2. @ravenlking

9/10!! guys meet my editor in quotev. raven is very patient and fun to talk to ☺ its always a great time where we manage to strike a conversation together

3. @not-idia-shroud

10/10. ah yes, rain. remember when we literally never chat at the same time in discord? BYE I BE WAITING FOR A RESPONSE AND WHEN I GET IT ITS THE NEXT DAY

4. @v-anrouge

8/10. because we actually haven't interacted much and we mooted when I saw that they follow me and I followed them in turn cause they seem like a cool person!

5. @twistedlotus

7/10. IDK WHEN THIS HAPPENED HLP UMMM... HI ELARIA U HAVE A NICE NAME??? 😭

6. @a-hollow-angel

10/10. I swear they work a full time job liking all my posts 😩 like I fr post once then I get a notification immediately.. it doesn't matter when it happens,, THEY JUST DO JT

7. @merotwst

11/10!! ellie da best and I've known her for like.. LESS THAN A MONTH?? A MONTH?? MORE THAN A MONTH?!?!? idk man basta. she had big lady balls if steel (which she said somewhere in discord I just don't remember the specifics)

8. @myujis

10/10. vivi i miss u 🥺😭.. anyways yh I actually got confused on who myuji was then I saw it was vivi and went: OHH

9. @akiville3

12/10 MISOOOOOOO HIIIIIIII <333333 NEED I SAY MORE?!

10. @hytyyto

8/10. HEYOOO I barely do talk with yall and am sorry but I'm very busy.. 😭 PLS TALK TO ME IF UCAN I WILL TALK WIT U <3

11. @yuistan

8/10. not as close as well but I will spoonfeed my moots a handful of chicken soup you know.. unless other soup if you don't like chicken 😚

12. @spadecentral

9/10. very nice, sends me sweet stuff 🥺 ngl highkey keeps confusing myself who ellie and eli is.. 😭

13. @malleusball

10/10 one of my longest moots ever! we go WAYYY BACK even in the most atrocious times I don't want to remember <3

14. @kerosenesin

10/10. I THINK U IS DUST?? LEONALOVER69???pls I double checked if i mistook u as someone else again.. SAY LEONA IF UR THEM

15. @chenyann

10/10. yako i started panicking when I didn't see ur user on my following page but turns out I was just being blind. anywaysss ily

16. @twstwonderlandstuff

8/10. AYEEE ANOTHER FELLOW WRITER! on a side note, when a blog I like follows me you know I'm following back ASAP, destroying the screen type shit

17. @zgvlt

13/10. IDK WHY BUT NATHYA IS JUST 13 POINTS. I love her works sm as well as the graphic designs of her posts!! it's so aesthetically pleasing to me eyes I'm cryin (the one follow I could NOT GET OVER FOR DAYS)

18. @riddlesimp

8/10. ANGELLLL HALLOOO we haven't talked much despite us being moots for a long time ong 😭😭 angel is very sweet and apparently my daughter in law

19. @zeina-is-bored

2/10 (/J) MINUS SIX BECAUSE YOU DIDNT INVITE ME TO THR WEDDING. ☹☹☹😞😞😞😞😭😭😭😭😭😭

20. @rggie

11/10. if there's someone other than nathya with amazing graphics it's definitely mal. I can see the effort put into her theme!! gods I swear all of her blog is all connected to one theme and I love it!! IS U OK THO BABES??

21. @arent-i-the-fairest

8/10. cutieee!! love the works, I love me a bunch of neige works I can binge read <3 every1 should appreciate the rsa writers I swear

22. @achy-boo

1/10 (/j) I swear the friendship we have is so chaotic, WEVE INSULTED EACH OTHER MQNY TIMES AND CALLED EACH OTHER BITCHES QKSHKAKQ

23. @dicetheroll

8/10. see you soon dice! good luck on your finals.. when i first followed dice i immediately ran straight to the OM!works once I saw they wrote. It was AMAZING

24. @scara-lovebot

9/10. you are the one that shaped our minion coochie gc theme <3 my most prominent memory of you was the minion tampons era

25. @jabberwockk

8/10. chris :o was the one that answered me patiently when my dumbass didn't go to google for a fat answer when I asked for the birthdays of the characters.. we had a crisis about being broke together

26. @soldmygenderforglitter

9/10. I MISS U BAEEEEEE.. ilysm for talking to me in dms in tumblr for nearly everyday! I'm so sorry bout the late replies sometimes t-t I hope ur doing well babes

27. @celiapoststuff

10/10. MY CHILDSDDDDDDDDDD who adopted ME instead of the other way around lololol. love ya celia and your like for xiao and kalpas

28. @dr3amscap3

3/10 omg we haven't talked so long bt I GIVE U A 3 (JOKINGLY) BECAUSE U STARTED THE RICKROLL ROSA CHAIN AND NOW I CANT GET AWAY FROM RICK ASTLEY AND THE RICKROLLS 😭😭😭

29. @ravynous

1921739/10. THE BEST PERSON I SWEAR. RAVY ILYSMMMN <333 ur always there for me and so supportive.. how are you doing bae 😭💞 I hope ur kicking finals ass instead of the other way around

30. @raix-lv

1038171/10 REMEMBER WHEN WE MET THROUGH THE NEIGR ARTICLE JEEZ THAT WAS SO CHAOTIC. anyways, I can definitely say rai is one of my closest moots. GIRL WHERE HAVE U BEEN

31. @hxnarii

192911/10 we became moots after my vent post I think?? I thought u were really nice & kind so I followed u. GODS I DONT EVER REGRET MEETING UR RANDOM BRAIN (also ty for the pjsekai acc yknow yknow <3)

32. @nanamisflowerfield

11/10. OK LISTEN WE BARELT TALKED. the last thing I remember is the manhwa reccs but nanami is so sweet I swear YOU CAN SEE IT ON HER BLOG ITSELF SHES SO NICE

33. @honey-milk-depresso

192719/10 MY FIRST EVER MOOT AND YES I REMEMBER. I've seen honey around when I was writing for genshin her comments were so sweet! even though she keeps denying her love for the three men I still love her <3 mwa

34. @cynthinesia

9/10. I had to edit to add u SRYYYY UHMMM WERE U THE CATER PISS BOTTLE SOMETHING PERSON

35. @cupids-chamber

-12028/10 JOKES ON YOU IT ISNT BEST FOR LAST 👿 you never forget to remind me of the rickrolls (aka bane of my existence) THR AMOUNT OF CHAOS IN UR SERVER I SWEAR. DONT THIK I FORGOT THE TIME WHERE I JOINED ONE OF UR SERVERS AND IMMEDIATELY GOT RICKROLLED NOT EVEN 5 SECS IN

THERES MORE BUT NABSKA

gods did I have that much moots

[luckyqueenreign]

Tbh what I really miss about the earlier seasons is how well Fb used to write MC close/best girlfriends. Season 1 we had Talia, who didn’t actually force herself on MC for the whole season (Dana take notes babe!) Season 2 we had Hope, Lottie for all us Noah girlies. Season 3 we had Elladine and Genevieve (who even if you were persuing Harry at the start still wanted to be your BFF). Even season 4 wrote Angies storyline SO WELL.

Now I don’t understand what happened tbh. I don’t even want to talk about ex in the villa, but this season I feel like MC is really lacking actual friends? Amelia is a snake, Grace is a paranoid bitch who doesn’t know when to call it quits with Ozzy, and you only see Bella most of the time if your open to dating girls.

Anyway, my point was I’m really REALLY manifesting that Flo is actually there to support MC and be her friend? She is coupled up with amelia’s old partner, so I doubt there will be any couple/ boy drama between us, and I could use a girl BFF that takes the hint and doesn’t want to shag me in the hideaway, but also has a good romatic story line for the W/W girlies. FB do better!

do you know what I like even more and also miss about the game. Outside of Elladine none of these girls were my besties. Which means that the game had so many routes you could take that we both had completely different experiences. For s1 lowkey Tim was my BFF lolol I loved that guy. s2 was Priya/Chelsea I was SO SAD when I had to decide between one of them to dump. I was Hope's bestie when I did a Lucas route and she was SO DIFFERENT to when you're on a Noah route. I absolutely loved her and she is def on the top of my list for besties. s2 just ate period. s3 was Elladine who I loved sm. s4 I loved Angie but this was the beginning of us not having choices when it came to our friends which tbh I didnt like. we barely saw Najuma if you weren't doing a WLW route which is super disappointing. s5 is the season that shall not be talked about lol. And now we legit have no friends again, esp if ur on Ozzy's route. Grace gives me whiplash. bc its obvious that something is happening between MC and Ozzy, she also recognizes it and talks about it often, shoots MC daggers but then in the same breath asks mc so who do you like?!?! u think u'll stay with Elliot??? bih what??? LOL this doesnt even make sense a TINY bit. then u have Amelia who is an absolute snake and doesnt even deserve the title of friend let alone sister. All the while we have Bella who is actually lovely but we never get to see if ur on WLW. The very brief moments weve gotten to interact with her im like I LOVE HER. LET HER BE OUR FRIEND! I fear the same thing is going to happen with Flo. 😭😭😭

[liliththeladyliker]

Call Of The Void - The Rail Yard Ghost

we carry in our hearts the home we never had through the cycles of lives we have lived

born of the flesh and bone our souls, the eternal traveler of worlds and realms, tells us of traveling the beyond

our homes are not made of concrete

we live under the open sky, pouring rain, and shining starlight, finding depth in empty spaces, and life in the complexity of silence

the beauty and sadness in fleeting time and all we cannot hold

weve rebuilt with worn hands using the dirt from underneath our fingernails and other remnants of the past weve collected to help tell the tale of ourselves as the pieces escape our grasp

we sleep in a bed of memories for the people and places we love that we can no longer reach

an insatiable desire with in us for the intangible.

the bricks are eachother yet ever fading

we feel the ground beneath our feet so vividly only to watch it diminish as if it was never there suspended above all we charish as it fades away like we must on our own singular journey into the unknown

Chasing remnants of shadows sleep between worlds, entangled at the edge of a cliff and the berries and brambles, so sour yet so sweet

Dearly departed, may death not make you stiff my friend

For we come from the trees, our branches, our bones stretching outwards

Root works of viens, flesh, leaves, and bark

I am leaving, embarking on a new journey for the light we leave behind travels on, into the darkness

Do you remember?

Remember when the stones collected under our stories? before we were asleep

on couches of punk houses, skipping matches in paper thin cities

remember when the stones conjured incantations of the deepening night?

we weaved pur wild web, entwined with bare hands, bare feet, a home in the unknown, our world between worlds

no compass, no guide, our path of strings blowing in the wind

can you hear thier voices, now? the songs of our dead? alive only in the stories and in the bones we carry

thier ashes tattooed on our faces, whispers of our scattered tribe on this earth. they ramble on, and we ramble on to unearth the songs of the void

Do you remember? We were one with the dirt.

Breathing with the airs drinking in the rains

With the fire, we raised into the night

I never felt more strange in my life

Then right now

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

We Embeck Our Voice To Nature

The Songs The Wind Whispers Of The Dead

The Mountains That Were Made Of

Sands And Stones In River Beds

Taking Just The Memories

A Favorite Song, Places Weve Slept

Leaving It All Behind In Bodies Fighting The Void, Into The Den

Can We Racall? Stories Whispered From The Stars During The Deepening Of Night

The History Of Who We Are

Weve Beaten Our Adventure

Wed Never Know If We Dont Weep

Never Find That We Dont See

To See Must To Believe

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

We beckon on the deep days

For loyalty to the dead

Forcing them to stay

Untill loaded in the night

we sing these songs

casting for us [-]

[magnoliamyrrh]

even in the context of an american discourse and not slavery in the world this blows my mind. what about all the (mainly) south americans that have their papers stolen or passports or have no papers and are barely paid or not paid at all for grueling work, threathened w violence or no food or deportation? you know, that modern day south american slavery which actually keeps a lot of the economy of this place going, especially the agricultural economy? what about sex trafficking??? hello? sex trafficking, that thing thats actually a hugeee issue in this country which affects mostly women and Girls, kids for gods sake from poorer and at risk communities (oh wait sorry, we call that a conspiracy, or progressive sex work bs nowadays and supporting the industry dont mean ur supoorting and benefitting slavery to jack off ur useless dick)?? what about how the clothes we wear and the technology we buy is unfortunately often made possible by slavery in other countries??? the minerals in our technology the people which make our clothes?

i swear the most we get is "the prison system is modern day slavery" and yea sure but damn actually theres a lot more going on than that too. outside of that like i swear were always going on about here about slavery as this thing of the past and surely the legalized slavery in this country of africans and indigenous ppl (which everyone forgets even while we talk abt reparations in california, a state which never had african slavery but had indigenous slavery) and the indentured servitute of irish ppl (which eveyone forgets were also sold and treated horridly, many times killed or never freed, also brought against their will) (while everyone also forgets some black ppl owned slaves and not just to save family members, some indigenous ppl owned slaves, and most ppl frankly regardless of race did not own any at all),,,, , , like surely the history is absolutely bloody horrible and painful. But What About T O D A Y. NOW. TODAY. In the year of our lord 2023 WHEN THERES MORE SLAVES THAN EVER ON THIS GLOBE. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABT THE ONE WEVE GOT T O D A Y

[are-my-ocs-ta]

aita for getting my friend hospitalized?

i (f 17) and my friend (m 16) met in our 1st year of high school. we were in the same math class, and we became friends quickly after being seated next to each other. when we started talking more, he started telling me about his past trauma. it was so horrifying that by the end we were both crying. i felt so awful for him. he told me that he confessed everything to his parents and that he was starting therapy soon. i told him that i was proud of him, because thats a very difficult thing to do. a lot of his past habits have changed, and i noticed that he was eating more, smiling more often, and wasnt as sensitive to people touching him or complimenting him.

recently weve had a break off of school, and i barely saw him during that time. i was at cheer camp, which meant we barely had time during the day to meet up, and every time i texted him he would just ignore it. i was starting to get worried about him, so when he finally texted back around a month into our break, i was ready to see him again. we made plans, but when i came over to his house he didnt seem to remember ever making plans with me. i noticed a few things were off with him, signs that he may have been eating too little or not taking his medication. i touched his shoulder by accident, and he broke down sobbing, which is when i realized what had happened. he got back in touch with his abuser.

i went home a while after that, because it was clear what i was trying to do to help was only making things worse. i told his parents that something was off about him, and they said they would look into it. a few nights ago, really late into the night i got a text from him telling me how much he loved me and i was such an amazing friend. i never sped faster in my life. since it was so late i was able to get there very quickly, and found him pretty much bleeding out on the floor. it was disturbing. i called the hospital and they were able to get to him in enough time. it was decided that he needed more serious mental help, and he ended up getting sent to a psychiatric hospital.

yesterday i got a hand written letter from him, saying that he hated me and he never wanted to talk to me again. it was a long story, but he didnt want me to try anything and blamed me for the situation. i feel awful. ive lost my best friend, and i wish there was some way this whole situation could have been fixed. his parents told me that its a nice place and that he'll come around, but i dont think he'll ever want to see me again.

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

Hello :) Welcome back to another episode of Smol Copy-Pastes A Ramble/Rant From Discord And Calls It A Tumblr Post. This week, we’ll be looking at one of my Crying Over Nishiki sessions which ALSO became a full on rant against Kazama! Whoo! Here we go, gonna be another ‘read more’ cause a) spoilers, and b) reeeeally long unhinged ranting about fictional men :D

“LOOK I COULDVE FIXED HIM, EVEN AFTER HE SLAPPED REINA, I'D HAVE BEEN LIKE 'LISTEN BBY I LOVE U IM HERE FOR U BUT GET YOUR ASS BACK OVER THERE RIGHT NOW AND APOLOGISE TO REINA!!!!!'

BUT NOOOOOO EVERYONE JUST HAD TO DECIDE TO BE A HUGE BITCH TO HIM AND BECAUSE THE DUMBASS LASHED OUT AT ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE HE HAD LEFT AND PROBABLY FELT LIKE HE COULDNT GO BACK AND APOLOGISE CAUSE I THINK HIS SELF ESTEEM IS ALREADY LOW ENOUGH BY THEN TO NOT EVEN THINK HE DESERVES HER FORGIVENESS AND THEN YUKO FUCKING DIES BECAUSE KAZAMA IS A FUCKING SHIT DAD AND EVERYONE IS A DICK TO HIM UNPROMPTED AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

point is i want to rip Kazama's spine out with my bare hands

hate how the game acts like he's so cool and good when he's really not he failed his kids so so badly ACTUALLY NO THEYRE NOT HIS KIDS HE'S THE ENTIRE REASON THEYRE ORPHANS”

(at this point I moved to the spoilers channel to continue my Unending Kazama Hatred)

OKAY SO TIME TO SCREAM ABOUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER KAZAMA AND HOW THE GAME SUCKS HIS DICK do you have ANY idea how much i hated when they go to Tojo HQ so Tachibana can pay em to leave his sugar baby alone and the old fucker who weve never seen before is like 'u know i'd have paid a billion yen for Kazama when he was ur age. are u worth that much? are u as good as him?' LISTEN HERE CUNT HE IS A BETTER MAN THAN KAZAMA EVER WAS AND EVER WILL BE!!!!!!!

WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHIN SEEING AS HE'S REALLY ANNOYING IN THIS GAME like okay i get it Kazama is a yakuza and ex-hitman i EXPECT him to have done bad shit and it's very nice he set up the orphanage n all but it also isnt cause like bro you murdered these kids parents!!! and idk anythin about their life in the orphanage i'll admit but as an active yakuza i cannot imagine him being the most hands-on, tender, loving parent ever, yknow? ALSO ALSO like i know he tried to stop Kiryu and Nishiki becomin yakuza im just saying YA COULDVE TRIED HARDER MATE!!!! THEY WERE SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD, THEY WERE CHILDREN FOR GOD'S SAKE. KIRYU WAS LIKE 'WHY WONT U LET US BE LIKE U YOURE A YAKUZA U GET A COOL CAR AND PEOPLE RESPECT U LET US TRY AND HAVE THAT' YOURE LETTING HIM SELL HIS SOUL TO A LIFE OF CRIME BECAUSE HE WANTS A FUCKING CAR?????? I DONT CARE HOW STRONG THEY WERE IN THAT FIGHT YA FUCKIN SIT THEM DOWN AND GET RID OF THE ILLUSION OF GLAMOUR!!!!! TELL THEM THEYRE WORTH MORE THAN JUST GRUNTS WHO ARE GOOD WITH THEIR FISTS AND NOT MUCH ELSE, ONE FIGHT IN THE RAIN AND YOURE LETTING THEM JOIN, ABSOLUTELY FUCK RIGHT OFF WITH THAT 

AND THEN HE'S SHOVING THEM OFF TO ANOTHER FAMILY BECAUSE OF SOME POLITICAL BULLSHIT IDK BUT FINE FAIR ENOUGH YA DONT WANNA PLAY FAVOURITES BUT I FUCKING HATE THIS WHOLE 'OH SEEMS DISTANT AND UNCARING BUT ACTUALLY HE THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING AND HAS THEIR WELLBEING IN MIND' I JUST- JUST FUCK OFF!!!!!! 

MAYBE YA SHOULD PLAY FAVOURITES WHEN ONE OF YOUR CHARGES IS DYING VERY QUICKLY AND HER BROTHER HAS NO ONE FOR SUPPORT. INSTEAD OF FUCKIN LETTING THE GUY THEY APPARENTLY SEE AS BIG BROTHER FUCKING REPRIMANDING THE GUY CAUSE HE CANT GET CONTROL OF OR RESPECT FROM THE PEOPLE YOU ASSIGNED HIM AND SEEMINGLY KNEW THEYD BE DIFFICULT!!!!! HOW IS MY BOY MEANT TO ""PROVE HIMSELF"" WHEN HES DEALING WITH THE TRAUMA OF TAKING A LIFE (EVEN IF THE FUCKER HAD IT COMING), THE GUILT OF LETTING HIS BEST FRIEND TAKE THE FALL, AN ACT OF PURE KINDNEES IN CONTRAST TO HIS OWN BRUTAL IRREVERSIBLE ONE, THE STRESS OF TRYING TO SAVE HIS SISTER WHO IS DYING (MAYBE CONTRIBUTE SOME EXTRA CASH KAZAMA??? MAYBE???) AND DEALING THE AFOREMENTIONED DISRESPECTFUL FUCKERS AND LASHING OUT AND HURTING THE ONE PERSON HE HAS LEFT AND BURNING THAT BRIDGE, AND THE GIRL HE KILLED A MAN FOR HAS LOST HER MEMORY AND VANISHED (WHICH YOU HELPED WITH KAZAMA!!! YOU KNEW SHE WAS SAFE!!!!), 

AND THEN THE GRIEF OF LOSING HIS SISTER FOR NO. FUCKING. PURPOSE. HE SOLD OUT HIS REMANING MORALS, HIS PRIDE, ANY RESPECT OTHERS MAY HAVE HAD FOR HIM ALL TO SAVE HER AND IT FAILED. HE WENT THROUGH ALL OF THAT ALONE. YEAH I'D HAVE FUCKIN TURNED EVIL AS WELL!!!!!!!

im not sayin Nishiki is fully free of blame, obviously, he made his choices, and murdering Reina after using her love for him to further his own ends AND killing Shinji and ALL of the shit he pulls in Kiwami, yeah, completely fucked up, horrible, his choices, he did that shit. im just saying that i dont know, maybe if ya wanted to step in at any point in the last ten fucking years Kazama (preferably before that too), ya couldve and fuckin SHOULDVE”

I’ll be honest with ya lads, I stand by every word of this cfvgbhnjkgvbhnj

[traumatizeddfox]

mmm am i bad person for wanting to leave one of my closest friends. weve been friends for years eve helped eachother through trauma abuse and more but lately i just feel awful whenever we talk. hes my best friend but all he ever talks about is his girlfriend and her friends when we have small talk and e barely hang out now cause hes always with her, and even when we do hang out he always has to leave cause she needs him.

im not even mad or frustrated i just feel left behind. i love that hes finally happy and that they are both happy but i just feel like a shadow or a ghost invading his space taking up his time. plus we had a bad fight over personal life business awhile ago and im still not over it. i know we made up but hat he said hurt and i still feel like im to blame hen he was the person who made the off the cuff comment that started it.

i just feel like i leech or like the last choice or option. he onky calls me when hes crying and needs help and i have to be the one reaching out when i wanna hang out, and half the time i have to spend time with his gf who is lovely and i dont have anything against her but sometimes i just wanna hang out wwith my friend but instead im just a third wheel.

gosh i hate having stupid teenage problems

its not a stupid teenage problem, i still have these issues too as an adult! I would suggest talking to him abt feeling left out, if not it doesnt make u a bad person for not wanting to be his friend!

[cosmossystem]

❄️, for the ask game!

ask game

thank you for the ask, ill be answering this one (-red)

❄️ Do you have a favorite memory related to your system? (i.e. something that happened in headspace or something that another member did.)

(lotta memory questions lately) (guys i barely remember what i did yesterday) (help)

umm ok heres one i personally like. i had to rummage around our logbook for the exact dates because it has been many moons since then, but this is what i remember:

vann & an unnamed headmate, who for our purposes i will call hook (she/he/they), historically have not gotten along. they are friends now, but it wasnt always like this.

back in the earlier days of our system discovery (like circa-2017) hook was kind of a chaos magnet. one reason (of many) i say that is because back in the day she would constantly pick fights with headmates. and by that i mean they would literally spar with people in headspace and start lighthearted arguments with everyone if she was anywhere near front (which is why im calling them hook.)

side note: fighting might be a big issue for other systems, but its not like that for us. everyone up here generally gets along and abides by the rules, and weve only ever had 2 or 3 actively harmful headmates-- hook is not one of those and we all love her.

our "fighting" and arguing are more of a recreational hobby-- kinda like rap battles where the goal is to win, not to actually hurt the other person-- and this is because being around the same 40 people every day is boring as hell and we are melodramatic people with too much free time. injuries heal quicker in headspace and no one can really die, so when someones fighting, the rest of us just pull up lawn chairs and popcorn and watch it happen. like this:

as for our story, i think it was maybe 2021, at vann's birthday party. i dont remember exactly how things went, but i know that they were both fronting/cocon and doing the sort of half-jabs at each other that they always do, and then vann says something to piss her off and then she breaks his nose.

music stops, record scratches, blood on his shirt, etc. all the party guests were clamoring over ourselves like "wtf? it's his fucking birthday? you would hit him on his BIRTHDAY?" and she had to assure us that "no, he knew i would hit him, that's his fault". so they both apologize, but vann PROMISES her that he will get them back and she just laughs it off.

(mind you, dear reader: hook is an entire foot taller than him and built like john cenas understudy. vann, bless his heart, is built like the pillsbury dough boy.)

enter hook's karaoke-birthday party, later that same year. party dwindles to a close. everyone is chilling around headspace like normal. hook is chatting with me and vann, but i have to step away from front for a minute and pass it off to the two of them... and well...

from across the room i hear a CRUNCH and suddenly two of hook's ribs were broken. shes not even upset. shes kind of just in shock. i was told later that he was flirting with hook and hook, like the dumbass bisexual (/j) they are, fell for it. no one could even get upset because well, he did say he'd do it. so the two of them just laugh it off. hook gets patched up as always, no harm no foul.

and i think thats when they started being actual friends. they did date for a bit but to my knowledge they arent anymore.

i wish every birthday party was as eventful as those two. the good(?) news is that we dont fight much anymore so this is mostly in the past. the bad news is nowadays when we want to entertain ourselves, we do lip sync battles instead. (boooo bring back my medieval fighting entertainment)

-red

[babithyn]

august 27th, 2023

tw~ ed/mental health/rant

Its been a while… im currently 31weeks pregnant. this pregnancy has been extremely difficult.

Ive had a lot of stuff happen within the past four months. I moved in with my boyfriend. I got put on medical leave from work. My cars engine flooded. My mental health plummeted. My ED has reared its ugly head. Its just been a lot.

I feel like a burden to my boyfriend. He pays all the bills while all i do is sit at home. I have no source of income so i cant contribute to anything. I’ve been relying on my mom to pay my phone bill. Relying on my boyfriend to keep a roof over our head. all i can contribute is food stamps which i only got approved for last month.

In my 2nd trimester i started binge eating… im not sure if it was the change in my body or just my binge ED hitting me full force. but now that im in my 3rd trimester im barely eating one meal a day. Again i cant tell if its the pregnancy or my ED.

I fo know that my body dysmorphia is extremely bad at the moment. I cant even look at myself i. the mirror without crying. Logically I know im just pregnant but a voice in the back of my head is screaming at me that im fat and that its not just me being pregnant…

Im so sad all the time. And i honestly just want a hug and some comforting words. but i know i cant get that. My bf gets mad when i cry or even just say im sad. So at night when he’s sleeping i just silently cry next to him. or while he’s at work or the gym i sob uncontrollably.

We have some really bad fights sometimes that just destroys me. He says things like “i dont even really know you” or “you barely know me”… … … weve been together for almost 9months now. I’ve been so open with him from the beginning i even recently opened up to him about my ED when we first started dating. I try to tell him small stuff about me and it feels like he doesnt pay attention. He doesmt open up very much to me but i know a decent amount about him. of course we will never know everything about the people we love. there is always something to learn about the people we love and care about. shit im still learning things about my own mom and she’s my mom.

It sometimes feels like he doesnt want to be with me… like the only thing keeping him with me is our unborn daughter… which hurts because i love him so much… And recently he hasnt wanted to be intimate with me… which if course not only hurts but it makes me doubt myself. and i already feel ugly and fat but now… it just feels so much more real.

I crave affection from him so much that last night i had a dream that we went on a cute date. we got matching shoes and we held hands with each other and he called me pretty. but of course even my dream decided to attack me because right before i woke up a random person in my dream walked up to me telling me i was a horrible girlfriend. so my cute dream turned into a nightmare real quick. as per usual…

i miss my dogs… i know random and stupid to most people. but my dogs are my everything. i love them more than anything. Ive raised them since they were puppies. ive had dogs my entire life. there wasnt one second of my life where i didnt have at least one dog in my house.

And dogs lives are so short that being away from my babies for so long is painful.

October 24th, 2023

I never got to finish this post. I don’t remember why but I opened tumblr and it was the first thing i saw.

To continue what I was saying. I miss my dogs. And thats doubled even more now. Since writing this I’ve lost two of my dogs.

My 16 year old golden retriever passed due to old age. She wouldve been 17 this month. Ive had her since she was a puppy so even though it was expected it doesn’t hurt any less.

I also lost my 7 year old chihuahua. She got attacked by two other large dogs and the only way we wouldve been able to save her was with a $7k experimental surgery. I broke down and begged my followers on instagram, snapchat, and tiktok for help. But was only able to raise $50 between gofundme and cashapp. The next morning she passed and i was distraught.

Not only did i lose another one of my best friends but i still owed $3k in vet bills. I didnt take it well and a month later i still sob thinking about her. Shit i cant even type this without crying.

It’s been hard.

My due date is this saturday and im not okay if I’m being honest. I feel like im going to have really bad postpartum depression.

I feel lost. It’s hard to comprehend that im going to be a mom. That im going to have a little human dependent on me for the rest of my life.

Do that get me wrong, I love her. I love her so much already… but am i going to be a good mom? Am I going to raise her well? Are me and my boyfriend going to be good parents. Are we going to be able seal with the stress together?

There are so many variables that have me scared, stressed, and anxious.

On another note my body dismorphia makes me want to die. I have gained almost 70lbs this pregnancy. at my highest i weighed 248lbs. Ive lost 8lbs which i dont know how to feel about. So my current weight is 240lbs without fasting.

I hate it. And it hurts because I can see it. I physically can see the fat right bellow my gigantic baby bump. I can see the outrageous amount of stretch marks. I can feel the fat and stretch marks and not just when i tough them with my hands. The stretch marks sting, they feel like cuts on my stomach. It almost feels like fresh SH cuts.

This whole year has been traumatizing. This whole pregnancy has been traumatizing. Ive always wanted more than one kid but at this point i dont think my mental health could handle another pregnancy.

I have a feeling Im going to relapse with my ED after I give birth. I already have the urges to do so. Which isn’t good because I recently became hypoglycemic again.

To those who font know what that is. It’s pretty much early onset diabetes. Which was caused by my ED.

Ive struggled with binge eating, an0r3x14, and bul1m14 since the early age of 9. Going back and forth between the three on since.

That’s caused my blood sugar to be unable to regulate like a normal person. If I dont eat for longer than 5hours my blood sugar drops into the 40’s (normal is between 70 and 100) and when I eat the highest its gotten was 150 and thats after eating practically straight sugar.

So in simple terms my body produces to much insulin which can make me insulin resistant in the future.

i know this was long and all over the place. Especially since its months of stress thats piled up. I could type more but im honestly exhausted and will probably just make a separate post at a later date.

As always thank you for coming to my ted talk. Be safe take care of yourselves much love 🖤🖤🖤

[vexingsmoke]

this is mostly just me rambling - because its something that ive been processing sort of slowly - and i havent been around much to talk or write down any of my thoughts - plus its been heightened recently - especially since we recently started taking our adhd meds with more regularity - but the realization of being a subsystem - and veer fronting a lot - has affected me a lot - for multiple reasons -

one of the reasons is whenever we - the smoke subsystem - have been in front - its usually been veer instead of me - and obviously its not tyr fault - but it still kind of sucks - even before the weird system thing that meant nobody could really front properly for like a week - i essentially only got to front if we were having an episode that i get queried by - and when im having one of those episodes - its incredibly difficult for me to have the energy or thought to reach out or talk to anyone - which means i havent really gotten to talk to basically the only person i care about for more than a minute or two - and thats only when i get queried for a moment - i could basically only be in front for longer if i was very actively handling symptoms - or if i was barely in front - like im just doing my doodles - and thats the only thing im doing - and someone else is the rest of front - and its really hard for me and veer to both be in front at the same time - which means that i just dont get to front much - and when i do - im usually in the back of front - and cant really do anything - like as far as i can tell - by memory and by checking message counts - i have sent 3 messages since ty was discovered - aka in the past over a month - in the 3 ish weeks before that - i had sent around 200 messages - which is a lot seeing as i currently have about 650 registered - and the person with the highest in our system is a little over 3000 -

and the other reason - and again this isnt really something veer can control - but it fronting so much - has kind of ruined our ability to eat properly - especially me - i like eating food - i usually enjoy it - and have a wider tolerance than most others insys - but veer basically cant eat or even smell most food without gagging - and sometimes ty will gag so much that we will fully vomit - there are a few things that it can sometimes eat - but thats mostly when its being distracted or not fully in front - and when we arent on our adhd meds - but weve been on our adhd meds - and its been in front a decent amount due to one of its queries being pikmin 4 - which just sucks - like we have vomited more times in the past month - than in the past few years - and thats not including the amount of times its almost vomited - but either managed to not - or we just didnt have anything in our stomach to throw up - and so it just wont really eat much when its in front - but not eating also will make us nauseous - which makes it extremely hard to eat - to not be hungry - to be less nauseous - and this extends to when its not fully in front - but just partially - which makes it harder for whoever is in front to eat - and its just so infuriating - fun fact - i saved this as a draft because i was having trouble articulating my thoughts - and we were gagging into a toilet again within an hour -

all of this is complicated by my - - - internal emotions and relationship with veer - or maybe you could call them my exomemories - i dont know - neither sets of emotions are particularly good - but theyre both different -

a big reason why its consistently near front - is because a youtuber that we like a lot has been doing a recorded playthrough of pikmin 4 - and they upload episodes of it fairly regularly - and theyre all quite long - and we always watch them - and so veer just gets queried and stays for a bit after - which translates to it fronting for a minimum of usually 2 hours every time an episode is uploaded - which is a decently large chunk of our day -

i dunno - i just dont feel great - and im not super used to this specific way of not feeling great - usually my feeling not great is just feeling a gnawing hollow nothingness - and sometimes some psychosis stuff - but this is different - and weird -

[tiredestsleepiestgirl]

vent.

my partner and i r long distance. when we were getting to know each other online neither one of us wanted to be in any relationship ever but were doing like casual non monogamy irl.

we met in person and he got real weird about me talking about ppl id been regularly hooking up with and after i got back home and we made our relatinship official we also agreed to be basically monogamous. the exception being i wanted to be able to makeout with ppl drunk just 4 funsies, and even this had a lotta strings attached bc he was uncomfortable with it, i laid out that it could only be in public spaces and thered b no handsy stuff.

i wasnt a huge fan of the idea of being monogamous but i was willing to do it 4 him. i also said at the same time that i wouldnt mind if he did want to screw around a bit but he said he doubted thatd happen. cut to a like six months later and he's out clubbing and asks if im alright for him to go home with someone. i say yes thats fine and he goes home with a couple. later i say ive changed my mind and imbalance actually does make me uncomfortable and i dont want it to happen again and he says he's been thinking that he actually would be alright with me sleeping with other people while we're long distance.

now during the last six months since ive been back home we've been calling for multiple hours almost daily, first couple of months it was daily and then when i started working more itd be whenever i wasnt working so at least four days a week and on days i was working we'd still try to get in a short call. and i knew he'd get angsty when he couldnt talk to me over the weekend or if i was busy so id try not to make plans in the evenings too often. and ive been sick for like the last month so havent been able to spend time with ppl in real life. and he's been out more and more with this couple he's befriended.

and im happy for him bc he has trouble maintaining stable friendships and is often so lonely. and i was always the one that felt overwhelmed by calling so often when id had a long day at work or whatever. but now i feel. jarringly alone. and also like the only reason im allowed to sleep around now is bc he's find someone he wants to fuck and the second that changes itll b back to monogamy.

i care for him so much i want to hold him and protect him and i want him to be able to find friendship and community but god it sucks that im just stuck here in bed or at working just waiting for when he'll be able to give me attention again. im happy he's making friends and spending time with them i really want that for him. everything he's doing is stuff i want for him.

but also im out here working 5-7 shifts a week. to help pay for his visit in august. and our future visa costs. and waiting on him. and when would i even find time to sleep around. sunday night i was lying in bed after working my least favourite shift on the week on three hours of sleep and my chest rattling from my stupid chest infection and i knew he was out with his new friends so i didnt bother him.

monday another shift but he was barely replying to my messages all day even whenni said i was worried and didnt know if he was okay and then find out the next day that ofc he slept over on sunday night and spent monday with them. weve talked about that and he said hell tell me when he has plans but even that makes me feel so desperate and needy that's not my usual vibe. im just. ugh.

anyway he's just asked if he can spend the day hanging out with them today, my freeest day to talk of the week. and im a cool girl. i said im so glad ur having such a good time. im so glad u have friends and r working out (theyre going climbing), i hope ull be back in the evening for me? yesyes probably maybe? probably i will have him back with me tonight. coolcoolcoolcool. im gonna be working the next three days str8. the weekends r so busy for me. 4 shifts in 3 days baby. ill miss u ill miss u.

[n1ghtm3ds]

Since im already on it, stimulant ADHD medications do not “cure” ADHD.  I was diagnosed by an actual doctor over more than 8 hours of testing and my ADHD is in the 85th percentile of severity so theres no question of if i have it or not.  People may appear calmer on ADHD meds but what stimulant meds treat is the low baseline dopamine symptom that causes u to hop from one activity to the next seeking a dopamine hit by artificially flooding ur brain with dopamine so ur less likely to seek out stimulation and can concentrate on a single task.  It also keeps my other meds from making me sleep 18 hours a day because Im prescribed the same medical regiment as an unruly death row inmate. the adderall makes me a little extra sperg-ey and rant-ey but without it im a literal potato.  I used to abuse it in college for weight loss/pulling all nighters but I learned my lesson like I said I actually don’t even take my afternoon dose every day and some days I don’t take it at all and I never take more than what Im prescribed.  Like I said before u guys missed my druggie addict saga, and Im sorry u did because it was great and ud have loved it I was a complete mess but after shoving MDA crystals into my ass because I could no longer stomach them and going on week-long benders, drinking some green tea on my adderall for a little head buzz is hardly a blip on the radar.  If u consider my medication use to be problematic drug use/abuse uve never seen REAL drug abuse.  Like I said Ive done some stuff and some things back in the day to the point where I wasn’t even really expecting to survive until graduation and have to worry about how useless my degree was, Ive come so far and am so mild compared to who i was in my late teens/early 20s.  I have my meds, my weed, and the occasional bi- yearly dabbling when I come across a substance that I know is clean and decide to indulge (and even then I barely indulge.  The only hard drugs I can think of that Ive done in the past 5 years are a little coke at my friend’s wedding and the G of K that i split with B that weve had for months and still have 1/3 of and both those times it was only because I knew the substance had been run through a testing kit).  I don’t even drink, I think alcohol is the scariest worst drug there is, other than 2 incidents in the past half decade I have not touched a hard drug, like I said if I have any drug problem it is with weed which is like saying somebody who smokes cigs or drinks caffeinated beverages is a drug addict and even that Im in the process of getting medically legitimized.  Like I really did used to be a crazy wook drug addict eating strips of acid at a time and doing lines of a mystery powder i found on the floor of a festival and willingly downing a drink that had been laced with GBH (even joking to the guy who drugged and wound up assaulting me that he was a gentleman for “giving me free drugs” when he came back with the laced drink).  We used to steal chloroform from the chem labs and huff it on wednesdays and call it “Chemical wednesday“.  Like I said Im genuinely sorry that yall missed that saga im sure ud get endless lulz or keks or whatever from having that recorded but it wasn’t so sorry u missed out on it but after the things ive recovered from ur not going to tinfoil me as some wild drug addict for taking my medication more conservatively than it is prescribed any genuinely milky drug use is long off in the sunset.

[shittytitty-deactivated]

all i wanna do is go ab my day in the same space as my partner… like let me brush my teeth while he takes a shower or smthn? sharing space is my ideal relationship. let me come home after a long day and be able to exist in the same space as my partner. please