#what a time! days that do not feel real. going to process the emotion of excitement and extreme joy and hype later. slotting it in for 8pm.

[lilsoftext]

•~*BETWEEN THE FLASHES*~• part 2

part 1

-chris sturniolo x female reader

-summery: ??

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Sof woke up early, the light filtering through the curtains of Chris’s room. She lay there for a moment, listening to the gentle sound of his breathing beside her. Chris was still asleep, his arm loosely draped over her waist. Normally, she would have cherished these quiet moments, but today, her mind was spinning. Today was the day they would announce their relationship to the world, and she couldn’t shake the anxious thoughts swirling in her head.

She slipped carefully out of bed, trying not to wake Chris. Moving to the window, Sof gazed out at the early morning sky, her thoughts racing. *What would people think?* The questions were endless. She knew how much Chris cared for her, and that should’ve been enough to calm her nerves, but the weight of it all—the public’s reaction, the media’s interpretation, and most of all, Matt—sat heavy in her chest.

Matt had been quiet lately, and Sof wasn’t oblivious to his feelings. She could see the sadness in his eyes, the way he looked at her when he thought no one was watching. It was heartbreaking in its own way, and even though Matt would never say anything, Sof feared how this announcement would affect him.

She heard Chris stirring behind her, and before she could let her worries consume her any further, he woke up, smiling sleepily. “Good morning,” he murmured, his voice raspy with sleep.

Sof forced a smile. “Good morning.” She leaned down to kiss his forehead, then quickly headed toward the bathroom, not wanting him to see the turmoil on her face. “I’m going to shower.”

Chris watched her leave, his eyebrows furrowing slightly, but he didn’t press her. He knew something was on her mind, but Sof was the type to process things on her own first. He’d talk to her when she was ready.

---

Downstairs, Nick and Matt were already in the kitchen when Chris walked in, still stretching and yawning.

“Mornin’,” Nick said, pouring himself a bowl of cereal. “Big day, huh? You ready to finally make it official?”

Chris chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, man. It’s about time.”

Matt glanced up from his coffee, his eyes betraying the lighthearted tone he tried to use. “How’s Sof feeling about it?”

Chris sighed, leaning against the counter. “She’s a little worried, honestly. You know how she is—she doesn’t love all the attention, and this is gonna bring a lot of it.”

Matt nodded, his expression thoughtful. “Yeah, I figured. It’s a big deal for her.”

Before the conversation could go any further, Sof walked into the kitchen, her damp hair falling loosely over her shoulders. She smiled softly, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Hey, guys.”

Nick immediately perked up, sensing the tension but doing his best to keep things light. “Sof! You ready for today? Gonna be fun, right?”

Sof gave him a small smile and nodded, though Chris could tell she was still feeling off. He reached for her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “We were just talking about how we’re gonna do this. I was thinking a vlog would be cool, you know? Something natural. No big sit-down, just us being us.”

Sof exhaled, relieved that the plan was simple. “Yeah, I like that. I think it’ll feel more... real that way.”

Nick nodded enthusiastically. “Perfect! So, where are we filming this thing? We need a good backdrop if we’re doing the big reveal.”

Chris grinned. “I was thinking we go somewhere cool—like the forest, that spot with the mountain lake and the waterfall. It’s beautiful, and it’s kinda... I don’t know, mysterious. Seems like the right vibe.”

Everyone agreed, though Matt remained quieter than usual. He nodded along but didn’t say much, his thoughts clearly elsewhere. Sof noticed, and it only added to the mix of emotions swirling inside her.

---

They packed up and headed to the car, Nick excitedly grabbing the camera and turning it on as soon as they pulled out of the driveway. “Alright, guys, this is it! We’re going somewhere super sick today, and we might have a little surprise for you later, but you’ll have to wait and see.”

Chris laughed from the passenger seat, turning back to wink at Sof, who was sitting next to Matt in the back. She gave a small wave to the camera, but inside, her nerves were still buzzing. Chris sensed it and reached over to squeeze her knee, his touch grounding her for a moment.

The car ride was filled with chatter, mostly between Chris, Nick, and Sof. Matt, meanwhile, remained mostly quiet, his responses short but polite whenever Nick tried to rope him into the conversation. Chris caught his brother’s silence but didn’t comment on it, not wanting to create any more tension.

---

When they arrived at the forest, it was even more breathtaking than they had remembered. The towering trees gave way to a secluded path that led to a stunning lake, shimmering beneath the afternoon sun, and in the distance, the sound of a waterfall echoed through the trees. They all stood there for a moment, taking it in.

“Wow,” Sof whispered, her eyes wide. “It’s beautiful.”

Nick, ever the comic relief, grabbed the camera and pointed it at Chris. “How does it feel, bro? You about to make some history with this view in the background.”

Chris grinned. “It feels like the perfect place, honestly.”

They filmed a bit of them hiking down to the lake, with Chris and Nick goofing off for the camera. At one point, Chris even let out a wild scream, startling Sof and making everyone burst out laughing. It felt good to just be in the moment, even with the looming announcement.

When they reached the waterfall, everyone fell silent, the sheer beauty of it overwhelming them. The water cascaded down the rocks, mist rising in the air, and Chris couldn’t help but turn to Sof with a smile.

“Come here,” he said, pulling her aside as Nick continued filming some B-roll shots of the landscape.

“What?” Sof asked, a little confused.

Chris held up the camera like he was about to take a picture. “I want to get a photo of you here, for the vlog.”

Sof smiled and stood in front of the waterfall, but before she could pose, Chris lowered the camera, stepped up to her, and cupped her face gently in his hands. Without a word, he kissed her—softly, lovingly, as if telling her in that moment that everything would be okay.

Sof blinked in surprise but quickly melted into the kiss, her worries momentarily fading as Chris held her close. When they broke apart, he smiled down at her, his eyes full of warmth. “You’re amazing,” he whispered, just loud enough for her to hear. “And I’m so glad we don’t have to hide anymore.”

Sof’s heart swelled, and for the first time all day, she felt a sense of peace. They turned back to the camera, and Chris, still holding Sof’s hand, looked directly into the lens.

“Alright, guys,” Chris said, his voice steady but full of excitement. “So, we’ve got something we want to share with you... It’s official. Sof and I are together, and we’ve been for a while. We just didn’t feel ready to share it with the world until now.”

Sof smiled, squeezing Chris’s hand as he spoke.

Nick turned the camera back toward them, grinning. “And there it is! You heard it here first.”

Matt stood off to the side, watching quietly, his face unreadable. He gave them a small nod of support, but Sof could feel the tension radiating from him. She wished things could be different between them, but for now, she was focused on the moment with Chris.

---

When they stopped filming, the energy shifted again. Everyone piled back into the car, but the mood was quieter this time. Matt went straight to his room when they got home, while Nick eagerly started editing the footage for their next vlog.

Chris and Sof, sensing Matt needed some space, decided to head out for lunch. Sof was driving, the radio playing softly in the background as they cruised through LA. For the first time all day, Chris seemed completely relaxed. He glanced over at Sof, a grin spreading across his face.

“I’m really happy it’s out there now,” he said, his voice light with relief. “We don’t have to hide anymore.”

Sof smiled, her grip on the steering wheel loosening. “Me too. It feels... freeing.”

Chris reached over and intertwined his fingers with hers. “No more sneaking around. Just us.”

Sof nodded, feeling the weight of the day lift from her shoulders. The anxiety that had been gnawing at her all morning was finally gone, replaced by a quiet happiness. They drove in comfortable silence for a while, the city passing by in a blur as music filled the car, and for the first time in a long time, Sof felt truly at peace.

PART 3 IS COMING TOMORROW

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part 3 is the last one so don’t miss it. if you have any request of them down below.

lilsoftext<3

[likesummerrainn]

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[steampoweredskeleton]

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Ignore

[drchucktingle]

my masks

hey there buckaroos. due to all of the attention the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION situation has gotten i am going to take a minute to talk about my personal way as an autistic buckaroo. im going to tell you about my masks.

im doing this for a few reasons, some are good FUN reasons full of love and some are not so great. 

lets start with the GOOD STUFF. first of all, i am talking about this because speaking on my way can help other buckaroo feel more comfortable speaking on there own way, ESPECIALLY if they are good at ‘passing’ for neurotypical like chuck is. 

unfortunately the NOT SO GREAT reasons im talking about all this dang stuff are two fold. reason one: i have been put into a position of having to explain and justify my needs and boundaries by the TXLA. this is not something that i WANT to be taking up all of my time, but when large organizations do not make space for those who they have pledged to support, it puts us smaller buckaroos into position where were have to defend our existence. it is not plesent but it is necessary.

the second NOT SO GREAT reason is that ‘passing’ bisexual and autistic people like myself are ALWAYS just seconds from being gatekept from folks both outside and inside these communities. there will probably be a day on chucks deathbed where i take off my mask and say hello to this timeline (mostly so you can all see how handsome i am under here but I DIGRESS). i KNOW with absolute certainty (the same way other bi and autistic buckaroos are probably nodding along right now) that when that day comes i will STILL be accused of ‘not being real’ and ‘faking’ because i ‘dont look autistic’ and i have a beautiful ladybuck partner in sweet barbara.

ALL THAT IS TO SAY, i am taking a moment today to talk FOR THE RECORD about my neurodigence and my particular needs. hopefully i will not have to keep diving this deep every time an organization takes a discrimantory action against me, but i will also say this: at least it is a good fight on an important battlefield

anyway buds, here is the story of my way on the spectrum

when i was a young buckaroo i knew that my thought process was different. i could socialize easily, which is unique in contrast to many autistic buds (it is a spectrum after all), but my social ease was for an interesting reason. I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT OTHERS WERE ABOUT TO SAY. it was like a strange ‘human game’ where someone would say one thing and i would think ‘well you actually mean something else’ in a sort of logical way (this is why i later related to DATA from star trek so dang much). at first i remember thinking ‘well i am just NOT going to play along with this human game’. i quickly learned neurotypical buckaroos do not like this, that there is a BOB AND WEAVE to social interactions that must be learned. 

later i realized ‘actually if i WANT to make friends and prove love is real then i can do this like an expert because i can SEE the game where most cant’. this got chuck many buds and took me on many adventures. please understand, i am not saying these connections are not important to me, they are just different. they are full of love, but i express this in my own unique way.

HOWEVER, while growing up i felt disconnected from this timeline in other ways, like an alien or a reverse twin trotting along in a world that is not quite my own. i did not feel emotions the same way my buds did. they would get upset over the ‘human game’ interactions and i would not be moved at all, HOWEVER i could see the way sunlight hit a window and start crying my dang eyes out over the beauty. so my emotion was still there and VERY STRONG, i just felt it in more existential ways (like hearing the call of the lonesome train). these days that feeling has progressed to where i am pretty much in a constant blissed out state of cosmic emotional connection (make of that last sentence what you will, but it is the truth). when i make existential posts online i am not just FIRING OFF SOME CONTENT, i really mean every word. this is really my trot.

anyway as a young buckaroo these feelings made me worry sometimes. i thought about various mental health dianosises and marked the parts and pieces that matched with myself. am i this? am i that? sometimes, instead of just being’ different’ i worried i might actually be ‘wrong’. 

when i saw david byrne on letterman in my younger days i immediately recognized something connected to myself. i thought ‘wow this is the mystery being solved before my very eyes.’ i could hear it in the music of talking heads too. i started doing research and realized that i might be on autism spectrum, something that was later confirmed by a therapist (back then the diagnosis was called asperger's). it was a glorious and fulfilling moment. i was SO EXCITED TO BE AUTISTIC LIKE MY HERO. i felt very cool because of it, and i still feel very cool because of it.

one of the big reasons i talk so much about being autistic these days is because i want to make sure OTHER buckaroos can have that same moment that i did. they can see chuck and think ‘wow i really like this autistic artist, maybe being autistic is cool’

so what does an average day WITHOUT wearing the pink bag look like for me?

my thought process is exactly like ROSE from CAMP DAMASCUS, which is part of why i wrote the book. we have the same stim (complex order of finger taps), we prepare for social interactions the same way, we analyze things in the same logical trot that neurotypical people might think feels ‘detached’ but for me feels natural (certain reviews of camp damascus are very funny to me in this way. you can tell when a reader is just very confused by existing in an autistic brain for 250 pages.)

from the outside you would not be able to tell that i am on the spectrum. in fact you would probably find me very socially adept. 

the problem is, all of that masking can take its toll. i spent years trotting in and out the emergency room, talking to confused doctors who could not figure out the chronic phantom tension and pain that radiated through my body. i eventually accepted the fact that i would either live a life constantly on heavy painkillers or just stop living altogether.

eventually, however, i started noticing a correlation between the way that i felt, and the space that i allowed for chuck and the pink mask. i was exercising that tension, allowing my mental mask of neurotypical existence to take a rest. i started practicing physical therapy and this time THE RESULTS STUCK because i was approaching from two sides, MIND AND BODY. after a while, i got my pain down to about 5 percent of what it once was. i still have flare ups in times of stress, but the healing has been very real and life changing.

lets get VERY specific now. if i attended the TXLA confrence without a mask and gave my talk i can tell you this: i would do a dang good job. i can work the heck out of a crowd and (not to reveal too much about my secret way) I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THIS ON OCCASION VERY WELL. however, going home from this event i would very likely be in pain. i would likely need to do physical therapy. i would likely need to stim for a while. i would NOT be emotionally fullfilled in the same way. in other words, without my pink mask i can charm the heck out of buckaroos, but THE SPACE OF CHUCK TINGLE IS NOT THE SPACE FOR THAT. the pink bag is a place for me to not have to put up with that tension. it is a place for me to unmask mentally by masking physically.

this pink bag space SAVED MY LIFE and i am not going to risk blurring these lines. if and when that ever happens it will be MY decision, not someone elses. that is my boundary. the part of me that neurotypically masks could handle a library conference in a purely technical sense, but the part of me that chuck represents absolutely cannot and should not be asked to do that without the pink bag. unfortunately, the complexity of this point makes it even MORE difficult for me to think about and takes up even more of my time, because it forces me to START QUESTIONING MYSELF and my own needs. to be honest, that is the most insidious part of other people questioning your identify and refusing to accept your accommodation needs without ‘proof’.

the thing is, while all of this discussion of disability and accessibility is important, i have a much larger point to make by writing these words.

a conference should not uninvite someone with an unusual physical presentation or a strange way of speaking REGARDLESS of it being classified as a disability. it does not matter WHY i look the way that i look and wear what i wear. i should not have to spend all day writing this post instead of writing my next book, just because my sensibilities are unique and my presentation is unusual. 

fortunately the solution is very simple: let other people be themselves. its not hurting you to simply accept and nod at the buckaroos you think look strange. let us exist

[prael]

Not Quite Home

Kinktember Day 15: Stand & Carry

Kepler Youngeun x male reader smut

words: 1,495 Kinktember Masterlist

She is everything you're not. Everything you hate. How can someone refuse to have a place to call home?

All this about being a free spirit and experiencing everything that the world has to offer all sounds well and good but how is a tree supposed to grow if it has no roots? But Youngeun insists that is exactly what she is after, the constant thrill, the constant novelty, the rush and urgency. In every interaction, she seems to have been in search of the next big adventure.

And you think you do her a disservice by not understanding.

Perhaps if you had met each other under other circumstances, things might have gone better for the two of you. But now, you resent how she feels like a stranger whenever you're together. She once brought an element of excitement and risk to a routine, drab life, but that grew exhausting and more than once made you feel like you were suffocating. You grew to loathe her carelessness.

"Your parents?" You ask as she stands in your bedroom for the third night in a row, "Have you even told them you're back in town?"

She shakes her head in lieu of an answer, "You know how they are."

"You're going to blame them for wanting their daughter to visit for once?"

Youngeun laughs. It's one of your least favourite traits—her incapability to take anything seriously. "Not your business. Besides, seven nights, remember?"

Yes. Seven nights. This is what she told you, another expiry date on another chapter of whatever the fuck this is between you. Another unspoken contract was signed for the hell of it. A time limit, for something that isn't even real.

"Just think about it," you continue, hopelessly, "talking with your family. It'll clear your mind."

"Know what clears my mind? The wind in my hair, sun on my skin, music in my ears," Youngeun runs her hand through her silky hair, "Landing in some new town, finding a new local hang out to try something exotic and then exploring whatever is hidden in that town's history, picking up a new person, hooking up with them, letting the excitement course through my veins, knowing there's always something else waiting on the horizon."

Another insufferable thing that she does. It's been maybe fifteen minutes since you tangled limbs in the bed and now she's standing across the room naked making no secret of the fact that she picks up guys and girls wherever she goes. Youngeun looks down at you on the mattress and runs her eyes up and down your body, her fingers resting lightly over her collarbone.

You follow the line of her fingers, nails cut short with traces of peeled black nail paint. A callus on her finger is a reminder of how often she played the guitar. She runs them down her chest, thumb catching a nipple in the process of doing so.

"Look at you. You get hotter every time I come back." And just like that, Youngeun drops a compliment, casual and effortless and you question who's benefiting from this relationship because it clearly isn't you.

You're gonna fuck her again tonight. Tomorrow too, and another three nights after that. After which she'll be gone for another six months to a year. There's a weird emotional emptiness to this routine—you give and she takes and this is all she asks.

"Come here, will you? Pin me to this wall already. Make me feel you." Her hand cups her breast and another traces its way down her abs, a clear intention.

You should hate her, really. Like how you hate the idea that she left home for no reason or how she wasted her potential, hate her for her indifference, for her recklessness and her cold detachment, or hate the fact that it's just meaningless sex. 

She doesn't like strings, it makes no sense to her how people commit. If she was the type of person who asked to be understood, you would probably try to, but that's never something she ever expressed. 

For all of that, you don't hate her. It's why you're still walking towards her and she's backing up into the wall.

So, what does she ask for? Her answer is pleasure and pain.

She kisses like a raging fire. Everywhere her hands roam leaves marks on your skin; she scratches deep in your back as you hook her thigh up around your waist. A hand between her legs, sliding in without any sort of preamble. She's still dripping wet, though some of that may well be your last load. She tastes of salty, sweaty sex and you relish it. She kisses and she gasps as your fingers work at her entrance; crooking them upward so you can press them into her and rub right against the sensitive spot inside her.

Her tongue slides past yours, hot and wet as she grinds up into your hand, claws digging into your lower back. Your hand fucks into her roughly with reckless abandon and her breathing gets shallow as your fingers bring her closer and closer.

It doesn't take long, she's close, you know that when she throws her head back against the wall. "Stop—wait, fuck—wait," Youngeun barely gasps and then with your name in her throat, the friction of your fingers sends her over the edge. A moan escapes as her mouth falls open, eyes clamp shut as you finger her to orgasm.

It's always been easy to make Youngeun cum, but it never loses its magic. There's something particularly thrilling to the way she moans your name in that honey-laced rasp, to the way her entire body arches upwards as the pleasure mounts. A sharp gasp cuts the air.

Her limbs slacken. She leans her head against the wall. She's struggling to catch her breath.

And this is the fucking problem. For every reason to hate her, there are so many more reasons to enjoy her.

That's when you lift her, hooking up the other thigh and holding her by her tight little ass. Youngeun hisses and she's staring daggers and that's always a part of the fun. She'll give you these looks that could kill a lesser man, but you know the only solution is to pound her into submission.

"Be rough with me. Hard," Youngeun pants, sucking air in, breath ragged. Her skin's hot to the touch.

"Like last time?" Your voice comes low, thick and gruff as you hook her legs higher.

"No, harder, faster," Youngeun replies between rapid, short breaths, she grips your arms, rolls her hips and wraps her body tighter around you, "Want me to stay? Fuck me until I can't walk out."

You're incensed and sliding your length over her slick, warm, inviting heat, before slamming her back into the wall, entering her in one long hard motion and enjoying the way her lips fall apart; enjoying the way her hot and messy, fucked-out body arches upward as you hit deeper and the way her cries pitch. You don't even wait for her to catch her breath before snapping your hips over and over and giving Youngeun exactly the type of pounding that she wants.

There's a sharp gasp. A second of silence and then a choked-back scream. You feel a palm on the nape of your neck and a sting on your shoulders as her nails dig deep and scratch. She rakes them over the broad expanse of your upper back and it fucking hurts. It fucking stings and it's delicious. You bury yourself deep inside her, stretch and fuck her all open on your dick.

"Like that. Yes! Like that! Fucking ruin me."

"Since you asked so nicely."

Her moans become a struggle now that you've run a hand roughly up her body and planted it around her neck. Squeezing, not too hard, not to cut her airflow, not to bruise, but firmly enough that she will feel it and feel that she is being held. She loves to feel hopeless. And there, that's what you like: her hot, sweaty body locked between you and the wall and helpless against you as you sink into her.

And as much as she says it doesn't mean anything. Youngeun cries out your name like it means something.

The ever-familiar suffocating grip of her wet cunt grips you as she cums again. Bodies flushed together, grinding and sweaty.

"I can't breathe—" Youngeun whimpers in that cracked, vulnerable and submissive way and you snarl. Fuck her up as promised. Hurt her like she begs for. And Youngeun loves it like nothing else, absolutely nothing, her eyes rolling to the back of her head and a strangled groan as you reach another climax and fill up her pussy again. You pound yet another load into her tight hole.

As much as she would hate to ever admit it, this is as close to a home as she has in her life.

[kiddotarot]

SUN AND YOUR PENDING KARMIC GOALS.

Explanation = sun represents soul and self in the astrology with studying about it placement you can get what karmic goal and achievement you need to work on .

1. Sun in 1H/Aries = Aggression is the main point here it can be because in past life you are forced to develop a free will by involving war or you are forced to survive own your own thats the reson you enjoy the cut trusth competition. Your main goal is becoming aware of the unnecessary fighting spirit and take care of other needs .

2. Sun in Taurus/2H = With this placment you have a word which you use often " mine " . You think that your security and you are right place this can also lead you to not cutting your ties in unhappy marriage or environment because you don't learn that you can do better than this . Your pending karma is to learn to self security and trust yourself and make a strong rooted connection with yourself.

3. Sun in Gemini/3H = With this placment i can say in past life you are a publisher or teaching other thing related to spreading words . But it can also show that you are in gossip in past life you can share facts thst you don't even know is real or not just like a repoter. The duality is biggest problem for you . Your karmic goal is to express yourself cleary and fact check that you are communicating with right way .

4. Sun in cancer/ 4H = I don't be surprised if you get stuck in nostalgia often in a day. You take everyone and every relationship on a emotional level and often think and feel clingy to to the thing and person you feel familiar. Possessiveness can be problems here . Your pending karma is you set a stong connection with yourself and heal to the inner level.

5. Sun in leo/5H = You are the natural entertainers and may be tou don't have to work hard for this but you need a recognition from it and if don't get it then it can lead you to don't give people there importance. Your karmic goal is to use your charm in creativity and develop a positive attitude to gain popularity.

6. Sun in virgo/6H = This placment can lead you tobe a taskmaster but hard on yourself as well as on others. And main things that this can also give you fear of faliur. And it can also lead you to hating yourself on little faliur and mistake. The karmic goal is to love yourself and accept yourself regarless any flaws.

7. Sun in libra/7H = You love a place with harmonious and beautiful environment. You know when the things around you is right and when not. And often you find yourself most of the time putting efforts to make things right for others but in this process you can loose yourself. With your need to be liked it can lead you to fit in other standards. Your karmic goal is to takecare yourself in a relationship and find comfort in yourself.

8. Sun in scorpio/ 8H = with this you have a challenge to master the power . You can find yourself attracting a lot of people with your hidden side and charm . You love over power scenarios but it can also lead you again in karmic connection. Your karmic goal is controing is not an option you soul need to involve and invite the great divine.

9. Sun in sagittarius/9H = This make you a great followers of ethic and law and follow the rule but there is always a side when you feel you are not participating and involving yourself fully into new experiences. You are just taking your personal freedom. Your karmic goal is to understand the real meaning of life and live it don't just stuck in sitting examples.

10. Sun in Capricorn/10H = with this placement you need to understand that success is a state of life and mind its not a race . You need to establish or understand it from inner state outer world is not going to satisfy this need . Your karmic goal is to live with inner security and power first before giving it to other world.

11. Sun in Aquarius/ 11H = you can be always confused in the changing yourself or remain the same. Because your soul crave for changing and for this you have to take your freedom. It can lead you to become detached but it can also lead you to bad thing . Your karmic goal is to leave unhealthy things and become flexible in this matters.

12. Sun in pieces/12H = you can have a feeling to stuck in a victim mentality where you feel that you need to take care of other things or people because you feel that is the same scenarios where you feel victim like them. Your karmic goal is to develop your own lesson and path do not take anyone other to achieve wholeness.

[josephandrewstarkey]

surprise!!

warnings: smut, cussing, unprotected sex

words: 1.3k

❦ drew starkey x actress reader

Drew stepped into the apartment, juggling a couple of grocery bags as he kicked the door shut behind him. My heart pounded in my chest as I stayed hidden just around the corner, watching him. He looked tired but focused, likely thinking about the premiere of ‘Queer’ coming up next week. My excitement grew, knowing he had no idea I was here.

As he set the bags on the counter, a small smile tugged at my lips. I’d been waiting months for this—planning everything down to the last detail to surprise him. Drew thought I wouldn’t be back for another month because of filming, but I’d lied. I had only been gone for three months, not four. All this time, I was dying to tell him that I’d be home in time for his big moment, but I wanted it to be perfect.

The moment he turned around and spotted me, I saw his face freeze in shock. His eyes went wide, his lips parting as if he couldn’t believe I was real.

“Baby,” I said softly, my voice warm and full of affection. “i missed you.”

The grocery bags fell from his hands, apples and cans rolling across the floor. But Drew didn’t seem to notice or care. He just stood there, staring at me for a heartbeat before rushing toward me in a blur of movement.

Before I knew it, his arms were around my waist, lifting me off the ground as he spun me around. The sound of his laughter against my neck sent warmth through my body. He set me down,“What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice thick with emotion as his lips brushed against mine between words. “I thought you were filming for another month.”

I giggled, keeping close to him, letting my hands rest on his cheeks. “Yeah, I lied,” I admitted, seeing the surprise still dancing in his eyes. “I wanted to surprise you. You didn’t think I’d leave you alone on your big day, did you?”

“What?” He blinked, trying to process my words, still visibly shocked.

I grinned. “I’m coming with you to Italy! Luca and your manager have known all along. I planned it out with them. I couldn’t miss it, not for anything.”

For a moment, Drew stood there, speechless, his hands gently cupping my face as he pressed his forehead against mine. His gaze was filled with love and disbelief. “You…you did all this?”

“Mmhmm,” I hummed, my fingers lightly tracing his jawline. “Everyone knew except you. I wanted it to be a surprise. I wasn’t going to let you walk that red carpet without me.”

He let out a soft laugh, one that sounded full of relief and amazement. “I was already telling everyone you weren’t going to make it,” he whispered, brushing a lock of hair behind my ear. “I was so bummed about it.”

I chuckled, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “Well, you can stop telling people now.”

Before I could pull away, Drew kissed me again, deeper this time, his hands pulling me closer as if he couldn’t get enough. The feeling of his lips against mine was intoxicating, and I melted into him, my arms wrapping around his neck. His warmth surrounded me, filling the void that had been left during the time we spent apart.

When we finally broke the kiss, Drew kept his forehead against mine, his hands gently running up and down my sides. “God, I missed you. You don’t even know,” he murmured softly, his voice filled with emotion.

“I missed you too,” I whispered, brushing my thumb along his cheek. “I hated being away for so long.”

He glanced around the room for a moment, his eyes soft as they took in our apartment. “And everything’s already arranged? The flight, the hotel…all of it?”

I nodded with a smile. “yes baby all of it” i replied. “perfect” he muttered

— As we sank onto the couch, Drew’s hands roamed over my body with an urgency that spoke of the longing we had both felt. His touch was tender yet insistent, exploring every curve, every inch of skin that he had missed. I responded with a soft moan, leaning into his touch, feeling the warmth of his hands as they slid under my shirt. as he started kneading my flesh “drew” i moaned

His lips traveled from my mouth to my neck, and each kiss elicited a shiver from me. My breath came in shallow, uneven gasps as his fingers traced a path up my back. I could feel the intensity of his desire in the way he pressed his body against mine, the heat and need palpable between us.

Our moans filled the space around us, mingling in a symphony of pleasure as Drew’s hands slid up to cup my face. He guided me into a deep, passionate kiss, our tongues dancing together as we lost ourselves in the sensation. The world outside ceased to exist, leaving only the two of us wrapped in each other’s embrace.

I felt him shudder as he explored the sensitive areas of my skin, and I responded with soft, pleading sounds. His fingers found the curve of my waist, pulling me closer as our bodies pressed together. The intensity of our connection grew with each touch, each kiss, each whispered breath.

I started unbuckling his belt, trying to get his jeans off. He laughed at my actions “You’re needy huh?” i grinned “shut up and take this off.” “anything for you baby.” he said while taking off his jeans, while i was undressing myself as well. He lined his cock at my entrance “Are you on the pill baby?” he asked “Yeah, got on it a few days ago.” i answered. “Good girl.” he smiled while slowly sliding into my cunt. I moaned— ‘Shit, baby you feel so good.’ he teased as he slowly started moving.

My hands gripping onto his biceps as he started going harder. “fuck— drew faster!” i screamed. He groaned at my words, slapping into me while rubbing my clit. “You like that baby, huh? You missed this dick?” he whispered in my ear. “Yes!” i screamed once again. “That’s what i thought, you gonna cum for me baby?” — i nodded, biting my lips while looking into his eyes. “Fuck—shit keep looking at me like that baby. Look at how i’m fucking this pussy”

I struggled keeping my eyes open. My mind fuzzy and head spinning— “I’m gonna cum drew don’t stop!” i screamed in pleasure. “C’mon baby cum for me.” he muttered while slapping my clit.

I screamed his name while i came, eyes rolling to the back of my head and my mouth falling wide open. Body numb while drew was still pushing into me making himself cum aswell. He pulled out, his seed dripping out of my pussy.

As Drew lay on top of you, your breaths mingling together, the room was filled with a serene silence. You gently brushed a strand of hair from his forehead, smiling as he looked up at you with a soft, contented expression. "That was incredible," he murmured, his voice tender. You nodded, running your fingers lightly across his back. "It really was," you whispered back, feeling a warm, comforting closeness as you both simply enjoyed the quiet intimacy of the moment.

@rafedarling you wanted some drew fics!! more coming up

[comicaurora]

I'm not a writer whatsoever and am currently listening to the OSPod Publishing special, and was really intruiged by your description of your character-driven stories as being similar to a DnD campaign. Could you please elaborate a bit on what you mean by "it's good when the characters surprise you"? It's likely an obvious writer thing, but I would've thought that an author wouldn't be surprised by where their story or characters go since, well, they're the one writing it. Regardless the comic is amazing so however confusing your process may be to me personally it's clearly effective

It's a little bit difficult to explain!

A lot of the writing process is just sitting down and writing it - laying out the setpieces, describing what the characters do, writing and tweaking the dialogue for impact. But in my experience, the vast majority of the REAL writing process happens internally, and large chunks of it are out of conscious reach of the writer. This unreachable space is where new ideas form, and why no writer has ever been able to answer the question "where do you get your ideas from?"

This is why a writer can beat their head against writers block for weeks at a time, then wake up one day with a solution and the entire next chunk of storyline fully formed. My dad calls this phenomenon "the better writer in the back of your head." A lot of the creative process doesn't happen in the front of your mind, where your ego and your inner voice live. Most of it is deeper down. This is how your mind is capable of surprising you in any context, including dreams or unexpected emotional reactions - your mind is a lot larger than just the parts you can consciously feel.

When I put a character in a situation, I can make a conscious decision for what they'll do and then execute it, but I can also listen for ideas bubbling out of that inaccessible region of my mind. Most character ideas start out as a small set of conscious decisions on the part of the writer - "I'll make him a classical hero with a strong sense of justice" or "she'll be a strong but weary leader putting on a brave face" or "I'm playing an edgy rogue with a dark past" etc etc, quick and basic elevator pitches. But the characters come alive when they're allowed to grow down into the inaccessible parts of the mind, where consciousness gives way to emotions bubbling up from even deeper processes. Once the characters are allowed to start feeling things about their story - like "maybe that classical hero doesn't actually feel great about the lord they serve" or "the weary leader has an endless wellspring of vengeful rage to keep her going when she falters," more creative ideas for their next move start bubbling up. Things that don't flow logically from their elevator pitch, but make sense for the character that grows out of that pitch as they're allowed to engage with the world and story around them.

The way I build characters puts a focus on how they're feeling in any given situation, which is completely separate from what I, the writer of the plot, need them to do to move the plot in the direction I was planning. So sometimes I'll be writing something, and a little bubble of inspiration will pop up and let me know that, unexpectedly, this situation is really getting to one of the characters. And I can choose to keep them on track, or I can let their internal compass take over and see what makes the most sense to them at that moment of the story.

Characters are not real people, and they aren't as large or complex as a human mind, but in my experience, if you build a character solidly enough and give yourself room to play, they will grow down into your subconscious wellspring of creativity, and your mind will volunteer ideas to you using their voice. You don't need to use them, but it's very useful to cultivate them, because sometimes those ideas are better than anything you could consciously stick together in the public-spacing front of your mind.

[st4rrth0ughts]

Hey!! I really lhcde all of your posts especially bodyguard reader x sub aven series, it made me go feral and scream like a monkey. Makes me think to stuffed him full until he carry our child

May I request a hc of pregnant aventurine if you don't mind, he will be the type of people that 24/7 needy

Let’s get into this FUCKKK

tw,cw: mpreg!!, afab! Aven, amab! gn! bodyguard! reader, self indulgent, FLUFFY domestic and married life, reader is described as muscular, NOT PROOFREAD, Aven's real name mentions! may not be accurate lol, lmk if i missed anything!

He's shocked. Staring at the test, he doesn't know how to feel, should he be upset? Happy? Oh Aeons, what's he going to say to you?

Of course, he loved you, he really, really did, but you were his bodyguard, surely you didn't want the burden of raising a child... right?

haha, wrong, he's stunned as he watches you as you practically, squealed, squealed, in pure joy as you dash over, picking him up and spinning him like a princess

Watching someone that was so muscular, cuddling him so tenderly and rubbing his belly, kissing his nape and soft skin, he was on the verge of tears.

For the next months, he didn't think he could, but damn it, he fell in love with you all over again. You did everything around the house for him, and treated him so gently.

Every morning, when he had his morning nausea, it was horrible, but you were always by his side, rubbing his back with your warm hands, and then cuddling and kissing him all over the place.

Whenever he had weird cravings, somehow, you'd be able to make it at home, and playfully feed it to him because he was too tired and drained. Not that he couldn't, of course, but still.

You did all the household chores, cleaning the dishes, cooking for both of you, making sure the house was in its best state, hell, you even dedicated the spare guest bedroom and converted it into a beautiful nursery.

You dealt with him even when he had horrid mood swings, from sobbing, to getting irritated with the smallest of things, you were there, taking his insults and comforting him when he was crying in your arms.

He finds himself much more needy and wanting your attention, more so than the first few years of your relationship, constantly burying his head in your back, chest, neck, anytime of the day, when your cooking, doing chores or filling in boring paperwork.

Every night, you would always hug him, kiss him, and take care of him, and rub his belly, whispering how you two would be such wonderful parents he thinks he won't be, and how your new child would be such a beautiful addition to your lives.

In the last few months during his pregnancy, you took extra care of him, getting a few more part time jobs so that you two would have enough savings to take care of the new life you would be taking care of in about a few month's time. (he insists that his money can handle everything and more, but you simply shushed him)

You always accompanied him everywhere, (not that you didn't before he got pregnant lol) to his doctor's appointments, when he had to attend urgent IPC meetings, and he swears that you were probably more emotional than him, you would get in a full blown fight with anyone who looked at him the wrong way.

Outside, you would hold his hand constantly, intertwining your ringed fingers, proudly showing everyone that he was your darling husband, and you always made it a point to kiss him when he least expected it, always getting a laugh when he squeaked and blushed.

His water broke suddenly, which sent both of you into a massive panic, luckily, the two of you were nearby a hospital, so you ended by driving him there yourself.

The delivery was difficult and painful, as it ended up with him having to give birth to twins, you were holding his hand as he squeezed it so hard it was almost painful, and he was sobbing throughout the process.

But seeing the two newborn babies, one girl and one boy, in his arms, Aeons, he couldn't help but cry as well. You were crying, and even the doctors were tearing up from how absolutely overjoyed you two were to have two children.

Now that he thought about it, he's pretty sure you cried more than him even though he's the one that gave birth

Anyways

You kissed them, held them, and gently cooed at the twins adorable expression, and held their tiny fingers with such love that he swears he'll fall in love with you again for the third time.

The girl had his dirty blond hair, but had your eye's beautiful shade, and the boy was vice versa. They looked like adorable angels.

Speaking of which, his heart melted while his next few hours were spent in the hospital, recovering in the soft pillows of the hospital bed.

You'd been fussing hard over him, being the one to feed him, take care of him, and being the one to rock your babies to sleep, while he himself fell asleep as well.

He wasn't expecting it, but he was shocked and touched that Ratio, Topaz and even the Trailblazer decided to visit, all of them congratulating you and him, and it was certainly one of the best times Kakavasha ever had in his life.

Topaz absolutely adored the twins, she was giggling and playing peekaboo with them, while ratio spent his session reading a children's book to their sleeping forms, and you had to refuse Trailblazer's thoughtful but rather unsanitary gift of trashcan salvaged items.

For the next months, it was bliss. Of course, it was tiring, having to take care of two new children, but honestly? Having a happy family with you and his beloved children, always by his side, he was sure the world seemed brighter than before.

A/n: Not my usual stuff as i rarely want to post actual writing of headcannons, but lmk how i did :))

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

hiiiii🌻 if you haven’t already, will you do a headcanon for carmy? 🥺

Carmy Berzatto Headcanons.

warnings - sexual content.

ohh sweet carmy. I definitely romanticise him, because we've seen on the show he can be a nightmare in relationships. so, take these with a pinch of salt. <3

3k celebration post here. 3k masterlist here.

- Never gets tired of cooking for you. You feel bad, sometimes, when he offers to cook even after he's been at work all day. He reassures you one evening that he loves cooking for you, because it's different. There's no pressure. He can relax, and do what he loves most for the person he loves most.

- Terrible at DIY. The two of you always end up crying with laughter when you try and get a job done, because it always inevitably goes wrong. You're both determined to do it yourselves, though. You'll never call a guy.

- He's a commitmentphobe. Majorly. I think it'd be really hard work to get Carmy to ever really commit himself to you. It'd take time, and a hell of a lot of patience. But, once he does, he's fiercely loyal. He'd do anything for you, no hesitation.

- Carmy's awful at communicating. He's not good at processing his emotions, and ends up yelling. The first time you had an argument, you didn't yell once, which was a real turning point for him. You talked it out, and fixed the issue. From that moment on, he tries. He's not perfect, but he tries.

- Hates seeing you cry. It's his least favourite thing in the world. The minute you cry, his bottom lip is quivering, lump in his throat forming. You cry, he cries.

- Loves it when you pamper him. Happily sits with you while you apply your face mask, asks one day if you'll put some on him. You cuddle on the couch, wine in hand, terrible reality show on the TV. You do your skincare routine, and then do it on him too.

- Only trusts you to cut his hair. You don't have much experience, but you figure it out pretty quickly. He now refuses to go to a salon, begging you to do it instead. In the bathroom, stood between his legs, you trim his hair carefully, trying to ignore the way he's gazing up at you with those big blue eyes.

and now onto the sexy stuff...

- Doesn't stop talking during sex. He can't shut his mouth. He's got his lips pressed to your ear, murmuring the filthiest things you've ever heard.

- Lives to praise you. Sure, he'll degrade you if you want, but he loves getting to tell you how pretty you are, how perfect you look like this, how you're such a good girl for him.

- Loooves cowgirl. Loves getting to sit there all smug as you're on top of him. It's his favourite view. His favourite thing to do is sit up so you're chest to chest, his arms wrapped around you. Nothing beats it.

- Will fuck you anywhere. Kitchen counter, dining table, bathroom vanity, washing machine. Can and will bend you over the nearest surface. He's not a patient man.

- Gets off on eating you out. He's an expert in fine dining, after all. Loves when you grab his hair, tugging and pulling. He basically works himself to the edge as he laps at you. Has definitely made himself come by grinding his hips into the bed. He enjoys it just as much as you do.

as always, feel free to agree/disagree/expand on these!! <3

[mechaknight-98]

Paragon (NSFW) FT Yeji

author’s note Yeji is super hot especially in this dress. Been meaning to write her and I think I hit the right notes for this one

I got the call that the villain Light Fury was rampaging through the city. I groaned and suited up. I flew to Downtown

“Oh, Paragon you finally arrive. I was getting worried you wouldn’t show.”

My head was killing me so I responded, “Look light fury it’s barely Tuesday and it’s been a long week so can we hurry up.” I watched as the Villainess hesitated when she locked eyes with me. They held…concern no impossible no girl would interested in me especially not a supervillain as attractive as Light Fury. Huh, that’s a weird thought. I pondered, “Do I have a crush on my Archenemy?”

Lost in thought I didn’t see the giant plasma bolt flying towards me. It knocked me into an abandoned warehouse. It hurt but I was processing several different emotions so I just sat there for a minute.

“Do I like light fury ?” I ask myself.“No impossible I’m a hero. She’s a villain, but she's so smart, industrious, funny and we’re so close.” I say to myself.

“Am I a villain?” I questioned as I had teamed up with light fury numerous times to beat up on the worst of the Villains . Despite her being a supervillain it was quite often our values aligned. Unbeknownst to me light fury was flying to the warehouse as I was having my crisis.

“Like I almost killed my landlord yesterday for price gouging. I was so close to snapping his pencil neck. Although gouging his eyes out would have been more poetic. Listen to me I am one step short from monologing about the evils of the world and I don't feel anything except satisfaction because I keep feeling these unbearably strong violent ideations and antisocial tendencies. Am I just cosplaying hero to satisfy these cravings for violence I’ve been having.” Light Fury overhears me and is immediately taken back at hearing the hero she’s been fighting for the past 2 years having some very villainous thoughts, but she’d be remiss if she didn’t admit she kinda liked it when I flew off the handle. What came to her mind was their team-up where I nearly beat Dr.Cataclysm to death. almost single-handed. She saw the fire alight in his eyes and his heart race when they faced him. The rage and fire she got from me seemed to invigorate her making her powers stronger in the fight. She moved her hand into a skin-tight suit as she began to touch herself as she listened

“Maybe I should just finish the fight with light fury, turn her in, and call it a day, but she looks so hot today that new suit she wears makes her body look so good…what am I saying that’s my arch-villain and I’m drooling over her like I’m in high school again. I need a girlfriend.” I lamented Light Fury began to touch herself more intensely as she listened to my inner turmoil. The thought of corrupting her opposite excited her to no end. “What the fuck is wrong with me today. First, the landlord raised the rent, I almost lost it, and now I am lusting over my Archenemy. Get a grip, Hugo. I know I should go back to therapy…no that didn’t stop the rage I feel though. The only thing that quells that has been doing all the superhero stuff, but I’ve been getting worse.” I lament further

Watching me agonize and ponder my position Yeji stifles a moan escaping from her lips. The bottom of her villain suit and panties are gone as she further gives into her desires. His fingers dive in and out of her starving pussy.

“Hugo” light fury whispers. The first time she’s heard the real name of her nemesis. It excited her, but not in the case of perceived advantage but to be more intimate with the object of desires she has long repressed. Light fury gets a little closer now feeling herself burning up from arousal over my mental crisis and me lusting over her. She was also coming to terms with her loneliness and seeing such a strong and fertile young man who desired her…well her body reacted accordingly. I hear rustling and turn to see Light Fury standing in the corner of the warehouse shadows covering her. I turn to her terrified I ready myself to fight but light fury approaches me calmly her hips sashay with an eerily seductive quality. Seeing her half-naked paralyzed me as my body demands to fuck her but my mind rages against the primal part of me. As always her gaze is intense on approach but not of hatred. I see only one thing in her eyes…desire

“Little hero has been having some less than heroic thoughts about me. It gets me a little excited” She coos as she closes in on me her body pins me to the ground. I stiffen everywhere.

I’m used to being close to her but never with this feeling between us. She wraps her arms around me and brings me into her embrace. “Shush your worries.” She comes close. My resolve is hanging by a thread we both want each other but I… I can’t bring myself to…”Come, little hero.” She whispered in a seductive tone, and the thoughts I had been suppressing broke the floodgates. I rip Light Fury’s mask and my helmet off and devour her in a fervent kiss. The fiery Dragon queen as she was known by many greedily accepted my advances.

I run my hand through her auburn hair as the kiss between us begins to turn more passionate. Light Fury’s claws extended as she tore into my armor leaving me bare before her. She broke our kiss to appraise my body. Her eyes stopped at my crotch.

“Hmm, looks lit “Little hero” isn’t so little.” Light Fury says with a smile. Her hands reach out to my cock and I groan.

“Oh fuck light fury.” I moan light fury smiles maliciously as she strokes me a bit harder. One of my hands ventures down to her folds eager to reciprocate her passion and lust

“Yeji.” Light Fury says

“Huh?”I question

“My name is Yeji.” Light Fury responds

“Fuck Yeji keep going.” I moan as she gets a particularly substantial grip on my cock. Yeji smiles wickedly.

“Beg for it little hero Beg for your archenemy to make you cum.” Yeji says as takes a violent grip on my…no her cock. My body and mind have fully submitted to her whims.

“Please Yeji make me cum.”

Yeji grins madly fawning over the power she holds over me

“You can do better.” She admonishes

“Oh fuck Yeji please let me cum. ride my cock tills it’s spent in your pussy. Fuck me till I can’t even remember my name.” I moan desperate to feel her pussy on my cock. Yeji smirks before mounting me. She moans intensely as I fill her to the brim.

“Little hero isn’t so little.” Yeji coos. I groan as she holds me in place. Her pussy pulsated around my cock attempting to properly adjust to it. She groaned, and then she began to ride me. it started slow at first as we still were feeling each other out pawing at each other and getting to know each other's body. hers was tight and firm but bowed and curved in all the hottest and best places. Yeji smiled as his hands dug into my flesh. "Big Hero likes his Archenemy's pussy." she asks I nod breathlessly. Yeji takes it as a provocation to increase her pace which is par the course for her. Yeji is as unrelenting in riding me as she is in our fights perhaps more so here.

"You know Paragon you saved me before I became Light Fury," Yeji said as she sank further down onto my rod before lifting her tight sexy ass and slamming it back down on my crotch. I groan as she orgasms then and there. I continue to thrust in her extending the endeavor as I question her previous statement.

"Really?" I ask curious about previous encounters.

"Yes When Dr Cataclysm was collecting women for his vile experiment I was one of the subjects. His greatest success and his greatest failure." He called me." My blood boiled at the mention of Dr Cataclysm he had killed one of my closest friends and it took everything in me to let the Hero's association deal with him. He was a monster with no morals or guidance. few villains were as reviled as he was. In my anger, Yeji squealed.

"Oh Hero you're being so rough now. I love it. Did I strike a nerve mentioning the Good Doctor? Don't worry Big Hero. It was not your fault. The association made you stay your hand." Yeji says unknowingly. igniting the fire within me that burned brighter than any star.

"That fucking bastard hid among us like a wolf in sheepskin. He mocked us. and led us on goose chases while he preyed on the vulnerable. I should have ripped his throat out when I had his neck in my hands." I growled as I thrust into Yeji. She smiled seeing the color of my eyes change to the burnt Umber they would get whenever I was truly angry. Yeji was in bliss as I took my anger out on her. I fucked her harder and harder my senses dulling as pleasure and anger washed over me while using her. Yeji's smile was wicked and bright as I continued to thrust in and out of her tight pussy.

"I can feel you twitching harder Hero. Are you about to cum. Do it Cum in my pussy. Do it." Yeji mewled with a needy tone. Her words sent me over the edge as I dumped a load into her wanton pussy. As our bodies calmed down we stared at each other a confusing wave of emotions washed over us as the sexual tension dissipated.

"I can't believe I did that," we said simultaneously as our rationale came back to us. Yeji looked at me with a Vulnerable look.

"I am sorry Paragon. I shouldn't have done that to you," she said remorseful. I dismissed her.

"No, I was a consenting participant." I rebuked "Fuck...Why did you have to be so cute." I lament. Yeji looks at me with a surprised shocked look before blushing.

"Is that affection in your tone?" Yeji questions sternly.

I nod, "Yeah you are stunning, and had the circumstances been different I definitely would have asked you out."

"What's stopping Hugo from Asking Yeji out?" Yeji asks me with an innocent look

"Really? you know what screw it we're already this deep in. Hi Yeji would you like to get coffee sometime?" I ask meekly. Yeji smiles a more wholesome smile and winks at me. "I'd love to Hugo."

"Does tomorrow work?" she asks. I nod. "Great. Give me your phone so we can share numbers. I nod and conjure my phone to my hand.

"Oh, that's so cool," Yeji notes smiling. I smile brightly at her back, and we exchange numbers. I conjure my civilian clothes while she does a Carter twirl and turns back into her nice form-fitting black dress I assumed she was wearing before.

"You're drooling." Yeji teased. I nodded and rebuked

"Yes. Do you see how hot you are? Or is it only on me to tell you?"

Yeji smiles before saying, "Flattery will get you everywhere."

"I hope so because my goodness you are stunning," I reply

Yeji smiles then her face goes stern. "Okay stop it. you're too sweet." I nod and reply

"I am sorry this is just my first relationship...Being a hero and with my actual job. it doesn't leave time for much...Cavorting with others." as I explain Yeji's face softens.

"I never considered that, but yeah you keep your identity secret," Yeji affirms and I nod.

we both walk out of the warehouse. I use my magic to repair it.

"You know I don't know how your powers work?" Yeji asked with innocent curiosity.

"Oh no missy I am not revealing the secret of my powers. What if you're just using me to get to know my weaknesses?"

"Hugo I let you cum in me...Quite a bit I might add I can still feel it sloshing inside of me." Yeji laughs. I laugh with her and reply

"Well, I can't be too careful. We are still enemies after all."

[obsessedwithceleste]

Theodore Nott Headcanons

Dedicated to this lil request here 🫶🏽

©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.

It’s no secret that Theodore Nott had a rough childhood

Between witnessing his mother’s death at a young age and having a particularly ruthless father, Theo learned to be quietly reserved early on

1000% Theo is an introvert

Despite being seemingly closed off, he’s extremely observant and good at reading others and picking up on things quickly

While he may not be the best at deciphering his own emotions, he’s able to sort through others’ easily

This makes it easy for him to be rather manipulative because he knows what makes other’s tick and how to go straight for the jugular

He may be distant and off putting in the beginning, but once you get close, he’s a clingy bastard because he doesn’t let many people get close, so once you make it there he’ll basically hold you captive forever

He’s also stupid smart

(Canonically he’s able to re-create an illegal time turner after they were all destroyed in the department of mysteries so//)

And this makes him a bit of an arrogant asshole

Looks down on people he thinks aren’t as smart as him

He definitely thinks that he knows best and can have a “my way or the highway” type mindset

Probably has some type of gifted kid™️ trauma and a crippling fear of failure

Anyway, he’s super intelligent and witty and has the potential to do really well in classes

But he has a nasty habit off skiving off with Mattheo Riddle

Who happens to be his best friend along with Lorenzo Berkshire

A lot of people think Theo is the “mother” of the group, or at least the one with the most impulse control

They’re wrong

Theo is the one that Mattheo goes to with his dumbass ideas and Theo’s response is generally something along the lines of-

“Absolutely not you tosser. If we’re going to do it, we’re going to do it right”

Queue Mattheo’s initial plan- only methodically planned out to cause maximal amounts of emotional trauma for the Hogwarts population

Theo and Mattheo are also a chaotic duo on the quidditch pitch

Theo is a chaser

Making the quidditch team in his third year is one of the only times his father showed a hint of satisfaction with the boy

Being on the Slytherin quidditch team, he’s often labeled a preppy jock

And Mattheo does help him break out of his shell more

But he’s a nerdy lil book worm at heart and likes to be holed up in the library most days

Theo also has quite the reputation of being a ladies man with rumors about his escapades swarming the student body

But really they’re just that- rumors

Lorenzo is more of the openly flirtatious pretty boy, and Mattheo certainly knows how to make his way around which is perhaps why people think Theo would be the same way

But he isn’t one to really form physical attachments- emotional or not

He prefers to fly under the radar

He may have had a fling or two, but isn’t one to kiss and tell

He has a hard time entering a real relationship

Mostly because when he first realizes he’s caught feelings, he’s convinced he’s actually just ill and stays in bed pretending to be sick

But once he comes to terms with things, he’s one determined wizard

Makes sure everyone knows that you’re off limits (possibly before you know yourself)

Definitely goes to Enzo for advice on how to woo you

With varying degrees of success

King of subtle PDA (just enough to mark his territory)

Confident and secure in his relationship, but also still jealous as hell

Will hex the living shit out of someone for breathing at you the wrong way

Finds it amusing when you get jealous though

But will shut it the fuck down as soon as he picks up on you being actually upset (probably embarrassing whoever it is in the process)

Not always the best at communicating his feeling cause he’s emotionally constipated af

But tries because he knows he doesn’t want a relationship like his parent’s

Okayyy I think that’s all for now, but I have a feeling these will grow and evolve with time sooo- ongoing (?) idk

[astroeleanor]

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ARIES VENUS/7TH HOUSE

You’re a natural initiator, don’t wait for others to come to you. Take the lead in your love life. Initiate conversations & displays of affection. Ask them out, message them first. Be direct about what you want. When you take the initiative, love naturally follows.

Pursue activities that excite you and make you feel alive. Tap into that Aries fire, channel your intensity in a way that’s productive.

Practice clear communication in all your relationships. If you’re interested in someone, be straightforward about it. Your directness is refreshing, and it lets others know exactly where they stand with you.

Spend time cultivating your sense of independence. Focus on building your own life—whether it’s through your career, hobbies, or personal growth. When you’re comfortable standing on your own, you’ll attract your person.

Work on slowing down and enjoying the process of getting to know someone. Focus on building a strong foundation before jumping into something serious. STOP MOVING TOO FAST and jumping headfirst into shit.

Let go of any need to impress or conform to societal expectations in dating. When you show up as your authentic self, you’ll attract someone who values you for who you are, not for who they want you to be.

Surround yourself with energetic, motivated people by joining groups, clubs, or activities that inspire you. Keep your social circle exciting.

Don’t shy away from being assertive or standing up for yourself, but also practice resolving conflicts in a way that builds understanding. You enjoy the passion that comes with standing your ground and challenging others. However, be mindful of how you approach conflict, making sure that it’s productive and not destructive.

TAURUS VENUS/7TH HOUSE

• Show up everyday for yourself. Focus on building a steady life, and someone who values stability will come to share it with you. Invest in your home, career, friendships, and personal well-being.

• Remember the little things about your love interest. Be consistent, apply pressure. Be upfront about your values and expectations.

• Create a peaceful, secure environment where you feel grounded.

• Do not rush into relationships. Love for you grows slowly, so patience will be your greatest asset. Focus on building strong, high-quality, meaningful connections.

• Engage in activities that connect you to your senses. Cooking a delicious meal, practice yoga, be in the present moment, wrap yourself in cozy blankets, take a warm bath, adorn yourself with jewelry, enjoy a spa day. Give yourself time to appreciate beauty, touch, pleasure in all forms.

• Reflect on your values and what you truly want in a relationship. Don’t settle for anything less than what feels aligned with your sense of security and stability.

• Find beauty in simplicity. What matters most are the small, meaningful moments of connection–a quiet evening at home, a walk in nature, or a home-cooked meal or a cup of tea. Spend time appreciating the small things that bring you joy.

• To attract love, be clear about your desire for security, whether it’s financial stability or emotional consistency. The right partner will appreciate your need for a stable foundation and will be willing to build that with you.

• Work on enjoying the present moment, slow down to smell the flowers. Practice mindfulness in your daily life. Take it slow and savor the present moment. Cultivate that calm and steady energy that characterizes your Venus placement.

GEMINI VENUS/7TH HOUSE

Talk your way into people’s hearts. Let your intellect and curiosity shine. Be your authentic, witty self. Engage in deep conversations, ask about your love interes’s ideas, show them the side of you that is constantly learning and growing.

Give compliments, use words of affirmations. Ask thoughtful questions. Be an active listener. Create a strong foundation for effective communication with the people in your life.

Lead with curiosity, lean into your curious and open-minded nature. Ask questions, learn new things, especially about the people that you’re attracted to. Show genuine interest in their ideas, thoughts, experiences and perspectives.

Keep things light and fun. The more playful the better. Engage in witty banter, fun adventures, allow yourself to have fun and not take dating too seriously.

To attract love, focus on cultivating intellectual connections. Engage with people who stimulate your mind, challenge your perspectives, and introduce you to new concepts.

You thrive on variety and change. Spice things up. Be open to meeting different types of people, exploring new places, trying new things, being flexible. The more variety you introduce in your life, the better.

Focus on cultivating your hobbies and interests. Real love shows up when you keep your mind engaged. Expose yourself to different cultures, viewpoints, and experiences.

Lean into your flirty side! Be playful, lighthearted.

Be honest about your need for freedom, both with yourself and potential partners. You need space to explore your interest and meet new people, so let that be known.

CANCER VENUS/7TH HOUSE

• Make yourself feel safe and cared for. When you create emotional safety within, you’ll attract someone who respects that space. Treat yourself with the same love you wish to give others.

• Express love through nurturing gestures, by being there for your partner when they need someone to talk to or by cooking for them.

• Practice being emotionally open, even in small ways. Share your thoughts and feelings with trusted friends or write down your emotions in a journal. By getting comfortable with vulnerability in safe spaces, you’ll be more prepared to open up when the right relationship comes along.

• Make your home an inviting space where you can feel comfortable and safe. Add personal touches to make it feel warm and cozy. Your home is an extension of your heart, make it feel like a sanctuary. This way you’ll naturally attract someone who appreciates that sense of emotional depth & warmth.

• Honor your need for emotional security by creating emotional stability within yourself. Practice self-soothing techniques, engage in therapy to process past hurts, focus on becoming emotionally grounded.

• Spend time reconnecting with family members or people who make you feel at home. Share stories, engage in family traditions, or reflect on who/what gives you a sense of belonging. This will help you feel more grounded and open to attracting love that’s equally deep and meaningful.

• Reflect on what you truly need in a partner, and don’t settle for anything less. Stay open to connections that feel deep and authentic, even if they don’t happen overnight. Real love takes time to develop.

LEO VENUS/7TH HOUSE

Let your inner child out to play. Be that fun, carefree person to date, show your partner how to enjoy life.

Work on becoming secure in who you are, that’s how you’ll draw others toward you.

Show up as your authentic self. Don’t dim your own light. Express your desires, opinions, ideas, perspectives and passions.

Surprise your person with small acts of kindness and affection (compliments, spontaneous dates, a heartfelt message or letter). Lean into your generosity and giving nature.

Love yourself LOUDLY. If your person isn’t here yet, take yourself out on dates, buy yourself flowers, wine and dine your damn SELF!

Be loyal to yourself. Never, ever, disrespect yourself or stay in situations where you’re not cherished. Stay away from people who try to dim your own light.

Before committing, make sure that your partner is as loyal and invested as you are. Build trust by taking your time, don’t give your heart away too quickly.

Be open about your passions, your talents, your hobbies and actively cultivate them.

Celebrate your own achievements, step into your confidence, don’t shrink yourself to make others feel comfortable.

VIRGO VENUS/7tH HOUSE

In love, don’t shy away from offering a helping hand or some thoughtful advice, you attract people by being there when they need you most.

Start by focusing on the small details of your own life. Show up for yourself in the ways you want a partner to show up for you.

You show affection by helping, being supportive, being there for the people that you love in small, meaningful ways. Tap into this thoughtful side of you, even if your person hasn’t entered your life yet.

Cultivate an appreciation for the small joys in life. Spend time in nature, practice mindfulness, find beauty in simplicity. Focus on the beauty of everyday moments.

Be PICKY! This selectiveness is a strength. Take your time choosing the right partner for you. Be thoughtful & mindful about who you let in your life.

Focus on your own self-development. Perfect your craft, take care of your wellbeing, lean into your desire to better yourself.

Work on self-acceptance and letting go of the need for perfection. Allow yourself to make mistakes and embrace the messiness of life. When you show that you’re okay with imperfection, you’ll attract partners who feel comfortable being their authentic selves with you.

Practice clear and thoughtful communication. Focus on maintaining open lines of communication. Cultivate honest and constructive conversations.

Take time to declutter and organize your living space. Create a peaceful, functional environment that makes you feel grounded and calm. Let your personal space reflect your sense of order.

LIBRA VENUS/7TH HOUSE

Make others feel comfortable, appreciated and at ease in your presence. Show your thoughtfulness–whether it's offering to pay for a meal or making sure the scales are balanced between you and your partner, you attract others by showing that you believe in fairness and mutual respect.

Focus on cultivating balance in all areas of your life (finances, career, friendships, self-care).

Lean into your grace, politeness, diplomatic nature, allow your natural charm to shine. This is what makes you magnetic.

Spend time cultivating harmony in your day-to-day life. This could mean balancing work and relaxation, making time for creative pursuits, or improving your home environment to make it more peaceful. When you’re living in balance, love flows more easily into your life.

Engage in activities that bring out your romantic side. Write, create art, enjoying romantic movies or books. Nurture this part of yourself.

Prioritize beauty, aesthetics and mental connection. Surround yourself by elegance, beautiful experiences. Allow your appreciation for beauty to guide you. Spoil yourself.

Engage in any creative hobbies. Decorate your space. Cultivate your personal style. Express and find beauty in your everyday life.

Be mindful of how balanced your interactions are with potential partners. Focus on finding someone who is willing to give as much as they receive, and who values fairness in the relationship.

Practice asserting your needs without fear of upsetting others. When you have strong boundaries, you’re more likely to attract partners who respect you and value your emotional wellbeing.

Engage in social and intellectual activities where you can meet like-minded people. Mental stimulation is key for you (air sign).

SCORPIO VENUS/7TH HOUSE

Lean into the slow-burn type of love stories. Don’t open up to just anyone, keep your emotions close to your chest–show your vulnerability to people who deserve it.

Do the inner work. Confront your shadows and fears. You’ll find someone who’s just as ready to dive deep with you.

Channel your intensity and passion into hobbies, personal development or creative work.

Prioritize quality over quantity in your dating life. Take your time getting to know people who are emotionally available and interested in building a deep connection.

Practice being emotionally vulnerable in safe spaces. Acknowledge your fears of getting hurt but understand that vulnerability is a necessary part of deep love. To attract lasting love, you must embrace it.

Work on healing any past wounds related to trust and betrayal. Reflect on what trust means to you and what you need from a partner to feel secure. You don’t just need to learn how to trust other people, but also in yourself and your ability to navigate relationships.

Balance intensity with lightheartedness. Love doesn’t always have to be serious and heavy. Focus on enjoying the lighter moments, engage in activities that make you laugh, spend time with friends, find joy in the little things.

Be intentional about the people you spend time with. Walk away from connections that don’t align with your values or emotional needs. Invest in people who want to build something real.

Focus on cultivating self-confidence and embracing your inner power. When you feel empowered and grounded in who you are, others will naturally be drawn to your magnetic energy.

SAGITTARIUS VENUS/7TH HOUSE

Seek new experiences, even if you have to pursue them alone for a while.  Take yourself on adventures, big or small. Travel to new places, try new hobbies, step out of your comfort zone in any way you know of! To attract love, lean into this love for adventure and prioritize it in your life.

Your excitement for life is contagious, so lean into it. Be your spontaneous self. Engage in activities that make you feel happy and fulfilled. When you radiate positivity, you’ll naturally attract people who are excited to share your adventures and optimism with you.

Dive into deep conversations about life’s questions. Share your thoughts and feelings without fear of losing your independence. To attract lasting love, it’s important to balance your need for space with vulnerability and emotional connection.

Don’t restrict yourself to dating within a narrow framework. Meet new people through social events, groups, or activities that interest you, and don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone. The more open you are to new experiences, the better. Let go of rigid plans or expectations for how love will unfold.

Focus on maintaining your independence and pursuing your own passions. This will naturally attract partners who respect your need for space and autonomy, rather than those who want to control or confine you.

Join groups or attend events where learning and personal growth are at the center. Expand your mind, learn something new everyday. Invest in books, courses, intellectual growth, meaningful conversations.

Reflect on your relationship ideals and be clear about what you truly want. Don’t compromise on core values just to be in a relationship. Stay true to your vision of love.

Actively pursue your growth. You thrive on self-improvement. Set personal goals—like learning a new language, traveling to new places, exploring different philosophies. When you’re focused on becoming the best version of yourself, you’ll naturally attract someone who is on a similar journey.

CAPRICORN VENUS/7TH HOUSE

When people see how grounded, reliable, and responsible you are, they can’t help but be drawn to you.

Show off your success, but in a way that highlights your willingness to share it with your partner. Show that you’re willing to invest in a partnership, either financially or emotionally.

Invest time in your personal and professional growth first. Work on building a strong sense of self and achieving your goals, whether they’re related to career, health, or personal development.

Don’t feel pressured to rush into relationships. Take your time getting to know new people, focusing on forming a strong friendship first. Allow connections to develop naturally.

Remember that emotional connection is just as vital as financial and material security in a relationship. Allow yourself to be vulnerable & to open up. Start by sharing your feelings, dreams, concerns, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

Set high standards, but be open to imperfections. Stay open to the idea that your partner may not check every box on your list—but that doesn’t mean they aren’t right for you. Love is about finding someone who grows with you, not someone who meets every ideal from the start.

Nurture your existing relationships by being consistent and reliable. Your loyalty will naturally attract people who value the same qualities in a partner.

Take time to clarify your long-term goals, both personally and professionally. When dating, look for partners who share similar values and visions for the future. Be open about what you want out of life, and don’t be afraid to walk away from relationships that don’t align with your ambitions.

AQUARIUS VENUS/7TH HOUSE:

• Own your quirks, whether it be your fashion sense, perspectives, beliefs, visions or originality. That’s how you’ll attract someone who loves you for exactly who you are.

• Embrace your need for space and freedom. Practice enjoying your independence while cultivating self-love. Travel solo, pursue your hobbies, and focus on personal growth.

• Lean into the mental stimulation of a connection, but also keep yourself mentally engaged by pursuing your goals and hobbies.

• Invest your time in activities and communities that align with your passions, surround yourself with like-minded individuals.

• Cultivate your intellectual connections. Expand your knowledge and share your ideas with other people. You could also start new projects, learn a new skill or dive into topics that fascinate you to increase your magnetism.

• Value friendships as the foundation for love. Invest in the people that you already know, cultivate strong platonic connections. Explore group activities and social events that bring people together. When you focus on friendship, love may arise in an unexpected, natural way.

• Take the pressure off finding “the one” or fitting into traditional relationship molds. Instead, explore new ways of connecting with others, and allow yourself the freedom to redefine what love looks like for you.

• Practice vulnerability, even in small ways. It’s okay to let your guard down and share your feelings with trusted friends or through creative expression. When you allow yourself to be emotionally open, you’re more likely to attract someone who sees and appreciates the real you.

• Push yourself out of your comfort zone by trying new activities or exploring new social circles. Attend events where you can meet people with different perspectives and backgrounds. Love might come when you’re busy discovering new parts of yourself and the world around you.

PISCES VENUS/7TH HOUSE

You attract people through your softness, your empathy, and your creative soul. 

When you’re open about your creative, spiritual, and emotional sides, you become irresistible.

Engage in deep, soulful conversations, talk about the meaning of life, or share your love for art, music, and beauty. 

Express your love in meaningful ways, such as writing letters, creating curated playlists for your love interest, creating a drawing/painting for them, etc. 

Show your caring nature without being afraid of vulnerability. Let people see the compassionate side of you. 

Set healthy boundaries and avoid unbalanced relationships–protect your energy. Learn to say no when you need space so that your emotional resources are not drained.

Stay in touch with your emotions, practice emotional awareness through journaling, therapy, yoga, etc.

Romanticize your life, find beauty even in the simplest moments. Turn everyday moments into something magical and meaningful. Create romantic experiences for yourself, lead with your natural ability to make things special.

Release your emotional baggage. Don’t carry unresolved feelings or unrealistic fantasies into your relationships. Process your emotions to clear the path for love.

Trust your intuition and be compassionate with yourself. Love finds you when you’re in tune with your inner world.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Thank you for taking the time to read my post! Your curiosity & engagement mean the world to me. I hope you not only found it enjoyable but also enriching for your astrological knowledge. Your support & interest inspire me to continue sharing insights & information with you. I appreciate you immensely. • 🕸️ JOIN MY PATREON for exquisite & in-depth astrology content. You'll also receive a free mini reading upon joining. :)

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[eamour]

emotions do not matter.

! this post was highly inspired by former loa blogger aphrodite apprentice !

emotions and feelings, the way neville coins these words, are of different nature. when speaking of emotions, we are speaking of unconscious emotional experiences. feelings, however, are a conscious act and usually a reaction to our emotions — which, according to neville, are the secret to help us manifest.

emotions vs feelings.

an emotion is an immediate reaction to your emotional state of mind, whereas a feeling remains a lot longer and is felt for a longer period of time. emotions could be joy, fear, anger, lust or sadness. the counterparts in feelings would then be happiness, anxiety, bitterness, love or depression. if something unpleasant happens in your life, you will react to it emotionally first. only later, you will be able to form a feeling. as you can see, an emotion is a lot more intense and often manifests in a physical reaction (ex. facial expressions), not based on any reasoning while in contrast your feeling is based on logical reasoning. you could say a feeling is a way of explaining an emotion with thoughts which you have felt due to external experiences. this also means that not every feeling will always be accurate enough to explain an emotion and how you actually feel emotionally.

emotions cannot manifest ...

once again, a feeling isn’t the emotion itself. your feeling has nothing to do with our emotional state of mind but rather your mental state of mind. that means that your feelings, longterm, are more concerned with what you feel to be true or false, right or wrong and real or unreal.

mental · relates to the mind; thinking process.

emotional · relates to emotions; feeling process.

... only feelings can.

especially because a feeling does not necessarily have to correlate to an emotion, it is entirely up to you to define your feeling. you could replace feeling with what you accept, know or believe to be true. it's a thought. and an emotion isn't. you may not help the way you emotionally feel — and you shouldn’t! you should never suppress an emotion and feel sad, angry, etc. — but you can make the conscious decision to define your feeling. and since a feeling is a state, after all, you can manifest anything you'd like while feeling like you are at your lowest (or highest). your emotions will not manifest!

emotions arise.

as i was saying, an emotion is a pretty much sudden response. you may lose something and feel bad about it, maybe you had a fight with your friend or perhaps you were told some unsettling news. whatever it is, you will always feel some intense type of way from time to time.

emotions fade away.

the thing is, emotions come and go. you may feel super joyful one minute and then feel super sad the next. that’s totally normal, and we are definitely not trying to fix our wonderful human nature in any way.

emotional responses.

emotions are a response. when manifesting, when changing your feeling, you might also experience emotions of some sort. you may feel euphoric of manifesting something that has always felt very prestigious or hardly available to you.

but the same way, you could not feel anything at all. some manifestations aren’t going to move you the way some manifestations do, but that’s not an issue! the premise is, you don’t HAVE to feel excited. you don’t have to jump out of happiness whenever you think about how you manifested to find your keys you had lost the other day. remember, emotions come naturally. you don’t have to force them.

accepting and persisting.

the only thing you really have to do is to accept your desire as yours and persist in that assumption. feel it to be true, to be real, to be factual. that’s what feeling the wish fulfilled means. the feeling of your assumption to be realty.

with love, ella.

[taegimood]

— fate (c.sb) ♡

pairing: choi soobin x fem!reader genre: angst, fluff, smut rating: nsfw, mdni wc: 1.1k warnings: toxic ex (emotional neglect, abandonment), unplanned pregnancy, body insecurity, pregnancy/breeding kink, brief smut, let’s ignore the questionable timeframe lmao

a/n - this is actually not at ALL what i had originally planned for this concept, it was supposed to just be another one of my lighthearted smutty ramblings (which i might still do in a separate post cuz this concept + soobin’s breeding kink is too juicy for me to pass up lmao) but i like it regardless.. i haven’t done an actual writing piece in ages. this one might be weird tbh lol but i hope you enjoy ~ [written w my lovely @miupow in mind <3]

──────────────────────

it had been 12 months since you met the man who you thought would be forever — foolishly, blindly — the memory as bitter as the winter when you first saw him, mistaken then as something sweet.

it had been 10 months since you began to give him everything that he wanted — the body and the heart that you were never one to gift lightly — convinced that it was love, that it meant more in his eyes that you could never truly seem to read (though you always managed to fool yourself that you could).

it had been 6 months since you started doing anything and everything to make him keep wanting you, losing yourself so slowly in the process that you couldn’t even see it until one day suddenly you did.

it had been 3 months since he left you faster than the changing season when you told him the news, a hurricane of empty eyes and venomous words thrown like daggers that left you bleeding…

and it had been 3 months with a baby in your belly when choi soobin came into your life.

this time, the winter was nothing in comparison to the softness of his smile and the sunlight in his eyes when he stepped through that coffee shop door and into your forever.

—

soobin knew from the moment he saw you that you were someone he could see himself falling in love with.

he had no idea what made you say yes when he asked if you would have a cup of coffee with him;

(maybe it was the fact that he tripped and spilled his milkshake all over you while trying not to look like a loser as he passed by your table and then profusely promised to make it up to you and your poor pair of soiled sweatpants);

and he also had no idea what kept your pages closed even as he got to know you, what kind of shadow it was that would pass over your eyes at his compliments or what made you flinch at an accidental touch of your hands —

but he did know that more than anything he had ever wanted,

he wanted to see the smile reach your eyes.

~

falling in love with soobin came easily.

no matter how hard you first tried to fight it, deny it, run from it… it was as if loving him was something that you were simply made to do.

every soft smile, every careful touch, every word a caress as gentle as the breeze on a summer sunrise; every part of soobin slowly began to fill the cracks of your shattered heart with gold.

the day that he found out about the baby was the day that he told you his heart was yours.

“i know it hasn’t been long and i know i may sound crazy, but whatever happens or whatever doesn’t, y/n, i will love this baby, and i will love you.”

if this child’s father was a starless night then soobin was entire galaxies, the warmth and resoluteness in his eyes enough to melt away any claim that that man had left behind, and as far as you two were concerned, this baby’s real father was standing right here at your side.

——

it’s become harder to find room to love yourself these days as the months go on; your growing belly making it difficult to feel attractive, the insecurities that came with those months of feeling unwanted slowly creeping back into your mind and telling you that you’re not enough to make him stay.

logically, you know that your pregnant body is the only body of yours that soobin has so far seen, and of course here he is still wanting you — he proves it almost every night — but regardless you find yourself crippled by doubt and shame.

frowning at yourself in the mirror after every shower, stuck between the bubbling feelings of love for your baby and the guilt of hating how your body looks because of it.

little do you know, soobin has realized something about himself that he never saw coming before:

your pregnant body has him absolutely losing his mind.

he’s never felt so turned on in his life than when he’s got you laid across his sheets in the evenings with the curve of your swollen belly brushing against him as he slowly fucks into you, your tits full and bouncing softly with each thrust, small hands clutching onto him, your face flushed and beautiful and more undone than he’s ever seen it — free to let go of yourself in his arms.

it’s in these moments that he’s convinced he was made to worship your body with everything that he’s got.

soobin is so desperately attracted to every part of you, so determined to pour his love into you as many times as it takes for you to be able to see exactly what he sees every day;

he can’t help himself, can’t keep it in as he ravishes your cunt, the things he moans and whispers like a prayer in your ear enough to send shivers straight down to your core and push you over the edge every time.

you’re so so beautiful, baby, gonna be the most beautiful mama..

he touches you like he’ll never get the chance again.

perfect belly, perfect tits.. wanna fill you up like this, want you pregnant with my babies, f-fuck-

his name falls like a chant from your lips;

wanna give it all to you one day- wanna make you my wife and fill you up all round and pretty- you’re just s-so pretty, bunny, so perfect.

you feel prettier each time you fall apart.

i love your body, love our baby,

‘n i love you,

i love you,

i love you.

and when you ask him one morning if he means those things he always says, watching as a familiar rosy hue dusts across his dimpled cheeks, soobin takes your hand in his and promises you a lifetime.

——

it’s winter — your favorite season.

the air is crisp and full of starlight as you take a deep breath, the world falling quiet when you meet your husband’s eyes.

“the kids are asleep,” he whispers from the doorway,

and you’ve never been gazed at so tenderly.

you think about where you started and where you are now.

it’s been 5 years since choi soobin walked into your life, bringing the glimmering sun along with him.

5 years since he began showing you the meaning of well-kept promises and honest eyes,

of things that last and things that are allowed to be let go.

5 years since you welcomed your first child into your arms

and 3 since you welcomed your second; all beaming smiles and dimples just like her daddy;

and it’s been 12 months since your belly started growing with your third.

as you look down at the sleeping baby in your husband’s arms, every severed string of the past melts into one.

you smile at the boy from the coffee shop.

he smiles back, and soobin has all he’s ever wanted, because he has you —

because finally the smile reaches your eyes,

and he’s home.

[sugrhigh]

BOY NEXT DOOR 3 - ( c.s )

part two

summary- you and your roommates live beside a bunch of senior hockey players, one of them being the infamous team captain chris sturniolo. he’s effortlessly flirty and undeniably attractive, but he’s also a pain in your ass. you find that you have to fight between lust and hatred as you finally get to know the boy next door, whether you want to or not.

warnings- swearing, a bit of drinking

neighbor/hockey!chris x fem!reader

a/n: part three baby here we go! hope you guys enjoy!! if i forgot a tag it either wouldn’t let me or i missed it (if i missed u pls comment and i’ll fix it right up). anyways kisses for u all i hope ur having a good day, my inbox is open for anything as always MWAH

@cutenote @mattybsbitch @mattsmunch @breeloveschris @l9vesick @bb-1s-blog @sturnifyed @julessspoetry @annamcdonalds67 @beijhe @gnxosblog @braindead4l @hearts4matty @orangeypepsi @luckistar-posts @angelworldspost @ponyosturniolo @rainyenthusiastdaze @heartz4chris @sturnvvz @cupidsword @wurlibydominicfike @mattswrld @yoursopretty15 @poopydroopt @latinasforchrizz @bernardsleftbootycheek @trilliwarner

it’s been a day since the kiss, and you still haven’t told a single soul. for some reason, you’re way too scared to admit what happened to your roommates, even though you know they’d be the last to judge you for it.

and yet you just can’t, despite the fact that it’s been eating you alive for over twenty-four hours straight. saying it out loud makes it real, so you decided it was best to keep it inside.

however, you still need to give chris his jersey back, which you’ve been neglecting to do because you don’t want to see him.

or maybe because you’re scared.

it’s an involuntary thought, and it makes you angry. there’s nothing to be scared of, because he doesn’t have any power over you.

right?

you grab his jersey off the top of your dresser. it’s all clean, and it still smells like detergent from when you washed it yesterday. you’ve been putting it off all day, and it’s time for that to stop.

the sun is nearly gone, so you head down the stairs, silently thankful that ramona and cassidy are both are both runnings errands as you slip out the front door.

you’re in your comfy clothes, black sweats and baby blue hoodie that you stole from cass, and you’re immediately regretting the fact that you didn’t grab a jacket.

you hurry across the lawn, passing the cars parked in the driveway. there’s an unfamiliar red one at the end, and it almost makes you pause, but the possibility doesn’t fully connect in your mind yet.

so you head up the steps and knock on the door loudly, still very much so a woman on a mission.

it takes a moment, a long moment, before someone comes to open it for you. it’s connor, which is unfortunate, because you really weren’t prepared to speak with anyone besides the one boy you’re actually looking for.

he looks a little confused, but he smiles nonetheless. “what’s up?”

“i’m just, uh, trying to drop off chris’s jersey.” any bit of confidence you had is gone now as you choke on your words.

connor’s eyes widen a little as his grin fades, though you can tell he’s trying to play it off. “he’s a little busy right now, but i’ll get it to him.”

your eyebrows furrow as he reaches his arms out, like he’s trying to rush the process along without any more interrogation.

“busy with what?” you question, though you hand it over regardless.

he looks at you for just a half a second too long, like he’s waiting for you to piece it together, and then it clicks. chris is busy because he has a girl over, and that’s her car in the driveway.

you wish it didn’t phase you, but you can feel your face morphing into an emotion that borders disgust and anger.

“oh, i see.” is all you say, because you’re already fucking embarrassed beyond belief.

you turn and head back down the stairs, trying to ignore the way your stomach is flipping like you’re going to throw up.

connor doesn’t say anything. instead you hear the door close, and you feel completely numb as you walk back to your own porch. part of it is because of the cold, and part of it is because you feel so stupid.

you’re not sure what you were expecting, but that was exactly what you should’ve anticipated knowing chris.

you step back into the warmth of your own home, and even when you close and lock the door, a shiver chases you.

you head back up to your bedroom, kicking your shoes off by the door. you want further confirmation, so you peek through the curtains that hang over your window.

chris’s room, which is coincidentally directly across from yours, reveals nothing besides a dim light that peeks through the closed blinds.

you let the drapes fall back into place, still in shock. it was so ridiculous to believe for even a second that he was any different than he had been for the last six months.

you should’ve taken him at his word. he doesn’t date, and he’s not interested in you beyond teasing you or making you look like an idiot.

and you refuse to be taken for a fool.

you pace along the floor for a second until you decide you deserve some wine. you know there’s at least half a bottle in the fridge, and maybe it’ll help you calm the hell down.

a few minutes later you’re back upstairs, huddled up in your bed with a book you had started earlier in the day, sipping from your glass as you read.

it’s hard to fall into the fantasy world you picked out at first, but then you begin to feel your cheeks flush and your eyes are suddenly devouring the words.

you’re so enveloped in the plot, completely unaware that your roommates had gotten home until ramona walks in. it startles you, so much so that you lose your page.

she pauses to take in your state; the empty glass, the minimal leftovers in the bottle you brought with you, your droopy eyes.

“wine before 7 p.m. on the lord’s day? you’re crazy.” she jokes with a grin.

you shrug, also smiling a little bit. “felt like getting a little wild.”

mona puts a hand on her hip and nods toward the door she just entered through. “well, could i maybe convince you to take this crazy train downstairs so we can catch up on VPR? we’re like, three episodes behind now.”

you snap your book closed and roll out of bed, which you can tell by her snort looks far from graceful.

“all you had to say was VPR.”

you sit at your desk, gnawing on your bottom lip as you try to focus on the stupid online homework prompts that are due soon. the overcast afternoon light pours into your room, and you hear your phone buzz against the wood.

chris

still playing hard to get?

you roll your eyes before you can help it. the text doesn’t surprise you, because he’s been messaging you for the past few days, ever since he inevitably found out you stopped by from connor.

chris

that’s clearly a yes.

you wonder how many times he’s going to text you as you put your phone down to pull your hair out of your face, tying it up at the back of your head.

once again, you hear the device vibrate, and you flip it to glance at the screen.

chris

i can see you ignoring me you know

your eyes betray you as you glance out the window, just to find chris standing in front of his own. he’s pouting at you with his phone in his hand, hair all curly and damp like he just got out of the shower.

you stand up from your chair without a second thought and take a few steps so you can yank your curtains closed.

he might refuse to believe it, but you’re not playing hard to get. you just can’t fucking stand him.

chris

now that’s just cold

come onnnnnn princess

y/n

holy shit

do NOT call me princess

chris

you love it

y/n

i hate you

chris

if you don’t stop this i’m coming over there

y/n

i’d like to see you try asshole

chris

fine.

you pull back one curtain to call his bluff, and your heart actually drops when you see that he’s not standing there anymore. that just means he’s probably on his way over already.

you have no idea if cass or ramona are home or in their rooms or what. but you do know that you’re locking your door, and if he makes it through the house undetected he’s not getting into your room.

you sit on the edge of your bed for a moment, waiting because you don’t know what else to do with yourself. and then the knock comes, right before chris twists the handle and finds it locked.

“open up.” he demands, his gruff voice muffled through the door.

“no.”

“i’ll go downstairs and get cass if you don’t let me in.” he threatens, which doesn’t really scare you.

cassidy will kick his ass out if she realizes you don’t want him here. you’ll have to explain some things, but it’s probably time to do that anyways.

“you’re being a baby and you’re wasting your time. go home, chris.” you reiterate.

“come on, i just want to talk.” he wiggles the handle once again, like that will somehow open it.

“then call a sex addiction helpline.” you reply hotly, glaring at the slab of wood that separates you as if you can actually see him, though you’re glad you can’t.

“can you please open the door?”

“nope.”

“jesus, you’re so stubborn it’s ridiculous.” he groans, and you hear his forehead thump against the door.

he’s growing frustrated now, and even though you’re heated too, you kind of love it.

“so are you! how many times do i have to tell you to leave?” you shoot back.

it’s silent for a moment, which scares you. then you hear a small sigh.

“i didn’t think i would have to do this.”

the lock on the door begins to twist and turn rapidly, and you leap forward to grab it with your hand.

chris twists it hard and your fingers fumble to keep it jammed. your thumb is already in pain, and the harder he pushes the closer you are to failing. you’re finally forced to let go as chris comes shoving his way into your room a few seconds later.

even though he stumbles slightly, he looks so proud of himself, clutching the heavy duty paper clip he used to get inside.

“there, that’s better.” he says smugly.

you watch his eyes take in your room, covered in posters and full of random artifacts, and you hate it. for some reason, it feels deeply personal.

“holy shit, why don’t you just go home already?”

it’s impossible to keep your tone level anymore as you turn away from him.

“i’m here now, so you have to talk to me.”

“no, i really don’t.” you reply before plopping down onto your mattress, crossing your arms as you lean against the headboard.

“don’t be a brat.” chris follows your lead, even though you weren’t inviting him to join you.

he falls beside you, sprawling out on his back by your feet. his shirt raises over his sweats, exposing a bit of skin above the band of his boxers, and you have to tear your eyes away.

you can feel the warmth of his body, can smell his aftershave mixed with hints of some kind of fresh body wash, and all of it drives you crazy.

you curl your body into itself so there’s as much distance between the two of you as possible.

“why are you so mad?” chris turns his head slightly so he can look at you.

“i’m not mad, you just disgust me.”

this makes him smile. “i beg to differ, i think you like me.”

without hesitation, you extend one leg to kick him in his side. even though it’s not very forceful, he lets out a little groan of surprise, hand going to rub his hip as he frowns.

“you didn’t have to kick me, damn.”

“you deserved that.” you argue, tucking your knees back to your chest.

this time he stays silent and just looks at you. his eyes scan your face, darting down to your lips every other second, and you’re suddenly very aware of your surroundings.

“what the fuck are you staring at?” you ask in a brief moment of panic.

his eyes are so unnerving. it’s like he can see right through you.

“you’re pretty.” chris shrugs before averting his gaze back to the ceiling.

your face flushes, and you force yourself to remember the embarrassment from the other day, how stupid you felt after discovering that he’s still the same old player that sits beside you now.

“shouldn’t you be giving some other girl an STD or something?” you snap, and he huffs out a breathy laugh.

“first of all, i’m totally clean. and if you’d actually let me explain, you’d realize the girl that was over on sunday is just an ex fling who was picking up some old stuff.”

his clarification shocks you, though you still don’t necessarily believe it yet. he could be lying, even though it doesn’t seem like he is.

“you’re seriously telling me you weren’t hooking up with her?” you ask.

“it was strictly platonic. nothing happened.” he confirms, shifting to face you again.

chris lifts his hand to trace gentle patterns along your shins, and you don’t shy away this time. the feeling of his palms, even when separated by your leggings, is far nicer than you imagined.

“okay.” you mutter simply.

“you’ve been ignoring me the entire week and all i get is an ‘okay’?” he halts his movements so he can curl his fingers into air quotes.

“what would you like me to say?”

“an apology would be a nice start.”

you bark out a laugh. “an apology for what? for not talking to you? because i really didn’t take you for the sensitive type.”

he just shakes his head, nudging your legs with one of his knuckles lightly. “god, you and that headstrong attitude will be the death of me.”

“can’t wait.” you quip back, and now its his turn to chuckle.

silence settles over the two of you for a moment, and you’ve been far too close for too long, so you move to stand once again.

“alright, well, we talked. time for you to get lost.” you motion toward the door.

chris sits up, running a hand through his messy hair before he replies. “look, we don’t have another game until sunday, so we’re hosting at the house tomorrow. you should come.”

you raise an eyebrow and tap your chin, like you’re really contemplating. “i’ll have to think about it.”

“please? it’ll only be fun if you go.” he flashes you a charming smile, and you hate that it actually does kind of work.

“maybe i’ll make a special appearance. maybe.” you point a wary finger at him as he gets back on his feet.

“that’s what i like to hear.” chris says, making his way toward you.

you expect him to pass right by, but he lingers, like there’s something else on his mind. he stares down at you with those big blue eyes, and you can feel yourself slipping into dangerous territory.

“is there something else?” you ask softly, and the sound of your voice is maddening to him.

you don’t even try to tempt chris on purpose, he knows this, and yet everything about you is so enticing. not to mention he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about the kiss since it happened, or that pretty little mouth of yours.

but he shakes his head again, because the things he’s thinking about you so early on in this strange relationship frighten him.

“uh, no, sorry. i’ll see you tomorrow, hopefully.”

and then he blows right by you without waiting for a response, disappearing just as quickly as he arrived.