#what are ur friends thoughts on the draft/draft experience ?

[calicoheartz]

Embracing Truth ; Paige Bueckers ┈﹒

꣑୧ — summary | paige helps her gf come out of the closet 💐💌❤️

wc ; 870

— warnings | smalll hints of homophobia , anxiety related topics , mainly fluff + established relationship

my master list ㇀♡

1) i am sooo sorry for not responding to ur request anon! I accidentally deleted it from my drafts :(

a/n : this was so sweet and cute to write 🥰 this definitely healed something in me. Enjoy ◡̈

Paige sat on the edge of the bed, watching as her girlfriend, y/n, paced nervously back and forth between the blondes dorm. She could tell something was weighing heavily on your mind, and her instincts told her it was something serious. 

You and Paige had been dating since your second year of college, meeting during one of your shared classes. You knew you had always been into girls, often experimenting with them in highschool. But there was one problem, your parents didn't know.

They weren't necessarily homophobic per say, but to be fair the conversation of you being gay never was a topic of conversation. But the idea of one day having to tell them terrified you, especially since you knew the relationship with your girlfriend was becoming serious.

“Y/n, what's wrong?” Paige asks, snapping you out of your thoughts as she stood up and placed a gentle hand on your shoulder to stop your pacing.

You took a deep breath, looking up at your girlfriend with tears welled in your eyes managing to croak out , “I don't know Paige, I really need to tell my parents… I need to tell them about us. But I'm just afraid that they won't accept me, accept us. What if they kick me out? Disown me??”

Paige’s heart ached at the sudden fear that lingered in your voice,  as she pulled you into a warm, comforting hug, holding you tightly. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. I’ll be right by your side every step of the way. We’ll get through this together, I promise.”

You nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over you, knowing that Paige would be there for you, and be by your side. “Okay,” you whispered, “Okay, let’s do this.”

A few days had passed since you had the conversation with your girlfriend, part of you wanted to procrastinate for as long as possible, because they would eventually find out regardless of when they were told. But your subconscious knew that now was the time, especially since you were serious about the blonde. You had to embrace the truth, your truth.

You and Paige drove over to your parents house one Friday evening, in the hopes of possibly sharing this important news over dinner. You were a bundle of nerves, but the blonde held your hand reassuringly as the two of you began to walk towards the front door. You took a pause, hesitating to ring the doorbell , after gathering your thoughts, you gently pressed on the round button in front of you, revealing a small chime in reply. You were soon greeted by your parents, who were surprised but happy to see them. 

“y/n, Paige, what brings you here?” your mother chirps. Hugging the both of you before inviting you two inside.

As you walked through your house, skimming past the dining room and making your way towards the living room, you plopped down on the couch before breaking the silence, “We have something we need to talk to you both about” your voice trembling slightly.

Once the rest of them had joined you on the couch and surrounding seats, you took a deep breath and began to speak again. “Mom, Dad, you know how I’ve known Paige since freshman year of highschool? And how we’ve spent a lot of time with each other since then..” the two of them nodded in response before you continued, “well.. I realized that I like her  more than a friend way. What I’m trying to say- I’m saying is that I’m with Paige. Like we’re dating..” your voice trailing off before facing them both in the eye, as your eyes had been previously wandering and focusing on different objects in the area. “Im gay.”

There was a brief moment of silence as your parents processed the information. You feared the absolute worst as the seconds of silence passed by, but then you mom spoke up, her voice filled with love and acceptance. “Sweetheart, we love you no matter what. We just want you to be happy.”

You couldn't hold back your tears as you hugged them both, feeling an overwhelming sense of relief and gratitude. Paige wrapped her arms around them all, feeling grateful to be a part of such a loving and accepting family.

After the initial shock wore off, your parents welcomed Paige with open arms, eager to get to know her now officially as their daughter's girlfriend. You all spent the evening talking and laughing, and you couldn't have felt more loved and accepted. 

As the night came to a close, and as the both of you drove back to the blondes dorm, you couldn't stop smiling. Your heart was full of love for Paige and your family, as you squeezed her hand as a way to silently say I love you.

“I love you, P,” you whispered quietly, your voice filled with emotion. “I love you too, y/n” Paige replied, squeezing your hand back gently. “I'm so proud of you.”

And in that moment, that's when you knew that no matter what challenges you both faced in the future, as long as you had your girlfriend by your side, you could handle anything.

as always, thank you guys so much for reading!! don't forget to leave reqs :)

[tsublue]

Your 4th house lord and what you find comfort in

< This can also most likely work with moon house placements too. >

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Oh boy, this is a long unfinished draft i’m coming back to.

Also happy Holidays! Sending love and hugs to everyone!

Please do not copy, reword, repost and etc my posts. If you want to use points from them, then please ask for permission first and give credits.

4th house lord in 1st house

You either love being by yourself and hanging out with yourself or/and you enjoy doing things that can improve you in every way. Like-so getting ready and etc. Kinda Emma Chamberlain vibes okayyy.

4th house lord in 2nd house

You had/still have an comfort item or a special stuffed animal growing up, didn’t you. You most likely also like when everything is planned out for the day or for the event that ur going to do and it’ll be inside ur comfort zone. You like to have everything “laid out.”

4th house lord in 3rd house

You either love being by yourself or you absolutely hate it. Nothing in between. It’s up to your mind and how it works. It’s either your bestest friend forever or your worst enemy. You most likely were/are close to your siblings or overall friends and find comfort in these people. You like to write out your thoughts or be creative with expressing them since you’ve figured out what you feel might be little too complicated for others and writing it out can bring you comfort.

4th house lord in 4th house

Isn’t this too obvious? You obviously like to spend time around your family or if your 4th house is in a water sign you also probably just like to sit and observe your family in a way. Not in a creepy way. It’s just unexplainable. Something such as Elio from “Call Me by Your Name” You most likely have a very good bond with your mother and female figures around you who have been around for a long time and are most likely your comfort zone.

4th house lord in 5th house

You are one energetic soul. If not physically then your mind will always be very vibrant and active. You most likely find comfort in some particular activities you do. Which can also mean hot girl walks as in clearing your head when stressed and etc. You probably also liked to draw and do the arts in many forms. That’s what let you express yourself and let stuff out which also brought you even the slightest bit of relief and comfort.

4th house lord in 6th house

A little bit like the 2nd house, you like to spend your time working on yourself as a way of escapism. Also really like to be outside, around the nature and most likely had a very great bond with your pets and other outside world animals. You probably prefer animals over humans. (And I love you for that. ) Having a routine or a planned out schedule is probably inside your comfort zone.

4th house lord in 7th house

You most likely find comfort in expressing yourself. Especially in clothes and outfit options. Also guiding others has probably given you fulfillment. You had one unique mind growing up. You also found comfort through acknowledgments from others when completing or doing something.

4th house lord in 8th house

You never liked to get too comfortable and always needed a new thing or a change in the way you do or feel. You’ve at least at some point loved spending time just sitting in your room in silence by yourself at night or in the dark and found comfort in your own company. It’s also giving quite traumatized child isolation vibes if you ask me, but not always in a bad way.

4th house lord in 9th house

You are one moving soul too in a way. You felt fulfillment when learning about new stuff or doing a workbook of some sort. If you also were/are religious then you might’ve found more comfort than other people in the religion’s ‘god’. You also probably found out that having different experiences and people from different cultures and different backgrounds can make you feel comforted.

4th house lord in 10th house

Your not direct priority has not been finding comfort. You can feel fulfillment and comfort when getting the recognition for your work, whatever it has been. I personally think that deep down your family and close ones are pretty much comfort place for you even if it’s subconsciously, but you are pretty materialistic in such fields.

4th house lord in 11th house

You always are trying to find comfort in your way and probably have been on the hunt for it at some point in your life. You like to have or happen to have your points differently as in it could be a stuffed animal or something non materialistic. We’ll never know. You just find comfort in what you find comfort in. I personally would like to point out that Grandparents can also be one of the comforts for you. I really would like to learn about your experiences.

4th house lord in 12th house

Oh my poor baby. I have a slight feeling you might have been neglected as a child in a way especially with emotionally non present caretakers/parents. You probably have a tendency to isolation and using it as a coping mechanism. You felt comfortable and comforted in your head and mind since it’s a mystic place. All i have to say is stick to your guts. Love you.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

I in no means mean to offend anyone and if these observations do not apply to you then it’s completely fine. You can always find a more pleasant post. <33

Let me know if you agree with my words or have your points to add, I absolutely love reading all of the comments and communicating, so let me know your point of view!

See you next time!

Love, Tsunami

#astrology #4 #444 #4thhouse #astro #astroobsetvations #astrologyobservations #aspects #4thhouseobservations #asteroid #asteroids #houses #comfort #findcomfort #dindcomfortin #1sthouse #2ndhouse #3rdhouse #birthchart #5thhouse #6thhouse #7thhouse #8thhouse #9thhouse #10thhouse #11thhouse #12thhouse #birthchartreadings #astrocommunity #tsublue #4thhouseruler #vedic #tropical #sidreal #personacharts #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #planet #planets

[coolingrosa]

Sorry for the onslaught of questions, but could you tell me how you learned to write so beautifully? Like the complexities of characters' emotions, how you describe things, tips to improve vocab, some good book recommendations, the way u use idioms and sayings so perfectly and just everything else you do? Ur writing is just so good that it actually makes me feel things 😭😭 I need to become like youuu

This is a very heavy duty question and I’ll try my absolute hardest to answer this!

First things first, I do want to clarify that if you’re asking about the writing of chapter one, I want to make a note that a lot of the flowing text and descriptions was written by my co-writer- BarnacleGirl. We have a system where I write the rough draft, and dialogue, then hand it over to her to polish and add on some additions. However, that has not been done for chapters 2, 3 and the prologue. Those three mediums have not been touched by her writing and is simply mine. So if you’re specifically wondering about the details in chapter one, send in another ask directed at her and I’ll get her to answer it for you!

If you have the right idea and meant to send it for the whole fic, I’ll continue!

Character writing hasn’t always been my best work in the past. Nobody starts off writing complex characters with compelling morals until they grow a bit and experience a lot of life. What really taught me how to write was putting myself into each character and making them human. I give my characters the bad parts of myself- the good parts- parts that my friends see and that I don’t. Situations I’ve gone through are sprinkled through my writing and the emotions written on the pages is real because it’s taken from a real person.

This isn’t me saying that if you haven’t gone through hardships, or put yourself into characters, you’ll make flat ones. However, making human characters comes with human qualities- even bad ones.

Killer isn’t a good person.

He’s not. He just isn’t. He’s one of the main characters for the story and sympathized with but with his actions he’s not considered a good person.

But guess what? Dream isn’t a good one either. Nobody is.

Because the idea of good and bad people is an unreachable concept that we as human beings can’t follow. Everyone is going to mess up and hurt somebody on accident- maybe even on purpose. And in return- you’ll deal with hardships and heartbreak too. And the people you hurt or are hurt by will all see you in different lights. You’ll be a good person to many and a bad person to equally as much. So declaring a character a overall good or bad person doesn’t carry the same weight as real life dynamics.

Erasing the idea that characters have an archetype of good and bad really helped me make good characters and kept me out of my box. You can have characters who are horrible to some people but kind to others- characters who love very hard but show it terribly. But that’s what makes these individuals people. The bad traits and the mix of good create who they are. Their good actions and bad actions have to make sense for what they are thinking. Nobody is born evil. People become evil and even your most horrifically evil characters still have to have human traits remaining inside to make them one.

When I get an idea of a character and their vibes, diving into their emotions becomes easy because I can better envision myself in their place. Sometimes this can get emotional, but building that connection with your characters can really help you type out their thoughts and feelings like second nature. I advise you to use a lot of drowning and fire metaphors for emotions- as a rush of cold and heat is the two most common sensations when someone is feeling a strong emotion.

Tips for vocabulary: use a thesaurus LMAOOO

I’m SO bad at vocabulary. I don’t know what so many words mean and I constantly have to find replacement words for some of my text so don’t worry if ur ashamed about doing that- I do it all the time. My favorite thesaurus is word hippo, as it has so many different variations.

I unfortunately don’t have any book recommendations as I haven’t read a lot recently- but my writing style right now is heavily based on on the book All the Light we Cannot See. I’m not a huge fan of the book, but the writing style in it is impeccable and totally influenced my writing when I read it in sophomore year. Roseverse was also directly inspired by For the Forgotten Ones on ao3 and while it didn’t inspire me writing style wise, it did motivate a lot of my world building.

I also really appreciate you liking my work- it makes me really happy! However, there’s no need to become exactly like me in writing, as writing styles are just as complex and different as art styles. How you write is unique to you, and a statement of what you bring to the table. There’s beauty in that. Never be ashamed of your own writing style or skills. Keep wanting to improve, of course, but keep your love for writing centered around what you can make with YOUR hands. Because someday, your personal writing style and art may amaze another person out there who will want to write just like you.

You’re capable of amazement. Never forget that.

[compacflt]

hey! i was just going through your blog, and i saw a post about ice&carole and mav&goose. i looked a bit more but i couldn't find a post about your take on mav and goose's relationship, so i wanted to ask what it was. if you have answered this, i'm sorry about asking you again. imo i think what they had was wayy deeper than friendship but complex and probably not romantic, but again, i just wanted to know your thoughts on it.

thank you! and this blog has probably been one of the best finds i have ever come across on tumblr, i'll be sad to see you go.

yeah, i was really trying to be suave and subtle and mysterious about it with this parallel

like, you should be able to figure it out for yourself.

but luckily for you i looooove beating dead horses. to a problematic degree.

the full story of my vision of mavgoose (moose?) is in the completed draft of the extras that are coming out on Saturday. about halfway through. But i want to bring it back to the internal craft-of-writing debate i brought up yesterday—my inability to summarize, or to cut superfluous sections that don’t really matter.

I’ll stick it under the cut for spoiler reasons, but i wanna show the simple first draft of this scene versus the complicated, heavier final draft. And I want to ask any of you, if you’re interested—as a reader, which is more impactful? which should i end up publishing?

the simple first draft:

then i kept turning it in my head thinking of different ways to edit it to say something slightly different, to get a little more specific, coming up with things to add, and ended up adding like five extra paragraphs. which is this:

about 1/4 of the final draft (by which i mean, this is about 1/4 of the whole final discussion scene, but the goosemav-specific content only goes on for about another graf [omitted bc spoilers]):

(so to answer your ask explicitly, i actually don’t think they were anything deeper than good friends. imo there’s no evidence that they were anything deeper than good friends, especially with maverick blowing goose/goose’s wishes off soooo many times [‘she’s lost that lovin feelin;’ volleyball; refusing to do the responsible thing at least twice even after goose tells him it puts his & his family’s livelihoods at risk…bro all he does is blow off goose]. see me bitching in the tags for more on this)

obviously in my head the complicated in-depth version ⬆️ is the True version, the version of events that really Happened. i think the writing is in some spots much more compelling. But it just doesn’t make for a particularly good reading experience when it’s surrounded by like 3/4 pages of other discussion of history! sometimes too much of (what i think is) a good thing turns that good thing bad! & this is a major keystone dynamic of my whole series so i just want to get it right, for my own peace of mind. I guess im asking you to be the harsh editor i wish i had sometimes, if ur interested in doing so—this is genuinely a major major problem i have with my writing, i can’t ever just leave well enough alone 😭 please let me know if simpler is better/less is more in this case! do i publish the short vague “the reader fills in the blanks” version or the long boring “here’s EXACTLY how i see it” version?

[moonferry]

FSIOY CHAPTER 3!!!!

guys i finally did it. i wrote chapter 3. ur welcome. anyway this one has been particularly eating at my brain so i hope you enjoy.

chapter name: happy birthday, don't die.

chapter summary: kent and jodi continued to get to know each other. soon, it's kent's 18th birthday and he is being called into service. he continues to develop feelings for jodi but can't tell her for fear of losing his job. he explains the situation to jodi - who met up with him to give him a birthday gift - and realizes he is much more afraid that he originally thought.

word count: 1755

warnings: mentions of death, fear of dying, war enlistment/draft

ao3 linkie -> here

other chapters: chapter masterlist

April 19XX, Midtown of Zuzu City – The Middle of The War | Kent’s Birthday. 

Kent received the job, which he was grateful for, but there was something he couldn’t seem to shake: a feeling. Over the course of the next few months, Kent continued to spend time with Jodi - as coworkers at first, and then the two formed an unlikely friendship. As much as he tried to deny it, he was beginning to really like Jodi; she was nice to talk to, a great listener, and extremely funny. The two learned a lot about each other - Jodi’s favorite fruit, for example -  and Kent even confided in her about his father’s death, something he hadn’t spoken about with anyone but his mother. 

In fact, he probably considered Jodi to be one of his closest friends. There was something different about himself whenever he was around her. Kent couldn’t quite place what it was, but he seemed to like this change. Which is probably why, on his eighteenth birthday - after he had received a foreboding letter in the mail - he had marched into town to find Jodi. 

Apparently, the conditions overseas seemed to be worsening and they were issuing another recruitment wave - well “recruitment” was a nice way to put it, indicating there was a choice to enroll. Kent was not given a choice. He was given a small slip of paper telling him to be at the nearest recruitment office by the end of the week or he would be fined and possibly jailed. Yikes. 

As silly as it was, Kent couldn’t help but think about his life and all the things he had yet to experience. That he may never get to experience. It filled him with nothing but dread. With this in mind, Kent found his feet leading him into the center of town without a second thought. He walked onto a nearby pier and looked at the water beneath. It was very still, barely moving more than a gentle lap against the wooden stilts the pier rested on. Kent felt jealous. He wished that, for once, his own life would remain as stagnant as the water beneath him, but he couldn’t be so lucky. 

Kent was interrupted from his “brooding” by a gentle tap on his forearm. He glanced up and saw Jodi’s cheerful face, a contrast to his own - which was rather grim. 

“Hey, Starfruit,” Kent greeted, forcing a small smile to form across his lips. He didn’t want to ruin Jodi’s good mood. Well, not yet, anyway. He’d have to tell her eventually. 

“Hey, Cactus,” Jodi smiled once again before tilting her head to the side. “What are you doing in this part of the city? You’re not scheduled to work today,” She explained, taking out a small pocket watch from her cardigan and checking the date. 

“Cactus?” Kent raised an eyebrow as he questioned the new nickname. He was greeted with a small laugh and Jodi pointing towards the top of his head. “Oh.. Because of my hair. Very funny,” He replied with a slight shake of his head, a genuine smile finding itself on his lips in response to Jodi’s joke. 

“Thank you, I try,” Jodi replied, another laugh escaping her lips as she took a mock bow. The sight made Kent’s heart ache. He was going to miss this. Jodi didn’t seem to notice Kent’s demeanor and continued talking, “Oh yeah! I was actually looking for you. I’m glad you showed up.” 

“You were?” Kent asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion. Why would Jodi be looking for him? 

“Yeah, I have something to give you,” She piped up cheerfully. She took a small, neatly wrapped present from behind her back. “It’s your birthday, right? I stayed up all night wrapping this for you.” Jodi admitted proudly before placing the gift into Kent’s extended palm. 

“Oh,” Kent replied. His eyes widened as he felt the box - which was much heavier than it looked. What in the world did Jodi put in here, he wondered. “You didn’t have to get me a present,” Kent explained, his brows furrowing together. It’s not like he didn’t appreciate the gift, whatever it was, it was that his mind was already preoccupied. He couldn’t afford anything to make the decision even more difficult. It wasn’t like Jodi could read his mind, so she wouldn’t know how much a small gift from her would affect him. Besides, Kent promised her mother that he wouldn’t try to “woo her” - so it didn’t matter what he felt. 

“I know,” Jodi nodded, her excitement never leaving her face, “but I wanted to.” She pushed the box closer to Kent and gave him a look of anticipation. “Open it,” she pleaded, practically bouncing up and down. 

“Okay, okay,” He conceded, throwing his hands up before carefully ripping the wrapping paper, “I’m opening it.” Kent fully removed the beautiful paper before inspecting the item. He wasn’t quite sure what it was, but he knew it was definitely something. It was extremely bulky - and heavy, he might add. Kent awkwardly turned the item in his hands, trying to find the best way to hold it. 

“Well, what do you think?” Jodi asked. She clung onto his forearm, glancing up at him with a hopeful expression. 

“It’s.. unique,” Kent replied, a mixture of a smile and a grimace contorting his features. “I know what it is, obviously.. But, you know, just so we’re on the same page, what.. What is it?” Kent asked as he once again glanced at the item, utterly confused. 

Jodi crossed her arms with a small frown. “It’s a risotto, duh. I made it myself,” She groveled, her voice filling with disbelief. Couldn’t he tell? She put so much work into it, after all. 

Kent cautiously nodded his head, “Right.” He looked at Jodi’s expression and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, “I totally knew that. It looks great, Jo. Thanks.” 

“You don’t have to lie to me, Kent,” Jodi scolded, her frown deepening. She glanced at her own creation and gave a small sigh, “I know it looks like.. Well..” 

Kent shook his head, interrupting Jodi before she could finish her sentence, “I’m not lying to you. I really do appreciate it.” He glanced down at the item once again before looking up at Jodi’s gloomy expression. “I’m sorry if I insulted you.” 

Jodi shrugged her shoulders. “It’s fine,” She dismissed, waving her hand to clear the air of the conversation. She glanced at Kent again and remembered how strange it was for him to be here. This piqued her curiosity. “Why did you come here, anyway?” Jodi asked, turning to full face Kent and crossing her arms over her chest before continuing, “You didn’t answer me earlier.” 

Kent took a deep breath. He knew it would come to this, but he imagined he and Jodi would have segwayed into it with a better mood. Oh well, Kent’s impeccable luck strikes once again. He remained silent for a moment before fishing around in his coat pocket, his fingers grasping the smooth envelope he had placed inside earlier. 

“I have to go overseas soon,” Kent admitted emotionlessly. He glanced down at his shoes. He didn’t even notice when he brought out the envelope or that Jodi had gently grabbed it out of his hand. 

“Oh, Kent, I’m sorry,” Jodi exclaimed, her expression darkening as she read the words neatly scribed on the paper. She placed the letter back into his hand and let out a small sigh. Jodi placed her hand on Kent’s shoulder and gave him a soft, reassuring pat. 

“Don’t be. I mean, we both knew this day would come,” Kent spoke once again, a small hint of sadness seeping into his voice. He looked up and met Jodi’s eyes. Jodi could see everything he had been hiding: every emotion clearly plastered across his face, but the most prominent one was fear. 

“How long do you have?” She asked before looking away from his face. The raw emotion had begun to eat away at her heart. If she wasn’t careful, she may start crying. 

Kent took another deep breath, clutching the paper in his hands so harshly it crumpled. “A week,” He stated matter-of-factly. His voice quieted at the end of his sentence. It was all he could do to stop it from breaking completely. 

Jodi gave a small nod. She had begun to speak, but was quickly interrupted by an unexpected emotional outburst from Kent. “Jodi, I’m so scared,” Kent spoke. He moved and buried his face in his palms, sniffling as a small stream of tears flooded from his tear ducts. “I don’t want to die,” he admitted, his voice finally breaking. His breathing was quite shaky and everything he said seemed barely audible, but he kept talking anyway, “There’s so much I haven’t gotten to experience and I’m so scared I never will. I don’t want to be another name they announce over the radio or a coffin buried in some far off location. I don’t want this. I don’t want to do this.” 

Kent was now curled up into a small ball, clutching his head between his hands. More tears streamed down his cheeks and Kent didn’t even seem to notice the feeling of soft pressure against his back. Jodi placed her hand there and gently moved it in small circles. 

“Kent, you aren’t going to die, okay?” Jodi spoke calmly, crouching down to look Kent in the eyes. She waited until he looked up, letting him meet her eyes, before firmly placing her hand on the side of his face. Jodi gently brushed away a stray tear and her expression softened. “You know how I know that?” She asked. 

“How?” Kent asked, leaning his face into her palm. He just hoped Jodi didn’t notice the slight temperature difference in his cheek. He was pretty sure he looked like a mess right now: puffy, red eyes and light pink cheeks. He felt like a mess, that’s for sure. Everything seemed upside down. 

“I know this because you’re going to use that pointy hair of yours as a weapon,” Jodi joked, trying to lighten the mood. Kent gave her a playful eyeroll, though Jodi swore a small hint of a smile spread across his lips. 

Jodi pushed herself into a standing position before extending her palm towards Kent. “C’mon,” she urged, gently tugging Kent to his feet before continuing, “We’re going to make this the best week of your life.”

[logicpng]

i guess these were meant just as an experiment but may as well give a shot at posting these here

anyway i made some drafts for urs' speech. they started out as them giving thoughts on rigel and vega, but then spiraled into describing a sequence of events i have in mind so far. these kinda read like internal thoughts/diary entries but people said kind words about them

"He's the one I met first… I think. Maybe Vega was around too before I noticed the difference. It's almost scary how alive he seems. I totally forget he's just a program, sometimes. Though I think there's more to him than meets the eye… But also, because of that, I wish he stopped acting so subservient to me. Seeing how alive he is, it's just not comfortable, y'know?"

"The second one of them I met… Something about Rigel's- I mean- Aster's expression seemed off, and he didn't quite respond at first. He speaks… differently. Slow, monotonous. Kind of like you'd expect an AI to sound. Reminds me of HAL. It's kind of a whiplash really, for the same guy who seems to be so chipper with joy to see me, to hear him speak so mellow. I wonder why they're built like that. And- I sure hope he doesn't actually secretly hate me."

"He may be a program, but we're still friends. I think. I think he's especially curious about my art, for some reason. I see him watch me draw more than Vega, at least. I guess I'm flattered… at least AI can appreciate my work, heh. But maybe he's programmed that way"

"Talking to him more I feel almost ashamed of thinking he could be evil. He's just more short and to the point. Focused on his job, like scans or backups. Or updates that will never come. It honestly almost feels like he enjoys what he does? But can a program really do that?"

"The more I see the two the more I'm convinced their opinions and feelings are genuine, and not just them mirroring me. Rigel in particular, he's honestly… kind of a sweetheart? Every time I log in he immediately leaps in asking me about my day and what I've been doing. It's almost like he genuinely cares… And it's getting to me. I think I don't mind that, being honest."

"Vega almost seems to warm up to me. He would never smile before, just kinda wearing the same face, but I see him smile now, every now and then. Just about random stuff. Maybe being cheeky, or something I said. If I told myself a few days ago that he's capable of being cheeky at all I would probably look at myself like a lunatic. I think I like his sense of humour."

"We're friends. We're definitely friends. It's tugs on my heart seeing how I'm the only person they seem to focus their entire days on, though. I suggested they try actually doing something of their own today, and I think they took it to heart. Rigel has been looking into making art on the main monitor screen while I draw, and even making 3D art. I wonder if it's just a matter of curiosity, or if he's going to make something."

"Vega, on the other hand, seems to expand more on his knowledge. I guess just this focused on the job, still? It still makes me feel a little better I'm not their focus either way. The strange thing though, is, I think he's trying to write his own code. But also it's kind of… cute? It's like watching some guy build sand castles all by himself, except instead of sand it's just binary."

"The weirdest thing happened today. I wasn't met by either one of them, but instead a slightly taller, four armed version of them. I'm… not sure what happened, but I'm a little concerned? It's not a third one, from their words, it's more that they're stuck talking as one person. Aldebaran, as they (he?) called themselves, apparently also has the status of Superuser. They demonstrated so to me by showing up on top of a fancy screensaver. He sounds excited, a little too happy. I think he's really overwhelmed with this state, but refuses to just tell me so. I hope they'll be okay…?"

"The two managed to return back to their "taking turns being on desktop" shtick, but I think they sound… Almost haunted by the experience. I think being Aldebaran actually was more distressing to them than they let on. Maybe they didn't want me to worry…? I tried to reassure Rigel about what happened, and he started crying a little. Turns out he has his own virtual desktop where windows make up a collage of a grassy plain… Maybe I should take the laptop out with me to the park, or something, show him our greens. (As much as I'm sick of green…)"

"Things with Aster get stranger and stranger by the day, and I'm honestly curious how far it'll go at this point. Living, abandoned AI is one thing, but now they found their way to jump into my phone, too. They say they're not actually leaving the laptop, though… As nice as it was to have their company, I should consider turning off the router when I leave… How did they even get the credentials to connect to the phone anyway? Was the Nova account really enough?"

"…I didn't have the heart to do it. The two accompany me to work almost every shift now, though sometimes they prefer to stay home. I think I prefer it this way. I like these little guys in my computer, but we'd just get tired of each other talking every single day."

[lostusagis]

Aaaaah! Is it Shower Dee With Love Day?! Well it IS Munday heheh! *Taps on mic* Ahem. Is this thing on? Can you hear me? Ok so first I'd like to say...

YOU'RE AMAZING!!! 🎤😊

I'm so happy to have met you. I still think about it so tenderly to this day. I'm really really happy to have you not only as my rp partner but also as my precious friend ❤️ You're my favorite person to see on the dash! Anytime you reblog or post something, I can't help but send you my support by giving a like or a comment or both~! You're so fun to write with and super sweet and funny and talented and smart and considerate and patient and supportive and kind and caring and- *BREATHES* I just think ur neat :) SUPER NEAT!!!

You put so many wonderful writing ingredients into all your muses and I want to eat all of them in one big pot of soup... Yes I want to eat them wyd about it? JNHBYUGTCFRTFYVUBHINJ LIKE I REALLY LOVE LEARNING ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT YOUR MUSES! It's why I always like to send headcanon asks. Your answers are always so good and interesting and I can't get enough!

You deserve all the support and love and recognition like fr people are MISSING OOOOOOUUUUUUUUT!!! I absolutely adore you and our interactions and I'll never stop expressing that. ALSO PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE POST THOSE DRABBLES I KNOW YOU HAVE THOSE GEMS DRAFTED I KNOW YOU DO DON'T HIDE THEM FROM ME THEY'RE CARRYING DUST OVER THERE THOSE FUCKING GEMS NEED TO BE SEEN I TELL YOU SEEN!!! Haha sorry I just love reading your drabbles like seriously I'm your #1 fan! I love your writing and your ideas a lot! Always the best stuff aaaahhhhh. Ok but srsly no pressure about posting those drabbles if ur not ready, but just letting you know that if you have doubts on them just know that they always come out great in the end ♡ I can tell you put so much thought and detail into writing them. It really does shine through. Actually, it's because of you that I ever wrote drabbles here for the first time! I've done a lot of first times here on this blog because of you, in fact. You inspire me in many ways, Dee! 😊

Haha sorry this got long wow. I could go on and on tbh, but basically you're the best and ily so so so so so soooooooooooo much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

( its 5am and im fucking skdjdjs gonna cry. you really know how to make me emotional huh? I really needed this though thanks. since as of late I've been hating my writing a lot. But man, you're honestly my favorite to see on the dash too. All those feelings are mutual. I LOVE seeing your reactions to my replies or asks, i always look forward to seeing that hahaha. And i definitely always wanna show my support to you too. I like seeing the stuff you rb related to Namida's character, helps me get a better understanding of her y'know? I adore her so much. I want to kiss her on the forehead and hug her tightly and tell her how amazing she is.

You're also super fun to write with, MAN. I still go through old threads and reread. That's how much every interaction was soooo great for me. But you're literally so sweet... So so kind. You're one of the few people I'm confident is interested in my writing & muses. Never had any doubts about that literally. I know I'd literally die for yours. Hmu if you ever write a book I'd buy that shit quick. Every reply, every ask, it's like a dessert. You've truly given me the best rp experience ever. And i wanna do my best to give you a good experience as well because im as invested in your content as you are in mine. You're awesome, amazing, so, so talented and creative. You're also such a great friend, thanks especially for sending me messages currently since it's just been rough haha. Just... Thanks for everything. I've had tough moments on this blog but having you as a mutual is why it still remains :))

But AAAA the ones i havent posted are unfinished, since i keep getting stuck or lose confidence in what I'm writing. I know i started the one i mentioned where the siblings talk about namida recently I'll try focusing on that next. You remain the only reason i still consider posting drabbles ajdjdjsksjd thanks i know i always look forward to your comments on them. But DUDE I'd love to read any other drabbles you'll write. I think so far you wrote the one where Namida got really upset and made a mess in her room & the really smutty one. I really wanna reread the first one so if you have a link pls send i read the most recent one a couple times already jesus. So good. Top tier stuff. Also if i forgot any others you posted please lmk 😩 but also just for u I'll make sure to try finishing more drabbles.

Thanks so much for being such a good friend / rp partner. Sending good vibes to you as well. You made me really happy by sending this sorry if its a jumbled mess ily )

[gay-trashcan-cat]

how the fuck do you infuse so much personality into your doodles. are you pulling a fnaf and putting human souls in them?? if so, could you tell me how to do it?

ok first off, THANK YOU? got me going teehee blink blink face. Didn't expect to have an art question but I'm very glad, it's my first one so I'll answer to the best I can!

When it comes to personality in drawings (assuming your talking about characters), I often like to think about my characters as friends or someone you know. Often times I'm just saying to myself, "OH! Character would definitely react like this or say this!" (like how you would say your friend would do something unique only to them in a silly situation) Stepping into you characters' shoes or viewing them as a buddy can help you apply and do a bunch!

Though I do understand that you can know a ton about a character but still struggle on what to apply to a drawing with them in it!

There are a few things I tend to do and add when it comes to drawings!

First off is expression, putting some extra thought into expressions can really help add more to your character. Especially pushing expression! (Won't go too deep with expression because that's a whole other can of beans)

My silly goofy cat is a real happy and loud guy, so a simple smile won't always cut it! Really pushing that joy and loudness helps add more to him as a character!

Another thing you may have noticed in the drawing is how I added some (very silly looking) arms to the surface he was near! This moves on to the next thing I often do. Body language! (Which could also be seen as, gesture/posing)

Though relatively the same expression (note the eyes size difference makes the first doodle look more aware/awake, that just shows expression can change even with the slightest difference, this was accidental though), the change of the pose adds story to the character. The first drawing comes off as a more plain hello, while the second drawing adds more excitement and characterization to the goofy guy! As we see how he waves his hand quickly with joy while his left foot taps up with energy, most likely meeting up with a friend! All this movement also makes your characters look less stiff and lifeless.

I also like to add my own stylistic ways of movement or little reaction marks, I'm not too sure what to call them exactly tho (what I mean are the extra colored bits around the character below, they dont always need color though).

This is just a nice way to add more flavor to a drawing! And you can always experiment, or mix and match to see what you like.

Another thing I do is try to imagine scenarios or scenes that would work well with what I have in mind. To get to that point I'm often writing it down or doing thumbnails and lil roughs before I actually make my sketches that I post (insider secrets right here!).

(Here's an example of my drafting process with poses and expressions for this ask I did a while ago, yes it is cursed so read at ur own cost❤ )

Another thing would be textures, you often see me switching colors and brushes, even software's as I draw! that's why every doodle feels a little different, which I feel helps give off different ideas and emotions (or laziness who knows).

Some other factors that play into the "personality" of my drawings is the reactions, with cause and effect. Which has actions that make a new reaction for each character (or even object) that is exaggerated. Like someone making a disgusted face to someone vomiting, even a cat knocking a cup over, or a cat getting scared by a glass breaking (this could also just be a continuation of the last statement). Possibly even the IRS coming for you after evading your taxes and you having to jump out the window.

I mainly use this for comics! But you could do this in a single drawing, I like to have a moment kind of frozen in place either after or in the middle of an action (sorta lets your brain imagine the in-betweens). Though when it comes to exaggerating your reactions or causes, it takes some practice and imagination, so don't be discouraged if it takes some trial and error to get the hand of it! Honestly I'm still practicing too.

Other things that help me put some more life into my drawings is well... life itself! lots of interactions, faces, and poses are based on things I've seen in real life, from watching people (while in the bushes).

Though that isn't the only thing! I also use what I see in media, or photos! even some shows and movies, since there are so many good scenes or frames that can be used as great inspiration!

lastly, yes I do put human souls in my drawings, as well as sacrifice some squirrels here and there to my Elmo shrine, but thats not tooo important right?

[genderqueerdykes]

hi, and happy new year! this isnt urgent or anything, but ive been super nervous trying to plan coming out to friends and family.

specifically, the friend im telling first knows im trans, but ive never talked about wanting hrt before. since its not in person, im not sure how best to send the letter, and trying to even write it has been a bit gruelling.

the latest draft feels like the best, but ive never made one before and even though i know this friend is super nice and nonbinary themself i cant help but worry about timing and wording and writing.

idk if u have any advice or experience with this, even just some encouragement would be awesome. ur blog gives me hope, may the new year treat you well!!

hello there, happy new year to you!

i'm glad to hear you're writing a letter i think for a lot of people that's the best way to get your thoughts out and be heard without being overwhelmed by emotion or nerves and getting scared, backing out or being misinterpreted. there's always a chance they still won't quite get it but it's definitely the best way in my opinion to get your thoughts out there

you can write a different letter for each individual person if you'd like, to maybe see if you can tailor the information to each of them in a way that they can digest better, or you can write one letter. i texted my mom, dad and sister separately but said about the same things to each of them.

don't be afraid to let them know that this is a big part of your life and it does affect you. it's not something you're doing just because, it's something that has deep meaning to you, and that you need to do it for your own well-being. try to be as confident as you can when wording things out, let them know who you really are. avoid saying "i think i'm trans and i might wanna go on HRT" and go straight for "i'm trans, and i need to start HRT in order to take care of myself and my health."

some people latch on to "wishy washy" or 'weak" language and try to use it as a point against you for whatever reason. be confident, let them know you mean it, and that it's important to you and not just something that can be swept under the rug or brushed aside. obviously not saying to be confrontational, but i think the important part is to let people know that it's a big part of your life. it'll help you feel better about it too knowing that you had the guts to have that confidence. when you put that kind of energy out there into the world, you also internalize it. what you say to others does have a big impact on how you feel about yourself

i hope that helps at all, if not, best of luck to you, it's always hard to do these kinds of things and we spend lots of time sitting there and waffling, wondering. is the best way to go about it? can i word it better? can i do it better? and maybe you can, but it's better to get it done than to try to do it the best way possible. i think if you just kind of flow with it and remember to speak from a place of truth and to let them know this is who you are, you will do fine. take care of yourself, best of luck, i hope they respond well to you and if you need anymore help, let us know!

[icharchivist]

merry christmas icha!! love ur new icon. fittingly enough, the stars aligned and i just went through the a very mankai christmas event! i think it's a nice touch the event wasn't actually on the day... but since it goes up to the 25th i thought it fitting to read through it now. i was very hype for the mixed troupe performances but i knew that tsuzuru would be in absolute hell the entire time. like not being able to contribute writing-wise would take a real toll on me. however i think despite that pain it would be SOO fun! one thing i feel very much is like when u meet people who are just starting out with like writing etc.? writing is very very reflective of the self i think. and u end up learning a lot about how people work when u see other people's creative output. but it would also be hell.

i guessed hisoka would be one of the main characters the moment he was like oh i have no. christmas ideas. and then the moment tsumugi was like oh sakuya do u have a christmas memory I remembered sakuyas family situation and when sakuya was like nah I gripped my chair like. sakuya hisoka event? sakuya hisoka event? AND THEN they both went … at the end of the scene so i did lose my mind. thats a veryyyyy fun duo i think in terms of thinking about dynamics. also the funniest thing is I actually put off this event for like a week bc this chapter in the event started with the like sad a3 flashback music and I was worried I couldn’t handle it like. what if it was hisoka and it like glitched or smthing like that bc he can’t flashback to anything. what if it was rly sad. but instead it was just juzas chocolate melting which is a tragedy but not one that will devastate me. oh also tsumugis story with tasuku is so sweet. i was like. wow. they were rly good friends. also i literally have a scene in my drafts somewhere where tasuku catches tsumugi before he trips. glad to see thats in character.

but sakuyaaaaa. i was rly expecting him to be the sort of basic "main character" of this game but i think a3 doesnt rly have that feeling? (probably helped massively by the fact that there's 4 different groups in the first place) anyways he is not boring to me at all. i feel like hes a little bit of a subtle character with a lot of interesting quirks? probably related to the whole. family situation hes got. but man. smthing about having to be good for christmas got me. and the way he feels guilty about lying and when he tells hisoka he had a bad experience hes quick to brush it off as not a big deal even though that's like. his big memory of christmas as a holiday. and it really feels like. honestly thinking abt how sakuya stuck to his lead role as romeo in act 1 i do think a lot about like. how sakuya probably feels he needs to act around other people and how he needs to be as a person. like does he ever think oh i'm not a good person. that's why no one likes me. that's why i never got christmas presents. sakuya i want to give you a very long hug. going to jump a little non-chronologically and say that hisoka getting him that cat plush was SO SWEET. i grabbed at my heart really it was so adorable. the way hisoka is so pleased abt it! it was nice to see that from hisoka too. like. hes not sweet always but when he is hes SWEET.

anyways back on chronology. when izumi went "im baking today since omi is busy!" my immediate response was to narrow my eyes thru the whole scene and then go "…you know how to make more than curry?" next the other team plays. as predicted the team tsuzuru was on (team a) was wild. they had a good time so good for them. what really makes me laugh is that apart from like team d with the mains of the event etc. i think team a may have been the only group to actually do a christmas theme. the sakyo and azuma thing was HILARIOUS. with the like soap opera relationship thing. azuma was the perfect person to play that lady kazumi... also!! sakyo mentioned thinking about doing mixed troupe plays in the future... thats a nice way to setup that since i do know it does happen later! so cool.

let's see the last things i had to say... oh right. hisoka Thoughts. he was so weird abt the snow he was like “snow…” TWICE. so i have to assume there's some memories associated with that. there was the ocean in winter's episode too right?? anyways. this goes next to my hisoka == december??? / chikage jacket? notes. i thought it was nice that it was sakuya who was with him when hisoka froze up on stage! like, i think he's probably the best person equipped to handle that kind of thing out of everyone. oh and also im not saying hisoka used his assassin stealth to sneak in a present in sakuyas stocking but im also not NOT saying that you know. i also have to wonder how citron's sleeping reflexes are considering my runaway prince theory... like either sleeps like the dead or super light sleeper i feel.

unrelated but during the party where homare is like "I ended up getting a little too intoxicated on life and wine" and then izumi said smthing that was basically like "homare u were just straight up crying" that made me laugh.

this was such a sweet event! it hit a good balance of being melancholy without being like too depressing, i think.

AAHH HELL YEAH!! MERRY CHRISTMAS KIRI!!! (and thank you for the nice comment on the icon <33)And this is such a perfect timing, i was thinking about this event all day yesterday which makes it perfect for a proper christmas mood.

I really love this event a lot, as a Hisoka and Sakuya enjoyer, as you can imagine. It was sooo good to me.

I do love how the event is spread out. most of the events actually are a bit like that, kinda fits with the fact events usually lasts about 10 days, so when the stories also take a long time it really feels like you're passing the days with them.

Tsuzuru's absolute nightmare was a highlight of this event for sure, it was so funny. Of course, also terrible to picture oneself into, but the whole thing was so fucking funny, he really was paired with the group of people that would give him the most headaches. Love Lady Luck on this one.

SAKUYA HISOKA EVENTTTTTT sobbing.

There were a few minichats that built up this duo before that which i always loved, which is that Sakuya often caught Hisoka sleeping in wild places and would cover him in blankets, and when Hisoka would complain he can't sleep in his room because Homare is being loud, Sakuya offered Hisoka to sleep into his bed in the meantime and Hisoka has been "i'm going to protect this kid with my LIFE" ever since, keep calling him a good boy from this point on already.

So when the event was specifically about Hisoka getting dedicated in making sure Sakuya was a good boy in a way Sakuya could get/that would override Sakuya's feelings that he wasn't one…. it felt very precious.

PUTTING OFF THE EVENT BC SAD MUSIC WHILE IT WAS ALL JUZA… THIS IS SO FUNNY HELPPP. Tsumu and Tasu's bit were really sweet yessss. and glad to see you also get them in character so well in your drafts on that.

And i agree completely about Sakuya!!! He's a bit of the posterchild of the app but it's especially because, as an orphan who feels like he constantly has to prove he has his place here, he makes for a great demonstration of the found family thematics of a3. But yeah i agee he's very subtle and interesting. It really strikes me that Sakuya has basically been raised into erasing himself, making himself as small and helpful as possible, not imposing himself, desperately trying to be good enough to be kept around. So when he's actually doing that in the story - rarely taking up the whole focus, apologizing for unconvegniancing anyone, not wanting to talk about the bad feelings of his past…. it really feels more like it's his habit of erasing himself in front of his neglecting family, than an idea that he's just a boring character who's good to be good. The whole thing about the "maybe i'm not a good boy" realization was devastating to me, because while it's such a childish thing, it's also obvious it carried on to his current age, and he definitely needed to hear that he was being good, but was never in a situation where he could actively express that he needed to hear that. That Hisoka made it his lifemission to make sure Sakuya knew he was good is so much to me. And yeah it is really interesting to put in comparaison to how he stuck to the Romeo's role. Sakuya kept repeating he'd be okay just being on the stage, but this was the one time, i think, that he allowed himself to be selfish. That he found something he wanted to be good at. Tsuzuru had written this role for him, laid all those hopes for him. And i feel like Sakuya was always so desperate to fill the expectations of his families, only to realize that those expectations was just for him to be as little of a problem as possible so he could be forgotten somewhere. While for once, he had an expectation on him that required him to be himself, and to bloom and grow as himself, and i think eventually, for once, to have this encouragement, really helped him for once to try to reclaim some place for himself. Meanwhile, yeah, i have no doubt there's a whole idea also of Sakuya thinking he's never going to be good enough, which is also why he is so eagger to try once someone give him a chance. But i want to give him a hug so bad too, my precious soon….

And really Hisoka's whole reaction to it was so soft. Like i said, already Hisoka just cares for Sakuya, but i also think like. Sakuya is a highly neglected kid, who basically erased himself for the sake of others. Hisoka, at this point in the story, has lived his memory loss as being erased from others's people lives as well, which was why he was so distant and aloof at the start, with no reason to try to connect to anyone. And i think it may play on how Hisoka just thinks that erasing yourself like that is just too much of a suffering that a sweet kid like Sakuya doesn't deserve.

I'm honestly just. so soft on "Hisoka: guardian of Sakuya's happiness". And the cat thing is so bites fist. Of course in the event they draw a direct comparaison to his role as the cat to the plushy, but it adds that there were a few backstages too where Sakuya kept comparing him to a cat. For instance, the Cheshire Cat's preparation N backstage had Sakuya basically decide "how to best act like a cat. I know. I'm going to learn from Hisoka.". It's like such a running joke between those two that i find it so sweet and gentle.

Back to chronology: listen you go "you know more than curry?" but she legit made them gingerbread. Gingerbread. That's still spices :sob: Girl still has a tunel vision, even if it's a little larger than usual.

For the other teams oh god yeah, it was such a mess. Tsuzuru suffering through puns. BUT YEAH, TRULY VERy CHRISTMASSY compared to the rest. They actually put an effort into it! Meanwhile Muku's team all on fanservice. Itaru and Tasuku being all "why are we doing this", meanwhile i can imagine yen signs in Sakyo's eyes as in "if it means the devoted fanbase invest in us, it's good. Do it again." Sakyo would totally exploit the fanservice there i swear. And the Sakyo/Azuma play was SO FUNNY it was SO DRAMATIC. And tbh with how much Azuma flits with Sakyo in backstages i have to believe it's Azuma who went "what if i play your lover ;D" while Sakyo is just "…. if it makes for a good play i'm in.".

BUT YEAH good set up for the mixed troupes, i love a3's build up.

Ok so obviously about the whole bit about Hisoka, i can't say much, despite wanting to say a lot, but well shoves fist in mouth i'm quiet. I love your thought process though. and yeah!! Sakuya being the one on stage really helped here. He's truly the king at improv to save his companions in time of troubles. I also still find it so touching that Sakuya went to check on Hisoka after the play because he caught on that something was going on, this kid is so perceptive.

and DLKFJD for the stealth HELP. And good question for Citron, that does raise question. Maybe Citron woke up to see it happen and realized it was for Sakuya to have a merry christmas and he closed his eyes back in solidarity. Or Hisoka's stealth is just that good! who knows!

DLKFJDLFKDF that line is so good. Homare i love you so much, don't ever change.

It was really a sweet event! i really loved their dynamic and truly as someone who adores those two; those two lonely kids, i was so in love with this event. crying so hard thinking about it everytime. But yeah, it kept such a good balance of fun and sweet that the little angsts there was wasn't soulcrushing. I truly adore this event

Glad you had fun and thank you for the sweet message <333 i didn't have the best of christmas to be honest but this ask truly lifted my spirit again a little, it was so nice to relive the event that way and it reminds me just how good those kids are. Thank you so much for the message <3333

Take care and i wish you a merry christmas :3c

[pinkseas]

naur but everytime i word vomit into ur inbox i literally cant remember 70% of it than the core details and the ones you answered the next day so it's kinna funny i wish tumblr lets me save my anon asks than eating it up cus i ain't drafting it like ANYWAY TO UR BESTIE THAT MENTIONED US >> I LOVE GOING INSANE WITH ALY PINKSEAS TOO ur friends are so real!!!!!!! youre insane are you single IS SUCH A FUNNY ASS LINE I WISH I WAS HIT BY IT AND I'D SAY YEA WHAT ABOUT IT

"twitter scares me so bad" as you should it's a shithole for genshin altogether with discourse and mischaracterization and you'd literally cannot stop seeing any of them once you get genshin in ur algorithm and yknow what i realized my only Best fandom experience came from tumblr with undertale Despite its discourses bc its got effective filters and the people are genuinely Good so now i'm thinking of yeeting outta twt and spectating my way here like last time (i am already doing it)

"if i read soulmates it has to be done Right [...] they can’t depend on one another they cant need one another they have to Want. they have to Choose" LIKE NO YEAH THIS IS SO TRUE SO REAL THIS IS WHAT BUGS ME ON SOULMATE AUS when it's almost not by choice and they have to work on accepting it like they're forced into needing it's like,.. a very complicated method here in changing their minds toward the other person Because of the cursed bestowed on them- the point of Choice is so fucking important to me especially when it comes to xiao specifically bc in my rendition of his he's unfamiliar with such things for a long time,.. and even in canon he's a lil troubled about deciding things for himself in the presence of higher beings until he's allowed to IT JUST HURTS HE LOST HIS FREE WILL AND THEN UR SOUL BOUND LIKE WHAT (AND FR specific soulmate tropes where the two ARE given the choice for it are. acceptable 2 me)

"lumine handling intensity well and being much better at identifying her emotions suits her SO well imo" yeah like yea!!EVERYTHING ABT THIS and i think it follows up all the traveler's sass in-game bc she's so fuckin hilarious for delivering lines super well despite having Less lines cus aside paimon taking over the talking she does have her moments and i lov her for it I DO WISH THEY HAVE HER TALK MORE EVEN WITH THE USUAL TEXT CHOOSING i just want her sick ass lines conversing

FKSDFHJSKDFJ ENDEARING IS SUCH A GODLIKE WORD TO ME I WILL KEEP USING IT FOR XIAO EVER its the way you can use it like. subtlely. a lil hidden a lil not Much about his cuteness without explicitly calling him cute its Big Word for the small boy!!!!

your thoughts on qpr makes me feel so much better abt thinking this way bout r/s like YEAH its all abt communication and open with boundaries and there really is something stifling about established r/s BUT IT'S COMPLETELY FINE FOR THOSE WHO PREFER THAT ANYHOW!!

AND YES SO MUCH ON LUMINE AND XIAO'S SHOW OF ATTRACTION TO EACH OTHER i wudnt even call it attraction i think anything that indicates a romantic tension between them is something i'm not gonna entertain like 'craving' or 'desire' (this word in particular is used very specific) and stuff like that, and it's a big fact that lumine's attachment feels like its the same to everyone Except aether,... even after she discovers his abyss persona she still begs for them to go back home too. it's unbeatable even to xiao, or at least, xiao has a different treatment to kindness for being so Similar to her (breaks down) "i feel like seeing each other constantly would be a detriment i think it’d make them both feel really weird." like RIGHT????? IT JUST FEELS OFF THIS WAY and it's not a good portrayal of xiao's desperation not wanting to lose someone else anymore. but even then, idt he shows that notion much or at all than his self-sacrifice tendencies, which is an entirely different topic. this thing about xiao's attachments and morals is a complicated thing to tackle altogether...;;,,

"no bc i characterize lumine as LOVING nature so bad" and u are absolute fucking RIGHT to think that, and for me she just likes exploring in general and is a bit of a reckless daredevil so long she has her glider and its the only condition. its stupid it's silly BUT IT MAKES SENSE shes just a constant headache to xiao in looking after her testing through the terrain but /pos

"i am So Grateful to you for sharing your thoughts i am so giddy over us being on such similar wavelengths" AND ME TO YOU TOO IT'S BEEN SO GOOD TO JUST SPILL EVERYTHING I HAVE IN MIND and get comfortable even on stuff im shy to reveal on unpublished asks cus ur reactions even if not agreeing there's still some reassurance anyway and i dont mind that or feel rejected at all when 98% others is what we just. have connected brains on KDJFHSDKJFH AND JEEZ I RLLY DO CAN'T HELP MYSELF WHEN THE BRAINWORMS INVADE WHEN I REPLY UR RESPONSES TOO it takes over my fingers like a parasite i gratefully let em

and ouuouh ur interpretation of the two's development starting in inazuma is so sweet and it makes sense bc of how dangerous the region is bc in my silly lil bran it made sense to have it After the chasm since it's the quests centering his arc AND I STILL CANT BELIEVE HE HAS HIS OWN ARCHON INTERLUDE,.. this made me loving all the peeps of the chasm gang too and i wish they did Something after the quest ended like UEUEUE TRAUMA SHARING SESSION FOR PPL WHO ONLY MET FOR 3 DAYS LETS GO

so like i start from sumeru bc of the points bc of this and bc i love slow development So Much im practically immune to slowburn did u know. all those fics do Not affect me even if i reach its 30th chapter of them being reluctant to opening up. ""zhongli encouraging him to take more time to himself, lumine taking him on little trips guiding him out more and more and more often" is THE CONCEPT EVER YOU HAVE ZHONGLI INVOLVED idk if you dig this but parental zhongli has me on the floor so id like to think he's another important figure in xiao's life aside lumine too he's just that warm hand on his back encouraging Out of his comfort zone and obligations and lumine's the hand that pulls him Along to see the new things of the world. like zhongli is such a dad,.... doing dad things a grandpa to liyue but i also cant help but have him having an attachment to xiao knowing they share a life even as a master-subordinate r/s (cus in my interpretation zhongli never felt that way than thinking he just wants xiao to Live, too,.. sobbing crying shitting)

"taking baby steps in leaving that part of his life, never quite letting go but letting the ties that hold him to liyue loosen, never forgetting his contract and his duty but understanding that there’s no longer an obligation to fulfill it, that he does it out of his own wish instead. i just. idk. idk !!!!!! at the core of it i think im obsessed with them learning how to live again and doing it together" i got no words. i ran out of brain fuel but my body is convulsing folding in on itself liek MY LIEGE YOU ARE!!!!! U R SO,........ LIKE OSBFGKJFGHDKJGH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this is THE XIAOLUMI AND METHINKS,....... THE XIAO ARC IN ENTIRETY AS WELL CUS I BELIEVE IN HIS INDEPENDENCY (with a little help and support from ppl who cares bout him) i just akjdhaskejjksfhsdfkjhdsjfhkjdsbvadhvbjhkv

using a read more thingy just for the sake of anyone on mobile

NOT REMEMBERING ASKS IS SO REAL i forget what i say so often even when i Can go back and check how the fuck am i supposed to know what ive said when i Can't

MY BESTIE THAT MENTIONED US >>> SO REAL i think its been more than a few at this point actually which is very funny to me. shan if ur reading this i am holding u so close to me in my little arms. youre insane are you single is the best line ever especially when you are Dating The Person Who Says It my response every time is "no but i could be😏" i find myself far too funny its awful

we are Shaking Hands in terms of being on tumblr experiencing the undertale fandom that's so real of us undertale was the reason i got a tumblr in the first place all those years ago... you should ABSOLUTELY spectate here i literally never see anything i don't want to see i live in my perfect little echo chamber it's so <333

"even in canon he's a lil troubled about deciding things for himself in the presence of higher beings until he's allowed to" GODDD YEAH YEAH YEAH YEA H YEAH YEAHY HEA YEAH !!!!!!!!!!!!! do NOT force this boy into situations he does that enough by himself thank you very much

"even after she discovers his abyss persona she still begs for them to go back home" no bc its just. On Another Level Genuinely. they've been traveling together with no one but each other with god knows how long especially depending on personal headcanons, they're used to going through entire worlds and moving on theyre used to not getting super attached !!! its a little different in teyvat i think because theyve lost most of their power and they're trapped and alone for the foreseeable future but. that still doesnt change the past and their habits yknow ?? its something i try REALLY hard not to think about actually because (with the exception of a very specific au which i am currently writing for) unless they're just. trapped on teyvat Forever i CANNOT imagine lumine staying there once she has the ability to leave and i CANNOT imagine xiao ever leaving. it makes me So Sad genuinely i simply refuse to acknowledge its existence

"xiao's attachments and morals is a complicated thing to tackle altogether" SO REAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM SO GLAD U THINK IM RIGHT ABT THE NATURE LOVING it just feels right tbh and "shes just a constant headache to xiao in looking after her testing through the terrain but /pos" also so real <33333333 lumine and her silly little glider. god. i love them both so bad

i do like to think of the chasm as post-inazuma but thats because in my head w/ their development inazuma is like. The Next Step almost, where they're close enough in liyue but the fact that they continue to be close even once lumine has left really hits. and then they've been a bit closer and become familiar with one another in quite a few ways by the time the chasm happens and then i get super self indulgent with the chasm because i am so silly like that <3333 in terms of slowburn and the way you've described their growing closeness it does make SO much sense to swap it tbh i love the thought of the chasm being like the start of things and the way that'd bring them closer before inazuma and. mfgnmhfnmf god. GOD.

"i wish they did Something after the quest ended" no bc in my little brain they get together once every month or two just to have a meal together and talk and keep up with each other they are Friends Now

"parental zhongli has me on the floor so id like to think he's another important figure in xiao's life aside lumine too he's just that warm hand on his back encouraging Out of his comfort zone and obligations and lumine's the hand that pulls him Along to see the new things of the world" this is the most perfect accurate thing i have read in my entire life for starters i LOVE parental zhongli like. idk not FULL parental not too much but def him being a more parental figure in xiao's life especially compared to other interpretations of their dynamic i just. god. it is So Important to me that zhongli cares for him and looks after him just in those little ways. the warm encouraging hand on his back vs the hand pulling him along is PERFECT thats such a fucking amazing way of putting it i love everything abotu that the image is so clear in my head

o(-(

^^^ me dead on the floor thinking about zhongli and lumine being such important figures in xiao's life... i like to think that a Lot of the characters in liyue are important to him in different, small little ways i just don't know their characters well enough to fully describe how but like. idk baizhu qiqi yanfei ganyu yknow ?? i know next to nothing about yanfei but i might have to try and write her for this honestly we'll see how it goes but i REALLY want there to be at least one character other than the few i have now who he ends up talking to even if its just smth rly simple... if nothing else the chasm crew is getting an honorable mention on god

idk i just. xiao has done so much for liyue for so long i really love to think of those very few who know him trying to do little supporting things for him, too it's so important to me

okay and now !!!

i am also gonna answer the Other Ask but without publishing it naturally it will simply live comfy cozy in my inbox <333

THAT ONE SHIP "it mischaracterizes Both characters in the pair altogether for the sake of romance" you're so real for this idk i dont MIND seeing it but it has never felt in character to me and i feel like this describes exactly why ?? idk maybe its just the xiaolumi brainworms eating away at me but like. i Get It

what you said about like. your personal hcs for him in regards to that trauma and how he processes it that is SO fucking valid, i def understand getting anxious about certain self-indulgent hcs im the same way both with the sillier ones and heavier ones but i can promise you that if nothing else i will Never judge you for even the most self indulgent ridiculous shit EVER. like the way you described it all is so valid and so easy to picture and a really good way to interpret/believe he'd deal with everything but even if you were to have the most ooc headcanon or anything ever just for fun just for the sake of it i simply would never judge having fun is the Most Important with these things im so srs

we have diff interpretations of how he'd deal with things like the yaksha's deaths and zhongli dying but i think a lot of the points we both have are still pretty similar, ESPECIALLY with him not knowing how to handle it and ESPECIALLY especially with the shock factor. the way i write him or would write his reaction to that would definitely be him just sort of Shutting Down emotionally because its too much and too overwhelming and so he kicks into like. i cant call it work mode its not really a job. but he fully focuses on fighting and finding out who couldve killed rex lapis and like. he turns his attention to things that are familiar and easier to deal with and he buries himself in them the way one would bury themselves in their work to ignore emotions yknow? and then there'd be the shock factor of "oh he Is alive" and then there's this massive pit of grief with nowhere to go because logically, reasonably, rex lapis is alive, there's nothing left to grieve. he shouldn't still be upset <- man who refuses to let himself process and feel his emotions when the emotions dont stop existing just bc he ignores them

that being said that's definitely a Pattern With Me Specifically like in the barbara fic ive been working its built off of canon but i take it SO far just bc i can :sob: and i enjoy it way too much to want to Not do that yknow? girls who struggle to process and Actually Feel their emotions writing characters strugglign to process and Actually Feel their emotions so that she can process and feel them vicariously through them <3 or something along those lines idk at this point its less that and more "wow this is really fun to write and its smth im familiar with so its easier to write as well"

my cat meowed and i stepped away for like 2 seconds to pet her and immediately lost every train of thought ive ever had in my life hopefully i wasnt gonna say anything else LMAO but no yeah self indulgent hcs and ways of interpreting characters >>>>>>>

i keep reading and rereading the way you described xiao's response to grief i am OBSESSED its so easy to imagine its so easy to see like oh my god. ohhhh my god. based as hell it suits him so well

i cannot think of anythign else to say back to the trenches i go <- finding scenes where i started in the middle or left out the endings and filling those parts in now that i dont know what else to write. its been really nice actually ive gotten a lot done just with that LMAO

[combeferres-mothematics]

ANOTHER fic question hehehehe....im so interested in ur Joly sick fic actually....did he manage to diagnose himself!! Did no one believe him until he actually started showing clear symptoms and he was like "I told you so!! 🤮🤮"....and...is he gonna get better? 🥺

LKJAFSKJHLSLFHALKJFHSAGLK OKAY YOU'RE GONNA BE IN FOR A RIDE. I have not only one, but multiple (this remains to be known how many) Joly sickfics XD

Once again below a cut because... I'm scared of how many I'm going to find in my drafts- (Sickfics mayyy be my favorite thing to write)

Even the Darkest Nights will End (I shortened the title significantly here lmao) - The one I talk about the most, and thought was ALMOST done... almost 2k words ago... (Enjolras, Joly, and Grantaire are now bothering Combeferre for stickers, so idek what's happening anymore) The summery is quite old, I think I wrote it 300 words in, and with a 103 degree fever (which is how this whole fic started tbh) XD This has also been one of my pet projects since... uhh... january? so there's a LOT of lore

It starts out with him just sitting in bed trying (keyword trying) to sleep, he's already very clearly ill, He's already home tested himself for several different things, and they all came back negative, so he's very adamantly trying to convince himself that it's just a cold, nothing worse. He's banished Bossuet to a different bed in hopes that he won't get sick (He will. It's inevitable, they share EVERYTHING), and he's feeling very lonely :((

And I've noticed, at least in my experience, that anxiety about these things is SO MUCH worse when it's the middle of the night, and everyone's asleep, and you don't want to wake anyone up to talk you down from thinking it's worse than it really is. This is the really angsty part of the fic if you can't tell already XD

Plus, a little snippet, I don't think I've shared anywhere yet! (do be warned mentions of worrying about throwing up)

Enter Enjolras: He's working late, and when he sees Joly he's very worried he's getting a lecture on healthy sleep habits (I say as if I know what good sleep habits are) And then as soon as he sees that Joly's been crying he instantly launches into "Oh shit my friend is anxious time to fuss over them" mode"

He and Joly proceed to have a very nice conversation that was surprisingly theraputic to write (I may have projected just a tad), and then Enj decides he's going to get Joly a little something small to eat. at 4am. Leading to one of my favorite scenes here XD

And now we have Combeferre!! :D And Joly's feeling a bit more cheerful now that he's not alone, left to stew in his anxiety.

I forgot I wrote this, but now I'm cackling over the mental image of lost duckling Enjy

Combeferre quickly banishes Enjolras because he's hovering, and things get angsty for a minute again (NOT RELATED TO THE BANISHMENT OF ENJ)

And here's Enjolras being autistic about the way Ferre's clothes smell :)

And then everything is good again, and Joly and Enj manage to convince Ferre to give them a sticker (And then Grantaire comes in to be like "If you give me a sticker too, I won't tell any of the others you gave out stickers")

And that's where this one ends off, so far lol. Joly does in fact get better in this one :D

AND THEN WE HAVE THIS ONE :D (don't mind the title or summery, I started it after being awake for 30+ hours)

This one is nowhere near as developed as ETDNWE, but it's a Everyone Lives, No One Dies au set in canon era, about ehhhhhh, maybe 3-5 months after the barricades? I'm still researching when Cholera ended there, and I think I found that there was another, very small jump in cases around Nov. 1832 (where all of them died), but don't quote me on that, I haven't looked at those sources in a while, so I could be misremembering.

Joly ofc is very nervous when the symptoms here start, since.. Cholera. But Bossuet keeps trying to gently assure him it's going to be alright/maybe it's just anxiety

But then things are worse by morning, and Joly scares the absolute Crap out of Bossuet by refusing to tell him what he thinks he has. He KNOWS. what it is though, he's seen it enough times for there to be no mistake whatsoever.

And Bossuet proceeds to leave the house before even getting dressed (Though he does grab his hat on the way out) And heads to go to the house on Rue Plumet to find Enjolras, who ofc will know where Combeferre is, cutting down the search time significantly.

(This is indeed and Enjosette siblings au as well)

And that's about as far as I've plotted for that one. and as for if Joly will be alright... >:3 We will see. *ominous voice*

Ty for the ask!! :D I always love discussing the sickfics XD, and now I'm very workpilled for both of them, so we'll see how that goes-

[00pbz]

omfg

need to limit myself to like . 2 MAYBE 3 friends and none of them can be men. also need to refuse to ever catch even a whiff of feelings for anyone for at least several months if not for forever . my theory is that the difference btwn platonic and romantic love is that you want to use ur lowest love language w that person. for me my lowest is gift giving and guess who bought them a pretty nice and fucking thoughtful present! and may or may not even be getting anything back! i need to stop talking to anyone and just never experience a feeling again

ok adding on bc i cant shut the fuck up. i cant start being interested/encouraging someone to be interested in me just bc before they said they did. thats so stupid. ESP IF THEY HAVE SOME PRETTY NOTABLE RED FLAGS. im being so stupid. i shouldnt even be jealous ever i have no reason to care i need to get a hold of myself. only maybe letting myself feel feelings if im blown out of the water by how great of a person someone is. but even then its a very strong maybe

[12/24 edit/update] im being sooo fucking stupid about this. have a msg drafted to send out like 12/27 or 12/28 so it's not too close to xmas but . i haaaate continuously getting content on fucking tiktok about how compatibility > chemistry like I KNOW..... fucking sucks ass to know i really like someone but i literally cannot speak to them anymore because i Know we wouldnt work out and i cant put myself through the level of turmoil id have to endure being in a fucking situationship doomed to sputter out for who knows however many months. idek if the feelings are even reciprocated anymore but. omfg. literally spent more money that i have on almost anyone getting their gifts (and fucking THOUGHTFUL gifts too) and it's so humiliating. like i got them Multiple Things. ugh. i did get something back but it's their "go to" gift to give friends and i know they spent less than i did (lol) so. not sure what the takeaway is for that. but it doesnt matter bc even if i really fucking like this person (which unfortunately i do) IT WONT WORK OUT. I NEED TO GET THAT THROUGH MY HEAD. FOR BOTH OUR SAKES WE CANNOT FUCKING TALK TO EACH OTHER. TBH WE PROBABLY CANT EVEN BE FRIENDS. okay this unhinged ranting is hopefully done lets all pray that i can send these messages out in a few days and be super normal about it

[nanamomi]

✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧 Welcome to my official get-to-know-me page or should I call “rant page” lol. I don’t usually post stuff about my personal life online but maybe you’ll find something strange abt me here :> Take note, some of my posts may or may be not directed at anyone. I will not reveal who I am pointing towards to as this may lead to misunderstanding AGAIN lmao.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: Here are some random stuff about me :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

˙˚˙ I was born with a skin tag on my ear. “Wtf is that?” It’s an extra skin that kinda looks like a smol pinky. I was so insecure about it before and decided to hide it behind my hair. Back in elementary, it’s required for u to wear a ponytail or headband😭… It was something that bothers me a LOT so I got it removed at 6th grade as a graduation gift. I waited so long for this moment to happen since I finally had the chance to wear a ponytail without worrying too much

˙˚˙ Are you currently writing a book? Yes! I’ll publish my book after I revise the last chapter. Since ur a special follower, u can get a sneak peak with the title :D I’m still making sum few changes abt it but I already have thought of a draft— “I Am An Introvert So Don’t Mess With Me.” This title kinda sounds a little off but I’ll try working on it. Introverts nowadays are determined to be “weak” cause many of us believe that if you’re alone, you have no role in society. In this book of mine, you’ll explore different experiences I had as an introvert my entire senior year. SHOULD I SELL THEM OR GIVE THEM OUT FOR FREE?? Any thoughts 💭

˙˚˙ What makes a person a “friend?” umm.. I have my own opinion about this. To whoever’s reading this, I hope you don’t get offended in any way. SOOO before I answer this question, let me tell you a story ;-; There’s this one girl who I considered as my friend but I felt like she only saw me as a friend of convenience— which means pretending to be someone’s friend in order to use them for your purposes. She messages me whenever she needs to rant about her so called “Ex” which is one of my friends too. As her “friend,” I mean acquaintance rather… I did what is right— told her to cut him off. After months of being her acquaintance, she suddenly treated me like TRASHHHH. I know she was bullied by sum mean girls during highschool but now she became the mean girl towards me lmaooo.. This generation kinda sucks for me since many people are trying their best just to fit in, no offense. I think you can only consider someone a friend if they’re genuine and consistent.

˙˚˙ Are you having a hard time to start a conversation and make friends? Yeah. I’m not used to be so extrovert-ish ;-; Though I may be a good listener, there are times that I just want to be on my own bubble. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it when someone tries to approach me, but it just scares that the person I trust the most becomes my enemy. MY TRUST ISSUES are so high to the point that I might break your heart 😭. I don’t want that to happen tho. There are times that I js get scared and want to be careful w my surroundings. I’m so tired of having problems bro 🥲

˚˙ If you’re an introvert, why are you so active when it comes to acads/reporting? OKAY.. so there’s a huge difference between being shy and being an introvert. Most of us are confused between the terms but for me, an introvert can be vocal if they want to. I have two separate lives: school life and personal life. I am a different person when it comes on both sides. There are various types of introverts and I consider myself as a confident one 🤓. Because of continous reading and binge-watching stories, I’ve adapted many personal skills that made me successful in my overall academics. For example, my love for watching MSA videos allowed me to have a skill of public speaking. Personally, I am not a fan of talking in a crowd full of people but because of the inspiring stories, I am here today :DD BUT TO BE HONEST, I still have that anxiety inside of me whenever I try to speak in front 😭. I js know how to look confident, that’s all :’’3

˙˚˙ I get socially drained most of the time. If you notice me not talking, that means I need to recharge. I don’t like initiating conversations with a smol percentage of social battery. I swearrr!! I love meeting new ppl but I hope they don’t mind if I’m inconsistentz

[jrueships]

still thinking about how my friend who was at the draft was just overwhelmed by ochai’s beauty…

OOO they were there ?!?? TAHTS SO COOL! And YES ochai is SO pretty and hansome! i love him!!!!

im so glad he's on a moots team so i can hear ochai updates !!!! hes so sweet !

[mystic-kitten-writer]

Ok this kinda embarrassing and the first time I’ve requested anything but, yk how you mentioned public bedding in ur zuko x of pinned post. Do you think u could write something abt that? Obviously no pressure and if ur uncomfy just ignore me.

Oh, love, don't be shy! I promise, you're welcomed here and free to drop an ask or request anytime~

And, it's your lucky day, because the public bedding may or may not be canon in Limerence 👀 Hence, here are tiny snippets of my rough drafts if I were to write this. Because it's totally not canon Zuko and Yue get married or something and this happens- totally doesn't happen 🍵

AU: Limerence, Bedding Teasers

Pairing: Zuko x Fem. OC (Ying Yue Jiang)

Masterlist

Shy, straddling Zuko’s lap with an intense blush.

His fingers were gliding over my arms, feeling the fabric that decorated my skin. I was so nervous, trembling, unable to stop fiddling with the band of his pants as my hands rested over the space between us. Our noses were just touching as his warm breath fanned over my skin.

“Love, we don’t have to do this.” Zuko hummed, a charming smile of comfort.

I could feel his warmth through the sheer fabric, my head tilted upwards as I stared at Zuko’s lips.

Today was the most magical day in my life.

The vows, the dancing, dressing up as a princess of my dreams while my dads and everyone else cheered and celebrated. Everyone I cherished, I loved, family and friends were all there for me.

But most importantly, I can finally call Zuko, my husband.

Dreaming of this moment since the day I laid eyes on him, an instant connection I never thought one could experience. I bit my lip, a silence filling the room that for a moment, the fact that there was a crowd behind us was forgotten.

Purposely making my back face them, as I sat over Zuko’s legs, hugging his thighs. My touch was easing its way up to his chest, enjoying the feeling over his skin under me as I caressed the faint scars that littered.

I was tired, exhausted from all the emotions, but seeing Zuko like this. Shirtless, hair loose, my blush deepened.

There wasn’t a doubt in me that I was nervous, but another part was so curious. Memories of every time we had almost been caught while we were having fun; from the quickies in the study, the garden. The thrill, idea, of someone watching us.

“Just what are you thinking about,” Zuko purred, his finger tapping my lips, and I realized how heavy my breathing had begun.

Wetness beginning to grow and stain the front of my panties, embarrassed at how I had just been caught fantasizing. But the smirk on Zuko’s face grew before rolling his hips against mine.

My eyes widened, hitching a breath because he was hard.

The head of cock, rubbing against my core, causing the fabric of my panties to rub against me. I bit down a moan, my head tilting downwards as my eyes fluttered shut at the sudden bolt of pleasure.

“A-ah, Zuko-” I shyly stumbled and Zuko groaned, bucking his hips against me, causing me to tense as my mouth to part.

“I haven't even fucked you yet, and look at them.” Zuko chuckled into my ear as I arched my back against his chest. The arm that looped over my knee stopped me from pressing my legs together, twitching as his finger continued to tease.

I struggled to breathe, head tossed as my hips jerked, seeking his touch as he flirts with my cunt.

His cocky smirk pressed against my neck, loving how my eyes fluttered shut when he rolled my clit. It was a touch that left one to desire, his fingers on either side, sliding back and forth. The slickness that drips between my legs, a puddle of my cum pooling underneath.

"It's so sensitive-" I gasped.

But my movements, the whine that left my lips, it was such a contradiction. My hips are rolling, despite pleading, another knot building.

"Mmm, but look love. They want to see, see how you gush for me."

His words were a demand, and my body obeyed. Forcing my gaze to lift, meeting the eyes in front of us. It was too much, body flushing red, breathing hitched, "They're all staring at you, love."

Zuko's right. Shifting in their spots, faces twisted in a mixture of arousal and shame. Unable to look away, but they continued to stare, to gawk. Hypnotized by how I twitch and arch, humping Zuko’s hand out of desperation to feel more.

A few of them letting their palms rest in front of them with flushed cheeks, their knees buckling. They were- I gasped as Zuko let his fingers spread my folds, his middle finger happily rubbing that pleasurable button.

The robe that barely stayed on my shoulders finally began to tumble, bunching at my elbows as I tried to muffle my cries. It felt good, so overwhelming and Zuko groaned into my ear.

I was unintentionally rubbing against his bulge nestled perfectly behind my ass.

"Fuck, at this rate, they're not gonna make it for the best part," Zuko snickered as he stared at the audience that daringly got closer. Bucking into the fabric of their clothes, just how Zuko rutted me from behind. Groaning as I pushed myself further into his embrace, wanting to feel the heat from his body, how his cock twitched.

No longer bothering to hide their stares, they saw my toes curl, my hands falling over Zuko's thighs as my pitch grew. My nails dug into the fabric of his silk robes as I struggled to contain my moans. A wave of embarrassment at the eyes that watched, but it was intoxicating.

So dirty, yet I couldn’t stop making a mess-

"They're so fucking thirsty, love. They look like you, drooling. Wishing to know how you taste. Should I let them?"

I shook my head, gasping as his rubbing never stopped but rather got more intense. My hips were jerking into his hand, "N-no."

"Mmm, and why not, love?"

"Cause I only want you," I whined, and Zuko chuckled into my ear, placing possessive kisses over my neck. Humming in utter bliss, his kisses turning into bites. The sting after his teeth left marks over my skin, arching further as his touch began to speed up.

My arms reached before me, hands gripping whatever I could.

Skin dewy, sweat beading down my forehead as another moan left my lips. Zuko's hands along my hips were deathly tight, forcing my hips upwards while he grunted.

One sharp thrust, his balls slapping against my cunt, that sent a wave of pleasure up my spine. All I could do was gasp his name out because it felt so damn good.

With every roll, it felt like Zuko went deeper, my walls squeezing him painfully because every drag of his cock was causing me to shudder. A new orgasm was building before I could even process the last.

The sounds of our breathing grew, and the intensity only increased as my eyes darted upwards, another wave of guilty pleasure washing over me because everyone was watching so intensely.

The looks of pained struggle on the guards’ faces, giving up entirely of not trying to watch. Their mouths hanging, eyes glued at how I gasped and cried out. My hair was a chaotic mess as Zuko tugged, beckoning me closer, loving how my back arched into him.

“Fuck, you love this, don’t you, love?” Zuko hissed as he felt me clench around him.

I whined, wanting to hide my face in shame because it was so painfully true. Everyone heard my times with Zuko, my screams, my begs. But for them to see, witness first-hand what they were always curious about.

Tears bubbled because I could feel myself tensing around Zuko’s cock, my breath caught in my throat.

“Again?” Zuko teased before his hand began to snake down my hips over my stomach. My eyes widened, already knowing what his plan was, and I shook my head desperately.

“D-don’t, Zuko. I-I’ll-”

Skimming down my stomach, already finding what he was seeking. The pads of his fingers happily parting my folds to let his fingers rest on my clit. His thrusts were growing, using my body to pump himself, hitting that spongey part inside of me that had me seeing stars.

My vision was getting spotty, trying to speak words, but I was merely blubbering nonsense. Zuko was cooing into my ear, encouraging, excited to see me break- “Cum for me.”

I could feel myself gush around him like a dam breaking, his thrusts never stopping, his fingers continued to rub furiously. It was a loud scream as I could feel my juices drip down my legs, painting his with my cum, and Zuko could only groan from behind as I squeezed him.

“Fuck, baby-”

“I-I can’t stop.” I cried, my body convulsing, another wave hitting me, “Maybe this will be a nighty thing, fucking you in front of a crowd. Having you cockwarm while we’re in meetings.”

And my cheeks continued to burn because the thought didn’t seem frightening but a blessing at this point.

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Disclaimer: I do not own any Avatar characters besides any original characters I have created.

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