#what can i say i'm just a girl + i have eldest daughter syndrome

[itsjaywalkers]

OKAY SO i watched 3 eps of the bear so far and i'm LOVING it, i literally can feel my brain chemistry being altered as i watch

anyways i will be liveblogging the whole thing just for ino <3 for now i will say that carmy is a wet rag of a man and i Need him, every time richie opens his mouth my mind goes straight to tarte tatin barty, and sydney is my fav and i'm in love with her

(also this show has already punched me in the gut too many times in only 3 eps, i just know it's gonna destroy me emotionally, also i can't stop thinking about michael's letter to carmy I NEED HIM TO FIND IT ALREADY I'M TOO NOSY FOR THIS SHIT)

[celaenaeiln]

opinion on songs from Moana being used for dick? (Eg. How far I’ll go, Where you are and I am Moana)

Let's do this!

How Far I'll Go

How Far I'll Go is my guilty pleasure!

Listen, I'm so happy that Dick adores the stuffings out of family and friends and loves them with all his heart but please, I just need one self-indulgent piece of writing where he just abandons everything, takes a break, and goes on a long self-discovery journey via a roadtrip or something. Sometimes I feel like he's too busy being a part of everyone else's self-discovery journey that he doesn't get to enjoy what he wants to do. How Far I'll Go is a cumulation of Dick being the leader and taking on the leadership role while sacrificing his own needs. The lyrics express a longing for exploration and pushing boundaries, which also aligns with Dick's journey from Robin to Nightwing.

Furthermore, Dick Grayson's robin is characterized by a sense of adventure and exploration-

Detective Comics (2016) Issue #1000

literally.

And this need for adventure is what Moana and this song is all about. It's a craving, a desperate urge to go beyond the known and explore. Dick's known for his willingness to explore new territories, both physically and emotionally, often venturing into the unknown to protect his city and his loved ones.

The song is also about his desire for independence because like Moana, Dick Grayson grapples with his desire for independence while also feeling a sense of duty to his family and community.

It's actually a cycle. In the song it goes-

Every turn I take, every trail I track Every path I make, every road leads back

-and this is just a reflection of Dick's internal conflict between his personal aspirations of happiness and living his life vs his responsibilities as a hero and his duties as a leader of his community and the pillar of his family.

Where You Are

Where You Are is literally what I think Bruce wishes he could do to Dick lol. Except he's acting as the village and the father, not the grandma.

Don't walk away Moana, stay on the ground now Our people will need a chief, and there you are

These lyrics in particular -

🤌

*takes a deep breath in*

Now why does this sound familiar? :/

oh right, Bruce tells Dick that he needs a Batman whenever he's gone and he also tells Dick that his place as Robin is by Batman's side. This is also practically word-for-word what Cass says to Dick about his responsibilities of Batman.

Mainly this song is about sacrificing personal ambitions and desires to fulfill your duties.

That's right, we stay We're safe, and we're well provided And when we look to the future, there you are You'll be okay In time you'll learn just as I did You must find happiness right where you are

I don't think this song really needs any more explanation about how it's related to Dick because Dick's life practically embodies this song. It's sacrifice upon sacrifice he's done in order do his duties as Dick Grayson and Nightwing. This is his Eldest Daughter Syndrome song.

(Also just realized that without the background music this song is creepy af. Imagine the batfam singing the lines to him in a dark room where he hallucinates them. It's like a gothic horror story.)

I am Moana

Ooof. "I am Moana" is Dick Grayson's contant identity crisis song. In like every comic he's like "I was robin, I was nightwing, I was amnesic, I was Agent 37, I was Batman. But now I know that I am Dick Grayson."

Look at the lyrics-

I know a girl from an island She stands apart from the crowd She loves the sea and her people She makes her whole family proud Sometimes the world seems against you The journey may leave a scar But scars can heal and reveal just Where you are

The people you love will change you The things you have learned will guide you And nothing on earth can silence The quiet voice still inside you And when that voice starts to whisper "Moana, you've come so far" Moana listen, do you know who you are?

Who am I? I am a girl who loves my island And the girl who loves the sea, it calls me I am the daughter of the village chief We are descended from voyagers Who found their way across the world They call me

I've delivered us to where we are I have journeyed farther I am everything I've learned and more Still it calls me

And the call isn't out there at all It's inside me It's like the tide Always falling and rising I will carry you here in my heart You'll remind me That come what may I know the way

I am Moana!

Just replace girl with boy, add correct context, change Moana to Dick Grayson and boom! There you have him. "I am Moana" is Dick's Agent 37 arc.

Grayson Issue #1

"Dick, you've come so far" Dick listen, do you know who you are?

Grayson Issue #20

[pro-logue-epi-logue]

RANDOM DEVIL'S NIGHT THOUGHTS

~NUMBER 60~

Many of the anons i have received asked what are my thoughts on Willemmy not ending up together. And if that happens how do i think that will happen.

•• MY THOUGHTS ••

As for me WILLEMMY will always end up together. They are Endgame. The way Will was never able to move on from her, how in all those years apart Emmy never let herself be happy. That night of the homecoming was IT for them both. They both are actually happy and their true self when they are with each other only. They both love to piss each other off. And they are the only person in their life who lift each other and make then be better. As Will said himself Emmy is the only one who made him feel more and when she was in his arms he felt he can take on the world. And as Emmy said she was only happy when she was with Will. They are movie partners. They are it for each other. How in the moment of danger their first instinct is to see the other one to k ow if they are safe or not. Yes there were problems but it was because others were not good to them and they got caught in that. But Willemmy are always Endgame. ALWAYS.

@uneednotknow 'S THOUGHTS

Tbh even thinking about them not ending up together hurts, and they are fictional 💀. Anyways, I'm not saying this because they are my favourite couple amongst all of the DN series but really even if they weren't my favourite it would hurt. They only have each other. Sure, Damon is there for Will, Damon will die for Will just to see him smile, no doubt but Damon didn't see past Will's enthusiasm, didn't past Will being his 'sunshine'.And Emmy, my gosh, this girl really had no one at the end of the day. She was her own pillar, her own shelter. She, to me, represents the eldest daughter in the family. She took care of everyone and everything and at the end of the day, she had no one but herself, for so long. Sure, Will was there for her even when she didn't know but, currently I'm talking about the loneliness she must have felt. To this day in my mind, Banks and Em are best friends.I wonder why PD never saw the need to write about those two, even if it were just a paragraph, but oh well. Anyways what I want to say is, only Will and Emory saw past each other, they were there for each other. Especially, Will, my heart hurts to think that he had to pretend to be what he was not- the party animal, the druggie, the alcoholic. I hate to say this, but Horsemen are to be blamed partly for his spiraling.And Alex was supposed to be his supportive girl bestfirend, but she was an enabler. I'll die on this hill. And to think that WillEmmy are not the endgame? No, that's just incomplete. PD stored the angstiest, the most bitter-sweet, the almost most realistic couple for the end but really the ( fan demands ) ruined the entire plot. The two of them had no one but themselves and each other for the longest time.I just know Will would have died very soon- if not for alcohol and drugs, then because of his broken heart syndrome. He stayed alive so long, because like he said he always reached out for Emory, in his mind. So in a way, that satiated the loneliness, the pain and the heartache. PD could write the happiest story for Will and any other girl, but at the end of the book, at the end of the epilogue Will would have died because he couldn't deal with all the pressure anymore.He had inferiority complex, thinks he isnt good enough, that no one would choose him. But Emory did, she always believed in him. So did he. Emmy is a strong and independent woman but if she and Will didn't end up together, she would simply die alone or marry someone like a marriage of convenience.

°° But, What if they don't? °°

Now lets see how and what will happen if they actually don't end up together. How will things progress? What will the end moment when they realize to move apart forever? What is the last nail? Did other characters have a hand in this aswell?

Some people want Emmy to leave Will and some want Will to leave Emmy.

So let's discuss how they will move apart. And write it.

I am not a writer so i don't have many plotlines for it but some, so if anyone have any thoughts (any and whatever) share it here and we will write that or try to write that. Really any thoughts are appreciated. Feel free to share them whenever you want there is no date restrictions.

[apersonwholikeslotus]

Can I hear more about your OC's? Doesn't matter who, it can be any

YES YES YOU CAN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

okokokokok so this is going to be SO disorginized but i'm gonna talk about my hre oc bc the only canon character i truly hate is hre i want to punt the child

her human name is Adelheid Dietrich but she regularly just goes by Heidi. Her first name means Nobility, and her last name means Ruler of the people; very fitting name for how much power she held in Europe for so long.

Her parents are Gaul and Germania, she very notably was never very close with her mother, and very close with her father until the the last few years of his life. (The Saxon wars, and Heimeric's own refusal to convert contributed to the deterioration in their relationship but that deserves it's own post) I don't have her exact year of birth pinned down yet, but sibling wise she is between Austria and Switzerland. Roderich being a few years older, and Aldrich being a few years younger. Heidi is only 1 of 2 girls in the family and was fiercely protective of Belgium, even as adults, if anything happened to Bel she would regularly blame herself for 'letting' it happen. She had decently rocky relationships with most of her siblings, but would get in screaming matches with Denmark over the most insignificant things. Reasonably bitter because she did end up substitute mom for about half her younger siblings, specifically Netherlands, Belgium & England. And she should not have had to do that. Eldest Daughter Syndrome(TM) personified. Would get into an argument with Dan, Nor, and Swe not long after their father died that would consist of "Everything i've done to keep our family together and this is how you thank me? 'No'? Just because you don't want to? Do you know all i've given up? I didn't get a childhood. But it's fine. Do what you want." v much a The things she said weren't right, but the emotions she was having were definitely there.

She was terrified of death. Just from the moment she gained consciousness she couldn't think of anything worse then running out of time. And tbh that's probably what drew her to Christianity, and kept her there, the idea that death wouldn't be the end, and it would be a happy after. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but have eternal life" She's sold before the missionary can say anything else. That didn't stop her from being independent to a fault, which is where Lutheranism came into play; she was tired of being under Vatican's thumb (for lack of better term) so the moment the Reformation came around she was on board with that too. But all of that isn't to say she didn't have a complicated relationship with religion especially after a relationship--that i'll get to in a minute--constantly held it over her head as the whole reasoning for why she shouldn't do certain things; and it always worked because nothing scared her more than the idea that doing something would send her to Hell.

Anyway on romantic relationships; she was super queer. Would probably identify as bisexual in the year of our Lord 2023. She only ever had 2 notably relationships with other personifications; the first was with Czechia. It was very secretive, they were young, and dumb, and swore they would love no one but each other. (I actually wrote a little thing about them here). It somewhat obviously did not work out, because Heidi was scared of someone finding out about them, and after almost a century of being together she thought someone was getting to close to figuring it out; Adéla tried to insist it would be fine. Heidi panicked came up with a plan, and got Adéla to agree to it without telling her what it was. Within a couple months not a single person thought Adéla and Heidi were together... no they were too busy talking about how Clemens (Vatican) had supposedly broken his chastity vow and 'you'll never believe who for.' That was the end of her relationship with Czechia; it wasn't supposed to be. But it was.

Her second one was also a 'secret' but everyone knew about it. (so side note on my Vatican oc; remember he was born to represent West Rome and his land claim diminished as his children came along. Until eventually he picked up the title of the papal states then Vatican/Holy See). They met long before their 'romantic' relationship started, when Germania brought his at the time only daughter along to Rome and Vatican decided he just had to have her, and the sons of Rome usually get what they want. When they were very young they had a psuedo-relationship that really just happened because it was the first time they thought someone was cute and the other person thought the same. When she slept with him to cover her and Adéla's tracks, it was calculated. She had to have proof, and she had to have one or two people who she knew would talk have an inkling that it happened so rumors would start. What she didn't count on was him still having some of those feelings from hundreds of years earlier, she assumed he'd moved on completely. His children had to have come from somewhere. But now that Czechia didn't want anything to do with her she thought 'fuck it' and went along with a relationship that she didn't really want, but by now wasn't going to refuse either. And they would just stay that way, off and on, usually just sleeping with each other not much actual substance, but not so little that either would leave. They were just Stuck.

Jumping forward a bit to her death, she and Germany had a little less than a month overlap. He was born July 12th, 1806; and she died August 6th, 1806. She was already very sick when he was born, but asked to see him every day without fail. Austria told her eventually that he was sending Germany to live with Prussia, deemed he would be safer anywhere but Vienna. She argued with him over that, for a long time; insisted she wouldn't trust Brandenburg or Prussia to rear a child if they were some of the last people on earth. Austria got fed up, told her Germany was his son and he would do whatever he wanted with him. She argued back Germany was her heir, and she believed her heir should be raised in Vienna, not Königsburg, not Berlin, not Potsdam, Vienna. The argument stood until her death two weeks later, Austria to this day wishes he hadn't told her.

Everyone in the house knew about Heidi's fear, there wasn't a single person in Europe that didn't know about it. They all waited for something to register, for it to kick in that she more than likely wouldn't be making it another month, much less another year. But it never did, August 1st she got better, and for a solid two days she was even out of bed; it was during this Austria and Prussia caught her giving Germany a little speech.

"Now, you'll be taking over my job. I'm not promising it's an easy one because it isn't. The ones under you are insane, every last one, constantly fighting and they're changing all the time; every time you turn around someone new will have shown up, or someone else will have disappeared. I hope not too many disappear on you, but eventually you get used to it, and not in a sad way, in a "maybe they're off living their own life without the responsibility of thousands of peoples lives now". Unfortunately the annoying ones stick around the longest, your father is one, your uncle Gilbert is another. Saxony, Bavaria, Hesse, Brandenburg etc.. you'll have to get used to them, I don't think they're going anywhere. I know your parents are worried for you right now, but I'm sure it's completely unfounded and they're just dramatic. You'll be just fine... I wish I could stay to watch you grow up, i'm sure you'll be in charge of this whole continent eventually. You have to promise you'll make your family talk about me, don't let them be too sad about it, I want to be known as the interesting aunt not the one who died when you were a baby. Can you promise me that Ludwig?"

after those two days she got bad again though, worse than she was initially, and three days later she passed away. The moment they were waiting for never came, she didn't seem scared about the end; she put in her will someone has to make sure whoever killed her knew that she wasn't scared.

[thelordofgifs]

⭐️ any tfs section you wanna talk about?

(director's cut ask game)

Always! Currently thinking about some of the Maedhros angst (so, like, half the fic). Of course Maedhros spent all of part 19 having an extended breakdown, but it's actually the start of part 20 that I'm particularly pleased with. By this stage he's calmed down a bit and is just really really Sad.

Left alone, he paces a contemplative circle around his study and tries to think.

Maglor's hand cold against his cheek—

Not that.

Girl discovers a minor gesture of affection can be used as a recurring angsty motif and proceeds to beat it to death, more at 10.

Maedhros is not a very good son. He thinks he was, once, at least while his father lived; but then he knelt before Fëanor's hated half-brother and offered him the crown that was Maedhros' birthright, knowing as he did so that his father could never forgive this. Sometimes he almost revels in it. With every sibilant sá-sí that passes his lips he thinks, I am not like you. I will not be like you.

Although he cannot say it aloud, he is not a very good lover. Fingon is a miracle and a blessing and Maedhros loves him with everything he is, but he knows that is not enough. He is not now the fair and charming prince Fingon fell in love with in Tirion across the Sea; and for all Fingon has changed since then too, he deserves better than the war-hardened and distant shell that is all Maedhros can offer.

But he always thought – he always thought he was, if nothing else, beyond reproach as an elder brother.

hmm so obviously Maedhros has the worst case of Eldest Daughter Syndrome ever seen in fiction (he should have won that POLL I'm still not over that) and one of the ways this manifests is... a pretty weird self-image. For a long time I've seen him as very much defining himself by who he is to others, by his relationship with Fingon and his relationship with Maglor (and with his other brothers - but Maglor is his favourite and kind of stands in as a proxy sometimes. To quote from the Gold Rush AU, which is so pivotal in my understanding of Maedhros: "We all must lay a first stone. Maglor is my first brother." just spent twenty minutes looking for that line and devastated myself in the process anyway).

Tangent over! this way of defining himself by what he is to others, and to the two people he loves most specifically, is part of why Maedhros falls apart so dramatically when Curufin tells him they are dead. But thinking about it some more, I realised that wasn't an entirely complete picture. Maedhros is also, very importantly, Feanor's eldest son. I don't touch much on his relationship with his father in tfs, because Feanor has been dead for centuries, but that bullet point about how Maedhros views him and his legacy was important here. Maedhros knows he has betrayed a lot of what his father stood for; and for the most part, he doesn't care, but at the same time it's hard to conceptualise himself as a dutiful eldest son now.

It was only ever a delusion. Amrod and Celegorm both died because Maedhros failed to protect them, after all.

But this is different. He has killed Maglor himself – no need for metaphor. He held his little brother with one arm and drove a blade into his side with the other.

Who is he, if not that? What is left of him if Maglor is gone – if he cannot be Maglor’s protector anymore, because Maglor is dead – because Maedhros killed him?

I spent a lot of time agonising over that last sentence. It means more than simply "I'm not a brother any more if my brother is dead" - it's something far more destructive than that. Maedhros' self-image is now completely in shatters because of what he's done. Being a good older brother was his one thing and now, in his mind, he has completely failed at that and hence doesn't have a thing any more and hence doesn't know who he is any more. Because if he can't define himself as Feanor's son or as Fingon's lover or as Maglor's brother then what is left of him?

A slave, suggests the voice of Sauron that ever lurks at the back of his mind, a pretty toy to adorn the halls of Morgoth, nothing of any importance.

...well. There's a fourth axis to Maedhros' self-image. And he does, I think, struggle a lot with the objectification and dehumanisation of Angband; and this is something that really disturbs him now, since he's tried to logic Fingon into agreeing with him that Maedhros is technically a thrall. This is a thread I didn't really pick back up on in part 20, but I might end up doing so more later.

Maedhros shakes himself. It was listening to Sauron’s lies that got him into this mess, after all—

But that is not true. Sauron is not here, and it was Maedhros’ own unstable mind that betrayed him.

That is not quite right either. There was no division within him, no evil spirit that took control of his faculties: it was him. He killed Maglor himself.

How can he ever begin to come to terms with that?

some good old-fashioned self-loathing to wrap up this angst session. Maedhros distances himself immediately from any attempt to justify the stabbing. Is he being unfair to himself? Yes, of course. He wasn't in his right mind when he stabbed Maglor. But as far as he's concerned that isn't the point. The point is that he's dangerous, and he has incontrovertible proof now that he can't trust himself or his own judgement.

This is not stuff that really gets resolved in part 20, which was mostly deliberate. Maedhros has a lot to reckon with! And the blows he has taken from this whole incident are going to affect him for a long, long time.

[15-lizards]

hi :)

i'm so sorry, i'm new to tumblr so i haven't gotten the whole asks thing down yet. could you do 1, 3, 6, 8, 9, and 10 for the reed gang and also stannis baratheon? thank you!!! :)

Omg of course my love!!

1. What would their social media page/activity be like?

-I think Meera has a twitter and spam instagram where she complains ab her problems and wonders if she’s a lesbian in the captions of cute animal memes (im projecting) and Jojen solely uses his instagram to identify bugs and plants and sometimes rocks. Stannis has like a very professional Facebook page for his business/election campaign or whatever and he has like five followers and sometimes Robert comments under his posts while he’s drunk

3. My thoughts on their design/aesthetic alone

-god I have so many thoughts. Meera is just such a kind looking girl (and Ellie Kendrick made me gay) who dresses like a bog person and throws nets and spears 10/10 no notes I love you swamp wife. Jojen is similar but he’s a sickly swamp boy which makes me sad but it’s an interesting character design I care him. Stannis is soooo fucking good like having his brothers height and strength but none of their charisma and also he’s balding is actually hilarious. Absolute unit of a depressed man

6. Psychological headcanons (tastes, fears, talents, regrets, how they deal with anger, just anything that comes to mind on the topic)

-Jojen Reed Autism Swag thank you for listening. Like I said that child can identify the hell out of some rocks and bugs. Meera eldest daughter syndrome!!! She’s so scared of losing Bran now that she knows she’s gonna lose Jojen she wants to protect everyone and make sure no one’s sacrifice goes to waste it’s such a burden to carry :( plus she has to protect everyone to my babygirl is getting grey hairs. Stannis also eldest daughter syndrome! He is repressed he is dutiful he is angry he only ever did what was expected of him and got jack shit in return but he keeps on trudging on cause that’s what he has to do I want to bite something

8. Made-up connections with other characters that weren’t in the canon (friends, enemies, whatever)

-Meera and Dany are girlfriends and love each other this is canon to me actually. Meera and Robb would be friends I think and Sansa too :,) Jojen is such a little old man nerd I think he’d like hanging around Davos bc he respects little old man nerds (like Shireen, they would be friends too). And Stannis has never had a real friend in his life besides Maester Cressen and Davos but I think he has a grudging respect for Kevan Lannister. Dutiful second sons the both of them. Davos tries to get them to become actual friends bc he’s tired of being the only homoerotic codependent relationship Stannis has

9. Headcanons about their past

-I think Meera, not Jojen, has been raised to take over House Reed. She’s a natural leader and I’m sure Howland knows his son is gonna he paste anyway. Jojen probably used to want to become a Maester and study the higher mysteries before he got his death dreams :( Stannis was probably considered being sent to the citadel too, but I think Steffon decided he needed to stay by Roberts side to be his voice of reason which obviously turned out really well

10. Content about them I’d like to see more of

-I need more Meera fanart pretty please I miss ny baby girl. I also want fics of either her and Dany or her and Jojen and the starklings getting into shenanigans. I would love to see more Jojen dream analyses too, and posts connecting him to Cassandra and other literary references I live for that shit. I am honestly stuffed to the brim for Stannis content bc my entire tl is just Baratheon blogging but I will never say no to more fanart of him, sad old man stavos fics, or analyses on his character!!!

[yandereorg]

Also before I forget bc I'm heading to bed in a few: Nonchalant bimbo!darling being really maternal bc their a big sister or have eldest daughter syndrome 🫡 so the need to spoil her yandere is instinct , she can't help it that yandere is so BBY girl to her. I can see Roy eating this up bc now him, Lian & darling can be a family fr 😎 I can imagine Roy introducing Lian & darling to each other & darling going into mom/big sis mode 🥺 Roy's just like 'I 💖 milfs 🙂' LMAO everytime he sees his two favorite girls getting along he's just like ' just u wait darling I'ma turn u into milf fr soon 😏' I can see darling talking to Roy offhandedly about how she always wanted to have a family of her own - Roy is just eating that up so he subtly uses Lian as a wing woman lol Lian just starts calling darling mom n stuff & darling is just like 🧍‍♀️'i am overwhelmed with positive emotions but unfortunately I am not ur mom- ROY WHAT DO I DO SHES CALLING ME MOMMY' 'Aww that's so cute, your gonna say no to my babys face like that? Besides, I can always make u a mommy if you want 😏' ktstkslhdy 👁️👁️ losing my mind rn ALSO 👀 bimbo darling casually tracing her yanderes scars & calling them sexy 😏 I can see Jason/Roy/Damian eating this up especially if their like dangerously close to more intimate areas 😩😼

!!!!!!!! okay but imagine darling is like patching up jay bc their friends and this is something friends do and everything is fine and jay's shirtless, and darling spots a scar near his happy trail and starts to trace over it and jay's had enough because you're always teasing him so he starts doing it back and being like omg friends!!!!!!!

no because Roy's using lian to get you close and keep you there and you know Roy has a breeding kink and every time they go at it he's like ??? you wanna become a milf???

[laststandx3]

what are ur best terror ships??? /wllipt

so as you might have guessed I have a soft spot for hickey. so hickey/gibson and hickey/tozer are my faves.

Adding on this i can add the unappreciated and overlooked but with actually a lot of potential ship: gibson/tozer, hear me out: they're in a situationship with the same weird little guy but they're polar opposite (introvert vs extrovert, judgy vs friendly, self-reliant vs loyal, it's-not-personal-but-it's-finished vs get-me-off-these-chains-cornelius!, we'll-be-flogged vs walking to the gallows together aka not wanting trouble vs risking everything) and yet those two clever, practical, peaceful, skilled men fall for the same guy.

I think exactly for those contradictions they can have such an interesting dynamic.

If Billy had more scenes people would appreciate him more. Tozer gets flashed out a lot more, has different interactions and we get to see his character arc. Billy's arc tho happens mostly off-screen. even his talk with irving is off-screen. we don't see how billy reacts AFTER the flogging (it's implied he and hickey didn't interact much and that hickey spent more time with the marines) but then again we see so little from billy's pov one really needs to pay attention to him to notice the shades of his personality.

anyway. i got lost, back to the question: gibson/hickey/tozer is my ot3, because on one side

-> tozer adds a sense of stability to hickey/gibson that they alone don't have.

on the other side

<- gibson is the reality check to hickey/tozer. dont get me wrong but hickey/tozer is also (much slower than hickey/gibson) on a self-destruction path. you know tozer can't say no to hickey until it's too late. So billy would be the canary to the coalmine that can be hickey's lastest scheme.

basically I'm a hickey shipper, with the right setup i'm all for hickey/manson, hickey/irving, and even hickey/hartnell. hickey/goodsir too! i forgot about them

i see why people might enjoy hickey/crozier but i'm not part of the 'fuck that old man' club so i don't actively look up for those.

I can also see the appeal for hickey/jopson, but to me jopson isn't flashed out enough to be interesting. he's just very needy for crozier approval. to me he doesn't carry anything on his own, he's got eldest daughter syndrome and he's the guy from tweeter who says i don't have an opinion on my own, if a beautiful girl tells me to change my mind I will. but for crozier. sorry for the jopson enjoyers. nothing personal, that character doesn't resound with me. i don't have daddy issues.

other ships i enjoy are: tozer/armitage, manson/hartnell, heather/being alive, anyone/hodgson bc hodge is a case study, it's interesting for interpretation. honorable mention goodsir/silna

honorable non-mention bridgens/peglar, bc they're already happy in canon or into a realtionship of some kind so i don't feel the need to explore that more.

and this is it.

hope you found this answer interesting and...not to long and have a good day <3

[cloudraker]

Can I get a matchup for tfp? Preferably with a male character please, either bot or con is fine!

I'm a short and chonky girl with short fluffy dark hair, and my style flip flops between grungy/punk/goth to kawaii and pastel, or just any combination of those two. If I had more money, I'd collect earrings by the bucketfull to suit either style.

Hobbies: Art (painting and drawing), baking, gaming, writing (fiction and poetry, plushie collecting, reading

Favorite places: Theme parks, mountains/forests, the OCEAN (all caps bc I love it most), toy and/or accessory shops

Likes: Superhero and action films/cartoons/comics/etc, studying animals and nature (my career path), my sweet little puppy Charlie whom I'd destroy god with my bare hands for

Dislikes: BULLIES. Hate them. Hate them so much, with a passion, 29/10 would wipe the concept of bullying from existence. Also spaces that are both tight and crowded, "busting your chops" and sarcasm and teasing (i hardly ever understand when/how it's friendly).

Upon first impressions, I've been told I seem standoffish and unwelcoming despite not feeling it. As in, I may have resting bitchface even though I'm relatively happy to talk. I'm a little awkward and prefer to be approached first, otherwise I might never say anything, and when I do talk I love, LOVE to ramble on about something I know or have recently learned a lot about. I also love to play, and by that I mean in general. Games, whether physical or just video games, are awesome and I really like them. I get competitive but I make sure I stay polite and light hearted. I'm a very sincere and literal person too, so I don't always do well with people who are sarcastic or snarky. I mean, I know the difference between a snarky person and a jerk, but still.

As either a friend or lover, I'm SUPER loyal and sincere. It's very hard for me to lie or keep secrets unless it's a little personal thing that I'm embarrassed about. And I will always, ALWAYS be willing to serve and help and I'll be upset if someone I love has a problem and there's nothing I can do. I will do anything from physical/mental tasks to emotional support. I'm at least 99.999% sure part of that is because I have a combination of "eldest daughter syndrome" and "gifted child syndrome". But I still like to think that because helping and being kind makes me feel good, that I may actually be kind.

I also consider myself a mom friend in terms of how I like to take care of people and readily accept any responsibility. And as a former gifted kid I hold myself to high standards and, may or may not overwork myself from time to time.

Hey, thank you so much for requesting! So sorry for the wait <3

I match you with...

Breakdown!!

Under the cut :)

He is here for the style changes, absolutely hypes you up whenever he can. He’s picked up a decent amount about aesthetics thanks to Knock Out, so he might even be able to lend a hand!

Breakdown doesn’t have a huge appreciation for the finer arts, but he’s more than happy to listen to you talk about what it is you’re working on at the time. He finds it amazing that you can create something like that, and might even try his hand at it himself with some prompting

He’s a big guy, so going to places like amusement parks is a bit hard for him, even if you overlooked the alien robot part. So walks together in secluded areas are perfect! Earth is so much different from Cybertron, and even though Breakdown isn’t exactly one to stop and smell the roses, he can appreciate how organic life has grown on this planet 

He’s not a huge fan of the beach though, sand gets everywhere and it’s so hard to get out of his seams! Much more willing to join you if it’s at a rocky beach

Doesn’t think much of your standoffishness. He’s a former wrecker, and some of the best bots he’s ever met had the grouchiest faces, so he’s not going to judge you for the way you look. He probably approaches you first, striking up conversation the best he can 

Breakdown agrees with you on the bullies part; he’s seen firsthand how horrible others can be treated and doesn’t care for it one bit. The teasing part though he’s a bit iffy on, believing that a bit of lighthearted teasing between friends and partners is healthy, but won’t engage in it with you if you’re not comfortable with it

Games? He loves games! Will absolutely try to get you to play lob with him, forgetting how easily you could get squished. Settles for something more human-friendly, as long as it’s still something physical. He doesn’t have the patience for something like a board game 

Appreciates your loyalty more than he cares to admit. As a Decepticon, loyalty seems to be hard to come by, and factor in the fact that you’re human, and he’s got quite a few insecurities about the relationship. But knowing you’re there for him and are willing to help him when he needs it does a lot to reassure him. He tries to do the same in return, but he’s honestly not the best with emotions. He’s trying though

He’s used to Knock Out working a lot, so he’s able to easily pull you away from your own work when he thinks you’re overworking yourself, making sure you actually eat something 

Despite his size he’s very careful with you! He enjoys carrying you around when he can so you can keep up and stop yourself from being underfoot

It’s a stable and mostly calm relationship, the two of you trust each other completely and he would do almost anything if it was to keep you safe

[boatemlag]

irt the last reblog, i just wanna elaborate because it's been on my mind in general lately. this is not a short read, but there is a tl;dr towards the bottom (bolded)

in regards to the concept of putting a name to specific types of trauma as "syndromes"; i don't necessarily believe that these should be treated as legitimate and coherent terms, as opposed to an observation of how a specific group of experiences can contribute to later issues in life, such as mental illness, trauma, behavioral problems*, etc. for a few reasons, but especially because they are not the same, they don't act in the same way, and treating it as a coherent experience may be, in an unhelpful way, reductive.

i reiterate that i mainly think of these as an observation of the way certain factors may contribute to certain trauma.

in regards to "eldest daughter syndrome"; of the two terms i'm discussing, i find this to be a more impactful observation in the ways misogyny, regardless of actual gender, can affect who in the family becomes parentified. this is not consistent, of course, across the board, and it may not describe what actual trauma was suffered. but the parentification of the first born assigned girl in a family is likely to suffer the brunt of parentification. this is not an unstudied phenomena. which is not to say that other children in the family may not also suffer parentification, or the majority of that parentification. there is academic interest in the concept that birth order and perceived gender may effect not only the rates of parentification but also how it manifests.**

this is not to say that anecdotal evidence is not significant, because, as i stated, psychologists, research or clinical, are not the arbiters of what experience is real or significant. but nonetheless, it is a useful observation of all the intersections of identity at play in abuse.

i'm not here to outline what this means, but as a side note, i find that eldest daughter syndrome is not a useful term when it comes to finding coherent terms to describe abuse, in the same way that i don't find narcissistic abuse a useful term. there are terms (parentification, gaslighting, verbal/physical/emotional abuse, manipulation) or actual descriptions of the events, failing else, that may be more helpful in recovery effort. but just because it's not useful in that regard, doesn't mean it can't be a good gateway to the A word (abuse) or T word (trauma) that may be hard for victims to use at first, especially when still in a situation where that abuse is being continually perpetuated.

in regards to "gifted kids"/"gifted kid burnout"/"gifted kid syndrome"/ad nauseam; i have a lot of conflicting feelings about this one. in the same ways that i find eldest daughter syndrome useful on a basic level, i find this to be as well, if less so. a lot of arguments against these terms argue that they are not unique experiences, but that they are a descriptor of institutional abuse that everyone experiences. and to some extent, i agree. the way that this affects former "gifted" kids is not unique. but neither is the previous term.

the kneejerk reaction that comes from these terms are not wrong. there is a certain amount of class and racial privilege involved in the classification of a "gifted" or "twice exceptional" (2E)*** children. there is a certain amount of severe ableism that goes into the classification of gifted or 2E (g/2E) children, as well. this does not mean that those classified as g/2E cannot be disabled, or even that they are not high support needs, but that their support needs will be ignored in a variety of ways.

i'm not defending the people who do not acknowledge the privilege of their situation. this is a marked problem with the concept. but in the same way that it is a useful term in bridging the gap to acknowledging institutional abuse and trauma, it is an important acknowledgement of part of the harm that gifted programs do. it is significant, and it should be yet another reason for the abolition of this type of program.

i've deliberately omitted any discussion of friends, family, others, and my personal experience with these traumas, not because i feel like they're not relevant, but because it is not anyone's business, and my argument should not hinge on the severity of the effects of these events have had on my life.

tl;dr here: the terms eldest daughter syndrome and gifted child burnout (and associated terms) are not useful in that they describe a specific and coherent experience, but in their observational power and gateway to the personal acknowledgement that the affected parties are victims, only when used as such.

——————————

* behavioral problems not in the sense of problem children or defiance, as it's typically colloquially associated, but in the non-pathological sense, that in a clinical way, the psych field would not consider these "significant" enough to warrant diagnosis, even if it may be disabling. psych professionals are not the arbiters of what is and is not a problem

** there is evidence that this disproportionately affects immigrant families, as well. there are other factors besides birth order and perceived gender; that is beyond the scope of this post.

*** 2E is a term that bothers me on a lot of levels, and while it was an attempt to give support needs to those considered gifted, the concept of gifted programs in general are very ill conceived and usually have racist and ableist roots. i do owe some of my success in adulthood to 2E programs, i owe it in equal part to the 504 act, and the concept of 2E will always be insulting, rooted in racism and ableism, and an unnecessary allocation of resources that should be available to all students, abled or disabled.

[none-of-your-biscuits]

Biscuits watching high guardian spice aka little witch wannabes ep 4: Parsley, Slime boy, and the almost good episode

-okay "the squirrelly kid down the hallway who can pick locks, hostage negotiation" was a little funny

-Tall is entertaining at least

-ugh the potions teacher

-why are they all packing in one room aren't they from 2 separate room pairs

-oh boy the stereotype lesbians are back

-you were gone for like a month how would you already have 2 more brothers??? Does birth control just, not exist

-oh?

-oh it's the magic jawbreaker

-shut it pepto

-you've gotta get a magic jawbreaker that fits? It's about the jawbreaker itself and doesn't just adapt to the person? Are we getting an actual scrap of lore

-eldest daughter syndrome?? In my horrible show

-actually this is actually worse the more I think about it

-like blondie is noticeably older than her brothers, she deadass works at her family's blacksmithing shop despite her being like the equivalent of a freshman

-her parents couldn't even bother to take like 5 minutes and write her a letter? Damn

-Tall lore? Only took 3 eps

-wack, don't like the vibes

-yeah bad vibes

-if it's so much work stop having kids, I hate Blondie's parents

-don't force ur daughter to raise your kids you fucks

-stop bringing up new and old magic unless you do something about it

-WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS KID SAYING

-it's just mumbles

-SLIME BOY!

-please get him a better mic it sounds like he recorded his lines on a DS

-the magic jawbreaker shop is interesting

-I love slime boy

-oh it's the logo staff, who could have guessed

-I feel so bad for Parsley

-damn, the energy

-ugh the kids like 3 lines overlapping so much is so annoying

-Tall and Parsley being more entertaining when cut away from the cotton candy cucks wasn't expected but was appreciated

-this is actually a mildly entertaining plot

-ew back to the boring characters

-the new/old magic thing isn't supposed to be a series of drug jokes but I'm gonna pretend it is bc it's funnier this way

-oh shit she said a sWeAr my poor child ears

-I hope that never happens again, the diologue is unnatural enough as is

-the *shivers* allura lookin cousin annoys me

-damn this poor girl

-damn right it's not her fuckin job to raise ur kids for u

-the outro is a jumpscare

-overview I guess

-the only things I really cared about was parsley and the magic jawbreaker shop, everything else was meh

-didn't really like that everything was resolved super quickly but it's whatever I guess

-if I didn't have adhd and the habit of over thinking I think this show would be much more aggravating than it already is