#what an epiphany | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

loveume · 1 year

Text

# plant girl 🌿

the first time nagi revealed to you that he had a cactus you were over the moon. you didn't think this boy could get any more endearing than he already was.

he holds the cactus up to you so you can see it.

"this is choki," he had said, with a small smile. "he doesn't need much, which is why we get along so well."

since then you and nagi have come a long way. in your relationship and in the amount of plants that you own. they canopy your living area, and bring a lot of light and love into your home.

due to each plant being different and having different needs, they each have their own watering schedule. which is why nagi is crouching by the windowsill with his little black spray bottle in hand.

the windowsill is where choki and the succulents live. you remember when you first got all the small succulents that line your window. it was in the first few months of you moving in with nagi, running errands with him on one of his free days.

"oh! we're almost done, just a few more things and we can go home." you'd said as you crossed another item off your list. when you didn't get a reply you looked up from the paper in your hand to find your boyfriend.

he was distracted by a small display of succulents just across from where you stood with your cart. his fingers carefully poking at each plant's leaves.

"succulents! how cute," you'd said once you made it to his side, "should we get some?"

the rest was history.

you think besides choki, those little succulents are nagi's favorite plants in the house. well besides the orchids that sit near your desk. he'd bought the orchid plant for you after you offhandedly mentioned that orchids were one of your favorite flowers.

he'd brought it home a few days after that and set it relatively close to your workspace so that when you looked away from whatever occupied you, it would be the first thing you would see.

nagi finishes spraying the succulents, moving to stand as he says; "grow well."

he turns to find you and his eyes narrow as he sees you making your way to the orchids, your own little spray bottle in hand. yours is emerald green as opposed to his black one.

you nearly jump out of your skin when a hand unexpectedly grabs your wrist.

"what're you doin'?"

you look up to meet the eyes of your boyfriend, his brows pinched together and a small pout forming on his lips.

"watering venus?" you answer, your head tilted in confusion.

"i'll do it." he insists, pulling you to him by the wrist he holds and practically crushing you against him.

"sei! why can't i water venus?" you ask, looking up at him with your chin resting against his chest.

"cuz it's my job," he replies without taking his eyes off the plant, "your's is to just look at it and think of me."

you stare at him mouth agape, heat flushing your face. you didn't expect a reply like this, it makes you curl your fingers into nagi's shirt and bury your face in his chest lest you melt into a puddle at his feet.

"you're so unfair seishiro," you murmur into his shirt.

nagi just smiles, rubbing your back with his free hand. he loves his plant girl.

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #nagi seishiro x reader #nagi x reader #nagi seishiro #had an epiphany and realized that in the spinning wheel of aesthetics i was a plant girl #btw nagi named the orchid plant venus because venus is the goddess of love and beauty which is what his girl is to him 🥰🫦#hope you enjoyed reading!#love.notes 💌

696 notes · View notes

devilinthebox · 4 months

Text

"At Robb's side. Where he belonged." - About Theon and Grey Wind.

Or : RobbTheon thoughts that make me lose sleep #1 (there will be more)

In Dance, an extended metaphor ties Theon to dogs – specifically, Ramsay’s female dogs. It has been discussed some in many posts since the book's publication (we're all very old).

“A dog who turns against his master is fit for naught but skinning.” It’s stated plainly. To the Northern Lords, to all the nobility, to all the people who know of his fate, Theon is reduced to being one of Ramsay’s dogs. He is collared and chained in the kennels with the dogs Ramsay named after his female victims. Theon even comes to think that of himself: “lower than a dog”.

“Reek,” he said. “Your Reek.” “Do this little thing for me, and you can be my dog and eat meat every day,” Lord Ramsay promised. “You will be tempted and betray me. To run or fight or join our foes. No, quiet, I’ll not hear you deny it. Lie to me, and I’ll take your tongue. A man would turn against me (…) but we know what you are, don’t we?”

It is the paroxysm of the humiliation he suffers from the moment he has been taken from his home (although his brothers’ treatment of him could indicate he had been humiliated even before that) to his capture and subsequent torture and sexual abuse by Ramsay (for details read this as I wouldn’t have the courage and talent to write it – it’s remarkable). As Theon uses the Reek persona to avoid Ramsay’s wrath, as he becomes – by force – complicit in Ramsay’s crimes and subservient to the point of losing his sense of self, it makes sense to compare him to a dog who has been taught by his master not to bite and to serve him.

Yet, we know for a fact that it doesn’t last. We know that ultimately, by virtue of being in Winterfell, Theon finds himself again piece by piece, enough to save an innocent girl with no hope of survival. He was never truly Ramsay’s dog. That said, the comparison struck me as being reminiscent of Theon’s thematic tie to another wild animal: Grey Wind.

Dogs and Direwolves share common features, of course. And there can be a confusion between the two. Guess what, Robb himself, the Wolf King, is compared to a dog in Dance, to demean him.

“The Young Wolf? He was a vile dog and died like one.” (…) “A dog, aye. He brought us only grief and death. A vile dog indeed. Say on.”

Theon even draws the comparison himself between Grey Wind and Asha’s Black Wind – linking in his mind Stark and Greyjoy. Yes. It makes sense somewhat, since Theon is on his way to persuade his father to ally himself with the King in the North. He has his reasons to look for a link between Stark and Greyjoy.

“Theon did not need to be told that Black Wind was Asha’s longship (…) Odd that she would call it that, when Robb Stark had a wolf named Grey Wind. “Stark is grey and Greyjoy’s black,” he murmured, smiling, “but it seems we’re both windy.”

Strange as it may be, Theon shares common attitudes with Grey Wind during the beginning of the war (in Game, essentially).

One thing that always stood out to me is how demonstrative Theon is in his devotion to Robb’s cause (Theon Greyjoy put a hand on the hilt of his blade and said, “My lady, if it comes to that, my House owes yours a great debt.” -> What the hell? You’re a hostage?)

We know after reading Theon’s POV that it was indeed genuine, as it stemmed from a true desire to be part of House Stark. More than that, Theon, who needs to belong and feel useful more than anything else, took pride in fighting for Robb, to be at his side. Bran is jealous of both, because they get to fight at Robb’s side and be close to him (“I’d sooner be a wolf (…) I’d fight beside him like Grey Wind” // “Robb the Lord seemed to have more time for Hallis Mollen and Theon Greyjoy …”).

As he talks about his role in Robb’s war to his Ironborn family, he only ever mentions his friend, his ideals, their plan for the independence of the North and the Islands. Theon never fought for the Northern cause (why would he?), he fought for Robb, and proudly so. And he was adamant to demonstrate it in an aggressive way, almost like Grey Wind growling.

“Kneel before the king, Lannister! Theon Greyjoy shouted.”

“The wolves do not like your smell, Lannister,” Theon Greyjoy commented.”

“Kill him, Robb,” Theon Greyjoy urged. “Take his head off.”

“Lord Frey would be a fool to try and bar our way, Theon Greyjoy said with his customary easy confidence. ‘We have five times his numbers. You can take the Twins if you need to, Robb.”

Not to forget his eagerness to please, his way to show his devotion: “Ser Brynden has seen to it already, my lady,’ Theon replied with a cocky smile. ‘A few more blackbirds, and we should have enough to bake a pied. I’ll save you their feathers for a hat.” (Like a cat offering you dead birds as a gift…).

Also, Theon shared a true friendship and complicity with Robb. After Eddard is murdered in King’s Landing, Catelyn searches for Robb and finds he had been with Theon, probably to find comfort and support. He is, aside from Catelyn, his most trusted confidante.

“Robb glanced from her to Greyjoy, searching for an answer and finding none.”

We know Theon spoke of his uncle Euron with Robb, which doesn’t strike me as something he would confide to anyone else (Theon doesn’t seem to speak much of himself, all things considered, as he tries to keep a cool and detached façade). They also had “secrets” and laughed together (most notably at Roose Bolton’s expanse – karma is a bitch).

Robb sends Theon to treat with Balon Greyjoy’s against his beloved mother’s advice because he trusts him (and, in my humble opinion, wanted to show Theon he trusted him, that he was more than a hostage): “Theon’s fought bravely for us. I told you how he saved Bran from those wildlings in the wolfswood (…) he’s been a hostage half his life.’”

There is a childishness to them both. They are prone to boyish mockery. Robb acts the same, at the start of the war, with his direwolf. He seems amused to see Grey Wind scare people at first. That’s before Theon’s betrayal (I’ll get to this). And this behavior is that of Robb the boy, the 16-year-old boy, not Robb the King, who will be at odds with his direwolf and his best friend soon enough. He is most himself with Grey Wind, with Theon.

“You did well,” she told her son in the gallery that led from the rear of the hall, “though that business with the wolf was japery more befitting a boy than a king.”

Robb scratched Grey Wind behind the ear. “Did you see the look on his face, Mother?” he asked, smiling.”

“What I saw was Lord Karstark, walking out.”

“As did I.” Robb lifted off his crown with both hands and gave it to Olyvar. “Take this thing back to my bedchamber.”

Theon is tied to Robb as a person, as is his direwolf.

Before he has his own POV chapters, Theon’s appearances, like Grey Wind’s, are exclusively tied to Robb’s. In Game, they both barely exist outside of Robb’s sight which does not diminish their strong, memorable, somewhat troubling presence.

“They passed beneath the gatehouse, over the drawbridge (…) Summer and Grey Wind came loping beside them, sniffing at the wind. Close behind came Theon Greyjoy, with his longbow and a quiver of broadheads; he had a mind to take a deer, he had told them.”

“’(…) I would speak with my son alone. I know you will all forgive me, my lords.’ She gave them no choice (…) the bannermen bowed and took their leave. ‘And you, Theon’, she added when Greyjoy lingered. He smiled and left them.”

“Robb sat in the bow with Grey Wind, his hand resting on his direwolf’s head as the rowers pulled at their oars. Theon Greyjoy was with him.”

Grey Wind served in Robb’s war. He killed and would have died for him. Just as Theon did and felt such pride about, as we’ve seen. They are both considered outsiders, in a way: Grey Wind doesn’t belong a civilized world, he is regarded as a monster, a savage beast.

Theon is described in similar terms by the people of the North, as he is Ironborn. He must be “gentled”, a term you’d use for a wild animal (“Your father did what he did to gentle Theon, but I fear it was too little too late.”). His own father treats him as he were a tamed, obedient, animal (“The Stark have made your theirs”). Theon is prone to violence as a recourse (“A dead enemy is a thing of beauty”), has a wild, impulsive streak. Catelyn qualifies him as “impetuous” in her POV.

In Game, he is second after the direwolves to rescue Bran (and Robb himself!) from the wildings who threatens his life. As a terrified and emotional Robb fails to show him gratitude for his intervention (I wrote an entire piece about this scene if you’re interested), Theon feels as humiliated as his loyalty is not recognized by someone exterior could believe is his “master”. We know better, we know Robb and Theon were friends. That said, from an external point of view, Theon might have looked like a prisoner eager to please his jailer. Tyrion Lannister in the show-verse put it like this: “Your loyalty to your captors is touching.” (And I insist, during their conversation, Theon says: “Robb is not my master.” It’s true! Yet, in the end, if everyone around him believed so, he may have started to doubt the sincerity of their bond, hence the desire to make a destiny for himself, far from Robb.)

At times, he seems as impulsive and ravenous as Grey Wind: “” Blood for blood”. For one, Greyjoy did not smile. His lean, dark face had a hungry look to it.”

“Theon Greyjoy sauntered closer. ‘Give her to the wolves’, he urged Robb.”

He can be ruthless – even cruel (I’m thinking of Beth Cassel) - in his pursuit of recognition from his “masters” (in this case, for his desperate quest for his father’s approval): “Once he had saved Bran’s life with an arrow. He hoped he would not need to take it with another, but if it came to that, he would.”)

In the same vein, Grey Wind is a formidable beast, and loyal, yet he is feared by all and loved only by Robb.

“Yet it was not the sword that made Ser Cleos Frey anxious; it was the beast.”

Contrast and compare with all those instances Theon made Catelyn or Bran uneasy with his rehearsed smile in Game; to his arc in Clash where Theon uses terror as a mean to an end, wanting love and respect and only inspiring contempt or fear (see: his last ACOK chapter, plenty of instances); to the unease he triggers as he has been turned to Ramsay’s thing in Dance.

Both belonged at Robb’s side. Theon realizes in Dance that he never should have left Robb’s side, as it was the closest to a home and true purpose he ever had in his life. As for Grey Wind, he is so important to Robb, such a part of his identity, that separating the two results in Robb’s demise. The Freys must cage Grey Wind to kill Robb.

Just as, indirectly, freeing Theon and creating a physical (and emotional) separation between them led to Robb’s death just as Grey Wind’s absence did.

“(…) And Grey Wind was at the king’s side once more. Where he belongs.”

“The wolf. The wolf is not here. Where is Grey Wind? She knew the direwolf had returned with Robb (…) he was not in the hall, not at her son’s side where he belonged.”

“Where was I? I should have been with him. I should have died with him.” The way it’s expressed reads as if Theon’s fate had been broken. As if the natural path would have been for Theon to be with Robb. If you want to see it, there is a mystical element to these bonds. Breaking them condemns Robb. Grey Wind, as all the direwolves, has magic (is magic?). Whereas Theon’s arc ties him the Gods – he has prophetic dreams, hears Bran through the Weirwood Tree in Dance, says with confidence “The gods are not done with me” and his very name derives from the Greek word for “Gods”.

After Theon’s departure and subsequent betrayal of Robb’s trust, Grey Wind is depicted as more agitated, unwilling to obey Robb’s orders. It can be explained by Robb’s torment (he becomes “somber”, depressed even, which is the trigger that leads him to Jeyne) and his growing distrust of his direwolf, who failed to warn him of Theon’s betrayal. And for a reason: Theon did not plan his change of heart; he was sincere in his devotion. Grey Wind must have sensed this, thus never expressed distrust towards Theon. The direwolves aren’t pets. They’re part of the Stark children. Robb is admonishing himself for having trusted Theon so deeply he failed to see his flaws (ambition, inconstancy, a deep-seated need to belong). It’s himself he starts to distrust.

The topic of Theon’s betrayal (which is best embodied by his supposed murder of Bran and Rickon) triggers Robb’s guilt and anger. Grey Wind becomes particularly aggressive.

“Jon would never harm a son of mine.” “No more than Theon Greyjoy would harm Bran or Rickon?”Grey Wind leapt up atop King Tristifer’s crypt, his teeth bared. Robb’s own face was cold.

As Robb becomes more irritated and has to control his temper, even with Jeyne. Here:

(I cannot help but notice the analogy between Grey Wind an “an arrow loosed from a longbow” here. Probably a coincidence – still!)

His relationship with his direwolf is strained just as his relationship with his closest friend and advisor. Robb seems suddenly ill at ease with Grey Wind’s savagery although it has served him many times in battle. He did not seem to mind before. Just as he tolerated – even appreciated maybe – Theon’s somber side.

“As they started up the steps, Catelyn asked (…) ‘Robb, here is Grey Wind?’

“In the yard, with a haunch of mutton. I told the kennelmaster to see that he was fed.” (// I’m sorry but I can’t help but be reminded of Ramsay chaining Theon in the kennels and promising him food as a reward for his good behavior – as a twisted parallel).

“You always kept him with you before.”

“A hall is no place for a wolf. He gets restless, you’ve seen. Growling and snapping. I should never have taken him into battle with me (…) Jeyne’s anxious around him and he terrifies her mother.”

And there’s the heart of it, Catelyn thought. “He is part of you, Robb. To fear him is to fear you.”

“I am not a wolf, no matter what they call me.” Robb sounded cross. “Grey Wind killed a man at the Crag (…) If you had seen –“

Theon, in Clash, is haunted by the direwolves. He has dreams where Robb and the wolves come for him. He also demonstrates his intimate understanding of the direwolves, acquired at Robb’s and Grey Wind’s side as he realizes Bran and Rickon have escaped from Winterfell. Their direwolves kill some Ironborn guards in the process: Theon immediately understands how. He even mimics it, in a way:

“Urzen said : ‘If he had sounded his horn –“ I am served by fools. ‘Try and imagine it was you up there (…) it’s dark and cold. You have been walking sentry for hours (…) Then you hear a noise and move toward the gate, and suddenly you see eyes at the top of the sair, glowing green and gold in the torchlight. Two shadows come rushing toward you faster than you can believe. You catch a glimpse of teeth, start to level your spear, and they slam into you and open your belly (…) And now you’re down on your back, your guts are spilling out (…) Theon grabbed the scrawny man’s throat, tightened his fingers, and smiled. ‘Tell me, at what moment during all of this do you stop to blow your fucking horn?’ He shoved Urzen away roughly, sending him stumbling back against a merlon.”

(Underrated piece of ACOK!Theon in his glorious unstable self if you ask me.)

Theon and Grey Wind are both ultimately rejected by Robb, who feels he has no choice (not that it wasn’t deserved in Theon’s case, mind you). Yet, by doing so, Robb abandons a part of him. The most emotional part. Robb is deeply sensitive (it shows in many instances, as with his mother in Game: “Mother I need you too. I’m trying but I can’t do it all by myself’ His voice broke with sudden emotion” or “He looked at her, his eyes shining, the proud young lord melted away in an instant (…)”) and could act like it with his most trusted companions.

Theon has a special bond with Robb. His betrayal is personal, and it is seen that way by the Robb’s bannermen. How fitting is Benfred Tallheart’s threat, in this regard:

“Theon wiped the spittle off his cheek with the back of his hand. “Robb will gut you, Greyjoy (…) He’ll feed your turncloak’s heart to his wolf (…)”

Of course, it has to be Grey Wind. And it has to be his heart.

#theon greyjoy #robb stark #throbb #asoiaf meta #valyrianscrolls #if you're interested in my theon & robb ramblings in the year 2024 here it is #asoiaf epiphany #i honestly started writing this just for me but what the hell i might as well post it

80 notes · View notes